#or like i dont mind using as a reaction image! i know people use the snatcher crushed emoji and gif a lot as a reaction image! is ok!

[plumfumble]

hey, i made that! where'd you get it from? kinda nuts if hatgame discords exist that are still active

BOINGBOINGBOINGBOINGBOING

[anachronistic-falsehood]

hey guys wouldn’t it be funny if the suckening characters had tumblr

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

omw to burger king gonna get the no whopper whopper who wants anything

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKV YKU FUCKG HUOU

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

suck my entire dick and balls

👑 shilo-bathory

Hello It’s Me Shilo Bathory Son ofthe Wueen hello 👋 what’s Is That There Is A Hand oon the Light Box Whose Hand Is that There Is A Tiny Man Inside The Lightbocx

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

you pressed the emoji button after typing hello see here i can do it too hello 👋

👑 shilo-bathory

Who Are Yoy Is This your Hand In The Light Box

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

why are you typing like a homestuck character

👑 shilo-bathory

Wghat is Home Suck

🦇 iamthevoid

The darkness is my only friend… my one constant companion in these long decades of breathless life…

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

edgelord alert

🦇 iamthevoid

Boy you have no idea what horrors I have seen. I have witnessed wars and massacres the likes of which would give you nightmares. You have seen nothing yet.

#darkness #my twisted mind #lonely #depression #no one understands #despair

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

@/iamthevoid stop typing like that youre clogging up my dashboard

🦇 iamthevoid

It’s what best suits my dark and twisted soul… if I even have one.

😈 phantom-flipper-official

who tf got peepaw a tumblr account

👑 shilo-bathory

Hello Emizel It Is me Shilo I Helped Arthur create a “tumblr blog” like You Did For Me ☺️ I Know How To Make The Smiley Faces now

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

👑 shilo-bathory

Emizel Hwo Is This Man inthe Lightt Box. Who is That

🦇 iamthevoid

Prince, I believe that is Keanu Reeves.

🗡 fromthetoprope

@/shilo-bathory Actually My Prince, that is Ben Affleck! He is an “actor.” I learned about him while watching the large light box!

👑 shilo-bathroy

grefgor

🥤 the-soda-man ✅✅

hey guys, i’m shutting this blog down. my soda addiction was getting really really bad, and i think it’s best i don’t post about vintage sodas anymore. i’m rebranding to the nalgene man

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

CONGRATS ON THE TRANSITION 🥳

🥤the-nalgene-man ✅✅

THANKS BRO YOURE MY NUMBER ONE ‼️‼️

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

the no whopper whopper is not worth the twenty five dollars

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

YOU SUCK SO BAD

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

DUDE GET OFF MY DICK

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

I’LL GET OFF YOUR DICK WHEN YOU GET OFF MINE

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

GUESS WERE GETTING OFF EACH OTHERS DICKS THEN

🦇 iamthevoid

I’m reporting this post for sexual content.

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM YOU WANNA GET OFF MY DICK TOO

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

YOU CANT GET OFF HIS DICK YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING OFF MY DICK

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHO SHIWED YOU HOW TO USE REACTION INAGES?????>?>?

👑 shilo-bathory

Emizel We Are Learning ☺️ Grefgor Knows All

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

whoever showed arthur homophobic dog im going to strangle you he wont stop saying “i know what you are” and “dont tell me youre one of them” whenever i do anything i was washing the blood out of my clothes at 2 in the morning and he passed by the bathroom and said “i dont think thats normal” im going to fucking rip his throat out

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOR

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHY IS THIS GETTING NOTES

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

you guys HAVE to stop asking me about arthur hes not my fucking dad i was an orphan your assumptions are offensive im not related to him i called him peepaw AS A JOKE

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

i AM related to the other guy but thats not relevant

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHO GAVE YUO MORE IMAGES

👑 shilo-bathory

His Arsenal Is Expanding ☺️

🦇 iamthevoid

What is a Tumblrina and why are the people in my inbox calling me one?

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

im gonna fucking kill myself

👑 shilo-bathory

Okay 🥳 See You when youu Come Back 😊🥰

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

[meshla-cyarika]

My Love, My Life

Pairing: Tech x Jedi!reader

Word count: 1,063

Tags/warnings: angst, grief/mourning, there's alot of signs of autism shown in Tech in this fic but less obvious ones.

Summary: After finding your name in the Imperial obituary, Tech doesn't know how to move on.

A/N: How many aura points do I lose for crying while I wrote this even though it's not that good? I was originally going to have a part two of the reader's perspective where it's reveal that oh my god you're actually alive, but I dont know whether to do that now purely because of how deeply Tech is shown to be grieving and I kinda don't want to take that away from him. Yk what I mean? But if people say they want a part 2 who am I to deny them? Also, yes, the title is based off of that one ABBA song cuz I was listening to it while I wrote this.

--------------------------------------------------

The Marauder was tingling with tension. The genocide of the Jedi, the betrayal of the Empire, the loss of Crosshair and the gain of Omega all happened over the course of twenty-four hours. Everyone had their own reasons to be on edge.

Tech's mind had been on autopilot for days. As soon as he saw what Master Billaba's men did to her and how quickly Crosshair became bloodthirsty for all Jedi, time seemed to stop. He had frantically typed on his datapad to try and find an explanation for such a brutal attack. When Tech saw that it was a full fledged genocide, he swore his heart stopped beating for a second. The only thing that kept him from having a panic attack was his advanced biology.

When they got to the Marauder and fled Kamino, Tech was instantly searching the Imperial database for the list of the dead. He never thought he'd have to check an obituary to find your name, but there you were. Jedi Knight. Executed on Lothal. The reference image they used for you was haunting. To see you stood there, just so alive, with the word executed next to you was enough to make bile stir in his stomach.

It didn't feel real. Tech looked at your information in the obituary again and again and again, but his mind just couldn't process the information. He felt like the only way he could believe you were dead is if he saw your body laying before him and he could never bring himself to do that.

Everyone noticed the difference in their brother. Even Omega, who hadn't even been with them that long, noticed his irregular behaviour. His brothers were puzzled by his reaction to their new living  situation. Out of all of them, Tech should be the least likely to get emotional over this. Then again, change has alway been a problem with Tech. It always takes longer for him to process things like this.

They began working for a trandoshan called Cid to do some seedy work. It was obvious why Hunter made them work for her, obvious to Tech anyway. It was because being sent out on missions that have various conditions is all they ever knew. The concept of settling down on a planet and ignoring the war raging on outside is foreign to them.

