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nightowlfandom · 3 years ago

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Kanato Sakamaki- I’m Sadistic For You

FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTS DIABOLIK LOVERS CONTENT AAAAHHH THANK YOU BESTIE! I GOT YOUR OTHER ONE AND I’M DOING IT TOO!

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

So ANON ASKS

For Kanato from DL ( I haven’t seen much done for him and it makes me sad because he’s a favorite ). (: I could Lowkey do some more if you’re not super bogged down I had another idea BUT I ALREADY SUBMITED ANOTHER BEFORE THIS SO IM NOT GONNA OVERWHELM YOU LOL but- anyway Fee free to be as nsfw with my prompts (if you do them) as you want. I dont have any triggers so- writing them super accurate and sadistic won’t bother me :3

Bruh....Jesus is my helmet...but NOT TODAY let’s fucking go! Okay readers, you heard, they aint got no triggers. So if you do...move it along.

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

Also in this you and Yui are BFFs because she isn’t some cold hearted bitch (homegirl trips over oxygen, plus I love her lol)

I was legit about to have him spit in your mouth....I’m so shameful...maybe next time.

Leggo!

I’m turning into a Yandere account and I am totally okay with that.

...

“You know living here isn’t that bad.” you mused to Yui. “When no one is talking.”

Your friend laughed as she cut up some carrots. Yui turned to look at you as she prepare to peel some potatoes. “So living here is terrible every day other than right now?” she replied.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She wasn’t wrong.

You and Yui were making dinner for the house. After a ambush that landed everyone injured except you and her (thankfully). You had offered to make soup and stew for everyone. They were all in their respective rooms healing while you had prepared everything.

“They really fought hard today, I thought Kanato was about to rip that vampires jaw off. He’s really protective of you, Y/N.” she winked. “I think he likes you more than he lets on.”

Kanato and you had a very strange relationship. He hated you, but he didn’t HATE you. No one could lay a finger on you, no one could even look at you, even if he said he didn’t care. Reiji tried to and Kanato almost murdered him.

“He then told me that Teddy said I was ugly.” you reminded her flatly. “Yeah he so cares.” you snorted.

“Maybe he has trouble telling you his feelings”

“I wish everyone was as optimistic as you.” you shook your head. “Looks like the soup is finished.”

“I’m just saying Y/N, just think about it.”

...

You only had one bowl of soup left to deliver, to Kanato’s room. You grumbled as you stood outside the door.

“Kanato? It’s me.” you knocked on the door. “I’m coming in okay?”

Before you could wait for an answer you opened the door and walked in with the cart.

Kanato was laying on his bed when you entered, groaning in what you assumed was boredom.

“Teddy, tell Y/N that I don’t want whatever she made.” Kanato turned away from you. The scars he had suffered on his back said it all. All for you...

Your recalled the terror in your voice as you had screamed for help as the rogue vampire wrapped his claws around your leg. Kanato’s name was the first to escape your lips as you had tried to crawl away to Yui. You remembered reaching out to Kanato with your strongest hand, begging him to save you.

The look in his eyes was feral as he screamed your name too, grabbing you hand and pulling you to him. You were sobbing into his chest, clutching onto him for dear life for a good ten seconds before Yui replaced him, hugging you tightly in her small arms too. Before you knew it, the rogue’s head had been thrown through a window...

...

“Y/N, Look at me! You’re safe now...you’re safe with me...”

...

“Teddy, could you please tell Kanato that while his pouting is very adorable, it won’t get him out of this?”

“Don’t call me cute! You can’t do that.” Kanato glared at you through hooded eyes. “If I wasn’t so weak I’d-”

“Well let me take care of you.” you cut him off, taking the bowl to him. “For me?”

Kanato paused, his glare softening.

“You must be in love with me if you’re so insistent on me getting better.” he grumbled, sitting up. “Y/N is in love with me Teddy!”

“Kanato.” you felt your face heat up violently. “Don’t say things like that.” you groaned.

“It’s blushing teddy, how cute!”

Kanato’s use of the word ‘it’ wasn’t new to you. In fact when he wasn’t calling you names, chasing you around with forks pretending to stab you, or worse, it was denoting you to objects.

“H-hey! I am not blushing!” you pouted. “My face just looks that way.” you lied. “S-shut up.” you grumbled.

“And what if I don’t feel like it?” he challenged, knowing you wouldn’t say a word back. You were kind of like Yui. You wouldn’t dare challenge any of the Sakamaki brothers. It was a death sentence in every sense of the word.

“Kanato, I just want you to feel better.” you looked down at your feet.

“There’s one thing you can do.” Kanato used his strength to stand to his feet. Despite his looks, he was tall, and under that cute exterior was a mean and feral beast. He staggered over to you, a sick smile on his face. That couldn’t be good, not by a long shot.

“And what exactly would that be?” you asked. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t wanna know what he was planning. You were positive that it wasn’t gonna end well either.

“Get on your knees.”

“My knees?” you repeated. “Why do you want me to-”

“Now Y/N.” he spoke over you. You felt his hand on your shoulder. “I don’t like repeating myself.” his nails dug into your skin, causing your knees to wobble under the pain. “On. Your. Knees!”

Your feet gave out, practically sending you crashing down to the floor. You looked like a dog, on your hands and knees. You appeared weak and pathetic.

You found it in yourself to look up at Kanato. Teddy was perched on the bed, ‘watching’ you two. You felt his fingertips creep under your chin.

“Aww...” he smiled. “You’re like a little...What’s the word I’m looking for...PET!. It’s cute.” He caressed the side of your face. “Too bad I kill all my pets...they can’t handle me...can you handle me, Pet?”

“Yes, Kanato.” you found yourself saying. You felt like you didn’t have a choice...

and you loved every second of it.

“Bullying you has made me regain my strength! Isn’t this wonderful?” he wrapped one of his hands around your neck. “You’re so fun to torment” he laughed.

“K-kanato.” you coughed.

“Is it hard to breath. Y/N?” he asked sinisterly, that crazed smile gracing his lips. His words were terrifying although his actions said otherwise. He loosened his grip on your throat, allowing air to flow more freely. It was those small things that made you think he didn’t hate you as much as he loved to preach.

“Y/N...when that vampire came...I thought I was gonna lose you for good this time” he said sadly, allowing his arm to return to his side. “I thought I had-...that you were gonna die.”

“You saved me though.” you replied. Kanato knelt down to your level, still slightly above you.

“Yeah...because if anyone is gonna break you, it’s gonna be me.”

“I care about you a lot, Kanato.” you finally said it. “I like you too much.” you exposed yourself. “I want you stay by your side.” you said pathetically. “Even if you hate me.”

Before you could say another word, Kanato claimed your lips in a kiss. He held the sides of your face in his hands. It was the first time he had ever kissed you. He hummed thoughtfully, pushing you down to the floor so you were laying on your back. He crawled over you, not breaking the kiss.

“K-kanato.” you whimpered.

“You need to be taught a lesson. If your gonna be my girlfri- I mean pet, you’ll have to learn.” he kissed down your neck.

Suddenly, Kanato ripped the seam of your jeans all the way up your left leg, leaving it completely exposed to the air.

“Oh look, your clothes are messed up, guess we’ll have to take them off.” he smirked. In another swift motion, your pants were torn to shreds. The fabric fell in a circle around you both.

“Teddy look! Y/N is wearing such cute panties.” he cackled maniacally. “Her naughty place is leaking.”

You trembled, waiting for him to do whatever it was he was planning.

“I heard blood tastes better when it’s from your naughty place.” he ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth. “Y/N” he moaned, running his index finger along your clothed heat. “You smelled so much better here...I just want to- ungh.”

He suddenly drove his fangs into your right thigh. You gasped, arching your back. He violently grabbed your legs, holding them down. His tongue lashed against your freshly made wound.

You could hear him whimpering, cursing under his breath.

Kanato would deny it with his life, but everything about you was like a drug to you. Tasting your blood was even sweeter than every dessert he’s ever tasted. Feeling you whimper and plea for him did things to him that would make a sailor blush.

Forget Yui, forget his brothers, forget it all.

“Fuh-” Kanato couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stop himself from ripping off your panties and driving his tongue into your most sensitive parts. Hearing you moan for him, cry for him.

The rumors were right, vampires were godly lovers. It was like Kanato knew what you wanted and where. He lashed his tongue against your heat, grabbing your legs.

“Wrap your legs around my head,” he demanded. “Not like it’s gonna kill me.” he laughed manically. “

Knock knock

“Y/N, are you in there?” Yui’s small voice caused you to panic a little. As you tried to get up, Kanato pushed you right back down, growling into your pussy,

“FUCK!” you whined, making it very obvious what you two were up to. “Kanato, I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” he grunted, not ceasing his movements. “Cum, cum for me.”

“K-KAANAAA!” you cried as you came. You thrashed and writhed under his touch, but he didn’t stop. His tongue never stopped moving. “fuh- fuck! Kanato, t-too much!”

“I said cum for me, I didn’t say I’d stop.” he thrust his fingers into you to add insult to injury. “You’re so fun to fuck with!” he spat.

“Kanato!” you sobbed. You couldn’t stop moving, you couldn’t stop thrashing. Th epleasure had gotten to you so much, you were drooling.

He finally withdrew his mouth from you, smiling evilly at the mess he left.

Kanato had grabbed one of his ties that had left on the floor and bound your wrists together.

“You look so inviting tied up for me...” he shuddered as he bit his lip. He licked his fingers clean of your blood and juices. “Good thing the night is young...because I’m not done with you.”

...

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chaislatt · 3 years ago

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WAYV AS HOGWARTS STUDENTS

QIAN KUN

ravenclaw , head boy, muggleborn

excels in every class he takes

when he first discovered he was magic, he flipped out

he had a matilda episode in his room one night

he was staring intently at his toy planes, wondering how it would be like to fly one someday

then suddenly it just?? levitated??

as an eight year old, he did the only thing he could do in such situations—scream bloody murder

first year : in his newly pressed robes and neatly gelled hair, sat at an empty compartment and started reading his textbooks

until the compartment door opened and a cat just walked over him

“oh sorry, leon doesn’t behave very well” says ten who he did not think would stick around but guess what? his cats liked him

being sorted into ravenclaw, he quickly became famous for being the smartest and wittiest most sensible? wizard of his year

he was especially great at charms got so surprised that there was an incantation to make things float, since all he has been doing is just think it (flitwick got a shock at his first year doing wandless magic)

as he grew older, almost everyone depended on him for help in everything

he couldn’t go a day walking in the corridors without someone asking to meet up at the library or thanking him because they aced their tests

but of course, this little ravenclaw had a limit

he didn’t mean to, but one day he just snapped at a poor gryffindor who kept bugging him to meet at the courtyard to practice spells (everyone finally left him alone, too scared to face the wrath of a wizard who knows all the spells for duelling)

OWLS year—the most memorable year for him, as he and ten spent nights in the library (and sometimes in the kitchen but if anyone asks only ten was in there) studying their bums off

that summer, ten just received a holler from him (surprise! he got all o’s)

naturally, he had been picked for prefect and head boy

the first years LOVED him

he taught them all the secrets to their tower and even handed them a parchment full of riddle answers, because let’s be real, even though you’re a ravenclaw doesn’t necessarily mean you want to use your head all the time

eats at the hufflepuff table because they have better breakfast items

adopted a whole assortment of kids with ten (winwin kinda just sticked around because yangyang was his buddy)

would be the boys’ go to— from pesky spells, ink blotts on their robes, th right grams for mandrake powder, they all depended on him for it

hendery was once asked why he wasn’t scared of him (knowing what happened before)

“he’s not dumb enough to duel someone because they’re bugging him. that’s why he’s in ravenclaw”

overall 9/10. minus one point because he still feels the need to get the last remark in everything.

LI YONGQIN

hufflepuff, pureblood

loves hanging out at the common room

doesn't really care much for grades, but does his best when studying

his housemates call him a sloth

moves so slow, especially in the mornings

likes taking walks along the corridors because it's fun to see other students rush and run to their classes while he walks a leisurely pace

always has his tie loosened

sometimes, he doesn't even tie it, he just wraps it around his collar and hope no one notices everyone does

has a talent for transfiguration

will turn anything into cat snacks

he once turned his homework in kibble and his excuse was "my cat ate it"

befriends all the cats in hogwarts

sometimes he lays down at the courtyard and they all just gather around him

one legendary moment (as lucas likes to call it) was when he was walking down the corrider and a train of cats just followed behind him in a single file

sweet wizard boy, befriends humans as well

he's so likeable, everyone just feels drawn to him

has this laidback energy that feels like a breath of fresh air when things get hectic in the castle

speaking of fresh air

he likes to stroll around outside, most of the time dragging yangyang and winwin out with him

"winwin could use the fresh air and your voice doesn't echo" - ten to yangyang

his sister is friends with yangyang's sister, so growing up he kind of babysat the three whenever their families would be together

he didn't imagine that it would continue during school, but poor winwin looked like he just wanted to get his head bitten off

despite having a lot of friends, he sticks with kun most of the time because he's not as chatty when he's focused (and kun is focused all the time so)

his favourite thing to do anywhere is lay down on his back and play with his wand, sending wisps of magic swirling around in the air, creating beautiful artwork

received pencils and a notebook from kun so he could just draw because "your magic might hit someone and i do not want to be involved with any of that"

doodles all the time

he likes to draw butterflies and magic them off of the paper and makes them follow his friends around

doesn't really say much when no one's talking to him, but will keep the conversation going casually

wanted to become a prefect so he could have his own bathroom

would patrol around at night with his cats (hendery jokes how he looks like filch and now he takes his filch impersonation seriously)

when catching students, he makes obvious remarks like "oh wow good to know that there aren't any gryffindors in this corridor! it would be an awful hassle to report them. good thing everyone's in their chambers!"

very lenient on students he doesn't know, but will threaten those he does and ask for something in return

accidentally gave yangyang the idea of becoming a prefect so he needn't have to worry at night

also accidentally gives yangyang dare ideas to give to hendery

he doesn't mean it! most of the time

overall 10/10. everything is cancelled out by the fact that he goes around the castle with atleast 2 cats following him around.

DONG SICHENG

slytherin, pureblood

mr frowns-a-lot, mr don’t-talk-to-me, mr i-want-to-go-back-to-my-dorm

the most stereotyped slytherin

first years believe that slytherins are scary because of him (but they immediately get debunked by hendery “you’re scared of a tall dude who gets tired from talking and likes to eat chocolate? yeah okay”)

but yes this not so little bean finds talking draining

it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but why would he have to talk about his day when as far as he knows, everyone just did the same thing he did??

you can barely get a sentence out of him

will reply with nods or shrugs and just point or look at things

only talks during class when the professors ask him questions

yangyang bugs him the most

when he got assigned to take care of this chatty, full of energy first year he almost cried

ended up just following him around and yanking the back of his robes to stop him from getting into trouble

because of this, yangyang’s friend are his friends

first got introduced to xiaojun, lucas, and hendery

ended up becoming a babysitter for four

when he met ten, he almost cried again, but now out of happiness because he got yangyang to shut up

met kun last, and immediately took a liking to him for no reason at all

no one knows how, but suddenly mr-i-dont-want-to-do-anything started getting more mischievous and talkative

the whole hall got surprised when he laughed at lucas’ lame joke

this may be an exaggeration but the boy doesn’t even smile

after this incident, lucas just kept talking to him and he just kept replying, and pretty soon the four little troublemakers would joke around with him and he’d just sit back with kun and ten when he got too tired

this made him attractive

but unlike lucas who got confessed to everyday, there was no one who confessed to him

he didn’t really talk to anyone else and just minded his own business when he was alone, so everyone was too scared to confess to him

which is a huge relief to him because the not so little bean is actually very awkward

proven when hendery accepted yangyang’s dare of going right up in winwin’s face omygod when i tell you his whole face turned red

he avoided hendery for a week until he realized it was too hard since they have most of their classes together??

speaking of classes, it’s a miracle how he just passes everything since no one actually ever sees him studying or doing homework

it’s like everything he does is magic well

overall 7/10. doesn’t really try that much and will only voluntarily hang out with kun.

HUANG XUXI

hufflepuff, halfblood

was tiny, like a little bug

no one knows when he got so tall (summer of second year, he had to buy new robes for third year because they were already too short)

spends breakfast half awake, focusing on eating his meal and listening to yangyang complain about how hard his transfiguration classes yesterday were

he’s never around for dinner because he’s always at the pitch and no one has the energy to talk to yangyang in the mornings so he’s the poor guy

everyone loves him, no one can find a single thing to hate about him even if they tried

loves care for magical creatures with hagrid (he measures his height with the half-giant)

other classes? not so much

sure he tried a little bit, but why would he need to transfigure something into a pen when he could just look for one, and why would he need to concoct a drowsiness potion if he can just will himself to sleep

speaking of sleep, he does that a lot

he likes to wait for xiaojun during fourth period because they had arithmancy next, and he would lean against the corridor and sleep

learned how to sleep hunched over so it looked like he was focusing on class (begs whoever he’s sitting with to wake him up)

why does he do this?

“i’m saving up my energy for later”

he’s a quidditch beast

part of the quidditch team, originally tried out for seeker but they realized he couldn’t go fast enough without loosing his balance on his broom

he switched to being a beater, which the team found out he was very good at aha great power comes with great biceps

everyone falls in love with him when he’s on the pitch

he looks big and scary and ultra focused

and they realized after 3 games that he focuses so much because he aims the bludger to hit the player’s upper thigh only (this prevents player from taking a fall and just bruise, not break a bone)

once he accidentally sent his bludger flying too hard and knocked the chaser off, but he was faster than the seeker and caught them (followed the poor chaser for a week saying sorry and giving them semi burnt cookies he made with xiaojun)

gets confessed to every other day and just says “thanks”

but why don’t you ever reject them?

why deny that i’m handsome?

that makes no sense

as with rejecting them!

but truly is an angel

he even got winwin to actually converse with him

he makes everyone feel comfortable, talks to everyone and just hangs around when they don’t want to, offering company

overall 10/10. his cockiness about his looks just makes him endearing since everyone knows he can’t break someone’s heart.

XIAO DEJUN

ravenclaw, halfblood

kun’s reincarnation

but there’s one problem

he’s still immature

you would think he’s the prime example of a ravenclaw

practices his passions all the time

likes doing brain-productive things

reads about anything he finds interesting

goes in and out of their tower because he thinks solving the riddles is fun

but ho ho ho oh oh no

he’s a little devil

makes snarky comebacks under his breath that takes a little bit for you to understand

makes things harder on purpose just for fun and because he’ll be the only one able to do it

has a joke for EVERYTHING and never repeats them so i guess he can get away with that

he’s a little menace to the society but he can get away with it because it’s all just minor inconveniences

but we all know minor inconveniences are the most annoying things

likes to annoy kun the most because he understands and reacts immediately

doesn’t like to annoy the hufflepuffs because they just smile at him in confusion

despite that, he’s also a little sweetheart

remembers everything his friends say, so he’s always there to remind them

reminds kun about a test he has to retake, ten about his changing patrolling schedule, winwin’s meeting with a professor, lucas’ need to polish his broom after dinner, hendery’s homework, and yangyang about that incoming howler from his parents

when he realized he’s such a great asset, he became a bit nosy too

likes to meddle with all of his friends’ business

so if someone wants to find any of the six, he can tell you a vague description where they are

because of course he’s not gonna tell you lucas is by the lake practicing his swinging, he’s gonna tell you he’s brushing up on his quidditch skills so you’d go running to the pitch

this way he’s not technically doing anything wrong to both parties

one day, kun asks why he likes doing this

“it makes me feel like a king maker. feeding things into their tiny brains and knowing exactly what they’ll be doing”

“that’s not exactly what a king maker does”

“yeah but does it look like i want them to be more powerful than me?”

co-parents a dog with lucas

aka lucas asked him to take care of bella while he’s in practice but he forgot to take her back with him for 2 days so now bella thinks she lives in the ravenclaw tower too

does random errands for his friends as a way of apologizing (but really just as a leverage so he can cause more trouble)

his ultimate goal was to brainwash everyone so they couldn’t live without him and he succeeded????

now they’re the receiving end of all the sermons his professors give him (you wouldn’t expect it, but he causes quite a ruckus in class)

but still, at the end of the day, they choose to sit next to him at the ravenclaw table during dinner

overall 7/10. he’s annoying, but he’s good at everything he does and helps his friends out in different ways. which makes him more annoying because why? why not

HUANG GUANHENG

gryffindor, muggleborn

does not understand magic. like at all

the only reason he’s still managing is because he refuses to be beaten by xiaojun

he doesn’t know why he’s in gryffindor but anyone who’s ever met him can vouch for the sorting hat

he’s courageous in the way he faces learning magic (it won’t hurt me, i’m magic) he's brave to speak up to anyone and ask for help when he needs it, and most of all, he has the nerve to get right into winwin’s face

surprisingly good at harder spells than that of his year level, so he’s in a few higher level classes

the reason being he wants to save face when with upperclassmen so he actually focuses real hard and actually understands

because when he’s with his friends, his mind goes wandering and he can’t focus his magic

a very strange wizard indeed

imagine getting help from xiaojun to levitate a piece of parchment but can explain to ten how to brew an advanced potion

he’s very confident in his abilities

why would he be nervous to stay after curfew??

if filch catches you

then don’t i just have to avoid him??

but has realistic fears

will not go near a broom

yeah okay the broom can fly, but can he?? he can’t even levitate a piece of parchment, how can he levitate himself?

also very practical

lucas kept struggling since he kept spilling his ink pot so he handed him a pen

“dude i forgot these existed!” “who writes with feathers??”

the most laid back yet extra ordinary wizard ever

you can start a conversation with him and he can keep it going for hours on end

very friendly, will talk to anyone but the downside to this is that he talks to everyone like they’re his friends asdkjshjkd even mcgonagall

overall 7/10. uses magic to solve trivial muggle things and still makes bets with yangyang up to this day.

