#or fucking with authority figures I don't really respect all that much for shits and giggles when I get a chance

[redshiftsinger]

also Not Actually Racism but at least topically adjacent (and funny), one time in school the teacher was trying to start a conversation about racism, awkwardly, and said "what would you do if someone in here called a classmate a racial slur".

I, being a bit of a misanthropic sassbucket at that age who never missed an opportunity to screw with an authority figure if I thought I could get away with it, looked around the room quickly to confirm what I was pretty sure was true, just in case (double-checking points of fact before opening your mouth can save much embarrassment!) and responded "I'd be really confused, since everyone in here is white".

A kid in back didn't miss a fucking beat to come back with "shut up, cracker" (damn, way to be funnier than me, but I'll take credit for the setup anyway)

We all couldn't stop collectively laughing about that for the rest of the class period.

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hi!! can i request carmy berzatto #16, t? 🤭

Finders, Keepers.

16. "Is that my shirt?" + t. Roommates

Author's Note - this is written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested. my first time writing for beautiful angel boy carmy <3

Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - smut!! + cursing

Word Count - 1185

Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.

The Roommate Collection.

Having Carmen Berzatto as a roommate is a blessing and a curse.

It's a blessing for many reasons. He's kind, thoughtful, considerate. He cooks, he cleans, he loads the dishwasher correctly. He's fairly quiet, he respects your boundaries, he always lets you choose the movie to watch. He's perfect in every way, really.

He's perfect in every way. That's the curse.

He's the most attractive man you've ever laid your eyes on. And he cooks. And he cleans. And he's the best roommate you could ever ask for. You're convinced anyone would struggle not to fall in love with him. Anyone.

You've fallen victim to the Berzatto charm. As much as you'd love to tell him, you don't want to ruin this good thing the two of you have. It's not worth it. So, you keep your mouth shut, and your eyes glued to his perfect face whenever he's not looking. It's sometimes painful, but it works.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You're woken up bright and early by someone knocking on your bedroom door.

"I'm making breakfast. Lesson, or nah?"

Before you met Carmy, you couldn't really cook. Sure, you knew the basics, but he's opened you up to all sorts of new techniques and flavours. Whenever he starts to prepare a meal, he'll ask you if you want a lesson. Sometimes, you'll say no, content to watch him do his thing in the kitchen. More often than not, you'll say yes, allowing him to talk you through what he's doing and why. He explains everything step by step, always ensuring he's thorough but never patronising. These little cooking lessons allowed the both of you to get to know each other, bonding you together.

"Yeah, sure!" you call through the door, still half asleep. "Give me a minute."

You hear him turn the coffee maker on, the sounds of mugs clinking together filling the kitchen.

You stumble out of bed, grabbing around for something to wear. You find a dark grey t shirt on the chair and throw it over your head haphazardly. Pulling some socks on to tackle the morning chill, you run your fingers through your hair before making your way through the apartment.

Carmy's wearing his navy plaid pyjama pants and a white t shirt that hugs his biceps just right. His hair is sticking up in all directions, and it takes everything in you not to reach out and fix it into place.

"Morning, sweetheart," he says without turning around. "What do you want for breakfast, pancakes or waffles?"

"Hmmm," you debate. "Waffles, I think."

"Waffles it is."

Carmen turns around from where he's been brewing the coffee, and almost falls over. You're stood leaning against the counter, hair mussed and eyes still sleepy. Your legs are on full display, socks ending just above your ankle, skin glowing in the morning light. You smell like warmth and a golden sunrise. Carmy holds onto the mug in his hand like his life depends on it.

"Coffee," he stutters, handing it to you. You cross the kitchen and take it from him, kissing him on the cheek as a thank you. You both pretend not to notice the way heat blooms up his chest at the action.

The longer he looks at you, the more he can't put his finger on what it is that's driving him insane. There's something different about you this morning, and it's got him riled up. His eyes rake over your body once, twice, three times before he figures it out.

"Is that my shirt?"

You look down to find that yes, it is. You must have picked it up from the pile of clean laundry he did yesterday accidentally.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, Carmy."

"No, it's okay. You look... you... it's - fuck."

You've never seen his brain short circuit like this, and you're not entirely sure what's happening.

"Are you... alright, Carmy?"

"God," he groans. "Stop saying my name like that."

"... like what?"

"Like... fuck. You say it so fuckin' pretty."

He has a look in his eyes you've never seen before. It's almost animalistic. He looks feral.

He strides over to you, cradling your face in his calloused hands. He presses his forehead to yours, and exhales shakily.

"Will you let me taste you, honey?" he murmurs.

Your breath catches in your throat, and your knees go weak. It's a good job he's holding you up.

"Please," he practically begs. "I'll make you feel real good."

You answer him by smashing your lips to his, hands fisting in the front of his shirt. He kisses you back with vigour, tongues tangling and mouths melding. You moan and he swallows it, committing the sound to memory.

Carmy walks you backwards and hoists you up onto the edge of the kitchen table, before dropping to his knees. He looks debauched, knelt in front of you with wide eyes and swollen lips. You think he's never looked prettier.

He starts by kissing up from your ankles to your thighs, building the tension expertly. You're practically vibrating with anticipation, desperate to feel him where you need him most. Your underwear is soaked through, and you're convinced you're going to go insane if he doesn't get his mouth on you soon.

As if he's reading your mind, he nudges his nose against your covered core, inhaling. He groans at your scent, and it's the filthiest thing you've ever seen. He pulls your underwear down in one quick swoop, looking up at you carefully. You grab the hem of your shirt, ready to pull it over your head, but Carmy stops you.

"Leave it on," he mutters. "Please."

You nod your head, and he takes that as confirmation. He dives into you, lapping you up like a man parched. He's nipping, biting, suckling at you as if he's done it a thousand times before. You prop yourself on your elbows, giving you the perfect view of this perfect man in this perfect situation. He's so eager to please you it makes your heart and your core ache.

"Fuck," he groans. "Sweetest thing I've ever tasted."

He slips two fingers into you with ease, and your back arches. You're writhing, moaning on every out breath, struggling to inhale. Is there anything this man can't do?

You can feel your orgasm building, warm and persistent in your stomach. Carmy can too.

"Come on, honey," he begs. "Give it to me. I want it. Let me have it."

You're not sure if it's his dulcet tone or the way his fingers curl on every upstroke, but you fall apart, hips keening and back canting. You whine his name and he groans, low and deep.

"There we go," he's muttering. "Good girl. That's it. Atta girl."

When he's satisfied you're satisfied, he stands up and kisses you again, allowing you to taste yourself on his bitten lips.

"No Michelin star dish is ever going to compare to that," he teases against your mouth. You both laugh, giddy off of each other.

"Shut up," you giggle. "Now, are we making waffles, or what?"

[nyxfleuret]

Ross Humboldt x F!Reader

|18+| MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO, PLEASE DNI!

Author's Note: I really got inspired on this one, I put so much effort...I hope you all like it! I had to change some things but it is actually the movie's plot. (Patrick Wilson is so hot on that movie, not only in that movie lol.)

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: smut with plot, breeding kink, gore, violence, swearing, voyeurism? (Idk rlly), deaths, movie spoilers, oral receiving (female and male), giant rock lol, reader has stretch marks.

•SPOILERS AHEAD!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shit." It was the only word that managed to come out of your mouth as you supported yourself on your slightly bent knees, trying to catch your breath.

You didn't know how long you had been in that place...In that damn field of tall grass.

You only knew that when you entered, it was still morning and that the reason for all this was because you had heard a boy named Tobin screaming for help, claiming that he was lost in the field.

"Okay, now me, this Tobin and God knows who else, we're trapped in this field." You comment to yourself, placing both hands on your waist, staring at the floor as you tried to think, but no ideas came to mind. "We're all screwed..."

You return to walking, looking at the sky that was now night and cloudy, threatening to dump heavy rain on the area as you adjust your tank top and pants.

"Great, and now it's about to rain...Can it get any worse?" Well, it seems like you asked this question at the wrong time.

You hear someone moving in the grass behind you and reluctantly, you look back, trying to see what or who it was.

"Look, I really don't have time to play hide and seek, there's something really wrong here so...Just show up." You sigh, breathing heavily, having no weapon to defend yourself.

Ross's figure appears, brushing away the grass with his hands as he smiles slightly at you, sweat covering his face and chest, which could be seen as the top of his pink shirt was unbuttoned.

"Hi...I heard your voice and managed to track you." Ross looks at you, breathing heavily as he places his hands on his waist.

"W-Who are you?" You move away from him, taking a few steps back.

"My name is Ross, I'm looking for my wife Natalie and my son Tobin, they are also lost in this field." Ross sighs, looking around. "I don't even know how long I've been here... If that dog hadn't come in...

"The dog?" You thought and looked at the floor. A few minutes ago, you had seen the body of a dog in an advanced state of decomposition, indicating that a lot of time had passed. "So you're Tobin's father..."

"Have you seen my son?" He raises an eyebrow, looking at you waiting for a positive response.

"No...But I heard his cries for help. The moment I entered in this field, I didn't hear him anymore." You sigh, scratching the back of your neck as you look away from him.

Ross looks down for a moment and then looks back at you.

"We can get together and try to find my family, then we get out of here, what do you think? Ross smiles at you, trying to cheer you up.

You nod, still reluctant but to tell the truth, you had no alternative but to unite with the only person you met in this place.

Ross leads the way, pushing aside the plantation with his strong hands, clearing the path for the two of you.

"Fuck..." You curse as you realize you've sunk your sneakers into the mud, earning a small laugh from Ross. " That's not funny!" You scoff, pulling your dirty shoes out of the mud.

"Somebody help me, please!" Tobin's voice echoes through the leaves, the same voice that is the reason you are here.

"Tobin!" Ross starts running, leaving you behind, trying to follow his son's voice.

You try to follow him but it was too late, the field had already changed your position.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" You stamp your foot on the floor, clenching your hands as you try to control the anger inside you. "When this kid and I get out of here, I'm going to beat the shit out of him...With all due respect, of course."

