#or it could have been an issue when they first started getting made?

[wonysugar]

don’t modify | jang wonyoung

♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ. everyone adores you (at least i do) — matt maltese

synopsis : everyone knew jang wonyoung had standards, but you were afraid you didn’t meet them like she initially expected you to.

pairing : stuco!wonyoung x gf!femreader

genre : smut, it’s kinda sweet i think

tags : wlw, hurt/comfort(?), fem!reader starts doubting herself, self-esteem issues, yn overthinks everythingg, YN YOU’RE GIRLFRIEND ENOUGH, <//3, couplez are very present haiii, i care them so much, jiwon is stewpid (affectionate), and rei lives for it, LESBIANS, worried gf wony, she loves yn guys, GUYS, now onto the sex, semi-public sex, so risky sex, ooouh scandalous, fingerfucking, making out, LOTS of it, kinda body worship, clit play

warnings : this fic contains self-esteem issues and lack of confidence, be warned :]

word count : 4,8k

a/n : heyyy… DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THATTT I’VE BEEN BUSY💔💔i’m trying to work on as many fics as i possibly can when i have free time, this is one of them<//3 i hope you like it, i personally don’t know to feel about it butfkdmfm yeah

i also kinda didn’t proofread this; it’s almost 2 am as i’m typing this out and i’m EXHAUSTED,,, if you see mistakes of any kind just please ignore,, for my sake

man, student council really was no joke.

sitting at the same table as your girlfriend, wonyoung, and her peers, you could feel the undeniable tension in the air. 

this was originally gonna be a double date, but it very quickly turned into a last-minute student council meeting, for some unknown reason. you weren’t part of said council, therefore had no clue what the hell they were on about this entire time. all this talk about budget, organized events, it all made you dizzy. the only thing that was keeping you somewhat calm was wonyoung’s warm presence and the slow jazz music that was quietly playing from the vintage jukebox, the one sitting in a corner of the place. 

you accompanied your girlfriend thinking this was going to be a cute opportunity to meet the two other girls! yknow, knowing that they seemed to be very close friends of your girlfriend’s, you figured it would’ve been nice to get to know them but it now just mostly feels like you infiltrated a top secret reunion that no one else could know about. 

and the funny thing? you were already somewhat nervous to meet other student council members in the first place, and this wasn’t helping. now, it’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but the first time that you met your significant other… yeah, you were mostly intimidated by her beauty and maturity, but also by her status in the school. it’s almost like you felt bad about crushing on somebody as influential on campus, let alone eventually dating her. so, i guess you could say meeting anybody equally as important as her fellow stuco members was something that made you rather anxious; what if they thought of you as clumsy? dumb? or even worse, not good enough for their president, their best friend?

quickly interrupting your train of incredibly messy thought, the blonde girl, whose name you don’t quite remember, spoke up. 

“nevermind any of that! we came here, on a week-end, with the intention to relax, to have fun and to finally take a breather from everything stressful that’s been going on in our lives, and what did we end up doing? talking about the school’s budget, like we always do. seriously guys?” she watched how the two other girls averted their eyes, clearly guilty. 

she especially noticed how you seemed to be uncomfortably shifting in your seat whilst they were talking, so, giving you a subtle reassuring look, she added on.

“let’s leave it for when we’re at school and not in front of y/n, how’s that sound?”

the two other girls looked at each other, then you, and eventually nodded. just like that, the tension in the air disappeared, and you already felt calmer.

but not calm enough to be confident about meeting your girlfriend’s friends and actually enjoy this small get-together.

however, you couldn’t sit there and pretend that the silence that settled in between all of you wasn’t a comfortable one, especially with the way wonyoung’s hand rested on yours, it was a nice contrast to what was actively going on in your mind.

until it was brutally killed by the dramatic sigh that came from the familiar tall and bright haired girl’s mouth.

“well, i’m pretty damn hungry, aren’t you guys hungry? cause i sure am pretty fucking hungry!“

you internally laughed, acknowledging that she was naturally quite funny. you apparently weren’t the only one to think so, considering how that also earned a small giggle from the almost just as tall girl who you assumed was her girlfriend, since she was practically always looking at her with heart-shaped eyes, regardless of the situation; you could tell when a girl was whipped for another, and it was as clear as day. 

she was more than whipped for the blondie.

“you know jiwon, if you wanted to get up and go order, you could’ve just said that.” she said, smiling at the girl in question and looking stupidly in love. 

“well yeahh.. but it’s essential for everyone to know how famished i am at all times, darling; my hunger is everyone’s problem, i thought we knew this!” was what jiwon said back, her bright smile making the dimple on one of her red cheeks, her left one, even more prominent than usual, since it’s quite literally always visible. that earned a playful eye roll from the other girl as she continued giggling. 

the pet name helped confirm your theory that those two were a thing.

“you guys want anything?” she softly asked, quickly making sure.

“nope! we’ll get something later, thank you rei.” was what wonyoung responded before warmly looking at you, slightly tilting her head in a way that silently asked you if you felt like ordering. you politely declined by shaking your head, hand waving around as you’re doing so, for extra insistence.

after that, they stood up together and proceeded to walk towards the counter to order. their hands were grazing each other’s for a little moment as they talked, almost hesitant. that is, before jiwon gently grabbed the other girl’ hand and intertwined their fingers together, both now having acquired their place in line. smiling to yourself, you also particularly noticed how jiwon, her face now completely red, seemed to trip on literal air as she walked with the reason for that was giggling endlessly. 

man, what a match they were, you thought.

rei, if you remembered her name correctly, was soft spoken and careful with every little thing she said and did, her gentle tone offered some sort of contrast to jiwon’s, who on her part, was louder, more outgoing and spontaneous. being polar opposites, they complemented each other amazingly; from their behavior all the way down to their body language, it was impossible to miss how different yet similar they were.

it seemed as if wonyoung noticed you staring at them from a distance, so she assumed it would’ve been a good idea to give you a little bit of funny context. “can you believe they’re not dating yet?” she asked, looking at them with you.

“wait.. what? they aren’t?” you exclaimed, surprised at the almost unbelievable information your girlfriend just dropped on you. well there goes your theory, “are.. are you sure?”

amused, she shook her head, eyebrows raised, “mmhm.” she said, putting emphasis on the first m. “i swear at times it feels like i hear them gushing about the other way more than i see my own mom.”

you giggled, your eyes darted back and forth between her and the other girls, in disbelief. actually.. the more you looked at them, the more whatever wonyoung said seemed to be true; despite being this close and intimate with each other, there were signs of uncertainty, as if this was new for the both of them. like when jiwon seemed to avoid rei’s gaze whenever she spoke, or maybe even when rei seemed to blush at quite literally anything silly that came out of jiwon’s mouth, which was very often, by the way.

“crazy, i know.” she laughed, staring at the two with you. “i mean, they practically are by now, they’re just not aware of it themselves yet.”

okay yeah, you thought, nodding at your girlfriend, it made sense. 

they did look like a newlywed couple if they didn't know they were married, and that just made it all the more endearing to see, honestly. you were glad wonyoung was friends with such kind-hearted and genuine girls. 

that somehow contributed in bringing back that nerve-racking doubt you had ever since you stepped foot in here, however, and your amusement was once again quickly overshadowed by worry. see, those two seemed so happy with each other, despite not even dating, that it got you thinking about your and wonyoung’s relationship. 

rei and jiwon sort of reminded you of what you and your girlfriend were, way back before you started dating, back when she knew absolutely nothing about you and was instead curious regarding your person, intrigued.

you thought that maybe you didn’t end up exceeding her expectations like she initially believed you would, that you maybe weren’t as interesting of a girlfriend than she would’ve hoped, that she could do so much better than you. 

hell, maybe even the two friends you were staring at prior thought so.

you noticed how wonyoung stared at you with a focused expression, the one she always had on whilst she tried to comprehend something complex, whatever it was. many things elicited that reaction, sometimes it’d be an important yet contradictory school document, other times it’d be an attempt to read something that was written in one of the languages she’s not so familiar with, as rare as that was. 

right now though, she was probably trying to read you, a language she thought she was perfectly fluent in, yet was always met with a hard time understanding completely.

then, upon realizing that you were staring back at her, her eyes widened ever-so slightly and she gave you a warm smile. doing your best in not letting your insecurities spill through the cracks of your face, you smiled in return, as to not potentially worry her.

“we’re backk!” announced jiwon in a sing-song tone, quickly catching both you and wonyoung off-guard as she obnoxiously placed her tray down on the table, almost dropping it. rei’s, on the other hand, was set gently on the wooden surface whilst she carefully sat down on the seat, smiling to herself upon staring at the delicious looking food, completely disregarding the conversation happening right beside her. 

you nodded to yourself, that was truly respectable.

“already?..” asked the tall and brown haired girl in response, wearing a mischievous smirk girl at the blondie before continuing, “and here i thought that we were finally gonna have a break from you.” jokingly groaning and rolling her eyes.

“never gonna happen, unfortunately for you.” jiwon giggled at the banter, grabbing a handful of fries from the tray in front of her before forcefully shoving it into the other girl’s mouth, cutting the latter successfully.

that earned a giggle from everyone at the table, but rei’s tiny and polite laugh was especially noticeable among the bunch. 

turns out she always listens when it’s about jiwon, huh.

—

“what about you, y/n?” asked jiwon, distracting you from the conversation you were about to engage in with the delicious burger that nestled in between your eager hands. you looked at her, allowing her to carry on, “are you volunteering anywhere?”

all of a sudden, all three different pairs of eyes were on you, and you only. 

you cleared your throat, setting the hamburger down, now having caught a glimpse of what the conversation was actually about. volunteering, huh? is that a thing that student council casually members do when they’re bored..?

you didn’t want to seem like an asshole, but it’s not like you could afford to lie, either, especially not when wonyoung was staring at you so intently, like she was excited to merely hear you talk.

you felt guilty for even placing a word.

“oh uh,” you focused your eyes on the table, unsure of your response and the reaction you would get. “i would, but i barely have the time, unfortunately.. you know, with my job and all..”

“you know,” rei chimed in, shaking her medium-sized soda drink around before taking a sip, “you can say that you don’t care enough, we won’t judge.” she said in a joking manner, earning laughter from everyone at the table.

that was a joke, it’s obvious that everybody would be laughing. 

“ahah, yeah..” 

except you, of course, the best you could do at that moment was crack a slight smile since you were basically stuck inside of your own head by now, contemplating whether they were actually making fun of you in your face or if you were just overthinking everything again, just like you always do.

man, with each thought you had, you felt uneasy. the more they talked, the more overwhelmed you felt, especially if the conversation revolved around you;  self-consciousness wouldn’t even begin to describe it, despite your desperate attempts to sit and actually enjoy the moment, as well as the food in front of you, for that matter.

but alas, that annoying voice in your head had won again. the same voice that always goes on and on about how every person around you thinks you aren’t enough, and that you’re uninteresting and unlikeable, sometimes just plain annoying. 

that got the best of you today.

you reluctantly stood up, which caught the two girls’ attention, but especially wonyoung’s, all of their eyes perking up at you. “where you going?” asked jiwon.

“just the bathroom.” you replied almost immediately, “sorry, you guys can keep talking, i won’t be long.”

you make a beeline for the restroom after rambling out those words, not looking back for even a second. you push the door open once you get there, quickly closing it behind you before turning the sink on and looking at yourself in the mirror. 

get it together, y/n, you told yourself, don’t embarrass her any more than you already have.

you proceeded to splash some cold water onto your face, taking advantage of the fact that you conveniently decided not to wear any makeup today. to call it refreshing would be an understatement, as it helped you gain back composure.

that’s when you heard, and noticed from your peripheral vision, the restroom door cracking open. you turned off the running sink in hurry and turned to the door, wiping the water off of your face with your palm and forearm.

“..you okay?” 

“huh? yeah..” 

she looked at you some more. it was clear that she did not believe you for one second, she therefore locked the door behind you, as to not have anybody interrupt. she was going to ask again, however, she refrained from doing so and let you speak of your own accord.

you quickly understood that she was going to ask again, however, refrained from doing so and let you speak of your own accord. you took a deep breath, then you allowed your vulnerability to manifest itself through your words, just this once.

