#or it could have been an issue when they first started getting made?

[alpaca-clouds]

Let's Talk About "Marvelfication"

Okay, let me try to get this out of my system, because I do have some thoughts on this one.

See, as you know, I finished Dragon Age: Veilguard last week. And I did enjoy the game. I never was that attached to the franchise. I really enjoyed Inquisition back in the day when it came out, but after doing two runs with it never have really returned to it. I also did play one of the older games, though I am not fully sure which one, because it was a long while ago. But I just never got that attached to the franchise. (Which mostly has to do with my own personal issues with High Fantasy.)

But that is not what I wanted to talk about. What I wanted to talk about is more the thing I have seen now multiple people call out: "The Marvelfication" as some have called it. And mind you, I absolutely do agree with this: There were several scenes in this game where I thought to myself: "This feels kinda MCU."

However, what I kinda want to talk about is the specific wording here: "Marvelfication." Because it is super understandable that the first thing that comes to mind (for me as well) is the MCU. But I think the issue is way deeper than "MCU is popular, so let's do something like the MCU".

A lot of folks on Youtube and other platforms have talked about how a lot of "tropes" that people blame on the MCU are actually older than the MCU. The reason people associate it with the MCU is moreso that the MCU is just fucking everywhere since it became this big thing. It is what defines the media landscape.

The big issue actually is another one, though: Those tropes are everywhere because in a more and more conservative media landscape they are considered safe. These types of jokes are not risky in any way. These types of characters are not risky. These types of stories are not risky.

It is stories that are set in societies that are messed up, and then there is a big conflict that only tangentally relates to the ways the societies are messed up in, and then that conflict is resolved but the status quo does not change.

And that more than anything is what I would criticize about the game. Outside of very prominently centering some trans issues, the game has taken very little risks.

I wrote about that a bit last week in comparison to BG3, how safe the companions in Veilguard feel. This shows so harshly in direct comparison to BG3, because really, Larian sat down with player and told you: "Those assholes are your companions. Take it or leave it." Those people I know who never finished BG3 mostly never did because they could not stand the companions. Meanwhile those who, like me, got obsessed with the game, mostly did it because it feels so fucking satisfying when you start to get through to the companions after they started out as those assholes. This satisfaction is something Veilguard never really offers you - because... Well, I can assume that some of these characters had some edges at some point. But whatever edges there had been, those have gotten smoothed down, so now everyone is perfectly sweet. Sure, they might argue a bit here or there, and if you make decisions they do not agree with, they are gonna be pissy with Rook for a bit, but that's the most of it.

Same with a lot of other stuff. There is basically no sexual content in this game. You get one sex scene that is super tame and you see nothing - and one to two kisses per romance. No risk.

Any no matter what kinda choice the characters make, they are all gonna be nice, you know?

There is one thing in the finale of the game that is kinda risky, I will admit. But I will not talk about that yet, because I knwo a lot of people have not finished the game.

But for the most part the game does not risk anything.

And really, that is the core of what folks call "Marvelfication". Because pretty much this is also the issue with Marvel and Star Wars and pretty much all American made media: Outside of some smaller productions, some of which do well with the tumblr crowd but barely get any attention from mainstream audience (*coughs* Interview with the Vampire *coughs*) there is little risk taken. The humor is the same everywhere because this humor is considered safe. The characters feel kinda samey everywhere, because those characters are safe.

It is why I have stopped going to the cinema, because these days there are barely any movies I consider worth watching. It is ironically also why I have recently watched a whole lot more Japanese stuff, because it is easier to find stuff there that does not play it that safe.

It is also why I do these days mostly consume western stuff that has a 18+ rating on it - because at least with that stuff I know that it probably is not gonna play it "safe".

I just wish some media took more risks. I want those medium budget projects back, that cost like 30-50 million, so can make a profit with 100 million at the box office, without doing billions. I want some stuff in there that is not a big IP. I just want... stuff.

Right now I am looking at the soon end of What We Do In The Shadows, mostly because it is one of the few things on right now that does some risky stuff. And I miss those SyFy low budget originals, because some of it was kinda risky. Ugh.

The issue is not Marvel. It is not even Disney. It is that the creative industries in the US right now mainly put out big budget stuff that because of that big budget needs to be loved by everyone.

And look, I am trans. Hence I absolutely do see some value in the fact that Bioware clearly took position and said: "Okay, we get to do one risky thing, so that thing is gonna be to incluse a variety of trans characters." Which I love and respect. But I kinda wish the game had not been quite that pretty and instead also included a bit more edges on the characters.

... But I guess in the end there is still fanfiction, where I can still make the characters messy. lol

[jojotichakorn]

i started penning a post about how i always find it narratively unsatisfying when an arc ends with a conclusion the following arc breaks, regardless of how realistic the repetition of the same mistake might be, which is still true, but i actually want to talk about something else right now.

i feel like, at least at this stage, jack is in a position that is both generally unrealistic and untrue to the specific events of the series. 'jack and joker' has a clear focus on poverty and money and class issues, but it seems to treat jack in a very special way. he somehow manages to stand on the moral high ground above other characters. specifically, other poor characters. which is, first of all, a little ridiculous, since he was indeed a debt collector and, in fact, almost became the boss's son. and, second of all, is generally Not Great, because it does idolise the idea that if you "just try hard enough", you won't "allow" yourself to be backed into a corner and therefore won't have to do bad things.

now, don't get me wrong, i am not saying that our characters who have made mistakes are completely blameless. tattoo did shitty things (and hoy followed suit), safe did shitty things, hope frankly admitted to enjoying doing shitty things. however, if we zoom out a little, we will see that all these characters are in a situation that is inherently unfair to them. we have all of these poor people in immense amounts of debt and then we have this disgusting rich motherfucker whose entire wealth is literally based on making their lives as miserable and unfair as they are. and i think that, in this particular case, the series would have actually benefited from a dichotomy. don't get me wrong, i'm usually absolutely brimming with nuance and also asking "what lies outside of it?" but this shall be my exception. (though you could say that joke already brings some nuance to it - he is initially from a well-off family and he actively makes choices to the benefit of poor people, despite it resulting in him being ostracised from said family and its riches).

jack walks the line of being poor and managing not to do anything "too bad" like he is a fucking circus performer on a wire. and, don't get me wrong, he is genuinely a selfless character. he makes choices that a lot of other characters in the same circumstances wouldn't make. he remains in debt and continues working for the boss because he keeps trying to help people and pay off their debts first - that is admirable. however, he himself was already set up for more success than others. sure, being forced to become a debt collector isn't a walk in the park, but most other debtors didn't even have that choice. jack has to work for the boss in order to stay afloat - that is an undeniably hard task. the other people the boss collects debts from, however, have to come up with a lot of money out of thin air - that is not simply a hard task, that is an impossible one that is designed to trap them in the cycle of doing this impossible task forever. that being said, ultimately, jack is still poor. his own hamster wheel should be somewhere around the corner, that's always the case. this idea is where i wish they would have taken jack's arc.

from the moment when he refused to marry rose, there was no escape for him. finally, much like our other poor characters, he found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. (and i think that it's very thematically appropriate for jack's particular "i can't do this anymore, i deserve to live a full life" sentiment to be connected to love, since he is, after all, a lead of a romance drama). he made the decision to say "no" and from that point on, he was completely and utterly fucked. because, realistically, that conversation that he had with the boss after refusing rose was insane. i don't know what he would have done to jack exactly, if that was a genuine conversation and there was no exchange of jack's freedom for the ring, but it would not have been anything good.

so i wish jack had to make the actual tough call there, instead of having joke save him all on his own (and later take the fall for it). and if it was, at least in some capacity, jack's decision to steal that ring, he would finally be placed in a situation where every other poor character already inevitably found themselves in. because the entire system is rigged against all of them and they are eventually always forced to do things that they should have never even had to consider in the first place. but they deserve better than living a life set up for them by evil rich people who literally live off of their suffering and they are allowed - no, at some point they simply have no choice but to - fight for a better life.

this, in my opinion, would have been a much more powerful message and - not to circle back to my personal preferences - would have also not left us with joke making the very same mistake that we decided we should never make again at the end of the previous arc.

