#or at least that he doesnt have the full story of what happened to them

[scattered-winter]

I think my favorite thing abt this rewrite so far is that I get to write everyone as they are at the very beginning (mentally unstable) and things only get worse from there <3

[charliemwrites]

what if Price is literally the only one to come out of a mission unscathed so while Ghost, Soap, and Gaz are in the infirmary, Price has to go take care of reader?

Oooooh now we’re talkin’ anon. A couple people said price was mean when I introduced him to reader….. what do you guys think this time?

You know before the door even opens that something is Wrong. You know because Simon is late again and last time he was late, Johnny came to babysit.

It’s not johnny that comes in the door.

You happen to be slipping from the kitchen with a bowl of marshmallows when Price walks through the door. You freeze. He freezes. Slowly, his eyes fall to the marshmallows in your hand… and your puffed out cheeks stuffed full of them.

“Have you had dinner?” he asks.

You look very far away. “Mmm….”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Mm!” You make a show of chewing.

He huffs in amusement and drops his bag at the door. Your eyes flick to it with concern, shuffle on your feet when he moves closer.

“Remember me?” he asks when you finally lose your nerve and take a step back.

You swallow the last of the sugar and nod. “Captain Price.”

“Attagirl.” He beams. “You can call me Price, little one. Or John, but only if you’re nice.”

You frown at him, hugging you bowl to your chest.

“Don’t give me that look, I’ve heard all of soap’s horror stories.”

You huff, scrunch your nose. Where is Johnny, anyway? Simon said that he’s the designated “babysitter.”

“Everyone’s laid up in hospital right now, so it’ll just be me and you.”

You can’t keep the nervousness off your face.

“H-how long…?”

“Few days, at least.”

You frown. That’s not specific enough. He doesn’t explain further.

When he takes another step forward, you take two back, heart starting to pick up.

“Dunno why you’re so afraid of me, little one, but look. I just want to get some proper food in you, yeah? You look like you haven’t eaten and Simon will have a fit if he finds out.”

You swallow and nod, but don’t creep closer. He doesnt press this time.

“Alright, how’s this, you keep snacking on those while I get dinner ready. But you come eat when I call, yeah?”

Seems… reasonable. You nod and retreat to the couch, eyes never leaving him.

It’s not, uh….. easy. You can’t pinpoint why you’re so skittish. He’s not done a thing to make you afraid. Not one! Is even a pretty decent cook.

Later that evening, you try to retreat to your room, but he click his tongue, calling your attention. He holds out a hand, coaxing.

“C’mon, stray. Don’t you wanna watch your shows?”

You try to find excuses, but he just sits there patiently, watching. Eventually you cave, creeping closer. Hesitate at his hand, just out of reach. He wiggles his fingers teasingly. You carefully slip around to the other side of the couch and curl up.

He allows it for a little while. At some point he gets up, gets a water that he sets in your hands. When he sits down again, it’s much closer than before. You finally find something like annoyance, grumbling and trying to press into the arm of the couch.

“Listen to you,” he chuckles, reaching for a scritch. “So dramatic.”

And this time you do get your teeth in him. Bite down and then almost immediately realize what you’ve done. You go still, mouth still clamped around the meat of his thumb.

When your eyes venture up to his, he looks… amused. “Are you happy with that choice?”

You shake your head very carefully.

“Would you like to change it?”

You carefully unlatch, running your tongue over your teeth.

“There a reason you’re biting?”

You always have a reason to bite, the hell kind of question is that? You scowl.

“Too close. Back up.”

“Simon says you need cuddles.”

You hmph. “Simon’s not here. I don’t even like cuddles.”

“Oh, we’re lying now is that it?”

You make a frustrated noise and try to climb off the couch. Price sighs and snags your shirt, keeping you from getting far.

“Stop it!” you cry, pressing your hands to your face. “I’m scared because you keep pushing! I want Simon. I wanna be alone.”

His expression softens. “I know, little one, I’m sorry. I have to push because I need to make sure you’re being taken care of. Can’t do that if you’re hiding away, understand?”

You make a helpless noise, tears boiling over.

“Are they okay? I want them to be okay, even if they’re the worst.”

“They’re alright, lovely. They’ll be here to visit you soon. Come here? I don’t have to touch you, but just come sit and calm down. Sip some water.”

You do as your told, upset and exhausted. Price keeps his word and gives you a little more room, not touching. Even offers a pillow for you to hug. It still smells like Simon.

“Now look. I know I’m not Simon, but I can’t do things the way you like if you don’t give me a chance to try,” Price explains. “No more running. Compromise with me.”

You nod, and even go so far as to press your knee against his thigh. He nods, offers you a smile that is… rather nice now that you can manage to look at his face.

“Good girl.”

“That’s for Simon.”

He pauses, looks thoughtful. “Attagirl?”

You nod.

“See? You’re alright. Now settle in. One more episode and then bed time, yeah?”

You nestle down into the cushions. Don’t make it one more episode before conking out.

[goomyloid]

PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN

i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing

i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far

tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh

ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn

so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.

back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.

im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?

jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless

thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise

and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?

no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…

she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.

[artdcnaldson]

hi boo, as promised, my dodge mason thoughts :))) i was cooking up a storm lol (its very long, apologies)

dodge mason… the cowboy that you are. i need this man more than anything. something about that man just makes me wanna be a sweet innocent christian country girl lol. this is much more cheesy and cutesy than my previous submissions, he just makes my knees weak fr (but also i need him desperately)

im attaching this (hopefully it works) cuz its exactly how i picture him here

alright, picture me this, youve just moved with your dad to this nowhere town in texas. you know no one here, theres nothing to do, youve already graduated high school before the move. its just summer, in a strange place, full of strange people.

maybe youre kind of a farmers daughter type? youve moved onto a ranch, your dad is really into rodeos and he gets you your very own horse. but hell if you know how to ride a horse that big. youd only ever ridden ponies when you were little. its sweet of your dad though, at least now you have a friend to pass the time with.

on one particularly hot day your dad decides that you should go into town a grab a cool drink and enjoy some shade. you settle on the cute looking diner, very fitting for a town like this. if you happen to notice the cute boy behind the counter you dont say anything about it. just steal a couple glances at him, maybe blush a little pink when ordering your shirley temple with an extra cherry. (tihi)

if he notices how pretty your flowy little sundress hugs your waist or sits on top of your thighs while sitting in the booth, he doesnt say anything either. he simply makes a mental note to find out your name, he's sure youre new, he wouldve remembered you if youd gone to the school senior year.

some time later he meets your dad at one of his rodeos (competitions? idk, i am not a country girl yall). spots him in the crowd, sees his opportunity to find out your name. they get to chatting, your dads all too happy to talk about you, his pride and joy. he happens to mention that youre wanting to learn to ride your new horse. dodge happens to offer his assistance. how can he resist an opportunity like that? theres truly nothing he would love more than teach you how to ride... a horse, of course :)))

when your dad had told you hed found a cowboy to teach you how to ride, you had expected another one of your dads friends. already made peace with the fact that it would be slightly awkward but ultimately worth it. but then he shows up, the boy from the diner. a cowboy, huh? definitely not what you were expecting. but hes wearing the boots and the hat, he certainly looks the part. hopefully he can play it too. (also i need him to call me darling and tip his hat, i need to have it)

you try your best to get to know him while he's teaching you, but he's not big on answering questions, instead redirecting them back to you. he does laugh, a beautiful, intoxicating sound, when you make a joke about his name being very fitting. dodging all your questions. (legit giggling to myself rn) he tries to tell you about the town, but he doesnt know much more than you, except this weird game he's heard people are playing over the summer...

