#or i feel like if we were gonna get a love triangle

[wikitpowers]

Your most unpopular shadowhunter opinion

matthew and lucie should have ended up together.

that's all i gotta say

no but honestly no hate to jesse bc he is a good character and i actually think him and lucie are really cute at times but just idk hmm,,, i can't really tell u why but their ship just didn't stick out to me like the others in all the other series did.

i think matthew would have made a much more interesting match for lucie. not to mention, i'm a sucker for some childhood-friends-to-lovers and brother's-best-friend type tropes, like it would have been SO good. plus we don't get a lot of extrovert x extrovert vibes from cassie i feel, so that would have been hella fun. additonally though, i also think they would provide with the angst; like lucie helping matthew with his addiction, him trying to assure her about her powers, them stealing glances at every event and not knowing whether to tell james etc. i think they had a LOT of wasted potential!

but yeah ghostwriter shippers pls don't come for my throat :')

[victoria-grimesss]

locked on target

masterlist

->Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem!Reader

->Words: 4.7k

->Warning: MDNI! unprotected sex, rough sex, fingering, mask stays partially on, dirty talk.

->Summary: Working alongside the 141 for a year now, you’ve grown closer to the infamous ghost. Confiding in Soap about your crush, confession is the only way to rid yourself of the gnawing infatuation. 

->A/N: Despite all my writing being about König, ghost is my all time favorite baby girl, writing for him always intimidated me but I’ll give it my best shot, hope he’s not too OOC.

It’s been a full year on the 141 and you couldn't be happier, well not happy at the moment since you’re ankle deep in sludge. This mission is going as well as any other despite the evac being miles away through humid weather and wet ground. 

“Good thing I packed extra socks.” You muttered, readjusting your gun and pack and unsticking your boot from a deep pocket of mud.

“Oh come on lass it could be worse right? We could be treading through anaconda infested waters huh? Lighten up.” Soap is next to you. He's having an easier time removing his boots from the muck. 

Price is in the front with Gaz next to him talking about the evac and rations, you admire their relationship. Price has slowly morphed into some kind of a father figure to you as you assume he did for Gaz too or at least a mentor. Gaz and Soap are like brothers to you, you bicker like such. You pick on Soap when he gets too drunk to form correct sentences and starts singing songs from his childhood, and you get Gaz too when he laughs so hard you have to remind him to breathe. Like a dynamic triangle the three of you.

Then there’s Ghost.

He stands at the back of the group behind you and Soap, no evident trouble for him when it comes to the mud. He’s sturdy and observant, keeping a close eye on the treeline and behind the group. He's a great soldier and you admire his skills… and him. Ever since you met him you’ve had your eyes trained. 

I mean who wouldn’t.

From his expressive eyes which sometimes you feel look through you, to his broad shoulders where he holds the world on top of them, his strong arms that deal with enemies swifty, to…his… lower extremities that you certainly have only thought of once or twice. Maybe more. 

You should be ashamed of your feelings, and you lock them down deep the only time they have slipped past your lips is when too much alcohol loosens them. 

—

You confessed one night to soap, the rest were asleep and your insomnia was kicking your ass so you went to the parking lot where soap was nursing a bottle on the hood of his car, and you sat down and shared it.

“Something on your mind bonnie?” He hands the bottle to you, concern brewing in him.

“I don’t know, it’s just, Ghost.”

He laughs.

“Yea, I know about him, but what about him?” 

You take a couple large gulps of the amber liquid, it burns its way down and soothes your aching wanting heart, burying the hopeless romantic in you. Tears brew in your eyes and you always forget you either become a laughing drunk or a sappy drunk, seems the latter had won tonight.

“Aye- lass, what's wrong.” His hand is placed on your shoulder offering a comforting touch.

You sob and laugh at the same time, looking up at Soap.

“I think I’m in love with him.” You say quietly through a stream of tears that make their way into your mouth, making a weird cocktail of salty liquor.

“Oh bonnie…” Soap rubs your back, his voice is soft.

“I just, everything about him Johnny! I can’t get him out of my head, and he probably doesn't even look at me that way, he could get any girl he wanted!” You sob.

“Woah there calm down, gonna throw yourself into a spell talking like this. Look. LT cares about ya, truly. He thinks you’re a valued member of the team and I’ve caught him starin’ a few times so don’t be daft now ya hear. You’re a pretty girl and LT would be lucky to have ya.”

You sniff, wiping the tears and snot with a sleeve.

“Really? You think so?”

“Cross my heart and hope ta die. You’ll be alright.”

—

“It’s in my shoes.” You deadpan.

You hear Gaz laugh and Price looks back, checking on the team.

“Don’t worry Y/N, just imagine it’s a mud bath! Your skin will be smooth and shiny before you know it!” Soap laughs at Gaz’s antics, it’s nice when you can all joke around and relax. The hard part is over and now it’s simple evac.

“Right… how soothing.” Your eyes roll and you look back to check on Ghost, your eyes meet and a flash of electric lightning shoots to your heart, it feels good. 

He gives a quick nod and you return to your trudging. You wait till after the mission to pass any other signals, he’s too focused to register any flirting right now. Or that's the advice Soap gave you after that night.

“Right. Keep close by, chopper is land down in 5, need to evac quickly to avoid any unwanted looks.” Price alerts to the rest of the team once you’ve covered ground and are nearing sweet release. Your back and knees ache just at the thought of sitting. You nurse the last of your water and keep walking, you tip your bottle back along with your head to get the remaining drops and you trip over a protruding root.

Other foot trying to catch yourself a hand catches on your upper arm, righting you up.

“Alright there?” Ghost’s dark eyes are steady on you, maybe a bit amused, or maybe his eye paint is creasing.

“Yea, sorry just tryna finish off the bottle, didn't see that there.”

“Careful next time yea?” He releases your arm and waits for you to start walking again to pick up behind you.

“Yea, for sure LT.”

You feel his hand on your arm even after he released you and you want to untie the knot that Ghost has tied there and you know you’re royally fucked.

You’re all on the chopper and your legs just about give out, you always love the euphoric feeling of sitting down after a mission like this, the lactic acid in your muscles making them burn like no other. You sit across from Ghost and he visibly relaxes once the chopped takes off, the breeze from the open doors cooling everyone immensely.

“Good work everyone, I know evac was shit but you all hustled and we got the intel we needed. I think we all deserve a good ol drink when we get back right?” 

Price brings a smile to everyone's face, as tired as the lot of us are. You glance over at Ghost and his eyes look away from you, looking over his gear.

Your heart pains for some kind of acknowledgment that he feels the same, it’s like trying to hold the same fistful of sand no matter how hard you try it seeps through your fingers, you want him so badly you’d tape your fist shut if that meant keeping the sand in.

—

Back to base, ‘same day different shit’ you heard Ghost say one time. You often hold on to everything he says, hoarding each little piece he feeds you and storing it away somewhere special. Like you’re hoarding food for the winter, as if the winter is him falling in love with a woman that isn't you, when that happens you’ll open your little box of his sayings and advice and eat them slowly, savor them until all that’s left to drink is the tears you drown yourself in as consolation. 

A pity party is what you throw yourself that night, showering and getting a once over by the medic then making your way back to your room, Price wants to get everyone together tomorrow night for a drink, wouldn't hurt you think. You sit on the edge of your bed, the silence is deafening after a mission, tinnitus ringing your ears. The bed is cold, you want someone to warm it, you want Ghost to warm it.

The nightmares come to you quickly that night, visions of your team, your friends being ripped apart by bullets as you try to fire back into mist. You hold Ghost’s hand as he fades and you wake up coated in cold sweat and adrenaline.

3:18 a.m.

You toss and turn for a minute before huffing and leaving the bed, you need air. Adorned in sweatpants and a shirt you got on recruitment day you leave your room the sound of your door is loud and you wince as it closes. You go to the parking lot once more, maybe there will be more stars out tonight. 

The air is crisp and cool, you round the corner of the building where a bench sits, a lone figure is sitting and smoking there, you can tell it’s him by his silhouette. He’s broad and his legs spread wide as he sits alone.

“This seat taken?” You ask, scared if you talk too loud he’ll leave.

“All yours” No inflection is evident in his tone.

Silence sits between you two and you take a harsh breath to break it. It makes you uncomfortable. 

“Trouble sleeping?” His voice is deep and low.

“The usual, nightmares again. You?” 

“Not tired, too soon after the mission to sleep.”

“I understand.” 

You watch him carefully as he brings the cigarette to his lips and inhales, you inhale with him. You imagine him inhaling your perfume as his lips touch your neck. You stare, unabashedly, like you’re not scared if he catches you.

He adjusts where he sits, hips rolling to get more comfortable.

“Bloody bench feels like it’s made of spikes.” He mutters, quietly.

You breathe out a laugh as he exhales the smoke.

His eyes look to the side at you and then forward again.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” 

“Like you want something from me.”

“What if I do?” 

Your heart is racing now, faster than it had on any given mission.

He stands, throwing the cigarette to the ground and crushing it with his boot, he slips his mask down again and his eyes are locked on you.

“I’d say you’d better fuckin’ find it elsewhere, we both know I can’t give you what you want.”

“What do I want Simon?” 

His lips grow sealed when you say his name.

“Things I’m incapable of providing, best leave it at that. Night sergeant.”

His tone meant business, you know better than to chase after him. You sit on the bench, staring at the cigarette on the ground. It’s beaten and crushed like you feel right now.

You wonder if you can still taste his lips on it.

The walk of shame back to your room is humiliating, you pass some others that can’t sleep, nightmares aren't anything special around here and you wish you could pluck the worries from their heads.

Sleep is easy after that, maybe your body wants to make you forget the encounter with him but even so you dream of him. He’s an inescapable phantom.

—

“Aye there she is!!” Soap hollers from across the pub, it’s a quaint place, quiet enough to not be annoying but lively enough to not feel desolate.

A large corner booth is what they occupy and you wave as you make your way over, A few empty glasses scatter the table already you arrived ‘fashionably late’.

“Hey bonnie I gotta take a leak you can have my seat yea?” He nudges Ghost so he can be let out of the booth, Ghost stands towering over you. Soap shuffles over to the bathroom and Ghost  lets you slide into the booth before he follows, trapped between the wall and him. You’d rather be under him…

You greet them all and Gaz slides you a tall glass of something mind numbing, Ghost has his mask down but he’s nearly finished with his glass same with the rest of them.

“You got some catching up to do, miss fashionably late.” Gaz shoots a smile and you clink your glasses together.

Soap meanders back and pulls a chair to sit at the end of the table, you all squabble over what a better drink is and down rounds after rounds. The conversation somehow gravitates to relationships at some point and Soap is going on and on about this woman he met at the pub down the street.

“Oh she’s a real sweetheart, thinking about asking her out later this week when I get the balls to do it.”

You smile at the way Soap talks about her, you’d love to be admired like that, treasured.

“I think you should go for it Johnny! You're a nice guy, I can go in there and talk you up if you want, say you fought off ten men to save my life.”

He laughs, nearly tipping off his chair, 

“You’re a real wingman Y/N, if you can secure a date by all means.”

You smile and the air is joyous, little is heard from Ghost but you know he likes seeing the team happy, he sips his drink and observes, smiles hidden by his mask.

“Have you had any luck on the dating scene Y/N?” 

Gaz questions, eyebrows rising.

“Yea bonnie, never hear a peep out of you when we talk about lovey dovey shit.”

You shrug, taking strong sips of your drink.

“I went on a date a while back, he got me flowers, a real nice guy. Found out he was sleeping with my friend behind my back around the fourth date. Don’t really want to try anymore, end of story.”

You can feel Ghost’s eyes burning into you as you finish the sentence. His gaze is addicting and you feel sweaty locked in his stare.

“Well he’s a proper twat for messing it up with you then yea?” 

Price offers a tip of his head, sympathy in his eyes.

“Ah it’s alright, I’ll just wait for my prince charming to come sweep me off my feet.” You bat your lashes dramatically and fake a swoon, soothing the old memory with jokes. It turns the tide of the table ambiance to a lighter one.

“I need to piss.” Ghost says quickly, you scoot out of the seat and Ghost hurries off to where Johnny has gone to earlier.

“What’s up his arse?” Gaz says confused.

Price downs the last of his drink and slams it back onto the table.

“What do you all say to a game of pool?”

“I’ll watch, cheer ya’ll on.” You still nurse your drink and you start to buzz, worries slipping away like papers, but one it left, weighted down with a large paperweight.

“I’ll be right there, gonna finish this drink off.” Soap says, sloshing the leftover liquid that's in his glass.

“Very well, see you momentarily.”

Soap watched the two walk off, leaving the two of you left alone.

He turns back quickly, you get secondhand whiplash.

“Ghost has had his eyes on you the whole night please tell me you told him and he confesses his secret love for you!” Soaps eyes are huge and he’s pleading for the right answer.

“Not exactly.” He delfates.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘not exactly’?”

“I told him that I kinda wanted him and he said he wouldn't be able to give me what I want.”

“That's bollocks and you know it! He’s always watching you, never seen him doing that for any other lass. Now is the time, he’s all alone. Go on and chat him up, I’ll tell the boys you’ve gone home sick alright.” 

Soap winks and leaves before you can utter another word. You even your breathing and gulp down the rest of the liquid courage before strolling over to the bathroom hallway. It does not take guys that long to pee weird he's not around.

You walk outside, feeling deja vu from last night the breeze hits the same way.

“You should go inside, it’s cold out.” Ghost is standing leaned up against the brick wall next to the door.

“I was looking for you actually.”

He stands up straighter, shoulders held further.

“Lads looking? Not really in the mood to lose another game. Last time was enough.”

You laugh, the alcohol making it easier to relax around him. You're tipsy enough to have fake confidence for the time being but sober enough to make deductions wisely.

“No Simon, I’m looking. For you.”

“And I told you to stop, you don’t know what you’re thinking. You’re a nice girl yea? Find a nice young guy that can take you on dates and buy you flowers-

“I don’t want anyone else Simon. I want you because I’m in love with you!”

It seems like the whole world went silent after you said that. You’re steaming and don’t move your eyes away from him.

“Y/N.”

“I’m tired of pretending. I just had to tell you I couldn't hold it in any longer it was making me sick. I don’t care about fancy stuff, you should know that by now. I just want to be next to you.”

He approaches you, your neck craning to maintain contact.

“Y/N, I’m proper fucked up you know that? You’re too kind, too perfect to be ruined by a man like me.”

You sniff, the cold getting to you.

“I think you’re wonderful Simon really. You look out for everyone and make sure everyone is alright before looking after yourself. Let me please show you you’re worth loving in return.”

Your heart spills to him, spewing it’s contents violently.

“I’m not joking, I'm not ‘prince charming’ like you referenced earlier.”

“Even better.” You smile.

“Fuck it.”

Before you know it, he lifted the small portion of his mask to kiss you and you erupt, wrapping your arms securely around his neck as though you’ll fall if you don’t. His hands hover over your waist and you grab them and push them down onto your body and he pulls you close. He kisses you like it’s the last time, he makes up for all the times he should have, all the time he desperately wanted to.

He’s watched from afar for so long, your laugh creates sparks in his heart, seeing you make it back from another mission safely spurs him on. He would lay down his life for you and you don’t even know it.

He pulled back, mouth in the crook of your neck.

“Your place is nearby right?” You ask, rubbing his neck and down his back.

“Yea, yea it is.”

He leads you back, back to his den where he’ll draw you in with those eyes and that voice, calloused hands exposed from his gloves that will trace over your skin. The walk is in silence but you both are buzzing, the team won’t miss you, probably happy this chasing game is over with so peace can be established once more. He takes your hand as he leads you up the steps to his apartment, you grope his arm and he shoots you a sultry side-eye.

“Have I ever told you I love your arms?”

“You did just now love.”

Love, love, love. You want him to keep saying it.

He leads you in you’re caged in by his arms on the inside of the door. He looks you over head to toe.

“You look fuckin lovely tonight you know that? All I’ve been thinking about is tearing this top off of you and stripping you down.”

You shiver and bring your hands to run carefully from his abdomen up to his chest.

“You think of ripping my clothes off frequently?”

“Very.”

Stunned by his words and your head swimming he places his hands on your waist and lowers his head to your ear.

“Now if you’d allow me, I’d like to fuck you now.”

Hypnotized you speak.

“Yes please.”

His home is lowly lit and sparsely decorated, you assume he’s not here often or for long.

The bedroom is simple, a bed, two side tables, two lamps, and a dresser. An adjacent bathroom you can’t see.

“You have a nice place.”

“Well now I know you’re lying.”

You stand at the edge of the bed and he stands before you and his hands are on you again pushing you onto the bed you are surrounded by the smell of him, the deep umber and woodsy scent. 

“You know how many times I’ve pictured you in my bed?”

He’s inching your pants down your hips agonizingly slow as he speaks.

“How many times I fucked myself picturing you instead?”

“Ghost.”

“Nah none of that here, you’re gonna say my real name from now on and you’re gonna scream it alright?”

“Fuck Simon.”

“Yea. Just. Like. That.” Your pants are off and his hands move from your ankles up to your knees and caress to your inner thighs. His fingers skate your pantyline and your eyes are locked on his hand and he doesn't stop. His hands move over your hips and grip your waist before moving right below your breasts, he checks you with his eyes and you plead silently.

He cups you fully with both hands and you roll your head savoring his feelings.

“So fucking good love fuck.”

He strips you of your shirt and bra and you’re left exposed on his bed. He stands back to stare down upon you and you feel like a spread of food sitting on a stark white table ready to be consumed and ogled. He strips himself of his leather jacket leaving his quite form fitting black tee on.

You adjust under his gaze, his mask hides any expression but his eyes say so much. Raking over your body heavily and his chest rising and falling fast as though he had run a marathon.

“Simon.”

“Yea?”

“Do something.”

“Like what?” His voice is lighter now.

“Anything Simon!”

He laughs and places a knee in between your legs, spreading them wide to accommodate his other leg and hips.

“There we go, fuck all spread out underneath me.”

His hand is placed on your breast and rolls your nipples in his fingers, it moves down never leaving your skin until he reaches your core it’s hot and wet and he collects it on his fingers and when he finally touches you it’s like you’ve reached Valhalla. 

He slips a finger inside and it faces no resistance, you form around him and he slips in another starting a smooth rhythm.

“So tight, you think you’ll be able to take me huh love?” 

He’s pumping in you and you can hear how wet he’s made you, his eyes darting from his fingers to your face, thrown into pleasure.

He brings you to your peak so quickly you’re stunned and you grip his arm as you clench around him, his name being pulled from you like a mantra.

 You regain your mind and look at him as he slips from you and his fingers make their way under his mask, his eyes on your as he licks them clean tasting you on him.

“Sweetest fucking thing I ever tasted.”

He’s unbuckling his belt next, unzips his pants and pulls himself free. He's thick as all hell and a thick vein runs down the underside. It looks heavy and you pocket an idea for next time.

You're staring for a long time and his two fingers that just did unspeakable things to you tip your chin to look at him.

“Think you can handle it?”

“I can take it, just hurry up.”

“You’re always so impatient you know that.”

He places the tip at your entrance collecting your wetness to help with the initial push.

The stretch is delicious and you grip his arm and shoulder gasping at the feeling of being full of him.

“Fuck. Fuck you’re so fucking tight, squeezing me so fucking good.”

His one arm is braced at the side of your head, forearm spattered with tattoos burning your peripheral vision. The other holds himself, leading himself into you.

He’s seated fully inside and you feel split down the middle in the best way. Burning fire deep within you and you moan for him to move, creating the friction you need.

He starts moving and you both moan, he tips his head forward to watch where he enters you repeatedly.

“So good, fuck so big Simon.”

“You take it so well, love.”

His hand that once gripped himself holds your hip and moves himself like the ocean, fluid and rhythmic.

“Always dreamt about fucking you, you spread out of my bed while I fuck my cock deep into you.”

You throw your head back and he leans back, the warm air that was between you two leaving for the cold air of the room bringing your nipples to hard peaks which his eyes gravitate to.

“Alright c’mon love.”

He takes your ankles and your legs are on his shoulders. He thrusts that much deeper and hits the right spot to make you see spots.

“You like that, fuck I can see how deep I’m going in you.” 

His hand finds your and puts it on your lower stomach and pushes down so you can feel the way he thrusts within you and how deep he reaches, you clench around him.

“Yea you like that.” He's cocky like this, dominant and all controlling. You’re putty in his hand.

“Simon I’m close don't stop please, fuck please.”

He lifts his mask up over his lips and kisses your ankle, biting your calf when he growls and that's all you need to be pushed over the edge.

“Fuck, yea cum on my cock good fucking girl.”

He fucks you through it and leans down to be face to face again. Your legs draped over his shoulders and he hits the right spot with each thrust now, he’s battering you into the mattress and his growling with each thrust muttering about how good you feel and how nicely you wrap about him.

You claw at his chest through his shirt sobbing and babbling and moaning.

“Can’t even form a proper sentence, so drunk on my cock yea? You gonna be a good girl and cum again for me?”

The graphic noises from where the two of you are joining echos through the room and you hope his neighbors aren't home.

“Yes, yes Simon please please please.”

The bed is an orchestra of noises and he shoots a hand up to the headboard, his knuckles gone white from gripping it so hard. Your abdomen is tight, so tight and your so fucking close you just want to cum at the same time as him.

“Fuck fuck fuck, so tight and wet where do you want me to cum, fucking tell me.”

“Inside me, inside me it’s safe.”

Not a beat after that leaves your mouth he’s seating himself so deep within you, you feel him throbbing deep within you and your vision goes blurry, ears gone fuzzy as you both are thrown into the abyss at the same time. 

You hear a crack from above you but you pay no mind as your neck deep in pure white hot bliss.

“Fuckin hell love, really. Fuck.” He's panting, you’re panting.

You stroke his chest lovingly as he kisses your ankle as he slowly lowers your legs from his shoulders. He lowers his mask once more.

You glace up to where his hand still grips the headboard and a deep crack is ingrained in the wood.

You laugh.

“Jesus Simon, you fucked me so hard you broke your bed.” 

He removes his hand observing the wood and shrugging.

“Well worth it I’d say, I’ll invest in a sturdier one.”

“Are you saying you’ll invite me to your place more often?”

“Your place works too.”

You both banter as you both clean up, you shower and he washes the sheets and hangs around the kitchen, letting you some time to refresh.

You come out of the bathroom smelling like him, drowned in one of his shirts and he's leaned up against his kitchen island gazing blindly at the random rugby channel he turned on.

He slides you a beer and you take it gratefully, bumping your glasses together.

“I mean it Y/N, I’m not the kind of man you might be thinking.”

“No Simon, you’re exactly the man I’m looking for, you’re stuck with me now.”

