#or let go of the chance to fight his rain team

[goldensunset]

coughinh. ok

[vroomvro0mferrari]

LN4 | Win & Woo

Summary: Congratulating Lando after his first race win is a lot more difficult than you expected. When you finally get the chance to, he reacts differently than you anticipated.

Lando Norris x best friend!Reader

WC: 3.1K

Warnings: Cursing, making out

Masterlist

You’re watching from the garage as Lando drives around the track. You keep your eyes on the screen in front of you as you bite your nails. You don’t think you’ve ever been this nervous before. Lando has been leading the race for over twenty laps now, and it’s only a few more until he wins – his first win. Your heart is beating out of your chest as your eyes are locked on Max’s gap to Lando, not even paying attention to everything else that’s happening on track. You’re grinning widely, barely keeping in your excitement, when you see the number get larger at every glance. You’re trying to calm yourself down, to not get too excited too early because you know from earlier experiences that everything can go wrong in one split second, even on the last laps, but there’s no rain today.

You hear the commentators speaking in the background as you stare at the TV. Every time they say something about how this might be Lando’s first win, your heart skips a beat, mentally scolding them not to jinx this wonderful opportunity. Your focused gaze on the screen doesn’t falter as Lando starts his last lap. No matter what happens around you, your eyes are pointed that way. You’re fumbling with your fingers and nibbling on your lip anxiously as you watch Lando turn through the last corners, a smile slowly making its way on your face.

Next thing you know, you’re screaming, jumping and cheering as Lando crosses the checkered flag first. You’re smiling so big that your cheeks hurt as you hug Max and cheer with the team. You quickly congratulate the team before rushing to the parc fermé, hoping to congratulate Lando before he’s whisked away for the podium. 

It’s busy – what else did you expect? You can barely work your way through the crowd, but you try anyway, pushing people aside to see your best friend. You can’t see him yet, but you hear the cheers of people as he appears on the big screens nearby. You watch how he’s congratulated by his competitors, as Fernando and Carlos come over to hug him and how Lando takes a sprint to the team awaiting him. He’s got a big smile on his face, a blissed-out look, when he jumps over the fence into the team who’s ready to catch him. 

You’re close enough to see him on top of the crowd of orange, but he can’t see you. That doesn’t mean he’s not trying to, tough. The second he got out of the car, he was searching for you, and that’s what he does as soon as he’s got both his feet on the ground again. But before he can properly look around, Zak has found him, and then Andrea, and in no time he’s led away from where you’re standing. It’s useless for you to fight your way to the front when he’s already gone. So you change your course, quickly move back, and rush to the podium.

You search your way through the seemingly maze-like paddock as you hurry to make it to the podium in time. You can hear the drivers talk about their race over the speakers that are everywhere while you walk and you can hear Lando laughing in the background, but you don’t let it distract you; you’re on a mission. 

When you get to the podium, you’re once again pushing through the crowd in search of a place in front, somewhere Lando can see you. Thankfully, Zak spots you and helps you out, pulling you to stand in front of him where Lando’ll be able to find you. Although Lando hasn’t told him, Zak has caught wind of his secret crush and knows that he’ll probably be searching for you in the crowd of orange.

You cheer and clap politely when Charles and Max walk to their respective podium steps, but you watch with tears in your eyes and pride welling up inside you when Lando runs onto the stage. You clap and cheer as loudly as you can, staring up at him on the highest step. You can see his eyes flitting around in search of you while he pumps his fist through the air. His face lights up with happiness as soon as he finally spots you in the crowd. He winks with a big grin, and your smile grows even more in response. You can’t feel anything but delight at his achievement – the goal he’d been trying to reach ever since he stepped foot into his first kart, his life-long dream. The tears of joy are rolling down your face; you’ve never been so proud. 

He smiles at you from his spot that’s much too far away and sticks up his thumb as if he’s asking you if you’re okay. You laugh at the motion and nod your head. Of course, you’re okay, you’re more than okay, you’re elated.

You admire Lando in his essence. He looks so pretty up there, face turned towards the sun with his eyes closed, soaking in his victory. He wipes under his eyes, and while some might question whether it's sweat or tears he’s wiping away, you know it’s the latter.

You cheer when the anthem ends, and then again when he throws the trophy up, nearly gasping in shock when you see it flying through the air. It would be such a Lando thing to break his first P1 trophy, but he catches it in time and places it securely on the ground, although it’s not necessarily safe there either.

You can’t seem to take your eyes off him, not when Andrea’s handed his trophy, or when Max gets his. And when Charles receives his prize, your gaze is still focused on Lando. But then again, he’s staring at you too. Your eye contact is so intense that Lando doesn’t see the champagne coming. Absolutely shocked at the cold beverage that’s sprayed on his face. And even if he had seen it coming, he would’ve had no time to react to how fast Max and Charles were targeting him.

He’s wiping his face, this time not because of tears (or sweat), but to get the slightly burning alcohol out of his eyes. His hands are slippery when he shakes the big bottle of champagne before slamming it. He can’t see that well right now, but that doesn’t mean he can’t aim well. He grins when he hears you squeak at the cold fluid, even though he doesn’t see your reaction with his head turned away.

Your eyes follow Lando’s every move as he wipes the champagne from his face and takes a sip before spraying the bottle again. You can’t help but admire him like this. He looks so happy up there, smiling in joy while he and his colleagues cover each other in champagne. His beaming smile and damp hair, which is curling more than ever, make him look so beautiful, too. You know you shouldn’t be thinking like this – he’s your best friend, but you can’t help it when he looks so pretty up there.

After he has his picture taken, he makes eye contact with you again. He nods his face towards the side, eyebrows raised, silently asking you to meet up with him and you nod in response. Quickly leaving the podium and making your way to the motorhome, you feel Lando’s eyes pricking your back. He feels so lucky, so incredibly lucky, to have you here with him. He can’t believe that you chose to fly out here for him, that you care about him so much that you’d fly around the world just to watch him work. He’s overjoyed to have you here with him to celebrate his first Formula 1 win; to have his best friends here, although he secretly wishes you were more than that.

Lando finishes his duties as quickly as possible, rushing through all the polite talks with the team members, celebrities and competitors so he can go to you. He gets antsier every time someone stops him on his way to his driver’s room, and when Zak stops him to have an extensive talk about his amazing performance, and how much he deserved it, he’s had enough.

“Sorry, Zak, but can we do this later? Y/N’s waiting in my driver’s room and I really want to celebrate with her right now. I haven’t been able to talk to her yet, and-”

Zak grins while Lando rants. He knows there’s more than friendship between you and Lando, and Lando’s current behaviour is only proving him right. 

“Of course, Lan. Enjoy the moment!” He says grinning, patting Lando on the back before pushing him in the right direction.

Lando thanks him before rushing off. Now that he’s finally out of the grasp of the needy people at the podium, he’s basically running through the paddock to get to you as quickly as possible. Completely overheating from the Miami sun, he unzips his race suit before entering the garage. He shakes hands with the team members he comes across, accepting their congratulations with a hasty smile, and hugs Oscar when he runs into him but doesn’t pay them much attention otherwise.

Lando doesn’t even take a moment to calm his mind before rushing into his driver’s room. You squeal in surprise when the door smashes into the wall, and Lando lifts you up into the air before you can catch a look at him. He squeezes you tightly to him as he twirls the both of you, your arms wrapped around his neck so you don’t fall.

You giggle at the feeling of his face pressed into your neck as he slowly settles you onto the floor. Not wanting to let go of Lando yet, you slide one hand over his back as the other combs through his hair while you stay close. The champagne covering his curls makes your hand sticky, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You can smell the sweet alcohol on him as he leans his head on your shoulder and sighs.

The big smile on your face refuses to fade as you whisper, “You won”. You can feel Lando’s cheeks pressing against your shoulder as a smile takes place on his face. Running a hand through his hair once more, you feel the happy tears rolling down your face again. You move your hands away from Lando so you can wipe your face as you sniffle. Lando’s head lifts as soon as he feels the weight of your hands disappear. Holding your waist and gazing into your eyes, he asks, “Are you crying?” with a teasing smile on his face.

You punch his shoulder and roll your eyes, “Shut up!” 

You wipe under your eyes again before sighing, “I’m just so proud of you,” you say, arms hanging limply at your sides.

Lando stares at you intensely, his silly smile still on his face. His gaze is so penetrating that you nearly feel the need to look away. Lando is oblivious to how piercing his eye contact is, only focused on the thoughts that are racing through his mind. No person would cry at the achievements of their best friend, right? Max wouldn’t be crying right now, that’s for sure. Does that mean that maybe you see him as more than a friend? He certainly hopes so. Lando can feel the adrenaline running through his body as he looks at you, it’s pushing him to do things he’s not sure will work out well. He doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, but he wants to kiss you more.

Lando smiles at you, wiping your cheeks clean while he watches you. His hand rests on the side of your face while the other slides down to your hip, where he pulls you in close. He banishes all the thoughts from his head and kisses you with full conviction, with no hesitation (or thoughts) in his brain as he lets his body take over.

His lips move against yours aggressively while his hands grapple to pull you closer. He grips your hip tightly and uses it as leverage to press your body against his while his other hand moves from your cheek to the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair. The feeling is heavenly, something he has wanted to feel for so long. It feels so right to kiss you, and to feel your body against his.

He’s completely lost in his passion and adoration for you as he kisses you. Meanwhile, you’re in shock. You didn’t expect Lando to kiss you, especially not as fervently as he did. Your surprise left you frozen, completely unmoving, apart from Lando’s hands pulling you nearer. The firmness of your body doesn’t mean the kiss is unwanted, though. In fact, you’re just about to pull Lando closer when he realises your unresponsiveness. His mind switches back on and races faster than his car a moment ago. Fuck – you don’t want this. You’re too polite to stop him, but you don’t want this. He just screwed everything up. Once it dawns on him, he pushes you away so fast you think you’ll have a whiplash.

Your hands are still up in the air where they were about to touch Lando’s chest as you stare at him in shock. He runs his hands across his face in frustration at his fuck-up as he avoids your gaze. He turns away from you, so you can only see his back, his very muscled back, as he sighs and mumbles to himself.

He turns around to face you. You can see the guilt in his eyes when he tries to explain, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that” 

You stay quiet as you process Lando’s confession. Why is he apologising? 

He sighs once more at your silence, running his hand over his face, again. He looks up at you through his lashes but doesn’t say anything. You’re about to respond when he continues, “No, fuck it. I’m not sorry. I love you.”

“Lando,” you tell him, breathlessly. You step closer to him and smooth your hands over his shoulders and towards his chest, “kiss me?”

You don’t have to say that twice. Lando grabs your waist as his lips meet yours in another rough kiss while your hands shoot up to hold his face. He pushes you up against the door as he nibbles on your lip. You moan softly at the feeling of Lando’s body against you, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. You can taste the champagne on his tongue when you kiss him back just as passionately.

Your hands find their respective place in Lando’s hair again and you pull on the curls softly, earning a quiet groan in reward. The sound gets you hot, and it doesn’t help when Lando lets his hands wander over your body. He squeezes your ass gently before hoisting you up and you immediately wrap your legs around him in reflex.

Lando leaves you panting when he moves his kisses from your mouth to your jaw. He manages to pull another moan from you when he sucks on the skin behind your ear. Softly biting before soothingly licking the soft skin, most definitely leaving a mark behind. But that’s exactly his goal, his plan even, as he sucks love bites along your neck. And as much as you love the feeling and don’t want to think about anything but Lando in this moment, the thoughts of leaving the paddock later with the race winner, and the amount of paparazzi that’ll want a picture of him, penetrate your mind. So, you push Lando away from your skin.

“Lan,” you gasp, “we should stop.”

It takes a few seconds for Lando to get his mind back into the right headspace, a headspace in which not every thought is obsessed with you. He stares at you with hazy eyes, and you stare back. Dear God, it’s hard not to kiss him again when he looks like this, with his hair wet from the champagne and messy from your hands and his lips swollen and red from your heated kiss. You nearly let out another moan at the sight, but bite your lip to prevent it.

“Baby, don’t bite your lip if you don’t want me to kiss you,” Lando says hoarsely.

“Sorry.”

You’re both panting while you stare at each other. Neither of you is sure how to continue now. Lando admitted he loves you, should you say it back now? You do love him, but maybe you should wait until he says something. Does this mean you’re dating now? Is he your boyfriend, or do you have to ask first? It’s so unnecessarily confusing and complicated.

“I love you,” you finally admit.

Lando smiles at the confession, “You do, huh?” He says cockily. 

You punch his shoulder again, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like… I don’t know. You’re all smug about it, but you said you loved me first, so I win.”

He laughs at your response, “Sure baby, you win.”

You smile at him, “So, does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?”

Lando has a big grin on his face now while he stares at you adoringly, “Yes, if you want me to be,” he says sweetly.

“I want you to be,” you murmur, fiddling with the strands of hair that are falling into his face.

“Good, because I want you to be my girlfriend,” he responds, pulling your chin up.

You smile a big grin at his admission. 

“So, now that that’s settled, can I kiss my girlfriend?” Lando asks with a cheeky smile, to which you merely nod in response.

Lando pulls you closer by your chin, gently placing his lips back on yours. This time, you can feel him smile against your lips while he kisses you softly and lovingly. Nevertheless, the kiss is passionate and lustful. How could it be anything other than that when this was the best day of his life. He just won his first Formula 1 race and got the girl. There's absolutely nothing that could ruin this perfect day, he's sure of it.

[junkdrawerfics]

Gonna ask me to dance, Cowboy?

Jasper Hale X Reader

Summary: Reader was in an accident that damaged her spinal cord and left her temporarily wheelchair bound. It's during this time that the Cullens move to Forks, and she meets and falls in love with Jasper. A little bit of your story, wrapped up with a big surprise at the end. Requested by @twilightlover2007

Words: 2457

Note: Obviously went with Jasper and boy did this take on a life of its own! I hope you like it!!! It's a little cheesy, but that's what I like.

Disclaimer: I have limited knowledge of temporary paralysis and life with a wheelchair. If I'm wrong about anything, please let me know!

---

The accident happened before the Cullens moved to Forks. You don’t remember much of it, which the doctor says can be common given the head trauma you experienced. All you know is that you were driving home from a game and a drunk driver decided not to stop at the red light.

The accident left you with some severe damage to your spinal cord. Not irreversible, but enough to strand you in a wheelchair. It took almost two months alone for the fractures in your leg to heal, and then another to find a good physical therapist in Seattle who could work with you.

In the midst of this, the Cullens showed up. And you fell for Jasper like a newborn fawn trying to walk for the first time. A fitting comparison considering your legs worked just as well. 

Your friends thought you were crazy. Afterall, he was the least…approachable of the group. Always frowning. Not at all talkative. Everyone thought he was a bit of a grouch. But you knew better.

You met the real Jasper the first Friday after they arrived. It was another game day, meaning your little high school was going all out cheering for the team throughout the day (even though everyone knew you didn’t stand a fighting chance). 

You were making your way to the pep rally at the end of the day when someone jostled you from behind, sending your wheelchair right over the sidewalk’s ledge and into the grass. You cursed the school’s outdoor hallways so hard that day. It was raining, as it always was, and the moment your wheels hit the ground, you could feel them sink into the mud.

You were effectively trapped.

Or at least, you thought you were. Until a certain blond appeared out of nowhere.

---

“Are you alright, miss?”

You huff out a laugh, trying to keep a smile despite it all, “Yah, yes, I’m okay. Just a little stu-”

When you look up, the words get stuck in your throat. Jasper Hale. Jasper Hale is standing right in front of you, in the rain, hair already sticking to his face, and despite the concern dripping from his features, you can’t help but notice how absolutely gorgeous he is. How did you not notice before?

Before you can stop yourself, the thoughts spill out of your mouth, “Wow, you’re really pretty.”

Shock flickers across the blond’s face, though it’s quickly replaced by a soft smirk that makes his eyes crinkle just a little, somehow making him look more attractive. You blink. And blink. And blink. Until what you said finally sinks in.

Your face goes impossibly red. 

“I am so sorry,” you squeak, eyes wide. His smile only widens when you continue to sputter, “I’m fine! Really. And um, I, you can, you don’t have to worry! I’ll just-”

You try to push yourself forward, anything to escape this moment, but your wheels just spin futilely in the mud. You’re not going anywhere, not without help, and Jasper seems to know that, his gold eyes glinting with amusement. You purse your lips, face only going darker.

“Would you like help, darlin’?” Jasper asks, voice low and honey-like, and wow - it seems so unfair for someone to look so handsome and sound like that too.

You cast him an embarrassed smile, “Yes please. If you really don’t mind, that is.”

The blond chuckles, the sound making your heart flutter. He makes it look effortless, the way he maneuvers you out of the grass and back onto the hallway sidewalk. You hum happily when you’re back on solid ground, wheeling back and forth a bit to dislodge the mud from your rims.

“That’s better,” you sigh, spinning back to face him, “Thank you so much.”

Jasper nods, “It was my pleasure, miss.”

You roll your eyes playfully, “Please, call me (Y/n). (Y/n) (L/n). Miss makes me feel so old, and I’m like, a hundred percent sure you’re older than me.”

Something flickers behind his eyes, but it disappears as quickly as it came. 

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss (Y/n).” You narrow your eyes, but he only grins a little teasingly, which you refuse to admit makes your pulse race even more. “The name’s Jasper Hale.”

“Nice to meet you too, Jasper.” Officially at least.

“I suppose you were headin’ to the rally?”

Your nose scrunches,“Yep. Before the impromptu shower, at least.”

“Would y’mind if I accompany you?” 

Blinking, you glance up at him in surprise. Jasper just looks down at you, face still set in a charming, calm smile, so different from the scowl you’d grown accustomed to in passing. He’s being genuine. Actually genuine. It makes your face go warm all over again.

“I think I’d like that.”

---

You don’t know what possessed Jasper Hale to help you that day, but he did.

From then on, you and Jasper became friends. He was still a bit odd, but his whole family was. And you liked them. Even Rosalie, whose bluntness was refreshing compared to most of the girls at your school. You befriended all of them, but you and Jasper were particularly close.

Falling for him was easy. Between the soft smile he seemed to reserve only for you and the way he always supported you, how could you not? You realized it after a particular hard day of physical therapy, when your legs were aching and it felt like you were making absolutely no progress. It was a day that Jasper offered to pick you up because your dad had to work late.

---

Jasper can tell you’re upset before he even reaches you.

You sit at the entrance to the rehab center, head ducked, fingers fidgeting in your lap. You see Jasper’s shoes first before he’s kneeling in front of you, honey eyes dark with concern as they flicker over your features. You look back at him, eyes blurry with unshed tears.

The blond’s gaze softens, “Oh, darlin’.”

And you break.

All the pent up frustration and guilt you’ve been holding onto comes pouring out. You manage to stay quiet, barely, but your whole body trembles with your tears as you collapse forward into Jasper’s arms. He holds you close, not saying a word, just humming softly into your hair.

The longer you stay like that, the calmer you feel. It’s like magic, the storm of your emotions calming to a dull roar, until you can take in a few deep breaths

It’s only when your hiccuping goes quiet that he draws you back, eyes scanning you again. You glance down, feeling too raw, too vulnerable like this, with his thoughtful gaze burning over you. But you also feel undeniably safe somehow.

“You’re doin’ so well, darlin,” he eventually murmurs, voice low, soothing your frayed edges. “I know you’ve been hurtin’ and you’re feelin’ like giving up, but we’re all so proud of you. Someday you’ll be back on your feet and I’ll be here ‘til that day comes. And long after it.”

It’s the most you think you’ve ever heard him say at once. His words ring with something so genuine, you can’t help but melt.

“Thanks, Jasper.”

“Always, darlin.”

