#or it could have been an issue when they first started getting made?

[demilypyro]

Ok so as someone who knows very little about sonic characters that aren't the main cast. Can you explain to me who Surge is? (I am asking you to infodump. I understand I could just check the wiki but then you wouldn't get to talk about a character you like)

Alright you asked for it. Long post attack.

So Eggman had this protege named Doctor Starline, who had a falling out with his mentor and hatched a plan to kill Sonic and replace him with a new hero, one who would take Sonic's place in the eyes of the people but be under his control.

So he kidnapped a random girl off the street (no name or history known at this point), filled her with a bunch of cybernetics to give her superpowers, and slowly brainwashed and trained her into becoming essentially Sonic's equivalent of Wario.

This was Surge the Tenrec.

As Sonic's so-called "imposter," Surge is like an exaggerated version of Sonic. She has his heroic heart, but also his temper, his pride, his irresponsibility, his rudeness, all turned up to 11. She's got the standard super speed, as well as electrokinesis - lightning powers. She's accompanied by Kitsunami, or just Kit, a blue fennec with water powers and a similar background, but who was based on Tails instead.

As part of their brainwashing, Surge was conditioned to hate Sonic. As Surge's backup, Kit was conditioned to want to support Surge in any way he can.

Surge and Kit eventually found out what had happened to them, how Starline had kidnapped and brainwashed them, and were planning to betray him. Before they could, however, Starline was killed, after being thoroughly trounced by Eggman, leaving Surge and Kit free to do whatever they want.

When Surge finally encountered Sonic, she blamed him for what had happened to her. She holds him responsible for always letting Eggman survive to come back another day, leading to ever-escalating conflict. While before she had no real reason to hate him beyond her brainwashing, all that baseless animosity now had a foundation, and she's wanted to take him down since. Surge and Kit have had several fights with Sonic and Tails already, and while they were defeated each time, it's clear they pose a real threat.

Left with only each other, and having no real goals beyond taking down Sonic and Tails, and no hints to their past, Surge and Kit became a neutral force of chaos, not affiliated with either Sonic or Eggman. While Surge has the desire to be a hero, she can't let go of her grudge toward Sonic, and Kit's obsession with helping Surge regularly shows itself to be unhealthy, which may lead to a falling out between them in the future.

Since their first appearance in the Impostor Syndrome mini-series, they've made regular appearances in the main comic starting with issue #50. They've been making waves, establishing new rivalries and inciting new conflicts. Sonic wants to believe there's good in Surge, but she's a tough nut for him to crack.

Surge is one of the series' best original characters. Surge is cool, has an interesting origin, and she contrasts Sonic in a way that gives ample opportunities for new stories. She's got a good heart, but she's carrying around a ton of trauma and animosity she doesn't know what to do with. She's scrappy, resourceful, and more introspective than you might expect. And by often being positioned as the underdog, she's very easy to root for.

I was always a bit uninterested in the Sonic series at large, but Surge really got me on board. She really made me a fan.

She's my favorite Sonic character.

If you're interested, look into the Imposter Syndrome mini-series, which leads right into Sonic IDW issue #50, or you can just read Sonic IDW from the start.

Okay bye

[lostatsea-blog]

When the Camera's Not Looking

Alexia Putellas x Football Reader

Sometimes media responsibility can be too much

Football was your life. Football had been your life since you were a small child growing up in the North of England. All the times you were told girls couldn’t have a career in football made you even more determined to prove them wrong. Football had taken you all over the world to many different countries allowing you to play in many different teams; until you arrived in Barcelona. Football was your life and football had also given you the love of your life.

You had known of Alexia Putellas for most of your career (any football player who didn’t was either lying or not that into football). You had watched her game and admired her skill; you had even gone head-to-head in a couple of insane matches but Alexia the football icon and Alexia the person were two very different things.

You had been captivated from the second you arrived on the training pitch. Her fierce determination, unwavering dedication and drive to succeed were well known. You imaged she would be a larger-than-life character, arrogant and cocky like most top level footballers were; what you imaged could not have been further from who she was. What had captivated you was her gentle nature, her shy smile, her generosity of spirit and the nerves that were present in every situation except on the pitch. The more you got to know her, the more you wanted to wrap her up and protect her from the world and its judgement.  

Very quickly you started to seek her out both during training and after training. You connected well on the pitch and you were eager to get to know her off the pitch. She had been reluctant at first determined to maintain her captain façade but then to your surprise, one day after training she agreed to get coffee with you. From that first coffee date neither of you could deny the chemistry between you. The conversation had flowed easily despite the language issue (your Spanish wasn’t the best and her English was a work in progress) and the playful banter more than a little flirtatious. It did not take long for your teammates to pick up on the changes occurring in your relationship.  

As the months passed, Alexia started to let down more and more of her boundaries and that is when you became aware of how much her media responsibilities took out of her. She would be filled with anxiety beforehand afraid that she would mess up or make herself look stupid; afraid that she would let the club down or somehow embarrass her family. What people did not realise was that while Alexia loved football, she hated the attention that came with it. You could read her anxiety in every photoshoot, in every advert and in every interview and you wished that you could whisk her away. Instead, you settled for being her safety blanket. When she had busy media days where she had to keep up her persona, she would come home to you. She would crawl onto your lap and bury her face into your shoulder while you held her. You would squeeze her tightly and feel her release a deep breath against your skin as the tension left her body, then she would fall asleep against you. Alexia was too important to hide away from the world but once it was done and the wood of your door blocked out the world, you would be the safety she needed to drop the persona and just be Ale.  

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES FINISHES KOTOR!

i planned on going to bed early tonight but the kotor brainworms made me finish the game and WHAT A GAME MAN!!! anyway sessions 10-12:

the t in ten stands for traumatised

i love how i was like omg i hope i find revan and theyre my best friend! but the second i found out i was revan i was screaming and running away like NOPE NO GET OUT OF HERE

just want it to be noted that in the hours between playing this morning and now ive repeatedly caught myself just staring into space w blank expression its all ive thought abt all day like what has this game DONE to me

i literally had to make a revan playlist earlier lmao i havent even finished the game

also i searched revan on my blog and turns out last year i got an ask where i discovered revan was a customisable protagonist and yet i still walked into this spoiler free, meaning i managed to outrun spoilers via stupidity or having a horrible memory or both. im the ultimate anti-spoiler machine

tbh it didnt help that i thought revan was a bloke for at least the first like, 6 hours

you know one of my first ideas when i first started the game was "this character is going to die and then i will play as revan" and after the first mission i was like "well surely there must be a segment where you play as revan where did i get the idea that you play as revan from" the mental gymnastics i did around the truth are impressive this game gaslit me SO hard

i know its been like 8 hours since i experienced it but if anyone calls me revan again i will start crying anyway lets find carth's son and get this star map

i still cant think of revan as myself it feels like shes some dead sister i never met that's not me i cant compute it

i get why one of the options earlier was "oh i understand bastila" but i did not pick that bc SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL THEY DID USE ME!!! LIKE!

anyway time to have one of my first times playing a party without b-dog ): ill get u back babygirl (hold out for me plz dont get darksided) ill bring murderbot or the child soldier for now

ah i love carth and mission arguing. carth has no people skills

im sorry we've had a spice shipment onboard this whole time??? i wouldve liked to have known that some hours ago substance abuse would definitely help my identity issues

aw carth n mission made up! [lie/persuade] i agree she's not just a kid we should tooootally have her in active combat situations

this sith academy is crazy wdym ppl r out here starving and dying to get in

i love that i said my companions were slaves

wtf theres only one bed. okay mission you can have the bed me and carth can sleep on the floor

onasi i recognise that sur-- DUSTIL?? SHIT CARTH ONASI OH MY GOD I FORGOR

well that went about as well as bastila's family reunion. it's okay tho cause the parental issue solver is on the case carth i will have this shit fixed asap

these tombs suck

i love that my party members have stopped following me this is useful and great i love having to manually move them everywhere 10/10 gaming

im avoiding the dark side options so hard rn idc if i'll get less prestige i CANNOT risk going evil IM NOT REVAN

ive had so many options to be like "well get fucked im darth revan" but i dont want to get laughed at or anything so im just gonna stay quiet

also i still havent accepted it and i think saying i was revan might make my character find the panic attack dialogue option

ok we got kidnapped and electrocuted by a kiddie fiddler and that seemed to fix the companions not following me problem

slay i just stole the master's ipad and that solved dusty's daddy issues. literally i could have fixed the original trilogy im so good at parental issues if i was born 4000 years later there wouldve been no star wars movies it'd be chill

sw fix-it au: revan is just There

aww theyre bonding <3 <3 <3 <3

yay i did enough stuff to enter the tomb <3 cool i'll do that later

hilarious that mr sith master was like ok fine i will declare u the victor when everyone else who applied is either dead or left the building

ELEVEN ALSO RHYMES WITH REVAN AND i'm still not over it man

god gives his toughest battles (my friend was having boyfriend problems) to his bravest soldiers (me who wanted to start playing kotor again immediately after dinner but had to be a good friend and help her)

anyway back to REAL problems. let's go get this starmap

i dislike seeing malak on the opening screen now. he literally tried to blow me up and he may have killed or kidnapped bastila i dont wanna see that bitch

can we use our force bond to like. message bastila and check she's ok bc im taking everything this game said as foreshadowing and she talked a LOT about how no jedi is immune to the dark side you know. can we make malak hasnt reverse-revan'd her

looked up a walkthrough for that pillar business cause its late and while i know it would feel satisfying to get it right, i can't be assed

pillar isn't a word anymore

oh i kinda thought if i sided w yuthara i'd be able to talk her into going lightside but wompwomp

oh yay a talk!

ok she left i got lightside points thats close enough

lets get out of here before anyone starts questioning why i came back alone from the tomb

omg lena from mission's brother's girlfriend… and shes not a bitch???? oh my god griff was the bitch lena sounds so nice lets go to tatooine

im realising ive probably missed out on a lot of sidequests by only taking b-dog and carth out for missions but uhhh

i understand that it's very important that we save the galaxy by finding this star forge but you know what i love more than saving the galaxy? drama. we're going to find mission's brother

MALAK WAS THE ORIGINAL MEATBAG

man the evil stuff sounds bad but come on revan-me had a good sense of humour. meatbag (:

fuck me sideways with a toothbrush we've got to go do walking simulator in the sand dunes again to find mission's brother

this game really makes you understand luke skywalker bc i too would be desperate to leave this planet if i spent more than a week here

oh my god so youre saying if i just walked around the full tusken base then i wouldve found mission's brother. this is what i get for not exploring every nook and cranny

im not giving griff shit. u just know in the modern day he'd have a podcast and constantly share those entrepreneur tips on instagram, thinking he was an alpha male when he has $2 and no bitches

my textures arent loading in this is so funny everything is yellow and white

ok heres the plan its very late i should be in bed but this is probably the final mission so im gonna get ready for bed and then come back to this and we're gonna pretend i make healthy life choices and that i'm not addicted to this game

session 12! yep!

and it's been so long it's definitely the morning now so theres a whole new session it's definitely not only been 10 minutes since the last bullet point and im definitely not gonna play this all night

i make healthy life decisions lets find this star forge babygirls

NOO GET AWAY FROM MY FRIEND BASTILA YOU EGGFUCKER GET AWAY

i hope the star forge has a bin i can toss malak into

christ on a bike thats a lot of ships

this secret star forge planet is lovelyyyyy. vacation planet

btw my save file is called 'tanalorr is mine' and this planet is… well its making me feel validated for calling it that

why do these ppl keep attacking me im just a chill guy

of course theres an energy shield. theres always some kind of energy shield

are u being fr? mandalorians?? get a job u guys.

omg the fish guys know im revan????

omg YOU CAN LEARN LANGUAGES W THE FORCE?? INCREDIBLE

well presumably i missed the nonlethal option to get the scout back cause i am killing this entire base rn

omg who cares im maxed out light side i have lightbeams behind me in the character menu

every time someone talks abt me n malak goin somewhere when we were besties makes me sad. like i get i was revan and evil then but still we were besties ): now we're enemies ):

great. the bad guys are gonna be inside waiting for me. this is so uncharted-core

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MALAK’s FACE HOW IS HE ALIVE THATS SO MUCH JAW GONE

is that--?? bastila queen why r u wearing black

NOO HER ASS GOT TRILLA'D!!

ok i think that convo went ok i got lightside points im gonna get her back

well aside from bastila and the murder of an entire village i think that went very well lets go sodomise a star forge

i really have got to stop using the english language in the way i do. we're gonna defeat the star forge how about that. thats better

MASTER TORTIMER SURVIVED

YAY MY GIZKA ARE BACK ONBOARD!!!!!!!!!

bringing HK cause i want him to call malak a meatbag again

love that malak's like the droids will defeat the jedi when i literally have the destroy droid ability. get fucked eggbitch

these fights are just getting annoying now where are these guys even coming from

you know what? i dont wanna fight these twats im just gonna walk away and head to where i wanna go without fighting

tf why cant i open

its rlly funny that im revans master when he called bastila a child and its implied we’re a similar age

B-DOG!! COME TO THE LIGHT

FAT W I REDEEMED BASTILA

wow we have to get off this space station before our allies blow it up, meanwhile i have to fight a bald guy with breathing problems who was responsible for a crazy reveal in the second act. deja vu…

the bastila boss fight was easy-as so i assume the malak one is gonna fucking suck

i worked out how to stop him turning the jedi into sundried tomatoes

malak is so much taller than me lmao

bit sad i didnt get to have hk call malak a meatbag again and also what happened to his face we never covered that

YEAHH WOOOOOOOOO

ooh an honour guard… a hero’s welcome

YAYYYYY MEDAL CEREMONY CLASSIC STAR WARS

taking screenshots of the gang together like a parent with their kids

IM GRINNING SO HARD RN

I DID IT I FINISHED THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A GOOD GAME GODDAMN. GAME OF THE YEAR IDC IF IT CAME OUT 22 YEARS AGO oh my god me n this game r basically the same age wtf

and i did it in true potes-star-wars-games fashion bc its way past midnight as it was when i finished jfo and js <3

ANYWAY HOLY SHIT!! WHAT A GAME!!!!! that plot im going completely and utterly insane over that plot i see why revan is such an aggressive fan favourite its not a time of day (night) that i can come up w coherent thoughts but wow. wow!

definitely want to replay as a dark sider at some point (and maybe mod the shit out of the game too)

thankfully ive already bought the sequel (and been informed of the restored content thing) so thats ready to go whenever im ready to give up my entire life for a kotor addiction again! yippee!

what a good story. gameplay was fairly fun despite its often-awfulness until the ending where it got a bit tedious and i felt like a diabetic with how much i was injecting myself in the leg but like! THE STORY!!!! THE CHARACTERS!!! EBON HAWK CREW MY BESTEST FRIENDS

man!

well. im not gonna shut up abt this for a while am i. look all im saying is i should probably drop a weather warning on u all cause the kotor fandom is not ready for the fanart tidal wave known as stealingpotatoes that about to hit them. batten down your fuckin hatches

KOTOR MY BEAUTIFUL BEST FRIEND MY WIFE I LOVE YOU MWAH GOOD NIGHT MY SWEET PRINCE

also to u, gentle reader, thank u for joining me on this journey <3 i hope u had as much fun as i did lmao

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[ruruvxz]

brat - SNEAK PEAK

Lara Raj x Female Reader x Megan Skiendiel

~ synopsis: You've never really been an emotional drunk, that was until your boyfriend left you for your closest friend that things started to spiral for you. Tonight at one of you recurring escapades at one of the locals pubs near your apartment, you unknowingly stumble across two girls. Two girls you didn't know now, who would change the trajectory of your life, whether it was for the good— or the bad, you just needed something to take you off the edge. And so, Lara and Megan knew exactly how to do that, but at what cost?

