#or it'll expire before i realize

[brionnnne]

hey, i also want to add to this and say that stuff like saltine or ritz crackers can be easy in a pinch—i run through bread, especially because i'm not the only one eating it.

beyond that, it also expires faster, and sometimes i just forget to buy any. crackers have a longer shelf life, and i personally don't eat them a lot—usually with soup or tuna or something—so i can just sort of forget until i need them. i had to do this trick this morning, and the crackers i bought [last month] expire november this year.

as for tea, i use one bag of ginger lemon tea blend [i never have fresh citrus on hand, personally] and about four sugar cubes (i also typically put a bag of black tea alongside that—no caffeine—but this is just preference based) which i then steep in a glass of warm milk.

i used this first for someone else after remembering the benefits of ginger and warm milk on the stomach—i didn't actually realize that lemon helped nausea at the time, however; i was just working with what i had.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

OOOOOOOHHHHHHH gaslamp!au Jason's got it BAD... wonder how long it'll take him to realize just how bad? 😁 Love your work!! 💕

I wonder...

"Jason, do stop scowling," Stephanie said, "it makes you look like a petulant bulldog."

"It's a good match," Cassandra put in reasonably. "He's smitten enough and-"

"He hasn't read a book since primary school," Jason scoffed. For a lady who could quote Shakespeare and The Odyssey from memory that would not do. He'd spend all his time lost and you'd be bored and unhappy-

"They do look well enough together," Stephanie mused, "But. He did look rather confused when she asked him about Tennyson. And then she was forced to pretend she cared about his one time almost business venture with some gentleman with a name that SOUNDED likey Tennyson but wasn't."

"Oh that won't do," Cassandra tutted.

"I should say not," Alfred said refreshing coffee. "That sounds appalling."

"She's a kinder soul than I am," Stephanie declared. "I would have expired of boredom, mortification, or both."

"What about Mr. Allen? He's older but-"

"Absolutely not," Jason snapped setting his cup down with a clatter. "He'd treat his dogs better than he'd treat a wife."

Stephanie sighed, and set down the fork she'd been about to raise to her mouth, "Who then, dearest brother," she asked sweetly, "ould you put forward?"

"Certainly none of the dimwits you'd hand her off to," Jason snorted, rising from his chair. "Excuse me. I've more to do than matchmake. I have a lead to follow up on for Bruce."

And before Alfred or either of the girls could protest, he swept out of the dining room. Missing the meaningful glance that the girls traded while Alfred was busy fretting over another untouched breakfast and a stack of unread messages.

[bellyasks]

I Can't Just Let All This Go To Waste stuffing prompts bc i loveeee an excuse

A new bakery recently opened up in town, and your character goes to check it out. Excited to try the interesting things they have, they wind up buying way too much. Now they're saddled with a ton of baked goods that are bound to start going bad before long. It would be a shame to waste any of it, especially considering it wasn't exactly cheap, so they'd better get moving.

Your character was planning on hosting a party with a bunch of friends and prepared plenty of food to go around. One by one, though, their friends message them to let them know they won't be able to make it. Now, your character sits all alone at home, surrounded by a ton of very perishable snacks that won't be much good later. On top of that, they didn't leave any fridge space to put them away since they weren't meant to last the night. Feeling glum and deflated, your character has little to do now but spend the evening eating all that food.

Your character buys a big tub of ice cream only to discover that they don't have any freezer space to put it away. With nobody around to share it with, they have no choice but to try and eat the whole thing themself before it melts.

Fresh fruit is a perfect summer snack, except for the fact that it goes bad so fast. Following a visit to the farm market during which they let their stomach do the thinking, your character comes home with way too much fruit. They have some as a snack right away, and, unable to resist how sweet and ripe it is, immediately go back to their new stash for a little more. It's hard to stop eating, but since it's gonna be moldy in a few days, why not go wild right now?

Your character orders a pizza or two to split with a couple companions, but their plans fall through when everybody has some last-minute obligation calling them away. Everyone except your character, that is, who is now alone with nothing but a lot of hot, fresh pizza. They know they should just have a couple slices and put it away, but pizza is never as good the next day. How much of it will they eat before their belly finally stops them?

Trying to watch their spending, your character buys a bunch of marked down food in the hopes that it will last the week. The dates are sooner than they realized, though, and they only have a day or two to eat everything. They ask around, but nobody seems to be in need of their nearly-expired offerings, so they accept their fate and start planning an enormous meal.

Your character makes a big pot of soup with the intention of freezing half of it for another time. They neglected to check their freezer beforehand, though, and find that there's absolutely no room. Knowing they'll never finish all the soup if they only eat reasonable portions, your character's meals for the week consist of very large, very filling servings.

Your character bakes a big dessert for a potluck at work, but apparently nobody really liked it, because when it's time to pack up, almost the entire thing is still there. Knowing it'll only sit around getting gross if they leave it in the break room, your character brings their rejected treat back home and decides to take care of it themself.

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

My surgery yesterday went well. N and I prepped for it by watching a lot of bronch videos the night before, so they could understand what's happening.

I slept basically all day yesterday, and was very weak from anesthesia. I was only up for maybe an hour for dinner, and I stayed up late because I was worried I'd choke on my spit.

I didn't realize until this morning that there are incisions on the sides of my neck, under my ears. They were sore this morning, not as much now.

I'm grateful for my friends who live there, who are always excited to see us, and to hang out with us. They're very kind, and they've known me since I was.... 4?, and they clearly love me. (They also don't have kids, and so I'm kind of their kid when I visit.) It's always a nice (and somewhat surprising) thing to feel.

As of today, there are plans for a next step surgery, in January. It'll be low intensity; it'll be me staying in the hospital at least overnight. If it's doing what we think, it'll fix my stridor and my sleep apnea, hopefully.

I can only speak very quietly today.

I'm very proud and appreciative of N for learning so much and taking care of me. They're such a good spouse, and I know they're doing the most they can to take care of me (they called probably 20 different pharmacies to order a part for my sensor that expired and Walgreens hadn't told us to refill, so my blood sugars during my surgery would go smoother).

I'm exhausted, much more than I thought I would be. Just drained. We got home about an hour ago, and I'm very grateful that I don't have plans for this weekend. Hopefully I can recover, not sure exactly how.

[all-pacas]

when do you think cameron actually started to like chase? not just being physically attracted to him, not when she realizes her feelings. when do you think feelings started to develop? when they're sleeping together? after he gives her the flowers? when house fires him? has she always low key liked him?

GOOD QUESTION, it's impossible to say!!

So, in Lockdown, Cameron actually does clarify this for the first and only time:

CHASE: The first time you slept with me was because you were on crystal meth. CAMERON: I was on the drugs because I was emotional. It was the emotions that led to the sex, not the drugs. CHASE: Not true. After that, you refused to let it go further than just sex. CAMERON: Because I knew I was falling for you and I didn't want to.

And the thing is, while very little in S2 and 3 back these assertions up, they make perfect sense for Cameron's character. She didn't do meth for the fun of it, or even just because of the HIV scare: the entire episode keeps underlying that she's "boring," that she's "stuck in a rut," that she doesn't have fun, that she's wound too tightly. Kalvin keeps telling her to try living for once; Chase accidentally at one point (and teasing her at another) implies the same. She did meth to give herself an excuse to be impulsive and reckless, to lower her own inhibitions. And she called Chase.

I don't think she had feelings for him at this point. At all. But at the same time, he's not the worst pick for this? All talk about his own lack of inhibitions and good decision making aside: Cameron and Chase have been working together almost three years at this point. On a superficial level, they know one another well; they get along. Chase teases her sometimes, but they clash much less than Foreman with either of them, they've always sort of gotten along. So sure. She wants casual sex, she picks someone she knows and basically trusts. Makes sense.

S3, though?

First, it's insane — we don't talk about this enough — how the FWB thing even starts. Cameron doesn't get the idea out of nowhere, she specifically has a conversation with Foreman about love and commitment where he tells her, basically, that she definitely did not have it with her Poor Dead Husband.

CAMERON: You think I didn't have the real thing? FOREMAN: I have no idea what you had. […] You married a dying man. You thought six months, a year, it'll be tough. But then I'll recover and I'll have the rest of my life. It's like willingly getting the flu or joining the Peace Corps. Short term. CAMERON: Wow, you nailed it. It was basically like a wasted weekend. FOREMAN: The sacrifices you made were huge. But they were at the height of your love for him. Commitment is only commitment because it has no expiration date. You stand next to someone and watch them floss for 30 years like my parents have, then ask for sacrifices. That's how you know the real thing. Cameron, I wasn't criticizing you. People who avoid commitment are people who know what a big thing it is.

