#or her lies / her façade mostly
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lunaetis · 2 years ago
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[ the sudden need to write something emotional with yelan ... ]
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girlgenius1111 · 8 months ago
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ingrid x mapi x reader fluff + angst. r and mapi try to get to the bottom of what's going on with ingrid. wasn't positive i was going to write this but anything for @sunnyaelia
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When Ingrid woke, she didn’t open her eyes right away. She was much too comfortable, a soft blanket draped over her body, her face pressed comfortably into Mapi’s sweatshirt. She could feel your hands on her back, slipped up under the shirt you’d pulled on her. Your hands were smoother than Mapi’s, mindlessly stroking up and down. She could hear you both talking quietly, too, and the sounds of your voices were like some kind of soothing drug. You were mostly just talking about nothing, but a question Mapi posed caught her attention. 
“How does your head feel?” She asked softly, brushing some hair back away from your forehead. 
Honestly, it didn’t feel good. It was pulsing with a headache that you knew was from exerting yourself too much, from the rush of endorphins and chemicals in your brain. The pressure inside your skull was intense, and though it wasn’t very pleasant, you didn’t mind much. Not if the cause had made your girlfriend this relaxed in Mapi’s arms. 
“Okay.” You lied, not wanting to draw attention away from Ingrid for even a moment. 
“How does your head feel?” Mapi asked again, frowning this time as she could tell you weren’t telling the truth. 
“It’s been better.” You allowed, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of Mapi gently running a finger over your forehead. 
“Amor,”
“How is your knee?” You countered. Mapi rolled her eyes. 
“Do not change the subject. You should have told me it was bothering you.” 
“I was fine. Ingrid needed this. It’s worth it, if she feels better.” You argued back. Mapi had a hard time coming up with a dissenting response, because honestly, she’d do almost anything to make Ingrid feel better, too. Instead, she turned her attention to the woman draped over her, her lips pulling into an involuntary smile at the sight. 
“She looks relaxed.” Mapi murmured, taking in the perfection of Ingrid’s face, a perfection she never got tired of looking at. 
“I’m worried she’s going to go back to how she was before when she wakes up. Acting like she’s fine, running herself into the ground. It’s a miracle she hasn’t picked up an injury yet, María, we can’t let her go on like this.” 
Mapi hummed her agreement, and Ingrid felt her heart clench. It wasn’t her intention to make you guys worry, really the opposite. She wanted to take care of everything possible so that neither of you had to worry. She wanted to play so well, it instilled confidence in the team that the back line was secure. She wanted to be a leader. She wanted to be dependable. She wanted to be perfect, perfect for both of you. 
The realization that she hadn’t been able to do this for you stung, and she felt tears welling in her eyes before she could do anything to stop it. Both you and Mapi noticed her stiffen slightly, and the way her eyes scrunched together told you all you needed to know. Before either of you could speak, Ingrid was forcing her eyes open, a devastated green looking up at you. 
“I’m sorry I’ve been worrying you,” she whispered, her forehead creasing with sadness. 
“You don’t need to say sorry for that, amor.” Mapi promised. 
Ingrid shook her head, biting her lip as it trembled, so hard she almost seemed angry with herself for crying. “No, you both have more important things to worry about than me, I’m okay.” 
“We have nothing more important to worry about than you, Ingrid. Nothing. Don’t say stuff like that because it isn’t true.” You said, unable to hide how upset her statement made you, and wondering how you and Mapi had messed up so badly that Ingrid was so convinced that she wasn’t important. “You are the most important thing to us.” 
The pure disbelief on Ingrid’s face felt like a bullet through the heart. The Norwegian always came across as so confident, so sure of herself. This façade tricked the whole world into thinking she believed it, and it had tricked the two of you too. This realization stunned you into silence, briefly, a silence that Ingrid frantically tried to fill. 
“No, no, you’re both hurt. I need to take care of you, I need to make sure you both are okay. Let me up, please, María, I need to get her some ice for her head.” Ingrid sniffled, fighting the tight embrace Mapi’s arms had her in. The Spaniard shook her head firmly, but looked at you with concern. 
“Love, I’m okay, I promise you.” You implored. 
“You need me.” Ingrid repeated brokenly. 
Slowly, you nodded, eyes searching her pained expression. “I do need you. I always need you. You need us too, though. Can you let us take care of you?” 
“I don’t need to be taken care of,” she began, only growing more teary eyed when Mapi cut her off. 
“Stop, amor, stop lying. You said earlier you feel the most stressed you have ever felt in your life. Forgot about my knee for a minute, forget about her head. We are okay, but we need you to be okay too. It’s okay for you to need us.”  
Ingrid shook her head rapidly. “No. I can’t need you.”
“Why not, princesa?” Mapi asked, in a soft tone of voice she reserved for you and Ingrid. Her gaze was beyond gentle as she regarded the Norwegian women, one tattooed hand cradling a freckled cheek.
 “I can’t need you because you both deserve so much better than me, I don’t deserve to be loved by you.” she said quietly, rushing the words out as if they’d been swirling around in her head for some time. She missed the anger that flashed across Mapi’s face, but you didn’t. You felt the same way, honestly. You wanted to seek out whatever had made her feel like this, but you had a feeling that the trail would just lead you back to her. Perfect, beautiful, kind Ingrid. You couldn’t shout the insecure part of her away, it wouldn’t work. So, you rested a hand on Mapi’s shoulder to calm her, but it seemed that she had reached the same conclusion that you had.
“Mi princesa,” she whispered roughly. “I could spend 100 lifetimes loving you and it wouldn’t be enough. I do not care what you think I deserve. I love you. I want you. You do not need to earn my love, mi princesa. You have it. Always. For the rest of your life, for the rest of time. You just have it.” 
Ingrid pushed her face into Mapi’s sweatshirt, her tears quietly soaking into the soft fabric. She looked so unlike herself, all broken and small. She clearly craved the reassurance, but was terrified to accept it. 
You swallowed thickly, running your hand through her thick hair in an effort to get her to look at you. She didn't look up, but you spoke anyway. “Ingrid, where is this coming from? Did we do something to make you feel like this?” 
Her voice was muffled but still audibly distraught when she replied. “No, I know you love me. I know you want me. I just… I don't always understand why. All I can see are my flaws, all the things I do wrong, and I hate myself for them. If I let you take care of me… you’ll see them too.” 
It was so absurd, you wanted to laugh. You didn’t, though. You just took a deep breath, thinking that the agonized expression on Mapi’s face probably matched yours right now.
 “Ingrid… I don’t know what flaws you see in yourself. You are as close to perfection as I have ever seen a person get.” You rolled your eyes at Mapi’s slight pout at your statement. “Anything you consider to be a flaw… it's miniscule in the scale of how much we love you. We want you to need us. You don’t need to be completely put together all the time. You don’t need to suffer by yourself just because you deem your stressors insignificant in comparison to ours.”
“Amor, you can always lean on us. Even if my knee is fucked. I don’t need two working legs to take care of you. There is no flaw, nothing in the world that you could do that would make us not want you. That would make us see you any differently than we do now. You are ours. That will never change, mi amor, never.” 
You were startled to see tears welling in Mapi’s eyes, but you understood. It was painful to see someone you loved so much feel so awful, and keep it from you. It was painful to realize you’d missed something because you were too wrapped up in yourself to pay enough attention and realize what was going on sooner. 
“We have to do better, sí? It is not enough to tell you that we love you. We have to remind you of why, and we will, mi princesa, I promise you We will.” Mapi whispered, her voice thick with emotion, and holding a quiet promise, one that was clear to Ingrid. And really, if anyone could fix this horrible way of thinking she knew she shouldn’t engage in, it would be the two of you. 
