#or do you believe that we can lose our salvation too?

[just-bible-musings]

Agree with most of what @fearofgodandtolkien said, but no, we are NOT "inherently holy." God created us with the capacity for holiness, He created us to experience and live in His holiness, but we are NOT born good or holy.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God. Luke 18:19

And all of 1 John 4, which basically says, if you have love, then that love came from God. It did NOT come from yourself.

Also, the KJV version of Galatians 5:22-23:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Most other versions that I've seen translate "temperance" as "self-control." This is one of the many reasons why I only use the KJV. The translators chose to use a word that completely removes any concept of "self," which absolutely makes sense, because the SELF doesn't figure into an equation that is 100% the work of the Holy Spirit. The whole point of salvation is to REMOVE the old, wicked, evil, sinful self and replace it with God's holiness:

And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh: Ezekiel 11:19

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2

In addition, the Bible even says we were born evil:

Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. Ephesians 2:3

"By nature," i.e., by birth, we were "the children of wrath," i.e., children of evil.

I cannot even begin to describe how thoroughly DISGUSTED I am whenever I see other Christians spreading the idea that "humans are inherently good." That is 100% a worldly (read: Satanic) mindset. I, personally, have spoken with several people who have utterly rejected Christ and salvation because they believed they can learn to be good "outside of religion," as they put it. Satan invented this lie when he rebelled against God. Satan himself believes this lie. That is the ENTIRE REASON he is God's enemy, because he believes he is right/good/holy/justified/<insert word here> without God. And I CANNOT abide seeing other Christians perpetuating this Satanic lie.

Look, we joke a lot, but really, "you were born evil, wretched, worse than the scum of the earth, and it took killing a god to make you salvageable, so now you'd better be grateful to that god and thank him 10,000 times a day for it and fill your thoughts with him 24/7 and abide by the letter of his every word, lest you suffer unimaginable torture for all of eternity" is a truly horrendous thing to believe about yourself and other people

[receival]

supernatural, seasons 1 - 5 starters.

the following is a collection of starter sentences from the cw show, supernatural.

i can’t do this alone.

where you headed?

no way i’m telling you.

i have these nightmares, and sometimes they come true.

you’re all i’ve got.

we go after this damn thing, together.

can i help you?

i kind of — i need to talk.

i’ve done some things … not good things.

there’s always forgiveness for us if we seek it.

salvation was created for sinners.

tell me what’s on your mind.

i’ve lied. a lot.

does that make me a bad person?

i know what you are.

you can’t be here.

this is hallowed ground.

maybe that works in the minor leagues, but not with me.

you’re wasting your time.

even if i did know where they were, i wouldn’t tell you.

this is everything i know.

what happened to them is not your fault.

it’s not my fault, but it’s my problem.

it’s not your problem. it’s our problem.

you got any better ideas?

this ends. now.

i’m ending it. i don’t care what it takes.

although i’m not too crazy about this new tone of yours — you’re right.

think real hard. it’ll come to you.

last time i saw you, you fell out a window.

i don’t know what you’re talking about.

this is what war looks like. it has casualties.

i’m gonna kill you, you know that?

sorry? i didn’t quite get that.

what the hell are you looking at?

who said anything about handing it over?

i want to stop losing the people i love.

i just … i just want this to be over.

did you get it?

you know this is a trap, don’t you?

don’t get yourself killed, alright? you’re no good to us dead.

it’s your fight. you finish this.

i want to thank you. for everything.

even when i couldn’t count on anyone, i could always count on you.

i wanted to let you know, just in case.

you kidding me? don’t say just in case something happens to you. i don’t want to hear that speech.

no one’s dying tonight.

i was hoping to kill more of your friends.

you know, i must admit, considering what they say about you, i thought you’d be … taller.

well aren’t you the chatty one?

i can’t believe you just shot me!

i’m so not in the mood for this.

holy water, (name). real cute.

where the hell did it go?

if you had just let me go in there, i could have ended all this.

the only thing you would have ended is your life.

you’re just willing to sacrifice yourself?

that’s not gonna happen — not as long as i’m around.

it’s not worth dying over.

no matter what we do, they’re gone. and they’re never coming back.

sometimes i barely feel like i’m holding it together.

did you really think i wouldn’t find you?

you gonna read me a story?

he begged for his life with tears in his eyes.

for your sake, i hope you’re lying.

you son of a bitch, you promised!

the things i did … it was a nightmare.

i’ll figure something out.

you’re selfish, you know that?

you don’t care about anything other than revenge.

how the hell are we gonna get in?

why are you splashing water on me?

come on. come on, we’ve got to get out of here.

(how are you?) / i’ll survive.

you saved my life back there.

i’m trying to thank you, here.

mad? i’m proud of you.

what the hell has gotten into you?

if you’re so sure, go ahead. kill me.

this was worth the wait.

two wrongs don’t make a right.

i want to know why. why’d you do it?

listen, you mind just getting this over with? ‘cause i really can’t stand the monologuing.

mask all that nasty pain, mask the truth.

you’re not my dad.

it’s inside me. i can feel it.

get back or i’ll kill you. i swear to god.

did i do this?

tell me if they’re okay!

you have to stay still.

i just need to find them.

you look good … considering.

man, tell me you can hear me.

come on, you’re the psychic.

i don’t know if we’re gonna find someone.

so, what? we just sit here with our thumbs up our ass?

well you sure know something.

if there’s only one working part, that’s enough.

you got to help me.

you haven’t called a soul for help.

aren’t you gonna do anything? aren’t you even gonna say anything?

i’ve done everything you ever asked me. everything. i’ve given everything i’ve ever had.

how is revenge gonna help him?

i should have never taken you along in the first place.

you get the hell away from me. stay back!

don’t worry, (name). i’m not going anywhere.

why won’t you look at me?

what’s happening to me?

it’s just a dream, that’s all.

i got to say, i’m impressed.

it’s out of my control. it’s just fate.

you always have a choice.

god, i feel like i’m at a slumber party.

alright, (name). this isn’t gonna work.

i’ll be damned.

oh, it’s good to hear from you.

it hasn’t been the same without you, (name).

you can’t kill death.

there’s got to be a way.

thanks for not giving up on me, (name).

this was the only way i could get you to talk to me.

what the hell do you want to talk about?

death is nothing to fear.

you’re living on borrowed time already.

how stupid do you think i am?

you really want an honest answer to that?

i took you for a lot of things, but suicidally reckless wasn’t one of them.

did you really think you could trap me?

i want to make a deal.

i don’t know how to help you. but i’ll keep trying, alright?

i mean, come on, you can’t … you can’t leave me here alone.

(name), you got to hold on.

you can’t go, not now.

we were just starting to be brothers again.

can you hear me?

it’s an honorable death. a warriors death.

you’re very cute.

there’s no such thing as an honorable death.

i’m not going with you. i don’t care what you do.

how do i know this isn’t just another trick?

oh, (name), i’m offended. don’t you trust me?

so we have a deal?

what are you doing that for?

you got some kind of angel watching over you.

you really don’t remember anything?

i had some things to take care of.

why don’t i believe you right now?

can we not fight?

half the time we’re fighting, i don’t know what we’re fighting about.

i just don’t want to fight anymore, okay?

(name), are you alright?

you shouldn’t have had to say that to me.

i put too much on your shoulders.

i made you grow up too fast.

i just want you to know … i am so proud of you.

why are you saying this stuff?

you’re scaring me.

stop asking if i need anything. stop asking if i’m okay.

i’m okay. really. i promise.

come here. i’m gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. maybe we could cry, and hug, and maybe even slow dance.

don’t patronize me, (name).

what do you want me say?

aren’t you angry? don’t you want revenge?

look, don’t be stubborn. you know i can help you.

you’re not gonna hit me again are you?

look, if you don’t want my help, fine.

you didn’t think i remembered, did you?

they’re nice. they’re your friends.

i guess we’ll just have to blend in.

will you give me a little help here?

just because i’m not caring and sharing like you want me to —

these are your issues, quit dumping them on me.

am i gonna see you again?

(name), where did you learn to do all this?

i’m not alright. not at all. but neither are you.

that was beautiful. absolutely beautiful.

he’s the only one who gets to call me that.

something i said?

i can still see her, you know, the way she was.

but, hey, that was a long time ago.

truth is, i’m not handling it very well.

it just feel like there’s this hole inside of you? and it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker?

you and me? we were born to do this. it’s in our blood.

why are you even talking to me?

it’s an insult to his memory.

you can hit me all you want. it won’t change anything.

might as well put her out of her misery.

i just sharpened it, so it’s completely humane.

like i said, (name). no shades of gray.

you knew, and you just didn’t care.

i think you and i got some things to talk about.

i might be like you, i might not. but you’re the one tied up right now.

okay, i’m good now. we can go.

come on. i won’t even hit you back.

yeah, (name), but you didn’t. and that’s what matters.

you’re a pain in my ass.

i guess i might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.

i don’t want to listen to you! i’m done listening to you!

it just feels like the right thing to do.

i think dad would’ve wanted you to have these.

if something evil happened there, it could have easily poisoned the ground.

well, don’t get too excited. you might pull something.

what else would it be about?

that’s perfectly normal, (name). especially with what you’re going through.

we shouldn’t even be here anymore.

you want to take another swing? go ahead. if it’ll make you feel better.

