#or happen way after the main plot im trying to plan

[saltpotion]

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[fleurriee]

— here with you ; neteyam sully

pairing ; neteyam sully x fem!reader

synopsis ; sometimes, things can just get too much for you - especially when you feel like the entire world is against you. but, it isn’t, because neteyam’s there, and he’ll always be there.

word count ; 7.2k

themes ; angst, fluff, established relationship (mates)

warnings ; death of parents, panic/anxiety attacks...

author’s note ; these requests are always taking me so long & im so sorry about that,, i guess i just want them to be perfect, so i then get kinda scared to start them.. but i loved this one, so tysm for requesting!! this was also a bit sadder than i think either of you wanted but this plot came to me the instance i read these sososososo <33 i also want to say that im in no way trying to romanticise these particular situations & if it’s coming across that way, please let me know and help me understand how i can change it <3 requested & requested

main masterlist request a fic!

Standing side by side, yourself and Neteyam stood tall and proud, for once no eyes upon the two of you, but the ceremony playing out before you. You were next to the rest of Neteyam’s family, too, each of them paying close attention to those in front of them.

At the very front of the entire clan stood two Na’vi, face to face with beaming smiles upon their features, eyes never once leaving one another’s as they started to speak their vows to one another, but also to the Great Mother herself. It was their mating ceremony, one that had been planned for a few weeks now, and the entire clan had come together in order to celebrate such a special day alongside them.

Even you can see it’s a beautiful, such ethereality emanating around you and pulsing with life, as if the earth around you could feel the happiness on top, too, wanting to join in and feel the same things. Bioluminescent fauna had been plucked by foragers and strung up all around the area, flickering on and off with a heartbeat of life, and creating an effervescent glow that shone down on them. Platters of food that had been hunted, prepared and cooked beforehand were surrounding them, piled high with all sorts, but particularly the mate’s favourites, seeing as it was their day. And, the people - they were covered head to toe paint that represented the Omatikaya clan, flowers placed delicately into woven hair and beads hanging from their necks to signify their strength in the clan, in the union before them, relishing in the feeling over not only the couple coming together as one, but the entire clan, too.

The love that could be felt all around was encapsulating - it was hard to ignore from the moment it was announced they were to mate in a few weeks time, let alone the day it would be happening. It was obvious from where you were standing beside your own mate that they were meant to be together, that Ewya had chosen yet again another good match, and each and every one of the people were excited to see them grow.

And, you were happy for them, of course you were. You’d give anything to have others understand and experience the love you felt for Neteyam, because it was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of feeling. It was a feeling where all you really knew was him, one where he felt like your other half, like your soul had been split into two and given over to him to carry and hold onto you with the utmost care. He did the same thing with your heart, after all - always holding it close to his own, caressing it with gentle touches and soft kisses, constantly reminding you of the love he held for you, too, as you did the same with his heart in your own calloused hands.

But, despite repeatedly telling yourself that you weren’t going to do this today, that you were going to be happy and deal with your lingering emotions after the ceremony itself, you own reprimands didn’t work. It was their day, you should’ve been watching them, but they were standing too close for you to simply ignore…

It was always custom for both pairs of parents to be up their with their children whilst they were bonding before both Ewya and the clan, standing behind their children and watching with the proudest smiles possible. Loving eyes reflected down up them, some even shedding a few tears, smiles wide and ecstatic, no doubt their minds already how the rest of their lives were going to play out.

You heart broke at the sight of them, both pairs, all four individual parents, watching and smiling and just being there. As soon as your eyes settled on them, it was so difficult to get and move them away. The longer you stared, the more your resolve began to crack, piece by piece, until you were sure you were going to shatter.

Many years ago, when you were younger, just a small Na’vi child growing up in a clan that appreciated every one of its people, attempting to make a place for yourself in its vast expanses… your parents fatally died. It was during another war with the humans, the evilness coming back and spreading like a disease until it felt the tortuous need to take not only one, but both of your parents away from you. You’re not entirely sure what exactly killed them, refusing to ask, knowing it would only make you spiral down until you were too scared you’d never make your way back up, but you’d have a general idea, and that haunted you more often than you’d like to admit.

Because you were only a child - a child that needed their mother to show her what it was to be a woman, teach her the way of how to properly care for a family and their mate, but staying strong and fierce and protective; a child that needed their father to ensure she was always safe in the care of his arms, to teach her how to hunt and fight back whenever someone was mean, or stand her ground against those that wished her harm to her heart.

But, you’d barely gotten that far with them.

Your parents’ deaths had hit you harder than you could’ve ever anticipated - sure, it was always going to be a difficult journey you were forced to embark on, but not one would you have believed it would still be here now, keeping you awake some nights and feeling as though it was slowly going to tear you apart and ruin the life you’d somehow managed to make for yourself, without them.

For all your time with them, you had been so incredibly close, that when they died, it felt like a part of yourself had been ripped away with them, too; as though you now had a whole within your soul that you could never get back, that always stay missing. You were their only child - having never been given the opportunity of having more the way they’d wanted - so they were constantly doting on you, showing you their ways and becoming your bestest friends.

They weren’t just your parents - they were your people.

Throughout the beginning, people were always around you, sheltering you with careful hands like you were suddenly made of fragile glass; and, you guess you were, because one wrong word, and the floodgates would open and it would be incredibly difficult to force them closed again. So many people from your clan offered you their aid, allowing you their shoulders to cry on or to talk to them about whatever was bothering you, offering up their time and their patience and their advice, just so you could be a small semblance of normality for once. Even people you had never spoken to before had come up to you, offering you their condolences and reassuring you that it’ll eventually get better.

But, it hadn’t - not really. Even though you were doing okay, you were happy with a mate and his family, with a future held close to your heart that you were excited to explore… and yet, their memories still echoed within the confines of your mind, sometimes praising and doting on you, sometimes screaming and yelling at you. It felt like a never ending cycle, and you couldn’t tell if you wanted it to disappear, or keep it with you, just to hear their voices one last time, even if they were disappointed in you.

You appreciated everything the clan was doing for you throughout such a tough time, but you never took any of them up on their sweet offers. You knew each and every one of them meant what they’d said to you, that you were more than welcome inside their homes to talk, but you couldn’t bring yourself to walk through the tent flap and ask for help.

None of them would truly know what you’d gone through at such a young age, at least not those that hadn’t been through a similar situation yourself. If they hadn’t had a family member as close as you were to your parents yourself, you found there was no real point in confiding in them when the advice they’d give you would only feel invalid.

Despite your mind tearing in to two polar opposites - one side screaming at you to get help, to talk all your rantings out into the open air so you weren’t as burdened as you were with them, and the other side echoing negative thoughts of they’d never understand, it’s all false, they don’t really care - there were two people who had an understanding of your emotions. Jake and Neytiri - the Olo’eyktan and his mate. Those two had gone through their own traumatic experiences that were similar to your own - both of them losing family they loved irrevocably due to such terrible circumstances, and still managing to come out on top, something you continued to look up to massively to this day.

With that in mind, knowing how you looked up at them like they had all the answers you’d ever needed or wanted, they took you under their wing. They became a second set of parents, so to speak - although they both knew they could never replace your biological ones - but it was something that slowly began to help your journey back to what you hoped was normalcy. They helped you grow as if you were their own, sheltering you from the harsh realities of your world, but shaping you into the woman you are today, at the same time. They tried their best to act as though your parents would’ve done in certain circumstances, knowing when these things happened, your glossy eyes would travel through a crowd in search for their warm presence, only to come up empty and cold.

That emptiness and coldness didn’t last long, however, not when Jake and Neytiri were just a step behind you, ready to envelop you in their own warmth and cage you away until you were happy again.

This was something that was always inevitable, though, being a part of the Sully family. Both Jake and Neytiri, alongside your own parents, had previously been discussing the idea of you and Neteyam (their firstborn) mating when you become of age, believing you to be a match made in heaven and perfect for one another. And, for a while, they were just hushed discussions of possibilities hidden away from any other prying ears, excitement coursing through the four of them at the idea of such a future.

When your parents died, that never stopped their ideas - no, if anything, it only fuelled it on more. Jake and Neytiri knew how excited your parents were at their own child having a mate, let alone one who was always known to be such a gentleman, so sweet and caring, never mind being next in line for Olo’eyktan. They knew despite the horrific change of events you found yourself in, they’d want you to be the happiest you could be, by finding a mate you adored and moving on to create your own family, even if it absolutely broke your heart to begin with.

So, it was almost a perfect slot of the puzzle - having you around all the time, now living with the rest of the Sully family as the two of them cared for you the way you always deserved, gave them the opportunity to slowly push you and Neteyam closer together. And, as time slowly trickled by, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, each one filled with thoughts of your parents smiling faces, you began to fall in love with him, just like they’d always imagined you doing.

Of course, it was a slightly rocky relationship to begin with. You were still in your mourning period - and, you’d argue that you still weren’t entirely out of it now - meaning you’d rather have just melted away into the shadows so you could cry silently to yourself in your despair, not wishing to bother anyone with your true emotions. It can be hard to talk to people sometimes, when they know what you’ve been through, such a private side of your life you wished you could keep in secret, when they treated you like the child you always were… like you were always going to be the same age you were when they died, like you’d died that day, too.

Neteyam was… persistant, however, wanting to see you come out of your shell and be the person you were before, because he’d always thought you were cute, inside and out. He took his time, making sure to take small steps so as not to overwhelm you all at once, but things like seeking you out in a crowd and checking in on you, inviting you to places and bringing you wherever with him, being there to listen to every single one of your rambles, no matter how long they took, and calming you down when it all became too much… it all exuded the strength of his will and determination full of both love and meaningfulness.

He was perfect - Neteyam was perfect, and whilst it took you a little while to warm up to him and fully realise it… you were falling in love with him.

After a while, Jake and Neytiri had told you the truth; about all those times themselves and your parents had spoken about the two of you mating. They were expecting backlash, mainly from yourself, but instead all your felt was warmth in your heart. Somehow, even in death, your parents were looking out for you - they’d known all the time that Neteyam was the one for you, planning this out for a surprise, and even when they were no longer standing beside you, they were guiding you along the path made specifically for you.

You’d never been looking forward to something as much as your own mating ceremony - Neteyam was the one for you, someone you couldn’t wait to truly start the rest of your life with. And, as any Na’vi do, they have their mating ceremony, standing at the front of the clan as they recite their vows and speak the words of thanks to the Great Mother, before celebrations commence whilst the newly appointed mates leave to bond with Tsaheylu.

The two of you had that when the time came, the atmosphere around you buzzing and the life emanating from absolutely everything showing off such beauty it started to tear up your eye line. The excitement you were feeling was unlike anything else, naturally so, eyes crinkled and smile beaming as all you felt was elevation, looking up at your mate as he smiled down at you like he was the luckiest Na’vi alive.

