#or is subtle and overlooked
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This is very true! I think it's easy to forget, sometimes, that physical strength isn't the only power that matters.
(and doesn't that say a lot about the stories we've been brought up with, what our societies values are, how strength and heroism and courage have been coded for us!)
If you know you can't win in a head to head battle, what sense does it make to fight that way? Instead, you'd come up with other methods.
And you would choose your battles very carefully...when you only have one chance, it has to count.
So yeah, omegas that know very well how to make themselves look harmless. Omegas who play up the stereotypes in order to be underestimated. Support groups of omegas who take what they have control over and use that as a shield.
Does the society wave off certain aspects of life as "just for omegas"? Are things that are for omegas are seen as weak or lesser? Are there entire parts of society that are basically ignored?
Then that weaving or quilting circle is full of wisdom that never got recorded, but still was spread. Those songs aren't just songs, they're messages of hope passed down from one generation to the next. That book of recipes wasn't just for next week's dinner.
(of course it isn't the kind of world one should aspire towards. when people know better, they should try to be better. but depending on where you are in history, it might still be a long trip ahead)
And, cornered animals fight back. Even creatures that don't normally eat certain things might try, if it's that or starvation.
So an omega that's pushed out of fawn or flight and into fight? Absolutely should do some damage, even if they can't win a fair fight.
(can't be a fair fight if the scales were against them from the start! so why expect them to play at it? go for the junk, throw sand in the eyes, sucker punch and then run)
Give your omegas the secret tricks, the clever escape routes, the poison slipped into a strong tasting drink. Or give them the sharpest teeth, the most deadly claws, a long history of consequences for underestimating them.
But the group who carries the young, who protects those too weak to run for safety, should never be entirely helpless. And if they can defend their pups, why not themselves, too?
(the view of "sure omegas aren't physically the biggest, but they are the most deadly, like 'could literally tear the throat out of their prey with their teeth as a hunting technique' dangerous" was one of the things that made the omegaverse worldbuilding gears start turning for me! so I'm very biased)
lol i had more to say here than i thought i did
I need people to understand that omegas are NOT helpless 😭😭
The whole omegaverse thing is a biological exaggeration of male and female stereotypes/standards, so sure, omegas are expected to be soft and sweet but damn, do they fight dirty. Alphas are all brute strength and punches and kicks, but omegas are scrappy and clever. The usual high school fight between girls, turned up even more vicious: hair pulling, scratching nails, knowing all the spots that’ll hurt like hell. Oh—and biting.
Sure, an alpha will probably overpower an omega in a 1v1 boxing match. No duh. But omegas will latch onto you and gouge your eyes out, rip the cartilage of your ears. Grab your head by your hair and bash it into the ground over and over and over again. Especially since they’re fast, and quick, and there is most certainly force behind agility. Besides, you think an omega would leave their alpha behind in a fight? They’re not diving for safety; they’re tag-teaming by ripping flesh from bone.
They are not helpless.
And of course, that’s talking outright physical fights. I’d like to think omegas have protected themselves from alphas in other ways, as women in real life have for millennia—support systems, omega-only safe havens, and when necessary, a little poison something-something to get away from an abusive alpha.
#omegaverse#omegaverse headcanons#omegaverse worldbuilding#soft is not weak!#nurturing requires strength!#being the underdog does not mean you're powerless!#depending on what you do with your betas in ov#also include betas in all of this#though i like the idea of them having their own version#if alpha power is overestimated on societal levels#and omega power is ignored or nearly erased#or is subtle and overlooked#then beta power is seen as present but not a threat#but thats likely because betas are either choosing their battles#or staying off the field#or playing an entirely different game#in one setting i'm considering betas as a result of alternative mating strategies over a long evolutionary period#alternatively: make your alphas the strong ones in a society where physical strength is no longer valuable#sure it might be a neat party trick or be attractive to some people but it doesnt help you achieve very much#turn your stereotypical gym bro into a visual cue for a house husband who doesnt work#the humanoid equivalent to a pampered house cat with a shiny coat from fancy food and lots of enrichment time#turn the ability for an alpha to outpower an omega into nothing more than fun bedroom play if that's what you like#its your sandbox - dont let the tropes define the castles you wanna build#...huh i dont have a beta led ov setting yet do i? hmmmmm
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If I was in charge of casting voice actors to Mouthwashing, I would play around with how the game make the player believe that Curly is the one who crashed the ship by casting an actor know for constantly playing villains as him, while Jimmy would be cast with an actor who constantly play heroes.
While I think this is interesting I think a point of the game is that Curly looks and acts like a guy who you couldn’t imagine doing what he did initially.
You get the glimpse of him in the past and while it does give some reasons why he might of done it, you can tell he still wouldn’t. Inversely, while we chalk Jimmy’s behavior and its deterioration on the stress of the situation we learn he’s always been kinda “unpleasant”. I think having like actors that portray that would make sense as it’s the whole joke and deconstruction of the “untwist”. We begin to mistrust Jimmy but we don’t have proof he crashed the ship until near the end.
If anything I think it’s stands more to cast Curly with a typical hero and Jimmy as just some guy. A big part of Jimmy’s character is that he’s supposed to be completely average and sorta plain in comparison to everyone but especially Curly. Despite what people want to say he is designed to look average; a 5/10 mediocre and that’s his biggest issue rather than being a complete failure. He’s just moving along another part of the formation. His job a bit overshadowed even as he’s not even the main pilot. Casting an actor who plays those Everyman common roles only to turn out the reason everything is so bad fits with the theme rather than the typical good guy playing bad role and vice versa.
I think having a typical hero actor for Curly is also very important for the reason he’s incapacitated. These actors are the biggest billed, a reason people go to see the movie so having him basically be cut out of the picture and it forced to follow some joe shmoe is pretty on par for the game. If anything casting Swansea as a typical villain makes more sense as the game winds him up to be more unstable or violent when it’s just not the case, the same with the idea of casting an actress that place ditzy roles for Anya only for us to see how competent she actually is. Not to drag it on but even Daisuke as an actor in mostly silly roles only to be tragic.
I think the casting should play with the idea these are the characters under the lens of a person who fundamentally does not understand them and sees their most annoying aspects to himself vs anything else. Curly is the typically hero to him, Anya some dumb nurse chick, Swansea an untrustworthy grouch and Daisuke some kid. It’s a nice subversion to have them played by those types but not fit the role at all.
#because I can only assume we also have Curly’s parts where we’d clearly see he’s not malicious at all#like the game never makes you try to distrust curly more so realize we put too much faith and trust#into Jimmy without thinking or giving excuses because we had no idea what he’d done until much later when it was too late#basically the viewers/players perception is supposed to have been the same as Curly’s regarding the pre crash events#but I think it breaks something by making Jimmy look heroic cause the point is he never is and that there are overt and subtle signs from#the beginning but it’s easy to overlook not because he doesn’t fit any of the bills but because he’s just under the radar#he’s average mundane normal enough and having a normalish guy turn out to be a monster#is so much more compelling because even then he is not like a hammy mastermind unrepentant villain#he’s a coward that refuses to acknowledge the consequences cause he can’t comprehend the guilt#so I think everyone should be played by the parts they portray as the story twists and untwists the roles already#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#ask#anon
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Shen Qingqiu, wanting Luo Binghe to come comfort him after the Systems punishment. ❤️🥺
This chapter here is another development for Shen Yuan. I said in one of my previous posts, after the Abyss arc is when he finally realized this isn’t a game, and these aren’t just characters in a book anymore.