~ cw: three part series, alcoholism, commitment issues, mentions of previous relationship with a man, fluff, swearing, love triangle(?), everyone here is toxic

~ wc: N/A

(a/n: sigh. I’m gonna discontinue “the woman who left too soon” LAWL!!! Cus these apps pmo and literally take so much storage 💔💔I’m going back to writing cus that’s so much easier. anyways sneak peak ^_^)

brat,

365 PARTYGIRL, B2B, GIRL SO CONFUSING

Lara and Megan never had the issue of sharing, even during training days, they managed to share everything they owned with one another. Their clothes, their jewelry, and even their secrets, no aspect about themselves wasn't shared with one another. The bond between the two girls was unshakable, though that didn't negate the fact that in some circumstances both the girls could be quite... passionate. After a long marathon of double dates, they couldn't possibly find their other halves, each guy and girl who they spoke to didn't ignite a spark within them.

Maybe staying single would've been a lot easier, but that's boring! Both the girls took their only opportunity to sneak out to seek refuge in a club, not seeking anything more but to get lucky tonight. That was until they stood sipping on their cheap beer when Lara set her eyes on your figure. The obnoxious lighting made it hard to tell you out, but her odd fascination drew her closer to you. What felt like hours of staring for Lara, was mere seconds for Megan, as her interest also piqued.

"Who the hell are you looking at, Lara?" Megan pried, tugging onto Lara's waist belt loop, Lara only gave a little head nudge at the general direction of where you stood. Megan fixated her eyes, grasping at the glass, her eyes widened when the light reflected from your infectious smile.

Maybe it was the ambience of the club, but she was instantly hooked and Lara sensed that the ginger had similar intentions as her. "Isn't she gorgeous?" Lara mumbled, watching the Hawaiian as she checked the girl out from the other side of the bar. "I'm gonna talk to her—“ Megan spoke, about to walk off before her wrist was quickly nabbed by the desi girl.

"What the fuck are you doing?" The red head bit as she yanked her back over to the table, "I literally saw her first, so why would YOU ever go over there and talk to her Mei."

Megan scoffed as she pulled her hand away from Lara's grasp, ‘What the hell was her problem' Megan thought before she spoke. "What are you even on about, if you care so much how about you talk to her then."

"Great idea, Meg." The desi laughed before pushing Megan out of the way, leaving the ginger utterly shocked at her change of demeanor. "Wha- Come back here! I was kidding!"

Lara just laughed at the ginger trying to plead her case, turning in her heels to walk into your general vicinity, practically hopping over to you as your friends you where previously with dispersed. Bringing the shot glass to your lips, you took another fiery swig of the vodka, your eyes almost bloodshot, as tears were biting back from pouring. ‘Shit, where you crying?’ Lara thought as she approached you, from a far, the way you laughed, and smiled, she wouldn’t have ever expected in a million years that you’d look so disheartened.

But of course, that didn’t sway her, not one bit, once she was fixated on something, it was hard for her to ever let it go. She approached closer to you, your hands slithering to another shot of vodka the bartender quickly poured for you. Despite everything, you still looked as wonderful in her eyes, she’s seen her fair share of broken things, but you by far were the most beautiful of them all.

The way the strobe lights bounced off your face, or the way everything seemed so fitted to your body as you sat letting trickles of liquid fall down from your lips towards your chin. It made her look insane just staring at you. And despite how you lacked any sobriety in your bones, you noticed her looming presence almost instantly. Even in this club setting she stuck out like a sore thumb, she was much too pretty to be loitering around a place like this, and she didn’t look all that much of a plentiful drinker.

She approached your seat on the bar, sitting on your left hand side, trying her hardest to be slick, but it very much came off as the opposite. You jerked your head up to look at her, giving her a soft smile before indicating for two more shots. Lara looked at you in disbelief where you really going to have two more shots? That was until the bartender handed you the two drinks that you slid one over to her with a smile.

The silence between the two was palpable, she just stared down at the shot awkwardly as you carefully watched her reaction. It took a minute or two before finally breaking the silence between the both of you. “You got a staring problem.” You slurred, coming off more aggressive than you’d like, “What?” She bit staring back at her as her eyebrow raised.

“Haha— No sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” You hiccuped raising your head up and turning your body towards her, “I meant like… fuck— You just kept staring, I was wondering if you wanted to say something.” You laugh indicating at where she stood beforehand, clearly insinuating that you had seen both her and Megan staring at you moments prior.

“Ah…” The redhead gasped, before laughing with you loudly, the interaction flowed seamlessly as she spoke. “No, sorry, you were right. I was just taken aback by you— your breathtaking.” She complimented, raising up the vodka and taking a fast swing at it.

“Oh! So I guess we both misunderstood the situation!” You giggle softly to yourself before doing the same, taking a swing at your glass and practically leaving it empty as you place it back down on the countertop.

“Anywho I’m Y/N, nice to meet you…?”

“Lara.”

“Nice to meet you Lara.” The way she spoke felt like swimming in honey, it was slow and addictive, not to mention the fact she looked at you like her next meal made it all the more enjoyable as you chatted about mindless conversation. Although this didn’t go unnoticed by the poor roommate Lara just ditched, her blood seemingly boiled seeing the two of you.

Not only had Lara managed to bag another girl that Megan had wanted, but the fact that she ditched her was the icing on top. And lord knows Megan wasn’t just gonna let that slide, the ginger hooked her handbag over her shoulder and walked over to the two girls. Angrily plopping a seat on your right side, shooting Lara a dangerous look before persuading the bartender to get her any beverage he could conjure up. Honestly the desi girl couldn’t care less, but she was amused by the Hawaiian and her antics, so she continued to shoot her shot at you.

“You know… you’re absolutely stunning— has anyone told you that?” She complimented, bringing her hand up over to the edge of a strand of hair, twirling it for a moment before pulling away.

Before you could speak, the bartender handed you an espresso martini that you never ordered, “Oh! Uhm sir this isn’t mine…” You mumbled as you raised the glass towards him, the ginger girl who sat next to you spoke up.

“It is yours.” The girl laughed, “I ordered it for you, pretty.” She giggled pointing at the glass and then pointed at herself, “You look like someone who’d enjoy a good cocktail.” Megan smiled as she raised her hand out to shake your hand, and you reciprocated the gesture. “Megan. And you?”

“Hah… thank you Megan… Gosh I feel so popular today.” You joked, referring to the two girls who suddenly started talking to you, your back faced to Lara as she glared into Megan’s soul, mentally cursing her out for ruining the perfect moment. Megan laughed at your witty response, looking at Lara, sticking her tongue out playfully before focusing back to you.

“I wouldn’t doubt it you’re beautiful.” Megan slyly complimented, bringing her hand to your shoulder, leaving the redhead to scowl at her actions. “I second that.” Lara butted in, bringing her hand onto your other shoulder.

“Haha…” You laugh awkwardly sensing the tension between the two girls, before jerking your head over to the entrance of the club, watching two familiar silhouettes. Your best friend— well ex best friend and her new boyfriend— YOUR BOYFRIEND hand in hand, with no care in the world. “Shit!” You shouted to yourself, catching the two girls off guard as you ducked down to hide your face. The whole reason you came to these clubs to drink your heart out was because of them, and now they were out here ruining your perfect ‘sanctuary’.

“Y/n! Are you okay?” Megan spoke up as you hid your head onto the counter. “No!”

[felassan]

Mark Darrah video: 'Dragon Age: The Veilguard Has Shipped. Now What?? #/masseffect'

Video description:

"Dragon Age: The Veilguard has shipped. What happens at BioWare now? BioWare structurally finds itself in uncharted territory as it only has a single Project (Mass Effect) active. Chapters: 0:00 Veilguard is out, now what? 0:22 BioWare Structure and History 1:57 Growth 4:45 Consumption 6:28 Sustain 7:27 Contraction 11:14 Leadership Discontinuity 1 12:48 Leadership Discontinuity 2 14:14 One Project At A Time 16:33 Mass Effect 18:50 Will The People Be There? 22:18 FOCUS"

[source]

Key notes from the vid and the comments underneath:

"Up front I should say that I have every confidence that Mass Effect [5] is in fact being worked on and that that project is going to receive all of the support from EA that it might need."

Slowly and painfully BioWare is figuring out that it simply can't do more than one project at a time anymore. It's now a single-project studio. Mark Darrah expects that both Edmonton and Austin will be working on ME5 together

ME5 effectively paused production for 15 months in order to help DA:TV ship

Right now other than some DA:TV clean up/final patches, everyone at BW is working on ME5

However ME5 isn't yet ready to suddenly have a team of 250-300 people working on it, so while some DA:TV devs moved onto it, some DA:TV devs were moved to/are moving to other parts of EA instead. The ME5 team started, but there is a long way between "start" and "ready to scale" up

The ME5 team is figuring out what ME5 is going to be & its structure, then will get ready to ramp up to a much bigger team size

"BW, for the first time really ever, is able to singularly focus on a single project, is able to put everything it has towards a single goal, which is making the best ME it possibly can."

But it remains to be seen whether BW will be able to get its people back when it needs them and is ready for them. There are a few reasons why this might prove difficult. Alternatively, on the flipside, this degree of focus might be exactly what BW needs to move it into the next phase of its life. "Maybe EA is going to prove to be incredibly effective at moving people around and when ME5 looks to start to grow maybe there will be no troubles".

We will probably have hints of what's going on [with ME5] within the next two years. "I have high hopes for ME. I think that once they figure out staffing, BW being focused on one game at a time is probably great for the studio" (though there may be growing pains to get there)

Does Mark Darrah foresee similar issues in the ME5 dev cycle to what DA:TV had? No, because ME5 hasn't had the same two big directional shifts, and it has had no leadership discontinuity (ME5 paused when they went to help DA:TV i.e. it didn't continue without a leader). But we should only really start counting ME5's dev cycle from today. "It really hasn't been that long with a significant team"

The ME5 teases in recent N7 Days were made by a "very small team"

There are still lots of veterans at BW

Mark Darrah doesn't expect to be involved in what BW makes next

More under cut due to length.

BW has existed in different ways/structures through its history. We're currently entering into an "unprecedented time" for BW

The purchase of BW by Elevation Partners, the purchase of BW by EA, when Ray Muzyka & Greg Zeschuk left BW, and the year 2017 in general are the 4 most important events (not including shipping games) that Mark Darrah feels have affected BW the most in its history

BW's strategy over time could be seen as having had 4 different phases: grow, consume, sustain, contract. In the contract phase, though BW maybe didn't realize it yet, the number of projects it was capable of running simultaneously was decreasing slowly/gradually. Why? Projects were getting more expensive, requiring more people/resources/time, and by this point BW had essentially burned off all its 'reserves' from the growth phase i.e. there was no longer any fat left to burn off

After DA:I shipped, Mark Darrah experienced that it was very difficult to find resources if your project wasn't the next project that was due out the door

DLC is a safety valve for processes and staff; a place for devs to work when other projects aren't quite ready for them yet; a place for the next gen of leaders to be grown. These things disappear as DLC does. Mark Darrah is pretty sure that the move away from DLC is coming from EA

In the contract phase, in 2013-14 Anthem was starved out by DA & ME:A. ME:A was also somewhat starved out by DA. Then when ME:A was in the driver's seat, it consumed most of the resources

In late 2016/early 2017 during the push to ship ME:A, as part of that BW began to experience leadership discontinuity. As the DA leader, Mark Darrah led a team of DA people onto ME:A to help it ship (the Dragon Age Finaling Team) for a few months. this sort of thing had happened at BW before but this was the first time when senior leadership moved off the projects they led to do this. this caused a change in philosophy in terms of the way that projects were run

When ME:A shipped and Casey Hudson came back to lead BW, there was then a much much larger leadership discontinuity with Anthem. The Montreal studio was supposed to move over onto Joplin to help kickstart it but it ended up getting taken away and given to the leadership in Montreal. but even if this had happened as it was supposed to, BW may not have been able to be in a place where it was going to be able to ship Anthem and Joplin simultaneously

Three quarters of the senior leadership on Joplin moved to Anthem or left BW. DA continued and became Morrison. The discontinuity had massive consequences for DA4

In 2021/22, this happened again in the opposite direction. The leadership team moved onto DA to help it ship, though rather than leaving some of the team in place, everyone moved. The other project (next Mass Effect) effectively ceased to exist for 15 months in order to help DA4 ship. In 2023 for the first time since 1995 BW was only working on 1 project (DA:TV) & there was nobody working on ME5 or remasters or side projects at that time. Now that DA:TV has shipped, apart from some people on cleanup and final patches, there is no plans for DA:TV DLC and "there is only Mass Effect". "Everyone at BW will be working on Mass Effect."

DA:TV being a 'direct sequel' would have been an unlikely path

With BW now focusing on a single project, Mark Darrah does worry that EA will get "itchy"

It'll be a [long] while to DA5 [hypothetically speaking, if it gets made]

MELE involved a lot of external devs

Shadow Realms was BioWare Austin and was due to: "partially places for people, partially a desire for Austin to get something new."

Mark Darrah expects that the devs are hearing everything being said about DA:TV

BW focuses more on consoles because of sales numbers

Unreal Engine 5 (which ME5 is on) is moving onto other EA projects as well, which may help

There are reasons why DA:TV is the way it is

BW has had external consultants on leadership and structure over the years

Mark Darrah expects that the next Dragon Age will once again be pretty different to the last iteration

BW Austin were brought in to help make Anthem. "What didn't happen (that should have) is that they should have had more directional control over the live service direction."

BW has had difficulty learning from previous games because at least one title was too far along TO learn. but a single game leads to staffing issues

Mark Darrah pitched a dev structure back in 2016/17 which would have had "3 fast follow games then a period of retooling"

EA doesn't really sell IPs

Chance of DA:TV DLC? "That's an EA question. And I expect EA's answer to be no". "I don't think we will see DLC. A new DA would be in the future."

"DA has been looking for larger audiences in every iteration. EA has never understood the franchise"

Remake DA:O or ME1? "While I think it would do well, I don't expect it to happen at any time soon. Also the skillsets required don't really over lap"

"The 3 previous games DAVe was are leaking through in places"

Diagram from the video which shows the flow of people throughout BW's history, made by a member of Mark Darrah's community.

[source]

[narrycherries]

ivy: and now I’m covered in you..

she can’t seem to keep herself out of trouble and it irritates him more than it should

(part 4)

masterlist / ivy series

word count: 14.3k

warnings/tags: harry x fem oc, alcohol use, angst, enemies to lovers

The small weekend getaway came quicker than Ivy anticipated it would. She had three weeks to mentally prepare for literally anything that was possible. Would she have a perfect weekend with no rude comments or harsh death glares, or would she feel the wrath of someone in particular’s attitude? She wasn’t sure, but she hoped she would be able to enjoy her time away. For the rather short car ride, she made sure to pack her current diary so she could jot down her thoughts if things become too chaotic in her mind.

Ivy mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’ to Niall as he grabbed her bag from her and tossed it in the trunk of his car.

“Got everything?” Emma asked just as Ivy grabbed the car door to get in.