But, there was a realisation that came to you full force, smacking you in the head and forcing you back down to reality as your features started to fall…

Your parents weren’t there…

They should’ve been - they were your parents. They should’ve been stood right behind you, looking down at your elated form, all beaming smiles and teary eyes, proud as they watched you take the next step in your life, moving on from one chapter to the next in bliss.

And, whilst they were still looking down at you now, even in that moment, it wasn’t the same - it was never going to be the same. They were too far away, too high up for you to reach out and grab them and try and pull them back down, all so you could embrace them wholly again and force them to stay at home that particular day. No matter how much you imagined it in your mind, it was never going to happen - you couldn’t change what had already been done.

Your once blissful mood had tumbled off the edge when such a painful realisation hit you, despite wishing to have kept up with the happiness of your ceremony. Once holding on tightly to Neteyam’s hands, they now became looser, like you weren’t feeling it all as much as you were before, your eyes becoming glossy as they glazed over, and your ears falling flat against your head in despair. You looked so broken in that moment, when it was supposed to be a happy day.

Taking one look at you, for just a split second, Neteyam had grown terrified that you’d gotten cold feet, that you no longer wished to be his mate and wanted to run away as far as possible from him and pretend like none of this ever happened. He wouldn’t know what he’d do if that was the case - he’d wanted you to call his own for as long as he could remember, so this possibility was nerve-wracking and scary for him.

But, when his eyes trailed over your dejected form and over to his parents, eyes pleading with them for help as he wondered what he should do, as he wondered how to understand, the both of them came to the same conclusion. Instantly, they understood what was wrong in your sudden change of mood, of what had caused it. They knew the signs, they could tell just by the way you acted. Jake and Neytiri had spoken of this beforehand, about there being an obvious gap that would be noticeable during the ceremony, and they knew that eventually, you would come upon that realisation, too. So, they’d prepared for it.

With precise movements, Neytiri moved away from her spot that was once behind Neteyam, and moved closer to yourself, standing where your parents would’ve been. She gave a gentle touch to your shoulder, one that felt instantly reassuring, that spoke words describing how proud she was of you, how much you meant to her, that you would always be apart of the family, no matter what. To her, you would always be her daughter, regardless of whether you were mated to Neteyam or not.

You looked over your shoulder at her, receiving a loving, tender smile, her head tilted to the side slightly and her eyes full of sympathy. It filled your heart with warmth to see her standing behind you, ensuring you that your parents were still there in spirit, that she would take the mantle and make things so much easier for you. Such a sight spoke more than words ever could, slowly starting to feel like you could do this, as you turned back to Neteyam, sending him a gentle smile and nodding, letting him know that this what definitely what you wanted.

It would never have been the same without your parents there, of course - that was a given - but this was the next best thing, and you would take it with open arms. With Neytiri behind you, Jake not too far and your loving Neteyam in front of you, you knew that you’d always have a family, a home, a place and a people to call your own.

Unfortunately, despite these little assurances you received every so often, it never meant your heartbreak went away.

It got better with time, just like everything did, and slowly but surely, it become something you could live with. But, there were always going to be certain circumstances where everything became too much, where you remembered all your old feelings and emotions, coming back stronger and harsher; struggling to keep your emotions at bay and hidden away from any prying eyes, willing the fear back into your eyes before you made a scene on a day that wasn’t about you.

So, breathing deeply and sucking it up, you forced your eyes to stay on the happy couple, watching the mating ceremony before you. You listened to their reciting vows, loving looks shared between them, their parents behind them, proud, and the clan around you cheering in celebration, in jubilation.

Without having realised it until now, you were holding your breath, like at any moment you knew you were going to explode. Heartbeat picking up in its speed, you can’t quite bring yourself to let the breath go, to sigh in relief that everyone was starting to disperse around you so the rest of the celebration can begin. Instead, you’re instantly rushing away, making quick work with your movements to get as far away as possible. You don’t bother saying anything to your family as you continue to push past people in a hurry, no apologies or goodbyes slipping from your tongue - all you know is you’re desperate for more air and less people.

Unknown to you, however, during that entire ceremony, Neteyam could feel the emotions that were emanating off of you like you were wearing them on your sleeve. His eyes had constantly trailed down to your smaller frame, watching you for any signs of distress or panic. When he’d found what he could originally feel, he felt his heart break, knowing that you were in pain, and that it was only moments before you’d need to leave.

Before the end of the ceremony occur, he’d given his mother a subtle look and a nod your way, a sure sign of letting her know that the two of you were bound to be gone for a short time afterwards. Taking one look at you, she’d understood immediately. Her response was a firm nod and reassuring smile to her son (he used to be quite nervous at trying to calm you down, wanting to get everything right and make you happy again - but, the more he’d done it, the better he’d gotten at it… still, it didn’t hurt to reassure him), whispering what was happening over to Jake so he didn’t make it so obvious when you’d leave.

You could tell all of this had gone on without you originally knowing, just by the sound of his footsteps close behind you, trailing your every step as he followed further and further away, into the dense forest. His presence was obvious, too, the feel of his surrounding you whole, enveloping you into his warm embrace and closing around you, shielding you, protecting you, ensuring you always felt safe.

That’s how it was with Neteyam - no matter the situation, no matter the place, he was always going to be one step behind you.

You feet continued to carry you away from the hustle and bustle of the clan, the happiness and cheering becoming nothing but white noise to your eyes. Instead, the sounds of soft chirping filled your senses, leaves and branching crunching underfoot, the wind cascading against the fauna with a swoosh, rustling this way and that. It was always so beautiful out here - the way the moons eclipsed within the expanse of the sky, shining down like a beacon of hope upon your broken body, ikrans flying over its shadow like a good omen - but, you struggled to truly appreciate it when you felt like this.

Whenever you felt this way, Neteyam knew to give you your own space, giving you time to yourself so you could sort everything out, everything that was echoing within your mind and trying to tear you down. He didn’t want to bombard you with too much all at once, previous experience having taught him that it wasn’t exactly a great idea - it’d only make you worse. In time, after thinking things over and sorting yourself out, he knew you’d go to him for all the comfort you needed. That’s when he’d be there for you, waiting with arms wide open and ready to whisper sweet nothings in your ear until you were a giggling, blushing mess all over again.

So, when you stop within a part of the forest that’s barely considered a clearing - the surroundings dense with both a mixture of fauna and flowers, their colours eclipsing one another until it seemed just a mangled mess; birds continuously chirping at the tops of the trees like an echoing lullaby that wasn’t doing much help for you in that particular moment - you pick a random tree and sit down in front of it, leaning against it as your back scratches harshly against the bark, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You hang your head low, curling your knees closer to your chest and encasing your arms around them, like a means of protecting yourself from the harsh realities of your world.

Neteyam stops in his steps, looking down at you with a broken heart, wishing upon everything else that he could just mend your own before he attempted his. If he could take your pain away, he would do it in an instant - your happiness and your smile and your laugh was everything to Neteyam, and he’d give anything to experience them over and over again until the Great Mother decided his time was up.

With a hesitant breath, Neteyam sits down beside you, keeping close, but too close as to make you feel claustrophobic. His eyes stay on your figure, carefully bringing his up out in front of your hanging head like an offering. You noticed his hand within your peripheral vision, and your heart stuttered a beat when you realised what he was insinuating. Gratitude courses through your system at his cautious movements, his silence, allowing you to make these choices on your own, but still continuing to be there for you exactly as you needed him.

Reaching out, you hesitantly take his within your palm, feeling the sudden sensations of his gentle caresses that always work to soothe your skin. Suddenly, you’re melting into his embrace like you were a part of him completely, leaning fully against his figure and placing your head on top of his shoulder. You slotted into place - made for him, carved beautifully just for him by Ewya herself.

It’s silent between the two of you for a short while, Neteyam’s mind conjuring up possible ways he can make you feel whole again, and your own racing with so many terrible thoughts you wish to escape from. He knows it’s better for the both of you if you speak up first, saying what you need to say before he joins in with his comforting words, but he feels completely shattered when the noises of your little sniffles reaches his ears, the faint touch of a cold tear dropping onto his skin.

He’s glad you decided to speak up here - he doesn’t know how he’d have reacted if you only cried. He always told himself he’d tear down the world to ensure your happiness, and not many people (including himself) wanted to see such a thing happen.

“It’s too much sometimes, ‘teyam…” you starts, voice quiet and fragmented, mixing in with your stuttered breaths and heart-wrenching tears. It’s like you’re scared to admit the truth, making it all the more real, despite him already knowing you like he knows the scars on the back of his hand. “The ceremony - it was beautiful, and I was so incredibly happy for them, because it’s a day that only ever happens once and it should be magical, but…” you hesitate, finding the right words to get your point across. “They were there.”

Neteyam doesn’t need to ask for any specifications, he doesn’t need to ask who you mean by that. He’d seen it in your eyes when he was watching you during the ceremony, how they glazed over, but still struggled to move away from the one place that was causing you the most pain. “Their parents were there for the whole thing,” you continue, “they got to watch their babies grow up into a true Na’vi, as they finally found their one, their person… mine didn’t.”

You let out a shuddering breath, one that has t ou struggling for a moment, before attempting to collect yourself as you finally came clean. Nuzzling further into Neteyam’s side for more comfort that he was happy to offer, you let everything out. “I know it’s wrong to think such a thing, but it’s just so… unfair.” You said the word with so much disdain, with venom, it was clear to Neteyam that you meant every word, that you were speaking the truth you’d been so ashamed to admit before. “Why do they get to be there for their children’s ceremonies, but mine didn’t? What did mine do wrong?”

Letting out a sigh of defeat, you’re quick to continue on before Neteyam can start to reassure you like he always does, like he was so close to doing. “What if…” you stop, swallowing deeply and wondering whether you should be admitting this. “What if one day, I’m not there for my children?” Admittance should be a relief, it should feel as though you’ve finally gotten something from your chest so you can move on, but right now, it doesn’t feel that way. No, you just feel ashamed and disappointed at yourself for thinking such negative thoughts - hoping above all Neteyam doesn’t think the same way about you now. “What if something happens to me and I can’t be there when they need me? I don’t want them to go through what I went through - I know how much it breaks the heart, the soul, and-”

You’re rambling - you know you are - but, when you start, it’s always a difficult struggle to stop. And, you’re ramblings only cause you to struggle to breathe, too, your overshared, spiralling thoughts making you feel the worse you’ve ever felt. It shouldn’t feel this way, and yet, it does.

But, with Neteyam there, just a hairs breadth away from you, you know you’ll always be fine - because he always makes you feel better. These feelings will never go away - that much was obvious - but, you could forget about them for a short while, pretend like they didn’t exist. That was the best you could do, for now.

