#or causing a mess in the living room
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December 4 - Early Snack
#rottmnt#rise fanart#rise of the tmnt#rise raph#rise mikey#sunset duo#and splinter... kinda#leo and donnie are napping#or causing a mess in the living room#who knows#if you notice any mistakes im sorry i had to color it in a rush ;-; mondays are tough#tei's dec23#teidoodle
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Want to bet that at some point Danny with Tuckers help rigs up a livestream of the inside of the Fenton Fridge™ to try and catch how long it takes the hotdogs to turn into ghosts. Mostly he just wants some idea of when to clean out the fridge to prevent sudden hotdog attacks. No one outside of Amity Park takes it serious and thinks it is just a joke. A more boring version of a watch the lettuce outlast the politician only they don't know the context of the joke.
Then the live stream starts to glitch. Weird artifacting and fuzzing along the edges of the hotdog package form. A few people start to notice the odd items in the fridge like the specimen sample container filled with what looks like lime green jello. That sometimes the hands that rifle through it to take stuff out are wearing protective gloves.
The ARG people start to trickle into the stream and pick through past footage and Danny's other videos. His channel which had just a dozen or so followers ticks upwards and people join in on the new "Fridge Livestream ARG".
With his friends help Danny leans hard into letting people think it is an AGR. Tucker on the digital side with allowing more controlled bursts of the ecto-interfearence on the stream. Rigging up custom emots, notifications, and a donation page. Sam helps provide creepy ghost vegetables and fruit. Undergrowth's contact in the city has caused some creepy garden hotspots that grow super weird vegetables. Like potatoes that look like screaming faces or carrots with ridges like closed eyes. Danny starts moving the overflow of lab fridge stuff into the regular fridge things. Instead of them being banished to the drawer of shame Jazz created. Timing swapping the stuff into place with the bursts of artifacting Tucker lets through.
#danny phantom#ARG au#Danny Fenton#the fenton fridge is so haunted#while they try their sometimes they forgets which fridge he left the latest ectoplasm sample in#that or they run out of room and it get to live in the drawer of shame Jazz made the them use for lab stuff the kitchen fridge#she gave up long ago trying to keep the kitchen fridge for food only#Tucker rigs this up as a extra credit project for his collage profile#Tucker starts to throw in some extra effects to help hide the actual stuff caused by the ectoplasm interference#it nearly hurts him to allow the footage to corrupt more as he worked so hard to minimize it to begin with#Danny starts to mess about with the livestream with Sam's help#undergrowth messing about before caused some areas to grow really creepy veggies now#Danny is having a ball with this#he even leaves the fenton thermos in the fridge once#sometimes he goes invisable and intangable to move stuff about
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...am I just losing my mind or did yer icon become evil? I don't remember that BeAst behind Boe
yuuuump always been behind me
#ask#anon#pazuzu's just been there since the beginning#mainly because my avatar use to be of 2D in front of the d-sides album cover. or atleast one of the covers#and i had a lot of transparent edits of 2D over that cover#but when i had Boe made. i put him over it instead and i just kinda kept it like that cause i thought the colours together were really nice#as for the blurry swirls. i just like doing simple effects in paintdotnet#i don't really imagine them as much besides the blurriness of the minds eye. like this is how you'd see the inside of my brain maybe.#or not really my brain. boes minds eye maybe.#i don't know if i have a ''lore explanation'' for pazuzu in Boe's life in limbo/hell#or specifically in relation to Boe i mean#i'd still like to actually visualize what limbo looks like. or specifically the area in limbo in which Boe lives#which is just an old manor in the middle of nowhere. with old computer crts and keyboards in the mud of his back yard#dark purplish skies with maybe blueish roaming fields with no horizon#i do have a map file of me trying to create what i imagine to be Boes house but i've only blocked out his porch#i've got a loose idea of what the layout of his house's interior is like but nothing solid honestly#the reason he lives in an old manor is due to mystery case files: ravenhearst. inspiration-wise#use to play that growing up from bigfishgames. fucking love the look of that manor and the intense mess that resides within#i think i also think about the Gorillaz' o green world phase where they had kong studio's absolutely trashed with junk and shit#did actually buy MCF Ravenhearst the other day actually. specifically for higher res ref images of rooms#played a little of it the other day but i was so tired for most of that day so i didnt play for long#anyway. thank you for the ask anon :) yeah he's always been there. pazuzu kinda just blends into the background i think
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People joke about ADHD all the time, even swear up and down they totally think they also have it, but then if you ask for an accommodation, to please please please provide things in fucking writing, EXACTLY what they want and need, you will even work it out WITH them, like they promised they would do �� repeatedly over and over, and then you don't get it people really will fucking be like:
I am using the incorrect bathroom (TM) to place my shelving and store my things. Homegirl literally removed various sundries and toiletries from a CLOSED CABINET and SHELF because she's interested in boundaries and accountability for my mess.
