#or him in the vat of cheese...

[8cfc00]

i think the best thing about that hermie thing i just posted is how much of it is just CANON..... the silver dollar with hermie's face on one side and the theatre mask on the other is real... and so is him wearing normal boy makeup over the joker makeup... and on the bottom of the last page he's in space and he DID canonically embrace the void... there is something so wrong about that teen that is so very intriguing and so very FUN to explore

[glubandeepspace]

i hope theres an event where rafayel becomes a 5 inch plushie and mc puts him in the washing machine

[cinnamnt]

every time i eat feta cheese i think about spy fox dry cereal. the mr udderly(?) line delivery when he says something about feta cheese in a cutscene i don’t remember the entirety of the game except that one singular voice clip. that has stuck with me my whole life i eat feta cheese every other day and say it in my head like that

[twisted-tales-told]

Connor Mcdavids name deserves a trigger tag

[lickmylundqvist]

LEAVE ME ALONE I DONT CARE

[cera-writes]

How about Nightcrawler falling for Remy's honorary sibling?

Moonlight Sonata

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x gn!reader Tags: fluff, humor, flirting, baking, slight competition, developing feelings

The scent of fresh pastries mingled in the air, a peculiar scent that had become strangely comforting to Kurt Wagner.

He stood in the doorway to the kitchen, watching you knead dough with surprising finesse for someone who could lift a priceless artifact from a guarded vault without breaking a sweat. You hadn't even noticed him yet. You were in your own little world it seemed.

Gambit, ever the charmer, had introduced you to the X-Men as a "distant cousin" from New Orleans with a knack for "acquiring rare finds." Professor X, ever the pragmatist, saw the potential in your unique ability to manipulate probability, making you an invaluable asset for training the team. But over time, Kurt had discovered you were more than just a valuable asset.

You possessed a dry wit that rivaled Logan's, a fierce protectiveness that mirrored Ororo's, and a surprising talent for pastry. Your μπεκλαβές (mezeklaves), a flaky Greek cheese pie, had become a favorite amongst the X-Men, even the health-conscious ones (though they wouldn't admit it).

Tonight, however, the kitchen was empty except for you. Kurt, ever the teleporter with a conscience, decided to make his presence known with a gentle, "Guten Abend."

You whirled around, a dusting of flour on your cheek, a playful smile tugging at your lips. "Kurt! Ya scared the bejeezus outta me." Your voice was laced with an accent similar to Gambit's, which Kurt found endearing.

Kurt chuckled, a low rumble that seemed to emanate from the shadows themselves. "Apologies, Meine Freund. I did not mean to startle you." He bamfed beside you, the brimstone scent that clung to him momentarily overwhelmed by the aroma of butter and sugar.

"No harm done," you said, patting some flour off your apron. "Just surprised to see you here. Thought you preferred the… darker corners."

"There is a certain charm to moonlight," Kurt admitted, "but the company is even more delightful."

Your smile faltered slightly, a flicker of surprise in your eyes. "Are you… complimentin' me, fuzzy elf?"

"Only stating a fact," Kurt replied, his own blue fur dusting a faint pink. "You bring a certain… warmth to the kitchen. A welcome change from the usual… chaos."

Your smile returned, wider this time. "Well, someone has to keep Remy in line," you said, a playful jab at your honorary brother. "Though between you and me, I'm the better cook. Jus' don't tell him that."

Their conversation flowed easily, filled with shared stories and laughter. As the night deepened, Kurt found himself lingering longer, captivated by the way your mischievous glint sort of mirrored Remy's in your eyes. When you finally stretched, a hint of weariness in your movements, Kurt surprised himself by blurting out, "Perhaps you would… care to join me for a walk… under the actual moonlight, I mean."

You raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in your eyes. "Just the moonlight, huh, Kurt? No shadows, no surprise teleports to some forgotten realm?"

Kurt felt a familiar warmth creep up his neck. "Only… pleasant company, my friend. I assure you."

You considered him for a moment, then a slow smile spread across your face. "Alright, Kurt. But if you try anythin', I won't hesitate to manipulate the odds and send you tumblin' into a vat of flour."

A teasing glint flickered in your eyes, and Kurt couldn't help but grin back. "A vat of flour, you say? Sounds like a messy proposition. Perhaps a stroll on the balcony would be a safer choice?" He gestured towards the large glass doors leading outside, moonlight already casting an ethereal glow on the patio furniture.

You dusted a stray bit of flour off your shoulder, your gaze lingering on him for a beat longer than necessary. "Maybe you're right, fuzzy elf. Sides, I wouldn't want to risk ruinin' these." You gestured towards a fragrant pan of pastries cooling on the counter. "Remy's been braggin' about my skills to Stormy all week. Gotta keep up appearances, right?"

Kurt chuckled, a warmth blooming in his chest. "Storm wouldn't dare challenge your culinary prowess, even with Remy vouching for her. But perhaps I could offer a different kind of challenge on our walk?"

You quirked an eyebrow, a playful challenge in your voice. "Oh yeah? And what kind of challenge might that be, Nightcrawler?"

Kurt leaned closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "How about a test of your probability manipulation skills? We could see who can find the most… interesting object under the moonlight."

A slow smile spread across your face, the mischievous glint in your eyes mirroring his own. "Now that's a challenge I can get behind. Just don't come cryin' to me if you end up teleporting into the Danger Room by accident."

