#or im gonna make shit a WHOLE LOT WORSE
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I- I'm not feeling the best... I haven't been for a while... I'm going to try to get some rest or something. What do you normally do when you're sick? I'll figure it out... anyways just don't question if I like. Die or something. I dunno.
I know I haven't been the best of a person lately, but this is a little much...
#its all for the lore.#tails actually taking care of himself for once?#did shadow actually get something through that thick skull of his??#also the amount of truama hcs i jave for this little guy about being sick#imagine being told your whole life that only bad kids get sick#hehehe#the underlying detail in literally all of his conversations since he took the chip out is that hes been ill#depending on how im feeling#hes either going to start getting bettef#or im gonna make shit a WHOLE LOT WORSE#i dunno#standing on the line waiting for the wind to sway me one way or the other.#miles tails prower#sick days#ask blog#rp blog#tails ask blog#tails rp blog#tails the fox#sonic rp#sth
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ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....
#just med shit innit. gonna force myself up at my usual work time even tho i have the day off bc I need to be in my routine or ill lose it#i am. very tired and very sad. and thats ok generally im ok ive been keeping myself so busy for weeks and weeks#and im glad im going out n doing shit often n meeting new ppl n trying to focus more on hobbies n get more on the life balance#but whenever i have a moment to stop i still get so sad. ik exactly why theyre all just old aches n wounds i dont want to wallow in them!!#lately its been well under control i only usually have one actual bad day a week and sometimes its not even a whole day#and the rest im.just busy and i dont know if im just avoiding things and its not satisfying being busy bc im still missing out needs#but i cant fulfil them so might as well stay busy and not think about it!!#and its okay its all okay im just so sad right now :-( but im going to sleep soon and then ill be busy tmr so i dont have to think abt it#i wanna ventpost abt it but also i dont rly want to bc findinf the words to talk abt the things distressing me involves thinking abt it#which will just.make me feel worse. and it wont resolve anything bc its all mostly outside of my control anyway just hurts innit#but im trying hard to make my life bigger than it was before even if its still shallow and not quite enough at least it covers more space#yeah yeah we all want to feel genuine connection and wanted and loved but life doesnt often work out like that so.#hands in your pockets player keep it moving. im goiny to brush my teeth and then rly need to go to bed zzzzz#.diaries#hope everyone else had a nice weekend i had a pretty good saturday at least. and played a lot of videogames today so could be worse#very glad i dont have work tomorrow as well thank u past me for booking it off ahh..
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I'm quitting my job in half an hour.
#this job depends on me way too much to carry the whole damn restaurant#its killing me#the stress. both mental and physical. is ruining me#its just me and a trainee who doesnt know anything after 10am#i have to bring a coworker home at 10am. and im just not gonna come back#gonna text my manager like ten minutes before we go so that he has a warning and can come help the trainee#if i start to feel bad i remember that he could fire me at any time with no warning#this job has treated me like shit as long as ive been here and ive finally hit my breaking point#i had an interview at Starbucks the other day and i did pretty well#hoping that they'll hire me#if they dont then ill come back here. kind of#i work in a restaurant connected to a gas station#the gas station serves food. salads and sandwiches and stuff#i used to work in the kitchen over there and make the salads and sandwiches and stuff#i just learned that they want me to go back there#i might#they treated me a little better and i liked the work a lot more#the walking out wont be too big of a factor. not too much to keep them from rehiring me#theyve let people back who have been fired for so much worse#ive got options. they shouldve remembered that before treating me like shit#i shouldve left long ago#like when they made me run it by myself for nine hours. or when i had to spend the day cleaning up maggots by myself#but i guess this is my breaking point#i would get no break today if i stayed. work nine hours with someone who doesnt do shit. with no break#not doing that to myself#im gonna text my boss. drive home. take a nap. figure out some next steps#im gonna visit my fam for Christmas. i was gonna do it for only three days#im thinking im gonna extend my visit#my sibling will be there too and i havent seen them for quite awhile. so itll be nice to have more time with them#cant wait until 10
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#im gonna get existential here and then reblog a bunch of shit so that neither myself nor anyone else has to see this#if any of my buddies happen to see this#this is your warning#i wouldnt wosh this mental spiral pn anyone#you eber think about how one day yoir eyes are gonna close for the last time and thats it?#no reincarnation no waking up in a new world even any dreams of a fictional reality will end once braon activity dies#and that list blink cojld happen at any moment#because i think about it! i never want to its practkcally intrusive thoughts at this point#but i do! against my will!#kinda makes it hard to sleep cause im suddenly too scared to in case i sont wake up!#and what have i even done with my life? not a whole lot#im never gonna leave my mark on history or even on my family tree#i am utterly average and ghats pkay not everyone ks gonna be exceptional with a story#but god damn ive really not done much and theres things ive wanted to do and havent and i coukd easily get on with ot#if i wasnt such a procrastinating pussy#also probably cant get legally married cause unofficially disabled people cant get married unless they want to be financially fucked#so yknow just trying to sleep so i can enjoy my date tomorrow with my fiance and my brain is pulling this shit#likely because ive been in canada nearly 7 months and i still have found a job and probably wont#and also i turn 30 in 3 months#i know i know 30 isnt old but my brain gremlins are rioting and im having a jard tome wrangling them#its hard being away from my support system#im across the world from the people i could seek a hug from#fiance fights this with logic but thag gends to just make ghis worse#and we both run warm so we cant really cuddle for long without bkth of us overheating#so yeah. brain is braining and im tired but cant sleep
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As much as I can take pride in how I can draw mouths well & how fun it is to do like unique stuff w that, I always am antsy that it'll end up getting me looked at weird for drawing them or get me weird unnecessary comments.........
#been havin this thought since yesterday w the. mouth refs i drew for ishtar bc i wanted to like. show off little unique features bc.#its fun to me? to show little details & such like the fact they have glowy tongue or double fangs & such. when in alien self ofc.#but like... I've had a. history. of ppl always kinda. making. certain remarks. about how i draw mouths. & its always so..........#it makes me feel. uncomfortable.#now mind you i dont mind if friends make jokes (ideally as long as it doesn't touch on a certain thing that is a lil bit ick to me) bc like#its my friends so ofc they're allowed to say whatever the hell they want im not gonna give a shit my friends always have like.#open leeway freepass to almost any kind of remark & i will not care i'll find it funny. but its specifically when its from acquaintances#that i dont know well. or worse. from strangers. that i'll start to feel. a way about if they make those kinda remarks.#only instance i'd be bothered by friend makin a comment that's more out there is if its done in a way that's excessive? like as in#makin it seem like they're tryna reduce the thing i drew to just. that. or insinuate repeatedly i had diff intentions ww hat i drew.#(by taht i mean them imposing on me the idea that its for kink reasons which--dont. reduce me to that. please. its wildly uncomfy.)#(when you get reduced to just that i mean. bc i have had this happen/be done to me by ppl as. reducing me to just “kink person” or#other. kinds of. things like that.)#but w strangers its a hard please do not fuckin claim id rew that bc of. those reasons. at all. idc. or dont be weird ig is the gist.#anyway this tag ramble got lengthier than i expected so. whatever.#ishtar rambles ;#btw? this isn't me being against kink stuff. bc i dont judge for that. so do not twist this into some kink shame thing.#its just voicing this whole 'please don't reduce me to kinks only' issue i have had happen a lot.