After experiencing several of these episodes together beforehand, Neteyam knows what do - he knows what’s best for you and what isn’t; what will make you feel reassured and what will only make you want to disappear all the more. He’s not proud to say that he knows these things from having accidentally gone through them before, but he was technically still learning everything about you, back then. As time drifted further on, he eventually knew everything about you, like a mate should.

With careful, gentle movements, like the perfect gentleman Neteyam has always been, he moves himself around from where he’d previously been behind you, so that he was now seated in front of you, facing one another. The front of your legs are touching, feeling the heat radiate from his body to your own, and when you look up at him with your big, glossy, doe-like eyes, he can’t help but feel like he’s experiencing your pain, too.

Neteyam slowly untangles your legs from around themselves, instead wrapping them around his waist and tugging you closer to him. Your fronts are now pressed together, bringing your foreheads against one another with a gentle touch. This has always arguably been your favourite position to be in with Neteyam - something about it screams the love you have for one another out into the universe. The way your pressed so close together, practically becoming one; the way you can pull one another closer, safe in each other’s arms from anything daring enough to attempt to threaten you; the way all you can see is him, wholly and beautifully and completely.

With his eyes never leaving your features, not even for one second, he looks down at you in adoration, in reassurance, wanting - needing - you to feel every words his speaks, to understand it’s truth. “Breathe with me, yawne (beloved),” he instructs, soft and affectionate. You listen to him, matching his breathing with your own and closing your eyes, feeling him, hearing him. Bringing your hands up to his shoulders, you caresses him against the sides of his neck, needing him whole, your once stuttering breaths gradually calming down a little.

However, it’s obvious that you’re not quite feeling entirely better yet - and, he can’t exactly blame you for feeling since away. Everything you’d previously gone through must be swirling around in your mind, eating away at you like a disease you couldn’t be rid of. It was time-consuming, all-encompassing, but it was you, and he’d have all of you before he had none of you.

Whilst one of his hands moves to rub gently against your arm, the other moves behind his back, slowly bringing his queue forwards as he gives you another offering, this one in regards to Tsaheylu. He gives you a soft, encouraging smile, letting you know that he’s okay with either answer you give him - he just wants you comfortable, above all else.

Sometimes, this is something the two of you do - bonding. Growing up, you learnt that Na’vi had different perspectives on when it came to bonding through Tsaheylu, possibly depending on what they’d heard and what they’d grown up knowing. You’ve heard that others only really see it as a sexual bond between two mates, helping them conceive quicker and expand their family. But, you - you’d always thought different.

Throughout the majority of your life you got to spend with your parents, you often saw them bonding this way, connecting their queues so they were able to share their thoughts, their feelings, let the other know them inside and out. You briefly remember a much younger version of yourself asking to join in, feeling left out, and that’s when they’d told you what the action truly meant - that it was a special connection between mates, one that Ewya granted amongst her children so they were able to come together as one soul, rather than two people. Ever since then, it was something you’d always wanted to experience.

And, ever since you first bonded with Neteyam on the night of your own mating ceremony, the two of you found it to be exactly as you had parents had first described it to you. A connection where you can take their pain away, where you can experience things together, where you can show how much you truly love someone.

But, you’re scared. You’re scared to share everything with Neteyam through Tsaheylu because he’ll know everything then. And, even though you’ve already admitted some of your feelings to him previously - including your worries regarding your own future children - there are still some lingering thoughts that you consider bad, that you don’t want to admit to him, simply because you don’t know how he’ll react.

Then, you remember who you’re talking about - Neteyam. Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, who has never once belittled you for feeling a certain way; who has always been there for you through both the best of times and the worst of times; who was the only one to slowly bring you out of your shell during a time when it felt like everything was running to an end… and consequently falling in love with him in the process.

This was your mate.

So, hesitantly nodding, you move a shaky hand behind you to grab your own queue, bringing it forward and allowing the tendrils to connect, wrapping the cords like a dance at their own ceremony. Their slow movements cause the feeling of everything Neteyam to course through your system, rushing through until it reaches your brainwaves. You can feel everything he’s ever felt in his life, the ones aimed particularly at you coming to the forefront of both your mind’s, basking in their presence. He’d pushed those ones forward on purpose - he’d wanted you to know everything he feels about you.

Looking up at him, your fingers tapping nervously against the skin of his neck with a tap, tap, tap rhythm, you almost expect him to be nursing a confused expression, or maybe even slightly angry. You were ready for him to have come to the understanding of the thoughts you were so scared to admit, waiting for him to start wondering why you’d think such things in the first place. But, he doesn’t - instead, his eyes flutter open to look lovingly down at you, like you’re so unbelievably ethereal, and completely the most beautiful Na’vi from Ewya’s creations. His head turns slightly to the side, smile wide and toothy, canines on show and eyes shining, and such a reaction only causes you heart to flutter all the more.

He doesn’t mind the negative thoughts - to him, they weren’t that negative, anyway. But, he knew they were taking a toll on you, bouncing against the sides of your mind with taunting whispers. Neteyam hoped you’d know that none of that bothered him, not when he wanted all of you.

It always amazes you and makes you feel safe, validated, when Neteyam does things like this. You have no idea how he always knows the best ways to bring you back down from your anxiety cloud (as you’d come up with calling it one time, hoping to ease the tension that was once lingering between you both), constantly feeling grateful for every little thing he does for you - no matter how big or small. Because each and every one of them mean something; they all eventually add up and create a much larger picture.

Already, you’re starting to feel much better in yourself, coming down from the cloud and standing back on the ground again, gravity to its work the way it should. And, whilst you’re not going to be perfect straight away - if ever again - you know you can begin to come to terms with the fact that you’re always going to feel this alway, that it’s going to be a constant, that your feelings aren’t just going to disappear with the click of your fingers. It doesn’t work like that.

Your worries are understandable after the trauma period you’ve been through, especially at such a young age, and all you can do is hope that the Great Mother’s plans for you and your future family are ones full of both longevity and adoration. After all, she’d already given Neteyam to you in a time you needed someone the most (albeit, it did take you a little while to fully realise such a thing) - surely she wouldn’t stop the two of you from showing off your love in the most domestic way possible.

“Muntxate (wife),” he starts, bringing your full attention back on him as his hands start to circle around you waist comfortably, finding their home there like they always do. His eyes are soft and sympathetic when he carries on speaking. “I will never truly understand what you’re feeling - I know that. But, what I do know is that no matter what you are going through on any particular day, I will always be there for you. All you have to do is ask, and I will drop everything and come straight to you.”

A small smile start to curve the ends of your lips in gratefulness, repeating his words on a never ending loop within the confines of your mind. More tears are beginning to sweep against your eyeline - but, this time, they’re happy ones, they’re ones you glad to be expressing. “I know,” you respond, barely above a whisper as all the lives around you seem much louder.

Seeing as the smile on your face becomes a little wider, understanding that his words were slowly beginning to get through to you, Neteyam nuzzles your faces closer together, your noses rubbing against one another lovingly. He takes in your scent the way he loves, inhaling deeply, but never forcing his gaze away from yours, needing you to entertain the seriousness behind him pupils. “You’re not alone in anything, sevin (pretty), I promise you…” he pauses, watching your eyes flutter close as you bask in his warm presence, taking a few seconds to contemplate his next words, before speaking again. “You don’t need to worry about never being there for our children, either,” he starts, your eyes opening up once again when he brings up the elephant in the room, flickering between each of his own his contemplation, “because I promise you - I swear to the Great Mother herself - that I will always protect you: against something as little as a yerik (hexapede), or as big as an ‘angtsik (hammerhead titanothere).” His words cause a small giggle to escape from your lips before you fully realise it’s fallen. Just imagining Neteyam battling a yerik (hexapede) has you amused, feeling better than you had before. He lowers his head to your own, wanting the eye contact to stay, finding importance in it when he spoke. “You will be there for our kids for everything, and you will be an amazing mother…”he insists, fingers gently rubbing smoothly against both sides of your waist, sending chills up your spine, warm from the compliment. The thought of his words alone has you feeling all giddy. “…To all 5 of our kids…”

“5 kids?” you question immediately, exclaiming out your surprise at his admission, widened eyes and joking smile. This particular conversation that it’s changed to causes your tail to swish from left to right, showing off its excitement, despite your juxtaposing words. “I knew you wanted a few, ‘teyam, but even that’s a lot.”

“No, no,” Neteyam insists, shaking his head and laughing along with you. “You see,” he teases, fingers dancing along your waist as he begins to smile mischievously, “because I will never get enough of you, so, we’re bound to have a lot.” He leaves a little shrug at the end of his sentence, acting all nonchalant, like what he’d just admitted didn’t hold a lot of weight to his words.

You can already feel the blush patching along your cheeks, painting your skin a darker colour, forcing your head to hang low subconsciously. However, y oh don’t get to stay like that for too long, because his once-dancing fingers suddenly start tickling against your sides, moving in an annoyingly rapid succession, which causes shrieks of laughter and pleads for him to stop to shoot through the air.

More of Neteyam’s laughter joins in with your own, the loving sounds shared between the two of you emanating through the forest around you, mixing together as one. Such a sound was like music to his ears, glad to have been able to make you happy again. He doesn’t care how many times he admits it, because he’s not ashamed of it - he’d do anything, and give anything, to hear such an ethereal sound for the rest of his life.

And, even though it was always going to be obvious that the two of you would find yourselves in these situations for more times to come - because your worries and your anxieties were never going to just disappear - Neteyam would always make sure that he was right by your side, that he was there to ease you and bring you back to where you truly belonged… with him.

taglist ;

@monahiiii @bakugouswaif @andraga12 @draiochtwrites @teyums @neteyamslovrr @tinkerbelle05 @netesanrr @lanasblood @camilo-uwu @queen190 @adrianarose7 @ttkttt @ayoungforeveruniverse-blog@lucialobelia @littlepisceanpixie @gyuventure @afro-hispwriter @thexplosivegirl @bellstwd @tahni-04 @eclipseatsea @6422btw @badbussylol @ellabellabus07

[ihopesocomic]

Poor baby Hope :( I mean it's possible that there's a way for her to get out of this (she's main protagonist after all) but still seeing her in so much pain and misery makes me so terribly sad. I want to create my OC just to appear in your comic and kick Jasper and Edge's asses. But Hope is such a stubborn girl, she still tries to fight. You made a great character and story.

And well now we see kids' reaction. As a matter of fact, they were brought up in an environment full of plotting, dominance and aggression. And some people (or lions like their parents) probably think that their kids are quite desensitised to this. Well, seems like it's not true.

Bright, despite being rather eager to fight and inflict pain, is petrified, Fade refuses to look as it brings to much horror (also I remember him making eye contact with Hope looking unsure? kinda im sorry way? and then breaking it, but there was a connection enmcen if for a second), and Radiant, who is rather indifferent most of the time, has this stare that I can't really describe but I fully understand. It's sort of like trying to detach yourself from the situation but you just can't, like you can't find any explanation for why it is happening.