“Yeah, I triple checked.”

Unfortunately for her, all the preparation she did to ensure herself that she’d be able to handle any situation that occured within the group was pretty much wasted. Emma told her that Niall insisted they carpool, and that they ride with him. That part wasn’t the issue, of course, it was the fact that someone else would be joining them. When Ivy opened the back door and quietly got in the car, she felt a pair of cold eyes looking her way.

Harry offered up the front seat to Emma, which led him to the back with her. He wasn’t necessarily thrilled with the arrangement either, but he could easily get over it, unlike Ivy. She was already feeling the nervousness building in her gut, threatening to spill out of her mouth and empty her stomach contents. No amount of preparation could have prepared her for this. She hadn’t been this close to him before, the table at the restaurant was much wider than the space between them in the car. Thankfully, Niall placed Emma’s rolled up throw blanket in the middle, securing the separation between them.

“Alright. Let’s hit the road.” Niall said with a sigh as he shut his door and quickly adjusted his rear view mirror.

Ivy had her small tote bag resting on her lap, it was filled with a few essential things along with some random things to keep her occupied in the car and during downtime at the hotel. She wanted to grab her diary already, they hadn’t even left the neighbor yet, and spill her guts out onto the pages. The radio was quietly buzzing in the car as Niall and Emma chatted amongst themselves about the directions. She was glad it wasn’t completely silent, and she was even more appreciative of the fact nobody was trying to make conversation with her.

She opted to let her eyes stare mindlessly out of the window as Niall navigated through the city. So far, she was content with his driving and she wasn’t feeling any sort of motion sickness from riding. Maybe this would be better than she first thought. As long as she was able to stay calm and focused on everything but the person next to her, then she’d be perfectly fine.

Thirty minutes into the drive, Ivy decided that she needed to busy herself with a task before she got the chance to get lost in her thoughts. She reached into her bag and pulled out the small book she had been using as a diary the past few weeks. She wrote an awful lot, so she filled books quickly. Her newest choice was a travel sized spiral bound notebook with a thick front cover decorated with a few random stickers she had. She clicked the pen, flipping to the page where she left off last. She wasn’t concerned with writing neatly, so she just held it in her opposite hand as she started to write.

Words were coming naturally to her, her thoughts filling the page so easily. This book just so happened to be slap full of inserts that pertained to Harry. They weren’t her thoughts of infatuation and obsession, but instead it was the worry and anxious ideas that lined the pages. After a few lines, she paused on the writing and decided to doodle a small flower in the lower corner of the page.

“Harry?” Niall said loud enough to catch Ivy’s attention.

She lifted her head and saw that Niall was looking in the mirror at him, but he was obviously not successful in getting him to answer. She looked over and saw that he had his arms over his chest, earbuds in his ears, and his eyes were staring out of the window. His music was loud enough for her to tell that he had it on, but she couldn’t make out anything specific.

“He’s listening to music.” She said after Niall called his name again.

He huffed. “Can you hit him? I need him to text Zayn.”

Ivy felt her throat start to swell. She had been so relaxed and calm during the drive, but it was all circling down the drain now. Niall had asked her a simple question, wanted her to do a small favor - she couldn’t act like he said something insane. She swallowed gently and pulled all of her courage together. Her heart stammered over a beat, missing it entirely, as she reached over to him. Ivy tapped her fingertip against his arm, just above his elbow. He didn’t jump or flinch, he simply turned his head to look at her. His brows were lowered, a bit of confusion on his expression. She expected him to react differently, assumed he would scream at her or ask her why she thought she could touch him.

When she pointed towards Niall, Harry dropped his eyes to his phone and picked it up from his leg, pausing his music and looking at Niall’s reflection in the mirror.

“What?” He mumbled out, not entirely pleased with being disturbed but it wasn’t that big of a deal.

“Can you text Zayn and ask them how far out they are? Cory’s driving them.”

Harry nodded, unlocking his phone so he could type. “Yeah.”

Ivy had already turned her attention back to her diary, but she was still working on the small bouquet of flowers she was drawing in the corner. It was definitely nothing artistic or perfect, just a little doodle to fill the space. She was aware of Harry’s presence again, and she didn’t want him to see her writing. After a couple of silent moments, she flipped the book shut and laid her hand over it, her curious eyes moving to the window.

“He said they’ve got like half an hour.” Harry said, his deep voice rattling through the car and cutting straight through the wall Ivy built up to avoid him.

She shifted her head enough so that she could look at him from the corner of her eye. An obvious stare would be entirely too awkward while in the car, so she stuck to her sneaky glances.

After assuming Niall didn’t want to say anything else to him, Harry turned his music back on and reverted to his previous position. Ivy found it intriguing how he was slowly moving his fingers that were tucked beneath his arm. The simple gesture was making her bite the inside of her cheek. He wasn’t even aware of it himself, yet she was focused on it like it was the most spectacular thing.

She couldn’t resist looking at the tattoos she could see living on his skin. The dark ink settled in his flesh was eye catching, she wondered if he had more she couldn’t see. While observing him from this point of view, she noticed a piercing hole in his lobe. She made a mental note to try to catch a glimpse of his other one to see if there’s a matching hole. She hadn’t noticed any earrings before, so maybe he didn’t wear them often. Her tongue poked out to coat her lips as she looked at his long eyelashes, they were resting gently on his cheek. Was he asleep? No, she didn’t think so. He just was relaxing and closing his eyes for a while. Her question was answered within a second as his eyes slowly peeled open, his gaze fixed on the window.

She moved her eyes down his frame. He was wearing a faded t-shirt with a design on the front that his arms hid from her view. He ditched his dark jeans for sweatpants, she supposed to be more comfortable during the drive. She was surprised he could appear so relaxed and normal, instead of uptight and cocky.

Ivy finally picked her eyes back up, choosing to stare at his face for a bit longer. Her eyes widened and flames burst on her cheeks as she met his eyes. She stayed like that, just staring at him, for a long moment. She wondered what he was thinking. Surely something along the lines of ‘this girl is crazy’. She felt the eruption of butterflies in her stomach, causing her to rip her gaze from his. She opted to stare at the back of the seat in front of her, embarrassed to have been caught by him. It wasn’t the first time she had been caught staring at him, and she feared it wouldn’t be the last.

He didn’t say anything to her, though. He wasn’t annoyed or irritated, he only looked her way because her stare was so intense. He could feel it on him, burning holes through him. Maybe she was just looking around the car while thinking about something and her eyes just so happened to land on him, or maybe it was purposeful - he wasn’t certain. He didn’t look away from her just yet. It was so easy to tell she was nervous. Was it because he caught her or was it because they were so close? It was most likely both. Harry ran his eyes over her, taking in her appearance and body language. She was like a statue, not daring to move one little bit. He just knew that if she looked back his way and saw he was still eyeing her down, she’d combust.

For the remainder of the drive, Ivy kept her eyes down on her notebook and Harry fixated his on the back of his eyelids. She was grateful that he had fallen asleep and couldn’t give her glances that took her breath away and made her heart race. The ride itself was calming, though. Niall and Emma didn’t talk much, just listened to the radio. Once they got to the hotel, Ivy sent Michelle a text to let her know they were there. They would be sharing a room for the weekend. The others arrived way before them and already had their room keys.

Niall popped the trunk and gestured for everyone to take their bags. Ivy reached in for hers, tugging it out of the pile and shoving the strap on her shoulder. She stepped back and accidentally brushed her bag against Harry. She didn’t notice, but he did. A light sigh came from his lips as she walked off to the door. Emma was following close behind her.

“We all should be on the same floor.” Emma said as they entered the lobby.

Ivy glanced over her shoulder. “I think so. Michelle said ours is on three.”

“Ugh. I have to wait for Niall to check in.” She groaned as Ivy headed to the elevator.

She stopped and decided to wait with Emma instead, just so she wouldn’t be by herself. Niall and Harry strolled through the door together, talking about something neither of the girls could hear. Niall went to the counter, leaving Harry to head to the elevator.

“Guess I’ll go over there.” Emma mumbled, grabbing her bag from the floor, then started the short trip to Niall.

Ivy took a deep breath as she prepared herself for what was about to come. She beat Harry to the elevator, but when she pushed the button it decided to be extremely slow. Cory was his roommate for the weekend, and he was waiting upstairs like everyone else. Harry came up behind her, his eyes fixed on the elevator door as he waited. Ivy wanted to throw up right there, just wanted to lose her mind and all control of her body. She didn’t want to be alone with him.

When the door opened, someone stepped out and gave them both a polite smile. Ivy returned it, she was sure Harry didn’t. She chose the spot closest to the control panel, hoping that Harry would wait for the next one. He didn’t do that, of course, he got on with her. He stood in the back corner, the furthest he could get from her in the small space. She pressed in the three button and glanced back at Harry, but when he didn’t say anything about a different floor, she turned her eyes back to the display of buttons.

The elevator was moving at snail speed. It felt like absolute torture. He was right behind her and there was nothing she could do to change it right now. She had to deal with it, and to be frank, she was failing at doing so. Her stomach was flipping and twisting inside of her body, her heart racing and skipping beats like she was falling from an airplane. Her feet felt like they weighed a ton as she stood still, not wanting to move any closer to him by accident.

Finally, after what felt like a torturous eternity, the elevator stopped and the door opened. Harry let her walk out first, and she did her best to get a good distance ahead of him. She didn’t know where his room was, and she didn’t necessarily care, she just had to find hers first. His strides were much longer than hers, and he was practically walking beside her down the hall. He kept space between them. It was obvious to him that she didn’t feel comfortable being so close to him, so he tried to keep the distance.

Her eyes hastily scanned over the room numbers, wishing that hers would magically appear. It seemed as though she was walking down an endless hall. Her worrying had taken over her body. In reality, her room was just a short walk from the elevator. She stopped as she found the room number, a sigh of relief escaping past her lips. She knocked on the door and waited patiently for Michelle to open it. Curiously, she turned her head to see where Harry ended up, and to her dismay.. his room just happened to be right next to hers.

A cool whiff of air made her skin crawl as Michelle opened the door, a smile on her face as she greeted Ivy with a quick hug. She grabbed her hand and pulled her inside the room.

“I haven’t picked a bed yet. I didn’t know your preference.. whether you wanted by the window or what.” Michelle said with a laugh as Ivy dropped her bag in front of the empty dresser.

“It doesn’t matter to me. I’ll take this one, I guess.” She gestured to the one closest to the window.

“Perfect!” Michelle picked her own bag off the floor and tossed it on the bed that was now hers for the weekend. “How was the drive?”

Ivy copied her, moving her bag onto the bed so she could unpack a few essential things. “It was nice. It was quiet and peaceful.”

Michelle scoffed. “Peaceful? With Niall and Harry?”

Ivy shrugged lightly as she crossed her legs on the bed. “We didn’t really.. talk or anything. I think everyone was tired.”

When she looked towards Michelle, she didn’t expect to be met with a narrow gaze and pursed lips. She didn’t look like she believed what had been said to her. Ivy tried to ignore it, maybe she was just in shock that Niall’s energetic demeanor wasn’t present during the drive.

“So.. nothing else happened with Harry?” Michelle asked curiously as she took out the ensemble she would be wearing later.

“No.. He didn’t say anything to me. It was very calm.”

“Well that’s good. Maybe he’s warming up to you.”

Michelle’s words were comical. If anything, they were more cold to each other than when they first met. Ivy didn’t want to be in the same room with him, and he didn’t seem to give a damn about her existence. She decided to let it go and not focus on the worrying thoughts right now.

“How was the drive for you?” Ivy asked, wanting to change the topic away from herself.

Michelle shook her head. “It was interesting. Cory and Zayn had some weird conversations.”

“I can only imagine. I’ve only heard a few of their stories.. but I already know they’re crazy together.”

As Michelle got up to grab one of the hotel hangers, she continued talking. “Yeah, they’re a good time, though. Hey, you missed our last show. Are you gonna come to the next one?”

Ivy swallowed as she contemplated what to say back. She purposely chose to skip the show two weeks ago. Emma begged her for days to change her mind, but she ultimately decided it would be better if she didn’t. She didn’t want to be around Harry at the time. The dinner situation had soured her feelings again, made her very confused with herself. Niall wasn’t offended by her decision, though, he assured her they would have another show soon that she could attend. She used the excuse of being overworked and wanting to relax, and it worked for the most part.

“Um, probably. I told Emma I would.” She said almost hesitantly. She didn’t want to promise something then change her mind and break it. “When is it?”

“Three weeks.” Michelle said as she fixed her outfit on the hanger and put it in the small closet. She didn’t want it to have wrinkles once it was time to get dressed.

“I’ll try to. I won’t make any other plans or anything.”

“Good! We can have a redo. Hopefully everything will go perfectly.”

Ivy let out an unamused laugh. “Yeah.. hopefully.”

“Zayn and Alyssa are across the hall, by the way. And Cory and Harry are next to us.” Michelle said as she glanced down at her phone, a text coming through. “And looks like Niall and Emma are a few rooms down.”

Ivy didn’t say, just gave her a nod when Michelle looked over at her. She felt a sting in her stomach as she realized Harry was on the other side of the wall she was staring at. What was he doing in there? Was he catching up with Cory, was he unpacking his clothes, was he laying down to finish the nap he took in the car? She found herself really lost in wondering what he could be up to. If she knew anything for sure, it was that this was going to be a long weekend.

—•—

Michelle was humming quietly to herself as she stared at her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall, checking to see if her makeup looked good. Ivy looked at her from the bathroom doorway, she had just finished applying her makeup and putting her jewelry on.

“You look great.”

Michelle smiled and turned to face her. “Thanks. So do you, hot stuff!” She waved her hand in front of her face, pretending to faint.

Ivy rolled her eyes and walked out of the bathroom, a shy smile on her lips as she grabbed the small purse she brought along to carry. It was on a gold colored chain that she could put over her body, keeping the bag close to her. She caught a glimpse of her reflection and decided to admire it for a moment. Michelle watched with a proud grin as Ivy rotated in the mirror, looking at her self in great detail. She had to make sure everything was perfect.

“This dress doesn’t make my stomach poke out too much, does it?” She asked as she started to chew on her cheek.

Michelle moved to be next to her, her eyes landing on their reflections. “You look great.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I don’t think it draws attention to your stomach at all. It’s not too tight, not too loose. It’s very flattering on you.” Michelle explained further, hoping she would help the anxiety disappear.

“And the color? Dark green isn’t.. ugly on me, is it?”

Michelle examined the dark green fabric of the dress, noting how nice it looked against her skin and with her hair. “It’s hot. Makes your eyes pop. You look good.”

Ivy took a deep breath and very slowly pushed it out. “Thanks.”

“You worry too much.” Michelle playfully pinched her elbow. “You’re gorgeous.”

“I.. I don’t know about that.” Ivy mumbled back as she gently pushed her hair over her shoulder, exposing the thick strap of her dress. She thought the dress was nice, so hearing that Michelle believed the same was reassuring. “I just get.. nervous.”

“No need to be nervous, trust me. You’re glowing, darling.” Michelle gave her a laugh and a quick hug, wanting her to feel better about her appearance.

Michelle left her side to put her shoes on, leaving Ivy to stare at herself alone. She felt her throat go dry as she twisted her body from side to side, kicking her leg out gently and posing for herself. She wasn’t as confident as she wanted to be right now. Michelle eyed her the whole time, and it was obvious that Ivy wasn’t pleased.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Michelle said as she stayed perched on the foot of the hotel bed.