[zeldatourney]

Polls and Explanations

The tourney is over, and it's been a lot of fun! Especially for me, who got to see all the comments everyone left.

One recurring question I got (other than "Why would you pit two bad bitches against each other;" sir, this is the "pitting two bad bitches against each other" blog) was why I matched things up as they did. For example, putting Wind Waker up against Breath of the Wild in round one, when that seems like a final battle sort of deal.

There are two things that have always bothered me about poll tourneys.

Overwhelmingly, the results are dominated by "which is more recognizable" rather than "which is better." Just about everyone in the Zelda fandom has played Breath of the Wild, so it would outcompete almost everything based on sale numbers, which was boring and predictable.

The first few rounds never seemed to MEAN anything.

Number 1 was easy enough to fix: just add in options for "I haven't played these" and specify that you want answers from someone who's played both, and boom! You get informed opinions on which is better.

2, though, was more of a problem.

See, the way most brackets are engineered is to build up FOR that final battle. You want a clash of the titans as your finale! You want the biggest and baddest to have to claw their way to victory! You want your favorite game to have the highest kill count!

Which means your first round pits those titans against small competitors that never stood a chance, just to get them out of the way. With the exception of meme entries, nothing ever comes from that.

Of course Breath of the Wild would blow Cadence of Hyrule out of the water.

Of course the Oracles games wouldn't stand up to something like Skyward Sword.

None of these polls answer any questions. They're just obligatory so the match can get to that final battle without complaints.

Wanting to avoid that, the way I approached this bracket was a bit different. Instead of guessing at which would be the most popular and reverse-engineering that epic showdown, I wanted to match like with like.

So I made something to test the waters:

Without an explanation attached, this one made a lot of people mad! Why was I separating Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, which shared a map, but not Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, which were vastly different games?

I didn't have enough poll options to do every single game, so I had to mix. And the mix was strategic:

Most games on here that are paired together share fans. For example, the majority of Ocarina of Time players either like or are ambivalent towards Majora's Mask, while a VAST majority of Breath of the Wild players take issue with the story of Tears of the Kingdom. If I grouped BotW with TotK, I wouldn't be able to get a read on how many people loved TotK, because BotW would be so overwhelming.

I'd seen about equal fandom obsession with Twilight Princess and Skyward Sword, or with Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks, so I could take their result and divide it by half.

Anyone who didn't fit either of these criteria got grouped together as best as I knew how. Wind Waker and Minish Cap are both full of whimsy. Tri Force Heroes, Cadence of Hyrule, and Hyrule Warriors are all different gameplay loops than the standard Zelda, and are (at least honorary, in TFH's case) spin-offs.

This poll gave me good data. There was about an equal level of interest between Four Swords and Echoes of Wisdom. Minish Cap probably made up a very small percentage of Wind Waker votes, so it would have to fight its way up through smaller guys. Something BIG would have to go up against Breath of the Wild to have a fighting chance.

With all that in mind, I started hammering out what the polls would be. I wanted each one to

Be paired with something that had a similar level of interest

Answer a question or sate a curiosity

That way, hopefully, they'd be neck-and-neck, and I'd get some good opinions out of the people who voted one or the other.

So, with all that in mind: here's my thought process when making this tourney, step by step. You might have to click to be able to read it all.

So...what now? A loser's bracket? A re-do with different matchups?

Not exactly.

I'm going to make a separate post on that. Rest assured, though, this tournament is far from over.

This was just the first run.

[cringe--is--dead]

𝔽𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕄𝕖𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤

ℕ𝕖𝕜𝕠𝕞𝕒 𝕄𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕘𝕖𝕣 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

𝔸/ℕ: I started re-watching Haikyuu so the hyperfixation is coming back STRONG!

Direct sequel to this blurb!

You took everything you had said earlier back; nervous didn't even begin to cover how you were feeling. The closer to the camp sight the bus got, the shakier your hands got. You did your best to hide them, though the worried looks Yaku was sending your way says you weren't doing a great job at it.

"Hey," You could feel the bus begin to slow down as Kuroo turned around to look at you, the playfulness that had been present was gone, and you were grateful for the small smile he was sending your way, "You'll be fine. We're going to be the first team there more than likely, so you have time to get adjusted before everyone else shows up."

You nodded, moving to stand as Nekomata called for everyone to hop off the bus. The third years and you were the first ones off the bus after the coaches departed, grabbing your bags and waiting to make sure everyone else deboarded.

Lev groaned as he stretched, "That was way too long to be sitting."

Yaku rolled his eyes, gently nudging the first year to continue walking, "Only for a tall freak like you."

"Hey! That wasn't nice!"

Kai wandered over to you, offering to carry one of your mini bags for you, and you agreed, wanting to once more go over the notes he and Nekomata had curated for you to study. You may have begun to understand volleyball more, but after expressing your fear of embarrassing yourself in front of these other teams, they had made you more things to study.

"The other teams have managers too," You two began walking, Kuroo and Yaku ahead of you, already bickering about who knows what, "I'm sure you'll get along well with them. Karasuno has a newer manager too, so you two will probably be in similar boats."

You let out a breath, "Right."

"I'm serious," You glanced over at him, "It'll be fine. We were all nervous our first training camps, but you get used to them."

Nodding, you entered the building where your rooms would be. Each team had their own room, and due to the smaller numbers, the managers all had one room to them. You were too scared to ask earlier if you had to room with your team or by yourself; both sounding not ideal.

You entered the room, dropping your bags off in a little area, mentally claiming the small spot as your own. That wasn't too presumptuous was it? Maybe you should wait for the others to show up, offer them first dibs.

Sighing, you shook your head to yourself, there was no point in worrying about it now. If any of the other girls had issues you'd quickly move your stuff-- easy fix.

A knock at the door had you turning, Shibayama peering in curiously, "Hey, we're going to set up in gym one right now, and Kuroo wants to know if you'll lead some warm up drills?"

And the day starts.

"Are we starting practice matches when they show up?"

He shook his head, "He says Lev and Yamamoto have too much energy, so this is more to tire them out so they don't annoy him."

You snorted at that, sometimes Kuroo reminded you of an over exhausted pre-school teacher. Glancing at your bag, you followed Shibyama out and towards the gym, you'd change later.

You had gotten held up by a teacher before you departed, and in turn, weren't able to change out of your school uniform. It wasn't uncomfortable per say, but you'd trade out the skirt for a pair of Nekoma sweatpants before the practice matches started.

The chatter inside the gym wasn't loud, but you could hear it from right outside. Inuoka and Lev were helping set nets up, Kuroo was discussing something with Kai, and when they saw you, they motioned you over.