It's been ten months, three weeks and five days, since your death. Tech's behaviour hasn't changed and his siblings have assumed it's all because of Crosshair up until this point. Tech had been understanding with Crosshair on Kamino and held only mild hatred for his decision.

No. This is something else entirely.

Hunter's heart aches at seeing his brother's despair and having no idea what's making him feeling this way. Tech being Tech, will never say.

He finally snapped when one of Cid's workers, Phee, persistently kept making moves on him. Tech couldn't help the pure emotion radiating off of him in waves, as he shouted and yelled at the woman. It should be you laughing at his sarcasm, it should be you calling him pet names, it should be you with him. He just wants you and that's the one thing he can't possibly have and it hurts, it makes it feel like his heart has been ripped straight out of chest.

Tech stormed off to the Marauder which was a mistake, because everything in there reminds him of you. Your first kiss on his bunk, your late night conversations in the cockpit, your shared experiments at his desk.

He wants to scream and yell at how unfair everything is. Out of everyone in the galaxy, why you? Why did death have to take you? His perfect cyar'ika who could do no wrong and managed to cling to the little faith you had left through the most devastating battles.

Grief is something Tech has experienced only a handful of times. The feelings still feel new and uncertain and that unnerves him. Tech's emotions are usually filed away in organised compartments that only he understands. Now, everything is overflowing and overlapping. Everything is too much.

It's like a bad dream. He doesn't want to be here anymore. He wants the comfort of a familiar routine, back when his biggest concern was what days him and his cyar'ika would be on shore leave at the same time.

Tech sinks down into the far corner of the bunk room, ripping off his goggles and letting them clatter agaisnt the durasteel floor. He draws his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his shins, before leaning his forehead agaisnt his kneecaps.

The last time he found himself in this position was back when he was a cadet. As much as he tried to ignore it, the regs had gotten to him. 99 had found him curled up in the corner of an embryo lab. He had said nothing at first, just sank down next to him and let him know that he was there if he needed him. Tech found himself wondering for years why he couldn't have been like everyone else, why the Kaminoans made his mind work this way. Tech would give anything to be "normal". He never asked for any of this.

A set of footsteps stomp their way up the ramp and Tech doesn't bother looking up. He's prepared for the demanding yells, the overbearing questions and the looks of outrage on his brothers' faces. What he isn't prepared for is someone sliding down the wall next to him. Tech almost flinches at the feeling of someone placing a hand on his back and tenses all the muscles in his body instantly. Eventually, his body goes back to being lax and a shaky sigh leaves Tech's lips, as he leans into his brother's side.

Tech doesn't want to talk about you to his brothers. If he talks about it, then it's real. Your body is rotting on Lothal and he'll never see you again. He can't face the reality of it. It's too real. He can't do it.

The hand on his back rubs soothing circles into his spine. I'm here, if you need me.

Someday, he will tell the tale of his beautiful cyar'ika and you'll become an honoured part of their mismatched family, even though they had never met you. You will forever live on in his heart.

[ariesbloodstone]

I know buck was weirded out by the fact that tommy and abby was engaged. I mean who wouldnt? That's a crazy twist. But I got a feeling that buck was bothered by it because tommy had hurt abby. Almost like he still care about her and feel protective over her and angry at tommy for hurting her. I know he loved her and maybe still care about her, but that just seem weird to me. At the restaurant scene when tommy said he was engaged and almost married a women, buck looked surprised seems understanding about it. When tommy said abby took a himbo half her age, buck just responded by saying she maybe did that to get tommy out of her system. He didnt even mad at tommy and seems to be on his side. But when tommy said it was abby clark and buck realised who it was, he got shocked which is understable. And then he told maddie. And said that tommy led abby on and hurt her. And buck thought he knew tommy and never thought tommy would be that cruel. But he only feel that way when he found out the women was abby. So I wonder if he would react the same way if the women wasnt abby? Based on his reaction before tommy mention her name he doesnt seem to care about it. I dont know. To me it looks like he still care about abby which is ok but like he cares more about her than tommy when he is actually dating tommy in the present. I dont know maybe I'm wrong but I just feel weird about it. Actually all the scenes was weird in this episode.

I really dont like buck flirting with that women in the restaurant. I mean tommy was there and watching. Its so rude. And then the convo about women and abby. And then the scene with maddie and josh. Another thing thats weird to me. Why buck was so suprised and hurt on abby's behave for what tommy did? I know what tommy did is not right, but tommy used to be a closeted gay men when he was younger. We all know that and so does buck. He was probably spend most of his life being in the closet than out. Which means he probably had girlfriends in the past and hook up with guys in secret. Like most all closeted gays do at the time?. I mean I know this is 2024 but buck is not a teenager. He's young but not that young. He's what, 30, 33? I'm 30 and even I know how hard it was for the gays in the past. A lot of them hiding in the closet meaning they maybe had girlfriends and even wife. Even I know and understand why they had to do that. And buck doesnt and got angry about it? And what the hell about that speech about post glee stuff. I know a lot of people like it but its not my favourite. It just seems cheezy and frankly unnecesarry because a man at buck's age should've known all that stuff already.

It seems like buck had build up a perfect image of tommy in his mind. His first impression of tommy is that he's so cool and feel threatened by him which turn out to be a crush. And he look up to tommy and admired him which is cute and all. But then he saw this flaw of tommy and he got dissapointed. I think he should know that not everyone is perfect not even tommy. But its not good to have that kind of high expectation to anyone, even your own partner. They gonna have flaws and weakness.

Making buck asking tommy to move in after all that knowledge about abby and gay history is another weird move. How come he got that idea after all that. Another thing to blame the writers about. Not to mention making tommy feels like that is the end of their relationship. He could have just said it was too soon which it is. It is too soon and clearly tommy is not ready for it. A lot of couple survive through that. Its not a marriage proposal. Most doesnt work out after a rejection of proposal but this is not it. They could've work it out. Its like the writers in ep 5 is totally different from ep 6. I have read a lot of fanfiction that are a lot better than this mess of storyline.

[ender-cloud]

That new TGS update made me physically ill holy shit! Spoilers under cut

I feel like we all knew that this would happen but I wasn’t actually ready for it, Like god Lanyon you truly were screwed over

THIS MADE ME LIKE AGAHBAGWGAVEVS!!!

