#or like “i waited 3 years for this?” like YEAH BITCH ART TAKES A WHILE

[thatsoheeron]

I actually don't understand how anyone can watch that ending and then tweet "Season 2 suxxed there was no EMOTION and BARELY GAMES" like do you also go to Taco Bell and order The Bell?

[tomriddlehyperfixataion]

How did we get here(i used to know you so well) Tom Riddle x reader- Part 4

summary/notes; obligatory OOTP chapter -smut included :D

“Weirdo,” you muttered. “Stupid,” Tom muttered back, pushing you against the wall.

yeah idk-smut chapter! also (y/n) being badass and taking no shit from umbitch(whos def a terf imma kick her ass) afab (y/n), still no pronouns other than they/them i think

A/N; This part feels totally separated from the last 3 parts I’m sorry T_T, I half like it and half want to delete it all. Extra note; they/them afab reader :3 – chapter contains smut, Tom is still stupidly ooc.

P1 P2 P3 P5

=

You stared at the toad dressed in a pink gaudy dress as she ‘sweet talked’ the students of Hogwarts. You remembered her very well; she was a horrid student and a horrid woman-looking much older than she was at only 40-something years old. You didn’t bother to keep track of her age; you just wanted to hex her and be done with it.

But here she was-a ministry appointed defense against the dark arts professor, and you really wanted to punch her in the face. She didn’t deserve such a title, and you were sure your husband would be a much better professor than this-toad. He didn’t like kids but he didn’t put an awful face on to hide the fact.(the fact that he was a dark wizard didn’t water down your opinion, at least he actually liked teaching)

Your fellow professors all seemed to agree with you-Snape almost chocking on his drink as you went to slide your chair far away from the toad as she went and sat down again. You ended up just moving to sit next to McGonagall to the delight of your students, who all giggled at your action while you dramatically stood, grabbed your chair, and moved it far away from the toad(toads were actually quite cute, so it was an insult to call the bitch such a creature)

Everyone ignored the fact that the chairs up at the grand dining table were quite heavy and made of solid dark oak.

You plopped down and huffed, crossing your arms as Dumbledore continued in his speech-catching the eye of Harry Potter as he looked up at you. You gave him a small smile and he returned it, through the troubled look on his face returned as he glanced away. You sighed, looking up at the enchanted ceiling, this year was already too hard on the boy, and it had hardly started.

-

You couldn’t believe it-his first lesson and he already had detention; just for telling the truth. Yes, this truth was seen as a lie to Umbitch and the ministry, but it was the truth and Harry was being punished for it. you had half a mind to storm into her office and remind her why you had gone untouched in the first wizarding war.

Instead, you waited down the hall from the DADA room, fiddling with your rings as Harry went through his detention. Eventually, he stepped out and froze when he saw you. You stared at him, glancing down at his hand as he attempted to hide it. You gestured for him to come close and after a moment's hesitation, he did, flinching as you took his left hand and examined it, the walls cracking as you saw the still-bleeding words on his skin.

“Off to madam Pomfrey Potter,” you muttered, feeling very tempted to take after your husband right now. “get that taken care of, do not fight me on this.” Harry tried to argue but with a glance from you-murder in your eyes-he shut his mouth and walked off, the blood draining from his face.

Even after watching you fight Voldemort a few months before-he never really realized how fucking terrifying you were. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself before you shoved the DADA door open, catching Umbitch going back into her office-the dreadful woman freezing as she caught sight of you.

"it will do you well to not move or piss me off further, Umbridge.” You hissed, using your rarely used ‘pissed off teacher’ voice as the pink abomination swallowed harshly, very much remembering who you were.

“I wasn’t aware you were authorized to use corporal punishment, Umbridge.” You said, slowly walking through the room, your steps near silent and your eyes on your prey, very much a lion cornering its prey. Umbridge huffed, her hands folded over her waist. “So silly of me, but it sounds as if you are questioning my authority, in my own classroom, Professor Riddle.”

You stepped onto the stairs, your eyes still on Umbitch as she raised her nose at you. “I am, Professor Umbridge. Do not think I did not see what was on Potter's hand a moment ago, lying, as you call it, is not an act that deserves a punishment like that.” You were on her then, towering over the puny witch with sparks flying off your body, moving at a speed not quite seen by the human eye. “it looked as if you had carved the words into his hand, and I will not tolerate my students being hurt for something so innocent.”

“Potter is not innocent,” Umbitch hissed, glaring up at you, her face forming into a wad of fat and wrinkles. Honestly, she was barely 45, how she looked 70 was beyond you. You had been born in 26 and yet you stood here, looking no older than 37. “he is defying the word of the minister and lying about the return of you know who, as one appointed by the minister himself-I will dole out punishments as I see fit” she barely finished her sentence before she was against the wall, sparks of magic traveling up your hand and into the tip of your wand as you snarled at her, teeth bared like an animal-much resembling your house mascot.

“Then you will do well to hope I do not see another student bleeding,” you hissed, feeling the cold from Tom’s ring travel down your arm and burrow in your soul-clearly enjoying the anger you felt. “be it Potter, or any other Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin-though I suspect you will hold such bias for your house-if I even see a drop of blood; I will end you and no one will find your corpse, and do not even think of this as a threat, this is a promise.” You released her throat-keeping your wand at her chin-her eyes wide and body shaking with fear. After a few moments, you were satisfied and turned on your heel-storming out of the room, the light returning to it as you slammed the door.

-

You probably shouldn’t have done that, but that-thing-had been something you wanted to drop kick since she went to school, but you were a teacher and she had been a minor then-so you didn’t want to go to prison for something like that. But that felt good.

…was it bad you almost wished the basilisk was still alive so you could sick it on her? Probably.

Then again, you also married the dark lord(he wasn’t one then, but still)-so your morals had always been questionable.

Soon enough the pink beast was going around and examining the professors and their classes, and just to make sure she kept her nose out of your business, you taught your class of 7th years how to care for, trap, tag, release safely, and properly research Wampuses(magical cougars). Your class had been very into it, you had always been good at keeping their attention and interest-but some of them were a bit distracted-due to the fact you had taken off your top to only wear your undershirt-the shirt clinging tight to your torso and showing off your arms.

You had been very well built since 4th year, becoming a chaser for Gryffindor that same year along with finding your passion with magical creature care.

Your students hadn’t once felt unsafe as you circled the Wampus, its bright brown eyes on you as its tail swished menacingly. You spoke about how dangerous they were and how one moment of weakness could spell your death.

It lunged and you held your hand up-enacting the barrier you had created with a circle of runes you had put down earlier just for this lesson-the magnificent beast's head slammed into the gold barrier and stumbled back, hissing and growling.

“And that is why it’s always important to think three steps ahead of any magical creature-dangerous or not, for it may save your life. Now, who can tell me where Wampuses native land is?”

You saw Umbridge scribble on her little clipboard and you rolled your eyes, turning back to your students and crossing your arms. Eventually, she left and the students relaxed, all leaning on each other and laughing. You laughed too, shaking your head. “Now we can get on to the real lesson,”

Rosy, a Ravenclaw, raised her hand, tilting her head slightly. “That wasn’t the real lesson?” you shrugged, turning back to the beast and snapping your fingers-the Wampus disappearing in a flash of light. Illusion magic was handy for your class. “sort’ve, that was mostly just to intimidate the toad, now! We have thirty minutes left, and I’m pretty sure there's a herd of unicorns near the forest line-lets go do some field work.” your students cheered and followed you to the edge of the forbidden forest; Luka gasping with an excited giggle as he walked towards the unicorns-still grinning as the few he walked toward ran away-not trusting of men.

What a way to reach gender elation(Luka was trans, and had recently transitioned, so for unicorns to not like him was as if he had been crowned king of England).

You smiled from a few feet away, proud of your kids. You really hoped their smiles would last, but with the war brewing; you weren’t sure they would.

-

“Professor Riddle!” you turned, smiling as you watched Harry and his friends run down the hill towards you-your previous class having just been dismissed after discussing and caring for Thestrals. (a very small class it had been, thankfully).

“Hey kid, what brings you three down here?” you asked, removing your gloves and throwing them to the side, tilting your head as Harry held out a slip of paper to you, with many names written on it. “Dumbledore’s army? Kid-“

“We need a way to learn to defend ourselves, and Umbridge isn’t helping-so we had the idea to make our own class, and Harry thought about asking you for help, since you fought in the first war and fought Voldemort last year,” Hermonie said quickly, her eyes bright and you swore you never saw her this excited to break the rules. “he said you were brilliant,”

“They were,” Harry muttered, turning back to you with those emerald eyes of his and you knew you wouldn’t be able to say no. Not if it meant helping kids learn to keep themselves safe. “All right, All right, I’m in,” you muttered, chuckling as the three cheered and told you where to meet up as soon as they found a spot to practice.

Only a few days later, you were in the room of requirement, wearing a tank top, loose training pants, and some boots; surveying the large group Harry and his friends had created for their ‘army.’

“Hello kids, so, Harry has asked me to teach you all defense against the dark arts, if you are wondering ‘why me?’ I’ll let you know DADA was my second-best class back when I was a student and I was, and am a proficient duelist.” You clapped your hands, spinning on your heels to get a good look at the room. “So, we will start with assessing your basics, what do you know? What can we improve? And what can I teach you? And for those who wish for or need it? I will also be teaching physical self-defense, no one expects a solid right hook to their face.”

