#or if portraying something in media is the same as condoning it

[shalvis]

I think tumblr isn’t the place to discuss and debate on big topics actually. I think the place to discuss these things should be with people you trust or maybe with classmates at college or something. I think bringing heavy topics up online is a huge mistake.

[sunshine-daisies-library]

staged romance | luke hemmings x actress!reader

summary: when you get the role of a lifetime, luke struggles to support you when he finds out who your scripted love interest is 

word count: 10.8k

warnings: misogyny, arguments, drinking, jealousy, swearing, mentions of cheating, angst

author’s note: the title of the movie/book and the show were smth i made up on the fly so it’s not to be affiliated w other books/movies that are called that lol, it’s all a coincidence. this is also not proofread!

second author's note: the last bit was rushed in the end but let me be clear! my intent was to portray a loving realistic relationship with healthy communication of feelings and borders. of course, things like that are tough to convey in a one-shot alone. talks of jealousy and cheating is heavily mentioned throughout the text, but it is not my intent to make luke appear toxic or y/n seem unfaithful. the two are in a healthy relationship that gets plagued by jealousy, insecurities, and stupid social media! i, in no way, shape, or form, condone toxic relationships and try my best to let that show in my writing. please consult a trusted loved one if you are experiencing a toxic relationship. i love yall and hope the best!

happy reading lovelies <3

“I’m sure you boys are incredibly busy now more than ever,” the interviewer said, referring to the band’s many new surprises in store. “I can’t help but wonder what you guys are most excited about.”

Luke was nodding along to the woman, barely paying attention and silently hoping for the interview to end faster. Ashton had always teased Luke for having a blank stare during these interviews and the fans have caught on, too, but he couldn’t help being bored talking about the same things over and over again. 

“So busy,” Michael agreed, taking the reins on the question. “We’ve got new music coming out, we’ve been working nonstop to release them and film music videos, too. Not to mention our tour coming up in a couple of months. But to speak for the boys, I think we’re all pretty excited to have our music featured in a movie.” 

Ashton was quick to chime in. “Yeah, we’ve worked real hard on this one, we were in the studio for hours trying to perfect it and we hope we did the movie justice.” 

The interviewer shifted through her binder of notes and questions. “It’s safe to say everyone is stoked to hear it in theaters,” she concluded. “But the question that’s been on everyone’s minds is, Luke, how do you feel about writing a song for a movie your girlfriend is the face of? Could you walk us through that process?” 

Calum quietly nudged Luke in the side, bringing his attention to the woman sitting before them. “Oh yeah,” Luke coughed, readjusting his posture in his chair. “I’m super excited to help bring this story to life, it’s been a real journey to go through the entire process of it all. I’m especially proud of y/n for getting the lead role, it’s been a dream of hers to get this far and I’m so lucky to have her in my life and watch her grow as an actress.” 

“Aw,” Ashton leaned into his mic, making the boys laugh. “So cute.” 

“Very cute,” Luke retorted with a small smile. “She’s great and definitely deserves this role; she’s worked so hard on it and it really shows on the screen. As for the music, I agree with Ash when he said we worked our asses off on it. y/n definitely put in a lot of input on this one, not actually, but she was a great inspiration throughout the writing and producing process.”

Michael grinned at his friend, picking up his mic. “He’s downplaying it,” he quipped. “When the producer reached out to us to write something up for the movie, Luke was really into it. I mean reading through the tidbit that the producer sent us, rereading the book the movie was based on, all of it. Out of the four of us, Luke was really the one who took the wheel on this project and y/n was a big part of the reason why.” 

Luke turned red at Michael’s explanation, but it was true. He was ecstatic to hear they wanted 5 Seconds of Summer to add to their soundtrack, and he was even more excited to hear it was for the very movie you just received the lead role for. You both found out the news on the same day and were over the moon excited. 

“I got the part!” you yelled, running down the hall to Luke’s office with Petunia following close behind you. “Babe! I got the part-”

Luke swung the door open, a look of disbelief on his face. “They want us to write a song for the movie,” he announced. 

Your eyes were wide at his news. In an instant, you jumped into his arms and he caught you, spinning you around as you both let out shouts of joy. Luke peppered kisses down your face and neck, anywhere he could reach, in pride. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” he told you earnestly. “I’m so so proud of you. You earned this!” 

“We earned this,” you corrected him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling into a kiss.

“Guilty,” Luke sheepishly admitted to the interviewer. “I love my girl, what can I say?”

The woman let out a chuckle before getting back into the interview. “All the fans are happy to hear that,” she told him. “Last question and it’s for Luke again;  so Michael said that you read the book for “What Lies Between Us,” and so you probably know that there are a couple explicit scenes in there, particularly between the lead and her love interest, played by Harry Styles. We all are very aware of your past with One Direction, having toured with them and gaining your fame through the tours. How do you feel about your girlfriend and friend coming together for these intimate scenes?” 

The boys “oohed” immaturely as Luke blushed, shaking his head. You had already told him there would be scenes like that in the movie, not because he was jealous or would prevent you from doing them, but just to be open with him. After a discussion, the both of you were on the same page about the scenes, agreeing that it’s just work and holds no value offset. 

“Yeah, n/n told me about them,” Luke chuckled, taking a sip of water. “And I don’t have anything to say about them. y/n is a great actress and so is Harry. They’re respectable workers and take their job seriously. I trust them both, not that that matters.” 

“Well said,” the interviewer applauded. “So even beyond the explicit scenes, do you mind that they will be portraying lovers throughout the film?” 

Luke set his water on the ground. “I mean, who doesn’t love Harry Styles, he’s handsome,” he joked playfully. Luke’s crystal blue eyes stared deeply into the camera. “No, I don’t mind at all. It’s all for the movie. Styles may have my girl in the morning and afternoons, but at night she’s mine to hold to sleep.” 

–

Luke entered the bedroom, sighing loudly as he hunched over to throw off his shirt. You had been laying there waiting for his arrival home, reading over your agenda and going over your lines in your pajamas under the covers. Petunia was sleeping soundly at the foot of your bed, unbothered by his usual antics. 

“You’re home late,” you mused, setting your pen down. “Everything okay, bub?” 

Luke moaned and groaned while kicking off his dress pants and replacing them with his more comfortable pair of sweatpants, eventually falling face down onto the bed. You giggled at his dramatics, your hand going to play through his blond curls. He relaxed at your touch as he reached for your hand and kissed it softly. 

“Do you think Harry is more handsome than me?” he asked, eyes peering up at yours. 

You raised your eyebrows curiously. “Do you want the answer of a 1D fan since high school or the answer of your loving girlfriend?” you joked. You and Luke both knew how deep your love for One Direction was as a teenager. He loved to tease you about your posters and t-shirts, not to mention the Harry Styles cardboard cutout you received as a birthday present one year.

Luke let out another grumble as he rolled onto his back. You scooted forward to rest his head on your lap. “Both,” he decided. 

You hummed, resuming your twirling of Luke’s hair. “Well as your girlfriend,” you began. “I think you are the most handsome man to ever walk this planet.” 

“And the 1D fan?” he begrudgingly asked.

You took your finger and softly traced along the bridge of his nose, trailing down to his jawline. “I think Harry Styles is very very handsome,” you answered. Watching Luke scrunch his nose in childish jealousy, you leaned in closer. “But I think the lead vocalist of the band that opened for One Direction was way better looking, sweeter, and all around so much better,” you whispered as though you were letting him in on a secret. 

Luke pushed you away, sighing loudly once again as you threw your head back in laughter. “That’s the girlfriend speaking!” he whined. 

“We’re one and the same, Lu,” you scolded playfully, reaching for your boyfriend. “Just because my seventeen year old self was too obsessed with Harry doesn’t mean I don’t love you and find you all the more attractive now.” 

Luke let out an unconvincing huff, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What’s gotten into you, bub?” you asked, concern taking over your curiosity. 

“The interview was all about you and the movie today,” he responded, tucking himself into bed and taking his spot beside you, nestled warmly in your chest. 

You snorted, resting your hand back into his hair. Not only were his curls extremely soft at the touch and soothing to play with, you knew -while he would never admit it aloud- Luke loved when you played with his hair. “Didn’t realize I was a tough topic to talk about,” you jested. 

Luke rolled over so he was practically laying half of his body on yours. “Nooo,” he said, voice muffled by your shirt. “You know I love to talk about you, baby. It’s just I got a question about you and Harry being love interests.” 

You stiffened, clearly caught off guard. “Oh,” you could only muster out. 

The musician nodded, burying himself into your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist. “People can be so annoying sometimes,” he huffed in frustration. “Why would I care if my girlfriend is playing Harry Styles’ love interest? It’s not like it changes anything between us or between me and Harry.”

“It’s because people are misogynistic and gross,” you explained with an equally upset frown. “Just because I’m a woman in the film industry, they think I’m going to fling myself at any man I act with. It was the same for my last movie. I don’t understand why people are so quick to judge and point fingers.” 

Luke lifted his chin and cupped your cheek affectionately. “I’m so sorry this is what you have to deal with everyday,” he apologized. “It’s bullshit, and I’ve made it crystal clear that you should be respected and valued for your work, not who you kiss or whatever on the screens.” 

“You can always shut down the questions if they ask you,” you reminded him. “You don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable.”

Luke bit his lip in thought, a habit you found adorable and mesmerizing to watch. “But I’d rather answer these questions and stop the narrative about actresses and showmances. It’s not fair for you guys to be scrutinized about your love lives and image while male actors never get those kinds of questions.” 

Your lips trembled in awe of Luke’s small rant. You had never felt so loved and appreciated by the man like you did right now. He was ever a gentleman in a world of childish boys. “You know I love you, right?” you asked him with a tearful smile. 

Luke raised his thumb to the corner of your eyes to wipe away a stray tear. “It’s the bare minimum to support my girl,” he told you. “I love you, too, baby.”

Settling back down under the covers with your lover, you rested your head on top of his. “You don’t have to worry about me and Harry,” you reassured him. “It’s strictly business between us, and he’s aware of that.” 

“I’m not worried,” Luke said, his eyes fluttering closed. “Get some sleep, love. You got an early morning ahead of you.” 

–

The next morning, you woke up refreshed with your boyfriend still fast asleep beside you. You smiled to yourself, taking a mental image of the singer nestled beside you. His arm was snug around your waist and his nose was buried in your chest, a normal routine you’ve found the both of you falling into when he was home from tours. What you hated the most was ending said routine when you had to wake up before him for filming. 

You slowly removed his arm and slid out from under the sheets, trying to not wake him. Of course, ever the heavy sleeper, Luke remained asleep, taking one of your pillows as an adequate replacement for you. You quietly began your morning routine of brewing coffee for yourself, brushing your teeth, and styling your hair. Petunia followed behind you, being the momma’s girl she was. You let her go outside as you got started on preparing breakfast. Normally, you’d make breakfast and coffee for two but you were called for an earlier shoot, barely before sunrise, so Luke would no doubt be asleep for a while.

Finished with breakfast and giving Petunia her required pets and kisses, you went back upstairs to get dressed for the day. You thought you had been relatively quiet, but nonetheless the singer woke up to you, half dressed, on the other side of the room.

“What a sight for sore eyes,” his raspy voice praised.

You turned your head around as you slipped on a pair of pants, rolling your eyes at him. “You should be asleep,” you scolded lightly. 

“And you should still be in bed with me,” he reprimanded in the same tone. Luke lazily reached across the bed for you, only short by a few inches. 

“I have to be in for an early shoot,” you reminded him. “You know I’d be asleep right beside you if I had the choice.” 

Luke groaned, making you laugh as you ruffled his hair similar to how you’d pet Petunia. “Why can’t you call out?” he whined like a toddler. 