LIU YANGYANG

slytherin, pureblood

a force to be reckoned with

spend a day with him and your ears will bleed

why?? does?? he?? talk?? so?? much??

his friends always complain but everyone else in the castle can’t see why

in the eyes of a stranger, he’s actually cold and reserved, hard to approach

but if you actually knew him

oh boy you’d want to not

can talk for hours

he and hendery wanted to know just how long he could talk

so they timed it

talked for 9 hours straight, no one knows how they managed

good thing this talking is actually useful

he likes to recite during class, always has a lengthy explanation for his answers

people aren’t the only one he talks to

he talks to the ghosts and to the paintings, greeting them a lovely day or whatever

besides talking, he also has another passion–quidditch

he plays as chaser for his house, often times taking his time to freshen up, so he goes back at about midnight during thursdays

good thing ten patrols during thursdays

speaking of ten, he’s been a brother figure for him all his life

so when he was introduced to winwin, he got so excited because he had another brother

by the end of the night, fourth year winwin knew everything about first year yangyang

he loooves his buddy

tries to do everything with winwin but he doesn’t let him

despite being too much to handle, winwin actually likes him too (but don’t let yangyang know)

likes to do dumb dares with hendery

isn’t really into pranking and getting all up into other’s business, so they manage their mischief between the two of them

and the whole of hogwarts just enjoys and guesses which of the two would be the one running around the great hall in their pajamas

yangyang actually encourages his fellow slytherins to stop sticking among themselves

mostly because he’s tired of them bugging him to “go ask your gryffindor friend if there’s homework on-”

at the end of the day, all his slytherin friends have been adopted by ten, took a liking to kun, and watches lucas, xiaojun and hendery fool around for entertainment

that being said, he loves his friends

thankful that he has classes with at least one of them for all his classes

all his professors have learned to sit him next to them, otherwise he’ll just slack off and stare into oblivion

he’s actually more productive when he has someone to remind him to be

okay maybe sitting him next to hendery wouldn’t result to school productivity

overall 9/10. it would be an 8 but he actually does acknowledge he talks too much.

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zims-left-shoe · 4 years ago

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Hello, I had a really cute idea for a request if you dont mind. Since it's been lockdown and stuff could I get a Zim x S/o where they're finally able to see eachother after isolation. Bonus for fluff if that's ok with you?

This request??? Amazing. Absolute perfection. And of course there’s going to be fluff!! Chaotic and feral Zim is great, but I love me some soft Zim.

Oh, and there’s no specific age here. Could be high school, could be adults, I’ll leave that up to the reader.

Blinking furiously, your eyes eventually settled on a squint as your phone cast painfully bright light into your face. The surrounding comfort of darkness was fended off by the harsh screen you continued to stare at. Nothing had changed in the past hour, nothing new was written. You weren't sure what you were hoping for.

A simple 'FINE' within a chat bubble marked the end of your conversation. Normally, you would snicker to yourself about how he flat out refused to write in lowercase, but the anxiety gnawing at your stomach prevented you from doing so.

Sighing, you rolled onto your side, hanging half off the bed in order to plug your phone in for the night. After that was accomplished, you flopped onto your back, staring into the black abyss that was your bedroom ceiling.

Quarantine had been a lot more difficult than you had originally thought. At first it was fun, you could be as much of an introvert as you wanted and could take care of your responsibilities on your own time and schedule, for the most part anyway. But once the weeks turned into months, and those months began to increase exponentially, it became a problem. Going just a bit stir crazy was bad enough, but the worst part was being unable to see Zim.

Again, at first, you didn't think it would be such a bad thing. He tended to get a bit clingy and possessive, so you thought a little me time would do you some good. But as time stretched onward, you realized that you missed the little roach bastard more than you had anticipated.

Of course you couldn't see him, considering not only the high human-to-human spread, but neither of you were quite sure to the extent Irkens would be affected, if it would be much more dangerous for Zim than an average human. As if that factor wasn't bad enough, Zim was already a huge germaphobe, so he rejected the idea of even socially-distanced hangouts with masks and all that.

So, being responsible and considerate, you had agreed to stick to text communication. It was fine at first, and you both talked regularly. Until about a month ago. Your worries began at the occurrence of two solid weeks of radio silence. Assuming the best, you waved it off as maybe he went to space and therefore couldn't get Earth cell reception. Finally, he had contacted you again, but brushed off any questions regarding the period of being off the grid. However, any response he gave you was short and simple, often a yes or no without elaboration, even to prompts where those answers weren't even valid.

This is where the unease began. Your mind began to run rampant with thoughts on the matter. What if he had gotten tired of you? The reasonable person inside of you told you that if that was indeed the case, then his loss, but that didn't mean you had to be happy about it. Just when you would convince yourself everything was fine, you managed to come back with something else, always a variation of the last negative thought. What if he had realized that he liked being alone, that he missed being a lone wolf soldier focused on destroying the world with no one to care about? You could never fully refute that one. After all, was a genetically modified alien soldier truly content being tied down by something such as a relationship?

The only thing that brought you any solace was that he had reached out to you that morning, requesting your presence at his base. Things had gotten better, allowing for the two of you to meet with contact, person to person. Well, person to Irken. Of course, your brain wouldn't let you enjoy that. It just had to spin some tale that would send you into a spiral of dread. Now, as you laid in your bed, sheets bunched in your fists, you were convinced that he wished to break up with you. Well, at least he had the decency to do so in person, if that even was the case.

You wanted nothing more than to be overjoyed that you would finally be able to see him after all this time. You had become quite attached to Zim, more than you ever would like to admit. You should be filled with excitement. However, you felt nothing but a sinking feeling that made your skin crawl.

"Just...please let me have a good night's sleep, would you?" You pleaded with your mind, shifting onto your side to face your wall, letting your eyes shut tight.

(more under the cut)

Unfortunately, you and your brain have two very different ways of defining 'a good night's sleep'. Trudging into the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead, you couldn't hold back the massive yawn. Stretching, about ten different joints popped as you remembered tossing and turning for a majority of the night. The worst part was the two or so hour period of staring blankly at the ceiling, mind racing with ideas of nothing at all.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror revealed you to be looking like hell...and not on wheels. More like hell discarded on the side of the road next to an empty shopping bag. Dark circles rested under your eyes, which weren't only from the previous night. Your sleep schedule had been almost non-existent thanks to quarantine, some nights you wouldn't surrender to slumber until three in the morning, and other days you would succumb to sleep's tantalizing claws at four pm.

Not to mention that you could barely remember the last time you had worn anything but pajamas or sweats. Groaning, you pulled on presentable clothes, as if this was the largest inconvenience you could ever be faced with. Not that Zim would care, but you didn't want to be shown up in the outfit department by a being from beyond who wore the same saturated pink military uniform every day.

You didn't even bother to glance at the time, it wouldn't matter. Either way, Zim would most likely chide you for being late, even if you were an hour early. You weren't sure if the construct of time even existed in the reality that was Zim's mind. Now that you thought about it, you couldn't say for certain if you had even set a specific time arrangement. All you had agreed upon was to be there some time in the morning.

It didn't matter regardless, he would be there whenever you decided to show up. He hadn't left his base once for the duration of quarantine. Zim had patience when it came to being cooped up for long periods of time, you would give him that much. It was about the only time he had patience, but it counted nonetheless.

That negative feeling wouldn't cease tugging at you as you meandered your way to Zim's base, quite literally dragging your feet down the sidewalk. Occasionally, you would come across a stray stone or pinecone, and you'd strike out with a half-hearted kick, watching it skitter across the pavement.

The entire walk was forgettable, and you had made the trek enough times for your brain to transition into autopilot until you made it to the fence line. The first few times you went to his place were unsettling. Now, you were completely unfazed as the security gnomes eyed you when you padded up the sidewalk, approaching the door. Their beady laser eyes tracked your every breath, but by this point you were unbothered. Besides, you were fairly sure that Zim had put you on the white list, so they shouldn't shoot at you unless it was a direct order.

You pressed the doorbell, folding your hands neatly in front of you as you waited for Zim to answer, scrambling to get a heartfelt speech together in your head. Whatever string of words you had managed to stitch together was thrown out the window when the door swung open, revealing a very animated GIR decked out in his doggy disguise. He frantically waved a black 'paw' to you, a grin splitting his face.

"Hi, Sparky!!" He hollered in your face, greeting you with a name that wasn't yours, per usual. Before you could even open your mouth to respond, he began talking again, in very much an outside voice. A chip right off the old Irken block. "Didja bring the pizza?!" The little robot inspected your arms curiously, stepping around you to make sure you weren't hiding the greasy pie behind your back.

"I, uh, wasn't aware I was supposed to be bringing pizza." You knew this was just an instance of GIR being GIR, but you went along with it anyway. He couldn't help himself, it was just the way he was wired. Or, maybe it was the fact that his brains consisted of useless pocket junk. It didn't really matter. GIR moved back to stand obediently in the doorway, you peering around the frame to see if Zim was anywhere to be found. He wasn't, which only made the nerves worse. Despite your worry, you kept your voice even and neutral. "May I come in?"

"Mhm!" He hummed, jumping aside to let you in. You closed the door behind you, standing around awkwardly for a moment before turning back to GIR, who was already shimmying out of his doggy suit.

"Do you know where Zim is?" Something seemed to click with GIR, however, it was not something that would answer your question. The poor robot burst into tears, which also wasn't out of the ordinary, falling face first into the floor and pounding his metal claw on the tile.

"That boy missed you so much!! He so sad, he even cried!! He loves youuu...!" He wailed, loud enough to draw Minimoose into the room who offered a soft and sad 'Nyah', seemingly agreeing with the statement. You couldn't confirm, since only Zim and GIR were fluent in the language you lovingly called 'Moosinese'. Tears continued to stream down the robot's metal face as he screamed, Minimoose resting a comforting purple nub on his back.

"Is that true?" Your response was calm, having dealt with GIR's outbursts many a time. You couldn't attest to the accuracy of his words, considering correct information was almost similar to a Russian roulette wheel when it came to GIR.

And as if nothing had ever happened, the robot immediately perked up, popping up to his feet with a smile, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. "Yep!! Master's been down in the base the whole time!! Just sittin' there all shmoopy-like!" A giggle followed, pushing his previous bout of sadness into the past.

"Nyah!" Minimoose showed you a bucktooth grin as he looked to you purposefully.

"Really? Fascinating." Again, you couldn't speak Moosinese, but still, you nodded. The purple moose appeared to be satisfied with your response, floating off to who knows where.

"You wanna come play with the piggy with me?!" GIR bounced up and down, eager to drag you off to roll around on the floor and have a tea party with whatever pig he had brought home this week.

"Maybe some other time, GIR." You weren't opposed to spending time with the little robot, but he wasn't exactly who you were here to see. He didn't seem offended, all he did was shrug his metal shoulders.

"Okie dokie!" He brought his claw up to his forehead in a salute, turning away from you and making a mad dash to the kitchen. You heard a noisy metallic clang echo from the kitchen, and you didn't need to witness the event to visualize GIR smacking face-first into the cabinet.

"Careful, GIR! My milk squid experiment is in there!" A familiar voice rang out from the kitchen, and two immediate questions sprung to mind. The first was why in the name of anything would you keep milk in the cabinet (even if it related to a squid)? The second being just what in the hell had he been doing all this time?

The whiny complaints had quieted to low grumbles as just the alien you wanted to see paced into the living room, eyes cast downwards, antennae drooping. The words that had been forming in your throat were choked into barely a squeak when you got a closer look at him. Zim still didn't seem to notice you, red bug eyes trained on the tile, hands clasped behind his back. That wasn't the surprising bit. A jacket you thought you had lost some time ago was thrown on over his invader uniform. You couldn't remember if maybe you had left it there or maybe Zim had taken without your knowledge, but either way, he was swimming in it. The sleeves were rolled up to meet his wrists, gloved hands peeking out from the fabric. Most of the jacket itself was well past his thighs, stopping just above the knee. It had been just a bit big on you, so of course it would be massive on him. You felt any unease you were feeling immediately leave at the sight. Clearly, he hadn't been enjoying the separation as much as you thought.

"I was wondering where that coat went." A chuckle slipped past your lips. Finally, Zim seemed to notice you, head snapping in your direction, antennae perking up to attention.

"Eh?" He didn't quite register your phrase, almost as if he had been wearing your coat for so long that he had forgotten it wasn't a part of his usual attire. "Y/n, I don't-" Zim looked down at himself, finally realizing why you were staring at him like that. He wriggled out of the jacket faster than you could gush about how adorable it was, throwing it forcefully behind the couch. "YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!!" He shrieked, pointing a clawed finger at you, antennae flattening against his head in curt embarrassment.

"So, you like my stuff, huh?" You asked cheekily, relishing in his refusal to look at you as he unknowingly clutched the hem of his invader uniform, scuffling his boots on the tile. You couldn't help but snicker. It wasn't often Zim would let himself be sheepish, since he normally knew nothing of shame.

"Nonsense!" He waved a hand dismissively, eyes still refusing to meet yours, although without his contacts, it was a bit hard to tell where exactly he was looking if his head wasn't turned. Crossing his arms tight to his chest, he wracked his brain for possible excuses. "I was just, er, working on repairs and didn't want to get my clothes dirty! Yes! I found this filthy piece of clothing and figured it would suffice." You rolled your eyes, knowing full well he would never admit to the true motivations behind his actions.

Lucky for you, someone else chimed in to voice your exact thoughts. "That's a lie." The computer spoke up from nowhere in particular, monotone voice bringing a growl to rise from Zim's throat.

"YOU'RE LYING!! There is no evidence of this!" The Irken jabbed a claw up towards the direction of the many cables and wires strung across the ceiling. This wouldn't be the first time you've witnessed him get into a spat with his computer. They could be quite entertaining to watch, actually.

"Proof." The computer said in a matter-of-fact tone, the gargantuan TV screen buzzing to life, static clearing to reveal a recording of internal base camera feed. The date was in Irken, but you were wise enough to surmise that it was from some time over the quarantine.

The screen displays Zim begrudgingly wandering over to the voot cruiser in the hangar. In the video feed, he looks decently depressed, antennae slack and hanging limp, posture slouched. He climbed into the ship, looking for something. Whatever it was, his search came to an unresolved end as he lifted your jacket from the seat. Apparently, you had left it in there the last time he had taken you for a flight. His eyes darted around to make sure he wasn't being watched, slipping on the coat and hugging his arms to his chest. The sleeves extended well past his hands. He brought them to his face, sniffing them. A delighted smile ghosted his mouth as he rubbed the sleeves against his face.

"Why would you record that?!" His voice cracked at the end, and you were trying your best to hold in a laugh as the TV faded back to static for a split second before opening on another instance.

This time the video depicted GIR and Zim sprawled out on the couch, watching something on the TV. Zim was wrapped in your coat as if it were a blanket, seeming to be content enough with it. GIR had reached out a claw for the article of clothing, wishing to share. Zim hissed, yanking the coat away from his grip, swiping a clawed hand out like a cat. Clearly, he wanted it all to himself.

This time you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. You tried to apologize, especially since the Irken standing next to you looked absolutely horrified. You were sure he felt his dignity had just faded away right along with the video feed.

"Oh, and my personal favorite." The computer added helpfully as yet another recording presented itself on the TV. This one was a bit tougher to make out.

Zim was down in the depths of the base, and much was dark, the only light being cast from a large monitor just off screen. You were able to see Zim, sitting on the floor, sporting your jacket. He stared longingly at the sleeves that covered his hands. After a moment he shoved his face into his arms and knees as tears slipped down his face. You could only make out the tears due to the light being thrown from the monitor, making them glisten like jewels. Separation appeared to be much harder on him than you had thought. Maybe that was why he had been ignoring you, although it seemed counterproductive. It was possible that texting you made him miss you more.

Zim was not amused in the slightest by this particular clip. He stamped his foot on the tile, making frenzied cutting motions with his arms.

"COMPUTER!!!" His voice was high in volume, but a nervous chuckle laced each syllable. "I think that is quite enough!"

The computer groaned, cutting the feed back to static, eventually switching the TV off completely. "I was just trying to be accurate."

"You only seem to care about accuracy when it is of no benefit to Zim!!" You could only imagine what was going through Zim's head in the moment, because from the outside, he was a ball of red hot rage. However, the computer was having none of his antics, going dormant once more.

"Zim? You're up here." You raised a hand above your head to indicate his anger level. "I need you to be down here." You lowered your hand to your abdomen, knowing that was a complete stretch to ask for. Especially since he was so upset he was stringing together curses in Irken. He would only speak in his native tongue around you when he was incredibly furious. His teeth were gritted tightly, foot tapping audibly on the tile.

"That damn computer." His growl was closer to that of a feral animal, and although he was calm enough to speak in English, he still required some de-escalation.

"Relax, we'll just pretend it never happened."

"Good. Forget about those recordings." His eyes were narrowed, but he was relenting his irritation.

"What recordings?" You shrugged, a smile playing at the corners of your mouth. Zim seemed appeased, and in a split second, all of his anger was gone and replaced by something else entirely. All the fight seemed to leave his body as he looked to you, red eyes softening completely when they caught your own. He seemed relieved to see you, as if being away was one of the hardest things he had been through in years.

Wordlessly, he strode over to you, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face into your chest. Soft Zim was a rare occurrence, but these moments were something you absolutely treasured. It almost made the months of isolation worth it.

You returned the action, and the second you put your arms around him, every muscle in his body relaxed. It was a bit strange, really. To have a hardened alien soldier all but melt in your arms. He wrapped his legs around you as well, clinging to you like a koala. It wasn't hard to maintain balance since he really wasn't all that heavy.

"Couch." He mumbled, his chin resting on your shoulder as his arms were draped around your neck, your own arms supporting him under his legs. A chuckle fell from your lips at his behavior. At first it seemed like he had no energy, but in reality, it was closer to him being soothed by your presence. You were about the only living creature, scratch that, the only thing in the entire universe that could ease him like this; even he wasn't sure why you had this effect on him.

"Sure thing." You walked him over to the couch, using one arm to snag your jacket off the floor before sinking down into the cushions. There was a bit of a strange smell emanating from where you sat, most likely due to GIR spilling countless snacks, messes that weren't completely cleaned up. It wasn't super potent, and in that particular moment, it wasn't one of your concerns.

As you sat on the couch, Zim remained cuddled into you. A snicker slipped out as you tossed your coat over him as if it were a blanket. At first you assumed he would protest, proclaiming that he wasn't cold, nor a weak little smeet who needs to be cared for. So when he removed his arms from you, you were bracing yourself for a lecture and/or rant. However, all he did was tuck the jacket around him better, silently snaking his arms back around you afterward.

"You really did miss me, huh?" It was a redundant question, since without even saying, you both were aware of the answer. Still, you wished to hear him say it. It would put you in good spirits.

"Your absence was...not pleasant." His voice was uncharacteristically hushed, muffled by your clothes. His words were chosen delicately, as they always were when he didn't want to admit to something that he knew to be true.

"So you missed me." The smile that was spread on your face shone through your voice.

"If that is what you would like to think." Zim made an attempt at being snarky, but any mockery in his words was half-hearted at best. Breathing a sigh, you let your head fall back against the back of the couch. You knew full well that was the best you could hope to glean from him, even in his current subdued state.

"For the record, I missed you too."

"As you should. Zim is very great." Looking down, you were met with a sight that melted your heart. The coat still wrapped around him, arms still clinging to you as if you would walk out any minute. Zim's eyes were closed as he laid his head in your lap, quiet purrs rising from his throat as your fingers absentmindedly played with his antennae. You almost thought he would fall asleep.

"I know. You're the coolest Irken I know." You may have only known one, but still. Zim was pretty amazing in your book, despite being a self-absorbed idiot at times. A pleasant silence settled over the room for a moment as you continued to twirl his antennae between your fingers.

His eyes still closed, Zim spoke again, mumbling, "Zim's next plan is to eradicate these abhorrent human pandemics." The words slurred together a bit, and although you knew Irkens to not sleep due to lack of biological necessity, whenever he was completely relaxed, he tended to get drowsy.

