sungpeach

[sungpeach]

in the midst of busying himself with taking care of the dishes, byunghee addressing him made his movement slow and his skin shiver. sung was having a difficult time sorting out how he was feeling, and had been, for however long it was the two argued as if he wasn't even there, or even before.

all at once, he wished to curl up into a ball to cry, crash into byunghee with a hug to care for his overwhelmed emotions, and tell byunghee off for being so rude and confusing to himself and his mother. the nuanced feelings were inevitable when the situation itself was nuanced.

this meeting wasn't only an ill-timed argument between family members, it was the first time said family member was meeting sung, in an inopportune time. on top of that was the reason for byunghee and sung to have reconnected, one of the events in byunghee's life that sung felt enormous empathy for.

he lifted his head to look at byunghee facing him, but that was too much. lowering back down, he finished gathering the dishes to bring them to the sink and start washing. instead of trying to sort out his feelings in a situation that didn't call for it, he focused on byunghee instead. "is there anything i can do for you?"

byunghee had to muster all of his strength not to slam the door behind his mother as she left the apartment in a hurry. back when the scandal broke, a part of byunghee had wondered whether this would be something that could potentially damage his relationship with his parents, but he had brushed that thought away. if nothing else, byunghee had always been consistent in being grateful and supportive of his parents, of doing everything he possibly could to guarantee they'd live an easier life than they did for the past thirty years - a stark contrast to heeseung, who very obviously and openly resented their parents for the life they couldn't give him. 

yet not a single word of apology had been thrown his way, no acknowledgment that the only reason byunghee became the subject of national scrutiny and judgment was because of a wrong call by his father, whom byunghee had trusted blindly. just a pat on the shoulder and a question of whether byunghee had made the money back. and byunghee had chosen not to show his annoyance at it, but of course the anger had been building all this time. his mother showing up unannounced and making demands about his life was only bound to bring all of that to the surface.

sung was not supposed to be caught in the crossfire, though. he wasn't supposed to be here and now, with his mother gone, byunghee felt that even more intensely. "i'm sorry," he said, turning to face joosung. "you weren't supposed to see that."

[sungpeach]

by habit, sung might have placated more, mentioned, it's not a problem. if it had been someone else he knew, or even a stranger, he likely wouldn't have bitten his tongue and simply shifted the umbrella, and therefore himself, closer in.

he took a look out from under the awning to look for the aforementioned cab, only to come up blank. "um, are they not here yet?" how presumptuous it would have been for him to scoot in already if that was the case. although, another almost preferred idea came to mind, "or maybe they're around the other side of the building? we can- i don't mind walking with you a bit, if that's the case. i'm done for the day, so, i don't have anywhere to be."

ash likes the rain. loves it, even. pressed for something as trivial as a favorite weather, he'd name a thunderstorm. in a downpour, there's something about the grey clouds and the reflection of the city lights in the puddles on the ground that feels so much more magical than a day when the sun in the sky does nothing more than throw him off balance.

but today, he has a pounding headache and no umbrella and he really just wants to go home and pull his bed sheets over his head until sleep takes him. all the rain signals today is a regret for wearing a shirt thin enough he knows he'll feel like he's gone for a swim the minute he steps outside.

what's worse is his phone says his cab is right outside the building despite being nowhere in sight as far as he can tell, and he doesn't really want to just stand around getting soaked as he tries to find them.

that's the conundrum he's pondering, staring intently at his phone, when someone speaks up near him. he doesn't react; he tends to assume no one is ever speaking to him because he'd rather not talk to strangers. when the silence stretches out and makes it clear no one else is around, he finally looks up, first at the umbrella and then at joosung.

of course joosung's the type who just carries an umbrella with him.

"uh... sure...?" he's not sure why joosung is offering, but he can mentally acknowledge it's a nice gesture. he's not all that eager to jump at the chance to have to squeeze under one umbrella with someone he's never really left an encounter with caring if he sees again, but he'll take what he can get.

"i just need to get to my cab and then you can have it for yourself." he doesn't mention he has no idea where his cab is, but it's got to be out there somewhere, right?