The rain starts to fall, increasing in intensity as you walk through the grass, trying to find Ross and Tobin.

"If I hadn't taken a vacation, everything would be fine..." You mutter, trying to look up, but the rain only made it difficult for you to see.

You decide to sit on the wet grass, hiding your head between your legs, hugging them in an attempt to keep warm and protect yourself from the rain.

Falling asleep without realizing it, you look up at the sky, noticing the rain had stopped and it was dawning.

"And here we go." You get up with a slight pain in your back, stretching yourself trying to alleviate it. "Besides feeling alone, I feel like an old woman..."

Starting to walk again, you look around, hoping to find something or someone to help you.

Your vision is tired of seeing only grass and daylight, the scorching sun slowly burning your skin, sweat sliding down your forehead and neck, your body warning you of dehydration.

Suddenly, you hear Tobin's voice and two other people, a man and a woman, who you hadn't heard before.

"Hey, can someone help me? I'm lost here!" You look up, your ears focusing on the screams of others.

"That's nothing new since we're all stuck here!" Cal sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Guys, my dog ​​is dead..." Tobin says in a crying voice, not knowing what to do.

"I have an idea! Tobin, keep talking loud so we can all reach you!" You start running in the direction of Tobin's voice, everyone running in the same direction.

You meet Tobin, who was looking at his dead dog in a state of decomposition, Cal and Becky, who appeared to be brothers and who were also lost there and then another man appears, Travis.

"Thank God." Becky smiles, feeling relieved in a way, as she looks at the rest of the group.

"Who are you?" You raise an eyebrow, breathing heavily as you recover from the run you had just done.

"I'm Becky, this is my brother Cal." The woman points to her brother, who was looking at you with a suspicious look. "And this one is Travis...my...ex."

You noticed the change in tone in her voice as you discreetly looked at her pregnant belly, the pieces of the puzzle quickly falling into place inside your mind.

"And you?" Becky looks at the blonde boy while rubbing her belly.

"I'm Tobin..." The boy looks at Becky, Cal and Travis, then turns to you. "I heard your voice, you were with my father, weren't you?

You nod, looking at him. "I thought your father found you." Frowning, you cross your arms.

"I had heard his voice approaching me but suddenly, he disappeared and I remained alone." The boy's loneliness was like a stab in your heart, no one deserves to be alone, especially at his age.

"I'm very sorry." You sigh, lowering yourself to his level as you rub his shoulders in a comforting, almost maternal way. "We're going to find him and when we do, we'll all get out of here."

The tension in the young boy's muscles eases as you comfort him. "Thanks." He waves and smiles.

"Okay, which way?" Cal looks around, looking for a way out.

"I have an idea...Tobin, get on my shoulders." Travis bends down, giving Tobin access to his shoulders. The boy sits on them and slowly, Travis stands up. "Okay, now...Do you see anything?"

Tobin looks in all directions until his gaze finds the church which was on the other side of the road, in front of the field.

"The church! I see it!" Tobin points in its direction and Travis starts walking, followed by the others. "Don't separate from us, not even for a minute."

You nod and the others do the same, following Travis and Tobin as they think about why this strange field exists.

Your mind browsed through your memories, more precisely in the brief moments you had shared with Ross.

Damn, the man was married and already had a son, but oh...He was so handsome. It was as if he were a Greek God...That shirt he was wearing, open on the upper part of his chest, giving access to his curious gazes, those lips that were just the right amount of flesh and his penetrating blue gaze, which seemed to drown out all your thoughts everytime you looked at him. (Aquaman reference, got it? Because Patrick Wilson is Orm and...Yeah, you got it AHEM.)

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud thump behind you, making you jump and quickly turn around to see what had happened.

Becky had passed out, being surrounded by the group while Cal tried to save her, pressing both hands together on her chest repeatedly.

"What happened?" You ask, not moving closer to give her brother and ex space as they both tried to save her.

"She just fainted, fell..." Travis' chest was breathing heavily as he felt sick.

You looked at her belly, worried about the safety of the baby and the mother.

Suddenly, Ross appears in the tall grass, bending down and trying to save her, successfully.

Becky takes a deep breath and coughs, sitting up and looking at the man in surprise.

"Dad!" Tobin runs into Ross' open arms, who catches him and holds him in a tight hug.

"My son...Are you okay?" Ross looks at the smiling boy, stroking his blonde hair.

The boy nods and looks at the others. "They helped me."

Ross smiles and looks at everyone, his gaze meeting yours, a moment that seemed to pass much slower than usual. "You...Thank you for taking care of my son."

Nodding, you look away as a blush takes over your cheeks. CONCENTRATE!

"I ended up getting to the road but I wasn't going to leave my wife and son here." Ross smiles, hugging Tobin.

"How?" Travis raises an eyebrow, sighing.

"I can only say that it's not a straight line. Where were you all going?" Ross looks at the group, directing his gaze once again to you.

"In the direction of the building." You smile at Tobin's father earning a smile in return.

"Building?"

"We were close..." Cal helps Becky to her feet, looking around.

"Come up again, Tobin." Travis kneels, allowing the blonde to sit on his shoulders again.

He rotates 360°, unable to find the building.

"It disappeared." Tobin continues searching, without success.

"That's how it works around here, but I have a lucky ticket for anyone who wants it." Ross opens his arms, smiling widely at the others.

"You had the chance to get out of here, why didn't you do it?" Travis narrows his eyes, crossing his arms.

"I wasn't going to leave my wife and son here, considering that now, I have you all to save too." He laughs lightly, shaking his head. "Come on, I'll show you the way..."

Ross begins to lead the way, being followed by the others.

Something didn't feel right...The fact that Ross knew how to get out of that place was very strange, but there was nothing you could do but to follow him.

You continued to follow Ross, watching the sky darken quickly, the orange color of the afternoon turning into the dark blue of the night.

Humboldt began to sing, his voice resembling the song of sirens, drawing you more and more with a dangerous melody.

"You have a beautiful voice." You look at Ross, who turns to you, nodding.

"Thanks, I used to be in a band when I was young." Ross smiles and returns to lead the way.

Suddenly, you come across a large black rock in the center of the field, with several drawings contained on it, as if they were describing a ritual.

"We're here." Ross smiles, but this time differently...A mischievous smile.

"What is that?" You ask, pointing to the rock.

"This...It's the stone of redemption...Touch it and you will know everything." Ross moves closer to you, his breath hitting against your cheek. "Touch it."

You swallow hard, approaching the stone, reaching out your hand until...

"STOP!!! DON'T TOUCH THE ROCK!" Natalie shouts, appearing in the center of the field.

"Mom!" Tobin runs towards her, hugging her.

"I don't know what he told you, but it's a lie!" The mother looks at Ross, narrowing her eyes.

"Honey? What happened?" Humboldt tries to get closer.

"DON'T COME CLOSER!" Natalie places Tobin behind her, taking steps back as her gaze shifts to Becky. "You..."

Becky raises her eyebrows in surprise, not recognizing Natalie.

"I saw...I saw...She was...She was..." She breathes heavily, holding back the tears that were about to fall from her eyes.

"She was...She was what? Just say it." Ross's smile gets wider and wider as he looks at his wife.

"She wasn't alive." Natalie turns away, hiding her face with her right hand. "And you were going to hurt me..."

"Hurt you?" Ross frowns. "How can you think something like that? I would never do that, we're together...We're a family, aren't we Travis?" Ross opens his arms and turns to the man.

Becky suddenly begins to feel severe pains in her stomach, squirming as Cal and Travis rub her back.

An image comes to her mind, Ross was in the middle of the grass, his eyes were completely white as if there was no soul there, as if he was being controlled by the field, a wide smile spread across his face as he lowered his head.

Becky comes back to reality, looking at Ross.

"Let's go." Her gaze becomes serious, taking steps back. "Now."

You frown, looking at everyone there. Certainly, something wasn't right there and the only thing you wanted at that moment was to get out of there.

"Want to come with us?" Travis looks at Natalie and Tobin, who nod but don't move when they see Ross has positioned himself in front of them.

"No...You don't understand...You have to touch the stone!" Ross smiles, trying to mislead them. "But I just don't understand one thing...How did you find us? Why are you here?" Ross narrows his eyes, frowning as he points at Natalie. "The field wouldn't let you find us...Unless..." The pieces fit together in Ross's mind. "This isn't about you..." He opens his eyes wide in realization. "It's about me."

He turns to the stone, his breathing increasing more and more.

"You want the hard sell? Sure, that's fine with me." He shrugs and is then surprised by Travis, who jumps on him, punching him in the face.

"Run!!!" Travis screams as he continues to punch him.

Tobin runs ahead of Natalie, managing to get away from his father, but it was too late for his mother.

Ross elbows Travis in the face, making him fall and then grabs Natalie, who screams as she tries to escape her husband's hands.

"MOM!!!" Tobin tries to go back to her, but is held back by Becky.

You stand there, motionless next to Cal, looking at Ross in shock.

Ross begins squeezing both sides of Natalie's head, causing her to bleed as she looks at her son.

"No...Son, don't worry...It's just grass and all flesh is grass." Ross increases the strength in his hands, crushing Natalie's head, causing blood to spray everywhere.

Ross's face was covered in blood, as were his clothes, mixing with the mud and sweat present on his body.

"RUN!" Travis manages to get up and starts running, Becky; Cal and Tobin leading the way.

You look at Ross, your gaze focused on the blood present on his face. Humboldt noticed your gaze and smiled at you, licking his lips, savoring the taste of iron and then, winking at you.

"Let's go!" Travis pulls your arm, making you follow him as you all ran away from Ross, not knowing where to go.

"You have nowhere to run!" Ross shouts, still standing in the center of the field, not even bothering to follow you all.

You find an abandoned store and decide to enter it, trying to hide from Ross, but deep down you knew there was no way out.

Tobin hugs Becky, looking at the ground. "He's right, we're all grass."

You look at the boy, thinking about what you could do to help them.

"If we stay here, he'll find us and it'll be worse." Travis sighs, placing his hands on his waist.