Also after this the “I wanted to be the person you needed me to be” makes me just feel so agshabaggas JEKYLLLL!!! It broke my heart and im still not ok.

Even after jekyll admitted it was him Lanyon still wanted to find an excuse how it couldn’t be at first and it’s just like, Lanyon! You can’t be doing this to me man!

Also, just, Jekyll saying that Hyde was a mistake is a punch to the gut, because i get how he can think that but Hyde is still like a part of Jekyll he separated from himself! Does he think that part of himself was a mistake? Or does he think that ever separating Hyde from him was a mistake? Because these two things can have very different meanings.

If he thinks that part of himself was a mistake: he hates a part of himself that he cant control which is something a lot of people experience but its still not ideal, But its also Fucked up, Because Hyde has become his own person and Jekyll is acting like he Dosent exist, like Hyde can’t hear all of this

But on the other hand if he thinks it was a mistake separating Hyde from himself might mean that he can see that maybe it would be better if he still had that part with him and this shows his growth from who he used to be. Finally realizing that it still makes him, him, again something some people need to overcome in real life.

Though it is most likely the first option but i can only hope its the second

I know that Lanyon’s reaction is probably the most important but I really want to see Jaspers and Rachels reactions too because we havent even gotten a glimpse of them in the background and it’s just heightening my curiosity, because Rachel was close to both of them so she’s the one im most interested in after Lanyon.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE PAIN!!!

Im going to be honest i think Lanyon is valid for this because yes it has been 2 years and He and Jekyll have been friends for long enough to where you would have this trust base relationship.

Also they just got together romantically which would fuck up Lanyons mind even more. Like way to go Jekyll breaking the foundation of trust in a relationship in your first day of being in one. I can see how he might feel like his feelings are being played with, Hyde would avoid him, and ive been mentioning this so often but like if someone you thought was your friend and they had an Alter ego that avoided you wouldnt you be hurt?

I feel like im shitting on Jekyll a lot, and I don’t mean to because I like Jekyll!! Dont get me wrong!!! But you have to admit that it is his fault, he’s not always the victim, its the people around him who’s being affected by his actions. It was Jekyll’s choice to continue to drink the potion, it was Jekyll’s choice not to tell Lanyon, there was no outside force making him do this.

And you can’t say that Hyde was making him continue to drink the potion because for 1; i doubt that in the beginning Hyde would be able to bother him that much only starting out, im sure it was another thing that developed over time with the potions use and 2; as we saw Jekyll could’ve thrown away those potions on his own terms at any time, he didn’t have to make more.

I just wanted to make this known because i feel like it needs to, do i like Jekyll? Yes. Do i feel bad for him? Yes. Do i think he’s the victim in the situation? No, because of the reasons above. But really, I don’t hate Jekyll, and its not like its always his fault, no, but in this situation it was his actions that lead to this.

I got really sidetracked so heres some of the other images i saved because this is getting really long.

Them both crying Makes this so much worse like, these two almost never show their emotions around people, and now in front of everyone they are about to breakdown, it just makes my chest tight, God dammit Sage this Chapter was painful

[hellonerf]

for the stupid ass ship chart you did with caname,, if you dont mind can you elaborate on the complicated part in the zero game-insane game slider?

sorry anon i just saw this 😭 my thought process is that, both of them have their charms but still end up lonely.

for ame, he's a charming guy. like he has charm i have to put that. but he also canonically doesn't have a lot of friends. his "charm" is pretty surface-level or shallow imo... he's interesting to an extent, but everyone can subconsciously tell he lies a lot. he knows what to say to get certain reactions from people but in the world of intimate relations and attraction it kinda just makes him more of a fling to people. he's emotionally inept. also that whole thing about him and romance blablabla he's only reaaally charming if you like a certain type in the obsessive way that anything he does becomes cute/endearing rather than annoying.

for cana, in canon he has more friends(or natural charm here) than ame!(funny and makes me laugh😊) so, he's friendly and nice in more than a surface-level entertaining way. i imagine he can actually hold conversations better one-on-one, which could push closeness with someone even more.(i don't think he does so well in group talks, but that could add an endearment here, ohh look how special you are...). i think he has an okay chance of like. forming actual bonds with people. he's less neurotic about his self image so it can be more natural relationship blooming.(also why i think he has more experience with that than ame). But i think he's still weird. i don't think he's actually used to other people sometimes. i think he has bouts where he forgets or even just really doesn't feel like talking to people. disappears for periods of time. there's times i think he prefers being by himself more than anything. being close with people like relationships can be tedious, like maintenance, there's like work to do to get closer to people and stay close with people, and i think sometimes he just doesn't feel like keeping up with it. but after a while of being alone it kinda makes him more reclused than ever🤷‍♂️ and then he's not in track with how to talk/react/act with people. furthers introversion. at that point it's even more work to talk to others. also i think he has at some sort of fear about other's perception of him. soo insane game but zero game

[mysillytdsideblog]

Hello! I am in the middle of a td hyperfixation, and my brain has chosen Mike and his system as The Precious, so I was super happy to see a blog producing content for my beloved. For a question, because I'd like to see another hc/idea, what do you think happened that landed their system in juvie?

Sorry if you've already discussed this somewhere!!

I think Mal was the host during this time, I think he wanted to be in juvie a bit just to get away from his parents but was mad that he couldn’t do whatever he wanted to do.

Mal got them landed in juvie in the first place. He was a very reckless petty criminal but got away with most bc he was good at manipulation, which he learned from trying to survive his abusive parents.

Then, one day Vito got into a pretty public fight with someone, Mal came out and resisted arrest too. Both Mal and Vito acted very rude in probation and broke the rules of it a lot. Mal leaning more towards petty theft and Vito towards picking fights. Obviously they found out, and he got sent to juvie.

They didn’t know they were a system before they had a court ordered psychiatrist visit them in juvie on account of staff noticing he has a “possible trauma disorder” because he was having PTSD episodes and switching a lot (it wasn’t as obvious, but his opinions and reactions kept rapidly changing).

I think Mike was scared out of his MIND!!!! He didn’t want to be there at all. He didn’t even feel like he deserved to be in there because he was following rules and doing what he needed to do, he didn’t know about Mal and Vito breaking rules at that time but once he found out he was even more confused and scared that he was having these blackouts. He thought he was secretly evil or something.