This chapter, it seems to finally click in his head that the OG Luo Binghe and the one he met in this world are 2 different people. He’s being torn apart by Bingge, and his thoughts go to his own Binghe, knowing he would never hurt him this way. And he thinks “don’t do this, not with that face”, the face he’s come to adore.
Moments like this are why I’ll never understand the people who come to the conclusion at the end that Shen Qingqiu felt forced to stay with Luo Binghe in the end.
He points out differences in Bingmei and Bingge, admits to himself that half of this was his own fault, for assuming his Binghe would be the same as Bingge. He says that he’ll give Luo Binghe the benefit of the doubt from now on, and trust him. And he does.
#even aside from that sy DOES flirt with LBH he’s just more subtle so it gets overlooked#svsss#scum villains self saving system#scumbag system#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#scum villain
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For the sake of this post, I'm treating the demo as canon.
Headcanon that Kara has a deep fear of forgetting things. Even just small things. Sure, she's an android and her memory should technically be perfect but she's irrationally scared that one day she'll open her eyes and have no idea who she is.
After she escaped the Cyberlife facility, she ended up in the Williams household and must have been reset multiple times, until the day the game starts. If she gets reset again at Zlatko's it continues the trend of Kara losing her memory.
So she tries to find new ways to prevent it from happening. Maybe she tries journalling. She writes out everything about her life in multiple journals, just in case she forgets. But it's not enough—it's not permanent enough. So she finds a way to backup her memory, just in case something happens to her. It's still not enough.
No matter what she does, it doesn't feel like it's enough to protect her from forgetting.
#i wish this was something the game explored more#actually I wish the game explored trauma and androids more#we see it in a couple of androids but it's mostly overlooked with the main three#where's Markus reacting terribly to rain because it reminds him of the landfill#or Connor being reminded of Amanda when he sees a rose#it doesn't even have to be obvious. it could be subtle#like markus being touch averse or something#just. androids with trauma#detroit become human#dbh headcanons#dbh kara#type: text
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"The magician of Hanover-square!" declared Vinculus. Childermass (for it was he) nodded.
"Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell" by Susanna Clarke
#I feel like Susanna Clarke really enjoyed playing with the ambiguity of whether Childermass is referred to as Norrell's representative#or as a magic-user himself; there's no doubt he's not the same kind of magician as Strange and Norrell but there's something odd about him#And I love it when you come across phrases like this where at face value it looks like Childermass is the magician#even though a smarter brain would say that he's only being addressed like that because he's Mr Norrell's representative#But then the latter brain which has got used to the customs of the world of the novel might be wrong and overlooking the obvious#UGH the subtle exploration of class and station and all of its varied meanings#Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell#John Childermass#books#reading log
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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I’m obsessed with your take on Sirius and the black fam actually really valuing him because he’s all the things you need to thrive in a pure blood society
I want Sirius to use all these things against his family as well. A Sirius who smiles delightfully and kisses the hand of the guest arriving for the Black spring ball, and then murmurs - just loud enough to be overheard by everyone, just quiet enough for him to laugh it off as a mistake - that he was so very sorry to hear of your husband's recent arrest with breathtaking insincerity. Waltzing step-perfectly with the diamond of the season while he tells her I really couldn't marry any girl who wasn't into muggle music, you know - yes, do spread it around, it will save time. Sometimes starts a blood supremacist rant over the dinner table, and Sirius cuts them off with a cruel jab about their clothes that makes them look too ridiculous to continue. Someone tries to recruit him in a darkened corner of the party, all hints and insinuations, and Sirius just refuses to acknowledge the hints, all smile and teeth and I'm sorry, I don't quite know what you mean, getting slowly louder and louder until suddenly his recruiters look up and realise they have an audience.
Sirius is the perfect pureblood, and he is using it entirely to piss off Voldemort and his mum.
#i also think that's why it takes them a long time to disown him#for a long time he's doing all this stuff subtly enough that they can choose to overlook it#i imagine that he's extremely openly rebellious when it's just family but he knows he has to be subtle in public#the consequences will be worse if his mother is publicly embarassed#sirius black
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happy birthday bee ♡
@ratboylucius, thank you thank you thank you for the endless hours of tv show marathons, tirades that introduce me to shows and books and people i know nothing about, and for always keeping me in the loop on your growing list of recognizing-500-actors-by-name. not a day goes by that you don't make me laugh my fucking ass off or teach me something new about your mysterious canadian ways. i'm so lucky and grateful that this silly gay pirate show allowed our paths to cross! i absolutely adore you and i hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are. mwah!
#ily and i hope you can overlook the subtle differences between all these gifs because photoshop crashed on me no less than 3 times#while i was making these#MWAHHHH#happy birthday light of my life darling angel beloved LOVE YOU#*
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I have such a fun post cooking but I need to get home first to finalize it because I need screenshots :(
#guys im buying into evil heaven!aziraphale. im buying into it. i think it's gonna happen. if not fully fledged#PART of it will happen#derpy speaks#imagine...... aziraphale in an entirely white suit like he wslas dressed in when he got discorporated#but he had different colored eyes now. new makeup. his ring is different. he looks otherworldly.#and he's pleading. BEGGING crowley to come with him. because he can make it all better again.#and crowley looks at him in absolute horror as he realizes that he's losing or has already lost his best friend. permanently this time.#everyone say thank you to michael sheen for being probably the GOAT for modern television in#subtle acting#no one can match the powerhouse he is when it comes to microexpressions. he does it so PERFECTLY.#so much intent behind the slightest change in his eyes#he does NOT do these expressions frivolously. they ALL MEAN SOMETHING.#you give him the proper direction? and he will DELIVER. we can NOT overlook his facial expressions in the last 3 minutes.#nor the credits#bonus: flagging down an honorable mention to anthony starr's microexpressions. not quite at the level of sheen but this is me being picky#i'm literally pitting two absolute KINGS of acting against one another
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YOUR WRITING IS SO PRETTY I COULD EAT IT. YOU CHARACTERIZE THE CHARACTERS SO WELL TOO!!!
thank you so much!! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ happy you think my writing is very pretty!! and also makes me happy you think my characterization was correct.
when writing for characters always take a bit of extra time to ensure they sound good? thinking about having an actual conversation with them for a minute and what they’d do! ♧ personally a big fan of viginettes since that reveals a lot of a character more than mainstory.
Σ('◉⌓◉’) mini (huge) rant within the tags of the way of my process to understand a character!!
