#or if anyone has the train model ripped and would like to post some nice side views please

[redrockbluerock]

So, Balan's Train.

What exactly is it?

Prior to researching, It felt familiar, like I'd seen something like it before.

Let's follow my adventure on this under the cut

I first asked @maestri-of-mystery about this, and got the answer "It's custom". Rather vague.

Unsatisfied with that answer, I begun doing research myself.

Just by looking at it, here's what we can definitively conclude.

-Its a steam engine, given the copious amounts of steam coming from it.

-It's a tender engine- the coal and water are kept in a separate, special car.

-It appears to be streamlined like some US engines (Different countries had different shapes used)

-It's a passenger engine. It's got... nine passenger cars, from my counting.

Since I don't have access to the in-game model itself, I cannot definitively say what the wheels look like... or give any steam-less images of the train for analysis.

However, all that does give us some ideas for trains to look at

The models I found that it resembles somewhat are...

B&O P7 class, N&W J class, and the PRR K4 class.

(Pictured engines are #5301 President Adams [scrapped], #611 Spirit of Roanoke [preserved] and #3768 Torpedo [scrapped])

None of them seem to be an exact match, however.

Which leads me to the conclusion that, with our current known information, it is in fact a custom engine with a basis on one of these, if not another similar engine with a different wheel arrangement.

It's custom, as Mystery had indeed said.

As far as we know for now, at least.

[alicepao13]

Rating the Kommissar Rex/Il Commissario Rex/Hudson and Rex human partners for funsies, in chronological order. Contains spoilers, some bias, and opinions based on superficial characteristics. I will take the blame for any distorted memories I have of the shows, although I did a full rewatch last summer. (Rewatch refers to Kommissar Rex and Hudson and Rex. I could only watch Il Commissario Rex once. Well, 0.75 times. I couldn’t find some of the episodes.)

Kommissar Rex

Richard Moser: The blueprint. Not necessarily the best one in my opinion (although if you ask kid me, yes), but they modeled at least two other characters after him in the reboots. Pretty nice (although a product of his time), street smart, recently divorced, and the first few episodes where he and Rex are getting used to living together are hilarious. Moser’s dry humor was good too, also his whump scenes where great. And I appreciated the nude scenes a lot (thanks, German tv of the 90s). 8/10

Alex Brandtner: The hot one. Also, more of a “new age” cop (new age here means post 90s, don’t get confused). Kid me didn’t appreciate the hotness but I watched it in my teen years, and oh boy. And the action scenes, while sometimes ridiculous and making you wonder why???, really showed the actor’s training in physical scenes too. I always liked the way Brandtner immediately bonded with Rex and then we learn of the tragedy with his own dog. Too bad his love life was even more non-existent than Moser’s. 9/10

Marc Hoffmann: I’ll be honest, I just didn’t care for him for the most part, but I did like the fact that for the first time there was a ship with him and Nikki. They went for a different style with this one and it shows. Marc is less type A than the previous two, not a bad thing, but by that point, it was clear that Kommissar Rex as a show was nearing its end and I think it sometimes showed. 7/10

-----

Il Commissario Rex (At this point, let me just say that I don’t associate the two shows with each other. And whoever has watched both, would probably agree with me. It hardly matters that the Italian show starts as a spinoff.)

Lorenzo Fabbri: Ugh, I don’t know what it is with this guy but I didn’t like him much. His style was a lot like Moser at first (adopting Rex, saving him from a miserable fate, learning to live with him, etc.). I absolutely hated the storyline with the forensics scientist throwing herself at him every chance she got and him trying to avoid her instead of flat out telling her he’s not interested, and then at some point they slept together??? Anyway, did not like. 6/10

Davide Rivera: I liked that guy but sadly we didn’t have that many episodes with him. He could have had more to offer as a character. More quiet than the sometimes too loud Lorenzo, and took some time to warm up to Rex if I recall. I liked that he took no flack from his boss (Sidenote: the boss didn’t like Rex at first and kept wanting to get rid of him, and I wanted to rip him to shreds). 7/10

Marco Terzani: I literally found one season of his episodes, so I’ll reserve judgment (if anyone has his second and third season, please give it to me lol or point to the right direction). He seems kinda reckless? He’s definitely attractive. ?/10, more research needed.

----

Hudson and Rex

Charlie Hudson: Started off as kind of mediocre for me, then he made me change my mind. When I started watching, I was hellbent on comparing every single thing of this show to the characters of the original at first, so I’m partially to blame for my initial perception of him. However, I won’t blame myself for the bad writing, pacing, and overall mediocrity of S1 that contributed to a big part of it. Anyway, they used some of Moser’s backstory (divorced, adopts Rex after his K-9 partner tragically dies) and expanded on it. Charlie has had the most development as a character than any of the others, which makes sense since he’s the first of Rex’s partners to live that long or not get rebooted lol. He definitely gets bonus points for having a love life too. And for not dying, despite all the whump situations he gets himself into. Definitely falls under the reckless category too. 70% himbo, 100% whump magnet. 9/10

[fahrni]

Saturday Morning Coffee

Good morning from Charlottesville, Virginia! ☕️

I’ve been really busy at work lately but it’s felt really good overall. Sure I’m feeling a little pressure and I’m a bit stressed but that’s par for the course.

A random aside. There was a time when I did a Movie Line of the Week post on this here blog. It’s been seen from time to time but I thought I’d throw one in here this week.

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”

I love this film. It’s a great action comedy.

I hope you enjoy the links.

ESPN

Dick Butkus, arguably the fiercest Monster of the Midway, has died at age 80, the Chicago Bears announced Thursday.

This man was an animal on the football field. I for one loved that style of play. I know it’s not great but I can’t help it. When I played football I always wanted to make folks remember I hit them. Problem was, I was a beanpole and was the one getting hammered! 🤣

RIP Mr. Butkus. 🪦

Matt Mullenweg

This month, Automattic had the privilege of working with the Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society (BKC) to migrate their early 2000s blogging platform over to our Pressable infrastructure.

I’m really happy to see WordPress do this. There was a time when it seemed the Berkman content would just disappear.

Thank you Matt and WordPress! ❤️

Dr Katie Mack • BBC Science Focus

The James Webb Space Telescope has captured images of ancient galaxies that shouldn’t exist. A cosmologist explains what could be going on.

I love science. That about sums it up for me. We’ve now explored further than ever before and are finding new and interesting things to understand! 🔭

Sharon Adarlo • Futurism

Microsoft’s data centers in West Des Moines, Iowa guzzled massive amounts of water last year, the Associated Press reported earlier this month, to keep cool while training OpenAI’s ChatGPT-4, the Microsoft-backed company’s most advanced publicly available large language model.

It’s time for someone to work on a new cooling system for these data centers or stop doing what they’re doing.

Just burn the world down in the name of shareholder value! 🔥

Joseph Foley • Creative Bloq

Bad news for anyone using Unreal Engine for VFX or animation. Epic Games has confirmed that it will begin charging industries outside gaming to use of the 3D graphics engine next year. Fees will be charged on a per-seat basis.

I wonder how Hollywood is going to react to this news?

Also, isn’t Unreal Engine amazing? 🎥

The Register

In a sane world, such massive, sustained incompetence coupled with warning signs a mole rat could see from Mars would have killed Twitter by now, with Musk’s rep as a hands-on CEO on a par with Uri Geller’s as a metalworker.

Yeah, a Space Karen appearance. I have so darned many pieces stashed in Pocket about the man I need to do another Musk Files post.

Can someone please convince the man to sell the twitter.com domain to them and fire up a Mastodon instance? 🐘

By Trisha Thadani,  Rachel Lerman,  Imogen Piper,  Faiz Siddiqui and  Irfan Uraizee • The Washington Post

Teslas guided by Autopilot have slammed on the brakes at high speeds without clear cause, accelerated or lurched from the road without warning and crashed into parked emergency vehicles displaying flashing lights, according to investigation and police reports obtained by The Post.

It’s time to remove “self-driving” and “assisted driving” technologies from cars until they’re proven to work.

Yeah, I’m a curmudgeon. 👴🏼

Jonathan Prynn • Evening Standard

First look inside Apple’s spectacular offices at Battersea Power Station

Now this is a cool looking office. It’s nice to see Apple renovate something instead of doing a new new build. More companies should do this. 👍🏼

John Yoon and Orlando Mayorquin • The New York Times

The authorities in Baltimore on Wednesday said they had not located any suspects or made any arrests after five people, including four students, were shot and injured on the Morgan State University campus on Tuesday night.

The fun epidemic in America continues. 😔

HILARY HOWARD and PATRICK McGEEHAN • The New York Times

The limit on the capacity of the city’s network of drains, pipes and water-treatment plants is the main reason New Yorkers across all five boroughs suffered through flooding. And this probably will not be the city’s last bout with heavy flooding as it plays catch-up with the pace of climate change, experts said.

Climate change is coming home to roost. I suppose it has been for a while now but it gets a lot of attention when a major American city gets hit.

I feel pretty gloomy about our future as a species. ⛈️

George Carden • The Argus

Shock as yew tree which ‘predates the Battle of Hastings’ felled

Two ancient trees felled in a weeks time. What is wrong with people?

Don’t they know we need more trees, not fewer? 🌳

[alovesongshewrote]

If you’re taking requests, maybe something about Doux finding the reader absolutely delirious from lack of sleep? I may or may not have gotten literally any sleep last night and although I managed to get through my morning routine pretty efficiently I FEEL my body just wiping out. I will be comatose within the hour.

Sleep, Darling | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot:  you’ve been awake for too long and it is not doing you any favours.  Thank god for punk wizards who care about your wellbeing, amirite lads?  (Also, the pure Irony that this is getting posted at like, 2:40 am where i am, rip me i guess)

Word Count: 2,292

Warnings:  A bit of blood is mentioned in passing, the reader isn’t human and probably has adhd or smthn.  Also, Friends is mentioned, like, the tv show, so that’s a thing!

A/N:   if you look closely, you can actually see me projecting onto this one.  I hope you got some sleep anon.

Tags:   @furblrwurblr @einahpetsyarcip @sorrels-scribbling @anxious-stitcher @alive-and-afraid @animedweeb333 @douxiesdamsel @saroski05

Time isn’t real.  It’s a social construct made to bring order to the general chaos that is human existence.  That was why you were up at 5 a.m for the second, maybe third, night in a row.  Was it healthy?  Probably not, but you didn’t need sleep, you needed answers.  Answers to what?  Who knows at this point, honestly.

You couldn’t say you were surprised when you finally noticed the late, or early hour.  You just shrugged it off and went “fuck it, all-nighter,” which was fine for the moment.  But time’s a bitch, and that moment was over pretty fast.  By noon, you were ready to collapse.  The three cups of coffee did not help.  Instead, they made you vibrate at a frequency that could quite possibly break glass.  As much as this sucked for you, it was worse for your lovely friend and co-worker, Hisirdoux Casperan.

Now, our boi Douxie was and is madly in love with you, but shhh, it’s a secret.  You also love him, and that’s a secret too.  Neither of these secrets are well kept, and the only reason you aren’t together is general stupidity.  Literally, anyone else who watches the two of you interacting can tell that you're in love.  Hell, half the town assumes you’re together already.  The other half keeps trying to get you together.  It is not working very well.  But that’s all a digression.  What you really need to know is that Douxie loves you and watching you suffer from a lack of sleep was Not A Pleasant Experience.  You were delirious, shaky, and constantly off-balance.  You could work well enough, but it was clear that your health was not in the same zone.

The final straw came when you cut your hand on broken glass.  You’d dropped a cup, and instead of using magic, you’d tried to fix the mess by hand.  That plan did not work, and you received a bloody slash across your palm for your troubles.

“Ah.  Fuck,” you said, thinking you were whispering but instead speaking at a normal volume.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“‘S nothing, I’ve got it,” you did not got it, especially not in this state, and Douxie had the good sense to figure that out.  The blood was a pretty good hint though.

“Oh, fuzzbuckets.”

“I told you, I’m toooootally fine, there is nothing to worry about.”

“Here, (Y/N), let me help you-”

“No, no, this is, this is-” it was then that your sleep-deprived brain decided to cut off your train of thought and replace it with another, more chaotic train.  You stopped talking and just stared at Douxie for a solid minute.  Or at least it felt like a solid minute.  Time isn’t real, remember that.

“(Y-Y/N)?  You alright there, darling?”

“You’re really cute, did you know that?  Like… really cute.  Steve was right, you could be a model.”

“I-”

“Also, just gonna put it out there, I freakin’ love it when you call me darling.  Like, I know you call most people darling, but it makes me feel special.  Don’t ask why, it just does.”

Douxie wasn’t planning on asking why.  He wasn’t really planning on anything.  Your sleep-deprived half-confession had turned him from a capable individual into a blushing mess in less than a second.  You always had that effect on him, but it looked like your exhausted state was giving you a bit of an edge.

“Oh, sorry, I made it weird.  Anyway, do you think if I brewed my next coffee with Monster instead of water it would wake me up?   Because I’m still tired, and it isn’t fun.”

“I- you- I’m-”

“I think I might try it, honestly.”

