#or because they didn't like the person? or maybe it's their close friend and they just killed them to throw off suspicion
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This has been on my mind for a while and I’m kinda surprised no body really wrote about it but could you please do one were reader basically gets into curly’s ass about jimmy but it kinda leads into a lil heated argument you can chose if it ends on a good note also have a good morning, day or night 😊
𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊, 𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐒, 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 - 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑
author’s note sorry for the radio silence. i’ve been suffering from writer’s block. working retail during the holidays will do that to you. anyway, enjoy this ficlet.
You were starting to wake. Through your eyelids, you noticed how the room around you began to brighten up. You let out a groan and turn onto your side before proceeding to tap your hand on the side where Curly normally slept…and yet you felt nothing there. Your eyelids flick open in horror.
Curly's side of the bed was empty. You sit up, frantic. Where was he? You look at his dresser, then yours - no note. You scan the room and there isn't any sign that he's gone.
You scoot off the bed and go downstairs. As you descend, you can hear his voice. You follow it into the kitchen where you finally see him standing there, still in his boxers, one hand on his hip, and the other holding his phone against his ear. He looks frustrated, must be that pony job he always complains about.
Curly acknowledges you with a smile before focusing once again on his conversation. "No, that makes no sense! I already told you I was coming here!"
You walk up behind Curly and lean against his back. Your hands run up his torso, feeling up his pectorals and his abs.
“Alright, Jimmy,” he says.
Of course.
You pull away at the sound of that name. You didn't really like how Jimmy presented himself; there was a strange amount of jealousy from his end and he could just never be happy for others. There was already a mutual dislike for each other but your boyfriend, Curly being Curly, takes his job too seriously and lets it spill into his personal life. He thinks he can H.R. his way into making you and Jimmy friends or, at least, respect each other.
Curly hangs up and turns around to greet you. "Good morning, sweetheart." He lights up with these words, no sign of being bothered by his conversation. You decide not to say anything at first. If anything, you were a little annoyed - if he was going to wake up before you, you'd at least hope he'd go out on a run or maybe surprise you with a sweet treat or flowers. You open the fridge in search of something to eat. Milk, eggs, leftover pomegranate.
"Babe?" Curly's head pokes over the fridge. "I said good morning."
You decide to eat the pomegranate for breakfast. Wouldn't want it to go bad.
"I bet it is. How's your boyfriend?" you ask. Curly's face drops. You close the fridge and take a seat by the island counter.
"Hey, don't walk away from me. What's up with you?" he asks. You shoot him a look, then your eyes move to his phone. Curly eyes follow yours and it hits him once his eyes settle on his phone.
"Please don't start. Not this morning."
"Oh, so you're aware. Perfect!" You place your cut pomegranate back in the bowl. "My question is just why? Why do you give him so much...control?"
"Control? I am my own man, you know. Captain of my own ship." You must have hit a nerve because Curly normally doesn't get defensive like this. Using his title to make him seem better? Not a usual practice of his.
"You deliver shit! People at NASA get to brag about going to space to explore! You don't. So don't let your ego get in the way of me questioning your relationship with your idiot friend."
He was Persephone, Jimmy was Hades, and like Demeter, you only had Curly for the spring and summer.
You both stare intensely at each other for a moment and it was the 'let's just hop in the sheets and fuck it out' intensity. You both were genuinely pissed at each other.
"I'm going to step out," Curly says breaking the silence. He starts to make his way up the stairs. "Yeah, avoid the question of Jimmy, like you always do!" you yell at him.
"Shut up!" He's halfway up the stairs. Your head cocks back. "Did you tell me to shut up?" He's never spoken to you like that - you're not even sure he's spoken to anyone like that.
Curly realizes what he's just said and is equally as shocked by his own mouth. He rushes down the stairs and reaches out to you. When he's close, you turn your body away. "Hey..." he pleads.
"Curly...please go. Go anywhere. I don't know. Go call Jimmy or something. Just get out of my sight." You push your bowl of fruit away from you. Still refusing to face him, you continue, "I will not allow you to talk to me like that. Especially, especially, if we're talking about Jimmy. You must be out of your fucking mind."
He lingers before finally giving in. "Ok...I'll step out for a bit." Curly hesitantly places a hand on your back. You don’t tell him off or recoil. “I’m sorry and…and I shouldn’t have said that to you.”
Of course, he wasn’t going to acknowledge the actual problem - Jimmy. So you choose to let it go because it’s all you can do. Curly gives you the day to yourself before coming home for dinner. A bouquet of your flowers and tons of kisses make up for the quarrel for now.
#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#captain curly x reader#curly x reader#mouthwashing x reader#curly x reader mouthwashing#black yn#black reader
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tbh I think that the way Ashley Graves is so mischaracterized by the fandom says a lot about how people view grooming survivors (and autistic people). Let me explain:
Obviously, huge spoilers for Chapters 1 and 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. This is just a psychoanalysis of Ashley, however to do so involves a LOT of lore.
To start off, I'm just gonna put a trigger warning right here for LOTS of talk about grooming, as well as neglect and ableism. If you feel uncomfortable reading about these subjects you are more than welcome to click off. Please stay safe.
What made me decide to do this rant:
A few months ago, I got a text from someone who was upset about me having Ashley as my PFP. I was initially like "okay, they don't like TCOAAL, so what", and then immediately after I got a text from them responding to an Instagram story I had basically saying that Ashley was "so me fr fr".
"Let me guess, you also kin Valentino"
Valentino, from Hazbin Hotel, as in the blatant physically + verbally + sexually abusive piece of shit who is in no way redeemable.
I had brushed this off as "maybe they just don't like Ashley", until they listed why.
...all of the reasons they gave fell under the main categories of "she's clingy, she's flirtatious with Andrew, and her sprites are made for the male gaze."
The male gaze thing was because she didn't appear to be wearing a bra. Which like... sexualizing much? For fuck's sake, she's locked in an apartment about to die, do you think wearing a bra would be a priority?
Secondly, her behaviour.
