#or like try to hide how much trouble i have cleaning my room from people or whatever

[scoutswritingcorner]

Deerly Beloved PT.2

Alastor x GN!Deer!Reader

Part 1

TW:NONE

A/n: Cause some people asked for this. 

-🦌 Starting where I left off last time: Eskimo kisses are the only kisses he will give out in public or in the hotel. It’s just become routine for you both to do it to one another. He’ll bend down, tilt your head up by your chin and just give you little eskimo kisses before he leaves.

-🦌 If he’s actually going to kiss you, it will be behind closed doors and away from private eyes. He can’t get enough of it.

-🦌 He’s very suave. But he’s also equally as awkward. Like he can flirt with you all day but then you flirt back and he’s just standing there eyes wide and confused. 

-🦌 More awkward Alastor? He has trouble reading the room sometimes so he just kinda stands somewhere. (honestly me too bud-)

-🦌 If you have horns he’s either laying his chin on your head between them or trying to balance things on them. Please sit still, this could go on for hours. The last thing he could get on there was a marshmallow. (He cleans your horns for you don’t worry)

-🦌 This man is stuck to you like glue. Like- You could be doing your job around the hotel and he’s hugging you from behind and carrying you around. Charlie has to tell him to let you work. He gets grumpy.

-🦌 Sometimes he just stares off into space and he’s unresponsive for a bit. Prime time to get him back. Hang something on his horns and act like nothing happened when he clocks back into reality. 

-🦌When he gets mad at you for something? He stomps his hooves and walks off. It’s his way of throwing a tantrum without causing too much a scene. 

-🦌 He’s not up to date on modern slang at all so if he gets on your nerves bamboozle the old man with some weird slang and he’ll be confused for an hour or so until someone tells him.

-🦌 Fall asleep somewhere and he’ll sit by or near you to watch over you, he’s usually reading but he makes sure everyone in the room leaves you alone.

-🦌 He loves having you sitting on his lap, it’s solely because he likes comparing your hooves together. Like- you could be asleep and he’d be talking still about your hooves. He doesn’t take offense to you falling asleep while he talks, he’s grateful his voice soothes you.

-🦌 Like anything- he has deer tendencies. Like grooming you, he loves to help brush your hair and fix your clothing. He lets you do the same to him. It helps keep down his more animalistic urges. 

-🦌 I 100% feel like he knows how to braid, wash and help brush any type of hair. Whether it’s curly, wavy, straight, coily, thick, anything. If you ask him, he will help. His Mama taught him well.

-🦌 If you get self conscious of your horns falling out cause it does happen he’ll help in anyway he can. He will make a joke about you missing something though. Be aware.

-🦌 Once again, he loves playing silly little games with you. Like in my last post, a fucked up game of tag where he’s chasing you around the hotel cause he can or play fighting with you cause its fun. His other favorite game of his is hiding your things around the hotel.

-🦌 (Don’t imagine him in a white shirt, suspenders and trousers. Don’t do it gang.)

-🦌 Once again. He will pick you up if you take too long with something and he will be unapologetic. He’s got a busy schedule! (He’s getting restless).

A/n: This turned into me thinking about silly things he does and I’m so sorry. I got way off track..ENJOY!!

[otome-dissection]

Idk man I just think that mizu/ena5 and its progression was really beautiful actually. I just think that the release of the ena5 song was also really beautiful and kind of the nail in the coffin for me and I haven't been able to get the event(s) out of my head all week and that I kind of want to talk about it, actually.

It's about being hurt so deeply and continuously that any kindness that could be offered to you manages to feel like a sin, that it makes you crumble and shatter but for all the wrong reasons, not because of the newfound safety, not out of relief, but something worse and more deeply ingrained in you than kindness ever was. It's about carefully measuring the distance at which you keep others away from yourself, to ensure that it never happens again ("To save yourself the trouble", if that makes it easier).

It's about realizing that the people you've been spending all this time with are drifting closer, that they just might bump up against the unsightly parts of yourself that you've tried to keep locked away, it's about turning around and sprinting at full speed and slamming the door shut and holding onto the handle behind you to stop it from turning, because you're as frightened of the possibility of another wound being inflicted on you as you are of the possibility that kinder, gentler hands will reach out and smooth over the exposed scar. It's about hating eyes that judge and silently condemn you as much as you hate eyes that simply see you and take all of you in without scrutiny, because no matter what they're looking and they're looking at you and they know that your hand's on that door handle and they know that you're hiding something because, as much as you try to keep it shut, they've seen through the crack that you foolishly left open.

(The prominence of eyes in Bake no Hana, specifically eyes looking and searching, and finally landing on you, the viewer, Mizuki, is so fucking. Visceral in my opinion. Every character in the MV stares at the viewer in a deadpan, almost judging way. Even though Mizuki knows deep down that niigo won't really hate them, won't judge them, she just can't stand their kindness either; any gaze directed at her is a loss, another prick in their skin. It screams "don't look at me" while making sure that you know, with horrific certainty, that they're looking for you, that you're being watched. You can't go outside, can't leave your room, because they're searching for you, and while that should be reassuring, to you it's anything but).

It's about not wanting to be dissected, whether it's with hands that want to pull your organs apart or stitch them back together because no matter what they're there, and they're getting frighteningly close to your heart. It's about blinding yourself and covering your eyes to it all because seeing means exposure and exposure means they're taking something from you and you can't do anything about it, much less take it all back, much less have a say in the matter. Everyone's just taking and taking and taking and you wish you could just be alone. You wish everyone would just disappear and you could live in a world all to yourself, for only yourself (but is that really what you want?).

It's about the way that, near the beginning of the Yoka ni Mitoreta MV, Mizuki and her loneliness is represented as a dark, splotchy stain in the shadows. No colors, no patterns, no way to clean it or wash it all away, just raw ugliness marring a blank canvas. It's about the way that Ena reaches out to it anyway, the way she startles when the glass shatters just when she finally starts reaching forward, the way that the rest of the MV/song represents her searching for and reaching only further out to Mizuki, even if the broken shards of glass will only cut her fingers, potentially leaving scars.

It's about how, in every way, subtly, directly, consciously, and subconsciously, Ena shows that she fucking cares.

It's about the way that Ena lets Mizuki have autonomy, despite the situation being so horribly out of their control. And it's such a delicate thing: If she really wants to, Mizuki can take the opportunity to just run away, keep running forever, repeat the cycle over and over, and maybe she'll just destroy herself with it again, but it can't be denied that it's something important to them, something she can't quite live without just yet, their means of survival. Mizuki's autonomy is their identity, it's her tailoring her own clothes and choosing her own ribbons and styling her own hair the way she does. Ena letting them have that is as much about trust as it is about understanding that Mizuki of all people should have this right, when control was something stripped from her throughout so much of her life. She couldn't control how she was born, how people look at her or why, can't control what they think of her; lacking control has only left Mizuki vulnerable to the cruelties of others, has only caused them to suffer, which is why it's so important that it's given to them now.

She had the control to make the choice to see niigo's welcoming love and run away instead of staying, and she has the control to make the choice now whether she wants to keep things the way they are or take a step forward to be at their side again. She has every right to have it, and I think the fact that Ena realizes and respects that, even if it's subconsciously, is really beautiful (there is an entire fucking Verse about this in the new song and just. God Look at this. It's so caring, unconditional, and for fucking What. I think there is something to be said about how much Ena is willing to put aside for Mizuki, and maybe deep down it isn't healthy, but for now I'm just kind of in awe)

It's about how insanely patient Ena has been this whole time. Mizuki says that she basically lied to Ena's face about telling her their secret, even after Ena said with such conviction that she would wait for Mizuki as long as it takes, and Ena is just kept waiting and waiting and worrying like this seemingly indefinitely. It's about how Mizuki danced around it, avoided it, kept the distance, straight up ran when she was finally pushed, but Ena still chased anyway when she saw that she couldn't wait anymore, kept chasing just enough to intervene and get a straight answer out of Mizuki when she really needed to, but still leaving her enough space to leave if that was truly what she wanted. It's about how relieved Ena is the moment that Mizuki finally says outright how much they want to be with her and niigo, how much she wants to try, how much more light Ena's voice sounds when she grabs her hand, relieved, the way that the relief she feels can be felt through the music, throughout the entirety of Yoka ni Mitoreta, the way that warm colors always follow her when she chases after Mizuki, just to hold onto her and stop her from running away completely.

It's about how that careful combination of Ena's directness, Ena's persistence, Ena's warmth, her patience, her bluntness about her feelings, the way she chases and holds on but not too tight and her regard for how unsafe and exposed Mizuki feels actually works and breaks it all down. It's about how she really did reach through to Mizuki, despite the thorns and broken glass shards and nearly-unfulfilled promises, the way that Mizuki did finally let her turn the door handle and step through to see what she'd been hiding all this time, the way that Mizuki's hand, limp, when Ena first grabs onto it, shifts to hold hers back as they cry in the face of Ena's gentleness.

Despite how harsh Mizu/Ena5, and even Ena herself as a character can be (or at least was in the very beginning of pjsk), everything is somehow gentle and warm in the end, blindingly so. And you know what, I think that's beautiful. And what's even more beautiful than that is how Mizuki allows themself to crumble and shatter under that kindness, that warm light, but this time, finally, out of relief.

On a final note, I just want to say that I also appreciate how all that didn't have to solve everything. The scars haven't disappeared, haven't gone away, and Mizuki knows that their desire to run hasn't gone away forever, and maybe it never truly will. But for now they've calmed it, at least a little. She's learning to allow herself to be seen, learning that when someone's fingertips brush over their scars the way Ena's did that it's only out of care, and that maybe taking in that care and allowing herself to feel kindness and safety is okay. They're safe, for now, somehow. They're learning. They're trying. And I think that's cool :)

[look-at-the-soul]

Every little thing you do- Part 2

Tommy Shelby x reader

Series Master list

Thank you so much for giving this little idea so much love 💕 it means a lot! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts

Word count: 2,695

The house was quiet, it was probably pretty late by now, but at least the initial commotion was calmer now. Tommy’s eyes focused on the flame flickering on the bedside table, the room was quiet. Then his eyes darted to Y/N… his best friend seemed so vulnerable, so small. He had seen the marks her father left on her back it was a horrible sight and now it looked worse. As if her life wasn’t complicated enough by the unplanned pregnancy, Y/N would have to deal with the physical pain as well.

He studied Y/N’s face for a minute, taking in the swollen eyes from crying too much, his heart aches for her, she didn’t deserve to be treated like this. She held a special place close to his heart since they were kids.

“Do you’ve a minute?” Polly asked.

As she realized the doubt in her nephew’s eyes, she assured him that Y/N would sleep for a while. After cleaning her injuries and adding a strong ointment to the wounds on her back, Polly checked the baby and gave Y/N a tea to help her sleep.

Tommy gave Y/N one more look and covered her arm with the thin sheet, but was careful enough to not hurt her before he walked out of what was once Ada’s room in Watery Lane.

“What happened?” He found Polly downstairs stomping her cigarette on the ashtray. Earlier, she didn’t ask questions, she just rushed to take care of Y/N’s wounds just she had done so many times when they were kids, and eventually teenagers on the brick of trouble every time.

“Y/N is pregnant, the son of a bitch told her he wasn’t sure the baby is his.”

“And that’s why her father hit her like that?!” She asked scandalized. “He’s an animal.”

“How’s the baby, really?” He asked with genuine concern.

Polly sighed. “She was smart to offer her back, so the belt wouldn’t hit in any compromising area, but I’d keep her in bed just in case.” She suggested.

“Tommy,” Scudboat apologized for the interruption, “we found the vehicle, Scott has been hiding in the house, do you want the men to enter and get him?”

Leaning on the counter, Tommy considered his options for a few seconds. “No, keep someone watching his house at all times, he might try to escape.”

As the blinder left him again alone with his aunt, Tommy expressed out loud a decision he had already made.

“We can’t leave her alone Pol.” He clenched his jaw. “She’s on her own, that bastard just used her and her family won’t help her with the baby yo-you saw how they hurt her.”

“I know.” She added breathlessly stopping for a second as she got the kettle. “They turned their backs on her when she needed them the most.”

“Sort a doctor tomorrow morning to make sure they’ll be fine.”

“And then what?” Pol stared at him.

“I just got a house, still needs a few things… I can take Y/N there, because if she stays here, she’ll see her parents all damn day.”

“In the meantime if she needs another place, there’s my house as well.”

Tommy folded his arms against his chest and nodded profusely.

“Poor Y/N… she’ll have a hard time with people pointing fingers at her all the time.” Polly shook her head.

Tommy remembered the long stares and whispers over Ada, when she suddenly got married and started showing no long after. He had been forced to walk around with the gun in his hand for several weeks. They even kicked her out of a boutique once she tried buying a dress and Tommy had to stop by with a few men until his sister got the dress that she wanted.

“I’ll blind anyone who dares to do something against Y/N.” He stated firmly pouring some whiskey finally.

“What happened?” Finn asked looking from his brother to his aunt.

“If anyone asks,” Tommy pointed a finger at him, “you haven’t seen Y/N here alright?”

Finn frowned. “But I haven’t seen her.”

“Exactly.” Tommy agreed walking towards the fireplace, he added a few pieces of wood and then took a seat in front of it. Pondering on the previous events, worry installed on his shoulders of what might happen. Anger spreading on his body at the thought of his best friend being humiliated by her useless boyfriend, after all she had done for the prick and he had the audacity to doubt the baby was his. Thanks to her, Scott got the chance to be a blinder, and with that endless benefits.

One of his men knocked desperately and as Tommy went to see what was happening he heard the best news of the day.

“We followed Scott, he was at the train station.”

He took the remaining of his drink in a swing. “Was?”

“The boys took him to the warehouse, he had a ticket to escape.”

Tommy gave his aunt a look. “If Y/N wakes up, send someone to let me know.”

