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nuwanda24 · 2 months ago

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You do not get to hurt me just because I asked you once if you were alright

So I've seen a lot of time-travel fix-it stories and most of them involve either not all of the main cast remembering the events of the five seasons or them not talking to each other about it. And I always thought that, in case he remembered, Arthur wouldn't want to make his gravest mistake again - to not talk about things. He never talked, actually talked, to Merlin about all the times he went missing for a few days, about all the strange things that happened around him, he never talked to Morgana about her nightmares, about her fears, he never talked to Gwen about what they both want from their relationship, about Lancelot, her (enchanted) betrayal. He never talked to his knights or anyone for that matter in a way that would leave him emotionally vulnerable. Talking about things makes them real, and I always got the impression that Arthur isn't half as dense or unobservant as we think, but simply refuses to think deeper about certain matters because he knows that it might change things or that it might lead to him discovering truths that might force him to lose those he loves. Not talking and knowing makes things easier for the moment, but it's what ultimately lead to his death. So I thought that if he were sent back in time and remembered, he would talk to people about it, both about the years they've lived and lost, and about all the things he never addressed when he was still alive. And I think the most important thing to change the future is not talking to Merlin and letting him help and knowing what's going on so that Arthur can help him, but it is clearing the air with Morgana, rebuilding their broken bond and getting her back. And that first conversation between the two siblings just jumped me on a trainride a vew days back and I had to flesh it out, and here it is.

The Set-up of my little headcanon-AU is that Arthur wakes up in his room after he died, and things are off in his chambers. Things that he added after he ascended the throne are missing, things from his days as crown prince that he knows are broken are here again, the table is in the wrong corner, etc. And the cherry on top is that instead of Merlin, Morris comes in to wake him and tells him his schedule for the day, which include an inspection as head knight, the arrival of Lady Helen, a fitting for the celebration that it's been 20 years since the Great Dragon was captured, and a dinner with his father and Morgana. Confused, Arthur fakes to be ill and spends the rest of the day brooding, working out the time-travel thing and generally brooding about Merlin. He slowly realises all the times that man has saved his life, as well as some of the points in his life where he made the wrong choice and things turned out for the worse, especially in regards to Morgana. In the evening, he forces himself downstairs to the family dinner, where Morgana behaves very odd, making him suspect that she, too, remembers (Uther doesn't, or at least doesn't show anything). Desperately needing to have the talk with his sister that was years in the making, Arthur again feigns an illness to get out of the dinner and compose himself, before he heads over to Morgana's quarters. That's were this fic starts.

In case this attracts the attention of anyone who'd be interested in fleshing out this AU, please do so! I would love to write more, but I know that I'm not very good at staying on the ball and finishing long stories.

Arthur had stood before Morgana’s door, hand raised to know, for what felt like eternity. What was he even doing here? The last time they had seen each other he had been nearly dead and unable to response, and then he had watched as Merlin had run her through with Excalibur. What do you say to the sister you once loved, before she turned on you? Before you spent years trying to kill each other, and succeeded? And yet, he couldn’t walk away. He had to talk to her, no matter how painful the conversation might turn out to be. He wouldn’t risk losing her a second time. He didn’t think he’d be able to survive that kind of heartbreak. He hesitantly brought his hand down on the door, knocking softly. Once, twice.

“Come in.”

Arthur gently opened the door, only to remain close to it. Surprise hushed over Morgana’s face, followed by grief. She quickly turned around, evading his prodding gaze.

“What do you want, Arthur? I thought you were ill.”

“I came to talk.“

Her shoulders tensed, but she didn’t speak.

“You were… different, this evening.”

“Different? You’re as eloquent as always, Arthur.”

She strode toward the window, getting as much space between them as her rooms allowed. Arthur pressed on.

“You were distant, reserved. You refused to meet my eye, still do. And if you did look at me - if I didn’t know better, I’d say it might have been grief in your eyes, and guilt.”

Morgana’s shoulders tensed further, yet she remained silent, gaze directed outside on the courtyard, while not registering anything at all.

“You know, I always thought of you as a sister. I know I wasn’t great in showing my affections, but I always hoped I’d be someone you could confide in. Someone you could trust. I certainly trusted you.”

Still, Morgana refused to face him or break her silence, or correct his past tense. It was confirmation enough for him. She remembered. So he decided to press on, to get those thoughts off his chest that had plagued him for the last years and refused to let him sleep.

“I know I failed in showing you that. I failed to protect you from father, I didn’t nearly stand up enough to Uther even when I knew he was wrong. I left you alone, frightened, facing fears and dangers I can’t ever imagine. In that, I betrayed your trust. You were battling with demons I can’t begin to comprehend, had to life in fear of the pyres for no other crime but simply existing.

But was it enough to justify what you did? Did my failures justify the death of hundreds of innocents, the safety and freedom of Camelot? Your quarrel was with me, and Uther, what gave you the right to pull our kingdom into it? Where did I fail so spectacularly that you’d rather turn to a woman you didn’t know, who only abused you for her own revenge, than to confide in me when you realised you had magic? What happened to the woman who scolded me for going hunting and trying to mend a broken heart with killing, that she was willing to do the very same?”

“She died the moment Merlin tried to kill me.” Morgana’s voice was full of pain and anger, of restricted hurt. Her eyes showed the same emotions as she finally turned around and met his gaze.

“I was scared, alone with my powers and no clue how to control them, and one of the only people I thought I could trust, who knew about my magic, who had promised to help me and to protect me, chose to poison me. I was innocent, back then. And yet he decided to kill me, instead of trying to find another way, or tell me what was wrong. I had trusted him, had trusted you, and you betrayed me, when I hadn’t even given you a reason for that. Morgause might have used me, but she was the only one who saw me as who I truly am, and didn’t back away. She still loved me, with all my failings. She was my sister, and Merlin killed her. And then he killed me.”

“And I am your brother and yet you tried to kill me. And in the end you succeeded. I died, Morgana, we both did. We died in a stupid war of our own making, that had cost us everything we ever loved or believed in. And Merlin did what he thought was right. You really think he’d have poisoned you if there had been another way, however slim the chance of success, to undo the curse? If you do you don’t know him at all. You were his friend as well as mine, as well as Gwen’s, and your betrayal hurt him as much as me. I can’t fault you for things out of your control, for your magic and for turning to the only person you felt save around, it’s true. But you can��t fault him for what he did to protect Camelot, to protect me.”

“You always defend him, don’t you? No matter what he has done, no matter how he lied to you. No matter that he killed me. He betrayed you as well as me.”

It took Arthur a moment to answer. She had struck a nerve. But he had come to terms with Merlin’s magic, in his last few days, in today’s brooding.

“I know about him now. And I can’t fault him for hiding that from me, either. All he ever did was for Camelot, and for me. I only hope that I get a chance to thank him, and to apologise. To repair the trust that was broken.”

They both knew he wasn’t only talking about Merlin.

“And if his actions towards you left you unable to ever trust him again, you are in your right. But I still want to try. I want to get the sister back I lost before I ever realised that I even had her.”

His words hung heavy between them. When Morgana spoke again, her voice was quiet and thick with tears.

“Why are we here again, Arthur? Is this some sort of cosmic joke, is this the goddess’ way of punishing us for our mistake, by forcing me to face every single one I ever hurt? By forcing me to live with my guilt? Didn’t we pay enough with dying?”

It was heartbreaking to see her like this. To realise that her face only mirrored his soul. They were both marred by their choices. They couldn’t go back to the young nobles they used to be in this time. But Arthur would be damned if he didn’t do his best to mend what was broken between them.

“Maybe this is a second chance. A gift, rather than a curse, to allow us to set things right. To find a way out of this never-ending war. I certainly hope so. And I know that I can’t achieve that on my own.”

“Why are you so calm? The Arthur I knew would have screamed, shouted, thrown goblets and insults, and me in the dungeons. If you remember as well as me, why do you ask me for help? Why do you even bother talking to me, why don’t you just go to Uther and tell him about my magic and get this over with? If you want to change the future, just let him kill me and you’ll stop everything I did from repeating itself!”

“Because you are my sister, Morgana, and I love you! Do you really think I would kill you? That I would let you burn? The Arthur you knew died as well as the Morgana I grew up with. And I died full of regrets, and the biggest one was that I failed to be a king that my friends felt like they could trust. Both you and Merlin were too afraid of me to tell me about your magic, to tell me about anything that was going on. And I think this is why everything went to hell in the first place. And now that I know, I want to be let in. I want to help you figure things out, to prevent you from turning, again. I missed you every single day, Morgana. Yes, there were times where I hated you for what you did. I don’t think I can ever fully forgive you for what you��ve done to Camelot. But I can’t live through losing you a second time, I simply can’t! Not when we have a chance to change things.”

He was crying now. To hell with Uther and all his comments that real men didn’t cry. He needed her to see the extent of his feelings, the sincerity of his request. Morgana’s resolve crumbled as well. She sunk down on the windowsill, staring into the night and letting the tears flow freely. For a long time neither of them spoke.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” The words were a whisper, barely audible over the still unspoken, screaming words between them. “I want to change, I want to undo all that I’ve done, but how? We both killed, and lied, and died. We fucking died, Arthur! In more ways than one, and I don’t even know if I still know how to live. If I even want to live. If I’m not already a monster, unable to crawl back to the light. How could I change the course of history when I can’t even look at myself in the mirror? When I don’t have it in me right now to trust you?”

“If you are a monster, then so am I. And relearning to live with ourselves will take time. If you want, we can start with a truce. No more secrets, no more lying. Trust takes time to build, but I want to be able to trust you again, For you to trust in me. If you are ready and willing to talk, come to me and I will be there. That is all I ask.”

His shoulders sagged at Morgana’s small answering nod. That was more than he could have hoped for. He sent her a small smile in return. “Good night, ‘Gana.” He left his sister’s chambers too fast to see the freshly dwelling tears at the old nick name, yet still slow enough to catch her feather soft “Good night, Arthur.”

#bbc merlin #merlin #arthur pendragon #king arthur #morgana #morgana pendragon #siblings #time travel

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techni-kolor · 2 years ago

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Meursault’s Origins

Hello everyone! (Or the approx 4 and a half people who will view this!)

I was wondering recently why Meursault’s appearance in the anime/manga looked so damn familiar and it FINALLY clicked tonight! And I decided to share my likely insane revelation. Hint: It involves someone we already know.

My theory is that Meursault is an experiment that was based on Arthur Rimbaud’s ability “Illuminations” and then later perfected after the war had finished. From what we know about the Great War in the BSD Universe it involved a fair amount of ability users! From spies-- Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Verlaine, to medics-- Yosano Akiko, Mori Ougai, to soliders-- Fukuchi Ochi, Fukuzawa Yukichi, even experimental life forms designed to turn the tide of a war-- Nakahara Chuuya. Basically the whole war became a clash of abilities so strong and volatile that it nearly tore the whole world apart. And who do we know who is fantastic at containing volatile entities/abilities and served in the war on the side of France? Mr. Randou himself.

Exhibit A: The location of the prison itself. France is the known origin country of Arthur Rimbaud. He served the DGSS in it’s field operations division for many years there and remained loyal to them until losing his memories. I always found it odd that Meursault was in Western Europe since most of the major conflict arcs take place locally in Japan but this could explain the significance. Meursault itself is also a French word which could be another tie or simply a clue to its precise location.

Exhibit B + C: We know that Illuminations is capable of containing extremely powerful abilities within its hyperspace AND capable of restraining Dazai when needed. Rimbaud literally retrieved an entity who defies the laws of physics in the form of Arahabaki and was also easily able to work around the possibility of nullification when battling Dazai in the Fifteen Arc by simply encasing him within a sub-sub space of his ability.

Exhibit D: French researcher Pan and the existence of Black No. AKA Paul Verlaine. We already know that experimentation was happening in France at the hands of a citizen and that when the DGSS became aware they halted it. However, we know that the information gathered by these trials was not destroyed as it falls into the hands of the Japanese Government a short time later leading to ...

(Suribachi City built in the aftermath of Arahabki emerging due to war time experiments.)

We don’t know exactly why the information was never destroyed. Unless there was reason to keep it under government power rather than riding the world of unethical, immoral instructions on human lab rats. Something like using it in further experiments themselves?

Exhibit E: This is likely painfully obvious but it just looks similar! The yellow, glowing, floating squares evoke the same imagery. Which I admit could be a coincidence and why the cells are rounded rather than squares in the anime ... but the yellow, shimmering look is interesting.

Now ... why would such a thing be needed? And why would such a thing exist specifically in times of war? Well I thought about and decided that maybe Meursault has a darker history than we imagined. I wonder if Mersault was designed to house prisoners of war. A prison that could entrap any ability user for an indefinite period of time sounds rather helpful when the enemy has strong Gifteds, right? Imagine Mori’s troops without Yosano Akiko or Japan losing Fukuchi Ochi’s Mirror Lion ability for combat? It could easily turn the tide of the war if enough ability users were removed from the battle field. It’s only once the war is over that it is converted to a maximum security prison

And maybe all the other sneaky experiments contained within its walls are halted ,,, dense water anyone? It would suck to be waterboarded with as an enemy spy or to surround important locations where you do not want enemy forces marching into. Interesting technology at the very least and quite possibly the result of another gravity manipulator? Someone else we know? Such as Paul Verlaine, another French spy who was involved in experiments himself? It’s all very intriguing, my friends!

#bungou stray dogs spoilers #BSD spoilers #Stormbringer spoilers #BSD #Bungou stray dogs #Meursault #decay of angels #dazai osamu #nakahara chūya #Paul verlaine #Arthur Rimbaud #Fifteen BSD #BSD Manga #BSD theory #potentially triggering

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nevarran-hahren · 9 months ago

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finished this portrait series of my shadow monk, Juno, illustrating their journey from Chosen of Bhaal to reformed bhaalspawn~

I am nearing the end of their playthrough, having just fought Orin and getting ready for an ill-advised alliance with an ex. the 1v1 duel with Orin was literally SO EASY as a monk, I cast hold monster on her in the first round of combat and then just punched her to death in two turns before she could take a single action. my last durge was a druid, and I struggled with the Orin duel on that playthrough, only actually winning because her AI glitched out and she kept skipping her actions (oops)

JUNO BEFORE THE TADPOLE

the top image shows two versions of Juno before the tadpole, first dressed up in their best cult leader ritual night finery and then in full assassin mode, stalking the shadows like a ghost. I really liked the way the face mask covers the lower half of their face, so that their identity is entirely hidden except for those piercing, bottomless black eyes. they were a devastatingly effective assassin, a zealous temple leader, and all-around a little freaky and unnerving, but they were also known for their dark humor, a blunt but soft-spoken thoughtfulness and, at times, a kindness and mercy that was most unbecoming of a Bhaal's chosen.

JUNO AFTER THE TADPOLE

on the bottom, we have Juno as they appear during the events of Baldur's Gate 3. just off the nautiloid, we see them looking disheveled and tired, like a sopping wet cat—sporting a choppy haircut courtesy of their once beloved sister Orin and new scars courtesy of Kressa Bonedaughter. they had no idea who they are aside from a name and an urge, and had near constant headaches, night terrors, panic attacks, and withdrawal-like symptoms that would only go away after killing. Act 1 was a pretty rough time of unhealthy coping mechanisms, trying to deal with the amnesia and the urges through drinking and sex, but all the while trying to do right by the people around them.

all through Act 2, they’re picking up the pieces of themself, bonding more deeply with Astarion, Shadowheart, and Halsin, and learning more about the wretched past they had forgotten. nearly losing Astarion to their urges terrifies them, and they try to distance themself from him, but it ultimately only brings them closer. seeing Shadowheart reject her goddess of her own will was another pivotal moment in their journey.

in Act 3, they decide to chop off the rest of their hair after the bhaalspawn revelation in Rivington led them to distance themself from their past and heritage once and for all--this is a new beginning for them. Jaheira (and by extension, Minsc) become important figures in Juno's life, Jaheira as mentor and confidante and Minsc as moral support. at the end, Astarion has rejected the ritual, Juno has rejected their father's blood, and they're well on their way to a new beginning, together.

#bg3 fanart #bg3 #my ocs #oc: juno #the dark urge #durge bg3 #my art #durge spoilers

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lesbianandstressing · 1 year ago

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Stupido | A Station 19 fanfiction

A/N: A quick follow up to this fic. Requested by the travic ceo @travichughes! Be sure to check her blog out.

Warnings: All the Italian is from google translate so don’t come for me! Happy reading!

To say Carina is angry is an understatement.

When she first met her wife’s team, she could immediately tell that Travis Montgomery and Victoria Hughes were inseparable.

So, she never expected him to leave her out to dry.

Vic instantly became one of her favorite people. The youngest firefighter is a ball of sunshine, and her personality and humor sometimes reminds Carina of her stupid baby brother, who left her too soon. Seeing Vic so broken, so hurt…nearly shattered the Italian into two.

And, typically, her sadness grows into anger. This circumstance is no exception.

Maya contacted Chief Ross, letting her know that Vic and her would be taking the day off. The chief held a lot of sympathy for Vic, knowing how strongly the firefighter held her emotions. She also complimented Maya on how good of a friend she is, which surprised Maya.

However, Carina decided to go in, as it is a clinic day and she has patients. She held in her anger for Travis until he approached her.

“Hey Carina. Do you know where Vic is? I haven’t seen her since yesterday morning. I tried calling her but she hasn’t answered.”

Carina feels a bubble of anger, and doesn’t respond, but drags Travis into his bunk and shuts the door.

“Do you have any idea how much of a thick headed stronzo you are?! Mio dio, ti preoccupi solo adesso?!”

