#or like. if they do sit with someone they only talk to them in that lecture and nowhere else in my experience LOL

[elliespectacular]

Don't much care for the whole "I will no longer do this Normal Thing if I suspect someone watching me might have a fetish for it." like, y'all this is why people are censoring their damn feet in otherwise-innocuous photos.

Hate to break it to you but everything is a fetish. Drinking water? Fetish. Eating? Fetish. Sneezing? Fetish. Clearing your throat? Fetish. Burping, farting, pissing, shitting, walking, sitting, standing, having your mouth visible when you talk, making certain mouth sounds, your accent (yes yours), your skin color (yes yours), makeup, lack-of-makeup, smelling bad, smelling good, smelling neutral, hair, lips, noses, eyes, ears, chins, shoulders, necks, armpits, elbows, fingers, chests, stomachs, backs, hips, thighs, knees, knee pits, ankles, toes, soles - all fetishes. Like it or not someone somewhere will Perceive You and they will Like What They See.

And they will be silent and normal about it because guess what? Fetishes are normal and most people know how to conduct themselves around others tactfully. We only ever find out about specific fetishes as they relate to us in particular when someone is choosing to be decidedly Not Normal about it, so we assume everyone who has those fetishes is a tactless weirdo. Rookie mistake. I guarantee some of your friends have fetishes for innocuous non-sexual things too, and it doesn't make them some kind of pervert creep.

So please for fucks sake live your damn life. Don't contort your entire existence around the fear of the possibility that you might maybe possibly inadvertently turn someone on a little sometimes. This too is a fetish.

[alotofpockets]

Co-captains | Leah Williamson x Lionesses!Reader

Where your teammates try to get you with someone at the World Cup to make Leah jealous

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.7k

-----

While representing your country was always an honour, especially at the World Cup, it felt different this time around. Ever since you were thirteen you had represented England with your best friend Leah, but this year she wouldn’t be there with you.

Leah had done her ACL a few months before the World Cup, everyone was devastated for her. The injury in itself was horrible, but to have it happen right before a big tournament like the World Cup made it even worse. 

Besides being best friends, you had also been co-captains for your country the past couple of years. Doing this tournament without her felt wrong, but you knew you had to step up and make her proud.

The team had definitely noticed your mood during your training sessions in Australia. You were very grateful to be a part of the team, but not having Leah there to do it with you kept playing over and over in your head. 

“Missing Leah?” Keira asked as she sat down next to you in the hotel lobby. “Yeah, I wish she was here with us.” A playful smirk formed on Keira’s face. “What?” You asked with your brows furrowed. “Oh nothing, but if I were you I’d turn around.” You had no idea what was going on, but you turned around like she said.

“Lee!” You quickly stood up when you saw your best friend walk through the doors. “You’re here!” With a couple steps you had reached her and wrapped your arms around her. “I’m here.” She whispered. 

“I can’t believe you’re really here.” You hadn’t smiled this much since you had gotten to Australia. “You didn’t think I was gonna sit this one out completely, did you?” 

You let Leah greet the rest of the girls, and hugged her brother Jacob who had been filming the whole thing. “Jakey, I saw you a few days ago, how could you not have told me?” The first day you had landed in Australia, you had gone to visit Leah’s brother. The two of you had talked about the World Cup, and Leah’s wellbeing, and yet he hadn’t said a word about this surprise. He playfully shrugs his shoulders. “What would have been the fun in ruining the surprise?”

The rest of the day was filled with laughter and excitement. Leah joined you at training, while she wasn’t playing, she was a captain at heart and had plenty to say to prepare her team for the upcoming games.

After training you all gathered in the common room of the hotel, you sat down between Ella and Jordan. The room filled with a mix of conversations about everything and nothing. Leah was sitting across the room from you, and every now and again your eyes would fall on her. A small smile playing at your lips when she would look your way as well.

“Look at them,” Alessia said softly enough for only Ella to hear. “They’re such idiots.” Ella followed her best friend’s eyes between you and Leah, “Completely clueless.” Alessia nodded in agreement, “We’ve really got to do something about that.”

An idea formed in Ella’s mind and a smirk grew on her face. “I’ve got an idea.” She turned back towards you. She spoke loud enough for all of the team to hear this time. “So, y/n, it’s been ages since you’ve been on a date, hasn’t it?”

The question took you off guard, seemingly coming out of nowhere. “Eh, I guess so. What does that have to do with anything?” You felt watched by everyone on the team and suddenly you grew nervous.

“Oh, I was just thinking that we could help you out. There are so many good looking players at this tournament, there must be one that has caught your eye, right?” Your cheeks flushed as the intensity of the eyes on you grew stronger. “Oh, eh, I don’t know. I’ve just been focussed on football.”

Your eyes darted to Leah, silently asking for help. She was sitting back in her chair, looking nonchalantly, but for a second you thought you saw a flicker of sadness in her eyes. Before you could think about it further Jordan chimed in on the conversation. 

“Oh come on, there must be someone. Name one player you think is fit.” You felt put on the spot, so you named the first player that came to mind. “Oh eh, maybe Alexia Putellas, she’s a very talented player.”

The team erupted in laughter at how you were still choosing to look at this through football lenses. Only one person wasn’t laughing, and that was Leah. Her jaw was clenched as she looked at you, but it went unnoticed by you. 

“I can definitely set you up with Alexia. In fact, I can call her right now!” Keira joined in on the fun. “No! Please don’t do that.” You didn’t like the turn this was taking. “Oh I won’t then, someone else maybe?”

Everyone on the team joined in on calling out names. Raso? Rölfo? Kaneryd? Bonmatí? Kennedy? Sonnet? Fleming? 

Leah sat watching the scene unfold unamused. Her arms were crossed and her expression had turned into a frown. Everyone was enjoying getting a reaction out of you by listing every player they could think of, so they hadn’t noticed the change in her demeanour, until she stood up abruptly. Her chair loudly clattering against the floor.

The room went fully silent. No more names being thrown around, and no more laughter. “I eh, I’m gonna go check on her.” You stood up and followed in the direction Leah took off in. 

“Lee, what’s wrong?” You say as you reach her about to open her hotel room. She huffed and walked into the room, just before the door closed behind her, you managed to slip through. 

“Nothing, go meet up with any one of those people the girls mention. Go out, have fun.” Your brow furrowed, “Lee, I don’t know what’s going on. But-” She cut you off before you could continue telling her that you never said you wanted to meet up with those people, that it was just coming from your teammates. 

“I can’t deal with listening to you potentially being with any one of those people. I don’t wanna hear who you think is good looking or fit. I don’t want to hear it because… because I want you to think of me that way.” The last part of her sentence was barely above a whisper.

You stood there, too stunned to get out any words. Leah figured she had put it on the table now, so she might as well continue what she just started. "I like you. I like you more than just my best friend. More than I ever thought I would. I didn’t realise it until I heard you talk about other girls that way.” She looked up at you nervously. 

“Well, I was going to say that I didn’t talk about any of the people that way, and that it was only the girls doing so. And honestly the reason for that is because I only have eyes for you Leah. I like you too, I have for a long time.”

“You do?” Your smile grew, “Yes, you dummy. I’ve been a total grump without you here. You are the only person that I want. I don’t care about any other players going into this competition, it’s always been you.”

Leah stood up quickly and moved towards you. “I am so happy to hear you say that.” She said with her face mere inches away from yours. One look at her lips and then quickly diverting your eyes back to hers, was enough for Leah to lean in and connect your lips. 

The kiss was short and sweet. It was everything you had hoped it would be and more. “Will you be my girlfriend?” Leah asked as soon as you pulled away from the kiss. “Definitely.” You said with a big smile.

“Can we go back down and show the girls everything is alright?” You asked shyly, not wanting to make Leah feel bad for walking out on everyone the way that she did. “Only if we can tell them that they can stop trying to match you up with someone.” You chuckled at her request. “Deal.” 

As you wanted back to the girls, Leah took ahold of your hand and gave it a soft squeeze. You couldn’t believe that she was your girlfriend, but you knew that with Leah by your side everything was going to be great.

The atmosphere in the common room shifted the second the both of you walked in. The team had been quietly speculating about what had happened, and if they had taken things too far. 

As soon as they looked at your intertwined hands, the speculation started back up again, this time in the direction of did this actually work? 

“Everything alright?” Keira asked with a knowing smile. Leah glanced at you and squeezed your hand once more. “Yeah, everything is more than alright.” She pulled you a little closer. “You can stop matchmaking, I’m taking her out tomorrow morning.” 

The room filled with cheers and laughter. A few of the girls high fived each other. “Finally, I thought we were going to have to lift every player in the tournament before the two of you finally got together.” Ella says dramatically, earning a laugh from the whole group, including you and Leah.

The teasing of the girls didn’t stop, but this time around it felt different. Leah’s arm was wrapped around your shoulder, with her thumb lightly caressing your arm. 

You still had the tournament ahead of you, but tonight had given you a bit of extra encouragement to perform better than you had ever done before. You felt ready to take on the world and make Leah proud.

-----

💗 If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking, commenting, and reblogging! You can also supporting me by leaving a tip 💗

[azrielbrainrot]

Spoiled Rotten

Pairing: Azriel x F!Reader x Rhysand

Kinktober 2024: Double Penetration

Description: You've had Rhysand and Azriel one after the other multiple times, but you can only imagine how much better it will feel to have them at the same time.

Warnings: Smut, vaginal sex, anal sex, double penetration in different holes, cockwarming (kind of), fingering, slight dom/sub dynamics, some rhys x azriel, dirty talk

Word Count: ~2,7k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Notes: This is sort of a continuation for All Over My Skin, but there's hardly any plot in either story so it's not necessary to read them both. Hope you enjoy!

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

“You're stalling.”

There's really no reason for you to be feeling so impatient when you were sitting on Rhysand's lap as he leaned back against the headboard, his cock tucked in deep inside you, his mouth littering your neck and shoulder with wet kisses, while Azriel kneeled behind you, his fingers stretching out your other hole gently. This was something right out of a wet dream, but these males had turned you into an insatiable version of yourself, one that could never get enough of them no matter how many times they fucked you. That's exactly what led to this situation in fact.

“We're not stalling.” Rhys kisses a path up to your ear, biting your earlobe softly, a warning not to be so impatient. “We're getting you ready.”

“I am ready,” you argue back, wrapping your arms around his neck thigher.

“That's not up for you to decide, darling,” he easily dismisses you, one of his hands moving down to hold your asscheek, spreading it further apart for his spymaster.

“It's not up to you either,” you taunt.

If someone were to stumble into this room, it would only take them a handful of seconds to understand Azriel was the one in charge, not the High Lord, not in this bed. Which is exactly why you focus your efforts on the other male - he was always a lot sweeter and more receptive to your begging anyway.

“Azriel,” you whine unashamedly, turning around to face him as best as you could. He simply chuckled, leaning closer, his chest coming into contact with your back, supporting you as you leaned back. “I promise I'm ready.”

“You promise?” He starts kissing your neck just like Rhys had been doing, biting a mark of his own onto your skin. You nod in confirmation, clenching around his fingers when he scissors them slowly, getting rewarded with a soft groan of approval. “I think you might be,” he mumbles against your jaw.

Looking down at Rhys, you can't help the triumphant smile from taking over your features, a familiar fire burning in his eyes in response. “You're lucky I enjoy fucking the attitude out of you so much,” he says, grinding into you ever so softly. Good thing you enjoy that thoroughly as well.

Azriel's fingers abandon you suddenly, his mouth following suit as he moves away from you completely. You almost feel cold when he does, leaning forward into the High Lord's arms, instinctively seeking his warmth instead. He welcomes you despite your bickering, caressing your back lovingly.

Even though this had been your idea and you had been more than insistent, now that it was about to happen you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. This wasn't the first time you had done anal, or even that Azriel or Rhys had fingered you like that, but Azriel was big, and taking either of them in your cunt always made you feel incredibly full. You might have bitten more than you could chew wanting to have them both like this.

It was also impossible to see behind you so every little noise left you wondering what was about to happen, the anticipation driving you crazy. Apparently that was easily remedied as Rhysand simply put his daemati abilities to good use and shared his view with you, showing the way Azriel coated his cock in that tonic of his that he also used when he was stretching you out. You drop a chaste kiss on his cheek, a small thanks for easing your nerves. He lets out a distracted hum in acknowledgement, too focused on the sight of Azriel fisting his cock as he stared at the way your cunt swallowed Rhys.

You can't help but tense up slightly when Azriel comes closer and reaches out to hold your hip, cursing yourself mentally. After insisting so much, you really didn't want to make them feel like you weren't ready or getting cold feet. You still wanted this more than anything. He simply leans down, dropping a soft kiss over your spine and mumbles against the skin, “I promise I'll take care of you, angel.”

Nodding, you lay onto Rhys' chest, who wraps his arms around you, and let them take the lead, focusing on taking deep breaths and letting the way they touch you relax your body, trusting they will make this amazing for you. The High Lord reaches between your bodies wordlessly, finding your clit and rolling it slowly around his thumb until you're melting into him, short puffs of breath hitting his heated skin.

The next time Azriel reaches for your hip, there's no room for hesitation or nerves as he thumbs at your hole before lining himself up properly, only a tremble passing through your body at the feeling, one that convinces him that you were ready.

“Need you to arch your back for me,” Azriel says, running a hand up your spine as you follow his command. “Just like that.”

A choked whimper escapes you as he manages to coax the thick head of his cock into you carefully. Knowing the adjustment you have to make just to fit him in your cunt, this almost feels surreal. He doesn't move for a while, letting you adjust as his hands fall on your sides, squeezing comfortingly.

“Let me see you, darling.” Rhys' voice breaks you out of your thoughts, abandoning the safe place you'd created for yourself in his neck, lifting yourself up on trembling arms so you could look up at his hauntingly beautiful face. He lets out a breathy chuckle, one strong hand coming up to hold your cheek as he takes notice of your half lidded eyes and the small pants escaping you, thumbing at your lower lip. “You look like such a pretty mess.”

No matter how much you love to argue with him, you can't even bring yourself to deny it. Everything felt too sensitive in that moment, and not only being stretched out in both holes but also the way his thumb kept abusing your clit were clouding your mind further into the abyss with each passing breath. He tilts his head as he watches the fight leave your eyes, a wicked smirk growing on his face.

“I wonder,” he starts, hand dropping to your thigh, “what will happen if I do this.” As soon as the words leave his mouth he pulls his hips back slightly and fucks his cock back into you, not giving you a chance to even prepare yourself. A gasp escapes you, nails biting into his shoulders as he repeats the motion, grinding into you.

“Slowly, Rhys,” Azriel warns behind you, taking advantage of your distraction to drive a bit more of his cock into you, letting out a groan of his own when he barely finds resistance, your tight walls fighting to accommodate him.

“She can take it. Can't you, darling?”

You felt close to insanity, the way they both stretched you out sending you to another realm of pleasure, hands grasping for Rhysand's face, bringing him into a messy kiss. He was right, you could take it, and despite feeling damn near overwhelmed between the both of them, you still wanted more.

A purr of approval echoes in your mind, the familiar sound making your toes curl, prompting yet another shaky moan past your parted lips. Need more? He speaks into your mind, biting your lip at the same time. Please. You would worry about how easy you had been reduced to begging another day, right now you were ready to do just about anything for them not to stop, and for Azriel to hurry. Tell him. Beg him to fuck your ass, nice and pretty.

“Azriel,” you breathe out, “I can take it.”

Rhysand's teeth sink harder into your lip, a light reprimand for not obeying him completely. It's not like you ever do, he can't be too surprised. He lets out a soft chuckle, kissing the corner of your mouth. Even if he wasn't privy to the mental conversation you were having without him, Azriel knew you both well and your body even better, he knew exactly what you needed.

“Keep moving,” he throws at Rhys, meeting his eyes over your shoulder. His grip tightening on you as his patience threatens to slip at the mere thought of finally fucking you. The High Lord follows his command obediently, both his hands grasping onto the sides of your thighs as he starts thrusting into you harder, hitting all the right spots.

It's a welcomed distraction, one Azriel is clearly counting on to keep moving inside you without a chance of hurting you, but the stimulation on your clit is missed immediately, prompting you to do it yourself, circling it between your fingers in time with Rhys' thrusts.

“Fuck. You're taking me so well,” Azriel lets out as he also starts grinding into you, thrusting his cock out slowly only to push it back in a bit deeper, repeating the motion a few times until he was completely seated inside you, stopping his motions to let you adjust, as your body trembled against theirs.

It was hard to wrap your head around what you were feeling. You had never felt so full, had never been so full, but Rhys doesn't give your mind a chance to linger, always wanting to see you absolutely wrecked. He starts fucking into you even harder, making you forget yourself.

An orgasm hits you unexpectedly a few thrusts in, after floating in calm waters for so long your body gives in at the first proper stimulation it receives. Your forehead falls on his shoulder, eyes rolling back, a choked moan escaping you, a scarred hand replacing yours against your clit intensifying the trembles running through your body as you arch into him and fall into darkness.

The fog doesn't disperse from your mind right away when you come down, barely registering the way Azriel wraps an arm around your waist, lifting you up until your back is up against his chest, the angle driving his cock even deeper inside, your legs still spasming softly as your hands move to hold onto Rhysand's waist.

“So fucking beautiful, all fucked out for us,” Rhysand praises, a purr in his chest as if he had been the one to cum. You can't do much but blink up at him, a shiver running down your spine at the hunger in his gaze. “Don't tell me you're already tired, darling.”

You swallow around a dry throat, trying to push past the haziness and find a good rebuttal for the High Lord's teasing when Azriel kisses your neck, stealing your attention and clouding your mind before you get the chance. The simple gesture sends a shudder down your body, making you clench around them, both males smirking around a moan at your reaction.

“Are you?” The shadowsinger whispers right into your ear, the teasing tone to his voice reminiscent of the menace watching the scene unfold in front of you. You shake your head in vehement denial. Azriel tuts, biting your earlobe. “Use your words, angel.”

“I’m not tired,” you rush to explain. “Still need you, need you both.”

“Want us to fuck you?”

“Wanna make you cum. Please.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Azriel is pushing you gently back down closer to Rhys, both males maneuvering you until they have a good enough angle and start thrusting into you in tandem, tentatively at first, trying not to overwhelm you too fast once again, though it's easier said than done, especially when you were still trembling on the edge.

Even as they pick up their pace, you can tell Azriel is holding himself back. He has fucked you enough times for you to know the way he moves and rolls his hips by heart. It's sweet, incredibly so, and it's on occasions like these that make you doubt you will be able to keep this relationship platonic, but right now you needed him to fuck you until you couldn't think straight.

Moving your hips back against them as best as you can, your hand finds his, murmuring between harsh breaths, “Harder.”

A single word sends them both moving frantically, a drawn out moan echoing around the room along with sounds of wet skin slapping together and mindless praises. When you asked them to do this, you hadn't stopped to think that this would also be their first time, and that they would be into it as much as you were.

In a mess of limbs and sweat, tucked in between their strong bodies, you feel a familiar knot low in your stomach tightening rapidly. You don't even get a chance to warn them when Rhysand beats you to it, a curse escaping him as he cums inside you, milking himself dry, hips never stopping. Even if you hadn't been unbearably close already, watching the High Lord lose control, holding your body closer as he spilled inside you, would have certainly sent you over the edge either way.

This time you have time to prepare for it, to bask in the pleasure without feeling like you'd been drowned. Though this doesn't make it any less intense, nothing with these two is ever anything less than intense. You see stars bursting behind your eyelids, incoherent words and gasped moans escaping your lips as you fall forward, trusting that they will hold you and coax as much pleasure from you as they can.

Rhysand kisses you as you're coming down, parting from your abused lips to watch you struggle to catch your breath. He had long since stopped moving inside you, but Azriel's thrusts still moved you along his cock enough for oversensitivity to start biting.

“Holding back, Az?” He asks, staring into hazel eyes, his hands moving to hold onto your asscheeks, assisting him, and giving him an even better view in the process.

Turning your head, you try to watch him as well, the handsome male throwing a stupidly gorgeous smile at you when he catches you looking. As irresistibly handsome as the shadowsinger always is, this had to be your favorite look on him. Azriel leans over you while you're too busy gawking at him, letting some of his weight fall on you and Rhys.

“Just wanted to watch you first,” he murmurs, dropping two messy kisses to your shoulder and another to your neck, speeding up his pace as he starts chasing his orgasm.

His gaze locks on Rhysand's once again, their eyes never straying from each other as his hips start faltering, getting closer. When the High Lord grabs the back of his neck and pulls him into a hungry kiss, you feel a shudder running through him, his thrusts turning short and harder as he cums inside you at last, filling you up just like Rhys had done. You can't help but let out a needy moan, not only at the feeling but also at the sight. You wonder if they'd let you watch them like they so often watch the other fuck you.

Rhysand breaks away from the kiss with a small laugh, blinding purple eyes finding yours. “I really need to teach you how to think quietly.”

Rolling your eyes, you simply drop a quick kiss to his lips when Azriel moves back, hands splaying over your ass, thumbs pushing the fat apart, taking one last look at both of their cocks nestled inside you, at how full you were.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, pulling out of you carefully and helping Rhys do the same, turning you around gently, allowing you to properly see him again. “Are you alright?”

“More than,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him, hugging his body as close as possible. You just about start purring when you feel Rhysand's hands fall on his waist, holding you both in his embrace. You almost wished you could freeze time right then, and stay in that moment forever.

[starkeyvhs]

kiss me

PAIRING: rafe cameron x fem!reader

SUMMARY: 3 times rafe’s attempts to kiss you for the first time failed and the 1 time it didn’t. OR you have a ‘thing’ going on with the most popular guy of your school, where you both just know about your mutual attraction, but aren’t doing anything about it. how cliché, am I right?

WORD COUNT: 4.6k

WARNINGS: rafe is such a tease and a pain in the ass (but reader loves him); nerdy reader who loves science; swearing; high school au; swearing; slightly suggestive jokes; reader overworks herself; fluffiness and softness overall; I always beta read my fics but if there are any minor grammatical/spelling errors please ignore

EDITH SPEAKS: and it’s out!!! I’ve been wanting to write something like this for so long and i hope I did justice to the entire 3+1 idea! I always love fics in this format and I hope mine is pretty fun to read too <3 please reblog if you enjoyed reading! feedback is always highly appreciated 🪻

masterlist / join my taglist / requests

ONE — SNEAK IN

The soft chirping of the cicadas and the rustling of the trees in the gentle breeze is completely lost on you as your focus remains solely on the assignment opened in front of you, your headphones fixed in place, canceling any noises from outside whatsoever. 

Your attention is so absorbed by just your work that you don’t even realize when the window of your room slowly slides open, revealing no one other than Rafe slowly climbing inside your room. It’s only when Rafe accidentally bumps into your dresser and lets out a groan when you are made aware there is someone besides you in your room, and the sudden realization makes you let out a scream. 

“Jesus–” Rafe mutters, quickly muffling your scream with his hand covering your mouth. “It’s just me, calm down,” 

He watches your widened eyes slowly fall shut for a moment before opening back up, the tense muscles of your body slowly relaxing. He gently removes your headphones and keeps them aside on your bed, his hand coming off your mouth and falling to his side. 

“You scared me!” You say, giving a light smack to his arm as you scoot over on your bed to make space for him. Rafe only playfully rolls his eyes and sits next to you on your bed. His eyes skim over your assignment sprawled over your bed sheets in front of you before meeting your gaze. 

“What?” He teases, leaning back against the headboard, watching you look back at him with that adorable confused expression that he loves. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” you begin, “probably something about how you just sneaked in?” You say, your voice taking an incredulous tone.

He chuckles softly, his heart only melting more at your incredulity, and the way your eyes widen when he begins to make himself more comfortable; fluffing the pillow behind him once and slouching against it. 

“You talk a lot sometimes, you know that?” He teases, letting his fingers curl around your arm and giving you a gentle tug. 

You only huff at his words, trying your level best to not let the small smile pulling the corners of your lips to be shown to him, because you just know the amount of teasing it’ll entail. 

You let him pull you closer to him, now both of you sitting so close to each other your knee touches his thigh. You look at him, all slouched and comfortable in your bed as you sit upright. 

“What?” You mutter, as he gazes back at you with a gentle smirk on his face. 

“Nothing,” he shrugs, his smirk only widening as he keeps on gazing at you, the eye contact strong and firm, and it’s clear none of you are ready to cut it. 

You can feel a certain heat rising up in your cheeks with the way his piercing blue eyes simply refuse to leave yours. It’s intoxicating in a way – the feelings bubbling under your skin when he looks at you like that, and no matter how hard you wish to try, you just can’t take your own eyes away from his. 

“What are you even doing here?” You mutter, your eyes still sinking into his. 

“What? I can’t visit my favorite girl?” Rafe says – more like challenges – a matching look in his eyes as he leans forward just slightly. 

That catches you off guard, no doubt, but you maintain eye contact with him, squinting your eyes just a bit. 

“Liar,” you mutter, your tone accusatory, a finger coming up pointing towards his face. “I know that’s not true. What do you want? Chemistry homework? No wait, you suck at math you probably need–” 

Rafe can’t help but let out a quiet laughter at your words, his gaze breaking apart from yours as he looks down at his lap, shaking his head quietly as he laughs. 

“What?” You clear your throat, sitting up straighter as you grab your assignment back again and bring it in your lap, flipping through the pages to find where you left off before a certain intrusion completely broke your focus. 

“Hey hey come on now,” he says, gently pulling the above assignment out from your hands and keeping it aside. “I’m here, give me attention,” he pouts, sitting up straighter in bed and shifting closer to you. 

You let out a deep exhale and turn to look at Rafe. “See? That’s better,” he mutters, a small smile playing on his lips as he lets his fingers gently tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. 

Another silence envelops you two, but this time it’s more charged – as if a certain pull is making sure you don’t even attempt to take your eyes away from him. The silence only electrifies the moment between you two more, and before you know it, you can see him ever so slowly gravitating towards you. 

“Honey I’m home!”

Your mother’s voice rings through your entire house, and it’s like the sharpest knife cutting through the thickest tension. The bubble that formed around you and Rafe bursts immediately and Rafe springs away from you, both of your eyes widening. 

“Shit,” you curse under your breath, suddenly remembering how your mother left the house to buy some groceries. 

“I’m just gonna–” Rafe says immediately as he scrambles to get up from your bed, giving a quick adjustment to his hair once and rushing over to your window from where he had sneaked in. 

“Yeah yeah,” you breathe, and you can hear the steady steps of your mother coming up the stairs of the upper level; right where your room is. 

“Bye,” Rafe says shortly and climbs out of the window and goes back down with the help of the huge tree in your backyard; following the same path he took when he came up. 

Your eyes drift over the messed sheets where he was just laying a moment ago, and towards the window where your curtains flutter under the wind. A moment later you hear a knock on your door and it opens, your mother’s head peeking in. 

You snap your head towards her and give a gentle smile, letting her enter your room and engage in a conversation with you. 

As much as you try to talk with her with complete focus, your mind goes back to that moment, and to say you feel butterflies in your stomach just thinking about it is the biggest understatement of the century. 

⊹₊⋆.˚୨୧⋆.˚₊ ⊹

TWO — LIBRARY

“Wait wait wait, this was– ethylene?” 

“Yeah,” 

“And, this is… fuck what was it?” 

“Acetylene,” 

“Acetylene, yeah that, so that’s acetylene,” 

“Uh huh,” 

“And, what’s the difference again?” 

You look up from the notebook to be met with a sheepish smile on Rafe’s smile, and you let out a soft sigh. 

“I know I know I’ve asked this a million times but, just one last time? Please?” He pouts, batting his eyelashes in an attempt to ‘woo’ you. 

“Okay okay you can stop that,” you mutter and shake your head, hearing him silently chuckle. You open a fresh page of your notebook to explain to him the structural differences between ethylene and acetylene again.

“... this has a double bond and this has a triple, that’s… that’s literally it,” you say, looking up from your drawn structures on the paper to his face. 

“Ohhhh,” he exaggerates, snapping his fingers. “I get it now,” 

“Uh huh now you do,” you mutter, trying to figure out how he just couldn’t understand the difference between double and triple bonds. Somewhere, you knew he was just doing this to tease you, but you push that thought away in your mind, instead focusing on searching for the next topic from your book. 

Rafe has been on the cusp of failing chemistry – something which is not a shock to you – for quite a while now.  It didn’t matter one dime to him but now when his teacher made him sit down and actually realize how much he’s been falling behind, it was like a switch of reality had turned on in his mind. 

“Rafe, these grades just won’t cut it. You need someone to help you with this,” the teacher had said, rubbing the bridge of his nose, clearly tired with the boy sitting in front of him. 

“Y/n will help me, for sure,” he had said with a cheeky smile, the thought of getting you to tutor him making him overly giddy.

The teacher had agreed, and now here you are, in the school library, spending your hours trying to explain the mere basics of organic chemistry to him. Can’t say you’re complaining about it, though. 

“Okay so I think I’m going to pick up isomerism next, it’s easy and should finish quick–”

“Nah I’m tired,” he whines, dragging your textbook away from him. 

“What the– give it back!” You say, attempting to take it back from him as he keeps it well out of your reach above his head. 

“Nuh uh,” he grins, shaking his head. “Come on, we’ve been going over this… alien language for the last hour. I get it, carbon adores hydrogen, blah blah,” he rolls his eyes. 

“It’s not an alien language,” you huff, “you’d understand it if you actually focus on it,” 

“It is an alien language,” he retorts, keeping the book back on the table. “Don’t you think our lives would be so much easier without all this chemistry and physics?” 

“But I like them,” you defend, realizing there’s no way he’s going to get back to studying, so you resort to gathering all your stationery in your pencil pouch. 

“Yeah yeah I know you do,” he smiles, watching you collect your stuff. “I, for one think that Newton was boring as fuck. He just wasn’t laid enough I’m telling you. If he was, he wouldn’t have spent his time studying apples falling from trees,” 

You snap your head at him, a furrow in your brows and a look of disgust twisting your features. “Huh?” you exclaim, falling shut just the next moment as you glance over your shoulder towards where the librarian is sitting, realizing just how loud you were. 

Thankfully, the librarian is busy with talking to some students, so she didn’t hear your loud reaction to Rafe’s absurd comments. 

“God,” you mumble, shaking your head and turning to look back at Rafe, who just has an amused grin on his face. 

“She’s gonna kick you out if she hears you,” he muses, glancing at the librarian himself before looking back at you. 

“Yeah I’m aware,” you mutter, focusing back on gathering your stuff. 

“So…” he begins, leaning slightly closer to you and keeping his voice low, “what did you think of it?”

“Of what?” 

“Of Newton not getting laid enough,” 

“Rafe–” you groan, closing your eyes tight for a moment to regain your composure. You exhale deeply, before looking back at Rafe. “That’s fucking ridiculous,” you mutter. 

“No it’s not it’s a serious matter, I mean, think about it,” he says, “if he was busy with girls he really wouldn’t have any time to think of apples or whatever,” 

“He wasn’t thinking of apples he just saw an apple falling and came up with the concept of a force that is pulling things towards Earth–”

“Yeah yeah that, I know that missy, but he had way too much free time on his hands–”

“He made important contributions to physics–”

“Contributions my ass all he did was give me a fucking headache–”

“That’s not–” you shut your mouth again, taking another deep breath to control yourself. “You’re impossible,” you mutter, now keeping everything in your bag. 