Cameron lets the subject drop after this… and then runs to Chase and proposes casual sex with him. What was that train of thought?? She certainly isn't trying to prove Foreman right here. I think the opposite: she wants to prove him wrong. She knows what a real relationship is! She knows what commitment and love are, and is capable of both! And Chase is the first person her mind goes to. Why? They've slept together before, but… so what, frankly? I think she probably kind of liked him at this point, but with no intention of follow through: she doesn't let herself do shit like that without an excuse. But now she has one!

But she can't just ask Chase out, because Foreman is right, that does scare her. So she pretends it's casual sex only, and immediately breaks all those rules — by the next episode they're coming into work together; she keeps calling it a relationship — and then gets mad at Chase for getting confused.

She gets scared and dumps him, but then goes around acting like she was just dumped and is upset about it. Chase calls her out on this and accuses her of having feelings for him, which Cameron never actually denies. She was sincere when she said she didn't want to date him (her experiment is complete; she can have a relationship but it's too scary and so she doesn't want to do it anymore), but she did have feelings for him.

I don't think Chase's Tuesday scheme was ever really going to work on Cameron — all it does is give her more chances to double down and be stubborn and she loves doing that! — but I do think him getting fired was the push she needed, because suddenly there's a very real possibility she won't ever see him again, and Cameron can't let go of shit. Human Error is all about being afraid of change and pushing through that fear. Chase finds he's okay with moving on; Foreman leaves the hospital; House loses his team and feels okay… and Cameron, too, has to leave her comfort zone and make a change. The question isn't if she likes Chase at this point, but if she can push herself and be brave and take the risk of admitting it, and she does.

[yarrystyleeza]

In A Heartbeat (M.M)

"I loved her, father, and her heartbeat was all it took for me to fall in love with her."

Taglist: @mindidjarin @acharliecoxedfan @v4leoftears @itwasthereaminuteago @munsonownsmyass @chvoswxtch @chronicoverachiever @bellaxgiornata @netflixmatt @netflixmatt-main

[series masterlist / main masterlist]

[Prologue]

Word count: 3.8k!

warnings for this chapter: brief mentions of trauma and mental illness, usage of pills, and panic attacks.

The winter air howled through the frigid streets of Hell's Kitchen and danced around the warmth of brick buildings, little snow droplets were swinging through the chilling wild winds. Though the scene might sound crowded, but it was filled with utter silence, even the stray dogs were taking shelter from the stinging cold. That wasn't long until something broke the silence of the storm.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

A heartbeat has caught the blind vigilante's attention. Such a young pump in this cold weather, what could force it to be out at this time of the night?

That's when a sweet fragrance hit his nostrils, put him on alert. It was a scent of a woman, so floral and sugary, but definitely captivating.

A laughter tore its way out of the snowy storm, it made his heart flutter out of his chest, he thought it had skipped a beat, and a little wave of blood rushed to redden his partially hidden cheeks.

His hearing was soon met by the soft crunches of her winter boots on the thin layer of white snow, the lub-dubs against her ripcage grew louder and her breath was warming the space in front of her a little each time she expired.

"It was a hard case to be honest with you, but it actually made me realize that I can go back to where I've always belonged to," her voice went smoothly through his ears like a satin ribbon, "mom, I guess I'm ready to call myself detective Mayfield again," she swung the plastic grocery bag softly, "oh, sweetie, you finally said it! You won't believe how long I waited for this moment..." her mother said on the other side of the call, a soft sob left her mouth, "aw, mom, please don't get me started with crying now, you won't be able to shut me off," she chuckled as a stray tear went down her blushed cheeks, she rubbed her cold nose.

"But don't get too excited about it yet, I'm still hunting some offices down to hire me," she made it to her building, walking up the stairs to her apartment floor, "offices? I thought you'd be back to the department..." her mother commented, "I don't think I'm ready for that action, I just made it out alive," she sighed, bolstered the phone between her shoulder and ear to get the key inside the hole.

"Come on, sweetie, you can do it, I know my baby..." her mother begged, "mom. I know what I'm capable of doing now--" she interrupts, "--and being back to the NYPD team is just... Out of my league," she sighs, putting the keys down on the dresser and taking her purse off her shoulder, she steps out of her boots and takes her jacket off, dusting the ice off the thick fabric before hanging it on the hatstand.

"Alright, baby... But at least tell me it's on your mind?..." she sighed at her mother's quest, a tired smile grew on her face, "alright, mom... It'll be on my mind, but not for now," she promised, with a little regretful frown, "sorry but I gotta go now, mom, I'm a little tired of today's celebration at the paper," she rubbed the front of her brows, "alright, sweetie, don't forget to have a decent dinner, you deserve it, baby... Goodnight, my dear," her face stretches widely as she smiles, "goodnight, mom, I love you," she hangs up.

Her sock-covered feet make friction against the wooden floor as she lazily drags them, she takes the wool scarf rounding her neck off, throwing it to the hanger, hoping that it would land perfectly, but it doesn't, so she turns back and hangs it manually. A loud purr followed by a trail of meows is making its way to her down the living room, "aww, look who's excited for mommy being home?" she carries her cat the moment she steps in front of her, "you're hungry, baby? I brought us drumsticks for dinner! You're getting a treat for mommy's celebration!" her cat meowed louder, getting feral for the chicken smell intoxicating her nostrils.

"You like them, right?" she cooed, her voice interrupted with her loud chewing, humming at how happy her cat is. They finish their meal and both of them get ready to go to bed, she changes into her cozy sleepwear and goes right under the heavy blankets, her cats snuggles next to her beneath them not long after.

A smile stretches his rosy lips as he supports his body to stand up off the emergency stairs attached to her building, taking the way up to the roof to jump off one rooftop after the other, taking the safest way home, though he realizes they are a street crossing from each other.

Keeping focus on her calming heartbeat, he climbs up to his apartment, he opens the emergency door and walks down the stairs to the main area. Removing his black mask off of his head, a smile unconsciously grows on his face, as he felt his heart pumping loud in his chest, like a drum solo in an orchestra performance, the blood rushed to his cheeks to redden them louder, more vibrant.

He stepped out of his dark leather boots and took his tight black shirt off, dragging his feet down to his bedroom, he threw his tired weight onto the mattress, face imprinted in the fabric of his silk sheets.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The vigorous heartbeat is pumping gently in his ears, combined with the soft crunches of the falling snowflakes, and her soft huffs of air as she breathes. Probably she's having a nice dream, he thinks. A sudden wave of guilt washes over him. He knows he shouldn't eavesdrop someone, specially in the safety of their home with no danger surrounding them. But he can't help it. As if the tick-tocks of her heart were the last thread he's hanging on, and he's holding on for life.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

It's almost two in the morning, his tired eyes kept focused on the ceiling, his lids were so desperate for a few hours of sleep. But oh poor they are, his heart was forcing him to stay awake, following his ears' orders to keep on listening to her heartbeat. He feels like he's drugged, he can't drag himself out of this, he's intoxicated by the simple sound of thumping in this cold night.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

He finally gives in, he lets his eyelids fall into rest after hours of fighting back. His own heartbeat settles in, and his body feels like falling through the mattress to another level of existence. The ticks of her heart created a soft lullaby for him.

Peep. Peep. Peep.

His very annoying alarm goes off, he grunts as he lifts his heavy head off the pillow, he feels hammers pounding on his skull, he fell asleep at almost 5 am, and now that it's already six in the morning, he can't fall asleep back again, he has to get his ass off the bed and go to work.

He searches for the vigorous sound again, the loud pumps catch his ears again, this time more active, more excited. "good morning, my love," he heard her cooing at her cat, a smile stretches across his face, "mommy's gonna start searching for some offices... From the safety of our home," he loves how her tone shifts when she speaks to her cat, "yes, I know, I know, but we have to," he hears the little purrs in response to her, "don't worry about that part, you'll get fed with the same amount," her feet shuffle against the wooden floor, her cat follows her around with little tabby waddles. The strong aroma of hot espresso hit his nose, as she started to prepare her morning coffee.

He removes the sheets off of his body and takes a deep breath, inhaling the air that surrounded him, taking whatever littlest scent of hers, the feminine pheromones of her freshly washed body, the soft lavender shampoo fragrance that stuck onto her locks, the floral essence of her body lotions, the stiff aroma of her morning coffee, the funny odor of her cat's dried food, and the delicious smell of her sizzling hot breakfast.

Every scent he inhaled wasn't the first he'd ever encountered but, somehow, the combination of all of them was very unique, even new to his olfactory senses.