Admittedly, she's not a great person. But that's because she never learnt how to be.
In-game there is so so so SO much emphasis on how she acts childish, and how literally no one gives two shits about her. It doesn't take a professional psychologist to figure out that she never was able to develop properly. That's why she's so clingy, because Andrew is the one person who at least pretends to care about her. And then there's her flirtatiousness.
It's revealed in several flashbacks that the only way she could ever get Andrew's attention is to do something fucked up, as seen by her as a child killing Nina. Andrew then gives her attention for this, which establishes the connection that homicide -> attention, and attention = care and love and affection.
Due to the fact that she never had any friends, she never was able to have any type of love (whether that be platonic, romantic, etc.) reciprocated. Except for Andrew.
Andrew, throughout the game, proceeds to subtly encourage Ashley's flirtatiousness. She has no reference of this type of stuff not being okay, and thus her social isolation made her the perfect target.
Social isolation, gaslighting, coercion, threatening to hurt the person if they don't do the desired behaviour. You know what those are?
Textbook signs of grooming.
I realized that people hate Ashley so much because since she's not aware of her situation being bad, she's unable to come to that realization. She's not perfect, let alone a 'good victim'. She only sexualizes herself because that's how she learned she can get affection and care.
So... where does the whole "Ashley is autistic" theory come from, then?
As stated by Renee Graves, Ashley was "a lot of work" as compared to Andrew (guess what, kids take work). Now, this alone wouldn't be any indicator. However...
It's shown that she was unable to make friends because she was "weird" and clearly didn't have an understanding of social cues and rules (which honestly hit close to home for me). It's also shown that she problem-solves differently (or at least differently than Andrew, who is seen as the "logical sane one") and also seems to be more of a hands-on learner (I forget if there's any actual proof of this, however upon analysis she is an ESFP, and ESFPs tend to be more hands-on (yes I'm aware that MBTI types are the psychology equivalent of horoscopes, but there is some truth to them)).
Not to mention how she's shown to have extreme emotions, and tends to have meltdowns (I apologize if this isn't the right word, I'm not sure what the term would be). The extreme emotions part can be part of how blatantly of a pwBPD she is, but BPD also tends to have a higher frequency of showing up in autistic people, especially autistic women.
In conclusion, people hate Ashley Graves because of how well-integrated ableism is in society, as well as the concept of a 'perfect victim'.
#ashley graves#tcoaal#tcoaal psychoanalysis#the coffin of andy and leyley#leyley graves#tw grooming#tw neglect#psychoanalysis#op is autistic#electra talkz#tw ableism mention
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I'm gonna be honest: I'm glad Harold Ramis decided that Egon and Janine didn't become a couple. Although I love Janine, I don't like the way he sees Egon in the novelization. As far as I understand, the novelization is like the original ideas, more details and deleted scenes and dialogues and there were some paragraphs that made me go like these: 😐🤨???
She literally considered he was cute in an intellectual sort of way and brainy guys like him were absent-minded and needed guidance (and she liked to guide):
The Janegon moments in the novelization that didn't appear in the movie showed that Egon hardly understood Janine's needs and the way he interacts with her seems way too forced, including the "nice shoulder blades" thing (according to a part, hugging was something unfamiliar for him). I am not a fan of the way they portrayed him as someone who hardly interacted with women in his life and Peter Venkman had to give him tips.
Come on, Egon's 40 years old; in a part of the novelization they said Egon spent his teenage and young adulthood studying people's behavior 💀??? That must have included how to interact with any gender...
Also, maybe this is my interpretation but I don't see Janine and Egon having many things in common. Like, they obviously care about each other deeply but is that enough to make a relationship work? At least for me, I NEED to have interests in common with my boyfriend because neurodivergent people connect way better with others through our special interests.
I personally prefer them as close friends, there is no need to force a relationship when just one of them have romantic feelings. Their first interaction made more than clear that Egon noticed that Janine was trying to to go further so he just gave short answers like "Print is dead" and "I collect spores, mold and fungus" to let her know that he's not interested on her in that way.
Harold Ramis particularly requested that Egon didn't date Janine in 'Ghostbusters II', so I am praying that they continued to accept his wishes in 'Afterlife'.
One of my favourite things about Egon's character is that, despite being portrayed as an autistic person, he picks up on Janine's attraction to him and gently tries to hint that he isn't interested in her like that. I know Egon and Janine are together in Real Ghostbusters, but in film canon I hope Egon and Janine stay as good friends.
I hope that Janine ended up marrying Louis Tully. Please.
#Ghostbusters#egon spengler#autistic egon spengler#janine melnitz#just me rambling#I have nothing against Janegon#it's just that I didn't like the novelization
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emotional motion sickness
General g/n headcanons; mentions of abuse dynamics in relationships, talks of physical, emotional, and mental abuse, if these topics trigger you please dont read
so I'll start with the idea of being on earth with Jimmy, I'd like to imagine that curly set you two up, hoping that you'd rub off on him
Your first date you meet and you're charmed by him, he's a sarcastic, flirty, handsome man with a sense of humor (albeit a dry sense of humor)
people like Jimmy are VERY charming and can pretend to be a certain person to draw you in. Then slowly up the ante until you feel trapped
He starts off cute, comes a little late to dates, clothes wrinkled, flowers bent. But hes apologetic and you cant help but feel bad for him
As you get deeper into the relationship the faults start to show.
Maybe a year or so in he starts asking about friends. Nothing too dramatic just an occasional "who's that?"
And at first its cute! He's just worried and protective. But it slowly gets more and more controlling.
One of the first things an abuser will do is isolate you to make it hard to leave them. so he asks you to stop talking to a few people, coworkers or group project friends.
if you question it he will get very intense very fast and uestion why your so hesitant to cut them off.