“Aw come on,” Rafe laughs, gently taking your hands in his to stop you from packing your bag. “I know I’m being a real pain in the ass, and I’m sorry yeah?” He says, his voice taking a gentler tone as he gives your hands a soft tug, pulling you closer to him. 

Your focus gets completely diverted from the bag you were packing; the idea that you would just leave now  completely absent from your mind. 

A silence falls over you two, only accompanied by the sound of the occasional footsteps around the library, the ruffling of the pages and the scratching of pens on papers. It’s quite silent; only a few people in the library, leaving you and Rafe to a table all by yourself. 

“I’ve got to say…” he murmurs, his voice now incredibly low as he leans just a bit towards you, “you’re a great teacher,” 

“Yeah?” You mumble, your eyes flicking down to his lips for just a second before finding his eyes back again. 

“Yeah,” he hums, giving a nod of his head in agreement. A gentle smile pulls his lips as he gazes into your eyes, his hands still gently holding yours. 

“What?” You say quietly, suddenly starting to feel self-conscious under his gaze. You attempt to turn your face away from him, but just the moment you turn your head a little bit to the side, one of his hands leaves yours to gently grip your chin and turn it back to meet your gaze. 

“Don’t hide your pretty face from me, yeah?” He mumbles, his fingers under your chin for a moment too long, before he lets his hand let go of your chin.

You can feel your cheeks heat up from his comment. He’s said you’re pretty many times before no doubt, but this specific comment just felt different. 

The peaceful moment between you two is broken immediately when you both hear the sound of a throat clearing behind you. You both snap your head to the side to see the librarian standing on the opposite end of the table, her arms crossed in front of her chest as she glares at you. 

Flustered, you quickly tear your hands away from Rafe’s grip and keep your head down, busying yourself back with packing your bag. 

From the corner of your eye you catch Rafe sighing, crossing his own arms in front of his chest and leaning back in his chair, his gaze on his arms. 

“The library is closing,” the librarian says, her voice crisp and stern as ever. “You have two minutes to vacate,”

“Yes miss,” you mumble under your breath, your fingers subconsciously fiddling with one of the zippers on your bag. 

With one last glare, the librarian leaves the table, but you can still feel the intense focus of her gaze on yourself, as if she’s pinned you in place and you have no chance to even move a single limb. 

“Buzzkill,” Rafe mutters under his breath as he stuffs everything in his bag and hangs it on his shoulder, standing up. You quietly stand up too, hanging your own bag and following Rafe out of the library. On your way out, you feel the librarian staring at the both of you as you walk out. Rafe walks with an air of carefreeness while you only feel more and more judged. 

Well, you most certainly won’t be coming back here anytime in the near future, that’s for sure.

⊹₊⋆.˚୨୧⋆.˚₊ ⊹

THREE — THE HALLWAY

The quietness of the long hallway has a small sense of eeriness to it, watching it being empty instead of being filled completely with the hustle bustle of students between periods.

Rafe sighs quietly as he keeps his books in his locker, even the smallest sounds echoing in the silent hallway. As he’s almost done with keeping his stuff in the locker, the sound of footsteps in the hallway catches his attention.

He looks over his shoulder to watch you; your back to him as you reach your locker and open it to keep your own books. He smiles to himself at the sight of you. How weird is it that you both are only apart for one period and he already misses you deeply?

He saunters over to you, leaning his back against the locker door next to yours and gazes at you with a smile on his face.

“Hey there, pretty,” he hums, watching your eyes find him. “Smashed the test, I assume?”

He watches your eyes drift down from his silently as you get back to keeping books in your locker, your lips pressed in a thin line.

Rafe’s smile falters at your silent attitude. You had a huge calculus test, and the nerves had been getting to you all day before the test. Rafe had been doing his best to keep you relaxed, but with how much pressure you tend to take about tests and how heavy the subject actually is, he knew his efforts were fruitless. He saw you begin preparing for it as quickly as humanly possible, and it was extremely hard for him to convince you to prevent you from spending every waking second studying for it.

“Hey…” he mumbles softly, watching you keep yourself busy with keeping and pulling random notebooks in and from your locker. “What happened? You okay?”

Again, he’s met with silence. You even refuse to let your eyes meet.

Rafe exhales deeply through his nose as he gently places a hand on your shoulder. That grasps your attention, you flicker your eyes from the locker to his eyes.

“The test didn’t go okay?” He asks softly, gently closing the open locker door with his other hand. His gaze is fixed intently at you, and when he watches your gaze drop down to your shoes and your head shaking ‘no’ in response, his lips tug down in a frown.

“Oh no…” he mumbles, moving closer to you and wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you in a warm embrace.

You press your face into his chest, your arms hooking around his waist. “I studied so hard…” you mumble into his chest, “but I just, i don’t know what happened, I fumbled and forgot everything, even the things I was confident with…”

“Shh shh it’s okay…” Rafe mumbles, his words the most soothing balm you’ve ever experienced. “You’re really intelligent, okay? Don’t let this one test define your worth,”

“I know I know but…” You involuntarily snuggle more into Rafe’s chest, your body seeking his warmth which is providing you utmost comfort at a moment which has you on the verge of breaking down, “I just, i really gave it my all…” Your voice is low, your words weak and your body almost slumping in Rafe’s arms. Rafe only tightens his grip around you – because he always wants to be there to catch you whenever you feel like you’re going to fall.

Gently, Rafe pulls your head back from his chest. He lets his hand cup the side of your face, his thumb delicately stroking the skin of your cheek. “And that’s all that matters,” He mumbles slowly, looking into your eyes. “You gave your best, and that really is what matters the most. I’m really proud of you, you worked so hard. Everything doesn’t always turn out the way we want it, but you get rewarded for your hard work, always,”

You sniffle quietly as you look up at Rafe, your red rimmed eyes almost making his heart ache. “Yeah?” You murmur, and feel Rafe catch a stray tear on your cheek, wiping it off.

Rafe gives you a small smile and a nod of his head. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “I mean every word,”

Rafe’s thumb gently caresses over your cheek, slowly trailing over to your mouth. He lets the pad of his thumb slowly trace your lower lip, his gaze fixating on your lips and the slow, soothing repetitive motion of his thumb over your lip. He can feel your breathing coming in small puffs against his thumb, your lips just slightly parted.

The sharp ringing of the bell practically makes you two spring apart from each other, as if you both had completely forgotten where you actually were in the flow of the moment. Only a fraction of a second later, the chatter of students filters through the hallway and it’s now completely filled with students, completely in contrast to the deserted corridors mere moments ago.

“So, uh…” Rafe clears his throat, scratching the back of his neck as he does so – something you’ve seen he does often when he’s anxious, thinking of something, or in this case: when he’s nervous. “What class do you have next? I’ve uh… I have geography,”

“Uh I’ve got physics,” You mutter, your fingers twisting each other nervously behind your back.

“Okay so I’ll see you after class yeah?” He says, letting his hand fall to his side from behind his neck. “You, you take care yeah? Don’t think too much about the test, I’m sure you’ve done better than you think,”

“Uh huh,” You breathe, adjusting your bag on your shoulders.

An awkward silence falls over two as you remain stand-by among the hustle bustle of the students who brush past you, rushing to their lockers and eventually their classes. It’s almost like being in the center of the tornado, watching the chaos spin around you while you stay completely still.

Rafe chooses to break the silence, muttering a ‘bye’ to you and turning sharply on his heels, already making his way to his class. It takes a moment for you to get back to normal after everything you’ve experienced in the span of barely an hour, and you get going to your class too.

Well, you most certainly aren’t thinking way too much about that disaster of a test now, though.

⊹₊⋆.˚୨୧⋆.˚₊ ⊹

ONE — THE GYM

The dribbles of the ball against the wooden court echo throughout the empty gym, accompanied with the squeaks of the shoes. Rafe takes a jump, letting his fingers let go of the ball as it follows its path and swooshes right through the net in the cleanest manner possible. The ball lands back on the ground and bounces up and down continuously, Rafe’s eyes fixed on it from his position as he watches the way the ball eventually comes to a full stop on the floor. 

“Someone’s been working real hard, huh?” 

Rafe turns around to see you walking inside the empty gym, your hands on your back and a small smile on your face as you approach the ball. He watches you silently pick the ball up and toss it to him, which he catches with a single hand. 

“Yeah,” He says, standing still in his position, the orange ball now resting against his side under his arm. “We’ve got Regionals next week,”

You approach closer to him, a gentle smile on your face. “You’ll do great, trust me. You’re a great team captain,” Your voice is gentle and comforting. 

“I try my best,” He murmurs, his expression softening as he watches you look at him in the most soothing way. It’s so hard for him to put into words the way your presence makes him feel, but he knows everything becomes slightly bearable when he remembers he’s got you. 

You take a glance around the gym, the only people present in the large, empty space are you two. “You’ve been practicing alone?” You ask, your eyes finding his back again. 

“Yeah,” He replies, “it’s relaxing, to take some time by myself to practice,” 

“How long have you been here?” You ask, gently placing a hand on his arm. 

“Since school ended,” he says softly, his body relaxing under your brief touch. 

“It’s been two hours to that,” you murmur. “You’ve been here for quite some time now. You wanna take a break?”

Rafe looks around the gym once, as if contemplating taking a break or not. His eyes find yours, and the warmth and care in them makes him give in. 

“Okay,” He gives you a soft smile and you both walk over to the bleachers and sit down. Rafe takes a moment to wipe the sweat off his face with his towel and drinking from his bottle before sitting down next to you. 

“You nervous?” You say after a moment of silence. “About the regionals, I mean,”

Rafe shrugs, his gaze looking out at the huge basketball court in front of you two. “A bit, I guess,” He says. “Our team hasn’t gone to a Regionals in over 4 years now, so… there’s some pressure over me to lead the team to a win,”

You look over at him, a solemn expression on his face from his words. You don’t really know how much pressure being the team captain entails, but now, looking at him as he tells you about how much he’s got riding on him to lead the team to a winning position certainly gives you a small glimpse into how hard he has to work. 

“Hey…” You say, your voice soft as you let your fingers curl around his bicep. That catches his attention and he turns to look at you. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, yeah? You’re doing great, trust me. I really do think your team can win,”

Rafe’s expression softens at your words as he gazes into your eyes. “You really think so?” He mumbles quietly. 

“I know so,” You smile. “Your hard work will give you your results, you deserve it,”

His own lips upturn into a soft smile. Your words cause a wave of comfort to wash over him, the pressure of wanting to only be the best of the best from not only his coach and team, but from the entire school slowly easing it’s iron tight grip on his heart. 

“You’re so… sweet,” He murmurs, placing a hand on top of yours which is still around his bicep. 

Your smile slightly widens as you look in his eyes, watching him look at you with such fondness. Rafe gently takes your hand off his arm and brings it up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. 

“And so nice, and just…” He presses another kiss to your skin, “incredible.” He gently turns your hand over in his grip and presses a kiss to your palm, before giving it a soft tug and placing it on his cheek. You gently hold the side of his face, softly stroking his cheek with your thumb. He sighs softly, nuzzling his face into your palm, his eyes drooping slightly. 

He keeps on looking at you, and gently reaches out to place both his hands on your waist, pulling you slightly closer to him. He doesn’t take his hands off, only tightens his grip on you. You let go of his cheek and place both your hands on his shoulders, your eye contact not breaking with him. 

Your gaze flickers down to his lips, and it fixes on there. You can feel yourself beginning to lean closer to him, as if seeking him and his warmth out. Rafe makes no move to pull back, his blunt fingers slightly digging into your waist. 

You can feel his warm breath on your parted lips, your eyes almost fully shut. 

Rafe takes the leap, pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes fall shut completely the moment his lips seek yours in a warm press, every nerve ending of your body on fire from the closure between you two. 

Rafe slowly moves lips against yours in an unrushed manner, letting him and you feel every emotion you both now commonly share. You just know his heart is beating just as fast as yours, his mind is as blank as yours, and his body is on fire just like yours. 

Rafe slowly pulls back after a moment, letting his forehead rest against yours. Your breath comes out in short puffs against his lips, your eyes still closed as if opening them will make you snap out of the most beautiful dream you can ever dream of. 

“Finally,” Rafe mutters quietly, causing your lips to break out in a smile. 

“Yeah,” you murmur, “finally.” 

You lean forward to kiss him again, and Rafe’s heart explodes once again at your sweetness and warmth. 

Finally. 

⊹₊⋆.˚୨୧⋆.˚₊ ⊹

taglist: @oxpogues4lifexo / @drewstarkeys-world / @inthelibrarybtw / @mileyraes / @chenslucy

specific tags for this fic: @ilyrafe / @zyafics

tagging some moots: @runningfrom2am / @totalswag / @ladyinbl00d / @b1mb0slvt / @nemesyaaa

[strwberri-milk]

good day, author! Can I request an angst to fluff lads x reader ff where the reader was so inlove with the but they thought they love someone else. Until one day, the reader stopped and that's when they realized that it's her that they love not someone else. Sorry I know it's common and cringe but I want an angst fic 😭

ngl i really struggled to understand what was wanted here but!! i think i figured it out LMAO - i did put them all into 1 bc i just didnt see the dialogue shifting too much w what i had in my head i hope you dont mind <3

You'd never known that he was in love with you because he never acted like he was. You thought that the kindness he showed you was because he simply was that - kind. You'd never entertain the idea that he might actually have feelings for you. Sometimes you'd ask him if he was seeing anybody and he'd get a little quiet before telling you no. You don't really believe him though because whenever you'd ask him who his ideal partner is he'd get this look in his eyes you could never place before telling you that it's not something you need to worry about.

You thought that was his way of telling you he knows how you feel about him and that's how he's choosing to let you down easily. You decide that it's too difficult to be around him, telling him one day that you need to distance yourself from him. You can't admit the reason why, feeling a little humiliated by the childish way you're reacting but a big part of you simply can't help it.

You decide to push your feelings down for him, knowing that this was the only way that you could cope with the burden that is your emotions. You feel better, deciding that keeping your feelings to yourself would be the best thing to do to avoid ruining the friendship that the two of you built up so carefully. You'd never forgive yourself for losing him, telling yourself that just being beside him like this was more than enough for you.

"Why did you do that?"

You stare at the man standing on your doorstep, soaked from the rain as he stares at you intently.

"What do you mean?"

Your phone is still in hand, the message you sent him sitting on delivered.

"You can't seriously mean that, can you?"

You've never seen him like this before. You thought you'd spent enough time with him to know every emotion he's felt, to see the weight of them on his face. You could scarcely recognise the look in his eyes and your hands twitch with the need to hold his face.

"I didn't think you'd ever say something like that. Do you not know how I feel about you?"

Now his words are desperate, something you've definitely never heard from him before.

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," you mumble, averting his gaze.

"I just...I know that you have feelings for someone. I don't want to get in the way of your happiness but I'm scared that if I stay by your side I'll end up doing so by accident. I just want you to be happy."

His eyes widen slightly, shaking his head as he laughs a little bitterly.

"You really think I could feel this way about anybody but you?"

Your brain takes a moment to process what he says, staring at him.

You're about to question him, asking if he's actually serious when he leans down to press a kiss to your lips, holding you in his arms tightly.

"It's you," he mutters softly against your lips.

"It's always been you."

[haologram]

araneae 🕸️ k.sy

🕸️ synopsis: when you realize your friend (with benefits) actually has feelings for you, a tangled web of lies and avoidance ensues.

🕸️ genre: friends with benefits au ; big dummy dumb idiots to lovers because it's the only trope ever ; ta x student dynamics ; fluff, angst & smut (surprise?)

🕸️ pairing: zoology ta!kwon soonyoung x marine biology major!reader | side pairings: joshua hong x sana minatozaki ; vernon chwe x roh jisun (fromis_9) ; lee chan x jung haerim (weki meki) | mentions of: reader x yuta nakamoto (nct) ; reader x lee sangyeon (the boyz); hoshi x lee luda (wsjn) ; hoshi x choi yujin (kep1er/clc)

🕸️ word count: 18.9k (WE GOT IT UNDER 20K LETS GOOOOOO!)

🕸️ rating: 18+. minors do not interact i beg.

🕸️ warnings: this definitely more of their dynamic/relationship than him being her ta… ; mentions of knife play (none involved), alcohol, pink whitney gets its own warning as does everclear, mentions of un/protected sex (dw it'll get freaky later), mentions of cum, loss of virginity talk, mentions of marijuana (stoner!hoshi be off the honeypacks!!), mentions of STD testing (GET TESTED YOU FREAKS!) [smut warnings: multiple scenes ; mostly hoshi using sex as an apology ; oral (f. receiving) ; unprotected sex (hoshi x reader only) ; face sitting ; hoshi is a hopeless romantic and loves missionary ; they fuck mostly in their respective homes (read: he eats her out in a closet)] i think that’s it! lmk if i missed anything!

🕸️ what to listen to: good kisser - usher ; magic stick - lil' kim ; lie - bts ; spider - hoshi ; home - seventeen.

🕸️ author’s note: just an fyi, the smut is AWFUL and i'm not entirely happy with this🤩 but anyway, it’s finally here, the final installment of the seventeen ta collab!! special thanks to @camandemstudios for allowing me to be a part of this wonderful success, and i hope to be involved in more collabs in the future (also thank you so much for your patience, i know waiting for me to be able to post was infuriating.) enjoy stoner!hoshi…loser!hoshi? loverboy!hoshi…also somewhat bitchless!hoshi.

LAST YEAR – Sunday, October 23.

You were never opposed to a nice Halloween party. Lots of thematic drinks, stupid boys dressed as Ghostface trying to explore knife kinks, and girls going all out with their glitter make-up and tinsel in their hair for the optimal fairy costume.

You loved a good Halloween party, music blasting out of the speakers that were stolen from the AV Club by the softer version of the Beta Tau Omega brothers. Dancing with strangers in sweat-soaked facades, and waking up with smeared face paint all over your neck and shoulders from whatever disguised hook-up you'd taken home that night.

Last night's rager had to have been one for the books, because you have no idea how you ended up in this absolute mess of a bedroom – owned by none other than your close friend, Kwon Soonyoung. The same Kwon Soonyoung who also happens to TA the class you've put off taking for the last two years, and are set to start taking the upcoming spring semester.

The same Kwon Soonyoung that was related to the wife of the Dean, and the same Kwon Soonyoung that showed up everywhere stoned or ready to get stoned. The very same Kwon Soonyoung that made infused pre-rolls and edibles for nearly the entire campus…for free. Even you could see that was a horrible business call, and you were a Science major.

Soonyoung who helped people sneak kittens into their dorm rooms and make homes for them under lofted beds. Soonyoung, who taught a dance class and self-defense class back to back, so he was never free until after nine at night. Soonyoung who made hanging out seem like he was trying to get into your pants because he was just naturally flirtatious (and somehow, still absolutely bitchless.)

Soonyoung who you've kissed twice since meeting him two years ago, both times at Halloween parties hosted by his stupid fraternity. Soonyoung, who has had his hand up your skirt twice before someone interrupts you by asking if he has any weed at hand. He always does, and it's always in his car or his bedroom. He always goes, and a part of you, no matter how into it you may be, knows it's for the best.

He keeps his circle small, of friends that is. You were added to the mix sometime after your first Halloween party (and first kiss together) your freshman year, when he slammed into you in the middle of the economics hallway, breaking your laptop in the process. He'd felt so bad he took you to Best Buy that same night and shelled out two grand for a new one and even invited you out to lunch the next day.

He did not remember making out at all. To be fair, neither did you until the digital photos came back and he texted you a picture of the two of you kissing against the Beta Tau Omega insignia on the wall. You were so embarrassed you avoided him for a week after, but he quickly forced you out of your dorm for a movie night. The two of you became fast friends, bonding over silly little things and enjoying each other's company – but it didn't stop the rumors from flying that you were a freshman stealing a guy from the sophomores.

You remember that he adamantly denied any and every dating rumor flung your way, and even went as far as distancing himself from you for a bit – but when you tried to pull the same move he had earlier that year, he said maybe it was best for the two of you to remain friends from a distance. You didn't speak to him for the rest of the year, choosing to spend your time with friends your age and even dating a transfer student named Yuta Nakamoto, who was also in Soonyoung's year.

When word got around, Soonyoung was pissed – but didn't attempt to rekindle your friendship. He still followed you on Instagram, and still felt a bit of anger puddle in his stomach as he liked photo after photo of the two of you together, biting his tongue at the empty smile you held by his side.

This continued well into summer, and he saw the two of you take a trip to Jeju Island together, before breaking up the following week. Soonyoung heard from your friend, Nagyung, that he was transferring back and neither of you wanted to try long-distance.

The following school year, he watched as you got recruited by sorority after sorority – eventually joining his frat's sister sorority, Alpha Sigma Delta. You hardly had to rush, the girls actively pushing you to pledge and you were far too nice to say no.

You saw him again for the first time at the Halloween party planning, when you and your fellow pledges were tasked with helping the frat pledges in hauling in liquor. You weren't very happy about it, but Soonyoung whisked you away without a word from you, telling everyone that he needed your help with a certain task.

That task?

"Can we talk?"

And you did. You talked, and talked, and talked. He even left at one point to get drinks for the two of you, returning to you fishing through his bag of pre-rolls for the ones infused with lemon balm. He smiled, telling you they were in his car, and you rolled your eyes at it.

You kissed at that party, too. It went further this time – the two of you on Seungcheol's balcony. The idea had been to go up to the roof and get crossed, but it seems a rather tipsy Soonyoung had other ideas. You didn't mind it, in fact you encouraged it – you slipped his hand up your latex dress, you let him slip your panties down your legs.

"Hey, Hoshi! Do you have any pre-rolls?!"

Just as he'd started undoing his pants.

"Fuck, I'm sorry baby."

"It's fine."

You passed out in his bedroom that time, too tired to go back to the sorority house with your sisters. You got out of clean-up, and Soonyoung left you a kimbap roll and an electrolyte drink on his nightstand, with a note asking how you got there 'haha.'

It hadn't been fine. Again, neither of you remembered this happening until digitals were printed. And it was freshman year all over again – except this time, Soonyoung stuck around. Soonyoung defended you tooth and nail, and even dropped a few of his friends that bad-mouthed you. When you asked him about it, he shrugged, "Nothing wrong with kissing your friends every once in a while."

So, here you are. Again.

The third year in a row you and your stupid friend have made out, and somehow, you're in his bed. There's no other explanation as for why your underwear is across the room, hanging off his lamp and why his head is gently laying on your chest. There's literally no other explanation.

"Soonyoung." You rasp, patting his cheek. He doesn't stir, but pouts into your bare breast. "Soonyoung." You speak louder, shaking him slightly as he peels open one of his eyes.

"Yeah?"

It takes him a moment to realize that it's you, sprinkled with glitter from his eye look last night and practically doused in his saliva.

"Oh, fuck." He just furrows his brows, rolling off your chest with a groan. He sits up at the edge of the bed, surveying the room before realizing he's got no pants on. "Son of a bitch. Did we…Yup. Yup, it's right there."

His painted fingernails point at the discarded condom atop his dresser, flung hastily in a half-asleep attempt, most likely. You sigh, letting your head fall back on your pillow with a hmph. He does the same, his fingers only reaching up slightly to close the blinds with a jerk of the liftcord.

"You think it was good?" You ask with a small smile, and he snorts. "It was with you, I doubt it would've been bad."

Silence permeates the air again, before he sees your bare bottom half also covered in glitter. You have a tattoo on your hip that you didn't have when you first met. It's a stick-and-poke kitten. "Nice tattoo."

"Thanks, I got it on Jeju Island."

"When you and Yuta went?"

"Yup."

"Cool."

He sits up, peering down at you with tired eyes. "What'd you see in that guy, anyway?"

"Hm?"

"Yuta."

"Oh. You want the truth?"

It's like being nude in front of each other isn't a big deal. It's like having slept together after years of being in limbo means nothing. It's all so normal, the way you allow him to practically eye fuck you.

"I was sad you stopped being my friend."

He blinks at you, watching the way you carefully pick at a thread loose in his comforter. You pull it out, discarding it behind you with a soft smile. "Does that answer your question?"

"You fucked another guy because I stopped being your friend?" He asks incredulously, and you shrug. "Not just, but it was a large reason."

"You lost your virginity to him." His eyes are wide, and you shrug once more, nodding your head.

"Yup."

"Did he make you cum?"

"Soonyoung-"

"Did he?"

You sigh, patting his comforter. "Not the first couple of times, no. He got better at it, though. It was decent."

Nodding, he clears his throat.

"Do you think I-"

"Maybe. I don't know. I don't remember much, just the Pink Whitney Mingyu gave me."

"Mingyu does love his Pink Whitney."

You flip onto your back again, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling. Tucking your hands behind your head, you speak again. "Do you think I went down on you?"

"There's lipstick on my tip."

"What color?"

"Uhh…wine red."

You wipe a finger across your bottom lip, the small amount of residue a bloody, Cabernet red.

"Hm. Checks out."

The air feels…comfortable.

"Wanna shower?"

"Yeah."

"Can I shower with you?"

"Yeah, Soonie."

The two of you stretch simultaneously, before rolling to the side of the bed and standing up. He grabs the discarded condom off the dresser, holding it like a used tissue and taking it to the bin. You dig through his dresser for a towel, and he fishes out something for you to wear.

"Boxers okay?"

"Hm, I prefer briefs."

"On me or on you?"

"Your underwear choices are your business."

He holds up a pair of Spiderman briefs. You bite back your laugh and nod silently, extending your hand for them.

He disappears into his bathroom, flickering lights on and turning the shower head on. "Hot?"

"Boiling."

"Got it."

The both of you get in, and you close your eyes as the water pelts your back. Soonyoung says nothing as he moves your hair off your shoulders and away from your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"You should've asked me." He mumbles, reaching for the shampoo in the caddy behind you. Peeling your eyes open, you look up at him with a confused stare. "Asked you for what?"

He shrugs, holding the shampoo bottle upside down over his hand and squirting some out. "I would've made you cum the first time."

You snort, shoving his chest lightly. "Yeah, well…you didn't. It's fine."

"This isn't weird to you?"

"What? Showering together?"

"After fucking, yeah."

"Could be worse."

"How?"

"I could be that girl you've been flirting with since last year, wondering when you're going to text her back."

"Who? Yujin?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not flirting with her, what made you think that?"

"Stolen glances, flirty touches, you give her pre-rolls all the time."

He rolls his eyes as he cards his fingers through your hair, his dull nails scrubbing your scalp gently. Your eyes flutter shut, and he huffs. "I give everyone pre-rolls."

"Because you're a horrible business magnate."

"No, because I'm nice."

You smile without opening your eyes, your hands reaching out to touch his chest. His body feels good under your fingertips, you realize. "Are you mad you don't remember any of it?"

"Furious." He mutters, gently tilting your head back to wash the soap out. You can't see the way he's looking at the sweet slope of your neck, just barely making out small nips of his teeth across your throat. Your necklace hangs nicely.

The rest of the shower remains silent, as he carefully washes you before himself. His attention to detail is insane, the way his fingers hold the washcloth taut so he can feel every inch of you. He has to commit this to memory.

After, you're drying your hair with a random t-shirt he gave you. He remembers you told him that towels can be too rough for your hair texture sometimes. It's only when you're brushing your teeth with a brand new toothbrush he pulled from his cabinets that he speaks.

"Let me change my bedsheets."

"Don't wanna lay in the sin of fucking your friend, do ya?"

The navy blue sheets are quickly replaced by ones with light grey ditsy floral print, and his comforter is shoved off and replaced by a few throw blankets. He watches as you change his pillowcases, only looking away when he hears his phone ping.

Msg From: Cheol

[9:32am] hosh

[9:32am] who is the girl in ur room and is she missing a pair of cat ears

"What was your costume last night?" He asks, and you snort. "I was a sexy witch."

He smiles to himself as he picks up his phone.

Msg To: Cheol

[9:33am] not missing a pair of cat ears

[9:34am] and it's y/n

Your head snaps up when you hear a pair of feet thundering up the stairs, followed by silence. You give him an odd look, only to hear excited giggles down the hall and the pitter-patter of two adult men coming towards Soonyoung's room. You cross your arms as you hear the door creak open, an expectant look on your face as Jeonghan and Seungcheol's noses appear through the crack.

"Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Jeonghan remarks sweetly, and you just roll your eyes.

"He wasn't bluffing." He whispers to Seungcheol, receiving an annoyed huff from Soonyoung. "If you're done intruding on my personal business, I'd appreciate it if you left. The pledges still need to clean up last night's mess."

Jeonghan gives you a wry look. "Can I say something and you don't get upset?"

"If it's about sex, I will punch you in that pretty face of yours." You say pointedly, fluffing the pillow in your hand before throwing it onto his bed. Jeonghan purses his lips, nodding before sliding out from under Seungcheol. He nods his head, a satisfied look on his face. "Have a good…don't fuck too loud, okay?"

Soonyoung barely misses Seungcheol's face with the charger he throws across the room, his giggle being heard in the hallway as he barrels down the stairs.

"Idiots." He huffs, running a hand through his damp hair as you flop onto the bed. "You don't mind if I stay here a bit? My head's killing me."

He lays down next to you, a sigh escaping his lips.

"You okay, Soonie?"

Turning only his head, he scans your face. Tired eyes lined with thick lashes, plump lips covered by the Aquaphor in his bathroom. Slightly unkempt brows and your shoulder tattoo peeking out from the collar of his shirt on your frame.

"Kitty?"

You grimace at the pet name, one he christened you with when the two of you met. He'd been dressed up as a cowboy, and dancing with a skeleton that was stolen from the comparative anatomy students (with the help of Junhui, of course.) He also had a lit joint between his fingers, one that sprinkled ash over your newly healed shoulder tattoo and made you yelp in pain.

"Shit, I'm sorry, kitty." He quickly put it out in a nearby ashtray, dusting your shoulder of any ash residue. "It's fine, it's fine. Just…can I get a hit?"

"Yeah?"

He sits up, leaning against his bed frame before looking down at you.

"Would it be weird if I asked to try again?"

You glance up at him, an amused smile playing on your lips. "Try what again, exactly?"

He clears his throat, a beet red blush coating his cheeks. "You said Yuta didn't make you cum. And we don't know if I made you cum. So…can I have a redemption round?"

You've sat up at this point, a small laugh falling from your lips as you push your hair back, "You want to fuck me?"

"I can just go down on you, if, uh…if that's what you'd prefer." He stutters, mentally cursing himself. You glance at him, eyes scanning his face. "And we're still friends after this? You won't dump me?"

"I won't. I promise. Cross my heart, kitty." He holds his pinky finger out, insinuating you link yours. Sighing, you do just that. "Fine. Hop to, I want breakfast."

He moves to kiss you, but you give him yet another amused look. "What are you doing, Soonie?"

"...Kissing you?" He gives you a confused look, and you scoff out a laugh. "You said nothing about kissing, Kwon."