---

It felt like more than a promise about that day. More than just a friend being there for another friend. And it was the moment you realized you really liked Jasper Hale. 

It was only a matter of time before you learned about his world.

None of them told you, of course. They couldn’t. But the truth was hard to deny when a lone vampire came through Forks and almost killed you. 

You knew it was a bad idea to go out by yourself. Even though your legs were getting stronger from your perseverance in physical therapy, you still couldn’t walk by yourself. Which made you quite the easy target.

Luckily, Jasper was just in time to save you.

After the shock, though, came all your questions. Why did that man try to bite you? How did Jasper throw him all the way down the alley? How did he know where to find you and that you were in trouble?

A silently distraught Jasper ended up taking you back to the Cullen house. The air was tense, except for Alice, who was more than excited. She foresaw it all, of course.

Carlisle explained it all to you as Jasper paced off to the side. A scowl lingered on his lips, his eyes set on something distant. The moment you felt a flicker of panic though, he was there, kneeling at your side, smoothing a hand over your shoulder. You covered his with your own, holding on so tightly that if he were human, he'd probably be hissing in pain. You had a good grip strength from wheeling around for a few months.

It took time to settle into this new reality. Jasper gave you space to process, scared to push you too hard, but you wouldn’t have it. Vampire or not, you couldn’t stand the distance. You hadn’t realized just how ingrained he was in your life until then. Whenever something happened, no matter how small it was, you wanted to rush to him and tell him everything. You hated life without him.

So you ended up asking him out.

Dating came as naturally as breathing. Nothing changed. He still drove you to physical therapy and walked you to all of your classes. Only now, he would press a kiss to your forehead when you parted ways and take you on dates after every p.t. appointment. 

You had never been happier.

That’s when you came up with an idea for the upcoming school formal.

---

“You ready, darlin?” Jasper pauses at your side of the car, wheelchair pulled out and set up behind him.

You grin, squashing the nerves buzzing in your chest before he can sense them, “Yes! Now help me out of here, mister.”

The blond chuckles. He helps you down from the car, touch overwhelmingly tender, as if he’s scared of breaking you. Which, you suppose, he could. You settle into your wheelchair with practiced ease, your dress only causing a little trouble.

The night starts off perfectly. You take your pictures and meet up with his siblings inside the venue. Everything is beautiful. As usual, Forks high went all out with the theme. It’s something cheesy, like ‘a night under the stars’, everything draped in a deep navy blue, the ceiling decorated with shimmering stars.

When the dancing starts, you give Alice the cue. She sends you a little wink before dashing off to the dj booth. You catch Edward grinning out of the corner of your eye. It was impossible to keep him out of it, what with the whole mind reading thing, so you just shoot the man a playful glare. He stifles a chuckle, making an excuse to go get some punch, despite the fact he can’t drink it.

Sighing softly, you steel your nerves, spinning back to your boyfriend.

“Hey,” you call, catching the cuff of his suit.

Jasper’s eyes turn to you, and oh, wow, you’ll never get used to that. The way he looks at you, it’s like you’re one of the stars decorating the night. His eyes glow with an overwhelming warmth and something so so fond. All of a sudden it feels like you’re the only two in the room, everything else fading away.

“Yes, darlin?”He hums, slipping your hand into his to brush his thumb over your knuckles.

The touch sends sparks cascading over your skin, settling in your chest among the wild butterflies. You bite your lip to try and hold back a massive smile.

“You gonna ask me to dance, cowboy?” You tease.

A smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth.

Jasper makes a show of pretending to tip a hat, voice bright with amusement, “My apologies ma’am. I shouldn’t have kept you waitin’.”

“Mmm, I’ll forgive you,” you hum, biting back a laugh, “just this once, Mister Hale.”

“That’s very kind of you, darlin. Now, would you give me the pleasure of escortin’ you to the dance floor?”

“Why, of course.”

Jasper figures he’ll hold you up as you dance, or maybe spin you while you sit. Anything you want.

Except you do neither of those things. Instead, you gather every ounce of your strength, and shakily push yourself to your feet. Your wheelchair disappears (thank you Alice) and you stand there, all on your own.

After a few seconds, you’re certain that your legs won’t give out, and glance up at the blond expectantly.

Jasper stares back at you, eyes wide, brows arched. It almost looks like he’s forgotten to breathe, his whole body rigid. Shocked. Your grin finally breaks loose, so wide it makes your cheeks ache. Squeezing his hand, you take a tentative step closer. A little wobbly, but you stay standing. It’s only one step, but -

You’re walking.

In an instant, Jasper’s hands are cupping your face, and it’s only then you realize you’re crying. Tears race down around your smile and he’s quick to wipe them away, drawing you close so he can rest your foreheads together.

“My Lord, darlin-” He lets out a breathless laugh. “-you’re goin’ t’make this old man’s heart start again.”

You giggle, curling your arms around his neck, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Been a long time since I’ve been surprised.”

“But I did?”

“Yes, you certainly did.”

Jasper leans down, pressing his lips to yours. It’s soft, featherlight, and you feel like you’re floating. It’s perfect. Everything about it is perfect and so much better than you expected.

The vampire pulls back, just enough to whisper against your lips, “You’re amazin��� darlin. Absolutely amazin’.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” you hum back, “Now, dance with me, cowboy.”

Your song comes on. The one you first danced with Jasper to in your kitchen, when he set you on his feet and held you close to support your weight. A knowing grin falls across his lips, his eyes creasing as he looks down at you.

“It would be my pleasure.”

Unlike that first time, you don’t have to stand on his feet. You don’t even have to clutch onto him to stay upright. Instead, you rest your hands on his shoulders, and Jasper traces his along your waist. The two of you move together slowly, perfectly.

By the end of it, you’re leaning against him, head tucked under his chin, just soaking in the feeling of his arms around you, his lips pressed to the crown of your head. Your legs are shaking, but you don’t care.

This is everything you could ever ask for.

---

I had fun writing this!! It came really clearly for me, though it ended up being a lot longer than I thought because I wanted to add so much exposition.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

More Curly Shepard Headcanons

-Him and Angela used to go ‘swimming’ in the ditch when it rained and Tim always got SO pissed

-Him and Ponyboy share music and it’s the worst music in the universe and everyone else in both the Shepard and Curtis gang refuse to ever let them control the record player, cassette, or radio

-Was that kid who could not handle red dye in his food and whose parents could not care less so my guy was tweaking in his first grade classroom

-Angela once dared him to eat grass and he did

-He is good at flirting to distract someone or get out of trouble or to look tuff but HORRENDOUS at flirting with someone he’s actually interested in so for a while before him and Pony got together his behaviour was strange af

-Angela once dared him to moon a Jehovah’s Witness who kept coming to their door and he did

-Marlboros are kind of considered ‘girly’ cigarettes in Tulsa but they’re Curly’s favourite until he gets together with Ponyboy who converts him to liking Kools best (because Pony always smells like Kools and they’re the only kind he ever has on him and Curly isn’t gonna smoke his own cigs when he can steal his boyfriends so)

-Angela once dared him to snort pudding powder and he did. He had to mouth breathe for three days until all the pudding was gone but he swears he met god himself and that it was worth it

-Not a fan of any sort of physical contact, partially because he’s used to contact meaning pain, and partially because he just doesn’t like it. He’ll allow a hug from Angela when he gets home from the reformatory, and he used to hold her hand when they were little and one of them was upset, but usually the only person he actually likes to touch him is Ponyboy

-Angela once dared him to climb a telephone pole and he did and he broke his arm in three places and Tim was pissed

-He goes to track practices to support Ponyboy but it’s less support and more living heckling. If anyone else joins in on the heckling though, Curly throws hands. After the third fight Curly got banned from spectating on any school sporting events or practices so now he stands just off school property and throws gravel at the track team when they run past

-Angela once dared him to shave off both of his eyebrows and he did and then they grew back SUPER thick

-He used to bait alley cats into fighting each other until he got invited to a chicken fight by one of the guys in the Shepard gang and realised it was SO much better to watch

-Angela once dared him to rob a liquor store and he did. Tim made Angela stop giving him dares after that.

-Curly is smart enough to not antagonise Darry Curtis any more than he antagonises anyone else but he absolutely DELIGHTS in annoying Sodapop whenever he gets the chance and Soda is ready to fight on sight atp

[venerawrites]

Can I request an Imagine where a fem character is captured by the enemy and she’s under a genjutsu where she’s being tortured by Shikamaru (who she loves) but is pulled out of it just in time by Shika who actually gets there in time with a team? Comfort fluff, reassuring, and he admits he loves her?

author's note: I have been writing this literally for ages, but now that all my assignments are officially done, I finally had a chance to catch up! Thank you so much for your patience and this beautiful idea! I absolutely loved writing this one! I hope you like it! <3

warnings: mentions of torture; swearing

There is something comforting in darkness. Once it welcomes you in its embrace, all your fears, worries, and thoughts just... disappear. Your body and your mind relax and for once, it is all quiet.

And silence is beautiful.

Two strong hands wrapped around your neck, pulling you harshly out of the water and bringing all your senses back to reality. The sudden rush of air filling your lungs made you choke and you struggled to take another breath. The comforting silence, in which you were blissfully floating just a second ago, was interrupted by the rapid beating of your heart and the muffled sound of someone's voice next to you.

"-absolutely pathetic", your brain registered only the last words of what the person said. You coughed once again and another hefty amount of dirty water made its way out of your body, letting you breathe more freely. Your chest felt heavy and all your muscles screamed in pain, making this moment of awareness feel more like a punishment than a relief.

With a few slow blinks, the darkness started to lift and your surroundings started to become clearer. At first, all you could see was the sky - so grey and sad, a sure sign it was about to rain soon. Then your focus shifted to the trees and the strange way their leaves stood still, despite the wind around you. Finally, your eyes shifted to the silhouette sitting next to you. Blinking a few more times, their face started to become more focused and you let out a breath of relief, once you realised it was your best friend who saved you from what seemed like sure death.

"Shika...", you said weakly, not having the energy to even pronounce his full name. Instinctively reaching your hand toward him, you tried to get a hold of his hand, his warmth being the only thing your body craved right now. The said man let out a scoff, moving out of the way just when you were about to reach him. When you hand hit nothing but air, you slowly opened your eyes, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Shika?", you repeated, lifting your head just a bit, so you could see the man better. Sitting on a small stone next to you, he stared at you with a bored expression, a half-burn cigarette hanging from his lips. There was something in weird in his eyes, something which you have seen only a handful of times in all the years you have known him.

Was it anger? Annoyance? Hate?

You couldn't exactly tell, your brain still struggling to make sense of where you are and how did you got there. The last thing you remember was fighting a group of rogue ninjas near Amegakure, before something was wrapped around both your arms and legs, forcing you to the ground. You must have passed out because now you were on the river bank near Konoha, a place where you and Shikamaru played from dawn to dusk when you were children.

"He probably brought me here to clean my wounds", was the first thought that came to your your head, while you tried to lift yourself on your elbows.

"Shika, what-"

The words got stuck in your throat, once your friend's hands found their way around it once again. His nails dug into the skin and you winced in pain, your own fingers wrapping around his wrists in an attempt to pull him away. His power, however, was no match for you and all you could do was stare at him with wide eyes, a silent plead for him to let go.

"Just shut the hell up, troublesome woman! You always ramble on and on, and on...", the fingers on your neck tightened their grip and you opened your mouth, desperately trying to inhale some air and combat the dizziness that started to consume you due to the lack of oxygen. However, Shikamaru did not seem impressed by your struggle or the way you kept tapping his arm. Instead of freeing you, he leaned forward, pressing his full body weight on you.

"I've never hated any sound more than my name coming out of your lips! I fucking hate it! I fucking hate YOU!"

Hissing the last words through gritted teeth, he finally let go of your throat, only to smack his palm against your cheek. Your head whipped to the side, a few droplets of blood flying from your mouth. The burning feeling on your cheek, however, felt almost insignificant compared to the overwhelming feelings of shock and confusion that paralyzed your body. The echo of his words kept sounding in your mind, each repetition making your heart beat faster and faster in panic.

"What...", you chocked out, eyes searching his, "What's going on?"

A dry, almost sinister chuckle left his lips and the sound sent shivers down your spine. He lowered his head right above yours before grabbing your cheeks in one hand, squishing your face. A small whine sounded from you and the man narrowed his eyes, observing you with a mixture of annoyance and amusement.

"Look at yourself... calling yourself a ninja, yet you can't handle even a single mission by yourself!", he muttered with disdain, his gaze not leaving yours. You tried to pull your head away, but his grip was so tight, you were unable to move even a muscle.

Tears of frustration started to form in your eyes, a few sliding down your cheeks. Normally, in moments like these, Shikamaru would be the one holding you, muttering sweet words of comfort in your ears. His hands would stroke your hair, while he rocks your body back and forth till you calm down and fall asleep on top of him.

Now he offered nothing but a look of disgust.

"Wh-What are you doing?", your voice betrayed you, sounding smaller than you intended to, "Shikamaru, why are you holding me like this?"

The first rule of the shinobi was to never give up. It was a life full of pain and sacrifice, but the end goal was the protection of the people - and for that, you had to fight, even if you had no energy left in you.

But as you laid beneath Shikamaru, staring at his dark eyes, full of contempt, you couldn't do anything but let the tears fall freely from your eyes. A good ninja would probably seize the moment and use it as a distraction to draw their weapon and stab their attacker, but how could you do that, when the person on top of you was the person you loved and cherished the most in this world? The person that has been your best friend for more than 10 years? The person who was your rock during the hardest periods of your life? The love of your life?

Before you could realise what was happening, his hands lifted you by the neck, pushing your head below the water again. This time, however, there was no comfort in it - it was cold and unwelcoming, sending waves of shock through your entire body. It stung your eyes and it filled your nose and mouth, making you panic. Your mind screamed at you to fight back, to somehow wrench yourself out of his grasp. Throwing both your arms and legs around, you tried to throw him off you, but his fingers only dug deeper into your skin, his knees landing on top of your thighs to keep you still.

Just as your vision started to fade, he brought you back to the surface and you gasped for air, choking in the water still stuck in your lungs.

"I fucking hate you... Do you understand that? I hate the way you whine all the fucking time, clinging to me like a leech! You always cry, never taking any responsibility for anything!", his tone was low, but filled with hatred, "I hate you so fucking much, I've been fantasizing about how to shut your mouth once and for all for so long!"

Barely giving you a chance to even register his words, he pressed your head down once again. Unlike last time, you were under only for a few seconds, before he pulled you out.

"You are nothing but a burden! To me, to your family, to everyone in that damned village!"

"NO! STOP!"

Each word felt like a dagger piercing through your chest, crushing whatever hope remained that all this was just a bad dream and that you would wake up any moment in Shikamaru's bed, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

What the hell happened during your mission? When did he even appear? Did he save you? Why was he so angry with you?

Your head was filled with questions and soon there was nothing but a messy tangle of thoughts. A small voice at the back of your mind kept repeating his words.

"Nothing but a burden..."

The words hit deeper than you liked to admit. Back when you were younger you were the weakest kid in class, much to the dismay of your parents, both of which were great and strong shinobi. The other children rarely wanted to play with you - most of the time they viewed you as someone who couldn't keep up with their speed and energy. Naruto and Shikamaru were the only ones who reached out to you back then, the only ones who stood by you when no one else would.

While the blonde was a dear friend to you, nothing could compare to the bond you shared with the young Nara. He has always been a constant in your life, a safe haven to which you could run once the reality was too much to bear. Countless nights he held you in his embrace when you couldn't sleep because your family was fighting once again. He always left his window slightly open, an unspoken invitation for you to come anytime you wanted. Thinking back, sneaking into your best friend's bed at night was maybe not the wisest decision, as it was during one of these times you realised you were utterly and madly in love with him.

You remembered that night clearly. The two of you were laying side by side on his bed, the only light coming from the bright moon up in the sky. It was the night after Asuma's funeral and despite his initial warning for you not to come, you still made your way to his house at 2:00 o'clock at night. He didn't utter even a word when he saw you entering through his window, instead, he only lifted his blanket, making a space for you to join him. You laid down and he immediately pulled you under him, burying his head in the space between your neck and shoulder, his hot tears falling on your bare skin.

As he clung to you, your fingers gently rubbed his scalp, offering your silent support. What wouldn't you give to take his pain away, to bring back his beloved sensei, and to make him forget the horrors he witnessed that day.

"I don't know what I would do without you...", he whispered against your hair, his breath tickling your scalp.

"You don't have to think about that", you whispered back, your fingers still combing through his black locks, "I am here. I always will be."

Shikamaru didn't answer. Instead, he lifted his head and looked at you with his bloodshot eyes, before pressing his lips against yours. It was a quick and gentle peck, a promise of a friend, rather than a lover's confession. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, muttering a quiet 'I am sorry.', before rolling on his side and falling asleep.

Neither of you said anything about it afterward. The next morning you woke up and continued your usual routine, as if nothing had happened. There were moments when you wondered if it was all a dream - maybe you were so in love with him that your brain started to play tricks with you. Yet, there was a weird comfort in not knowing if it was all just an illusion. Sometimes you liked to think that it was, indeed, real.

Slowly losing consciousness due to the lack of air, everything started to fade, except the memory of that night. It kept replaying over and over in your mind, feeling so real, you could almost feel his chapped lips against yours.

How ironic and unfair was that? Your last moments are spent thinking about the man who is currently the source of your suffering.

Suddenly the grip on your neck disappeared and you felt something sliding under your head and knees, lifting you back to the surface. Too tired to fight or even open your eyes, you let yourself be carried out of the river. A frantic voice was shouting something right in your face, but you could not recognize it, nor could understand what it was saying. Your limbs, chest, and eyelids felt so heavy, all you wanted was just to relax and let your body rest.

The second you were laid down on a flat surface, someone's mouth was pressed against yours, blowing air into your lungs. The sudden rush of oxygen made your body jolt and you would've probably hurt yourself, if the person who was bringing you back to life did not have their hands on your chest, rhythmically pumping.

Finally, you took your first breath on your own and you coughed violently, turning your body to the side so you could spit the excess water from your mouth. The hands that saved you made their way to your back, gently patting it to help you stop choking.

"Shit, are you okay?", the sound of the familiar voice made your body freeze.

"No! It cannot end like this!", you thought to yourself, the feeling of panic already bubbling inside of you. What game was Shikamaru playing? He almost ended your life, just to bring you back... What type of cruel torture was that?

"Hey... can you hear me? Please, answer me. Please, I can't-"

Before he could finish, you turned toward him and punched him as hard as you could. The man stumbled back from his kneeling position, cupping his nose in an attempt to stop the flowing blood. You used the opportunity to drag your weak body away from him, ignoring the sharp pain that pulsated through each one of your muscles.

"Stay away!", you yelled, glancing back at him, "Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to kill me?"

The young Nara looked at you with a confused expression, taking a step toward you, but immediately stopping once he saw the fear on your face.

"Kill you? What are you-", the sudden realisation of what was going on downed on him and he lifted both his hands from his face in a defensive motion, "Wait! No! It's not what you think!"

Ignoring his words, you continued to drag yourself away, gritting your teeth at the feeling of your skin scraping against the ground. Looking in his direction again, you found he was already on his feet but he had not moved from his original position.

"Please... I'm not going to hurt you!", he begged, his voice filled with desperation, "Just stop for a second! Listen to me!"

Letting out a sigh, you dropped to the ground, too exhausted to continue your escape attempt. Deep down you knew there was no point - you were surrounded by nothing but a field and while you managed to create a significant distance between you, he was on his feet, while you were crawling on your elbows. It was clear that no matter what you did, you won't be able to run away from him. The only option you had was to just wait and hope he was going to finish this quickly.

"Why?", the question came out as a broken whisper and you were not even sure he heard it, "Why are you doing this?"