"Good luck with that. I support your efforts one hundred percent." Despite the first statement harboring a twinge of sarcasm, the second was completely genuine.

"Does Zim detect a hint of ridicule?" His words may have been a challenge, but not a single eye opened even a crack, not a single muscle in his body so much as twitching.

"All I'm saying is I haven't seen much progress on your original plan of eradicating the humans, and it's been how many years?"

"Quiet or I'll steal another one of your inferior human zip-cloth thingies." He may not have technically stolen the first one, but you had to make a mental note to keep track of your jackets and hoodies. Or at the very least, make sure to keep the ones you wore often out of reach. You supposed in the end it didn't really matter. You would know where to find them if they did happen to go missing. And besides, he did look rather cute in them.

#invader zim #invader zim fanfiction #invader zim x reader #zim x reader #invader zim fic #invader zim one shot #invader zim oneshot #one shot #oneshot #fanfic #fanfiction #request

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llendrinall · 4 years ago

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What if the golden trio + Draco magically get sucked into a universe where Riddle was killed before the potters were. And they grow up from babes to adulthood not remembering anything until they suddenly get their memories when each reach the age of 21 and ohh imagine how hard itd be on each's parents cuz they dont know whats wrong and all. Then bam Ron shows up engaged to a muggleborn he never spoke to in school and Harry and Draco are spotted on a date in a muggle zoo. The Malfoy's flip and so do the Potters.

It'd be a lovely story of healing, connecting and love and honesty I think they deserve it after the shit they went through.

The memories come to them in dreams. At first it’s just a strange, upsetting, dream that has a bit more consistency than dreams usually have and that lingers through the day while dreams fade away before you get out of bed. By the third night they have almost all the memories back, each dream slotting nicely with the previous one. Harry is understandably freaked out. He makes a quick trip to Godric’s Hollow to go hug his parents and then spends a lot of time looking at the one family photo they have in the living room, the one in which Harry and Dudley were seven. He stares at Petunia’s smile and wonders whatever happened to give him such horrible ideas about his aunt.

He and Ron are friends, living together as they went through the Auror training and now in their first year working as Aurors. Harry talks to Ron because he can’t shake that horrible feeling of dread; all the things he could lose or maybe all the things he has lost. That’s when they realize they have the same freaking memories, the same dreams, down to the nasty details like Ron leaving during the horcrux hunt or Harry being kind of a jerk about Ginny.

Ron, being Ron, is blessed with an eminently practical and down to earth sense of life. The dreams are strange and it would be very interesting to learn how come they got the same dream-memories, if something happened to their other selves and why are they suddenly remembering now. All those are very good and valid questions that someone should investigate. For now, Ron is going to find Hermione Granger and do whatever it takes to make her fall in love with him so he can marry her.

It turns out that Hermione has been getting the same dreams, the same memories, and when Harry and Ron – those two classmates she was friendly with but not super close to – come knocking on her door, she cries and she doesn’t know if it sadness for what they lost of joy to have them back. Ron once again shows his superior sense by grabbing her hand and saying that yes, this might be a super duper weird spell, and yes Hermione is right to suspect it and want to know why and where it came from, and yes, there may be some dark forces playing around; but none of that changes the fact that he loves her and even if the memories proved to be fake he will still love her because she has the courage and smarts to suspect the meaning of these memories and basically what Ron is trying to say is that he loves all iterations of Hermione. Sorry, but she is stuck with him.

They get married that same day, with Harry acting as a witness. Then they go tell their respective families. The Grangers take it surprisingly well and don’t even threaten Ron with dismemberment if he ever hurts Hermione. Instead, they ask him to do right by her. Ron, who might be going a bit mad, makes a vow of devotion and loyalty with his actual knee on the floor and the Grangers love it. They named their only daughter Hermione, of course they love it when an actual chivalric hero comes into their living room.

The Weasleys are a different thing. They know enough about magic to be suspicious of the sudden memories. Mrs Weasleys gives Hermione the stink eye because, to be honest, this sounds a lot like a love-potion. It’s only because Harry is there with the same memories and no wish to marry Hermione that Mrs Weasley doesn’t call the Wizarding Patrol immediately. Also, the twins and Ginny dislike Hermione. The twins slightly less so because they only had to suffer her as Prefect for a year, but for Ginny it was three long years of Hermione barring her from hexing and/or beating people. It was very frustrating and she blames Hermione for every pimple she got during that time. If Ginny had been allowed to hex Parkinson or Malfoy of freaking Finch-Fletchley every time they were their annoying selves, Ginny would have been much calmer and mellower and her skin would have reflected it.

So the Weasleys are not happy but there isn’t much they can do about it other than keep a close look on Hermione and wait for Ron to see reason.

It is a very busy weekend to say the least. On Monday Harry has vertigo because the week seems awfully empty (disarming a blood hex and capturing its creator, ppft, what is that for someone who remembers fighting Voldemort?). Harry would rather have his hours full so he won’t be overwhelmed by his thoughts. There is so much death in the memories! His parents, Sirius, Remus, Peter, even Regulus who is profoundly weird and very snobbish but James insists on inviting him to events and he keeps coming despite how uncomfortable he looks. They are all dead in Harry’s memories.

There is also Malfoy, who is even more of a jerk in the memories and who grew up to become an actual Death Eater like his father, someone who almost killed Dumbledore and who, when the time came, saved Harry’s life with a lie.

On Thursday the Auror office receives a call of dark activity in Minaford Park, which is where Draco Malfoy is living these days. Harry takes the assignment and makes quick work of the boggart and the ghoul that somehow were trapped under the stairs and were screaming at each other. As excuses go, it’s not too bad. Harry is certain that Draco could have done it himself, but it is messy enough that it seems believable that he would prefer someone else to fix it for him.

Draco offers Harry tea, which he accepts. There is a very odd tension in the air. Draco is down to his shirt sleeves and has shadows under his eyes and when he looks at Harry… It can’t be said that he looks at him funny. Draco was his usual snobbish self while he watched Harry getting rid of the creatures. But there is something in his eyes when Harry takes a seat and accepts the tea cup. Something almost like sorrow.

No, not sorrow.

Compassion.

“Look, Potter”, Draco says. “I am too old to start having prophetic dreams, but this affects you directly. You figure out if someone is playing with a timer-turner or what, here it goes.” And he tells Harry everything.

As one could expect, Minaford Park has a very beautiful garden. Draco and Harry spend hours after lunch walking through it. Ah, yes, Harry stayed for lunch. Draco insisted. He still had things to tell Harry and he was growing hungry.

They meet again on Saturday, ostensibly so Harry can tell Draco what he and Hermione had learned. Ron says he doesn’t give a damn where the memories came from. He only cares what he can do with them and so far he seems to be doing pretty well, having married Hermione and encouraged Bill to ask Fleur Delacour out. Hermione and Harry are a bit more worried, but Harry will admit the research effort goes 30-70% in Hermione’s favour.

Talking with Draco is good. He seems to share the same dread as Harry. Draco confesses that he is not happy with his conduct, or rather the conduct of the Draco that could be. He talks a lot about the fear and nausea at having the Dark Lord in his house, the smell of despair that took over the manor, the mad glint in his aunt Bellatrix’s eyes. Since Draco talks about his aunt, about seeing her mad and cruel and talking proudly about torturing the Longbottoms, Harry feels that he can talk about his own aunt Petunia and Draco will understand. Lily and Petunia don’t have the closest relationship, but to think that she could treat Harry like that…

The Sunday visit to the zoo isn’t a date. As soon as Hermione learns that Draco also has the memories she assigns work pairs and tasks. She sends Harry and Draco to check the reptiles in case they see something like Nagini in there. Both of them have the most memories of her. They should be able to recognize the snake.

Nagini is there and she is surprisingly cognizant for a snake which makes them suspect that she might be a horcrux. The discovery leaves them cold, a new kind of vertigo opening before them. They didn’t live through it, they are only memories, but the exhaustion of the war feels real and they don’t want to go through anything similar again.

Draco asks to go see the penguins and it might seem silly and contradictory, but watching them helps a lot to keep the chill from Nagini away. Neither can tell who initiated, but while in there they begin to hold hands. They go to see the butterflies next, which are in the next pavilion, and suddenly everything in the world looks much better. They don’t kiss when they part, but the way they look at each other is worth at least three kisses.

On Monday Harry receives a short message from Remus that simply says he has sequestered the Prophet’s copy but he doesn’t know how long he can keep Harry’s parents from seeing the news. Harry takes the morning off work and goes to Godric’s Hollow immediately so they can learn about Draco from him rather than the salacious gossip column.

James simply says, “MALFOY? You… MALFOY!?”.

He seems upset. Then he freezes and for the next ten minutes James says nothing. He doesn’t move. He is just there, in the kitchen, one hand in the air and the other holding a cup of tea that is growing cold.

“Harry, dear, I want you to come to dinner today.” Lily says. She has a worried frown but is otherwise unperturbed. “And tell us everything about those memories. Even the bad bits. This is important. It can be dangerous.”

“Yes! Dinner!” James screams, suddenly unfreezing. “Bring him to dinner. Tonight.”

“What?”

“No, you are right. It might be too formal, too soon. Quidditch, then. Does he like Quidditch? He must. I remember you complaining about him while you were in school.”

“He… likes Quidditch, yes.” Harry says hesitantly because even now he is not sure if his dad is talking about Draco.

“Perfect. We shall go see a Quidditch match, the three of us.”

“James.” Lily warns.

“Does anybody in this house know when the next Quidditch match is?” James cries over his wife’s warning that he is doing it again, just like with Sirius.

“Saturday.” Remus says.

“That’s too late! When is Sirius back?”

“Wednesday.” Answers Remus and despite his transformation exhaustion he nimbly steps away from Lily’s strike with the newspaper. Usually Remus would spend his transformation at home, but since Sirius had to go on a trip he came to James and Lily’s so he would have company, which led to the fortunate circumstance of being able to take the newspaper and delay the news.

“Honestly, Remus.” Chides Lily.

“I’m not encouraging him! You can’t call answering his questions encouragement!”

“It is decided, then.” James announces from the chair. He has climbed a chair and is speaking from atop. “Friday, you bring young Malfoy home. We will play Quidditch and some board games and have dinner in the yard. Sirius shall bring Regulus so Malfoy is not the only Slytherin.”

“James, listen to me…” Lily tries with little faith that James would listen to anyone.

That same morning, at eleven, Lucius Malfoy receives a howler from James Potter composed of thirty-two seconds of mad laughter, which means that James must had listened to Lily at some point or most likely that she was able to take his wand.

It couldn’t be said that James Potter was happy to hear that his beloved son was dating a snobbish Slytherin prick, no, but as soon as he realized that Lucius Malfoy would be equally unenthused about it, it had awaken James’s unhinged tendency towards confrontation with the established power and forced adoption of families’ black sheep. He had done it to Sirius, he had done it to Remus, he had done it to Peter (even if it failed catastrophically) and he was doing it to Regulus now. He had even befriended Severus Snape. Oh! Snape! He should invite Snape too. That way they could make teams of four. He would come if Lily asked him to.

And afterwards they explore those memories, and Lily looks worried and so does Snape. Regulus goes very quiet for a while but then he gives his opinion of what has happened and it’s the most words anyone has heard him speak but the multiverse theory makes a lot of sense.

The Weasleys warm up to Hermione eventually. They can’t tell why, exactly, other that Ron is beaming these days. Also, every time she comes to the Burrow she brings a gift to Arthur. It is a very obvious ploy to make them like her but it works because she sees the gift through and answers all of Arthur’s questions no matter how long it takes. The twins took notes when she gave her physics lecture. It was most informative. They created two prank artefacts out of it.

They find the few horcruxes Voldemort managed to make. Peter, who had a falling out with the Potters years ago, resurfaces and tries to steal a horcrux and bring back the Dark Lord out of spite. According to Regulus some people are dedicated to bring their own destruction and you can’t do anything about it. Barty Crouch Jr. also tries to bring Voldemort back, but by then Lucius Malfoy has been adopted by James even though he is a powerful adult man with his own family. It makes no sense. If anything, Lucius should be the one informally adopting people and grooming them under his wing to be his devoted friends and allies. But Lucius had become James’, just like Severus warned him it would happen, so he puts a stop to that Barty Crouch nonsense pretty quickly and to any other former Death Eaters with ideas. Lucius might not like the Potters but he likes the idea of Voldemort taking over his house even less, and whatever else his happening, it makes Draco happy, so.

What little of Voldemort remained alive, it is now dead.

The four of them, they have the shadows and regrets of two lives, the fear and pain of two wars, but the happiness afterwards… Oh, it is worth it, it is very, very worth it. It is the happiness of two lives, tenfold.

#asks #harry potter #memories #au #Anonymous #verse: memories from another life

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dirt-cup-draco · 4 years ago

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Fred Weasley x Reader- Better To Have Loved and Lost Part 2/2

Previously:

I really do love you Fred. You thought and hoped some part of him would feel comforted as you prayed he came to understand what he meant to you.

It was better to have loved and lost Fred Weasley than to have continued to love him and been the cause for his misery.

The war had been won and it was cause for much relief but as you wiped the tables at the Leaky Cauldron you pondered over why you still couldn’t smile right, why the laughs that spilled past your lips were cold and haughty, why when you went home to Ian, it still didn’t feel like home.

You knew the answer but refused to see it, refused to let yourself feel the fury and the loss that came from following your parents’ every wish. They’d been delighted when your sister had introduced you to Ian once the war ended. Turns out the both of you had been helping rebuild Hogwarts and you just hadn’t been lucky enough to run into each other.

He was sweet and you didn’t mind his attention but it all felt wrong even if there was hardly a bad thing you could say about him. Your sister could have, and you were surprised she hadnt, picked far worse for you. You only wished that she didn’t feel the need to. You’d been happy with what you had, four months of bliss with the redhead who still had your heart, and now you were forced to live a life you resented.

Ian was much like you, his family ruled his life. You were both the worst sort of coward. In some ways, it made you feel close to him. You had found a friend, at the very least. You told yourself to just be happy with that.

Working in Diagon Alley made it very hard to be happy with that.

You saw Fred and George Weasley in their shop but thankfully hadn’t run into them yet at the pub in which you worked, the very entrance to Diagon Alley. It was a godsend their home was above the shop and you wouldn’t have to see them come and go past your door. Despite being removed from their lives, you kept what tabs you could, especially after the war.

You’d seen Fred with a white sheet tucked over him, the sheet bloodied over his leg and dried blood at his temple. He’d been gone for a moment, George had said. They thought they’d lost him, they almost had. You were lucky to see him only sleeping and healing from his wounds. You’d made George promise that he’d never seen you there. One look at the pain in your eyes and George had nodded and let you go.

Now, you wished you would’ve stayed. You wanted to have held Fred’s hand until he woke and then you wanted to apologize for every lie you’d ever told him. Even now you found it hard to restrain yourself from heading to number 93 diagon alley and running into their shop only to fall to your knees and beg he understood why you lied and left him.

“Your shift ended ten minutes ago,” A gruff voice came from behind you and you shook yourself from you thoughts, looked to your boss, took your pay for the day, and then exited into the cool air of night. You could just as easily apparate home but you much preferred to walk. You liked to give yourself time to just be you. You didn’t have to pretend you and Ian were in love, you didn’t have to pretend you were happy with your life, you didn’t have to pretend that you weren’t in love with Fred Weasley.

You let a few tears fall but not enough to cause your eyes to grow puffy or your cheeks to become red. Ian had seen you cry enough as you both lamented on how you didn’t know how to leave one another when both of your families expected marriage, kids, happiness with each other. You didn’t want to make him feel like it was his fault, because you knew you made him just as miserable.

He wouldn’t expect you until late.

As you walked past the shop, you noticed that the main lights had been turned out but a few stayed lit on the inside as the twins walked around to catalog their product, clean up whatever mess had been made under the feet of children and adults alike, and then retire to their apartment upstairs. Only a small amount of shame burned in your veins as you took a seat that was cloaked in the shadow of night to watch the boys get to work. George was wearing an orange blazer and Fred had on a purple vest that fit him perfectly.

“She’s out there again,” George sing-songed to his twin as he looked from the corner of his eye to see your familiar profile leaning sitting on the curb across from their shop. It was cute that you thought the night alone was enough to hide you.

“Doesn’t matter,” Fred grunted, frown etched deeply into this features as George tried to get a rise from him. “She never comes in, don’t even know why she-”

“You know why Y/N sits out there,” George stated and Fred wanted to believe that George was right but it was hard to with those four words constantly bouncing around in his head. I don’t love you.

“She-”

“Bloody hell, you can say her name at least,” George scolded and Fred whirled around to meet his brother’s eye, stomping the ground with his cane.

“No! She made her choice and if she wants to right it then she has to take the first step. I wont say her blasted name until she gets the guts to tell me why she did it. I can’t love her if she’s always going to be under her family’s thumb and I’m sure I’ll hear about wedding invitations for her and that skinny bloke before I hear an explanation,”

“I think she wanted to when you were hurt- apologize and explain I mean,”

George was a good man and so for your sake he hadn’t told Fred immediately but Fred was his other half and neither of them kept the habit of keeping things from one another. Fred had been sulking in his bed one evening after finding an old necklace of yours mixed in with his things and he wasn’t even sure how the damn thing had managed to come with him from Hogwarts and stay tucked out of sight until he’d stumbled upon it.

It had thrown Fred for a loop and he’d silently cried into his firewhisky for nearly an hour before George had taken the thin chain from his brother’s hands and told him that you had never stopped loving him. Of course, you hadn’t told George that, but he could tell from the way you went pale at the sight of Fred unmoving. Fred had only been sleeping but the fear on your face had been palpable and heartbreaking.

It had helped ease the pain then but George knew now that Fred was waiting for something to prove that it wasn’t a lie, that you did still love him, that you’d been made somehow to leave him heartbroken.

“She’s leaving,” George sighed, nodding his head towards your back as you began to move towards your home which was another twenty minutes walk away.

“Good,” Fred hissed but as he looked after you he saw the heavy slump of your shoulders and the way your hair was falling loose from your ponytail and George say his twin’s gaze soften and melt.

“If you dont go and talk to her I’m going to bring her in here,”

“What? Hey!” Fred began to argue as George decided to take matters into his own hands if neither of you would. Fred had gotten quick enough with the use of his cane and he grabbed George’s arm to stop him from pushing open the door but his younger twin used this to his advantage and opened the door after pushing Fred against it.

“You git!” Fred hollered at the door, George now safely tucked inside with a smug grin. Fred went to grab his wand to unlock the door but George’s grin only grew wider as he waved Fred’s wand at him from behind the locked glass doors. “Let me in!”

Fred’s voice ricocheted off the buildings and you weren’t so far that you couldn’t hear the voice that you had missed dearly. It was a bit deeper now but you could still tell that it was his. You were frozen, feet paused on the cobblestone as Fred yelled at George. Why had George locked him out? You turned to watch as Fred shoved his shoulder against the door but with a sigh and a swing of his cane that did nothing to change George’s mind, Fred stopped yelling and stopped trying to get back in.

Fred looked down the street and found you were watching.

“He won’t let me in until I talk to you, you know,” Fred raised his voice just so you could hear him. You weren’t far but he couldn’t see the details of your face, couldn’t see what color shirt you had on under your jacket. Far enough that his voice didn’t quiver like he feared it would as he spoke his first words to you in years.

Your cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. Of course the both of them had seen you all the nights you’d spent as they’d closed up their shop. You hadn’t tried to stay hidden but you had hoped that a stranger on the street would escape their notice.

Your voice was caught in your throat but you took a step towards Fred, then two. Then you were arms length away from him and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. “He’s a git,” You finally achieved in speaking and Fred let out a bark of laughter.

“Years we haven’t talked and the first thing you say is an insult to my favorite person on the planet,” Fred chuckled, shaking his head good-naturedly when a sudden look of worry flashed on your face. “No, I suppose you’re right he is a bit of a git,”

“Didn’t mean to get you kicked out of the shop,”

“He was tired of me never saying anything when you....visit.” Fred decided on. Were you visiting? Watching? He wasn’t quite sure what your intentions were when you sat outside but he hoped it meant you missed him like he missed you.

“Fred I-”

“Did you know I found a necklace of yours a couple months ago? Somehow it’d gotten tangled on the thread of an old shirt of mine and I just stumbled upon it looking through my closet... Was a bit of a wreck after that. Must’ve been so pitiful because Georgie told me something I don’t think he was supposed to,”

“O-oh?” You squeaked, eyes growing wide with curiosity and a bit of fear. You still couldn’t read Fred. Was he upset? Was he sad? Or was he completely over it all? You weren’t sure how you’d feel if he had moved on completely. You prayed that what he had felt months ago finding your necklace was still present within his heart.

“Told me when I was sleeping after I’d been hurt that you’d come ‘round and just sat with me for a second before he’d come over. Said you didn’t want me knowing you’d been there. Why didn’t you want me knowing?”

His voice had become strained and his honey brown eyes followed your every move as you fidgeted in place, all the color vanished from your face.

