#at recognizing when im slipping into a lie and being like actually its okay for me to have a messy room or eat 3 wraps or whatever

[molerat]

Idk why but i like talking in the tags way more than in actual posts. I guess because its like more private? Honestly no one in their right mind should follow me in the first place so on the rare occasion i do make posts just to kinda talk into the void i dont feel too guilty. Still like putting most of my thoughts in the tags though.

[sylvie-writes]

Beautiful Just the Way You Are

word count: 1982

request: 

warnings: talks of negative self-image. please don’t read if this will upset you! 

a/n: this is part 5 of (undetermined) of me trying to finish requests that have been sent in ages ago. IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. it’s been hard to write but hopefully these will do. please ignore any mistakes, I typed this a bit fast and didn’t really check.

Chris 

You and Chris were getting ready to go to one of his closest friend’s wedding. 

This would be the first time you would meet each other so making a good first impression was a must.

Chris had gone to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners and you were currently scouring through the four dresses your sister-in-laws had lended you. 

The wedding was a summer wedding and it was gonna be held on the beach. 

As of recently, the heat had gotten worse each day meaning you didn’t want to be stuck in a dress that caused you to sweat like a runner after 12 miles. 

Both of Chris’s sisters had noted this and unfortunately all four dresses before you were above the knee, something that made you uneasy.

It seemed that when you were going to meet people or attend public events, your insecurities crept up even more than usual and your mind would shove negative thoughts down your throat. 

You were gorgeous, no doubt, but with such poisonous thoughts of yourself, you couldn't see any beauty as your reflection stared back from the mirror.

The first dress was a lacy yellow v-neck dress. It slightly flared out to the sides and it complimented your figure beautifully.

The second dress was a black bodycon, which made you want to scream. While to the average eye, your curves flourished under this dress, all you could see was a belly and hips that you wanted gone.

The third and fourth dresses were similar with thin spaghetti straps and flowy bottoms which reminded you of a bell.  

Unbeknownst to you, Chris had come back sometimes in between trying on the second and third dress. 

He peeked through the door, admiring how amazing you looked. 

Chris kept thinking how lucky he was to have such a woman until he heard yells of anger that shook him from his daydream. 

That was when you tried on the last dress and the final straw was gone. 

Your anger turned into tears as you collapsed onto the food feeling nothing but pain and worthlessness. 

In seconds, Chris was on the floor with you, wrapping his arms around your front where your arms were held up to your eyes. 

He rocked you back and forth, shushing you gently. 

“(y/n), honey, speak to me. Tell me what I can do to help you?”

Words were worthless at this point and all Chris could make out was “dress.”

He put two and two together and realized that you were upset with the way you looked. 

For some time now, Chris knew this had been a problem, but he didn’t realize it would bubble up this badly.

He knew words of his compliments wouldn’t help at all because you’d just say that he was lying. 

All he wanted was for you to see yourself through his point of view because you were like an angel.

“Hey, love, listen to me.”

Chris removed your hands from your eyes and looked at you in the mirror. 

“You are stunning, always and forever. Your body does amazing things for you and for me.” He chuckled at the end causing you to laugh a bit, a sad smile on your face. 

“I know you don’t believe me, but I would never lie to you. I made you that promise all those years ago and I will keep it forever, you understand me?”

You nodded just wanting to shrug this whole embarrassing experience off. You were never one to want people to see you like this because it felt like you were vying for attention when you weren’t.

“No, (y/n), I want you to say.”

Rolling your eyes, you replied, “Yes, I know, Chris.” 

He smiled and kissed your temple, “There’s my girl. Now c’mon, let's keep this dress on and I’ll help you with your makeup.

Ransom

You and Ransom were at one of Harlan’s publishing parties.

The family was up to their usual shenanigans leaving you and Ransom to sip on one too many drinks to stay interested.

One Joni walked away after trying to sell you some of her face moisturizer that cost more than the largest bag of dog food, Ransom snuck up behind you and led you to the garden, away from the sight of any house guests.

“How about we sneak away and take a dip in the pool?” His eyebrows raised teasingly and it was hard to resist such an offer.

“But Ransom, I don’t have a swimsuit!” You motioned to your maxi dress that was too pretty to damage with chlorine. 

You set your drink down on the cement bench and went to sit beside it before Ransom grabbed your hand and smirked. 

“Fine by me, here, simple fix!” 

In seconds, Ransom slipped off your dress, not even with a tear which was shocking from his usual animalistic movements. 

This left you standing in your simple undergarments, yet feeling more naked than actually being so. 

Ransom placed a kiss on your head before jumping into the pool in his boxers and nothing more.

He seemed ever so happy, waving his arms for you to jump in as he shook his now mop-like hair, now looking like a wet dog. 

Instead, you were sitting quietly on the ledge of the pool, arms wrapped around your waist trying to cover every inch of your exposed body. 

You felt so terrible like the sight Ransom would see would be so repulsive because that was exactly what you were thinking. 

When Ransom noticed that you were frozen in your spot and zoned out on some dragonfly floating in the pool, he swam closer. 

Ransom placed his hands on your thighs and looked up to see tears running down your nose and cheeks, dropping onto your lap.

At his touch, you involuntarily pushed him away and Ransom respected your space, floating back a bit. 

“Angel, what’s wrong?” 

“Ransom, I don’t want to be out here like this!”

You were on the verge of yelling, but instead kept your voice at a harsh whisper.

“Are you afraid someone will see us because (y/n) I can assure you they won’t. Plus, they’ve seen worse happen in this pool, trust me.” Ransom laughed, but you didn’t and he picked up on this, deciding to remain serious for the rest of the conversation.

“No it’s not that. I don’t want YOU to see me like this!”

The man swimming in front of you was in shock at such negative words coming from your mouth. 

He looked at you as an absolute goddess and he often wondered why a beauty like you would stay with a mess like him.

Sure he was gorgeous on the outside, but you were both inside and out.

“You’re just saying that because you feel like you have to, Ransom.”

You huffed and looked the other way, not wanting to even glare at him. 

Ransom laid his head on your lap in defeat.

“What do you want me to do? Worship you? Because I will! Oh (y/n), have mercy on me with your beauty! You are just so-” 

At this point, Ransom was speaking as loud as possible and he knew he was getting on your nerves.

You playfully rolled your eyes, “OKAY OKAY.  I BELIEVE YOU. Will you just hush now!?” 

Ransom looked up with a devious glimmer in his eyes, before he pulled you into the pool and you squealed loudly. 

“I think you are the one who should hush now, missy!”

Andy 

Andy had just gotten off from work and you had just finished making a surprise dinner. 

He was delighted at the sight of homemade chicken pot pie along with two bottles of old fashioned soda, a small tradition between the two of you.

You both settled down to watch a movie with your plates of chicken pot pie.

Andy had picked a movie that you’d never seen before and within five minutes your happy mood had morphed into insecurity. 

Turning, you saw Andy intently watching the movie as the most perfect woman appeared on screen and the negativity sprawled from your mind, turning nothing into something. 

While Andy just innocently enjoyed the movie, your inner saboteur told you that he was more so enjoying the sight of the gorgeous woman on screen. 

After all he had been stuck with you, so you didn’t blame him. 

Well he wasn’t actually stuck with you, but that's what you told yourself. 

You told yourself that he just felt bad for you and that is why he stayed. 

Andy noticed that halfway through the movie, you were uncharacteristically quiet and a sour pout on your face. 

“Gosh, imagine looking like that! That would be a dream.” A bitter laugh ended your snide comment and Andy immediately shut off the tv.

“Why did you do that?!” 

Andy just shook his head, “Because of what you said! (y/n), is there something you’d like to tell me?” 

“All I said was that I wish I looked like her. What’s wrong with that?” You nonchalant shrugged and turned away from his hard stare. 

“Honey, I can read you very well and I can tell that wasn’t just a joke.” 

You were quiet and Andy continued to pry. He pulled you tight to his chest, murmuring whispers of praise causing you to break and cry quietly.

“See, even when you cry, you are pretty.” 

Steve

The funny thing about insecurities is that it can turn someone into an absolute mess or monster. 

In this instance it was both.

You and Steve were at a cafe, one that you had been visiting together for years now.

Today, it seemed that the cafe had hired new employees as at least four faces you didn’t recognize were waltzing around the kitchen. 

It didn’t bother you until a complete beauty who introduced herself as Cara waited at your table. 

At first it was like the green eyed monster had crawled out of you and you felt shameful all until gut intuition showed you that she was being a bit too friendly with Steve. 

Little glances from across the room with flirty waves. At one point you swore that she winked at him. 

Her tone would instantly change anytime she talked to you and that made your blood boil.

Steve noticed your change in attitude as a borderline scary scowl worked its way on your lips. 

You were burning holes into the back of her head as you thought about how perfect the two would be together. 

Steve tried to nudge your half of your sandwich to catch your attention as he was clueless to what was running through your head. 

“Hey, doll. Why don’t you eat your sandwich? The flies are crazy and I can’t keep them away for long!” He swatted at the nagging flies, laughing at how the tiny creatures were defeating him, Captain America. 

You didn’t hear any of what he said and instead mean words that never once came out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you go be with her. She’s so perfect for you anyway.”

You stood from the table and stormed out the door, the tiny bell above it mocking you.

Steve was utterly confused at this random outburst. 

All he had mentioned was the sandwich, nothing about a girl, especially the waitress, whatever her name was.

Thinking back, Steve realized that she was flirting with him, but he was just so used to being friendly that he didn’t notice that he had put up such an illusion.

Especially one that hurt you.

The only word he was able to get out was “what” before he rushed out behind you.