Mike actually fronted a lot in juvie. Mal used this to his advantage to gain people’s trust to get closer to them.

Mike doesn’t like the fact he was ever in juvie. He keeps it as a secret because he’s extremely conscious about his image. He feels like his mental problems and family issues are enough to drive people away, he doesn’t need more of a reason for people to leave him.

Manitoba wasn’t created yet, Chester was aware of everything and he complained about it all the time, and Svetlana was too scared to front.

Vito was annoyed to be in Juvie but he was very social in it, which was a good and bad thing. He met a lot of people he got along with, and a lot he didn’t. And Vito has a problem with anger and fighting, which got them a lot longer of a stay. He made quite a lot of friends despite that, none of which he ever saw again.

Mal wasn’t keen on making friends, he preferred to get to know people only so he could use them to do his bidding, get him things, and make living there easier for him. He used people for money a lot and stole from his “friends”. But he always kept buddy-buddy with them out of obligation.

He did find tormenting those who already didn’t like them fun. He had a lot of pent up aggression from dealing with abuse, and took it out on those around him. He would do just horrible shit that would intimidate anyone from messing w/ him.

Duncan was SCARED of him. He totally didn’t cross his path unless approached, which he was only really asked for money and supplies which he always gave them.

Mal was sooooo theatrical. Obviously, his signature whistle that he would do walking down the hall. He also did it when he was about to confront someone, so thats how people would know shit was about to go down.

People stayed away from Mike a lot because they knew what would happen if they didn’t. Mike was very lonely and he didn’t like Vito’s friends at all so he would try to avoid them. He just assumed they wanted something from him, he didn’t know they were already established friends with him.

A lot of people think Mal lost a tooth in a fistfight, but honestly I see it more as his parents never giving him dental care. (Image of baby eating sand with the caption I let him eat sand because I dont like him)

His parents called him in juvie, mostly to yell at him for being such a bad child and “ruining their family”. Mal didn’t let this bother him, but Mike took it hard and hated himself.

Mal never wanted to leave juvie, it was like a vacation from abuse. At Vito’s age the abuse towards him had already stopped but he was glad he didn’t have to see his abuser(s) on a regular basis.

When they were forced to get therapy, Mal told everything he knew in order to hopefully bring his parents to justice, but he only got a diagnosis out of it.

[poppinlovemp4]

what are your thoughts on each nct member

im crying there are 22 of you here thats fewer people than nct. who's sending me this. anyway im bored so ill answer... really long obviously there are so many guys

i dont have any thoughts on the wish members ive never streamed idk any of their names and i'll keep it that way bless their hearts. or not idk

jisung: idgaffff his dancing is overhyped and he's charmless to me and i hate deepvoice rappers forever

chenle: probably nicest voice in dream but that's a really low bar. dont really have other thoughts. i've heard he cares a lot about basketball which can either be charming or offputting i dont know enough about him to say

yangyang: thats OOMF top 3 in ncity to me <3 i really did not care about him all when i was first entering weishenville sorry for my anti-kpop rapper bias but he's soooo fun to watch onstage. imo the only one other than ten obviously who's got a good handle on #It. and he has the cutest smile ever probably. and i like him :-)

jaemin: idgaf i literally cannot think of a single thing to say here

haechan: seems like an unsavoury bloke from what i've seen of his scandals and i hate his voice so so so badly like when i first listened to 127 on purpose i had to pause and look up a lyric video to see whose voice i hated so much. good performer though

jeno: least fave nct member and i dont like many of them. disband

renjun: hope he's feeling better these days. no further thoughts

hendery: thats OOMF but kind of less than the rest of wayv sorry.. he's like one of the only idols ever i think is genuinely funny the way he speaks and acts is so 😭 i really dont know how he comes up with any of it. was sincerely baffled when i found out he wasnt wasian

xiaojun: he's all right

mark: ive literally never been impressed by any performance ive seen from him idk WHERE people get the all rounder genius idol thing from it's not showing #ToMe!!! the originator of many fave reaction images though so he's okay in my book

jungwoo: idgaf. wait no back when djj was announced people kept comparing him to xiumin in cbx to justify his place there (as in 2 main vocals / guy who isn't a main vocal) and he is not xiumin he could never dream of having my beautiful sister's charisma uniqueness nerve or talent! other than that idgaf

winwin: saw the news today hope he heals all righttt and it's nothing too serious... as an idol he brings nothing to the table except cuteness and that's not very important to me so i hope his career in cn thrives bless

jaehyun: tbh when nct first debuted i hated him so badly for literally no reason like his face just made me so mad. and look at us now <3 he is my entire 127 tag. i liked his debut so i'll continue following his solo career and he's also funny to me but i can't say that without feeling like jaehyun tote bag tweet

ten: thats OOMF another top 3 member <3 he's EVERYTHINGGGG imo the only nct member who's like absolutely a star & built to be a soloist.. i cannot wait for his second albummm i love his vision he is so so so so insanely talented it boggles the mind. and also so cool... i rarely think idols are cool but he is so cool

doyoung: he's a crazy ass hater with an evil spirit but i kind of fuck with it idk if i had to pick a second fave 127 member it would probably be him he's funny to watch. i streamed from little wave a few times also

kun: thats OOMF every time he's mentioned that he was the one who pushed for a certain song/production choice (new ride being in gmt, the strings at the end of omy) it's been one of my favourite parts of whatever the final product is so i really appreciate that. ten's kinda right about him he's so old but it's really charming to me

yuta: idrgaf. i thought his solo debut was interesting ill be giving his future stuff exactly one stream and perhaps more if the execution improves

taeyong: i think it's so funny how everyone buys the cutesy act he started going hard on immediately after his bullying scandal came out😭 loved his work on baby don't stop & call d. hated his work on everything else. every time his verse on rv's cover of be natural comes on i take a moment to curse him out

johnny: from chicago and yet so deeply charmless he gives this beautiful city a bad name. disband

[night-dark-woods]

I want to start adding text descriptions to stuff i reblog, do you have any advice? is there a guide or something you use, the style of your IDs is very nice.

hey! thats great that you want to start writing IDs. I've reblogged guides before and ill tag this post with the tag they're in (image descriptions) so its easy to browse!

in addition to those other resources, here's some guidelines i personally keep in mind, & what i structure different IDs like.

for text transcripts: source & type of image, author, date if possible. here are some pretend/template IDs:

ID. a twitter screenshot from user @.[username] dated [date] that reads: "[tweet]." End ID.

i put the period after the @ symbol so it doesnt try to tag a nonexistent (or unrelated) user on this site, and a screenreader will just pause there briefly.

