#or being thrown into political conflicts and making them worse for everyone involved

[blood-orange-juice]

I find it so strange when fic writers make debt collection a significant part of Childe's job. I can't blame them, he's been shown to do it several times on screen, but also... he's more important than that?

(also more interesting)

Where's scheming, where's killing dragons or single-handedly overthrowing nobles. You know, the things mentioned in his character stories

Where are the war crimes? I want to see war crimes

There's a difference between a warrior and a thug and people pretty much write him as the latter (although he does have the appropriate vibes and I think we are supposed to mistake him for one at first)

Again, I can't blame people, he's shown to do it and as a former agent he has probably done it in the past. But also it's not his job?

The first time we see him doing it in his trailer he tags along for the sigil (the agent even asks if he really needs to oversee something so routine). In his story quest he does it because he lost a bet to a subordinate. In Fontaine he was on a vacation and I assume it was either a "Kateryna, please find me someone to harass, I'm bored" situation or him helping out because he's nice (in his special way)

He's also, well, bad at threatening people. No one is scared of him. This is a thing I never see depicted in fics

I don't want to throw shade at anyone, it looks more like a problem with genshin writing (or maybe an intentional thing: showing a talented person capable of slaying otherworldly beasts rotting away doing something minor and distasteful) that gets amplified by fics. Just... feels so weird every time. Maybe it's me

[talldarkandroguesome]

22nd of Hearthfire, Middas

I have never considered the Redoran to be a particular deceptive House. My respect for playing the game when few other Houses considered them capable.

Yet what they have done, even just that small contingent, is beyond mere reproach.

After I joined up with Naryu and Veya and learned more, it came out that Verya was actually Naryu’s apprentice.

I can see why. There is some personality resemblance between Veya and Naryu back in her younger days. I am sure that seeing a younger version of herself she was happy to take on the role of mentor.

All I can say is, I am glad that it is not me. Can you imagine? Me? With an apprentice?

Boethiah’s breasts and bullocks, what a disaster that would be!

All of that aside, it turns out that the group of Velothi I was warned off was not at all Velothi. They were not even Dunmer! More of those Khajiit mercenaries.

Veya explained that her brother was very close to the Velothi that had made their home in the same encampment. Suddenly things were beginning to make sense. 

So Veya’s brother was exiled for killing one of his mer, who was likely threatening the Velothi people. Honestly, he does sound as much of an upstanding mer as everyone says he is. At least someone in prominence is looking out for the Velothi. 

Well... was. I supposed he was somewhere else now.

So we decided to try and investigate, for as Veya explained, this was the Zainab camp and their yurts were still in place, even if the only people we saw were the Warclaw mercenaries.

I asked if Naryu and Veya had a plan and was told that as members of the Morag Tong, they were not allowed to get involved. No writ, no ability to start taking lives otherwise. Veya seemed particularly frustrated by this, so I reassured them that I would be their proxy and I would learn what I could and if lives needed to be taken, I would do so in their stead, still in our Prince’s name.

So they stayed out of sight and I went ahead and snuck into the camp.

It was far easier than expected, I rarely had to use my shadows at all and easily was able to slip between the tents and I was able to easily pluck Redoran orders to the Warclaws and even find one of the wise woman that had been held hostage.

She was able to verify that they were, in fact, Zainab. She also confirmed that Ulran had come to be with them once he was exiled for saving the life of several of the tribesmer.

When I asked what had happened to the rest of the tribe, she said that most of them had been rounded up and thrown into the mine for resisting captivity. One of the mercenaries had the key, but she told me where they kept their backup key in the board of a small table and I promised her by True Tribunal that I would do whatever I could to free her people and to kill those responsible. 

She thanked me and asked me to make sure that the leader in particular was made to pay.

With her blessing, I decided there was no more need to hold back and once I had the key securely in my possession, I slay every soul that lay between myself and the mine, taking special care to see that their leader was brought to justice.

I normally would have attempted to make it a more painful death, to share the suffering that he caused ninefold. Yet I was eager to free the Velothi prisoners and reunite Veya and Ulran. I figured if we were to get to the bottom of the Redoran conspiracy, he would be the key.

As I approached the mine, I overheard two of the mercenaries talking while I crept behind them, blades drawn. They had been given leave to dispose of everyone in the mine by the captain, who I can only assume meant the Redoran captain. I did not even spend the time to kill those two, merely hit them with poisoned needles and rushed on, now with the threat of death far greater, I needed to rescue everyone before the Warclaws succeeded.

As I opened the door to the mine, I could already smell smoke. I wrapped a cloth round my face as I ran, hurrying towards the smell. If I could save anyone at all, I was going to do so. I swore by Azura’s guiding stars that I would lay down as many of my lives as it took, if I could save even one soul.

Yet as I reached the back room of the mine, my heart sank. A cold, sick feeling settled in my throat as I gazed upon my failure.

So many lives. So many innocent lives.

And among the bodies, I could clearly make out the body of Ulran. We were too late.

The room was silent and still. the only sound was my own pulse thrumming in my ears.

Then I heard Veya asking Naryu about the smell, I turned, trying to stop them, even as I heard Naryu, in recognition of the same smell, trying to stop Veya from entering.

It was too late for that too. And she all too easily recognized her brother’s corpse.

Her heart-wrenching cries as she screamed for her brother to wake up were almost more than I could bear. I knew that feeling, too. And I could not help but be brought back to that Daedric ruin, the scent of fresh blood, Avon’s begging for us both to stop, Ervis’ body sliding off of my sword to the ground, eyes still glaring at me, wishing for my death.

I can imagine what it feels like to lose a brother you care so deeply for. To wish you could do something, anything to take it all back.

Naryu pulled me aside and we agreed that it was awful that Veya had to see all of this. And we wondered what it was that we could to help Veya get the answers that she certainly would need more now than ever.

Then I spotted a small object on the ground. It was some sort of small rock, but out of place with the stone of the mine. I picked it up and Naryu came to see what it was. She recognized it instantly as a Nord speaking stone, a sort of memory recording device. I had seen others, though of Dunmeri make, and as soon as she said as much, I realized how foolish I was not to have seen it at once.

Naryu activated it and an image of Ulran began to speak.

Even in his last moments, the one thing he wanted was to give his sister answers. It was exactly as an older brother should do. He explained that one of his soldiers had been harassing a group of Velothi, who rumor had it were being belligerent in town. When Ulran had told the man to stand down, the soldier had slayed one of the Velothi. When Ulran tried to reprimand him, he approached another of the Velothi, sword raised. In order to stop the slaying, he turned to the only option available to him, and killed his own man.

The repercussions of the action were that he was brought before the Council and exiled, even before having a chance to say farewell to Veya. He also said he suspected that he was set up by someone in the House, though he did not know who. The Velothi had taken him in, but then Captain Brivan had shown up with soldiers. He had made the recording just in case things happened. It was sadly prophetic of him to assume it may be his last message.

Veya was enraged. Partially from the grief of her brother being gone and part for the role her own House played in the affair. I agreed with her, as did Naryu, that he did not deserve to die. That he was a good man, upstanding, and followed his convictions to the end.

She cursed that quality if it was what got him killed and swore vengeance. I knew that rage and I knew what it could bring. If the Morag Tong were not allowed to involve themselves without a writ, surely this would be far worse. After all, the reason why myself and others of the Houses’ prominent families are generally barred admission, is because of the conflict of interest it poses. You cannot be impartial if you have loyalties or grudges with various Houses. This was clearly a personal grudge and one that the Morag Tong would not look lightly at.

Naryu cursed Ulran for putting so much pressure on Veya when she was already hurting, though she agreed that it seemed like a set up. I agreed.

We decided we needed to get to the bottom of things. Naryu cursed the fact that it meant going up against House Redoran without a writ to protect them. I said I understood, Redoran was the House my own was most closely connected with and if I was found to be working against them, it could start a House war between our closest ally.

Even still, I agreed to help. I had come this far and since I had failed to protect the majority of the Zainab tribe, the least I could do was to see that they were not blamed for some House scheme. I would protect them as best as I could from within the House political system. If I learned more about the rumors of a Nerevarine in the interim, that would be a bonus. 

We all headed back to the safe house and pondered our next move. Naryu suggested that we make sure that the Councilmer know the truth of his son’s death and we decided that it would be best for it to come written in Veya’s hand so that he would believe us.

Then, so that their safety could be maintained, I agreed to deliver the message to Councilor Eris. Naryu lent me some clothing she had in the Redguard style and I made liberal use of the veil. I padded out undergarments to make myself wider and hunched in my shoulders. I adapted my gait and slowed my movements, then slipped out.

I gave myself a slight limp and when I had finally convinced my way in to meet with the Councilor, I spoke with a slight lisp. I explained that I came with news of his children. It was enough to get his attention. He asked if his daughter had been found and I said the news concerned his son.

He seemed rather surprised, since he was under the impression his son was no longer on Vvardenfell at all. I broke the news gently that his son was killed in a raid by his own captain upon the Zainab camp. He found this hard to believe. So I gave him the letter from Veya and said she had sent me to bring it after she had seen it for herself and that I was to make sure he got the news.

Understandably, he was shaken as he read the contents and knew the handwriting to be Veya’s own.

He asked if I could do him a favor, which I agreed to. It took him a while to come to a decision, but after visibly wrestling with his options, he asked if I could make sure that Veya stayed away until everything settled down. That he would do his best to contain the chaos. He asked me to ensure that she was safe. He even paid me to do so.

I bowed formally and told him I would do my best and then I left. Ashur spotted me, seemed a bit surprised and then made a hand signal for me to meet up three blocks up ahead.  I made sure to go down an alley and turn invisible to make sure that no one was tracking me. I did not want to be followed and lead anyone back to the last remaining safety that Veya and Naryu possessed. Then, I removed my outer garments and tucked them round the stomach before going to meet Ashur just up the road.

After a brief conversation, it turns out that Naryu had a business matter to see to and that he was struggling to help comfort Veya and asked if I might be of assistance. I agreed and we headed back to the safe house. 

When we first arrived, it was clear how upset Veya was. Not just about her brother, but also about not being allowed to go with Naryu. It was worse than Ashur had said.

I sang a song which helped her to fall asleep. I know it will not last long, but when so many things have happened, sometimes even a short rest can be healing. I know she will wake soon and I need to be prepared, a rest will mean she will also have more energy. I just wish there was more that I could do for her. I will just have to try my best.

[megalony]

All for Ellie- Part 3

Another part of my latest dad! Ben Hardy series which I hope everyone is enjoying so far.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You alright?" Leaning her head back on the sofa, (Y/n) tried to smile at Ben as he walked through from the kitchen. Stopping to stand behind the sofa so he could talk to her, one of those looks on his features that showed it wasn't anything bad but it wasn't necessarily good either.

Turning around, Ben leaned his frame onto the back of the sofa, his arms folding against the top of it before he reached his hand out towards Rosie. Smiling at the two-year-old who was sitting on (Y/n)'s lower stomach, leaning up against her mother's legs that were pulled up to accommodate their girl. Reaching out, Rosie grabbed hold of Ben's hand, giggling when (Y/n) started to tickle her sides.

"She won't get out of bed." Ben responded, giving (Y/n) a certain look as she bit her lower lip in response. Both of them knew this was going to happen.

Last night Ellie had started to be sick and when she was sick she started to get grumpy, especially if she was also tired. She hated being ill and that hurt them all because they knew she was going to have to get worse before she got better. The eight-year-old had a disrupted sleep and was still not very well now so she was refusing to leave her bed. At any other time, Ben would have gladly laid down with her and watched tv, letting her stay in bed for as long as she wanted. But Ellie had been in bed for four days now.

She had gone from being in bed at home with Danni to being in bed at home with Ben and she wasn't moving. Ben wanted her to at least try and come downstairs because she hadn't been sick hour hours now. It wasn't the best thing for her to lay motionless in an unhappy mood and he was beginning to worry what she would be like next week when they started radiotherapy. That would really make her ill and take its toll on her, Ben didn't want her to just become immobile for the next few weeks.

"I thought she was going to the scan with you?" (Y/n) responded, glancing to the clock on the wall before back to Ben. He would have to leave in about ten minutes or so to meet Danni since they were going for their first scan today.

Ellie had gone to the scans when (Y/n) was pregnant with Rosie and Ben and Danni said she could come along this time too and she seemed excited about it. (Y/n) thought the little girl would be fussing around with what to wear and getting ready since she liked to be early or on time for everything. She seemed happy last night about going with them.

(Y/n) was beginning to feel conflicted about everything herself.