he asks a surprising amount of questions about your life, you had pegged him as the quiet, stoic type when you first saw him at the diner. but this charming cowboy whos teaching you how to bond with your horse - because apparently its important for her to trust you before you start riding her - is a totally different story. when you invite him in for some fresh lemonade, hes chatting away with your dad about rodeos and all the places nearby he needs to visit. it wasnt at all what you had expected from him.

he starts spending a lot of time around the farm, teaching you to ride your horse, your dad inviting him to come for dinner, or really any excuse he can find to drop by. hes totally enamoured with you, he even feels a little guilty about it. youre so innocent and pure-hearted, he really has no business flirting with you the way he is. hes sure you cant even tell most of the time, that same sweet smile on your lips every time he speaks. totally unaware of the way his gaze lingers, eyes wandering, glued to your ass when youre wearing those damned blue jeans.

it takes you a long time to learn how to ride your horse, but eventually you get good at it. the day you finally succeed at riding around the farm without his help, you both dread that it might be the last time he comes by. but the next time he shows up on a horse of his own. tells you that he wants to show you more of the area, he takes you around, you talk for hours. simply just enjoying each others company.

the time after that you're already waiting for him outside, that morning you had gotten up earlier than usual, just to spend extra time picking your outfit, styling your hair, blushing your cheeks. this continues for a while. your dad starts to notice, youre acting like a little schoolgirl around him. dodge can tell, hes basking in it, he loves it. his compliments become more frequent and more intentional.

eventually your dad insists on bringing you to one of the rodeos, youre hesitant, youd rather not end up trapped in a long conversation with one of his old friends. but when you realize that dodge will be there, competing, you immediately agree to go. youve never seen him in his element like that. you make sure to wear his favorite dress of yours and style your hair just the way he compliments it the most.

its not like youre together, but you want him to know that youre there for him. to see him. and oh he knows. the second he sees you, he knows. ugh he can barely contain himself. youre standing right there, dressed up just for him, watching him in awe as he hang on tight to the rowdy horse.

need him to come out all sweaty and running high on adrenaline. picking you up and spinning you around, his pretty little thing, all dressed up for him, special for him. i need him to be so caught up in the moment that he put his hat on your head, kissing your cheek. luckily your dad had left with some buddies, because everyone at the rodeo knows what it means to wear a cowboys hat, everyone but you. you dont realize that hes staking his claim on you, making it clear to anyone who looks at you that you're his. not that you would have minded that part if youd known.

i need someone to make comment/joke about the cowboy hat rule, and dodge teaching you to ride, to which you enthusiastically, but oh so very cluelessly, mention that yes, hes been trying teaching you for a while now. but that youre only just starting to it right, something about it all being in the hips. i need you to look up at him confused when he just drags you away, mumbling something about that guy being an ass and promising to explain later...

what the fuck do yall know about my man dodge mason. my man my man my man. i havent stopped thinking about him since that fancam... i need to be the innocent farmers daughter who gets corrupted by the handsome mysterious cowboy, such a clique, but i need it anyway!!!!!

-🐞

NEEDHIMNEEDHIMNEEDHIM

This is soooo so sweet too like :(( he’s literally the only thing that makes Carp bearable :((

Just thinking about like having your first kiss with him like maybe a cute little picnic you set up in a little clearing hidden away from prying eyes 🥺

It’s all innocent and sweet— you made little sandwiches, and cut up fruits, and made him a pie. Little glass bottles of lemonade. It’s all so sweet, like you’d copied it off of an old movie.

And you’re talking his ear off and he’s so fine with that— he’s more of a listener anyway. Besides, you look so pretty with your hair in braids, a little sundress, glowing from the sheen of sweat on your skin.

He interrupts you mid sentence with a kiss, nearly knocking his teeth into yours. Your eyes stay wide for a moment, but you melt into him like butter. Its so chaste and sweet, but you end up on his lap and his tongue is in your mouth and his hands are palming your ass 🥰

#needthat

[saturnxlust]

HEYYY :P ik its been awhile my bad😔

Injured!Proxys+ben x Doctor! Reader

Tim Wright/ Masky

So this man is closed off, all of the proxys are😞

But hes not a idiot, he knows when his body has had enough and when he needs help

The only way you’d be able to help him is if its a severe wound or if your close with him

Im talking at least 2+ years of either dating or being friends..

Lucky you if you’ve made it this long!

Now actually helping him is difficult

Hes stubborn and doesnt like to admit hes in pain so when you stitch his sorry ass up or disinfect it, he winces but swears hes fine

Hes not fine

He also complains the entire time about how he could do it himself

Knowing full well he couldnt he just likes to be a pain in the ass

Brian Thomas/hoodie

Hes more lenient, he’ll let you help him even though we all know this man could do it himself

It wouldnt be good but as long as he isnt bleeding out he doesnt really care

Although hes the more lenient one hes still closed off and it takes atleast a year or more to be able to help him

The first time you actually clean up a wound he falls deeper in love

Its not covered in dried blood or anything!

Hes amazed at how gentle you were and found it cute if you were concerned about him

It gets to the point where he would make small bruises or cuts just to have you put a little bandaid on his finger or put pain cream on his bruise

He would totally make you kiss the bandages after, no matter how big or small😭

He has dinosaur bandaids and unicorn bandaids.

Toby Rogers

Oh boy buckle up

So he cant feel pain

Good luck☺️

He doesnt know hes hurt and most likely you wont either

If you somehow get him to wash his fuckass sweatshirt and seem to see a wound, he too, would be confused and surprised

He would find how concerned you were funny and laugh as you clean him up

If you yelled at him while he laughed he’d tell you to relax and that hes fine

Hes not fine

Like brian he would make small cuts and or bruises to have you patch him up

Back tracking a little, it would take a few months but not because hes closed off

He trusts you completely to not hurt him physically

It was just getting to see him without his sweatshirt on that was difficult

He keeps that thing on all the time no way your getting a peak at his scrawny ass unless you rip that sweatshirt off him or if you get…spicy.. with him..

Eyeless Jack

HAH

Good luck

He went to medical school

This man knows what hes doing

But like the others finds it funny that you want to help him

He doesnt need it but honestly

Hes too smart to get too badly injured, if he does it’s because he went awhile wothout eating and became reckless

I think that if he were to go more then a fee weeks without eating he would get reckless with how he got the kidneys

He wouldnt leave the victims alive and leave them in their bed naked with incisions on their stomach

When that happens he usually comes home with a bruise or scratches from the victims fighting back,

If you’ve gotten to the point that you know about that and accept it, not only will you be helping clean him up

You’d help clean his clothes up

Hes a clean guy dont get me wrong but after eating i think he would just need to sleep

And if your like me theres no way that 7’ tall demon is getting in my bed soaked in blood and possible guts ☺️

Jeffery Hodek

God i wish you luck if your with this man

He will let his wounds get infected for fun and he will enjoy it when you get upset (COUGH COUGH MOUTH CUTS COUGH)

He honestly couldnt care less and again, finds it amusing when you yell at him

Lets be honest his story is written awful so im gonna tweak it a litte

He did not get bleached, there was a explosion and some of his hair burnt off, it has since grown back a little but the burn scars are still there

So if you want to help him clean his mouth he’ll complain and tease you and taunt you but he’ll let you do it

..if you even want to after all that.😒

Benjamin Lawman

So he can’t actually get hurt…i mean unless hes like a zombie but he isnt, this guys a ghost

So i mean, unless he has some power to be human magically theres really nothing that can hurt him

Even you..

But you should find a way to hurt him, whether it be physical or emotional causr hes a jackass

And will make fun of you just to see you cry😒

Either bring up something from his past(he might get a little angry at that🥰) or threaten to throw him into a lake

You can’t actually throw him but..he..doesnt need to know that😇

[waddei]

full story behind these images (6.5k words open at your own risk)

pacing back and forth in the damp grass roman bit his nails waiting for tomas to pick up the phone.