[sungpeach]

"oh, i tried once, but it didn't go very well." he waved his hand as if waving away the subject. sung may, for the most part, be an open book, but that didn't mean he particularly enjoyed talking about the things that came tumbling out of his mouth. besides - soon after that empty birthday party he became a trainee. from then on, birthdays were mostly spent working towards his dream or working in his dream. "it can be hard to do that stuff as an idol anyway. you know, that age old question of where work stops and it's your personal life... chicken, egg..." he trailed off on his side tangent. "um, but i think it could be possible if you wanted to. i've found it's easiest to coordinate stuff like that if you plan really well, but also really close to the party's date. can't say i'm the best at that kind of thing, but i've been able to have a few parties like that."

hyojung can't bring herself to lie and promise joosung that she'd remember his as well, so she simply responds with a nod and another smile. the only birthdays she really remembered were her family's and a few close friends. while joosung was lovely to have as company, she wouldn't really call him a friend, so she can't see herself constantly remembering his birthday despite it only being a day apart from hers.

"thinking back on it, i think i usually spent my birthday working. i was probably fliming something or working on something and then getting a cake from my staff members," she says with a hum. "i don't think i'd mind having one big birthday celebration though. you know, renting out a party room and having a bunch of friends over." frankly, she can't say if she has enough friends for that, but it'd be fun to experience at least once. "have you ever had a big birthday celebration?"

[sungpeach]

as soon as byunghee flinched away, sung's leg did too, as the fear settled in that he might have made the wrong choice and made byunghee feel worse. yet, the fear quelled before it could fester, as he felt a relaxed byunghee reach to him, instead. for then, he could settle himself to feel like he was helping. after his mother left, they would be able to talk about it properly, so he could understand the limits. after all, if it was up to him to offer comfort without thinking of any other variables, he'd rather be sitting beside byunghee with the option of a far wider range of comforting motions.

although, he once again had to remind himself that being comforting meant leveling his own emotions, because even as his heart lurched at byunghee's interjection, he needed to stay as calm as he could be. sung didn't expect byunghee to be so brazen, considering the vague description he'd given was an out for both of them. he couldn't tell in the slightest how byunghee's mom felt about this, leaving him to guess and assume. as she brought up the word couple, his breath caught in his throat, halfway to a laugh prepped to diffuse the situation, but byunghee cut in.

his rain of thoughts on how terribly she might hate them for wearing a couple's costume and worse yet, sung wearing a female character's costume, quieted one by one for the time being with the change in topic. by the time the hammering in his heart slowed, he felt eyes, and like a magnetic pull, he turned his eyes to meet byunghee's.

sung swallowed. was this... byunghee admitting their relationship to his mother? was that the truth of the situation he was struggling to read? despite himself, his heart began to speed up again, but the mood had completely shifted. still unsure what cues were okay to pick up, he chose to skip past it for something he could understand better. "it's- it's okay. byunghee cares very deeply about you and his father. i believe he's only showing concern for his health like this because he cares." if he were more comfortable in this situation and family dynamic, he might have been more straightforward to tell byunghee if he isn't kind in his delivery, he won't get the result he wants, but also that his parents should take better care of themselves and accept care when given if they truly want to make byunghee happy. it wasn't the time, but he'd save those thoughts for the future.

joosung was different than his usual hookups and byunghee knew that his mother knew. every other time she had accidentally walked in on one of byunghee's hookups, he had rushed to send them away - and the vast majority of them weren't even interested in staying in the first place. byunghee knew that hyein took note of sung not only staying in but having breakfast with her. the last time someone in byunghee's life had breakfast with her was- it was so long ago, in an almost different life, with a completely different person byunghee felt no need to look back on, even if the downfall of the relationship had fallen almost exclusively on him. 

byunghee was startled away from his thoughts at the feeling of sung's leg pressed against his. his immediate reaction was to flinch away, recoiling at the sudden touch, at a touch that meant way, way more than byunghee ever wanted it to. yet when the moment of shock was gone, byunghee felt his body relaxing. there were worse things that could happen than playing footsies with joosung under the table while his mother sat there, after all. so byunghee stretched his leg, toes brushing joosung's calf, while still avoiding his eyes. 

