#or like What if they're making fun of me and think I'm crazy or stupid

[fitzselfships]

My paranoia is like. Super bad lately (it's really bad today for some reason) and I haven't been checking notifications, asks, messages, etc as a result so pls just know I'm not ignoring anyone!! Just struggling with the mental illness stuff

[sanguineterrain]

Would you be willing to write a Jason Todd x reader inspired by the bulletproof vest scene from Criminal Minds? Maybe it's early in their relationship and they're fussing after hearing he's been shot. Maybe with an annoyed Damian breaking up their flirting?

(Here is the scene if you don't know what I'm talking about!! youtube.com/watch?v=C2bjYavXWec)

Haha this was such a fun prompt! Thanks for sending 🩷 I love prompts inspired by tv scenes

jason todd x gn!reader. minor injury, fluff, suggestive/implied nsfw, making out, implied timkon

****

Jason opens the door, looking extra comfy in his GU sweatpants and a Wonder Woman t-shirt. His curls stick up in fifteen different directions, making him look like an overgrown chick.

You'd coo if your heart hadn't been in your stomach all night.

"Hey, ba—"

You launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. The force of your embrace makes Jason stumble back a step. You suddenly remember his injury and reel back.

"Baby, what's goin' on?" His eyes are wide. Jason holds onto you, inspecting you right back.

"I'm so sorry!" you say, hands fluttering over his body. "Oh God, did I reopen stitches? Fuck, fuck—"

"Sweetheart." Jason places both hands on your shoulders and guides you away from the door. He kicks it shut with his foot. You both settle on the couch. "What're you talking about? Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" You sit up. Jason rests his head on the back of the couch, watching you. "God, Jason, you got shot! I heard you caught fire this morning so I got here as quickly as I could. Did I reopen stitches? Be honest because I swear to God, Jay, if you lie to me about that..."

"Honey. Oh my love. Y'know I'm crazy about ya?" Jason holds your face with both hands and squishes your cheeks. He's smiling. "I got shot in my bulletproof vest. No stitches required. Who told you I got shot?"

You take his hands and hold them to your chest. "Well, I was listening to the comms 'cause I can't sleep when you have overnight missions and—"

"You haven't slept all night?" Jason frowns. "Baby, you need to sleep."

You scoff. "None of that matters, Jay. What I'm hearing is that you still got shot!"

"'S not a big deal, honest. Just a few bruises. Leslie wrapped me up, see?"

Jason lifts his shirt. His ribs are wrapped in an ACE bandage. You feel around for a secret wound.

"No blood?" you ask, poking at the edges.

Jason laughs and catches your hand. He kisses your knuckles. "No, sweetness. No blood. 'S just a little sore." He lets his shirt fall. You're only a little disappointed by the loss of his bare skin.

"Why would Bruce send you out in a bulletproof vest? Of all the stupid—usually you wear your armor! That's actually bulletproof! Vests are bullet-resistant. That's like saying Gotham rats are toxin-proof. Just because they don't die from the Joker gas anymore doesn't mean they aren't higher than kites when it happens."

Jason kisses your cheek. It turns your insides ooey-gooey. He's always so warm, so solid.

"Mm. I'll call Merriam-Webster tomorrow and relate your beef with 'em. And to answer your question, I was undercover, so no armor. But I am fine. Okay?"

"I'll be the judge of that, mister."

You hike his shirt up to his neck and pat down his chest. Jason honest-to-God giggles, which only encourages you. You pinch the soft skin under his biceps, then kiss down his sternum. He squirms, sliding so he's lying on the couch.

"Tickles," Jason says, letting you love on him.

"Excuse me, sir, I'm trying to conduct a very serious medical examination," you say, biting your lip to keep from laughing. "I think I'll need a closer look at these."

You kiss Jason's right pectoral, and his face flushes pink like it always does because you know how sensitive he is there and how his sensitivity makes him shy. Your mouth grazes his nipple and a tiny grunt pushes out of his throat.

"'M just a piece of meat to you, huh?" He catches you with a hand on your hip.

You smile and nip his neck, careful of his bandage. Jason's breath hitches.

"Please, baby, show mercy. Want me to get on my knees an' beg? I will."

"Sir, that is highly unprofessional language for this procedure. I'm afraid I'll have to give you an oral exam to see what's causing that filthy mouth of yours."

"Yeah, I'll show you filthy," Jason murmurs, cupping the back of your head. "Let's see how filthy y'get when I—"

"Oh my God, stop."

"Todd!"

You freeze with Jason's mouth on your neck and your shirt rucked up. Tim and Damian are at the edge of the living room. Tim looks nauseous. Damian's mouth is shriveled like a prune.

You scramble off of Jason, mortified, and smooth down your shirt. Jason leisurely turns his head, still holding onto you. He sighs.

"What d'you brats want?"

"To erase the last sixty seconds from my brain," Tim says.

Jason grins, all teeth. "That can be arranged."

You roll your eyes. "We're sorry, guys. Did you need Jason?"

"Yes. Father wants you back at the Cave immediately for debrief," Damian says, glancing at Jason's exposed bandages with tangible disgust.

You tug down Jason's shirt. His mouth quirks briefly before he registers his brother's request.

"Oh, hell to the fucking no. I got back two hours ago. Tell him to fuck off."

"I think you tell him enough for all of us," Tim says. "It's just a debrief. Babs started timing him and he's been good about keeping them short."

"He can email me. I'm not going to the Cave for a damn debrief."

Tim squints at Jason, then you. "I see. You know, you're awfully energetic for someone who should be recovering. Leslie benched Dick the last time he overexerted himself."

Jason raises an eyebrow. "I wouldn't be speaking about exertion after what you and Connor did at the Kents' fourth of July picnic last year, Timbelina."

Tim somehow turns more pale. Damian whips his head around.

"Drake? What is he talking about?"

"Nothing. C'mon, Damian, let's go. Jason can debrief later."

He hauls a protesting Damian out the fire escape. Jason waves after them.

"Uh-huh, take care now, bye-bye! Close the window on your way out!"

The window slams shut. You look at Jason, eyes wide.

"What...?"

He shrugs. "Brotherly blackmail. All in good spirit."

"I see. You really don't need to go? I can wait."

"Nah. Bruce can wait. I have a very important injury that needs tending to."

You roll your eyes, smiling. "Uh-huh. Are you sure you're okay?"

Jason kisses you. "Positive," he says against your mouth. "This is nothing. But I appreciate you worrying about little ol' me."

"I'll always worry about you, Jay."

He ducks his head and nudges your neck like a cat. "I know, baby. 'S why I'm the luckiest guy in the whole wide world."

[brittscafe]

𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮

Pairing: Geto Suguru x fem! reader.

Summary: Geto Suguru convinces his girlfriend to wear a vibrator that he can control and can't seem to get enough of teasing and edging her.

Request: Saw your requests were open! Asking for JJK can you please do an NSFW for Geto. He convinces his girlfriend to wear a remote controlled vibrator and makes her run errands while wearing it, edging her each time. @seireiteihellbutterfly

A/n: Hiii <3 Omg this has been in my drafts for agessss and I've been working on it and I've enjoyed it so so so much and I love me some Suguru 😩😩

Content: Edging, Geto being a big, cocky tease, good girl used often, vibrator being used, sexual acts in public.

Ko-fi link (anything is appreciated <3)

"Geto, you're crazy," you comment, shaking your head and chuckling in disbelief at the tiny remote controlled vibrator he's holding in his hand.

He cocks an eyebrow at you, wearing a sly grin across his face. His raven hair is down, shaping his sharp jawline.

"Come on, y/n. It'll be like a fun game," he coos out, walking up to you and cupping your face with his free hand. You lean into his touch and shrug your shoulders.

"Yeah? For you, maybe."

"Baby, please. It'll be fun and you'll be such a good girl," Geto's voice slowly gets deeper and you feel a tingle in between your legs.

"Fine," you roll your eyes with amusement.

"Good girl," Geto's voice rumbles out and he grabs onto your pants puling them down. You little out a tiny gasp from the sudden act and you giggle.

His fingers dance along the top of your underwear and he licks his lips, pulling down your underwear. Geto sticks the tiny vibrator inside your underwear and pulls it back up along with your pants.

The vibrator is cold and sits nicely up against your clit.

"Now what?" you ask, placing your hands on your hips.

"We need to run to the store."

"The store?! Suguru you're crazy if you think I'm gonna go out there in public with a vibrator in between my legs."

"Fine...as long as you're okay with having no food for dinner," he explains and your eyes widen.

"We're out of food?" you sigh out, lowering your head. Geto's eyes become filled with excitement as he hovers above you.

"Ok, then let's go."

You keep glancing over your shoulder in the store at Geto follows behind you. The aisle you're in is empty and a smirk starts to form along Geto's face.

The little remote is inside his pants pocket and he slowly reaches inside, turning the remote on. You stop in your tracks as the vibrator starts to vibrate up against your clit and you exhale deeply.

The vibrations are gentle enough that you can hold yourself together, but they're slowly getting to you.

"You okay, y/n?" Geto asks, whispering in your ear behind you. He wraps an arm around your waist from behind and pulls you into his body.

You scoff and tug away from his body, glaring at him over your shoulder. You continue walking down the aisle and Geto stands a few feet away from you, his thick finger pressing down the button on the remote.

The vibrations suddenly become faster against your sensitive clit, surely starting to get a little red in your underwear. You stumble down the aisle, eyes locked onto the items on the shelf, trying to focus.

All the vibrations build up against your clit and a moan slips out from your lips. You slap your hand over your mouth and grab onto the shelf, trying to control yourself.

If he keeps this up any longer, you're gonna cum your pants. Your stomach twists into tight knots, ready to explode.