You left Shibayama who promptly went over to help with some other set ups, making your way to your captain and vice-captain. Kuroo raised an eyebrow at you.

"You're still in your school uniform?"

You shrugged, "I was going to change before the actual practice matches started. Didn't want to waste precious time tiring Lev out."

Kai chuckled, while Kuroo just sighed, and the mental image of him as a pre-school teacher was back. He handed you a clipboard, "It'll be a shorter night, but we figured these starting rotations would be good. Only a few teams will be here today, the rest arrive tomorrow. So we'll just be in this gym for tonight."

Two courts, four teams. Okay so there were three other schools showing up today, no worries. Fukurodani, Shinzen, and Karasuno today. It seemed in order, Kuroo was good with scheduling, and to be fair you didn't often have to correct his work. He was just paranoid from when he royally screwed up during exam week; the poor guy was running off of no sleep and way too much coffee.

You handed it back, "Those are two of the teams I'm supposed to be weary of, right?" The question was asked dryly, and Kuroo huffed at your tone.

"Don't appreciate the sarcasm, but yes. Thank you for asking." Kai just chuckled, patting him on the arm.

"Lev, I swear to the gods if you don't stop-"

"Yaku, come on! What's the point of a training camp if we're not training?"

"We're just warming up now, put the ball down!"

You sighed, understanding Kuroo's petulance from earlier. Damn rooster-headed captain laughed as you stalked over to where Yaku and Lev were bickering.

"Yaku's right, Lev, we're going to run some drills before we start with anything else."

Lev pouted at your words, and Yaku looked far too smug after bullying the first year. You raised an eyebrow at him, "If you both have enough energy to be bickering why not run some extra laps, hm? I was going to have everyone start with fifteen, but I think you two need a bit more than that. Does twenty five sound good?"

The two blanched at your words, the sickly sweet tone you had adopted since filling this position, you had been told, was terrifying. Yaku looked sheepish, rubbing the back of his head, but decided against arguing.

"Sorry," Lev muttered, and you nodded.

"Now put the ball back, Lev, and the two of you can get started. I'll have the others join you when you hit ten laps."

He nodded, the pout disappearing as he thought of something, "Oh! Watch this!"

Before you or Yaku could say anything, he launched the ball, clearly aiming to throw it directly into the basket. It made it, in a sense, before bouncing off all the other balls inside, and flying out the still open door. He stared after it, almost surprised by the outcome.

"Go start your laps." Was all you said, sending the two off.

You could hear Kuroo's stupid cackle from across the gym, and turned quickly, glaring his way as well. "You wish to join them, captain?"

He sobered up rather quickly, "No. I'm good, thanks."

You huffed, turning to gather the stray ball. Nekomata chuckled from where he and Naoi were talking. You all had barely been here and these troublemakers were already... well, making trouble.

The ball had bounced further down the sidewalk than you had thought, and you had to walk a good few meters away to get it. Though before you could lean down to grab it, the presence of someone startled you.

This kid appeared out of nowhere.

He was staring at you, almost as confused by your presence as you were of his.

"Um, hello?" The hold he had on his bag tightened as he awkwardly greeted you.

He was short, bright and unruly orange hair. He seemed nervous, reminding you of one of your younger cousins whenever he got caught doing something he shouldn't have been. Maybe he was wandering around and didn't think anyone would be here.

"Hey," You squatted to grab the ball, walking a bit closer to him, "Are you lost? I don't think you're supposed to be here, kid."

His cheeks burned bright at your comment, and he stammered over whatever he was trying to say.

"Hinata! What did I tell you about running off, man?"

You two turned, a guy about your age calling out to the red head, Hinata, also carrying a bag at his side. The two of you made eye contact, and the man froze where he was standing.

No one said a word, and you awkwardly moved the ball around in your hands, "Um, are you his older brother?"

Hinata sputtered at the question, "He's not my older brother!"

The other guy didn't say anything, simply staring at you silently. It was starting to make you feel a bit uncomfortable. "Uh-"

"Pretty girl!"

His shout caught you off guard, and you felt your shoulders raise, cheeks burning at the words shouted your direction. Mouth parted slightly, you took notice as other people began walking into view.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh shit.

You turned to Hinata, "Are you all here for the volleyball training camp?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "We're Karasuno high school!"

"Oh." Was all you managed to say, looking from him to the others who were walking up curiously.

One of them stepped forward, the way he walked reminded you of Kuroo some, and he smiled at you. Oh he was... he was handsome. Your cheeks burned even hotter at your own thoughts.

"Hello, I'm Daichi, Karasuno's captain. Who are you?"

"Oh, uh," You were stammering like Hinata had been when you called out to him, introducing yourself, "I'm Nekoma's manager."

He blinked, "Their manager? I didn't know they had gotten one. That's great!"

He smiled down at you, and you felt your heart flutter some. This was dangerous.

Wait, weren't you supposed to avoid this team? Because-

"What!" Someone else came into view, standing next to the buzz cut guy who called you pretty a few minutes ago, "Nekoma got a manager too?"

You stepped back, the attention scaring you, and you were beginning to feel like you had when you first became Nekoma's manager. "Uh, yes?"

"She's so pretty!"

"Stay strong, Noya," The buzz cut guy grabbed his friends shoulder, "We must remain strong!"

Those two. You were supposed to avoid those two.

You failed.

"Hey!" You had never been so happy to hear Yamamoto's yells before, "Back off our manager!"

You felt yourself breath a bit easier as your team came out of the gym, Lev and Yaku looking a bit more winded than the others. Kuroo hurried over to you, smiling at Daichi.

"Well well, I thought you all weren't going to be here until later."

Daichi sighed, "We thought so too. Kiyoko really saved us with motion sickness medicine for Hinata though, so we pulled through."

"I would have rather your managers meet ours before the rest of your crows," Kuroo muttered, standing close enough to you that you could feel his body heat, "Especially your rowdy second years."

"Yeah, sorry about them," His apology was directed towards you, and you waved it off.

"Oh, no, it's- it's okay!"

"Yachi and Kiyoko are putting their stuff away, if you want to go introduce yourself to them."

He really needed to stop smiling at you, it was not doing good things to your heart.

"And change into something that's less cute," Kuroo muttered to you, half playful, half serious.

You self consciously tugged at the end of your skirt, those sweat pants were really calling your name. You quickly bowed towards the rest of Karasuno, "It's nice to meet you all! I'll be back!"

With as much dignity as you could muster you sped walked back towards the rooms, cheeks warm and heart fluttering. You thought you were going to have more time to calm down before meeting more strangers? Oh you were so making Kuroo do some type of drill he hated as punishment.

Outside of the manager's room, you took a moment to compose yourself. You patted your cheeks, hoping the flush would die down soon, before softly knocking on the door to announce your presence, before sliding the door open.

"Um, hello," You stepped inside, the two figures turning to look at you.

One of them was a bit shorter than you, she seemed like a first year. She had cute little star hair clips in her hair, and she seemed almost more nervous than you were. The other one was down right beautiful, and you were regretting agreeing to come to this training camp.

You introduced yourself, "I'm Nekoma's new manager. Daichi said you two were Kiyoko and Yachi?"

The taller of the two, Kiyoko, smiled softly at you, "Yes. I'm Kiyoko, this is Yachi. It's lovely to meet you."

"Yeah!" Yachi echoed, voice a bit louder than necessary, all nervous smiles, "I didn't know Nekoma got a manager!"