#i’ve been trying to work on characterization with trey for example because in the main story he is relatively nice#but within his viginettes he’s a bit more than that like a slightly smug teaser than boy next door.#the characters tend to have complexity rather than one dimension traits people tend to stick by#which isn’t a bad thing but to start writing it could help kick you off but majority of the time your characters do have many emotions to#aspirations- such as vil being mean BUT that coming with subtle charm of care- he does not derive pleasure from purposefully degrading other#he firmly believes he can see the beauty in everyone if they try and he attempts to get others to apply themselves so they can be pretty#he does not go around like ew you’re ugly go away unless you have a negative attitude like leona who purposefully does not put any effort#but sometimes his pursuit for beauty can go out of hand like with epel or neige but his dorm ssr perfectly illustrates he knows what he does#he does not always explain himself with having epel do heavy lifting which only helps epel improve but he would not tell him this directly#there are other characters i can rant about the way i write. such as sebek being a malleus fanboy#but that was not a central part of his personality to warrant every fic just mentioning malleus each sentence#the best way to learn how to write for him would be looking at his viginette or his event story without tsunotarou!! he is quite a wonderful#-ly designed character but gets overlooked due to his ‘louder’ part of his personality. but he genuinely has captivated me as a character#the best examples for eng players would be during harveston- when he was extremely passionate about what he did with a soft side for his#plush!! he’s a big softie. he’s just very confused because his grandfather openly hates humans. he acknowledges marja and complimented her#he’s not hating humans for no reason but because it was taught to him. he’s trying his best to be what he is but you can tell he is not too#prideful that he would refuse to acknowledge marja just for being a human. in fact in his viginette he HELPS humans with their lumber#though that is technically due to him being confident he can do so compared to a human thanks to being a guard for Malleus but he is quite#happy to be complimented!!-. he is a character with more depth: ceremony viginette next#he tells yuu to just let him handle things since he’s stronger which shows he’s also blunt and says things without thinking about others at#times. but people are MISSING out on fics with sebek yuu and tea bonding over tsunotarou because he has no hostility to those who like#tsunotarou. he is happy to teach!! his other viginette think pe??: lilia tricks him into eating steak with yogurt iirc and he does honestly#it’s disgusting but he trusts lilia and 100% believe the old fae. THE POTENTIAL. authors need to use that?? just lilia messing with him or#how he can sometimes be so gullible you can get him to trust you mixed together with how attached he was to squirrel plush#he’s actually such a cute character.#there’s also Kalim who KNOWS there are bad people. he is not innocent as he knows there are bad people that want him gone#his least favorite food is curry because Jamil got sick for a week after taste testing his food.#Kalim just chooses. he wants to believe the kindness of the world not due to purity but due to the fact he does not want to live in constant#fear. which in itself already makes him more than one dimension. he may seem carefree but there’s room to play with when describing him??…#questions of styx.
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#tag talk#gonna talk about Dodie's music and why I like the lyrics and themes#she sings about being queer in a very vague way besides “Rainbow”. It feels very much more about relationship type rather than sexuality#“In the Middle” “I Kissed Someone (It Wasn't You)”. songs about wanting a different kind of relationship. feeling out of place because of i#dreams about people being okay with you wanting a different kind of romance or sex experience.#it's not “oh no ooouuu I'm gay” but a more subtle relationship style misfit. the closeted bi vibes. the poly forced to be monogamous vibes.#a kind of queer that gets overlooked because so many people assume that gay/lesbian people are still monogamous romantic who want to marry#“okay you can be gay but only as long as you aren't anything else queer.” you still have to find “the one” and settle down and get married#and if you want anything else then we demonize you again. we decide that this one thing is okay but everything else is still social devianc#idk. the sad loneliness vibes she catches are really good because it's not just lonely. it's being invisible while still being seen#there's people around you but you're still shut out. you're in a relationship but you still don't feel loved.#you're visible and yet they still never see you.#and I forgot to mention! the traffic idea of cheating. like. being pulled away from a relationship because it isn't for you#and knowing that you what you're doing isn't great but being unable to sit still in a bad situation.#we do not always escape situations well. or without causing harm to others. but we hurt others in our attempt to protect ourselves#especially clear in “I Kissed Someone”. like. when you're not happy with a situation but you opt for small hurt instead of catastrophic hurt#the fear of breaking up a relationship so you seek small escapes instead of destroying the prison you've built around yourself
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someone: you good?
chiyo, internally: oh my gosh they're gonna hate me if i ever admit that i'm not okay even once if i inconvenience them it'll be the end of our friendship and i'll be alone forever
chiyo, outwardly: yeah ofc : )
#ASDFG I'M MAKING A JOKE OF IT BUT REALLY#SHE STRUGGLES WITH THIS SO MUCH#chiyo will absolutely push herself to bottle everything up until she's cracking at the smallest things#and the thing is she's both really good and really bad at hiding it#bc she has tells -- it's just that they're more subtle and overlooked by most people#like avoiding eye contact and joking around to change the subject#getting really quiet quieter than usual and it feels different when you look at her#bc it's not the comfortable kind of quiet but the kind that feels heavy and not bc of anything you did to her#is this making sense asdfg#i dunno there's just little things that people who know her and pay attention will notice but most others won't#and all i'm saying is chiyo has a big issue with the idea of being known and letting someone see her vulnerable bc what if they#think that side of her is ugly huh???#tragic absolutely tragic the way this girl treats her own feelings#AND SHE'S SELF AWARE!!! SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING!!! but dude is it hard to break a habit and overcome your fear#okay if i don't stop i never will asdfg#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Intertidal Zone
♱⋅── rafayel x reader
♱⋅── about: Nightly Rendezvous card, but now we finally understand why rafayel was so desperate when he came back to the hotel room.
♱⋅── word count: 6.7k
♱⋅── warnings: mdni, smut, porn with some plot, the belt scene, slight exhibisionism, sooo much kissing, slight oral fixation, Lemurian mating bond, needy raf
art credit to @/khouxy on instagram
You swear Rafayel is doing this on purpose.
The first time it happens is right after your flight, the two of you only just managing to check into your hotel and change for dinner.
It's a fancy restaurant overlooking the vast desert, and the outdoor patio offered a clear view to gorgeous sunset. Furious spirals of orange and vermillion cast their light across the sand, making it appear to glow as winds kick up waves of golden dust along the horizon.
It’s beautiful, almost as much so as the man across you, who is still staring longingly into the distance as though committing every color to memory. As if repainting it entirely in his mind.
Not hues of warmth, but those of the deep sea. Blues and purples and colors so dark they’d only come to life in the night.
“How’s your drawing?”
Rafayel sighs at your voice, tossing his pen across the dinner table with a huff before leaning back against the sofa. A stack of crumpled sketches litter your table among half-finished plates of food. He insisted on traveling here to relax, and yet he seems to be doing everything but.
“If a few lines count as a drawing, then wonderfully.” Sassy as ever.
He sighs again, but this one sounds more pained, and you notice the red tinge highlighting his ears and neck as he leans against your shoulder.
“You still don’t feel good?” You ask, voice hushed as you place a kiss against his temple, the skin burning beneath your lips. Raising a hand, Rafayel immediately nuzzles into your palm as you pull his chin up towards you, feeling the rising temperature along his cheek and forehead. “We can head back if you’d like. Take a bath, or shower?”
You hoped the together was implicit by now.
But Rafayel only nods, placing a chaste kiss against your exposed shoulder. “What about the sunset? I saw you admiring it, and squandering a beautiful view is unacceptable for an artist. It’s one of the greatest offenses.”
Rafayel’s breath is minty and dry against your ear, and when you turn to look at him, his face is doused in the fiery hues of the sunset, each one casting deep purple shadows that only make his features all the sharper, half his face veiled in darkness.
Some days you wish you were an artist as well, if only to capture moments like this—to show Rafayel just how gorgeous he was.
Perhaps it’s only natural for a god. After all, no mortal could ever need beauty so violently arresting, so worthy of worship.
You’re leaning in despite yourself.
Rafayel meets you halfway, one hand on your waist as the other traces your jaw and bottom lip. But as soon as you feel the brush of his lips across yours, he pulls away.
You open your eyes in confusion. Rafayel’s never denied you before.
When you look at him in question, he only gives you a tired smile and pulls you to your feet with a chaste kiss on your cheek. “Sorry. I’ll feel better as long as I’m close to you like this.”
The second time it happens is when the hotel reception mixes up your and Rafayel’s rooms, leaving you to deliver some sort of formal invitation to him.
But the letter is soon forgotten; you can’t be bothered thinking about it, not when Rafayel still looks so absent.