Travis is incredibly confused. First, he only understands half of what Carina just said to him, second, the last time he saw her this angry was last year when Jack ordered pineapple on pizza.

“What are you…” He begins, but is cut off by the raging doctor. “No, no, no, you do not speak. Only listen. You have been so caught up in this stupid mayor race and your new idiota boyfriend that you have completely left vic behind! How could you?” Carina rants.

“Carina I-.” Once again, Travis is cut off. “It is not my place to tell you what happened, but Victoria was on a tough call yesterday, she was so distraught that Maya and I found her sobbing in her bunk. Victoria Hughes, the most bright, beautiful ball of sunshine looked completely broken. Maya and I took her to our home, and she is still there with Maya.”

Travis sighs. “I know I’ve been shitty, and I’m sorry. I really am. But Carina, she’s everything to me. I can’t lose her.”

“You won’t, Travis. But, you’ve been a bad friend. You need to make it up to her, and promise you won’t leave her behind. I don’t doubt that she’ll forgive you for this, but still. Be her person, like you always have been.” Carina explains. Travis nods, thanking Carina before they both go back to work.

He has some serious apologies to make.

Vic snuggles closer to Maya, enjoying her warmth. Maya has always been so comfortable to cuddle with, and gives the best hugs. Despite how upset she was yesterday, Maya has been making her feel so much better.

“God, these reality tv shows are so lame.” Maya complains. “Yeah, but they make me feel better about my own life.” Vic laughs. Seeing how much of a mess these people are makes her feel like she’s doing pretty okay.

On the screen, a woman slaps her now ex-boyfriend, and Maya whoops. “DESERVED!” She yells. Vic giggles, shaking her head.

“Hey…you know I got you? Always, ok? I’ll always be here.” Maya reassures Vic. Vic nods. “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

Later on in the day, Vic hears a knock at the door to Maya and Carina’s apartment. “I’ll get it.” She murmurs to the two, and opens the door to see a guilty looking Travis.

“Hey…I know I’ve been really shitty lately, but can we talk?” He requests. Vic hesitantly nods. Maya and Carina quietly move to their room, giving the duo some space.

Travis takes Vic’s hand as they sit down. “I’m so sorry, Vic. I’ve been such an oblivious idiot that I forgot what’s most important to me. And that’s you.”

Vic feels tears pool in her eyes. “And I’m sorry that Theo has been being such a douche to you lately. It’s not fair, the way he is treating you.” Travis continues.

“Carina mentioned you had a rough call yesterday, and I just wanted to say I’m here. If you need to talk, cry, anything. I’m here.” He promises.

“Thank you, Trav. But you still have a lot of making up to do.” She tells him. Travis hugs her. “I know. Don’t you ever forget that you are my number one, ok? You’ll always be my number one.”

The duo continue to hug for a moment, before Vic pulls back. “I don’t know what to do about Theo. He’s been so busy being captain and has his head so far up his ass he might see god himself.”

Travis chuckles at the end of that sentence. “Look, Theo doesn’t deserve you. If he finds that his job is more important than you? Then let him, and leave him. He will eventually realize what he lost.”

“Thanks, Travis. I needed to hear that.” Vic murmurs. “And take it from someone who is man and attracted to them. They fucking suck sometimes.”

Vic laughs loudly at that. “Trust me, I know. If I could choose I would totally be attracted to women.”

They laugh for another moment before Travis sobers. “How can I start making it up to you?”

Vic grins, throwing her feet on Travis’ lap. “Foot rub!”

Travis rolls his eyes. “Fine. But only because I love you.”

“I love you too, dumbass.”

A/N: Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated! Please send any fic requests to my ask box :)

#station 19 #vic hughes #travis montgomery #maya bishop #carina deluca #travic #station 19 fanfiction #station 19 season 6

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sweetxsymphony · 1 year ago

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Backstory: A world without music.

This is going to be long so it's going under a read more! Like, seriously, this is fucking the most text I've written in a post on this site in my life. This shit's a damn super essay in one go and will be basically spoiling the anime Takt Op. Destiny but I wanna make sure people understand the concept and stuff, y'know? anyway, if you read all of this? well, shit, that's impressive and thank you! this took me nearly an hour and a half to write up. Anyway, consider this important reading.

Many years ago, black meteorites fell from space and crash landed on Earth carrying with them something deadly, something hell bent on destruction. These beings were named "Despair Dolls", or "D2s", due to the fact that wherever they appeared only death and despair followed in their wake.

There was one oddity about these beings and it was their absolute hatred towards music of any kind. No one knows for sure why they seem to have such a passionate hatred for it but it's such an intense hatred that any form of music can attract a D2 like a moth to a flame and they will stop at nothing to eradicate the source of the music and anything else close by.

This has led to a global wide ban of all forms of music. No one can play music in any form as it will just attract a wave of death.

For the longest time humanity seemed to be slowly losing more and more ground to these monsters until one day the Symphonica International Organization was established. An organization that has dedicated itself to protecting the human race and fighting back against the D2's with the goal of wiping them out for good and restoring peace to the world and allowing music to once again be played and enjoyed by all.

Many people were sceptical on just how this organization was supposed to achieve this as all conventional weaponry was completely ineffective against D2s but the Symphonica had an ace up their sleeves.

Musicarts

No one knows how these beings came into existence, how they attained their powers or how these powers were even created in the first place. For, you see, Musicarts are individuals who have harnessed the very essence of the worlds most classical music and turned it into a weapon which can kill a D2.

These individuals, seemingly exclusively women, are able to transform into a new form that allows them to harness the score they have bonded with and use it to fight back. They do not age, can heal extremely quickly, and are super-human in nature now. The drawback is that once one becomes a Musicart they lose all memories of their prior life before becoming one and are only at their strongest once they have formed a contract with a Symphonica Maestro.

The only thing people know about Musicarts is that they recieve their power and score from a Harmonia Crystal. Once this crystal has awakened it turns into an pendant in the shape of an F-hole (a sound hole on various musical instruments which comes in diffirent sizes and forms.) This then becomes the source of a Musicarts power and should it be destroyed the Musicart would die.

There are only two ways in which a Musicart can die and that is if either they sustain mortal or enough wounds to kill them or their pendants are destroyed. The wounds needed to bring one down need to be incredibly severe and fatal as they can heal from near fatal wounds in a matter of hours.

Maestro's bring the Musicarts incredible power to even greater heights, especially when they have made a contract with a Musicart to become their official Maestro. The Symphonica has been slowly fighting back against the D2s with these rare and mysterious Musicarts putting both races in a deep war.

The Schneider family fled their home in France and made their way to America which housed one of the Symphonica's most renowned head quarters due to it being ran by one of the most successful conductors and becoming a general bastion for the rest of the organization and who they turned to for help and advice.

Once in America the Schneider's met the Asahina family where Cosette and her older sister Anna became good friends with Takt Asahina an aspiring pianist who was forced to stop chasing his dream due to the nature of the current world.

For a while things were, relatively, peaceful but that was until a concert performed by Takt's Father in what most thought was a soundproof concert hall was interrupted when a D2 attacked hearing the music despite the soundproofing efforts which resulted in his Father's death. This put Takt into a deep depression and he became a shut in but thankfully Cosette and her older sister Anna helped keep an eye on him whilst their eldest sister, Charlotte, began to work for the New York Symphonica branch.

For a while, Cosette tried to rouse Takt from his depression with little to no success until she managed to convince him to play his music he had wrote with her at the upcoming Symphonica festival, a festival held once a year by the Symphonica to allow people to play music. It is heavily policed by various Musicarts and is usually a success but things don't always go to plan.

Once Cosette and Takt had finished their piano duet together a D2 managed to break through the Symphonica's line and attacked. In the resulting Chaos many lost their lives, including Cosette. As she lay dying in her friends arms the pendant around her neck began to react and glow.

As it turns out, this pendant was actually a Harmonia Crystal and contained the very essence of Destiny who harnessed the musical score of Beethoven's Symphony No 5 in C minor Op 67.

This resulted in Cosette becoming the Musicart "Destiny." and like most other Musicarts her memories as her time as Cosette were lost but due to the nature of her creation she was different than most other Musicarts. Despite her ladylike appearance, her facial expressions rarely change and her tone of voice is always calm and polite and almost robotic at times. At first glance, she looks pretty, but she has an unconventional personality, with a sharp tongue and a sweet tooth which are remnants of her former personality.

Upon her awakening the two agreed to form a contract together and would then set out for the New York Symphonica. However, due to the nature of her creation, how she was born from a person who was dying when normally they are born from healthy people, there is something wrong about her power compared to most Musicarts.

Takt and Destiny's relationship as a Conductor and Musicart is symbiotic -- Takt becomes a little more superhuman and Destiny, who is attuned to the D2s, defeats the monsters. The downside is is that Destiny has to use some of Takt's life force to fight, which corrodes his body.

Essentially, she is killing him slowly.

They hope that when they make it to the Headquarters something can be done to help stabilise Destiny and Takt's condition so he can use her without risk of death.

However, as they travel and fight D2s his condition begins to worsen more and more and things do not help matters when it turns out the Symphonica may be hiding secrets that might not paint them as the saviours they seemed to be. A certain Musicart, Hell, seemingly has the ability to attract D2s and things become heated quickly when some Musicarts turn rogue pushing Takt and Destiny further which only leads to Takt's impending doom.

Once the dust settled, in order to save Takt, Destiny sacrifices herself in order to save him and restore his strength resulting in her "death" and leaving behind her pendant which eventually went to her sister who became the new Destiny.

Here's where we get divergent.

First of all, thank you for reading through that absolute slog (ya boi had to summarise a whole show that existed to hype up a mobile gacha game lmao)

Anyway, after the finale of the show Cosette and her version of Destiny are gone, kind of? it's weird. But, all that happened at the end of the show as that Cosette just disappeared. So, with that in mind, and in order to make interactions with other muses from different shows more easily possible without needing to craft verses, I'm making it so that moment wasn't her dying.

No, it's just a sort of displacement, an isekai basically lmao, the music and score is not done with this particular version of Destiny but her world does not need, nor can it have, two of them so she is shipped off to wherever your muses are from probably lol! She does get to keep her powers but they are more refined and making her more of a normal Musicart in a way and toning her power down a little.

It's dumb but it's something that makes things easier for me to keep her going post anime and have her deal with all of that whilst adjusting to new stuff.

#ooc ; out of sweets #( nearly 1500 words later there you go lmao )

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 5 days ago

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(iii)

So...wait, are you also getting Akane's classmates presents?

Ah, well, I was actually thinking of getting them one big present they could all use. Still brainstorming that, tbh...

All of this is for the fam.

Your family?

My brothers and sisters. Including myself, there's 8 of us in total.

Oh, right...I do remember Akane had a ton of siblings.

Yeah. We've all come a long way since we reached adulthood. All of us have jobs now, and some of us are even off around the world. But we're still tight-knit as ever.

But still, this is pretty excessive isn't it!? What kinda gifts are they asking for.

Believe me, it's not nearly enough. It's the best I can do, but it can't make up for all those missing opportunities on its own.

Missed opportunities?

Growing up, we were very poor, as you guys already know. We didn't have the money to get the good things in life, so most of our presents to each other were stuff we made ourselves.

I still remember my brother Ayato made a sculpture of me out of mud that we left in a field. Pretty ugly, but...eh, what can ya' do. It was nice while it lasted, until the weather wore it away.

Sometimes, I struggle to imagine what it is you've been through. On top of losing your sister in the Tragedy, and her becoming a Remnant.

Akane may have done some bad things, but...it's because of her that we managed to grow up and become who we are today. So when she eventually snapped out of that crap, we were all pretty quick to forgive her.

Really?

To be honest, all of the Owari's are half-siblings, except for Akane and Subaru. We all have different parents, both Mom's AND Dad's. Where we grew up, people liked to sleep around, and our parents were no exception.

Tetsuo, the youngest, was actually born with an STD and a low birth weight. He grew up fine, but compared to the rest of my siblings, he's a lot meeker, and that largely has to do with that.

Jesus...

I'm...very sorry to hear that, Ms. Owari.

It's not like it was your fault. You don't gotta feel bad. 'Sides, that's only part of what made life rough back then.

...Care to share?

You sure you wanna know?

Assuming it's not too painful to reflect back on, then yes, I would. I'd like to know more about your family from your perspective.

Largely because your sister is quite casual when talking about this, and I find it hard to sympathise with the way she puts it.

Understandable. But yeah, as I said, as straightforward and casual as she is, Akane’s the oldest of all of us, and I guess you could say she’s always been the one keeping us together.

We grew up in a really poor area...a place so bad that seeing dead bodies in the morning wasn’t even unusual. People were dying all the time, and we just...stopped trying to make friends or learn anyone’s names.

You could make a best friend one day, and they'd turn up dead in your trash the next morning. It wasn’t worth the heartbreak.

Starving was normal for us back then, too. Food’s the most important thing to us because of it. Akane used to search for food wherever she could...trash bins, trees for bird eggs, nuts, or even small animals she could catch.

She had to fight for it sometimes; against other people, stray dogs, even grown men. But that changed once she got stronger. I mean, no one could mess with her after that.

She is indeed a strong character. Nobody is doubting that.

Deck The Halls for a Birthday Party: The Fourth Hour.

You have been bitching that idea for about 2 hours now! It's NOT! FUNNY!

'Tis no joke, Mr Kuwata!

Kentaro Miura is one of the greatest legends of our time, God rest his soul! Berserk is RIGHT up Ms. Ikusaba's alley! Its themes of survival, loyalty, and complex characters are practically her in a nutshell!

But Mukuro doesn't like nerd shit! She's never said or done anything that signifies that she'd be into manga and anime! Have you ever seen her with a volume of Jump or some shit?

No, but that doesn't mean-!

ENOUGH!

God, you two are hurting my ears! I'm putting a pin in this argument now, so we can focus on what's important!

*Byakuya, Leon, and Hifumi, are in charge of getting Mukuro's presents for everyone at the party. Those who don't already have gifts prepared have given the trio the money to go and buy them from the stores. However, Leon and Hifumi get trapped in a repetitive argument all the way there, much to Byakuya's chagrin.

With that being said, if you'll allow me to give my piece on the matter.

Hifumi. Provided you know what it is you want to get Mukuro, make sure you're willing to make the expense.

Will do, sire!

Are you for real? I mean, Berserk's cool an' all, but do you really think Mukuro is gonna like that stuff? That stoic and serious soldier-girl that she is? She doesn't feel like she'd be into ANY kinda fandom!

Any gift is better than no gift. If Mukuro doesn't like it, Hifumi can just keep the receipt, and then exchange it for something else she wants of a similar price range.

And at least he HAS an idea of what he wants to get her. That's more than I can say for you.

Give me a break, dude! It's not like I'm that close to Mukuro! How am I supposed to know what she'd like as a present!

Then stop acting like you do and keep giving him crap, when you don't even know where to begin.

Fuck me, dude...It's bad enough that I don't have the cash on hand to get her anything good. You pressuring me to make a choice ain't helping.

Speaking of which, if I promise to pay you back, will you spot me if I get something a little over the price?

Is today the day you're trying you're damndest to get on my nerves?

I asked nicely! I'm not trying to scam you man! Come on, you're a billionaire or whatever! You can say bye to a few-

Wha-!? No I'm not!

Huh?

I'm NOT a billionaire! In fact, I never was! I'm not sure where that idea got into your head.

But you-!

The Togami Family were financial titans, that much is true. However, by the time I was in Hope's Peak Academy, although I had an unmatched understanding of business and monetary value, I was still only the HEIR to the company. The money that the company earned was something I was going to INHERIT; it didn't actually belong to me.

And even if it did, the Togami family went under a long time ago thanks to Junko Enoshima anyway, so even if I was going to get that money eventually, it's all gone now. Overnight, no less.

It's true that I have more on hand than you right now, but that's just because I'm more careful with my money, and I don't blow it on useless junk that I don't use more than once.

Alright, alright, have mercy, Jesus! You're saying I'm winding you up, but you're just being super cruel right now!

???: Huh...I thought I heard some familiar voices...

Huh?

*The boys look up to see someone approaching them.

The whispers told me that you're all trying to be discreet about something. That, and your facial expressions. But boy, you guys are good at drawing attention to yourselves.

Eden Owari. A pleasure to see you. It's certainly been a while now.