You whimper and groan into your hand, rocking your hips up against the vibrator. Geto watches you carefully with half lidded eyes and stalks up to you.

"Aw, what's wrong baby?" Geto coos out, gazing down at you with hazy eyes. His voice is innocent as if he's not torturing you with that stupid remote.

"Curse you, Suguru," you mumble out through gritted teeth, letting your head fall onto his chest as you feel the vibrations in between your thighs start to calm down and fade away into nothing. Your hands reach up and grab onto his shirt, twisting it in your fists.

Suguru lets out a chuckle that rumbles deep in his chest and he pats your head. You breathe heavily and your clit buzzes from the pleasure it was just given.

"Can't handle it, baby?" Suguru asks, putting his free hand into the pocket and pressing the remote. The item inside your underwear starts vibrating against your clit and your legs about buck out from underneath you.

A smirk forms along Suguru's face as your grip on him becomes tighter and you whimper.

"Shut...the...fuck...up," you pant out, lifting your face up from his chest and glaring up at him. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip, pressing another button and making the vibrations go faster.

Your mouth gapes open, a pathetic moan leaving your lips. Geto chuckles and places his hand underneath your jaw.

He loves seeing you crumble and trying to hold it together in public.

"Oh, honey...if anyone needs to be quiet, it's you. We don't want everyone in the store to hear you moaning, right?" Suguru asks, cocking an eyebrow.

You nod your head and squeeze your legs together.

"Suguru...please. I can't handle it," your voice shakes with desperation and Suguru feels a tingle down below. He bites his bottom lip, just thinking about how much it turns him on seeing you struggle to keep yourself together.

Suguru glances around the store and sees the bathrooms in the back, just a few feet behind the two of you.

The two of you make a run into the men's bathroom, thank the lord it's empty. You almost collapse on the floor as your clit becomes sore from the constant vibrations.

"Aw baby, are you gonna cum for me?" Geto asks as pleasure ripples through your body. Sweat gleams along your forehead and you rapidly nod your head, hands still gripping on Geto's shirt.

You swear the bathroom was getting foggy because of how much you are panting. Geto's eyes scan over your face, twisting with such immense pleasure and he chuckles.

You whine loudly and wiggle against Suguru, mouth gaping open and crying out as the high hits you. A series of whiny, puffy moans leave your moans and Geto holds you close to him.

His hand runs up and down your back as you feel the cum leak out from your pussy and onto your underwear.

"Good girl. That's my good girl," Geto coos you, hand patting the top of your head as you pant heavily, coming down from your high.

"Suguru," is the only thing you can breathe out, resting your head against his chest.

"Come on, it's time to go home since someone creamed their pants," Geto teases you and you groan out, pressing your hands into his chest and playfully shoving him away.

Curse you Suguru Geto...

[etherealstar-writes]

I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 6

pairings: lionesses x reader

summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.

part: six

part one here

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

yourusername: a little photo dump

yourbestiesusername: i'm really proud of that first pic i took of you, i'm coming for your career

↳ yourusername: oi photography's my thing, go find another career

lucybronze: this is cute. you are really beautiful! ❤️

↳ yourusername: OMG NO WAY TYSM!! you're amazing ilysm!!

↳ lucybronze: thank you! @ yourusername

usera omg. the REAL lucy bronze commented on your post!!

↳ yourusername i am not okay rn

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

the imposter

YOU GUYS

GUESS WHAT OMG

the REAL karate kid

what happened?

lotte

is everything alright?

the imposter

NO EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY

neev

you're kinda scaring me now

the imposter

i know i'm not a woso fan yet

bcuz i'm still incredibly uncultured

and literally don't know anyone yet

elton

yeah we know

the imposter

BUT LUCY BRONZE COMMENTED ON MY POST

I AM SCREAMING

the REAL karate kid

WHAT

neev

WOAH WOAH

hold on

stairway

that old grandma can actually use insta??

rusty metal

OI

that is so rude and offensive!

to that old grandma ....

the REAL karate kid

SHUT UP

rusty metal

the disrespect children have nowadays

unbelievable

well i'm glad she made your day y/n <3

the imposter

thank you!!!

i'm gonna go thrive in my happiness for the

rest of my life for a celebrity noticing me

peace out

lotte

well i'm glad she's happy

willybum

i need to up my game now

the REAL karate kid

me too

stairway

y'all are such simps

neev

says one of the simps herself

stairway

shut up niamh

✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦

THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM

brightness

you know

i just remembered that y/n is still in here

and we don't know like anything about her

at all

door knob

oh yeah

we only know her name

the imposter

i literally only kinda know your names

and that is it

neev

she got a point there

the imposter

honestly i don't get why i'm even still in this chat

not that i'm complaining

stairway

you've been fun to talk to these past few weeks

unlike most of the people on this group chat

who simply decide to ignore their notifications

elton

yeah fr

i didn't feel the need to make a new chat tbh

the imposter

i'm honoured?

elton

you should be

the imposter

uh okay ...

well

i'm 22

i'm a pro photographer and media editor/manager

and uhh i live in london?

idk what else to say tbh

stairway

photography's so cool!

the imposter

thank you!

earpsy

is toone being 10x more annoying

because i'm sick or?

the REAL karate kid

nah she's just that annoying

elton

now that is just rude

willybum

she has an encylcopedia on

how to be annoying

elton

STOP SAYING THAT WORD

wait

guys

neev

oh no

willybum

today on stupid stuff toone is going to say!

elton

oi! i'm not stupid!

the REAL karate kid

you literally thought germany started with j

elton

I WAS UNDER PRESSURE OKAY

anyway as i was about to say

isn't it crazy to think that the money you have

has probably been or could be in like

a stripper's bra or underwear at some point

the REAL karate kid

why does your brain function this way 😭

stairway

wait a sec-

....

she has a point

neev

STOP 😭

that is ALL what i'm gonna think about now

the imposter

never touching cash again that's for sure 😭

willybum

donating all my cash to the trash now

lotte

oh my days

why

just why

meado

WHAT DID I JUST READ 😭😭

part seven here

[love-belle]

tujhe kitna chahne lage !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the entire world is convinced that they do not like each other but it's actually quite the opposite.

or

for when they make you go crazy in a good way. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - another desi!reader bc why the fuck not!!!!!! hope you like it, i love you so much <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 758,427 others

yourusername lando norizz said i sparkled (derogatory)

tagged landonorris

6,829 comments

username NAH MARRY ME RN

username sirf ek chance plzzz (just one chance please)

username MAATE???? ( mother )

username OH MY GOD

username nah im in love what yhe fuxk

carmenmmundt you shine ❤️‍🔥

*liked by yourusername*

username THAT LEHNGA THOUGH

username traditional clothes hit different and that's just facts

username hayeee nazar na lage ( no evil eye )

username SHE ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS

username lando rn: ur a vampire

-> username forgive me in my head that was wayyyyy more funny

username marry me PLEASE

carlossainz55 i'm blinded

-> yourusername STOP MAKING FUN OF MY SEQUINS

-> landonorris only i'm allowed to make fun of her so back off sainz

-> carlossainz55 child i taught you everything you know now

-> landonorris OMG DAD STOP EMBARASSING ME

-> yourusername i'm blocking both of u

username she's so W

username traditions attire 🔛🔝

username i love all the drivers just randomly popping up on her post and leaving after pissing her off like that's MY source of entertainment and serotonin

username mother slays 🔥🔥🔥

mickschumacher your aunt (???) is setting me up with her daughter help

-> yourusername walk AWAY

username not the desi aunties trying to play matchmaker 💀💀💀

username i love her so much omg

username waiting for lando's comments before going on with my day like it's the morning news or something

landonorris you DO sparkle

-> landonorris disco light like looking witch

-> yourusername i'm honestly gonna go and tell lewis that ur being mean to me

-> landonorris WAIT NO

landonorris you sparkle (🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮)

-> yourusername here lewishamilton

-> lewishamilton lando no

-> landonorris I WASN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING

landonorris imagine wearing silver on silver

-> yourusername you wear dumb on stupid everyday do u see me complaining

-> usernme nah she gagged him

landonorris boo 👎👎👎

-> yourusername ur so obsessed with me ☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ go on 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🙏🙏🙏 log out 💯💯💯❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥😘😘😘

username they make me so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i want what they have

username just make out already

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 789,514 others

landonorris when y/n managed to *not* burn the kitchen down while boiling water

tagged yourusername

7,826 comments

username lando babe this js proves that you're all sunshine and smiles when it comes to her

username they hate each other???? lol

username nah what in the enemies to lovera shit is this

username HIS SMILE OMG

username sunshine boy

username he's so adorable

username nah they're definitely together

charles_leclerc says the one who burned the hello kitten mittens

-> landonorris IT WAS AN ACCIDENT and YOUR hello kitty mittens

-> charles_leclerc LANDO WE AGREED TO KEEP THAT OFF THE INTERNET

-> username me randomly discovering that charles loves hello kitty in the comments of a post about y/n from lando is so wild if u think about it

username hiii im new to f1 can someone please explain who y/n is and why do lando and her hate each other :)

-> username ofc angel <3 she's the daughter of one of the BIGGEST sponsors for f1 and she's like very close with most of the drivers and their partners and attends as many races as she can!!!!

-> username lando and her have had a very *rocky* relationship since the beginning bc the first time they met, lando pushed her into the pool and then she pushed him into a fountain so !!

-> username they're all currently in india atm bc y/n's sister is getting married and it's like the event of the decade!!!!!!!

-> username NO BC THAT FOUNTAIN CLIP WOULD FOREVER BE ICONIC

danielricciardo this is not helpful in beating the crush allegations !