As Polly saw them disappear, her eyes darted upwards, in a silent prayer. She knew Scott wouldn’t live a day without regretting his decision. Taking her cup of tea with her, she decided to look for some clothes and clean sheets to provide to Y/N while they sorted everything out.

Y/N was considered part of the family, she and Tommy had always been close, in a way Y/N was the only person who could understand her nephew. The one who he trusted the most.

She decided to go to the church the following morning to light a candle and pray for Y/N and the baby.

Taking a deep breath and one of her eyes cracked a bit open. As everything started to hurt so bad, her chest felt heavy as memories from what had happened hit Y/N hard. Word by word her parents had said replayed in her mind.

A single tear rolled down from her eye to her nose. With trembling fingers, Y/N moved one of her hands to the yet non-existent bump. It was still early to start showing but she couldn’t help but think her baby was starting to grow inside her.

Despite the circumstances, Y/N felt like giving her own life for this baby. It didn’t matter that Scott or her family decided to leave her.

Tommy opened the door carefully to not wake Y/N up, but to his surprise she was already awake.

“Go on… say it.” She was waiting for Tommy’s lecture.

Scott had turned his back just like her parents. All the people she thought she could rely on showed her to not take them for granted.

But Tommy shook his head.

“How are you feeling?” He asked taking the chair in the corner to place it next to the bed.

“Like a total failure.” She admitted with tears in her eyes.

“Y/N.” Tommy didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, to help her. “Hey, look at me.” He spoke softly and covered one of her hands with his own.

Y/N started biting the inside of her cheek to prevent more tears to come out. But looked at her best friend anyways.

“You’re not alone, I know you’ve a lot to take in at the moment… but you can count on me for everything.” He offered sincerely.

She didn’t feel worth any of this, she felt dirty, stupid for believing in Scott’s love words. How could she have been so naïve?

“Why?” Her voice broke. “Why do you want to help me when I’ve done everything wrong?”

“Don’t do this to yourself.” Tommy swallowed hard. “Don’t let them get in your head, I know how it is, but this isn’t your fault.”

“Of course it is! I gave myself away to Scott, I’m just another whore.”

Tommy lost his control, he didn’t want her to feel this way.

“You’re not a whore. You did it out of love and that’s not something to regret.”

“I deserve this, my father is right.” Y/N shook her head, she angrily wiped a tear away.

“No, you don’t deserve this shit happening. Y/N you’re a good woman an-”

Y/N’s grandmother asked if she could walk into the room. Tommy felt grateful for the interruption because he didn’t know how to deal this situation. He didn’t want to say that he had warned Y/N about her now ex boyfriend and make her feel worse than she already did.

“I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”

At least he got a chance last night at the warehouse to make the bastard pay for playing with Y/N’s heart. Tommy made it very clear he better disappear from her life for good because if he ever saw him again, he wouldn’t let him walk twice alive.

He had been a few punches away from killing Scott. But the image of Y/N holding a baby in her arms stopped him… he wouldn’t be responsible for killing that baby’s father, even though Scott definitely deserved it. So he limited himself to leave a little warning, a message.

“This is a mess, Y/N feels so guilty for getting into this.” Tommy announced walking into the kitchen. He found his sister and aunt making breakfast.

Tommy’s eyes fixed on Karl and he was taken back in time to when Ada thought he had betrayed Freddie. He was a lot of things, but he’d never cause a pain like that to a child. At least not one of his own people.

From the beginning, he knew Scott was a piece of shit, but Y/N seemed so happy and thrilled, how would he step in to destroy her happiness? He never imagined he’d have to help her pick up the broken pieces of her heart. The sudden presence of Polly close to him made him snap back into reality, she stepped closer to help him light the cigarette that was hanging from his mouth.

Tommy moved his eyes towards his nephew, he was playing with a truck on the floor. Perhaps he was overthinking but he didn’t know what would he answer when Y/N’s child asked about his or her father.

“Ada would you talk to Y/N?”

“About what?”

“When you got pregnant…” he began with embarrassment in his eyes to talk about that. “It’s something similar.”

They’ve come a long way ever since, but Tommy still regretted the time they spent apart. Family was everything to him.

“And what do you want me to say Tommy? Her boyfriend dumped her, it’s not the same I got married.”

He sighed in frustration. “I just want Y/N to feel our support.”

“You’re going to make her feel overwhelmed! I know how noisy you can be.” Ada protested.

Tommy scoffed, he felt offended by his sister’s words. He just wanted to help Y/N.

“I’ll talk to her.” Polly intervened placing some food on a tray to give Y/N.

“Thank you.”

Ada clicked her tongue and crossed her arms. Her eyes boring into her brother.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

But Ada turned the corner of her mouth down and shuddered. “Nothing it’s just strange to see you go above and beyond for someone.”

As she walked out of the kitchen, Tommy found himself thinking of her words. She was telling the truth but… but how could he stand there and do nothing for Y/N?

He knew her like the palm of his hand, she had been by his side since forever, encouraging him to follow his dreams, telling him the truth right in his face when he messed up. Even he didn’t want to hear it.

There was no other way to do this, she’d have his entire support through the pregnancy and whatever she might need afterwards.

“Mr. Shelby!” Y/N’s grandmother shouted from upstairs.

Tommy skipped a few steps and when he reached Ada’s old room, he found Polly holding Y/N’s hair back, she had been sick and her grandmother was trying to hold her trembling body.

“I’m sorry Pol. Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry for? With everything you’ve been through it’s not a surprise your stomach can’t handle food. Tommy help me here.” His aunt asked him to take her place so Y/N could use his strength as support. “Take her to that chair, while I sort this out.”

Following Polly’s instructions, Tommy lead Y/N carefully to the chair in the corner while his aunt and Y/N’s grandma changed the bedsheets. Ada joined them a moment later with a glass of water. “Try some crackers, it helped me with sickness during my pregnancy.” She offered taking the sheets downstairs.

Y/N groaned feeling embarrassed and mortified for everything. As soon as she smelled the food her stomach protested, but she felt bad for telling Polly something so she decided to just eat the food. But the moment she got the first bite, she couldn’t help it and it ended in her throwing up and making a mess.

“I want to thank you for taking care of her.” Y/N’s grandmother admitted taking her hand.

“I was just thinking…” Tommy started to say, “You could come with me to the new place I got.” Then he turned to face her grandmother. “It’s outside the city, away from curious eyes and it’s surrounded by trees.”

“No.” Y/N stated.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea dear.” Her grandma smiled at Tommy. “Fresh air could help her.”

Y/N sighed frustrated with herself, with the situation.

“Think about it, yeah?” Tommy suggested. “That way you won’t run into your parents everyday, and you can walk to the lake to relax.”

“He’s right.” Her grandma approved. “You’ll feel grateful to be away from the drama.”

“Perfect! Looks like you got it all figured out Tommy.” She snapped. “Just like my mother who wanted to send me to her aunt’s farm.”

She knew this wasn’t fair, he was the only one offering support, but she couldn’t help it, she felt on the brick, like everything was falling apart. And she was angry with herself.

Polly pushed Tommy away and gently grabbed Y/N’s arm. “Sweetheart all of this worry isn’t right for the baby. For the first time, I think going to that house is the best idea.”

“Unfortunately your choices are limited my darling.” Y/N’s grandma spoke softly. “But you should know that these wonderful people are trying to help you.”

She was trying to be strong, to pretend this didn’t hurt her, but truth is he world was crashing down. And this was only the beginning.

That seemed to click on Y/N’s mind because she gave a small nod, her lower lip gave in and it started quivering, then the tears started to fall down her cheeks.

“Thank you so much.” Y/N sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” Emotions took over her.

Her grandma pulled her in for a hug, wrapping her arms protectively around her just like she did when she was a child. “The Lord removed some people from your life but look at the angels he placed right away.”

Tommy saw Polly dabbing the corner of her eyes with her sleeve.

“This baby will grow surrounded by people who really love him or her.” He assured her.

“Now how about I help you take a bath? The doctor should arrive shortly.” Polly offered rubbing her back.

Her grandma squeezed between them. “I better go, said I was going to church.”

“Thank you for coming gran.” Y/N gave her a tight hug.

As they moved to get things done, Polly stopped her nephew before he could walk downstairs. “You’re brave for helping her like this.”

“I can’t leave her on her own.” He tried to explain, but Polly interrupted him.

“Your mother raised you right.” She then, in an unexpected move touched his shoulder. “She’d be proud of you.”

Part 3

Master list

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[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

more [svsss] [omegaverse au] because i can’t stop

content warning for some sex pests buzzing around a 7-year-old shen yuan, but it gets handled quickly. and violently :)

any text that’s written [like this] will be a link to a related post or explanation from my other blog

when [shen yuan transmigrates]into PIDW, he wakes up on the back of an ox cart beside a few crates and sacks, one arm tied to the side of the cart. he is seven years old, and he’s just had his first [soft heat]. he’s on the cart for two days, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on (and what the fuck a soft heat is??? he really transmigrated into one of those trashy omegaverse novels??? which fucking one?!!), until the driver drops him off at the warm red pavilion. well. that’s one question answered.

he learns from eavesdropping on the cart driver and brothel madam speaking that his parents, beta farmers, arranged for his sale as soon as he started showing preheat symptoms. they had enough beta children to work the farm, apparently, and a little omega would be too much trouble to handle plus another mouth to feed. it’s not uncommon, he learns, for poor families to sell off their omega children, and he’s lucky that his parents cared enough for him to wait until his first soft heat. any place that would buy an omega before that stage, the madam says, is not a good place for a child to wind up.

the madam finally unbinds shen yuan and inspects him. he’s small and thin, but he can read and write and he’s surprisingly good with numbers. he can’t cook and he’s not very good at cleaning, but he shows himself to be polite and curious. and later, after the sale is settled, the other omegas squeal over how cute he is. when he gains a little weight, they insist, he’ll he terribly popular with their clients. the thought makes shen yuan ill.

it turns out to be true, but not in the way that he feared. at least not at first. he’s trained by one of the older omegas, who teaches him how to properly pour tea and serve the guests. he’s so young, all he can really do is speak with them. that’s more than enough though. their clients adore him, speak with him for hours. they treat him like a favored nephew, bringing him sweets and books and toys that he keeps upstairs in the room he shares with the youngest omegas at the brothel—a 16-year-old boy and a 17-year-old girl. they treat him like a little brother.

there is one guest who they hide him from. he isn’t dangerous, gege and jiejie insist, but he’s very prickly and he doesn’t like many people. he only ever shows up at night, and he always asks for the same room and the same three women. they stay in there for a long time, but the cloying scent of sex never hangs in the air when shen yuan passes by. he never sees the man, and gege and jiejie are pleased about that.

very few of the guests shen yuan does see are bold enough to try to push for more intimate interaction with shen yuan. lingering touches, fingers carding through his hair or stroking his ears, hands brazenly reaching for his thighs. every time, shen yuan freezes up. he hates it more than anything, knows all he’d have to do is shove them away or shout, but he can’t. each time one of them gets that possessive look in their eyes, his blood freezes in his veins and bile rises in the back of his throat. they never do more than that, but he feels disgusting every time.

it doesn’t happen often, really, and a part of him feels like he’s overreacting. they’re not doing anything wrong; this is a brothel. that’s what people do at brothels, right? that’s what he’s been telling himself at night as he scrubs away the alphas’ touch each time it happens. nevermind that they only touch him when no one is looking, that they treat him like he’s stupid and tell him it’s their special secret. he was a grownup just a year ago. he knows it’s bullshit, but his body won’t listen when he tells it to make them stop. he’s tired and overwhelmed and sick of feeling helpless like this, and he can already feel his skin stinging from how hard he’ll scrub tonight just to stop feeling so dirty.

so he cries when this alpha rests one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his thigh. he cries when this alpha noses at his hairline, presses a kiss to his forehead. jiejie sees this time, and before shen yuan’s overwhelming shame has time to set in, she’s grabbed the alpha by the hair and started tugging him toward the door, hissing and clawing at his face as she goes. the madam comes out at the commotion and hears one of her omegas shouting about ‘putting your filthy old hands on our a-yuan,’ sees the boy sitting wide-eyed and tear-stained at the table, and her scent turns dark and dangerous. she takes the man outside. she comes back with blood staining her hands.

no one touches him after that. he spends more time in the kitchens, helps with the cooking and the cleaning. the madam has him help with bookkeeping, and the few clients he sees are regulars that he’s told the madam he sort of misses. even then, the visits are supervised by jiejie or gege.

things get better. no one bothers him anymore. he gets fewer presents now, but that’s fine. he doesn’t want them if it means old strangers get to grab at him under the table. for the next two years, things settle into an easy, relaxing calm. if this is the life he’ll be living in airplane shooting toward the sky’s shitty omegaverse novel, it’s not too bad. it’s easy to find places to help, and the weird little pack he’s been adopted into likes him. it could be worse. he could be a cultivator.

next >>

[pilot-boi]

White Knight Time Travel idea : People are suspecting..

Jaune and Weiss are at the Vytal Festival , each one with their respective teams , their mission has gone..well.. so far. Even without trying to change so much some things never change like Team CVFY and Prof.Port saving the city or Ruby meeting Penny...

But that doesn't matter compared to the titanic work they would have to do during this specific moment..it was now or never

~Weiss Side~

Ruby:WE DID IIIT!!!!....Anyone esle is starving?....

Weiss listened to Ruby and Blake's chat from the side , each time they have this small moments the more she thinks how everyone took Beacon's days from granted

Having to relieve the fight against Team ABRN made her notice how..unprepared they were ; even herself with her "Competent" perfomance wasn't still not enough to face that monster..

Weiss..

The Grimm entering Beacon..

Weiss..

The Witch's inner circle playing right under their noses..

WEISS..

Pyrrha and Penny along many other students being casualties of the..

WEISSS!

Weiss:W-W-What?!

Yang: Your scroll is ringing , shouldn't you answer it?

Weiss noticed her scroll , the contact named "FATHER"..

Right..her time at Beacon was almost up..

Weiss:I will call him later , thanks for making me know Yang..