"And what do we do?" Becky looks at her ex, waiting for an answer.

Freddy, Tobin's dog, passes through an isolated patch of tall grass, then disappears.

"What? Where did he go?" Cal asks, still looking out the window.

Seconds later, Freddy appears on the road, heading towards the church.

"There's a gap there, like a wormhole. That's where we have to go, let's go!" Travis smiles, feeling a twinge of hope in his chest.

You had stopped paying attention to others a long time ago, as your mind was focused on something else: Ross.

That moment when he licked his lips and winked at you flirtatiously kept replaying in your head. The way he breathed, the way he spoke, the way he smiled... Oh, how extremely delicious he was.

And the blood giving a final touch to that man's personality, an aggressive but erotic touch at the same time, how could that be possible? You thought.

Is this unhealthy? You questioned yourself. The fact that you were attracted to a person who had just killed their partner in front of you and everyone but who smiled and winked at you, especially you...Was it a bad thing?

You stopped and thought, wondering if it was the field that was making you think these things.

You snapped out of your trance when you noticed everyone leaving the store, heading towards the "gap."

"Hey, wait for m-" You froze as you felt a strong hand grab your shoulder, forcing you to turn around.

"Do you know what your mistake is?" Ross looks at you with a calculating look, his breath hitting your lips. "It's the simple fact that you all think that one day you will leave this place." He smiles menacingly, stroking your cheek.

You start to run as fast as you can, pushing through the tall grass with your hands, reluctantly looking back and realizing that this time, Ross was running after you.

You try to speed up your steps, running tirelessly, the dose of adrenaline increasing within your blood.

You look back again, Ross was no longer there. When you turn around, you are surprised by him, who jumps on top of you, pinning you to the ground with his weight while holding both your hands together above your head.

You squirm, not noticing that your movements caused Ross's erection to grow inside his brown pants.

"I'm impressed." Ross smiles widely, referring to the race. The moonlight hitting your skin, highlighting every detail of your bodies.

You can't focus on anything other than Ross's bloodied face, which was very close to yours.

"I noticed the way you look at me, you're attracted to me, aren't you sweetie?" Ross kisses your neck, making you sigh and close your eyes for a brief second.

"The grass knows everything, and it told me that you want to feel me inside you." He licks a stripe that starts on your neck and ends on your cheek, leaving a trail of saliva mixed with blood. "You want to be mine, don't you?"

You swallow hard, your chest going down and up repeatedly in a short period of time.

Ross's gaze goes lower and lower, stopping at your breasts, noticing your hard nipples from the contact between your two bodies.

Ross continues to trap your hands with his left hand and with his right, he lifts your tank top, causing your breasts to pop out.

"Round and perfect." He caresses your belly, his hand exploring the small stretch marks on your waist, then going higher, caressing your breasts and feeling the stretch marks also present there and squeezing your nipples, playing with them, making you moan and arch your back.

Your mind becomes empty, being once again filled entirely by him.

Humboldt lowers his face, licking the place under your belly button, moving up while his tongue tastes your soft skin until he reaches your breasts, taking one nipple in his mouth, caressing the other with his free hand.

You moan louder, arching your back and grinding against him, yearning for more.

He separates his face from your breasts, looking back at you.

"So beautiful." He kisses you fervently, as if he’s needy.

Your tongues mingle, a strange feeling in your stomach area taking over you as you feel his erection get bigger and harder.

He kisses your neck again, giving small bites there, intensifying the pleasure.

You could swear he would make you come right there, without even penetrating you.

He kneels down next to you, stopping his grip on your hands to see if you would react, but you didn't.

You did absolutely nothing, just stood there...Waiting for him to continue.

Ross seeing this, took off your pants, looking at your panties, completely wet. He smiled and positioned himself in front of her face, unbuttoning his pants, releasing his cock wet with pre-cum.

"Be a good girl and help me with this." Ross began to masturbate in front of her face, placing the tip of his cock between your lips.

You took his cock in your hands and started licking the tip, eliciting a loud moan from Ross, who looked at you while stroking your hair.

Your tongue began to work at the base, sucking the man's balls and caressing the hair on top, tracing a path over the veins that ran from the beginning to the end of his dick.

Oh, and his dick was huge. It was full of veins, with some hair at its base, it was...perfect.

Your mouth opened and you sheltered him in your heat and wetness, the sensation sending shivers down Ross's spine as yet another moan escaped the man's lips.

You knelt as you worked on his pleasure, the head of his cock hitting the back of your throat, making tears run down your cheeks as you tried not to choke.

Ross wiped one of her tears with his thumb, taking it to his mouth and sucking it, feeling the salty taste.

"Mmhm, keep going baby...I'm about to come." He throws his head back, his hips start to move at the same time as he fucks your throat.

You stay like that for a few more seconds until he comes and spills his hot seed inside your mouth.

Before you could do anything, he lifts your chin with his fingers and smiles.

“Swallow~” He licks his lips, waiting for you to do as he asked.

You swallow, closing your eyes and opening your mouth, sticking your tongue out, showing that you've swallowed.

"Good girl." He kisses your cheek, feeling proud.

He pushes you to the ground again, your back meeting the muddy grass as he takes off your panties and drops his mouth onto your wet pussy.

You moan at the contact of his tongue with your clit, sinking your hand into the mud that surrounded you.

"Mmhm, how delicious." Ross opens your pussy with his index and middle fingers making a "V" shape, penetrating you with his tongue.

Your back arches unconsciously as your loud moans echo over the plantation.

You hear the strong wind blow over the tall grass, which was moving calmly, hearing voices that seem to whisper in your ear phrases like:

"You belong here."

"You are his now and his alone."

"You are grass, all flesh is grass."

Ross lifts your legs, making your lower back rise as well, giving access to your ass.

He licks and bites one of your cheeks before sinking his lips to your other hole, his eyes focused on your face.

You close your hand in the man's brown hair, moaning and moving your hips to match Humboldt's actions.

After a few minutes, you end up squirting into his mouth, making him laugh lightly and swallow your juices.

He pulls away from you, breathing heavily.

"This way, you'll finish me off." He smiles and gets up, putting his dick inside his pants then picking you up in his arms and carrying you to the rock.

You rest your head on his chest, closing your eyes as you try to recover.

"I'm not done yet, honey." He kisses your cheek as he continues to carry you.

You return to the center of the field, the grass stops moving.

He gently puts you on your feet and holds your hands, bringing you to the stone.

"Touch her, baby." He whispers in your ear. "And we will be one, forever." He nibbles on your earlobe, playing with it with his teeth.

You move closer to the stone, extending your hands until they meet the cold surface of the rock.

The sky turns crimson, as if there were an eclipse, you feel the grass embrace your arms, slowly consuming you.

Ross hugs you from behind, one hand goes down, passing over your breasts, feeling your belly and reaching your pussy.

You moan again, rubbing your bare ass against his clothed cock.

Ross's skilled fingers begin to work on your intimacy, providing you pleasure at the same time that your hands remain connected to the stone. After a few seconds, he takes his dick out of his pants, pulling them down.

He turns you around, lifting your legs, resting them on his forearms while his hands find the stone behind you, each on the side of your shoulders, making your pussy exposed as your back meets the surface. ice cold from the stone.

He gives you a long kiss, your tongues battling for territory, mixing blood and saliva as he begins to penetrate you with strong thrusts.

The sudden entrance made you scream and close your eyes tightly, resting your hands on his shoulders, the sky was completely red and the grass was laughing, witnessing the intimate moment shared between you.

He continues to give strong thrusts inside your pussy, your ass slapping against his hips, making wet and erotic sounds, feeling you close around him while your moans mix in the air.

"I will fill you with my semen, you will have my child and we will be a happy family." He whispers in your ear as he continues to penetrate you.

You caress both of his cheeks as you nod, closing your eyes as you both reach your peak.

"Oh my..." You roll your eyes back, feeling his warm seed fill your insides, the promise of a new life being made.

He takes a deep breath, resting his forehead against yours as he smiles.

"My dear..." He kisses your forehead, leaving another trail of blood on your face.

"Now you are mine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

[homunculus-argument]

You know those things that you grow up figuring is just how things are, and then you discover that apparently that may not be all that universal? I've started thinking about finnish people's relationship with rules and laws. Because finnish people, by and large, are rigidly, downright aggressively obedient to written rules and instructions, but not for the kind of reasons that people I have talked with tend to initially assume.

Finns don't follow and obey rules out of any kind of fear, respect, or reverence to a specific authority, ruler or leader. They follow the rules because they are rules. Who the authority who set them is, and why they were set, is practically irrelevant. Finns don't really do cult-of-personality leader worship, having respect for any specific, particular authority is not required. You just follow whoever's officially in charge now, even if you'll call them a cunt to their face while you do it.

Finland has never had a native king. Rulers and authorities in high seats have never been a part of the people, you don't define yourself by whose leadership you side with. You just know that there's some authority somewhere, who probably doesn't speak your language and has never seen your land, and certainly doesn't give a shit about the peasants of this region. But there is an authority, and rules that are enforced by the said authority, and that is sufficient.

And it isn't out of some naivé belief that any ruler at all is benign or good. Finns just hate each other more than they hate you. A finn's nearest enemy is their closest neighbour, and when you fucking hate your neighbour and know they hate you too, the closest thing to a fair authority is a neutral court system that doesn't give a shit about either of you, but would much prefer to have two working, living peasants than one that got stabbed to death and one that has to be executed for stabbing a guy.

While english doesn't have the word at all, the finnish language independently developed an exact equivalent to the german schadenfreude, mirth over someone else's misfortune. Finns obey laws and rules not because they'd automatically believe that the law itself is good, but out of a crabs-in-a-bucket -mentality, an attitude of "if I have to do as I'm told then fuck you, so do you." Someone else's fortune is always your misfortune, so fucking someone else over just for the sake of it is it's own reward.