Kurt threw his head back and laughed, the sound echoing through the quiet kitchen. "Never underestimate Kurt Wagner, Schatz. Let's just say, I have a certain… affinity for finding unexpected things."

With a playful wink, you grabbed a clean dish towel and wiped your hands. "Alright then, furball. Lead the way. But be warned, I have a knack for finding trouble… and sometimes, trouble finds me."

Kurt offered you his arm, a genuine smile playing on his lips. "Then perhaps tonight, trouble will find something delightful instead."

Together, you stepped out onto the moonlit balcony, the promise of a playful competition and a blossoming connection hanging heavy in the cool night air.

[t-horn-n]

— clean up crew

PAIRING: miguel o’hara x reader (gender-neutral)

GENRE: hurt/comfort

SUMMARY: he thinks that you take too many risks on missions.  you think he’s a hypocrite.

“I don’t think you’re listening to me, Miguel,” you berate.

Your anger feels like a vat of boiling water beneath your rib cage.

“No, you’re not listening to me,” Miguel retorts.  “If you were, we wouldn’t still be talking about this, thirty minutes later.”  His voice sounds pinched and low.  

It’s at times like these that you think it would be much more simple if you just hated him.  If you could take all of the things you felt about Miguel O’Hara and exchange them for that single-minded five letter word.

“You’re only listening to me enough to argue with me,” you insist.

“But how many times have we fought about this, querida?  You’re always the one to start it.”  

You stand between him and the door to his office in the Spider-Society’s headquarters, so he focuses on a holographic dot map of reported anomalies.  He never likes to sit still when you fight.  At work, he pretends to swipe through reports or analyze charts.  At home, he’ll get up to fix himself a mug of decaffeinated coffee or clean the dishes in the sink or fold the laundry you left on the kitchen table.  You’re often arguing with his back.  You try very hard not to resent that, or rather, not to resent him.

“I would drop it if you would just listen to me.”  It’s mortifying that your voice shakes when you’re angry.

He thinks that you take too many risks on missions.  You think he’s a hypocrite.

“I have,” he says, exasperated.  “But this is the third time this month that you’ve gotten injured—”

“Bruises don’t count, Miguel.”

“Let me finish,” he warns.  “You sprained your wrist two weeks ago.  The month before that you pulled a muscle in your neck.  In May you dislocated your shoulder.  Last year you were out for three months when you fractured your collarbone.  You throw yourself around like you’re unbreakable.” 

“Oh yeah?” you hiss.  “What about you?  You flung yourself into that collapsing building on Tuesday.” 

“And you notice that I am unhurt.” 

“Right.”  You roll your eyes.  “Because you’re just so perfect, boss.  The strongest.  The smartest.”

His shoulders tense. 

“I’m worried that one day you’ll break and they won’t be able to fix you,” he tells you.  “If I did what was good for you, I’d send you to the clean up crew.” 

Your face heats.  That’s mean, you both know it.  It makes you want to be meaner.

“Oh, because you always know what’s best for everyone?  Honey, don’t you think you’ve let all this power go to your head?” 

“No, I—”

“‘Clean up crew.’  Sometimes you’re such a goddamn asshole, Miguel.  Remember when that Vulture got away on Earth-1014 and totaled a neighborhood because the team was across town taking care of a bank robbery?  That was your call.  And when Hobie broke his arm?  That was thanks to your directions.  The reason why—”

As if you were doused with ice water, you stopped talking.

“Go on,” Miguel says, but it’s more tragic than heated.  When he looks at you, his eyes are glassy.

You clench your fists such that you can feel the prick of your fingernails against your palm.  

Clean up crew.  God.  

“I’m done with this conversation.”  And then you’re out the door.

He’s already at home sitting at the kitchen island when you open the door.  Something anxious has been festering beneath your skin for the past three hours and it’s still there, simmering, as you kick off your shoes, taking your time to put them on the shoe rack.  Then you grab a Dr. Pepper from the fridge and crack it open before leaning across the island towards him.  

A plate of the leftover lasagna from Olive Garden sits in front of him.  He looks at you now.  You’ve got a feeling that you appear as tired as he does.

“I’m sorry,” you say.  “I was cruel.  You’re right and I’m sorry.” 

Miguel blinks at you over red sauce and ricotta cheese.

“I—” he starts.  He looks down and drags his fork through noodle.  You notice that he’s got a speck of something at the corner of his lips.  “I do regret the neighborhood on 1014.  And Hobie’s arm.  I regret it most when I’m watching you get carted off to treat another injury.” 

“I know,” you reply.  “And, God, no one blames you for 1014, and Hobie only likes to give you a hard time.  I’m sorry.” 

“I shouldn’t have said I would send you to the clean up crew.” 

“No, probably not.  But I shouldn’t have called you an asshole.” 

He nods, slowly, and your shoulders relax.  

“We’ll talk more after you eat,” says Miguel.

“Alright.”

— m. list

[sarnai4]

The Real Deal

The Penguins of Madagascar is a great show for many reasons, but I feel like one is very underrated. Despite being a comedy, it has good villains. I have seen series where the comedy becomes a bigger part, so villains are written as playful obstacles or too silly to really be taken seriously. That does not happen here.

Hans is a villain who not only acts as an antagonist for the show, but he also connects to Skipper's past, adding new layers to the already mysterious nature of the Denmark incident. Because of whatever happened, Hans is that type of villain who won't kill the heroes. He even mentions how he didn't want to fry Skipper in a real volcano. He just wants to make him miserable. These villains are so dangerous because death isn't their goal. In a sense, torture is.