“Yeah.”

“Why do you think you’re not hot? Like.. I can tell you want to love the way you look right now.. but something’s stopping you.”

Although Emma was a very close friend, she had never asked anything like that before. Emma was always so supportive and did her best to hype Ivy up. Michelle seemed more interested in solving the problem. Ivy let out a quiet laugh and turned away from the mirror, opting to stare at her own feet instead.

“Well.. there’s gotta be something wrong with me.” She shrugged, a nonchalant expression taking over her face.

Michelle frowned and stood up, immediately going to grab her elbows to get her attention. When Ivy lifted her head up to look at her, she could tell something was wrong. It went farther than the fit of a dress. There wasn’t much Ivy could do to escape this, so she just stayed silent and waited for Michelle to say something.

“What do you mean?”

Ivy licked her lips, her eyes trailing off to stare at the wall behind Michelle. “I don’t know.. I must be.. not attractive.”

“Why are you saying that? Has someone told you that before?” Michelle was quick with her responses, not wanting to give the impression that she didn’t care to listen.

“No, but.. do you see a man here?” Ivy looked around, lifting her brows as the weighted thoughts began to come out of her mouth. “I’m obviously not.. attractive enough to be someone’s girlfriend.”

Michelle felt her own heart sink at the words that left her mouth. “Ivy, don’t say that. You’re literally so beautiful. Any decent guy would see that. You’re a prize. You’re sweet and funny and kind.. on top of being gorgeous.”

She shook her head and tried her best to compose herself, she didn’t want to cry and ruin her makeup. She spent too long getting ready to have it all smudged. Michelle released her arms, but didn’t move back. Ivy wondered why it was so important to Michelle, why did she care so much?

“I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.” She mumbled under her breath, turning away from Michelle entirely. She was aware of the time and knew they had to meet the others in the lobby soon. “We should go.”

Michelle wanted to keep the conversation going, but she didn’t want to cross any lines or press any wrong buttons. Ivy clearly didn’t want to discuss any more, so she was going to respect that. She thought maybe she could carry it on when they got back, or even tomorrow while they were alone in the room. Right now wasn’t the time.

When they got to the lobby, almost everyone was waiting in a small huddle. Zayn and Alyssa were the only ones not downstairs. As soon as Emma laid her eyes on Ivy, she squealed and ran over to her, excitedly hugging her like they’d been apart for months. She complimented her outfit and raved about how perfect she looked, which warranted a shy shake of the head from Ivy. Michelle added a few comments to further empower her, making sure to give her a bright smile. She was grateful for the kind words and she hoped they would remain in her head for the rest of the night. She wasn’t going out to purposely hunt for a man, she just wanted to have fun with everyone.

Once Zayn and Alyssa finally joined them, they headed out of the door. The place they were going was just a few short blocks away, and everyone agreed on walking there. Taking a cab back to the hotel later that night would most likely be everyone’s decision, but for now they were fine with walking together. Niall made a comment about Emma and Ivy wearing heels, but they both assured him they were perfectly fine. Other than that, everyone either kept to themselves or made small talk as they walked down sidewalks and crossed roads, zigzagging through the area.

Ivy was well aware that she was walking in front of Harry, and that nobody was walking behind him. Their group had to form a line when they got to the busier sections of the area, not wanting to be in anyone’s way as they passed through. She wasn’t sure how she ended up behind Michelle, but she was somewhat glad that she wasn’t at the very end. Although she was comfortable and confident in her heels, they did make her walk just a tad bit slower than normal. Just as they were about to reach a corner where they needed to turn, her phone buzzed in her small purse. She furrowed her brows and pulled it out, unsure of who was texting her. It was a message from her dad asking if she was still planning on going to see him next weekend. She was typing up a reply, a smile on her face as she stared at the screen. She hadn’t seen her dad in a few weeks, he had been so busy with work, so she was excited for the plans they had made. The moment she pressed the send button, she felt her weight shift and a shriek flew from her mouth.

Before she could fall and hurt her ankle or scrape up her exposed skin, something grabbed onto her and tugged her the opposite way, steadily her body on the sidewalk. She looked down and saw the curb, she was extremely close to stepping off it and falling into the road. When she turned her head to look next to her, her heart started to pump faster than it ever had before.

Ivy was met with a stern glare from a set of familiar green eyes. He had his lips in a straight line, his brows tight on his forehead. She quickly licked her lips and tried to speak, but he interrupted her before she could even take a breath.

“Watch where you’re walking.” Harry said through a huff as he finally released the pressure his hand created on her arm.

She swallowed the lump that was trying to stop up her throat. “Sorry, thanks.”

He gave her a weird look. “Why are you apologizing? Just pay attention.”

Ivy couldn’t verbally respond, something inside of her was preventing that from happening. She could only nod and give him a soft smile, which he didn’t return in any way. He gestured for her to start walking again to catch up with the others, they had already turned the corner. She got the gist and began walking again, this time with her phone tucked away in her purse and her eyes fixed on what was ahead of her. Harry’s presence stayed behind her, close enough for her to sense him, but far enough to keep a distance. He didn’t want to run into her if she decided to distract herself again.

—•—

Ivy was slightly overwhelmed by the thick crowd of people they ended up being stuck in the middle of. She made sure to stay close to everyone else to prevent getting lost or swept away by a sea of people. The event space was much larger than the bar they had her in weeks ago, but that definitely didn’t mean there was any free standing room anywhere. She felt a little bit of suffocation, but she hoped the drink in her hand would ease her nerves.

Niall was yelling over the music at Michelle and Alyssa, trying to explain something to them but Ivy really couldn’t hear him. She kept her eyes to herself, not wanting to accidentally find herself staring at anyone. Emma was already swaying her hips side to side to the music, bumping into Ivy every now and then. She wanted to get comfortable and enjoy the music, too, but she was still too nervous. So, she just sipped her drink and waited patiently for it to kick in.

The band wasn’t supposed to come for another fifteen minutes, they had been there for half an hour already. Niall’s hand was clutching a beer, Cory and Zayn started off with two shots each. Ivy noticed while they were at the bar earlier that Alyssa didn’t get anything. Maybe she wasn’t big on drinking. The rest of them got something to start the night with.

“I love this song!” Emma yelled happily, grabbing Ivy’s hand as she jumped up and down. She just laughed and gave her a nod, not as enthused by the music as Emma was. “Dance with me!”

“Maybe later!” She yelled back, lifting her drink to indicate she’d need another, or possibly three before she could let loose.

Emma groaned, but decided to not let it drag her mood down. She turned to Niall, pulling him from his conversation and forcing him to somewhat dance with her. He was mostly just nodding his head and grinning at her. Michelle was starting to vibe with the music, facing towards Alyssa in an attempt to get her to join. She soon did, leaving Zayn to talk with Cory and Harry.

Harry.. Of course she hadn’t forgotten about him. She made a few quick glances at him since they arrived, but she tried her best to mind her business. She was afraid something would be said, that same old feeling she gets when she’s around him. It was almost too natural of a feeling. But she couldn’t really resist the temptation, especially since he was so close to her. He was leaning in to Cory and Zayn when he spoke so they could hear him over the loud music. He put a smirk on his lips and laughed a few times, making Ivy’s heart skip a beat.

She thought he looked rather well put together tonight. His hair was a bit messy from the gentle breeze during the walk over, but it still looked so perfect. He was wearing his usual dark jeans, paired with a pair of black boots with a short heel, and a blue shirt. The sleeves were purposely rolled and pushed up to his elbows, his tattoos on display for anyone’s lingering eyes. She even caught a whiff of his cologne while they were walking, when he caught her, and she thought it was nice. Her teeth bit down on her cheek as she looked at his chest, some of his skin exposed from the undone buttons. She thought it was an interesting look, but it fit his style well. He was as eye catching as ever.

It was so easy for her to get lost in him. She tore her eyes away, looking towards Emma but she was fully caught up with Niall and not worried about anything else. That feeling of being the odd one out was building in her gut. Everyone was accompanied by someone except her.

Ivy’s attention fell to her drink. She shook the cup, watching the ice swirl in the liquid. She should’ve gotten something stronger. She huffed to herself before taking a drink. Maybe if she drank it faster it would work better. The thought of Harry had quickly faded from her mind, the new worry of being alone was taking over entirely. It was hard to not feel like she didn’t belong. Even though this isn’t the first time she’s been around everyone, she still didn’t know them as well as they knew each other. Sure, she could spark up a conversation would Zayn if she wanted to, but what if he was responding just to be polite? The idea of them pretending to like her was difficult to ignore. She didn’t want to be so anxious about it and let those crazy thoughts run wild, but it was almost impossible to stop it once it begins.

Time slipped by while Ivy stayed to herself. There was an announcement that the band was about to come on the stage on the other side of the room. It was much larger than the theater-turned-club stage she watched them perform on. This was definitely a much bigger venue with a more serious act taking stage. Niall yelled something about trying to get closer, which prompted Emma to take Ivy’s hand. As a group, they navigated through the crowd. Not everyone was turned towards the band, so it was easier to slide through.

They didn’t get right up on the stage, but they weren’t far. Emma let go of her hand once they were settled in a space. She was excited about the show and hoped that it would make her forget all the things filling her head. Before long, the band filed onto the stage and started their set. Emma made sure to stay next to her, which she appreciated immensely. She was sort of worried about being knocked over or pulled from the group by people shoving their way through. Nobody seemed to be pushing around just yet, though.

For the most part, the experience was very fun and positive for Ivy. The worry she had suffered through was far gone now. She was enjoying the music and knew most of the songs they were doing. She danced and cheered through their original songs, as well, not carrying that she hadn’t heard them before. It was exhilarating to just jump around and throw her hands up in the air. She had successfully pushed down all those anxious thoughts and emotions that were bothering her. She felt happy and free, like nothing could stop this high.

Niall and Cory offered to make a run to the bar for everyone, so she gladly threw in her drink order. She was definitely feeling the buzz of the alcohol creeping through her veins, and she was craving more of it. As soon as they returned, she started drinking from the new plastic cup. Her hips never stopped moving to the music, Emma grabbing her every now and then to dance together.

Everything was going well, it almost seemed too good to be true. Ivy kept her focus on the band, not caring what was going on around her aside from Emma. Niall had her attention now though, so Ivy was dancing along to the music on her own. She was so into the moment that she didn’t realize she was moving around so much, until she backed into something that stopped her.

She turned slightly to apologize to the random person she hit, but she audibly gasped and her eyes went wide. Harry was standing there, a gentle lift of his brow served as his response.

“Sorry!” She yelled over the music, her stomach dropping as she realized he had been behind her while she was dancing.

He rolled his eyes and gave her a nod, instantly shifting his stare back to the stage. She was unsure of how long he had been behind her, the last time she checked he was over by Zayn and Alyssa, the complete opposite side of the space their lot was taking up. There was no need to worry over it, she shook it from her mind and continued where she left off.

Emma squealed and immediately dropped Niall’s hands to turn to Ivy. The band was doing another cover, and this time it was one of their favorite songs to karaoke together. Ivy let out a laugh as Emma grabbed onto her waist and pulled her close. Niall shook his head and just chuckled at them, letting them have their moment together.

The girls were extremely expressive as the Joan Jett song blasted through the room. They were both impressed by the band’s performance of the song, and they showed their support by singing and dancing along. With every whip of Ivy’s head from side to side, her hair swung in the air. Emma was practically screaming the lyrics out, feeling like she was on another planet. If they did anything right together, it was have the time of their lives.

Once the song ended, Ivy had to catch her breath. She shook her head when Emma tried to make her keep on, the next song was just as good. She couldn’t handle it right now, she was out of breath and her throat hurt from all the screaming. Emma chose to focus on Niall again, forcing him to dance now, leaving her to collect herself.

Even though she craved water, she didn’t dismiss the drink in her hand. Somehow, most of the liquid managed to stay in the cup. She took a big guzzle, aiming to coat her mouth with the cold feeling to soothe it. The effects of the alcohol were the least of her worries. As much as she loved to dance and sing with Emma, she was worn out already. A good ten or so minutes of staying idle would do her some good.

A grunt pushed past her lips as she felt her stomach twirl around. Maybe she shouldn’t be jumping around so much while there’s alcohol roaming in her body. She pressed her hand to her stomach, taking a few slow breaths to try and calm herself. The last thing she wanted to do was throw up. Thankfully, after a few more minutes of staying still and focusing on settling herself down, her stomach stopped aching and she felt much better.

The feeling didn’t stick around very long, though. She was nodding her head to the music, enjoying the current song the band was playing, when someone started pushing their way through the crowd. Ivy’s eyes were locked on the band as she peeked between all the heads in front of her to get a good look at them. She didn’t notice that someone was trying to get by.

She jumped the second she felt a hand on her waist. Her body was pushed to the side, the person trying to get by then easily walked past her. Her instincts kicked in and she realized someone was actually touching her. She grabbed the wrist of the hand and pushed it down, her nails scratching into skin. When she turned to scream at the stranger she assumed she’d see, her mouth went dry and her lips fell part, no words coming out. Harry gave her an irritated look, glancing down at his now scratched hand.

“You were in the way.” He told her loudly, forcing his voice over the music.

She swallowed gently. “I.. I didn’t know.”

Harry gave her a sarcastic gasp. “Obviously.”

Ivy wanted to be more confident in herself than she had managed to be all day, so she quickly gave it back to him. “You’re so rude.”

“Says the one who was in the damn way.” He lifted the corner of his mouth, amused by her comeback.

She rolled her eyes at him and turned back around, hoping to forget that he was there. There was an angry feeling sparking up in her gut. How could someone show such arrogance over a simple situation? She could have thanked him for moving her aside so she wouldn’t get shoved, but she figured he didn’t care about her gratitude. And more than that, he didn’t deserve it.

After another hour, the band had finished their set and everyone agreed that they’d stay a bit longer and enjoy the night. Some of the crowd had disappeared, leaving the place easier to navigate through, but it was still a good number of people around. Ivy went with Emma and Michelle to the bathroom, separating themselves from the others. They joined the short line that was waiting inside. Ivy let a deep breath push through her nose as her body leaned against the wall. She didn’t care about the sanitary conditions of the bathroom, she had other things on her mind.

Michelle took notice and gently nudged her. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and licked her lips quickly. “Nothing.. just got a little sick to my stomach earlier.”

“Do you feel sick?” Emma frowned back.

Ivy shrugged, even though she knew the feeling was more because of anxiety than sickness, she didn’t want to tell them what had happened. She was sure nobody noticed, they were all so distracted by everything going on around them. The less she talked about Harry, the easier it was to imagine it was all fake. She didn’t want him to be there, she didn’t want him to exist in her life, she didn’t want to keep those small moments alive in her mind. Why did he have to be walking behind her on the sidewalk, why was he so close to her while the band was playing, why did he care if someone pushed her over or not? Why was he so worried about her, and why did she let it bother her so much?

“No, I think I was just doing too much earlier.. with the dancing. I’m okay now.” She assured them with a quick smile.

“Okay, if you say so.” Emma didn’t seem to believe it, but she wasn’t going to stress her out by prying. “If you feel like you wanna leave.. let me know and we can head back.”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you, too, if you want.” Michelle reached up and casually pushed Ivy’s hair over her shoulder. “Especially if you feel sick.”

“Thanks.. but I’m pretty sure I’m okay right now.”