"barbie," he interjected, spooning some rice into his bowl and putting some kimchi on top of it. "joosung went as barbie, i went as ken." byunghee took his mother to watch barbie, after all. she'd know the costumes. oh, did you take pictures? "yes, mom, but i don't think you want to see them." byunghee smirked and watched as annoyance flashed through her face for a split second before she settled on the more appropriate, yet just as infuriating, knowing look. that's a couple costume isn't it?

once again, byunghee couldn't avoid the flinch. "how's dad?" he cleared his throat as he changed subjects, finding himself getting increasingly irritated with her nosiness. "how was it with the doctor? did the insulin work?" yes, dear. "how long until he puts himself in the hospital again?" byunghee! can you behave, we have a guest! finally, finally, byunghee turned his gaze to joosung. "he's not a guest, though, is he? you're more of a guest than he is, mom."   

[sungpeach]

even if he hadn't known byunghee well enough to feel the discomfort, it was, in a moment more rare than himself, plastered like a neon sign in his actions. barely had a glance tossed his way before it was as if he wasn't in the room. it hurt, in a way where he couldn't make sense of the connecting emotions between knowing his strong feelings for byunghee were the catalyst and the end result of being hurt.

still, it wasn't about him. there are a hundred reasons why byunghee might be uncomfortable with this situation, and while he didn't dare to discern one as the absolute truth, he could resolve himself to the role of easing byunghee's emotions. that included trying his best to ease his own out of order emotions first.

to avoid the risk of making the situation worse, sung held back from holding byunghee's hand, but took his mother's instead. he closed his eyes as byunghee's mother led their prayer and dutifully gave his own amen, but before pulling his hand away, he gave hers a squeeze. "thank you, as well. this looks absolutely delicious." sung fixed himself a first bite and as he chewed, hummed approval. "my mother often says you can tell a lot about a person by the heart they put into their dishes."

although sung was glad for his mother's interest, there was no doubt he wasn't doing a good enough job to ease byunghee's emotions. especially with a question like this, what with the strewn jumpers on the floor being a good portion of why he was glad she'd yet to go in there. so, beneath the table, he stretched out a leg to press their calves together. if he had the gift of telepathy, he might have been saying that whatever was bothering byunghee, he didn't have to worry, and they'd get through it together. in actuality, he could only hope byunghee understood his intentions. "yes, my friend had a little gathering, so we went, and um, i dressed as someone from a movie i liked this year." sung took another bite. "how was your night? are you much of a halloween fan?"

most mornings, byunghee was barely cognisant enough to make sense of his surroundings, and even more so after a night of partying, drinking, and fucking; all in great excess. it was only the thought of not cooking breakfast with his junk out that had him putting on sweatpants before leaving his bedroom - to run into joosung and his mother, of all people. 

byunghee's eyes widened and he stood there in some level of shock for a moment, as joosung explained to his mother how the two of them met. having sung interact with his mother was not in byunghee's plans, not for the foreseeable future. it implied too many things, too strong things, in a way that he knew wasn't the case for all the other hookups his mother had accidentally met in the past - because none of the said hookups had a toothbrush in his bathroom or a designated pair of slippers and byunghee did not want to think about it. 

"hi mom," he recovered quickly, walking towards her and leaning down to let her kiss his cheek. "have you been here long?" her reply was a simple about half an hour and the look on her face as their eyes met was too knowing for byunghee's taste. he knew it was a conversation he would have to endure later. "you didn't have to do this." of course i did, the two of you look exhausted. "well, yeah, you know how halloween goes." there was an implication in her tone that sent a shudder down byunghee's spine, his mother way too comfortable addressing these subjects. it made byunghee miss the time when she was more homophobic. 

"uh, sure," byunghee turned to sung, taking the seat opposite to him on the table, next to where his mother was sitting, and avoiding sung's gaze at all cost. "wanna lead, mom?" byunghee held her hand as she thanked for the food, for his and joosung's health and well being, and said amen when he was supposed to. when he reached for the food, byunghee still didn't want to look at joosung, but his mother seemed all too interested in engaging in a conversation. did you two dress up for halloween?