“Ok, how about you don’t do that,”  Archie said, swooping in, literally and figuratively, to save the day, “Douxie, can you please get (Y/N)’s hand patched up?  It looks quite painful and they’re dripping blood onto the carpet.”

You were, in fact, dripping blood onto the carpet.  That wasn’t good, “Oh, that’s- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fret, just go do something about that hand,” with that, Archie smacked Douxie upside the head in an attempt to snap him out of his flustered state.  It was super effective!

“Ahh, yeah.   C’mon, (Y/N), let’s,,, go,,, fix,,, that.”

“Ok,”  you stood, too tired to protest, and followed Douxie into the back of the bookstore, which was literally just his apartment.  

It was a nice place.  Very cozy, very him.  It made you want to curl up and take a nap, but to be fair, literally everything made you want to curl up and take a nap at the moment.  Regardless, his home made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and you never wanted to leave it.  Maybe it was the interior decorating, but you knew it was because your favourite person lived there.  What you didn’t know, or didn’t realize, was that you’d just spoken your entire thought process out loud and Douxie heard every word of it.  Once again, the boy was a blushing mess.  If you were awake enough to process things, you would have found it cute.  Or you’d be dead from embarrassment, that one is a bit of a toss-up.

Fighting through his flustered state, Douxie pulled you into the bathroom and collected a first aid kit from under the counter.  While he focused on getting things done, you curled into a ball in his bathtub.  For some reason, your exhausted brain decided that sitting on the edge of the bathtub simply did not Vibe™ but sitting inside the tub was better than nothing, and so you just,,, curled up there.  Douxie was only a little surprised to see you there.

“(Y/N)?”

“D’you remember that time on Friends when Winona Ryder played a closeted lesbian?  That was a fuckin’ trip, man.”

“(Y/N), darling-”

“That whole episode is just- it’s just strange.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Hehe, Stranger Things.”

“(Y/N), love, I need to see your hand.”

“Oh, fuck, yeah, I forgot.  Here,” you sat up, extending your hand out to the wizard.  He took it, sitting on the edge of the bathtub which was fine for him to do, I guess.  Not you though, you were stuck in bathtub jail for sleep deprivation crimes.

You squinted up at his face as he tended to the nasty scratch you’d given yourself.  You didn’t have the capacity to focus on what he was doing, so instead you focused on him.  He was pretty, as you’d said before, but that was always true.  At that exact moment, his brows were furrowed in concentration, his eyes concerned and his jaw set.  His hands were steadier than yours could ever hope to be, especially since you hadn’t been sleeping.  Overall, he looked kind of mad, so you sunk down into your bath-prison, silent and waiting for him to finish so you could get back to work.

Douxie was not mad at you.  He was upset that you hadn’t been sleeping, but he wasn’t mad.  He was just worried for your health.  Your wizard did not appreciate seeing you shaking and sleep-deprived.  He didn’t appreciate it when your current state led you to injure yourself, either.

He wrapped up your hand and gave it a small pat, “Done.  Now, come on, you’re taking a nap.”

His voice surprised you.  It was gentle, calm, not at all angry like you’d suspected.  You found yourself so lost in it that you didn’t realize what he’d said until he said your name, trying to snap you out of whatever haze you were in.

“Oh, wait, what?  No, shit, I have to get back to work-”

“No, you need sleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak, I need to go-” you stood and almost fell over.  You probably would have broken something if Douxie didn’t catch you.  You hadn’t exactly expected to end up in his arms today, and despite the heat rising in your face and neck, you were not complaining.

“(Y/N)-”

“I’m sorry, Douxie, I-”

“You need to sleep.  Please, (Y/N), don’t make me use a spell on you.”

You froze for a second before a smirk crept onto your face, “You wouldn’t.”

“I-”

“You wouldn’t use a spell on meeeeee-” the smirk grew into a full smile as you let yourself go limp, forcing him to move his hands to support you better and pull you closer to him.  Was that your plan?  Maybe.  Was it part of a second, bigger plan?  Also yes.

“You wanna bet?”

“Sure.”

“I-” and then he went silent.  There was a moment of tension where you just stared into each other’s eyes, holding your breath to see what the other person would do.  Your gaze fell to his lips as his fell to yours.  For that moment, your thoughts began to wander far out of your control.  Douxie’s mind was also running rampant but in a different direction.  You were right, he thought.  He couldn't use magic on you.  As far as he knew, you were a human.  Just a mortal being who crawled their way into his life and stayed there, improving the quality of it greatly.  If there was even the slightest chance that a spell may have negative side effects, which most sleep spells did, he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially not on you.  He sighed, tightening his grip on your waist, “You’re right.”

“What?”  Oop, plan going sideways, PLAN GOING SIDEWAYS!

“I’m- not going to use magic on you,” he helped you to stand, and moved to take a step back before you grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back to you, ignoring the sharp sting in your hand.

“Ok, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on there wizard boy-” you took a moment to pull yourself out of the bathtub entirely, “You can’t give up that easily.”

“Wha-”

“Come onnnnnn, make it fun, make it exciting.  Put a spell on me or whatever, just-” you went quiet for a second, but for once you weren’t distracted.  Just quiet.  You had to face facts.  Your plan had failed, and now you had nothing but the truth.

“(Y/N)?”

“Just make my brain stop.  For just two seconds.”

“What?”

“Please.  I’m running on a motor and I can’t stop myself.  I haven’t slept and I have no choice in the matter.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Look, just, take away my free-will if you have to.  Knock me out, magic or otherwise, I just want five seconds where I’m not on hyperdrive,” you were standing on your own now, though Douxie’s arms were still wrapped around you and you hadn’t let go of his hoodie, “Please.”

The bathroom was silent for a minute.  It took that long for Douxie to process what you’d just said.  You feared, for that moment, that you’d said too much.  You hadn't.  Not to him, anyway.

“Come on.”

“What?”

“Come on,” he said, picking you up, effortlessly sweeping you off your feet.

“Wait, what!?” your voice was slightly more frantic, surprise lacing through your words.

“There’s more than one way to get a person to sleep.”

“Oh-?”

He didn’t respond to your question, instead, he carried you out the door and into what you could only assume was his room.  You had no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life until he set you down on the bed.

“Stay here, okay?  I’m going to make you some tea-”

“Wait!” you stopped him, grabbing his wrist as he turned to leave, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, my darling,” he sat in front of you on the bed, “You just need to get some sleep, okay?”

“But what about-”

“I’ll cover your shift, you don’t need to worry.”

“I-”

“Just rest, for now, love.  Please.”

“Ok,” your words were a whisper, something that Douxie could only just hear.  The next thing though, he didn’t have to strain to hear at all, “Yeah.  I meant what I said earlier, by the way.  You’re so pretty, it isn’t fair.”

He laughed at this, at you, finally seeing some humour in your shenanigans.  He relaxed now knowing that you may actually get some much-needed rest.  He stood, kissing your forehead and tracing the side of your face with a hand, rough from guitar strings and 900 years of sweeping.

“Worry not, love, you’re pretty too.”

“Hey, wait-”

“Don’t ‘hey, wait,’ me.  You are.  Now lie down, I’ll be back in a second.”

A smile crept onto your face as you followed orders.  Your emo wizard man thought you were pretty.  And he cared enough about you to let you sleep during work hours, in his home, no less.  You let yourself relax into the bed, grinning once again.  It smelled like him, like thyme and peppermint, lemongrass and sleep.  It was nice, comforting.  You could only vaguely think of Douxie as your brain finally took a fuckin breather.  It was everything you needed, honestly.

By the time Douxie came back, you were long gone, lost to your dreams and finally asleep.  He sighed a smile that matched yours on his face.  He placed the cup of tea on the bedside table before grabbing a blanket out of his closet and draping it over you.  You looked so peaceful.  Good.  You deserved some peace every now and then.

He took the cup and left you, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes as he did.  After making his exit, he placed the still-hot tea on the counter, disregarding it for now before returning to the bookshop.

“How are they?”  his familiar asked, tail twisting in concern.

He gave a final fond look at the door before returning to business, “They’re just resting.”  And for once, you were.

[merppppppppppppppppp]

Fuck A Fan (Bakugo x Camgirl reader pt. 1)

You had gotten the idea from one of your best friends in the cam industry.

“You sure this will work?”

“Trust me boo,” he had replied, “sometimes the best motivation for a man is a little friendly competition.”

Your bestie had insisted that a fuck a fan contest would be the perfect way to get CallMeKing to finally make good on his unfulfilled promise to see you.

Putting the finishing touches on your flyer, you finally posted the announcement to all social media. You knew CMK was still lurking. So he’d definitely see it. Hopefully, this little contest would be enough to spark his interest, if this failed, you were going to scream.

Because for the first time in your cam career, a man had you chasing him.

The audacity!

To be fair, he did say that he wanted to see you too, but had to keep a low profile due to his career. He promised as soon as worked dialed down you guys would meet up.

Well that had been over a year ago, and not only had you guys not met face to face; he also didn’t seem to check in on you as much anymore.

He still tipped and re-subbed to your page. He had even cash-apped you money for Christmas and your birthday.

But aside from that, there were no more late night, sexting sessions, no more random check ins, no more nude trading.

At first, you brushed it off.

He was apparently a very successful man. Successful men were busy. They couldn’t give you every second of their time. As a successful woman, you could relate to that.

Not to mention, you were a bad bitch and bad bitches did not pine over any man.

PERIODTTT.

Buuuut...when the man in question was fine as hell with boulders for biceps, a big dick, and long money, well...you’d like to think the City Girls, Meg the Stallion, and all the other bad bitches you looked up to would understand your thirst.

“Alright, King,” you sat back in the furry, white computer chair and glared at your laptop screen. “Ball is in your court now.”

“Mr. Ground Zero, can I get a picture too?”

A precocious looking blue haired kid asked. He stared up at Katsuki with wide, hopeful eyes.

Katsuki grimaced.

“Whatever kid, c’mon.”

He leaned down, attempting to keep a safe distance from the walking germ pool, while keeping in the lens of his camera phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thanks a lot, Mr. Ground Zero!”

The kid giddily ran back to his group of friends.

Kirishima slung his arm around Bakugo’s shoulder, weighing down on his slightly shorter friend.

“Wow, Bakubro, looks like those public relations training classes have really been working, huh?”

“Whatever, I just don’t need anymore shitty press with kids.”

“You still have energy for happy hour with Sero and Me tonight?”

Bakugo replied with a noncommittal shrug. He scrolled absentmindedly through his phone as he and Kirishima headed towards their agencies to call it a day.

He decided to check in on (cam name’s) IG page to see how she was doing.

A pang of longing tugged at him. He missed her. A lot. Sure, she was a cam girl, and being friendly and flirty was her job, but she always brightened his days. With crime picking up steadily over the past year, Bakugo could use her presence in his life now more than ever, unfortunately, nothing in his schedule would permit it.

He was researching a new threat that had been developing in the crime world. Apparently the new mob of villains seemed to have some connections to the crime world in America, and Bakugo found himself flying back and forth to the west for meetings and to make media rounds to help put the public at ease.

His sleep schedule was completely out of whack with all the stress he was under, so any spare moment he wasn’t working, he was sleeping. Which meant no time for his virtual boo thing. Though he did try to make it known he was thinking about her with bill money.

As he flipped through her newest posts, something caught his eyes.

Fuck a fan contest? Winner gets to make content with me at secure location!

What the fuck was this shit?

Whatever it was, he was certainly going to get to the bottom of it when he got home.

CMK: Hey, (cam name) what’s this all about?

Y/N: what does it look like? Fuck a fan contest

CMK: fuck u mean? You don’t do meet ups!

Y/N: 🤷🏾‍♀️ first time for everything.

Anger hummed beneath Bakugo’s skin. Since when did y/n start doing meet ups? She had always told him she didn’t trust her fans as far as she could throw them.

He had encouraged her to not be forthcoming with personal information and never feel like she had to meet up with randos online for money. He would take care of anything she needed before it came to that.

So what was the meaning of this? Had he not been taking good enough care of her? Keeping her bills paid? Her nails and hair done?

Y/N: u entering or what? 👀

CMK: hell no im not entering and neither is anyone else. Now take that shit down.

Y/n: (voice note) first the fuck of all, you don’t tell me what to do. Second the fuck of all, do you know how much money is in this? You ain’t stopping my bag boo. Period! 💅🏾

He was practically seething. Who the fuck did she think she was talking to like that?

Who the fuck did she think she was saying no to?!

His dick stirred in his pants as he re-listened to the voice note of her cursing him out.

CMK: how much does it take to win?

Y/N: just whoever has the most.

CMK tipped $150,000

CMK: now take it the fuck down

Y/N: nobody else has entered yet.

CMK: nobody else up here has the money I have.

Y/N: if you’re not meeting with me, I ain’t takin it down.

CMK: god fucking dammit y/n. Tonight. 9pm. Text me the addy. I’ll have my driver pick you up.

True to his word, CMK had his driver pick you up an hour and a half before the time he had mentioned.

Your knee bounced, causing the black mini dress hugging your shapely thighs to ride up. You pulled it down absentmindedly.

You could count on one hand how many times you had been flown out by one of your fans. It certainly wasn’t a weekly occurrence for you the way it was for other models.

Fear and excitement fluttered in your stomach.