They didn’t have to wait very long to get into a stall. Once they were all done, they left the bathroom together. Ivy thought about stopping by the bar for some water, but she didn’t want to cause an inconvenience. Maybe one of the guys would offer to go to the bar for everyone and she could take advantage of that.

The girls made their way back to where they left Niall and Cory. Zayn and Alyssa had gone off to be on their own and Harry was nowhere around. Emma kept an eye on Ivy to make sure she wasn’t getting sick. She made sure to tell Niall that they might possibly have to leave earlier than planned if something happened. Ivy overheard them talking and she assured Niall she was fine.

It didn’t take long for Emma and Michelle to start moving to the music again. Emma grabbed Ivy’s hand and playfully shook her arm around, trying to get her to participate. She gave them a laugh and joined them, but she kept her feet grounded. The jumping was too intense earlier, she needed to stay more relaxed. The music playing through the speakers was good, they all seemed to enjoy it.

The chaotic scene of the club was enough to keep her mind off of things for a while. She swayed side to side to the music, occasionally grabbing onto Emma to belt out lyrics with her. After a while, the need for something to drink was weighing on her, making her throat dry and her head start to spin. Ivy tapped Emma’s shoulder to get her attention, she was talking to Niall about something as a slower song was playing.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going? Are you feeling bad?” Emma’s brows dropped and she frowned, instantly worried for her friend.

Ivy smiled and shook her head. “No, just thirsty.”

“Oh.. okay!”

Niall leaned closer so he could talk over all the noise. “Be careful.”

“I will. I’ll be right back!”

With a sigh, she walked off from them, heading towards the bar. As she made her way there, she let herself reflect on the night’s events. All the dancing and singing was so joyful and exciting, she was grateful for the fun experience. Everyone was getting along, nothing too crazy had occurred. Sure, she had a few incidents with Harry, but nobody else was a witness to them that she was aware of. Knowing that made it sort of easier to deal with. She didn’t have to worry about whether or not they would get irritated with her, too. She was glad the moments she had to share with him weren’t full of hateful comments or rude looks like the previous ones had been. He wasn’t necessarily the sweetest person tonight, but at least he was better than normal.

For once in her life, she actually felt like she belonged within a group. Those unsure worries about whether they liked her or not had faded. Most of them had proved they did enjoy her company, and she definitely enjoyed theirs. The dynamics of the group were so different, everyone had their own personality and somehow they all merged together well. Harry was sort of an outlier, but only when it came to Ivy. He was perfectly fine with everyone else.

When she finally got to the bar, she let out a sigh of relief. There was an open stool at the end and she gladly took it. The bartender noticed her and gave her a lift of his finger, indicating he’d be over to her in a minute. She just smiled back and waited patiently. She folded her hands on the bar, looking down at her painted nails. The red polish shifted colors beneath the colored lights.

Ivy covered her mouth as she yawned, a tired feeling creeping into her body. She knew she didn’t want to be the one to make everyone go back to the hotel early, so she’d just have to push through it and wake herself up. The bartender came over to her, smiling as he asked how he could help her. She asked for a cup of ice, an awkward confession of how she wasn’t feeling the best followed her request. He gave her a laugh and said he understood the feeling.

“It’s on me! Take care of yourself.” He said as he passed her the plastic cup full of ice cubes.

“Oh, thank you!”

Ivy twisted the stool around so that she could prop her elbow on the bar and look out at the dancing crowd. Some people were just standing around talking or laughing, but most of them were doing some form of dancing. She tipped the cup back, a piece of ice falling into her mouth. She let it sit on her tongue for a few moments, slowly melting as the warmth of her mouth engulfed it. The feeling was calming, she felt like she was recovering already. The plan was to sit for a few minutes and eat a couple pieces of ice, then she’d go back to where she left from.

When she finished her second piece, she reached into her purse to grab her lip gloss. She could feel the dryness of her lips and had to take care of that. Her phone acted as a mirror while she applied the gloss over her lips, fully coating each of them. She rubbed them together, then smiled at herself to make sure nothing spread past the line of her lips.

“You didn’t miss a spot.”

Ivy quickly pulled her phone down and turned her head, her eyes meeting those of a stranger. It was a man with dark hair, he was tall with broad shoulders. A smile shaped his mouth, a set of shiny white teeth popping out behind his lips.

She gulped gently and let out a slightly nervous laugh. “Yeah, I guess not.”

He let his eyes quickly roam over her body. She kept her stare on his face, watching every move he made closely. That anxious feeling she fought off so often was returning, but even she knew that it was for a real reason this time.

“Are you not drinking tonight?” He asked, nodding his head to the cup of ice. The question was posed in a way that made it seem like he knew her so well.. like he was surprised she wasn’t drinking.

She went along with it, just to prevent anything drastic from happening. “Um, taking a break for right now.”

“If you want to end that break, I could get a drink.” The cocky smirk he put on for her was not pleasing to her eyes.

Ivy sucked on the inside of her cheek for a moment as she glanced at her ice cubes. “I think my break will last the rest of the night.”

He gave her a very slow nod, his eyes moving away from her for the first time since he approached. He shifted his weight, looking past her at the person next to her on the stool. Maybe he thought she didn’t know that person, since it didn’t seem like she was making a point to give them any attention. A thousand thoughts started to fill her mind as she started to consider all the different ways this could play out. She took a mental note of what he was wearing, just in case. It was a burgundy collared shirt with a pair of dark wash, loose fitting jeans. He dressed like any other guy, which made him blend in too easily.

“So, are you here with someone?” He finally asked, lifting his brows as he moved his eyes back to her face.

She was quick to contemplate lying or not. If she said she was here with a man, and this person had been watching her, then he’d know that wasn’t true. If he just saw her at the bar and not any other time tonight, then maybe she could get away with it. The thing was, she didn’t know what he knew about her. She was nervous that he had been watching her and was waiting for an opportunity.

Ivy pushed down the lump in her throat and remained confident, not wanting him to see that she was becoming afraid. “With a group of friends, yeah.”

“Oh, friends?” He said, looking around at the people who clearly didn’t know her. Nobody had interacted with her since she got to the bar, aside from him.

“Yeah.” She kept her reply short and simple, hoping he’d get the point.

Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case. He leaned closer to her, his hand reaching out to touch her waist. She stiffened on the stool, her back straight as she tried to keep her distance. His hand wasn’t gripping her tight, but it was definitely pressed against her.

“Let me get you a drink.” He said with a chuckle, trying to play like he was flirting but she knew it was something more dangerous.

She gently shook her head and lifted her hand between them. “No, thanks. I’m not.. drinking anymore.”

He gave her a look that made her skin crawl. “Don’t want to have some fun with me?”

“Um, I should.. get back to my friends.” She said with a fake smile, pushing against his chest to move him.

At first he didn’t budge, but after a moment he leaned back, his hand falling from her side. “C’mon, don’t be so uptight. Let me show you a good time.”

The very second he took a step back, she saw the opportunity to escape. Ivy slid off the stool, abandoning her cup of ice on the bar, and started hastily walking away. When she looked over her shoulder, she saw that he pushed himself off the bar and started walking in the same direction. Her stomach dropped as she quickly came to terms with what was happening. There was nothing she could do other than run through this crowd and make it to Emma.

Ivy darted her eyes around, trying to find familiar things she made sure to take notice of when she walked off. She had to find her way back somehow, but it seemed her tricks weren’t working. The anxiety flooding through her body was shielding her memory - she couldn’t think of anything else. Her lungs felt heavy as she pushed through the crowd, trying her best to find Emma or Niall or somebody she knew. Maybe she’d run across Zayn, she hadn’t seen him in a while. She was getting sick to her stomach, its contents threatening to come up.

She took another look behind her, and even through the people she moved past, she saw him. His eyes were scanning around, searching for her as she weaved through the dancing bodies.

The mix of colorful lights flashing all around the space was making it difficult for her to make out anything. She thought she was losing her mind, she couldn’t focus on anything. Strangers’ faces littered the room, she couldn’t find anyone she recognized. How long could she out run him? How big was this building? Would she be able to seek refuge in the women’s restroom or would he disregard any barriers and search for her there? Could she make it back to the front where the security guard was? Her feet were starting to feel weak as the worry spiraled in her mind. She was going to get hurt, she just knew it. The night had been going so well, something just had to ruin it like always.

Ivy suddenly broke through the edge of the crowd, making her stumble over her own feet. Her body shook with each desperate pant, her lungs trying so hard to stay strong. She twisted her head around, trying to find something to shelter herself. She saw no kind of doors to slip into, the restrooms were on the opposite side as was the entrance. She didn’t even know where she was.

Tears swelled in her eyes as she decided to keep walking, trying to throw him off her tracks. Maybe if she cut back into the crowd and went a different direction, she could lose him entirely. She nervously walked on the edge of the crowd, mumbling quiet excuse me’s that nobody heard. She kept her eyes on alert, trying to find one of the people she knew. It was like everyone had disappeared.

Ivy let out a delicate whimper as she felt tears slide down her cheeks. She was terrified to stop walking, to turn around. She feared he would be there to grab her again, and this time he’d force his way to what he wanted. She reached into her purse, digging out her phone to try and make a call to someone. She had one bar of service, and she wasn’t sure if the others had any at all. She tried to call Emma, but it went to voicemail as if her phone was dead. Her hand was shaking so hard she almost dropped her phone. She was so afraid that she completely thought over the idea of calling Niall. The phone ended up back in her purse, and her eyes moved over her shoulder.

Her stomach churned as she saw him further back. He had lost sight of her for a minute, and it caused their distance to grow. He was determined to find her, and she was absolutely horrified. She had never been in a situation like this. She almost always stayed with Emma when they went out. She never strayed away like that, especially in a place she’d never been to before.

Just as she was about to slip back into the sea of people, she spotted someone she recognized. Of course, it wasn’t the best option out of everyone she knew, but it was better than nothing. She quickened her pace and aimed straight for him. It was Harry, pulled away from the crowd with his hand on a woman’s hip. He was clearly occupied and enjoying the company he had. Ivy wasn’t necessarily focusing on what he was doing, but she saw how a smirk was stuck to his lips as he listened to whatever the woman was saying to him.

Ivy practically threw herself on him, her hands grabbing onto his arm instantly. The woman he was holding smacked her lips and said something to him, but Ivy didn’t care to listen. Harry tried to shake her off, and after a few seconds she let him go, but she didn't move away.

“Ha-Harry.” She choked on his name, quickly shooting her eyes over her shoulder to see if he was near.

“Go away.” Harry grunted, giving her an annoyed expression. He was still holding onto the woman, so he guided her a few feet away, trying to get away from Ivy.

“Harry.” She said his name again, this time louder.

The woman didn’t appear to like that he was attracting attention that wasn’t from her. She told him to forget it and rolled her eyes as she turned away from him.

“What the fuck do you want?” He threw his hands in the air as he moved to face Ivy, who he was very irritated by.

“Please just act like you know me for five minutes!” She whined out, her eyes pleading with him.

That’s when he noticed she was crying, but he was confused. “Huh?”

“Please!” She yelled back, her hand reaching up to grab onto his shirt. She didn’t even realize she was doing it.

Harry just stared at her a moment, then looked down to where she was fisting his shirt. “What’s wrong with you?”

“There’s.. there’s a guy following me and.. I’m scared.” She looked past her shoulder again, then quickly back to him. “Harry, please.”

He moved his eyes behind her, trying to see if he could figure out what she was looking at. “Following you? What happened?”

For the first time since they’ve met, she could tell he was sincere with his concern. He leaned his head down so he could hear her over the music. Her wet eyes looked over his features as she tried to gather her thoughts. Everything was happening so fast. His green eyes were softened as he fixed them on her, and his brows were furrowed as he waited for an answer. This is when she realized she was clutching his shirt. She nervously looked down at her hand, then released her grip on him. He didn’t say anything about it, just watched her closely.

“I.. I was at the bar.. by myself.. and this guy kept bothering me.” She explained in a broken voice, her eyes searching his face for something she wasn't even sure of. She was just trying to distract herself from what was going on. “I.. I walked off and he started following me.”

“Why the fuck were you by yourself?”

She huffed. “I don’t know! I.. I couldn’t find Emma or Niall or anyone.. I-I just saw you.”

Harry let out a sigh and let his eyes linger behind her again. “What’s he wearing?”

“He’s behind me, I know he is. I saw him.”

He glanced at her, wishing she would just tell him but he understood she was afraid. “Show me.”

Ivy nodded slowly and turned her head back, once again searching for his presence behind her. And immediately she saw him, he was looking around, walking slower with his hands stuck in his pockets. He had a snarl on his face, like he was pissed off that he lost sight of her again. When she returned her eyes to Harry, he furrowed his brows tighter. It was so easy to see how terrified the girl was. As much as he acted like he usually didn’t care about anything at all, he was taking this very seriously.

“Who is it?”

“The guy right there.. by the girl with the blue dress on.”

Harry easily saw who she was referring to. He had never been in the situation where he had to do this for one of his friends, but he was smart enough to figure out the obvious solution.

“Stay close to me, alright?” The way his hand curved to fit against her waist felt more natural than it was supposed to.

She kept her eyes on his chest, staring at the cross dangling from his neck. She wanted to melt into a puddle or shoot up through the ceiling, she wanted to disappear from this place. Not only was she terrified, but she was embarrassed by the way she reacted when she found Harry. She had interrupted whatever he was up to and fell against him like he was supposed to be a hero. Of course, that was now taking over her mind and the whole bar situation was gone from her focus. Harry easily took center stage in her mind..

He kept his eyes locked on the guy, he had gotten closer already. The natural instinct to protect was present, which led to his hand sliding to the small of her back as the guy locked eyes with him. He recognized the girl he had been chasing, he was familiar with her backside. Harry didn’t dare blink as the guy stared him down.

“Is.. is he.. gone?” Ivy’s head fell back to look at Harry. She was unaware of just how close they were. Their bodies were touching, her hands were lifted between them and gently brushing his abdomen as she waited for him to answer her. “Harry..”

The quiet chirp of his name made him dart his eyes down for just a second. She had stopped crying, but her eyes were puffy and her makeup was smudged on her skin. He felt bad for the girl, she hadn’t asked for any of this to happen. She was sure he hated her guts and didn’t want to be around her, but she was grateful he was keeping her close right now. Maybe he was good at pretending to care.

“Just be quiet right now.”

His choice of words wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but she didn’t have a choice. She let her eyes fall back to his chest, maybe she could distract herself with the ink that was peeking out from beneath his shirt. She wondered what else his body hid. Was he covered from shoulders to thighs, was his back inked, what about his legs?

Ivy let out a shriek all of a sudden. “Ow!”

Harry groaned as he realized his fingers were tangled in her hair. The rings stuck on his fingers were catching pieces of her hair. He pulled his hand back, taking a few pieces with him. She felt each strand that was being plucked from her scalp.

“Why the fuck is your hair so long?” He was frustrated now.

“Ow! Stop, that hurts!” She scooped her hair over her shoulder, trying to get it away from his fingers.

“Not my fault.” He huffed out, shaking his head in disbelief at their situation.

She went quiet again, not even moving as he returned his hand to her back. He was gentle with his touches, not wanting to scare her or make her uncomfortable especially since she’s been harassed already tonight. The guy had moved to the wall, his arms crossed as he pretended to not notice her. He gave them a glance every couple of seconds, trying to catch Harry off guard but it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t going to let Ivy slip away and get harmed, no matter how much he wanted her to leave him alone.