Dr. Blowhole is on the other end of this. He makes it very clear that he wants Skipper dead. Between making him even "most importantly" forget how to swim (as he falls into the ocean, mind you), this dolphin has a penguin-seeking middle. He has plans to make the world suffer for his pain and will destroy anyone in his path.

Rat King is a surprisingly fun villain to me. He easily could have just been the dumb jock kind of enemy who's basically an older version of a high school bully. Despite that, he's pretty clever too, shown when he hustled the penguins out of their habitat. He's also way more ruthless than I gave him credit for being. He had a vat of acid somehow and was going to use it to kill them.

Kuchikukan was not a villain I ever expected to see in the series. Evil spirits weren't on my radar, but this is probably the only time I won't complain about their presence. He was so much fun! He mastered the combination of "light-hearted jokester who messes with the mere mortals" and "all-powerful being who can and will destroy the Earth." That's not an easy balance to strike. It's such a great time to watch him go from an almost laughable threat due to his host body, then show how much he can still do. By the time the episode is over, I know why he was able to destroy a world inside of a cheese loaf.

Blue Hen was a nice way to give the penguins a psychological threat. She knew how to come after them where it mattered most. Go after Kowalski's obsession with science and go after Skipper's position as leader. It's a shame that she only was in season 3 because it would have been fun to see what else she did with more time.

Last, but certainly not least, X. Just X because he's been an animal control officer, zookeeper, exterminator, fishmonger, storekeeper, and unemployed. Of them all, he is my favorite. I love this character so much. He's also got something going for him that I feel is unique to him. You can see the downward spiral of X throughout each episode he's in. Gradually, he becomes more and more unhinged. It makes sense that he's one of the only human villains because he's so competent that he doesn't even need to know what the penguins are saying in order to stop them from doing everything they want. He just was the pinnacle of competency to the point of even freaking Skipper out because he kept failing against him in the zookeeper episode. Through it all, we see X go from this super officer of animal control, then more and more, he loses it because of the penguins. He even gets a cameo in an episode where he's just throwing chopsticks of a poster with the penguins on it and is later shown to have bowling pins painted as penguins. I almost feel bad for him since he really did want to just do his job, but there comes a point when you have to relinquish your obsessions and he's an example of why.

The other villains were also fun to me, but these were my favorites. PoM didn't have to try hard with its villains, but they still did and I really appreciate that.

[joe-spookyy]

saw traps in order and whether or not i would survive them

saw iii

classroom trap - jesus fuck. i think i might just die here. like. i probably Could. but i don’t know if i would even have the willpower? like i feel like i would rather just explode. survivability 2/10.

angel trap - yeah i’m getting out of here. i’m no bitch, and i would dunk my hand in that jar real quick and speedy like, and then get right to work on the lock. i could hype myself up real quick, and honestly, i feel confident that i could shake off the acid and not even cause that much damage to my hand. survivability 9/10.

shotgun collar - i am not a doctor. so this is a little iffy. but i honestly feel like i might actually be able to pull this off without getting shot by that thing. i will manually make his heart beat beat. i’ll give that nasty old man mouth to mouth for as long as i have to, and then i’ll brush my teeth for seventeen minutes straight to get the taste out. i also think i could do a good enough diy lobotomy that the pressure on his brain would let up at least a little. i think with that he would survive long enough for jeff to get through his traps, but if that’s looking iffy, i have a backup plan. i’m seducing amanda and i’m going to get her to let me out of the collar. we’re most certainly getting yuriful in there just for fun no matter what, so i might as well weaponize it. backup plan three i also think i could take the collar off without detonating it. cant be that hard. i have a small head. also, i’m not letting amanda shoot me at the end because again, she would be in love with me by now. all things considered, survivability 8/10.

jeff’s box - yeah i’m breaking out of here no problemo. does this even count as a trap? i don’t really care. survivability 10/10.

the freezer room - i’m wiggling out of those chains even if i have to dislocate my wrists. but also i think i would be able to convince jeff to let me out a lot quicker. i’m pretty tolerant to the cold, and also my beautiful nude body would be so attractive to jeff that he would forgive me for not stopping his son from dying and set me free. survivability 8/10. as jeff, there’s no real threat to me here. i’m saving her and getting out just fine. survivability 10/10.

the pig vat - WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!!! OH MY GOD. this shit is fucking foul. i just heated up my grilled cheese and this is what you show me. i mean obviously jeff chose kindness and let him out eventually but jesus. i’d probably kill myself afterwards out of disgust. survivability 7/10 (considering the suicide probability) but i would never eat meat again. as jeff i’m letting him out way quicker, having a little bit of a hard time putting my hand in the goop, but ultimately escaping with both of our lives. survivability 10/10.

the rack - OW! OW! OW! jesus FUCK! they are not playing with these nasty ass traps! i would not survive this. what the fuck. my head and limbs are so getting ripped off. fuck my stupid life. 0/10 survivability. as jeff i’m fine. lickety spit i’m pulling the key off with my head far out of the way. 9/10 survivability (just in case i somehow fumble and get shot.)

eric matthews bathroom trap - yeah he seemed to have an easy enough time of it and i’m way smarter than him. it was clearly way easier than the initial bathroom trap. and i wouldn’t beat up amanda or be a cunt about all of it because i’m niceys, so therefore she wouldn’t kick my stump leg and leave me to die. 8/10 survivability.

jeff’s final test: i’m nice so i would not kill him and thus would not be trapped to die. i would leave and call the police so they would arrest him. i’m not stupid. survivability 10/10.

overall film survivability considering 9 traps (but 12 individual people’s chances when put through said traps) 7.5/10. nasty ass movie and nasty ass traps but i’m built different.