And all for good reason. Edge is torturing a young lioness, who is very close to Bright's age. It isn't Edge doing business with Jasper, adult lion, it's their peer. And it isn't a quick death either, he's prolonging it. I don't know if the Light Siblings have ever seen their dad like that. I mean he definitely killed lions before and they definitely saw the way he runs his business. Now I wonder if they've personally seen him killing other lions cause I remember him telling his kids to go away while he was talking business with Jasper, but maybe it was this once it happened like that. Bright and Fade's reactions tell me that this isn't something they see often, but idk

Yee thank you so much, anon. Nothing really to add to this analysis but I love reading y'all's reactions to the Light Siblings and how they're reacting to all of this.

We originally planned for them to be older and a lot more ruthless but we realised it didn't line up with some things that we wanted to do with them so we made them younger and a bit wet behind the ears. They're no stranger to murder and death, obviously but they've always been raised to respect their enemies and there's not a whole lot of that going on here at all.

It's also a different story when a jerk like Jasper is getting his due because he willfully stood by and allowed his daughter to be murdered but somebody like Hopeful who is trying to defend her sister? Yeah, this isn't fun and jokes anymore. oof

But thank you all for super thoughtful anons like this one. We love to see it. <33 - RJ

[tcfactory]

a fun idea on the "im gay and pissed about it" is the concept of "what do you mean i share tastes with shang shidi". qinghua mentions offhandedly that the sect is full of very handsome men who are strong and muscular and have the AUDACITY to wear respectable layers of clothing in heat and filth when he could be looking at their chests. sj nods along absentmindedly then hEY WAIT. WHAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT. AND WHY DOES HE AGREE WITH YOU-

I'm snickering, because he would be mega upset that he's in agreement with Shang-shidi. At least he can blame the gay thoughts on Shang Qinghua, thirsty shidi is infecting everyone with residual horny.

Also, the fact that Shang Qinghua's (future) husband does walk around with his chest bared to the world a lot of the time makes this so much worse. Number 1 reason to turn CQMS into a demonic sect: shameless demon fashion.

...you know, that would make for a good comedy oneshot I think. SQH convinces the Sect to convert to a 'demonic' path to avoid all the plot and get rid of the stress of having to hide MBJ all the damn time. YQY agrees because this way nobody can hold SQQ's background under Wu Yanzi against him, LQG doesn't care as long as he can go hunt monsters, MQF is fine with this as long as they can maintain their reputation as 'decent people' (bc mortals care more about that than jianghu politics), WQW gets a shitton of new customers from the demon realm... the only one who would be strongly against it is QQQ, depending on how the mortal emperors would view a 'demonic' sect.

He convinces SQQ by gesturing at MBJ and his chest-out fashion like "this could be YQY and LGQ if we converted" and that holds more appeal than SQQ would ever admit. (QiJiu reconciliation fueled by too many horny thoughts? And then YQY 'bullies' SQQ into wearing the new uniforms and oh, there goes LQG. SQQ has two hands and with one he has to keep holding onto stupid sexy Liu-shidi so he stops walking into walls.)

And what better way to convert the sect than get TLJ out from under the mountain and pledge their allegiance to him? If SQH pulls this madness off in time they might even have a chance to save SXY! (Which would placate QQQ, especially after the Old Palace Master's garbage comes to light - she will be one of the main advocates of throwing the man in a pit of fire ants and watching him die a slow, well-deserved death.)

So OPM's manipulation is all out in the open and HHP is going under and I guess that's just barely enough to put them as "not a righteous sect and not an evil sect, but a secret third thing (weird)" which sure is a reputation to have, but not a bad one as such. Anyway, TLJ is the emperor of a whole realm and he's bankrolling them, so it's not like they need to play nice with the rest of the jianghu if they don't want to.

That sure would be a fun scenario for Shen Yuan to transmigrate into, huh? Lands as a nameless OC disciple (17 and very sassy) who's joining CQMS after his native sect was destroyed by some random catastrophe and he's making up all these elaborate plans in his head on how to help LBH out in the sect, only to find out that LBH (also 17 and very spoiled) is head disciple of Bai Zhan, getting kinda-but-not-really preferential treatment because he's the son of the sect benefactor. Also for funsies please imagine a Moshang spawn there too, because SQH developed an unfortunate habit of falling into every wifeplot ever (it's the System's revenge).

Trouble trios Ning Yingying+Sha Hualing+Liu Mingyan vs Shen Yuan+Bingmei+Moshang sprog unintentionally trying to outdo each other on who can cause their respective Shizuns the bigger headache. Shen Yuan isn't certain why he ended up in such a wacky AU fanfic setting, but Binghe is happy and handsome and keeps hitting on him cooking him snacks to make him feel welcome after what happened to his old sect, so he's enjoying his time too much to complain (much).

[snailfen]

not that anon but who's your favorite sluggy

so i never played the original MSC, but originally my favorite was the saint. i loved the idea of being able to just Leave situations and have a grappling tongue at all times as a newbie. i really struggled with platforming and survival back then, so i really liked them. fuck losing all karma upon dying, i could just Leave!

out of the vanilla scugs, monk was also my favorite back then. i REALLY hated the lore removal, but my gaming skills were already just Piss Poor in general so rain world was almost nigh impossible at first. also i liked being friends with lizards and scavs and i couldnt bring myself to attack scavs back then.

so, between then and now, my favorites have changed. between the MSC slugcats...

this is one of those few times i can answer from Every Possible Aspect of the candidate, like gameplay, campaign plot, etc. Which is really cool! when MSC dropped, Riv was the one  I played first using the "unlock all campaigns" cheat. I REALLY wanted to play saint first, but knowing from the start that the slugcats were ranked by difficulty and saint was locked behind 2 slugcats as opposed to 1, I curbed that urge and went for Riv since they were my second favorite.

now, their super exaggerated movement was hard to get a handle on, i will admit- but i hadn't played this game in a long time so i was just rusty on top of that. but i can confidently say im used to them! i love using their abilities to see just what i can do. there was a time i was playing with a randomizer and it was really fun having to adapt to each new situation like an opportunist. i wish i recorded it! but riv really helped me get over my hesitance when i was faced with predators, which was a bad habit I'd had for a long time.

campaign gameplay tested my lay of the land as well; especially by starting out in drainage system. i practically never set foot in drainage system back in the day, so i didnt know where in the world to head. I luckily detected the garbage wastes gate like, right away. trying to navigate the parts of the game more beaten off the main path of vanilla was difficult but fun! having only so much time to get from place to place was a fun challenge. then, after getting the rarefraction cell, trying to see how far i could go in 1 cycle was even greater.

now the plot is really where riv got me for sure.

looks to the moon has been a favorite character of mine for years. i never really stopped thinking about what happened between her and pebbles; every few months or so i would think about it. just how... hopeless things were for moon. It really made me sad. i think i speak for a lot of people when i say i wished that i could help her in some way. but the only thing i could do is bring her neurons, really. i never really made sense of pebbles side of the deal, like i knew what was going on with him and i felt bad, but it never really hit me how horrible things were for him. it all just felt so... tragic, yknow? that things ended up the way they did for the two of them.

exploring their superstructures was an experience. i originally planned to go to pebbles through shaded citadel after visiting moon on my first playthrough, but plans changed when i considered dealing with memory crypts, and the leg, AND underhang with my cycle limit (i had already sort of guessed that riv was after monks point in the timeline, but i didn't know that those areas got worse for riv so i was just thinking in terms of vanilla) so i went through the wall.

I kinda wish I saw at least memory crypts, but thats ok because the low gravity in the normally zero-gravity access shaft, plus the proto dll at the end, told me everything I needed to know before facing Pebbles chamber. Floating through his decayed structures... it hurt. I remember my first encounter with him in vanilla felt just a word away from being downright incomprehensible. he really came off as some god I couldn't percieve. but now, seeing the walls corroded by nothing but Rot, only small parts I actually recognized just barely peeking out amongst the decay, I just couldn't look. I felt like... like my arteries were clogged just by seeing his condition. Hearing him listen to Halcyon Memories, a favorite (previously) unused track of mine created a special kind of somber that I will Never re-experience.

Then, Moon's structure. This one is special. I got suuuper lost in here, but im glad I did. Up until a certain point, I had been taking the scenery in with a kind of reverence you would have while walking around a graveyard. I wandered for a few cycles, and at some point, Random Fate started playing. I didn't recognize the bass line yet, but when I had stumbled into what I immediately recognized as Moon's Memory Conflux, the Sundown melody kicked in.

Recognizing both things at once, I got all... like, choked up. Like... I'm finally helping Moon!  But... what about Pebbles? Why can't I help him? ...And like, I knew why; he brought this fate upon them both. But that didn't make it hurt any less. He asked me to do the only thing he wanted: to give all he had to redeem what he did. So in the end, this was all I could do to help him; in the same way that this was all Pebbles could do to make up for what he did to Moon.

Don't get me started on the ending. Seeing Moon restored to even a fraction of what once was had me so happy! It was exhilarating to say the least. But I was tearing up on the edge of my seat when she reached out to Pebbles. Watching the messages roll in slowly, seeing what she had to say, all the while praying that Pebbles could hear her.

Seeing Moon call herself Pebbles big sister is what broke the dam. From what I saw back in the day, people usually skirted that title of hers when it came to Pebbles, or never really acknowledged it. Even I did, for some time. But it never made sense to do that! Moon and Pebbles would never feel such anger, betrayal, or regret over everything that had happened if they weren't very close. I found it very important that that's who Moon was to him. Not just a great friend, but a big sister. I'm so glad the MSCteam felt that was important as well.

Speaking of which, seeing the names of community members and fans that I recognized in the credits got me sobbing again when I thought I was done. This expansion was a loveletter to the game from the fans, brought in officially by the actual developers. The Rivulet campaign especially enforced that feeling of love for the game- by having compassion for the tragedy two iterators and finally helping them reconcile.

I finally felt satisfied, not only because I was able to help Moon- but because I had also realized the tragic life that Pebbles had led. Those two things had never really left my mind.

anyways WOOOOO that was a lot of rambling. hope you enjoyed......