There's a beat of silence before Simon speaks up again.

“I should probably thank Johnny for tonight right?”

“Yea, he pretty much told me to quit my bitching and confront you.”

He sips his beer, 

“Well, for once I can say thank fuck for Soap and his matchmaking skills.”

You laugh and stare at him in adoration, this is the start of something wonderful.

---

Tag list: @theredviolets

[thir10th]

too many shoes - October writing challenge day 4

summary: moving in together was the best thing that could happen to you, however there'a this one thing you've been avoiding tw: none, this is pure fluff a/n: this is probs one of my most favorite things I’ve written, so make sure to lmk if you love it just as much! ❤️

It's only one week that you've been living together but most of the boxes were already empty and things are on its place, it was almost a miracle considering the amount of free days you have, and how effectively you had both worked it all.

The living room was for sure the hardest to put up, but since it was done, it was the centre of the house.

The big couch is enough to let you both lay comfortably on oposite ends, or at least it would be if you didn't prefer to be completely wrapped up on each other.

Emily's head rests comfortably on your shoulder, and you play with her hair absentmindedly and the movie almost finishing up.

"I'm never getting tired of it" you said, the rom com with the ending credits rolling on the screen being one of your favorites.

"yeah it's nice" Emily says with a smile plastered on her face, you kiss her on the head, sitting up to grab the remote.

"you know what i wish they did?" she says, grabbing a pillow and hugging it.

"hm?" you ask, turning the tv off and looking at her, her hair all sprawled out, her Yale hoodie and sweat pants, the pillow on her lap and a blanket over her shoulders. She looks so cuddly liked that.

The image of Emily like that- so sweet and calm, it's one you couldn't picture anywhere else that wasn't your now called home, you smile at her, that comforting feeling of your shared space feeling warm on your stomach.

"lesbian romcoms" she says, taking you out of your head "they don't do lesbian romcoms like this, only the sad, coming out, historical dramas, they're all so sad" she complains.

"yeah, you're right" you agree

"it would be so sweet to just have a silly meet-cute, or a love triangle, or an opposites attract with lesbians, i would watch it" you love her rambling so much, it makes you smile how she only choses to show that side of herself with you.

"I would gladly watch that with you, my love" you lower to kiss her lips softly, she grabs your face softly and you feel her smile against the kiss, her hands feel warm despite her usual cold fingers.

"you know what? I've got an idea" you say, separating from the kiss.

"do you wanna make our own lesbian romcom?" she asks, lifting one eyebrow seductively, it makes you laugh.

"no- I mean, yes, but later" you peck her lips and hold both her hands "we are gonna do... the closet" you announce, and you can see the moment it sinks in.

"oh, right now? c'mon, it's too much work, we got home early today, why don't we watch something else? a lesbian thing this time like The L word or something" you pull her, but she uses her body weight to stay sitting on the big couch.

"Oh c'mon Em, we'll do it together, and it will be super fast, c'mon let's go, i don't wanna shuffle through another box for my work clothes tomorrow" you pull her up against her efforts of staying seated, but eventually gives out, standing straight, wrapping her arm around yours for support.

The closet is big. Bigger than any other closet you've ever had. The walk in space can easily be divided for you and Emily.

The amount of boxes is probably bigger even than the kitchen boxes, which shouldn't come as a surprise considering the amout of shoes Emily has.

"ugh, we will never finish with all of these, it's too much stuff" she complains while shuffling through another box.

"we won't with that attitude, i'm sure, and also not with the amount of shoes here. Do you really need another pair of black boots? I swear you have like ten"

"First of all, that's an exaggeration, I only have 6, and second, yes, I do. Each one has its own personality.” she grins, crossing her arms against her chest.

“Ah, of course. I’d hate to stifle their individual identities.” you laugh, mimicking her tone.

She giggles "now you're catching up."

Emily reaches over to grab an item on the pile of clothes she's been separating. "Hey, have you seen my top that goes with this pants?" she asks, and you lift your sweatshirt to show her the small shirt"

"Oops" you say, and she smiles knowingly.

"I don't even know why we bother separating if you keep stealing all my clothes" she shrugs.

"Hey! You steal my clothes too" you try to defend, but Emily laughs, you know she was just teasing you.

"it's ok baby i don't mind, you do make everything I own look pretty irresistible.” she smirks.

“Flattery isn’t going to save you from this" you grab yet another thing from the pile of clothes.

"Oh, c'mon, i already came out of the closet when i was young, i don't want to enter it again" she smiles proudly of her own joke, and shakes her shoulders.

"And funny is not going to stop me from donating this one.” you say, throwing a shirt at her playfully.

“That was from when I was in Rome! You can’t get rid of my history!” she mock gasps, dramatically clutching the shirt.

“Fine, fine, it stays. But the next hoodie you leave on my side of the closet is officially mine.” you accept, folding a hoodie.

“Deal. I’m not even mad about that. You look cuter in them anyway.” she says, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

Teasingly, you raise an eyebrow “You just like an excuse to see me in your clothes.”

"Well, you're not wrong" she smirks, grabbing another shirt to fold.

After a while, you notice her eyeing a particularly vibrant red dress, its fabric shimmering slightly in the closet's light. She holds it up, letting it sway gently in front of her. “You know, I wore this on a date once. I thought I’d impress this girl, but she ended up being more into my friend,” she laughs, the sound light and airy.

“Hey, I’d be into you in that dress,” you say, the playful challenge hanging in the air.

“Really?” she teases, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “You think I’d look good in it? Maybe I should try it on for you...”

You chuckle, your heart fluttering at the suggestion. “I think it’s more than just the dress that would impress me.”

Emily’s cheeks flush a shade deeper as she bites her lip, her gaze playful yet earnest. “You know what? I think I will. And while I’m at it, we should plan on making our own romcom after this...” she adds, her eyes shining with excitement and mischief.

You nod, appreciating the thought. “Sounds perfect. I could use some of that after all this heavy lifting.”

“Oh yes. You're still wearing my clothes after all” she laughs, and winks at you, and then with a playful glint in her eye, she slips the dress off its hanger and heads toward the bathroom. “I’ll be right back!”

You watch her go, heart racing a little at the thought of her in that dress. A few moments later, she emerges, the fabric hugging her curves perfectly, the neckline just low enough to be enticing without being over the top.

"oh fuck-" that's the only thing that comes out of you when she steps back in.

“How do I look?” she asks, twirling playfully, the dress swirling around her.

“Like you just stepped out of a movie,” you say, your voice a mix of admiration and sincerity. “Seriously, you look stunning.”

Emily beams, her confidence radiating off her in waves. “I feel like I should be on a date or something.”

“Or starring in our own romantic comedy,” you suggest, your gaze steady on her, drinking in every detail—the way the dress accentuates her figure, the way she moves with such ease.

“Right? Like, imagine a silly meet-cute where I trip over my own feet and fall right into your arms,” she laughs, her eyes sparkling. “And then it turns into this wild adventure where we fight the odds and end up together, just like in those movies.”

“Definitely. You’d have to make it a happy ending, though,” you reply, stepping closer to her, feeling the magnetic pull of her presence.

Emily bites her lip, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Oh, I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she murmurs, glancing up at you through her lashes.

You take a moment to soak in her words and the beauty before you, feeling her playfulness. “You really could pull off that whole leading lady vibe,” you say softly, your heart racing as you lean in just a little closer.

“Maybe I could use a leading lady to match,” she replies, her voice dipping into something a bit more sultry. “What do you think? You up for the challenge?”

You can feel the warmth radiating from her, your heart pounding in your chest. “I think I can handle that,” you whisper, and without thinking, you close the distance, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. It’s tender, electric- the domesticity feeling so natural you could melt against her any second.

As you pull back, Emily smiles shyly, her cheeks still flushed from both the kiss, and the thought of it. She grabs your hand and pulls you outside “c'mon, let's come out of the closet- again"

You laugh softly, pulling her closer to you. "We don't need the straight romcoms while we have each other." you kiss her again, she hums against your lips, agreeing with you.

"And the L word, of course" you add, making Emily laugh.

“Sounds perfect,” she replies, her smile brightening the room, making it feel less like a space filled with boxes and more like your own little world, where everything was just right.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[caileeflavoured]

one heart broke, four hands bloody

tyler harrison x fem!reader, bjorn x fem!reader

© caileeflavoured 2024, do not repost, modify or translate!

synopsis: A secret revealed in a moment of danger does more than just save lives.

a/n: this took forever cause it's been forever since i last wrote but how could i pass up this opportunity of writing a love triangle kinda thing for one of my fave horror movie franchises (and two perfect hunks)? also, please appreciate that i rewatched the scene where kay is stuck like 100 times to get the dialogue accurate

warnings: ANGST, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion (your body your choice guys!), no one's chest got burst open and everyone survives, yay!, mentions of injuries

wc: 2.7k

MAIN MASTERLIST | ALIEN MASTERLIST

“Oh my God, oh my God, Andy, open the door!”You begged them standing on the other side of the door, feeling the presence of the alien behind you. “Open the door!”

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me, look at me!” Tyler tried to get you to focus on him from the other side. “It’s alright, we're gonna get you out.”

He turned to Andy, telling him repeatedly to open the door, as did Rain.

But she noticed first that Andy did not make a move to unlock the door. “What are you doing?”

Tyler kept his eyes on you. “Don’t look over there, look at me.”

You noticed something was going on. What, you had no idea. Fear was coursing through your veins as you sobbed. “Tyler, what’s wrong?”

“Andy,” Rain looked at her brother intently, her hands gripping his arms. “I need you to open that door right now, okay?”

“That’s what the creature is waiting for us to do,” he explained in an unusually calm voice.

“No! What the fuck, Andy, open the door!” Tyler shouted over to the synthetic, trying to somehow change his mind.

“If I opened that door, we would all die,” Andy concluded in an almost detached manner.

“Andy, please, please, I’m begging you,” Rain pleaded with him, her hands planted firmly on his shoulders. “She’s pregnant! Andy, come on!”

Tyler’s gaze immediately shot to the two siblings, then back to you, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Fuck!!” He screamed, his fists banging against the glass of the door before he walked over to Andy, getting on his knees as he held onto the synthetic’s hand, crying as he begged him to open the door. 

“Please, Andy, please,” Tyler sobbed. “Don’t let her die, man, please.”

And in a moment of sheer miracle, he didn’t.

The door slid open and you fell into the hallway, right into Tyler’s arms. Everyone pulled you away from the open door as it shut at the last moment, helping you narrowly escape the alien. 

However, there wasn’t much time for you to recover despite the many injuries you have suffered from falling down stairs and platforms, crashing into cold, hart metal. All four of you sprinted along the curved hallway towards the next best hiding place, eventually finding a small, empty office. Andy locked the door behind him while Rain helped you to the desk, shoving the clutter off of it.

“Fucking hell, Andy!” Tyler shoved the synthetic. “How could you risk letting her—“ 

“Tyler,” Rain warned him, looking over her shoulder as she tended to your injuries. 

He scoffed, running a hand through his hair as he paced through the office, visibly trying to calm himself down. His eyes landed on you, and yours found his, all the physical pain forgotten. All the emotional pain coming back. 

The dam you’ve been building so carefully now broken beyond repair, and all the water flooding back in. Nausea was rushing through your body when his voice turned to you

“When were you gonna tell me?” He echoed from the furthest corner of the office.

“I do not think this is the time to be having such a conversation,” Andy instantly stepped in, blocking him from your view. “Calm down, Tyler. And let her calm down, too.”

But with your throat constricted, you had no way of saying anything. Not even to Rain as she sent you a compassionate look that said ‘I am so sorry.’

“How bad is it?” You asked her to deflect from the commotion on the other side of the office.

“Pretty tough bruising, but I don’t see any broken bones,” she noted. “You think you can make it back to the Corbelan on foot?”

You swallowed hard, letting out a deep, compressed breath in an attempt to calm your nerves just enough to remain level-headed. At least for the moment. You gave her a nod, which she acknowledged with a small smile.

“You got this,” Rain said, though you didn’t know what exactly she meant. Only felt that she probably wasn’t referring to your bruises. 

⋆𖤓⋆ 

Back on the Corbelan, the rest of the crew all let out relieved sighs at the sight of their unscathed friends. “Oh, thank God you’re safe,” Kay let out a breath she'd seemingly been holding ever since you left the space ship. “We should get you to med bay just to be sure you’re all okay.”

It wasn’t more than a good amount of bruises for all of you, and trauma for the rest of your lives, but everyone made it out alive, and was ready to leave, which was the only thing that mattered right now.

“We’ll take care of everything at home, and then we’re out of there for good,” Tyler announced, and Rain nodded in agreement. 

“I’ll set course for Jackson’s Star,” Navarro said and left for the cockpit. 

“Come on guys, let’s get buckled in for the ride,” Rain said, pushing everyone else out of the exam room. Everyone except for you and Tyler. She gave you one last apologetic look before mouthing the word ‘talk’ and walking off.

With everyone gone to the cockpit, leaving you and Tyler in med bay, the room suddenly felt a lot less comfortable than it already did by default.

His stare was ice-cold, his arms crossed in front of his chest, moving up and down with each deep breath that filled his lungs and calmed his nerves. You knew this look, you’ve seen it enough times.

“I just can’t do it anymore,” his British accent bounced off the walls of the trailer.

“What are you talking about?” You asked. A beat. No reaction. “Tyler!?”

The silence sucked all the oxygen from the small mobile home, leaving you nearly gasping for air as the first wave of nausea engulfed you. The final telling sign that this is where it ends.

“This!” He spat, arms spread as he gestured around the room. “This whole me and you thing!”

But words failed you, and the silence gave him courage.

"This hasn’t been going well for months, and you know it. We keep pretending that everything’s fine, that somehow everything will magically get better once we do this, once we do that, but it won’t. I can’t fix this. I can’t fix us. I’m just trying to survive here, trying to make it through another day without losing my mind. And your expectations, your— your… plans and hopes and dreams, they’re just… exhausting. This is exhausting.”

⋆𖤓⋆

His arms had been the ones to hold you tight all night long as you broke down once and for all. His thumbs had been the ones to wipe away your tears despite them already having formed into an endless stream of salty liquid. His ears had been the ones to listen to your heartbroken attempts at understanding how he could so suddenly throw it all away when he’d been the one to promise you over and over again that he would rather die than live a life without you.

And his mouth had been the one to shut you up and make you forget about everything. Even if just for the night.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you said as you got up into a sitting position, pulling your shirt back down and crossing your arms in front of your stomach as if hiding it from him. As if doing that will save you from having to deal with the implications of a small human being growing inside of you.

“How am I looking at you?” Tyler retorted in a hissy tone. 

“You know exactly how you’re looking.”

He uncrossed his arms, letting them fall to his sides in a dramatic gesture of annoyance as his eyes glanced around the room, then back at you.

“Well, care to have a conversation now?” He asked expectantly.

You huffed. “I don’t know why I should.”

“Uhm, well, I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Maybe because you’re pregnant and didn’t tell me.”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Tyler.”

“Oh, so you suddenly forgot how babies are made?”

“Haha, so funny,” you said with a stern look on your face, cocking your head to the side. “Patronising as ever.”

“So what?” He huffed in response. You were just gonna get rid of it? My child! Make that decision for both of us?”

“Who the hell said it’s yours, huh?” You snapped, the pain turning into anger and frustration.

“Yeah, cause there are plenty guys to choose from on the colony,” he scoffed, a pained grin on his lips.

That shut you up. You looked to the side as if avoiding his eyes would take the rising feeling of guilt away. As if it would undo what you did.

“You know what? You’ll never change,” he mumbled, turning around and storming off. 

On his way out of med bay, his shoulder bumped into that of his cousin. Annoyed at everything and everyone, he shoved him against the wall. “Get out of my fucking face, mate!”

You wanted to follow him, not giving him the satisfaction of blaming everything on you and then leaving you in silence. But upon rushing after him — or, attempting to — a sharp pain jolted through the side of your body, forcing you to stay behind after all.

“Fuck!” You hissed, then shouting after him before he disappeared into the hallway. “You’re one to talk, Tyler!”

It hadn’t been just one night.

It had become a habit. A nasty, disgraceful habit that left you ashamed of yourself, of what you’d become.

Of what he’d turned you into.

“We have to stop,” you said as you sat on the edge of the bed, turning your back to his laying frame on the other side. 

“What’cha mean?” He asked, his voice rough. 

“I mean exactly what I said,” you huffed. “This,” you gestured between him and yourself, “is not okay. We can’t keep doing this.”

“Come on, don’t— Let’s not have this conversation, alright? Don’t make this complicated when it doesn’t have to be,” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“He’s your cousin!” You cried out. “And my ex! How is that not complicated?” 

You jumped up from the bed, hastily putting on your shorts and tee, ignoring your discarded underwear as you made for the door of his trailer, slipping on your shoes, and storming off without another word.

“You’ll come back anyways, luv. Just like you always do,” he shouted after you before you slammed the door to the trailer shut.

“You alright?” Bjorn held onto you before you stumbled. 

“Yes!” You hissed, aggressively pulling your arms back. “I’m fine. Just fine.”

A chuckle rumbled from his chest. “God dammit, is everyone on this bloody ship on their period or what.”

“Just shut the fuck up, Bjorn!” You near-shouted. “Not everything’s a fucking joke.”

Despite the pain in your side, and the inability to storm off, you made for the door when, suddenly. his hand grabbed your wrist, pulling you back forcefully. You landed in his arms, chest to chest, face to face, your eyes pulling each other in like they did that one fateful night.

“Kinda tragic you always end up in my arms when he fucks up,” Bjorn mentioned. “Always me who has to pick up the pieces.”

“Let me go, Bjorn,” you said, your voice calm despite.

“Only if you tell me what that was about,” he motioned towards the hallway where Tyler had just disappeared.

“Nothing,” you replied shortly. 

He tsked, shaking his head. “Still the avoidant type.” His grip on your arms loosened, yet he moved closer to you, his lips grazed the shell of your ear.

“If only you were as open as your legs were two weeks ago,” his whispery voice echoed through your entire body.

“Oh, fuck off!” You hissed, shoving him back which did not amount to much because a) he was too strong for you and b) the sharp pain shooting through your side held you back. 

“Hey, sorry to interrupt you guys, but we wanna leave,” Kay timidly walked into med bay, letting the two of you know you needed to come to the cockpit.

⋆𖤓⋆

“Did something happen on the ship?” Kay asked, clearly having to force herself to bring up the topic that surely was on everyone’s mind at this moment. “I don’t know, there’s just this… this weird vibe ever since you guys came back.”

What followed was an even more awkward silence than before. Half of the crew didn’t know what to say, and the other half didn’t want to risk accidentally revealing one secret or the other. 

Tyler’s eyes landed on you, his gaze still dominated by that look of vexation and resentment. Bjorn looked from you to Tyler and back again, ultimately deciding to just stare at the ground. 

Like the rest of the crew.

“Great. Now you’re not even saying anything,” Kay tried again. “Which proves my point by the way.”

The oppressive silence was a clear admission of your guilt, and gave her trust to keep digging.

“Tyler? Care to explain what happened?” She turned to her brother. “Cause I know damn well something did happen on that ship.”

“Why don’t you start with the person who’s clearly the cause of it all,” he hissed, blaming you so aggressively you had trouble keeping your composure.

“Me?” You scoffed.

“Yeah, obviously,” he hissed.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, shaking your head. “Oh, that’s rich, coming from you.”

“You stop acting all high and mighty, alright?” He raised his voice, so you did too.

“What happened to the guy who fell to his knees begging Andy to save my life in there, huh? Where did he go? Why did he do such a 180?”

“You know exactly why,” he scoffed, shaking his head.

“I know,” you retorted, “but I’m asking why you think that.”

He shrugged, and you kept shouting at each other, a constant stream of accusations and insults bouncing off the metal walls of the Corbelan.

“I’m my own person, I don’t need to fill you in about every single thing that happens in my life,” you fumed.

“Ah, yes, here we go again.”

“What?”

“Your whole ‘none of your business’ attitude,” he mocked. “Like no one’s involved in this, eh?”

“Yeah, because this has nothing to do with the mission!” You yelled, your tone gaining a desperate edge, just wanting him to drop it altogether.

“Course not,” he laughed. “Cause the mission’s not putting you in danger. Or the baby.”

But of course things always had dire consequences for you. The two lines looked up at you from beside the sink like the insides of a snake’s eye. Like they were a mirrored image of what you had become.

“You alright in there?” Rain’s voice sounded from outside the bathroom. 

“Uhh… Yeah, yeah, all good,” you reassured, and before she could say anything else, let alone do something, you stormed out of the room, bumping right into her.

“Oof— You had me scared there for a second,” she admitted with a tense chuckle, but you immediately played it down.

“You know how it is… Girl stuff. Such pain in the ass.”

A set of blue eyes immediately shot up from beside you. You could feel his stare on you, switching from your face to your stomach, burning into your skin.

“Tyler,” Rain said, her voice with an edge of disappointment. 

“What?” He exclaimed, gesturing with his arms held out in front of his body and his shoulders raised.

“Yeah, really not cool, mate,” Bjorn agreed. 

The fact that even Bjorn started defending you when he’d always been the shit stirrer of the group spoke volumes. And did not go unnoticed by Tyler.

“You,” he pointed at his cousin. “Don’t even start. None of your goddamn business!”

“Oh, really?” He accepted the challenge. “‘Cause you made it my business, mate.”

“Bjorn, don’t,” you warned, shooting him an alarming glare.

“No, no, no, he needs to hear this,” Bjorn stopped you. “You know what your girl did the night you dumped her like some piece of rubbish? You wanna know?”

“Bjorn!” You snapped, but he wouldn’t listen.

“You wanna know whose name she screamed that night?”

But Bjorn didn’t have to say more when Tyler already lunged at him.

[bamsywrites]

And Comes Dawn part vi

Ships: sauron/halbrand x reader, Galadriel x Halbrand, galadriel and reader DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER AT ALL (yet), reader x ?????

Summary: some unwanted feelings bubble to the surface.

Tags: angst ish, reader gets mad, insecurities, the love triangles are officially starting, saurons pov next part is gonna be intense after some of this stuff.

Notes: this one might be meh, I wasn't able to edit much and my mind is kinda mush. The secret third ship is revealed. I'm also adding too, extending, and overall changing some of the numenor stuff. Again it's my fanfiction, I can do what I want

It wasn't long before bright light filled the room, you and your companions heading to the deck of the ship. You squinted as your eyes adjusted to the bright light of the sun and the blue of the sky. You saw the ship captain and spoke before anyone else, “Thank you, sir.