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had the worst case of my blood becoming icy and my heart dropping to the floor thinking about a work thing in the SHOWER. truly embarrassing
#i mixed up two people#somewhere around noon#and its not a situation in which i can go back and correct myself#but! it doesnt matter a whole lot#bc both of them need to do the same thing essentially#so its 90% okay with the remaining 10% being a thing im not gonna check bc it probably wont matter?? and even if it did. its probs fine#unless theres a person whos just really stupid#thats unfair im the dumb one in the situation. but another person being stupid could make it slightly. worse#so in conclusion its FINE#but i just hope no one remembers i said anything#and im still a bit panicky#its been a shit week (←it is monday night)
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enemies by blood
summary: born in a mafia family definitely wasn’t easy. especially when your dad’s enemy’s son, park sunghoon goes to your school. reader and sunghoon grew up hating each other due to their father’s bad past with each other, but what’s gonna happen when they want their kids to finish what they started?
warnings: (gang)violence, lots of fighting, murder, blood, drugs, money laundering, guns, kissing, usage of "oppa", pet names, bad ending
word count: 4.5k
note: i haven’t read through it‼️ ignore spelling mistakes
pt.2
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my whole life i`ve felt like an outsider. people always look at me weird, they give me dirty looks, but at the same time theyre afraid of me. all because of my family.. my dad to be specific. since before i was born, my dad has been a part of this mafia gang thingy where drugs, guns, killing, and all of that stuff was involved. so growing up i was taught most of those things. id say im pretty good at fighting, and using guns. my mom on the other hand died when i was 10, she was killed by some guy that my dad was having problems with.. ive never met someone who can relate to me whatsover, except for park sunghoon.
sunghoon goes to the same school as me and grew up exactly like i did, and when i say exactly i mean EXACTLY. his dad is a part of a mafia gang too, so sunghoon grew up involved with that as well just like i did, and guess what? his mom got killed by a guy his dad was having problems with as well. if you put two and two together.. my dad killed sunghoons mom so sunghoon`s dad killed my mom, which is one of the reasons why sunghoon and i grew up hating each other.
my dad told me that him and mr. park used to be a part of the same gang, they were actually really close friends until something happened between the two of them that ruined their friendship and caused them to turn on each other. basically, my dad and mr. park were planning a huge drug deal, but for some reason mr. park tipped off the cops to make sure all the money made off the drug deal would be his, so when my dad got arrested for it he spent 10 years in prison. and when he got out he killed sunghoons mom as revenge, but when mr. park killed my mom for revenge because of his wife`s death, it made things worse between the two.
i was sat in the backseat of the fancy car i was driven to school with everyday by my dads personal driver, min. i was not allowed to walk to school and especially not alone. my dad told me there are people who know about me and that since im his daughter they kinda want me dead.. which is understandable? i guess, considering the kind of shit my dad does to these people. "were here, miss y/l/n" my driver says, parked right in front of my school. "thank you-" i was two seconds away from getting out of the car before i was stopped by my drivers very concerned voice. "wait, mr. park is right behind us. would you like to wait?" i rolled my eyes at his words, not giving a care in the world about park fucking sunghoon. "i`m okay. thank you, min"
the second i made my way out of the car i was met with sunghoons tall figure stood not too far behind me. he threw a glare at me that i quickly returned which he rolled his eyes at. as we both started walking to the entryway of our school, we were pretty much walking next to each other, obviously, since we were going the same way. "thought the teacher told you to cover up?" he suddenly says, referring to my choice of clothing, his eyes looking straight ahead as hes avoiding any and all eye contact with me.
"you were the one who went complaining to our teacher about it, acting like what i was wearing wasn’t making your dick hard" he only chuckled at my words. once we reached the entryway, he opened the door and stood to the side. he grinned, "ladies first" he said. i gave him a fake smile and walked through the open door. right as he was about to walk in from behind me, i slammed the door shut in his face and locked it so he couldn`t get in no matter what. i watched him banging on the door and yelling at me to open it. "oppa! i think the back door is open" i said loud enough for him to hear, knowing its a good 5 minute walk to get there. i laughed at how furious he was before making my way to class.
i guess you could say me and sunghoon act childish with each other sometimes. we argue a lot over dumb, unnecessary and small shit for no reason. we could choose to ignore each other but since i have it out for him and he has it out for me, its hard not to say anything every time we come across each other. we`re not exactly like our dads. we dont pull a gun on each other every time we cross paths, but do not get me wrong. there are times when our silly little arguments have evolved and turned into something much bigger causing a physical fight ending in blood and injuries. but its always been between just the two of us, we`ve never involved our dads or anything because we seem to just handle it on our own.
"i hope everyone here studied for their exams, you had all week and i will be disappointed in you if you fail" our teacher was walking around and placing the exam papers on each one of our desks. suddenly, at the sound of the door being slammed open, everyone turned their heads just to see sunghoon standing by the door looking pissed. "mr. park! it is one thing to come late to my class to take your exam, but its another thing to slam my door open and interrupt me" watching our teacher yell at sunghoon really made my day, especially the embarassed look on his face which made me smile to myself.
"im sorry, miss. i had to come in through the back door since-" before he could rat me out, he got cut off by our teacher who decided to yell at him once again. "i don`t want to hear it mr. park. take your seat and be quiet" sunghoon glared at me silently before he made his way to his desk which just happened to be right next to mine. i was expecting him to start throwing childish insults at me, but to my surprise he looked down at the piece of paper in front of him in complete silence. odd, but i couldnt be bothered to start anything during our exams.
"you guys have 1 hour to finish your exams starting from now" the room went completely quiet once everyone turned their heads down and started writing down on the piece of paper. i was focused on my exam until i felt something press down on my foot. confused, i look underneath my desk to see that its someone whos pressing down on my foot with their own. of course when i look up to see who it is, its sunghoon. hes not looking at me as his eyes are stuck to the paper in front of him, instead he uses his pen to point at a tiny note right next to his paper. i can see that theres something written on it, but since i couldnt make it out i decided to lean over his table a bit. squinting my eyes, i read the words "shouldn`t have locked me out pretty thing" pretty thing? really? is he referring to me as a thing? what an ass..
"miss. ___ is looking at my papers" wait, what?! i look up at sunghoon whos smirking at me, ew.. before turning to our teacher who looks like shes actually about to kill me.
"miss, i wasn’t-"
"i dont want to hear it! detention now, miss y/l/n"
fucking unbelievable. if im gonna miss my exam and end up in detention, you sure as hell know sunghoon will too. i tried not to lose my shit, grabbing my backpack before "accidentally" tripping over sunghoons desk which kinda revealed a bit of my behind to everyone in class. "miss! sunghoon just tripped me on purpose.." i said, acting all shy and embarrassed about how my skirt flipped over. "shes fucking lying!" sunghoon stood up from his desk and i could tell he was gonna lash out on me.