"I really only started a few weeks ago, Kuroo had to beg me to come to the training camp. He also said you all would be a bit later coming, so I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you two."

"No, it's alright," Kiyoko waved off your apology, "It was good luck and proper planning that got us here now, something I fear we often lack when traveling."

Yachi nodded, "Yeah! I'm going to start packing a mini first aid kit, and I'll keep motion sickness medicine in it for any time we travel in the future."

That didn't seem like a bad idea. Granted, none of your teammates got sick traveling, but it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities.

"Oh, if you don't mind I need to change," You motioned towards your uniform, "Then I can meet you all back at the gym."

"We can wait for you if you'd like," Yachi offered, voice tentative, "Only if you want though!"

"Oh," You blinked, before smiling, "That would be nice, yeah!"

These two were so sweet, you were starting to look forward to this training camp. Yaku and Kai were right, they were all nice, and even the quick talk with the other team, they all seemed sweet.

This would be fun, you were sure of it now.

[graillore2point0]

Sadly, I'm too afraid of getting abandoned by everyone I've ever known over this, but I suppose that's what the hornyblog's been for from the beginning.

I wholeheartedly agree, to start things off. Gushing is a series that truly, well, gushes with love for Magical Girls as a genre and a concept and wants to explore it. To deepen what a Magical Girl is without actually subverting it beyond the obvious of Utena as a protagonist.

I am someone who can and will wax poetically about the themes and characters of Madoka Magica and while I'm generally too afraid of consequences to give Gushing the honour it deserves I very much want to do the same.

Now, a lot of the backlash against Gushing is over the ages of the characters, with everyone so far appearing in the anime being 14 other than Lord Enorme at 20 and Korisu-chan at 9. (The Shio-chans don't really change this, though they're 17.) People are getting up in arms over this.

Now, beyond presenting them with the obvious issue of writing a story about 'coming of age' and self exploration as a teenager (When most people start getting interested in such things) without having the main characters, you know, early teenagers, as it would not at all work as well with them above 18 due to various factors...

There's also the fact that Gushing is far from the only series presenting young girls in such a way? It's just actually open about it, and does it in a far kinder way than typical as well.

Gratuitous butt and boob shots, random slips and upskirts, hells even Magical Girl transformation sequences typically depict characters cloaked only in an unnatural light. It's a staple of comedy, slice of life, school and more action oriented genres (Look at BnHA, the average Isekai, the entirety of the Gacha Game scene, even many well recieved Magical Girl series).

(Also where are they finding these 18+ not secretly ancient anime girls? Grab ten of them and six will be 14-17, three 100-10000, and if you're lucky the last is 22 at the very oldest.)

Anyways, back towards topic, it comes down to this perception that to make or watch something that at all depicts younger characters in a more overtly sexual light is some unforgivable sin. That anyone who does is a pedophile biding their time (Which is a whole other matter they probably need to introspect on) who'll act at any moment to bring their depraved tastes into the real world. I could talk more about that in particular but not now.

The thing is it's not. It's not something morally wrong to watch or write something like Gushing or Prisma Illya. These are, in our world, fictional characters. They do not have an age, they do not have an observable will, they are not real on our dimensional plane, to watch or draw or write about them does not harm them in any way.

It's this... Christian puritanical obsession with everything needing to be Clean, to be Acceptable and Uncontroversial. It demands that nothing is explored, that nothing is considered, that nothing is made without first being judged Pure by the twelve most Racist, Homophobic and Misoginistic people on the planet.

I feel like I have more to say but I'm running out of steam so I suppose I'll call this here for now.

So, Gushing Over Magical Girls Is The Best Thing To Happen to Magical Girls

Gushing Over Magical Girls get this bad rep. For all the wrong reasons. I’ve seen it be called an insult to Magical Girls, I’ve seen it be called “gooner bait” a term I absolutely despise but that’s a thing for another day. I’ve seen it insulted for everything and anything under the sun.

I first got acquainted with it when I was scrolling through Twitter and I saw someone complain about the PV. However, as an avid Magical Girl Fan, I wasn’t disgusted. I was intrigued.

I decided to read the manga, and oh god.

This is one of the best things I’ve read.

The story follows Utena, a shy girl that loves Magical Girls, tricked to become the evil general that will defeat the Magical Girl team “Tres Magia”.

And it’s a delight.

I binged all the episodes available to me in the manga, and had fun in each and every chapter.

The same, however, couldn’t be said by half the people who watched the anime. And I was extremely baffled. As a queer woman, this was the first time in my life, in which I had seen something so deliberately catered towards me. I saw tell-tale signs of someone who genuinely admires the genre, and is simply using it as an outlet for exploring deeper and more interesting topics that a SFW version of it would not be able to.

Yet, I turn around and I see people calling it the most horrendous stuff, and accusing everyone who likes it of being monsters or men.

Genuinely, I’ve had enough.

Gushing Over Magical Girl is not the Devil. In fact, I think it’s the best thing to come don’t even like Magical Girls AND IT SHOWS.

PART 1: “Magical girls are for little girls!”.

The first criticism you’ll see aimed at “Gushing over Magical girl” is the amount of sexually charged content it has. And it is true. It borders on straight up porn in many instances and it just gets wilder as you go on. By chapter 30, we’re way past PantyShots. Like, I’ve seen some of these girls’ vaginas, and I’m not joking.

Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it, but there’s people who might disagree.

“Magical Girls are for little girls” some people say “and you’re corrupting it!”

Which genuinely makes me laugh.

This is because this type of argument could only be done by someone with no real concept of Magical Girls aside from maybe Sailor Moon and Sakura Card Captor.

out of the Magical Girl genre in a WHILE (Ignoring Precure, because they just gave us a magical boy and that’s my win of the decade).

People are just, you know, stupid. And reactionary. Enough that they see a boob and lose their minds like a Karen at a Christmas Eve Mall.

My point is, I love this manga. And I’m willing to risk my reputation to defend it. Cause genuinely, half the people who are clutching their pearls over this show - Magical Girl Anime haven’t always been PG, or aimed at girls.

Cutie Honey is a great example. It’s one of the most famous Magical Girl Anime you will find - and it’s a shonen. With the protagonist, Honey, being constantly naked, groped, put in suggestive situations and have outfits that show her cleavage.

And it’s one of the most famous, most popular takes on Magical Girl there is. Yet, I never see any amount of outrage towards it. (Part of me wonders if it’s because the fan service is aimed at men, rather than involving yuri).

There’s also Lyrical Nanoha, one of the most popular serial franchises there is. It spans several seasons and spinoffs, and it’s beloved by many.

And it’s aimed at older men. Yes, it’s a Seinen.

In fact, its origins are far from PG. It’s actually a Spin-off of an erotic game named “Triangle Heart”. It was most definitely not created with little girls in mind, and themes it tackles reflect as much.

There’s Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya too, a spinoff of the Fate/Stay Night VN, very obviously aimed at older men, it’s a Seinen. It has a lot of fanservice and scenes where the characters are half naked.

Day Break Illusion is also a Shonen.

And as much as I adora Madoka - I’ve been stating for years now that it isn’t a show meant for little girls. You could argue it’s for everyone, regardless of gender, who’s a little older. But it most definitely wasn’t for little girls.

So, no. This was never an “only girls” club. Trying to paint it as such, is not only wrong but ignorant.