He gapes at you, "How am I supposed to connect our auras if we don't kiss? I can't get hard if I don't get kissed, you know. I can't properly engage with… her, if you don't let me kiss you." He sits back on his haunches, explaining each point to you. You bite back your laughter, nodding along.

"Sculptors start from scratch, Soonyoung. I am art, awaiting your expert touch." You shrug as he finishes his spiel, and he furrows his brows. "Fine."

Sinking down to his stomach in front of you, ringed fingers palming at your thighs. You sigh, sucking your teeth as he noses at your skin, placing kisses on your stomach.

You scoot back slightly, resting your back against his headboard. He looks up at you as you roll your eyes, beckoning him forward with your hand as you shimmy out of the stupid Spiderman briefs. "Make it fast."

"Won't take me that long, anyway." He mumbles, pushing his hair out of his face before placing a chaste kiss on your exposed slit. "How do you like it? Just tongue? Messy?"

"Whatever you want, though I'm not super into fingering at the same time." You shrug, your own carding through his shaggy locks and holding him in place. He smirks against your skin, "Don't need them."

His tongue swirls carefully around your clit, the motion far too practiced to be out of the ordinary for him. He leans into your soft gasp, the gentle buck of your hips enough to help him bury his face into your wet heat. "Spit on it." You whisper, and he does just as you ask.

The taste is tart and heady, spreading around his tongue and chin as he expertly sucks on your swollen bundle of nerves. His eyes are closed as he sloppily collects your arousal, your whines growing frustrated as he holds your hips down. "F-Faster, Soonie."

He rolls his eyes, annoyed at your inability to relax as he obnoxiously moans against you, the vibrations making you squirm. "You're so mean." You pout, feeling him smile into you. He shrugs, closing his eyes before returning to his ministrations.

He feels you shift, peeling open an eye to see your hand under your shirt, rolling your nipple through your fingers with your lip tucked between your teeth. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, using your ankle to pull you down to his level. Your eyes shoot open the moment his hands are on the hem of your (his) shirt, tugging it over your head. You're pliant, agreeing with whatever he wants to do when you feel him grab your face gently, "Can I kiss you?"

You can't bite back your smile, making him roll his eyes as he leans in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. You feel your stomach buzz a bit, feeling his half-hard cock through his boxers pressed against you. You cant your hips up softly, earning a hiss as he nips at your bottom lip.

"Thought you said you can't get hard without kissing, Soonie. Tsk, tsk." You mock him, before your fingers reach for the waistband of his boxers, snapping the elastic against his skin.

"Take them off."

He snaps his head up to look at you, eyes wide as your hand dips below the waistband, gently wrapping around his length. He sighs at your touch, before pushing the underwear down his legs with his free hand. He reaches for the nightstand, digging out the box of condoms – empty.

"Fuck." He mutters, and you turn to see the empty box being flicked across the room. "Are you clean?" You ask with a click of your tongue, and he reaches in the same drawer and pulls out a folded piece of paper, handing it to you with a blush across his cheeks.

"A week ago." He whispers, and you shrug, tossing the results – all of which were negative – to the floor and smiling up at him. "Well, go on. You have a task to complete, Kwon."

"Are you sure?" He's talking to himself, dragging the tip of his cock through your wet folds, a soft whine from your lips as he circles your clit with his thumb. "Hurry up before I change my mind and tell everyone you can't make a girl cum."

Your threat is empty, he knows – but you see the way he rolls his eyes, easing the head of his cock into your aching hole. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, your fingernails digging into his back as he slowly bottoms out.

"Fuck." He mutters into your shoulder, before sinking his teeth into your skin and giving a slow thrust. A choked moan from your lips is his reward, as he sets a slow pace and drags his teeth across your chest. Your nails drag down his back gently as his tongue swirls around your nipple, making you whimper.

"Soonie.." Your whine is cut off by his hand across your mouth. "Don't, I'll cum." He admits against your chest, making you snort slightly. Your hand wraps around his wrist, pulling it off your mouth as you lean up to capture his lips in yours. It's sloppy but you don't care, feeling him roll his hips into yours slowly as your tongue slips into his mouth.

His whine into your mouth is nothing if not pitiful (read: hot.) Your laugh slips out as he readjusts his hold on you, folding your legs to your chest and fucking into you deeper. The new angle makes you let out a choked moan, his lips dragging along your jawline as he bullies his cock into you. 

It's almost like you can feel pride seeping through his pores as you whine into his skin, feeling his lips curl into a smile against your shoulder as he bites down softly. You're sure he's determined to ruin you for anyone else, his hand slipping between the two of you to toy with your clit.  The mix of sounds in his bedroom is obscene, but nothing is more embarrassing than the two of you jumping simultaneously when someone bangs on his door. Your hand flies over your mouth as they shout for you two to keep it down, making Soonyoung laugh, the tips of his ears turning pink as you clench around him. Your tummy starts to fill with warmth, the band threatening to snap as he peels your hand off your mouth for a searing kiss.

It's enough for the two of you to whimper, your fingers moving to curl into his hair, feeling the white-hot heat of your orgasm coursing through your body. He groans into your lips, and you can feel him fighting himself as he pulls out, his cum painting the stupid kitty tattoo on your hip.

The two of you are silent as you regain your composure, the room filled with soft pants as you brush your hair off your face. He clears his throat, and you almost instinctively roll your eyes as his question breaks the tension.

"On a scale of one to ten–" "I am not rating your stroke game, this is not RateMyDick.com."

His face buries into your neck, his breath warm against your skin as he scoffs out a laugh. Your fingernails trail lightly along his neck, his lips pressing soft kisses to your shoulders before he pushes off you.

"Pancakes?" He tilts his head, making you snort. "Are you paying?" "Fuck no, we can make Cheol buy." He scoffs, and you laugh fully this time. "Do you think Cheol feels like buying me the greasiest patty melt he can find?" "Whatever you want, kitty." He kisses the tip of your nose, making you scrunch it while pushing his head away. "That tickles, stop. Now get off me, I feel the need to spend Cheol's trustfund on food that will knock me out." He just smiles as he lifts himself off you, sliding off the bed in the direction of his bathroom. You can't help but feel a bit of anxiety pool in your lower belly, hearing the faucet running slowly before he reappears. You quickly smile, "You okay?" "Are you?" He echoes, his hand reaches for your thigh as he wipes you down gently with a damp washcloth. "Yeah, m'fine." He doesn't look convinced, giving you a raise of his brows as he tosses the washcloth to the side, offering his hand to help you sit up. When you do, he grabs the shirt you'd been wearing and carefully pulls it over your head – and if he feels the willful stare of your eyes on him, he says nothing about it.

"Are you having regrets?" He murmurs, reaching for the underwear he let you borrow. You sigh inwardly, shaking your head. "No. Just…it's silly."

"It's not silly, whatever it is you're feeling. We're friends, kitty. You can tell me." He shrugs, helping you up off the bed and leading you to the bathroom. "You're not gonna watch me pee, are you?" You tease, and he snorts.

"Do you want me to?" "Get out." He does. He shuts the door behind him, leaving the briefs on the sink. You sigh quietly, willing the negative thoughts away. You don't regret it, no – but it feels like your slight game of cat-and-mouse has ended. He's caught you, sunk his teeth into you and now you're dead.

You reach for the briefs, pulling them over your ankles and up to your knees while you sit. You hear him rustling around, before hearing the door to his room open and shut. A wave of sadness flows over you, and you wonder if he really meant it. That he wouldn't leave this time – he hadn't last year, after he took your underwear off in Seungcheol's room (and stuffed the pair of pink panties in his pocket – something you never heard the end of when Jeonghan found out they were yours.) Sighing once more, you finish your business, tossing the toilet paper in the can and amp yourself up as you wash your hands. "No big deal, Y/N. Friends fuck all the time. Right?" You hear the door to his room open again, and you turn the water off, shaking the excess water off your hands as you open the bathroom door. He glances up at you, holding a tray with a pitcher of water and electrolyte packets.

"You like watermelon, right? It's the only flavor we have left."  He says, and you nod quietly. "Yeah, that's fine."  

Flopping back onto his bed, you cover your bottom half with one of the throw blankets as he portions out the electrolytes. You reach over and open his nightstand drawer, fishing through for his Advil.

"Bottoms up." He hands you your glass, and you pop open the cap. "Yum, ibuprofen electrolyte cocktail." You mutter, shoving two in his hand before popping your own in your mouth.

The two of you clink glasses before chugging, mirroring each other's grimaces as you finish the liquid. He scrunches his nose, sliding the glass on the nightstand before laying back and moving like a worm to slide in next to you.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks, grabbing his phone from in between the blankets and opening the Doordash app. You don't respond, opting to pull the blanket a little higher as you rest your head on his shoulder. He scrolls through mindlessly, before finding your favorite breakfast spot. The two of you found it during the summer, when neither of you went home and decided to take summer classes. You wound up taking Seungcheol's room while he went home with his girlfriend.

You don't like the wave of sadness you feel suddenly.

He's your friend. One could even say he's one of your best friends. What if this was a mistake?

You feel tears prick at your eyes.

"Can you hold me?" You murmur, and he doesn't even stop to think as he shuts his phone off and pulls you into him, his hand curling into the nape of your neck. His fingernails are lightly scratching at your scalp as he wraps himself around you, allowing you to snuggle into his chest. "I'm scared, Hosh."

You can't hold back the sniffle at that, but you can feel him tuck you further into his embrace. "I won't leave. I promise, I promise you I won't leave." He whispers, and you can hear the waver in his voice. He tries to mask it, pressing soft kisses to your hairline.

"What if this ruins our friendship?" You ask thickly, and you can feel him shake his head above you. "It won't. I won't let it. We can't let it."

He pulls back, his thumb coming to wipe under your eyes carefully. "I don't think I ever told you what I did when we stopped talking that year." "No," You laugh softly, reaching up to wipe his own face. "You didn't." "I slept with like six people that year." He scrunches his nose, before his eyes go wide. "No, five and a half."

"Half?" You question, and he nods. "Does it count? Like, if she went down on me but then her roommate walked in on us and she was too embarrassed to keep going?" "I think so?" "Okay, so six." "You're a slut." "Sue me, I was filling a void." He scoffs, and you just shake your head at him. "You could've just talked to me."

If he’s aware of your hypocrisy, he says nothing. "I am a flawed man, kitty. I have too much pride to admit my mistakes." He sighs, pushing your hair out of your face. "Yet here we are." You say pointedly, making him roll his eyes.

"Anyway, I don't regret this…us." He gestures between the two of you, before clearing his throat. "But, we don't have to speak about it, like, ever again if you do. It'll be like it never happened." Sighing, you roll onto your back, still pressed tightly against his torso. "That never works. I mean, Cheol and Hannie know, now, too." You scrunch your nose a bit at the idea of your friends' relentless teasing awaiting, but he shrugs. 

"Cheol owes me for that time I helped him replace his bed frame after Sowon broke it. I still can't believe they're dating, but it makes their chaos like, ten times worse." He groans, and you snicker. "Are we sure it wasn't Seungcheol who broke it? Last I heard, he's a freak." "He probably did, he had a bit of bruising around his wrists and there were cuffs attached to the bedposts." He says pointedly, before the two of you glance at each other quickly.

"No." He tongues his cheek to stop himself from smiling. "I didn't say anything." "You're thinking about it, Soonyoung. Stop it." "You literally let me cum on you."

You grimace up at him, and he snorts. “Sorry.”

“Just order the food, my stomach is about to start eating itself.” You roll your eyes, smacking him when you both feel his phone buzz. He grabs it, and you once more feel your stomach sink.

Msg From: choi yujin [10:49am] hey hoshi…r u busy? can i come over?

“Yikes.” He mutters, and you push the covers off. “I can go—”

“Shut up. Lay down.” He yanks your arm, making you fall back onto the pillows as he messages her back with one hand.

Msg From: choi yujin [10:50am] i am yeah [10:51am] let’s set a date to talk

“What if she wants to dump you?” You ponder aloud, watching as he reopens the Doordash app and adds your food to the cart. He shrugs, selecting an order of french toast. “Then she dumps me. I should care, right?” 

You just snort, making him smile inwardly as he wraps his arm around you. 

The two of you let your eyes eat, ordering little things and ignoring messages from Yujin. You feel bad, really, because Yujin is a sweet girl and your friend is a bit of an airhead at times.

“I’ll go get it when it’s here.” He yawns, stretching slightly and rebounding to wrap himself around you. “Or, we can bribe Mingyu with that order of eggs benedict we did not need to order.”

“Ha, true.” He nods, shooting a text to the man before tossing his phone behind him. “And kitty?”

“Yes, Soonie?”

“Thank you for trusting me.”

You glance down at him, noting the way his eyes are slightly heavy. You hold in your sigh — carding your fingers through blond locks. “Any time, Soonie.”

PRESENT DAY — November 4th.

Unfortunately (for your achey, breaky heart) — Soonyoung took ‘any time’ literally.

You’d gone home later that afternoon, reluctantly prying yourself from Soonyoung’s arms and wiping a bit of syrup from his french toast off your lip. Not at all put there from him kissing you.

No way.

The two of you had fallen into a bit of a lockstep — he’d decided to add another semester to his schedule, admitting he felt overwhelmed by his classes. You were just happy you’d have your friend around for a bit longer, and most of the other frat brothers felt the same.

However, with great sacrifice comes great responsibility — Soonyoung had a lot of free time, and you were only taking four classes a semester as it was. He would come over to your room at the sorority house, bring you dinner and help you study, and somehow the two of you would end up on your bed with his tongue between your legs. Or with his dick in your throat. Or, a fancier third option — turning the stereo on and fucking like rabbits.

Your housemates learned to hate Novacane by Frank Ocean.

But without fail, this happened at least once a week. Neither of you mentioned it after, with him leaving the next morning with a chaste kiss to your lips and a murmured have a good day, kitty. 

Your sorority sisters grew curious, and you admitted to them that the two of you were just fucking around. When word of this got around — because humans love to gossip — Soonyoung came over and the two of you sat down to discuss the dynamics of your…situationship.

And nothing changed.

The two of you admitted to each other that it was odd to behave like this. You were the first to confess that it helped you get your mind off things when you were stressed, to which he agreed. It ended with the two of you agreeing to resort to these meetups once or twice a week — and with him fucking his dick into you so slowly, you cried.

Granted, these meetups did not stop over the summer. Neither of you went home, once more opting to stay on campus for summer courses. This time, though — most of the brothers had gone home, and the two of you could not keep your hands off each other. You reminded yourself to still have to apologize to Chan for fucking in his room.

Not that Soonyoung didn’t already take the brunt of Chan’s wrath, but it was beyond you now.

This being said, your tradition of fucking around on Halloween had been upheld this year — but to the point where when you arrived, Mingyu did not offer you his bottle of Pink Whitney because Soonyoung had gotten you your own. You’d laughed, and Mingyu pouted as the two of you drank together.

Soonyoung found you a little after midnight, and you were barely tipsy when he whispered in your ear, asking if you wanted to go up to the roof. You nodded, putting your cowgirl hat on a rather mopey Mingyu — linking your pinkies with Soonyoung’s as he pulled you upstairs.

The two of you hadn’t seen each other much that week, because you had midterms. He offered you a hit of his joint before grabbing your jaw gently and using it as leverage to kiss you.

That night felt different — he took a bit longer to take your clothes off, he kissed you all over. Not that he didn’t normally do that, but it seemed as though he was trying to absorb you fully. You blamed it on the weed, but let him worship you on the roof of his frat house. 

You’d been on top for most of it — he doesn’t usually prefer it that way, Soonyoung was a missionary man through and through. You had noticed his glassy eyes as he ran his hands all over your body, and you asked him twice if he was okay. He nodded, kissing you both times before flipping you onto your back. He’d carried you back down to his room after you finished, locking his door behind him and running a shower for the two of you.

It gave you déjà vu.

That was a week ago. You hadn’t seen Soonyoung since, but a part of you didn’t mind the space. You’d felt a bit more that night, but you just blamed it on the Pink Whitney.

“Hey, pretty.” You look up, seeing Minghao walking towards you with a bag in his hand. The two of you had this study session in the back corner of the library every few days, but neither of you cared to admit that it was just an excuse to gossip together and watch America’s Next Top Model.

“Hey, Hao. How’re you?” You ask coolly, before making a show of opening your laptop and opening Hulu, pressing on ANTM and lowering the volume to mute. He snorts, opening the bag and sliding your portion on the table. “I’m good, pretty. However, I do have some intel from a little bird.”

He looks at you pointedly, and you scoff as you open your food. Inhaling deeply, you sigh before stabbing your fork into the pasta. You shrug, “Okay. What’s your intel?”

“That you and Hoshi fucked on the roof, and there’s photos of you making out.” He bites into a breadstick, and you roll your eyes. “There have been photos of us making out every year. This is nothing new.”

“I’m just saying. None of the photos in years past have had his hands under your shirt so shamelessly.” He shrugs, and you furrow your brow. “Hands under my shirt??”

You had worn a latex halter top. You’d never taken it off, and he’d only moved it aside when the two of you were on the roof to get a full view. “Yeah, you were a sexy cop, right? It’s all over the stupid underground site.”

You glance at him, wiping cream sauce off your lip. “I was a cowgirl, Minghao. I even put my hat on Mingyu.”

His eyes are wide as he chews, before his brows furrow and he gestures at the laptop.

You pause the muted show, shoving your fork into your plate before typing in the website. BetaTOU.com had been a domain purchased by the frat president from twelve years ago so they could share photos without being bitched at by the university. It was also a forum for complaints and suggestions. Everything was neatly kept and tagged with dates to stay organized, and if you wanted any photos taken down they were removed within the hour.

You scroll carefully, eyeing every photo of the frat brothers posted from last week. Mingyu wearing your hat is amongst the first few, and a back shot of you and Soonyoung with your pinkies linked walking up the stairs is right after it. You know it’s you, you can see the bracelet he gave you for your birthday dangling on your wrist.

You keep scrolling — Minghao doing a keg stand, Chan and Seokmin playing beer pong (and Chan getting Iced by Jihoon), and Vernon making out with two girls at once. Slut.

You begin to nibble on your fingernails as you scroll further, finally landing on a photo of Soonyoung and Yujin making out in front of one of the bathrooms at the Beta Tau house. You scoff out a laugh, her hat on his head and his hands, yup, under her shirt.

“Sexy cop, meet a big, fat liar.” You scowl, closing the laptop and jerking back in your chair, pulling your knees up to balance your takeout plate on. Minghao peers at you, watching as you angrily shovel pasta into your mouth. “Slow down, pretty. You’ll choke and I don’t know first aid.”

Shaking your head, “We literally fucked that night, Hao. That had to have happened before, because I literally showered and spent the night in his room.” 

If he notes the hurt in your voice, he doesn’t mention it. He sighs instead, shaking his head before his hand finds your limp one in your lap. “Are you guys exclusive?”

“No.” You answer quickly, trying to shrug it off as he squeezes your hand lightly. “Don’t do that, obviously you have feelings for him, Y/N.”

“I do not.” You refute. “And even if I did, there are too many negative factors to being in a relationship with him.”

“Like what?” Minghao rolls his eyes, making you scoff.

“Like the fact that he hasn’t spoken to me all week? Like the fact that he’s a whore?” You say all of this like it’s common knowledge, and Minghao gives you an amused look.

“Not as much as Vernon.”

“Not relevant, Hao.”

Minghao shrugs, sitting back as he tears another piece of his breadstick off. You pout, letting go of his hand the moment you hear your phone buzz on the table. Reaching for it, you hand it to Minghao without a second glance.

“It’s Hoshi.”

“Read it and let me know if I should answer.”

Msg From: Soonyoung 🐯🩷

[4:32pm] kitty [4:34pm] please don’t be upset [4:35pm] can we talk? i can swing by the house tonight?

You roll your eyes, hating the way your nose burns as tears gather in your eyes.

Okay. You weren’t dumb.

You knew you’d catch feelings eventually. It was inevitable — Soonyoung was a good fuck, of course, but…something was different. He was sweet, he was doting and attentive. He soon learned your favorite flavor of electrolytes were never ones the frat kept in stock because Mingyu finished them all, so he bought you your own stash for his bedroom. He invited you to the dance class he taught, urging you to go and watch him dance to Fergalicious with the older women who lived in your college town.

Grimacing at your inner monologue, you reach for your phone from Minghao.

Msg To: Soonyoung 🐯🩷 [4:38pm] why would i be upset [4:39pm] and no, i’ve got things i need to do tonight. sorry.

“The guy is definitely gonna agonize over this tonight.” Minghao mentions, making a smoking motion with his fingers. It makes you crack a smile, and you turn your phone on silent before opening the laptop again, switching back to your show and pressing play.

The two of you avoid your Advanced Calculus work on the table, watching as students file in and out of the library — most of them eyeing your plates of takeout before finding a seat.

You can’t help but think about the photo of Soonyoung and Yujin. You’d never had anything against Yujin, and you never would — it made no sense to resent her when Soonyoung is the one who owed you loyalty.

Not that he actually did, anyway — the two of you were not exclusive. You’d been the one to bring it up. He simply set that in place, sending you his STD panel results every few weeks. 

You didn’t have to do the same. You didn’t fuck anyone but him.

Minghao walks you home, the two of you filling the air with chatter of missing Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua. The three had graduated, but had come to the Beta Tau Halloween party to visit. All in tow with their girlfriends, of which Joshua’s was still a student at the University and a part of your sorority — Sana Minatozaki.  

“Can we do Thai next week? I know your birthday is on Thursday, and I’m sure you don’t wanna spend it with me.” You snort as you reach the front of the house, seeing Momo and Yerin sitting on the steps with ice cream in their hands. They wave at Minghao, who waves back.

“Nonsense, pretty. It’s a Thursday and I’m tired of parties.” He yawns, stretching slightly. You snicker, giving him a one-armed hug as you bid your goodbye. He doesn’t leave as you trek up the stairs, greeting your sorority sisters as you yank open the front door.

Sighing, you let a bit of emotion take over as a few tears trickle down your face. You jog up the stairs, slipping your sweater off and hanging it on the coat rack by the handrail on the third floor. You wipe at your face, annoyed at the sinking feeling of your heart as you toe your shoes off, shoving them on the shelf by the coat rack.

“Shower. That’s what I need.” You murmur, heading down the hallway to your room. Your door is slightly ajar, but you figure one of your sisters must’ve gone in to borrow something. You get closer, flinging the door open when you reach it and seeing Soonyoung sitting at the foot of your bed with a bag in his hands.

You blink at him, noting the redness in his ears as he takes you in. Neither of you speak, and he watches as you slide your bag into your desk chair, unpacking your belongings onto your desk where they usually go. He stares as you take a sip from your water bottle, before leaning against your desk, arms crossed.

“I can explain.” He starts, and you tongue your cheek. “Explain what? Maybe why you’re in my bedroom? I did say I was busy, Soonyoung.”

“Don’t do that, don’t be mad.” He whines at the sound of his name, and you furrow your brows. “I’m not mad, dude. What are you on?”

“It was a mistake, okay? I was looking for you and she—” You cut him off with a hand in the air, the words you know he hates to hear slipping from your lips.

“We’re not exclusive, Soonyoung. You can kiss whoever you want, you can fuck whoever you want. As long as you keep getting tested and it comes back clean, I don’t care.” You lie through your teeth, and he stands, putting the bag on your desk. You see his hands clench slightly around nothing as they reach his sides.

“I’m still sorry.” He murmurs, and you roll your eyes. Shaking your head, you begin to slip your shirt over your head. “I’m gonna shower. Feel free to stay, or go. I don’t care.”

“Okay.” He flops back on your bed, and you walk into your bathroom silently. Turning the water on, you strip and step inside, basking in the heat of the steam.

What were the two of you really doing? He was going to be the teacher’s assistant in your Zoology class next semester. You couldn’t really risk people thinking you were fucking him for your grades — it would put both of you at risk.

Professor Kwon was also a notoriously absent teacher, with her TAs from the past saying she was rarely in class. However, complaints resulted in simply receiving a large sum of money from her at the end of the year — and you found out through Soonyoung that Professor Kwon was married to the Dean.

And how does Soonyoung know that?

Professor Kwon is his aunt. She trusted that Soonyoung would be able to take over the class because he wasn’t particularly squeamish, and she knew all about his bad habit of sneaking stray kittens into dorm rooms. And his bad habit of being high as fuck — not that she was any better, though her vice was vacations, not weed.

He was smart, Soonyoung. You knew he was — his transcript was full of advanced math and science classes, and you saw one B in the extensive packet. Yes, a packet. 

He took Zoology last year, even if it wasn’t part of his major. When you think of it, you don’t even really know what his major is — he just does whatever for the sake of it. It’s like he’s only really here to be entertained — and you don’t blame him.

Your passion for animals is also something that brought you and Soonyoung together. While he cared about the ones in the more vegetative biodomes — savannahs, tropical rainforests…the like. You, on the other hand, were one with the water — you loved fish, cephalopods, crustaceans. You had a small angelfish tattoo on your ankle, one Soonyoung constantly kissed if you were in missionary.

The two of you bonded over documentaries, even if the night ended with the two of you fooling around. You remember the night you watched Aliens of The Deep — you tied him to your radiator because he wouldn’t stop grinding his dick against your ass. You fucked him after, sure, but James Cameron deserved to have his documentary cherished.

Wringing your hair out of excess water, you step out of the shower, grabbing your towel off the rack and wrapping it around yourself. Opening the door, you see Soonyoung lying on your bed with his eyes closed, earphones plugged into his phone. As you lean closer, you hear a song reminiscent of Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry.

Snorting, you nudge his leg with your foot, making him peel his eyes open. He pulls out one of the earphones, “Yes?”

“What are you doing? Why are you listening to Fergie?” You ask, moving past him to rummage your dresser for underwear. He sighs, “Because I feel bad.”

“Soonyoung, you kissed Yujin. It’s not the end of the world.” You say pointedly, feeling him get up and crowd your space. You feel his lips press to your damp shoulder, “You say that, but I feel like I betrayed you or something.”

Scoffing, you turn, tucking the corner of your towel under your armpit. “You fuck plenty of other girls. Why is kissing Yujin any different?”

“I only kiss you.” He says, making you roll your eyes. “I’m supposed to believe you?”

“Yes. I only kiss you when we fuck. I only kiss you in general. I don’t kiss the other girls, not that there have been many since this started.” He states matter-of-factly, and you struggle not to roll your eyes again. “You send me your STD results every few weeks, Soonyoung. That means there are other girls.”

“There hasn’t been for a few months. I just get tested regularly because it’s a habit. And they give me free condoms and lube so I save money.” He shrugs, making you scoff out a laugh.

“Soonyoung—”

“Stop, I don’t like it when you call me that.”

You eye him, “That’s your name.” 

He shakes his head, “Not to you, it’s not. You only call me that when you’re mad.” His fingers push your hair off your face, and it takes all your willpower not to lean into his touch. He notices your internal struggle, curling his fingers around the shell of your ear, playing with your piercings carefully.

“I don’t want you to see other people.” He blurts, making your eyes go wide before you furrow your brows. Crossing your arms across your chest, you frown. “You see other people.”

“Then punish me for it. I’ll even let you tie me to the radiator again.” He’s flushing beet red, his hand now toying with a loose thread on your towel. It’s oddly reminiscent of your first (or…second) time together. “I’ll even leave you alone for a few weeks, if you want. I won’t fuck anyone else, either.”

You feel a bit taken aback at his offers, knowing that Soonyoung wouldn’t bring any of it up if he didn’t truly feel as though he’d wronged you. “Soonyoung, I really mean it. I’m not upset.”

You’re lying, but you also know his form of apologizing is just way too sincere. You can’t, in good faith, let him simmer in the guilt any longer. Probably why he didn’t speak to you for a week.

He doesn’t reply, opting to glance at the corner of your towel. He reaches for it, his eyes meeting yours as if asking for permission. You blink in response, untucking the towel on your own accord. He hesitates as his knuckles brush the skin of your hips, making you shiver. The towel drops as he leans in to kiss you, and you notice you don’t mind the slightly chapped lips.

He kisses you deeply, like he wants you to know his innermost feelings. His arm circles around your waist, pulling you flush to him as his other hand holds your face gingerly. “I’m sorry, kitty.” He murmurs against your lips, not bothering to allow you to respond as he reconnects your lips, walking backwards towards your bed.

His knees hit the edge of the bed, and he sits, pulling you onto his lap. The soft material of his sweatpants tented up around his cock, brushing against your center as you lean the two of you back, his back hitting your comforter. He maneuvers the two of you fully onto the bed, his head resting against your pillows as you lick into his mouth. His fingers circle your upper thighs, urging you to lift yourself up.

“What’s wrong?” You scan his eyes, feeling him push you further, your hands now on either side of his head. “I wanna show you how sorry I am. Sit on my face, suffocate me.”

You hadn’t done this yet. He’d asked in sessions past, but you’d been a bit hesitant. “What about you, though? I don’t—”

“Don’t worry about me.” He kisses you softly again, fingers tapping the backs of your thighs to urge you higher. “Are you sure?”

“If I die, I die happy.” He shrugs, and you sigh as you inch up, before grabbing your headboard for moral support. You sink down slowly, feeling his nose bump your clit slightly. You hover for a moment, hearing him sigh before pulling you down the rest of the way.

His tongue is flat against your pussy, making you shiver and clench around nothing. He licks at you with precision, gathering your arousal before wrapping his lips around your clit with a soft suck. You bite back a whine, your hips grinding against his face involuntarily. He moans against you, digging his dull nails into your hips.

You continue rocking against him, soft moans from your lips as he eagerly takes whatever you give him. Your fingers card through his hair, tugging gently as you feel the heat start to pool in your belly. His hand wanders up, skilled fingers rolling your nipple between them at the same pace of your clit being swirled by his tongue.

“Soonie—” You whimper, canting your hips a little faster as he runs his hands all over your body, groaning against your pussy. Your thighs clench around his head as you cum, feeling slightly overstimulated as his tongue fucks into you slowly. You try to get up, but your shaky legs betray you as Soonyoung pulls you back down, the slurping sound from his mouth obscene as you twitch in his hold. “S’too much…”

Pushing his head back, you pry yourself out of his hold, shakily settling yourself next to him. You take a glance at him, his eyes closed as the back of his hand wipes his mouth. “Am I forgiven?”

“You were never in trouble, Soonie.” You roll your eyes, flopping your head against his shoulder. He scoffs, “You’re my best friend. I’m pretty sure I can tell when you’re upset with me.”

Hearing you huff, he knows he’s right. He smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You don’t need to finish?” You murmur, eyeing the strain of his cock against his sweatpants.

He shakes his head, “I don’t deserve it right now. I hurt you, and that was shitty of me.”

You sigh. “So what does this mean?”

“It means I want to be exclusive. You’re the only girl I hang out with, anyway.” He shrugs, a pained look on his face as adjusts himself in his pants. You feel some guilt settle in your stomach at this, and you shake your head. “I don’t think we should keep doing this, actually.”

He glances down at you, before you sit up and slide off your bed. You move back to your dresser, digging out random clothes and pulling them on as he stares.