“He’s still staring at you.” Harry felt a sting in his chest as the guy licked his lips, his eyes attached to her body. “Did you say you were here alone?”

She hesitated at first to answer. “No.. I said I was with friends.”

“Did he touch you?” Harry asked the question the very moment she pushed her curled hands into his body, she was leaning against him.

For some reason, he was feeling extremely conflicted by all of this. Was he reacting so intensely because he knew the girl? If it were a stranger, would he be this focused on handling the issue and solving her problems, soothing her worries? He didn’t know how to feel about it, all he knew was that he was pissed off someone thought they could get away with this. He didn’t have much time to ponder it, the anticipation of her answer was driving him crazy. If she said yes, he feared he would have to slam the guy’s head into the wall.

“Like.. did he grope me?” Her voice finally broke out.

Harry licked his lips and carefully nudged her chin with the side of his index finger, pushing her head back so he could see her. “Did he touch you in any way, Ivy?”

He didn’t care if he just shook her hand, if her answer was yes he was going to lose his composure. Ivy couldn’t talk back, her heart was too busy pounding in her chest. Her eyes widened as she stared at him, the sound of her name being spoken in his voice was foreign to her. She was absolutely sure that he had never said her name before, never mumbled it or even said it in front of her to someone else. Harry softened his hard stare and withdrew his touch from her chin.

“Answer me, please.” He gave her a stern lift of his brows, silently instructing that she do what he said.

She quickly nodded. “Yes.. he touched my waist.”

Harry clenched his jaw and shot his gaze to the guy who was in the same spot, as if he was waiting for her to be set free so he could take her for himself. He moved his hand to her waist and slightly squeezed her, and of course she noticed it. Her stomach filled with butterflies as he leaned even closer down to her level, even her heels didn’t make her tall enough for him.

“Stay right here. Do not move, do you understand me?” He spoke calmly, hoping that she would just listen to him.

“Yes.. I understand.” Ivy’s voice was as light as a feather.

He wasn’t too surprised that her bright, outgoing personality had fallen to such a fragile demeanor. He witnessed it at the restaurant when she grew so shy in front of him, how hesitant and timid she could get..

“Don’t move.” He repeated.

Harry dropped his arm from her body and took a step forward, but she quickly grabbed his wrist and jumped in front of him. He looked down at her with knitted brows.

“Wait! What if.. someone else..” Her voice trailed off as the endless possibilities began to fill her mind.

Harry didn’t let her stop him, though. He shewed her hand back and gave her some reassurance. “Nobody will touch you. Stay right here.”

Ivy rotated just so she could keep her eyes on Harry. The last thing she wanted was to get separated again. She bit down on her cheek as she watched Harry walk up to the guy. She saw his mouth moving, but had no clue what he was saying. Nobody cared to look at them, everyone was just dancing and minding their own business. Harry took a step closer, his height was even to the man who had chased her through the crowd.

She felt her hands shaking by her sides as Harry obviously became heated. He was yelling now, pointing his finger at the man like he was scolding a child. Ivy was curious to know what he was saying. Was he throwing threats out and telling him how shitty it was to be that way towards someone? Was he telling him he’d beat the hell out of him if he looked her way again? A thousand thoughts flew to her mind, but none were strong enough to distract her from Harry. She gasped, throwing her hand over her chest as she watched Harry shove the guy into the wall, but he withdrew hands clearly not wanting to fight.

What she didn’t know was that Harry was telling him that if he saw him look her way one more time, he’d beat the absolute hell out of him. He made sure to mention specific ways he could bury his fist into the guy’s body and face, how he could break his nose or knock a few teeth out. His ultimate goal was to terrify the guy just as much as Ivy was. Harry gave him one last push into the wall before walking away.

Her pulse increased rapidly as he quickly rejoined her, his hand reaching for her waist as a way to guide her. His skin was flushed from the yelling, his body tense and his chest tight. He was angry, more angry than Ivy had ever seen him. The look on his face beat out any irritated expression or rude glance he’d ever given her.

“C’mon.” He grumbled out, reaching down to grab her hand.

The butterflies in her stomach grew to the size of dragons as she felt his warm skin against hers. Now wasn’t the time to swoon over him, though. This was a more serious situation that she had a dire need to escape from. Harry didn’t give her any other choice, he started walking and yanked her behind him.

They navigated their way to the entrance, Harry leading her like a lost puppy through the crowd. He wasn’t being polite in any way, of course. He was ramming his shoulder into people as he walked past them and pushing past stubborn ones who wouldn’t move at all. Ivy stayed close behind him, her hand clutching his for dear life. He didn’t return her strong grip, he just allowed her to hold on to him so she wouldn’t get lost again. He had never had anyone hold his hand as tight as this girl was. It sort of amazed him, her strength was probably from the fear, but it impressed him. He’d never tell her that.

When they finally reached the entrance and made it outside, Ivy felt a weight lift off her shoulders. The breeze began to blow her hair around, the cool wind covered her skin in bumps. She felt like she had freedom for the first time. There were no more crowds, no suffocating people with sweaty skin and loud screams. There was no intense shaking of the ceiling and floor from the loud music, no more chaos..

Harry walked her away from the entrance. When he stopped and turned to face her, he felt an odd feeling in his chest. She still had a pout on her thick lips, tear stained cheeks, and wide eyes. He exhaled, licking over his lips as he stared at her for a moment longer. Finally, he released her hand and pulled his phone from his pocket.

Ivy felt a wave of nausea. It was more intense than what she experienced earlier in the night. Now that she was out in the open, able to fully comprehend everything that happened, she was feeling her body’s reaction to the anxiety. She pressed her hand over her stomach, groaning as she felt something come up her throat.

She turned away from Harry, not wanting him to witness her empty her stomach. It was coming, she could literally feel it.

“Hey, look we have a problem.” She heard his voice as he spoke to Niall on the phone, but this time it wasn’t enough to distract her..

Ivy swatted her hair over her shoulder just in time. She leaned over and started throwing up. She didn’t have time to be embarrassed. It came quickly, everything she had consumed throughout the day was out of her system. She let out a quiet grunt and wiped her hand over her mouth. The only good thing was that now she felt much better.

Harry had told Niall a brief summary of what happened, and said that it would be best if someone takes her back to the hotel. Niall said he would round everyone up and they would all leave. Ivy didn’t care what was being said on the phone, she was just staring off at nothing. Her stomach was starting to relax now, recovering from what it just went through.

“Are you alright?” Harry came up behind her, but he didn’t reach for her like he had easily done earlier. He didn’t want to overstep any boundaries she had.

“Yeah.” She mumbled while twisting around to face him. “I think so.”

“First you almost break your ankle.. then you try to get drugged at the bar. How do you make it on your own?” He questioned, unable to believe that she was capable of surviving.

“I’m sorry.” She uttered out, her voice as soft as a feather. She nervously folded her arms on her chest and looked down at her feet. She felt ashamed.

“Stop apologizing.”

Ivy furrowed her brows, but kept her eyes locked on the ground. “What do you want me to say then?”

“I don’t know.”

For a second, she was just going to ignore him and go mute until Emma made it to her, but something changed. She felt that usual sense of confidence and sass enter her body. The memory of what happened at the bar that night replayed in her mind. She defended herself, but soon after the worrying began. Ivy didn’t want to worry about him anymore. He had this power over her she wanted to destroy.

“Almost tripping is one thing, but I didn’t ask to get harassed.” Her voice was at a normal level now, her tone mimicking the rude one he usually gave her. “Don’t you dare say it’s my fault.”

Harry huffed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Sounded like it.”

He pushed his hand through his hair, tugging back the long locks. “I didn’t say it was your fucking fault.”

“That’s your favorite word, isn’t it? Fuck this, fuck that, fuck everything!” She yelled back, her hands balled into fists by her side now.

He scoffed at her. “Are you trying to offend me? I couldn’t care less.”

“I’m trying to treat you like you treat me!”

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Ivy could explode from the anger she was feeling. “You’re a terrible person!”

Harry let out an unamused laugh and threw his arms up. He walked off, shaking his head in disbelief, but he didn’t go far. He turned to face her again, a dumbfounded look on his face.

“If it weren’t for me, you’d be drugged in the back of someone’s fucking car right now. I think that’s me treating you fucking nicely.”

She could hardly believe she was actually arguing with him and holding her own. He used to be so intimidating and unapproachable, but not anymore. There was no more shyness or fear filling her veins. She was angry and she wanted to get it all out.

“Don’t act like you’re an angel. You treat me like you hate me! You don’t even know me.” She fired back, steam rolling out of her ears.

Harry looked towards the front entrance in time to see Niall and the others walking out, their eyes searching for them. He wanted to say more to her, but he didn’t have the time. He didn’t want anyone to overhear this conversation.

“If I hated you, I would’ve let you get hurt tonight.”

Ivy parted her lips to speak, but Emma’s voice calling out her name stopped her. Harry backed up when everyone came running up to her. He didn’t want to overplay his part. It was all quickly pushed aside.

“Ivy! Oh my god, are you okay?” Emma embraced her in a tight hug, squeezing her tight.

“I’m okay, yeah.” She breathed out, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I shouldn’t have let you go alone, I’m so sorry.”

“Emma, no.” Ivy pulled back and took hold of both of her hands. “Don’t say that.”

It was obvious that Emma wanted to cry, but she was trying to hold back the tears. The second Niall told her what happened, she felt her heart shatter. Something happening to her friend was never a good thing to think about.

Niall reached over and touched her elbow. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.. I.. threw up over there, but I’m okay.”

Emma moved to let Michelle hug her, and she quickly walked to where Harry stood. He gave her a smile when she thanked him for being there for Ivy. He didn’t say much back, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. He felt as though he didn’t do that much, really. He was just in the right place at the right time. He got her away from the guy before anything could happen. As much as he tried to convince himself it wasn’t a big deal, he was glad he was there when she needed it most.

—•—

During the night, Ivy experienced a few unsettling dreams that woke her up from her sleep. One of them was so intense that she had to get up and stand by the air conditioner, cooling her flushed face and trying to relax her body. She slept horribly. She would bet she didn’t even get three full hours. Despite it being a bad night, she didn’t wake up Michelle or call Emma to bother her. She thought about it, but she had already done so much that she believed put a damper in the trip, she didn’t want to ruin anything else.

The morning in the hotel was a lot better. She felt less stressed once she was able to get some socialization. Emma and Alyssa had came into the room to have some girl time before they all had to get ready. They didn’t have any big plans for Saturday, but there were some things everyone wanted to do. Zayn, Alyssa, and Michelle decided to go on a historic tour of a house they all found interesting while the others chose to stroll through the downtown area. Ivy had mentioned something about an art gallery she found while searching up things to do in the area. Emma was intrigued with it, so she forced Niall to go along with her. Cory and Harry tagged along, too.

As they walked down the sidewalk, Ivy let her eyes wonder in the shop windows. There was an antique store that she found interesting, perhaps she’d suggest they swing by it before they leave the area. There was a small cafe that pumped the smell of fresh baked sweets out onto the street. It was a quaint area, she found it very lovely.

When they got to the gallery, they sort of went their separate ways. Niall and Emma walked hand in hand as they observed the displayed work. Ivy decided to walk on her own. There were a variety of artists who were being showcased at the gallery. The information pamphlet they were each given when they first came in listed details about the artists. Ivy read over the paragraphs of each artist. She was very much in her element while being here. This was one of her favorite things to do. She turned the corner into the next room and quietly swallowed as she saw that Harry was the only one occupying the room.

She tried to keep her footsteps light so she wouldn’t be a disturbance. He appeared to be very focused by the painting he was standing in front of. His arms were behind his back, his hand holding onto his other wrist. He leaned forward to get a better look at the piece, but he maintained a respectful distance.

As she got closer, she could hear him mumbling to himself. She tried to ignore it as she looked at the adjacent wall’s pieces. The artist displayed in this room was more of a contemporary abstract artist. This wasn’t necessarily her favorite category of art, but she was appreciative of the person’s creativity and craft. She strolled by the collection, admiring the striking colors and shapes, but not focusing as much on a singular piece as someone was.

She hadn’t realized how close she was to Harry until she heard him more clearly. A smile toyed on her lips at his comment.

“That’s an interesting color choice. I wouldn��t do that.”

Ivy didn’t want to scare him, though she was sure he knew someone was in here even if he didn’t know it was specifically her. She took a breath and decided to be polite to him, instead of doing everything in her power to ignore his existence.

“Do you critique often?”

Harry turned his head towards her, not realizing she was speaking to him at first. He didn’t respond, just gave her a momentary stare. There was a desire inside of him that craved to burst out - he wanted to talk to her. It was difficult because he knew she didn’t like being around him. Their first impressions of each other didn’t go well, and nothing since seemed to work out either. So, he shifted his stare back to the painting.

Ivy wasn’t surprised at all by him, yet she didn’t want to give in to his game. Based on how intensely focused he was, she believed he wouldn’t behave in an aggressive way in the gallery. Now if they were elsewhere, he might would tell her to fuck off, that’s his favorite word after all..

“What’s the interesting choice you don’t like?” Her voice distributed the silence again, making him set his jaw. He wanted to be alone.

Harry studied the side of her face as intensely as he did the painting. He wondered what was on her mind. The blue of her eyes sparkled under the bright lights above them. Her lips were set in a very subtle smile as she read over the paragraph about the artist. He shifted his eyes back to the piece.

“The bright orange. It wouldn’t have been my pick.” He finally stated.

“Do you paint?”

Her quick reply made him softly sigh. He didn’t really want to conversate with her, but he purposely chose no other option.

“No, not at all. Just an observer.”

Ivy nodded slowly, opting to not say anything. She admired the painting for a few minutes, curious to know what his thoughts were. How did he interpret the piece? There were no purposeful shapes or patterns, it was completely random and abstract. Did he find anxiety in that like she did, or was he the kind of person who could understand and feel abstractness? She assumed he would walk away if she asked anything like that, so she didn’t. Instead, she reverted to the thought she’s had all day. As much as she wanted to forget last night, it was impossible.

“Thanks for last night.” She spoke a bit louder this time.

Harry smirked to himself, she didn’t catch it. “Did we do something I don’t remember?”

His cocky attitude was nothing new, and she just rolled her eyes at him. Maybe that was his way of being friendly, by sort of being a jackass with his comments. She didn’t know him well enough to decide if that was true. She was leaning more towards ‘he’s just a dick’.

“I’m serious, Harry. Thanks for helping me.” She said through a deep breath, her eyes falling from the painting. “I really appreciate it.”

He shrugged lightly. “Don’t mention it.”

“And I’m sorry for being mean to you about it. I was just overwhelmed.”

She didn’t expect him to turn towards her. She copied his movements, not sure what was next. Was he going to be nice to her for once? It was more likely that he’d snap at her. Her heart started to beat faster than normal.

“I don’t want to talk about it. It’s over now. Don’t thank me and don’t apologize. You like apologizing when you don’t need to.”

Although his words were harsh, she was sort of grateful that his tone was normal. He spoke to her like he knew she was human. All she gave him in return was an understanding nod. When he rotated himself to face the painting again, she made the decision to leave him alone. She left the room and moved onto the next one. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk to her about anything, so there was no need to keep trying.