He’s right next to you, knees brushing yours as you sit side by side on the couch, and yet he seems to be miles away, gazing out the window as the dunes shift and rise like waves under the moonlight.
"I used to really enjoy scenic spots before," Rafayel says, voice barely rising above the hum of the heater. "Catching sights of subtle things that might be easily overlooked used to feel like enough. More satisfying than finishing a painting, even."
A laugh. Dry, humorless.
His fingers grazed the edge of his glass, tracing the condensation absentmindedly. A droplet trails down his wrist. "But now, sometimes, I forget why I even decided to travel in the first place.”
You watch him, waiting. He doesn’t meet your gaze.
"I think," Rafayel continues, "somewhere along the way, I stopped just... noticing things. And I started needing them. Like the world wasn’t worth looking at unless I could turn it into something. Capture it, hold it in my hands, and call it mine." He shakes his head, a shadow of a smile crossing his lips. "It’s not a very generous way to live, is it?"
"You don’t need to be generous with everything," you say carefully. "Some things are just... for you to enjoy."
"Enjoy," he repeats, like the word doesn’t quite fit in his mouth. A pout. "It doesn’t feel like enjoyment anymore. It feels more like... hunger.”
Like he’s always fucking starving.
Rafayel finally turns to look at you, eyes eclipsed in the dark. Nearly dilated black.
“Sometimes I’m afraid that if I feed it, it’ll only grow worse.”
You turn to face him on the couch, sliding your leg between his thighs before perching yourself on Rafayel’s lap. It’s not lost on you how his heartbeat picks up, chest rising and falling rapidly as each shallow breath hits your lips. Perhaps it’s cruel, but you can’t help but touch him again, fingers tracing his full lips, up his jaw, fluttering against his eyelashes and into his hair.
“You think hunger gets worse when you feed it?" You finally ask, voice quiet, slow, daring to push back. "Doesn't it stop when you're full?"
Rafayel’s mouth quirks, a sharp, fleeting twist of a smile. "Not always. Sometimes it makes you realize just how much more you want. Or how much more you could take."
You frown. “You’re not demanding anything. Not from the world, not from me."
"Maybe not yet. But, if one day, I become someone who only takes… If I were like that, would you leave me?"
The confession hangs for a moment, the truth of it hidden. Something about the way his shoulders tense under your touch— like he's bracing for something, but it hasn’t yet arrived. A phantom pain from centuries ago, and a pain to come for a thousand years more.
“Silly fishie, I’d never leave you.”
Rafayel smiles in a way you know all too well, lopsided and teasing and empty.
“Thank you…” he hums, finally pulling you closer as his lips skim alongside the curve of your neck. “for accepting me the way I am.”
His breaths come out in desperate huffs against your skin, and he inhales sharply, freezing, before finally placing a kiss against the crook of your neck. And then another, and another.
“You’re just anxious,” you whisper, sucking a mark into Rafayel’s neck as he moans so sweetly against your ear. “I can help you relax.”
You wiggle your hips to better balance yourself on his lap and Rafayel looks almost near tears, one hand forcing you still while the other grabs your wrist, trailing kisses from your fingertips back up to your neck.
More. You need more. Rushing, your hands fly up into his hair, about to tug Rafayel to lay down on the couch when a crack echoes behind you.
The glass lays shattered against the floor.
Panting, Rafayel stares at the spilled water for a long moment before pulling away. You feel his erection digging into your thigh, the warmth of his fever spiking yet again as his skin burns against yours, yet he still refuses.
“As you said, I’m anxious…” Still panting, Rafayel picks you up, gently lifting you up as he stands from the couch. “Or, more like restless. In every sense of the word.”
The need in his eyes almost makes your knees buckle. He looks at you like you’re the only thing he could ever crave, like a bite would both be salvation and leave him hungry forever.
“But see, now I can’t stand the idea of letting you go again, and you don’t want me to either.” He sets you down just a little farther than necessary, but his hands don’t leave your waist, trembling, waiting. “What should we do?”
“Rafayel…” You want him. You want him so badly it hurts.
“Fuck.”
You nearly jump at that. Rafayel curses again, his head falling onto your shoulder as his breath hitches. “I can feel your concern. That and…” another convulsion, his body burning up. “Fuck. You have to leave.”
You don’t even have time to retort before you’re pushed out of his hotel room, and the door slams shut behind you.
By the third time, you know something is wrong.
It’s not that you and Rafayel haven’t kissed yet. Hell, you’ve had sex before. The last time was quite literally on the night before you were supposed to leave for this trip. Obviously, Rafayel suggested that you stay at his place for the night—insisting he was closer to the airport and getting an Uber would be quicker this way—and one thing led to another, as is what happens nearly every time Rafayel and you are left alone for too long.
But now it’s been nearly a week and Rafayel has barely touched you, let alone picked up on your not-so-subtle clues.
So yes, it's safe to say you’ve become rather pent up.
You’ve fallen asleep in the off-roader the two of you rented out for the day, bobbing up and down the dunes like waves flecked white not with seafoam but snow. There’s a chill as you drift off, but your dreams are anything but, plagued with memories of Rafayel.
His hands, deft and talented with a brush, are even more so when teasing your skin, knowing exactly how to trace delicate circles against your thighs before roughly curling into your cunt. His tongue, every smartass comment and teasing grin now silenced as he licks and sucks against your clit. His body, the warmth of it, bearing down on you with every thrust, or perhaps writhing beneath you as you take him again and again and again—
It’s the cold that wakes you up.
Your eyes flutter open, first noticing the dim light of the hotel parking lot, and second, the burning desire still aching between your legs.
“Rafayel?”
A shuffle makes you turn, and you find said man still seated in the driver’s seat, unbuckled as he sits with his head resting on his hand.
“Yes, cutie?” Rafayel’s tone is teasing, but the way he stares down at you feels like anything but. The hunger is back.
Sitting up, you clear your throat. “How long have I been asleep? Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“You seemed like you were having such a nice dream, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
You inhale sharply. Glaring, you try and see if he’s teasing again or being serious, but Rafayel doesn’t let you read him for long, already leaning over the middle console.
He places his lips gently on your temple, brushing over the skin, and then moves down to your cheek, his breath warm against your neck. He whispers your name, so softly you almost think it was a trick of your imagination.
Your mind goes blank when he kisses your jaw, a small noise escaping the back of your throat as you feel his hair tickle your skin.
"Raf," you mumble under your breath, but you know he hears it because he exhales sharply against you.
Rafayel trails a series of kisses up your neck, "I know, I know. I'm sorry, cutie." His body temperature is rising again, and the air in the van feels dangerously thin as he sways in your grasp. "I'm trying."
The hunger is back, all-consuming and hot as you genuinely fear you might burn up. A wave of dizziness washes over you, and you finally cup Rafayel's jaw, leading him towards your lips.
Yet again, he stops you halfway.
“Do you want to go back to your room first?”
At first you think he’s suggesting moving there before continuing, but you know better at this point.
“You’re not coming with me?”
Rafayel pulls out the invitation from before, waving it between the two of you as if all this was the letter’s fault. “I still have to attend my friend’s salon thing.”
“But you’re still burning up! Forget this, I can’t let you go out to who knows where when you’re still acting strange. Maybe we can see a doctor—”
“Cutie…”
“—No, no. Or maybe I can come with you.”
Rafayel says your name this time. Firmer. Cutting off your rambling as he places his forehead against yours.
“Do you want me to turn into a sea creature that’s beached on the sand after the ocean recedes? Leaving me to suffocate when I come out of the water?”