(name), where are you going?

what’s dead should stay back.

what the hell’s the matter with you?

stop it! that’s enough, okay? that’s enough!

i don’t scare easy, but you’re scaring the crap out of me!

you’re tailspinning, (name), and you refuse to talk about it, and you won’t let me help you.

i can take care of myself, thanks.

are lives are weird, man.

honey, is something bothering you?

haven’t we already talked about that?

haven’t we wasted enough time on him already?

you really think i could do something like that?

you brought me back.

you know what you did.

how could you? i loved you!

you really think this is gonna work?

it’s still me. i’m still a person.

i think she broke my hand.

you wanna stay for awhile?

i’m sorry. for the way i’ve been acting.

it’s my fault that he’s gone.

you can’t tell me there’s not a connection there.

we don’t know that, not for sure.

you’re the most important person in my life.

i never should have come back, (name).

i was dead. and i should have stayed dead.

you wanted to know how i was feeling. well, that’s it.

what could you possibly say to make that alright?

if i ran off with you, your mother might kill me.

you’re not a murderer, (name). you don’t have it in your bones.

i was upset, and i wanted to see you.

i’m sorry, baby, i’ll never leave you again.

what am i supposed to do now?

you mind your tongue with me, boy.

no one in their right mind chooses this life.

it’s my way of being close to him.

it was just a nightmare.

(name), i am trying to help you here, but you have got to be honest with me.

you asked for the truth.

can we make this quick? i’m really tired.

let’s pretend for the moment that you’re not entirely insane.

you’ve seen it, haven’t you?

what happened? talk to me.

these people are actually making deals with the damned things.

so we gotta clean up these peoples mess for them?

so, what, we should just leave them to die?

i don’t know what you’re talking about.

i was weak. i wanted to be great.

who don’t want their life to mean something?

i’m going to hell, one way or another.

you don’t really want to die.

i don’t want to die.

sit tight, alright? we’re gonna figure this out.

are you nuts?

i can buy us time to figure out something more permanent.

now allowed to say no, (name), not unless you’ve got a better idea.

we don’t have time for this.

just keep him alive.

i’m not going to put you out of your misery.

your misery is the whole point. it’s just so fun to watch.

i can’t do this anymore.

it’s all your fault.

i could have brought him back.

what the hell was that for?

shut your mouth, bitch.

it’s not the best time for a bleeding heart, (name).

what if we all have it?

it’s safer if you stay here for now.

i thought we were both going to die. you can’t hold that over me.

you can’t pull that crap with me, man.

why do we have to get stuck with all the responsibility? why can’t we live a little bit?

whatever weight you’re carrying, let me help a little bit.

you can tell me anything, you know what.

you don’t believe me.

he said that i might have to kill you.

take some responsibility for yourself, (name).

the truth is, it’s not your fault. (name), none of it is.

please, you’re in danger.

thank god you’re okay.

this has got to hurt like hell for you.

you can say a lot of stuff about me, but i’m not disloyal, and i’m not stupid.

i’m officially uncomfortable now. thank you.

well, sounds vaguely ominous.

what did you mean i looked the type?

i don’t scare that easy.

i should have found a way to save him.

you can’t save everyone.

the more people i save, the more i can change.

alright, time for bed.

if i ever turn into something i’m not … you have to kill me.

everyone around me dies.

please, you’re the only one who can do it. you have to promise me.

you have nothing to apologize for.

feels good getting back in the saddle, doesn’t it?

it had his face, but it wasn’t his face.

how’d you even know i was here?

i was chosen … for redemption.

hey, man, you’ve got to try this.

you’re enjoying that way too much, it’s kind of making me uncomfortable.

wait, there’s no such thing as unicorns?

i believe in what i can see.

i’m not enabling your sick habit.

there’s just chaos and violence, and random, unpredictable evil that comes out of nowhere and rips you to shreds.

you want me to believe in this stuff? i’m gonna need to see some hard proof.

this is vengeance. this is wrong.

men cannot be angels.

what you’re doing is not god’s will.

“thou shalt not kill”. that’s the word of god.

weren’t we gonna go to the movies?

we should go, or we’re gonna be late.

look, i said i was sorry.

are you sure you’re okay?

you’re just one person, (name).

(name), it’s me.

are you bleeding?

i tried to wash it off.

i don’t think it’s my blood.

(name), what the hell happened?

(name), i don’t … remember anything.

what did you find out?

nobody’s noticed anything unusual.

nobody saw me walking around, covered in blood?

how the hell did i get here?

what happened to me?

what if i hurt someone, or worse?

we don’t know what happened.

what’s the last thing you remember?

it just … feels familiar, you know?

please tell me you didn’t steal this.

i’m not thinking anything.

okay, now this is disturbing.

look, i just want to talk to you, that’s it, okay?

oh, do you a favor. that’s what i live for.

what’s going on with you, (name)?

i don’t know how i know, i just do.

i’d say they don’t like surprises.

should we knock?

even if you did do this, i’m sure you had a reason.

i killed him, (name).

you’ve gotta snap out of it.

you never told me this.

i didn’t want to scare you.

no one can control you but you.

you promised me.

we’re gonna figure this out, okay?

i don’t want to hurt anyone else.

i don’t want to hurt you.

whatever this is, you can fight it.

you know, i’ve tried so hard to keep you safe.

you’ll live to regret this.

how’d you find me?

that looks like it hurt.

just had a run - in with a hot stove.

you’re really carrying a torch for him, aren’t you?

romance — that’s just out of the question.

i’m not trying to hurt you, (name).

i’m telling you because i care.

i care about you a lot.

maybe you should leave.

it didn’t have to be this way.

you’re not (name).

you really don’t know the truth, do you?

he put him out of his misery like a sick dog.

why are you doing this to me?

shoot me.

are you that scared of being alone?

that’s holy water, you demonic son of a bitch!

i got lots of names.

why didn’t you kill me? you had a dozen chances.

would you give me two minutes to patch you up?

how did you know he was possessed?

i know demons lie, but do they ever tell the truth, too?

i’m part of this now.

this is my fight. i’m not getting your blood on my hands.

so, what bring you?

well, it’s good to see you.

don’t try to con a con man.

(name), back from the dead. getting to be a regular thing for you, isn’t it?

how about i smack that smartass out of your mouth?

careful, now. wouldn’t want to bruise this fine packaging.

oh, don’t worry, this isn’t gonna hurt you much.

feel like talking now?

i’ll make him bite off his tongue.

you’re not getting (name), you understand?

i’m gonna kill every one of you first.

i don’t give a rats ass about the master plan.

this isn’t going like i pictured.

you know when people want to describe the worst possible thing, they say it’s like hell? there’s a reason for that.

hell is a prison made of bone and flesh and blood and fear. and you sent me back there.

whatever i do to you, it’s nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it?

they’d have been better off without you.

by the way, you really look like crap, (name).

you wouldn’t know anything about that?

that sounds vaguely dirty, but, uh, thanks.

you okay? (name)? is that you in there?

i watched myself kill (name) with my own two hands. i saw the light go out in his eyes.

it must have been awful.

it wasn’t you.

if it’s the last thing i do, i’m gonna save you.

dude, that’s not how it happened!

sorry, i just … i can’t even concentrate.

if you wouldn’t mind, just give five minutes.

you brave little solider.

thanks, thanks for the hug, but, uh — i’m okay.

what are you talking about? i’m a joy to be around.

okay, that is just nasty.

looks to me like something was hungry.

i have had it up to here with you.

then you know that i can’t keep letting you hurt people.

come on! those people got what’s coming to them.

i don’t think i can let you do that.

i don’t want to hurt you. and i know that i can.

like i said, i liked you. but you shouldn’t have come alone.

you wanna see a real trick?

could we please just leave?

okay, so we’re taking the scenic route.

stop. i’m mad at you.

hey, you love me.

you’re a jerk.

i’m so sorry. i didn’t see you there.

you’ve got to help me.

we should get somewhere safe first.

what the hell just happened?

don’t worry, (name), everything’s going to be alright.

you’re serious about this, aren’t you?

just take it easy, alright?

something happened to them. something they couldn’t control.

i sure as hell ain’t making apologies for them.

we’re all just scared of the unknown.

the only thing i’m scared of is losing (name).

i have to see him again. i have to.

i don’t like keeping her in the dark.

i know you feel guilty, but let’s just stick to the plan.

what aren’t you telling me?

don’t what? don’t tell me because i’ll mess up your hunt?

whatever it is, tell me, please.

you’re like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.

what did you do to him?

you should worry about yourself.

i didn’t do anything to you.

hurting me won’t bring her back.

all i got left’s hurting you.

what am i supposed to do?

this isn’t working at all, is it?

i’ll see you in the morning.

maybe we should talk privately.

god, i am so stupid.

well, i guess neither of us are who we said we were, huh?

i don’t remember anything,

is there something else we can try to make it go away?

i’m sorry. i am.

stop it. don’t talk like that.

i don’t want to hurt anyone else. i don’t want to hurt you.

i can’t do it myself.

i need you to help me.

i don’t want to die.

we don’t have a chance.

i am getting out of here right now.

no, come on, we’ve got to work.

i - i don’t really know what i’m doing.

isn’t that kind of cruel? messing with their heads like that?

hey, i just play the part. i don’t write the script.

i’m very glad that you’re, you know, alive and well.

you won’t get rid of me that easy.

i’m sorry, what were you saying?

raising these spirits from the dead? making them murder for you? that’s playing with fire, (name).

you know what, you’re right, i don’t understand.

i’ve got nothing against you. you’ve got no part in this. please, just leave.

i cannot believe there’s an afterlife.

there’s an afterlife alright — but mostly it’s a pain in the ass.

i wouldn’t have done that if i were you.

they’re not gonna be very happy with you.

would have hated to have gotten thrown in here.

hey, you feel that?

you telling me you didn’t see that?

i think i’m adorable.

we’re not quite done here.

this is, without a doubt, the dumbest and craziest thing we’ve ever done. and that’s in a long, storied career of dumb and crazy.

i’m not thrilled about this, either.

do yourself a favor: don’t talk.

i want to handle this alone.

i can’t thank you enough for this.

oh, man, are you a sight for sore eyes.

i am the last person on planet earth you want to screw with.

what are you doing up?

oh, you can’t sleep, huh?