He grabbed your arm and spun you to face him, not angry as he knew exactly how being insecure felt. 

“(y/n), you are the only one who is perfect for me.” 

You just fell into his arms, remembering that you were truly the only one for Steve.

[childish-ish]

my mom wont let me get anymore monster :\

pairing: billy lenz x reader

aha, part two of that last one. also im not very good at part 2s if you can't already tell, anywas for uhhhhh @walt25​ this is for u chief

also sorry again if i butchered his fucking uhh personality, its how i now write him lmfao,,, him talking in fucking..... 3rd pov hehe.

requests open....,,,, pleaase,,,,, request a slasher... ... 

also michael x reader and jason x reader fics coming soon lmfao.

You had to be an absolute fucking idiot to not notice the signs.

I mean - you didn't notice it at first, because you are an absolute fucking idiot - but then you actually saw something - someone, rummaging around in the fridge.

Like any normal - sane person would, you quickly retreat to your room after seeing an unknown man in the kitchen. An actual man with frizzy untamed hair and all-black clothing, save for a dark green sweater. Did he even have shoes on? You didn't really care enough to actually stay and analyze the man.

Again, like any normal, sane person would do, you call the police. You didn't recognize the large body to be anybody of Kappa-Sig, so you immediately dialed the number of emergency - ahaha, just kidding!! You aren’t a fucking normal and sane person! What you do is actually get a camera and step out of your room.

Stepping down the stairs quietly in your socked feet - avoiding the creaky stairs.

Ah, but alas. Once you peek into the kitchen, the male was gone. You drop your camera - screeching in pain as the fucking thing lads on your goddamned foot. "FUCK!" You cried out, crouching and dropping to sit on your bottom.

The other girls were at school that day - some had free periods and doing whatever. You skipped. Knowing you would have to pay something to someone for skipping a singular day.

Later that same day - The Moaner called, shortly after you falling on your ass. You immediately crawled towards the front door and picked up the phone.

The conversation went something like this;

"what did you do to the baby, billy?"

"yeah what'd you do to the fucking baby, billy."

"where's anges, billy..?"

"ayo, wheres anges?! WHO THE FUCK IS ANGES??? you been cheating on me billy?? oh wait if you're mocking a voice of one of your parents - maybe even a babysitter or guardian. then.. anges is your sister. or friend?? dude o-m-g what im like, a detective doin' some detective work n' shit."

"y/n.. where's billy?" he asked in that wailing.. high-pitched voice.

"oh shit, you know my name? ion know bro.. wheres billy? wheres billy..?!" You repeat.

"billy knows what you did last night..." He spits into the phone. "pretty pink cunt. pretty cunt. pretty pretty pretty pretty..."

Anyways. You had called him a little bitch and he hung up. You guess if Billy really did know what you did, he would've had to be there to see it. Somewhere. LATER THAT DAY - Present time.

You had a little alone time despite being alone the entire day. you catch my drift?

You cleaned yourself up and had disposed of the towel you placed under yourself, not wanting to dirty or piss accidentally on your bed.

Soon, you were drawing on the floor, fucking around with waterpaints - when the goddamned phone rang. A string of curses fall from your lips.

As you took a single step outside your room, the ringing stopped for one moment, before starting up again.

Quickly, you step out fully and jogged down the hallway. Peering down the stairs to see a - well. That figure from earlier - from the kitchen. You take two steps down the stairs.

"AYO?" You shout, immediately putting up your defences. "you know, ive read about this somewhere." You narrow your eyes, squinting at the male.

"ayo - ayo chill." You take a stumbling step backwards as he twitched, falling onto your ass, your ankle rolling. You curse before peeking up -

"Oh FUCK - oh FUCK??" You realize, he was halfway up the stairs. Oh my fucking god, where were the goddamned other girls. School still? What time was it? Fuck you don't know.

"Billy.. Billy likes you. Billy likes pretty piggy. Pretty p - piggy cunt." He spits out the last letter.

"You know what Billy. I like you too. You're pretty chill." You let him come closer, dominate hand clenched in a fist by your side. You let him take a few steps closer. The deranged male looms over you. His peach.. sickly yellow skin. Crazy brown eyes peer into your own.

"billy knows what you're doing. billy doesn't like it."

You sweat under the pressure. "What the fuck - ?" You let the curse slip past by your lips as the male falls onto you. You scream in surprise as the male practically dry humps against your hips slowly.

Pushing him away, you hear the front door open.

"Y/n!" You recognize the voice as Barb. The male glares angrily into your eyes, a warning for something, then scrambled off you and quietly scuttles down the hallway. You wonder where he goes.

"Dude!" You shout out from the floor, before pushing yourself up. "Holy shit you would not believe what happened - " You pause immediately. You were sure he could hear you. You change the subject.

"Bro nevermind i’m going to sleep again don’t fucking bother me!"

"I'll tell the other girls then!" Barb called back. You see her wave lazily before she leaves your line of view.

You scrambled down the hallway, to your room.

Where this little goddamned fuck was fucking with your water paints. Once you had entered the room, his attention was solely on your figure.

"OI!" You whisper-shout. His eyebrows jump up in confusion. "Stop fucking with that!"

Billy leaps away, onto your bed. He bounces for a few moments before you drag your attention back to your paints. You immediately began to clean up.

Once finished, you turn your bitch-ass attention to little Billy.

“Billy. How’d you get in the house fool? Oh wait, if you were actually forreal rummaging through out fucking fridge then.. do you live here?”

“billy’s been here forever. billy doesn’t like sharing his house. billy likes you.”

“damn lmao. thanks chief. anyways don’t kill me or ill fucking fuck you over from the other side.”

“billy likes pretty piggy.” he said ferociously.

“cool. anyways,”

you begin to ramble on to the male, asking him questions here and there about why he was there and why the fuck didn’t he kill you, you got the same answers as before, going on and on as you lie next to the seated, criss-crossed legged male, an arm behind your head as you tell him about your favorite shit to do and such.

Soon, it was okay. Billy was chill enough to actually not kill you, he told you in broken words that he lived there like he fucking said before but you don’t listen lmfao, he had hung around you alot when you had gotten home from your classes, sometimes waking up to the male besides you when you wake - you had caught him watching you shower, and offered him a shower as well. With no hesitation, he stripped and hopped it, immediately groping your body as his tongue licked upon the skin on your neck. It was a weird - sexual yet friendly relationship. You literally had no idea where this was gonna go,

[glassartpeasants]

Crying In The Club .8

Yandere!Overhaul x F!Reader

*Part 1* *Part 2* *Part 3* *Part 4* *Part 5* *Part 6* *Part 7* *Part 8*

Warnings: Yandere overhaul, angst, non-consensual touching, blood & gore, torture, death, sassy reader, some sexual references 

A/N: Yeah It gets kinda gruesome in this chapter so lol. But as a warning I will put a warning *GORE* before it truly begins. I was just in the mood for some good old gore.

Taglist

@hello-lucky-luka @winchester-wifey

~~~

Another meeting, another hour of torture. You couldn’t believe it. After 6 months of being with your boyfriend, thinking all the horror was gonna end, you were dragged back into the devils lair. Not only was he actually a sociopath but this man fully believed that he could convince you to love him. As if.

How could you love someone who hurt you in horrific ways? He lowered your self esteem until it was practically nothing by the time he let you go. You had only gotten it back a little bit when (????) came into the picture. You couldn’t help but cry the night you were brought back here. How could you be happy knowing the one person you felt safe with was dead all because of some psychotic man who believed you were his.

A gloved hand on your thigh ripped you out of your thoughts. You tried not to tense up and show that the feeling was unwelcomed. Which it was. You felt his thumb rub up and down your thigh while he was talking to some random crime boss. You looked around the room uncomfortable as you were the only woman in the entire area. It felt as if all eyes were on you. They were undressing you with their eyes. You could tell by the way the two younger men that licked their lips were looking you up and down. It seems that you recognize many of these people from when you use to go to the meetings before you left.

It looked like many of the older men had learned their lesson since not one of them looked in your direction. But the younger men seemed to be new. You refused to show weakness and go crawling to Overhaul for some sort of safety. So you decided to do the next best thing. Show them that you weren’t gonna stand to be looked at like prey.

“Can you two men stop looking at me like Im a piece of meat? This is a professional meeting and you acting anything less then professional. Plus I’m taken.” You cross your arms while glaring at the two men with hatred. Everyone was silent as they all looked at you. Surprised you had said anything. You weren’t going to let some horny men look at you like that.

“You know Overhaul, you should teach her not to say anything. This is a professional meeting after all.”

“Pfft, professional meeting? Last time I was in a meeting like this, all you disgusting men couldn’t keep your eyes off of me. Shame your guys wives doesn’t know your checking out younger women.” You smirk. Idiots be wearing wedding bands on their fingers. Listen you were no mobster but its pretty common sense to not show any weakness. Especially something as crucial as a wife or husband.

No one said a word. You stood your ground, you showed you weren’t afraid of these people. But you weren’t gonna lie, You were bat shit terrified. All these men were so much bigger then you were. 

‘Keep the confident front! Don’t show any fear!’

“How did you-”

“The wedding bands on your fingers.” All the men looked at their fingers realizing you had caught them. They then looked at you before they grumbled. Well everyone except the two younger men.

“Well sweets we don’t have any wedding bands. Hey Overhaul, you willing to sell that pretty thing over there?” Your eyes widen. Did these men really think you were just some toy to be pawned off? You did not miss this at all. In fact you fuckin hated this.

Before you could growl at them Kai had sen’t them a glare. He grabbed your hip and brought you in between his legs. His right arm snaking around your waist.

“No she’s not for sale. Let’s continue this meeting before I lose my temper.” Well this did not go the way you thought it would hot damn.