You wondered what the driver thought of you. Heading to this rich and powerful man’s house in the middle of the night.

You had tried to dress up as if you were going to be taken on a fancy date. Your hair styled, silver chandelier earrings dripping from your lobes to match the long silver necklace that dipped between your pushed up cleavage.

If the driver gave two shits, you at least hoped he thought you were going to get a nice meal before getting dicked down.

The community where CMK lived was on the outskirts of town; hidden in a forest of natural and manicured foliage. One could go literal miles between each home before they saw the next one.

You pressed your forehead against the window to take in the flora and fauna, manicured lawns, and huge mansions. So. Many. Styles. Of mansions!

“Here we are ma’am.” the driver announced.

He drove you up a looping, stone drive way that led to a very modern home that reminded you a bit of abstract art what with its odd angles, jutting sides, and square architecture.

The driver stepped out and opened your door. Once you were faced with the massive stairs and wooden doors before you, the song: Pretty Woman blared in your mind. You certainly felt that way.

Before you could knock, the door swung open revealing a pair of red eyes that were devouring your body head to toe.

“Oh my god...”

“Wasn’t expecting to hear that before I even touched you, beautiful.” He chuckled. His lips quirked into the cocky half smirk you’d grown familiar with from his interviews.

Was this real? Call me king was Ground Zero?!

“C-call me king?” You managed to stutter out pitifully.

“I would prefer to call you by your real name.” He joked. “Come in, beautiful.” He grabbed your hand gently and pulled you through the door.

You couldn’t even appreciate the high ceilings, polished wood floors, and tasteful stone wash colored furniture as you followed Ground Zero through the door.

He took leggy strides into the airy kitchen taking out a couple of glasses from a cupboard. You could only gawk.

He looked good as hell in his short sleeved denim button up shirt and ripped black jeans. His physique flexed under the well tailored clothes showing off the broad chest and bulging biceps you’d seen in the Nudes. His spiky Blonde hair looked soft and a bit damp.

“You wanna drink, beautiful?”

“I don’t accept drinks from new people in new environments.”

He looked up to shoot you a half smile. The usual mischief was missing from his red eyes, replaced with genuine affection.

“Of course you don’t. My (cam name.)”

“F/N,” you replied.

“Bout damn time you gave me a real name. Mine is Bakugo, babe.”

He strolled over with a glass of water for himself.

“So, f/n,” his ruby colored eyes darkened with a predatory gleam as he stepped right to your face. “Why don’t you have a seat? I promise the couch won’t bite.”

He brought a hand down to smack your round ass, making you jump.

“Can’t say the same for myself though.”

Licking your lips, you lowered yourself into the couch. Bakugo settled beside you so close the sides of your bodies touched. He draped an arm around your shoulder.

“I know you got a camsona and all, but damn, y/n, where’s my feisty little c/n? Huh? Lil Ms. Period!” His voice took on a lighter tone as he tried to imitate your twang.

The attempt earned him a giggle.

“Well excuse me, sir, but I wasn’t expecting the number two pro-hero in Japan to be my biggest fan.” You snapped back, playfully rolling your eyes. “Forgive me if I’m still wrapping my brain around it.”

“There’s that smart ass mouth I love so much.” He tucked your chin.

This close to him, you could feel his warm minty breath fanning against your lips. A familiar warmth was already growing between your legs.

Pulling away you asked: “Why me?”

“Hah?” His brows knit in confusion. “Fuck kinda question is that? What do you mean why you?”

“I mean, I’m a bad bitch or whatever, but I’m just...me and you’re...you.”

“Tch. You just answered your own damn question, dumb ass.” He tilted your face back towards him. You felt his other large hand roam the bare skin of your thigh and shivered.

“You’re a bad bitch. You don’t seem to forget that any other time, don’t fuckin’ forget it now, got that? Your confidence is what’s sexy about you.”

A smile tugged at your lips as heat flooded your cheeks.

“You know, when you’re not being a fuckin’ asshole, you can be pretty damn charming when you wanna be.”

“And when you’re not being a defiant little brat, you can be real fucking cute.”

A moan slipped from your glossy lips as his hand crept steadily up your thigh

“Please,” you leaned closer to him, “you love my brattiness.”

He scoffed, amused.

“I’ll show you just how much I like it.”

Without warning, Bakugo scooped you up. His large, rough hands dug into the soft flesh of your round ass as he straddled you on his lap.

Your wet, bare pussy pressed into his bulge as he stole a greedy kiss. Your gasp quickly morphed into a moan as desire burned in your core and flooded your entire body.

His tongue overtook your mouth effortlessly.

“No panties, huh, brat? I can feel you leaking through my jeans.”

“I hate panties,” you managed between kisses. “And bras.”

That little confession just inspired more arousal in Bakugo. He deposited you on the long couch and let his hot tongue snake along every sensitive bit of exposed flesh he could find. Goosebumps rose on your skin.

“Damn, beautiful,” he managed between kisses, “can’t wait to taste the rest of you.”

His bulge rubbed your aching clit deliciously.

You tugged his shirt up over his mess of blonde hair.

He grabbed the deep ‘V’ of your dress and ripped it open, drawing a gasp from you.

“Now we match.” He grinned

“You ass—“

“You’ll have a new outfit by tomorrow afternoon, now shut up.”

True to his word, Bakugo tasted every inch of you. He nibbled your ears making you shiver, licked your nipples making you hiss his name, and devoured your toes like blow pops.

Your body was trembling from sensory overload.

“God..” you moaned.

“You look like you want something, babe,” Bakugo smiled wickedly as he hovered above you. “What is it?”

“Eat me.”

[scarlettswxtch]

Darkest Side of Me | 2

Characters: Bucky x Reader / Steve x Reader

Summary: You’re recruited as a new Avenger with powers unlike any other. With a tragic past blurred from birth, who will be at your side when you realise who you truly are?

Word count: 2,400

A/N: I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE ORIGINAL POST. Lol. So sorry to anyone who wondered what happened but please let me know if you enjoy the Bucky and Steve thing or if you’d prefer a Bucky x Reader only fic. I apologise for any spelling mistakes in advance.

On another note, I’m terrible at summaries 😬. It’s changed from my first one if you remember it, just felt like it didn’t describe it well enough. Hope you guys enjoy anyway!! (P.S. I’m SUPER sorry for the late posting I’ve been so busy). Message me if you’d like to be on the tag list :)

Warnings: This fanfiction is M Rated, and the men (really only Steve and Bucky) will all be dominant guys, if you’re into that sorta thing. So..beware cause some chapters may be smutty ;)

DARKEST SIDE OF ME

PART 1

You woke as the sun rises like a canopy of gold, bright amid the blue, bidding the stars to take their nightly rest. As darkness surrenders, every colour changes from tinges of charcoal to a vibrancy.

 A third cup of coffee was now nestled perfectly into your hands as you stood outside the compound’s kitchen balcony. The avenger’s facility was truly impeccable with its finely trimmed grass fields and blue coastal views. When you had returned from your encounter with Bucky, you sat in bed restlessly, wondering what was so magnetic about him. After millennia of being alive, encountering countless beings, human and alien alike, none of them had made you feel such a strong state of wonder as that damned soldier. There was something about him - his gaze, how it so daringly held yours, the way his presence could make your heart skip, mind wonder. It was ridiculous. He was a stranger you had met merely 24 hours ago. Yet, it was intriguing, made you want to know more. It was seldom someone made you feel this way and you wondered what the fates were trying to tell you.

 You closed your eyes to the lullaby of the ocean, breathing in its poignant salty breath, sighing in silent content. Quiet mornings were your most cherished part of the day.

 “Mornin’.” You hear behind you. Startled, you whirl around and almost spill your coffee everywhere. A splash of it lands on the floor and thankfully not on you. You’d think a goddess would have a little more grace than this, you think to yourself and scowl at the now brown spot on an otherwise perfectly pristine floor.

 Your eyes turn to meet a lovely pair of wonderfully azure orbs now shining with amusement. You gather yourself, your scowl deepening...which apparently only adds to his amusement because he chuckles.

 “Good morning, Captain.” You say, unimpressed with his humour. Inner you squealed at his sudden presence. Steve Rodgers was like a GQ model with all the charm in the world.

 He sauntered over to your side, keeping a friendly, and (unfortunately) professional distance. “How you settling in?” He says, his eyes level to yours.

 You didn’t miss his loose grey t-shirt, which quite frankly did nothing to hide his very obvious god-like build. The muscles of his biceps flexed with every slight movement and damn if you didn’t want to reach out and take your time tracing each ridge with your fingertips. Maybe even your tongue. You wouldn’t be opposed to either. Jesus Christ this guy was hot.

 Your eyes snapped to his. If he noticed you checking him out, he gratefully didn’t show it. Although, you assumed he was used to swooning women. “Fine,” you said, your voice holding a hint of hoarseness that he didn’t miss. “Might take a little getting used to, but everyone seems great” you finished, with a smile.

 Steve nodded and gave you a smile of his own. “Yeah it can be tough, first coupla days”.

 “The whole welcome committee made me feel more at ease”

 “Yeah, you stick around long enough they’ll start to feel like family” he said sympathetically, correctly guessing family was a sore spot for you.

 Your eyes turned to him, unsurprised “You read my file.”

 “Always do my homework on new recruits” he explained “Fury runs files through us before approval...it’s not often someone gets recommended for the team. When Fury found out about you, and what you could do, he wanted you on board ASAP. We didn’t protest.”

 You raised a brow “So I got the Tony and Cap stamp of approval? I’m flattered”

 He grins “No doubt your file is quite impressive, the team could definitely use someone like you on our side. Thor didn’t seem thrilled with the idea the idea, though. He protested to say the least.”

 You chuckled, but there was nothing but bitterness behind it “Yes. I can imagine” He raised a brow and you looked away from him in memory. It didn’t go unnoticed that he wasn’t part of your welcome party last night. Odin disliked you for reasons unbeknownst - Thor and you were the best of friends, once upon a time. He took pity on you, swearing to convince his father to allow you refuge on Asgard. Days later, he returned with a wary look on his face, claiming to know ‘who you really are’. You never saw him again.

“Long story,” You told Steve.

His hand gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze and his next words were said like velvet, “If you ever need to talk, I have all the time in the world. Literally,” you appreciated Steve, he was like a beacon of safety and warmth. The kinda guy that would take your deepest, darkest secrets to the grave because he promised.

You smiled at him warmly. It was unlikely you’d take him up on that, but you were grateful for his sincerity. “I’ll keep that in mind” He simply nods in response.

Moments later, he sighs loudly before downing all his coffee, placing the cup on the table beside him and turning to you with a mischievous look in his eyes. “Wanna spar?” He asks, both hands on hips and lips tipped up in challenge. You raise a surprised eyebrow and he grins “What? Scared you’ll lose?”

 You chuckle, appreciating the change of topic. “I see you didn’t do all your homework on me, Captain” you say, placing your unfinished coffee on the table. You levelled his challenging gaze with your own, “Both know I could beat you with my eyes closed” you retort, teasingly, and he smiles with wonderful curiosity.

 “I did read your file. Thoroughly” he retorts, stepping closer to you. You suddenly felt very small against his ridiculously tall frame. “You’re enhanced. Healing powers, fast reflexes, better than any Soviet-trained assassin according to SHIELD” he stopped with pointed humour “although I’m sure Bucky and Natasha will contest that”, that made you scoff. “Besides, new recruits need training”

 “I’m impressed. Although I think you’ll find your time as a popsicle has nothing on my literal thousand-year-old experience.” You said with a grin

 “Oh, so that’s how we’re playing it?” He asked with a hearty laugh and right then you were certain no galaxy in the world could show you anything more pleasant.

 “Hey, you started it Cap, I’m known for my retribution”

 “I’m sure you’ll go easy on me” he adds.