“Didn’t think it would matter to you if I had been there or not, so why confuse you with the news that I had been there and scared to death that you were gone?” You choked out, thinking of Fred no longer being here to live and laugh and bring those things to other people was impossible to bear.

“I’ve been confused since the day you left me, Y/N,” Fred winced as your name rolled past his lips and you hated that you could see heartbreak in every line of his face and the slope of his lips.

“Was for your own good Freddie,” You said and you still believed it. “Still is, I know things are different after the war but my family is still- Well my mum and sister are still in control and I can’t-”

“Yeah, right,” Fred scoffed bitterly but let his eyes soften as he realized your father must have passed in the battle. “You can’t do anything without their permission. How's that going by the way? Does that poor guy you got strapped with realize you don’t love him? Does he even love you? Great way to live, Y/N,”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve Fred Weasley,” You sniffled, the venom in his words bringing tears to your eyes. “If I didn’t leave you, Emily would’ve destroyed your reputation, destroyed any chance of the two of you and George ever having this shop and destroyed you and I in the process. She’s not the most powerful witch but she’s got my mom’s money lining her pockets and enough of it to convince other people to listen to what she says. I left so you could live out your dream,”

“What about now? I’ve got the life I want and I’m not scared of your family, so why are you? Don’t you realize we could have figured something out together?”

“I just...things can’t be different,”

Fred watched you and he felt his stomach turn to steel. You truly believed nothing could ever change. He shook his head sadly, grounding his cane against the pebbles beneath his feet when his leg grew tired. His knuckles were white and hands cold. How long had you two been out here? Nothing had been solved and when Fred looked at you he felt like nothing ever could be. You’d given up.

“I want to love you Y/N, I do love you,” Fred admitted, watching your breath catch in your throat. “But when I look at you, I don’t see the girl I fell in love with. I-If I thought that you could leave what-his-name-”

“Ian,” You supplied for no reason other than to keep your tears at bay.

“If I thought that you could leave Ian and defy your mum, I’d ask you to be mine right away.”

“Why do you think that I can’t?” You wanted to reach out to him, to tell him you could figure out something, but the pit in the bottom of your gut was telling you otherwise. Even now you were scared of your family.

“You know why. Or should I ask you to be mine?”

“I am yours,” You chewed on your lip, unable to meet his eyes as you spoke the truth. “Never stopped being yours, but-”

Fred scoffed. “Exactly... It’s always going to be something Y/N. I miss you and trust me I do love you but if you can’t promise that you aren’t going to spook at the first sign of trouble from your family then I don’t think we can be together again,”

“What if I lied to them?” You begged, finally getting enough courage to grab Fred’s arm and you felt your stomach flip as you caught scent of his cologne. He hadn’t changed it since school.

“I deserve more than that,” Fred sighed. “I can’t be a secret, Y/N. And I know it wouldn’t be everyone but what does that lie mean? Does that lie mean you’ll stay with Ian and I’ll just be a late night call after you’re done with work? Does it mean I’ll only go to your place when he’s gone? I can’t be that for you,”

“Y-you’re right,” You sighed and Fred felt his heart break all over again. You wouldn’t change, not even for him.

“Goodbye Y/N,”

And with that, he was shuffling back into his shop, the door having been unlocked the second Fred had turned away from it.

Not trying to hide your tears this time, you apparated home and when Ian caught your eye, he didn’t ask. You locked yourself in your bedroom and didn’t come out.

“It’s too bloody early for this,” Fred grumbled, head pounding and eyes burning as he shuffled from his bed to his apartment’s door. Neither of the twins usually got visitors past the lobby of the shop so he was surprised when a rapid knocking had rung out while he’d been sulking in his arm chair.

George had awarded him the day off with a, “Get back in bed, you’ll scare off a;; the customers today and I don’t feel like losing the money.” Fred was thankful for it after he’d spent the previous day in bed after he’d spoken with you. Why hadn’t he been enough for you?

His scowl was ready on his face when he flung the door open. You stood there with a bashful smile and without a second thought, Fred slammed the door closed.

“Haven’t you done enough damage?” Fred asked through the wood.

“George let me up,” You called back.

“Doesn’t mean I want to see you,” He shot back and your heart lurched uncomfortably.

“What if I told you you wouldnt be a secret? That I spent the last two days removing myself from my family and moving to a different flat? That I’m a coward and a fool but I know better now and I don’t ever want to let you go again, if you’ll have me....”

“I’d say that’s a bit quick,” Fred mumbled, eyebrows knit together as he opened the door back and you let out a breath of relief. He was listening at least.

“Been wanting to leave them for ages, been ready to just vanish at the drop of a hat but I never had the courage and I didn’t think I had it but you’re right and I’m not living much of a life. I’m tired of being their puppet and I’m tired of breaking the heart of someone I only want to make happy,”

“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,”

You hated seeing Fred so guarded but you knew he had more than enough reasons to be. You’d been terrible to him and made him believe that he couldn’t believe a word you said. The lies were over now.

“I love you Fred Weasley and I left once to protect your future but now I’m back and asking you to let me protect your heart,”

When Fred wrapped his arms around you and held tight, you squeezed back just as ferociously. Never again would you make him feel like you didn’t love him with everything within you. If your mother and sister tried to ruin your happiness, you would have him by your side to fight back.

You finally felt at home.

#fred weasley xreader #fred x reader #fred weasley #fluff #angst #request

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normiewrites · 5 years ago

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happy birthday katsuki! despite it being such a joyous occasion, i wrote something pretty down in the dumps. i dont wanna explain the plot and hope you all understand it, or not, doesnt matter as long as it made u feel something cause i felt nothing writing this. i tried making it more realistic than fiction and im pretty proud of it.

prompt was taken from @daily-prompts

thanks for beta reading @savnofilter @kingtamakimurder !

other tags: @mci-writing @lady-bakuhoe @mutantjournalist @assortedanime

warning(s): its kinda depressing, angst, smut, fwb, drugs (not too much)

‘when is it ok to steal something?’ - bakugo katsuki x (fem)reader

you didn’t know when you started noticing it all. but you did, whether you liked it or not. the way that the newspaper cut outs would hang lazily off his dull yellow walls, the gravity forcing them to bend over like worshipers. or the way that the green big grenades on his desk were more roughed up than you were with the drugs in your system. or the way that his left calloused hand was always so tightly held onto your waist, leaving bruises for the next day as memories, while his right robotic one barely ghosted your skin, as if he was trying not to accept the truth.

but the biggest thing you noticed was how empty everything was inside of him. you believed that you didn’t have any choice but to notice these things, because you were constantly only being fucked doggy style, never to face him and only the blank sheets beneath you. or maybe because it was to distract you from the cold droplets of water that would rain onto your back in small amounts. he always cried and maybe that’s why he never wanted you to face him, to never see how his tears pulled out his broken soul for you to see.

it was always like this, and each time, you would never get closer. you’d meet him in the parking lot near your apartment. it was a big and lonely parking lot, the streetlamps barely working as they flicked on and off, like the universe was sending you a morse code. he would always be ten minutes late no matter what time you would reach. maybe it was because he wanted to guarantee your existence, to know that you’ll be there waiting for him, like he was scared that if he showed his eagerness, it would make you run away.

was he even eager to ever meet you? you wouldn’t really care, not because he was a good fuck and gave good prices for your drugs, but because you couldn’t. he was always a mirage, there for you to see but not touch and despite how hard he would rut his hips against your ass, he could never be close enough to capture.

there was never any time for ‘talking’. he always got straight to the point once he picked you up. smoking a few blunts in his living room before taking off both of your clothes and proceeding to his bedroom. neither of you would ever mutter a word yet you both knew what each other wanted. it was a ritual now. you always picked the easiest clothes to take off, not even bothering to wear a bra, and he liked it that way. most boys would, they’d find it hot and alluring, always aroused with how you planned to get down. but bakugo liked it because it meant he would spend less time close to you. it would mean he would have to use his prosthetic arm less.

you felt like you knew nothing about him. or maybe you knew too much to be true. the news paper cut outs would be all about the pro-heroes’ stories. deku, uravity, red riot, grand and many more. but most of them were about all-might. at first, you would’ve thought that he was just a fan boy and loved to keep track on the hero society. but the more times you came over and looked at them, the more you realised that they were pinned up so wrong. they were hung with sorrow and regret, pins in the wrong positions like he was playing darts while drunk. why did he do that? why did he pin them up with more pain than joy? was he actually drunk or was his past controlling his future?

it was amusing to you, the way he would make you feel so good and satisfied yet so lost and yearning. you weren’t even yearning something for yourself, rather for him. no matter how hard or how longed you yearned, you could never understand what it was for, and neither did he. of course, you never asked him about it, because the first few times you did, either you were told to leave or he would just straight up ignore you.

however, this night was different. you were going to hold your ground against him and find out the truth, because while it felt so good to be filled by his warm actions, it was all so empty and felt like there was no purpose as time went on. maybe this new found confidence was due to having the pro-hero deku walk by you on the street during patrol, or maybe because you wanted to desperately know what was on the photo frame that he always put down before giving into your urges.

“katsuki!” you moaned softly, moaning as he pressed a searing hot kiss against your neck, smoke gliding out of his mouth and tickling your chin as his hands massaged your ass.

you had gotten to the use of the cold metal of his prosthetic hand against your skin, in fact you found it slightly pleasing of the contrast in temperatures of both of his hands. maybe that’s why he kept you around; you were the only one who accepted him like that without questioning it. you couldn’t care to question it, you were a quirkless girl in a quirk filled world, nothing was shocking anymore. besides, you found it kind of cool. if only you knew how cursing it was.

the night was hot and urgent, the both of you were tearing each other’s clothes as you sat atop his lap on the sofa in the living room. the cheap material of the sofa dug into your knees as you grinded against his hard and restrained boner, moaning against his cheek, not caring for the sweat that accumulated on his forehead. you both had never kissed. it was one of the two rules that he had put from his side. no kissing, and no facing him. you had respected them as he respected yours, but the time you both spent together wanted you to be a rebel and break down those walls.

you giggled softly, the feeling of your high running through your body like silk on freshly shaven skin overriding your usual thoughts and stresses as you heard the familiar tear of your panties, a rough mark being left behind on your skin.

“you’re giving me the next 10 grams free, that was expensive, katsuki” you whispered, tugging on his hair as he growled softly at your name, leaving rough kisses against your collarbone and breasts.

katsuki liked having you around. you didn’t talk too much, didn’t question the mess of his room and silently adored his prosthetic arm, no matter how much he hated it. you were simple and not demanding yet you could pull out so many explicit moans from him. but the most important part is that you didn’t push about the tears that always seemed to find their way onto your bare back. you were comforting, almost too comforting that at times it alarmed the scared animal in his heart.

after sharing a few more rounds of blunts and hickeys, you felt the familiar nudge of his arms, his signal to tell you to go on all fours, never to face him for the rest of the night. but something inside of you stirred up, almost like you were being controlled from an outside force. you found your hands pinning his against the backrest of the sofa, a confused look shooting through his red eyes, his blonde eyebrows furrowing underneath his matching hair.

he moved to speak up but you cut him off, “please, just for tonight. i promise, i won’t judge, just please.”

you didn’t realise you were closing your eyes tight until you saw the sudden intrusion of red and blonde in your vision once his gruff answer snapped them open.

“why?”

least to say, bakugo was nervous. he had never felt this nervous since his surgery day. he couldn’t even believe you made him nervous, it was so stupid to him. his younger self wouldn’t be as nauseous as he is now, but then again, lots had changed and he wasn’t like him anymore.

“your face is just so pretty, i wonder how much prettier it gets with tears falling down” you muttered, holding his face in your palms as your thumbs brushed his cheekbones.

you were so close to him, much to close for his liking. well at first, it was too close, but he soon recognized the spike in his heart was the fact that he was exhilarated by your statement. he knew that you knew he cried, and he felt too ashamed to show you. but there was no hiding now, there was no point.

despite the soft blush that adorned his cheeks and the furrowing of his brows, he kept his face the same. it was like he had the inability to change his face, like he was wearing those clay face masks that would restrict movement. it was the expression of when you get laid-off from a job that you worked so hard for and was praised by your bosses for.

you nearly thought that you ruined the night as he backed his face out of your hands, his eyes looking elsewhere. now it was your turn to be nervous. the air was so still, unlike his red eyes as they tried to look for something to lock onto, to anchor him and help him make his decision.

“fine” was all you heard before you felt him lift you up slightly, aiding him and standing on your knees as he shifted his sweatpants and boxers down, his eyes still not on yours.

you couldn’t comprehend what happened, not only because of how surprising his reaction was, but because of how less time he gave you before slipping his cock into your wet hole. the action was so simple yet so satisfying, just like you.

“katsuki!” you moaned loudly, your fingers going over the small scars that littered around his undercut till they reached his blonde top, pulling on them.

it was hot and desperate, the way that he would quickly get to work on your nipples as he would thrust up into you and how you would roll against his hips, tugging on his hair and nipping on his ears. you fully understood how much you had been missing out on, how close it finally felt. the way that his arms would snake up against your back, pulling your chest closer to his face, even managing to angle his cock deeper. there was just one bridge left to cross and it was the man himself below you.

he was thankful for how loud your moans were to cover up his sniffles, and it was an odd feeling as his cold tears raced down your chest to your belly rather than on your back. and like before, you weren’t going to ignore this.

and like before, it didn’t feel like they were your actions as you had tugged his face up, connecting his lips to yours before he could say anything to stray you away. his lips were chapped and motionless against yours and you tasted the saltiness of his tears that had reached the cavern. it was so hot yet empty, just like him.

“what the fuck, y/n?” he asked, the nature of the words contrasting from how soft his voice was and how tired his eyes looked.

neither of you noticed how both of you stopped, the lust gone just like the rules that you had broken. if you could describe his face in terms of a colour, it would be grey. it was so sullen, tear marked and conflicting, just like thunderstorms.

“who are you, bakugo katsuki?” you asked, hands gracing his bare collarbones as you searched his face for answers. but it wasn’t like you were going to find any, because there weren’t any. hopefully one day though, you could make some for him, or at least he hoped that.

he completely ignored your question, sighing softly as he rested his forehead on your chest, not bothering to clear up his eyes.

“tell me, y/n, when is it okay to steal something?”

when was it okay to steal something? maybe it was okay when people got what they wanted through injustice manners. or maybe if it was something needed for an emergency, of course not that the cost of others. but then again what was stealing? poets would call it love, judges would call it a crime, thieves would call it a life.

you had so many answers that you didn’t want to say any, because what if the other was a better choice? so you stayed quiet, letting him fill the silence this time.

“tell me, y/n, when was it okay to steal my parents? when was it okay to steal my arm? when was it okay to steal my fucking life?”

the pain that rippled through your body was enough to ignore the snot and the buckets of tears that fell down your chest. in fact, it was too much, making your own eyes water, your hands instinctively rubbing his warm and firm back. who was he? the answer was too broad. too complicated. too scarring. it was all about him and nothing about him.

you didn’t mind the way that he gripped your arms, because the bruises would be nothing compared to what he went through. so, you pulled him close to you, letting him shake against you and cry against your neck.

bakugo didn’t know why he was opening up to someone like you. you both were just supposed to be fuck buddies, nothing else, and yet you had broken him down, and he fell voluntarily. maybe it was because of your quirklessness, or how observant and patient you were with him. but like many other unknown answers that night, it couldn’t matter to him, because you understood or at least wanted to. he needed you.

he needed a reason to live again.

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khristinewriteandcapture · 4 years ago

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Series Reviews (2020)

23. It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Are you okay?

How many times did you answered this question truthfully?

When something happened to us and people tend to get worried, they always asked this question and because we dont want them to keep worrying, I think we always say the wrong answer because its part of being human.

Saying you're okay even if your not has been the problem of people not only today but even years ago. We say okay even if we're hurt physically, mentally or emotionally. Maybe to avoid being pitied, being a burden to others or we just want to look stronger.

But that's exactly the problem of being human. We say things we dont mean. We always say the complete opposite of what we really mean specially in the moment when someone might also be hurt with to our response.

But it's okay.

It's okay to not be okay.

I've watched many movies and series saying that it's not embarrasing to say what you actually feel inside. I'm also currently watching a series about depression and how it can lead to death. And this kinds of series are trying to tells us that taking your own life is not the solution to every problem you kept facing on your own.

It's okay. Everything will be okay. It's nice to hear words like that right specially if it's spoken by someone close to us, right?

This korean drama doesnt only have the best actor to play the part of the main cast but also, they also made the characters connect with the viewers. Every single characters. From the main lead to the last supporting character. No one was a display. Everyone contributed and I think that's what makes a great story.

I think this has been the most meaningful Korean drama I had ever watched, next to Reply 1988 and Itaewon Class. It made me cried every episode. And it clearly deserved the praises it gets every day.

The whole story was also refreshing because of the fairytales involved in every episodes. The mixture of a story to another story was a great idea of creating a new and unique one, I guess.

As I said that everyone contributed to the story, I would like to share my thought on each and everyone of them. And I think, this is going to be longer than Itaewon Class or Reply 1988.

Everyone has their stories to tell and this drama really told everybody's story. I would like to tell everyone's story here but I think, that is too much spoiler. So, I'll just give you what's unique and special about the main cast and some supporting characters.

1. Jae-Su. The ever loyal friend of Gang-Tae. He's like the best best friend anyone dreamed of having. I mean, with his business, you can have free chicken or pizza anytime. But I'm still curious how rich he is. Every time the brothers move, he also moved with them and open and close a business again and again. He felt sometimes felt tired but he never complained because he liked being with them. Following them was not an issue for Jae-su. He can follow them even at the end of the Earth. Because they're family and not blood of surname can keep them from being one.

He's a very loyal and trustworthy friend. I cant believe he actually followed them for ten years of his life. Maybe that's the result of being too attached. You cant never seem to let go and even if you can, you wont.

2. Mr. Lee Sang-In, the business minded CEO of the publishing company, Ko Mun-yeong worked at but as time passed, he turned out to be a thoughtful and caring person.

He also stick together with Ko Mun-yeong through the years. He have a kind heart which was buried in his business like stance who only cared about money in the beginning. He was also dependable and always thinks about others even if he doesn't want to. And he looked better without a beard.

3. After the CEO, let's move over to Seung-Jae which happened to be the most in demand actress I've seen in almost 3 dramas already this year.

First was in While You Were Sleeping (I think), then in Backstreet Rookie and then here. Anyway, her character her was slow in her work but quick witted when it comes everything not related to work. She's adorably dumb and you'll get to laugh a lot with her and Lee Sang-in's combo.

She might hate her boss but she doesn't also want him or Ko Mun-yeong to suffer. And also, she don't have anywhere to go to that's why she stick with them.

4. So, next is Nam Ju-ri. I hate her.

Wait, let me repeat that. I hated her. Yep. And you'll know why if you watch this or if you had, I'm right, right?

But, all is well. Maybe because she just want her feelings to be reciprocated. She's actually really nice despite of wanting to be not. She just wanted to lean on someone other than her mother. She's lonely. She worked taking care of others and she just wanted someone to take care of her too. We all wanted that right.

5. Let's not forget the mother of all, Kang Soon-duk.

She had appeared in a lot of dramas. She would be this rich mother who don't want her soon to like a poor girl, the mother from a simple family who often beat her child out of love, the cool mom where everyone would dreamed of. She had been named as ‘the ultimate eommoni/mother’.

She was effective. But anyway, her character here is the mother of not only one child but the mother of everyone in the drama. She takes care of the three lead, her daughter, her tenant and everyone in the hospital. It was tiring for someone like her but also magical because she was able to do it.

6. Director Oh has been a great part of the whole drama.

Even though he looked and sounded like a not effective doctor sometimes, everything he says made sense. He often look foolish but he's the smartest fool in the hospital.

After the supporting has been called for, let's move to the three musketeers–I mean, the three main cast. The emotionless princess, the masked boy and the boy trapped in the box or simple Ko Mun-yeong, Moon Gang Tae and Moon Sang Tae.

Three lonely people brought together to became whole. Who said two is better than one. Make it three for more fun.

It was chaotic. That's the description for the three. A crazy girl, a calm but explosive guy and an adult but living in a kid's personality.

Watching this drama felt like you're about to go crazy too. After crying in an intense scene, you'll catch yourself laughing after and serious the next minute. I mean, every Korean drama does that. That's why everyone has the k-drama virus. Everyone is crazy now.

Anyway, Sang-Tae or the boy in the trapped box.

He's a special trait that makes him different from others. He tend to think as a child sometimes but he's also talented and smart. He might act like a kid but you'll also be surprised of how he can be an adult.

He loved his brother so much but also hates him to which is natural for brother right?

He happened to have a severe trauma which add to the burden of his brother but as the brave brother he is, he wanted to overcome it and be the adult he really is. His characters was really inspiring and heartwarming. His presence gives off a ray of sunshine. I admire the actor who played him because he played it well. I hope if he will ever get an award for it. I really hope he will.