And if you're wondering about how you've seen finns peacefully playing patty cake with each other on Tumblr, that's some Jungle Book water truce kind of shit I've never seen anywhere else on the internet. All the other finnish internet circles I've seen are some straight-up old school 4chan levels of hostility, there's middle-aged moms calling each others' children slurs in facebook and Suomi24 as we speak. Finnish reddit is somewhat less hostile, as there the moderators serve in place of a foreign king who doesn't give a shit about either of you.

[sunllghtt]

Rocket and his complex relationship with power and authority

(I'm not really familiar with the comics so this whole thing is solely based on evidence from the trilogy and Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy game ok thank you)

It's repeatedly shown to the audience that Rocket has absolutely no respect for authority and whoever's supposed to be above him. Though it definitely has some deep roots and goes way back to his experience with control and the High Evolutionary (once he's out, there's certainly the wound and the wrath of a victim who's been abused and dehumanized for years in the name of someone else’s twisted will – someone who should've protected him and promised a reward at the end of the torture), I don't think that's where the resentment stops.

Rocket will go out of his way to spite authorities. He'll go out of his way to prove to them their hierarchy means dogshit to him. In the first movie, when they get caught, he calls the Nova “fascists” and talks about how they're “corrupt and cruel” (which doesn't fall far from Rocket's game iteration, who would rather do literally anything but pay the goddamn fine. His resistance is beyond their lack of money and comes from something bigger he can't step over, as if giving them any ounce of their money would be a betrayal to himself and his beliefs). In the second movie, Rocket impulsively steals a shit ton of batteries at the very clear risk of getting his whole team killed, and despite the self-destructive, self-sabotage aspects of the whole thing, it was also his “fuck you” letter to the people who, besides being directly connected to the High Evo and most likely bringing back not so awesome memories, made sure to talk down to him and his friends and literally just exist to serve as this perfect, unflawed images of unquestionable power.

Before we understand what it is, we need to understand what it can't be. When we go back to Vol. 1 and look at the other characters, especially Quill, we learn that Rocket knew about the political state the galaxy was in. He knew about Gamora, about Ronan, about most of their plans and had a clear idea of what was going on in general. Meanwhile, one of the only reasons Quill just stood still and let it happen for so long was his own ignorance and lack of information, and he takes a side as soon as he realizes what's about to happen – while Rocket's still reluctant until the last second (“What’s the galaxy ever done for you? Why would you wanna save it?). Rocket actively chooses to keep himself as far as he can from any of that, and not out of ignorance or neglect, but a conscious and resistant decision.

Rocket's hate toward the system might be related to some sort of trauma response and a lot of hard-learned experience. He knows what injustice is. He knows the Nova Corps will always help everyone and everything out of the kindness of their heart and their flourishing goodwill, as long as it fits their own interests. They'll watch over whoever benefits them the most. He knows the system has a funny tendency to side with the rich, the great, the powerful, and he knows he's none of those things. The High Evolutionary had done whatever he wanted, took as much as he pleased, hurt whoever he wanted for hundreds of years and still got praised for his hard work and had his face openly circulating around the whole galaxy like he hadn't torn him and his friends apart. People like him got to stay safe while Rocket would get arrested for stealing a protein bar. Everybody knows and nobody does anything.

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this rambling is the reason Rocket is, or at least used to be, so thrilled about defying authority figures is because he's seen enough to be hopeless, he's seen enough to know most of them have no problem being selfish, sadist, oblique, fascist, corrupt and cruel when given the opportunity.

[ladyluscinia]

2x08 Reaction #7

Ok, last episode thing in this series I've finally circled around to being pissed about is framing Izzy as a mentor to Edward.

Because what the fuck.

When they had Stede do the whole "taught him everything he knows" bit in 2x05 I thought it was pure flattery, to the point I thought it was wild that Izzy even gave a little shrug like he might believe it. I thought we had established pretty clearly in S1 that Edward was the creative thinker and leader in their dynamic.

Izzy was useful - probably even essential - but he was the support. The tool. Good at the execution.

And he certainly seemed to know this. In 1x04 where they establish their pre-Stede dynamic, Izzy expects Edward to come up with a brilliant plan and tell him what to do. He only doubts him enough to try and take charge at the last possible second, seems mostly aware his own idea is "get shot fighting back instead of sitting and dying", and feels genuine regret for both having to shoot down Edward's first plan and insulting him at all once he saves them in the end.

Because Edward is brilliant. He's earned his place as the leader between them. As Blackbeard.

Which makes it absolutely infuriating that in pivoting him into a "wise mentor" role they have Ricky say to Izzy's face that he was the brains behind Blackbeard and Izzy doesn't even refute it??? Paired with killing him off as the mentor (supposedly), and paralleling him to Auntie as they really double down on the "mentor who has authority over strategy and is proud of you" thing, and the displays of respect in 2x07... it kinda feels like the show is saying Edward learned most or all of his shit from Izzy.

And, like... if they just meant swordfighting and getting an approving nod when he pulled off a complicated disarm that would be one thing, but they kept focusing on things like "brains of the operation" and "how to lead the crew as a Captain" lessons.

And Edward is so much less interesting if Izzy actually taught him how to be Blackbeard, or if he was doing things as Blackbeard for Izzy's approval.

Like I guess I'm glad they didn't flesh it out enough to make the implications fully textual so you can fudge them away from that direction, but they don't really tell you not to read it that way. The man is even giving emotional development advice for fuck's sake. The mentor thing is jarring enough because the authority and respect dynamic really never flowed in Izzy's direction, but it's also putting Izzy in a position where I feel like they are implying he made Edward the man he was for better and worse, and... no. Don't do that.

Stop giving Edward's anxiety-ridden henchman credit for his atrocities - he worked hard on those.

(Plus we literally already know the first authoritative figure in piracy he got round two of Daddy Issues and his fucked up ideas about piracy from. How many symbolic fathers pushing him in dark directions does one man need to kill / be visited by in purgatory / watch die before he can start addressing those???)

[iambicpentameterhamster]

Every umbrella academy character ranked

Prior to Season 4 coming this year, thought I'd share my character rank with you for the first 3 seasons all together. (Spoilers ahead)

#33- Marcus, Jayme, Alphonso and Fei

Painfully insignificant and underdeveloped. Their only character traits being "spoiled and a bit evil" made them EXTREMELY captivating villians...

#32- Christopher

Only higher because I find the idea of someone carrying around a cube on a stick onset really funny.

#31- Sparrow Ben

Hard to watch honestly, especially in comparison to his lovely counterpart Umbrella Ben.

In general, the Sparrows were terrible and pointless characters, and clearly the writers knew this because most were killed off pretty quickly. All except for Sparrow Ben, which just meant we had to suffer watching him for even longer.

#30- Viktor

This is a controversial choice. He is tolerable in season 1, but then just becomes a moochy emo sod who is boring to watch. I don't know if it's the acting, script or both, but he’s just such a meek and flavourless character who is PARTICULARLY bad in season 3 when he jeopardises his whole family and is repeatedly selfish and has a victim complex.

#29- Luther

He caused the apocalypse in season one and you can't convince me otherwise. Got some alamaba shit going on with Allison...

There are so many reasons I hate Luther. He's a self-centred man child who couldn't care less about his siblings and their feelings, showing zero empathy to Klaus or Vanya, for example. He only shows respect and kindness when he is attracted to the person (As shown when seasons 1 and 2 he is only nice to Allison, then completely ignores her when he moves on to Sloane) or when they pose as an authority figure to him. All he does is whine and feel sorry for himself.

What's that? You lived in the apocalypse all alone for 40 years? You are addicted to drugs and lost the love of your life in a war? You have a power you can't control and a lifetime of rejection? WELL LUTHER WENT TO THE MOON

#28- Carl Cooper

Hated him as a character but he was a menacing villian which I can respect

#27- Harlan

Couldn't care less about him, only there for plot convenience and Victor's arc pretty much

#26- Sloane

An improvement from Luther's literal sibling. Further evidence that Luther will simply fall for any woman who gives a flying fuck about the moon.

Personality: attracted to Luther

#25- Pogo

Basil exposition of the first series

#24- Detective Patch

Barely remember her

#23- The Swedes

They were kind of goofy as villians but there was some good acting and they posed a real threat. Cute moments with the cats. In general, alright, but they could have easily been replaced plot wise with something more interesting.

#22- Cha Cha

Lack of character development for me. I think she deserved to be fleshed out more, I don't think it's fair that only her partner got to be a three-dimensional being. What are her motivations? Who is she underneath it all?

But overall i liked the acting and she was a good villian.

#21- That hotel worker from season 3

He's barely a character but I liked his sass so he's on the list.

#20- Reggie (Reginald Hargreeves)

He is supposed to be the main antagonist/villian of the show, yet The Handler stole his spotlight. He's a bit too stereotypically evil and asshole-ish for me, basically twiddling his moustache and stroking a cat in a dark corner the entire show. The delivery is too blunt and that doesn't help to build the tension and mystery surrounding him as much, but if he were more complicated and cryptic in his personality it would be more effective.

This is very nit picky and overall Reggie is fine. He has some hilarious moments with Klaus in season 3 and I am genuinely intrigued about the unanswered questions surrounding him.

#19- Elliott

He wasn't a particularly important or central character but I enjoyed it when he was on screen and he played his role convincingly. He was a good comic relief in some scenes, and when he died (spoiler alert) the reactions from other characters were realistic and quite impactful. I felt for him throughout, which is impressive for less significant characters and he had a lot of depth relative to the size of his role.

#18- Destiny's children

Not a singular character, but I LOVED Destiny's children. It fit Klaus's character perfectly to have a cult and led to some of the funnies moments in the series.

#17- Dave

From the very limited moments we see with this character, a lot of personality and emotion was communicated, and I feel like we got a big sense of the character. That is down to the brilliant acting from both of Dave's actors and from Robert Sheehan that really sold this character with so little screen time.

Anyway please come back to life Dave! Death doesn't look good on you!

#16- Agnes (Donut woman)

Very sweet and I wish her all the best in life.

#15- Sissy

BRILLIANTLY acted and impactful. Stole every scene between her and Vanya.