“cmon…cmon…”  

his boots splashes on the muddy puddles, staining his soles.

“fuck..” 

a small click from the phone made him jump.

“tom thank god-”

“what do you want” his friend whisper shouts. voice as always a strange mix between quiet but assertive.

“i need your help” he says with far too little shame for someone calling in the middle of the night.

the wind hit his back harsher than before now, dark clouds swerved above him and he could only pray that the night ended with a storm. He can imagine himself, staring through the window at the flooding street with a grin, watching the rushing  mud and sand wash the town clean. 

tom doesn't  answer,but thats normal by now.

“its important” he begs, a ‘please’ goes unsaid for his own egos sake.

“lets meet at our spot shall we?” he sounds as frantic as his heartbeat feels, tom mooks him from the comfort of his home with an intentionally loud sip of his mug.

he doesnt let the distance stop him from feeling those hollow green eyes stare down at him

“what did you do” tom asks, impatient. for what though, roman doesn't know, that sense of hurry around him never faded.

he swallows as he looks down at his feet. resting next to them in the grass was the man's head, his nose had long stopped bleeding and lifeless eyes stared up at him in long ignored plea of mercy, they were starting to gloss over. roman bit back a sound of disgust.

“i cant tell you right now.just come here” 

tom gave a long heavy sigh “my brother’s sleeping” he said, like it mattered at all.

“do i look like i care?" he snarled “bring your bike too if you're coming”

the body below him caught his eye again. it was fairly tall,only a few inches short of himself,which was impressive in its own right. 

“two trash bags too if you happen to have any”

“two?” 

“yes… two”

tom huffed and the call was cut with no goodbye, again ,not unusual but it never failed to annoy him.

with a groan he squats down in the grass, careful not to stain his jeans neither green nor red. 

he feels unseeing eyes  burn his back.the body had not moved, obviously, its mouth hanged open after having its last words die on his tongue.

He doubts he would have had anything of value to say anyways.

The bastard,miserable not unlike himself, chose to go down swearing until the very end when, after the reality of his situation dawned on him, he began pleading and bargaining like he was talking to the devil. which, if you where to ask anyone else, he was.

his last words where as nonsensical as they were a threat.

Roman doubts it'll amount to anything, after all the plan was to not get caught.

as for the rest of ‘the plan’ as he likes to call it: it didn't have any more steps for now. at least until tom got here, he'll figure it out from there.

He looks up at the moon,bright and unusually big. She sat in the sky directly above him like an otherworldly spotlight parting through the clouds with little struggle,he revels in it even if just for a moment. his childish fascination with her never quite faded.

the wind continued to ruin his moment, swaying tree branches dangerously close to his face, his jacket wasn't enough to keep out the cold, shamefully he wrapped his arms around himself.

a leaf smacks him in the face. He rips the small branch out.

‘tom should be on his way already’-he thinks to distract himself- ‘if he's even coming’.

he's sure he will, where else would he go?

man of habit he is,he’ll find his way here eventually even if roman hadn't called him, he's sure of that.  hed make his rounds like he always does and, eventually, they'd meet again even if he didnt move an inch until then.

he doesn't want to move really,not at all. feeling like he's putting his life on the line if he leaves the corpse alone.

walking through the dense vegetation wasn't easy, he envies the ease tom seemed to have with it.

He makes it to a clearing in the bushes, a familiar checkpoint when traversing the landscape that tom had originally shown  him.

he skips right through it this time, heading for a particular tall tree that stood out against the horizon.

at its base was everything he ever needed. 

Tom, with his bike and two large trash bags pooling out of his cammo vests pockets.

his head snaps to look at him once he crosses the threshold to ‘their place’.

a nice, semi enclosed area by the base of a tree older than everyone they've ever meet where a fallen log made a makeshift bench. tom was sitting on it with his bike next to him. 

wordlessly and shielding his shaking hands he motions for him to follow and  Tom does so with a disinterested look.

roman begins leading him to the scene.

tom jumps over the bushes roman had gotten his pants caught on before. “what did you do?” he asks, verbatim as he had done so on the phone. roman ignores him and hops over a hole in the dirt, tom follows and he helps him haul his bike over it.

they reach the clearing, small drops of water already drizzling made each blade of grass sparkle.

 tom stares at them as he always does,roman assumes a certain fascination with it might exist but the boy's eyes remain as painfully neutral as they always do.

he does not bother hurrying him up as he too takes a moment to stare, only he looks up at the moon instead, trying to  steady his trembling hands.

they move on once tom grows bored of watching the ants or whatever. Roman leads him to the other semi cleared area where he knew the body was.

parting the bushes for tom like the gentleman he is, he lets him take a good look at the scene before saying anything. He takes note of how wide his eyes grow as he scans the ground in front of him. a horrified look begins to paint itself on his face.

it doesn't last much, the small flash of emotion was quickly drowned out by  his usual apathetic look. 

“what did you do?” he asks for the third time, carefully looking at him up and down with a hint of disgust showing through the ice.

“i think its obvious”  roman jumps over closer to the body and further away from tom.

“i fucked up..” he sais with his hands on his hips in a vain attempt a showmanship. “went a bit too far this time”

tom crouches down near his foot and near the man's head, his eyes go wide again when he makes eye contact with it. he watches incredulously as roman, nonchalantly,  nudges an arm with his foot.

“i think i might need some help” its a bold thing to admit for someone like him, tom doesn't fail to notice it.

greyish green eyes narrow on him like a hawk and with a single precise motion he throws the trash bags at his feet.

“im not touching it” he declares with a tone that leaves no room for argument. 

 that's fine, a sensible boundary even. all he needed was the bike and the bags. He opens up the folded bags and lays them in the ground next to the body while avoiding his friends stare.

“welp” he announces to no one, for he knows tom isn't paying attention. “lets get to work”

with more effort than expected he sits the man,dead as he was, against a short stump.

a  phone falls out of his pockets in the meanwhile, tom immediately smashes it below his foot. roman jumped “whats your problem?”

“they can track that” he stomps on it again for good measure.

“i could have sold it-”

“tell me what happened” 

tomas isn't someone he’d call intimidating. the boy was as thin as one can get and a full head shorter than him, but he was hard to read. impossible even. it scared roman in a very specific way he struggled to explain. 

he sighs, with the stars as witnesses he pulls the man's legs closer to his chest.

“well we were just supposed to fight. fucker slipped me a note with a date and place and i just came-uhmp!” He struggled with folding the arms over the chest.

“and?” tom pressed.

“well i had a bad day! and He was pissing me off more than usual..” he takes one last look at the mans’s face, ridden with  bruises and with an undeniably broken nose, his eyes couldn't glare at him anymore. “so once i had him down i just kept stomping on his head”

it felt strange to admit it so easily. tom winced and looked away back to the clearing.roman  took this as a cue to finally fit the first bag over the corpse's head. it covered it all the way to his hips as he expected.

the legs turn out to be much harder to lift than anticipated but he makes due without help. Once the two bags meet he ties them both together at various points until the body is fully secured inside, clumsily  wrapped like a home cooked meal.

he giggles at the thought,Tomas glares at him again.

"we have to get this out of sight somehow" he mumbles "do you still have that shovel in your garage?"

Tom doesn't answer, but he does not freeze either. He stares intently at him, watching him struggle to balance the body on the bike;he sets it with its legs between the front bar where he,while driving, could hold it still.

struggling to drive the bike through the bushes he almost misses Tom silently walking away.

"hey!"  he almost loses hold of the handles. "where are you going?" 

the boy jumps the bushes into the clearing. his hair  sways violently with the wind but Tomas never seemed to mind the way it covered his eyes at random.