"am not! you tripped me over that desk on purpose you fucking pervert-"
"watch your mouth you lying piece of shit!"
while me and sunghoon were lashing out on each other, we didn`t notice how our teacher was red in the face like she was about to explode out of anger. "that`s enough! you guys are grown enough to know not to be using that sort of language, nor to be arguing like little kids! you should know to act better. detention for the both of you right now!" she yelled in our faces while everyone else were sat staring at us awkwardly.
both me and sunghoon were now sat in detention. we also just happened to be the only ones here, along with a teacher tho.. sunghoon was sat on the other side of the classroom as he wished to not be near me at all, which i’m glad for. i was scrolling through my phone when the teacher suddenly got up from the chair he was sat on. “alright. i’ve got a wife and kids to get home to, so you two better behave on your own until school is finished” and then he left just like that, leaving me and sunghoon all alone. "cant believe i`m missing my exam because of you.." i spat, breaking the silence. "maybe if you hadn`t locked me out i wouldn`t have done what i did. besides, the stunt you pulled really just proves my point. you really are a slut-" and this is usually how our fights start.
gripping the book in my hands that was on my desk, i quickly threw it in sunghoons direction and his instincts kicked in instantly. he dodged the book which flew right past his head, hitting the wall with a harsh thud that left a noticeable mark. "nice try princess" he pushed his desk to the side and began walking towards me as he was visibly angry. i ducked as fast as i could when he swung his fist at me. i felt a rush of air across my face that his fist had missed. "a man hitting a woman? that`s not very man-like of you" i twisted my body as i attempted to throw a kick at his knee, but sunghoon was quick to jump back which resulted in my foot connecting with the wall instead. "fuck!"
"dont hurt yourself now" sunghoon smirked before his next punch successfully caught me across my cheek, causing a sharp pain which made me stumble backwards. suck it up.. i launched myself forward and managed to tackle him down. with sunghoon on the ground, i was now straddling him with my fists positioned in the air right above his face. we were both breathing heavily as sunghoon struggled to get away from underneath me. "are you getting weaker, park sunghoon?" i asked, lowering my fists before getting back up on my feet. "youre saying that as if you didnt take the most damage" he panted, sitting himself up against the wall. "yet i`m not the one whos out of breath" i grabbed my backpack and made my way out of the classroom as i couldn`t be bothered to deal with his bullshit anymore, and i could feel his eyes on me as i walked out.
"dad! im home" i walked into the kitchen with no sight of my dad. i jumped when i saw my dads personal driver sat at the kitchen table. "min? you scared me. wheres dad?" i sat down next to him, placing my backpack on the floor. "your dad is currently in a meeting, hell be back soon. how did your exam go?" i watched him eat his food as i had no idea what to say to that. "couldnt have gone better.." i lied. he hummed, "if youre wondering, then no, i didn`t tell your dad i saw you and mr. park having a conversation on your way inside" i furrowed my eyebrows at him. why did he think he had to keep something like that away from my dad? we weren`t exactly saying positive things to each other, unless he thinks..
"ew, no! its most definitely not like that. we do talk sometimes, but its just shit talking about each other to each others faces" i said, not missing the way he threw me a look that screamed "i don`t believe you". i rolled my eyes playfully,
"i do not like sunghoon whatsoever-"
"i`d hope so"
i heard a voice say. turning around, i saw my dad walking into the kitchen with a lot of papers in his hands. "min, these are for you" he handed him a few of the papers which min accepted and thanked him for before he got up from his chair. i watched my dad sit down on the chair min was just sat on, "what did i hear you talking about just now?" he questioned, placing the rest of the papers on the table in front of him as he started going through them one by one.
"my exam" i said, which wasn`t completeley a lie. he turned to look at me, raising his eyebrows before looking back at his papers. "i was meaning to talk to you about sunghoon" what? why sunghoon out of all people? "you were..?" i asked, feeling myself getting a little nervous. "you know, sunghoon is no different from his father. he`s just as bad as him" i hummed as i was trying not to show how desperate i was for him to get to the point. "i was originally planning on doing this myself, but i figured that it would be a better for you to do it, since you "do not like sunghoon whatsoever""
"well, ur right about that. what is it that you want me to do dad?" he paused before he took a deep breath. he turned to me slightly and placed his hand on my shoulder, "sweetheart". he finally said as curiosity started taking over me. he hesitated for a second and it kinda freaked me out. was this gonna be some sort of arranged marrige? did he know about our fight today? or maybe- "i want you to kill sunghoon" what?! kill sunghoon..? i’d lie if i say i didn`t hate him, but ive never gone as far as to actually wanting to murder him.. i never have, never will, never wanted to and never planned on taking someone’s life, even if it`s someone who i despise.
“i know i’m asking for a lot-“
“asking for a lot? dad, you’re asking me to take someone’s life..”
“sweetheart, i know. but unfortunately this isn’t a choice” i watched him in horror as no words were able to leave my mouth. “you will do what i’m asking you to do. you wouldn’t want to disappoint your father, right?” he stood up from his chair, looking down on me demanding that i give him an answer. “y-yes dad..” i managed to get out, not bothering to look at him. “very well then” his footsteps were heavy as he walked out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts. i can’t kill sunghoon.. but i have to? no. i don’t have to, i think? it’s what my dad wants me to do, does that mean i should? murder is wrong, but sunghoon is a bad person. does sunghoon deserve to die? shit..
“you want me to kill ___?” sunghoon’s dad had delivered the exact same news to his son. “that’s right. she’s no different from her father” sunghoon knew that what his father was asking him for was wrong. he couldn’t bring himself to kill ___, even tho he hated her he knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do.
“dad.. i don’t know if i can-“
“don’t start with me son. when i tell you to do something, you do it. don’t act like it’ll be hard, she’s a woman after all”
a woman who could easily beat my ass.. sunghoon thought to himself. “yes father” he said. “very well then” he watched his father walk out of the room, what was he gonna do now? should he kill her just because his father told him to do so? the guilt would be with him for the rest of his life if he did. but he wouldn’t want his dad to be disappointed in him, right?
“we’re here, miss y/l/n” min said, parked in front of my school. “thank you..” i made my way out of the car and prayed to god that i wouldn’t bump into sunghoon. a whole day had gone by and i still needed to process everything. i looked around as i made my way to the entryway with no sign of sunghoon, and i was relieved when i finally reached the door. but before i could open it myself, someone had opened it from the inside. looking up, my heart dropped at the sight of sunghoon stood in front of me. i swallowed nervously as we were both stood staring at each other in complete silence.
i tried to move past him, and so did he which caused our bodies to push up against each other. “sorry..” sorry? why the fuck did i apologize? “it’s alright..” he mumbled, moving to the side so i could walk past him. not wanting to make things even more awkward, i quickly walked past him and hurried my way over to class. wait, but.. why was sunghoon acting weird as well? maybe something happened and he was dealing with a personal matter.. don’t know, don’t care. he’ll be dead soon anyway.
i’m getting ready to start working out in what my dad calls "the den" its basically this underground gym/boxing place where my dad trains along with his men, but i usually show up after they’ve all left since i like being on my own. i had put on some black shorts and a white top that hung off my shoulder on one side. i reached for a hair tie and gathered all of my hair, putting it up in a high ponytail while some strands in the front were left loose. i then carefully started wrapping my hands in hand wraps and flexing my fingers afterwards. turning to the punching bag, i was getting ready to start my usual everyday practising, but that was until i heard footsteps coming from behind me. it was weird since i thought everyone had left, but when i turned around i was at a loss of words.