One moment it seemed fine, especially when Ellie was around because she reminded (Y/n) the reason why this was happening. She reminded (Y/n) that Ben still loved her and he wasn't leaving her or Rosie, this was just an awkward situation. But then at other times such as when Ben brought up the scan, (Y/n) couldn't help but feel like a balloon that was slowly deflating.

This was Ben's baby and (Y/n) understood that completely. He loved all his children and he liked to be involved with everything which was why he was going to this scan today with Danni. But thinking about it sent waves of sadness and jealousy through (Y/n) because this shouldn't be happening. Ben shouldn't be going to a scan with his ex, it should be him and her like it was with Rosie when everything was fine. (Y/n) knew it felt and sounded selfish to think in this way but she couldn't help it. Her husband was having a child with someone else- with his ex, and she was not fine with this as much as she tried to be.

"She is- she was... I don't know, she's just in a mood now." Leaning down, Ben pressed a kiss to (Y/n)'s lips before straightening up and heading to the stairs to go and see Ellie. If she had decided she was still going she needed to get up and get dressed now so they would be on time.

Slowly walking into the light grey-bluey coloured room, Ben tilted his head to the side as he tried not to sigh at seeing Ellie hadn't moved a muscle. She was curled up in the middle of the bed, laid on her side as the tv was blurring on in the background. Although Ben couldn't tell if she was paying any attention to the programme that was showing or not. Walking over, Ben sat down on the edge of the bed, gently running his hand through her hair as she turned her head so she could see him properly.

"Alright, I'm going to pick your mum up soon for the scan. Are you coming with us?" Ben's shoulders slumped when Ellie shook her head, pulling the cover tighter over her shoulders to show that she was staying where she was. Not in the mood to go out.

"Don't feel well." She mumbled in response, watching Ben with a frown as he picked up the tv remote and turned the tv off. His head cocked to the side as he wished she would at least try and get out of bed. He knew she was unwell, of course she was going to feel unwell, her white blood cells were low meaning she was prone to infections. But Ben just wanted her to move about the house because she would make herself feel worse simply laying and sleeping all day like this.

Reaching over, he pressed the back of his hand to her temple before her neck and then leaning down to check the sick bucket resting at the side of the bed for precaution and emergencies.

"I know you don't feel great sweetheart, but you don't have a temperature anymore and you haven't been sick since last night. You can't stay in bed forever. Why don't you come downstairs, sit with (Y/n) and Rosie for a bit?"

"Can't." She muttered back, frowning at Ben's persistence to try and get her to leave the comfort of her bed. Normally he was fine with her staying in bed, he'd join her and they'd watch a movie or they'd watch tv in his room with Rosie and (Y/n). She didn't want to move, she just wanted to lie here and go to sleep for a bit longer or to just watch a movie. She wasn't feeling sick but she wasn't feeling one hundred percent either.

"You can't walk now?" Ben countered, a trace of a smile on his lips that faded when Ellie furrowed her brows and frowned at him. "Eleanor, please. You don't have to come out with me and your mum, just come downstairs." Ben huffed when she stayed quiet, staring at him as if daring him to do something. "I have to go, if you're not coming with me then you can stay downstairs with (Y/n)." A whine of protest left Ellie's lips when Ben pulled the cover from her frame before picking her up.

Leaning over he grabbed the sick bucket in one hand, keeping Ellie secured to his shoulder with the other before he walked out of the room. His head turned to look at her when she let out a small sound that resembled a sob before burying her face into the crook of his neck. Her arms tightening just a little too much around his neck but he said nothing.

Making his way back into the living room, Ben gently set Ellie down on the sofa beside (Y/n), placing the sick bucket down on the coffee table just in case it was needed. He watched Ellie grab the blanket thrown over the back of the sofa, tucking it around herself as she burrowed into (Y/n)'s side.

"What's the matter, sweetie?" (Y/n) asked, gently running her hand through Ellie's hair when she heard the little girl sniff into the blanket trying to hideaway. Her eyes glanced up to look at (Y/n) before drifting to Rosie who was now resting against her chest, smiling at her elder sister clearly not knowing that something was wrong. (Y/n) continued to brush her hand through Ellie's hair as she turned to look at Ben, wondering what was happening since Ellie clearly didn't seem very happy right now.

"She's alright. I've got to go now, I'll see you all in an hour." Ben spoke softly, leaning over so he could give Rosie a hug and a kiss, doing the same with (Y/n) before he crouched in front of Ellie. When she managed a smile Ben felt relieved as he leaned over to give her a hug, kissing her temple before pulling back so he could leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "How'd it go?" (Y/n) felt the familiar bubble of jealously blocking her airways as soon as the words passed through her lips. She wasn't sure if she meant them or if she was just trying to be polite but either Ben didn't notice her sudden uncomfortableness or he was trying to ignore it.

"It was good... everything's fine with the baby up to now so hopefully everything will go smoothly." Ben turned his head to the left so he could look over his shoulder at (Y/n) who was shutting one of the chest drawers. Turning around so she could lean against it, her lips pressed into a thin line as she nodded in response. Agitation clearly showed in her body language and her lack of words causing Ben's frame to slump. "You asked." He said gently before turning back so he was facing his bedside table. Opening the first drawer so he could take out the small, jet black box he kept in there.

"What?" (Y/n) couldn't determine if her tone was coming off as defensive or questioning but she knew her words weren't as gentle as Ben's had been. Pushing herself off the cabinet, (Y/n) walked over and sat down on the bed on her side.

Her eyes watched Ben's movements with intrigue as he took the lid off the box, revealing the contents which (Y/n) hadn't seen before. She watched as Ben pulled out a small collection of papers that were bound together with a paperclip, and then another matching stack. Her eyes quickly worked out that they were notes and scan pictures. He had a label on one of the paperclips that said Eleanor, and another that said Rosemary. (Y/n) knew Ben loved to collect pictures and mementoes, but she didn't know he had this particular box of memories.

Ben silently looked at some of the pictures before putting both piles back, along with the picture he took from his back pocket. The ultrasound from today.

"Memory box." He stated quietly, nudging it towards his wife to cure her curiosity since she seemed intrigued. (Y/n) gingerly took the box and slowly started looking through the scan pictures of Ellie. He even kept the piece of paper that had Ellie's hand and footprints in from when she had just been born. For being little over eight years old, each picture was kept in great condition, only one or two creases in the corners but other than that they looked almost brand new.

Carefully setting the pictures back in the box, (Y/n) handed it over to Ben who put it in the back of the drawer where he kept it.

"I know it isn't easy, if it's gonna upset you then don't ask." Ben kept his tone light and his words gentle. He didn't want to come across rude or uncaring because he knew this wasn't easy. If asking was just going to upset her then Ben didn't want her to ask. He would rather them act like each scan didn't happen or exist than have an awkward conversation about it afterwards.

"No, it's not easy. I don't know what I'm meant to do in this situation Ben... kids are a big thing for both of us and you're having another without me, it hurts."

The ratio was three to one to Ben. He was going to have three kids and (Y/n) had one because no matter how much she loved Ellie or Ben's next baby, they weren't her own like Rosie was. She didn't want to stand by and watch Ben have another child with someone else but she didn't want to leave him either because she loved him and Ellie too much. She was stuck not knowing what to do and that was a feeling that she didn't want because there was no answer to this. There was no guidebook to help either of them get through this.

"I don't have a plan, sweetheart. I'm married to you and having a baby with my ex, that isn't fun you know. I can't tell you how this will work or what to do because I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is this is another baby so I'm sorry if I smile every once in a while at the thought but that's how I get through this."

Ben didn't know what to do either. He didn't have all of this worked out, he had a plan for when the baby was born, that was the easy bit. Getting to that point was a blank slate for everyone and they were going to have to make their own way to the finish line. He couldn't tell (Y/n) what to do or how she could get through this.

He also couldn't help it if he came back from a scan with a small smile on his lips or a smile when he thought about his child because that was all he knew how to do. He thought of his children and the thought of having another and it made him smile. All he could grasp right now was that he was having another baby, it was so much easier when it was thought about in such a plain and boring way. Just another baby, not a baby to help Ellie, not a baby with Danni and not (Y/n). Just a baby.

"And I'm sorry if I can't smile with you about that. I hate this Ben, it hurts and I want you to be happy but that hurts worse." (Y/n) felt the tears welling in her eyes even though she was begging them not to fall.

"I have to do this for Ellie. I smile and grin and bear it because that's my mechanism. My drama teacher at uni tried to kick me out of his class when he knew I was having Ellie because he thought I'd be a failure, he told me to drop out and that I was a liability. Danni's parents almost disowned her and blamed me for that, my dad never looked at me in the same way again and all I can do is smile. You get angry and you cry and you have the right but all I can do is smile because this is for Ellie."

Ben had been in university one year before he had to tell his teachers of his situation. He was plainly told that he needed to drop out because he had another two years to go. He got a fail on one of his performances because he was 'lacking' and should just drop out then and there. It was his fault in Danni's parent's eyes. She was having a gap year and was going to go to university but then decided that she wouldn't since they were having Ellie. Ben's mother had been the supportive parent whilst his dad was far from happy but every time someone said something all Ben could do was bite back a sneer and plaster a smile to his features because that was all he knew how to do.

He didn't want to breakdown and cry, he didn't know what to do or how to plan for the future. All he could do was grin and nod like a puppet and it always worked.

Everything he did was for Ellie and this was no different.

[rox-the-proxy]

Arranged Lives

Based off of @superfluous-vanitas Tribes AU mixed with ARK: survival evolved and some of The Isle ideas/creatures and concepts. And it helps that I love anything TerraVan so their art on their AU gave me the idea to write this! Its nothing long, but I do hope you enjoy!

“Are you sure you’re okay with all of this?” Lea asked as he sat in front of his Allosaurus as he ran a wet brush over its rough skin. He turned his head to look at the raven haired male next to him who was leaning back on a rather large, white and gray colored Tyrannosaurus, though unlike many of the others of his same kind, not only is it much larger with more pronounced brow ridges, he also had armor like skin starting from the base of its neck all the way down to the tip of his tail. paired with a narrower muzzle, it was clear this T-Rex was genetically different and probably one of the very rare occurrences that happened in these parts of the grassy plains of their tribe’s territory. How had Vanitas gotten this creature and tame it was beyond Lea, but it worked in favor of their tribe when it came to the many times their tribe has gotten into territory fights with other neighboring tribes. In fact, the topic of their current conversation was on one of those said Neighboring tribes. “I mean, did Xehanort even ask? Or did he just throw this on ya?”

Vanitas sighed and that was all the red head needed to know that this agreement was suddenly thrown onto him verses being part of the conversations that lead to this agreement. “It’s not all that bad,” Vanitas stated as he ran his hand down his creature’s jaw as it let out what could be considered a low and deep grumbling purr of content, which was an odd sound to hear from a predator like that one. but their tribe were masters at taming predator type creatures. Small or big, it was just a matter of time and patience for each type of creature they managed to capture. Either way, back to the topic at hand, Lea was sure he felt more annoyed then Vanitas did but then again hes known the Tribe Leader’s adopted kid for as long as he can remember now. and he knew that Xehanort was putting forth the marriage of his kid to Tribe Leader Eraqus’ kid; Terra in order to put an end to the constant fights between their tribes and in order to expand territory as well. both tribes were fairly large, and combined together they would make one of only two large tribes that had once been two separate tribes as well. However, that didn’t mean that Lea agreed with it. while Vanitas had this…infatuation with Terra, Terra had no interest in Vanitas, however. While this arranged marriage was something Vanitas was more on bored with, Lea had heard that Terra had been very much against it, still was even.

Despite having finally agreed to the marriage, everyone knew that Terra was anything but pleased with this. But it was necessary to end the constant conflicts and to bring the dawn of a better age for both of their tribes. Terra saw it was mere business and necessity, Vanitas saw it like that and maybe an opportunity to maybe win the bigger male over. though, Lea had his serious doubts that this was all going to work out, considering the bad history between the two tribes. It was never personal for Vanitas, territory fights broke out more often then not and Van and his T-Rex only ever went out during those fights when Xehanort deemed it necessary. Which wasn’t often, but during the last battle, Vanitas had been called to the fight and when he brought along his T-Rex, a lot of the other tribe's men had gotten hurt or killed. It had been one of their more….aggressive battles. Terra had been present for that battle and he and Vanitas had a run in, while Terra and his own T-Rex had been ready to take the other two on, Vanitas had no intentions of fighting him, so instead of making the bloodshed worse, Vanitas took his leave. Xehanort had been furious beyond belief. Lea had been worried that his friend was going to be punished for his actions, but with a mutated T-Rex who was very over protective of him, he didn’t have to worry too much. “Its for the good of both Tribes. We are stronger and more efficient together then we are apart.” at the words of his friend, the read head rolled his eyes as he turned his gaze back to his own Dino, gently cleaning out bite wounds and lacerations on his neck from the pack of Raptors they had encountered earlier. “Is she gonna be okay?” Vanitas asked from his spot against his partner, the red head chuckled.