He got into his morning routine, barely pushing her presence to the back of his head. He took his morning shower, and put on his gray suit. He tied the thin black tie firmly around his thick neck and combed the chocolaty waves on his head. He wraps the watch around his wrist and wears his crimson red blinds. He puts his dark coat on, takes his briefcase, along with his sight aid cane and keys, and leaves the house.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

As stable as it can possibly be, he can hear it through the titanium walls of the elevator, louder than the buzzing electricity aroung him. The elevator lands down and he makes his way out of the building.

"What took you so long, Matt?" his blonde friend greeted him the moment he came into sight, "your night wasn't rough, buddy?" his friend asks gently, he shakes his head softly, "it was the best night," he answers with a slight smile, as softly as he moves with his friend along the sidewalk, "wait, you hooked up with some girl last night?" his friend stops walking, turning to face him.

He shakes his head with a chuckle, "no, at all," he shrugs, "if so, then what got you so worked up like that? Your face is red, bud," his friend digs down deeper, but he knows he can't get a word out of Matt's mouth if he doesn't want it to get out.

Matt smiles, the blush on his face grows louder and more vibrant, as he heard her faint giggles as she plays with her cat.

"Come on Ivy, catch it! " she snickers, "you're such a good girl! "

"Jesus, my man, you don't seem fine at all, are you sure you can make it to the court today?" his friend tilted his head a bit to the right, he's worried now. "I'll be okay, Foggy, don't worry about it," he shrugged with a slight chuckle in his voice, "c'mon, we got a trial to catch," he grabbed his friend by the arm.

Usually, Foggy is the one who leads the way, but today, Matt wanted to force himself away from keeping on listening to her heart, as he couldn't shut his ears off, the only option he had was to get away from the sound as far as possible.

"How can you actually catch a certain girl's attention?" Matt blurted out, Foggy stops, tilting his body to face his friend's. He keeps staring at him for a moment before actually speaking, brows shooting up his forehead, almost reaching his hairline. "You are not okay, buddy! You, Matt Murdock, asking me, Foggy Nelson, to teach you how to catch a girl's attention when you're some women magnet on feet?" Foggy spoke, Matt shrugged, "I'm just..." his brain circuit cuts again, the memory of her laughter rings in his head like a scream in an empty hall, "there's definitely something wrong with you, bud, who's that girl that's keeping you like this?" Foggy's expression softens, "like what?" Matt's brain is refusing the fact that it stopped functioning properly ever since last night, "like this! All red and blurting and probably daydreaming! Who is this lucky girl?" he doesn't even know the answer yet.

Who was that lady? Detective Mayfield? The name somehow rings a bell in his head, he's not sure when he'd heard it, but he's sure it was long ago.

"Never mind it, just a thought," he's sure it wasn't, but even if he told the truth, he doesn't even know what to say or how to say it. He's confused, garbled, and his thoughts are scattered. Foggy surrenders before they continue their way to the office — to gather a couple files before heading to court, meeting Karen, their third friend.

Hours of arguments and stress pushed the memory of her thumping muscle to the back of his head. But soon it was back into view, intertwined with the oh-sweet memory of her chuckles.

They left the courtroom after what felt like eternity, promising to catch some cups of coffee together to discuss the latest elements of the case, and maybe to get their shit back together. The office has been a total mess for a while.

Karen's phone buzzed with a message, she took her phone out of her purse to check it. "Boys can you wait for me? Just ten minutes, I'll be back," she says, gathering her sunny silky locks behind her ear, "just ten, my head is gonna explode if I don't get coffee soon!" Foggy jokes, to which she gives him a thumb up, spins and goes on her way.

"You've been silent since we got out, you okay?" Foggy starts, Matt turns at him with a slight confused smile on his face, imprinted the lone dimple on his right cheek. "We've been talking for hours, I'm barely standing now, Fog," he jokes, throwing his shoulders down.

He was keeping track of Karen meanwhile, the place was so crowded this morning after all, he wouldn't like her to get lost in the sea of people and spend time trying to find each other.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

He thought he imagined it, it's faint, he's not sure if it was even real. But the more Karen moves, the louder this heartbeat got, as if she's walking towards it.

His blood raced up to heat his cheeks, making them grow all red. His dark thick brows shoot up his forehead, and a little side smile stretches on his lips.

It's her.

Again.

Her laughter cleaves the air and through his ears goes. It's her again. Was her presence a miracle? Well, he didn't believe in those but, he sure thinks this is one.

"Matt?... Matt? Matt!!" Foggy shakes his shoulder, gently but enough to snap him back to his senses, "Matt, I was talking to you! You okay, buddy? It's happening again, are you ill? Do you need to see a doctor?" Foggy was worried, his brows knitted together, he didn't know what was wrong with his friend, and surely he wouldn't ever know if Matt doesn't tell him.

His lips parted and closed multiple times. He doesn't have an answer. That's not even love if that what they call it, right? But it surely moved something inside him, it changed the chemistry of his brain. She flipped the light switch of a dark room he kept closed for a long time.

"Sorry I was late, guys," Karen breaks through the crowd and makes her way to them, and breaks the uneasy situation Matt got into. "No, don't mind it," Foggy speaks, trying to get his mind off of how weird Matt was acting the whole morning, "what was that thing that made you leave so quickly?"

"Oh," she exclaims with a shiny smile, "it was my friend from the bulletin, she wants to go back to her old job and she's here finishing some legal papers."

So she's Karen's friend? Matt knew he had to take advantage of this.

"What was her old job?" Matt asked with innocence in his tone, "like... we can help her on it," he corrects himself, readjusting the red blinds. "She was a detective back in the NYPD, the youngest in her team--" Karen answers, "--wait this rings a bell--" Foggy interrupts her, snapping his fingers, "--yeah, detective Mayfield, right?" Karen blinks and nods, "yeah, yeah... That's her, Madilyn Mayfield!"

Detective Madilyn Mayfield... He knew something was so familiar about her.

"Matt, you remember the cop who returned that whole school bus back to their families years ago?" Foggy pokes his bicep. He does remember now. She was the talk of the town back when he used to work with Foggy at Landman and Zack's.

"Yeah, I-- she was amazing," he tried to play it cool, but he couldn't help the smile that tore his face into two halves. "Well, she still is," she nodded animatedly, "she wrote amazing articles at the bulletin boards as well as reporting some of the massive events in the past couple years, I think you might've came across one of her articles before. Frank's case? She was supporting him a ton!"

It was under his nose this whole time.

"So what is she looking for?" Matt stirred his cane as he spoke, "Maybe we can help her."

He has to take his chance.

"Well, she's looking for private investigation offices to hire her," Karen answers, "she's still not ready to be back in the NYPD yet," she shrugged, curling her lips downward a bit.

"Maybe we can link her to Jessica Jon--" Foggy suggested, "--maybe she can join our team," Matt interrupts him with a higher tone, laying his winning card, his last card, hoping it actually wins. "Maybe it's time for us to expand our services a bit," he smirks oh-sure.

Foggy raises his brows, throwing eyes between Matt and Karen, who is eyeing Matt with surprise. Karen blinks multiple times, mouth gaping and closing. "You know what, you're right!" she nods.

Exhale.

Foggy shoots his brows higher, still looking back and forth between Matt and Karen. The idea looks fine to him, he doesn't even disagree, but Matt doesn't look fine at all. His smile grew wider and his cheeks are redder than ever. But still, he has no idea what got his friend so worked up like that.

Her heartbeat fades slowly out of the place. She must be leaving now.

"You can talk to her and offer this new job," Matt speaks, "if that wouldn't be a problem," he smiles sheepishly, "no, don't worry about that, I'll talk to her about it," she smiles back.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going to send Ellison my resignation letter tomorrow, I'll talk to him about it, I know he'd understand, he should," her voice rang softly in her warm apartment after the night has fell. "I've been struggling with working at the paper lately, and I think he already knew something was wrong so I think it would be a win for both of us," she caresses her cat's white fur.

"But d'you really think he'd understand and wouldn't be so pissed off about your leave?" her mother asks. Madilyn sighs. She's not so sure about it, but he can't force her on the job, can he? "I dunno, but I hope his mood is good tomorrow morning... But I just checked my inbox, he sent me an email asking why I didn't come over this morning, and my phone... Well, it has about twenty missed calls from him and other paper staff... Did I take this decision at the worst timing?" she rubs her forehead until it's reddened, standing off her seat to aim for the window.

She knows it's a very frigid night and that she'd catch a rough cold. But she needed to breathe, she felt the air being squeezed out of her lungs. Her panic attacks were less frequent lately, but it happened twice this week.

And this is the third.

She slides the glass up and sits by the frame, heart beating faster than a racer on the run, sweat hurling down her skin like the British showers despite the coldness of the air streaming through the window.