~~~

You sit on the couch near the back door. Watching as the older men leave with their tails in between their legs. Even if you would never admit it, Kai is much younger then most of these men. So if they were to fight him, they wouldn’t have a good chance in fighting. But the younger men, you don’t know for sure. Speaking of them you didnt see them leave the compound.

“Miss (Y/N), Overhaul had requested your presence in the basement.” Your breathing hitched as a feeling of dread washed your entire body. What did you do? You had only been back for 3 days! You couldn’t have done-

Oh yeah.

‘How could I completely forget about how I just dissed those men. Oh im so mega fucked.’ You breath lowly in fear of what would happen to you. Damnit you should have just been quiet and took it. Now you were gonna feel his wraith. Why did you do that? 

You follow the man towards the basement where you heard Kai’s voice talking to someone. Was it Hari? No couldn’t be. Hari’s voice held a bit more of a sweeter tone. At least to you. This voice was similar but you couldn’t put a finger on where you heard it before. Think, think, think damnit-

The to men from the meeting.

Your eyes grow wide as you walked down the stairs and heard the door close behind you. The creaking of the wooden stairs seem to ring in your ears as your eyes slowly adjust to the darkness. Your legs jelly as you fear what you might see. What could Kai be doing to those men? Even if they were a little creepy they had probably learned their lesson when Kai had screamed at them when you were leaving the room after the meeting.

Once your feet met the concrete floor of the basement your eyes wide at the sight before you. 

****GORE****

Right in front of you was the 2 men, tied in chairs, face bloody. You could have sworn some of their teeth were missing.

“Aw my lovely angel. Look, now they can never say anything to you. They don’t deserve to see your beauty. I’m proud of you for showing me which disgusting creatures were looking at you.” Kai said as he up behind you. He settled his chin on the top of your head. You see his beak coming off from the top of your head. His hands rubbing your shoulders gently, moving his thumbs in circular patterns.

“You stupid bitch! Were in here because of you-”

“(R/N) cut of their tongues. No one speaks to my angel in such a way.” You gasped as you backed up. Trying to escape the scene that was about to unfold. But you couldn’t Kai had grasped your chin and made you watch as a subordinate of his grabbed the tongue of one of the men before a sickening rip followed as the other man screamed. Blood gushed out of his mouth as the man coughed. Struggling not to choke on his own blood. 

The other man suffered the same fate followed by the familiar rip. Tears were rushing down your eyes as you felt bile rise up in the back of your throat. Kai looked down at you and saw the tears and gushed out of your eyes.

“Aw angel why are you crying? Is it because you know they’ll never say such vile things to you again? Your welcome for protecting you.” Kai softly spoke as he nudged his head in between your shoulders. You felt like you were watching a horror film but in 3D. 

The mens blood covered the tops of their shirts as they cough it all up. The men looked on the verge of passing out. One of them looked at you with a glare causing you to lift up your arms to cover your eyes. Your lip quivering in fear as you hear a pop and the gurgling screams of the men in front of you.

