#or elmo as spider-man because he’s a baby

[oysters-aint-for-me]

my father was telling me that marvel is becoming less lucrative and is running out of things to do. i don’t know if that’s true or not. but if disney is looking for IP they already own to boost the avengers……may i suggest

the muppets do marvel

[asmolguy]

Gonna make a list of characters that are so painfully little coded everything in my brain just goes “baby” whenever I watch them. Plus one caregiver. (And one real dude which feels kinda rude since he’s just like. A guy. Living his life. So you can ignore that one. But I wanted to point it out.)

Lloyd from Lego ninjago. Dude. Canon family trauma + canon forced to end his childhood early. Prime agere material. There are so many good fics of little Lloyd just littling. He’s tiny boi. So baby. So perfect.

Cole from Lego ninjago. He is. So caregiver built. I think it hurts to watch sometimes. So gentle so sweet. Get this man a child or a little or something to care for I swear. He just needs to parent. It’s in his blood and carved into his bones.

Branch from trolls. Ya’ll did you watch movie 3? The family trauma times two. The way he uses a pacifier to lock in. Someone was straight up weaving that into the fabric of his being as a character. He’s not little coded he’s little written. Plus in the show he has a little stuffie named Croco and I love that for him. There’s also some good agere Branch fics, but not enough. I need more. Pwease. He is so smol and so grumpy just everyone write him as the baby boi he deserves to be I beg.

Spider-Man but specifically for ultimate Spider-Man. Ultimate Spider-Mans Spider-Man is so stressed all of the time. He is just a teen. And he’s handling so many unruly teens. And in the later seasons when he’s handling the entirety of shield while being worried about nova. Give the boy a break and let someone take care of him. He’s both little and caregiver coded btw. I adore the fics where everyone calls him daddy longlegs because that is straight up what the last season is. Just him being a father to all these troubled ass powered teenagers while being so troubled himself. But then he’s also so little. He pouts and needs so much love and he’s scared all of the time and he is traumatized and then that one ep where that got turned into those weird chibi things the show tried to convince us were children I want to believe awakened something in him and he is now little sometimes.

Ian Hecox. Listen. I am aware that he is just a dude. Like a real guy. Who cannot be coded because he just exists. But I see. So much of myself in him. It kind of makes a part of my heart hurt that no one like every really seriously criticizes his more childish behavior (even for the bit on a YouTube video) because it makes me feel better about the small ways I slip in public or with my friends sometimes. There’s literally “everyone babying Ian hecox” comps online. His habit of saying scawed or newvous is unironically a blessing and curse since now it’s not weird if I do it but then sometimes I have to pause and be like “is this for the bit or am I slipping right now. Both? Neither?” That one tntl (#91) where they did the blind pairs (btw one of the funniest ones ever in my opinion absolute hall of famer, the fish one, burning the pool, m’lei, all incredible bits. It’s like. The video I show people to try to get them into Smosh.) and Ian puts on overalls and walks out with an Elmo and is like “I’m five” and then after the bit is over he stays in character and when he’s like “elmo…” and damien is like “yeah bud I made sure to miss him with the spit” and then Ian drags the toy through he spit and everyone in the room is just like “aww man” like everyone is truly just like Ian dude you got your stuffed animal wet. Also Anthony being able to fully pick Ian up and carry him multiple ways. If you watch the behind the scenes for the my best friend is dead video Anthony 1. Is pumped to pick Ian up. 2. Does a baby cradle with Ian more than successfully. 3. Says “I got you bud” when Ian gets nervous and Ian goes “ok” in this tiny little voice and instantly relaxes. 4. When Anthony puts Ian down Ian follows him making grabby hands and says “I want uppies”. More little Ian caregiver Anthony fics when. Except not really because again don’t really want to put any of this on real people just doing comedic bits that I happen to feel in my soul a bit too much.

And finally, Max thunderman. I mean. Just watch the show. The pouts. The frequent fake sobbing and sniffling. The fact that he needs a childhood back after Phoebe was put on a pedestal. Someone give me soft thundertwins fic where max is a little and Phoebe is a cargegiver please I need it. And I am. So bad at writing. I would love you forever and ever if you did.