“Are you?” Lea asked, giving the raven a small smile. he watched as Vanitas looked down at the charm that had been gifted to him by his soon to be husband. It was out of tradition, the man had explained to Vanitas. Not because he actually liked him. to anyone, Vanitas just rushed the comment off and happily accepted the charm. But to Lea, Isa and anyone else who knew the raven as well as they did, knew that the comment stung. “Seriously, you gonna be okay? we could always still go with Isa’s and my plan.”

Vanitas laughed, shaking his head at that. Isa and Lea had come up with some overly complicated plan that involved them steal supplies and mounts from the Tribe stables and running away. Isa and Lea had their lives figured out, they technically didn’t need to stay with this tribe to survive. With Isa’s smarts and Lea’s uncanny way with the Allo species, they could easily have a pack of them in a week or two’s time before getting other Tribe members and eventually starting their own little familial group. Vanitas didn’t necessarily have that. he wasn’t…all that great with connecting with people, never had been for as long as he could remember. And that wasn’t much, a lot of his childhood was hazy, he had been told that he was taken in by this Tribe when they found him with this small, odd looking juvenile T-Rex. He was close to starving, covered in wounds that at the time and in the moment couldn’t be explained. When eh came to, he was in a more or less daze, so a lot of his time as a child before being taken in by Xehanort was unknown to him. but Lea and Isa had taken to the raven quickly as Xehanort often left Vanitas with them during his recovery period. Since his arrival, many of the other Tribe members found him strange ,a bad omen as it was when Vanitas was taken was when their Tribe leader became far less inclined to show mercury to their rival tribes. Many blamed Vanitas’ coming as a bad sign, the end of their Tribe. And it truly did seem like that up until this deal with Eraqus’ Tribe was met. “I’ll be fine. just gotta stay on his good side is all.” Lea rolled his eyes at the response, Vanitas couldn’t really blame his red-headed friend for it either. Lea had always tried to look out for him as best he and Isa could. Both more then willing to stand up for him against the many accusations of other Tribe members that Vanitas was a curse along with his Rex.

Lea had opened his mouth to respond to that half-assed reasoning but paused when his Allo lifted her head up suddenly along with Vanitas’ Rex. The two got to their feet quickly but calmed down at the sight of Isa, Tribe leader Xehanort, Tribe Leader Eraqus and Terra walking their way. Lea was quick to bow to the two Tribe leaders as was Vanitas. “Afternoon Tribe Leaders,” Lea greeted with a forced but polite smile, the red-head was never good with authority and Vanitas swore he was going to get himself killed one of these days. Both males then stood straight again as Lea snapped his fingers at his Allo who stood on her feet, shaking her body as if to loosen her muscles. “I’m going to safely assume you all wish to speak to Vanitas and Terra privately, so Isa, Ally and myself will take our leave. We’ll catch you at the Dinner hunt, Vani.” The red head said waving to his friend who nodded slowly. He waved a silent goodbye to his two long time and only friends as they started to walk away with Ally following her rider. With his friend gone, Vanitas felt a hundred times more nervous then he had the moment his golden colored eyes had landed the group. He cleared his throat and turned his attention to the other three.

“Afternoon Tribe Leaders, Terra,” he greeted, with a slight inline of his head. “To what do I owe this unexpected visit?” Xehanort huffed, walking up to the boy as he placed a hand on his shoulder. For a moment, Vanitas had to stare at this Rex who opened a red colored eye after he had laid his head back down and closed them. but the moment the man who took him in had placed a hand on him, this earned a low, deep, but threatening growl from the Rex. Vanitas gave the group a sheepish smile as he turned to face the mutated predator. “Shhh, easy boy. What’s got you riled?” he asked softly, as he ran his hands down the creature’s jaws and over his muzzle. “Apologies-“

“There is no need to fret, young Vanitas. We are simply here to suggest that perhaps you and Terra here go out for a while on your own. Talk to each other. With your mounts of course. Xehanort and I believed it would be good for you to spend some more time together before the ceremonial day. As once that day comes you both will be far to busy getting ready to even have time to say good morning to one another.” Eraqus cut in with his usual calm and soothing tone. Honestly, talking to him was less stressful then talking to Xehanort who had been the man to save his life so many years ago. To tell the truth, he enjoyed talking to Eraqus more then he did talking to Xehanort. Though he would never admit that to Xehanort’s face. “That, and it will give you both time to talk about certain topics, and what you two will be doing once your both married. You can both live here, or back where our tribe is located. You cant take all the time you need until your hunting group goes out.” He explained looking to Vanitas who nodded wordlessly. He gave him and Terra a reassuring smile.

Vanitas watched as Eraqus leaned in close to Terra and whispered something in his ear which got the blue eyed man to blush darkly and look away, the tribe leader only laughed. Vanitas jumped when eh felt his own tribe leader lean down and whisper in his own ear. “Do try to be civil and not ruin this for the tribe.” Was the only warning he got before he started to follow his old time friend. Once gone, Vanitas sighed, relaxing now that the two tribe leaders were gone. An awkward silence fell over him and Terra. It wasn’t like they had much in common and it wasn’t like his own Rex was anything like Terra’s. for a moment, Vanitas refused to look at the bigger man, he focused on petting his mount who was letting out low rumbling purrs of content.

“So…what is up with your Rex anyway?” Terra asked, being the one to finally break the silence. Vanitas looked at him a bit confused by the question, but he looked up at Terra’s Rex, a female with black and red coloring on her body. she was larger then the average T-Rex, but she was nowhere near the size of his own. But then again it wasn’t like his Rex was exactly normal, no one quite knew why his mount was so large, temperamental or looked so weird, but most assumed it was due to a genetic mutation. How had the mutation happened and could have caused it, no one had a clue. But his had been with him all his life, or for as long as he could remember. Vanitas shook his head quickly as he focused back on the man’s question.

“With the growling? He isn't a fan of Tribe Leader Xehanort. Not that blame him but-“

“I meant why is he so…” Terra made a vague motion with his hands, gesturing to the entire creature who was at this point merely watching the two as they spoke. “Why dose he look so strange. What’s his story?” at that, Vanitas laughed and shrugged.

“I only remember waking up with him at my side. I don’t remember how I got him or how I even got here. but he’s no older then I believe it or not.” Vanitas looked up at the male and was met with the sight of Terra looking more then a little confused by his words. that’s when he remembered that only his Tribe knew that he wasn’t originally from this Tribe. He had forgotten that Terra and Eraqus didn’t know, and now that he said that, he wondered if he had just screwed this entire ceremony over. Terra must have noticed his worry of him taking a seat next to him and placing a hand on his lower back in a comforting manner was anything to go by. “I- uh…” he trailed off, finding himself overwhelmed with nerves. He cleared his throat and kept his eyes locked onto his Mount’s face. “I was found by Tribe Leader Xehanort years ago. I was starving and hurt pretty bad. that first year or two with him during my recovery period are hazy at best. So I don’t remember much. But Hypo here has always been there with me. Hes not even fully grown yet, or so we think anyway.” The raven shrugged as he smiled at his mount who let out a long yawn, lifting his head and shaking it for a moment. “We aren’t sure why he looks the way he does either. but we assume it’s because of a genetic mutation. But its all assumptions.”

Terra nodded falling silent again. despite everything, and Vanitas wasn’t someone who clearly was a bad person, but many of his tribe members had been killed or wounded due to that Rex that Vanitas had. Of course, it wasn’t all of his own fault either. Vanitas’ tribe were excerpts when it came to combat and fighting with predator Creatures. So any tribe that went head on against his were often cashed away covered in blood and carrying the bodies of their fallen warriors. The last battle his and Vanitas’ Tribe had it ended in far more death then many of their other battles had ever ended in. and when Terra and his Rex; Ash had confronted Vanitas and Hypo he was shocked when the raven had gone several shades paler then usual, turned tail and ran instead of standing his ground. Neither Tribe won that day after Vanitas ran. Both Tribes were shocked by this and ended the fight almost as soon as it started, each going back home to lick their wounds and treat their wounded, as well as put their dead to rest. That’s when Terra had started to think about Vanitas a lot more, there had always been something strange but interesting about him. part of him had even wanted to take a chance to just sneak off to speak to him. however, that was dashed and pushed aside when Xehanort came to their village, offering an agreement that could lead to both of their tribe benefiting. At first he had been excited to hear what the man had to say, but that excitement turned to shock when he said he was willing to offer up his son; Vanitas for marriage to him so that their Tribes would unit and the fighting would not only end but it would mean both territories would be shared and thus making life for each tribe so much easier. Terra was not happy that he was basically being offered Vanitas as a bargaining chip. What was even worse was that his own father had agreed to it.

He wouldn’t have been so angry if he had a say in it. its not like he would have said no, after all, it would make life easier for their people. And then his friends; Aqua and Ventus wouldn’t have to risk their lives so much when they went out to hunt or help gather food. He would have been willing to accept it if he had just been included in these talks. He was all for doing what was necessary to help his tribe, especially if it made their lives easier and meant they wouldn’t be getting slaughtered anymore. But that hadn’t been the case here, he had just been thrown into this agreement and without so much as a word said to him until only a few weeks ago. since then, he and Vantias had met more often then ever before, these meetings weren’t pleasant during that time, he was mad, angry. and it showed in the way he came off as professional as possible and just cold when he spoke to Vanitas. Hell, even when he craved the wooden charm that would traditionally be given to the women in his Tribe, but it could easily be worn by men as well, but either way when he carved the charm and gave it to Vantias he had said it was only due to tradition, nothing more and nothing less. Outwardly, Vanitas accepted it with grace. But when he looked at the raven in the eyes, he saw hurt, sadness. It shot a pang of guilt into his chest. So, on that day he had told himself that he would try to be a little nicer to him. it didn’t work over night, but he was warming up to the raven slowly.  Today had been one of the few times he and Vanitas were left alone to talk and like always it was always weird, but Terra knew it was due to him coming off so cold and harsh with the other male who also had no say in this entire thing. When he looked at the golden eyed male he saw him looking down at the charm, holding it between his fingers as they sat in silence.

“I know you must be disappointed in the match up,” Vanitas started saying, looking at him as he started speaking, his fingers tightening on the wooden charm. “But if it’s any consolation….i’m not disappointed.”

Terra blushed darkly, and it didn’t help that the raven had his own blush on his face as well. Terra couldn’t help but smile and chuckle slightly. maybe this marriage wouldn’t be so bad after all.

[holden-norgorov]

A seriously angry recap of all the things I hated in the finale.

Because I had to write down all the disappointment and outrage that I have inside, otherwise it will consume me until I die. I had to give vent to everything that disgusted me in a less-detatched, more personal way than the unemotional one my objective thoughts usually are expressed with. If you want to read highly pissed-off complaints for healing purposes, this is your post. 

Implying that discovering that your mother is also your step-sister is a more validating reason to commit murder than being yourself a victim of physical and psychological abuses for years during your childhood. Offensive, short-sighted, self-erasing. By suggesting that Wolfgang killed his father and uncle out of this revelation, the writers nullified the character’s self-worth, depth and integrity.

“I’m not worth it”. “Wolfgang, you are!” It turned out he wasn’t worth it at all because things didn’t change. Nobody had any kind of conversation and the result was that Kala was portrayed as happy staying in the loveless, unhealthy marriage she was already in and that Wolfgang kept being the “lover” who wasn’t worth being chosen. Rajan became suddenly so important that an entire two-seasonal storyline of the most epic love story of all time had to be thrown out of the window just to please him? Who the fuck cared about him? He was selfish and sexist for two seasons, and a lame, uninteresting character with no personality beyond being a kiss-ass.

Capheus being a clown for all the episode irritated the fuck out of me. He had always been particularly joyful, but 1) not at this ridiculous, over-the-top level, and especially 2) not under these circumstances. This is war. They are all risking their lives and could be found and killed in any seconds. He is risking his whole political career and has left all his loved ones home alone. One of his clustermates is imprisoned in a BPO facility and likely being tortured. This is possibly the worst you could get: this episode was not meant to feature lighthearted, careless people joking around and being idiotic. His behavior is completely inappropriate and disrespectful of the situation. Someone with a brain, in those circumstances, would have slapped him in the face. What the fuck.