3 more pop sounds came and you were flinching every time one pop had came. You move your fingers to the side and see the men with their eyes gauged out of their sockets.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You vomited all over the ground as the men screamed even louder. You couldn’t see it. You didn’t want to see it. You were about to run out of the room before you slipped on your on vomit and hit your head against the concrete floor.

~~~

You open your eyes only to be greeted by a blinding white light. You move your arm to cover it so your eyes don’t sting. You flutter your eyes a bit before looking around your room. A pure white room that looked like a hospital room. You groaned. Was it all just a bad dream? I mean you did go to the hospital the day before you got kidnapped again. 

You smile a bit, thinking it was all but just a dream. You could go back to your loving boyfriend, you could eat with him and just enjoy his presence. You missed him dearly. The thought of him got your heart pumping harder and harder. You couldn’t wait to see his cheeky smile and that cute little mole on his chin.

Just as you were about to get up from the bed and go home, your thoughts were snapped when you heard the familiar voice of your captor. That meant that this wasn’t a dream. No, this was a living nightmare. You hadn’t dreamed this, it was real. Your boyfriend was dead and you were still in the clutched of the devil himself.

You let out a little whimper when you moved your head a bit. You gently touch the side of your head wincing at the pain. The sudden thoughts of what happened earlier scratched into your head. You shiver at the thought of what else could’ve happened while you were out. 

“Ah my darling angel, your finally awake. Is your head okay? Nasty gash you had. Since you fell in your own vomit I had to give you a bath. I never thought you would be even more beautiful then you already were.” Your eyes widen. He had changed you?! That means he saw everything! EVERYTHING!

Your cheeks grew red in embarrassment as you try and turn your head away. Only for Kai’s gloved hand to bring your face back to his.

“Aw my angel, don’t be embarrassed now. It’s not like I will never see you like that again. Trust me my love, one day you’ll be crying my name.”

[forever-rogue]

THIS THE DUMBEST MF REQUEST U EVER HEARD BUT IM ON MY PERIOD AND I HAVE TO TAKE MEDS BC CHRONIC CRAMPS ANS ITS GIT SO MUCH MF CAFFIENE AND IM FUCKING TRIPPING RN AND FOR SOME DUMBASS REASON I NEED DIN X READER WHERE READER TAKES MEDS AND GOES BATSHIT CRAZY LITERALLY IM SHAKING SO MUCH WOEOWOW SORRY THIS IS ACTUALLY SOME TH IFN IM ASKING FOR YOURE GRET!!

Hi friend, I hope you’re okay now and feeling better! Din blurb? Din blurb. Enjoy! Thank you @rosetophighlander for providing some much needed inspo!

Mandalorian Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

When it came to your least favorite time of the month, you were normally able to handle it...for the most part. It’d been a routine that you’d been going through for what seemed like eons, but some months were worse than others. This was one of those times; not just one of those times, but also the first time you’d had this much pain around your Mandalorian companion.

The morning had gone fairly well, you’d made sure to stay hydrated and eaten a decent breakfast, along with your small green friend, but why the time the afternoon started, your insides were in utter turmoil. You thought you were doing a fairly good job of keeping a neutral face and hiding it. Until...

“What’s wrong?” Din’s gaze was trained on as you sat in the co-pilot’s seat, hand on your stomach and a contorted look on your face. So much for handling it well...but it was hard when it felt like your innards were being eaten.

“N-nothing,” you lied, biting the inside of your cheek as another wave of cramps rolled over you. You should have known better than to lie to him. He was a trained bounty hunter, years of practice had made it easy for him to read just about anyone.

“Why are you lying?” he asked and you just sigh and let your head flop to the side, letting out an exasperation groan.

“Period,” you finally said through gritted teeth as you pointedly avoided looking at him, “I’m on my period.”

“Oh,” he sounded almost nervous but just awkwardly cleared his throat. He wasn’t inept when it came to a woman’s body, but it had been some time since he’d experienced being with a woman during her time of the month. You just nodded and a waved a hand in his general direction, “is there...”

“No,” you said quietly, hoping that if you remained seated and still that the pain would dull and pass quickly. Din stood up after a few more moments of watching you silently struggled with the waves of pain, disappearing without a word. Maybe you’d scared him off?

But no - he was back within a few minutes, handing you a big glass of water, followed by a few pills that you didn’t recognize. You didn’t even bother to ask what they were, or what their origins were, but you quickly swallowed them and down the glass of water.

“That should help,” he said softly and you nodded, giving him a thankful smile, “maybe you should...take a nap.”

“I’m not tired though,” you insisted, knowing the tiredness that always accompanied this time of month could come later in the afternoon. It always did, like clockwork.

“You’ll...just trust me,” he insisted, nudging his head in the direction of the your shared sleeping space, “you’ll want to sleep. It might be...just take a nap.”

“Oh...kay,” you shrugged and decided to oblige him, slowly clambering out of spot and heading for your cot. You might have been going crazy...but did you already feel better? Din wasn’t normally so cryptic or weird, but you weren’t to question him. Besides, maybe a nap would be nice...

»»————-　♡　————-««

Once you’d slipped into your cot, it took only a few minutes until you gave into the soft pull of sleep. If you’d been awake, it would have surprised you, but instead you were quickly snoring...and loudly.

But then...almost as quickly as you feel asleep, you were wide awake again. Your eyes snapped open as you felt a rush of energy running through your veins...you felt more awake than you possibly ever had. But your pain was gone, instead you felt nothing but pure adrenaline pumping through your body.

“Din,” you almost shouted, as you jumped up and ran to find him. When you didn’t spot him anywhere on your floor, you climbed up the cockpit and found him there, playing with the Child, “Din!”

A small, quiet oh no spilled from his lips as you almost barreled him over in your attempt to sit down in your normal spot. He had hoped this wouldn’t happen, it was a risk he was taking...but alas. Your eyes were wide as you sat down and stared at him, speaking so fast that he wasn’t able to catch more than a word here and there. Part of him wondered if you were even speaking Basic anymore.

“andidon’tevenknowwhatyougavemebutifeelsoalive,” you jumped up again, peeking outside, studying the dying light of day. Maybe you could go out and explore for a awhile. Just as you started walking off again, Din grabbed your arm and keep you from walking away, “what?”

“I think you need to stay inside and sit with me,” he felt bad that you’d had such a reaction to the pills he gave you, but couldn’t deny that he was little amuse, “it’ll pass soon, but I need to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” you insisted, bouncing on your heels as he kept you restrained, “I just want to go and explore!”

“Cyare...no, just say with me please,” he insisted softly, “but are you...feeling better?”

“There’s no pain,” you promised, “I just feel so...alive! Have you ever heard colors before? I’m pretty sure I’m can hear them!”

“Kriff,” he sighed lightly to himself.

“What even was that stuff?!” you asked as you pulled free from his hold on you and started to dance around the open space, “I love it! I feel so alive!”

“Painkillers,” he admitted honestly, letting the Child down to try and get you in his arms again so you wouldn’t hurt anyone...namely yourself, “apparently much more potent for someone of your size.”

“We should get more of that stuff! We should go to the market and buy some,” you grabbed his hand and started to dance with him, finding it hard to get the large man to move along with you, “you should take some too! Maker, can you imagine how much we could if we don’t have to sleep and we just play?!”

“You can’t buy this stuff at the market,” in order to give you some reprieve, he gave in and danced with you, letting you guide him around the open space.

“Where then!? We have to go!”

“It’s not exactly...legal,” he confessed the last part quietly, but you were so hyper-aware of everything that you picked up on it. You shrugged it off regardless, “I probably shouldn’t have given it you. I should have known better...”

“No, this is great,” you insisted, stopping and put your hands on his shoulders, “I’ve never felt so...amazing! I feel like I can do anything!”

“Yeah...that’s one of the effects,” he cursed himself silently. He’d just wanted help you and alleviate your pain, instead he’d created a whole different type of problem, “cyare, why don’t you come with me and we can go lie down.”

“But I don’t wanna,” you pouted at him, but he just hung his head, “I just wanna go outside and be with you!”

The last part tugged on his heartstrings a little bit, and while he was glad you weren’t in pain, he didn’t mean to induce all of this either. At least this way you were enjoying yourself; the grin on your face hadn’t faltered once. He weighed his options for a moment before nodding lightly, “alright. We’ll go outside and explore for a little bit, but if and when you start to feel sleepy or anything else, you let me know, yes?”

“Duh,” you promised him, your eyes glowing with excitement as you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his helmet, where his cheek would be, “we’re gonna have so much fun!”

You leaned down and picked up the Child, carefully as you could in your current state, and Din stopped breathing for a moment. He knew you’d never do anything to hurt him, but in your haze, he was mildly concerned. But you were still so gentle with him, making sure he held tightly against your chest before descending the latter to go downstairs.

“Come on, slow poke!” you called to him as he listened to your footsteps running out of the ship. He sighed lightly, almost in amusement as he quickly followed after you.

He had a feeling you weren’t going to be the only exhausted by the time you were coming down from your high. At least he knew better for next time: half dose...or perhaps something more legal...either way, he vowed to make sure to take care of you.

[shereadsandwritesformelanin]

The Baker And Her Actor: part IV [Click, Click, and Post!]

Parings: Chris Evans x Black Fem!Reader

Summary: You meet Chris while making a house delivery for the Evans. He can’t get you off of his mind, and to be honest neither can you.

Warnings: profanity, sexual content, angst, but overall fluff!

Notes: I hope you guys enjoy! If you have any request feel free to share those. Leave comments in the notes section!

Previous parts: (1) (2) (3) (3 cont.)

-

Y/n’s Point Of View:

Body aching, you shift once more before waking up.

You let out a loud groan of fustration. You’d beeen tossing and turning all night.

You were sad and felt like an idiot for what you did to Chris. Running off like Cinderella with no explinatiom was just so pathetic, especially after the perfect night you to had.

You knew you wanted to take things slow and you should have just conveyed that instead of running off no questions asked.

You needed to make things right.

Rolling over reaching into your night stan you grab your phone yanking out the charger.

Two missed calls from Kiara.

One text message from deac.

Three twitter notifications.

Nothing from Chris.

Sighing, you make your way over to the messages app. Opening up the messages between you and Chris.

Reluctantly you begin typing worried to wake him or if he’d be too upset and just leave you on read, and well who could you really blame if he did.

Y/n: Hi.

It had been fifteen minutes since you sent that lackluster texts message.

He’d probably seen it and thrown it and you away for some other hot Hollywood chick he had stored in his phone.

How was it possible to even screw that up.