“Tomorrow is Ingrid day.” You declared. “We’ll do whatever you want. We’ll spend the whole day telling you what we love about you, if that’s what it takes.” 
Ingrid let out a choked laugh, allowing Mapi to gently wipe her tears off her face. “I just want to stay here. And lay with you both. Can we do that?” She asked shyly. 
“Of course we can.” María smiled. “Whatever you want, princesa, I mean it.” 
Ingrid turned her attention to you, allowing some worry to creep back into her gaze. “I want you to rest tomorrow, too.” 
“I will, if that makes you happy.” You promised, smiling softly at her, a smile she returned. 
“You both are perfect.” She said, looking between the two of you like she couldn’t quite believe her luck. 
“Then you are perfect, too. Beautiful.” Mapi leaned up to press a kiss to Ingrid’s lips, murmuring each word in between kisses. “Kind. Hardworking. Perfect, amor. So perfect.” 
You were glad to see the blush on Ingrid’s cheeks, knowing that it meant you’d both gotten through to her, at least a little bit. The Norwegian settled her face into Mapi’s neck, her hand reaching out to twist into your shirt and pull you closer. You fit in next to them so easily. You always would, and so would they. Because maybe you weren’t all actually perfect. You were, however, perfect for each other. 
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this was physically painful to write for no reason and it's short but the words were not flowing. it's done now though and i hope you all like :)
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twinkle-art · 3 months ago
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Andromeda's garlean, or at least raised in garlean society, right? How'd she take the whole Varis/Anima thing in Endwalker? Or just the Garlemald section as a whole? If you've done all the EW role quests, how'd she feel about that last blasphemy?
unfortunately for her, she sure is! she was raised by her garlean mother and spent her entire childhood in the capital city so coming back to that under the circumstances that she did was, frankly, the worst experience of her life. just a profoundly miserable, harrowing time for her.
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wrt to the anima stuff, i don’t actually know how strongly it hit her through the noise of every other horrific thing she was seeing, but i think the revelation that the people of her homeland had been devoured by their own nationalistic fervor nauseated her first and foremost because of how it almost felt like a foregone conclusion- a sort of “of course that would be what destroyed them” reaction that, in the face of how gruesomely it actually played out, makes her too unsettled to really feel any sort of vindication at the karmic comeuppance. mostly it just makes her sad. 
(the particular way she personally suffered at the hands of garlean fascism did little to harden her to the many, many cruelties of war she both witnessed and participated in in her capacity as the warrior of light- she has always done what she must without complaint, but she has never been able to turn off the way she instinctively sees humanity in those she cuts down for the sake of justice, knowing they’re probably a lot like the kind of people she was raised in tenuous community with. she just tries not to think about it too hard.)
of course, within the larger context of the arc, it’s ALSO pretty hard for her to view it as any sort of divine retribution when she knows not only what real, tangible person is responsible for unleashing this disaster on them, but that he all but says he did it to get under her skin, specifically. she might even feel culpable for the massive civilian casualties, if she let herself think about it for more than ten seconds. good thing there’s always something else for her to be doing!
anyways, more broadly, the garlemald arc was when her elaborate lies about being a normal eorzean girl completely and utterly collapsed under the strain of actually returning to where she came from. the psychological toll of keeping up the façade with the ilsabard contingient (though the scions, lucia, maxima, and some others have all kept her secret for a while now) And being treated by the garlean populace as a foreign invader (which strikes a nerve she was surprised to realize was still raw after all this time) And not knowing if her mother, who she had very recently accepted might’ve been a more complicated figure than she assumed, was even alive was, frankly, just way too much. the jig is extremely up. she’s taking out her anguish by cursing out some uncooperative military guy who probably reminds her of her step-father in her native language. she keeps asking everyone they meet if they know a woman named lucretia eir caecus. she’s finding any reason to avoid regio urbanissima because if she sees her old home she’s probably gonna have a panic attack. it went Extremely Bad.
the one and pretty much only spot of hope for her during all this is that it did help to get it through her thick skull that her friends like, really really love her. alphinaud and alisaie were basically glued to her side as much as they could be and each had their own approaches to trying to protect her from something that they pretty obviously couldnt. and, for what it’s worth, even as word began to spread through the ilsabard contingient that Hey I Think She’s From Here? i simply don’t think it destroyed their respect for her the way she had convinced herself it would. if anything i think a lot of them just felt bad for how much of a toll this was clearly taking onher.
…sadly i have not actually done all the edw role quests (i’m REALLY bad about doing role quests. i didn’t even do the shb ones until i made that video essay in june. and we all know i’m a huge shadowbringers guy) so i can’t comment on that but i’m sure it’s probably in line with all of this. yeah <3
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adrunkskeletonsduck · 2 years ago
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Could I request a neytiri x fem reader from the first movie?? The reader is falling in love with her a similar way as jake. Maybe she doesn’t allow them to destroy the tree? That would be so great!!! I just love your writing!!! <3333 Thank you!!
“Tʜᴇ Lɪɢʜᴛ Sʜᴏᴛ Dɪᴀᴍᴏɴᴅs Fʀᴏᴍ Hᴇʀ Eʏᴇs”
➜ Pairing: Neytiri x fem!reader
➜ Summary: You reflect on the past few months under The Tree of Voices, regretting the lies you'd fed the girl who lay next to you.
➜ Warnings: Guilt, light angst, fluff
➜ Word Count: 1.5k
➜ Notes: This took me an ungodly amount of time to write, my apologies.
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A liar.
That’s what you were. There was nothing about the past three months that hadn't been a lie, and this was by far the cruelest one you’d ever told, because this lie would destroy everything The People had ever known. They’d been rightfully skeptical about you, shunning you and casting you glares for the first few weeks, but as your lessons progressed, they’d warmed up to you and slowly you’d gained their trust. Just like you’d been sent to do. Well not all of them, mostly the children, but most of the older Omitikaya still resented you.
Neytiri had been the former, warming up to as you learned, and you wished she hadn't. Now you wished so badly that she’d never began to trust you. Maybe then it would save her the betrayal.
The People didn’t deserve this – Neytiri didn’t deserve this.
You deserved to be beaten until you were bloody and bruised for the façade, you’d put on for all these weeks, not smiled down upon by an angel such as herself as she led you through the most beautiful of places on Pandora. Your heart was heavy with guilt as you watched her in front of you, the knowledge of the evils you were about to bring upon her and her people burning it.
Neytiri was bright, she was brilliant and beautiful. She loved her people dearly, they were family, her fortress. She loved the animals and the forest, she had a deep bond with Eywa, and her love for the Great Mother only seemed to grow by the day. She was adventurous, basking in the thrill of a close call just like you. She was empathetic and caring. She was skilled with a bow, being able to shoot an arrow like no other, and she was proud. So very proud, and you could only predict that it would get her into trouble one day. The thought made you laugh a bit. She didn’t like the thought of being bound by responsibility, simply wanting to live her youth. She was everything you could've have asked for and more.
She deserved the world.
But you couldn’t give it to her. Only destroy it.
You supposed not everything was a lie. At least not anymore. Your love for the forest wasn’t. Neytiri had grown and nurtured it, showing you every beautiful detail in the endless landscape of vines and trees that were home to amazing species of animals, decorated in bright colors and stripes. There was nothing that she had missed to teach you about when it came to the forest and her people. She would go on and on about networks of energy that flowed through every living thing. She spoke about the value of every life, no matter how small or large, sophisticated or crude. At first, you’d discarded her words, nodded absent mindedly and internally scuffed at their teachings. Day after day she spoke of it though, and slowly you began to see the forest through her eyes. Slowly you understood.