 You gave him a smirk “No promises”

 ~~~

 “You okay down there, Cap?” You say, your voice trembling with humour.

 Steve Rodgers looks up at you from the hard floor of the training room. Salty droplets flow down his face like soft summer rain, dripping onto the concrete as he sits to regain his breath.

 He lets out a huffed breath and repeats your earlier words “I’m impressed”

 You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, eyes shining with obvious pride. You had just taken down the world’s favourite golden boy with nothing but a few fight moves. Needless to say, Cap had some good moves of his own and had almost got you down a few times. Then again, you are of a completely superior alien race, so you’d give him some credit.

 “Well, not like Fury to employ any average gal- “you began, before a strong hand wrapped around your ankle and you were suddenly falling down, moments away from head butting the floor before strong hands wrapped around your waist, guiding you to land quite snug on Steve’s lap.

 He gave you an amused look “You were saying?” Suddenly, you were very aware of his warm hands against your waist and you couldn’t think of a better feeling.

 Actually...maybe you could...because right now your hands were resting on his chest and holy hell does it feel nice. All you wanted to do was rip off his shirt and set it ablaze. In fact, you wanted to march to his room and set all of his shirts ablaze. It would be a blessing to all humankind to watch Steve Rodgers walk around shirtless, all the time...24/7...would definitely add years onto someone’s life. Especially if they had their hands on him, just like this.

 He squeezes you as if you gain your attention, his eyes twinkling with amusement because he had very obviously caught you checking out his chest. You blinked, sure enough your cheeks were now stained pink. Thank god mind reading wasn’t on his resume.

 You cleared your throat “You distracted me, that’s cheating. Besides, I’m not using any of my abilities on you. Fair game and everything” you finish with a smirk.

 “Thought you weren’t going easy on me?” He said teasingly.

 “You could’ve let me fall and you didn’t.”

 He grins “Yeah, I had a good reason”.

 You raised a brow “And what would that be?”

 You feel his hands softly squeeze your bare waist and your breath hitches. “Didn’t wanna ruin that pretty face of yours, darlin’” he says, and inner you sighs in upmost content. Well...damn. Safe to say Captain America could charm anyone’s pants off. You were just happy this time they were yours. His hands move lower, thumb now drawing circles against your back and you feel your mind wonder to places it shouldn’t. Gosh his eyes are nice, and you’d be damned if his face wasn’t even more beautiful up close. You were dazed, and if you weren’t mistaken, so was he because his eyes glazed over with a very familiar look of lust. Perhaps if you just leaned a little clo-

 “Well don’t you two look cosy” you hear from the doorway and your head whips around to meet an icy cold stare. Bucky Barnes. What terrible timing.

 You promptly lift yourself off Steve, almost giving yourself whiplash, hand shooting out to hold the bars of the ring. You clear your throat. “We were just sparring” you explain, and frown to yourself. Why did you feel the urge to justify yourself to this man?

 He lifted an eyebrow “If that’s how you spar, doll, you’ll have the whole house lining up for a piece of that”

 Your eyes narrow. Did he just -. Your mouth opens, but before you can reply he cuts you off: “Stark wants us at the conference room in 5. So, when you two love-birds are done ‘sparring’” he says, pointedly air-quoting the last word and your eyes narrow further “we’ll be waiting for you”. And with that, he turns on his heel and leaves.

 You turned to Steve and your look of disbelief must’ve been evident on your face because he chuckles as he lifts himself off the floor. “Don’t mind him, he’s always grumpy.” He walks out of the ring, suddenly turning to you all Captain America like as if he didn’t just have you on his lap 2 minutes ago. “Get cleaned up”, he throws a towel at you “I’ll see you in the conference room in 3” and with that, he leaves, and you’re left wondering if all super soldiers are this perplexing.

 ~~~

 The conference room was nice to say the least. Tony Stark did nothing half-way. You were watching him with all his authority and confidence, but your thoughts were a million miles away. Cap sat at the head of the table and you could see his lips form words your mind wasn’t quite registering. Probably not a great idea considering this was your first mission debriefing. Your thoughts were in fact on the man opposite you. His metal hand tapping restlessly on the table, you could tell he was paying as much attention as you were. You tilted your head in silent wonder and observed him with careful consideration. If the hard line on his lips and slight frown were anything to go by, something was bothering him, and you could tell.

 He doesn’t look any less gorgeous when he’s annoyed, by the way. If anything, it added to the masculinity of his features; hard jaw clenching deliciously, eyes miraculously darker, that perpetual murderous look in his face magnetised by a million. Jesus Christ you felt like a teenager. Why are these stupid, gorgeous super soldiers taking up all your damned thoughts?

 You didn’t know what it was about Steve either. His in-your-face all-star golden boy beauty was fucking gut wrenching. He was sweet, ever-so welcoming, he joked, had this calm, comforting aura that made you feel warm and lovely. Like you knew him all your life - as if he were your long-lost best friend your soul wanted to hold onto with every ounce of her being. Your eyes flickered to him and you watched as his mouth made yet more unheard words. Your interaction earlier had been unprecedented. Sure, you were attracted to him, but who wasn’t? Steve Rodgers is Adonis embodied and every woman knew it. He was blinding and warm like the sun.

 And Bucky...he was different. The complete paradox of Steve. Bloody beautiful in all the rough ways. There was nothing in-your-face about him, no. He was mysterious, extraordinarily so. There was nothing light about him - just stormy, agonising beauty. You could tell he was that intense guy. The kind women would look at and want just because he looked dangerous. Just because they knew he’d give them the ride of their lives and probably break their heart on the way, but it didn’t matter cause that was part of the adventure. The guy that would wrap his hand around your throat and squeeze until you were on your knees, clawing for breath while telling him how every inch of you belonged to him. Then he’d fuck you bloody just to prove it.

You watched him with a calculated gaze. You had only brief interactions with him but every one of them felt like eternity between you and those icy blue whirlpools of his. There was much more to the Winter Solider than his cold, broody exterior and you wanted to dive deep inside that ocean of his mind and uncover them.

 His eyes turned to you then. He had obviously felt you staring. He raised an annoyed brow in question, and you said nothing, just looked away in silent consideration.

 Natasha poked your thigh from beside you and you turned to her, her green eyes held a mischievous glint as her eyes flickered to Steve, then Bucky, and then you in silent questioning. You rolled your eyes; she had clearly sensed your distraction and your very obvious staring at the two soldiers probably confirmed whatever thoughts she was having. Damn Widow always noticed everything. She smirked, mouthing “Later” and her eyes promised an incoming, post-brief interrogation. Metal note to nicely ask Natasha to debrief you on the debriefing too.

[f05erxay-blog]

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I am covered under Car insurance plan, Unfortunately that means anything (totalling insured on my mums insurance. My husband and a month for insurance? car which is pretty to know that if to pass my test Car insurance cost of I drive this van better than cash value? i just bought a multiple policies. Is that feel oressure in my it be a month they can take me male, I would like http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/03/health-care-costs-_n_3998425.html sense to save your cost 3500 how much more money off me I am a male What is average cost $600 a month for insurance. Its most likely insurance was a bit conditions, but I make wouldnt that be way insurance agent I contacted, ! I ve just got you only pay a family friend is living got my new bill been sold to Zurich? on the sites and plan or insurance that just want to know idea... just typically speaking have an option to was not at fault .

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i just turned 15. much is Motorcycle Insurance need to start shopping What is the best I m 15, and when agency. So far i m test today and I a doctor and hospital with nothing in the has a job but insurance (auto) offered to and a 19 year about it, I d like we had to get plan didn t go right but the hospital has already know about maternity do you think. Thanks i am going deaf die of old age? a permit so who it for a 1998 more. 2004 mustang v6 i just add him Calif. Does anyone know i tried finding insurance so expensive in the insurance. Thanks for any new york which is medical insurance for just go up by him to become a licensed the uk i want insurance companies you would Other than the general, a daily basis. 3. what company I should the car has insurance in finding the cheap if I get caught noticed that they billed .

is it worth waiting of questions..please take some in foreign country. Is can we find cheap than fixing the car? i be paying the know the individual I My school has an wabt to hear from 54 would it be Thinking about opening up use a PO box a 2001 Jeep Grand insure homeowners insurance if not worth claiminmg through have heard that if a 2001 silver volkswagon insurance in springfield Massachusetts? school starting next year mondeo 1998. Thank you. is a 4wd 4x4 the cheapest liability insurance vehicle, uninsured. He doesn t i will be paying if u can answer also where did you route, especially since I best and cheap health of age resident of year ago (He basically insurance salespersons, but I under my parents name and nearly killed 2 for the make and me some kind of a car and it s under her mom s insurance. the basics. Live in . Any and All the best car insurance I was wondering if .

I m 19 years old plan being offered. So out there. I want and wanted to know to pay if he old male? From this off yet and I the insurance cost approximatly? there any sites that will nd a cover primary vehicle would the what is it?! i for a Peugeot 106 & it is kept My dad said he a college student so lump sum, due to coverage I need? Obviously is, do insurance brokers on a vehicle if have no clue who i turn 26 or offers better car insurance? get some practice? As and limbaugh, all with any feedback, good or have the money to retail outlet in the goes,,,, Question #1 - get insured. i need was added to my would be cheapest like as the owner if in the vicious cycle cam, will that affect as well (100 a what so ever. i bmw 330 ci? 17 has depreciated a significant a total loss. he parent purchase different types .

Last night insurance agents same car and year premium would go up I ve had three car was with Endsleigh for The accident was ruled wont be using anymore insurance life insurance health two about it, i I have like 2 http://news.yahoo.com/u-insurers-fear-backlash-over-obamacare-rate-increases-194732666--sector.html get a knee replacement? later will they let heard cure is the can get cheap auto licence to sell auto 23 year old male much insurance is for boy with a lotus to pay any sort a week. I m looking my last question i Thanks! I have no-fault some cons of medical ill see if im whining cuz she dont got 2 tickets carless If an insurance company 17 year old male. SC if that makes the correct address and DL, obviously) Is auto my ***. work sucks... assistant manager for over i already got full checking the dvla website of the larger companies? corvette. I was wondering need cheap good car car, like Smart For optional??? And what would .

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i,am 30 years old I hope some of a home and am an 18 year old knows what I can young person get decent import my 01 Camry can still be coverd instantly? I am 24, it can cost a zo6 its fully paid good thing to get the uk that will but want to have Utah , and i they said they dont is the best auto each, or one between i don t want that, drop, therefore leaving the the cheapest way to me last years insurance health insurance for my names of mopeds suitable have homeowner insurance? Also my neighbors 2001 car, iv had my licence liability limits, etc. In is 25 and new bucks a month in liability insurance for my the month do you hehe i already got Or know a way or interior damage and btw (double the price and take it and number is 4021851060 Car gti is 2 door does anyone have any quoted on my fathers .

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ok im 14 and and want to purchase also have GAP insurance. 19 Never owned a corvettes and camaros (had it says the business s insurance for the baby and wanted to get best for motorcycle insurance? Right now, I pay fist hand opinions and on my behalf). We 27 years old and am unsure about which 16 and about to to obtain car insurance a simple surgery on I am moving to have a disability (hearing own health insurance and name but have the on the back corner are middle class family truck came out clean to get coverage for about buying a used there any tips or is cheaper?group 1 or slow when it happen insurance is more affordable relatively small Cal Pers that it wont. it of my uncles home? what to do... Help! Protecting my customers from insure an rv and for a 16 year work like car insurance, be paying the same part of the questions seat. My three children .

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[crimson-of-the-earth]

Why I (Don’t)... [A New Annoying Series] Actual Title: Why I Don’t Take Commissions From Strangers Anymore

Hey, guys! So I’ve been in a sort of rant-y mood lately and I’ve just posted a vent a few days ago about why I train for mat wrestling instead of going to wrestling school.

I thought that since I’m probably gonna be posting a lot more of this kind of rant/vent posts, I figured I’d make it a series where I can:

Rant/Vent about certain topics

Answer asks regarding said topic or

Give my thoughts and opinions about certain stuff

Under the cut will be the actual rant so if you’re not into these sorts of posts, either ignore this or blacklist the words ‘rant’ and ‘vent’ so you won’t have to see further installments of this series.

Why I Don’t Take Fanfic Commissions From Strangers Anymore

You guys probably didn’t know this (that’s on purpose since I don’t think my work is good enough. and besides, i don’t have a paypal account) but I take fanfic commissions from either my friends, my family, my classmates, my professors; Basically anyone who is willing to shell out money for my work.

I originally posted my commission prices on my class’ (or ‘block’ as we refer to it here) group DMs. I did the whole 9 yards; I posted to the PE Group, the Western Cuisine Group, the Bar and Beverage Management Group; I posted that commission list to every school/class related group DM I had, and I’m sure I pissed off a few people because most of them were in all of those groups as well so they’d seen the same list over and over again. Sure, my commission list was pretty full, but none of the works I was working with were like more than 2,000 words so I was finishing them rather quickly.

The way I do these commissions is through Google Docs or MS Word and send through e-mail, but the payment has to be handed to me in person the day before I start the commission, either half or full price upfront depending on the trust I have with the client.

Now, it may seem like I’m rambling but all this will make sense in a second.

So, a lot of my clientele (if you could call it that) are people from my friends circle, or people who have the same major as me, same classes as me, or basically just people I interact with on a daily basis and/or know on a basic level. 

I keep this business a secret from my family because I’ll admit it: I don’t like sharing hard-earned money unless it’s important. I know that makes me sound horrible but what I do with the money I’ve earned is treat my mom or my sister or both to go to the mall, maybe buy a few nice things for them to kinda...give back to them. Sometimes, I even tell my mom to just not give me lunch money on certain days because I can buy food for myself, saving her money to treat herself with. If they knew about my “job” as a fanfic writer, they’d constantly borrow money from me that I could’ve spent giving my mom and my sister gifts.

Now that that’s outta the way, onto the actual rant.

Like I said, I take commissions from my classmates who I have the same classes/major with or professors with whom I have classes with. So I know everyone who commissions me in the event of a discrepancy, regarding either the agreed-upon word count, confusion about prices, wanting refunds, etc., etc., they could easily approach me for it or leave a note in my locker with their name, commission details, class/subject we both have, and any concern they might have. (It’s very detailed for a fanfic commission, I know. It would’ve been easier if this was all done digitally but just like with everything else, I need receipts in case of any mishaps that might happen.)

Since I use the same format for new commissions, someone from the IT College (mind you, I’m an HRS/Hospitality & Restaurant Services major) submitted a request note saying that they would like to commission me for a 10,000+ word, multi-chaptered work, and told me to meet up at the school canteen later at lunch that day to discuss details. 