I said months ago I wanted to improve things for her comfort level and needed a written list of what precisely that fucking looked like in order to achieve it and not miss anything she deemed important. I explained how ADHD works, why I needed a written reference. Why I had to have it laid out, and if something needed changing we needed to write it all out. I would've made the list myself, but they said they would make it for the whole house to hold up their end of things. And, thinking this was a very reasonable adult solution to keeping the house in good shape, I said okay, come up with the list of expectations and what is needed and that way we can update how we handle chores. Awesome. I will do that to uphold my end.
No list ever gets made or drafted or anything despite my bringing it up, knowing we need to do it, but I DO get berated for failing to meet expectations and boundaries that were never fucking provided or delivered and include "don't store toiletries in this particular bathroom because I don't like it."
I can't believe I am a goddamn adult who gets treated like an idiot child for expecting adult communication instead of snide ass passive aggressive bullshit and basic respect for my things.
Because when I fucking get home, my shelving has been removed and a cabinet emptied of my things and placed in the "correct" bathroom.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Oh shit she solved it, this doesn't look cluttered at all!
What a vast improvement to storing things in appropriate storage!
#my mortal sins include a laundry basket in the kitchen which is where the laundry room is#doing something INCOMPREHENSIBLE to work with my adhd like use the downstairs bathroom to get ready in the morning#instead of the upstairs one because that works best for me and keeps me moving in the morning#storing hobby supplies i was using in the living room in a milk crate basket to clear space at night easily#i left an oil painting to dry on a tabletop easel on MY coffee table and she tried to clean it up causing some of the paint to come off#i used to keep an empty up placed on the mat next to the cat water fountain to remind me to fill up often#not a mess of cups not half emptied cups. a dedicated refill cup tucked behind the fountain#when it kept getting removed i switched it up and placed the cup on top of the cat food bin to clearly indicate it was a cat item#no this is UNACCEPTABLE#also all my coats were removed from the coat rack i feel insane#coats GO ON THE COAT RACK#have you ever had someone actively sabotage your tools to manage your adhd bc its not fun lol#'i can understand why it feels shocking now' literally the most vile snide snake shit when you didnt communicate boundaries at all#its not communicating an expectation to gather up my personal belongings and dump them somewhere else and then text me about it during work#this is how you know shes only ever lived with blood relatives before this lol the entitlement#adhd blogging
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my roommates dog absolutely decimated the living room and i am so fucking tempted to just leave it till she comes home so she can clean it up
#yesterday when she slept in (so the house was quiet) of course i wasn’t able to sleep in and woke up for some reason at 7:30#and that was when her dog was quietly sleeping in the living room#but today when she gets up and goes to the gym and is around the house and Loud i fall back asleep every time#AND WAKE UP AT 11 DESPITE HER DOG TEARING THE LIVING ROOM APART?!#when she gets home at work i’ll be gone for my shift since i work this evening#and like she can assume that it happened when i was gone??#i mean this morning i heard some noise downstairs but i didn’t get up to check it out cause i Didn’t Care#plus i was exhausted and had trouble falling asleep last night (hello depression!)#i’ve cleaned up this dogs messes before and he’s fucking annoying#lindsay.text
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Hi ! I'd like to know too for the ask game : 6, 13 and 26 ?
6. Is there a c!Dream scene/moment/action you would change?
Hmmmm I can't think of any, no. Mostly I think I would like some more in terms of follow-through w/ certain scenes, such as c!Endersmile the whole agreement with c!Dream + c!Foolish, the whole Aimsey debacle, stuff with c!Sapnap, but a lot of that was kinda beyond cc control. In terms of the stuff that seemed to be building somewhere that we didn't get I'd say what I miss the most is probably c!Wilbur getting involved w/ the prison arc, because damn it seemed like everyone involved wanted that badly but it just never worked out scheduling wise. Also, scrapped lore, but scrapped lore Is Canon. To Me.
