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luvth0t · 3 years

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DEVIL’S ADVOCATE ━ M.V

in which max isn’t happy you were alongside lewis instead of him after the events of monza.

warnings; toxic max kinda but not really? possessive max, oral sex, degrading, choking, spanking, face fucking, thigh riding, orgasm denial iDK ITS ROUGH SMUT, it’s unedited cause i’m lazy

you loved your job, more than anything. it had brought you countless opportunities, friends, experiences. being lewis hamilton’s pr manager would seem daunting to most, but it was much easier than dealing with the younger drivers.

lewis knew how to handle himself, you weren’t glued to his side every press conference or prepping him before every interview. obviously there were instances where you would, if anything had happened or if there was a major talking point. but he was an experienced driver and knew how to tackle most situations.

that didn’t mean you got to slack off, but you enjoyed the privileges of the job for sure. you’d be stupid not to with all the travel and time away from home that comes with it.

you had met so many people, made so many friends. lewis being one of them; rumours flew of some sort of romance between the two of you a couple of summers ago but you were both quick to shut those down. you saw him as a close friend, as he did you. not speaking much during the off season yet there was a level of trust there.

another perk of the job was meeting him.

max verstappen, lewis’s latest rival; the dutch driver who you coincidentally happened to have wrapped around your finger.

it all started one night in monaco; a few days after the race you had stuck around to experience the luxurious city. a drunken night at a club resulted in you ending up in the drivers bed.

while you knew who he was, obviously, he had not recognised your face. too drunk to ask about your profession, and you too drunk to tell him; it would be an understatement to say you were freaking out when you woke up to hickeys covering your body and him beside you.

it wasn’t the fact he was literally the face of your bosses biggest rival, it was the fear of him seeing you in the paddock and recognising you.

which happened only a few weeks later, in hungary. he thought he was hallucinating when he spotted your face outside the mercedes garage, the girl who had quite literally blown his mind all those nights ago.

while he had hoped to see you again, he thought it was an off chance and the possibility of it was slim to none in his eyes. yet there you were, dressed in black and teal speaking with toto in what appeared to be a casual conversation.

he was shocked to say the least, and when your eyes met his you were ready for him to accuse you of stalking him maybe? avoidance? you didn’t know what to expect, maybe he wouldn’t even remember you? who knows how many girls he sleeps with.

how that day actually ended was you on your knees in his motor home, your mercedes shirt tossed aside and on the floor alongside any loyalty.

since then it’s been a whirlwind of sneaking around, sleeping together and enjoying each other’s company. you weren’t dating, it was more of a friends with benefits situation. but the benefits seemed to have grown over the past few months compared to when it was just sex when this all started a year ago.

with it came challenges, especially with the on track battle between lewis and max heating up. it was definitely noticed your worry for the redbull driver during the silverstone incident, and your conflicting emotions when lewis won compared to others.

while you were more than happy that he had gotten the points and won his home race, you found yourself prioritising being able to see max for yourself after his crash. which wasn’t possible until your work was done.

since then things had eased up, the summer break certainly helping. but then came monza. the pair having crashed again and you were once again left with conflicting emotions.

worried sick for lewis like everyone else was in the garage, you hadn’t left his side the remainder of the afternoon and evening. not only did this mean a busy week work wise with dealing with the press and the soon to come onslaught of questions, lewis was your close friends and you always wanted to make sure he was okay.

because of this, your sunday and monday night was spent with lewis and on your computer, instead of your usual routine of spending that time with max. finding time together was difficult yet easy.

max never thought he’d be able to grow attached to a girl considering how often he travelled, then he found you. who was in the same place as him every weekend. it meant seeing you was no issue, kind of.

the fact the weekends were in fact jam packed, for max more so; and that eyes were everywhere and the differing uniforms were more than just an eyebrow raiser, actually being able to spend quality alone time with you had to be arranged carefully.

overtime it had become quite clear the nights after races and the monday he had off was what worked for both of you, and it had become apart of each of your routines.

but not that weekend in monza, much to max’s dismay.

“haven’t forgotten about me, have you?” max’s voice became clear as he approached you, in the paddock with a coffee in your hand; leaning against the wall of one of the many buildings.

a small smile formed on your lips as he came into view; always happy to see a familiar face, especially his.

“how could i ever?” you replied with a playful scoff, straightening your posture up as you ran a hand through your hair.

now being in sochi, you hadn’t seen him since the italian grand prix. the week off you had gone home, meaning you were on your phone as little as possible and hadn’t made any contact. not that you needed to. it was quite clear the two of you only got together on race weekends, when it was convenient. it hadn’t branched out of this environment.

“missed you in monza, that’s all,” he shrugged with a small hum; his arms moving to cross over his chest. he was dressed in his race suit, it hanging off his hips lightly, his drink bottle in his right hand. practice was in just over an hour so you were pretty sure he had spotted you on the way to the redbull garage.

you pursed your lips when he mentioned monza, only then noticing his features were missing his usual smile; you hadn’t yet heard his laugh which always made an appearance in your presence, and his tone was not as soft as it usually is.

“yes, i don’t know if you heard but lewis was involved in a crash; meaning my workload piled up,” you spoke sarcastically; giving an explanation which you thought was obvious as to why you had to pull out on seeing him that night.

max still wasn’t amused however. from being on a great position on sunday, to crashing into lewis, getting a penalty, missing out on points; max was in a sour mood that night to say the least. seeing you with lewis of all people, giving him your sympathy and your care when you should be with him only angered him further.

he didn’t have an issue with your friendship with lewis, but when his emotions were running high and the only thing he wanted was you; the knowledge you were with him was a tough pill to swallow considering the circumstances.

“didn’t know all your work had to be done by his side,” max couldn’t help but mutter; his childish side coming out to play as he shrugged, eyebrows slightly raised. of course he was jealous. he wanted to be the one you were supporting. he wanted you to be there waiting for him and telling him that it’s just a race, that these things happen. instead you were saying all of that to the guy he crashed into.

you finally understood what was going on, and couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “you’re jealous?” you pointed out, simply speaking your thoughts. “max a tire ran over his head, i couldn’t leave him to deal with the questions and media preparations by himself; he was shaken up. plus he is my friend.” you chimed.

“so what if i am?” he huffed in response to your question about his jealousy, ignoring your rational explanation because he didn’t want to hear it. he wasn’t accusing you of anything, he was just playing the pity card because he didn’t get what he wanted that weekend. then lewis took the one thing that would’ve boosted his mood.

you looked up at him expectantly, waiting to see if he was actually serious; his expression not changing showed you he was, causing you to let out a small sigh. “then you’re stupid. because i was simply doing my job.” you hummed, bringing your coffee to your lips.

max face had now softened slightly, not completely however. he rolled his eyes when you called him stupid, but didn’t interject because he knew you were correct. but it’s not his fault he had grown so attached to you. your comfort was unbeatable and it turns out he needed it more than he thought.

“i wanted to see you.” he simplified his thoughts, his hand stuffing his drink bottle into his pocket; it hanging out the side and falling a few seconds later, but he didn’t care as his hands had found your hips, face leaning in closer to yours.

you bit down on your bottom lip when he noticeably moved closer to you, managing to remain eye contact. which was sometimes a struggle during intimate moments with him, well more so leading up because he got you flustered so quickly.

“you could’ve answered my text then,” you spoke; it being your turn to mention what you weren’t too pleased with him for the chaotic week.

you had texted him after the race, obviously. you wouldn’t just not check to see how he was. even though it was quite clear he was fine. he hadn’t responded, which didn’t matter much to you because you could only assume his messages would be full.

but if he wants to play the innocent card then you’d happily bring it up.

“a lot of people texted me schatje,” the brunette hummed in a matter of fact tone as his head dipped, his lips brushing against the skin of your neck lightly causing goosebumps to form on your skin.

you rolled your eyes at his cockiness, despite knowing he was telling the truth; you could feel the smugness oozing off of him. and while you acted like it annoyed you, you secretly loved it.

“max someone will see,” you spoke up when he began to leave a few more kisses along your neck, his grip on your hips having tightened and backed you up towards the wall.

“good.” he grumbled against your soft skin, nipping at it lightly which dragged a small gasp out of your lips. your eyes darting around to see if anyone had walked by. knowing that easily anyone could come around the corner and see you both.

“i will lose my job,” you added on through gritted teeth as if he had forgotten, yet made no movements to push him away as you were very much enjoying his lips on your skin, and his hands on you; noticing how they moved up your waist and underneath your shirt.

