#endueringfire

[sungpeach]

( to: byunghee❣️🥰❣️ )

⤻ good morniiiiiiing!!!!! 🌻🌼 i hope your day is filled with the happiest of memories and as little stress as possible. 🤩 🥳 you're strong and talented!!!! fighting!! 💪💪 ⤻ missing you againnnnn~ 👻 ⤻ oh my gosh i just saw two pigeons 🐦 sharing a meal together 😭 why isn't that me 🙈 ⤻ [picture of coffee and water bottle] ⤻ 😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚 ⤻ it's so difficult sitting in on meetings 😖 they're so often boring.. i know they're important and i want to be a part of this process, but it's not all fun ⤻ [short video of dance practice] what do you think? 🧐🧐 i think i might be too sloppy, especially towards the end there 😔 but i'm going to keep trying!!!! 🤗 i must!!!!!!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗 ⤻ 😖😖😖😖 i feel like i need five showers after today 🛁 ⤻ i might try reading before bed tonight 😊🥰 ⤻ [selfie] end of the day~ 🥱🥱 home home 🏠 ⤻ the sunset 🌆 is so beautiful.. i wish i was sharing this with you.. 💞 ⤻ [video of cat playing] isn't aki the cutest? 🐱 ⤻ i'm making dinner.... 🍑🍭🥟 thinking about what i can make for you next.. 🍤? 🍳? 🍕? ⤻ i bet my niece 👼🏻 would really love you. she's been enamored with muscly 💪💪 people recently. i can't wait for you to meet her 🥰🥰 she's really the best 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 ⤻ i think next time we meet 🫂 i'd like to take you to a movie 🎥 we could hold hands 👬👬 the whole time and nobody would know 🥺🥰you'll have to let me know what kind of movie you want to see 🧐 i can plan it all!!!!! 😚😚 ⤻ [post-face wash selfie] won't you join me~ 😇 ⤻ ah 😖... i read this line in the book...🥺🥺🥺 it reminded me of you😖...😔😚 ah my heart aches😰😰💔🥺 please promise to mend it soon❤️‍🩹🤕🤒🤒 ⤻ i'm struggling to sleep because i'm thinking of you😖 ⤻ gosh you havent replied all day 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i'm really missing you over here 🥺😤

@endueringfire

[yebinisms]

How do you manage to stay true to yourself in an industry known for its pressures and expectations? Can you share a memorable moment from your idol journey that had a profound impact on you as a person, beyond your career? What's a typical day like for you when you're not performing or practicing?

How do you manage to stay true to yourself in an industry known for its pressures and expectations?

"i don't think it's that hard. at the end of the day, the only person who truly knows who i am is me. i just need to keep that engraved in my mind. who knows, maybe that'll become harder as my career goes on but right now, i'm not having a hard time staying true to myself."

Can you share a memorable moment from your idol journey that had a profound impact on you as a person, beyond your career?

"when i participated in all or nothing, i don't think i was expecting to debut. it's not that i wasn't confident, but i didn't put my life on the line like some of the other contestants. that might make me sound cocky, but it's true. making the debut line up sort of gave me that confidence boost i needed, sort of. it was a sign that i made the right choice when i decided to step foot in this industry and made me feel more confident about the choices i make in life."

What's a typical day like for you when you're not performing or practicing?

"i get up at noon on a good day. if i can't get up by that time, i'm probably in bed until like two or three and then i just spend it in bed unless someone calls me out. i'd like to get out more and maybe just watch people at a cafe, but i don't think culture creative's a very big fan of that so i just stay indoors. i'll meet a friend if they ask me to come out, but other than that i just like to spend that time relaxing and not worrying about what's next on my schedule."

[hyoisms]

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? How do you deal with failure? What is your most embarrassing memory?

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

"if i wasn't a part of this industry, i think i'd be more worried about doing the right things. however, with this job comes the pressure that if i don't do things right, i won't have much of a career. so i guess i'm more worried about doing things right."

How do you deal with failure?

"i move on from it after taking whatever i can learn from the experience. there's no need to dwell on something that's already happened. of course, i can't stop myself from kicking my sheets from time to time because of those memories, but they won't stop me from moving on with my life."

What is your most embarrassing memory?