“What?”

“I want to focus on school.” You wince as the sentence slips past your lips. It wasn’t a lie, you did want to — but it was also because he’d be your TA next semester. Better to cut the cord now than continue to put yourselves at risk of being found out.

“So you’re…what? Are we still friends?”

You look over at him, an obviously hurt expression on his face as he brings his knees to his chest. “Of course we’re still friends, Soonie.”

He nods, tonguing his cheek as he stands up. “Sure thing. I’m sorry if my expectations made you uncomfortable.” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes as he grabs his shoes at the door, and you blink at him.

“You’re not…You’re leaving?” You gape, and he gives you a quizzical look. “What, did you want to cuddle?”

It doesn’t have any malice behind it. His tone is level, it’s friendly. But you can’t help and feel a bit small at his words. He gives you a curt nod. “I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

And he closes the door behind him. You scoff out a breath, feeling a tear spill down your cheek as you run your hands through your hair. It’s still damp at the roots, and you just shake your head to yourself as you remember the bag he set on your desk.

You click your tongue at it, before ripping it open. It’s a Jellycat octopus in blue and a handmade card. It has doodles of fish all over it in colored pencil, and an angelfish holding a badly drawn tiger in the corner. You open it to see his handwriting messily scrawled across the cardstock.

Hi, Kitty.

I assume by this point you’ve seen the photos on BTOU, and I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you all week. I saw them on Wednesday morning right when I was going to leave to ask if you wanted to get breakfast with me, so I made the dumbass decision to just ghost entirely. It was an asshole move and I’m sorry.

I did want to talk to you, though. And it’s totally fine if you don’t agree, I just figured I’d give it a shot?

The two of us are…relatively close. I mean, I can’t think of anyone I trust more than you…you’ve seen me in various stages of my life. Uhm, I’m not ready for a relationship but I’m also unsure if we’re on the same page about that, so I wanted to ask if we could, for the rest of the year, make this an exclusive…situation? I don’t see other people and neither do you?

I guess that’s like dating. We can talk about it more in person, if you want. Maybe we can come to a consensus and I don’t know. But you get me, right? You always get me.

Anyway. I’m sorry. And I hope you’ll accept this card and the little octopus guy as a token of my sincere appreciation for you. I named him Inky Minaj, but feel free to change it.

Yours (hopefully),

Hoshi ♡🐯

You don’t realize you’re crying until you see a tear drop right onto his doodle of a tiger next to his name. The octopus stares back at you, and you sniffle as you put it on your bed.

This is for the best. It has to be. Kwon Soonyoung cannot like you and you cannot like him.

January 13th.

“Hello, everyone! I am Professor Kwon, and this is Zoology!”

The dreaded class was finally here.

You and Soonyoung were a bit awkward at first — sure, the initial sting of rejection made him distance himself a bit, but he got over it pretty quickly. He came over to the house often, bringing takeout with him and new documentaries he’d rented from the university’s library. He always stayed at least a foot away from you — in early December, he’d accidentally kissed you in greeting, leading the rest of the hangout to be full of unresolved tension.

So much so that he left early.

Aside from that incident, it was like the two of you had never seen each other naked. You both scrunched your noses at your friends’ jabs, leaving them with confused looks. Minghao was the one to tell the frat brothers the news that the two of you were no longer sleeping together.

Minghao also knew that you had a raging heart boner for Soonyoung. He was all you’d talked about in the passing weeks — Minghao even subjected his family to your babble about Soonyoung when he answered your FaceTime calls over winter break. He sighed as you droned on about the man, but allowed it anyway.

“This is my Teacher’s Assistant, Kwon Soonyoung. You will be seeing more of him than of me this year, I have a very crammed schedule. This being said, Soonyoung will go through the syllabus with you and the first lesson of the semester. I will be here on Wednesday, so don’t fret! You still get to have one-on-one time with me.” Professor Kwon smiles, and you glance at Soonyoung, who is already looking at you. You raise your brows, and he shrugs, making a smoking motion.

He’s stoned.

Professor Kwon bids her goodbyes, leaving a very stoned Soonyoung to take over her class. A few girls in the front (that you don’t recognize) are giggling as he passes out the paper syllabus.

“Kitty.” He murmurs with a soft smirk as he slides your paper on your desk, and you scowl. “Shut up.”

He just smiles as he starts walking around and talking about the syllabus — how you can only miss six classes this semester but if you’re nice, he’ll count you present anyway. How his favorite lesson is the one about the three-spined stickleback fish, and how it’s refreshed at least three or four times throughout the course. He talks about how he fully believes that the Bubonic Plague was an experiment made by the government to kill innocent rodents and that his office hours are generally whenever, just shoot me an email.

The class wraps up rather quickly, with Soonyoung assigning reading based on the ethology of geese. You snort at it, hiking your bag over your shoulder as everyone starts to file out. He grabs your elbow as you walk past him, earning a few looks from the girls who had been giggling earlier — and drapes his arm over your shoulders as the two of you saunter out together.

“What the fuck was that for?” You ask as he walks the both of you towards your place, and he shrugs. “They were staring a little hard.”

“What, so I’m your saving grace?” You roll your eyes, but don’t push him away as he tucks you further into his chest. Soonyoung had always been touchy, so you didn’t care. “Of course. I don’t want to deal with a bunch of sophomores hitting on me.”

“Oh, because Kwon Soonyoung, frat boy and resident weed dealer is sooo desirable.” You mock, and he snorts. “I mean, you fucked me for a year, I would hope I’m desirable.”

You elbow him right in the ribs, making him let out a pained noise as he smacks your arm lightly. “What’d you do that for?! I’m not wrong!”

“Whatever! Anyway, are you going to the stoplight party this weekend? We’re hosting.” You ask, fishing your phone out of your pocket to send him the invite. “Oh, I’m not sure. I'm gonna take Seungkwan out for dinner on Thursday, and I’m probably hanging out with Luda on Saturday.”

He stretches, and you feel your stomach sink.

Lee Luda was what the campus referred to as a frat sweetheart. Her family had a huge legacy of going to SNU, and her father actually owned the property where the Alpha Psi Delta fraternity house was built. She was very close with the entire fraternity and had been involved in their charity and party planning since she was a freshman, her ex-boyfriend being a junior and her brother a senior when she was elected.

She was very sweet, very smart and extremely pretty. You'd gotten to know her a bit last year, she was a Biology major and you shared a lot of the same courses.

“Oh. They’re throwing a birthday party for Juyeon, right?” You nod as he does the same, before looping your arms together. “Come on, I’ll treat you to lunch and you can tell me how good I did on my first day as your TA.”

“What is it with you and ratings?”

He just laughs, pulling you closer again. You pretend your cheeks don’t burn at the proximity and the soft scent of his cologne.

January 18th.

It seemed the first week back from holidays really did a number on the student body — nearly everyone who came to the stoplight party hosted by your sorority was white-girl wasted. Seungkwan profusely cried over the little cupcake you presented him, apologizing for his birthday being on a Thursday. He took it and you later found him with strawberry frosting all over his chin and mouth.

It was well past two in the morning, and the party was still going pretty strong. You, Momo and Yerin were running around topping off drinks and manning stations, and you had sent Chan and Minghao to get more liquor from the store down the road. They were the only sober ones amongst the Beta Tau brothers, and Mingyu was dancing on the coffee table with Wonwoo and Jun — all of them wasted off Pink Whitney.

That damn Pink Whitney.

You roll your eyes as you clean up, humming along to Kid Cudi when you sense a disturbance in the force.

“Hey!” You hear someone shout over the music, and you turn to see Soonyoung, Luda and Juyeon next to you. Soonyoung and Luda have grabbed yellow cups, and Juyeon has a red one. You see a few more of the Delta brothers stroll in behind them, helping themselves to the alcohol on your table.

“Hey! What’re you guys doing here? I thought you were celebrating Juyeon!” You shout back, and Luda shrugs. “Yeah, well Sangyeon and Hyunjae said you guys were having a stoplight! You don’t mind, right? Hyunjae said you were cool!”

You shake your head, gesturing to the bottles. “Not at all! Help yourselves, but Minghao and Chan should be back soon with more Malibu and Svedka.”

Luda gives you a cheery smile and grabs for the Everclear, and you bid the men behind her a quick goodbye as you continue into the kitchen to clean up. You grimace at the sight of vomit in the corner by your pantry, and you open your fridge to get out some baking soda when you see Soonyoung’s feet in front of you.

You glance up at him, seeing a quizzical look as you grab the baking soda. “What’s up, Hosh?” You ask, before squatting by the vomit to sprinkle the baking soda on it.

“You’re wearing red!” He says, gesturing to your red dress. You look down at the dress you were wearing — you’d bought it last year, and wore it to his birthday dinner. He’d stared at you the entire evening before dragging you out to his car and fucking you in the parking lot.

Safe to say that neither of you went back into the restaurant.

“Oh, this? I just don’t feel like flirting tonight.” You shrug, and he leans against the counter when you speak again. “You have a yellow cup! Why?”

“Seeing someone here and there.” He shrugs, and you nod, choosing to swallow your questions. When the fuck did he even find the time?

“Nice!” You exclaim, putting the wet sign over the vomit and deciding to deal with it later. You stand, tugging your dress down your legs a bit more before giving him a curt nod and exiting the kitchen.

Minghao and Chan had arrived and helped Yerin and Momo haul in the liquor, stacking it across the table in the dining area. Hyunjae and Sangyeon had joined Vernon, Jihoon and Seokmin in playing beer pong on the second floor, and you hauled ass up the stairs to join in. Vernon is holding a lit joint between his fingers as he makes the bitch cup, a scowl on his face as Sangyeon chuckles.

“Hey, Vern. Can I take a hit?” You tap his shoulder, and he hands it to you before ruffling your hair. “Hey, pretty. Why’re you here? Not having fun downstairs?”

“Shut up and drink your bitch cup.” You roll your eyes, and he smirks as he downs the cup. He rearranges his cups into a different shape, and Sangyeon sinks a few as you finish off Vernon’s spliff.

“Damn, what’s got you so stressed out?” He asks, taking what's left and popping it between his lips. “Ugh, nothing. I’m just annoyed.” You roll your eyes as their game ends, and you grab a few beer cans to start a new one.

“I didn’t know you were dating someone, Y/N!” You hear Hyunjae call from the end of the table, and you just smile and shake your head. “I’m not! I just don’t feel like dry humping a stranger tonight.”

“I’m not a stranger.” Sangyeon says, and you look up at him. He’s peering at you over his cup, the green reflecting off his silver watch. “You’re right.” You shrug, and finish pouring the cups.

“Way to be subtle.” Vernon rolls his eyes, and you smirk. “Don’t worry, Nonnie. You’ll find someone tonight.” Pinching his cheek, you shove him with your hip and settle between him and Jihoon, who steadies you with his hand ghosting over your back. Seokmin makes the first shot for the other team, the ball bouncing into the first cup.

You play for a bit, grimacing every time you down the cups of beer. Eventually, you decide it’s time to just chill in the lounge, and Sangyeon, Jihoon and Hyunjae agree. Seokmin and Vernon admit they’re probably going to raid the fridge for snacks, and you give them a go-ahead as the other men follow you up to the lounge on the third floor.

You see a few of your sisters there, including Jennie and one of the graduated Beta Tau Sigma brothers, Taehyung. They’re canoodling on one of the beanbags, and she glances up at you as you flop onto the couch on the other side of the room.

“Hey, Y/N.” She calls gently, and you look up to see her holding her thumb up, moving it down to see how you’re feeling. You hold a thumbs up, and she nods, returning to her boyfriend. The guys that came with you are sprawled across the floor, with Sangyeon being the only one on the couch with you.

“The room is spinning.” Hyunjae pouts, and you let out a laugh when you hear the door open, looking up to see Vernon and Seokmin with their hands full of snacks, and Soonyoung in after them. He holds up a bag of pre-rolls, and you hold your hand out.

“Is that how you ask, kitty?” Soonyoung rolls his eyes, fishing one out as you kneel on the couch, pushing the window behind you open. He tugs your skirt down a bit, and you turn back around to see him lighting the joint for you. “It’s lemon balm. I know you like those the best.”

“Thanks, Kwon.” You nod, taking it between your fingers as he sits on the floor, moving his head to be cradled by your knees. Your heels dig into his chest, and he peels off your shoes and tossed them to the side. Jennie and Taehyung slip out, with Jennie giving you a thumbs up once more. Once you mirror it, she’s out.

The group is quiet, seemingly trying to come down from their drunkenness when Sangyeon speaks. “Why kitty?”

“Huh?” Soonyoung looks up, and Sangyeon takes a sip from his cup. “You called Y/N kitty. Why?”

“Oh. I was a cat at the Halloween party we met at.” You shrug, and you notice Soonyoung’s brows furrow a bit. “That, and she has a kitty tattooed on her hip.”

You swat his shoulder, making him giggle when Sangyeon nods with wide eyes. “And how do you know that?”

“They used to fuck.” Vernon speaks up, popping a cheese curl into his mouth with the utmost nonchalant shrug. You gape at him, and he shoots you a wink. “Thanks, Hansol. Air out my business, why don’t you?”

“Okay. She also-” 

Jihoon claps his hand over Vernon’s mouth, and you roll your eyes as you offer the joint around the group. Hyunjae declines, handing it to Sangyeon. He gives you a glance, seeing you’re already looking at him.

"Isn't Hoshi the Zoology TA? Can't you guys get in some kind of trouble for that?" Hyunjae calls from the floor, making Soonyoung roll his eyes and Sangyeon clears his throat next to you. You glance at him, a stoney look on your face as you gesture to the lit joint in his hand. You're sure they want an answer – but if Soonyoung doesn't say anything, you sure as shit won't.

Taking the hit, Sangyeon passes it back to you and blows the smoke up and out. “That’s really smooth. Do you make these yourself, Hosh?”

“Yeah. It’s just a hobby.” He shrugs, lighting his own up and holding it between his lips. You roll your eyes, “This is also the same guy who rescues kittens for freshmen, teaches a dance class from seven to eight and a self-defense class from eight to nine every Tuesday and Thursday.”

“Oh, that’s actually pretty cool. How much do you sell for?” Sangyeon asks, his eyes a little lower as he looks at you instead of Soonyoung, who is glaring. “I don’t, it’s free.”

“I tell him that he’s a horrible business magnate, Mr. President.” You tilt your own joint at him, and he smiles. “Mr. President?”

“Yeah! Aren’t you the Alpha Psi Delta President? I thought I heard about that from Luda last year.” You rest your head on the couch cushion, and notice the way he bites his lip as his eyes trail your body, before he meets your eyes with a nod.

You’re not the only one who notices.

Clearing his throat, Vernon tries to cut the weird tension in the air. “How about we play a game? Truth or dare, or something?”

“I’m the only girl up here, you better not make me do weird shit or your ass is grass.” You threaten, making him smile widely. “Why, I’d never—”

“Shut up, you were the same one who dared her to streak last year.” Seokmin shoves Vernon, and the group hears the door open — Luda, Minghao and Chan trail in with Yerin and Momo in tow.  

“Hey, guys!” Luda greets, and you feel Soonyoung nearly rip himself away from you to greet her. “Hey, Lu.”

“What’re we doing up here?” She asks, taking a seat next to Soonyoung. You grimace inwardly, before feeling Sangyeon’s hand on your knee. He gives you a look that says fix your face, and you inch closer to him now that Soonyoung is literally feet away from you.

“We were gonna do a round of truth or dare.” Jihoon pipes up from the floor, and you smile as the guy covers his eyes. Luda grins, “I’m in! Who’s gonna start?”

You wait until everyone settles, but you catch Minghao’s eyes. He gives you a confused look, his gaze darting to Sangyeon’s hand on your lap. You give him a hard look, and he just shakes his head as Hyunjae sits up to start the game.

“Okay, Luda.” He clears his throat, and she sits up at the sound of her name. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Boring!” Momo pipes up, and a soft giggle spreads through the group. Sangyeon inches a little closer to you, his thigh now touching yours as he rests his hand a little higher on your leg. It’s subtle enough. “What’s your body count?”

She snorts. “Four. Isn’t yours in the double digits?” She teases Hyunjae, who scoffs. “Uh, not that it’s any of your business, but my body count is three.”

The group laughs again, and you find yourself leaning your head against Sangyeon, who props his arm behind you. “Okay, uhm…Y/N!”

You hear Luda call your name, and you give her a wiggle of your brows. “Hit me.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Let’s go…truth. I’ll play it safe.” You shrug, and she smiles. Almost like a cheshire cat, like she knows all your secrets. “Would you sleep with anyone in this room?”

You look around, getting a suggestive brow wiggle from Seokmin and bursting into laughter. “Yeah. I mean, I have. It wouldn’t be weird, I think.”

“Oh, really? Who?” She probes, and you shake your finger at her. “It’s Truth or Dare, not Truth and Explain Yourself.”

She laughs, and you look around the room for your target. “Vernon, truth or dare?”

“I’ll bite, give me a dare.” He pops another cheese curl in his mouth, and you feel your lips tug up at the corners. “I dare you to text Jisun and tell her your feelings for her.”

“Is this payback for last year? It was either that or skinny dipping.” He says pointedly, and you only shrug. “Text her or you’re a wimp.”

“It’s like, twenty degrees outside, Y/N. What if I just streak and risk getting pneumonia?” He feigns distress, and you feel Sangyeon’s fingers gently caressing your shoulder. Is this foreplay?

“Alright, we can do a dare for a dare. Give me something to do, and if I chicken out, you don’t have to text her.” You take a hit of your joint, leaning forward and feeling Sangyeon’s arm fall down your back, fingers now holding your hip lightly. Vernon sees this, clicking his tongue. “Fine. I dare you to makeout with Sangyeon.”

You blink at Vernon, hearing the group collectively ooooh. You scoff, “That’s it? That’s tame as hell, Hansol.”

“You can’t fuck him.” He states, and you smile. “I’m only a woman, Vernon. I have needs.”

“Is anyone going to ask Sangyeon if he’s okay with that?” Luda interjects, and you can sense a bit of a bite in her tone. Sangyeon shrugs, “If Y/N’s cool then I’m cool.”

“How will we even know if they made out? They could lie.” She tries, and you smile at her. “I’m not shy, if you want to watch or something.” You tease, watching her cheeks turn beet red. She shakes her head, and Vernon gives you a pointed look.

“So? What do you say, pipsqueak?”

“Prepare to admit your feelings to the love of your life, Chwe.”

You get up, tugging Sangyeon up with you. You feel a pair of eyes on you, but when you glance over your shoulder, you see Soonyoung glaring at the two of you as you open the door. “We’ll be back.”

You lead him to your bedroom down the hall, hearing him clear his throat as you push the door open and are met with darkness. You fumble with the lamp on your desk for mood lighting, and he smiles down at you. 

“We don’t have to.” He murmurs, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. His fingers aren’t as soft as Soonyoung’s. You shake your head, “If you’re down, I’m down. It’s been a while.”

He just smiles, tilting your head to meet your lips halfway. His lips are softer…you kind of miss the chapped feeling. You sigh into the kiss, your hands moving to his waist as he moves the two of you towards your bed. His hands trail down your waist, cupping your ass as he falls back onto your bed, pulling you on top of him. He groans softly as you adjust in his lap, and you feel his hips cant up.

"Sorry, sorry." He mumbles, making you laugh. "Eagerness is never a bad thing." The kissing is fine. It's a little desperate, a little messy as you grind down on him, but it's not Soonyoung. You pull away, a pout on your lips as the heady feeling of him against your core fills your head. "Not into it, huh?" He asks, and a part of you thinks he's admitting to it, too.

"You like Luda, don't you?" You ask pointedly, and his eyes go wide. "How the fuck–" "Kind of hard not to notice when she's jumping the gun to save you from my grasp." You laugh, rolling off him to stare at your ceiling. Your arm brushes something soft, and you glance up to see the Jellycat octopus from Soonyoung, Inky Minaj.

"How long did you and Hoshi sleep together?" He asks, and you sigh. "About a year. We were playing some stupid game of cat and mouse for my first three years as a student here, then we fucked at the Halloween rager the frat holds every year. Neither of us remembered it, so we fucked the next morning and the rest is history."

He looks at you, and you peer at him through low eyes. "What?" "Nothing. Just kind of sounds like you like him." He says matter-of-factly, and you snort. "Yeah. Yeah, I do. I kind of lied to myself for a while. I guess…I think once I realized that maybe he was starting to like me, I stopped it. I don't know. And him being my TA for Zoology definitely made me want to tread lightly." 

He nods, shifting uncomfortably. "Luda slept with him a few weeks ago. Around my birthday, I think." You shoot up almost immediately, turning to face him. "Luda and Soonyoung slept together? When? When is your birthday?" His face contorts into one that speaks I fucked up. "You didn't know? I thought you guys were like, best friends?"

"When, Sangyeon?" You probe, slapping his knee as he grimaces. "I don't know, like the eighth of November? I was out of town." "That son of a bitch." You scoff, and stand up. "Well. Let's go. I need Vernon to hop off my dick about his feelings and hop on Jisun's about them." "Maybe we should wait until you're not upset, Y/N." He says gently, and you groan. "I'm not upset, Soonyoung can fuck whoever he wants, whenever he wants. I'm not his keeper." "But you want to be, don't you?" He says pointedly, and you huff in response. "Come on, Mr. President. I've got a point to prove, and it's that I don't need Kwon Soonyoung to get laid." "We all already know that, pretty." He rolls his eyes, allowing you to lead him out. He shuts your door, and makes it a big show of fixing your skirt and wiping his lips of your gloss as you open the door to the lounge. Soonyoung and Luda are draped across the couch, and you lock eyes with him the moment you step inside the room. Minghao, unable to read the room for the first time, turns and cheers.

"Woo! How was it?" He asks, taking a swig from the bottle of Pink Whitney that somehow made its way upstairs. "Pretty good." You admit shyly, feeling Sangyeon sit on the ground with you. He pulls you onto his lap, and you give Vernon a knowing look.

"You gotta do it, Chwe." "Oh, come on! You hate me!" "I don't hate you, but I sure am tired of hearing you mope about Jisun." "How are you even coherent right now? You had two spliffs and a shitload of beer." You smile, wiggling your fingers for his phone. "Give it here, Chwe." He groans, handing it over to you. You unlock it, not unable to shake Soonyoung's eyes off you. You know he's eyeing the man holding you, because he shifts under you and even brushes the hem of your dress. You smirk to yourself as you scroll to Vernon's conversation with Jisun, seeing a pre-drafted message sitting in the text box.

Msg To: Roh Jisun (the loml who doesn't know she's the loml yet)

[4:31am] hi jisun. i just wanted to say that uhh i've liked you for a while and i know it's late (or early….wtv you prefer) and i do not expect you to answer this at all (because i'm a wimp) but if it's not a bother, i'd like to take you out. to dinner, maybe, or whatever you'd like to do. i know you like making jewelry, though, i know this cool jeweler in the city who does like,,,classes. maybe? sorry this is so awkward i'm nervous.

You read over it, and look at Vernon. He's blushing deeply, and you smile softly. "Just send it, Nonnie." "What if she says no?" "What if she says yes?" Momo speaks up, and you see her also taking a sip from the bottle of Pink Whitney. The group echoes her, and Vernon sighs. "Okay, fine. Fine! I'll send it and if she says no I'll just…act normal." He turns the screen to face everyone, pressing send with his ring finger and fully launching the phone across the room. "Well! That's that!" He smiles, reaching for the bottle of Pink Whitney and taking a long drink.

"Who's next?"

February 7th.

Zoology with Soonyoung was not nearly as bad as you thought it was going to be. He stayed true to his word – if you were cool, he marked you present. If you were a douche, he marked you absent. His office hours were erratic, and you found it increasingly difficult to get a hold of him for the first few classes. He was always helping another classmate, or busy with his classes at the dance studio.

In other news, Sangyeon was avoiding you like the fucking plague. You'd waved at him a few days after the party, when you noticed a bruise blooming on his cheekbone. He greeted you quickly, before leaving you practically in the dust. Luda was also increasingly cold to you, but you just assumed it was over one of the boys – whether it was Soonyoung or Sangyeon was beyond you.

Vernon actually managed to woo Jisun. She was charmed by his general awkwardness, and when she texted you about it, you laughed and told her that it was the most outward emotion you'd seen him exude since you'd known the guy. She laughed and said he was sweet, and that she'd let you know how the date went. Vernon screamed in your messages about it and stated "I hope you get the best head in the world."

Speaking of getting the best head in the world, you finally caught Soonyoung in the hallway today, asking him if you could have an impromptu study session in the library later. He sighed, checking his watch and agreeing rather reluctantly. You grimaced, and told him you didn't have to ask him, you could very well just join the Zoology study group that met twice a week.

He apologized and said he'd book the study room for five, and that he'd meet you there.

Well, it's now six and the two of you have done nothing but bicker. You'd asked about Lorenz and what he meant about the transposibility of key stimuli, to which he'd just scoffed and said that you'd know all about key stimuli.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You spit, and he just shook his head. "Whatever. Key stimuli is just something that can trigger specific sensory information in an animal's brain. So certain shapes, colors, sounds, even gestures and behaviors can trigger an animal to act in a certain manner." You sucked your teeth, jotting down his words before speaking. "Do you know what happened to Sangyeon?" He almost snaps his neck looking up at you, brows furrowed as he shakes his head. "No? Why does that even matter, aren't we supposed to be studying?" You raise a brow at him, "Why are you so defensive, dude? I'm just asking you if you know what happened. He and Luda have been avoiding me like I have lice." "Get a monkey." He shrugs, looking back down at his phone. He's scrolling mindlessly, and you huff as you put down your pen. "Alright. What's the problem, Soonyoung?" He winces slightly, before shaking his head. "Don't know what you mean. Do you understand now? Or do you still need to understand the difference between key stimuli and releasers? People have been asking all week about that." You frown, feeling your throat a bit tight as you sit up. "Why are you acting like this?" You murmur, and he must hear something in your voice that makes him look up. "Acting like what?" "Like you can't stand to be in the same room as me." "That's not true." He rolls his eyes, and you scoff. "It sure seems like it. I ask you a question about class, you're rude. I mention Sangyeon and Luda, you're annoyed and irritated. Did I do something? Are you upset with me?" It seems your prodding has been more of you poking the bear, because he sucks his teeth and slides his phone onto the table. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am upset with you. And you did do something." "Okay? So tell me what it is so we can fix it." You state, and he laughs dryly. "We? There is no we in you and Sangyeon making out like a pair of lovesick idiots at the stoplight party. He was practically eye fucking you the entire time you were together."

"I don't see what the hell that has to do with you, Soonyoung." You retort, and he shakes his head. "I just don't understand why you'd make me feel like there was something between us and then go and make out with some other guy. He likes Luda, you know, so it's not like it would have gone anywhere." His tone is bitter, and you can recognize he's saying all of this to hurt your feelings. Maybe because he's hurt, and he feels disappointed in his own choices. Nonetheless, it gets under your skin and hits just the right bullseye for you to explode.

"Where the fuck do you get off telling me what I can and can't do with my life, Soonyoung? You and I both agreed that this wasn't mutually exclusive, and Sangyeon and I just made out! You and I haven’t even fucked since we stopped last year, so I don't understand why your panties are in a twist!" You exclaim, and he scoffs out a breath of disbelief.

"You know what, maybe this entire thing was a fucking mistake. I should've never asked for there to even be an 'us', because if I knew I was going to feel this way knowing that you can just do whatever or whoever you want–" You cut him off before he can finish. "Is that what you think I'm doing? I've literally rejected so many people in just the past year because you were acting like you couldn't live without me! So what if I kissed Sangyeon? So what if I did? Forgive me for thinking that maybe you changed your mind about me and how you felt about me after you slept with Luda! You're not the only one who felt led on, you know?!" Your breathing is heavy as you finish yelling, with Soonyoung blinking at you, ears red. "You know about that?" His voice is almost ashamed. Almost.

"If you didn't want to make this an exclusive thing, or make the people around us think we were together, you should've stopped pulling me into random bedrooms to fuck and kissing me in the kitchen of the frat. Maybe don't buy me a Jellycat Octopus and say you want to be exclusive with me if you're just going to pull this sort of shit." You feel tears sting your eyes as you rip your bag off the chair in front of you, feeling your throat tighten as you grab your remaining things off the table. "Y/N-" "You know, it may be taking you five years to finish your degree, but I want to finish mine on time. Have a good life, Soonyoung. Don't call me." You spit, watching his jaw drop slightly before tightening. "I won't." "Good." "Great." "Fine." 

He watches as you slam the door behind you, feeling his stomach sink damn near into the ground as he sees the sweater you were wearing still hanging across the back of your chair. "Fine."

February 14th.

It'd been a week since your fight with Soonyoung.

He'd unfollowed you on Instagram, and seemingly decided to pretend as though you didn't exist. He didn't acknowledge you if you were over at the frat for Minghao, and he certainly didn't speak to you. You'd asked him to pass you the salt when you'd gone over yesterday for a Valentine's dinner party with the brothers, and he just left the table without a word. It was embarrassing enough that you asked Minghao to walk you home. 

What you didn't know was that the fellow girlfriends of his frat brothers spoke to him about his behavior. Sana and Jisun called Sowon over FaceTime and even had Seungcheol talk to him, and he stood there and took the scolding like a puppy with his tail between his legs. Seungcheol told him that his behavior towards you wasn't going to get you to forgive him, much less be with him and that he understood that Soonyoung felt negatively about your actions – but that Soonyoung cannot be upset about it because he had his chance and he blew it by making out with Yujin at the Halloween party.

Talk about key stimuli. Bad behavior does not get rewarded.

He'd been left with his own thoughts after that, and he stared at all the little trinkets he had that reminded him of you. The sweater you left in the library was hung over his desk chair, and it still smelled of your citrusy perfume. The piggy bank you got him for his birthday was sitting on his bookshelf, still stuffed full with new bills you put in before giving it to him. You'd also given him a few items of clothing that reminded you of him, one of which being an oversized black sweater with your initials embroidered in the sleeve. He frequently wore it unless he was sure he'd be seeing you.

He didn't know why. It just felt nice to…feel like he belonged to you.

"Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!" He's standing in front of the class, and the sophomore girls in the front of the room coo at his cheerfulness. You're sitting behind them, a sour expression on your face as he dims the lights, a baggy navy cardigan draped over your shoulders. You didn't like that one as much as the one you'd left in the library.

"In honor of this pseudo holiday, we're going to go over the most romantic of animals. Consider this a free class, because this is definitely not on the syllabus or in the curriculum, I just like to talk about it." He smiles, and the group of girls aww again, and you make a face as he turns the projector to the next slide.

"Naturally, you have the ones you've heard of the most. Penguins, seahorses, swans, and doves. Shit, even elephants are said to mate for life, and become extremely depressed if their lover suddenly passes or, in some cases, just up and leaves. But my favorite?"

He changes the slide, seeing your eyes widen as your favorite fish fills the screen.

"The French Angelfish mate for life. Monogamy isn't usually practiced amongst observed populations of fish, though. So much so that there is an analogy called the Fish Love Analogy. This is when your partner can meet all your needs, both emotional and physical, but ultimately only turns into an object of desire." You frown at this, but he changes the slide.