"you want the shovel right?" he spits,not bothering to look back at him.

A smile creeps up his face and he bares his teeth like a child;far too giddy even for his own comfort he watches his friend walk away. 

in the meanwhile a thought emerges, unwanted and uncalled for, a little voice inside himself that trembled and stuttered at every word like he's sure he used to  'what if he tells on you' it whispers into his ear 'what if he tells his brother' 

he groans, pushing the bike up another bush. tomas wouldn't, he barely fucking talks in the first place. that won't happen.

the bag slumps forward,too distracted to catch it he lets the corpse hit its head against the front wheel.

he snorts imagining how it's nose must have flattened against it. his shoulders immediately sag after, there's a dirty feeling that comes with laughing at a corpse,no less one you've killed.

He reaches a big rock, too big to jump over,too heavy to lift and too annoying to push the bike around.

scanning the skyline he sees nothing but short,spiky bushes and scattered trees in front of him. the already dim lights of the town were completely lost from sight. the wind lifted up the sandy ground into his eyes but aside from that? it was a perfect spot.

He sets the bag on the ground, letting the bike and himself rest.

now he waits.

He can do nothing without something to dig with. He can get as many rocks out the way as he wants but that in the end doesn't take too long.

he looks up, the moon hadn't moved much from when he last saw her,now without branches to bother him the ghostly light pools over him.The stars shine brighter here in the open field, they occasionally peek from behind the rapidly moving clouds. He lets himself relax,leaning over the hard rock. even with the cold freezing his face a sigh escapes him, carelessly he kicks the bag away and rests his legs over another rock. thunders threatens to make the sky fall on him,he cant bring himself to care.

the beating inside his chest slows down for the first time since the man's head hit the floor. leaves and sand fly at his face so his eyes shut on their own.

'hes taking too long' the meek voice whispers. Tom's house was not too far, but without his bike it's quite the trip. He's not taking detours, his brother was asleep. 

‘shut the fuck up’ he mentally yells at it.

his head drifts and he slowly sinks down as he lets himself lay down more and more against the rock.

ignoring the way the cold bites at  his skin he rests.

with his eyes closed he can't tell if hes asleep or not until  he feels movement on the bushes.

before he can open his eyes to check he's smacked in the stomach with a blunt object.

roman jumps to his feet, hands balled up and ready to fight but before him stood tomas. with a shovel.

"thank God" his hands fall to his sides again.

Tom's hands extend, silently offering him the shovel.

he takes it with a quick remark."you scared me"  

tomas ignores him again and sits down on a different rock a few steps away, staring at the floor he snaps a branch off one of the nearby bushes.

"well!" he dusts his pants off, mostly to amuse himself "I better get to work now! 

the shovel was small, not meant for anything more than some mild garnering or playing in the sand. it stood to about his knee when he stuck it in the ground;still he had to make this work.

bit by bit he began shoveling the sandy dirt out of the way,he would have been sweating hadn't he already been freezing.

"y'know when you mentioned-" the shovel struck a rock, he struggled to lift it up again "having a shovel I wasn't expecting it to be so-" the rocks pops out the ground successfully "small"

he complains to the wind, because tom wasn't listening and even if he was he was not going to respond.

"should have told me it was more of a toy than anything-"

"there's blood in your hands now" tom cuts him off, fancying himself a cryptic bastard all of a sudden.

roman scoffs "no there isn't,I get any on me" 

the conversation, if you could even call it that, dies there. buried with the other guy most likely.

dry grass swayed, some of it stuck to his hair, some brushed at his arms and legs.

most of it he ripped off.

Tom's wordless stare burned on his back, but at least he wasn't alone. his own heartbeat set a rhythm for the shovel going in and out the dirt. the mount behind him grew bigger as the stars moved closer to the Horizon.

"it's 4:36 already" the boy  spoke up eventually.

roman took the last bit of dirt off the hole. "I'm almost done" carelessly he began pushing the bag into the it  with his foot.

tomas waits for the wind to quit loudly howling on their ears to speak again . "my brother wakes up at 5:30" 

he clicks his tongue, being a little meaner than he intended  "I don't care-" 

"he'll notice if I'm gone,give me the shovel back"

roman ignores him, instead hitting the bag with it, making it go down further into the dirt.

"give me 5 more minutes with it" he argues, not bothering to wait for a response.

quickly he covers the hole back up and, as soon as he dusts his hands and before he declares his work done, tom rips the shovel out of his hands. roman doesn't protest when their eyes lock for a second too long.

he stares at the ground where he knows the body is. only shooting a goodbye to Tom once he hears him pick his bike up.

he doesn't doubt the boy waved at him.

he always did.

He picked  his bike up and drove through the terrain like it was nothing, roman knows he has been here before, but he doubts he'll come  back.

confidently roman adds ‘corpses’ to his (mental and very short) list of things he knows  tomas does not like.it sat comfortably next to some classics like: ‘talking’,‘strawberries’ and  ‘staying still’

he giggles at it, although more concerning probably was that he couldn't name a single thing tom liked aside from walking and probably the color green, nor a single other  person he knew aside from himself and his brother.

a brother that to this day remained unnamed. 

He has fun imagining what he'd be like sometimes, there's plenty of time to kill during the day after all. 

‘he probably wouldn't like to meet you’ a weaker version of himself comments, he ignores it.

a single drop soaking through his jacket was enough to drag him back to reality.

the clouds had grown darker, they obscured the moon completely now.

he fills his chest with the salty humid air one last time before turning his back on the burial and heading back the same way Tom had.

he avoids the kill site and prays to no god in particular that the rain was enough to wash it all clean. it was starting to pick up now so the world might be on his side after all.

He reaches the port before he does any roads, the rotten wooden docks left much to be desired but he was used to them now, as a child he had enjoyed watching the crabs that lived under it bury themselves in the sand. the river led directly to the sea. Fisher boats rested on the sand,some new and shiny, most  rusted and abandoned for tourists to take pictures next to.

bright yellow street lamps made the raindrops much more evident. 

taking the chance he looked at his reflection in a closed storefront, he looked as he always had,just a bit more wet. his mask was getting a bit  uncomfortable but it stayed on.

the paved road was the longest way back but he takes it anyway,more mud on his shoes wouldn't be ideal. He blindly walks until he reaches one of the two main roads in the town with a stoplight in it.  he turns right, avoiding walking by it for too long, the backstreets being even more empty if this was possible.

thunder roared above him and a smile tugged at his lips. almost immediately the light rain turned into a violent outpour,but that didn't matter, he could see his house from here already.

doing his best to not wake anyone up Roman limbs to his window like he always does though this time the heavy rain helps disguise the noise.

before he sets foot inside,still sitting on the windowsill, he take this shoes off and carries them to the bathroom.

the jacket lands in the floor and his pants on top of the toilet as he tears his soaked clothes off without much care and almost trips trying to plug the hairdryer on.

he sets it balanced against a shampoo bottle and pointing at his jacket, hoping to dry it while he, using a random brush his mom used to clean the ceramic, aggressive cleaned the mud off his shoes in the shower. 

in the meantime the rain got worse-or better if you where to ask him. his mom's carefully pruned garden began to flood and soon so did the street. the dirt ones-he assumes-aren't doing much better.

he gets giddy at what that means for him tonight.