[sungpeach]

as always with sung, his emotions stamped proud on his body with the small deflation of his shoulders. if he'd gotten up only ten minutes earlier, he might have been able to at least be some help. as it stood, he was taking her graciousness with no proper thanks to give. the best he could do in the moment was rush over to take some of the dishes off of her hands and to the table.

after that, he had a mind to listen as he should and take a seat, but he also worried whether he should be going to get byunghee. or was it less strange for his mother to get him? then again, he wasn't sure it would be appropriate for her to see the state of the room.

thankfully, his questions were cut short as the door opened. instead came a new slew of hypothetical scenarios about how byunghee might feel about the scene before him. his pregnant pause accompanied looking at byunghee, hoping to discern what the result might be. he drew out an, "um," to cut the time, and forcibly pulled his eyes away to meet his mothers's instead. "we met quite a while ago, actually. we were stationed together during our military service," sung loosened as he spoke, finally sitting down, and a curve of his lips overlayed his words by the end. "we lost touch afterwards, but we met again earlier this year. it's been quite nice getting to know each other again."

while he understood they'd been speaking for such a small amount of time and she inevitably had questions, sung worried spending too much time talking about himself wouldn't come off as his authentic self. however, rather than overwhelm her with too much again, he would rather show their common beliefs. "shall we say grace?"

hyein wasn't in the business of interfering with her sons' lives. they were already grown and - mostly - put together men who rarely disappointed her. but while byunghee wasn't always appreciative of it, since he got in trouble trying to make her and his father happy, she felt the necessity of checking in on him as often as possible. and so she would, sometimes, let herself into his apartment, usually to clean some things up and to leave some food for him in the fridge. this time, she wanted only to cook him a nice breakfast and she definitely wasn't counting on someone else coming out of byunghee's bedroom. 

she'd had enough time to contend with her son's... proclivities, and while she still didn't fully understand it, byunghee had never given her a reason to not trust him. so she forced herself to be happy for him and to accept him for what he was, but if the young man wanted to refer to himself as her son's friend, she was willing to roll with it. "oh, hello," hyein smiled - he looked sweet, at least. better than some of the girls her son had unfortunately paraded around in the past. "ah, honey, don't worry," she waved him off, plating the eggs she had fried and grabbing the container of kimchi off the fridge. "i'm almost done, just take a seat."

she went through the motions of serving the food she had prepared - the eggs, the spam, the kimchi, the rice -, setting the table for three instead of two. "so, how long have you and byunghee been... friends?"

[sungpeach]

"i'll for sure be remembering yours. honestly, i'm surprised i didn't know it already." it had never crossed sung's mind before that he didn't remember the birthdays of idols he was a fan of, that is, unless it was iu. more likely, he spend so much of his brain power on the birthdays of friends. his friends just happened to be a lot of idols nowadays. hyojung happened to not quite be one of them, whether it be due to the idol and fan distance or something else, sung wasn't sure, but this conversation could be the start to building that friendship properly.

"hm, every birthday is special in its own way..." though sung enjoyed the idea of having a birthday party, it was never feasible, so most of his birthdays were spent on, "it's the little things that matter, don't you think? time with people you love, time showing yourself love. are you a big celebration type of person for your birthday?"

she didn't expect anybody to approach her as she waited for her manager, so to say that hyojung was surprised by joosung's appearance would be an understatement. however, she did her best to hide her surprise before greeting him with a smile. frankly, she can't remember that much about her former company mate, but it seemed like he always had a smile on his face.

"oh, really?" she asked back with a chuckle. "i didn't know that. i'll be sure to remember your birthday from now on," she comments with a nod. "did you do something special for your birthday this year?" while she didn't expect his company, hyojung doesn't think it'd be bad to have someone to keep her busy as she waited for her manager. it'd be more awkward for her to just be sitting around at her old company. with joosung around, at least it looked like she was here with a purpose.

[sungpeach]

few things in the world were more embarrassing than this. sung'd barely gotten an, "ah- hello," before embarrassment and red tinted skin filled every inch of his body. as he bowed - with proper posture, the least he could do - sung was ever so grateful that he had chosen to put his pants back on before coming out of the room that morning.

nonetheless, he felt extremely underdressed. the feeling of the soft cotton on his skin was suddenly as if it was sandpaper. sung had imagined meeting byunghee's mother a million times over the last eight years, yet not a single time was it ever anything close to this. with how cautious byunghee had been about their relationship, he wasn't even sure how much she knew about him, if anything at all.

"i apologize for the intrusion and for looking so..." disheveled, he'd say, but he didn't want to seem like he was fishing for compliments. instead, he raised from his bow and smoothed his hands over his hair in case it might have been sticking up from rolling around in his sleep. "um, i'm choi joosung, byunghee's friend." he barely paused half a second before continuing, "you've raised a wonderful son. and-and i've very much been looking forward to meeting you." everything he wanted to say came blurting out before much of anything had occurred to the point that after he finished, it only then occurred that she must be here for a reason. being in the kitchen, he turned his attentions to a less intense conversation topic, "are you, um, would you like help with anything?"