You understood the way the Na’vi lived was beautiful, something that you’d never realized you’d earned for until you’d come here. You admired the lack of industrialization and the simplicity of their way of life. The harmony they lived in with the animals, the value they placed on life – something that had somehow slipped from the hands of humanity. There was nothing savage about these people, quite the opposite in fact. They were honest and kind. They viewed each other not as simply neighbors, but as family. The only crime they had ever committed was not allowing humanity to walk over them.
Neytiri had opened your eyes, taught you how to see. Now you’d pay her back with the blood of her people and the sting of betrayal.
Much like the forest and Pandora, every little thing about her had become beautiful to you. The sparkles in her eyes as she spoke about something that excited her and the way her voice rose a pitch higher, her words becoming faster ever so slightly. The subtle sway of her hips as she walked, or the way her braids moved delicately with each step. The way her skin shone as the light hit it and her lips that stretched into a wide smile when you’d say something not so funny, but she’d laugh anyway. Her voice, smooth and sweet. You could listen to her talk for hours.
Every moment with her had been magical, each one more rose tinted then the last as you fell harder and harder. Archery lessons would make your stomach burst into butterflies at the close proximity the two of you shared as she made sure your form was proper and bow was lined up with the target properly. At first, she had kept the contact at a minimal, jumping away from you as if your touch had burned her, but now she would take her time, easing into your presence.
Ikran riding was one of your favorite pass times with her. Watching as the window blew through her hair, the light cascading down on her skin, casting a beautiful – almost angelic – glow as she maneuvered through the sky. Language lessons were hard, but she made it all the better, and despite your frustration you couldn’t help but grin as she shook her head at your stupidity.
There was a pond not too far away from Home-Tree that Neytiri would drag you to before dinner, but after it had gotten dark, leading you into the water with her for a nightly swim. The water was always a lukewarm temperature, and it was always refreshing after a long day tracking through dirt and mud in such a warm climate. Sometimes the two of you would only stay in the water for a short while, getting out before even thirty minutes had passed. Other times you’d stay in for an hour or more, only getting out when your fingers began to prune or you were sick of watching fish dart through the water, their underbelly's illuminated in greens and purples from the luminescent pond floor. Then when you’d get out, you’d dry yourselves and help Neytiri squeeze the water out of her hair, insisting that she never got all the water out and you’d do it for her. Just another excuse to be close to her.
But today, today held all your favorite moment with her by far. You’d officially become part of the people that day, and the already high tension between the two of you had risen even higher, like water boiling over as she painted you with white lines that ran from your head to toes. Each delicate drag of her fingers setting your skin ablaze under them. The scene had felt intimate, maybe more than it was, but to brief for your liking before you had to step out and presenting yourself to the rest of the clan. Her mother had placed a hand over your chest, her father to your side and Neytiri to your left. She’d beamed up at you, smiling with what could only be describes as pride and it made your chest warm to know you’d made her proud.
That night she’d dragged you away from Home-Tree to, Utral Aymokriyä, The Tree of Voices. You’d pretended to be reluctant to go with her, trying to hide how eager you were to get a moment alone together. She’d run through the forest with such energy and excitement to show you this place that was so sacred to her people it was you’d hardly been able to keep up. That’s when the tension had broken between the two of you, under the purple and pink lights of Utral Aymokriyä and you were so glad it did because whatever new found thing you had now was so much better than the dancing around your feelings had been. It was real, and beautiful, genuine, and pure.
Well as pure as it could have been with the type of secret you were keeping.
“What are you thinking about?” Neytiri whispered, pulling you from your thought, her eyes scanning your face tiredly as she lay against you. Her legs were tangled between yours, one arm slung around your neck and the other by her head on your chest as she lay on your chest. You looked down at her.
“You,” your answer made her lips stretch into a small smile, a soft giggle escaping her. The sound made your heart flutter.
“What about me?” She pressed. You grinned, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead with a thoughtful hum, pretending to take a moment to think.
“Everything I love about you,” you finally said after an exaggerated pause. Her sleepy smile only widened.
“What are those things?” her eyelids begin to slip shut as she finishes the question, the smile on her face beginning to fade as exhaustion takes hold of her.
“The list is to long to start now, we’d be laying here all night if I was to begin,” you whispered to her, raking a hand through her hair soothingly, lulling her to sleep. A moment later her chest began to rise and fall in a steady rhythm, her breath evening and her face relaxing, the peace of sleep pulling her under.
“Get some sleep my love,” you whispered to her sleeping form, “tomorrow's going to be a long day.”
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Taglist: @cherridile @aonungmybf @aurora-starwars 
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onewmin · 2 years ago
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the perfume on the shelf. pt. 1 | bangchan
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Pairing: Bang Chan x Fem!reader
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?
Warnings: A slight au, profanity, angst, slight smut, mentions of emotional abuse, unhealthy relationships, typos, maybe punctuation errors, a lot of references to Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo’s songs, but mostly blondie’s music
Author’s note: very self-inserted in parts with parents, toxic exes and therapy lol hope you enjoy!
Part 2
Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.
Tangled in silk sheets, sinking into the colour red surrounding you, you watched him stand up and get dressed, then turning left to take his phone from the nightstand. Closing your eyes quickly, you felt a kiss on your temple.
“Goodnight, baby”.
A sweet whisper sent shivers down your spine, but you kept your sleeping façade present: he couldn’t find out you weren’t asleep. Otherwise, it’ll be harder. Otherwise, you’ll make him stay for another hour, entangled, glistening, lost in pleasure. It’s better if he leaves, it’s always better.
You listen attentively to him collecting his things — car keys, his beanie, bag — and shutting the door on the way out. You hear his keys turn in the door, and regret the moment you gave him a spare one. And as he left, your hands were at your eyes, covering the tears. There was no point in muffling your cries other than for them not to turn into full howls. You were so tired, exhausted of being just a rebound to Chan. Because that’s what you were — a shadow of someone he loved.
You, on the other hand? He didn’t love you. As a friend, yeah, but as a woman? His woman? Never. Never in a million years. Or so you thought.
Sitting on the bed, you wiped the tears from your cheeks, and let out a breath. No, you couldn’t do it anymore. The further this situation progressed, the less you recognized yourself. Chan wasn’t a bad guy, no. It’s just… Despite your big age, despite the built up persona of a mature adult, in the end, you were a naive, broken girl, who just wanted to be loved. Even if this love was collected by you from crumbs of attention Chan was giving you as a potential partner.
Your cat jumped on the bed, coming closer to you; immediately purring after you petted her, and lied down next to your legs. The only living being that loved you unconditionally and the one you loved more than anything. Although you did joke to Chan she grew more fond of him than of you, and he laughed, taking her into his arms and scratching behind her ears. She did love him, too. And he loved her. At least, he loved one part of you — your cat.
Standing up from the bed, followed by a quiet “meow”, you came up to the window. The moon lit an empty street, where Chan’s car was parked just minutes ago. You loved watching him pull up, with a takeaway in his hands and eyes glued to your window. Waving at each other, grinning — he was to see his closest friend, and you…
What about you?
Shit, you wished there was never anything between the two of you. No friendship, no sex, nothing.
You remembered the first time your friendship took a dangerous turn, when his plushy lips landed on yours in a ferocious, drunken kiss. You both were wasted, drinking to ease your sorrows and pain. Both being broken up with your partners at approximately the same time, Chan and you decided to talk, while sharing a bottle of wine. A bottle turned into two, and then three, and you both were crying, cursing your exes, and you found yourself in his lap, fingers tugging on his hair. And his hands on your waist, controlling the way you grinded against him. You remembered sweet nothings whispered into your skin, his gentle, soft palm on your cheek while he was pounding into you. And the look in his eyes, so intense, as if he was starring right into your soul.