Nomanita getting an entire scene exclusively used to provide a last-minute backstory capable of justifying Lana’s selfish decision of taking Paris from Kalagang and giving it to them out of nowhere and with no apparent reason. I am so mad about this, it almost seems deliberate from Lana. Paris was a turning point for Kalagang, a pivotal moment that represented their first and only chance in all the show to be finally happy and together. Nomanita already had it all. Nomanita have always been the healthiest, happiest couple. They could have married literally anywhere else and it would have changed nothing in their relationship, because they had already had 24 episodes of domestic and happy moments. Why Paris of all cities? This was an intentional betrayal to Kalagang fans and storyline.

Lito’s freak-out about the carbs is beyond any fucking comment. It vividly looks like they all are on camping, or taking a funny, enjoyable trip. The writers should be ashamed of themselves for cheapening such a beautiful show and such wonderful characters with stupid moments like this and so many others (such as: Nomi’s coffee moment, Wolfgang jokingly pointing the rocket launcher on Capheus, Rajan asking Kala to teach him to use a gun as if they were not in a dangerous, life-or-death situation but just having fun, Puck with Sun’s hair and so on: there are a lot).

Sun and Mun being OOC as fuck and acting as if they were old acquaintances was just ridiculous and forced to an exponential level. This is entirely the writers’ fault and has nothing to do with time constraints, because the writing was just cheap and the characters unrecognizable. They had only met twice before this phone call (and both times by mistake). Sun here was weirdly intimate and emotively open despite having been closed and guarded of her interiority for two seasons sometimes even with her other selves. Mun was the very definition of cringe. “I think those two words might have made getting shot worth it.” Give me a fucking break. Who are these people? And don’t even get me started on the inconsistency with the line “I am not very good with words” that goes directly against the very reason why Sun was interested in him in the first place (i.e. the passionate way he talked about her to her teacher and the cautious but accurate analysis he provided of her psychology while fighting in the graveyard). Here they were odd and extremely cliché to the point of contrasting with their very essence.

Capheus greeting Rajan in that way was so wrong and insulting both to attentive viewers and to all the people in this world unable to obtain proper medications for themselves or their loved ones. It disregarded and destroyed everything about Capheus’ character and almost made me vomit. Rajan embodied all the socially powerful people directly responsible for Shiro’s improved sickness that almost caused her death in S1. Rajan’s unethical business was the very reason why Capheus had to be involved with Silas Kabaka in the first place, resulting in all his S1 storyline that almost led him to his death. Do any of you remember Capheus and Kala’s expressions when Rajan revealed this? Both of them had never been so hurt and incredulous during all the show. Capheus’ blind forgiveness of someone who was the ultimate reason of one entire season of his suffering and fighting for survival left me utterly speechless and offended. The writers turned all of this into a joke, especially considering Capheus storyline in S2: he had decided to politically represent his country, his own people, exactly because of the injustices they had to face on a daily basis because of poverty and unfair hierarchy. Welcoming Rajan, the symbol of this hierarchy that basically made his whole life a living hell, in that way was incredibly unbelievable. I was seriously shocked by this.

Kala’s behavior when Rajan arrives in Paris can be explained only in two ways: a) either she was on drugs all the time, which means she was capable of making them using her knowledge as chemist and then taking them because she was so desperate for Wolfgang that she wanted to be high, or b) she was just under a love spell. These are the only explanations to the way she behaves here; in both cases, she clearly wasn’t herself. Logic, continuity and coherence were all non-existent. The facts: Kala had made promises to Wolfgang both in 2x10 and 2x11 and the only reason why she hadn’t explained things to Rajan yet was that he had shut her off and sent her away without giving her the opportunity to do so. But her mind was crystal-clear and she was finally ready (in fact, her entire storyline had been built in order to make her brave enough to finally make this decision). But in here, she betrayed every promise she had made to Wolfgang and basically became a lying coward, erasing all the character development she had been through. She acted as a bitch. This confrontation was unavoidable at this point. She let Rajan believe that the real problem in their marriage was her nature as a sensate, which actually has never been a source of conflict at all (she didn’t want to marry Rajan even before realizing what she was). I wanted to slap her for how she acted in this whole episode. She also really felt under a love spell because for 23 episodes she had never spontaneously kissed Rajan before out of sincere will. In 1x02, Rajan kissed her and she didn’t even return the kiss (the only reason why she didn’t break it was that they were at their engagement party and it would have been highly inappropriate); in 2x01 she kissed him out of pity and guilt because she felt responsible for breaking his dick and ruining their honeymoon. And that was it. So, witnessing her starting a kiss to a man she spent two seasons being uncomfortable with (especially physically) and feeling objectified by felt really wrong and unexpected and utterly unreasonable. She seriously looked like she was on drugs, I was in disbelief.

Aunt Kirsty overtaking a whole team of BPO soldiers supposedly using her unknown superpower ninja abilities was so ridiculous and cheap that it was like the writers themselves wanted to prove us that they could do everything they wanted and ruin all the show’s credibility as they pleased. Seriously what the fuck was that. Sense8 became a cartoon for kids and we didn’t know? God.

The complete lack of Wolfgang’s PTSD was absolutely unforgivable and unrealistic. We are talking about a man who spent all of his life building several walls to protect himself from the outside, trying to keep everyone at distance exactly because of the traumas he experienced since childhood that he couldn’t recover from. He has always been emotionally secretive and unavailable to everyone except Kala (and she took two seasons of serious efforts to make him finally open up and expose himself). He was tortured daily several times when he was under BPO’s captivity: he had and needed to show both physical and psychological scars in the aftermath. PTSD was a natural response that inevitably had to happen and be shown both for credibility and for a matter of character’s coherence and integrity. Wolfgang being rescued from this severely traumatizing condition and not showing the slightest consequence of it was beyond idiotic. And worse: from that moment he actually started acting more carefree and behaving in the exact opposite way than the one that should logically be expected from someone with his personality going through an experience like that. He started joking around and taking everything lightly and in a more emotionally invested way than he had ever done even before this imprisonment. It was like watching a fairy tale of stupid bullshit. What a fucking mess.

Rajan’s evident privileged treatment from the writers was so obvious and cheap that it ended up being nausea-inducing. He was literally everywhere and for no reason at all since he had no abilities. In the club, he is the only sapiens being close to the physical exchange. Why on this planet should this be safe or acceptable or even convenient since he is incapable of doing anything? Every other non-sensate was far away, even members of the Cluster such as Lito who could have been useful through sharing. Instead Rajan was on the front. Ok. And the idea that Wolfgang, a taciturn man who spent two seasons being jealous of Rajan, would spontaneously approach him and thank him for doing absolutely nothing is hilarious. Rajan didn’t save Wolfgang. Kala was the one who intervened to prevent Lila from shooting him. Rajan stepped in only to save Kala and was able to steal Lila’s gun just because she was already being attacked. And as soon as that happened, she took the gun back because Rajan obviously didn’t have a clue on what he was doing (which is acceptable, because he just wasn’t suitable for that situation: the mistake was including him there in the first place). Daniela herself had been previously shown to be comfortable in using a gun. Why not exposing her to the physical place of the exchange instead of Rajan? I seriously don’t get it. Which advantage could Rajan provide to the situation? The writers were so transparent. The same can be said with the Napoli’s scene. Rajan is the only sapiens entering the camorra building without any reason or combat skill. WHY. Not only he is untrained and incapable, but he also doesn’t even know the plan (Kala has to explain it to him while already inside and targeted by enemies!). It’s like they did everything in their power to include Rajan everywhere and let him be some kind of saver or hero that he clearly is not. The writing was insulting. Rajan mistakes a taser for a gun but then uses that same taser to save Kala’s life? How stupid do the writers think we are, exactly? Not to mention that Wolfgang being unable to treat Kala’s stomach wound was completely OOC, but then again, Kala and Wolfgang were both RAPED as characters in every way possible in this episode. Wolfgang was able to canonically treat a much worse wound when Felix was almost killed despite being in evident pain. This was all ridiculous. And what about Lila shooting Kala in the stomach? In this very episode she was able to shoot dead five people at a great distance without even trying when stealing Whispers. She was a hired gun, and here Kala was literally in front of her. Nothing in this scene makes the slightest sense, I swear.

The scene where Will asked where Sun was, as if he wasn’t able to mentally connect with her was absurd. And Nomi actually taking five minutes to visit her was just a cheap way for the Sun x Mun exchange to happen and was incoherent. “I found Sun” doesn’t make sense because they are telepathically connected and Nomi shouldn’t need to find her. Cheapness for everyone.

Kala spontaneously kissing Rajan again when she finally has the occasion to physically be with the love of her life after he was tortured and nearly killed is probably the most absurd and embarrassing moment I have ever seen in television. It’s beyond any rational comment at this point. I was about to throw something at my screen. And Wolfgang accepting this despite probably believing that Kala and Rajan had already talked things through was incoherent, unthinkable and hysterical. WHO-ARE-THESE-CHARACTERS. This moment destroyed me more than I can convey with words. It was a betrayal to two seasons of marvelous Kalagang growth and development. I could ramble about how much I hate this moment for pages, but I already wrote a post about it and it would be better for me not to stop too much on this because it literally broke my heart and enraged me more than anything else ever did. Kala and Wolfgang were entirely different characters.

Jonas and the Mother talking like walking encyclopedias contrast so heavily with the cheap writing of the episode that their scenes end up being really laughable and impossible to be taken seriously.

The song sequence was completely useless, pure fanservice garbage that stole real usable time that was very much needed since many storylines were left entirely open without justifications. The “What’s Up” moment in 1x04 became iconic because it conveyed a precise message that was the core of all the show, was a set up for everything that came after and had also the purpose to show the ability of each character to connect all together for the first time. Instead, the song sequence in this episode was obviously insert only because the first one really gained a huge success in the fandom and they simply wanted to reply it for fanservice purposes. But this was entirely pointless and the very definition of a waste of time. The characters felt very much like the actors themselves goofing around, and there were also completely avoidable coherence mistakes (Felix and Rajan on the train) that cheapened the already-compromised credibility of it all. The editing of all the episode was bad, especially in this scene.

Other time gets wasted showing characters eating pizza without a tie to the plot or anything at all. Were the writers deliberately trying to make the worst choices possible? They basically did everything wrong and handled the time horribly.

I already talked about the bullet scene, but Kala being able to visit Wolfgang while unconscious was another cheap mistake. I’m particularly angry because for 23 episodes Sense8 was able to be almost flawless in coherence, but this episode is just a giant mess. This moment is OOC and simply wrong on every aspect, and who wrote it surely must have been a stranger to the show.

The last half-hour of the Special is so weird. It’s like the writers suddenly forgot that the main characters are sensates. Will asking Kala what she wants was another ridiculous moment that was so incoherent with their scene in 2x08 that I seriously considered this to be an intentional way for the writers to let us know that they willingly fucked up with Kalagang. The main peculiarity of their interaction in 2x08 was that Will was able to read Kala’s emotions without asking and state out loud what she was afraid to admit to herself: that she loved someone else. Their interaction in 2x08 was based on clarifying that Kala was not suffering from a feeling indecision but a morality struggle, and that Will exactly knew what she wanted. Their moment in 2x12 disregards everything about it. Will acts like he doesn’t already know what she feels and asks her questions as if he couldn’t read her emotions, and Kala is supposed to show signs of romantic indecisiveness despite her troubles were never feelings-related? In 2x08 Kala couldn’t stop talking haphazardly (as she always does when concerned about something) and here she just silently shrugs? This moment is beyond laughable and goes against everything established before, and the characters are frankly unrecognizable.

It’s unbelievable the idea that two whole seasons of perfect Kalagang development led to a conclusion where Kala holds hands with Rajan and Wolfgang sits behind them as a complete stranger. It feels like a nightmare. I am homicidal about this. They really destroyed them, both as a couple and individual characters.

 Amanita clearly states in 1x07 that she is afraid of and hates fireworks because they symbolize war and are a failure. So why is she perfectly happy here when they are used during her own wedding? It wasn’t that hard not to be OOC. The writers really wanted to discredit the canon in every way, I’m incredulous.