[romanticatheartt]

i love all your opinions and agree w them wholeheartedly so i wanted to share my first thoughts of when i read acosf which is that i genuinely believe sjm planned acotar only as a trilogy (as in, never intending to write further books beyond it).

i mean it is a trilogy and it ties up nicely at the end of acowar- but i think the trilogy did so well and people enjoyed the characters so much & asked for more that she was like okay.... i'll keep going! but did not have any semblance of a plan!!! (at least, not when she was writing acotar/acomaf) hence the clunkiness of silver flames!!

sjm had put so much dirt on elain and nesta in the first book (if you read only acotar, you would be pretty appalled to find the 5th book is nesta's pov imo) that continued into the second and third, that she had some serious backtracking to do, even with the respective characters arcs of both sisters going into the cauldron.

but in trying to set up her new protagonist into the classic YA female main character role (and this is why i think so many people found silver flames a bit meh comparatively), sjm almost undoes feyre's character building from the beginning of acotar.

suddenly there's a mother in the picture who is conveniently never before mentioned that of course has a huge affect on shaping the sisters, with nesta in particular - and sweet feyre was none the wiser, being the father's favourite!

even if you are compelled to believe that their mother managed to treat nesta so terribly that she somehow held a grudge in future (but only against feyre? and not elain?) it's still... an awful way to act. like, not the thing i think you're supposed to read and then root for?

i truly think in order to make feyre more pitiable in the first book, she went the cinderella angle and almost made her sisters like wicked step-sisters and then realised later that she had to make nesta either a) admit she was a shit person at the time or b) magically create some trauma that meant nesta didn't feel she had to apologise for acting that way (which is just so stupid in itself, as though sjm thinks if nesta had ever apologised it would take away from her 'tough as nails' persona)

ok this is so long im so sorry..... i have so many opinions about silver flames in particular

I think even sjm said it herself that while writing acomaf she decided to expand the series and give other characters an story as well. I'm not sure when she said it but I think it was on Facebook.

And to be honest with you, sjm talking about Nesta's past and her parents didn't feel like she was changing Feyre's plot to me. Feyre also talked about their father and there's this scene when she visited Velaris for the first time and she says the scent of spices reminded of her of her father's business. And in acotar when she comes back to to human land right before going to UtM, she says that their father is in his room checking their accounts and is like old times like nothing has changed. I think these all point to the fact that she remembers how their father was, specially to her, is just that after everything that happened she doesn't see fit to talk about her father as someone who was his favorite. And in acotar she says Elain is the one who's really close to him and he likes to keep her company, so in her eyes Elain was their father favorite child. And their mother was the one who made her promise to protect their family. But as much as Feyre's mother was neglective toward Feyre, she focused more on Nesta and a little bit Elain. Nesta's trauma is from their mother's attention and Feyre's for lack of it.

Feyre's pov is first person so whatever she thinks is whatever she knows and feels. So it was easier for sjm to write a back story that Feyre might not remember duo to being young. And like everyone else love to say, Feyre is not a reliable narrator and they're right to an extend. Yes she might not know everything but her feelings are valid. If she feels in a certain way toward her sisters then it's because her sisters were awful to her, no amount of back story and different perspective will ever change that. So blaming her, for narrating Nesta (and Elain) for what happened to her at the cabin as the "bad" sisters in her story, is nonesense lol

And even both Nesta and Elain admit they were horrible to Feyre. Nesta was suicidal for it ffs. She constantly says she failed Feyre and when she confesses to Cassian, he asks her if she told her sister how she feels and she tells him she doesn't know how to. Which in my opinion this was a mistake on sjm part for not making Nesta verbally apologising to Feyre because words can be powerful and Nesta knows it, because she wielded them like a weapon to constantly hurt Feyre. It would made the readers more satisfied. But like you said sjm kinda wrote her like she has nothing to apologies for. And created the worst pregnancy plot just for Nesta to save her little sister as a redemption arc...

But I think we should give credit where it's due. Nesta saying her very first "I love you" to someone and that person being Feyre was beautiful. Yes it might not be enough specially after everything that happened in acosf but it was really powerful and I cried for that scene.

Anyways we can talk about acosf on how sjm could've made it way better and more impactful forever. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure sjm didn't intend to make Feyre's trauma less important and tbh I didn't feel that way, it's the fandom who undermining it and I hate it :')

Also you can always come here and talk about your opinion. I'm glad you feel safe enough to do so<33

[reilleclan-blog]

Yes I'm still here and while I'm here I decided to get rdr2 b/c I wanted to rp as a cowboy so fucking bad. Um honestly I don't hate rockstar games recent gta story wise and online play is ass to me movement and thr story felt so trivial to me(this js my opinion after years of thinjing rockstar and gta are relativrly good) but yeah. the only rockstar game i faithfully love is Bully.

(SPOILERS)

and as i play rdr2 i feel like the story is basically like Bully except the entire plot of rdr2 is Jimmy(arthur) and Gary(Micah) going at it the entire game but also using a bit of mislead.

(and yes after arthur got captured by odriscolls i immideitely sused out Micah as being a snake. also i didnt believe a word of a "truce")

And yes i did look up the truth to confirm my suspicions b/c i don't believe in spoilers kinda. But yeah im gonna say a couple things about this game I genuinely think it's a cool and interesting game. I personally can't fathom how ppl thought Dutch was so "wise" and "complex" he basically was some dude that monologued EVERYtime he was on screen. Like I swear to god this dude was just a "head up his own ass" type of guy and it solidifies even more around the ends of the game. (In the beginning I thought he was sort of a good guy but once they sat up camp out of the cold .. I was like this guy is annoying ass shit and I absolutely hated taking orders from him as Arthur lol)

Dutch was basically a dude that thought he knew more than everyone cause he read a couple books and quoted shit all the time. My nigga , u are ultimately a fucking poser. U no better than anyone in the camp ANYONE could've done what he did he just got in the position before anyone else. I swear to god I'd skip so many cutscenes b/c all he did was talk and talk "blowing hot air" and as the game went on he continued to do dumber and dumber shit and everyone just went along with it. I genuinely think it's hilarious a separate job everyone does(robbing the bank) was the most fun mission with main side characters I'd probably had thru the entire game. And all that was pretty much thrown out the game b/c Dutch's plans made everyone have to leave again.

(Him saying "play both sides of the war" was the dumbest shit ever. But ofc everyone still listened to him. Hosea was having a mind of his own but STILL choice to do what he said.) Dutch wanted to play chess so bad but really he was playing checkers ever since they left Strawberry possibly Blackwater as well.

Also I wasn't sure how I'd like the game mostly the main character but Arthur actually has a personality and can be complex more than a lot of the characters ppl call "complex" . I honestly think rockstar could've gone farther with making the story so compelling maybe the main character could've been a woman who is living in the west u know and finds these band of misfits and it could show the struggles of crime and being a woman advantages and disadvantages. Something like that.

I don't think the characters aren't interesting not saying that lol I just think in the end this story didn't want to push further with complex understanding or characters. It's like yes it's a story but it's not here to make u think too much on what's going on. (That's how I felt) since most of the audience I'm assuming were biased players and SURPRISE straight white men.(even though funny enough cowboys were originally black and brown) so I think rockstar made a story just interesting ENOUGH to keep that certain demographics attention. I assume with ppl that assess games and the way the game plays out at times. For example a lot of the times during missions u could do something stealthy but still end up having a trivial ass shootout to "keep the excitement" of the game. A lot of the times that happens and it just annoys me b/c it'd virtually makes stealth pointless unless otherwise.

I'm still trying to finish up the game but rockstar has a tendency to make these games over long for no fucking reason . It reminds me of movies that are like 2hrs long just to have the entire movie be "racism is bad"(Cloud Atlas) or some dumb simple shit like that. So I'm still tryna see what the story this game is tryna tell me or show me but damn it's just taking forever for no fuckin reason TO ME. 💀 also feels like there's so much shit happening in the game that I can't grasp the story at times like there's no rest? Doesn't mean when characters died I didn't care but still

I was even baffled that the crew really went overboard and landed on some tropical island. Sometimes the events in the game seem unnecessary as well. Again adding to the fact the game is over long for no reason. Anyways um cya till next time.

[quietbluejay]

Notes for the crack Loyalist!Lucius AU

Once again just copied with minimal editing from discord. Does it make sense? eh. Is it in character? probably not. Is it silly? yes. Was it fun to play around with? Absolutely.

I'm still thinking about the loyalist!lucius au where eidolon turns him down because it's so much in eidolon's character to do that also after finding out loken somehow survived isstvan iii that means that other people could also have survived, in theory

malcador: im recruiting you to be part of a secret elite unit lucius: i like "elite" malcador: you will get no glory and no recognition lucius: ahkay im out

malcador keeps sending him on extremely flashy suicide missions and lucius keeps surviving the way malcador gets him to agree to the missions is that they're high risk high reward and because they're high visibility impossible missions his name is out there iirc in the original version of this he became Slaanesh's champion anyways, just fighting on the opposite side lucius to various imperials: im going to teach you all about the power of rock like hm realistically tho malcador would try to kill him like not just via suicide mission but more immediately if he went chaos even crackier idea where malcador kills lucius, succeeds and now lucius is malcador

now, this would be an absolute disaster on every possible level especially given this lucius is slaanesh's champion BUT it would be extremely funny but back to the main au idea thinking further on "why malcador wouldn't just kill lucius" he and loken became besties after surviving for months (years???) alone together on isstvan iii

even more crackily he ends up getting an anti-chaos blade i dunno i feel like such a thing SHOULD exist ...eldar weapon this is the man who used a giant alien murder spider leg (very sharp) as a sword when he got trapped on murder spider planet (and got yelled at for it, because it was alien) also a lot of the good magical artefacts/swords have morality requirements and lucius is nnnnnnot going to pass those the most "realistic" way he gets the sword is by killing a craftworld but, tbh, i do not wish to reward this behaviour

…he should derail the plot of Angel Exterminatus from what I understand it involved eldar things and Fulgrim using a whole bunch of eldar soulstones (and also part of Perturabo's soul) to turn himself into a daemon (maybe i should not actually make these plans without reading the book. oh well.)

malcador: your primarch and also perturabo are trying to do something suspicious are you a bad enough dude to stop them? lucius: absolutely malcador: i have every faith that you will succeed after lucius leaves malcador: there's a 99% chance he'll die. FINALLY. maybe lucius gets the soulstones and accidentally trades them to the eldar for the sword like he survives but he's too injured to actually do anything here which is how he gets thanked and they say, lucius' hearts grew three sizes that day

he also wasn't really attached to the sword and then malcador told him not to get rid of it "you're not my real dad!" he said, clutching the sword "no," muttered malcador, "your real dad is trying to turn into a sexy snake" "i have many questions," said loken, who was currently being ignored in the corner.

so in canon loken kind of snapped due to being alone on isstvan iii surrounded only by the bodies of his former comrades is….is lucius somehow his emotional crutch i mean having one person to talk to is loads better than being alone even if that person is someone who hates you and you don't particularly care for either would lucius be the type of person who would like someone being emotionally dependent on him (especially given the beef) or would he be "ew clingy"

lol okay this is a more serious part of the au, i think lucius would have a lot of time for uncomfortable introspection on isstvan iii maybe that's how some of his character development happens

oh no look it's one of my favourite character dynamics garviel loken and lucius, starring in: this is our get-along virus-bombed planet

[silvercrane14]

Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War - two students are in love with eachother but refuse to "lose" and admit their feelings. Instead, they have increasingly convoluted plans to get the other to confess.