“..i just feel like.. i don’t know—“ you tried finding the right words to say, but nothing could potentially make the situation any worse than you’ve made it, “are you happy with me, wonyoung?” 

long pause. a very long pause.

she furrowed her eyebrows upwards, “…what?” her voice was now just above a whisper as she processed your words, slightly shaking. despite how subtle it was, you heard the fear in it. “o-of course i am, why wouldn’t i be?”

“i just feel… i feel like you deserve better than me.” you turned away from her, your eyes settling on the mirror before you, once again. “i’m sorry, i don’t wanna be annoying—“

“do i make you feel that way?” she asked almost immediately, cutting you off. her expression giving away her heavy dejection despite her best attempt to mask it. “do i make you feel like you’re not enough?”

hurting you is the last thing she would ever want to do, she’s certain she’d rather die a horrible death on the spot than cause you pain.

“no, of course not!” you responded just as fast, your gaze meeting hers as you turn to face her once again, “you’re great towards me, amazing, even. it’s… it’s just that, i’m scared that you’re doing it out of pure guilt.. is all—”

she, in response, was no longer taken aback. finally having understood what was on your mind throughout this whole outing, her worry evaporated from her face, leaving room for a sympathetic expression, “guilt?” she walked your way and stood beside you, her big hands now cupping your cheeks and holding them in a warm, loving embrace. “if i really was dating you out of guilt, would i really ask you to go out with me to meet my friends?”

“i don’t want you doubting my love for you ever again, okay?” she added, her eyebrows furrowed, now looking practically offended. “i mean, come on, let’s not forget that i have standards.”

interpreting your silence and the way you looked up at her as uncertainty, she continued, smiling at you, “and you exceed every single one; you’re amazing, y/n. you’re gorgeous, so incredibly smart, talented, understanding, so kind and genuine, too. the list could go on, honestly, but most important of all, i love you, i love you so much, and there is truly nothing in this world that’ll be able to change that.. i never, ever, wanna hear you say any of that again. also, never scare me like that? ever?”

“but—“

“nuh uh!” she hovered her index finger over your mouth, silencing you before you could protest, “no buts! you’re perfect and i’m very incredibly lucky to be with you, that’s final.” she insisted, before mumbling to herself, “also, i should probably tell rei to cut it down on the sarcastic jokes, shouldn’t i.. she gets comfortable way too easily—“

“no wony, i know she meant no harm. plus, i would’ve found it funny if i wasn’t so in my own head..” 

she sighed, then nodded. and as corny as it was, that whole conversation was enough to fully reassure you again. you cracked a shy and content smile, to which she happily reciprocated whilst gently stroking your hair with her hand, leaving a loving kiss on your forehead. “i love you, wonyoung, i’m sorry.” you muttered, barely audible. 

she groaned, having heard you, and rolled her eyes jokingly, “will you stop apologizing so much?” before smiling with nothing but love and admiration in her eyes, “i love you too dumbass, so much, and i’m afraid i’ll never stop.” she added, before leaving a small peck on your lips.

you returned the kiss, having wonyoung leaning into you and gently pushing you onto the sink. your hands went on both sides of her face and cupped her cheeks, your girlfriend melting into your touch with a smile immediately before pulling away and looking into your eyes.

now being in the right headspace and paying proper attention to her appearance, you just now noticed how good wonyoung really looked that day; her long brown hair perfectly straightened at the top and being more on the wavy side on the ends, the whole hairstyle being all, quite literally, tied together by a lavender-coloured ribbon. you’ve also noticed that she decided to wear her favorite  navy blue and white striped knit sweater and tucked it under the waistband of her blue denim jeans, incredibly effective in drawing attention to her waist whilst also keeping a cozy look.

she looked beautiful, there was absolutely no doubt about that, but your mind kept wandering further. you thought about how much more beautiful she’d look wearing nothing, before being hit with the sad truth that the two of you are in a public bathroom, and that the latter was very unlikely to happen.

still though, you smiled to yourself as your eyes trained down on her body, getting lost in dirty thought before looking up at her again. once your gaze met wonyoung’s, you watched her lips form into a stupid smile before she spoke again, making you realize how dearly you missed listening to her honey-like voice despite having heard it roughly 30 seconds prior.

“and what are you looking at exactly?” she tilted her head slightly, flirtatiously sliding her hand up and down your sides as she awaited your answer.

it’s crazy how your girlfriend of several months could still manage to turn your stomach to literal mush, every single thing about her made you short-circuit; her mannerisms, the way she talked to you, the way she always put her hands on the right spot, her smile… she was clearly out to get you.

and it didn’t look like that was going to change anytime soon.

“..nothing,” you replied, taking a short pause as you took in all of her features, before adding on, “you look good, babe.”

that pet name made sense again, you felt like yourself again.

“yeah?” she spoke back, now placing her two hands atop each side of the sink that you were already leaning on. her face now mere inches away from yours, your nostrils suddenly invaded by the hypnotizing smell of the sugary, expensive perfume she had on, the one that drove you nuts, “thanks for noticing.”

it took one last dorky smile from her before you officially lost your shit and pulled her back in for a kiss, this one hungrier than the previous, and it didn’t take much for wonyoung to acknowledge the desire you felt for her, either. she’d also be lying if she said she didn’t want you just as much. 

you could taste the cherry lip gloss she had put on previously as your lips danced in sync with hers, 

“wait,” you said in between kisses, “what about the others?”

“oh don’t worry,” she chuckled, wearing a knowing expression and slightly shaking her head in amusement at the thought, “they’re definitely keeping each other distracted. i would even go as far as to say that they completely forgot about us even coming along in the first place.”

as insane as it may sound, you could totally picture jiwon completely discarding her food and endlessly rambling about quite literally the dumbest thing ever whilst rei admired her silently, listening to every word the other girl spoke, entranced as she took tiny sips of her drink, perhaps as an attempt to make the moment last forever.

the two of you giggled to yourselves, seemingly having thought of the exact same thing before the urge to have wonyoung ruin you in this very bathroom hit you once more, only harder this time. 

it didn’t take long for your girlfriend to lean back into you, now making her painfully slow way down to your jaw, then to your neck, planting messy and lazy pecks across the skin. you felt her smiling against you with relish, taking in each and every soft noise that escaped from your mouth. her hands were growing more and more curious by the second, which caused them to explore and slide further down from the spot they initially settled on; your lower stomach and waist. they eventually worked their way up your black pleated skirt, teasing your entrance through the soft fabric of your already damp underwear.

that went on for a long while, so long so that you felt the pool in between your legs growing with each rub of the finger she gave you.

“god, look at you,” she then whispered against your neck, marking it up right to her liking, “perfect, always so perfect for me.” and watching you not-so-subtly grinding your hips against her hand at the words, longing for any sort of friction you could get. 

“wonyoung–” you whined out quietly, using all of your willpower to not make too much noise so as to not let the other people in the restaurant hear you through the closed door. she heard you though, she heard you loud and clear and that was all that mattered to her. she pretended that she didn’t, however, and pulled away from your neck to properly look at you to raise a knowing eyebrow at you. the back and forth motion she was doing on your clothed pussy now much, much slower. “what was that baby?”

“please.” you breathed out shakily, “i need you.. bad.”

“do you now?” she responded, cocky.

you nodded almost immediately.

she let out a tsk sound in response, “couldn’t even wait ‘till we get home, huh?” that confirmation was all it took for her to finally push your panties to the side just enough to be able to spread your cunt and squeeze her fingers into it, which was very wet enough to welcome her digits, she slowly inserted them further in. 

“so impatient, just for me, right?” she whispered, watching you as you nodded once again, this time more keen. she then paused, quietly taking in all of your reactions to her different  words and teasing, more than satisfied, she scoffed, “fuck, i love you—“

she pressed her lips against yours again, eager; she truly couldn’t get enough of you, everything about you was all she could ever want. you couldn’t help but let a guttural groan escape from your lips in response to her two fingers fully sliding inside of you in one swift motion, filling your insides up perfectly. you were undeniably loud, but the kiss definitely contributed to quieting you down, muffling the noise of your pleasure, the squelching sounds of your pussy being the only audible thing occupying the air.

it didn’t take long before she started pumping her fingers in and out of you, finding a slow and steady pace before fully ravaging your core. she quickly pulled away to catch a glimpse of the scene happening on the lower side of things; her hand reaching into your skirt and working its magic. the sight of that worked the both of you up even more, and she would’ve completely gotten rid of every piece of the clothing that’s in her way to you right then and there,

but then again, this was a public bathroom.

and you two were very quickly reminded of that once you heard knocking at the locked door, as well as tussling of the doorknob. wonyoung and you froze, albeit a very polite pair of knocking and turning, it scared the shit out of you.

“y/n? wonyoung? are you guys okay in there?” you heard rei’s easily discernible voice on the other side of the door. your eyes darted between it and wonyoung, mere inches away from you (who also seemed visibly panicked, as well as amused.)

well wonyoung was incredibly wrong in assuming they forgot about them.

in a silent, mutual agreement sealed by a nod, you came up with a pitiful excuse, fighting back every potential shake of your voice that could manifest itself, “y-yeah, uh, i’m just fixing up my makeup and—“

suddenly, you felt your girlfriend’s thumb pressing on your sensitive and swollen bundle of nerves without warning, and began to rub it in a slow and painful circular motion, wearing a slight smirk while doing so. your stomach immediately dropped at the feeling, and your first instinct was to bite your lip as you tried your hardest not to moan out wonyoung’s name out loud,

obviously, you wanted to, but couldn’t; especially not when rei’s on the other side, worried about you two.

the tall brunette threw you a teasing glance, her expression practically reading ‘go on, keep going.’ so, as a matter of principle, you did. you pulled on her knit sweater in overwhelm, oh so desperate to just cum already and not risk getting caught and definitely kicked out, just imagining that walk of shame gave you goosebumps, “w-wonyoung’s with m-me.”

“okay! oh and also, jiwon wanted me to ask if you were gonna finish your food.” 

as bad as it was, your thoughts at that moment resembled ‘oh my god why isn’t she leaving yet’, especially when your love thought it was an amazing idea to casually fingerfuck you again, her fingers finding their familiar pace and curling against your g-spot perfectly. you kept tugging on her top, mouth slightly agape in surprise and overwhelming pleasure as you tried to come up with an answer.

“yes!” you cleared your throat after having that first word coming out a bit too excited for your liking, then continued, “yes, t-tell her she can have all of the remaining fries s-she wants.” you looked at wonyoung with hooded eyes right after slurring out those words, shaking your head in desperation. not at all in the right state of mind to even listen to her friend’s response who then thankfully left, you mouthed the words ‘i wanna cum so bad.’ to her.

she was gonna keep teasing you, but she decided that you’ve endured more than enough for that day. with her other hand, she settled her palm onto your mouth; she knew how loud you got when hitting climax. a few more pumps of her fingers into your puffy cunt was all it took for you to grip onto her sweater as you came all over her hand, eyes rolled back whilst you moaned and pleaded into her hand, bucking your hips into her and riding your high on her palm, her thumb still pressing your clit.

pulling her slander fingers out of you, she quickly made you taste how good you were and made sure you thoroughly and carefully licked every inch of it clean as you hazily muttered ‘i love you’s in between lick and sucks.

one thing was for sure, sitting back down at the table wearing underwear full of your slick was definitely an element of great embarrassment,

but at least you were now fully reassured that dating you was not at all one for wonyoung.