(are you alright?) / i don’t know.

honey, you’re scaring me.

just tell me what’s going on.

forget it. i’m just happy to see you.

i guess i was wrong.

are you sure you’re alright?

get some rest. i love you.

you been drinking?

i’m really glad you’re happy.

i get it. why i chose you.

why do we have to sacrifice everything?

that was so easy, i’m embarrassed for you.

i’m sorry that we don’t get along. and i wish to hell i could stay and fix it, but i’ve got to do this.

you’re just gonna slow me down.

this is dangerous, and you could get hurt.

look, whatever stupid thing you’re about to do, you’re not doing it alone, and that’s that.

i don’t understand. why are you doing this?

you don’t want to do that.

yeah, i can see that it’s blood, (name). what the hell’s it doing in here?

there are things out there in the dark.

i’m just trying to help you out, (name).

why don’t you just sit tight and try not to get us both killed.

there’s nothing here, (name).

stick behind me and keep your mouth shut.

this is real? you’re not crazy?

why’d you have to keep digging?

put the knife down, (name).

you’re not real. none of it is.

why is it our job to save everyone? haven’t we done enough?

are you lost?

still doesn’t tell us where we are.

i feel like i’m in a nightmare, and it just keeps getting worse and worse.

you said we were chosen for a reason! that is not chosen, that’s … killed!

i don’t think god has much to do with this.

hey, look at me, it’s not even that bad.

hey, listen to me, we’re gonna patch you up, okay? gonna be good as new.

i’m gonna take care of you. i got you. that’s my job, right?

you should eat something.

i hate to bring this up, i really do. but don’t you think it’s time we … bury (name)?

i’m not going anywhere.

i just don’t think you should be alone, that’s all.

you don’t think i’ve given enough? you don’t think i’ve paid enough? i’m done with it.

i should send you straight back to hell.

you’re like a … puppy. you’re just too fun to play with.

i swear i’m gonna tear that son of a bitch apart.

i did what you asked. now what?

that was pretty cold, wasn’t it?

you of all people should know that what’s dead should stay dead.

i knew i kept you alive for some reason.

can we celebrate for a minute?

(name), tell me the truth.

you shouldn’t have done that.

don’t get mad at me. don’t do that. i had to. i had to look out for you, that’s my job.

you saved my life over and over. you sacrifice everything for me. don’t you think i should do the same for you?

there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you.

i don’t care what it takes. i’m gonna get you out of this.

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 16

i don’t think i’ve ever been this fucking tired.

sometimes people act like one thing, even though they’re something else.

that little bit of hope, that’s the part i couldn’t bear.

i would give anything to feel like a good person again.

best way to make us suffer is to give us hope.

piecing this together is like trying to grab hold of water.

so far, i’m underwhelmed. 

i don’t want a relationship. i just want to be with you all the time.

i just wanna know why everyone always abandons me.

i can’t be around you anymore. it’s confusing, and it makes me feel insane.

you didn’t take me out of love, you took me out of spite. 

don’t let love make you out to be a fool. leave before you’re left.

you are a lonely, selfish, narcissistic asshole. 

every time i look at you, i feel so completely dismantled. 

i have people who mean more to me than you would ever understand. 

always surprised to see you so tenderhearted. 

that’s more like salvation than a simple favor.

when i think about the specifics too much, i just get sad.

i let my ego get in the way of a lot of good shit in my life.

it’s easier to lose interest than to work through things. 

it’s my life. it’s already over in the first place. 

i only wanted to leave because i’ve never felt seen here.

do you wanna be right, or do you wanna have your family?

you’re exactly like me. that’s the problem.

i just wanna feel normal. please help me feel normal.

it felt like we were changing the world.

i am so sorry i freaked out. it will not happen again.

i thought that work would distract me.

you challenged me, and in return, i made you feel small. i’m sorry.

you said that we were bad for each other.

why is my fucking point of view the one everyone’s assuming is wrong?

sometimes it feels like i’m watching other people experience things.

you know, sometimes i think you just lie for the fun of it.

i fucking love that. i love when you stoop to my level.

sometimes i just wanna feel so normal that i’m almost boring.

that’s the thing about liars. they look just like everybody else.

i don’t hate you. what good is that gonna do?

i feel angry, sad, betrayed. i don’t hate you, i feel bad for you.

i feel bad for you because you aren’t the good person you thought you were. that’s gotta hurt, knowing that.

i'm either all in or all out. i need to find a way forward.

when you are ready, this will make you stronger. better.

you either adapt, or you lose your mind.

don’t tell me you’re pretty, privileged, and humorless.

you know, at some point, we’re gonna have to start trusting each other. 

i used to be a happier person.

thank you for not being full of shit.

she was a nuisance as a child and a horror show as a teen. 

i’m so sick of hearing everybody’s opinions about me.

i don’t think you’re pathetic. i just want you to be careful.

i’m done looking like a fucking idiot, so i’m asking you to treat me with some respect from now on.

i just got you back. i’m not losing you again.

everyone was so scared, there was no time to be angry.

i believed in you. don’t you get that?

would you rather i just pick you apart and make you feel like shit?

what you want is for me to read your mind so i can say whatever you want to hear at any given time.

i was already on my fucking own.

whatever this is, it’s you and i.

i couldn’t kill you. i’d probably just cry.

if we’re gonna do this, we’re doing it together.

this seems like a really good plan to piss off my parents, so i’m in.

do things around here feel different to you?

scared people do scary things. even the good ones.

i know we don’t right now. but could we make sense again?

we keep playing with fire, and we need to stop before we burn our lives down.

i am the one who keeps people alive.

which fucking nightmare am i supposed to be afraid of?

i cant help if i’m in the dark.

every time something good happens, something bad comes to ruin it.

whatever this is, we are stronger than this.

will i ever feel normal again?

i think this is your normal now. and everyday, you’ll get a little more comfortable with it.

[inamindfarfaraway]

The Exorcists’ Masks of Virtue

The vast majority of Exorcists in Hazbin Hotel have a notable design element that other angels don’t: their masks are missing an eye. Specifically, the right eye.

I believe this is a reference to the Bible, Matthew 5:29. Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

He’s being hyperbolic. Mr Free Healthcare was not pro-mutilation. What he means is that you have to be willing to make sacrifices to prevent sin. The context of the eye metaphor is him condemning adultery and warning that even something as easy, casual and small as a look full of lustful intent can lead to further, worse sin if you don’t notice your sin, hold yourself accountable for it and do the work to not let it influence your decisions. This will probably be hard. It could be very, very painful. Changing your perspective can feel as horrible as plucking out your eye, so many people can’t bring themselves to do it. But although it won’t feel that way in the moment, it’s healthier for our general wellbeing in the long run to abandon traits and behaviours that damage ourselves and/or others.

(You may notice that Jesus’s teaching that you can have sinned, redeem yourself by giving up sin and thus escape damnation is the founding principle of the Hazbin Hotel. You may also notice that it contradicts everything the Exorcists believe.)

The Exorcists seem to follow this idea of painfully excising badness for the sake of the greater good devoutly to the point of placing it above teachings like ‘Thou shalt not kill’, with their job being to remove sin, in the form of sinners, to protect Heaven. Hence the missing right eyes. They’re a declaration of moral righteousness and inability to stumble.

But the truth is that the Exorcists all have their right eyes. Their flawlessness is a facade. Underneath, they are untouched, think themselves morally untouchable and, as shown by their horror and outrage when even one of them is killed, would much rather be physically untouchable too. This perfectly represents their complete unwillingness to acknowledge their own faults, let alone improve. They are never the ones who sacrifice. They force the sinners to sacrifice and don’t compensate it with any salvation. They metaphorically rip out the sinners’ eyes, but still condemn their entire bodies as inherently, permanently sinful. So they’ll just have to do another Extermination to get the other eyes! And another one to cut off their right hands! And so on until there’s nothing left.

The only exception to the rule is Vaggie, both in appearance and character. Her mask has the left eye crossed out instead. Even before her expulsion, she’s set apart to the audience as an Exorcist who has the capacity to, shall we say, see a different side of things. Her mask having its ‘sinful’ right eye reflects her understanding that the Exorcist worldview is wrong.

When she almost kills a demon child, her hateful vision clears. She discards the part of herself that’s an unquestioning, merciless agent of death, terror and grief… and as punishment for what Lute perceives as treacherous weakness, gets her eye plucked out.