“fine with that too.” max shrugged carelessly, yet pulled away from you regardless, however there was still minimal distance between the pair of you as his lips practically hovered against your own, hands still holding on to you.

your eyes pouring into his with many different emotions, as if to say ‘are you serious?’ and ‘kiss me.’ at once. because both were appropriate.

“you’ve got to get to practice.” you reminded him; allowing your fingers to find the hem of his long sleeve shirt beneath his drivers suit near the neck, straightening it out slightly with a small smile pulling on your lips. a teasing smile.

“i have time to spare. are you trying to get rid of me?” he asked, playfully now as he finally cracked a small smile; enjoying one of the few moments he could be close to you out in the open. and in max’s eyes if toto, lewis or any mercedes staff happened to stumble across the pair of you he wouldn’t mind. he’d love it actually, if it didn’t bring you stress. but it would.

“no. i’m trying to make sure you don’t do anything stupid because of your childish jealousy,” you rolled your eyes another time, withdrawing your hands from him as you quickly leant up to press a short kiss to his lips, having checked the coast was clear before hand.

this had his smile growing, getting the reassurance he needed. for now. “fine. but you’re all mine after 4. no matter what happens, you hear me?” he practically demanded as his fingers found your chin; holding your face up lightly to look at him.

his eyes had visibly darkened as his question came out more as a demand that didn’t need an answer, which had you squeezing your thighs together just at the thought of what might occur once practice was over and everyone was free to go.

“all yours,” you confirmed; a small smirk forming on your lips, which had him tempted to take you right here and right now. he composed himself however, tearing his hand away from yours and being quick to spin on his feet and leave the way he came; only then you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

━

practice went well, not that you could tell too much; the technical side of things and what the engineers and mechanics were looking out for during the practice sessions meant to nothing to you; while you understood all the basics, the discussion in the garage were next level. but you could easily catch the vibe and it was positive throughout the mercedes garage.

currently going through post practice interviews, you were by lewis’s side as he moved from interviewer to interviewer amongst other drivers and team representatives.

like usual you weren’t doing too much, lewis having this under control and the pair of your already going through some generic answers to questions that may come up. more so things he shouldn’t say, not that you ever tell him to not say things; the team definitely does and it’s your job to help ensure he can work around restrictions and still be authentic. which he does just fine.

“it’s going to rain in no time,” lewis commented as the pair of you left the press area; your head nodding as you both came to a stop to wait for a few mercedes team members to come over for a debrief. stupid routines and policies in place of course.

“surprised it held off, glad you got a whole session in.” you hummed in agreement as your eyes turned up to look at the dark clouds; lewis nodding in agreement, the small talk coming naturally to both of you.

“you got anything planned tonight? i’m going out for dinner with angela and a few of the guys, you should come along.” lewis smiled as he invited you out; he was always one to include others. which made it so easy to be his friend, he could easily act above everyone but he didn’t.

it was almost comical that as he spoke your eyes had wandered around and landed on a certain dutch driver, who was already looking your way. except his blue eyes were to your left, intensely watching the interaction between the pair of you. the wide smile on both of your faces, how close the pair of you stood to each other.

he couldn’t do anything about it is what annoyed him, the fact he could only watch was the issue. not you two speaking about god knows what.

“i’d love to but i’ve got a stack of emails i’d much rather get done before sunday,” you smiled, politely declining. you weren’t completely lying. but that’s not why you weren’t going to entertain the idea of dinner.

“all good, hopefully we can make up for it on sunday with the whole team instead.” he grinned, winking playfully as you let out a small laugh and nodded your head as he implied a mercedes win.

to max it looked more like a flirtatious interaction than discussing work, but max was almost bias from his petty thoughts and habit of jumping to conclusions. it wasn’t too much of a secret that certain situations could get his anger rising quickly. this happened to be one of them.

he controlled himself though, focusing on the next interview he was dragged along too, well focusing as much as he could. his mind still burning with the picture of you and lewis in his head.

it had been another half an hour until you were free to go, debrief with lewis and the head of PR before a debrief with the whole PR team, which passed by quickly as everything had ran smoothly.

you were free to do whatever until tomorrow, yet the expected text from max stating he was waiting for you meant you wouldn’t be leaving the track anytime soon; on your way to his motor home.

the second you had opened the door he had you pushed up against it to slam it shut again, his lips on yours before you could even take in his appearance. although you were pretty sure he was yet to change out of his drivers suit.

the rough kiss had you weak at the knees as you desperately kissed back the second you had gathered yourself. his large hands held a tight hold on your waist, until he felt your hands push up on to his chest. despite loving the feeling of your hands on him, he had different plans for tonight.

grasping your wrists in his hands, he was quick to raise your arms above your head and away from him; hesitantly pulling his lips away from yours. you frowned when he stopped you from touching him, and stopped kissing you; searching his face for an answer.

“you’re in for it tonight prinses,” he spoke in a low whisper as he took a few moments to admire your pretty face. his clenched jaw, sharp tone and dark eyes had you realising he was still hanging on to his petty jealousies; but in the moment you didn’t mind. it excited you more so. “you’re going to do what i say, and let me ruin this pussy, my pussy, whatever way i please; because you’re mine, yeah? and only i know how to make you scream.” he added as he shoved his knee between your legs to make you spread them.

your cheeks had flushed red at this point, feeling completely at his mercy with your hands above your head and his thigh between your legs; meaning you couldn’t squeeze your thighs together for some sort of relief to deal with the arousal building as his words rung through your ears.

“yeah,” you mumbled just loud enough for him to hear; pursing your lips together in thought for a few seconds; for some reason seeing him so worked up over basically nothing had you wanting to push him further. “lewis probably could too though,” the words left your mouth without a second thought; your innocent eyes not enough to disguise the intention of your words.

it was quite obvious lewis was what this was all about, and the idea of max making you regret your words only excited you and added to the wetness between your legs.

max wasn’t amused, well aware you were attempting to get on his nerves and it worked regardless. his hand moving up to grab your throat suddenly, applying the perfect amount of pressure as your head hit the door behind you lightly. “you wanna repeat that?”

a gasp had left your lips when he had suddenly choked you, your lips now apart as you had no choice but to stare back at him, tongue grazing over your teeth. part of you now was saying maybe apologise and back out, but where was the fun in being obedient?

“i said, lewis probably could too,” you managed to repeat yourself; almost stuttering, breathing out your words with a bit of difficulty because of the pleasing feeling off his fingers around your neck.

he was silent for a few moments, it being clear he was thinking. you were worried for a second you may have pushed too far and he’d leave you worked up with nothing at all. but you were reassured that wasn’t the case when his hand tightened its grip slightly.

“was going to make you cum over and over again until you were crying but now i think i’d much rather edge you until you’re begging me to stop,” was all he said before his lips were back on yours, giving you no time to complain about his plans.

you thought the kiss before was rough, but this one somehow topped it. the kiss eager and desperate as his hands left your wrists and neck, mumbling a ‘leave them there’ against your pink lips, causing you to whine into the kiss as his hands began to roam your body.

he felt deprived of touching you after only two weeks apart and he was making up for it right now, fingers finding the hem of your shirt and tugging it over your head swiftly, discarding the mercedes merch carelessly and not letting it interrupt the make out session any longer than needed.

you were struggling to keep your hands off of him, wanting nothing more than to tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him closer, run them over his toned chest or down his biceps. but you weren’t going to dig yourself a deeper hole.

you moaned against his lips when his knee pushed up into your core, your hips bucking against him in response. you could make out a muffled chuckle from him but ignored it, he was well aware how needy he made you. which should be enough to realise he had no need to worry about other guys, including lewis.

but max was a jealous guy. he wouldn’t deny it.