He nodded simply in a silent acceptance of your words, his attention turning to Galadriel. The two exchanged words, and you were resisting the urge to roll your eyes. You didn't like the elf. She seemed to think herself better and more worthy of sorrow. You could tell she looked down on you, fueling anger inside your stomach. Anger and annoyance were both feelings that you avoided at all costs. Your father's anger had been great and tragic. You didn't want to tempt the fates by letting your own go unchecked. This elf made it hard to feel anything but those feelings.

“Nearly where?” Halbrand asked, his voice was what brought you from your thoughts, he was trying to get an answer as to where they were going.

“Home,” the ship captain answered.

“Well that tells me fuck all,” he said softly so only your ears could hear.

“Halbrand.” You gave him a look.

“Sweet one,” he teased, returning the look.

Before you could reply, the words dried on your lips as you saw great stone faces carved into rock in stunning detail. You moved closer to the edge to get a better look. The hard work and detail on the face of the mountain was incredible. You were even more stunned by the giant carving above the city, almost as though it was watching over and protecting the city beneath.

“I've never seen anything like this,” you whispered softly.

“What is this place?” Halbrand asked Galadriel.

“There's only one place it could be, the island kingdom of Númenor.”

-

You looked at the buildings, the architecture, the people. It was all fascinating, as if there was no poverty or hunger. The buildings were gorgeous, breathtaking in the ways they were built, and you'd never imagined anything like this in your wildest dreams. A small part of you began to hope that you could stay here and not return home.

“I never imagined a man like me could build a kingdom like this.”

“Because these aren't men like you, your ancestors sided with Morgoth. Theirs sided with the elves, and the Valar blessed them for it. Though elves have not been welcomed on these shores for many years.”

“I wonder why someone would choose to deny you entry into their city,” the words dripped with sarcasm as they slipped past your lips before you could stop them.

A bark-like laugh filled the air before Halbrand stopped himself, clearing his throat and wiping at his mouth to hide his smile.

“Perhaps you wonder, but I know why you'd be denied entry,” Galadriel had stopped to look at you, as if daring you to say something more.

“My reasons are but one, and it is for someone else's sins. Yours would be for being an arrogant, insufferable..-”

“Let's keep going, shall we,” Halbrand placed a hand on your shoulder, and Galadriel opened her mouth to say more when the ship captain hurried them along.

When she was a few steps ahead of you. Halbrand started laughing again, softer this time. “Perhaps, sweet one doesn't suit you well after all.”

You huffed a sigh, “I should not have said that, I know.”

“I will forever sit and ponder how you were going to end that sentence,” he teased with a twinkle to his eye.

Butterflies stirred in your stomach as you looked back up into his eyes, a hint of a smile pulling at your lips.

“You must promise me, sweet one, not to provoke the angry elf. Can you do that?”

You nodded, but he cocked an eyebrow. “Use your words,” his voice was soft and a little husky as if he might have been enjoying this exchange more than he let on, “I want to hear you say it.”

“Halbrand, I promise not to provoke the angry elf,” you said in all but a whisper.

“Good girl,” he pressed a kiss to the top of your head before continuing the journey.

~

“If blood is the price to pay to leave this place, I will pay it.”

You noticed the guards moving closer, your eyes darting to the queen for her response to this threat. Galadriel was going to get you killed at this rate. Without thinking, your hand found Halbrands, lacing your fingers with his, and he squeezed your hand as if to reassure you before he spoke.

He was very well spoken, very convincing. He could command the attention of all in the room with his words. It was impressive, and in the end, they granted you 3 weeks. You hated the sense of satisfaction you had felt when they mocked Galadriel. You were sure there was a reason she was the way she was, but thinking she's better than the mortal races or more entitled to grief would never cease to fill you with anger.

“You were rather good at that,” you turned to Halbrand with a relieved smile on your face.

“Just be glad I'm not your enemy,” he responded with a wink, squeezing your hand that was still tangled with his before he followed the elf.

You found the ship captain once more, “I would like to offer my most sincere thanks. I will forever be in your debt.”

He smiled softly at you, looking at you as only a father could. “I did what was right. I am glad you will find some respite in our great city. If you are to need anything, I have a daughter about your age and I'm sure she has dress and other niceties to spare. Take these, though,” he placed some coins in your hands, “to aid you in whatever ways you may need.”

“I appreciate that very much.” He was a good man, you could tell it. Of good heart and strong character. He had dismissed himself politely, and you looked for your companions.

Your eyes landed on them atop the stairs. You didn't know what they were talking about but they were close. He seemed to be earnestly defending something, you knew not what, and she seemed to be arguing against it. Just as the conversation seemed to be closing, you saw as he pulled her closer to him with that smirk and sparkle in his eyes and suddenly it all came crashing down on you.

What if you weren't special? What if you read too much into it? What if he was like this with everyone?

Or perhaps you were special, but she was just more than anything you could be. She was a beautiful elf, a commander of armies, and what were you?

The daughter of a disgraced mass murder who had yet to do anything of significance.

Your lip started trembling. Perhaps you were too sensitive, but it felt as if your heart was breaking. Did you really have such strong feelings after a week? Perhaps you had been more interested in him. Perhaps you'd allowed your feelings to become too intense when his had not. And perhaps you only thought he'd been looking that way at you.

You found your feet carrying you outside of the palace. You weren't the one that was confined to the grounds, and there was no reason for you to stay. You thought you heard a voice calling after you, but you did not care. You wanted away and to be on your own to think. To figure out what you want for the future. To figure out your feelings to figure out your plans for the next 3 weeks.

~

You sat on a bench in some courtyard, eyes watching as the sun dipped below the waves. It was nice to watch, a beautiful sight, especially now that night didn't bring worries of being cold or being attacked. For the first time in what seemed forever, you would have a place to sleep that wasn't rocking back and forth. Your stomach was growling. It was starting to gnaw at your stomach, but you didn't want to get the stares from the locals. You knew you weren't entirely welcome. So, instead, you sat and watched the sunset until it made its way beneath the waves, and the only light was that of the fires and torches. Your eyes wondered, examining the amazing architecture. It's what you had been doing all day as a way to avoid the insecurities in your head and heart.

A group of boys about your age had drawn your attention,their laughter was boisterous and almost contagious. You were reminded of what little pleasures you'd lost due to the orc attacks; laughing with friends was one of them. You were grateful to see it amongst others and know that it still exists. You must have caught one of their attention somehow because he excused himself, telling his friends to go on without him before coming to sit with you.

“I…sorry I didn't mean to pull you away from your group. I'm just…”

“You're one of the newcomers. One of 3 that arrived today, yes?” He asked curiously, and you nodded.

“You match the description that was given. You seem a little lost," He smiled warmly at you. It was genuine, you could tell. He wanted to help you if you were to need it.

“I am, I admit, but I've enjoyed getting lost here. Your home is gorgeous. We don't have architecture anywhere near this in my homeland, the Southlands. It's remarkable.”

He chuckled softly, looking around him, “This isn't even the best the city has to offer.”

“That is impossible.”

He laughed again, shaking his head. “It is entirely possible, I assure you.”

You couldn't help but smile. He was full of energy, but at the same time, it was calming. It was easy to talk to him because he felt relaxed and relatable.

“There must be art and architecture where you're from. There has to be.”

You shook your head, “not like it is here. It would be like comparing a master swordsman to children whacking each other with sticks. We have wood carvings and some words engraved in stone but nothing like a whole, giant person carved in stone. Our cities are just wood or brick. It's not carved out like this. This is all incredible.”

“There has to be beauty, though,” he pressed his tongue into his cheek as if he wanted to say something else. “I have a lot of questions about your home. I've never left this island."

“There is beauty, yes. In the trees, in the green of the grass. In autumn, the trees turn red and orange, and they look beautiful at dusk.”

“So, there's beauty in the trees, in the leaves, in the women…” he watched you for a moment. You couldn't help but giggle at the comment.

“That was horrible, wasn't it?” He asked, looking down at his hands but laughing softly as he did.

“A little bit, but the compliment is very appreciated,” You stopped giggling and placed a hand on his knee.

“It sounded so much more clever in my head,” he chuckled with a shake of his head.

“My name’s Isildur. My father was the ship captain who saved you. I would like to buy you dinner as a way to say sorry for that horrendous comment I just made. "

You gave him your name with a large grin that made your cheeks hurt, “And I would love that, as long as you promise to tell me more about your kingdom.”

“It's a deal.”

[theemporium]

cece how abooout the rest of the marauders finding out that you're with poly!wolfstar :c ??? and reader is a potter— james’ twin sister ??

thank you for requesting!🖤

.

It wasn’t that you didn’t believe your friends would be happy for you, because you knew they would.

Despite the social anomaly of your relationship with both boys, you knew that nobody—at least from the group of people you care about—-would be anything but immensely happy for you. There was always a weird tension between you, Sirius and Remus and, if anything, your relationship solved what you were sure they were expecting to be a very messy love triangle. 

However, the reason you had been keeping your relationship private wasn’t in fear of what they would say, it was because of your brother. 

You loved James. You truly did and you would never change him for the world. Well, you wouldn’t change almost anything about him because if your brother had one flaw, it was his dramatic flare. 

Everything about James Potter was bigger: his ego, his love, his emotional instability the second things changed. You know if he found out his sister was not only dating one of his best friends but both, it would only end in James blowing his top off. 

So, you kept it a secret from everyone. Zero risk of anyone accidentally spilling the beans, and zero risk of your brother weaselling it out of someone. 

To the world, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were happily together. Just the two of them, totally in love and totally not hiding a secret girlfriend. 

You didn’t mind all that much because you loved them, and you liked that they could at least be with each other around others. Plus, the sneaking around wasn’t all that bad—if anything, it was quite hot. 

“Fuck me,” you sighed out, eyes falling shut as you felt his lips travel down the column of your neck. 

“That’s the plan, sweetheart,” Sirius murmured in amusement, his hands sneaking under the hem of your sweater—well, Remus’ sweater you had nicked earlier that week. 

“Do something then,” you huffed out, hands fisted in the material of his shirt that you were promoting him to pull over his head. 

“So impatient,” he mused and you could feel the smug bastard’s smirk against your skin. “Relax, baby, gonna make you feel so—”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Your heads snapped to the sides, eyes widened when you saw your brother standing in the doorway. He looked between you and his best friend, a large range of emotions flashing in his eyes as he gaped at the sight in front of him.

“But you—and—wait, how—HOW COULD YOU BOTH DO THIS?” James spluttered out, accusatory finger pointed between you both. 

“James–” you started but he quickly interrupted. 

“He’s my best friend!” James exclaimed.

“Mate–” Sirius opened his mouth but didn’t get very far.

“And she’s my sister!” James continued. 

“I know but—”

“OH MERLIN, WHAT ABOUT MOONY!” James gasped, his face pale as he looked at you both with a face of betrayal. “How could you both do this to him?”

Sirius frowned. “What?” 

“I thought you loved him, Sirius,” James said with a shake of his head. 

“I do,” Sirius said.

“How could you cheat on him with my sister?” James snapped before looking at you, almost looking like a disappointed dad. “And how could you? You knew they were together—”

“James, we can explain,” you sighed, lightly slapping Sirius’ chest as he tried to press his lips together as he pieced together just what James thought.

“This is going to break him,” James sighed sadly, shaking his head.

“Break who?” 

James let out a noise of surprise, whirling around to find Remus standing right behind him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he noticed the flustered state of his friend. His eyes moved to the bed behind him, seeing you and Sirius sat there, both looking more amused and sheepish than anything. 

“What’s going on here?” Remus asked, glancing between you two only to realise neither one of you were going to give him an answer. He then looked at James, eyebrows raised in question.

“Mate, I…look, I don’t…it’s just…” James stuttered out, brows drawn together as he tried to blurt out what he couldn’t quite believe himself either. Sirius, however, finally took pity on the boy and spoke up.

“Prongs caught me snogging his sister,” Sirius said, not bothering to hide the smirk on his face even when you jabbed him lightly in the ribs. 

“Ah, I see,” Remus hummed.

James placed a hand on his shoulder, a strained expression on his face. “It’s okay to cry.” 

Remus bit back his smile. “Why would I cry over my boyfriend and girlfriend snogging?” 

“Because—” James paused, lips parting as he processed what Remus had just said. He blinked. And then he blinked again, yet no words came out of his mouth.

“I think you broke him, Moony,” Sirius mused with a snort.

“Well, he was gonna find out anyways,” you murmured as you stood from the bed, fixing the sweater you were wearing before lightly shoving your brother towards the door. “I’ll talk to him.” 

Sirius pouted. “Boo, we were just having fun.” 

You shot him a look. “Keep yourself entertained, Black.”

“I don’t need to when Moony is here,” he grinned, lying back on the bed with his hands tucked under his head.

Remus snorted. “I have an essay to write.”

“This is just cruel!” 

You shook your head in amusement at your boys before you left the room, dragging James with you who still looked stunned by the whole thing. He had reached halfway down the hall before he finally snapped back to reality.

“YOU STOLE BOTH MY BEST FRIENDS FROM ME?!”

“Merlin, James, stop being so dramatic.”

.

[takes1]

I'm gonna start by saying that your fics are amazing! I love the way you write and I always get immersed in them. I would like to request an Osamu x reader fic, i was thinking about a childhood friends pining for a decade!au happening while working in his Onigiri shop, you might add Suna if you want,perhaps as a love triangle and misunderstandings as in Osamu thinking that the reader like Suna. As for the smut, I'll leave that to you 👀

thank you so much for supporting!! i love getting these requests and hearing from you! it really helps. not gonna lie, this one challenged me, but i think it turned out well! hope i got this right :) thanks again for the request love

warnings. lite!nsfw. minors DNI info. hq lite!nsfw / safe consent practices / mutual pining / some angst, some hurt, but pay-off / husband material!osamu / timeskip!osamu / childhood friends to lovers / miscommunication / r.i.p suna's unrequited feelings / misunderstandings / osamu gives great hugs / osamu is a wine snob / osamu is a little shy / 2.5k words 🤍haikyuu collection. more of my hq here more links. my ao3 / masterlist / request box is open so give me some ideas pls!

Your heart gave an all-too familiar squeeze at the sight of an old friend.

There he was, clad in a black cap, apron, and a well-fitting shirt. His face was one of slight concentration, his mouth in a straight line, jaw flexed. A strong arm lifted the black bag he carried high into the trash in the alley with ease.

"'Samu!" His nickname was like a sigh of reassurance on your tongue.

He turned, a stern face letting up as soon as he recognized you coming towards him. He quickly discarded his gloves in the trash and made forward to meet you. It ended in a hug in the middle of the sidewalk.

Business was so slow today, he really wasn't expecting any surprises- especially not any pleasant ones.

"(Y/n)." Was a mumble against your hair, charged relief on his breath. He was lifting you off of your feet and melting into you at the same time.

Your eyes stung a little when you tucked your face into his comforting shoulder. It'd been so long since graduation, but everything was coming back to you, all at once, against your will.

Maybe it was because you could still taste the onigiri you just finished, but those lunches he used to prepare for you kept cropping up. You weren't sure why it kept making you want to cry, though.

"I missed you!" You whispered, swallowing a sob.

He gave you a crushing squeeze in return. He certainly hadn't stopped working out since your high school days. There was a hesitation in letting each other go.

"God," His quick blinking made you feel better for getting emotional, "What are you doin' all the way out here?"

You sniffled and turned to Suna, briefly forgotten at the table, "I told you those fillings tasted familiar!"

There was an unmistakable shock in Osamu's eyes when you turned back to him, "We were just grabbing lunch. I had no idea 'Onigiri Miya' would actually mean you!"

He missed the natural beat to respond- instead of letting your declaration die, you kept up the attempt to rekindle things.

"Did you get a new number?" You asked, quieter, trying to catch his eye, so you leaned your head further between him and Suna.

He looked down at you with a much softer expression, "Hm?"

"I- texted you a couple months ago, I just assumed you got a- new number," You trailed.

It felt a bit forced and loser-esque to ask the reason why he hadn't texted you back. Two months was a while to get 'caught up' in something, after all.

If he didn't want to talk to you, he technically didn't owe you an explanation.

He blinked. It didn't cross his mind that you would've texted him-- his fingers fumbled for his phone in his pocket to show you a new iPhone.

"Yeah," He sighed, "Shit, I didn't think to tell anyone but 'Sumu..."

This time, he felt like the loser. He didn't have many people to text, nowadays. But he certainly didn't want you and Suna to know that.

Relief flashed across your face as you admitted in a light laugh, "Oh, thank god. I really thought you were ignoring me!"

"Let's all exchange numbers," You suggested.

You looked back to Suna and thought you saw some hostility in his eyes, "So we can all meet up sometime, when you're not working."

The process of getting each other's contacts was quiet and stilted. You thought better of making plans here and now, because there was an indescribable feeling that something was wrong.

Maybe the timing.

Osamu frowned at his phone after getting it back from Suna.

Maybe the place.

Suna gave a subtle sigh when Osamu put his number in.

Your text to Osamu that night garnered a response so quick that it made up for the months of uncertainty and pseudo-grieving. Your oldest friendship was not buried as deep in the ground as you had previously thought.

It ended in a suggestion you weren't expecting.

There was nowhere you both wanted to eat at, and no activities you could think of that would allow for the long conversations you both favored.

I could cook for us.

You knew better than to deny him the chance to cook, but it was clear to both of you that it felt a little too forward. A little too intimate for just two good friends.

That wasn't enough to keep you from agreeing immediately.

Certain that he didn't feel the same, you rationalized that you had nothing to worry about.

Dark red swirled slow, unending circles in your glass. You weren't one for red, but he brought out a vintage just for you tonight.

The perfectly plated dinner in front of you didn't last long. Osamu made it so easy to like foods you swore up and down you hated; you didn't question his choices despite your usual pickiness.

There were a number of times you had to pretend not to notice him watching you eat. He was pretty obvious, because he'd raise his spoon full of food, then let it hover mid-air, and turn his whole head to watch you chew. It was as if he was waiting for you to declare it was the worst thing you'd ever tasted.

He was still working on his -most likely cold- plate minutes after you cleaned yours off. It left you to catch up to him in glasses of wine. The bottle was nearing empty and you were still on your first.

"Do you have any roommates?" You asked, glancing around a spacious apartment.

It was so still. You'd surely die of loneliness, if you were him.

He shook his head. It made sense with his preference for solitude, but it still made you sit back and sip on your wine to keep from voicing your concern.

"It's quiet," Osamu wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his plate forward, "I know."

Was your discomfort that obvious?

His chuckling won out over your insistence that it wasn't that bad, and you eventually were resolved back to slouching in your chair again.

"You just need some- flowers," You motioned to the center of the table, not believing in your advice in the slightest, "Or... something like that."

"To be fair, I never sit at the table."

He poured the last of the wine into his glass. You stared down at yours. He still spoke and acted stone-cold sober. You had to wonder how much he drank, with this bleak living space.

"Not a fan of Merlot?"

This was getting a little embarrassing.

This time, you gave in, "Not feeling this one as much."

His brow raised. He had a layered expression, like he was torn between two sides of himself for a split-second.

He eased up and slid his elbows on the table, wine glass looking absurdly tiny in his hand.

You admired the gentle way he held the delicate glass, how he knew just how the weight was supposed to be distributed in the webs of his fingers.

"You drink wine much?" He had that completely immersed look on his face that was always so difficult to return.

He mistook your trouble to return his gaze as discomfort, and laughed, retracting his body from the table, "I-'m sorry--,"

"No-no it's okay-!" You put your hand on his arm and scooted your chair closer to affirm that you didn't mind his proximity -that you in fact welcomed it- and rambled, "I- don't, drink wine like that. So I- wouldn't really know what's good."

His gaze sent a shiver surging through your whole body. What an intense pair of eyes. He leaned forward on his elbows, thumb rubbing his freshly shaved cheek.

"It's an expensive hobby."

You were wracking up inappropriate questions by the second. First, the lack of love in his sad apartment, then his potential alcohol issues, now his salary.

The quiet clink of his glass on the table. A heavy, warm hand stilled yours on his arm, and he caught your troubled gaze.

"But it's just a hobby," He smiled.

The apartment filled with shared laughter. You were getting read like an open book, you couldn't help but cool your face down with the back of your hand.

"I-I promise, I'm not trying to judge," You sighed and grinned at what you noticed as his slightly tipsy giggling, "I just... care about you."

Osamu took a breath to say something, but something else flickered across across his face.

His hand was starting to slip from yours.

"So, you and Suna again?"

You laughed at what you thought was a joke. He didn't return it; instead, he let go and took another big sip from his almost empty glass.

"Oh-," You realized he was mistaken, "We're not together."

"Mm!" He swallowed and laughed, "Oh- that's good."

His focus faltered with a small cough, "I mean, not good, but-,"

"That's not something I want to go back to," You saved his embarrassing admission gracefully and looked away, only thinking about that short-lived relationship in high school.

Suna was just a distraction. A temporary filler for your unbearable emptiness. You never stopped loving Osamu, even when you had everyone else fooled. In the end, Suna just made you miss your friend more, since it sparked an unspoken drift in the process. It wasn't one of your brightest moments.

The look on his face was asking for more information. A 'So... why?' was on the tip of his tongue. You saved him the breath.

"He reached out. I was free, and I wanted to make sure we were alright after things ended like that."

Osamu nodded slowly, swirling half a sip of wine in his glass with careful consideration.

"You talk about it like you never liked him," He sighed against the rim, then shot it back in a way that made you realize why he was drinking so much.

He didn't have the courage to talk to you like this without it.

Your thumb, still resting on his forearm, rubbed thoughtfully. If he was being this candid through his actions, you didn't mind coming clean about a few things.

"I didn't," You admitted in a breathy half-laugh, "It wasn't real to me."

You shut your eyes tight and seethed, "I know that sounds so cruel--,"

"Yeah," He chuckled.

"Okay- I meant it like..." Your thumb was tapping on his raised skin, "I needed a distraction. You know I was struggling. He really was sweet. I know I should've treated him better."

It was clear that there was no hero to the story. You were all flawed, to some degree. Osamu's hand returned to yours. This time, he squeezed.

"You know I don't judge you for that."

All things considered, that break-up was still fresh. It was only briefly before your graduation date.

"Hey-," He reached up to turn your head towards him. It was a bit much and left you both warm and fidgety, "You know that I know that you're a good person."

His hand fell to your forearm.

It was fleeting, but you felt an energy between you. It was different. It filled that space in your heart you'd long since carved out for him.

Fleeting must be reiterated, because it was gone in an instant as he cleared his throat and stood, collecting the dishes in one trip with skill you could only attribute to the nature of his work.

You chugged the rest of your wine with a shudder so it wouldn't go to waste and skittered after his swift movement towards the kitchen.