Of course Lute leaves her with only the ‘sinful’ eye. It brands Vaggie forever as the inversion, a perversion, of what the Exorcists are meant to be.

You know, all this talk of eye removal in the Bible reminds me of another line - ‘an eye for an eye’. Adam directly quotes it in “Hell is Forever”. He uses it to frame the Exterminations as Old Testament-style punitive justice; the sinners did harm and so they receive it. But putting aside the debate about how ethical the concept of revenge is, the entire point of taking an eye for an eye is that it’s proportional. The punishment fits the crime. If someone cuts your eye out, you shouldn’t murder their whole family in front of them and then slowly disembowel them to death. That would be the sin of wrath. You should just make them pay without excessive pain or collateral damage. This is the fairest form of revenge.

The Exorcists don’t do that! The Exterminations aren’t proportional to the wrongs of all they hurt, nor was Vaggie’s brutal punishment equivalent to her extremely mild insubordination. Lute literally takes Vaggie’s eye, and more, after Vaggie does nothing to her! That’s the opposite of the phrase! Adam and his soldiers are wrathful and cruel, deriving satisfaction from others’ suffering. But they just can’t stop going on and on about how disgustingly evil the sinners are, in total hypocrisy… despite some of the sinners being far better people than the genocidal Exorcists are… it’s like they’re obsessed with specks of dust in the sinners’ eyes when they have massive logs stuck in their own. Oh hey, that’s in the Bible too!

[eucatastrophicblues]

The problem I have with the attitudes in American Catholicism is that they’re cowardly, and hypocritical, and built upon this frustrating double-edged sword of “I don’t actually want the consequences of my actions to happen BUT I don’t want to change the way I vote”, and no one seems to want to face that. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that the reason they voted Republican is because of abortion, because they believe abortion is murder. Okay. Murder is bad, we agree on that. Now, what about environmental degradation through pollution that causes pediatric cancers? What about the campaigns on the right to delegitimize and ban vaccines? What about the dismantling of social safety nets and anti-welfare attitudes? What about the hatred for the homeless, or the insistence that they jump through hoops to access resources that are not good enough? What about the privatization of government agencies that service the vulnerable? What about civil forfeiture and police brutality?

All those things are murderous too. You’re voting for the party that’s for them.

Okay, you say, but those things don’t directly cause the murder of children. Except they do. Take a peek at infant mortality rates before our robust food and drug safety standards and widely accessible vaccines. Congrats! That’s what you voted for.

For the past eight years I’ve been told by countless Republican Catholics and Christians that voting red didn’t really mean they’d go after Roe v Wade, that voting red didn’t actually mean that the kinds of utterly horrific human suffering that pop up in countries with a total abortion ban would happen. “This isn’t really going to happen,” they say. “But we have to vote for it anyway!” They want to lose, because they want to continue protesting and continue feeling like moral exemplars but they don’t actually want to face the fact that they might have voted in a tyrant. They don’t even personally care about abortions - pro-life activists reliably get abortions all the time, while loudly insisting that this doesn’t actually make them pro-choice. They also coerce people in their lives to get abortions all the time. This movement wasn’t started to save babies. It was started to convince gullible Christians to vote for tyrants.

None of you want to believe that you’ve voted for someone evil. You say “oh, I’m a sinner” and wring your hands in a self-shielding, self-soothing way. You twist yourselves into knots to acknowledge that you’re imperfect while professing lies (I’m not responsible for what that man does if he’s elected, I voted for a single issue and my choice should only have that consequence, I’m not culpable if I’m just wrong about what happens, God doesn’t care about elections) because you can’t face that you, yourselves, with your own hands, did this.

You are the cause of tens of millions of mental health spirals. You are the reason people are frantically passing around suicide prevention hotlines. You are responsible for the panicked and desperate prayers for impossible salvation coming from the mouths of countless frantic Americans of all stripes. Your choices have caused several people I know to plan to flee the country. You have increased the amount of human suffering in the world.

It’s your responsibility and your duty as a Christian to face that. To own that. To take it before the throne of the Most High and ask for forgiveness. You don’t get to say we’re all exaggerating. You don’t get to say we’re panicking for no reason. Republicans tried to overthrow the government in a violent coup. The other side is begging their friends not to commit suicide.

You caused this. You caused it because you thought that the hypothetical deaths of hypothetical children (who, because you voted for Republicans even though state constitutions have been AMENDED TO GUARANTEE ABORTION ACCESS as a direct result of Republican policies, can be proven to not actually matter to you!) were more morally vital than the real deaths of real people happening right now.

[walkswithmyfather]

Jonah 1:1-3 (NLT). [1] “The Lord gave this message to Jonah son of Amittai: [2] “Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh. Announce my judgment against it because I have seen how wicked its people are.” [3] But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord. He went down to the port of Joppa, where he found a ship leaving for Tarshish. He bought a ticket and went on board, hoping to escape from the Lord by sailing to Tarshish.

Jonah 2:1-4 (NLT). [1] “Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from inside the fish. [2] He said, “I cried out to the Lord in my great trouble, and he answered me. I called to you from the land of the dead, and Lord, you heard me! [3] You threw me into the ocean depths, and I sank down to the heart of the sea. The mighty waters engulfed me; I was buried beneath your wild and stormy waves. [4] Then I said, ‘O Lord, you have driven me from your presence. Yet I will look once more toward your holy Temple.’”

“Saying Yes (When We Want to Say No)” By In Touch Mysteries:

“We don't have to worry about what happens if we obey God—He will take care of us.”

“In a fish’s belly, Jonah recommitted himself to the Lord’s purpose. But the popular Bible story about the consequences of disobedience doesn’t end with Jonah obeying God. The book actually concludes with him acknowledging why he didn’t want the job—and with the Lord chastising him for his selfish reasons.

Jonah was afraid that the Ninevites—who were a threat to the Jews—might actually repent, and God wouldn’t destroy them. Jonah admitted he wanted to see them wiped out: “Therefore in anticipation of [their salvation] I fled to Tarshish” (Jonah 4:2).

Believers resist doing God’s will for many reasons. Sometimes we say no because we dislike the probable outcome of obedience. Like Jonah, we also can lose sight of spiritually important things and focus on our own desires. But if the Lord calls us to act, He will take care of the end results. Our job is to obey.

What form of selfishness might be keeping you from obeying the Lord? Maybe you are too angry with your spouse to work on your marriage or too hurt to welcome back a repentant child. But we’re not to be ruled by feelings, no matter how strong they are. The heavenly Father calls us to obey Him. The final results may surprise you, particularly how blessed you will be for having followed Him.”

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Sorry for coming off as antagonistic in the tags of the post on Abraham. By all means, please explain your views on hell. I've read your blog for the past month or so, and I've seen a lot of your reblogs about Christian Universalism, the ideas that hell isn't eternal, everyone is eventually reunited with God, etc.

I know reblogs don't necessarily equal agreement, but I am curious to hear what you have to say

Hii

Thank you for the apology. I needed that. And I am also very sorry if i came off as antagonistic at all; like I said, i hadn't eaten and it was 2 pm T-T, and also pride is something I am struggling with so I get offended too easily sometimes.

As for my recent reblogs, I got a new mutual who is a universalist, or at the very least in favor of purgatorial universalism. I reblogged them to meditate/contemplate on them. I myself, am not universalist tho. I am philosophically in the Methodist/Wesleyan so free will is pretty important to me, which both universalism and Calvinism tend to restrict too much imo.

Now, first thing i really want to get clear is that I do not know what happens when you die and what happens at the parousia. I know that that Christians will not die because they are in Christ, that all - righteous and unrighteous - will be resurrected, that there will be a separation of the two, and that heaven and earth will be one. These things Scripture is clear on and no one can contest. Everything else is speculation tho. I know some will disagree with me, but I really do not think scripture is as clear on this as many believe. I want to be really clear that I (and I believe, most if not all) just do not know because Scripture is just not as clear as we would like it to be. And this is because, despite the claim of some philosophers of religion, Christianity (and the Ancient Israelite religion) does not exist to answer questions of "What happens when I die?" It exists to tell of how heaven is coming on earth. And I have to just accept that because I cannot make scripture into something it's not. So I try to do research, look into historical traditions, and attempt (with varying degrees of success) to stay humble before God and loving before neighbor

First, a Lewis quote: "There is no doctrine which I would more willingly remove from Christianity than [hell], if it lay in my power. But it has the full support of Scripture and, specially, of Our Lord's own words; it has always been held by Christendom; and it has the support of reason. If a game is played, it must be possible to lose it." I start with this because I believe it is very important that no Christian should desire hell for anyone and that we believe in it because it is a sad necessity of reality, not because it is a desirous one. As Paul says in 1 Timothy, we know that God desires that all humanity be saved thru the mediator of Jesus the Anointed One. I say often that to be a Christian is to desire the salvation of even Hitler. Not merely salvation from some subterranean fiery torture chamber, but salvation from Sin.