Also, she looks EXACTLY like Sheldon's mum in young sheldon...

#14- Herb and Dot

I want to put them both in my pocket and protect them from harm.

#13- Kenny's mum

Again, barely present but I love her. She's a queen. I would go to a rave with Kenny's Mum.

#12- Stan

I love Stan, and he's a big part of Diego and Lila's character development and motivations. I hope they adopt Stan and live happily ever after.

But yeah, great one-liners from Stan.

#11- Grace

Very well acted and haunting.

Top 10 *drumroll please*

#10- Harold Jenkins (Lenoard Peabody)

Again, quite a controversial placement, but I stand by my decision. The acting and delivery of Harold Jenkins as a villain is possibly the best in the whole show. I was totally convinced Lenoard was a nice guy and I was rooting for him and Vanya, until he started dropping hints and slowly revealing his true self and losing the facade and its... it's chefs kiss. So realistic. The actor deserves an award and a standing ovation.

The writers also deserve a pat on the back for this one because he has a convincing motivation and backstory, and the dialogue is DELICIOUS when it comes to Lenoard. He is a truly menacing villain without being overtly scary and powerful and dangerous.

#9- Ray

Charismatic, gentlemanly, empathetic, loving, trusting, supportive... Ray is THE IDEAL MAN. I'm a little bit in love with Ray so I don't blame Allison.

HUGE step up from Luther, for sure.

#8- Umbrella Ben

I would have liked to see more of his character, but I liked what I did see. He loves his siblings and shows it. He is selfless and sacrifices his own existence for Vanya, he is blunt with Klaus because he cares and wants him to improve. Of course, he and Klaus are also a hilarious duo.

#7- Hazel

One of the most touching arcs that offers an insightful message about what life is for, and about Love. Beautifully acted, a very real and lovable character who probably resonates with many in some ways. Hazel is adorable and i miss him in later seasons.

#6- The Handler

I LOVE THE HANDLER MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPLAIN!!! Funny, playful, entertaining, uexpected and whimsical and yet simultaneously dark and menacing, AMAZING villian that stole EVERY SINGLE SCENE she was in. Kate Walsh was the perfect choice for the role and she played it to perfection.

A bit of trivia about the role, The Handler was originally written for a man, and when Kate Walsh got the role she insisted they didn't change the script (which, let's be honest, they would have.) She put a wonderful spin on it and it's just perfect, I wouldn't change a thing. I would 100% watch a spinoff all about the handler. Season 3 was worse than the previous two thanks to them killing her off (amongst other questionable plot choices)

#5- Allison

Allison was the only character who knew what they were doing, and honestly, if everyone just listened to Allison, there would be no apocalypse. Her storyline losing both Claire and Ray and her powers driving her crazy with power breaks my heart but is well portrayed and impactful.

She's charismatic, clever, strong, and kind. I love Allison and I think most of us do.

#4- Diego

He's stupid but in an endearing way, I find him to be so entertaining and funny, and the actor's face is like an open book. He's not show-stopping but his consistent presence just sets the mood and allows others to act off of him, while he really sells it with his expressions. He's like the rock of the show.

#3- Lila

Lila. Mi amor. Mon amour. Amore mio. Meine Leibe.

#2- Five

For several reasons:

A) He is the daddy here, Luther!!

B) That should be the only reason you need

Seriously, though, I was SUPER impressed with Aidan Gallagher and his incredible screen presence, especially at such a young age. He really embodies the character. Five is the face of the Umbrella Acadamy, and is undoubtedly the most iconic character. 10/10, two thumbs up, absolutely BRILLIANT.

#1- Klaus

No justification necessary.

[suzukiblu]

I just wanted to say I think you're really cool in the way you defend your own boundaries while also trying to see the best in people (e.g. off-topic Wednesday asks / etc.). Like you make your ask box feel like it's okay to ask questions or not worry too much about how something might come off wierdly if it's read a certain way but also you don't let people walk over you, and that balance is a fucking skill which takes effort and work.

Thank you. 🧡 I definitely do go to a lot of effort to be clear about certain things I'm cool/not cool with while also assuming the best of people's intentions if I ever get comments or questions that are phrased poorly or seem . . . well, questionable, to make an unintentional pun there, haha. I just don't wanna start shit that doesn't need started or slather bad vibes all over some poor well-intentioned random soul who just doesn't have the most immediately up-to-date/informed language or certain experiences to inform their perspective, AND all over all of your dashes on top of that. Like, we were all confused about shit and awkwardly attempting to figure out what the magic question that would explain that shit to us was at SOME point in our lives, if nothing else. You gotta remember your internal stupid kid and how bad they wanted to figure shit out without having the tools for it!! You just gotta!!!!

Like, I literally did not realize gay and bi people were a thing until I was FOURTEEN, man, I just did NOT have that context/experience as a kid. And then, like, four months later I was . . . uhhhhh I'm pretty sure literally the first kid who was publicly out in my entire very tiny "quaint lil' small town full of well-off retirees with gorgeous lawns and literally nothing for a teenager to do outside of school" high school, and at least as far as I ever knew there wasn't another one until my friggin' senior year. And I didn't figure out what asexuality was OR my gender identity until I was in my thirties, despite actively TRYING to figure those out! I just didn't know! I didn't have the word for it for so long I didn't even GET it was a thing that should have a word!

Though to be honest, I really do get way, WAY more people worrying that they're overstepping and preemptively apologizing about it than I ever do people who are actually doing anything I'd personally consider to be overstepping, and I get even fewer people who are INTENTIONALLY overstepping on top of that. Like, I've been very lucky in the audience I've managed to snare/cultivate in my internet times, I very rarely encounter anyone coming into my inbox in bad faith. "Don't like/don't read" seems to be generally respected and I appreciate it, basically, hah.

Also, like, not to get too extra or serious here, but a lot of the reason I write fanfic is because it can contain a lot of things that standard publishing is less immediately open to releasing--like, especially back when I started, it was just NOT a thing to have explicitly queer kids in mega-popular mainstream YA series or all that much gender/racial/neuro diversity past, like, token presences that were at MOST only diversity-CODED half the time anyway and "didn't like labels". And like, that bugged me a LOT as a kid and as a young adult, and still kinda bugs me sometimes these days. I wanted, you know, that SEEN feeling, and I didn't want to only get it from hyper-niche genres/authors that were only writing about being queer and sad about it. I wanted that shit in my dang sci-fi and fantasy and all the FUN stuff, not just, you know, the tragedy-porn cautionary tales. So I want people who are reading my stuff to feel that way, even and ESPECIALLY when they're some totally different flavor of whatever we are from me, and so I REALLY try to be inclusive and welcoming and assume the best of people, at least to the best of my ability.

. . . okay I got kinda carried away with this answer, maybe, haha, but tl;dr: literally everyone has got enough bullshit going on in their lives, I can at least be nice about weird kinks and random gender/mental/physical/???? issues that I don't always necessarily understand the full nuances of on the internet.

[olderthannetfic]

Honestly, instead of (only) blaming the author… I'd rather like to ask: What the fuck was the publisher thinking? And where the fucking was the sensitivity reader? I constantly see talks about sensitivity readers for books with controversial and historical and cultural content, especially it features front and center. So where was one?

Let's pivot for just a moment here.

The publisher is Random house, which does have a catalogue of queer and poc writing. With how much shit these two groups experience in publishing, you'd expect there to maybe be extra support or something, at least when it comes to putting the metaphorical foot in your mouth after stepping on a figurative controversy landmine.

Why the fuck did they let any of that slide, and only NOW doing damage control? Did they think that Oh the author's Chinese, why bother? There are several parts that hit you during reading, and this should have been caught, and either been removed or edited to not turn into a complete pitfall. Don't make me mention the advertising.

I've literally never met a person who knew everything of their own ancestral history, or was completely accurate in what they knew. Even people who've lived through history don't know everything. Why do people believe that immigrants do? Speaking from personal experience as well.

I personally don't even think it's bad she wanted to write about that, and did it for her family.

But wasn't there a moment they went: Ok... wait. We respect you wanna write this, but... this could really end badly because of the actual historical weight. How about we have a few history and sensitivity readers check it over? Maybe the act of human experimentation of your own people shouldn't be put in a scenario where the FMC immediately after thinks about wanting to kiss the lips of the green eyed guy ordering said experimentation. Maybe it isn't going to work that well if you already told people that this is based on the real historical slaughter of humans in the 1930-40's?

Where was the editor in this? The sensitivity reader? Was there no one who said, ok wait stop. Is this written in a way that doesn't completely crash the car?

I just wanna take the publisher and shake them. I want to shake them and tell them that nobody's infallible, and that yes, even writing about your own history, culture and ancestry can end up with a lot of bullshit when you don't know better. What's the point of a publisher if they help you when it's too late to fix it? Ancestral history also doesn't mean you have free reign, and everyone else, your people included, shouldn't get an opinion. This isn't someone writing a name wrong by a letter, or accidentally writing the wrong dish as the national dish of a country. Where the fuck was the publisher in all this? Especially for a debut author!!!

God, fuck publishers for real.

--

I'm not really up on what's going on behind the scenes at big publishers these days, but I have the impression that one of their tactics in recent decades is just to find a lot of very youthful debut authors who will feel aspirational for the target audience (while also inciting a lot of jealousy, naturally), do very minimal editing of their manuscripts, and let anybody who doesn't hit it out of the park on the first try disappear into obscurity.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I'm not sure how much you keep up with Percy Jackson and its spin-offs, personally I like the series, but my G-d it is NOT an accurate portrayal of Greek mythology whatsoever, as I'm sure you're aware! Did you know that Rick Riordan set it in the USA because of how great western civilization is and how Western countries are more relevant to modern society? I'm not even joking or exaggerating.

Honestly, I do think that putting the gods in US America can be justified for the right reasons. I don't think there's anything inherently offensive about the Underworld being under LA or Olympus being above NYC. Especially with the demigod camp being on Long Island, like, okay, you wanna keep the gods close by. It's a story about an American middle-school boy, so yeah, it'll be very American. That's fair.