Okay I will admit. this Is a romance and also ive only seen the anime. So actually this would fall more under anime recs bcs the english dub voice acting is AMAZING. Anyway tho its a comedy that I really enjoy. Its about romance but like. Idk I dont read/watch romance often so I cant say "its not like the standard romance plot". But its less about them Falling In Love and more about them Overthinking Everything And Being Silly. ALSO !! tho it takes a bit, it does go into the characters a lot. Very centred on the characters relationships !! Not just romantically between the main two, but in general.

Why I think you would like it: similar in "vibe" to nozaki-kun. Funny!! But it has its moments of seriousness and it understands its characters well.

Mushishi - Eye Have Not Read This im sorry 🙏 i havent even seen the anime so I dont actually know much about it but ive been recced it so many times I figure I should pass it to you.

If u like Natsume's Book of Friends you'll enjoy this. Genuinely I think this is my strongest rec for you on this list even tho I've never seen it. I really do think u wld enjoy 👍

Insomniacs After School - IM REALLY SORRY I HAVENT READ THIS ONE EITHER. I HAVE IT KN GOOD AUTHORITY U WOULD LIKE IT I JUST CANT GUVE ANY DETAILS. BCS IDK REALLY.

"Two young teens who can't sleep find companionship with each other. They must learn to overcome any challenges and figure out what's important to them."

Why I think you would like it: Ive heard its similar to Skip to Loafer in a way!!

Girls Last Tour - Two young girls explore a post-apocolyptic wasteland. They go through abandoned buildings and old towns in their journey, battling solitude eith only eachother

This one is a little sad. More likeeee. Meloncholy, yk? I dont have much to say about it. Very good manga.

Why I think you would like it: The character relationship between the two girls seems like something you would enjoy.

Look Back - to be super honest its been over a year since I read this I dont fully remember what happens. Theres this girl wjo draws comics for her elementary school newsletter. Shes funny so every1 really likes her and her comics. at some point another comic appears, but its actually just four panels of background art. Its so beautifully drawn that the other students begin to fawn over it. Angry kver her loss of attention, the first girl goes to meet the girl making these new comics (The background girl doesnt go to school, she works at home). Thr end up becoming friends and the story shows how their friendship develops and changes, growing closer and growing further apart.

The manga is p short for. a manga but its actually just a Really Long oneshot. Its rlly good. not much else to say.

Why I think you would like it: Very similar to Blue Period. About art and how it reflects people. Also very strongly driven by the relationship between the two girls.

The Girl From The Other Side - ive been typing so much i really cant give a whole review on this. Similar to WHA. kinda. beautiful art. read it u will enjoy it

Kaguya-sama I watched the first two seasons of! Maybe I should read the manga too, I did think it was fun

Mushishi I watched maybe the first episode of, but I should definitely try again,,, I don't remember anything about it lol

I've read Insomniacs After School!!! I'm definitely not caught up though, and I've been planning on watching the anime,,,

Girls Last Tour I,,, might have seen? At least part of it a long time ago. I'll have to rewatch/read the manga

Look Back sounds really interesting,,, I'll check that one out!!!

I'm actually reading The Girl from the Other Side in Portuguese rn lol I have volumes 1-5 on my shelf

[jayflrt]

HAI USER JAYFLRT it's been so long huhu ㅠㅠ was lowkey reading yfi786 silently during exam season ... BUT IM HERE NOW TEEHEE disclaimer : i have so many thoughts but idt it makes sense even in my head TT

the recent chapter was SO GOOD like plot aside, i can never emphasize enough how much i love the way you write. sometimes i revisit your fics that i've alr read and sit in front of my screen and try to understand ur pattern of writing ?? mostly bc i have a terrible habit of incorporating repetition everywhere in my works and that is something i usually don't notice in ur fics so :O js want u to know that ure rlly someone i forward to when it comes to writing ( and like, absolutely fucked up humour too bc ure so funny )

back to the smau, CHAEWON WHEN I CATCH U ... i thought she and yn were getting along, at least to some extent ?? but it made me so mad when she brought it up although i sort of understood where she was coming from idk like maybe bc she had/has some unsolved beef towards yn which mostly roots from heeseung ... but still crazy af to say that in front of everyone!!!! lowkey scared for jay i think everyone will jump him when they know him and yn almost fucked TT

and the hazing ritual had me shook i don't think i would've ever survived that if that happened to me lmfao, tho thanks to svt for being the comedic relief. STEALING THE GOAT PART WAS SO SKJDHKJHDF aaand i loved the heejay cuddle part too i know they're the main pairing and everyone else is js secondary

ANYWAYS im so so excited for the next chapters and the chapters after that too >< got me praying for jay bc i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel for him ... but im gna take ur word when u said u dont rlly like sad endings so jayn r going to end up together ( _ _; )

HI CAEL!! i was saving this ask for when i planned to answer all of the ones in my inbox and kept thinking of getting to it whenever i'd see you on twt 🤧 but here i am sorry for the late response!!! and i hope your exam season went well! manifesting you passing with flying colors 💗

i'm so glad you liked the chapter!! (i think this was for chapter 40 if i'm not mistaken 🥲) but omg please that's so sweet 🥹 but no pls i have that same problem myself, it must be a universal writing habit 🤧 but what i try to do is fix it as i go, like i'll write what comes to mind and tweak my sentences if i catch some repetition LOL idk if that helps but that's what usually works for me!!! and omg it makes me so happy to hear that you look forward to my writing 🥰

chaewon's always been sidelined when it came to mc (especially by heeseung) so she definitely did not have good intentions when she brought that up 😔 another reason for mc to be Very careful about the people she surrounds herself by

i physically cannot add jeonghan in a story without making him a little silly goofy <33 svt are such pookies i had the most fun writing that exchange between hannie and hao LMFAO and omg so true this is actually just a heejay fic and jay/n is just a side pairing sorry guys :/

DONT YOU WORRY i have spent countless hours agonizing over how to flesh out this ending in the best possible way and i am 97% sure i have covered all the bases to get us there (the 3% will be accounted for after i finish the act 2 finale trust 🙂‍↕️) but although i haven't posted a chapter in a hot minute i've been racking my brain to tie all the loose ends together and i think i've done it!! so i'm hyped 😁 it will be a ride ,, i'll hold everyone's hand for the drops

[goldenfox3]

Im really having trouble working out the climax of TF and i want to wrangle it out here but if i mention it it will potentially spoil the lead up but also sometimes its not about not knowing whats gonna happen its the tension from knowing whats gonna happen but the charas dont so you just stare at their slowly impending doom like a train wreck so 🤹‍♂️

ANYWAY incomprehensible rambling/potential spoilers for TF for chapters 10 through 18:

The Death Anchor is a former ballistic missile with a detonator still intact unbeknownst to Zoda. I would like to use this somehow but idk how even though i already have plans to start foreshadowing its involvement soon (like c10 soon) lmao. Like the Arrows come back later and all but Zoda is...at this point not really a presence in the fic and I don't wanna bring him in just for the sake of it. Unless someone else is affiliated with Deathriddle and eventually finds reason to use the stolen missile as it was intended for.

Similar kind of thing with Don Genie where I vaguely thought of bringing him in for funding Blood/affiliation with BS Group/is he also associated with Deathriddle??? who knows but didn't wanna just drag him in as a cheap easy villain. Like. He is an arms dealer and the Death Anchor is a stolen missile but what reason would he have to detonate an asset unless like. It was no longer useful or actively harming him or to sacrifice it for something more useful to him??? Idk

At first I only had the idea of one BF plotline but it would be funny if like. Rob meets the Ab Initio BF first for accidental lunch outing and then gets kidnapped another time by a diff BF (Black...Falcon??? To signify he's closer to BS???) and when he notices he can even tell the diff between BFs now he's like god fucking damn it I am getting WAY too familiar with Falcon's face

Wondered if it was too cheap to do an eviler evil clone plot. Realized they set it up themselves by saying BF isn't the only Falcon clone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BF vs BF moment with Black trying to either bring in or terminate Blood on BS' orders and the I will be the true Falcon thing blah blah

The amount of power that Cap has to (reluctantly) call on will only increase as time goes on lmao. This has always been a man vs self fic or "man vs new untold power inside himself and the morality of such" fic but i also don't want to just fridge an eviler evil clone or even the main villain just like that as a lazy way of getting the hero to kill and angst. BS already got dealt with unsatisfactorily in GX story!

Blood isnt going to die i like him too much for that lmao. That being said that doesn't mean he's above targeting Rob (even if he likes him in his own weird way) to get CF to pay attention to him. I thought about an injured Rob still asking a really incensed CF not to kill Blood after yeeting Black (and BS himself if i go that route lmao) and CF freezing would be an interesting scene and BF getting pissed also and saying not to pity him he's TRYING to fight his RIVAL here it's his ONLY PURPOSE (even tho he knows deep down he doesnt have a snowballs chance in hell of winning after seeing CF level the fucking track)

This goes back to what i was saying about Rob with his weirdass fucking friendships lmao. I just think it would be an interesting character moment for all three of them. Rob asking for mercy for an enemy. Blood not knowing what the fuck to do when his purpose for so long won't even fight him. CF going what am i doing. What have i become. And so on.

[dolorum-magne]

*slides into DM's*

So I see you reblog a lot of Marble Hornet stuff

What's it about?

👀

OH BOY IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! :D

Marble hornets is a found footage horror arg and widely regarded the original slenderverse series (if you don’t know what that is either I’ll explain it later on in the post) And part of what brought slenderman into the public eye. If I remember correctly the first video in the series was released just a few weeks after the original photoshop contest the slenderman was created for, predates slender:the eight pages and is what started some things that it will stereotypically do, such as cameras going to static when looking at it.

It started on YouTube (and like most args was cross platform, I believe it part of it was also on Twitter) back on June 20th of 2009 and the original series spanned a full 5 years, ending on it’s anniversary in 2014.

I’ll avoid spoilers but I’ll give a summary of the the beginning of the series and some plot below

the series mainly follows the main protagonist Jay Merrick. In the introduction it’s explained that back in college his friend Alex had started a student film called “Marble hornets” but after a while of filming he started acting strange and eventually ended the project before completion. Jay had talked to Alex about the project and he gave Jay the tapes on the condition that this was the last time he mentions it, and when asked what he should do with the tapes, Alex told him to “burn them.”

The tapes remained in the back of Jays closet for a couple years and he ended up loosing contact with Alex during this time. He started the channel to try and compile the footage they had of the film to share what his friend had made on YouTube but shortly after he started he realised not all the tapes were of the film. At some point Alex had started filming himself and had become increasingly paranoid of something following him. A tall humanoid monster with no face that is later named “The Operator”.