[aussiellama]

Random Spider White headcannon

He is really good at maths, he's actually good at school in general but he's really good at maths

Ant: We all have our demons.

Ant, grabbing Spider : This one’s mine.

Ant: You look mentally ill.

Spider : I am. Let’s go.

Ant: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Spider : Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Ant:

Spider : I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

Spider : Stop failing.

Ant: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Ant: *Succeeds*

Ant: Dang it!

Spider : Watcha doin?

Ant: Stealing my neighbour’s cat.

Spider : Scandalous.

Spider : Can I help?

Ant,: Do you know how many bones the human body has? It's 206. We start with 369 when we're babies but they fuse. Wouldn't you want to go back? Have as many bones as a baby? What if I could help you.

Spider : Hi, yeah, what the actual, literal, GENUINE fuck does that mean?

Spider: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds.

Ant: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work?

Spider: NO-

Spider: Get your fucking shit together and act like an adult!

Ant : Think you have the wrong person but you're right.

Ant : Old people? More like fold people! *Makes an origami swan out of grandma*.

Spider: Literally what was going through your mind that motivated you to do this?

Spider: We need a plan to beat them.

Ant: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.

Spider:

Ant: Judge me all you want, I get result

Ant: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Spider: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

Ant: You disgust me.

Spider: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

Ant: Look, Spider, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

Spider, pointing at Ant: Well, you can't spell stupid without "U".

Ant: Well, there's an "I" in stupid, too!

Spider:

Ant: Damn, Spider, are you secretly cool?

Spider: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Ant: I do not.

Spider: Psst... Hey. Fucker. *Kisses you* idiot.

Ant: Hey, sweetheart! Hey dear! *Fucking decks you in the face* Angel~

Spider: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...

Ant, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

Spider: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Ant: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Spider:

Spider: Why are you eating dirt?

Ant: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

Spider: I have very high standards, you know.

Ant: I can make spaghetti...

Spider: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

Spider: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.

Ant: But what if something else happens just this one time.

Spider: Let's roleplay.

Ant: Okay. I'll be Elmo and you'll be-

Spider: Elmo?

Ant: Oh, fuck yes. Two Elmos.

Spider: Wait-

Ant: Did you know that you can't actually breathe when you're smiling?

Spider: *Smiles*

Ant: Haha, gotcha! I just wanted to make you smile!

Spider: Motherfucker

Spider: Kinda gay for a man to have dark circles under his eyes. Why aren't you getting a good night's sleep? Too busy thinking about other men?

Ant: Kinda gay for a man to be well rested. What are you dreaming peacefully about? Other men?

Spider: You smell so good.

Ant: So lick me, then.

Spider: Huh?

Ant: Huh?

Spider: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Ant: Mine just says "Ant no."

Spider: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Spider, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Ang: *half asleep* Spider, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to themself* the Queen.

Ant: Relationships should be 50/50. Spider cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Ant: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Spider: What changed your mind?

Ant: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

Ant with puppy dog eyes: I baked you a cookie... But I eated it...

Spider: Don't you ever get tired of being fucking annoying?

Ant: I desire moisture.

Spider: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

Spider: Ant, you're my best friend.

Ant: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Ant: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

Ant: *on the phone* Hey Spider, do you know my blood type?

Spider: Of course, it's B-.

Ant: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

Ant: What's wrong with you?

Spider: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Ant: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." and "Sorry, Daddy. I've been bad." both mean very similar things but have wildly different connotations.

Spider: Get the duct tape, cause I'm shutting you up for good.

Ant: When am I gonna be able to have my 100k slow burn enemies to lovers relationship...?

Spider: Stop reading fanfiction and get back to work.

Ant: Mate. You wanna go?

Spider: Yeah.

Ant: ...On a date with me-

Ant: Oh you do?

Spider: You're saying that like I fell for a cunning prank. We're literally dating, you egg.

Ant: I trained this chicken to talk!

Spider: Let's see, then.

Ant: What's a male deer?

Chicken: Buck

Ant: How much is 200 pennies?