You kissed his forehead and set for the door. “If I did, I’d be out of a job,” you told him. “Then who would Harry kiss on camera?”

“Not funny!” Luke yelled out as you grabbed the rest of your things and left your home. 

“Love you!” you shouted back, closing the door behind you. 

Luke rolled over back to his side, grabbing his phone and absentmindedly scrolled through Twitter. He figured that since he was already awake, he might as well look through his notifications before formally getting up. 

On Twitter, he realized in the bottom of his screen that he received thousands of tagged mentions. Curious, he clicked on the icon to see multiple photos of you and Harry outside the studio. You two were snuggled under a blanket, far too close for his liking. The smile on your face was one Luke was familiar with because it was the look you always gave him. Jealousy burned in his chest before he realized it. 

outofstyles: harry styles and y/n l/n is a pair we didn’t ask for but ended up needing SEVERELY

stylesupdatesdaily: styles-l/n was NOT on my bingo card this year but i am here for it!!! #styles-l/n #wlbumovie

lukehemmingslipring: why are people shipping harry and y/n when she’s been dating luke since way before the SGFG era??? and why am i fucking with it???

y/nismother: @lukehemmingslipring don’t tell me they broke up because if they did love isn’t real :(

y/nismother: @youngblood__irwin SEND THE LINK PLEASE!!!!!

Luke frowned at the back and forth in the comments, as well as additional tweets he was tagged in regarding the Hemmings vs. Styles drama, a drama he didn’t even knew had begun. Frustration and envy brewed inside him despite his strong attempts to fight the urge. He had promised you he wouldn’t get jealous. Hell, he didn’t expect himself to feel this way. He knew you, of course. And he knew Harry very well. In his right mind, he knew there was nothing behind the photos nor your staged romance. But the damn photos and tweets and people raising the question of the stability of his relationship…anger was clouding his mind and he could barely think straight. 

–

By the time you got to set, you were rushed into hair and makeup. You were used to the fast paced nature of the studio and settled into your routine with ease. As your hair designers twisted and pulled your hair back to prep for your wig, you saw a familiar figure catch your eye. 

“Good morning, darlin’,” Harry greeted with a chaste kiss on your cheek. You snorted at his thick Southern accent he had been practicing all year long. While he had improved significantly, you found that his drastic change from a charming British lad to a cheeky Southern man was still too bizarre to get accustomed to.

“Hello, honey,” you said back in a Chicago accent, remembering to stay still for the dressers to apply your wig. The accent you portrayed was one that your character had, a sharp-tongued divorcee. “Didn’t expect you to come in on time.”

“Love, I’m always on time,” he chuckled, sitting beside you to allow the artists to work their magic. “You’re just cooped up in your trailer doing God knows what with that husband of yours.” 

You laughed, eyes shut as your dear friend and makeup artist Alisha applied eyeshadow. “Not my husband,” you corrected him. 

“Well you’ve been dating him long enough for him to might as well be,” he joked. “You seriously mean to tell me Hemmings hasn’t put a ring on your finger?” You nodded as much as you could, considering Alisha was very adamant on perfecting your concealer under your eyes. “Well, he’s got to get a move on before I make a move myself.”

The two of you laughed, knowing the banter was light and all jokes. “Careful now, sweetheart,” you said, reverting back to your Chicago accent. “Mr. Hemmings might get a little jealous.” 

“Can’t have that now, can we?” he drawled, back in his Southern accent. “But you make such a pretty little wife on screen, how can I resist?” 

“You tease!” you exclaimed, clutching your heart and remaining in character. “Mr. McClantire, you know I’m a faithful woman.” 

Finished with his makeup, Harry stood up and readjusted his suit jacket. “Mrs. Abernathy, a lady like you should be cherished,” he explained, taking your hand and brushing his lips against his lightly. “I’ll meet you on set.” 

You chuckled, taking your hand back to fix your hat your stylist had expertly pinned to your head. “I’ll see you then, Mr. McClantire.” 

Leaving you be, Harry left the dressing room and gently closed the door. Alisha clicked her tongue at the British singer turned actor, shaking her head. “Always a tease, isn’t he,” she hummed, applying hair spray liberally. “He better watch himself or the media will end up in a frenzy with his flirtatious attitude.” 

“He’s a sweetheart, I know he means no harm,” you defended him, sipping your tea serenely. “I do believe he’s been seeing someone though so I know there’s no weight to his words. But I do admit his habits are going to make Twitter go crazy. Luke has already gotten wind of some of the news and gossip.” 

Alisha rested her hand on her hip, lips pursed in thought. “Only a matter of time before he gets jealous,” she mused playfully. 

“He won’t,” you said back, not expecting Alisha’s warning.

“Oh honey,” she shook her head. “You know men, they’ll get jealous.” 

–

Luke looked at the TV through the mirror reflection in his dressing room as he adjusted his dress shirt’s sleeves. Nearly a while had passed since the finish of filming and it was a matter of days until the movie’s premiere. Your schedule consisted of plenty of interviews and promo events which resulted in more drama tabloids being released about you and Harry. A scowl rested on his

and Harry on the screen talking with the host of the show. You were animatedly telling a story while Harry’s arm rested behind you. Albeit casual, Luke couldn’t help but glare at the gesture. 

“If looks could kill, he’d be dead,” Ashton mused from behind the blond singer. 

Luke brushed off his comment, turning away from the vanity. “I just wish he’d keep his bloody hands off her,” he muttered enviously. 

Calum was distractedly scrolling through his phone on the couch, no doubt bored, waiting for their cue to get on stage. “And sit fifty miles away from her?” he suggested plainly, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Mate, they’re friends, of course they’re going to sit beside each other.” 

“But with his arm around her?” Luke pressed impatiently, fighting the urge to run his fingers through his hair. You reminded him constantly before arriving at the studio to not touch his hair. You’d worked so hard to style and gel it while he focused on his makeup. The blond settled for crossing his arms on his chest and tapping his foot. 

“Yeah,” Michael agreed with Luke. “He should cut it off,” he joked, dodging Luke’s swat of his hand. 

Ashton patted Luke’s shoulder, setting him down on the couch. “Calm down, Luke,” he instructed. “Take some deep breaths or else you’ll pop a vein. I understand how annoying publicists have been with Harry and n/n, but you shouldn’t let them get to you.” 

“How can I when they talk about my girl?” Luke seethed, his composure rigid. “They talk about her like she’s a fame chaser, going after Harry for publicity even though she’s been practically an A-lister since she was a kid.” Luke shuffled in his seat, frown permanently on his face. 

“Then I hardly see how Harry’s got anything to do with it,” Calum raised an eyebrow. 

Luke stood up from the couch as quickly as he had sat down. “Because he’s–he’s–” Luke stumbled over his words. Finding no reasonable excuse, he angrily kicked his foot against the table only to yelp in pain, clutching his foot and jumping up and down. “That fucking pretty boy.” 

Michael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can’t really give into those gossip tablets, can you?” he genuinely asked. 

Luke paused, long enough for the boys to shake their heads in disappointment. “It’s the hair!” he lamely blamed, throwing his hands in the air. 

The boys’ conversation was interrupted by a set assistant, knocking on the door while opening it. “Five minutes till your performance,” the boy squeaked. 

Ashton was the one to speak up for the group. “Thanks, Roberto,” he said gratefully. The moment the boy left, Ashton turned to the boys. “We’re going to discuss this more later after the show. Luke, please be civil with Harry.” 

“Says the one who fucked his sis-”

“None of that now,” Ashton cut Michael off, not wanting to rehash his past. “Now let’s get on stage before they have our heads.” 

The boys made their way down to the set, hiding discreetly behind the curtains. A frenzy of assistants scurried by, ensuring that the boys had their instruments and everything was perfect before they got on stage. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, Five Seconds of Summer!” 

The stage manager nodded at the cue, ushering the boys through the entrance. Luke was the first to walk through, waving at the audience and smiling at fans screaming in the back. They got settled on the side stage, instruments in tow as they turned to the host of the night. 

“Thank you for having us, Jimmy,” Luke spoke into the mic, trying not to wince at the squealing girls in the crowd. His eyes were trained on you, who had stood up and clapped for the band as they came in. You were now seated, eyes sparkling in excitement. 

Jimmy Fallon leaned back in his chair. “We’re glad to have you, Luke,” he responded. “Hope the dressing room wasn’t too snug for your guys?”

“Oh no Jimmy, we quite enjoyed it,” Ashton answered from behind his kit. “Reminds me of the good old days when we’d share Luke’s bedroom to change before filming our performances on YouTube.” 

The crowd laughed at Ashton’s quip, Jimmy especially as he shook his head in laughter. “Good to hear,” he said. “And what do you guys have for us today?” 

Michael was next to take the lead. “Well initially we thought we were going to perform our song for What Lies Between Us,” he began, followed by more applause and cheering. “But we thought it would be better to leave that for the premiere.” 

“Correction: our publicist thought it would be better,” Calum joked, however there was no fabrication behind it; their publicist did think it would be best.

“So we decided to play a song from our album that’s yet to come out,” Michael finished. “Jimmy, this is “Bad Omens.”” 

The crowd loved the song as much as you did, finding that song to be one of your favorites of the album. Upon finishing the song, the boys set down their instruments for the backstage staff to collect and made their way to the couches. 

You and Harry stood up to greet each of them, Harry with a handshake and you with a kiss on the cheek. Luke took your hand, kissing you brightly on the lips before sitting down beside you. Jimmy made a cheeky face, teasingly looking at you and your boyfriend. The crowd chuckled at his behavior and you did the same while Luke kept his hand possessively on your knee.

“Well this is a new development,” Jimmy mused, folding his hands on top of his desk. 

You waved off his comment with an airy giggle. “Oh this?” you asked, gesturing between you and Luke. “Old as time.” 

“We’ve actually been together for what, a little over ten years now?” Luke explained, glancing over at you with a proud smile. He relished the feeling of the crowd clapping and whooping at your relationship. 

Jimmy whistled at Luke’s comment. “And no ring on the finger?” he pressed. “I mean, you’ve had to have thought about it before?” 

You nodded reassuringly. “Oh a million times,” you responded. “But God knows that when you deal with one of these boys, you have to deal with all of them.” You jabbed your thumb at the three boys to the left of you, shoving their lanky arms against each other as they tried to get comfortable on their seats. Luke cleared his throat to get their attention, the boys flushed in the face as they quit their quarreling. “I’ve known them since they went on tour with One Direction and we finally ended up dating afterwards. But now, I’m ready to get married and settle down. I’m just waiting on Hemmings, here.” 

Luke chuckled at your last comment, seemingly taking them lightly. You furrowed your eyebrows at his reaction, but decided not to act upon it. “She’s very much so anticipating that question, Jimmy,” he confessed. “It’s only a matter of time, but I’m in no hurry. This one, however…” he trailed off, grinning at you.

“A girl has dreams,” you defended yourself. 

Jimmy snapped his fingers at your words, a thought coming back to him. “Yes, you certainly do!” he exclaimed, reaching under his desk for a frame as he changed the subject. Confusion and hurt brewed inside you, but you quickly pushed those feelings down. “y/n, you’re not a stranger to dreams, right?”

“Oh, definitely not,” you agreed with a dubious expression on your face. 

“So I hope you don’t mind when I show a little memento from the past your mother sent over.”

“Oh God,” you groaned, turning to hide your face in Luke’s shoulder. “What did she send over now? I told you to lose her number, Jimmy.” 