-> landonorris shut the fuck up !

username he's so ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

username not danny ric calling him out

username this comments section is WILD

username they're together idgaf they HAVE to be

username atp they're just playing with us

username no bc lando and y/n are SO iconic like from the moment they met to here like all of their public interactions are so entertaining

-> username one of them is always ready to throw hands with the other one and most of the time it's y/n

-> username nah bc i know my girl is DONE with his shit

yourusername you forgot how to crack an egg.

-> landonorris YOU CRACKED AN EGG ON MY FOREHEAD

-> yourusername HOW IS THAT RELEVANT RIGHT NOW

yourusername *when y/n is actually the love of my life

-> landonorris hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! babe what!!!!!!!!!

-> danielricciardo both of you are so dumb 😭😭😭

-> maxverstappen1 oh my god

-> charles_leclerc what just happened

-> username "babe" SAY WHAT

username im gonna go and walk my fish

-> username i suddenly need to iron air

username they're idiots (affectionate)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 897,527 others

yourusername tujhe kitna chahne lage ( just how much i love you )

tagged landonorris

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 897,426 others

landonorris she's mean but she buys me chocolate so ❤️

tagged yourusername

9,457 comments

username AHHHSHHSHSHD

username i am not okay

username IM SO

username HER.

username im heartbroken 💔💔💔💔💔💔 both of my parasocial relationships gone just like that

username nah bc she can fuck me up and i would say thank u and sorry for wasting your time

maxverstappen1 she's mean to all of us but she doesn't get us shit

-> yourusername aren't you like a millionaire

-> maxverstappen1 SO ARE YOU

-> yourusername lol i get p and kelly chocolates

-> kellypiquet 🥰

-> maxverstappen1 you're never getting to babysit p ever again

-> yourusername WAIT NO I'M SO SORRY

username they both said fuck soft launch

username ENEMIES TO LOVERS

username apna time aayega ( our time will come )

danielricciardo idk she makes me chai

-> landonorris didn't she almost hit you with a rolling pin because you said "chai tea"

-> yourusername it was honestly so deserved

-> danielricciardo i am TRAUMATIZED

username LOOK!! AT!! THEM!!

username we've come so far oh my god

username y/n posting a couple dumb pictures of lando and a cute one of them together and then disabling the comments while lando posts these MASTERPIECES is so on brand of them

-> username cool gf 🤝 obsessed bf

yourusername i am NOT mean

-> landonorris sure

-> yourusername im not!!!!!!!!!!

-> landonorris sure!!!!!!!!!

yourusername love u ig

-> landonorris guess again

-> yourusername I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH

-> landonorris k

-> yourusername blocked

yourusername hey ur kinda pretty

-> landonorris hey you're very pretty

username THESE BITCHES

username i feel like i've entered an alternate dimension

username ngl im gonna miss y/n and lando shit talking each other

[jevilowo]

MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS TF2 SHIPS

For funsies

SCIENCE PARTY:

fun ship, but they're GodComplex4GodComplex and I fear that would only end in disaster

TOASTED SANDVICH:

if there is one heavypyro fan on this stupid baka planet it is me. shout out to menacing quiet individuals who like violence but have a soft side fr.

BLOODY SUIT:

literally The Original toxic yaoi rivals to lovers red blue combo ship. speeding bullet and napoleon complex fans WISH they had our shared update and corresponding voice lines

BATTING HELMET: (scout n solly)

i just think it's really funny trust me on this one guys. have you seen them in the fourth comic it's a constant "yes, and" bit between the two of them. soldier's love language is choking people out.

HIT AND A MISS: (scout n pauling)

like most ms pauling ships, i'm only into it if scout's a cool lesbian. which he is not most of the time.

RED OKTOBERFEST:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA literally the ship of all time save me heavymedic save me. if they don't smooch in the next comic i will become jay pinkerton's personal sleep paralysis demon.

SPEEDING BULLET:

my feelings on it are Complicated. twas my first love (otp) in this fandom, but the overabundance of twinky uwu scout and daddy dom snoipah has built up some resentment on my part. call me back when people stop making up imaginary life problems for sniper to comfort scout over.

NAPOLEON COMPLEX: (Spy n Engie)

literally just rarjack if they were boys and not horses to me and i'm not even an mlp fan. it's alright, just doesn't really stick out to me.

SPYMA:

LITERALLY THE POWERCOUPLE EVER TRULY A LOVE STORY FOR THE AGES or at least the version that exists in my head is. i have so much made up spyma lore it's crazyyy. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with sniper it's quickly becoming my favourite genre of fanart (i have seen at maximum three)

SUPPORT SANDWICH: (spy n sniper n medic)

in my opinion, it is healthy for everyone to have at least one ship they just like bc they think it's hot. for me, that is support sandwich. not much else to say on that the fics are all banging go look them up.

SNIDOS: (sniper n GLaDOS)

hell yeah.

ADMINPAULING:

i used to like it a lot, but timelining implies ms pauling's been working for helen since her mid teens at the latest so i no longer like it. 4chan leaks my beloathed pleaseee don't make them kiss i think it would kill me in a bad way

URINE SAMPLE: (medic n sniper)

there's a lot of werewolf and vampire stuff for these two on ao3 which is pretty fun. and i'm way more likely to find sniper angst under the medicsniper tag than sb and bs which is always a plus.

FRENCH TOAST: (spyro)

have you seen that one animation where pyro gives birth to spy's child and gordon freeman is there at one point. yeahhhh. the ship's pretty cute tho spy would be sooo soft for pyro they'd light his cigarettes for him.

BOOTS AND BOMBS:

THE FORBIDDEN RED/BLU ROMANCE GOES CRAZY I ADORE IT. same team bnb is pretty banging too. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with zhanna.

SPYPAULING:

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. imagine. spy x pauling. yuri. that will be all.

SWORDVAN:

SWORDVAN MY LOVE!!! idk what it is about demo and sniper together but HELL YEAH TOP 5 SHIPS FR FR. shout out to the guy still writing monsterous intent, they're like single handedly carrying the swordvandom.

TEXAS TOAST:

I used to think "this is cute" but then my friend got really really into it and that hyped me up into "THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS OF ALL TIME" territory. bonus points if they're yuri! shout out to Technicolor California, my current favourite fanfic of all time (it overtook running blind in the interal rankings). oh yeah insert mandatory "no hate to engie and pyro father son dynamic preferers" message here lol.

Ok that's enough I will cover more at some point maybe.

[sabertoothwalrus]

OK PREFACING WITH IM SORRY IF I ALREADY SENT THIS EXACT ASK BUT MY WIFI KILLED ITSSLF AS I SENT IT SO IDK IF IT ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH. but in case it didn’t . i know youve gotten this countless times in the past because i blog stalked just in case youve mentioned something similar before but i need to know if you have any specific inspirations when you draw exaggerated expressions specifically like these two images of marcille. ive actually cried laughing over this comic and being able to communicate this type of visceral emotion is such an insane skill and ive followed your art for probably close to a decade through various fandoms so watching you develop this style has been fucking awesome and epic. like i cannot articulate how funny these are to me i just need you to understand i look at this comic to inspire me to draw now. the closest comparison i can draw to the feelings they evoke are like those mspaint reaction images and also mspaint tails i included for reference even though you probably know exactly what im talking about anyways but its actually so much harder to do that intentionally when you study art. also i lied you literally don’t even need to answer this i just had to let you know how obsessed i am over your silly comics and now ive written out a whole ass discussion post about it. im sorry if this is weird at all i think my daily prescribed amphetamines r wearing off and i know this is such a dumb specific thing to fixate on and im so sorry if its not something you want to hear about your art. ive just always seen that as an artist this type of expressive stupid silly style is something that comes after a significant amount of time and practice and study and style development despite being “simple” in theory. its just so cool to have worked with your own style so much that youre able to go “off model” from it and still maintain consistency with the rest of the piece. i said it already and im sorry this is actually rendundant now but the ability to communicate such raw emotion somehow decreases from at its height when someone is a beginner artist learning how to proportion and keep a steady line and what looks “normal” but somehow it all comes full circle because taking all that experience and using it to almost return to where you started but in a fully informed and intentional way so you can make choices to draw characters like this when the situation calls for it is just dhcidogakgoshfhw. i think i need to cut myself off or im going to talk in circles im sorry tumblr user sabertoothwalrus i just am fascinated by your style and progress and the years you’ve dedicated to art can be seen in so many places but this is just one that stands out to me specifically.

MMMMM what a fun question!!!

I'm not gonna lie, I think it's just Letting A Drawing Be Bad. I definitely think the people that struggle with this the most are people who have genuinely very pretty art styles, to the point of being kind of perfectionist about it. and to Draw Funny often means Drawing Fast and Weird. Pretty is kind of the antithesis of funny (unless being pretty is the punchline). do drawings that make yourself laugh. tracing/lining funny sketches almost always makes them less funny.

one of my favorite types of humor is when it skews more deadpan, actually. This is one of the reasons I love Adventure Time. minimal expressions and flat line delivery + absurd context is a really good combo. the key to comedy has more to do with contrast! if your drawings are allllll crazy ren & stimpy all the time, they're not funny anymore cause it's just "normal". if it's all subdued UNTIL it's extreme, and vice versa, then it's funny. The reason this comic is so funny is because of the complete lack of any expression. I feel like the one you sent of Marcille shouting "WHAT" is funnier when you know how much she tries to be dainty and feminine and delicate, how much she values her appearance, and how averse she is to "gross" or "weird" things.

something I find really annoying (and this is with comics/animation in general, not the expressions themselves) is when the joke goes on for too long. Like you'll have the joke, then the punchline, and THEN the characters reacting to the punchline??? Like the author didn't trust that their audience would find the joke funny, so they basically drew in a laugh track. But, this is distinct from a character's reaction being the punchline (like how the examples you gave from my Marcille comic are). MY POINT IS sometimes expressions aren't as funny on their own as you think, and context can affect how you feel about it!

as far as inspirations go!

my own face! even if I don't have a mirror, I like making the expressions myself so I can "feel" where the points of tension on my face are, and it gives me a sense of what to exaggerate.

my brother's art, believe it or not! we've been trying to make each other laugh with our drawings since we were kids, and he's really good at it.