Chicken: Buck buck.

Spider: This is stupid...

Ant: It gets better.

Chicken: It gets way better, Spider.

[weonbullshit]

Since we're forcing Seojun to watch movies/TV shows, what if Cody made him watch Blues Clues and Blue's Room (You CANNOT convince me that someone as pure as Cody isn't a Blue Clues Baby!) along with Team Umizoomi, Wonder Pets, Go Diego Go!, Bubble Guppies, Sesame Street, Yo Gabba Gabba, and Little Einsteins.

What would his opinions on them be like?

(Omg Cody is TOTALLY a Blues Clues Baby!)

He'd be frustrated at how stupid Steve and Joe are. He'd be shouting "THE CLUE IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE!" And Cody's trying to calm him down like "It's not that deep." And Seojun would look at him like 😰. And when Steve goes to college, he'd be surprised that he was qualified enough to go, but he's not gonna bash a man for pursing higher education. He clearly needs it.

He'd Love the theme song to team Umizoomi, if he hears it start he will ram his way to the TV from wherever he is to go sing along. He tries to avoid running into people though. He already knows all of the math stuff, so he's just there for the bright colors and how cute and tiny the characters are.

He'd be confused as to why Diego in Dora the explorer and Go Diego Go have different voice actors and GDG Diego wears light blue, so to ease his curiosity, Cody told him that GDG is set before DTE. He really liked the episode with the baby sea turtles and the Whale shark. Sharks remind him of Lee, because Lee also has multiple rows of teeth. (That's why he still has any).

Fucking loves bubble guppies. Nonny is his favorite with Gil being a close second. He thinks Deema is extra. His little siblings like to join him while he watches it. Kyree thinks it's weird that he likes a show for preschoolers, but he finds himself dancing to some of the songs.

Sesame street is okay. He gets frustrated with Zoey and Rocko because he thinks she's dumb. He also gets frustrated with Elmo's bad Grammer. "Why is he using bad Grammer in a show for kids? What if they pick that up?" Laughs anytime that Oscar the grouch is on screen. He's pretty sure that guy really stinks and will come up with grotesque descriptions to freak Cody out.

Not that interested in Yo Gabba Gabba, but he'll watch it if it's on. He likes how fluffy the DJ's hat looks.

Really likes little Einsteins. Quincy and Leo are his favorites. He'd never known so much about human music before watching it. Did not like the episode where the giant spider is characterized with creepy cello music. His eyes were wide open the whole time. He doesn't like bugs, at all. He will run screaming when he sees one. But will smash ants with his bare hands. Devilish earthlings.

[winterscaptain]

tali i have kind of a weird question? growing up my family never watched a lot of classic/common movies (we were FIRMLY a veggie tales house) so I have No Clue what like half of the movies you mention are? like I've never seen footloose or what a wonderful life or die hard? or practically... anything you've ever talked about :(

(also ive never seen mean girls but thats a oersonal failure cas I just. forget to watch it?)

do you have a fav/good movie i should start with cause I feel like I'm missing out on so much :(

hi honey!! you’re so valid, and i had LOTS of veggie tales experience growing up. i know you asked for one, but i went a lil ham on this list because you’ve unknowingly touched on one of my favorite hobbies

okay so i have a big list for you, but it’s in really manageable chunks!! i went to theatre school at the school that houses the Best Cinema School in the World (fight on, usc) and i have Opinions™!! 

if anyone has any other recs not on this list, drop em in the replies!!

i’ll put these in order of my preference/pop culture relevance, so it’s all subjective and idk what your taste is like, but if you have any questions im always here for you!! i’ve added a few notes and disclaimers along the way

this is a really good list to go off of, in general! 

okay so here are my top seven films that i never get tired of watching, in order.

skyfall

that thing you do

captain america: the first avenger/captain america: winter soldier

inglorious basterds*

the sound of music 

knives out

blazing saddles**

* inglorious basterds is a quentin tarantino movie, and tarantino isn’t for everyone. his films are always really bloody, intense, and rife with bad language. i don’t like him personally, but i love his work. this is, in my opinion, his best and funniest work

** blazing saddles is a mel brooks movie, and he’s REALLY offensive and inappropriate in his satire. it’s definitely an iconic comedy, but not to everyone’s taste. it’s one of those movies where you’re actually allowed to laugh at the really horrible jokes because it’s an equal-opportunity offense-fest lmao 

so here are some other genres and films that are a good foundation!