[weizhentian]

Iron Warriors Olympics

They get their name from planet Olympia, of course.

Different warbands send representatives to compete. Idk if it's exclusively Space Marines or if we get Beastmen.

Winners get lots of olive oil.

Let's have them all compete naked just like the good old days.

The host planet will often tear town an entire city to build an arena that will only be used for the Iron Olympics once and never used again, displacing millions.

Iron Warriors worlds are not known for being cheerful places. Mostly likely the games are hosted in a miserable crap sack like Medrengard where the food and atmosphere suck.

Attendees will complain but they're a captive audience, in a sense.

Smart teams will pack meals for the entire event in case the local food sucks.

Iron Warriors engineers are perfectly capable of creating beds sturdy enough for Iron Warriors to have sex on, but hosts can and will provide flimsy anti-sex beds out of spite.

Warband teams will often get booed if their leader is perceived to have acted dishonorably: fleeing when his allies needed him, or pretending to surrender to get his enemies to lower their guard and bypassing through their defenses for a dirty victory.

Actually, if you were a bad host when it was your turn to host the Iron Olympics, your team will get booed too.

If you set a farm world on fire, one that produced the olive oil and goat cheese Iron Warriors crave, you will catch heat as well.

Rival teams may even send professional booers to jeer at teams whose leaders are perceived as dishonorable.

Wealthy attendees are liable to get kidnapped and assassinated.

Sometimes the teams of dishonorable warbands get stuck in comical booby traps and are unable to compete.

Like being kidnapped by fake security guards and held in a colorful "baby jail", being made to jump through bureaucratic hoops to pass through security.

Or falling into a vat of goo.

There's a booby trap threat every year. Sure, the Iron Olympics security team sweeps the arena for spiked pits, weakened support beams, and acid traps but nobody's perfect.

Can't rule out warp entities causing mischief at the games.

Sometimes the shooting champion will straight up point a gun into the audience and kill someone, even if it means being disqualified.

It may be legal to kill your opponent in sports like fencing.

So much drama about contestants having unfair advantages due to Chaos mutations and bionics. It's bad form to cause a fuss when your opponent has prosthetics for lost body parts, though.

All those Iron Warriors are on performance-enhancing drugs anyhow so there's no way to enforce a drug policy. Unless they must commit to sobriety for a month before the games.

[cellu-lightreading]

Day 9- Euphoria

Your young years are supposed to be filled with self-destructive decisions, at least that’s what TV tells me. I don’t think that they imagined what my friends are doing. I mean, I guess it’s a little cliché. Lots of kids move out of their parents’ house as soon as they possibly can to do all the stuff their parents didn’t approve of. Lots of kids move in with their friends thinking it will be the best time ever. A staggering amount of young people use how hot they are to make money online. I guess the difference is most of them are not over 500 pounds trying to concoct ways to get fatter.

I’m not sure it’s fair to say we’re like most other gainers either. After all, most gainers would hit 500 and wonder if they’re getting too big to function in human society. The question becomes: how do you support yourself?

“We don’t. That’s what the internet is for.” Robin was the pragmatic one who was good at planning. As a teen, he disguised his interest in gaining in sports.  He joined the football team and let the coach demand that he eat big and grow big. The whole time he knew that when he quit sports that his newly expanded appetite wouldn’t stop, but all the muscle he had gained would dissolve into fat. Now he’s so big that his old jersey wouldn’t even be able to cover the giant shelf of moobs that sit on top of his belly, but he is an absolute beast at eating contests.

Robin suggested turning our apartment into the perfect fantasy for feeders, chasers, and encouragers to watch. One glutton willing to show off every stretchmark of their six-foot wide belly already drives them wild, imagine four.

It all goes just as he said when we get our first viral clip. The four of us moving around on a bed frame turned the poor thing into tiny pieces of scrap metal in the middle of a stuffing. The sound of creaking things is practically ambient noise in a house where nothing is built to withstand the weight of even one of us. Why stop eating for that? We were enjoying  ourselves with bucket after bucket of fried chicken and fries. It was already so fattening that grease would drip down our fingers and mouths, then we had the nerve to start dipping the food in vats of cheese and gravy.

This was really Davie’s idea. He was a fat kid, so he’s been experimenting with the most pleasurable and wildest combinations of food for years. Finishing off a pint of ice cream by eating it with a couple stacks of McDonald’s pancakes? That’s normal for Davie. It’s also why his blood sugar levels are obscenely high. He doesn’t even care ever since he found out he can use insulin and turn all his worst fattening instincts to get even fatter. It’s his voice at the end of the clip, right after the bed collapses asking: “What are you guys thinking of for dessert?”

A house with four growing superchubs has certain logistical problems that have only gotten worse as we feed each other. All the walking required just to take out the trash makes it the least favorite chore in the house. But we’re also getting to the point where we need just to take care of ourselves. None of us can bend to the ground and tie our shoes. Even if we get most of our stuff delivered, someone has to be able to fit behind the wheel of the car- seatbelt extension or not.