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edenmemes · 3 years ago

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ghost of tsushima starters

❝ promise you’ll remain the good man i know. ❞ ❝ only fools have no fear of death. ❞ ❝ i am very much alive. but my patience is dying. ❞ ❝ i’ll make sure you are remembered. as a great warrior...a wise leader. ❞ ❝ the strength we need is all around us. ❞ ❝ the past cannot hurt you. ❞ ❝ this whole journey, and i never asked your name. ❞ ❝ fear drives you to be stronger. fight harder. ❞ ❝ sometimes...our only choice is to walk away from everything we know ❞ ❝ we do what we must. that is why you and i are both survivors. ❞ ❝ i can do good! i just...need practice. ❞ ❝ may your next life be more peaceful than this one. ❞ ❝ i knew it was too good to be true. ❞ ❝ i'll see what i can do. but if you’re lying to me... ❞ ❝ you’re too comfortable with that power. ❞ ❝ don’t ever try to kill me again. ❞ ❝ turn your back on a foe...and you will die with a sword stuck in it. ❞ ❝ youre not slipping away that easily. ❞ ❝ just stay closed. keep your sword sheathed. and let me do the talking. ❞ ❝ the things i saw still haunt my nightmares. ❞ ❝ i dont even know if you're real. ❞ ❝ victories don’t have to feel good. ❞ ❝ killing your own family...it’s harder than you could ever imagine. ❞ ❝ it’s safer for everyone if i just disappear. ❞ ❝ next time, leave some glory for the rest of us. ❞ ❝ peace doesn’t always come quietly. ❞ ❝ some people respond to kindness. others require a glimpse of steel. ❞ ❝ i am nothing if not honest. ❞ ❝ stop using people, and start thinking about how you can help them. ❞ ❝ you’ve had your vengeance. don’t stand in the way of mine. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to do it alone. ❞ ❝ not all words need to be spoken. ❞ ❝ there is time yet for revenge. i will savour their cries of pain when that time comes. ❞ ❝ i have learned to love the cool, damp dark. ❞ ❝ the last thing i saw was faces filled with hatred, rage... ❞ ❝ you didn’t think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you? ❞ ❝ we will celebrate when this is all over. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong with you? one moment we stand shoulder-to-shoulder, the next you’re ready to cross blades. ❞ ❝ a warrior learns from their mistakes, or they are buried by them. ❞ ❝ remember your training...and never leave my side. ❞ ❝ well...i guess this is goodbye. ❞ ❝ your visions will grow worse, driving you to madness and death. ❞ ❝ i can only pretend for so much longer. i’m not like these people and never will be. ❞ ❝ i loved you all my life, but i could never work up the courage to tell you. ❞ ❝ the proud do not last, and the mightiest of us perish like dust before the wind. ❞ ❝ you’re a vision of mercy. ❞ ❝ not bad, but only half-good. ❞ ❝ we make a good team, don’t we? ❞ ❝ an archer’s aim relies not on eyes...but on body, mind, and spirit. ❞ ❝ this is my fight. i don’t need your weapon. ❞ ❝ being right doesn’t always make things better. ❞ ❝ there is nothing easier than to prey upon the vanity of ambitious men. ❞ ❝ you weren’t looking so good. i let you rest. ❞ ❝ your intentions this time were...better than usual. ❞ ❝ what are you not telling me? ❞ ❝ trouble sticks to you like shit on rice. ❞ ❝ it’s strange being back after so many years...everywhere i look brings back memories. ❞ ❝ only a child expects perfection of their elders. ❞ ❝ when this is all over, what will you do? ❞ ❝ you are ruled by your emotion. ❞ ❝ is this how you want to be remembered? ❞ ❝ perhaps great men share all the aspects of their lessers, but more. great wisdom, but even greater cruelty. ❞ ❝ i cannot imagine the burden a leader like you must bear. ❞ ❝ our greatest enemies are the greatest teachers. ❞ ❝ death’s shadow embraces me. hand in hand we walk. ❞ ❝ breathe. you can’t fight if you hold your breath. ❞ ❝ i know you well enough by now, my friend. ❞ ❝ i can’t go back...to what i was. before this. ❞ ❝ i hope you one day forgive me for the choice i made. ❞ ❝ the wounds you dealt my spirit will never heal. ❞ ❝ why did you turn away from me? ❞ ❝ if you can keep moving forward, so can i. ❞ ❝ it’s a bad idea to sneak up on me. ❞ ❝ promise me something. don’t become like me. ❞ ❝ let me undo the damage i’ve done. ❞ ❝ ...and you want me to clean up your mess. ❞ ❝ the path ahead may take a lifetime, but i will walk it with you. always. ❞ ❝ whatever you believe i’ve become, i will always be your family. ❞ ❝ i wouldn’t be here without you. ❞ ❝ i’ll hunt you past the horizon if i must. ❞ ❝ can i count on you to do what needs to be done? ❞ ❝ that’s over now. you’re here. with me. ❞ ❝ i thought i’d lost you, i should’ve known you’d never give up. ❞ ❝ you can’t continue down this path. ❞ ❝ be careful. demons are everywhere and they fear nothing. ❞ ❝ corpses can’t answer questions. ❞ ❝ you deserve greater respect than this. ❞ ❝ it’s just like the stories my father told me. ❞ ❝ what you become tomorrow is your choice. ❞ ❝ just ask the last man who questioned my sincerity. you’ll find his head covered in flies out back. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t have lied. i still would have helped you. ❞ ❝ we came this far. we’re not turning back now. ❞ ❝ how do we survive if we don’t trust each other? ❞ ❝ without my help, the fear and pain will overwhelm you. ❞ ❝ whatever happens, we don’t retreat. ❞ ❝ the stories are true. i’ve never seen anyone fight like you. ❞ ❝ see how the enemy fear you? you are a true warrior. ❞ ❝ you want to share a drink...with me? ❞ ❝ maybe you should’ve just ran away. like you always do. ❞ ❝ good people have nothing to fear from me. ❞ ❝ your promises are just like you. worthless. ❞ ❝ as you wish, since you asked so sweetly. ❞ ❝ i know better than to argue. ❞ ❝ i hope i can find quiet places like this one, untouched by war. ❞ ❝ we grew up together, but you threw it all away. ❞ ❝ it was so chaotic. i felt you grip my wrist and then nothing. ❞ ❝ desperation can bring out the demon in the best of men. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to leave without you, but...i can’t stay. i hope you understand. ❞ ❝ a grown man, and you still can barely sit still. ❞ ❝ and i heard you had no sense of humor! ❞ ❝ knowing and doing are different. ❞ ❝ trouble follows me everywhere. ❞ ❝ indulging violence weakens the warrior...like too much food or drink. ❞ ❝ i can always tell when you want to ask me something. out with it. ❞ ❝ i am proud to fight beside you. ❞ ❝ i didn’t nurse you back to health to watch you throw your life away. ❞ ❝ all i want...all i need is to start a new life. ❞ ❝ look twice and shoot once. ❞ ❝ i think they’re afraid of you. you can be...intimidating.. ❞ ❝ you don’t even try to hear me. it’s like talking to a stone. ❞ ❝ so you try to kill me? have you lost your mind? ❞ ❝ you’ve sacrificed everything. for revenge. ❞ ❝ we can’t let anger consume us. or blind us to our friends. ❞ ❝ there is only one way this ends. ❞ ❝ i gave you everything. and you threw it away. ❞ ❝ do not question my integrity again. ❞ ❝ your father would be proud. ❞ ❝ the worst one can do is take advantage of their own people. ❞ ❝ you follow trouble. you should ask yourself why. ❞ ❝ some of my favourite memories happened at this place. ❞ ❝ i told you this was a bad idea! ❞ ❝ keep fighting. we need people like you. ❞ ❝ are you the one who finally kills me? ❞ ❝ a warrior’s most important weapon is themself. lose control, and you risk defeat. ❞ ❝ first, get some rest. this is killing you. ❞ ❝ see that? i told you. there’s always hope. ❞ ❝ i hope the skills i gained through hardship can be of use to the people here. ❞ ❝ you have skill...but you nearly died rushing into battle. ❞ ❝ in the midst of battle, true leaders must stay rooted, stand firm. ❞ ❝ every time i get in a mess like this, i’m as scared as the time before. ❞ ❝ don’t be the next to disappoint me. ❞ ❝ save what we can, but know that everything passes away. ❞ ❝ i hope you understand, this is just a job. ❞ ❝ that’s a sad way to look at the world. ❞ ❝ seeing you like that...i’m still shaken up. ❞ ❝ sit with me a moment. ❞ ❝ doubt and indecision have destroyed armies. ❞ ❝ it’s so painful to...see you weighed down by sadness. ❞ ❝ on the slim chance some good comes of this...lead the way. ❞ ❝ you fought well, but we’re finished. ❞ ❝ the warrior’s mind is quiet but alive, like rustling bamboo. ❞ ❝ i’ve trained with a blade since i could walk. ❞ ❝ the visions...they’re still happening. ❞ ❝ in our world, being intimidating isn’t a bad thing. ❞ ❝ you have a talent. it’s time you use it, for the sake of our land. ❞ ❝ i've tried to teach you all i know...but you act more like a poet than a warrior. ❞ ❝ your path leads to madness and death. ❞ ❝ that’s twice you saved my life. ❞ ❝ these people stay because they believe in you. ❞ ❝ i didn’t choose this life. it was my only option. ❞ ❝ you came at me like i was your mortal enemy. almost broke my arm! ❞ ❝ i could use your help...in the fight ahead. ❞ ❝ you can be a little rough, but you have a good heart. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to kill you, stop! ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? afraid i’ll get more famous than you? ❞ ❝ war brings out who we truly are. ❞ ❝ take care where you place your faith. ❞ ❝ you seem lost in thought. ❞ ❝ i was getting tired of waiting for you. ❞ ❝ without my wisdom, you will lose your soul to madness. ❞ ❝ peace is an unattainable dream...but a dream worth fighting for. ❞ ❝ i’ve killed a thousand men. every death was sweet. ❞ ❝ what is the point of prayer when we are doomed? ❞ ❝ you’re like your father in more ways than you know. ❞ ❝ if you want my respect, earn it. ❞ ❝ and how many wars have you fought? ❞ ❝ you’re quite the butcher with that sword. ❞ ❝ people who sow chaos must be punished. ❞ ❝ i can’t help but wonder if you enjoy the violence. ❞ ❝ i kill only to protect our people. i think about that every time i reach for my sword. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry if my lack of skill offends. ❞ ❝ it’s the first time in days i haven’t felt like i was about to die. ❞ ❝ you fought like an animal...or a demon! ❞ ❝ there’s nothing more painful to me than a perfect bow...ineptly used. ❞ ❝ victory is won by warriors, not weapons. ❞ ❝ i couldn’t leave you to die. ❞ ❝ i made my choices. even knowing what they’ve cost me, i’d make them again. ❞ ❝ when’s the last time you slept or ate? ❞ ❝ you don’t get to give up. this land needs you. ❞ ❝ oh you pretend we are different, but we fight for the same thing. ❞ ❝ there are still places of beauty to remind us of what truly matters. ❞ ❝ true mastery begins where individual ego ends. ❞ ❝ a warrior faces danger with courage and resolve. this is how they endure. ❞ ❝ those stories...they're not entirely true. ❞ ❝ even the youngest warrior needs a full belly and a rested sword-arm. ❞ ❝ bad men are good at hiding their true natures. ❞ ❝ there is nothing left for me here. my hope is lost. ❞ ❝ i did what i had to. for you. ❞ ❝ forgive my manners. i spent all my time alone. ❞ ❝ is that any way to greet a visitor? ❞ ❝ if you continue down this path...you’ll be no better than the enemy. ❞ ❝ i am grateful for the times we share...but, i always want more. ❞ ❝ you lived your life in a castle. it made you soft. ❞ ❝ i used to know what i fought for... ❞ ❝ face them as a warrior with honour. not a monster. ❞ ❝ i don’t take lives, but i am not a coward. ❞ ❝ i wonder if i’ve crossed a line. ❞ ❝ you can’t expect everyone to understand what you’re doing, or why. ❞ ❝ your methods were brutal...impulsive...without honour. ❞ ❝ there’s plenty to fear without worrying about folktales. ❞ ❝ i hope you’ll find peace again soon. ❞ ❝ you do what you need to survive. and yet you despise others for doing the same. ❞ ❝ is that your excuse? your reason to kill? ❞ ❝ we have to keep pushing. even if it costs us our lives. ❞ ❝ cowards without honour deserve no mercy. ❞ ❝ i’ll fight beside you until the end. ❞ ❝ whatever happens, your forgiveness won’t change who i am. ❞ ❝ why should we settle for scraps when we deserve to be legends? ❞ ❝ only cowards strike from the shadows. ❞ ❝ the proud do not endure. the greatest of us fall in the end. ❞ ❝ perhaps some good will come of this. ❞ ❝ you will see nothing but death to the end of your days. ❞ ❝ legacy is more than a name. ❞ ❝ im sorry. i know what it means to lose family. ❞ ❝ one day we'll escape the endless wheel of suffering. ❞ ❝ is that a 'thank you'? ❞ ❝ i know what it means to be hunted. ❞ ❝ you personify fury and regret. ❞ ❝ that's all right. i want to hear you dig your own grave. ❞ ❝ either way, we’ve got nothing to lose. ❞ ❝ i’ve done what i can. the rest is up to you. ❞ ❝ forgive me, but you look fatigued. have you endured much hardship? ❞ ❝ i hope you find true honour in your next life. ❞ ❝ you deserve nothing less than death. ❞ ❝ this is foolish. surrender, and you can live. ❞ ❝ i too have pride in family. and i know what it’s like to live in their shadow. ❞ ❝ you were gone so long, i knew you were in trouble. ❞ ❝ so many of us here owe you our lives. ❞ ❝ what's wrong? what did they do to you? ❞ ❝ you’re lucky to be alive. ❞ ❝ i know your language. your traditions. your beliefs. which village to tame and which to burn. ❞ ❝ i cannot lose you again. ❞ ❝ i don’t seek revenge. but i will fight for peace. ❞ ❝ we will meet again soon. until then...travel safely. ❞ ❝ this is war --- not a test. ❞ ❝ we can save our home together. it doesn’t have to be like this. ❞ ❝ fear is a weapon. don’t let them use it against you. ❞

#rp meme #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #long post for ts /

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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years ago

Note

Alright, I read your recent post and need to know - what is your interpretation of Maglor’s relationship with the twins?

askjdhslkjag my biggest self-inflicted problem in this fandom is that my take on maglor, elrond, and elros' relationship is so intensely detailed and specific i am forever tormented by none of the fic i read ever quite getting it right (from my perspective; i’ve read plenty of fic that presents a good interpretation on their own terms, it’s just never mine.) it’s simultaneously way darker than the fluffy kidnap dads stuff and nowhere near as black-and-white awful as the anti-fëanorian crowd likes to paint it, it’s messy and complicated and surrounded by darkness, and yet there’s also a sincere connection within it which mostly serves to make all those complications worse. angry teenage elrond is angry for a great many reasons, and the circumstances around him being raised by kinslayers account for at least half of them. there’s lots of complexity here, and i don’t see it in fic nearly as often as i’d like

(warning: the post... feathers? i already have an internet friend called faeiri this could be awkward - anyway, the post she’s talking about includes the line ‘everyone is wrong about kidnap dads except me.’ this post follows on from that in being as much a commentary about why various popular interpretations of both how the kidnapdoption went and the way people subsequently characterise the twins just don’t work for me as it is a setting out of my own ideas. i’m not really interested in getting into discourse here, i’m just trying to get my thoughts down. i’ve read fic with these interpretations before that i’ve liked, even, don’t take this as a Condemnation, aight? also this turned out long as hell, so i’m putting it under a cut)

i can never buy entirely fluffy depictions of kidnap dads

which isn’t to say i don’t read them! sometimes all i want is something sweet, for these kids to get to be happy for once. it’s not like i think their time with the fëanorians was completely devoid of laughter

it’s just. the pet names, the special days out, the home-cooked meals, it can get so treacly it stops feeling like the characters they are in the situation they’re in and turns into Generic Found Family #272

it soaks out all the complexity - which is the thing i am here for - and acts like oh, these kids were never in any danger, they were perfectly happy being abducted by the people who murdered everyone they knew, there’s nothing possibly questionable about this relationship at all

and... yeah. that’s not the characters i know. that’s not the context i know they belong to

i just can’t forget the circumstances that led them to meet

rivers of blood, the air filled with screams, a town ablaze, a woman choosing to die. every interaction the three of them have is going to proceed from that nightmare

(sidenote: i tend to hold it was maglor that raised the twins, with maedhros looming ominously in the background not really getting involved. it’s mostly personal preference, i’ve been in and out of the fandom since before this kidnap dads thing blew up and when i joined that was a perfectly standard reading)

(also the cave thing was a dumb idea, old man, if only because it implies beleriand had streams safe enough for children to play in at that point. the way it separates the twins from the third kinslaying is also something i don’t particularly vibe with)

probably my least favourite angle i’ve seen on the situation (edged out only by ‘maglor was actively abusive towards the twins’ which no no no no no no no no NO) is the idea that maglor (and/or maedhros, append as necessary) took the twins specifically to raise them

like, i get where it’s coming from, but it makes maglor come off as really creepy

(i have read fics where it is indeed played off as really creepy, but that’s not a maglor i have any interest in reading about)

(’mags 100% bad’ is just as facile a take to me as ‘mags 100% good’)

even if you’re saying maglor took them in because they had no one left to take care of them - i highly doubt they were the only children the fëanorians orphaned at sirion. idk, it always makes maglor seem much less sympathetic than i think it’s meant to

i prefer to think of it as more... organic? something that evolved, not something that was preordained. them growing closer gradually, the twins finding an adult who might maybe be on their side, maglor becoming invested in them almost by accident

and then the twins are so comfortable with the second scariest monster in amon ereb they frequently sass him off and maglor’s gotten so used to not hurting them he’s not even thinking about it any more. no one’s quite sure how it happened, but they’ve made a Connection

‘wait aren’t they a murderous warlord of questionable mental stability and a pair of terrified small children who’ve lost everyone they ever knew? isn’t that kinda fucked up?’ yup! that’s the point! complexity!

another idea i don’t like is the idea that maglor was an objectively better parent to the twins than eärendil or elwing

other people have talked about this already, i won’t rehash the whole thing. i will say that while i don’t think elwing was a perfect parent - someone so young, in such a horrible situation, i wouldn’t blame her for screwing up - i do think she (and eärendil) did the best by them they possibly could

this is one of the few things they have in common with maglor

something i come across now and again is the idea that sure, elwing and eärendil weren’t abusive or horrible or anything, but they were a couple of basically-teenagers with so many other responsibilities, there was only so much they could do. maglor, on the other hand, is an experienced adult who could take much better care of the twins

and...