IN GENERAL!! i don’t like remakes. if there’s an older version of the movie, watch that one. trust me. 

i’ve also bolded a couple of key favorites on this list

romantic comedies

my best friend’s wedding

the ugly truth & 27 dresses (katherine hiegl movies ROCK)

sleepless in seattle & you’ve got mail (meg ryan and tom hanks own my ass)

when harry met sally

movies based on books/short stories

to kill a mockingbird

the book thief

the hunger games trilogy

divergent

chronicles of narnia

pride and prejudice (2005 or the bbc miniseries)

3:10 to yuma

based on a true story

ford v. ferrarri

three billboards outside of ebbing, missouri

moneyball

zero dark thirty

the king’s speech

black mass

apollo 11

documentaries*

ken burns’ civil war

ken burns’ baseball

paris is burning

blackfish

free solo

the hunting ground 

* please be advised, some of these documentaries cover some disturbing and distressing subjects. please engage responsibly!

superhero movies

iron man

the dark knight*

wonder woman

scott pilgrim vs the world (okay give me this one)

spider man 1, the amazing spider man, and spiderman: homecoming (all different spidermans, all great movies!

deadpool**

* tdk is really really dark, but the performances are immaculate.  ** deadpool is wildly inappropriate, so don’t take the R-rating lightly! it’s so funny though. so so fucking funny. 

teen favorites

10 things i hate about you

mean girls

she’s the man

easy a

heathers

70′s icons

jaws

monty python and the holy grail

butch cassidy and the sundance kid

star wars trilogy 

dirty harry

80′s classics

alien (technically in ‘79 but feels like an 80′s movie)

dirty dancing

john hughes movies!! the breakfast club, st. elmo’s fire, pretty in pink, sixteen candles, some kind of wonderful

back to the future

footloose

princess bride

90′s flicks

the matrix

three men and a baby

thelma and louise

pretty woman

notting hill

a league of their own

lgbt +

our own private idaho

brokeback mountain

moonlight

philadelphia

call me by your name

love, simon

some of these movies don’t get everything right. if you do choose to engage, engage critically and let the art make you feel something. 

tom hanks movies

yes he gets his own category

joe v the volcano 

castaway

big

saving mr banks

movies where the government saves matt damon

the martian 

saving private ryan

interstellar

jason bourne (technically he saves himself, but he’s still funded by the government)

war movies

fury

band of brothers

full metal jacket

the last full measure

war horse 

1917 

hacksaw ridge

westerns

django unchained

the magnificent seven

true grit

the good the bad and the ugly

a fistful of dollars

old hollywood

an affair to remember

breakfast at tiffany’s, roman holiday (audrey hepburn is an icon of the era)

any alfred hitchcock movie, but psycho and rear window are my faves

these movies don’t get everything right. they are a product of their time and often come with insensitive and unironically offensive cultural baggage. if you so choose, engage critically. you’re still allowed to enjoy the movies, just understand what’s not acceptable! 

christmas movies

it’s a wonderful life

white christmas

a christmas story

the holiday

die hard (some people don’t think this is a christmas movie. i disagree.)

the family stone

a year without a santa clause

halloween movies

hocus pocus

beetlejuice

anything by tim burton - the nightmare before christmas, the corpse bride

the shining

the blair witch project

get out

cult classics

the rocky horror picture show

the room

reservoir dogs

jennifer’s body 

point break

these are WAY more fun with friends - please quarantine responsibly, but it's so worth the wait to watch this with a big group of people.