ID. a photo of a page from the book [name] by [author]. text reads: [transcript]. End ID.

if the OP cited the author/book/source, you can just do "Transcript: [text]. End transcript."

for actual images:

type of image is really important!

photograph, edited photograph, reaction image, edited reaction image, painting, digital painting, digital drawing, etc. you should always put what kind of image it is.

keep in mind the purpose of the image!

if its an art piece or a photo of one, its good to describe the medium, style, colors, and subject.

if it's a reaction image or other meme, you don't have to describe the surroundings in loving detail. the "point" of the image is enough.

if its a photograph, it might also be an art piece, or from the news, or someone sharing their pet. the amount and kind of detail again depends on the point of the image.

don't make judgements or assumptions!

dont describe things as badly drawn or badly photographed- and on the flip side, dont describe things as cute or beautiful. describe whats in the image, not how it makes you feel. if you love a certain part of how a photograph is framed, or how the light is painted in a piece of art, say that specifically. "beautiful" means nothing! do you mean realistic? vibrantly colored? "cute" means nothing! do you mean in a cartoony style? or that the subject matter is a cat, which many people find cute? be specific!

dont make statements about the gender or race of the people in the photo or art piece, especially if it's real people (like a news photo) unless you know those things as a fact (celebrities, fictional characters, people you know personally, people where it is mentioned in the article the photo is from). you can just describe things like hair length, skin tone, etc. exceptions to this rule imo are stock photos- eg if im captioning my favorite stock photo of all time, cyber woman with corn, i am going to describe it as "a stock photo of a white woman in a futuristic silver and black wraparound visor, wearing a silver bodysuit and cradling an ear of corn near her face and smiling slightly."

here are some example descriptions, all from images i have on my phone.

ID. a photo of two cats laying head to head on someones outstretched legs, which are under a blanket. one cat is an orange tabby, and the other is a gray and white splotched tabby. End ID.

the point of this image is my cats- im not going to spend time describing the blanket, the couch, the stuff you can see in the background, bc it's not relevant to the image, and adds nothing.

ID. a photo taken through a rainy window at twilight, with the camera focused on the raindrops on the glass, so the lights in the houses across the street are out of focus. the lights reflect on the wet pavement in a warm yellow glow. End ID.

i took this the other night bc i thought it looked cool how blurry it was- id consider this more of an "art" photo, so im describing the aspects of the framing etc that make it that- i wasnt just trying to show how rainy it was, but to take a photo in an interesting way, so those traits are "worth" describing.

ID. a photo of an acrylic painting done on a cardboard packing envelope of a city street at sunset, all the building windows reflecting gold. there are purple fluffy clouds in the sky, lit from below with peach and gold. the USPS tracking number barcode is still visible in the gap between houses at the end of the street. the brush strokes are very visible, the perspective is wonky, and the orange underpainting is visible at the edges. End ID.

this is a new ID for something i painted and already posted and i dont feel like getting the old ID. medium, style, and specific details i think are important are included. the perspective being wonky is a bit of a value judgement i wouldn't make about Other people's art, but it's my own and i think its an important detail so!

ID. an edited catcrumb comic, showing a simple mspaint illustration of a cat happily sorting things into piles with the caption, "sort sort. i love to arbitrarily sort." the cat has been colored in gray and its ears have been colored like homestuck troll horns, and the sorting piles replaced with some classpect symbols. End ID.

this is a good example of a edited image- its important to give (to some degree) a sense of what the original image was, say that its edited, and describe the changes. i dont need to list the classpect symbols i put on there, bc its not relevant to the message of the image- it would do nothing but make the ID longer.

oh- and to cap off the post- here is cyber woman with corn:

ID. a stock photo of a white woman in a futuristic silver and black wraparound visor, wearing a silver bodysuit and cradling an ear of corn near her face and smiling slightly. End ID.

[sasheliv]

Do the kids in 13c future AU know what their parents are? Like, do they know about the magic cards and the story of how Fedor made he clones? Are the kids magical too? If yes, in what way? Also, also, what is everyone's relationship with Fedor in this AU? I'm assuming they dont wiew him as much of a parent since that could have... (Sweet home Alabama starts playing in the background.../j) Some questionable implications in regards to the present ships...

Anyways, I'm interested to see what you cook up with this AU.

I still have questions but I'll keep some for later...

Oh boy, here we go.

Almost all kids know about what they are excluding Romeo's small daughter and Felix's little twins. The reason they know from such young age is because some of them were bullied because of weird eye color or unique hair that lead to them questioning about what's wrong with them. So, clones had to sit down and have a talk with them about their origin. How did kids react? Well, some of them stopped being insecure about themselves because of: "wow!! I'm the kid of some magical creature, ain't that cool?!" Some others were worried about what if people find out and make them lab rats or something but overall the reaction was pure confusion because well they are kids. They still learn to live with information that they're not in fact normal humans. And yeah, they do know the whole story with Fedor too.

Now, about the magic.

Now, if we go by this old picture Fedor made back in 2015, only Joker, Spade and Cleo have magic. I don't know if it still canon but I'm using it anyway.

Spade's magic comes from his key he has on his card and in Land of Kings. In the au, he transformed his key into a small one and keeps it hidden because he doesn't want his son to find it and accidentally harm himself or others. And Cleo can read minds and it's sort of transfered to both of her kids: Diane can communicate with people with their thoughts and Kai can sense when someone is lying.

Now we also have this image from the series in which clones appear to have some elemental powers(still trying to understand what Waru is) Now do kids have powers too? I'm thinking.. Maybe. But those who have human parent are weaker in terms of magic because they are technically half-humans, so yeah. They do have magical powers but they're buried deep within.

And Fedor. He moved away when he graduated and lives in another city with his own family but he still keeps in touch with clones. They're not as close as they used to be but all of them still care about each other. Kids view him as an uncle they see once in five years but they like watching his youtube channel and read comics he made(his future was based on his real life counterpart such as Fedor having his youtube channel, having studio and producing comics) Sometimes he misses the chaos he went through when he was younger and lived with them. So yeah, their relationship is okay and full of nostalgia.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Current WIPs/Current Ideas/Random Update

So there's a lot going on in my brain right now and I dont want to be the asshole who posts a poll after every single time I post a fic, but it has worked for me thus far. And if you know me - I have always had more fic ideas than I have had the ability to make decisions. Even before Tumblr got polls, I used to post polls all the time to help decide my next fic. It works well for me

However, I am conflicted about doing another poll because of the inherent bias of the Criminal Minds fandom.