"French Angelfish are rarely seen alone, as once they've mated, they're inseparable. It's really quite beautiful and it proves that animals are sentient beings." He smiles slightly, looking around to see everyone jotting down notes.

"What about you, Soonyoung? Do you believe in that stuff?" One of the sophomore girls speaks up, and he shrugs. "I do, yes. I think it's a beautiful thing, to fall in love and have that person forever. I think as humans, though, we forget to cherish what we have. That's why the rate of divorce is so high." You roll your eyes.

"Do you think you've found your forever, Soonyoung?" Another one of the girls asks, and he sighs. "You know, I have. I have found her, but I'm also a human that doesn't know how to cherish good parts of life. Animals are just wired to operate in a certain way, but giving humans free will has truly affected us as a society." He scoffs, earning a laugh from the class.

You're not smiling, but he sees your lips twitch slightly.

"What if she's not your Angelfish, though?" Someone from behind you speaks up, and he purses his lips. His eyes find yours, and he can practically feel them pierce through him.

"I doubt that she's not."

He turns back to the slides, proceeding to talk about how humans have romanticized doves and swans to be representative of love. He finishes the slides quickly, bidding everyone a happy Valentine's day once more and earning echoes of the girls telling him they hope he and his Angelfish figure it out. He thanked them, hitching his backpack over his shoulder as he held the door open for them.

He looks over them, spotting you still gathering your materials. You glance up at him, a silent communication of please wait for me from your eyes. He does, he waits as you walk down the steps and tug your cardigan around you tightly. He remembers when you bought it, he was with you and you were actually wearing the same dress you have on now, the long skirt now paired with platform boots so it doesn't drag on the floor. You slip out in front of him, and wait a few feet away as he locks the door. You stare at the floor as he falls into pace next to you, albeit a few feet behind. You're leading the way to somewhere, he notes, because you're not headed towards the frat or your place. He follows silently, never closing the gap between you as you turn into the veterinary hallway.

The graduating class last year had raised enough money to install an aquarium for viewing pleasure. It had all sorts of fish – including angelfish. You stopped in front of it, with him lingering a few feet behind and watching from afar. You point silently, the fish swimming past your hand and joining another.

"Which one are you?" You mumble, and he steps closer to you, but not enough to touch you. "Probably the male one." You snort, backing up slightly, your knuckles brushing as you clasp your hands behind your back.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, and he shakes his head. "No, I'm sorry." "Let's just agree we're both sorry." You shrug, and he sighs. "You shouldn't have to be sorry, though. I've always come off so strong, and I'm sorry if you felt like I was projecting my feelings onto you. You don't ever have to reciprocate if you don't want to." "Do you want me to?" You ask gently, watching the fish swim in circles. He hesitates, before nodding. "I don't think there is anything I want more." He murmurs, and you look at him out of the corner of your eye.

"Careful, I won't get you a gift for your birthday this year." You joke, but you see him sink slightly, before he's kneeling on the floor. "Soonyoung?" "I'm sorry I've been such an asshole, I know I don't deserve to be with you in any form." He hugs your knees, and you feel your cheeks flame as someone walks by you. "Soonyoung, get up." "Not until you forgive me." He squeezes your legs tighter, and a couple of girls walk by, gaping at the sight. "I forgive you! Just get up!" You grit, tugging his arm up and hurrying away from the hallway. 

His eyes are teary as you pull him into a janitor's closet, making you scoff out a laugh as you wipe his eyes. "Oh, don't cry. I don't like seeing you cry." You say gently, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. His lips jut out in a pout as his hands come up to your wrists.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, and you roll your eyes. "Really?"

“Is that a no?” “I should make you grovel, honestly.” “I’m not above begging, you should know this.” “Just kiss me, you idiot.”

He does.

He does, and it's the warmest you'd felt in a long time. His lips are just as chapped as the last time he'd kissed you, his fingers just as soft as they held your face gently. You feel him press himself against you as his tongue slowly licks into your mouth. You play along, your fingers curling into his hair and tugging softly. He whines against your lips, making you smirk as you pull him away.

"Still wanna get on your knees?" You murmur, and he nods quickly as he sinks to his knees in front of you, and you clear your throat as he pulls your leg over his shoulder, pushing your skirt up to your hips. His breath is warm against your skin as he gasps, peering up at you from behind the bunched fabric. "You're not–" "You're about to yap yourself out of some ass, shut up." You roll your eyes, making him frown as his eyes disappear under your skirt, feeling his teeth nip at your thigh. You flinch, no longer used to his biting habits. "Be gentle." "Yeah, yeah. I don't tell you how to kiss other guys, don't tell me how to eat your pussy." He grumbles, and you go to argue before you feel his tongue circle your clit slowly. You sigh, feeling his free hand snake up to lace his fingers with yours. You hold his fingers tightly as he buries his face into your cunt, eagerly soaking up whatever you'll give him.

You cover your mouth with your free hand, feeling a bit of anxiety pool in your stomach as you hear students walk past the closet. He pulls you even closer, slurping obscenely when you hear someone stop in front of the door, murmured whispers and soft kissing sounds when the doorknob jiggles. You see Soonyoung's hand shoot to grab it, attempting to hold the door tightly shut as they pull.

He doesn't pull away when they yank the door open, leaving you to nearly topple as you yank your skirt down, hiding him beneath it. You're faced with Lee Chan and his girlfriend,Jung Haerim, lipstick smeared all over his face and neck as your own burns in embarrassment. His jaw drops, and you find yourself squirming away from Soonyoung's tongue as you shove him away. 

Soonyoung pouts as he exits your skirt, a deep frown on his glistening lips as he looks at Chan. "Really, man?" "You're the one stealing my closet! You know this is my spot!" Chan argues as Soonyoung stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, your orgasm ruined and humiliation levels on 10. "You know, getting fucked in a mop closet shouldn't be something you're proud of." Soonyoung scoffs as he grabs your hand once more, tugging you out as Chan and Haerim blink at the two of you. She opens her mouth, holding up her finger before closing it, pressing her lips together. "Can't we just go to my place?"

"Should've thought of that earlier!" Soonyoung yells over his shoulder, picking up his pace as he hears Chan start after the two of you. You feel the awkward tension start to dissipate as you both bolt down the hallway, and you feel him take a sharp turn towards the fraternity. You hear Chan start yelling curse words before his footsteps stop, and the two of you just giggle to yourselves as you keep running towards the house.

Seeing the house come into view, the two of you quickly make your way up the steps and nearly slam into Seungcheol, who had come to visit (without anyone's knowledge.) He barely moves out of the way as you and Soonyoung barrel up the stairs, not even acknowledging a rather stoned Vernon and Jisun on the second floor landing before sliding into his room. It seemed both of you were on the same page about finishing what was started.

The room is full of clattering as you both undress, and your books are thrown to the side as his hands pull you to him before you both topple onto his bed. His lips are instantly on yours, but it's too chaste – and you hear him murmur something before he presses his lips to yours again.

"I love you." You scoff out a laugh, before you see the seriousness in his eyes. Blinking, you sit up a bit, your fingers trembling as you gently stroke his cheek. He nibbles his lip, and you can feel another laugh bubble in your throat. His ears tinge pink as you laugh, pulling him back down to your level, nuzzling your nose against his softly.

"I love you, too."

His eyes widen, and you swear he stops breathing before you tap him gently. "Hosh? You there?" He blinks, his hand tightens reflexively around your hip. "Yeah…I'm here."

You smile at him, tilting your head as you run your fingers through his hair. "You mean it, right? Do you love me?" "Let me be struck by Zeus himself if I'm lying."

The two of you laugh after a moment, and he swallows carefully. Neither of you make a move to get down to business, instead staring at each other like this was the last time you'd ever see each other. "You okay?" You murmur, and he shakes his head. "You love me." "You know, I figured it would be pretty obvious that I'd liked you well before we ever slept together." You say pointedly. "I'm still not forgiving you, though. You'll have to work for that." He quirks his brow at you, before pushing off you and flopping onto his back. You look at him, and he clears his throat. "M'lady, your throne awaits." "You're an idiot." "Your idiot, now come on. I've got to prove myself to you."

May 9th.

"Y/L/N Y/N." 

Cheers are heard around the auditorium as your name is called, but not even your parents are as loud as your boyfriend amongst your graduating class. "THAT'S MY BABY!"

You feel your cheeks heat as everyone aw's and ooh's, hearing his fraternity brothers blow kazoos like idiots in the stands. The ceremony quickly came to an end as the last few names were called, the security attempting to diffuse crowds of people exiting. You found yourself looking for your boyfriend, finding him being embraced by Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua as his eyes searched for you.

Your relationship with Soonyoung was not perfect by any means. You nearly failed Zoology because he kept interrupting your studying to kiss you, often leading to other things before you would crawl out of his bed to your laptop on the desk, before being lured back in by your siren of a boyfriend. The two of you kept it under wraps best as you could, seeing if Professor Kwon found out (or anyone else, really) you could both get in trouble.

But, everyone seemed to finally be satisfied with the outcome. You and Soonyoung were set to go to grad school together, and everyone congratulated the two of you as you made your relationship official – posting each other freely on social media almost everyday. Coffee dates photographed on your story turned into study (and sex) sessions, his Instagram story was full of you in cute workout sets as you finally let him drag you to his Tuesday dance class. Your dashboard was full of him posting you as much as he could, captions of "my girlfriend!!!" and "me n u…get it? menu…#lovestagram" under a photo of the two of you at a diner.

Your sorority and his fraternity came together to host a graduation party for all the graduates, and you and Soonyoung were going to arrive together. You stare at him from your position near the doors, waiting for him to spot you. You'd both worn a soft pink under your white gowns, and his eyes scan the entire area before finally landing on you. He fights his way out of his friends' arms, and you hear him exclaim to them that he needs to find his girlfriend.

As he approaches you, you think of the tangled web that had been your relationship. A bit of jealousy wrapped in emotional unavailability and insecurities from the both of you, like a cricket held down by a spider's thread. You think about the chase, the game of cat and mouse that the two of you played as you kissed eagerly, a mess of tongues and spit before he'd have to slip away. You think about the first time he smoked you out, and how he'd laughed and held you tightly when you told him you felt like you were about to fall off the Earth.

You think about his growth as a person, about his growth as a man and his growth as your person. The person you found yourself drawn to since you'd stepped foot in Beta Tau Omega four years ago. The same person who bought you a new laptop and then took you out to dinner, the same person who immediately glued himself to you once he found out how much you had in common.

The same person who left when he felt like everything was too much by your side, only to admit his wrongs a year later and beg for your forgiveness on a roof in the middle of autumn. The same person who then slowly lured you into his sticky and tangled web of emotions and unspoken confessions, of kisses full of I love you and embraces screaming I missed you. The same person who said you're his angelfish, his person, his forever. The same person who realizes his mistakes and pushes his pride aside to apologize, even if it means the two of you end up a mess of spit and cum and tears. The same person who tells you now, every night, that he loves you and has done everything he can to prove it day by day.

"Hey, kitty." His smile is warm and full of mischief as his hand gently brushes your hair away from your face, revealing the earrings he gave you a few weeks ago. He thumbs at them softly, before pulling you in closely for a chaste kiss. You smile at him, knowing that this tangled mess is only the beginning of your forever with him. "Let's get out of here."

haologram © 2024 || no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[supernovafics]

series masterlist | last part — next part

pairing: modern!college!steve harrington x fem!reader, bestfriend!eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 2.9k words

warnings: explicit language, nothing else really?

summary: your life goes back to normal— how things were before you knew steve— and it’s fine (or at least that’s what you keep telling yourself)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN | ❝𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆❞

Spring Semester 2017

“This is how villain origin stories are born,” Robin said with a loud sigh as she closed her laptop for the time being. “Apartment hunting. Why does this suck so much?”

“Because everything’s severely out of our price range,” You responded, looking up from your own laptop. “Also, there are barely any three-bedroom options.”

“And the ones that are available and in our budget are very shitty,” Vickie added and you nodded in agreement.

The three of you were sitting on the carpeted floor in your dorm room. Living together for the next school year had been jokingly and playfully talked about in the very early stages of your friendship with Robin, but then as the months passed, it settled into an idea that actually became serious; mainly because of how much sense it made. And then Robin introduced you to Vickie and another friendship, and roommate, was born. 

Eddie was also set as a fourth roommate for a bit, but then he told you that he and Chrissy decided to live together for junior year, so it became settled that it would only be you, Robin, and Vickie. Which sounded great, and you were already excited about it since you hated living alone, but the apartment-hunting part quickly proved to be a lot more of a nuisance than any of you had expected.

“Fuck it, let’s just do a four-bedroom, then,” Robin said, shrugging. “There are a bunch more options for those, anyway. Like, the one I showed you guys yesterday. That place was perfect.”

“Did I miss the moment when our fourth roommate magically appeared?” Vickie asked, a playful smile on her face. 

“We can easily find someone else in one of those, like, Facebook group things.”

“That’s honestly not a bad idea,” You responded, already going to pull up Facebook on your laptop. 

Robin smiled. “Thank you. I always have great ideas.”

Vickie gave her a look. “Do I need to mention the ‘donating blood to get concert ticket money’ idea you had a week ago?” 

“No, that’s okay. We don’t need to discuss that low point.” 

You were the one who showed them Talia’s posting on one of the “searching for roommates” groups. She seemed nice and interesting and both Robin and Vickie thought so too. The three of you put together a quick message— briefly introducing yourselves and that you were looking for a fourth roommate— and sent it.

“Okay, fourth roommate, check,” Robin said once you pressed send. “Now, we have to get the place that I showed you guys yesterday.”

You laughed a little. “Let’s wait until she actually says something, Rob.”  

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Spring Semester 2018

Initially, it felt equivalent to a family meeting. Well, more so what you imagined a family meeting would be like because the four of you never actually had to have one before. 

But then, it actually felt like you were giving some sort of speech or presentation because of the setup. Robin, Vickie, and Talia were on the couch and you were standing in front of the TV and explaining everything to them. 

You kept in most of the details— you and Steve agreeing to fake date, your feelings for Eddie being the reason behind it all, and how it was only meant to go until Spring Break. 

Aside from the fact that they all seemed shocked to learn that you had feelings for Eddie, their collective thought was that the entire relationship between you and Steve had seemed so real.

“We were just really good at faking,” Was your response to Vickie specifically saying how cute you two had looked together; especially during the one reality TV night where Steve came over and picked the show.

You remembered that night pretty well, but you didn’t remember any specific moments where you had felt as if you and he had to “play up” the relationship or lay the PDA on thick since Eddie wasn’t around that night, so you weren’t sure how that moment was considered a definingly cute one for the two of you. 

“Were you good at faking or was it not really fake?” Robin asked, giving you a certain look. 

“Definitely fake,” You didn’t hesitate to answer because you deliberately didn’t want to think about her question too deeply. “We’re not even really friends, and he just went on a date last night. Hence the Eddie punch.”

Eddie was still sleeping in your bed. When you got back from Steve’s place, you weren’t in the mood to wake him up or tell him to shift over and make room for you, so you spent the night on the couch. 

“Damn, it kinda sucks that we’re never gonna see him again. He was the only one that liked when I made the pumpkin cheesecake cookies,” Talia said.

Vickie laughed a bit. “The only reason we don’t like it is because that's clearly a Fall cookie, Tal, and it's Spring right now.” She then looked as if she thought of something. “Hey, but at least you won’t have to get stuck on a team with Eddie for game night anymore. We’re back to individual stuff or you being the referee.”

Talia smiled. “Thank you for reminding me.”

“Wait, that just made me remember something,” Robin started. “Guys, I need you to please hear me out on this one,” She paused for what seemed like dramatic effect. “I think it's time to bring back Monopoly.”

There was a collective groan that immediately filled the air upon hearing her suggestion. Monopoly was a near friendship-ending game for you all, and it was only meant to be played on the rarest of occasions; which actually meant never. 

You sat down on the small loveseat then, glad that the subject had been shifted and that your speech, mixed with a Q&A, was over. “Robin, why do you wanna ruin all of our friendships?”

She quickly shook her head. “Come on, it’s been months. We’re all much more mature and reasonable adults, and I doubt we’ll have any arguments like last time.” 

Before any of you could respond with any sort of rebuttal, your bedroom door opened and out walked a tired looking Eddie. 

“Somehow, I heard the mention of Monopoly and I’m here to immediately veto that suggestion.” 

Robin rolled her eyes at him. “Go back to sleep, Munson.”

The game night conversation continued, and from there, things were normal. And you didn’t mind the normalcy that your life settled back into over the next few days and then weeks— even though, at one point, the thought of it bothered you and you had missed a lot of the things that came along with fake dating Steve. Now you knew there was no point in missing any of it; in fact, it felt kind of dumb to. 

Your classes got more and more intense during the entire month of April, so there wasn’t that much time to think about Steve or wonder what he was up to. However, the moments you did think of him surprisingly hit hard. 

When you all ended up playing Monopoly at game night, after Robin’s many begs and pleads, you thought about Steve and how different things would’ve been if he was there. You imagined him as a pretty competitive Monopoly player, and felt almost certain that he would’ve either had the biggest rivalry with Robin or formed some sort of alliance with her; she was the one that actually ended up winning after an intense and exhausting seven hours of playing that night. You wished that he could’ve been there. 

And then there were the reminders of him that were left around— his t-shirt that you’d never gotten around to giving back to him, his sunglasses that you didn’t realize you’d stolen until you were finally finishing unpacking your stuff from the Mexico trip, and the bear that he got you for Valentine’s Day that you refused to ever get rid of, but you eventually stuffed Hartford away in your closet instead of leaving him on your desk to make things feel easier. 

Anytime one of those moments happened where you randomly thought about him, you immediately reminded yourself of the rule and simply buried yourself further in whatever school assignment you needed to focus on, or made abrupt plans with Eddie, Robin, Vickie, or Talia. 

It was late in the month when Talia wanted to set you up with a guy from one of her classes, who she claimed would be “perfect for you.” Initially, you were hesitant— more so leaning toward no than yes— but he had the Talia stamp of approval, so you let it happen. She gave him your number and there were a handful of text messages shared between you two that led to a museum date a week later. 

It wasn’t terrible. But, your heart wasn’t in it at all, and neither was your head most of the time. And by the end of it, more specifically as you were in the elevator headed back up to your apartment, you realized that you probably wouldn’t see him again. 

When you walked into the apartment, you spotted Talia in the kitchen and the entire apartment smelled amazing; which, of course, didn’t surprise you at all.

“Hey, what are you making?” You asked as you pulled off your jacket and hung it on one of the empty hooks next to the door. 

“I got bored, so I decided to do a quick roasted chicken. It’s in the oven now,” She said, shrugging as if that was entirely normal. It would never not amuse you how her boredom would always spur on elaborate meals. “So, how was the date?”

“It was fine. Good, actually,” You answered after the briefest moment of hesitation. “He was pretty cool and we had a lot in common and stuff. But, I don’t know… It just didn’t feel right, I guess. My head was in a different place a lot of the time. Thinking about other stuff.”

“About Steve?”

Hearing her say that, surprised you. “What? No. I haven’t talked to him in like a month.” 

She gave you a quick shrug. “That doesn’t mean that you can’t think about him.” 

“I guess that’s true, but I haven’t really thought about him,” You said. It was a small lie that you were okay with telling because you didn’t want to admit or even ponder what it meant that you did think about and were so easily reminded of him sometimes. 

“I’m kind of surprised that you two aren’t friends or something,” She told you as she went to grab something from the fridge. “I don’t think I could do a whole fake dating thing with someone and not, at least, be friends with them after it.”

You leaned back against the counter. “We came up with a bunch of rules when we started it, and that was one of them.”

“To not be friends after?”

“Not exactly that, but pretty much, yeah. The rule was to go our separate ways once the fake dating was done,” You shrugged. “Becoming friends was the last thing on both of our minds when we came up with that since we were basically strangers at the beginning of this. And when we were ending things, we both knew that it would be impossible to be friends after because of all of the lies that started this.” 

She looked at you then. “But we all know the truth now, though. So you two could be friends and none of us would question it.” 

Talia’s words made complete sense and they were something that you should’ve realized and thought about a lot earlier than this moment. You were quiet for what felt like forever because you didn’t know what to say in response. Your immediate reaction was to still say no, you couldn’t be friends with him, but if she followed up and asked why, you knew that you wouldn’t have an answer. 

When the oven started beeping, it felt like a very “saved by the bell” kind of moment. Talia pulled out the chicken from the oven and let the conversation shift from there. “You got back from your date just in time, by the way. You wanna try this?” 

“Of course, I’ll never turn down anything you make.”

You went to your room first to change out of your date outfit and put on some pajamas instead and then you joined Talia back in the kitchen. The chicken was quite literally perfect, which didn’t surprise you, and you retreated to your room for the night after you finished eating, while Talia put on a documentary that she had to watch for one of her psychology classes. 

As much as you tried to focus on anything else as you lay in your bed, you inadvertently spent the rest of the night thinking about Steve— it was too hard not to. 

You thought about every moment that you had been reminded of him over the past month— how it hadn’t felt like much at first, but when you thought about it all at once, it was a lot. You also thought about what Talia said and why you and he weren’t friends even though it was pretty obvious that you should be— what else could explain why you both had prolonged and dragged out the conversation in his car the night you two “broke up”? Neither of you had wanted to let the inevitable happen. 

All of this was about more than just following the rule to you. Of course, it was about more than just that. 

Deep down you knew exactly why you couldn’t listen to what Talia said— why you couldn’t text him, go to his place, or do anything else to lean into that short-lived friendship you two had that you actually had a feeling was still there— but right then you refused to admit it. 

Instead, you grabbed your phone and put on a random podcast just so you could use the noise to drown out your thoughts and force yourself to fall asleep.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

It wasn’t until a few days before finals that you thought about Steve again. It was kind of hard not to because you ran right into him— or more so tripped over him. 

The campus library during the week before finals week was probably one of the worst places to be, but you were in a last-second search for a book that you needed to do an essay on and you refused to buy it online because, for some reason, it was way too expensive.

Your eyes were trained solely on the spines of books as you searched for the one in particular when you tripped over something in the middle of the aisle. It wasn’t a full-on fall, just a very awkward stumble, but it somehow felt just as embarrassing. 

You let out an abrupt yelp in the middle of your stumble and heard a voice before you even got to see what caused you to trip. “Oh, fuck, I’m sorry.” 

You recognized Steve’s voice immediately and it sent a surprised jolt through you as you turned to look at him. He was leaned back against the long bookshelf with his legs stretched out and there was a textbook opened in his lap. He must’ve just been sleeping because you saw him rub his eyes and let out a quick yawn.

He looked up at you as he crossed his legs under him instead of having them stretched out in the aisle. He seemed as if he was surprised to see you too, but from the look on his face, you could tell that he saw it as a good surprise; you weren’t sure if you could say the same just yet. “Shit, now I feel worse knowing that I just did that to you.”

That got the smallest smile out of you. “Yes, you should feel a thousand times worse for almost ending my life.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you sleeping here?” You asked. Both of you were keeping your voices low because you were on one of the quieter floors of the library. 

He shook his head. “I’m not sleeping. I was taking a break from studying for a test and just resting my eyes for a second.” 

“So sleeping?”

“A very brief nap,” He corrected.

“Ah, okay, got it,” You nodded, words coming out completely sarcastic. “Sorry for interrupting your very brief nap then.”

“Sorry for almost killing you.”

“Thank you.”

You knew that you should’ve let the brief conversation end there. You should’ve looked away from him then and continued searching for the book you needed to find. But, you didn’t. 

Instead, after the briefest moment of lingering silence between you two, you sat down across from Steve. The book and the essay that you needed to work on became the farthest things from your mind for the time being.

You didn’t have the strongest grasp on what you were doing right then and why you were doing any of it, but you decided not to question it. Instead, you simply did what felt good in the moment. 

You leaned back against the bookshelf opposite Steve and crossed your legs as well. “Hi.” 

He gave you a questioning look at first— maybe he was also expecting the conversation to end in that previous spot; like it would’ve with any other two people who weren’t really friends that had just randomly bumped into each other. 

But then, he was smiling, a genuine Steve Harrington smile that felt really nice to see. “Hey.” 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

a/n: ….. i'm sorry for the cliffhanger !!!!

next part!

taglist (lmk if you want to be added or taken off<333); @eddiernunson , @loulouloueh , @the-aster , @blckburd , @totally-bogus-timelady , @yujyujj , @irhdifartzamfyaa , @mochminnie , @munsonssweets , @blckbrrybasket , @xprloki , @definitionwanderlust , @dwcode , @sun-fiower-seed , @keerysfolklore , @damon-loves-pie , @lodeddiperrodrick , @bisexual-and-intellectual , @munsonburn3r , @negomi123 , @khena , @facexthexsunshine , @seatbacksandtraytables , @suckerfordylansstuff

[cece693]

He's Taken (Jason Grace x Son of Aphrodite)

Since one of you requested something with Jason and a son of Aphrodite, I wrote this to prepare for it :)

Summary: Piper has had the biggest crush on Jason...too bad he's already taken and by her sibling, no less.

tags: Piper chases after Jason, she should've known he was taken, you're Aphrodite's favorite child, jealousy between siblings, protective Jason

Piper should’ve known Jason was taken the moment he politely turned down her flirtatious remarks, following it up by calling her a "very good friend." Friend. That word alone should’ve raised multiple red flags, but Piper was blinded by her crush on the son of Jupiter. Maybe Jason was just as oblivious as Percy had been, from what Annabeth had fondly recalled, but when their group arrived at Camp Half-Blood and the Roman immediately ran toward a handsome boy waiting at the camp’s border, Piper finally understood.

The reason Jason wasn’t interested in her was because he was already in a relationship—with you, M/N, Aphrodite’s most favored child. Though no one had explicitly said you were the favorite, the moment Piper stayed in Cabin 10 and saw you casually conversing with your mother through a seashell—as if it were the most natural thing in the world—she couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

Here you were, not only in a relationship with Jason, the boy she liked, but you were also head of Cabin 10, and on such good terms with Aphrodite, a goddess often criticized for her distant treatment of her children.

Piper wanted to hate you, but it was impossible.

You were kind—too kind. You had a natural charm that Piper couldn’t help but notice, and it wasn’t long before you started forming close friendships with the rest of her friends. You had been friends with Annabeth, Percy, and Nico way before Piper knew them, so that didn't sting, but when Hazel, Frank, and Leo began to enjoy your company, hanging out without a care in the world, it stung.

Each interaction stoked Piper’s jealousy. She could see how easily you fit in with everyone—how naturally people gravitated toward you. It wasn’t your fault, but it felt like you were taking over her world.

Then, she heard about the rite of passage.

While spending more time with the children of Aphrodite, Piper learned about an old tradition within the cabin. Each camper, once they had reached a certain level of maturity or skill, was expected to break someone’s heart. It was supposed to be a test—an initiation of sorts to prove their power over love, to demonstrate that they could wield it as a tool. It had been prohibited a while back, campers calling it an outdated and cruel practice, but Piper couldn’t shake the feeling that you were still following the old ways.

You're playing him, she thought bitterly. How dare you wrap him around your finger, only to break his heart down the line. Upon discovering this, she was unable to take it anymore. Storming into Cabin 10, while the rest of camp was busy at the dining pavilion, Piper found you sitting on your bed, reading, looking annoyingly serene.

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” Piper spat, her voice trembling with barely contained rage.

You looked up slowly, frowning at the harsh tone. “What?"

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know,” Piper snapped, stepping closer. “I know exactly what you’re doing. You’re using Jason, stringing him along, just waiting for the perfect moment to break his heart.”

“Piper, you’re not making any sense. What are you talking about?”

“The rite of passage!” Piper’s voice was rising, her emotions barely under control. “That ridiculous tradition your cabin has where you break someone’s heart to prove yourself. That’s what you’re doing to Jason, isn’t it? You’re leading him on, playing him!”

You sighed, setting your book aside, your patience wearing thin. “Piper, you’re letting your jealousy cloud your judgment. This isn’t about Jason or some old tradition—this is about you not being able to accept that Jason is with someone else.”

Piper’s eyes flashed, her fists clenching at her sides. “Don’t twist this around on me! I’m trying to protect Jason. You’re going to hurt him—I know it. You’ve been manipulating him from the start!”

“No, Piper,” you said firmly, standing to face her. “This is your jealousy talking. You’re so desperate to find something—anything—to make Jason yours that you’re willing to believe whatever makes me the villain. But the only thing you're doing is pushing him away. Accept that he only sees you as a friend."

Although Piper disliked you immensely, that didn't mean you were happy to see your sibling suffer. Love was both a blessing and a curse. While you felt in paradise, basking in Jason's love, Piper suffered from painful, unrequited love.

Piper’s breath caught in her throat, her anger faltering for a moment as your words struck a chord. But she quickly pushed it aside, shaking her head. “That’s not true. I just don’t want to see him get hurt.”

“You don’t want to see him get hurt, or you don’t want to see him happy with someone else?”

Piper’s face flushed with anger and hurt. “I love him! And I know he loves me too, he just doesn’t see it because you’ve blinded him!”

Before the argument could escalate further, the cabin door swung open, and Jason stepped inside, his brow furrowed with confusion. His sharp blue eyes flicked between you and Piper, quickly sensing the tension in the room. “What’s going on?”

Piper turned to him, her desperation clear as she rushed to explain, “Jason, you have to listen to me—M/N’s just using you, manipulating your feelings to pass some sick test!”

Jason’s frown deepened, clearly caught off guard by her accusation. “What are you talking about?”

Piper’s voice cracked, a mix of panic and emotion seeping through as she took another step toward him, her eyes pleading. “That old rite of passage—where a child of Aphrodite has to break someone’s heart. He’s just waiting for the perfect moment to tear you apart. I’m trying to protect you from getting hurt!”

Jason blinked, his confusion gradually giving way to understanding. His posture relaxed as he sighed, but his voice remained firm. “Piper, stop. You’re wrong.”

Piper froze in place, her heart pounding in her chest as Jason’s words sunk in. “What? No, Jason, I’m not wrong! They’re lying to you!”

Jason stepped forward, his gaze steady and unwavering. “No, they’re not. I already know about the rite of passage, Piper. M/N told me about it a long time ago.”

The room seemed to close in on Piper, her world momentarily spinning. “You…you knew?”

Jason nodded slowly. “Yes. And I also know that it was M/N who banned it.”

Piper shook her head, her mind racing as she tried to process what he was saying. “No, that can’t be true. He’s just...how can you be so sure?”

Jason sighed softly, stepping closer to her, his voice quieter but filled with conviction. “Piper, I know you’re trying to protect me, but you have to understand—I know M/N. I know him better than anyone, and he would never hurt me. He loves me too much to do something as horrible as that."

Piper’s eyes darted between the two of you, still filled with confusion and doubt. “But what if you’re wrong? What if—”

“I’m not wrong, Piper,” Jason interrupted gently but firmly, his gaze unwavering. “I trust him completely. He’s never given me a reason to doubt him.”