ATLA has some great expressions

OK KO has been a reallyyyy good source for me lately. That show is so tailored to my sense of humor and the expressions and line deliveries feel exactly like the kinds of things I'd come up with. The tone, timing, and art style are all really close to the tv show pitch I'm working on, so when I feel like I've "strayed" too much from it (like after drawing a bunch of dungeon meshi, and my art feels tighter and... idk "manga-ier"?) I like to go and watch a couple episodes of OK KO to loosen back up

A lot of things like OG Spongebob, Calvin & Hobbes, the Simpsons, Chowder, etc etc

memes in general. if it makes you laugh, keep it in mind

and lastly, I wouldn't say I ever try to mimic funny expressions I see. Like if I watch a show for inspo, I'm not pausing it to copy specific drawings, I'm just trying to notice patterns and pay attention to what about it I find funny.

talking about being funny is really bizarre and I dunno if it makes it lose some of the magic. Ultimately it's something you can't think about too much, and just gotta go with your gut.

[lndsismaeverything]

"𝙷𝚎𝚢 𝚔𝚒𝚍 ! " | Gojo satoru

Summary : reader was enjoying the festival with her bf but got dumped last minute they where supposed to meet. On the vergere of tears she is met with a rude kid .

Gojo : 12 years old reader: 16 years old

Note: pure fluff, slight cursing , not proof read

"Let's break up "

That was the last sentence you ex-boyfriend said before hanging up on you. You where waiting for him about an hour and a half for your boyfriend now ex-boyfriend.

" well this sucks..." You thought tears started to fall down you cheeks

" wow what a loser." A voice said , You turned your head to see a kid with snowy white hair and ocean like eyes,probably around 10 years old looking at you, eating a dango

" what the hell do you know kid! " you yelled at him pissed that he just called you a loser when you just got dumped

" probably more then you " he said while chewing

" like hell, you not even old enough to date ! " you said angrily

" And what's your problem anyway, kid! " you said hands on your hip glaring at him. He shrugged throwing the dango stick behind him and puts his hands in his pockets .

" this kid..." You sigh putting your hand on your forehead.

" I'm 12 years old I'm not a kid. My name is satoru. Gojo satoru " he introduced himself. Which you just look at him confused

" uhm this if the part where you introduced back , stupid "

" what makes you think I wanna introduced myself to a brat like you?" you said " and where are you parents anyway " looking around the crowded people. Maybe he's lost?

" they're always busy." He said looking down

" they are never around that much. To be honest I don't even think they're my parents as they are just strangers to me " he then looked up , you follow his gazes at a family of three .

" oh what should I be saddened by your story or something " you said crossing your arm while rolling your eyes.

" that's why your boyfriend dumped you , because loving you is like loving a block of ice . " gojo comment

" why you little shit " you grab his head and ruffled his hair( which was surprisingly fluffy) creating full of knots .

If you had to be honest it was a bit sad that he didn't get any attention from his parents. And he most be the only child since he didn't mention any siblings

" get your hands off of me " gojo complained which you just continue to do so to his dismay.

You eventually let him go which he just muttered " crazy bitch-"

" finished that sentence and you'll see what happens to you "

" no you can't " you yelled back at him

" why not " gojo pouted

" you already had two of them "you argue with the kid

" well it's not my fault they made it taste so good " he argued back

" no is no and that's final. "

" please, y/n? " he pleads with giving you the puppy eyes

" I said no."

You and the kid end up spending your time together at the festival. Since your ex boyfriend won't be showing shop and gojo parents doesn't have time .

" hey, let's try that one! " gojo pointed at the small stand selling some kind of sweets

" 5000 yen?! "You gasp looking at the big bowl of parfait

" you think I'm made of money or something and why do I have to pay for you, kid ?! "

" because I already spend all of mine earlier " he said nonchalantly

" well I'm not buying it."

You end up buying the expensive desert. when he started a tantrum making the people turn around while whisper and look at you.

You sigh and looked at the kid next to you " I hope your happy because I'm broke now . Thanks to you "

After gojo finish which was Surprisingly way to fast, the fire works started to play. You both watch as the night sky lit up .

You had fun today that the least you expected. Thanks to the kid next to you he took your mind off of your ex boyfriend .

" hey kid " you said softly

" uhm?"

" thanks."

" for what? " he said looking at you confused

" for today " you turn and looked at him smiling while ruffling his hair.

Which made gojo Satoru blush a little

" hey well meet again okay " gojo said all of the sudden . As you guys where about to part ways

" I don't know about that " you said to him

" don't worry we will because you know jujutsu " Your eyes widden in shocked. How does he know? You hid your curse energy from all jujutsu users.

" because I really enjoy spending my time with you too and not alone...." He blush with a pout hating to admit it. Which made your heart warm up a little

" sorry kid but the jujutsu world isn't for me " you bend down, down his level .

" why " gojo frowned

" uhm well I'm kinda really weak " you said in embarrassment, scratch the back of your head

" I'm practically below a 4th grader which I never through was possible . And my curse technique are basically useless. I'll basically die if I was send out for a mission "

" your technique isn't useless if you see it in another light. You think it's useless because none has the same ability as you and because you don't know how to use it " gojo said pocking your forehead

" making origami and making come to live is definitely useless "

" well I'm the strongest. I can protect you " gojo said seriously which made you laugh a little.

" you seriously think so? "

" I'm GOJO satoru. "

Right.. That why the name sounded familiar. He's one of the GOJO clans. The top three most powerful clans of the jujutsu world.

" I possessed the ability of the six eyes and limitless so I can protect you."

" that's very nice of you..kid" you patted his head as he blushes

" so you well west again?" GOJO said with hope in his eyes

" lets let fate decide if we'll meet again okay?"

" well if fate doesn't allow us to meet. I'll find you " gojo said his heart beating a bit to fast for his like. You where a bit dumbfounded by his confession but smile anyway " okay"

[16 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 ]

you heard the door open . You turned around to greet the customer but was met by 6ft tall man with a blindfold, is he blind? You though but he doesn't have a cane.He looks around but stop when he noticed you.

" hello , sir how can I help you? "

" found you. "

" uh...?" You where confused of what he just said. Found me? Since when are we playing hide and seek?

" you don't remember me huh? "

" sorry you most have gotten the wrong person "

" ouch. You wounded me" he said dramatic

" sorry but I've never met you before-" the guy took his blindfold off , revealing his ocean blue eyes . Just like that kid you met years ago . Then it hits you he was that kid !

" no way..."

" I told you I'll find you if fate doesn't was us to meet "

[gothamusing]

THE PENGUIN, EPISODE ONE. a collection of memes derived from episode one of the penguin series, for roleplaying purposes. feel free to edit as you see fit. do not steal. (18+).

i see you've made yourself at home.

what the fսck are you talking about?

you got some big shoes to fill.

you think i'm an idiot?

we keep a stash in the loft if you want a hit.

that's not why i'm here.

you know what i like most about you? you are who you are. you couldn't change if you tried.

i'm talking about revolutionizing the game.

fuck. look at you salivating.

this is power, right?

when i was kid, there was a gangster, real old-school type. he was a big deal.

you want me to be like some small-time asshоlе?

this is your dream!

you really think people'd make a float of your dumb face and march it down the street, chanting your goddamn name?

what a little bitch.

you messed with the wrong fucking guy on the wrong fucking night!

jesus, take a breath.

hey, look at me.

how far do you think you'd get?

you and me, we're in this together now.

look what you fucking made me do.

you're gonna do everything i say.

i feel better. you feel better?

you ever been to that corner mart, next to the... uh, coin-o-matic?

they still sell those slush puppies?

you alone?

i need an alibi. ideally, for the whole night.

sounds like we had fun.

i asked for extra pickles, and they give me two? so what, a normal amount of pickles is one? makes no goddamn sense.

the smart play here is to kill you and stuff you in the trunk with stinky, be done with both of youse.

if you step out of line just once, i swear to god, I'll gut you like a fսcking fish. do you understand?

we ain't got a lot of time.

we all got our own vices.

nine times out of ten, these top-tier guys wanna meet face-to-face to feel big, so i make myself small, they feel better about themselves, and i get to go back to work.

i'm messing with you.

maybe look for your sense of humor. it's gotta be here somewhere.

so, uh, we got something to celebrate, or what?

this is my operation, you can't just shut it down.

there's blood in the water, everyone knows it.

the last thing we need is a god damn gang war!

you will do as you're told.

you're free to leave.

at the end of the day, this is all about money, right?

it's good to see you.

you've really moved up in the world, haven't you?

we're long overdue for a catch-up, you and me.

let's get a bite to eat.

my father used to bring me here when i was a kid. he paid me to keep my elbows off the table.

you think they're wondering if it's really me?

what did the gazette call me?

if only i'd been a dutiful daughter.

are you nervous?

i'd hate for you to feel nervous around me.

despite what you might think, i don't blame you.

how do you know about his plan, and why on earth would you pitch it as your own?

he's keeping us both in the dark, and i don't know why.

he's got a penchant for drops. and booze and gambling. i'm pretty sure he's got a sеx thing, too.

i was actually drowning my sorrows with my lady friend last night.

i doubt anything will turn up, but it's worth a shot.

i'm probably just being crazy.

thanks for lunch, i'll get the next one.

you know. people underestimate you, but not me.

i've always known you were capable of more.

scan the code. see gotham's true face.