"is there something your not telling me?" He asks, he had both arms caging you down onto your armchair, his body leaned down to look at you closely. "No!" You exclaim sitting up as best you can with him so close, "I just think it's weird you suddenly aren't ok with me and danny talking anymore!" He laughs but it holds no humor if the look on his face is anything to go by "I know you probably didn't notice but he's constantly flirting with you, he obviously wants to fuck you." you begin to mentally look over your conversations in your head, had he? Was there something you missed? Something misinterpreted? "Really?" You ask, doubting if you really should be talking to a man who liked you while in a relationship. "yes! that's why I don't want you talking to him, he's trying to take advantage of you." you sigh before nodding "yeah, sorry I... didn't even realize" "its fine" he says softly holding the back of your head to lead you into a kiss "I just want to keep you safe".
so you bite and agree, you slowly begin to cut less important people out. As you do he'll pavlov you, with each friend you pick off he'll love bomb you. kisses, hugs, gifts, sex, sweet talk, pet names, bragging about you. He'll play into whatever you want as long as you follow his rules.
When it comes to the biggest hitters like family, close circle friends, and best friends he'll wait a few years to cut them out
He'll plant ideas of a us vs them mentality.
they just want to break us apart.
they're jealous of us.
your too good for them.
they don't treat you right.
they're the abusers.
i'm the only one who REALLY loves you
and after so many years with him, despite your ups and downs you cant help but do what he says because you just don't see him as this horrible monster everyone's making him out to be.
you love him and he loves you!
people just don't understand your dynamic,
they don't know him like you do.
when it's bad its bad but when it's good its so damn good.
and his lonely act works well too, besides curly he doesn't really have any friends.
he has acquaintances and coworkers, but friends? no.
if you broke up with him he'd have no one. and you've been together so long it'd be such a jump. going from deep conversations and intense love to asking about a person's favorite color? fuck that.
when he has you were he wants you that's when all hell breaks loose.
you barely go anywhere and if you do he either needs your location the whole time (probably makes you get life360) or has to be with you, hand on hip, glaring at anyone who talks to you.
when you two get invited to parties he'll play nice (after all he is in public) and let you roam.
you'll talk to people you haven't in a bit while he drinks and talks to curly.
and its times like that that makes the worst moments feel worth it.
speaking of the worst moments.....he's a very jealous person, he constantly is worried if you're cheating on him.
he'll argue with you and wont relent till your crying and exhausted.
then once he thinks you've proved yourself he'll scoop you up and let you cry on his shoulder. murmuring that he loves you and he sorry.
he'll open up, say he knows there's something wrong with him, and he's sorry hes like this, that you deserve better and he's trying.
"I'm sorry" Jimmy softly says into your ear. cradling you like a baby in his arms. your arms are around his neck, your eyes burn with drying tears and sleep, your nose is stuffy, your throat is dry from yelling and sobbing for hours. the rocking isn't helping your sleepiness. "I'm sorry, I know there's something wrong with me. Please don't leave me"
trying to leave in these situations is probably the worst thing you could do
now I'm not under the impression that Jimmy would be overly physically abusive given that his character is all about the subtleties of abuse.
BUT! I do believe he'd restrain you, push you, grab you harder than needed, ect. If you tried to leave him while arguing.
He doesn't like you taking control of the situation and it gets him very mad, as a result he'll force you to stay where he wants.
But he doesn't explicitly hit you as that would leave marks
he wouldn't want you to be bruised because that would bring suspicion to the safety of your relationship.
And most of the relationships abuse is kept to a level that could pass as normal to others.
I think having a friend like curly in these moments that always tries to smooth things over without any bridge burning would definitely lead to him unintentionally gaslighting you about it.
side note: ok this is the first time I've really written in this format, made a romantic x reader, AND this is also my first time posting x reader onto Tumblr lol. apologies if this is ooc I never refreshed myself on Jimmy's character simply bc I don't have the time for that lol. this is also based off of my general knowledge of abusive relationships. if anyone wants more plz let me know i really wanted to try writing fanfiction seriously for a while now lmao, bye :)
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Hero, villain god 36
(Prev) (Next) (First)
*Mumbo's pov*
Ever since that weird conversation you had a few days ago you have been looking into who mother spore could be ...You honestly thought it would be...well, not easy per say, but you thought you could at least find something on who mother spore could really be... Anything on her identity.
Perhaps mentions of her prior to when she appeared in your lab? Or another criminal with similiar abilities? A vigilante? An hero? But you found nothing of the sort, you found exactly zero mentions of anyone that could even come close to resembling her in description.
She is quite tall so you restricted the search to that general height but you found nothing, you expanded the search and still nothing. You found cases of people with mushroom or spores or even decay themed abilities but none of them resemble Mother Spore's. Maybe her powers is actually a very hidden type of technology? If so you must be much more ignorant of technology then you thought yourself to be. Maybe a mutation of some kind but if so why is it not recorded anywhere.
You were always a bit suspicious of her considering how she quite literally dropped into your life so suddenly but this... This is truly baffling, It's like she didn't exist and then just appeared one day in your lab...
...
...It's a bit enticing even, she has built this idea that's she's the brawn to your brain...the power to your mind... but she's clearly extremely well versed in covering up her traces or is in contact with someone else who is.
It's fascinating on an intellectual level but it's also terrifying on a personal one.
You were already suspicious of why she would need access to your network when you still didn't know she had managed to scrape off everything about her from the entire internet but now that you do knoe It's doubly as suspect... It seems you'll have to keep her extremely close....You have to know more...no, you need to know more. For your own safety at the very least.
*Cub's pov*
Grian is... Well, you don't particularly trust him yet, trust is not given easily especially by you and he's been in your life for a very short time.. looking at the calendar It's not even been a few weeks since you've met him and you talked like twice in that time.
He looks like a good guy so he has that going on for him, polite, pretty smart too as far as you can see... Scar has really taken a liking to him and now he's even met his sister and her friend group.
...You are happy for him of course, he deserves to have people outside of you to turn to, but it's hard to ignore how risky of a situation it is. It's not just Grian anymore, It's a group of strangers neither you or Scar know anything about...and even if they really are as good people as it seems they are from a glance there's always going to be the risk of Scar revealing to them too much and blowing both of their covers. It's anxiety inducing more then anything...