Piper stood there, frozen for a moment, Jason’s words echoing in her mind. The certainty in his voice, the way he spoke about M/N with such unwavering trust—it hit her like a punch to the gut. Jason was in love with him. Truly, deeply in love.

Her heart cracked. No matter how much she wanted to believe she could change his mind, the reality was staring her in the face: she didn’t stand a chance.

Without saying another word, Piper took a step back, her chest tightening as the weight of her unrequited feelings pressed down on her. She bit her lip to keep the tears from spilling, her pride barely holding together. Then, before either of you could say anything more, she turned on her heel and fled the cabin, the door swinging shut behind her with a soft thud.

Jason stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door, his expression a mixture of regret and sadness. He sighed softly, turning back to you with a look of concern. “I didn’t mean for things to get that heated. I never wanted to hurt her.”

You stepped forward, wrapping your arms around him in a gentle embrace. “She’ll be okay. She just needs time to process everything. It's not easy to get over a crush; I should know.”

Your attempt at a joke landed miserably, but to your relief, Jason let out a small chuckle, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. The tension in the air began to dissipate, replaced by a warmth that enveloped both of you.

“Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you?” he asked, his voice soft and sincere.

“Oh, just like a thousand times,” you replied playfully. “But I also ask myself the same thing: how did I get so lucky as to find you, Jason Grace?”

Smiling up at him, you felt your cheeks heat up as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, gazing at you with quiet admiration. The world around you faded into the background, leaving just the two of you wrapped in this moment. “I don’t deserve you.” he said, a hint of vulnerability in his tone.

You shook your head with a chuckle, determined to dispel his doubts. “You deserve all the good things, Jason.”

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with warmth and affection as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[bbina]

after rereading your conversation with wonbin, the realization dawns upon you that this was the very first time you're inviting someone who isn't giselle, karina and seunghan over at your place

the only reason why you even invited him over in the first place was that he claims that shotaro is currently bringing someone over at their place (whatever the fuck that meant) after asking wonbin if he wanted to watch a movie

you being you, you felt bad that he had no where to go (not really), so you offered your place as wonbin's place of refuge for the meantime

there was a knock on your door. you get up from your bed and open the door slightly to reveal wonbin in a hoodie and glasses. there's something about seeing him in the most casual attire you've seen him so far that made your stomach flutter unexpectedly

"woah!" you react, widening the door to let him in. "i didn't know you wear glasses" you comment, watching him scurry inside your place with his guitar bag on his back

wonbin smiles sheepishly, looking around for some space to settle his bag in without disturbing or touching any of your stuff. he hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should even settle his guitar down but in the end he does when he sees you pointing to an empty spot near the small kitchenette

"i only wear them at night" he explains, rubbing his hands on the fabric of his sweats. "thanks for inviting me over. i didn't really have a plan on where i would be staying"

you wave him off, "talk about good timing. usually around this time we would be watching a movie together so i figured why not text you" you giggle

wonbin smiles and begins to look around to take in his surroundings

you had a pretty good space all to yourself. it wasn't cramped like usual apartments. you had enough room for two people. there was a small kitchenette, a bathroom, a desk space and of course, your bed

"are you judging my cute apartment" you narrow your eyes at wonbin who was busy looking around. wonbin instantly looks at your direction and apologizes

"oh shit sorry. it's just that it's cozy in here" he murmurs, cheeks turning pink from embarrassment

you let out a loud laugh, making your way to your bed and flopping down on it

"then make yourself feel at home" you grin, grabbing your laptop

you don't see it but wonbin nods, quietly sitting on the floor. he keeps his hands to himself, unsure of what to do. he then sees you scrolling through your laptop

"are you working on something?" wonbin asks, breaking the silence, glancing at your laptop screen that had a bunch of different applications open

"just some assignments for my engineering classes but i'm too lazy to do them for now so i'm just procrastinating" you laugh, scrolling through twitter

wonbin nods, unsure of what to say next. he feels skittish for some reason. is it because he's at your place right now? the same place that he's been seeing on facetime every night for the past few days

"you can work on your music here. i don't mind" you remind him, recalling your text earlier

wonbin looks up in surprise. he isn't sure if he's ready for someone else that isn't himself to listen to his unfinished piece. he's still working on finding the perfect melody before he could start making the lyrics and all that

"i don't want to disturb you" wonbin awkwardly says, fidgeting with his hands. wonbin is taken a back when he hears you scoff

"it's fine. i want to listen to you play guitar in real time anyway too so it’s the best of both worlds i think" you chirp, glancing at wonbin who was looking back at you

wonbin chuckles after hearing your reason. he raises his hands up in surrender

"fine if you say so" he says, reaching over for his guitar bag to pull out his guitar

your eyes widened in awe when you see his guitars were filled with stickers

"cute guitar!" you comment, moving close to the edge of your bed so you could see the guitar more up close

wonbin smiles, "thanks. i've been adding stickers to it recently after seeing anton's laptop. you should see it one day, it's absolutely filled with to the brim" he says, picturing anton’s laptop in his head

"if i have a sticker, can i put one?" you ask, reaching over to touch the said stickers on his guitar

"sure thing" he smiles, watching you run your fingers through the endless amount of stickers stuck on his guitar

you pull your arm back as you now wait for wonbin to start playing

while you wait for wonbin, you slowly start to become hyper aware that wonbin is in your apartment right now. you never really invited anyone else over, minus your ex boyfriend of course so this lot feels a little odd to say the least

it feels different in a sense because before the only person you had over that wasn't karina, giselle or seunghan was your now ex boyfriend, gyuvin.

inviting people over to your apartment in general just feels personal, so intimate that you'd let them see the real you

so having wonbin over despite just meeting fairly recently is a huge feat. that means you actually feel comfortable around him to even invite him over in the first place. something that took you a while to even reach with your past lover

hold on, why are you suddenly comparing wonbin and your ex right now?

your train of thought gets interrupted by the sound of wonbin strumming his guitar

your head shoots up hearing the way wonbin effortlessly plays the guitar like it was his second nature. the way his fingers danced over the strings, filling up the whole place with a catchy tune

"funny you said that all the love is gone.." wonbin starts to sing

your eyes widened. this was the very first time you're hearing him sing in person. who knew he would sound better in person than a voice note that he sent a few nights ago. so much that you couldn't take your eyes off of him

wonbin continues to sing effortlessly, even hitting the high notes of the song as you attentively listen to him. once in a while, his eyes would meet yours before returning back to the strings of his guitar causing you to smile wider each time it would happen

"you can have my heart, but baby don't let me down" wonbin finishes, strumming his guitar one last time before finishing the song

you clap your hands together, cheering him for his performance

"oh my god you sound amazing! even better in person!" you gush, praising wonbin like there was no tomorrow. wonbin couldn't help but blush at the amount of compliments you were throwing his way. it feels way different when there's only one person to compliment you instead of a whole block of students

"oh shut up" he murmurs, hiding his face away from you, making you laugh

"hey! you should be thankful i complimented you! i just don't compliment anyone" you laugh, motioning him to not hide his face away from you

you then get the urge to steal his glasses. while he was trying to look away, you take this time to steal them. wonbin eyes widened and lets out a small gasp when you slide his glasses off his face, even more so when he sees you putting them on

"these don't have prescription?" you ask, checking the lenses if they altered your sight

"it's anti blue light radiation" wonbin says, "i'm always on my phone at night so it helps to keep the radiation away from my eyes" he explains, watching you wear his glasses in front of him

wonbin watches the way you were posing in front of him with his chunky frames. the same frames he doesn't wear often, let alone let anyone see him wearing them but yet here he was, wearing them in your presence

he won't lie right now, but you look good wearing his glasses

wonbin mentally slaps himself on the face for even thinking of such thing. to distract himself, he starts to mindlessly play the guitar again. strumming random chords to mask the slight growing tension in the air

"so what song was that you played?" you ask, thinking about how you're gonna add the song he just sang to your playlist

"don't let me down by leroy sanchez" wonbin answers absent mindedly, his focus fixrd on his guitar only

you let out a hum as you continue to listen to wonbin's strumming. this shit could honestly lull you to sleep if you were being honest right now

suddenly, you get an idea

"sit here" you say, patting the spot next to you on the bed

wonbin's eyes almost pop out of their sockets the way you just casually just asked him to sit next to you. he opens his mouth to say something but closes it instantly. making him look like a fish out of water

"teach me how to play please" you plead, pulling the puppy eyes on him (you're not really sure why you did that but whatever)

wonbin gulps, unsure of what to do or say. he's never taught anyone one on one before. let alone the opposite gender

"didn't you say i can ask you to teach me? are you chickening out now, mr. applied music?" you raise an eyebrow, playfully calling him out. if you remembered correctly, he did say you can ask him to teach you

realizing that you were right, he slowly gets up from your floor to sit at the very edge of your bed with his guitar on his lap

you wanted to laugh at how awkward he was. the real life wonbin is so vastly different from his online persona. it's like you were with different wonbin

"i'm not gonna bite you, i promise" you hold in your giggles, watching him act like a robot with the way his moves were calculated. he was far from your reach that your skin wouldn't be touching his

".. sorry. i'm nervous" wonbin manages to choke out, making you burst out giggling

"what's there to be nervous about?!"

"being at your place and all for the first time. sorry, i'm not used to it" he apologizes again

"oh my god. don't apologize. i was just joking" you wave your hands. who knew wonbin would be the one that's easily flustered in real life, "so when do we start our lesson?"

wonbin snaps out of his little daze after hearing your question. right, he was gonna teach you how to play guitar. that's why he's sitting on your bed, in your apartment, for the first time

he carefully moves his guitar from his lap onto yours. you happily accept the guitar as you put your arms where they should be when it comes to handling guitars

wonbin looks at the way you were holding his guitar before he fixes your position. he gently moves your arm a bit where they would be comfortably holding the neck of his guitar. your skin feels like it was on fire with just his gentle grazes

"you hold it like that" he says softly, eyes fixated on your arm

you nod your head yes, forcing yourself to concentrate while you wait for the next instruction

"now i'm gonna teach you the three basic chords. it's C major, D major and F major" wonbin starts, trying to reenact how he would hold it so he could move your fingers

you couldn't help but look at wonbin's face the way he was calmly teaching you the mere basics of the guitar. the way he was so focused and totally in his element. you almost feel a little distracted at the sight. the way his eyebrows were furrowed, eyes focused on your hands. the way his plump lips slowly jutted out as he concentrates–

wonbin looks at you for permission before moving your fingers to the right placements for the first chord he was teaching you which was C major. you smile, letting him take control. he fingers wrap around yours and gently moves your fingers into the right position, causing you to blush a little at the close proximity

"now strum" he instructs and you do

you let out a little squeal when you hear the chord you were strumming

"i just played a note!" you gush, repeatedly strumming to hear the same chord over and over again

"yes you did. good job" wonbin laughs. the way you were so excited despite it being the most basic thing in the world was infectious to wonbin

"now i'll teach you D major and F major" wonbin says, moving onto the next part of his little makeshift lesson

it goes on like this for what seems like a while. just wonbin teaching you the basics of guitar

you've been going at it for a while now that you can feel your fingers start to hurt from pressing down on the strings

wonbin senses that you were about to give up the way you kept hissing and looking at your fingers that now had dents on them from pressing the strings too hard. he wordlessly gets the guitar off your lap

"okay lesson is over for today. i'll teach you again next time" wonbin says

you let out a sigh of relief as you lie down on your back. you raised your hands up in the air, relaxing your fingers after holding them in the different and difficult positions (for a beginner like you) for a while

"my fingers hurt" you pout, complaining at the dull ache. who knew playing guitar for the first time would actually hurt?

wonbin laughs, and steals a glance

"it's not for the weak" he comments, snickering to himself when he notices you sit back up and frown at him

"you calling me weak?" you challenge, an eyebrow raised as you attempt to stare him down which only just makes wonbin laugh harder

"that was just the basics. how much more if we continued onto a more complicated lesson" wonbin muses

"then that means you just suck at teaching!" you retort, poking your tongue out at him. wonbin snorts and legitimately laughs out loud. his laugh was so contagious that you also started laughing

when both of your laughter slowly dies down, the room falls silent again but it was the silence that you always somehow find yourself in with wonbin. the comfortable kind of silence

you've never felt more at ease in times like this. which in most cases, it’s rare. usually if it falls silent in a group setting, there would be awkward pauses or awkward stares but with wonbin, it just feels different

wonbin starts to play the guitar again. soft music becoming background noise that compliments your shared silence. the gentle strumming that's creating some sort of bubble between the two of you

you smile as you slowly scoot next to him, your head barely above his shoulder as you lean over to watch his fingers dance on the strings again

"i don't think i'll ever get tired of telling you that you play so well" you murmur, glancing at wonbin, whose gaze is fixated on his guitar. wonbin suddenly looks up and you two make eye contact

you suddenly remembered that you were wearing his glasses so you take them off and slowly but carefully put them back on his face. you feel yourself smile as you gently adjust his glasses on his nose while he was busy strumming away on his guitar

your fingers linger on his face for more than a second and your eyes meet again. you can feel that there was a shift in the air. almost like there was a spark between the two of you. so much that you wonder if wonbin feels it too

wonbin bites his lip, ignoring the way he can feel your body heat with the way you were suddenly so close to him. he’s suddenly hyper aware of his surroundings especially when you two are on your bed

it feels like the world has suddenly stopped spinning for the both of you. the tension was so palpable that it feels so intimate

maybe it’s the way that you are so close to wonbin that it was slowly driving him insane. he suddenly stops playing as he couldn't concentrate anymore. his thoughts infiltrated by you

you’re all he could think about in this very moment. the way you’re up in his personal space, the way you’re suddenly the only person he can think of, the way you look so kissable right here, right now

wait a second, kissable?

you and wonbin make eye contact again. there was a glint of something you couldn't pinpoint in his gaze that it made your heart pound against your chest

is it just you or did the room suddenly feel hot? was the ac not working?

"can i kiss you?" wonbin suddenly blurts out in the heat of the moment

the air around you was thick with tension. both hearts hammering against your chests. wonbin's eyes flickered back and forth from your eyes to your lips as you stare at him in shock

you sit there in front of him dumbfounded by his sudden question. it was like the air was knocked out of your lungs

wonbin sets the guitar aside, his eyes still directed towards yours. you can see the way his gaze darkened at that very moment like he just found his prey. which in this case, was you

slowly the realization was slowly catching up to him. wonbin internally winces at the way he asked so casually and direct

he can feel his heart stuck on his throat as he anticipated your answer. he was silently wishing you'd say yes because if you were to reject then well.. this is awkward–

"i thought you'd never ask" you say quietly, voice barely above a whisper, leaning closer and closer til you can feel his hot breath fan your face

he lets out a shaky exhale of relief at your answer as he slowly reaches to cup your cheeks

"is that a yes?" wonbin asks in a low voice, eyes directly boring into your soul

instead of answering, you crashed your lips against his.

alone together ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 . . . different

── taking comfort in the thought that you are together in aloneness through late night talks, heartfelt confessions, and a genuine connection. with your shared experience of recent heartbreaks, you wonder if getting together would be all worth it. in which you find solace in each other's company, that you are alone together.

⋆｡˚ prev | next ˚｡

꩜ notes .ᐟ did i jus change the trajectory of their lives forever

꩜ taglist .ᐟ @onlywonb @rosesfortaro @starwonb1n @wonychu @totheseok @dolloie @hyunjinsnumberonefun @binluvsu @onlyhyunjin @annswwa @wonbinsvlle @hakkkuu @ilovejungwonandhaechan @artstaeh @lecheugo @odxrilove @bunni @saranghoeforanton @nujeskz @nakam00t @kyusqult @nctsshoes2 @revehosh @s9nwoo @daegale @palchokitty @dutifullyannoyingfox @oshakyao @koryutte @b-riize @meowbini @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @winuvs @i03jae @rsatoru @enhacolor @dalliesque @sweetiejaeyun @dearestjake @cupidslovearrows @sasfransisco @kkumistars @sngj08 @taroddori @nshmurarki @ennycutie @ffixtionista @koeuh @astro-doll-the-star @amouriu

[curse-of-dming-strahd]

there are so many things in Strahd's "how to do combat good" section I want to pick at but let's start with some of my notes on his spell list

Mage Hand: Sometimes Strahd is lazy and doesn't want to pick things up. Combine with Greater Invisibility for shenanigans.

Prestidigitation: This is for instantly cleaning whatever drink some PC has tried to throw in his face.

Ray of Frost: The damage is ok but more importantly as long as he hits, the target's speed is reduced by 10 with no save, very nice.

Comprehend Languages: If my party gets clever and tries to talk in code or something I think he can pop this off to fix that.

Fog Cloud: Imposes disadvantage to attack for everyone in the cloud, does technically break line of sight. so against a higher-level party I think this is to give his allies a chance to get out of melee without having to waste an action disengaging (still a gamble), or use this if he's out of Invisibility, or toss this in a room the party is trying to bunker up in, forcing the party to decide between sitting in a disadvantage cloud, wasting time dispelling it, or leaving their safe space.

Sleep: On the worst possible roll and aimed at only one target, this is guaranteed to affect a creature with 5HP or less. It averages about 20-22HPs but that number's not assured. Best use is putting someone on watch to sleep at early levels, or targeting low HP NPCs where he actually wants to avoid doing damage, like Ireena.

Detect Thoughts: Fantastic for interacting with NPCs in a non-violent encounter but it's an obvious casting and only lasts for 1 minute so he's got to be strategic about casting ahead of time.

Gust of Wind: Priority should go to Mirror Image because Gust of Wind is not guaranteed to succeed, but if a player is dumb enough to stand within 10 feet of a 100ft drop I say go off queen (off the side of a building, GOODBYE)

Mirror Image: CAST ASAP the only thing worse than one Strahd laughing at you is four Strahds laughing at you and it's not a concentration spell.

Animate Dead: listen everything at 3rd level is going to have to compete with Fireball. but possibly might be worth it to give him something to do with his bonus action if Animate Objects isn't working out. skeleton with a ranged attack and partial cover is better than zombie that'll get ripped apart in melee immediately. he's got to keep that skelly within 60ft though. and if the party takes Counterspell it's.... listen this slot's probably going to get used for Fireball.

Fireball: FIGHT OPENER. CAST CENTERED ON SELF. EAT 30 DAMGE FOR BREAKFAST. FALL THROUGH THE FLOOR LAUGHING. HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT WELCOME TO HELL MOTHERFUCKERS IT'S FIREBALL. but seriously cast early when the floor isn't crawling with allies and then reserve one 3rd level spell slot for when the party has killed off most of his allies. doesn't require line of sight so he can cast this from a separate floor.

Nondetection: Might use this if the party gets tricky or he needs to hide something he stole from them but on Boss Fight Day this slot goes to Fireball and that's just how things have to be.

Blight: I mean this is basically Fireball with worse range, only one target, and it makes all your houseplants die.

Greater Invisibility: God the shenanigans I could get up to with Invisible Strahd. Oooh the possibilities. Ooooh they're so delicious. Anyway fuck yeah this spell rocks. Get out of sight, go invisible. Think Rahadin is bad? Now he's invisible! NIGHTMARE HORSE? WHAT HORSE? I LOVE THIS SPELL OK

Polymorph: I want to love polymorph but if they make their wisdom save you've wasted a slot you could have used to make yourself invisible. I can't even pretend he'd be gay and use this to help Rahadin one of his nebulous allies turn into a bird to get away from certain death or something bc it's a concentration spell so if the spell drops early it's like well fuck he got 50ft and then turned back into a guy :/ He ain't above turning a low-level PC into a bat though. That'd be fun.

Animate Objects: POP OFF IMMEDIATELY get that action economy on your side, animate a gargoyle, a suit of armor, and like 6 candelabras you tacky bitch. Again, gives him a bonus action and as long as he stays within 120ft he's solid. Earlier is better because later in the fight he needs that concentration for Greater Invisibility.

Scrying: I mean non-combat obviously but he's using this every damn day to spy on the party through NPCs he's familiar with that he knows are near the PCs, or locations he knows they're staying in. I'm sure that's his like, before-bed routine. Brush his teeth. Exfoliate. Scry on the party. Soothing.

[theonottsbxtch]

Hello! I would like to ask a Latina reader with bf Max where is Christmas’s and her aunts keeps asking her where the boyfriend at and why she doesn’t have a boyfriend until max shows up and greets everyone, also can we make her cousins fans of f1, can everything be based in Mexico? Please wand thank you, this is my first request and I’m kinda excited, I love your writing! ❤️

MI NOVIO, MAX VERSTAPPEN | MV1

an: nonnie this was such a lovely request, thank you! i hope you like it and i hope i lived up to your standards. it was the first thing i saw when i woke up this morning and i've was slowly working on it throughout the day. i hope that this lets you build the confidence to send more requests through! also all this spanish knowledge is from when i did spanish 5 years ago in school so i apologise if its bad/if the mexican traditions are incorrect!

requests: open

wc: 2.5k

When Max had told you he couldn’t make Christmas you weren’t that upset, at first. But the longer you spent in Mexico while he was in Monaco, the more you were beginning to feel the sadness seep into your bones. 

Walking home arm in arm with your mama after midnight mass, you laid your head on her shoulder, looking up at the stars as they were twinkling in the overhead sky. 

“Hija, when are you going to bring someone home?” Your mama asked, looking down at you. This was the one topic you wanted to avoid this Christmas. While you knew that it was bound to come up, missing Max and the classic yearly conversation weren’t a good mix. Before you could stop them, you could feel the tears line your lower lash line. 

“No sé mama (i don't know mum)” you muttered. You and Max had first started dating about two and a half years ago, but there was a commitment with bringing home, a commitment you weren’t too sure either of you could handle. Bringing home made it almost permanent and while you knew you and Max were going to be permanent. You didn’t if he was ready for that. 

No matter how many times he said he was ready, there was something about introducing him to your family and culture that didn’t sit right with you. To start, he wasn’t Mexican and you weren’t too sure how your mama would react to that. Second, you knew that if you brought him over once, your mama would want him to come all the time and with the schedule he had, you didn't want him to feel forced to do anything he didn’t want to do. 

“Tu hermana, she has Léo. Y tu hermano, he has Rebecca.” She stated, you knew where she was going with this. “I don’t want you to be alone.” 

“I’m okay mama, I promise” you said, looking away from the sky for a second and looking at her, praying she didn’t notice the way your eyes were sparkling. 

“Ay, please don’t think I am forcing you hija. I just want you to be happy.” She rubbed your arm in comfort. 

Just as you opened your mouth to answer, your sister let go of her husband’s arm and came barrelling towards you and your mother. “Mama, please don’t tell me you’re pestering her about a boyfriend again” 

“I am not!” Your mum huffed. 

“You totally were! Leave her alone, mama. She’s happy, she’s working in France. What more could you want?” She chided, unlike you, your elder sister never had a problem with telling your mother the facts as they were. In fact, she was the only one who knew about you and Max. The only one out of your hundreds of family members. Pulling you away, she linked her arm in yours and walked a step further from your mother.

“You’ll have to tell her one day, you know.” She said softly, “you can’t keep hiding him out of fear that he’ll break up with you the minute you show him your family.” 

“I don’t think he’s ready.”

“Have you asked him, I’m sure he’d disagree if you asked.” The way your sister said that made you feel stupid. It was such a simple task, but you didn’t know how to go about it. 

“Look, manita . It’s Christmas. We’re about to have a very long dinner. I miss him and would like it if we stopped talking about him.” You rushed out, it was better said that way. 

Huffing out a dramatic huff, she pushed a piece of hair that had fallen into your eyes away. “Whatever you say, chiquita.” 

By the time you’d reached your family home, the place was bustling with action. From your little cousins running in between the elders legs as they helped set up the table to your grandparents shouting from the sofa in front of their telenovela. 

“Abeula, come eat.” You called out to your grandmother who was slowly getting up from her seat directly in front of the television. 

Before you, the table was covered in a variety of your favourite foods; tamales, buñuelos and romeritos. It was a sight to take in, this was why you didn’t mind the 12 hour flight every christmas. The table has fifteen odd seats that were rapidly filled with all your grandparents, both you parents, two siblings and their partners, and your three elder cousins. Besides the big table, there was a smaller table with six seats for all your little cousins, who themselves were already digging into their food before making their prayer.

At the head of your table, your abuelo linked his hands with either abuelo and abuela on each side and waited for all of you to link hands.”Bendícenos Señor, y bendice estos alimentos que vamos a recibir, y que nunca falte en nuestra mesa el pan de cada día."

Once the prayer was over, you muttered a quick “Gracias a Dios” and tucked into your food. You were surrounded by the sounds of laughter and conversation, but your mind kept wandering to Monaco. To him. It had been weeks since you last saw each other, the time difference making your late-night calls even harder to sustain. You had both promised to make it work over this Christmas period, but the ache in your chest hadn’t lessened. It was always there, especially now, as you sat at this table surrounded by family, feeling like a piece of you was missing.

The food was delicious—the tamales were just as perfect as you remembered, the buñuelos warm and crispy, their sweetness filling the room—but even the familiar flavours couldn’t fully shake the quiet sadness. You poked at the romeritos on your plate, trying to focus on the sounds of your little cousins giggling at their own table, but it was impossible to ignore the empty feeling you were cradling in you. He should be here.

“Are you okay?” your sister whispered beside you, nudging your arm. She always knew when something was off.

“Yeah, just tired,” you mumbled, managing a weak smile. You knew she wasn’t convinced, but thankfully it was believable since it was almost one in the morning.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was loud enough to catch everyone’s attention, and for a moment, the table fell silent, all heads turning toward the front of the house.

Your mamá began to rise from her seat, but your sister shot up faster, her movements quick and purposeful.

“I’ll get it!” she said with a wide grin that you couldn’t quite understand.

Confused, you glanced at her. “Why are you so—?”

“Why don’t you open it?” she interrupted, her eyes sparkling with something mischievous. Before you could protest, she was already pulling you up by the arm, practically dragging you toward the door.

“Manita, what—” You barely had time to question her as you stumbled toward the front of the house, your heart suddenly racing. Your fingers hesitated on the doorknob, a strange sense of nervousness washing over you.

With a deep breath, you twisted the knob, and as the door creaked open, your world stopped.

There he was—Max—standing on the doorstep, dressed in his classic white shirt and jeans, his suitcase at his feet, looking ridiculous compared to you in your nice dress. His face was lit up with the biggest smile you had ever seen, his eyes bright with excitement. The warm Mexican air framed him, but all you could feel was the warmth that flooded your chest the moment your eyes met his.

“Feliz Navidad,” he said softly, his Spanish still as atrocious as when you’d last seen him, his voice full of affection.

For a second, you just stood there, frozen in disbelief. Your mind struggled to catch up with your heart, which was already racing. Max was here. After all those weeks apart, after all the lonely nights spent staring at your phone—he was actually here.

Without another thought, you flung yourself into his arms, tears welling up in your eyes as you buried your face in his chest. The warmth of his embrace was overwhelming, and the scent of his cologne—a familiar mix of cedar and something faintly sweet—was like coming home.

“You’re here,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you clung to him tightly. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

He kissed the top of your head, his arms wrapping securely around you as if he never wanted to let go. “I told you I wouldn’t miss this. I needed to be with you, liefje.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you pulled back just enough to look up at him, your hand trembling as you brushed your fingers along his cheek, making sure this wasn’t a dream. He smiled down at you, his eyes full of nothing but love, and you couldn’t help but laugh through the tears.

“I can’t believe you did this,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I couldn’t wait any longer,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to be here with you.”

The two of you stood there, wrapped up in each other, for what felt like forever—until you suddenly remembered where you were. Slowly, you pulled away, wiping at your tears as you turned back toward the dining room. Your entire family was staring at the two of you, some with their mouths slightly open, others exchanging curious glances.

Your mamá stood at the head of the table, her arms crossed, her brow furrowed in a mix of surprise and confusion. Your abuelo looked over his glasses at the scene, clearly intrigued, while your little cousins whispered to each other at their table, giggling at the sudden interruption, some looking at you in shock as they recognised him.

Your sister, on the other hand, was beaming like a Cheshire cat, clearly enjoying every second of your flustered reaction. She gave you a subtle thumbs up behind your boyfriend’s back.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to face your family, feeling your cheeks heat up under their curious stares. “Um... everyone,” you began, your voice shaky. “This is mi novio, Max.”

You could see the shock ripple through the room like a wave. The word boyfriend hung in the air, and for a moment, no one said anything. You hadn’t told anyone about him yet, only your sister knew, as of three months ago when she started snooping and realised you were no longer living in France but in Monaco. Your relationship had been something you wanted to keep just for yourself for a little while longer. But now, here he was, standing in the middle of your family’s Christmas dinner, a smile on his face as he awkwardly waved at your relatives.

“I wanted to introduce him sooner,” you continued nervously, glancing at your mamá, who was still looking at him, studying him. “But... surprise?”

The silence stretched for another second before your mamá’s face softened. She slowly approached, eyeing Max from head to toe, and you held your breath, waiting for her reaction.

Finally, she smiled, a warm, genuine smile that made your heart swell. “Bienvenido,” she said, her voice kind as she reached out to embrace him. “Welcome to the family.”

Max looked slightly taken aback but quickly returned the embrace, his smile widening. “Thank you, Señora,” he said, his accent endearing as he stumbled over the Spanish.

Just as your mamá let go of Max, the room settled into a brief moment of quiet. Your abuelo was still smiling warmly at him, your cousins exchanging glances, when suddenly, your little cousin Mateo, the one with the wild mop of curls and boundless energy, jumped up from his seat at the kids’ table.

“¡Espera! (wait!)” Mateo shouted, his eyes wide as saucers, pointing directly at Julien. “¡Lo conozco! (i know him!)”

Everyone turned to look at Mateo, confusion washing over the room. Max raised an eyebrow, half-smiling, clearly unsure of what was happening.

Mateo’s excitement was contagious, and before anyone could say anything, he ran around the big table and skidded to a stop in front of Max, his hands on his hips like a detective who had just solved the case of the century.

“¡Eres tú! ¡Tú eres Max Verstappen! The Formula One driver! I saw you on TV in Abu Dhabi with Papá!” he exclaimed, his voice practically shaking with enthusiasm.

There was a collective intake of breath as everyone slowly started to understand what Mateo was saying. Your abuelo’s eyes widened, and your mamá’s hand flew to her mouth in surprise.

Max chuckled softly, glancing down at Mateo with a grin. “That’s right,” he said, squatting down to Mateo’s level. “You watch Formula One?”

Mateo nodded furiously, his eyes practically sparkling. “I love it! My papá and I watch all the races! You’re so fast! You won the championship!” His words were coming out so quickly, you weren’t sure he was breathing.

Max laughed, the sound warm and genuine. “I did, maybe one day I can show you the trophy!”

Mateo looked up at you, then back at Max, his expression suddenly turning serious. “Wait... you are his girlfriend?” he asked, pointing at you with wide eyes, as if he couldn’t believe his cousin was dating a Formula One World Champion.

You blushed, nodding sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s me.”

Mateo’s jaw dropped. “No way!” he whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. “You never told us you were dating a Formula One driver! Why didn’t you say anything?”

Before you could answer, the room erupted into laughter, your cousins and siblings throwing questions at you all at once.