90% of you guys are Spencer lovers, and if I put an Emily fic on the poll, I feel like it will get outvoted no matter what. But I could also be wrong about that - people could be thirsting for an Emily fic because she is lacking attention and vote it up for that reason. But I just hate the idea of people picking based on the character and not their interest in the concept/what would be written about that character

That being said, here's what we're working with:

I am actively working on the Dad Spencer fic (Dirty Laundry - I am slightly tempted to change the title? Idk). I have the beginning finished, and I would say I am about 20% done overall, which is good considering that it's going to be a longer fic. But I really want to work on something else while I am working on it

I love working on shorter smut fics while working on a long emotional fic

And here are my ideas for that:

A Spencelle x (Fem)Reader smut. (I usually default to Fem reader, but if more people want to see a GN reader fic, then I would definitely do that too.) - I had so much fun writing The Perfect Brat and I fucking love the Spenelle dynamic - I feel like it's absolutely something that I need to revisit again. I have a mental image of Spencer tied to a chair with Elle and the reader taunting him and I feel like I need to bring it to life.

The Spencer Cane Smut that was mentioned in the last poll. I compared this to my Abby fic Love From The Other Side (aka the Golf Club fic) - where Abby fucks the reader's pussy with the golf club that she used to kill Joel. Because this fic would be Spencer fucking the reader with his cane. Because the idea wormed into my brain and I need to get it out at some point 😂

I would also love to write more smut for Emily or JJ (maybe both at the same time 👀 Jemily x reader would be so iconic). I do have some drafts for them, which I could post summaries of so people could pick based on those? Idk.

My only issue with putting these ideas into a poll is that Spencer is a grossly popular character, and I feel like putting anything with him in a poll automatically skews the results. And while I love writing for him, I would like the chance to write for some of the other characters who don't get as much attention in fanfiction. So idk what to do

I am also heavily considering opening general requests for shorter things like headcanons/MLTs/reactions. But idk

[theprinceandthewitch]

I still... do not understand how sibling truthers will literally watch TTT and think Caleb/Evelyn isn't Lunter propaganda...

Like barring the literal mirroring of Hunter and Caleb at the beginning of the episode and the Tale of the brother's Wittebane showing you who's supposed to represent the brothers using an animation from Hollow Mind... The tale foreshadowed Luz dying by Philip's hand:

"Philip set off to save his brother and bring the witch to justice."

With this image overlaying the dialogue

This is not the only example of Luz being foreshadowed to die by Philips hand. In TTT, Luz is foreshadowed to die 3 times, here they are in order.

1.) During Camila's dream, Luz kills herself with a dagger - a weapon that's associated exclusively with Philip.

2.) When Hunter and Luz are in the basement of Caleb's house, we see this image of their shadows

Which tells us, point blank, Philip is going to kill Luz

3.) The final piece of foreshadowing is during the Tale of The Brother's Wittebane, which I've already shown you earlier with the dialogue and the image... but ill also put it here so you dont have to scroll up to see it

"Philip set off to save his brother and bring the witch to justice."

Like I legit don't know how people can miss this when it's right infront of their faces. No one else in the show besides Luz shares traits with Evelyn... so who the FUCK do you think the writers are talking about when they made Masha say "Philip set off to save his brother and bring the witch to justice."

Like... oh my god... 

And dont even get me started on the framing during the carriage ride - how it literally only showed Hunter's and Luz's reactions to the tale AND did this unsubtle shit:

LIKE LMAO??? Hunter is cosplaying as a human character and Luz is cosplaying as a witch character... as they are listening to a story about how Philip's brother was lured away to another world by a witch. You literally cannot make this shit up. This isn't a reach either - it's right there for you to see.

It's honestly so embarrassing when people bring up Luz looking like Philip in King's Tide as proof she's supposed to be Philip... The only reason why she looks like Philip is because she thinks she's just as bad as him. That was what they were trying to convey to the audience in that episode. Which is why you were never supposed to take that "parallel" seriously - as this "parallel" is based on Luz's fears and insecurities.

Also, I can't believe people are bringing up Luz "hugging" Hunter while hes possessed as PROOF she's supposed to be Philip because it looks kind of similar to the painting of Caleb hugging Philip... Luz is LITERALLY DRESSED AS A WITCH and they're using that as proof for Luz being Philip... just think about how dumb that is for a second, especially when you take into account this "hug" comes after the Tale of The Brother's Wittebane...

The show LITERALLY tells you Luz is supposed to be Evelyn and not Philip. She is the witch Philip is trying to bring to justice. [Also ya know.... Luz has been training to become a witch for THE ENTIRE SERIES. So why would she be paralled to the literal witch hunter and not the witch... make it make sense.]

This is why when Philip kills Luz - she is dressed as a witch. This is why when Luz literally and metaphorically steps into her power to defeat Philip, she is still A WITCH... like Jesus Christ... This shit doesnt require a literature degree to understand lmaooo.

[twsthc]

TWST GENDER AND SEXUALITY HCS

thanks again for submitting stuff on twitter! i tried to include everyones hcs somehow but also keep it true to my own hcs. again this took forever so sorry for any writing/grammar inconsistencies

⚠️ warnings: i typed the word "transmascpilled" with a straight face, light chapter 3 spoilers!!

last updated: oct 6, 2023

HEARTSLABYUL 🥀

Riddle: Unlabled Questioning Asexual, Transfem (she/any)

because of her parents i think her identity was the last thing on her mind

after going to nrc they found out about... expression?! crazy i know

started to cautiously experiment with his identity, but isnt very open about it and is still figuring himself out.