[maelancoli]

Adding Tension After the Ship Happens

i feel a lot of slow burn ships lose steam after the characters finally get together, whether it's just from sleeping together or them actually engaging in a relationship, so here are some ideas for how to maintain steam.

their problems are not solved now that they've crossed the thresh hold

first things first, the plot itself i'm sure has other details than just their relationship. even the most fluffy of fluff has other things going on than kisses and giggles. don't abandon these details once the relationship truly begins. and if there was any kind of unresolved tension point or previously mentioned ex/trauma/insecurity/fear bring it back! bring things back around that might put a strain on a new, tender relationship. this can either make them have problems or be a way to develop their bonds and *show* it in action. any of these foreshadowing/resurrected points can be added in edits if you didn't start out with them or with retconning if you're writing rp/fanfic. all the writers do it. we see it in tv everyday it's ok if u gotta pull a rabbit from a hat.

their relationship will not be suddenly smooth and solid as if they have been married 20 years

okay they kissed/fucked/agreed to be together. now what? what circumstances kept them from getting there sooner? are those circumstances still present and how will they deal with it as a team? you also don't have to have characters officially together once they've done something physical. there is still discussion to be had and boundaries/expectations to establish. those conversations could be interesting to explore. and, even more-so, this is the perfect point for plot to happen and keep them from being able to have those conversations when they should. you can add angst, you can add miscommunication, you can add anything that tickles your fancy. especially a perfect time to have an ex return to cause some tension and uncertainty if they haven't made it official. they don't know what they are yet and that uncertainty is a delicious point to write it and really give the characters a hard time

utilize the main plot's tension

again, if you're writing more than just a contemporary fluffy romance, the romance should enrich the main plot. the romance as a subplot should be a component which merges with the main storyline and does not take away from it. if you don't want to milk the will-they-won't-they anymore than you already have it's time to build the relationship up in the midst of OUTSIDE conflict. let them disagree about how to resolve problems. let them butt heads. let them be scared and do and say stupid shit because they're scared. let them be worried or angry or frustrated and have to figure out how to balance their newfound vulnerability with who they are and were before that point. let them hurt each other a little so they can come back together stronger.

utilize the characters around them

if it is a plot which is mainly romance filled, then think about the tension from the lives around them. think about their loved ones and how their own issues could influence the plot points the characters have to face together. this could be a time for them to be introduced to loved ones. you could throw in a group trip with silly mishaps and shenanigans. you could even have loved ones try to break them up or doubt the love interest. navigating new relationships while also dealing with friends and family can be a source of plot and tension in and of itself. this can be a point to let love interests reassure each other and prove their salt. it can help them grow closer. it can be the heroic moment for one of them to stick up for the other or prove they're there for them no matter what.

overall if you're struggling with what to do after the slow burn feels like it's sizzling out it's time to zoom out. make sure you are not losing the whole picture of their environment or steamrolling past the real development of new relationships.

[thirstywoso]

Love me like a sailor - Jessie Fleming x reader

A/N: a little bittersweet childhood sweetheart fic, now I've re-read it I kind of hate it and let's just say there will be a lot of angst coming - you've been warned

THIS IS A RE-POST AS TUMBLR IS HAVING A MELTDOWN

WC: 2k

Warnings: none atm

Synopsis: long distance is taking its toll on you relationship with Jessie

London, Ontario. You knew it well, why?

It was the city you'd grown up in, learned to love and where you now as a 26 year old adult resided. It was also the city you met your childhood sweetheart. Jessie or as most people knew her Jessie Fleming the captain of the Canadian women's soccer team.

You'd met Jessie when you were in kindergarten and since then the two of you had been inseparable. It wasn't until 9th grade though where you'd both realised your friendship was maybe something more, Jessie had been bold and made the first move.

It had been shortly after her debut for the senior team, at 15 years old it was a huge step for her. You'd gone to see her play and unbeknownst to you the feelings you had for the dark haired girl were also creeping their way into her, only the feelings were for you.

So there you were at the sidelines, back then the games weren't so busy but you held up a sign for her "Fleming is my hero" she came over and said hi, the freckled Canadian grinning from ear to ear.

Shortly after the game you found yourself sat cross legged on her bed watching some old movie you'd probably seen a hundred times, yet this time you felt different. Your gaze shifted to Jessie whose eyes were already trained on you, she gave you a soft smile and before you knew it her lips were on yours.

You reciprocated the kiss and in your teenage brain it felt like hours when in reality was more than likely ten seconds, that's where it all started though. The innocent touches, the shared looks until one day you decided to bite the bullet and ask Jessie to be your girlfriend and now here you are just over ten years later. Still loving that goofy lopsided smile and those big brown doe eyes.

The issue with London, Ontario though was that it wasn't Portland, Oregon which is where Jessie currently resided. That being said it was two and a half thousand miles closer than London, England which was where she had been for the past three and a half years.

Jessie playing across the border provided to be easier than when she was across an entire ocean. It mean't she could fly to you during off season, you could fly out to games especially the ones she played on the east coast. It was easier. There was no doubt about that.

Yet after graduating high school together and both going to college on the west coast of America yourself at Berkeley and Jessie at UCLA, then dealing with the time differences being on different continents, nothing felt as distant as it did now.

You always knew Jessie would go far and even though you both decided it was best for you to stay in your hometown to pursue your career it seemed to be eating at you more and more.

This is something you should probably bring up to Jessie, yet it never seemed like the right time. When you saw her you'd go to talk but something inside of you didn't want to ruin the precious time you did have together and then she would be gone again. However, over the phone also didn't seem like the best way to have this conversation. So you kept it to yourself.

That was until you visited Portland, Jessie had been there several months by now, however, you'd only managed to get out there a few times but it was better than nothing.

This time was different though, she was showing you some of her favourite places she had found since being in the city, one of which was a coffee shop on the river. As you walked in you took note of the way the barista who you'd soon come to learn was named Alex beamed at your girlfriend, her face slightly dropping as she clocked you and your fingers threaded through Jessie's. This didn't go unnoticed by you.

She greeted Jessie as you both came up to the counter and Jessie introduced you to her, telling you how Alex had helped her one day when she got caught in the rain and the paper bag with her groceries had split. They'd soon became friends and Jessie would frequent Alex's coffee shop, it seemed odd to you that Jessie hadn't mentioned her to you before.

As you turned to find a seat you noticed that the shelves in the shop contained some old cameras and some books, the layout of the shop and the items scattered is only what you could describe as a representation of Jessie's brain. You mentioned this to Jessie and she told you that's why she liked this place so much, her eyes then wondered over towards the counter where Alex was looking over at you both smiling. A pang of jealousy struck you in the chest.

Once you'd both finished your coffee Jessie suggested one of her new favourite walks that Alex had apparently showed her, you politely declined, feigning a migraine and asking to go back to her apartment.

Arriving back at the apartment you laid down on the couch on your front a pillow under your head as your arms stretched out underneath it, that's when you felt some soft material poking out from under the couch cushions. After a slight tug you find a flannel shirt, one you didn't recognise.

"Hey babe" you call out

"What's up?" Your girlfriend says walking over to where you lay.

"What's this?" You ask holding up the garment in question

"Oh" she scratches the back of her neck "That's Alex's, she must've left it here"

"What was Alex doing in your apartment? Much less leaving clothes?"

"She just came over one day after I'd finished training to bring coffee... she must've got hot and just left it here by accident" Jessie says almost questioning it herself.

"Right.." you say pushing yourself up so you're sat on the edge of the couch.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"It's just. Jessie, you seem real close with her. The way she was eye fucking you across the coffee shop, how her clothes are literally in your apartment. How you've never told me about her ever yet she seems to be a big part of your Portland life, it just doesn't make sense!" You say beginning to raise your voice.

"I didn't bring her up because I want to focus on you when we talk, she was certainly not eye fucking me and she's just been helpful since I met her"

"Yeah, yeah Jessie, you can't deny the way she looked at you" you yell at her

"You're out of your fucking mind!" She yells back

"I'm out of my fucking mind, clearly you are lying or just so stupidly naive if you don't think she likes you"

Your words are almost instantly confirmed when Jessie's phone lights up on the coffee table,

Alex💕: You still coming over after you drop your girlfriend at the airport tomorrow?

"And there we go" you say gesturing to her phone

"Wow, we are really doing that huh?" She says handing you her phone

"Go on look through our messages" she huffs at you rolling her eyes

"I'm not saying I don't trust you Jess, I'm saying I don't trust her" you place her phone back on the coffee table.

Running your hands through your hair you don't know where to look, settling on the ground you can't bring yourself to look at her.

"She's just a friend, even if she does have feelings I promise you I don't" she says tilting your chin to look up at her.

Begrudgingly you make eye contact with her, deep down you know she's right. Jessie could never cheat on you... could she? You shake your head dismissing that thought.

"You're right, I trust you Jess. It's just been hard you know? You've been so far away for so long and I'm not one hundred percent sure how I can keep doing it" you let out a sigh feeling relived you addressed your feelings.

"Right... so what does that mean for you? For us?" She narrows her eyes slightly somewhat taken aback by your statement. It wasn't that Jessie hadn't also felt the strain and had begun to have those questions herself, it was more that she hadn't even thought about you feeling the same.

"I'm not sure, I love you Jess, I always will but it's just not felt right for awhile" you say your chest tightening

"I see, I love you too but you're right it's been hard, what should we do?"

"Maybe, maybe we should take a break. See how we are in a few months from now?"

"And if we are meant to be, we will be?" She says sadness seeping into her voice

"So, this is it?" You ask tears brimming in your eyes

"This is it" she repeats back to you.

"For now" she follows up.

-

Before you knew it you were on the plane back to your hometown, Jessie still in Portland. Your conversation last night ended with the mutual decision to keep contact to a minimum whilst you both figure things out.

You'd gotten on the plane with a book and some music downloaded on your phone, the way you'd kill the next few hours instead of enduring crying babies and staring at the seat ahead. That all went out the window though when a girl in the seat next to you was struggling to put her luggage in the overhead bin.

You being the kindhearted person that you were you'd decided to give her a hand, helping her cram her baggage in as she slammed down the bin door. Only she ended up knocking your phone out of your hand which came crashing down in the aisle.

She was so apologetic but that didn't help the fact you now had a broken phone and a six hour flight with nothing but yourself and your thoughts.

This gave you time to think about your relationship and your own life. You'd been with Jessie for all of your adult life and half of your teenage years, the time you had made you realise how you didn't know who you were without her, this break would be harder than you first thought.

You loved Jessie, you really did. Just for now you knew you needed to see who you were and what your life was without her.

After several hours of your mind ticking away back and forth between if you made the right decision or not, how you felt and if you should've just stuck with it you finally exit the aircraft making your way to the luggage carousel. As you turn to take your luggage you see a pair of feet in front of you and hear what sounds like someone gasping for breath.

"Oh hi" you say slightly surprised at the disheveled girl in front of you, the same girl from the plane.

"Sorry, it's just, I... hold on" she pants out

You stay still your gaze steady on her whilst she regains composure.

"I, I'm sorry about your phone. I couldn't let you go without apologising again and.." she rummages in her pocket pulling out a crumpled napkin with the airline logo stamped on it.

"This is for you" she says handing it to you

"Your dirty napkin?" You question confused.

"No, open it" she laughs

You do, looking up meeting her eyes a confused look still plastered on your face, eyebrow slightly raised and head cocked.

"What, what's this?" You ask

"My number silly" she giggles to herself lightly before carrying on "when you get your phone fixed, call me or text me and we can grab coffee or something and I'll reimburse you for the damage"

"I don't expect you to do that"

"It's nothing really!" She insists

"Well I'll agree to the coffee but don't worry about anything else" you bargain with her

"Deal" she shakes your hand "It's a date"

Those three words replayed in your head the rest of the day.

[alvojake]

Destructive Nature | S.JY

「prompt」 : self-destruction 「pairing」 : jake x fem!reader 「word count」 : 0.8k

「synopsis」 : everything was going great with jake; he was nothing like your past boyfriends. he was sweet, caring, attentive, a gentleman… and that’s what you hated most because there was no way anyone was like that all of the time. so you did the only thing you knew… ruin it before it ruins you.

「genre」 : angst

「warnings」 : cussing, self-destructive tendencies, argument, crying, lmk if I missed anything!!

「notes」 : okay, so this sucks ass, like severely... but I wrote it last minute and completely lost where I was initially going with this one; day four will be better, I promise

masterlist ─ navi. ─ angstober list

You don’t know why you always picked fights with Jake; you had absolutely no reason to do so. Jake had been a fantastic boyfriend to you for the past year or so. However, it was starting to feel a little too comfortable for you.

There was always the nagging voice in the back of your head that would always tell you that something bad was going to happen or that Jake was only really with you because he felt bad. You had always managed to push those thoughts away and live with Jake happily.