[a/n: I have been waiting forever to post this part of the series. Things are moving along now, we’re building that drama and suspense (I hope). thanks for being patient with the slow burn, it’ll be worth it I promise! More to come soon! part 5 will be like 3 where it’s necessary for the plot line. 6 and on will be juicy!! Reblog, like, tell me how you feel in the comments! <3]

taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @victoriasigaard @ariiscringe @harlowsgirl @lomllover @haniaaa04 4 @sideboobrry11 @tenaciousperfectionunknown n @fangirl509east @fruity-harry @sassamanda77 7 @lizsogolden @prettygurl-2009 @sincerely-yours-marsbar r @boopookie @mypolicemanharryyy @angelbunny222 @mads3502 @harrysredroom @inlikea-coolway @matildasatellite @imaginexxharry

[erinwantstowrite]

Hey! :) I’ve really been wanting to get into reading comics but I have no idea where to start 🥲

Do you have any recommendations or references for how to start reading about different dc characters? I mainly want to start reading about batman and the rest of his clan but I want to branch out to other characters as well

hi!! i've gotten this question a lot and i'm so sorry it's taken me so long to answer all of y'all! but i wanted to make sure if i made a list, it would be with the best references i could find, and that it made sense for even a beginner

what i've found is that... there's apparently no right answer? mostly, you'll find people recommending you to start with their favorite collections, like Batman: Hush, etc etc. from what i've been able to tell, getting into comics is about choosing one that sounds the most interesting to you, and going from there. if you like the collection you've picked up, then someone will recommend another collection, so on. a lot of people recommend that you start with a certain character, someone that you really like. so if Tim Drake is calling to you like many... many people, then you can find a reading guide for him and pick and choose from a collection. like this one from this blogger that helped me. one of my favorite characters is Cassandra Cain (though I don't write her as often, which kind of happens when I really like a character?). she has a Batgirl run!! Batgirl #1. (((please note that this link takes you to readallcomics.com, which you should use an adblocker for if you want to use this website. however!! it is very different from readcomics.com))) look how cool she is!!

however I personally like to try and read in chronological order because I don't like missing out on anything. in my search, i found an amazingly ordered, extensive website called comicbookherald.com

i started using this because they have a list in chronological order for many, many, many characters in the DC universe:

https://www.comicbookherald.com/reading-dc-comics/

one of the very first options on this list is Batman (listed in alphabetical), and when you click on him, you'll find exactly what you're looking for:

https://www.comicbookherald.com/reading-dc-comics/batman-reading-order/

the links on the actual titles in the list will take you to Amazon to buy the comic, but there are other ways to find these comics either online (like seen above with Batgirl #1) or through your local library (recommended). if your library doesn't have them, you might be able to find them at a nearby one or you can ask the librarian how a request works. they'd probably be happy to get it for you (support your local libraries!!!) you might find that you prefer going to a comic shop, and that's great too

i also looked up the publication history of the Batman comics using Wikipedia, just to make sure that I knew what i was doing, and i started with the very first on the list: Detective Comics #27. this is Bruce Wayne/Batman's very first appearance.

i also found some helpful videos that i personally have tried to follow:

"BATMAN 101: A GUIDE TO HELP YOU START READING BATMAN COMICS!" by History of the Batman

"Where to Start Reading Batman Comics | Best Batman Comics for Beginners in Collected Editions!" by Near Mint Condition

the issue is that it's pretty hard to read all of the characters at once and stay in order, which means you'll probably want to stick to reading one character at a time and piecing it together like that. but if you're feeling brave, i'd cross reference the years and publication history and go by the order of when each character shows up: start by reading Batman, and when Dick Grayson appears, look up his list and see how the publication history looks, and i guess start trying to read them side by side? the same would go for when Jason appears, then Tim, etc etc. but this might be VERY difficult, so i am very much recommending beginners to start by reading Batman's and branch out from there

my personal favorite right now is Batman & Robin: Year One because Dick Grayson is in it and he's so cute here in his Robin days

edit: adding on this ask i got about hoopla

[funnier-as-a-system]

Hey, um... This ain't exactly.. An easy thing to say but, uh..

.._I SCARED OFF MY HEADMATES._

I JUST REFERRED TO THEM AS "THE VOICES" BECAUSE. WELL. I DIDN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THIS STUFF THEN!! AND ALWAYS DISREGARDED THEM WHENEVER THEY SPOKE [THEY ARGUES A WHOLE LOT. LITERALLY COULDN'T DO ANY WORK FROM THE SOUNDS OF 0NI, D AND COMPLEXITY ARGUING ALL THE TIME-]

Ok.. Calm calm.....

So. I never ever listened to them and sometimes also arguing with them tried my best to ignore them.. Yelling "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" repeatedly usually got them to... Well, _shut up._

But just. We had another argument together. After _STARSCREAM_[don't even ask me how she got in here I don't fucking know] decided to act all mighty and shit another yelling match started that I just.. Couldn't take it anymore.. I had some.. Uhm, "quite the words" to say the least. They silenced for the day after that..

And then the next morning they just.. Weren't there when I woke up. At first I was, well, glad! It was finally quite for once! I could do things that normal people did! But uh.. After the second day it was far too quiet for my liking.. And.. It's been a month now. It's still too quiet.. Starscream[why HIM instead of others I have no idea] came back for 20 minutes a week ago.. I was glad to have at least SOMEONE back but she went away again..

I learned about this whole "system" stuff thanks to a follower saying "oh this is such a funny post as a system!" on a reblog I've done. --Which led me here. I've been... _Learning_ the past few days.. And. Well. Things really do fit me well and.. I'm not sure if I hate that or not...

I.. The reason for this _ask_ is because.. I wanted to know if others had this.. Well, "_experience_" too? Like.. I.. I miss them, alright? It suddenly went from 7 to 1 in here and it's far too quiete!!! I just.. I wanted to know if there was possibly a way to bring them back..?

I understand if this isn't the way to go for this typa stuff but... I.. I really don't know _where else_ there is.

Welp. Thanks for.. Having this account and all I suppose. Were a real help in things and, the posts are quite funny as well..! [Sigh..]

- @blog-bites-eats-u-violently

Hey, there. It sounds like you've been having a rough time lately. You have my sympathies for that. I won't give too much advice on this situation you're in – I don't feel equipped to do that – but you're not alone in this experience, anon. We went through a very similar situation a few years back, actually.

At the time, we'd just recently made our then-host (as in, the headmate who was our host at the time) aware that they had others in their head, that they were part of a system. We had... a rough few months after that, filled with fear and doubt. And at one point, our then-host became overwhelmed, and ended up driving away the headmates who were talking to them.

The silence lasted for about two days before another headmate of ours stepped up to talk to our then-host, helping them work through their issues and reconnect with those they'd run off. From what they can remember of the event, it was mostly a matter of mentally "reaching out" – consciously trying to connect to the ones they'd driven off so they could apologize. None of us are sure how it worked – best we've got is that we've always visualized our communication difficulties as walls that we have to get our internal communication/messages past – but it did, and we're all chill now on that front.

So, yes, others have had this experience before, and your headmates will likely come back to talk to you again. I can't promise anything, but if my-our story is anything to go off of, even situations like this can be recoverable. It just may take a while for all the hurt to be worked out.

[marinettesaltprompts]

Marinette Salt Prompts: In which Max saves Paris by being himself - Part 1

Prompt by yours truly :)

Warning: Long Post!

When Max first became Pegasus, he was initially excited to become a hero. Getting these cool awesome powers, being able to help the people of Paris and be seen more than just a computer geek had put a spring in his step.

And it still was! ... For a time at least.

But then one day following an akuma attack in which Max lost conciousness (from a wasp attack? did Chloe get akumatised again?) Ladybug came by with a new suit and a declaration that she was the "Guardian" (whatever that had meant). Nobody questioned the declaration, even Max.

This of course, meant that Pegasus became a hero more than not.

This didn't seem so bad at first ... but then the weariness began to set in. More and more akuma's appeared, resulting in Max having to be called more often, leaving him tired and exhausted as a result. While Max was lucky enough that he had not managed to to be hit by an akuma's power, seeing one of his hero allies just disappear sent shivers down the poor genius's spine. Especially when Roi Singe was hit (even though Max had no clue who he was, he seemed familliar).

It didn't help that Ladybug and Chat Noir, the main Heroes of Paris, had begun to fight a lot more. At first it was just simple disagreements, but then it became louder. Max noted that Chat kept trying to get close to Ladybug, but the latter kept trying to push him away. At first Max had assumed that it was due to Chat's well known crush on Ladybug, but now he was not so sure, especially when she began to get snappy with others even if Chat had said nothing the enitre fight (which in itself became more and more uncommon). Ladybug was obviously stressed, but whenever anyone commented on it, she would either deny it or get incredibly angry (especially if it was Chat Noir that made the statement)

It was only after a long and terrible akuma battle that Max began to see things differently. More than half the heroes had been "disappeared", only to be returned back to life with the Miraculous Ladybug. A lot of the heroes looked very uncomfortable, but had said nothing as Ladybug once again congratulated them on a won battle.

Max finally spoke up.

"Um... actually, I have a question?"

The way Ladybug seemed to snap her head to him almost made him jump back, but seeing as she had some sort of smile on her face, he continued.

"These akuma's have started to become more and more problematic recently ... more than half of us were... vanished, when normally that doesn't happen..."

Of course it happened more often, they just didn't say anything. But this is the worst one yet. Most of them vanished. ONLY vanished. We don't say kill because thats impossible to think about without feeling sick to the core

"... perhaps we should approch the problem with the akumas a bit more differently?"

Ladybug paused, the smile disappearing from her face as she contemplated what he said.

"...Well... sure. I suppose we don't spend enough time actually training. I mean, me and Noir have a lot of experience but all of you are much newer than we are ..." Ladybug snapped her fingers in excitement "Oh I know! How about we meet up for a training session? Perhaps we could all take the time to learn how to use our powers better!"

Despite the well intentions behind it, Max actually felt sick at the idea of having to spend more time in the costume. He actually had his own life to worry about thank you very much. (Unbeknwnst to him, several others felt the same way).

"N-No! I-I mean that was what I was going with, we are ok with using our abilities." Max said hurriedly, avoiding the subtle displeasure on Ladybug's face. "What I meant to say was... shouldn't we try and solve the issue directly."

"What, you mean the akumas?" Ladybug asked.

"No ... I meant Hawkmoth. Shouldn't we do something about finding him?"

The question caused everyone to perk up at the thought. Even the now-normally silent Chat Noir raised his ears at the suggestion.

However, Ladybug's face remained stone cold.

"That's ... not possible."

"What do you mean its not? I mean, we have these powers right? Couldn't we use them to find him?" Max said, even as the others visibly shrinked with anger.

"I'm saying its not as simple as you think. We don't have the time to find him. We already spent enough time dealing with the akumas. Don't you want to go back to your normal lives?"

(The irony that the akuma's had left them busy to begin with remained lost on Ladybug's mind, even as the others inwardly cringed at the statement)

Max however refused to back down on this however. "Ladybug, with all due respect, we have been fighting an akuma every few days now. Some weeks we even had to fight every single day! Shouldn't we try to stop the problem at its source?"

"The problem," Ladybug said through gritted teeth. "is that Hawkmoth is too well hidden. We need to focus on being ready for his next attack, not wasting time on impossible goals. We can stop him for good when he finally gets cocky and shows himself."

"B-But we can't rely on that! Ladybug, he has no reason to show himself because his powers don't require him to be close to be effective. Too many of us got ki- got vanished! If this happens again we could actually be in serious trouble!"

"Look, I'm trying my best here! My plan was still able to work! We succeeded in the end right? We saved the day! That's all that matters! That's all we can do for now!" Ladybug said, her voice getting louder.

"And what if it fails the next time?"

"My plans haven't failed yet! Can't you trust me Pegasus?"

"I do! B-But you haven't been performing optimally! Every time you call us you look extremely tired, and you've begun stuttering at times when you're making a plan in battle! You've been coming to every akuma fight all tense and stressed and-"

Max's voice died out in his throat as the rest of the team flinched. He didn't want to say that word, but it slipped out on accident. The whole teamed had learned that nobody should call Ladybug stressed. But he did.

The effect was near instant. Ladybug's eyes constricted and she began to visibly tense up and shake.

"OH GREAT, NOW ITS YOU TOO! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE NOT THE ONE HAVING TO STRUGGLE HERE?! I'M THE GUARDIAN! I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT THAN YOU WASTING MY TIME ON STUPID QUESTIONS!"

Pegasu- no, Max, flinched, but tried to stay strong. Emphasis on tried, even as his confidence began to falter/

"Ladybug look, i'm sorry, but if you could jus-"

"NO, YOU DON'T GET IT. I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN STOP HAWKMOTH. ALL I ASK IS FOR THE REST OF YOU TO JUST LISTEN TO MY PLAN SO THAT WE CAN BEAT THE AKUMA AND GO HOME. BUT NO, YOU HAVE TO QUESTION EVERYTHING I DO LIKE IM DOING EVERYTHING WRONG! I HAVE TO MAKE THE PLAN! WHO ELSE CAN PURIFY THE AKUMA? WHO ELSE CAN SAVE PARIS?" Ladybug yelled as she stormed up to Pegasus, furiously tense and visibly sweating.

"But how are we supposed to save Paris if Hawkmoth is still a threat?!" Max said suddenly, a wave of adrenaline overcoming him as he momentarily met Ladybug's eyes. "We can't keep doing this forever like we have no one that won't miss us, we have our own lives too! We can't keep running off to save Paris when our families don't even know where we are! My mom doesn't know where I am!"

Ladybug narrowed her eyes.

"So this is what this is about?" Ladybug asked questionly with hostility. "That you can't keep up with being ahero? Being a hero means that sometimes we have to do what is necassary for the greater good! Not everyone can run away when you're the only one who had the power to fix it. Its about sacrifice!"

"...but this isn't sacrifice. It's a slaughter." Max said, his voice suddenly going hoarse. He felt tired in that moment, a wave of exhaustion ovecoming him as he slumped forwards. He wanted to be back home, not on these rooftops, but with his best buddy Kim and his great robot friend Markov. His family.

As the rest of the heroes stared in shock at the genius hero looking so defeated, Ladybug stood silently as she appeared apathetic to Max's outburst, merely glancing at him as she looked at her (former?) ally.

"You know what? Fine? If all of this is such a problem for you, then I'll find someone else who can take over for you. The akuma's defeated anyways." Ladybug said seriously, ignoring the shock from some of the more empathetic heroes. "Go to your rendevouz spot and wait for me. I'll come and pick up the Horse Miraculous from you. You're off the team."

Despite having no desire to be Pegasus in that moment, the callousness in Ladybug's statement caused Max to feel angry, his hand curling into a grip as he took a deep breathe in and out.

"You know what? No, I don't think I will." Max said simply, ignoring the shock on Ladybug's face as he turned around. "I'm tired, im exhausted, and I just want to go home. You know where I live, you can come and grab my Miraculous from my house once your done with the rest of your team. I'll take the express route home."

Voyage

With a simple word, Max created a portal beneath his feet, leaving to quickly for anyone to stop him or see where he ended up.

Max crashed into his bed. Quickly detrasnforming, he looked up from his bed to see Markov flying towards him.

"Oh hello Max! You look very tired!"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that buddy." Max replied.

"Oh no! You look upset, did something happen?"

As Max sat up from his bed, he began to recount his story as he changed from his normal outfit into his pyjama's. As Max sat down at the computer, he finished recounting this story to Markov.