Maybe that was the moment when you fell in love with him. Or maybe you convinced yourself you loved him just so you wouldn’t be alone. You really didn’t know. Your therapist said you’d gotten into yet another unhealthy situation, and you believed her, you did. However… Chan wasn’t like your ex. He wasn’t emotionally abusing you, wasn’t turning every happy moment of your life into a nightmare because he was envious. Chan wasn’t a narcissist — a type of guys you tended to fall for in the past. You decided to put a stop to toxicity, and Chan, you thought, sex with him would be an amazing distraction. Oh boy, were you wrong.
“You tell this story, and yet, the guy you’ve been talking about is emotionally, romantically unavailable, right? Isn’t it the same type you’ve been trying to avoid?”
Yeah, your therapist was not in the wrong here. Narcissistic guys, who took everything from you — your emotions, happiness and will to love — unfortunately, were your type. The ones you’d been collecting, falling for, because you didn’t know any better. Repeating the scariest scenario — your mother’s. You were running away from the image of a man, who had never said anything nice to your mom and you, the man, who was selfish and full of shit, the man, who was emotionally abusive and never apologized for his harsh words and actions. The image of your father, and the relationship between two adults you got dragged in against your will. Being involved into it since your early teenagehood, you didn’t know the image of a healthy family, and what’s more important, you had no idea what healthy relationship looked like. One thing to see it in movies and saying,
“Hey, that’s so easy!”
And another one to fulfill it in real life. Your father never complimented your mom, never told her he loved her — the usual, embarrassing things healthy couples do in front of their kids. He was emotionally unavailable, drained, you used to say. Casually cruel for the sake of being honest, the man himself stated. And yet, your mother never left him, even after complaining to you, how tired she was of the rows he was picking.
“Get a divorce”.
“And stay alone when I’m old? Who needs that?”
You stopped giving advice. She would never listen and you’d never help her. She was inserted in this scenario by herself and was never willing to leave it.
And now you were following into your mother’s footsteps, running to the guy type you despised. But daughters tend to repeat their mothers’ mistakes, don’t they?
Although Chan wasn’t like that. He was your friend first (the only guy friend you’ve had in years), and the way he treated you just as a friend… Needless to say, not a guy your mother would even consider looking at herself, when she was younger. But whenever you spoke of him?
“I think he’s in love with you, honey”.
What did she know about love? Didn’t she marry a guy after a couple of months just to have a baby?
So, you never took your mother’s words about Chan seriously. The relationship with your parents was messy, even after years of therapy. You never felt at ease with them, not when talking about your studies, not when having a family dinner. Your mother had a picture of a “stable, happy family” in her head, and that picture was bright and shiny in her eyes. However, she never considered that picture being a façade for a real monstrous family portrait, hidden in the attic. Very Dorian Gray of her, you used to think.
And then there was Chan. Maybe the first man you didn’t consider to be an asshole. He took you to the movies, walks, everywhere — and never demanded anything in return. Chan was one of the reasons your toxic ex broke up with you. Thanks god for Chan.
And when you thought you’d found a friend for years, you two had to have drunken sex. You two had to ruin everything by having hangover sex in the morning. You both had to destroy your friendship by agreeing to be “friends with benefits”. And you had to cut your life into pieces by falling in love with him.
“You feel so good, baby”, he moaned into your skin, “the best fuckin’ feeling in the world”.
You whimpered, shivering under his touch, and seeing nothing but the sky and stars instead of the white ceiling. You were drunk on him, his scent being your oxygen. And when he kissed you, his lips slowly devouring yours, you could swear, you were brought into Heaven.
How could have you given him so much power over you? How could you let yourself fall in love with someone so normal? So normal, that he didn’t fall in love with everyone who gave him the slightest bit of affection?
You slowly strolled to the kitchen, as the sleep washed away the moment you started thinking too much. You managed to get rid of sleepless, teary nights when your ex called it quits, but recently falling asleep seemed harder than it used to be. All because of Chan.
“Maybe I’m some sort of masochist”, you told your therapist once, “as I keep doing back to the same scenario”.
“It is completely the same this time?”
“Not really. Like, yeah, he’s not romantically available, cause he still loves his ex-girlfriend, but he’s different from other guys”.
“Did he tell you he was still in love with his ex?”, you didn’t answer her question. “Or is it you, who’s projecting her fears and anxiety onto a potential partner?”
That shit? Was deep. True. You were indeed projecting. But hey, how could anyone blame you, when relationship rollercoasters were the only thing you’d known?
A great way to escape responsibility for your actions, right?
Sipping tea from the cup, you wondered what he was doing now. Did he go home? Or did he, in (your brain’s twisted) reality, texted his ex and drove to her house, to confess his undying love for her? And then to make love to her just like he did to you, several hours ago? And, if he was so in love with her, wasn’t the thing you two had a kind of an illicit affair? A way of cheating on her?
“Jeez, just shut the fuck up”, you murmured, plopping onto the couch and turning on the TV.
“Maybe I am projecting, but, deep inside, I know the truth. He still loves her, and I’m just a rebound”.
“Elaborate, please. Even though you sound very confident, I’d love to hear your reasoning”.
Nothing coherent came from you that time. Probably because you had nothing to say, just “I trust my gut” — girl, what the actual fuck? Definitely an answer you therapist expected from you; she knew you too well, found out the easy way when you resisted therapy and her implications.
“The right answer is also somewhere in your gut. You just choose to block these thoughts, because if you indulge into them, you’ll have to actually leave the set scenario. But, as we’ve discussed it, isn’t it something you want to do?”.
My god, lady. Couldn’t she just be your inner voice instead of the annoying conspiracy theorist living in your head for free?
TV was boring. You turned to your laptop on the coffee table; to look for another way to distract yourself.
You didn’t plan to watch one of Chan’s latest interviews. You really didn’t. It just happened.
“And what’s your latest album about?”
“A love that slipped away. The one that got away, I’d put it like that”. Any more proof he still loved that girl, huh, Ms. Therapist-Know-It-All?
You slammed your laptop’s lid. “Shit, shit, shit”, you whined right after, checking if the screen wasn’t damaged. Making decisions based on emotions was your thing, truly, but the laptop has been fixed too many times already for you not to treat it gentler that your feelings.
Maybe, you thought, turning on the TV again and lying down on the couch, maybe he’s just too nice to say anything. To break this thing off. “Maybe he pities me, that’s why. He knows what kind of guys I dated, maybe that’s why he continues to keep this going?”
“Projecting again”.
You were too tired to fight with your therapist’s voice. Yeah, you were. But didn’t he himself said, that he had written music about her? And, having heard his songs, you only now realized how much he missed her. If you hadn’t been so pathetic in your desire to be loved by someone, you wouldn’t have fallen for him a month after you two started this shit.
“Why am I the only pathetic one? Isn’t he like that too?”
Shit, he is. A broken-hearted boy, looking for love he had lost in the best friend, who was stupid enough to think he would actually reciprocate her feelings. He made you suffer so much, catching you crying twice, while being in his bed — and never, ever, questioning himself? Never doubting his decision to keep your relationship living?
“Maybe he’s just fucking stupid, that’s all”, you muttered, starring into the screen, a “Friends” episode you’d seen million times before running on. Probably now, after his literal confession on the Internet, his ex would come back to him. And you’d be free from this cage, maybe your wings would grow out once again. Maybe the grass would be greener, and the sun would shine brighter.
But didn’t that mean he’s be the one to break up with you, leaving you with a broken heart because of him, once again? He was never truly yours to lose, so why not to be the first one to end it? You’d dodge a bullet, for sure.
Unlocking your phone, reluctantly looking at the text you��d typed. Wasn’t it better to talk in person? Or to call, at the very least?
“When trying to be nice to everyone else, try to remember: would they be as good and understanding, as you’re to them?”
Chan would be, you thought. He’d sit you on the couch, have an honest conversation, hold you if you cried, and accept every curse thrown at him. He’d understand.