Magical Girl shows can be for anyone. Men, boys, girls, women and I find it infantilizing to consider it “only for little girls”.

No one says “super heroes are ONLY for little boys”

Well, some do. But they’re, you know, bigots. Who don’t want girls playing or adults o have fun.

So no, Gushing Over Magical Girls being a sexually charged anime in the Seinen category isn’t “corrupting the genre”. In fact, I would argue it’s doing exactly what the genre has done in the OVA shadows for a while.

Not to mention, many people have screamed from the rooftop how they want “more mature Magical Girl shows” referring to the success of Madoka. But as soon as an actually mature take on Magical Girls shows up, tackling issues of sexuality and love, you all don’t want it anymore.

(We all know why, though. Americans, and western culture in general, considers mature themes, only that which involves violence. Anything close to discussing issues of sex is no longer “mature” but “Pornographic” and deserving of being shoved into a corner. With all queer themes, gender studies, and any nuance that could be had regarding these issues).

And speaking of sexually charged, have you watched so called “wholesome” magical girls? They’re still very much sexy. Not in the “on the nose” ecchi way Seinen and Shonen are - but they still are.

You’ll find transformations were the girls are naked, zoom in to their breasts, you’ll have panty shots every now and then. Even themes of growing up, having crushes, and innuendos about sex. Inappropriate relationships, taboo romance, and the likes.

Sakura had Rita and a professor’s relationship (mutual in the manga), Sailor Moon had Chibiusa and Elliot’s romance, Sugar Sugar Rune even having an element for ‘lust’ and other different types of love, and let’s not forget Mermaid Melody which has several instances of the girls naked, in compromising positions with other men. And I’m pretty sure Tokyo Mew Mew likely opened a whole bunch of doors for girls to be into CNC.

This is, by the way, normal.

Completely so.

These stories often talk about the girlhood experience. And girls and teenage girls are interested in all of these things. They’re interested in sex, romance, their bodies growing up, their own sexuality and the likes. It’s no wonder same-sex relationships and romance get included, they’re part of what experiencing the world through the eyes of a young girl is like.

And subsequently, it stands to reason that as people who engaged with MG grow up - they find comfort in exploring their sexuality through Magical Girl themselves. There’s a reason why there’s a growing section of “Magical Girl” in your local hentai site.

“Men get off on corrupting this wholesome girl targeted genre” is actually TERF rhetoric sneaking through the mainstream. It ignores AFAB ppl and gender nonconforming people, who grew up with Magical Girls, simply using a medium that originally started their journey of sexual identity, to explore more “grown up” aspects of that same identity.

In particular, I’m a Cis AroAce Woman. I wrote a lot of Magical Girl NSFW when I first started writing NSFW Twitter threads. They’re bad and they’re cringey. But it was something I needed.

Magical Girls were a huge part of my childhood and early teens. When I was mentally in the space to want to engage with NSFW content: it was obvious I would turn to what first sparked excitement.

So this idea that “men are corrupting Magical Girls with their sick fantasies” is nothing more than TERF-lite propaganda. People, including women and men, have been doing this for ages; for a variety of reasons. And doing so, doesn’t rob children of their spaces - but the gentrification of the internet is a story of another day.

The other argument I have heard is that GOMG is a mockery of the genre. Which is even more laughable in my opinion.

PART 2: Parodies and why I hate Earth Defender’s Club.

Gushing Over Magical Girls loves Magical Girls. It’s a parody, in a way, but it knows very well what it parodies. It’s not surface level in the slightest. And it absolutely is not mean spirited about it.

A lot of the time, shows that reference and parody the Magical Girl genre, do so in ways that feel like they view it as a lesser genre. They take generic images of cute girls in frilly outfits, swap the colors around, and have them chant over-the-top spells. You’re meant to laugh, not only at how silly they look, but people who would love it. Especially if they’re grown ups.

I do not like “Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!” For this exact reason - even tho many people praise it to all heavens.

Because

1) It feels surface level in its commentary and depiction of Magical Girls and

2) More mocking towards the genre than paying homage or doing anything with it.

The continuous use of the word “Love” is a very obvious jab at Magical Girls using these words, which feels mean spirited just for the sake of it. Their outfits are almost exactly the same, save for the colors. And they all use the same sticks as weapon, with no thematic link for the shapes of the scepters. The mascot too (a wombat for god knows what reason), I think it’s meant to be a joke of some sort for how ridiculous some of the mascots for the girls get, which rubs me the wrong way.

In general, it feels shallow and mean spirited. But no one calls this an insult to Magical Girls. Because people who like it don't actually care about Magical Girls. They see cute boys doing silly things and love it. Which is kinda sad.

Now, Gushing Over Magical girls has sort of that same problem on the Tres Magias…But they’re not the protagonists. And even then, in later chapters, they get power ups that are different in design, and thematically linked.

The protagonist, and the ones we follow, are Utena and the girls. And they all have very distinct outfits, all with motifs that are tangentially thematically linked, and speak of each character’s personalities in interesting ways.

Utena in particular has THIS outfit. Which a lot of people don’t like, but I actually do.

It’s very obvious it’s taking inspo from other iconic Bad Girls in the genre. Namely, Utau, Kraehe and Devil Homura. All “Enemy characters” that have unhealthy obsessions with other characters. In particular, I think the wings and the feathers resemble Homura - THE character known to have a massive obsession with a Magical Girl (Madoka), to the point of insanity.

There’s also Magia Azure. Who’s a clear reference to the Mean Tsundere girl that is iconic to the genre. She’s also a Miko. Which is a callback to Sailor Mars, arguably THE girl who popularized this archetype.

I also love what they do with the mascots. Unlike Earth Defenders, where the mascot is you know, a mockery of the archetype of a mascot - useless, only there to give power ups, and obsessed with food - the mascots of GOMG is taking a book from Madoka.

It considers the mascots both all-too-powerful and yet limited in their reach. Which is exactly what the mascots have always been in Magical Girls. Beings so powerful they can give mythical powers to girls, yet helpless to do anything on their own. So, they use magical girls as a vehicle to achieve their goals. Most Magical girls try to paint this as a good thing, but newer genres shine light on how dangerous that can be too.

Madoka tackles it with Kyubey as the main initial mascot, only later to turn out to be the villain of the series.

And in a Post-Madoka world, trusting the mascots is just the slightest bit more difficult. That’s why, from the get go, GOMG portrays their mascots as morally corrupt. He’s not a good character, he’s malicious and doing more harm than good. But for the majority of the series, he’s painted more as a useless harmless evil than anything genuinely terrifying or worthy of concern. The attention is focused on other things.

But I love the way that it’s heavily implied that they’re not good. It’s a very interesting take on the mascot and it helps with the themes of the series. Which yes, by the way. Gushing Over Magical Girls has themes.

Which lead me to-

Part 3: Yeah, uhm, Gushing Over Magical Girl has themes.

There’s this idea that Sex is an inherently violent act. In which a man humiliates and sodomizes a woman, and therefore the woman is exploited in some way. And 10x worse is any act that involves BDSM. It’s violence; born out of hatred.

This is TERF rhetoric. I’m not joking. This line of thought leads directly to TERF ideas.

Many on the internet have pointed out as much, and BDSM members have gone to be very vocal about it. In particular, people on the role of the submissive (or the bottoms) are loudly trying to explain the contrary. How they like the act of sex, like the idea of being vulnerable, or being humiliated. There’s also plenty of LGBT+ stories that talk about it, both in western and eastern spaces. Just jump into the section of dom/sub verse at your local manga browsing website, and you’ll find something.