“get on your knees,” he demanded breathlessly after pulling away from the heated kiss, his lips slightly swollen just like yours. “gonna put that mouth to use considering you wanna keep running it like a fucking brat,”

you didn’t need to hear anything more as you were quick to drop to your knees; your hands moving behind you to rid yourself of your bra while doing so, watching as max tugged the race suit further down his hips and then his pants to reveal his hardened cock, watching as it slapped his stomach.

he looked at you expectantly, taking in the sight which had him wanting to forget everything he said and just fuck the shit out of you. but he was determined tonight he’d actually go through with his words and make you somewhat suffer. denying you of an orgasm all night wouldn’t be the case, because pleasuring you pleasured him. but he wasn’t going to go easy on you.

your hand moved to wrap around his length, but he was quick to tsk, drawing your eyes back up to him. “no hands. just your mouth.” he clarified, raising his eyebrows to see if you’d question him. and you held back the want to roll your eyes at his smugness, but listened regardless, moving to put your hands behind your back as you took him in your mouth.

you wanted to pout over still not being able to touch him but you knew that wouldn’t last the whole time, instead focusing on pleasing him the best you could. high hopes that a good blowjob could help you get back into the good books.

you looked up through your eye lashes as you began bobbing your head up and down, taking as much of him in as you could, watching as his head fell back and his lips parted; a deep groan following.

you pushed yourself further after this, like always. how could you not when he looked like that above you? eager to pull more moans out of him as you swirled your tongue around him perfectly, as if you were an expert at this.

his hands came to grasp your hair, pushing it out of your face and giving him a grip on your head. “so fucking good liefje, mouth was fuckin’ made for me.” he grunted as he tugged your hair lightly, causing you to moan around his cock as you sucked him off.

it felt slightly unnatural without your hands to hold on to his thigh or to jack off what you couldn’t fit in your mouth, but never the less you were doing pretty damn well like always. as proven by the moans and grunts falling from max’s lips.

he was glad to just have you again after two weeks without. two weeks used to be nothing but now was too long in his eyes to be away from you.

you had released him from your mouth to catch your breath, spitting on his cock and swirling your tongue around his tip for a few moments as you did so before taking him all in again; his eyes staring down at you because the sight was one he always made the most of.

“gonna fuck your face; take it like a good slut yeah? i know you can,” he soon breathed out, his tone somewhat soft compared to before despite his words. however the degradation had your thighs squeezing together once again.

you hummed out around him, attempting to nod your head. he had waited for the confirmation, despite knowing you were fine with it as he had before; he always liked to make sure. he knew your limits, which you loved. he’d always push you to the edge whereas others couldn’t. he knew what you liked as you did him.

his grip on your hair tightened as one of his hands moved to cup your cheek roughly, before his hips started to thrust lightly into your mouth; pushing himself further down your throat.

his moans increased while you forced your eyes to stay open and watch him, admiring the way his muscles flexed and his lips parted from the pleasure. his tip hitting the back of your throat repeatedly had your eyes beginning to water as you gagged around him, taking it none the less.

your lips were now a mess, saliva and pre-cum falling down onto your chin as he paused for a few moments to let you breathe. the second you had somewhat composed yourself he was thrusting into your mouth again, harder and deeper this time.

your name alongside many pet names and curses filled the room alongside his moans, feeling him twitch in your mouth a few moments later before he released down your throat.

your hands were behind your back and pressing against the wall to help with your balance as he soon pulled out of your mouth, a couple of tears having escaped your eyes from the face fucking.

“fuck you’re good at that,” max mumbled as he breathed heavily, coming down from his high meaning he couldn’t help but praise you; looking down at you.

your hands had moved to wipe the corners of your mouth and chin as you looked up at him, cheeks flushed, lips red and your hair already messy. yet you looked better than ever.

he suddenly had you on your feet again, his hands helping you up as you placed your hands on his chest to stop yourself from toppling over. too impressed with his orgasm he didn’t stop you from touching him this time.

“what to do with you, hm?” he smirked as his hand trailed to the waistband of your pants; easily slipping under them and under your lace thong to cup your wet cunt, his smirk only growing when his suspicions that you were aroused were confirmed. “so needy and i’ve barely touched you prinses,” he commented; a small moan escaping your lips as his fingers brushed over your clit.

his hand was gone before you knew it, your bottom lip between your teeth as you stopped yourself from huffing and pouting. any other night you would’ve pushed him onto the sofa behind him and taken charge, as you didn’t have much patience.

but he was in charge right now and you were loving it, how could you not? his hands found your hips again as he dragged you with him to the sofa, taking a seat before his hands tugged your pants down your legs; you being sure to help him slip them off of you completely.

“you’re gonna ride my thigh,” he suddenly spoke up as he tugged you down onto his lap, yet you were only straddling one of his legs instead of both; your eyebrows furrowing as you looked to him for confirmation that you had heard right. “if you wanna cum tonight you better work for it, don’t think you deserve my fingers or tongue baby.” he explained.

you pursed your lips as you blushed intensely, you had never done this before; not even with him and while hesitant your need to get off will probably take priority. and it did when his hands guided your hips to grind against his clothed thigh.

a moan fell from your lips quickly after the much needed friction, your hands moving to rest on his chest. the second the pleasure had started you had no issue in grinding your hips against his thigh, needy for whatever he’d give you.

soft moans started to fall as his hands hovered over your hips, watching you intently. enjoying seeing you get off from just his thigh; admiring the way your face scrunched up and contorted in pleasure.

“look at you,” he spoke up as his hand grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him once again. your cheeks felt as if they were on fire, red from embarrassment yet you were still dragging your clit on the material of his driver’s suit shamelessly. definitely going to leave a wet patch but max didn’t mind. “getting off on just my thigh huh, making a mess? such a fucking needy slut,” he repeated; tensing his leg and bouncing it lightly which caused a louder moan.

you were already a whimpering and moaning mess, getting yourself off yet not enough to come close to an orgasm; in a state of limbo where you were desperate for more. nodding at his words and humming in reply, small whines following.

eventually max conceded and let go of one of your hips to find your clit, helping rub quick circles as you continued to move your hips back and forth; your head falling back as you struggled to keep up the pace.

offering further assistance his other hand guided your hips again; causing you to moan his name as you now quite quickly felt your high approaching.

he read you perfectly, he knew how your body worked and the second he picked up you were about to cum his fingers had left your clit, returned to your hip and had lifted your hips enough to remove any contact.

“no, please,” you whined out as you felt the familiar feeling disappear into nothing, your legs squirming and hips bucking to try gain some sort of contact or friction, only to be met with nothing.

he had a cruel smirk on his face as he watched you squirm. while he too wanted to see you come undone on his thigh, he was not letting you off that easy. he wanted to remind you who could get you like this.

“patience love; you brought this on yourself,” he reminded you; his lips lazily pressing a few kisses to your neck, sure enough to leave hickeys which will be a chore for you tomorrow morning.

the second you had come down from your almost high he had flipped you on your back, moving to settle between your legs. he pushed your legs apart, and when you attempted to squeeze them together again due to being sensitive from before, he laid a small slap to your inner thigh.

you let out a small moan at that before he grabbed your thighs and held them apart himself, not giving you any warning before diving into your cunt with his tongue.

“oh god,” you moaned out as he caught you off guard, not expecting him to eat you out right now, the feeling of his tongue between your folds and swirling your clit having your back arch up off the couch.

his grip tightened on your thighs as he relentlessly sucked and licked at your clit, before delving into your entrance every now and then; rotating to ensure you couldn’t get use to anything.

“max please, fuck,” you moaned out; legs already shaking again due to having just come down from almost cumming; unsure of what you were pleading for. probably for him to let you finish this time.

he managed to hold your legs still despite them trying to wrap around his head, your fingers moving to tangle in his hair; your eyes screwing shut.

his tongue was doing a number on you like always, and you felt yourself approaching your high already. you weren’t ashamed it had approached so quick, as it was expected considering he had just denied you of an orgasm not even 5 minutes ago.

but you attempted to hold it off and hide it so he wouldn’t pull away, not sure if you could handle going through it again as your whole body began to shake.

he noticed, eyes glancing up at you with amusement clear on his face. “don’t you dare,” was all he warned you; which had a whine leaving your lips as he didn’t give up on pleasuring you, a gasp being heard when he nibbled on your sensitive bud very lightly before continuing to suck on it.

“i can’t, max; fuck, please,” you stuttered out; unsure if your words were even audible as you tugged on his hair lightly. he gave your inner thigh another harsh slap but you couldn’t even feel it with the orgasm you were so desperately trying to hold off.

you were about to let go, at your absolute limit. but he beat you to it, his tongue and mouth leaving you to clench around nothing as he held your thighs even wider apart; watching as you shook and cried out at another ruined orgasm.

“no, no, no. please,” you moaned; it feeling even more disappointing this time as you squirmed in desperation; your hands leaving his hair as he sat up on his knees, a hum leaving his lips.

“i wouldn’t have to treat you like a brat if you didn’t act like one y/n,” the dutch man spoke, leaning to hover over you; his fingers coming up to tenderly wipe a couple of tears that had escaped your eyes again from the overwhelming pleasure.

legs still shaking and your breathing heavy, you watched him. “m’ sorry,” you managed to speak out; a frown on your face as your hand moved to rest on his chest. “please just fuck me; please? i need you,” you practically begged.

his cocky smile returned, you didn’t even need to beg because he was always going to make sure you left here satisfied. he always did. and you knew it too, you were loving every minute of it because you knew the second he did make you cum it was going to be all that better.

but the desperation you were feeling right now was unmatched and in the moment it had you a complete horny mess.