The Blonde Brawler has noticed her friend weird..this last few day , she can't say why..but it's there , spacing out of chats most of the time or reacting to certain words like Destiny , Maiden or even mentioning locations like Haven Academy can get her all shaky

Right now Ice Queen is looking at her Sis talking with Emerald and her silent friend like she's trying way too hard to keep herself civil , her face may not show it but that tense posture and hands behind shouted something was wrong

And to say the last person she saw acting this way her Dad after..her Supermom left was all she needed to know , Ice Queen's hiding something and she will find out

~Jaune's side~

Jaune did miss Beacon , the academy.. , but coming right back wouldn't make it any better..quite the contrary it shows him how somethings must remain as memories..

The Vytal Festival just started and the mood seems festive enough for him to enjoy a little. Children playing around , teens being themselves truly a moment to breathe fresh air

Miss : Gather around as I tell the story of the Girl who fell through the World!

Jaune tenses hearing that , it's just a woman reading a story to a bunch of kids..nothing dangerous..

Yet..

He takes a look at his armour , clean not rusted..his face is still young and Crocea Mors is still complete..

Ren: Jaune?

Jaune:W-What?!

Nora: You have been standing there for a while , did the story peak your interest? Alyx's story is a classic! The Curious Cat is my favorite character! So mischevious!

If looks could kill , Nora's smile would have been erased a while ago..

Jaune:That Cat is nothing but troubles..

Nora:What? Don't tell me you are a fan of the Red Prince? Or the Rusted Knight?

Sensing hostility , Ren tried to change the topic..

Ren:Why don't we go with Pyrrha? She's saved us a nice spot in that Mistralian restaurant.

Both teammates agree , Nora leaves because she has won another petty argument..but Jaune seemed so personal about it..The Girl who fell through the World is just a Children's story..why is he so defensive about it?

Lie Ren is someone who can read the room quite well and to his knowledge..there's something wrong with Jaune..

He acts like..an adult sometimes , there's nothing wrong with that but it seems off..

Even their stategies , they are a group of Four , Team JNPR..but Jaune always acts like only Nora and him are part of the team

Ren even hears his silent sobs when he has nightmares , the words "Cinder" "Kill" "Penny" "Pyrrha" is all he has as evidence , trying to make sense of said word it would be something like

Cinder will kill Pyrrha and Penny

That sounded so..dumb , Cinder is a student along her team but he would ask Jaune later right now they have a fight to win

👀👀👀

So many of these WK Time travel asks are from their POV, I LOVE this look into their friends’ view

[fanficsiwillneverwrite]

Part 2 of this

Gravity Falls: See You Next Summer

Ford carefully places a few pieces of irradiated mushrooms onto a stump nearby—deadly poison to mankind, but a delicious treat to most if not all Gravity Falls creatures. (Don’t ask him how he came to possess such substances, but, yes, his brother did have some involvement.) He hurries into hiding, cleaning the lens of his camera as he moves to assure the perfect shot. And now, the agonizing part: waiting.

A hooded figure hobbles into frame some minutes later, taking the bait. Ford steadies his camera—the flash startles the creature and it scurries off back into the woods.

“Damn. Missed it.”

He emerges from the bushes and hurries after the creature. He needs to get solid evidence of the creature’s existence in order to get the funds for their next expedition. The sketches in his journal simply won’t do.

—

The Mystery Shack actually looks better with Soos now running it, though Mabel will never admit such a thing out loud. The ‘S’ in Shack is no longer hanging crooked. The lawn is trimmed with fresh flowers scattered everywhere. The Bottomless Pit now has a safety railing around it. And all the little bumps and bruises formulated throughout the years from Stan running it have nearly vanished, leaving only tidiness and efficiency. They find Stan grumbling about it in the gift shop.

He lifts a small key chain out of a cardboard box. “$4.99 for a stupid keychain? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Oh… you think we should be selling them for less?” wonders Melody, observing the merchandise.

“For less?” He rips off the ‘Made in China’ label, then takes a permanent marker and adds a zero in between the four and the nine. “Say troll people made ‘em. Tourists are suckers for troll people. You’ll sell out in minutes!”

Dad clears his throat to get his attention. Stan turns just as Melody fumbles out a few protests. “Kids! You’re here,” he says, greeting Dipper and Mabel first. He pulls them into a tight embrace, picking them up and swirling them around to emphasize his excitement. His attention quickly turns to their dad. “And Matty, my favorite nephew!” He searches behind him. “Where’s your old lady? Didn’t wanna make the trip up?”

Dad shifts. “Oh, uh, you mean Cait? No, she’s at home, I think…”

“Hey, I get it. Her Stan-in-law can be a little much sometimes,” he teases, squeezing the kids a little tighter, but no one laughs.

Their dad scratches the back of his neck. “Stan, Cait and I… we divorced.” He waits, but Stan looks back at him with a blank expression. Mom and dad separated early last summer and divorced right before Valentine’s Day of this year. Mabel, like always, made them a card for their special day, but threw it out after remembering. She spent the rest of the night crying in her room about it. A sour taste still lingers in Mabel’s mouth at the memory. “You don’t remember?”

He doesn’t. Probably not fully. Ford says his memory is still a little wonky and will likely stay that way for a while.

“Oh, uh, yeah. That’s right.” And Stan frowns, dropping the kids as if they’re cats who know how to land on their feet. They recover easily. “This ol’ noggin ain’t workin’ like it used to...” He knocks on his head for emphasis. “Divorced,” he mumbles to himself after. “Gotta remember that.”

“Are you sure it isn’t any trouble having them stay with you again for a few weeks?” continues dad, probably thinking his memory problems stem from old age or something, not a memory gun.

Stan ruffles Mabel’s hair. “Are you kidding? Mi casa es… uh, Soos’s casa, too!” And Soos waves at them in the background.

[blackbat05]

Recuperate

Kim Gimyeong/Jake x Reader (Lookism)

Plot: On the run from Worker’s assault on Big Deal, Jake needs a place to hide. Thankfully, you’re there for him.

Genre: PG 13

A/N: The lack of Big Deal content after like feeding us through Covid should be illegal😭 PTJ probably thought at that rate Jake Kim would have become the main character instead.

“Lineman?”

The young man looks at you apologetically. “I’m sorry, we had nowhere else to go.”

You quickly ushered them in, making sure that no one else saw you.

He limps towards the sofa, supporting an injured Jake with much difficulty. You take your medical kit for emergencies, following them to the living room.

“Oh my god, how bad is it?”

Lineman gives you a quick run down on Jake’s injuries much to your shock and horror. You couldn’t believe that Eugene actually had the audacity to launch an attack on Big Deal.

“What about the rest? Are they alright?”

The young man sighs, telling you that the group had split up on Jake’s orders. He has no idea where any of them are now. “For all I know, they could have been caught.”

Your heart clenches at the thought. They didn’t deserve any of this. Jake had worked so hard to improve the image of Big Deal, to create a family. All the hard work had now shattered into pieces with its future hanging in the balance.

You see the fatigue on Lineman’s face. “You should go and get some rest. I’ll take care of him. Close the curtains so that no one can see you.”

The man nods, bowing in gratitude. “Thank you. Thank you so much. Jake is lucky to have you.” With that, he excuses himself from the living room.

As you cleaned up his wounds, you can’t help but to let your mind wander. Lost in thoughts, you almost didn’t see Jake moving from the sofa.

“Jake! Are you alright? Don’t get up.”

He slowly blinks his eyes, turning his head to face you. The scars on his nose and lips are even more apparent after the medical aid and your heart breaks at the thought of what he’s putting himself through.

“Babe?”

You nod, holding his hand. “How you feeling?”

Jake groans, attempting to wiggle his feet. “Like I was hit by a truck. But I’ll live.”

“Lineman told me everything. What are you guys planning to do now?”

He sighs heavily. “We have no choice but to lay low. I don’t like it any more than the guys do, but I can’t afford anyone else being thrown into prison because of me.”

A moment of silence passes between the two of you. Jake squeezes your hand to get your attention. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry that you have me as your boyfriend. You clearly deserve more than a gangster.” You frown at his statement.

“No. You don’t get to say that.” You firmly tell him. “You did what you had to do. You protected your family. Not many people would have the courage to do that.” Unfortunately, Jake still looks very troubled.

“Whatever it is, I’ll be with you. You and Lineman can stay as long as you like. We just need to take extra precautions. I’m not going to let you out of my sight that easily. Not especially when Xiaolong almost killed you.” You can’t help but to tear at that thought.

Jake cups your face, bringing you closer to him. “But I’m still here, aren’t I?” He nuzzles your nose.

You nod, trying to recollect yourself. A wave of determination washes over you. “You will stay until you’re fully healed. When Daniel gets stronger… when Big Deal reunites… you will be ready to fight back and end this war once and for all. We will be free.”

Jake smiles at the thought of your future. It was the only thing that kept him going, kept him fighting. He gently pushes himself up, assessing the current state of his body. Satisfied, he stands up with you at his side.

“What are you doing?” You are slightly alarmed. “Didn’t you hear what I said? You need to-”

“Rest.” He finishes the sentence for you. “But I’m not going to lie in bed the whole day. I got to help out, get my mind of things for now. So how about we make dinner?”

It was that same boyish grin that you fell in love with during your first encounter with him on the streets of Big Deal. That easy going nature of his that made everyone around him comfortable.

Letting him lean on you, the two of you entered the kitchen to prepare dinner. The act was oddly simple, yet you cherished the moment even more. Especially with what had just happened.

As you instructed him to mix the batter, you started to chop on the chives silently, mind deep in thought once more.

“Hey Jake?”

“Hm?”

“We’ll get through this. One day at a time.”

“One day at a time.” He repeats after you. Jake doesn’t know how, but you were always so hopeful. Lineman did the right thing bringing them to your house.

Maybe, you were the light to what was his darkest times. You were his hope. You gave him the will to stay strong and fight.

“I love you.”

“And I love you so much. Don’t you forget that.”

[twoidiotwriters1]

Daughter of Olympus (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: The Nemean lion is so baby me thinks -Danny Words: 2,813 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter / Next Chapter Listen to: 'Jumpstarted' -by Jukebox The Ghost

XXIII: I Hope This Doesn't Awaken Anything in Me

"Welcome, baby!" My mother has been waiting for me. "Take a seat—You've gotten so big since the last time we spoke!"

I examine myself on one of the many mirrors around in the living room. I have not grown, the only difference is the bruises and scratches on my body from all the hard training. 

"Why am I here? Or why are you..." I frown. "Where are we?"

"This is my home in Olympus. Have a drink!" Pink lemonade appears on the table, along with my favorite super-stuffed cookies. My mother's smile widens. "All for you."

"Why?"

"Your birthday!" She clasps her hands together. "Thirteen is a cute age! So many changes..." She stares at me intently. "Let's talk about it."

I step back. "I'm sure I can ask Chiron later on—"

"Oh, that old horse doesn't see the full potential of an Aphrodite," she turns up her nose. "Might and skill—as if love isn't at the core of everything! Love—"

"Makes people useless," a man's voice comes from the doorway.

Aphrodite's eyes flash with annoyance. "Clean your boots before coming in."

"I'm only here to grab lunch," Hephaestus makes his way to the kitchen. "Hi again, kid."

"Hi," I say awestruck.

This has to be their shared home, though it's clearly decorated and used by Aphrodite only. I doubt he likes spending his afternoons in a soft and cozy room like this one.

"Can you hurry?" Aphrodite asks coldly. "We're having a private conversation."

"Ruining her," he glances at us. "The first of your children that's not a lost cause, and you're tainting her mind already."

"Tainting her?" My mother's eyes fill with tears. "You gave her the pantodýnamos!" Hephaestus grumbles, but I can't hear what he's saying. "You're such a momma's boy, and you don't even like her!"

The god's gaze is on fire, though unlike Ares's, his isn't violent. "Your child will be rewarded—mine won't have her luck, and that's on you." Hephaestus looks at me before leaving. "You've dealt with your brother's vanishment bravely, you'll learn from it."

Most gods take the opportunity to show off in front of mortals, but he seems to dislike talking to us. I can't blame him, he's been overshadowed by his peers, and Aphrodite has deemed him unlovable, that's got to sting.

"You have a funny mind," my mother sighs, drying her tears. "He's not special, honey. Hephaestus wants to be worshiped as much as I do."

"You were listening to my thoughts," I frown.

"Wherever love is, I get called to it. That's how it works."

I return to our prior discussion. "What can you tell me that not even Chiron would know?"

"Right!" My mother claps excitedly. "I haven't gotten one like you in decades!"

"What are you talking about?"

"A matchmaker!" She beams. "You see soul lights!"

To my mind comes that scarlet glow that enveloped Annabeth and Percy. "You mean that's a power?" I stammer. "That's a... a thing Aphrodite can do?"

"It's a blessing," she brushes my hair lovingly.

"I don't want it!" I whine. "My siblings do that all the time and they only cause trouble!"

"That's innocent fun," she starts to erase the bruises and scratches from my body. "This is a gift! To be a spokeswoman of love is..." My mom stops her speech and makes a face. "You think it's beneath you. Love is part of who you are, Arae."

I pout. "What's the use?"

"Soul lights show more than just compatibility. People can't hide their true nature from you."

I try to understand what she means. "So I can see... what, exactly?"

"Let's put it this way," Mother tilts her head pensively. "If you were to visit a chef's kitchen, you'd see him light up while he's cooking. If someone swears they care about something, but their skin remains the same, you'd know they're not being genuine."

"So I could discover who the traitor is?" I ask eagerly.

My mother frowns a little, but she nods. "You could."

If training is not enough, I have to prove I'm valuable in other ways. 

"Mom, I'll make good use of this gift."

"I have no doubt," she sighs heavily. I get up to leave, but she speaks one last time. "I don't think my husband is unlovable, Ara. But he doesn't respect me, so I don't respect him."

I have nothing to say to that, but I do have a question. "Do you hate that I like his children better than some of my siblings?"