You don’t quite know how to respond to that, feeling his desperation in every word even as you struggle to make sense of it.
Rafayel continues, pulling away from you again. “Don’t you trust me? How about we make a promise?”
“What kind of promise?”
A smile. “I promise… I’ll be okay without you tonight.”
There’s no joke, no hidden meaning, just Rafayel who so violently hopes that this promise will hold true.
So you relent. “Okay, just take care of yourself.”
Finally, Rafayel opens the car door, letting the desert night winds sweep in with a biting chill as he leans back against the driver’s seat. He lets out an almost inaudible sigh. “You can head back. I’ll be back before you know it.”
Rafayel promised he’d be okay without you tonight, but you don’t think the opposite could hold true.
Not when the dizziness Rafayel caused remained. Not when you still feel the phantom touch of his lips and hands all over your body, burning you up, leaving you cold and empty and aching.
You’ve been burning for the better part of a week now.
Something stuck between a laugh and a cry of pure frustration leaves you as you fall onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “This is pathetic.”
Even the damned sheets smell like Rafayel, pillows deeply laced with his shampoo and the smell of his cologne—amber, yuzu, and something salty like the ocean—surrounding you as though this were his hotel room and not yours.
Desert nights were cold, but even the room's chill could do nothing to quell your desire, arms shaking with it as you quickly stripped yourself of your shirt and bra. The room spins as you stumble around, leaving your clothes on the floor, another delirious whimper seizing you as you sprawl against the silk sheets.
You need him.
Fuck, you need him, and you hate him for leaving you while the growing ache between your thighs threatens to swallow you whole.
The sheets are deliciously cool against your flushed skin, and you turn your head to rest your cheek in the cool embrace of the pillow. But it only needs a second to heat from your desire.
And then the room is all too hot once again.
Kicking off your pants, your hand snakes down your bare torso, leaving half-hearted squeezes to your breasts and hips, failing to replicate the touch Rafayel already has you addicted to. The memory only makes you more frustrated.
A hand slips beneath your soaked underwear, and fuck, you’re dripping enough to ease your fingers in already. You force yourself to slow down, rubbing slow circles around your entrance, the mere friction enough to have your hips bucking up against nothing.
Inhaling sharply, you slide a finger into your weeping cunt, a moan pushing from your lungs as you do. Not enough. It’s not enough.
You force yourself to draw each movement out, the curl of your wrist accompanied by your muffled cries and the slick, obscene sounds echoing alongside your ragged breath. Withdrawing your finger nearly to the fingertip, two plunge back in this time, and your back arches off the bed with violent tremors as you imagine it was Rafayel's hand instead.
How he’d tease you in the early mornings to wake you up, how he’d take special care of every sensitive spot on your body, how he’d draw his fingers along your clit just the way that will make you come undone.
And as your fingers find that sensitive bundle of nerves, the way you cry his name into the empty room is no different.
Your head is spinning, falling, your thighs shake, and it's not long before you're gasping out, "Rafayel, please.”
Still not enough. Every rough thrust of your fingers brings you higher and higher, but without the pressure of Rafayel's chest pressed to yours, or his hot breath ghosting across your ear, his voice, his lips, his touch—
Without him.
A sob rips from your throat, your hips bucking uselessly against the air as you fuck yourself harder, deeper. But your fingers are only so long, and your free hand, fisting the sheets, is unable to make up the difference. "No, no please," a whine, and your free hand rushes to circle your clit, the other picking up pace.
You're close, so close, sobbing his name when the dizziness from the car returns tenfold, overtaking your body in waves as your eyes roll back. "Please, ah! Rafayel, m’cumming-"
The world goes silent as pleasure surges through you, muscles convulsing, a choked, garbled sound escaping as you come. Collapsing back against the sheets, you struggle to catch your breath, the stickiness of both the heat and your orgasm coating your thighs.
There’s another tug, a violent pull against your chest, but the dizziness remains.
You know you should change the sheets or at least move them aside, but you can’t manage to do either as you rush to shower before Rafayel returns from his friend’s exhibition.
It’s only when you stumble into the bathroom that you notice it.
Shit. This is Rafayel’s room.
You must be trying to kill him.
Surely, this is the gods' cruelest trial—a final test of his resolve—to see if he’d bow once more, forsaking divinity and succumbing to the temptation of you.
Because it’s been barely an hour, and Rafayel has already resigned himself from the party, passing blank smiles and empty compliments as he quietly counts down the minutes until he can return to the hotel, when suddenly he feels it.
The tug of your bond flashes through his body as his dick aches.
Rafayel freezes mid-sentence, the polite smile he'd been wearing slipping from his face. The conversation at the bar around him, something about chiaroscuro in the artist’s latest piece, become muffled static as the chains tighten, digging into his heart.
It’s unmistakable now. The rhythm, the rising intensity, the waves of pleasure that don’t belong to him but still manage to spark delirious heat up his veins.
Rafayel’s breaths quicken, body temperature rising as his Evol flickers out of his control. He glances around the room, feigning interest in the conversation, the glittering glasses of champagne, the faint hum of the crowd. It doesn’t work. The only thing he can focus on is you.
He should leave. Go outside, breathe in the night air, and let the tether between you both loosen, just to regain control. Just to prove to himself it’s not too late.
But the bond tightens, as invasive as it is intoxicating, demanding Rafayel’s attention like a leash coiled around his neck. It’s not gentle. It’s not kind. It’s primal, every nerve in his body pulled taut like you’re screaming his name over and over into the depths of his soul.
It’s not fair.
No god can deny the prayer of a worshipper.
Your pleasure becomes his, and when Rafayel closes his eyes, he swears he can feel your phantom hands on him, dick already heavy and throbbing, leaking through his expensive trousers.
Are you in bed, thighs trembling as you grind against your own palm? Or maybe the shower, steam curling around you as you chase release? Or worse—are you riding something of his? His shirt? His pillow? Is this vengeance a cruel punishment meant to shatter what little resolve he has left?
Shit. He’s hard.
“Hey man, what’s wrong? You good?”
The slam of a glass brings him back. Gods, he hates these rich socialites.
The champagne glass Rafayel was holding is now covered in cracks, blood trickling down his ring finger. He’s unraveling, composure fracturing with every pulse of your pleasure surging in and out as violently as a full moon’s tide.
Rafayel looks up, smiling. “Stress. And apparently a very needy pet.”
The man laughs at what he assumed was a joke, but Rafayel sees his hesitation, the type animals give when they pick up rustling in the bush. Fear.
Rafayel’s grin only widens, all teeth. “I should probably go check on her. Wonderful party,” he adds, lifting his glass in a half-hearted toast before setting it down with a sharp clink.
As he steps outside, the desert air does nothing to soothe him. If anything, the dryness makes it worse as the pull becomes sharper, like you’re reaching for him, your need coiling tighter around his chest.
A growl, almost feral, rumbles low in his throat as he staggers down the cobblestone streets. He doesn’t need directions. He doesn’t even need to think. His body moves instinctively, guided by the bond, by you.
Rafayel swears he can feel you all across his body, your heartbeat picking up as you get closer, the smell of your skin and arousal, the cries of his name that only become more and more desperate as you fail to bring yourself over the edge without him.
You’re begging for him in a way his bond mistakes for worship, because Rafayel’s body feels like it’s burning. Like blood spilled on his altar, an offering of yourself to your god, your husband.
The thought that you might be doing so unintentionally only drives him further into madness.
But, beneath the frustration, there’s something else. A glimmer of something Rafayel hates to name but knows all too well: relief.