The conclusive physical, actual orgy which includes also non-sensate characters sends a horrible message. First, it goes completely against the symbolical meaning of the previous orgies (which were meant to show the sensates’ ability to share sexual arousal every time someone in the Cluster was having actual sex; it was nothing physical or carnal but purely abstract and metaphorical). Second, it’s highly offensive to asexual people, because sex is conceived here as the highest expression of love and the only way to resolve untouched confrontations (instead of having actual conversations). Third, it provides sexual erasure to Lito (canonically gay), Nomi (canonically lesbian) and Kala (canonically demisexual). Fourth, it goes against the well-praised theme of inclusivity and diversity of the show because everyone at the end turns out to be the same (pansexual), thus erasing every single representation provided in the previous episodes. Fifth, it portrays an unfair and insulting view on how sexuality actually works. The idea of a man — whose entire storyline is built around the fact that he is completely, exclusively gay and couldn’t manage to even fake a relationship with a woman — willing to have sex out of the blue with someone of the opposite sex is gross and actually sick. Sexuality is highly intimate and personal: it’s not about open-mindedness, but about self-comfort. It’s disrespectful to think that a gay man would be okay to get laid with a woman, because he just is by nature not comfortable in that situation. I am a straight guy and I could never picture myself with another man, it would make me unhealthily uncomfortable with myself. This applies to everyone’s very own sexuality. The same can be said for Kala, who here is depicted as a promiscuous woman willing to share her body with the very same man who she couldn’t bring herself to feel comfortable with for two seasons. Kala was a very moral person described as demi-sexual and she could only be comfortable in a sexual scenario with Wolfgang because they are sensates and their level of trust and connection is unparalleled. If Wolfgang and Kala hadn’t been sensates inside each other’s heads and feelings, Kala would have never slept with him: she needed that kind of intimacy and closeness to open up sexually. The Kala who pulls Rajan down and gets almost hungry of being used as a sex object here is not the usual Kala from the first 23 episodes, it’s another character entirely who sends a conservative and sexist unacceptable message.

Wolfgang’s sudden bisexuality is not representation, nor something to be proud of: it’s just an offensive, out-of-nowhere twist created only for shock value. One of the first traits that we understand about him in the show is that in order to avoid opening up emotionally, he constantly sleeps around with women only. This is canonically confirmed in two occasions: first, in 1x04, when he and Felix talk about their teenager adventures, nothing is mentioned about them being open to relationships with other boys (and if Wolfgang had been bisexual, it would have surely been pointed out in this moment); second, in 2x01, we canonically see him picking up girls using a date-app which features women only. This highly indicates that he is not into men, because if he was, he wouldn’t hide it at all. Also, if he had really been sexually attracted to men, he would have surely fallen for Felix because of how close they are, and this didn’t happen. This is not to say that sexuality is permanent or unaffected by change. But if Wolfgang’s character arc had really been about a sexuality struggle, an appropriate path of self-discovery should have been shown and developed carefully. People just don’t wake up and decide to change sexual orientation out of the blue. These things require internal process and self-questioning. This sudden twist is a joke to people who really have to face a complex self-examination in order to understand whether their sexuality is changing or evolving.  

Wolfgang touching Rajan’s lips before kissing him is a slap on the face of Kalagang’s fans because that was THEIR intimate gesture, and theirs alone. 

Wolfgang and Rajan barely know each other. Wolfgang would NEVER perform that private gesture with anyone but Kala, and the idea that he would make love to her with her husband included is pure nuts. This was the ultimate bullshit from the writers who managed to annihilate everything about Kalagang. It’s almost as if Lana had personal reasons to sabotage them in every way possible, because the result is just too heavy-handed and transparent not to be intentional. I seriously hope that she didn’t feel the need to ruin them just because they are a straight couple, because that would make her discriminatory and petty as fuck. This moment was seriously unwatchable and unbearable. I don’t have the proper words to describe the utter disgust I really experienced.  

[tommyhagen]

5% of a Fairytale: Clint Barton, Team Dad pt1

@taylortut, lol this one sort of just got away from me. Hope you don’t mind long prompt fills. I can pretty much promise they won’t usually be this long but I’d actually had the plot to this scene in mind for a long time. It’ll probably end up having to be more than one part. Hope you like it!!

Clint takes care of his sick bro and partner in douchebaggery, Tony. A retelling of the scene from Civil War including some canon dialogue. Seriously watch that scene again and tell me Tony isn’t trying not to throw up the entire time. You can’t.

Couldn’t help but make reference to Charles and Tony being best friends.

I don’t write deaf! Clint because I don’t think I could portray the struggles of a hearing impaired person with the accuracy it deserves. But he has ear issues that make him sensitive to loud noises but he puts his own discomfort aside when someone needs a dad.

TW: Vomit, Nausea, Dizzy Spells, Brief Nondescript Mention Of Death, Embarassing Situations

——————————————————-

Sam and Rhodey had been arguing for hours now. Or at least it felt like hours. Tony had only been catching every other word, anyway.

His head was pounding and the constant bickering had done nothing to help it. He was slumped back on a couch in one of the common areas next to Steve. He knew he wasn’t doing a great job acting like he didn’t need to be benched but he couldn’t help it. This on top of the meeting with the secretary? He didn’t think he could keep this up much longer.

That had been a disaster all on it’s own too. Tony hadn’t even reacted when the Secretary spouted off all his bullshit about the Avengers not caring. At the footage of New York he just looked away. When Steve commented on his unusual silence he’d just murmured something about the asshole not being worth his time. While that was true it was even more true that if Tony opened his mouth he might have thrown up. It still was, actually, and the stress was not helping. Steve picking up the scent of his Omega’s distress slipped an arm around his shoulders. A rare display of affection during ‘business hours’. Even rarer that Tony accepted it, leaning against him.

“Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor which is one more than you have.”, Rhodey retorted to Sam’s...something.

Maybe if Tony just ignored this all hard enough it would go away. Seemed to be what the others were doing. Vision and Wanda sat huddled together on the opposite couch. Natasha had been pacing the room nonstop and it made Tony dizzy to look at her. Clint was perched on the counter of the kitchenette. The obnoxious music from whatever game he was playing on his phone was only making Tony’s headache worse.

Tony rubbed at his temples and pressed himself tighter against his Alpha. Tony’s mouth was watering ominously. Steve rubbed a thumb along his bicep distractedly, reading the Accords and not happy with them by the acrid prickle of growing anger on his scent. Tony had always hated that and the scent of it now had him clamping a hand to his mouth. This was probably the literal worst time in the world to not be at his A game.

“So let’s say we agree to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?”, Sam shot back.

And what the fuck had Tony passed out and not realized it? LoJack? Was this even the same conversation?! Ugh, he couldn’t keep up. Whatever. He just had to get through this so that he could go lay down and sleep for a year. Whatever bug he’d caught was draining him. He woke up more tired than when he went to sleep.

“117 countries want us to sign this. 177, Sam, and you’re just like ‘Nah, it’s cool we got this’.”, Rhodey snapped. If Tony didn’t feel like there was a vice grip around his stomach he’d be smiling. He loved it when his Honeybear got feisty.

“How long are you going to keep playing both sides-“

“I have an equation!”, Vision cut him off.

Loudly. So loudly it startled Tony. At that, Steve’s hand stroking his arm slipped down to hold Tony’s reassuringly. He didn’t need any reassuring but Steve’s warmth was grounding and he clung to it like a lifeline. It helped, sort of. Well, he could vaguely follow the conversation now, at least.

“Oh, this’ll clear it up.”, Sam groaned.

Tony shot a nasty glance at him over his shoulder. Tony had created that beautiful mind of Vision’s so, yes, it would clear it up thank you very fucking much.

Vision ignored him, as always sensing the mood and responding accordingly. He continued, “In the eight years since Tony announced himself as Iron Man the number of enhanced persons has grown exponentially. During the same period the number of possibly world-ending incidents has risen at a commensurate rate.”

Steve set the Accords down beside him. His grip on Tony’s hand tightened. “Are you saying it’s Tony’s- our- fault?”, he growled, Alpha pheromones beginning to leak off him.

It took Tony much too long to notice that everyone was looking at him. Shit, that name was his name! So he was going to have to get involved in this no matter what. His hands were going numb and it felt like his feet were nothing but pins and needles. “Down, boy.”, he murmured to Steve. His voice must have portrayed at least a little of the hell he was in because Steve actually relaxed, picking the Accords up again and pretending to read them. His eyes never left the same paragraph.

“I’m saying there may be a causality.”, Vision clarified, but even he was starting to sound annoyed.

Tony desperately wished he were sitting next to him instead. Vi’s lack of scent would be so good right now. Tony was choking on all the wigged out distress hormones going around. He had to swallow back a sick hiccup. God, if he didn’t do something he really was going to throw up. He tried to bury his face against Steve’s shoulder as surreptitiously as he could. It hadn’t worked. Steve abandoned the Accords and pulled Tony closer to him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Oh, God, Steve’s worry, although sweet, was just adding to the already stifling mix of scents.

“Our very strength invites challenge.”, Vision elaborated. How very philosophical. Tony couldn’t deal with that right now and closed his eyes leaning into Steve’s heat. “Challenge inflicts conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe.”

Tony choked at how similar he sounded to Ultron and broke into a series of wet coughs. Steve was asking him all kinds of questions along the lines of how he could help and it was just making Tony’s head spin. He waved Steve off desperately.

“Oversight...oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.”, he suggested. All Tony could take from that was that Vi was in favor. Of course he was. Part of him was Tony, after all.

“Boom.”, Rhodey agreed.

Natasha stopped her pacing in front of him. Thank god. “Tony”, she called. “Are you okay? You’re being uncharacteristically nonverbal.” Fuck. Now Tony had two Alphas fussing over him. The combination of Female Alpha and Male Alpha was not good. Tony gagged softly into his fist.

“It’s because he’s already made up his mind.”, Steve realized and the scent of his worry was just getting stronger. Tony had to get away from him.

He stood up and made his way more shakily than he would have liked to to the kitchenette. He had made up his mind, yes. The best solution was obvious but mainly he just felt too much like vomiting to participate. Maybe if he got something to drink? There was a bad taste at the back of his tongue.

Clint was watching him closely from atop the counter. He’d also been uncharacteristically ‘nonverbal’. When push came to shove with Avengers politics he usually just tried to stay out of the way. His only real opinion one way or another was that he was in favor of whatever got him home to his wife and kids safely. It startled Tony into nearly dropping a glass when Clint put down the phone with a soft, “Hey, Tony.”

Tony met his eyes slowly and wasn’t quite prepared for the warmth there. There was something about them that seemed far too knowing for Tony’s taste. He backed away slightly not knowing what from. Because as far as everyone in the immediate vicinity went, Clint was one of the ones he wanted to back away from the least. Clint was a Beta. His scent was comforting and good.

Clint hopped down from the counter and took the glass from Tony’s hands. “Here.”, Clint soothed and poured some water for Tony before handing it back.

Tony was far too out of it to question why a jackass- but a lovable one- like Clint was being so gentle. He took a long sip to try and drown the bile he felt creeping up his throat. It helped. “Boy, you know me so well.”, Tony said to Steve. He even tried for a casual lean and pulled it off. “Actually I’m nursing an electromagnetic headache.”, he revealed and gave Clint, whose phone was still chiming away, a look.

Surprisingly, Clint turned it off without a word, slipping it into his back pocket. He was hovering and Clint didn’t do that. If Tony weren’t relying on his scent to keep it together he’d have said something about it.

“That’s what’s going on, guys. It’s just pain.”, he snapped, finally starting to lose his temper at the scrutinization they were putting him under. What the fuck?! If Tony wanted to be quiet he could! “It’s discomfort.”.

Tony turned to lean against the sink. The urge to vomit was becoming a little too overwhelming for him not to have some sort of plan. God, he hoped it didn’t come to that. He took a suspiciously long sip of the water. “Who’s putting coffee grounds in the disposal?”, he forced himself to ask, doing his best to bullshit and ramble like normal. “Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?”, he tried to joke. He had to take another long sip right after, losing any hint of nonchalance it might have had. They knew he was just talking to talk now.

“Hey.”, Clint tried again, hand at the small of Tony’s back.

Steve glared at him for it and Tony couldn’t tell if it was Steve’s scent or his attitude that was making him feel sick anymore. He moaned softly and his hand slipped down to his stomach. It wasn’t going to help but Tony had to do something to at least FEEL like he had control whatsoever over this.

Tony just had to force himself to be invested. Ignoring Clint, he pulled out his phone and projected the picture of the son of the woman from the State Department. He sighed...another Charles who he had let get hurt. “Oh, that’s Charles Spencer, by the way. Great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA had a floor level gig planned at Intel lined up for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked it behind a desk. See the world.”.

Tony had to stop to gag. And everyone had definitely heard that. Steve was on his feet in seconds and Clint caught hold of his elbow. Tony pushed him weakly off before continuing, “Maybe be of service. Charlie didn’t want to go to Vegas or Amsterdam which is what I would do. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where. Sokovia. He wanted to make a difference, I guess. But we won’t know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass.”. Tony could barely get through the words. From frustration or sickness he didn’t know but he was crying.

[theloobrush]

Religion and the Double Life

Evangelicalism is a noisy, ‘in your face’ and proselytising version of  Protestant Christianity that’s also religiously and socially conservative (and In the U.S. politically conservative too). They are not traditionalist in the sense of only enjoying BBC Radio Four and old cathedrals.  Evangelical conservatism takes its cues from an even more ancient past, guided entirely by scripture, seemingly a rather hotchpotch and discordant library of writings penned between 800 BCE and 100 CE. Because the beliefs of Bronze Age Nomads are entirely relevant for today. 