She laughs. "Why would I hate you for loving those who need it most?"

If Jason dies in the stupidest way possible, she'll go to the Underworld, drag him back to life, and kill him herself. 

"It's no use, child," Hera tells Piper.

The girl is holding onto Jason desperately. The wolf house has been restored to its original gloomy looks, and luckily for Ara, the Nemean lion lives. He's licking his paws next to her.

"This is your fault," Thalia cries. "Do something!"

"Do not address me that way, girl. I am the queen—"

"Fix him!"

"I did warn him. I would never intentionally hurt the boy. He was to be my champion. I told them to close their eyes before I revealed my true form."

"Um... True form is bad, right?" Leo frowns. "So why did you do it?"

"I unleashed my power to help you, fool! I became pure energy so I could disintegrate the monsters, restore this place, and even save these miserable Hunters from the ice."

"But mortals can't look upon you in that form! You've killed him!" Thalia cries.

"That's what our prophecy meant," Leo pouts. "Death unleash, through Hera's rage. Come on, lady. You're a goddess. Do some voodoo magic on him! Bring him back."

"It doesn't work like that," Ara replies quietly. She remembers Bianca Di Angelo, how her ghost asked Nico to stop his attempts at resurrecting her.

"He's breathing!" Piper gasps.

"Impossible," Hera gets slightly closer. "I wish it were true, child, but no mortal has ever—"

"Jason! Listen to me. You can do this. Come back. You're going to be fine."

"Healing is not a power of Aphrodite," Hera tries to be the voice of reason, but reason can't reach a broken heart. "Even I cannot fix this, girl. His mortal spirit—"

"Jason," Piper's voice echoes in an unnatural way. "Wake up."

The boy opens his eyes abruptly, they're like Kronos's and for a moment Ara fears he's been possessed by an evil being, but then his eyes go back to normal, and he coughs. "What—what happened?"

"Impossible!" Hera steps back in shock.

Piper pulls Jason into a hug and squeezes him. 

"Crushing me..." He chokes out.

"Sorry," she sniffs, hastily cleaning her face.

"How do you feel?" Thalia asks.

"Hot. Mouth is dry. And I saw something... really terrible."

"That was Hera. Her Majesty, the Loose Cannon."

"That's it, Thalia Grace! I will turn you into an aardvark, so help me—"

"Stop it, you two," Piper snaps.

Ara hits Jason. "Ouch!"

"That's for not closing your eyes!" She scolds him. "Don't you have any survival instincts at all?"

"I almost died and you're punching me?" He complains.

"I wouldn't punch you if you were smart! Leo almost died too but that wasn't his fault! And I'm not punching him, am I?"

"Heard that? I'm smarter than the lightning boy," Leo grins, but he holds his tongue after Ara glares at him.

"Now..." Piper speaks as they help Jason up. "Hera—Your Majesty—we couldn't have rescued you without the Hunters. And Thalia, you never would've seen Jason again—I wouldn't have met him—if it weren't for Hera. You two make nice, because we've got bigger problems."

After a moment of heavy silence, Thalia huffs. "You've got spirit, Piper. You ever want to be a Hunter, call me. We could use you." She places a card inside Piper's jacket.

"Fortunately for this Hunter, you have a point, daughter of Aphrodite," Hera crosses her arms. "You wondered, Piper, why I chose you for this quest, why I didn't reveal your secret in the beginning, even when I knew Enceladus was using you. I must admit, until this moment I was not sure. Something told me you would be vital to the quest. Now I see I was right. You're even stronger than I realized. And you are correct about the dangers to come. We must work together."

"Yeah," Leo sighs. "I don't suppose that Porphyrion guy just melted and died, huh?"

"No. By saving me, and saving this place, you prevented Gaea from waking. You have bought us some time. But Porphyrion has risen. He simply knew better than to stay here, especially since he has not yet regained his full power. Giants can only be killed by a combination of god and demigod, working together. Once you freed me—"

"He ran away. But to where?"

"Home," Ara scratches her lion's ear. "Where all of them were born the first time."

Hera stares at her. "Arae Jackson, when the Fates chose you none of us understood, but I'm starting to see through your disguise. Your resilience and wits are outstanding."

The girl seriously doubts that, considering she's the only one who looks like she's been run over by a truck and struggles with basic math.

After a second of silence, Thalia clears her throat. "I need to find Annabeth, she has to know what's happened here."

"Thalia..." Jason holds her hand. "We never got to talk about this place, or—"

"I know. I lost you here once. I don't want to leave you again. But we'll meet soon. I'll rendezvous with you back at Camp Half-Blood." She looks at the goddess. "You'll see them there safely? It's the least you can do." 

"It's not your place to tell me—"

"Queen Hera," Piper presses.

"Fine. Yes. Just off with you, Hunter!" Hera scowls.

Thalia reaches Ara and she smirks. "Hit by lightning. What's next, bitten by a hellhound?"

"That already happened. Mrs. O'Leary mistook me for a chew toy," Ara grins. "What's next is to be drowned."

Thalia eyes the lion next to them and shakes her head. "I can't believe you're making me agree with Hera, but she's right. You really are the daughter of Olympus."

By the time the hunters leave, the moon is up in the sky. Ara looks around as she rubs her bad shoulder, and before she can ask, Piper does it for her. 

"Jason, what happened to you here? I mean—I know your mom abandoned you here. But you said it was sacred ground for demigods. Why? What happened after you were on your own?"

"It's still murky. The wolves..."

"You were given a destiny," Hera reminds him. "You were given into my service."

"Because you forced my mom to do that," he frowns. "You couldn't stand knowing Zeus had two children with my mom. Knowing that he'd fallen for her twice. I was the price you demanded for leaving the rest of my family alone."

"It was the right choice for you as well, Jason. The second time your mother managed to snare Zeus's affections, it was because she imagined him in a different aspect—the aspect of Jupiter. Never before had this happened—two children, Greek and Roman, born into the same family. You had to be separated from Thalia. This is where all demigods of your kind start their journey."

"Of his kind?"

"She means Roman," Jason explains. "Demigods are left here. We meet the she-wolf goddess, Lupa, the same immortal wolf that raised Romulus and Remus."

"And if you are strong enough, you live," Hera concludes.

"But... What happened after that? I mean, Jason never made it to camp," Leo raises a brow.

"Not to Camp Half-Blood, no."

"You went somewhere else," Piper understands what they're implying. "That's where you've been all these years. Somewhere else for demigods—but where?"

"The memories are coming back, but not the location," Jason looks back to the goddess. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No. That is part of your destiny, Jason. You must find your own way back. But when you do... you will unite two great powers. You will give us hope against the giants, and more importantly—against Gaea herself."

"You want us to help you, but you're holding back information."

"Giving you answers would make those answers invalid," Hera shrugs. "That is the way of the Fates. You must forge your own path for it to mean anything, Ara knows how true that is. Already, you four have surprised me. I would not have thought it possible..."

Ara stops rubbing her shoulder. If Roman demigods have to start their journey here, and Percy switched places with Jason...

"Enough of that, Jackson!" Hera exclaims, startling Ara. "Suffice to say, you have performed well, but this is only the beginning. Now you must return to Camp Half-Blood, where you will begin planning for the next phase."

Ara isn't interested in arguing with the goddess, so she points to the lion. "Can I keep him?"

Hera scrunches up her nose. "I suppose... your mother sent it because you cared for him like no one else—you know, Hercules would've—"

"But I'm not Heracles," Ara replies politely. "Thank you for letting me keep it, but he can't take all of us to camp in one night, so..."

"I suppose you destroyed my nice storm spirit horse too, so we'll have to walk home?" Jason adds.

"Storm spirits are creatures of chaos. I did not destroy that one, though I have no idea where he went, or whether you'll see him again. But there is an easier way home for you," Hera replies. "As you have done me a great service, so I can help you—at least this once. Farewell, demigods, for now."

Ara's body flickers oddly, she hears the lion growl, and then the screaming. Ara jumps off the table where she's standing and runs, shielding the creature with her body.

"WEAPONS DOWN!" She orders. "HE'S FRIENDLY!"

"Ara!?" Lily Saggio stands, eyes wide open.

Leo is the next one to jump off the table and run to a bronze brazier to puke. Ara grimaces, the gods won't like that smell floating around their throne room.

"Jason, Ara..." Chiron says in utter shock. "What—How—?"

"Hi," Piper speaks, and it's then that Ara realizes they materialized on top of Aphrodite's table. Her sister has one foot firmly planted on Drew's dinner. "We're back." 

The crowd starts spitting out questions but none of them approaches Ara, she's still next to the Nemean lion, and she guesses he needs a friendlier name now. 

"Silence!" Chiron exclaims. "Jason, Piper, get off the table—nymphs, give Leo a fresh glass of water—and Ara, that Nemean lion..." the centaur raises a brow. "Belongs to you?"

"Yeah," Ara pats his muzzle. "Hera said I could keep him."

Chiron settles everything so now the four can narrate their quest to the campers. They're terrified, so she's half expecting them to start chanting "Curse! Dishonor on your cows!" at any given moment.

"So you rescued Hera, sent Enceladus back to Tartarus, tamed the Nemean lion—and got clues about Percy's disappearance?" Lily recounts.

"Basically, yeah," Ara replies. "But—" Lily interrupts her with a hug.

"Let's hear it for our General!" Travis clamors.

The crowd erupts into cheers, and Ara blushes furiously at their reaction. It was all Piper, Leo, and Jason, she was there mostly for moral support! No one seems to care, though. She gets carried all the way to the Big House. 

Ara's lost her new friends in the sea of people. The campers leave her on the porch, and Lily ushers everyone away.

"Let her rest..." Lily notices Ara's injured arm when she takes off her cloak. "Oh gods, what happened!?"

Ara sighs. "Lighting hit me, but I'm—"

"WHAT!"

"I'm fine!" Ara raises her voice but Lily's gone back into the crowd shouting Will's name. Ara lets out a weary chuckle. "Never listens..."

"That was quite a welcome."

Ara gives a start. Leo Valdez found his way back to her. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you—I mean, you, Jason, and Piper, but the campers took you away, and the others went to sleep as soon as the campers stopped paying attention—"

"I didn't want to steal the spotlight—gods, that sounds terrible. I'm so sorry," she rambles.

"Do you hear me complaining?" Leo smirks. "You deserve to be carried around like the legend you are, but we got work to do, so that's why I'm here."

Ara's skin glows when the boy moves a couple of steps forward. Now that they're safe, and she's got her answers, it's much harder to ignore how attracted to Leo she is. She thinks that if she's ever gonna get the chance to "shake off" the feelings before it's too late, that moment is now... and she's about to waste it.

"You think you can meet me in the forest? Tomorrow, after you're done with your General duties."

Ara's tongue isn't responding nearly as fast as she would like, having a crush was way more problematic than she'd anticipated. "'kay."

The boy smiles a little. "I think you'll love what I have to show you, might be the answer to our problems."

"What problems?"

Leo winks at her. "Sleep tight!"

Ara doesn't want the conversation to end, but Lily returns with a heavily concerned Will Solace by her side so she's forced to move on.

"Hit by lightning! What are you, a magnet for natural disasters?"

"Think so," she replies with genuine worry.

Next Chapter ->

Taglist.

siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @ash-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris

[mi-rae07]

can i hve a San drabble,like angst cz i am in da mood rn :>

btw i am addicted to ur blog i started a few weeks ago

Choi San : Once Upon A Time

Pairing : Choi San (Ateez) and named character (Park Sunhee)

____________

A/n : well TO BE FAIR, I did start this off as a drabble, but you can't really blame me it turned into an entire story, can you? It just happens to me.

But thank you!

_____________

Sunhee : and the matters of that village we last talked about, minister?

Minister : it's all under control, your majesty. The people seem to be cooperating well enough.

Sunhee : that is not what I asked, minister. Their health, have the doctors found a cure to their disease yet?

Minister : unfortunately, no. but they have found out that this disease is communicable. Hence why the village is under a lockdown currently.

Sunhee : and how long is this cure going to take? Until my people die of it?

Minister : this is new for all of us, your majesty. All we can do for now, is prevent it from spreading to more people. And you too, please stay safe and try not to step outside of the palace much during these times.

Sunhee let out a breath, standing up from her seat in the meeting room as the other ministers rose as well.

Sunhee : a queen without her people, is no queen at all. I hope you remember that as you work forward, ministers.

Sunhee turned around and walked out of the room, the ministers' heads bowed down as they muttered a chorus of "your majesty's". Sunhee opened the door to her private chambers, rushing to her bathroom as the sight of a knight came to her view. The person that was her retreat from this cruel world, the person that had kept her sane while being queen for the past 5 years.

Sunhee ran towards him, crashing into his arms as san wrapped his arms around her waist with a chuckle. Sunhee wrapped her arms tighter around san's neck, bringing him as close to her as possible.

San : had a bad day?

Sunhee : please don't leave, san-ah.

San smiled, nuzzling his head onto sunhee's shoulder. This was their time of the day, the few hours that the both of them had always cherished. San wouldn't dare leave even if he was forcefully dragged out of her room.

San : I didn't take all this trouble and lied to all your guards to just leave, sweetheart.

Sunhee sighed, resting her head against san's shoulders. She knew how wrong this was, she always did. A queen, with a knight? It would be frowned upon by the entire nation, and it could cause the execution of san. Since he was from the lower rank, only he would be blamed for all this. Which was why they had been meeting in secret like this for the past 5 years, it was the only way the both of them could be together without causing their own deaths.

San slowly brought his hand to the string that tied sunhee's dress together, pulling on it as it came loose. Sunhee hummed as san pulled the first layer of her clothing down, kissing her neck with closed eyes. Sunhee tangled her fingers in his hair, her head feeling light.

Sunhee : san.

San : shh, let me.

San stripped sunhee off of her clothes one by one, all while walking her towards the bathtub. And soon enough sunhee was sitting in the bathtub, san kneeling down next to her right outside the tub. Sunhee ran her hand along san's hair, dampening it as san scrubbed her clean with a soap.