Jimmy raised his hands up in surrender. “She makes a great lunch partner,” he defended himself. “y/m/n, if you’re watching tonight, we’re still on for Tuesday?” You rolled your eyes as Harry threw his head back in laughter. “Joking, joking, not really, but-” 

“Jimmy,” you said in a warning tone. 

“Alright, alright,” he relented. “Anyways, your mother found a letter you wrote back when you were in middle school to the tooth fairy-”

Michael choked on his own saliva, jerking forward. “n/n, you still believed in the tooth fairy when you were in middle school-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Clifford,” you clipped back through your teeth as you smiled rigidly. You still had one last baby tooth in at the time, you still had your hopes out for the mythical creature.

Jimmy raised his hand to cut off the side chatter as he read from the framed letter. “And you, at age thirteen, had one dream that you wished the tooth fairy would grant you.” 

“Dear Tooth Fairy,” he read aloud as you crumbled in embarrassment. “I have finally lost my last tooth, so I guess this will be the last letter I can send you.”

“Aww,” the boys gushed in unison, causing you to shoot them an icy glare. 

“To end this amazing tooth filled saga, I have one last wish. You see, it’s been my dream to meet One Direction.” 

“Jimmy!” you screamed, covering your face in humiliation as the memories started to flood in. Luke covered you in his arms as you folded over yourself, laughing along but equally curious about what was in the letter.

Jimmy, nonetheless, continued reading. “And I have a favorite singer in the band. If you could pull some strings and make Harry Styles my boyfriend, I swear to you I’ll write a letter to you everyday -even though I have no more teeth to give you- and will solemnly swear to be your best friend forever. Let him be my boyfriend, pleaseeeeee.” The audience let out a boisterous laughter as Jimmy emphasized your silly, childish writing. “Love, y/n.” 

More clapping filled your ears as you raised your head to face Jimmy. In the corner of your eye, you saw Harry resting casually beside you, facing you as he leaned against the couch. 

“I’m flattered,” Harry told you, an amused smile resting on his lips.

You pressed your lips in a straight line. “Thanks, Har,” you deadpanned. 

He patted your shoulder in a friendly manner. “No, it’s real sweet,” he reassured you. “Truly, cute, even.” 

“That’s not all we have,” Jimmy spoke up as he put away your framed letter. He waved off your groans and complaints. “It’s not bad, not bad. I’m sure you all remember the Golden Globes back in 2012 when y/n made her first appearance in the hit TV show, The Last Elites of Cardenia.” 

The crowd cheered as a photo of you as a child appeared on the screen. It was a shot of you in the show, dressed up in your furs and pearls as per your character, Cecilia. The next photo was of you on the red carpet with your show family. Your braces were highly visible in your smile, making you wince at the rough photo. 

“I loved that show,” Ashton sighed, full of nostalgia. “Cal, Michael, and I would binge that show every night after concerts.” 

“You didn’t watch it, Luke?” Jimmy asked curiously.

Luke sheepishly shook his head. “No, I didn’t,” he answered honestly. 

“I’m offended, babe,” you teased, your hand over your heart in mock offense.

Michael snorted. “It’s not like he didn’t like the show,” he told you. “He just could barely follow the storyline whenever you popped up on screen.” 

The boys gave Luke playful punches as he blushed. “I-I couldn’t help it!” he exclaimed. “You were just so cute on screen, you were my celebrity crush for the longest time. I mean you were a right entitled bitch in the show but meeting you in real life, I just was-“

“So down bad,” Ashton finished for him. Luke was about to correct him but you were quick to cut him off. 

“Baby,” you cooed, pinching his cheek. 

Jimmy laughed along with the conversation, pointing towards the screen as he spoke. “Speaking of celebrity crushes,” he continued. “We have this old footage of you on the red carpet answering some questions.” 

The day was bright as you appeared on the screen. A youthful innocence covered your entire self, from the way you gathered yourself to your voice. A woman was behind the camera, only her hand holding the microphone could be seen.

“And who might you be?” the woman asked you. 

You smiled brightly. “I’m y/n!” you chirped. “y/n l/n but most people know me as Cecilia from The Last Elites of Cardenia.”

“Nice to meet you, y/n, I’m Mei,” the woman greeted, shaking your hand. “This is your first time here at the Golden Globes, how are you feeling?” 

“Oh, I’m sooo excited, Mei,” you answered honestly and giddily. You could hardly stand still. “My mom picked my outfit today so I’m feeling very confident and pretty!”

“And who do you want to see most today?” 

You cocked your head in thought. “Harry Styles!” you exclaimed. “I heard One Direction’s going to be at the after party, so I really hope to see him. He’s my biggest celebrity crush,” you gushed unabashedly.

The clip ended and everyone turned to you, where you were frozen and wide-eyed.

“Where the hell do you find this stuff, Jimmy,” you sighed, face palming annoyedly. 

“Oh, the vault, you know,” Jimmy responded cheekily. “But that leaves us wondering how you feel now, starring alongside your celebrity crush in the film “What Lies Between Us?”” 

You tapped your chin. Harry glanced over at you. “Be honest, darling,” he reminded you in a sing-songy voice. 

“Well I can definitely say that my teenage self is absolutely losing her mind,” you answered. “It’s something out of a dream, if you think about it. I mean, I never knew I’d come far enough to star in a highly anticipated movie, nevertheless star alongside Harry. It’s a blessing, surely, but now, I think that fangirl side of me has been laid to rest.” 

Jimmy turned to your boyfriend. “And what do you think, Luke?” 

The musician gave the host a close lipped smile. “Whatever makes n/n happy,” he settled brusquely.

Jimmy, satisfied with his response, began asking questions for the other boys about touring and their music. You whipped your head around and raised an eyebrow at Luke for his short response, but Luke didn’t make eye contact with you. Concerned, you reached for his hand on his knee but he pulled back, folding his hands together. Never had you felt more confused and isolated than you did at that moment. You used to be able to read his mind, but now it felt like he’d closed his mind in walls you couldn’t seem to get past. 

–

“What was that about?” you demanded, following closely behind Luke as you walked into your shared home. 

After that awkward end to the show with Jimmy Fallon, you, Harry, and the boys went out to dinner. You thought that moment with Luke was just a one-off thing, but he remained in his rigid composure for the rest of the night. The boys would talk boisterously throughout the dinner, sharing stories of the past tours with One Direction and catching up on life afterwards. But Luke was the only one who remained silent, opting to focus on his glass of red wine he never seemed to finish. You made attempts to speak to Luke, nudging him or trying to meet his eyes from across the table but he refused to look up the entire time. Frustrated, you let it be but it was clear you were upset to the rest of the table. Harry had even pulled you aside after you all paid for your meals, asking if things were alright and if he had overstepped at all. You reassured him he did nothing wrong, it was Luke who was being childish at the moment.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he brushed you off, heading upstairs to your bedroom. He removed his suit jacket and started unbuttoning his dress shirt nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong or pissed you off. 

You entered the bedroom, heels kicked off as you crossed your arms on your chest. “Let me refresh your mind,” you spat. “You’ve been nothing but rotten towards Harry and I tonight. What’s gotten into you? I thought you said you wouldn’t get jealous-”

“And I’m not,” Luke fought back. “God, you can be so conceited sometimes, y/n.” 

“So that’s what it is?” you snapped back. “I’m just being self-centered and your head isn’t stuck up your ass?” 

Luke aggressively pulled his sleeves up, leaving half of his buttons undone while placing his hands on his hips. “Yes, it would appear so,” he answered shortly. “You’re overthinking what’s going on, y/n, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Do not gaslight me, Luke Hemmings,” you ordered, walking up to him to stand chest to chest. “I know your mother taught you enough for you to know that is not the way to go when arguing with me.” Luke huffed, giving in on that one statement because you were right; he did know better.

“Fine,” he muttered. “I am upset. And I have every reason to. I don’t like how close you and Harry have gotten, okay?”

Your jaw dropped in utter shock. “You mean my coworker?” you clarified sarcastically. “I’d hope I’d be close with him considering we’re playing lovers in the damn movie-” 

“There you go again!” Luke’s voice boomed across the room, throwing his hands in the air. “You and Harry being lovers. Sometimes I’m led to believe it’s more than for the movie with the photos I’ve seen and the mere way you act with him.” 

“Luke, I have no idea what to tell you,” you fumed. “We are acting. I have no romantic feelings for him and he has none for me. He’s seeing someone, for crying out loud! I thought you had enough trust in me to know nothing is going on between me and him.” 

“I do trust you,” he argued. “But you couldn’t possibly look me dead in the eye and tell me you didn’t have romantic feelings at all during filming. You have been crushing on him for far too long for that to just go away.” 

You hesitated, your face burning with frustration and humiliation. You hated to admit there was some truth to his statement. “I-I,” you stumbled over your words.

Luke’s nostrils flared as he glared at you, proving his point exactly. You threw your hands in the air. “He was a celebrity crush from when I was a teenager, Luke!” you shouted exasperatedly. “I had a little crush, that was it! And maybe it resurfaced a little at the beginning but I swear to you I don’t have those feelings anymore. It was a childish crush, Luke, you’ve got to believe me when I say that. I love you.” 

Tears lined both of your eyes as you went to reach for his hand. Your thumb grazed his ring, the one you bought for him for your first anniversary. “I really don’t know,” Luke whispered, slowly pulling his hand away.

Your heart shattered at his words, falling to the ground you stood on. You had dedicated ten years of your life to this man, ten of the best years of your life to him. You grew up with him, made the best and worst mistakes of your lives, and survived all of that together. He was your person, your lover, your one being that you’d lay down your life for. Yet, the moment your relationship is tested, he falters. But you couldn’t blame him. One little crush resurfacing, and that managed to wipe out everything you ever created for yourself over the past decade.

You took a deep breath, fighting the urge to fall over and sob on the ground. Your hands opened and closed into fists as you took a step back. “Fine,” you said, shaky and uncertain. Luke almost caved at your voice, the mere way you spoke. You had always carried yourself with dignity and confidence. He was the one who stripped you of that, and you were just a shell of who you once were. 

“I think I’m going to spend the night at Crys’s,” you told him, walking over to your closet and pulling out a bag. “It’s clear we both need space and time apart.” 

Luke shook his head, taking your wrist. “Don’t do that,” he said. “Your premiere is in two days, you’re going to be worn out and exhausted if you don’t sleep right. I’ll head over to Cal’s and you can stay here.” 

Taking back your wrist, you continued to pack your things. “It’s your house, Luke,” you reminded him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay spending the night with Crys and Michael.” 

“Don’t bother them,” Luke insisted. “They’ve been busy building the nursery for when they plan on trying for a baby and-” 

You winced at his words. He didn’t understand how much he hurt you with them, where he was only looking out for their sake and not yours. Realizing the deeper meaning behind his words, Luke tried to correct himself when you just raised your hand to stop him. He had said enough for the night, and so had you. 

“I’ll find a hotel,” you finally decided. Luke was silent, heart aching and yearning for you, but too frozen to speak up and do anything about it. Finished packing, you zipped up your bag and turned back to him. “Goodnight, Lukey,” you said, kissing him on the cheek before leaving the house entirely. 

Driving down the streets of L.A. you managed to find a small hotel on the side of the road that looked safe enough to spend the night. Carrying your bag, you pathetically entered the hotel in your dress from the late night show and a pair of flat shoes you slipped on before leaving. Your hair was no doubt a mess, no longer styled to perfection as Alisha once had it. Your mascara was probably running down your face, too. God, you looked like a mess in front of this poor worker. 

The boy lifted his eyes to meet yours, slowly recognizing who you were but deciding to not speak on it. You looked like you had gone through enough tonight. “Room for one?” he asked you. You wordlessly nodded, rummaging through your bag to find your wallet for ID and your card. Handing them to the worker, you kept your gaze on your bag. In the process, you found your phone and checked your notifications. 