Then it all went crashing downhill.

First, it was the little things; you started to suspect that he was cheating when he was gone for just a little too long at night. To, you started to pick fights about the smallest things, the laundry not folded the way you wanted, the dishes in the sink, small messes in the living room that Jake would forget about when he was gaming, anything that you could possibly fight over. Then you started to give Jake the cold shoulder, especially when he would ask you to go out with him, always claiming that you were ‘too tired’.

You wanted to bash yourself over the head for doing all of this because you loved Jake so much. However, when you started to see that he wasn’t going to turn out like your exes you wanted to run, you didn’t think that this was real. That it was all just merely a dream, a farce.

So you started doing what you did best… destroying it all. 

Including yourself.

“Y/n, I don’t understand what’s happening with you here lately.” Jake huffed, running his fingers through his hair, trying his best to keep his voice steady even if you were making it nearly impossible.

“Oh, so I have an issue now?” You scoffed, turning your body as a small laugh escaped your lips.

Jake looked at you with wide eyes, “No. That’s not–”

“Save it, Jake, actually…” All of the hairs on your body as you realized what you were getting ready to say, and you screamed at yourself internally to not say it, but it didn’t stand a fighting chance. “This isn’t working anymore.”

Jake felt his heart stop as those few words fell from your parted lips, his eyes boring into yours, trying to find any semblance that you were just messing around, as cruel as it may be. But you weren’t, and he could tell.

“What? No, y/n, you can’t just say that! We can talk this out, okay?” He started to walk towards you but stopped short when you shot him a glare, “Y/n… we love each other, we can figure–”

“I don’t.” Those words fell from your lips before you could even get the chance to stop them, causing your heart to sink. The pain that fell over Jake’s face made you want to dig a hole and bury yourself in the dirt. It was an expression that you wished you never would have to see, but you knew it was inevitable.

This wasn’t ever meant to last, no matter how much either of you wanted it to.

After a beat of silence, Jake spoke up, his hands balled into tight fists at his sides, “What?”

Swallowing thickly, you tried your best to keep the tears at bay and maintain a neutral expression: “I’ve lost feelings for you, Jake.” 

It was then that you could have sworn that you had utterly broken a man who deserved not even an ounce of it. You wanted so badly to just take all of what you had said back and apologize to him, promising him that it would never happen again. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t swallow your pride or even try to fix things because you needed to ruin this before it eventually ruined you.

“What?” Jake repeated the same word like a broken record, tears spilling down his flushed cheeks like waterfalls.

You knew that if you stood there any longer, you would cave, and that couldn’t happen, so you started to walk away. You didn’t get very far before you felt his hand wrap around your wrist, gently tugging you until you turned to face him.

“Please tell me this is just some sick joke, y/n. That this past year meant nothing to you.” His voice cracked, eyes endlessly searching for a sign that this was just a stupid nightmare,

“I’m sorry, Jake.” 

But it wasn’t a nightmare, at least not one that you have while you sleep and that disappears the moment you wake up. No, this was one that, no matter how much you wish you could wake up, you just couldn’t.

With a heavy heart, you slip out of his grasp and flee the apartment, leaving Jake to stare at the spot where you once were standing. Wondering how everything went wrong in such a short amount of time.

@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

[edutainer2022]

The convoluted dynamics between the Mechanic and Scott keeps fascinating me, as they're antagonistic/contrasting characters, but also mirrors. This is a bit of a darker spin on the issues that drive them and inform mutual (explosive) reactions. I left the ending open to interpretation (hopefully!). Maybe there's hope for a road to a working relationship. Maybe there's more than one. Maybe it's a dead-end, or a clean slate.

Many thanks to @janetm74, as always, for bearing with the twilight of my mind.

CW: mention of implied past assault and mental torture. Nothing graphic.

MEANINGS

The way that day started, he would never have guessed how it would end. Yet there he was. There they were.

The morning met a round up of a grueling overnight rescue. For the first time since the neurolink to the Hood had been severed, they tried out several of his customized mechas on a rescue for difficult to reach places. The Illustrious Commander was, of course, vocally against the field test. Or granting him any more access to their systems beyond what was necessary for the T-drive. No surprise there. But Brains was excited, and with a helfty support from the orbit, the Commander was outvoted and outgunned. In the end, the rescue nearly cost the Commander's life anyway, when the idiot ventured further beyond where his mechas would go. Beyond what was prudent, humanly possible, or sane. The Mechanic had long got his own suspicions, but that night - he saw red.

Technically, it was the next morning, when he stormed the locker room showers in the hangars. Thunderbird One was the last one back to the island, held back on site by reporting to the local authorities. Or maybe delaying the inevitable. He suspected the other Tracies were giving their Intrepid Leader a wider berth before the debrief. The Mechanic had no such qualms.

He yanked the stall door so hard - the hinges keened. Paying no heed to the scalding water blasting from the showertop, he slammed the younger man face first against the wall, an effective chokehold immobilizing his any attempt to wrestle free or fight back. The Mechanic saw Scott spar with Kayo or with his brothers in the island gym, on occasion. More often he would pummel the equipment, working through whatever demons haunted him. The Mechanic was certain he was at least one of those. Scott was good in a scrap. Very good. But with at least five inches and fifty pounds on him, Scott was currently no match to the Mechanic's FURY. He was so angry his voice went hoarse:

"Listen up! You wanna get yourself killed - that's between you and whatever the heck you believe in. But don't you DARE use me as a TOOL to punish yourself EVER AGAIN! I won't be your flagelation puppet! You pull another stint like that - you can build your own damn T-drive!"

He was panting, the blinding ire had winded him. It took a moment to realize Scott wasn't struggling against his firm grip. In fact, the man was completely still, each muscle and sinue stiff, thrumming with tension like a live wire. Frozen. He was expecting a lashing out. A showdown. He'd have welcomed it, in fact. The tension building for weeks from the very bowels of the dormant volcano got him antsy. He was ready to erupt. And so was the Tracy Commander. But from the vantage point of his height the Mechanic could see blue eyes squeeze shut. The hiss came out stifled, like Scott's airways were closing up:

"Go ahead... Get it over with..."

Only then it occurred to the Mechanic how dubious the situation was. The realization rippled a chill through his veins, despite the heat of the running shower, rapping over his back. He looked up Scott Tracy's GDF file way back in the Hood's thrall. The classified parts and the ones Tracy Sr. made sure were stricken from the record altogether. The Mechanic knew firsthand what it felt like to have no control over one's own body. Over one's own mind. And now he was nearly perpetrating the same brand of violence. Or so Scott's triggered instincts read into his intent. His hands let go of the other man's body almost automatically and took a step back. Horrified. Through the fog of the scalding water he could see the rigid body start shaking, leaning against the wall. That particular clash was far from over, he understood as much. But they didn't exactly do apologies, so without another word he stalked out.

***

He expected nothing less than a throw of hands when Scott Tracy next showed up in his workshop. Technically, it was a portion of Hiram's labs, allocated to him, complete with sleeping quarters and even a bathroom of his own. He WAS cordially offered guest rooms on the upper levels of the villa, but he knew better than to accept. His current status didn't bode well with broad daylight out in the open. Besides, he preferred not to stray far away from the T-drive specs and test simulations. In case inspiration struck at odd hours, which it frequently did.

Surprisingly enough, Scott Tracy was not seeking a fight. Or immediate termination of his arrangement. Or a lawsuit for aggravated assault. Which would be a moot point anyway, since the Mechanic was technically a fugitive. His jailer, Rigby, definitely reported he didn't exactly comply to being released into the Tracies' custody before the Hex exploded.

He wasn't quite sure either if Scott Tracy was seeking oblivion or offering a truce, when he stepped into the workshop at a small enough hour of the night, brandishing a bottle of scotch. The Mechanic wasn't a conossieur of top shelf alcohol, but he knew enough to recognize the Macallan 1926 single malt that could easily pay for most of Zero-XL deep space supplies. It took several minutes of comically shuffling among the battery of cups, amassed through long hours of agonising over failed T-drive tests, but they finally poured two fingers each. They were drinking a century and a half old scotch out of chipped, coffee-stained novelty mugs. In complete silence. The Mechanic didn't feel like pursuing a fight after the incident in the showers. Or a more recent one, in the hangars. He gave Scott the space to speak first. Or not. A flash of blue finally turned to him.

"I'm sorry."

That was new. Apparently, they WERE doing apologies. But the Mechanic needed a bit more context to go on, so he took another sip in carefully crafted quiet.

"I'm sorry I made you feel like a tool. Again. I didn't think... it would hurt you thus."

Hurt was a word he didn't expect. But couldn't but appreciate. Hurt rarely featured in any conversation around his previous gig as Hood's henchman, if it were not the hurt he inflicted. There was definitely no shortage of the latter. He raised the cup in acknowledgement and the tension in the blue eyes eased up a faint bit. He took an extra minute to consider his own words.

"I'm sorry for lashing out. You scared me."

Maybe it was the second helping of scotch talking. He was almost befuddled to pinpoint the truth of it. His inventions had never been heretofore used to save. Only to destroy. And on the first try they failed. He could hardly ever imagine regretting not saving Scott Tracy, of all people, yet there they were.

A mirthless bark of a laugh broke through his impromptu reverie.

"You're new here. You'll get used to it!"

Maybe it was scotch talking too. Maybe Scott Tracy was so accustomed to his own self-destruction mode, he didn't see the points of no return anymore. Didn't see the point anymore. The Mechanic could certainly drink to that. But his newfound freedom, newfound lease on life, and with it - newfound PURPOSE, made him hyperaware of such all too familiar mindset. He wasn't Scott Tracy's sibling, or friend, or mentor. He wouldn't roll over and let the man martyr himself on the altar of his perceived failures. Several days ago he probably wouldn't believe himself ever thinking that. Definitely the scotch talking. Yet there they were.

***

They could certainly attribute the rest of the night to the rest of the scotch. It didn't come to words between them beyond that, but it did come to a showdown. His split and swollen lip and a bruise blooming on the edge of Scott's jaw would tell a story, come dawn. Definitely scotch talking.

The eruption was inevitable, as they probably both knew - tension cackling in the space between resentment and recognition. Speaking of live wires. He maybe should have been aware Scott was still chasing retribution for himself. He might have been aware he was still on a mission to reclaim control by all means. For a brief, cathartic while it didn't matter. So there they were. Back to square one.

[autistichalsin]

I want to ask how you feel about Halsin's ending. Specifically the part where he doesnt invite the player to go with him. Not to give vampire on main, but I sit around wondering if he even wanted the player to come at all since he didnt actually invite them or even hint about it or anything. Which is also kind of weird to me because he's been pretty straight forward and honest with the player up to that point so I cant help but wonder if maybe he was trying to break it off. Roaming free and all that you know?

I don't think it's about roaming or not being committed to you, though of course Halsin does have a different way of defining relationships. If you put the pieces together from the rest of his scenes, especially his solomanced epilogue, you notice a few things.

Halsin has severe abandonment issues; multiple times near the end, you can suggest leaving (whether disbanding your group or dumping him as a partner) and he will sadly lament that it was inevitable. A lot of people with abandonment issues start getting so used to being left behind that they start doing the leaving first, feeling like it might hurt less if they do it.

Similarly, Halsin says in his solomanced epilogue that he never thought the player would want to go with him; "you could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me." He also looks utterly stunned when you tell him you do want to go with him, but also overjoyed when you assert that yes, that is what you want.

With both of those things taken together? Due to his idolization of you and his abandonment issues, he thought it was impossible that you could ever want to stay with him. He just genuinely never thought it was possible. So he made the step of leaving, of building a future for himself, under the assumption that you, the savior of Baldur's Gate, would want to stay in the city to enjoy the parades and feats in your honor rather than start a brand new life with him. If you tell him you want to part ways, he sadly tells you it was always meant to be, and that he is still grateful for having met you; if you tell him that of course you're coming, he is stunned, but immediately accepts the idea as soon as you reassure him that this is what you want.