He starts to worry about what happened to his old friend and wants to help, and thus begins his investigation. Jay starts becoming paranoid and begins recording himself in much the same way we see Alex do on the tapes as the same thing that had been following Alex around begins to follow him as well. throughout the series he finds more tapes, records footage of his own, which he combs through and posts as entries, and a few other characters (Namely Tim Wright the secondary protagonist, and Jessica Locke) are dragged into it along the way as the story progresses and things get continuously worse-from a strange sickness that seems to come from the monster tormenting them that makes them cough up blood, missing chunks of time, people going missing, ending up on the run from the thing in the woods as well as an old friend trying to kill them, and the appearance of some strange masked stalkers that in ways help the protagonists, and occasionally reach out with cryptic codes and ciphers in videos from another channel called ToTheArk.- and get more and more complicated.

I would explain more about the plot but I’m trying hard to avoid spoiling too much!

(the ToTheArk videos and marble hornets entries and responses to them were originally linked via YouTube’s old reply feature but obviously as that doesn’t exist anymore that’s no longer the case)

it’s honestly probably my most favourite thing of all time if you couldn’t tell

The series is technically still going, as there’s an ongoing sequel comic to the original series, set a few years after the events that happened in the main series and following one of the characters from it, Jessica! (If you’ve seen some of the stuff I’ve posted and reblogged, Skully also comes from the comic though he does appear once in the series in a ToTheArk video! During the series the concept they planned for them was scrapped so we only saw them once in the series, but it’s still cool)

Incase you need an explanation for what a slenderverse series is, it’s a genre of horror arg, mainly on YouTube, most being inspired by marble hornets and as the name suggests, follows characters who get involved with a slenderman type monster. Like marble hornets, they’re often called by different names (I don’t actually know of one that actually calls it slenderman but there might be, idk) but are essentially the same or very similar entities. Some even have crossovers with eachother as well! Some of the more popular ones (though never getting has popular as the original) are EverymanHYBRID, TribeTwelve(I don’t recommend tribetwelve. The story was good but the creator is an awful human being), DarkHarvest00, MlAndersen0 and WhisperedFaith.

If you have any other questions (or if anyone else sees this and I’ve gotten something wrong) please let me know and I’ll try to answer them as best I can!

thank you so much for asking, had a lot of fun with that info dump :)

[sneakyscarab]

touhou 19 time! this game was literally not even released when i started this, so this is really fresh! this post is probably the closest i will ever be to a real games journalist lol.

nina's thoughts on Touhou 19 - Unfinished Dream of All Living Ghost

the most recent touhou, coming out just a few weeks ago, so this review is hot off the presses! UDoALG (wild abbreviation by the way, this name is so long) is a pretty neat game, being a direct sequel to Wily Beast and Weakest Creature story-wise, and a sequel to Phantasmagoria of Flower View gameplay-wise.

UDoALG is another in the competitive-danmaku type gameplay, similar to PoFV but with a number of evolutions to make the gameplay more balanced and easier to control. i won't go over every little change, since theres quite a lot, but ill point out some interesting changes, mostly in relation to story mode. for starters, Ability Cards are back again from UM, although with a much smaller role. each character has 2 cards themed to them, and whenever you beat an opponent in story mode you're randomly given one of their two cards. the three animal spirits are added, but they work completely differently to WBaWC, now being stronger variants of the generic spirit enemies from PoFV. a change that i think is only in story mode is that a new win condition is added, where if you defeat your opponent's boss summon an amount of times then your opponent loses. this is also pretty much the only wincon in story mode, since the AI has insane dodging skills. i literally only saw them lose a life one (1) time across 19 characters' stories (if you're curious, it was in Chiyari's stage 1).

one really interesting aspect of this game is the storytelling. i usually don't bring up the story in these posts outside of how certain characters relate to it, the story usually is a fairly simple affair that just gives the characters a reason to fight, but UDoALG has a much more complex story, which im kinda mixed on. i'll start with the cool part: the story actually progresses as you play through and unlock various characters in story mode, every set of character unlocks represents a later time period of the story, so you don't get the full story and resolution until you play through it all. this is a super cool idea, and gives good incentive to keep playing different routes and see how it all plays out. its a cool idea that uniquely plays off of the large character roster and unlocking method of these competitive vs games.

unfortunately, in order to make this happen and make every character be relevant, the plot is needlessly convuluted, especially in the first couple campaigns. there are so many factions at play, all with their own motives and double-agents and subterfuge. by the end of the 19 story scenarios you will be absolutely sick of the phrase "this is exactly as i had planned", and yet i still dont fully understand What the "main villain"s plan was. i commend ZUN for trying something new with the narrative, both in doing a direct sequel with most of the same characters as a former game, as well as this way of unfolding the story over time through different character routes, but i can't say it was Good. maybe im just biased since it mostly revolves around the WBaWC cast, and that game already had pretty rough plot and characterization, but i dunno. i will say i liked the story more at the end than i did after doing the first couple routes, but some of that early confusion never really goes away, and characters like Ran and Tsukasa dont really get their stories resolved.

time to talk about the characters! UDoALG is furry city, pretty much every character besides the human incident resolvers is some kind of animal-person, plus a few Onis. for returning characters we have Reimu, Marisa, Sanae, Ran (from PCB), Aunn (HSiFS), Nazrin (UFO), Seiran (LoLK), Rin (SA), Tsukasa (UM), Mamizou (TD), Yachie (WBaWC), Saki (WBaWC), Yuuma (the 3rd Animal Realm leader, coming from a fighting game i think?), and Suika (also a fighting game, and SA). for the new characters, we have 3 new youkai who have each joined one of the animal realm families respectively, plus the 'main villain' Zanmu and her assistant Hisami. since theres only 5 new guys, ill just give them each a quick review.

Son Biten is a monkey youkai, based on Son Wukong, recruited to Yachie's Kiketsu family. she's pretty goofy, and has a really neat musical theme. i dont have much to say about her, besides that she has a cool inspiration, and some of her interactions are pretty funny.

Enoko is a dog-type youkai, loosely based on the idea of Cerberus, who was recruited to Saki's Keiga family. instead of literally having 3 heads, she has bear traps on her wrists that act as analogues to the jaws of two additional heads, which is a really neat interpretation of a cerberus concept, as well as having tons of comedic potential. i love all the jokes people make about her offering up a Totally Normal Handshake, dont worry about it. she apparently lived in the Forest of Magic as a dog before awakening as a youkai, so she joins the crew of Marisa's funny forest friends.

the third new Youkai is Chiyari, who is NOT a chupacabra, despite what everyone says. she's based on a Tenkajin, which is apparently an obscure youkai that sucks blood, obscure enough that i could only find a single source for it online, being a Japanese blog post written by who i assume is a youkai enthusiast. Anyways, nobody in Gensokyo knows what a tenkajin is either, so everyone calls her a chupacabra instead since its another bloodsucking creature who is 'pretty popular right now'. most of her interactions are her being annoyed by being called a chupacabra, and eventually coming to terms with it. poor tenkajin gets no respect. shes very funny, and also apparently completely broken in pvp. great character.

Hisami is a 'guide of Hell', who is also inexplicably based on grapes for some reason (or eggplants, depending on who you ask, but im in grapes camp.) she pretty much just finds people in hell and helps them find their destination, although 'their destination' is up to Hisami's interpretation, and multiple times in the story she leads characters somewhere else. apparently she does her job wrong because she wants Zanmu to notice her, and it doesn't work cause apparently that was part of Zanmu's plan all along, so she doesn't care. Zanmu is too busy playing 4d chess to give her suboordinate some attention, so sad.

speaking of, Zanmu is an Oni, and the 'main villain' of the game. i say that with quotes because, despite being the final boss in most routes, and being the chessmaster supposedly laying out the big plans and manipulating everyone, she also is simultaneously resolving the incident, kinda?? its a bit hard to understand her motivations. well i guess her motivations make sense, but its hard to understand how exactly she plans to get what she wants from this plan. like her plan involves getting beat up by Reimu multiple times? hello?? not a fan, and she doesn't even have a cool design inspiration to make up for it, shes just another oni.

alright, lets wrap this one up. i was surprised to see another VS type game come out, and it seems to deliver a lot more balanced and interesting combat than the first one (granted, story mode plays pretty differently from what i can tell). the story is weird though, and the roster doesn't really have many characters i'm excited to play as compared to PoFV, and the characters i do like are pretty bad. (Sanae in particular is really weak in this format, her homing snakes are a huge disadvantage against bosses since they turn as soon as they see an enemy, meaning they wont hit the boss unless every random spirit or fairy is dead first). complaints aside though, at the base level its still pretty fun, and im glad that this type of gameplay is being given another chance.

i said it in my PoFV review, and ill say it again here: if any of you reading this have UDoALG, and are interested in playing the PvP with me, hit me up! itd be fun to try playing this with another person (although i heard the online is rough so i dunno…)

thank you so much for reading, especially those of you that have stuck with me through each post! this is the end of the mainline series, but there's still a lot out there i havent done. im not sure where this will go from here, especially since my college semester just started so i'll have a lot less free time, but ive had a lot of fun working on this project, and i hope that youve had fun reading it! if i do keep going, i might do the PC-98 quintilogy next, or maybe talk about cool fangames like Luna Nights or Mystia's Izakaya, i dunno. whatever comes next though, i hope to see you again! consider this the end of 'volume 1' of my grimoire. farewell!

[iwasborn4this]

tmnt idw comics (rant) (spoiler warning for this whole post)

for the record i am a new tmnt fan. rise was the first version i saw literally just last year. i started the 2012 show (i stopped on season 2 for no particular reason but plan on continuing it soon) and then recently picked up the idw comics after seeing a lot of people say it was the best iteration of the turtles. and what do you know i fucking loved it. i started the main series about a week ago and now i’m on issue 127. i should’ve been doing college work, but it was so good i couldn’t stop reading. i became obsessed.

however all good things must come to an end because it got kinda ?? bad ?? after issue 105. absolutely loved issues 1 through 105. the down time after issue 100 was definitely needed, and i totally appreciated the turtles getting time to grieve and break down and pick themselves back up during 101-105. but then the whole mutant town arc Really started and it felt like the tone of the whole comic shifted very drastically ??? i usually love when side characters get some attention for a bit but now it kinda feels like they’re getting too much attention. specially the kids, i don’t find the weasels very likable and i think lita should get just a bit less attention. specially did not like the decision to have big lita come from the future and Say Plot Points At Them (im also completely ignoring her comment about leo and koya of all people. what ??? who made this decision). and it’s been getting gradually worse from there. i’m currently on issue 127 like i said and it just feels like the comic has some downtime and then it never picked back up. commander zom literally died on issue 126 and i didn’t feel any type of way about it except “well that was underwhelming”. shredder astral projecting to whisper in people’s ears is kinda weird. what even happened !!! how did the quality of the story-telling change so drastically !!! i wish i was better at identifying what specifically i dislike, and better at articulating it and explaining myself but yeah.

about specific characters:

- what’s up with casey. he kinda sucks now. started sucking after the breakup i feel like. i don’t need april and casey to get back together or anything but i feel like his character started getting meh after that and now we never see him and when we do he’s…. uhhh

- leo and raph’s independent emotional arcs make sense, i just wish there was more going on like there used to be before. love mikey starting a radio show, more of that please (this ties back in with me wanting more of the conflict with the outside of mutant town as well). and is it just me or is donnie not doing much of anything rn ??