"back when i was a rookie, i remember going on stage without my shoes on. i'm not even sure how it happened, but i recall getting backstage with my slippers on and then taking those off before actually stepping on stage. thankfully, it was for a rehearsal so it wasn't broadcasted."

[sungpeach]

his hands curled into a singular ball on his lap as byunghee pulled his away, at which point, sung's brows furrowed and his head shook. he wanted to say we were, but - they'd been there before, had this conversation already. more than that, the most hurtful part came as he continued speaking, burdening sung with the knowledge that liking him wasn't enough. to sung, nothing byunghee was saying made sense. the edges of a headache slipped through the valleys of his scrambled thoughts.

obsessed wasn't the right word to use with someone you were trying to leave. if byunghee were truly obsessed, this wouldn't be happening. the dam broke as tears began to roll down his lashes into his lap. one of his hands reached out to the arm of byunghee's shirt and gripped, and as his head raised to look byunghee in the eyes again, he said, "please be obsessed with me." really, truly, obsessed. his wish came bursting out like it couldn't be held in. sung leaned forward as his other hand came to byunghee's neck, "i can't- i can't be just friends with you." he put effort into trying, and only sort of succeeding, to steady his trembling lip. to ground himself, his hand raised to the back of byunghee's head to grip his hair instead. "and i feel like dying every second i'm away from you. how could i survive without you?" each word had sung leaning forward, scooting, until he had fallen off of the couch and placed himself on byunghee's lap. his hands readjusted, one shaking across the curl of byunghee's cheek while the other found a sturdier spot in his hair. sung's eyes roamed over the face so close to his, remembering each centimeter he'd lovingly mapped over the years, before landing back to eye contact. "how am i supposed to be yours if i'm not yours?"

byunghee's sharp inhale echoed across the room. he had always found it a little hard to find the proper words when it came to personal conversations and it was proving to be even more difficult at this moment when it was clear, time and time agian, that he and sung were never on the same place. but like a bandaid, byunghee had to rip it away. "joosung, baby," byunghee rested both his hands on joosung's knees. "we were never really dating."

he wondered, momentarily, if he was making things worse by saying that. byunghee didn't envision a world where sung would take it well, but he reckoned he could try his best to soften up the blow. "you— you are great," byunghee felt the weight of those words as soon as they came out, trying to be as genuine as possible. "and there's so much between us, so much of me that you know and other people don't. i'm— honestly, quite obsessed with you. i like you and our history a lot, joosung. but you want a boyfriend, and i don't think i can be one. not right now."

[sungpeach]

few things in the world were more embarrassing than this. sung'd barely gotten an, "ah- hello," before embarrassment and red tinted skin filled every inch of his body. as he bowed - with proper posture, the least he could do - sung was ever so grateful that he had chosen to put his pants back on before coming out of the room that morning.

nonetheless, he felt extremely underdressed. the feeling of the soft cotton on his skin was suddenly as if it was sandpaper. sung had imagined meeting byunghee's mother a million times over the last eight years, yet not a single time was it ever anything close to this. with how cautious byunghee had been about their relationship, he wasn't even sure how much she knew about him, if anything at all.

"i apologize for the intrusion and for looking so..." disheveled, he'd say, but he didn't want to seem like he was fishing for compliments. instead, he raised from his bow and smoothed his hands over his hair in case it might have been sticking up from rolling around in his sleep. "um, i'm choi joosung, byunghee's friend." he barely paused half a second before continuing, "you've raised a wonderful son. and-and i've very much been looking forward to meeting you." everything he wanted to say came blurting out before much of anything had occurred to the point that after he finished, it only then occurred that she must be here for a reason. being in the kitchen, he turned his attentions to a less intense conversation topic, "are you, um, would you like help with anything?"