"How long have you been dating him?"

"Is he as fast in person as he is on TV?"

"Wait, does this mean you get to go to all the races?"

Your mamá, still a bit wide-eyed, looked at Max in awe. “Un piloto de Fórmula Uno... Wow,” she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. Then, her expression softened again, a proud smile spreading across her face as she turned to you. "Mira a mi hija, con un piloto famoso." (look at my daughter, with a famous driver.)

Max smiled at your mamá, standing back up and pulling you close to his side. "She’s the real big thing," he said, his arm wrapping protectively around your waist.

Your heart swelled at his words, and you leaned into him, grateful that your family was slowly warming up to the whirlwind surprise.

Mateo, still in shock, tugged on Max’s sleeve, his face beaming with excitement. “Can I get your autograph later? I have all the Formula One cards!”

Max laughed again, ruffling Mateo’s hair. “Of course, mate. Anything for mi amore’s family.”

As Mateo ran back to his seat to excitedly tell the other cousins who his new hero was, the entire room buzzed with energy, the surprise turning into the kind of joyous chaos that only a big family dinner could have. Your abuelo poured another round of drinks, your mamá called for everyone to sit back down and finish the meal, and you couldn’t help but smile as Max pulled your chair out for you, his hand brushing yours as you both returned to the table. Something about the scene felt so domestic that you couldn’t remember why you didn’t want to introduce him in the first place. 

“Feliz Navidad Mi Amor (merry christmas, my love),” you whispered to him as he took in the scene in front of him.

"Vrolijk Kerstfeest schatje. (merry christmas sweetheart)” he replied, placing a soft kiss on your temple.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

swift revenge

Summary: Taking out a threat of a big group of raiders one of Jackson Patrol groups had spotted the day before, leaves Joel finding someone form his past he thought had been dead for over twenty years.

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 3.2k

Rating: M

Warnings: post outbreak, raiders, holding people in cages, sexual trafficking, implied sexual abuse, angst, dark themes, reunion, feral Joel taking immediate revenge when he finds out what had been done to reader, reader is Joel's pre outbreak fiancé, blood, little bit of gore

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

Full Masterlist // Joel Miller Masterlist

"Who did this to you" Drabbles

There were many, many things he could be doing right now. 

He could be at home. He could be sitting in front of his fire place, in the warmth, reading a book or enjoying a glass of shitty whiskey. 

He could try to talk to Ellie again, maybe talk her into playing the guitar with him again. 

Hell, he’d rather be working in the kitchens, enduring the trash talk of the kitchen staff, than riding through this fucking snow storm with a group of the patrol men and women, riding towards the outer parts to a small town where another patrol group had spotted raiders the day before. 

He knew that if they had been sent out through this weather, these raiders must be a real threat. 

And while he knew he was one of the most trusted and capable patrol group members, he was getting tired. 

The last two years in Jackson had made him grew comfortable. Maybe even a little lazy at times. He wasn’t getting any younger.

Sometimes he wondered how his life would be right now, if the outbreak hadn’t happened.

If he would still be living in his house in Austin. Maybe he would have got into Sarah’s pleas and put a pool in the backyard. 

Maybe his baby girl would have found someone and gotten married. Hell, maybe he’d be a grandpa by now. 

And you… maybe he would have gotten to marry you. Make a home with you. Have another kid or two….

He shook his head, his eyes blinking back into reality. 

„Approach with caution. Will and Emma spotted at least six people before they retreated. They chose the big school that we cleared some months ago as their shelter. There might be more people inside. We gonna meet up with the second patrol group in the woods behind the school and then decide how we carry on,“ Tommy instructed the group of eight people Joel was part of. 

Joel took a deep breath before he rode forwards, next to his brother. 

„How bad do you think it is?“ He asked, hearing Tommy sigh. 

„William said they saw how three men dragged a woman from inside and… you can imagine. Dunno what else is waiting inside. I don’t like it. But they got to close to Jackson. Gotta take care of them,“ he said. 

„Think we could get into the school through the barricaded basement?“ Joel asked, hearing Tommy hum. 

„Possibly. Let’s check in with the other group. They have been watching them for the last four hours,“ Tommy said. Joel nodded. 

„Hey uh… You okay? You seem… dunno quieter today,“ Tommy said, looking up at Joel from where he was riding next to him. 

Joel released a long breath.

„It’s her birthday today,“ he said quietly and Tommy raised his eyebrows before a sad smile came to his lips. 

„You gonna be okay?“ Tommy asked and Joel gave him a half smile. 

„Don’t have another choice, huh?“ He shrugged and Tommy pressed his lips together in a tight smile. 

„We should get a drink after. To celebrate her,“ Tommy said. 

Joel nodded. 

„I’d like that.“

There were definitely more than six people inside this school. Thankfully the basement entrance had still been barricaded, so they could enter the school quietly without alerting anyone inside.

But what they encountered once they made their way upstairs was unlike he had ever seen.

These people must have been here for a while.

And they were monsters. 

Cages were set up, women chained inside, with only either their head or their legs sticking out and Joel could only imagine what these monsters had been doing to them. 

He was still trying to form a plan when the first shot rang out. 

The following minutes where a blur. He had lost count of the amount of men he had killed as he made his way towards the other side of the room, still keeping an eye on the patrol group and his brother who was right beside him, taking the threats out until only three of the raiders were left, now tied up to a pole close to the staircase, William, one of the first patrol men, keeping an eye on them, gun pointed at them. 

Joel closed his eyes, his gun still in his hand as he searched for his brother who was already walking towards him. 

„How many?“ Joel asked. 

„Counted around 20 including the three that are still alive,“ he said, bending down to clean his knife from blood using the shirt of one of the dead men laying on the ground. 

Joel sighed. 

„I don’t like this,“ he said.

„Me neither. Might need some help with getting some answers out of the rest. Wanna know if there are more and how they found this place,“ Tommy said and Joel nodded. 

„What about…?“ Joel gestured around them, counting six cages. He hadn’t looked closer at who was inside. 

Tommy rubbed his fingers over his nose in deep thought. 

„Offer them to join Jackson. Don’t think they gonna trust us though. Can only imagine what these monsters put them through. Might need to send for some women from Jackson. We only have Emma here to talk to them and you know they probably do not trust men. I wouldn’t either,“ Tommy said.

Joel sighed, letting his gaze drift through the room that must have been the cafeteria before the outbreak. 

He would never understand just how much the outbreak changed people. Or more like… let them live their true self without having to think of the aftermath of their actions. 

„We gonna search the rooms on this level first and the rest of the building for more people and then I’m gonna send three people back to Jackson to get some more people and horses over here,“ Tommy said and Joel nodded. Tommy gave him a tired smile before he turned away from him and walked towards some patrol member to instruct them about what to do

Joel walked towards the first dead person laying on the ground, searching through his clothes. He hated this part, but it was important. More than once the stuff people had on them had given him clues to other threats that were around.

He was checking the third person when he heard Tommy call out for him. 

Joel grabbed the ammo he had found and walked towards his brother who was standing at one of the more closed caged. They were build rather amateurish with some wood and some barbed wire on the top. He tried to school his face into a neutral one when he approached, pointedly ignoring the filthy line of what could only be dried cum dripping down what looked like a improvised flap in the door, next to where Tommy was standing in the opened door to the cage. 

Tommy looked at Joel with an expression he had never seen before. Fear, surprise, pity?

„What’s going on?“ Joel asked and he saw Tommy send two of the patrol men away who had been standing next to him. 

Joel joined Tommy at the opened door, Tommy’s lips opening and closing without any words coming out before he finally just nodded his head towards the cage where Joel could see a woman sit in the corner, her back towards them. 

She was hiding, making herself as small as possible.

Her hair was long and matted, laying over her shoulder, almost reaching down to the ground.

„Tommy…“ Joel began, wanting to ask what the fuck was going on when the woman turned her head towards them, bright wide eyes looking directly at them.

It was like his body knew, before his brain did. 

His heart rate going up, his hands clenching into fists. His breathing quickened and he only realised he had lost his balance when he felt Tommy’s arm behind his back, holding him up.

He knew those eyes. 

He saw them in his dreams during good nights when he woke up in his old home, in his old bed, in her arms.

He saw them in his nightmares during bad nights when he imagined the million ways she had possibly died. 

He whispered your name and could see your head tilting, your eyes still on him. He didn’t know how long you just stared at each other before something in your face changed, your bottom lip trembling.

„Joel?“

Through the fog inside your brain, it took a while to realise that the man standing in the opened door of what had been your prison for weeks (or months) was not your in your imagination. 

He looked older, and for a small moment you were angry that even after more than twenty years and a whole fucking apocalypse Joel Miller still looked like he stepped straight out of a wet dream. 

You hugged yourself tighter, still cowering in the corner furthest from the door, your feelings overwhelming you. 

You mourned him. 

All this time you had mourned him.

You had been at his parents ranch near Nashville to prepare the birthday party of his mother the following week, Joel, Sarah and Tommy due to arrive the day after Joel’s birthday.

Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine waking up during the night having to kill both your future mother and father in law, both of them infected. 

For days after you were in shock, hiding in the old bunker under the barn, thankful for Joel’s dad being a little bit of a prepper.

You eventually, after waiting for weeks, made your way to a QZ, not knowing that only days after Joel would have made his way to his childhood home in the hope of finding you. 

You learned quickly that the QZ was your personal hell and you took the first real chance of something better to get out. 

And life was good for a while after that. You joined a community near Denver. You even made your way back to Austin, spending more time than you probably should have searching for even the smallest sign that Joel and Sarah had survived. But you found your old home abandoned. The cabinets picked over.

You had locked yourself into your old bedroom, allowing yourself to cry over the things you lost, before you took some pieces to take with you. 

One of Joel’s shirts and his aftershave that was still halfway full.

A picture of you, Joel and Sarah that had been taken on the day he had asked you to marry him. 

Once you got back to the community life moved on. 

But your luck had to run out sooner or later and after you community fell, you had been taken hostage and deemed to be left alive to… entertain the raiders who had burned down your home. 

You didn’t even know how long you had been with them. 

You didn’t know how long it had been since they had taken you. It could be months or years. 

You grew numb after a while. It was the only way to endure their abuse on your mind and body. 

The only way to survive was to flee into your imagination. 

And Joel was always there. 

You jumped when he took a step forward, his hands outstretched in a calming manner.

„Joel?“ You whispered again, tears filling your eyes. 

„It’s me Darlin’. Can I come over to you?“ He asked, and hearing his voice made the first tears escape. 

You slowly shook your head and he stopped, looking at you with concern. 

„I’m… Are you really here?“ You whispered. You could see him gulp, his eyes closing for a moment before he nodded. 

„I’m here. I’m really here. I…“ he shook his head, looking around before he looked back at you and slowly took his coat off. 

„It’s cold and you’re…. Can I put this on you?“ He asked, holding out his coat. 

You shook your head. 

„I’m filthy and I… You don’t…“ you were overwhelmed, not knowing what to do. 

„I don’t care about that Darlin’. I just want you to be comf…. I don’t want you to be cold,“ he said, approaching you slowly, like he would a frightened deer. As if you would jump away if he moved to quickly. 

„Okay,“ you whispered and he let out a relieved breath before he got closer to you.

„Let me help you,“ he whispered and you took a deep breath, closing your eyes as you turned towards him, your muscles spasming as you moved them, letting him slowly help you into his coat. You heard his sharp inhale the moment he saw what they did to you, the many many scars covering your whole chest, your whole body really, his breath stuttering for a moment before he slowly zipped up his coat and you couldn’t stop yourself as you let yourself fall against his chest. His arms pulling you against him immediately. 

You cried against his chest until you had no more tears left. 

When you finally looked up at him he was already looking at you.

Those big brown eyes you had fallen in love with looking at you with concern and wonder.

He reached out slowly, giving you time to turn away before his fingers slowly brushed over your cheek, the palm of his hand slowly coming to rest against your cheek and you leaned into his touch. 

„Sweetheart,“ he whispered and you closed your eyes. 

„Who did this to you?“ He asked and you released a shaky breath, opening your eyes again. 

„Who… Who hurt you like that? Who…. Who did this to you? Please tell me,“ he was almost begging, and you could see how he was restraining himself to keep calm. There was something lingering in his eyes that should scare you, but instead you found comfort in it. 

„Everyone. They all…“ you stopped yourself, one of your hands coming up to press against your chest, a move that you used to calm yourself down. 

You felt something drop down on your hand, looking up to find a tear drip down Joel’s cheek. 

„Tommy,“ he said and you were confused for a moment before someone else walked into your cell, and there was Tommy Miller, who you had not realised had been there before.

„Hi,“ he smiled warmly at you and you awkwardly smiled back, not having used these muscles in a long time. 

„Tommy is gonna stay with you,“ Joel said and you looked at Joel with wide eyes, your fingers digging into his arms, not wanting him to leave. 

„No… No… No you need to stay…. I need you to….“ You panicked. 

„Shhh…. Sweetheart. I’ll be right back. I just need…. I just need to punch one of these people in the face before I….“ You could feel him shaking beneath you in barely contained fury. 

„Joel,“ you whispered, and he finally looked at you. 

„Can you…. Can you take me away form here?“ You asked, voice quiet, barely above a whisper.

He took a deep calming breath before he looked at Tommy. 

„I’m okay to go back home?“ He asked. Tommy nodded. 

„Okay. Okay….“ He said, more to himself before he looked back at you. 

„I’m gonna take you home,“ he said.

When you slowly made your way towards the exit he picked two blankets, pulling them around your shoulders. You looked around the room, finding so many of the men who had made your life a living hell for so long lying dead on the floor. 

But it were the very alive bright blue eyes of one of the men, Gabriel, who had loved to use his knife on you most, that were looking at you that made you shrink back against Joel, your steps faltering. 

„Ah I see how it is. Kill all of my men and then steal the tightest pussy right under my nose. Fucking assholes,“ he spat and you turned away from him, hiding against Joel.

„Tommy,“ he hissed under his breath and you found yourself in the other mans arms the next moment. You looked after Joel, internally already panicking about seeing him walk away from you, before he picked up one of the axes that had been used for firewood. 

„So you just pick up women and rape them because you feel like it huh?“ Joel asked as he walked towards him. 

„I mean Yeah,“ Gabriel shrugged.

Joel nodded, coming to a stop right in front of him. 

„And I’m gonna continue to fucking do it once I get out of here,“ he said and Joel chuckled.

„You think you’re getting out of here? Really?“ Joel asked, the handle of the axe now resting on top of his shoulder. 

„Had worse odds. Some of our guys are still out, scavenging. They gonna be back and then we gonna kill you. And then we gonna get to your little community and take over…“ he said, confidence pouring out of every pore of this disgustingly excuse of a human. 

„Oh yeah? What makes you think we haven’t killed all 27 of them already?“ Joel asked and Gabriel’s smile slowly disappeared. 

„Huh? Not so sure you gonna get out of here now? You think we’re amateurs? The rest of your men are right outside. Dead,“ Joel mocked.

„Please I….“

„Tell you what. I’ll let you go,“ Joel said and you stilled. You could still feel Tommy with his arm around you, keeping you close.

Gabriel didn’t say anything, just looking up at Joel. 

„Under one condition though,“ Joel’s lips twitched into a frightening smile. 

„What is it?“ Gabriel asked and Joel called for another man, whispering something in his ear, the other man nodding. 

„You really should look away now,“ Tommy said to you and you looked up at him. 

„Why?“ You asked. Tommy only shook his head but you looked back to Joel anyway just in time when Gabriel started yelling. 

The man Joel had whispered to was pulling at Gabriels pants until he was naked from the waist down. Two other men came and grabbed Gabriel who was now screaming. They pulled him up, carrying him over to a table where he then stood against it, Joel following them, the axe now swinging and you slowly connected the dots of what was about to happen. 

„I’m letting you go,“ Joel said, before he brought the axe down, Gabriel’s bloodcurdling scream filling the room that let you hide against Tommy, taking deep breaths against him. 

Everything that happened after was a blur, but the next thing you could remember was that you were on top of a horse, Joel holding you against him, your body tucked into the blankets against his chest.

„Thank you,“ you whispered, feeling his arms tighten around you, his lips finding your temple.

„Always,“ he whispered.

[nerves-nebula]

this gonna be a bitchy post lacking in nuance but who cares. im annoyed.

child predators and abusers will use literally whatever is most effective to groom someone, that's kind of the whole fuckin point. pointing out that they can use certain media to groom kids is like pointing out that you can drink liquids. like yea you sure can. you can groom a kid through their interest in sesame street. you can groom a kid with adventure time. you can twist even the most harmless story book with a Nice Upstanding Moral at the end into whatever you want.

when i was in high school I basically fell in love with any teacher that gave me food cuz i was fucking starving and that's a way more effective way to gain my trust than like, idk, sketchy fandom porn. (which i also loved as a kid/teen but I never really talked to people online or in person about it cuz i didnt wanna get adults in trouble!) and if someone online was weird to me back then i just ghosted them cuz i didn't have to exist in meat space with them if they made me uncomfortable.

anyway back to my point: should we ban granola bars cuz they were a way to fast-track the trust of food insecure kids? the way some of y'all talk about abuse, and grooming in specific is so frustrating, like, what are you fuckin talking about. grooming is a series of actions a person chooses to take to get what they want, it's manipulation, what they use to groom people with is entirely situational and moreover irrelevant.

should we all just sit in 5 x 5 cubes and paint neutral faces on a canvas till we die or should we try to have systems in place to prevent adults from gaining so much control over kids just by being kind of nice to them. and that's not even getting into how censorship literally never works the way you might want it to. it's impossible to create censorship that isn't inherently bigoted and useless because the only people with the power to properly censor are the people with the most power in general. and they do not like the rest of us. and they are also often on the side of abusers, if not abusers themselves!

yall will gives thousands of notes to posts that basically say they want the haze code back cuz you're too dumb and reactionary to think about fucking anything other than "child abuse bad so i guess i agree." then go patting yourselves on the back without having helped a single child.

yall love to feel vindicated more than you care about victims. don't act like anything you do is for the survivors if your focus is always on retribution or censorship against the abusers. you don't care about us. you don't remember we even exist half the time. none of you have looked into what actually helps us, none of you internalize our complicated feelings, none of you are willing to ease up on your christian ideas of sex and sexuality unless we explain our entire traumatic backstories to you. and then you say we're broken and need help, as if what we don't really need is for you to back us up or leave us the fuck alone.

none of you care. you just wanna find acceptable targets for your anger so you can feel good about destroying the Bad Person. dont piss me off

[selfcarecap]

✧ Manipulative best friend!Logan with a corruption kink

warnings: smut 18+, this is not a dark fic, Logan isn’t truly manipulative but we have a very naive/innocent/inexperienced reader; first time masturbation, JOI, handjob, fingering (in front of a mirror), first kiss, pet names (bub, baby, my girl, good girl), Logan doesn’t always fully ask for consent but if he did reader would want it, so those are the type of vibes, Logan takes advantage of the situation but reader is into him too, it’s implied that reader is a mutant too but powers are not specified, mentions of alcohol, reader wears Logan’s (big) shirt, Logan is a bit gross 

This kind of got out of hand lmaoo it was just supposed to just be a short concept but I ended up writing 5.5k words lolll. It’s not a fully fleshed out fic (it’s in full sentences etc but still just kind of loosely written scenes) but I thought I’d still share <33 (gorgeous divider by @anitalenia <3)

Logan knows he wants you from the moment he meets you. He knows he needs you the second you come to the mansion and join the school. But you’re so shy and nervous that he doesn’t want to overwhelm you, so he tells himself he’ll wait for a bit and let you get used to your new life here first. 

What he isn’t expecting is that you become really good friends in the meantime. Yes, he still wants to fuck you but he also genuinely enjoys your company and cares about you. Logan has a big, fat crush on you and there’s not really anything he won’t do in order to be closer to you.

But the problem is that you’re so innocent and he can’t tell if it’s an act, if you just don’t like talking about sex in front of other people, or if you’re really like this. 

He hears you talking to Storm and Jean one night and Storm is trying to convince you to get a vibrator and you’re asking “what would I need that for? I don’t… y’know”. Storm says “you don’t what? Masturbate?”.

Logan knows exactly what shy expression you’re making even though he can’t see you, and you’re all like “oh my god, don’t say it that loud”. And he knows your pretty face must be getting all hot with embarrassment and the thought alone turns Logan on to no end. It’s quiet for a bit and Logan gathers that Jean reads your mind, and she confirms to Storm that you’re not lying.  

Logan can only hear the conversation because he’s in the kitchen and you’re all in the room next to it, but some students come in so he can’t keep eavesdropping, as much as he wants to. And he knows there’s no way you’re continuing the conversation if he’s in the room, so he has to give up for the night. He tries to ask Storm the next day about what you said and she just calls him a pervert and says to ask you himself if he wants to know so badly. 

But that’s kind of the thing. He’s become your best friend over the last few months, but there are still some things you’d never tell him just because he’s a guy, even if you don’t see him as more than a friend. Yet.

And Logan only gets more desperate when you’re drunk one evening after a girl’s night and you’re knocking at his door. It’s really late but Logan lets you in of course. You’re crying a bit and he makes you sit in his bed and takes off your shoes and slides off your jacket while you hiccup something unintelligible. 

He sits down with you and you can barely focus on what you’re saying, and then you get up mumbling about your uncomfortable tights and your skirt and suddenly you’re in front of him in just a top and panties. Logan has to gulp down a moan as he stares at the flesh of your thighs and the rolls on your belly and all he can think about is devouring you whole – until he hears you mention the conversation with Storm and Jean from the other day, “wait, what was that?”

You pout, “Well I was talking to them and turns out apparently I’m the only woman in the world that doesn’t masturbate and– and Jean went home to Scott, and Storm went home with someone she met at the bar and I’ve never even done anything with a guy, not even with myself. I just feel left behind.”

And Logan tells you something about how you’re just a late bloomer and there’s still time, because that’s what he thinks you want to hear, but you tell him it’s condescending. You don’t want to be a late bloomer, you just want to have sex. And oh– Logan can help you with that.

He has to do his absolute best to keep calm and not mount you immediately, but you’re drunk so that’s what’s stopping him. He might manipulate you a little to get what he wants but he’s not that bad. He asks “you don’t like touching yourself?” And you just shrug and say “dunno”. 

“You never feel an ache between your legs?” Logan asks, keeping so calm it’s painful. And he can practically feel the heat melting off your face at the question as your eyes dart around the room, “I don’t know, sometimes”.

 “And you don’t touch yourself?”

You shrug again, looking everywhere but at Logan, “I never really know what people mean when they say that. I, like, touch myself and it feels nice but that’s it.” 

Logan smiles, “how long do you touch yourself for?” 

“I don’t know, a few seconds.”

And he chuckles and says “it’s normal that you don’t get anywhere in a few seconds, bub.” 

“Oh. I didn’t know that,” you manage to meet his eyes briefly but look away again as you sit on your hands shyly.

“You ever watched porn?” Logan asks and your eyes go wide as if he’s just committed the worst sin known to womankind in front of you and you hug your legs and say “noo, I would never. I’m not, like, a pervert.”

Logan laughs, “Porn isn’t just for perverts. There’s more to it than choking and bondage, there’s tame stuff.” You just say “well I’ve never watched any.” 

“Maybe you should.”

“Maybe, I don’t know.” 

He can tell you’re getting a bit ashamed and while he would love to train that shame out of you when it comes to sex, now isn’t the time when you’re drunk in his bed at 2AM. 

“You wanna go to sleep?” He asks, failing to resist giving a small squeeze to your knee. Your eyes fly to his hand there, gaze lingering on his fingers even as he pulls them away. You nod after a few moments, and Logan reaches out to wipe away the remnants of your tears and says “you wanna sleep in my bed? We could cuddle”. 

You grin like a child who’s just tried ice cream for the first time at his suggestion and he gives you a bigger shirt of his so you don’t have to sleep in that small, tight top you’re wearing. You pull off your top without warning and then he’s looking at you in just your underwear and he feels like he’s died and ascended to heaven even though he’s probably more likely to go to hell with the thoughts he’s having about you right now. 

You cast a shy glance over your shoulder as you undo your bra and Logan wills himself to shut his eyes, putting his hand over them because he knows otherwise he’d look.

He only wants to fuck you more when he sees you in his shirt though, and he’ll definitely have to go to the bathroom to jerk off once you’ve fallen asleep. Except that you snuggle against his side so cutely, head resting on his shoulder with a leg thrown over his. 

You’re fast asleep before he can even say good night and when he moves to get up you move closer, and now he’s got your plush tits pressed up against his side and your arm over his waist. A tent has formed in his pants and he feels pathetic that he’s measuring the distance between your elbow and his crotch, silently willing you to move just a few inches. 

He’s so horny that he’d feel no moral qualms at jerking off right next to you. He’d cum so quickly with you pressed to his side, but he wouldn’t know how to explain it if you woke up. He doesn’t want to scare you away. So he pulls away to get up, and you wake up and whine when he stands up, telling you he just has to pee to which you grumble, and you grab his pillow to cuddle with instead. 

He jerks off shamelessly, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. His spit slicked-palm is starting to get loud as he strokes his cock to thoughts of you, but he doesn’t care if you hear. You probably wouldn’t know what he’s doing anyway with how innocent you are. 

He doesn’t even have to fantasise about any sexual scenario with you. Thinking about the pretty smile you have whenever you look at him is enough to have his fists drenched in his cum as he jerks himself off with both hands to stroke his entire length. 

He can’t hold back the small moan that spills over his lips when he cums, torn between hoping you heard and hoping you didn’t. Logan washes his hands and rejoins you in bed. 

He takes a moment before he slips under the covers, taking in the sight of you in his bed, imagining you’re his and that it’s the norm for you to sleep together rather than an exception. You stir as the mattress dips with his weight, swapping the pillow of his that was clutched between your arms for his bicep that you hold onto instead. You’re way too gone to have heard any of what he just did, and for a moment he feels dirty for thinking about you the way that he does. 

It doesn’t last long, of course, as he dreams of you most nights. He can’t feel bad about it though – he’ll take any dream over one of his nightmares (that he hasn’t had since he met you). And if he’s honest it turns him on how innocent and unsuspecting you are of what goes on in his head when he thinks of you. 

-

You wake up still wrapped around his body the next morning. You have a headache and Logan brings you something to soothe it, offering to massage your stiff neck too. You sigh in bliss as soon as Logan’s hands are on you, and he reminds himself that you must be touch-starved. You’ve never touched yourself, let alone felt the touch of another person that went beyond platonic or familial affection. 

He revels in the sounds he pulls from you with ease with the most basic massaging technique there is. He never wants to leave. He started off hovering over the back of your thighs, but he’s been making his way forwards and now his crotch is nestled right against the soft swell of your ass. You either don’t notice that he’s slowly moved or you don’t realise what exactly is pressing into your backside. 

It’s obvious that you’re enjoying his hands on the back of your neck and the top of your shoulders; he doubts there’s anything that could distract you from it. Except if he got hard maybe, but he’s got more self control since he jerked off in the bathroom again after waking up with morning wood and with you by his side, just before he brought you some painkillers. 

“You’re so good with your hands, Logan,” you tell him, voice all raspy, and he smirks at the innuendo you don’t realise you’re making. 

“It’s what my girl deserves,” he says, pulling a smile and a hum from your lips. 

“I’m your girl?” you ask shyly, eyes still closed as his knuckles drag over your skin. 

“O’course you are, bub.” He’s not sure in what way you interpret the pet name but he can tell you like it, hearing how your heartbeat speeds up just that little bit. You like being his, and he likes that. 

-

It’s during a particularly horny evening that Logan comes to your room. He’s jerked off twice today to pictures of you — pictures he’s snuck over the time he’s known you, you smiling as you laugh at a tv show, stretching on the sofa not realising that he’s got his phone out, or that one photo of you smiling all shyly on the day you first met him and he showed you around the mansion. Jean asked to take a picture to commemorate the day you joined them, and he remembers the way he slid his arm around the back of your waist and you placed your hand shyly on his back, smiling all adorably. 

He’s got a picture of you in a bikini from that one time you two went swimming but he keeps that for special occasions. Today was one of those special occasions, and he came all over his phone screen, cursing when he had to clean it afterwards; he even had to get the phone case off and all. 

But you still won’t leave his head for even just a second, so he decides it’s time for the next step. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you with anything, but he also just really wants you. Can’t help it. He’s a selfish man but any man would be if he knew you the way Logan did. He knocks at your door. “Yeah?” you call out. 

You grin when he steps in and closes the door behind himself. You stretch out your arms for a hug to greet him, even though you only saw him a few hours ago. He joins you where you’re sitting on your bed with your laptop. Logan turns the screen towards him, hoping to find something naughty but he should have known better. It’s just some video essay on a topic he’s never even heard of. He shuts the laptop. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” you tell him, genuinely focussed, “If I’m your girl then what are you to me? My boy sounds weird, and my man.. I don’t know.”

He almost forgot that he called you his girl to your face, and he smirks when he imagines you thinking about it these past few days. He lies down on his side, invading your space, almost touching you with how close he is next to you.

 “I can be anything you like, bub.” 

You shrug shyly, “Maybe you’re just my Logan.” 

He’s surprised at how much that turns him on. You being his, that’s one thing. But him being yours? Those two things go hand-in-hand, of course, but he thought you were still a long way off from liking him as much as he likes you. 

It encourages him to ask you what he’s been thinking about for days. He says it casually. “So, had any success touching yourself?” He uses that tame expression so that you’re less embarrassed.

Still, your eyes widen slightly and you immediately start playing with the hem of your oversized t-shirt. “What do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean,” he smirks, “Don’t gotta be embarrassed around me. We’ve been over this.” Although, for a second he wonders if you even remember the conversation. You were drunk after all, and he considers feeling bad, but then you smile. 

“I know, but… I haven’t tried it since. I’ve thought about it but I still don’t know what to do.” He’s got you right where he wants. 

“Y’know, I don’t mind showing you. You deserve to feel good.” 

You look away, “What would you even show me? And how? Guys are different down there.” Oh, you’re so innocent. He’s having so much fun. 

“I could touch you.” He watches you experience a multitude of emotions as you think about it. Shame, intrigue, resolve. 

“Wouldn’t that be weird for you?” 

“Not at all, don’t worry about me.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure, bub.” 

You look around you, putting your laptop and your phone on your nightstand, “What do I do?” you ask, playing with the blanket. 

“I’ll just touch you a bit, okay? Just get you used to the feeling,” he tells you, both of you sitting up and he pulls your legs around his waist, gently touching all over your inner thighs, squeezing the flesh.

You’re already arching your back, scooting closer to him, and he lifts your shirt up over your hip and sees the wet spot on your panties. He’s not sure if you notice how hard he is under his sweatpants but no one could blame him for that. You’re getting so worked up and he hasn’t even touched you anywhere near your pussy, you’re breathing so heavily and your heart is beating so fast.

“Y’want a kiss, bub?” Logan asks you all sweetly, and you lean in as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your lips on his are messy but eager, and Logan loves that he can feel that it’s your first kiss. You don’t know what you’re doing but you need it – need him. 