No, wait, back to the possible final frame. Would he be actually understanding towards a girl who fell in love with her friend, who never promised her anything? Or would he just pity her? You didn’t need his pity, you didn’t want his fucking compassion. He would never understand the way you were feeling, the way you…
Fuck him. Fuck him, and his sorrowful gaze, and his hoarse morning voice; fuck him, and his soft hands, and his stupid laugh; fuck him, and him fastening your shirts, and him teaching you how to dance. Fuck him.
One click. The message had been sent. Hopefully, he’d read it and be relieved you had decided to call it quits first. You felt relieved, for sure. Like a weight off your shoulders.
If it was such a relief, why were sobbing into the cushion, hugging your cat? Why did it hurt so bad?
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nat-seal-well · 1 year ago
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So I'm dying to ask nosy questions about Villain!Nat... Do you think she'd still be part of Unit Bravo and just biding her time til she can act out her plans? Or would she have been a rogue element the whole time? Would she and Ava have any kind of personal rivalry (sexy or otherwise) or just be obstacles in each other's paths? 👀
I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to this, haha, but I spent the entire last half of my shift thinking about it and realized it was gonna be too long just to write it all in a post, so I had to make a document and then copy/paste it over lol.
I don’t think she’d be part of UB (but can you imagine how much fun it would be if she was? Just waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and keeping up the façade…)
Villain!Nat would work better as more of a rogue, I think. I can see her being mostly on her own ever since her turning. Imagine: never being found by the Agency after the massacre on The Queen’s Sabre, never really being guided or taught by anyone other than the vampire who turned her, and then being set loose. 
It would all come down to that whole “nature vs. nurture” thing. A lot of who you are is shaped by the environment around you.
She’d never have had the support she received in the canon. There’d still be a lot of her personality that’s the same; she’d have a love for reading and collecting old books, she’d still be a little old-fashioned as time went on, etc. She’d just be more like the vampires in the traditional books, reclusive in some grand, old home out in the middle of nowhere. 
She’d also still be capable of love and affection and her usual overprotectiveness… she just wouldn’t be aware of it for a very, very long time. And in the moments where it’s staring her down, she’d hide it away and lock it up. 
Ava and Nat would have a rivalry (sexy, of course, because there isn’t much that’s hotter than the intimacy of being sworn enemies. The combat scenes would be gorgeous. Also, it would hurt to watch… which means it would be even more fun, haha :) )
Naturally, Ava would make it more difficult for Nat to ignore her emotions, lol. And she wouldn’t understand them a lot. She’d end up deciding that “hate” is the way she feels, because there isn’t any way it could be love. That’s impossible. Natalie Sewell doesn’t love people. Right? So loathing has to be what it is. 
I’m a sucker for anything poly so consider: throwing the Detective into the mix. It would be like a much, much darker take of the LT route, haha.
Maybe she hears some rumors about the vampire who’s going around killing humans who have a very special blood mutation, and she gets curious. She’s a collector, after all, and a human with blood like that would be priceless and a very good addition to her collection. We already know there’s someone leaking Agency info, so maybe she finds out that way? Probably not until after the events of book one.
So she follows after UB. Naturally, Ava has a suspicion they’re being watched, because she and Nat know each other better than they know themselves. Of course she catches on very, very quickly, but does her best to keep it under wraps. Easier to keep an eye on her that way. 
We also all know how good Nat is at lying and wearing masks. It’d be easy to convince the Detective she’s someone they can trust, especially after they've been thrown headfirst into the supernatural world without any real say in the matter. Nat would be drawing them in under the guise of stealing them away, only to discover–to her horror–that they intrigue her far more than they should. Only… this confuses her. Because the Detective makes her feel the same way Ava does, and there’s no way she can hate them. 
Que an emotional journey full of inner turmoil as Nat tries to come to terms with the fact that she’s capable of softer feelings, after all. And that she might not be so cold-hearted as she thinks. I imagine it would be very long and very painful, because she has three centuries of habits and beliefs (lies that someone hammered into her brain) to unlearn. She’d be fighting it every single step of the way, all while trying to keep it hidden. 
Villain!Nat would be more obsessive, just because I think it’d be a nice touch. Especially as she’s forced to face the truth: that she’s falling in love with her adversary of three hundred years, and a human, of all things. How terrifying. 
As much as I love angst and hurt, it would come to a happy ending. Eventually. Everyone loves a redemption arc, right? I don’t know how it would all come to a head. Maybe in the middle of a battle, maybe while facing down other rogues, and she realizes she might very well lose the two people who mean the most to her. 
Y’know how in ATLA, the gang kind of adopts Zuko? Imagine that, but with UB, haha.
Sorry, lol. This is probably way longer and way more detailed than you wanted, but I’m a sucker for any and all kinds of AUs and this was so much fun. Thank you, friend! You made the last four hours of my shift way more enjoyable, haha <3
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tumblingxelian · 2 years ago
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Honestly mostly an idle aside, but Cinder's personality basically being one giant trauma response makes her very fascinating to me and more to the point her identity basically being cobbled together from bits of other people she thinks are powerful means if she got dumped in the Ever After she'd likely crumble like ash and it'd be fascinating to watch. 
Like of all the villains Cinder would have the worst time there, followed by Mercury, then Adam. but I am less sure after that.
 I think Tyrian would be fine, he's very comfortable with who he is and quite self aware, so it'd just be regular trip ups, not "My identity is collapsing in on itself like a dying star" as the aforementioned three would get. 
Also I included Adam in that list cos his ego is super fragile, Blake one ups him and he tries to blow himself and everyone else up, so he'd be confident right up until one thing went wrong & crumbles.
And Mercury, well Tyrian broke this down for us in V6, Mercury is so much façade and self delusion that does not take well to those lies being challenged. 
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melancholypancakes · 2 years ago
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This is about Aphrodite telling Morpheus off and why they stopped being friends all those centuries ago.
Aphrodite:….
Dream:….
Aphrodite: Oneiros.
Dream: Aphrodite…I
Aphrodite: No, I don’t want to hear your excuses. You are going to hear me now.
Aphrodite: first, it was Nada a defenseless princess who fell in love with you, and when the sun punished her for being with you and killed her kingdom. She killed herself and when she refuse becoming Queen of the dreaming you banished her to hell?!
Dream: I-
Aphrodite: Then calliope! You two were great for each other! She made a child for you and her! When Orpheus beg you for help you denied him and left him for dead! He never forgave you! You drove calliope away, she was heartbroken!
Aphrodite: Titania, Alianora and Thessaly. Those women you abandon them when your “love” faded Thessaly saw through your lies and façade!
Dream: Aphrodite, you don’t-
Aphrodite: No! I’m not finished Oneiros. Our friendship, You never let me express my feelings! That is why we stopped being friends!
Dream:…I thought we stopped being friends because I said humanity is selfish and cruel.
Aphrodite: sure, that was bad but it was mostly because you were a shitty friend!
Aphrodite: Oneiros, you are so shallow, selfish, sexist, deceitful and you don’t know what love is!
Aphrodite: I always listen to you going on and on how you hated your siblings and how humanity was so selfish.
Aphrodite: But for a second when I express how I was unhappy in my marriage with Hephaestus, my relationship with my sons, Ares Arrogant, selfish attitude and Adonis death which shattered my heart.
Aphrodite breathes out on the verge of tears. Just thinking about Adonis and all her sins.
Aphrodite: you always cut me off and threw off it like it was nothing! I tried to help you with your happiness, love and friendship I have given you! But it was never enough.
Aphrodite: You treated me like dirt! Like I was nothing to you, I was your only friend and I stood up for you against your family and the gods!
Aphrodite: Its no wonder your family doesn’t like you! Or you don’t have any friends!
Aphrodite: at least, I acknowledge I was awful parent, lover, wife and goddess but you. Pretend it’s everyone else’s fault and not yours!