[purplespaceace]

The six of em as little kids

Corbin:

he was obsessed with teenage mutant ninja turtles

and my little pony

he had a Spider-Man blanket he carried around from ages two to four

he had lots of stuffed animals and he slept with all of them in his bed so he didn’t hurt their feelings

he liked musicals. a lot. he would slide around the house in his socks singing them

when Anya was born they all learned sign language together. Corbin would try to come up with his own signs

he played pretend constantly

when he was five the only thing he’d eat for a month was oatmeal

before Anya was born he carried a baby doll around to get used to being a big brother

Katie:

she played pretend all the time. it would be; some version of running away from home; living in the wilderness; or war

she was obsessed with dinosaurs. all she watched was the land before time and dino dan. she had a million dinosaur stuffed animals and figurines

she watched Dora way too much so she knew a little Spanish but forgot it before she turned four because she stopped watching it

she loved animals. she wanted a dog really bad because of her cousins beagle. she watched nature documentaries

she got stung by a bee once and know she’s afraid of them forever

she would try to make up languages with her friends and she’d write down dictionaries with all the words she could think of

she created worlds and alien species all the time

she hated math and would work on drawing instead of schoolwork

she thought her third grade teacher was unfair so she planned a revolution

Morgan

she learned Spanish and English at the same time so she could speak both fluently, but she couldn’t separate one from the other

she had lots of musical toys. her mom made sure she was surrounded with music so she had toy drums and pianos and something to record her own songs on

when she needed to fall asleep her parents would drive her around listening to Taylor swift

she had a noise machine that played white noise

elmo was her thing. that and blues clues

she wanted a cat when she was little until she realized how much work they were

she wore skirts and dresses everywhere. her parents thought maybe she should wear something more practical to play in so she wouldn’t get it dirty but she refused

she loved playing dress up. she would also do her parents‘ make-up

she played computer games on nick junior while eating a bagel with her other hand every morning

Selena

she wanted to know everything. she would check out dozens of books from the library, non-fiction ones about frogs and the revolutionary war and viruses, and fiction like scooby doo, which was her favorite because they solved mysteries and had a talking dog

she loved pirates. she does not know why

she liked to make collages; she liked how the glue felt stuck to her fingers and how pieces of construction paper could come together to make art. this resulted in great Mother’s Day cards

she played doctor because she wanted to help people and she read about how doctors saved lives in one of her library books

she liked to bring her friends gifts like pebbles and cool leaves. part of the reason why she liked them is because everything had a pattern, and she liked spotting it

she always wanted a dog, but with four sisters her parents didn’t want more chaos and mess

she always thought it would be cool to live on a farm because she was a total horse girl and she thought it would be cool to grow her own food

she loved going to the farmers market with her mom because she liked seeing all the fresh produce and handmade goods you couldnt get in stores

she had a puppy stuffed animal she took with her everywhere. she was a golden retriever named spot. she did not have any spots

George

he would dress up in dresses before his dad told him to stop. when his dad wasn’t home his mom would get them out of a chest she his in the shed and they would play dress-up or princes

there were frogs outside his house because the nearby park had a pond. he would catch them and put them in cages with mud and sticks

he and his mom and his brother would go down to the pool and they would have splash wars

he loved avatar, especially aang because he was a pacifist who didn’t let his friends pressure him into compromising his beliefs

he took kind of a long tome to talk. his first word was mama

he never liked live action things

he was so excited to be a big brother when he heard they would have to share a room he cleared his stuff from one half and put together a box of toys he thought the baby would like

he had a sea turtle backpack for the longest time

he liked to play with dolls and legos, together

Noelle

she was obsessed with pandas and had her late dads panda stuffed animal she carried with her everywhere. Sargent stuffels got very dirty in their heroic adventures

she was always climbing trees even if there were bugs

she couldn’t sit still long enough for her dad to braid her hair so he tried to put it in a ponytail so maybe she would stop returning with leaves and twigs in her hair. she never returned with the hair tie

she always asked for bedtime stories of her dads in high school or college

she would build block towers just to destroy them

she almost lit the house on fire several times as a kid until she accidentally burned her dad and she understood why she couldn’t do that

she got hurt a lot because she was always jumping off of playground equipment so she was always covered in bandaids-some were pink and sparkly, some had cartoons and some were princesses

one time a kid said he bet she hit like a girl so she did hit him and he cried but her dad didn’t punish her because he said being hit by a girl wouldnt be that bad and Noelle was just proving a point

when she found out she needed glasses she got purple ones with stripes and glitter. she broke them within a week and they got contacts (he did let her keep a copy of the other pair for reading because she loved them so much)

[chroma-asks]

Out-of-Context Chroma System Quotes

(Good luck guessing who said what if you don’t already actively know)

-Motherfuckin’ Spaghetti-O rectum

-Candied baboon ass

-You wouldn’t happen to have a blow torch, would you? (Followed by) The fuck do I look like, an inventor?