"Maddie?... Maddie, are you still on the line, baby?" her mother calls out from the other end. Her vision gets blurry. Her mouth is dry. The sound in her ears feels numb. She slides against the wall finding shelter on the ground.

One. Two. Three...

One. Two. Three...

One. Two. Three...

The salty sweat travels along her forehead, passing over her trembling lips, her teeth grinding onto each other.

The thought of things going bad after years of waiting and trying to go back is definitely worse than a nightmare.

Her shaking fingers fidgit as the world spins around her head, lights and shadows twirl against her eyes. She's scared, as if death is coming for her head. She's groping for anything around her as if she's drowning in the middle of the ocean, feeling her lungs suffocating as if the water rises to her neck.

Those eight minutes felt like a lifetime.

"Mo-- mom?... Mom, are-- you here?" she finally speaks, throat feels like bounded in thorns, dry and scratched. Her eyes shakily travel down to find her phone lying on the wooden floor. "are you okay, baby?... Was that an episode?... Are you still on the pills?..." her mother watered her with questions, voice cracking a sob.

She stopped taking the pills as she thought it made her feel worse. It did. She's been consuming a lot of medical substances for the last couple years, trying to find something to help her recover and forget about all the traumatic events she's gone through.

Nothing was working, eventually. Therapy helped a little, yes, with time and practice, but she knew she couldn't tell her mother she stopped the meds. She'd be even more worried.

"I'm-- I'm okay now, mom..." she rubbed the front of her head multiple times, sighing after what felt like eternity of holding breath, "I'll be okay..."

A swift movement caught the corner of her eye, a soft shuffle in the thick snow piling over the metal emergency stairs.

"you're still there, Maddie?..." her mother asked, "did something happen to you again, baby?..."

She peeped her head out of the window but couldn't see anything out of place, things were... Strangely calm tonight. Ground is painted with white, while the sky is pitch black, clouds are crowding over her head.

"hello?..." her mother calls on the other end. "yeah, sorry, mom, I...--" she answers, her honey irises are roaming right and left, "--I thought I heard something outside my window..." she takes a final look before sliding the window back down. The room no longer frigid. Neither is his heart.

He might've went too far tonight, he knows it. He went to bed with thoughts storming his head, he didn't expect things to go this way or, to his surprise, witness her going through a solid panic attack.

He knows he can't help it, and he knows it's so wrong to eavesdrop someone in the first place, but... Something about her drew him in closer and,

He couldn't get away anymore.

END NOTES:

Our blind vigilante caught a heartbeat that changes everything for him. Well, he's well aware of how wrong eavesdropping sounds, but he simply just couldn't help it, he's getting addicted to her.

Basically, Madilyn leaves the bulletin paper and makes the decision to go back to the battlefield. But still, she is afraid of her decision, actually she is terrified, which leads her to this panic episode. She's not taking medication for her condition on a regular basis which makes her situation falter. And Daredevil, he witnessed all of this.

[next]

[mingtinys]

[ Prologue ]

pairing : jeong yunho x gn!reader

under the red sun (let's hold hands 'till the sun falls down)

previous part && masterlist && next part

warnings : language , mentions of suicidal thoughts 

word count : 0.9 k

a/n : this has been in my drafts for nearly a week and i just haven’t been able to convince myself it’s good enough to post . but i know people are waiting , so i promise part 1 will be a lot better !!

It doesn't get easier.

You wish it would, but it doesn't. You wish you could numb your mind and leave it on autopilot until the worse has passed — if it ever does. Until the dreaded game is over and you're either granted asylum for a handful of days or there's a hole burned through your skull. You wish you could sugarcoat the truth like you used to. Ease your heart. Soothe your soul. Tell yourself it'll be okay.

But it's not okay; and you've come to realize lying to yourself is a waste of time.

Everything fucking sucks.

The brightly lit arenas, the frantic newcomers, the predatory veterans. Those sadistic "games" that are probably no more than trivial entertainment for whoever created this hellscape. There's nothing easy or okay about this place and griping about it won't change that. This is how things are now.

It's a truth you wish you could've accepted sooner. Maybe then you wouldn't have wasted all eight days of your visa wallowing in self-pity. Holed up in some rundown motel that had already been stripped of any food or luxury items. It's a silly thing to think about now. But not even having, at the very least, a blanket, almost broke you that second night. Faster than any of the three games you'd had the misfortune of playing thus far had been able to.

It took about a day for the initial shock to wear off. And a few hours more for the events of the two of clubs game to fully make their way to the forefront of your brain and fester. But once they did? Well, not having that blanket was just about your last fucking straw. The cold that seeped its way into your skin that night was nothing compared to the realization that any trace of your old world was gone. For good. No more blankets, no more lazy Sunday mornings, no more calculus tests or history papers. No more normalcy or comfort. Just empty rooms with water-damaged ceilings and a guilt that clings to your skin like the air of a humid July night.

You've contemplated not even trying to find a next game and just riding out your visa until inevitable more than you're proud to admit. The lasers would find you eventually, you're not sure how, but they would. Just like they found anyone else fortunate enough to escape this world. You were alone now, so what did it even matter? Nothing and no one were keeping you here anymore, you'd certainly made sure of that. 

But the urge to survive has proven to be quite the pest. And, eventually, you learned to be alone. Even find comfort in it. At least you think you did.

You learned how to salvage the remnants of who you used to be and find use for them in who you are now. Learned to live as someone you barely recognize and convince yourself that's who you've always been until it became true.

You learned to cope with the constant, lingering, feeling of dread in your gut by locking every dark and sinister thought inside a little safe stowed away in the deepest part of your mind. To swallow your fears and ignore the regret clawing at your insides long enough to get through whatever nightmarish excuse of a game awaits you just beyond the starting line. It's one of the only useful things he ever taught you. One of the only things you allowed yourself to keep of him. For the sheer reason of desperate survival alone; because that’s all it’s worth.

You leave your humble motel room two days before your visa actually expires. No sense in prolonging the inevitable. The thought of it alone is enough to send your mind spiraling once again, so better to just get it over with.

You pick the first arena that flickers to life in your vicinity for no other reason than you simply don't feel like walking any further. There's not much rhyme or reason as to which games appear where anyways. Just the luck of the draw.

The lights guide you to an old elementary school. It's eerily empty, just a skeleton of its former glory. Sloppy finger paintings and crayon-drawn art peel from the walls. Some of the overgrown vegetation has already made its way inside. Obscuring the rainbow-colored walls and cartoonish academic posters. Your eyes drift to one about hallway etiquette. "Be respectful of your peers" it reads. Ironic, considering the circumstances. You can't remember the last time since you entered this world anyone has been respectful to one another. In fact, they’re usually anything but.

Despite how trashed the front lobby is, most definitely being one of the first places to fall victim to looters, there's still a child-like innocence that lingers in the atmosphere. It doesn't take much to envision the patter of little footsteps sprinting down the halls. Soft giggles during recess. Protests from tireless children over nap time. You swear you can still hear the buzzing of a bustling cafeteria at lunch-time. Or maybe you've just finally gone insane. You wouldn't be surprised if it's the latter.

The table of phones sits centered at a T-intersection. Where the hallway splits from the front offices to rows of doors you assume are classrooms. The phones sit undisturbed, a little note instructing you to take one.

You count fourteen, for fourteen players. Of which you're the first.

[cartelheir]

Here's a question for you! Did the Borderlands cause Pat to pick up any new habits or behaviors/tics? Do they last or do they fade? What about did they make her LOSE any habits she had prior to her time there? Do they stay gone or does she pick them back up once they're back?

yes, she definitely picks up a few new habits! the most obvious ones are related to clothing, which we already kind of discussed. but even before she was introduced to the wonders of hoodies by chishiya, i think she was already changing a few habits. there's a huge possibility that pat got injured, or otherwise slowed down, at a game because she was wearing high heels and couldn't take them off in time when she needed to. after that, she switched to flats, boots, sneakers, or very short heels.

it was tough for her at first because her height is definitely an insecurity of hers, and she's been wearing heels regularly for a very long time. but it was just so much more comfortable and practical, not mentioning safe. and even after she returns home, she begins finding high heels incredibly uncomfortable to wear. she knows she could get used to it again if she just powers through it, but she prefers to keep them for a special occasion now.

beauty rituals in general are things she doesn't fully let go of, even in the borderlands she was doing her best to look nice, but she learned that there are times people will see you while you're not looking your absolute best and it's not the end of the world. so she becomes a little bit less high-maintenance. a little bit. she still gets neurotic often, but she's learning to accept a more comfortable version of herself, and that she deserves to prioritize her comfort.

a frequent tic is how she'll still wake up early in the morning thinking shit my visa expires today! then she remembers. kinda like when you've been a grown-ass adult for years but you wake up worried you'll be late for school. but it makes her :( when she realizes there's no visa to worry about, because she lowkey misses those times.

as for habits she lost. pat grew up pretty rich, save for a few brief years of financial struggle after her dad died. for most of her life, she's had maids to do all her chores for her, to the point where she didn't worry about it or spared it a second thought. and in the borderlands she finds out that, shocking, if you don't clean up after yourself your space turns into a mess! pat isn't a neat freak, but she definitely can't stand to live in a place that's super messy and dirty.

she hates chores still, don't get me wrong. but she's more mindful of keeping things clean and tidy. will this stick with her? i feel like one month with a maid would have her right back to normal LMAO or maybe not completely, because she's making an actual effort to not make big messes anymore. and if she ever has to pick up the habit of cleaning, making her bed, doing chores, etc again, it'll be less torturous than it was the first time.