The average Evangelical was born into it. Less likely, you were converted. This  rant is really directed at the cultural evangelicals. Second, Third and Fourth generation who are going through the motions because their parents and grandparents first believed then felt obliged to indoctrinate them.  Not everyone gives up church as soon as they became teenagers. Because church can sometimes be a cosy social club.  And giving up your faith can cause both an existential crisis and the experience of suddenly finding yourself ‘Billy no mates’. 

On the other hand staying evangelical puts you right on the front line of cultural conflict. Evangelicals are constantly warned by their church that they live in a big bad world where everyone is a sinner. Where everyone probably  wants to persecute you. Where Satan reigns and wants your soul.  Evangelicals are told they have been saved to create an exclusive world within a world, and a life time of working out ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ relying on scrupulous biblical study. The expectation is a life of prayer, of  regularly reading and trusting the bible, obeying the ten commandments, and involving them in a demanding list of church based activities that means spending most of their social life with fellow believers with their own subculture.

As for the rest of us, they are taught to  love the sinner but not the sin. This turns out to  practically impossible when your co-workers are strangely unrepentant about being themselves. Relationships with non evangelicals are even more artificial  and strained because the evangelical is expected to  try to convert any non believers or at the very least get them to attend their church to be preached at.  

You’d think that with such apparently world denying beliefs evangelicals would have tried to cocoon themselves from the world like the Amish. Only the most extreme fundamentalists try to ‘socially distance’* their members from the rest of society.  The church elders are not going to go out of their way to provide a paid job or conveniently arrange a spouse for you. The evangelical is still expected to get a normal education, to abide by the protestant work ethic and make their way in their capitalist-consumerist society. The average evangelical does not consider pursuing a career and money to be evil. You will never be expected to avoid mammon altogether or engage in any form of asceticism, or adopt any monkish habits or purely religious vocations.  They by and large don’t even ‘do’ Lent. They may be asked to tithe - donate - a portion of their income to the church.

Thrown into the world by the very people who insist you must remain somehow aloof from it, evangelicals are required to filter out the bad of modern life from the good, without compromise.There are of course stringent guidelines, mostly based on some form of evangelical midrash, straining the meaning of bible verses that obviously can’t answer to modern issues directly. The evangelical must operate according to most wider cultural conventions but somehow at the same time not imbibe certain secular ideas from their education or the surrounding culture. So you can consume most things that existed at the dawn of the 20th Century - there are no special diets for instance - but you must not become a massive fan of rock music. You must at all cost avoid media that seems to have occult references like the ‘must not be named’ book and movie franchise about a young wizard. You cannot be fully dedicated to any sport, hobby or interest that might entirely distract you from church going and church serving. God forbid you become a  practising homosexual,�� which is even worse than  having sex before marriage. Dwelling on your natural desires is sin. The bottom line is that if you do fall from grace, you do not doubt what the bible commands. Oddly enough church goers find keeping up appearances distracts others from their actual behaviour in private. Hypocrisy is almost unavoidable.

I don’t need to spell out the contradictions between what most people believe and a religion from another age. It is the duty of the individual evangelical to somehow bridge the cultural chasm. And fight the good fight. But  if that’s not exhausting enough the conflict is internalised. The war between the spirit and ‘the flesh is a real bitch. Most folk burn out in the end, worn out managing the contradictions and drop out of the religion altogether. Those who take time to say why they are leaving are pointedly not pursued by their former church. They have become tainted apostates. To hell with them.

Some evangelicals will have a kind of in house sub-conversion experience where they will move from nominal evangelical passivity into a burst of piety and renewed commitment. Because one solution to the contradictions is to become very pious, and almost inevitably, awkward, isolated and judgemental.  This is very hard to keep up of course. There are informal safety valves. The young are almost expected to ‘back slide’ at some point, spending a season being proper sinners and even complete knobheads as long as they fully repent later.  Other people may have no great desire to go off the rails completely, albeit temporarily, and plod on for a long period, sometimes decades. All the time living an unsatisfying and anxious double life.

But not a double life in the sense of engaging in a bit of criminality or highly immoral behaviour ‘on the side’. For evangelicals are by and large, fine and upstanding members of their communities, and anyway, will  tend to come across as rather dorky.  No, instead the evangelical may be wracked with guilt for doing things that wouldn’t bother the average person. Like privately enjoying that wrong type of music, T.V, video games or movies.  Or  serving the church faithfully, while secretly bonking the non-christian girl they love.  A surprising number of young Christian men are in a state of permanent self loathing over a spot of ‘self abuse’. Some are repressing their true sexuality, at great psychological cost.  Others may be getting  regularly and privately munted  in night clubs to turn up bleary eyed and hungover to play in the worship band on Sunday Morning. Yep, that’s why the guitarist always sounds off key.

But there is an even more invidious form of double life-ing. Though evangelicals as communities have no official room for doubters, their individuals are not immune from struggling with their faith. Their normal secular education has honed their critical thinking skills to the point they know their religion relies on special pleading and extraordinary claims with very little evidence. They aren’t generally stupid stupid. They know the vast majority of sane people think their arcane beliefs are utterly incredible. They have to become masters of compartmentalizing different parts of their daily life, but to be that far out of step with everyone else, really stings. You try defending the plausibility  of a talking snake, surviving three days inside a whale or that whole ‘loaves and fishes’ incident. But as an Evangelical they have to believe every-single-word. Literally literally. The all or nothing nature of evangelicalism denies the avenues escape available to the woolly ‘liberal’ Christian. Not for them the liberal option of discarding whole portions of the bible as myth and metaphor.

Evangelicals also struggle to admit they can’t stand their co-religionists. Because maybe the only thing they have in common is the outward show of religion. In all probability they wouldn’t naturally be friends with their local bunch of weirdos, despite being a total weirdo themselves. And they can never, ever, be honest with their fellow church people that they are struggling every day to believe a 101 unbelievable things before breakfast and to successfully apply the values of Moses and St Paul.  Why? Because their fellows may judge. Because they will become a pariah.  Even if they say they’re forgiven, they’ll never  again let them do more than stack chairs at the end of a church meeting. They will no longer be part of  the worship band. Perhaps it is also for the best they won’t be allowed to run the youth group having confessed both  lingering doubts about a literal 7 day creation and a fetish for anime erotica. 

Some people seem to manage their double life quite well by being extraordinarily passive aggressive. You haven’t even experienced true micro aggressions until you’ve seen how some  religious people can be mushily polite to each other’s faces,  while jostling for position in the church and finding countless other ways to be mean: backbiting, malicious gossip or enjoying a bit of schadenfreude. Others channel their inner conflict toward hating some minority they believe God disapproves of. 

Needless to say, living a lie can make you behave like a complete arsehole. 

And as they say, it takes one to know one.

Athlete’s Footnote;

*social-distancing  Verb: the act of avoiding sinners or  the Corona Virus

[ultrasfcb-blog]

World Cup Rewind - England v Tunisia: The story of the trouble at France 98

World Cup Rewind - England v Tunisia: The story of the trouble at France 98

World Cup Rewind – England v Tunisia: The story of the trouble at France 98

Marseille city authorities said 63 people were injured in the three days of fighting in June 1998

World Cup Rewind: England v Tunisia 1998 Date: Thursday 7 June (12:00 BST) Coverage: Watch the whole game ‘live’ on the BBC Sport website and app. Live text commentary online

Prime minister Tony Blair called it “a total disgrace”, the head of the Football Association said he was “sickened”, and the sports minister said a “moronic minority” were ruining England’s reputation abroad.

At least 32 people were injured during three days of rioting and violence when England met Tunisia in Marseille in their opening game of the World Cup in France in 1998.

Much has changed on and off the pitch in the 20 years since, but England will again play Tunisia in their first match of a major tournament when the sides meet in Volgograd on 18 June.

So what happened in Marseille? And why?

You can watch the whole match from 1998 in full on the BBC Sport website and app on Thursday from noon BST.

Marseille ‘a recipe for disaster’

After the World Cup qualifying failure of 1993, the game with Tunisia in Marseille was England’s first in the tournament since their excruciating defeat to West Germany in Turin eight years earlier.

Expectations were high, and even manager Glenn Hoddle’s decision to leave Paul Gascoigne at home did not deter thousands of fans from making the journey across the Channel.

But not everyone was happy with the decision to play the opening game at the Stade Velodrome. Sir Brian Hayes – former deputy commissioner of the Metropolitan Police – was recruited by the FA as a security advisor for the tournament and says they wanted the game moved.

The FA’s security advisor wanted the game moved from Marseille

“In the build up to the World Cup we tried to get the game switched to a different venue,” Hayes told BBC Sport.

“I fought personally quite hard, and the chief executive of the FA tried because of the large resident north African population in Marseille. It was going to be staged in very hot weather, there was obviously going to be a lot of drinking by the British fans and the whole climate was wrong, the venue was wrong.

“We tried to get them to switch the matches around so that the Tunisia game could be played in Lens, for example, but they couldn’t or wouldn’t bow to that at all.

“The recipe was there, from a security point of view, for a disaster. And that’s what we got.”

‘Tear gas in the air’ – the build-up

England fans had to wait five days after the start of the tournament to see their side in action, the Tunisia game scheduled for a Monday lunchtime kick-off. As millions back home booked time off work to watch, thousands poured into the Mediterranean port over the weekend.

A French paper was kind enough to supply me with passes, a car and 24,000km worth of petrol in return for a month’s reportage, and were unkind enough to call it ‘Diary of a Hooligan’

Alex GriffithsReporter

After some isolated trouble on the Saturday night, Sunday saw 400 England followers involved in pitched battles with Tunisian fans, local youths and police during seven hours of violence which left at least 32 people injured.

Police fired tear gas to break up groups of several hundred England and Tunisia supporters, there was a constant hail of bottles and missiles and as fans retreated they destroyed shops and premises.

Two Britons required operations for serious injuries, one for a slashed throat and the other for a knife wound to the stomach. There were nearly 50 arrests. Hayes’ prophecy had come to pass.

England fan Tim Rolls: “We realised Marseille could be a flashpoint and best avoided in terms of staying there.

“Our mood the night before the game was not helped by images on French TV of England supporters fighting with police and locals in Marseille and, worse, setting fire to a Tunisian flag. You didn’t need to be a diplomatic genius to realise this was going to crank up the tension a few notches.”

BBC commentator Jonathan Pearce: “There was some trepidation about the fans. Bad fighting had broken out in what is always a spiky city on the eve of the game. There was talk that England would be thrown out of the World Cup if there was a repeat.

“I was worried because I had family there who had tickets. I remember the relief when I met them outside the stadium and they were OK.”

Hayes: “The English fans didn’t start it. Some of the African population started lobbing cans of beer at England fans, and even if England fans don’t start a fight they are up for one.

“I had seen occasions where England fans started trouble but in Marseille I can say they didn’t – from what I saw. They were heavily provoked. It was not a good experience.”

BBC news correspondent Robert Hall: “I remember the Sunday very clearly. We jumped out of the van as we arrived in Marseille and saw the trouble down by the harbour and ran off towards it.

“There was tear gas in the air, it was very hot. There were a lot of young north African guys, locals, who came into town to join in with any trouble.

A Tunisian government statement expressed “profound indignation at these unacceptable acts and behaviour which are incompatible with sportsmanship and civilised values”.

“It was full on. French police in full riot gear with tear gas charging the fans. I’m always careful to use the word fans as it was the usual hardcore group of people you always find in any sort of trouble like that. We stayed at a reasonably safe distance.”

England fan Matt Stewart: “We were aware that there could be trouble due to the reputation of England fans at the time, so we decided to stay in Avignon.

“The night before the game there were hundreds of fans in Avignon but the atmosphere was good. Around 11pm a huge football match broke out in the main square. It was about 80 a side! There were locals and England fans on both sides.”

The UK’s home secretary of the time, Jack Straw, backed the actions of the French police, saying there were no excuses for hooliganism.

“I don’t want to hear any kind of examination of whether these people had bad childhoods,” he said at the time.

“I’ve seen football hooligans myself. They always have a huge amount of money, get completely drunk and then commit this kind of act and then offer excuses.

“We have to try to get a grip of it.”

Prime Minister Blair said the fighting was a “total disgrace”. He added: “It may be a small number of fans, there may be other fans that have been involved, but that is no excuse, there aren’t any excuses for it. We have to put a stop to it.

“These people have the absolute condemnation of everyone in the country.”