“no need to stress schatje, i’m gonna fuck you now,” he had mumbled softly, knowing he didn’t need to push you any further. he repositioned you once again, having you on your knees and facing the back of the sofa as he stood behind you.

his hands rid your almost ruined panties with ease, simply ripping the thin material in half. you were too aroused to care, hands gripping onto the back of the sofa as you waited in anticipation.

his hands grabbed at the skin of your ass, taking a few moments to admire the view once again; squeezing the skin before delivering a harsh spank.

it had you jolting forward as a small gasp that turned into a moan left your lips, taking a deep breath at the feeling of his hands roaming your skin.

spreading your cheeks, he quite suddenly thrusted inside of your cunt with ease; having grown hard once again practically since the moment you were riding his thigh.

you both moaned in sync, your hands gripping onto the sofa tighter as you let out a small whimper as he gave you a couple of seconds to adjust to his size. it didn’t take long for him to be thrusting in and out of you quickly however.

even just from the penetration you felt relief wash over your body when you were finally getting pleasured again, your head falling forward as soft moans and whimpers left your lips; biting down harshly on your bottom lip to try contain yourself.

“don’t you dare try keep quiet,” max was quick to notice your actions; speaking through gritted teeth as his hand left your hip to tangle in your hair, tugging it backwards so your head tilted back and your chest lifted so you were closer to him; a louder moan leaving your lips at this from the pain that twisted into pleasure.

there shouldn’t be anyone around but the thought still lingered in your mind, however now that he had told you to not keep quiet you were quick to let the moans leave your lips carelessly.

“always taking me so well prinses. tell me who this pussy belongs to huh?” he whispered into your ear, a few of him own moans and groans being heard through out as he pounded you roughly; hitting the perfect spot inside of you.

“you max. only you.” you moaned out in response, whimpering when you felt his lips on the back of your neck; sucking and nibbling at the skin. “oh god; all yours, fuck, please,” you continued to ramble, not sure if you were making sense as you felt yourself approach the familiar state for the third time.

“that’s right, all mine.” he grunted as he harshly thrusted in and out of you; his hand leaving your hair to snake around your waist and find your clit, beginning to rub quick and small circles again.

your head fell forward, unable to keep yourself up as your eyes screwed shut; already seeing stars as you felt yourself clench around his cock.

he groaned louder this time, delivering another slap to your ass which was only met with a moan of appreciation from you. causing him to do it again, his other hand still overstimulating your clit.

“i’m gonna cum m-max, please.” you moaned out; stuttering as your back arched as you pushed back against him, clenching around his cock once more as you tried to stop yourself from just cumming right now.

“hold it baby, i know you can. be a good little slut for me for just a little longer,” he spoke lowly; giving your ass a small squeeze as he groaned loudly from the feeling of you around him.

you could only whimper in reply but managed to listen, holding off as your body began to squirm; your moans growing louder as you struggled to keep yourself up with your arms on the sofa.

max, like always, noticed this, his hand leaving your hip to grab your neck; pulling you up against his chest. you were a moaning mess at this point, so when he fastened his fingers at your clit and then whispered in your ear; you came quickly.

“cum for me prinses, go on; tell me who’s making you feel this good.”

and you did, his name being the one you moaned as you finally reached your high and most certainly the best orgasm of your life. practically going limp in his arms as your body shook lightly, feeling him release into you as well; your vision being clouded with stars.

your head had fell back to rest on his shoulder, and after a few moments of you both trying to catch your breath, max pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of your lips.

by the time you had recovered you were sat on the sofa in his shirt, your cheeks still flushed red, hair messy and your eyelids heavy. watching him as he cleaned up the piles of both your discarded clothes.

“you okay?” he spoke in your direction, causing a lazy laugh to leave your lips, yawning as you rested your head on the arm rest; eyes not leaving him.

“i’m fine.” you spoke with a small smile. “more than fine, just tired.” you couldn’t help but giggle, watching as his cocky smile tugged on his lips yet again. “you really don’t have anything to worry about though, you know that right?” you couldn’t help but clarify.

his smile didn’t falter, meaning he was well aware he had nothing to worry about. “i know,” he chuckled; causing you to roll your eyes as he approached you, his hand coming to cup your cheek lightly. “i do know though. still doesn’t mean the thought of you with him━ well anyone, pisses me off.” he admitted sheepishly.

“hm, well if you do know and those occasional thoughts result in this i don’t think it’ll be much of an issue anyways,” you grinned; earning another small chuckle from him before he brought his lips to yours in a kiss. a soft one unlike what had started the evening, both just as good as each other however.

━

a/n: how tf do u end smut 🤨🤨 anyways hope y’all liked it pls tell me if u did cause i need validation and reassurance 😀😀😀

#f1 smut #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #x reader #f1 #masterlist #not my gifs #smut #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen smut #max verstappen #max verstappen imagine

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buckysbabygorl · 3 years

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Hello! Idk if you’re currently accepting requests right now and if you aren’t, feel free to ignore or delete this! If you are, I would like to request a fluff oneshot with the reader (who possesses the ability to fly with wings) is practicing with their ability outside of the avengers compound one afternoon and standing in the field is Bucky, just watching them with pure adoration. 🥺

I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR THE LENGTH OF THIS REQUEST 😭

Flight Risk

Word Count: 1.7k

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist

“MOTHER FUCKER!”

Y/N fell once again as she took lift off.

At least she had manage a few feet this time.

Holy hell was this hard.

She looked to the clouds from her position in the grass, admiring the fluffy clusters above her. When she was younger, her mother told her they were made of the fallen feathers of angel wings, accumulating in soft mounds throughout the sky.

She reached to touch the end of her own wings, though they weren’t white, she liked to think that’s what the clouds above her felt like.

She knew they didn’t, in fact they didn’t feel like anything. Just cold, moist. Or so she had been told. She hadn’t felt them herself yet.

Her wings hadn’t been operational that long ago: DNA splicing experimentation and strenuous surgery had only produced these miraculous appendages on a whim, she had been the only successful subject. There could have been more, but thankfully the Avengers stepped in once hearing that Zola’s previous experimentation had influenced a small group of mad scientists to use similar technologies. Kidnapping thousands of travellers throughout the decades and only recently been finding themselves successful in their results. They attempted to give people gills, fins, horns, hooves... and in Y/N’s case, wings.

They couldn’t send Y/N back into society; they knew she wouldn’t be accepted or be able to live a normal life. She was free to return to civillian life if she chose, but the team made her aware that she was more than welcome to join them.

So she did.

She surprisingly had proved herself to be a usefull asset, wings aside. She was strong, fast, cunning, high above the rest (both literally and metaphorically). She was a superhero now.

But unfortunately, she had no capabality of flying.

“I can teach you,” Sam said, “It’s not that difficult.”

“Your wings don’t count,” Y/N said, “Yours are mechnical. Mine are natural.”

“Well, as natural as science experiments can be.” Bruce said.

“Shut it,” she teased.

Technology aside, Sam had seemed like the only one with somewhat similar experiences to teach her some minor details.

He gave her the basics, but she was alone now.

Huffing, she lifted herself from the ground and dusted her clothes off. She shook out her wings, adjusting her shirt so that they didn’t bunch at the shoulders.

“Come on, you got this. Just bend, brace, expand, flap--”

She tried again, shooting up with wings narrowed. She then unfurled them as she rose higher into the air, but as another gust of wind came she found herself faltering and tumbling back down.

Bucky took out his earbuds as he jogged by. He hadn’t noticed her before, adjusting to the early morning hadn’t left him very observant of his surroundings. He watched as her wings spread, her eyes on the sky above. He couldn’t help but chuckle as she struggled to stay up, frustration scrunching her face.

“You okay? He called out.

She rested her hands on her knees, looking up at the voice. A small smile breaking her thoughts as she realized who it was.

“Yeah.” She called back.

He jogged to her place in the open field, slowing as he neared her and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Flight practice?” He asked.

“Not really,” she said as she crossed her legs, “It’s more ‘breaking for impact’ practice at this point.”

He laughed softly, bending to sit beside her as she checked her knees for scrapes.

“I take it Sam didn’t really give you the best advice.” He said, reaching out to run his thumb over a small bruise on her shin.