Well great job Y/n another one bites the dust.

-

Chris’s Point Of View:

I’d be lying if i say I hadn’t seen your message. I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t doing anything at all.

I was just confused. You had me confused, confused enough to sit on my sofa coffee in hand watching my phone hoping you’d text again or even call.

I shouldn’t be a dick. I’m sure you had your reasons for pulling away, maybe it was too fast or you weren’t really into me.

Were you using me?

No I can’t think that, you’d never. You didn’t seem like the type. If you were you’d done it already and wash your hands with me by now.

Just fucking text her back, meatball.

Chris: Hi.

-

Y/n’s Point Of View:

Your phone pinged from across the room. Hearing the alert almost made you jump across the terrain of your bedroom.

Notification from The Captain.

Your heart nearly stopped. He finally responded like you hoped he would.

The Captain: Hi.

Shit he seems upset.

Call him.

Setting aside your nerves and pride you dial his number hoping he’d pick up so you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself once more.

Pick up.

Pick up.

C’mon pick up

Just pick up th-.

“Hello.” His raspy voice answers.

Oh

“Hello- erm good morning.” You state attempting to should chipper.

“Good morning y/n.” Chris repeats.

Just cut to the chase.

“So..about last night.’ You mutter. “I just want you to know it’s not you I promise I’m just stupid and shouldn’t have pulled away you were nothing but great I just. I’m not sure why I did that.”

Lying obviously.

“Y/n. You don’t have to explain anything to me, I’m not upset. I’d be lying if I say I wasn’t shocked and confused. But I’m not upset or blaming you.” Chris reassures.

Even through the phone he managed to convey his bubbling emotions.

“Can I see you today.” You ask nerves bubbling in your chest.

“What do you have in mind?”

-

You arrive at Chris’s house after an slight delay at the security gate. You couldn’t believe they thought you were there to “violate the tenants homes.”

Y/n: I’m outside.

The Captain: Im coming.

Finally you see Chris, jogging out of his home making sure to lock the door on his way out.

You unlock the door allowing him to jump into the passenger seat.

“Hey, sorry I was late dodger was being a tad bit fussy.” Chris apologizes.

“No, I’m sorry you have to be in my half ass car.” You joke

“No it’s great. Seriously!’ Chris reassures. “You got leather seats and Evan a sun roof.”

“Chris its a thirteen year old car, I’m suprised she’s still going.”

“Speaking of going. Where are we going?” Chris quips

“You’ll see.” You smirk

-

“A farmers market?” Chris questions stepping out of the car.

“Yes this is where I get my produce I don’t want any of the pesticides in grocery store produce.” You explain grabing your reusable grocery bags from the back seat.

“I hadn’t even thought about that before.’ Chris admits. “Let me get that for you.” Taking the bags from you slinging them over his shoulder.

You notice him slipping on some sun glasses. It wasn’t sunny at all, it was actually quite dull out.

“What’s with the glasses MIB?” You tease.

“Just not in the mood to be recognized, thats all.”

Sometimes when you were with Chris it slipped your mind that he was a wildly famous A-list celebrity. So you could understand the need for privacy and not wanting to be noticed all the time.

“Mm.’ You say. “Oh I always wanna get these Dutch donuts for my team. They’ve been working so hard I think they deserve something.”

“That’s sweet of you. I can help you bring them.” Chris offers

“If you want, but warning kiaras there and she’ll be a little bit over the top.” You warn

“Yeah I figured that when she pretended to not know I was in the house on our date.” Chris admits chuckling lightly.

You let a small smile paint your face thinking back to your date. “So about our date, I really wanna be honest and transparent here.” You say picking threw a pile of apples.

Chris faces you giving his undivided attention. It was clear to him there was something you wanted to get off your chest since you continued to peruse the conversation.

“It’s just, I haven’t talked to a guy, been with a guy, touched a guy in five years since my last serious relationship and I freaked out.” You admit sheepishly.

You couldn’t look at him you were too embarrassed.

You felt Chris slip his hand onto your free one rubbing across its skin comforting.

“Y/n like I said before you don’t have to explain it to me. I’m not upset, but I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me this. I want what you want. We can take this as slow as you’d like.” Chris clarifies

You for sure felt like Chris was a safe space for you. He wasn’t judging you or shaming you. He was kind and understanding, another thing you loved about him.

“Let’s get their donuts.” You say.

-

“Ladies first.” Chris smirks opening the door for you, hands full of donut boxes.

You cheeks burn the heat rising he definitely knew what he was doing being so cheeky.

“Guys I brought snacks!” You shout hoping to catch their attention in the back.

Kiara springs out from the kitchen, hair in a bun outfit covered in flour. “Yes you did, and I’m not talking about the food.” Kiara flirts undressing Chris with her eyes.

Chris erupts in a belly laugh. You knew she was only kidding but you felt a little jealous, even though he wasn’t yours.

“Okay.’ You interrupt sass in your voice. “so I have different assortments of donuts. So take your pick and choose wisely.”

You feel a familiar hand rest on your shoulder. “You okay.” Chris ask eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, yes I’m great.” You lie shaking off the bad vibes.

Chris shoots you a small smile, Warming your heart.

You notice Deac coming out of the kitchen. Arms crossed tightly.

“What’s all this.” Deacon speaks.

“Uh this, is me bringing you guys a treat for you hard work.” You motion to all the donuts

“And him.” Deac points at Chris .

The room goes stiff.

Please not now.

Deacon let’s out a sarcastic chuckle. “I just don’t understand, I’ve known your for a long ass time and you’ve never gone out with me, there is always some excuse, but you meet mr. hot shot Hollywood and your all over him. Just don’t be disappointed when he lets you down y/n.” Deacon states practically shouting.

The room was silent as he threw his Apron down rushing out of the building.

Your heart raced, turning to face Chris you notice he was quite red. Clearly flustered but what just went down.

“I should go.” Chris states hesitantly

“How you didn’t drive?” You remind him

“Don’t worry about me.” Chris says turning to walk out.

“Chris Wait!” You shout following him out.

“Y/n, it’s fine I should get going anyway. I don’t wanna damper the party.” Chris admits voice soft

“You aren’t, please don’t be mad.” You plead

Chris brings you in for a hug placing a small kiss on your hairline. “I’m not mad I promise.” Chris states

You both stay embrace in each other for what seems like an eternity.

A sudden shift in Chris body causes your eyes to shoot open. “Shit.” He whispers shouts

Pulling back immediately.

“What, what is it?” You question anxiously

“I got to go, go back inside please.” Chris begs walking away.

You follow his orders walking back in side completely baffled by what’s just happened.

-

Chris’s Point Of View:

Getting back home I quickly get on the phone.

“Megan, yeah we have a problem.” I state prepared to tell her everything.

Everything about how I’d been seeing you, how a pap had just shot about 50 photos of us in the span of .5 seconds.

This wasn’t good, and was the last thing I wanted for you.

“Chris this could be all over the news by tomorrow morning, what were you thinking.” Megan shouts

“I wasn’t! I thought we were safe!” I rebuttle.

“How do you know she didn’t call the paparazzi? It wouldn’t be the first time someone you’ve been talking to has done that.” She reminds me

Sitting back down I place my head in my palms fustrated. “I know I know.” I repeat.

“We can fix this, we have to for y/n’s sake she isn’t ready for the wolves yet.” I speak.

-

A/n: so like I stated previously this is based off the beauty and the baker on abc and I don’t wanna pull to far from that. So Deacon is gonna be our Vanessa 🤣.

But I know things seem rocky but they are in a good spot. Their both confused and now Chris is angry that he put you in that position to get violated by the public.

Kiara is just jokingly flirting nothing serious she supports them!

This is gonna be a long tale for our love birds. ❤️

-

Tag list:

@toniilaney

[bottomlwjrights]

MO DAO ZU SHI REREAD:Thoughts™️....and Stuff

Chapter 40

“They should’ve been able to talk, to say who they were, to shout for help. However, the awful thing was that somebody had cut all of their tongues off before this.” In case i havent said it enough, i hate Xue Yang!!!!

I dont have anything funny or witty to say, this whole situation is just sad

“She instinctively hated him and refused to settle. And so, whenever Xue Yang went out night-hunting with Xiao XingChen, she’d secretly follow them. Even when they were in the same house, she didn’t lower her guard.” She lived constantly on guard for, what, years?

Nobody told xxc stories when he was a kid, which I believe to be a crime

The first disciple to leave the mountain, YanLing DaoRen, was an excellent and renowned cultivator, but suddenly became a villian for some unknown reason and died under thousands of swords, according to xxc (parallels wwx a little)

“‘The second disciple was a girl and also very outstanding.’ Wei WuXian’s chest felt warm. She was ZangSe SanRen.” 🥺

“How would an outstanding and beautiful cultivator settle on a servant. This story’s so cliche. It’s probably made up by some poor scholar.” Oh little A-Qing... (wait this mirrors lwj and wwx’s love story, except of course the death part, because in my eyes they just cultivate to immortality and live happily ever after, together forever)

Shut up, wwx, you’re not a villain

Xxc describing sl makes me uuuh wanna cry “A very good friend of mine.” “A sincere man of noble nature.”

Shut the fuck up Xue Yang, no body cares

SHUT UP XXC CARRIED A-QING TO BED THATS ADORABLE 🥺 BIG BRO XINGCHEN EVEN TUCKED HER IN

Shut up!!!! He went and got her candy!!!! And then gave her candy everyday!!!!

Sl said to A-Qing the exact same the xxc said to her, like almost word for word... hold i...

Also note that wwx said they must have been very good friends to be so much alike 

Why did he hesitate???

“Song Lan answered straight away, ‘His height is similar to mine. His appearance is rather fine. His sword is carved with patterns of frost.’” Dont ask why this drove me crazy 

Sl was looking for xxc for years....

“For some reason, Song Lan’s face was extremely pale. He stared at the door of the coffin home, as if he would rush inside if he could, but was too scared to do so.”

“The instant he heard the [xxc’s] voice, Song Lan’s hands trembled so much that A-Qing could clearly see it.”

Sl was so angry his entire body was shaking

Xy is disgusting

After the attack of Baixue temple, while injured, sl said some nasty things to xxc....sounds alot like the aftermath of Nightless City....

“Who was the one who said ‘from now on, we won’t need to meet again’? Wasn’t it you, Daozhang Song? He listened to your request and disappeared after he dug out his eyes for you, but why have you come to him now?” Shut up shut up shut up

Fuck Xue Yang!!!!

“Song Lan looked down at Shuanghua’s blade, which penetrated his heart, then slowly looked up again. He saw Xiao XingChen, who calmly held the sword.” Im gonna cry

“Slowly, Song Lan fell to his knees before Xiao XingChen.” Yup im crying

“At such a time, if Song Lan passed his sword to Xiao XingChen’s hands, Xiao XingChen would’ve immediately known who he was. He’d be able to recognize the sword of his closest friend with just a touch.” He would have known sl’s sword by just a touch....

Sl didnt pass his sword to xxc so that he didnt have to bear the burden of knowing he killed him.....

“...large drops of tears rolled from her eyes. Although she was scared, A-Qing reached out to close Song Lan’s eyes. She then kneeled in front of him and put her palms together, ‘Daozhang, please don’t blame me or the other daozhang.’”

She kowtowed in front of sl’s body....

A-Qing is smart and quick witted, pulling such a fast lie like that