Sunhee : you're so beautiful, choi san.

San smiled, it wasn't the first time he was hearing this but it never got old. Especially when it came from someone twice as pretty as he was.

San : honored, your grace.

Sunhee : san-ah.

San : mm?

Sunhee : I hate that we have to keep hiding like this.

Wasn't the first time either. San sighed, keeping the soap away as he let the water from the bathtub clean her body.

San : sunhee-ya, you know we have no other choice.

Sunhee : but you're a knight, it can't be that bad, right?

San : I am only a knight, love. While you're a queen, queen of the most powerful nation this land has ever seen. And before that, you were a princess. Sunhee, you were born into royalty, born into a life that I couldn't even dream of. As much as I want to be with you openly, you know we both can't.

Sunhee pressed her lips together, her hands clenching against san's as she whispered

Sunhee : come closer to me then.

San smiled and moved closer to his queen, her pulling him closer towards her before crashing her lips against his. San breathed heavily and lifted sunhee off the bathtub, the water from her body drenching his clothes as he walked with her towards the bed. But he could care less, about anything in this world except park sunhee.

Sunhee : I love you.

San : I love you more, my queen.

____________________________

San stepped out of the queen's chambers a few hours later, buttoning his shirt properly as the guards right outside the room bowed at him. He was popular enough among the public and his own soldiers. San nodded with a smile and was about to walk away when a voice disrupted him

??? : what were you doing with my sister, knight?

San turned around to face the queen's brother, Park Seo-jin. San bowed as he muttered under his breath

San : lord prince.

He hated the prince.

Seojin : I asked you a question, knight.

San : the queen and I had some matters to talk about, your highness.

Seojin : matters at this time of the night?

San : yes.

Seojin : do you think the both of you are being that sneaky, knight? You think everyone else is stupid?

San bit his lip. He knew seojin wanted the throne for himself, he had been enraged when his father had passed down the crown to a woman, instead of him. It had crumbled his ego to watch the coronation of his own sister. Ever since then he had tried countless ways to bring sunhee down, all of it failing miserably.

San : and? Do you have proof to show to the ministry that her majesty and I have indulged in improper acts as you accuse us of?

Seojin stared at san with wide enraged eyes, his hand clenching on his sword. But the both of them knew seojin could do nothing. Sunhee was far too loved and respected by the entire nation, and san was the commander of the royal army and navy. They were both too important to be killed like that.

San : do not question the dignity of my queen, lord prince. For if I hear another word of that sort coming out of your mouth, I shall have your tongue cut off, prince or not.

San turned around and walked away from a stunned seojin, a victorious smirk on his lips.

___________________________

A month later :

Sunhee : what? San, no!

San : sunhee-ya, shh. Listen to me first-

Sunhee : so that you can get yourself killed? San, do not be stupid.

Sunhee was about to walk away when san held her arm, bringing her close to him as he said softly

San : I'm only going for a small battle, sunhee. I will be fine, alright?

Sunhee let out an exasperated breath, looking away with fear in her eyes. She hated when san had to go for battles that were outside of her territory. Because it meant that if something were to happen to san, there would be nothing she could do for him since he was under the territory of another ruler.

Sunhee : you are sacrificing your safety for this, san. Why can't you just send someone else-

San : sunhee, I am a knight. My duty is to protect this nation.

Sunhee : protect, not die for it.

San held sunhee's cheek, shaking his head as he whispered

San : I will come back to you, my love, I promise.

Sunhee wrapped her arms around san, hugging him like her life depended on it. She knew she couldn't stop him, this had to be done.

Sunhee : please don't die. I have no one in the world apart from you.

San smiled, kissing her cheek before whispering

San : I will try not to, my queen.

________________________________

2 days later :

Sunhee was now pacing around the throne room, knowing that today was the day san was supposed to come back from battle. She had no news from him whatsoever, or from anyone else that had gone with him to battle. Which had been expected, but sunhee still worried. For her men, and for san.

Sunhee looked up as the throne room door burst open, revealing a guard who bowed down while breathing heavily.

Sunhee : yes? Have they returned?

Guard : they have, your majesty. But the knight, lord san has been injured very badly-

Sunhee cut the guard off as she ran past him abruptly, the guard shocked at how fast she was with all that she was wearing. Sunhee gasped as she saw a few soldiers holding san up by his shoulders while walking towards the infirmary, san's head lowered. There were hundreds of other citizens standing right outside, meaning to welcome their soldiers after a victorious battle. But sunhee did not bother caring about them, as her eyes were trained only on san who seemed to be in too much pain.

Sunhee let out a breath and ran down the steps, the people's eyes widening at the sight of their queen. Sunhee rushed towards san, quickly holding onto san as the other soldiers stepped back with their heads bowed.

Sunhee could hear gasps and mutters of shock around her as she touched san's pale cheek with her gloved hand.

Sunhee : san-ah. San, look at me!

Sunhee lowered the both of them to the ground, san's upper body rested on sunhee's lap as she held his cheek that was smeared with dried blood. She could care less about the dirt and blood getting on her clothes, and she could care less about anyone and anything except san.

Sunhee : no no no, you promised you would come back to me!

San's eyes slowly fluttered open, his eyes hazy as he coughed hoarsely. Sunhee stared at him with anxious eyes, placing one of her hand against his chest as she felt his heart beat hard against her palm. He was alive, thank god.

San : sun-sunhee?

Sunhee sobbed in relief as she hugged san, the soldiers and the people around looking away in part shock and part respect. They were shocked, to say the least, but that didn't lessen their respect for their queen.

Sunhee didn't seem to care, but san did, despite the immense pain he was in. and although this was what he had always wanted, for sunhee to hold him like this right after battle, for her warmth to give him comfort, he couldn't let this happen in front of all these people.

San : oh no. no sunhee, the…the people. You can't…you're not supposed to-

Sunhee : I don't care. I don't care san, let them be.

Sunhee pulled back, eyeing san's wounded body. A thousand different cuts littered all around his body, a few stab wound in his left arm and slash marks visible at every inch of his body.

Sunhee : you're hurt. San you…I told you not to go-

San : sunhee you have to le-let go before your mother-

??? : PARK SUNHEE!

Sunhee shut her eyes tightly as she heard her mother walk up to them hastily.

Sona : what the hell is this? What…is that choi san?

Sunhee : mother, please. He needs help. I-

Sona : are you in love with this man?

The spite in her mother's voice caused shivers to run down sunhee's spine as she held san's weak body closer to her own body protectively.

Sunhee : and if I am?

Sona : YOU LITTLE-

Sunhee turned to a soldier before saying, ignoring her mother completely

Sunhee : call the doctors to my chambers.

Sona : YOUR CHAMBERS! SUNHEE ARE YOU MAD-

Sunhee : THIS IS MY NATION, MOTHER! THIS IS MY NATION AND I AM QUEEN! Hence you will listen, and step aside before I ask someone to physically hold you back from me.

Sunhee turned to the solider once again with fierce eyes as she said more sternly this time

Sunhee : call, the doctor, soldier.

The solider bowed and ran towards the insides of the palace with a small smile on his face. Sona stared in pure shock as sunhee ran her thumb along san's cheek, his big eyes staring back at her with a thousand emotions. Sunhee gave him a small comforting smile

Sunhee : you're going to be fine, my love.

The people outside the palace gates watched the entire thing in awe, some of them having smiles on their faces. Except what any of them didn't know was that the crown prince was watching the entire thing with a wicked smirk on his face, snapping his finger as his secretary rushed up to him.

??? : yes, my lord?

Seojin : round the ministers up for a meeting. It's time for a change of monarchs.

___________________________

Sunhee was now sitting next to san on her bed, slowly brushing past san's hair as he slept peacefully with bandages wrapped around his body. Sona was staring at the both of them with furious eyes, asking under her breath

Sona : when did you start loving him?

Sunhee : the day father announced me queen. I've always been in love with him, mother.

Sona : he is a mere knight, sunhee. He is not even a baron. He has no amount of royal blood in him.

Sunhee : I do not love him for his royalty, mother. I love him for the man he is.

Sona : the people will talk, sunhee.

Sunhee : then let them. I still remain queen.

Sona : if it goes this way, you will not. Sunhee, you know the rules. A queen, marries a king. Or even a prince, that is the lowest we can go. Any other person of any other title than those, are not fit to marry someone like you. You know what happens if it does.

Execution, that was all.

Sunhee : I will not let anyone hurt him.

Sona : don't you understand, daughter? You won’t have a choice! Your brother-

Sona cut herself off as a knock was heard on the door before it opened.

Guard : your majesty, your highness, the crown prince requests the both of you to come to the throne room. He has summoned for an official meeting with the ministers.

___________________________

Minister : the word has spread around the nation like a wild fire, your highnesses. There is no way we can take anything back now.

Sunhee : and? Why are we so concerned over a few words?

Minister : because our nation depends upon it, your majesty. You are only allowed to marry someone of your own status, by royal decree. Lord san is all but a knight. If you marry him, it leads only to execution.

This had been going on for an hour now. Again and again, the same literal thing. You cannot marry him without killing him.

Except she could, and sunhee had decided something the moment san had came back from battle, wounded.

Sunhee : you think I will stand still while I have a bunch of men executing the man that I love, minister?

Seojin : this, is what I have been trying to say all this while, ministers of court. A woman, is unable to rule a nation, she always will be. A woman is only capable of falling in love, and taking care of her husband. A queen is useless to our nation.

Sunhee turned to glare at her brother who was sitting on his seat next to where she was sitting on her own throne.

Sunhee : shall I tell them of what a man has done to our nation's treasury, brother? The amount of money you have lost through gambling?

The ministers gasped at that. Seojin's eyes turned angry as he turned towards his sister

Seojin : you-

Sunhee : I may be unable to rule this nation properly, but you are no more capable of ruling it than I am. You are unable to rule even over your own self, dear brother. How would anyone expect you, a man, to rule over this entire nation, then?

Seojin : how dare you.

Sunhee : I may lose this throne, but I certainly will not let you sit on it either.

Seojin let out a triggered noise before standing up from his seat, taking out his sword from it's sheath as he was about to point it at sunhee who sat unbothered on her throne. The guards around her was about to point their own swords at seojin when another sword was heard unsheathing, it's golden blade blocking seojin's path as the minsters gasped.

Sunhee : san!

San glared at seojin with fierce eyes, bringing the edge of his sword closer to seojin as seojin stepped back in part fear. He looked every inch of the knight he was, and sunhee had no idea how san had managed to dress himself up in the state he was last in.

San : point your sword at my queen once more, and I will have your ribs shattered into bits.

Seojin : you would not dare.

Except san did not take his eyes off seojin's, almost burning a hole right through his skull with the stare. Seojin let out a huff and sheathed his sword back, stepping aside as san finally lowered his sword as well.

Sunhee : you're not supposed to be here. Go back to my room, san.

San : this is our mess, I will not let you deal this by yourself.

Before sunhee could protest further san stood to the side of the throne sunhee was sitting on, the gleaming point of his sword touching the ground as san said

San : I am in love with the queen.

Sunhee shut her eyes tightly, the ministers staring at san with wide eyes. No one had expected san to actually say that out loud.

San : and if that goes against your rules, goes against the entire nation, then so be it. If that makes me a criminal, then so be it. If that would lead me to my death, then, so be it.

Seojin scoffed, looking away in dismay. Sunhee could only stare at san helplessly.

San : but I will not let anyone say anything against the queen because of this. She sits in this throne because she deserves to, and she's done an amazing job at proving her worth to the people, and this court. And as for the people who do not believe in her rule, you are all free to step out of this nation and never return.

Sunhee looked up at san, her eyes wide. What the hell was he going to do? San raised his head, his eyes not betraying a single emotion as he said

San : kill me if that pleases you, do whatever you want with me-

Sunhee : no. no, san stop.

San : sunhee-

Sunhee : no!

This was it, this was the moment. Sunhee stood up from the throne, looking at the ministers with stern eyes.

Sunhee : the rule book, says that the queen or the king, must marry someone of their own status. If they refuse to do that, the one of the lower rank, gets executed. But that isn't the only way out.

Sona : no. no sunhee-

Sunhee : if I give up the crown, no one dies. If I give up my crown, I get to be with the man that I am now not allowed to be with.

San stared at sunhee with wide eyes as her hands went up to the crown on her head. And before anyone could say anything, sunhee took the crown off her head, placing it on the throne before saying, her words firm

Sunhee : I abdicate the throne.

The ministers started protesting, none of them wanting the queen to leave. But sunhee ignored them all, turning to face san as she said

Sunhee : for freedom, as we both always wanted.

San smiled, letting go of his royal sword as it clattered to the ground. He nodded as he held his arm out for sunhee to hold, the both of them descending the steps together. And just like that the both of them stepped out of the royal palace, the sight of a huge crowd of people standing below the steps coming into their view. And just by the sight of san and sunhee together, all of them seemed to know what had happened. Sunhee stared at them, waiting for anything they had to say.

Except soon enough the people parted into two sides, making a clear pathway for both sunhee and san to pass through. A smile was on all their faces, some of them nodding their heads. San smiled as he looked at sunhee who also seemed to have a proud smile on her face. They both walked down the steps of the palace together, each step reminding them of each of their moments, and all that they had left behind for love.

The people bowed down as san and sunhee walked past them arm-in-arm, sunhee saying words of thank you with a smile. Sona and seojin looked at all of that from the balcony of the palace, sona muttering to her son with a smile

Sona : wherever she goes, she will always remain queen, son.

The people cheered as sunhee and san walked towards their new life, a life filled with happiness and peace. And most importantly, togetherness.

And the world would remember them as the queen who left her crown for her knight, and the knight who was willing to sacrifice his entire life for his queen.

______________________

[biblioflyer]

The Trouble with Tardigrade Trolleys (Discovery rewatch)

And apologia and a rant. It's a BOGO post!