If there was any place in the house that didn't feel lifeless, it was the kitchen. Spacious and clean, sure, but every tool and appliance here was cared for and used often.

It distracted you to slow down.

There was a level of respect you felt was necessary for a space so important to Osamu.

He began washing the dishes.

"Please let me do something," You begged from behind him.

All you got was a stoic head shake.

You leaned on the countertop behind him, staring at his back in that clean, black shirt. Would you ever get over him?

His words and actions from tonight turned over in your head. That hug you shared yesterday afternoon made your hands slip from the counter.

It may have been the wine that inspired your resolve to actually follow through, but your motivation did have years of pent-up desire behind it.

His body stiffened at the feeling of your arms around his waist, the side of your face pressed against his warm back. He smelled like a woody, musky cologne.

"Thank you," You muttered, mostly for his kind words, but its roots extended much farther than just recent events.

The sound of the water shutting off encouraged you to loosen your grip. The doubt started settling in as he dried his hands with a hanging towel, wordless.

His hands just barely grazed yours as you retracted, heart racing at the fact that you couldn't take that back.

He turned around to face you. Your eyes were busy avoiding his, so you were taken by surprise when he leaned down to pick you up from the waist.

It was just as easy and comfortable as the first time-- his shoulders spacious enough to bury yourself in, his hold so secure you didn't have to spare any strength holding on. He could support you all day.

A breathy groan, like he was a settling house, brushed your ear and sent tingles down your spine.

He set you down, but guided your arms to stay around his neck. You looked back and forth between his eyes, no longer unsure about his feelings.

"I missed you so much."

He was a clumsy kisser, but you didn't mind.

His hands were skilled and sure. It was more than enough to make up for his hungrier, rather than soft kisses.

One kept you steady by the back of your head, the other taking up your entire shoulder to guide you backwards against the kitchen island.

He rendered you breathless quickly- you pulled away for just a moment and he took it as a good sign to lift you up onto the countertop.

No part of you questioned this intense show of affection-- it felt like a fitting release of years-long tension and unspoken feelings.

They still remained unspoken, for the most part, but it could wait.

His hips pushed hard against your own, eliciting a soft, fluttery sound against his mouth.

He ate it up, wanting another so bad that one hand grabbed at the bend in your hip and thigh to keep you against him.

Your tummy twisted in a mixture of delightful pleasure and desire, everything below your waist all giddy and jittery as his fingers squeezed your hips with a need you never knew he was harboring.

Thighs trembling with nerves, his steady grasp pushing down helped to calm and stall you. You caught your breath with your forehead pressed against his. You unhooked your legs.

"W-hat?" You swallowed, praying to God this wasn't some mistake.

His wine-flushed face answered your question with no response.

"We shouldn't...I'm not--," He bit his cheek at his own restraint, brow tight with regret at his own actions from earlier.

You nodded, a little buzzed yourself, and laughed at his concern, "I'm okay with just kissing."

my masterlist.

requests are open!

[lovelyo]

Season 3 part 2 will be Ass. Let me Tell You Why.

Cause in the end, Penelope, Lady Whistledown, the one who has left devastation in people’s lives will get all what she wants. The man that she wants, the attention that she wants, the family she always wanted to be(so envious of them she talked shit about them ), will get her best friend back, might have the heir for that dumbass Featherington plot line, might get the Queen’s pardon and above all else, will most likely not give up LW cause they made LW such an integral part of the show.(so in that case, she’ll be even more filthy rich)

And if we go by leaked spoilers, it is said that Colin will be mad at Penelope for like 1 episode until Kanthony talks some “sense” into him. So that just tells me Kanthony will be OOC because there’s no damn way Anthony would let that beast comment about his wife slide.

There are no stakes when it comes to this season cause we all know how it’s finna go down. If Penelope gets any type of consequences, then her very undeserved HEA is doomed so everything is going to have to go her way for the already idiotic plot to make some form of sense. It’s like the love triangle in part 1, what the hell was the point of Lord Debling when everyone and their ancestors knew Colin and Penelope were end game? So we can see Colin’s cringe angst? If we already know the answer to the love triangle, there’s no point. The “find you a husband” plot line was stupid as shit anyway, but it’s whatever now.

Ugh, then we have to sit through more awkward love scenes between asshat 1 and 2

Eloise threatening Penelope with her LW identity is going to amount to nothing cause we know Penelope isn’t gonna receive any comeuppance. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they made Eloise apologize to Penelope for…🤷🏾‍♂️🤷(let’s apologize to the toxic friend for not dealing with their toxicity)

For Penelope to have a happy ending, she has to get away scot free and that’s what boils my blood. I hate in media and literature when a character goes around, creates chaos and receives nothing for it or just a slap on a wrist. I’ve noticed an increase in it lately too. Also, I’m tired of writers not severing their bias from their writing. I’ve been encountering many series lately where the writer(s) have favoritism towards a specific character and gives them the easy route, bends the world for them and pull punches just because they like them so much. It’s really aggravating cause you see everyone else getting put through the wringer and then you see the favored character walking through Candyland. It hurts the story, the character, and frankly makes you hate the character.

Everyone around Penelope is gonna act brain dead in order for Penelope to get what she wants and I’m not here for it. Even the general audience ain’t for it. The only people cheering this madness are the asylum patients called Polin fans with delusions that Penelope deserves the world.

I’m not even looking forward to Francesca and John’s story cause of the Poolin fecal matter I’ll have to swim through to get there. At this point, I’m might just watch spoilers of part 2 cause it’s not worth it.

P.S. Watch Cressida get the short end of the stick cause she’s the “bully” of the show and Penelope is the “victim”. Watch them break Creloise because of the “I don’t want you hanging around Eloise” subplot which will ultimately fuel Eloise and Penelope becoming friends again. Also, Penelope and Cressida competed for Lord Debling just for Penelope to go “sike” and marry Colin so she wasted Debling’s time and made Cressida feel like shit because she wasn’t chosen. P.S.S- Polins are huge ass hypocrites cause they ragged on Eloise being privileged and having “everything” but are silent about Penelope being privileged. By the end of this season, Penelope will basically have everything, even more so than Eloise, but sure, Penelope is definitely not privileged 😑. Penelope is privileged inside the world and outside by production, why are we denying this?

[lullabesstie]

Found this comment on Reddit. Couldn’t explain it better than this.

“It’s clear from Mist and Fury that the original ships were: Feysand, Nessian, Elucien, and Mor/Azriel. Like it’s so obvious the way she wrote Mor and Azriel; Mor even seems vaguely interested/torn about Az. Looking at interviews, SJM even talks about Elucien as a couple (eg where would they like to travel together, etc).

Flash forward to ACOWAR. For whatever reason (lack of chemistry with Az, wanting more diversity) SJM has Mor say that she prefers women. This time the Az-pining-for-Mor is more desperate/feels like a zero chance of being requited. SJM also introduces Az as a potential love interest for Elain because she loves throwing a wrench. Just because Elucien are mates doesn’t mean they’ll have it easy; SJM’s whole thing is angst. She had to throw in a love triangle to make it uncertain. This is the first couple where mate status is confirmed upon meeting.

But there’s a problem now. If Az and Mor are no longer endgame, who will they end up with? is it not suspicious that the two new characters introduced in SF (Gwyn and Emerie) just HAPPEN to be potentially be good partners for Az and Mor? Like it’s not a coincidence that Emerie looks at Mor and blushes, remarking how pretty she is. It’s not a coincidence that Az and Gwyn have so many interactions in the text. It’s not a coincidence that a “random side character” shows up in a bonus chapter.

When SJM created Gwyn and Emerie, it wasn’t just to give Nesta friends. These characters clearly didn’t exist when she wrote MAF. SJM wanted new characters that would solve her retcon of ending Az/Mor. She wanted to solve the Mor/Az retcon so bad that she created a NEW RETCON of Az going to Sangravah. Like why bother to add that detail if it’s not important.

Also: poor Lucien. His endgame heroine was supposed to be Nesta until SJM realized they would be terrible together and that Nessian had better chemistry. So she gives Elucien the mating bond. Like is she really going to fuck Lucien over TWICE? She loves him as a character and has put him through the wringer. Yes, I agree that SJM can change her mind and maybe is open to mate rejection, but Lucien has already switched love interests from Nesta to Elain! Who else is he going to switch to, considering that Jurian and Vassa are “at each other’s throats?”

Finally, please think about the number of books left. Ignoring novellas (which are probably gonna be fluffy ones like ACOFAS where nothing happens), there are two main books left. Two couples.

Option A:

• ⁠Gwynriel (Valkyrie growth, Illyrian rebellion, exploring Ramiel, Gwyn’s autumn heritage and maybe lightsinger?? powers)

• ⁠Elucien (Helion secret baby, defeating Koschei, freeing Vassa, fixing spring court)

Option B

• ⁠Elriel (mate rejection storyline, potentially some stuff above)

• ⁠?????

Literally WHO is the second book in this equation? Lucien and Vassa?? We barely know Vassa and there’s barely any connection to Night Court. And Lucien’s book is going to be depressing as fuck dealing with mate rejection; does anyone want to read two heavy books of rejection? Jurian and Vassa: again, we barely know them! At least with Tower of Dawn, Chaol had been a main character for a long time with POV. SJM will not do a full-length Emerie/Mor book as much as I would love for one. She’s very cognizant of criticism re: Mor bi rep in the past; she doesn’t want to open a can of worms and be accused of writing bad sapphic rep. If anything, I can see a fluffy Emerie/Mor novella with little angst (or them getting together in the background of other books).

So from a meta structural level, I don’t understand who the second couple will be if Elriel is endgame. Lucien/Vassa is the most plausible answer, but 1) we barely know Vassa, 2) she’s human and Lucien is immortal. So are we going to toss her into the Cauldron to make her immortal? Serious question, and 3) I don’t want TWO books about mate rejection, it’s depressing as hell. I can see one but not two.

But with Gwynriel and Elucien, you have enormous fan and audience interest in ALL FOUR CHARACTERS. They’re directly tied to Night Court and SJM so far has no intention of staying away from the core group.”

[whore-era]

affinity - part 3

ellie williams x fem!reader

themes: angst, pining, best friends, unrequited love, love triangle, these lesbians finally end up together!!

summary: when ellie's plans to confess her feelings goes sideways.

a/n: last & final part. hope u all enjoy this one <3

word count: 4,559

3/3 | affinity - pt 1 , affinity - pt 2

tag list: @jolieetoile @kyleeservopoulos @ri4starshine @joliettes @machetegirl109 @zoddiachead @kyootsies @blairfox04 @frasersgf @3lliesrifle @freesmbdy134 @tweecunt @aryaharmon @whteflwcrs @kxixc @siesie2 @bigboobslilheart @1ov9r @yookayyo @wandsgale @apxtowiris @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @catostrophiclesbian @champagnelovers101 @s3xymoonman @overtrred28 @daddy-carpenter @elliewilliamsl0ver

“shit! jesse! they’re coming closer!” 

poor sunshine’s legs are pushing as fast as they can against the snow, attempting to lose the horde of runners chasing after you. their screams ringing in your ears, eager to get a taste of any meat they can get their hands on.

“come on! we gotta get back to town and lose ‘em somehow!” jesse yells, his horse, blade, galloping as hard as his gaunt legs can go.

no. there’s no way you’re gonna lead them, these monsters, back to jackson. you’re on patrol for a reason. you’re there to protect. your mind goes to the neighborhood kids, and the sounds of their laughter when they scamper around the playground. your mind goes to mrs. clarkson, and how she’s 8 months along with her firstborn, a girl. your mind goes to mr. and mrs. rodriguez, and how they’ve been together for 52 years and how they start their mornings sitting on their porch and watching the sunrise as they sip on their coffee. your mind goes to the last time you saw ellie, with her lips on yours. you blink back tears, regretting not taking advantage of that moment to tell her you didn’t want ethan, and how you wanted to be with her instead, that you loved her. 

shaking your head, you make the decision to protect the people you love and allow an opportunity for jesse to save himself. 

you tug on sunshine’s lead to the right, “jesse! i’m gonna lead them away! go to back to town, now!” and before the raven-haired boy had any time to protest, you scream as loud as you can. attracting the runners with your voice.

“hey! uglies! over here!” you bellow, the pack of infected runners hot on your trail. looking back, relief washes over you as jesse manages to escape, free of any infected following his tail. 

but you couldn’t help the fear sinking in your stomach, unsure if you would ever see the town of jackson again.

a few hours earlier 

“god, joel. i’m so stupid.” ellie groans, “what if i scared her by kissing her? fuck, i should’ve asked her or something—”

“well, did she look scared?” the southern drawl of his voice questioned, bringing her back to last night’s events.

ellie’s hands were firmly on your waist, her lips pressed against yours, starting off with a slow, tender kiss. you immediately folded, relaxing into her mouth, allowing your lips to part slightly. ellie used the opportunity to slip her tongue into yours, letting you taste the bourbon she was drinking just hours before. 

everything felt so right. your bodies molded into each other perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle. your veins were on fire, relishing in the searing session of her mouth hot on yours. 

you were brought back to earth once you realized you were kissing ellie. you. were. kissing. ellie. 

pulling away from her, your body immediately yearned to be against hers again, but you quickly squashed the urge to smash your lips against hers and bring her back inside your house and rut your cunt against her thi-

“i—” you managed to stutter out, “i h-have patrol in the m-morning.” and you quickly threw yourself inside, slamming your front door shut as you leaned your back against the wood surface.

ellie’s heart was palpating in her chest, nearly popping out of her body. the way your lips felt on hers was a feeling she felt like no other, and she would sell her soul to the devil if it meant she could experience it one more time. 

“uh—no, don’t think so. she was kissing me back in the beginning, before she pulled away and slammed the door in my face,” ellie murmured, gaining a chuckle from her step-dad. 

“well, i’ll be. think you just surprised her, that’s all,” joel reassured her, patting her back. ellie sighed, burying her face in her hands.

“why do feelings have to be complicated?” ellie’s voice comes out all muffled and garbled.

“who said it had t’be?” joel laughed, “look, let me ask you this. what do you feel when you look at her?” 

ellie’s mind drifted to how you looked last night; the glow of the porch light illuminating every feature of your face perfectly — looking like an angel. from the slope of your nose bridge, to the pout of your lips, to the slight glimmer in your eyes — ellie was speechless. her brain went empty, only making space to focus on you.

“i—i don’t know, i just—” a smile mindlessly curls on ellie’s lips as her mind can’t rid of the thought of you. 

“uh oh, you’re in deep.” joel lets out another boisterous laugh, amused at the girl’s puppy-love-like trance, “poor girl’s got you wrapped around her finger.” 

ellie rolled her eyes, “yeah, yeah, whatever, old man.”

sending a quick glare the young girl's way, the older gentleman brought up another question to her attention. “how do you feel when you’re with her?” 

ellie thought for a moment, “well, i’ve known her for years, so i’ve grown to be comfortable around her. i can talk to her about anything without feeling like she’s gonna judge me or some shit. we can do anything together and find a good time out of it all. whenever i’m mad about something that happened on patrol, or i’m sad because of whatever — she’s the first person i wanna talk to. she makes me feel like— like— everything’s gonna be alright,” ellie continued her tangent, “when i’m with her, i get that feeling like when we’re done fighting some runners or something, and we’re full of adrenaline and we’re just so— so proud and relieved.”

ellie takes a breath, “that’s how i feel when i’m with her. and i wanna feel like that all the time.”

joel smiles at the girl before him, as she opens her heart and spills out all the feelings and words she’s accumulated over the years — over one girl. he reminisces on his own love, sarah’s mom, who was his once-in-a-lifetime love. one he’ll never get to experience again, but was lucky to have to remember forever and on.

“see? why y’gotta make it complicated for yourself?” he asks, “just tell her what you told me. easy as that.” 

ellie nodded, knowing that the only way she could truly win you back was, to be honest with you. the girl quickly scurried off to her shed, mapping out an elaborate plan to tell you how she felt and how she could make it memorable. 

“thanks, old man!” she yelled as she ran inside her little shed. 

“no problem!” joel yells, “hey! stay inside, ya’hear? it’s beginning to blizzard out there!” the older man reminded ellie, but she just waved him off. but little did she know, the harsh wind and snow would be the reason why she would be waiting for you to come back home. 

ellie spent the rest of her day off planning a special night for you, filled with reruns of your favorite 90’s sitcom on VHS, your favorite snacks, and your favorite dinner. she was currently headed to the town’s mart, fetching some last minute things to decorate her shed with to make it all pretty for you, just how you like it. 

ellie let out a breath, observing her hot breath turn icy white in the midst of the blizzard. thankfully, the snow wasn’t blowing too hard. opening the door of the mart, she rubbed her boots against the mat, careful not to slip. 

“well, if it isn’t ellie fucking williams?” 

she turns her head, greeted by the short, choppy-haired girl she’d been hoping to avoid. shit, i forgot she worked here. ellie cursed in her thoughts. 

“hi, cat.” ellie said sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck, “good to see you. you look good.” 

“mm, we’re not doing this,” cat snarks, popping a piece of bubblegum, “you haven’t talked to me in like 4 days. what’s up with that, huh?”

ellie sighs, closing her eyes before opening them again. she was screwed. “i just had shit to deal with cat, sorry.”

“like a certain girl you’ve been best friends with for years?”

“how’d you know?”

cat scoffed, “she was glaring at me all night the evening she got plastered at the tipsy bison. thought she was gonna kill me.” 

ellie laughed at the thought of you making a grouchy face at cat. it warmed her heart, knowing her girl had a jealous side to her. 

“yeah— sorry about that. i- uh- should’ve told you about that sooner,” ellie apologizes. she was aware of how shitty of an apology it was, but she wasn’t sure what else to say. 

“mhm, yeah,” cat rolled her eyes, “it’s fine. i saw it coming. we had fun while it lasted, williams.”

“what do you mean?”

“are you really that dense, ellie? everyone in town can see how close you are to each other, and it was just a matter of time before you realized your feelings for her,” cat admitted, putting away some cans on the shelves.

“oh.” was all ellie could say. god, she really was stupid.

“anyways, no hard feelings here. just FYI.”

“yeah, thanks, cat. i appreciate that. wouldn’t blame you if you did harbor any though,” ellie said, beginning her shop throughout the small mart. 

once ellie found all the necessary things she needed, she traded her items and left. the snow was blowing even harder than it was before, causing ellie to check her watch. she had an hour left before you and jesse got back from patrol, giving her all the time she needed to finish setting things up in her shed. 

she hurried back home, and got to work sorting the fairy lights out in her room, hanging them on the edge of the walls and across the ceiling. decorating certainly built a sweat, and by the time ellie was done hanging all the lights, putting out all the food, and setting up the projector, she was exhausted. but ellie knew it was worth it, just imagining your face once you saw everything she did for you was enough for ellie to keep pushing through with her plan. 

checking the time again, she jumped in shock and clambered around for her jacket, slipping it over her hoodie. ellie headed out to the gates, so she could be there to greet you once you got back. filled with excitement, she couldn’t help but walk with a little pep in her step, even though the snow was blowing at such a high speed. 

once she made it to the tall, lumber gates, ellie could see a crowd of people gathering nearby the stables and from a distance, she caught a glimpse of jesse.

sprinting over to the swarm of people, ellie grabbed jesse’s shoulder. 

“what’s going on?” ellie noticed jesse was by himself and you were nowhere to be seen, “where is she?” her brain immediately jumped to the worst possible case scenario, assuming you were out there by yourself, fighting off a pack of clickers or something worse.

jesse turned to look at ellie, a decision he immediately regretted, knowing it’d be impossible for him to lie to those piercing green-eyes. 

“listen— ellie, let’s take a breather—” outrage boiled inside ellie’s stomach, and she cut jesse off with a strong shove to the chest, sending him back a few feet.

“where the fuck is she, jesse?!” the brunette yelled, “did you just fucking leave her alone? out there?!” 

jesse took ahold of ellie’s shoulders, shaking her a little, “will you let me get a fuckin’ word in?!” 

“this better be good.” 

ellie pushed jesse’s hands off of her, taking a couple of deep breaths. “we were ambushed by a pack of runners by the old tire factory four kilometers down,” jesse recounted, “we couldn’t see a thing, els. the snow was blowin’ in our faces, and i guess we were talkin’ too loud— next thing i knew, we were runnin’ for our lives. didn’t have the ammo to take them all down.” 

“what happened, jess?” it took everything in her to hold back a sob, “please.”

“all i heard her yell was for me to go back to town, that she’ll lead them away. then she took off in the other direction, all those fuckers chasing after her,” jesse’s voice cracked, only now realizing the gravity of the situation. 

“why the fuck would you let her do that?! you should’ve chased after her or— or—” ellie pounded on jesse’s chest, rage fueling her every action. all she could see was red, blinded by the fury.

jesse took her fists in his hands, attempting to calm ellie down, but there was no avail. “you know how she is, els! she’s stubborn as fuck and she doesn’t listen to anyone else—” he breathes out, “she loves this town more than anything in this fuckin’ world. i should’ve known she would’ve done some stupid shit like that.” 

a tear rolls down ellie’s face, knowing in her heart that everything jesse was saying was true, and she couldn’t argue with him about that. 

“she would’ve never forgiven herself if anything happened or— or someone here got hurt,” jesse muttered. 

“this is all your fault! you— you should’ve done something, jess! anything! instead— you left her out there to di—” ellie couldn’t shake off the anger that simmered inside her. she was finding every excuse to blame everyone else, not wanting to face the truth that it was your decision and your decision alone to do this. 

“hey!” jesse screams, “you think you’re the only person in this fucking town who cares about her?! newsflash, ellie! you’re fuckin’ wrong!”

jesse couldn’t stand the incessant screams coming from her. he was already beating himself over it, guilt washing over him every time he was reminded that he just abandoned you. 

“she’s my- she’s my fuckin’ best friend too, ellie!” a tear streams down jesse’s face, “i would’ve fuckin’ traded places with her in a heartbeat! and you know that!” 

at this point, jesse and ellie are in full-blown tears. ellie struggles to respond to jesse, and all she could do was hug the boy in front of her. she didn’t mean anything she said, and she knew he tried his best.

“i love her, jess. i love her,” ellie sobs into his jacket, not caring if snow gets in her face. “what if she’s out there alone? or what if she’s bit? or dea—” 

jesse cuts her off, “no. don’t even think that,” he grabs ahold of her shoulders again, “if there’s one thing we both know ‘bout her is that she’s tough and she knows what she’s doin’ when she’s out there. we’ll go after her once the snow slows down.” 

all they could do was wait. as much as jesse, ellie, and even dina protested, joel and tommy weren’t letting anyone out, saying that the snow is still coming down too hard and that it was going to be dark soon. it took four stable boys and three other patrol men to restrain the trio from going out on their own and finding you themselves.

as the hours passed and the sun went down, anxiety and panic begin to set in ellie further and further. 

she couldn’t restrain herself anymore, and walked towards the stables for shimmer, deciding that she’d search for you herself. not caring how many people tried to hold her back. ellie needed to get her girl back.

approaching shimmer’s stable, ellie tries to pull her gate open but it didn’t budge, realizing they put a padlock on her stall. 