Lukey &lt;;3: please let me know when you arrive safely

You: im here now

Lukey &lt;;3: okay, love. use the card i gave you to pay for your room

You: no, it’s fine.

You left the conversation at that, not caring if it were dry. You were exhausted and didn’t want to fight with him anymore. You had no more fight in you to give him. 

The boy behind the desk handed you back your things along with your key card for the night. “Let me know if you need anything at all to improve your stay,” he told you politely. 

You fought the urge to scoff at the boy. Like you could do anything to improve your stay, tonight was hell as it is. But you reminded yourself it wasn’t his fault you were arguing with the love of your life; it was yours. Thanking him quietly, you made your way to your room and tossed your bag on the foot of your bed, tucking yourself in next, still in your evening wear. You didn’t care if you’d ruin your dress or damage your face from leaving your makeup on overnight. It was too much for you to deal with right now. 

Lukey &lt;;3: goodnight, y/n

read 2:43 am

–

The next two days were utter torture for Luke. He kept contact with you through it all, ensuring that you had eaten, slept, etc. but that was all you’d tell him. Luke couldn’t decide whether or not he was grateful for your shortness with your words, if it would make him cave and go to you and forget everything or make him more upset. He was grateful he had your location still on his phone, and you had his. At least he could check on you and make sure you were alright and not in any trouble. 

Luke was also guilty of checking if you had gone to Harry’s house. Guilt and upset rumbled in his stomach, as he felt like he crossed a boundary and invaded your privacy. But how could he not be curious about your whereabouts when you had confessed to him you still had some feelings toward Harry? It didn’t matter that you said those feelings came and went. What would happen if you tied the knot and you changed your mind about him? 

Luke had trusted you with his life. He took your word as true most of the time, but now he was unsure. He wasn’t sure where he lied with you now. He loved you still, yes, and he’d still sacrifice his own happiness for you. Perhaps he blew things over proportion between the two of you. You swore you still loved him and no longer felt anything for Harry. But why did Luke still feel something wrong in his chest? 

He still had mixed feelings about your argument on the night of your premiere. Luke was in Ashton’s living room, quietly sipping on a beer as he waited for the rest of the band and their significant others to meet them there to travel to the theater together. 

Ashton slipped on his jacket, entering the room and looking over at his friend. “y/n not joining us tonight, mate?” he asked. He knew what had happened those nights ago. He was the first person Luke called the moment you left, staying on the phone with him until five in the morning. You had even called him later that day to ask for his advice. He was grateful you both thought of him as an older brother figure, and he wanted nothing more than to get you both together to talk through it. 

Luke set his bottle down, not wanting to get drunk on your important night. “No,” he replied with a heaved sigh. “She texted me that she’ll get there on her own because Alisha wanted to do her hair and makeup.”

Ashton sat down beside him, patting his back. “That’s good she’s still talking to you, right?” he brought up, trying to look on the bright side. 

“Only because I made her swear to keep me updated,” he grumbled. “If it weren’t for that, I think she’d block my number.”

“Now that’s not true,” Ashton told him seriously. 

Luke shrugged his shoulders. “I practically told her I didn’t trust her anymore,” he said, ashamed of himself. “But it’s fair, isn’t it? I knew in my stomach that there was something going on between her and Harry.”

“But there wasn’t,” Ashton reminded him. “She said her feelings toward Harry resurfaced, but she didn’t act on them in any way.”

“But what if one day she wakes up and realizes she can do so much better than me?” Luke asked, voice cracking. He didn’t want to think about that, but that’s all his mind would conjure. “Then she’ll leave me for him and I’ll be the idiot that was strung along the whole time.” 

Ashton leaned back on his sofa. “I think you owe y/n more credit than that,” he said. “She loves you, she said so herself. And if she really wanted Harry, she wouldn’t have fought for you like she did.”

“You’re right,” Luke supposed. “I just feel so guilty now.”

“You can talk to her after the premiere,” Ashton settled. “Trust me, she wants to talk to you, too.”

The two were interrupted by Ashton’s door swinging open to reveal the remaining boys and their significant others. Ready to go, Ashton and Luke joined them outside to hop into Michael’s car. 

Luke got settled in the back seat, reaching for his seat belt when Crystal turned around to face him. “How are you holding up, bub?” she asked, a comforting smile on her face.

He grimaced but tilted his head in response. “Definitely could be better,” he said earnestly. “But Ash helped me through it.”

Crystal reached behind her to pat his knee soothingly. “I’m glad,” she said. “y/n’s the same. I stopped by her hotel this morning to catch up on things.”

“And she’s okay?” Luke leaned in, interested in learning anything about your whereabouts and how you’re doing. 

Crystal put on the same expression as Luke. “About the same as you,” she responded. “But don’t worry, everything will work out in the end.” 

Luke braved a smile. “I hope so.”

—

The carpet leading up to the theater was packed with reporters and photographers trying to get a glimpse of the actors featured in the film. The band was far behind, stuck in the traffic of people stopping them to ask a few questions. 

“Boys!” a man called out. “Over here! I’m here with Vanity Fair.”

The boys shared a glance and went up to the man. “My name is Aamir and I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about tonight.”

Michael stood in the front, taking Aamir’s extra microphone. “Let’s hear them!”

“This is the first time your music is being featured in a movie as big as this,” Aamir stated. “How are you all feeling?”

Calum drew in a breath, deciding to take this question. “I mean, how can we feel?” he responded. “It’s a mix of feelings, I can tell you that. I think on behalf of the band, we’re all just really nervous but excited to put out this music for the film. It’s really different from our typical kind of music, but we hope you all love it the same.” 

“I’m sure we’ll all love what you have in store for us,” Aamir said confidently. “Luke, how are you feeling tonight? It’s a big moment for your girlfriend, y/n l/n, as this is her first lead role in a highly anticipated movie. Can you give us an insight on how y/n is feeling and how you both prepared for tonight?”

Luke tried to not let his rigidity and awkwardness show on camera. There was enough dubious press about the two of you after that show with Jimmy Fallon. “I’m sure she’s over the moon about tonight,” he answered, eyes flickering to the camera. “She’s been so excited for this moment and all her hard work has come down to tonight.”

“And how have you prepared together?” Aamir repeated his second question with curiosity as to why Luke didn’t answer in the first place.

Luke bit his lip, trying to answer without showing he was completely unsure. “Well-“

Cheers erupted from the crowd as a limo approached the carpet. Luke thanked God for that distraction because everyone -including himself- turned to see what the commotion was about. 

You stepped outside of the car, dressed in a long white gown that resembled a wedding dress. Luke could only describe you as ethereal as you shyly waved to the photographers and interviewers. He’d never seen you so shy in public, since you’d been in front of the cameras since you were a child. Your eyes were trained on the ground, a shaky smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Reporters shouted at you, desperate to get a word or two with you. Dazed by the flashing lights and loud noises, you took a step forward to where the people were blocked by a gate. In your nervous stature, you began to tremble, hands reaching out for stability but struggling to do so. Your ankle gave way, causing you to fall to the ground. People shouted and “ooh’ed” but no one ran in to help you. 

Rushing forward, Luke ran over to you and wrapped his arm securely around your waist as he guided you back up. You gasped, looking up at your savior and realizing who it was. His name was on your lips but no sound could come out; you were too shocked to say anything since you hadn’t formally spoken to him in days.

Luke gave you a reassuring smile, eyes glancing down at your lips to silently ask for permission to kiss you. You nodded, allowing him to cup the side of your face to kiss you softly. The moment your lips met his, you felt yourself get regrounded. Knowing he was by your side, you felt like yourself again: more confident. 

The press ate up yours and Luke’s stunt, taking photos left and right of the two of you. You pulled away, your hand on his chest and feeling his heart beat quickly. “Thank you,” you whispered. Luke gave you a small nod but remained silent as he led you to the reporters. 

A young woman caught your attention, pointing her microphone in your direction. “Are you alright, y/n?” she asked you, camera pointed at you. “I’m Irina with TMZ. We’re happy to see you tonight!”

Nerves began to creep in as you drew a blank at her question. Luke’s hand squeezed your hip comfortingly, providing you with the stability and strength you needed to get through the event. Nodding to yourself, you opened your mouth to answer. 

“I’m doing great, thank you,” you answered. “Just some first premiere nerves but they never killed anyone! I’m just really grateful Luke was here to save me from that little trip there.” 

Irina pointed her microphone at Luke, who was taken aback but spoke nonetheless. “Anything for my girl,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s her big night and I’m her biggest supporter. She’s my rock for concerts, I’m her rock for premieres. We have each other’s backs.”

Your eyes were stuck on Luke, mesmerized by his face and how his eyelids glistened in the light from his eyeshadow, no doubt from the palette you gifted him on his birthday last year. The corners of your lips quirked upwards, a warm and fuzzy feeling growing in your chest as you looked up at him with pride and love. You almost didn’t hear the interviewer’s final question. 

“y/n, it’s been all over social media how you had a long standing crush on your co-lead, Harry Styles,” Irina stated. You felt Luke’s hand tighten around your hip without him realizing, no doubt irritated by that question. “How did it feel to kiss him and perform in intimate scenes with him?” 

As you opened your mouth to respond, Luke cut in. “Respectfully,” he began. “I think y/n’s work goes far beyond who she kissed or who she did what with. She’s been in the film industry for as long as I can remember, and definitely deserves more questions that dive deeper than who she harbors romantic feelings for.” 

The interviewer’s face flushed in embarrassment. “Of course,” she agreed, rushing to apologize. You simply waved her off, politely excusing both yourself and Luke out of the conversation with grace. 

Luke remained by your side as you made your way through the reporters and photographers, staying silent unless asked a question. You thought he wouldn’t look at you from the way his eyes never met yours -except for when he kissed you, of course- but in fact, he had stared at you the entire time you spoke. Nothing but adoration filled his mind when he listened to you speak about the work you worked so hard to make. It made all of your past problems fade to gray, and he nearly forgot about your whole argument. 

Once you entered the theater, you expected Luke to pull away to find the boys but he didn’t. You stopped in your tracks to turn to him. “You can go back to the boys now,” you whispered gently to him.

Luke was taken by surprise at your words, and hurt flashed across his face. “Do you want me to go?” he asked you.

You were quick to shake your head. “No!” you rushed. “I just thought…you know, it’s your big day, too. I figured you’d want to spend it with them.”

The blond took your hands in his and kissed them softly. “I want to be by your side through it all,” he assured you. “I haven’t seen you in days, and I don’t want a petty fight to get between us and celebrating your greatest achievement.”

Your publicity manager approached you, checking her watch every second or so anxiously. “The movie’s about to start,” she reminded you hurriedly. 

You were about to tell her to give you both a few minutes, but Luke stopped you. “We can talk more later, okay?” he said. You agreed wordlessly, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the lips. 

“Let’s go in together, babe,” you decided. Luke resumed his position beside you, entering the theater together proudly to watch the film the both of you dedicated so much time and effort into. And as Luke took your hand while you both sat in your seats, you knew that everything would be okay in the end. 

–

Once the movie had ended, Harry invited you and the boys to his home for the afterparty but you politely declined, opting to spend the rest of the night with your beloved boyfriend. 

Now, you and Luke took a walk around the finally quieted city, hand in hand. You were grateful you brought another pair of shoes with you because your heels were killing you, and you were more thankful for Luke who insisted on holding your strappy heels for you as you continued your walk. 

“I really can’t thank you enough for saving my neck there on the carpet,” you said in a slightly teasing tone. “I would have actually melted into the floor if you didn’t come to my aid.”