But the reason the author gives for it is so offensive! If this was a story about, say, the Egyptian gods, more people would understand why "west is best" is an offensive thing to say, but I guess it doesn't matter when the gods/culture being adapted is white passing enough or whatever the fuck.

(Tbfh even if he'd said that about, say, the Norse gods, or something else that is undeniably white, it'd still be disrespectful as hell. America-centricism is so fucking exhausting!)

It's actually disappointing bc, even though the books aren't true to Greek myth (don't even get me started on how badly they portray Hades and literally blame him for WWII and imply Hitler is his son), they've gotten so many kids interested in greek mythology. Oh sure, there's some weirdos who read the books and claim to worship whoever their "godly parent" would be, but there's even more people who truly got so much knowledge and respect for actual mythology from the books! And as terrible as the Greek representation is, the other representation is done really well, especially in neurodivergency/disability. I obviously wish he'd handled race/ethnicity (and religion) better, but for all the 'offensive' stuff that exists in the books there's also so many great things. So many different portrayals of love and friendship and bravery.

It's honestly no wonder the books are still a comfort series even for those who have outgrown them, and it makes the offensive stuff even worse, almost like a betrayal in some way. It's not like Rick Riordan is going out of his way to be a fatphobic antisemitic TERF like some other YA fantasy authors out there. He's someone who seems to actually care about representation in his work, which makes it all the times more hurtful when he *doesn't* care or when he writes stuff like that.

ooooh yeaah I unfortunately know all this and have posted about this 4-5 times already 😂 An extremely imperialistic view, this author has. But in this USAmericanized world, people need to do some deconstruction to see the fucked up aspects of these books. I wouldn't be opposed to seeing the Greek gods in other countries in general but the reason they went to the US is very problematic - and I don't throw this word around easily.

As you said the series has good stuff too and it has brought joy to many kids worldwide (me included), so anyone who likes PJO don't think that I'm shitting on it too much 😄 But there are definitely some things to be addressed there and that we should discuss. Like how the attitude of the writer only continued the sense of entitlement and ownership the West has over Greek figures. And because Riordan usually cares, it's sad that he let his cultural biases define his most popular series.

[thousand-winters]

(So sorry if you got this already tumblr has been eating my asks recently gahhh)

In my head, there's this very angsty scenario of how things would play out between Darius and Hunter in the aftermath of All The Shit, where Darius basically pushes Hunter away because of his own internal guilt over how he treated Hunter during his time in the coven, not necessarily because he just feels bad about it, but because he recognizes that if he and Hunter get closer, Hunter would not allow himself to get mad at Darius for his bullying and dismissal -- the same way Hunter never allowed himself to get mad at Belos. And Darius would think Hunter deserves to be able to get angry at him, (projecting his own anger at himself, of course), so he puts distance between them in the hopes that Hunter would eventually be angry at him for the things in the coven. And poor Hunter would be so lost and confused about it -- he thought they were getting closer, that they were friends. It would take a stern talking to from one of the unexpected parents (Eda, probably) or just a smack upside the head from Camilla to set him straight again. "Darius, it doesn't matter what you think might not happen -- he's made his choice already. He wants you. And if you make him feel safe enough, whether he gets mad at you initially won't matter either, because he'll feel safe enough to deal with it eventually."

(No worries!!! Tumblr is so wonky sometimes)

Oh, my goodness, I love that.

Something I really love to play with when it comes to Dadrius early dynamic after the finale is that it can be such a mess of misunderstandings because Hunter doesn't feel like he's quite enough (right enough, worthy enough, normal enough) to be someone's child, while Darius doesn't feel prepared to be someone's parent, let alone Hunter's, which is so ironic because I think for Darius part of that doubt would come from the fact he's perhaps the adult who knows the best how much help Hunter will need and the one with the best idea of the extent of the trauma he suffered while at the castle, which means to him it feels like a more daunting situation; he does NOT want to mess things up when Hunter is currently in a bit of an emotionally fragile estate.

This would definitely play a big part here because Darius, who knows Hunter used to justify what Belos did to him because they were family —for the most part Hunter probably didn't realize some of the treatment was messed up, but when he did, he learned well to find excuses for Belos—, knows very well too how Hunter tends to let authority figures he even just remotely admires or respects walk all over him (he did that himself once, after all), and while that's definitely something that can be unlearned, he would be afraid that his own actions back then might influence too much how things go now. Especially because I think that while obviously he made up for that, at the time Hunter was a bit like a wild animal you don't want to scare by offering too much human decency at once 😭 He couldn't say "hey, Hunter, it was a bit fucked up of me to project my grief on you and insult you, you are not responsible for other people's, especially adults, emotional troubles" or else Hunter would have been jumping through the window.

So because he had to work slowly through Hunter being comfortable and not weirded out by being treated kindly and taught some level of boundaries, Darius could feel like Hunter might have a skewed vision of things and might think it's okay if Darius mistreated him, and while that might be sort of true, it's no more so than how Hunter is with any other adult with power over him.

Poor Hunter just feels like Darius was kind to him to the extent of making sure he was safe and out of Belos' reach and now he doesn't give a damn about him... and why would he when Hunter has nothing to offer? 😔 With Camila things were temporary, and with Belos he had to earn his place, so he can't just expect Darius to want him around forever or at all without doing anything for him, right? So he probably wouldn't even try to insist one bit to Darius, he would respect that distance.

Hunter and Darius are truly such a pair, out there thinking the worst of themselves and creating a conflict where there's none.

I figure Eber would be the first one to try and talk some sense onto Darius, and then probably Eda or Camila or whoever Hunter is staying with for now, since then Darius would not only have the objective view of things from Eber, but also a glimpse of how Hunter is feeling, which is very important if he's assuming that Hunter is just gonna forget their bond and thrive somewhere else if he just tries hard enough.

There's definitely going to be such an awkward period after this too, I think the whole "you can be angry at me" matter would have to be one of the firsts they tackle considering how much it escalated. Darius might not be so convinced at first, caught up as he is in his own self-doubts, but it would be very good for Hunter for his parent to say that to him, since it already shows from the first moment that this isn't going to be any kind of dynamic of servitude or anything of that sort. And you know, Hunter might not even mind that much what happened at the coven because he understands how that environment can make you angry and spiteful, and the kindness Darius showed afterward was very significant to him more than a simple apology would, but ironically he might be upset at Darius pulling his whole distancing himself move.

Not exactly how either of them expected things to go, but they can work with it, and seeing that it won't be a deal breaker will help them form a stronger bond because they know they don't have to walk on eggshells around each other... as far as it comes to this matter at least. There's quite a lot both of them have to learn.

[ofstormsandfire]

Do you have any good BotW/TotK fic recs? Yours or other people’s!

Boy howdy DO I.

Going to preface this by saying that I have preferences, and those preferences tend to veer towards gay shit and people who don't initially get along ending up ride or die, and as such a high proportion of these are going to be Revalink.

Anyway. The fic that got me into that ship, changed my brain chemistry, and is a large part of why I go !!!! about ghosts (literal and nonliteral) haunting the narrative, characters with amnesia who are supposed to be dead, and the Rito as a whole, is Pinesong by aperplexingpuzzle and that is the fic that makes me go "if you read NOTHING else in this fandom read THIS holy fuck."

(But also you should be reading other things too, because there is so much good shit and I adore it greatly I go back to reread my favorites regularly. Also check out the authors I mention apart from just the fics I link there is so much good fic I'm forcing myself to just pick one per author or else I will be here literally all day.)

Next up: Moonlight (every single night) by Heleentje. Do you like time loops? Do you like characters slowly, painstakingly figuring out how to get it right? Did you get very attached to Revalink from the last fic? how about some ~queerplatonic Zelink~ in this trying time?

Frankly, it is very hard to pick just one fic by Ginneke, they've got so many good ones but I'm going to have to settle on Flowers from your Beloathed, which is another Revalink fic set before the Calamity where, y'know, Revali is getting flowers from a secret admirer. Except he's Revali. Hilarity ensues and I enjoyed the hell out of this one ^-^

Also also. Come Morning Light by misscoconi. Post-Calamity, they are both idiots (affectionate) and I am starting to realize that I have a bit of a pattern in my taste in Revalink fics. Huh. I'll unpack that later actually.

Skybound Wishes by Baddrummer is unfinished (unlike most of the fics I've recommended here) but y'all. Y'all it makes me lose my shit in so many ways because I am a SLUT for creative fix-it fics and gratuitous weaving-in of references to other games in ways that still respect the established canon but respect all of it, y'know, not just doing the TOTK thing of "actually nothing pre-BOTW matters anymore and neither does BOTW lol."

...I am starting to realize there may be a reason why I don't have a lot of TOTK recs. Also if this post is starting to sound unhinged and disconnected that's probably because I'm bouncing between Tumblr and studying for one of my finals like a ping pong ball.

But I do have one really, really big fic rec for TOTK. Y'all should check out Show Me the World Outside by IllusionOfDeath. The Sages get to do things, the Divine Beasts don't just vanish without a word, the Champions get actual recognition, and you can tell that the author is the Linguistics Georg (affectionate) of the fanfic world.

Anyway I think I will shill myself a bit too since you gave me permission to anon! If you read no other Zelda fics by me, may I recommend no one ever mentions fear, a fic that... it really was, in a lot of ways, a love letter to the fics in the fandom that I'd read and loved before. You've got the Champions getting to live and have nice things, you've got Revali being a dumbass (affectionate), you've got gay shit, you've got Problems Being Caused by the Yiga Clan in the background.

...Oh god this post is getting. A little longer than I meant for it to I've realized. Um. I love fanfic and tbh if you end up reading everything I've recced and still want more, my bookmarks on AO3 are public and I tend to bookmark just about everything I've read and liked enough to want to find again.

......I should probably get back to studying now but thank you for the ask! I like rambling lol

[sisislair]

Continuing my TGCF re-listen/read, and fuck. Shit.