Discovery’s use and abuse of the tardigrade is a feature not a bug. Let’s try to set aside questions of whether or not this is immersion breaking for the Star Trek setting for a moment, and look at it as a thought experiment.

This is one of the better “trolley problem” style moral dilemmas that I’ve seen in Star Trek. Usually Star Trek writers are a bit self righteous or maybe squeamish. They can’t help themselves, a lot of them approach Trek as a series of moral teachings wrapped in the aesthetics of science fiction. 

A lot of the time these moral teachings are only moderately more subtle than a special episode of a children’s TV show: “Oh no, the Mauve Ranger is bullying people to fit in!”

Simple and easy stories where the correct answer is written in eleventeen foot tall neon letters and there’s very little or no ambiguity or attempt to steelman the other choice.

In edgy adult dramas, sometimes you get the guy from “24” torturing someone to reveal the location of a dirty bomb. That “someone” is a terrorist or a terrorist sympathizer or from a culture we’re socially programmed to feel less empathy for. At least I assume that’s what happened. I never actually watched “24” because even though I’m writing about Discovery’s use and abuse of the tardigrade as a trolley problem and pretending this can be dissected as a sterile intellectual discussion, I detest nihilistic storytelling that dehumanizes outgroups and constructs a permission structure to do evil because maybe the worst case scenario could actually happen. 

The point being that apologia for human rights violations usually depicts the victim as unsympathetic. Even Star Trek Picard manages to sneak in a trolley problem wherein, from a consequentialist standpoint, Seven is almost entirely in the right to execute a gangster who had dealt in ex-Borg implants extracted via torture and murder. (Spoiler: I was not happy about this scenario.)

Discovery’s tardigrade problem is remarkably willing to confront moral ambiguity and thus, to my mind, is a much better and thus more interesting trolley problem because the deck hasn’t been stacked to allow an easy and obvious exception to most well adjusted people’s moral hangups around torture and murder.

It's not trying to hide the ball here. It’s very easy to cry animal abuse or torture. It's easy because that is exactly what is happening.

Yet on the other tracks are hundreds of innocent lives.

What makes this a well constructed trolley problem is that “Ripper” the tardigrade has blood on its claws. It's also, by most standards, terrifying and hideous. It may as well be a xenomorph from Alien in how sympathetic it is. Except….. We are shown that it has a gentle side. It's surprisingly willing to trust unarmed humans considering how many humanoids have tried to kill or imprison it up to this point.

And let's face it, the show gave us every conceivable signal possible to tee us up to not feel sorry for Landry. So much so that I was completely convinced that she was from the Mirror Universe, like Lorca, until she died trying to hack off one of Ripper’s limbs. Memory Alpha informs me that Star Trek Online gave her a tragic backstory, I don’t consider STO canon and I don’t even consider it “canon until disproved by onscreen events” but I will give them credit for trying to clean up the continuity such that it doesn’t seem as much like Landry is supposed to be representative of Starfleet security for this era.

The first time the spikes that link it to the Spore drive are inserted into it, you don’t need a close up of Burnham’s face to recognize Ripper’s agony. By that point most people capable of empathy for a nonhuman, non-fuzzy creature are already starting to see it more like a manatee or a weird bear than a monster. Bringing Star Trek back into the room, in my mind this is VERY good Star Trek.

What makes it good Star Trek is that we’re being asked to empathize with a monstrous creature, to reexamine its motives and behavior in a fresh light with new context, and to appreciate its pain. If we set aside our desire to view Star Trek as a documentary of an enlightened society that has figured out how to instill perfect morality into its citizens, then I think we also see another thing that Trek is good at: showing people doing the work of realizing they’ve made a terrible decision that flies in the face of their values and trying to fix it.

It’s critical to recall that the Tardigrade isn’t suffering because our heroes are bad people. Okay Landry and Lorca are bad people (weird that the two human monsters have L names.) It’s suffering because 1. Nobody has quite realized its sentient yet. 2. Their conception of what if anything causes it physical discomfort is not very well developed (at least the first time it’s used) and 3. Hundreds of people will die if Discovery doesn’t use the Tardigrade to initiate a spore jump to the dilithium mine currently under attack by Klingons.

The original scenario in s1e4 “The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not for the Lamb’s Cry” (which is such a metal title) is very much a ticking clock that takes place in conditions of ambiguous knowledge with not a certain amount of pressure to look away from the moral hazard staring the characters in the face. It bears repeating, several hundred miners and their families are at risk, as well as a key resource keeping Starfleet able to hold the line against the Klingons.

The additional usages of the Spore Drive are harder to justify. Not impossible, but more difficult. By s1e5 “Choose Your Pain” it’s abundantly clear that Ripper is being harmed by the jumps, jumping too frequently is causing Ripper harm faster than it can recover, and some of the crew are definitely getting squeamish. Lorca rattles off a list of achievements as a result of the Spore Drive representing lives saved, the Klingon capacity to make war reduced etc. 

So the bleakness of it all is that there is inarguably blood on the crew’s hands for inflicting pain on a creature that the crew no longer is blinded to but one could also argue there would be blood on their hands if they had the capacity to intervene and failed to. (To what degree if any you have culpability for failing to prevent something profoundly awful from happening if you must violate an important moral precept to do it is what makes the trolley problem so interesting and debates around, say, Batman killing the Joker incredibly interesting, but often VERY heated.)

It's also uncomfortable but not hard to understand why, with its back to the wall, Starfleet is interested in capturing more Tardigrades and using them for propulsion, despite the mounting evidence that this is profoundly cruel.

At this point, I will once again throw open the doors to the clean room and “contaminate” it with spores of classic Trek morality.

As the secular humanist, cruelty averse do gooders; I find it shocking, offensive even as a fan, that when presented with a trolley problem that I personally think would be an example of an easy slam dunk, Starfleet balks at the much easier, much more moral path.

That trolley problem being permit the use of genetic engineering to adapt humans to act as Spore Drive navigators in place of the Tardigrades….

OR

Keep inflicting suffering upon a being that can feel pain.

And Starfleet shouts down the genetic engineering solution, because the legacy of the Eugenics War and the prohibition on genetic alterations is somehow more important than winning a war in which everything about the society in which Federation citizens currently live in will undoubtedly get A LOT worse, and the body count tremendous. Also remember at this point we don’t know that for whatever reason Stamets is the only viable candidate. 

As much as I’m enjoying rewatching this show much more than I ever expected, this is infuriating!

Who thought it was at all logically defensible for Starfleet to turn down the ability to mass produce Spore Drive navigators instead of trying to capture a lifeform that is VERY dangerous when provoked? 

Who thought it was consistent with the characterization of Starfleet to decide Eugenics was worse than torture?

To make matters worse, this isn’t an example of a Badmiral gaslighting HQ like Dougherty in Insurrection, this is Starfleet’s equivalent of the joint chiefs! What the hell?!

Clearly someone just pulled the prohibition on genetic engineering out because it was an already established piece of Star Trek canon as a way to rationalize why the obvious solution of just letting a volunteer pilot the darn ship couldn’t have been done immediately after the Tardigrade curls up and goes on strike. And critically this rationalization was conjured without any real consideration as to how silly, if not downright evil it makes Starfleet Command look.

[colorfuldreamsmkg]

Teach me how to Understand You | Cecilie Erdon | 1.2 | Re: Swan, Lau Fei, Ozzy

The stage directions spoke out, sob, scream, accuse. Cecilie watched on, her eyes growing dimmer and dimmer with each passing second. Swan Song lead the charge, Hitome pressed a case, Lau Fei broke down.

Sonny offered insight, Ozzy followed along, people looked angry.

People looked broken.

She hadn’t seen such upset before, not upon others faces but her own, at the very least. Cecilie closed her eyes.

“Permission to leave my stand.” 

Her eyes open, waiting for even the smallest nod from Miku Prime to make her way across this unfamiliar stage. She moves over to Lau Fei, undoing her shawl from around herself to instead drape it over their shoulders with a gentle smile. There’s a quiet whisper, just for them and those who were close to him.

“It is not the same as a hug but it is the best I can offer. My body heat should still be upon it, hide if you must. That must’ve been difficult to see.” 

With that, she returns to her stand. No longer having the item she used to fidget, she moved to tap her fingers together instead in something akin to a rhythm.

“I do not keep track of time all too well. But I can talk through the events in which I went through if that is to help.” 

She looks to Swan; her alibi. She is handing it over (to the best of her ability).

“As is corroborated by the others, I started this evening within the bunker. I had no aim to being there, simply pacing in silence as I saw others pass me by like stars in the night. Sonny at her bed, Erika at the lockers, and Inazuma with a sandwich. Eri -...if that is okay to call you of course nicknames are given out of fondness I hope uhh-..Erika took the matches.” She looks down, her cheeks puffed out in embarrassment at this being her first attempt at a nickname for Erika. Now is not the time. 

“I hope you expelled that which you were trying to.” A nod to them, anyhow.

“Takuma came in shortly afterward, upon his bunk bed. He seemed not all there, I was assuming he may have had a nightmare of some sort. So I approached. Um..I must move quietly because it scared him.” She shoots an apologetic glance his way. “So to offer apologies and help I offered my company, to which he accepted.” 

“We were together the rest of the evening, before the messages came through. So I may clear his name…but to go through what I saw..”

“We went for the cookies I had prepared. For comfort, of course. I’ll upkeep those if I get out of here, too. Anyhow, Erika was cleaning at the time. I shall help clean that mess once-...if I get out of here. I also saw Hitome and Dahlia, Dahlia was helping the Sunset cook.” She sighs, “I did not think much of it at the time, instead opting to talk to Takuma in an attempt to bridge empathy. I spoke of my own worries and fears in the moment. But…ah about that.” 

“..It was about not be able to understand a lot of things. I was unsure how to act in social situations, let alone that which causes you all this much strife. To make matters…um…worse is not the correct word but. I never once experience the fears incentive. I believe it was due to Constellation Carnival’s win but…I didn’t face that which troubled you all. I am sorry. I do not know what to do to sympathise, let alone how to give information that may help this case in regards to it.” 

A pause.

“Anyhow we left for the cafeteria at some point. Spending the rest of the evening trying to cheer up by sharing pictures of pets…that is all.” 

What else? Oh yes. Right.

“That trial that you faced. If it operates in the same way a SEKAI does, you should appear where you last entered it, yes? So…Dahlia appeared back in the Orchestra room. And following Oz’s ‘cooking’, the..” Breathe, “Who hurt her appeared in the store. That seems like a reasonable timeline.”

[srhhrtmn21222]

Step 1 - Spiritual Principles

If I've been thinking about using or acting out on my addiction in some other way, have I shared it with my sponsor or told anyone else?

I have mentioned to my sponsor and the instructor for the class I'm in for probation when I've been stuck in having a lot of cravings. Luckily, they've eased off.

2. Have I stayed in touch with the reality of my disease, no matter how long I've had freedom from active addiction?

Yes. I know in my heart that if I allow myself to have a single hit, I'll go straight back to using just as much as I was before I started recovery.

3. Have I noticed that, now that I don't have to cover up my addiction, I no longer need to lie like I did? Do I appreciate the freedom that goes along with that? In what ways have I begun to be honest in my recovery?

It's very freeing to not have to hide my addiction anymore. It's so much easier to be able to go to someone helping you in your recovery and be able to say "Hey, I'm really struggling right now. I need your support." It took me months to finally be able to call someone and tell them that. But now that I can, it helps so much.

4. What have I heard in recovery that I have trouble believing?

That we have to abstain from all substances; including alcohol and marijuana. I struggled with alcohol as a teenager, but was able to overcome it with will power. Now, I only drink very rarely. Marijuana, I view as medicinal. I believe it can be very beneficial for someone such as myself, that struggles with anxiety, eating enough, and sleep problems. Although I do understand that as an addict, we have a higher risk of abusing things that we enjoy.

5. In what ways am I practicing open-mindedness?

I am willing to give suggestions a try, even if I don't agree with them. I understand that others (with longer recovery time) in NA have a better understanding of how the program works and that they would not steer me in the wrong direction.

6. Am I willing to follow my sponsor's direction?

1,000%. I know she would only give me helpful information and advice. I know she has my best interest at heart.

7. Am I willing to go to meetings regularly?

Yes. I keep a weekly alarm on my phone to remind me when to sign into In The Rooms (intherooms.com) to attend my favorite meeting.

8. Am I willing to give recovery my best effort? In what ways?

I am. And so far, I have given it my best effort. I regularly talk to my sponsor, and we go over my Step answers as I finish sections. I also regularly attend my meetings because I know my sponsor isn't the only person who can help me in recovery.

9. Do I believe that I'm a monster who has poisoned the whole world with my addiction? Do I believe that my addiction is utterly inconsequential to the larger society around me? Or something in between?

I believe I'm somewhere in between. I believe that my addiction did affect some people, but more so the people close to me, rather than the rest of society.

10. Do I have a sense of my relative importance within my circle of family and friends? In society as a whole? What is that sense?

Within my friends and family, yes. I believe I do have some relative importance. Not as much in society as a whole though. I feel like I don't offer society as much as other people may.

11. How am I practicing the principle of humility in connection with this work on the First Step?

By realizing that I don't have the answers to everything in recovery. That I have to rely on others to help guide me in the right direction.

12. Have I made peace with the fact that I'm an addict?

Yes. I knew a long time ago that I was an addict, and have since made peace with it.

13. Have I made peace with the things I'll need to do to stay clean?

Yes. I know it involves Step Work, attending meetings regularly, and asking for help with I need it.

14. How is acceptance of my disease necessary for my continued recovery?

If you do not accept that you are an addict, you cannot fully work the Steps and begin to heal.

[the-little-red-noodle]

1-12-23 12:06am

You know it’s bad when she’s getting on tumblr

It’s probably been 10 years, nearly exactly. Where did my coping skills go? Where did my hope go? This can’t be just a boy. This is existential. This is everything wrong. This is the 2 people i loved the last 3 years being passive about my affection. Take it or leave it.