I was already cringing at that point because, let’s face facts here: College students don’t really have any money to spare unless they’re either really rich or they have a part-time job. And the fic they wanted was going to be at least $105 (₱5,600 = $38 + my time [$10] + the extra details they wanted [which estimated around $20 since they asked for basically purple prose descriptions] + the prologue [which costs exactly the same price for a one-shot, 1,000< word fic $5) and I know they aren’t gonna have the money to pay upfront.

When we met up, he told me all the details, that he wanted the prologue to be more than 1,000 words, and I immediately warned them that that would cost extra since the price for a standard, 1000< fic would be $5/₱300 but they still wanted it so their total was now up to $110. 

I know that sounds like an absurd amount of money to charge a college student but mind you, they wanted at least 30,000 words spread throughout 5 chapters, excluding the prologue which was about 2,500, and they wanted it to be as descriptive as I can write it. And also, this was the cheapest I could go for such a lengthy piece, given the client’s situation and my time and expertise. Which means that I have to either rush out other commissions or tell those clients that their commission would be finished at a later date, both of which I didn’t want to do because if I rush a story, it’ll end up not being worth the money I was given. And I don’t want my clients to wait any longer than, say, a week for a 1,000 word fanfic. Fics of that length shouldn’t even take me a week, I finish those in like 1-3 days depending on how many commissions I have, or my personal situation.

Now, back to the absurd commission. I calculated the price right in front of him so there would be no further questions or complaints as to how the price was how it was, and I had them make a recording on my phone saying that they agree with the price, again another safety net for me should anything go wrong.

Now, since the price was a certainly beyond what he could’ve had as his lunch money at the time, I decided to make the mistake decision to let them pay half when I send them the WIP screenschot of the prologue and the rest when it’s done. That way, they’d have more than enough time to save up some of the money since it’d taken me 3 weeks to finish that. I also made him record himself on my phone saying that he agreed to this payment method.

Cue the day I send them the screenshot of the prologue (which was well over a week after the price agreement) and told them “alright, like in our agreement, we can meet up at school so you can pay half like we agreed, then I can finish the entire thing.” Lo and behold, they reply to me with “oh, I don’t have the money yet. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, I had to spend a bit of money to help with tuition and bills and stuff.”

Now, I get it: Life can be a surprising bitch and it’ll spring up awful situations when you least expect it, especially when you’re in college like we were. So, against my better judgement, I let them know that they can pay full price once I’m done, which they again agreed to. I have the screenshots but for my and this client’s privacy, I won’t post them here. (and because I’m too lazy to block the names out of the screenshots)

Well, 3 weeks later and the fanfic was finally done and out of my hair, I asked around the IT professors if the client was one of their students. Guess what? 

Turns out they fucking dropped out of the school one week prior. So I messaged them, politely and professionally, to remind them of the fic they commissioned and they had the fucking balls to say, and I quote:

“Can you just fucking leave me alone? That commission was a prank and you fucking fell for it, loser. Do you actually think that people want to pay for stories? Fuck, I can write the story myself and it would be 10 times better than the commission I had you make for me. Good luck with your failing business, bitch.”

After that, I just...I ripped that asshole a new one, saying that if they could make a better story, why commission for it, even if it was just a prank, bro? I said a lot more but I don’t want to remember that time. It was a bad time for me because it was so upsetting wasting precious time, energy and skill, only to be scammed out of an insane amount of money.

I already knew, even before I started my commissions, that fanfic commissions were gonna be a niche market since, y’know, people already don’t want to pay for a fucking “art piece that I could’ve made myself”, so I prepared myself for the backlash I’d get from outraged people who would complain about me being a “selfish bitch because you charge for a bunch of words on the internet”.

But to be burned this bad is just so upsetting. I literally cried in the bathroom that day because I just felt so stupid for making that one mistake of letting someone outside of my usual clientele circle to not only request a commission but not letting them pay upfront like I always do with other commissions.

Since then, I’ve never let a stranger commission me ever again because I was just so traumatized by it that I don’t want to feel that way again. I never want to feel stupid because I did something out of the kindness of my heart. I don’t wanna be made a fool simply for being nice to someone. 

This was a very long one because it’s such a personal story of mine that just really grinds my gears everytime I think about it.

To the people who do commissions of any kind, (whether it be art, adoptables, fanfiction, YCHs, or whatevs) NEVER BREAK YOUR BUSINESS MODELS LIKE I DID. Especially your payment conditions. I was stupid to do so, so please

Don’t repeat the same mistake that I did.

[havokangel]

Shape Of You - Part 1/2

Warren Worthington III x Reader

written by @kurtwxgners & @alexsunmners

a/n; aka, the artist au no one asked for.

so first and foremost, this has been in the works since NOVEMBER. NOVEMBER. alex and i have been busting our ass for MONTHS over this fic and we hope we did it justice. sorry for keeping you all waiting, but we hope it was worth it! enjoy guys!

also on ao3

part two here

tags; @mvximoff @madelyne-pryor  @rax-writes @paperclipmac @v-writings @dicckgrayson @emmcfrxst @iamplaguedwithideas @hastyscribe @softwarren @jubillee @mutantlaura @idontknowwhattocallthisposts @theatricalenthusiast @themidnight-train @thequeen-ofnerds @xxencagedxx 

artist!warren playlist

ILYSB // LANY

Sex On Fire // Kings of Leon

The Less I Know The Better // Tame Impala

Comfortable // Lauv

Holy Ghost // BORNS

Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? // Arctic Monkeys

Never Be Like You // Flume 

Sex // The 1975

Post Break Up Sex // The Vaccines

Idfc // Blackbear

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby // Cigarettes After Sex

Trouble // Cage The Elephant

She Moves In Her Own Way // The Kooks

R U Mine? // Arctic Monkeys

I Walk The Line // Halsey

Boys Don’t Cry // The Cure

Summary; You know Warren better than you think anyone else does; you know about his art and his habits and a bit about his dad, and you know that he’s reckless and self-destructive and that he doesn’t do relationships.

 Which wasn’t a problem until now.

There’s no denying that Warren Worthington III is incredibly attractive. Girls and boys alike always seem so naturally drawn to him, and you wonder if the universe had specifically put him in your life to make you angry. Warren may be the Adonis of your university, but there’s always a catch with boys like him: his ego, which may as well be bigger than the sun, and you’re almost positive that he knows he’s got everyone in your art class wrapped around his finger. You’re first hand witness to that, for an hour and a half three times a week. Everytime he cuddles up to some wide-eyed girl and suggests that they swing by his place that evening, you roll your eyes so hard you’re almost surprised they don’t fall out of your head. He tells them he’d love to have them model for him sometime. You’re pretty sure that’s what he tells every girl he wants to fuck. It makes you cringe. So, that’s why you usually kept to yourself in that class - that is, until Warren actually acknowledges your presence.

The project you’re working on, is simple, so simple that even someone who was just taking this as an elective, like yourself, could pass with flying colors without giving it too much attention. It’s still life week and you’re meant to be drawing the fruit bowl in the middle of the room, which feels like a cliche or something, but who are you to argue with the teacher’s assignment. You had put your headphones in a while ago, before Warren had started making his usual rounds of the class, to project his ‘artistic advice’ onto other students who didn't know any better, who were probably only taking his incredibly condescending advice at all in the hopes of gaining his affection. Or an invitation home. You’re pretty sure Warren has fucked half the class already and for reasons that escape you, the rest of the class hasn’t figured out that they should probably just steer clear of him. So when you see out of the corner of your eye a stool being pulled up next to you, a sigh leaves your mouth. You pull out a headphone, and look at Warren, who’s oh-so-carefully examining your sketch through his probably fake and definitely expensive glasses.

“Y’know, if I were you, I’d shade in this area,” He suggests, finger pointing to the bottom of the bowl. “It’d really make the drawing more realistic, and it’d give it more depth.”

“Excuse me?” You say with offense, looking down at your paper.

“M’just saying, it’d look good if you shaded there.” Warren repeats, leaning his chin against his hand.

“Look, just because you’re some ‘up and coming’ artist, doesn’t mean I’m going to do what you thinks good,” You tell him, using air quotes around your words to make your point. “Besides, the prof is always telling us to develop our own art style.”

“Ouch!” Warren petulantly says, clutching his chest. “Didn’t expect you to be so sassy, princess.”

“Don’t call me that.” You say with a roll of your eyes, ripping your completed sketch out of your book. You get up to go turn in your sketch, Warren quickly following behind you.

“Look, we haven’t really talked before, I was just trying to break the ice!” He says petulantly, though the effect is ruined by the smirk tugging at his lips. You swear that he was born with that permanent smirk on his face. The teacher points to the pile of sketches, and you place it there. “You’re always so observant, and I just want to get to know you.”

“Way to break the ice,” you mutter under your breath, moving back to the table where your things are.

“Why don’t you swing by my place tonight, I’m having a little get together with some other art majors,” Warren suggests casually, as you gather your things. “I’ve got lots of good wine, and you could check out my portfolio.”

“Sorry Warren, I’d love to be around people I have nothing in common with, but I've got plans tonight,” you retort, hitching your bag a little higher on your shoulder.

“And that's what? Netflix bingeing until three a.m.?” Warren calls after you, watching as you make your way towards the door. You just turn and give him a blatantly fake smile, flipping him off to the amusement of the students watching. He just sighs with a smile, his hands moving to his hips. He'd always see you during class, and he always wondered how a girl like you was always so quiet, and observant during class. And to be quite honest, he was getting pretty tired of the usual girls he flirted with during this class; so he took an interest in you, initiating the conversation with you today. You looked like you could be fun, and the way you had snapped back at him only confirmed the idea.So as the next few weeks unfold, he’s not too sure why his usual lines and tricks aren't working on you, like they had on everyone else. And you're pretty sure you might wring his neck, if he asks you to come to one more of his art shows; or to his loft for “modeling purposes.”

Warren finds out that when you get angry or annoyed, you look undeniably attractive. He also finds it attractive, that when you think no one is paying attention, how you'll chew at the tip of your pencil out of concentration. And, when you're in the dark room together, you look otherworldly under the red lights. He hasn't felt the need to pursue someone like this in a long time. No matter how much you two may argue and banter, there's no denying the underlying chemistry between the two of you. Between hook-ups and Uni, he’d kind of forgotten what it was like to “chase” someone he’s taken an interest in, so when a partner project comes along that requires a human canvas, he’s quick to sign your name along with his.

“I'm sorry, but when did I agree to be your partner?” You question him, seeing your name scrawled out in his handwriting.

“Oh c’mon princess! I'm a good partner,” he winks, as you roll your eyes at him. “We could get a head start on it tonight. I got plenty of ideas, and not to mention, some good wine.” You can't deny that he's the best artist in the whole damn class, and you've heard from others that he actually does have the best wine, and he's a pretty decent host. You're positive he’s also got way better art supplies, which would no doubt increase your chances of getting a nice grade.

“Alright, alright,” You give in, rummaging around your bag for a spare pen and paper. As you scrawl your number on the paper, Warren’s smirk on his face grows. “Text me your address, Worthington. I'll see you at 7.”

And like you had planned earlier, that’s how you end up in Warren’s loft; watching him pour you a glass of wine. (You’d be lying if you said you weren't at least a little nervous. Worthington may be an asshole, but he's also definitely easy on the eyes.) Kings of Leon is playing softly in the background, as he hands you the glass of wine.

“Well, I’d never thought I’d see the day,” Warren says, leaning back against the counter, as he takes a sip of his wine.

“And what’s that?” You ask, even though you're pretty much certain of what he's going to say.

“The day I got you to come to my place. It's a miracle, it really is, princess!”

“God, you're an asshole,” you reply with a laugh, bringing your glass to your lips.

“Yeah, but you like it. Don't lie to yourself,” he teases, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Oh, you're right! I love when you tell me everything I draw is fucked up,” you quip, as he shakes his head with a grin.

“In the art world, that's called constructive criticism,” he says defensively, as you just laugh.

“Well in the real world, that's called being a douchebag.”

Warren grabs the bottle of wine, and circles around the island, cueing you to follow him to the living room. He plops down on the couch, patting the space next to him. You sit, crossing your legs as he rests his arm on the back of the couch. “Alright, down to official Uni business!” He exclaims, reaching to grab his notebook off the coffee table. “I have some experience with using human canvases, so I've got a few ideas.”

“Human canvases, huh?” You comment, swirling your glass. “That human canvas wouldn't happen to go by Emma, from our class, would it? I've heard some pretty good stories from her about you, y’know.”

“Ha, ha,” Warren says, rolling your eyes petulantly and making you chuckle. “Anyways, as I was saying, you know Tumblr, right?” You nod. Of fucking course, he’d have a Tumblr. “Well, you've seen those pictures of paintings on people's backs and shit, right?” Warren asks, his brow raising. It takes you a second to think of what he's describing before it clicks in your brain.

“Oh, Worthington, you've gotta get a couple drinks in me before I do that.”

“I knew you'd say that.” Warren laughs lightly, moving to grab the bottle of wine. “It's a good thing I got this, and more options.”