“I meant what I said when I said I always had your back, y/n,” Luke replied, eyes trained on the sidewalk. 

A pregnant silence followed as you made your way through the city, taking in the lights and cool summer air without any fear of paparazzi following close behind you. You found yourself nervously playing with the rings on Luke’s fingers as you tried to find the right words to say.

“I’m sorry for that night,” you began, avoiding his questioned gaze. “I should have been more open to you about how I felt from the beginning, but I really do promise that I don’t have any feelings for him. Not anymore, at least. It was a teenage dream come true, but…”

Luke raised an eyebrow at you. “But?” he pressed gently.

You stopped walking, turning to cup his cheek affectionately. “But that’s not my dream anymore,” you finished. “My dream is to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Whether or not you decide to marry me, I want you in my life for all the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m really sorry for ever making you doubt my love for you, and I’m sorry for not being receptive to your doubts and insecurities.” 

“What makes you think I don’t wanna marry you?” he asked you. “Of course I do. I want to see you walk down that aisle with a dress as giant or as small as you want, as long as you become Mrs. Hemmings at the end of it. Or if you don’t want to take my last name, that’s fine, too. I don’t care if you want a big or small wedding or a wedding at all. If you want to take that oath in the townhouse and officially be mine -and I, yours- I’m perfectly okay with that, too.” 

You bit your lip, trying to fight back your tears. “I was just nervous,” you confessed. “I knew you were upset by those questions about me and Harry, but I was upset, too. I just never told you how upset I was.” A stray tear trickled down your face but you stubbornly wiped it away, not wanting to cry. “We’ve been together for ten wonderful years, and all people would ask me is “when are you getting married?” “when is he going to propose?” And at first, I was fine with it. But the more people asked, the more anxious I was about the stability of our relationship.”

When Luke’s face gave away he wasn’t exactly following what you meant, you continued to explain further. “I’ve read so many tweets and articles about how undesirable I am, from the moment I turned sixteen. And the fact that you kept pushing off the idea of us getting married,” you looked away, embarrassed by your reaction to all of this. “It hurts, Lukey. And I know marriage isn’t a thing to rush into and I don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want, but those drama tabloids just make me feel so insecure.” 

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Luke frowned, pity settling in, but you waved your hand to brush it off.

“It’s stupid,” you decided, wiping away the extra tears that managed to escape. “I’ve always told you not to give into the press and social media, yet here I am doing that very thing. L-let’s focus on you, Luke.”

“We can talk about my stupid jealousy another time,” Luke fought to stay on topic. “y/n, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling like this? If I had known, I would have said something-”

“But that’s not how proposals work, Lukey!” you exclaimed. “It’s not something you do out of pity. It’s a decision you make when you’re sure and you’re not! That’s okay, I don’t want you to make a decision you’ll only end up regretting just to please me in the present.” 

Luke took your hand in his, forcing you to look up at him. “Why do you think I’d ever regret marrying you?” he questioned. “y/n, you’re the love of my life. You’re definitely not my first girlfriend but I intend for you to be my last. You’re it for me, n/n. I do want to marry you and I intended to propose, I just wanted to find the right time and place for it. As for my behavior the past few months,” he sighed. “It wasn’t right of me to villainize you and Harry. You’re friends and coworkers, of course you’re going to get close. And I knew that the press would twist the narrative to make it seem like you guys were more than friends. I should have felt secure enough in our relationship to trust you completely, but I was also too insecure to let that be. 

“Harry’s great. He’s talented, a better singer than I’ll ever be, and kind hearted. I’ve always felt like I was in his shadow, and seeing him with you made me feel self-conscious all over again. And all those news posts about him being your celebrity crush as a child made me angrier. I know it’s not something I should have blamed you for, I was just so jealous I could barely think straight.” 

Luke stepped closer to you, his breath grazing your face. “I’m sorry for being jealous and ever doubting you,” he said honestly. “I should have trusted you when you said you no longer felt anything for him.”

“I’m sorry for brushing you off and not listening,” you said in response. “I promise you, Luke, you’re it for me, too.” 

Luke choked back a laugh of disbelief, grateful for this whole ordeal getting resolved as he bent down to kiss you deeply. Your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer to finally taste him, smell him, feel him again. 

Once you pulled back for air, you crinkled your nose as you smiled. “Does this mean we’re engaged?” you asked curiously, eyes sparkling with happiness and love. “You know, since we’re in agreement and everything.” 

“I would have preferred to get down on one knee and that whole spiel,” Luke sighed dramatically. “But yes, I do suppose we are engaged.” 

Grinning, you pulled him back down for another kiss. “We can get to that sappy stuff later,” you insisted. “I just want to spend the rest of my night with my husband-to-be.” 

--

thank you so much for reading! please like and reblog if you enjoyed! <3

[lilith-vodkaaunt-of-demons]

I just finished watching Encanto for the umpteenth time, and I have to say, I'm really disappointed that it feels like every time someone talks about understanding or feeling empathy towards Abuela Madrigal that the conversation inevitably turns to people accusing the poster of abuse apologia. I understand why Abuela Madrigal behaved the way she did, that does not mean I condone it. I can feel empathy for a person and understand their behavior while simultaneously condemn them for said behavior.

And I feel like this ties in to this trend of "Media that portrays a negative behavior at all is just as bad as media that glorifies that behavior." Which itself ties into a trend of Anti-Intellectualism, because ultimately what the message becomes is "Anything or anyone who doesn't demonize or villify this Bad Thing to cartoonish proportions is Condoning it, because portraying Bad Thing in a realistic way leads to Understanding it, and once people Understand it, I'm no long allowed to treat people who have done or are that bad thing like they aren't people anymore."

Addiction, for example. As people come to understand that Addiction isn't a moralistic failure, but an actual chronic disease that can even be genetic, it's becoming less acceptable to treat people who suffer from Addiction as non-people anymore. And you can SEE people fight against it because they WANT a target they don't have to treat with the basic respect people deserve to be treated with. With the way some people act about Clean Needle Initiatives, or Narcan, or Fentynal Testing Strips, you can tell that what they really want is to continue to be able to treat someone like they're below them. But as people come to understand why people do the things they do, it becomes harder and harder to do that.

Which is to say, I empathize with Abuela Madrigal. I understand why she acted the way she did, but I don't condone it.

And personally, I think the movie did a great job subtle queuing up why she behaved that way. That every issue that the individual family members brought up that they were worried about was something Abuela also worried about. She had the same pressure to fix everything that Louisa did, the same pressure to be perfect like Isabella, the same responsibilities to make sure all the towns people were taken care of as Julieta, and the same requirements of keeping her emotions under control like Pepa. All of her kids and Grandkids were mirrors into what Abuela was also having to deal with all by herself, so yes, I understand why she acted that way, and I do empathize with her, but I also understand that her reactions to all of that were still wrong.

Even Mirabel, arguably most of all, was a reflection of Abuela. Mirabel was a reflection of Abuela's internalized feelings of Unworthiness. That she didn't deserve the miracle that she'd been given, and so when she saw someone who was not given a miracle, she dumped those feelings of unworthiness onto Mirabel. Mirabel was never going to be good enough because Abuela didn't think of herself as good enough, and she took it out on Mirabel.

I could actually break down how all the powers of the Madrigal Family find their roots in Control, which is the root of Abuela's inferiority complex, but I'll save that for another time if anyone is interested.

[queenvhagar]

Is it just me or does anyone ever think that TB fans and most T4rg stans refuse to see that characters can be grey. They only want good and evil and sadly they think that they are stanning the good ones? Idk but it seems as though the characters they like can never do wrong and they believe that it is for the greater cause or something

It's this weird thing of virtue signaling that's been going on with media lately. Like being a fan of or supporting a morally right or good character somehow says something about who someone is as a person in real life and the opposite being true for those supporting morally gray or wrong characters.

In this, you can have people supporting Rhaenyra and her side who can feel like they're actually good people and true feminists specifically for doing so while at the same calling Alicent a cunt unironically and arguing she is the scum of the earth for literally trying to survive.

And then they can look at Team Green or Aegon stans and accuse them of being real life advocates and supporters of the harmful things those characters do, with fans and actors alike being accused of being rape apologists and condoning sexual assault and the like and therefore being evil, bad people in real life.

These fans fail to see the difference between fiction and real life in that the two are not directly correlated and there is truly no meaning behind supporting certain characters (and it certainly doesn't say anything about someone's actual character).

They also have a hard time breaking away from black and white thinking, because then they would have to admit that people are not just all good or all evil and they might have to reckon with the fact that everyone has good and bad qualities. They would prefer to view themselves as all good, just as they view characters they want to root for as all good.

Unfortunately I feel like a lot of these fans are also ones who believe that fiction should not portray bad things like murder or assault because it somehow endorses that these things happens, instead of fiction actually just being a way to explore that these real things happen in life and look to tell stories about how these real things affect real people.

It's a loss for media literacy for sure and a sign that people are not willing to think deeply or critically about what they see in fiction and how it actually relates to real life.

[aloeverawrites]

I do think it’s funny how people will say that writing about murder or dark topics is the same as romanticing actual abuse and bigotry, so you can either have completely pure wholesome art or something that just gives the green light to the worst of the human soul-

Like sir, I plan the deaths of fictional people for a living-

And yet I still try to represent people of color, children, women and the queer community and other minorities in respectful ways and I do a lot of research to try and do that.

Because I know that books influence how people think and see the world, that’s kind of the point of them. People aren’t going to go and kill their rich aunt for an inheritance just because I wrote about it, but if I constantly portrayed black characters as nothing more then the supports and bumbling comic relief that would change how they see us on a subconscious level.

If you look at the history of how and why minorities are portrayed in certain ways in media you’ll see it was done on purpose and it has had an impact on us.

Our biases affect our media and our media affects our biases.

Our stories change the world.

That’s why it’s important to think critically about them.

(With great power comes great responsibility and all that. That belief is still real even if the man who said it isn’t.)

It isn’t “never portray anything bad ever” or “romanticise and condone everything in fiction,” there is nuance.

[dreamwreaver]

I agree with everything you said in your response to that ask. It's obvious Chaggie wasn't something she was always going for. What confuses me is her mindset of, well now that it's canon, I don't have to put in any work for this ship. Excuse me? What? Has Viv never shipped before. That's not how canon works. You have to make ppl care about the ship and she or the writers haven't done that. How is Chaggie good enough to become canon because of some fanart but not good enough for you to flesh out their relationship for ppl to care about? That's dumb as hell. For all that, she should've had them stay platonic. I'm not even a Chaggie shipper but the fact that the creator of this ship doesn't even care about them is disgusting. Nobody told her to make them happen. She did that herself.

Let's be honest, she's likely been on the internet long enough to know what shipping is, explaining her more cavalier attitude on fans shipping which used to be the norm. Her "ship what you want but don't be a dick to other people" attitude is precisely what old fandom used to be like before the influx of what I can only describe as normies decided they wanted to be a part of fandom.

See, the thing about the old internet (and by that I mean before the rise of mainstream social media platforms like Facebook, insta, Twitter, etc.) the internet by and large was by nerds for nerds. We kept the shit we liked online to ourselves irl and we definitely didn't talk directly to creators because it was understood that there was an invisible line we knew not to cross. You didn't harass actors or writers trying to get what you want. But the rise of mainstream meant the rise of accessibility to creators, and the trolls morphed into something much worse.