She sighed, “Well his heart’s in the right place but--we’ve got different mechanics. I don’t think he can relate to this. Not that many people can...”

She ran the back of her hand along the length of her wings, flicking upwards as she reached their soft end point.

Bucky admired the light brown color of her wings, reminding him of the sparrows that sometimes stopped on the windowsill of his bedroom.

He was never really subtle with his staring, Sam had actually labelled it as his biggest problem. She wasn’t an exception to that; he often found his eyes chasing after her as she exited rooms, her expansive wings encompassing her figure.

“One day she’s gonna catch you staring,” Sam warned, “you better hope she doesn’t kick your ass. She could get the wrong idea...”

Bucky didn’t like that her phrased it that way; as if he was gawking at her. He wasn’t looking at her like she was some freak, or a circus sideshow. It was more like... admiration.

She was beautiful.

He thought she was beautiful.

If anyone had taken a glimpse into his mind, it would be easy to understand that he wasn’t looking only because the wings were breathtaking, he felt she was too.

“Can I?” He asked.

His hand was held out in a loose open palm, just above the bed of feathers.

She nodded, and he ran his knuckles slowly along the length in the same way she had before.

They tickled slightly, the nerve endings in his fingers seemed to buzz. His hand shook slightly as he flicked upwards at the point, and she giggled quietly.

“It tickles when you do it.” She said.

He smiled, “Same here.”

He gently picked at blades of grass that had stuck to her wings, “How long have you been out here?”

She looked up at the sun, noting its change in height.

“A few hours I think. I didn’t want anyone to see.”

“Well, sorry for the intrusion then.”

She shrugged, “It’s alright. I like having you around.”

A blush creeped up his cheeks, and he ducked his head more, pretending to really focus on pulling out grass.

“So--uh, where do you think you’re going wrong?”

She chuckled at his bluntness, only further embarrassing Bucky.

“I don’t know. In my lift off I can’t make it stick. It just doesn’t feel natural.”

“Alright”, Bucky wasn’t sure how to help her, it wasn’t like he had any personal experience himself. “Well, what does feel natural?”

“What do you mean?”

He leaned back to lie on the grass, hands cradling his head as he looked up.

“I guess--I mean, when you look at birds, they just start flapping. That’s natural for them. Humans don’t fly; Sam’s wings are mechanical…”

Y/N realized early on in their relationship that Bucky had a tendency to ramble; though he liked when others were “to the point”, he lacked that quality himself. But she knew if she was patient, he’d get there eventually. And truthfully, she quite enjoyed listening to his tangents.

“...so Sam’s advice is based off what the wings are designed to do. Maybe you need to try testing it out the natural way. Move your wings in a way that feels right. Does that make sense?”

No, it didn’t.

But she smiled anyway, “Kind of. Like, don’t think about it and see where my body takes me?”

He chuckled, “That’s a weird way to phrase it, but yeah, something like that.”

Suddenly she stood up, making Bucky jump slightly.

She was no longer looking at him, only closing her eyes and expanding her wings.

He liked that she was a “0 to 100” type of person, out of nowhere she’d get an idea and then it was all action.

She let the wind ripple through her feathers, and she tried to gauge the current off her wings.

Don’t think about it… what feels right?

She couldn’t put it into words; but as she focused on her surroundings, feeling the breeze… some kind of instinct came over her.

Wait…

Bucky intently watched as she inhaled; steading herself as her wings unfurled.

Wait…

As the sun gleamed behind her, leaving him completely consumed in her shadow.

It was breathtaking.

Her eyes snapped open.

Now.

The sudden flap of her wings threw Bucky back, the hard beat shooting her upwards and leaving him in the grass.

Each stride she took was with purpose, and before they knew it she was flying higher than she ever had before.

Bucky stood, laughing and smiling in awe as she soared along the current.

The wind roared in her ears, so loud she could barely hear her own laughter.

She was amazed, she was flying.

She let the wind pull her, ducking her wings and shooting off in another direction.

Bucky spun around in circles as she flew around him, trying to catch her figure against the blinding sunlight.

He was dizzy, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“Jesus Christ,” he said to himself. He cupped his hands over his mouth to amplify his voice, “You’re flying!” He screamed.

“I’m fucking flying!” She screamed back.

Just wait ‘til Sam saw this.

But then she got cocky, dipping further than she should’ve.

She caught a draft that clipped her wing.

It was too late to catch herself before she was fluttering to the ground.

“Shit!” She screamed.

“Shit.” Bucky muttered.

He started running in her direction, arms reaching out like he was catching a football.

“I’ve got you,” he cried, “I’ve got you!”

He caught her just in time, bracing for impact as they both crashed into the ground.

Hair windswept and cheeks red, Y/N screamed out in happiness.

“Oh my god, did you see that? Did you see me?”

He couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head as she dramatically recounted the experience, his arms firmly holding her against him.

“And then I was like whoosh and the wind came and it was like AHH and then--”

She was cut off by his lips on hers.

His lips were soft, his touch surprisingly gentle for such a gruff man…

Her eyes closed and she pressed further into him, deepening the kiss.

He pulled away, leaving her more shocked than the flight had.

“I’m sorry,” He started, “It’s just--”

He looked into her eyes, unable to explain it all. How could he? She was just...

“--I think you’re amazing.”

She smiled back at him, “Oh I’ll show you amazing.”

Her hands wrapped around his collar as she pulled him back in for another kiss.

Bucky would have to remind himself to interrupt flight practice more often...

I hope you enjoyed @halietigges this request was so fun to make!

Taglist: @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @dumb-ass-writer @cuddlycalcifer @babyblue-07 @babybluereads @lonewolf471 @emmabarnes @niiight-dreamerrrr @julipmoon @fandomsfallnomore @elliee1497 @godspeedlover @sexwithhiddlesbatch @annestine @shower-me-with-roses @yougottalovefandoms @rebekahdawkins

#marvel #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #tiktok #bucky barnes imagine #fatws #bucky #tfatws #buckysbabygorl requests #buckysbabygorl masterlist

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goosedawn · 3 years

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Goose I'm back on my bullshit here's more Eret centered AUs

In this world humans have headed to revert primarily back to medieval times do to giants emerging out of the ground and destroying large cities, many of the giants don't mean to destroy the cities and towns once they wake up but a lot of them genuinely don't care

Some humans also start turning into giants/mini-giants all on their own over the course of a week, Eret (a giant) believes this is what happened to him since he woke up in the middle of the woods surrounded by a destroyed house and all alone with no memory

Eret just wanders around all alone for quite some time until he finds a small human child wandering around in the forest, the kid is surprisingly not scared of him and runs up to Eret asking for help

Eret gladly assist the small child by following them to some rocks that fell down on there brother and very carefully remove the rocks, Eret does his best to fix up the human but one of his legs are broken so he can't really leave the two alone since they might get hurt

Eret ask the kod what his and thwre brothers name is- He now has Tommy (6 years old) hanging out in his chest pocket and Wilbur (17 which is also Eret's age) being carefully cradled in his hands he had towards his own home, she really hopes the human doesn't freak out when they wake up and carefully substitute down in a small box with a blanket while she goes off to make dinner for them

Hopefully Eret's friend Foolish doesn't mind to human staying in the house for a few days

-Plant

@plant-gt-thought-box THATS SO CUTE im love,, ❣️❣️

abjjjhdmjhdhje im too tired to properly write something for this but.

[slight tw for discussion of death (none happens)]

what if the reason Wilbur got stuck under the rocks was because Tommy was being reckless and he had to push Tommy out of the way of the falling rocks? so then Tommy's just crying while Wilbur is trying to calm him down and eventually convinces Tommy to try run to the next town over to get help

but in reality, Wilbur is more worried that its getting dark, and is trying to get Tommy to safety because Wilbur doesn't think he will make it, especially not with all the giants and other dangerous creatures in the forest.