That said, the same is not as common for people who like to “dominate”.

I can only think of two pieces of media that argue that, whoever is the dominant or the sadist, is also a human being. That whatever they’re doing is done, not out of hatred for the submissive or an act of violence, but love.

One, is the husky and the white cat. In which Mo Ran, among other things, has to come to terms that his love isn’t “pure”. That he cannot love someone without the want to have sex, and to completely dominate that someone.

The second one is Gushing Over Magical Girls.

It’s very clear to me that Utena’s sadism isn’t a violent act. It’s an act born out of love. She genuinely loves the Magical Girls, and most girls for that matter, and whenever she is inflicting pain and fighting with them - what she wants is to ultimately help them in some way.

She wants them to “be the cutest version they can be” and wants them to shine brighter than ever.

There’s this one scene I love, around chapter 20, in which Baiser (Utena) is fighting Magia Azura. And due to Baiser going a bit too far, Azura ends up being Mind-broken. She crawls towards her, calls her “mistress” and begs to become her servant.

In any normal Hentai you’ll find, this is a good thing. This would be the ideal outcome. A character being turned into nothing but a sex slave for the enjoyment of the dominant.

Which is why I found it breathtaking when that didn’t happen.

Baiser is horrified by this. She does not want to break the girls, she wants them to be powerful. She wants them to win. With her, the evil one, being nothing more than a vehicle for them to be even stronger than before.

This is the first time I’ve ever seen dominant or sadist characters being presented both sexually, and in such a positive light. Much less a queer woman in the same position.

It doesn’t treat BDSM sex as a disgusting taboo act, but something born out of genuine love - and a want to see the other person be or feel better.

This is reinforced around chapter 25 where Leberblume and Loco Mùsica are fighting Baiser. For context, Loco Musica wanted to be an Idol, but had terrible singing. She uses her evil power to basically force everyone to listen to her sing (which is so reminiscent of Mermaid Melody btw). When they fight, Baiser wins, and is then set to use her new found power to “punish” Loco Musica.

Originally, Loco Musica points out how Baiser’s sadistic tendencies are “the same” as Lord Enorme, who we’ve seen uses sadism as a genuine form of punishment. Something to avoid. You behave well, because you don’t want to get hurt or humiliated by her.

However, when Baiser uses her own unique type of sadism on Loco Musica, something happens. Instead of causing her physical pain by beating her or using violence, she forces her to get naked and perform her idol song like that. This causes her to get extremely embarrassed. And in the process, she actually starts to sing really well.

This is important for two reasons

1) Baiser is actually taking into account who Musica is. It’s later revealed that Musica wanted a more frilly idol-like outfit but Lord Enorme shut it down, for the sake of a more ‘unified’ aesthetic. Baiser is not just throwing around the same treatment and punishment for all girls - what one might like, the other might hate.

2) At the end of the day, while she did the punishment, it was both embarrassing, but ultimately something that helped Musica and made her feel better.

And that’s really the key here, and why I love the series.

Sadism, sex and kinks in general are not tools of degeneracy. They’re treated as part of our experience.

Also, it’s just fun?

Part 4: Gushing Over Magical Girls is just extremely fun when you don’t have a dumb bitch yapping abt how unholy it is to see tiddies on a screen

Yeah, GOMG just has one of the most creative depictions of the most insane of kinks you’ll see - I could spent hour gushing over Nero Alice.

Seeing all these different kinks being depicted as powers and abilities that these characters have - and seeing how they interact with other people is just interesting.

The sex scenes are both hilarious and kinda sexy. Specially if you do like to see women all hot and bothered. Personally I’m not into girls (or anyone for that matter) but I have to admit the scenes were pretty hot. And there is no shame in admitting as much. No matter what the puritanical Christian on Twitter crying abt “god honoring lesbian sex” Will tell you.

I cannot begin to explain just how hype and relatable it was to see Magia Baiser defeat Lord Enorme with the power of straight up delusion, we STAN.

So, yeah.

It’s been a while since I last saw a Magical Girl Show so unashamed of being a Magical Girl Show. Unashamed of being weird, of praising the genre and just enjoying it.

My essay is titled, in part, as a joking reference to my much more popular series “MLB is the worst thing to happen to the magical girl series”. Which I still think is true.

And while, yeah, maybe GOMG isn’t the best thing to come out of the genre…I still think it’s good that it came out.

A lot of people say they want a more “mature” take on Magical Girls but - this proved to me that just isn’t the case.

Gushing over magical girls proves that the Magical Girl Genre Can Be so much more than what people think. More than glitter and sparkles, more than vapid action scenes, or what little girls want.

Much like any other genre, it can be raunchy, it can be messy, it can explore things outside of the status quo. But it can still deeply respect the source material, and the origins of it.

GOMG proves Magical Girls can be fun. Just. Straight up fun. Regardless of your age. They can serve and connect you to parts of yourself you didn’t realize you could connect to.

I hope it proves to more people that the genre can be so much more than “just for little girls” that parodies can be more than pointing and laughing, and that it can have themes beyond just, “friendship”.

Magical Girls can be so much more. You just, have to have an open mind about it.

[teabeexo]

𝚃𝚎𝚊'𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 𝚃𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚢

✿ ↳ ❝ You need to go,

to where the dark remembers you

Open up your heart

Like the gates of Hell

You stay soft, you get beaten

Only natural to harden up... ❞

✧˚ · . - "Stay Soft" Mitski

𝚃𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚊 𝙻𝚢𝚗𝚗 𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚘𝚛

✿ The Basics ✿

Age(s): Step 1 - 10, Step 2 - 14, Step 3 - 18, Step 4 - 22

Birthday: April 3rd

Gender: Demigirl (she/they)

Ethnicity: Hawaiian and Swedish

Height: 5'4" (as of step 4)

Significant Other: Qiu Lin

Role: Main character in my OL:NF universe.

✿ Lore (past) ✿

Tabitha Windsor was born in Orono, Maine on April 3rd. Her mother, Opal Windsor, had Tabitha through artificial semination. Growing up, her household only consisted of her and her mother. Though considered unorthodox by many of the locals in her town, Tabitha was perfectly happy with the serenity and closeness that was garnered as a result of her upbringing.

The Windsors were not particularly wealthy during Tabitha’s childhood. Though most of her early memories originate from Orono, the Windsors moved around quite frequently in order to keep up with her mother’s job. Despite the fact that Opal would do her best to relieve Tabitha of any sort of stress or worry in relation to their finances, Tabby would internalize a lot of the anxiety that she perceived Opal was feeling. In response, she developed a complex where she often viewed herself as being her family's caretaker and protector.

Their norm changed when Tabitha, who preferred the nickname Tabby at this point, and her mother moved across-state to Golden Grove, Oregon. This bode well for the Windsors, seeing as they’d moved for a huge promotion in Opal’s work. Practically, the move was fantastic for them. They’d never been so comfortable! Internally, though, Tabby was struggling.

Tabby was in full self-preservation mode and would shut down around anyone except her mom. Trust is the fundamental aspect that Tabby needs to even have the bare bones of a relationship. Naturally, she didn't have that with anybody when she first moved. Everyone was a stranger. Thus, nobody warranted her trust or friendliness.