Shikamaru's gaze softened and he made a small step toward you, testing your reaction. When he saw you made no movement, he made another step before stopping again. Only the gods knew he wanted nothing more than to run toward you and hold you in his arms, making sure you were okay. The spark of fear in your eyes, however, made him control his urges and he used all his willpower to remain calm and rational.

Seeing you like this... it was like his world was falling apart. He was not a violent person, far from it, but somewhere back in his mind, he kept imagining bringing the rogue ninja that put you through this back to life, just so he could kill him again. And then again. And then again. As many times as it took for him to feel like he did you justice.

The image of your face twisted in a silent scream, your whole body covered in blood, was one that he was never going to forget. And oh, how he wished he could! Ino and Choji have never seen their teammate lose control like this, not even when their sensei died. The piercing shriek that left his lips the moment he saw you, the way he ran toward your body, the bloodthirst in his gaze, while he slashed the enemy's throat open... it was almost like something dark and demonic had possessed him.

"You were under a genjutsu... everything that you felt and saw... it was not real. It was NOT me", with each word he closed the distance more and more, till he found himself right in front of you. Crouching next to your form, he extended his hand to touch yours, brows furrowing when he saw you flinch back.

"Please! Whatever you saw, whatever that bastard made you believe... it was NOT ME!", his voice remained low, yet it was getting more distressed, "I would never, ever hurt you! Never!"

He reached out again, this time slower so he could give you a chance to comprehend his words and move back if you wanted to. Shifting your look between his eyes and his hand, you took a deep breath, before letting him touch you. The warmth of his fingers brightly contrasted with your cold skin, sending shivers down your spine.

"It's me...", his hand slowly moved up toward your face, cradling your cheek in his palm and gently stroking it with his thumb. Your muscles remained frozen, still unsure if this was a trick or not, "I'm here. I'm here..."

He kept repeating the same words over and over, while cautiously moving his body closer, so he could wrap his arms around you. Your eyes danced around your surroundings, finally appreciating that you were in fact NOT next to the river in Konoha. Instead, you were at the exact same spot where you lost consciousness during your fight. The pieces of the mystery of what happened finally started to come together in your mind and the reality hit you like a wave, washing over the lingering doubts in your mind.

You opened your mouth to say something, but all that came out was a loud sob. And then another... Soon, the tears started freely flowing down your cheeks while your body shook with the intensity of the shock of what actually happened. Shikamaru kept you pressed tightly against his chest, his own tears falling on top of your hair, while he rocked both of you back and forth.

"I am so sorry!", he muttered, pressing his nose into your head, "I am so, so sorry! It's all my fault!"

"Shika-"

"If I didn't waste so much time planning and strategizing, I would've been here on time! I would've been able to save you, I would've been able to kill that bastard before he had the chance to hurt you!", he rambled on, more to himself than to you.

"Shikamaru!"

The sound of his name, together with the feeling of your fingers on his face finally caught his attention and he gazed down at you, his dark eyes still glossy and red.

"You saved me...", you said tracing his jaw, "You actually came for me."

He let out a quiet scoff, squeezing you tighter. His lips found their way to your forehead, placing a small kiss on it and lingering for a few seconds after that.

"Of course, I came for you, you troublesome woman", he sighed, closing his eyes. Holding the person you were in love with for years and who you thought you'd lost forever had to be the most surreal feeling.

At least for him.

There were a few seconds of silence between you, during which you just held each other. No words were spoken, but none were needed - the way you clung to one another, ignoring everyone and everything else, spoke of all of the feelings and affections you kept hidden in your hearts. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear Ino's voice talking, but your mind could not focus on anything but Shikamaru's heartbeat next to your ear.

"I've thought I lost you...", the sudden admission was quiet, almost as if he didn't really want you to hear it. He gulped, moving his head back so he can look into your eyes.

"That night when I said I don't know what I would do without you... I meant it. I still do! I would choose death any day if it means I wouldn't have to face the risk of losing you."

His words made your eyes widen and you stared back at him, trying to read his emotions. The Nara was not a man who liked to talk about his feelings, so any insight into his mind and heart was always surprising. A slight blush covered his cheeks, a sign that despite his moment of courage, he was still feeling nervous about your response.

"I love you."

"I love you."

Both of you blurted it out at the same time, your expressions slowly changing from scared to shocked. You blinked a few times, your brain taking some extra seconds to process his words. Finally, a small smile broke on your lips. Shikamaru, on the other hand, tried to remain serious, but the corners of his mouth kept tugging upwards.

"I want to kiss you."

"Is that your way of asking me for permission or you are just telling me?", you raised a brow and he let out a small laugh at your words.

"I am telling you."

With that one of his palms found your chin, gently cupping it and lifting your head toward him. You could feel his minty breath mixing with your own as he leaned in, not moving his eyes from yours.

The kiss was light, at first you barely felt his mouth against yours. It was delicate and somewhat unsure, just like the kiss you shared that fateful night. The more your lips moved together, the more confident you both became and he grabbed the back of your neck, holding you into place while his tongue met yours. It was all so new, yet it felt so familiar - almost like you've done that a thousand times before.

Finally pulling back, he rested his forehead against yours, trying to catch his breath.

"You have no idea how many years I have been dreaming" about this", he landed one more peck, before scooping you in his arms and lifting you, "Let's go home."

cc artwork: Xiaodi Jin

[eden-djarin]

The Rain Song - Chapter 1 "Spring"

Summary: You met Joel Miller by chance. Getting on his good side isn't easy, but maybe with the help of Ellie, you can get closer to him.

Word Count: 1.2K

Pairing: Pre-Jackson!Joel Miller x Female Reader , Jackson!Joel Miller x Female Reader

Chapter Warnings: no physical description of reader, mild angst, sadness, reader is bad at expressing emotions, unspecified age gap, Joel has a hard time being nice

A/N : This is my first time trying to write a longer chapter/multi-chapter fic, so I hope y'all like it. Also, very minor proofreading lol :) - Eden

It is the springtime of my loving The second season I am to know You are the sunlight in my growing

You had met Joel Miller in the springtime. Everywhere you looked, blazing stars and milkweed were blooming due to the newfound warmth in the air. Budding leaves on new branches filled the trees around you.  The pastures were green, and the meadows had a gold spilling through them.  Too busy finding some peace in the day, you hadn’t noticed that two unexpected strangers were coming up on your back.

Your soon-to-be friends hadn’t been paying attention to their surroundings, that is until the man heard you humming to yourself. He quickly grabbed the girl, shoved her behind his back, and put his finger up to his mouth, silencing her before she could say anything out loud.  The man reached for his gun, silently cocking back the weapon.

“Hands up,” the man yelled loud enough for you to hear through your humming

Quickly turning around, immediately lifting your hands into the air, you yelled back, “I’m unarmed! I only have a small tactical knife in my back pocket!”

As your hands remained in the air, Joel immediately started walking towards you, grabbing your hands and placing them behind your back, searching you for any weapons. He found the knife that you had put in your back pocket and chucked it to the ground, well out of your reach.

After he was convinced, you weren’t any harm to him or the girl, he let you go and asked, “What would a young girl like you be doin’ in the woods all alone? Hmm?”

You had escaped the Chicago QZ about a month ago. It was a last option for you, finally having enough of the constant abuse you had endured. You were not sure where you were planning to go.

“I left the Chicago QZ. I thought it would be better to be by myself than with people who didn’t care for me or my well-being.” You stated.

Finally being able to turn around and look at the people who had bum-rushed you, you could see that it was a man in his mid-50s, tall, and stocky. There was also a smaller girl, who barely looked more than 14.

Allowing yourself to have some courage, you asked the new people what their names were and where they were going.

“I’m Ellie! This is Joel. We’re going to- “Ellie was silenced by the older man immediately, him not wanting you to find out where they were going.

“Where we’re goin has no concern to this young lady, Ellie. Now, if we could be on our way. “Joel tossed you a quick side glance, not wanting you to bother them any more than you already had.

Silence was something you were good at. Staring back at them, you could tell that Ellie didn’t mind you tagging along, but Joel didn’t want you to be a burden on their team. Ellie started talking to Joel in a hushed tone, not allowing you to hear the full conversation. Joel kept glancing back and forth at you and Ellie, not wanting to back down from his previous statement.

Looking fully at you, Joel stated, “You can come along. You better not cause any problems, or we’re gonna have issues.”

Running towards them and silently thanking Ellie for putting up a fight for you to join them on their journey, you started along the path to wherever they were going together. As you start to walk away with them, you mumble under your breath, telling them your name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Learning to be around others for longer than a few days is deemed to be more difficult than you had initially thought. Joel was hard to read. He didn’t trust you, and you could tell. He was always around when you were with Ellie, to the point where you were a little scared to be the real you. You never intended to harm anyone. Battling with your past, you thought it best to be quiet, and not try to set Joel off.

Ellie was great at breaking the mood. Always telling her jokes, was a way for you to take your mind off Joel and his brooding stature. Joel would joke along with Ellie, but he would never give you the time of day.

Being alone at night was the hardest part for you. You weren’t truly alone, but you felt far away from any resemblance of friendship, or trust with the man that laid ten feet away from you. Turning to face the opposite way of Joel and Ellie, allowed you to finally let yourself feel your flood of emotions that had been bottling up all day.

As you silently sniffled to yourself, trying to get comfortable in your sleeping bag, Joel turned over to look at you. He hadn’t noticed before how you would turn yourself away to not look in his and Ellie’s direction. He knew he was being harsh to you. He was not easy to trust others, and you unexpectedly coming into their lives was certainly not what he wanted. Secretly, for the past few months, you were growing on him. He loved that it was easy for you to get along with Ellie, and it seemed like Ellie liked you too.

Quietly, Joel whispered, “Everything alright?”

Freezing in your spot on the ground, you whispered back, “Yeah, everything is fine. Just a little cold I guess.”

Joel didn’t take that as an answer. Getting out of his sleeping bag, he walked in front of you and saw your red eyes and runny nose. Going to sit on the ground, he lowered his knees to the ground, making a slight popping noise. “I know you’re upset. I know I'm cold to ya. ‘S not my intention. I’m just tryin’ my best to protect Ellie. Ya get it, right?”

“I suppose.” You said while looking up at him blankly.

“If you want, I can sit with you for a while if you want. I know it can be a little scary being in the woods for a while with nobody else around.” Said Joel, while looking into your eyes.

“If you want. I don’t want to be a bother. I promise.” Starting to close your eyes again.

Joel moves to lie down next to you on the ground. Willing his heart to slow down a bit, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. You fell asleep surprisingly fast with Joel there, and Joel fell asleep within mere moments.

Ellie woke first in the morning, looking to see if both of you were still there. When she fully looked at you and Joel, you had moved to where your head rested upon Joel’s chest, and his arm was wrapped around your waist. Ellie chuckled to herself, laughing about how this whole time, Joel seemed like he could care less about you, but Ellie knew. Ellie could sense how he was starting to change his thoughts about you, even though Joel was not aware himself.

So little warmth I've felt before It isn't hard to feel me glowing I watched the fire that grew so low, oh

[blingblong55]

To live without- 141+Alejandro

Based on a request:

Hii can I make a request for some angst?? Maybe the reader having an argument with the TF 141 + Alejandro, inside the car or anywhere resulting to a break up?? Cause I'm a sucker for angst, thankss 🫶

F!Reader, angst, established!relationship, break-ups, cheating (not all)

A/N: This will be in 5 parts

Part 1 (John Price), Part 3 (Gaz), Part 4 (Alejandro), Part 5 (Ghost)

It has been a stressful few months for him, between his job, you, his own safety and yours, let alone the current argument over her. It's why you and he are now in the car, having this argument.

Soap:

Soap is a natural flirt, there is no doubt about that. He is and always will be a flirt, single or not. But how many more girlfriends will it take for him to understand it's not right to flirt with others, especially not when you're right there. You two were watching a match at some pub with his mates when a woman approached, you were too busy to even notice her or him. You were cheering on for the team you two loved when they scored and the second you turned to meet him, she was sitting on his lap.

His hand was on her thigh and the other rested on her lower back. A smirk on him and she leans in to whisper something. You walk away without making a deal out of this. And for nearly 30 minutes you walk home by foot. Rain poured down on you, your clothes all damped, tears mixed with the rain. You were for sure getting sick by the morning.

He didn't notice your absence, not when that woman was all over him. But once he did, he left the pub, driving through all the streets in town. The pouring rain made his vision worse but then he spotted you, under a small roof by some old store. "R/n, get in the car!" he called out. Once you refused he parks at the nearest parking area, walking back to you, anger seeping through. "Get in the fuckin' car!" he demanded and once again, you refused to do so. He held onto your wrist, dragging you to his car and you tried to fight him off.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" he turned to you, stopping you both. "When you got some other girl on your lap," you answered. The look he gave you is now one of your least favourites. "This is because of one little thing?" he chuckles, what a pathetic thing you were in that moment for him. "Yes, you have a girlfriend and you let some other girl sit on your lap and touch you like that?!"

"I'm a man, I have needs and they have to be met."

"You also have a fucking girlfriend! You have me!" more tears mixed with the rain.

"Ya' think one fucking piece of meat will change me?" he laughed.

"You had a girlfriend, you had me." you corrected yourself. He looks at you in disbelief, no way you ended things over this.

"Yeah, no chance I'll let ya leave." He held onto your wrist tighter than before.

"If you don't let go of me I'll-"

"what fuckin' hit me?! Do it, yer're nothing but a weak bitch-"

You slapped him across the face and forced him to let you go, once you were out of reach, he got in his car, punched his seat and drove off. You walked home, cried the whole way back and made sure to let your friends know what had happened. A guy friend of yours was already parked outside, ready to keep you safe in case Soap drove by.

Now, all he can do is think of the one thing that wasn't ruined by war but rather ruined by his selfish needs and wants. Think of the life he will never have with you and of the memories that will never happen, all because his stupid self couldn't be loyal.

[writingwisterias]

Hello! Can you write Jill Valentine with a coworker! Reader who was kidnapped and turned into a Nemesis-like B.O.W because they were experimented on by Wesker?

When Jill first saw B.O.W! Reader, her first thought is to get her gun. But surprisingly, the creature didn't seem to immediately attack her at all. Jill lowered her gun and got good at its face. She immediately recognized the face of a coworker she once knew that she saw on a missing poster.

Got a request to do with with Leon as well so I've combined them into two drabbles! Let me know if you want anyone else because I love the angst with this idea! ~ Mads <3

Masterlist

Warnings: Angst, Regular Resident Evil Shenanigans, Hurt No Comfort

Jill Valentine (RE3)

Jill looked at the wall in her apartment, the red lines attached to various pins which she hoped were many clues that led to the solution of your suspicious disappearance. Your innocent face was in the middle of the web of red, your smile a constant reminder of how much she's missed seeing it in the morning as you arrived into work with an extra coffee for the team. She understood why you saved her and Chris as you all faced the betrayal of your boss but falling out of a window as Wesker dragged you along with him was something she could never have expected to happen. The situation became even weirder when they returned and never found a body. She spent the following days after the incident with Chris and the rest of the team cleaning up the leftover nightmares that roamed the mansion, whilst looking for clues to try and figure out what happened to you.

It had been months since she had any sense of a direction with this case, every time she thought she figured it out another dead end greeted her. The rain hammered against her windows as she woke up, the storm mimicking the anger she felt at letting anything happen to you. Jill sighed as she stared at the board for the hundredth time, before getting up and walking over to bathroom. She wondered over to the bathroom to splash her face to wake herself up. Her phone rang and she rushed to answer it, Brad was begging her to run and get out of the apartment but the warning came too late when the wall came crushing into her. Jill didn't hesitate to drop the phone and run, not even wasting time to look behind and figure out what was attacking her.

Jill coughed on the impact as she was flung against the wall in a harsh smack. She sunk to the floor clutching her side as she watched the flames reveal the thing that had be chasing her. A large deformed B.O.W crept closer to her, its build was strong and easily towered over her, its flesh mangled and stretched thin as she assumed it went through countless transformations. Yet it's face remained fairly untouched, it wasn't until it was almost upon her that she recognized it. It was you. She shouted your name, begging for you to stop your stalking, hoping there was a chance you were still there. you hesitated for a second, only to be called at by another person greeting you with a rocket launcher. You fell at the impact, delaying you pursuit on Jill. You watched her be dragged away by the man, her screams of your name didn't fall on deaf ears, but the commands were still pulsing throughout your head no matter how many times you begged for him to stop. You begged to stop hunting and killing your friends. You only hoped Jill had the strength and mercy to stop you, and finally put an end to your pain.

Jill sat in the subway train, staring at the blood caked on her boots. Her brain wishing for Chris to be here and help her figure out what to do, to see if there was anyway they could save you or if it was easier to just finally let you go. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that.

Leon Kennedy (RE4R)

Leon groaned as he lifted Ashley onto the chair with your help, the both of you trying to fight off the infection that was now rapidly growing. He felt you slump against the back of his chair as he quickly tried to stop the infection from growing inside Ashley. The both of you held her hand tightly as she went through the procedure, eagerly waiting to see if it succeeded or failed. Your heart ached watched the poor girl scream in pain as the machine did it's job, your only thought was coming up with compelling arguments to get Leon on the chair next. Coming up with excuse after excuse on why he should go and not you. It seemed like the universe worked in your favor though as you felt him slide off the chair and onto the floor, collapsing in a heap of limbs. You whimpered as you attempted to pry his arms into your grip to help lift him, you could slowly feel the infection finalizing its spread throughout your body, signaling you didn't have much time left and you assumed it was only the same for Leon. He was just the one that the exhaustion caught up with first.

You felt his weight slowly get lifted with as Ashley, who was now awake, helped you haul him onto the chair. She then rushed to help you in the chair as she saw your form swaying. "Get the restraints, I'll do the computer" you spoke softly, exhaustion was creeping in fast. Ashley listened to your final commands without hesitation, naively hoping the machine would fast enough to help you as well. Once the machine was set up and whirring you stumbled away from the chair, deciding to watch from afar as Leon got cured. You slumped against the wall, your legs finally giving out as you slowly felt Sadler turn your brain into mush, his echoing commands in the foreground of Ashley's cheers of success as Leon was cured. You felt your heart break as she turned to you her eyes widening as she witnessed the black almost take over your eyes. "Make sure he kicks Sadler's ass for me please." You joked, giving the girl a smile. She nodded, tears falling down her dirtied face as she turned to look at Leon again, praying he would wake up fast enough to help you onto the chair.

Leon woke up to Ashley's tear stained face as she slowly released him from the restraints. He groaned as he sat up scanning the room for you. His heart dropped when he spotted your hunched figure in the corner of the room. He called your name weakly before getting up to approach. He approached slowly, limping his way over to you. Leon called your name again, raising his hand towards Ashley as a silent command to stay there. He saw all the black seeping throughout your body, there was barely any unaffected skin left. His hands shook as he touched the handle of his knife. His breath catching in his throat as he watched you lift up your head as look at him, but your eyes were black, emotionless. He whispered your name for a final time, a final attempt to see if you were there but he knew. He knew it was a mercy killing but still struggled to hold back the tears as he did it.

Ashley watched his shoulders shake as he mourned over the loss of you, his partner. He clutched you body close to him, your blood seeping into his trousers and onto his hands. "She wants you kick his ass" Ashley whispered her hand falling on his shoulder comfortingly. He nodded, gently laying to peace as best he could. You were now another person he couldn't save on this mission but he sure as hell was going to avenge you the best he could.