Look up the fiasco with Alex Brightman during the height of Beetlejuice on Broadway. The poor man was stalked, harassed, and asked over and over again if he condoned Beetlebabes, a ship which had kept that fandom alive for well over 30 years. Until he eventually released a statement so carefully combed over by PR experts only the people who lack media literacy took it at face value. It didn't reflect any previous attitudes he had on anything, and moreover it doesn't align with his current views considering the projects he's actively working on. In reality I don't think the man really gives a shit what people ship he was just sick of the harassment and likely worried that public outcries of him being a pedophile because of a fictional ship because he didn't actively condemn it and call for the harassment of people who did like it would ruin his career.

I have several friends who have come to hazbin from Beetlejuice, and many of them have met him pre pandemic. All of them say he's a lovely and sweet man with a good sense of humor. But imagine going through all he went through for over a year. Viv, and I hate to say it, went through something similar. I was pissed to find out toxic charlastor shippers on Twitter were harassing her to make it canon. So if that ship squicks her out now? I honestly don't blame her. Things are even more sticky with wlw or any gay relationships where you legitimately aren't allowed to portray them as complex or problematic. One thing I've noticed in particular is that male and straight ships are allowed to be as grossly sexualized as anything but women (or femme identified characters) cannot.

Look at all the chaggie art, not a single sexual thing. Even their official pinup stuff is fairly tame. Look at the Vees, despite the fact that velvette is an adult woman who died and is dating... Valentino I think? All the fandom sees is two gay dads and their uwu not sexually active daughter. Same with radioapple come to think of it, Charlie becomes a fully non sexual, almost Madonna figure in relation to the overt sexual nature of the gay ships. I'm guessing some of that still internalized homophobia and kink phobia coupled with sexist attitudes of what women can and cannot be interested in. Lesbian ships cannot be interested in sex, they must be pure and good. Meanwhile there's no end to overtly sexual art of the gay ships across the hellaverse. And the fans get rabid when any female ship isn't innately good and pure.

Another real world example; people flipped their shit when catradora became explicitly canon at the end of the she ra reboot. Because catra had gone through a corruption arc before a redemption one and therefore was forever culpable for the crimes she committed when in an obvious downward mental spiral after a life raised under an abusive mother figure and being abandoned by the person closest to her, and the major brainwashing of the Horde, but we don't have time to unpack all that. Ironic that in a show all about second chances and becoming better than the person you were these attitudes are still pervasive and ugly huh?

To a certain extent I think Viv has been on the internet long enough that she's seen what happens to creators who don't "perfectly" encapsulate a gay romance. Which means that it's unique while also being applicable to everyone. Totally an achievable standard right? (Insert sarcastic eye roll here). For her, I think making chaggie as boring in canon as possible was probably the safest move she could think of. I will critique it from a writing standpoint but overall it was the smartest choice to avoid backlash. I still prefer Vaggie/Emily and charlastor because it's two vastly most interesting dynamics, but I get why the writers might have been wary.

Sorry for the rant but unfortunately the depiction of chaggie wasn't created solely in a vacuum and there's a lot of cross fandom history context that needed to be brought up to explain why chaggie is the animated tofu of hazbin hotel ships.

[alatabouleau]

(5): But now “Oh, wait for season 2!” has been replaced by “Oh, wait for season 3!” and that is the reason. They know what we want, and they will put it off as long as they can still use this as a carrot on a stick to give them more views. More engagement. And with them, I mostly mean Amazon, because no matter the intention of the production team, this is why Amazon allowed it. And we take it as granted because we want this so bad. Which I totally, completely understand. Hadn’t I watched Doctor Who (2005) season 1 and Torchwood, I’d still be the same as you, I’d be head over heels for finally getting Ineffable Husbands canon and attentively waiting for season 3. But I did. And it made me realise that there’s always a choice. Because a wacky sci-fi-show from 2006 should not feel that revolutionary compared to something that came out 17 YEARS later. But it does. The way it portrays sexual and romantic attraction of any kind as a natural part of human existence without ever so much as batting an eye on it, the protagonist Captain Jack Harkness just being allowed to be male, the opposite of monosexual, polyamorous, vulnerable at times and talking about that one time he was pregnant and it just happens,… it still feels groundbreaking. So, this post is already way too long, so if you’re interested in more substantial theory behind the argument I wanted to invoke, I have here some recommendations for you: Alex Avila talking about what queerbaiting actually means: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vETVtkCqHLM

Rowan Ellis about why queer media often gets sad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nmebaoO0DE

VerilyBitchie about Russel T. Davies’s commentary on Loki’s bi-scene and his work in general: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaSV-IIoyAg&t=2512s

And about why Queer TV is getting worse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQY6iVJlAH0

I mean, you don’t have to, of course, but they bring all this across in a well-said manner that I never could bring here, so… I just hope you understand, I am not trying to cancel ANYONE. If someone uses this to harass another person, I do not condone that. I am just one bisexual girl on the internet who is mad at the status quo. And frustrated. And tired.

[cios-correct-opinions]

post here

DISCLAIMER BEFORE ANYONE SAYS OR ASSUMES ANYTHING ABOUT ME: i am not a proshipper. i am not an anti. i do not use any shipping discourse labels because i've been actively traumatized by both communities and have no desire to put that label on myself. i am just a person capable of critical thinking who enjoys analyzing media sometimes. i do not condone harassment over fiction, and i also do not believe any form of media is free from critical analysis or criticism, especially if it includes harmful propaganda and/or portrayals of marginalized peoples/societies which serve to perpetuate or legitimatize a pre-existing societal bias. do not call me an anti. do not call me a proshipper. do not assume things about me in bad faith. ive got no time for that and ill block you if you do this.

i actually think i kinda have a grasp on what's being said here so lemme explain this bc this is kinda how i feel? i'm gonna explain as best i can since its nearing 3 am and im a lil tired. forgive me if i dont explore every angle of nuance here btw again im tired but the adderall is in my blood so.

ahem.

my main talking point is this: there is a difference between exploration of something, which can include varying depictions and portrayals of a subject, vs propaganda for something, which has the intent of swaying you towards one side or away from one side or blah blah blah you know what propaganda wants to do i'm sure

exploration of dark and taboo subjects such as CSA/SA/abuse in general, paraphilias, mental illness, incest, so on and so forth - especially when done by survivors of those things - are almost never propaganda, no matter how they're being portrayed. someone using fictional characters within a fictional context to cope with their own trauma is, 99.9% of the time, not trying to endorse that behavior in real life. they also often assume the people reading it will understand that they the creator are not trying to endorse that behavior in real life.

example: most people who create fiction based off the mafia do not actually want to be mobsters, nor do they think others should be, nor do they endorse the real life mob, even if their portrayals can sometimes be problematic in other ways and/or contribute to certain problematic societal ideas about gang violence esp when committed by white people, but that's an entirely different issue than the one at hand and has more factors in play.

a deeper example: while a work of fiction can definitely reveal certain creator biases and/or how the creator feels about certain topics, it doesn't mean that every detail in the fiction is weighted the same way. someone may have clear biases towards, for example, women, in their work based on how they write their female characters, but not condone murder in that same work just because murder is part of the plot and/or is framed as a net positive in the storyline. you can have a work which clearly shows a creator's true feelings or thoughts or philosophies or what-have-you on one topic, but not on another, within the same work. learning which of these is true and when is a learned skill. i can't tell ya to do it myself as i am not a teacher

despite it seeming like it should be easy, on the other hand, spotting propaganda can actually be really fucking hard. i am not here to talk about how to spot propaganda, and perhaps will reblog this at a later date with links on how to do that as i am too tired to both write this and look for reliable resources on doing that, so if you want that for now, sorry, you gotta search elsewhere. however, this difficulty often leads to the main conflict i see online:

people believe that an exploration or portrayal of a dark/taboo subject or a subject which contains something that is immoral or illegal in real life, which does not outright condemn that thing, and/or appears on a surface level to be a "positive" portrayal (air quotes bc what counts as positive changes depending on who you ask) even when made by real-life survivors of the thing being explored, is the exact same as propaganda meant to push the emulation of that thing or behavior in real life, by real people, to real people/others/whatever.

this is the issue i and others keep running into online, over and over and over again. people are unable to tell the difference, they are unable to tell the target audience of a work, they are unable to understand why someone would make something a certain way, and ultimately the material upsets/triggers/disgusts/bothers/etc them, and all of this leads to them treating the first group of media like the second. because of that, they assume those creating that content are encouraging its real-world application and that the creators think these actions are okay, or that they will/want to/have perpetrated those acts in real life as well. once they've decided this, it's essentially impossible to convince them otherwise

ignoring the fact that you cannot make these assumptions about a stranger online in good faith literally ever, this is a huge problem. a nazi creating propaganda indoctrination white supremacist fantasy fiction material is nowhere near the same as a CSA & SA survivor creating works of dark fiction/art to cope with their trauma, but a lot of people consider it one and the same because they literally are incapable of seeing the difference. they can't analyze either work by either creator, and are unable to see how the nazi's fiction is different from the survivor's. even if the subjects portrayed in the works are different, too

these people will also insist that any humanization of a villain they deem "bad" or "problematic" enough - which, again, is dependent on who's making those decisions and not any kind of clear standard - means that the creator condones/believes/enjoys those things the villain does, and people who enjoy that character also condone/believe/enjoy those things the villain does. the ultimate irony of it all, of course, is that these people are consuming the exact same media with the exact same characters and exact same story and exact same plotline as the people they are attacking, and many of those people also enjoyed that media. they just seem to think because they enjoy blorbo blingus The Good Guy(tm) instead of zorbo zingle The Bad Guy(tm), that makes them morally superior instead of, yknow, just someone with a different opinion who is reading/watching with a different lens than someone else

obsession with moral purity, moral superiority, and in general an abstract concept of morality, is what has ultimately led us here. in an attempt to be seen as "acceptable" by the masses of the world - regardless of whether they participate in fandom or not - for whatever reason one has, has led some of us to turn on each other within fandom spaces

fear of predatory abusers lurking in the shadows, as well as an inability to actually identify the signs of a predatory abuser caused by a society whose goal is largely to protect those same predatory abusers, as well as a sadly large and growing number of victims of abuse growing up online and sometimes being abused and/or preyed on online (as i myself was) who thus are hypervigilant for this sort of thing due to their own trauma, has all led to a willingness to attack and destroy anyone we think might possibly maybe sorta kinda be a little suspicious without a second thought to the actual probability of that person's guilt, as well as the inability to stop and ask ourselves what we're really doing when we attack people over fictional portrayals of things as well as whether or not these fictional hypothetical transgressions are truly worth destroying someone's livelihood and life over or whether they're something we can simply block and ignore and not worry about

simply liking or disliking something in media has become a source of literal panic attacks for a lot of people because they drive themselves mad looking for a "good, moral, logical reason" to like or dislike something rather than just accepting it for what it is

our lack of understanding combined with an unwillingness to be open to the possibility of alternative interpretations for anything has driven people to commit atrocities. someone is literally dying right now because of it. actively dying. will die soon. because of antis deciding their creations meant it was okay to lie about them being a pedophile (they weren't), get them fired from their job due to these false claims, resulting in them losing their health care, which has 4 years down the road, resulted in their eventual death.

we. must. do. better.

[proship-selfship]

something most would point one is: despite ppl harassing and accusing ppl for shipping or liking problematic things, yet they watch/read/like certain media that has those same elements

and yeah cause when u think about it: it doesn't matter if it's portrayed differently in the media(whether as an exaggerated joke, satire, reconstruction, or serious). they still used those elements regardless

and if the reason you're willing to excuse that is because: you can like a show while being critical of its problematic elements, not excusing it IRL. what makes you think proshippers and kinksters can't do the same when they ship/draw/write the same things, even in a romanticizing way

I'll keep saying this until it gets through people's heads, "proship" doesn't mean "problematic ship", it's an adjective meaning "being in favour of 'ship and let ship', and rejecting harassment over ships".