The kids snickered at the thought of you punching a dark wizard in the face-which wasn’t a far thought, since you have many times. But you grinned, looking around at these eager kids who were ready to learn.

 “let’s get started.”

-

You jumped as Harry suddenly burst into your office in the dead of night, far past curfew. “Harry, what are you doing up this late?” you asked, standing from your desk and meeting him halfway through the room, gently holding his pale and clammy face, his breath nearing hyperventilation.

“i-I saw-Ron’s dad, being attacked and-“ you furrowed your brows, shushing Harry gently and bringing him to your desk, pushing him into the plush chair that sat across from your desk and conjuring up a glass of water. “Slow down kid,” you muttered, kneeling in front of him and holding his knee, watching as Harry gulped down the water. “What happened?”

“Ron’s dad, he-he was in this-hall of glass balls-they looked like the ones professor Trelawney uses, and he-he got attacked by something, and it-it was as if I was-the attacker, I-i-“ Harry stuttered and you took his hand, letting him hold it as hard as he could.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, and I’m sure Aurther is okay now, you told someone before coming to see me, right?” you asked gently and Harry nodded, mumbling that he had told Dumbledore before coming to see you. You nodded, licking your lips-pausing as Harry sighed, rubbing his face aggressively. “What’s wrong with me?! Why am I seeing all this?!”

You sighed, biting your inner lip. “I dunno kid, but it’s scary, this was happening last year too, right?” Harry nodded, slumping in the chair and sniffing, looking too tired for a 15-year-old boy.

“It’s like-it’s like my mind isn’t mine anymore, like its being-crossed over with his,” Harry whispered and you sighed again, standing and grabbing him a snack from your desk-handing it to Harry and sitting on your desk, leaning towards him.

“Due to what happened fourteen years ago, when he attempted to murder you, a piece of him might’ve latched onto you, and that’s why you are connected.” You muttered, essentially telling Harry he was a Horcrux without telling him-you didn’t want to put that on his mind when he already had so much there. Harry just sniffed, looking up at you. “you might be able to block that piece off, and prevent him from getting in, it will take a while, and you’ll be further exhausted from it; but it'll be one less thing to be worried about.”

Harry furrowed his brows in thought and then nodded, and you told him you start tomorrow after he finished classes. “now go back to bed, and here,” you handed him a dreamless sleep potion with a small smile. “just in case.”

-

Now, this was interesting.

-you are cordially invited to the Malfoy Christmas party, held at Malfoy Manor on December 22nd, 5pm starting time, black robe dress code, if you so wish; you may bring a date-

The last time you had been to the Malfoy Manor, was for Abraxas wedding; you hadn’t been back since, and now you were being invited directly instead of being Tom’s date.

You flipped the card between your fingers, your eyes drawing to the front of the letter, smirking at the handwriting that scripted your name. you knew that handwriting, you had seen it time and time again during your school years and then later during your married years.

You wondered once again, how you got here.

You sighed, shaking your head and folding away the invite, you would go course of course, if just to see their faces when you showed up. But seeing him again wouldn’t be so bad, since the last time you saw him was in the summer.

Giving him a piece of your mind for being stupid as fuck would also be fun.

-

You flipped the invitation card between your fingers, staring at the lit-up Malfoy Manor, many others had already arrived, lights were strung up along the gates and hedges, and servants were holding trays of horderves, offering them to guests and music was gently playing through the air.

You huffed, spinning your rings before stepping onto the grounds, walking through the open gates, and handing your invitation to a servant who asked you for it; making sure you had been invited and not breaking in.

And with a glass of champagne-you were in, wandering about the dark and grand halls of the manor, greeting those who nodded at you politely. You saw Draco pause as you stepped into the grand foyer, furrowing his brows at you, Pansy and Blaise at his side while Crabbe and Goyle were at the food table a few feet away.

“Professor Riddle?” Draco asked as you walked over to them, one hand in your pocket as the other held the champagne glass to your lips. “Pardon me if I’m being rude, by why are you here?”

“Why not? I did get an invitation after all,” you muttered, giving him a small grin. Draco just narrowed his eyes, you had never been invited before-so he was curious about what the change was to suddenly invite you now. He would get that answer soon enough.

Your attention was drawn away at the call of your name, and your nose scrunched in disgust. Travers, one of Tom’s original gang members from back in the day, and one of those ‘boys’ who didn’t have the word ‘no’ in their vocabulary. He had oddly been obsessed with you in school(even knowing of your blood purity, the weirdo) and that obsession had not diminished-only hiding it after you graduated and Tom announced your relationship soon after the Malfoy wedding.

But you suppose, if Tom wasn’t here right now, Travers wouldn’t be so keen to not act up. You sighed, downing your champagne and giving the kids a pained grin, Pansy even seeming sympathetic as you turned to face the man, who very much seemed his age. “Now you haven't aged a day,” Travers purred, while you were the same age-he looked much older, and considering your young appearance-

He looked like an absolute creep right now. “Travers, you’ve aged,” you said dryly, Draco and Blaise both snorting and hiding their faces as Travers chuckled, taking your diss with the grace of a worm and offering his arm. “May I offer a drink? Perhaps we could, catch up?” Travers flirted, and you very much wished you still had some champagne left to toss in his face.

“I can get my own drink, by myself, thank you very much.” You muttered, pushing past Travers and making your way towards the bar, giving your empty glass to a servant with a thankful smile, turning to the bartender with a strained sigh. “Something strong, and smooth, please.” They nodded and started to work, pulling out some strong scotch that was well aged-handing you the glass after pouring two fingers worth. “Thank you,” you muttered and they nodded, cleaning some glasses as you walked away and relaxed in a quiet corner, giving you a big view of the room-seeing Travers grumbling to himself and drinking more of-whatever he was drinking.

You hoped you wouldn’t catch his eye again, you had happily forgotten about him for so many years-you hoped he would be forgotten again.

You paused at the feeling of a hand tugging at the suit jacket that hung from your shoulders, grazing across and tugging at the open collar of your shirt. “I'm very sure this is my suit,” someone whispered in your ear and you hummed, continuing to drink.

“Well, it wasn’t being used, so I thought, why not give it a night out?” you teased, turning to glance at Tom, who hummed, his eyes on the open collar of your shirt-which was open midway down your chest, revealing your skin. You grabbed his face-making him look you in the eyes-smirking at him. “My eyes are up here, Tommy boy,” you muttered, chuckling at the way his eyes fluttered. Sometimes-you still felt like you were in 6th year, teaching your fellow student how to make out in the dark corners of Hogwarts.

“You look delicious,” Tom grumbled, his eyes finding your exposed skin-his gaze traveling it like he owned it. You hummed, squeezing his face a bit before releasing it, finishing off your drink, feeling a warmth gathering in your cheeks.

From across the room, you could see Lucius Malfoy sputtering at the sight of you with his ‘dark lord’, Tom looking at you like you were his favorite treat. Which-you were-no doubt about that, but it had to be a shock to see all this.

“So this is where you’ve been shacked up since last summer?” you asked, and Tom nodded, his fingers trailing your skin, swallowing as they found the curve of your jaw. You smirked at the reaction, after all this time-you really did have such a hold on him.

“So, I was quite surprised to get an invitation,” you hummed, very much ready to tease Tom for going over the Malfoy’s head to invite you-a muggleborns and professor of Hogwarts-very much someone they wouldn’t like. Tom just chuckled, taking your nearly empty glass and drinking the rest of it with a clean toss of his head, licking his lips as he set the glass down.

“Don’t act so coy darling, this may be the only time we see each other till next break, though it’s not hard to sneak about; Fudge seems adamant on pretending I don’t exist,” Tom chuckled, reveling in the fact that Fudge was making it all too easy to regain his power.

You just hummed, not wanting to talk about his ‘work’, really-you still wondered how you got here.

“We might not have to wait-I’m not sure of my employment at Hogwarts as of late,” you muttered, wanting to take another sip of your drink-but alas, Tom had taken the rest. Tom furrowed his brows, leaning towards you. “What do you mean?” Tom asked, and you sighed-a bit more dramatically than you needed to-turning your face into his shoulder, making your conversation a bit more private.

“Fudge hired a royal git to keep tabs on Dumbledore as the defense professor, and she sucks Tom-she absolutely sucks, she’s practically taken over the school-has no idea how to teach, you could do better drunk.” Tom snorted but let you continue, his thumb rubbing your shoulder as you ranted-your hands waving about as you continued to lean into his shoulder. You began to mock Umbitches shrill tone, counting off her stupid rules. “Boys and girls must be eight inches from each other~ I’m serious Tom! She's a bloody maniac!” Tom was just laughing, having read the paper about the high inquisitor of Hogwarts.

You just huffed “Tom, she has the power to fire teachers-and she doesn’t like me, I might get fired.” Tom cleared his throat, pressing his lips together as he realized you were genuinely upset and not just ranting about a bitchy coworker. You sighed, leaning further into him-his arm wrapping around you in an embrace-his cold gaze forcing others to look away from the two of you-many almost appalled at seeing the dark lord with a Hogwarts teacher. “I love this job Tom, and I’ve worked there for nearly forty-four years, I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m forced to leave.”