The first time we encounter Jun Wu after now knowing everything that happens is so sickening. There's this obvious camaraderie and banter that they have, it reminds me a lot of how I acted with some of my favorite teachers in school. The ones who were in charge of clubs I went to, and would sometimes give me a pass on assignments being late because they knew I did good work. I still had to be respectful, but there was a little of the backtalk that was acceptable from being a favored/gifted student.

(just realized Xie Lian gives me a lot of gifted student burn out feelings, aughhhh.)

Like, I can feel how even with the banter, Xie Lian really respects Jun Wu and wants him to be proud of him. He's so eager to do any task that Jun Wu asks of him. This is someone who supported his first ascension after all. Especially in the face of his father's wishes for him to remain crown prince at the time, I know that he must have latched onto Jun Wu as being one of the only authority figures in his life who he trusted.

The first thing he does is apologize for the wounds he inflicted on Jun Wu during the mock battle of his second ascension. One of the first things Jun Wu does is chide him for not keeping contact. When we know that Xie Lian did cry out for him, but he ignored him in order to try and mold him.

With reflection, you can definitely tell that he's trying to steer Xie Lian away from Hua Cheng, and there's something about the way that he recreates and gifts and exact replica of Xie Lian's old palace to him without asking him first that sits wrong with me. Maybe it's because it's in tandem with a dig about Xie Lian's living situation at Puqi shrine.

It makes my skin crawl, because he definitely feels patronizing, enough so that Xie Lian comments at least once that he's not nearly as naive as Jun Wu seems to think he is. He's lived through a lot of suffering, and has 800 years of experience and decisions behind him. It's uncomfortable how Jun Wu treats him. Especially with the foreknowledge that so much of Xie Lian's initial suffering and hard learned life lessons where at Jun Wu/Bai Wuxiang's hands!!! How dare he act like Xie Lian is still that boy of 17, when he is the one directly responsible for most of Xie Lian's suffering?

Just reading through it that first time and thinking, wow, it's nice that someone in the heavens from Xie Lian's past seems to genuinely care about him, even if they don't seem to understand his current self all that well vs listening to it now, and knowing exactly what this man has done to Xie Lian. My heart kind of leaps out of my throat everytime he touches Xie Lian.

Like I remember reading through the first time and thinking that something about this conversation and the way he treats Xie Lian/the way Xie Lian reacts to him makes me feel uneasy. And to be right about that at the end was still way more horrifying than I thought it would be.

[toxicroyjamie]

ok for angst then: do you think roy ever unintentionally scares jamie? bc as much as roy ISN'T james tartt, he is an older man with anger issues, a history of violence, who is constantly telling jamie what to do / how to play. and i say unintentionally not only on roy's behalf but also because jamie DOES trust roy so so so much, IMO, but his body's reactions might not always listen. how do you think they'd deal with that situation?

Ooh great question. Going to try to express myself as best I can here because I know this is a hotly contested topic

Personally, I don't think Roy reminds Jamie of James very much if at all. There are superficial similarities, but Jamie's relationship with Roy is so different from his relationship with his father that I don't get the impression that he sees them as analogous in any way.

For one thing, Jamie does what James tells him to do because he's "fucking terrified" (as he says in Mom City) of him, which makes sense, because grew up knowing that he'd be assaulted if he didn't do what James told him to do. Jamie's obviously not scared of Roy - he spends the entire first season disrespecting his authority as captain, calling him names, and starting physical fights with him, which he wouldn't do if he saw Roy as a threat. His devotion to Roy comes from a place of respect rather than fear, which creates a completely different dynamic than the one he has with his father. Jamie knows that Roy is very talented, very experienced, and has his best interests at heart (unlike James), and he freely agrees to let Roy train him on the basis that he believes Roy legitimately has something to offer him. He describes Roy telling him what to do/how to play as "motivating" and "encouraging" because it's something he actually wants and benefits from

Wrt the yelling, I don't think it really bothers Jamie all that much in the context of the workplace. There's a scene in the locker room where Roy is cussing everybody out at the top of his lungs and Jamie is standing right behind him laughing lol (and ik people think that was a character break but Phil says it was scripted and I Believe him). Jamie's spent his whole life in men's sports, and I'm sure he's plenty used to being yelled at by coaches. The only time Jamie has a visceral reaction to yelling is when Ted is telling him off about practice in Two Aces, and I think that's because he sees Ted as a father figure on a personal level in season 1

HOWEVER Jamie almost definitely has c-ptsd, and I think Roy has certain habits that could trigger him in some situations. For example, there's a scene in "headspace" where Roy and Keeley are fighting and he storms out of the room, shouts "FUCK," and slams something (which James does in "the hope that kills you"). I think that's the kind of thing that would be problematic in a relationship with Jamie moreso than the training stuff

The best option would be for Roy to talk to Dr. Fieldstone about it, and I think at the point the s3 finale left off, that's exactly what he would do. He'd probably feel incredibly guilty and I think he's at a point where that would drive him to commit to finding better coping mechanisms.

They'd also have to have a conversation about it of course. Set boundaries. "I love you but you cannot walk around here slamming doors and breaking shit that isn't okay with me" etc

[swimmingclass1978]

About me (it pretty late but what ever) :

- so my name is Ariel / Ane 😃

-im a minor if i ever follow your page and you have some nsfw content then dw it was either an accident or i followed you bc of some regular looking post

-your honor im just a silly guy when it comes to the ghostface mask on women (or particualarly hot men)

-im so desperate for a girlfriend its not even funny

-loyal to one mutal and the other one is low key just there lol

- james/remus/barty kinnes im waiting please notice me

-this is basically a call for help lol

-a hellenic pagan but its new so let me be, no convering christians allowed

-Lady Hecate devotee❤️

-slytherin/ravenclaw but if i like you then im giving kinda griffindor energy? Tho i get tired easily and my social battery is lasting max of an hour, in the end of the day im a slytherin bro all the creepy shit i know is proving it

-I'm fine with any pronouns really but mostly he/she, they is also great but she has a special place in my heart even tho i hate it sometimes and he makes me want to scream and giggle

-so im a girl kisser and ace but i don't think i would date amab people. Its nothing personal just my preference but it also depends. (Idk why i put it here its kind of personal need for me to say)

-my favourite colour is green, but like deep green or like dead green not neon green and i also love deep red and black OH AND PURPLE BECAUSE I SAW A DORCAS FANART IN PURPLR AND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

-im a yapper here but irl i don't talk much

-i love love LOVE true crime, canibalism and necrophilia like if you ever gonna ask me how bodies decompose and then listen to me yap im gonna marry you without questions, with the respect to all the victims and their close ones. no one should have been harmed,

-my natice language is polish but i also speak english tho its not as good as i wish it would be. Im also learning spanish (DO NOT ASK ME ANYTHING IN SPANISH ITS SHIT) and im learning latin on duolingo (i blame donna tartt). I also took german for 2 years (can count to three) and japanise for a year (can onlu introduce myself)

-im obsessed with collecting little animal figures/plushies and giving them names????

-i love reading and all the crafty things like painting, drawing and diy and id love to learn book binding one day even if my printer doesn't agree with me (update: i've binded my own fic it went at least bad)

-im also a poet and a writer so i suffer from creativity more times then id like to but i unfortunatelly love it all too much 😔 i don't publish my poems bc i fear they are not very good but i wish to be a published book author one day

-if you are a hater or use any of these tags: anti <character/ship name> or pro <character/ship name> or you are a canon fanatic who can't stand people having fun then dni bcz i dont want any of your toxic bs on my blog or in my dms/asks thank you very much

- if you want to share you homo/transphobic bs then get out and never come back

-adhd

-im a sucker for good no voldy hogwarts jegulus aus tbh, amd anything that contains slytherin skittles or black brothers/sisters, i love them

-i'm an attention seeking whore when it comes to comments under my ao3 fics im not joking when i say this

-classic literature enthusiastist and Balladyna lover literalnie to moja zona wdym ze ona nie zyje? Zyje w moim sercu

-i hate waking up but i love staying up all night we exist

- jestem na humanie i imo to widać, bo ostatnio zapomniałam jak obsługuje się pierwiastki. Nie wiem też co autor miał na myśli więc chyba jestem w piździe everybody

Fandoms:

-marauders - ao3 hates to see me coming

-greek mythology

- percy jackson

-good omens, i love them but considering things that have been happening then i dont think we will be getting seson 3 anytime soon :((( (update: nail count your fucking days and pray i won't finf out where you live)

-the poppy war thrilogy (started reading age 9 and kinda reggret it but happily it didn't caused me as much of my mental health as i thought) (dont repeat my mistake tho) (i'm weird now)

- bsd but i cant remember all the names yet I know whats going on so its fine

-TPN in every daydreaming sesion i gotta do an au someone as the main 3 its an addiction to amgst at this point. Also im making a petition on recreating season 2 so it will follow the manga

-The secret history and dps my friends hate me in atumn because of those two

-LAPVONE I LOVE IT

-low key papierz polak aż trudno uwierzyć, że polski fandom się nie poddał po 2021

-WIELKI PROSTRACJA BELIVER JAKBY PROSZE WAS GŁOSOWAŁABYM NA NIĄ W WYBORACH PREZYDECKICH 🧍🗣

FAVE MUSIC ARTISTS/BANDS: Mitski, Dawid Podsiadło, Radiohead, Gigi Perez, billie eilish, tv girl, i fear that a bit tyler the creator and chldlish gambino since its winter again (i only listen to him in winter???), the hazbin hotel soumdtrack....?, CZAPEL ROAWR 🗣🗣🗣🦅🦅🦅🦖🦖🦖

FAVE FILMS/BOOKS/BOOK SERIES': Dead Poets Society (book and the movie), 10 things i hate about you, Chłopi (movie and the book), song of the achilles, illiad, lapvona, seven hisbands of evelyn hugo, balladyna kochana moja, prolly more idk its late now,

FAVE CELEBRITIES: Timothy Chalalamele, ATJ, maciej have to, doda, anne hatherway(?), gosia (matka z rodzinki.pl), chapel roar, jezu no nie wiem ethan i andy,