In terms of actual scenes I would change...idk, LN5 c!Quackity and c!Dream showdown comes to mind? But that wasn't like bad, it was just because of internet issues there was a lot less of it than I would've liked. I wanted to see more c!Dream in the c!Dream vs c!Quackity showdown (tm), but as it is c!Dream blowing up a shit ton of slime and having a panic attack works perfectly well for me (it honestly hurt c!Q more than c!Dream, considering their stories, but again sometimes technical issues can't be helped.)
13. Since we rarely saw c!Dream's own POV, who was your main pov character/s?
Wherever c!Dream Was (tm).
For a more serious answer, especially in the early days I watched a lot of Tubbo. Fundy too, funnily enough? Wilbur as well, Tommy POV was probably what I watched the least at that point (unless Dream was online lmao). Lots of Punz watching too tbh when he was active on DSMP (and now, I've been watching Punz for a long time). Later on, still lots of Tubbo, more Tommy, I just kinda hopped onto whoever's stream at the time errrr I will not lie i was kinda a no life DSMP watcher for like all of 2020. Later on I watched a lot of Sam, Foolish, and Bad when they were the main three logging on. But yeah, basically whoever I could lmao
26. If c!Dream had to spend the rest of his life around only one other DSMP character, which one would you choose for him?
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰c!Sam🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I mean I do have an AU that's literally this exact concept what do u expect from me who am I if not giving c!Sam eeeeeeverything he could ever want (tm)
If I'm not literally torturing c!Dream, probably c!Techno XD
#dreblr ask game#my asks !!#ask game#thinks about c!dream in the finale ueueuue#remembering how it was to . Want To Live. oh my boy :[#tbf in terms of like /healing/ that last question is a hard one to answer for me#idk c!dream kinda needs to live like. for himself yk. idk.#he's been in a really fucked place in his head and scrambling to Fix the Whole Fucking World#and he's like looked at himself like who he is in the mythos is all he can be#and look i think at the end of the day he needs idk. room to breathe. idk. to not be alone but also#to not like idk become consumed by this like idk intertwined mess of devotion and fear#like there's no really easy answer imo healing isn't exactly easy for him. at all.#he's been in the thick of a community where he was the scapegoat and the Cause Of All Evil and he's done a lot of shit things true#but he's also been treated in so many terrible ways and honestly just never really given a chance to be like. human#and there's a lot of paranoia and thought patterns divorced from reality and whatnot#anyway . all that being said. making him worse on the other hand is very easy#so yeahhhh [waves c!dream over c!sam's head like a new toy for a dog] WHOS A GOOD BOY
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WEEEEEEEEEE
#personal#for the first time since we've moved to this place we finally were able to get TWO new AC units#im so excited for them to get here tomorrow#it is Unbearable in my apartment rn cause our old AC unit is kinda busted#also we need to clean the filter for our (Very Good) tower fan#but i keep forgetting d:#so new window unit is very exciting#also now we'll be able to have one in our living room too#which will help SIGNIFICANTLY out there#cause the last few years if someone comes in the summer we literally have been giving them All the fans in our apartment so they dont die#but then we're really warm#and its jsut a mess#plsu it makes the living room more useable for me now woohoo
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gardening is done for now!!!
there was actually more dirt in those bins than I thought, so I'm pretty happy with how much I managed to do.