“Cut a few dozens of times on her face so that she’ll never have the guts to go outside again.” 😧

How xy can say something like that and then offer up a plate of bunny shaped apple slices that he cut himself is beyond me

“Looking at the plate of cute, delicate slices, disgust filled both A-Qing’s and Wei WuXian’s hearts.” Yeah me too

(Chapter 41 & Chapter 42 below the cut)

Chapter 41

A-Qing didnt wanna tell xxc about sl...

“The blood grew more and more and eventually leaked through the bandages, trickling down from where his eyes once were.” God he’s crying ....

“Originally, the injury of his eyes would bleed whenever he had excessive thoughts or emotions, but it hadn’t recurred in quite a long while.” I hate this

“...after Xiao XingChen managed to calm down, he told A-Qing, ‘A-Qing, run away.’” I hate this so much

“I can’t go. I need to find out what exactly he’s trying to do...If I left him here alone, I’m afraid that the people of Yi City would sink into his hands.” Y’all gotta stop with this selfless,self sacrificing, being a good caring person shit man, its okay to save yourselves sometimes

“A-Qing’s sobs weren’t faked anymore. She tossed the bamboo pole to the side and clung to Xiao XingChen’s leg...”

“Xiao XingChen asked coldly, ‘Was it fun?’ Xue Yang took another bite into the apple that was still in his hand. He only replied after calmly chewing for a while and swallowing the fruit, ‘Yes. Of course it was fun.’” I hate him

Even the idea that xy did all this because he was bored...

“My finger was my own, while those lives were other peoples’. They wouldn’t be equal no matter how many lives I killed. It was only around fifty. How could it have possibly been equal to one of my fingers?” I cannot even begin to express my disgust...

This is all so sad....

“… Is that you, ZiChen?”

“Even if the two swords had just clashed, Xiao XingChen should be able to tell who the other was from only the strength of the attack...He turned around slowly and reached out a quivering hand, feeling for the blade of Song Lan’s sword.”

“… ZiChen… Daozhang Song… Daozhang Song… Is that you…?” Im crying again

And he’s crying nonstop

“… What happened…? Say something…”

“Xiao XingChen stood blankly in front of Song Lan. Putting his hands on his head, he wailed as though he was ripping his chest apart.” I cant handle this shit im about to stop reading

Fuck you, Xue Yang

“At this moment, Wei WuXian saw himself in Xiao XingChen. Him, who failed miserably as he stood drenched in blood, who couldn’t do anything except silently acknowledge the critiques and accusations, who was wholly beyond hope, who could only cry in despair!” Yeah i didnt need that in the middle of all this

“He could only whimper in pain, ‘Please. Let me go.’” Im really going through it

They all died in such horrific ways

Thank goodness thats over!!!!

Chapter 42

Wwx really implied that xy killed Chang Ping as revenge for xxc huh....wow no

Even in death, A-Qing is brave. Thank you for your contribution in ending that mf

Lwj cuts off xy’s arm when he reaches towards wwx

There was so much blood on the ground that wwx almost slipped in it, gross

Lmao i didnt think lwj would be the one to just toss a pouch to someone but here we are

Wn just squatting on the ground, chillin

Okay yanno what im still confused as hell as to why the juniors were lead to yi city...

God that makes me so angry, Xue Yang keeping the piece of candy for years and holding onto it when he died, like even the idea that he liked xxc and still decided to torture him to death good lord

“Lifting up the hem of his robes, Lan WangJi stepped over the high threshold in an elegant manner, then nodded.”  Wwx just looks at lwj do literally anything and is just like “he’s so elegant 😍 so graceful 🥰 look at my lan zhan, so pretty 🥰😍🥰”

“When he wakes, say I’m sorry, it wasn’t your fault.” Wow....

“He still wore the dark cultivation robes. Standing alone, he carried two swords, Shuanghua and Fuxue, he brought two souls, Xiao XingChen and A-Qing, and walked another path.” Wow.... i wish for you the best, Song Lan

Lsz standing and wondering if xxc and sl would ever meet again....

I agree with jl, death is too light of a punishment for xy

Lmfnck ljy cried the loudest out of everyone sjnckck

The juniors light incense and burning paper money for them 🥺 they’re so sweet

ItS nOt lIkE yOuVE DiEd HoW wOuLd YoU KnOw iF DeaD pEoPle ReCiEve PaPeR MonEY

PLEASE WATCH YOUR MOUTH JINGYI

“How come? Was I really that much of a failure? Was there not a single person who burned paper money for me? Was it really because nobody burned them that I didn’t receive any?” STOOOOOP

“Looking at his calm face, Wei WuXian thought to himself, Really? Had he really not burnt anything?!” Okay i don’t remember if he actually did or not but nonetheless this shit hurted

The hunter was probably the same person who lead them together to yi city with the corpses, BUT WHY THO

Awwww wwx happy to see Lil Apple

Stop teasing jl, wwx, its not nice

Even though the lookout towers are a good idea, and benefit smaller more remote towns, i cant help but wonder if there was some kind of ulterior motive behind them

“Almost all of the dishes were covered in red. Paying attention to Lan WangJi’s chopsticks, he notes that he ate mostly from the milder dishes, rarely the bright-red ones. Even when he did, his expression remained the exact same. Wei WuXian felt something tug at his heart.” uGGgGgGHhHhH 

[neo-princess]

Helloooooooooo can you please do a NCT dream reaction to another member hurting you? If you can't it's perfectly fine! Thanks anyways 💖💖💖your writing is so good 🥺🥺🥺

A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH! I swear I’m so unoriginal I literally need to survive off of asks.

Renjun

You were slapping jaemin back and forth, playfully of course. You slapped his arm and he slapped yours back, you guys progressively got harder as you went. However, Jaemin when from like 30% all the way to 96%. slapping your arm so hard you belted out a scream. Renjun spring up, recognizing your voice. He rushed into the room seeing you hunched over clutching your forearm.

“Oh, I really hurt you? I’m so-,”

“What did YOU DO!” Renjun snapped rushing over to you.

He removed your hand from your arm, seeing the red hand mark there.

“Why did you hurt her?” Renjun asked, this time more disbelief in his tone.

“I didn’t mean to.” Jaemin spoke.

“He didn’t mean to, we were just playing around.” You told him.

Renjun looked at you, shocked that you’d do something where you could get hurt.

“Don’t do it anymore, if you’re gonna get hurt y/n.”

Jeno

Chenle was attempting to pull a prank on Haechan, slathering the floor with olive oil making it slippery. Chenle heard footsteps approaching the hallways of the dorms, he hit behind the wall his phone switched to the camera as he recorded. When he heard a screech he started to laugh, his dolphin laugh radiating towards through the dorm.

“Y/N! Are you okay!” Jeno came rushed toward you, careful not to slip himself.

“Y/N!?” Chenle gasped revealing himself from behind the wall, phone in hand “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” Chenle apologized, immediately feeling guilty.

“This was you!?” Jeno yelled, making chenle jump.

Jeno pulled you into his arms, rubbing your back which seemed to be the source of pain.

“I didn’t mean to! It wasn’t mean for her!” Chenle replied.

“Just, next time make sure you know who you’re pranking. And don’t do this prank again, cause who ever this was meant for will get hurt too.”

Haechan

Haechan has invited you to go roller skating with the rest of the dreamies. You guys never really got time to hang out, and he thought this would be a good time to do that. You played around with Jisung and Jeno as Haechan watched from behind, smiling. He loved how you got along with his members.

But, Jisung pushes you a little too hard. This caused you to fall over and your knees to bang onto the hard wood flooring, in an attempt to brace yourself.

“Y/N!” Haechan’s eyes when while as he kneeled by your side.

“Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry! Please forgive me.” Jisung panicked, not wanting anyone to be mad at him.

“It’s okay Jisung.” You groaned, trying to stand with haechan’s help.

But once you inhaled sharply, Haechan just scooped you into his arms.

“Let’s get you over to that bench over there.” Haechan said to you.

“Hyung, Im sorry.” Jisung apologized once more, really feeling bad for hurting you.

“It’s okay, just be careful next time.” Haechan said before, going over to the side where the benches were.

Jaemin

You’d accompanied the dreamies to their show that would start later in the afternoon. They had some down time in arena and found a kick ball to play with. You decided to join in since it would be fun.

Jeno was such a good kicker and was beating the other team of chenle and Jisung so much. But you not so much. Jeno went to kick the ball but hit it at the wrong angle, it launched off the grown smack into your eye.

“Fuck! I’m sorry.” Jeno rushed over to you, running you over to jaemin.

“What! What did you do!?” Jaemin flipped, just walking into this.

“I swear it was a mistake.” Jeno rushes his words.

Your tears coming down fast, and jaemin just rolled his eyes, Wrapping an arm around your waist as he brought you out to the hall.

“Let me see, babe.” He said softly.

Removing your hand from its place in your eyes, a dark circle started to form around your eyes.

“Shit, that’s a black eye.” Jaemin cursed. He wasn’t make that jeno did it, just that you were hurt.

“C’mere.” Jaemin spoke pulling you into his chest, kissing your head lightly.

“I’ll go get you an ice pack in just one second baby.”

Chenle

You and the dreamies had a beach day together, they really liked hanging out with you. Plus, you loved being around your boyfriend. It was getting pretty late so you all started loading back into the van that you care in.

However renjun thought fat you’d soften in the car, and just as he went to close the door you yelled, your fingered getting slammed.

“Renjun!” Chenle yelled, getting out and going straight to you.

“Ow ow ow.” You cried, pulling the pulsing fingers between your thighs, in an attempt to cool the burning sensation.

“Baby are you okay?” Chenle asked as you just place your head on his chest.

“Could you be more careful next time, Y/N’s hurt now.” Chenle said, taking a look at your fingers.

Jisung

You guys were just chilling in the dorms, nothing really special to do. But, you did want to spend time with them..especially Jisung. Haechan was the one you were closest with besides Jisung of course, so it wasn’t a surprise that you guys were playing around with each other.

“Don’t get hurt, Y/N.” Jisung joked.

And it seems like just as he said that you got hurt. Haechan pushed you off the couch jokingly but, he did it so hard you actually fell. Hitting your ankle on the coffee table.

“I- Y/N!” Jisung groaned going over to you.

“Ow it hurts.” You whined, clutching your shin.

“Baby, I told you not to get hurt! Come on let’s go lie down.” Jisung said helping you up.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Haechan said in Sad tone sorry for what he had done.

“It’s okay.” You mananged to choke out, though your sobs.

“She’ll be okay, just be careful with her.” Jisung told him.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 5

oh dear

Though she’d had time to slip back into her shoes and soothe away the immediate pain of Emerald’s silence, the journey here had left her no less raw, a persistent frown curling her lips.

i said this last time but i’m still really enjoying the cinder narration we’re getting in the remaster... i also know it’s what really will be the final nail in my coffin, but c’est la vie.

of course it means we get 2 see this sadder cinder and i! dont like it AAAAAAAA!! i preferred it when we had no idea what her motives were so then Me Caring About This Round Child could be delayed but now we’re in full force i-love-cinder territory!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLEASE....

i literally googled maikoa’s name JUST IN CASE SOME BUGGERY WAS GOING ON but i think we’re safe. no hidden double meanings. no secrets....

Her lips pinched together, watching a Faunus with broken antlers lower his head to avoid Maikoa’s gaze, others with similar signs of abuse doing the same. It was a familiar move, one she recognized intimately.