[deuce-t-agere]

I’ve a had a few requests for cg Scott and regressor Logan head canons, but while I work on those you guys get some cg Ororo and regressor Logan bc they’re one of my favorite Marvel pairings (platonic or romantic) and also this panel exists

Logan has a hard time comprehending that part of the reason Ororo can carry him sometimes is thanks to her weather abilities and gets really upset that she can’t just pick him up all the time

Logan will sometimes show up in her room in the middle of the night because he had an accident or a nightmare and wants her help, but he will never talk about that while he’s big

Ororo has to hold Logan’s hand when they go anywhere because he will sniff out treats and wander off then get scared when he doesn’t know where she is

Logan is a snuggly little puppy, he’ll just curl up on and around Ororo any chance he gets, especially if he’s sleepy, sometimes when he’s grumpy he’ll sit cuddled up to her but refuse to look at her or talk to her

Logan thinks his mama is the prettiest person to ever live and he will tell everyone who will listen, sometimes very incoherently because he isn’t verbal at the moment

(Mostly based on the fact that I would sit in the rain every time I was overstimulated if I could) Logan likes to sit in the rain and splash his hands in the puddles or kick his feet a little, when he’s overstimulated Ororo will make a little rainstorm for him

Although she is usually able to convince him to get into a bath, Logan will still whine and fights the whole time but he’s at least in there, she has had to resort to using her powers to get him clean on a few occasions

Unlike some of the rest of the team, Ororo has no issues telling Logan no, even if it means dealing with a tantrum, she would rather deal with that than let him think he can get away with anything he wants and end up getting himself into trouble

[viandclintbarton-supremacy]

Lost Boy (EngWnt x Male Reader)

This was inspired by Lost Boy

8,869 words

Warning: Swears, Angst and fluff moments

Why am I here? This is isn't home. Well you didn't know what a home is.

You say as you wait outside the famous St George Park. You feel the rain hit the top of your head and shoulders as you hear the car that dropped you off drive away. You sighed as nerves and anxiety crept in. You wanted to be here but also wanted to be home back in Japan.

You missed the feeling, you missed your apartment, you missed your training grounds, your teammates and the Kawasaki Frontale faithful.

You were scared to be in a land that you only been to with your team once before. Truth is you were an orphan, you were left at an orphanage in Japan in Kanagawa from there you grew up and at the age of 13 you joined the Kanagawa youth squad and once you hit 16 you became part of the first team 3 years later, 42 assists and 77 goals for the club. You wanted to play for the japan national team but you kept getting the cold shoulder. You started to deflate, lose motivation and felt the same feeling you felt since you could remember. The pain your so called parents gave you.

Worthless

Dissapointment

Lost

"Lost Boy, Lost Boy, Lost Boy" A smile came to your face and you recollected that chant Kanagawa fans would chant for you. The story of you being a orphan made the fans sympathise with you and your constant big player status on the field made you a fan favourite and was gifted the name Lost Boy.

That chant was something special it made you feel like you belonged, like a son to the crowd. The first time you heard it you had to fight back tears but bowed to the crowd.

It was your Neverland

You looked down before composing yourself, you started to walk into the reception of St George Park and you spot Serena Wiegman and Gareth Southgate waiting for you.

You think about how you ended up in the situation. Playing for England?!?!

You remember playing a man of the match worthy game in the AFC Champions League against 2 time champs from Ulsan Hyundai. Scoring 4 goals and assist. As you walked off the pitch to the famous Lost Boy chants, you didn't notice Serena Wiegman who was enjoying a vacation watching you from the crowd.

She approached you outside the locker room with your manager. Seeing your talent, the fans love for you and potential. She researched your background and found out that you have English relations due to your mother. And Serena wanted to give you a chance as she believed you not playing international football a crime. You was overwhelmed. Leaving Japan, going to England, no friends, no faces you know except for Serena.

But you knew deep down that this could change your life for the better.

"F/N, I'm so glad you are here" Serena said as she approached you with a warm smile. You go for a hand shake but Serena gave you a hug. She made you feel welcome and made you feel protected. You gave her a slight hug back and she turned to Southgate making sure to keep a hand on your back to let you feel comfortable. "F/N this is Gareth Southgate, the manager of the England Senior team." You extended your hand to the man who shook your hand. "Pleasure sir" you said respectfully in English "Nice to meet you L/N, Wiegman told me all about you. I have seen some of your stuff, I hope you step up" He said in a cold tone, you wanted to frown but hid it. It felt like he wasn't happy you were here "Mr Southgate, I said it before and ill say it again. This young man is an extraordinary talent and no offence to the team but his passion for the game shines brighter then your passion when you played for England"

God damn, you eyes slightly widen as you look back and forth between the duo. The tone of her voice sounded like a mother defending her child Talk about putting pressure on you. Southgate clearly wasn't happy with the comment but didn't say anything back. "Anyway, let me show you around. Serena" He said leading the way for you before saying goodbye to Serena "Actually i will come along" The Dutch women said "But what about the girls?" you looked back at Southgate before turning back to the lady. "They will be fine, the staff are already their for the girls training, i will see them after Y/N is settled in" She as she patted your back.

You smiled at her as the three of you walk into the building. You thought about what Serena was talking about. The girls? Her team is here training. The Lionesses! You remember watching them in the Euro's 2022 and it was inspiring to watch and witness. You had hope to cross paths in some way with one of them just to seek knowledge from the European champions if you crossed paths. But the whole team was here!

As you were taking to each rooms and facilities, you made sure to shake everyone's hand. The staff should be treated like they are part of the team. This made Serena smile when she picked up on the gesture whilst Southgate thought it was you trying to look good in front of him.

"This concludes our journey. I must depart now, as we have some new arrivals later. The rest of the team will arrive later tonight. Make yourself at Home F/N. Serena" Gareth said leaving in a hurry as he left you outside your hotel door. You let a sigh and ran your hands through your hair. "Well he sure is something" You say in a light hearted tone as you felt Serena's hand on your shoulder "He is a stubborn man, he rarely changes his team up and when i suggested you he laughed it off. But because of my belief I even went to the FA" your eyebrows raised as she nodded at tour response "Yes I made a case that you are what the men's team needed and they listened and push him on it." You looked at Serena with admiration. She really did believe in you, all that worry and nervous energy turned into determination.

You were going to make sure you proved Southgate wrong, repay Serena and show the world who F/N L/N is "Thank you Serena, you wont regret this" She smiled like a mother and patted your back "Now go rest, you must be tired' You smiled and shook your head "I managed to get sleep on the journey here. If its no issue since none of my teammates are her, can I watch you train the lionesses for a bit" Her curious look turned into a wide smile "Of course" You smiled and dropped your belongings in your room "May I ask, why do you want to watch." She asked curiously as you followed her "Well, you and the Lionesses are one of the top teams in the world, I'd be stupid to not want to watch h and learn from you and the women" She smiled, she found admirable that you would want to learn from the women when a lot just bash female footballers "Why me I'm just the manager?" she would say curious on what wanted to learn from her

You grinned as you walked alongside Serena. "Why you? Really? Well for starters, you're not just 'just the coach.' You're Serena Wiegman, the brilliant mind behind one of the most successful women's national teams in the world. You've achieved incredible success and I have a lot to learn from you. Plus, watching the Lionesses in action is an opportunity I couldn't pass up. Your team's skill, tactics and teamwork are truly works of art to me." Serena chuckled at your response and your excitement, clearly appreciating your enthusiasm and respect for the women's game. "Well, I'm flattered, F/N. We'd be glad to have you watch our training. I believe that learning from each other, regardless of gender, is how we all grow and improve in this beautiful sport."

You followed Serena out to one of the 3Gs the team was training on, You were feeling better then earlier, With Southgate gone and you can be around a pitch and watching football made you happy and at peace. Though nerves did run through as you were gonna be watching top flight pros playing

As you stepped onto the pitch and the view of the Lionesses practicing their drills came into focus, you couldn't hide the awe on your face. It was a sight to behold, the precision, the skill, and the teamwork of the reigning European champions were truly impressive.

You watched as Lucy Bronze skilfully dribbled the ball, Keira Walsh executed pinpoint passes, and Bethany England alongside Alessia Russio showcased her finishing ability. It was clear why they were considered among the best in the world.

The enthusiasm and energy of the Lionesses were infectious and it felt like a privilege to witness their training session. As you followed Serena, you couldn't help but feel a sense of motivation and inspiration.

As the Lionesses gathered in hushed conversation on the pitch, you found yourself still engaged in discussion with Serena Wiegman. Talking about her thoughts and expectations of the team as they near the Women's World Cup. The moment was a unique one for you as you were not only adapting to a new country and a new team but also facing the uncertainty of how you would be received.

Serena's voice was reassuring and she had the ability to put you at ease. She spoke about her belief in your abilities and her dedication to seeing you succeed in the England Men's team. Her unwavering support was like a lifeline. Keeping your confidence up and alive as you days counted down to your international debut.

"You know, F/N," Serena said, Turning towards you with her arms crossed, her eyes filled with determination, "I have high hopes for you. Your passion for the game and your incredible talent can bring a new energy to our national team and football. I believe that your presence will not only benefit you but also inspire our Lionesses. " She smiled as she glanced at the powerful women training and pushing their limits. "We have an incredible family of football here in England and I want you to feel at home."

You couldn't help but smile. Serena's words resonated with you and they helped the anxiety and homesickness that had lingered since your arrival in England fade away for that moments. It was the reassurance and guidance you needed. "Thank you, Serena," you replied with genuine gratitude as you bowed your head to her. "I appreciate your belief in me and your efforts to bring me here. I'm determined to give my best and contribute to the England Men's team. And if there's ever an opportunity for our teams to come together and train, I'd love to be a part of it."

Serena nodded, her eyes filled with warmth. "I'm glad to hear that, F/N." She stepped towards you placing a firm grip and pat on your arm "We're not just about men's and women's football here; we're one football family. Your presence here is a testament to that, and I'm certain you'll make a positive impact."

As you continued your conversation, little did you know that the Lionesses were observing you from a distance. The collective curiosity and intrigue of the England Women's National Team would soon lead to a new chapter in your journey, one filled with camaraderie, mutual respect and the realization that you had indeed found a football family

On one side of the pitch near the goal, Mary Earps, Ella Toone and Alessia Russo exchanged curious glances and hushed whispers.

Mar, the goalkeeper, leaned in and said, "Have you two seen that guy talking to Serena? Who is he, and what's he doing here?" as she played with the football in her hands

Ella Toone shrugged her shoulders, her eyes still fixed on you. "I have no idea, but he seems to be quite interested in what Serena is saying. Could he be a new coach or something?" She said crossing her arms as curiosity settled in

Alessia Russo chimed in, "I don't know, but he doesn't look like a coach. Maybe he's a new player or something? We can ask Serena later."

"Yeah you can ask for his number HAHA OW" Ella showed shout after receiving a kick from Alessia to the backside

Meanwhile on the other side of the pitch, Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh and Bethany England were engaged in their own discussion. Lucy, with a sharp eye for talent, recognized you from a few clips she had seen online. "I swear seen that guy before," Lucy remarked, nodding in your direction. "He's a player, I'm sure of it. I saw some clips of him and he's got some serious skills if its who I think it is."

Keira Walsh, the midfielder, leaned in with interest. "Really? He looks like he's in deep conversation with Serena. Maybe he's a new addition to the men's team? Don't think I seen him in any of the youth teams in the past" Lucy nodded in thought

Bethany England, who had been eyeing you with curiosity chimed in, "Well, if he's here to play, he must be pretty good. We should introduce ourselves later and make him feel welcome."

As the training session continued, more and more of Lionesses kept a watchful eye on you, curious to learn more about the mysterious player who had captured Serena Wiegman's attention.

Serena would excuse you as she would approach the team to go over things about upcoming matches as you headed to the stands to watch the rest of the session from there. As Serena addressed the team and laid out their plans for the upcoming match, the Lionesses listened attentively. Afterward, Leah Williamson was the first to break the ice, curiosity getting the best of her.

"If I may" Leah began, "who is that boy you were talking to earlier? Is he a new coach or part of the England media team?"

Millie Bright, seated nearby, chimed in with her own question, "Yeah, he looked quite engaged in your conversation. Is he here to help with our training or something?"

Serena smiled and decided to share a bit about you, the new member of the England Men's team. "Actually, that young man you saw is F/N L/N. He's not a coach or part of the media team. F/N is a talented footballer, and he's recently joined the England Men's national team. I believe he has a lot to offer and you might see him around from time to time. As he requested to watch todays training" The mention of your name and the explanation from Serena piqued the interest of the Lionesses. They exchanged intrigued glances, realizing that you were not just a casual observer but a actual player.

"If his apart of the men's team, why is he watching us and not with Southgate?" Lauren Hemp who handed a drink to Jess park as she spoke up. The question was a thought was on most of the girls minds.

"Good question Lauren" Serena began. "F/N is here because he's new to England and he wanted to observe the training and learn more about the style and strategies of English football. He's keen on acclimating himself to the English game as quickly as possible. Whilst he's officially a part of the men's team, he's interested in learning from our team as well."

Serena's explanation seemed to make sense to the Lionesses. With them and Lauren nodded in understanding. It was clear that you were genuinely eager to immerse yourself in English football. The curiosity about your presence now seemed to be mingled with a sense of mutual respect for your dedication to the game. It was indeed a unique situation to have a male player from the men's team showing genuine interest in observing and learning from the Lionesses. It was a testament to your dedication and willingness to go the extra mile to improve your skills and understanding of football.

As the training session continued, you couldn't help but notice the collective gaze of the Lionesses directed your way. You had been absorbed in watching their drills and skills, trying to absorb as much as you could from the reigning European champions, but you couldn't ignore the fact that you had become the center of attention. Which was starting to make you anxious and paranoid

Whilst you were checking your Instagram notifications, you looked up from your spot of the Lionesses, You took a double take and realized they were watching you with expressions ranging from curiosity to amusement. Feeling a bit self-conscious, you flashed a small, sheepish grin and gave a little wave in acknowledgment of their attention as you slowly sinked into the chair and hoodie

"Aww, so cute." Millie Bright couldn't help but tease with a playful smile. Her comment drew light laughter from some of the other players. "Lets adopt" Rachel Daly would say as she gave Bright a should bump as the duo laughed. It seemed that your friendly wave had endeared you to the Lionesses even more.

Leah Williamson leaned over to Lauren Hemp and whispered, "Well, I have to say, he's certainly not what I expected from a guy joining the men's team. Seems like a good guy." Lauren Hemp nodded in agreement. "Definitely. We should introduce ourselves later and make him feel welcome." Knowing that whenever someone joins a new team or place for the first time it can be overwhelming"

As the training session with the Lionesses concluded, Serena Wiegman decided it was a good time to have a private conversation with one of her most experienced players, Lucy Bronze. The two of them found a quiet corner of the field

"Lucy, I need to talk to you about something important," Serena began, her expression grave. Lucy, ever the professional, sensed the gravity of the situation and nodded for her coach to continue. Serena took a deep breath. "You know the new player, F/N L/N, who you all have been eyeing?" Lucy's eyes lit with recognition. "Yeah, I saw him talking to you earlier. He's a really talented player from what I have seen. What about him?" As said as she crossed her arms

Serena leaned in closer and lowered her voice. "Well, the thing is, his arrival hasn't been entirely smooth. Southgate has been... less than welcoming, let's say." She would say in a displeased tone, Lucy raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really? But why? He's a great talent. What's Southgate's problem?"

Serena sighed, her disappointment evident. "I don't know for sure, but it seems that Southgate has a certain way of doing things, and he's resistant to change. He's been dismissive of F/N ever since my recommendation and since F/N arrival, despite his incredible talent and potential."

Lucy's expression hardened as she glanced to where you were sitting before placing her hands on her hips and turning towards Serena. She had a reputation for being outspoken and a supportive teammate. This situation didn't sit well with her. "That's not right. If he's here to help the team, Southgate should at least give him a chance. Is there anything I can do to help?" She would ask with good intent as she suspected Serena was telling her this for a reason

Lucy nodded firmly. "Don't worry Serena, We should have each other's backs that's what makes a team. I'll make sure the team knows about this and that we extend a warm welcome to F/N." Serena smiled, her trust in Lucy reaffirmed. "Thank you, Lucy. I knew I could count on you. Let's make sure that F/N feels like a part of this football family and let's show Southgate how wrong he is. We need to look out for him on and off the pitch. He knows no one in country, he needs some friends. I cant speak for the men's team but I trust you and the girls" Lucy was driven to make sure you are welcomed and had new friends.

After returning to your room and finishing a workout, you realized that your roommate had yet to arrive. It gave you some time to unwind and reflect on the day's events. Your thoughts swirled with excitement about watching the Lionesses' training session and the camaraderie that seemed to be developing between you and the women's team. As you were catching your breath, a sudden knock at the door interrupted your solitude. You quickly made your way to the door, opening it to find Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh, and Bethany England standing there, wearing friendly smiles.

"Hey there, F/N right?" Lucy greeted you with a warm and welcoming tone. "Mind if we come in for a chat?"

Your surprise at their visit quickly turned into a grin as you stepped aside to allow them entry. "Of course, come on in. It's great to see you all again. What brings you here?" You were sweating bricks

Bethany England was the first to speak, her friendly demeaner shining through. "We thought we'd swing by and officially welcome you to England, We thought it may be a bit daunting coming to a place where you know no one"

Keira Walsh nodded in agreement. "Yeah, We also heard about your conversation with Serena. It's not often we get a male player showing interest in our training sessions and we wanted to say hello."

Lucy chimed in "Plus, we wanted to let you know that we're here for you. If you have any questions, need any advice or just want to hang out, we're your go to squad." She said in a cheeky voice in the end

Your heart swelled with gratitude and appreciation as you looked at the three Lionesses who had taken the time to visit you. "Thank you, that means a lot. I'm really excited to be here, and I'm looking forward to learning and growing learning here. I'd love to get to know you all better and train together sometime." This was the first time you were getting attention not for your popularity or status. In Japan your teammates were stick around you for popularity and when the cameras where gone they didn't go near you. so this was refreshing, so you were eager to make actual friends

Bethany England grinned. "That sounds like a plan. We'll make sure to coordinate some joint training sessions in the future. But for now, let's just hang out and get to know each other better. We were about to head to the cafeteria and eat, You wanna tag along?" You smiled and nodded excitedly "Of course"

"Great, Come on Youngblood" Lucy would say as Keira patted your back and guided you out of the room following Beth and Lucy.

As you all settled around a table in the bustling cafeteria, the Lionesses were quick to initiate a conversation about your background. "So, F/N," Lucy Bronze began, "tell us a bit about yourself. How did you end up here in England?" She said as she took a bite out of her meal

You leaned back in your chair, ready to share your story. "Well, I grew up in Japan and football has been a huge part of my life since I was a kid. I played for Kawasaki Frontale for a since I was 13 and always dreamt of representing my country. But that never happened, they kept rejecting me." You said sadly, the trio couldn't help but feel for you. Playing for England was big for them and if that got rejected constantly it would hurt. You then smiled "And it was Serena Wiegman who saw me playing one day, She was in Japan and saw me during a match and gave me the opportunity to join the England Men's team. She went out of her way for me and I couldn't be more grateful to her." You smile before you take a bite out of your meal

Keira Walsh nodded in understanding. "That's impressive. It takes a lot of determination to leave your home country and start fresh. And for Serena to go out of her way for ya says a lot about what she thinks you. We're glad you're here." You smile at Keira who smiles back. Bethany England added, "And you're going to learn a lot from the coaching staff here. Our training is intense, but it's what has made us successful."

You gave a cheeky smirk. "If the training wasn't intense and didn't push me to my limit then I wouldn't be here" Lucy gave a light laugh at your change of demeanour as Beth looked Keira and gave her a look saying 'Lucy is going to love this guy' To which Keira nodded back "That's the attitude Youngblood" You chuckle, You were glad at the trio looking after you and couldn't but like the new nickname Bronze seemed to have give you.