#i still have to plant the peas cause they have to soak for a few hours first#but aside from that!! done!!#also the living room is an absolute mess but i do not have the motivation to clean
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#I’m so ready for this chapter to be done with#and I had a lot of hope that I could manage an update this weekend but I found out today that x is coming to visit#and listen. I’m at 20k so statistically it’s gonna get done sooner rather than later#but sooner might not be until next weekend and that frustrates me since I had an ideal update schedule I want to maintain#and I don’t want it to get messed up ma#*up#and it doubly sucks that the reason im so behind is that the holiday season kicked my ass on top of all the prep I had to#*to do for my friends wedding and I just. idk I don’t regret doing any of gang since it’s core memories but I kinda just reminds me that if#i want to live the life I want to live then writing will have to go on the back burner at times but I always want to be writing#like in high school my parents rented every episode of sharp’s rifle off of Netflix so that they could show it to me and my sibling#*sibling except I didn’t watch any of it since I was holed up in my room writing all the time like they all have this core memory of#watching this show together that I don’t have but if I didn’t hole up like that then I wouldn’t have practiced writing as a teen which#i needed to do since I wasn’t born a good writer and had to really learn if#*it cause I have no natural talents lmao yayyyy ok it’s 1am I’ll go to bed now#will delete probably
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just wrote like three paragraphs ranting about my living situation and deleted it just know I am going insane and i hate it here and I need to live by my fucking self or I am going to absolutely fucking lose it
#I can not stand cleaning up shit for people anymore I can’t stand people taking my stuff or messing up shit I clean or organize or whatever#I hate feeling pressured to stay in my room constantly because she almost never fucking leaves and the entire living room/kitchen area is#apparently her fucking home office now. so there’s just nowhere else to go where I’m not forced to interact with her#not to mention how I cleaned out that entire area EXTENSIVELY only a couple months ago and now all of that work is just gone#she re-cluttered it and now it’s a nightmare again :)#and she’s out there in the first place because she clutters her room and desk in her room to such an extent that it’s basically unusable#at least when I had a shitty roommate her mess was confined to one side of a bedroom more or less#and there was a living room/kitchen that wasn’t a fucking nightmare that I could generally control the tidiness of#I can’t fucking live like this I can’t keep cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and throwing away shit and organizing shit and whatever#just to have it all be for NOTHING every fucking time because she takes more shit out and doesnt put it away and buys more shit#that we can’t fucking afford and don’t immediately need and hahaggsgsgshsshshhhshshshshssh#I can’t fucking do it! I really can’t keep doing this it makes me violently angry and one of these days I’m going to snap and break my door#or something#I didn’t even want to move back in here to begin with this was supposed to be temporary. as in only for a couple months#but all my job applications fail and I have no other form of income or support so. haha I’m stuck here#i won’t even get started on just#not wanting to live with her for a million other reasons#I need to get the fuck out of here I do not want to be responsible for cleaning up her messes and doing whatever she says without choice#cause I mean. that’s another thing. At least my roommate couldn’t force me to do whatever she wanted with any resistance being seen as#criminally disrespectful and depending on her wildly unpredictable mood maybe she’ll verbally abuse me or degrade me or accuse me of things#who knows!#also won’t get into the fact that I’m almost two years on t and she still misgenders me and deadnames me and believes she has the right to#do so#kibumblabs#negative#delete later probably.
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My mum asked me to clean the house while she's gone which is. An odd request because it's hard to tell what exactly constitutes as messy in this house, we have 2 toddlers, the house is not in a position to be clean
#gamer txt.#like there are things everywhere because thats just where they go now#what makes a room messy? those things being on the floor? them not being in their designated corner?#the house wasnt even that bad i went downstairs and everything was pretty normal#i shoved some toys back into the corner of the living room and fixed the couch and cleaned up the floor and that was it#i swept the kitchen and that was it#i dont know what constitutes as this house being clean but this looks pretty clean to me#although she might be includinf bedrooms in 'house' which im not going to do#the wee ones bedrooms are always going to be a mess and her room is her responsibility#really though what constitutes a mess? things not being where they were meant to go?#cause then surely the shoes in the kitchen are a mess since theyre not in the shoe cabinet but they stay there#if you move them someone gets mad
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don't know how to describe it without metaphors. audhd feels like I have 10 strings hooked into my body pulling me in opposite directions and leaning towards one string to try and "fix" that problem (cooking, cleaning, classwork, etc) just makes the other strings pull tighter and hurt more. this point of this whole post is to explain that when I see someone older than me who also struggles with exactly the same things to the same extent that I do, it makes a couple of those strings loosen and stop pulling. not forever, because they always start pulling again, but having the expectation lifted of needing to have a "normal functioning life" by age whatever is so nice. everything still hurts but for now at least that part of my brain can rest.