Dream, looks at Aphrodite with his glossy eyes as he tried to keep his composure.
Aphrodite: What makes this mortal witch, Y/n L/n any different?… all you’re going to do is break her apart like the others.
Aphrodite: What makes you think you’re worthy of love?
Dream:…Because I’m trying to be better. Aphrodite, listen more and ask for help more and that’s all thank to her.
Aphrodite:….
Dream: she accepts me for who I am. She doesn’t change me nor ask me of my past, she show me how humanity isn’t always cruel. She showed me ways to be better.
Dream: She’s different and…I deeply love her as she loves me, I’ve never felt this way about a mortal woman like her before.
Aphrodite looks at Oneiros for the first time in centuries with pity and forgiveness. Maybe they could put all this anger, sadness and betrayal behind them?
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beevean · 2 years ago
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How about a list of your favorite villains across media?
Wouldn't really know how to rank them but I can try :P
Eggman: funnily enough, it was Colors that made me realize "huh, he's actually a pretty good villain" lmao, so thanks Colors! Full of himself, iconic style, charismatic, he will destroy an ancient civilization site to take down his enemy and then build a circus in the same game (some of the games do a bang up job of displaying his personality without words!), proof that you can be both goofy and a serious threat.
Dahlia Hawthorne: absolutely my fave AA villain <3 she's petty and not even the final murderer, yet under her "cute girl who's secretly a bitch" façade lies an actual, scary demon, who doesn't even let death stop her from spreading her utter malice. Not even after Mia beautifully lays down how she's actually a miserable pathetic creature (which she is), does her creepy factor diminish.
Annie Wilkes: yeah an odd choice maybe, but Misery is one of my favorite books and Annie has so much presence and I was legit scared of her while reading. It's almost funny how she's essentially a parody of over-the-top entitled fans, and oh boy things did not get better since the '80s :)
Griffith: what can you say about this complex, tragic piece of shit? You can see him in many ways, you can blame him or forgive him depending on how much you believe in the effects of fate, he's mostly rememebered as "that asshole who raped Casca into insanity" but the arc he went through to get to that low point is only one of the many reasons the Golden Age arc is iconic. I like to see him as a stunted manchild who longed for human contact but his only way to get it was through control :)
Azula: nowadays I think she'd be treated more sympathetically due to her being a 14 yo girl raised by a monstruous dictator, but still, she starts off as a genuinely scary threat compared to the sympathetic Zuko, and her plan to take over the Earth Kingdom is actually clever ("don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player", fucking destroyed), but by the end of Book 3 you feel nothing but pity for the scared little girl with mommy issues she actually is.
Blue Diamond: she's always been my favorite of the Diamonds, and not just because she's beautiful :P she comes off as the "nice" Diamond, especially when juxtaposed to Yellow, and she has a soothing yet intimidating aura around her. But she's actually deeply selfish and callous, literally dragging everyone in her grief - her power immobilizes you with sheer sadness, it's almost scary - and she said she loved Pink a lot but she wasn't above abusing her. I find her fascinating. (I also like Yellow a lot for the opposite reasons: she has more redeeming qualities than one might think).
Beatrice Horseman: does she count? I'll count her. I hated her guts ever since S2E1, where she calls Bojack to outright tell him "you were born broken and there's nothing you can do about it", but then S4 comes around and man, does it recontexualize all the evil she did to Bojack. Not to the point of forgiving her (although Bojack's last moment of compassion gets me), but the entire situation, from her own childhood trauma to how she coped with it, is devastating, an excellent portrayal of the cycle of abuse.
Weil: at the cost of repeating myself, he's just a spiteful monster with zero redeeming qualities (dude manipulates two babies to do his evil bidding and it doesn't even scratch the surface), fully convinced that it's his own humanity who makes him such a monster, and you want him dead so badly
(shout out to Copy X, who is more minor than Weil but I like his concept a lot and I find him pathetic in a good way, super underrated and good thing he wasn't the real X turned evil)
Dracula: started off as a homage to horror movies, became a nearly Berserk-esque figure of a dark lord fated to die at the hands of his old friend's descendants and be brought back by humanity's darkest desires. You almost feel sorry for him and how he's nearly forced to be a monster... if it wasn't for his utter selfishness and petty spite against God that were there long before he became an avatar of Chaos.
Isaac: obviously :P minor villain that he is, he's an absolute delight, both an over the top petty asshole of a simp whose motivation is simply "make Hector suffer", and a tragic victim who did not deserve to see his whole life shatter in the span of a few minutes. Again, you'd feel very badly about him, and then you remember how he dangled Rosaly's head in front of Hector. Also Liam O'Brien <3
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nephilimborn · 2 years ago
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➻ MEET THE BLACKTHORNS. pt 1
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( from eldest to youngest, the nephilim blackthorn family )
➻ HELEN.
also born out of the union of lady narissa and andrew blackthorn, the first blackthorn child was born half-fae. raised in the shadowhunter culture / the bright glass towers of alicante seen from her childhood bedroom's window / she is a young kind woman that has been exiled away from her family after the cold peace. unlike mark, helen was allowed to keep contact with the rest of the siblings, for her exile had been masked as a business trip to investigate certain anomalities on the magic wards that protect idris, the shadowhunter headquarters and HOME. helen lives with her wife aline in a remote location known by no members of the family, fulfilling her duty with pride and resentment, before finally returning as the head of the los angeles institute, where most of the blackthorns reside, after the canon events of the books. mark misses his older sister constantly, for she is the only one of the blackthorns to truly understand the stigma that comes with being part fae, specially after the cold peace was installed.
➻ MARK.
second son, half-fae, adopted the eldest sibling role until he was ripped from his family and exiled to faerieland. there, he lost notion of time and identity under countless tortures and starving days. finally, he is reunited with his family under strange circumstances, used by the faerie courts to sabotage nephilim and wage another war. nonetheless, mark's strong love for his siblings and guilt over having abandoned his responsabilities would override every mind-trick and manipulation tactic used by his captors to ensure his loyalty. he feels deep hatred towards the clave for what has been done to his family and thousands other families just like his, yet he feels an even stronger hate towards himself for believing the lies, for thinking that his siblings were dead and there was nothing he could do, for disappearing when they needed their older brother the most.
➻ JULIAN.
eldest human son, an artistic soul crushed and broken by the weight on his shoulders. since the blackthorn parents were turned and murdered on the dark war, julian has been responsible for each blackthorn sibling. for their training, their hygiene, how much do they eat, what allergies they have. there is nothing that the eldest brother in the los angeles institute cannot do, taking care of the bills, the reports, and every important thing that you could ever imagine. of course, a sixteen year old can't be the official head of the institute, yet their uncle arthur, the actual director, was a shell of a man, obsessed with dark magic and possibly overriden by the shadowy claws of dementia / it left them no choice, if the blackthorns wanted to continue living in their home, it falls on julian to keep the façade. to continue the illusion. it will break him, it already is. just as his multiple obsessions, that thirst that cannot be quenched, will kill him. julian is obsessed with art, painting, drawing, and studying it. there's a secret hidden room in the institute where he disappears for hours at a time, mostly when the tide is down and the sea is calm, when the clave hasn't sent any messages and the fridge is full. specially, he is obsessed with drawing emma, his parabatai. a parabatai is a partner, a friend to cover your back until your last breath. her beautiful golden locks, in a perfectly crafted disarrey of aurean light, and those lioness' eyes. mark is sure their connection, and the tons in julian's shoulders, will be the start of the demise of the blackthorn family. ➻ TIBERIUS AND LIVIA
the twins, around fourteen years old when mark returns to the institute, he almost cannot recognise them. ty, a smart and shy young boy constantly engrossed in a detective novel ; livvy, a strong and extroverted girl, always ready to nag and scold her twin brother for this and that. they are joint by the hip, almost never found without the other close by, and of course, always getting into some mischief. investigating leads way too dangerous for them, spying on kind of suspicious allies, and turning every mundane activity into an exciting game of wits.
it is them who bring the most pain to mark, when he thinks about the years lost. he was never there to comfort ty when it got too loud, too crowded. he was never there to ask livvy gently to help him, to hear about her adventures and infamous deeds. it is them, ty with his kind caution around him, as if he's a feral animal. livvy with her scared looks, only there for a second but enough for him to retreat once again. it is livvy's death what ends up breaking them, what ends up pushing julian to his limit, mark to the deep pit of guilt, emma to recklessness.