Tommy ofc stumbles across Eret, whos. idk maybe theyr vibing in a field? and 6 year old Tommy just goes. OH THIS PERSON CAN HELP and gets attached to Eret immediately because they go along with calling him a "big man"

when they get back to where Wilbur is, night is already falling and the last thing Wilbur sees before he blacks out is the glint of Eret's eyes in the dying light.

also if i read your ask right u also implied Foolish and Eret lived together which is cool ahdkfhdkf i love the idea of Eret maybe going travelling a lot, and occasionally returning with interesting trinkets and such, but this is the first time Foolish has seen them bring back not one but two people

Wilbur doesn't expect to wake up, but when he does hes in a box and Tommy is nowhere to be seen. he panics and Tommy immediately calls out for him. He hears heavy footsteps as Eret approaches with Tommy in his hand, dropping him off so the two can hug. Wilbur, obviously scared out of his mind, attempts to shield Tommy from the giant, while Tommy struggles and tries to tell him that Eret helped save them

ofc, Wilbur and Tommy end up staying, but yknow. what if. sometimes. much like that first week when the giants rose from the earth, some people just grow into giants/minigiants. i am saying what if Tommy becomes a minigiant as he grows up ahfjdbjsvfj

ALSO. can i just say the setting sounds really interesting, especially if you take into context that the world was presumably much like ours when the giants rose, so theres probably a neat post-apocalyptic feel mixed with more medieval ways of living

depending on how long it would have been, there could be a neat aesthetic of broken down modern day structures that have been stripped for material mixed with a fantasy-medieval style

like. horse carts piled with hay passing by a field littered with concrete rubble and iron bars, the grain growing up between it all

everything is mostly medieval based but just. with reminders of the world that once was.

THIS TURNED INTO ME JUST THINKING OF WORLDBUILDING ABDJDKCBEMBTKCHDK

I AM THINKING ABOUT WORLDBUILDING A LOT but its also kinda goin off the rails so imma sleep maybe

#.... i. i may take this setting and steal it for a personal project that aesthetic is SO cool like what #doodles #i am deeply attached to this worldbuilding oh no #mcyt g/t #mcyt gt #g!eret #t!tommy #t!wilbur #giant!eret #tiny!tommy #tiny!wilbur #plant tag #HECK YES I LOVE THIS SM #goosedrawn

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 2 years

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thoughts on moth childe; I feel like he can read your mood pretty well and can gauge how and when you like to be physically touched and coddled. Like he can read ur aura or smth lmao but he uses it to his advantage when you're feeling particularly irked and stingy specifically. idk about other people but its always 50/50 for me to be touched when I;m in a mood like that. Just imagine this huge monster purring while sitting at your feel staring at your until you gesture him to rest his head on your lap or smth!!! Or if you're not the touchy feeling type he just continues to sit/ lay around you purring extremally loud on purpose to make you feel betterrrr AUGh <333 hope this made some sort of sense

this makes total sense because you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. even before Child got stuck in Foul Legacy he knew a lot about your habits and emotions from just spending time with you, and once he's in Moth Mode tm it's amplified by at least 10. he can very clearly tell when you're not in the mood for physical contact and he is very respectful of it!!! and even when he thinks it's alright, he always waits for your permission to snuggle up on your legs (plus when he's waiting for you to give the "go ahead" sign, he's sitting next to you on the cough and staring with a big sparkly eye so he's just ADORABLE)

and if you're very much NOT in the mood to be touched but also need to not be alone, Childe will curl up beside you and rumble so loud so you can hear it clearly. sometimes it makes you fall asleep and lean on him, and he treasures that when it happens!!! very gently patting your head and pulling a blanket over you so you can sleep well <33 honestly i think he understands not wanting physical contact at times because he was like that when he first got stuck in Foul Legacy- you were the only one who could touch Childe without him freaking out, and it took a very long time for him to warm up to other people like Zhongli or the Traveler!!!

#genshin impact #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #childe #tartaglia #genshin tartagalia #chit chat #I COMPLTELY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING #for me sometimes my skin just hurts for some reason so i want absolutely no one to touch me #childe is respectful of boundaries!!!!!#he has to be careful around people anyways because his claws are very Sharp!!!#so he relishes the times when you're ok with being held/laid on <333 #short scenario #other's stuff

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sscoutregimentss · 3 years

Text

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....

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indigo-brainspark · 2 years

Text

Ms Marvel Episode 4 Notes

So... this episode is set in my hometown Karachi, which I share with like, fifteen million people. Not an easy place to portray, but I think they got it spot on.

I was not in Karachi at the time the episode came out, so I'm writing this here now.

The glamor shots of everything were a bit much from my perspective. Though that's probably cause I've been here and I know the atmosphere, but most of the audience watching it hasn't even heard of this city. It's like if they have a movie in NYC and it zooms in on people sitting in traffic or going to libraries. Idk I've never been there.

I never realized how much the piss filter they put on all the """poor""" countries bothered me until they properly colored Karachi. I've seen a lot of people comment on how vivid the colors are, and it just makes me happy how people love the color in my city. I definitely get very self-deprecating about the appearance of my country from time to time, and it's not helped by the constant barrage of unflattering images they put on screen.

Can we talk about how rich this family is??? It's getting to me. The grandmother lives alone, on a massive freaking property, no renters, no nothing, huge yard, two floors, and judging by the landmarks we see, in the posh area of the city??? And the cousins are part of a boat club. Not just any boat club. A boat club so pretentious, it has a NO-JEANS POLICY. Where are these people getting this money, hot damn.

Yeah, on the topic of the no-jeans policy, that's not a normal thing. I'm just assuming this place is so posh, they get to say stupid shit like that.

The cousins are just really irresponsible. Imma just say it. They left their underage foreign cousin, who doesn't speak Urdu, or any other regional language, in the middle of the most crowded (and crime ridden) parts of Karachi, after she said she wanted to go to the train station, and also she's in massive trouble for absolutely wrecking her brother's wedding. This girl is probably planning on running away, and even if she wasn't, she's still going to get lost, scammed, or murdered, dear lord, you terrible people.

Funny story, I was actually at the Karachi train station a week before this episode came out. That's why I was able to pinpoint the fact that this wasn't shot in Pakistan, before the told the press that. The real train station doesn't have shading over the platforms. It's sun all the way, because we are assholes.

The aesthetic of the Red Dagger hideout is so cool. I've been travelling, and looking at a bunch of Mughal-era architecture, and you can see the inspiration they took from it.

This episode made me realize people have hot and sour soup that ISN'T red. Honey, what are you doing with ur lives 😭😭😭

On the subject of food, lots of takeout is served in plastic bags and no other containers, and the idea is to cut it open and empty it on a plate at home. Around a campfire, though, it's prolly best to eat straight from bag.

Paani puri is delicious. I don't like the spicy kind, it gets stuck in my throat. Get the thick, sweet kind, and put chickpeas on it, its great.

In regards to the road chase, I love how well they captured the environment, even though they couldn't be here. Yes, a family absolutely will attempt to squeeze onto a single bike. It's a money thing. Also, the women don't sit with a leg on either side of the bike. They usually sit sideways on the bike, as though it were a chair. It's stupid, and I hate it, (I'm allowed to say that cuz I'm a demigirl) and I'm astounded these women don't lose balance like that and fall to grievous injuries. It's not a required thing, but it's just something a lot of women do, but it gives me anxiety. It was carried on from the horse-riding era I think. Anyway desi women sitting at the back of bikes are absolutely badass.

I reverse-translated the verse "what you seek is seeking you" into Urdu, but it turns out that it was a reference to a Rumi poem, which was actually written in Persian, but it makes sense that Kamala couldn't tell that, because it uses the same alphabet as Urdu and Arabic.

I've heard the term ABCD around. But the only American-continent cousins I have are from Canada so we don't really use that in the family. Anyways, I only recently found out that the C does not mean Culturally. All this time I've been thinking its, American Born Culturally Desi, and its actually American Born Confused Desi💀.

Very in-character for desi people to just make fun of their youngers instead of writing something straightforward. My versions better, just saying.

#ms marvel #ms marvel spoilers #karachi

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

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just-asks-and-beats · 2 years

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Hi! this may be a bit of a sad spot for some, but there’s no way this blog is going anywhere anymore lol, I just don’t have the motivation whatsoever. jsab is a great game and I still love it, im just not motivated to make anything for it anymore. That’s how life is, you just drift away from some things.

So, to thank you for coming along for the ride while it was still going, i’ll go ahead and explain the storyline and where things were going! there’s proooobably going to be a lot? idk yet, but it’ll be under the cut!