After the boy trapped in the box, let's talk about the Emotionless Princess whose not really emotionless but full of emotions and craziness.

Ko Mu-yeong's characters gave the drama full of craziness and funny sides. Her adult lines and provoking scenes are the best. She totally likes provoking Gang-tae and even though it's all scripted, it was so funny that it can be remembered all the time. Some scene had become memes now.

Ko Mun-yeong's characters was tough and powerful but behind that, she's still a girl whose scared and defenseless when no one's watching. She found sanctuary and safety when she met Gang-tae. For the first time, she wanted to be taken care of after all the years of not feeling anything.

She's lonely and constantly in pain from the past. She's still the little girl stuck in the castle waiting for someone to rescue her.

And lastly, Moon Gang-tae, our masked boy.

I think he's the complete opposite of Peter Pan. He needed to grew up faster than anyone to take care of his brother. He didn't had time to be a kid or to enjoy his youth because of the only family he have.

He cursed the life he had until finally he understand and accepted the reason why he had to have this family. It maybe crazy and a handful, it's still worth fighting for.

All he wanted was everyone to be safe with his care and even set aside his own dreams for it. He regretted not doing his dreams but he's contented with everything he had at the moment and that's all that matters.

Life might throw stones at you from time to time to test if your strong enough to conquer it not to avoid it.

And if something doesn't feel right, don't be afraid to talk about it. You'll be surprise of the result once you let it all out. Never be afraid to let people in and also let them go. The end might also be the start of a new beginning.

Seriously, watch this. It's a must! Maybe 10 years from now, people will look back how great this drama was and even though 2020 was the worst year of all, this was made in that year. It will be part of history.

#seriews reviews #its okay to not be okay #korean drama recommendations #seo yi ji #kim soo hyun #netflix recommendation #love #mental health #family #friendship

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angelcorebabyowo · 4 years ago

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Can I have a ride home, I'm at a party and I dont know anyone...

Paring: RemRom

Words: 2771

Chapters:1[or 2]/ ???

Warnings: cursing, somewhat unsympathetic light sides from how you look at it,

oman knew this was a bad idea, he knew going to this dance was a bad idea, he knew that his friends would most likely stand him up, trust me he did. What he didn't expect was to be sitting on the gym bleacher gently crying his eyes out. He didn't expect his brand new dress to be ripped or the heel of his heels to just tear off because he fell. Despite his shaking so much he mages to get his phone and call up his brother, one of the only people he cares about anymore and puts the phone up to his ears begging for someone to answer. Tears had started flowing more freely now, no control to him, and had started full-on sobbing.

"You've reached the trash can! Leave a message after the beep!" was all that came from the other line and Roman almost threw his phone. He tried one more time and it finally worked and he nearly jumped when it worked. The sound of Remus' voice put a smile on his face despite the circumstance.

"Hey whats u- wait, are you crying?" The voice on the other line was hoarse and sounded as if they just chugged a gallon of those drink packets. Just like Remus. He had stayed home seeing as he had gotten expelled earlier in the year for beating up one of the kids who picked on roman and sent them to the hospital, he was lucky that no charges had been pressed, although it was bad enough the school board hadn't wanted him to come back unless he pulled that stunt again.

"They stood me up!" Roman cries and tries to form a ball but the bleachers hadn't given much room to so much as move another inch, "Told me I was too annoying to hang out with them anymore!" he knew it sounded childish but that was the exact wording, and he wasnt about to back down.

"Who do they think they are!" both of them said at the same time, although, Remus sounded angrier than Roman. Roman made a sound that sounded a bit like a whimper at the tone, he never did like it.

"Look, I'm in the middle of something right now, and by that I mean I just woke up. I'll pick you up in a few minutes. Do you want me to stay on the line, or will you be alright?" Remus asks his tone of voice nearly completely changing after he heard Roman's reaction to it before. He might have been an asshole but not enough to fully harm his brother during their weakest point, he would never swoop that low.

"Can you um..Can you stay on the phone?" Roman wasn't crying anymore but he was still sniffling up a storm and it was apparent with every word. He had a small problem with being alone when he was in the state. He knew he couldn't do anything but it still made him beyond uncomfortable to be alone.

"Alright then, go and wash your face off to get all the snot off of it" Remus exclaims, Roman could hear him getting up and his bones popping in the prosses, "You're a messy crier"

Roman does just that well at least walks to the bathroom, wincing and hissing as he walked to the bathroom, he refused to take his shoes off so every step was painful and he nearly started crying again.

"What's the damage? I hear you hissing, sound like Dee" He heard Remus ask him, it was muffled due to the phone not being directly on his ear and more on his shoulder. Dee, Or Jauns Lawrenson, was their mutual friend who had graduated last year and was currently going to Law school or something like that. Neither of them paid enough attention to their friend's career to tell anyone about it.

"My shoe broke and my dress has a gnarly rip in it, luckily the dress looks pre-ripped, can't say the same for the shoes." Roman practically growls annoyed that his favourite outfit was remotely ruined."Stop laughing! It's not funny! It's not fucking funny!" He practically shouts as he gets into the unisex bathroom and locks the door. Luckily there was only one stall so it wasn't like anyone would barge in on him or yell at him for being too loud.

He slowly sets the phone down on the sink and moves to turn the water on, his movements were slow as if he didn't know if he wanted to turn the handle. In all honesty, he didn't want to, he didn't want to hear the noise of it right now, but looking in the mirror at his face he knew he needed to do it. His eyeliner had smeared and his mascara had dripped down to his cheeks and with how much he's rubbed them it was smugged in more places than one on his face.

"It's alright, look I'll tell you a trick that helps me. Paper towels. Get them as wet as you can and then turn the water off when it's as full as it can be, that way the water isn't on for that long and the struggle of everything isn't as bad as it would be!" Remus says cheerfully. Roman could hear the car door close and the engine start. "Want me to pick up Dee? I doubt he'd mind if so!"

He'd never be more relived for Remus to get behind the wheel, and the thought of Dee being there sounded beyond amazing, but it was always just a little too loud with all three of them in the car."No! Just you is enough, hurry up, would you? All the lights are hurting my head, I'll meet you out front"

"I'm also bringing you some pyjamas so that you don't freeze to death tonight. Love you, I'll see you soon" Remus says quickly before hanging up the phone. He had said it so many times in the past, the simple phrase 'I love you' although, it sounded a bit more affectionate today, Roman didn't question it.

After 10 minutes of scrubbing his face raw to get the makeup off he finally got a text from Remus alerting that he was outside. With that Roman practically runs out and to the car and quickly gets the passengers seat and groans as the somewhat to warm hits him, he gently sings into the seat not even putting his seatbelt on. He looks at the roof with a somber expression, it wasn't a good look on him at all.

"That bad huh?"Remus asks handing Roman MacDonald's bag and a normal Walmart bag "I picked you up a cheeseburger and a small fry, would've picked up a happy meal but I didn't know if you would've wanted that. Plus I know damn well you didn't eat anything today, don't play dumb with me. You also got some fuzzy bottoms and a paw-patrol shirt because I couldn't find the normal clothes, Hope that's alright." Remus started driving as Roman dug into his food. The other twin was right, after all, he hadn't had anything all day because of his nerves.

"Yeah it's all right, my guy," Roman says with a big bite of food in his mouth, a smile was now playing at the corners of his lips now instead of a frown. He then changed his shirt, not even carrying if people could see him do it. He wasn't a particularly interesting site to see after all, the only intresting part would be a scar over his heart from a surgery a few years back.

"Don't talk with your mouth full. Not polite" Remus says with a breathy laugh as he continued to drive, he was driving to the beach because he knew that was Roman's favorite place, most definitely at night. He just wanted to see the other happy again .

Roman rests his head on the window as the streetlights, and the city in general, fade into a bleak nothingness. He was used to it, he and Remus drove this same route nearly every night. Not under the same circumstances, of course, just on the nights Roman couldn't sleep or if Remus dragged him out of another midnight adventure. Tonight, after the prom fiasco, had the same calming air to it as all of the other times did. Roman sat up slightly, still making sure to slouch just enough to not touch the top of the seat so that he was still comfortable.

The music from the radio was soft enough to make the car seem a little bit alive. The twins' silence was never an awkward one it was, more often than not, a comfortable one. This didn't mean they enjoyed it though. It was Remus who broke the silence, it typically was, and smiled over at him. It was awkward seeing as the "elder" had sharpened his canines to a vampire-ish point on summer and now continues to do it anytime it somewhat goes dull. Roman did the same thing, although, he was too much of a wuss to do it for more than that summer so his teeth had dulled a lot in that area.

"I'm not going to ask you again Ro, what flavour milkshake do you want?" Remus questions as he pulls into a Rallys parking lot, not wanting to go to the drive-through without knowing the full order "If you same say some shit like vanilla I'm going to leave you in this parking lot."

"Jokes of you, I hate Vanilla milkshakes. Banana and can you ask for extra whipped cream" Roman says laughing softly and sits up completely before crossing his legs. He felt better now, and with the promise of something sweet his entire mood changed even more. "And I'll give you ten bucks when you get home if you get me a thing of funnel fries, like a small thing, not even a medium"

"I'll get you a medium shake and a small thing of those fries," Remus says with fake disgust, in all honesty, hed most likely steal a few of Roman's "How can you even eat those things? Think of all of the parasites that are in that dough"

"This is coming from the guy who drank the pond water from my science project!" Roman says with a smug smile. a few years ago Remus, as a dare, drank an entire jar of muddy pond water leaving him in the hospital for a month with several bacterial infections and nearly died. Roman was lucky Remus found it funny or hed most likely would have gotten slapped.

"Ugh- don't remind me, I'm still trying to pay off all of those hospital bills!" Remus groans sadly before pulling into the drive-through line before quickly saying his order and playing and getting his change back, he then got the food just as fast because it had been only them and it seemed pretty much deserted at the time. He quickly drove off mumbling something about how the workers seemed mean and he should go back and give them a piece of his mind.

"Ah shut up and give me my food," Roman says and practically snatches the bag from Remus' lap with a small smile and keeps it on his side. He wasn't being mean it was more of a playful/teasing type if anything. He was rarely mean to his brother but when he was it was for typically good reason, or he just wanted to be a nuisance. "None for you!"

"Little shit!" Remus says laughing fondly before reaching over and stealing one of the fries and plopping it in his mouth before taking a sip of his milkshake "Before everything, want to go home or do you just want to ride around? We don't have anything big planned so it's not like we have to even wake up early. I was going to bring us to the beach but I'm pretty sure we'd get chased off by those snobby rich guys again." "Want to risk it to see if they do?"

"Nah, knowing them they'd press charges or some shit trespassing and I don't feel like getting arrested tonight"

"You're no fun anymore!" Roman wines

"Finnnnneee We'll go later when there's no chance of us getting caught! That better Little prince?"

"Hell yes! now come on start driving faster!" Roman says with a grin looking over at Remus before turning up the radio and practically bouncing in his seat. He had heard that nickname so many times it might as well had been his name, it was a reference to one of his favourite story as a kid and even to this day "Our song!" Roman quickly rolled down the window and started tosing scream the lyrics to "tongue-tied by Grouplove" it was rarely played on the radio but when it did Roman made sure to sing it.

It had a good summer and over the top entry they could both get behind

"Let me guess, you want me to sing along with you?" Remus says laughing softly before rolling down his window as well as the other two windows. If the two of them were going to be loud they were going to be so loud that the entire neighbourhood they had been driving through was going to have to file a noise complaint on a random beat-up car that drove through the neighbourhood. and started screaming the lyrics. "Take me to your best friends house! Loved you then and I loved you AND I LOVED YOU NOW!" They both sung that part ith all of their heart, Roman was playing the air guitar and Remus jamming out while thumping on the wheel as he drove. The car was filled with the two Teens laughing their asses off as the music practically blasted as they screamed and laughed just as hard. For a moment they forgot about everything that ever happened to them as they jammed out.

Everything was perfect in that time and space.

Eventually, everything calmed down and Roman yawned and leaned back looking at the ceiling closing his eyes slightly and took a sip from his now melted Milkshake. "This was fun Re-"

"Really? I think it was the best experience we will ever have in this plane of existence."Remus says pulling into the driveway and parked the car, they didn't go to the beach seeing how late it had gotten and both had started to get overly drowsy "And yeah, it was fun for me as well. Want me to carry you or are your legs good enough?"

"Carry me" Roman whispers tiredly and making grippy hands in Remus' direction "Please?"

Remus took the keys out and got out of the car before walking over to Roman's side and helps them out and picks them up bridal style."You good?"

"Always am Rem, now hurry up before I spit in your face for moving to slow. "

"Oh you know I love it when you spit on me"

"Ugh! Shut up and get a move on, would you!"

Remus laughs as he walks into the house, it was unlocked because Remus kept losing the front door key, and then walks to Roman's room and flops them on the bed. "You going to sleep or want me to keep the light on? I'll most likely not come back for a few minutes because I have to go fix up the car," he asks walking over to the light switch. They shared a room because Neither Remus nor Roman had the strength to clean out, or sleep, in their parents' old room after they died despite it being years ago.

"Off, yeah off," Roman says softly nuzzling into the blanket cocoon he already managed to get himself into. His mind was practically mush at this point so he didn't feel like talking

"Goodnight sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite," Remus says turning the lights off fully.

Roman snorts "Goodnight Rem! Don't let them bite you either!"

Remus fondly rolls his eyes and playfully blows a kiss and closes the door and sighing softly as he hears the tiny click. He slowly walks back to the car to get all of the stuff and runs back inside and puts the stuff into the tiny kitchen before going to the room flopping down on his bed and looks over at Roman who seemed to be peacefully sleeping. He smiled and wrapped himself in his own blankets before finally falling asleep.

#im really proud of this but be free to drag it through the dirt and then some #remrom #romrem #crosspost #originally on ao3 #this is two chapters but im weird so its one on here #remus sanders #ts roman #ts Roman #ts remus #highschool au #slow burn #long post #2771 words of shit

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coffee-mugz · 5 years ago

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Inspired by: This post!

Warning: cursing, mention of alcohol and murder (dont worry, nothing serious at all.)

Pairing: Remus x Virgil

Note: Firstly, this is unedited, secondly, I do not own these characters! They belong to Thomas.

Today was December 19th at around 8 PM.

For others, it was a normal day. A fine winter day with a faint dust of snow and chilly weather. Christmas ornaments and decorations were set up everywhere in the suburban neighborhood, lighting up the otherwise gloomy streets. Families were getting prepared for the holidays and children were excitingly nearing their winter breaks. A normal day.

But for Virgil, it was in fact a very important day. It was the day he'd turn 18, the day he'd first meet his soulmate. Well, "meet" was a bit of an exaggeration. Okay, maybe a lot, but switching emotions with their fated other for an hour was as interesting as it is useless.

And, as the time ticked nearer to 8:12, Virgil felt a rise of guilt and fear bubble up in his chest. And suddenly, everything was too much for him to bear.

The brightly flashing Christmas lights seemed to absolutely tear through his vision, too bright for him to completely register.

The laughter and cheers from the party- his birthday party- were too loud. They flooded his brain and his head pounded.

And he's reminded of those awful thoughts of doubt, his mind spiraling downwards into a dark pit he couldn't avoid.

What would they think of me?

Should I eat?

Would they think I'm eating too much?

Do I look bad?

Do I look fat?

Am I talking too much?

What if they dont like my smile?

My smile is ugly.

My makeup doesn't fit in.

My clothes look strange.

I don't fit in.

I'm strange.

Why would they want to talk to me?

My soulmate-

My soulmate will feel this.

What do I do?!

I dont want them to feel miserable.

They're going to hate me.

They're going to blame me.

What if they're doing something important right now?

What if I ruined their life by giving them a panic attack?

Virgil flinched, feeling a hand suddenly land on his shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. A faint whisper of alcohol could be smelled behind him, and judging the fact he hadn't brought any alcohol here since he (and almost everybody else) was underage, he already knew who it was.

"Virgin?" A deep voice called his "nickname"- if it even could be called one.

"R-Re-" Virgil stuttered, his breath still rather rapid and his heartbeat nearly exploding.

It was Remus. His best friend since middle school... and his not-so-secret teeny tiny crush.

Sure enough, Remus popped in front of him, one hand holding a bottle of beer while the other seemed to have dropped his deodorant.

"How you doing, birthday boy~? I brought the other little shits some alcohol so they could finally- woah there. You good, Virgin?" Remus ranted to him, before abruptly stopping, seeing Virgil's teary eyes and smudges makeup.

Remus took a glance at Virgil's chest, noticing it rising and falling rather rapidly despite it being mostly coveted up with Virgil's oversized hoodie.

Remus put down his bottle on a nearby coffee table, stretching his arms out as a sign that the shaking boy could hug him.

"You need some time- upstairs- away from all this shit? I get it. Roman can be such a dick-face sometimes, I want to toss him out of a ten story building too." Virgil laughed, graciously taking Remus's offer and hugging him.

Remus was warm- really warm. All of Virgil wanted to do at the moment was keep snuggling into his arms, confess even, but he knew he couldn't do that to Remus, who was waiting for nearly 2 years for his soulmate to pop up. He was a rare case, having an age gap with his soulmate. Virgil couldn't take away Remus' fated other, especially when he had been waiting for so long. That would be robbing Remus's future partner.

"Let's go to Mr. Virgin's super dark lair to see what kind of toys he has hidden away-" Remus said, quiet so that nobody else heard it, but loud enough for Virgil to punch him in the chest.

"Oof! So it looks like be got a naughty one here!" Remus let go, much to Virgil's disappointment, to dramatically clutch his chest, as if he'd been stabbed.

Virgil grabbed him by the sleeve, too afraid to make direct skin contact again in fear of Remus thinking he was strange, and dragged both of them up to his room.

Although Virgil's breathing had become more stable, his heart was still racing and his adrenaline rush has yet to fully wear off. A faint thump of guilt emerged in his chest, though he didn't know why.

Soon enough, they were by themselves, locked in a room where the only colors you could see are purple, black, or grey, accompanied by a rather Halloween type of astethic despite it being Christmas.

Virgil sat himself down on the bed, making enough space for Remus to sit tight next to him. He tossed his purple spiderweb blanket on top of the two of them and took the opportunity to lean on Remus's shoulder, panicking as he felt his ear brush against bear skin.

Virgil jolted upwards, staring at Remus, who was somehow wearing a tank top now. Virgil's eyes dashed across the room, spotting Remus's unruly leather jacket on the ground, long discarded.

"What? Emo boy can't handle my hots?" Remus asked, and Virgil could only roll his eyes and pull a bit of blanket up, so that he could lean on Remus without physically touching him.

Who knows how much farther his emotions would spike if he were to have skin-to-skin contact like before? It's already too late to stop, seeing as it was already his birthday.

Man, does time fly by fast.

"So, wanna talk about it?" Remus asked, sticking a piece of deodorant he got from who knows where into his mouth. Though, Virgil knows it's mostly marshmallow fluff. They made it together a few years ago, and it was still a long running joke.

"...Probably. But no." Virgil replied, sneaking a look at his digital clock.

8:10, 3 minutes before he'd switch.

"Mmm, why not? Y'know, you love rambling."

Virgil could only avert his gaze, his throat closing up on him.

"Virgin?" Remus asked; shaking his shoulder a bit, causing Virgil's bright purple hair to become staticky.

Fuck, Virgil thought. He really hated this- hated having to watch Remus get snagged away because he knew he wasn't destined to him. Why in the world would Remus be paired dup with him? His luck had always been bad, so this just sounded absurd to him.

"I'm sorry." Virgil meekly replied, nuzzling his head further into Remus's arm as he watched the clock flash to 8:11. 2 minutes left.

Remus looked down on him, confusion evident on his face. "Sorry for what? Sorry for making me leave my beer?"

Virgil paused, forcing down his emotions as tears welled up in his eyes. He hated this, so do much. He should have tried harder, to be good enough to stand by Remus's side. He should've been more confident, better suitable for Remus's own cocky, rash attitude. Hr should've tried to end this years ago, but what a coward he was, leaning on him to the last second.

The clock flashed to 8:12, and Virgil felt his previous regret and guilt become replaced with self hatred. If only he had been better suitable for him...

"Virgin?" Remus asked again, not getting a reply from the boy. He want used to being left in the silent. He was used to being instantly retaliated by Virgil's snarky comments, right after his own. He wasn't acting at all like the normal.

"I'm sorry for loving y-" Virgil stopped, feeling all his prior emotions immediately flush down the drain as he was suddenly filled with something else. His confession was stopped, and hid apology that followed right after escaped his mind.

Confidence, pride, arrogance, confusion, an urge to explore his entire neighborhood (and maybe even the world)- he felt all these foreign emotions suddenly overwhelm him. He stared at the clock, which now proudly blinked 8:13.

What? Dude, at least give a man his time!

Virgil was suddenly given the urge to punch it, and act...irrational.

A beam of hope sprung up in his heart, only for it to vanish seconds after it.

There are plenty of people who are irrational, brash, and arrogant like this. But Virgil, surprisingly, couldn't accept that, as his hope was reignited, as stubborn as a mule.