"how’d you get in here..?" my voice shook, watching sunghoons tall figure leaning against the door to the entryway. "wasn’t that hard. my men took out yours in the front pretty easily" he smirked at me, fidgeting with the gun in his hands. "you can’t bring a gun to a fist fight. thats why my men lost" one by one, i watched his men gather around him; all carrying guns. "this can go two ways" he said as he started walking towards me slowly "either it’ll just be the two of us and i’ll make it quick and painless, or ill have to bring my men on it and i guarantee that it’s gonna hurt" he was stood right in front of me while looking down on me with his head tilted slightly.
was sunghoon planning on killing me too? was he doing this because he somehow found out that i was planning on killing him first? there wasn’t enough time for me to think. right now i had to focus on just one thing, and that was to live. "did your men forget to take out the ones in the back too?" i watched the smirk on his lips disappear as my men started to gather around me as they had come in through the back. all though, they weren`t armed with guns like sunghoons men were which made me really nervous. sunghoon chuckled and began walking backwards until he was stood behind his men. i pulled the same move, which meant that our men were now gonna fight against each other to protect me and sunghoon.
"seems like you can’t face us without your guns" one of my men said who was stood in the very front. sunghoons men laughed, "let’s be fair about it then, shall we?" the sound of guns being thrown on the floor made me feel relieved. suddenly, the den exploded into chaos as our men went at each other with fists flying and bodies colliding. the men’s shouting and grunting filled the entire room while me and sunghoon were stood on each sides of the room watching them.
one of my men collapsed on the ground, but before he could get back up two men tripped over him which added to the pile of bodies that were already sprawled out across the floor. the den was a mess of sweaty, bloody, injured men that had mostly been beaten to death by each other. it went by faster than i expected, and worse than i expected. all that remained were either dead bodies or knocked out bodies with no one left standing except for me and sunghoon.
"what’s the matter princess? is this too much for you?" the sound of sunghoon’s voice brought me back to reality. i was distracted by the violent scene that was right in front of me. i took a deep breath, "nothing is too much for me" i said with my eyes looking straight at him from across the room. sunghoon looked at the gun in his hands before he threw it on the ground. "like my men said, lets be fair about it" he said, placing his hands in his pockets. "you can use the gun you know? i dont mind, since this will be your last fight after all.." the tension between us was heated. sunghoon only laughed at me, "give it all you’ve got baby" with each slow step, he was now walking towards me. "don’t call me that" i spat.
he paused dangerously close to me, our bodies almost making contact. "come on baby, don’t say that" he brought his hand up to my face, but i was quick to slap his hand away with mine. with no warning, sunghoon`s fist landed with a severse thud against my ribs and i felt the force knock my breath out of me. i whimpered when i was sent stumbling into a nearby table, gripping the edge of the table for balance. i wasted no time and launched myself back at him with a kick that grazed his shoulder. he let out a groan, quickly grabbing my leg and twisting it viciously.
i let out a cry as i fell to the floor. when sunghoon tried to get on top of me, i managed to wrench my leg free by kicking at his chest with my other foot. as he stumbled backwards, i got back up on my feet as fast as i could. we were both breathing heavily and our bodies were hot with sweat. "shit princess. you’re getting better at this" he panted, lifting his fists into the air. "thank you. it means a lot coming from you, oppa" i rushed forward, this time going low so i could tackle him. the second we both crashed onto the cold floor we started wrestled fiercly. our bodies were rolling on the floor as we tried to overpower each other.
suddenly, his hands found my neck. i felt his fingers squeezing as he pressed down. my eyes widened in panic and my hands quickly went flying to his wrists; clawing at them, desperate for air. i dug my nails into his skin until it started drawing blood. he hissed in pain and ended up loosening his grip just enough for me to shove him off. i started coughing and gasping for air before kicking him hard in his chest which caused him to also gasp for air when he felt himself not being able to breathe properly.
i charged at him once again, this time aiming my elbow at his face. he barley was able to block it with his forearm before i grabbed a fistful of his hair, yanking his head backwards. "fuck!" he groaned, retaliating by grabbing my own hair and pulling it so hard that tears started forming in my eyes. "a-ah!" i let out a shriek. we were both struggling while using the grip on each others hair to cause each other pain. with a sudden move, sunghoon yanked my head to the side and slammed my head into the wall causing my grip on his hair to loosen. my chest was rising and falling, my body sprawled out on the floor with my hair being a tangled mess. my head was pounding horribly and i couldnt bare the pain i was feeling in my body.
sunghoon took the chance and got on top of me. he leaned down with his face so close to mine that the tip of our noses were touching. i felt his heavy breath against my lips before slightly flinching at the feeling of metal against my temple. his eyes looked into mine, a smirk forming on his lips. "this is the end for you baby" he mumbled before he cocked the gun. sunghoon raised his eyebrows when i sniffled. our eyes were locked in an intense gaze. he clenched his jaw slightly, the gun in his hand shaking when he tried pressing it further into my temple. i stood still, watching every move that he was making.
"kiss me goodbye?" i said, almost sounding like a whisper. he froze like he couldnt believe what had just come out of my mouth. his grip on the gun loosened, just for a second as if he was questioning whether to kill me or not. he stared at me with his eyebrows furrowing in disbelief, unsure if i was joking or not. with the way i was looking into his eyes he could tell i was being serious when a tear rolled down my cheek. i leaned forward, my bloodied lips parting before they touched his. the kiss was soft as our lips moved together. i felt him deepening the kiss, parting his mouth as well. and with his lips still on mine, he pulled the trigger.
♡︎♡︎♡︎
i feel horrible i’m so sorry.. should i make it into a series orrr??
#enha x reader#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen#enha#enhypen sunghoon#sunghoon enhypen#sunghoon fanfic#park sunghoon#sunghoon
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I saw this really great thread on twitter by Grungygrim and it definitely highlights my thoughts and frustrations with the story of these games and the Splatoon fandom as a whole. (be forewarned, i get really tilted in this blog post fyi.)
I made a blog post about 2 weeks ago where i said that i was happy that the narrative online that "Callie is an idiot who got kidnapped and then brainwashed/mind controlled against her consent" is going away. (Here's the link: https://www.tumblr.com/dr-spectre/749710338672525312/im-so-happy-that-the-narrative-online-that?source=share)
Unfortunately I'm gonna have to retract a lot of the stuff i said. I'm still seeing, TILL THIS DAY THAT NARRATIVE ONLINE! IM STILL SEEING SO MUCH MISINFORMATION AND IT MAKES ME REALLYYYY ANGRYYYY!!! As a big fan of Callie, people completely outright ignoring her character arc THAT WAS SET UP SINCE SPLATOON 1 BY THE WAY!!! and not even bothering to look at outside sources for more information and lore genuinely pisses me the fuck off to no end.
No, hypnosis is NOT MIND CONTROL/BRAINWASHING! I DONT WANNA KEEP REPEATING IT! YOU CAN LOOK IT UP! if a person is genuinely uncomfortable and doesn't wish to take the suggestions to heart while hypnotized, THEY WONT DO SO! THEY STILL HAVE CONTROL! Yes, Marie did say "kidnapped" in some of her dialogue, but from her perspective, OF COURSE SHE'S GONNA THINK CALLIE GOT KIDNAPPED! She's known to worry about Callie all the time and ruminate about her, of course she's gonna think of the worst case scenario, doesn't mean she's right though. Was Octavio still in the wrong for hypnotizing Callie in the first place and allowing her to bring out her darker traits more easily? YEAH! NO SHIT! HE'S A BAD DUDE! Not a totally evil person but he has made some awful decisions out of desperation for his people. Why do you think he was so quick to help out the New Squidbeak Splatoon in the finale of Splatoon 3? His people got turned into fluffy monsters by a giant bear, he's all about helping his people.