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woozysloth · 1 year ago
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TAMERS CARD GAME AU 4 - JENRYA
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Jen doesn't really play the card game at the 'professional' or even semi-pro level anymore - which is weird, because last year (before he suddenly dropped out) he was on track to make the championship, if not win it.
Jenrya will say a few things, politely, to those who ask:
He wouldn't have won anyway, Ruki would have crushed him. Probably true.
He hasn't really kept up with the game, and would probably do badly. Both lies.
He doesn't want to compete this year. Mostly true.
He's not really a competitive person, after all.
That last one is...complicated. Jen is a competitive person, actually, beneath his very calm façade. Or at least he was. He doesn't want to be, not any more.
Last year, storming the local competitions, Jenrya was not exactly the friendliest looking face to have on the opposite of the field. He had a pretty ruthless streak in the games, and that weirdly emotive partner...well. It was practically inevitable that some kid, maybe a bit too young to be playing, was going to get upset.
Which might make a guy like Jen, ultimately a very nice boy at heart, feel guilty. And also that kid might have had an older sibling, who reacted badly to their bad reaction. And if that older kid were to come at Jen, who is perhaps even better at kenpō than at games, outside of the card game?
It's best to leave the fighting to the Digimon. But since fighting with Digimon led to...what it did, Jen swore off putting his cards and strategies on big scary holographic stages, or whatever actually goes on with that game.
But, Jen has played with his little sister. The actual game as well as talking to his cards with her. And he gets an awful lot more from these conversations than your average game of pretend. Then when Shuichon goes off to chase Culumon and they end up bumping into some kid with goggles and a weird obsession with his Digimon OC, it seems natural enough to help the guy out with his frankly appalling metagame.
Terriermon especially seems to enjoy watching Shuichon beat the kid at the game over and over. And Takato's actually really nice, if a bit of an oddball. So what's the harm?
As Jen inevitably falls back into direct competition, he finds himself struggling with his guilt about the way last year went down and his newly complicated feelings about what his dad seems weirdly keen to assure him are just bits of data attached to some foil. There's something strange at the heart of this game, isn't there?
Jen's only field Digimon, presently, are Terriermon and Lopmon - though he's willing to concede that Lopmon is more his sister's monster outside tournaments. They're small and smart, 'just like him', and they're great team players like he wants to be. They do well in most types of competitions, having particular advantages in armor and 'Xros Rules' competitions. (Jenrya, along with Ruki, is one of the few who 'gets' DigiXros matches.)
But his main advantage is that he's cool, calm and collected. It would take a lot to get him to freak out over a card game, even when he has such a fraught history with it. It's unlikely that things will ever get that intense again. And more intensity would be impossible. It's just a game.
It's just a game.
TERRIERMON & LOPMON
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A matching pair, though personality wise their AI seem to have diverged in pretty different directions. Terriermon is, to put it bluntly, a wiseacre brat with a mean streak behind his cheery demeanour and unfairly cute face. Lopmon is quiet and reserved, and it seems strange that she gets along better with the younger sister than the more similar Jenrya.
(I tend to mix original and dub terms anyway, but I've basically made Lopmon 'she' because the pronouns are easier to keep track of that way)
But they work well together, coming into games with some pre-packaged combination attacks, but somehow their more frequent 'socialisation' compared to other field monsters seems to give them even more advantages than just that- even if it's just in 'small' ways, like Terriermon taunting their opponents into making stupid mistakes.
For all that Terriermon takes the lead, he tends to be 'subordinate' in their DigiXros forms, except when his Child level combines with one of Lopmon's Adult levels to form the adorable martial artist 'Terruiemon' - a Turuiemon with Terriermon's palette and penchant for spinning around.
In comparison, Lopmon's evolutions exert more control in these matches, such as Andiramon gaining spinning axe machine guns, or Wendigomon getting some pretty sweet cybernetic additions from Rapidmon.
It's more often Lopmon that Jen evolves in any type of match as well, at least at first. It's not like Terriermon's evolutions aren't just as viable, if not more depending on the situation.
Could this all be a sign that Jenrya has a strained relationship with a chip inside a thin card designed for a children's game?
Nah. That's ridiculous.
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So why does it bother Jenrya so much?
That's the problem with being such an oddly philosophical tween - he never seems to run out of things to feel guilty and anxious about.
Maybe he really does need to take it easy. Playing a few friendly matches with some other kids might be just what he needs.
AN UNKNOWN RIVAL?
One of the more colourful characters in this year's tournament scene wears a truly wild costume to conceal his identity. There's a cape! He calls himself the 'next Digimon King' or 'Card Kaiser' or 'Emperor of Games' or something like that. He seems disdainful of pretty much everyone and everything, so it's hard to tell, but Jen could swear it seems like this kid has it out for him in particular.
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hannahssimblr · 2 years ago
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Do you relate to any of your ocs? If yes, why? 🚨 Send this to 10 simblrs you adore ❤️ (last bit is optional of course!)
hello <3<3 Yes of course! I relate to many of them for different reasons. I mean, mostly I relate to Evie because I've been living in her head for about 8 months now, but her teenhood insecurities and self-confidence issues were certainly things I struggled with when I was her age. The second guessing everything you do and say and the desperation to appear normal and cool was very much my existence.
I can also relate to her need to avoid conflict, I'm not a fan of arguments and while I wouldn't tell the gargantuan lies that she does to avoid them, I can certainly understand the urge to.
With the others, I relate to Jude's silly humour, Jen's susceptibility to put her foot in things, Kelly's jealousy, Claire's thirst for gossip and Shane's ability to see beyond the façade and understand what's going on with friends.
None of them and all of them are me, I guess!
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fromgallowsandgraves · 2 years ago
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⚜ (Eva)
I used Spotify's AI DJ to make a random playlist for our muses.
First meeting: Bus Stop – The Hollies Getting to know each other: The Riddle – The Scarlet Pimpernel Original Broadway Cast Escorting them back home: This Masquerade – Carpenters Longing: Hopelessly Devoted to You – Olivia Newton-John Going to a party together: Façade – Jekyll and Hyde the Musical Original Broadway Cast Defending them in a fight: Dies Irae – Various Artists (Verdi’s Requiem) Confessing their feelings: Tell Me Lies – Fleetwood Mac Sharing a romantic/friendshippy moment: Rewrite the Stars – Zac Efron, Zendaya A tragic turning point: Bad Blood – Bastille Heated argument: Hotel California – Eagles Goodbyes: You Never Give Me Your Money – The Beatles Change of minds: Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In (The Flesh Failures) – The 5th Dimension The final battle: Eleanor Rigby – The Beatles Reunion: With Or Without You – U2 Happy ending: Atlantis – Donovan
Okay, so a few songs are out of order or just don't fit at all, but it mostly does seem to work for stringing a story together with a happy meet-cute and Eva trying to bring Adam into her world/society, where he develops a deep distrust of it, and maybe even of Eva herself. But no matter how bad things get, he also can't bring himself to leave her.