“That’s where in person feeders come in.” Troy suggested. He’s the most conniving of the group. He literally wore his parents down until they gave up and enabled him through his teenage years. Now he’s 22 and considers a 5 minute walk an intense workout that should leave everyone out of breath and drenched in sweat like him. “Countless boys want to come experience the house. Let’s see who can really handle it. Encouragers will relish the chance to help you shower if you tell them it’s their opportunity to rub every square inch of your body and feel between your folds. They will jump at the chance to clean up if you tell them about how you made the mess by falling asleep after an hour long binge. If the price for a butler is that they call us fat ass pigs, which we already say to each other because it’s true, I think it’s worth it.”

That little tidbit is how we started getting other men in our house. The feeders would come do everything for us just as Troy wanted. Muscular men would come through the house and put down cinderblocks to reinforce the couch and clean the kitchen. The prices ended up being a little flexible. It could just be a tease here and there. Sometimes they did it to feel the folds of our belly on their head while they sucked our dicks. We would make videos with them and they would charm us completely.

The problems started when Robin and one of the feeders started getting really close. They were texting all the time and he was coming over a lot. Robbie had gotten attached, and it was evident to everyone but him. He did everything but make Pinterest boards for the wedding. The feeder wasn’t nearly as interested; he was just looking to live out some fantasies.

So it didn’t mean anything to him when Robin was gone but Troy answered the door one afternoon. It didn’t mean anything to him that he fed Troy a buffet of McDonald’s. It didn’t mean anything to him when Troy kissed him and seduced him and fucked him. It didn’t mean anything to him that they did every day of the rest of that week. But it meant something to Robin.

When Robin saw that Troy had uploaded a video of the two of them to his page, he was distraught. He chewed out Troy who could only defend himself by saying that the feeder didn’t think they were exclusive. He had a hard and heartbreaking conversation with the feeder who never once thought about how he would hurt Robin. Lastly, he came to me with a gallon jug of ice cream and a tote bag of toppings to cry on my shoulders.

The hard parts of life were fully my domain in the house. I couldn’t start trying to gain until I could support those dreams myself. At 16, I got a job at fast food chicken place and spent my checks and my late nights in high school and college munching on all the greasy food I could handle at once. The more time I had to work, the more money I had in my bank account, the more I was eating. The boys had appointed me the dad friend, and I was the one up late at night mindlessly eating a pie and paying bills with sticky fingers. I was the one who balanced the house’s budget in the morning and relaxed with a beer at night.

When boys start acting like teenagers, you need an adult to step in. I consoled Robin until the early morning, letting him eat his feelings until he fell asleep in my bed. I shook Troy down until he felt some remorse and apologized. When it was all over, Davie brought me a small bowl of ice cream, wrapped his arms around me and said,

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the drama of a Euphoria episode, but you’re a good enough friend that we never worry about that stuff.”

[delinquentbookworm]

thoughts about Henry and Mercedes, after episode 47

thinking about Henry and Mercedes leaving their home, their entire plane of existence, to go and do their best to care for the people that their sons sacrificed and left for dead. the absolute hell they must have gone through to establish a point of safety and peace in all that chaos and violence. it's a terrifying world of cannibalism and memory stealing and various factions struggling for power, but even so, they wouldn't hide Oakvale. if they did then the people looking for help wouldn't be able to find them. so they're exposed and vulnerable and every time a group of attackers comes along looking to hurt them or exploit them, the first thing Henry and Mercedes do is try to make peace. try to offer them shelter, ask them if they really want to be enacting all this violence. and sometimes that works! and sometimes it doesn't.

Henry stewarding Oakvale and being terrified of turning into Barry. being terrified that he might be slipping without realizing it, he could be falling under the Doodler's influence. is he encouraging the villagers to idolize him? is this a cult? he fuckin hopes not, but would he even be aware of it if he was? he's seen the way people act in this world, so convinced that what they're doing is totally normal, even as they tear someone limb from limb, even as they're pushing other people into vats of molten cheese.

Mercedes leaving her life behind and taking up arms, learning how to kill to defend her people. she gets good at it. really good at it. they both wonder if this is the doodler too, if she's being changed, if she's starting to enjoy it. Henry assuring her that this isn't her responsibility, she doesn't have to do this. Mercedes getting fuckin pissed off whenever he suggests that she isn't just as responsible, as if Lark and Sparrow aren't her sons as well, as if she doesn't have just as big a role in everything that happened.

occasionally, they get phone calls from back home, and it's never anything good. Ron calls them to let them know that Darryl died. then a call from Terry Jr, Ron disappeared and they think he drowned. Henry agonizes about whether or not he can justify going to their funerals. Henry normally doesn't leave Oakvale, doesn't like leaving it undefended, doesn't trust Barry on his own, even with the bracelets (they had to move the bracelets from his ear to his hand after they caught him trying to cut his ear lobe off to get rid of them). but just one day back home would be minutes in this world. surely that's okay. surely he can make that exception to go say goodbye to his friends.

both times, he's terrified that he's going to come back to ruin and devastation. both times he feels incredibly guilty to be able to leave, to be able to take a day off, when billions of others can't. both times he gives flowers grown on the world that Darryl and Ron were born on, before code purple swapped everything round. both times, Glenn offers him a joint, asks to at least get a drink together before he runs back to the old world. both times, Henry declines and disappears before he can get too comfortable, before he can be tempted by the safety and the calm, before he can be convinced to stay

in the present day, Lark and Sparrow didn't seem surprised that Mercedes had passed away. they already knew. so Henry must have called to tell them at the time. were Lark and Sparrow expecting it, did they see it coming? how long had it been for them, since they'd last seen her? how long had it been for Mercedes, how long had she gone without seeing her beautiful boys, before she died?

thinking about Henry without his wife, without his friends, without his sons, caring for a village full of traumatized and terrified people, the only family he has left is his abusive father, living in a world that is constantly trying to destroy everything he's built, and the fuckin emotional fortitude it must take to still, after all that, offer the Doodler a cup of chamomile tea.