Hell look at how Callie acts while under the Hypnoshades, she decorates Octo Canyon and her peppy and energetic self is still in tact even during the final boss, she's just more mean and violent. Callie was in an emotional and mentally unwell situation due to her overworking herself and being incredibly lonely as her relationship with Marie was damaged overtime. Callie accepted the suggestions of DJ Octavio and heard him out, AS SAID BY HER FROM THE RELATIONSHIP CHART! She wasn't forced into anything. She didn't suffer "sexual abuse" from Octavio by being forced into skippy clothing as some psychos say online, if she didn't want to wear that outfit she wouldn't cause hypnosis is NOT MIND CONTROL!! I hate having to repeat this over and over again, i hate how the developers basically rushed and ruined this interesting villain arc with stupid shades, only to try and hastily fix it later with an obscure post about A GOD DAMN RELATIONSHIP CHART THAT PEOPLE EITHER DONT KNOW ABOUT OR DONT CARE TO LOOK AT BECAUSE THEY SEE SPLATOON AS SOMETHING FOR KIDS AND TO NOT GIVE ANY CARE TOWARDS!!!!!!!!
I made a god damn giant blog explaining Callie in Splatoon 2 because i felt so frustrated about how my favorite character in the series was being treated and i tried to salvage the story that the writers tried to make. The way that people made her situation worse by saying she got kidnapped and forcibly ""mind controlled/brainwashed"" actually gave me chest pain, thinking about that kind of scenario for Callie actually hurts me... Heck i cant even listen to the Splatoon 2 stage music or final boss music because hearing her reversed vocals makes me feel uncomfortable due to the misinformation online. I hated all the misinformation and i wanted it to stop. HELL EVEN IN GIANT TIMELINE VIDEOS WHERE PEOPLE DO TONS OF RESEARCH THEY STILL GET IT WRONG!! UGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess it'll still be the common and popular notion that Callie is an idiot that got kidnapped and then ""mind controlled"" by some shades... oh well... ugh...
I'm sorry if I'm coming off as really angry, i am. It's just, my brain is really hyperfixated on this squid and she means a lot to me. Seeing the way the fandom as well as the writers treat her makes me really mad. I hope i can find some peeps who feel the same way as i do. Misinformation is so frustrating man... i dont even wanna get into the Octarians because that's a whole other can of worms... anyways im done ranting. have a good night or good morning wherever you live y'all.
#splatoon#splatoon 2#splatoon 3#callie cuttlefish#callie splatoon#rant post#complaining#sorry for the rant#octo callie#dj octavio#marie splatoon#marie cuttlefish#octo canyon
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2024 tbhk x reader writers gang UP !!!! I'd like to request for Teru, Akane, and Lemon x reader who's very...open? Like they have a out of pocket humour, says the most inappropriate jokes in the wrong time (the sc president/teacher almost caught them 😔) and isn't afraid to be chaotic. Being with them somehow never becomes boring because theres always some shit going on (like almost falling off a building or getting involved with the cops) BOY are they special. Just Akane is fine if you dont feel like writing for 3 people but either way thank you v much🙏
(Extra scenes:
Akane: how to get red dye?
Reader: idk period blood
Akane: *jaw drops to the floor*
--------
Reader: *telling the wildest inappropriate gossip ever*
Teru who heard and is standing right behind them:
-------
Lemon and reader: *had a 1 hour deep talk with lemon sitting on a bench*
Reader, about to leave: oh and btw, that bench was newly painted *walks away*
HIII YES OF COURSEEEEE I HOPE THIS IS OKAY I really tried my best on it! And I wrote this at 2 am I hope this satisfies 😭🩷
————————————————————————
With a reader who makes out of pocket jokes
Featuring: Akane, Lemon and Teru!
Akane
- Blushes when you say something inappropriate towards him no questions asked
- This one time he was teaching how to make origami and you said something inappropriate
- He paused for a good minute and scared at you, gawking with wide eyes and blushing
- “Okay so you’re gonna wanna fold this part here” “Shit I wish I was that piece of paper so you could fold me” “…I’m sorry?”
- There be times where you would just ask him questions, questions such as for example what part of the day was his favourite
- “Akane question?” “Shoot” “what time of day is your favourite?” “night time!” “Great so me, you, tonight, in my bed.” “…”
- he blushed and tried to say something but literally failed, he stuttered so much he just honestly gave up.
- Like sometimes you whisper things in his ear n he’d just stare and gawk at you in disbelief
- You toyed with him once while he was speaking to Teru and he tried so hard to not blush or make it look like he was flustered
- News flash, he failed.
- Teru was laughing at his ass afterwards
- or times where you were whispering the most jaw dropping shit into his ear and Teru heard it all and saw he’s reaction as well
- Teru never let him live it DOWN
Teru
- Will stare at you in disbelief and will quite literally say “I beg your pardon?”
- He once was painting something for the school with a bucket of white paint and to make things worse it fell on him
- He called you and asked you for help
- and what did you say? “Teru is that cu-“ “Get out.” “WAIT IM SORRY”
- There’s been so many times where you whispered the most jaw dropping shit into his ear and his giving you the biggest “I’m sorry?” ass look
- You actually told him some good ass drama and he listened to the whole thing while even gawked here n there because of the OUTRAGEOUS things he’s been hearing
- He’s lowkey willing to give Akane his work load just to here the things you tell him
- “Psst… Teru.” “Hm?” “Are you a trampoline? Because I’d really like to bounce on you.”
- *Queue you sprinting out the room as he’s at his desk so lost at weither he should be shocked or appreciate what you said and take it like a compliment
- “I…. what?…” “Y/n-“ “…..”
- Akane having heard that just giving you and him the most judgemental look ever
Lemon
- You tell him the most jaw dropping drama n he handles it like nothing
- You jokes just make him pause for a good second and then resume back to what he was doing
- you once whispered into his ear “you tryna bounce that ass for me?”
- he just stopped scrolling on TikTok and did a slow turn to look at you with the most judgmental look
- “No… I’m not…”
- You two literally hear drama and gossip with each other and if you guys hear the drama together, you two are looking at each other n gawking bc what did I just hear?
- He’s on his phone a lot so when you say something out of pocket he just pauses what he was doing n stares at you for like a few seconds or a minute
- Sometimes he even says out of pocket things to you as well n sometimes you do blush, same with him
- you two literally gossip to each other the most craziest things ever
- if you try to embarrass him n whispering UNHINGED shit in his ear, he’ll do the same to you but worse
- I can confirm you one had a battle about it
- of course he won because the shit he says is way worse then the shit you say
- “Hey babe where did the red die go?” “Idk check your pad.”