get the fuck outta here.

i ain't never taken anyone here before.

what're you doing here?

what do you mean what am i doing here? i came to see you.

i got you something. come here.

what did you do?

wait. was i expecting you?

we're gonna leave town for a while.

someone's here.

will you tell me first what i did to lose your respect?

it ain't safe for you here. you understand?

why'd you shoot him?

now, can we go please?

it was impulsive. it was stupid. is that what you wanna hear?

jesus, i'm trying to take care of you.

i can't risk it.

i can't risk you.

look at me.

don't you see, dear? what you did wasn't impulsive. it was instinctual.

you're so close now to having everything you ever wanted, everything you deserve.

this city is meant to be yours, sweetheart.

i've been where you are.

they don't even know what they got, 'cause they always had it.

i wanna offer my services to you and your family.

oh, you wanna throw stones?

from where i sit, and where you sit, i don't think you're in a position not to hear me out.

i could give you everything you need.

revenge don't come easy.

he was a dirty rat.

he played us both for fools.

but he's dead, and i'm here now, and i'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime.

i know a lot more than people think.

you and me, we can tear down their fսcking empire from the inside out.

what is it you're really after?

i know who you are. i know what you are.

i don't work with people whose loyalty is for sale.

you think i forgot all the times you schmoozed me and my boys just to turn around and fսck us?

look, i can see you're upset. trust takes time. but this ain't bullshit.

it's good seeing you. you look good.

it's a terrible feeling, isn't it?

i just wonder how you see me.

that's what you wanted, right?

you are so good at talking your way out of things.

it's just you and me now, okay?

am i crazy?

tell me that i'm too emotional, and that i have an overactive imagination, and that i shouldn't take things so personally.

what the fuck is this?

you did good today.

didn't we agree the head alone would be the most poetic, and the pinky, the cherry on top?

yeah. at least (blank) got the message.

from here on out, there's no more playing it safe.

i'm gonna run this goddamn city.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

save me SMG4 episode save me

(the following is my live reaction:)

moo-stache moo-stache moo-stache

why do I feel like Pedro's going to be here?

"bruh Pedro was just a one-time thing." they literally killed off Mickey, ANYTHING can happen

KAIZO YOU'RE BACK HI

OMG please tell me someone from the Team saw this fan animation and put it in the episode as a nod to the animator, that would be awesome!!!

btw great fan animation, go check it out if you haven't [link]

YAYYYY, c'mon Mario you gotta spend time with your brother :)

also I need to find a playthrough of this game while I work

whoops my hand slipped [*makes 4 say "I should've chosen the USB over you, 3"*] :)

Hey Shroomy :D ....oh *western spaghetti flashbacks*

like seriously, I can't hear that audio the same way again

helicopter helicopter (copter)

oh hey swag *he fades away* NOOOOOO

well, digging did (mostly, sorta) help the last episode

OMG HI HI HI MY SILLIES

Three, why are you here if you think it's stupid? unless... 🫵 🏳️‍🌈⁉️

it's giving "I'm only here to support my boyfriend's interests", like I'm starting to believe that they truly are dating behind the scenes

they're on a date, your honor 💙💜

and there they go bickering again smh /affectionate

I'd like to think that ever since Four drives a forklift, that's just his method of transportation. screw the car, we're taking this baby out for a spin :)

Mario, you need to be ✨forklift certified✨

sorry, just Three's gayass poses give me life

actually yeah why is the line not moving?

the boys :)

also that walk animation tho

HOW LONG IS THIS LINE?!

also c'mon Three, show us your dance moves :D

oooooh that editing i love that

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING

now that they've mentioned it, why are there so many conventions happening at the same time? hmmmmm *game theory theme starts playing*

SMG3: "Maybe they're lining up to go to your mom's house. That line's usually pretty long." DAYUM THREE

"the line doesn't end" ayo wtf????

shroomy, you've eaten mushrooms before and you had no problem with that

....it really is the end of the world huh

ONE WEEK LATER?!?!?!?

"there is no end" "the end will come" me, sitting in the corner: hmmmmmmmmm

whelp, it's confirmed, I kin Four now

Three's not going coo co crazy, he's just vibin' :)

THIS IS WARRRRRR

this whole fighting scene omg it's SO good!

....WOTFI? ok no :P

AWWW THAT WAS ACTUALLY SWEET DUDE

CAN WE PLEASE GET A HUG? FOR ME SPECIFICALLY?

.... yeah uh Boopkins, you're going to have to explain what the hell you mean by that

not that it's surprising, we've been through a lot. just another Tuesday (or Saturday in this case)

MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ALL THIS FLUFF

HUG HUG HUG

THAT'S MY BOYS

RAVE PARTY [*dances*]

....sonic, is that you? sorry, my mind is still in the sonadow generations phase so I can't unsee them

:O wait, Boopkins, what did you mean by that?

MARTY?!?!? WTF

SMG4: "Don't worry, Mario. There's one way we can fix this." Beat the shit out of him...? YEAH I KNEW IT HAHA

*explodes*

and congrats to samgagmincho for your art featured at the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

This was a fun episode, I loved it!! Seeing my boys is always a plus and I appreciate the return of some side characters. With how the world is right now, I really needed this episode. So, thanks Team, for keeping my spirits up.

I just enjoyed watching my silly little guys doing silly little adventures. Traffic is a nightmare so I don't blame Mario in the slightest. Anyway, 3 and 4, how was your date? /silly

Can we just talk about the animation? It was so good!!! You really see the quality they put in, especially in that fighting scene. I didn't expect MARTY of all people to be the cause of all this. I honestly thought it was going to be a gag of something harmless just being in the middle of the road for no reason (like a turtle or smth) and the Crew being like "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" but NOPE, Marty was here and apparently A SORCERER?! I really shouldn't be surprised, what am I talking about here. And ofc the OG duo immediately beating the shit out of him is so fucking funny to me. He didn't die (I know that), but he's definitely going to be more relevant in the future.

...puzzlevision 2? ok I'm sorry

SMG4 show and jokes aside, I hope you all are ok. No matter what happens, we'll stick together. Don't give them the satisfaction that they want. You aren't alone, and we'll keep on fighting.

Going to be a Sonic fan here, Sonic 06 is famously known to be... augh. But there is a good moment with Shadow that I think is relevant now:

Mephiles (the villain of the game): "It's futile. The world will betray you. Why fight at all? Why risk your life for those who will persecute you later?" Shadow: "If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have."

Take care, my dear fellows, and I'll see you all in my next post!! Hmmm, there is "no end" [*game theory intro plays*]

[lovedrruunk]

‘General Venture dating headcanons!

Authors note; literally wrote all of this during my genocide and holocaust studies class.… I’m going to hell…Also guys idk whether to use “y/n” or not like I can’t help but cringe… is it corny or no gah idk ALSO AUGHHH IM SUCH A LIAR im literally so behind on all my assignments!!!! And I still have requests to do whatever whatever enjoy!!!

They’re very secure as a person (and they trust you lots!) so I don’t think they’d get easily jealous but when they are they're sneaky with it, they’d be the type to like sabotage lolol

“Do you think I have a chance?”

“Oh with (____) ? Yea sure but just so y’know they were only recently discharged from the psyche ward…”

“Oh…”

“Yea… doctors said they’d never be the same ..… poor thing…..

( ＾◡＾)”

They’re actually just the sweetest most understanding s/o ever like genuinely let them know all your of worries, share all your burdens, they happily will!!

Will DIE if they ever made you upset. Like would start genuinely tweaking and going crazy. Will buy every gift and write so many letters apologizing for whatever they’d done until you’re happy again

Even worse if they make you mad like omg ESPECIALLY IF UR GIVING THEM THE SILENT TREATMENT

do be expecting them outside your window with a boombox on their head playing some old romantic Spanish saop opera song

They seem like the type who can’t cook for shit (I’m projecting here) BUT they will try just for you! They’ll attempt to cook your favorite foods… please lie to them!!

Absolutely loves to spoil / do things for you but if you do the same they freak out, lots of ‘You shouldn’t have!’s and ‘Shuckssss teehehehe’

Of COURSEEE gifts you lots of pretty rocks!!! Constantly. Your house might have a random rock in every corner but hey what can you do? what’s that? Refuse to take it? Yea if you want them to die!!!! You might as well have just ripped their heart out! just say you hate them and never wanna see them ever again!!!

Speaking of… lots of dramatics. However they’re smart enough to know when to stop so it’s not to the point of being annoying or anything! They can’t help but be playful, it’s in their blood

Not only are they a terrible cook but they're a terrible driver as well, there's definitely a hidden drawer filled with all their tickets... somebody get them off the damn road!

Treats the drill like a pet lol, y'know those jokes about pitbulls named princess? That's for sure what's going on here. Yea it's a dangerously massive drill meant to effortlessly barrow through solid ground but it's also their little meowmeow so?? Their admiral turbo meowington? If you suggest they wash it from all the dirt and grime they'll pout and say something stupid like; "but but flufflestiltskin hates the bath"

That's all I can think of right now but I'm sure there's more cooking in the back of my head!! Hope you like it, this was rlly fun lolol (IM SO IN LOVE WITH THEM SOMEONE SEDATE ME.)