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piracytheorist · 2 years ago
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Twilight says he's had relationships with countless women for his missions, and I wonder how many (if any) of them were anything close to what he has with Yor now.
While acting as "Robert", he's in a relationship with Karen, who considers the possibility of them getting married at some point an actual possibility (also the fact that Twilight knew how many moles she had on her body suggests they were intimate, aka quite serious at least in her mind). But it was all fake so he could gather intel on her father.
So his relationships with other women included him a) using them to get intel and/or b) pretending to be in love with them and entering a relationship knowing they actually have feelings for him that he doesn't reciprocate nor plans to.
But with Yor, he doesn't need to use her for intel (when he put a bug on her, it was to ensure she wasn't threatening, and then even felt guilty for doubting her); Yor is the one who first asks him to play her boyfriend, and he's then open about what he'll gain from her helping him back; Yor is the one who suggests they get married; they start their marriage with a clear and mutual agreement of no feelings attached, and a (mostly) clear understanding of what each one earns from this arrangement.
And the way he's honest to her about what he wants from her, the way he doesn't have to pretend he's attracted to her in order to keep their marriage going... it's probably the first time he's had such an honest relationship with someone who isn't a fellow agent. He can let loose, just a tiny bit, both from the lies he's told other women and the collected façade he puts on in front of his colleagues.
Above all, Yor feels like a secure person to him. And it's this security he feels with her that slowly allows emotions to take root.
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double--cross-d · 2 years ago
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Uhm... personality headcannons bc I can't keep them to myself. (No The One Who Waits bc I'm not to interested in him :/)
Leshy
Leshy is about as chaotic as you'd think a god of chaos would be (IE VERY.) He can also flip on a dime from being very calm to fucking pissed at a follower. Kinda taught all his followers thst death is a-ok as long as it's over something you believe in, that way, he could follow older brother Kallamar's example and play favorites when sacrificing them without his cult knowing! Genuinely doesn't think what he's doing is morally wrong, Cannibalism, Mass Sacrifices, and having followers fight to the death is A-Ok. Was mostly treating the Lamb's crusade over his domain like a game, until he sent his boyfriend to kill them and he didn't return : / Admires his 3 older siblings a lot!
Heket
Arrogant and hot headed. Was the one who called on the genocide of lambs because it was the only plausible option. Claims she cares about her followers but also made all of them cannibals because, "There's always food if you're desperate enough." Puts on a caring guardian façade with her followers to lessen the chance of dissention, however if it does arise, a little murder always works! Would also fucking murder you if you hurt her siblings (or hit on her). Hates The One Who Waits with every fiber of her being for what he DID to her family, and refuses to let Leshy know that the one who blinded him was his brother.
Kallamar
His arrogance is arguably worse than Heket's because at least she tries to pretend she's a good person. He is very open about infecting all his followers with chronic illness, and proud of it. Plays favorites with his followers, the ones that are more devoted suffer less, and his favorites aren't even infected. Very cold and will loudly berate his followers if they do not follow his orders. Rules mostly through fear and tortures dissenters into loyalty. Played the, "I have anxiety, pwease be nice to me?" card when the lamb came round, though he still fears The One Who Waits and refuses to talk about him anymore. Surprisingly caring when it comes to the siblings, especially Heket (those are his fucking spare parts! (Twins))
Shamura
Pre-brain damage Shamura and Post-Brain Damage Shamura act completely fucking differently.
Pre-Brain Damage: The twins learned it from the best! While they were very kind and caring when raising all their siblings, they were also completely focused on their domain of war. They'd preach to their followers about the outside world being a dangerous place, and if any outsiders came in Shamura would control them to attack their followers to deepen their lies. Would often be violent and even kill their own followers for minor slip ups like takilng out of line (when there wasn’t a child in their care that is) but a ruthless leader is needed to defend them from the horrors of the outside world. Could be very condescending when answering questions (that they thought were simple ones, which was almost all of them)
Post-Brain Damage: Holy shit did their methods do a fucking 270. While now they focused more on their domain of knowledge (bc it was harder to fight once they were almost killed) they still preach about the outside world (aside from communities who've accepted the old faith) being dangerous. Their arrogance is almost nonexistent, and they'd probably be fond of discussing books over a cup of tea. Although most dissenters are still executed, they're more willing to re-educate dissenters if they aren't too far gone. Respects their siblings more, and is more willing to assist with their troubles past simply offering advice. Also have I mentioned that all of their followers are brainwashed from being mind controlled so many times? Yeah that's something that happened.
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henrysglock · 8 days ago
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People rag on me for the things I point out about Patty, but they forget that I also criticize Henry's behavior.
See: An excerpt from Chapter 1 of my masterdoc
Throughout The First Shadow, Henry is more than open about there being some amorphous "thing" wrong with him, but he won't fully acknowledge the source and extent of the problem. He won't tell himself the full truth, and more importantly he won’t tell Patty the full truth. To a degree, he uses the "miracle" pedestal bestowed upon him by Patty multiple times throughout Act I to hide the full nature of his affliction from her and from himself, to hide that maybe he's not as pure as he'd like the both of them to pretend he is, and to hide it as long as physically possible. He wants Patty to love him, to believe in him, to not abandon him, so he lies by omission and hides the nature of his “sickness” from her as much as he can. He doesn't tell her the full truth, and for a good portion of the play he relies on her superhero/miracle notion as a mask to hide behind to maintain their friendship. Henry and Patty's connection is, even to the uncritical eye, built on the façade of "Henry is a miracle and a superhero, not a morally fallible victim". Brenner shatters that façade in hopes of causing Patty and Henry to reject each other, thereby breaking Henry's lingering attachment to her.
Henry isn't genuine with her either! Henry doesn't trust her enough to tell her the truth, and he thinks he's uniquely situated to protect her by not telling her the truth. That isn't healthy! That's not a good relationship! H3ntty is not built on solid ground from Henry's side either, and that's part of what makes it so easy for Brenner to drive a wedge between them at the end.
Henry is put (and then places himself of his own accord) on a pedestal the way El is placed/places herself on a pedestal—if he's not perfectly normal, he's a monster, and the only other option is "superhero".
That's no basis for a strong, healthy relationship. Patty has her issues, but Henry has issues too, and I'm openly critical of them. Henry lies all the time, mostly by omission, and mostly with the goal of protecting others or maintaining his "normal" status.
H3ntty didn't fall apart just because of Patty. H3ntty also fell apart because Henry doesn't feel safe with anyone, and he knows form experience that most people will at some point be genuinely afraid of him—barring Brenner, who says as much ("You think you can scare me?").
Patty may be Henry's friend, but she's also afraid of him, deep down, once she knows the truth. Brenner may not be friendly 80% of the time, but he's the only one who's not afraid of Henry despite knowing the truth. That's what makes Brenner such an effective wedge!
But it wouldn't be possible without Henry and Patty both having massive weak spots in their relationship.
If Patty had been pushier about hearing the truth about what's wrong with Henry instead of being pushy about what Henry can do for her, then we might have ended up with a more Lumax-type relationship—WHICH I WOULD HAVE ENJOYED. Alas, Henry also a) loves the curtain because he thinks it's the only way he can be loved and b) doesn't trust Patty enough to put his foot down and say "no, I need you to know the full scope of the situation". It's a lose-lose scenario.
It's so funny, too, because I was expecting to watch TFS and see Henry and Patty in a real, healthy relationship. I was expecting them to be in love/super lovey-dovey. And then it just didn't happen.
And I do often wish it had been like that, because I think Henry deserves to be loved and have a healthy relationship in his life, and I think Patty deserves that same kind of genuine devotion back—not just to be used as a bandaid for mommy issues and feelings of being "othered".
But it just was not there. It's not in the plot beats of the show. I do wish Henry had had any healthy romantic interest, because it would have been very good for him. But it just was not there.
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