‘An air of bristling tension’ – game day

As the tear gas cleared overnight in Marseille city centre, it was time for action on the pitch as Hoddle’s England lined up against Tunisia live on BBC One.

How England lined up for the match at the Stade Velodrome, which they won 2-0

Thankfully – unlike during the England v Russia game in 2016 – there was no trouble inside the Velodrome itself, but scuffles were ignited down on the beach fanzone following Alan Shearer’s opening goal in a relatively comfortable 2-0 win.

During the BBC coverage of the game, FA chief executive Graham Kelly hit out at the “400 drunken English people who have come here and caused immense inconvenience and distress”.

“We have made progress but as long as people are allowed to leave the country and have the inclination to sit in bars and drink for 24 hours – there is something in the mentality of the English that they are going to cause trouble,” he said.

“Their behaviour sickened everyone connected with the England team and all the genuine supporters. It really is terrible. They are not fit to be allowed here. It was frightening, to be honest with you. The only silver lining is that it showed this must be nipped in the bud.”

At the time, Kevin Miles of the Football Supporters’ Association said England fans were caught up in tension between locals and French riot police.

“What happened was a war on the streets of Marseille between the local Arab population and the police for their own reasons about French politics, not English football,” he said.

“English fans have been caught in the middle of that with no protection from the police.”

Shearer remembers beating Tunisia in ’98

The Ref Online reporter Alex Griffiths: “Knowing demand would exceed supply, it was agreed to stage a proto-fanzone before fanzones were yet really a thing, and this was where most of the innocent day-trippers were hurt as they made their way to and from the screening of the game in the unfamiliar sunshine. The violence in the city itself was far more of a consensual affair on the Monday, and if you were able to persuade a hotel to take you in, that was the safest place to sit it out.

“The scene at the port’s front became more akin to a film set, with TV lighting paraphernalia up in one corner and extras virtually bussed in direct from Luton, in the days when budget airlines were also a relatively new phenomenon.”

Hayes: “That was another thing we advised against – having a big screen on the beach. It was relatively peaceful until England scored and then it kicked off again. England fans were being provoked all the time.”

Pearce: “There certainly was an air of bristling tension hanging over the city. My family came in by train and were quite frightened by all the reports. There had been bad clashes in the build up to the game. Marseille could then be, as it is now, quite intimidating.

Home secretary Jack Straw told the House of Commons: “The country has been betrayed by fans’ treacherous behaviour”

“I remember seeing groups hanging around on street corners waiting for something to happen. But inside the ground it was fine.

“The interesting conflict was between England’s genuine belief, and mine, that they could win the World Cup against the real fear that they could get thrown out of the competition for crowd trouble.

“The Stade Velodrome is different these days. Then it had a huge bank behind the right-hand goal. The England fans had turned the whole place into Wembley. There were flags and banners everywhere. No trouble inside the ground. Just a wonderful atmosphere. 60,000 fans. It still makes me tingle to think about it.”

Goals from Alan Shearer and Paul Scholes were enough to secure a win in Marseille

England fan Martin Cloake: “I remember being amazed at the sheer numbers who’d travelled – about 40,000 England fans in a 60,000 stadium. We met some really good people, and fans were obviously aware there had been problems, but most of the people we spoke to were fairly determined to keep out of it.

“We could see tear gas and some running about in the streets outside while we were still in the stadium, so obviously we knew there were still problems, but we didn’t know the extent of what had happened on the beach until later.

“Most of the conversations we had were with fans who were annoyed that some fans had obviously been involved in trouble and that this would take the focus away from the great support we had. The point is that plenty of fans managed to stay out of trouble, despite the very real issues there were.”

Stewart: “We saw the news reports of overnight violence in Marseille when we woke up on match day so were apprehensive when getting the train to the game. On arrival we saw lots of English supporters with cuts, bruises and bandages. Most victims reported they were attacked by locals on mopeds.

“Post-match we saw some running brawls as we headed to the metro. We got to the station to return to Avignon and a large number of English fans were there trying to leave Marseille. Some on our train stated they had nowhere to stay but a park bench was better than risking further attacks in Marseille.”

England fan Jeremy Lockley: “We were staying in an apartment about an hour from Marseille. We had heard about the trouble and a few of us considered not going to the game.

“On the morning of the game we decided quite late that we would go, but that we would travel in by car. As we tried to enter the ground we were refused as it was after kick off but eventually we were let in by two policeman who agreed with our point it was better for us to be in the ground than out.

“We ended up in the Tunisia end but inside the ground there was no trouble at all, the Tunisia fans were very friendly and the atmosphere was very relaxed. We celebrated the Paul Scholes goal forgetting where we were and, although we had some funny looks, there was no trouble.”

More than 1,000 England fans were banned from travelling to the next World Cup in Japan and South Korea in 2002

‘It was a watershed moment’ – the aftermath

England’s second group game against Romania in Toulouse was also marred by trouble – one fan was stabbed – but not on the scale of Marseille.

In the 20 years since then, England fans have been caught up in trouble again – but Hayes believes the Tunisia game was a turning point in how travelling fans are policed.

Hayes: “As a result of what happened in France there was a lot of work between the FA, the police and the Home Office to strengthen the legislation and that’s where banning orders came in.

“In the years that followed, measures were put in which pretty much knocked it on the head. Identifying the troublemakers beforehand, stopping them becoming members of the FA travel club, getting passports withdrawn on occasion – strong measures.

“We have only seen sporadic incidents since, nothing to equal what was going on in the 1990s. It was a watershed in a way, that game. It disappointed us but it led on to strong measures being taken. There was a feeling that enough is enough.”

Griffiths: “The daily French paper which invented the European Cup were kind enough to supply me with passes, a car, a list of hotels and 24,000km worth of petrol in return for a month’s reportage, and were unkind enough to call it ‘Diary of a Hooligan’, because clickbait, even then, was kind of a thing.”

Twenty years on the sides meet again in Russia. Can England manage better than their second-round exit to Argentina that followed the sides’ game in France?

Pearce: “We stayed on the air for a post match phone-in and the fans were genuinely optimistic that England could win the World Cup. This wasn’t the usual hype. The hope seemed real.

“I had commentated on all but two England games from 1987 up to that summer of 1998. But my optimism about their chances has never been as high again as it was on that June day in Marseille.”

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A 'watershed' in hooliganism - when England last met Tunisia

World Cup Rewind: England v Tunisia 1998 Date: Thursday 7 June (12:00 BST) Coverage: Watch the whole game ‘live’ on the BBC Sport website and app. Live text commentary online

Prime minister Tony Blair called it “a total disgrace”, the head of the Football Association said he was “sickened”, and the sports minister said a “moronic minority” were ruining England’s reputation abroad.

At least 32 people were injured during three days of rioting and violence when England met Tunisia in Marseille in their opening game of the World Cup in France in 1998.

Much has changed on and off the pitch in the 20 years since, but England will again play Tunisia in their first match of a major tournament when the sides meet in Volgograd on 18 June.

So what happened in Marseille? And why?

You can watch the whole match from 1998 in full on the BBC Sport website and app on Thursday from noon BST.

Marseille ‘a recipe for disaster’

After the World Cup qualifying failure of 1993, the game with Tunisia in Marseille was England’s first in the tournament since their excruciating defeat to West Germany in Turin eight years earlier.

Expectations were high, and even manager Glenn Hoddle’s decision to leave Paul Gascoigne at home did not deter thousands of fans from making the journey across the Channel.

But not everyone was happy with the decision to play the opening game at the Stade Velodrome. Sir Brian Hayes – former deputy commissioner of the Metropolitan Police – was recruited by the FA as a security advisor for the tournament and says they wanted the game moved.

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“In the build up to the World Cup we tried to get the game switched to a different venue,” Hayes told BBC Sport.

“I fought personally quite hard, and the chief executive of the FA tried because of the large resident north African population in Marseille. It was going to be staged in very hot weather, there was obviously going to be a lot of drinking by the British fans and the whole climate was wrong, the venue was wrong.

“We tried to get them to switch the matches around so that the Tunisia game could be played in Lens, for example, but they couldn’t or wouldn’t bow to that at all.

“The recipe was there, from a security point of view, for a disaster. And that’s what we got.”

‘Tear gas in the air’ – the build-up

England fans had to wait five days after the start of the tournament to see their side in action, the Tunisia game scheduled for a Monday lunchtime kick-off. As millions back home booked time off work to watch, thousands poured into the Mediterranean port over the weekend.

After some isolated trouble on the Saturday night, Sunday saw 400 England followers involved in pitched battles with Tunisian fans, local youths and police during seven hours of violence which left at least 32 people injured.

Police fired tear gas to break up groups of several hundred England and Tunisia supporters, there was a constant hail of bottles and missiles and as fans retreated they destroyed shops and premises.

Two Britons required operations for serious injuries, one for a slashed throat and the other for a knife wound to the stomach. There were nearly 50 arrests. Hayes’ prophecy had come to pass.

England fan Tim Rolls: “We realised Marseille could be a flashpoint and best avoided in terms of staying there.

“Our mood the night before the game was not helped by images on French TV of England supporters fighting with police and locals in Marseille and, worse, setting fire to a Tunisian flag. You didn’t need to be a diplomatic genius to realise this was going to crank up the tension a few notches.”

BBC commentator Jonathan Pearce: “There was some trepidation about the fans. Bad fighting had broken out in what is always a spiky city on the eve of the game. There was talk that England would be thrown out of the World Cup if there was a repeat.

“I was worried because I had family there who had tickets. I remember the relief when I met them outside the stadium and they were OK.”

Hayes: “The English fans didn’t start it. Some of the African population started lobbing cans of beer at England fans, and even if England fans don’t start a fight they are up for one.

“I had seen occasions where England fans started trouble but in Marseille I can say they didn’t – from what I saw. They were heavily provoked. It was not a good experience.”

BBC news correspondent Robert Hall: “I remember the Sunday very clearly. We jumped out of the van as we arrived in Marseille and saw the trouble down by the harbour and ran off towards it.

“There was tear gas in the air, it was very hot. There were a lot of young north African guys, locals, who came into town to join in with any trouble.

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“It was full on. French police in full riot gear with tear gas charging the fans. I’m always careful to use the word fans as it was the usual hardcore group of people you always find in any sort of trouble like that. We stayed at a reasonably safe distance.”

England fan Matt Stewart: “We were aware that there could be trouble due to the reputation of England fans at the time, so we decided to stay in Avignon.

“The night before the game there were hundreds of fans in Avignon but the atmosphere was good. Around 11pm a huge football match broke out in the main square. It was about 80 a side! There were locals and England fans on both sides.”

The UK’s home secretary of the time, Jack Straw, backed the actions of the French police, saying there were no excuses for hooliganism.

“I don’t want to hear any kind of examination of whether these people had bad childhoods,” he said at the time.

“I’ve seen football hooligans myself. They always have a huge amount of money, get completely drunk and then commit this kind of act and then offer excuses.

“We have to try to get a grip of it.”

Prime Minister Blair said the fighting was a “total disgrace”. He added: “It may be a small number of fans, there may be other fans that have been involved, but that is no excuse, there aren’t any excuses for it. We have to put a stop to it.

“These people have the absolute condemnation of everyone in the country.”

‘An air of bristling tension’ – game day

As the tear gas cleared overnight in Marseille city centre, it was time for action on the pitch as Hoddle’s England lined up against Tunisia live on BBC One.

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Thankfully – unlike during the England v Russia game in 2016 – there was no trouble inside the Velodrome itself, but scuffles were ignited down on the beach fanzone following Alan Shearer’s opening goal in a relatively comfortable 2-0 win.

During the BBC coverage of the game, FA chief executive Graham Kelly hit out at the “400 drunken English people who have come here and caused immense inconvenience and distress”.

“We have made progress but as long as people are allowed to leave the country and have the inclination to sit in bars and drink for 24 hours – there is something in the mentality of the English that they are going to cause trouble,” he said.

“Their behaviour sickened everyone connected with the England team and all the genuine supporters. It really is terrible. They are not fit to be allowed here. It was frightening, to be honest with you. The only silver lining is that it showed this must be nipped in the bud.”

At the time, Kevin Miles of the Football Supporters’ Association said England fans were caught up in tension between locals and French riot police.

“What happened was a war on the streets of Marseille between the local Arab population and the police for their own reasons about French politics, not English football,” he said.

“English fans have been caught in the middle of that with no protection from the police.”

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The Ref Online reporter Alex Griffiths: “Knowing demand would exceed supply, it was agreed to stage a proto-fanzone before fanzones were yet really a thing, and this was where most of the innocent day-trippers were hurt as they made their way to and from the screening of the game in the unfamiliar sunshine. The violence in the city itself was far more of a consensual affair on the Monday, and if you were able to persuade a hotel to take you in, that was the safest place to sit it out.