But he has to stop at some point because it’s getting harder to not fuck you, so he gently pulls away, and you grin shyly when the kiss is over. Logan leans in one more time for a quick kiss. He pushes you backwards a bit and looks between your spread thighs. You’re so wet. You’re squirming under his gaze.

“Can I take these off?” he asks, tugging at the waistband of your panties and your breathing gets shaky when his finger grazes your belly. You bite your lip and nod.

“Good girl,” he says, pulling your underwear down your thighs with one hand, eyes glued to your pussy. You’re so wet and sticky already, and your pussy looks even better than anything he’s imagined – and he’s imagined it a lot.

He wants nothing more than to fuck you, or eat you out at least, but he’s supposed to be showing you how to masturbate, so he lies down next to you.

“So, if you were alone, you might touch yourself like this.” He takes his hand between your thighs, softly touching your clit. You’re leaning into him, head against his shoulder as you watch his big hand between your thighs. It looks so right there. You look to your side and gaze up at Logan, and you can’t help but just kiss him again.

And while you’re kissing, Logan puts his palm on your pussy and starts rubbing you a bit rougher, and you become too distracted to keep kissing him.

“You like when I play with your clit?” he teases you and you nod, hiding your face in his neck. Logan moves down to fuck one of his fingers into you, then two, and you’re whimpering against his warm skin. With his palm still rubbing against your clit, you have your first ever orgasm with Logan and you hold onto him as the pleasure flows through your body.

He keeps going until you put your hand around his wrist to stop him and you shyly smile up at him. “Was that good, bub?” 

You answer with a weak “yeah”, your voice hoarse but you’re smiling and your skin is glowing. Logan pulls his hand away and shows you how your arousal sticks to his fingers, and your eyes search his because you’re not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Your mouth opens when Logan takes his fingers into his mouth and sucks your taste off them. “Taste so fucking good, baby. You wanna taste yourself?” And he waits patiently until you’ve made your mind up but you nod and let him put one of his fingers into your warm, wet mouth. You suck on it for much longer than necessary and Logan tries to save the image in his brain for later.

He holds you for a bit as you comprehend that you’ve just had an orgasm for the first time in your life. You shyly thank him before he leaves and he makes you promise that you’ll try it again by yourself soon. That was the whole point of this, after all – nothing to do with Logan or anything.

-

Logan thought he’d be satisfied for a bit, but all it’s done is make him even needier for you. You’re so oblivious to all his flirting, and he’s sure you genuinely thought he just wanted to show you how to masturbate the other day. 

Of course, he could just ask you out, but it’s more fun this way. He likes watching you figure stuff out. He wonders how long it’ll take you to realise that he actually likes you, that teaching you how to jerk off maybe wasn’t only in your best interest but in his too.

He’s a bit pathetic when it comes to you at this point, though. As much as he’s teasing you, it’s also teasing him. It’s a bit of a low point, but he pretends to be in a bad mood to get your attention.

You come to his room in the late afternoon when you haven’t seen him all day, and you’re so kind and so caring and immediately worried when you see him sprawled in bed in his pyjamas that consist of grey sweatpants and a white shirt.

“You okay? What happened?” you close the door and sit on his bed immediately.

Logan fake sighs, suppressing a smile as he pouts exaggeratedly. “Nothing, bub. Don’t you worry about me.” He squeezes your knee to reassure you, and he watches you perk up at his touch.

“You know you can always talk to me,” you smile kindly, and he wants to kiss you so badly. He doesn’t usually talk about emotions and feelings all that much, but you’re always trying to get him to open up because it’s good for him, so he knows he’s got you with this.

“I’m just feeling a bit down today. That’s all. Don’t wanna bother you with my problems.”

“You’re not bothering me. I’m always here for you.”

He watches you gnawing on your lip as you think about what to say next, and Logan waits curiously. “Have you uh, jerked off today? I think an orgasm would cheer anyone up, if it feels as good as you made me feel the other day.”

And Logan’s all like “I’ve tried but it’s been so long since a woman touched me, and my own hand just isn’t doing it for me anymore.”

He gets hard immediately when you perk up, smiling with your sweet expression and saying, “I could help you! I hate seeing you so sad”.

And Logan pretends, saying “no, bub, I’d never ask that of you,” but you sit up on your knees and say “I really wouldn’t mind! And I owe you for last time anyway.”

“If you’re really sure?” 

You nod sweetly and brush your hair out of your face and ask, “where do you want me?”

And even just you asking that is something that will stay in his mind for a long time. He feels like you’d do anything he asked of you right now and it’s already driving him crazy. He says “just next to me here, bub. Yeah there is fine”. 

You lean in to kiss him and he only pulls away out of surprise, and you’re blinking back at him with wide eyes, apologising, “It’s just cause you kissed me last time, I thought— I thought it’s part of–”

“Yeah, baby, it is. Just didn’t know if you wanted to kiss me again.”

You give him a cheeky smile and nod, “of course I wanna kiss you. You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you”. 

Logan grins and bites his lip and says “me too, bub”, and leans in and kisses you again, basically attacking you with his mouth. He can tell it’s getting a little much for you with the way he’s eating you alive so he stops himself and asks “was that too much?” 

You shake your head, “just don’t know how to kiss like that yet.” And he likes that. Yet. Maybe he can sneak in some kissing lessons at some point, just to show you how it’s done of course, no other reason. 

You look down at his lap then and it’s obvious how hard he is. “Y’wanna you touch it like this first?” he asks you, grabbing himself over his sweatpants, the outline becoming clearer.

And you nod so eagerly, but get a bit shy when you’re touching his cock, one of your knees pulled up to your chest as you palm him over his sweatpants. “It’s so big,” you marvel, oblivious to how much this is affecting Logan.

“You wanna see?”

You tell him yes and he pulls the waistband down, and you lean closer when he wraps a hand around his cock, stroking himself just a few times to relieve the pressure. 

You bring a finger to his mouth like he did for you the other day, and he chuckles, “that won’t be enough, bub”. Your cheeks burn when you say “oh”.

“Here,” he moves your hand so your open palm is facing him and he spits into it.

“Now do this,” Logan tells you, taking your hand and wrapping it around his cock, guiding you up and down with your spit-slicked palm. You watch in awe as you jerk him off, his hand never leaving the back of yours.

He could cum immediately like this, but he tries to savour the feeling a bit longer.

“Does it feel good?” you ask him.

“Yeah, doing so well, bub. Think you can do it by yourself?”

You shake your head with a smile. Yes, you could do it by yourself, but you like the feeling of him guiding you, setting the pace and intensity. He grins and continues, squeezing your hand tighter so that your grip on his cock tightens too.

Logan lets you jerk him off a bit longer before he gives in. He’s proud of you for not pulling away in surprise when he cums, coating your hand and his in his cum as ropes of white shoot over your skin and onto his shirt. He lets go of your hand to pull off his shirt and watches you examine your hand full of Logan’s cum.

“Can I taste it?” you ask in a quiet voice, and Logan just about gets hard again.

“Yeah,” he tells you, but pushes his own fingers into your mouth. Your lips wrap around his two fingers and suck the cum off, and Logan can’t help but push them further into your mouth, making you giggle. You pull his hand away after a bit, only to lick your own fingers. He uses the clean part of his shirt to dry your hand off after, and you lie down to cuddle him.

“Do you feel better?”

Logan chuckles, “Yeah, bub, I feel better. Thanks.”

“Good,” you grin, proud of yourself. Logan’s proud of you too.

-

It’s still the same day when you come to his room the next time. You left after a bit to go to sleep, but now there are knocks on Logan’s door that he recognises as yours before you say anything.

You enter his room in your pyjamas – a big shirt – and some fluffy socks, a plushie under your arm. You look so oh so innocent that he almost feels bad for corrupting you. You come in, close the door, and sit on his bed again, legs dangling off the side of it. He could really get used to you being in here.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, but you ignore him, hugging your plushie for comfort.

 “I… can you maybe…” you let out a sigh, “I tried to masturbate but I can’t do it by myself. Can you show me again?” 

Maybe you’re not so innocent anymore. He chuckles and tells you of course, and he’s starting to wonder if you’ve caught on to the game that he’s playing, and if you’ve joined him, but he’d still bet money that you really are this naive. Logan pulls his full length mirror in front of his bed, not too close, but close enough that you can see yourself in it. 

He moves to lift your shirt to get your panties off, and his heart skips a beat as he’s greeted by the sight of your bare pussy, already glistening.

“It was easier to come with them already off,” you say, and he reaaally has to restrain himself so he doesn't bend you over and take you right here.

You drop your stuffed toy to the side of Logan’s bed as he sits you in front of the mirror, getting behind you, putting his legs either side of you.

“God, you’re so pretty.” He can’t stop himself from saying it as he makes you look at yourself in the mirror, legs spread.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Logan,” you say, shying away from looking in the mirror.

“You can do it, bub. I got you, okay?”

You’ve turned around to look at him better, and he chuckles when he gets it.

“Is this what you need?” he asks as he leans in to kiss you, and you moan yes into his mouth. He loves you so fucking much.

His dick is already so hard and he’s not sure if you can feel it pressing into your ass, but either way you’re not complaining. He takes your chin to make you face yourself in the mirror, and he can’t get enough of seeing you two in it together – the way he’s sitting behind you like this, imagining other positions you two could be in.

“Here,” he pushes his finger into your mouth, even though you’re already wet enough, watching you suck on it eagerly. His finger stays in your mouth much longer than necessary.

He starts gently rubbing your clit in circles, and you squirm in his arms that are around you, one on your waist, the other between your legs.

“I did that too, but it feels better when you do it,” you mumble after a while, clearly enjoying it but unsure what you were doing wrong when you did it yourself.

“Try it.” Logan takes your hand, and makes you do it yourself. You’re squirming with him watching you like this, but it is useful to sit in front of the mirror, copying how he played with your pussy just moments ago.

Logan’s not blind to how wet you are, at having him watching and guiding you, and he can’t help it as he reaches into his boxers to jerk off. He doesn’t get his cock out but he’s not hiding it. You can see the movement of his arm in the mirror and you might even be able to feel it at your back, as Logan’s fist grazes your shirt every now and then as he strokes himself.

But you’re so focussed on looking between your own legs that Logan is genuinely not sure if you’ve noticed him jerking off, and the sounds of your wet pussy are louder than his hand on his cock.

“I… I can’t,” you whine after a bit, taking your hand away from your pussy, but Logan is close, and he wants you to cum too.

He keeps jerking off, and he sees you noticing it, sitting up a bit taller but you don’t seem to mind. You’re smiling, biting your lip.

“Yeah, you can, baby. Here, we’ll do it together.” He keeps a hand on his cock, reaching around you to put your hand back between your legs, and then he pushes two of his fingers into your pussy, fucking you with them.

“You close, bub? I’m close,” he says, and the idea of cumming together with Logan makes your pussy squeeze around his fingers, so you do your best to recreate the pattern on your clit that Logan showed you, rubbing it in circles until you get the right angle.

“Good girl, that’s it. So tight around my fingers. Come on now.” Logan’s so close he has no idea how he’s still holding off, sloppily jerking his cock with one hand and fucking your pussy with his fingers on the other hand.

You lean your head back, landing on Logan’s shoulder, as your orgasm pulses through you. Logan can feel your pussy spasming around him, and he lets go too, cumming over his hand and his boxers.

You’re both out of breath for a while after, barely moving.

“Y’did it, bub,” he kisses the top of your head, and you smile at him through the mirror, turning to press a messy kiss to the side of his face. He won’t take that though, so he grabs your face, smearing some of his cum on your cheek, and pulls you to face him for a proper kiss. You smile against his mouth as you make out.

You sleep in his room again that night, but he can’t say it feels like you know that he likes you yet. He’ll have fun watching you figure it out soon.

-

✧ reblog and let me know your thoughts for Logan to appear in your dreams tonight <3

[thir10th]

Seeing her clearly - October writing challenge day 3

summary: you had no idea Emily wore glasses, she had never mentioned it before. tw: none, just fluff, a bit suggestive at the end a/n: here’s day 3!! I hope you guys love this one as much as i do, and please interact with it if you do! 💘

It's not the most common thing. Not what you would expect of a couple that has only been together for a couple of weeks, but Emily and you are different.

Even before you started dating, Emily and you were always so close, and you had visited her apartment before, which made you no stranger to the house. The living room was ample and the kitchen isle was enough that you mostly ate there, except for the nights you'd spend on her couch.

So only after a couple of weeks of dating, the familiarity was simple, it came naturally, and you walked through that house like it was your own.

You had woken up, said hello to Sergio and gave him breakfast, then made coffee, and grabbed the paper. Hadn't this one been a work day, you would've taken the time to make some nice breakfast for your still passed out girlfriend, but for now you are fine with some toast.

Sitting on the kitchen isle, you open the paper to do the crossword, you'd like to have something to talk to Spencer about that isn't in Russian.

"Hey love, do i smell coffee?"your girlfriend's raspy and sleepy voice startles you.

"You do, your mug's over there" you say, without taking your sight off the paper. Emily bends to give you a good morning kiss on the cheek, her hair sprawls over your face, you turn around on your seat and grab the collar of her shirt pulling her to kiss her lips. Emily hums on the kiss, and then walks over to get her coffee.

You're still focused on the crossword when she takes the seat next to you and sips on her coffee.

"hey, Em do you think you could help me out with 6 down?" you ask, showing her the paper.

"um- too early to focus, hold on" she sits up, and opens a drawer.

Like it's nothing, she sits down and puts on a pair of reading glasses. You can't believe your eyes.

“Wait… hold on a second.” you stare at her in shock, wide-eyed

Emily glances up, looking a little confused “What?”

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” you reply in utter shock, grinning like an idiot.

She blushes slightly, adjusting them nervously “Yeah, only for reading. They’re not a big deal.”

"How come you read files all the time at work and i had never seen them?" you still can't get over this.

"I don't need them that much, just the paper's letters are so tiny..." She shifts in her seat awkwardly “I try not to wear them too much. They make me feel like I look… older.”

You stare in disbelief, leaning forward “Older? Emily, are you kidding me? You look amazing in them.”

“Yeah, right. I’ve always thought they just aged me. Not exactly the look I was going for.” she chuckles, clearly embarassed.

You shake your head, still staring at her like you’ve just discovered the eighth wonder of the world “No, seriously. I mean, I already thought you were gorgeous, but this? You look so… I don’t know, smart, and—” your voice drops slightly “... ridiculously attractive.”

She blushes harder, trying to hide a smile “Oh God, don’t make a thing out of it. I just need them to read, nothing special.”

Playfully tilting your head, you are clearly loving how flustered she is “No, this is definitely a thing now.” you reach out and gently take her hand “You’re seriously making it hard for me to concentrate on the crossword right now.”

“Well, I’m glad someone likes them.” She laughs softly, still looking a little shy.

Softly, squeezing her hand, you get up from your seat and walk to her, lowering down you sit on her lap, and she welcomes you grabbing your thighs with one hand to hold you in place, the other one still on yours “I more than like them. I love them. And I love you in them.” you kiss her hand sweetly.

“So, just so you know… if you wear them more often, I won’t complain.” leaning closer, your voice teasing.

She shuffles behind you, trying to make you and herself comfortable on top of you “I’ll keep that in mind. But you’re not seriously freaking out over a pair of glasses, right?” smirking, her confidence returning a little.

You grin, leaning even closer “Oh, I am definitely freaking out.” you kiss her cheek, your voice soft “In the best way.”

She smiles, her eyes twinkling behind the glasses “Well, if it gets this kind of reaction from you, maybe I’ll have to wear them more often after all.”

You raise an eyebrow playfully, running a hand up her arm. “You really should,” you whisper, brushing your lips against her ear. “In fact, I think we still have some time before I have to leave for work...”

Emily raises her head slightly, lips curving into a teasing smile. “Oh, do we now?” Her voice is low, and you can feel her shifting under you.

“Yeah,” you murmur, leaning in just enough to kiss the corner of her mouth, then whisper “and the glasses stay on.”

Emily lets out a surprised laugh, her hand tightening its grip on your thighs as she pulls you even closer. “Oh really?” Her tone is playful but laced with a bit of intrigue. “The glasses stay on, huh?”

You nod, your gaze intense. “Absolutely.”

Without another word, Emily grabs your hips firmly, and before you know it, she’s lifting you up with ease and placing you on top of the kitchen table. The cool surface contrasts with the warmth of her hands as she presses herself between your legs.

“You sure you’ve got time for this?” she asks, her voice thick with amusement as she leans in, brushing her lips against yours, just enough to make you crave more. Her glasses frame her face perfectly, making her look both sophisticated and irresistibly sexy.

“Trust me,” you whisper breathlessly, “I’ll make time.”

Emily smirks, clearly enjoying the effect she’s having on you. She cups your face with one hand, while the other slides around your waist, pulling you into her as she finally closes the distance, kissing you deeply. The kiss is slow but intense, her lips moving against yours like she’s savoring every second.

Your fingers immediately find their way into her hair, tugging gently as the kiss deepens. You can feel her smile against your lips before she pulls back just slightly, her breath mingling with yours. “You really like the glasses that much, huh?”

You nod, barely able to catch your breath. “I love them... and I love you.” Your hands slide down to the collar of her shirt, tugging her back in for another kiss.

Emily chuckles softly against your lips, her hands roaming your sides as she presses you further into the table. “Good, because they’re staying on,” she teases before capturing your lips again, and all thoughts of work vanish as you melt into her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[and-claudia]

Professor Howlett (Logan x fem!reader) Kinktober Fic #2

Warnings: Age gap!! Naughty pictures, unprotected sex, student/teacher relationship (reader IS OF AGE), professor kink, the use of the pet name Sweetheart (a lot)

Wordcount: 3000 (i am so sorry)

Kinktober taglist

“Don’t forget, final papers are due tomorrow.” Professor Howlett said, and my heart sank. 

Fuck. I had completely forgotten about the paper. I used to always be on top of my work, but recently, during class, specifically Professor Howlett’s class, my mind had begun to wander. My time was spent thinking about all the different ways I would let him bend me over his desk and have his way with me rather than whatever era he was teaching us about. 

“Yn, hang back for a minute.” He said, beaconing me over to his desk with two fingers. 

“Yes, sir?” I asked, adjusting my books in my arm. 

“Are you okay?” He asked and it went straight to my core the way he said it. 

“Y-yes, sir.” 

“Are you positive? You’ve been… staring off into space lately. Are you sure you have nothing on your mind?” He asked, leaning back in his chair. 

“Yes, sir. I’m fine. Maybe just a little nervous about the paper due tomorrow.” I admitted. 

“Don’t be,” He brushed it off, “I always enjoy reading your papers. I’m sure tomorrow won’t be any different.” He said, and I swear he winked. 

“Well, thank you, sir, I appreciate it.” I said, smiling. 

He nodded and went to leave, “Oh, one more thing, Charles told me I needed a teacher assistant or something next semester. You interested?” 

I smiled, “Yes, I would love to.” 

“Figured you would.” He said with a small smirk. 

I was about to ask him what he meant when someone came into the room. 

“Am I interrupting something?” 

I turned to see Professor Xavier entering the room. 

“No, sir.” 

“No, Charles. I was just speaking to my new teacher assistant for next semester. I think the two of us will make a good team.” 

“I am sure you do, Logan. Yn would mind excusing us, in need to speak with Mr.Howlett?” He said. 

“Of course,” I said, nodding before turning to Mr.Howlett, “I will see you tomorrow.” 

He nodded, and I left. I decided to skip my last class and go straight to my room to work on my paper. However as the hours passed, I couldn’t come up with anything that I liked nor would yield even a decent grade. I was finally brought out of my focus by a knock at the door. 

“It’s unlocked!” I hollered for whoever it was to just come in. 

“I noticed you didn’t come down for dinner.” I jumped when I realized it was Mr.Howlett. 

“Oh, I must have lost track of time…” I said, closing my computer. 

“I figured, here.” He said, setting a plate down on my desk. 

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” I said, smiling at him. 

He nodded before glancing around the room at all the Polaroids I had hanging around the room. 

“You take all these?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I have my aunt’s old camera.” I said. 

“Old? Ouch.” 

“Sorry.” I said with a laugh as I stood. 

I went over to my dresser, where I left the camera sitting, and picked it up. As I walked, I felt eyes on me. I then realized that I had forgotten that I changed once I got to my room earlier and was wearing short shorts and a hoodie only. When I turned around I swear I saw Mr.Howlett’s gaze jump up to my face from where he had been looking lower down my body. 

But he wouldn’t be checking me out like that, right? Sure I was one of the few adult students here, but that’s thing, I was still his student, it would be wrong. 

“Here, this is what I used for them all.” I said, handing it to him to look at. 

He looked it over curiously before carefully handing it back to me. 

“You must have a thing for old things, don’t you?” He said smoothly. 

And while I knew he was talking about the decor in my room, it felt like he was hinting at much more. 

“I guess you could say that.” I said flirtatously, suddenly feeling much bolder. 

“Well, although I would love to stick around for a while, you have a paper to finish, and I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be in students' dorms after a certain time, if not at all.” He said. 

I almost told him to stay, but I knew I shouldn’t… besides I had something else in mind. After he left, I ate the food he had brought me and then got my room set up. I moved my mirror away from the wall and cleaned it off some before setting out some blankets and pillows on the floor so I wouldn’t have my bare ass on the old wooden floor. Then I got changed into my best pair of panties and matching bra and got to work. Tomorrow, instead of turning in a paper, I would be handing a very special folder to Mr.Howlett. 

I took a few pictures at varying angles and positions with everything on. Then I took off my bra and got some good shots of my tits. I didn’t want to give him everything in these photos, though, I wanted him to have something to look forward to, so I left my panties on as I took one last picture in the mirror of me on my knees, tits out and all the previous photos strewn out in front of me. Then, I collected all of them up, threw my hoodie back on, and worked on putting them in my portfolio to turn in tomorrow. 

As I climbed into bed, I realized just how wet my panties had gotten by the thought of Mr.Howlett looking through my pictures. I slipped them off and decided to let my mind play into the fantasies of what would happen after he sees them tomorrow. When I came on my fingers, it felt amazing, but I knew that it was nothing compared to what Mr.Howlett could make me feel. 

The next day, I felt giddy as I sat through Mr.McCoy’s class. He was rambling on about another math concept I knew I would never use. Once again my mind began to wonder to wander to another teacher of mine. He finally released us and I nearly ran to Mr.Howlett’s class, folder in hand, ready to turn it in. 

“Hello, Mr.Howlett.” I said as I walked in. 

He was sat at his desk and when he glanced at me, he did a double take. I had purposefully wore a low cut blouse, revealing possibly too much clevage for school, but I didn’t care, it was all a part of my game. 

“Hello, Yn. You finish your essay?” He asked, quickly gaining his composure. 

“Right here.” I said, holding it up for him to see. 

He held out his hand, and I happily handed it to him as I went to sit at my desk, which just happened to be directly in front of him. I watched as he opened up the folder and flipped past the cover page. 

“Fuck.” I heard him sigh as he saw the first round of photos, and it made me smirk to myself. 

He flipped the page and glanced over the folder at me, “This is… good.” He said, shifting in his chair. 

“Oh, it gets better.” I said leaning forward in my chair, resting my chin in my hand.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps walking in, and I sat back and pretended to be getting something from my bag. Mr.Howlett shut the folder quickly and swiftly dropped it into one of the drawers on his desk as more of his students walked in. Everyone found their seats and soon the whole class was here. 

“Alright, pretty easy class today. Turn in your essays then you’re free to go.” He said to everyone, not standing up from his desk. 

Everyone was clearly excited as they got their essays out and dropped them on his desk before leaving. Once the last student walked out, he silently stood up and walked over to the door. He shut it and locked it. Then, he walked back to his desk, sat down, and got the folder back out. I watched with anticipation for his next move and was quite surprised when he beaconed me over with his fingers. 

“Pull up a chair.” He said, nodding to the space in front of his desk. 

“I want you to tell me what you were thinking when you took each one of these pictures. No bullshit, either. Understand?” 

I nodded. 

“Use your words.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good. Let’s start here.” He said, pointing to the first picture. 

It was simple: my face was covered by the camera, but you could see my whole body. The way I had adjusted my lights made a perfect silhouette of my body, every curve on display for him. 

“Well, I was thinking that this is a stupid idea but I had already set everything up, and there was no turning back now. It was late, and there was no way I was writing that paper.” 

He nodded and pointed to the next one, “This one?” 

This one was a close-up of just my tits. You could see the delicate white lace of the bra I wore. 

“My only thought there was, I hope Mr.Howlette likes this color on me.” I said. 

“It’s nice.” 

This continued until he got to the last one, and again, he asked me the same question. 

“At that point, I realized just how wet my panties were at the thought of you looking at all the pictures I took for you.” I said, standing up. 

I began walking around to the other side of his desk. 

“I was fantasizing about all the things you would do to me when you saw them… I must say, a Q and A was not a part of any of them.” I said. 

He had moved away from his desk giving me enough space to turn his chair towards me and straddle his lap. When he didn’t show any signs of rejection, I sat all the way down. 

“One more question. Is this what you’ve been daydreaming about? Turning in a folder of naked pictures of yourself?” He asked, hands instantly going to my waist. 

“Not exactly…” I said, biting my lip slightly. 

“Tell me then. What was so interesting that you couldn’t even focus on your favorite teacher?” He asked, leaning forward. 

“Well… I was thinking of all the ways I would let you have your way with me right here on your desk.” I said. 

“Is that right?” He asked. 

I only nodded and dipped my head down to kiss him. When he did reject the kiss, I knew I was golden. I began grinding down on his lap, and I could feel his erection growing in his jeans. He quickly took over, using his hands on my hips to set the pace of me grinding on him. 

“Get off.” He said, suddenly. 

I quickly scrambled off of him and looked at him with wide eyes, thinking I had done something wrong or that he was second-guessing everything, 

“What? Kinda hard to fuck you on my desk when you're on my lap, sweetheart.” He said with a smirk. 

With that, he lifted me up onto his desk and began kissing me once again. This time, however, his hands began roaming all over my body. I could tell he was being a little hesitant though, never actually touching my breast. So, I took matters into my own hands and began unbuttoning my top. Once it was completely open, I grabbed his hands and put them on my breast. 

“You’ve already seen them; you can touch them.” I said between breaths. 

My hands tangled into his hair as he groped my breast. Small grunts left his mouth as he toyed with them. One of his hands slipped behind me to unclasp my bra, and once it fell away, he took full advantage of his access to my nipples. 

“Fuck- best tits I’ve ever seen, sweetheart.” He groaned against my lips. 

“Please, just fuck me, professor.” I said, breathlessly. 

He stopped once again and pulled away. 

“What did you just call me?” He asked, lips slightly swollen. 

“P-professor.” I said. 

I hadn’t meant to call him that. I knew he wasn’t technically one and that he told us not to call him that at the beginning of the semester. It just kind of slipped out. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re killin’ me.” He groaned. 

His lips found mine again as his hands dropped to the waistband of my skirt. I slightly nodded, telling him I was ready, and lifted myself up so he could slip it off of me along with my underwear. The smooth wood of his desk was cold against my heated core, and it sent a shiver up my spine. 

“Off.” I said, grabbing his belt and pulling him closer by it. 

“You don’t get to make demands here, sweetheart. You’re the student, and I’m the professor. Got it?” He said, pulling away to look at me. 

I nodded. 

He shook, “Use your words.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good girl.” He said as he went back to kissing me. 

This time, however, only one hand went back to my breast. The other went down to me entrance. He ran his fingers through my folds, collecting the wetness that had already begun to seep out. Then he slowly pressed one of his fingers into my hole. A small whine left my lips. 

“Sh, it’s okay, just getting you ready.” He said gently as he slipped another finger in. 

“Fuck, you’re so tight, sweetheart.” He said. 

He continued pumping his fingers in and out, scissoring them to help stretch me further. 

“Good.” He said, pulling his fingers out before reaching for his belt and undoing it. 

He pulled his jeans and boxers down just enough to free his hard cock. I was staring at it, and I couldn’t care less. 

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” He asked, voice dripping with cockiness. 

Before I could stop myself, I nodded. He laughed lowly at me. 

He grabbed on of my legs and hooked it over his hip and lined himself up at my entrance. 

“Ready?” 

“Yes, sir.” I said, not taking my eyes off his cock. 

I watched in awe as he slowly pushed the tip in. I tensed up slightly at the stretch. 

“Sh, sweetheart, gotta relax.” He said gently as he pushed further in. 

I watched for as long as I could before my head dropped back and he slid the rest of the way in. A moan left my lips, adittedly a bit louder than I expected. 

“Damn sweetheart, it’s like you want the school to know the teacher’s pet is getting her tight pussy fucked by her favorite professor.” He said as he pulled back and began to set a stead pace thrusting deep in to me. One of hias hands was gripping my hop, holding me in place. And the other dropped down between us to rub tight circles on my clit. 

“Fuck.” I said, breath hitching as me walls scqueesed around him. 

He let out a small growl as he continued to pound into me. My mind was fuzzy and the only thing I could focus on was the feeling of his cock hitting that sweet spot deep inside of me and his rough calloused fingers working my clit. 

“Fuck, I’m close…” I said. 

“Go ahead, sweetheart. Come for me.” He said, surprigly soft and that was all it took for the tension to snap and my walls clamped down on his cock as I came. He hissed as my nails dug into his shoulders, through his shirt and I moaned. 

“Where do you want it, sweetheart? Not lasting much longer the way you’re gripping me.” He said, clearly restraining himself. 

“In. Please. I’m on the pill.” I said, still riding my high. 

He thrusted one last time, and released thick, hot ropes of cum deep inside of me. He thrusted a few more times lazily before stilling. Then, he gently pulled me forward to rest against him, cock still burried deep inside of me. 

“Fuck sweetheart… I’m in trouble now… how will I ever keep my hands off of my teaching assistant next semester?” 

“Don’t.” I said simply, closing my eyes as I rested against his strong chest. 

We stayed like this for a few more minutes before he sighed and slowly began pulling out of me. A small whine left my lips. 

“Sh, sweetheart, it’s okay. I got another class coming in soon. But if you come see me tonight I’ll make you feel even better than you feel now.” He said. 

I sighed but hopped down off his desk and grabbing my clothes off the floor. 

“I’ll hold you to that, Mr.Howlett.” I said, slipping my skirt on, but keeping my panties balled up in my hand. 

“Logan is fine… except in class, or during sex.” He said with a smirk. 

“Okay, Logan…” I said with a smll smile. 

By now he had pulled his pants back up and put his belt back on. I wrapped my arms around him and reached up to kiss him one last time. 

“I’m going to go clean up.” I said, stuffing my panties into his pocket. 

He knew what was I was doing and just smirked at me. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked towards the door. I glanced back at him and he sent me a wink before I opened the door and walked out. To my surprise Prodessor X was rolling up. 

“Hello, Yn.” 

“Hello.” 

“Is Mr.Howlett in there?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” I said stepping to the side so he could go in. 

“Logan, a word.” I heard him say seriously causing my eyes to widen as I sped up my pace and hurried away and back to my room to shower. 

Kinktober taglist

@comicbookslut @mariaxman @howlingco