[risetherivermoon]

incoming dndads !!ep46 spoilers!!! & long rant!!

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.

fuck man- hermie only lived for a lil while and it was mostly terrible- im...fuck dont talk to me, im so sad over this, in mourning actually-

like oh my god he was only 2!!! his life consisted of both of his dads not wanting him, his life being a lie, his existence being a joke, his adopted parents not understanding him at all, his friends ignoring him, he fell into a vat of boiling cheese- BITCH HE NEVER GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHO HERMIE IS HE NEVER GOT TO LEARN THAT HE CAN JUST BE HERMIE FUcfkfkkcklk

imo, hermie has had feelings for normal for a while, which is why he decided to go to the dance with him and make up a random reason for it (being that he's trying to romance scary) because he's scared of his own genuine feelings for people and so he's hiding them by acting and pushing norm away, especially when normal confesses his own feelings for hermie, so when he realizes 'oh shit...im actually gonna die,' he ofc wants it to be dramatic, but as he's about to say it he fucks it up, doesn't say a one-liner like he wants to, and instead confesses his feelings to normal,

i love hermie sm, i hope hes alright somehow

[therighthandofvengeance]

Ivanova: Sheridan reminds me of grilled cheese—

Franklin: he’s cheesy?

Garibaldi: you find his simplicity comforting?

Ivanova: no, I just think it’d be good for him to be dunked in a vat of tomato soup.

[pixeldiaries]

BG3 Honour Mode Act 1 Route

I am currently playing Honour Mode in Baldur's Gate 3 and I wanted to start adding notes/guides to help others through it if they need it. Honour Mode is the new difficulty in Baldur's Gate 3 that's just above Tactician, and you only get one save file. So if you TPK (total party kill) it really is game over.

I haven't completed it yet, but I'm finding it surprisingly not difficult. However, I did a lot of planning. The first act is supposedly the most difficult. I'll add and update with more encounters as I go along.

I'm playing a custom character (Tav), as a moon druid. This is a guide for a Good/neutral aligned run.

Continue reading for the Level 1 to 4 Guide. FULL SPOILERS ahead.

Nautiloid:

pick up all the cartilogenous chests in the first room

rescue US

Free Shadowheart

kill the cultist thralls (for XP), either use the console or fight them

loot everything (you will need the gold)

there is a pink nautiloid explody vat by Shadowheart. Pick this up.

prepare the Command spell on Shadowheart before the Cambion encounter. I replaced Shield of Faith.

drop the chests you picked up in the door way right before the last sphincter. If you can't move past them, neither can the extra cambions. This will buy you time to kill things and loot the place

collect all the nautiloid explosive vats and the void bulbs

use command on Commander Zhalk. Save your spell slots for command. If you can't get him to drop it, you will have to kill him for the sword.

if he drops it or if he is dead, loot the sword right away and beeline for the helm. Go into party view and MAKE SURE THIS SWORD IS IN TAV'S INVENTORY RIGHT AWAY (just in case you lose your companions at anypoint)

The Crash Site

Save Shadowheart

loot everything. You need at least one set of thieves tools. Disarm kit is a bonus.

skip the intellect devourers by scaling the cliffs on the right.

Save Gale

Save Lae'zel

go back to the ship and kill the Intellect Devourers (xp!)

go find the Harper chest by the beach where Astarion is hanging out

go get ganked by Astarion

get some rest if needed. Switch in Astarion.

go to the Ruined refectory

intimidate or persuade the bandits there. No one gets any cheese.

Do not go into the refectory here. Go around the back, find the hatch to the crypt

read the Book of the Dead to give you inspiration.

fight the dead monks

go get Withers.

go the other crypt and open the trapped sarcophagus. If you don't have a disarm kit, keep 3 of your party outside, position 1 by the sarcophagus, turn on Turn-Based mode, loot the sarcophagus and dash out before the trap goes off. It's a nice spear.

Important tips:

long rest when your health and spell slots are low. Try to be at every major encounter fully rested

loot everything. Find every chest. Sell everything. If you fail survival checks, start digging anyway. You need all the gold.

COLLECT ALL THE EXPLOSIVE things. Put them in your camp traveller chest but loot them. I don't care if you think Barrelmancy is an exploit, this is Honour Mode.

The Emerald Grove

get some rest if needed

kill the rest of the bandits in the refectory for XP. Remember to have an escape route if things go south.

Tip: you can use the door to block attacks, and this way you can concentrate on any enemies that ran into the room.

go to the Emerald Grove, help Aradin, Wyll and Zevlor fight the goblins

do all the Emerald grove stuff

add Wyll to your group

talk to Ethel. Do NOT tell her about your tadpole. She will stay at the Grove and everytime you long rest, her stock replenishes. Suggested purchases: health potions, elixir of hill giant strength

only use gold on potions. Resist the temptation to buy all the dyes like I do

talk to Kagha. DO NOT USE FRIENDS ON KAGHA. Unless you want to trigger the tiefling massacre.

rescue Arabella

talk to Nettie. Loot all the scripts in the library.