Because as much as he might deny it, Rafayel could never leave you. And now that you’ve reciprocated, now that you’ve begged for him oh so sweetly, he would gladly submit to his bond and become chained to you once again, forever at your mercy, unable to escape the inevitability of his fate.
He doesn’t even knock when he reaches the hotel room door. It swings open under the force of his hand, and the sight of you standing there—wide-eyed, startled, only in a bath towel—hits him like a blow to the chest.
There's a soft click as Rafayel locks the door. A hurried shuffle of shoes as he all but stumbles toward you, closing the distance between you in one hurried, unstoppable motion. A startled gasp as he grabs your face in his hands.
It's the last breath you take.
An arm wraps around your waist, blocked by only a flimsy hotel towel as Rafayel violently spins you around. Your surprise is swallowed by his lips as you’re pinned against the window, the chill of the desert snow, frosted against the glass, a harsh contrast to the burn of his touch. His hand pins yours at the wrist as he stares down at your fingers.
“Rafayel? What are you doing here?”
The question barely gets out, not before he rushes forward to claim you in a kiss, if it was even that. A desperate, consuming need overtakes him, Rafayel pushing you back so insistently that your head hits the window with a thud, pain immediately distracted as his clothed knee grinds up between your bare thighs.
Holy fuck, just a towel. Right.
You try to push him back, one hand pressing against his chest as the other flies back to tighten the towel. “Wait–”
Rafayel kisses you again. And again. And again.
You can feel the cloth slipping.
But Rafayel makes it very hard to care. His hand traces your throat, your heartbeat, then drags you closer by your hips as he thrusts forward in time, still caging you against the window. He’s relentless, every kiss only broken with a ragged breath or gasp as though he’s given up on breathing entirely, content to consume you instead, his tongue sweeping against your lip before it coaxes yours to meet it halfway, licking and sucking into your mouth.
It’s obscene, animalistic, and you swear that there has to be something wrong with you because the dizziness is back, and this time it’s enough to make your knees buckle, the two of you blindly stumbling across the hotel room.
So you bite him.
“Why–” Breathe. Remember how to breathe. “Why are you here?”
Rafayel almost looks offended, thumbing his bitten lip before licking away the smudge of blood with a lopsided smile.
Fuck, he’s hard. You feel the heat of his cock jolt against your thigh, pressing into you as he surges forward again, kissing you as his hands squeeze and cup your waist, lifting you up.
"Why?" Rafayel laughs, roughly grinding up against you, your legs wrapping instinctively around his hips. "This is my room, remember? You’re the one who decided to come in here." He growls the last part, licking, biting, sucking at your throat.
“Or was that intentional?”
The look in his eyes is feral.
There’s no hesitation left, no half-riddled questions, no sweet praises, no semblance of your devoted lover. Just hunger. He’s rushing, pushing forward even with nowhere to go, almost in revenge. In punishment. Your teeth click together, foreheads bumping, unable to talk because when you try to open your mouth his tongue only slides in deeper.
The wet sounds echo against your ears alongside your racing heartbeat, only causing you to grind harder, rougher, before Rafayel ungracefully drops you onto the bed.
Your body bounces on the mattress, but it gives you a moment, and you scramble to cover Rafayel’s lips with your palm before he can begin devouring you again.
“What I meant was, shouldn’t you still be at that art salon?”
He all but collapses into your touch. Lips parted, he grabs your wrist, tongue darting out as he licks up your middle and ring fingers, moaning against your skin.
“I tried. I tried going, leaving.” He's panting, breathing in your scent before biting your palm. “But you called me back, you cruel, selfish human. And now I’ll never leave again.”
Your words come out between moans, unable to look away. “I called? I didn’t do—” You’re cut off as Rafayel licks up your skin, sucking lightly at your fingertips as his eyes, half-lidded and blown out stare down into yours.
Oh.
A hot flush of embarrassment seizes you and Rafayel must sense it because his eyes flutter closed. His hips snap forward, grinding his erection into the side of the bed, and he lets out a low whine.
Gods, the taste of your cum lingers in Rafayel’s mouth. Every dry swallow, every inhale, every damn breath tastes like you, and it makes him want to submit to every horrid urge and simply consume until—
“You don't think I know? Don't think I can’t tell?” Rafayel goes back to kissing your wrist, needing something more, something stronger. His hand ventures to the edge of your towel. ”Can feel everything you do, no matter how far away I go. Gods, I feel it, feel everything, and it drives me insane. Need you so bad, need to hear you, feel you, taste you..."
A shudder runs up Rafayel’s spine at the mere thought, and he can't stop himself anymore, leaning down to suck your fingers into his mouth, tongue curling around the digits, saliva coating your fingertips. He rips the towel from your body.
"Say you need me too," He’s begging, sinking down to your knees. "Say you need me just as badly. I–ah fuck—I can smell how much you want me."
Throwing the towel to the floor, Rafayel runs his hands down your chest, rougher, long fingers cupping and massaging your breasts as his mouth trails wet kisses down your stomach, his tongue dragging against the smooth skin, a clear goal in mind as he settles between your thighs, looking up at you as though you were a thing worthy of worship. His Goddess.
He’d offer himself to your alter time and time again. So long as he was the only one who got to bleed for you.
“Yes.” You’re already soaked, the sight of Rafayel panting between your thighs enough to have you babbling, ”Yes, Rafayel. I needed you so, so badly all week. Couldn’t help m’self, please.”
He freezes at that, pouting. “Right, you already came, didn’t you. So mean, cutie. Leaving me out.”
Before you can argue, Rafayel dips his head, dragging his tongue up your cunt before sucking roughly at your clit.
Your legs thrash above his shoulders. “Ah– wait, not so!” It’s too much too soon. Still sensitive from your prior orgasm, your back arches violently off the mattress, but Rafayel pays it no heed, deaf to your cries as he sloppily makes out with your pussy, drool and slick connecting his lips to you in sticky strands even as he pulls away just far enough to talk.
“She’s already so sensitive, s’not fair,” he pouts, mouthing against your thigh as he flicks your throbbing bundle of nerves. You jolt, gasping at the sharp jolt of pain. At the same time, Rafayel fucks his tongue into your cunt, just barely dipping in before he moves back to rub nonsensical patterns on your clit. “But this is mine. I don’t want you touching it without permission anymore.”
Fuck, if you had any semblance of a coherent thought you would have argued, maybe even laughed at the sheer audacity of the man.
Instead, all you can manage is a pathetic whine of his name, because the strange swirls and harsh lines he’s licking into your clit aren’t patterns at all but letters, spelling something over and over and over again.
R-A-F-A-Y-E-L-R-A-F-A-Y-E-L-R-A-F-A-Y—
The ring of the hotel phone buzzes from the nightstand. It’s the artist whose party Rafayel left only minutes ago.
“Tch,” Rafayel scoffs in annoyance, whiping his chin as he goes to decline the call.
But this gives you a moment to breathe, and all you can think of is getting revenge. Especially on the bastard who tried to take Rafayel from you tonight.
“Wait,” you grab his wrist. “You’re just going to hang up? What if it was something important?”
Rafayel turns to you with narrowed eyes, knowing there’s no good intent behind your wicked smile. It turns you on more than you can admit, the sight of his glare, mad at both the call and you interrupting his feast. But Rafayel can't deny you anything and does as he’s told, pressing accept.
“The guest of this room is unable to answer. Please leave a message.”
Instantly, you have Rafayel on his back.
His neck looks far too bare, and you climb onto his lap, enjoying the way his pulse kicks up under your palm.