HOBBY: drawing, painting, reading, writing, crocheting, diy, watching edits, baking & cooking, listening to podcast, thrifting, collrcting random items, talking to myself, reading fanfiction and probably more but i forgot, cóż mogę rzec, no człowiek wielu talentów

Current body count: seven kids in my basement, three burried in my garden (i do not have a garden)

I can be very funny believe me 🙏🙏🙏

Im also a charlie kirk hater and a feminist full of hatered (i will judge)

I do not know math but my esseys and creative writing works are amazing (at least i've heard) (from my mama 😃)

Kins: Regulus; Sirius low key but its pretty minor (i wanna be him); Pandora; sometimes Barty?; dorcas AND marlene (i dunno how bro it just happened) (pick your favourite gay)

Im happily married to jegulus twilight au with reg as bella that got abandoned in february 2024 (UPDATE: one chapter was added a month ago we are so back) and to a demon james/human regulus au that is still ongoing but id let it tear me appart and i would apologise to the author( im talking about The Devil Tastes Devine by TheBiButterfly on ao3 (it has me in a chokehold tbh)) and to OTB by @solmussa (hi *shy*)

Ships: jeggy, wolfstar, dorlene, pandlily, marlily, emmary, rosekiller, bartylus, pancas, marylane, lilylane, any marauder lesbians, nobleflower, quillkiller, teddromeda, poppy x minnie (i forgot their ship name), evanreg, jarty, kinda rosekiller + lily, rosestarkillerchaser(any variant of them really), moonwater, percybeth(is that their ship name?), solangelo, (shin)soukoku, any legal lesbian ship thb, i also liked jily in the past but the toxic shippers ruined it for me :( i still love her tho thats my wifey

My ao3 fanfic:

there is a light, i feel it in me: COMPLETE, black brothers angst, jegulus, wolfstar +more, trauma healing, angst/fluff, everything pandora and barty are doing is great i do not make the rules

there is no time; we are all gonna die: blacl cousins angst, Narcissa Black Centric, no beta we die like the blacks, hurt/no comfort, basically idgaf if you dont like the characterisation im just being realistic

Face reveal (bros gonna be blinded by the face card frfr):

Im also a proud owner of this justin biber ahh haircut I thought it was a wonderfull idea few months back and i do feel the best in my skin i've ever felt since my dysphoria went almost 2lvl down but no one want to talk to me at school now i think its not very nice of them tbh im a great person sometimes

Thats all lol have a good time or whatever

[carmenized-onions]

Chapter 11 cheffff

i’ll try to keep the quotes a bit shorter this time to not kill people’s feed

“Respect him, Chef.” - it’s so over

“He’s bein’ a fuckin’ creep.” - RICHIE I LOVE YOU SO

“N’ what the fuck are you?” - . . . this fully broke me. this is just so- poor richie omg🥺😭

“Cause I’ll fuckin’ tell you” - I beg you don’t. this has actually hurt me more than anything

I bet since she forgets the note it’s actually going to be something kinda nice (like him being hppy with the dish cause duh why wouldn’t he), well sweeps was bothered but maybe he didn’t read it. idk i’m holding out hope!! or it’s super important and now they’re fucked … either way we trot along!

there will also be some things i won’t comment on cause i’m sure people will react to them. i’m trying to not make you repeat too many things aye?

“You’re excused.” - oh this would have me swinging. well not really cause i’m a wuss but

“Say what you wanna say, Carmen.” - she’s so much stronger than me fr i would be crying

“you failed Mikey” - oh. yeah idk if they can come back from this tbh. it was nice while it lasted. we gave it a good run.

His middle name is Anthony. Tony. - okay this is actually hilarious tho. and the contrast to what else is happening disjjs. only you author, i swear

Gone. Devoid. - 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

i mean yeah he’s sorry but looking in his eyes and seeing that won’t make anything go away. like idk sometimes there’s a limit to how mean someone can be even if they don’t mean what they say yk?? like control your emotions a bit and that

“How could you fuckin’ say that shit to Chippy—” - richie i love you i love you i love you

“To Richie.” - she’s so- the nicest ever wow

yeah i figured the invoice thing when she said it was complicated. but dang that’s still-

DAMN THE DIDNT TELL HER WHICH BROTHER. you’re so smart

HOLY SHIT THE CREEP ASKED FOR HER NUMBER. GROSS GROSS GROSS. RICHIE PUNCH HIS FACE

At least get him a star, if he has to hate you. - i’ll cry

“I’d still love you, even if you weren’t helpful. By the by.” - this man is everything

“Man… You were here.” - they’re crying, i’m crying, we’re all crying

“You wanna see a Taylor Swift concert wit’ me?” - SHUT UP HE IS SO CUTE. i’d do anything with him (friend stuff)

He kisses the crown of your head. Richie must be a good dad. - most definitely. i love these two so much rah. my fave duo

“We can only hope.” - LMAO SJFJJD i needed that to help ease the angst

Never know when you’re going to need a fire. - ayo?? i’ve actually considered multiple times to carry one just in case someone needs it

Entirely forgot, about the wedding gig - ME TOO SHEHDJEJ oh my we’re not away from the drama yet i see

so you don’t get second hand smoke. - he’s so cute and this is everything to me because second hand smoke is like the worst thing i know and last week i was trapped between so many smokers and it was the worst

“You gotta get your star, Squid.” - so cute. squid getting her star(fish)

“Bitch—” “Heard.” - LMAO best call and response

“Heard, Chip.” “Heard, Ink.” - CUTEST

OH SHIT NOT THE ONE BLACK PLATE

“I know you said I’d be a perfect match for your little brother.” - OH SHITTTTTT. shut down the mikeychip allegations, as you should 😌😌 also mikey knewwww. really doing it all from beyond

Listen listen, I do the apologizing for both of us for destroying feeds YOU do it all you want, ALWAYS!!

IT'S SO OVERKDFG-- I don't remember exactly when I wrote 'Respect Him Chef' but I do remember going YEAAGGGHHH I COOKED I'M COOKIN WITH THIS ONEEE

I knew if we were gonna get into the Freezer Fight, I had to be brutal, what the fuck are you? was like, KEY hurtfulness. It immediately throws off what was a jovial vibe into something very cruel and painful--- Bah, Fuck you Carmen Bro

HEY BRIGHT SIDE-- BRIGHT SIDE HE LIKED THE DISH? SO. SO WE HAVE THAT. Sweeps wrote the note ALA the Ever's server method of passing Vibe check notes, which is why he needed that fucking smoke break. Having to play messenger for that skeeve,,,, yeuch.

no one says things the same way someone else says things !! you can always spam, love ya thoughts, always will. Anyways anyways, YOU'RE EXCUSEDBRRROOOOOO I'd get . violent.

Again, there was such a universe where Tony got violent. Like. Listen. She is a Chicago born and bred babe, she was an EMT, she's been a bartender-- Bro can prove she's a fuckin' problem alright? She can fucking swing. The 'Say what you wanna say' was very much like, the lead of line given before someone gets there shit rocked. Alas , she like,,, likes him or whatever,,,, so we couldn't,,,, sad

No one's ever commented on Carmen's Middle Name being Tony and I had to note it before someone else made fun of me for it. But I have also always loved ,,, fuck my Directing Prof is gonna be mad at me. It's somewhere in my notes, but essentially, there's this idea of Dramatic Contrast (not the actual term) but It's like, the ear scene in Reservoir Dogs, or that trumpet over the boxing match in I think,,, Raging Bull? Where basically, a very jaunty or pop like tune plays over something genuinely horrifying, basically.

I really enjoy that concept, in my own short films and writing, so Carmen going from saying like, the worst thing he's ever said, to like, oh I need to transfer outside my body-- You go funny immediately, and I think it makes everything both so much funnier and so much more painful? Just turns up the volume, on both sides. Or at least to me it does.

ABSOLUTELY!!!!! Bro will need to grovel. Bro will also need to get socked. Chippy why did you have to stop Rich c'mon man

Apologize to Richie really gets me, because it's 100% her being nice and having her boy's back, but it's also like.... She doesn't feel she deserves an apology-- And that. Man. I'm gonna. I'm gonna just take a 45 minute nap to process that fuck. At least get him a star, if he has to hate you. FUCK BRO. WHAT THE FUCK!!! I did that, who am I yelling at.

Rich and Chips whole convo was very cathartic to write-- It had been another scene that i'd imagined for a while and morphed bit by bit as i got a better and better idea of their history. And I think as more and more is uncovered in future chapters, coming back to reread this chapter will like,,, mean a lot more, in a lot of ways. I also enjoy the way it repeats that 'I was Here' from Richie in Zero Pulse. I just like,,, rah. They're so... They're just very good. And they're going to have to see Taylor Swift.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KEEP A LIGHTER YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YA NEED A FIRE!!! And fuckin being with a crowd of smokers is awful. I am lucky all my friends that are on that fuckin NIC blow that shit far from me. They're very sweet.

EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT THE WEDDING GIG AND THIS MAKES ME GIGGLE SO MUCH, I'M ACTUALLY DELIGHTED BY THE IDEA THAT EVERYONE VERY LITERALLY FORGOT ABOUT IT IN TANDEM WITH TONY, I FIND THAT SO CUTE.

STARFISSHHHHH CMOONNNN

Fun fact: One Black Plate was the original original original chapter title, back when I started cooking it up in my brain, around chapter 3. But once I got to Other Shoe and realized the devious period thing I could do, I had to go with Just Dropped. HAD TO. But One Black Plate was really good. I'll miss her.

THE ALLEGATIONSD LMAOSJOFJ I do really respect the Mikey/Chip ship, because reasonably, I could see them working. And listen. Maybe they did. WHOS TO SAY. Mikey's ghost is to say. BUT WHOS TO SAYYY

Anyways, for this lovely wonderful wrap sheet from you, and whoever braved the storm of reading this, let's see if i can find anythin worth showing you from the draft that isnt getting cut, that also isn't too spoilery

THIS IS A FUN ONE HEHEHE