“fuck!” ellie screams, kicking a nearby metal bucket, creating a loud ‘clang’ sound. she sat down on a bench, putting her head in her hands and attempting to stop the tears from flowing out of her eyes. 

“you know, it’ll do no good if you go out there by yourself.”

ellie picks her head up, seeing the voice was from maria. 

“she needs you here, ellie. you know she’d throw a fit if she found out you went out in the blizzard by yourself,” maria commented, taking a seat on the bench beside ellie. 

“what if i lost the only chance i had to tell her i loved her?” ellie croaks out, looking at maria with glossy, bloodshot eyes. the older woman wraps an arm around her, pulling her in for a much-needed side hug, “i’m so fucking stupid, maria. so, so stupid.” 

“she’ll come back. our girl, she’s resilient,” maria coos, “those runners out there, they should be the ones whose scared.” 

ellie laughed a little through her tears as maria rubbed the side of her shoulder, “if she doesn’t come back by mornin’, we’ll all search for her, okay?” 

the emerald-eyed girl nods, using her hoodie sleeve to wipe her tears. 

“hey! i see someone coming!” ellie and the older woman hear one of the guards yelling. both of them scramble to their feet, rushing to see who it was. 

“open the gates!” joel commands. the towering gates slowly unfold, revealing you strolling inside with sunshine. 

you have never been so relieved to see those shimmering lights in the distance. after spending nearly nine hours cooped up in a smelly outhouse to hide from the runners, you and sunshine made a go for it, nearly snapping your ankle in the process. but you were thankful you were in one piece and uninfected.

limping next to sunshine, the first person you see is jesse. he races towards you, suffocating you in a tight bear hug, lifting you off the snow and spinning you around. once he sets you back on the ground, he gently punches you in the shoulder.

“you’re so fuckin’ dumb for doin’ that, you know? we could’a lost you,” he wastes no time lecturing, earning an eye roll from you. 

“one of us had to do it, jess,” your voice comes out sounding strained and weak from all the yelling hours prior. 

jesse gives you a stern look, “it could’a been me. i don’t what i’d do if something happened to you,” he murmurs, pulling you in for another hug, “who’s gonna clean out all the alcohol now?” 

you gasp and smack his shoulder, inciting a hearty laugh from the raven-haired boy. he’s never been so happy to see you in his life, and he’s relieved you’re alive and okay.

you’re taken aback when jesse is suddenly shoved onto the ground, the snow cushioning his fall. ellie appears in your view and she takes your face in her hands, scanning your features for any sign of injury or bites or anything of the sort. 

jesse groans in pain, holding his hip, “jeez, an ‘excuse me’ would’a sufficed,” he murmurs before he hobbles away, leaving you two alone. 

“what happened, baby? where were you?” ellie whispers, her hands never leaving your face, afraid that this would somehow all be a dream and you would slip from her fingertips. 

your heart flutters in your chest at her pet name, “i-i was at the farm, down the mountain. i was hiding in an outhouse,” your nose crinkles, “wasn’t the most pleasant experience. i’d give it a three out of ten.” 

ellie laughs, despite a couple of tears falling from her eyes, “yeah?” 

you nod, “then when the coast was clear, i made a run for it and got on shimmer. think i sprained my ankle though,” you let out a soft hiss as the pain in your ankle shoots up your leg, “besides that, m’fine. just starving.” 

ellie wraps her arm around your waist, holding onto you and making sure you don’t stumble. you both see ethan walk over to you, and before ethan had a chance to say something, ellie held her hand up. 

“woah, woah, woah there,” ellie declares, “she needs her rest, so i’m gonna take her home. got that, horse-boy?” and ellie whisks you away from everyone else, allowing ethan to take sunshine back to the stables and in her stall. 

you didn’t bother to protest, as you were way too exhausted, and you liked seeing ellie get jealous over you for once. 

managing to limp all the way to ellie’s shed, you both make it back within due time. ellie rummages through her pockets for her key. 

“before we go in, i just wanna warn you, i had this plan for you to tell you how i felt and i was waiting for you to come back but-”

you cut her off, letting out a soft giggle, “ellie, just open the door.” 

“yes, ma’am.”

she unlocks the door, swinging it open and allowing you to enter first. you step inside, drinking in the sight in front of you. dainty fairy lights adorned her walls and ceilings, your favorite chips and candy are sprawled out in cute serving bowls, two plates of your favorite meal are neatly set with fancy cutlery, and your favorite show was in the VHS, waiting to be played. 

you were in awe. your heart swelled ten sizes bigger, and all you could feel was euphoria. ellie did all of this? for you? if you would’ve known sooner, you would’ve made an effort to come back quicker. 

“it’s perfect, els,” you breathe out, looking up at her with a smile. 

she gives you a soft kiss on your forehead, “it’s all for you, babe.” 

there it was again, those damn butterflies.

leading you by your hand, she brings you inside, guiding you toward her bed. sitting down on the cushion of the mattress, you take off your backpack and put it to the side. 

“wanna get cleaned up first? i have some extra clothes you can borrow and you can use the shower,” ellie suggests, holding up a pile of sleepwear. 

“yea, i feel icky,” you say scrunching your nose, eliciting a laugh from the brunette. 

you shimmy your jacket off and lift your shirt above your head, tossing it to the side. ellie takes it upon herself to help you out of your pants, and she pulls you up on your feet by the belt loops of your jeans, unbuttoning them and peeling them off your thighs. 

she gently pushes you back down to sit on the bed, and ellie crouches down in front of you, lifting your legs up to remove your pants. her breath hitches in her throat as she sneaks a peek at your blue, cotton panties. 

get your mind out of the gutter, ellie. you’re a gentlewoman.

standing up, you shift your weight on your unaffected foot. ellie snakes her arm around your bare waist, attempting to pry her eyes away from your chest. her mind is spinning, dizzy from the thought of having you naked in her place right now. clearing her throat, she takes your other hand and leads you toward the bathroom. 

her hand turns the shower on, checking the water periodically to see if it’s at a comfortable temperature for you. “here, i think the water’s fine.” 

limping towards the shower, ellie leaves a towel and the clean clothes on a bare spot on the sink, and heads out the door, “shout if you need me, i’ll come running.” 

as the water splashes on your skin, your muscles relax. washing away today’s events from your mind and rinsing off the mud from your skin, you feel a thousand times better. you savor the steam and how it helps you breathe again, feeling like you can inhale and exhale clearly. turning off the water, you step out of the shower and pat yourself dry with the towel. 

slipping the clothes on, you step out to ellie’s room, finding her sat on the bed, fiddling with the projector. the smell of your favorite dish wafts in your nose, and you turn your head to see steam rising from the plate. ellie managed to reheat the food and get the projector going, determined to give you the special night you deserved. for her special girl. 

realizing you’re out of the shower, ellie gets up and fixes her clothes, “i— uh— got everything set up for you.” 

a small smile forms across your face, realizing that ellie was nervous. your stomach tied in knots, excited for what was to come tonight.

“here, we don’t wanna put too much weight on that ankle,” she comes over and guides you to sit back down on the bed, lifting your leg and placing a small pillow under your sore ankle, inciting a small grimace from your face. 

“there we go. all better,” ellie murmurs, placing a hand on your thigh.

you smile, “thank you for helping me. but you didn’t have to do all of this, you know?”

“i wanted to. i mean— i had to show you in some way that i’m serious about you and that i want to be with you.” her green eyes soften when they connect with yours. 

“ellie—”

she shakes her head, “no. don’t do that,” ellie sighs, “i’m so sorry it took me this long to realize i love you. it took having to see you with fucking ethan to know that i couldn’t survive in this wasteland of a world if it wasn’t me and you against it.”

tears begin to water in the corners of her eyes, “you know— when i was waiting for you, i was just stuck with this horrible feeling of just..not knowing what happened to you,” her voice cracks a little, “i was so scared, so fucking scared, baby. i thought the universe was punishing me, giving me the karma i deserved for not telling you that i love you sooner. thought i was gonna lose you.” 

you wrap your arms around ellie’s neck, pulling her close to you. her tears were dampening your shirt, but you didn’t care. it felt like you were in a dream, a dream you’ve had a hundred times before. a dream where the girl you fell in love with all those years ago was confessing her feelings to you, laying her heart out wide in the open. 

but this was real. everything was real.

pulling away from you, she looks at your face with tear-filled eyes, “if i were to ever lose you, i’d lose myself,” her voice trembles, “everything i’ve done here in jackson, everything i’ve accomplished here was all because of you. it’s you and me, babe.” 

you didn’t even realize you were crying until a tear falls down from your cheek. tears shedding from your eyes, you cup ellie’s cheeks and press your lips against hers. her hands instinctively make their way to your waist, kissing you back with everything she had in her. 

you pull away for a second to take a breath, leaning your forehead against hers, “it’s me and you,” you whisper against her lips before you press them against hers one more time.

the whole night is spent with you cuddled up against ellie, laughing ‘til your belly hurt at your favorite episodes, and throwing pieces of candy at her whenever she made a dumb joke. 

but you knew this is where you were supposed to be, where you belonged. with ellie. and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

this is the end! thank u everyone for sticking w/ me til the end. i <3 u all.

[lost-romantique]

This is why I'm against a love triangle...

This is why I'm against a love triangle guys, because this idea genuinely disturbs me.

I'm sorry, this idea sounds really fucked up to me...

Because imagine being Blitz:

This guy confesses his feelings to you

You guys have a falling out but you patch things up

Shit happens, so you give this guy a place to stay in your home, and you also offer him a job

This guy, despite still having feelings for you, then randomly decides to romantically date someone else WHILE YOU LIVE AND WORK TOGETHER

My dude this isn't just effed up from Blitzø’s perspective, it's also effed up for the guy Stolas is dating perspective.

No hate to Stolago fans right now, and if it does happen, fine, but please not like this...

I really would rather have Stolitz go through eternal limbo than what this fan suggested.