Second of all, of course proship folk don't condone stuff like incest and SA in real life, and kinky folk also understand that their kinks are not acceptable outside of fantasy or what their partner consents to during sex. That's why in fiction, it's safe and legal to play with these concepts because nobody outside of these fictional characters is involved. Is it to scratch an itch or to cope with trauma? That's nobody's fucking business. Trying to worm your way into other people's business over whatever fap rag or ship dynamic they happen to enjoy is weird, you look like a creep. Be normal and mind your business.

[derschwarzeengel]

This is the one and only post I’m making on the matter, considering I have both her and halliwhell blocked, but re: magicrested and her DNI callout:

I get having squicks, but a lot of this comes off as anti-kink/anti-sex in general. As for being anti-omegaverse, whatever, you do you. Regarding incest: nobody in the RPC who writes Sam/Dean Wincest or has fictional incest ships, generally speaking, supports it IRL or wants that relationship for themselves. Just because you write something in fiction does not mean you condone or support the thing IRL, or else Stephen King, George R. R. Martin, V.C. Andrews, and every romance erotica or horror / suspense novelist ever would be in real trouble. (I don’t write incest on my blog myself because it’s a squick for me, but SALS & YKINMKATO for those who do.)

Yes, I write smut; yes, Damon has a breeding/impregnation kink; but mun =/= muse and as such, 95% of Damon's kinks are very much not my kinks (that includes his breeding kink).

As for the rest of that DNI callout, some much-needed context:

From ~2018 - early 2020, magicrested and I were in a Charmed RPC Discord server run by Shay/melliwell/halliwhell/triquetrae. This server was remade at least once, and magicrested left the server completely in 2019; I left the same server months later in early 2020.

I was not shy about the fact I write/read darkfic, am Irish-American & German-American (among other ethnicities, which I am not detailing here), and Pagan. Everybody else in the server knew this, and knew that not only had I grown up with German exchange teachers & students living with my family every couple of years, I studied the language in high school, was part of a two-way exchange group through my high school's German language program, and was minoring in German at Uni during that time.

magicrested and I had never really interacted IC that much to begin with on her Wyatt Halliwell blog and my Chris Halliwell blog; most of our interactions were OOC. After she left the Discord server, I eventually unfollowed her on Tumblr and ceased contact.

That being said, let's break this down.

"a history of racist [...] behavior"

This claim stems from one (1) occasion of me, an Irish-American, being irritated at Irish characters in US-American media stereotypically being portrayed as drunks, cops, or having ties to the IRA and explaining further about the IRA's convoluted history and The Troubles when asked. It also stems from me, a German-American who knows the language, occasionally code-switching into German in the chat (with translations) or sharing songs and clips from German musical theater.

One such clip was a Turkish-German musical theater actor (Serkan Kaya) performing a brilliant jazz cover of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean"; I was familiar with Kaya through his role as Luigi Lucheni in the 2005 Wien/Vienna production of Elisabeth. The response to this cover in the server? Absolute crickets. The moment someone else in the server posted a video of a white US-American YouTuber they liked performing a cover? Instant squeeing.

The mod, Shay, admitted in a DM with one of my friends (who was also in the server) that people didn't know what to make of me German-posting. To which my friend responded: "...she's German, Shay." (Yet nobody apparently had an issue with the mod occasionally code-switching into her family's native language. Only with me and German.)

"a history of pedophilic behavior"

This claim absolutely, 100% stems from me calling most of the server out on their misuse of the word "pedophilia" regarding a scene from Riverdale, a TV series aimed at the 18 - 49 demographic with adult actors portraying fictional teenagers that range from 16 - 18 years in age as the show goes on.

People in the server were freaking out over one of the teenage characters having a sex scene with another teenage character + one teenage character doing essentially a pole dance as part of an initiation into The Serpents gang.

I pointed out that adult actors portraying fictional teenagers meant that zero (0) real-life pre-pubescent children were being harmed or shown in sexual situations, and to quote The Princess Bride: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." And that, actually, the term they were looking for was either "child pornography" or "CSEM" . . . except this was not that either, because zero real-life children were being depicted in a sexual situation. It was adult actors portraying fictional 16 - 17 year olds for a scripted television show that aired on The CW.

Naturally, they Did Not Like That.

"romanticizing rape"

This one made me LOL when I saw it, because oooh boy, this is rich coming from a mun who made a point of headcanoning that her evil!Wyatt does not care about sexual consent from his partners and will fuck whoever he wants regardless. Which is, y'know, rape if Wyatt's partners didn't consent.

Anyway, like I said, Maddie/magicrested knew fully well that I wrote darkfic + had an anon thread on my Chris blog where an adult, changed!future Chris is kidnapped and repeatedly raped by a female demon under threat of her going after and killing his family if he didn't submit to her + psychologically does whatever he can to survive. However, everything explicit was under a "read more", and all my darkfic (some of which has non-con/dub-con) + this anon thread were all tagged and warned for appropriately.

(For the record, this was far from the only thread/fic in the Charmed fandom that features an adult!Chris Halliwell being turned into a sex slave for a she-demon ... or evil!Wyatt Halliwell ... or a male demon / witch.)

As for my writing Damon, I repeatedly warn and fully acknowledge that some of what he does when assigned to a Whitelighter-to-be can be considered rape by deception and/or reproductive coercion. It also states repeatedly on my blog that NSFW material appears here, both my muse and I are over the age of 25. If you read all that and still are offended, then that's on you. You were warned. Dead Dove: Do Not Fucking Eat.

Anyway, gods forbid that I write my Darklighter OC doing things that Darklighters, canonically, are shown or stated to engage in, including assassinations, casual murder, and having lots of sex with female Whitelighters-to-be with the intention of siring a Darklighter child to raise for evil.

That being said, I do find it hilarious that apparently, it's perfectly okay for magicrested to write her evil!Wyatt doing dark, fucked-up shit in a canonical alternate timeline where he has grown up to be the Ruler of All Evil and San Francisco is in ruins, yet I cannot write Damon, a Darklighter, doing things Darklighters have canonically been described or depicted doing per their species’ jobs. Because I'm a filthy heathen sinner, apparently, and am not writing dark things the correct or moral way. /s

It's also very funny to me that occasionally, magicrested and melliwell/halliwhell would make posts lamenting about the lack of Darklighter / demon / warlock OCs in the Charmed RPC, but the instant I started writing Damon, it was like, "No, not you".

As for the rest of this DNI callout for another user "romanticizing homosexuality": If this is the mun/Charmed RP blog I think it is, the mun is a gay man, you fucking walnut. Just wait till you hear about BL and bara / gei komi manga.

re: "gender-bent tam or kat": Rule 63 has been a thing since the early days of the Internet, if not long before then. Charmed has a whole episode that Rule 63's Prue, FFS. Genderbends are not in and of themselves transphobic, and anyone who says that they are 1) is full of shit, and 2) doesn't know their history.

Anybody who read this and decides to send anon hate / harass me over it is immediately being blocked and reported, so don't even bother.

[fcb3]

But what can we do to help prevent Sexual Violence?

We can all begin by educating ourselves, so here is a list to offer some answers. I hope everyone takes the time to read it…..

75 ways to prevent Sexual Violence

1. Respect a person’s right to say no to sexual activity

2. Lobby for victim-centered sexual assault laws

3. Speak out against all forms of violence

   4. Educate yourself on the issues

   5. Admit that it does happen in your community

   6. Intervene if you witness sexually abusive behavior

   7. Advocate for victim’s rights

   8. Lean about sexual harassment

9. Avoid engaging in, supporting or encouraging sexual assault            

10. Believe and support survivors of sexual violence

11. Know the statistics

12. Avoid blaming the victim

13. Believe in equality

14. Be aware of how violence is portrayed in the media

15. Speak out against the media’s glorification of sexual violence

16. Advocate for more rape prevention education

  programs

17. Understand that sexual violence affects us all

18. Talk to your teens about healthy, respectful relationships

19. Stop others from slipping a date rape drug into someone’s drink

20. Know that sexual violence is about power and control

21. Model respectful behaviors for others

22. Know the sexual assault laws

23. Believe a safer world is possible

24. Participate in sexual assault awareness month activities in April

25. Teach kids that violence is not the answer

26. Donate to organizations that serve survivors

27. Put a sexual violence prevention sticker on your car

28. Sponsor a fund raiser for our local sexual assault program

29. Avoid making threats or using coercion and pressure to get sex

30. Educate your child about safe and unsafe touching

31. Wear a sexual assault prevention T-shirt

32. Speak out against sexist jokes

33. Start an email campaign

34. Know and share community resources for sexual assault survivors

35. Advocate for more youth violence prevention programs

36. Know that it can happen to anyone

37. Write a letter to the editor of your newspaper

38. Write an article for your school paper or workplace newsletter

39. Get others to speak out against sexual violence

40. Say something if a friend brags about sexually aggressive behavior

41. Get help if you are being sexually harassed

42. Stop your sexual advances if the other person says no

43. Encourage others to do the same

44. Avoid buying music that glorifies sexual violence

45. Urge your local radio stations to stop playing music that contain lyrics that objectify women

46. Applaud others who speak out against sexual violence

47. Invite a speaker from your local assault center

48. Pledge to never commit or condone acts of sexual violence

49. Call for help is you witness an act of violence

50. Respect the choices victims make to survive

51. Stop others from taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated

52. Let others know you think it’s wrong to demean someone  

53. Know your school’s workplace policies on sexual violence and harassment

54. Engage others in discussions about sexual violence

55. Challenge assumptions

56. Break the silence

57. Know that men can be sexually assaulted

58. Know the rights of victims

59. Empower and Advocate

60. Be open to change

61. Reach out

62. Have compassion

63. Find your voice

64. Respect other’s boundaries

65. Report it if you witness sexual harassment in your school or workplace

66. Educate – Talk about it

67. Know that most sex offenders aren’t strangers

68. Support a friend

69. Learn about date rape drugs and how to avoid them

70. Get the facts, tell others

71. Stay alert and aware

72. Reinforce that rape is never the victim’s fault

73. Protect yourself

74. Respect your partner or significant other

75. Know that you have the power to make a difference

[peacefulworld2003feelthegroove]

The issue I have with sharing my writing is many things but one of them is the fact that so many people on the internet legitimately cannot get it through their head that just because something is portrayed in any way in media, that doesn't mean the writer condones it.

For example, in my wolrdbuilding, eugenics is very much a both current and historical issue in dragon culture, due to the cultural obsession with bloodlines, lineages and constantly trying to biologically one up eachother. The issue has transformed multiple times as society changes, historically, dragons who were considered undesirable would be socially outcast from courting and therefore breeding. In the "modern" day, they can be fined regardless of where they live by an old land government section if they "preserve illegal traits" by having children if they carry traits now outlawed. The modern day issue is treated as complex as it is, because the laws were put in place due to dragons specifically breeding themselves for traits that often lead to lower quality of life and/or chronic health issues and disability, so the government stepped in to ensure nobody was studding themselves out to have a bunch of babies being the dragon equivalent to pugs. Regardless of intent, eugenics is eugenics, and the price to pay a fine more often impacts dragons who had accidental pregnancies, did not or could not research their family tree (ex: adopted, has no idea about recessive traits), or just really wanted to have kids with their lover, whereas rich old families who continue the issue boldly can easily pay off the fees and continue.