So all that to say? He wanted to join you more than anything- he just never dared think you would actually want him, too. ;-;

[lollyposp]

okay im only slightly going insane right now about how MUCH i adore the way agatha is being portrayed in agatha all along. she's this awesome mix of horrible and sympathetic BUT not in the way that excuses everything she does. like, the other witches dislike her for good reason and even when agatha is nice to them or they realise she's got her own issues too like, that doesn't change what she's done in the past to get her reputation.

but ALSO it's so obvious that 90% or something of Agatha's personality is either a facade or an exaggeration of her bitterness because after everything we know of that's happened to her ("i can be good" "no you cannot", her son dying and rio's obvious involvement in that) it's like. how can she love. how can she trust when those she loved made her feel betrayed, or she lost them, or even both.

i think the first clue that a lot of her personality is a facade was the whole "just blast me" situation, because to me it felt like "well yeah Agatha's clearly nasty but how much of that is because she needs to annoy people into trying to kill her so she can grab their magic?" but I hadn't quite realised that there could be more to it than that

but episode 4 had SO MANY examples. i mean, Agatha's entire "no fucks given" attitude just fizzles out when the teen is dying and i feel like even the other witches picked up on it, like jen was clearly stunned by Agatha's grief as well as by Teen's condition. and then her sitting with Teen until he woke up, not even taking her eyes off him but as soon as he wakes up she pretends she just Happened to check on him Just as he woke up and that she didn't stay there the entire time.

and don't even GET ME STARTED on everything else. the scene at the fire where she very clearly struggled through having a positive interaction with the other witches?? and also the whole "she is my scar" but if i think too much about that i will actually go insane.

the scene that REALLY hasn't left my head all day is the scene where rio tells agatha that Teen isn't hers. ALL THE PROPS to kathryn hahn here she's an INCREDIBLE actress, but the way agatha just says NOTHING and slowly puts on a smile....😦 i was watching the episode with my housemates and the only thing i could say to them was "i literally saw the moment she put her act back on". because for all that agatha is so brash and loud, and no matter how much she might seek conflict with others, she runs away from all her emotional pain because it's too much for her to bear. because how do you even move on from the woman you loved being at least partly complicit in your son's death? whether agatha really DID trade him for the dark hold and regretted it immediately or whether the rumour IS just a rumour and nick and the dark hold aren't connected at all, RIO still is connected to either of those ideas.

(honestly as it stands right now im in whatever camp believes he WAS traded for the darkhold, but agatha somehow didn't realise he would be traded until after it was too late, because i feel like it's what explains her actions in WV and her hallucination the most. also it makes rio's actions all the more painful to agatha because it would have been a mistake she didn't mean to make, and rio would not budge even with that knowledge and OUCH. but that's neither here nor there)

honestly this whole incoherent essay was just to say that i love Agatha's character. i love that the question surrounding her isn't really "is she good or evil?" or even "can she be good?". i feel like it's clear there IS a good person in agatha but because she's ignored it for so long (some of that is probably due to the darkhold) the question kind of becomes "does it matter that she's got good inside her if she refuses to show it?". she's so firmly in the morally grey camp that while i do kind of want her to have a redemption arc and to have a whole found family thing go on, i honestly don't see it happening and i also at the same time DON'T want her to be redeemed when she's so interesting because she's this person who clearly has the capacity to be good and chooses not to out of pride and fear of being vulnerable and all the trauma she's accumulated.

oh i completely forgot to mention that im also obsessed with the sound booth scene???? i honestly can't figure out if she's just shit stirring when she projects her and rio's conversation for the fun of it, or if it's like a fucked up agatha way of trying to protect her new coven by giving them reasons to distrust rio and be wary of her, specifically because she thinks rio will betray her/betray them and reap them. I can't figure it out. it might even be both.

anyway live laugh love agatha

[midnight1nk]

...Oh hey, my dear fellows! I was just vibing here in my pillow fort. Please come in! So, uh, how are we feeling?

[*panic noises*]

Hmm, understandable. We got that episode... then that render... then the website changed... Well, the point is: a lot has happened and things are about to escalate even more than what we have right now. Oh, yeah, things are about to get even crazier and we wouldn't even know. I don't really have many theories on my end since I already launched my "WOTFI 2024 Predictions" post, both the OG and the revisited version, before these episodes came in. What more can I really say?

Actually, there is one thing I could go over...

The Ticket

⚠️ DISCLAIMER IN INTRO POST ⚠️

"Nothing lasts forever..."

Unlike the usual stuff, this will be more of an analysis/prediction. Somewhat of a "mini-theory", if you will. Before I continue, I do want to give a heads-up that Tumblr is giving me a hard time uploading images so for all my sources, I would link them so you can see them for yourselves. At least, until the issue gets resolved.

Now, without further ado, let's-a go :

TRADITIONS

We are all familiar with how WOTFI works. The challenges, the points, the end goal. And, of course, the channel drops hints for the audience to pick up on, usually related to the plot. This is nothing new. Let's look back to the previous one, the 2023 Heist (aka the Notebook Arc):

After Mario stole SMG3's notebook, we ended on the cliffhanger of Three standing outside the Castle, furious at Mario, in the episode 'SMG4: Trust No One'. Since then, we have been given hints here and there, with Three missing his notebook to plotting something to get it back, before we got the trailer for WOTFI and the Heist-Planning stream. This year, though, the hints we received so far all revolved around a ticket.

The first one [link] is SMG4 getting his in an envelope.

The second one [link] was of the crew holding out each of their tickets to the sky. The picture features Bob, Luigi, Three, Four, Mario, Tari, and Karen. We can assume these are the characters we will side with for this year's WOTFI.

And now, the third [link] is the most mysterious of them all so far: A ticket was ripped up and left abandoned on the wet ground.

WHO DOES THIS BELONG TO?

So, what's so mysterious about it?

The ticket being left abandoned is one thing, but the fact that whoever had this ticket ripped it. To start with the first question:

Who does this belong to?

Now, the obvious answer would be Meggy. After all, the last (and shocking) episode just showed us that Mr Puzzles forced Meggy to turn back into Leggy. Meggy won't be with the main crew for WOFTI, it just makes sense.

Well, that's if we assume the episodes and the posts are happening at the same time.

I've been following the people behind the SMG4 channel to see if they have anything to comment on. About the recent episodes, about the renders. And oh boy, did they have things to say:

When the first one dropped, a few people, including myself, made the connection that Mr Puzzles was the one who sent the envelope to Four, similar to how he sent a letter to Wren back in Western Spaghetti. It wasn't until now that the crew alluded that we were right. It's not to say that it's an absolute confirmation. But we are on the right track.

When the second one dropped, many people suspected and joked that the reason why Meggy was in the picture was because she was too short or the one taking the picture. It wasn't until now, after we saw that Meggy was going to become Leggy, the crew was like "I guess that's why Meggy wasn't in the picture" with such a mischievous smile. (they are so silly.)

Seeing how they worded their responses, I believe that, timeline-wise, the episodes took place before these posts were made. Think about it this way:

Two plots were happening at the same time, one with the usual adventures with the crew and the other following Mr Puzzles. But, from our point of view, we only saw one of the plots.

Until the show took a turn and was like "Hey, have you ever wondered what the hell Mr Puzzles is up to while this was happening?" before we transitioned to this plot of Mr Puzzles slowly going insane.

Viewing this exact timeline, it would make sense for Mr Puzzles to already have a carnival in his hands, and send invites to all the people who wronged him (in this case the SMG4 crew) as part of his revenge plan. Leggy would already be with Mr Puzzles at this point, so there isn't any reason why she would own one. The ticket can't be hers.

Then, whose is it?

Well, it's a bit...tricky.

The first thing that comes to mind is the SMG4 crew. There's literally a picture of them holding their tickets. The thing is, they can't be the only ones. Take WOTFI 2023 for example. Sure, Three and Four were the main duo we sided with but other side characters were in the casino as well. Not only that but they were involved in the results for the ending.

Mr Puzzles wants to have a successful carnival to "prove" to his father that he has creative vision. And to do that, he would have to have the park filled with satisfied visitors. More people. and therefore, these side characters would have a ticket as well.

Our pool of "suspects" just went from the main crew to a hundred possible visitors. That is the tricky part. Fortunately, for us, there is still a way. Instead of picking a needle in a haystack, we could use the process of elimination to check off anyone who doesn't fit the criteria.

THE RENDER

Let's look over the recent third post once more. BenJoJoGV, the thumbnail artist for the channel, worked really hard on this render. You can tell how realistically detailed this looks, with the mud and puddles of rain. BenJoJoGV really cooked fr fr.

A few people pointed something out: if you look closely at the mud, you can see a shoeprint. Likely to come from a (work) boot due to the heel and the grooves being emphasized by the mud.

If this wasn't done on purpose and was simply part of the textured pattern, then this means nothing.

However, if this was done on purpose, then it means our suspect wears boots. The soles of the shoes are probably not as detailed as the ones in the render, but they're still boots. Everyone who doesn't wear boots as part of their model is automatically eliminated. From the main crew, it would be Bob and Tari.

What about Karen?

Her model does have shoes with a pronounced heel on them. However, she has no motive as to why she would rip the ticket. Just like the rest of the crew, she doesn't know who sent the ticket, let alone know who Mr Puzzles is.

As a mom, she would likely take her kids to the carnival to have some fun.

If I was right about Marty being part of WOTFI, Karen would've had to get some intel that Marty may be in the carnival. Better yet, she could've used the ticket as an opportunity to finish him off.

Either way, there is no reason to waste it.

As for the rest of the crew that do wear boots, there is yet to be a motive for any of them to rip their ticket. They don't know that Mr Puzzles is the mastermind behind all of this. To them, this is a free pass to a carnival.

This leads to my next question:

Why rip the ticket?

Other than the Didney workers, no one knows that Mr Puzzles killed Mickey and took over Didney Worl to create his own idea of a carnival. The rest of the world, whoever received a ticket, would simply think this is a fun carnival. And a free pass, too? Don't mind if I do!

Who wouldn't want a free ticket?

One person didn't. Our suspect.

They could've handed the ticket to someone else, or simply not go. Why go through the effort of ripping it?

Because, my dear fellows, they know the truth.

They would know what's the deal with the new carnival, who Mr Puzzles is. And perhaps, what Mr Puzzles has done. They would learn the truth and not respond so positively to it.

From the render, we can piece together that:

our suspect was standing in the rain

they ripped the ticket and dropped the pieces

and walked away, leaving the print on the mud, without looking back.

By the time this photo was taken, it would've happened recently since there isn't any mud or rain covered. It just landed on the ground.

Would they confront Mr Puzzles themselves? Would they warn the crew about this? Or simply not take part in WOTFI?

Hmm, lots to think about...

Right now, someone knows the truth about WOTFI and they will definitely take a big role. Remember when Three was standing outside of the castle for last year's WOTFI? It was raining. Things are about to get serious, my friends.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

The question, the one that still remains after all of this... who is our suspect? Who is this person?

We don't know, I don't. But at least we are a bit closer to learning their identity. We just have to wait and see what they have in store for us.

"I got a golden ticket. I got a golden glimmer in my eye..."

But hey, that’s just a theory…

AN SMG4 (MINI) THEORY

🎶Thanks for dropping by🎶

...now if you excuse me, I got a bingo card to prepare!

[celestialsymbiosis]

Love and Mercy p.1 - Rick Grimes x reader

I know it's October.

But here's a little something on the group's first winter in Alexandria:

u_u

“What’re you doin’?”

Rick’s voice is heavy with sleep, quiet but enough to break the silence in the house as he shuffles closer to where you’re kneeling. You don’t need to see him to know he’s got that almost permanently etched frown on, the soft dip between his eyebrows. 

You tilt your head up in greeting, focused on your task, skillfully wrapping items with old newspapers you’d found on a run earlier that week. “Nothing,” you mumble, as if it were enough, your fingers pressing down on the paper with a sleepy determination. You hunch over them to shade from Rick’s view. “Go away.”

Rick hums, depositing himself onto the couch. “No. Missed you in bed. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been sneaking away from me. I’m onto you.”

“You’re not onto shit,” you reply, hands splayed over your projects. 

“Hey,” he lilts, nudging your back with his knee. “What is it?”

There’s a soft noise you release at that, something like annoyance. “Can’t say. It’s not time yet.”