Still you decide to tolerate Grian for now, Scar might be oblivious at times but he's a good judge of character most of the time, so if he likes the new guy that much you'll give him a shot.
...
Then comes the medical examination, Scar thought it would be ideal for you to do one to Grian as well since you already do his pretty regularly. You can see the merit in that and agree easily, it would be easier to do both instead of letting the association do Grian's and then having to deal with them more then you already have to.
Which is what brought you here...with a machine breaking the moment you tried to analyze Grian's blood and multiple dna tests result coming out empty.
That is... definitely not normal. You have heard of powers changing the structure of dna before but never to this extent. It's not unheard of maybe but still, weird enough to keep on your mind, there might be more to Grian's power then it seems and knowing what could be helpful in the long run. You really hope there isn't something nefarious going on because you don't want to think of how Scar would react if there was.
"Scar?"
"Uh? Yes?"
"There were some complications with the tests"
"Oh no! Is anything broken??"
"Nothing important don't worry...just, bring Grian back for another visit soon. It's important."
"Alright!"
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Catfisher!König Part 3
Part 1, Part 2, ..., Part 4 (surely will come)
Meow meow, I can't sleep, so here is.....
PART THREE, YUPPIE
Warning: Suggestive content, brief mentions of pornography, low-key incel behaviour, some sex talk, just a guy being loser, a little stalker behavior, a little obsessive, please be 18 or older if you read this, or just don't tell me you're minor, I can't stop you from doing anything tbh.
This is only fiction, please remember.
Three months spend texting eachother, and the intentions slowly changed. Fuck, they changed vastly.
Who would have realised the guy that's formally know not to care for any female validation, that has very conservative views on women, and refuses to talk with women just because he believes he's better -fucking virgin ass- actually fell in love with a girl that he always mocked for dressing so feminine.
That's some funny shit if you ask me.
Haha, incel likes bimbo! Wohoho!
Ahem.
From just wanting nudes from the pretty girl, he started to get genuinely interested in every little aspect of your life. You got new textbooks? Those are his her favourites of course!
Woah, the new set of markers. Surely the saturation must be great on those, write his her name down in different colours just so she can see if it's really that great!
You went on a date? Girl, please. He was an asshole! He didn't open the café door for you? You REALLY should block him. Maybe date someone taller.
What does height have to do with opening doors? A lot, really! Please just date the tall guy in your school.
He was starting to fall down that comfortable blanket if lies do much he started to genuinely believe you are best friends. He started being nicer to you in person. Which caught you off guard.
Oh, he brought a delicious pastry for the class just because? What a coincidence, just yesterday you told Alexandria that it's your favourite!
The grown ass college student started to get swooned. Well, he is swooned.
And you two have grown so close over this time, it's just girl talk when the topic starts to go into sexual direction.
Surely asking what your favourite sex position is, is normal between friends. Yeah. He- I mean she enjoys sex shower. I mean shower sex. Ehm.
Surely, you would like it too! Yeah...
It came to a point that hey, what about a meet up?
He fucking stilled. A meet up??? With you? As someone who doesn't exist...?
And how does he get out of this mess now....
Tell the truth? Haha... No.
You couldn't ever look into his eyes if you found out the big weird austrian student that really loves war actually catfished you into giving him literally every information anyone needed to blackmail you.
Hold on...
Blackmail.
Information to blackmail.
Lol, did I promise you guys smut in part 3? Sorry guys, I get too yappy. 😇
I swear smut will come somewhere. Surely.
Yeah....
Part 1, Part 2, ..., Part 4 (surely will come)
#konig#könig call of duty#könig cod#könig x reader#könig x you#könig mw2#i'm trying#konig cod#konig mw2#konig x reader#i'm sorry#i really am#It will come#You will fuck#I promise#Just not yet
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It was almost tragic how multi-faceted and layered Connor's torment was, and how encompassing and reassuring his bliss at the very same time. At a quick, brief and shallow first glance, the young man leaving Alexander's office was beaming with joy. Those who didn't know the two of them would probably not even guess that he was the councelor's patient - and after all, with his file being gone from the other man's office, the evidence of such a connection had suddenly vanished. To any observer, Connor was simply an enamored young man, his wide smile and devoted glances at Alexander probably obvious even to the most shallow of observers. Nobody without good reason would even dare to look any closer, let alone close enough to notice the emptiness in Connor's gaze whenever he glanced at anything but the man at his side. Almost as if the world around him was barely more than something he subconsciously perceived in the background, moving through his surroundings with no piece of mind to pay any attention to anything but Alex.
The panicked, tortured soul that had been subdued by the man he'd fantasized over and trusted in, was gone even further. Connor's sense of self felt too weak to fight through the hypnotic haze that kept his fears and reason sealed away, and the ease and comfort of fully giving in and letting the other take control made a large part of his psyche even more unwilling to let those unwelcome, horrible truths back into his conscious mind. Of course the sociopath's horrific words resounded deep within Connor's brain as Alexander confessed how he'd stalked him until today, how the privacy and safety of his dorm room had been nothing but an illusion, how it had not been just a figment of his imagination that his underwear kept going missing. If Connor's true self ever fought its way back to the surface, maybe those realizations would make him feel sick, but the hypnotized doll he was right now barely showed more of a reaction than a twitch in his fingers, still smiling like a freshly deflowered virgin in love.
Obediently following Alexander's instructions, the student hardly even regocnized that he was being abducted; of course, even if someone had observed them, it was hard to argue that he was anything but willingly leaving everything behind. And if Connor was to be asked right now, there was no question, no doubt in his mind - his 'friends' had left him, had bullied him and then died, so of course he was happily following the one and only person left in his life that loved and would take care of him. Nobody else mattered. Nothing. No thoughts. Only Master and his cock. And so the idea of his own kidnapping didn't even cross Connor's mind, just like he never questioned where they were even going. He simply followed wherever Alexander wanted him. And when they began driving, Connor felt delighted, simply because the adrenaline and excitement of accomplishment was radiating off the other. The younger man didn't understand it, but that did not matter. Only Master mattered.