Ace: Cupioromantic Bisexual, Cisgender (he/him)

is always getting "crushes" on people (he cant tell the difference between platonic and romantic love)

after pining for someone for like a week he gets a little "OHHH" moment

asked cater about it, got laughed at, and was directed to the lgbt wiki

despite this he can feel romantic attraction! he just feels very little. is deuce's qpp/possible romantic partner

Deuce: Pansexual, Gender curious (he/him)

hasnt really thought about his identity much but after some research (an Am I Gay Quiz) he realized he was pansexual

still figuring out his gender

type of fellow to say "HIS PRONOUNS ARE THEY THEM" /j

Cater: Queer, Transmasc NB Genderqueer (he/they/any)

@/heartslabyulian on twt explained it better than me but the resistance against his mom and sisters about "being like them" (feminine) is so transmascpilled

also i think theyre just having fun expressing themself like who cares? wear a skirt, dont bind, grow out and dye your hair, use fem terms, literally just go crazy

Trey: Cisgender Bisexual (he/him)

male/nb preference

pretty confident in his identity but isnt opposed to experimentation

SAVANACLAW 🥩

Leona: Unlabled, Intersex GNC Transfemneu (she/him)

lions are one of natures queerest animals

i think he wouldnt care too much about gender presentation

i was inspired by that gay lion in kenya (as well as the real lion king) and have come to the conclusion that leona kingscholar is bisexual (bangs gavel)

Ruggie: Pansexual, Agender/GNC Transfem (he/she/they)

read a fanfiction where ruggie used she/her and i havent been the same

expresses herself how she wants but doesnt really align with any gender

im conflicted if he would be agender or nonbinary SIGH

Jack: Panromantic Asexual, Gender curious (he/him)

still figuring out his gender just give him a minute

sex repulsed ace, hes really uncomfortable w the topic and thought of sex

all he knows is he likes boys alright

OCTAVINELLE 🐚

Azul: Bisexual, Intersex Transfem (she/he)

i think one of the reasons azul wanted us to get that picture from the museum so bad is not only cos hes self consious of his younger self but because he looked "more masculine" and he just really hated it

me when im in a depressed and self conscious competition and my opponent is azul ashengrotto [insert enel one piece shocked face reaction image]

Floyd: Unlabled, Genderfluid (he/any)

doesnt care for labels he just wants to have fun in the sun!!!

type of guy to go "im a boy but a girl but a Man but a pretty princess but also a mud eating warrior but also--"

just like me fr

Jade: Aromantic Asexual, Agender (they/he)

fucking battery

look i get its probably stereotypical to hc the typically "stoic" guy to be triple A but just hear me out: i dont care (also jade isnt even stoic he is such a silly guy!!)

its MY headcanon account and EYE get to choose which anime boy i project on

SCARABIA 🌞

Kalim: Lesbian, Transfem Genderfluid (she/he)

she has lesbian eyebrows okay?

always sliding around from fem to masc, his outfits often reflect how hes feeling

blink and she switches from ultra pink miniskirt sparkly frilly femme girly teengirl into a baggy pants oversized band shirt beanie wearing 7/11 mountain dew big gulp drinking Creature. seriously iconic

Jamil: Bisexual, Nonbinary (they/he)

they dont have time to worry about their identity

he has BILLS to PAY

but seriously they never got the time to do any self reflection when they were younger and after their OB they were able to fully come to terms with and explore their identity

POMEFIORE 👑

Vil: Queer Polyamorous, Genderqueer Transfem (she/her)

said this already on twitter but she/her vil is so real

figured herself out even before NRC

i dont have much to say about pomefiore as a whole tbh like theyre just Gay it just makes sense?

Rook: Pansexual Polyamorous, Agender (they/them)

this is the one hc i will never ever budge on

i cant explain myself. rook is just agender okay.

the panpoly bit is because he sees beauty in everyone and wants to share beauty with everyone (and he wants potential romantic partners to share beauty with each other as well)

Epel: Gay, Trans man (he/him)

also took an Am I Gay Quiz

asked vil about her identity and for advice on finding himself and stuff

he came out to leona as trans during practice and leona was like "okay? me too? now do 30 pull ups?" and epel was so happy

IGNIHYDE 💀

Idia: Bisexual, Nonbinary (he/they/xe/it ++)

i think lilia canonically uses he/they pronouns for gloomurai. im not fact checking this i will just saw someone on twt say it once and choose to believe

probably found out he was bi after playing an otome game

list of neos: xe/it/exe/cy/vi/byte/if/gore

Ortho: Experimenting (he/it/neos)

someone on twitter said ortho was that ""cringe"" baby queer who is constantly changing his identity and trying out different pronouns

and it reminded me of myself when i was 12 and named myself ""moth"" 😭 so its canon now

idia is supportive and uses his heaps of money to buy new pride flags/pins for whenever ortho comes to a new conclusion

DIASOMNIA 🐉

Malleus: Pansexual, Agender (any pronouns)

doesnt care about gender constructs, but in a way thats like "human gender doesnt make any sense so you can perceive me any way you want and it literally will not matter i dont care"

didnt even realize that going by different pronouns and wearing fem clothes was considered to be out of the norm until being introduced to human society

Lilia: Unlabeled, Agender (no pronouns)

again for fae gender isnt a construct as much as it is for human societies

id imagine lilia doesnt really mind using he/him pronouns after learning about those constructs but really doesnt care for them

Silver: Lesbian, Nonbinary (he/him)

when lilia took silver in, lilia didnt want to get too close to him, so lilia just used he/him on silver as a bitter reminder that silver isnt fae (contrary to raising silver without pronouns like he would typically for a fae child like malleus)

but then lilia got attached anyway LOL but the he/him stuck

kalim and silver are nonbinary lesbians in love

Sebek: Questioning, Questioning Nonbinary (he/him...?)

hes like "STUPID HUMANS AND THEIR GENDER" but at the same time is secretly questioning if its okay to use she/her pronouns, wear a wig, and put on makeup

because his dad is a human he got pronouns and grasped the concept of human gender constructs but was also able to experience his moms side of not caring about it