This pattern was disrupted when she met a certain kid, who just happened to double as her neighbor. Qiu Lin. It was odd. He was odd to her -- in the best way. Regardless of how cold or snappish she was, his attitude towards her remained the same. And, somehow, she seemed to intrinsically trust him because of his overtly accommodating nature. Here, a fixation with him starts.

Her first interactions with her other neighbor, Tamarack, start off rather iffy. Tabby immediately closes Tamarack off because she sees Tam as unpredictable and erratic (exactly what Tabby loathes). Tabby could tolerate her, but never tried to approach the bubbly ginger as a friend. Over time, though, they slowly develop a positive relationship. As aforementioned, it's all about building trust for her.

Unfortunately, all the positive rapport made seems to regress as she approaches adolescence. Her crush on Qiu develops into a more severe fixation. In a sense, they become like the crux of her life. She bases her worth around their approval of her -- and actively changes herself to fit the mold that she assumes they would like. It's very self-destructive for her esteem. She's not very liked among her peers in highschool because she is seen as unapproachable and harsh. That’s mostly due to her chronic resting-bitch-face. She's actually extremely patient and compassionate when approached, but most don't bother breaching that barrier.

Her mom eventually intervenes whenever she realizes that Tabby's feelings towards Qiu need to be addressed and worked through. And, eventually, it does get better! It just takes her a while. By the time she’s nearly fifteen, she actually has a heart-to-heart with Qiu about it. They both agree they have feelings for each other, but make the active choice not to date because they both have issues they want to sort out first.

Tamarack and Tabby's relationship, in turn, deteriorates because their older personalities begin to grate against each other. Tamarack's serene and bashful nature strongly contrasts Tabby's. Tamarack's personality entirely changing undoes a lot of the trust they'd established, since Tabby views Tamarack as an entirely different person.

By the time Tabby turns eighteen, she starts publicly using she/they (with no preference). Her and Qiu also start dating slightly after they both turn eighteen. Tabby starts volunteering a local animal shelter which is really good for her mental health!

Her and Opal are still extremely close, but they've mellowed out quite a bit and take a step back from her protective tendencies.

Them and Tamarack are able to establish strong communication once again, and can eventually overcome to the awkwardness that tainted their relationship. Really, it just required effort on both of their parts. They’re able to be good friends, but never become best friends, as Tamarack would have liked when they were children.

Everything is likely to change as more OL:NF content becomes available. But for now, this is the overview of Tabby!

✿ Lore (present/ongoing) ✿

N/A until Step Four comes out/we get more info!

✿ Relationships ✿

Parents: Opal Windsor and unnamed sperm donor

Siblings: N/A.

Aunts: Currently N/A.

Cousins: Currently N/A.

S/O: Qiu Lin

Notable Friends: Tamarack Baumann, Diana (my OC), Renee Murray, Jade Foljn, Mina Linwood (my OC)

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

𝙰𝚛𝚝 𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

Tabby’s S1 and S3 designs. (Art done by me)

(Art below by @humanlypotsand)

✿ Epilogue (Artist/Author's notes) ✿

Hello everyone! Thanks for bearing with me while I finally decided what/who my Qiu!MC was going to be! It was definitely a wild ride, and in total I cycled through two whole characters before deciding on Tabby.

Tabby herself has turned out to be a character that I really enjoy writing and drawing. I like the themes that I chose to explore in her lore, and I find myself relating to them in a lot of small ways.

I didn’t overtly talk about it above, but Tabby’s whole motif is cats/felines — hence the nickname Tabby! In S2 she even hides a litter of kittens in Qiu’s fort. And, of course, she later dedicates their life to the care of animals.

Thanks for reading this far!

Also thank you to @lov3-from-loserlane and @humanlypotsand for letting me yap about them!!

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜

Spotify playlist: coming soon! (wip)

Moodboard: coming soon! (as soon as I figure out how to make one)

Pinterest Board: coming soon! (wip)

[mordacitatis]

thought on the topic of ai, particularly word generators. if, for example, someone used chatgpt to write the rest of grrm's book(s), and then someone sent the generated ideas to him a la fanfic (which we all should know NOT to do), would that cause him to be unable to use any of the stuff in the story? like. if he (accidentally) read it i guess.

saw the authors suing chatgpt post and was hmmmm. hurrrm.

[khufiya-khaufnak-antariksh]

So earlier today I introduced some of my WIPs to some new people, and I realised that many people might not be familiar with those two WIPs.

Kriya Petri: fantasy (with body horror & dystopian elements). Setting: A country called Fillor on a planet called Thuluke. In Fillor, to bind yourself to the one you love, you require a trinamate potion to seal the bond. 'Trinamate' is marriage (though that is a rather crude translation of the word). But to get a trinamate potion legally, the couple needs to be… acceptable. A man and a woman who plan to have at least one child. Yes, it's been 1000 years since the global apocalypse, but 'sufficient reproduction' is still a concern among the Filore people (plus it's a moral virtue for the Divine Monarchy, who reside on the cloudlands, with an iron grip on the institutes of Fillor). A potioneer wants to elope with their lover, but the pair is, let's just say, not acceptable. So what are they to do? The potioneer brews a trinamate potion on their own, finding the closely guarded methods & ingredients for the potion through who-knows-who, bunch of shady people. The potion explodes. The potioneer knows the punishment for something like this. They'll be condemned to Kaewoe (so will their lover, if anyone finds out), a realm so deep below the ground that it's close to the core of the planet. Kaewoe, where the mind & body are destroyed by the horribly high concentration of magic. Kaewoe, the names & lives & loves of all who enter it, all slowly turned to unknowledge. Good thing stealing identities is absurdly easy in Fillor! The potioneer wipes all memory of their crimes & love (or else the Thought magicians would know), flees to the city of Naebo. Their name is now Kriya Petri,

.

Welcome To The Real World: scifi, fantasy, surrealism, horror, tragedy

This one's in very early stages Inspired by Frankenstein Setting: The Great South Asian Rip in Reality, where physics (time & space both) is just completely twisted. The year is sometime in the 2070s. Sometimes it's the 2040s outside the Rip. Depends when/where you step out. Moh-maya, reality's very fabric & everything that keeps up the illusions that comprise reality, are very malleable in here. Main character: Kabir aka Moksh. A closeted Indian trans man who lives a double life, perhaps even a triple life. One in which he's a cis woman & a regular bright STEM student (STEM studies also include study of moh-maya). Another in which he's just some guy with good friends (the most authentic of his lives), where he goes by the name Kabir & uses moh-maya to present as his true self. If only temporarily. (it's painful, mentally & physically, whenever he has to revert to the female form). The third is some mad scientist bullshit, he's going by the name of Moksh among his fellow mad scientists & his main project is a moh-maya Frankenstein's monster that others can share their consciousness with, such that they can experience shape-shifting more easily & go where they physically aren't, do things they physically can't. Let's simply call it the 'entity'. Due to many reasons, creating this entity is pretty illegal. Hence the new name & collaboration with fellow shady people. the plot, put shortly: he starts doing vigilante justice w/the entity & then goes far & gets more & more consumed w/work & things go verrrrrrryyyyyy wrong despite starting with (dubious but) good intentions.

in this second one i neglected to mention the fact that you, as the reader, get front row tickets to the main character's spiral into madness & justifying murders thru the entity + the entity is a whole person & has opinions + a whole lot of other stuff, I DID mention that this WIP is in very early stages but holy fuck i could go on & on about it (just not in a way that can be packaged in a structured & sensible introduction)

[coridallasmultipass]

Halloween costume hint:

(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)

[kyuala]

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

[thethingything]

we have an especially bad migraine where I noticed us getting aura (mostly being pissed off and upset in a specific way) for several hours before it started and we've taken pain meds but I'm not sure they've actually helped. they have definitely given us side effects though and I feel very spaced out and nauseous and generally shit.

we've also had way worse ADHD symptoms for the last few days to the point of being pretty much unable to focus on anything besides like 2 things we've hyperfixated on. we've had so much trouble starting tasks and keep struggling to hold a train of thought or focus long enough to even figure out what we need to do each day despite having all our Habitica dailies to tell us.

our brain is all over the place and I'm not really sure what to do with it or what would help but it's just occurred to me that sometimes our ADHD gets really bad in the buildup to some of our worst migraines and now I'm just hoping that both the migraine and other shit ease off soon because I'd like to be able to function

[thistlekiss]

Me: starting to make lunch in the kitchen

Mother: comes in after me and makes it VERY clear that *i* am in the way

Also mother: gets pissed off when i say i'll make my food later

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.