[planstransamanacanalpanema]

In my lifetime, I've been on a decent number of insulin pumps, starting with Animas, the Medtronic, then Tandem before switching to a new insurance company that didn't cover Tandem supplies. I saw the Omnipod offered a 30 day trial and figured, what the heck, and having lived with multiple systems with a lot of unique quirks, I thought I'd share the quirks of this system too.

Having been a tubed pump only person for the first 14 years of my diabetic life, I was a little hesitant with the Ombipod, and initially, I was blown away. The cannula insertion was easy, the cannula was about as comfortable as you'd expect any cannula to be, and despite being a fairly large piece of tech taped directly to your skin, I didn't feel like it got in the way. I did enjoy not having to worry about tubing getting stuck in things, or finding a pocket to shove the pump into or a waistband to clip it to. For anyone who struggles with these aspects of the pump life, this pump may do pretty awesome things for you.

However, these were really the only positive sentiments i had towards the system, probably because I'd lived so long with tubed systems, they never bothered me like they do some people. Those annoying little quirks though really turned me off to it.

For starters, you cannot control the pod without a phone or the Personal Diabetes Manager (PDM) they send you. If you forget the pdm, or if you wish to escape from your phone for a bit, you will have no control over your blood sugar. I realized this once after going to work and realizing I'd left the pdm at home. I had my phone though, and hoped I could switch control from the pdm to my phone, in the same way that with the dexcom you can get readings and manage the system, but no such luck. Once you start the pod on one device, you are stuck with that one device for the 2 to 3 days you have the pod inserted.

The pods themselves cause a number of problems as well. There is no way to recycle them, as they are medical waste, meaning every 2 to 3 days, you have to trash a small computer. That might not be a big deal to you, and absolutely no shame if it isn't, but for me it felt incredibly wasteful. The comfort I'd experience in my first days didn't let long either. If you've ever dropped a tubed insulin pump and had your infusion site catch it, you'll know these jarring movements can be pretty painful. The pod isn't quite that bad at first, but after a few days with a wrench directly attached to your site, I did find myself hurting pretty badly. Also, if your pod fails for any reason, it will s c r e a m. It'll produce an extremely loud, high pitched, and continuous beep until you can get onto your phone or pdm and deactivate it, and for the life of me, no matter how quickly you can get that to turn off, it still takes too long. Your results will also vary, particularly if you feel less strongly about the cleanliness of your insulin, but once the pod expires, which is a maximum of 3 days plus 8 hours where it beeps hourly, there is no good way to salvage that insulin. Yes, you can draw the insulin back up from the port you put it in, but once that's in your new pod, if it starts to seem infected, you'll lose that insulin and the pod when you remove it.

Compared to the tandem, I did actually really enjoy the site tracking feature. When you insert a new pod, it gives you the option to track where you've placed it in a limited number of spaces, including the back abdomen (typically known as your back, but ok), and directly on your ass cheek. If you can handle the omnipod, or really any infusion site in your ass cheek, you are far, far braver than me. On the other hand, I desperately missed the calculator feature on the tandem that allowed you to add up the cards you were eating.

As for the app, it does its job, but still has these quirks that drove me a bit nuts. You can't turn off the security feature. Whether you use your phone or the pdm, you'll always have to enter a pin to be able to do anything. This could definitely be a problem if you have neuropathy or other dexterity issues, and even as someone without these issues, I still got pretty annoyed with it. This also presents a problem when you're trying to get the screaming to stop. I didn't love that in my furious effort to get this overwhelming noise to stop, I was impeded by a fucking pin. It also made the lack of calculator kind of annoying, because if you needed to use your calculator to total your carb count, you had to exit out of the app, do your calculations, and then throw in your pin all while not forgetting the number you just came up with.

I also struggled a bit with picking sites with this pump. My abdomen is relatively unusable as a pump site after nearly 2 decades of pump therapy, so I usually use it for a cgm site and then will place my infusion site elsewhere. However, because the omnipod doesn't have an intermediary between it and the cgm, it has to stay "within line of site" of the cgm. So, if the pod is on the back of your arm, your cgm can be on your flank, or on your leg, but not on your abdomen because they're on opposite sides of your body, and even though I got it to work on the opposite arm, even that isn't recommended. So, wherever your cgm is for 10 days, all your sites have to revolve around that one spot through multiple changes. The small upside though is that, even though you can't bolus without a pdm or phone, the pod can still read your cgm and increase or decrease your basal rate based on your blood sugar. However, these treatments for high blood sugar in particular are painfully slow because as compared to other systems, the omnipod can change your basal rates but it can't offer you even small boluses, unlike tandem or medtronic.

That said, everyone with diabetes is different, and I know this system has been a godsend for a lot of people, just not me. While I can't say I'd recommend it broadly, I've definitely met some people who I think would have loved this system. Regardless, I hope this helps, and may the A1C or Time in Range, depending on which one your doctor still uses, smile upon you.

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

Not much a Headcanon but a post about: What the Alternate Ending route, MMZ Connected Eternity, will consist of

Since I just got a comment on my recent post/chapter regarding if X and Zero's love child would survive to the MMZero era, it got me thinking I should briefly talk about it. Plus for the fact, I haven't really talked too much about Connected Eternity ever since I started making art for it. So You'll finally get to see what I have in mind for this portion of the AU~.

I do wanna touch up on it as its own mini fic at some point, so I'll try not to spoil too much.

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3

But basically, the route is just called "MMZ" not an abbreviation of "Megaman Zero". Just literally "Megaman Z". I kinda wanted that since, yes, this part of the AU does still focus more on Zero, but it still involves the darker story and Xev is way more involved like he should be, in my honest opinion.

I'll disclaim that I do appreciate Megaman Zero for what it is, I just prefer the X series more. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to demote it and point out the problems I had with it. Especially since some of my friends have heard it multiple times already and I don't need to personally beat a dead horse with how much I talked about it. So I'll just get to what I wanna add and if I'll add in a comment on something I don't like, it'll be more for trying to make sense of the purposes for movement, meaning of depth, or what just makes the most sense in general to me.

So basically, the story just consists of Elpizo Germain and rising into power. He's the one promises of a peaceful utopia, but in a way more twisted and sick point of view. I'll touch up on his backstory when I get to it, but to put it simply, his mind develops a very warped perception/reality of what peace really means. Especially when it comes to humans.

Basically, he looks down on them very lowly, and wants to kill the "useless" ones, along with any reploids that aren't just maverick, but also "useless". Pretty much, again, his own messed up view of a "perfect" world. Much like how Lumine saw it before things calmed down, but still on a much larger and very messed up and legit insane scale.

Of course, with the power he gains (dunno how that will be handled yet), he instills fear into the inhabitants of their continent of the Ageless Dominion.

This is all happening when Zero goes to sleep, and makes that decision to do so on his own instead of X doing so with him. I'll have to touch upon that briefly, so there's a time choice that affects X and Zero's future. If they sleep in a pod together to help get rid of Zero's virus, they won't be sleeping for 100 years. They'll be sleeping for less than ten. Once they wake up, all their friends are waiting for them and they have a peaceful time together. They obtain Cain's old house, get married, Zero maintains repairs to the ruins of Abel City and make it as prestigious as it once was before Sigma's initial start of his rebellion (pretty much after Day of Sigma Arc), while X officially retires so he can become an artist, but will help if Zero needs any assistance, and of course, they have a child. Although previous events may suggest something more to the latter of everything previously mentioned. But I won't spoil that~.