So, the story of the bible is how God created heaven and earth and they were overlapping (the Garden of Eden), and it was his will to rule his good world together with his images but then heaven and earth got ripped apart because humans are foolish and proud and rebellious. So now, we are outside of God’s presence and as far as I am concerned, if one is not in God, they are already in hell. Or rather, hell is inside of them. I look around and I see infanticide and oppression and genocide and rape and murder and violence and racism and misogyny etc etc etc. I mean just look at Genesis 3-11, it's insanity. And I just have to ask, "What is that if not hell?" And since all of it is rooted in the human heart (which is deceitful and wicked and utterly diseased), hell is in the human heart. St Jacob says a tongue that lies and gossips and curses is lit on fire by Gehenna (which was a physical place southwest of Jerusalem). Not by nature or essence but enslaved to the power of Sin and Death.

On the note of death, I believe in conditional immortality. The human in Genesis 2 is made from dust and they have the opportunity to achieve immortality but it's lost. So they are from dust to dust, without any immortality of the soul. As are all human beings "bitten by the snake", enslaved to Sin and Death. That is, until Jesus could liberate us from slavery to sin and death by his sinless but cursed slave death. He went into death and opened up the way out into eternal life starting now and lasting forever. As such, we believers, as being mystically united to Christ, are alive in him and thus do not die. Rather, when we die we go to heaven and are alive in him (this is why Anglicans, Catholics, and Orthodoxes see no problem asking saints to pray for them. They are not dead).

So the triumphant body of Christ awaits in the intermediate space while awaiting the full reconciliation. So this waiting and praising and praying takes place in heaven. Waiting and praising and praying takes place on earth, until the return of Jesus the Christ in all of his glory, the resurrection of the cosmos, and the full union of heaven and earth. And so the people of God who have chosen life will reign and rule in the power and love of God once more.

But then there is the problem of those who choose death. All powers and authorities have been made subjected to Christ the Victor and King and now everyone is faced with a choice: be healed by the Great Physician and join him in his New Creation, or choose a sin and death in the Valley of Wailing. Why would anyone choose the Valley of Wailing? I made an entire post about it (more poetic than theological) but basically we do it everyday. I have heard it said that "man would escape hell if he could" but this is simply untrue. Of course, we do not wish to live in hell, and if we could escape by our own way we would. But our efforts simply create more hell. Nothing is more terrifying to humanity than that Jesus is God, because if Jesus is God then there is objective good and bad and I have to stand on his wisdom. And if Hesus is God then we killed him when he revealed himself to us. We would rather be "abandoned by God" as Sartre said, though in truth we have abandoned God and thus chosen hell. I chose the hell when I was proud and easily offended and spiteful towards you yesterday, for example. And so, if at the Second Coming, when I see Justice incarnated as the person of Jesus bearing the authority to declare good from evil, I can choose to bow in submission, or I can choose to be forced to bow in subjugation. And many will not choose to boy. "Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven" they will say. They will prefer their idols and their deceptions to true joy and reality.

And God will let them.

Hell, then, is God's monument to human dignity and choice. If someone refuses to be healed by the Great Physician, God will honor that choice. But what God will not do is allow hell to ruining his good world. "I willingly believe that the damned are, in one sense, successful, rebels to the end; that the doors of hell are locked on the inside.” - C.S. Lewis. And also "those who fly from the eternal light of God, which contains in itself all good things, are themselves the cause to themselves of their inhabiting eternal darkness, destitute of all good things, having become to themselves the cause of [their consignment to] an abode of that nature.” - St Irenaeus. It is God's mercy to contain (sub)human evil and not let it eternally ravage his good world, nor his good image bearing humans who live in that world.

And so they can choose, and God will honor their choice, between the Great New Garden City (New Jerusalem, in the Revelation) that is heaven and earth married together again or you can "live" in the Valley of Wailing, which is outside the city and thus sort of outside creation, which is weird. What does that mean, to be outside the city? How are you outside creation? How are they alive if there is no natural immortality and life is dependent on God? What is it like in the valley? Well I mean, I don't know. It's fire. And darkness. And ice. Death. Destruction. Non-order. Non-being. This is where I lean more annihilationist. But, conditional immortality is distinct from annihilationism. While annihilationism places emphasis on the active destruction of a person, conditional immortality places emphasis on a person's dependence upon God for life; the extinction of the person is thus a passive consequence of separation from God. But I do not hold firmly to the concept of cessation of existence. I think it makes sense, but the only thing I hold fast to is 1) that I do not know and 2) that God's desire will be done.

And without Christ's sacrifice, his defeat of death and sin, the gift of the Spirit of God to urge us to pursue holiness, we would still be slaves to sin and death, corrupted by it, unable to follow God's wise instruction. And as such evangelism is still vitally important (which is a concern I have seen from some) because without the renewing of the mind, as Paul says, there will be no allegiance to Christ.

That said, I do believe there will be nonbelievers who choose life/God. And there will also be some believers who will choose death/sin. Why? Quite simply honestly. There are Christians that won't talk to people who vote differently from them. At the wedding feast of the Lamb there will be Nazis and Jews, Democrats and Republicans, Zionists and Palestinians (the feeling many people feel reading this is the same feeling many Ancient Israelites would've felt reading the last chapter of Zechariah where Jew and non-Jew go up Mount Zion to celebrate Sukkot). Some Christians, like the first century Jewish brethren of Jesus our Lord, will find the love and power of Christ abhorrent, and they will reject him. That all said, i am a hopeful universalist. It is not my hope that anyone would choose death. I want all people - even Hitler - to choose Life. Again: to be a Christian is to desire the salvation of even Hitler. In fact I would say that the end goal is reaching such a state of union with God that you would be willing to die for the salvation of the wicked, but I understand that’s in the deep end and not everyone would agree with that lol.

So... yeah. I don't know how clear this is. I sort of got away from soteriology and into full on eschatology, but as you can tell the two can't really be separated for me, you know? If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

May you have perfect peace, and may the favor of our Lord Jesus the Anointed One, God of Compassion and Favor be with you. Amen.

[faithfullyfound]

A New Title

God knew and loved us before the Earth was even created. He planned for your existence, creating an Earth beautiful and perfectly made for human life. He knew your parents, siblings, and friends and He intentionally created them too.

God loves you, Jesus loves you. Is something we often say/hear as Christians. We wear our cross necklaces as a proclamation of our faith, letting the world know that God is our Father, Jesus our Savior, and the Trinity alive in us.

But if you're like me you often forget these facts. You sin and beat yourself up and instead of running towards the Father, we run away like Adam and Eve trying to cover up our sin. We replace God and the Bible with social media, bed rotting, and other idols in our lives. If you're like me you often feel so imperfect that you don't even feel like you can share the good news. You've been baptized but you question your proclamation, you doubt your salvation. But let me tell you, no matter how many times we sin, no matter what we say or think or do, we have been born anew in Jesus and NOTHING can take that away.

God knew you before the universe was formed, He loved you before your ancestors were born and Jesus loved you while He was dying in order to save you.

2 Peter 1:2-4 Peter writes: "May grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. By these he has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desire."

God has given us everything to share in the divine nature with Him. The Holy Spirit lives in us, we can pray/talk to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. We are called into God's family. We have new titles as sons and daughters of God.

I feel like someone reading this may want to get baptized or have questions about baptism. Baptism is a great way to publically announce you're faith in Jesus and I encourage those that are not baptized to look into it. I have personally thought about getting re-baptized but after prayer and consulting a pastor, I realized that I wanted to get rebaptized because I thought I had lost God's love and for my own pride. But you can never lose salvation once you have it. The greatest thing about being a Christian is that God will always pursue you. He will always be there for you even if you weren't there for Him. He will always be ready to accept you with open arms even when you run away from Him. (The Prodigal Son story is a great example of this).

Lord, I pray for those reading this that feel far from You because of their sin, or because they haven't been putting You center in their life (I'm very guilty of this) I pray that they surrender to You and Your will for them.

Lord I pray that for those who do not know You that they pray: Jesus please reveal yourself to me, I believe that I am a sinner in need of a Savior and I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins.

[davecortel]

It’s always the silence of the island nights that makes it harder. When the moonlight filters through the coconut trees, and the river sings its endless lullaby, I feel the weight of this life more than ever. The air smells of wildflowers—kalachuchi and ilang-ilang—but even their sweetness can’t soften the ache in my chest.

Loving you here feels like trying to hold water in my hands. The harder I try, the more it slips away. By day, we’re strangers in the marketplace, nodding politely if our families cross paths. Your father asks my father about the fishing, my mother greets your mother with a forced smile, and we pretend we don’t know each other beyond that. But we do. God, we do.

I know the sound of your laugh when you’re too tired to keep it quiet. I know the way your fingers tremble when you’re nervous, how your eyes soften when they meet mine. I know the way you look at me like I’m something more than the shame I’ve been taught to carry. And I know the way it feels to kiss you by the riverbank, hidden behind the bamboo grove where no one will ever see.

But we can’t hide forever.

Every glance over my shoulder, every hushed whisper in town when someone sees us too close, feels like a knife pressed to my back. It feels unfair that we have to live like this—dodging our own shadows, pretending there’s nothing between us when the whole island seems to conspire to keep us apart. They say the river sees everything, that it carries secrets to the ocean, but I wonder if even it would judge us.

My family prays for me every night, candles lit beneath the balete tree, asking for salvation they don’t know I don’t need. They think the softness in my voice, the way I linger when the other boys laugh about girls, is something that can be fixed. And maybe, on some level, I’ve started to believe them. Maybe this is something to be ashamed of. Maybe we are the sin they say we are.