- You were so dumbfounded that you paused n blinked at him
- “shit… he beat me too it”
———————————
- All n all awesome bfs 👍
DONT FORGET THE CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP TO 18+ NO WORRIES 🩷
#tbhk x reader#akane aoi x reader#teru minamoto x reader#teru x reader#lemon x reader#lemon yamabuki#Yamabuki lemon x Reader#tbhk#tbhk headcanons#akane aoi#akane x reader#teru minamoto#yamabuki lemon
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tried going to bed early bc ive just been sitting staring at the wall or my phone all afternoon but it's been 3 hours now and I can't stop crying. :(
#I dont even know why im so fucking sad. this last week has felt like getting hit by a train repeatedly for no reason whatsoever#and it fucking hurts so bad and i cant fix it because i dont know whats wrong!!!!!!#i think thsts why its been so hard sleeping lately like my brain is problem solving but theres nothing there to be solved#and i dont even have anyone to talk to about it and even if i did i wouldnt have anything to say bc i dont know im just fucking. sad#like yeah ive gotten upset abt other things but thats me projecting my mental state onto everything. theres no original cause#unless it really is just pms and some hormonal shit which is likely but kinda insane to think abt. like yeah my body has decided#to flood the entire fucking system with Kill That Egg™ for a straight week except its too effective and makes me want to kill myself also#but apparently not fucking effective enough to start my actual fucking period. yippee#i want a thousand year long hug and to cry rly snottily into someones shirt and then to fall asleep and wake up feeling rested#man. nothing makes me feel any different. exercising and sleeping and socialising and eating and showering and reading#and i can feel my interest in things trickling away like i havent been able to do a lot of shit i rly want to bc of this barrier#and ive been trying to make myself do some things regardless bc inactivity will just make it worse. but nothing works!!!!!!!#i dont even know anymore man. i do everything right and im still as depressed as i was like 8 years ago#and i know thats just the depressed brain talking like i know i dont constantly feel like this but its hard to see outside of it man#u spend ur whole life drowning but its ok bc sometimes u get ur head above the surface long enough to take a breath or whatever#insert overused mentally ill metaphor here etcetcetc#ok i think ive run out of things to say im gonna try sleep again. day 1 billion of making longass vent posts sorry everyone#gn#.vent
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Bella ramsey x reader and the reader like leaves hickies on bella without them realizing and bella goes to set/ an interview with it and Pedro makes fun of them
hickeys, bella ramsey
masterlist pairing: bella ramsey x fem!reader summary: you leave hickeys on bella and when she shows up to an interview with them, pedro makes fun of them word count: 1k warnings: suggestive themes (reference to previous smut), language, pedro annoying bella, but mostly a lot of fluff a/n: bellie and pedge have my whole heart. i used she/her pronouns for the reader since you didn’t specify which you preferred, lmk if you want me to change it. also, im sorry it took so long (writer's block is a bitch) and if it seems like it’s on crack, its probably cause i was listening to queen shaki and lana del ray while writing this… <3
you wake up to the morning light, a lazy smile making its way on your face as you roll over to see Bella choosing out some rings from your small jewelry box.
“good morning sleepy,” they say, looking over at you with a smile as you get up to sit criss-cross applesauce on the edge of your shared bed.
“g’morin’,” you say, eyes still half closed and reaching out towards Bella.
they walk into your arms, their own wrapping around you.
“you sleep well?” they ask, pressing a kiss to your forehead, knowing how much morning breath kisses bothered you.
you nod against them, leaning further into their touch, “you?”
“mhm,” they hum in agreement, pulling away from you to finish getting ready.
you take in the outfit that they had chosen for their day full of interviews, starting from the black jeans that fit them way too well, up to the black and white button-up with green accents, which was technically yours.
“pretty,” you say, sleep still clear in your voice as you slightly drag on the e.
“thank you, babe,” they say, and your eyes trail up to their face to see their smile grow, but something else catches your eyes and makes you do a double take.
“um, Bells?” you say, awake now, with wide eyes, and you can feel your face getting hot.
“yeah?” they say in response.
“um…” you start to say, but words escape you.
“what's wrong?” they ask as they take in your embarrassed state.
“your- um- well- i- just come here,” you say, getting up and walking over to the bathroom as they follow you, concern clearly written on their face.
“what is it?” they ask, and you simply point at the mirror, watching their face, carefully, as they look at where you're pointing.
their eyes widen, and their jaw drops in amusement as they take in the trail of purple and red marks starting at their neck and going down under the shirt.
they start to laugh, and you hide your face in your hands.
“i’m sorry, i-” you start to apologize before Bella cuts you off.
“no, don’t say sorry, i should be the one apologizing, yours are way worse,” they say with a soft but teasing smile as you finally take your face out of your hands to look at yourself in the mirror.
you take in the matching marks left by Bella all over your neck, and when you pull the neck of your hoodie down slightly, you see more marks littered all over your collarbone. you bring your other hand up to gently trace over them.
“gorgeous, gorgeous girl,” they whisper as they walk behind you, wrapping their arms around your waist and pressing feather-like kisses on the bruises that were starting to form.
“but you have interviews all day, and now you’re gonna have to be in makeup forever,” you say, turning around to face Bella, their arms still holding you close to them.
“it’s okay,” they say with a laugh, and when you look up at them, they mumble under their breath, “i kind of like them anyway.”
a shit-eating grin makes its way on your face as you laugh softly. “well if anyone gives you shit for them, it's not my fault.”
“what do you mean! of course it is!”
“i dunno,” you shrug, “it's just not.”
“well, you’re clearly not fully awake yet,” Bella says, giving you a small kiss, “i left you breakfast, but i have to go right now, or i’ll be yelled at even more.”
“no, don't leave me yet!” you whine as you hold Bella tighter, and they press another kiss on your temple.
“i know, i don’t wanna, but i have to,” they say, and you finally let them go.
“i love you,” they call out as they grab their stuff and start walking out.
“i love you more,” you respond.
“not possible,” they say as they close the door behind them, leaving a smile on your face.
⭒⭒⭒
when Bella arrives at the interview site, they are immediately rushed into hair and makeup as they scold them for the visible marks on their neck.
“Bella, what the fuck!” their makeup artist, Tori, complains as she starts grabbing concealer and foundation in an attempt to cover them up.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry! blame my girlfriend!” Bella whines.
“you’re just lucky that you’re already dressed,” Tori mutters under her breath, and as she starts to apply the first of many layers of makeup, the door to the room opens up.
“Bellie!” Pedro yells when he walks in, acting as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.
“hey Ped-” Bella starts to say but gets cut off by a gasp coming out of his mouth.
“shit Bella, your neck,” he says in shock as Bella hides their face in their hands, causing Tori to roll her eyes.
“i know, i know, blame her, not me,” Bella says, referring to you, as Tori moves their head to the side.
“oh, i highly doubt that,” he says, laughing harder by the second as Bella’s face starts to get red.
“what's that supposed to mean?”
“that knowing both of you, the poor girl is probably ten times worse.”
“Pedro!”
“am i wrong?”
“well-”
“am i?”
“...no.”
“see!”
“whatever,” Bella groans as they roll their eyes and throw their head back.
“let’s just hope that makeup covers all of that up, 'cause little Bellie went to town last night,” he says, laughing again as Tori nods in agreement.
Bella turns to flip Pedro off, but Tori quickly slaps their hand away and tugs their head back to the side, making Pedro let out another laugh, which causes Bella to cross their arms.
⭒⭒⭒
it takes some time to get them both ready, but once they are, Bella turns to Pedro.
“just... don’t tell Craig,” they say, holding out their pinky to Pedro, and he links them together, nodding, as they walk out to meet Craig and Neil.
“hey, Craig!” Pedro yells as they get closer, “guess what Bell-”
“PEDRO! NO!” Bella yells in distress, and Pedro just crackles and leans in toward them.
“man child,” Bella mutters under their breath as they roll their eyes, fondly.