#i understand how the reverse can seem too#but idk. its always been such a weight off my shoulders#probably in part for selfish reasons but it helps me like. slow down#like i cannot solve all of my problems tonight. i probably can't even solve them in the next 20 years#so i can slow down. other people are alive like this. other people make their lives work like this. i can do it too#i need to be medicated so fucking badly but i can't until im off my parents health insurance#and even then im so scared it'll make my autism symptoms harder for me to deal with and ill like. lose my job or something#but i can't fucking live like this so idk what to do! lmao!#ive been trying to pay closer attention to my anxiety and stress lately so i can pinpoint causes and like. try to stop them#but all ive learned is that i am never Not stressed.#if my room is cleaned im not eating well. if im exercising well im not cleaning well.#if im on top of classwork im not taking care of myself at all. etc etc#it is always a push and pull. i can't just solve these problems#because i have to clean well and eat well and exercise often and sleep well and cook often and socialize often and work hard and save money#and and and#im always not doing something to make room for something else and bc of that i will ALWAYS have those strings pulling me so tightly it hurts#i know in my head how i can loosen the strings but that all comes at the expense of living like a ''normal'' person#i will have a dirty house. i will have lots of canned and frozen foods. i will leave my house for work only.#im so tired my bones hurt. my strings are tight again and classes are starting again soon and my room is a mess and i ate like shit today#and i havent excersized in a while and im not showering as often as i should and im drinking too much and im sleeping too much#im so tired#vent#sorry#i feel like i need to curl up and die. like my body is sending some signal that there isn't much more i can fucking take#and that this continuous pushing and struggling and picking up the pieces is worthless#i feel like that blood robot. im old and rusted and slowing down and i have achieved nothing#i will die having not achieved anything and i will be struggling until my very last second#i shouldn't have been the twin that survived. they would have been so much better than this
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on the second to last attempt of making my computer work again and then i have one more thing i am willing to try on my own
issues started again this morning (two restarts before we even booted to windows yay) so we are still here. suffering. in an overall better mood tbh cause its been way less frequent now since i reinstalled windows but yeah
#like every little thing helps a bit more but nothing has been able to fix it entirely so far#got through all the contact points inside and cleaned them today. so we'll see where that gets us#if nothing else works im going to assume its somehow to power outlet in the wall so im gonna swap shit around in my living room#and hook it up elsewhere#doubtful that'll work cause nothing else is fucking around thats plugged in there but. yeah#anyways im probably not gonna do much today anyways i really wanted to finish the two socks i have in progress instead#do art tomorrow if this thing functions with me#night is an absolute mess on main
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my dad has threatened to kick me out so many times it equally means nothing and worries me constantly at the same time LMAO
#cant wait to move out and then ill worry about landlords kicking me out instead#i think this time he means it though but in a 'the second u get a stable job im just going to b waiting 4 you to leave' kind of way#im like super excited to finally move out at some point next year but also so scared???#like om i am going to STRUGGLE yk and spiders#but yk thousands of people have moved out and probably been scared and they all lived so ill probably b ok#right??#yeah ill be ok (I am panicking)#om i get to decorate an apartment all alone though#and when i am rich ill have a really big one#i want a warm apartment#ill get a three room one like a kitchen / bedroom / bathroom type of thing#ive been searching even though i wont be out for months#and like i cannot lie it was a bad idea because i found these not so pricey ones i liked and now im sad cause obv i cant get them#theyll be gone by then#but its ok i know where to look i think#i havent actually seen any in person#london flats r such a mess its honestly fun to look through#some guy shoved a bed in the kitchen and tried to rent it as two bedrooms lmao#i dont have irls tumblr is my irl you all have to listen to my moving out thoughts
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Peak little miss lady
#she is happy and healthy she just had kittens when she was like a year and a half so her proportions are just#like that#cat#her name is Violet btw. if you even care#also if a single person comments about the clutter these photos are OLD and things have since been cleaned#i had some asshat on twitter respond to me posting pics of my cat with the damn bitch you live like this#because one picture was of my parents bedroom which was a mess cause they fucking hated eachother and were alcoholics#and i didnt really give them the time of day but its always bothered me cause that was the one room of the house i didnt#have the ability or energy to clean cause it was my PARENTS room#but yeah its messy in a lot of pics cause my dad died a few months ago so v sorry abt that
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today is not going to be a good day for me
#i'm already on the verge of crying#i need to clean my room because we need to get bug bomb stuff to get rid of our flea issue#but i keep getting blamed for my room being a mess and causing me to get bit by fleas when it's hardly my rooms fault#like yea i get bit on occasion in here but it's mainly the kitchen and living room where its the worst but i keep being essentially told it#my fault i'm being bitten because i'm a slob and i just want to kms already
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