"...And that's where I am now. So many other heroes got hurt and I'm worried that we won't be able to take another attack like that, but now Ladybug is mad at me and now I'm off the team! Sure, I don't have to be part of the battle, but it won't help when the next monster of the day suddenly levels Paris's city flat!"

"That sounds like a problem!" Markov replied. Though his emotion program was a bit simple, he felt a bit sad for his friend (and a bit angry at Ladybug, though not enough to trigger an akuma attack).

"Yeah, tell me about it. Not to mention that Hawkmoth is still out there, wherever he's hiding."

As Markov began to ponder how he could help his friends mood, a thought came to him.

"Perhaps we could solve this Hawkmoth issue ourselves."

"W-What? Markov I don't think thats possible. I mean, I am about to lose the Horse Miraculous once Ladybug finds me, I don't think we can do much against a magical supervillain."

"True, but as you said to Ladybug, fighting isn't doing us much good at the moment either. In order to stop the akuma's we need to solve the problem at the source. By all accounts, there's a 99% probability that Hawkmoth is a normal human adult outside of his costume. All we need to do is find out who Hawkmoth is and then we can catch him off guard to defeat him! Simple is it not?"

Max contemplated the idea, slowly nodding as he agreed with Markov. "That does seem like a good idea... but where can we start? It's not like we can just track down where he lives. Paris is huge!"

"So we will just have to go for the next two best things. His akumas and his victims! If we can track where those butteflies come from and where they are headed, we can follow them back to his lair!"

"His lair Markov?"

The robot nodded. "I don't remember much when I was Robustus, but I was able to recover a still image of Hawkmoth from his perspective! Apparently he has a huge lair from which he hides!"

"Wait, you had this the whole time? Why not tell anyone?"

"... I didn't think it was useful" Markov said embarrassingly.

Max decided to let it go though as he began to formulate an idea. "So... he sends his akuma's from a lair. So in order to find the lair we need to find the where the akuma's are flying from..."

Slowly, Max looked through his room. Scattered about were serveral drones, some of which were dismantled in order to create the shell for Markov's AI. If he could create a program to speciifically track down these akuma's...

His thought process was interrupted by a knock on his window, Max turned to see the window opened by an unimpressed Ladybug.

"Max"

"... Ladybug"

"the Horse Miraculous. Where is it?"

Wordlessly, Max gave her the box. Ignoring the look on her face, Max opened his laptop as he began to write a code on his laptop.

Ladybug contined to stare at him.

"You know, I was really hoping that you would have reconsidered your actions when I asked you to go to the rendevous point. I'm disappointed to see that I was proven wrong. Especially with that stunt you pulled."

Max continued to ignore her as he kept typing.

Ladybug sniffed her nose as she turned to leave. "Don't expect me to call you again ever. If this is how you are going to act when you are freaking out, then you don't deserve to be on this team."

Max never took his eyes off the computer, even as Markov stared angrily at Ladybug, wanting to say something but feeling like he should not interrupt. His eyes smiling as his code and his plan started to form together.

"Go ahead. Find someone else. Superhero work wasn't cut for me anyways. I'm much better when i'm using my brain anyways. I know what I need to do now. Besides, if being on the team means being treated that way, I'll pass. Last thing I need is to follow another Chloe."

Ladybug flinched, before leaving Max's room, yoyo flying in the distance.

Max didn't notice though. He had a plan.

One that would surely deal with this akuma plan once and for all.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Hi everyone! Hope you like this new idea i've had for a while now! Sorry if it feels rushed, I wrote this while feeling quite tired. I'm making plans for a part 2 and 3, but please let me know what you guys think!

[askganon]

Sav'aaq Your Highness. This is the bloodied survivor here again, though I do not show my face it is not out of disrespect but because I have no return address, I am simply a regular of your blog. I appreciate the wound you gave me and even more so the salt, a scar made of respect and advice from the great king himself is a badge of honor in my eyes, though I admit your response had arrived a tad too late. By the time I had sent my first message I had already reflected and recognized the majority of my own failings echoing from my past abusers, parents included. But majority is not completely and I believe such a task is one that is never finished for anyone so long as the goddess of time still breathes. While one can be abandoned by many for no fault of their own, it tells a story if one is abandoned by all. Having realized this and making any attempt to improve is the only reason by those that did come back do so at all, even if they aren't ready or willing to cherish me yet. I believe, while a task that is never finished, I had grown past most of my sins that led to solitude after much struggle and training. Still, one eluded me expertly that for the life of me I could not find no matter how hard I searched that kept me at a distance from others. In the time after my message was sent but before your response, I did a lot more self reflecting and managed to find many of the demons hiding deep in the shadows behind my smile and begin the task of exterminating them. I recognize now while I was not pushing others away or running from them, I had locked myself unreachable to them and would make no attempt to approach them myself. For someone who has always championed themself an activist and vilify those who do nothing, I see now that I am the very picture of inaction. I started the training to defeat the hidden beast finally and accidentally landed a fatal blow right away by chance. Someone I considered a friend banished me without consulting the rest of our group and another who I considered my greatest companion, and whom I still do and have a stronger bond with then ever currently, who was acting as the mediator then fed the rest lies and slander due to issue regarding their own traumas leading them to believe I had thrown them away the same way I believed they had done to me. After properly communicating with them our bonds have never held more power. After reflecting on my own inaction and with its place at the center of this conflict I even reached out to past friends I haven't spoken too in many moons and have since reconnected. My connections have never been more plentiful or bountiful! I have also found work perfectly suited to me and my needs perfectly that pays respectfully to boot. Many things are still a trial, poverty's firm grip still chokes me, my abusers (though not my parents) are still close and at large and it will be many moons, possibly years, before I have accrued enough wealth to gain distance from either let alone any sort of comfort or respite. While it is a distance away greater than a dozen Death Mountains, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for the first time in my life after multiple decades and my resolve not just to survive, but to live is stronger then its ever been. I now know what hope feels like. In short Great Demon King Ganondorf: you were correct, as you often are, and though I only just now received your wisdom I have already followed it through. Though I did not need it I am honored to receive the wound and pain you have given me. I tremble to think how much I and my life will have improved by the time your response to this message arrives. I can only hope yours takes a similar turn as well and I get to hear the response at your coronation in Hyrule! Though I am still deathly tired of everything and know not how, when or if I'll get the chance to rest before I reach the light... Any other advice, encouragement or even wounds you have to give I will gladly bare.

While it is not always difficult to admit there is a problem, it can be quite the challenge to recognize the true source of the problem. You seem to have correctly identified your enemies and engaged them accordingly.

Listen and listen well to this testimony, my subjects. Here is one, a grey face at that, who has taken it upon themself to wage their own battles. They have done so with courage; understanding the need for change and finding the will to act, wisdom: taking the time necessary to learn how best to combat this threat, and power; amassing the correct weapons needed for their battles.

What is more impressive, is that you accomplished all of this before my advice was given. As such, I will take no credit for your victories, for I had no hand on them.

All your achievements were accomplished alone by your hands. Your will, knowledge, and strength were your tools, forged and used by yourself without my aid, making this victory yours by right.

Be proud in what you have done, and know that it was by your own two feet that you are able to stand.

From one warrior to another, there is respect.

[quibbs126]

Something that’s been bothering me, in Cyberverse Season 1 we hear about the Decepticon cause being made because Megatron wanted to fight against and change the corruption on Cybertron

But like, we never actually saw any of that in the flashbacks. Best you can say is Starscream having a high opinion of himself due to being a jet (or at least that’s what I think was going on? It was something about Starscream and being a jet), but you can also assume Starscream’s just being an ass, not that this is a systemic issue on Cybertron. Outside of that, everyone seems to have been doing fine, they got along and everyone was vibing and having fun, going to Cube games and chilling at Maccadam’s, going out to do some racing on a vacation to Velocitron

I do suppose we were limited to only seeing things that Bee witnessed himself, but he was there for other important events before war was declared, we could have seen some more evidence that things were bad on Cybertron before the war and why Megatron and Optimus were so intent on changing things

As it is, it feels more like telling and not showing, and I don’t really understand why the Decepticon cause was needed in the first place. Well I mean I do, but that’s because I know the story in other continuities, not because Cyberverse told me

And if I can pivot slightly, I feel like this is an issue in other shows as well. Earthspark barely went into the backstory of the war at all, only making vague allusions like the “lower-class” remark and Orion Pax getting the Matrix (which honestly I don’t remember why he got at all and if it was related to the war). And yes, Earthspark was about moving forward after the war, but also the show wanted to portray Decepticons in a more neutral light, allowing them their second chances to do better after the war. Not to mention Megatron switching sides due to realizing how far he’d strayed from his original cause. I don’t feel like telling the Terrans the original causes of the war would be out of question, it makes all the sense. Also if we’re trying to portray the Decepticons as not being pure evil, explaining the horrible conditions that drove them to starting it would do wonders. Megatron is here, he can tell the Terrans with all the correct info if the Autobots can’t

Prime also has this problem, but I’m willing to give it a lot more leeway because it was part of the Aligned continuity, which was made up of more than just this one show, and Transformers Exodus I’m told went into this backstory a lot more. So okay, it’s explained somewhere. Though personally, I wish we went into this backstory a bit more in the actual show, because all I know from it was that Megatron was a gladiator fighting for change, Orion Pax met him and agreed, then they proposed their ideas for change to the Senate and it caused them to split. I don’t actually know why they were fighting for change. Again, I know Exodus did and it was around at the same time as the show, but we don’t all have access to Exodus. And honestly it might be the reason the other shows don’t go into it much either, despite it being the only one with an excuse

Like I think this annoys me because it feels like the shows expect you to know the general backstory so we don’t have to go into it. But you’re supposed to tell us this, especially when this isn’t like Batman or Superman’s origins where everyone knows the backstory of the war

I know what the backstory is, but not because these shows told me. It’s because Emperor Kumquat told me in a YouTube video where he was explaining the Aligned backstory from Exodus, while making the point that people who only watched Prime wouldn’t know all of this. How was I supposed to know this information if I hadn’t?

And to go back to Cyberverse, I can make excuses for Prime and Earthspark; both were set long after the war started and Prime especially didn’t have much reason to go into it outside of what it did. But not only did Cyberverse have the means to show us corrupt pre-war Cybertron vis Bumblebee’s flashbacks in Season 1, it had at least a little leaning to making the Decepticons more sympathetic. They are still for the most part antagonistic, but it did make the point that Optimus originally agreed with Megatron, we had bots on both sides getting along during peace talks and Windblade being angry at Slipstream’s killer, had most of the main threats not be Megatron’s forces that had the two sides forced to team up, and by the latter half of Season 3, had Megatron be more heroic, with him saving the day from the Quintessons and wielding his own Matrix of Leadership, and working to stop the other him that he knows is coming to reclaim his Matrix. They aren’t at Earthspark Season 1’s level, but they weren’t making the Decepticons pure evil either. So I feel like we should really see what it is they were fighting for originally

[mordacitatis]

thought on the topic of ai, particularly word generators. if, for example, someone used chatgpt to write the rest of grrm's book(s), and then someone sent the generated ideas to him a la fanfic (which we all should know NOT to do), would that cause him to be unable to use any of the stuff in the story? like. if he (accidentally) read it i guess.

saw the authors suing chatgpt post and was hmmmm. hurrrm.

[khufiya-khaufnak-antariksh]

So earlier today I introduced some of my WIPs to some new people, and I realised that many people might not be familiar with those two WIPs.

Kriya Petri: fantasy (with body horror & dystopian elements). Setting: A country called Fillor on a planet called Thuluke. In Fillor, to bind yourself to the one you love, you require a trinamate potion to seal the bond. 'Trinamate' is marriage (though that is a rather crude translation of the word). But to get a trinamate potion legally, the couple needs to be… acceptable. A man and a woman who plan to have at least one child. Yes, it's been 1000 years since the global apocalypse, but 'sufficient reproduction' is still a concern among the Filore people (plus it's a moral virtue for the Divine Monarchy, who reside on the cloudlands, with an iron grip on the institutes of Fillor). A potioneer wants to elope with their lover, but the pair is, let's just say, not acceptable. So what are they to do? The potioneer brews a trinamate potion on their own, finding the closely guarded methods & ingredients for the potion through who-knows-who, bunch of shady people. The potion explodes. The potioneer knows the punishment for something like this. They'll be condemned to Kaewoe (so will their lover, if anyone finds out), a realm so deep below the ground that it's close to the core of the planet. Kaewoe, where the mind & body are destroyed by the horribly high concentration of magic. Kaewoe, the names & lives & loves of all who enter it, all slowly turned to unknowledge. Good thing stealing identities is absurdly easy in Fillor! The potioneer wipes all memory of their crimes & love (or else the Thought magicians would know), flees to the city of Naebo. Their name is now Kriya Petri,

.

Welcome To The Real World: scifi, fantasy, surrealism, horror, tragedy

This one's in very early stages Inspired by Frankenstein Setting: The Great South Asian Rip in Reality, where physics (time & space both) is just completely twisted. The year is sometime in the 2070s. Sometimes it's the 2040s outside the Rip. Depends when/where you step out. Moh-maya, reality's very fabric & everything that keeps up the illusions that comprise reality, are very malleable in here. Main character: Kabir aka Moksh. A closeted Indian trans man who lives a double life, perhaps even a triple life. One in which he's a cis woman & a regular bright STEM student (STEM studies also include study of moh-maya). Another in which he's just some guy with good friends (the most authentic of his lives), where he goes by the name Kabir & uses moh-maya to present as his true self. If only temporarily. (it's painful, mentally & physically, whenever he has to revert to the female form). The third is some mad scientist bullshit, he's going by the name of Moksh among his fellow mad scientists & his main project is a moh-maya Frankenstein's monster that others can share their consciousness with, such that they can experience shape-shifting more easily & go where they physically aren't, do things they physically can't. Let's simply call it the 'entity'. Due to many reasons, creating this entity is pretty illegal. Hence the new name & collaboration with fellow shady people. the plot, put shortly: he starts doing vigilante justice w/the entity & then goes far & gets more & more consumed w/work & things go verrrrrrryyyyyy wrong despite starting with (dubious but) good intentions.

in this second one i neglected to mention the fact that you, as the reader, get front row tickets to the main character's spiral into madness & justifying murders thru the entity + the entity is a whole person & has opinions + a whole lot of other stuff, I DID mention that this WIP is in very early stages but holy fuck i could go on & on about it (just not in a way that can be packaged in a structured & sensible introduction)

[coridallasmultipass]

Halloween costume hint:

(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)

[thethingything]

we have an especially bad migraine where I noticed us getting aura (mostly being pissed off and upset in a specific way) for several hours before it started and we've taken pain meds but I'm not sure they've actually helped. they have definitely given us side effects though and I feel very spaced out and nauseous and generally shit.

we've also had way worse ADHD symptoms for the last few days to the point of being pretty much unable to focus on anything besides like 2 things we've hyperfixated on. we've had so much trouble starting tasks and keep struggling to hold a train of thought or focus long enough to even figure out what we need to do each day despite having all our Habitica dailies to tell us.

our brain is all over the place and I'm not really sure what to do with it or what would help but it's just occurred to me that sometimes our ADHD gets really bad in the buildup to some of our worst migraines and now I'm just hoping that both the migraine and other shit ease off soon because I'd like to be able to function

[thistlekiss]

Me: starting to make lunch in the kitchen

Mother: comes in after me and makes it VERY clear that *i* am in the way

Also mother: gets pissed off when i say i'll make my food later