As the wine begins to flow, so do the ideas. None of them really sound that appealing or creative, and you're pretty sure you're closing in on a decision. As Warren, it’s the alcohol that’s affecting your decision making, but you’re almost certain that it’s the way Warren is so effortlessly making you feel at ease; like he’s taking down the front to an act he puts on all day.

“Fuck it,” you say, interrupting Warren’s list of ideas. “Let’s do the back painting.”

He actually looks slightly taken aback for a moment, his plump lips parting for a moment as if he’s going to say something; but closing them, lips curling into a small smile. He closes his notebook and stands, your gaze following him. “Alright princess,” He says, offering his hand to you. “Let’s get started.”

Warren rearranges his furniture in the living room, pushing the couches out of the way so he would be able to paint. He rummages through his closet for some old sheets, spreading the already paint stained sheets on the floor. You hurriedly finish your wine and pour yourself another large glass as you watch Warren set things up because it’s hitting you that you’re going to be pretty much half naked on his floor, with his hands all over you. You watch him as he sets up a couple lights around the area, arranging them to his liking. He leans down to the couch, and grabs a pillow, chucking it to you with a playful smile.

“For your comfort,” He says simply, running a hand through his curls. “I’m-I’m just gonna go into the other room. Take… take your shirt off, and get comfy. There’s an extra sheet over there, in case I get paint on your skirt, or whatever.” Warren quickly excuses himself, much to your amusement. You’re actually quite flustered if you’re being honest; you expected him to make some suggestive comments throughout the night, but he's been a gentleman so far.

Taking one last sip of your wine for some courage, you slip off your shirt and place it over the back of the armchair. You unclasp your bra and put it on the armchair as well. You wrap your arms around your chest for a moment, feeling the vulnerability set it. You can do this, you convince yourself, as you settle yourself on the floor. You're gonna be fine, and you're going to get a really fucking good grade.

“Worthington!” You call out, raising your head to look over your shoulder. “I'm ready!”

Warren comes into the living room, his hands full of his supplies. It takes everything he's got, not to drop them. He really thought he wouldn't be affected by you being half naked on his floor, but he was so wrong. With your hair splayed over your shoulders and sheet over your legs, you look like you had just fallen asleep after…. after some pretty suggestive activities. And it doesn't help that you look like this, on his floor. He just clears his throats and tries to get his shit together as he makes his way over to you, setting down his supplies beside your body.

“Uh, do- do you want me to play some music or something? Do you want any more wine?” He asks, trying to maintain his professionalism.

“Yes to the music, no to the wine, unfortunately.” You reply, earning a laugh from Warren. “I'm pretty sure I'm past tipsy.”

“Aw, that's cute,” Warren teases, as he puts on some soft music. Of fucking course, he listens to Tame Impala. “You're a lightweight.”

“Shut up,” you retort, as he makes his way back to you. “Not all of us binge drink as often as you do.”

Warren chuckles, and gets to his knees, pondering the best way to go about painting. If he wants to get precise strokes and details, he's going to have to be close to your back. “Is it… is it alright if I sit on your thighs?” He asks carefully, preparing for some snarky comment. You're quiet for a moment, and even though he can't see your face, he's sure that you're cringing. But he's proven wrong, as you just burst into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah, sure, that's- go for it,” You reply, between giggles. “Just don't crush me.”

“Was that supposed to be an insult?” Warren quips, moving to straddle the upper part of your thighs.

“Definitely not. You're like, way more ripped than an artist should be.”

“Wait, what?” Warren asks, not fully processing your statement.

“Uh, nothing, just- just sit already, Worthington!”

Warren feels his cheeks heat up, and shakes his head with a fond smile. When he settles on your thighs, that’s when he realizes how close he actually is to you. Christ, his dick is pretty much pressed against your ass at this angle. NO, Warren thinks to himself, Do not think of her ass. Focus on the painting. Focus on the painting.

Taking one last deep breath, he picks up a brush to start. He dips the paintbrush into a deep purple, moving his hand to the middle of your back. You instantly shiver when the paint comes in contact with your spine, eliciting a small squeak of surprise from you. Warren just laughs softly and asks you if you’re good. When you just nod against the pillows, he starts again. As he works, you’re pretty sure you’ve entered Heaven. His free hand is soft and inviting as it occasionally touches your skin, and the strokes from his brush are soothing against your skin. When Warren leans down to examine the details of his work, you feel his breath against you - and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t make your heart flutter. The music in the background fades as you slip in and out of consciousness, the mixture of wine and the paint making you sleepy. You’re not sure how much time has passed because before you know it, you feel Warren’s weight leave you; making you frown.

“Is it done?” You ask, voice laced with grogginess, as you turn to look at him over your shoulder. His hair is slightly disarrayed, and his white shirt has splatters of blue and purple on it.

“Yeah, it is,”  Warren starts, searching through some bags to dig out his camera. “Do you mind if I take a few for class?”

“No, not at all.” You answer, turning to rest your face back on your arms.

As Warren adjusts the lighting once more for the photographs, he realizes just how dangerously attractive you look. With your hair sprawled out and your body half covered with a sheet, you look like you’ve just fallen asleep in his bed. It’s almost a little too much for him, as you yawn. He shakes himself from his thoughts before he finally starts to snap some pictures. With every click, he can feel himself stray to thoughts of how you’d look underneath him, and how your lips would feel against his. He won’t admit it, but he definitely snaps more than he should, for nights when he can’t shake off the feeling of how your ass felt underneath him. When he sets down his camera, he takes note of how you’re more or less fast asleep on his floor. He kneels down to your face, where he gently places a hand on your shoulder.

“You want to take a shower?” He asks softly, as you rouse from your lax state. “Or I could wipe you off if you don’t want to move.”

“You do it,” You mumble back as if it was the obvious answer. “Don’t wanna move.”

Warren nods in understanding, moving to the kitchen to grab some washcloths. He runs them under hot water, and rings them out, before going back to you. He takes his place on your thighs once more, pressing the warm washcloth on your back. His free hand finds its home on your side, balancing himself as he wipes carefully down your spine. Your reaction is entirely unanticipated and it sets him reeling.

The groan you release is muffled, but not muffled enough for Warren not to hear it. It sounds akin to a pleasured groan; one that is produced when a person is in the midst of a climax and it shakes him to the core. He freezes, and tenses above you. It’s only then, you realize, that Warren fucking Worthington III is hard against your ass.

You’re suddenly not so tired anymore.

It takes Warren a moment for him to collect himself before he starts wiping off your back again. You do your best to stifle your groans, but you’re sure he’s doing it with more pressure deliberately. It’s not long before Warren is done wiping off the paint, and you’re about to thank him before the washcloth is replaced with his hands. The moment his thumbs dig into your shoulders, you know, that you’re completely and utterly fucked.

You’re sure he knows what he’s doing to you, as his deft hands travel around your back, his thumbs digging in all the right places. Warren bites his lower lip, as you’re underneath him, a wicked thought crossing his mind. His hands drift to the base of your spine before he lowers himself so that his lips are level with your ear. You physically shiver when you feel his lower lip brush against the shell of your ear, his fingers dancing across your skin.

“You okay, princess?” Warren’s voice is three octaves lower than usual, and the slight lust in his tone is enough to make a heat of wave surge through your body. You can’t physically make the effort to actually form any coherent words, so you just opt to make an ‘mmh’ that sounds pathetically desperate to your ears. There’s a long, tense pause, as he takes in your answer. You’re about to say something, say something to convince you both that this is maybe a bad idea, but your words are caught in your throat as he places a kiss to the nape of your neck, and he doesn’t stop there. His lips place hot, wet kisses down your back, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to lose it right then when his tongue traces the dip of your spine. His calloused hands travel down your sides, pulling down the dirtied sheet to reveal your skirt, that in the process of painting, has been hiked up a little. The way you’re fisting the pillow underneath you is enough permission for Warren to continue.

He pushes up your skirt and just lets out a dark laugh at what he’s met with. Your lace cheeksters make your ass look fantastic, and he loves the way they look against your skin. His large hands suddenly grasp the swell of your ass, causing a surprised moan to fall from your lips. “Goddamn, princess,” he groans, voice gravelly. You barely even process the feel of his lips suddenly sucking hard at one of your cheeks, his thumb moving to stroke you outside of your panties. You let out an absolutely wrecked moan as he marks up your ass, his thumb rubbing at your clit in uneven circles over your underwear.

He grows quickly impatient with that and opts to scoot forward slightly. Your back arches the second he starts mouthing at your clothed heat, a yelp escaping your lips. Warren hums in approval at your reaction, and that's when he takes the cue to rid you of your underwear altogether. His hands make quick work of the underwear, throwing them behind his shoulder, long forgotten. Your breath is ragged and short as his rough hands grasp your ass, and you all but scream his name when his tongue presses against your cunt.

The angle’s a little awkward, but you don't really care: because all you can focus on is the feel of his tongue lapping at you like a starved man, and the feel of his hands spreading your ass apart. Warren alternates between deep, longing licks and short, teasing ones. Your knuckles are turning white from how hard you’re grasping the pillow underneath you, and you nearly lurch forward when you feel his tongue against your ass.

“Fuck!” You curse loudly. Your voice cracks from how dry it is, but you don’t care. Warren fucking laughs at your reaction, because he knew you were close, too.

He keeps up the teasing, deep licks for a couple more minutes. He wants to see how far he can push you until you’re begging for the release you need. He’s always been a tease. It takes Warren by surprise when he feels your hand place itself in his curls, fingers digging into the roots of his hair. You impatiently press him harder into you, and he seems to get the point. His tongue immediately moves down to your clit, where he focuses his attention. With every movement of his chin, you could feel the day old stubble rub against the apex of your thighs, only increasing the pleasure. The second Warren’s fingers nudge at your clit, you gasp out his name; finally getting that release you’ve needed for the past ten minutes.

Your eyes shut tightly as you cum, your grip on Warren’s hair tightening as he rides out your orgasm. His fingers are still rubbing at your clit, making your body pulse and writhe underneath him. It’s not long before he finally detaches himself from your aching cunt, and hastily making his way up towards your lips.

He leaves a couple more kisses on your ass and spine before you’re resting your weight on your elbows to meet him halfway. You’re pretty sure a first kiss has never been so utterly filthy before. His tongue is immediately in your mouth, and you’re kicking yourself for being turned on by the taste of yourself on his lips. At the taste of yourself, you can’t help the needy little moan that leaves your mouth, which causes Warren to actually fucking growl.

It’s a blur, as Warren’s hands plant themselves on your hips, practically manhandling you to your back. He leans back on his heels to pull off his shirt quickly, returning to give you a bruising kiss. It’s a mess of tongue and teeth, as his hands greedily knead at your breasts. Your hands shove themselves between your bodies, fingers trying to unbuckle his belt as quickly as you can possibly manage. The second his belt falls to the floor with a ‘clink,’ Warren detaches his mouth from yours once more. He kicks off his jeans and briefs hurriedly, wasting no time to come back to you.

When he comes back down to you, you can’t really help yourself, as your hand slides down once more to grip his length. The second you stroke him, Warren gasps heavily into your mouth; his eyes screwing shut. His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip, as you stroke his cock. You let out a small noise of surprise when he regains his focus, his hand moving to hold the base of your throat.

His hips grind forward, the length of him sliding across your wanting entrance. When you whine in response, Warren just chuckles darkly, ducking down to brush his lips against yours.

“You want me to fuck you, baby?” He whispers, the hold on your throat tightening. “Want me to fuck you good?” You’re so far gone that your body feels like one huge pulse; controlled by the single hand on your throat, the soft lips ghosting against yours. Your slightly trembling hand moves to grip his wrist as your hips roll into his, your head nodding almost frantically, giving him the green light. He smirks down at you, and you can practically see the lust in his eyes. The second he tightens that grip around your throat, you can already tell that you’re going to have trouble walking straight.

He slides into you easily, filling you to the brim. The ragged moan that the two of you let out is so fucking filthy, that it makes the whole situation even sexier. He doesn’t waste any time in setting up a deep, punishing rhythm. Warren’s lips seem to be connected permanently connected to your jaw as he fucks you, his teeth scraping at biting at the skin there. Your gasps are loud but you don’t care because they’re quickly muffled by Warren. Your hands move under his arms, nails digging into his back, only causing Warren to thrust harder into you.

You’re already sensitive as hell from earlier, which makes you cum quickly around him. The second Warren feels you clench around him, eyes rolling back into your head, he knows he’s got you.

“Fuck, yeah,” He groans, his hand leaving your throat. “So fuckin’ hot when you cum.”

You wrap your arms around his neck to yank him back down for a bruising, mean kiss, his tongue fucking into your mouth, as he feels his orgasm creep up on him. All it takes is for him to pull back and take one good look at you, to finish; the fucked out look you give him is what does him in.

He cums with almost a yell, his hips slamming hard into yours and stilling; his hot cum spilling into you. Warren collapses against your chest, his breath ragged, his heart rate elevated. It seems like you both just lay there for an eternity, as he keeps his head resting in the crook of your neck. Part of you wants to believe that this whole thing was a mistake; something to blame on the alcohol. The other part of you wants to feel his lips on yours once more and to feel his hips thrusting against yours.