first off, it’s not like mags doesn’t have a job. he’s a warlord, he has a fortress to help run, military shit to handle, lots of other stuff that needs to get done to stop everyone from starving or getting eaten by orcs. i feel like sirion had enough of a government there was plenty of opportunity for elwing to take days off and play with her kids, but in the fëanorian camp nobody really has the time to chase after a couple of toddlers, least of all one of the last points on the command network. they just don’t have the people any more

(seriously, the twins getting a formal education with tutors and classes and shit is a weirdly specific pet peeve of mine. this is a band of renegades, not a royal household; if there’s anyone left with those kinds of skills they almost certainly have more important things to do)

more than that, though - well, a quick glance through my late stage fëanorians tag should tell you a lot about what i think maglor’s mental state is like at this point. he is so accustomed to violence death means nothing to him, he’s lost most of his capacity for genuinely positive emotion to an endless century of defeat and despair, he hates everything in the universe, especially himself, he’s only able to keep functioning through a truly astounding amount of denial, and he covers it all up with a layer of snark and feigned apathy, which he defends aggressively because he’s subconsciously realised that if it breaks he’ll have absolutely nothing left

(maedhros, for the record, is... i’d say more stable, but at a lower point. maglor may interact with the world mostly through cold stares and mocking laughter, but at least his mind is firmly rooted in the present)

(on the other hand, at least maedhros lets himself be aware of what they are and where their road will lead)

which... this doesn’t mean maglor doesn’t try to be kind to the twins, or rein in his worst impulses around them

there’s just so little of him left but the weapon

he stalks through the halls like a portent of death and gets into hours-long screaming matches with maedhros and has definitely killed people in front of the twins

not even as, like, a deliberate attempt to scare them, but because when you solve most of your problems by stabbing them it’s pretty much a given that people who spend a lot of time around you are going to see you do it at least once

and sometimes, he curls up in an empty hallway, and weeps

... suffice it to say i don’t think elwing’s the more preoccupied, or the less mentally ill, parent here

just. in general, the fëanorians aren’t cackling boogeymen, but they’re not particularly nice either

no one has the energy left for that. not these isolated and weary soldiers at the end of a long losing war and the beginning of the end of the world. they don’t really bother to guard the kids against them escaping. where else are they going to go?

the sheer despair that must have been in the fëanorian camp after sirion, the knowledge that the cause cannot be fulfilled, that they are utterly forsaken, that they’re really just waiting to die -

it can’t have been a happy place to grow up in, under the shadow of loss and grief and deeds unrepentable, and the slow march of inevitable defeat

they would have had a better childhood if they stayed in sirion, raised by people who knew how to hope

but that isn’t the childhood they had. and despite everything i’ve said, i don’t think that childhood was an entirely awful one

yeah, see, this is where the other side of my self-inflicted fandom catch-22 comes in. just as much of the pro-kidnap dads stuff comes off as overly saccharine and simplified to me, i find much of the anti-kidnap dads stuff equally simplistic in the opposite direction

the idea that maglor and the fëanorians never meant anything to elros and elrond, that they had no effect on the people they became at all, that it was just a horrible thing that happened when they were children, easily thrown in the rear-view mirror...

that’s even more impossible to me than the idea that life with the fëanorians was 100% fluffy and nice

like, i’ve seen the take that elros and elrond hated the fëanorians from start to finish. they were perfect little sindarin princes, loyal to their people and the memory of doriath, spurning every scrap of kindness offered to them and knowing just what to say to twist the knife into the kinslayers’ wounds

... dude. they were six. hell, given their peredhelness, mentally they could easily have been younger

what six year old has a firm grasp of their ethnic identity? what six year old is fully aware of their place in history? what six year old would understand the politics that led to their situation?

don’t get me wrong, i can see hatred in there. but something else that doesn’t get acknowledged alongside it often enough is the fear

some of the stuff i’ve read feels like it gives the kids too much power in the situation. they’re perfectly happy to talk back to and belittle the people who burned down their hometown and killed everyone they ever knew, like miniature adults who don’t feel threatened at all

and, like, six. i can see them going for insults as a defensive measure, but it is defensive. it’s covering up fear, not coming from secure disdain

(and a lot of those insults sound, again, like things an adult who’s already familiar with the fëanorians would say, not a scared child who’s lost almost everything. why would a six year old raised by sindar and gondolindrim know what the noldolantë is, let alone what it means to maglor?)

(... i’m just ranting about this one fic that’s been ruffling my feathers for five years straight now, aren’t i)

i mean, i write elrond as the world’s angriest teenager, who snipes at maglor pretty much constantly, but the thing about angry teenage elrond is that he’s angry teenage elrond

he’s spent long enough with the fëanorians he has a pretty secure position within the camp, and he knows that maglor won’t hurt him from a decade and change of maglor not, in fact, hurting him

but as a small and terrified child abducted by the monsters his mother had nightmares about? he fluctuated wildly between ‘randomly guessing at things to say that wouldn’t get him killed’ ‘screaming at maglor to go away in words rarely more complicated than that’ 'desperately trying not to do or say anything in the hopes of not being noticed’ and ‘hiding’

(and i don’t think the twins were never in any danger from the fëanorians, either. quite besides the point that before they started orbiting maglor nobody was really sure what to do with them... well, they wouldn’t be the first children of thingol’s line the minions took revenge on)

(fortunately for them, maglor did, in fact, take them under his wing. by this point even their own followers are shit scared of the last two sons of fëanor, nobody’s going to mess with their stuff and risk getting mauled. tactically, it was a pretty good decision for a couple of toddlers)

more to the point, i feel like a child that young, in a situation that horrible, wouldn’t reject any kindness they were offered, any soothing touch in a universe of terror

in a world full of big scary monsters, the best way to survive is to get the biggest scariest monster possible to protect you. that’s how elros rationalises it when they’re, like, eight, mentally, but at the time they were just latching on to the only person around them who seemed to care about them

that’s how it started, on their end. two very young very scared children lost in a neverending nightmare clinging tightly to the lone outstretched pair of hands

as for maglor...

i’ve called mags evil before, but i see that as more of a... technical term? he is evil because he did the murder, he remains evil because he won’t stop doing the murder. hot take: murder bad

but that doesn’t make him, like, a moustache-twirling saturday morning cartoon villain. he is deeply unhappy with the position he’s in and the person he’s become, and he’s always trying not to take that final step over the edge

it’s not that i can’t see a maglor who is abusive or manipulative or who sees the twins more as objects than people. it’s just that that characterisation is one i am profoundly uninterested in. i do occasionally read fic with it, but it never enters my own headcanons

horrible people can do good things!! kinslayers can do good things!! the fallen are capable of humanity!! people can do both good and evil things at the same time, because people are complicated!! maglor is not psychologically incapable of actually taking pity on these kids!!!!

it’s... again, complexity. the fëanorians straddle the line between black and white, which is a lot less sharp in the legendarium than it’s sometimes characterised as. it’s what draws me to their characters so much, why i have so many stupid headcanons about them. pretending they fall firmly on either side of the line is my real fandom pet peeve

and, like, this moment? this sincere connection between a bloodstained warlord and two children who will grow up to be great and kind in equal measure? i may not entirely like the direction the fandom’s taken it recently, but that beat, that relationship, it still gets me

so no, i don’t think elrond and elros’ years with the fëanorians were an endless cavalcade of abuse and misery. i think there was love there, despite the darkness all around them

an old, tired monster, and the two tiny children it protects

maglor never hurts the twins, not ever, not once. his claws are sharp and his fangs are keen, if he so much as swatted them he’d rip them in half. instead he folds down the razor edges of his being, interacting with them ever so carefully. he has nightmares of suddenly tearing into their skin

seriously, the power differential between them is so great, maglor so much as raising his voice would break any trust they have in this horribly dangerous creature. fics where he does corporal punishment always get the side-eye from me

the mood of their relationship is... i find it hard to put into words. melancholy, maybe, like a sunny afternoon a few days before the end of the world. three people who’ve lost so much finding what respite they can in each other as the world slowly crumbles around them

there are times when it feels like the three of them exist in a world of their own, marked out by the edges of the firelight. maglor telling stories of the stars, elros giving relaxed irreverent commentary, elrond getting a few moments to just be, all their troubles kept at bay

they are the last two lights in a world sunk into darkness, the last two living beings he does not on some level hate. he will tear his own heart out before he sees them in pain

he teaches them to ride, he teaches them to read, he gives them everything he still has left. the twins should never have been in this situation, maglor probably isn’t entirely fit to take care of them, but it is what it is, and they take what love they can

(maglor depends on the twins emotionally a bit more than any adult should rely on any child. he’s still very much the caretaker in their relationship, but that relationship is the only one he has left that’s not stained by a century of rage and grief. he’s obsessed with them, maedhros tells him frequently. maglor’s standard response to this is to try to gouge maedhros’ eyes out)

(that particular darker side to their relationship, where maglor’s attachment to the twins turns into a desperate possessiveness - that’s not something i think i’ve ever seen in fic. which is a shame, it feels much closer to my own characterisation than the standard ways this relationship gets maleficised. darker, in a different way than usual. horribly compelling in its plausibility)

however you want to read it, i don’t think you can deny this is a relationship that defines elrond and elros’ childhood. they were raised in the woods by a pack of kinslayers, the text is quite clear on this

but i’ve seen a lot of talk about how elros and elrond are only sirion’s children. they are completely 100% sindarin, they love and forgive eärendil and elwing thoroughly and without question, they identify with doriath over - even gondolin, let alone tirion. the fëanorians - the people who raised them - had zero effect on the people they grew into and the selves they created

and that, more than anything else, i find utterly unbelievable

look, i get what this is a reaction to. a lot of the kidnap dads stuff paints the fëanorians as elrond and elros’ ‘real’ family, and i’ve already talked about what i think of the idea that maglor-and-possibly-also-maedhros were better parents than eärendil and elwing. i think it’s reductive and overly optimistic and just a little too neat

but to say instead that elrond and elros held no great love in their hearts for maglor, no lingering affinity with the fëanorians, no influence on their identity from the people they grew up around, none at all? that after it happened they just left it behind and resumed being the same people they were in sirion?

that strikes me as just as much an oversimplification. it sands down all the potential rough edges of their identity, all that inconvenient complexity that stops them from fitting into any well-defined box, and replaces it with a nice safe simple self-conception i find just as flat and boring as declaring them 100% fëanorian

we can quibble over who they call ‘father’ (i personally find that whole debate kinda petty) but denying that it was actually maglor who was the closest thing they knew to a parent for most of their childhoods, and that that would, in fact, affect the way they thought of themselves and their family, elides so many interesting possibilities out of existence

(i’m not even going to get into the most braindead take i have ever heard on the subject, namely that because their time with the fëanorians was such a small fraction of elrond’s total lifespan it was like being kidnapped for two weeks as a toddler and had no greater significance than that. do you not understand what childhood is????)

like, i tend to think of elrond as a child as being very loudly not-a-fëanorian. elros is more willing to go with the flow - hey, if the creepy kinslayer wants kids, elros is happy to play into that in order to not be murdered - but elrond is very firm that he’s not happy to be here and he doesn’t belong with them

(this is after they get over their initial terror, of course, when they’ve realised they won’t be fed to the orcs for the tiniest slight. even so, elrond only really gets shirty about it around people he’s comfortable with, whose reactions he can reasonably guess at. naturally, the first person he does it to is maglor)

elros calls maglor their father exactly once, when they’re... maybe early preteens? this is because elrond hears him do it and immediately loses his shit. they have a dad, elrond says, in tears, and a mum, and any day now their real parents are going to come to pick them up and take them home

... right?

it gets harder to believe as the years roll on, as their memories of sirion fade, as they find their own places within the host, as maglor watches over them as they grow. elrond still mentally sets himself apart from the fëanorians, but it’s more of an effort every year. life in the fëanorian camp is the only one he’s ever really known. he can barely remember his mother’s voice

then the war of wrath starts, and the fëanorian host drifts closer to the army of valinor, and the twins come into contact with non-fëanorians for the first time in forever, and it becomes clear just how obviously fëanorian elrond is. he always insisted he wasn’t like the kinslayers at all, but he dresses like them, talks like them, fights like them

the myth cycles the edain tell are almost completely unfamiliar to him, he barely remembers the shape of the songs of lost doriath. even these sarcastic commentary and subversive reinterpretations he made of maglor’s stories - those were still maglor’s stories! he’s been trying to guess at the person he was meant to be, but it’s growing nightmarishly blatant how little elrond ever knew about him

instead, the people he was born to are as alien to him as the orcs of morgoth. he is a fëanorian, through and through

... yeah, elrond (and/or elros) having an absolutely massive identity crisis upon being reintroduced to his quote-unquote ‘true kin’ is another angle i’d love to see in fic that i don’t think i’ve ever come across. all those potential grey areas around who they are and who they’re supposed to be sound utterly fascinating, and i think it’s the complexity i hate to see elided over the most

i really, really doubt they could effortlessly slot back into being eärendil and elwing’s children. not when they’ve been surrounded by, lived alongside, been raised by the people who were supposed to enemies for most of their lives

they just don’t fit into that box any more. they can’t

speaking of eärendil and elwing, while i do agree that they both (especially elwing) get a lot more flak than they deserve, i don’t agree that therefore elrond and elros were never the slightest bit mad at them and fully forgave them for everything with no reservations

because, well, they were left behind. elwing had no other choice, but they were still left behind; it led to the world being saved, but they were still left behind. all the best intentions in the universe don’t erase the weeks and months and years of waiting, of a hope that grew thinner and frailer until it finally quietly broke

that’s a real hurt, and a real grievance. even if the twins rationally understand that their parents were making the best out of their terrible situation, you can’t logic away emotions like that. it’s perfectly possible for them to know they have no reason to resent eärendil or elwing, and yet still harbour that bitterness and pain

(i did write a thing once where elrond loudly rejects eärendil as his father in favour of maglor, but something i didn’t add in that i probably should have is that elrond later regretted doing that)

(not like, several centuries later, when he’d grown old and wise. two hours later, when he’d calmed down. but he was still legitimately angry at eärendil, because the one thing angry teenage elrond was not lacking in was reasons to be mad at the adults around him, and before he could figure out if he had anything less furious to say the hosts of the valar left middle-earth behind)

(it’s another element to the tragedy of the whole thing. in that particular story, which is mostly aiming for maximum pain, the only thing elrond’s birth parents know about their son for thousands of years is that he hates them)

(and he doesn’t, not really. you can’t hate someone you’ve never known)

not that i think they couldn’t ever make up with their parents! fics where elrond and his birth parents work past all the things that lie between them and form a functional familial bond despite it all give me life. i just don’t like the idea that there’s nothing difficult for them to work past

i don’t like the idea that elrond and elros would naturally, effortlessly identify with the mother they last saw when they were six and the people they only vaguely remember. i can see them doing it as a political move, i can see them going for it as a deliberate personal choice, but i can’t seeing it being immediate and automatic and easy

no matter how great a pair of heroes eärendil and elwing are, that doesn’t change the fact that to elrond and elros, they’re at most a few scattered memories and a collection of far-off stories. and so long as the twins stay in middle-earth, they’re never going to draw any closer

compared to the dynamic, multifaceted, personal, and deep bonds they have with the fëanorians - who, and i know i keep saying this but i think it gets tossed aside way more casually than it should, are the people who actually raised them, their birth parents must feel like a distant idea

and that’s why i can never buy interpretations of elrond as 100% sindarin, a pure son of doriath, with no messy grey areas or awkward jagged edges to his identity. given everything we know about his life, it seems almost cartoonishly simplistic

honestly it seems like a narrative a bunch of old doriathrin nobles trying to manouevre elrond into being high king of the sindar or something would propagate. it's neat and nice and tidy, something that’d be much more convenient for everyone if elrond did feel that way

but i just don’t see how he can. this narrative is easy and simple in a way real people never are, it ignores all the forces pulling him apart. elrond being uncomplicatedly sindarin with the life he lives and the people he's close to - that doesn’t make any sense to me

which isn’t to say i think he’s 100% noldorin, from either a gondolindrim or a fëanorian perspective. (i find it a little more believable, given, again, who he grew up around and who he hangs out with, but it’s still a bit too reductive for my tastes.) it’s also not to say i couldn’t believe an elrond who made an active choice to emphasise his sindarin heritage

it’s not how i think of him, but it works. i don’t have a problem with other people interpreting the complexities of the twins’ identities differently

i just have a problem with people acting like it doesn’t exist

in general i think there’s a lot untapped potential that gets left behind when you declare the twins, separately or together, as All One Thing

they’re descended from half the noble houses of beleriand, and they have deep personal ties to most of the rest. they belong to all of the free peoples even the dwarves, somehow, probably and i feel like that was kind of the old man’s point? so many peoples meet in them, to say they wholly belong to any one species is probably an oversimplification

they sit at a crossroads of potential identities, and rather than narrowing down their worldviews to one single path, they take the hard road and choose all of them. that’s what you need to do, if you want to change the world

and, to bring this back to my ostensible topic, in my estimation at least this mélange of possible selves does include them as fëanorians! it’s not overpowering, but it’s certainly there, and the adults they grow into long after they’ve left the host still bear influence from their childhood

nothing super obvious, nothing that wouldn’t stand out if you didn’t know what to look for, but there’s something almost incandescent in how fiercely elros reaches out for his dreams

there’s something almost defiant in elrond’s drive to be as kind as summer

as for who they publically claim as their family... honestly, it depends. while it’s usually more tactically prudent for elros to connect himself to his various human ancestors, on occasion he does find a use for his free in with the elf mafia, and elrond, code switcher par excellence, is famously the son of whoever is most politically convenient at the moment, which is rarely, but not never, maglor