Also, if this were to happen, we aren't getting haha funny Jealous Blitz from this, we're getting Depressed Blitz who thinks he's gonna die alone.

~~~

Note: Yes, this is the same guy that keeps on messaging me on reddit. He's now commenting on my reddit posts too.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and  ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one. 

1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen? 

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF 

Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.

I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.

There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Tangential to the genre

There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)

Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.

And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.

Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.

Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)

[imagine-you]

Caught In the Middle [Logan/Reader/Wade] (1/7)

Summary: A tragic mistake from your past has literally haunted you for years. You've jumped from place to place in a bid to outrun your ghosts before finally stumbling across the X-Men. You're convinced you'll never love again until the Merc with the Mouth falls right into your life and you find yourself falling for him. When you're pruned by the TVA and end up on a cross-universe trip together to save your universe, you have to come face to face with some hard truths and learn how to forgive yourself before you can move on. You're in no way prepared for what you face and you sure as hell never thought you would find yourself falling in love with one idiot, let alone two. You feel more than a little caught in the middle between Wade and Logan, and while two idiots never really made a right before, you start to realize that there just might be a way for all of you to achieve a happy ending together. Pairings: Wade/Reader, Logan/Reader, Logan/Wade, Logan/Reader/Wade, past!Johnny Storm/Reader Word Count: 8.2k Author's Note: This will eventually involve some Wade/Logan, because I just want the triangle to be equal. The chemistry is undeniable and I can't really help myself. But this is very much about all three finding their own happiness together.

Read on AO3

"You're such a fucking dick, do you know that?" You quickly tugged on your shirt, ignoring Johnny’s lingering look. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t follow me into the bathroom anymore. That’s the only bit of privacy I get. You can’t just go wandering in when I’m in the shower.” 

"Hey, babe," Johnny started, raising his hands in surrender. "I never even agreed to that. So what if I like to sneak a peek now and then? Give me something to enjoy in my afterlife. Besides, what’re you gonna do about it? No door’s gonna keep me out. I’ll just walk right through it.” 

“Such a dick,” you muttered, glaring at him. 

“But you love me anyway. You know you do," he teased, shrugging his shoulders.  

You rolled your eyes, flopping down on your bed before staring up at the ceiling. "Sometimes, I wish I had never met you," you grumbled, not meaning the words at all.  

Johnny made a thoughtful noise, looking out the window. "You don't mean that," Johnny challenged with a quirk of his eyebrow. "Admit it, you miss my hot ass," he claimed, winking at you.  

You snorted, resisting the urge to throw your pillow at him. It would only phase right through him and then you would be out a pillow, because you were in no mood to get off your bed.  

"So, another day of staring at the ceiling, wishing your life was different? God, if I knew dying would turn you into this, I would've--," he stopped talking, shooting you an apologetic look.  

"You would've what?" You probed, wondering where the hell he could have gone with that sentence. Both of you knew the only reason he was dead was because of you.  

Johnny shrugged his shoulders, playing dumb. "Nothing." 

You scoffed, before rolling your eyes. You turned away from him, not wanting him to see that you were trying to fight the urge to cry. "Maybe you should be the one wishing you never met me." 

"No," Johnny denied, moving to sit on the edge of your bed. He brought a hand up, like he wanted to reach out for you, before he remembered he couldn't make contact. He would just pass right through you. "Don't do this again, okay? I love you. I always have. But there's a conversation we've been avoiding here and whether you like it or not, we're going to have to have it one of these days." When you clenched your jaw, refusing to look at him, he sighed in exasperation. "We were just dumb kids who didn't know our own strengths. You've got to stop blaming yourself because I never thought it was your fault." 

You still avoided Johnny's gaze, knowing there was nothing he could really do about it, and hating yourself even more for the thought. Johnny might not blame you, but it didn't make it any easier to let go of the guilt that had plagued you since his death. It had been years of Johnny following you around, only tethered because of your power, and you were scared that one day you would look up and realize he was no longer with you.  

"Ah, c'mon, babe," Johnny coaxed before he was interrupted by a knock on the door.  

You rolled off your bed, glad for the distraction, before moving towards the door. You opened it to see Piotr standing there waiting for you.  

"We are about to leave for Wade's birthday party," Piotr informed you. "Will you be joining us? I know you received the invitation Peter sent you." 

You liked hanging out with Piotr and you liked hanging out with Wade. You even liked living in the X-Mansion, even though privacy was something you sorely missed.  But the thought of so many people around you while all you wanted was to crawl into a hole and hide forever wasn't something you really felt up to doing. "Nah," you answered, shaking your head. "I think I'll just hang back. Tell Wade I said happy birthday, yeah?" 

Piotr frowned, but didn't try to argue with you. "I will bring you back a piece of cake," he decided before walking away, leaving you to shut the door.  

You turned back towards your bed, ignoring Johnny's irritated huff of breath. You dropped back down onto your bed, resuming your evening plans to stare at the ceiling and forget you existed.  

"Oh my God," Johnny groaned, moving to lie down beside you. "Can you quit being emo for two seconds and just live your life already? At least ask him out, for fuck's sake." 

"Who? Piotr?" You asked, knowing exactly who Johnny was referring to, but not wanting to give him the satisfaction of making it easy on him.  

"Stop being an idiot," he admonished, swatting at you, his fingers passing right through your arm. "It's really not you." 

You rolled your eyes, turning on your side to face him. "Wade's still hung up on Vanessa. Also, it's none of your fucking business." 

Johnny turned until your noses were nearly touching. A chill swept through you and you shivered. Johnny glanced down at the blanket, as if he wished he could pull it up over you. "You're still hung up on me, otherwise I wouldn't be here," he pointed out with a quirked eyebrow. That sounded dangerously like the conversation you had been avoiding for years and you shrunk back from him, worried about the direction he was going. Johnny sighed, exasperated, and continued talking. "And yet you've got feelings for the red dumbass. Point is, you can fall for more than one person. You can love more than one person. It’s not the end of the world. He probably wants to bone you too so you should just, you know, bone each other." 

"Oh my God," you moaned, horrified, before managing to wriggle yourself under your blanket. You pulled it up to hide your face, flinching when Johnny moved closer so he could peek through the threads and right into your eyes. "I don't have the best track record, alright? I'm oh for one on keeping the guys I fall for alive." 

Johnny shook his head, narrowing his eyes at you. "That fuckin' moron can't die and you know it. Stop being a coward and just get some already. How many times do I have to tell you before you start getting it that it's not your fault that I'm dead?" 

"I couldn't save you, Johnny. It was my power, mine, that fucked everything up. If it wasn't for me, if I wasn't there that night, you'd still be alive." You reached out for him, your fingers dipping right into his chest. "You'd be able to feel me and I'd be able to feel you. Now, you're stuck with me and I can only use you for your power, because I'm a selfish piece of shit." That wasn't quite true, because Johnny was a special case where your power for raising the dead was concerned, but you were on a self-deprecating roll, and you couldn't stop now. 

Johnny didn't say anything for a moment, simply watching you. You remembered a time when getting Johnny to shut up was a minor miracle, but in the years since his death, he'd grown more contemplative and less likely to run his mouth. Although, there were still times when he really let loose, knowing you were the only audience for his rants. He was also perceptive as hell and you knew he was reading everything you didn't want him to just from your expression.  

"Without me," you finished, pushing the blanket back down and turning onto your back to stare up at the ceiling. "The Fantastic Four wouldn't be the Fantastic Three." That was a bridge you had well and truly burned, understandably so given what happened the night that Johnny died. Johnny might not blame you for what happened to him, but Sue sure as hell did.  

"Sometimes, you're a real asshole, you know that?" Johnny muttered, getting off your bed to retreat to his chair near the window.  

"Don't I know it," you sighed, melancholy sweeping over you faster than you could try to push it away.  

You had wandered for a few years after Johnny's death. You had been halfway through your degree, but you dropped out to take odd jobs where people cared less about your name and past and more about if you could wait a table or scrub dishes. You refused to use your powers, shelving yourself in the 'villain' category everyone was so quick to bestow on you upon learning what you could do. It only took two months before Johnny showed up, leaning against the counter at a diner in the middle of nowhere Nebraska and asking you what the hell you thought you were doing.  

You had always known that necromancy was an ability you possessed, but it had never been so personal for you before. You could raise dead superheroes and take their powers for a spin, but none of them had ever followed you. None of them had ever haunted you.  

 Not until Johnny.  

Your other 'gift' was one you could easily go the rest of your life without unleashing again. It was the one that had been used on Johnny. It was the reason he was dead.  

You jumped from place to place until you ended up caught in the middle of a fight between Mr. Sinister and the X-Men. It wasn't long before they wanted to recruit you and while you were ready to pass on the opportunity, Johnny had convinced you to give it a shot.  

"Just give the whole superhero gig another go around. What's the worst that could happen?"

One anti-hero in a skintight red and black suit was what happened. Wade had quite literally dropped into your life while he was tracking down some guy named Francis and had quickly adopted you into his makeshift family. Your feelings for him evolved over time, morphing from irritation and exasperation to anticipation and affection. You had fallen hard for Wade and while you knew you didn't have a shot with him, you couldn't stop yourself from pining.  

Wade made you feel alive again. Wade didn't treat you like you were bound to break from one wrong word. Wade poked and prodded until he got hard-earned smiles out of you and he cared in his own roundabout way. Wade had a vocabulary and way with words that reminded you of Johnny and he always had your back when shit hit the fan.  

He had become your friend and then so much more and even though he wasn't with Vanessa any longer, you didn't dare to hope he would ever think of you as anything other than a teammate. 

Now, you were an X-Man with a pathetic crush on the only person to spectacularly fail out of the X-Men trainee program. You were holed up in your room, moping and feeding your own heartbreak with self-doubt, when you could be in a room surrounded by people who actually seemed to like you while you celebrated the man you were half in love with.  

"Fine," you groaned, pushing yourself to sit up. "Maybe we should go to that party after all," you conceded, catching the quick smile on Johnny's face.  

"Apology accepted," Johnny allowed, standing from the chair.  

There was a knock on your bedroom door and you frowned at it. You didn't think Piotr would have waited around for you, but you appreciated the sentiment. He was the kind of hopeful you were tempted to find foolish, but you begrudgingly thought it was sweet instead.  

Another insistent knock had you rolling your eyes.  

"That's gotta be Negasonic," Johnny commented, gesturing for you to go ahead and open the door. "Don't keep her waiting. She'll just blow the door down. Again." 

"I'm coming, I'm coming," you called, shooting Johnny a warning look when he smirked at your choice of words.  

You expected Negasonic or Piotr or maybe even Yukio when you opened the door. You weren't expecting four people decked out in full combat gear. You got a glimpse of an orange TVA stamped onto the front of the uniform before you were grabbed by the arm and tugged forward. You heard Johnny shout before there was a rush of flames and everything went dark.  

You woke with your forehead resting on a table. There was a headache brewing right behind your eyes and your heart was pounding. You tried to figure out where you were and what happened when you realized you could still hear Johnny.  

"--these fuckers and I'll roast them until their brains leak out their ears and then I'll--" 

"What the fuck," you groaned, finally managing to pick your head up off the table.  

You were seated facing a guy you didn't recognize. Johnny was pacing restlessly from one end of the room to the other, keeping an eye on the stranger.  

"Good, you're awake," Johnny said at the same time as the other guy.  

Johnny scowled at the guy. "This British prim and proper fuck kidnapped you and has been sitting there staring at you like a fucking creep. Now that you're awake, I can use my power and barbecue the smug prick." 

"I'm sorry we had to resort to such harsh methods, but my men assured me they handled you with the utmost care. We couldn’t risk you using your abilities, although one of my men did walk away a little singed." 

You caught Johnny’s satisfied grin and had to resist the urge to roll your eyes.  

You frowned at the stranger, still trying to make sense of the situation. "What the hell is going on? Where am I?" 

"You've been chosen," the guy informed you. "We at the TVA have to make the tough choices in order to ensure the upkeep of the timelines, particularly the sacred timeline, and we would like to recruit you to work for us." 

You blinked at him once, twice, trying to understand what he was telling you. You had never heard of the TVA and you had no fucking clue what the sacred timeline was or why it even mattered. All you really knew was that you had been kidnapped and now you were being given a job pitch. 

"Oh, how rude of me. You see, I know everything about you, but you know nothing about me. They call me Paradox. We've been keeping an eye on you for quite some time and we believe you're perfect for our mission here at the TVA. I'm quite a fan myself of your skillset and I know without a doubt we can put it to good use here." 

You neglected to respond, not liking the direction the conversation was headed. No good person actually liked your powers. You hated them, but there was nothing you could do about that except use them as sparingly as possible. Villains tried to recruit you and superheroes sneered at you once they realized what you could do. But the only people who really mattered to you were the only ones who realized you were more than abilities. They were the ones who accepted you regardless of the fact you could raise the dead or allow them to possess you. They were the ones who didn’t try to push you to use your other power when they realized you wanted nothing to do with it.  

Paradox seemed to realize he had lost you, because he heaved a heavy sigh and stood from his chair. 

"Why don't you follow me? We've got a friend of yours here who might be a bit more persuasive than I am. I understand why you might be reluctant, given your tragic past and whatnot, but we promise to treat you with absolute respect here." 

“I don’t like this,” Johnny grumbled, glaring at Paradox. “Something’s wrong here.”  

You shared a look with Johnny. He still looked pissed off and you consoled yourself with the fact that if shit went sideways, then he could always use his power to take out Paradox.  

You got up out of the chair and followed Paradox out of the room. He took you to an elevator that opened onto a walkway that looked down on several cubicles where other TVA employees were dutifully working. You noticed a few of them lift their heads, gifting you with curious glances, before going back to work. 

 Paradox led you towards a row of monitors at the end of the walkway. Reels of battles were playing on the screens, and you caught sight of members of the Avengers.  

"We only look for the best and brightest here at the TVA and you have the potential to become someone who makes a real difference. We'd like you to join the best of the best." 

You wanted to tell Paradox you were already part of a team. You had the X-Men and you didn't want to abandon them.  

You had a good thing going, really, all things considered.  

But then the elevator opened and you turned just in time to see Wade stride out in a new Deadpool suit.  

He hadn't donned the suit in years, and you felt your breath catch in your throat at the sight of him. The first thought that came to your mind was that he looked gorgeous, confident in a way he hadn’t been in six years. The next thought that quickly followed was that the suit fit him really well and left nearly nothing to the imagination. You had to avert your gaze, finding Johnny staring at you with a shit-eating grin that only served to make you feel even more flustered.  

Wade was busy gushing about the suit and you heard him mention adamantium katanas before his eyes finally landed on you.  

Wade gasped, pointing a finger at you. "Y/N's joining the big leagues too? Oh ho ho, that's the best news over. C'mere," he reached out to draw you into a hug and you could only stand there, flummoxed by the turn of events.  

Wade being here as well changed everything, and you had a feeling there was no going back. As long as Wade was at the TVA, you weren’t going anywhere.  

"So," Wade started, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "When can me and my girl here join the Avengers? I figure we can do a one week on one week off sort of schedule. Gives us enough time to come back and really put in the time with our family." 

You were having a hard time concentrating with Wade pressed so close to your side. Couple that with the fact that he had also referred to you as his girl and your head was spinning.  

Paradox narrowed his eyes at Wade for a moment before his confusion cleared. "No, no," he denied with a shake of his head. "I'm afraid you don't quite get it. Your universe and that family will be no more, Mr. Wilson. Your universe is going to be wiped out because it lost its anchor being." 

Wade went still at your side, his shoulders tensing in a way that usually meant nothing good, and you knew shit was about to go down. You shot Johnny a look, catching him staring at Paradox with even more venom than before. You had no doubt he was thinking about his own family and Sue and Peter Parker and all the others he had loved so much while he was alive being decimated because of Paradox and the TVA. 

"Well," Wade started, drawing away from you. "You're in luck, because I'm right here. It was just a little retirement, but I'm back in the saddle now, and ready to giddy up again." He mimed riding a horse for a brief moment before growing still. It was the way he held himself when he knew there was danger and you knew that when he started fighting, you were going to have his back.  

Paradox snorted, instinctive and involuntary from the surprised look on his face. "You? Oh, dear God, no. I'm talking about a being who gave up everything, including his own life, in a sacrifice that was so noble, so heart wrenching that it left many in tears. This man's loss sent shockwaves through your timeline, triggering its destruction. I'm talking, of course, about Logan. The Wolverine." 

Paradox gestured towards the monitors where an older Logan Howlett was dying. He was talking to a young girl and was gravely injured, his skin ashen grey and words growing more drawn out as he clung to life.  

 You glanced at the TVA employees who had all paused what they were doing to stare up at the monitors. Some had hands clutched to their chests at the display and a few even had tears in their eyes. Paradox seemed just as enthralled by the scene and you wondered when the hell Logan was set to die, because as far as you knew, he was still very much alive in your time.  

"Right, okay, yeah," Wade said, turning away from Paradox before putting his head in his hands and shaking it in frustration. "Logan?!" He exclaimed, turning on Paradox again. "That jackass is what's keeping me from losing my family? That fucker can heal, so how the fuck can he die? And he’s got skewers for hands! He’s not that fucking special. Put him on a street corner and he can sell kebabs off those things. You’re really telling me that fucker is going to kill my timeline because he finally decided to retire?" 

"He's really quite extraordinary," Paradox mused, watching the monitors as the life drained out of Logan's eyes. He turned the monitors off before gifting Wade all his attention again. "I've been tasked with watching your timeline die out of natural causes, but that's not good enough for me, no. I'm going to use a device that's going to rip apart your timeline. It's a mercy killing, Mr. Wilson, and while it's an acceptable loss, I've pruned you and your friend here because I thought we could use you. Your talents are impressive, Mr. Wilson, and well, you," Paradox continued, addressing you. "The way you fight the darkness inside you to be a better hero. How you eschew half your power because of the pain you've faced in your past. The powers you wield and borrow from the dead without ever letting it overwhelm you. All of that brought you here and I really think the both of you should be thanking me." 

"Thanking you," you repeated, finally deigning to talk again after letting yourself observe everything in silence. "You're planning to kill our universe and you want us to thank you?" 

"You're basically telling us you're gonna take our timeline out back and shoot it," Wade added, his tone edged with a hint of steel, betraying his anger.  

"I'm good at what I do and I'm not meant to sit around and watch the lights go dim on your universe." He pointed a device at the monitors, and they turned on again, showing a machine being activated by TVA agents.  

"What in the ever-loving fuck is that?" Wade asked, leaning forward to try to get a better look at the picture before you.  

"That is a time ripper," Paradox answered with a smug grin. "And I intend to use it to rip apart your little universe. Your friends and your family won't feel a thing, of course, it's really the most humane way to do these things. Letting them just blink out of existence from natural causes, well, that's unneeded. I want to run, no be the TVA one day and these are the kind of decisions that will put me at the top." 

"Are you believing this shit?" Wade muttered, lowering his voice so only you could hear.  

"Not really," you answered, studying Paradox with interest. "But if you let him keep talking, he'll give us something he didn't mean to." 

"Get him monologuing, good call," Wade approved with a nod of his head.  

"What are you two talking about? Were you listening to me at all?" Paradox interrupted, appearing irritated by you and Wade.  

"No," you and Wade answered at the same time.  

"Jinx," Wade whispered, reaching out to pinch you.  

You slapped his hand away, keeping your full attention on Paradox, waiting for him to fuck up.  

Paradox huffed out an annoyed breath. "Your universe is dying and I intend to erase it completely from existence once the time ripper is ready. The both of you can be saved and you can use your abilities for a greater cause. I'm giving you a chance most others don't get, so don't waste it. " 

"Oh, I don't intend to," Wade assured him, beginning to approach him. "So, you're saying that without Logan, my universe dies?" 

Paradox rolled his eyes, his composure beginning to fade. "How many times do I have to--" 

Wade grabbed Paradox by the shoulders and jerked him forward so his nose made contact with Wade's forehead. Paradox staggered back, holding his now bleeding nose.  

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Paradox spat, fury flashing in his eyes.  

"I'm going to snag me a Wolverine," Wade answered, holding up the device Paradox had been holding. "And lookie what I got here." 

Paradox's eyes went wide in alarm before Wade rushed towards you and grabbed your hand. He used the device to open a doorway just off the walkway. He spun you so you were facing him and wrapped his arms around your waist. You instinctively wrapped yours around him as he fell off the walkway right onto the orange glowing portal.  

Wade hit the ground, and you landed on him. You glanced up to see the way back had been sealed off, leaving you and Wade stuck in a forest covered in snow.  

"Not that this isn't nice and all," Wade mused, tilting his head to the side as he considered you. You wished you could see his face so you could read his expression instead of just his tone. "But we've got a family to save." 

"Right," you muttered, patting Wade on the chest in thanks for softening the blow for you. You moved to get up before holding out a hand to help Wade up off the ground. Your head was still reeling from the turn of events and there was a little flutter in your stomach at the memory of being pressed up against Wade. He had grabbed you and shielded you from the fall and all you could think about was how nice it had felt being held in his arms.  

"You're so easy," Johnny teased, leaning against a tree as he studied you. "Is it his big, strong arms? That skintight red suit? You always were a sucker for a guy in a suit. Remember how riled up you'd get when I put mine on?" 

"Oh my God, shut up," you groaned, turning a glare on Johnny.  

"I didn't--you know what? Never mind. Be back in a sec," Wade promised before he used the device again. He was gone for just a moment, barely long enough for you to feel stranded out in the wilderness. He appeared again, holding a shovel in his hand and brandishing it at you. "Ready to dig up an X-Man?" 

You sat with your back against a tree and watched Wade dig up Logan's grave. You had never met Logan, because he had split by the time you joined the X-Men. You weren't really sure where he was, but you supposed he no longer wanted to play hero. Not after Jean Grey's death left him heartbroken. The team had shattered after Scott's death, but the pieces had scattered upon losing Jean. It had taken years before a new team formed and while you didn't hold the same glory as the older X-Men, you knew what you did still mattered.  

"I guess, in a certain light, he is kinda hot, you know," Johnny commented, sitting at your side. “He’d probably be strong enough to hold you up against a wall while you--” 

“Stop it,” you snapped, embarrassed even though you were the only one who could hear Johnny. 

Wade had finished digging up the grave and was now hidden from view.  

"What the fuck!" Wade barked before you saw him grab the shovel and start hitting something over and over again. "Get. Up. You. Fucking. Useless. Piece. Of. Shit." Each word was punctuated by another hit of the shovel and you could hear it connect with something metal each time. 

You had a sinking feeling in your gut that Logan was more than a little dead.  

"But fuck is he an idiot," Johnny continued with an unimpressed look in your direction. "Your standards really lowered after I died, you know that?" 

"Wade," you called, opting to ignore Johnny for now and moving to stand up. "Why don't we just take a second, alright? Get out of the grave and let’s rethink our plan." 

Instead of Wade, a metal skull peeked over the edge of the grave. "You see this shit? We came all the way out here to bumfuck who fucking cares and he's actually dead!" There was a hint of hysteria in Wade's tone and you took a few steps forward until you could see him hunched over Logan’s skeleton, shaking it in frustration. "What was all that bullshit about regenerative healing for then? Because it's not doing shit for us now!" 

"C'mon," you coaxed, knowing Wade was in the midst of a meltdown. He had been relying on the idea that Logan was miraculously still alive and now that he was met with the harsh evidence that Logan was completely and totally dead, he was starting to lose hope. "Let's take a second to regroup. There's got to be another answer." 

"Yeah, we're fucked, that's the answer," Wade hissed, but he still threw Logan's skeleton over the side of the grave before following.  

You watched him stand and dust himself off before grabbing the skeleton. You were getting a little worried about how he seemed intent on dragging it along with him, as if he was still hoping Logan would spring to life at any moment.  

"I don't think fresh air's gonna kickstart his healing," Johnny said with a frown.  

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? It's just, you were my only shot at getting this fixed and now I'm in a teensy bit of a bind."  

It took you a moment to realize that Wade was talking to Logan's corpse.  

Wade reached out to upright Logan's skeleton and adjusted it until it was sitting next to him on a fallen tree.   

"God, Logan, I've gotta admit, I always wanted a team-up. Deadpool and Wolverine. It'd be a billion-dollar idea right there, but what are we gonna do? You're dead and I'm, well, not," he continued, slapping a hand to Logan's patella with a chuckle that sounded a bit too unhinged.  

"Wade, maybe we should just--" you started to say before dozens of orange doorways appeared. You saw TVA agents begin to stream out of them. "Fuck," you breathed, your heart racing at the sight of them.  

"I mean, yeah, we probably should do that, but I don't think now's the time," Wade mused before he realized what had caught your attention. "Get down!" He urged you, moving to duck behind the log he had been sitting on and pulling Logan with him.  

You dropped down, not wanting to become an easy target. You reached out with your power, searching for someone to use. She was young, younger than you would have preferred, but when you locked eyes with her where she was standing just a few feet away, she gave a nod of agreement.  

You watched her walk towards you, aware that Wade was trying to reason with the TVA agents. You reached a hand out, feeling the cold brush of hers pass through yours, before she was absorbed into your body.  

You would never get used to the feeling of another soul tucked right up against yours. You were fully in control, but the passenger was getting to see and feel and touch again even if it was just for a brief moment. You could feel her satisfaction at feeling the hum of her power along your limbs and you slowly got to your feet.  