@endueringfire

[sungpeach]

sung was regretting having requested to take himself to his schedules today. he enjoyed time alone, but the car wasn't a particularly fun place to be alone. on top of that, it was raining.

rain was a fickle creature in sung's mind, one with both a sense of solemn sadness and warm coziness, depending on the day. in its truth, he knew that it was based around his emotions more than anything else, yet, like any part of the natural world around him, it made him feel more connected to imagine it as a creature with a sense of self.

today, his friend the rain felt lonely, and sung felt lonely with it.

as he opened his umbrella, ready to fully exit the building from his day's schedule, sung noticed someone in a worse predicament than he was. sung made his way over, and though he hesitated when he realized he recognized the person, he still offered, "would you like to share?" and wiggled the umbrella to make his point.

@ofgreyskies

[sungpeach]

yar hit me with a like if you want to re-plot or an emoji for a starter (where i'll assume we'll go based on whatever plot we had before)

[sungpeach]

"ah, hyojung!" sung exclaimed without thinking at the sight of hyojung. honestly, he'd been missing out on any social time recently, so anyone he recognized would have had him excited, but running into hyojung was particularly good timing.

similar to only feeling the slightest twinge of embarrassment at almost yelling, he was able to push down the worry about not approaching her and hurried his steps over to her. "did you know - oh gosh - i just found out about this and i've been dying to tell you." he paused, as if for dramatic effect, but didn't wait long enough for the effect to sink in. "our birthdays are only a day apart. we're almost birthday friends."

with @sungpeach

despite this having been her company for seven years, it felt weird for hyojung to step back into everlast's building again. maybe it's because she had to practically sneak in so word about angelic coming back wouldn't leak out, but it felt like she was getting stuck somewhere, for the lack of a better term. nevertheless, she was still excited about releasing new music. drive was her attempt at doing something on her own, but she quickly learned that she feels so much better performing with others instead.

her manager has left her to deal with some technical things—he said something about not paying for guest parking—and so she was feeling like a stranger in a building that was once her own. fiddling around with her bag, she let out a sigh as she looked at some of the artists passing by. she could recognize a few of them, but it was hard to put names to faces. this is what she gets for living as an actress for the past three years, huh?

all she could think about was what this next comeback will look like. she was here for the overall briefing anyway, but would they return to their original sound and concept? or would everlast want them working on something retro again? frankly, she was a bigger fan of their original sound and was hoping they'd stick with that, but none of that was ever up to her. nothing ever was at everlast.

[sungpeach]

Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describe you? Do you consider yourself unloveable? What is one thing you deeply regret doing?

Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describe you?

hm... i'm not sure i like that question. as flawed creatures, we influence each other to indulge in sins and are influenced by the devil as well. but i believe, even those who aren't religious try to avoid the deadly sins, same as we all try to follow the commandments. i wish i could say i haven't committed these sins, but i've committed them all at one point or another. they don't describe me, though. the person i am is much larger than my failures.

Do you consider yourself unloveable?

no, not usually. though, there are times i worry about it, yes. there was a period in my teens where i thought it quite often. however, i think those emotions are a fear that isn't very founded. with fears, i find it important to recognize not only the self you see when you're in your worst mindset, but the self you see when you're alright or happy, too. emotions are important, but they aren't always the full picture.

What is one thing you deeply regret doing?

i have many regrets, through the path of simply living life. one i think about decently often is um, well, i had someone who was a new friend. we were still getting to know each other and we liked each other, but i found out they has brushed plans with me under the rug for someone else and it really hurt. it was, it was wrong, but i ended up breaking their guitar. later on, i found out that i was brushed off for a different, more serious reason than i thought. i bought them a new guitar with extra strings too, since i felt so horrible, but that doesn't make the original act okay.