Tom licked his lips, his hand trailing down to squeeze your hand. “I’m sure you won’t be fired darling, you’re the best teacher care of magical creatures has seen in many years, she can’t fire you-and while I hate to say this-I’m sure Dumbledore would never allow it…he likes you-for whatever reason,” Tom muttered, honestly you didn’t know how Dumbledore still liked you either-considering you had married Tom fucking Riddle aka the dark lord.

Then again, Dumbledore was weird as fuck.

“You have a point,” you sighed, glancing around and sneaking a kiss on his cheek when you saw no one was looking, chuckling at the warm feeling of his skin as he blushed. “for a dark lord, you always know how to cheer me up.”

“That’s the point of a husband I believe,” Tom said, smirking down at you-that same smirk that spelled trouble for you. Trouble you never minded really. You hummed, twirling your fingers into the tie he was wearing, admiring the pure black suit that lay beneath.

You glanced up, seeing Draco staring at the two of you-as if just realizing something-his jaw dropped open as Pansy and Blaise continued to talk to him-not realizing what had his attention. You held up your finger, shushing the boy gently as you tugged on Tom’s tie and wandered off with him-away from the party.

“Just to note,” you muttered, still holding Tom’s tie as his arm wrapped around you, very much wondering where you were taking him. “Draco is a nice boy-when he wants to be- if you assign anything to him-I will personally kick your ass,” Tom stared at you for a long moment, nodding as you turned to give him a hard stare. “I mean it Tom, he’s just a kid. I can’t stop him if he volunteers but I swear if you, or his father forces him into this bullshit, I can and will do what I must.” At this, you rose your hand, where Tom’s ring sat. Tom swallowed harshly, nodding again.

“Understood,” Tom muttered, his gaze falling to your lips. You chuckled softly, of course you threatening him would turn him on. “Weirdo,” you muttered. “Stupid,” Tom muttered back, pushing you against the wall when the two of you had gotten far enough away from the party and pressing his lips to yours, his hands going under your suit jacket and finding the small of your back, pressing you into him.

You let out a breath against him as he pulled away, his still full and pink lips trailing down your jaw and neck. “Tom,” you breathed, glancing around at the dimly lit hallway-the party only a few hundred feet away. “we’ll get caught,” you were suddenly thrown back to 50 years ago, when you were in Hogwarts, kissing the head boy in the dark corridors after curfew.

Tom just hummed, like he did so many years ago, peppering kisses back up to your lips, holding it long and sweetly before pulling back, his eyes nearly black with want. “you say that like I care, let them see who I belong to,” Tom whispered and you felt your face flush as he leaned back in-his teeth scraping against your neck.

“cheeky,” you grumbled, fisting his suit lapels-honestly-you were wanting this just as much as he did-even when he visited you in your apartment-you hadn’t gone farther than kisses-too wrapped up in sentiment to do anything.

But now-now things were hot and heavy, words that had gone unsaid for so many years cleared from the air and all that was left was fiery passion and need. His lips found yours again and you huffed against him, grinding against him as you felt something hard pressing against you.

Tom groaned lightly, pressing further into you and pulling up your waistcoat and shirt-his always cold fingers finding your skin. “cold,” you hissed and Tom chuckled, drawing his fingers further up your skin. Your breath came out in quick takes as Tom’s hips ground against the place you wanted him most-his tongue and teeth on your neck.

Your hands found his hair and tugged, grinning at the noise that came from him-once again you were reminded of your school days. “now, I’m perfectly fine where this is all going,” you muttered, scraping your teeth on his jaw, enjoying the stuttered breath that came from your husband. “but we’re not snogging in a hallway-either you take me somewhere private, or this stops here and now.”

Tom, his breathing rugged and face flushed, nodded; taking your hand and pulling you further away from the party-going up two flights of stairs until you arrived at a room-he pushed open the door, and immediately you knew it was the one he had been staying in upon his arrival at the manor.

You went to admire the room-the Malfoys did have good taste-but you were grabbed by the waist and tossed on the large bed in the middle of the room-you let out a huff as your back hit the sheets, letting yourself lay there as Tom circled the bed and crawled onto it-soon hovering over you, his eyes still black.

Your eyes closed as he leaned down-his mouth finding your jaw as his fingers went to work on your waistcoat and shirt-quickly unbuttoning the offending articles of clothing-grabbing your wrist to pull you up so he could take them off. He let out a low grumble as he exposed your skin, his cold hands wandering your ever-warm skin. Like the snake he was-he loved how warm you were-ever since you were younger, he would just curl himself as close as he could to soak you up.

You watched him, curling your fingers into his dark locks and sighing as his lips pressed kisses down your chest, laying your head back as his fingers went down to your trousers-his technically- and undid them, pulling them off along with your boots. “Eager, aren’t you?” you hummed, chuckling as Tom huffed, shrugging off his suit jacket and tossing it across the room.

“Do forgive me darling, but we haven't been intimate for about thirty years, so-I’m a bit excited.” Tom grumbled, forging his formal speech at the end-his words fumbling together as he un-did his tie and threw it over his shoulder-his waistcoat going next. You just hummed, enjoying the show while you could. His shirt came off and you smirked, grabbing his belt loops and tugging him up to hover over your waist, his hands slamming behind your head as you undid his belt and pulled it off-next unzipping his trousers-pausing to glance up at Tom. He was breathing heavily, his eyes half-lidded as he stared down at you-his cheeks and ears a nice cherry red.

You leaned up, kissing his stomach and then his v-line, curling your fingers over and under his trousers, tugging them down with his underwear, your thumbs brushing against the happy trail that led down to his cock. It twitched as you pulled his pants down to his thighs-Tom still breathing heavily above you. He muttered your name and you looked back up at him, smirking. His eyes fluttered and then he fell back on his ankles-moving about until he was bare-and then got back to work on you-your underwear following his to the floor-his mouth attaching to your chest.

You let out a soft huff, your face flushing as his hands found your clit-still so skilled after so long. You breathed out his name-sighing as his lips found your neck again, his chest brushing against yours-his nimble fingers soon finding their way inside you; chuckling as your body rolled at the sensation.

“fuck,” Tom muttered, scraping his teeth against your jaw, breathing heavily against your skin. “fuck-I missed you my darling, the feeling of you is one I’ve dreamed of every night-“ you gasped, his lips sealing the noise into his throat as he kissed you-his perfect fucking fingers working wonderfully inside you-knowing exactly how to break you-how to melt you into nothingness.

You let yourself be putty in his hands, you had needed this-to just let go-to forget who your husband truly was-to let yourself fall back into the past-when he was just Tom Riddle and you were his beloved-his only love.

Your cheeks burned hotter as you felt yourself get closer to that peak, Tom’s other hand rubbing your clit in small circles-pulling back to watch you break as your hands went up and around his back, digging half-circles into his skin. “hah-Tom-fuck” you breathed, your hips twitching away from Tom but he held you down, biting his lip as you bucked and curled away from the feeling-only for it to break and overflow with burning pleasure-his name falling from your lips like water.

“You’re so gorgeous when you come,” Tom whispered, chuckling as you gently smacked his face away, pouting up at him. “Cheeky,” you grumbled, your eyes fluttering closed again as you felt the tip of Tom’s cock against you, his soaked fingers lubing himself up with you.

“Are you still on those potions?” Tom asked, gently pressing in and out-just the tip going inside you-making you go crazy. You nodded-breathing heavily as Tom grinned-almost ferally-and pushed inside, your head falling back as a low groan-like moan escaped Tom.

He lay against you, the two of you once again connected in the deepest way two could be. Tom sighed against your neck, wrapping his arms around you and simply staying as you were for a moment. You breathed him in-his cologne still the same-sharp and cold.

You could feel him around you, in you, what was left of his soul intertwining with yours. You ran your hand through his hair, taking it further out of those combed curls. Your eyes found his ring-his horcrux-his soul gifted to you. You sighed, at least you would forever have a part of him that wasn’t Voldemort-you had a piece of Tom Riddle.

You gasped as Tom started to move, kissing you again as his hips pulled and pushed, his cock splitting you open once again after so many years. you breathed his name and he hummed, swallowing your voice and moving down to your neck, scraping the skin with his teeth.

As you both felt that burning grow hotter-Tom sped up, his hands moving to your hips to arch them up-letting him go deeper-and harder. Your body bent back, your hands still in his hair, gasping his name as he rammed into you.

“So fucking gorgeous, after all these years,” Tom swore, if you were of sound mind-you would laugh-he never swore like that, like a muggle-but you rubbed off on him you supposed. “Basilisk venom will do that-“ you muttered, revealing the secret of your youth after so many years.

Tom abruptly pulled back and you laughed, letting your hands fall from his hair as he stared down at you-everything stopping as you did. “I reverse-engineered the chemicals within the venom-combined it with phoenix tears-I am not immortal but my aging process was halted essentially. It was a very difficult potion to make, luckily your little basilisk at Hogwarts was nice enough to let me milk her.” You explained, knowing Tom wouldn’t get back into it until you did. He just stared at you, and then was back on you-thrusting into you feverously “Gods I love you, you brilliant brilliant-“ You made him stop rambling by grabbing his face and kissing him again.