Wade had been busy disposing of TVA agents while you were waiting on Liana to possess you. You felt guilty that she would just have to be a bystander as you used her power to save yourself, but there was no other way. Johnny was the only one that was able to use his powers without possessing you and you still didn't even know how that worked. Whenever he used his power, you could still feel the pull of it, always dancing on the edges of your awareness. But he could stay outside your body and use it without you controlling him, which was more than you could say for the poor souls who let you use them up and spit them out again. 

"Watch out!" Johnny warned, already preparing a ball of flame to throw at the TVA agent trying to sneak up on you.  

You turned, stretching out a hand to jerk the baton out of his hand with your borrowed power. You sent it flying before slamming him back into a tree. You saw him slump to the ground before you focused on the next agent. Blood was now coating the ground and TVA agents were falling left and right, you and Wade making quick work of them while Johnny set the stragglers on fire, sending them screaming and attempting to put out the flames Johnny would only reinforce.  

"Shit," Wade breathed once there was no one left to fight. "What was it this time?" He asked you, gesturing with his hands, mimicking you using your stolen ability.  

"Telekinesis," you answered with a sigh. You had already parted ways with Liana and watching her wander away, forever forced to trek through the woods where she died, left you with a grief you didn't know how to shake.  

"Right," Wade replied, keeping his gaze on you. You weren't sure what he saw on your face, but he didn't care to comment on it. "Well, guess we've got to find ourselves a Logan that's still got some pep in his step." Wade held a hand out towards you. "You with me on this?" 

You stared down at Wade's outstretched hand. It was stupid and reckless and you didn't know what the hell would happen to you. But you trusted Wade and you had never been all that great at telling him no. You grabbed his hand, letting him pull you closer.  

"I'm with you," you told him before you let him sweep you away to another universe.  

After the fifth Logan attempted to kill Wade, you had a feeling it wasn't going to be easy taking a Wolverine anywhere he didn't want to go.  

"You wanna step in any time?" Wade grunted as the Logan you found in the apocalyptic wasteland brought his claws down into Wade's chest over and over, sending blood shooting up and coating his face in it.  

"You know, I think you're doing great," you absentmindedly assured him, shooting a wary look at the horde of souls who were all watching you with hunger in their eyes. This universe was steeped in death and your power was screaming at you to reach out and take them all, use them up and discard them, let their powers consume you. Instead, you turned your back on them, searching for your lifeline among the dead. "Wade, let's get the fuck out of here." Your voice was strained and you could feel them all staring at you. They wanted a taste of life again and you were the only one who could give it to them. If you submitted to one, they would all converge on you, threatening to tear you apart until there was nothing of you left.  

Wade seemed to realize you were struggling, because he was quick to bring a katana up and shove it through Wolverine's chest, forcing him back. He jumped to his feet, pulling his katana free before running towards you and pulling you into the next universe.  

You fell through universe after universe, searching for a Logan to drag back to the TVA in the hopes he would save your home. There was an older version of Logan who blew a hole through Wade, forcing you to put your hands up in surrender so you wouldn't suffer the same fate. There was a Logan fighting the Hulk which made quick work of flinging Wade to the side, forcing you to grab a teleportation ability from an old man so you could grab Wade and get out of range of the fight. There was a Logan in Madripoor playing poker and another one who had been turned into a zombie. There was another in league with Hydra and one nailed to a giant X amidst a field of bloodied skulls. 

You jumped from place to place, attempting to find the right Logan, but all of them only seemed to want to kill Wade. Sometimes, they even tried to take a swipe at you, prompting Johnny and Wade to do their best to keep them off you. You knew you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, but you were touched by their protective instincts. You spent so much time wallowing in self-loathing because of what you had done in your past that it was nice to get a reminder that there were still people who cared about you. 

You were starting to think you wouldn't find a Logan before the TVA caught up with the pair of you. It wasn't until Wade dragged you into another universe where you found a Logan sitting at a bar staring down into a glass of whiskey like it was his whole world that you finally lucked out.  

You hung back while Wade sidled up Logan. You could only hear about half of what they were saying so you shuffled forward, not wanting to break whatever fragile peace had fallen between Wade and Logan. This was the furthest Wade had gotten without bleeding, so you were starting to feel the tiniest glimmer of hope that this was going to finally work out.  

"You're comin' with me," Wade said before he stood and attempted to pull Logan up off his seat. 

Logan stumbled, a scowl on his face, as he attempted to unsheathe his claws. They were slowly pushing through his skin as he confronted Wade.  

"Performance issues, huh? Let's get you a little blue pill and those things will be fully erect in no time," Wade joked with a dismissive little wave of his hand.  

"Shut the fuck up," Logan growled, before his eyes met yours over Wade's shoulder. "What's the Avengers want with me? I told them I'm not doing shit for them." 

"Avengers?" You wondered, quickly glancing over your shoulder, half-expecting to see Captain America standing there. "Me?" You checked, looking back at Logan.  

"Don't play dumb with me," he snapped, his focus stolen by Wade's snort of amusement.  

"You lucky son of a bitch," Wade shot over his shoulder at you. "They wouldn't take me, you know," he confided in Logan.  

Logan quirked an unimpressed eyebrow at Wade. "I can see why, bub." 

"Hurtful," Wade responded, before he sighed. "Alright, look, enough of this. You're coming with us." 

"Like hell I am," Logan argued. "I'm not going anywhere with you." 

You watched Wade pull a gun on Logan and Logan only followed that up with an amused smirk before draining the bottle of whiskey. When his eyes rolled back up into his head and he fell to the ground unconscious, Johnny let out a low whistle.  

"That one's got some issues," he observed. "But then again, all these Logans seem more than a little fucked up." 

"Yeah," you sighed, ignoring Wade's curious glance, before moving forward. "Let's get him back to the TVA." 

"Already on it," Wade assured you before bending down and attempting to pull Logan up off the floor. He froze, moving aside the collar of Logan's shirt. "Well, hello there," Wade practically purred, obviously pleased about something. "This is so much better," he continued before starting to strip Logan's jacket off him.  

"Uh, Wade?" You called, realizing you were starting to draw an audience.  

"Is he taking off his clothes? I mean, I'd like to see what he's packing under all that, sure, but here in front of all these people?" Johnny asked, sounding equal parts fascinated and horrified.  

It wasn't until Wade had managed to get Logan out of his jacket and shirt that you realized what he wanted.  

"Is that--?" 

"The yellow and blue, tried and true, yep," Wade answered, glancing at you over his shoulder. "Think it goes all the way down?" He started unzipping Logan's pants and you rolled your eyes.  

"God, give the guy some dignity," you admonished, doing your best to shield Logan from the curious glances of the bar patrons. "I doubt he has much of it left at this point."  

This Logan seemed broken and defeated. There wasn't much fight left in him at all. You didn't know what happened to him or why he hadn't tried to automatically kill Wade, but you were tempted to try to find out.  

"Alright, all better," Wade approved once Logan was left in nothing but his X-Men suit before he got to his feet and dusted off his hands. "Little help here?" 

You helped him get Logan off the floor. Logan's head rolled to the side, coming to a rest on your shoulder. You studied him for a moment, noticing that he was beginning to come around again.  

Logan stumbled on his feet between you and Wade as you brought him through the portal to the TVA.  

Wade let Logan fall to the floor and you almost tumbled after him. You stopped yourself at the last moment though and noticed Wade approaching Paradox.  

You weren't sure where you needed to be or what you needed to do, but it quickly became apparent that Paradox wasn't pleased with Wade. 

"You not only brought the wrong Wolverine," Paradox started, "but you brought arguably the worst Wolverine." 

You glanced down at Logan to see the pain etched into his expression. There was something haunting him, not quite so literally as your past was with you, but you felt for him.  

"How about you shut the hell up and tell us how to fix this," you interrupted, not wanting to hear Paradox disparage Logan anymore. The guy had just been kidnapped, he didn’t need to be belittled by a total stranger on top of it. 

"Fix it? There is no fixing it," Paradox claimed. "Your universe is fucked and there's nothing you can do to stop it." 

"I want to speak to your manager," Wade hissed, getting in Paradox's face. "I'm fully trained in Karen and I intend to bring hell down on whatever little operation you've got going on here. I’m gonna get you fired, buddy!" 

You caught the briefest flicker of fear in Paradox's expression and realized that Wade had finally uncovered what had been so sketchy about Paradox from the beginning.  

"Oh," Wade breathed in understanding. "You've gone rogue."  

Logan slowly got to his feet at your side as Wade ranted about finding the top dog of the TVA and snitching on Paradox. Paradox looked more and more unsettled and you saw the baton just a beat too late.  

"Wade," you started before Wade was gone in a flash of light and smoke, leaving the stolen device that had been in his hand to clatter useless to the walkway.  

"God, that's better," Paradox sighed. “Some peace and quiet.” 

"Where the fuck did he go? What did you do?" Logan snarled, turning and searching for Wade, as if he was simply hiding.  

"Same thing I'm going to do to you, Mr. Howlett. I sent him to the Void," Paradox informed him.  

Logan growled before letting his claws spring free. He charged at Paradox before he too was gone the same way Wade had disappeared.  

You stayed where you were, watching Paradox. You figured you only had two choices here and there was only really one road you wanted to follow. The quickest way back to Wade and Logan.  

"You can stay here and be what you're meant to be," Paradox tried to persuade you. "Those two idiots will only hold you back, you know. We can still use you here." 

"Yeah," you agreed, feeling a smile tug at your lips. "But if you don't send me where you sent them, I'm going to kill you. And you know I can. So, what do you value more? My compliance or your life?" 

Paradox clenched his jaw, visibly irritated, and you gifted him with a smirk as you threw your arms wide.  

"Get on with it," you goaded him just as he closed the distance between you and the room spun away.  

Everything disappeared in a flash of light, swiftly followed by an all-encompassing darkness. You clawed your way free, shouts and metal clashing with metal greeting you as you finally drifted back up into consciousness.  

You squinted against the light that was shining down on you and managed to sit up. You felt lightheaded for a moment before everything settled and you realized that Logan and Wade were fighting each other. Wade had stabbed Logan through the chest with his katanas and Logan had buried his claws in Wade's sides.  

"Oh my God," you groaned, dropping your head into your hands. "I should've stayed at the TVA."  

"You've only got yourself to blame," Johnny agreed, ignoring your noise of protest. "You gonna stop those two idiots from fighting or what? They're not gonna be of any use to you like this." 

"I know, I know," you dismissed with a wave of your hand.  

"If you know, then get the hell up and get over there before Logan kills him," he told you.  

It was then you noticed Wade on his knees and Logan poised to strike, intent on taking Wade's head off with his claws. You didn't think it would actually kill Wade, but Logan seemed like he was hellbent on trying, so you hurriedly got to your feet.  

"Shit, shit, shit," you chanted as you raced over towards them.  

You were halfway there when you heard his voice.  

"Fighting each other isn't the answer, you know. It's only gonna make us lose faster," he called down from where he was perched on a metal tower several feet above you.  

He had a hood pulled up over his head obscuring his face from view, but you would recognize that voice anywhere.  

You had been hearing it for years.  

You could see the hint of blue hidden beneath the layers he was wearing. It was a different version of the suit than you had been used to seeing, but you knew without a doubt that there would still be a ‘4’ emblazoned on the chest.  

You glanced over your shoulder to lock eyes with your Johnny, half-convinced that he had somehow managed to change out of the leather jacket, white t-shirt, and blue jeans he had died in, but he was still unchanged.  

It only meant that the person up on the scaffolding above you was still alive.  

"Johnny," you whispered, feeling like the ground had been ripped out from right beneath you.  

"They're coming," the other Johnny warned, pointing off in the distance at the dust clouds that were kicked up beneath the wheels of the line of vehicles heading towards you. 

The other Johnny dropped down to the ground and Wade made a sound of approval.  

"That's one hell of a superhero landing," he praised, clapping his hands.  

You wanted to believe you were wrong, but you knew that nothing in your life had ever been easy. It wasn't until the hood was removed and you were met with the sight of an older version of Johnny that you realized maybe you should have just joined Paradox.  

It would have been a hell of a lot less painful than looking into the eyes of the man your ex-boyfriend should have become before you ripped his life away with your power.  

You glanced over your shoulder, seeking out your Johnny again, and caught him staring at the other Johnny.  

Awe, jealousy, fascination, and remorse were written into the lines of his expression. You had deprived Johnny of his future and now it was standing right in front of him. Seeing Johnny watch his older self play hero felt like a punch in the gut and you wished more than anything that your power involved time travel. You would do anything to unwrite your past mistakes and have Johnny live, even if you meant that you died. 

You wanted to apologize. You wanted to scream. You wanted to run. You wanted to hide.  

Instead, overwhelmed by all the warring instincts, you simply burst into tears. 

Author's Note: If you want to be tagged for this fic, just let me know! Any love for this would mean so much to me if you read this and liked it!! I'm so excited about this one and I really hope y'all are too. Next up in the fic rotation: Marvel Zombies/What IF?: Zombies with zombified!Logan/Reader and Bucky/Reader for Halloween!

Taglist: @shizzybarnaclee @i-left-my-cat-on-the-stove @slightlymediocree @snowyminty @i-wear-wet-socks313

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

can i request a one shot where reader has been friends with everyone in cousins for a while and has been around to see everything happen (susannah dying, the love triangle between belly, conrad and jere). fast forward to when conrad leaves the motel, he goes to reader after and they end up falling for eachother over time and reader shows conrad the love and support he deserves, and understands what he’s going through💞

A bit short, but I'm in a spooky autumn mood and these characters scream summer. Please send spooky/autumn requests

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

‘’She chose him and now I can’t fucking breathe,’’ Conrad said as you sat together on your couch. He rubbed his chest with the heel of his palm and your heart shattered. 

He had showed up at your door unannounced a little over an hour ago, backpack over his shoulder and looking like he'd been run over by a truck. His eyes were red, like he had been crying. You took him inside without asking questions, knowing he needed a shoulder to lay his tired head on. 

You listened as Conrad recounted everything that happened since they took the road to Brown. His plan to tell Belly he still loved her. The kiss against his car. The motel. 

‘’I gave her so many signs that I still loved her, but she didn't hear me. She could have turned this around and we could have fixed our relationship, but she chose Jere. So I let her go.’’ 

You reached out to squeeze his hand, the one that wasn’t on his chest. 

The situation between Belly and the Fisher boys was incredibly messy. She was your friend and you could understand that feelings were difficult at that age, but juggling between Conrad and Jeremiah’s hearts was just hurtful for everyone involved. Just because she was confused with who she wanted, who she loved, didn’t mean she had to get a taste of both before making a choice. 

Conrad released a shaky breath, trying to control his emotions and not have another panic attack. ‘’I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you. I didn’t know where else to go…’’ 

You shook your head, dismissing his apologies. ‘’I’d rather you come and pour your little heart out to me than go through everything on your own and mope.’’

‘’I don’t mope by myself—’’ 

You raised an eyebrow playfully, cutting him off.

‘’Maybe I do…’’ he conceded with a defeated sigh. 

Keeping everything inside had always been Conrad's way of coping. He rarely talked to anyone about himself or how he felt. It wasn't the healthiest approach, and you knew it, but you also understood that you couldn't force him to open up.

‘’Do you have a place to stay tonight?’’ 

Conrad sank deeper into the couch cushions, having not thought ahead. When he left the motel, he told his brother he was going to take a bus to Cousins to get the summer house back together, but he impulsively came here instead. 

‘’You can stay if you want. There’s no one in the guest room,’’ you offered.

‘’Thanks. For real.’’ He gave you a soft smile, grateful for everything. ‘’I don’t know what I would’ve done today if you had not been there.’’

‘’I’m always gonna be there for you, Con,’’ you promised, returning a smile. ‘’Right now, it might be raining, but there'll be happiness after her. Someone will turn your gray sky and paint it blue again.’’

—

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully @aerangi  @hallecarey1  @bxbyyyjocelyn @mikeyspinkcup @jackierose902109 @daisydark

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[lunarspiral1127]

So, I watched the first two episodes of X-Men 97 and here are my thoughts.

*SPOILERS*

Pros:

Morph got to do some more cool stuff during the fight scenes.

Gambit in a crop top....what? He's hot and a bad@$$.

Speaking of Gambit, he and Rogue have a lot of scenes together, which is great. I do ship them together, and I just want them to be together already.

I freaking love Storm in this. She's one of my favorite X-Men characters. Her voice after killed it again, we see her leadership and compassion as a team and family member, and she's still a freaking bad@$$. She turned some patches of sand into glass with her lightning!! However, something happens to her which I'll get to in a sec.

Magneto's UN trial. It was well done, and Magneto's speeches were pretty good. Then there's what he did after X-Cutioner tried to shoot him. Like, what the hell, show? Are you trying to make me switch to Team Magneto? Seriously, he was really good so far in the show.

Cons:

Now, I'm never a fan of love triangles unless done right. It was bad enough that we still have that with Jean, Cyclops, and Wolverine (especially since Wolverine and Jean is one-sided), which I thought Logan moved on from that but I guess not, we may get another one with Gambit, Rogue, and MAGNETO! Okay, look, I get the Rogue and Magneto thing was in the comics, but since when was that ever established in the animated series?! I never recalled anything going on between the two in the 90s show nor were there any signs of them used to being an item. If this was to give tension for the Rogue/Gambit romance, there are other ways of doing that. Yeah, it was just confusing and weird to me.

Storm losing her powers. This is gonna be a con for now cause I know she'll get her powers back somehow. But seeing her get shot and losing her powers made me lose my s**t cause how dare you do that to her?! Man, I was hoping Magneto was gonna kill X-Cutioner, and frankly, I wouldn't blame him if he did. Not after what he did to Storm. It sucks even more when you got to see how great she is as coleader, sister, and teammate.

And, now, the questions

Is it gonna be explained why Morph has the changeling look instead of his old one from the previous show?

When did Bishop come back? I like him, but I thought he went back to his timeline.

Was expecting Madeline Pryer to show up, but which one is she? Was there a switcheroo and if so, when did that happen?

Does Magneto have an ulterior motive?

When the hell was Magneto and Rogue a thing in the show?!

Will Logan ever move on from Jean?

Why Sunspot and Jubilee? Cause I wasn't feeling it. Dunno why, maybe it's because of how the Sunspot character acts cause I didn't like him much. Also, was that it from the character?

Why doesn't Rogue take one of those collars to nullify her powers so she can be able to touch someone without harming them?

And, that's all I can think of at the top of my head. Liking the show so far. Hopefully, it doesn't fumble.

[loaksky]

— 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴

the deets  — you are a warrior of very few words, yet oftentimes your gaze betrays you. this widens the rift between you and the eldest sully, but will seeking refuge with the metkayina soothe the burn? especially when the alleviation comes in the form of a certain ocean boy? 

the who — ao’nung x fem tipani!reader, a lil neteyam x fem!tipani reader

the word count — 7.1k (i thought this was gonna be longer, regardless i have zero self control)

the tags — slight e2l (you and ao’nung get off on the wrong foot), unofficial love triangle (reader has two people hooked lmao), angst (wouldn’t be me without a little heartache), fluff. 

the warnings — language, ao’nung’s a cheeky lil shit, neteyam’s in denial and makes things difficult. ao'nung gives reader a lil kith.

the notes — this is my first request! it took me a moment to finish this because i wanted to really research the tipani to characterize reader the best i could. similarly, i feel like we don’t see much of ao’nung past the point of him being a little shit in the movie, so i had to take some creative liberties regarding his character. thank you so much to the anon who requested! this is so long, holy shit, but i hope i did it justice! :) 

(also not proofread well, my bad lmaooo).

masterlist

YOU WERE BORN TO FIGHT. That was what your mother and father had told you day in and day out, from the rise of the sun, to the last eclipse. It was what they had told you when you began your training, when you had started to deepen your studies, and finally, when they clung to their final breaths in the smog of the burning jungle. 

Your village was scarce, a dying lot, as families broke off and settled farther into the jungle, high above the forest floors and into the canopies of the looming trees. 

Jake had heard about you, heard about your dwindling family, your mighty spirit. You were barely older than his eldest, just shy of ten when he’d taken you in, told the clan to revere you as their own. You were tough to crack, stoic, quiet, as you grew into a force to be reckoned with.

The only thing that chipped your facade came in the form of Jake Sully’s oldest son. 

Neteyam, you’d come to realize, was always the diligent one; courageous, firm, and commanded any space he occupied. But he was curious about you. Curious about the lone wolf who wouldn’t even bat an eye in his direction. He poked and prodded, tried as he might, to crack a smile out of you in the first year or two, but found that you gave little reaction. The slightest tilt of the corner of your lips, the most infinitesimal furrow between your brow bones. It was triumph enough, but then things started to shift. 

Though you’d softened around the Sully’s, especially Kiri who, despite being two years your junior, had doted on you like an older sister, Jake had seen potential in you and Neteyam as the fiercest duo. 

It was only normal to consistently pair you two during your training, forcing the hands of time to twine you closer together as your iknimaya drew nearer. You’d both succeeded with flying colors and it was the first time Neteyam had touched you, crushing you in a hug so tight, you felt the breath and the sense leave your body. 

You begrudgingly admit that from that moment on, you were wrapped around his finger. 

Your heart would swell dangerously behind your ribcage every time his hand would come up to pat your head affectionately, stomach twisting in on itself when he’d flash you a pearly smile after each successful hunt. Neteyam made you feel, and it thrilled and horrified you all the same.

But despite basking in the warmth of his company, of being intertwined so intricately, you still feel grossly misplaced.

The thought of letting him in on the fact that he’s swayed your heart leaves a horrid taste in your mouth. 

“It’s not like you to back down,” Kiri tells you as she helps you roll beaded tops and woven loincloths into the small satchel you’d designated for the flight to Awa’atlu. 

The humans were closing in and Jake was growing desperate. 

You stop, tongue in cheek as you settle back on your haunches. 

“Some things are better left unsaid,” you reply, hands clasping in your lap as you level Kiri with a soft gaze through your thick lashes. 

“Perhaps,” Kiri hums. “But will it settle well with you in the future when you think about your inaction?” 

You stiffen a fraction, knowing that Kiri’s insinuation is a heavy one. 

Will you be able to live without him knowing? Will it settle well when Neteyam courts another?

You doubt it will, but pride can be an ugly thing. You’d been taught by your parents, by your surroundings that reading into things farther than you must will only leave you scathed. You’re afraid to piece every lingering touch, every furtive glance, every sweet smile into something that paints an unwanted picture. 

“The worst he could say is no,” Kiri presses. “You are his equal, his dearest friend. You could never ruin that.” 

Kiri squashes every doubt you have with her encouraging words, so you take the plunge.

Neteyam is almost finished preparing for the journey when you poke your head into his tent, cheeks warm and blood pulsing erratically in your veins. 

“One last walk through the forest?” you offer.

Neteyam grins from ear to ear, excusing himself before ducking out of the tent to meet you outside. 

“Lead the way,” he gestures, voice deep like the velvet of the night sky. 

You’re clammy as you walk a few paces in front of him, tongue tied and wracked with nerves as the forest comes alive so brightly around you. The bugs chirp and croak as you cross over fallen logs and climb through the dense flora. 

You’re so deep in your head that you barely register Neteyam calling your name. It’s only when his hand clasps around your wrist that you jerk to a stop, neck craning to take in the concern that mars his freckled face. 

“Everything okay?” he asks, head tilting to get a better look at you. 

“I need to tell you something,” you blurt, swallowing down the courage threatening to escape your body. 

“Of course,” he says, hand lacing with yours. “You can tell me anything.”

A breath catches in your throat before you finally spill.

“I don’t know what our future holds, but…” you trail off, distracted with how intensely he gazes down at you. 

“But?” 

“But I know that I want you in it,” you say, blinking when you realize that’s not at all how you wanted that to come out. 

Neteyam’s head tilts again, this time confusion crosses his features. 

You try again. 

“What I mean to say is, I— well… I like you,” you admit, looking up to meet his golden gaze. 

His face softens and your heart picks up speed. 

“Oh, ________,” he whispers. 

“Maybe I’ve always felt like this, I don’t know,” you continue, steeling your resolve. “But being around you, being with you, makes me feel light. Like I don’t have to bear the weight of the burden all on my own.” 

You realize that this is beginning to go south when his mouth purses and instead of seeing you, he begins to look like he pities you. 

“I’m sorry,” is all he says as he pulls his hand from your own. “We’re friends, ________.” 

You look up at him and it feels like the forest has stilled enough for someone to strike it and shatter the peace. 

“That’s all,” he reiterates. “I’m— I’m flattered, don’t misunderstand. You’re great, lovely, but…I don’t see you in that way.” 

You recoil like you’ve been burned and Neteyam looks guilty. 

“But…” 

“C’mon,” he says, almost pleadingly. “We grew up together. You’re apart of my family. You’re like a si—“ 

“Don’t,” you whisper. “Don’t say it please.” 

Neteyam sighs, deflating. 

“I love you, you know that,” he urges. “But not in that way.” 

Your lips press together tightly, shame filling every available space within you as you feel like the most minuscule speck underneath his burning eyes. 

It’s like you’re both rooted to the earth, unable to part from the other, but you eventually fold first, backing away from his towering stance. 

“________,” he sighs, like you’re just another task he has to deal with. 

“Sorry,” you murmur. “I’m sorry.” 

And you steal off into the glowing forest. 

The waters of Awa’atlu glitter as you close in on the reefs. You lag behind the Sully’s, thoroughly taken by the prior night’s rejection. 

You almost miss the tilt of the voyage, falling even further behind. 

Neteyam peers over his shoulder, immediately noting your lack of focus as you fly with a wide berth between you and his family. 

He falls back. 

“You okay?” he asks over the flapping of wings. 

He notices the puffs underneath your eyes when your gaze flits to him, but like a wall erecting itself, your face goes blank. You lean forward on your ikran and press her to move forward. 

Neteyam is left at the rear now, watching you fall in tandem with Kiri who seems to light up at your first display of emotion. 

The sun gleams againstglinting blue tides as silence blankets the newcomers, the only thing piercing the stillness is the squawk of the birds and the ripple of the waves. 

You stand behind Kiri, staggered in a shallow of sand among the Sully's. You're the smallest of them all, hidden from view as the Metkayina begin murmuring. 

“What a freak.” 

Something tugs hard on your tail, and like muscle memory, your fist is flying. Your knuckles are caught before they strike and you look up into the foamy eyes of a towering boy whose skin is a gentle blue. 

You pull your tail back, ears flat as you level him with a nasty glare. 

The smirk playing at his lips disintegrates as Jake’s voice announces that his family are seeking refuge among the reefs. 

You turn your attention back to the front as the woman, fierce despite being with child, takes Lo’ak’s hand and thrusts it towards the sky, announcing that his extra finger denotes demon blood. 