“The scene at the port’s front became more akin to a film set, with TV lighting paraphernalia up in one corner and extras virtually bussed in direct from Luton, in the days when budget airlines were also a relatively new phenomenon.”

Hayes: “That was another thing we advised against – having a big screen on the beach. It was relatively peaceful until England scored and then it kicked off again. England fans were being provoked all the time.”

Pearce: “There certainly was an air of bristling tension hanging over the city. My family came in by train and were quite frightened by all the reports. There had been bad clashes in the build up to the game. Marseille could then be, as it is now, quite intimidating.

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“I remember seeing groups hanging around on street corners waiting for something to happen. But inside the ground it was fine.

“The interesting conflict was between England’s genuine belief, and mine, that they could win the World Cup against the real fear that they could get thrown out of the competition for crowd trouble.

“The Stade Velodrome is different these days. Then it had a huge bank behind the right-hand goal. The England fans had turned the whole place into Wembley. There were flags and banners everywhere. No trouble inside the ground. Just a wonderful atmosphere. 60,000 fans. It still makes me tingle to think about it.”

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England fan Martin Cloake: “I remember being amazed at the sheer numbers who’d travelled – about 40,000 England fans in a 60,000 stadium. We met some really good people, and fans were obviously aware there had been problems, but most of the people we spoke to were fairly determined to keep out of it.

“We could see tear gas and some running about in the streets outside while we were still in the stadium, so obviously we knew there were still problems, but we didn’t know the extent of what had happened on the beach until later.

“Most of the conversations we had were with fans who were annoyed that some fans had obviously been involved in trouble and that this would take the focus away from the great support we had. The point is that plenty of fans managed to stay out of trouble, despite the very real issues there were.”

Stewart: “We saw the news reports of overnight violence in Marseille when we woke up on match day so were apprehensive when getting the train to the game. On arrival we saw lots of English supporters with cuts, bruises and bandages. Most victims reported they were attacked by locals on mopeds.

“Post-match we saw some running brawls as we headed to the metro. We got to the station to return to Avignon and a large number of English fans were there trying to leave Marseille. Some on our train stated they had nowhere to stay but a park bench was better than risking further attacks in Marseille.”

England fan Jeremy Lockley: “We were staying in an apartment about an hour from Marseille. We had heard about the trouble and a few of us considered not going to the game.

“On the morning of the game we decided quite late that we would go, but that we would travel in by car. As we tried to enter the ground we were refused as it was after kick off but eventually we were let in by two policeman who agreed with our point it was better for us to be in the ground than out.

“We ended up in the Tunisia end but inside the ground there was no trouble at all, the Tunisia fans were very friendly and the atmosphere was very relaxed. We celebrated the Paul Scholes goal forgetting where we were and, although we had some funny looks, there was no trouble.”

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‘It was a watershed moment’ – the aftermath

England’s second group game against Romania in Toulouse was also marred by trouble – one fan was stabbed – but not on the scale of Marseille.

In the 20 years since then, England fans have been caught up in trouble again – but Hayes believes the Tunisia game was a turning point in how travelling fans are policed.

Hayes: “As a result of what happened in France there was a lot of work between the FA, the police and the Home Office to strengthen the legislation and that’s where banning orders came in.

“In the years that followed, measures were put in which pretty much knocked it on the head. Identifying the troublemakers beforehand, stopping them becoming members of the FA travel club, getting passports withdrawn on occasion – strong measures.

“We have only seen sporadic incidents since, nothing to equal what was going on in the 1990s. It was a watershed in a way, that game. It disappointed us but it led on to strong measures being taken. There was a feeling that enough is enough.”

Griffiths: “The daily French paper which invented the European Cup were kind enough to supply me with passes, a car, a list of hotels and 24,000km worth of petrol in return for a month’s reportage, and were unkind enough to call it ‘Diary of a Hooligan’, because clickbait, even then, was kind of a thing.”

Twenty years on the sides meet again in Russia. Can England manage better than their second-round exit to Argentina that followed the sides’ game in France?

Pearce: “We stayed on the air for a post match phone-in and the fans were genuinely optimistic that England could win the World Cup. This wasn’t the usual hype. The hope seemed real.

“I had commentated on all but two England games from 1987 up to that summer of 1998. But my optimism about their chances has never been as high again as it was on that June day in Marseille.”

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A 'watershed' in hooliganism – when England last met Tunisia was originally published on 365 Football

[clubofinfo]

Expert: Personally, I don’t think “the left” ultimately represents much of anything coherent, but rather constitutes a historically contingent coalition of ideological positions. Bastiat and other free market folks sat on the left of the french assembly, and while we might try to claim that as part of a consistent leftist market tradition, we should be honest that one’s position in that particular revolution — much less revolution in general — is hardly indicative of very much. There are always revolutionaries who desire systems far worse than our own, and similarly there have been many broadly recognized “leftists” whose desires were utterly anathema to liberation. It’s popular these days to paint the left and right as egalitarian versus hierarchical. But not only is this an imposed read on a far messier historical and sociological reality, but it’s honestly quite philosophically contentless. No one is particularly clear on what egalitarianism means, or even hierarchy, and many interpretations are not only mutually exclusive, they reveal supposedly identical claims as actually deeply antagonistic. Does egalitarianism mean everyone gets precisely the same wealth (however that’s supposed to be measured)? Does it mean mere legal or social equality in the abstract realm of relations before The People or The State’s legal system? Does it mean equal opportunity for economic striving or does it mean equal access to the people’s grain stores? Does equality supersede all other virtues like liberty? Is it better to all be oppressed equally than to have some achieve greater freedom? I’m not being facetious. We paper over these deep issues with “well but common sense” and the wishful assumption that our comrades will come down on the minutia the same way we would, sharing our intuitions on various tradeoffs, but that’s empirically not the case. We constantly differ. People talk about “collective direct democracy” as if something being the near unanimous will of some social body constitutes an egalitarian condition. And, sure, it does under some definitions. But the moment I see some collective body trying to vote on my life I don’t want to “participate” I want to chuck a bomb at it. Leftists use both the slogans “power to the people” and “abolish power” — this should be an intense red flag to everyone that completely different conceptual systems and values are at play. It’s delusional in the extreme to suppose that if we sat down and talked about things we’d all end up on the same page. The assumption of pan-leftist solidarity or a shared common goal is a comforting lie. The left isn’t defined by some set of axioms in ethical philosophy that we can all agree on and than argue about derivations of strategy or implementation from. The left is a historical coalition thrown together by happenstance. As with revolution we tend to self-identify as the underdogs and build our coalitions from the classes we recognize as underdogs against the classes we recognize as ruling but this leads to all kinds of contortions. We are for the right to choose because women are the underdogs in patriarchy. But at the same time we’re pro vegan because animals are the (sometimes literal) underdogs in human domination. Wait, do we value all living things? What counts as a discrete living thing? Do we value them equally or is the level of consciousness/sentience important? Is it the level of dependence or strain it places on another person? Suddenly the responses we have in situations with family members versus the overdogs of christianity seemingly start to come into conflict with the responses we have in situations with disabled people (underdogs!). I’m not saying there isn’t a way to thread all these dynamics, to find a core ethical guide and nuanced attentive implementation — I think there is one (although my particular approach of ultimately recognizing a vast spectrum of sentience/consciousness between zygotes/nematodes and anyone remotely close to a conscious human is denounced by a number on the left as “unegalitarian”). I’m pointing out that our responses rarely arise from an ethical analysis but from instinctual responses to any appearance of an underdog. The left is rarely a philosophy, more often a coalition, with theory tacked on to serve the goals of binding that coalition together. One could easily imagine universes with different historical paths where outlawing abortion is a core leftist plank, seen as deeply interrelated with opposing queerphobia, patriarchy, ableism, etc. Or the left could oppose legal sanction, but support and build grassroots social and cultural sanction against abortion. (Again, for the record I’m pro-choice.) Underdogism is a really dangerous approach to the world. It’s a good “rule of thumb” but if you know anything about me it’s that I abhor such heuristics and see them as the opposite of radical analysis. Underdogism is how you get things like zionism, leninism, poc nationalism, TERFs, SWERFs, etc. Its failures are manifold. There’s a good case the left is nothing but underdogism — in which case fascism is almost always leftist. MRAs don’t approach politics like a reactionary on the right side of the French Estates General, consciously seeking to preserve an established ruling structure, they see themselves as the underdogs. Sure, they’re not (in almost everything besides some fringe contexts like some bits of divorce law), but fuck it they’re potential underdogs, and that status is more than enough to reproduce much of the standard structures of underdogism. One might interject that the problem with underdogism of the alt-right is not just their misidentification of underdogs but their hunger for power, and this is certainly broadly true (although a fraction of the alt-right actually seem less in it for power but more in it to drink outgroup/”overdog” tears). But this certainly applies to much of the left in good standing. Certainly many authoritarian leftists have hungrily latched onto underdogism as a potential ladder to power. I’ve met feminist writers who openly admitted to me they’d be patriarchal if they were men, or own slaves if they were antebellum rich whites. Yes, any set of smart persons who recoil at clear instances of oppression are gonna broadly converge on a number of positions or analyses. But the way they reconcile or hold together these things may differ dramatically. Just because the left is a stable coalition in our present context doesn’t mean aspects of it that seem in perfect harmony won’t break in wildly different directions should certain conditions change. I have repeatedly encountered leftists who’ve claim that valuing some things above other things is hierarchical and thus right-wing (leftism being in their minds representing something more like stoicism or buddhism). Similarly you find epistemic pluralism common in the most heads-up-their-ass sectors of left academia who think thinking some models of the world are more true than others is “unegalitarian” or even “totalitarian.” It’s tempting to just laugh about hippies and move on, but these sort of horrifically bad definitions of “egalitarianism” will sometimes come out of the mouths of smart people who generally have their heads on straight the moment they move to a context they’re unused to. Now I hate the NAP, but everyone laughs at the NAP these days for being “unpragmatic” and this has increasingly become tied to a casual indictment of all ethical philosophy itself. A turn that has been encouraged by the twin interrelated scourges of the modern internet far left: tankies and nihilists. This makes sense if — as per social justice — you see the point of the left to create a social framework of etiquette and loose ideology that can bind a coalition of underdog classes together. Thus the increasing refrain of “you can’t compare!” that happens whenever someone tries to tease out commonalities or contradictions between various claims, positions or planks. There is, from this perspective, no common root or unifying ethos to the left and we should not look for one lest the whole project fall apart. Philosophy, ethics, and core values or principles become the enemies, as does both methodological individualism and universalism. There are neither individual experiences nor universal ones, just relatively simplistic classes of people with incomparable experiences. And we bind them together into common cause by badgering, social positioning, poetic affective appeals, and threats of violence. The left isn’t unified by anything. Marxism is half discredited by idiocy and monstrosity and the half that survived became a wildly contradictory mess more preoccupied with obscurantism, irrationality and anti-realism to hide its own failures than getting anything done much less charting a path. Most of the concerns of the left refer to opposing mythologized superstructures that we are left flailing in the absence of or whenever their composition and behavior change. The left is, in short, utterly allergic to radicalism. Fending off its inadequacies with short puffs of extremism instead. As social and ideological complexities compound through the runaway feedback of the information age these internal tensions and the laughably frail taping over we’ve done will only become more clear. There is still hope for a radical anarchism that is willing to root its discussions of freedom and ethics concretely and explicitly. But this will necessarily involve casting off from many allies who we share some limited intuitions or momentary prescriptions with. Or at least dissolving the comforting delusions of a deep camaraderie. The only reason the lie of “the left” has persisted for two centuries is that its grand Manichean narrative of two more or less uniform tribes — one enlightened and one indecipherably morally corrupt — enables a sense of community that provides psychological comfort to many. To many on the left (as well as on the nationalistic etc right) a hunger for “community” is actually their primary motivation. When chatting at the bar it’s better to not look too deep into why you both oppose capitalists lest you discover something that sunders rather than binds. But the format of present internet technologies has had the reverse effect. Inescapable contact with The Enemy has led us to put up hostile discursive walls that naturally end up cutting out our traditional allies too, causing both right and left to fracture in desperate attempts to find purity, trustworthiness, or some kind of deeper binding. The happenstance points of unity that worked when we had little choice in who to befriend are now fracturing in all directions. This is largely a good thing, the last two decades have seen all manner of horrors lurking among our own ranks exposed. But the process that brings to light our lack of commonality with the anti-science leftist deep ecologist who wants to kill all humans is also a process that will ultimately rip “the left” to unsalvageable shreds. This ship is sinking. And just because many of the rats are fleeing doesn’t mean we shouldn’t either. http://clubof.info/