So I had a little draft in my notes app of just basic guidelines for the story. it’s unfinished but here’s all of it:

blixer wakes up in the woods, tries to get his bearings, kinda panics a bit and wants to find a place to hide ☑️

(backstory) meanwhile, lycanthropy had moved to the main island but is slowly starting to turn pink again, mostly keeps it a secret but the people who know freak out, thinking the corruption is coming back☑️

lycan runs away and eventually finds blixer in the woods, doesn’t recognize him, they travel together n try to find a place to go☑️

lycan wants to go back to the volcano, blixer has nowhere else to go bc it’s either that or going back to the island with the cave he was stuck in which is what made him get really pissed off in the first place so he doesn’t want to go back there. ☑️

eventually make it to the volcano, Ship helps get them there, not recognising either of em.☑️

barracuda just. is like “what”☑️

he knows it’s Blixer but doesn’t know lycan or the askers know so he doesn’t say anything for blixers safety. ☑️

eventually the secret it out in the open, blixer admits to being himself and is surprised to know everyone else already knew but sort of relieved, trusting everyone a little more.

potential conflict between Blixer and Barracuda about unsolved issues between their relationship

meanwhile, Cyan and Cube hear of lycan’s disappearance and want to check out the volcano, since that’s where he stayed when he was corrupted, they also want to see how barracuda is doing and if he is still hostile or not.

cut back to barracuda lycan and blixer, they all made up and are now trying to figure out how to get blixer back to his normal form

ship takes cube and cyan to the volcano

the stuff with the checks were things we got to, and those without it were what was to come! also yes you read that right, I was planning on having a little twist where Barracuda actually knew that it was Blixer the whole time! Which would lead into the information that they were childhood friends prior to Blixer being shunned from society and sealed away in the cave, only to be reunited during the corruption! Alsooo… the notes are kind of unfinished because I was going to make up the rest of the stuff as i went. I had no idea how I was going to “end” the story, or what I would do after. Though I would probably do something along the lines of this:

Barracuda and Lycan are able to find a way to bring Blixer back to his normal form… unfortunately just as Cube and Cyan arrive. The terrible timing causes everyone to panic, especially Blixer and Cyan. Blixer, accidentally attacks the two blue shapes in a blind panic as he thinks his life is in danger, then flees the scene.

The other shapes are all incredibly worried, and as Cube questions Barracuda and Lycan, they all notice that Cyan is gone, having chased after Blixer.

Cyan has caught up to him and a fight has ensued. Both think the other is dangerous and are fighting for their lives.

The characters and askers have to work together to de-escalate the situation, the “ending” being everyone coming to an understanding of one another, and Blixer finally being accepted into society once again, his big debut being a huge party everyone was invited to as an apology for his wrongdoings. (also btw I just remembered Heli existed WHOOPS! uhhh I would probably say they were fighting on top of a mountain because Blixer found a cave on the mountaintop and tried to hide by Cyan found him and the fight started, and they’d have to ask Heli for help to get there!)

After the story ended either A. The blog would retire, or B. I would do random things like character Q&A’s, M!A’s, etc, until I could think up how to work in some sort of mini story here and there. The cycle would continue until I got tired of the blog.

Aaaand that’s it! Thanks so much for all the support, and I hope this is at least a little bit of closure so it doesn’t seem like I left things off on a cliffhanger or something!

#lemon yells #js&b #jsab

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years

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More "de-aged Taka and T7 end up in the Warring Clans Era as Founders' wards" AU

“That’s a thing?” you ask. The answer is yes.

Uh. Kind of. Deaging Team Seven for the sake of tossing them back in time for a Founder to adopt is pretty common, but I’m trash for Taka so this AU started with me brainstorming the asshole team.

I am falling more and more in love with the idea of Tobirama ending up with custody of Team Taka somehow. He’s a science dad, but like. Marginally more ethical than Orochimaru.

Everyone around them is like "This is a terrible idea and it's all going to end horribly" and he's just like "Ah, these are now my children."

I've read so many "Team Seven time-travels and is de-aged, get adopted by the Founders" or "a Founder time-travels forward and adopts Naruto, subsequently picking up the others" and they're good but I now want the same plot with an even more dysfunctional collection of... eldritch mishaps? The AO3 feel of "I want this fic I just read, again, but a step to the left so it feels fresh and new"

I'm considering the tent of tranquility idea (courtesy of @sloaners) and I've come to the decision that Tobirama's... probably going to end up with Several Holes in it, and burns, and cuts, because Karin and Suigetsu never stop fighting, and if they're fighting, they're not paying attention to how soon Juugo's going to lose his grip on control.

"Hm. Tobirama?" "Anija." "Where did you get children?" "They showed up." "One of them looks like an Uchiha." "He does." "Two of them are trying to kill each other." "That's normal." "Are the Uchiha going to accuse us of stealing a clan child?" "Probably." "...Tobirama, did you steal these children?" "No."

(It's not kidnapping if they show up and break into your house first.)

(Also none of them are particularly pressed to ditch the Senju and find their clans. Maybe eventually. Not now.)

They’re assholes but Karin is, even at Supposedly Age Three, babbling at Tobirama about proper lab protocol and chemical reactions and isn’t that just the most adorable thing?

Very few people find Karin as adorable as Tobirama does, because Karin knows more ways to kill a person than most adult shinobi, because most adult shinobi don’t know about things like flesh-eating diseases and specialty poisons from the other side of the continent that can only be refined via chemical processes that won’t exist for another three decades.

Juugo is a sweetheart. Best child. Then he loses his mind but it’s okay, Sasuke is there. Do the Senju trust the clearly-Uchiha child to control the much larger five-year-old? No. But they don’t have any better ideas right now, so.

Tobirama: Hm, we should do something about that. Karin: Here’s a list of ideas and things that have already been tried. Tobirama: Thank you, small child. Where did you get this? Karin: ... Tobirama: Fair enough, let’s see what we can do.

Suigetsu is a little terror because not only is he a Massive Jerk but he also has better control over water than most adults. Mostly because he is water. It’s very hard to find him when he’s avoiding chores.

Karin clings to Mito sometimes because Family! and then Hashirama tries to tease Tobirama about being upset that one of his students/children has ditched him. Hashirama ends up moping in a corner because Tobirama snaps at him, unsurprisingly.

IDK if we have like any canon for Touka beyond skill with genjutsu, but going off of the fanon that she used a naginata, I’m going to say that Suigetsu keeps trying to challenge her to Blade Fights and she’s just like Neat, A Tiny Murder Machine.

Sasuke is very quiet for the most part and Dramatically Broods On Rooftops And In Trees and Hashirama is just like YES YOU REMIND ME OF MY BROTHER AND ALSO MY BEST FRIEND and Sasuke hides.

Sasuke does not need another Naruto, thank you.

Sasuke ends up hanging out with Mito, I think? Like yeah, sure, she’s an Uzumaki, but she’s chill and refined and calm and she has really good tea in stock. Sure he has to learn fuuinjutsu to have an excuse to hang out with her, but that’s fine. It’s interesting. Karin does it too, sometimes.

tbh that probably leaves Hashirama to hang out with Juugo? Juugo isn’t great at Excite but he is great at nature so I feel like Hashirama would be stars-in-eyes about Juugo talking to birds the way Hashirama talks to trees, and Hashirama just gets him a chicken coop like HERE. FRIENDS.

But back to the suspected child theft.

Hashirama is like “That is... clearly an Uchiha. They are going to find out, Tobirama! Someone is going to figure out we have--” “Sasuke, show him your other eye. Yeah, the one you cover.” “...” “Okay, go back to playing.” “...Tobirama.” “Yeah?” “That was a Rinnegan.” “You know those rumors that the only way to get a Rinnegan is to mix the Uchiha and Senju bloodlines?” “It’s true?” “No idea, Sasuke won’t tell me anything about his parents other than their names, and he’s three, but even the chance of it being true means we have an arguable claim.” “...that’s not going to be enough to convince the Uchiha.” “The theory is but one weapon of many in the upcoming battle of wits.” “Tobirama--” “Now if you’ll excuse me, Anija, I need to go make sure Suigetsu doesn’t flood the training grounds again.”

tbh I can’t remember who made the original comment in canon about the Rinnegan being achieved via Senju/Uchiha babies but it’s funny to use here so I’ll pretend it’s a common rumor that nobody actually believes

MEANWHILE WITH THE UCHIHA Madara found and took custody of Team Seven and company, mostly because they’re like... jounin-level despite being less than three feet tall.

It involves a lot of Madara going "I want My New Children to love me!" and being sorely disappointed by half of them. Poor fucker got stuck with Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, Yamato, and Obito.

(KakaYamaObito are deaged by the time-travel to 10-13ish. The kids are deaged to 3-4. Everyone has memories to just after the fourth war or so.)

Karin sensed T7 and tagalong pretty much the second they popped out of Kamui, and told Sasuke, but he correctly guessed that Naruto would hunt him down eventually, and said they should enjoy the peace and quiet while they had it.