#bella ramsey#bella ramsey x reader#bella ramsey fluff#bella ramsey fanfiction#bella ramsey fanfic#bella ramsey x you#bella ramsey imagine#pedro pascal#bellie and pedge#pedro and bella#the last of us#anon request#lgbtq
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Update: I have now been proven to be a real person lol
The woman who is basically a second mom to my girlfriend doesn't think I'm real and it's absolutely fucking hysterical oh my god
#i met her her husband and one of her kids last night and it apparently went well#i briefly met her before the concert and then we all hung around and talked for like 45 minutes after#she was so sweet and told my girlfriend that i was lovely which is incredible and im happy to hear that she approves#and her daughter/ my girlfriend's friend was super sweet and i feel like we got on pretty well#oh and it was cute because she playfully gave my girlfriend a little bit of shit for not intruding us sooner#and she got told that she needed to bring me over to their house soon so that definitely made me feel good#like this woman is the mother of my girlfriend's ex and could very easily not like me because of it#but my god neither she nor her daughter made me feel weird or unwelcomed or like an outsider#it genuinely felt like they immediately were accepting me into their lives and im happy it went so well#i mean im still nervous as fuck that i somehow fucked things up or that it actually went bad and everyone hates me#but my girlfriend was very kind and reassuring and im trying my best to remember that they have absolutely no reason to lie to me about that#im am still pretty nervous to met my girlfriend's ex though#because like idk how to deal with a situation in which i have to talk to a person who loved and fucked my girlfriend before i did#that shit seems awkward as fuck lol#but i knew this day would come eventually because they told me they were still friends super early in our relationship#so at least im not being blindsided by it#plus she is and has been in a relationship since before me and my girlfriend started dating#and my girlfriend is friends with her exes new partner which im not gonna lie is literally the first time ive thought about that holy shit#oh my god how did i never fucking realize that my girlfriend is and has been going through the exact same thing holy fuck???#okay holy shit actually that realization has made me reframe literally everything#okay well maybe not exactly the same but pretty goddamn close#we've been together for 10 months and I never internalize that my girlfriend has been friends with her exes new partner#but what i was gonna say before that realization hit was that her being friends with her ex and her exes new partner makes me feel better#because i think if their ex was single I'd probably feel a lot worse about the whole situation#but hey I love this person more than most things in this world and would do almost anything for them#which i guess includes dealing with some awkward situations occasionally#and I'm more than willing to take that deal#because my god even as we're coming out of the honeymoon phase I am still so incredibly in awe with her
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Can you do yandere canada and russia after they stop their darling from escape with a bit of violence like broken bone? Like how they treat y/n after that
Yandere Canada and Russia after breaking his darling's leg. (to stop them escaping)
would it be bad to say im excited to write this? idk. i got to thinking and decided i'll go with a broken leg if ya don't mind, sorry. also, sorry again for taking so long. and also like, sorry if this sucks ass??.. i didnt pass writing class if you can tell. but uhh.. ya, this is probably really bad so im sorry. :( another note: I JUST FUCKING REALIZED THAT THIS WAS PROBABLY A REQUEST FOR AFTERWARDS OH MY GOD IM STUPID I WAS GONNA WRITE THE WHOLE PROCESS AND SHIT😭 I NEVER READ SHIT ALL THE WAY ISTG
tw: violence, broken bones, abuse, force feeding, similar stuff
!! yandere content. if you can't handle any behavior possibly seen in a yandere please don't read this. !! (example; obsessive, stalkery, possessive, violent, or generally horrid behaviour.)
Canada
Canada honestly hated having to do this, but he really felt like he had to. That and he was just really pissed. Like a lot. Like screaming, hitting, and punching type pissed. But, again, doesn't like seeing you hurt.
After he absolutely destroyed your lower calf and beat you for a while he spent a minute staring at you, a bit in a daze, until eventually suddenly snapping out it and quickly bringing you home to properly care for the damage he has afflicted upon you.
He was way gentle afterwards, bandaging and disinfecting the wounds with much care and as thuroughly as possible. Though, it was clear he wasn't just going to let this off the hook with the way he decided to directly tie you to a hook on the wall, with very little wiggle room and no way to move more than maybe a foot.
Your progress in all the freedom you acquired was not only reset, but even worse than where you first got here. It's uncomfortable, even with the pilow he provided you. You're no longer allowed to have your hands free in general, and he has to feed you instead of letting you do it yourself. When you need to use the restroom you have two minutes in there until he starts asking what you're doing in there.
It wasn't really all that painful though outside of the ache of the previous abuse he made you endure. That and the occasional ache from the limitted positions you have at your disposal, don't worry though. Every three days he'll switch your spot so you'll at the very least have a different view to look at. In general, he isn't the worst to have, but definitely not the quickest to forget. You'll be stuck doing this for another month or two before he even considers giving you the slightest of freedoms.
Russia
Ivan is not nearly as lenient as Canada. Hell, after he beats the life out of you, probably breaking more than just your leg, he decides to lock you up in the basement—the cold, empty basement. He drags you to the stairs, shoves you down, and locks the door before ditching you for the next day or so.
Eventually, though, he returns, purely to ensure you don't die. You've been bad, but he'd never want you dead. It would be a lonely world without you by his side. His hands roughly push you around as he wraps you up in bandages and drenches your wounds, rubbing the stuff off with a washcloth afterward. He forces you to be tied up in a position where the majority of your bones will heal correctly, besides the leg. If the leg is messed up, that'll make any future attempts all the harder for you, which is what he wants.
Once he's done with that, it'll be another two days. No food, no water, no warmth, no him. Just sitting in the basement without pain medicine, starving, perhaps freezing, as he does nothing to help you with frostbite or hypothermia. Though, as expected, he returns yet again, and this time with food. The force-feeding will be rough, and you'll likely choke a couple of times, but honestly, it's better than you having been starving earlier.
This will be your life for two or so weeks, rotting in the basement, with your only human interaction being when you need to eat or maybe even for the restroom. The good news, though, is that Russia isn't a very patient man. Even if he's frustrated, he misses you a lot. So you'll be freed rather quickly compared to Canada, funny enough. Or at least, freed from the basement, that is.
Don't take this as him forgetting, though. Oh no, he remembers. You're only this lucky because he loves you, okay? You'll never know any of the freedoms you might've had in the past, and you're pretty much stuck with being tied or trapped for the rest of your miserable life. The only thing that'll really change is just the quality of how he'll treat you, the comfort in which you'll be provided, and your setting. So have fun, dear reader, and good luck. You'll need it.