Anyway, if Zero insists on sleeping alone in his pod, leaving X to fight with everyone else, he sleeps for the 100 year period, and doesn't wake up again until that time has expired. He finds X is dead, but roams as a Cyber Elf, and only a select few of his friends are still alive after Elpizo's eventual deadly purge plagues the world all because of his impatience to get rid of the ones who he thinks are the most "useless". Maybe I can find a term for that that he can use for it, but I'll have to think about it.

Anyway, upon waking up, Zero realizes what's going on and pretty much everyone is upset he left them all behind, but mainly because he left X behind and it's left him distraught yet determined, and the latter got him killed. But after seeing how X isn't really all that mad with him, just happy Zero's back, they get to spend time together a little bit while Zero reconciles with his poor decision and wants to make it right.

And from then on, it's a struggle with war against the now all powerful Emperor Elpizo Germain and regaining the continent back from his clutches.

Now, I'll get into what won't be in the AU, what will stay, what will be added, and what I'm still stuck on and if those aforementioned things will work story wise.

Copy X and Dr Weil will NOT exist in the AU. I feel Copy X will be a bit redundant for what I want accomplished, and Dr Weil just doesn't fit, and I don't vibe with him as much as I do Dr Wily.

Cyber Elves will still exist, as well as the Reploid's God of Creation named Xiddall. They are the god I wanted implemented. They aren't created by man, but of data of the good wishes of Reploids within Cyberspace.

I'm still unsure about the four guardians being in it. At worst, they may not exist at all or at least make a small cameo and never be seen again. I do love the guardians, but idk what purpose they'll serve for this portion of the AU. Unless after X dies, and his soul not only gets heavy with all his love and memories of Zero, but also his soul gets broken and split into four, and thus, results in the four guardians!! Okay, so I just answered my own question on how I'll handle the guardians now lmao.

As for Elpizo, well… he's the main villain of the story. Period. No other ones take his place. I just feel he would make it all difficult for our protagonists and other characters that made it throughout the Crimpphire main story. Maybe Dr Weil will at least make a cameo and try to take Elpizo's throne, but that's about it. He won't get very far with how much he wants to achieve his goal of "perfection".

Anyway, that's pretty much the summary of what Connected Eternity would consist of, and it serves as the darker alternate route opposed to the canon good ending of Code: Crimpphire.

Hope y'all enjoyed my rambling lmao.

[jonathanrook]

i keep having this problem where, if i buy half a gallon of milk it'll expire before i can use it all, but if i buy a pint i use it all up immediately. i think i realized that the solution is just. make fudge every time my milk is starting to approach the expiration date.

[missguomeiyun]

Homecooking [Feb ed]

Conclusion to a leap yr February~

A bit of everything noodle soup in chicken broth + some fish sauce lol Lunar New Yr happened mid-Feb & there was just a lot of things in the fridge for most of the month so I threw all the leftovers in here. For carb, I have cheese-ddeok (cheese-filled cylinder rice cakes) & rice noodles. For veggies, I have leftover stir-fried carrot & king oyster mushrooms & bokchoy. I have 2 kinds of seaweed: the soup kind & the dried kind sprinkled on top. Protein was fish cakes.

Coffee of the month~

Gifted from a coworker-friend. This was MUCH better than the maple hazelnut one.

Again, dinner consisting of leftover items from new years. Bokchoy, white beech mushrooms, air fried chicken & thin noodles. I used black peppercorn sauce & some preserved olive vegetable for flavouring.

Yeah. .. more random stuff put on a plate LOL. Here, I've got japchae pancake, chicken breast, egg, lettuce with garlic sauce, & . .. yeah you guessed right- pasta!

It was pasta take-out from Chianti's pasta frenzy special ($13.99 pastas on Mon-Tues). This was the Diabloe pasta, which has spinach fettuccine, diced chicken, red pepper, & artichoke in a cream pesto sauce.

Okay, let's move away from the leftover foods xD I've got a normal/freshly cooked noodle soup here with bokchoy, kimchi & fried egg.

I ate a lot of kimchi this month bcos I didn't realize it had already expired in Dec?! So I was in sort of a rush to finish it. I don't think it'll rot of anything though hmm.. .bcos it's fermented & kept in fridge. If anything, it'll ferment more, right?

Bokchoy & Busan fish cakes with rice noodles.

Bibimmyeon = spicy cold noodles. The noodles are from the 10-pack product from Hmart that doesn't have any seasoning or sauce. I mixed the sauce myself: fire chicken sauce, gochu powder (Korean chili pepper powder), white vinegar, sugar, & random sesame + seaweed pack that I found.

We had a week where it was literally like spring (which of course, wa followed by a few days of heavy snowfall).

SNACK TIME~

Korean onion rings.

K I've never tried this before .. but so good! I'm not a salty + sweet fan but the salted crackers in this was only very slightly salty so it was okay. My fav part was the chocolate filling. Not too sweet. . had dark chocolate vibes. Usually these chocolate filling snacks are so sweet but this wasn't.

Opens like a Kleenex box haha

"Smile package"

For improvement: better spreading of the filling.

Alrighty; that is it for now~ BYE!

(I have a short post bcos I separated several into its own post as they should have its own post lol so more to come from 'Feb' but will likely be posted from now until April :P )

[talaxyan]

hello from 2023

hiiiiiii

it's so funny to think that all the posts from this tumblr are all just for me in the future but I hope it's gonna be another good reflection to see what I was like in the past.

but let me give you a little update since the last time I was here ((THERE WERE A LOT!!!))

ok first of all. im unemployed now, I graduated college 4 months ago and still haven't been able to land a job- I'm on my last round of interview for this pharmaceuticals company tho and I REALLY HOPE I GET THE JOB BECAUSE IM DESPERATEEEE. if I don't get an offer soon my OPT might expires meaning it'll be harder for me to escape indo.

as much as i love being at home and spending most days with my nieces and having no worry at all, I miss doing something intelligent like doing all the academic weapon I was supposed to be doing. it was hard landing a job yall, I swear I've applied to at least 400+ job but still 0 offer. IM REALLY HOPING THIS PHARMA JOB WORKS OUT I REALLY WANNA GO BACKKKKKK I wanna live in city I can wander around please

anyway, on the fun part ((my nonexistant love life))

in 2022, i went for a semester abroad in LONDON AND IT WAS WILDDDDD like really good experience and I love london so much I wish to go back there again and visiting my london fam innit- it was surprising really good like i had a solid friendgroup in just a month of settling down (shout out to SHAIMA LOVE U SO MUCH GURL) i went travelling to edinburg and Stonehenge. it was a surreal experience.

oh and i was on dating apps while in London and I got the taste of love (a little bit). my first ever date was really good, i'd give it 7/10 I wasn't that attracted to this dude but he was smart and caring at least before he became annoying and called me a self-obsessed girl- like dude HOW CANT I BE OBSESSED OVER MYSELFF? anyway I didn't continue talking to him because I really thought I should give an ugly guy a chance just bc he seems nice personally but he really wasn't so I went to 7 more dates after that--- ND I GOT MY FIRST EVER KISS??? LIKE HELLO? this dude I kissed, we met on tinder and I went to his place the night I first saw him and I gave him a glockglock3000 it was crazy-- but after that night I learnt why people like dick- and he got a pretty one too and it tasted sweet?????? maybe from the lube he was using but we didn't do the full thing cuz I was kinda hesitant cuz I BARELY KNOW HIM OFC??? but yea I learnt some things but my experience with men in general wasn't really working out bc ALL I WANT IS LOVE and it seems like u cant really find that on dating app.

other than that, i cut off some people from my life. it was sad but I think its about time. this girl I really wanted to befriend with since freshman year, we ended became bestie and even lived together in the apartment, but I think it was really toxic tbh- it think the more I knew people, the more I feel like I withdrew myself form them.thats kinda scared me because I really wanted to accept people the way they are but it was really not good having her around- for some reason in social settings, everytime I spent time wth her, it just irritaes me more and that made me realize that friendship wasn't supposed to be like that, it shouldn't cost you your mental health to be living with your friend so yeah, after graduation, I never contacted her and she also never contact me either so it's mutual I think

my time at skidmore was overall fun, I went to typical college parties, got drunk and wasted but it was all really fun. i love my girl friends my bbygurl I love them so much and they made my time at skidmore 100000x so much better. i would be a lot more miserable if it wasn't because of them. there was rough patches along the way but we are good friends so I was able to let go everything and keep our friendship eventho now w graduated and harder to see each other but I really hope to meet them again<3 I love them thao kim connie rebecca and my isu babies<3

my plan now is hoping i land that job in Boston > lease an apartment > fly from jakarta and meet natan > relocate to Boston and get my stuff at Uhaul in Albany > starting working and getting the sense of really world > SAVE A LOT OF MONEY SO I CAN SPOIL MY LOVED ONES AND MYSELF

i think i can do it. delusion is the key and I quite frankly believe in myself. i really hope so I wish.

so yeah, thats mostly the update from me. hopefully in the next post I can give you a better news and more GOOD STORY FROM MY LOVE LIFE yea. ok goodbye for now and I see u later

[townofcadence]

"The wrong place?" He asked, watching the Neophytos beeline for the motor oil on the desk. The energy Neophytos did everything with reminded him of being younger and excited over every new thing he'd find. He had to wonder how old this guy was. Or maybe just how much experience he had, really. But it was kind of refreshing, talking like this. "Do you know where the right one is? And what kind of precious things are you looking for? Maybe I can help you find some." Especially if precious treasure translated into anything like the bottle currently in his hand.