He was barely paying attention to the road, his locked-away conscious self having little to no chance in memorizing where they were driving as his eyes were glued to Alex, admiring his lover's features, the perfect physique that was hidden underneath those clothes... the hard, heavy, pulsing cock he could feel yearning for him through the fabric as his face was pulled over and Connor happily moaned as he inhaled the scent of the sociopath's crotch. "Yes, Master", he cooed, kissing and caressing Alexander's bulge, fingers unzipping the man's pants and reaching in with eager yet gentle motions, the hypnotized eyes of the brunette glistening with arousal as he found and pulled out what he was looking for. "Only Master's cock...", he repeated, giving said cock a stroke as it emerged from the other's unzipped crotch, licking along the oversized length and wrapping his pretty lips around the end, beginning to eagerly bob on the therapist's fat member. For a brief moment, just the slightest bit of teeth brushed against the shaft, maybe a fragment of Connor's consciousness aiming to break free and fight the hypnosis - but the moment faded as quick as it had come and the student's eyes were void of any conscious thought once more, filled only with pure lust and devotion.
As the two finally exited Alexander's office; they were the image of a glowing pair- all smiles and pure delight. Nobody could guess from looking at the two that one of them was a cold-blooded serial killer and the other was under a months-long hypnotically induced sex haze. Alexander made quick. precise work of cleaning the office- using bleach wipes and neatening everything back to where it had been before their tryst, erasing any evidence of Connor being there. He then gathered the very few important items from his office- namely his laptop and his file on Connor; those were the only two things that connected him to anything more than being a regular counsellor. He stored both things in an expensive leather briefcase that held everything else he truly needed, which again, was minimal as the sociopath had planned and lived carefully to appear normal but was prepared to disappear without a trace at a moment's notice.
The campus was quiet- since the killings had ramped up so much, people were afraid to simply be out-and-about on their own so nobody was really around to see the two leaving together. Nobody noticed Alexander walking his mindless lover to his dorm room to help collect his bare essentials. He couldn't help but run a hand along Connor's bed, "The amount of times I've watched you jerk off right here ..." he mused with a smile, "The amount of times I've slipped in here to steal your underwear or smell your pillowcase ..." he sighed blissfully as though he spoke of the most normal, delightful memories. "Just toss your things in here-" he instructed, snapping out of his daze for a bit to focus on the task at hand and tossing a black duffel bag on the bed, "Don't worry- We'll get you much nicer things; things fit for my beautiful bitch boy," he smiled, "We just need to make it look like you left of your own accord in case somebody decides to be a pain and come snooping," he explained with a sigh, now and then shaking his head and letting the younger boy know what to pack and what to abandon, leaving only college study-related items and other things that were unimportant. Connor's purpose in life would be him from now on, he wouldn't have need for material belongings.
He opened Connor's laptop while the other packed and emailed administration a notice that he was leaving the school and quitting his program before snapping the device closed and tossing it into the bag as well- he'd destroy it eventually, anything that could be used to trace Connor's whereabouts from this point would soon be taken care of. Once they were packed, including the spyware he'd planted across the dorm room, Alexander resisted the powerful urge to fuck Connor again as an poetic 'goodbye' to his former life and as a fulfilment to the fantasy he'd long had of doing that right here while watching the other through his secret cameras but his emotionless, computer-like brain told him they didn't have the time and it was risky to contaminate a scene with their joined DNA and also there was no time to waste.
Soon, Alexander escorted them to his vintage but unassuming vehicle, loading their belongings into the back, opening the door to usher Connor into the passenger seat, and then letting himself in and taking off into the early evening light. Once they'd hit the highway, it was all Connor could do not to let out a massive yell of accomplishment; he'd done it. He'd actually fucking done it. He looked over at Connor with a wicked grin and took his hand, kissing the back of it. All these long, arduous months of careful planning and ruthless killing had paid off- he'd won his prize. Connor was his and his alone. The thrill and the realization of it all were some of the first and only things Alexander had ever really felt and that was how his brain convinced him that this wasn't some heinous crime or psychopathic spiral- this was destiny. His blood was pumping and the excitement now manifested itself in another way ...
"Baby ..." he cooed over to Connor, "Be a good little boy and take care of this, will you?" he hummed casually before using his free hand that wasn't on the steering wheel and reaching it behind Connor's head, then pulling the other down and across their seats so that the other's head was in his lap, face-to-face with a his hard and pulsing crotch, still tucked beneath the layers of his clothing, "Remember ... 'No thoughts ... only Master's cock'."
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i should get a shirt that says "I survived a homoerotic teenage girl friendship and all I got was this lousy t-shirt '
#i miss her sometimes#we're not even really friends anymore that's the saddest thing#there's this one line in a song that's like “maybe I would have said somehow if I knew we wouldn't keep in touch” and yeah that's it#I didn't wanna ruin our friendship by telling her I had a crush on her#but our friendship or at least the part where we were really close ended long time ago#and I miss her#because i think under different circumstances we could have had something#if I had realized I lied girls like a year earlier and if she didn't plan on moving away after high school and if if if#and now we barely talk and when we do it's always me reaching out and it kinda pisses me off#because I liked her so fucking much and I genuinely valued our friendship and I'm sad that not even that is really here anymore#ugh#i really don't miss school thank god that is over but I wish I could have stayed close with the friends I had back then#because I tried so hard to keep them in my life#oops that was kind of a long rant#whoops#personal
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What do you miss most about Pittsburgh?
Oh gosh, that's a question! I mean aside from the obvious answer of my old dance buddy lettia or naeem.