Bethany England leaned forward, her curiosity showing on her face. "F/N, what did your parents think about you leaving Japan and coming all the way to England? It must be hard being away from them"

The question caught you off guard and you felt a pang of anxiety. You hadn't shared your orphan background with them yet and you weren't sure how to respond. You never like to talk about it or people asking you about them in interviews. Your mind raced, trying to come up with a plausible explanation that wouldn't reveal your painful past.

But just as you were about to stammer out a response, a strong hand landed on your shoulder. You turned to see Millie Bright, a tall and confident giant of a defender, offering a warm smile. She leaned in to speak, introducing herself to you.

"Hi, I'm Millie Bright and this is Rachel Daly. We couldn't help but couldn't this welcoming party" she said with a friendly tone, effectively shifting the focus away from the question about your parents.

Rachel Daly, Millie's Best Friend, extended her hand to you with a friendly grin. "Nice to meet you, F/N." You eagerly shook her hand before shaking Daly's hand. However, Lucy Bronze, who had noticed your hesitation earlier, couldn't help but keep an observant eye on the situation. She had sensed there was more to the story, but out of respect, she chose to let the matter drop, at least for now. She decided to get up and walk around the table towards you, She grinned and playfully ruffled your hair a move that caught you off guard. "Well, F/N, it's been a pleasure getting to know you. Enjoy your time with our lovely Millie here. She's the best at making sure our 'Child' is well taken care of."

Millie Bright, "Yeah Yeah, you three better have been on your best behaviour whilst with F/N. We can't have you being a bad influence on our new 'son' here." She gestured to herself and Daly. You were thrown off by the comment but recovered with chuckle understanding the English banter. "Come on son" She would say dramatically as she throw her tattooed arm over your shoulders and guided you away from the group.

As you walked alongside Millie, you couldn't help but notice the warmth and friendliness that radiated from her. Her easygoing demeaner put you at ease and you quickly felt a sense of comfort in her presence. Millie, with a playful twinkle in her eye, began to strike up a conversation. "So, F/N, tell me a bit more about yourself. What are your hobbies or interests outside of football? I want to learn more about ya"

You welcomed the chance to talk more about yourself and opened up to Millie. "Well, besides football, I enjoy golf ,reading and playing games. It's a great way to unwind and take my mind off things. What about you? Any interesting hobbies or hidden talents?" You say interested in her thoughts

"Oh, I can definitely hold my own in a game of darts, Painting and I make a mean lasagne. You'll have to come over sometime, and me and my other half will cook up a feast for you." You smile at her, surprised at her welcomes "You could bring your partner with you too" She nudged you "Oh no I don't have a partner. That too much hassle for me" You say nervously. It was true, trying to manage a football career and relationship seemed a lot of work, Millie would give you a surprised look, she assumed you would have a partner by your looks "But I'd love that. Thanks, Millie. And it's been great getting to know you and the rest of the team. I was a bit nervous at first, but you've all made me feel so welcome."

Millie patted your back reassuringly, You tried to not be sent to the floor by her strength. "We're like a big, sometimes chaotic, but always supportive family. You'll fit right in, F/N. Plus, you've got a great sense of humour. That makes you alright in my books"

"Ah so this is where the 'son' thing came from" Millie looked at you with a proud face "Oh you see, Young one , You're now officially part of the family. And that means you have no choice but to accept me and Rachel as your 'football moms.' You're stuck with us now." You couldn't help but smile at her. You felt a emotion that was foreign to you. To hear someone call you 'son' even if it was a joke made you emotional but you kept strong

"I wouldn't have it any other way mother dearest" You say to Millie who responded with a cackle as she ruffled your hair "Good Lad" When you reached your room and it was time to say goodbye, Millie's demeaner grew more serious. She took your phone and added her WhatsApp number, ensuring that you had a direct line to her. You was bamboozled at her actions as you stood there confused as she done it

She looked you in the eye, her tone sincere. "F/N, even though we've just met, I want you to know that you can reach out to me anytime if you need anything or if something comes up. I've got your back and that goes for both on and off the pitch." Her protectiveness and genuine concern touched you deeply. You nodded "Thank you, Millie. I really appreciate it. I'm looking forward to being a part of this football family" You say with heart as Millie smirked "Good night my child" She would say in a mock voice. "Good night mother dearest" With a warm smile, you say and watched as she headed back down the hall way.

As you entered your room, You saw a figure standing there. It was your roommate and new teammate. "hello there" You say hoping they heard you. The man turned around at you and looked you up and down. " Hey" You smiled faltered, One he didn't reply with 'General Kenobi' and two he clearly had no interest in you. You walked up and stuck out your hand "My name is F/N L/N. I hope we get to know each other more and get game time together" You say in hopes you misread his emotions. "Nice to meet you, My name is Jordan Sancho" but there was a clear disconnect in his demeaner. It was as if he was putting on a façade of politeness "Well Jordan "I'm looking forward to getting to know you and working together on the team," you said, slightly repeating what you said earlier, hoping to break through the icy atmosphere. Jordan simply nodded in response and the room fell into an awkward silence. It was clear that there was something more going on with him and you couldn't help but wonder what might be causing this behaviour. The awkwardness in your shared room with Jordan seemed to stay as small talk was made sporadically but without much enthusiasm. You couldn't help but feel the tension and it was evident that he had reservations about your presence.

The following morning, it was time for a team meeting with the England Men's team. As you entered the meeting room, many of your new teammates greeted you warmly, and the captain, Harry Kane, offered a friendly handshake and a welcoming smile. However, it was Phil Foden, Kyle Walker, and Jack Grealish who stood out. They not only greeted you but also invited you to sit with them. Their eagerness to welcome you was palpable and it helped to ease some of the tension that had lingered since your arrival.

Phil Foden leaned over with a grin. "Hey, F/N right? we saved you a spot right here." You smiled thankfully as you sat next to the city trio.

"How you finding it?, settling in alright?" Walker would ask making you feel at ease "Its a lot, I wont lie but I'm happy to be here and play for England" you said with determination, Receiving a pat from Walker. "That's the spirit lad". You notice Jack Grealish offered you a warm handshake. Which you shook with a firm grip "Mate, it's great to have you here. Need anything we are your boys. What you say we go get a bevvie later?"

"A what?" You would say confused "A buvvie?" You say. You may have had great English speaking skills but lacked on slang, Foden noticing your confusion laughed "He meant like a beer or any alcoholic drink" You gave a noticeable "Oooooh" Scratching the back of your head in embarrassment "Sorry I'm not fully caught up on the slang here" You felt a pat from Walker "Don't worry lad, we can teach you all you need to know. But you have great English though" He said with surprise "Well I home schooled with a one of the Guardians at the orphanage who also had a accent which is why I sound like I'm from here." The trio nodded but then Jack spoke up "Orphanage?" You stutter, you slipped up. You started to feel the stares from the trio and those overhearing the conversation.

"Ok, everyone sit down" Thankfully Southgate entered the room to start the talk to the group, Making the trio forget and focus on him. As he began his presentation, he took a moment to introduce you to the squad. However, his introduction was laced with bitterness, making it clear that he believed your presence was primarily due to Serena Wiegman's influence. "Here with us, we have F/N," Southgate began, his tone sharp and a touch resentful. "He's joined the squad for this international break, and it's no secret that he's here largely because of Serena's insistence. As a result, he'll be replacing Marcus Rashford for these matches." Is he fucking serious? You thought as you then notice how silent the room was and you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. The weight of being seen as a replacement for a another player who had been and the implication that you owed your presence to someone else that wasn't even Gareth's choice was palpable.

However, Phil Foden, sitting next to you, reached out and patted your shoulder in a gesture of support. He didn't say anything, but his reassuring touch and understanding gaze conveyed that you were not alone in this moment. You glanced and saw that Kyle and Jack were also looking at everyone who were looking at you. Southgate quickly moved on to discuss the details of the upcoming matches. Netherlands, Northern Ireland and Germany. But the tension in the room remained and you couldn't help but feel the weight of expectations and doubts hanging over you just doubled.

Later in training you made it your mission to prove to them that you weren't just here due to Serena's backing but your skill. You impressed Kane, Foden and sterling with your shooting and dribble skills. Kyle and Saka would be paired up with you for 3 v 3 which let you build a friendship, trustfulness and learn how they play.

You received the ball from Saka and was about to lob the ball over Kane as you saw Walker running behind but then you found yourself landing on you upper back as you felt something shoot through your right foot. You knew someone just two footed you but the thought of it happening in training was disgusting to you. You looked up and stood up to see it was Harry Maguire. You pushed the larger man nearly sending him on his ass. "What the fuck was that Maguire! That was reckless as fuck!" The man regained his posture and glared again "I don't care who you are, L/N. you've got to earn your place here. If you can't handle a challenge like that, you won't make it." He said before walking away. Despite Kyle and Saka checking on you and Harry clearly getting a talking down to from Kane you knew what you was gonna do

"Earn my place you say? alright" you mumble to yourself

After the intense exchange with Harry Maguire, you were determined to prove yourself and demonstrate your resilience. He had clearly underestimated your ability and resolve, and you were not about to let his challenge go unanswered.

The first attempt to get past Maguire was a spectacular nutmeg that left him dumbfounded and you calmly slotted the ball into the net. The laughter and applause from your teammates resonated across the field.

For the second attempt, you displayed your dribbling skills as you deftly maneuvered the ball around Maguire, causing him to lose his balance and fall on his ass like a baby. Once again, you found the back of the net with precision and can feel the anger radiating off Maguire.

The third attempt was the most rewarding. As Maguire attempted to shoulder barge you off the ball, you gracefully evaded his challenge, sending him tumbling into the dirt. With remarkable composure, you scored yet again and the team couldn't contain their amusement and admiration for your resilience and skill. Whilst some worried that they would need to step up their game to keep a spot on the first team.

As you were about to move to the next game, you felt a hard push you forward harshly as you heard your teammates around respond with audible woahs. You turned around with a glare and was face to face with Maguire who was fuming. "What's wrong Harry, do I have dirt on my face?" You would say making fun that he had dirt on his face from when you sent him to the ground. Before Maguire could cuss you out, Kane got in-between you two, as you two were pulled away, Kane turned to Maguire as Grealish stood on front of you in a protective manner

"Maguire!, that's enough," Kane said firmly, looking Maguire in the eye. "We're here to work together as a team, and this kind of behaviour isn't helping anyone. If this continues I will make sure you wont play the next game"

As Kane continued to address Maguire, other players began to gather around and it became clear that the incident had divided the team. Some players like Foden, Walker, Saka, Sterling, Pickford were clearly on your side, believing that you had been provoked and had demonstrated your skill in response. Others, Noticeable Manchester United players like Sancho, Shaw and non United players like Henderson were against you, showing support for Maguire.

"ENOUGH" The team was silent as they heard Southgate speak up. "BACK TO TRAINING NOW." He turned to you and walked up to you ignoring Maguire "F/N, I don't know how you train back in Japan but this place is for the most professional of footballers. Act like it. We don't need any more incidents like this." You bite your tongue back, You knew he was trying to goad you into responding but you just looked down and had to swallow your pride. He left without saying anything to Maguire. You couldn't help but feel pissed off that he turned a blind eye to Maguire's actions and choose to blame you for the entire incident but in the back of your head you knew you had to fight for Serena, You career and those who are supporting you. don't lose your head you thought. The mixed emotions of anger and hurt were mixing around in you. Anger due to the treatment from the manager and players who have it out for you and Hurt that you felt like a target to most of the team.

You would feel a hand n your shoulder and turned to see it was Kane "You ok?" He asked and you just shrugged "Been through worst" Kane would frown " I don't know what the gaffers deal is but you were not to blame there. You did what anyone would do. when I saw your name on the call up post I searched you up and you are a fantastic player and you will do great things for England. I don't see why Gareth is treating you like this but I know you will make him and the others acknowledge you once they see you on the pitch" with that he would pat you on the back and leave. You smiled happy knowing that your captain believed in you and supported you it added more fuel to the fire that was building. You couldn't wait to show them what you could do.

Later you would be doing some last minute mess around with some of the team before heading in. You were shooting against Pickford in goal when a idea came to your mind as you saw Pickford away from his line. As you kicked your toes under the ball it would glide up into the sky and float over Pickford who was left standing in awe as the ball landed in the net. Screams of approval and claps came from Jack Grealish, Phil Foden, Kyle Walker, and Declan Rice, who had all witnessed the audacious chip with delight. Kyle clapped you on the back. "That chip was a thing of beauty, mate!". Declan Rice would ruffle your hair "That was mad man, could use you at Arsenal" he would joke around.

"THATS MY BOY" You all would turn to the voice in the distance and see the women's team from afar walking along to the training facility building and saw a wild Millie bright cheering her boy. You would wave to her slightly embarrassed. You could see the faces of the other Lionesses laugh at Millie's antics with the exception of a few who were confused. You were happy that you got to show off and some of your new friends on the men's and women's team saw it. It also reminded you of what Millie said last night about if you need someone to talk too. You wanted to vent to her about the day. Sure you could with the boys and maybe Lucy, But Millie was the one straight up with you and you know you wouldn't be a burden going to her about it. And you didn't want to make Serena stressed out about it when she has to focus on a whole team.

"Looks like you pulled lad" You would hear Jack say in a cheeky tone but confusion would show on your face as you didn't understand what he was saying

Phil Foden, sitting nearby, noticed your confusion and decided to clarify. He leaned in and explained, "It means it looks like you've caught someone's attention romantically, mate."

You shook your head, a slight blush still on your cheeks and responded, "Oh, no, it's not like that. Millie and I are just friends." It was true, you had no feelings like that for Millie

Foden couldn't help but laugh at your quick dismissal of any romantic involvement. "Alright, mate, just friends it is. But Millie sure seems proud of her 'boy' over there." The group laughed as you knew this wasn't going away anytime soon.

After training you would take a shower and change, Heading down a hallway to the cafeteria until you would see Sancho, The man stopped in front of you. He didn't sugercoat his words. "Look, L/N, let's get one thing straight. We're just teammates, and I don't care for you taking Rashford's place." The words hit you like a punch to the gut. The camaraderie you had hoped to build with Sancho, seemed to have hit a major roadblock. It was a stark reminder that not everyone on the team welcomed your presence, and the feeling of isolation and negativity weighed heavily on you. The man would walk past you as you signed before running your hands through your damp hair and walk around a corner.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the approaching figure until it was too late. You accidentally collided with someone, and as they stumbled backward, you reached out instinctively to prevent them from falling. You would lock eyes with the figure. It was Alessia Russio. "Whoa, sorry about that," you quickly apologized, steadying her.

Alessia would smile sheepishly "Its alright, I wasn't looking where i was going, L/N right?" You would smile back "Yes but call me F/N. and you are Russio right?" Her smile got brighter as she would respond "Yes but you can call me Alessia" But then her face turned slight concerned noticing the slight frown on your face, "Is everything okay? You seem a bit off." You hesitated for a moment, debating whether to share your recent encounter with Jordan Sancho. But ultimately, you decided to confide in Alessia, who had shown genuine kindness.

"I had a bit of a run-in with a teammate from the men's squad," you admitted. "It's just been a rough day, and some of them aren't very welcoming." She would give you a knowing look. "Yep been there, Don't let them get to you. You're here on merit, and you have the talent to be with the national team. We all saw that lovely chip earlier" You would smile sheepishly as the words comforted you. She was right and you couldn't help but smile brightly and look into her eyes getting a clear look at them. You slowly felt like you were being hypnotised and unknowingly to you so did Alessia

*Wolf whistle* You would both snap out of it and turn to the sound

"What do we have here, then Ella?" You would turn to Mary Earp's alongside Ella Toone. Caught off guard by the duo you would then notice you were both holding each other. In a panic you would both separate and try to recompose yourself. You braced yourself, you had hoped this two United players wouldn't be like the ones from earlier Alessia quickly turned to face the two Manchester United Women's players, a friendly smile on her face. "Hey, Mary, Ella! This is F/N, This is one of the new players for the men's team. F/N, meet Mary and Ella." You smiled and stuck out your hand. "nice to meet you both"

Mary and Ella exchanged knowing glances, clearly amused by the situation. Mary was the first to shake your hand "Oh, F/N, you're fitting in quite well with the ladies, I see," Mary teased, her playful tone still very much intact. You tried to fight back the blush on your cheeks and then Ella would shake your hand "You two make a cute pair" Alessia would kick Ella as you looked down embarrassed.

Ella would play off the kick however. "AH Mary I'm falling" She would say falling to Mary who caught her "My hero" Mary would then play also "Fear not my love, i am here to protect you" She said in a mocking. Alessia was bright red "That's it" She then ran after the two down the hallway leaving you behind. You sighed in relief, The teasing made it obvious that you found her attractive and didn't want to embarrass yourself when you only just met them.

"They can be a lot sometimes. Sorry about them," You jumped at the force turning to them who would put a hand on your arm "sorry didn't mean to scare ya" In a apologetic voice. You saw it was Leah Williamson "I'm Leah." She shook your hand "F/N" You responded to her. You felt the same way when you met Kane. You felt nervous meeting the women's captain.

Leah sensed this and then shifted the conversation to the upcoming men's game against the Netherlands, showing a genuine interest in your thoughts. "So, how are you feeling about the men's game against the Netherlands?"

You appreciated her friendly demeaner and openness. "I'm feeling excited and ready. It's a great opportunity, and I'm eager to contribute to the team's performance. I'll give it my all."

Leah nodded in understanding and gave a smile. "That's the spirit. Just so you know. The squad was talking about you last night." A wave of anxiety washed over you" All good things and just know We're all behind you and we'll be cheering you on. Just remember, it's just another game of football. Enjoy it." She would pat you on the shoulder. You couldn't help but feel moved by the words she said. It really felt genuine and she wanted you to succeed. With that she began to walk away before stating "I heard you like golf, we should play sometime"

"I'm down" you would shout to her as she walked down the hall "Good lad!"

You sat there, in the stadium of light. England were beating san Marino 6 - 0 in the 67th minute. The day was filled with preparing and trying to focus. Of course there was media, Asking you how you felt and if you think you were ready for this. Also the online response was mixed. From those who thought you weren't good enough, didn't know you and of course the Rashford situation. But there was an upside, those who gave you a chance watching your clips or the interviews on the England YouTube channel drew a liking towards you an da big one was it showed you watching the Lionesses train and talking to Serena which shocked but drew interest to you, from fans loving the face you were supportive of the women's game and to people it as you trying to learn as much as you could.

Excitement coursed through your veins as you observed your teammates on the field, the crowd, each play and each goal filling you with a sense of pride. The atmosphere in the stadium was electric, with fans cheering for their team and the players demonstrating their skill and determination. Yet, alongside the excitement, there was also a twinge of restlessness. Sitting on the bench, you were eager to contribute, to step onto the field and to make a statement in the match. The desire to prove your worth and show your capabilities was a burning motivation within you. As you closely watched the game unfold, you couldn't help but mentally prepare yourself for the moment when you might be called upon to join the action. The second half played out before you and you remained focused, all the days of studying the tactics and learning from the experienced players around you lead to this

The opportunity to represent England in an international match was a dream come true and you were determined to make the most of it. Your emotions were a mix of excitement, anticipation, and readiness, as you waited for your chance to step onto the pitch and contribute to the team's success.

As the second half of the match against San Marino continued, you couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation. However, as the minutes ticked away, Southgate didn't look at you once. You were waiting for him to tell you to warm up. Anxiety built up as you wanted to burst onto the field and show everyone your worth. You knew that your fans in Japan and around the world were watching, Serena and the Lionesses were too. Why isn't he calling to you. It was the 80th minute and you could even hear the crowd close to you say

"Put the new kid on!"