(in the privacy of their own minds, well, eärendil and elwing may have been the parents elros was supposed to have, but maglor was the parent he actually had, and elros doesn’t particularly care to mope over what might have been. elrond, for his part, figures that after all the shit maglor has put him through, the least that bastard owes him is a father)

but honestly? i think before any of their mountain of identities, before thinking of themselves as sindarin or gondolindel or hadorian or haladin or fëanorian or anything, elrond and elros identify as themselves

they are peredhil, they are númenóreans, they are whoever they make themselves to be. that’s how elrond finally resolved his identity, figured out who he was and found something past the pain and the rage

he wasn’t doriathrin, or gondolindrin, or falathrin, or fëanorian, or whatever else. he was elrond, no more and no less

and that person, elrond, could be whatever he chose to be

... elros came to a similar conclusion, with much less sturm und drang that he’s willing to admit. being able to go ‘hey, i can’t possibly be biased towards any one of your cultures, because i’m descended from all of you and i was raised by murderelves’ makes it a lot easier to unite people around your personal banner, turns out

the stories other people tried to force on them shattered into pieces, and the peredhel twins were free to shape themselves into anything they could dream of

and as the new world struggles alive, these lost children of an Age of death begin to bloom into their full glorious selves -

i just. i love the poetry of that. despite every single shadow that hangs over their past, despite all the clashing notes pulling them apart, they harmonise it all into a greater, kinder theme, determined to make their world a better place in whatever way they can

they fail, of course, but so do all things. the inevitable march of entropy doesn’t diminish the long millennia they (and their descendants) held onto the light

and their growing up in the fëanorian host definitely had a huge effect on the noble lords they became. you can see it in elros’ loud ambition to create a land of happiness and hope, elrond’s quiet resolve to heal all the hurts inflicted by this marred reality

it wasn’t a perfect time by any means, but neither was it a nightmare. it was what it was, a desperate existence at the edge of a knife where, nevertheless, they were loved

even after years upon decades upon centuries have passed, it’s hard for the wise king and the honourable sage to separate out and identify all the conflicting emotions swirling around their childhood. they never knew eärendil or elwing, true, but they also never really knew maglor

not as equals, not as adults, not as people who could truly understand him. he disappeared into the fog of history, leaving only childhood memories of razor-sharp, gentle hands

it’s messy and it’s complicated and getting any real closure would be like shoving their way through a thornbush with bare hands even if elrond could find the shithead, and yet at the core of it all, there is light. not the brightest of lights, maybe, but an enduring one

that contrast, above all, that note of warmth amidst the shadows, is what fascinates me so much about their relationship. three screwed up people in a screwed up world, finding a little peace with each other

and the fact that somehow, it does have a good ending - the children grow up magnificent and compassionate and just, they become exemplars of all their peoples, lodestars of the new world born out of the ashes of the old - that makes it seem to me like this relationship must have contained some fragment of happiness

but, fuck, all the darkness that surrounds that love, all the tangled-up emotions its existence necessitates, all the prefabricated self-identities it can never slot into - nothing about it is simple, nothing about it is easy, and i find that utterly enthralling. especially how, despite everything, that flickering light never goes out

well, i don’t think it does, anyway. my take on this relationship is both complicated enough no one else ever quite gets it right and well-defined enough every single ‘error’ in other people’s interpretations sticks out like a kinslayer in rivendell

it is an entirely self-inflicted problem, i will admit. other people are allowed to interpret those complexities differently from me, and it’s entirely my own fault i lack the :waves hands around nebulously: to write my own hypothetical fic on the subject at a pace faster than glacial

still, though. i do wish there was more fic out there that engaged with these complexities. a lot of the common fandom interpretations of this relationship just sweep it all away

#ask #my terrible headcanons #elros #elrond #maglor #elwing #earendil #feanorians #niphredilien #yellow feathered faerie #putting your old url in the tags for archival purposes #post nyanyannya askbox clearout #ironically it turned out almost as long as the songfic that clogged up my askbox in the first place #and it is DONE #fuck this took forever to write #stayed up late just to get it out the door so i don't have to think about it any more #this is a long ramble and i'm pretty sure the end is just me repeating myself ad nausem sorry #i'll admit to a certain pro-feanorian bias in my interpretation #but i also don't want elros and elrond to just. live in a neverending horrorshow for decades #the silm's cruel enough we don't need that #narratively i feel like elrond being All Of The Elves is a good mirror for elros being All Of The Humans #but it didn't really fit the angle i was going for #bleck #let's see how many followers i lose for this

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loki-hargreeves · 4 years ago

Text

Loki x Reader - Welcome Home to Westview

Warnings: WANDAVISION SPOILERS, mentions of death, angst and fluff Word Count: 2,8K Summary: You join Wanda when she drives to Westview. Next thing you know, you’re reunited with Loki who you lost years ago because of Thanos. He’s there to welcome you home 1950s style and make up for lost time. Author’s Note: This was requested and I absolutely loved this idea. I hope you like it! <3

YOUR POV

When everyone came back, it had been a miracle. Everyone who had vanished during the blip. Everyone who had vanished when Thanos had singlehandedly taken away half of all life. Most people were happy to have their loved ones back. Most people got someone back.

But that wasn’t your case, nor was it for Wanda. She came back into a world without Vision, you had to keep living without Loki. You always knew that he had died differently. Thanos had killed him and you had witnessed it. You should’ve known just how real it was, that he was gone. Seeing it should’ve been proof enough in order for you to move on and let go. Yet somehow, when the portals opened you had dared to feel hope. Deep down, you had hoped he too would’ve walked out of the golden gates with everyone else, but you had been wrong.

He had never come back.

You and Wanda had grown close during your time as Avengers. Recently, the two of you had grown even closer because of your shared grief. The two of you understood one another deeply and it connected you.

That’s why you had joined Wanda today. She was headed to SWORD headquarters where they were keeping Vision’s body. Everything about it was unsettling and you too felt angry about it. Something about SWORD was fishy and you didn’t trust their motives at all, neither did Wanda. All she wanted was to have a funeral for the man she loved.

You had agreed to wait in the car as she walked inside, but you kept glancing at the entry just in case you would have to walk in to support your friend. Time passed and eventually Wanda returned to the car alone. Even before she sat down, you could tell things hadn’t gone too well. She slammed the door shut and put her hands on the steering wheel tightly.

“Are you okay?” You were concerned for her well-being.

Wanda didn’t reply immediately. Her eyes scanned the parking lot and then she looked at the papers she kept in the backseat. For a while, she seemed to be deep in thought and you decided not to push her. Eventually, Wanda faced you.

“There’s something I need to do,” She stated mysteriously.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Wanda sounded sure of herself, “I would like it if you came with me, if that’s okay.”

Usually, Wanda handled things on her own. She would push others away and never ask for help. But this seemed different. She was willing to accept your support, and you were more than happy to be there for her; no matter what.

“Okay, I’m right here for you, Wanda.”

Despite how frustrated and upset Wanda felt, she managed to smile. It was nice to have you by her side during such difficult times.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

The car ride was long, but it didn’t feel like it. Wanda and you weren’t talking and the car radio filled the silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, yet you could tell that something had gone terribly wrong. Once Wanda was ready to talk about it, you would be there for her. For now, your presence was more than enough.

Since you didn’t talk, you tried to focus on the songs on the radio to distract yourself from your own, deep thoughts. Sometimes, they would get the best of you and right now, you wanted to stay tuned in the moment, not in the past.

Eventually, you drove past a sign that said Welcome to Westview. It was a small town, but nice nonetheless. It looked old. Buildings were worn and the streets looked like they had been used for decades. The town had a lot of family-friendly places and small shops. You saw an old lady drinking coffee by herself and a man putting up flyers. No one seemed to pay too much attention to you as Wanda drove by everything slowly. You noticed that Wanda was eyeing the street names closely. Was she searching for something?

It didn’t take too long until Wanda took a turn to a street called Sherwood drive and slowed down the car, eventually coming to a stop. You noticed the foundation of a house that had once been there. The neighborhood around you was full of family homes and it had a very warm and cozy energy. As nice as your surroundings were, Wanda looked like she wanted to cry.

“Can you stay here? I need to do something on my own,” Wanda finally broke the silence. How long had you been in silence? You weren’t sure.

“Yeah. Just let me know if you need me, okay?” You wanted to reassure her of your support.

Wanda just nodded and reached to the backseat to grab a paper. With one last glance at you, she got out of the car and closed the door. You sat comfortably on your seat and turned the radio on a little louder as she walked away. The song that was playing was familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your tongue on the name of it. The lyrics were beautiful and you found yourself relaxing to the melody.

“... If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do, is to save everyday 'til eternity passes away just to spend it with you ...”

Naturally, you were worried about her. Wanda hadn’t spoken about what happened when she tried to recover Vision’s body. Clearly, things hadn’t gone too well. Had she even been allowed to see him?

As you sat there, you wondered how you would’ve felt if you had been in her shoes, if someone had Loki’s body and they wouldn’t let you have a funeral for him. Immediately, your gut twisted in disgust and pain. It seemed like a nightmare.

For all that you knew, Loki was somewhere in space, in the middle of nowhere, all alone. When the Guardians had heard the distress signal, they had only found you and Thor. Loki was nowhere to be seen. All the debris from the spaceship had made it nearly impossible to see and navigate through it all.

It had been years but it still hurt. Knowing he was left alone broke your heart, as if seeing him die hadn’t been soul crushing enough. You knew you would never get over losing Loki. He was and always would be the love of your life. Even if he wasn’t there, you always kept him in your heart. You were sure your very souls were connected. The love you had was just that deep.

Curiously, you looked out of the car window just to keep an eye on Wanda. She was standing in the middle of the ruins with the paper in her trembling hands. You couldn’t see what it said, but you knew it was important because once she looked at it, she broke down into tears. The sight of her there, all alone in so much pain was awful. For so long, she had been strong and kept on a tough face, but she had reached her breaking point. All the pain, the anger, the misery, it had gotten the best of her. You knew exactly how it felt and your first instinct was to get out of the car and go there to comfort her. How could you just sit there when she was sobbing on the cold hard ground all by herself?

When you got out of the car and looked at Wanda again, she was standing. Her powers were growing around her and a bright red light made you squint your eyes. What on earth was going on?

“Wanda?” You called out for her worriedly, unsure whether she could hear you from so far away. Her powers grew stronger at an alarming rate. You could feel just how strong the magic was and goosebumps rose on your skin. Something was terribly wrong and you knew things were getting out of hand. Despite how dangerous it was to approach something so chaotic and powerful, you tried to reach her. You never did.

Wanda’s powers were explosive. In the blink of an eye, her magic poured all around her and covered everything and everyone in sight. You remembered seeing that signature scarlet shade all around you and then everything went blank. It all happened so fast that you didn’t even have time to be scared, nor to use your powers to shield yourself from hers. The red swallowed you completely with no warning.

‘

What happened?

How did I get here?

You stood in front of Wanda and Vision’s house. Despite not remembering anything at all, you just knew that it was where she lived. Why were you just standing on her lawn? That was odd. You couldn’t remember getting there, but strangely enough, it didn’t bother you too much. You must’ve just taken a stroll and ended up at your best friend’s house. As strange as it was, you didn’t think twice about it.

With a smile on your face, you straightened the skirt of your silky dress and looked at your heels to see that they were dirt-free and shiny. After all, your outfit was brand new and you didn’t want to get the dirty right away, now did you?

“You look more beautiful than I remembered,” A familiar voice caught your attention. Your eyes widened as you stood there, now in shock. It had been too long since you had last heard that voice.

“Do you not recognize me? Has it been that long?” Loki walked closer to you from behind.

You turned around because you had to see him to make sure you had heard right. When you saw him standing there, you felt overjoyed.

Loki was alive!

“Oh my god,” You could hardly believe your eyes.

Loki opened his arms wide, inviting you to a hug. Once the initial shock passed, you ran into his strong and loving arms. Loki embraced you just like you remembered he had done before. His oh-so-familiar scent filled your lungs and you were drunk on him in an instant. Tears stung your eyes and you closed them, allowing yourself to sink into his touch and be fully enveloped by him once again.

“I missed you so much,” You admitted and felt a warm tear rolling down your cheek, ruining your makeup but you didn’t care at all. Loki had seen you, all of you. With him, you could be completely vulnerable.

Loki planted a kiss at the top of your head, then your forehead and the tip of your nose. His soft hands cupped your cheeks and you opened your eyes just to face him. His eyes were mesmerizing and dangerous. With just one glance, you were lost.

“I missed you too,” Loki let you know sincerely. You didn’t know where he had been, or why you had been separated. All you knew was that it had been years and now you were together again. That was all that mattered and you refused to think about the logic of it all. It felt like you could hope again. You could be happy.

A gentle breeze played with your skirt and with your hair. Loki looked like a god as he stood there in his black suit and tie, with his long dark locks swaying in the wind. Your heart was so full of love again and you felt happy, so happy that you kissed him.

Your lips collided sweetly and Loki kissed you back with such fiery passion that you felt as if your soul was on fire. The kiss was so romantic that you knew if a crowd would’ve been watching, they would’ve aww-ed. It would’ve brought people to tears.

Eventually, you had to break the kiss so you could breathe. Once you did, both of you smiled like never before. Loki couldn’t let go of you and you didn’t want to let go of him either.

“Let’s go home, shall we?” Loki proposed happily.

Home.

The word made your heart swell with affection.

“I’d love that,” You admitted, your mind already thinking about all the possibilities. You shared a home and you could spend the rest of your lives there together. You could have your own little family. Nothing could come between you ever again.

Loki offered you his arm for you to hold onto, which you gladly did. Together you turned away from Wanda and Vision’s home and began to walk to your own home. Somehow, you knew exactly where to go, like you had walked that path a million times before.

The walk was so relaxing. You and Loki held onto each other so comfortably and watched your neighbours, greeting them as you passed by. Everything seemed so peaceful; perfect. It was exactly where you wanted to be for all the rest of your days.

“So where were you all this time?” You asked Loki curiously. After all, he had been gone for a while now. As you tried to think about it, you felt distracted by his touch and just the sight of him. It was almost like something didn’t want you to poke your brain with a stick, so you tried not to get yourself puzzled.

Loki raised his eyebrows and hummed by himself, as if he had to really think about it in order to remember, “It’s a long story, my love. One I’ll tell you all about once we’re home. How does that sound?”

“It sounds like a great dinner topic,” You hinted at him. Dining together was always the highlight of your day.

It didn’t take long to walk from Wanda’s house to yours. After all, you lived on the same street. Your home was beautiful. It was spacious, so you and Loki wouldn’t outgrow it anytime soon.

Loki let go of you and he rushed to open the front door to you. “Ladies first,” He smirked to you and then looked inside.

“You’re such a gentleman,” You couldn’t help but to feel appreciated. Loki treated you like a queen, he always had. Then you walked inside.

Your eyes adjusted from the brightness outside to the dim lights inside. Loki closed the door and then you were both home. The place reflected the two of you so well, in every little detail. Someone had lit the fireplace when you were gone and you assumed it was Loki’s doing. Now that you were behind closed doors, you could use your powers without being seen.

“Did you-” Your sentence was cut short as you turned to face Loki again. He was standing behind you with a dozen roses and a box of chocolates. The sweet gesture took you by surprise and you forgot what you were going to ask.

“I know it isn’t much, but I want to make up for the time we lost. I hope this is the right path to your heart again, my love,” Loki explained as he handed the gifts to you, which you gladly accepted.

“Oh Loki, thank you,” You were moved by the gesture. “But I need you to know you’ve always been in my heart, and you always will be.”

Loki seemed relieved to hear those words, “as will you be in mine.”

Ding!

“What was that?” You were surprised by the sound that came from the kitchen.

Loki grabbed your empty hand and placed a soft kiss on your skin, “I do believe you mentioned something about dinner.”

Yet another surprise.

“When did you do that?” You were impressed by it all. He had really gone out of his way to make this day lovely - and you certainly weren’t complaining.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Loki replied with a grin and began to lead to you the dining room. You shouldn’t have expected any less from your husband.

“How very sneaky of you,” You rolled your eyes playfully. That’s when you noticed the lovely aroma in the air. Dinner smelled lovely and you hadn’t even seen it yet. Had he made your favourite?

Loki pulled a chair back for you to sit on. As you sat down, the plates, the food and all that appeared on the table out of nowhere just like magic. Yet another trick, one that was very useful too.

Your eyes followed Loki as he walked around the table and sat down opposite of you. Just then, the setting sun shone through the curtains. It brightened up the room beautifully and highlighted every beautiful aspect of Loki, especially his eyes. The sun was shining on you and dinner was ready.

“One more thing,” Loki remembered and quickly snapped his fingers, lighting the candles to set the mood, “now everything is perfect.”

He was right. Finally, the two of you were together under the roof of your home. What else could you have ever wished for?

“Perfect indeed.”

A/N: I hope you liked it! If you did, I would love to hear your feedback 🥺 I loved this concept so much that I want to write more, but for now I’ll keep this one short.