i BEG to be free of this depression!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD. GOD I DO NOT LIKE THIS PART!!!!!! and what do u mean recognised intimately hello??????

Golden eyes scanned the streets, the Faunus all turning their heads away as her gaze fell over them. Most were older than Maikoa. Others were children, their horns and fangs still growing in.

im sad now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SAD,

Pristine steps rose to a porch lined with pots of Angel’s Trumpets, and Cinder’s smile thinned. It almost looked cozy.

NEVER FUCKING MIND WHAT I SAID ABT HIS NAME I WAS WRONG,

“Do you often question your superiors?” Cinder asked.

[...]

But even without the slow shake of his head, Cinder already knew the answer to her own question. There were too few scars to be seen on Maikoa to indicate he had ever refused an order from the White Fang.

theres like.... HISTORY HERE...... and im SO UNBEARABLY CURIOUS as to what it IS. like. im tryna figure out. if her superiority over him stems from her dealing w. the fang, or if. shes actually been. a LOT closer than we know. cinder’s history is SO muddied and even though i know we’ll discover some of it im endlessly curious because I Know Some Other Shit that makes me WONDER.................... is there more to this....

Cinder blinked down at the key, not missing the way her title was tacked on as an afterthought. That same heat from before pooled in her cavernous ribcage. Violence collected at her twitching fingers, old scars across her body flaring with phantom pain.

That old itch again, like every wound rubbed raw.

THERE’S SOMETHING MORE HERE AND I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT PLEASE I WANT TO K N O W

like the interactions w/ cinder and the fang are so specific and im like. i just. whats going on. WHATS HAPPENING. HEWWO????????? am i misreading it.... maybe..... but also...... hm,

“Tell me, Maikoa, do you think Sienna Khan would care if I killed you right now?”

i never said i would write cinder/sienna fic but hey if you put a gun to my head i certainly wouldn’t say NO.....

Around them, the Faunus that had been sheltering close to doorways and alleys had begun to take notice of what was happening. They stood watching openly, their ears all pricked and swiveled towards the scene.

you know what im gonna say it. cinder is just. GOD. she thinks of herself as powered by that sorta burning spite??? that she works for HER MACHINATIONS and boots ppl up the ass if she feels like it but. i just. shes like ‘im not gonna care!!! gonna do my thing and not give a shit’ but she gives so many shits. every day, new shit, and she’s giving it out like she’s at a soup kitchen. of shit. and i LOVE IT GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cinder ‘i have never cared’ fall is actually cinder ‘i have ALWAYS cared ALWAYS’ fall and i BELIEVE IN THIS because u kno. u kno that rly. a lil piece of her aint gonna give her the satisfaction of being a stone cold bitch!!!!!!!!

Cinder had made arrangements with the White Fang’s leader herself, and Sienna Khan wasn’t known for a bleeding heart.

NEVER SAID I’D WRITE IT BUT I NEVER SAID I WOULDN’T WRITE THE CINDER/SIENNA FIC,

On the edges of her peripherals, Cinder saw the people stepping closer, their attention rapturous. It occurred to her that they probably viewed her as a savior, someone to break the shackles of their enslavement to the White Fang. Someone altruistic. Someone not motivated entirely by spite.

They didn’t know her.

The White Fang would send another overseer—they always did—and by that time, the white-hot resentment licking at the inside of her ribcage would have exhausted, her own plans taking her far away. There would be another overseer, the inhabitants would resume their harried lives, and Cinder wouldn’t spare this town a second thought.

Besides, a nagging part of her insisted, this town would probably not survive the coming days.

but theyre ON HER MIND.... IS..... THE THING..... like out of all we’ve seen of her narration so farm she DOES think abt it she IS aware of it and she DOES recognise it and all of this is just her. trying to say to herself ‘you dont care this isnt yr business’ but i just. MMMMMM ITS A LIE. SHES LYIN. and because of [SPOILERS WO~AH] im like. bitch. bitch,

okay moving on from vague cinder feels but i AM right i WONT BE SWAYED,

FROM THE CINDER, TO THE GLYNDA...

She didn’t stop, continuing on with scarcely a moment’s respite, her body drawn by the increasing tug of Cinder’s location.

👈😎👈

And she found, though she’d only hunted Grimm in the past, the trail Cinder left was similar enough, black smoke hanging in the air like a veil.

👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈

okay honestly if i keep grabbing bits the rest of this will become a huge emojifest but there’s. there’s a lot of Hints being dropped. just So Many. LIKE JUST A LOT LIKE. 

im rly loving the deserts clashes tho we get some Peak Cinder and Peak Hunter Glynda too its all very 👌👌👌💦

In her soft Beacon years, she had forgotten how a hunt made unnecessary things wilt and die to make room for stronger senses, and even forgotten how to use those stronger senses. Now, it was as if she had never lost them. Her blood didn’t just sing to her now; it roared like the engine of a great machine, and the prickle in her flesh at Cinder’s presence was like needles.

a few things abt this passage:

ONE. i rly like that shift to ‘soft beacon years’, because i think that rly draws a line in the sand (hoho) from glynda ‘i gotta protect beacon its my home i belong here’ goodwitch to the current glynda ‘cinder is my goal beacon is behind me right here right now she is my one focus’ goodwitch. this hyperfocus is, firstly, a mood, and also just a rly good character tidbit we stan this autistic bitch,

TWO: 👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈 fuck off!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF GOD THAT BIT IS BRAZEN

She had been young then, yet to learn or respect the emotions people expected from her.

WE STAN ONE AUTISTIC BITCH!!!!

For the first time since she’d fully committed herself to the hunt, Glynda felt the prick of displacement. A small, distant part of her wanted to go home.

i cant wait to publish the bingo card i made JUST for offal hunt because rn that shit would be pretty chockablock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few minutes later, her Scroll buzzed again. Ozpin passed her the details for a secure communication channel to an Atlesian address, belonging to one Special Operative Winter Schnee.

YES HERE SHE COMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE APPROACHES,

okay so THAT’S CHAPTER 5 DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly this one really WAS OUT TO HURT ME and i Hated Every Second but i still am out here knowin Cinder Lies To Herself Most Of All and also Glynda Is One Big Old Dumbass,

thank god winter will maybe salvage this probably maybe not

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “a babe, a snack, a f-cking heart attack”

[Specific-Summary]:  They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking, 

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)(16) (17) (18) (19)

(20) (21)

D: [Picture of Roman and Logan cuddling asleep. Jpeg] Aw what a lovely couple

R: s h ut u p sh ut u p

D: Hey you were the one who said it was ok to make fun of your crush

R: I SAID THERE WAS NOTHING TO MAKE FUN OF BECAUSE I DIDNT AND DONT HAVE A CRUSH

R: ok i might have said to not bring it up to his face again but that was not an admission of anything deeper then standard thirst ok

R: deeeee yyou’re not responding and your silence wont make me talk

D: Oh I was getting the evidence

[Screenshot. Jpeg]

D: Huh… That seems pretty soft and gay for “standard thirst” don’t you think?

R:....

R: YOU MENTION SOMEONES CHUBBY CHEEKS ONCE. ONCE.

D: It was more then once {Screenshot Montage. jpeg]

R: he has a lovely smile ok!!! And all those dimples and his moles byg od!!!i can appreciate friends!!!

D: and I have beautiful piano hands you think were sculpted from the finest porcelain and should be protected but alright just a friendly friend thing to constantly be thinking about

R: why must youl punish me for speaking the truth????

D: it's apart of the job <3

D: but yeah we all know you dont have a hand fetish or a smile fetish you were just raised on a diet of shakesphere and disney

R: you know,,, boyfs usually don’t yah know e nc oura ge this HYPOTHETICAL behavior

D: I mean if it was someone like Remy then yeah I’d have some issues D: But it’s L so it’s all good

R: remy isnt that bad!!! yall be petty!!!

D: That’s Why We’d Have Issues D: If I have to share I’d at least liked to enjoy the other person’s company

R: thats almost sweet

D: I try

R: speaking of trying… this weekend?? you free???

D: If this has anything to do with a birthday present I Dont Want then I’m suddenly busy with homework

R: lies lies lies lies lieeeeeessssss you barely do homework

D: ;)

R: but really i told you im not getting you a physical gift but we can still go on a date!!!

D: mm sounds like you treating me and thats Illegal and suspicious

R: nope! I want a date! It's entirely for selfish reasons!!!no selflessness here!!! And if we just so happen to end up at one of those stuffy art museums you like or a book signing or two then well dang i guess???

D: what are you planning

R: it's a date!!a cute little date k!!! So you down?

D: Perhaps

R: yee boy

D: If you drive me there <3

R: SLIMY

D: Snakes do not have slime ™

R: yet here we are

D: So?

R:alrigh fuckin bet lets do it

D: Wai D: t wha

---

“Happy birthday!” Roman cheered, crashing into Dmitri.

Without looking up, Dmitri easily caught Roman in his arms, “My birthday isn’t for two weeks,” he sighed, his exasperation being melted as Roman nuzzled him further.

“Mmm shut up,” Roman dragged Dmitri behind him in the parking lot, the school bell ringing, “We had a deal so stop pouting,” he said, sing-song.

“It’s not a pou...Then why are we going to my car,” Dmitri said, expression souring and no it wasn’t a pout, he does not pout--

“Because, ” Roman said, expression sly in the way that always made Dmitri’s stomach flip, “You’re a babe, and I love you dearly, but Virgil’s car is his baby and some lines aren’t meant to be crossed.”

“Uh,” Dmitri ignored his blush, “Noted.”

-

“I’m surprisingly in one piece,” Dmitri said as they got out, “With all those cute faces you make when concentrating it was a wonder I got out alive.”

“Shut up!” Roman shoved him lightly.

Dmitri caught his hand swinging it between them, “Where are we anyway?” he vaguely recognized the park.

It was one of the smaller ones around, with it’s old, weathered playground blending almost seamlessly with the unruly trees. The discarded toys and cracked pavements so achingly familiar that he had to second guess whether or not he actually could hear children laughing.

Roman looked up at him, lips quirked, “Don’t you remember? It’s where we first met,”

“But we met in 8th--” he stopped as something clicked, his hand drifting to his scar automatically, “Huh, church camp?” he looked at Roman curiously, “There were a dangerously high amount of kids who went there, how did you even know me?”

“We were...always the last kids picked up,” Roman said, "Virgil and I always had each other or Remy to keep each other company, but you…” he got a faraway look and he rubbed his arms self consciously, “You always looked so... lonely...I guess I never really forgot.”

Dmitri sighed pushing a stray curl from Roman’s face, “You’re so sappy,” Dmitri murmured with a fond look, effectively pulling Roman back down to earth.

He didn't bother to linger on the memories for too long, instead pulling Roman along gently, “Let’s see if those rusty swings still work, eh?”

----

“Stop fidgeting,” Roman whined, the flower crown falling limp in Dmitri’s hair. Dmitri continued to ignore his request, choosing to press his face into Roman’s stomach, much to their distress.

“How do you expect me to just ignore such a fuckin’ snack?” Dmitri said, muffled in Roman’s skin.

Sure the ground pressed into him at an uncomfortable angle, but Dmitri had the important job of figuring out if that was a new freckle he spotted. He planned on being thorough. Roman eventually relented to the very important investigation, dandelions falling to the wayside as Dmitri shifted him onto his back.