But when I see you, all that shame fades, just for a moment. In your arms, I feel less like a sinner and more like a boy who just wants to love and be loved. I feel like the world could be different, like we could be different—if only the weight of their eyes wasn’t always on us.

Still, the fear remains. What would happen if they knew? If the town, with its mango trees and sampaguita bushes, found out about the two boys who meet by the river every evening? Would they stop speaking to our families? Would they cast us out? I can’t bear the thought of my mother’s tears, of your father’s anger, of the whispers spreading through every corner of this place we call home.

So we stay quiet. We bury our love in the same soil as their expectations. And it’s killing me.

It’s not fair that the kalachuchi blooms without shame, that the river flows freely to the sea, while we are left to hide something so simple, so human, so beautiful. It’s not fair that loving you feels more like a battle than a blessing. It’s not fair that every moment we share is shadowed by the fear of losing everything else.

Some nights, I dream about leaving this island. I imagine us somewhere far away, where no one knows us, where no one cares. Somewhere we can laugh out loud without covering our mouths, hold hands without looking over our shoulders. But then I wake up, and the palm trees are still here, the river still sings, and the world still feels too small for a love like ours.

If only they could see us the way we see each other. If only they could understand that what we have isn’t something to be ashamed of. If only love could be as simple as the wind that carries the scent of flowers through the air.

[baronessblixen]

Prompt: 19. “What if we’re wrong?”

Angst, canon divergence for "Nothing Important Happened Today": No matter what Kersh said, Scully doesn't want Mulder to leave her and the baby. But what choice do they have? (wc: 1,069)

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2023

Fictober Day 19: It's Us Against The World

Right now, she should be the happiest woman on earth. She is. She was. Until her happiness was threatened. Again. But no matter what Kersh said, she can't shake off that niggling feeling in her gut; the feeling that something isn’t quite right.

At first, she blamed her hormones. Then the fact that she didn’t want it to be true. Any of it. Kersh’s words still sit inside her, making her sick. How he came to her apartment, didn’t look at the baby at all, and just told them with an impassive voice that Mulder had to leave. That he had it on good authority that if he didn’t, something would happen. Something very bad.

They believed him. How could they not, after everything? They started making plans, asking the Gunmen to help them make Mulder disappear. Everything is in motion. Everything is planned as well as possible. 24 hours. That’s all they have left, now. But Scully can’t shake it off. That feeling. That what Kersh said isn’t the whole story. Is in fact not the truth at all.

“Can’t sleep?” Mulder asks, sounding tired.

“I can’t stop thinking.”

“Isn’t that usually my forte?” He kisses her neck lazily as if they have all the time in the world when in fact they have next to none. They were supposed to win this time. They were supposed to get their happy ending. Now, once again, it’s ripped away from them. And she doesn’t want to lose anymore. She doesn’t want to lose Mulder again. She doesn’t want to do this alone. She’s not sure she even can. Once upon a time, Mulder said the same thing to her. They didn’t give up then. They didn’t quit. And she doesn’t want to start now.

“Mulder, what if we’re wrong?”

“Wrong about what?” The sheets rustle as he turns to her. He moves closer until their knees are touching. Her hand claws at his sweater, needing to feel something solid. If she holds on tight enough, they can’t be separated.

“What Kersh said.” She merely whispers the words, afraid to rouse too many demons.

“What if he’s not?” Mulder smiles at her, but his lips quiver. “We can’t risk him being wrong. If anything happened to you, or to William…”

“What if something happens to us while you’re gone?” She only notices her tears when they fall onto her skin, hot and angry.

“I wouldn’t let it,” Mulder says through his own tears, wiping hers away.

“You wouldn’t be here,” she reminds him. “You wouldn’t even know.”

“What do you want to do?” Mulder asks. “I’ll do whatever you say.”

“Since when?” Their tears mingle with laughter. Pain and salvation so close together.

“Since now,” he says, turning earnest. “I’ll go if you think I should. I’ll stay if you want me to. I’ll take you and William into hiding with me if you think that’s best. I love you, Scully. I love our son. I will do everything in my power to protect you both. If that means leaving, living a life far away from you, even if it breaks my heart just thinking about it, I will do it.”

“I don’t know what to do,” she admits quietly. “All I know is that I don’t want you to leave. I can’t bear the thought.”

“You managed before.” He nudges her with his nose.

“Yes, I managed,” she says. “But Mulder… I don’t want to manage. I want to live. With you, and with William.”

“Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” He touches his forehead to hers, needing to be closer still. Her eyes drift close and she imagines it. She can see every path they might take. Him leaving her and William alone and life going on, with a part of herself permanently missing. She can see him stay here, both of them hunted by paranoia and fear. And she can see them leave, face uncertainty in the years to come, but always together.

“I don’t know, Mulder. I just don’t know.”

“Me leaving is the safest choice,” he says calmly, stroking her side. His fingers dip under her robe, finding skin and igniting a fire in her.

“I know,” she replies, the words like shrapnel on her tongue.

“I don’t want to leave.” His voice sounds strangled. “I’ve never done the safe thing. You know me. But this isn’t about me. It’s about you and William. Without me here, you two are safe.”

“Since when do you trust Kersh?”

“What other choice do I have?”

“What if he’s just trying to separate us?”

“Look who’s paranoid now,” he says softly, kissing her lips.

“I learned from the best,” she replies, kissing him back. If this is their last night together, she has to make it count. A knot forms in her throat. Their last night. If she lets him leave, she might never see him again. She won’t know where he’s going for her own safety and their son’s. Kersh or his cronies could ambush him and she’d find out years later. Or never.

“We’ll make plans,” Mulder says. “The Gunmen will help. We’ll see each other whenever we can. When it’s safe.”

“No,” she says quietly. “No.” Louder now, more convinced. “Mulder, they’ve taken so much from us already.”

“Exactly,” he says. “Aren’t you scared at all?”

“Of course I’m scared. I’m so worried they’re gonna do something to you, to William. But Mulder… there’s no guarantee that this isn’t what Kersh wants. He wants to separate us so he can… I can’t even say it.”

“You really do sound like me,” he says, amazed.

“I just feel like- I know this is going to sound crazy,” she says, biting her lip.

“You know I love crazy.”

“I feel like he’s not telling the truth. He’s lying to us.”

“I trust you, Scully, and I’ll follow your lead.”

“I won’t let Kersh or anyone separate us,” she says, having made up her mind.

“So we’re doing this?” he asks and she nods.

“We’re doing this,” she says. “Together.” And that feeling inside her eases as Mulder kisses her. It eases even more when he brings over William and she nurses him. Mulder holds her hand and talks to their son. It’s the three of them against the world. No one is going to take that away. Neither she nor Mulder will let them.

[tobiasdrake]

This took a turn for the ominous. We may be about to lose Shinigami.

Part of the contract. You're not her partner. Number One is.

She can't. That's part of the contract too. She can't talk to you about Number One.

Makoto's identity means that she isn't your reliable ally anymore. He's here to repossess your shinigami.

Just like she said: This is about to get really bad.

No. That's not. He isn't. He couldn't be. There's no way. There is absolutely no way.

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT THE FUCK.

How. What. How. Why. When. How. What.

We're Number One? Then who the hell is the old man with the chin dick? Why is Yuma so young? Did the contract do that? He isn't a homunculus; We know he has red blood.

What the fuck.

What the fuck.

What the fuck.

That's how we were able to check out the Book of Death from the library. We just. Used our clearance. To do it. Holy shit, that's easy.

But how? Who the hell was the old man? A body double?

Okay but when and where, tho. Yuma gets the Solution Blade direct from Shinigami. When did you meet up with Shinigami in secret to get a Solution Blade from her, and why wouldn't she have noticed that happening?

Don't look so chipper with Yuma's face, it's creepy.

Well our double sucked and I hated him. He's lucky he's dead or I would have him fired for being an heartless asshole. I still can't believe that shit he said about Yakou.

Yes, I do adapt quickly. Fuck you, I'm the boss man.

Option 1: As Number One, it would be trivially easy to falsify that information.

Option 2: There really is a detective-in-training Yuma Kokohead. We konked him out and took his pants.

Come on crackpot theory. Let's roll for a 20!

YES! WE MUGGED YUMA AND STOLE HIS PANTS! I WIN FOREVER!!!

Are you talking about REAL YUMA!? Yeah, I know exactly the guy. Real Yuma is the real Yuma! I am so happy right now.

XD There was no trick to it. Real Yuma's entirely sincere about wanting to sell ramen instead of put up with our bullshit.

You know what? Fair. I did knock him out and steal his pants, after all. That was pretty rude of me. I'm Number One of the entire WDO. I can buy my own pants.

Because we knocked him out and left him lying in the inaccessible back area of the storage room after we took his pants.

OH MY GOD

Yuma Kokohead's background check said he was a good cook. That's what instigated the arsenic and battery acid stew we nearly killed Yakou with.

Oh my god. Of course he became a ramen salesman and makes pretty good ramen.

We need to hire him. Maybe he can help us with the "only human flesh can properly feed homunculi" problem with his brilliant culinary expertise. Yuma Kokohead may be the key to this city's salvation.

Finally, the crux of Makoto's identity mystery: Why did he go to so much trouble to enter here?