"Why isn't he putting L/N"

"We want to see what he can do"

The minutes ticked down

81th minute

82th minute

83th minute

84th minute

85th minute

86th minute

87th minute

88th minute

89th minute

90th minute

*Final whistle blows*

It never came

You sat there in disbelieve as when you saw Southgate shook the opposing mangers hands you caught him smirking at you as you sat there hurting.

Part 1 End

[callsignhood]

König on a rampage

Tags: Angst / Headcanons /‼️Description of violence and cruelty‼️ / Not proofread /Dark König??

Word count: 500ish

König was always on missions during his twenties. Sometimes it lasted for days, sometimes for weeks.

Being deployed and following commands was almost a therapy for him. It provided him the focus on something that could be controlled, rather than his untouchable anxiety.

Handling weapons and aiming targets was easier than handling relationships, which he was slow at.

He wasn’t too close to his team, but they weren’t strangers either, of course. He just had trouble to open himself up to anyone.

He was young, with a body built like an oak tree and nerves of steel. He always tried to maintain calculated during gunfights. Although he was young, he never acted recklessly. He was even willing to retreat if the consequences of pushing forward were high.

König rarely got shot since was agile and vigilant on the battlefield. If he was, he knew how to treat wounds because it was given as mandatory training.

His pain tolerance was very high. Or maybe he’s just good at keeping everything by himself. He’d clench his teeth and wrap the flesh tightly to stop the blood flow, take a few breaths, self-evaluate if he can do this or not, then continued to fight.

He barely had any rest, because he believed he didn’t need much of that. If he had a day off, he would wash off all the blood and sweat on his body, eat until he’s satisfied, then slam himself on the bed and sleep for an entire day.

König was then deployed to Berlin. It was a rescue operation from the hands of Al-Quatala, and he led a team of five.

It was a mission under raining bullets. The commander has underestimated enemies’ resources, and König’s team was struggling with limited assets.

One of them was down during this twelve hours pain-in-the-ass battle. It made König frustrated at the whole situation.

He sweated under his gears and gloves, changing mags and yelling out order behind cover. He counted his bullets, not enough. His commander has not yet telling them to retreat.

Fucking bullshit, he mumbled. This better not be a suicide mission.

He then e saw a child being thrown out instead of a grenade, a few feet beside him. As he was taking in this sudden information, a flash of explosion blinded his eyes, he felt himself being knocked out by the shockwave.

He growled at the pain, got up from the bloody ground after a few seconds of struggle, then he saw half of an arm and one foot. Small. Belonged to the child.

König took a few breaths, their death sinking into his brain and it made his blood boil. For the first time, he didn’t wait for further instruction by the commander, as he let rage takeover the body.

And it became his weapon, he stormed into the room with his assault rifle, shot down a few panicked enemy that was fleeing to take cover. They did not expect anyone would storm into their base recklessly like this.

He double-tapped them, then took pursuit on the rest like a beast going rogue. Six were on the base floor, four on the roof top. If his ammo ran out, he’d ditch it and grab a rifle from the dead enemies. Turns out they had a fucking heavy machine gun, that’s why König’s squad were showered with bullets.

If there was a chance for melee combat, he’d use the most painful method without a blink.

He got shot twice on the arm, once on the leg form the back. He bit through it, half with adrenaline, half with his flaming rage. He had enough with this. Nothing could stop König on his rampage.

The remaining two were guarding the hostages. König took aim and shot one of them dead with one bullet.

The other screamed and wanted to run, but König was faster, pinned him down and grabbed him like a prey. His own blood stained the clothing, and the burning revenge was dripping down from his eyes, glared down at the enemy.

“You like to be cruel, ja?” König spitted, stabbed the knife into his eye. “Then I’ll pay it back to you!” He gutted out those painful screams. Again and again, as it was the only way to calm himself down.

When König was done venting his fire out, he turned to the hostages. He was almost covered in red with a pair bloodlust eyes. They were trembling at the sight of this man, refused to go with him.

They had to be convinced by the rest of his team, so they could be finally escorted to safety. The team also took care of König. They were terrified too.

König finally passed out on the retreat heli by the blood lost and by his overwhelmed mind.

[unfortunately-obsessed]

I'll love you like a dog (you'll betray me like a man)

A/N: Not proofread. Rushed this before the gym tbh. Hope y'all guys enjoy. AO3 link

"Why do you need to punish yourself this much?"

Most houses and apartments on Earth-42 rest in darkness, so you glance down the street, eyes straining at the neon of rooftops. It's pouring. Miguel didn't had the chance to put up a fight when you are being this cruel.

The pressure is unbearable, his shoulders tense. You watched him send Gwen back her universe despite the probability of her having to confront homelessness there. You watched Miguel try to hurt a kid, and now you're watching as he sets teams to hunt Miles.

"I need to fix this," he tells you, staring and fists clenched. His voice's flat. It's the same answer everytime. You're used to it.

And you know why, of course. It's the reason why every Spider-Man must suffer.

It's the tenderness of grief. Tender like a bruise.

Miguel suffers and weeps. It's sickening to watch how much pain can make you aggressive.

You're more than aware you're a bad person. Never a hero, never sure why you were accepted among them.

(The truth about the multiverse is that they don't know it enough. The canon theory could be right. It could be wrong. They will never know in their lifetime.

It's cruel and merciless and they will never understand it fully.

You're never fast enough to save a person. You are fast enough to watch them die.

Grief comes in waves. Miguel will never see his daughter grow up.)

"Years dedicated to this job," you lament, voice clear through rain, "It all comes down to letting people die."

In another life, we bump on each other at the grocery store. There, we are meant to a happy ending.

Never this one. Here, Miguel looks at you with dread despite all else.

He stiffens further. And you're on his side, he knows it, because you will always be, loyalty outweighting what you know is wrong.

"I don't need your approval," he says. Miguel looks at you strange, eyes fiery red as if glowing with contained rage.

You inch closer to him. Miguel keeps dooming himself. It always going to end up like this.

"I'm just saying," you start, and there's something horrible inside you, "there's no coming back after this."

It's the awareness that you will let Miguel ruin you. Besides that, you would dissect him to know what's happening in his brain, gut him like a fish.

Grief comes in waves. It outweights reason, born from love. Gabriella's laughter is so loud in his head, right now. Not one day passed that he didn't want to take the his heart out of the chest.

You enable the worst in each other. It's true, you had watched him bite off the neck of a person, blood dripping from his fangs. He had watched you punch someone until your own knuckles scratched open.

"I know," Miguel snarls. Life brimming with sorrow. "But you will be on my side."

Jeff Davis has been dead since the beginning. This can go only one way.

Yet, what were Miles supposed to do? Stay still and watch his father die?

And what were you supposed to do? You'd chose Miguel over anybody else. You were never a good person.

Miguel is, though. Despite everything else, he is trying to do what he finds right. Despite the bitterness, the grief.

Somewhere else, I try harder to stop you. Here, I don't try at all. Here, I will meet you halfway.

It rains. It had been raining. The truth is that you are better a weapon than a person. Never letting go of violence like a mother's hand.

"Always," you say.

"And you understand why," he croaks out, solemnly. Taking a shuddering breath.

You purse your lips. "I do."

Loving Miguel had made you worse. "You will regret this," he waves, leaning closer.

You cannot save. You can only try. In another universe, we grew up together. The grief doesn't end but so does the love.

"Maybe." You smile to him, it's not a happy sight. He doesn't falter. "But you can do anything and I won't leave you."

Miguel is making the wrong decision. It's okay, good people also make bad things.

You stand in front of Miguel, and he loves you too. That's why he allows you to be here. "Just don't go where I can't follow."

Everything's sacrificial– you'll make Miguel's massacre holy until there's nothing else to sacrifice.

A/N: If you like what I do, please consider supporting me and buying a coffee!

[multifandomthoughts]

Requested by @swampstew

Warnings: swearing, small mention of blood and death

She was everything to him, but he didn’t know it until now.

Kid first sees her by accident; he was preparing to reload the ship with cargo that he may need for the sail to the next island. Upon placing some fresh fruit into his shopping bag, he hears a shout, and looks over. A crowd had gathered, and there were shocked murmurs between the patrons.

A scuffle had erupted between a young woman and what looked like a low level pirate. In the woman’s hand was a small bag of food, in the other hand, a knife. Within a blink of an eye, the scuffle was over, and the woman was gone. The only remnants showing that she was there was a small streak of blood, drawn from her enemy.

Kid was intrigued; the woman must’ve been a thief, or a spy of some sort. No ordinary citizen would’ve picked a fight with what seemed to be a stranger. Shrugging it off, he grumbled and continued grabbing supplies for his voyage.

Later that day, while loading the cargo onto the ship, Kid can’t help but feel that something is off. Plucking one of the boxes off the ground, he notices it feels heavier than the others. Kid made sure that each box was evenly packed so some of his less physically strong members can lift them. There has to be something or someone inside this box. Marking it, he decides to check it out later.

Once all of the boxes have been loaded on into the hold, and they’ve set sail, Kid decides to either confirm or deny his suspicions. Tiptoeing quietly down the cargo hold stairs, he circles around the marked box. With a quiet grunt, he rips off the top of the receptacle and peers inside.

“What the fuck.”

Inside the box, was a woman. To be specific, the one Kid had seen at the marketplace earlier. “Did you really think I’d be that stupid to let you run a sneak attack on us?” With a grunt, he grabs her by the collar of her shirt, and saunters up to the deck to show his crewmates what he’s found.

His steps, loud and menacing, alert his crew to his presence. He drops her with a loud thud as he looks down. “What’s your name, brat?” His voice deep and menacing, She tells him her name as he continues to interrogate her. Apparently she was going to rob the crew blind like she had done to the previous pirates, the one kid had seen at the market.

Sighing, Kid shakes his head. He has no idea what to do with her, let alone if she would be an asset to his team. Motioning for his crewmates to come over in the corner. Speaking softly, he admits: “I want to throw her overboard to be honest.” Killer however, can’t help but interject. “Let her have a chance to prove herself; if she can’t, then she can be abandoned.”

And so it went. The next year he spent almost every day with her, eating meals, going on excursions, fighting rivals and generally having a good time. It was when they were having a celebration that he finally realized his feelings towards her.

The smile on her face as she ate and drank with the others, the way the bonfire illuminated her features, and her feisty but kind personality towards others was too much for him to bear. He had to ask her out, but how?

It was almost time to disembark, to explore the new island. That was when it hit Kid: he can admire the scenery and then take her somewhere secluded to ask her out. The weather was perfect for the day, so he shouldn’t have any issues with rain. Looking among his crewmates, he spots her talking to Killer.

Before she can even finish her conversation, she feels a callused hand grip hers, practically dragging her away. “Hey, what did you do that for?!” She shrieks. “I want to come with you when exploring the island, and I didn’t know how else to get you to come with me.”

With a sigh and a nod, she states calmly. “Alright, I’ll come with you. Just ask nicely next time, okay?” Grumbling, Kid agrees under his breath and begins to walk. Leaves crunch under his feet, the canopies protecting the both of them from what was beginning to become a damp heat.

“Look at that….” Trying to break the ice a bit more, Kid points at two birds in the tree, their plumage a rainbow of colors. She can’t help but grin at him as he tries to make conversation with her. He doesn’t want her to feel like this is a march to the death, he wants her to feel comfortable with him.

Responding in kind, she begins to point out other landforms and wildlife, chatting and gesturing wildly. She’s so enveloped in talking with him, that she doesn’t notice the overgrown vines covered in moss and marcesence before it’s too late. Stepping in front of her, she lands directly on his firm chest. She can feel his heart beating a mile a minute, as hers beats in sync.

Blushing, she pushes herself off of him. “I’m okay, I promise. Let’s carry on.” She stutters. Kid, sweating bullets, couldn’t believe what just happened. He would’ve never kept someone from falling before; he would’ve watched them eat shit and laugh about it.

Making sure to be more vigilant, they continue to trek through the jungle, until they hit a dead end. A cliff, hundreds of feet above the ground awaits them. A forest of trees below them, and flocks of birds above. Kid stops and sits, motioning for her to sit across from her.

His eyes dart all around as he starts to speak gruffly. “Listen…I know the first day we met wasn’t a great one…I threatened to throw you overboard. But this year we’ve spent together as crewmates has changed all of that. I am not a sappy guy, believe me, you’ve seen how I treat the others. But something inside me has been unleashed that I never thought could happen, and that’s love. And I’ve been trying to find the best moment to ask you….if you would go out with me.” Those last few words were hard to get out of his mouth, and she can tell.

She had a fondness for him too, despite his rough and tumble exterior, she could tell he had a big heart. Even those few moments ago, him acting as her shield was enough to prove that he cared. “Yes Kid, I would love nothing more than to go out with you. You might not have noticed it fretting over your own feelings, but I had begun to grow fond of you. And I would love to spend every moment I can with you.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Kid’s body visibly relaxes. “Then…can I, uh, give you a kiss?” One nod is all he needed and she gave it to him. Leaning in, he presses a gentle but sloppy kiss to her lips.

“Let’s stay here for a while….the rest of the crew can wait.”

[haveihitanerve]

Okay but here me out- Civil War but they let them be more of a team. Like- I know theyre on opposite sides- but they've also been friends for way too fucking long to switch it up that easy. Sure, I 1000000% believe that they've always wanted to fully beat the shit out of each other, no holding back- but they're also too in love with each other to do that. So give me- Clint firing an arrow at Tony, that Tony himself helped design, that hits his suit and instead of retaliating he just screams, “God fucking damn it Barton!!!” or Steve punches Nat a little too hard in the face and just… pauses. And the entire field goes quiet and Clint pulls out a tissue and she wipes her bloody nose with it and then nods and they resume fighting… Or Tony is trying to shoot Sam but he keeps fucking dodging and hes just like “stay still you pesky fucking bird!” Or Sam and Rhodey being like, “okay- lets both fly full speed to the other side of the building- whoever wins gets to take the other person in or walk free” or like mid-battle the way Nat and Clint did- “we’re still friends right?” “Sloppy hand movement Rogers” “You left your right side completely exposed dude!” “Bro stop fucking singing the same song on repeat in your head I can’t focus!” “Jesus christ Vision! Don't just fucking appear from the floor! Warn a guy my god.” “So help me God if you say one more funny quip while losing this fight I will actually beat the shit out of you.” “No ill say it- I don't care that i dropped a car on you.” “You fucking monster! This is for my pudding cup bitch!” “dude yesterday’s lunch? Absolutely abysmal. Yeah. I said it. Whatcha gonna do?” “Guys I cant do this right now- i get one more stab wound and Laura said shes quitting>” “???quitting what?” “I don't know and I don't wanna” “how’s your farm coming along?” “Oooh wait if we’re done with all this, you guys wanna go to Freddys? They have free drink Thursdays.” “Is it supposed to rain today? Cus for real I don't care if hes an actual war criminal I ain't fighting in the rain.” “Dude, I love you, but you have the most punchable face ever” “??? were on the same team????” “Bro shit wait I left the stove on! Brb.” 

Just like.. Just. yeah. Please. Rewrite civil war. We’d all love another chance at seeing the OG 6. Especially with these interactions. Pls.

[erimeows]

Not Anymore (NSFW)

Kakashi Hatake lies awake in his bed, cold and lonely as he stares up at the eggshell-hued ceiling of his bedroom. The grey sheets beneath his back are slightly damp with sweat from the nightmare his body just ripped him out of.

He glances to the window, which is shut and locked. He holds his hands in front of his face. For a moment, he swears he sees blood on them like he did all those years ago. He blinks and looks at them again to see that they’re clean, the pale skin merely clammy. There’s no blood to be seen.

Still, he sits up and runs his hands through his hair to try and clear his head from the nightmare. Rin was there, again… He’d just killed her. For some reason, Zabuza and Haku were there too, the words they said to him in the dream now unintelligible. The silhouette of Sakumo took over the clouds in the sky, and his little Genin were there too, screaming at him for all the times he failed them.

As fast as they came to haunt him in the first place, the warped memories of his horrific nightmare fade into something more dull. 

It’s not real. None of it is real… At least not anymore. Any of what was there, is now in the past. Everything is okay now.

Kakashi lets out a sigh of relief and checks the clock.

He only has four hours left until he has to go to work his terrible job as Hokage. Should he try to go back to sleep, or should he give up on sleeping and get up to do his morning training…? 

The room is dark. It’s raining outside. The clouds block the bits of moonlight that would normally pour through the window of the Hatake compound. It’s so dark that Kakashi can’t help but be reminded of the stormy night that he found his father’s body, cold and dead on the floor with his sword jammed through the chest that he’d once been held against on stormy nights such as this one. Now, there’s no one here to hold him when the thunder booms so loud it makes him flinch, and the wooden floor is still stained with blood underneath the carpet Kakashi put on top of it long ago to hide the evidence of what happened here. 

Kakashi rubs his eyes to clear them of sleep. There’s no way he’ll be able to get any peaceful rest after that…

Suddenly, something- someone- is in his peripheral. Kakashi checks to make sure his mask is still covering his face when he realizes that it’s just Obito, who must’ve used his Kamui to teleport in. 

“It’s way past midnight. What are you doing here this late?” Kakashi demands. Obito shifts, uncomfortable, so he follows his question up with a quirked brow and a joke. “Here to finally kill me?”

Obito laughs, something gravely and sardonic. Heat rises in Kakashi’s chest at the sound. 

“You wish.”

Obito is in a t-shirt and pajama pants, but he’s wearing his mask… That stupid white orange mask that he wore just before the war. He wears it almost every day, even after Team Seven saved his life and brought him back to the village- even after Kakashi practically begged the elders and Lady Tsunade to give Obito another chance like they did with Sasuke, Orochimaru, and Kabuto. Kakashi wishes he could rip the swirl-patterned mask off of Obito’s face and break it over his kneecap. Still, he tries to ignore the immediate rage at seeing the mask, as whatever Obito’s here for must be important. 

“...Don’t tell me,” Kakashi sits up in bed and stares Obito up and down. He swears, at times, that the two of them are in sync. Though Obito’s face is covered by his mask, Kakashi can guess by his sudden arrival and his body language why he might be here. “Nightmares?”

“Yeah,” Obito nods.

Kakashi isn’t sure what to do. On one hand, he could drag Obito out to go train, but going to fight probably isn’t what will help either of them right now… So, he lies back in bed and lifts his covers to invite Obito underneath them.

“Come here,” He lowly says, to which Obito freezes. It takes an awkwardly long time for him to finally move, but Obito does end up crawling underneath Kakashi’s covers and lying down, albeit facing away from Kakashi. The silver-haired man can still see the band of his friend’s mask around the back of his head, and at the sight of it, he frowns. He knows damn well Obito doesn’t sleep in it at home. “Can you at least take your mask off if you’re going to be in my bed like this?”

“You’re the one who invited me into your bed, asshole.”

“Obito.”

“Fine, just-” Obito grumbles and rips the mask off of his face, throwing it to the carpeted floor of Kakashi’s bedroom. “Don’t look at me… Please.”

“Okay,” Kakashi shrugs, somewhat disappointed. He’s been in love with Obito for so long, but he’s hardly gotten to see his face since the war.  “Would you… Like to be held? Maybe?”

“Kakashi, you know that’s… Not something friends really do,” Obito retorts.

Kakashi pauses. He supposes that, no, cuddling is not something that most friends do. He doesn’t see Obito as a friend, though. He never has. And while he doesn’t think Obito will ever love him that way, he wants to love Obito more than anyone else will ever be able to. 

“We’re not the average set of friends, are we?”

“I guess not.”

Much to Kakashi’s surprise, Obito rolls around to face him. Before Kakashi can get a look at his face, however, Obito is hiding it by snuggling into Kakashi’s thin frame.