- jennika: i’ve seen a lot of people complain about her but i actually quite like her. i think it makes sense that she would get a lot of focus from the story right after her mutation, and that we get to see her struggling with being a mutant and splinter’s death as well. i also don’t dislike the idea of her having an older sister dynamic with the other turtles, i just hope the narrative doesn’t overstep her place in the story. like i hope the story doesn’t start treating her like she’s on the same level as the og 4, or that she’s actually their older sister or something. maybe later on but currently it doesn’t feel like she’s known them for that long or is close enough with them for the sister thing to really work. and as for the 5th turtle thing just in general i don’t think introducing more turtles in any iteration is inherently a bad idea, i just don’t think it can work if you try to put said 5th turtle on the same level as the other four. it just feels wrong. but anyway

well that was longer than i wanted it to be. if someone actually bothered to read this post let me know what you think!! also i’m not totally caught up yet, does the story pick up again during the armageddon game arc ??? looking forward to it if so. i've been reading only the main series so far (oops, i'll get around to the other stuff i promise) but once the armageddon game arc starts i'll definitely read all of the (armageddon game-related) material chronologically

[kitgundy]

hey darling omg!!! *squeezes you*

im so curious about your pokemon series!! youve got me hooked! a couple questions for ya.

1) fave character headcanons and why??

2) any top-tier whump tropes you absolutely adore??

3) currently so into enyo's storyline!! what are some things youve truly enjoyed writing throughout it and some things you found a little trickier??

4) a certain evil researcher;)))) never ceases to amaze me with her simultaneous wickedness and complexity. is there truly hope for her?? are there any peculiar motives that you want to talk about regarding the direction her character has taken??

5) overall, what would you say keeps enyo going and persevering through so much??

6) are there any future pokemon species you plan on writing for?? why??

no pressure to answer all of these!! just poppin' by to ask for whenever you've got time.

enjoy the rest of your day!! a heart for you in our colors!! hehe💙💕✨love you.

-lina!!

Hellooo!! *squeezes you back*

1) Enyo liking the smell of Lavender. You suggested it at some point and it’s been in the back of my head ever since. Also Olivia/Lidia/Sarah is autistic and she and her brother got really into this one show about a mad scientist (it doesn’t actually exist I made it up) and to this day she has a tendency to copy the mannerisms of the main character in that show. The Trio (Keyo, Ana, and Cheri, for those who don’t know) collecting moms is also pretty funny. As for canon character headcanon favorites, Cyllene (Pokémon legends arceus) is such a mom figure and I love her so much.

2) Burns. Fire. You probably have already realized this but burns. Also it’s less fun for me if whumpee’s on their own, I like character interactions. Defiant whumpee. Make em angry. Make em spiteful. It’s very fun to write And to read.

3) It took me a while to get her backstory worked out. Also it took me a hot minute to figure out whether Whisper (her wife basically) was dead or not

4) At this point, she’s so far gone that Rewriting Time’s the only way to really. Fix it. When the thing with Enyo and the group happens, Lidia had been in jail for like 18 years for being Literally Horrible during the Hisuian story. She had been spiraling deeper and deeper into rage, and there was no coming back from that for her without something big happening to shake her worldview and change her mindset. (Currently debating which should be the catalyst for rewriting time, either Enyo has enough and starts illusioning to look like her brother to make her feel bad or she gets what she wants, kills her parents, and then realizes it wasn’t worth it because she hurt so many people and Pokémon that she’s become just as bad as her parents. Maybe both?) As for the direction she’s taken, she started out as “ooh scary scientist lady I need for plot in Hisuian”, became “scary scientist lady who’s trying to copy the moves of Pokémon with technology”, and then I was like “Why is she like this? What happened to make her act like this? Why isn’t she nice? Why does she do these things? Something in her past made her think it was okay, so what was it?” And then her parents came to mind, and I realized she hates them so much she wants to use the copied moves to kill them. And she wants the hisuian zoro’s malice-fueled attacks for that. And that’s when she became a complex character. She hated her parents so much that she decided to destroy them, but on her way to doing so, she became them. She wasn’t meant to be this complex, she wasn’t meant to be a tragic character, but one thing led to another, and she became my greatest fear: turning into the people you hate the most. Every character I have comes from a piece of me. Lidia is my rage, my thirst for vengeance, and my fear of what will happen if I let that consume me. And to think she started out as just some random evil scientist! It’s fascinating to reflect on.

5) She needs to protect her family- she knows if she gives up, Lidia will end up going after.. probably Cheri first, and she can’t let that happen. She’s fiercely loyal to them, and she would die to make sure they were safe. Or stay alive in the face of impossible odds, like what’s going on with Lidia.

6) Mmmmmaybe? I know in any Pokémon story I write, there’s always gonna be at least one zoro involved, it’s happened since I was little haha. Zoro are the best Pokémon in my opinion. But I do have this one story on the back burner about a girl who rescues Pokémon from bad trainers, there’s only One zoro in that one so far hsjddjkf

Love youuuu ❤️🥰😊

[semi-imaginary-place]

finishing ffxvi

endgame lore dump time! ultima+fallen discovered magic and created an advanced civilization. the use of magic caused blight so they abandoned their physical bodies and went to a new land (a new world??? why else bother with becoming beings of spirit) and that was Valisthea. but they also brought the blight with them to valisthea, so part 3 of their plan is to make a 3rd land/new world free of blight. the mothercrystals were collecting aether to power the creation spell. ultima created humans to farm out a vessel capable of holding the power.

if they wanted to go the whole pilisophical debate on how free will is a burden, they should have developed that more through out the game. the weight of choice and the weight of consequence by. because clive doesn't make all that many weighty choices in the game, save the ship of sinking orphans or save the tower of burning orphans but you can only choose 1. that type of stuff. like maybe have clive go interact with the mothercrystal cities and see how their destruction has directly ruined these people's lives. Like i think half of valisthea is dead since the start of the game, could have framed that through the lens of choice. or they should have made a Dragon Age branching paths game although that makes it incredibly hard to make sequels as games like Three Houses or Origins can attest.

well everyone in twinside is dead.

oooooh after clive sucks a dominant. if they try to prime they go berserk. ooooh yeah that explains why he didn't have shiva and what happened with titan because that was never explained well. im surprised dion is willing to risk going berserk given that that exact thing happened just a short time ago and led to the destruction of his beloved empire.

i've given up on jill as a character, im fine with her being a side character, this game is the joshua clive show, but if they were going to sideline her they should have done so from the start instead of building her up as a main character only to drop her story line off a cliff. and get rid of the romance, the romance adds nothing to the game and actively makes it worse, its just a distraction from the rest of the story. having Jill be a side character is fine, reducing her role in the story to that of Clive's girlfriend isn't ok.

sidequest time: sabine might be sheltered but i do agree with her. why is a rosarian secret organization headquartered in dhalmek?

the reason i didn't understand why jill couldn't prime after clive absorbed shiva's aether was that at the very beginning of the game its established that the phoenix shares its blessing with its shields. Its established as normal that eikons can share their powers and that clive can use the phoenix's power. its only later that the game brings up the plot point that if clive drains someone, priming will kill them or berserk them which isn't explained at all with titan.

the tomes and dion quest may be my favorite. the flower lore continues. the national flower of sanbreque is the same one used for the poisonous tattoo ink used on bearers. our roots do not define us. where the emperor gifted the domesticated flower to dion to shackle him and make him obedient, tomes his other father figure gives him a wild flower to set dion free. for all the things each tell clive, tomes his guilt for not better mentoring dion and dion his crushing guilt of failing not only sanbreque but also tomes, they say very little of that to each other.

they're even going to Origin without Jill, she got sidelined SO HARD, dropped off the edge of the world. Joshua and Dion are both going and they're going to die if they prime. AND THEY DON'T EVEN GO ON AN AIRSHIP there was that whole subplot about Mid designing an airship. a great way to foil Ultima's plan is to keep Joshua at the hiddeway since Ultima needs both brothers.

really boss fight immediately??? where's my final dungeon so long i want to cry and give up.

huh. ultima's kindred/the fallen turned their bodies into the crystal/the mothercrystals (from which all crystal originates). what what happened to that whole dragon corpse thing. unless you're saying they're a hivemind dragon? those made into crystal were meant to be abandoned in valisthea but by destroying the mothercrystals clive has freed them. ok you lost me. presumably 8? 9? eikon statues each with an ultima in front of it and there was also an ultima sealed in joshua. each mothercrystal was actually an ultima, but there were only 5 mothercrystals. im confused.

Ifrit doesn't get a new design new design now that phoenix and ifrit have fully combined? robbed. ROBBED. After seeing the mural the entire game I was hoping to be able to play as the true eikon of fire. they never did explain what was special about the element of fire, i mean why wasn't leviathan or garuda the vessel?

oh clive absorbed ultima. why'd you'd that

clive, didn't we have this whole arc about not sacrificing yourself and going it alone.

so joshua his body falling apart gives the past of his power to clive before dying. clive beats up ultima and absorbs him. clive then restores the damage on joshua's body/tries to pour phoenix back into him before deciding to kamikaze black the entirety of origin. He's then implied to have died of the curse from using too much power on the shore and jill's reaction later. joshua is implied to have survived and written the story in the epilogue. hey clive maybe if you just sliced the crystal like you did the others you might not have died.

or apparently the lyrics hint that clive wrote the story in joshua's name and clive was looking at the moon. who knows i dont care anymore.

the joshua and clive scenes in this last part were good and the rest of it was bad

this story is wack. one of the least coherent stories I have seen in some time, the further on it goes the worse it gets. and it started so strongly too or perhaphs because of the prologue format. it brings up plot threads only to drop them character arcs go no where, it thematically backtracks and double crosses itself. it tries to do 17 themes without tying them together.

FFXVI feels like some mix of got, dragon age, final fantasy, but worse than all of them.

ambiguous and concrete endings are equal, it is about what purpose each serves. what does an ambiguous ending add to the themes, to the atmosphere, to the storytelling? what does a concrete ending add to the themes, to the atmosphere, to the storytelling? on a personal level i enjoy the mastery needed to craft a subtle and good ambiguous ending. however the ambiguous ending here doesn't help any part of ffxiv