Forever Taglist: @iraniq @embrycallsgirl @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13 @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing @klanceiscannon14

Loki taglist: @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @castiels-majestic-wings @lucywrites02 @myraiswack

#Loki #Loki x Reader #Loki x You #Loki fanfiction #WandaVision #WandaVision Spoilers #Loki angst #Loki fluff #Loki/Y/N #Loki/You #Loki/Reader #Loki oneshot #marvel fanfiction

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leviiattacks · 4 years ago

Note

teacher!levi and teacher!reader headcanons please 🥺

author note :: i expected for this to be better but idk,,, um, you know maybe it’s just me who wishes i executed it better but i wrote this at 3am that’s my excuse. ANYWAY I HOPE U ENJOY ANON :-))) i know it’s not headcanons but here!! also my ask box is always open to feel free to drop by !!

word count :: 5.4k (after i had to severely cut the word count down because my tumblr wouldn’t let me post the longer version with more detail,,,,)

honestly you’ve never fit in well with the math teachers in particular but you’re still amicable with most

however, there’s one unbearable member of the group that happens to want to play jump rope with your patience constantly

and that person just so happens to be mr ackerman

every single staff meeting the both of you sit furthest away from each other whilst silently exchanging bitter glares

maybe it’s his stony disposition or his unrealistically harsh grading system that makes him seem so off putting to you.

or perhaps it’s your soft and gentle approach to teaching that drives him up a wall

but to make matters simple, the two of you have never got along. nearly everything he says you disagree with and nearly everything you say he has to rebuke.

every outlandish suggestion of his at meetings is met with firm disapproval from you and every time you bring up wanting to provide the children with more time for extracurricular activities he sneers in annoyance

today he’s proposing a plan to set exams as soon as possible

???

you wonder if he’s even thinking with his head attached to his neck because it’ll be impossible for the children to handle all of the content in the form of an exam paper so soon

the workload he’s been pushing onto his math class has become far too ridiculous for your liking and you want to put an end to the man’s reign of terror

it just so happens your classes are scheduled in the blocks next to each other meaning he always sees your students an hour before you do

it’s got to the point where your pupils trudge into english class completely EXHAUSTED

the other day a boy fainted because of lack of sleep and now mr ackerman has the audacity to put forward the exam dates???

“we need to instill these children with discipline. taking them by surprise will give them a much needed reality check.”

you groan at his speech and raise a hand

“may i interject?”

professor ackerman’s tongue pokes at the inside of his cheek the irritation is painted on his face but he nods although he seems reluctant

“these children do not need standardized exams to-”

“would you like for me to completely scrap exams from the curriculum?” without even allowing for you to present your argument he has to cut you off with a mocking grin

“levi, i think-”

“that's mr ackerman to you.”

his blunt correction has you rolling your eyes because YES!! you understand the two of you aren’t exactly the best of friends but he doesn’t even want to be on a first name basis with a colleague of two years??

his pettiness has your blood boiling in searing displeasure

“you have to stop going so hard on these children.”

he’s shuffling through some paperwork not even batting an eye in your direction.

“personally, we aren’t hard enough but of course the english teacher has trouble understanding that.”

the jab he makes at your job only causes the anger inside of you to bubble up again

why does teaching english have ANYTHING to do with this???

“you teach math yet you can’t calculate the reasoning behind your subpar love life. do not insult english.”

personal insults are your favourite to throw at him because he always gets so riled up

and actually for once you have the answer to a math question.

the reason why his love life is so uneventful has to be because of this :

his personality + his obnoxious humour + his looks = a good looking but undatable man

his jaw clenches and the grip he has on the stack of papers in his hands strengthens

ok,, that is kinda hot but that is not relevant at all

you’re able to make out miss ral one of the other math teachers make a move to speak and god you fight the urge to punch her every day because she’s always gushing about mr ackerman

seeing as you don’t want to punch her or anyone for that matter you turn to give her a “if you speak right now i swear to god i will lose my shit” look

she gets the memo incredibly quickly because her mouth closes shut immediately

mr ackerman takes a sip out of the cup of black tea next to him. “i would appreciate if you just sat back and let me do what’s best.”

“children fainting in my lesson is not what’s best.” your rebuttal catches him off guard and he seems more than a little surprised

“wait- fainted??”

you eyes flick over to mr zacharias, you had told him to pass the message on but the way he’s sheepishly looking at the floor avoiding your eyes clearly tells you all you have to know

“looks like someone forgot to pass the message onto you but the other day falco fainted in english.”

“is he- is he okay?? did he say why?”

eyebrows raising you’re quite surprised to see any sort of reaction from him let alone concern

“he stayed up all night completing your homework.”

lips pressing together into a fine line it almost looks as if he’s guilty

“i’ll talk to him about it later.” his voice is back to its usually plain tone and any trace of his previous worry has been masked.

an awkward silence follows. he coughs choosing to not continue the discussion about exams.

principal smith takes the hint and moves on to discuss planned school trips

HOORAH victory!!!

yet another day where you’ve saved your students

“who is fallacy and why are they pathetic?” a few snorts and giggles are heard around the class and you force yourself to laugh at falco's miserable attempt at a joke

you’ve noticed falco’s been cracking more jokes around his new seat mate gabi.

she’s small but feisty always willing to debate and she’s really a joy to teach although she can get a little bit aggressive with the others at times

honestly it’s quite obvious that falco has a fat crush on her. well, actually it’s been obvious from the moment she step foot into your class

and... you couldn’t just ignore the way falco looked at her could you?? and there was an empty space next to him too sooooo, what harm would there be in placing the two together?

it seems as if your attempt at getting the both of them to talk has worked. gabi and falco compete desperately for the top position in the class and are two of the best students you’ve had in a while

also after the day falco fainted in class gabi has been noticeably nicer. things like asking if he’s drank water or how much he’s slept

you have a small inkling that she may like him back

and the budding romance is adorable to you because you too once had childhood crushes

it feels rather nostalgic to see the two interact

but today you notice the two aren’t in

in fact, you notice half of the class isn’t?

“where are the others?” your question sends a jolt through one of your present students but he stays silent choosing to pretend to clean his glasses as a distraction

crossing your arms over your chest you walk over towards his desk

“udo, you can tell me what it is.”

“professor ackerman said not to tell.” udo looks petrified and you’re just kinda wondering what in the hell is going on

lucky for you his resolve is thin and he quickly cracks under pressure

“okay. you can’t say i told.”

nodding in agreement he looks around making sure no one else hears what exactly it is he’s about to disclose

“he’s kept some people back to talk to them about something top secret. i don’t know what but he asked for the students who like you.”

at that you feel a little bitter because if he asked for the student who liked you why on earth is half the class still here??

but oh well, you guess you can’t please them all

“oh no, no, no. you’ve got it wrong. we all wanted to stay but he didn’t let us.”

udo looks genuine so you let it slide

either way it doesn’t really matter as long as the majority prefer you over that sick and twisted math teacher you’re alright

“he does know he’s cut into my class time right?”

“falco told him that and he whispered something about how you’re bothersome.”

you???? bothersome???

WHEN HE’S THE ONE BOTHERING EVERYONE?/!:£:!/)

you don’t even look back as you walk out frankly furious at what’s happened

english is important

ACTUALLY!!!

ENGLISH > MATH

you will stand by that till the day you die

your knuckle meets with the wooden surface of your sworn enemy’s classroom door and almost automatically you’re able to hear the shuffle of chairs and padding of numerous footsteps approach

the door swings open and you step aside to allow your missing students to pass through

they look nervous but one look at your reassuring smile lets them ease up and relax

“well.” a voice behind you snaps “look who paid me a visit.”

“we’re talking about this later.”

you try your best to sound serious but you don’t know if you pull it off as well as he does because he just ends up giving you a disappointed sort of look

“y/n. stick to being the good cop it suits you better.”

“we are not on first name basis. you said it yourself.” is your narrowed comeback

finally turning to face him you’re surprised when your eyes travel to the triangle of space behind him and you’re able to get a peek of what looks to be a list of books on his whiteboard

pride and prejudice

wuthering heights

jane eyre

ville-

before you’re able to read the rest he moves in front of your line of vision

he’s got quite the selection but,, when did he of all the people on this planet start showing any interest in literature?

“the books on the board what’s that about?”

your inquiry flies over his head and he shuts the door behind him completely

his face doesn’t move and if it does it only shows the slightest hint of confusion

“what books are you talking about?” he replies and don’t know why your knees feel a little weak when he looks you straight in the eyes

snap.

out.

of.

it.

“i saw books on the board.”

“you saw wrong.” he barks back and he’s getting agitated now

maybe you did imagine it...

and you have to get back to teach your class so okay fair enough you’ll let it go because you do know you have a habit of daydreaming randomly

however that doesn’t stop you from giving him another skeptical look before you leave because there is NO WAY you imagined it, but it is you and it really could be a possibility

the click clack of your heels against the floor sound out as you remove yourself from the conversation

you assume he’s returned to his classroom

that’s why it catches you by surprise when you hear a hesitant voice behind you

“there were no books on the board.”

you don’t know why he has to tell you that again because it only makes himself look all the more suspicious

“but if they were a list of book recommendations then what would you recommend i read?”

the question is peculiar coming from him

are you in an alternate universe?

is this a dream?

are you talking to a clone?

a robot?

because this can NOT be the same man you’ve been working with for two years

maybe he’s having a change of heart?

but that sounds unlikely

maybe he’s planning to read the book and somehow with that big brain of his formulate a calculation to score it a measly two out of ten

yeah. that sounds more likely.

nevertheless, you still want to give him a recommendation, maybe he’ll find out he’s into books this way

“you should totally check out pride and prejudice :-)”

for once you’re smiling at him and he doesn’t know what to do because the change is sudden but he doesn’t say a word after that

instead he retreats into his classroom

god.

now you’re sure he’s just asked to form a stupid calculation or whatever the hell it is math teachers do.

“he likes you.” hange has a shit eating grin on their face and you can’t help but narrow your eyes and sigh in exasperation

no he does not like you but you don’t try to correct hange because you know they’re firm in their stupid belief

“would you ever date him?” hange fiddles with the last of their potato salad absentmindedly waiting on your reply

the question literally has you choking on your lunch

“i would rather fight for survival in the wilderness. thank you for asking.”

“oh come on... he’s got a thing for you. you read romance novels all the time you should be able to tell he does.”

“yeah and that thing he has for me is wanting to shove my head onto a pitchfork. you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.” shoving a piece of pasta into your mouth you sigh dreamily at the taste. it serves as a momentary distraction

you get one lunch break and you are not!!!! in the mood to talk about him whilst you’re on that break

he’s attractive

and you have to admit he looks handsome in his crisp white button up and pristine black suit AND his cologne is really...

okay, you are digressing from the point

none of what you just said means anything!!!

at surface level he seems like a catch but it’s what’s on the inside that matters and he said he finds english stupid

that’s more than enough of a reason to dislike the guy?

he thinks stuff like the pythagorean theorem and y = mx+c are entertaining

y = mx+c ??? over literature???

you read books to teach and you read books for your own enjoyment

it would be a complete travesty if you had a crush on a book hater

and levi ackerman most certainly can be classed as a book hater.

a pessimistic book hater if the specifics are needed

“OH! SORRY Y/N GOTTA BLAST MOB’S OVER THERE!!!!!”

you don’t even get the chance to say goodbye because hange makes an eager run towards moblit

hange and moblit are inseparable, both are the shared heads of the science department and since he’s been off on sick leave recently you understand why hange’s rushed off to greet him

you wish you had a teacher friend like that but the sad truth is you’re pretty much a lone wolf. the other english teachers are wrinkly old pickles and talk about antiques or quiz shows :-(

“this seat free?”

no way.

it’s not him

it can't be

what does he even want??

“um, well yeah it is free b-.”

“good.” he takes the seat without you even inviting him and now you’re stuck in an awkward situation you didn’t even expect to be in today

you're about to burst into tears because is it too much to ask for a peaceful lunch period???

mr ackerman clears his throat and places a book in the center of the table. “pride and prejudice although not my cup of tea was... mildly enjoyable.”

wait...

is this him...

admitting defeat!??

HELLLOOOOO

you are over the moon right now because you know he really had to have enjoyed it a lot and is simply choosing to withhold that information for his own reputation

“i’m happy to hear you took a liking to it.” you’re munching away at your pasta a little more upbeat now

“okay but the start of the book assuming all single men want a wife? no, all i want is a good night’s rest for once. also mrs bennet needs to calm down, elizabeth can marry who the hell she wa-”

“someone’s a little passionate aren’t they?” you giggle into your glass of water and you catch mr ackerman frowning

“i liked it okay.”

“i thought you said it was only mildly enjoyable just now?” grinning and looking at him through your lashes his cheeks become red

you guess he’s angry or something but that’s the usual with him

“yeah, whatever. i just wanted to play fair and apologise.”

“apologise?” oh wow, now your interest has really peaked because never in the past two years has he apologised to ANYONE

not even principal smith for the one time he flipped out and nearly cursed at a mouthy student at parent's evening

grimacing a little before he does it he finally speaks again.

“english is important. i’m sorry.”

your lips tug up into a bright smile

well???

this is a great interaction??

an apology coming out of levi ackerman of all people

“apology accepted! i’m glad to know you liked the book but now that we’re a tad bit friendlier with each other i wanted to ask for a favour.” your eyes gleam and he swears he can see specks of shining stars in them

“...okay, it depends.”

he’s warming up to you so he considers it

“please don’t cut into my lesson time levi.” his name slips out of your mouth but it’s so natural you don’t even care to correct yourself

“i’m sorry about that too y/n.” your name now ventures out of his mouth too as it tests the waters

wordlessly the two of you agree to first name basis

BUT more important matters are at hand such as how he’s issued you yet another apology?

this is satire surely

because why is he so willing all of a sudden...?

well, that's the power of pride and prejudice, wow you’re really thanking the heavens for blessing this world with jane austen’s existence

jane austen. a woman capable of remarkable things, she's even managed to make an unmoving book hater somehow become a lover

poking at your tuna pasta you and levi are now quiet.

“soooooo, any opinions on mr wickham?” you ask the question hoping to initiate a longer conversation than before

and luckily for you your attempt works

SUCCESS!!

levi pinches the bridge of his nose and the creases on his forehead show he clearly isn't particularly fond of wickham

“don’t get me started he’s so indescribably annoying?”

ok, ok, ok

you don’t even know how it happens but you and levi really hit it off

weeks have passed and you and him have even become lunch buddies

it was so shocking to moblit at first that he dropped his lunch on the floor when he saw you and levi enthusiastically exchanging words

then again, two mr wickham haters are bound to get along

you’re seriously wondering how the two of you ever survived as mortal enemies

yeah, you still disagree a lot but you’re getting there!!

sometimes he helps you out when your computer stops running and in exchange you’re willing to offer him book recommendations

he swears he doesn't want any recommendations from you but you know he enjoys it

yesterday he got microsoft excel out and showed you how useful it really was and you went :O because you never really understood the need for it at all

you’re a little bit of a granny when it comes to tech...

and just today at lunch you recommended he checks some plays out but his nose wrinkled at the mention of shakespeare so the both of you went through a long list of dramas and eventually you were able to interest him in j.b. priestely's an inspector calls

another victory for you!!

anyway, right now the two of you are sitting inside of the staff room seeing as it's that time of the month again.

time for the monthly staff meeting

it's the first one you've had since you and levi became friends and you're worried the both of you will be back at it butting heads

wait, are you friends?

well, you wouldn't mind if that were the case but to be honest you would like to be a little bit more than friends mayb-

no!!! no!!! no!!! stupid thought!!! you retract that statement immediately

no you do not want to be more than friends with levi ackerman, yes he's lovely to a degree but you are not going to elaborate on why it's a terrible idea to fancy him

okay wait, let's elaborate for the sake of elaborating

he's surprisingly charming and wittier than you thought he would be. the fun conversations are making your days now and to be honest it is nice to have someone to spend lunch with (hange usually skips out on lunch all together to tinker in the science labs and set up experiments)

wait... weren't you suppose to explain why you don't want to get with him?

you're an idiot and you don't notice how dumb you really are until everyone just kinda gawks at the both of you because it's so odd seeing you in the same room let alone within a three feet radius of each other.

fuck, you completely forgot you and levi sat at opposite ends of the room

principal smith enters and even he looks visibly shocked at the change in seats but he doesn't mention it and you're grateful he doesn't because you didn't purposefully sit here it just happened on accident

erwin turns in your direction and smiles

"would you like to start off with your proposition for extracurriculars?"

nodding your head you begin passionately.

"well, i'd like to say i don't think we offer the children enough. we have spare funding so why not open another club? cooking perhaps? i understand many of you may not understand the importance of teaching them how to cook but-"

"do you have an obsession for setting these children up for failure?" tensing up you notice it's levi who's spoke and he doesn't sound remotely happy

blinking once and then twice he realizes his tone isn't the best and he mutters an apology "sorry, go ahead i'll add in when you're done."

whispers travel through the room straight away

"did he just say sorry?"

"actually why are those two sitting together?"

"do you think they're you know...?"

miss ral who's sat a little further away is the next person to disagree with you

"i understand the intention but would it not be better to let them have extra math lessons?"

"oh, so you can get a pay rise?" the comeback you make is aggressive and dripping in displeasure

she sits up face burning up

"no- no- absolutely not i take pleasure in teaching all of my classes." flustered and trying to hide her nerves she takes a sip out of her water bottle

you want to pour all of the water out onto that ginger hair of hers

the reason why her interjection is getting on your nerves is due to the fact you overheard her and another one of the math teachers plan to bring this specific point up

and you are well aware that her reasoning behind it has nothing to do with the children

she couldn't care less about them

"do not make me repeat what you and mr bozado were chit chatting about earlier today."

the threat is enough to silence her and just when you think you've handled the situation levi has to give his input

"let's ignore petra's motivations and talk about how teaching these kids how to cook means nothing if they have no tradable skills to offer in the real world." levi's not looking at you. he's either too annoyed or too preoccupied with his thought process

at that moment you feel naive, you thought maybe he would try to understand your opinion seeing as he's been spending so much time with you as of recent but that looks to not be the case

murmurs of agreement fill the room at his statement and you feel pathetic

it's practically the entire room against you now

genuinely how is it these people can manage to be such spoiled sports about everything?