My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.

If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.

I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.

But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.

I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.

But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.

So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.

My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.

But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.

I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.

I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.

[werewolfbneimitzvah]

vent post. There are two stories i was told in my teenage years that even before i had a real concept of trans issues made me uninterested in discussing the supposed sacredness and safety of separated sex-based spaces.

First, when i was like 13 or 14 my PE teacher told us about a time she went to a women's public restroom, some guy was hanging out outside the bathrooms, she didn't think anything of it, went to the bathroom, and he walked in after her and like, creeped on her over the top of the stall. She was ok, she wasn't telling us this to scare us, just telling us what to do in situations like that (and iirc she was telling the whole co-ed class this, not just girls, bc it's useful for everyone), but this taught me immediately and forever that there's nothing actually keeping these spaces separate really, that anyone can be a creep in any space, and that establishing a space like that as for women only isn't actually particularly useful for safety.

Second, when i was 16 i was at an anime convention, a friendly acquaintance of mine and i ended up in conversation outside, and he showed me his bare wrist and told me he'd been kicked out. A female friend of his had stepped in dog poop outside, and between that and the stress of the convention she'd had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so being her friend, he started comforting her and ushered her into the women's restroom so they could wash the poop off her shoe together. And because he was a man who went into the women's bathroom, he got kicked out, no matter that he was doing something that was actually beneficial to a woman. Punishing a woman's friend for supporting her was supposed to... protect her somehow? This made it clear to me that a no-exceptions rule separating the sexes like that wasn't actually inherently good for everyone.

And this isn't even getting into me as a child needing to accompany my younger sister to the restroom when we were out with just my dad because she had certain support needs past the age he felt comfortable bringing her into the men's room with him. And what if I'd been born a boy, or she'd been the first born? Who's helping her then?

And of course even putting all this aside, we should always prioritize compassion and support anyway. But i never even needed to meet a trans person to know that "keeping men out of women's bathrooms" is silly nonsense. But trans people also need to pee anyway and as humans they have that right, so leave them the fuck alone. your precious women's restroom is just a fucking room with a door, holy shit give it a fucking rest, if someone is attacking you in the bathroom that's bad and if someone is in there to pee that's good and it doesn't fucking matter what their junk is or was when they were born.

a woman could have done the exact same thing to my PE teacher and it would have also been bad no matter how "supposed" to be in the restroom she was, and no one should ever be punished for helping a crying friend wash their shoe.

Anyway i know I'm speaking to like-minded folks here, i just think about those two stories literally every time bathroom gender shit comes up and it pisses me off.

[teaboot]

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’ve been fired exactly once in my life. In my early twenties I was working at a pizza place. The pizzas were artisanal, thin crust and personal. They’re a huge chain now but when I first started the company was in its infancy. It was the wild west of management, and the core investors would frequently stop by to check on things. One of these people was this round little man with rage issues. A knock off Danny Devito with no charisma at all.

His favorite thing to do was to come in on a Friday or Saturday night. We'd be at our stations: taking orders, making pizza, manning the oven, finishing orders off, running the cash register. He'd shove his way onto the line and start rearranging people. "You, get off orders and work the cash register, you come over and make the pizzas!" With a line of customers snaking out the door he'd throw off all our grooves and rattle us.

Then, inevitably, a mistake would happen.

When it did he'd call the person over and say, "Hey c'mere. You're fired." Just like that. No inflection, just a flat "You're fired." It was absolutely a power kink, and because of his involvement the average turn over was three months. You were a veteran at five months.

One night there was only three of us manning the front. I took an order than went to the cash register to ring them out before I made the pizza. This horrible man watched that then called me into the back. I didn't know if I was about to be fired. But I wasn't. In fact, he had one other move besides firing people. He yelled.

In the back he absolutely lost his mind screaming at me for being on the cash register. I'm talking veins popping, spit flying, red with rage, this man just started bellowing nonsensically about where I should be and how I was just such a failure. It was truly like his brain had shut off, nothing he was saying even made sense. I stood there in the face of this tirade for a minute and then set a record for being the first person to ever cut him short by bursting into tears.

He instantly stopped yelling and it was like Jekyll and Hyde. He was remorseful and consoling, deeply embarrassed by my display of emotion. All my male coworkers just took the abuse but faced with my weeping he about faced and instantly backed off. I went outside to cry and when I came back in he pretended it had never happened.

That was the state of things. The investors knew they desperately needed to keep this man out of the stores, but they couldn't just give him the boot. They needed to move him aside and fill his position with someone. The store manager was this lovely woman who had hired me on the spot at my interview. The entire staff adored her. She was the best fit to get this roided out investor out of the stores for good.

Her replacement was this man called Anthony. He was instantly loathed by the entire staff. Condescending, critical, and lazy he started off his reign by letting go a core lead who "back talked." He spent a whole morning berating the opening crew because the closing crew (who had sold 100 more pizzas than we were even supposed to have on hand) had forgotten to windex the doors. He left the entire crew to close without him while he flirted with a girl who wasn't his pregnant girlfriend. He hired his roommate to replace the lead he fired and even that guy hated his guts.

Our antipathy toward him made him paranoid and resentful and one by one he started finding excuses to fire the whole staff, certain that if he could clean house he'd be able to do the job. My time came, and he sat me down with his boss, my former manager. She cried as he announced I wasn't personable enough and used too many pepperonis.

I looked at her, the woman who had trained me on how many pepperoni to use, but she said nothing. What could she say? He was the boss now and had determined I was going to be let go regardless. Too many in this case was seven. Seven pepperonis on a personal pizza. The correct number was five according to him, which is one pepperoni per slice, and one in the middle.

I sat there for a moment, taking it in. I smiled at my old manager, obviously miserable. I looked back at him and said, "You're a terrible manager, you're doing the worst imaginable job." I outlined some of the things he'd done so she could hear them, then I stood up and left. I made it to the back room before I started crying.

I found out later through a bus boy that he replaced the whole staff with college kids who had such limited availability that the store couldn't run, then quit three months later leaving the whole place in shambles. Most of the old staff returned, but I'd moved onto the sex shop already and was enjoying a job with significantly less risk of being fired on a whim.

However I do have to disclose on job applications if I've ever been fired. I always says yes and list the reason as, "Excessive use of pepperoni." It has never failed to get a laugh from my interviewer.