Because Remus was fine-

"Hick-" A small noise came from beside him, the hope in his heart glowing brighter, fiercer than it ever had before.

"Remus?" Virgil asked, his voice loud and clearm. It even shocked him, who knew he always kept his voice down in fear of being too annoying.

"D-Damn." Remus cursed, furiously wiping away at his eyes.

"R-Remus?" Virgil felt a searing pain erupt in his body, but it wasn't painful. He...enjoyed it. His body felt as if he were on fire, tears once again threatening to fall, but was held back just in time. For some reason, he couldn't accept the fact that he almost cried in front of Remus. It mad him feel...weak.

"Wow, holy shit." Remus tried to laugh it off, but Virgil noticed the glistening tears running down his arms, each one giving striking Virgil in the chest with his own sadness.

"A-Are you ok?" Virgil asked, taking his head off of Remus's shoulder, questioning whether to wrap his arms around the other. He didn't, because a small part of him doubted that this was real, but a big part of him believe it was.

"Virgil," Virgil flinched, unexpectedly hearing his own, correct name coming from Remus's mouth.

"You really hate yourself this much?" The moment he heard this, his heart shattered, finally realizing what he had done.

His soulmate- Remus, as much as he couldn't believe it- was just given...possibly the worst thoughts he had ever encountered. Self deprivations, self hatred, regret and guilt, anxiety, everything that Virgil usually burdened himself to carry was now placed onto Remus's chest.

Virgil knew how it felt, and he knew how horrible the aftermath was.

Without a second thought, Virgil tossed his arms around Remus's large stature, and although his arms weren't quite long enough to fully encase him in an embrace like Remus would usually do to him, it was better than nothing.

"I'm sorry." Remus muttered, giving a strained laugh, so unlike his unrestrained, boisterous one.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Virgil quickly shut it down, knowing himself well enough that the moment he apologizes is when everything starts getting worse and worse. He then starts thinking about what he wished he could hear from the other during these times, and although hesitant, he said it anyways.

"I love you." Virgil confessed, seeing Remus tense up his entire body.

"I love you so much." Virgil repeats, watching as Remus started to shake this time. Virgil started to worry, thinking he had done something wrong, or in the worse case, messed up their relationship.

Soon after, a chuckle could be heard, and Remus looks up, smiling happily as tears continued to stream down his face.

"Good news for you, so do I, you dick."

Virgil looked offended, an expression Remus thought he would never have seen, and watched as Virgil proudly proclaimed:

"Since when have I been a dick when you're acting like one! I even told you first- all three times- that I love you! Say it, say it. C'mon!" Virgil hissed, but relaxed after hearing a laugh that sounded more like Remus. It wasn't him entirely, but it was a lot better than before.

"Asshole." Remus fixed, grinning once again at Virgil's unsupporting gaze.

"Its true! Look at me- I radiate top energy. You're definitely a bottom." Remus said, snapping his mouth shut as he realized what he said, green eyes wide open in shock.

But he was eased out of that state with Virgil's calm, sarcastic laughter, and was once again bombarded with the fact that Virgil could definitely top somebody else, and that he wasn't entirely a bottom.

But they both knew that Remus was right in the end, neither of them want to admit it, though.

They spent the rest of their little break in Virgil's room, Virgil taking the initiative to thank everybody for coming to the party and seeing them out the door when the time had come. On the way out, everybody gave him a knowing glance as he rolled his eyes, slamming the door in their faces, leaving them in the midst of a blizzard.

Truth be told, the party wasn't really a party. At least, not to Remus who had gone to so many parties with over 30 people attending each. But to Virgil, it was enough, especially when Declyn and Roman were in the same room.

The test of their hour was spent with the two of them questioning each other's emotions, Remus asking more of them than Virgil.

"How do you even think like this?"

"I have a strange urge to eat chocolate."

"Is this why you never talk?"

"Wow, I look horrible. Did I always smell like this?"

"How the fuck did you deal with my chaotic dumbass energy? Like- Everything looks dangerous! Even that stupid broom you never use! What if it falls and trips an unlucky bitch?"

"That ceiling fan of yours is giving me major creep vibes- you never know when it's gonna fall! It's plotting against us!"

"How do you manage to sleep like this?"

Remus would continue to endlessly spill out questions after questions, cherishing this hour of his life to see everything his soulmate looked through his own eyes. And this is when he truly learned about different perspectives.

Like he said: the ceiling fan he never played attention to is always on his mind now, he never thought to use actual deodorant until now, when he thought about what Virgil would think despite him knowing very well that he doesn't give a damn. That lamp in the corner of the room? Remus had seen it before, but now he could only think about what would happen if it were to tip over.

Minor things he never noticed became so apparent in his life, and he feels horrible remembering all the times he forced Virgil to do something absolutely crazy with him (like the shopping cart incident). He couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have to do that when he feels this horrible just lying down.

It was the same with Virgil. He never knew Remus experienced such a pull to the outside world until now. In fact, a 'pull' would be an understatement. He desperately wants to go outside and maybe even conquer the woods just outside of his house, but it takes every ounce of his will to stay put and stay shut inside.

It helps knowing Remus appreciated it.

Virgil hasn't had a single thought about everything that would have been in his mind. He felt...giddy, and he wasn't sure what to think of it. He hadn't felt this way for a good few years now, so it certainly came as a shock to his unprepared mind.

As the minutes passed by, the digital clock finally beeped "9:13" and the two of them felt the exact same sensation as they did an hour prior.

A drain sucked out their personality -or emotions-, and their original one filled the void, leaving the two of them in silence as they grew accustomed to their original feelings.

Virgil, as he really couldn't focus on anything for too long for the entire hour, had just processed the fact that Remus was and is indeed his soulmate. A dream come true, if not a miracle. And Remus had just processed his own train of thought, grinning wildly as he dived towards Virgil, who let out an "oof!" at the sudden force and pressure.

Soon enough, Virgil and Remus were in their usual cuddling position once again, with Virgil sitting on Remus's lap, facing him, wrapping his arms around his neck as he settles his head into the crook of it. Remus wrapped the both of them in a blanket, playing a crappy version of a scene from a recently released movie which was obviously taken in the movie theaters.

"Boyfriends?" Virgil suddenly asked, somehow growing enough confidence to ask such a question. To his delight, Remus grinned, picking up Virgil's thin body and swinging the both of them all around the room.

"Why don't we just get married? Right here!" Remus exclaimed, only to get his face pushed away and his mouth shut up.

"Married? Yeah right! You haven't even told me "I love you" yet! Now that I think of it, I'm the only one who said it, you ass! Say it!" Virgil tossed around Remus's head in all directions, only to end up on the ground, Remus's eyes spinning from the dizziness.

"I-I love you." Remus weakly muttered out, before grabbing a nearby bag of onion rings and smashing them open, picking one of the few intact rings.

He grabbed Virgil's hand and stuck the onion ring onto his ring finger. "Now, marry me?" Remus asked once again, tossing Virgil another onion ring and stretched this hand out, waiting for the other to slip it on.

Virgil blushed, hiding his red ears as he hit Remus's head rather ruthlessly and putting on the ring.

"Dammit, what'll Dee say if he finds out you proposed to me with a fucking onion ring." Virgil said, falling onto Remus's chest, staring at his new edible ring. A smile stretched out on his face, and although Remus may not have directly seen it, he knew exactly what he'd look like.

"Well, he'd be jealous! What better than to be able to eat your ring, so you can give your lover another one the next day. Y'know, Ro said it would be his "dream come true" if he could propose to his lover every day and relive the moment. So, me being me, I had to steal the number one place from that piece of shit again." Remus boasted, before proudly exclaiming, "And as you can see, it worked. You accepted it. Now I can rub it into his nasty face."

Virgil burst out laughing.

"Is that the only reason you proposed to me after being boyfriends for not even half an hour?" Remus paused for a moment, then making a gesture as if he were in deep thought. Virgil rolled his eyes at it.

"Well, I've considered you my boyfriend for the past few years already-"

"What?" Virgil sat up abruptly, shocked to hear such a thing. He didn't even remember Remus saying or acting weird at all.

"Yeah, that one time I got the both of us drunk by accident I ended up blurting something along the lines of "You're really cute" and you said that only your boyfriend can call you cute. I asked if I could be one, and you said yeah, so I called you cute again. It's really foggy since it was so long ago, but you probably forgot. You were hit by the alcohol cloud the hardest and you were younger than me, so it was obviously expected." Remus explained, then grinned at Virgil's shocked expression.

"Remember? The time I decided to burn my dad's vodka because I was pissed at him for some shitty reason. We didn't know that the alcohol would evaporate the moment we lit it on fire, and the wind pushed it to your direction first. Funny as hell looking back on it now, but it scared the shit out of me when you nearly fainted."

"No no, not that. You didnt take me out on dates and you never said you liked me."

"Uh, I did?"

"You didn't."

"I did! That time I took you to the treehouse- that was one! Then when the both of us ditched my own party to explore the woods and nearly broke my arm was another. After our shitty swimming lessons, when I took you to the cafe, that was another! Also that one time we climbed a tree and got stuck for 3 hours- that was another! All the sleepovers, dumpster diving, stealing from the old bastard and cuddle sessions were dates! And the "I love you" stuff... I'm not really good with it. I never know when the right time to say it is, so I ended up skipping that part. But still!" Remus ranted, counting all their "dates" using his fingers, while Virgil stayed silent in utter shock.

"Wait-" Virgil laughed again, "What is your definition of dates?" Remus looked at him, as if he asked the most stupid question on earth.

"No, really, what do you think a date is?"

Remus paused again, "well... it's when you're only with your lover, right? When it's only the two of us- Roman told me that. Roman... Ah, fuck! Don't tell me it's completely different!"

Remus banged his fist on the ground, spewing out more curses at his brother as Virgil's laughter only continued to rise.

"It's- HAHA- It's not completely different. It's right in a way, but you'd usually tell your partner if it's a date or if it's just hanging out. No wonder I had no idea- all those happened when I was so young! Haha, sorry."

Remus grumbled to himself, crossing his arms, but nevertheless managed to smile at Virgil's rare fits of laughter.

Remus: "Alright then- to fix everything my shitty bro did, how about a date tomorrow? In the woods." Remus smiled, and Virgil wiped away some of his tears.

"Yeah, sure. That's great."

#deceit sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #thomas sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #sympathetic deceit #ts duke #dukexiety #intruxiety #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #sanders sides

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under-the-blue-sun · 5 years ago

Text

vanilla softserve sort of day

summary: dan doesn't want to go outside today, but when his best friend and crush phil lester turns up at his doorstep...well, he had to change his plans a little.

word count: 4117

rating: teen & up for swearing, but it’s mostly just fluff

warnings: profanity

note: first(ish) phanfic so uh hello phanfic community nice to meet you i guess. this is a little rushed and crappy but im putting this out there anyway so let’s just see how that goes. inspired by liana flores’ softserve - please check her out, the link is here and she is amazing and so underrated i love her so much.

read on ao3 | read on ff.net

dear diary laptop thingy,

today began as a perfectly sunny day. and when i mean perfect, i mean absolutely perfect. i wasn't dying and sweating because of the heat, but it wasnt cold enough so i would shiver to death. the perfect weather to go outside, run around in a park and walk my dog. so obviously i stayed inside, sleeping till eleven am. that is, until i was woken up by the doorbell. i leapt out of bed and ran to the door in my pajamas. i know that that's bad, but in my defense i thought that my brother had left something at home and he was coming back to get it. it was holidays for me, but my brother's last day of school was today and my mother had to go to work. and as far as i was aware, my mum had not ordered anything online since she swore off it so i couldn't see how it could be anyone either than my brother and my mother, for who would want to see me?

yet, i opened the door and saw the one and only phil lester.

now i know you do not want to read through another in-depth description of phil lester. i was just rereading my other few entries and uh, i wrote a lot of things about his appearance and personality. but he did truly looked stunning, just standing there at my front door. somehow, he had looked even better since he got the very fashionable quiff and since he started to embrace his glasses. he was wearing a blue shirt and jeans, which accentuated his beautiful blue-green-yellow eyes and he had his dog, buffy, on a lead. she tried to run forward to greet me, almost choking herself, but phil held her back. and then he fucking smiled at me, which, as normal, was fucking death, which is a bit of an issue when he smiles a lot and he's your best mate, but i swear to fucking god, his smile could light up the entire world.

"hi." he said, still fucking smiling.

"i didnt expect you." i noted, like a reasonable human.

"yas, you didnt. nice pajamas." he said.

of course. of all the days, i just had to be wearing my wonder woman pajamas. i fucking hate this world.

"yeah, they are pretty nice. what are you doing here?" i asked, pretending i wasn't embarrassed.

he fiddled with his fingers, acting adorably flustered. god, i fucking love him. "well...you said you were home alone this week and that you were going to be really bored. so i thought i could, you know, turn up as a surprise." he said. i blinked.

"i dont...have anything planned." i said. he laughed, his stupid tongue sticking out of his beautiful teeth. god, please murder me.

"i know you dont, you spork. it is sunny out today, so i was wondering whether you wanted to go on a train with me to the beach?" he said.

i didnt respond for a few seconds so i could process this information. he is so fucking cute?? and nice?? i did not understand, so daniel.exe just shut down. but like?? still??? i said i was going to be bored on the week and that i had nothing to do, so he turned up at my front step and asked whether i wanted to spend some time with him. like who?? would do that??? honestly, he really was the best friend ever.

"it's okay if you don't want to, i was just asking, you don't have to, there's no pressure!" phil said quickly, his face turning red. it was only then that i realised i hadnt said anything for like a whole minute. oops.

"no, no, i would love to! i was just...surprised that you would think of coming here and asking whether i wanted to spend time with you." i quickly said, trying to make up for my mistake.

"you were surprised i wouldn't at least come and say hi after hearing my best friend was bored and free during the week? daniel james howell, i am truly disappointed in you." phil said, shaking his head.

so i took sookie, my dog (yas, phil and i have matching pup names) and wore my sunglasses. i wore the first clothes in my closet that were reasonably presentable (black, of course) and i went to the door. phil was on his phone playing crossy road (probably as the emo goose) and didn't notice me come out of the house.

"um...hello?" i said. he went pink, embarrassed he didn't notice me beforehand, and looked at me for a while. all i was thinking was fuck, i probably look bad.

"is there something on my face?" i asked. he went pinker and shook his head.

"no, it's nothing." he replied. "let's go!"

the train trip was as breezy as the wind today and before i knew it, we were at the beach. phil tried to chase some seagulls to talk to them like the dork he is, but i pulled him away.

"aww. but i could have been the next doctor dolittle." he complained. i rolled my eyes.

"we already discussed this. you cannot become a doctor, as you would be known as dr. phil and that title already belongs to one human and it will continue to belong to one human only." i said sternly. he pouted.

"but what if i legally changed my name? then could i become the next doctor dolittle?" he begged.

"what would you even change your name to? mo?" i asked, struggling to not smirk.

"mo? mo...lester. what? no! i dont want my name to be the word someone who sexually assaults others! i would change my name to...sylvester. then i could become sylvester lester!" he exclaimed.

"sylvester lester from manchester." i said with a grin.

"yeah! i like it!" he said. he looked so fucking happy, how could he ever want to spend time with me, who literally sucks the happiness out of everything? truly one of the world's greatest mysteries.

"it does have quite a ring to it," i admitted, "maybe you should change your name."

"then i could be doctor dolittle! well, the equivalent of him. doctor sylvester lester from manchester who goes on...questers...to communicate with other animals." he exclaimed. i shook my head.

"no phil, you ruined it. questers? really?" i said.

"i couldn't think of anything else that would rhyme!" he protested. i shook his head. sookie shook his head with me.

"see, even sookie knows what's up!" i said.

"well, buffy would never betray me, so take that!" phil retorted playfully. he then suggested we go grab some lunch, so we went to the local cafe and got some fish and chips.

it was a cute cafe. there was hardly anyone there as it was still technically a working day, which was good for us as we got an outdoor table for our dogs. sookie hungrily stared at my food, hoping for a chip or two. even though my mum hates giving sookie human food, she wasn't here to tell me not to give her any, so i gave in and allowed her to take some of my chips. while i was feeding sookie under the table, i listened to phil talk.

"did you know that a lot of fish in fish and chips is actually shark?" he said. i raised my eyebrows.

"i refuse to believe that. where did you hear it?" i asked with doubt.

"i don't know, i think someone told me on this science camp or something, i don't know." he replied, visibly attempting to recall where he heard it.

"right, okay, really reliable source there. even if it's true, i don't care. i don't care if this is raw shark, or raw octopus or some shit, it tastes good so i'm going to continue eating it." i said.

"octopus tastes different from regular fish, dan. i think you would know if you were eating raw octopus." phil pointed out.

"i don't care! i don't care! watch me! i don't care!" i exclaimed. phil laughed as he shook his head.

we finished the meal in ten seconds flat, like the ravenous, greedy brutes we were and then i paid, despite phil's protests.

"why did you pay? i should have paid! this is my treat to you!" phil exclaimed, continuing to argue even after we had left the cafe.

"yeah, and that is my thanks to you for taking me out." i said back. he huffed.

"yeah, but i wanted to treat you." he said.

"if you wanna try me, get me a ninety-nine." i said, pointing at the ice cream truck ahead. he groaned.

"but they're always so expensive. way more expensive than it should be, anyway." he whinged.

i shrugged. "i mean, if you wanna treat me -"

"yas, i'll get you a ninety-nine!" he blurted out, interrupting my sentence. "i might as well get myself one as well."

and soon, i had a vanilla softserve in my hand and an irritated phil to my right.

"why are they even called ninety-nines when they're not even ninety-nine pence?" phil asked.

"it's actually because italian people thought -" i began, but phil cut me off.

"i don't want to hear. they should be ninety-nine pence is all i'm saying." phil griped.

"if you don't want your ninety-nine, you can go ahead and give it to me," i offered.

"no, it's still mine." phil said. he stuck his tongue out at me, then took a huge lick of the ice cream.

"or is it?" i said. i leaned over and licked his ice cream.

"hey!" he cried. he leant over and licked my ice cream.

"see? now we're even steven. no need to get angry." i said. he shook his head while i manically cackled.

"race you!" phil shouted. i stopped laughing and i saw him in the distance, already running.

"wha - i -" i stuttered, before sprinting as well. by the time we just got to the end, we were both huffing and puffing, unable to breathe.

"i...beat...you." phil said, exhaling after each word. my brain protested "because you had a head start!" but my body was unable to comply, and all that came out was "head...start.". phil and i simultaneously collapsed on the floor.

after five minutes, i stood up and looked at where we had run from.

"you know, it wasn't that far, we're just grossly unfit." i observed.

"the things we sacrifice to play hours of video games." phil replied, shaking his head. "hey, how about we go on the beach?"

before i could reply, phil was on the beach, looking up at me with a grin. i shook my head.

"now sand is going to be in your socks and shoes." i pointed out. he threw his vans to the side and stripped his socks off.

"there!" he declared. "problem fixed!"

"phil!" i exclaimed. he tilted his head in confusion.

"what?" he said innocently.

"you can't just - oh, whatever," i said, giving in. i jumped down to the beach and i took off my socks and shoes.

"happy?" i asked, both eyebrows raised. he smiled, eyes crinkling with happiness.

"very." he said. he lay down on the beach, but jumped up abruptly.

"what?" i asked. he rubbed his back and dug in the sand with his fingers. he plunged his hand in and pulled out a huge conical shell.

"woah, look at this!" phil said with a huge grin.

"was that sticking up your back?" i asked. he nodded solemnly. i laughed loudly and obnoxiously as he pouted. he was so cute when he pouted. why did i have to go through this? this was straight up homophobia.

"hey, let's look for more shells!" he said.

"why?" i groaned.

"because it'll be fun?" he said, with puppy dog eyes. i groaned, but decided to humour him anyway.

"where are you going to put the shells, phil?" i asked. he pointed at his hoodie pocket.

"in here, of course!" he said.

"how many shells would you even be able to fit in there?" i asked. he shrugged.

"as many as i can. come on, let's hunt for shells!" he said, already running across the beach with buffy and sookie. i sighed and chased after him, trying not to grin after he started screaming.

and it turns out he was right. with a little help from my hoodie pocket, we managed to collect a whole lot of shells. somehow, we had managed to spend hours on the beach, rolling in the sand and grabbing shells.

"we should probably have dinner now." i said. he laughed and shook his head.

"what?" i asked innocently.

"nothing. just the people in the restaurant will probably think we're crazy, covered in sand and pockets bulging with shells." he said. i looked at him, his hair in the wind and his multicoloured eyes somehow matching perfectly with the sea. his face looked beautiful under the light of the sunset, and of course his smile was just as stunning as it was this morning at the front door. suddenly, i started laughing too, and he started laughing harder, and soon we couldn't stop until we were just two idiots with one shared brain cell, laughing our head off till we couldn't breathe.

to be honest, i don't know what was so funny. it wasn't phil's best joke, nor his cheesiest, nor his dirtiest or his most ironic. maybe it was just the absurdity of it all, that we had spent our entire day collecting shells on the beach with our dog. but at that moment, i was certain it was because of the impossible existence that was phil and how he managed to be so fucking beautiful and nice. that's why i was laughing anyway, i have no idea why phil was laughing his head off.