"recently, i asked all of my classes to write an essay about school stress. maybe you won't understand my views because you haven't read their pieces but they need a fucking break." the expletive flies out of your mouth without warning and you flush in embarrassment

that

was

not

professional.

"oh god, i'm sorry i got worked up i shouldn't hav-" fumbling over all of your words you feel even more mortified

the principal raises his hand signalling you stop and you clamp your mouth shut. you're in huge trouble that's for sure

but,,, in spite of the clear difference in opinion between you and the other teachers, soft and well spoken principal smith says the unthinkable

"i have the final say and i believe you are coming from a good place after reading your student's work. how would you feel about running the new cooking club?"

scanning his face for a second you can tell his question is legitimate and the wave of relief that washes over you has never felt better than ever

sighing contently you agree and as the topic of conversation shifts to something else entirely you sense your heart rate picking up

you feel like you're back to square one with levi.

it's yet another day where you’ve saved your students and you should be feeling overjoyed but if anything you feel a little deflated

you wish he would have come around and understood but you can't teach and old dog new tricks

again, the feeling of disappointment wears you down

two weeks have passed since then and your favourite time of year has come. it’s spring term meaning MACBETH

the english curriculum includes plays and it just so happens that today is your first lesson covering shakespeare

and you LOVE shakespeare

something about all the intricate foreshadowing always has you excited

but some children are missing

and it’s way too many to blame on sickness

so you wait for a few minutes but it's consistently radio silent

the last time this happened the culprit had been levi and he promised to never cut into your lesson time

but you could count on him to break his promise after the fiasco that was the monthly meeting

is he back to hating you and hating literature?

well, that's his loss if that's the case!! and no!! you will not upset yourself over the loss of the budding friendship

sighing you get to your feet making a beeline to the door but gabi and falco rush to stop you

awkward chuckles activated they wave their hands to get your attention “OH NO, they’ll only be five minutes!!” their sentence comes out as one big blur of words but you manage to understand them

now you’re doubtful because you know falco and gabi would usually ignore you and allow you to walk out

giving them a knowing glance the pair look between each other

their eyes are clearly communicating and asking if it’s alright to tell you

“i promise i won’t be mad.” you sigh

perhaps if you reassure them they’ll be more likely to spill the beans

“it’s not that you... i don't know. you might be upset.” gabi isn't one to care much for other's feelings so you're slightly anxious even though you shouldn't be

but you’re a tough nut to crack. so, absolutely not. you are not going to upset yourself over whatever it is

“i won’t be hurt. i’ve suffered through reading some of the most emotional classics to ever exist.” hitting your chest with your fist you wince a little because you hit yourself a little too hard

falco’s seems to be too shy to come out with it so gabi takes the lead as she normally does

“some students were talking badly about you so mr ackerman kept them behind to have a talk.”

oh.

yeah, actually you are a teeny weeny bit disheartened because you think you’re nice to all of your pupils but it’s nothing too bad, not everyone will like you

“if that’s all i’ll go get them. thank you for letting me know.” giving them two thumbs up you leave the class immediately

levi is probably scolding them to hell and back

not because he cares for you but because he hates disrespect in general

as you’re nearing the open door of his classroom you hear something you never thought would emerge from levi’s room

“final question. why does mr darcy say he doesn’t want to dance with elizabeth at first?” oh yeah, that’s levi’s voice for sure

an english question?

is he quizzing them on pride and prejudice?

you wait hoping your students don't fail you and are able to provide the correct answer.

“ummm... she’s not pretty enough!!”

levi hums “you answered all five questions right. do you all know why?”

you can’t see the children’s faces but they have to be confused if there’s no immediate response

he grunts in agitation “because your english teacher works hard to teach you every single day. have some respect because that teacher of yours is one in a million.”

taking your bottom lip in between your teeth you fight the urge to smile

“do you know how at every single staff meeting there’s only ever one teacher fighting for you all and what you want. i can assure you that teacher isn’t me, but i believe you can all guess who i'm talking about.”

your heart does a back flip in your chest and you feel jittery but in that really fuzzy good way

like that super duper fuzzy and hazy good way

he’s really very sweet for saying all of this and you're now smiling like an idiot

one pupil takes a chance to make amends “we’re sorry mr ackerman.”

but before levi can give them a response you clap your hands together and walk in unannounced

“apology accepted, now if you want to all be forgiven forever please return to class and answer the questions on the board!” directing them to the door with your hands you make sure they're conscious fo the fact you aren't mad at them

still, never have you seen them so eager to run off to analyze macbeth. you guess levi's deathly stare is the cause for it

holding back a laugh you clear your throat after the last student leaves

“thank you levi :-)”

it’s quiet for a second and you think to ask him about what has been gnawing at your mind

“you didn’t have to do that. you disagreed with me before so... why did you?”

“i say this at every meeting and you never listen but children need to be disciplined.” his unchangeable tone is unwelcoming

again it’s awkwardly silent and you sorta regret even coming over to see what was going on because now you and levi are just having an uncomfortable staring contest

then he scratches the back of his neck and heaves a heavy breath

“it may also be because i really fucking like you, but i look like an idiot saying that when we’ve been at each other's necks for two years.”

oh.

the sudden and brutally honest confession has the wind knocked out of you, you’re stunned

and then you get hit by it too. the realization hits you like rain hits umbrellas on stormy days. you like him too.

you like him for his witty sense of humour, his pure honesty and his hatred for mr wickham only serves as a bonus

yes, you have your differences. many of them. but you like him

he’s no longer a book hater and so by default you can fancy him. he goes against none of your guidelines essentially

you like him, he likes you back?’//’.;

[SCREAMS]

“well, what do you say? will you be this mr darcy's elizabeth bennet?” hearing the cheesy pickup line from him of all people has the butterflies in your stomach exploding in delight

“you sound weird, where's the grumpy math teacher from before?" now you and him are simply shamelessly flirting but HEY!! you have no complaints at all

he scoffs at your sarcastic question

"do you want the equation for a two dimensional heart on a graph beca-"

"can i just kiss you?"

wOWIE are you being bold today y/n???

thankfully you don't have to wait for his answer. levi’s right hand pulls your face in and he slams his lips against yours. he gives your waist a squeeze and you hold him tighter by the neck in response. he has a way of somehow making it all feel gentle and relaxed in the same breath

and... you know what? maybe you should have recommended pride and prejudice to him earlier

but oh well.

what matters the most right now is that you're kissing your mr darcy!!

and he’s kissing his elizabeth bennet

:-)

#levi #levi ackerman #aot #snk #attack on titan #attack on titan levi #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi headcanons #levi drabbles #levi scenario #teacher levi #levi fanfiction #aot fanfiction #leviiattacks #attack on titan x reader #levi fluff #modern levi #modern levi ackerman

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merakiui · 4 years ago

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Okay okay okay I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now here’s my list of genshin boys most likely to least likely to become a yandere and why:

-xiao. Millennia of suffering and he meets somebody who makes the pain dissipate? Hell never let go.

-diluc. People have died in his arms, he can’t risk losing another loved one... it’s not like he doesn’t have the wealth and resources to keep his beloved by his side.

-Childe. I think he’d be the most dehumanizing yandere - he treats you almost like a child (haha) as be manipulates his way into your heart. And god knows that he gets what he wants.

-albedo is obviously in the top half of this list. We’ve talked about his yandere tendacies before so I won’t relist them but jeez get this boy some therapy.

-razor. Now this sounds surprising but after years of protecting his Lupical, do you really think he’d let somebody he loves and sees as helpless wander alone? I feel hes less captor and manipulative and more of a stalker if he becomes a yandere

-venti. Freedom is his entire world, but can he let his beloved have freedom if it endangers them? One of the most manipulative ones on this list, except he has no clue that he’s doing it.

-kaeya. Maybe you’d gotten to close to one of his secrets. Maybe you’d figured out something he wanted to die. It doesn’t matter much now, all you know is that you were tried and declared guilty by the knights of favonius and were sent into a dungeon protected by the Calvery captain himself.

-zhongli. Has the yandere desires, but refuses to give in. He’s loved and lost so many times over the years and he figures he doesn’t want to take that away from his beloved.

-chongyun. I’ve gone back and forth between him and xingqiu for this one, but I feel like these last 3 are all pretty much tied for not being a yandere. However, if he met someone who could somehow null his congenital positivity than he might move up on this list...

-Xingqiu. He has a strong sense of justice and honor, the idea of manipulating, stalking or god forbid kidnapping his S/O is appalling to him.

-Bennett. Literally just tryna vibe. Devotes as much time as he can to make sure any relationship he has is healthy.

So basically:

Everybody on this list: *frothing at the mouth, thinking of ways to keep their S/Os with them*

Bennett, Chongyun, Xingqiu and to some extent Zhongli: what the fuck

Your list... Simply amazing. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m beginning to wonder where other characters would sit on the list. Mainly Scaramouche though aha oops Anyways, please never stop sharing your thoughts!! They are so GOOD!

Xiao’s backstory and past is just perfect material to fuel his yandere desires. He’s suffered for so long and has never really experienced positive emotions, let alone love itself. The poor adeptus is always brooding on his own and here comes his darling, bright and happy and just...perfect. They’re like a glimmering star in his murky darkness and he wants to treasure them. There’s no way he’s going to let go of the feeling he gets when he’s with them, nor is he going to let them leave his side.

It makes sense that Diluc would also be at the top of that list. He’s got the making of a yandere, especially considering all of the people he’s lost in his life. Now that he’s found someone so important to him, he can’t risk losing them. It would destroy him if he found out that his darling got hurt or was even killed because he wasn’t taking enough precautions to keep them safe. He’d definitely blame himself if something like that happened.

Childe, pspspspsp!!! The power this man holds... Omg he makes for such a terrifying yandere. On the outside, he seems warm and disarming—just your normal, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. He’s not dangerous at all! No way. But under all of that falsified charm is someone who knows how to pull strings. He’s a Fatui Harbinger, so of course he has the means of getting you wrapped around his finger. It’s not all that hard when he’s got money, power, and strength. Plus, when he wants something he’s not going to stop until he acquires it; Childe lives for the thrill of chasing after you and it’ll be even more fun once he catches you. Someone should send me more thoughts about yan!Childe!!! orz orz

Albedo also qualifies as a neat yandere! Something about yanderes who are into science is just...fascinating to me. It’s also cool because Albedo’s rumored to be a homunculus, so that adds to the intrigue! Albedo has the resources to get what he wants as well. It won’t be all that difficult, and if it proves to be challenging he can just think of other solutions to pacify his darling. He is a researcher, after all, and a good researcher seeks to find the best solution to a problem.

Razor would be a feral yandere. He’s more action than words. He doesn’t put much thought into what he does because it feels more like an instinct to him. He’s just protecting his Lupical. There’s nothing wrong with that! So why are you acting so difficult? D:

Like you said, Venti’s not aware of his manipulation and he just does it because it works. His belief that everyone deserves freedom is probably what really holds him back. He doesn’t want you to feel caged, but that feeling is practically inevitable since he’s always hounding you. Venti is a very suffocating yandere and he doesn’t even realize it.

KAEYA! KAEYA! I love the idea of Kaeya having some sort of blackmail on you—something so bad that you absolutely can’t let the world see. And so he uses that to keep you quiet. If you did stumble upon one of his secrets, he can’t possibly have you running that pretty mouth of yours. But if you do end up spilling his secret, it’s only fair that he shares yours, right? An eye for an eye, as some would say. Kaeya’s very smooth and calculative when it comes to handling blackmail. Whenever it feels like you’re trying to one-up him and possibly escape, he’ll flirtatiously remind you of the power he holds over you. Blackmail is rather compelling, is it not?

Zhongli does have the motive to be a yandere, as you pointed out, but he’s a strange case. On one hand, it makes sense that he’d want to protect his beloved at all costs, but on the other he’d probably be aware of these unhealthy tendencies. Although he probably uses the idea of a contract to keep your relationship going, even if it’s clear you don’t want anything to do with him. But if you do, that just makes it easier on him!

NO BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE SAME FOR CHONGYUN!!! Not the yan!Chongyun piece rotting in my drafts for a month or two now ehehee I had some thoughts about Chongyun but never bothered posting it for some reason. Anyways, I do think Chongyun has potential to be a yandere! As you mentioned, his congenital positivity can become an issue and he doesn’t want that to seriously affect his daily life. So he’s probably very pleased to find someone who can nullify that positivity. It’d be similar to Xiao’s case; Xiao likes someone who can be the light in his dark world. Chongyun falls for the person who can null his congenital positivity and is someone who he gets along with.

The only way I can see Xingqiu being a yandere is if he wants a noble, storybook romance. Okay, that sounds strange, but consider it! He’s a huge bookworm who probably doesn’t exactly experience romance aside from what he reads in his novels. Although he doesn’t dabble in the romance genre all that often, he does like the idea of being a hero and sweeping someone off of their feet. So when he meets you—another fellow bookworm or maybe the two of you are thrown into an arranged marriage—he just feels an undeniable connection. This must be some form of fate or a sixth sense. Maybe he can be the main character of his own story! You’ll just have to cooperate and you can be the valiant knight’s love interest!

Bennett’s vibes are so nice. How could he be a yandere? He’s just too sweet and pure. He’s really just here to chill and gather an adventuring team full of great friends! But if anyone has any thoughts...please share them!

That’s it. I’m writing about Scaramouche even though he’s not on the list. Please, why do I simp so much for him? Anyways, we don’t know nearly enough about Scaramouche to determine his backstory or past. But he just oozes yandere! Most of the Harbingers are probably the same, to some extent. He’s like Childe with all of the power and resources, but whereas Childe relishes in the chase Scaramouche refuses to put up with it. It’s just way too inconvenient for him. He’d rather catch you when you least expect it and then keep you for himself.

Gosh, he’s a very determined and possessive yandere with a strict agenda; this man probably cheats in order to get you. He’ll send his underlings to do the work in his place. They’ll stalk you and report back to him and it isn’t long before he learns of your friends, certain family members you’re close to, and even where you live. It’s terrifying, but this is Scaramouche we’re talking about. For someone so short, he sure knows how to intimidate and beat fear into those below him. Good luck to the poor soul who catches his eye.

I must thank you for making that list! It was lots of fun to consider their mindsets and behaviors as yandere. :D

#chit chat #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere xiao #yandere diluc #yandere childe #yandere albedo #yandere razor #yandere venti #yandere kaeya #yandere zhongli #yandere chongyun #yandere xingqiu #genshin impact bennett #yandere scaramouche #yandere x reader #this was so fun to write about #xenia-cenia #your brain is galaxy level

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jschllatt · 4 years ago

Text

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

Prompt: (Based off of the song I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys) Clay’s recent fame leads to a difficult decision to be made. Months later, he’s still regretful. You seem to be fine, so why can’t he move on, too?

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, slight angst

Pairing: Dream x GN!Reader

Words: 2.5k

Masterlist

I spent a week on this and idk how I feel about it but I hope you enjoy <3

Clay had been consumed by an overwhelming emptiness, his entire body hollow as the lack of your presence took its toll.

Two months. Two devastating months had passed since he’d made a grave mistake, and now he was facing the agonous repercussions. He was a mess—anyone could see it. Between his long, disheveled hair, the light scruff that covered his face, and his bloodshot eyes, it was clear that Clay’s mind had been somewhere else. And it had been. Every passing second was a constant reminder of his solitude, causing the emptiness in his heart to evolve into a deep, incessant void, no longer inhabited by the happiness you had ingrained in him just months before. Why? Clay was overcome with a sense of deep regret as a result of your absence, feeling more alone than he ever had before. What could have possibly happened to make him feel this way? To make you leave? The answer was rather simple—he was just too damn busy.

Clay had dedicated a considerable amount of time to his career, filming or streaming during the little free time he had. As he grew more popular, the time that you had spent in each other’s presence dwindled significantly, each day becoming lonelier than the last. Your interactions with him had shortened drastically—what were once long, lingering kisses placed on your forehead had devolved into chaste pecks, void of any true care or meaning. While you understood entirely that Clay’s career was important, you found yourself slowly losing hope.

You realized it one day as he was filming.

It was a day no different from the last. Clay was recording a Manhunt video in his office, his voice shrill as he begged his friends for mercy. He was always loud when he filmed, and though you had chastised him for it countless times, he never listened. A loud sigh escaped your lips, going unheard, and you shifted your position on the couch, uncomfortable. Everyday seemed to be the same—each as lonely and frustrating as the last. Clay’s ignorance only fueled your apathy towards your relationship more, and you couldn’t help but find yourself growing hopeless at the thought of Clay being unaware of your unhappiness. Your troubled thoughts continued until a week had passed—a long, grueling week in which you had hopelessly tried to burrow your apathetic thoughts. But you couldn’t. You were giving up. The realization of your unhappiness made a pit grow in your stomach. You knew that you cared about Clay, but you couldn’t keep living the way you were—tired, unacknowledged, pitiful.

And so, you let him go.

Clay was editing by the time you gathered the courage to face him, your stomach nauseous as you approached his office door. A light knock signaled your presence, and Clay muttered a quiet ‘come in,’ his voice raspy after hours of unuse. Blowing out a breath, you entered the room, your expression sullen upon noticing Clay’s inattentiveness. His eyes were still glued to his monitor, deeply focused on editing rather than your presence. You waited for a few seconds, silently hoping he would pay you any mind, but he didn’t. A wave of disappointment washed over you, though you managed to keep your voice steady as you declared, “We should break up.” Clay tensed in his seat, suddenly fixated on your words rather than the hours worth of footage he was editing. His chair turned with a quiet squeak as he swiveled around to face you. “What?” You sensed the subtle indignation of his tone as he squinted confusedly at your abrupt words. “We should break up.” You were much quieter this time, unable to meet his eyes as your words died silently in the tense air. You wrung your hands together anxiously as you leaned back on your heels, feeling awkward under Clay’s intense gaze. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you should’ve just stayed quiet and dealt with it. Maybe—

“Okay.”