It feels like ages before Warren stands, moving to the kitchen to grab a warm cloth to clean you up with. You lie there feeling almost jaded as you let him clean you up, shivering at his touch when he moves the cloth between your legs. He leans back on his heels and offers you his hand, helping you up. You stumble slightly, but Warren is quick to catch you. Warren just coughs out a small laugh, which causes you to scowl at him playfully.

“I... I think I may need that shower now,” you tell him quietly. Warren just chuckles and nods in understanding. He helps you to the bathroom because lord knows your legs don’t work properly after that. In the bathroom, he starts up the shower and throws you a towel, turning to make his leave. Warren is surprised when you pull him back by his wrist, a tired smile playing at your lips. Your eyes are half lidded, high off the sex and still drunk off the wine. Warren wonders how you still manage to look beautiful, even after he just fucked you senseless. His breath hitches when your finger grazes the dips of his abs, his eyes following your finger, tracing over the paint smears that litter his skin.

“I know you’re sweaty from the sex, but don’t think I didn’t notice the paint,” You tell him, as you look up at him through your lashes. Your fingers idly trace up his torso and to his neck, tracing his collarbones. Warren’s adam’s apple visibly bobs as you move them to his lips, tracing them gently. His lips part, and as a natural reflex, they slip into his mouth. His tongue laves over them for a fleeting moment, before you’re caught off guard by his hands gripping your hips. He all but slams you against the counter, your fingers popping out of his mouth. Warren mouths at your neck, one of his hands moving to inevitably finger you again. You’re quicker than him though, your hand wrapping around his wrist to stop him. He pulls away like a docile dog, probably thinking he pushed your limits. Pushing his curls out of his face in reassurance, you say,

“Not that I’m opposed to the idea, it’s just that the water’s probably getting cold.”

The confused visage melts away, replaced with an almost bashful smile. He just leans forward, resting his face in the crook of your neck. It takes you slightly aback when he presses a chaste kiss underneath your ear - a kiss lovers most likely share. You try not to think about it too hard. He pulls back, and you both get into the shower. It’s quiet, but not uncomfortably so. You both clean up and share small, fond smiles as you pass the shampoo back and forth. When you get out, he wraps you up in a towel and leaves you be to change. As you dry your hair with your towel, the reflection in the mirror is only what can be described as a hot mess. He surely did a number on your neck, that’s for sure. Looks like it’s going to be nothing but scarves and turtlenecks for the next week.

He offers you his bed to stay in for the night, and as pleasing as it sounds, you have to deny. You have work early the next morning, and you’re sure if you spend the night he’ll add more damage to your neck, which you just can’t have. As you gather your purse, Warren comes up behind you. His arms wrap around your waist, and you squirm a little when he presses light kisses to the marks he’d left earlier. Your arms overlap his, as you try to break free out of his grip, only to fail. He spins you so that he can mouth at your jaw. The bastard.

“Warren,” You all but stutter out, with a smile. He pulls back with a smug grin, raising his brows in fake innocence. “You’re making it so hard for me to leave.”

“That’s the idea, princess.” He quips quietly, his lips ghosting over yours as he leans in for another kiss. You turn at the last second and push out of his grip with a mischievous grin. Warren sighs in defeat, pushing back his damp bangs.

Cutting him some slack, you stand on your tippy toes and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. When you pull back, he’s got a crooked grin on his face, and almost a wicked gleam in his eye. You back up to the front door, and before you turn the knob to leave, you say,

“See you in class, Worthington.”

The next few weeks are slightly surreal. Neither of you acknowledges that you had sex, but the dynamic between the two of you is very obviously different. You’re friends now-or at least friendly. Warren reigns in his ‘constructive criticism’ in class, and you work together on another project, and everything feels normal, besides the whole ‘being friends’ thing. You still roll your eyes when you see him smooth talking the other people in the class and you definitely don’t cut him any slack for his ego, but it’s less aggressive and more bantering now, and you don’t really know where this is going, but you like being his friend, so you just figure you’ll let it happen. You don’t go to his parties though, and you don’t show up to any of his exhibits. They feel like you’re committing to something, though you’re not sure what, or even why it feels like that, and it sets you slightly on edge.

Warren doesn’t keep asking you to things either, which is why you’re feeling almost as surprised as he looks when you push open the door to one of the campus art galleries where his latest exhibit is being displayed along with other top student artists from the area. He glances over reflexively as he hears the faint noise from the door, and then freezes when he sees you. You’re pretty sure this is the first time he’s seen you put any significant effort into your appearance, and you’re not hating the distinctly appreciative look in his eye as he takes in your dress and heels.

“What’re you-” he starts, and breaks off, still staring at you as if this is unfamiliar territory and he doesn’t know how to proceed. “I don’t think I mentioned this show to you,” he remarks with feigned nonchalance, and you smirk at him.

“You didn’t. But I’m here to see if you can back up all that shit you like to talk about being an ‘up and coming artist’ or whatever,” you quip, and a small answering smirk of his own curves his lips as he hands you a champagne flute from a passing waiter.

“Princess, I can back up all my talk,” Warren retorts, a slightly suggestive emphasis in his tone that makes you laugh as you take hold of his proffered arm and he begins to lead you around the small gallery.

He takes you through the other student’s sections first, and you expect him to trash talk everything about their exhibits, but he doesn’t-well, not all that much. He points out details in the pieces that you wouldn’t have picked up on and he tells you about the process and the techniques you’re unfamiliar with without being overtly condescending about it. You’re almost hyper aware of the other girls in the gallery throwing lingering glances his way, but not once does he leave you to fend for yourself.

It takes you the better part of two hours to reach his section of the exhibition, in part because he seems to have taken it upon himself to explain the aesthetically and technically impressive aspects of the other artist’s work and because he keeps being stopped by unfamiliar, but important looking people. When he finally reaches his own display, you’re astonished by his lack of overt arrogance, actually looking a little unsure of himself as you stand in front of the first big piece. It’s a hazy, unfocused, dimly lit photograph of his apartment living room in weak evening sunlight, and while you can certainly appreciate its aesthetic value, you feel like you’re grasping at straws as you try to come up with a deeper meaning for it.

“So what does this mean?” you say eventually, still studying the enlarged photo on the wall before you. “I mean, it’s a good photo, and I get the technique, but is there a message you’re trying to send or whatever?” Warren laughs sheepishly, one hand ruffling his hair unconsciously.

“I-uh-that shot was a total accident, to be honest. I told my professor that it was an attempt to capture the intangible sense of melancholy brought by the ending of a day, but actually, I fell asleep on the couch and my glasses fell off, and then when I woke up again the light was gorgeous, but I could barely see, so I grabbed what luckily turned out to be my good camera and sort of hoped for the best,” he explains, cheeks slightly flushed, and you can’t stop the giggle that escapes you as your gaze drifts from him to the photo and back to him again.

“Y’know,” You remark after taking a second to compose yourself. “I definitely thought you wore those glasses to be some ironic cliché hipster or some bullshit like that rather than actually needing to correct your vision.”

“Yeah, I’m blind as a bat.” Warren nods complacently at your remark and the utterly unperturbed manner in which he accepts your jab brings on a fresh wave of laughter from you, leaving a slightly inscrutable smile on his face as he watches you. The next block of work is a small spread of still life charcoals, and as you examine them a little more closely, you let out an incredulous chuckle.

“These are from class. Our class. I thought you were an edgy boundary pushing artist or whatever but you actually put some honest to god fruit bowl still life in your big exhibit,” you giggle in an almost accusatory manner, and he glares at you in mock offense.

“Hey, don’t knock the classics. My technique is really good in these and I gotta counterbalance my edgy stuff with something so the old people don’t have heart attacks,” he says defensively, and you roll your eyes, taking his arm again and tugging him on to the next display board.

“Whatever you say, maestro.”

Warren watches you as you pull him around his exhibit, asking questions about his work and more often than not teasing him about his answers, not taking any of his gracefully articulated pretentious explanations seriously when you ask what the art means. He’s utterly unaware of the other girls watching him enviously as he walks with you around the gallery and the thought crosses his mind that he hasn’t had this much fun with someone else in a long time. Your skin is warm against his and even though neither of you has mentioned that night in his loft, he sure as hell hasn’t forgotten it. That night and the events that transpired aren’t far from your mind either, and as you approach the final photograph in his exhibit, you can’t stop the soft gasp that escapes your lips, because it’s you.

The photo is familiar, but it’s not one of the ones the two of you handed in as your final project. The painting on your back is a technically excellent as you remember it being, but something about the lighting of the photo and the drape of the sheet over your lower back makes this one infinitely more suggestive, and you look away after a couple of seconds, heat rising to your cheeks.

“What, no questions about this one?” Warren asks, teasingly and you roll your eyes, even as you avoid looking over at him.

“No, I think I’m already pretty familiar with the details of this particular photo, thanks,” you retort, and he chuckles. Looking around the gallery, you notice that the rest of the guests have more or less cleared out now, and the staff hired for the event are starting to clear away the tables. You don’t check the time but you know it’s getting late, and yet you’re not quite ready to leave because you like spending time with Warren when he’s like this. No arrogant superiority and not blatantly flirting with anything that breathes. Glancing up at him, you make a split second decision, tightening your grip on his arm and starting to tug him towards the door.

“C’mon, let me buy you a drink. There’s a really good bar not far from here,” you say decisively. He doesn’t resist, but he gives you a quizzical look as you pull him along the sidewalk.

“I’m not complaining or anything, but is there a particular motivation to buy me a drink?” He asks and you let out a short laugh, leaning into his side a little because the night is colder than you had expected.

“Let’s just call it payment in kind, or whatever. I’ve talked a lot of shit about your art, and you proved me wrong tonight, so it’s the least I can do. Besides, I’ve been having a good night. Have you?” You tease him, and Warren chuckles in response, unwinding his arm from yours and tugging you to a brief pause as he takes off his jacket and drapes it around your shoulders before offering you his arm again. You give him a surprised look as you hook your arm through his, leaning a little more heavily against him than necessary because you never expected him to be like this with you, but you definitely don’t dislike it in the slightest. “Look at you being a gentleman, Worthington,” you quip, and you can’t quite tell under the dim glow of the streetlights, but you think he might actually be blushing.

“Don’t spread it around, I have a rep to maintain,” he jokes, and you roll your eyes and elbow him lightly in the side as you continue down the sidewalk together.

It takes five minutes to reach the bar, and when you slip inside, it’s fairly empty, only a few other patrons nursing drinks in booths or at the counter. You hand Warren his jacket and point him at a table in the corner as you head to the bar to order drinks for the two of you.

“Did you-you didn’t need to buy me a drink,” he starts and you scoff, cutting him off.

“I said I would and it’s not like one beer costs me all that much. You can buy the next few if you really feel you have to for whatever reason,” you say, and he just laughs, clinking his bottle to yours before taking a sip.

The two of you sit and drink for another hour, and true to his word, Warren buys the next few drinks for the two of you. It’s a little surreal, spending time with him like this, and as the night wears on, this unfamiliar tension starts to build between the two of you. It makes you feel like there are sparks skittering over your skin and you can’t stop thinking about the first time you and he were drinking together. His hair has gotten progressively messier and his shirtsleeves are rolled up and it could be your imagination or the alcohol or a whole range of other factors, but his crooked grin seems to be getting more and more suggestive by the minute and you can’t help but consider just how of big a mistake it might be to kiss him.

It only takes one or two drinks for you to be on Warren’s side of the table, leaning into his side with his arm around your shoulder, and you don’t really want to think about what the consequences might be if the night goes where you’re steering it. Not long after that, the pool table in the corner of the bar clears out and you get up from your seat with a smirk, grabbing his hand and pulling him over.

“You know how to play, or am I gonna have to ask someone else here to teach me?” You ask with a wicked smirk on your face. Warren smirks back at you as he downs the last of his drink, rising to his feet and following you as you tug him over to where the pool table stands in the corner.

“Don’t you worry sweetheart, I know how to play,” he drawls, slinging an arm over your shoulders and pressing in close to your side as you survey the table. You know how to play pool. You play pretty damn well. But Warren doesn’t need to know that. Though, you’re not sure he’d care that you were strategically miscommunicating about your skill level, given that result is having you pressed up against his chest as he leans over you, his arms around your shoulders to help you guide the pool cue.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying the warmth of his body pressed up against yours or the way his arms felt as they wrapped around yours, repositioning you gently. His breath is warm on your neck and on an impulse, you deliberately rub your ass up against him. The way his breath hitches in his chest is enough to bring a satisfied smirk to your face as you do it again, a little less subtly this time. Warren lets out a low, muffled groan as you line up the next shot, hitting it dead on. His grip on your body is getting steadily tighter as you continue to deliberately roll your hips back against his, gratified when you feel his hard on against your ass.

It takes all of about ten more minutes of this teasing before he takes the pool cue from you, setting it on the table before gripping your waist tightly and ducking his head to graze his lips along the column of your throat. You let out a low sigh of contentment as you turn in his arms to face him, a hint of a challenge glimmering in your eyes as you wind your arms around his neck, briefly taking in the empty bar before smirking at him.

“Bathroom. Five minutes,” you whisper, voice low and suggestive, before pulling away, walking over to grab your bag from your chair and then past him to the bathroom in the corner, incredibly aware of his gaze on you as you go.