He pulled away and nosed your head back, attaching to your neck and leaving marks, hands tight to your hips as he thrust wildly, panting heat against your neck as that burning feeling grew hotter and hotter. Tom’s hips stuttered as you rolled yours, smirking against his hair as he let out a low groan.

He was muttering something now-in parseltongue-a language you never deciphered, but it was jumbled and crossed with swear words-and it made your insides burn as he muttered them into your ear.

You had absolutely no clue what he was saying-but if you had to guess by the way his grip was tightening, the way his voice was sounding, and the roll of his hips-it was either filthy as fuck or romantic as all hell.

You just sighed, gasping and almost whining as his pelvis brushes up against your clit-being so close to you in each thrust. You breathed his name again and he swallowed the sigh with his lips, his brows pinching as his hips stuttered-a sudden warmth filling up up-one that sent you over the edge and you trembled from the feeling, arching against your lover.

You both breathed heavily as you came down from the high-somehow feeling above the heavens from it. it had been so long since your last, it was bound to feel…different. You carded your fingers through his hair, your other hand tracing the crack-like lines on his face, a moment of peace in the darkness that was swallowing your husband whole.

“Basilisk venom?” Tom eventually asked, his voice quiet against your collar bone-still inside you, still holding you. You just shrugged. “I had a theory, and I tested it, it worked.” You muttered, brushing your thumb against the curve of his cheek, his eyes fluttering at the action.

He was still so pretty, handsome, and grown into his features yes, but still so pretty.

You felt the flutter of Tom’s eyelashes against your skin and you sighed, knowing he was staring at you-like he did in 5th year after you summoned your patronus. He was curious, and he needed to know exactly what you had done to create such a potion. He might’ve been a dark lord-but he was forever a nerd at heart.

“I just had a theory, since Basilisk venom pretty much instantly kills the afflicted within minutes, I thought-I could reverse the effects and use it to lengthen life, maybe pause it even-yes I was inspired by you but I was going about all it in an… ethical way-“ you joked, snorting as Tom pinched your side gently. “anyways, in my theories and experiments-I got my hands on a phoenix tear, and combining it with what I had created so far, created a potion that allowed me to slow my aging process to a near stop. I still age-just-slowly.”

Tom sat up at this, his eyes gazing across your face-which had nearly been frozen in time since you created the life-altering potion.  “I drank that potion at thirty-five,” you whispered, letting your eyes close as Tom’s fingers traveled your face, sloping over your nose and lips. “I’ve only physically aged two years, and yet I’m nearly seventy.”

“Your brilliant,” Tom whispered, caressing the shell of your ear with his lips. You just grinned, tracing your fingers down his back. “you’ve only just now discovered that?” you quipped, laughing as Tom nosed your neck with a grin. “oh shush and take the compliment, I don’t dole them often.” You just chuckled, opening your eyes gently to see him looking at you, still tracing your face with your fingers. His gaze turned serious, and you frowned.

“I know we cannot be as we used to, far too much has changed.” Tom whispered, now hovering above you, and suddenly he looked so much like the man you married. You nodded, reaching up to cup his face, tracing the cracks in his skin. “few of my people know of you, and what you mean to me, many will not hesitate to kill you-do not allow them that chance,” he was closer now, staring down at you with the knowing anguish that this moment-this moment of quiet and peace with you-would be over soon, and he would return to being Voldemort as soon as he walked away from you. “and if I never turn my wand upon you, kill me.”

You stared up at Tom, eyes wide. ‘kill me’, a man so afraid of dead-you could see it in his eyes-was far more afraid of killing you in his madness, of losing you. “swear to it,” Tom whispered, leaning closer, your noses brushing.

“I swear,” you whispered back, your brows creasing as Tom sighed, his eyes closing as his forehead pressed to yours. “…do you regret all this, at all?”

“yes,” he muttered, breath warm across your skin. “I realized none of it was worth it the day you walked away,” you swallowed, remembering that day clearly-it had been the first time he killed someone in front of you-one of his own no less. But that had been before the first war, before he truly became the dark lord. “then why didn’t you stop?” you asked and Tom sighed, moving to rest his head on your shoulder, hands trailing up your sides.

“Because I was selfish, I am still,” is all Tom said, holding you tight.

You lay there for a little while longer, willing for the moment to last even longer-to just be you and Tom-for the impending war to not exist, for the reasons Tom was alive to be innocent.

You had to return eventually, Tom staying in dark corners while you wandered the party-chatting with those polite enough to do so, exchanging greetings with others, chuckling at the look on Draco’s face when you reemerged. “so-you,” Draco couldn’t even finish the sentence, looking extra pale. You just nodded, sipping at the glass of fire whisky.

“yes, I’m much older than I look Draco, so-try not to fry your brain figuring it out,” you chuckled, ruffling the young wizard's hair, he pouted and quickly fixed it. “Do let me know if anything…happens, Draco.” He suddenly looked at you-eyes wide. You just stared back, a soft smile on your lips. “He does listen to me, no matter how far he drifts.” Draco, after a few moments of him staring, nodded. “Good, you’re a good kid Draco, even if you do act like a prat.” You ruffled his hair again and wandered off, Draco not bothering to fix his hair again, swallowing hard as he turned to face his friends.

-

Things went to shit pretty quickly, Umbitch had found out about the army and promptly had you fired along with Dumbledore for conspiring against the ministry. You had stared down Fudge as you walked out the grand doors of Hogwarts, bags collected by the front. Dumbledore had disappeared upon his attempted arrest, and you had been spared the Azkaban treatment.

Umbridge was now to be headmistress, and your kids would be left without a proper defense teacher. You waved your wand over your bags to make them follow you through the air, gave a curt nod to your fellow professors, a smile to your kids, a knowing look to Harry and Draco, and then left-your head held high, disapparating as soon as you crossed the boundaries of Hogwarts.

You dropped your bags as soon as you got back to your apartment, letting yourself fall into your couch as you sighed, rubbing your face. 43 years of teaching, suddenly ripped away all because a flobberworm of a minister couldn’t accept the truth and get his head out of his ass.

You lay there for a good while, just mulling the events of the last year over, before standing and going into your bedroom-sighing again as you lay on your bed. “might as well sleep,” you muttered to yourself, spinning Tom’s ring around your finger as you rested your head on your pillow, your eyes fluttering closed a moment later.

You were just glad you gave Harry another ring of those summoning runes because that kid made it routine to have his life threatened at the end of each school year. Though that wasn’t really his fault.

-

Harry stared down Lucius-his friends all held captive by other death eaters. “Give the prophecy to me, or watch your friends die.” Lucius said, his eyes deceptively calm. Harry knew it was a trick-as soon as he handed the small glass ball over-his friends would be killed and then he would be-it didn’t matter if Harry handed the prophecy over or not.

He focused on the runes on his right arm, feeling a shift in the air-the same shift from the year prior when he had used them at the graveyard.

No one else seemed to feel this shift.

Harry slowly handed over the gleaming glass ball, watching as the smoke within turned black-a shiver went down his spine as Lucius grinned, holding the ball up as if it was the answer to all his problems.

Footsteps echoed, and Harry’s eyes found the figure that was rounding the archway. He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that came from him as Lucius frowned and turned to face you-his eyes widening in panic-very much remembering what was going on the last time he saw you. At the Malfoy Christmas party.

“Get your bloody hands off my kids,” you hissed, stepping forward quickly and punching Lucius straight in the face-sending him flying back with the help of a little extra magic behind your fist. The order of the phoenix quickly arrived after that-flooding into the room and helping the other kids.

The prophecy was shattered, much to the now bloody-nosed Lucius' dismay. He let out a cry of rage and stood-drawing his wand, turning to you and Harry- Sirius joining you after another moment.

“Good to see you, professor!” Sirius proclaimed, a schoolboy smile on his face. You snorted, drawing your wand and facing several death eaters-many not knowing who you were. “Nice to see you too Black, now let’s finish this quickly and get the kids somewhere safe.” You said sternly and Sirius saluted, engaging in a duel with Lucius, Harry fighting by his side as you took care of the several grunts.

It was all too easy; you were on par-or more powerful than their dear master-so it was quick work to dispatch each and every death eater that came your way. Behind you, Harry and Sirius pushed back Lucius and the other death eater-disarming Lucius and knocking out the other. Bellatrix reared on them-quickly engaging in a duel with her cousin, the two taunting each other the whole time as Sirius forced Harry to take cover, knowing Bellatrix had no qualms about hurting kids.

It had all happened so quickly, Harry was watching his godfather fight-Bellatrix took a chance and fired a strong red curse at Sirius’ chest-it made him stumble, drop his wand-and he fell into the veil. By the time you rose your wand to pull his body back-he gave a smile to Harry and disappeared.

Everything went silent for a few moments, and then Bellatrix began to laugh, her eyes wide with mania as you and Lupin leaped forward to stop Harry from jumping in after Sirius. “kid, stop-he’s gone, he’s gone.” You whispered, an unrelenting ache filling your chest as you gave Harry the biggest hug you could-he was just a kid, Sirius had barely lived his life-neither of them deserved this.

Harry screamed; one you had screamed before-when you lost someone so dear to you that you couldn’t help but curse the world. His eyes caught Bellatrix-still laughing as she ran out of the room-Harry breaking free from your grip and running after her.