I miss pittsburgh's community, specifically the very music and art oriented one i was in. There's community here in LA but its all about fame, and money, and celebrity, and how you can use other people to get ahead. Just the other day i saw an influencer i actually kinda admired brag about meeting someone who out of respect for them + their privacy i have never never mentioned because i met them as a friend first. And it felt so weird seeing this person i know be used as click bait for the influencer's hits/likes/subscriptions. It kind of jolted some reality into me about how this city operates even in the smaller circles i run in. Its like the vibes in LA are all about 'being someone' and self importance. If someone is only going to respect me for my money (or disrespect me for my lack of money), or who i know, or credits to my name, i dont think i want their respect anyway.
Pittsburgh though - nobody was anybody in pittsburgh so we didnt fucking care, lol. It was a lot easier to go to things, to feel connected. There was an emphasis on diy, where it didnt matter who you were or who you knew if you had a good idea there was a chance it could happen. There were things like Art All Night and the various music festivals in the different neighborhoods. I was most connected to the music scene so i miss the casual afternoon concerts in someone's tiny apartment with everyone crowded around the band. The basement parties, the dancing. Ted's rowhouse was on fisk street so when i lived there with friends i really enjoyed how much of a community space it was - people were always coming and going off of butler street, movie nights, human chess parties. It definitely could feel too small sometimes - literally everybody knew everyone and everybody dated everyone. The year i left two of my ex boyfriends were living in the same house and i cant tell you the number of 'male harem' jokes i got about that one. Or the number of times a dude wanted to date me and when i said 'no' i immediately got excluded from an entire friend group. But no matter how frustrating the smallness got, i still was also aware of how special it was. Its also mostly over - a lot of my friends from that time have since dispersed to other cities. I think moments like that are fleeting, but thats what makes them unique.
But even with all that said, you know what my favorite thing to do in pittsburgh was?
Driving
and ok ok that probably sounds stupid. And it probably does not help that im in LA where driving is now the second level of hell. But even compared to seattle or nyc or other places i lived, driving in pittsburgh was just so much fun and you cant recreate that anywhere else. I once saw a data visualization of the main cities of the US and places like LA and even NYC were nicely laid out squares but pittsburgh was just this insane clusterfuck pencil scribble, and thats truly it. Cause not only do you have over 100 bridges and lots of one way roads that will funnel you onto a bridge you absolutely dont want to go over but whoops guess you're going anyway, but this city was also built on a cluster of hills. Thats what makes up the various neighborhoods - and the roads that connect these hills through hollows and over forests - are the most confusing rat maze you can imagine. For every one way to go there's also probably a dozen other options and mentally calculating which route will be fastest taking into account traffic and distance and 'speed limit' is a skill only acquired after years of living in the city. And if you have a tiny car and nasc*ar level driving skills thanks to the multiple generations of engineers in your family....driving up and down those hills is just a joy. It also, uh, helped that I made my own hours so worked from 11am - 3am most days and avoided all traffic. And in the city proper the pigs arent allowed to r*adar so as long as you knew where the speed traps were you could...uhhh... Be lenient. I only ever got pulled over once and that was because one time in the spring of 2016 i went home from work early one night and these asshole hockey fans were taking up the entire street around the rink that would get me onto bigelow and connect me to lawrenceville. And since i couldnt go down that one street, becaues its pittsburgh, i had to go in the complete opposite direction to find another route home which took like an extra fifteen minutes. And yeah i got pulled over, started crying and explaining i was just trying to get home from work, and they let me go. But damn those hockey fans. :P (but also had i realized you could go hangout outside and watch the hockey game on giant screens with a huge crowd of fellow broke but dedicated weirdos, i totally would have loved that. Thats what pittsburgh is all about lmao)
Anyway one of my old friends moved from pitt to LA, and then he moved from LA to shanghai. And i once asked him would he move back to LA and his response was that he couldn't imagine living in LA again after living in a Proper City like shanghai. And he made it clear that he saw being able to 'make it' in larger and larger cities as like...a mark of his personal progress. But me? Im a small town girl unfortunately. I still dream about the day i can fuck off to live in a cabin in the woods somewhere.
#Proper fir tree woods though i do NOT miss stick season lmfao#I will say however#That there was this one particular bitchy girl in pittsburgh#Who was tragically best friends with one of my close friends#This college educated girl considered herself a model and intellectually above all the little people around her#And she said some nasty things about uneducated trade workers over dinner one night#And she couldnt understand why i got mad at her about that (because i went to carnegie so must be part of her exclusive club)#So afterwards my one friend kept the two of us apart except for when some event was happening#And like last year or the time before i was visiting pittsburgh and my friend invited me to this thing that i knew the bitchy girl would be#So i went all out. got my fanciest LA clothes#Let my hair dry straight put on my highest heels did my makeup as best as i can and made sure to name drop and mention *visiting from LA*#Oh bitchy girl was so jealous#I walzted into that event like i was the coolest person there and i could just see her fuming#So have i used my *LA* status for evil sometimes?#Heh maybe ^_^#look nicks biggest insecurity was that he never went to college#he read like a fish in water and was so incredibly clever but he didn't have much formal education#and even as recent as july he brought it up again#but i have always considered him one of the smartest people i know so i never understood why he felt he couldn't keep up with me#anyway yeah im gonna hate that bitchy girl for life it felt good to show her up#people like her are the ones who make people without the Right College degree feel bad about themselves
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river#means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep#one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named#melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come#here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do#anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river#knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to#choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel#in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the#and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask#doctor who#river song#amy pond#rory williams
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Hey, hi.
I just discovered your account with this post and I'm really worried, so I wanted to give you some support because you are a minor going through this.
First of all, you can report posts as harassment to minors! It's more or less (because I don't use Tumblr in English): report>other types> harm to minors> harassment to minors
I'm telling you that because I tried since I saw a very bad reblog in this post and wanted to do something without getting in a discussion. The problem is that for that option, the minor needs to do it (it actually asks that). Although it can be hard sometimes, so I just wanted you to know that you have that option so they don't bother you any more (also block that people).
Second, you didn't do anything wrong. Roll play can get out of hand and people can break boundaries. That it's not an excuse for their actions, it's just a fact (and happens out of rp but that is something else). Anything that makes you uncomfortable is breaking a boundary and you need to protect that boundary; closing asks is a good way 👍, vocalising the discomfort is also great 👌. If they don't stop, blocking and reporting is a way of protection.