“Time for what?”

You groan, turning around to put your chin up on his knee, looking up at him. “Christmas.”

“You’re still on that?” Rick’s eye twitches a little.

It had been a few weeks ago when the cool air starting breezing through Alexandria. With Winter on the brink and the group relatively settled and sheltered for the first time in years, you’d off-handedly mentioned the season’s festivities. 

Rick hadn’t been too keen on it however. He was everything but settled into the new Alexandrian lifestyle you had found easy to slip into. On edge and restless, as if the universe would detect his comfort and throw it’s next disaster his way. He’d informed the rest of you all, with a hand poised on his belt and fingers itching for the Colt Python Deanna had stored away. Be ready, we can’t let our guard down. 

That may have been weeks ago, but Rick never truly looked comfortable here even now- though you’re not sure he ever did. So between his stubbornness, the fact that Judith hadn’t ever celebrated a holiday, and your proclivity to do first and ask for forgiveness later, you were set on doing something small for the kids at the very least. 

Something to finally look forward to. 

You had gone to Deanna first, telling her of your plans to bring some cheer for Carl and Jude. Her eyes sparkled in that way they seemed to do when she was inspired by something so normal- but she sadly revealed they really did not pack shiny wrapping paper in the community. You weren’t derailed however. 

Any time you were on the run, you tried grabbing things the family would’ve enjoyed that would be painfully human. Glenn laughed when you handed him a new baseball cap, Tara nodded appraisingly at the palm tree snow globe, shaking it around aggressively to see the tiny white flakes swim around. 

So, you had immediately pushed the few issues you’d found of Y: The Last Man for Carl inside your backpack. The stuffed lamb you came across would need to be cleaned and fluffed, but it had made the cut for Judith’s gift. 

Rick noticed when you started crumpling newspapers into your bag, though, raising an eyebrow. 

“Figured we could do something for the kids,” you had said, moving to the next aisle to get some actual supplies too. 

“For what?” Rick’s gruff voice intoned, a hint of a warning behind it. You weren’t quite sure why he even had an issue with the idea of a gift-giving celebration; it’s not like the rest of you haven’t passed items to each other before. 

Kneeling in front of him now, the soft sound of snow pattering down outside and the hum of one of Deanna’s heaters, you nose at his knee. 

“Baby, you gotta- can you relax?” you say a little exasperatedly. “I cannot believe this is even a conversation we need to have when we literally deal with the dead. Is this like, Christmas related trauma or something that I need to be aware of?”

Rick rolls his eyes. “No.”

“Then what’s your damage?”

He scratches his arm, looking at the gifts you’ve wrapped with a suddenly weary sigh. “No damage.”

You tilt your head up at him curiously, tapping his hand to pull him out. 

“I just don’t want…” he groans softly, looking down at you before tangling a hand in your hair. “I don’t want to give them hope so soon. We don’t know how well these walls are gonna hold up when a hoard comes by. We don’t know if this community will survive anything yet. I don’t want to give Carl and Judith this and then have to take it away again.”

When you continue to just stare at him impassively, he nods with a huff, leaning back further back into the couch. “I know, I know,” he waves his hand vaguely. “Trust me- I can hear myself too.”

“So you’re aware that you’re being… difficult?” You choose your words carefully. Rick must find it amusing at the very least because he smiles almost sheepishly. “They need to know there’s more to life than everything we’ve gone through. You’re not taking anything from them. You can give them these moments, the time to just be children.”

“I’d just… feel bad if anything happened. ” 

You hum, his baby blue eyes glazed over with some far away memory for a mere second before they focus back on you. “Everyone’s okay, Rick. We’re all okay here. You don’t need to be so on all the time anymore,” you drop a kiss on his knee. “You’ve done so much for us already. Just- slow down.”

He considers this, considers what you’re saying to him. “A day,” he concedes. “I can slow down for a day. Only tomorrow.”

You let out a startled laugh. “So you’re declaring Christmas to be tomorrow? You’re just choosing?”

“Yes,” he nods once, rubbing his jaw like it’s a hard decision to make. “You get your day, and then I want you with me to assess the barricades. I can’t do it alone.”

You nod easily. “I’ll need help on the decorations. We don’t have much,” you gesture at the crinkled paper and frail twine on the ground. “Don’t suppose we can cut a small tree down with your hatchet?”

“I’ll figure out your decorations, just-“ he beckons you forward, pulling you up easily to straddle his lap, “come here for now.” 

------

Title's from the Gazelle version of Love and Mercy that plays in the show!

part 2 is nsfw, with the full version on ao3.

[dawnrider]

A brainworm of a story has taken over nearly every waking moment for over a week now. So much so that I've written... a lot. 😅

Thank you to those of you that have been cheering me on even as I fussed and fretted! You know who you are.❤️

I'm interested to see what people are going to think about this one, so have a snippet of From Beginning to End for #F#ck it Friday.

“It's dangerous, Kagome,” Sango felt the need to remind her. Again. “I can't ask you to do this,” she fretted over the phone. Kagome shook her head, just barely refraining from rolling her eyes. “You aren't asking me, I'm telling you. I'm going to go in there to look for him.” Her friend of many years sighed anxiously. It was a habit she'd had since she was young. “We can just wait for him to come out.” Kagome found herself a block down from a nightclub, the thumping music penetrating the bricks of the surrounding buildings. The payphone cord only allowed her so much leeway to peek around the corner. Sango had tried to tell her she shouldn’t try going there, and certainly not alone, but it wasn’t like she could let Sango come with her. Not in her condition.

This was not known as a nice part of town. Normally, that wouldn't be an issue for Sango. She'd grown up in an area like this herself before her parents passed away. She and Kohaku had been sent to live with a spinster aunt (her words!) and an ailing grandmother when she was just starting middle school. That was when the two of them had met and been fast friends ever since.

Kohaku, however, struggled more with the transition and losing their parents, acting out and getting himself into all kinds of trouble. Thus the need to go into a venue that was known as a gang hangout, especially on weekends like this. He was trying to prove something and he was just as likely to get himself killed as to achieve his goal.

“I’ll call you once I get out again, alright?”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Kagome. If anything feels off, you get out of there, immediately.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She grinned. “Now go put your feet up and make Miroku rub them for you.”

The bouncer at the door was huge. Huge in a way that didn't seem possible. He checked her ID, narrowed his eyes at her, then grunted and waved her in. Kagome took a fortifying breath as she made her way down the short hallway before the building opened into the wide area for dancing. There were lights flashing in the dark, the chemical smell of machine-made smoke in the air.

It was hard to really see anyone’s face with the constant movement and shifting of the crowd. The lights through the smoke bent and refracted, distorting people’s facial features upon first glance. The music was so loud, Kagome struggled to keep her thoughts in order.

Except… What is that smell? She turned slightly, a tall man with dark hair brushing past her, the tiniest glimpse of his face looking very serious. She was distracted again as the song stopped, changing somewhat abruptly to something else. DJ must not know what they're doing, she mused. Why did her brain feel so flighty all of a sudden? She blinked, hand going to her forehead. She shook it off, setting her chin and putting herself back on alert to spot any sign of Kohaku.

It was hot with all these people dancing and moving. The scent of sweat and alcohol in the air made her a little dizzy. “I should have eaten a better lunch,” she huffed. There was a bank of booths along the back wall, some with groups of young women laughing and clinking glasses. Another table was filled with a somewhat rough looking group of guys. Even at a distance she could tell a few of them were alphas. But they also looked like the type of people Kohaku would be looking to buddy up to.

Sweating, Kagome pushed through the crowd, frustrated by how weak she felt trying to get people to move out of her way. She felt the eyes of more than one person leering at her as she passed, but all she could focus on was how hot she was and how she didn't want any of these people touching her.

The suddenly uncomfortable moisture between her thighs – which could not be brushed off as sweat – made her gasp and wince. No. No no no. Why now? Why here?!

The world felt like hot syrup. Moving too slowly, coating her skin in sticky heat. Everything felt like it was clinging to her and she didn't want any of it to touch her. Not even the air around her. It all left her oversensitized, twitching at the slightest movement. She had to get away from all of these people. She needed to stay as far away as she could from the alphas she knew to be prowling this club. She whimpered as she finally got through the edge of the crowd, stumbling to a back wall. A metal door stood slightly ajar. The bathroom? It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing, and maybe she could calm down enough to leave and call Miroku to come get her. He wouldn’t be affected. He would be furious at his wife’s best friend for getting herself into a dangerous situation, but at least he wouldn’t let anyone touch her.

I don’t want anyone to touch me. A serious face flashed in her mind for the briefest moment, then she was too lost in the need that hit her to focus on that anymore. She slipped beyond the door into what she realized was a service hallway. Not at all what she hoped, but maybe there was a back door out. Her legs felt increasingly weak and she lost her footing in the dark hall. A stack of boxes against one side offered some protection and she crawled across the cold concrete, huddling herself behind them. Tears trailed down her cheeks. Is this what it is supposed to feel like? part of her brain wondered. She had nothing to compare it to, no previous experience to weigh against it. 

In twenty three years, particularly in the decade since that horrible letter came, Kagome had let herself keep believing that this would never be her fate. She would never know this rising and overwhelming fear.

Her heat coming out of nowhere in a public place.

[ssa-neeks-prentiss]

Everything I wasn't

Whumptober : Day Two!

BAU!team x underappreciated!reader. Mentions of Emily Prentiss x reader

Tw: Character death, feelings of loneliness, being taken advantage of.

Word count : 1.3k

Summary : You always loved them more than they loved you. And it would be the death of you.

Strauss had warned you that it would take a while for the team to get used to you. And you understood that. But you didn't account for the fact that you were still an outsider even after a year. You shrugged it off at first that it was trust issues. You had the same.

But when you were stood there, in the rain, you knew that was not the case. You were stood outside a window. A window to a restaurant to be exact. And sat inside was the team. The team and Alex. She had been there for a week at most and they already trusted her. What did she have that you didn't? Oh. Right.

She was everything you weren't. You weren't dumb but you weren't exactly smart. Not as smart as Alex at least. You had wanted to be a part of this small family. It was what you had wished for since you heard of it. And you saw it. Their tight knit family.

A family Alex was immediately accepted into while you weren't. You couldn't blame her though. She was smart, pretty and did her job a lot better than you did. But you couldn't help but feel jealous.

The envy ate you whole as you watched them. You just stood in the window watching them. Your eyes darkened with envy. You were tired of doing everything you could to fit in. So you stopped trying.

It was the small things at first. Soon, there was no coffee left and no one restocked. And not long after, Emily and Spencer found there were no longer song lyrics on post-it-notes arriving at their desk in the morning. Penelope found that she no longer had any sticky notes left, the ones that were always restocked at the start of the month. And then it turned to larger things.

You didn't input as much, only doing so if it was needed. Not like anyone listened to you anyways, all they did was hear you, ignore you, suggest your idea, get praised for it. And they found that a case that would normally take three days took a week. And no one knew what was wrong. They all blamed it on everyone's tiredness. You almost laughed at that. Of course it was.

You always knew that you were going to die because you let them take advantage of you. But it was a habit you could never let go. You felt weird leaving them so you picked up all of the habits again. The ones you swore you would never do again.

There was one case. They had found the unsub. But what they didn't account for was there being two unsubs. So when one appeared behind them and you heard the ringing of the gun. You knew what to do.

You snapped around and ran. Not away like most would think. But to Emily. She was going to get shot. But you had forgotten. You were tired both physically and mentally. You were so tired you had forgotten to put a vest on. Yet so did the rest of the team.

And as you ran. You knew. It was either yourself or Emily. And you would choose Emily every damn time. It was the same if it was any member of the team, Hotch or you? You would pick Hotch. Spence or you? Spence. It was as easy as lifting a feather. It was almost reflex. You would pick everyone but yourself.

And as you pushed Emily aside. As she turned to shout as you. As the bullet hit you. As Emily's shout of anger turned to shouts of desperation. You smiled.

"You don't know what you have until it's gone."

Famous last words. Sure. But Emily blamed herself. Maybe if she had made sure everyone had a vest on, this wouldn't have happened. But your words rang in her ears. As the light left your eyes, it rang through her mind. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

No one ever knows what they have until it was gone.