Your ring felt cold- you knew Harry shouldn’t be alone and you tore after him-yelling his name. “kid! This won't solve anything! Kid!” you followed the sound of Bellatrix’s taunting, winching at the sound of a spell cracking through the air-and you burst into the main foyer of the ministry-seeing Harry pointing his wand at Bellatrix-who was still smiling, though now she seemed like she wasn’t playing anymore.

“you’ve got to mean it little Potter ~” Bellatrix purred, her wide eye son Harry. You quickly ran towards the two-knowing Bellatrix would hurt him as soon as she could. “let me show you how it’s done-Crucio!” the curse nearly struck Harry if he hadn’t ducked-it blew the head of a statue and you quickly flicked your wand-a chunk of the floor coming up and slamming against Bellatrix, who yelped as she was sent to the floor as the stone hit her hard.

“Harry, go,” you grabbed Harry’s arm and threw him backward-eyes locked onto Bellatrix. Harry snarled, words unable to make themselves known as his chest rose and fell with fury. “Kid-she’s stronger than you, you are rightfully angry but she will kill you-I’ll handle her myself, just-leave…” you could tell he was here the moment Harry’s face crumbled a bit-both in grief and in pain.

Bellatrix began to laugh again and you pulled Harry behind you, one hand towards Bellatrix, and your wand at Voldemort. He was hidden behind that mask again, clothed in dark robes that hid his figure, wand in hand. You could feel his eyes on you, burning into you, you stared back, unafraid.

“Move aside,” Voldemort hissed and you raised your chin defiantly. “Make me,” you hissed back, baring your teeth like a lion. Harry grabbed your shoulder-and in a split moment, Bellatrix stood, Voldemort raised his wand, and you pushed Harry back, the boy hitting a wall and you circled your wand about-once again creating a circle of runes that glowed and created a powerful golden shield.

Bellatrix threw every cruse in the book at the shield-only to be frustrated as it didn’t even crack. “Back away! She is not to be harmed!” Voldemort yelled and Bellatrix stumbled, not expecting such words. But the moment she backed off-the shield fell and you slammed your hand on the floor-the floor beneath Bellatrix rising and slamming her against the ceiling-effectively knocking her out as she hit the ground.

Your eyes flashed to Voldemort-and he was already breathing heavily, his eyes hidden behind the mask pinned on you. He threw the killing curse but you quickly unlodged a piece of a fireplace mantel and threw it into the curse-the wooden piece exploding into nothingness.

His gaze turned back to you, and you stared back, raising one arm above your head-hand in a fist-the other pointed at him. Challenging him. what happened during Christmas didn’t matter-that was with Tom. Right now you were faced with Voldemort-a cruel dark wizard who wished to kill the brilliant boy known as Harry Potter.

“Stand aside,” he said again, and only you could hear the desperation behind his tone-everything else was icy and full of death. “Death first.” You said back, and you meant it. you would willingly die before you let an innocent person, let alone a child, meet death's hand.

Voldemort stared, Bellatrix laughed as she woke up, though it died out the longer Voldemort stared at you-and you knew that was a step he dare not take-his eyes drifting to your left hand-where his ring sat atop your wedding ring, his matching ring still on his finger.

“my lord?” Bellatrix said into the tense quiet, and with that you sprang into action-knowing this might be your only chance to bring him down. Your arm went into another circle-five rune circles appearing around you, and you thrust your hand between them-blasts of magic exploding into the air.

Voldemort threw up a shield charm-grunting as the blasts broke the shield and threw him back-shocking Bellatrix and Harry. In the moment of Voldemort's distraction-you flashed forward-your fist going into Voldemort's stomach and he hit the wall behind him-groaning in pain.

“it would do you well to fight back, coward.” You hissed, hearing him let out a choked breath. Bellatrix could no longer stand idly by, going for you with feral eyes and curses falling from her lips. You whirled around-nonverbally blocking each curse she sent your way-jumping to the side to avoid the killing curse.

You heard someone choke your name-but you couldn’t tell if it was him or Harry.

You huffed, all that trouble knocking her out-and here she was again. With a quick swipe of your hand-the wall came apart and slammed into her, you left it there this time. You turned back, throwing up another shield as Voldemort took the chance to blast Harry with a curse, a very dark one. He turned back to you-his chest rising and stuttering as it fell.

Your jaw clicked and you swiped your hand again, throwing one of the bronze statues at him, he exploded it before it hit him and threw a few spells in an attempt to get you out of the way, you countered them all-your breath hitching as Voldemort got frustrated and unleashed a giant snake made of fire.

You nearly copied the move he used to make it-ice blowing from your hand and overtaking the snake-you threw your hand to the side and it shattered-leaving nothing but steam that you manipulated to overtake the room-blinding everyone within.

In that moment, you turned-running towards Harry and grabbing him, running back into the confusing hallways of the ministry, creating a snapping noise with your wand that would make anyone think you disapparated.

You heard Voldemort yell, and then a gasp-a crack in the air-and then;

“he’s back!”

-

It was official, the world now knew Voldemort was back after a long year of denying it. Dumbledore was reinstated as headmaster, you were given your job back as a professor, and Harry had lost his godfather.

You sat at your desk, a glass of fire whisky in one hand as Harry Potter sat across from you, sipping at a glass of pumpkin juice. “I’m, so, sorry Harry,” you whispered, sitting up properly after a long few minutes of silence. You could tell Harry didn’t want to talk, but you had requested his presence in your office-hoping to offer some words of comfort.

“if only I had been quicker, realized what was happening-I could’ve stopped any of this from happening,” Harry interrupted, his voice low and quiet, shaking. His hands trembling around his glass. You sighed, setting your cup down. “I fell for his trap, I went right in and risked everybody because I couldn’t tell what was real or not.”

You stood, going about your desk and kneeling before Harry, taking his hand-your rings missing from your fingers. “you’re a child Harry, and he took advantage of that,” you whispered, squeezing his hand, giving him a small smile. “just as he has done before, and no doubt will do again. Do not blame yourself for his actions-you tried to do the right thing-“

“And look where that got me, Sirius is dead, the prophecy is shattered, and my friends got hurt-“ Harry snapped, glaring down at his lap, ripping his hand from your grip. “because I was stupid enough to not realize it, stupid enough to not listen to Hermonie when she said it could be a trick-stupid enough to let Cedric get killed, stupid enough to-“

You stopped him before he could go further, grabbing him in a strong hug and holding him close. “Harry-you are a child, still learning and growing. What has happened to you in only a year has been horrific, and yes you have made mistakes-but that is what makes you human, that is what makes you you, what matters is not the mistakes you’ve made, but how you’ll make them right. And you’ll make it right by continuing to live, to be yourself, to grieve and cry and shout and be angry,” Harry was openly sobbing by this point, his glasses pushed to his forehead as tears streamed down his cheeks and stained his hands from where he had pushed them against his eyes.

You gave him a big squeeze, tears in your eyes. “im so sorry about what you have gone through Harry, you have been forced into far too many things you shouldn’t be, from the day you were born to now, but I swear, you’re not alone. You never will be. You have your friends, your family, your teachers, Hogwarts-you have so many people on your side, never forget that.” His arms wrapped around you then, crying into your shoulder.

You held him as close as you could, letting him cry it out. He deserved it after dealing with so much bullshit for so long. It just sucked that your husband-the dark lord-was the reason behind it all.

In that moment, you were truly resolved. Your loyalty to your husband only remained in the matters of heart-but you would never never stand with him in the matters of the world, besides-during the duel at the ministry…he seemed less hesitant to fight you.

He was slipping away again. Your Tom was slipping away again.

-end(?)-

Again, this part feels so-disconnected from the previous ones, so sorry if this feels OOC to the previous characters I’ve created T_T I just have ideas and need to write them down-also I read that one Tom/OC fic called seven devils and DAMN WAS THAT A GOOD FIC

[that1fangirrl]

Dancer!Reader Gets Hurt

CW:kinda angsty, some swearing, blind joke, she/her pronouns, kinda scary(idk tbh)

A/N: You guys voted, so here I am delivering. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did writing it. I feel like Jane Villanueva when I write lol. K bye<3

When you and Matt first met, he made it his mission to protect you at all cost. Whether that be from creepy strangers, the frat boys on campus, or the scary mean girls in your dance class. You had told Matt many horror stories about the “bitches” in your class. They hated you since day one. Something about you being Miss Flynn’s favorite student even though you joined the class later than everyone else. And being the sweet boyfriend he is, he agreed with you. 

During a particular week, Miss Flynn had called out sick with the flu, but encouraged the class to continue using the studio as needed.

You guys were gearing up for a new spring showcase coming up in the next few weeks. You were especially ecstatic about your small classical part in the show. It would be your first time dancing solo. And hopefully the requitors in the audience would ask you to come and dance with them once you graduated. All nerves were out in the open. Most of the girls were super proud of you, knowing it’s a tough position to be in, but knew you could handle it and were definitely gonna kill it. 

Sydney and Madison thought it was stupid. “That bitch came here in sophomore year and thinks she can just kiss ass to the top. I bet she’s sleeping with the choreographer or something.” It was laughable how the two older girls always thought you had to be sleeping with somebody in the arts department to get your solo. Especially because everyone knew you were so obviously dating the sweet blind law student who always sat in the corner of the studio waiting to walk you back to your dorm.