He dries his clothes, washes his hair and cleans his shoes. by the time he's done it's nearing 7am already.

he goes to sleep, the rain still falling above the house served well for white noise.

the trees outside slammed their branches into his window but his eyes remained shut.

the brewing storm outside promised flow but he didn't care.

his brother was snoring again, he could hear it even with the wind whistling louder and louder. javier was a heavy sleeper, tomas envied him for that.

deep breath after deep breath he failed to fall asleep for the third night in a row,though at least today he had more of an excuse. the branches scratching at his window are more than distracting.

he stares at the back of his eyelids for some time, he can feel the gears on his alarm clock ticking,the hands moving 

every second.

every minute.

every hour.

it marked 2:30 am.

too tired to sleep, Tomas springs out of his bed in frustration.

his feet blindly find his slippers and he's off to the hallway in less than 3 steps.

he takes a practiced route to the kitchen, practically blind he feels the texture of the floor change From the more textured tiles of the hallway to the smooth, cream colored ones on the kitchen. he pries his eyes open but the darkness doesn't get any better until he hits the light switch next to the door.

the wind makes the windows shake and creak, it drowns over the sound of the cabinet opening perfectly.

the movement is near automatic when he fills a small pot with water and sets it on the stove. tomas opens the gas tank and lights the burner on.

from a small box his mother had left them behind he takes a teabag while the water boils.

the kitchen small window leaked the same way it had been leaking since they where kids, tomas stepped over the small puddle to grab his cup from the cabinet and brew himself something warm.

as he blows on it, the phone at the corner of the room lights up. 

at this hour and  with this climate there was only one person that could call.

so,at this hour and with this climate tom let's it ring for a minute or two while stirring his drink.

roman is persistent, and eventually he lets himm get his way.

"tom thank god-" wind  came through the other end stronger than his voice.

"what do you want"

he hears roman swallow "I need your help"

aware of how those words burned his tongue yhe lets them sit in the air.

Uncaring, he waits for roman to get tired of waiting.

"it's important" he clarifies uselessly "let's meet at out spot shall we?" he rushed over his words, trembling slightly.

the  cold must be getting to him-tomas thinks. he wraps his hand around the warm mug and takes a sip, loudly savoring it.

he can feel roman grow impatient. 

"what did you do" he asks him, wary of the volume in his voice to not wake his brother up even with the incoming storm raging outside.

roman swallows, he hears  the gears on his head turning even though the heavy winds. his tongue clicks a few times while he's lost in thought.

“i cant tell you right now.just come here” 

tomascarefully eyes the hallway, still dark and with only javi's  snores coming through.he gave a long sigh.

 “my brother's sleeping” he said,more so as a comment than an excuse.

“do i look like i care?" roman  growled at him, needlessly angry like always “bring your bike too if you're coming”

he went quiet again, tomas wished he could see his face at least. He hated talking through the phone.

he hears him take another deep breath, “two trash bags too if you happen to have any”  

the wind filled the silence on both sides,his brother was still sleeping.

“two?” tomas eyes the drawer where javier keeps them.

“yes… two”

he hangs up,taking another sip in the meanwhile.

the dots are not hard to connect, it was going to happen eventually.

his fingers curled tightly around the cup.

with a deep breath tomas dumps the remaining tea down the drain and rushes to the hallway.

at the end of it was his brothers door, halfway open and with its handle poorly painted. 

"javi" he calls out, quiet enough to not wake him up but loud enough that if he where to be awake he'd hear it. 

the only answer he gets is a loud snore. 

avoiding looking at himself in the hallway mirror like always he makes his way to his room.

the curtains where drawn, the orange fabric tinted gray by the dark sky behind it.

He closes the blinds like he should have before going to sleep.

his bedsheets were still in the mess he had left them in and they will stay like that for now.

tomas changes out of his old pajama shorts in favor of a pair of dark jeans, over his shirt he throws on a dark long sleeved one and then a puffy vest after hearing the wind seemingly pick up even more.

he doesn't take his phone with him, roman was an idiot for taking his.

He stands before the wooden door now, heavy and old it'll surely wake javier up if he opens it. the keys dangling were already too noisy for him to feel safe holding them. The 3 locks taunted him. not to mention the extra bar door outside with its extra two locks, he took his eyes away from it when the window creaked once again.

it led to the patio, right in front of the grill they never use.

he took off the teaspoon that had been acting as a lock for years now after the wooden hook had snapped on an storm not too dissimilar from this one.

the wind immediately threw the glass open and he fought to keep them from slapping against the wall.

tomas grinded his teeth, climbing on top of the couch and pilling on the cushions behind him to block the window he eventually took the small leap into the outside.

immediately he doubled over shivering. warm air form his mouth formed vapor clouds in front of him. 

he rushed down the stairs to the street, taking a sharp turn to the garage he where fiddles for a minute with the lock. the gates draw sand with them when they open and next to javiers beat up sienna  was his bike, slightly rusted from pedaling in the sand.

the fig tree swayed it's branches dangerously low to the ground and to his face, it slapped the back of his head as a goodbye when he jumps the front gate.

he braces himself under the yellow streetlight, getting on his bike the wind hits even harder.

knowing the dirt street like the back of his hands he swiftly dodges potholes and rocks. passing by the same houses he always did, Tomas takes the last street along to the beach all the way to the very back of the town.

his heart races when he spots the bushes he's about to go into.

the empty, wild terrain, was uninhabited.tainted only sometimes and near the road with attempts at building makeshift houses or old tent set ups abandoned. he never bothered fucking with any of them.

above the unfinished foundation and trash stood an unfinished two story house, all bare bricks except for it's roof which had surprisingly been finished but now was partially caving in.

he ignored it for now. he knew what it's inside looked like down to every graffiti painted, but it served as a nice checkpoint to know where he was going.

turning a sharp left from the front of the house where  the bushes began to become trees one large one stood out, literally, above the rest.

his second checkpoint.

‘their spot'

he gets there with ease, and now he waits. thankfully not for long.

the cold humid air was soured when roman, panting and trembling, jumped over the bushes to meet him.

he doesn't say as much as a hello. only becoming him to follow.

so Tomas, against his better judgment and like he always does, follows.

looking from side to side every time a leaf swayed Roman led the way, clearly not comfortable having his back turned on him he looks back to meet green tired eyes multiple times. they narrow on him, and tomas is  sure he can feel it.

“what did you do” he asks, just like he had before.

roman stutters in his step, almost tripping on the grass, but he doesn't respond. he silently offers help to haul his bike over a hole,tomas takes it.

they reach a clearing in the trees soon enough. the air became thick and uncomfortable almost immediately. it's an energy tomas  can't describe, but he's sure he knows what it is deep inside.

he stops, bowing his head down to think.

roman gladly waits for him, spelling out that he, in a way, didn't want to continue either;he stares at the moon with silent guilt weighing his eyes.

they moved on eventually, when tomas wraps his head around the atmosphere and roman quits brooding the later parts the bushes for the former.

tom jumps without looking ahead.

previously blocked by Romans back he saw a man, unconscious, laying in the grass.

his eyes glazed over.

his mouth hanged open.

his face with no spot left unbruised.

he saw a man,dead, laying on the grass

“what did you do?” tomas asks for the third time. eyeing Roman up and down with barely disguised disgust showing I'm his eyes.

“i think its obvious”  roman jumps over closer to the body and further away from himself.  “i fucked up” he says with faux boredom coating his tongue  “went a bit too far this time”

tomas crouches down near the man's head, inspecting with a heavy hearth it's expression twisted in a final scream of anguish.

he watches incredulously as roman, with needles fake casualty nudges an arm with his foot. “i think i might need some help” 

tomas, understaiding, tosses the bags his way. “I'm not touching it”

roman huffs.

“welp” he announces, ignoring the way tomas burns his eyes into him “lets get to work”

tomas watches him struggle with the body, trying to make it sit. 

the man's phone falls out his Pockets and he panics. He immediately smashes it below his foot.

roman jumped “whats your problem?”

“they can track that” he stomps on it again for good measure.

“i could have sold it-” roman whines.