[foodtruckery]

Your abo idea is so good and you mentioned the idea of ford obsessing over who else has helped stan with his heats but what I'm wondering is if ford would obsess over /him/ helping. Wondering what wouldve been different if stan presented when they were younger (then probably dismissing it thinking how their father wouldve blown a gasket) or if stan had called him and told him when it happened or if he had known even when he came out of the portal

I think abo stancest has potential for some fun dynamics and your characterization of those too would make it soooo good omega old man stan who's still just as much of an ass as he usually is and it both drives ford up the wall and makes him a little bit more crazy with his scent

oho you've activated my "i haven't stopped thinking about this idea and have more to share than you asked for" trap card! (and you've given me an excellent excuse to step away from halloween party prep for a minute, so thank you, anon!!) btw this is. so much fucking longer than i meant for it to be, i'm SO sorry.

but absofuckinlutely ford would be as haunted by that thought as i am by this whole premise. i'm putting this behind a cut JUST because i managed to ramble for 1,000 words about this because it is eating me alive. please know that if i hadn't been forced to spend the last several days locked in on party planning, there would already be something more coherent in the works for this lol.

i like to think that when he was younger, ford would've been just. obsessed with the fantasy of it all, right? when he's still heavily embedded in that society and wrapped up in the expectations of how alphas are supposed to be, how omegas are supposed to be. how could he NOT think about the ways things may have been different. what stan would have smelled like with that sweeter omega edge, or how much different, how much wetter, it may have sounded when he overheard him masturbating in the dark when stan thought he'd fallen asleep.

and what a perfect excuse to finally act on those less-than-acceptable feelings he's had about his brother. sure, it's not the done thing, but they're already so close, and they share all their space, and who would really blame him for being completely overhwelmed by all those pesky new instincts when stan went into heat for the first time?

but that's fantasty land, and older ford is the universe's smartest boy, so he knows that's obviously never going to happen. instead, i like to think our super intelligent idiot goes and develops a thing for betas instead, which he blames on the FWB thing he has going on in college with fiddleford and never inspects anymore closely than that. he's entirely too much of an intellectual to be fussed with all that secondary instincts nonesense, after all, and ford is NOT a natural caretaker/pack leader sort, can't stand the idea of some simpering omega expecting him to handle everything for them all the time, so it makes sense that he gravitates towards betas on the blessedly rare occassion where he seeks out a partner -- usually to get over a rut or something similar.

and then....well, there's the whole portal thing. and wouldn't you know it? not a lot of secondary genders in the multiverse! well, multi-genders, absolutely, but it's surprisingly rare to come across anyone else with the specific sort of secondary gender alignments from his universe. but that's even better, because it just separates him even further from the expectations he was always outside the lines of anyway.

of course, when he gets BACK, it's....hard to adjust to finding out that stan did, actually, present after he was kicked out left. but as an alpha. which...that makes sense! it's what they expected after ford presented, right? twins and all that. explains why they brawled right after he got home -- stupid, useless alpha hormones vying for dominance. and because smartest boy ford is so separated from all this by the time he comes back, it doesn't ever occur to him that stan would have to be feigning more than just his name and an ID card to impersonate ford for 30 years.

and why would he think stan was anything else, after all? sure, ford is a little rusty with identifying scents like these nowadays, but he isn't incompetent. stan smells like an alpha. and he sure as hell acts like one -- the worst kind, even. cocky, loud, physical, brash. ford definitely doesn't spend any time at all disappointed by this turn of events. and he certainly doesn't spend any other time fantasizing about bitching stan to make a point about reclaiming his home and his territory. he doesn't strip his dick to that idea at all.

needless to say. by the time things...settle down, ford's made some peace with the situation. he's found enough middle ground with stan that he isn't willing to fuck up rebuilding some kind of (loathe though he is to admit it) pack with his brother over a fleeting fantasy.

having all of that upended again, though? it's like turning a tap on full blast after you just got the damn thing to stop dripping. hard to hold on to the "i prefer to fuck betas" and "i am over this obsession with my brother" mentality when you're face to face with the bedrock of every lewd, overindulgent sexual fantasy you had between presenting and college. and how could he not consider all the things he missed, that could have actually been within reach?

where the hell was stanley when he went into heat for the first time? he wouldn't have known to start suppressents or pheremone drugs before that. did he ride it out alone in the back of that damn car someplace, getting slick all over the upholstery and his hands? did he think about ford to get through it? or did he find somebody to help out? to give him a door to lock or, worse, a bed to share. if he was fucking a stranger through his first heat, did he think about ford to get through that?

what if he'd said something the night he came to gravity falls? hell, by that point, ford can't even remember how stan had smelled that night, not in the midst of the torture and the paranoia and the insomnia -- if he hadn't been in the middle of bill's psychological warfare, would he have noticed that stan had presented? or would he have fallen as easily for whatever drugs stan may have been hiding behind then as he did when he came back?

but if he had noticed, would it have changed anything? it probably would have made things worse if it had, of course. bill knew all about stan and, worse, the fantasy of stan of ford held on to all those years. realistically, it would only have been horrible if stan had shown up on his doorstep halfway being dragged into a heat. but the idea of it -- of fucking stan through it in the basement instead of fighting over the portal and his journals. well, that's a nice thought.

it does beg the question, though: if ford can't remember how stan was presenting that night, there's a chance he hadn't been masking as an alpha yet. and even if he was, ford knows enough about the illicit drug trade to know that it's never a sure thing. did stan ever lapse? 30 years is a breathtakingly long time to be on those sorts of drugs, and they can't have all come from reputable places or been easy to get a hold of. especially in the woods in oregon.

it's clear with the situation now that being off those drugs has pointed and rather immediate consequences. does that mean that stan went into heat in the shack at some point? maybe multiple points? if it happened early on, would he have nested in ford's room, with whatever might have still smelled like him? or did he find someone in town to help? worse, was there someone in town who helped regularly when this sort of thing came up? and most importantly if so, who?

ford has QUESTIONS to say the least, but he is taking all of this QUITE WELL GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, thank you very much.

[gemharvest]

Okay hear me out (and I will forget I sent an ask in again 2 seconds later) RGB as crystal gems

PREFACING THIS ART WITH AN "I'm sorry I didn't lean more into the SU side of things" I am being so fr I don't wanna mess with trying to figure out more gem-like outfits for them so they're basically the same except with limited palettes and also gems. I don't think it's actually gonna matter to anyone but ANSJKNKDGJ if I don't open with that my brain will Explode. /lh

GO CRAZY GO STUPID AHHHHHH. GEMS. I'm going to have to put my bullet points under a read more just cuz I know I am about to fucking Go Off. grins

Girlfriend is a red diamond. Boyfriend is a peridot. Pico is a green spinel.

GIRLFRIEND:

Went with a diamond cuz of the status thing. I am almost worried it feels like too easy of a pull but I doonnn't care I think it'd be fun if she was a diamond. :) Red obviously because it's her color.

Playing off the status thing; ofc her parents would also be diamonds and so you can have the reasoning of "oh this isn't a high-rank gem" for them not liking Boyf. I mean if you need any reasoning aside from them just being unreasonable LOL but that's always there.

Placement on her chest because !! love !!!! That's also why it's a heart-shaped cut instead of a. Diamond shape.

My backup assignment for her would be a jasper because I think it'd suit her well to be any quartz, and with jasper you can get close to her reds !! The status thing is really what made me decide on a diamond tho.

As I type this I realize there are some vaaaguee similarities to Pink I could pull as extra reasoning but shruuuugs my brain is NOT in an analytical mood rn so I'll just let others chew on that for me.

This isn't really relevant to RGB but I wanna mention it: I think it'd be funny if the demon henchmen were rubies.

BOYFRIEND:

The biggest factor for me going peridot with him is the fact that a common headcanon for canon Peridot is that she's autistic and while I mostly work with ADHD Boyf myself (since that's the experience I can pull from personally)... I am a sucker for a good autistic/AuDHD read with him.

This man is short and Era 2 peridots are short. If I drew him SU style this guy would need limb enhancers. lol

Instead of a prohibition symbol his shirt has the outline of a star. I just find that neat. :)

He would sooooooo suck at a peridot's role but also iirc in canon he's a college drop out anyways so it cancels out. He's got that Greg Universe in him.

Honestly, I put his gem placement on the back of his hand bc I had no clue where else to put it. My secondary placement for it would be on his forehead bc it'd make me giggle with him being Dumb but canon Peridot already has the forehead placement so I didn't go ahead with that.

HE STOLE PICO'S GREEN SPOT. spritzing him with water like a naughty dog BAD BOYFRIEND.

PICO:

This is my little indulgent one I really. I really love canon Spinel. This is tangential but like I literally have 4 spinel OCs and then another 4 furry OCs with designs based on canon Spinel. The urge to make One Of Them a spinel was going to be there.

The juxtaposition of him being a gem with an entertainer role and also a hard-ass hitman makes me giggle. Idk I feel like if you already know canon Spinel then you can probably connect the dots as to why I'd imagine him as a spinel as well.

Heart cut because I find it cute and it matches GF. I think a spade shape could be fun too but idk I prefer just going with a heart. Placement on his upper back because. :) Because he can't easily shield it from damage that way. He has to be constantly aware of his surroundings, unless he wants to give someone the chance for an easy hit on him if they sneak up from behind. Little paranoia thing to fuck with him. I'm so nice to Pico !! :D

Bringing back the status thing with GF's parents; I can't help but giggle thinking abt them hiring him. Imagine you get recommended this really good hitman and you meet up and it's a fucking court jester. Fucking ego hit but DD needs the job done so he hires him anyways. AND THEN PICO DOESN'T EVEN CARRY OUT THE FUCKING HIT. Never hiring a clown off of Craigslist again. /JOKING

hits play on this and sits down with my head in my hands

OKAY BEFORE I'M DONE I WANNA MENTION: I made myself give them all gem assignments BUT I do think it would be fun if one of them was not a gem a la Greg and Rose. So I give you: regular canon demon GF and her two gem boyfriends. Takes a bow. (<- honestly might do something further with that for my own fun. teehee)

[siddyyyyyyyy]

University Romance

Johnny 'Soap' McTavish x female!Reader

this is part two to: University Romance, part three

Wc: ~2.1 k

warnings: none, no y/n used, 'crazy' chemistry professor Soap, Johnny and Reader are about the same age, the name of the university is fictional

summary: You and Johnny are two professors at a university, and he often catches you working late in your office. Also, you're just really good friends and there's probably more to it.

a/n: a lot of cringe in here and just yapping, I'm pretty sure I will make a third part to it and see how it goes. Have fun!