[different---perspective]

women's clothing and ra*pe

The main sterotype among toxic males and some mature by look females claim that ra*pe happens due to the dress that victim has worn , is that so ? , there are many different ways you can view it . when we look at the sterotype of the old society , they say its coz the victim's clothing was arousing . when you look at it , it may be true , the dress they wear look good on them , so some men gets some sort of feelings (dont get me wrong) , so is it really because of the dress , it can be and not be , it varies depending on the individuals pov . in one pov we can say that the victim's dress was indeed the reason for the ra*pe , but is it really is ? or is it due men's cant control themself and their mind , when you look at it in that pov , its damn true . in this generation , mens cant even control themself and their desires . most mens are becoming a beast day by day and thus cant even control their mind and them . how is it happening ? think about it . so let me mention some of the main reasons and details. first one is especially social media's , you may hate me due to this claim , but let me make it clear . from the older days when there where no social medias and proper internet connection , mens used to spent time with real women and their family more than most people do now . so in that time , mens knew women more and respected them more than they do now , the social media's wrong side has even bring kids and adults to a pov that disrespecting women is some sort of superiority , the sigma and sort of stuffs . nowadays kids cant even respect adults not even their own parents . so the socia media has sexualis*ed women by many vulgar short form contents , even though we know watching this is bad we still watch it , why ? the answer is dopamine , humans brain produce dopamine , it helps us to be motivated and focused , but this useful dopamine is developed for the wrong things like social media and po*rn . so the social media's changing modern men's mind but making them see women as some sexu*al objects and not as equal humans like them with basic human emotions . the next thing is po*rn , the adult entertainment industry , it keeps ruining the younger generation by giving them fake expectations and fake body image and body expectations , also make's ever womens seem as some sexua*l objects . this way most mens and younger generations mind is filled with lust and desires on ever women they see . So they are tempted to this rap* even if womens are covered , what i mean is , the dress doesnt matter , womens wearing hijabi's , churidars , completely covering dresses are all getting rap*ed . also we all say our daughters to be careful around male friends and strangers , but do we actually spent time on teaching our son's the importance of respecting women and the way they should view them . also age doesnt matters too , its getting out of hand . i saw a news one day that a 30 year old man in gujarat ra*ped a 10 month old female child , whats wrong with these peoples . change your lust men's , let the sister's live in peace . connect with real people , have friends with opposite genders , know them more , what i mean is know their feelings , their emotions , thats how to connect with them . develop feelings with real humans than with having crush over some pixelated women on your small phone screen . also last week i read a news about a boy ra*ped a old women around 60s to 70s , i dont remember the age of her . also , i read another news about a boy got rap*ed by a women , so that means men too are not safe anymore , as newton's third law states , every action has an equal and opposite reaction .

[clairehadenough]

captregina is clearly unwell. she lies ALL THE TIME and get caught. she has unhinged behavior like : harassed on ig the comic podcast guy who say he saw chris and ab in a bar and share the picture he took (he posted screenshots in his ig story of the messages captregina was sending him)  \\\  the 23k scaming to get chris out of his pr contract were she said something like  "if you are a fan give money or it will be your fault if chris kill himself"   \\\  every week "the bua is coming", since before the premiere of ghosted she's been saying that  \\\   there was NEVER any wedding because chris hasnt say ab's name and he said "kind of 2 ceremonies" (apparently saying "kind of" means he isnt married)  and so much more.

her theories always get easily debunk because they dont have ANY merits. it's one bizarre theory after the other and each new one more outrageous than the last.

i believe at this point in the mind of captregina what she said are not theories,  she's convince it's the truth. she's the only who knows it all, she's gonna show us and teach us how all things chris evans works. so far gone in her delusion that she close her ask because she doesnt want anyone to challenge what she says. to challenge her would be to threaten the pr fantasy that became her reality. it's make her unhinged,  see how often she viciously respond in the comment of the asks anon send to the other pr blog.

i dont think anyone can say anything to her. we can keep pointing her lies and debunk all the theories she comes up with, we can laugh at her, we can mock her...it's too late for her she is LOCK in her pr fantasy and she will become like those who believe benedict cumberbatch is in a pr marriage and his kids are dolls, that's her future.

https://www.simplyneuroscience.org/post/getting-real-with-parasocial-relationships

(the site where i took the image)

She’s really too far gone. And I agree re the way she replies to anons. It’s not just about being rude. It’s the out of proportion anger and big reaction to harmless asks. It’s worrying. And this blog- and I’m sure the others too- was definitely NOT created to make her come back to the light 😂. We don’t care. We care about those who still have a brain to use. Of course there aren’t many left but every now and then I still get people in my asks telling me that they used to believe her but after a while they realised the madness and took a step back.

[the-kipsabian]

grief, death, funerals, a hint of selfharm, what have you. your triggers, if you will

in a really weird way, all this feels just performative to me now. ive cried today so much i feel strangely numb to it all, but at the same time i still have so much left bubbling inside of me that its hard to find a proper reaction or words for it

saying goodbye to someone youve known all your life, no matter how much or how little, is. still so hard. i havent done this in over ten years. its weird. but its difficult. trying to converse with people with happy memories when yours are so mudded when you havent seen them in a few years due to both personal reasons and a global pandemic forcing you apart from the compromised. when the last thing you remember them telling you is that you shouldnt complain about breakfast foods and asking why you are going to spend the night enjoying an activity thats not typically seen as a "girls thing" in an almost mocking manner, it paints a very distorted image in your mind about how you feel, and how you should feel. it makes things feel so odd, but you cant say anything about it, because this isnt the time to talk about memories you have but dont want to keep. youre supposed to fondly remember the ones we lost and celebrate what they gave us that we can still keep using in this life we have left

i. havent been grieving very well, if im being honest. not only does losing two people in a very short amount of time mess me up even more, but i feel like ive been so selfish in the memories i hold dear and the images i keep in my mind to remember these people by. i know its how i feel and its valid, but seeing everyone else grief with positivity just.. makes me feel. weird. odd. out of place. like im doing it wrong and i dont know how to fix it

i have felt selfish more than anything. i see people around me grieving terribly for these people and while i cant relate, it eats me up inside thinking that i could be causing people this kind of pain and suffering by wanting to die. i know its not right, i.. i dont want people to feel this way if i want to finally feel better one day and see no other choice. it makes me feel selfish that i think i could feel better by making it worse for everyone else. i know this current grief isnt about me, but it has made me think about it a lot. i dont know what i feel. i dont know how i want to live, if i want to live and for how long. but i feel like i have no other option but to go on. and its selfish of me to think that i have to do it. for other people and their feelings, but not for myself. cause i havent found that thing that actively makes me want to keep going. i know it makes no sense but it feels bad. it hurts. everything hurts

you should be able to tell people you love them while they are still here. not whispering it through tears while you set flowers down on a pile of dirt that now homes them. it shouldnt be like that. i dont know how it makes me feel. i. i dont even in the end know how much i really did love them. i mean i did. i think. but its hard to feel like i did. ive been so numb for so long and not tried to mend anything in the past few years and now i cant

i dont know how to feel about anything. i dont think i can feel anything

i just wish it didnt hurt