They realized that after you were gone.

They realized why the coffee was always ordered, why their files were done in the morning, why there was always their favourite snacks in the break room.

But they realized all too late. They didn't realize. Not until your desk was empty. Not until your funeral came and passed. Not until your face was framed on the wall of deaths.

They all thought of what they could've done.

Penelope cried. Maybe if she had researched into it more, she would've noticed another person so similar to the one before.

Aaron felt himself crumble. Maybe if he had remembered to get everyone to wear vests. Maybe you would still be alive.

Spencer was solemn. Maybe if he had noticed the traits of two unsubs. Maybe if he saw what he so obviously saw now before, you wouldn't be dead.

Rossi was stressed. Maybe if he had invited you to a few more dinners. You would've fell with Emily. You wouldn't have been killed.

Derek was aggressive. Maybe if he had noticed the second unsub before the gun rang, you wouldn't have had to push Emily out of the way.

Emily. And Emily blamed herself. Maybe if she had moved when the gun rang out. Maybe if she had grabbed you to fall with her. Maybe if she wasn't so dense, you would still be alive.

The team was.. Different. New agents had come and gone. None of them stayed. None of them were you.

None of them would make sure Penelope had little post it notes. None of them knew how much she liked to doodle on them when she was researching.

None of them took Hotch's paperwork so that he could go to his son, Jack, earlier. None of them asked how Jack was. Jack didn't ask where his favourite agent was now.

None would pick up Spencer's rambles and show they were listening by asking questions. None of them bothered to listen past the information needed. None of them gave Spencer little things during the day for him to research about when he finished his paperwork.

None of them put recipes on Rossi's desk. None of them asked how his daughter, Joy, was. Hell, none of them knew who Joy was!

None of them made teasing jokes with Derek. None of them had the same humor as Derek. None of them would make fun of his past as he did with you.

And.. None of them loved Emily like you did. None of them asked how she was when she went silent. None of them would smile at Emily and ask her about her interests. None of them gave her a shoulder to cry on.

None of them were you. None of them made sure they slept on the jet. None of them brought in small pastries after a bad case.

None of them had loved like you did. And that was why no one lasted. Their grief had taken over. It was different than when Emily had 'died' because Emily was shown care and love throughout her experience in the team.

While you..

While you were taken advantage of. While you weren't accepted into the family they had made early enough. While they didn't love you like you loved them. You always had a lot of love to give and you gave it to them. You gave it them a lot. But they never gave anything in return. They hadn't even given you a chance. Not a single chance.

You had given your love to people who didn't deserve it. You had given your love to people who didn't appreciate it. And you had died because of it.

They thought of the things they could've done. That they should've. But it was too late. You were gone. And it was their fault.

But you knew. It was like a curse. You could never love someone equally. You would always love them so much more than they do you.

[cyten0]

A Symphony In Crimson

Act 1: A Movement in Black

Chapter 17

… You can’t sleep. Still worrying about Sif. Their alone right now, dealing with… whatever is happening to them. Crab. You wish you had stuck it out a little longer, saw if you couldn’t get through to them. Helped them, somehow. It’s tearing you up inside, thinking about it.

You tried sleeping, and ended up with a nightmare. Sif crying blood, as something rips them apart from the inside. Not quite how it played out, but pretty close to the mark as far as nightmares go...

Maybe you need some fresh air. You quietly get out of bed, so not to wake the others. And head out-!!!

You’re greeted with a message written in blood right outside the door!!!

I am sorry.

The king will be dead by morning.

My final act.

Farewell.

Oh. Oh No. Crab NO.

▲ “Everyone wake up! We have to go, NOW!!!”

✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸

You’re resting at the tree. You don’t need sleep, but your mind still wants it. At least rest. Trying to process this. Trying to figure out what to do. You haven't even checked on Stardust. Why bother? They won’t want your help anyways. Not anymore.

You don’t feel bad about doing it. Never did. But blind it all. They shouldn’t have had to know. Not yet.

You’re awoken from your musings by a familiar voice, approaching the tree.

▲ “Sif?! SIF?!!! Where are you!!!!”

The fighter? Up this early? They look desperate. What’s happened?

✸ “Oh, dear, What has dear stardust done now?”

▲ “H-Huh?!? Who’s that?!”

You shift yourself outside your realm, right in front of them.

✸ “A friendly helper of our local white cloaked Traveler~”

▲ “W-Wait really?!?”

✸ “Of course! Was quite frankly made for that purpose~”

You take off your mask, briefly, showing the fighter your face. He seems surprised! You suppose wearing the same face as stardust has SOME perks! No need to spend time convincing them~

✸ “With that in mind, I assume they’ve gotten into some extra trouble, if your searching so frantically!”

▲ “I! He left a note, outside our room and-”

✸ “Oh? Let me see really quick~”

You shift your eyes towards the clocktower… Oh.

✸ “Oh dear, that’s not good. They’re probably already at the house then. Hm.”

▲ “Crab, I thought so. I better get the others. We have to do something.”

You can’t sit idly by at this point. It’s all coming to a head. And if Stardust's mental state is this bad, the house might be...

✸ “Allow me to help! I’ll round up the others quickly, and I’ll help guide you through the house. You’re going to need it~”

▲ “Alright, I’ll start heading over!”

✸ “...Actually, could you do something first? Something that might give us an edge.”

▲ “Huh?”

✸ “You want to save stardust, right? With all your heart?”

They look at you. And nod.

✸ “Then… Let me teach you a ritual. To make the favor tree help grant that wish…”

◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉◉

You’ve been searching around for a bit when the strange person showed up, and told you what’s happening. You’re now just waiting for the others. Oh, Siffrin…

You can’t leave them to do this. Not when their going to risk their life for you all…

There they all are!

◉ “O-Okay! We’re all here! It’s… Earlier then expected, but we were planning to fight through the house anyways!”

✸ “I’m going to stop you there, dear housemaiden~ Don’t be expecting this to be ANYTHING like what you were preparing for!”

◆ “What does that mean?”

✸ “Stardust wasn’t just dealing with 'being a horror monster' issues. If they had been, things would honestly have been fine! No, the real issue is the Timecraft at play.”

▲ “More timecraft? Did the king do something to them?”

✸ “No, I will explain as we go, but Stardust has gone through this house many times. What we need to worry about now are the seeds he’s planted in the sadnesses in prior attempts.”

Seeds? Did he do something to the sadnesses?

✿ “Wait… Is that why that sadness before was movin funny?”

✸ “Very observant, Kid! Yes, stardust can control any living thing he puts a piece of himself inside, like a living virus.”

◆ “Should we be worried about infection?”

✸ “Oh no, don’t worry, they won’t! It has to be done manually, and even if it they did for SOME reason, you’d be able to know and remove it quickly, at least early on. Honestly a bit of Pineapple juice works just fine, and the Kid has plenty!”

✿ “...Why pineapple?”

✸ “Stardust is Allergic!”

✿ “Oh okay!…. Crab, that means I can’t make pineapple stuff for them.”

Hehe, kind of relieving a little to hear such a normal answer to something scary like this! Just allergies! Helps remind you this is still Siffrin… Feels bad, thinking about that? You didn't even see the worst of it, and you're still struggling with all this.

✸ “Regardless, the problem is control isn’t all they can do. If they just eat the sadnesses for strength, we should be fine. But if they made those seeds sprout… be prepared for this house to be far, FAR more horrifying.”

Okay, so you’ve read enough horror stories to get the idea. Kind of a zombie hivemind thing? Um.

◉ “I-I mean! If Siffrin’s controlling them, we should be fine! They’d never hurt us!”

Right? They shouted a bit yesterday, and got upset, but never actually hurt?

✸ “Yes, that was the reason they infected the sadnesses in the first place~ But their still sadnesses, and stardust’s not consciously controlling them right now… Just. Be wary?”

◆ “...The warning is welcome, thank you… I’m afraid I didn’t catch your name?”

✸ “Call me Loop! It’s not a very creative title, as you’ll find out, but it’s what I have!”

You nod. And head towards the Houses gate. It’s been closed behind itself, but not locked. You use a little craft to trigger it and…

…You stare down the corridor. The walls are darkened with the King’s curse, yet living flesh seems to creep through the cracks of the stone, growing out of it like mold, yet beating like a heart. You see eyes stare out at you from the growths, looking around erratically but with the majority focused directly at you all, staring you down. The air seems to shudder within, with a rhythm you can feel but not hear.

You feel the others shaking. Even you are surprised. But. You can’t afford to hesitate. You HAVE to press on.

◉ “… Let’s go. We can do this.”

The others steel themselves, and you march in.

… The strange growths continue, all the way inside. The eyes follow your movements, and it kind of makes you worry a little. But then… You hear music?

You look for the source of the sound. And see something moving up ahead, in the darkness.

✸ “Looks like I was right. Get ready everyone.”

The creature starts shuffling towards you. As it approaches you can see it more clearly. It looks like a sadness at first. But… There is a pale white mask, fused onto it’s face. The openings for it’s eyes are a lightless void. And it’s body… dark tendrils seem to peek out from it’s edges, it’s limbs seem skinned the way flesh has fused itself onto it’s liquid body, it’s hands are formed into cutting blades of bone and sinew, and it moves like it’s being picked up by invisible strings. Yet it doesn’t stop singing.

You ready your rapier. The others follow suit.

You charge forwards, piercing it’s heart, and filling it with craft power. You watch as it barely flinches, even as the injury rips it apart. You back off, as it takes a swing towards you. It’s blow cracks the ground as it hits, but Isa takes the opening to knock it off it’s feet. It falls to the ground, unmoving. But then lifts off the ground, and it’s body twists around towards him. Odile then fires off a paper craft to blast it into the wall.

◆ “Please let that be it.”

You watch as it doesn’t move for a bit.

Before suddenly raising it’s head and charging at you all like a feral beast! It’s so fast, you don’t have time to-

BANG

A hole pierces through the creatures mask, and it stops dead, before dissolving into water and blood.

You turn, and see Bonnie holding a strange device.

✿ “… Eyes glowed funny whenever it got up. Gotta be a weak spot.”

◆ “...Huh. Good eye, Boniface. But also. What was that?”

✿ “Oh, yeah, Frin gave it to me. Said it’s a craft revolver. I wanted to help fight, so...”

▲ “Huh. Sif gave you that huh?”

✸ “That they did. You’re a good shot, Kid.”

✿ “H-Huh!? No, I… I hit Frin last time I used it. I didn’t wanna use it but…”

✸ “You only did that because you were scared!… Look, you might not know it, but you have a very good track record with that thing! You once went through the entire house without ever missing a single shot~”

✿ “Huh? What’s that mean?”

✸ “Like I said, Timecraft~ This day has happened a few times!”

Bonnie looks at the craft revolver.

You look at the stain where the sadness was. Even for horror stuff, that was...

◉ “S-Sorry to change topics but… Did Siffrin… Really do that? Did they… make that thing?”

✸ “Yes~ I hope you’ve gotten used to it! There’s almost CERTAINLY more where that came from!”

▲ “Well, at least we know their weakness. Hit them in the face!”

✸ “Fire would also probably work. Stardust had that fear for a reason, after all!”

◆ “Not that we have much access to that right now. But worth knowing, I suppose.”

You nod. Alright. You have a plan! So. Let’s keep moving.

You go a little further, and- Wait, something’s moving above you!

A sadness drops down next you you, and starts to make a swing!

…? It. Stops. Inches from your face.

It stumbles backwards, and starts to twitch and writhe. It’s singing devolves into screeching!

And then it… stabs itself. Over and over. Until… it drops dead….

✸ “… It seems Stardust is still subconsciously controlling them. Good!”

▲ “That… Crab. That was… brutal.”

✸ “Still, too close for comfort! Best not drop your guard, anyways~”

You can’t move. You… heard something. While screeching. Just for a second… it…

◉ “It sounded. Almost like Siffrin…”

✸ “… At this point, I’d say these things are basically half Stardust… Don’t let that stop you! They’ll still try to kill you, even if part of them will try and hold back~”

You… Nod. And keep moving on… What could have pushed things this far?