Even when Roman managed to reluctantly bat him away, Dmitri still looked mighty pleased with his new spot between Roman’s thighs.

“Having fun?” Roma drawled, resigned.

“Always,” Dmitri’s immediately said. He cupped Roman’s face, hair falling in waves around them as he leaned down.

“Mmm,” Roman hummed, the air warm, “Do you want your real birthday gift now?”

Dmitri’s eyes narrowed, “Roman…” he said, warningly.

“Hush,” Roman said, no whine in his tone. Instead, it was of calm reassurance, “I didn’t buy you anything. I just got a bit nosy…”

“What do you…”

“I talked to a few old friends who knew Emile--”

Dmitri stiffed, pulling back, “-- he left without a word, he fucking hates--this town.”

“Dmitri, let me finish,” Roman said softly, slipping a hand on their shoulder and sitting up, “I asked a few of his old friends, got in touch with him,” he explained, “He’s living with a few cousins in California, he’s doing well...and...and I asked him about you…”

“He fucking hates me.”

“No, he misses you.”

----

Dmitri slid into the driver’s seat before Roman could protest and soon enough they were driving back in silence.

It had been a long time since it’s been this...awkward between the two. Sure they have their quiet moments, but it was never like this…. Roman had never done well with silence, even if Dmitri seemed to thrive in it.

Roman twisted his hands, forcing himself to speak, “Dee...I’m sorry if I overstepped your boundaries. I know it’s a sensitive subject,” he said.

Dmitri’s remained intently focused on the road, “You were being thoughtful, a prince as always,” he said with a smile.

That smile.

You know the one.

“That’s some god-awful bullshit,” Roman said, “You're angry.”

“Not at you,” Dmitri said, far too quickly.

“It’d be okay if you were,” Roman said and Dmitri’s face faltered, “As much as you claim me to be faultless, that little conversation about boundaries applies to me as well. It’s your birthday gift, so it’s your choice what to do from here.”

“Does this...gift have a receipt…”

“It can if you want it to.”

“And if I…” Dmitri's voice cracked, but he continued, “If I don’t want it to…”

“I have his new number and you have all the time in the world. Don’t stress about it he’ll understand.”

Dmitri wanted to think Roman was lying. God, he wanted it to be a lie because the truth curled in his mouth like a foul aftertaste. It rose in him and consumed him completely.

He was afraid, so fucking-goddamn afraid.

He saved the number regardless.

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[constantodyssey]

untitled one through eight (-three)

nov. 4 2016 

day in day out walking from place to place no one ever stops to find out what the world could be like if things were different if things were better

we’re all numb we’re numb to the politics we’re numb to society numb to the international troubles the world is facing the constant threat of war taking everything for granted because we’re too ignorant and numb to stop and find out what the world would be like if we tried to make it  a better place.

- 

nov. 5 2016 

my brain is being torn into parts pieces and parts that no one can figure out how to repair swirling spinning ripping my mind flows into several directions i try desperately to grab hold of whats left tightly keep it together so maybe not all of it will all apart i feel my pieces and parts slipping between my fingers they escape with no mercy flying in every direction trying to find a way out of my head theres no escape for brains like mine my mind can try but i know it will find there is no better place to be than the home that will set you free.

- 

nov. 7 2016 

I walk into my 4th hour class knowing how this is all going to play out. I’m going to sit in the back of the room, next to the filing cabinets, the student computers and my English teachers desk. Then, the boy called Jaden will walk back to me asking why i sit there instead of with the class in the normal seats. I will ignore him. He will walk away,  eventually. My teacher will walk in, give the instructions for the days assignment, i will finish before most other people. Then I sit and wait for the bell. Normally, I finish then read a book, but today was different. Today I felt different. I didn’t want to read, but at the same time i wanted to. i also wanted to stand up and walk straight out of the classroom, but i didn’t. Today felt numb. I felt  numb. I don’t know why but i know i did. Maybe it was  the sleep deprivation or the build up of depression. I’ve had days like this before; where i could laugh easier than ever, then switch to sad in a spilt second. it’s an odd feeling, for sure. These are always my worst days.  I never know how i will end up feeling. “neeka, you need to read,” she paused, “or do something productive at least,” teach said impatiently. I tried to reply. I wanted to turn my head and say ‘i can’t’, but i didn’t. I just nodded and continue to sit. A few minutes later, I caught her glancing at me to see if i was reading, which i wasn’t (i was still sat there staring at the wall ahead of me, twirling an old gum wrapper between my fingers.) I decided it would probably be best to begin reading if i wanted to avoid her any further. I quickly push back my chair to retrieve the book from my bag. Making both minimal and the most noise i could. In doing this, i received glances from a few other students and a concerning look from teach. After twenty minutes of staring at the dead paper, the bell finally decided to ring. Every person in the class hurriedly gathered their things and rushed out the door to make it to their next class, but mostly to socialize in the hall. i took my time today, though. Making sure my book mark was placed perfectly in the crease of the book and placing it gently into the bag before slowly zipping the bag and flinging it over my shoulder with a thud. I turn to face the door, sigh, and begin shuffling towards it. Only as i was about two feet away from the door, teach called after me. I turned. “Are you okay? you seem a bit off.” I won’t look at her, i can’t. I’d rather not look at the eyes of an insincerely worried teacher. “Just tired, is all,” I replied convincingly. Im not sure of her reply or if she even had one because as soon as the words fell from my lips i turned and began walking again. I wish people would stop trying to act like they care. I know she wouldn’t have asked if i didn’t actually work hard in her class. 

-

dec. 26 2017 

What terrifies you the most?

The fact we wake up every morning with the threat of intercontinental nuclear war  

- 

dec. 26 2017 

its dark outside a few outside lights shine from the house further up on the hill the house is dimly lit you turn the slightly rusted circular handle of the full length window-door an open floor plan kitchen, living and dining room are present under and around the kitchen counter are familiar people. stoned you turn your head slightly to the left to peek into the living room to find people drinking and playing cards around a large coffee table there is one light on over the coffee table that is lighting the entire room a few steps forward from the door, through the kitchen/ dining room, you turn to your left and enter a hallway that leads to three bedrooms and one bathroom directly ahead you turn to the right, to the first room. people are intertwined on the bed. peaceful. that room reeks of weed you exit the room and enter the one right behind it, also on the right needles on the floor and in arms are needles people passed out with these needles you leave the bathroom is next it lies at the end of the hall one person lies in the bathtub covered in their own vomit passed out the third bedroom, the biggest, is on the left side of the hall as you enter you recognize all the people occupying this room as your friends they are gathered around a tv playing video games they might be sober but you can’t really tell you keep moving straight towards the french doors at one end of the room through these doors is an office windows line all the walls its the kind of room you don’t need lights in when the morning comes around all the people that hate you lie on a air mattress on one side of the office they’ve been drinking you can tell they glare and talk shit but you can’t hear it turning to the right you walk toward another door that leads to an add on of the house this room is the brightest so far all the lights are on but in a good way it looks like all the lights fit in with each other to make the room look perfect the people who occupy this room are the ones who are supposed to be out there they are the stoners and alcoholics and druggies but your can’t smell anything in this room there are no needles in sight not one damn bottle of anything they are all clean this is where you stay you know they know whats out there but they are still in here, having a better time than everyone out there laughing and enjoying being awake and sober this is where you stay not because you don’t want to be drunk or high but because you know what happens when you are drunk or high they know too thats why you are all in this room together clean

- 

jan. 4 2018 

my mind is never not racing. all kinds of thoughts flowing through it nonstop. it’s almost enough to drive a person mad. or maybe this is just normal and I’m too weak to handle this. its 2:19am. i have school tomorrow but i don’t really have school tomorrow. its crazy how much you can hate something but the minute its taken away from you, you miss it almost more than ever. why do our brains work like that. its like that with all things as well. no matter how miserable that thing is, you miss it at least a little when its gone. even depressed people miss their depression when they’re happy. its almost comical. why do feelings feel so awful. why do i feel feelings for people who don’t feel the same feelings. why do feelings fuck us over like that. why do we lie about things to other people when we know those things aren’t true. we know it as we say it. but we still continue to lie, then make a story out of it. why do people like to destroy their home. even if they are told the home they are given will most likely never be replaced, they still don’t take care of it like they should. why do people in higher up places love rules so much, but never follow their own. why do they think just because they are placed higher in society they have the right to control everyone else but not play fair. why is the world not fair. why do people hate the concept of equality so much. even people who are put down by the majority don’t fully support equality. If war is started by simple misunderstandings, why do humans have such a pattern of not listening to each other. why don’t we respect each others opinions. we all want to live longer, better lives, but we destroy that possibility by disrespecting other cultures and viewpoints. maybe if we listened more instead of just plugging our ears and pointing fingers maybe the world would be a better place. Every free country on the planet fought to be free. but why would we fight to be free just to turn around and fight to conquer.

- 

jan. 4 2018

drugs don’t give a shit what color your skin is. it’ll drag you through hell and back until you don’t have anymore functioning brain cells. these drugs are everywhere. worldwide. they don’t care if you’re blacker than the night sky or a pale rich asshole. you could be living in bum-fucked-egypt or on the highest floor of a skyscraper in Shanghai. cheap drugs, rich drugs, suburban drugs, hood drugs, its all the same shit with a different name. they don’t fucking stop till everyone looks the same on the inside. burnt up and fucking dead. we live in a society so fucking divided we argue about who produces the most or the best drugs when we should be coming together to find a better way to keep all economies stable enough to not have to rely on drug sale. everyone thinks its a fucking joke but people are dying every fucking day. Everyone left and right overdosing on the new biggest thing. don’t get me wrong, drugs are great. they make you feel great. but maybe if we made the world less shitty to live in people wouldn’t be turning to things like drugs to take them out of reality.