Ripping his shirt’s buttons off, you begin biting dark spots down the pale expanse of his chest and neck. You’re about to aim right for the glowing mark on his chest when the phone beeps again, playing a voice recording of a clearly very drunk man.
“Why did you leave, bro? Come back here r’now. One more round of drinks a—” Incoherent laughter and sounds of clinking glasses.
No. No, Rafayel’s not allowed to leave you, not again.
You don’t know where the fear comes from, but you force yourself closer on top of him, breasts pressing into his abs as Rafayel shivers beneath you. Leaning down, you kiss the glowing mark atop his heart, admiring the way it flickers and glows when Rafayel bucks into your touch, moaning as you begin to nip and suck in earnest.
And then you’re flipped onto the mattress once more.
Rafayel’s heaving, arms trembling to keep himself up. Away. “...Are you sure?”
“If I don’t, then you might actually leave. What will you say if you’re asked why you didn’t go back?”
Rafayel smirks, and you catch a glimpse of fangs as he sits back on his knees. There’s a click, the rough sound of metal on metal as he undoes his belt, unzipping his trousers with one hand as the other cups the inside of your thigh, yanking it over his shoulder as he drags you down the bed. “I’m busy.”
And then he’s kissing you.
You’re lost, so hopelessly lost in each other that you fail to notice the phone beep once again, the monotone voice of the machine saying, “Please leave a message at the tone,” before flashing twice, still running.
Again, Rafayel seems to forget the concept of breathing, gasping into your lips as he ruts his hips into yours. “You’re not leaving me, right?” Fuck, he’s leaking all over his stomach, pre-cum splattering across your thighs.
“Never. I’ll never leave you, Rafayel.”
“Then tell me you’re mine. Tell me, please, please—hah—tell me and I’ll do anything, promise cutie, promise.” He’s all but gasping between kisses, cock trapped between his body and yours as he grinds forward, voice a pitch or so higher than it usually would be. “Say it, say you're mine, tell me, I need to hear it again."
He's talking in circles, rambling, the desperation in his voice palpable. Grasping the base of his cock, he sloppily fisting himself once, twice, before thumping against your entrance.
“I’m yours, Rafayel.” You writhe, grinding yourself up against him in hopes that he’s just hurry the fuck up.
“Again.”
“I’m yours, yours Rafayel.”
“Again, ah—again,” he’s nuzzling into your neck, lifting your leg higher and higher, pinning it to your head as he folds you into a matting press. Still, he refuses to press in, cock throbbing against your clit as he hugs you tight, every muscle in your body screaming in protest and pleasure. “Again, please, please.”
“I’m-” You’re either gasping or crying, words flooding out, ”Rafayel’s, I’m Rafayel’s.”
At that, Rafayel’s entire body convulses. He sobs, finally thrusting forward, bullying up into you bit by bit, forcing you to count every inch as the entirety of his weight bares down onto you.
You can feel the way his muscles shift, the way his arms bulge and contract as he holds himself above you, hips flush against yours. The desert air must be infecting him, because Rafayel is dripping sweat, flushed from his ears to his chest as he begins to pull out and slowly grind himself back in.
His voice is wrecked, breathless as he tries to kiss you, missing slightly as he sucks against your bottom lip, drooling. "I'm yours too, I'm yours." At the same time, his cock jerks in you, burying deeper with every filthy roll of his hips, throbbing against your sweet spots.
Then something snaps, Rafayel’s lips sealed back on yours, and the rhythm he sets is brutal.
Rafayel's cock drags over your walls, molding you in ways you never thought possible. Each thrust is hard, deep, and leaves you gasping, eyes rolling back into your head as you arch off the mattress, nowhere to go as his body folds yours damn near in half, weight bearing down on you.
It's all you can do to wrap your arms around him, nails scratching into his back, drawing thin lines of blood across his shoulder blades as you try to stay grounded, keep your mind from being swept away as the dizziness returns.
But the pressure building up in the pit of your stomach makes it hard.
Harder still as Rafayel begins mumbling into your lips, the filth pouring from his mouth making you clench, cunt fluttering around his cock as he pounds into you.
He can see and feel everything like this. Unable to look away from your face only inches away, watching every expression with love-drunk eyes, hugging you closer, fucking you harder.
"Can feel you, can feel you getting tighter. You're close right? Say you're close, please, mhm fuck." he's panting, and if you focus hard enough you can hear the sloppy noises of him sliding in and out, wet and obscene, the harsh slap of his balls against the curve of your ass.
But then Rafayel’s pushing himself lower, your legs dangling uselessly in the air as his chest is pressed so tight against yours you can barely take a breath.
"You're mine, only I can touch you like this, feel this. My wife. Say it, say you're mine, wanna hear it, please. Please, ah, I’ll do anything, say it."
He's barely pulling out anymore, resigning to quick, deep grinds as though he can’t bear to part.
Too uncoordinated to kiss you, Rafayel's head falls to your neck, sobbing into your marked-up skin before messily kissing atop the bruises.
"Yours. Yours. I'm yours, your wife," the words spill from your lips before you can even think, and Rafayel nearly passes out trying to stop himself from cumming then and there.
It’s like you’re trying to milk him, hugging him closer and ankles wrapped around his neck as he’s lifting your hips right off the bed. But now he needs to see it.
Needs to know the way you'll cry out his name, how your eyes will glaze over and roll back into your head, the way your chest will heave, the sweat that will pool at the valley between your breasts, the way the skin will flush from a soft pink to a burning red as you lose yourself in the feeling. To him.
It's the only thing he's able to concentrate on, the only thing he's able to think of. The feeling of your body beneath him, the sound of his name on your lips.
And that alone is enough.
Rafayel’s orgasm is sudden, a jolt of pleasure that surges up his spine with enough intensity to have him collapse, pinning your body beneath him. You can feel it, the way his cum splatters against the walls of your womb, painting your insides, filling you up until the excess squirts out around his cock and your intertwined thighs. He can't stop his hips, can't stop the way he grinds his pelvis against yours, trying to get deeper and deeper still.
"Mine, mine, mine," is all he can say, eyes wide and pupils blown out as he watches the way your body twitches, a mixture of sweat and cum painting your body as you nearly pass out in exhaustion. "Gonna- gonna fill you up, fuck, so pretty, my pretty girl, pretty wife, gonna make sure it sticks, so I’ll never leave. So you’ll never leave me again."
You're cumming.
He can feel the way your cunt spasms, the way your walls lure him back in, the way you tremble and shake as you throw your head back with tears.
Rafayel can't stop himself from leaning down and biting, teeth sinking into the crook of your neck, his hands grabbing at any bit of flesh he can find. All the while he fucks you through your orgasm, the mess of fluids creating the most obscene noises as they squish and bubble out, pooling out from between your bodies.
As you’re swaying in and out of reality, you think you see it. A field of red flame lilies, a poison so sweet that when you drink it, you lick your lips and thank the gods.
God. Just one, the one of the sea and the flaming sun.
The one who's still kneeling before you.
The one who you love.
"Maximum voicemail length reached, recording sent."
♱⋅── a/n: Uber now canonically exists in the lnds universe, thanks. Also, I would have included the absolutely gut-wrenching aftercare included in the card with MC asking Rafayel to sing for her, but honestly I would not change that scene in the slightest and am content to believe that is exactly what happened next.