@endueringfire

[its-jace]

jihoon can't seem to disagree about the mimosa statement, but as someone who drank mainly and only whiskey, he can't say two glasses of champagne really would do much.. he doesn't say it out loud, he just shrugs in defeat and acceptance at the other's statement. what else was there to really say about this? "champagne isn't my thing really." he answers honestly. he had one mimosa when he got at the brunch and called it a day after that.

as soon as the other's, well, byunghee's cigarette is light, jihoon slips his lighter back into his pocket and focuses on his own cigarette, nearly out which was ever so slightly upsetting. he shouldn't get another one out, but he will have to wait and see "oh, i'm jace. nice to meet you." he says with a politely bow, despite his brows furrowing at the question if they have met before. "i am not sure… do you do music?"

the best thing about seoul, byunghee thinks, is that no matter where he goes someone is definitely going to have a lighter at hand. it would kill his mother to see how much he smokes on a daily basis, but byunghee likes to believe that she'd understand it a little bit if she truly knew how much pressure he's constantly wonder. he knows it's a feeling most people in this industry share and has been, in more than one occasion, an opportunity for some level of bonding. even though he's not feeling like the most sociable person at the moment, byunghee knows to act as a approachable and friendly as possible.

"thanks man," he reaches for the lighter, then proceeds to spend a solid minute attempting to light his cigarette while holding onto the umbrella. byunghee is very aware of the image he carries and how people perceive him, mostly because of his carefully crafted celebrity persona, and he knows part of it banks on him being cool. it is very decidedly not cool when he keeps fighting against the lighter and lets out a few more curses, especially as he manages to burn the tip of his thumb a little.

"fucking hell," quitting the act, he turns to the guy with what he hopes is not that much of a pathetic expression. surely he can get away with asking something like this, right? "man, i hate to say this, but would you mind lighting it for me? i think i had a little too much to drink, and my fingers are slipping." the lie slips out easy, but byunghee is attempting to save some face.

[sungpeach]

( to: byunghee )

⤻ what would you consider flirting.. ⤻ i need rules or i'll just.. ⤻ i don't want to mess us up

( to: princess )

⤻ stop flirting with your friends

[sungpeach]

( to: byunghee )

⤻ i want you too.... ⤻ so then how can i fix us?

( to: princess )

⤻ of course i want you

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ well i didn't ask for that! ⤻ i only care if you want me ⤻ why don't you trust that.. ⤻ aren't i trustworthy.. ⤻ i got so mad about it because that's all i care about

( to: princess )

⤻ i think you're lying to yourself right now princess ⤻ everybody with eyes wants a piece of you sung

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ lying is bad i don’t lie…. honesty is so important to me.. i would never lie to you ⤻ i didnt think my friends thought of me like that.. ⤻ do they actually?

( to: princess )

⤻ well i think you're being emotionally dishonest ⤻ i don't think you're the type of person who can separate that from feelings ⤻ so where does that leave me? ⤻ you want us to be exclusive but i have to sit and watch you batting your eyelashes at all of your friends while they blatantly stare at your ass?

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ i didnt.. think it mattered that much to you.. ⤻ that's how i've always been with friends ⤻ it's not romantic i swear

( to: princess )

⤻ don't know princess

⤻ it's a bit hypocritical for you to be angry at me when you're always flirting with other guys don't you think?

⤻ if you're sitting on guys' laps and giving them cheek kisses you can't fault me for assuming it wasn't exclusive...

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ i wouldn't do that.... ⤻ ..is this about what i said at your place? ⤻ it wasn't a real threat ⤻ i just ⤻ i just wanted you to know how i felt

( to: princess )

⤻ don't see how they are

⤻ you told me you were mine but kept enticing someone else

⤻ who's to say you wouldn't have jumped into bed with them if given the chance?

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ i'd consider that making a fuss ⤻ and it wasn't flirting. i like to be affectionate ⤻ and i sure didn't invite him into my bed ⤻ or multiple people over MONTHS ⤻ do you not see how wildly different those two things are

( to: princess )

⤻ well i caught you flirting with that dude and i didn't make a fuss out of it so what about it

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ i said it ⤻ so either you weren't listening or you decided to go against what i said. both of which are horrible

( to: princess )

⤻ we never said otherwise! ⤻ like ⤻ i said you were mine ⤻ not that we were each other's

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ then why did you think it would apply in the first place..

( to: princess )

⤻ im not trying anything! ⤻ im just stating something that exists ⤻ not that it should apply to us

[sungpeach]

( to: cheater )

⤻ are you trying to make me mad? ⤻ if that's what you're looking for, i'm not the person for you ⤻ i'd rather swallow glass than share my person

( to: princess )

⤻ open relationships exist you know