Oh! Out of spite! Great. Load off my mind. Yuma, cut his head off and put it in a box.

If Yuma dies then he leaves evidence behind that could reveal Makoto's true nature. But if Yuma drops off the face of the universe then that's that. Only one version of Number One exists.

Of course, that's a double-edged sword. We can just as well leave Makoto in here, solving the problem of his perfect immortality.

Yeah. See. That's what I'm talking about when I say your problem is capitalist thinking. Rather than asking, "What can I do to help the people of my city?" you're instead thinking, "What business can I acquire to consolidate further wealth and power?"

You were never going to save this city with that attitude, my guy.

[chierushi]

The Circle of Christian Life

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬-‭5‬)

We believe that Jesus came to atone for our sins. We repented and declared that He is our Lord and Savior, for He alone has the power to give us a new life. He says He is sovereign, He is the Creator, the Designer of all things made. And this God loves us and purposes everything towards His glory, and with it, our good. Jesus Christ is our confident hope of salvation.

Faith

With these things in mind, we hold on. We hope that He will fulfill His word. We remind ourselves of His faithfulness, even when our senses fail us. This is the tricky part, really, where the line is drawn, where God has to make space for humanity's free will. There is consent! All things considered, do we continue to live as His followers?

Peace

The struggle may be felt daily, sometimes a little harder to get by than yesterday, but after deciding to side with God and not our own or this world, we almost instantly feel and have this. Peace. And not the kind that's phlegmatic in nature. Jesus' presence does not take away reality. He provides 'more' perspective; He makes the more important, the more powerful, the good, visible. There is harm in the world, but also there is God who is able. He brings us into that place of undeserved privilege, as the verse says.

Rejoice

You can then be enthusiastic of life. At this point, nothing seems to stop us from bringing praise to God. How can the evil of this world fight against the Lord who forbids their ways? They cannot speak and move without His permission. The creatures who constantly nag you to sin, to lose your faith in God, to continue in despair, now can be seen as who they really are: weak and powerless. We are enabled by God to really take in the wonders of this life. We can be grateful for what we have and have not. We can look forward to the future with brightness because we know that our God will be there just as He is today. Nothing now can bring us down for all things are purposed and repurposed for His glory.

Endurance

We still live in a fallen world. As we've said earlier, the reality involves the good and also the bad. We do not dismiss it's existence, but only uses it for our gain. Trials will not be our ruin. This is our moment to prove to God and the world that our faith is true. Going through hardships, we share in Christ's suffering. By this time, we are able to see this as privilege, not our undoing anymore.

Character

This is probably the most neglected part of this cycle. We may not gain anything visible out of our sufferings, but for sure we will build character. This is the part where the Holy Spirit imbues Himself to us that we develop something permanent. The Holy Spirit makes us less of our old selves, and more of Christ. He produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭22‬-‭23‬) We are now eager to follow God wherever He leads, so we seek Him in His Word and prayer. We remember Christ as our confident hope in salvation, and we bring Him honor and praise.

In the circle of Christian life, the Holy Spirit is in attendance. He fills our hearts with His love (Romans 5:5) He controls us (Romans 8:9). He convicts us of our sin, of God's righteousness, and of the coming judgment (John‬ ‭16‬:‭8). He does not speak on his own but will tell you what He has heard. He will tell you about the future. (John 16:13). He bears witness about Christ (John 15:26). He prays for us (Romans 8:26). He is our Advocate who never leaves (John 14:16).

Good day! ☀️

[matrim-cauthons-hat]

Sergeant Telle pulled back the tarp briefly to look out the mouth of the cave. The blizzard continued to rage. Quickly, she pulled it back and tied it down, already beginning to lose feeling in her nose. Four of her squad had already fallen to the fowl weather before they had been forced to abandon their vehicles. Three more lost in the white out. The Sisters they had been aiding in escorting a senior Dialogus to safety.

A trio of the sisters knelt, praying, while the remaining two - one of who was the Dialogus herself - enjoyed a watered down cup of recaf by the fire, whose heat grew smaller and smaller against the encroaching cold of the night.

"Drink, Sarge?" Private Satra, one of Telle's last two guardswomen, said, offering a flask of amasec. they were sitting between the fire and the praying sisters, getting what heat they could from the power packs. the sisters were lucky to have their power armour, much warmer than flak armour and fatigues.

Telle huddled next to her guardswomen and joined them in the warmest spot in the cave.

"We're going to die here," Private Marit whimpered. She was the youngest there, full of vim and vigor to fight the enemies of humanity when she enlisted. poor girl had never been cut out to be a soldiers, she would have made a much better adept of the administrator.

Servos whined as one of the praying sisters turned around. Sister Victoria, if Telle remembered correctly. "You must have faith, trooper, for He well grant us salvation."

"Damn your faith," Telle spat before she realised what she was saying.

Everything was silent.

"We're freezing to death in this cave because of you," Telle jabbed a shacking finger at Sister Victoria, "We could have at least had a glorious death, fighting His enemies, but you and yours demanded a damned escort! Oh its fine for you in your power armour, but me and my women dont have that luxury! It isnt the enemies of the Imperium that has killed us, it is you!"

Silence, save the crackle of the fire, and then chattering of teeth.

Sister Victoria unbuckled her holster cover and began drawing her bolt pistol.

"Faith," the Dialogus cut in, "is out most powerful tool, and an incredibly powerful one at that."

Sister Victoria leveled the bolt pistol at Telle's head. She was too cold to move even if she wanted to.

"But,"the Dialogus continued, "it is not our only tool. Oh put that thing away Vicky, you're not a commissar. We all have our moments of weakness, whether we want to admit it or not. If you must kill the Sergeant for hers, then you will kill me afterwards, for i too have shown such weakness at times."

Sister Victoria reluctantly put away her bolt pistol.

"Good. Now, Faith is a powerful tool, but the Emperor in His wisdom gave us an entire toolbox to work with, not just one or two of the tools within. I'm no tech adept, but i do believe I can do something about this cold using our power armour... for all of us. It may be a little... cosy though. Tell me, have any of you heard of an ancient Terran bird called a penguin?"

* * *

After cutting some robes and another tarp, and quite some nervous praying to the Omnisiah and appeasement of machine spirits, the Dialogus has managed to create a shelter that, if not warm, was at least not so cold as to allow any more of their number to die. What really warmed it up were the bodies. In the tight confines of the dome into which all of the power packs were venting, everyone had been forced to sleep in one big pile. They survived the night, and Telle and her troopers gained a new appreciation for the well maintained bodies of her Adepta Sororitas counterparts.

[katie-the-bug]

The Mark of the Bees

Title largely unrelated to subject matter (The Mark, book eight of the Left Behind series). I just wanted to say "The Mark of the Bees." And now I have. Thank you for your indulgence.

The characters, in case you've forgotten:

The Tribulation Force: Rayford Steele, pilot; Buck Williams, journalist; Chloe Williams, organizer; Kenny Williams, infant; Tsion Ben-Judah, internet evangelist and ex-rabbi; Chaim Rosenzweig, new Israeli convert; Mac McCullum, backup pilot; Abdullah Smith, backup to the backup pilot; Albie, former black-marketer, espionage expert; David Hassid, IT guy on the inside; Annie Christopher, David's girlfriend; Hattie Durham, bitter ex-girlfriend of the Beast.

The Global Community: Nicolae Carpathia, risen lord and deity of the GC, in other words, the Antichrist; Leon Fortunato, Satan's little helper; Viv Ivins, role unclear.

Okay, so Nicolae's just come back from the dead, but, despite extremely limited changes in demeanor, our lead characters know he's possessed by Satan. Alright, what does this mean for Nicolae himself? Is his soul in Hell? Is he trapped in his body? He had a decent relationship with Satan already; maybe they're copiloting? Stay tuned while I figure out which answer is funniest.

Tsion leads Chaim in Bible study, saying that soon he will be "an expert about our own people," meaning the Jewish people. Because, as we all know, Christians know more about Judaism than Jews do.

Many of the group's capers owe their success to Albie's fake identity as a GC officer. Rayford seeks a similar false identity, hoping that David can get him into the system at a higher rank than Albie. Never mind that Albie has proven himself better at this whole "Impersonating the enemy" business - Rayford's the leader, so he should outrank him in disguise too.

Buck gets a new car, which the narration gushes about. I guess I can't begrudge the authors their hobbies.

Rayford and Albie go looking for Hattie, who wound up in GC custody in the last book. On the way, they find Steve Plank, Buck's old boss who vanished from the story a few books ago. He's wounded and deformed, but he converted and opposes the GC from the inside under a false identity. I suppose the only question now is how he'll really die, given that no character with more than a few pages of relevance can leave the story any other way.

It turns out that Annie was killed in the last book, randomly lightning'd to death by Leon, but we only learn about it now. I think it would have been more impactful for David to see her die at the hands of the enemy rather than finding out about it after the fact, but maybe that's just me.

Hattie becomes a Christian, and I can only assume that her days are numbered now that her ongoing struggle has been resolved.

Tsion, via his blog posts internet transmissions, tells people not to take the titular Mark (of the Beast), despite the threat of death for not doing so, because it will irrevocably damn them to Hell, but he also says that True Christians with the seal of God on their foreheads "will not be able to turn [their] back on Christ." It's never explained what this means for people who might take the Mark. Do you lose your salvation if you take it? Does the Mark not affect the saved? Will the Mark simply not apply itself to a sealed believer? I have many questions and the book is very slow to answer them.