“tell me what happened” he more or less barks at him, wincing at the volume of his own voice.

roman gives a shaky sigh, pleading to the sky for strength to help him pull the man's legs closer to his chest while he talks.

“well,we were just supposed to fight” his gaze drifted over the body, faltering for only one second before continuing. 

“fucker slipped me a note with a date and place and i just came-uhmp!” he interrupted himself, struggling with the bodies limbs.

“and?” tom pressed.

“well i had a bad day! and He was pissing me off more than usual..” he splutters, throwing the dead man a Nasty look like he could see it. “so once i had him down i just kept stomping on his head”

his gut twists in disgust. roman, completely occupied with the task at hand, didn't notice.

he turns his eyes back to the clearing where the soft grass swayed in the strong wind.

tomas hears roman fitting the bags over the man.  a soft giggle, tone-deaf if you where to ask him, leaves his lips when he finishes. he doesn't know what came first, if the head or the legs but when he turns his head to glare at roman the man is fully covered.

"we have to get this out of sight somehow”

roman talks to himself.

tomas bites his tongue.‘we is a strong word’

unaware roman keeps going "do you still have that shovel in your garage?” 

not waiting for an answer roman grabs his bike like it belonged to him and,with little consideration for its owner standing behind him, balances the bags on it. 

he hopes he can feels his eyes burning his back. 

he watches, still struggling to believe it all, how his friend handled the corpse like it was no more than an inconvenience, cursing quietly to himself trying to thread the bike over a bush.

he'd love to be surprised to see the utter lack of care on the man's eyes.

he's grown accustomed to it,it always lingered whenever he talked about anything that wasn't himself,though tomas struggled to call him narcissistic; there's a slight difference between believing you're above everything and believing everything is below you. 

a certain nihilism always accompanies the latter. he knew this to be true, roman wasn't particularly shy about it. pessimistic anger coated his every word when they pertained to the world outside their own bubble.

he watches the only person outside his own brother that he's directed as much as a word towards in the last 6 months struggle with the corpse of the man he’d just killed.

silently as always, he makes a choice and jumps into the clearing.

"hey!" his friend calls out  "where are you going?" 

"you want the shovel right?" He avoids romans eyes. not letting him see the guilt welling on his own.

As soon as he's out of sight he sprints through the trees, blindly jumping and dodging until he hits the road again. out of breath he pushes himself, filling his mind with every minute detail of the dirt road below his feet to black out any other thoughts.

his chest burns already when he reaches his own street. With Every step he took  he could imagine his brother, arms crossed in the kitchen table, maybe drinking a coffee, maybe staring coldly at the door. waiting for him.

his voice, always weighed down with worry, would ask him where he went; and tomas, the weak man he is, would not be able to lie.

not to him.

he reaches the crossroad his house sat on, old and weathering with a certain charm that was lost in everyone but him.

the lights were all off still.

he jumps the first ,low, gate.going up the concrete stairs only to peek inside .he saw the kitchen empty. his legs give up in relief but his heart still pounds on his throat.

he went down the stairs again, letting his eyes linger on every leaf the tree besides it had to offer. in summer,it would blossom in beautiful pink but the wind didn't let him entertain that idea too much.

it didn't take him long to find the shovel. he gripped it in his hands like his life depended on it, but he didnt take  off with it, not instantly as he’s sure roman would hope.

he could turn back. climb back up the stairs and go back to bed.

he could call the police too, but the thought of not seeing roman again didn't feel right.

 only once did he consider himself behind bars too, it occurred to him in that moment that he cared very little where he got to spend the rest of his life, only his brother's imaginary disappointed-no- disgusted glare really moved him.

forcing himself to make a choice he again picks the worse one and takes off running again, now with the shovel clenched tightly to his chest

he gets to the crime scene and runs north from there, following the tracks of his own bike in what little dirt was left uncovered by vegetation.

roman;the man of the hour, sleep like a baby on a rock.he envied  him really.

slowly he approached, stalking just above the grass like a predator about to pounce, he sees the man stir as he raises the shovel.

in an anger fuelled attempt at playfulness tomas hits roman in the stomach with non insignificant strength.

roman yells and jumps to his feet, fists clumsily balled up in mockery of what could be a fighting stance. his eyes focus soon enough  tough and he lets his hands fall.

“thank god, you scared me” he lets the shovel be handed to him with no comment.tomas sits down on a different rock a few steps away, staring at the floor he snaps a branch off one of the nearby bushes.

"well!" roman dusts his pants off for show "I better get to work now! 

blindly he hears him struggle and lift the dirt from off the ground, occasionally feeling specks of it fly into his face.

"y'know when you mentioned-" the shovel struck a rock, roman struggled to lift it up again "having a shovel I wasn't expecting it to be so-" he pops it out the ground "small"

he complains like always, not really waiting for a response. even now tomas appreciated it to some degree.

not enough to fully ignore everything sadly. 

"should have told me it was more of a toy than anything-"

"there's blood in your hands now" tomas cuts his rambling off with a warning. a remainder he hopes will make it through that thick skull.

roman  scoffs "no there isn't,I get any on me"  he deflects, simple but effective it sent a very clear message.

‘i dont care’

silence,like always, is king between the both of them until tomas checks his watch.

"it's 4:36 already" he spoke up.

roman took the last bit of dirt off the hole. "I'm almost done" carelessly he began pushing the bag into the hole with his foot.

distantly the wind kept howling. tomas waited for it before he spoke again.

"my brother wakes up at 5:30" 

javier still had work early in the morning on saturdays.

roman clicked his tongue "I don't care-" 

"he'll notice if I'm gone,give me the shovel back"

tomas  demanded,but roman didn't listen, instead hitting the bag with it, making it go down further into the dirt.

"give me 5 more minutes with it" he argues. Tomas doesn't even bother to look back to him, nodding a yes hes sure roman didnt turn around for.

quickly he covers the hole back up and, as soon as he dusts his hands and before he declares his work done, tom rips the shovel out of his hands. roman doesn't protest when their eyes lock.

he runs again for the fourth time that night, reluctantly waving on his way out, mostly out of habit.

hes only a couple of steps away from his house when the sky gives in.

making his way into the kitchen he can hear his brother still snoring  loudly in his room.

He throws his clothes into the washer with the rest of the pile and starts the cycle, careful not to make too much noise, before going back to bed.

[cogmented]

how do you come up with your designs for mcyt’s? theyre so creative and cool so i thought id ask

THANK YOU AND THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION

now entering yap city tihs will be a long post

my steps are basically

voice

personality

og look of minecraft skin/branding

player movement

other ppls fanart (if any)

things that happened/cultural associations

i start with a bunch of random sketches to get the feel of the person.. that's why so many of my early posts were doodle pages. to me, character design is more based on what the person is like rather than what they look like. i think a lot of people do that

I do this with all of the above and shape language, but in bigger art pieces outside of lineups i also use color and perspective (as in youll see more of someone like spepticle in large, sweeping scenes while someone like zam in closed, heavily perspective-based ones) to indicate personality. ill change designs when suited for this too (spoke with or without a gas mask, vi with or without a mouth, etc etc)

my first iteration of lifesteal designs heavily relied on the look of the skins and were gradually tweaked over time. my most prominent example of this is my spoke design, so i'll use him at least once in the examples for continuous comparison.

i watch a couple of each person's videos first, understand their voice, personality, and what they do, then focus on them in other people's videos too to get a full story, their movement, and what others think of them (helps with personality and things we might not see). streams are the most helpful because they're less biased and you see so much more of their antics. huge stream fan.

i get into the how after this

this process doesnt go in order for some designs and others have a more prominent focus on particular parts of the process that override or effect other parts

Voice

starting off with not spoke here's a problem i encountered when designing wemmbu

I based him a lot off of spoke and ashswag due to not knowing much about him besides the fact that he schemes (spoke&ash-esque) and he doesn't move his character around too much when talking (ash behavior). he didn't match the left one because his voice doesn't have the dramatic, flamboyant fratboy flair that spoke has, so I shifted it to be more friendly yet still dangerous with curved square shapes rather than triangles. i made his scheming, diabolical nature more evident through his clothing that's pretty jester-like and sharp, but with a smoother middle that spoke doesn't have (and to match his eyes).

voice also impacts character height. i dont know how to describe this. mapicc and zam are similar heights because their voices are similar, same goes for parrot and vortex, but leo and vitalasy are close to the same height (due to vitalasy's huge fuckass ears) despite having wildly different voices, with leo's bold text voice and vitalasy's higher-pitched jumbled kinda speech they still take up the same "amount of space" in conversation. they stand out. and even though spoke's voice also stands out an incredible amount he is still only slightly taller than average. this is where personality overrides voice in my designs.