"yeah, let's wait for awhile before dinner. you can come to my place if you want?" i offered. he shook his head.

"nah, it's fine. i'll just go home and have dinner there." he said.

"please. have dinner with me. it'll be my treat back to you for making sure i didn't stay inside sleeping all day." i said, practically begging. i looked at him as the breeze blew against his face, and at that particular moment i was more in love with him than i ever could've imagined someone could be.

he looked back at me for a while, then relented. he smiled and shuffled closer towards me.

"sure. i'll love to have dinner with your family." he said.

we sat in comfortable silence, looking off into the horizon.

"the beach during sunset really is beautiful." i observed.

"yeah. really." he eloquently replied. i turned to him, and realised he was still looking at me.

"fuck, i can't deal with this anymore." he muttered. i frowned, quizzical. and then he interrupted my thoughts and kissed me.

my brain went completely empty of all the thoughts i was thinking before and all the logic i normally apply to situations. i stopped thinking about the maths homework i was supposed to do, and how we had to go all the way back to the other end of the beach to get our shoes and socks back if they were still there, and how the weather forecast said that it might rain later this evening. the only thing that i was thinking about was how phil, my best friend, crush, soulmate and companion through life, fucking liked me back and that he was fucking kissing me.

holy shit. even now as i'm typing this, i still can't believe it. this kind of thing only happened in cliche rom-com tv shows and movies. but yet it was still happening. Philip Michael Lester, the attractive, polite, intelligent, thoughtful, kind human being, was kissing Daniel James Howell, the impolite, sarcastic, idiotic, emo, ironic demon. just...fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

"i really like you dan." phil said quietly, avoiding my eyes. i took his hand and placed it in mind.

"i really like you too." i said, smiling. he looked up at me and smiled. we sat, hand-in-hand, and watched the sunset in silence.

"let's go home." i said.

"let's go home." he repeated.

so we walked to the other end of the beach, our bare feet making temporary footprints across the barren sand.

we collected our shoes and socks (which phil forgot about before i reminded him) and then we went on the train, but we were too exhausted to talk. emotionally tired or physically tired, i don't know. but we sat on the train hand in hand, trying not to drift to sleep. unfortunately, i epically failed at that because soon i woke up to phil nudging me at our stop. after a five minute walk from the train station we arrived at my house. i knocked at my door, and waited for an answer. i heard footsteps, and soon adrian answered the door.

"dan, i'm proud of you. i was surprised you even went out of the house, but i had faith that you would. mum thought you were kidnapped, but obviously you're okay. oh, hi phil! we weren't expecting you." adrian said. oops. i kind of forgot to tell mum that phil was coming. i'm sure it was fine.

"hi adrian! can you ask your mum whether it's okay for me to have dinner with you? tell her it's fine if i can't, i wouldn't want to butt into your family dinner." phil said. ugh, what a gentlemen. how the fuck did he like me? if i was him i wouldn't like me. what was this sorcery???¿?¿¿¿

adrian nodded and ran back to the kitchen. he shouted back to us saying it was okay, and we went in.

the dinner went smoothly. as i predicted, phil made adrian laugh with his cheesy jokes and he was incredibly polite to my mum. i had told my mum while phil went to the bathroom that we were dating now, and i could tell that the only thing that went through her head was "ideal son-in-law". which was good i guess, if also somewhat embarrassing.

as soon as we started the dessert course, it started raining outside.

"you boys just missed the rain, didn't you?" my mum said, looking out the window.

"good luck, i guess." i replied, focusing on my apple pie.

"or maybe the universe meant it to be like that." phil said. i looked up at him.

"probably luck." adrian decided, interrupting our moment.

despite my mum's protests, phil soon started to get ready to go, hoodie pocket still bulging with shells. i had put my shells in my room the minute we came back in, but poor phil had to carry them all throughout dinner.

"i'll count them when we get home and we can see how many shells we collected together." phil promised.

"or we could have a competition to see who has the most shells." i proposed.

"i gave some of mine to you, so that's not fair." phil said. i clicked my tongue.

"excuses, excuses." i said, shaking my head.

"are you sure you don't want to stay here for the night?" my mum said, concerned.

"it's fine, ma'am. i need to go home and do some things i was supposed to do this afternoon, but i was held up." he said, looking at me.

"you invited me!" i protested.

"i know, i wasn't blaming you. but it's fine ma'am, i want to go home." phil said. mum sighed.

"at least make me give you a lift." she said.

"it's -"

"phil lester, it is raining outside. i do not want your mother calling me saying i let you to walk out in the rain, allowing you to catch a cold! i know your address, let me drive you there. dan, adrian, do you want to come?" my mum said. adrian shook his head.

"sure." i said.

"good, let's go. adrian, don't do anything or you're grounded." mum said. ah, what a legend.

the second we got in the car, holding hands in the backseat, my mum showered us with congratulations. she revealed she had been shipping us since grade three, which made me confused and worried, and she said that she always knew i liked phil.

"mum!" i said while phil laughed.

"what? it was as obvious as day. even before you told us you were gay, i knew that you thought phil as something either than platonic. and don't laugh too hard mr lester, i always knew you liked him too. i'm just amazed it took this long for you to get together to be honest." mum said.

"well, we're both oblivious and nerdy, so that might be why." phil said. mum chuckled.

"yas, that is true. that's very true." mum said. we then chatted about music and literature, and before we knew it we were at phil's place. it had somehow stopped raining on the drive, but i was still wet so mum told us to be careful.

"thank you for taking me ma'am." phil said honestly.

"that's okay phil. it's been nice seeing you again. you're welcome at our house at any time. i'll let you two say goodbye." mum said.

phil got out of the car, making sure he didn't drop any shells from his pocket.

"make sure to count those shells," i said while getting out of the car.

"i will." he said with a smile. god, those smiles still killed me. i kind of hoped that i would become immune to them after finding out he liked me, but i was also kind of grateful that i was still susceptible to the magic of phil's smile. still, it was irritating that i melted any time he felt moderately happy. it wasn't fair, it really wasn't fair.

"you wanna go to the movies tomorrow? i heard there's some good films in the cinema." i said.

"sure. my treat." he said.

"nope, you're not paying for it. i refuse to let you. you can pay for something else, but i will pay for the tickets." i said. he opened his mouth to argue, but closed it immediately after.

"we'll argue about this tomorrow. i'll go -" he started, but i interrupted.

"i'll be at your place. at eleven thirty sharp." i said. he raised his eyebrows.

"would you really?" he said.

"i will. you'll be sorry you ever doubted me." i replied.

"have you done mr folium's homework yet?" he asked.

"nope. i'll probably just google the answers." i said.

"you're going to regret doing that." he said.

"i know. but for now i'm just focusing on the present and not worrying about the future." i said.

"that's a good quote for our relationship, not so good for maths homework. but fine, you do you. i'll probably just google the answers as well." he said. i laughed.

"you're such a hypocrite." i said, shaking my head. he smirked.

"i know. it's one of the things you love about me, isn't it?" he said. i raised my eyebrows.

"your words, not mine." i said. we stood in silence, both unsure of what to say.

"i should probably get going." i said, breaking the silence.

"yeah, same." he agreed. and there it was, that perfect silence yet again.

"i really like you." i began, but not sure of what else to say.

"yeah, same." he said.

and then we kissed again. it sounds so casual, doesn't it? but it wasn't, it really wasn't. my heartbeat sped up and slowed down to match his, my palms started sweating with nerves and excitement, and my lips curled as it struggled to fathom what was happening. i wonder if every kiss with him would be like this. i wonder if i would ever stop loving him just as much. there's still so much i was unsure about, but for now i'll focus on the present and i'll let the future come when it comes. who knows how much - or how little - the world has in store for the two of us? let's face it, i'm just a seventeen year old boy really in love with another boy in my class who somehow liked me back. but couldn't be seventeen? that's all i wanted to be. and there was nowhere to go if didn't start the journey, and right now we were only just beginning.

today was a vanilla softserve sort of day, and i love vanilla softserves. signing off,

daniel howell

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p-artsypants · 6 years ago

Text

Rage Awakened (5)

Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU

@chachacharlieco @violetstar-writes

Ao3 | FF.net

—

As they had every day, the group woke up in the morning and descended from the treehouse, creating their plan for the day.

“Alright,” began Terra. “Since we have to wait for Tarzan before we can go to the waterfall, our next step is looking for Sora, I guess. Ven and I will try over by the lagoon, Riku and Kairi try to treetops, and Aqua will stay behind at camp in case Tarzan comes for us.”

“Why does Aqua get to stay behind?” Asked Riku, sensibly.

“Because Ventus is still in his exam, and you would just sleep the whole time.”

“Fair.”

“Everyone got a radio?”

They all held up their appropriate walkie-talkies.

“Good, then let’s—“

“EEP!”

One minute, Kairi was there, and the next she was gone, with only a yelp to signify her disappearance.

“Kairi?!” Riku cried out.

“What the hell was that?!” Terra shouted, after seeing a blur sweep her off her feet.

The radios blared to life. “I found him! Er—he found me! I’ll try to—“ static.

“That’s horrifying.” Said Ven.

“Okay, new plan,” declared Terra. “Ven and I will check the lagoon, Riku will check the treetops, and Aqua stays here.”

“That’s the same exact plan as before, but without Kairi.”

“Ah but this time, we’re looking for Sora and her.”

Riku scoffed and began walking off on his own.

“Remember! If you see a strange heartless, call for backup!!”

“Aye aye, Captain.” He waved back.

—

Kairi had been listening, like the good student that she was. She knew she’d be paired up with Riku again, since that’s just the way it always was.

Had she been standing a foot closer to anyone else, it may not have happened, but one second she was looking at Terra, and then she was up in the trees. An arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her tightly to a bare chest as her feet left the ground and her stomach dropped into her shoes. She didn’t even scream, just let out a yelp. It’s like she had left her voice behind.

When she gathered herself, she raised the radio.

“I found him! Er—he found me! I’ll try to get him to bring me back to camp!”

The arm around her tightened and she felt her weight shift down. Instinctively, she hugged him around the neck and then hooked her legs with his.

Looking down, she saw that he had taken her high up to the treetops, a dizzying height from the ground. She clenched her eyes shut.

Finally, they stopped, but he did not loosen the hold on her.

She finally opened her eyes, seeing that they had come to rest on a huge branch. She pulled back slightly to look at him, and likewise, he looked at her.

His eyes were blue. She had seen them before in the moonlight, but now, she could see them properly. Large, brilliant, and so so blue. His glance was tender, yet piercing, and froze her to the spot.

“Hello again...” she found was all she could say.

He didn’t respond with words, only the toothy grin that fit so well on his charming face. He leaned in, his nose touching hers in greeting.

She smiled back, shyly and unwound herself from him, only then did he finally let her go. “You know, it’s not polite to pick up a girl without her permission.” She scolded.

He frowned, but then became happy again when he realized she wasn’t mad at him.

“I really need to go back. The other’s will worry about me.”

He frowned again, his brows furrowing. “Danger.”

“Danger? Then I really need to go! They need my help!”

He grunted and stomped his foot. “Danger!”

“I know! I understand! But we need to help them! Please!”

He grabbed her arm, and shook, not enough to hurt, but just enough to get his point across.

Being a princess, Kairi was used to being benched and ‘staying safe’. But ever since she became a Keyblade wielder, she was determined to save herself. And she emphasized this by summoning her keyblade. “I can protect myself.”

He stared at it in shock.

“It’s a keyblade,” She explained. “You have one too, don’t you?”

He hesitated, but held out his hand, his blade synthesizing.

Now, Kairi had only been studying under Eraqus for about a year, and there were plenty of things she didn’t know about keyblades. But there were a few key things she had learned early on.

She knew all keyblades, save for one, were made in the realm of light. The one exception was the king’s blade, the Kingdom Key. Rather simple in design, a blade of gold with a silver hilt, with a relief of a crown at the end, it was the only keyblade of the realm of darkness. It was fabled to have a partner, the Kingdom Key of light. Though Eraqus was never able to answer when asked where it was.

As she looked at the keyblade in his hand, several thoughts passed through her head. But the most prominent, was that something was wrong. It almost looked like the King’s key, except for a silver blade and a gold hilt. But it looked sick, she surmised. Like the keyblade itself was ill, and even dying. Long, fleshy tendrils of darkness wrapped around the blade, and ended in what looked like claws. The hilt was broken and jagged, and parts even looked dissolved. The crown was struck out with an X.

Kairi touched the blade, fearful to find it colder than any keyblade she had ever touched.

“You...really are Sora, aren’t you?”

His eyes widened. “Know Sora?”

“Well, I know of you, Terra and Aqua told me about you.”

He gruffly shuffled away from her, “Danger.”

“Wait...are you saying that Terra and Aqua...are the Danger?”

“Mmm.” He hummed in confirmation.

“Oh Sora...they love you and miss you! Come on, let’s go back.”

He grunted, and if to solidify his decision, he parked it on the branch. He was acting just like a child.

It was almost adorable.

Kairi found the radio again, and called to her team. “I’m still okay, but our friend is being a little more stubborn than expected, so I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

Nothing came from the other line. She glanced at the radio, only to see no lights on it.

Dead.

“Great...They gave me the bad one.” She sighed. “Well, I guess I’m stuck with you.” She plopped down on the branch next to him.

He seemed to be in a better mood now that she had resigned, and scooted over closer to her, straddling the tree branch.

She was startled, but only for a moment, since she was being to get used to him invading her space.

He rested his hand on her heart. “Kairi,” then he mimicked the action in himself. “Sora.”

“Very good!” She praised with a little clap.

Encouraged by her praise, he leaned forward and pressed his ear to her chest.

“Are you...listening to my heart beat?”

“…heart…” He said, his voice soft and reverent. Then he sat up and gestured for her to do the same to him.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, you got me.” She braced herself on his chest and leaned in to listen.

His heartbeat was strong and steady. Much more calm than she was feeling at the moment.

Despite the condition of his keyblade, listening to his heart was soothing, and warm.

Finally, she pulled away from him. “Very nice,” she said awkwardly.

He smiled widely.

Then, without warning, he grabbed her around the waist again and leapt from the branch. This time, she had a second to latch on before she could slip.

“Look!” He demanded, as he moved through the trees.

She didn’t really want to, afraid of how high they were, but she peeled her eyes open.

They were so high up! If he missed a vine, they would be toast.

But this didn’t seem to bother Sora at all. He laughed and hooted as he swung, calling greeting to other animals as they travelled.

Then, she noticed something out of place among the trees.

She pointed, “That’s Riku! Let’s go say hi!”

If Sora was untrusting to Terra, Aqua, and Ventus, then perhaps he’d be more welcoming to Riku. He perched them on a branch a few feet above him.

“Riku?” Sora asked.

“Yeah, he’s my friend. Our friend.”

“Friend?”

“Yes, Sora friend, Kairi friend, Riku friend!”

“Oh friend!” Sora sang, seemingly understanding.

It seemed that Riku hadn’t noticed them, as he almost fell off the branch he was resting on when they landed next to him.

“Riku!” Kairi sang.

“Oh Kairi!” He breathed in relief. “I’m so glad I found you...or you found me, I guess.”

Sora sat between them, glancing back and forth as they talked.

“Riku, this is Sora.” She introduced, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Nice to finally meet you, we’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He held his hand out.

Sora grabbed his wrist, yanking the hand closer to him to study it. When he deemed there was nothing in it, he frowned at Riku.

“You shake it,” he explained, grabbing his hand. “Like this,” he moved it up and down.

Sora watched the gesture, and then enthusiastically shook his hand, damn near dislocating Riku’s shoulder. “Okay okay! Not that hard!”

Sora let go with satisfied giggle. “Like Riku! Like Sora?”

“Yeah, I like you Sora.” Riku confirmed.

“Like Kairi! Like Sora?”

“Yes, I like you too, Sora.” She smiled at him.

“Sora key, Kairi key, Riku key?”

“Keyblade,” he corrected, summoning the Road to Dawn.

Sora smiled toothily. “Sora key...keyblade!” And he showed his.

Riku stared at it in shock. “That’s...” he looked at Kairi, “Do you know what keyblade this is...or was?”

“It looks like King Mickey’s keyblade. The one from the realm of darkness.”

“This is its partner, I’m sure of it. But...”

Both of them looked at Sora, who just curiously looked back, not knowing what they were talking about.

“Something’s wrong with his heart.” Riku deliberated. “I think that’s what’s causing this.” He touched the black coiling bits, shivering in response. “They’re made of darkness alright.”

This worried Kairi even more. Riku had told her about his fall into darkness, and what it had done to his heart. There was no telling what this meant for poor Sora, who probably didn’t even realize the danger he was in.

“We should catch up with the others,” said Riku. “They’re probably worried sick.”

“I don’t blame them. But...there’s a small problem. He’s not really...keen on them.”

“On who? Terra and Aqua?”

Sora hissed loudly at the mention of their names, confirming Kairi’s statement.

“Hey hey,” She soothed. “It’s okay.”

Riku scratched the back of his neck. “Well, it makes sense. If he thinks they left him here on purpose or forgot about him. I’d be pretty salty too.”

“So what do we do?”

“Well, he likes you. Why don’t you just...don’t know, hang out with him? Know his world.”

“Me?”

“Sure. He damn near kidnapped you to see you again. Though I don’t really like the idea of you gallivanting around the Jungle with a strange boy…”

Kairi couldn’t help but giggle, “what are you? My dad?”

Sora decidedly had enough of them talking and took Kairi’s hand and tugged.

“Okay, we can go. I’ll meet up with you when I can.”

Riku nodded once, and gestured them on.

Kairi placed her arms around Sora’s neck.

He excitedly hugged her back and then jumped off the tree.

Riku watched them disappear, and then said to himself, “Aqua’s going to murder me.”

—

Back at the Land of Departure, Eraqus was setting up for a guest. It had grown lonely in the castle these last few days, since he was so accustomed to having the kids around, at least one at a time.

“My, I haven’t seen the castle this empty in ages,” spoke the visitor.

Eraqus smiled at him. “At least 15 years, my how time flies.”

“What brought you to call on me, if not to bear witness to your new master?”

“Is loneliness not a a worthy enough excuse?”

“What some call loneliness, others would call peace and quiet.”

“You always did prefer silence, didn’t you Xehanort?”

The older man chuckled, taking a seat at their chess table. “It helps me think.” He made the first move and the game began. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a game, hasn’t it?”

“Yes, If you forgive me, I never thought it was appropriate to call on you while the darkness was such a threat.”

Xehanort raised an eyebrow. “And it’s not anymore?”

“Almost. As we speak, my students are sealing one last world. The darkness will have no foothold after that.”

“I see. Though the darkness won’t be able to swallow any more worlds, the heartless will not retreat, you know.”

“I know...but in due time, they will fade.”

“If that’s what you believe, who am I to contradict you?” He moved his knight to block a pawn. “What is this last world to be sealed?”

Eraqus sighed. “Well, it’s Deep Jungle.”

If Eraqus noticed how Xehanort’s eye twitched, he didn’t say anything about it.

“Deep Jungle? I’m surprised you would send them there after what happened. If it were me, I would let that world go. There is nothing there.”

“You sound like Terra,” Eraqus smiled slightly. “He wanted to let it go. But a world’s worth is not up to us to decide. Especially if it can be saved.”

“Are they fairing well?”

“Fairly.” He used his bishop to take out Xehanort’s Knight. “They met some people there, researchers to study the gorillas. And they have an idea where the keyhole is. And...” he hesitated, swallowing hard.

“Eraqus?”

“They found him. They found Sora.”

“Alive?”

He nodded. “He’s been alive all this time. He’s...been surviving in the forest. He’s feral now, though I don’t doubt it.”

Xehanort frowned. “Eraqus, I know the knowledge of his survival comes as a joy, but I must advise you against bringing him back here.”

“What? Why?”

“I told you before, when you first took him in as a student. That boy has incredible darkness in his heart, and he is dangerous. If indeed he’s been all alone all this time, there’s no telling how human he is anymore. Can he still tell the difference between right and wrong? Can use critical thinking?”

“Well, what are we supposed to do? He’s not just a human, he’s a keyblade wielder. We need him.”

“Do as you please. But I have given you my advice.”

All this talking had distracted Eraqus and put his Queen in jeopardy, and Xehanort was quick to take her with his bishop. “Check, old friend.”

Eraqus frowned, moving his king. “I’m going to prove you wrong. Sora is important to us. He’s coming home.”

#kingdom hearts #sora #Kairi #Riku #kh #kh2 #kh3 #fanfiction #rage awakened #feral!sora #tarzan au #SoKai

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wilhelmjfink · 6 years ago

Text

“was” pt. 11

previously: And while she watched the van pull away, she continued to call for him repeatedly, as if that would change anything, feeling helpless and broken and alone and… and just numb.