Sai pulls emotionless creepy smiles in an attempt to freak out Madara but since Madara's whole thing initially was "less children in war," he's... mostly just sad. Izuna wants to know who made his brother cry.

Madara makes a vaguely misogynistic comment that's typical for the period and Sakura just. Breaks his tibia.

Naruto is genuinely trying to treat Madara with the kind of respect a caretaker that Attempts To Care And Do Good By Them deserves, because Naruto is a good egg, but he's... three again. Which means he's a Hellion.

The literal toddlers (Naruto and Sakura are three-ish, Sai is four-ish) are, in fact, toddlers, so nobody really expects them to be able to do anything. Nobody bothers to test them beyond the basics of like. Can walk? Can talk? Can maybe hold knife? Like don’t get me wrong, they’re very competent toddlers, but their hands can barely wrap around a kunai. Their bodies are tiny. Their bones only just stopped being soft!

That said, the “tweens” (re: adults who got deaged but Less) have to get tested for their skills. Kakashi downplays himself to what he imagines a semi-competent eleven-year-old to be capable of. He thinks of, like, Neji maybe? Good, but not suspiciously good.

Obito enters an intangible state and refuses to participate. He has a Mangekyo. His body is half-Zetsu. Stop bothering him. He doesn’t want to do anything. They assign him babysitting duty for Team Seven since he can obviously defend pretty well, and Kakashi vouches for his abilities as a fighter.

Yamato decides to try to be just a little worse than Kakashi but at one point he panics and does Mokuton on instinct and now the entire Uchiha compound is screeching because did they just steal a Main Family Senju kid by accident?

Yamato: Should I tell them I was a science experiment? Kakashi: No.

Pranks galore! None of the other time-travelers even try to stop Naruto, except maybe Yamato.

Obito at the Uchiha compound is mostly "I don't want to participate" and then just uses Kamui to be intangible until people leave him alone. If it's not another time-traveler or Madara, he's not interested. He doesn't even care that much about Sai or Yamato, actually, so if it's not an original T7 member, he doesn't care, and if it's Madara, he's just here to make things Difficult.

The Kyuubi wanders up to the Uchiha compound one day and everyone's preparing for a battle, even Madara isn't confident that he can-- [BANG] "KURAMA!" [delighted squealing]

Naruto now has a pet. The entire clan is terrified. Kurama pokes his nose at Naruto's stomach and disappears into the memory of a seal.

Madara, frantically writing a letter to Hashirama "What do I do if my toddler is possessed?!?"

Hashirama: You have a toddler?!?!?! OMG you should organize playdates with Tobirama's kids! Madara: I'M GOING TO QUESTION THAT LATER, PLEASE HELP WITH THE POSSESSION THING

Kurama hunts down Naruto, and the Jinchuuriki situation is very much in the realm of "Dis Mine" Also a bit of "If I'm in the brat, there's at least one Mangekyo user in hearing distance who can and will risk his life to prevent brainwashing. (Kakashi. It’s Kakashi.)

Naruto: Kurama's one of my best friends! Every time traveler: Yeah, that tracks. Madara: [teakettle screeching]

Per @firebirdeternal: I'm just loving the visual of Giant Nightmare Terror Kurama kneeling down and pressing his nose to Naruto's Smol Chubby Toddler self and closing his eyes while Naruto pets him and giggles and every single battle-ready Uchiha is just. "wat"

Everybody else: Cool so Madara adopted a witch Uchiha Elders: We need to be careful of this horrible creature The younger generation of Uchiha: Okay that was weirdly serene and adorable and frankly the brat is really likeable when he's not being adhd as hell I think this is actually pretty dope.

Madara really wants to be a Good Dad but he has no idea how he ended up being "a dad" in the first place. He just! He cares a lot about this random assortment of kids! Some of them are from prominent clans and there should be search parties for the Senju kid with the Mokuton, or the Hatake brat, or the Uzumaki that doesn't look Uzumaki but definitely feels Uzumaki.... and SURE the only Uchiha of the bunch is a stranger who hates him for no reason Madara can come up with, but! He wants to be a good authority figure!

At least the Uzumaki appreciates that he's trying.

Seriously, though, there are clan kids and nobody’s looking for them, what’s up with that?

Kakashi still has a prize copy of Icha Icha and nobody in the Uchiha compound does a thorough check of his reading material until like three months in.

He is blamed for Naruto developing the Oiroke, because where ELSE would a toddler get such ideas? (Yamato and Obito both tell him he brought this on himself.)

Naruto waits until a Big Important Meeting lets out, something about tithes or a merchant contract, and just pulls a Harem no Jutsu in front of the entire group of Elders And Main Family. First he does a Mass Shadow Clone, which makes everyone turn on Sharingan because Fancy New Techniques to steal! Sure, they were late on the shadow clones, but the kid is clearly gearing up for something! The something is Oiroke.

Anime Nosebleeds everywhere. Most of the elders were hit. Izuna was hit. Madara is not bleeding from the nose, but he is very upset about having semi-accidentally sharingan-memorized his weird adoptee’s Sexy Older Female Alter Ego. There is yelling.

Naruto’s like “Oh, I missed some!” and decides to try again with Reverse Harem no Jutsu because there are old ladies among the Elders, and maybe some straight women representing a guild, and maybe some gay guys he missed! Madara is still not bleeding. (He’s very demi and tbh Naruto only would have succeeded if he’d tried to use Hashirama’s face. Naruto does not know this. He just figures Madara is ace like Sasuke and that no variant is going to work.)

Izuna gets another nosebleed and is just like “Well, this is not how I planned on coming out as bi, but--” “Izuna, I literally do not care about you being bi as long as one of us has an heir at some point, I’m more upset about the fact that my child has been corrupted!”

Back in the Senju compound, there is... a lot of screaming, honestly, but every time Karin and Suigetsu start trying to kill each other again, Tobirama just shrugs and tells them not to break anything.

Very easy-going caretaker, really. He's got some very deadly toddlers in hand, but they're still just toddlers.

Sasuke: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Suigetsu: Yeah, I might want to go see my clan at some point. Karin, clinging to Mito: Yeah, I want to go see my clan at some point. Juugo: Please never, ever take me to my clan. Ever. Please. I'll stay with Sasuke, thank you.

Naruto breaks out of the Uchiha compound the first time he enters Sage Mode, several months in (it took a while to get the privacy) because he feels Sasuke and lbr if Naruto knows where Sasuke is, nothing will stop him.

The Uchiha clansmen cannot catch the errant toddler. They fail to inform Madara until Naruto is already in Senju territory because nobody wanted to admit the toddler outmaneuvered them.

Naruto wasn’t sure how to get into the Senju Compound safely so he just goes full Kyuubi, bounds over the wall screaming SASUKEEEEE at the top of his lungs, and then shrinks back down to Tiny Brat size so he could hug his Bestest Friend Ever and cling like a limpet while Sasuke just sighs and stares at the wall.

Sakura ran after him.

Sai painted a bird and Yamato dragged Kakashi onto it to chase Naruto, because Kakashi is at a point of zen regarding Naruto's bullshit and fully trusts the kid to not die.

Obito refuses to look up from whatever he's doing and asks people why they think he cares.

“We told you to look after the toddlers!” “Why would you do that? Seems like poor planning on your part.”

Disappears when nobody's looking. Waits until the Ruckus at the Senju compound (where T7 has crashed in to tackle-hug Sasuke and Madara followed in and proceeded to get shouty, and nobody's dead or battling because they're too confused and also it's a comedy) has started to calm down, and then teleports in and demonstrates Mokuton just to make Madara's life harder when the Senju Elders start demanding answers.

His energy is very "I am here to make Madara's life harder" and Madara still doesn't know what he did wrong.

Madara: That brat has a Sharingan! Tobirama: Well THAT one has Mokuton! Obito: Yamato has it too. [angry teakettle noises]

Madara's first response to seeing Sasuke is to turn to Izuna and point aggressively at the toddler while making a tea-kettle noise "He looks just like you!" "He's four, he barely looks like anything!"

Naruto, tugging at Madara's hakama: You need to make a village with Hashirama so I can see Sasuke more often, cuz I don't wanna ditch you guys, but I gotta see Sasuke! He's my best friend! Madara, who is aware that he could fight this child but really doesn't want to, and also knows that a tantrum thrown by Naruto or Sasuke is capable of leveling mountains: Right, yes, we'll get right on that.

tbh Madara wants the village anyway but "The bijuu-whisperer said he wants it to happen" is a great way to push things forward.

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