Personality

spoke is sharp in every sense of the word, but is also able to mold himself around to get what he needs.

my first attempt at him was pretty lackluster. i didn't know much of him at the time, only his wither video, and thus understood him mainly through his association with parrot. he seemed a lot more evil and more serious at first glance. like woah! fully fledged mouth and nose?! not anymore.

i cover certain expressive parts to also depict more of their personality in some abstract, holistic way. after watching streams and whatnot, spoke doesnt actually speak (excluding his random sounds and yips or whatever he does) too terribly much, except when the spotlight is on him or he's trying to get something. so, i tweaked his design to encompass that when i understood him better.

i take away his arms to allow his hands to stand out more (character movement thing, he moves around a lot when no one is paying attention to him, punches the air when ..not talking but making a point ig. he's a big fan of hovering menacingly), i give him a slinky-like outside skeletal structure to both capture his affinity for withers (i made him a wither thing because of the wither sounds in his video.. and the withers in general) and to give him the feeling of more freedom with his movement.

i also just really like gas masks so. basically, spoke is someone that hides away until he chooses to stand out. thank lord heaven he looks like some shadow creature.

later on i gave him more magenta highlights, especially in the wormhole era because 1. magenta wasnt heavily included in his rainbow look, making it stand out on his whole being, and 2. because magenta is really really cool and people should use it more.

og minecraft skin/branding

hi spokeis here. this will be quick because his branding is so heavy. lightning, rainbow, black. boom. character. withers and white eyes? easy. causes a lot of anarchy? again, lightning and withers.

planetlord on the other hand is someone i greatly differed from the og skin and branding. i saw the design in a vision idk. i shift his colors all the time in different pieces but i use more of his pfp colors now because there's too many purples in this world. his branding, personality, and voice all connect very well. a bit misleading, he's a bit of a weasel.

Movement

i never used to look into movement, but pvp styles and conversational movement of lifesteal is intriguing. unfortunately it was only something i started paying attention to during the end of s4 because vitalasy's movement was so interesting. he's a big fan of getting in people's faces.

ill be real, i didn't really notice spoke a lot during things because he was almost always never alone, and when he was it is always at a distance or you knew he had people to back him up.

spoke's movement isn't actually too abnormal. he's goal oriented and tends to always be doing something, and when he does he finds the most efficient way possible. pretty basic. his design choices are based mainly on voice and personality.

someone like mapicc on the other hand has very particular movement. he spins around people when fighting and gets right up in their face (in nethpot pvp mostly), so i made his clothing tighter to the skin with looser parts to accentuate that movement: practical clothing for close combat battles. it was also noticed (by the lord) that he tends to look straight forward instead of the slightly down that most players do.

zam fights differently, but i made him with the og branding (he's princezam) and what he does in mind. his body language in my art is more indicative of his personality.

Other people's fanart

shoutout the community, a notable amount of ideas were from the mid-late 2022 lifesteal community.

dog leowook and leather jacket mapicc were from gen, jackalope rek from aoi i think, "croptop" jacket spoke from saints-blade, snail terrain from navy-leader, tv ashswag from kish, sock puppet red definitely from someone i dont remember, 4 armed squiddo from seri, and old cartoon jaron was from bucket

Things that happened/istarted talking about cultural inspirations

spoke and his connection to godhood influenced his redesign greatly. this section affects what the character wears most of the time.

i give both spoke and vitalasy painted palms (alta) due to their connection with godhood and destruction, with spoke in particular reminding me a lot of Kali Ma, thus i gave him a skirt (due to nppp too). vitalasy's clothing is based on Indonesian cultural clothing. wemmbu's also takes inspiration from Indonesian and Bhutan cultural clothing.

indigenous cultures inspired some designs too (i do a lot of ethnographic anthropology work with some of the tribes i base the clothing off of), with woogie having Yupik and Inuit inspiration. polar bear = cold climate in my head. and leo has Haida and Yunnan (minority Chinese providence, not a tribe) inspiration.

bacon's... not bacon strip design's clothing was based on Bangladeshi clothing (im Bangladeshi, i also added alpona patterns to ash's design), nomadic cultures, and some german pilgrim thing?? idk not my best design. i specifically looked for nomadic inspiration because of his willingness to flee at any moment lol. i didnt do this for rek despite his fleeing reputation because i dont watch rek content too much and he already had hybrid traits that took care of that presentation.

poafa's design is a goat because of the medusa trials where he was used as a scapegoat. makes sense i think. his horns are from past associations with jepex that infected mapicc as well (devil trio s1). zam's design is very much from s3 empire and s4 castle.

planet's design changed slightly, mostly rounder shapes, but also the number of "spikes" on his scarf, now stuck at three because of 3ht.. and easier to draw than five. minutetech has a bow instead of a bowtie from jumper due to s5 happenings. the gem on his crown has wemmbu's highlights from his gem's main color.

roshambo's design was also heavily influenced by medusa where i gave him a snake body. in my art that depicts before medusa events he doesn't have the snake body, and same goes with before s4 spoke where i draw him with full pants. in some sketches ive depicted mapicc with a muzzle only after the destruction of s4 spawn due to quix's mapicc dog influence shoutout.

mapicc and ro have matching things that persist seasons (mapicc periwinkle collar, ro red painted ring finger... head finger?), as did subz and vitalasy with matching shoulder pads (beginning of s4 subz had a bandana and vitalasy had a bell that traded between them through artworks of mine) Vitalasy also gained sun and moon earrings. mid and 4c have matching hoods/cloaks ^_^ marriage or something.

hope this made sense and covered everything you could have ever wanted forever... feel free to ask me questions i love explaining processes

[oceanwithouthermoon]

Talking about Saiki and SA here a bit, btw, just a warning~

Thinking about how you said Saiki was a victim of SA and you’re literally so right. I feel like people sometimes just blow right past the fact that Kusuke is like that with his brother, but I think it can add a lot to interpretations of his character. But even if it only goes as far as what is shown in canon — which I almost doubt — it still remains the fact that Kusuke is doing all of that knowing fully well that his brother can hear him. It’s literally sexual harassment.

People point it out more often with Teruhashi and her brother (back to the reasons you said, people think it’s more serious if it happens to women). But the things he does, that’s all sexual harassment. And yet when Kusuke does similar things, it’s often brushed aside. Just,,, a bit crazy to me.

(And that’s not even mentioning when people completely disregard this part of Teruhashi’s story and act like she’s one-dimensional,,, but that’s another story)

But all this to say you’re literally so right. Anyways love you mwah =^•w•^=

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I NEEDD PEOPLE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MORE.

(heed the sa warning + abuse and incest warning before opening, i talk a LOT here.. im mostly just reiterating what happens directly in the manga though.. ALSO EXTREMELY LONG POST WARNING..)