[sungpeach]

his hands curled into a singular ball on his lap as byunghee pulled his away, at which point, sung's brows furrowed and his head shook. he wanted to say we were, but - they'd been there before, had this conversation already. more than that, the most hurtful part came as he continued speaking, burdening sung with the knowledge that liking him wasn't enough. to sung, nothing byunghee was saying made sense. the edges of a headache slipped through the valleys of his scrambled thoughts.

obsessed wasn't the right word to use with someone you were trying to leave. if byunghee were truly obsessed, this wouldn't be happening. the dam broke as tears began to roll down his lashes into his lap. one of his hands reached out to the arm of byunghee's shirt and gripped, and as his head raised to look byunghee in the eyes again, he said, "please be obsessed with me." really, truly, obsessed. his wish came bursting out like it couldn't be held in. sung leaned forward as his other hand came to byunghee's neck, "i can't- i can't be just friends with you." he put effort into trying, and only sort of succeeding, to steady his trembling lip. to ground himself, his hand raised to the back of byunghee's head to grip his hair instead. "and i feel like dying every second i'm away from you. how could i survive without you?" each word had sung leaning forward, scooting, until he had fallen off of the couch and placed himself on byunghee's lap. his hands readjusted, one shaking across the curl of byunghee's cheek while the other found a sturdier spot in his hair. sung's eyes roamed over the face so close to his, remembering each centimeter he'd lovingly mapped over the years, before landing back to eye contact. "how am i supposed to be yours if i'm not yours?"

byunghee's sharp inhale echoed across the room. he had always found it a little hard to find the proper words when it came to personal conversations and it was proving to be even more difficult at this moment when it was clear, time and time agian, that he and sung were never on the same place. but like a bandaid, byunghee had to rip it away. "joosung, baby," byunghee rested both his hands on joosung's knees. "we were never really dating."

he wondered, momentarily, if he was making things worse by saying that. byunghee didn't envision a world where sung would take it well, but he reckoned he could try his best to soften up the blow. "you— you are great," byunghee felt the weight of those words as soon as they came out, trying to be as genuine as possible. "and there's so much between us, so much of me that you know and other people don't. i'm— honestly, quite obsessed with you. i like you and our history a lot, joosung. but you want a boyfriend, and i don't think i can be one. not right now."

[sungpeach]

sung allowed himself to be shifted over to the couch, though, as he sat, he took an extra few seconds to look to the ceiling and try to blink back his tears. he's been here before, way more times than he wished was the case. how was it possible that in every conversation where he felt like he went into it with a strength and power, it always turned back to byunghee having all of it?

if he were truthful with himself, this was the inevitability he was trying to avoid. he knew why - how even as a grimace began at the mention of his ex, the touch he desperately craved over his ear kept him in place instead of reeling back. when they split back in the military, he didn't have this, but he'd imagined it a hundred times. now with the experience of so many break ups, the picture still was never as clear and painful as the one in front of him.

he dropped his eyes to their hands. if they weren't held, they might have been shaking. sung's voice cracked as he said, "so you want to break up."

"those... those are expectations that come with relationships, sung," perhaps honesty is the best solution. while byunghee doesn't think they are in the best place, physically, to be having a conversation as serious as this one, he also reckons that there's no better time than today. "look, princess... come here." the room is fancy enough for there to be a couch and byunghee drags the two of them there, making sure sung is sitting down and byunghee kneels in front of him, his hands holding onto sung's on the younger man's lap.

byunghee takes a deep breath. if this time away from joosung had given him clarity for something, it's the fact that he knows what he wants and what he can do at the moment. it's s level of comfort that can be adjusted with time, but he's realised he needs to be the adult between the two of them, and at least for once in his life be a grown up when it comes to feelings and relationships. "you know i recently came out from a very, very public relationship, don't you?" byunghee reaches out, brushing a stand of hair behind joosung's ear. "if i'm being honest, it was a very important relationship to me and i don't think i've been handlings things well since then."

"and the thing is... i think you want a boyfriend," byunghee tries to keep his voice soft, like he's talking to a child. "and i don't know if i'm ready to be a boyfriend right now. but i also... don't want to fully give up on you. so i think we need to- align our expectations, if we still want to be in each other's lives."