I feel empty. I’m all squeezed out. All the good parts of me were handed out in high school. All the passion, all the butterflies, all the fairytale love went down the drain with Harrison, and i don’t think I’ve been in love with anyone since. I’ve drifted to whichever nest would house me for a couple months, and now it’s catching up to my body. All the use, all the pain, all the abuse. The touches i didn’t want, the trauma of loss, and i don’t even know real loss. Abandonment. I’m a shell. You guys won, I’m empty now. I’ve been pushed between people, and didn’t love myself enough to think about it too much. That should have told everyone that something was wrong.

I haven’t hurt myself since i was 15 or 16. I haven’t had to cover up cuts and dread a hot room and dart my eyes around to see if anyone noticed. I haven’t had to strategize how to avoid revealed skin for long enough that theyd look like cat scratches.

Day 0, again. This is the 2nd time in the last few weeks now. I has this horrible realization that when you’ve had an addiction like this, it’ll find you when you’re at your lowest. Even when you’re 10 years sober. Even when you’re the one moms ask for advice about their girls hurting themselves, and you stare blankly because you legitimately forgot what it felt like. To need that, to do it, to feel the after, to hide it..

it’s hot. Warm to the touch, it feels 10 degrees higher than the rest of me. Rush of immune cells and macrophages. Lysosomes dropping off tangled proteins to ward off the invader bacteria that comes from an open wound.

I’m sorry body. I’m sorry for making you feel like you needed to expend the biomatter to clean up after me. I’m sorry for making you confused. I thought we were passed it, too.

Here you are again, Sam. 10 years later, you’ve wound up in the same mental space. You’ve lost your overachiever mentality for school. You’ve lost becca, a best friend of a decade, and you havent even begun to grieve it because youre so resentful and think youre right. You’re far from your family. Youre in a dark apartment in a city you dont care for. You’re starting to get a bad drug habit, with molly this time, so you can numb the bad and feel good. This ones way better than the weed youre using. Youre still scared to talk to girls. You’re settling for whoever will express sexual interest in you because you so badly want to be chosen. You so badly want for someone to want you and find you intoxicating. You think you used to be, i think i used to be. But a luxury product tarnishes when it’s always on sale.

Coming out of a breakup to people putting in fuck buddy applications just actually solidified that this is how people see me. I’m an object. I’m not ugly, but I’m not smart or sexy enough, I’m not actually worth the trouble i cost. I’m just pushed between rooms to the next person who wants to hold my skin for 20 minutes, say they think my hair is cool, and that I’m so interesting when i haven’t said a word.

Edgar basically telling me that he’s not sure he was ever in love with me, school pitfalls, family fragments, i cant even take care of myself enough to adopt a dog.. i just feel like this unremarkable waste of a person.

I wish that i could block me out. I deleted my instagram. I want to block everyone and delete every phone number and write out every word o hate i think and eat the paper. I feel like the paper cuts would be enough to finally drown me out.

I used to try. I used to have that fire. I would feel like i was getting back on the horse, gallop a couple yards, and then get bucked off. My attitude was my saving grace for this last decade, but it was also contrived. I was the manic pixie dream girl. I clung to that. I wanted to be just that. I wanted to be sparkly and bubbly and brightly colored but I’m cynical and I’m selfish and I’m mean and i talk about friends behind their backs and i start drama and i flirt with people until I’m done with them or get bored and move on, and i half ass things, and i have an attitude with my manager, and i eat like crap, and I’m not as friendly as i used to be, and I’m not as genuine as i used to be, and I’m not as trusting as i used to be.

Can you blame me?

Once you go through this many friendship explosions, this many breakups, this many mental breakdowns, this many panic attacks, this many nights holding a push pin, you just stop trying. I get it, id be sick of me too. Id call me a succubus too. Id uninvite me to parties. Id avoid me like the plague. The only people in my circle in la now are the ones i haven’t burned too bad yet, but i will. Because I’m selfish and bad and it’s all a lie. I’m not sweet. I’m not thoughtful. I’m not empathetic, i clam up when people spill emotions now. I’ve been tarnished. I’ve been ruined. Somewhere along the way, those things i loved about myself became myths that i tried to keep alive.

Everything hurts and I’ll close my eyes and I’ll be fine in a week, and I’ll laugh it off that i just had a bad night, just a couple of bad nights. 

I need sleep, i need physical contact, i need to feel anchored in this week but i so tragically don’t. Becca pulled my roots out of the ground and left me dry and I’ve been laying on the pavement looking up at the world growing apathetic. I deserve this. I’ll stay here.

Sorry to anyone who’s met me, sounds like a bad time ngl

[molerat]

Idk why but i like talking in the tags way more than in actual posts. I guess because its like more private? Honestly no one in their right mind should follow me in the first place so on the rare occasion i do make posts just to kinda talk into the void i dont feel too guilty. Still like putting most of my thoughts in the tags though.

[storiesundercandlelight]

Silco x Female Reader

A little bit of soft Silco because I can't help myself!

Warnings: NSFW +18, very slight mentions of blood/violence.

You walked through the entrance of The Last Drop, angry, tired, the job you just finished for Silco having been a real pain in the ass. Some younger thugs had been causing trouble trying to prove themselves, or maybe make Silco notice, you had no idea really but either way he wanted them silenced.

Easy job normally but what you hadn't expected was the large brute they had with them this time. Don't get the wrong idea you could handle yourself. Your fighting skills had been drilled into you many years ago but you went alone, mistake.

Your muscles ached as you made your way past the loud crowd taking over the bar floor, you could feel a large bruise forming on your hip from being kicked.

When you reached the top of the stairs you took a moment before walking straight past Silco's door and heading for your room. You shared Silco's room but you knew he wouldn't be in there despite how late it was. The room was much like Silco's office, items that he could afford that were a little too good for Zaun but showed his status off. You made your way to the bathroom as fast as possible, pulling off items of clothing that were no longer necessary until you were just in a cami and your underwear, to check yourself over and clean yourself up before going to Silco.

The flight flicked on and you looked in the mirror, you pulled your cami up, eyes falling to the bruise on your hip, and then turning you looked behind at the equally large one on your shoulder. Sighing you turned on the tap, letting the water heat up so you could clean yourself up. You almost groaned when you place the hot cloth on your shoulder, the heat instantly helping you untense, the drop of water dripping down your shoulders and onto the dirty cami.

"Trying to hide something?" You jumped at the sound of Silco's voice, your eyes snapped up to meet his in the mirror. "You know how I feel about secrets"

"No secrets"

"No? So I can assume you'll have told me about those when you came into my office?" You cursed him for knowing you so well but you were too tired to argue with him.

"I don't want you to worry or think I'm weak. I'm sorry I won't do it again" You looked away from him and back to the sink, but not before you noticed the change in his features.

You were cleaning the dried blood off your hands when his arms came and wrapped around your waist. Silco had been slowly getting more used to being the one to initiate physical interactions outside of the bedroom, you could still feel the tension in his arms but you were thankful his hands were there.

"I will never think you're weak" His voice was quiet despite the fact that his lips were close to your ear. "However, I do want to know when someone does this to you"

"It was my own fault, I went alone" You turned off the tap and turned around in Silco's arms until you face him. "I won't go alone next time"

"Good" You looked over Silco's face, he looked tired, his dark red sleeves folded up, a few rogue hairs fell down over his forehead. You took a moment to just look at him, to feel him, a man who so many feared, who was so dangerous, yet in his arms you felt so safe. You lets your hands move up over his chest tugging playfully at his tie before meeting his eyes again. You could see that he had relaxed, his arms no longer tense, fingers playing with the thin material of your cami.

It was moments like these you cherished, the moments when he let down his guard and a softer side that many don't think exist comes out. You were glad you got to see it, you knew he was the same with Jinx and you just knew it wasn't something he showed to people often. You leant up to place a small kiss on his lips which he reacted to instantly, his hands gripping a little tighter.

"Hmm" He smiled as you pulled away from his lips, his head resting against yours as you stayed close holding onto each other. "Let's get you to bed"

"Only if you're coming with me" he looked at you for a moment before sighing, giving in and allowing you to take him by the hand back into the bedroom.

The room was dark but you knew the way to the bed by heart. You turned around to face Silco and he stood while you started taking off his clothes, pushing off his waistcoat and unbuttoning his shirt slowly. He didn't rush you and you didn't rush yourself. It was quiet in the room, the noise from downstairs felt so distant you rarely noticed it.

Soon enough you finished unbuttoning his shirt, letting it drop to the floor. His eyes met yours and he looked over you, calculating. "I should be the one helping you relax"

"You know just as well as I do that not amount of ass kicking could match your stress" You continued to move onto Silco's trousers, undoing his belt. He moved back away from you, helping now by kicking off his boots and removing his trousers himself before moving back towards you and helping you remove your cami, you loved that he was careful not to touch your now dark bruises as he moved you over to the bed and pushed you down onto the sheets.

Silco climbed on over you and looked you over quickly before leaning down to kiss you, his lips moving quickly against yours, nipping gently at your lips. He moved down to your neck, he knew the spot when your neck and shoulder connected drove you crazy so that's exactly where he focused on. You moaned quietly as he continued kissing and biting, his legs moved to push yours open as he settled between your thighs, his hard length brushing against you.

His eyes met yours once again, asking for permission which you quickly gave, he reached down to line himself up and pushed in slowly, giving you time to adjust. Silco wasn't a vocal person but you loved the small groan he made when he pushed into you fully.

He started moving at a steady pace, keeping his body as close to you as possible as he moved. You let your hands wander, through his hair, along his back, nails digging in softly when he hit that perfect spot. Silco loved watching you, he noticed every moan, every twitch, every time your body tensed. He left his head hang low next to yours, his breathing growing deeper as he moved his hips faster, knowing he was bringing you closer and closer to your release.

He loved when you ran your hands through his hair though he'd never admit it out loud.

"Silco" Your soft moans encouraged him to move faster, his hips pistoning into your hard now. Your moans increasing to match.

You pulled Silco closer to you, pushing into the crook of his neck as you found your release, moans quietened against his skin. You felt Silco tense before following you, groaning as he released himself into you.

Silco moved off of you gently, letting himself fall down onto the bed beside you and breathing deeply. You looked over at him, watching as he let his eyes drift closed, his hand tracing along your leg as he started drifting off to sleep. He knew that he would sleep well tonight, he always did when you ended the day like this.

You moved and snuggled up to Silco, letting your head rest on his shoulder as you let sleep take you as well.

[yourmidnightlover]

letting go

summary - when spencer comes back from prison, there’s no doubt he’s changed, especially in the bedroom. 

warnings - cat-calling, inmates describing gross sex things, soft dom!spence, fem!reader, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (female receiving), hair pulling, fingering, aftercare, bit of subspace, fluff. *let me know if i missed anything*

wc - 3,758

masterlist

-----------------------------

spencer had been gone for almost three months. in prison. he was in prison for three months. in hell for 84 days.

you had visited him as much as you could, remembering the times he would be bruised and beaten each time you would visit him. some days his bruises would be even worse than the previous time.

on your visits, the men in the back would holler and cat-call you. you didn’t mind, as long as you were able to see spencer. but spencer did mind. he minded that those criminals were thinking things about you that only he, as your boyfriend, should be thinking. 

but he couldn’t do anything about it. 

the few times he tried, he only got beat worse. he wanted to defend you, to let you know that he could protect your image, but inside of that prison he couldn’t. he had no power. he had no control. 

you told him it was okay.

“i can handle a few whistles, spence,” you reached your hand across the table to gently stroke his knuckles. “it’s alright,” you tried to ease the obvious tension in his body.

“no. it’s not alright,” he softly argued. “you don’t even want to know what they’re thinking about right now,” he turned his eyes to the table, avoiding your gaze entirely. 

“i don’t need to know. i just need to talk to you,” you whispered softly. “i just need you to know how much i love you.”

“i love you, y/n,” he finally met your eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. 

when he would go back to his cell, or to eat lunch he would overhear people talking about you. talking about the things they would do to you. the things they were thinking about you.

“she’s got a fine ass, too. i would slam it so fucking hard, shit,” a large man groaned, recalling the image of you walking out of the building.

“i’d make dr. fbi watch while i did it, too. i don’t know how he got a bitch that looks like that,” another one replied.

he could only try to tune it out. most of the time it wouldn’t work. he would be doomed to the psychological torture of hearing them mention the crude things about you, unable to do anything about it.

so anytime you came to visit, he would have to mentally prepare himself for the worst. he wanted to see you, he truly did, but them saying those things about you made him want to restrict you from seeing him as a whole. but he loved you too much for that, and as selfish as it was, he needed to see you.

he needed your light heart. he needed your kind spirit. he needed your lifted energy. he just needed you. and if he had to do that while taking a bit of the names and annoyances, he would.

and you knew he hated it. so every time you visited him after the first time you would wear sweatpants and a hoodie or anything that would hide your figure. you wouldn’t wear makeup, you would try to look as unappealing as you could, just to try and make spencer more comfortable. 

but it didn’t necessarily work.

the first time you ever visited him, you wore your normal work outfit. a charcoal gray skirt, a matching gray blazer, white button up blouse, and black heels. that was probably the worst it was for spencer. you heard them hollering from behind the glass, trying to get your attention. you played it off cool in front of spencer, in spite of feeling slightly uncomfortable. 

he knew it made you uneasy, but you kept up your spirit for him.

the last time you had to visit was to tell spencer he was finally coming home. he thought it was just another visit, but he was also in  private meeting room waiting to see you. 

you could wear your normal work outfit to visit him again. 

you walked through the door, a small smile on your face. your eyes began watering from the thought of actually being able to touch him again, to feel his arms around you. to feel his lips against yours.