Redcrest High Academy, Wednesday 9:00 AM

Okay... maybe, hopefully, they haven't heard of these ridiculous assumptions from his students. First semester, they're still pretty young, stupid, and still have to get used to being in a university. Of course they will assume something like this, their frontal lobe hasn't even developed completely yet, has it? Is it even such a big deal to be mistaken as a couple?

»Stupid boom box...« Johnny mutters under his breath, making you confused at the same time.

»Carl, boom box; he asked if we were married. And I'm pretty sure he is the one who came up with all these rumors.« He adds, clarifying your confusion and making up a theory at the same time.

»Oh, so we should just have a talk with him, and then it's done.«

»No! It's too late!«

He surprises you by taking this situation so seriously. There must be something else.

»Okay, that's a bit dramatic, don't you think?«

He sighs out dramatically once more and throws his head back, eventually taking you by your shoulders and shaking you lightly.

»You don't get it! Soon, everyone will know, and I don't-«

The door swings open and, Kyle stands there, papers in his hand while his other still holds the doorknob. You're both looking over to him, Johnny having a rather stressed expression on his face. Kyle looks between the two of you, staying still in his spot while the silence stretches out.

»Am I interrupting something?« The physics professor breaks the silence, a faint smirk on his lips. Johnny almost squeezes your shoulders in a death grip before he lets go, being still a bit out of the wind.

»No! Of course not, what's up?« He answers almost too quickly and puts his hands on his hips, focused on Kyle and trying really hard to pretend nothing happened.

Kyle takes a small step back, closing the door just a tad bit but keeps his eyes on you both.

»I can also come in later if I was a bother. No worries.« He clarifies, earning a look from you both. He waves the stack of papers in his free hand, ready to just close the door and leave from the lack of response from the two of you.

»Wait, no, Kyle— you can just give me the papers and...« Johnny steps to him and takes the papers, glancing down at them before he looks to Kyle once more.

»Do you think we're married?« He asks, having a serious look on his face while awaiting Kyles answer. Kyle smrik widens, pretending to think he meant him and Johnny, instead the two of you.

»Aren't you guys something?« He asks back and points between you both, making you look away and regret every life decision that led to this. Johnny's eyes widen, a heavy sigh leaving his lips as he dramatically puts his hand over his face.

»Thanks, Kyle.« Johnny mutters before he closes the door right on his face. He looks back to you, seeing you still feeling mostly confused about the dramatics of Johnny, and why he seems to be more exasperated than the first time he learnt about the sun exploding in about five billion years.

You sigh out softly, talking in a calmer tone.

»Why are you so upset about this? Did I miss something, or are you really just dramatic?«

He looks to you and tries to find his words, placing the stack of papers down on his desk before he leans against it.

»I just don't get why they think we are a couple... I mean, sure, I check up on your lectures sometimes and talk about you; I make sure you don't fall asleep in your office or overwork yourself, we spend our breaks together... But that doesn't mean we're married.«

You listen to him but get hung up in his words, holding your hand up for him to stop rambling.

»What did you just say?«

»We spend our breaks together?« He guesses, making you shake your head and ask again.

»No, before that.« You wait for him to repeat his words, being unsure if you heard him right.

»That I make sure you don't fall asleep here? What is it that I said?«

He makes you roll your eyes at him as he guesses again, putting both hands up and gesturing to him more impatiently.

»No, before that.«

He purses his lips, unsure if he should say it again or just somehow ignore the question, realising he said too much earlier. His lack of response makes you cross your arms and silently demand him to answer you finally. Johnny relents a moment later, sighing out sheepishly as he rubs the back of his neck.

»Okay, okay, I talk about you in class, but that has nothing to do with this.« He finally admits and leans back against his desk more while avoiding eye contact. It seems like you have got him caught in something, and this explains a lot. You don't even want to know what other stuff his students have assumed, but you are also curious about what exactly he talks about in his lectures, considering he should be teaching them chemistry.

»Just- okay... Maybe that's why your students assume that.« You sigh out, having no motivation to be upset about him. At least there's someone to blame now, and it's Johnny. »And maybe you should actually teach them about chemicals instead of... whatever you are doing.« You add to, making him rub the back of his neck. It's clear he feels embarrassed if not ashamed about it. Maybe he was this dramatic all the time, because he knew he is at fault. But then again, he doesn't make sense as he said he doesn't want anyone to know.

»Look, let's just say nothing about it. Everything is normal for now, no one suspects a thing. But if your fathere finds out...« He takes a deep breath and shakes his head faintly. »He's gonna kill me.«

He finishes off, once again with fantastic dramatics.

»Wait, what about my dad? I thought you two were good friends.«

But before he could answer you, the bell rings and signals the beginning of the next lectures. He ushers you both out of his office, guiding you back to your lecture hall, since it's next to his, waving you goodbye before stepping into his class.

He's strange.

Once Johnny enters the lecture, he is greeted by the many faces of his students and one particular student speaks up. Before he could say word though, Johnny puts his hand up to silence everyone.

»I'm not gonna answer your stupid question, but we're gonna make coloured fire!«

----

Office of your own, Wednesday 8:53 PM

It took you exactly four coffees to stay awake and distract yourself from today's events. And completing your work early on again. Your students are going to be happy to receive their assignments back early, but will probably feel concerned too. Also, you're staying late in your office again, on accident. But now that your work is done and there's nothing else to do before the next day, you decided to look through your old pictures back from your early twenties.

It felt nice just studying and living at your parents house at that time, where you weren't plagued to actually do adult stuff. But the memories are nice, seeing how much fun you had most of the time, how different your style was, the fun things you could do with your friends... how lovely Johnny stared at you? Is the caffeine catching up?

You go on that picture again, your whole friendgroup from the different classes of the university at a park, it being sunny, and making the photo look even more nostalgic. Another look at Johnny confirms his stare. Whenever he isn't occupied with something in these photos, he is most likely looking your way with a soft, almost fond, expression.

A rhythmic knock pulls you out of your train of thoughts, looking to the door that opens up. Again, Johnny walks in, most likely to force you out of this room once more.

»Wow, that's a big stack of papers. Did you do all this?« He points to all the work you've done today on the desk, approaching you at the same time.

»No, the friendly poltergeist did it.«

He smiles at the sarcastic response and huffs out amused. Once he's close enough to your desk, he leans arms against your desk, inspecting the papers. While he does that, you go on to sort through them once more, standing up while doing so.

He watches your hands work, helping out a bit at the same time. Eventually, the stack of papers are neatly sorted out, going into your bag for the next lecture.

»Damn, I look good... looked good, at least.« He speaks up, eyeing the screen of your computer while leaning over your desk a little more. It seems like you forgot to turn your computer off as he came in, quickly closing the tab with the photos now. He groans as you closed the tab, looking back to you.

»Why'd you have that open? For motivation?«

He tilts his head at you, waiting for your answer, with a subtle smirk.

»Did you know dentures used to be made out of dead soldier's teeth?«

You try to distract him, it working as he blinks and grimaces at your fun fact. He leans off your desk and you take the opppurtunity to finally turn your computer off. Johnny takes a small breath, pointing at you with his finger.

»I really wish I didn't know that.«

----

Redcrest High Academy, Friday 12:02 PM

Johnny has thought a lot about you. Since he saw these pictures on your screen, he can't help but think back to your college and university years. It was fun being in that friend group, there was always something to laugh at and the hangout's were truly something else. He lost count of how many drunk black-outs he had already, how many times he pulled all-nighters to study, and how many times he tried to ask you out. If he only had the courage... if he weren't that hesitant, he is sure you two were indeed married by now.

But he remembers that time his friends and him hung out at your place for the first time, just before your university years as students started. Your house was rather big with two floors and a back yard. At that time of the summer, you used your back yard to grill and hang out at. He can remember how surprised he was when he saw how pretty it was, not having expected much. But that positive surprise surely died down quickly when your dad came by to help with the grill.

He looked intimidating then, a few inches taller than himself and looking rather rough. But then again, that small scare flew by once your dad introduced himself and finally smiled politely.

John Price, or 'mister Price' as how he calls him, even now. He knew he'd need to make a good impression on him and didn't drink as much as usual, trying to talk to your dad a little more. Of course, it was that same evening when your friends found out about his profession, or at least just knew that he was an SAS-soldier not too long ago. A captain as well.

At that point, he knew he probably had no real chance with you. He knew, if he fucked up, there's a whole SAS-team after him. So, he settled on just being good friends with you, mostly because of your father and his own fear of rejection.

Your father, on the other hand, befriended himself quickly with Johnny, having chatted about explosives most of the time in that same evening. He was sure Johnny and your friends were nice, not having anything against those.

You invited Johnny over more frequently, having had late study sessions, talking with your father about different stuff, and also more grill parties with your friend group. You could say your father became more fund of Johnny with time, having made more jokes and teases than necessary about you two.

»When are you marrying, son?«

He really wanted to ignore that question the first time your father asked him that. But he couldn't, and really tried his best to find the correct answer to it, but also not lie.

»We aren't together, sir.«

John waves a dismissive hand at him, huffing out lightly.

»Please, I've seen how you look at her. Don't waste your time before she finds someone else... and stop with the formalities. I told you that already.«

After a small pep talk from your father, he had some more courage to be closer to you, but still not enough to ask you out.

For some reason, it was harder than it looked like.