That said, he offered a hand. "May I?" He nodded once, towards the bottle, and flipped it over to read the back once it was in his hand. A beat passed, and he waved it, hearing a faint slosh inside. "So. This is motor oil. It's used a lot for things like machines, and different kinds do different things. This one is for cars-- you put this inside the engine, to keep it cooler and the metal from eroding and like--- to make sure everything stays lubricated. If you don't keep your oil filled or change it sometimes, your car can stall or have friction and eat and the engine can seize. And that can sometimes turn engines into paper-weights." He'd seen that a few times before in his life, when someone didn't realize changing the oil was......really important, or existed.

Artair passed the bottle back to Neophytos. "I don't know how helpful it'll be for your daggers there, but it isn't super harmful, unless you drink it or let it sit on your skin too long. The skin dries out and isn't great but definitely avoid drinking it. That would be--- super duper bad. But yeah, if your daggers are made of regular metals like iron and stuff, it shouldn't do anything to them, as far as I know. But nothing really beneficial about it, either." He shrugs, offering a small smile. "You should be good to go-- and if that's in the vein of stuff you're looking for, I can tell you that stuff never expires, unless it's hit with a bunch of temperature fluctuations. So it should still be good at what it's supposed to do. With cars and stuff, I mean."

"Arthur..." The name seemed to roll off his metaphorical tongue easily, and Neophytos found himself quite excited to have met this new friend! How lovely, someone to show him around!

Bouncing in place, he allowed his hand to return to his side only to clasp it with the other. "Well, Arthur, I have no idea what I'm doing here!" It was an easy answer to the question, honestly. He did have no idea, but he had a hunch. "I believe I am here to find important things. Precious things!"

Precious things for Maüka, not him, obviously. A job he took seriously -- but often forgot it to have fun and explore his surroundings.

"But it appears I'm in... The wrong place...?" His head swirled to take glances at the room he had stayed in for a brief time. "I was unable to find anything important... Except for a weird bottle of oil." And as such, he crossed the room to retrieve the bottle from the desk with several metallic rectangular things. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't read the label. But perhaps this new friend could?

So he brought it closer to Arthur for him to take a look. "See? This thing. I do not know what kind of oil it is! I thought it'd be good for my daggers, so I coated them with it."

And possibly damaged them, past the point of repair. He didn't know if that was a chance, so he'd like for someone to check them out. If that was the case, he'd be so disappointed in himself for ruining a good pair of blades.

[bodyswapmischief]

Andrew sat on the couch looking at his phone. He browsed through his feed, when suddenly he felt his dick become erect. Which wasn't strange for your average 23 year old man.

Andrew looked up and saw his friend Andy on the otherside of the room. So, he just ignored his boner. He couldn't just whip out and jack off infront of his friend. Besides, ignoring his hard 2 inch boner wasn't a hard thing to do.

Moments passed and the pain began to get harder to ignore. Without looking, he tried to get into a comfortable position. That's when he felt something warm and long press against his leg.

It caught him off guard and he jump a bit. The swift movement caused his pants to tightly squeeze his dick and he moaned in pain.

Finally, Andrew looked down and saw what was going on. His heart raced, as he pushed a snake like bulge in his pants going down his leg. With each poke, he moan out in pleasure. Finally, it was confirmed in his mind; his dick had become a thick 8 inch monster.

Instinctively, he placed a pillow over his new giant buldge. He looked over at his friend who seemed oblivious. Without making a scene, he tried ot get up. But, the pant fabric painfully squeezed his dick and balls. He yelp in pain and, quickly, sat back down.

Andy started walking towards Andrew. A smile was on his face. "So, it's finally kicking in." Andy said as he looked at Andrew's crotch. Andy started unzipping his pants.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" Andrew shouted. But before he could look away, he saw a familiar sight hanging from his friends body. There was no mistake. Andrew's small dick was now attached to his friends body. "You might as well take off your pants. It not like I haven't seen my own dick before." Andy said.

Then it hit Andrew. The bulge in his pants was similar to the few times he caught Andy with a boner. He sighed to get over the awkwardness and whipped it out. Revealing a dick he only saw the outlines of, through shorts. As it stood erect, he was happy to be free from the pain created from his tight pants.

"What the fuck is going on" Andrew said puzzled.

"I'm giving you my dick for the day. After you told me you haven't had sex because you're embarrassed of your dick size, I knew I had to help out my bro." Andy answered.

"What! This is fucking crazy. You probably should just undo whatever you did..." Andrew begin to worry.

"Dude, relax! Come on. I've been pretending to be you on multiple dating apps and I set up a day of sex for you. Who knows, if this goes well maybe I'll let you borrow my dick again.

"I don't know. This all seems to weird." Andrew said, still questioning everything.

"Stopping doing that! Stop and just enjoy it. Most guys would be thrilled to magically have an 8 in cock placed between their legs. Come on, this will give you the confidence boost I know you need."

"Yeah, I know your right. I'm actually kind of grateful and surprised you care this much... But, I haven't had sex. I don't know how to use this." Andrew said grabbing his new junk.

"Then fuck me bro. You know I've had a crush on you. Now, I can live my fantasy of you fucking me. Think of it as a payment for letting you borrow my dick," Andy saw the hesitation in Andrew's face. "Look, I know your straight. But don't think of it like that. Your using my own dick to fuck me. There's nothing gay about that right!? Besides it'll give you the practice you need for all the sex you'll have today."

Andy bent over to reveal his tight asshole. Andrew's new 8 inch dick got hard. Everything about this situation scream wrong. But, he knew he couldn't let an opportunity like this pass. He wanted to finally expirence sex. He'll just think of banging his buddy as a learning opportunity so, he be able to please all those ladies booked up.

Andrew drew in a deep breath and let his instincts take over. He walked over to Andy. "Can I put it in?" He asked.

"Dude look at me I'm ready to receive. You don't have to ask." Andy said annoyed .

Andrew slowly put his dick in his friends ass. They both gasp in pleasure. Finally all 8 inches squeeze into Andy's ass. "Okay, I'm in. Are you okay does it feel good." Andrew ask.

"Fuck yeah dude. Now pull it out a bit and stick it back in. And that's basically fucking." Andy responded. Slowly Andrew pulled out and and even slower he pushed it back in.

"Hold on dude." Andy sighs. "What! Is something wrong. Am I hurting you." Andrew ask. "No bro, your going so slowly. Pick up the speed."

Andrew start going a bit faster, in and out. Andy started moaning in pleasure. "There you go. Uh... uh... fuck ...yes keep going."

Andrew loved the feeling as his dick sled against the walls of his friends asshole. He started feeling this new power deep in his body grow. He felt more confident with each thrust. And; with that increase in confidence, he was becoming more aggressive. "Fuck yeah, take it bitch." He yelled out as he picked up speed, going faster and faster. He began letting out loud raoring moans.

"Ugh.. uh ...uh... uh slow ....uh down." Andy moaned out. "No bitch, you're fucking taking it." Andrew shouted back. They both scream out in an orgasmic climax as Andrew's dick released a full load of cum into Andy's ass.

Andrew quickly whipped out his dick from Andy's ass, causing Andy to yell out. As soon as all 8 inches were out, Andrew tossed Andy to the side like a used toy. Andrew began staring at himself in the mirror. Flexing and playing with the monster of a dick between his legs.

Andy was left on the bed catching his breath. He looked at Andrew, checking himself out. He was happy to see Andrew enjoying himself. But with each passing second, he felt more insecure of having his naked body exposed on the bed. He look at Andrew and was intimidated by there new cock size differences. He quickly began covering himself up.

At this point Andy knew something was wrong with the spell. He want to recommend swapping their cock sizes back to normal but he was worried how Andrew would respond. He didn't want to make his friend angry.

Before, Andy could stir up the last shreds of confidence left in his body. Andrew started getting dressed. "Thanks bro, I'm gonna fuck the shit out of these bitches. Oh and I don't know how you did this but yeah, I think we both agree that this should be permanent now, don't we."