Leon discusses the rollout of the Mark, mentioning that people can choose "design and size" as well as its location. A few preset designs have been mentioned, but I wonder - can you design your own? That'd be kinda fun actually - a visual mark everyone gets, but everyone puts their own spin on it. New worldbuilding idea...

"You can just squeegee me off the floor and pour me down the drain." I will give you no context because it's funnier that way.

Nicolae's office is being renovated, and he asks for several full-length mirrors, because "Why deprive myself of the joy others luxuriate in? They get to look at me whenever they want." I aspire to this level of confidence in my body.

This series has exactly one running joke, and it's at the expense of Abdullah's limited English - he used the word "pout" as an adjective rather than a verb once, and now people ask him if he "is pout." It's funny only by comparison to the rest of the book, but I'll take what I can get.

Apparently "amateur craftsmen in their backyards" are making guillotines for the GC. All I can think of is reddit posts in the woodworking subreddit featuring pictures of cute, intricately decorated guillotines with a blurb about the wood and techniques used and how it'll be donated to the GC.

Buck and Albie, disguised, watch a group of Greek Christians get martyred for not taking the Mark. Too often this series tells without showing, but here we get the experience of watching your comrades die lovingly described to us. More of this please.

The narration refers to people who've taken the Mark as having "ignorantly sealed their fate." This is something I don't understand about whatever brand of Christianity the authors are pushing. In Catholicism, for example, if you commit a mortal sin without knowing it's wrong, your culpability in the eyes of God is reduced and you wouldn't automatically go to Hell if you died right then. But in LaHaye and Jenkins' world, you can do something without knowing it's wrong and God will reject you forever. Catholicism has its issues - why do you think I'm an atheist? - but at the very least its God is understanding of circumstances. The God of Left Behind wants to see people suffer.

Tsion finally reveals why saved Christians can't take the Mark to decieve their enemies and further their cause - God "miraculously overcomes" your self-preservation instincts and provides the "grace and courage" to go to your death. In other words, you can't take the Mark because God will mind-control you to refuse. That's not the answer I was expecting, but okay.

Our new friend Chang, a teenage believer who's about to be employed by the GC, is drugged and given the Mark despite his protests. He is still saved, because he never agreed to take the Mark. You'd think the same logic would apply to people being threatened with death if they don't take the mark, because consent under duress is not consent, but God wants to see people die for him, so Chang gets a special exception.

It's said that "no one would fake the mark of the beast," and it's mentioned that the penalty for doing so is death, but why wouldn't you at least try if the penalty for being caught without a Mark is death anyway? With the GC terrifically understaffed and security at an all-time low, it could buy a disguised believer some time, even if they didn't have the microchip that all marks contain. And there's nothing in the Scriptures that says a fake Mark will damn you.

Well, that was certainly a book. I can only assume the next one will be more frustrating.

[amplifyme]

Why Are You Down Here?

Elderly Man: My crime was that I grew old. You see, in the world Above, people don't want to look at me... an old man. This unpleasant reminder of their future. I was to be cast away, hidden from the eyes of the young who want to believe they will live forever. To the world Above, I had lived too long. But here, Below, I have not lived long enough. So why am I here? To make memories, so that the last moments of my life may be as full of warmth and love as were the very first moments of my life.

Mary: Home. Children. I help the children grow. I nurse them when they're sick. I teach them. I love all of them as if each were my own. I lost my own. To lose a child is to lose everything, and it was here that I found a family again. The children are safe... here. This is our safe place. I tell them it will be here for them always.

Pascal: Trust. Continuity. A tradition of work and honor passed down from my father to me. A system of communication, a way in which we can always be connected. I continue what he began so many years ago. So that those that come after me will remember him long after I'm gone. I was born... here. This is my birthright… and my legacy.

William: My life Above was nothing but disappointments and failures. Nothing good ever happened until I found this home beneath the city. Down here, I do what I do best. I cook, feed people, and they appreciate me. I'm needed.

Paul: It's a new beginning, a chance.

Brooke: Hope.

Mouse: I help everyone, everyone helps me. I go, they miss me. I come back, they're glad. I'm never alone. Before, I was no one. Now, I am me. I'm Mouse.

Geoffrey: When my mother died, I went to the orphanage. And people came to adopt us. We'd all line up and I'd smile when they came by, hoping they'd choose me, but they never did. But, you know, everyone wants me here. I don't cry anymore. I got chosen.

Father: When I left the world Above, I was disillusioned, heartbroken. I'd lost my faith. Here it was I learned to listen to my heart, to face my old enemies, and heal my wounds. Here I learned to believe again. Hopes and dreams created this fragile world. Pride and vigilance maintain it, and it survives only because it is separate... and apart. It is a refuge where the disillusioned regain their vision. The lost become found. Where each of us can explore the best of our being. The best of what it means to be human. And to be... alive.

Vincent: My very existence lies here within these tunnels. It is my salvation. I couldn't exist elsewhere. Without this place, there is nothing for me. You must never, as long as you live, reveal what you have seen here to anyone. To do so would mean the end of life for all of us. The end of our world. You bear the weight of a great responsibility, but it is also a great privilege. You will always have a safe place with us here, should you need it. But now you must go back to the world Above, carry our secret with you forever... in silence.

[crossroadsdimension]

Final Fantasy 1 Overworld Theme in Final Fantasy 16 Represents a Character's Harmful Fantasy (Part 2)

(part 1 here; part 3 here)

As I said in my last post, the FF1 Overworld theme is in FF16's soundtrack. I've posted Part 1, where I discuss the first time it shows up (right before picking up Eikon set #5), and now here are my thoughts on its second appearance, not too long before we pick up Eikon set #6.

Here is the original FF1 music for reference:

Everything else is under the cut because -- once again -- LATE GAME SPOILERS!

(And warnings for some religion talk below for this one -- nothing Earth-based, but there are enough similarities with how a certain character acts that I'm sure it'll set some folks off.)

After listening through the FF16 soundtrack a couple times -- and finding a couple scenes on YouTube where this song plays -- I've noticed it really comes into prominence for 3 characters: Anabella, Barnabas, and Ultima. Their perspectives on life and what they dream of -- or fantasize, if you will -- are why I've chosen to title these posts this way, and I'll explain my reasoning as I work my way through each of them, in order as they appear.

Barnabas' Religious Fervor

Barnabas gets two instances of the FF1 theme. One is called "Mighty Acts of God," and the other is "Salvation." Fitting, considering his mindless, complete obedience to the utter monster that is Ultima.

The first of these two, "Mighty Acts of God," plays when Clive confronts Barnabas on the sea -- or, rather, on the sea floor, after Barnabas has cut the water in two and is trying to prove to Clive that his bonds with others is only going to slow him down. You could argue in this instance that Barnabas is literally an act of god, considering the man is nothing more than a puppet that reacts to Ultima's commands as his master pleases (and oh does that hit a few angsty spots in my brain. If anyone here followed me back when I was deep in Gravity Falls, you know why).

The other song, "Salvation," plays in the scene before Clive has his final fight with Barnabas at the top of the tower of Reverie. It's when Barnabas is waxing poetic about how Ultima plans to save them all, and that the only way for them to be saved is if they give up their free will to the monster. Barnabas has done so himself, leaving him nothing more than an akashic being that feeds on aether and is somehow still able to maintain a human appearance and personality. I called him an energy vampire when I saw him absorbing the dissolving akashic villagers right when Clive arrived at the tower, thinking that was why he was so casual about using his Eikonic abilities and summoning so many Sleipnir-egis. Half-right, that.

But these two versions of the FF1 overworld theme do give us some insight into Barnabas' character -- as much as Sever and The Riddle do, for his boss fight. His fantasy is a cult-like belief that all will be well if everyone believes in his "one true god" and fall into line acting like mindless pawns for Ultima to play with as he pleases. Unlike Anabella's song "Bloodlines," which comes off as desperate and tense as she scrambled to defend herself, "Mighty Acts of God" and "Salvation" are slower, calmer, more sure of themselves -- and more ominous as a result. Barnabas has been moving towards his goal for a long time, and he can afford to wait a little longer for Mythos to come to terms with what must be done.

The problem here from Barnabas' perspective is that humans like their free will, and they aren't going to give it up when a so-called god demands it of them. We value our connections with others, and put our faith in the people around us as much as they put their faith in us. Walking away from that to mindlessly serve a higher power is asking a lot of the people who Barnabas lives with -- severing friends from friends, family from family. And it's asking too much from Clive, who has so much to lose if he follows in Barnabas' wake.

(And I can see some similarities with modern religions on Earth, but I'm not going to bring them up here. What I've said about Barnabas likely has brought up more than enough bad memories for some folks.)

Barnabas' fantasy falls apart when Clive proves that not only can he fight as he is, connections intact, but also as the entire continent of Storm rebels against his mindset and beats back those who have fallen to the best of their ability. They don't plan to fall victim to his mindless mindset -- and neither do we. Barnabas cannot force others to follow in his footsteps, and those who do follow end up pushed past the point of no return, becoming akashic as a means to an end.

If the world is to recover from Origin, there will be an entire continent to repopulate, if the orcs don't take it over first.