I hope you can understand that this is not your fault, it's out of your hand here. You didn't do anything that made this happen, they are acting wrong and hurting you. Whatever their reason is, you don't deserve to be treated like these. You are not a slut or any bad word they may have used. You don't deserve to be sent art of yourself that makes you uncomfortable. Not only because you are a minor, but especially because you're a minor.
And, really hoping that you can see that this reblog that I saw is wrong and very hurtful:
You have your right to defend yourself from something or someone that hurts you. That includes someone's (bad) coping mechanisms. And it's not shaming to tell them that what they are doing is not cool and they need to stop or change their behaviour. Some things can't be controlled but at least consider not showing the person a fanart that is probably going to make them feel uncomfortable?
Also the second paragraph, in the context of having uncomfortable fanart being sent, is part of the harassment and maybe as a threat. Not sure about the threat because I don't have experience but thinking logically about the situation that you said, it may be. So, if you can, report it and block them (my recommendation).
Third, lean on a safe support group. Friends, family, mutuals, any one that can support you and listen to you will make this experience a little less stressful. Don't deal with this alone if you can. Anyone close to you that will not shame or blame you for this is a safe person to search for emotional support. It makes a big difference in stressful situations to have someone there. And maybe they will help you navigate and deal with the situation. Look for information about how to protect yourself. Even if you have to leave Tumblr for sometime to gather strength to deal with this. You can do it. You are a victim not the cause of this. Stay safe.
I will check on your blog to see how you are doing if that doesn't make you uncomfortable. And I will tell you any information that I find about ways to deal with this. You are a minor, this is even harder for you so any directions I can give you I will. Just take it easy, okey? Give yourself time and try to not read the hurtful reblogs that they may do.
And if you already knew everything I just said, that's great! You are doing a good job. Keep going.
Hey everyone! I’m really sad to make this post but my asks will be closed for a while. I’ve been getting harassed and I was even sent cheese pizza on my main blog, and I really didn’t think that it would transfer to this blog but it has. I want you all to remember I AM a minor, as well as a fictive in a system that’s on the younger side in general, and sending me cheese pizza art of myself is not cool. Calling me a slut in asks is not cool. Idk what I did for this to happen to me, but I guess I did something wrong.
#im gonna give you a little special tag so i can find you in my blog ;)#tommy the third#< there you go hope you like it!
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Something something about Spinel, Friede and Amethio, and how Spinel gets people to follow him through deception, while the latter two do so with honesty.
#as a follow up to my previous post. thinking about the three of them and their similarities and contrasts and.#anyway. spinel and friede both similar. yet friede is a natural leader and just has that charm that makes people follow him and respect him#and spinel does not ww he manipulates people into getting on board with him#the gradual thing of: honesty (amethio). deception (spinel).#friede is kind of in the middle. he used to omit information in chapter 1#(forgetting but also because i think he didn't want to worry others needlessly as the leader etc..)#he is getting better though. now he shares info openly.#and i think. amethio is close to friede when it comes to leading people#maybe he'll get on his level someday. but he already has zir and conia following him because they genuinely like him#he has these honorable and honest sides to him that make people stay. kinda like friede#i want spinel's backstory /now/. give it to me. what is his issue#i tend to imagine the opposite of some of friede and amethio's traits for him#so if friede makes friends easily and impact people positively#i feel like maybe spinel was just isolated. maybe even disliked. perhaps his smile was called creepy. he only had eevee etc#(at least it's easy to push these concepts in this direction for fanworks)#it's soo interesting to think that spinel specifically hit where it hurt for amethio#as in getting gibeon to lose his trust in him.. taking that away. is it envy.. or something else#is there anything you're hiding and not sharing with us spinel.. do you have issues pertaining to family maybe#i really hope that spinel's va comment about 'i look forward to knowing what kind of person spinel really is' will come into fruition tbh#we don't have the full picture yet.. i still don't know exactly what kind of character he is beneath it all#friede#spinel#character notes
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At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me
I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to
Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head
#the problem is that doing things my way is actually working well; it's just really slow and it's coming from a bad starting point#everything that makes me miserable was even more miserable growing up#you maybe see me and think that I'm doing really horribly; and that may be true; but I'm also truthfully at my peak right now#and frankly as much as I worry about it A LOT; I'm kinda still on the rise in a lot of ways#...I just take way too long to do things; I want to be quicker because a lot of this stuff isn't... it's not being slow and steady#it's being depressed and having trouble working on shit#but... when I do stuff my way the end result tends to be strong#I got a house in 2019 for instance... like in that economy; I feel like that counts as a pretty high roll outcome; you know?#the parts of my life I hate are all... it's like Marley in the Christmas Carol; I've got all these chains around me#and... about 80% of those chains are just my mom or my mom's choices... she blows through so much money all the time#it makes me want to die#but all that shit... it's the past haunting me and drowning me#but shit's better than it was and... I have more friends now that I did in the past; I'm closer to making money than I've been in the past#(part of it is that I kinda want to get shit stabilized in the household; be doing stuff like cooking before I try and sell shit)#(also understand that everyone in high school liked me... we just never saw each other outside of school)#(so it was a situation where I had 'friends'; by that standard everyone at school was a friend)#(but I didn't have a single person I was close with and I was totally isolated in a crowd)#(friend is just a word in english that has to cover a really really wide range of relationships)#(but these days I do have actual friends... just a shame none of us live in the same town... or even state; you know?)#(I like all the people I went to high school with; they all cared a lot and were very bad at it)#(couldn't figure out that like... just give me some company; that's a good 80% of what I'm lacking)#(...I think part of it was they were all stoners and I wasn't; so they felt like... eh... like something something)#(and when I say all stoners I mean... I think... easily 80% of the school; probably 90% and maybe higher were all stoners)#(it uh... was not an easy thing for the staff; cause they obviously all knew; but... figuring out how to best handle it)#(like hell; I wouldn't want to deal with that)#(also like 95% were smokers... you have to understand that most of these kids were rich kids)#(off the top of my head I can only think of 2 other kids who were poor... just... uh...)#(if I named the city the school was in; you'd probably be like 'oh... makes sense')#(I liked everyone there; everyone liked me... just... they were very bad at just basic stuff like spending time together)#(eh... you don't need to hear more)
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i think something that is important to me to remember is that there are small ways i can do things to spark joy for myself and others without waiting for someone else to do it... (conjures up little sparklies from my hands) life is so whimsical!!!