Go talk to Alfira. Tell her you will help her write her song, so you get proficiency with a musical instrument. It's a bonus if you don't have a bard in the group, but distracting people will be very helpful.

don't fight the harpies just yet

Go find Sazza and free her (she will make it easier to get past the a goblin checkpoint).

DO NOT GO OUT the Emerald grove. Take the passageway behind the prison, and kill the goblins there for XP. Make sure to keep Sazza hidden in the back.

before you heal/wakeup the unconscious halfling druid there, pickpocket him for a +1 Nature head piece.

get out of the secret passageway. Go scale the cliffs in front of the Emerald Gold entrance. At the top, loot a skeleton for a Guidance neckpiece.

find the spider hole and grab he spider egg sac.

continue down the road and talk to the Absolute cultists. This is important: Try not to fight them. Have them "get revenge" on the owlbear instead.

it's up to you if you want to use the tadpoles or not. Tadpole powers make things a bit easier, but not necessary. Personally I have been resisting them.

go get Scratch

DO NOT talk to the Absolute siblings yet. Wait until you are level 4 for the Owlbear encounter

Blighted Village/Waukeen's Rest

persuade the goblins in Blighted Village to let you pass without a fight.

Rescue Barcus Wroot. Gnomes can't fly well.

If you trigger a fight, focus fire on the head goblin Fezzerk first. Once his health is low, he will beg for his life instead.

Talk to the ogres if you are confident in your persuasion skills or if you are sure you can beat them. At level 3, it's doable but a bit more difficult. You will want to kill them for Lump's intellect headpiece, but you may want them to fight for you instead.

You can find the cellar in the Apothacary shop, loot all the potions and herbs there

optional but tricky depending on your rolls and positioning: go kill the skeletons and talk to the mirror. Go find the Necromancy of Thay. Tav should probably read the book.

head north out of Blighted Village

find an uncommon (green) dagger stuck in some roasting mystery meat.

interrupt the bugbear and ogre in love if you want. It will be a bit of a challenging fight at level 3.

Go below the bridge, to avoid the hyenas/gnolls

Go to the tollhouse and talk to the paladins. Do not fight them.

If you collected the nautiloid explosive vats like I told you to do in the Nautiloid ship, start decorating around the Paladins with them. Two of them beside his desk should do. Do not fight them.

Go get Karlach

go to Waukeen's rest and do all the quests there. You can visit the Zhentarim hideout but be careful, if you fail with the guy keeping guard, he will blow you up. I recommend maybe keeping someone waiting outside.

Goblin Camp/Shattered Sanctum

go talk to the goblins. You can walk around if you are able to persuade the goblins at the first checkpoint

go talk to Volo.

go talk to Crusher. "Persuade" him to kiss your foot. He will go away and sulk alone on the bridge to the entrance

go inside the Shattered Sanctum.

talk to Priestess Gut. She will wait for you in her chambers

Rescue Volo

Rescue Liam

optional: talk to the Priest of Loviatar, Abdirak and get beaten by him. You get a buff.

I do not recommend talking to Dror Ragzlin or Minthara at this point, or attempting to rescue Halsin. If the talks go bad, you will have to fight.

if you still need more XP, you can fight the newborn gnolls on the Risen Road. They should be easy, but be prepared to kill the hyena runner fast, or deal with gnoll adds.

with Lae'zel in your party, you can also visit the Githyanki patrol and talk to Voss. Convince Lae'zel to play along and tell Voss that we'll help them find the "weapon" they seek. You DO NOT want to fight this patrol. They will murder you.

at some point after all this you should hit Level 4.

Owlbear

go to the Owlbear cave and head inside with the siblings

I'd recommend opening the Selune chest first to get the neck piece

go fight the Owlbear. In Honour mode, the Owlbear legendary action is that she will summon her mate so now you get to fight TWO full grown owlbears with the same HP and abilitlies AND the cub.

the siblings will distract the 2nd owlbear ideally.

Stay by the creek, it's a narrow section and doesn't let the owlbears maneouver very well

focus fire one, then the other.

make sure to pick up the owlbear egg and don't kill the cub.

Tip:

always kill one at a time if you can. This will knock enemies off the board, less chances for them to attack you. Even at 1 HP, enemies can cause trouble.

At Level Four you should be ready for most of the more trickier fights. I would recommend being at Level 5 to kill the Spider Matriarch, but all the other boss encounters in the area should be manageable. I'll write up my strat guide for the next post.

[multi-fan-dom-madness]

Yeeeeeeess

Nav: 👗🌼💌🦸‍♀️🥘🍁

And for a little treat:

Clone Boys: 👀

I have asked so much but I need to knooowwww

Take your time, Ily 🌙🔮

ahhh yessss thank you so much, Hex, for asking all of these wonderful questions. answers below the cut because this got away from me 😂😅

Nav:

👗 Describe their style

when they worked on Coruscant before joining the GAR, they 100% rocked the thrifted light academia aesthetic, but it never fully fit their personality.

on the run from the Empire, and just in everyday life, they are much more prone to utilitarian, functional garments in neutral tones. sleeveless tunic belted over utility pants, with steel-toed boots and their trusty backpack. they steal one of Hunter's old bandanas and tie it around their bicep; Hunter loves it. and of course once they settle on Pabu, they start wearing more tank tops and shorts, soft-bottom shoes, a shark-tooth necklace that Omega crafts.

used to have long hair, but cut it really short when they joined the GAR and just never grew it out again.

they also have a single tattoo, a complementary pair to one that Arien had, on their ribs: a deadly cactus flower native to Iridonia. (Arien's was a sketch of Umate, the mountain peak on Coruscant.)