Andy could clearly feel that both of their personalities were changing. He looked at the new strength Andrew's already strong body had seemed to gain. He seemed more manly and more attractive. Andy was beyond intimidated. In fact his small 2 iches was starting to get hard again.

Andrew stood aggressively staring at Andy, waiting for a response. His python hanging out in the open. Andy was starting to feel afraid of what Andrew would do if he said no. So, Andrew just nodded his head in agreement.

"Good, I liked that answer." Andrew responded. "I think you just earned a round two, after I come back from fucking all these sluts you lined up for me. It feel like this dick still wants to be a part of you . But, it doesn't seem to mind that the only way that going happen now is by being shoved in your ass."

As Andrew left, Andy tried to fight these new feelings that were flooding his mind. He ran to his room to see where the spell went wrong. And, his heart sank as he realized he failed to read the full spell.

Note: If the two affected by the spell commit intercourse their personalities will change depending on the roles they played in said intercorse. Also, as long as the spell last they will be bonded by sexual interest with each other.

Andy realized what he did. By helping Andrew and guiding him what to do. Andy turned Andrew into a dominant, aggressive, sexual beast. He on the other hand had become submissive and caring to Andrew's every need.

Even now with the spell infront of him, he couldn't get himself to recite the reversal spell. It would go against the helpful, submissive, caring attitude towards Andrew that he now felt and acted out during sex with him.

In fact having this spell around was just a threat to Andrew's new happiness. So, Andy tore it up and flushed it down the toilet. The last piece of who he used to be screamed out in horror.

He looked around the apartment. He knew it would be to messy for his Andrew. He need to make sure his Andrew was happy and pleased when he got back home. And, after all that sex he was gonna do, his Andrew was going need some nourishment when he got back home.

As Andy cooked and clean, he could only smile thinking about how happy he was going to make his Andrew. Being a cum dump for him wouldn't be so bad. Yeah, it sucked, that he had to share his Andrew with a constant parade of sluts. But, what would one expect being in a relationship with a man as attractive and manly as his Andrew. And, at the end of they day, Andy knew his man would always come home. After all, his Andrew couldn't resist his nice ass. It was a weird relationship but, it worked for them.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #961: Traumatic Nightmare.....(King of Fighters)

××××× at an Unknown Laboratory........

Krohnen: (Slowly Starts Waking Up) Ugh.....What time is-(Felt the Tightened, Yet Unresponsive Movements if Both his Arns and Legs) What the- (

Krohnen tries as hard as he can to move his body with very little prevail. It wasn't long for him realizes that four metal contraptions are holding onto both his arms and legs tightly before viciously trying to break himself out of them.

Krohnen: The Fuck! Is going! ON HERE!?

????: I wouldn't try breaking free if I were you, Krohnen. (Walks Into the Spotlighted Area While Wearing a Lab Coat) Or should I say......(Pushes his Glasses Up to his Face) Test Subject: K9999.

Krohnen: (Eyes Widened of the Sound of his Former Named Being Called Out Before Glaring Harshly at the Lab Coat Wearing Scientist) Who the hell are you?

Scientist: My name and personal information are irrelevant at the very moment. What is relevant however is your cowardice betrayal of N.E.S.T.s.....And the consequences you will soon receive for it.

Krohnen: ('Groans in Utter Annoyance') Of all the goddamn....Listen, asshat. I don't know what you're expecting from all of this, but if you think for a second that I'm gonna come crawling back to that hell hole of a organization, then you have another fucking thing coming cause you can forget it!

Scientist: ('Tch') Please. Do you really think we have any use for defective failures such as of yourselves?

Krohnen: Failures- Wait......(Eyes Suddenly Begins to Widens Once He Realizes Something) Angel......W-Where's Angel? W-What the hell did you do to her!?

Scientist: Nothing in particular yet. She's in the other room, about to receive the similar kind of punishment you will be receiving in the moment. And I believe it'll start right about....(Looks Down at his Watch) Now.

As the sound of electricity begins to echo from the other side of the room, Krohnen eyes begins to widens in horror as he hears a sharp, loud scream of pain and anguish. The source of the scream comes from none other then......

Krohnen: Angel....(Tears Slowly Begins to Begins to Build Up From his Eyes) A-Angel.....(Growls in Complete Utter Anger as He Furious Tries His Absolute Hardest To Get Himself Out of the Contraptions While Screaming Out....) ANGELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Scientist: Hm. It seems I already struck a nerve. How predictable.

Krohnen: YOU SICK BASTARD!! LET ME OUT! STOP HURTING HER!!!

Scientist: Oh? (Turns to Krohnen With a Cold Look on his Face) And why do you think we should do that exactly?

Krohnen: BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS CRAP!! She only wanted to live the best live that she could ever hope for! And you're literally taking all of that away from her all because your CRAZY, BACKWARDS BULLSH-

Unfortunately without any warning or hesitation, Krohnen suddenly gets electrocuted by the tight metal contraptions from the whole body down, to the point where he starts screaming his lungs out in pain. The process only lasted a couple of seconds before the subject in question begins to pant and regain his composer, or the little he has left.

Scientist: ('Sigh') Honestly....How the higher ups of the organization decided not to dispose of you sooner is beyond me. You're a failure in every shape in form.

Krohnen: (Weakly Mutters) F-F-Fuck......you.........

Scientist: But I suppose if you want something done....(Uses a Remote to Active a Few Sharp Blades to Slowly Approach Their Way Down to Krohnen) You do it yourself.

Krohnen: (Immediately Becomes Powerless and Fearful For his Life) No...N-No....Y-You can't..........A-Anything but this.....

Scientist: Apologies in advance. But I believe your freedom has long been expired. And your time of punishment....Has now begun.

Krohnen: No! NO! Please.....S-S-Stop this!.....LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOOONE!

.................................................................

Krohnen: (Immediately Wakes Up From his Nightmare of a Dream) AHH!

As Krohnen starts panting and quickly uses his hands examines the upper part of his body, he looks around the motel room Angel and him are sleeping in for the night and turns on the lamp beside him as he place his hand on top of his forehead, relieved that it was nothing more than horrible nightmare.

Krohnen: ('Sighs Heavily') Goddamnit......

????: Krohnen?

Krohnen turns to see Angel is looking at him with a very worried look on her face.

Angel: What's wrong? Is everything okay?

Krohnen: It's nothing, Angel. It was just some dumb dream is all....N-Nothing to it.

Angel: Really? If it's dumb, them why are you crying?

Krohnen: (Notices Tears Starting to Form on his Eyes Begins Turning Towards his Girlfriend Beside Him) Oh? T-That?...('Scoffs') Please. I....I...('Sniff') I-I-I-I......(Shakingly Looks Down at the Bed as He Finally Begins to Cry While Covering his Face)

Angel: (Heart Begins to Break at the Sight of her Partner Breaking Down) Oh Krohnen. (Gently Pulls Krohnen into a Loving Hug) ('Shh Shh Shh') There, there. It's okay. I'm right here.

Krohnen: A-Angel.....('Sniff') P-Please....('Sniff') Please don't leave me......

Angel: I could never ever leave you behind, caríno. (Tears Starts to Fall Down From her Eyes as Well) Not in a billion or trillion years!

Krohnen: (Chuckles Lightly) Damnit, Babe. ('Sniff') We'd be long dead in those years.....

Angel: (Gives Krohnen a Soft Pouty Look) ('Sniff') Yeah, well....('Sniff') As long as we die together, then so be it! ('Sniff')

Krohnen: ('Sniff') Man, you're weird.....

Angel: So are you! ('Sniff') Weirdo!~

Krohnen: ('Sigh') Whatever. Just.....('Sniff') Don't let go, okay?

Angel: Hey. Didn't I just said that I wouldn't leave you?

Krohnen: Yeah, but-

Angel: But nothing. I'm not gonna let you go back to sleep while you're still hurting. I wanna help.

Krohnen: ('Sigh') I know, I know. I just.....(Takes a Deep Breath as He Hugs Angel Back) Really appreciate having you in my life right now.....

Angel: (Smiles Softly) I know you do, cookie. My life would be so sad and boring if you're not here to live it with me.

Krohnen: ('Heh') Please. You'll live just fine.

Angel: (Pouts at Krohnen Again) I mean itttt!~ Meeting you for the first time was the best moment of my life and I never ever wanted it to change.

Krohnen: ('Sigh') Yeah.....Angel. I love you. ('Snif') I love you so much.

Angel: (Gives Krohnen a Loving Kiss on the Forehead) I love you too, Krohnen McDougall. ahora...... y para siempre mas.

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