#lizzy speaks#for full transparency i cannot make sparklies emit from my hands unfortunately#but i can imagine that i can and i think thats cool i'm like a swaggy little magician#anyways sometimes i see announcements for games and im like#ok! cool! some people are very excited and happy. so awesome!! happy for them!!!#but personally i think i've found much more joy in doing my own thing#and it's ok if you're not particularly enthused about a new thingy because sometimes you still have other things you can do#or you have other things that feel much more gratifying to you. and thats ok!!!#this is a vague toward reload and splat3 (specifically splatfests)#it's become clear 2 me that reload is curating a different experience for pee 3 with the new mechanics they introduce#and i didn't realize how attached i was to how fes's mechanics (tiredness + fusion spells) can inform's one characterization of kitaro#until i kept seeing the new things for reload. still interested in reload's alternate interpretations but wont be following the news closel#and for splatfest. turf is not my favorite mode in splat by a long shot' but at least i can salmon with friends! or play another game#i think it's always important for me to remember that not everything will be for me and that's a good thing#when i see things that dont excite me as much. it reminds me about what i care about the most and to remember to hold those things close#i can make my own fun with my own little creations i don't need to wait for games to host events for me i can just draw silly little guys#or i can choose to make silly little clownery happen on my own terms and i think thats neat#even if i'm not hyped about something that others are hyped about that's okay because i'm nourishing myself and that's really fucking cool#and hey maybe i will find the joy in those things eventually. or not! and thats ok. who knows!! anything can happen!!#anyway if you read all of this thank you :3 and i hope that you will always be able to find your way to find something that excites you
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That was true. People really did change. Tanner had never bought into the saying that said otherwise, though she admitted that change really only came about something grand altered the course. For her it was having her heart ripped from her chest. She's always been a bit hard edged and sarcastic yet had a care for life and a zest to enjoy it. Until someone she gave her heart and soul to had looked her in the eyes and told her they didn't love her anymore. Something like that really changed a person. "I haven't been that person in a long time, Bear, I doubt anyone would believe you if you tried to tell them otherwise." Truthfully, it was easier for people to think she was callous, difficult, an asshole. It meant that no one would try to get close to her.
The buzz of the diner and her fingers curled around a ceramic mug of coffee slowed the white noise in her head. "I'm not The Grinch," she laughed softly between them, a shake of her head at his tease. "I always enjoy the holidays with my family." They were small but tight-knit. Their traditions were old fashioned but it meant the world to her, Tanner's parents were good loving people. "Speaking of that, do you want to come over for Christmas dinner? I think it'd shock my mom." They'd been close friends as teenagers but life had taken them in different directions. "Of course I want to spend time with you." Brow narrowed and skepticism on her features Tanner lightly bumped her shoulder into Bear's. "You're one of the only friends I have." One of the only that tolerated her. Because she wasn't soft and easy going, nothing all that flowery about her. "Alright, alright. I might get a waffle, though. Or maybe biscuits and gravy."
"People change." He half shrugged and tossed a lazy smile in Tanner's direction. They'd known each other since they were kids. Had gone to school together and seen each other through pretty much every stage of life. "But I know better than almost anyone how much of a softie you are," Bear added, leaning in with a grin.
For a few spots of quiet settling between them, something easy and comfortable, Bear sipped the hot coffee and let it warm him from the inside out. The cold outside didn't bother him the same way as it did most. "You must be feeling the holiday spirit," he teased back after she'd nudged him and suggested something they hadn't done in years. "Are you actually wanting to spend time with me?" Blue eyes sparkled under the yellow, old fashioned lighting of the diner as he gazed at the beautiful Tanner. There had been a time their friendship had been quite strained but he was so happy they'd gotten past those dark days. "I could never forget and a promise is a promise, but lets get some pancakes while we hash out the details, yeah?"
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the new genre of oc drawings: Mani spying awkwardly at people dear to her, to their dismay (that's a pencilcase and pen)
context to the strange family tree: Mani and Soto are biological strangers, were (younger) aunt and (older) nephew after two relatives married, a legal scuffle over Mani's mistreatment later and they're siblings now.
Despite his denial Soto does see Mani as family, but because of how young he had to take care of her he's conflicted on what type of family she would be, a niece or a sister or a daughter. He feels robbed of his youth at just 26 but also feels guilt due to inaction
Inaction for what? Not even he knows for sure, but it's a constant hunch that everyone, including him, failed at something extremely important by forgetting about it
#doodle#drawing#also he's into carving wood#he didn't have friends but that was the thing that helped him feel closer to the world as he portrayed it#... until a classmate made an insanely better sculpture than him for a school project#(the homework wasn't about wood so he got the lowest grade)#that's the first autistic he would meet in his life and it drove him up the wall#they also became friends#so chummy to the point it connected him to the world better than wood carving#because it's all about being close-up and personal with the subject#not quite about the portrayal alone#maybe because he's good with knifes and had good grades he wanted to be a surgeon#and because the money is really good he would say#but Clau is certainly more invested in people's well-being than he realizes#claiming that taking Mani in as a sort of experiment to see if someone like her can survive#and then going above and beyond to make sure she has a tolerable life and his support at the very least...#not the most uninvolved thing from mr. nurse over here#he can be apathetic but not this time#there is a bit of resentment because he's stuck as a nurse instead of a surgeon because of Mani#and because he's not her dad and feels too young for it#but none of what matters carries true ill will#i like him#please do like him too
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