“Yeah. She’s probably cheating on that blind guy. He wouldn’t even be able to see it coming. Poor guy, he’d be better off with someone like me.” Little did they know, Matt was extremely aware of their weird feelings. The two of them would constantly ask him random questions and be in his personal space. As if you weren't a few feet away, practicing with Miss Flynn in the same room. He always chose to just brush them off and go back to whatever it was he was doing before. 

Today was no different. Matt knew your nerves were off the charts, so he volunteered to stay with you the next few days while you practiced extra hours. Unfortunately today, he had been forced to help Foggy study for their upcoming test that was stressing him to hair loss. He sent you a sweet “Sorry about tonight, again. I promise to make it up to you as soon as I can, Rosie. ‘Sad face emoji’ ‘heart emoji’” He was so darn adorable. How could you be mad at him when he acts so sweet? 

Practice went great tonight. You had been there for almost 2 hours working with some of the other girls, too. When it was time to go, you decided to hit up the locker rooms to freshen up before going to your dorm. Thankfully, the room was still clean and empty.

The cool water on your muscles felt like absolute heaven on Earth. Your hands gilded across your body slowly and thoughtfully, massaging every area that had been giving you trouble. Once you were done, you wrapped a towel around yourself and walked back to the locker area. The sound of the door opening and closing took you out of your short daze. “Hello?” You craned your neck around the corner when there was no response. You continued drying off and clothing yourself; taking a seat on the bench. Another loud noise echoed off the walls. This time, you stood up grabbing your things and shoving them in your bag as quickly as possible. Trying your best to be quiet, you headed for the door.

Going down each aisle of lockers, no one was seen. You continued closer to the door, grabbing your phone and earbuds as you reached it. Putting one in and dialing your boyfriend’s number, you stayed cautious. Matt had finally picked up the phone with a cheerful “hello.” “Hey Matty. I’m on my way to your dorm. I think someone’s following me.” He perked up on the other side of the phone, immediately hushing a confused Foggy. “Are you okay? Where are you? I’ll meet you there.” You shook your head, walking down the long hallway. “Um. Arts building by the new locker rooms. The ones on the higher floors.”

You took a quick breath before turning around. Nothing. “I’m really scared, Matty. It’s so fucking dark and quiet over here. I heard someone come into the room, but I couldn’t see anyone.” Matt starts haphazardly putting his shoes on, nerves spiking with yours. “Okay. I’m on my way. Just stay on the phone okay. Foggy and I are coming to get you.”

Another loud bang had you quickening your pace. You started to speed up closer to the stairs, holding your phone and bag close to your body. “Okay. Just hurry cause I think they- ahhhh.” “Y/n. Hello? Y/n”

A/N: Did I spook you guys? Are you guys mad at the cliffhanger? Are you biting your nails off? Well don't! Cause I did write a part 2 that you will be getting soon. hehehehe I deadass was writing this shit like I was A from Pretty Little Liars. Like I literally was giggling my ass off so hard. But I was also low-key scared cause I always put myself in my reader's shoes in my mind(if that makes sense), so I literally was paranoid as hell. Anyways, tell me your guys' thoughts. I hope you liked it

[bi-bats]

Hey bitch, it's @chipmunkery <3

13, 32, 40 (no reason in particular 👀), 63, 64 for the ask meme

HEY BESTIEEEEE!! Thank you for sending me an ask even though I'm sure you know the answer to like. half of these questions lmaooooo 💖💖💖💖

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

ooh I actually have to think about this one for a second, hang on

maybe using sensory details and actions to break up dialogue? Sometimes if I think there needs to be a moment between two lines of dialogue but I'm not actually giving the reader a chance to pause by using an emdash or an ellipses, I'll throw something in there to break it up. I have some examples from the damitim fic:

“You’re not talking?”  “No.” “Is that your call?”  Damian puts the teapot on the stove with slightly more force than required, flicking on the burner in the same fashion. “No,” he says flatly. 

okay yeah so in this bit I put that action with the teapot in there as a substitute for a line about Damian pausing, because "he paused" looked boring and felt wrong, so I gave him something to do in that time. This also uses the other bit of advice I posted about the other day about avoiding just saying how a character feels. The action I gave him tells you how he's feeling about it: he's frustrated. But also, he says no flatly, because he doesn't want his words to show that he cares.

Sometimes instead of an action I'll throw in a train of thought because like. If the character has time to notice a smell or to feel something, it creates the breathing room I need to emphasize the dialogue. like here:

“No, I fucking don’t! Damian,” Tim scoffs, as if he’s explaining this to a child, “I’ve been living with Ra’s Al Ghul for the last six years, do you honestly think that Bruce is going to trust me after that?”  And Damian hadn’t thought of that. Hadn’t thought of not trusting Tim, or forgiving him, for even a second.  He is not a fool. He does not think that Tim has spent six years lounging around like a prince in a castle, living in luxury.  That Tim spent six years there and kept his hands clean.  He pretends he does not feel like he’s begging.  “That does not mean you have to leave.”

the time it takes to get from the sentence to the response creates the feeling of the pause even though it's not written anywhere that there is a pause. It just feels like there was a pause while he processed that, and the dialogue is emphasized because of that. Honestly, this is probably the most common thing I do in editing. This actually might not be a common writing tip but I find it works for me and I already wrote all this out and I couldn't think of any common writing tips lol

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

@kieran-granola, @yasmindifference, and @jpeg-dot-jpeg fr this was so easy to answer, everything they write is fucking amazing go read their stuff rn if you haven't already

also honorary mention to you because your stuff is also fucking amazing and I'm EATING IT UP I'VE BROUGHT UP THE JAYBART FIC IN LIKE 4 POSTS AND I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW ADJFAGNAJGLKJF THAT FIC HAS A HOLD ON ME

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

NO PARTICULAR REASON?? NO PARTICULAR REASON, LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN TELLING YOU HOW HARD I WOULD LOSE MY SHIT IF YOU MADE ART TO GO WITH ONE OF MY PIECES???? YOU THINK I LOSE MY SHIT ABOUT YOUR ART NOW??????? JUST WAIT OKAY JUST WAIT!!!!

Alright well first off anything from this list, but also specifically anything where any of them are covered in blood. The way you draw blood is gorgeous and I'd lose my MIND to see one of my ideas with it 😭 I actually once said to you (half-joking) that I added so much blood to the DamiTim fic because I was trying to lure you into drawing it 😂

So, for you specifically:

that one scene in I Know What My Brother Is where DamiTim (TimDami? I don't really like the order of the ship name mirroring top/bottom dynamics but whatever) are on the bed and Damian's resolve is about to break again

jaytimkon cuddling from the first chapter of Bad Days

that scene in scars & stitches where Tim is leaning Jason back so he can stitch him up and Jason leans back way farther than he needs to

oh my god something from You Hear His Voice Once and You Know It Again like. I'd lose my MIND if you drew lazzied Tim akdjfajkf OOOH YEAH MAYBE THE SCENE WHERE TIM IS HOLDING JASON'S JAW AND JASON IS HOLDING TIM'S WRIST AND IT'S RIGHT WHEN THEY BOTH GO GENTLE FOR A MINUTE

I just really love the way you draw intimacy 😭😭😭 all of these moments are SO intimate you know? Also no pressure to draw any of these, and also anyone is welcome to draw any of these too!! It's just easier for me to pick out specific ones for someone whose style I'm familiar with (and also the ones I'm like. I know for sure I would lose my shit if you drew these lmaooo)

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

I hate the word lover okay I just don't like it I hate it SO much adkjfjafurghgurhgaurhgauhra it upsets me okay it's a me problem whatever

I also don't love the whole 'the older one' 'the younger one' etc. thing, but that's more of a general writing pet peeve than in smut specifically. (It doesn't bother me if it's intentional and like. a kink that someone is leaning into? But it does bother me when it's clear that someone just didn't want to use names again)

64. Something you love to see in smut.

emotional intimacy of any kind. even if it's two characters who are hatefucking instead of being deeply in love. I just. I need them to have feelings about each other it's SO much better that way

also praise kink lol "good boy" are you kidding

[olderjodijournals]

TUESDAY, MAY 1, 1990

I am at the store now. I rolled out of bed at the last minute and was dead exhausted. I never fell asleep till about 3:00 this morning. Maybe I’ll go to bed early tonight and record tonight’s shows, Matlock, In the Heat of the Night, and Midnight Caller. I need to buy more blank videotapes.

I just called Nervous. He’s gonna call me later cuz he’s gonna be on the road all day.

I’m gonna call Fran’s and if his machine comes on I’m gonna press *37 and hear his messages. Tracy told me and Andy about that. I guess you can call the phone company to get that so you can hear your messages no matter where you are.

I’m finished with both Tracy and Fran cuz of their bullshit, and I also never got my $10 back I lent Tracy. There I was thinking she wouldn’t take advantage of me or Andy! Now the fucking con artist has nobody, and I hope Bobbie tosses her out on the street.

Later…

The phone company says they may get *59 within a year. That’s supposed to automatically dial the last person to call you. It won’t do me and Andy any harm if people auto-dial us while we’re making our calls cuz sooner or later someone’s gonna call them, erasing our numbers from the auto-dialer.

I can’t call Fran from this phone cuz Carl has a rotary phone here which sucks.