>>>

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

You all have been making good progress through the house. The deeper in you go, the more odd growths there are, and the more twisted the sadnesses. You’ve even seen entire hands and maws growing out of the walls. This cannot be healthy. Moreover, that eerie rythmic feel in the air just keeps getting worse. The sadnesses singing seems to keep to that invisible tune.... But despite everything, Loop has been guiding you through the paths well.

Loop. Strange character, they are. Oddly cheerful during all this, or at least faking it. They know far more about all of this then you. Best get information, while you all are making your way towards Siffrin.

◆ “So, Loop. You said you were here to help Siffrin? I presume with this?”

✸ “Sort of! I wouldn’t need to exist if the monster stuff was the only problem~ But a different issue exasperated it significantly.”

▲ “Really? Mind telling us?”

✸ “Of course! First of all, I should mention the forces at play~ The first being wishcraft! It’s the power to turn desires into reality, with the right rituals~

▲ "Like that favor tree thing you asked me to do?"

✸ "Correct! There’s more to it, but The king used a different ritual to gain their powers over time. But their not the only one! Another desire gave stardust the power to turn back time in desperate situations~”

✿ “Woah, Really?!?”

✸ “Yes! Stardust knew the rituals of course, they were born in the land that made wishcraft~ But a simple wish they made on a favor tree acted as a lightning rod for a much bigger wish!”

◉ “W-What wish was that?”

✸ “...The wish of all of Vaugarde. To be saved from the king~ A desire as strong as that was more then powerful enough to turn back time many, many times! I think we’re a little over a hundred at this point?”

A hundred?! Awfully casual about that.

▲ “That many times?!? Did we never beat the king?!?”

✸ “That’s the Issue. You did! But something went wrong. By that point, a little flaw turned the whole situation on it’s head~”

◆ “What would that be?”

✸ “Two things. One, Stardust's hunger carried over attempts. And they have a much bigger appetite then the Kid's snacks can do~ I could mitigate that somewhat, pulling in prey for them from elsewhere, even if options were limited.”

Loop rounds a corner, and snaps his fingers, as a sadnesses falls down, it’s head vanished from it’s shoulders, only to appear at Loops feet, who promptly crushes it. Efficient, aren’t they?

✸ “Sadnesses aren’t nutritious, but it’s not exactly like there was a lot of wildlife in Vaugarde to hunt~ Which led to the other issue! By the time Siffrin beat the king, they were too weak to keep up their human disguise for much longer.”

▲ “Disguise? Were they always like… this?”

✸ “Indeed! Their face and name is borrowed from before they swore off their more… Disastrous tendencies.”

◆ “Disastrous? Compared to this?!...How bad was it?!”

✸ “Well, Their old home was a certain Island north of Vaugarde~”

You all take a moment. Hunting your memory for anything… Wait. You. DON’T remember it. But. You remember that’s a thing, isn’t it? That everyone forgot?!...Were they-?

✸ “I see it just clicked~ They most likely didn’t make people forget, probably! But It WAS likely done to stop our dear traveler~ ...But what we do know is that, from what little they remember..."

Loop turns towards you all. Eyes grim. Voice cold.

✸ "Everyone there is dead. Every. Last. One.”

T-that... no way!!!

◉ “Change!”

▲ “Crab!”

◆ “Gems!”

✿ "...h-huh?"

No wonder Siffrin hid this! They're a walking Calamity! An entire COUNTRY wiped out overnight?!?!!

✸ “They don’t remember why they did it. But they’ve held that guilt ever since.”

...None of you know how to respond to that. It’s terrifying, thinking little Siffrin is capable of that. Would ever do something like that. But more then that… How that must hurt…

You remember your mother. How when you were younger, you sometimes felt it was your fault they left. You can’t imagine how that must feel for your entire home…

✿ “...But frin wouldn’t hurt anyone now, right?”

✸ “Not willingly, no~ And it would take a LOT to push them past that point!"

You figured not, but it's still a relief to hear.

✸ "Again, over a hundred loops, and only NOW are they even willing to do anything like this, even to the KING! They’d rather just be human… Which gets to the issue we’re dealing with now.”

◉ “O-Oh, right. You said… they were weak, after the king? What happened then?”

✸ “Stardust’s own wish kicked in! I can’t remember quite what it was! It wouldn’t be my place to say even if I did~ But they believe they’d need to be human after this all in order to do it. And because that wasn’t an option, The wish forced Siffrin back, to try again~”

Believe they would? Worth looking into. But you can see how that turned out.

◆ “I see. But since they only ended up like that because of going back so much…”

✸ “You catch on quick, Researcher! For the past two days, Stardust has been in an unending loop of the same two days, slowly starving to death~ We only recently figured out the cause!"

Not a lot of time to test options then.

✸ "And now? ...Stardust is desperate. So their making a last ditch effort to end things.”

▲ “Does it have something to do with the king? Is that why they came here?”

✸ “Correct! The king can stop time, prevent it from going forwards. And potentially, backwards! What would happen if Stardust stole the King’s wish, and shoved it into their own?”

Hm. There’s a certain logic to that. But that sounds tricky.

◉ “Can that even work?!?”

✸ “Maybe! It could also permanently kill them, since their doing it by force! Which I suppose solves it either way~”

What!?!… So that’s what they meant by their final act! They aren’t planning to live through this!... Gems, your head is running a mile a minute, trying to take this all in.

◆ “… This is a lot to take at once. And we barely know you…”

Loops cheerful demeanor gives way to dead seriousness.

✸ “I was based on stardust. I showed you my face. I have a share of their memories. I was sent to help them through this mess, and I’ll happily die to get them out... But I also understand these actions. The alternative is far worse…”

✿ “No it’s not! Nothin would be worse then frin getting themselves killed! That’s dumb!”

You’d like to agree. Issues aside, Siffrin shouldn’t have to die for this.

✸ “You sure? Because if they kept going, eventually there’s only one food source left. Like I said, sadnesses won’t cut it, and there are no animals. Normal food isn’t enough, not unless supplemented with something bigger. Tell me, what do you think that leaves?”

You think. It’s a given it needs to be a living creature, at this point, given what you know of their diet and how meat based it is. But the only things living at this point are…

◆ “… People.”

The others stare at you. Not knowing what to say. You know who would have been on the menu eventually. And the very idea of that...

✸ “...You get the desperation now, don’t you?”

None of you know how to respond to that…

...They’ve been looking at you all this whole time, their body telling them to kill you all. Fighting it every second. Did they never give in?… No. Loop’s implied as much. That they never would.

◆ “… They never did it though, did they? The way you talk about it, they’ve had ample opportunity. Not like we would remember.”

✸ “But They would remember. They’d happily die before that.”

You look over the twisted house… Siffrin is willing to die to protect you from this…

They’ve been fighting themselves to not hurt you for who knows how long…. You would do horrible things for your allies here. But. It seems your not the only one. This twisted horror show that you stand in, it’s always been there, this entire journey. But Siffrin threw themselves through this hell for you all. And kept it all bottled up inside them, so you all would never see.

...If they’ve taken things this far… What can you do at this point?… They understand it far more then you do. And… They’ve already accepted death...

◉ “… We won’t let it come to that.”

You look at Mirabelle.

✿ “Yeah! Frin don’t gotta get hurt for this! T-They aren’t a bad person!”

▲ “Yeah! We aren’t letting anything happen to Sif!”

...Heh. Gems, despite everything... You believe them.

◆ “I daresay we can think of SOMETHING.”

You look at Loop... Hm? Are they… Crying?

✸ “… Stars, I half believe you when you say that... Well then~ First we have to go save them from the king!”

Right. Best pick up the pace! No idea how much time you have left. You start hunting your notes as you move, for any crafts that might help.

◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉◆▲✿◉

You'll get Siffrin out of this! You WILL save them!

[mordacitatis]

thought on the topic of ai, particularly word generators. if, for example, someone used chatgpt to write the rest of grrm's book(s), and then someone sent the generated ideas to him a la fanfic (which we all should know NOT to do), would that cause him to be unable to use any of the stuff in the story? like. if he (accidentally) read it i guess.

saw the authors suing chatgpt post and was hmmmm. hurrrm.

[khufiya-khaufnak-antariksh]

So earlier today I introduced some of my WIPs to some new people, and I realised that many people might not be familiar with those two WIPs.

Kriya Petri: fantasy (with body horror & dystopian elements). Setting: A country called Fillor on a planet called Thuluke. In Fillor, to bind yourself to the one you love, you require a trinamate potion to seal the bond. 'Trinamate' is marriage (though that is a rather crude translation of the word). But to get a trinamate potion legally, the couple needs to be… acceptable. A man and a woman who plan to have at least one child. Yes, it's been 1000 years since the global apocalypse, but 'sufficient reproduction' is still a concern among the Filore people (plus it's a moral virtue for the Divine Monarchy, who reside on the cloudlands, with an iron grip on the institutes of Fillor). A potioneer wants to elope with their lover, but the pair is, let's just say, not acceptable. So what are they to do? The potioneer brews a trinamate potion on their own, finding the closely guarded methods & ingredients for the potion through who-knows-who, bunch of shady people. The potion explodes. The potioneer knows the punishment for something like this. They'll be condemned to Kaewoe (so will their lover, if anyone finds out), a realm so deep below the ground that it's close to the core of the planet. Kaewoe, where the mind & body are destroyed by the horribly high concentration of magic. Kaewoe, the names & lives & loves of all who enter it, all slowly turned to unknowledge. Good thing stealing identities is absurdly easy in Fillor! The potioneer wipes all memory of their crimes & love (or else the Thought magicians would know), flees to the city of Naebo. Their name is now Kriya Petri,

.

Welcome To The Real World: scifi, fantasy, surrealism, horror, tragedy

This one's in very early stages Inspired by Frankenstein Setting: The Great South Asian Rip in Reality, where physics (time & space both) is just completely twisted. The year is sometime in the 2070s. Sometimes it's the 2040s outside the Rip. Depends when/where you step out. Moh-maya, reality's very fabric & everything that keeps up the illusions that comprise reality, are very malleable in here. Main character: Kabir aka Moksh. A closeted Indian trans man who lives a double life, perhaps even a triple life. One in which he's a cis woman & a regular bright STEM student (STEM studies also include study of moh-maya). Another in which he's just some guy with good friends (the most authentic of his lives), where he goes by the name Kabir & uses moh-maya to present as his true self. If only temporarily. (it's painful, mentally & physically, whenever he has to revert to the female form). The third is some mad scientist bullshit, he's going by the name of Moksh among his fellow mad scientists & his main project is a moh-maya Frankenstein's monster that others can share their consciousness with, such that they can experience shape-shifting more easily & go where they physically aren't, do things they physically can't. Let's simply call it the 'entity'. Due to many reasons, creating this entity is pretty illegal. Hence the new name & collaboration with fellow shady people. the plot, put shortly: he starts doing vigilante justice w/the entity & then goes far & gets more & more consumed w/work & things go verrrrrrryyyyyy wrong despite starting with (dubious but) good intentions.

in this second one i neglected to mention the fact that you, as the reader, get front row tickets to the main character's spiral into madness & justifying murders thru the entity + the entity is a whole person & has opinions + a whole lot of other stuff, I DID mention that this WIP is in very early stages but holy fuck i could go on & on about it (just not in a way that can be packaged in a structured & sensible introduction)

[kyuala]

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

[thethingything]

we have an especially bad migraine where I noticed us getting aura (mostly being pissed off and upset in a specific way) for several hours before it started and we've taken pain meds but I'm not sure they've actually helped. they have definitely given us side effects though and I feel very spaced out and nauseous and generally shit.

we've also had way worse ADHD symptoms for the last few days to the point of being pretty much unable to focus on anything besides like 2 things we've hyperfixated on. we've had so much trouble starting tasks and keep struggling to hold a train of thought or focus long enough to even figure out what we need to do each day despite having all our Habitica dailies to tell us.

our brain is all over the place and I'm not really sure what to do with it or what would help but it's just occurred to me that sometimes our ADHD gets really bad in the buildup to some of our worst migraines and now I'm just hoping that both the migraine and other shit ease off soon because I'd like to be able to function