“Anytime you need to, come back here to me. I don’t care how late it is if it’s you,” Kakashi starts, turning to fully face Obito and pulling him close before resting a hand on his back and gently rubbing it through his t-shirt. “I’ll let you cry on my shoulder… I’ll listen to anything you want to tell me… Rub your back, play with your hair. Whatever you want to make you feel better, Obito, I’ll do it.”

“Shut up, Kakashi,” Obito scolds, burying his face in Kakashi’s chest. “You’re embarrassing me.”

Kakashi doesn’t respond. Instead, he does as he’s told and stops talking. He rubs Obito’s back with one hand and plays with his hair using the other. The dark, curly locks feel soft against his battle-calloused fingertips. Within minutes, Obito’s tense body relaxes into a deep slumber. Calmed by Obito’s presence and knowing that he has nothing better to do until his alarm goes off, Kakashi falls asleep as well, a smile on his face underneath his cloth mask.

~

The next morning, Kakashi wakes up alone, but warm, to his alarm clock going off. He groggily reaches over to turn it off and sits up in bed. The covers fall to his lap as memories of Obito rush through his mind.

Obito is nowhere to be seen. Since the war, the man has been elusive as ever; closed off, emotionally stunted, and sometimes even mean. Though Kakashi tries to be as affectionate as possible, he himself has the emotional maturity of a teenager and struggles to openly communicate. Hell, Obito doesn’t even know about his feelings. Part of him thought that they would magically get along now that they’re older, but they argue just as much as they used to. 

Their personalities clash, just in a different way than they did back then. 

They argue… But the tension is also different than it was back then. Their issues are deep-rooted, much more serious, and impossible to resolve when neither of them are willing to be vulnerable with each other.

It’s hard to believe that they fell asleep in each other’s arms just hours ago. Kakashi almost assumes it was a dream, but then, he smells the scent of coffee wafting into his bedroom from the kitchen and sees that his bathroom door is haphazardly left half open when he knows he had it closed before he went to bed. 

He gets up, gets dressed for the day, and heads into the kitchen to see half a pot of coffee already made- and still hot. He pours himself a cup and heads to the living room to see Obito, still in his pajamas, but with that fucking mask on his face again.

He sips at his coffee and stares the other man up and down. Obito is leaning against the wall and staring out the window, watching the sun rise. Kakashi wishes he could see his face. 

“Can you take that off?” Kakashi asks, annoyed to see the stupid orange thing this early in the morning. 

“No. I already took it off last night when we slept. Isn’t that enough for you?” Obito huffs. “Why don’t you like it, anyway?”

Kakashi sends the sharpest glare he can manage in Obito’s direction. Maybe if he’s lucky, he’ll break the mask.��

“Are you serious?” He asks with a deep frown as he sets his coffee cup down on the end table next to the living room couch. “You really don’t know?”

“No, I don’t,” Obito snaps. “So enlighten me, Kakashi.”

“I… Like your face,” Kakashi confesses. Seeing Obito’s face- tan, scarred skin, his one beautiful dark eye, the big brilliant grin he’d wear… He misses it. More importantly, when he sees it, all he can think of is Obito’s evil alter ago, ‘Tobi’. He points to the orange mask with black swirls and shakes his head. “And that thing…”

“You mean my mask,” Obito corrects. 

“It’s a symbol, Obito.”

“A symbol of what?”

“Are you really going to make me say all of this out loud?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a symbol of war and death,” Kakashi scowls. He walks towards Obito and places a hand on the man’s shoulder. “I can’t see you in that thing and pretend that everything is normal. You realize you wore a nearly identical mask for the years you terrorized this village, don’t you? When you killed Minato and Kushina and left Naruto an orphan? When you orchestrated the murder of seven Jinchuriki and Pain’s attack on this village? When you planned out the war that caused the deaths of thousands of people?”

“Kakashi-”

“After all the work I had to do to get the elders to even consider leaving you alive, let alone letting you exist this freely… You wearing that mask feels like a slap in the face. And they’re too kind to tell you, but you know it affects the kids, don’t you? You’d be an idiot not to.”

“I didn’t think-”

“Sakura still has nightmares about all the injuries she had to treat because of the war you started- Hinata and Naruto still see Neji dying when they look at that thing- and the villagers stare at you with such intense hatred when you wear it out, which is most of the time-”

Obito cuts Kakashi off, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and yanking him closer. Even with the mask covering Obito's face, Kakashi can feel the fiery glare and tight frown that are being shot at him from underneath it. 

“How else do you expect me to cover up what you did to me?”

“What I did to you? Obito, don’t even go there… That’s the sort of thing that happens when idiotic leaders go and throw their emotionally damaged child soldiers on the front lines of a war,” Kakashi gradually raises his voice until he’s yelling, hot fiery rage burning in his chest like fire. “We were children!”

“Like you’re trying to do anything about it? Last I checked, Kakashi, we still have twelve year olds becoming Genin and going on D-rank and C-rank missions! You’re as bad as Lord Third was,” Obito matches Kakashi’s yelling and tightens his grip on Kakashi’s collar. 

Kakashi doesn’t make any effort to free himself from Obito’s grasp. Obito won’t hurt him, after all- not anymore. He does, however, reach forward to jab a finger into Obito’s chest. His voice drops to a furious whisper.

“We both know-”

Suddenly, Obito lets go of Kakashi and turns his back to the man. Kakashi stumbles at the force of it. 

“It wasn’t your fault and you’re trying to fix the system, but the elders are making it difficult for you,” Obito says the words like he’s rehearsed them, because every time they have an argument about anything, it turns into this- reminders of what Kakashi did back then, reminders of the war, and reminders of how neither of them can go back in time and fix how badly they’ve wronged each other… Reminders of how they’re still friends despite everything. They’ve gone through this cycle a million times about a million different things since Obito’s rehabilitation. “I know, we’ve had this discussion countless times now since I came back… I’m sorry.”

“...I’m sorry, too.”

“I can’t think of anything else,” Obito retreats to sit down on Kakashi’s couch, finally dragging the mask off of his face and dropping it onto the floor. He drags a large hand over his rippled cheek and shakes his head. On top of his left eye is a black eye-patch to cover the Rinnegan he stole from Nagato’s corpse all those years ago. “These hideous scars cover over half of my face, and they’re just… A representation of everything that’s happened...”

“Obito…”

“No one wants to see these, Kakashi. Don’t even try and lie to me,” Obito covers his eye with his hand to avoid Kakashi’s prying gaze. “They’re fucking ugly.”

Kakashi walks towards the couch, kneels on the floor in front of where Obito is sitting, and looks up at him. A baffled expression takes over the other man’s face.

“I don’t think they’re ugly, I think they’re-” Kakashi cuts himself off. The next word he wants to say is ‘beautiful’, but A) Obito would laugh in his face, B) calling Obito’s scars beautiful would be invalidating his feelings about them, and C) that would easily give away his feelings, because while Obito is certainly an idiot, he isn’t that dumb. “I think you’re…”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Kakashi looks away. His cheeks burn red with a blush that spreads up to his ears. “Never mind.”

“What is it? Wait, are you blushing?” A look of realization crosses over Obito’s face. Right then, Kakashi realizes that he’s on the verge of letting his friend know his greatest secret. “Kakashi-”

“I have to go to work,” Kakashi suddenly says and stands, heading towards the front door. “I’d hate to be late.”

As he places his hand on the knob, Obito objects-

“Since when do you care about being late these days?”

Kakashi being Kakashi, he doesn’t answer.

“Be sure to lock the door on your way out when you go back home, Obito.”

And, with that, Kakashi leaves, knowing damn well that the ever growing stack of paperwork on his desk is only going to end up neglected in favor of his thoughts about the man left behind in his lonely apartment. 

~

For the rest of the day, Kakashi thinks about Obito.

He thinks about their childhood.

He thinks about Obito’s ‘death’.

He thinks about all the times he went to the memorial stone and prayed for his old friend.

He thinks about the war.

He thinks about bringing Obito home, about demanding that he be given a chance to rehabilitate regardless of everything he’d done.

He thinks about why he hasn’t confessed his love yet.

At first, it was because they were freshly out of war- because Kakashi was busy taking on the role of Hokage, fixing the village, and maintaining the new and fragile alliance with the other major ninja villages. 

Then, it was because Obito was still healing.

Now, though, it’s been years. Now… Well, now it’s just because he’s afraid of Obito rejecting him. In his mind, best case scenario, Obito laughs him out of whatever room they’re in and humiliates him by telling everyone they know about what happened. Worst case scenario, Obito gets angry and is so offended that he chooses to never talk to Kakashi again, and the years they’ve spent salvaging their old friendship will go to waste.

The sun sets outside. Kakashi recalls watching the sunrise with Obito this morning and smiles, even though they argued during… To watch the sun rise every morning and set every evening with Obito by his side has always been his dream, and even if it was only for a short time, he got to live that this morning.

The silver-haired man clicks the trigger of his pen over and over again as the last of the sunlight dies. Right then, the door to his office opens.

No knock.

Must be Naruto or Obito.

Kakashi doesn’t bother turning around, so he continues to face the window with his back to the door as he hears it close. If it’s Obito, he doesn’t even want to face him after the words they exchanged this morning… Maybe if Kakashi avoids the damn fool for long enough, he’ll forget about the fact that Kakashi was about to call him beautiful- forget about the fact that they slept together in the same bed- forget that Kakashi kneeled at his feet and stared up at him with a blushing face and love-filled eyes.

“Looks like the day’s wrapping up,” Obito says, his tone unusually hard to read. Fuck, it is him. At that realization, Kakashi turns around. Obito is leaning with his back against the door, probably to keep anyone else from coming in. His arms are crossed over his chest and he has the most smug, shit-eating grin Kakashi has ever seen painted over his pretty, unmasked face. “It’s getting late for you to still be here. Aren’t you usually home by now?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi agrees. He would’ve left by now on any other day, as it’s almost six in the evening, but he was so afraid of going home to find Obito there that he opted to stay locked in his office. He hoped that Obito would get tired of waiting up for him, or that Obito would forget about it all. Then again, that’s not exactly realistic… To expect the man with enough persistence to execute an evil plan and a war over the span of a decade… To expect Obito to lack persistence in regards to something so trivial compared to everything else they’ve been through together. “Guess I’ll get going, then.”

Kakashi stands from his desk and gathers his things, all while avoiding Obito’s prying charcoal eye. 

“Kakashi,” Obito starts.

Kakashi, terrified to even have this conversation, walks to the door that Obito is leaning against. He ignores Obito for a moment, even as they’re chest to chest, but when Obito makes it clear that he isn’t moving until he gets what he wants, Kakashi glares down at him. 

“What?” Kakashi says with a roll of his eyes as he reaches for the doorknob. Obito reaches behind himself and grabs Kakashi’s hand to keep him from leaving. “What do you think you’re doing, Obito?”

“Do you think I’m stupid or something?”

Kakashi blinks.

“...What?”

“You’re avoiding me,” Obito states the facts rather than asking, which makes Kakashi’s face burn bright red.

He really is bad at hiding his feelings, even with his cloth mask covering half of his face… Still, he tries to play stupid. Maybe if he makes Obito angry enough, he’ll be able to escape this terrible situation. 

“And why would I avoid you?”

For a moment, it’s silent. Kakashi stares down at Obito, whose smug aura makes Kakashi’s heart beat faster against his chest. 

Then, before Kakashi can so much as blink, Obito is spinning them around and pinning Kakashi to the door. Kakashi gasps at the feeling of Obito’s fingers wrapping around his wrists to push his arms back against the wall. And really, Kakashi could try to stop this if he wanted to, or at least make enough of a fuss that one of the few employees left at the Hokage Tower would come to see what’s going on. However, he finds that he can’t complain when Obito’s knee is between his legs, just lightly brushing against his crotch. 

He doesn’t want to make a scene, anyway.

Or, that’s what he tells himself.

“Seriously, this is getting embarrassing,” Obito whispers with a smirk. His one charcoal eye is clouded with lust. “I may have been an idiot when we were kids, but I’m not anymore.”

“I…” Kakashi trails off, unsure of how to respond. 

“You what?” Obito drops one of Kakashi’s wrists in favor of roughly grabbing the man’s chin. He makes Kakashi look him in the eye, to which Kakashi bites his lip. If this isn’t like something out of Icha Icha… “C’mon, Kakashi.”

“I have no idea what you’re going on about,” Kakashi says, using his one free hand to yank at his collar. The temperature in the room feels as if it’s just gone up ten degrees. Sweat gathers underneath his forehead protector and around the tightest parts of his uniform as he fumbles over his words. “I’m… Just tired. Not that you would know, but being Hokage is quite draining.”

“You’re trying to piss me off so I’ll drop this, but it’s like I said, Kakashi, I’m not stupid. Not anymore. Last night… And this morning… Well, you made your feelings obvious.”

“You really want to do this?” Kakashi snaps in a low whisper, just in case there’s anyone outside the door or in the hallway who could be listening. “Right now, in my office when there’s probably still employees outside who can hear us?”

“I knew you wouldn’t want to make a scene here, so it only made sense for me to do it like this. If I tried to corner you in private, you’d run.”

“Looks like you’re still an idiot after all,” As much as Kakashi would love to just drag Obito in and take him on the floor of his office, he knows better. With the open window lacking curtains and the other villagers still walking the halls of the tower, there’s a good chance they would get caught. The potential embarrassment aside, he needs a little bit of time to mentally prepare himself if they’re really going to do this. Kakashi gathers the strength to push Obito off of him so he can turn around and open the door. “Meet me at my place later if you really want to talk, but Obito…”

“What is it?”

“You need to consider whether or not this line is one you truly want to cross,” Kakashi glances back at Obito over his shoulder. Now, Obito’s tan cheeks are dusted light pink. “Because if you cross it, you’ll never be able to go back.”

“...Fine. I’ll be there.”

~

That night, Kakashi steps out of his bathroom and lets out a sigh of relief when he’s shrouded in the chilly air of his bedroom. Steam follows from his scalding hot shower as he brushes through his hair and gets dressed. 

He glances at the clock to see that it’s already half past nine. He has to be up at five in the morning to make it to work.

Is Obito still coming?

Kakashi shakes his head. That’s a silly thought to have. Though Obito is often late, he never forgets a commitment, even after the terrible arguments they always have. He’s not one to back down either. 

Almost as if on cue, a portal appears right next to Kakashi’s bedroom window. When Obito first returned after the war, Kakashi would’ve been up in arms at the sight of Obito using Kamui to enter his apartment. These days, it’s a regular occurrence. 

“I’d really you rather knock on my door like a civilized member of society instead of Kamui-ing into my apartment any time you feel like bothering me,” Kakashi calmly scolds Obito, even if he knew damn well this is how tonight would start.

Obito’s never been one for normalcy, anyway. 

“Now is that any way to greet an old friend?” 

Obito steps out of the void of his Kamui and onto Kakashi’s carpeted bedroom floor, where he casually kicks his shoes off. 

Kakashi, bless him, crosses his arms and nervously paces around the room. Rather than his Hokage’s cloak or even his standard Jonin uniform, he’s in his pajamas; a tank-top with a mask attached and long, baggy pants. He and Obito have seen each other that way so many times over the years, but now- tonight- it makes him feel vulnerable, especially when Obito is still fully dressed.

Well… At least he’s not wearing that stupid fucking mask anymore.

“Are we… Not still friends?”

Obito being Obito, he doesn’t answer.

“You showered for me? How considerate,” Obito sneers as he cracks his neck and sits down on the edge of the bed.

Kakashi looks Obito in the eye. His Sharingan is still activated, but there’s something different about it… He’s expecting something, the fool. Even after all these years, Obito has no idea what he’s getting into, doing this with someone like Kakashi.

“I didn’t do anything for you,” Kakashi argues despite the fact that Obito’s words have some truth to them. 

With how busy he is, Kakashi hardly gets the chance to shower these days, only doing it a couple times a week- as disgusting as that is. Tonight, though, he took the time to do so on the off chance that this confrontation led to some confessional sex… Just like in the ‘Icha Icha’ books. 

“So, are we gonna talk?”

“If you already know how I feel,” Kakashi gulps, then turns away from where Obito is sitting on the bed. He stands near the window and pretends to look out at the bustling village streets. “What is there to talk about?”

“Don’t you want to know whether I love you back or not?”

At that, Kakashi snorts.

“You were Rin’s certified bootlicker for the better part of a decade. You started an entire war because she died. I’d be lying if I said I thought I had a semblance of a chance with you,” Kakashi explains. “If I’m being honest, I assumed you only wanted to rub it in my face when you came to confront me earlier, but now...”

“You,” Obito speaks, right in Kakashi’s ear. Kakashi whips around to see that Obito is standing right behind him. Did he teleport, or did he somehow get up and walk to Kakashi without him noticing? “Are still an idiot.”

Kakashi blinks.

“I’m sorry?”

“I love you,” Obito boldly states as he rests one gloved hand on Kakashi’s hip. The other goes to grab the top of Kakashi’s mask. Briefly, Kakashi thinks about slapping Obito’s hand away, but he’s too excited for what’s about to happen that he doesn’t. Instead, he allows Obito to drag his mask down his face. The garment hangs loosely around Kakashi’s neck as the other man drinks him in with his one ruby red eye. “I didn’t love you back then, sure, but I do now. You’re my best friend. You fought for me and believed in me when no one else did. If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been executed.”

“So… This is out of some sort of obligation?” Kakashi frowns as his heart drops to the bottom of his stomach. “Because I’ve been a good friend to you?”

“No, dumbass,” Obito scolds and shakes his head. “That’s only part of it. I love you for you- whether you’re my friend or not, because let me tell you… Since I’ve been back, there’s been plenty of times where you’ve made it pretty clear that you hate me- at least at some points.”

“I’ve never hated you,” Kakashi whispers. “Never. Not even when I first found out about what you had done. I’ve… Only ever been worried, or frustrated. I just want everyone in the village to love you like I do.”

“But I don’t care about that,” Obito furrows his brow, confused by Kakashi’s words. “I don’t give a shit what the village thinks about me, Kakashi. No matter what I do now, they’re bound to hate me until I die, and I don’t care. I deserve it. You, the kids, our friends… You’re the only ones that matter. I don’t care about everyone else.”

“It’s a shame that they don’t see what I see in you.”

“You’re the only one who should ever get to see me like this.”

Obito uses his spare hand to reach up and caress Kakashi’s bare cheek. Kakashi leans into the touch, allowing his eyes to flutter shut. Obito really is the only person he’d let his guard down around like this… At the same time, this is the first time Obito has seen his face since they were children. 

What if he doesn’t like it?

“My face… Is it okay for you?”

“Okay? You know, there’s a reason Ayame damn near loses her mind any time we go to eat at Ichiraku,” Obito says, pressing a kiss against Kakashi’s neck. Kakashi damn near jumps out of his skin at the sensation, but gathers his composure enough to reach behind him and pull his curtains shut before clutching Obito’s shoulders. “And there’s a reason all the girls in the village glare at me when we’re together.”

“Huh?”

“It’s not because they hate me, Kakashi,” Obito rolls his eyes and laughs. “It’s because they want you, and somehow, they figured it out before I did that you’re mine.”

And Kakashi nearly melts. His knees shake, suddenly feeling like jelly as they struggle to keep his body upright. His heart slams against his chest as he continues to grip at Obito’s shoulders. He doesn’t argue with Obito because he knows as well as the other man does that it’s true; he’s Obito’s, and even considering how far apart they were for so long, he always has been. 

“Obito…”

“Your face is so red underneath the mask,” Obiti points out, stroking one of Kakashi’s high cheekbones with his thumbs. “Is it usually like that, or are you just blushing because of me?”

“I see you’re as arrogant as always.”

“You know,” Obito whispers into Kakashi’s ear and practically drags him to the bed. “It took everything in me not to just fuck you in your office earlier.”