Y/N was devastated, to say the least.

Rick stood patiently outside the door of what should’ve been her and Daryl’s Alexandrian home, but currently only housed her as she locked herself away from the rest of the world.

“I know you’re in there,” Rick hollered against the barrier between them, knowing that she was somewhere inside of the small townhouse curled up, keeping to herself and refusing to leave the safety of the walls her and Daryl once shared.

She didn’t respond. “I’m comin’ in!” He announced, his hand already turning the brass knob in his hand until it clicked before he cautiously pushed he door open. It squeaked and he flinched, the sound the loudest thing he’d ever heard compared to the dark, heavy silence inside of the him.

Just as he’d suspected, Y/N sat on the loveseat with her back facing him, trying to ignore his presence. He knew she wanted to be alone — her and Daryl were similar like that. But he also knew that Daryl had a tendency to be extremely self-destructive and he’d already watched her crash and burn after he’d been taken by Negan’s men the first time. And where they were headed with the army of Saviors against them, they couldn’t afford for her to wallow in the dark, feeling sorry for herself.

At the same time, however, Rick’s heart shattered at the sight of her curled up and hugging herself on the couch: heavy bags under her eyes from the exhaustion of not having slept for the last 48 hours, her skin already porcelain from being ill and unwell and fragile, so thin and delicate that he was hesitant to sit next to her for fear of breaking her entirely.

“Y/N,” he tried to clarify his presence one again as to avoid scaring here out of her trance it seemed she was in, but she looked right over to him. Her normally radiant eyes were dull and bloodshot, puffy and red from her constant crying. One foot in front of the other he carefully made his way toward her. “Hey. It’s me. Let’s talk...”

“What’s there to talk about?” She croaked, her voice jagged like she’d swallowed shards of glass, completely void of the vibrance and attitude of girl he’d known for so long. “I can’t even imagine what they’re doing to him. And it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is!” She was suddenly on her feet, staring him as her balance wavered like she was drunk or dizzy. She pointed a finger harshly in his face. “Dont you try and tell me it’s not. He should’ve taken me!”

When she turned away from him to hide her face, becoming too overwhelmed with emotions, that was when he noticed the small but evident blood stain on her white long sleeved shirt, right over where she’d been shot.

“Y/N, you’re bleeding — “

“He said he wanted me, Rick. So why didn’t he take me?” As she collapsed back down onto the sofa he planted himself next to her, carefully guiding her backwards so that she didn’t collapse on the floor in the fit of sobs that took over her. “Why couldn’t he have taken me instead? Why —“

Rick interjected, unhappy with the guilt that was wrongfully drowning her. “Don’t say that — you don’t want that.”

“No, what I don’t want is Daryl to be suffering because of me,” she spat harshly at him, wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve. She opened her mouth to speak, but Rick beat her to it.

“Do you know how devastated he was when he heard you’d been shot?” He asked, his tone firm and unwavering. Y/N looked up at him curiously, waiting for him to continue with wherever he was going. “He... he wasn’t Daryl. He was just a shell. He didn’t know how to function without you — he was so sure you wouldn’t wake up. By the third day, he’d already lost hope.”

Y/N’s demeanor fell even lower and Rick quickly corrected himself. “Not in you, but in... everything around him. Life wasn’t worth living to him, not without you. Do you know why he left, Y/N?” Rick was heated, though not angry and as Y/N shook her head no he suddenly paused, halting himself before he stumbled too far into a conversation it wasn’t his right to initiate. “Because everything reminded him of you. And the second that he heard you were awake — the second that he knew Negan was in the infirmary with you... it was like a whole new Daryl, Y/N. I’ll bet nothin’ in the world could’ve stopped him after he heard that.”

Y/N had begun crying harder, impatiently waiting for Rick to make his point by tearing her soul in two, her love for him only growing at his words. They would be reassuring, she thought, if she was worried about whether or not Daryl loved her. But despite his introverted and closed-off nature and his harsh mannerisms, she was sure he loved her, regardless of how hard it was for him to show it; she’d always taken that into consideration and it only confirmed that he really did think the world of her.

But that wasn’t the problem. No — the problem was that he was being held prisoner in the place that already managed to break him once. So despite how hard he fought to keep his composure and maintain a stoic appearance every single day, she was the only one that knew of the nightmares that plagued his dreams every single night; of Glenn, of Negan, of Dwight, of the Saviors in their entirety. Usually, she’d lean closer, hold him tighter, whisper soothingly to him if dramatically steadying her own breathing to urge him along didn’t help. But now, she wasn’t there to hold him and protect him from those demons. They had manifested right in front of her and before they could do anything they were surrounded by them. And they laid into him, punching and kicking and laughing at him before ripping him away from her and dragging him back down to the dark recesses of his mind where she’d spent so much time trying to drag him out of.

“He would’ve ran right back into Negan’s arms if it meant makin’ sure you were safe — he still would.”

It was then that it clicked with Y/N; the point Rick was trying to make was that Daryl was tough and would endure anything for her. He would’ve walked to hell and back twice, three or four or nine or ten times for her, as she would for him. But it brought her little comfort. Everybody had a breaking point, and Negan was well aware of where Daryl’s was and she knew he ended to exploit it the way only he could.

“Just... promise me you won’t do anything stupid, alright? We need ya here.”

Y/N appreciated Rick’s effort — she really did. But she couldn’t help but break down again at the mere thought of him, burying her face in her hands as she cried for him, the tears never seeming to stop.

It seemed like the last four weeks of freedom had been nothing but a fever dream.

Daryl was right back where he started, dirty sweats, moldy bread and all, laying on the floor of the same exact cell from the last time he was prisoner at the Sanctuary. Easy Street still blared — they hadn’t change their tactics one bit. Though this time, instead of the reoccurring nightmares that showed Glenn getting beat to death due to his fault — something he’d only been able to reconcile and come to terms with because of her — it was her screams as he was dragged away, her cries as Saviors yanked her backwards and she desperately flailed and tried to free herself from their grip to reach her. And every time he’d turn toward her, wanting so badly to return to her and hold her and promise he was alright, the Saviors turned to grotesque, rotted corpses and he had to watch them eat her alive as she pleaded for him to come save her.

But he never could; not in dreams nor in reality.

He was easily able to tune the song out at that point. Though he would’ve preferred it over the sounds of her cries that echoed in his head, rattling his brain like a drill and leaving him to fight off his own tears as he felt helpless and worthless and alone. If he couldn’t save her, what good was he?

He’d been through this before — just recently, even. When he’d left the first time in a fit of rage, unable to stop the emotions from flowing upon finding out news he never, ever once in his entire life had even considered having to hear. He was supposed to tell her. He didn’t know how to do it at first. He stressed about it the second that he heard she’d woken up. And when that stress was quickly replaced with the sweetest relief he’d ever experienced in his lifetime, he’d forgotten all about it. Now, even though the initial reminder of breaking the news to her had been so bitter and undesirable, he would still choose having to do that over wallowing in the feeling of loss he was experiencing now. Knowing she was out there waiting for him, and that he would never come.

He succumbed easily upon his arrival back here, still disheveled from the fight and obvious concussion he sustained, but unlike the last time he had absolutely no fight left in him. He’d just got his girl back — fuck, he’d just gotten her back! He hadn’t even been able to speak a single word to her, let alone hold her in his arms or kiss her lips or see her smile, her entire face lighting up when he walked in like it always did — something he would never fucking understand.

Y/N had spent the night racking her brain for any memories she had that withheld valuable information about Negan or the Sanctuary, everything turning up flat. She had no leads; not even an idea on how to get there. But she still hovered over the county map, a red ‘x’ signifying the Saviors headquarters that lay far back in the woods 30 miles away from her. That was a hell of a walk, but she didn’t think twice about it. That kind of thing really didn’t matter anymore.

Daryl had her pack a bag that she’d always kept in the closet that was ready to scoop up and head out, should they ever needed to. He never trusted Alexandria and even after she begged him to just try and settle, he couldn’t say no to her big puppy dog eyes, but still found it hard to ever feel even remotely comfortable. But she’d humored him and packed the bag, knowing deep down it was a practical idea, and she was happy she did. It held a canteen full of water, protein bars and canned goods, an extra set of clothing, a box of ammunition and the suppressor for her Ruger, generic first aid, and other odds and ends they’d learn to appreciate when out on the road with no shelter or steady source of sustenance.

There was a knock at her door and she quickly kicked the backpack with her heel, sliding it under the bed frame she sat on and crumpled up the map that lay sprawled on her lap. She didn’t have to answer — nobody expected her to and they always waltzed the fuck in anyway. She was sick of the pitiful looks she’d gotten lately — yeah, she was devastated, beside herself and even still healing from being shot twice and unconscious for a week to follow, but the broken people often made the most dangerous ones, and she had every intention of going out with a bang.

The door pushed open and she was surprised to see Carl peek in, almost hesitantly.

“Hey,” she greeted him quietly as he made his way into the room, closing the door behind him. She would never get over how much he’d grown up over the years.

“Hey,” he replied. It was obvious something was on his mind and before Y/N could ask, he spoke back up. “Alright. You’re not thinking about going after Daryl, are you?”

She could never lie to Carl. So she hung her head down silently, avoiding his gaze. “Not as long as your dad keeps a tight leash on me.”

Carl nodded — it was true that Rick was making an effort to keep tabs on Y/N, checking up on her frequently even though she never left the house. She’d even seen him talking to those on watch duty and only suspected it was about her when they both had turned and spotted her watching from her front porch, immediately silencing before splitting up.

“I can help you.”

Her head snapped up. “What?”

“I’ve been to the Sanctuary. I can help you get inside. I can tell you where they’re keeping Daryl.”

Though obviously weighing heavily on her mind just the mention of his name aloud tugged on her heartstrings, springing tears of anger and frustration and fear in her eyes. Carl was serious; he stood strong, cold. After a moment of consideration, her unfolded the map you’d hastily shoved to your side and flattened it back out onto the bed.

2 more parts..... what’s gonna happen :/ no one knows!

@crossbowking @jodiereedus22 @apossiblegentleman @mtngirlforever @sourwolf-sterek32 @winchester-angel @qrangr @cole-winchester @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @twdeadfanfic @crazyaboutnorman @deliciousassafrasssandwich @bunnymother93 @96ssi @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mrbarneswhitewolfsir @thatsoragan @lonewolf471

#The Walking Dead #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl x reader #reader insert #daryl dixon imagine #twd daryl #twd fanfiction #twd daryl dixon #norman reedus

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jivkies · 5 years ago

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hello hello ! its ur local neighborgood giant kylen ( aka kylo ren ). i currently live in the pst timezone & i am 21 years old. i’m an avid pokemon go player & i love reading as well. i also have a broken nail which makes typing difficult but i’ll adapt hehe. other than that below u can find out about keiran ! if u dont wanna talk thru here hmu on d!scord @ break up w ur gf#6145

B A S I C S

✧･ﾟ( nyx + naressa valdez + cisfemale ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen ( keiran lovell ) around ? ( she ) has been in kaos for ( two months ). the ( twenty-three year old ) is a ( business major ) from ( stillwater, oklahoma ). people say they can be ( stoic ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be ( meticulous ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( coffee in a wine glass, business books scattered in her room, and an all black wardrobe with bits of color here and there ). ･ﾟ✧

B A C K G R O U N D

the story begins on december 21st in STILLWATER, OK, at 11:57pm…

this was when keiran giovanna lovell was born to vonnie & clarence lovell.

she was a planned child & was loved by her parents. she was raised in a two bedroom apartment

her mother was a stay-at-home mom & keiran’s dad was a journalist. he would often times spin tales as bedroom stories to help keiran fall asleep

the three were as close as a family could honestly be & nothing could stand in their way.

when kieran started school, her mom left her notes in her lunch & her dad would be the one to pick her up after school & they would have family dinners every night, talking about their day

happy was the only thing that kieran was seen as. she was joyful & sweet & so kind at a young age, putting others before herself.

then on march 4th, it seemed that the god had BLESSED them…

at some point the lovells decided that they could handle another child & keiran soon enough had a younger sister who was seven years younger than her.

her name was jacquie & it was an adjustment to get used to a baby in the house.

kieran was often jealous especially as her parents seemed to start paying more attention to her than kieran.

for a bit, kieran disliked the fact that her sister had ever been born - she wanted her family to be close-knit all over again.

the late night stories disappeared as did the notes in her lunch from her mom

kieran realized the distance that was growing between her & her family but yet she was still sweet & kind, only her outgoing personality seemed to dwindle

of course the devil had to INTERVENE on june 28th…

clement was born when keiran was ten years old & he was definitely unplanned

he threw a wrench in the lovell’s life when he came into the world

again, keiran watched as her parents juggled a baby & a toddler at the same time - wishing that it could’ve stay the three of them

it was during this time that keiran now had to share her room with her younger sister, something that she had never looked forward to ( her stuff was hers & she did not want to share )

despite the fact that jacquie was young, it was obvious that the same thing that happened to keiran only three years previous was happening to jacquie as well

her parents were not prepared for a third child so soon, if at all. & despite the fact that keiran wasn’t exactly happy to have a younger sister she made sure to look out for her so she didn’t get hurt around the house

soon enough, during the night time when it was supposed to be the calmest time of the day, there were doors slamming & loud voices taking over the night

it started when keiran was eleven & continued until she was fourteen

she hated the yelling & the weird smell of something toxic in the air, but she learned to live with it at a young age

her parents started to pay more & more attention to the negatives of one another rather than kieran & her siblings

it was during these three years that kieran grew closer & valued her siblings more & more

a fourteen, seven, & four year old now EMBARK on a journey…

with a mother who seemed to have given up in general & a father who seemed to look at the aisle of alcohol more than his own kids, the lovell children ended up in the foster care system.

keiran was scared, she was frightened to be torn away by the only place she had ever called home. she was terrified to be pulled apart from her siblings

she cried & she complained & she argued that they needed to stay together no matter what

a year went by without them being adopted & keiran needed to fix her mindset

she thought about it & decided that as long as they were within a city of one another she could visit them whenever she’d like & that then it would be okay

keiran loved the memories she had of her parents, but despised the fact that they left them to a bunch of strangers. keiran learned to love her siblings more than herself

in the following year it worked out in keiran’s favor. a couple decided to adopt jacquie as well as clement. at the same time they had a family friend who was willing to adopt keiran.

the only downside was that the family friend had lived two cities away ( a trip that took 4 hours to complete by bus & only 35 minutes driving )

nothing could separate a GODDESS from her lovers…

keiran was moved into a private school in which she stayed at during the week & on the weekends she always found a way to see her siblings

during the weekday she balanced working & school so that she could spoil her siblings & save up, while also keeping her grades up

her thoughts were set on making sure her siblings grew up happy & not thinking for a second that they were never not loved

she did good in high school, didn’t score the top grades, but was averaging between a 3.6-3.8 gpa

keiran suffered from paying attention to only her family though. she worked hard but never played. it seems that she grew socially-awkward, coming off as too harsh or blunt when she spoke to others

to say the least, there was a huge difference between keiran around her family & keiran everywhere else

she learned to be analytical & critical over her own work & her own ambitions. she thought that she needed to be better than herself

from the world keiran was closed-off & believed on proving her parents wrong. which is why she applied for business school

of course, growing up her younger sister saw how hard keiran was working & she straight up told her to go & live her own life & to stop worrying about her & clement

keiran was stunned to hear that from her sister? & kind of hurt as well ? everything she had planned for herself she had planned with her siblings in mind.

they continued to tell her that they had parents & that keiran needed to go out & be social & do what she wanted versus what was best for them ( in a loving way of course )

soon a goddess turned into a LONELY wanderer…

keiran went through with her business degree, but she gave her siblings space & room to grow themselves

she’s completing her two final semesters for her business degree as an online student !

this also gave herself room to grow & socialize. despite this there still seemed to be a wall between close friends & strangers, yet she has gotten better with people

she learned to love makeup & soon went & got a certificate in cosmetology as well as getting a bit into fashion & reading

she developed hobbies & things to do in her free time & once she turned twenty-three she decided to travel to kaos for a new life in which she’s trying to take a “vacation” & experience her life a bit more.

keiran admits that she was an adult for too long & needs to loosen up a bit.

#kaos:intro

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primeadv · 6 years ago

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SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :)))

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life. I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war. So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL. ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice. ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle. ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe. In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him. like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people. HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved? So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point? I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it. So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family. And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years. I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall). My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

#ratchet #dratchet

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irondad-not-ironsad · 6 years ago

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Hamilton National Tour thoughts

So yesterday I had the absolute pleasure of seeing Hamilton and ther were just a few hunts I’d like to note

During the first act Hamilton and Laurens are constantly doing this bro hug, you know the thing where dudes shake hands and pat each other on the back because they are “manly mans”. It’s adorable

Obviously it goes without saying but Eliza is so precious I love her

I mean tot say this at first but omg the spinning stage is literally the coolest thing, like it doesn’t seem like it would make that big a difference but it DOES

There were several times that the pit would have to extend the intro to a song because the crowd was cheering so loud, and the crowns I was in was mostly older people and I’ve seen several shows in this theater and never have I seen that much applause

Like honestly the entire experience was magical and live changing, but less about me and more about the show

In Farmer refuted, Hamilton attempts to confront the farmer a few times in the beginning but Burr stops him. Then, just before Hamilton’s “yo” Lafayette puts his arm around Burr, pints somewhere and essentially distracts him and takes him to the other side of the stage. Also Seabury keeps like moving to stand in front of Hamilton and at one point Hamilton his stands in the small pedestal with him. It’s hilarious.

The king. Honestly everything about the king was hilarious, more in him later but he dude is just so funny

The Laurens interlude into non-stop is so abrupt, like it really shows how Hamilton didn’t even like take time to grieve, he juts immediately got to work, He’s really “Non-Stop”

After Lafayette’s rap in cabinet battle, I forget which one, he does a mic drop but Madison catches it. I don’t know why it was so funny but the entire theater was cracking up.

I know others have mentioned it before but in take a break when Philip stands up and despite being nine looks like a grown man it’s so funny, it’s made even better when, immediately after his poem, he leaps into Hamilton’s arms. It’s so cute and so funny

Also i dont know if I’ve mentioned it but I would literally die for Eliza

In “We Know” when Hamilton calls Burr “senator” Burr rises a fist in the air, like celebrating his victory. It’s one of those small details that you don’t hear in the soundtrack that really makes the play

King George sits on the side and watches “Adams Administration” and he is living for the drama it is so funny. And then his dancing in Reynolds Pamphlet was iconic

Burn. Wow. Just wow. I cried, my 5 year old sister cried. My mom who “isn’t that into musicals” cried. If you think is powerful on the soundtrack, it’s ten times more powerful live. You can hear the emotion in her voice. I want to cry just thinking of it.

I don’t know why but he part of Blow Us All Away where Phillip confronts George was so funny. Like George in the balcony and Phillip yelling up at him? Iconic.

I’m sure others have mentioned t but Eliza’s scream at the end of Stay Alive (Reprise)? It was like someone was shredding my heart with a chainsaw and caught it on fire

If SAr caught my heart on fire, It’s Quite Uptown poured gasoline on it. You could hear Angelica sobbing as she sang. Like the song is sad, but seeing it live is indescribable

Also Madison’s “please” in the Election of 1800 was 10x funnier and more relatable live.

Burr discretely hands money to some of the people who are saying good things about him in this song, I think it was the guy who said “He seems approachable” but I’m not sure

The bullet in the world was wide enough? Iconic. Liek watcjing the ensemble pick up he bullet and try to stop it was breathtaking. Even though everyone obviously knows Hamilton does it is still devastating.

Burr is audibly crying while he sings after he shot Hamilton

I just need to take another moment because Eliza. I love her.

When Eliza says “I speak out against slavery,” Washington vows his head as if he’s ashamed because he didn’t. It truly is the details that make this show.

Towards the end of the final song Hamilton is standing by her, but in the end he steps aside so she alone stands in the spotlight

I know everyone talks about the gasp but I can’t just not mention it. Like after watching Eliza question if she has done enough to see her look to the audience and realize that because of her, his story is being told. I know is fictional, but I’m crying just thinking about it.

Also when they take final bows, Eliza is in the center,not Hamilton. I feel like this reinforces the theory that the title Hamilton refers to Alexander AND Eliza. There truly would be no hamilton without her

Honestly the show was amazing. I mentioned my mom earlier? She never really got me and my sisters obsession and didn’t really like musicals but she laughed and she cried so much. This orning when I woke up I heard her in the phone with one of her friends raving about how good it was, how life changing it was.

There are no words for how good Hamilton was. I’m still in shock honestly. Now I’m gonna go listen to the soundtrack again and cry

#hamilton #eliza hamilton #eliza schuyler #the schuyler sisters #hamliza #hamilton national tour #angelica schuyler #peggy schuyler #lin manuel miranda #musical #heathers #wicked #les mis #dear evan hansen #legally blonde #broadway

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