-Would you care for some hot grapes…?

-Pls don’t snu-snu the puppet

-Carbonara bananas

-A meme cowboy who says “Yeetthot”

-What if we had an alter named Bacon

-Skyward Sword isn’t bad, it’s just that the boy’s nose is stupid

-Weiss needs more buttcheeks to fill in for her many assholes

-You ever sit and think that battering rams were probably actually designed to look like dicks but history books didn’t like that?

-Fuck me vibrating spider

-It has a daddy kink and hit on Cthulhu, I’m gonna call it what I want

-I put the romance in ‘necromance’

-Go eat Donald Trump’s toenail clippings

-If you say ‘hachacha’ one more time I’m ripping off your dumb nose to put ice cream into

-Hail the Irish, bitch.

-Yes, please don’t ruffle my onesie, it’s Gucci.

-Stop eating all the orange flavored candies you pathetic weenie

-That’s like eating a burrito on Taco Tuesdays

-How are you doing that you have no pupils

-So If Orion walks around without a shirt, he’s completely naked

-You know your house has thin walls when you can hear grandma farting in the bathroom

-So the plural for tooth is teeth like foot with feet. So why isn’t the plural for boot…. beet?

-Gwen puts the “tit” in “competition”

-(in reference to the crusades)Ye Olde Mosh Pit

-Considering Damon’s been harkin’ Harold’s balls all week, I’d assume the latter

-We’re going on the road to El Dorito

-61 vagànias

-What’s this, the Cryptid Lottery?

-That’s it, I’m calling CPS…….Clown Protective Services

-They are seriously playing Blurred Lines in this old people dance club

-Make your ballet shoes 99.9% better by installing syringes filled with chemo in the back

-Black holes are like the Cotton Eye Joe of space. Where do they come from and where do they go

-Wouldn’t it suck if hurricanes and tornadoes were 96% gas?

-Imagine if Vague’s name was pronounced “vagoo”

-PAKA YOU CANNOT NICKNAME JELOSE “JELLO HENTAI” I SWEAR TO GOD

-Anything is mayonnaise when you put your mind to it

-Hhhhhh smells like gonorrhea

-So wait if YOU’RE me, and I’M me, then who’s piloting the flesh jaeger???

-It’s Meat Time™️

-I dance like a freshly peeled lizard

-If I punch a blunt out of someone’s mouth does that make me a weed-whacker?

-“If we get mistaken for an anime enough do you think somebody out there might write an Mpreg fanfic about Damon” “Dear god I hope not”

-I am become symbiote

-If Naraku can also spin webs can he knit a sweater too????

-REPTILES ARE ASLEEP DO ALL THE THINGS NOW

-Beans beans the good for your heart, the more you eat the more you…… love your girlfriend

-Silence you lesser potato

-So I know beefcake is supposed to refer to really muscly dudes but what is it actually like is it a cake made entirely out of beef or is it a cake shaped like a beef

-My love for cheese is canon

-TASTEY MAN

-That really peels my grapes

-Mom said it’s my turn on the flesh jaeger

-Fish-slapping has an entirely new meaning when it’s Damon and Mero going on a date

-Hello would you like to purchase some salmonella

-You must add the phlegm

-Please don’t put your dick in the Christmas water

-The fuck is a ceviche

-By process of elimination…. you are a bitch.

-You are the Mac to my cheese

-It’s the cloaca.