#yandere hetalia#yandere aph canada#yandere canada#yandere hws canada#canada x reader#aph canada x reader#hetalia x reader#yandere russia#yandere aph russia#yandere hws russia#russia x reader#aph russia x reader#hws canada x reader#hws russia x reader
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i have more. i also see him as a mean service dom yk. like his sole pleasure comes from your pleasure, but you’ve got to earn it yk. you can’t be acting like no bitch, acting out on the streets and expect him to give you whatever. like yea yea, he spoils you but not too much. he doesn’t need his baby girl turning into a nasty brat. he’d most definitely stuff his cock down your throat while your on your knees and a vibrator is stuffed between your legs at the lowest setting. he’s already defiled your tits by cumming all over them but he’s not done. he needs to stretch your throat out. teach you a good lesson for talking all that shit. it’s not your fault you always have a lot to say. like, how can he possibly blame you. you just have a big mouth. and a big ego. you’ve yet to apologise for your deploring attitude and he’s gonna make sure you learn your lesson. he doesn’t care how long it takes, he can sit here and edge you all night if he needs to. hell, he’ll leave you a whole week without his addictive dick, he couldn’t give a flying fuck. and if you think you’re stubborn, he’s ten times worse trust and believe. he’s squishing your cheeks against his cock as your silently pleading he’ll give in and let you ruin the floors with your cum but he is soo not gonna give in. he’s gonna use you like your nothing. he loves you dearly but he’ll fuck you like he hates you.
im soo hungry for his cock rn.😕 and im listening to ayesha erotica which isn’t helping so☠☠☠☠
#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel x black reader smut#miguel x black reader#miguel o'hara#across the spiderverse#spiderman smut#into the spider verse#spidervere smut#smut
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this line in the description for Yellowjackets really gets to me. "25 years later, they discover that what began in the wild is far from over." time and time again im just struck by how effective this show is at saying exactly what it feels like to go through life as a woman. you still have this girl inside you who is wild and childish and scared. she doesn't know how to move her body she doesn't know how to ask for what she wants she's a freak she's an idol she's a mess she's a messiah she's a witch and a wicked little beast she's the best friend a girl could have. but it's time to be an Adult Woman now! congratulations, you're out of the woods! we know that was confusing and traumatic for you but rest assured thats all done. maybe you'll have a husband and a teenager of your own maybe you'll be a politician maybe you're going to run a mlm. it doesnt matter, just make sure you're unrecognizable from the wild animal you were. you're supposed to be unrecognizable. you're supposed to have it together, you're supposed to be boring. strawberry lube is for bisexuals and goths. and teenagers. Please be more boring. this Whole Thing this whole charade of adulthood doesn't work if you don't keep it together. grow up! so you do. for a while it sticks. your family is doing fine, your career is doing fine, your meds are working fine, maybe you've been to a few rehabs but this last one was going fine. and 25 years later you look around at the not-real life you're supposed to want to be a part of, the one you put together exactly as per the instructions, and you realize... it doesnt end. you aren't out of the woods you're just stranded in a different part of them. you probably have another 25 years to go, minimum. "I think shit is gonna get a lot worse out here." your life is far from over but you can't keep living it like this. numbing yourself with substances to make it tolerable, or going full speed ahead toward something you don't even really want just to prove you're Doing It you're Assimilating, or feeling insane for still being haunted by 'ancient' history that really didn't happen that long ago, or cooking a fucking meatloaf for the husband that doesn't get you and the daughter that doesn't want to. if you're going to survive the monotony of adulthood the way you survived the chaos of adolescence, you're going to have to get wild again. you're going to have to go back. because the wilderness can be terrifying with its harsh elements its cruel indifference its lurking predators and blah blah blah but do you want to know what's even scarier? that endless stretch in all directions of sameness. stump, tree, stream, moss. stump, tree, stream, moss. have we passed this way already, have we taken this route before? tree tree tree tree tree for miles and miles and miles. that is the wild, too. unending. repetitive. barren. where it ends, so do you. it lasts your whole life, and it's far from over. you've got to find a way to survive it. again.
#for instance somewhere inside me is still a college girl who loves to write papers on film analysis and comparative essays#and yellowjackets is letting me let that feral goblin out of the sack for a bit#otherwise I'd wither and die in the monotony#yellowjackets#natalie scatorccio#shauna shipman#taissa turner#lottie matthews#misty quigley#van palmer
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL WIFE IZAYA ORIHARA!!!!!!! 🥰😘👨❤️💋👨😭😎🔥🫶🩷
i can't quite put into words what exactly izaya has meant to me over the past 8 years. one, it sounds really corny and i go off into at least 30 different tangents about all the little things that make him so endearing to me, but also i just dont really know how to sound eloquent and stuff. that being said, a lot of the person i am today is (for better or for worse) thanks to izaya, so i think if i leave it at that you can at least get it a little bit. ^_^
i was really excited to set this year's display up. i changed the room i used this time, since i got a new desk, and it was...kind of a challenge at first, but after moving around a bunch of furniture and whatnot, i made it work...!
i had to forego putting up a few other things... namely the rest of my bromides and postcards, but also all my shikishi. i need to invest in some way to display them... i also had two(!!) dakimakura... i had to leave out this year. </3 and the cardboard cutout i made when i was 16. 😭
as usual, i have a lot of stuff to say about this entire thing and the stuff around it, so i... will leave my rambling under the cut. (^□^)
my god putting this thing together was hell. i said 'challenge' earlier no this shit was like a fucking war omfg. the clear files kept falling i was miserable and praying to god (im not even religious). and then i had to tape behind the big izaya balloon poster cause it's covering my doorway and it kept getting pulled back to the door...? and it looked stupid. 🤦♂️ i wasn't originally gonna put the tables in here either. i really wanted to be able to fit the bed sheets on the walls. but i couldn't... and i needed more room to put the pillows and stuff, so it ended up working out perfectly.
(the only reason i didn't want to use tables was cause i didn't want something covering up izaya's sexy exposed feet in the china poster... 😟)
i was (finally) gonna get a cake this year, but after having the stress of two exams back to back this week and exams next week, i...was too exhausted lol. hopefully next year i won't have an awful overnight job or school making me miserable. (as if i'm not still gonna be a student next year☠)
the amount of durarara merch that's come out the past few years has left me feeling so spoiled... i hope they do a mail order for the 20th anni merch... i want all the izaya stuff without the crazy markups from resellers online🤬
also plz don't judge my toploader deco skills too much... i am not very experienced... and i also don't have a lot of stickers to work with... 🥺
at any rate... at this exact time last year, i was suffering inside the confines of my local walmart... i was working overnight, and my break was at 12am, so as soon as it hit, i ran out to my car to excitedly celebrate the date changing to may 4th...!
and then during my lunch break, i drove to the whataburger next door and did another 10-pull on the izaya birthday kuji while in the drivethru.
i didn't realize this until i started taking stuff down in my room (this is my bedroom... i can't realistically keep two large tables in here and a poster covering my doorway. i had to crawl under the table just to get in and out. my knees still hurt.), but... i actually forgot something i wanted to include... my izaya lightstick... 💔💔💔 it's okay. i will live. i'm happy with my setup as a whole so i have no qualms with this. i just need to make sure i don't make the same mistake next year.
on a (slightly) unrelated note, yesterday (may 3) was the 19th birthday of my favorite album ever from my favorite band ever, fall out boy's from under the cork tree! i was so happy when i found out it's right before izaya's birthday cause fall out boy as a whole has so many izaya coded lyrics it's crazy. (btw, their debut album tttyg came out on the 6th as well...!)
and then tomorrow is cinco de mayo... it's not a coincidence... latina izaya truthers rise up...
anyways...! i'm finally learning how to draw properly. the reason i was always so miserable when i tried before was cause i never knew what i was doing. i didn't know where to start from. because...i didn't use references...so hopefully i can draw something cute for izaya's birthday next year. ^_^
that's all i have to say...! i woke up early this (yesterday) morning at 9am so i could be there at 10am when midnight hit in japan, and it's already 3am on the 4th, so i'm exhausted lol...
i was so excited seeing all the izaya bday fanart on twitter though. all the beautiful artists making beautiful art...
but i've spoken too much now. sorry. i'm going to spend the rest of my night listening to fall out boy before i eventually pass out. bye bye !!!! ^_^
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