Today I’ve got to mail a check for the phone, rent, gas, and electricity.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 2, 1990

I just called asking for Nervous at work, and Dick, his boss answered and he goes, “What’s he look like? We have a lot of people working here.”

So I said he was bald and had a big fat gut. Then when Nervous got on the phone I told him to tell Dick that me and my friends missed putting funny messages on his machine, but that we won’t cuz Dick is a nice guy.

Nervous has to bring Sasha to the vet today and he better tell them like he said he would that Sasha’s now his cat and to send the bill to him. Then he’ll be up at the store, and I want him to meet me when I get out of school.

Yes! I’m going back to school! I forgot to write about it. I called Jean, the owner of Dunaeff School of Performing Arts and even though she has a waiting list, she’s gonna take me in. And it’s tough to get in, but she’s heard me sing and always said that in her opinion I had a beautiful voice, and of course they have to be honest cuz if you don’t have a voice, they can’t train you, so they’re not gonna waste their time and yours. They have to feel that you have very good potential.

Bill H is still there. He helped me before and is a really good teacher. He will help keep my voice in shape which is all I really need since I’m already trained. This guy worked miracles for me overnight along with good old Nana and Pa’s spirits. (I never did write about the bizarre experiences I had that I believe Nana and Pa were connected to) Anyway, if you suck, he’ll make you good. If you’re good, he’ll make you fantastic. Of course, it would help 100% if I didn’t smoke.

FRIDAY, MAY 4, 1990

Boy, yesterday was a hell of a shocking day. I was sound asleep at 12:30 PM. I didn’t feel like going in cuz I was up all night the previous night and wasn’t feeling too hot. At 12:30, my doorbell rang and I thought it was either the landlord or UPS wanting me to claim a package for someone in the building, but when I asked who it was, a guy says, “Yeah, instead of that long letter I owe you, I got those K.T. Oslin tapes.”

It was my father!!! So he came up and we talked and I played the K.T. Oslin tape for him which he’s trying to get me into like I got him into the Judds.

After that, we went to Friendly’s where Andy’s working and we had a great talk and a lot of laughs, and when Andy asked if Dureen was here too, and Dad said no cuz one of her employee’s husbands is in the hospital, we grinned at each other. Without Dad seeing, of course. He knows what a bitch my mother is and that I value any time I can get alone with Dad.

Then we went to Brightwood Hardware in Longmeadow where I got pig food and supplies and then to Steiger’s where I got two shirts and a skirt. Lastly, we went to Blodgett’s where I got a new guitar for only $138!! And it looks and feels exactly like the Suzuki I used to have which was $215. This one’s a Fender. I didn’t buy the case cuz I’ve got the old Suzuki case.

Jim, the guy below me, said it was great and that I got a good deal on it after he tried it out himself.

Dad intended to buy me the jacket I wanted but since I already got it, he bought everything else, but I paid $70 for the guitar and sheet music of a Gloria song for $3.50 cuz I felt he paid more than enough. Just to be able to be with him was enough.

MONDAY, MAY 7, 1990

Tomorrow afternoon at 4:00, Cousins Boo and Max are gonna take me up to Brimfield where Dad’s helping his friends with the flea market they always used to do before we moved. I dread riding with them, though, only cuz I don’t want them asking me personal questions. Not that Ma, with her big mouth, hasn’t told them plenty as it is.

I won’t be back until 10pm, so I’ll have to remember to set my VCR. I also have to get more blank tapes.

I met this girl who’s very nice and very open-minded about gays. Her name’s Allison and she’s been a regular at the store for quite a while. She’s been eager to work there so she’s been hired to fill in for people who are either sick or need the day off.

Me and Andy may go to the beach this Wednesday, but with our luck, it’ll rain or be cold.

THURSDAY, MAY 10, 1990

I’m at the store now. Tuesday night I had a fairly good time at the Brimfield flea market. The flea market itself was incredibly boring. It was all old rotted antique stuff and as you know, I prefer modern stuff. The family we visited made a fantastic turkey dinner. That was probably only my second real meal in about a month. Max wouldn’t shut up, though, and he knows I hardly ever get time with my dad. If I didn’t love and respect my dad like I do I’d have jacked him up the wall and said, “Would you shut the fuck up?! Give your jaw a break!” God, I thought I was bad. I couldn’t even get a word in edgewise. I’m sure it was all done deliberately, too.

Yesterday I went to Forest Park with this girl named Lori whom I met at the Pub who is so ugly, and then, later on, she and her lover, Rose, came over to my place. Rose is very attractive, except for her teeth. They both seem very nice, but they’re only 18 and 19. I told them that I have to be attracted to the person as well as for the person to be right for me, and also that despite the fact that I do get lonely, I’m just not ready. It’s gonna take a while.

I don’t know if I wrote about the great lesson I had with Bill at Dunaeff. He was totally impressed at how much my voice has developed and matured. He said at first he was scared cuz usually when a student goes away for a while, then comes back, they lose it. He said, “You’re fine. You’ve got the technique. All you need to do is just come in and sing and keep up with it.”

So I was on cloud 9 and I’m waiting for Jean to call me with a set schedule. She’s got a waiting list but is going to get me in sooner which is great.

FRIDAY, MAY 18, 1990

I can’t fucking sleep! I’m exhausted too, so why not? I guess it all comes down to the same answer and that is I am a night person no matter how goddamn tired I am at night. I can only sleep at night in the winter but only for a month or two. I’ll go try again, but first I’m going to go listen to music which I have not done today.

SUNDAY, MAY 20, 1990

Yesterday, Jessie and I went to the Holyoke Mall. We left here at around 6:30 and I didn’t get home till almost 10:30, but we had a great time. I bought this awesome dress. I mean it’s gorgeous. It’s all black with spaghetti straps and it’s the perfect fit everywhere. It makes me look great in the chest and hugs my hips perfectly to bring out the curves.

I also bought a tube top and a white skirt which I like very much, but even with white underwear you can see through it plain as day so I’m gonna bring it back. You can read the tag inside my underwear.

From now on I am only doing fill-ins at work, like when someone’s sick or tired or like if something happens to Allison who’s an epileptic. She’s a super nice girl. I’ve got to call her tomorrow, and also Jackie and Maritza who are customers.

I really want to work 3rd shift or at home doing telemarketing or whatever. Andy and I were discussing applying at the IHOP (International House of Pancakes) for 3rd shift on weekends.

Later…

Tomorrow, or today I should say, Philip may stop up. I don’t know for sure cuz I haven’t spoken to him, but I did speak to his girlfriend Maria who seems really nice.

Also Nervous may come over. I asked him if he’d get quarters for me to do laundry and told him I’d answer all his questions about music theory.

That girl Lisa called while I was asleep to make plans to meet next Sunday, and also I got a call from a guy who works at the headquarters of that 900-line to confirm a message I left. But because I left the message a few weeks ago, I knew it wasn’t mine, so I asked to hear it. Sure enough, some girl left a message saying I was looking for a serious relationship with a guy.

It was one of the women who called me in hopes of having a threesome with her boyfriend. Guess this is what I get for rejecting their offer. They also thought I was nuts cuz I kept playing them the edits when they’d call. Hey, it’s their dime.

MONDAY, MAY 21, 1990

Yesterday I slept and never got up till 10:15 at night, but I’m glad it turned out that way cuz I must, and I repeat, must be in therapy today at 10:00. She’s gonna bitch me out big time cuz I never went last week.

Tammy and Bill’s 4th anniversary is on the 25th so I’m gonna get their card mailed out today, as well as cards for Lisa and Becky who haven’t been doing too well.

So, where’s Nervous? He called yesterday and left a message. I’ll probably be way too tired to give him music theory lessons tonight in exchange for him doing my laundry but sometime today I do have to stop into the store to get my pay.

Also, I’ve got to make a dentist and GYN appointment which I’ve been procrastinating on for the longest time, and also, vacuum, dust, clean my bathroom, stove, toaster oven and microwave. I’m just so sick and fucking tired of housework. I always used to keep up on it during my first two years on my own, then just got so sick of it.

Shit, do I feel a little tired now but that’s basically cuz it’s raining out. It’s always raining. We have had tons and tons of rain. No wonder everyone’s been feeling lousy.

I wish the hell Nervous would hurry up and get a fucking phone so we can get him going and tape it.

Saturday night was hilarious. Andy, Tracy, Bobbie and I all got into a huge fight and after it blew over a few hours later, I edited Tracy who thought it was so funny and well done. It’s amazing how we can fight and say such cruel things to each other and then be such great friends again two hours later. It’s just like me and Andy. The fight was about Andy wanting to cross someone with Tracy as a joke and so he dialed randomly. Just any old number out of the blue. And of all the numbers in the whole city, he managed to get someone who knew and was close to Bobbie. Bobbie was furiously mad. Then Tracy got all upset too, all the while me and Andy were laughing our asses off. Typical luck of Andy’s, who did that a year ago too, calling up some guy that he came onto that happened to be a good friend of his brother Eric’s. The guy never told Eric, though.

If I’d done what Andy did and called a friend of someone in my family, they’d have told the whole world and probably publish it in every newspaper and magazine and then I’d be crucified.

Later…

I just got back from therapy a few minutes ago and I’m now microwaving my lunch so I thought I’d jot down a few words while I’m waiting.