-SOMEBODY HELP TORY’S BEEN HIT WITH SEXY BITCH DISEASE

-Hey just poppin’ in to let you know the Bethesda thing is happening again, k thanks I love u

-Because stabby stabby blood freezy

-sumfin smlel liek toileeeeeeet

-do you want the beesing phuckchurger or not

-I vote we get a pole cause I wanna be the Lord of the Dance 2, Stripper Edition

-don’t forget to water your Satan

-funky funky chunky chunky, monkey butter pet a bee, beep beep sheep sheep, I’m a baby don’t bite me

-No you absolutely canNOT name my theme “Icy London Icy France”

-What is a serial killer but a humble door-to-door death salesman?

-“Deep-fried for your pleasure” “Only the finest of dildas for our resident slut~”

-Take me down to the paradise city where the cows are green and the grass has tiddy

-“An all nutter” you mean a bukkake

-They gonna make us eat at home like some dirty commoner???

-What was that one Disney movie? Humpback of Notre Dame?

-There is no Iceland, only California 2, Electric Boogaloo

-What if the Earth wasn’t actually rotating, it’s all just water currents pushing the continents at a steady pace

-“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s gasoline”“what the fuck”

-What am I, a BDSM version of a Tickle Me Elmo?

-Fanmade STDs

-Naraku, or as I like to call him; Prime Minister of Sluttington

-Take my gratitude and shove it up your ass

-The inside doctor listens to your insides, the outside doctor listens to your outsides because he forgot to use anesthetics

-Like and subscribe to die instantly

-Have you accepted Beefus as your lord and savior

-Go eat one(1) entire lettuce you fuck.

-up the shut slut

-Where there’s a will, there’s a gay

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN POODLES AREN’T A TYPE OF SHEEPDOG?? THEY’RE THE SHEEPIEST LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE DOG WORLD

-I don't know if I wanna do the smashing or the mowing. Either way, your ass is grass

-Treat him gently, he’s just a meatball

-I refuse to believe I know big words

[ramajmedia]

Sesame Street: 10 Hilarious (& Adorable) Bert And Ernie Memes

As hard as it may be to believe, it's now officially been 50 years since the beloved furry little friends of Sesame Street entered our lives. Over the last five decades, adorable Muppet characters such as Big Bird, Grover, Elmo, Baby Bear, The Count, Zoe, Oscar the Grouch, Telly, Slimy, Murray, Snuffy, Julia, and many more have educated generations after generations about important life skills children need to learn.

RELATED: Best Reaction Memes To Stranger Things Season Three

Bert and Ernie have remained the series' constant. Their friendship is as strong as it has ever been, and it remains one of the series' most reliable sources of humor and heart in equal measure. Here, we're reviewing some of the most adorable and hilarious memes the internet has come up with that perfectly highlight the comedic duo's bromance.

10 Bert's banana phone

Generally speaking, Ernie can frustrate Bert far more often than not. The hilarity of their friendship is created by their Odd Couple like personalities, and in particular Ernie's childish behaviors and Bert's stuffy personality.

In this meme, however, things are momentarily flipped on their head. Bert is clearly trying to avoid dealing with yet another of Ernie's ridiculous antics, and if that means he'll have to put a banana in his ear, then so be it. Then again, maybe he just wants a phone that matches his own complexion.

9 Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Sleep?

In addition to being Sesame Street's own version of The Odd Couple, Bert and Ernie clearly often struggle with understanding each other's language, so to speak. Something that exacerbates that fact is Ernie's unflagging innocence and cheeriness, and Bert's far more world weary and sarcastic demeanor.

Take, for example, this hilarious interaction between the duo. As Ernie sings the praises of the amazing powers of sleep, an exhausted Bert is forced to indulge his enthusiastic best buddy for far longer than he would clearly like to be awake.

8 Muppet math

Sesame Street has done a lot when it comes to teaching kids basic life skills and kindergarten essentials. One of the recurring features of the series is the fact that each episode is brought to you by a certain letter and a certain number, which then go on to feature in skits and storylines.

RELATED: 10 Harry Potter & Albus Dumbledore Memes That Are Too Hilarious For Words

This meme seems like it's brought to you by the number 4, and also the number 1. The design of Muppets is a large part of what makes these characters so vibrant and adorably lovable, and it's amazing how much personality can be conveyed by four round Muppet eyes and a very, very bushy unibrow.