“you’re coming home now, spencer,” you felt the tear leave your eye, now rolling down your cheek.

his face changed as he came to the realization that he was no longer trapped in that hell hole. his eyes went wide, watering just like yours had as he walked quickly over to you, enveloping you inside of his arms completely. 

the first hug he’s had since he got transferred to the prison. he was glad it was with you. 

his arms went around your waist as yours were over his shoulders, his face nuzzled in your neck, his sniffles muffled by your skin. 

he relished in the smell of your shampoo, the feeling of your soft skin against his, the warmth of your body he’d missed for so long. he relished in your presence.

he pulled back long enough to press a firm kiss to your lips, his hands trailing up to cup your face softly. your hands held his arms right where they were, not wanting to let him out of your reach again. 

“i love you,” he said once he left your lips long enough.

“i love you,” you returned. 

the sweet paradise didn’t last for long because there was still the matter with cat. spencer was troubled with what was going on with his mom. stressed from the realization that he might lose her forever. he leaned on you even more during that time, needing your strength to help guide him through the hurt. you were more than happy to oblige. 

once you had all found his mom, safe and sound, spencer was finally able to relax a bit. you both had decided to have a night in, just the two of you.

you turned on some soft music, and began making dinner together. you hadn’t had a moment to actually breath for so long, let alone spend quality time together in your shared apartment. 

making dinner with him was mostly just you doing all of the work. it’s not that he didn’t want to help, he really did. he’s just not the best in the kitchen. besides, you’d rather have his moral support than him to help. 

so as you hovered over the stove, stirring the sauce the pasta was just poured into, he wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling his head into your shoulder and placing soft, gentle kisses. you turned around into his embrace, placing a kiss to his lips in return. 

“it’s almost ready, bubs,” you said with a smile. 

“smells fantastic,” he complimented. “but i’m also in the mood for something else right now,” he said with a mischievous grin.

“oh? and what is that?” you countered, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“i think you know what that is, darling,” he said, pressing a kiss to your jawline with a little nibble. 

“how about we save that for after dinner, yea? i don’t want it to get cold and i’m hungry right now,” you shrugged, releasing him from your grip and turning around completely. 

“well that doesn’t mean i don’t get to hold you while you finish up,” he argued, wrapping his arms around your waist again and resting his chin on your shoulder. 

“okay, well you do that, sir,” you laughed, stirring the pasta once more. “actually, can you hand me the plates, please?”

“of course,” he complied, handing you the plates that were on the already set table. “here you are.”

you both ate relatively quickly, you weren’t lying when you said you were hungry. after cleaning up a bit, which was spencer’s job since you cooked, you had both settled on the couch and were cuddling while watching a rerun episode of doctor who. 

he was laying his head on your chest, his arms wrapped around your body protectively as you stroked his hair softly.

then, he ran his hands underneath your shirt slowly, stroking the soft skin on your waist. his hands gradually went higher and higher on your stomach until the were right underneath your boobs.

“spencer?” you giggled. 

“hmm?”  he mumbled, lifting the shirt to reveal your stomach and lightly kissing it all over. 

“are you okay?” you asked, looking down at the man who was practically worshiping your body. 

“hmm, i’m perfect,” he hummed against your body. he let his hands go higher on your body, grasping your breasts through your bra. you let out a breathy exhale from his touch.

his lips traveled to replace his hands as they traveled to your back, looking up at you for permission before he unclasped your bra. you nodded eagerly.

“i need words, princess,” he ordered, his voice deeper than previous. 

“yes, please,” you squirmed, feeling the wetness pooling at your core as he undid your bra, revealing your chest to him as he threw it somewhere in the room. 

when his lips finally wrapped around one of your breasts, his hand went to the other one, playing with it gently. his tongue toyed with your nipple, his teeth gently grazing it occasionally.

“oh my god,” you breathed out heavily, your hips bucking up towards him for any friction. 

he brought his knee up to your core, giving you the perfect amount of pressure you needed. your hips ground against his knee quickly, begging for any kind of release you could get. his mouth switched breasts when he felt the other one was neglected. when he could tell you were getting close he snapped his knee away from your body, a low groan leaving your mouth.

“patience, princess,” he laughed against you, his mouth coming up to kiss yours fervently. “you’ll take what i give you, alright?” you nodded. “words,” he brought his hand up to wrap around your throat gently, not applying any pressure.

“yes, sir,” you moaned at this new found assertiveness. 

it wasn’t that he was never ‘in charge’ in the bedroom. it normally just took a while for him to get there. besides, he had also told you before how he kind of liked it when you were in control of him. you liked it either way, as long as you were with spencer you loved it. 

“i want you to go to the bedroom for me. you should be undressed by the time i go in there. no touching yourself. got it?” he asked, his hand moving from your neck to your chin, pressing it between his fingers.

“i’ve got it, sir,” you nodded eagerly as he allowed you to get up and make your way to the bedroom. you followed ever instruction he had given you, finding it even harder to not touch yourself while you waited for him. you sat in the center of the bed on your knees, facing the door.

after a few minutes you finally heard footsteps outside of the door. when he entered, he looked at you with such loving, caring eyes you weren’t sure what you had done to deserve him.

“princess,” spencer greeted you, “if you’re not comfortable with doing this you don’t have to act like it for me,” he said in his normal sweet tone as he sat beside you on the corner of the bed, his arm tracing down yours softly. “i need you to be totally and completely sure that you’re okay with this.”

“i am, spence,” you assured him. “i promise. if i don’t like anything i’ll say red like we normally do. i remember the stop light system,” you finished, leaning more into his touch.

“alright, i was just checking,” he leaned in, placing his free hand on the side of your face to bring you in for a tender kiss. “i love you.”

“i love you.”

“alright, princess,” he switched his normal tone into one of dominance. “ready?”

“yes, sir. i’m ready,” you agreed, clenching your thighs together to find any source of relief.

“good girl,” he leaned in, placing another kiss on your lips. when your hands went to wrap around his neck and in his hair he grabbed them in his own. “no. good girls ask for permission.”

“i-i’m sorry, sir,” you apologized. “i just-you’re so...” you trailed off.

“maybe i need to restrain these since you clearly have no control of them,” he wondered, moving to hold both of them in one of his hands.

“n-no sir, please. i’ll be good now. i promise,” you pleaded, trying to convince him otherwise.

“i don’t think so. sit against the bed frame,” he ordered as he moved to the closet to grab two ropes for your wrists. “now, maybe next time you’ll have half a mind to ask permission before touching me,” he began wrapping your wrists securely in the ropes.

“yes, sir,” you nodded sadly, your eyes reaching the bedspread.

“are these tight enough?” he asked as he pulled on one of the ropes.

“yes, sir. they’re tight enough,” you pouted.

“hey, princess,” spencer pulled his hand to your cheek, his thumb gently grazing your cheekbone as you nuzzled into his touch. “this is because you need to learn, alright? it won’t be forever.”

“alright, sir,” you smiled as he placed his lips to yours one more time.

“you’re my girl, right?” he asked as his hand began trailing down your naked body, tracing every curve you have.

“yes, sir,” you breathed out, goosebumps forming from his touch.

“mmm, you’re so beautiful,” he hummed as his hands traced from your hips down to your center, purposely missing the one place you craved his touch.

“please, sir,” you closed your eyes, hoping to feel his hand giving you some kind of relief.

“what did we talk about patience earlier?” he said as he moved his position on the bed.

“i-i take what you g-give me,” you recalled from your earlier conversation.

“so you’ll take what i give you now,” he said as he trailed kissed across your thighs in an upward direction. “i can’t even tell you how much i missed your pretty pussy. how often i thought about it late at night when i was alone,” he growled into your body. “i thought about,” he moved his hand to trail right above your clit, going all around it but never making any contact, making you squirm even more, “how responsive you are. i thought about how good you taste on my tongue,” he said as he trailed his tongue right over your entrance, a low groan leaving your mouth. “thought about that noise.”

“oh, god,” you mumbled as his tongue continued to move at your entrance, occasionally going in and out, eventually his tongue making its way to your clit and flicking it gently. “shit, yes,” your hips were nearly grinding against his face, your arms yanking at the bedframe.

the way he would groan into your pussy, just turned on from all the noises that emitted from your body was enough to send you over the edge as his tongue continued it’s attack on your clit. the only thing is, you needed permission.

“please, please, please, sir,” you begged.

“please what, princess?” he asked, his fingers taking his tongues place and continuing to move.

“please can i cum? p-pleaseeee?” you pleaded, tears pricking your eyes.

“cum for me,” he ordered. “show me how pretty you are when you cum,” he said as his lips connected with your pussy once more, finally sending you over the edge.

“fuck! yesss! oh my god,” you cried out as he worked you through the high.

the only thing is, he didn’t stop once you came down. he kept on going. he moved his fingers to your center and slowly pushed them inside of you, moving them rapidly in motion with his tongue on your clit. his fingers accompanied with his tongue and the way he moaned against your body was quick to bring you right back to that edge, you found yourself falling over it very quickly.

“oh my- please! can i cum? i’m so so close please?!” you begged once more.

“go ahead, princess,” he mumbled quietly against you.

you came with a string of ‘thank you’s’ as your hands pulled against the restraints violently.

“yesss, oh my god!” you yelled as you came down from your high once more.

“good girl, you’re doing so good for me,” spencer praised as his hands trailed up to your breasts, gently massaging them.

“mm, thank you, sir,” you relished in his touch.

“i’ve missed you so much, waiting to taste you like that again...” he trailed off. “waiting to be inside you again. to feel you cum all over my dick, god i miss that,” he growled.

“me too, sir. please,” you huffed out, squirming as he trailed kisses up your torso. “i-i want to feel you, please,” you pulled against the ropes. 

“does my princess want to touch me?” he teased, trailing his hand down the side of your face.

“yes, sir. please!” 

“since you’ve been so good, i’ll allow it,” he complied, finally undoing the restraints. you held your arms against your side as he massaged them, trying to bring the feeling back. “alright, princess. you can touch me now.”

“thank you, sir,” you said as you brought your hands to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you so you could kiss him. 

“on your knees,” you immediately rolled over to your knees, your ass waving in the air waiting for spencer. “good girl,” he chuckled, his hand tracing the curve of your ass before giving it a squeeze. 

before you knew it, spencer was pushing himself into you. it had been so long since you’d been with him, it felt like the first time you had been together. subtle whimpers left your mouth as he was fully sheathed inside of you.

“fuck, i missed your tight pussy,” he growled, his words causing more wetness to pool where the both of you met. 

“it-it’s too big, sir,” you cried as he pulled back out slowly, only to push himself inside once more. “ah!” 

“take it, sweet girl. i know you can take it,” he bent down to moan into your ear as he slowly thrusted into you again. “uh... just like that, princess. just like that,” he groaned. his hands found your hips, guiding them onto his cock even with his thrusts inside of you. 

“oh my god,” you huffed as your face began to turn into the bed, the pillows and sheets muffling your sounds. “fe-feels so full.”

“you’ve got it, sweet girl. be my strong girl, alright,” he said, noticing the way your head nodded in the pillows. he trailed his hand up your back and grasped your hair, pulling your body up to meet his. “words, princess.”

“yes, sir. i-i’m so s-sorry,” you stuttered out, your head leaning back on his shoulder as his hand trailed down the front of your body. his thrusts only sped up the longer he stayed inside you. “oh, yes, yes, please!” you begged, not sure what for.

“what is it? huh?” he moaned in your ear. “want me to cum inside of you? or do you want to cum all over my dick? which is it?”

“bo-both, sir. please!” you confirmed as he quickly pulled out of you just to flip the both of you over so he was on top of you.

his hand found its way to the crest at the center of your body, doing rapid yet gentle strokes to get you just where you needed to be. before you knew it, your third orgasm of the night had come and gone. your arms went around his waist and neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer to you. the warmth and pulsing of your pussy helped pull spencer over the edge soon after you, his release inside of you being something you didn’t know you missed so much. 

“fuck, you’re such a good girl for me,” he groaned as he fucked his own release back into you. “so good, y/n. you’re so amazing,” he praised, pulling out of you as you whimpered from the overstimulation

“spencer?” you asked, feeling a bit hazy. 

“yes, princess?” he asked as he rubbed gentle circles on your hips.

“mmm, i love you,” you smiled dizzily.

spencer noticed that look. the glazed over eyes, the way your smile seemed slightly faded. he knew exactly what to do for that, too. 

“i love you too, sweet girl,” he smiled, placing a kiss to your forehead. “why don’t we get you cleaned up, yea?” spencer’s hand found your hair, gently running his fingers through it.

“shower with me?” you asked, your hands trailing his jawline ever-so-softly, barely ghosting over his skin.

“of course, y/n,” he agreed, getting up so he could guide you to the bathroom. 

he gently sat you down on the toilet as he started the bath just how you liked it. he made sure to add lavender epsom salts to soothe your muscles, which were more than likely sore from the night’s activities. he added a few essential oils which were good for anxiety, worry, and body aches just to be sure. 

“alright, sweet girl. ready for the bath?” he looked over his shoulder to find you practically on top of him.

“yes, sir,” you nodded. 

spencer sat behind you as you leaned onto his chest, his arms wrapping around your waist as his palms rested against your stomach. you interlaced your fingers with his on your stomach as your head tilted to lay onto his shoulder. 

“i missed you, spencer,” you broke the comfortable silence. “a lot.”

“i missed you too, y/n,” he replied, placing a gentle kiss to your temple. 

“can i ask something?”

“anything.”

“what was that tonight?” you asked. “i loved it, don’t get me wrong. it was amazing. it’s just... you normally aren’t like that.”

“well,” he sighed. “i guess it’s because every time you would visit, the other inmates would say things. like... really bad things about you,” he felt tears welling in his eyes from the memories. “and while i was in there, i couldn’t do anything about it. so i guess i was just a bit pent up from the frustration, is all,” he shrugged.

“i’m sorry, spence. but,” you turned to look him in the eyes. “you’re not there anymore. no matter where your mind might take you, you’re here. you’re back with me,” you wiped the tears that he didn’t even know fell as he mirrored that of yours.

“i’m so happy to be back,” he pressed your foreheads together, not breaking the eye contact. 

“i’m never letting you go again.”