Before seeing Martha, I stopped at McDonald’s for coffee and Tracy was there, so we chatted for about half an hour. She’s hysterical, that one, but in a funny way.

SATURDAY, MAY 26, 1990

Last night Andy and I went to the Pub which wasn’t all that crowded for a Friday night. No one was there, such as Tracy and Nancy or this other feminine girl I once saw and liked. Linda was, though, and there were quite a few other butchy-type women in there, too.

After the Pub, we went over to the Frontier which was absolutely deader than dead. Andy said, “What is this, a private party?” There were only maybe 15 people there. It was a total joke.

Eventually, we may go check out 616. That’s up in the South Hadley area. The Springfield bars are a total waste of time, though. They’re 90% queens and 10% butchies. Where are all the other fems?!

I told Nervous to call me as soon as he woke up. The earlier the better so I can answer his questions and have him help me with my laundry. I want to get that done and the hell out of the way. Also, I’m gonna start getting tired soon. I do want to stay up as late as I can and then try to sleep as late as I can cuz tomorrow (supposedly) Lisa’s coming at 1:00 from Fairfield, Connecticut.

I’m sure she’ll be, if not ugly, then just there, meaning no real attraction. And more of a teenage girl than a woman. Isn’t that all I get? But if she’s a so-called decent, stable and mature person, I won’t be hearing from her again after tomorrow, if she shows up.

Does God really want me to go with guys? Is that what He’s been trying to tell me? All He’d send me, however, would be ugly assholes. It seems that no matter how great a person I may meet, male or female, He doesn’t want me with anyone who really turns me on sexually. Maybe he wants me alone.

[stardustinmyhands]

•••Trigger warning •••

Suicide talk.

5/6/24

Today my stomach is hurting as usual. I just thought of how long I will be waiting to find out anything. It’s gonna be months.

I feel good otherwise, my soreness in my joints in tolerable. I’m taking tramadol and atarax today to stay on top of what I’m feeling.

I’ve already journaled 10 pages, while I watch Return Of The King.

I see my PCP on Wednesday. I need a lot of prescriptions. And I also have a feeling she’s gonna put me on metformin for my A1C. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, but I eat carbs daily. More than I should. Saltines and bread are one of the foods that don’t make me throw up. My favorite used book store is across the street so I wanna go and spend some time there. Trade in some books. Just kill time.

I have my IVIG infusion Thursday . I’m still waiting for my new infusion lab to get the correct order. I got a call from my insurance company that my prescription was approved for my infusions. They just need the right kind of order cause they are an outpatient clinic, even though they are inside the hospital.

I’m peeing a lot today cause of the lasix. And I’m managing to drink water even though it hurts. So yeah I’m peeing a lot.

Every day I try and think of something I’m grateful for. This popped up on my fb memories. I write in journal what I’m thankful for. My insurance, my life saving infusions. I’m 43 and still have both my loving parents alive and they are in good health for their age. My wonderful girlfriend. My wonderful boyfriend. The services I get thru my insurance, like going to the art studio.

I’m thankful that I’m on behavioral meds that work beautifully on me. I take a seizure meds and an antipsychotic med. The seizure meds regulates my mood swings. The abilify keeps me from getting depressed.

Ironically the mood stabilizer causes me to have very low sodium. So I have to take sodium pills 3 times a day. My psychiatrist was willing to lower my mood stabilizer, but was weary to do so cause of my family history of suicide.

My brothers suicide “anniversary” is on the 29th of this month. I’m not upset over it. He was one of my abusers as a child. I think he is free from the troubles that haunted. I have had SMI for several years now. My brother finally got SMI the year he died. He also was put on a new medicine before he died. I think it was an antidepressant. They turn me suicidal, and my brother was my full blood brother. He also never got help for his issues till just before he died. I think that’s what happened to him. Cause he did it in a way he always told my mom he was afraid to. He also left no note. Antidepressants turned me suicidal within a week. I got help. Now I don’t want to sound like a bitch, but my brother was not a good person. He was lying manipulative person. Who used people, hurt them in various ways. And would do it over and over again. I don’t know what he had, there is nothing to find out now. I think he’s free from whatever haunted him. He was drug addict, drank heavily, was in and out of jail the last two years of his life.

My mom is still heartbroken. He was her son, her first born. My mom loves her kids unconditionally. She also doesn’t know a lot of stuff my brother did. My sister in law told me stuff after he died too. I will never get an I’m sorry from him. I’m at work peace with that. I know the suffering is with my mom. I don’t like that. I heard a mourning mother’s cry. It was fucking terrible. I love my momma, I’m gonna say it. I didn’t love my brother. Before I he died I hadn’t seen in 13 yrs. I’ve been with my gf for 13 yrs this summer. She’s never met him. I distanced myself for my well being. I’m upset cause my mom is, not because my brother died and the way he left earth. I went to his funeral cause I wanted to be there for my sister law, not my brother. I don’t like funerals or services. We all knew why we were there. I’m preparing myself for how my mom is gonna feel on the anniversary. She kinda trauma dumps on me. But I allow it cause she was there for me for so many times. Even to this day.

All I know is my brother free and there is nothing else to think about it.

[ash-etherwood]

I HAVE MADE ART AGAIN (Not x der zeit related so bear with me)

these guys are ooold vampire ocs from around 2010 or 2011 and last year i reread the few chapters of the story i made up for them and decided to completely redo everything and make new desings and all. i obsessively crafted a story for them for a few weeks, then forgot about them again for a year, and finally scanned them a few months ago, spinning the story some more and yeah. here we are. they are nothing more than a thought playground for me, i dont think ill ever write something with them but i like to play with them in my brain like little dolls. :3

as stated its a vampire story and the new titel is selfish monsters (which i made up on the spot admittedly lol but i kinda dig it) its generally about a little found family of vampires and humans who hunt and kill vampires they deem 'dangerous' (as in they kill recklessly or especially unethically yeah i know its a whole moral disaster). one day elaine, the leader of the group, encounters a comatose vampire boy and takes him in, waiting for him to wake up, and when he does almost 10 years later, he has no idea who he is or how he got into a coma and everyone tries to help him find out what the fuck is happening. yeah and from this point on, shenanigangs ensue. (^:

refs!!!!!

anne is one of the mentioned human vampire hunters of the group. she is an orphan and was taken in as a teenager by elaine when she lost her mom to a vampire who targeted sex workers. she swore revenge on said vampire and well …. got it in the end i guess. u_u anne is impulsive and witty but hides a lot of insecurities from being bullied as a teenager for … pretty much everything. being poor, being fat, having a single mom who did sex work, it was a whole thing. she is VERY opposed to the idea of being turned and made it very clear that when she dies she wants to STAY dead and guess how that works out,,

chris(topher) is the coma boy who doesnt remember who he is, where hes from, and who turned him and why, he doesnt even know how old he is, but after a while he finds out he was killed and turned by a cult leader in the late 70s whose goal was to resurrect jesus, but he disturbed the ritual and got into a fight with said cult leader which almost killed him again (undead version) but he fell into a coma instead. chris is filled to the brim with catholic guilt and bisexuality and cant stop helping people in danger. </3 (and biting lucas) he is also immune to crucifixes because his cult tortured each other so much with them that they became numb to the pain they inflict on them which yaaay!

lorelay is elaines best friend/right hand/girlfriend/soulmate/secret fith thing and she is a bitch ass tsundere goth girl who secretly cares about her shitty human brat sibling a lot and prides herself in being unnecessarily cruel. she is responsible for 'aquiring food' because elaine and chris both dont like to think about the fact that they have to kill to survive. she is the oldest vampire in the group, being turned in the early 1600s by an evil abbess who liked to collect pretty girls like dolls. if she is concerned for you she will throw you against a wall and yell at you. lovingly.

lucas is another human vampire hunter who got kicked out by his shitty dad for being trans and got picked up by elaine in the streets. hes a pretentious asshole who struggles with being nice, is annes best friend (later boyfriend), and acts insanely rude towards chris when he first wakes up, later discovering he just had a giant crush on him and didnt know how to act upon it,, he is incredibly horny for vampires and wants to be turned sooo bad or just bitten a lot please oh god somebody bite him and rip his clothes off and hhjassdjdgq,, he is a problem boy.

elaine is the group leader and and cant walk past an abandoned teenager without adopting them, sadly. she feels immense guilt about being a vampire and constantly tries to straighten it out by doing good things and helping people, hates thinking about what it means to kill to survive, and at the same time feels SO much anger towards humanity and surpresses her rage all the time which is. not good. she needs help tbh.

last but not least, magdalene the 2000-year-old-died-at-16 undead cult leader herself, who wants to resurrect jesus by stealing reliquaries from all over the world and performing a wittle necromancy on them,,, maggie says she just wants to bring back the messiah to free humankind but she actually. well. knew mr. christ personally in real life and misses him and doesnt know how to make other friends so. time to start a cult. <3 when getting new people for her cult, she targets already christian people in their late teens/early 20s and later assigns them the name of an apostle. everytime one of them dies, she find another one to fill their role. (chris was judas btw. it came as a real shock when he betrayed her. (^: ) she also kills anne which more or less forces chris to turn her to save her life because he couldnt stand the thought of losing her and well. its a whole thing.

yeah that was only a FRACTION of the extrensive vampire lore and story i have spun for them already but. if you have any questions i would love to be normal about them. :3c