Fuck. Kakashi gasps and falls back onto his mattress, the sheets ice cold against his hot body. Obito crawls on top of him- so close- and it would be so easy to shut his mouth and submit, but Kakashi knows that Obito’s always liked a fight in regards to most things in life. 

“Bold of you to assume I wanted it,” He argues, a lump forming in his throat as he lifts himself up on his elbows. “So presumptuous, Obito.”

“I’m not assuming,” Obito laughs, and then, his face darkens. He looms over Kakashi in the well lit bedroom with his arms on either side of Kakashi’s shoulders, his knees between Kakashi’s legs, and his nose brushing up against Kakashi’s nose. Obito smells like smoke and coffee and lust, and Kakashi can’t get enough of it as Obito sits up on his knees and unzips his flack vest. “I know you want me.”

At that, Kakashi falls silent. Instead of arguing again, he averts his gaze from Obito’s prying eyes and lifts his tank-top up over his head. Obito follows and sheds his undershirt, leaving both of them half-naked. Kakashi can’t help but stare. His charcoal eyes linger for an embarrassing amount of time on Obito’s midsection. 

Obito’s shoulders are broad. He’s in much better shape than Kakashi, who has certainly become softer since becoming Hokage. Meanwhile, Obito trains constantly both because the elders wouldn’t allow him to be enlisted in the regular forces or obtain a normal job- and so he can protect the village if a threat ever arrives again. 

“Mah, I can’t believe our first time together is going to be while I’m so out of shape,” Kakashi complains. He still trains most mornings, sure, but he’s lost the muscle he used to have in his arms, and his once defined six pack is now merely a smooth map of pale skin. “How unfair.”

“Who gives a shit?” Obito says, rolling his eye. “Your priorities have always been so out of whack. You know, I’m just happy we’re here… Like this, together, tonight. You think I care about whether or not you look like you did when we were in our twenties?”

“Well, you still look good, so…”

“Stupid Kakashi,” Obito leans down and, finally, kisses Kakashi on the lips. It’s so brief that Kakashi doesn’t even have the time to kiss him back. “You’ll always look good to me.”

“Well, now I’m embarrassed,” Kakashi sighs. He tilts his head back against the pillow on the bed as Obito mouths at his neck. Then, he threads his fingers through Obito’s hair and gently tugs at the curly raven locks. “But if you really think I look that good… Why don’t you…?”

“Why don’t I what?” Obito teases and, without even asking, drags Kakashi’s pants and boxers down his hips in one swift motion. Kakashi sharply inhales at the sensation of cold air on his half-hard cock. “I never thought you’d be this shy. C’mon, tell me what you want.”

“I want…” Kakashi starts, but he’s so embarrassed that the words he wants to say die on his tongue. “I want you.”

“Want me to top you?”

“I’ve never-”

“What, never bottomed before?” Obito asks with a quirked brow. “I don’t mind.”

“No,” Kakashi answers, lying flat and covering his face with his hands. He’s never been one to be so bashful, but with Obito on top of him, staring at him like this, asking him such things when he hasn’t had sex for the better part of a decade… It’s so intimate… Vulnerable in a way that Kakashi isn’t accustomed to. “It’s just that I haven’t even been with another man before.”

Obito blinks.

“Huh… Wouldn’t have guessed. Are you a virgin, then?”

“No, no. I’ve slept with women, but it’s been a really long time since then.”

“How long?”

“Oh, God…” Kakashi pauses. He recalls the foggy memories of the last time he had sex; he was towards the end of his Anbu career, in one of the disgusting bathroom stalls at the bar on the outskirts of town. He had one of his female subordinates face-first against the wall with her skirt hiked up- and it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible. He remembers doing it- all the sex, the drugs, the drinking- to drown out the pain of being young and losing everyone he’s ever loved. Though sex with Obito is exciting in theory, sex has never been anything but stress relief for Kakashi. “Uh… Right before I got discharged from Anbu. Maybe twelve years ago? Eleven?”

“Jesus,” Obito, much to Kakashi’s surprise, looks shocked. “You might as well be a virgin if it’s been that long. You seriously haven’t been laid in over a decade?”

Obito ignores Kakashi for just long enough to reach into the man’s nightstand drawer for his bottle of lube. 

“Hey, how did you know that would be there?” Kakashi demands as Obito finishes undressing himself and pops the cap open. 

It takes everything in Kakashi not to shamelessly stare at Obito’s nude body- at least not for so long that Obito would make fun of him for it. Still, he catches Obito’s broad chest, narrow waist, and defined abs, followed by the dark trail of hair that leads down to his hard cock. 

“You haven’t been laid in a decade,” Obito answers with a quizzical stare. “Knowing you, if it wasn’t in the nightstand drawer, it was going to be under your pillow or in a box under the bed.”

Kakashi shrugs.

“Fair. So, I’m assuming you’ve…?”

“Recently? No, but I’ve topped with other guys before if that’s what you mean.”

Kakashi frowns. He knows that they spent a lot of time apart, and that they’re not necessarily in a relationship, but the idea of Obito sleeping with someone else- God forbid, someone else in the village that Kakashi knows- makes him die inside.

“Since you’ve been back?” 

“What does it matter to you?” Obito replies, then smirks as he pours the lube into one hand and rubs it on his fingers to warm it. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“So what if I am?”

“Then you shouldn’t be, because I always imagined they were you.”

Before Kakashi can ask anything else or accuse Obito of lying to make him feel better, Obito’s dry hand is grabbing one of his thighs and spreading it apart. Kakashi jumps at the sudden touch 

“Don’t stare at me like that,” Kakashi orders, his bottom lip trembling from the sensation as he reaches down to grasp at the bedsheets. His hips shift up to meet Obito’s hands. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Fine. I’ll kiss you instead, if you don’t want me to look… Just know that you look so fucking pretty like this.”

Admittedly, Kakashi letting Obito stare for even a few seconds is a feat. He wouldn’t let anyone else see him like this- vulnerable, submissive, bare, and ready to be taken. But Obito isn’t like anyone else, because Kakashi actually trusts him. That realization is a terrifying (yet beautiful) one that nearly has Kakashi’s heart leaping out of his chest at the same time Obito is kissing him. 

Without warning, there’s a long, thin, slick finger being pressed against the rim of Kakashi’s ass. He jumps, but doesn’t object when Obito pushes it in. He’s surprised at how easily it gets past his entrance, and even more surprised when a second immediately follows. The feeling isn’t painful, but it isn’t especially pleasurable at first either- at least until Obito’s other hand wraps around the base of his cock. Kakashi can’t bring himself to have any restraint- the second Obito’s hand makes contact, he’s thrusting up into it with a small moan. Obito doesn’t tease like Kakashi expects him to, either. He pumps Kakashi’s dick in one hand and uses the other to finger him, experimentally moving his long digits to see how Kakashi reacts. The stimulation in two different areas is enough to make Kakashi’s head spin.

Dignity be damned, Kakashi spreads his legs further. He felt rather neutral about the fingering at first, though as Obito adds a third and screws them in deeper, Kakashi sees stars behind his eyes. 

Precum drips from his tip and onto Obito’s palm as Kakashi’s orgasm starts to build, and fuck, it’s been too long since he’s done something like this. Hell, he can’t recall the last night he’s had the time or the motivation to masturbate. 

“A-Ah, Obito, stop,” Kakashi gasps as he finally breaks the kiss. “I’ll finish if you keep touching me like that.”

Obito listens to Kakashi’s words and keeps a hold on the base of his cock rather than continuing to stroke it. At the same time, the fingers that were being used to fuck Kakashi’s ass become still. 

“Isn’t that the point?” Obito quirks a brow in. The most adorable pout takes over his face. If Kakashi weren’t using every ounce of willpower he has to keep from cumming on Obito’s fingers, he would stop to make fun of Obito’s expression. “I wanna make you cum, ‘Kashi.”

“I don’t think I can handle cumming from this and then letting you fuck me. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t even been able to take care of myself lately, so I’m… On edge, to say the least.”

“Hm, okay. So what you’re saying is that you want me to hurry up and rail you?”

Kakashi feels his face scrunch before he can stop it.

“As hot as you are, I’m not validating that with an answer, let alone begging, so get on with it.”

“That’s fine. I’ll make you beg next time, yeah?”

Kakashi doesn’t respond, instead rolling his eyes as Obito slides his fingers out of him. Obito grabs the previously abandoned bottle of lube and spreads what’s left of it over his own cock and around the rim of Kakashi’s entrance.

“That’s over half the bottle,” Kakashi half-heartedly complains. “Do you know how expensive lube is?”

Obito shrugs.

“If you’re not using a good chunk of the bottle, you’re not doing it right.”

“Fair, but I don’t think anyone in the village wants to see their beloved Hokage frequenting the local sex shop for lube.”

“What, you haven’t bought any since becoming Hokage?”

“I don’t think I’ve even gotten the chance to get myself off since becoming Hokage,” Kakashi retorts, expression blank, to which Obito blinks back at him.

“Wow… Even more reason for me to give you the night of your life, I guess. You ready?”

Kakashi nods.

“Y-Yeah, I think so.”

With that, Obito presses the head of his dick against Kakashi’s entrance and thrusts forward in one fluid motion. Kakashi lets out a noise- choking, a gasp, a moan, a cry- he isn’t sure, because his ears are ringing so badly from having such a thick cock inside of him like this that he can barely hear. The feeling of being so full paired with how Obito’s rock hard abs grind into his sensitive cock has him making another noise- and this time, he’s certain that it’s an obnoxiously loud cry of Obito’s name. 

“You okay?” Obito questions, putting his weight on his forearms and resting his forehead against Kakashi’s. Though Kakashi’s eyes are screwed shut to keep Obito from seeing how humiliatingly far they’re rolling back from the pleasure of this, he can feel Obito’s Sharingan staring a hole into him. “I can pull out if-”

Obito starts to move his hips back, to which Kakashi wraps his legs around the other man’s waist to lock him in and whispers-

“Don’t you dare.”

“Yeah?” Obito hums and pushes Kakashi’s messy, silver hair away from his eyes. Then, when Kakashi finally meets his gaze, he sees the mischievous gleam in Obito’s Sharingan. “You want me?”

A million responses go through Kakashi’s head, none of them all too articulate. They vary from ‘yes, please fuck me’, to ‘shut up’, to ‘fuck you’. Finally, he manages to force out an underwhelming reply.

“Yeah.”

“Hold onto me, then.”

And Kakashi does. He tosses his arms around Obito’s neck, laces his own two hands together, and holds on for dear life as Obito thrusts into him. His head tilts back so far and so fast that he swears he pulls a muscle in his neck as he gasps for air. 

Being stuffed like this- it burns, but it feels so fucking good. He can’t settle on whether to pant like a dog in heat or to hold his breath at the electricity that courses through his veins when Obito sets a steady rhythm of slow, deep thrusts, totally ignoring (or perhaps revelling in) the way Kakashi is clawing at his scarred back.

For now, he’s able to forget about everything; the arguments they’ve been having, their past, Rin, his parents, their Sensei, his stupid fucking job as Hokage that he didn’t want in the first place, the ridiculous expectations that those around him hold for his life. Now, in this moment, the only things that stay on his mind are himself and Obito; the noise that echoes through the room when Obito’s skin slaps against his, the overwhelming pressure and euphoria that tears through him when Obito pounds into him, the goosebumps that raise on his skin when Obito kisses his lips and sucks hickeys into his neck.

Kakashi wants to cry. He’s been waiting for over twenty years, just for this moment, and it’s so good that he wants to relish it in a way he knows his body isn’t going to allow. Kakashi can tell that he’s going to finish only a few minutes in. 

Obito, almost as if he can read Kakashi’s mind, balances his weight on one forearm so he can use his free hand to grasp Kakashi’s cock and pump it again- this time in rhythm with his thrusts. 

“Fuck,” Kakashi curses and opens his eyes just enough to meet Obito’s Sharingan. “I’m so pent up, I think I’m going to-”

“Thank God,” Obito sighs into Kakashi’s neck before the man can even finish his sentence. “You’re so fucking hot, I don’t think I’m going to last long either.”

Kakashi moans- whether in relief or excitement he isn’t sure- but he does, and he keeps doing it, because even though he’s going to hate himself for it later, Obito whispers in his ear for him to keep going. The latter’s thrusts become sloppy and increasingly rough as he gets close, and with one that goes in so deep that it almost hurts when the head of his cock slams into Kakashi’s prostate, Kakashi finishes. He grasps at the dark locks at the back of Obito’s head and cries something pathetic as he paints his and Obito’s stomachs white with his cum.

And, after what feels like fucking forever, Obito lets go of Kakashi’s length and fucks him like an animal for every bit of five minutes to reach his own release. 

Obito nearly collapses onto Kakashi as he climaxes, chest against his chest, face buried in his neck, and arms shaking. Kakashi They’re both drenched in sweat by the time that Obito gathers the energy to pull out and get up. Before cum can leak onto Kakashi’s bedsheets, Obito rushes to the bathroom for a towel and some wipes. 

Obito comes back to the bed and tenderly cleans him off. Back when he was in Anbu, after the occasional hook up, Kakashi would run off to the bathroom, get himself together, and either leave the other person’s house or kick them out of his own. This time, though… It’s different. Obito treats him like he’s glass- not because he’s fragile, but because he’s… Loved? Cherished? A friend? Kakashi isn’t sure. He thinks to ask, just to make sure that Obito’s earlier confession wasn’t a dream, but then Obito is kissing the top of his head and whispering-

“Love you, Kakashi.”

“I love you, too.”

“Mm,” Obito hums and lies down on the bed. Kakashi glances at the other man when he thinks he isn’t looking and falls in love all over again. Obito looks gorgeous, fully nude and red in the face, his curly hair plastered to his forehead with sweat and a goofy grin taking over his lips. “You want me to stay, don’t you?”

“What makes you say that?” Kakashi asks, lying down as well and pulling the covers over them.

“The fact that you didn’t kick me out as soon as we finished is a pretty good sign that you still want me here.”

Kakashi rolls over to face away from Obito. Of course, after so many years, the Uchiha is still so good at reading him. No wonder Obito was able to figure out his true feelings so easily…

“Don’t think that just because you were in charge when we had sex, that you’re in charge of our relationship,” Kakashi huffs. “Obito…”

“Oh, so we’re in a relationship now?” Obito laughs.

“Considering the insane sex we just had, I’d be pretty insulted if we weren’t in a relationship,” Kakashi scoffs. “That being said, we’re going on a date tomorrow- even if I have to drag you there.”

Obito turns to face Kakashi’s back and wraps his arms around the man’s waist from behind. Kakashi lets out a sigh of relief and of comfort when Obito’s forehead is pressed up against the back of his shoulder.

“What about your job? Don’t you have to be in your office at six?”

Kakashi laughs.

“Fuck my job. It’s like you said, I don’t care about being late these days… Not anymore.”

And at that, Kakashi can feel Obito smirk against his skin.

“A date it is, then.”

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Mockingjay, Ch. 20-21)

(there's so much chapter 21 about the old peeta resurfacing and it feels like a reward for suffering through what this book has made me suffer through so far)

i take bogg's telling katniss to kill peeta as him just saying "do whatever you have to do to get the job done"

katniss being like um surely he doesn't think i can just kill peeta? like surely not. and then her literally being like i'm just gonna do the first two things he said and ignore the third

finnick putting on and adjusting peeta's mask while he's unconscious. the fact that katniss notes this. i cry

peeta realising he's killed mitchell hurts a lot. the capitol really turned him into something he's not. and he's fighting it so hard still

the compassion the other members of the star squad show peeta is actually very heart-warming, they're so understanding. finnick looking after him. holmes automatically going to carry an unconscious peeta so they can start moving again without being asked to. finnick reassuring him; actually everything finnick does. them refusing to leave him behind even though he is an actual threat to them

katniss thinking of the hanging tree while contemplating peeta's request that they kill him. the fact that she realises it might even be the more compassionate thing to do at this stage to give him nightlock. but the same way he says he can't let her take it at the end of the book, she can't do it here

"i feel the arena all around me... once again i'm battling not only for my own survival but peeta's as well"

i personally don't think katniss could have ever killed him. there's just no chance. when his survival is so intricately linked to her own. they're a package deal. and they fight so hard to keep each other alive.

peeta holding out the can of lamb stew to katniss. so mad we didn't get so many important moments from this book in the movies. they did a terrible job of showing the moments where peeta was coming back to himself. all his comments to the others, this moment

"the memories of rain dripping through stones, my inept attempts at flirting and the aroma of my favourite capitol dish in the chilly air. so some part of it must still be in his head too. how happy, how hungry, how close we were when that picnic basket arrived outside our cave."

OUR cave. like it was their first little home. first little intimate space just for them.

the fact that she paints this time in their cave as romantic and sentimental and picturesque. she's romanticising tf out of it. like she was in a death arena but in that moment, she was happy and close to him and that mattered so much to her

her hope at him returning to himself dripping off the page. that he remembers this.

(an aside: katniss being snarky about snow's puffy lips and saying his prep team need to be lighter with his blush is sooo funny)

in my catching fire summaries, i noted that katniss's desire to save peeta is actually a very selfish one. she's saving him for herself. because she wants him so badly to live. she wants him to be able to live more than herself. and the thought of him living while she doesn't is a personally comforting/happy thought for her. yes he deserves to live and he's a wonderful person but she's doing a lot of the saving of him for herself. because she NEEDS him to live. so her line here is interesting: "if it's true, it would be kindest to kill peeta here and now. but for better or worse, i am not motivated by kindness." - i think this is her essentially confirming what i believe or have gathered so far from what she tells us. saving peeta is not her showing him some great kindness. it's for her. she can't let him die for her own personal need and reasons. (and this isn't me criticising her, i don't think her reasons for saving him are selfish in a bad immoral way. just that she is a teenage girl in love with a boy and she desperately can't let him go)

she does the whole 'am i saving him because i care for him or because i don't want snow to win' but like it's been clear why she's been saving him thus far and continues to

"why can't i just let him go?" because you love and need him sweetheart. and you literally would not be able to live without him

and it's funny that despite all the emotion behind her reasoning, she comes out bluntly and says: so are you coming yourself or do we have to knock you out

"i slip it into my pants pocket, where it clicks against the pearl"

ugh. the key that keeps him restrained is now with katniss. her taking control of that part. the fact that it clicks with the pearl, reminding her of her boy with the bread who gave her this pearl that she's inseparable from. reminding her of exactly why she can't let him go, let him die.

peeta's comment to pollux when no one else can think of anything to say!! why didn't they include these things in the movies? auihfuaedhfufkeadh

the fact that his words are able to make castor laugh and pollux smile. he is so charming, so good-hearted, so good with people. and it's coming back. the boy with the bread is there, behind all that fog. he's there.

and again, katniss's hope at realising this. her glancing back at him. i can feel her emotions even though she's not always forthcoming with them

her wishing she could read his mind and go inside it to help him. settling on making sure he's eaten. taking away the lid so he can't hurt himself.

him saying mockingjays need wings to survive kinda feels like flirting/charm idk

"slowly, as i would with a wounded animal, my hand stretches out and brushes a wave of hair from his forehead. he freezes at my touch, but doesn't recoil. so i continue to gently smooth back his hair. it's the first time i have voluntarily touched him since the last arena" - never forget what the movies took from us!!

them smoothing/playing with/brushing back each other's hair has been a constant since the first book. an intimate thing, a comforting thing. and here, after all that's gone on, katniss knows what might help him sleep and she takes the risk of touching him. it could've gone so badly. but she still did it, for him. and for her.

him whispering "you're still trying to protect me. real or not real"... i want to hug him so bad. but he feels it. he feels her wanting to still protect him and he needs the confirmation.

protecting each other is what they do guysss

he has horrible circles under his eyes from not being able to sleep but, as katniss smooths his hair back, he falls asleep after a minute. do you understand how important this is?????