The villagers gasp and you take a step forward, fists balled so tight you feel like they could burst through the skin. Lo’ak’s head is bowed, refusing to meet the intensity of the clan’s prying eyes, and you feel helpless.

Kiri squeezes your shoulder as Jake attempts to quell the crowd by hold up his own hands. 

The murmuring intensifies as the Olo’eyktan and Tsahik stand at a distance, staring at each other in a silent exchange. 

“Show them our ways,” the Olo’eyktan says after a final verdict. “So that they may not suffer the shame of being useless.” 

Your body is rigid, tense as another ripple of speculation flutters through the crowd. 

“My children will spearhead this by showing them the way of the water,” he says. 

A deep voice makes a noise of protest behind you and your fist tightens around the strap of the satchel slung across your body, temper beginning to tick like a bomb ready to detonate. 

The daughter of the leaders, Tsireya, is the one to show you to the marui that you’ll all occupy. It’s an empty one, uninhabited and clear of any belongings. 

Tuk runs in, tossing her things to the wayside as she begins her inspection. 

“Get settled in well, we will begin our first lesson before eclipse,” Tsireya smiles, then turns to you, trailing behind the Sully’s like their shadow per usual. 

“I’m sorry about Ao’nung,” she says quietly, and you look up at the girl whose dimples dent her rounded cheeks. 

“An apology means nothing if doesn’t come from the aggressor,” you say flatly, hiking up the roll of fabric tucked underneath your arm. 

Tsireya’s ears flatten, her smile faltering as she nods her head. 

“I suppose you’re correct,” she agrees. “The villagers are very steadfast in their ways. When change arrives, they are hesitant, but they’ll come around, promise.” 

She takes your hand and gives your fingers a squeeze. 

“Tell your friends not to be late,” she coos, pulling away from you to bound down the path you’d all come from moments before. 

When you turn, Neteyam stands before you, skin dewy under the unrelenting heat of the pounding sun. 

“Can I get this for you?” he asks, reaching for the items tucked under your arms. 

You ease away, almost as skittish as the first nights you’d joined the Sully’s all those years ago. You feel shamefully like you’re back to square one as you shake your head wordlessly and Neteyam looks down at you with an indiscernible look on his face. 

“________,” he murmurs, and you name sounds like a broken plea on his lips. 

You push past him, taking a quick survey of your surroundings as you claim the level up, hammock tightened around two support posts under a woven canopy. 

Your things are thrown haphazardly underneath the hammock and with your satchel, you’re steering quickly out of the marui. 

“Hey, kid, where you running off to?” Jake calls out. 

“Out,” is all you reply, steps quick down the unfamiliar webbing of the maruis’ woven walkways. 

You’re on edge all over again, like you have to restart all of your valiant efforts to feel any semblance of comfort among another new clan. When you’d joined the Omatikaya, you were able to grasp onto the slivers of belonging through blending into the background, but now, as you pass villagers with skin as glittering and blue as the ocean, tails strong, and figures built, you feel so grossly misplaced. 

You search for less, eyes falling near a swathe of shady trees and a shallow pool in the distance. 

Your pursuit is futile as three looming figures emerge and begin surrounding you, basking you in their shadows. 

“Are you a five-fingered freak like them?” One of them tries to swoop to grab your hand, but you recoil like their touch is acidic. 

“Leave me alone,” you grumble, attempting to push past them. 

Someone tugs sharply on your tail and you jerk back, hands and knees burrowing into the sharp grains of sand. A hand comes up to grab you by the top of your head, forcing your face skywards. 

His curly hair is braided out of his face, the purse of his lips menacing. 

“I asked you a question, weirdo.” 

You hiss and his face contorts. 

“I should—“ 

“Wune,” the voice is a warning. 

A grunt of annoyance. 

Wune lets go of your hair and pulls away from you. You all look in the direction of the voice, and your blood seems to curdle when you see the one who’d yanked your tail earlier in the day. 

Ao’nung.

His chin jerks in the other direction and the three pass each other a knowing glance before retreating, leaving you to fall into a seated position against the sand. 

You surprise yourself when tears begin to well in your eyes involuntarily. 

“You okay?” Ao’nung asks hesitantly, crouching in front of you. 

“Piss off,” you whisper, climbing to your feet as you quickly brush the tears from your waterline. 

“Wait—“ 

“I said piss off,” you hiss, stalking away. 

Awa’atlu is beautiful right before eclipse, sky bathed in orange and purples. 

You’ve rejoined the Sully’s after your encounter with the three Metkayina boys and Ao’nung. Now you’re seated with the four siblings, Tsireya, and another friendly face that you’ve been introduced to as Rotxo. 

“The way of water has no beginning and no end,” Tsireya says. “Our hearts beat in the womb of the world.” 

Your heart beats fast now, like you’ve just run from one end of the forest to another. It beats erratically under Neteyam’s unrelenting gaze. He looks like he’s dissecting you, trying to pry into your mind and you hate that things have come to this. 

You hate that one evening has shattered the careful friendship that you and Neteyam have built over the course of many tumultuous years. You want to find comfort in his presence, know with your soul that he’d tuck your hair behind your ear and tell you that things would be alright. But now you feel like you two are distant strangers. 

“The sea is your home, before your birth and after your death.” 

You want to argue that you know no home, that the wind seems to carry you where it may, but you bite your tongue and you zone out of her lecture.

You only tune back in when the hairs on the back of your neck stand at the arrival of a new body. 

“Mother and father say that it’s time to prepare for the evening meal.” 

After hearing the voice twice in the day, you recognize the timbre. 

Ao’nung stands tall, chest broad and eyes bright. 

They settle on you in an instant, and you feel indescribably smaller as Tsireya announces that she will continue during the morning’s eclipse. 

Everyone begins to stand, brushing the residual sand from their skin as they begin to file away. 

You’re startled to a stop when your name comes from Neteyam’s lips and a gentle hand latches onto your forearm. 

You look down to see strong fingers lighter than your own holding onto you. Then your gaze flits to Neteyam who stands a few feet away, words dying on his tongue. 

Ao’nung tugs lightly and you look up to meet softened eyes. 

“Can I borrow you for a moment?” he asks. He notices the apprehensive look on your face as you peel away from him, then adds, “I’ll be quick.” 

Neteyam opens his mouth to protest on your behalf, but you flash him a pensive look and he stops in his tracks, watching as you turn your slender back towards him and follow the lumbering Metkayina.

When the two of you are alone, you dig your toe into the sand, hands clasped behind your back as you wait for Ao’nung to break the silence and get on with it. 

“I want to apologize,” he finally says, when you’re out of earshot of the village and the curious Sully’s who’d noted the entire exchange. 

You look up at him, brow bone raised. 

“For?” 

“For being mean,” he says, “I was inappropriate.” 

“Is this your sister talking?” you ask crudely, but he doesn’t flinch at the venom in your tone.

Instead, he smiles down at you. 

“No,” he assures you. “One hundred percent me, promise.” 

You look down at your feet, still fidgeting with the sand. 

“I guess…” you trail off. 

“You guess?” he prods.

“I guess we’re okay,” you say hesitantly. 

Ao’nung hums. 

“Good,” he concedes. “Great. I’m glad.” 

You flash him a bored look through thick lashes and his lips twitch as he stares down at you with piercing eyes. 

“I can be dumb,” he says, grin widening. “My family says I don’t know how to act around nice things.” 

Your cheeks warm as you avoid his eyes, breaking away to catch up with Kiri and Tuk.

After dinner, in the quiet of the Sully’s marui, you lie in the hammock you claimed earlier in the day, hands folded underneath your head as you gaze at the stars. 

“My dad came from a star,” Lo’ak had said to you one night, eliciting the smallest of smiles. 

As you comb through each one, you burn to be up there. A digging desire to only know about shining bright and being wished so hard upon. 

There are nights like these where everything feels heavy, where your shoulders sag underneath the pressure of being a great warrior. You wonder what life could be like had the RDA spared your village, had you not gone off into the forest to hunt, had you—

He’s a barely perceptible shadow under the glow of the moon and ocean, slinking down the woven path between pods. 

Like a whisper of wind, you climb out of your hammock and over sleeping bodies. 

As you slip out of the marui, you don’t notice the pair of sleepy eyes on your retreating figure. 

Before he even knows what’s going on, you’re scurrying over the thick branches, following his path until he hits the intersection right before the Sully’s quarters. 

You jump down and intersect Ao’nung, hand coming over his mouth before he can shout in shock. His eyes are wide as you stand on your tip toes, other hand coming to your lips to gesture for him to be quiet. 

“What are you doing?” you hiss quietly. 

His fingers come to your wrist, nudging your palm from his mouth to reveal a beaming smile. 

“I was coming for you,” he admits. 

“Why?” you press, shaking his hold away when you realize that he’d still been grasping your wrist.

“Have you ridden an ilu before?” he asks. 

You shift uncomfortably. 

“No,” you answer shortly. 

“You wanna?” he offers. 

“No.” 

He frowns. 

“Swimming?”

“Pass.” 

“I have fruits,” he singsongs. 

“Ao’nung,” you warn.

“Is it so wrong to want to spend time with you?” he asks, hands up in defense. 

“Why would you want to?” you ask accusingly. “Your village sees us as demons and I’m included in that whether it applies to me or not. I’ll stay out of your way, just leave me alone.” 

“I don’t think you’re a demon,” Ao’nung says gently. “If anything, I- I think you’re great.” 

“You don’t know me,” you spit. 

“I know enough,” Ao’nung says with finality. “I know that you are strong and your spirit is kind. Ewya has let me feel as such.” 

Your expression is lethal, but Ao’nung doesn’t back down. 

“One night,” he says quietly. “Spend one night with me.” 

The following silence stretches eternally before something magnetic pulls you towards Ao’nung’s honeyed gaze. You chance a glance over your shoulder, met with stillness and the minute laps of the ocean on the shore. 

When you meet his eyes again, you nod once, hesitantly, and he’s taking your hand to tug you into the glowy night. 

Ao’nung returns you before the sun rises, a few early risers giving you two curious glances as he walks you to where you’d ambushed him the night before.

You wave to him hesitantly, sighing in relief when you you creep back into the marui and find everyone fast asleep, splayed over one another like a big heap. 

You climb over limbs and snoring bodies, finally settling in your hammock to watch the beginnings of the eclipsing sun brighten the village. 

You don’t notice the same bleary eyes watching you from where he’s laid on the floor, Lo’ak’s head weighing on his stomach and Tuk smushed onto his armpit. 

They’re the same eyes that watch you all morning, as his family gets up one by one, stretching their lithe limbs and tidying up before being called for the day’s first meal. 

Neteyam is watchful, stealing glances as you file behind his family from the pod to the clan circle, now buzzing with hungry villagers as the sun shines high in the sky. 

But he doesn’t say a word, silent as you choose the seat farthest from him. Quiet as you blink your eyes sleepily, barely registering Tuk’s excited blabbering about all of the new things she can make with the shells and supplies here. 

“Give it a rest,” Lo’ak grumbles from beside him. 

He snaps out of his reverie, eyes narrowing in on his brother. 

“What?” 

“You’ve been watching ________ all morning,” Lo’ak chides. “She’s locked up tight, bro. No way you’re getting her.” 

Neteyam’s blood curdles at the thought, wanting to tell his brother to shove it. But you’d shut him out the past few days, the sting of his rejection obviously driving a wedge between the two of you. 

“Shut up,” he grumbles. 

He hates that you’d gone from being inseparable to being strangers overnight. But what he hates even more is the way Ao’nung drops onto the log next to you and you don’t even flinch, just pass him a bored gaze that makes him beam. 

He watches you closely, eyes glued to your every move. 

Something ugly roils inside of him as Ao’nung offers you a braided bag and you hesitantly take a piece of dried meat from him, face morphing as you give him a nod of approval. 

Ao’nung looks proud of of himself as he balances the bag next to him on the log and leans towards you almost imperceptibly. Neteyam expects you to put distance between the two of you, but you barely bat an eye, watching intently as Ao’nung talks animatedly. 

Lo’ak scoffs beside him and Neteyam stomach turns.

Hours bleed into days, days bleed into weeks, and for once, you feel like things could be alright. The breathing gets easier, the learning comes faster, and something feels peaceful being near the ocean. 

The only thing that hadn’t been amended was the gaping hole that separated you from Neteyam, but in the company of a certain Olo’eyktan’s only son, you don’t feel the burn as much. 

You watch him now, as he treads water with Rotxo and the two Sully boys, walking them through the procedure of hunting under water and how to maximize their kills. 

“…and the reefs underwater…” 

He’s one and the same with the tides, mighty and commanding as his veined hands gesture confidently. One moment, he’s focused on his instruction intently, the next he’s glancing at you. 

You feel hot in the warm waters as your cheeks flame under a genuine smile. Neteyam follows his line of sight, body tensing in the water when he sees the shy look on your face. 

He’s not the only one who notices as Kiri feigns a gag and Tsireya pauses her spiel to giggle at the obvious exchange. 

“Oh, ________,” she whispers giddily. 

Your eyes swing to the group of girls surrounding you as Tuk lets out a gleeful laugh and pinches you under the water. 

“Ouch!” 

“________ has a crush,” Tuk singsongs obnoxiously. 

You knuckle her forehead and give her a warning glare than only sends her into a frenzy, laughing and splashing as she seeks protection from Kiri. 

“Stop that!” you whisper fiercely. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft,” Kiri moans. 

“No!” you say, a little too quickly. “No.”

No one in your circle looks convinced as Tsireya closes her lesson and leads the three of you to wade out of the waters. 

“It’s okay, you know?” Kiri says once you’ve reached your belongings and sling your trusty satchel over your front. 

You give her an inquisitive look and she throws her head back and laughs. 

“I know you sneak out to meet with Ao’nung at night,” she admits quietly. “I love my stupid brother, but it’s okay to move on.” 

You blanche, embarrassed at having been caught. 

After the first night, when he’d taken you for a swim with his ilu and you’d gasped in both fear and delight as the creature cut through the waters to sail through the air, he had started to frequently come back for you in the wee hours after eclipse. It had turned from you clocking him as he approached the Sully’s pod, to you standing off the side of the path he usually crossed, waiting for him. 

The first night you’d done that, his smile was so sweet, you felt something fluttering in your tummy. 

Among one of those late night excursions, while you both were splayed on the beach after a particularly adventurous swim, Ao’nung had told you he wouldn’t mind showing you all the beautiful things Awa’atlu had to offer, you just had to say the words. And you had reluctantly agreed, heart locked away tight. 

You hate to admit that he’s done well chiseling away every effort you’d made to remain snug behind your walls. He had coaxed you out with soft words, sweet fruits, meaningful talks. And you absolutely melted like putty in his hands. 

“We are head and heart,” Kiri says gently. “Sometimes it’s okay to listen to your heart.” 

You swallow under Kiri’s sympathetic gaze. 

“You’ve been strong for a long time, ________,” she states simply. “Your feelings are not a weakness.” 

You nod as she rejoins Tuk and Tsireya a few strides away.

A few moments later, a voice is warm in the shell of your sensitive ears. 

“What adventure awaits after eclipse?” Ao’nung asks lightly. 

You resist smiling up at him, but fail miserably when his webbed fingers come up to move hair from your face. 

“I have seeds of a spartan fruit,” you say quietly. “If you know of anywhere to plant them.” 

“I can make something work,” he assures you, thumb brushing your cheek, then pinching gently with a toothy smile. “Our usual place?” 

You bow your head, cheeks hot. 

“Of course.” 

“Alright, little leaf,” he bids, that stupid nickname he’d called you one of the first nights, sticking. “See you then.” 

He’s walking back in the direction of the other boys, cutting across the sand as they venture towards the heart of the clan’s village. 

As you pick up the remainder of your items, you don’t realize a body has stayed behind. 

“Little leaf?” It comes out as a scoff, mocking as your whirl on your heel and find Neteyam standing over you. “What’s your deal with him?”

You blink hard. 

“What are you talking about?”

“You an Ao’nung,” Neteyam bites, temper short. “What’s going on between you two?” 

Annoyance pinches the back of your brain as you look off into the roll of the shallow tides, then turn your attention back to the eldest Sully. For the first time in an infinite amount of moments, you don’t feel like falling into him. 

“He’s my friend,” you decide to say, sucking in a deep breath in hopes of calming your racing nerves. “Is that alright with you?” 

Neteyam’s glare doesn’t falter. 

“Just your friend?” he accuses. “I know you meet with him after eclipse, don’t think you have anyone fooled. Why?” 

“What do you mean why?” you counter, unable to keep the edge from your tone. 

“Why are you sneaking around with someone you barely know after dark, ________?” he grills. “Don’t be dense.” 

“Ao’nung is kind to me,” you argue. “He shows me about his life, about the villagers and the way of the water.” 

“And what, I’m not kind to you?” Neteyam bristles. “Tsireya can’t show you all of those things?” 

Your face scrunches in annoyance. 

“You’re being unreasonable, Neteyam,” you scoff. 

“I’m being unreasonable?” he asks in disbelief. “Ao’nung is just like the rest of the village, ________. You really thinking that in front of everyone else, he doesn’t shun us all the same?” 

“No, Neteyam, I don’t,” you retort. “Because Ao’nung is nice. He goes to great lengths to make me feel welcome, like Awa’atlu is home.”

“So he puts on a show and you’re so willing to be with him, huh?” Neteyam seethes quietly. “We’re your home, ________. Ao’nung is earning brownie points with his parents having you hooked, but do you really think he sees you?” 

You swallow, biting the inside of your cheek as you stare up at Neteyam in resignation. 

“You can be so callous sometimes,” you whisper, turning to leave the conversation. 

“I’m not done talking to you,” Neteyam sighs. 

“Well, I am.” 

You never make it back to the marui that night, still embarrassed that two of Sully’s had noticed that you were ditching your hammock as soon as the village turned in for the evenings. Instead, you wander around the beaches, collecting shells and little trinkets for morning handicrafts with Tuk. 

After the island glows both from the luminescence of the habitat and the moon, you stand post, waiting for the familiar pad of Ao’nung’s feet over the sand. You watch the stars up above to distract you, fingers twitching as you recall your argument with Neteyam earlier in the day. 

You know he was looking for chords to strike, but something akin to insecurity begins to root itself inside of you as the stars begin shifting further and further, indicating that a wide span of time has elapsed. The village is still, but your mind is racing as Ao’nung’s whereabouts remain a mystery. 

Regardless you wait. You wait so long, you’d resorted to planting yourself in the sand, and after what felt like infinity, the morning eclipse begins. When the village starts to turn over for the day, curtains and drapery being pulled back to reveal slowly waking families, you finally stand, heart in your hands. 

When you return to your pod, Neteyam is already up, posted on the edge of the walkway with his toes in the water. 

He’s shooting up when he sees you. 

“Where have you been?” he demands as you draw nearer. 

His face softens when he sees the first tear arch over your sculpted cheekbone. 

You quickly wipe it away. 

“No where,” you grumble, pushing past him. 

“________,” he urges. 

You deflect his reaching hands. 

“I’m serious, Neteyam,” you warn, the look in your golden eyes deadly. “Leave me alone.” 

Despite not seeing Ao’nung the entirety of the day, you return to your post the next night, hoping the night prior had been a fluke. The seeds of the spartan fruit are held tight in your fist and you use them as a vessel to wish hard. But it’s futile when the stars that map the skies continue to inch and you continue to wait. 

On the fourth night of Ao’nung’s absence, you decide to get to the bottom of things. 

You weave through the maruis, into the village’s circle right before eclipse. You spot Tsireya first, then him. He isn’t hard to miss when you’ve grown to know the drape of his curling hair and the bass of his hearty laugh. 

Rotxo, who sits opposite them, notices you first and his smile falters. 

Ao’nung’s neck cranes and his face shutters as he locks eyes with you. 

“________, hi,” he greets simply. 

“Hi?” you parrot, the spartan seeds you were beginning to use as a safety blanket clutched tight in your fist. “That’s it?” 

Ao’nung turns completely, waving off his sister and Rotxo as he stands to his full height. 

“What are you—“ 

“I waited for you,” you hiccup, shocked at the emotion that hijacks every morsel of resolve and composure you’ve always kept a tight lid on. “I waited for you, but you never came.” 

Ao’nung’s hands are on your shoulders, nudging you to a more private area, an alcove hidden among arched and gnarled tree roots. 

“________, I don’t understand,” he says quietly. “You—“ 

“I waited for you so that we could plant these stupid seeds and—“ 

Your unfurled fist catches his attention and his eyes widen when he sees that you’ve gripped them so hard in your hands, your palms are bleeding. 

He makes a move to grab you injured hand, but your fist tightens again. 

“This is inappropriate,” Ao’nung says sharply, eyes pleading. 

“What is?” you ask desperately. 

“You and me,” he says, like it should make sense. “This isn’t right.” 

Like a time warp, you’re brought back to the glowing forest before your departure. You see Neteyam’s disappointed expression, the twinge of disgust lacing his features at the thought of wanting you like you wanted him. 

Your heart shatters. 

Just when you thought you were getting over it all. Just when you thought that Ao’nung made you feel alive. Made you feel things you’d never felt before, he was extinguishing every sweet moment. If he was trying to cut ties before you could fall, it was too late. He was dousing the flames that had grown to engulf him and you don’t know how much more you can take. 

“Why would you do this?” you whisper brokenly. “I wanted to be left alone. Why would you force yourself into my life if you don’t want to be in it in the first place? Why would you make me want you?” 

Ao’nung’s expression turns sour. 

“I want to be there for you, ________,” he says fiercely. “You shine so bright and you are so incredible, you don’t even know it, but I can’t do this.” 

“Why?” you hoarse. 

“You are promised to someone else,” he says vehemently. “This entire time, I have sought you out with the intention of making you mine, but your heart belongs to someone else.” 

Your face crumples. 

“What are you— I don’t—“ 

“Neteyam told me to stay away from you,” Ao’nung says. “That you two would solidify your union once it was safe to go back home.” 

“No,” you interject. “That’s not—“ 

“Don’t be cruel,” he says quietly. “I don’t think I can take it.” 

“No, Neteyam and I are nothing,” you spit. “We—“ 

The fury hits you full force as you pull away from Ao’nung and stalk away. 

You don't you hear him rushing to catch up with you. It’s like you’re underwater, hearing muffled as you map the woven path to the Sully’s marui. 

Everything is absolutely red as you clock him.

Neteyam is laughing with Lo’ak and Kiri when you approach. 

The expression on your face is murderous when he looks up and he pales as he stands to meet your barreling figure. You’re shoving him away from you as soon as he steps in your immediate space. 

“How could you?” you cry out. 

Kiri and Lo’ak’s eyes are wide at your outburst, the warrior of few words teeming with anger and emotion as you square your shoulders. Kiri nudges Lo’ak’s shoulder and gestures towards their marui to give you two some privacy. 

“________—“ 

“You told Ao’nung we were promised to each other?” you press, finger jabbing his chest heatedly. 

His face contorts as his spine straightens. 

“Yes, ________, I did,” he confirms, nearly smug.

“Why?” you cry out. “After everything, why would you—“ 

“You’re mine, ________,” he blurts, fists shaking as he closes in on you. “All mine, and I refuse to let anyone have you. Especially Ao’nung.” 

The boy who stands before you is unrecognizable, so taken by anger and envy. 

“You’re heartless,” you whimper. 

“Me?” he asks incredulously, voice breaking as he comes up to grab you by your biceps. “You– You made me fall for you and suddenly you–“ 

“I liked you first,” you choke, eyes searching his wildly. “I liked you first and you told me that you were sorry. In that moment, I could see how you saw me. Pitiful, coarse, misplaced. Ao’nung doesn’t make me feel that way.” 

“Ao’nung doesn’t—“ 

“For once in my life, I feel okay. I feel like I can finally breathe, and that upsets you? You’re jealous? All I’ve known is the forest from a distance, coinciding with clans that make me feel like an outsider! When it’s me and him, that’s all it is, just two souls existing together. This is the first time I can say such.” Your voice is hoarse, drawing wandering eyes. 

Neteyam’s face softens. 

His entire time growing up with you in the forest, he’d never seen you display as much of yourself as you had in this moment. He can feel it pouring from you, every feeling you’d kept locked tight in your heart. He sees it in your eyes, nearly feral as you tremble in his hold. 

“You love him?” It comes out more like a statement, his chest heaving. 

Love. A word that holds the weight of a thousand suns. Four letters that seal your fate. 

Did you love Ao’nung? 

No. You didn’t, but maybe…maybe you could learn to. You could learn to love him just how he’d learned you, how he meticulously dismantled every doubt you had in him. 

“I could,” you whisper. 

Neteyam’s grasp loosens and he looks wounded as he backs away from you, peering down at you like he doesn’t recognize the person you’ve become. 

As the cloud dissipates, you become aware of the eyes watching the entire debacle. 

You shrink, mortified that nearly the entire village knows of your feelings for their Olo’eyktan’s son. 

You turn on your heel to flee, but a sturdy body stands a few feet away, leaned against one of the twisted trunks of a tree supporting the surrounding maruis. 

You swallow. 

“A-Ao’nung,” you splutter. 

His smile is soft, knowing, as he pushes off the tree and comes to stand in front of you. 

“You’re popular, little leaf.” 

You buckle, head bowing in embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry, Ao’nung,” you murmur. “I…” 

His hand comes around your head and pushes your face into the smooth skin of his chest. 

You soften.

“Why are you sorry?” he asks, hand caressing your loosening braids.

“This must be embarrassing,” you whisper. 

He spins your bodies, tugging you back down along the path you marched to confront Neteyam. 

“You could never embarrass me,” he assures you, guiding you towards the village circle. One of his hands turns yours over, inspecting the tiny wounds as you two hurry along. “Let’s get you fixed up, okay?” 

You can barely swallow around the lump forming in your throat as he climbs up into an empty pod used for treating the wounded and helps you up. 

“Sit,” he coaxes, striding to the ledges of supplies, meticulously organized by his own mother. 

You obey, tears streaking your cheeks as you tuck one leg under the other. You don’t feel like the mighty warrior Jake and many of the Omatikaya have made you out to be all of these years. 

You feel small, and you feel weak. All because of a boy. 

“Hand, please,” he says gently, kneeling in front of you with an arm full of remedies. 

You oblige, offering your shaky hand, palm up. 

The blood has dried, revealing small little angry lacerations that sting when he pours a thin liquid to clean them. You hiss and the tears start again. 

“Stop,” he murmurs, wiping away the rivulets that slip. “Stop crying.” 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, fist balling involuntarily when he slathers a viscous mixture on your palm that soothes the burns. 

“Stop apologizing,” he says softly. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

He places a leaf over your palm and then wraps your hand in a soft cloth that sates the ache. When you’re all patched up, he brings your fingers to his lips, then holds them tightly in his lap. 

“I need to hear it for myself,” he sighs.

“Hear what?” you croak. 

“Every moment I spent with you since your arrival has been precious to me,” Ao’nung says. “I want you to say it to me.” 

You’re in knots, swallowing hard as he blurs. 

You take a gasping breath as you will yourself not to cry. 

“I want you, Ao’nung. I see you,” you warble. “And I’m petrified to admit it because admitting it means I’m being vulnerable, but I want you to see me too.” 

His lips curve, pulling you forward so that you have to catch yourself on your uninjured hand. 

“You scared me for a little there,” he whispers, mouth a hairsbreadth from yours. “I don’t know what I would do if all that time we spent together meant nothing to you.” 

You swallow for the thousandth time. 

“Never,” you shudder. 

His smile widens. 

“You’re not gonna stop me, are you?” he asks, lips ghosting yours as his eyes search your own. 

“No,” you murmur.

“Good,” he sighs.

He kisses you like you’re delicate, pulling you into him to taste every unspoken word you’ve held onto since the first night he came to you. 

When he pulls away from you, forehead resting against yours, he’s so quiet when he whispers. 

But you hear him all the same. 

“I see you, little leaf.” 

an — AHH second full length oneshot is done! if you've made it this far, i thank you again! i had so much fun writing this request and once more want to express gratitude the anon to shot me this idea! ALSO purposefully left out details of their little rendezvous' so that i could do some drabbles for them in the future! next fic is (finally) the lo'ak x reader i've been blabbing about.

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