I love writing complex political issues into my fantasy stories- but some of you people genuinely cannot understand even simple issues so I fear for readers that would assume the positions my charicters have on this debate would reflect mine- furthermore, I fear how people who only think in black and white would process an issue like the one provided which has no clear answer, with both polar sides resulting in issue. (One side of the pendulum plays god like a backyard breeder with their own family, resulting with offspring who will face at the very least chronic pain, and be marked by the very same law their parents overrode, and probably be arranged into a marage and continue the cycle- and the other gets to choose who gets to have children and who doesn't based on health. Both are wrong, IMO, but there's no easy way to deal with the issue.)

[thewriterowl]

Hiya owl!

I wanted to reach out because I'm sure you've seen your name come up a few times over all this drama this past weekend. I see your name come up a lot but I'm not sure if anyone has ever come directly to you to ask your perspective. I thought that seemed fair.

The things that seem to come up the most are a racist/xenophobic/prejudiced depiction of Din as a character being portrayed by a Latino man, and a forced heterosexist depiction of Din and Luke's relationship.

I've read some of your fics. I am latinx myself, and I will admit I have been uncomfortable with the way that Din is always portrayed not only as "dominant" but as an aggressor, including in your fics. This has led me to stop reading your fics. Have you ever thought on this before? Have you considered trying to maybe talk to some latinx people outside of your fcircle to make sure that Din isn't being portrayed in a way that makes many latinx people uncomfortable?

And Luke does always seem to be kind of placed into a more submissive role, sort of Grogu's primary caregiver while Din leads and leaves. And he always submits to Din.

I genuinely am trying to ask this graciously, so I'm sorry if any tone comes across as otherwise.

Is this blanket throughout? No. And it's not like it's just your fics. But I thought it was only fair to you to get your perspective.

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me; you’re actually the first person to reach out directly. I’ve been seeing everything going on, but without someone tagging me or messaging me directly I feel a little weird just shoving myself into the conversation. I do appreciate you reaching out.

I want to put a “spoiler” break here just to make it easier for people scrolling who may or may not want to read further.

I’ve loved dark content for years- not sure what it is about it, if it’s dealing with my own trauma or exploring concepts that I would in no way condone in real life but are still interesting to think about. Probably a pretty even mix, like most other people who read dark content. Like any other trope in fiction, it’s a tool for the brain. In this case, a tool for exploring things that we would have no control over in real life, but in fiction we can.

I understand that fiction does not exist in a vacuum. The stereotypes that western media has put on POC characters, and the impact that has on the real world, won’t just disappear in the blink of an eye. But at the same time I believe in separating the fictional character from the real world person playing them. I would hope most writers would do the same, although I can’t speak for everyone. What I mean by this is when I write fanfic, I’m not thinking of Pedro Pascal the real person. Yes, I might look at other things he’s been in for inspiration, but that’s the same as taking something that a friend said or did and using it as the base for a fictional scene. When I write fanfic, I’m strictly thinking of Din Djarin, fictional character, and putting him into various “what if” scenarios, with certain aspects of the character as he’s written exaggerated. So when I write dark stories, I’m thinking of the part of Din Djarin who cut a man in half when he didn’t need to, who left a man to be eaten alive, who shot at jawas, or who was at least on some level willing to hand Grogu over to an unknown fate for beskar. Those are things he’s done in canon, just as much as him going out of his way to help a village, taking the time to learn the language of the Tuskens in order to safely and respectfully pass through their land, and breaking his creed in order to save Grogu are also things he’s done in canon. Different au settings are going to heighten different aspects of his character. This is true of any and all fictional characters and all that I have written about in the past and probably will in the future. 

This is also based on discussion with other people. I have actually shared conversations in regards to this, to go over comfort, tagging, what it is about dark content, and its impact in regards to a character like Din. I have, honestly, only received support.

In the same vein, I have a similar outlook on the dynamic of a relationship. It genuinely is nothing more than “this is how I’m portraying these two characters, and this is the general relationship dynamic that I’m using for this particular story.”

The way that I write characters, no matter which fandom they’re for, is absolutely never intended to be malicious. I never want anyone to be hurt by my stories. It’s why I use as many tags as I do, so that anyone reading can look at the tags, look at the summary, and decide whether or not it’s something they feel comfortable engaging with. I am also always open to hearing what people think of the tagging system as well (one reason I always tag my asks as “owl inbox” so they can be filtered easier). 

I am, though, always sorry if my writing has ever been uncomfortable. I do not want that. I know I cannot make everyone happy or comfortable and I am trying to accept that, be happy with what I can provide for my own sanity, and be open for discussion. I hope you continue to do what makes you happy and feel better within this community because, all in all, it is a really positive one. People are so passionate and supportive and protective of each other--it can be easy to see it overwhelming and triggering to anxieties (as I know a massive amount to us has) but I honestly see more good in it than anything negative. I also love seeing the wave of soft and fluffy content coming out and the content of dark/sith/top Luke (even if it’s not for me) because I see that as more for more people.

Honestly, I could go on a bit about everything--my first response was nearly 3k words as I panic and just want to explain and reach out and try to avoid hurting anyone if possible. I still don’t know, and I worry, that my thoughts and everything will be understood. But with help got it cut down in hopes that it helps answer the questions you provided, anon. I don’t know if it helped or cleared anything but I hope it did some.

[fandomeldersintheirthirties]

Why do you think proshipping is okay? I am very curious to hear your thoughts /gen

Because "don't like, don't look" is a fandom default for me. Because proshipping doesn't mean you HAVE to ship underage, incest or any other "gross ships", you just don't get to police what others can and can not do.

If the antis really think something they see on the internet is against the law or against the rules of a hosting site, the right thing to do is to report it to the authorities. But as far as I'm aware, fictional characters are not protected by any laws that apply to real human beings. The antis are just yelling at the clouds thinking they can change the weather.

You can't hold amateur work and fan theories to the same standards as mass media, but still there are more nuances on portrayal of "problematic" and "gross" topics some people just don't get. Some people in the fandoms nowadays think that if you don't portray a black and white world with a saturday morning cartoon moral on what is bad and what is good, it means you condone it. Which is a really fucked up viewpoint.

Anyway even a mass media does not instantly change how people act. They can strenghten the already existing stereotypes and fears (infamous "WhaT aBoUt JAWS?" argument from people who don't realize the movie wouldn't have that much impact if they made it about bunnies) but you gotta admit statements like "D&D is making kids worship Satan" or "Squid Games is making kids commit suicides" are plain dumb, untrue and most of the time are ignoring the bigger problems ("why kids turn to escapism?", "why kids in pandemics are going suicidal?"). But if a mass media gets a massive backslash for its portrayal of certain things (and still - backslash means criticism not sending death threats to the author), this is going to go viral. If a few of people on social media bullies a few other people on social media? Wow congratulations for achieving nothing but being a dick to a stranger!

Okay I went for a long post here. So? Leave people alone. Rule 34 and other "gross stuff" has always been there and always will be, people just need to re-learn how to avoid it. Report it if you think it breaks the hosting site's rules/law. Block tags/people who make content that makes you uncomfortable. Don't be a dick because bullying people over fiction achieves nothing.

[theliterarywolf]

Sam anon again. Many actual voodoo practitioners are happy that the tattoos were removed because they were inaccurate and apparently if you're not from the religion you shouldn't use them, but this still sounds dishonest from Disney to me because the multi-billion dollar company chose to erase a part of specific black culture instead of hiring people to redesign it, which they easily could have. Respect? My ass, to me it screams EW BLACK RELIGION TOO COMPLICATED AND FUSSY TO PORTRAY FUCKING ERASE IT ALL TO MAKE IT MORE PALATABLE TO US AUDIENCES. And I'd like to see if they'll do the same thing with the future Christian references.

Anonymous asked:

Sam's bones were removed because it's considered offensive when those tattoos are done by none-practitioners, so it was to BE respectful. I think Sam being changed is nontroversy

Anonymous asked:

Why didn't Disney I don't fucking know HIRE A CONSULTANT WHO ACTUALLY PRACTICES VOODOO TO REDESIGN THE TATTOOS RATHER THAN JUST REMOVING THEM

Here are the reasons why this whole thing bothers me.

1. Disney originally approved this game in the first place. Yana Toboso may be the creator but Disney had to approve the use of their aesthetics and IPs. So they obviously had to see and sign-off on all of the character designs since this is using aesthetics and motifs from their IPs.

Why didn't they say 'Hey, can you change this?' before?

2. Why didn't the western fanbase try to make this complaint known to Disney/Yana Toboso beforehand? I swear, western fans of things will go out of their way to try an harass an anime studio over Yasahime for 'you're condoning pedophilia, reeee', but actual matters like this just results in 'I'm sorry, I don't know how to use contact information all of a sudden'.

3. Following that last point, it reeks of fans gladly letting a problem fester so they'll have something to complain about rather than making their concerns known in a calm, rational way. I am, once again, reminded of how a section of this hellsite went after Himaruya Hidekazu when in a chapter of Hetalia, he wrote about Emperor Heliogabalus of Rome -- 'The Roman Emperor Who "Lived Life as a Woman" (Though He Was Really a Guy)' -- and rather than contact him to say 'whoa, my buddy, my friend, this is kind of transphobic' (and Himaruya had an open-blog for letters and fanmail that he took in both English and Japanese at the time so they had no excuse), they just sat around and whinged.

4. Disney, you can go above and beyond to make sure that your IPs based on other cultures are accurate and respectful while still being present, but when it comes to anything black or African it's just better to erase anything problematic rather than re-examining and re-approaching? Alright, cool. That's cool.

5. Why is it okay for so much of media to use gaudy sprinklings of Christian and Hindu iconography without research or respect but this is a big no-no and it has to be removed for 'respect' reasons?

6. Are the tattoos not still there in the Japanese version of the game so what is the point?

At the end of the day, they can do whatever they want because, of course, this is Disney and they don't want any controversy and they want to make sure that people will watch the TWST anime they're going to make for Disney+. But I personally think that the whole this is a none-issue that got turned into an issue and the handling of it reads like

[teeth-farie]

idk. i think they’re at least a little different because one is usually used to vent trauma or provide a space for people to vent trauma or interact with taboo subjects without condoning it, but for the ddg situation it was like literally using characters that were, at the very least, heavily portrayed as siblings and saying they are incestuous, which, for me at least, is closer to condoning incest because it’s using a ‘real’ situation instead of fabricating one, if that makes sense. also them defending it by saying “demons do incest” big big big big yikes. like who decided demons do incest wtf. especially because they weren’t a dark blog in the first place, and allowed minors in.

Ok. I’m gonna answer this seriously and address a few of the things you just said.

Firstly- “venting”. Creating incest porn isn’t venting, it’s creating incest porn. The vent and trauma media we always see talked about as a coping mechanism is something that needs to be monitored by a therapist- meaning if you’re going to be using that coping mechanism, it needs to be handled by a therapist because it can quickly go from ‘this is what happened to me and this art is expressing that’ to ‘these are two siblings fucking’. Also not to mention that coping art isn’t supposed to be posted for the entire internet to see, it’s meant to be a personal and therapeutic method. If your coping art or writing is then posted to the internet and people comment on how hot is was, it’s not coping media. It’s porn.

Also just by saying a blog tags and labels themselves as a dark blog doesn’t make their content any different. Same product different packaging.

Ddg should have tagged it, or at least made a side blog to prevent people who didn’t want to see it from seeing it. But they didn’t. They had a large following and made no implication that they were into demoncest, and then posted about it in the most nonchalant way which is going to make people upset. (As I mentioned before, you can post whatever but don’t expect people to take it politely)

And ddg didn’t get ‘shut down’. They deleted their own blog on their own accord after receiving backlash. They posted that media and bragged about making people upset, but in the end they couldn’t take the heat they were dishing out. That’s not my problem and I don’t care

Again- you can write and post whatever you want, but that also means people on the internet can, well, act like people on the internet and do what they do best. Be a bully