[sungpeach]

it felt natural, comfortable, to fit himself against the curled up form of rioh. against the low sound of a show playing in the background, he might have fallen asleep. sung hummed after rioh spoke, "that can definitely be difficult. it took me quite a while for this place to even feel like, you know, like home." he looked around the living area as he reminisced, from the curtains gifted by a friend to the slightly off kilter slipper rack by the door. it wasn't the stuff that made it feel like home, in the end. it helped, sure, but what it really took was the freedom of allowing himself to truly live in his apartment. what he saw in the curtains was a reminder to invite a dear friend over again. what he saw in the rack was the shaking off of a hard work's day leading to slippers, too, flopped down in order to get to the best part of being home - relaxing. home meant more than material items and sung could guess that was part of why rioh didn't feel comfortable. "i've found it can be helpful to carve out space for yourself, even if it's a desk that faces away from the other member's side of the room." did idols still room together these days? he wasn't sure. "either way, you can feel free to come by whenever i'm around." aki might get too scared if people were around when he wasn't.

"ah, but it's so comfy here." sung nuzzled against rioh's cheek, then backed up with a chuckle. "mm, i have some leftover soup. maybe we can reheat that and save the prep time? you don't have to do anything to warrant being here. i'm happy to just have your company."

SAFE / HAVEN

♡ WRITTEN, WITH LOVE, FOR IDOL CHOI JOO SUNG MID-SEPTEMBER, EVENING, JOOSUNG'S RESIDENCE

it all started with a "can i come over? 🥺" text message from rioh to joosung, and now, he finds himself sprawled across his senior's couch; making himself right at home. their relationship is one that the younger of them cherishes, and he hopes that he never, ever does anything to mess it up. not only has he looked up to joosung since he debuted, but after he made a small guest appearance on season one of "square's dream," the two of them got to talking off-set and realized they had a lot in common.

they see eye-to-eye on many things, they have similar passions, and rioh confirmed to himself that viewing sung as a role model is a fantastic idea. to him, choi joosung's the real deal—someone who isn't only talented, but also kind. genuinely kind. it's reshaped a lot of how he views other celebrities, all for the better.

sighing contently, he repositions himself on the sofa so that he's basically curled on top of joosung like a cat; soaking up his warmth, positive energy, and affection. although no roseate haze surrounds them, he appreciates that he can be physically loving with another person. it means that they, too, speaks his love language.

"thanks for letting me come hangout here for a little while," rioh begins, offering a smile. "sometimes being at the dorm isn't very relaxing, even if i try really hard to make it that way." it's not that the other members mistreat him, or that the apartment they reside in itself is uncomfortable. it's more that the energy of his home, at times, still feels like work. "since you were nice enough to host me, do you want me to make us something to eat?" he offers, always happy to cook. "i can go raid your refrigerator, and see what i can whip up using what you already have? are you hungry?"

[sungpeach]

have you ever tried to be less obnoxious? (🙃) in the future, what are some goals you'd like to accomplish outside of the music-sphere?

have you ever tried to be less obnoxious?

mhmm. for a lot of years. when i was really young and kids didn't like me, it took a while for me to learn that. i don't think the things i changed helped, though, like, i tried to be more agreeable and sociable, and they didn't like that either. it took... i think it was about when i became a trainee that i started actually seeing it for what it was. i could be too much, you know? it wasn't that i needed to be more, but that i needed to be less. i think i've gotten much better at it. still, i'm not perfect, and even if i were, some people would dislike that too. it'll always be a process for me to accept that not everyone will like me. some very great people do like me, though, so i'm happy with that.

in the future, what are some goals you'd like to accomplish outside of the music-sphere?

oh gosh, i have so many! it probably won't happen, but i really hope i can send off my niece and nephew when they go to school for their first day. just in general i can't wait for them to grow up. i'd also like to help my family succeed the business well. these days, i think they've all accepted that i'm not the right person to run the business, but i want to help make it smoother for my brother and my parents to hand it off when the time is right. um, i'd like the little things too, like new skills to learn and whatnot, but if it's just the big stuff, i really hope i can have a good love one day. i wish... i'm not sure if it would be possible for me, but i'd like to marry my love and have kids. family is so important to me that, um, gosh, yeah, um, don't wanna cry here. but, um, one day, maybe. i hope so.

[sungpeach]

if you could collab with any other k artist, who would it be?

iu! don't ask me this too much or i'll start being a broken record. i've been a fan of hers since day one and i don't think i have the capability to stop. it's a bit of a pipe dream to think about that, though. but, um, if it's not, like, a music collab, i'd really love to mc with leeteuk. i think i'd learn so much from him just by being near him.