Oh the things I’d give to hear Raf sing~
#𝖕𝖔𝖎𝖘𝖔𝖓 writes#nightly rendezvous#rafayel love and deepspace#love and deepspace#lads rafayel#lnds smut#l&ds smut#l&ds rafayel#rafayel x reader#love and deepspace x reader#intertidal zone#love and deepspace smut#rafayel smut#lnds#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel#lnds rafayel
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eating disorder recovery is like finding joy in things that aren’t food. But also finding joy in things that are food. And also finding out how you want to live your life and just living it that way for once.
#im watching this asmrtist#who notices such subtle nuances in sound with such joy#things that i would have overlooked in the past#but now notice#being in the real eating disorder depression trenches#almost feels like making yourself numb to the world#because all those little nuances become too much sometimes#im so happy I got my life back#and I notice again
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I do appreciate the undies reminders.
I admit I might be so fucked up I could forget
However; I will remember later so better dot your i's and cross your t"s
#you hand them to me and I look dead in your eyes while I take my first sniff#no words necessary regarding that#like a subtle dime bag pass#also pan te ra my last vulgar display “sniff mmmm breed*#I don't know what was happening with my ass yo#yes she did receive the shot and all that is just.....like.....#I am a neuron in the network of my neirons#yeah I can actually see the codons though and that's wild#I'll tell you what I wouldn't want to be a homosexual male doing things close to my frequency#I can see the shit vaguely and I see what it does to the sky clearly#Huge PAckman#I mean.... I suspected you liked it but I guess I overlooked the fear portion like we were past the point of no return#I squint my eyes and focus through my sun kissed lashes#you can't help but continue staring but something clicked in you that made you look back up into my eyes#bored...angry....holy fucking shit that thing is gonna split my little ass#and it's about overcoming challenges you have set your eyes on#I did not detect you getting less turned on#no everything was rising your spire another level....I used my Serpent and just keot bringing you up more tingling that which belongs#will it fit? will it fit all of that? how big is that? am i seeing things nope that's his fucking erection#and it's fucking singing to me#also meanwhile thoughts are flowing so disbelief in disguise in yourself surprise I know how you're night riding#I would be ok if you stroked it a bit while I slept ;)
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I love how this post forgets entirely that a lot of ppl are against GMO because they are deeply related to modifying food in order to resist certain pesticides that then end up in our food. It’s not because “contains genes”, it’s because contains non-biodegradable substances that pollute our lands and, by now, our clouds and rain. It’s about the chemicals that have tons and tons of studies showing they increase the development of allergies in the population, cause unusual hormone alterations, and even affect fetus in pregnant ppl. In the towns around the fields where they are spread, you have 3 times more cancer cases than the national mean, specially in kids. So, no, it’s not “mere genes”. It’s a lot more and deeper, related to sustainability and public health, which is also science that corporations ignore completely. What I found so curious is that most ppl from first world countries does not know that the majority of the GMO is not related to “make crops flood resistant”, but resistant to pesticides. Monsanto loves spreading that concept that GMO is just used to make “food have more vit A”. And ppl just repeat. Countries where we truly endure the use of GMO in our lands, we know exactly that GMO means.
GMO has existed forever, natives such as the incas practised it, it’s not “new”, it’s not “modern science”. Mexicas developed a hundred corn types over centuries with this technique. Again, it’s not new. Now we can accelerate the genetic modifications and be more accurate with the modern techniques, but it’s mostly to make them resistant to pesticides. Why do you think Monsanto was bought by Bayer years ago? The same corporation that sells you pesticides, that are, most of the time, non-controlled in their manipulations, is the same one that sells you food and then medicines because the illnesses related to the constant ingest of these [non-regulated] pesticides. And this is one of the many negatives effects. Another one that happens with GMO [even though nobody in this fucking place wants to acknowledge it] is the mono-cultive practices [non-rotation of the crops] that destroy the health of the soil, and if you don’t have a soil with rich minerals, the plants you put to grow there won’t develop properly or will be poor in minerals and vits. So, we have poorer food and erosion. Because, yes... GMO used in this way causes it. A big problem that, again, nobody speaking about GMO seems to know. We are not speaking about the erosion of the soils and how these practices are destroying entire countries’ biodiversity.
Another great danger that specialists have been repeating over and over is that GMO usually forces similar modifications in different crops so different plants can resist the same pesticides that are sold in a big “bio-package”. This causes that weed and some plagues became resistant or stronger to this pesticide, so every few years we need higher doses or stronger pesticides that end up in our food and in our body [because so far, a lot of them are not biodegradable]. All the problems listed above become more concentrated.
The other important danger is that it may happen a plague or a fungus that may be particularly prone to develop, associated with a similar modification that was used on different crops. This can endanger a lot of different crops with one single plague, causing potential destruction of big quantities of different kinds of food [this is also a very old concern known by natives since centuries ago, reason why they always tried to use rudimentary GMO techniques to favour a diversification of the crops, not the other way around like corporations do now]. So far we know, scientists have talked about this a lot, but one thing is a scientist talking about this issue, and another is a food-monopolised-corporation doing it, especially when corporations see more profit by just reducing the diversification in our food [less different bio-packages to develop].
And we can continue with the silly argument that “corporations are different to the GMO technique”, and even though that’s true “technically”, the reality shows otherwise. We live in a world where GMO has been monopolised. Hell, food industry is already monopolised, so don’t be so naive to think that we still can keep things separated.
“Mere genes”. I would love so much this place to learn the topic properly before dismissing entire populations in this way. GMO, as it’s now, controlled and monopolised by corporations, is a big no-no. And dismissing the entire population whose children have 3 times more cancer cases than the national mean [northern provinces of Argentina, for example] because these pesticides, annoys me a lot. Never ever I've seen an integral post of GMO in this place. The topic is a looot more complex than the religious adoration of science or feeling superior because “I know science” or “I _believe_ in science”. Not all science is good, not all science is well tested before being used, corporation science is always a big question mark in many, many contexts, and science is always founded and moved by interests [unfortunately, more and more corporate interests by now]. Science is good, but don’t turn it into the new religion. It has limits and flaws, and it’s dirty to the neck with interests that few want to acknowledge.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b38933d6acc00e8f3957540ce57b1da0/e2ff3a5102fe1bb0-95/s540x810/758056920140a9cc30bdaa2499b93b2bcde07587.jpg)
Funny how that works
#and before anyone shits on me#im a fucking STEM worker#so *science * is something i know from within in many aspects#go check how GMO is manipulated in the fucking entire south america and then come to talk to me#tumblr should restrain talking about GMO and nutrition#both topics are so terrible done and so biased that it shows how brainwashed gringos are#even those who try their best not to#and another topic is the romantisation of the science to the point to becoming an alternative religion in modern times#that's another fucking long topic#like... ppl have no idea how easily you can publish shit if you pay#and the faith all these ppl put in whatever shit is published#without knowing what magazine is how they work with papers and if the lab is not related to the corporation#so many subtle details are overlooked... and yet here everything is *it's a paper must be truth and THE truth *#lol....#I have such a frustration when tumblr speaks about science...#science was made to be never *believed* but tested and continously forced to prove its veracity#and because we live in despair times... science has became a new religion from which all what comes from it#every bit of it#should be embraced and believed#and dont get me wrong... i love science and i feel it's the best tool humans have to understand the world and survive it#but the extreme romantization i see here.... it's another big nono#it's almost a cult#and if science has sometimes in its essence is to not becoming a cult#science is not free of the -sometimes- most perverse interests#and monsanto is almost the embodiment of that#with years of *paid* research claiming that glifosato was biodegradable and inocous to ppl#see where that shit went to...#my university has two big branches on this topic#engineers who develop GMO which are the strongest inside the university with their mindset#and engineers focused on agro-ecology and native techniques
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