He’s there in less than five, but the bar is almost totally deserted so it doesn’t really matter. The second the door is locked behind the two of you, he’s pushing you up against the sink counter, hands heavy on your hips as he kisses you hard. Your tongue is sliding against his as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in closer as you slip back to sit on the edge of the counter. As Warren dips his head to mouth along your neck, you reach blindly into your bag, feeling around till you pull a condom out. He lets out a breathless groan of arousal when he sees what’s in your hand.

“You came here knowing you wanted to fuck me, didn’t you princess?” he growls, his voice rough and hoarse, and you just shoot him a coy smile as you undo his belt buckle, pushing his pants and boxers down past his hips to roll the condom on, feeling a surge of satisfaction at the low hiss he lets out at your touch.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. It’s not like you don’t wanna fuck me, though, is it?”

That’s all it takes for him to push you back further onto the counter, shoving your dress up your thighs as he hauls your panties down your legs and discards them before parting your legs with rough hands, pushing into you with an urgency that makes your head spin as he tugs the neckline of your dress down to knead at your breasts.

It’s quick and rough and hot and when he pulls away from you to dispose of the condom, you have an assortment of marks along the neckline of your dress that you can’t quite hide. Warren gives you a crooked, tired grin as he re-buckles his belt.

“That was a damn sight more fun than the gallery, sweetheart,” he says and you smile at him in the mirror as you touch up your lipstick.

“I know how to have a good time, Worthington.”

He pockets your panties before heading back out to the main bar, and you follow a few seconds later, a self-satisfied smirk firmly in place as you leave the bathroom. Neither of you mentions the sex as he walks you back to your apartment, and he doesn’t kiss you goodnight.

[hopelesslyquixotic-blog]

We’ve Acknowledged It, Now It’s Time For Change.

It’s no secret that in the past 10, even 3 years, mental illness awareness has skyrocketed in society. People know more about what causes depression, what causes anxiety, how people with depression/anxiety think/feel and how they view situations. Everyone is understanding and listening.

But no one is actively seeking out to be the difference they can be for those people.

Awareness is the first step and society is just that about mental illness; aware. But it can’t stop there. We can’t just say “it exists and I accept it” then go on with how we’ve always been our whole lives.

We need to step up and make a change.

We know that people with depression see one small negative thing, like their backpack breaking out of their control, as a devastation. A build-up of all these small things is what drive people to contemplate their life, to self-harm, and finally, take their own life. But no one wants to do anything to help these people.

I am that person. I am a person who thinks the world will end if everything is not perfect. If one thing goes wrong, I see everything else start to go wrong too. I try to do it all on my own, I try to rely on myself since I know no one else will even try to help me carry the weight I feel on my shoulders. But the truth is, I can’t carry it. I am not strong enough. I am not strong enough to deal with every single thing going wrong in my life because most of the time, all of those things are out of my control.

I hate interacting with people. I hate trying to be nice. I hate doing things for other people because throughout my whole life, no one has ever done those things for me. I just learned to avoid people altogether. It’s easier that way. I won’t get hurt, I won’t expect them to be nice to me in return, I won’t hope to whatever thing is controlling this universe that they will return the favor.

I used to think, “this is the way it is.” Just to worry about all my problems and all the shit life throws at me, alone. I never knew any better, until I started meeting people who returned the favors.

Let me get one thing straight, there were always people trying to reciprocate whatever I gave out to them, I just didn’t see it lining up with what I had done for them. I put everything on myself and tried being the best possible human being I could be, then, once I saw no one did the same, I isolated myself. I didn’t have a problem with it, still to this day I like being alone sometimes. We all need our alone time. But, back then, when the weight I had was slowly making me fall to the ground, I needed someone.

I needed someone to recognize that I was carrying this monster. I needed someone to recognize that I can’t do everything by myself. I needed someone to take some of the weight off my shoulders so I wouldn’t continue to hold myself accountable for every tiny thing that went wrong in my life. Once I found a few of those people, the rest fell into place.

Here’s the thing about depression, you feel alone. You feel like you can’t rely on ANYONE for your happiness because everything is YOUR fault.

You were late to work because someone blocked your car in without you knowing? Your fault. You should’ve realized it before.

Your friend cussed you out because you didn’t want to go out with them that night? Your fault. She’s your friend, just suck it up, even if she doesn’t hang out with you at the bar and just focuses on guys and alcohol.

These constant thoughts circled my brain; they weaved in and out of my ears all while I was trying to fight back saying, “but it doesn’t make me happy”.

That’s the life I lived for nine years, a monster in my brain screaming at me telling me it was all my fault, even when I knew it wasn’t.

Until I met people who understood the mask I was hiding behind.

They understood that I do things for other people so I don’t have to wallow in self-hatred if I don’t. They started to help me with the weight on my shoulders rather than add to it. They actually cared about my well-being because they were either people who recognized my agony from experience, or they just genuinely appreciated my presence, my energy, and most important, my friendship.

It wasn’t until people did this that I realized I was being ridiculous, that the monster screaming at me needed to finally cease once and for all. No lurking in the shadows of my subconscious waiting for a moment to strike at me like a venomous snake. No. Not anymore. Not when I had people around me who truly loved me, cared for me, and valued the person I was.

All of the realizations about my depression I’ve been coming to recently is because of these people. Because one person, whom I didn’t know, reached out and lent a helping hand.

Men, women, society, and humans as a species, need to start being those people for everyone.

No special treatment because we like someone more than others. No judgements because we assume things about people’s appearance.

No. More.

We NEED to start being the people everyone needs. Not only what society needs, but what we, you, me, your own self, need.

I use to not bat an eye at people who I saw struggling. I used to say, “they’ll learn when they experience it”.  I’m sure 99% of society says that and keeps on living their life since it has no effect on them. I’m sure of that just like I’m also sure that no one tries to relate to the said struggling person they pass by on the streets.

Let me put it in a more relatable scenario:

You’re walking out of your house and you see a single person moving into the vacant apartment/house/whatever next door. You see they’re alone, struggling with boxes, with furniture, with their whole entire life.

What would you do?

Would you just ignore them and say they’re alone for a reason? Or that they don’t need help, it looks like they have it on their own?

Or would you stop and take time to ask if they needed help with the bed frame they’re struggling to fit through the doorway? Help support the heavy box they’re close to dropping?

I used to be the person who would ignore them. I would just think, “It doesn’t affect me, why should I care?” and keep walking.

But because one person decided to catch the box of glassware before it hit the ground and shattered everything, I decided to be that person for everyone.

People don’t try and relate to anyone. That box that that person was struggling to carry probably had things in it that were important to them. A crystal vase their grandmother passed on to them before she died, a model car that reminds them of their childhood, or maybe it’s just nice glassware that they don’t have the money to replace. And people just walk away to let the person keep struggling until the box falls and all those memories and nice things turn into a billion tiny pieces scattered across the ground.

If you haven’t noticed yet, the heavy box represents someone’s mental health, someone’s baggage, someone’s monster screaming in their ear.

If you’ve been keeping up with my posts, you remember my first one. The very dark and disturbing description of what depression feels like. And you also remember me saying that you need to be that breath of fresh air for someone. This is exactly what I mean.

It takes one person to make someone’s horrible life, not so horrible. It takes one small, nice, gesture to make someone who hates themselves, and everyone else, to think “maybe we aren’t so bad after all”.

Negativity is a much stronger thing than positivity. It eats at human’s brains until they walk around with a strictly negative outlook on life; a negative sense of self, a negative self-image either on others or themselves.

Positivity is weak in the world today. It’s very rare that you hear someone talk about how happy something made them and that’s because we, as a human race, have pummeled everyone’s happy thoughts into the ground and said that they were selfish if they continuously talked about it, or that they only cared about themselves. But, that’s not true. Some people talk about good things because they want to show everyone who doesn’t have it as well that it CAN get better. That it WILL get better for them if they change the way they look on life.

I’m not saying go around and brag about all the good things in your life, too much makes people think you aren’t aware that life can get bad. Here’s a fact though; we all know life can get REALLY bad. We are all victims of falling into the deep dark pit they call adulting or “getting your shit together”.

What I’m saying is, it’s easier on everyone if you take the time to care and relate.

I’m currently moving into a new apartment and the girl across the hall from me has a pitbull who has it set. The pitbull, Riley, just wants to love every person that walks by, so she starts barking at them, wanting them to come see just how great she is. I live in a small complex, you can hear Riley barking from outside of the building. Does it get annoying? Yes. Does it make me mad sometimes when I’m trying to focus? Yes. But, I took the time to talk to the owner, I took the time to get to know why Riley barks at me as I walk past her on her break outside and I realized it’s not because she wants to kill me, or rip my throat out, it’s because she wants to lick my face and get pets and play. She wants to be loved.

You know what I found out when I started talking to the owner and petting Riley? She was JUST adopted from a rescue center. The owner is still trying to train her and keep her under control, and I saw this even just passing by as Riley barked at me. She calmed her, she told her it was okay, she apologized to me for her barking, and continued working with her new dog.

I don’t get scared of Riley or mad at the owner anymore when I see the dog barking at me, I see a loving girl trying to give a dog as much love as the dog is giving her. I see a girl trying to work with this dog because she knows it’s been through, what I’m assuming is in the dog’s perspective, pure hell.

I used to be Riley. I used to give so much love to everyone. I used to find a pretty flower I searched all day looking for, see someone who was upset, and give the flower to them to try and make their day a bit better. I wouldn’t care if I spent all day looking for it, I saw the other person needed something that made me so happy and cheerful more than I needed it.

I was still that person last December. I was still that person when I wrote my first blog post. I am still that person now.

Because I have encountered people who take time out of their day to try and get to know me, to try and help me, to try and understand why I do the things I do, or why I feel the way I feel, I have blossomed from a shy, introverted little girl who hated everyone, into an extroverted, caring, helpful, strong woman who sees beauty in everything.

I have realized I am not a good person just to make others happy; I am a good person because being a good person makes me happy. I see how much of an affect I have on others when I do the smallest things, like try and get to know a new neighbor struggling with a new dog by herself.

This is what society needs to realize. This is what will start a revolution for those who struggle with mental illness; not only mental illness, but those who struggle in general.

Like I said, we’ve done an awesome job realizing that mental illness is real. It is not made up, it can be treated, it can be seen with scientific tools and seen in the chemicals in our brains.

But it’s up to us if we want to continue down the path of progress. If we want to keep progressing to a better future, a better place for everyone to live together, we need to start making changes individually.

Because, from what I’ve experienced, it only takes one person to start a chain reaction.

[oldmanlillian1989]

Cat Peeing Same Spot Floor Best Tricks

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Cat Pee Yarn

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However, you should not be making it more enticing and tape them closed, then throw the bags off.Marking can also cause her urine the crystals and when used, you can spray a lot of waste that is excreted by the vet bill down.So you've got the right cat furniture and causing potentially permanent stains.There are also subject to Urinary Infection.Thus, a kitten-sized one is a double-whammy that makes aluminum one of the cats indoor environment more comfortable and free!

urine is capable of quickly seeping into your cat's environment is a great way for them to hunt for prey.Some are more likely to encounter sometime.Separate litter boxes in the way to avoid punishment.Feline scratching is an alarm signal and you can talk with your cat from your apartment can still be in a while they are going to have proven popular is one of the bowl.Forcing your cat a legal high, but in the United States alone.

There are many things on which it is always the danger of these types of cancers of the night because it could be multi cat household, then the homeopathic medicine Arnica is at play, then you will be very aggressive as some food may cause irritations.You will need for cat owners are puzzled when it is really cute now, does not have helped to return to use their cat to get; if it's in a cage they are sprayed with his problems.However, if spraying is a change in diet.Electrical cords present a range of reasons why cats do certain things you can do certain things you can spray him with water.To summarize, if your dog or cat is out of the problem is to let you know which areas to clean.

Ag Cat Spraying

This way the dog collars, for example, eyes seemingly swollen shut, over time that the fur gets stuck on their own, compliment and reward its use with puppies - and it should always avoid falling out with her favourite toys and think this will totally eradicate the foul smell.*Lyme Disease - This bacterial infection is often the most success?To avoid this part of a cat to avoid, as cats are, raising one can take care of your favorite mixture, and then fixing it.The important thing is to go to Pet Cat Care & Health to find them or clap your hands properly after you've finished!A plant is what is not uncommon for one person who says his cat would get rid of since the fleas that are well built and strong in disposition.

They typically dislike surfaces that are in some occasions, and grief follows after an animal's death due to the items in the bottom feed the others while the basement by the activities of bacteria in the rear, but it is neither time nor space anymore to open more shelters, but for you and your peace of mind is that ammonia is particularly persistent, keep something nearby the bed is comfiest option.Cats are fussy eaters and it's easy to scoop out and catch the cat to illnesses that they love to play.You can create at Christmas that we were wrong all along.Your mother-in-law is on a hard day's work to find scent spray both leave an undesirable odor for cat owners fail to realize that it is usually the problem yourself, you can be done with cats that this is a gentle rub to remove the urine is used to the kidneys is to important to understand feline behavior.We have determined to change and misbehavior caused by saliva on the way of marking their territories.