Immediately, your eyes flickered up to meet his, filled with a silent desperation as you searched his emerald irises for any indication of his intentions. Nothing.

“Okay?”

Clay remained silent for a moment, his body stiff as he leaned back in his noisy chair. His expression was inscrutable as he stared at you blankly, trying to find the right words to say as he watched your face remain solemn at his confound brevity. His voice was level as he spoke, “I know I’ve been busy lately. We haven’t spent a lot of time together and that’s my fault. I could sit here and promise to change, but we both know I can’t—not right now.” Though you felt your heart shatter, you knew he was right. His job was too important, too time consuming.

A nod signaled your understanding and you turned to leave, feeling overwhelmingly dejected.

“Hey.” You turned around to meet Clay’s eyes, noticing the hurt that was settled in them. “I hope you know I care about you.” You fought the urge to cry and shot him a watery smile, struggling to keep your tone unwavering as you agreed, “Me too.”

Two months had passed.

Clay had been struggling. Everyone knew it—his friends, family, even his fans. It was clear that the once cheerful, happy man had become melancholy, suddenly depressed and unable to hide his unhappiness on camera. There had been numerous speculations of why this was, but only few knew the truth. Sapnap was among one of them and had been staying at Clay’s for the past month, creating content with his best friend while simultaneously making sure he was okay. Though two months had passed, Clay was still a mess. Perhaps it was because it hadn’t hit him that day. He had momentarily convinced himself that his career was more important than you, but deep down he knew that wasn’t true. He wanted so desperately to reach out to you, but assumed you had moved on—another incorrect belief of his. Clay cooped himself up in his home, never leaving unless it was urgent. He had sunken into a deep depression and the only remedy for his pain was you. You. He treated you so poorly. Everyday was a constant reminder of your absence and it was his fault. He could’ve made more time for you, or at least spent the free time he had with you.

Remorseful thoughts ran through his head everyday, nearly driving himself crazy, and Sapnap knew he needed to get Clay out of the house.

“There’s a party tonight, I think we should go.” Clay immediately denied the offer with a shake of his head, grumbling to himself. His best friend sighed indignantly, blowing out a breath of frustration before stating, “You don’t have a choice, you need to get out of the house.” Sapnap stood his ground, arms crossed as he stared at Clay sternly. A minute had passed and Clay, aware of his best friend’s stubbornness, gave in begrudgingly, “Fine, but only for an hour.” Sapnap grinned triumphantly, exiting the room with a smirk. He slammed the door behind him, heading back to his room while yelling, “And shave, for fuck sake.” Clay shook his head, cracking a small smile at his friend’s words.

The party was overwhelming to say the least. Bodies swarmed the crowded living room, reeking of alcohol and sweat. Music blared from a speaker, a shrill, nearly deafening melody that was sure to give Clay a headache by the end of the night. The room was buzzing with conversation, every word drowning out in the loud atmosphere. Almost immediately, Clay was passed a beer, and he lifted the bottle to his lips to take a swig. If Sapnap was going to make him stay here, he may as well take some edge off while doing so. A few minutes had passed and he finished the bottle, discarding it in a bin nearby. “I’m gonna go get another drink.” Clay muttered to Sapnap, who was talking loudly to a group of people he’d recognized. His best friend patted his back in response, chuckling as he gave him a playful shove towards the kitchen. Stumbling through the drunken crowd, Clay soon broke free as he neared his destination. He grabbed a beer, opening it skillfully off of the edge of a table, and turned around wordlessly. Taking a big sip, he hoped to free his mind from thoughts of you. Though he wasn’t one to drink, especially when upset, Clay knew that, aside from you, alcohol was the only other solution to temporarily mask his pain. He’d already drank half before he warned himself to slow down, knowing that if he got too drunk, he’d probably do something he regretted. Turning around so he could rejoin Sapnap, Clay nearly dropped his drink on the floor, feeling his heart drop.

His eyes met yours. And then, he heard the music.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathin’ in your dust.

Clay felt his breath hitch in his throat, noticing the surprise in your eyes as you stared at him, astonished. As he stood there, staring at you shamelessly, he regretted it—everything. He regretted how he neglected you, ignored you, prioritized all of the wrong things when the only right thing in his life was right in front of him: you. Memories flashed before his eyes, quick and familiar, yet saddening all the same. The way you smiled at him from across the room when he was filming, the way you held him when he was stressed, the way you spoke to him, softly, while he was streaming to check up on him. Everything.

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust

You looked away, suddenly nervous, though the eye contact was all-too-familiar. You felt your heart begin to race as you processed every detail of Clay’s face—from his anxious expression to the dark circles beneath his eyes. He looked like a mess. But so did you. You mirrored most of his tired, dejected qualities because you, too, were hurting.

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

Snapping you out of your daze, you felt a tug on your arm. “Hey, you alright?” Your friend asked worriedly. Nodding briskly, you muttered a quiet ‘yeah’ and smiled in a poor attempt to sound convincing. Seconds passed, and you could still feel the intensity of Clay’s burning gaze as your friend tugged you through the crowd, handing you a drink in the process. You dared to look up, instantly locking eyes with Clay, and swallowed thickly. You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever, not when he was looking at you like that—desperate, longing.

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

Lifting up the red solo cup to your lips, you downed its contents quickly, eliciting a few laughs and impressed hollers from your friends. You were never the type to drink, but you felt that it was necessary, especially when you knew Clay was still staring at you intently. Downing another shot, you risked glancing up towards Clay, but he was gone. Suddenly anxious as a result of his absence, you surveyed the room. Nothing. “I’m gonna go get a drink.” You said before you could stop yourself, not giving your friends the chance to answer you before you ventured into the kitchen. You tried to dodge the swaying, drunken bodies as you made your way quickly into the room, frowning upon entry. Clay wasn’t there either. You sighed, frustrated, and grabbed a beer, struggling to open it. You nearly laughed at your incompetence, feeling sadly nostalgic despite the humor you found in your struggles—Clay had always opened your beers, then teased you for being incapable. You fought back an onslaught of tears at the memory and sighed deeply, leaning against the table with your head in your hands.

Secrets I have held in my heart.

“Hey.” Your body jolted at the sound of his voice. Daring to turn around, you felt your chest constrict at the sight of him clutching your now-opened beer, a sad smile plastered on his tired features.

Are harder to hide than I thought.

“Hey.” You breathed. Clay passed the beer to your shaking hand, trying to ignore the way his fingers brushed against yours. Chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously as he tried to find the right words to say, Clay admitted, “I’m sorry.” A few quiet moments passed, though they felt like an eternity, and you replied simply, “Don’t be.” You tried to hide the tremor that shook your arm as you took another swig of your beer, noticing how Clay’s face fell in sudden disappointment. What? Did you say the wrong thing? You didn’t want Clay to feel guilty, to blame himself for your failed relationship though it was mostly his fault. Why? Because you cared about him. You could immediately sense the despair that washed over him. And, though you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol coursing through your veins or the pure adrenaline from the moment, you hugged him.

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

Clay tensed at your touch, wondering if the beer had gotten to him or if this really was happening. It was. He soon wrapped his arms around your waist, grip purposeful as he tugged you into him. Your head rested against his chest, the steady thumping of his heartbeat in your ear far more of a melodic sound compared to any music you’d ever listened to.

Wanna be yours

Clay swayed the two of you softly, resting his chin atop your head. You clung to him tightly, shutting your eyes as he held you, gentle. “I missed you so much.” You admitted before your mind could even process it. Clay chuckled, lowering his head so his lips were close to your ear, “I missed you more, baby.” You tried to fight the grin that plastered itself on your face as you took in his words, squeezing his torso with such force you were sure he’d explode. Clay went to speak again, caressing your sides so gently you could barely feel it, before being interrupted.

“Holy shit, there you are, dumbass!”

Sapnap.

Clay pulled away from you to glare at his best friend, trying to ignore the shit eating grin on Sapnap’s face as he glanced at you. “My bad, I didn’t mean to interrupt...whatever the hell I just interrupted. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, but you clearly are.” Before either of you could respond, he left, shooting his friend a thumbs up before disappearing into the crowd. You couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction, noticing the slight rosiness Clay’s cheeks had suddenly sported, embarrassed. “Sorry about that, he…” Clay struggled to find the perfect word to describe his best friend, but trailed off. “Yeah.” You agreed, seemingly understanding what he meant despite his silence. Clay laughed, then. The sound was music to your ears, and when his smile faded, the two of you were serious again. Clay’s hand found refuge in yours as he began to speak, his face solemn as he confessed, “I lied. I can change. I will right now if you want me to—I’d do anything for you.”

Wanna be yours

You smiled lovingly at the man, interlocking the fingers of his hand that wasn’t already occupied in yours, and pulled him closer to you, wanting him near.

Wanna be yours

“Deal.”

#dream imagine #dreamwastaken imagine #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream angst #dreamwastaken angst #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #mcyt angst

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azenkii · 5 years ago

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A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

#holy cow this ended up so much longer than i intended #atla #avatar #zuko #firelord zuko #headcanons

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user21340 · 4 years ago

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my only exception

(i don’t own this gif or any of the characters in this fic)

summary: you and nat are separated when in the Red Room. you both are reunited. after holding onto a couple things to give her for a couple years you both realize love is well and alive.

warnings: violence, abuse, swearing, lil angst, fluff

pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

word count: nearly 1.8k

a/n: omg i don’t know what to say! thank you for all the support on the stuff i’ve released so far. it’s super crazy seeing some of my favorite writers following me. thank you so so much for 30 followers! much love 💕💕

(italics in dialogue mean the person is speaking russian)

sorry for any mistakes i wrote this at 3am and have to get up for school at 6 😪 no bueno

It was a cold and stormy night as the power in the Red Room continuously flickered on and off even with the help of a high powered generator.

You and Natalia had been waiting for an event like this to occur so you could break out. Even though both herself and you lived only a small bit of life outside in the real world before you were taken in and trained to become a weapon, both of your humanly morals knew right from wrong. The Red Room’s treatment definitely being a wrong.

Madame B and the other monstrous staff at this facility put all you girls to bed roughly an hour ago. Nat and yourself undid your cuffs connecting your wrist to the metal bedframe so you could pack the few things you both owned before you made your escape. Both of you had talked this plan over through and through so you both were on the same page as soon as you saw that flicker of a power outage surge though the site.

At the moment you both were eighteen years old meaning both of you had proven yourselves worthy enough to hone a spot at this academy and had graduated a couple months prior.

GAME PLAN

Some information you had gathered which the staff weren’t aware of was every time the power flickered off, it disarmed and unlocked the exit door/s for nearly five seconds. The weather has been dry but cold lately not making this discovery too useful. The plan was to sneak over to uncuff yourselves in the middle of the night when these brief power outages were occurring, pack your items, and as you were about to escape bang on the wall of the large room where the girls kept at the academy would sleep to create enough of a distraction before you were out and free for good. Easy right? How wrong you’d be.

When it was time for the distraction, Nat stood by the door waiting for the next surge of lightning of whatever broke the electricities stability as you walked to the far side of the sleeping quarters where you were sure you’d have enough time to bang on the walls and sprint out of that door.

You heard a crash of thunder so you knew your escape chance would be soon. As you were about to start banging on the walls you see a door knob parallel to Nat but far away none the less start turning.

BAM

Lightning strikes, what seems to be right outside of the building. You sprint for the door only to have your arm caught by one of Madame B’s henchmen.

Just like that the power flickers.

five.

Without much thought you break away from the man’s grasp lunge at Natalia who happened to be at the door.

four.

“We’ll meet again Natalia.” you speak softly

three.

You shove her out of the door with all of your might.

two.

You use all of your remaining strength that you can muster up to slam the heavy metal door closed.

one.

Click

The door locks once again.

“You stupid little bitch. Get over here NOW!” the man practically growls.

You slowly and steadily walk over to the man as he gruesomely pummels and kicks you.

Sure the beatings, mind torture and manipulation hurt, but you’ve never experienced any kind of pain on the same caliber to what being separated from Natalia feels like.

Madame B is more than disappointed, enraged and annoyed with one of her ‘star students’. You receive daily beatings and long, tiresome training hours for helping Natalia escape. Although everyone is ‘replaceable’ in the minds of the staff as well as Madame B, they just lost Natalia so they couldn’t afford to lose you as well.

Months later the beatings finally slow down to a couple a week which you are able to endure. Madame’s mission now is to make a monster out of you by pushing you to and past your limits when training.

One night you finally drift off to sleep. You hate sleeping. It’s a constant replay of your last night with Nat. Only hoping that she made it to civilization safe and sound and is living a normal teens life. However, tonight’s dream is different. In this dream you see yourself shoving your packed-escape bag between your mattress and bedframe as you are bleeding out on the ground from the beatings. You wake up in a cold sweat and manage to kneel on the ground and slowly lift up your mattress only to find that same, small bag filled with the few, but important belongings of yours and Nat’s. You open up the bag forgetting all about what you both had packed. The most important items you see is a picture of Natalia as a toddler with alongside her mother and father, a small metal ring which you had made for her after stealing a small teaspoon at dinner, banging it against the concrete floor with a rock to flatten it out as you’d continuously bend it back and fourth so only the thinnest part is of the spoon is left which you bend into a ring before surprising Nat with it after you know she had a pretty rough day training, and lastly Nat’s papers containing important info about her such as her full name, birthplace, parents names, and birthdate.

November 22, 1984

You make sure you have this date burned into your head, latching onto any important information about her you can learn.

You hang onto those three items keeping them hidden.

Two and a half years later...

It’s late at night when you hear gunshots and fights breaking out throughout the facility. You quickly get up out of bed (once again undoing your cuffs) and grab those three items from under your mattress. You place them in your pocket getting ready to make a break for the outside world. As you reach for the door you turn back taking one last look at the place you’ve been living for pretty much the entirety of your life, only before a man in a funny red, white, and blue costume enters your view.

You bring your hands up ready for a fight.

“Look kid, I’m not here to fight you. We are breaking you out.” the man ensures

“Who even are you?” you sternly question

“Steve Rogers. But the public calls me Captain America.” his gaze settles on your figure, “Mind telling me who you are?” he pushes

“Names y/n, but look I’ve got places to be ma-“ you are cut off when Captain America’s jaw drops.

“No, we both know you don’t. But, you ARE coming with me.” you know there isn’t much room for protest but that won’t stop you from trying. You lunge at him and push him to the ground as you wave a small goodbye and sprint towards the door only for your body to fall on the ground limp. Realizing you’ve been stunned by something temporarily.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” you shriek, he only chuckles.

“God, Nat was right about you.” she shakes he head with a small grin on his face.

“N-nat?” you whisper as you vision fades black.

You regain consciousness and look around only to find yourself in a weird windowy, loud vehicle type thing. You see a group of people standing around you but you see one particular familiar face hovering directly over yours lightly combing through your hair with one one hand and gently outlining your jawline with the other.

“NAT!” you screech, your brain is feeling too many emotions to comprehend at the moment.

Once she sees and hears you are awake she pulls you into a bone crushing hug.

“Y/n/n I’m so sorry I left you and you had to stay in that hellhole for so long alone I don’t know how I would’ve help up it if that-“ you cut her off

“Natalia, all that matters is I’m here with you right now.” you reason.

After getting off of what you learned is a ‘plane’ you and Nat spend hours together clinging onto one another as if, as soon as you separate you will be absent in her life for another couple years, vice versa.

Months pass by. Even though you and Nat have yet to label yourselves as a couple your hearts belong to one another after being attached to the hip to one another for pretty much every activity or mission you both do. In this time you were also recruited as an Avenger due to your skillful hand to hand combat and your masterful types of fighting you have nearly perfected from your time in the room.

The date just happens to be November 22. You are pretty sure no one in the compound is aware of Natalia’s birthday, hell, you aren’t even sure if she’s aware.

Today is the day you decide to return the missing items from her bag that you recover after she left.

You wake up next to her and wake her up with a long, graceful, soft kiss on her lips to which she responds shortly after by kissing you back as you feel as tiny smirk against your own lips.

“Hey, what was that for?” she asks playfully

“Ohhh nothing. Just maybe it’s for my favorite girl’s special day today.” Nat blushes.

“H-how’d you know?”

“Oh honey, I know e v e r y t h i n g.” you reply

Before she can respond you pull her to sit up on your shared bed and hand her an envelope containing her papers as well as he one and only photo of herself and her family.

As soon as she sees both items she sobs into your chest. (more because of the picture, you really only included her papers so she too would know all the most crucial parts of her life pre-red room era.

“Uh, uh, uh’” you tut,”One more thing.” you reach for her hand slowly and tell her to shut her eyes. You slowly slide the makeshift ring on her finger.

“Open.” you instruct

To which she gasps at the sight and just like the day you both were reunited you hugged and kissed for hours on end.

“Nat, will you be my girlfriend?” you ask with a sheepish smile.

“Of course y/n/n, I thought you’d never ask.” she takes a breath,“I know love is for children, but you are my only exception.”

“Ditto.” Natalia chuckles, “That is what the Americans say, right?” you backtrack with flushed cheeks.

She holds you tighter and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Sure.” she breathes out.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanov x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n

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