Even now, as your both fully grown adults and working together, he can't just walk up to you and propose something as a date. But now, with everyone thinking you are engaged, it might be the perfect oppurtunity to finally ask you out.

a/n: wow, again a cliffhanger, who would have thought!1!1! I hope you enjoyed it, I'm working on two fics right now, so I can't say when the next part is coming out. Probably soon.

[binsito]

I loved your idea of hannie with his nail tech crush.. yk what i think though? OBVIOUSLY the nailtech kinda knows abt this little crush of his. She doesnt know how severe it is but she does notice the way he blushes slightly when she compliments his hands, or the way his eyes sparkle when she finally giggles at one of his jokes. Also who am i kidding the nail tech obviously ALSO finds hannie v v cute and v v hot bc,,,, he's hannie??? He's charming and handsome and he keeps his fingernails clean soooo maybe the next time he comes around, and she is feeling a little frustrated bc her own hands aren't enough fun for her.. she'll hint at wanting his fingers inside of her? Maybe she'll be kinda distracted and shy this tine or maybe she's bold and just straight up teases him by saying things that could be considered dirty but also might just be his pervy mind interpreting the wrong thing. Aaa idk i'm not a writer but yourw giving my head THOUGHTS

OHHHH MYGOD. thank god you left this ask bc i was dying to write more for this JASHDJA

warning: fingering, hand worshipping, swearing, slight perv!han jisung, lmk if i missed anything but it's pretty tame

wc: 914

hannie has to act normal.

hannie has to be cool.

hannie has to act like he doesn't go home after every appointment and edges his cock thinking about how nice it would be to have your lips wrapped around his tip.

so when he walks into the salon, straight into your suite and takes a seat at your chair - he makes a mental promise to himself that:

he. will. not. get. hard.

he won't get hard if you hold his hands, it's all part of your job.

he won't get hard if you smooth lotion on him, it's just a courtesy.

he won't get hard if you compliment his nails, they're only pretty because you made them pretty.

"hannie do you even put your fingers to use?"

what?

"you come here so often and yet they're rarely chipped or overgrown. you must not lift a finger." you smile.

oh.

he felt so stupid, of course he read into it in such a dumb, perverted way.

"you must take good care of yourself hm?"

fuck.

why couldn't he be normal? why couldn't he just have nice, clean thoughts? why was he getting hard? why couldn't he just keep his promise?

"your hands are always soft. i wish i had nice fingers like you. they're long and pretty.."

he clears his throat and laughs awkwardly. he was being such a loser.

"oh yeah.. they're definitely long, alright.. hah.." he says

who the fuck says that?

he literally wanted the ground to eat him up.

"yeah, they are. longer than mine." you giggle as you work on his polish.

"yeah.. way longer.."

and why he kept going? only god knows, but he definitely noticed your face flushing (and was he crazy or were you pressing your legs tightly together under the table?)

hannie doesn't think he's ever seen you this quiet, this concentrated on his hands before. after the conversation died out, there was no other topic to bounce off of. and normally han jisung would just start talking about random shit, would tell you your hair looked pretty or that he noticed your subtle eye makeup and that it looked nice.

but not now.

not today.

"hannie have you ever had problems reaching things with your fingers? i-it could just be because mine aren't as long as yours but.. you know they're never quite enough to reach."

"oh uh.. n-no but do you need help reaching something? i could help.."

"could you really? that's so sweet of you, hannie.." your smile could melt him into a puddle. you smile at him so sweetly, just for him and han jisung can't really handle that well.

"so what is it you need help with? something too high up or-"

"well.. i just can't seem to cum. doing your nails frustrates me so much. they look so nice so why can't i have them inside of me?" you pout at him.

the wind feels like it was knocked out of him. he thanks god that you have your own little suite and no one else was around to hear that.

"f-fuck, are you serious? holy shit, why didn't you say something sooner?"

"well because i'm a little shy and because i wanted to finish doing your set first, of course..

you really mean it though? will you actually help me?"

"yes.. fuck, yes i'll help you."

his eagerness was cute. unluckily for him, he still had to wait for you to cure his gel polish. his leg bouncing impatiently as you gave him a look to quit it.

he smiled shyly and let out a nervous chuckle as he tried to contain himself. once you were done, he damn near jumped out of his chair towards you. you put some of your supplies away and walked past him to lock the door. as soon as he felt the coast was clear and no one would walk in, he grabbed you - kissing you deeply and pressing you against his lean body.

it was an intense kiss, full of want and desire but you welcomed it because you had been feeling the same way. you pulled away slightly to grab his wrist, bringing it up towards your mouth so you could take two of his freshly manicured fingers in between your lips.

you made sure to get them nice and wet, saliva connecting them to the tip of your tongue when you pulled them out.

han jisung felt weak.

he found himself pressing you against the nearest wall, your pants long forgotten as he pumped his fingers inside you, finally leaving you fuller than your fingers ever could.

the pads of his fingers massaged your gummy spot and curled against it making your knees buckle. it was all too perfect and better than you could ever imagine. you knew the orgasm he was going to pull from you was going to be intense. you felt it bubbling up already and he hadn't even been touching you for long.

but when he brings his other hand forward to rub at your clit and you look down to catch a peek of his baby blue nails, you lose yourself to him and feel yourself cream around his fingers. clenching your cunt tightly against them, not wanting him to ever pull out.

however when he does pull out, he makes sure to have you watch as he sucks your essence off his fingers. rolling his eyes back at the taste and humming in satisfaction.

please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

You ever think about how in spite of knowing their exact locations, the game never gives any indication that templar Carver has reported his mage sibling, Merril (a blood mage) or Anders (an abomination) to his superiors?

I do think about that a lot, even though I tend to ignore the Templar Carver route because I know Warden Carver to be true in my heart and soul... but I totally get the appeal of Templar Carver within DA2's narrative, y'know?

It's so fascinating, really. I've never played a run with Templar Carver, I just can't bring myself to do it, so I know I'm missing out on smaller details of it. From what I do know, this drives me crazy in the best way possible.

Deciding whether to bring him or not to the Deep Roads is such an important choice, not only because it affects his fate, but how it affects his relationship to Hawke. He tells you that he wants to go, he makes it very clear that it's important to him that he goes, too... and Hawke can just leave him behind and it hurts him. I don't think that registers enough with some people just because of how Carver is, like it doesn't matter what Hawke's motivations are [staying behind for his safety, not wanting to bring him, thinking someone should stay with Leandra, etc] it still hurts him because it tells him that Hawke doesn't need him, and Carver wants to be needed.

And yes, there are other contributing factors to why he joins the templars, but it doesn't matter what your relationship is to him, it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't turn Hawke or his companions in.

Sure, the meta reason is it's a video game and you're playing the main character. You're never in any actual danger of being captured by templars, and you're not going to lose your companions to them that easy.

But if we look at it through the narrative and Carver's character, that's when it gets interesting. You can max out his rivalry and be an utter asshole to him [there's a point where you can call him a brat and mock him for being stuck in your shadow, like Hawke can be real cruel about it] but it doesn't matter, you're still his sibling. He even makes a remark about how you might not know what that means [referring to leaving him behind] but he does. He refuses to kill Hawke in the end when Meredith makes the order, too.

Which can I just point out that Hawke has the option to let Bethany die in the end if she's with the circle and they side with the templars? Just saying, Carver NEVER does that no matter what, but Hawke has the option to betray Bethany like that and it's fucked and interesting and it makes me want to eat my chair-

As for Merrill and Anders, I think he knows that if he turns either of them in, then the chances of Hawke being brought in as well skyrocket. They're all friends, they're in the same group... bring one in, and you'll probably get the other two.

I also think Carver just genuinely likes Merrill. Yes, I'm a Carver/Merrill shipper, so I have a bias, but even if you remove anything romantic from their dynamic I believe that's true. Of all the companions, Merrill is the only one who doesn't make fun of him, or find him annoying, in party banters. He never snaps back at her, like he's never defensive with her, he's just a little awkward and nice.

Like, HE'S SO NICE TO HER! He tries to find common ground with her! She asks him about "swording" and he's taken aback by her saying he's good at it, but you KNOW that if someone like Anders asked him the same question, he's be all, "shut up, you're stupid, stop talking to me >:["

Think back to that banter Carver can have with Aveline post-act 1 where they're talking about how the guard wasn't the right place for him [hard disagree with you there, Aveline] and Carver says he was a bit of a tit, wasn't he.... and every companion will agree except Merrill. She doesn't say anything, whereas other companions like Anders will be like "ugh maker YES" and if you have a purple Hawke, they'll go on to other ways Carver was a tit like?? I think Carver and Merrill got along and he doesn't want to turn her in because she was nice to him! And she's a blood mage! He knows what will happen to her if the templars get ahold of her! He doesn't want to see her made tranquil or killed!

At that point, he's witnessed what bad blood mages can do, assuming you've brought him along for those quests, but even so. He knows Merrill isn't like that and he likes her, so of course he's not going to turn her in despite that being his literal duty.

Then there's Anders who Carver doesn't like. If you're in a romance with him, Carver will tell him that's why he doesn't turn him in but c'mon Carver, you know that's not the only reason. My theory is Carver may not like Anders and he knows the man's got a spirit of justice inside of him... but Anders also runs a free clinic. If he's ever taken in by templars, then so many people [including a LOT of Fereldan refugees] will be without free health care and will suffer for it. I think in Carver's eyes, Anders might be irritating but he doesn't more good than harm. Carver knows first hand how shitty refugees and poorer people are treated in Kirkwall. Anders' clinic is the one place they can go for help and actually get it, and he's not going to be the one to take that away because the templars say "magic bad."

So yeah, I'm not as informed about the Templar Carver route, but I do think about how if I did do that route, he wouldn't betray Hawke or their companions no matter what and what that says about him.