🌼 Assign them an aesthetic

alright take all of the above and now consider: space grunge

💌 How would they react to a love letter?

sorry my first thought here is the fact that Hunter would write said love letter and now I've made myself squee

anyways. on topic. I think the circumstance would be something like, Hunter writes a letter for Nav and leaves it for them to find somewhere, so it's a surprise. like, at the bottom of their pack (because we all know how often Nav cleans that out... 👀). & then reading it they'd need to sit in case they swoon, the paper held in one hand while the other is clasped over their mouth to hide their smile. definitely blushes. depending on how sappy Hunter got while writing, Nav may or may not tear up.

& then immediately tackle Hunter into a giant hug and smother him with kisses.

🦸‍♀️ What would they dress as for Halloween?

Nav would totally talk Hunter into couples' costumes--and of course that means Omega's costume is also themed, which probably means everyone else's as well. the squad as bowling pins and Omega as a bowling ball?

but for one year, Hunter and Nav make sure that their costumes match each other's and only each other's. Hunter as a werewolf and Nav as a werewolf hunter 👀

🥘 Favorite food?

this depends. if we're talking like, most nostalgic, then it's definitely the beef stew and crusty bread that the matron of the orphanage made on a regular basis. a whole big vat of the stew and the huge ovens made the entire building always smell so good.

but now as an adult, their favorite is the salad that Shep taught them to make on Pabu. starfruit and berries, nuts, crumbly cheese, and a decadent oil-based dressing. filling, sweet, and savory all in one.

that, or Hunter's meat pies. Hunter totally learns that he loves to cook once they all settle down on Pabu.

🍁 Their favorite season and why?

alright hc time: Coruscant doesn't have seasons, & Pabu basically has 2: hot and hotter. Iridonia is probably the same, though it gets chilly at night. therefore, Rintonne is the one planet that Nav has been to relatively frequently enough to experience four seasons. their favorite is by far autumn, with spring coming in second. there's something about transitory periods, life in flux, that just Hits Different for Nav. spring is in second place because allergies lmao.

Clone boys:

👀 How do they look like? Give an overall description of them

ohohoho strap in, here we go

387th Battalion, 13th Sector Army

Commander Creed. he presents a very stern, disciplined facade that intimidates shinies and civvies alike, but in reality he's very soft and compassionate. it's what makes him such a strong leader. he's unafraid to voice his opinion when he believes his Jedi General is making a foolish or wrong move, but is humble enough to admit when he's wrong. well-trimmed beard and mustache, undercut with a mop of dark curls. there's a scar from an errant blaster bolt during commando training, that streaks down the left side of his face. he has a tattoo under his left pec that reads 'for the people' in blocky Basic letting--that is his creed. he has a second tattoo on his right hip of his battalion's mascot (pls don't ask me what this is, idk yet).

Captain Static, Shatter Company. earned his name because when he was a cadet, he always pretended to talk on the radios with sound effects (*cksh* come in, command, *cksh*). he's a little bit naive, but very loyal and values intelligence. he often volunteers his company for recon missions, having trained them specially to communicate effectively. he's clean-shaven, with a stud nose piercing and regulation haircut.

Captain Flare, Phoenix Company. loves, loves, loves flare guns and will pout (mostly in jest these days) if he doesn't get the chance to pop one off at least once during a campaign. he's loud and unapologetic, a little cocky, but he does genuinely mean well and respects the hell out of anyone who can outwit his twin, Seg. with a permanent five o'clock shadow, brilliant white teeth, and that one perfect curl that always rests so nicely on his forehead, he's hot and he kriffin' knows it.

Captain Seg, Flare's twin, commanding officer of Angel Company. Seg is a little bit more withdrawn and quiet than Flare, but no less quick-witted--and quick-tempered. he often waits for an opening in his enemy's forces rather than making an opening himself (he leaves that to Shatter & Phoenix Companies). this is both in terms of battle tactics and verbal sparring. often known for silently observing conversations or debates, and drops one-line zingers that leave the entire table slack-jawed and/or in uproarious laughter. he's the most "reg" looking of the captains, but don't let that fool you.

Captain Drifter, of Hollow Company. Drifter is an old grumpy man at heart, rather pessimistic, but can be charming and suave when the occasion arises. something of a social chameleon, often chosen for diplomatic missions alongside the General. he's sarcastic but genuine, a balance he learned early on how to maintain, and it's gotten him into trouble as much as out of it. he has ear piercings, a septum ring, and a huge geometric tattoo sleeve on his right leg; and sometimes lets his hair grow out to about shoulder length.

Bonus boys! Hotshot and Screwball, ARC troopers, who featured briefly in Second Chances. Hotshot has a buzzcut and goatee, vitiligo, a rough hand-drawn star tattoo beneath his left eye, and a scar across the bridge of his nose. Screwball has long hair that he keeps tied back in a low bun, and a scar along the right side of his face. both Hotshot and Screwball are pranksters (and don't get me started on when they have shore leave with Screwball's twin, Misfit), but very, very good at their jobs. they specialize in destabilizing the enemy from behind enemy lines, often using their chaotic impulses to their advantage.

anyways thanks again so much, Hex, for letting me ramble about my blorbos 💖💖