7 Gone fishin'

Sometimes, the simplest memes are the funniest. And sometimes, there are some memes you can just hear practically in a nanosecond. Bert and Ernie's voices are incredibly distinctive, instantly recognizable among the vast catalog of Muppets that reside on Sesame Street.

But besides Ernie's beloved rubber duckie song, and his distinct laugh, there's one particular phrase from a 1980s skit that is undoubtedly familiar to every dedicated Sesame Street fan everywhere: Ernie's adorable, hopeful attempt at calling fish.

6 Hey, those guys look familiar... kind of

We've already talked about the key role that the unique designs of Muppet puppets play into the realization of the many, many distinct characters on Sesame Street. But as this honestly jarring meme shows us, the role that design plays in creating characters really can't be overstated.

Because honestly, these guys are kind of terrifying. For some reason, the duo don't work together with their felt colors flipped, and somehow, the designs no longer match their character's personalities. Sorry, Eert and Bernie. We're sticking with Bert and Ernie.

5 Who, me?

Sesame Street might be a show designed for preschool and kindergarten audiences, but sometimes, the words of encouragement offered by the beloved citizens of the Street are even more valuable to adults. Motivational memes are a real highlight of meme culture on the internet, even if most memes are far more frequently judgmental and dark.

RELATED: 10 Funniest Reaction Memes To The Sony-Disney Spider-Man Fallout

And in this particular meme, Bert and Ernie's lessons about the letter U suddenly become turned toward the viewer as a sweet message of encouragement from everyone's favorite roommates.

4 Be honest: are you Bert or Ernie?

As we've already said, the differences in Bert and Ernie's levels of maturity and personalities are precisely what make this duo so reliably hilarious. And nowadays, in the heyday of memes being used as expressions of relatable experiences, it's not hard to see how this particular exchange became a meme.

Sometimes, it's easy to be oblivious and cheerful like Ernie, even when you're staring the answer right in the face. And sometimes, it's easy to be fed up and tired just like Bert - all while kind of feeling like, to borrow Forky from Toy Story 4's self-identifying refrain, trash.

3 I scream, you scream, we all scream for...

Sometimes, the best memes are born of puns that would normally make you roll your eyes or sigh. We like to think of these as the "dad joke" memes - memes that use humor that would never really work in any true sense of comedy, but are so endearingly stupid that they wind up getting a chuckle or two out of you.

The example of the exchange in the meme above - "Say, Ernie, would you like some ice cream?" "Sherbert." - is a perfect instance of this. And honestly, whether you'd rather have some ice cream or sherbet after reading it, you have to at least laugh a little at the cheerful look on their faces.

2 If he just ignores it long enough...

How many ways can we restate the fact that Bert and Ernie are polar opposites, and that's what makes them so wonderful together? We're not sure. But once again, that key part of their relationship is what makes this meme such a hilarious and adorable reminder of their bond.

There's no telling what antics Ernie will get up to at any given time, including showing up wearing a hat filled with fruit. But you can always count on Bert to want absolutely nothing to do with it, even if he winds up getting pulled into the adventure in the end. The look on his face here says it all, really.

1 Bert and Ernie: inventors of sarcasm

Normally, Bert is the one of the duo who could best be described as deadpan and snarky. But sometimes, Ernie's idealistic innocence winds up leading to moments that are just so wonderfully filled with sarcasm, it's impossible to not burst out laughing at them.

Take, for example, this apparent generation-defining interaction between the longtime best friends. A nicely dressed Bert genuinely asks Ernie how he looks in his suit, only for Ernie to be literal as always and inform Bert that he looks with his eyes. Ernie's right, of course, but not necessarily helpful. And even Bert's expression as he awaits the answer makes it seem like he knows what kind of outcome he's going to get, before it happens.

NEXT: Sesame Street: 10 Best Celebrity Guest Stars Of The Last 50 Years, Ranked

source https://screenrant.com/sesame-street-tv-show-hilarious-adorable-bert-ernie-memes/

[savetopnow]

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