I always viewed kokomi and makoto + kusuo and kusuke as like.. paralleling each other ? not sure if thats the right word, but IMMEDIATELY when i saw both of these dynamics i made the connection.. i guess since it was so clear to me, i assumed that it was so obvious and on purpose that everyone else knew too, but so many people just.. ignore it..

i think most people that read/watch saiki k have recognized the fact that most main characters are meant to parallel or relate to saiki in at least some way, (if anyone who doesnt know what im talking about is reading this, im sure at least someone on here has done a better breakdown on that, i just.. dont know where to find that..) but this particular connection is one i dont see often and i genuinely believe that its almost entirely because of the whole "sexual assault/harassment isnt as serious when it happens to men as when it happens to women" thing.. most of the fandom acknowledge that what makoto does is awful and kokomi is a victim, so why is it different when its kusuke and kusuo ??

its EXACTLY the same.. what we see on screen with the saikis is WORSE, actually.. and what WE see from these two relationships isnt the full extent of what the two victims experience off screen, and i strongly believe that its heavily implied that both kokomi and kusuo have been through much worse with their brothers than whats shown..

we have no idea what kusuke couldve done BEFORE moving away and creating the telepathy canceler (and dont say that he couldnt have done anything cuz they were kids, cocsa [child on child sa] is still a thing and still valid, ESPECIALLY since they were both kid geniuses and kusuke definitely KNEW better.. but yea, kusuo implies that hes been like that for a long time, way before we ever saw them, sooo..) and its highly likely that whatever happened that we didnt see, before or after the move, was WORSE than what he does ON screen (i honestly dont want to think about what a guy with an incestual obsession with his brother does with cameras everywhere in his brothers home..) and what we see him do is already insane..

literally using his brother to get off, manipulating him and forcing him to play the games that give him sexual pleasure.. actually, speaking of, ive seen some people say that what kusuke does isnt really incest because the only reason he uses kusuo is because hes a masochist and kusuo is the only person that can overpower him.. this is a total misfire LOL, his upbringing alongside kusuo and his relationship with him is the REASON that hes a masochist, the ENTIRE REASON why thats what he gets off to.. its not just CONVENIENT that kusuo is there to get him off, he SPECIFICALLY seeks kusuo out and forces him to do things that give him sexual pleasure.. he believes that kusuo is the only person in the world that can ever give him sexual pleasure, what about that doesnt sound incestuous?

and one of the worst parts of it is, kusuo BARELY acknowledges how weird it is.. in fact, he's COMPLACENT in a lot of the games, obedient even, being bribed into them the same way he does with simple things like bringing kuniharu to work.. this is the biggest reason why i believe the off-screen stuff is probably worse, because kusuo is obviously conditioned to think that letting your brother get off to you is just.. fine.. we hardly see him try to get away from this situation beyond simply calling him gross.. theres one moment during the cat tank situation where kusuke tries to get him to grab the limiter off of his crotch specifically so that he can see him in that position and kusuo looks terrified and cant do it, BUT its unclear whether the expression of fear was entirely his concentration because he didnt wanna break the limiter or because he didnt want to let his brother get off to that, and i think its mostly the former ? idk, i dont remember this part that well but im preeeetty sure..

he does acknowledge that MAKOTOS behavior is bad when he sees it, but he never thinks its a big enough deal that he needs to help her or anything, (except for maybe the okinawa situation) which i know is probably just for the sake of not letting the gag manga get too serious, BUT it can also be explained pretty easily by this whole thing.. the way kokomi is treated is literally the same way kusuo lives his life, even down to their incestuous brother being possessive to the point of berating their potential love interests.. (which in this case happened to be each other, kusuo and kokomi..)

so yeah, kusuo just. doesnt really know how bad it actually is ? or maybe he does, but doesnt acknowledge it because he doesnt WANT to.. him barely acknowledging it and being complacent is part of why some people dont really get that its sa and incest, but his complacency obviously plays a big part in how its effected him too, like thats purposeful.. like i said, hes been CONDITIONED not to acknowledge it..

to me, it looks like a classic situation in which kusuo doesn't acknowledge his trauma because he knows that if he did, it would change his outlook on his life, his family, and his childhood FOREVER. he would never be willing to tell anyone or ask for help on his own accord, and accepting that there was anything wrong in the first place means, to him, dealing with that issue by himself for the rest of his life.

why would he ever admit that anything was wrong if nothing would change either way? the only thing that WOULD change is HIM, and why would he want that? isnt it better to be blissfully unaware than to knowingly suffer in silence?

plus, he genuinely does love his brother and knows in the back of his mind that kusukes feelings toward him comes from their unhealthy upbringing and relationship and its more complex than just "hes an evil guy blah blah.." because he isnt really evil and kusuo KNOWS that.. actually, he might be the only person in the world who COULD understand..

so yeahhhh.. kokomi and kusuo are both CANONICALLY victims of sexual harassment.. (and incestual abuse at that..) and, by my interpretation, implied victims of sa as well !! (im not really sure where the line can be when it comes to this sometimes, like when your brother sniffs your bedsheets and rubs himself on them or gets off to you right in front of your face or tries to get you to grab something positioned over his crotch so he can see you in.. THAT position.. but i already said that its pretty likely that both brothers have gone farther than that off-screen..)

anywayyyy.. this is so important to me and i wish people would talk and write about it more instead of pretending it never happened and mischaracterizing every one of these characters, especially for the sake of a ship like i was talking about in my other post.. it sucks that people so often just cast kusuos canon issues aside..

[pixelprofligate]

this is another Fallout London post. more of a rant but still:

because GOD this is really not good. maybe im just like really critical of stuff but so much of the mod just doesnt add up to...anything? most of the quests are uninteresting or outright present you with dialogue options that outright contradict themselves or basic established lore of the world they've set up, so many locations are near empty and boring as hell to try and explore, with a SIGNIFICANT number of the marked locations having literally nothing to find in them, some of them actually having nothing in them at all, there's tons of NPCs, both generic and some named that have, and i dont mean this hyperbolically, literally no dialogue at all, the mods full of things that are just wrong about britian, like posters calling the tower bridge london bridge, the combat encounters are regularly boring because all the factions are functionally the same in terms of equipment, lots of the weapons you can use have blatantly anachronistic modifications like actual real modern day attachments, all of the "new enemies" are just model swaps that use the same skeleton and movesets and often the same exact sounds as base fallout 4 enemies and often aren't even properly rigged for the skeletons they used (like the fucking assaultron replacement that just constantly clips thru its own model anytime it moves at all because they gave it a skirt it was never built to have), and on top of all of it, the mod itself just breaks all the time. there were multiple times quests couldn't progress because NPCs just didn't say the line of dialogue they were suppose to, completely softlocking their quests (this happened with every single main faction at least once), and to top it off most of the assets actually used in this mod weren't even made for it, most come from the Capital Wasteland Project, but even things like the terminals and most of the guns are just straight up from other mods. also, multiple terminal entries were just outright written by AI. and im not saying that like "oh theyre just poorly written so i assume its AI" i mean the lead dev in their discord fucking confirmed it and said he had no clue it happened. like i get a lot of people worked really hard on this, and i dont want to shit on them, but to call this mod "one of the best things fallout has seen in years" i think is a massive disservice to everything else fallout related weve seen since even 76 came out. this mod is a mess of ideas that rarely add up to anything interesting, with a story that gives you no real reason to care or engage with it, that leads to a fight that fucking sucks so much the final battle is terrible (you're forced into a melee fight with a weapon that isn't any of yours on a tiny catwalk where you have to beat the same guy TWICE in a row, and then he gets great mouse detectived), and ultimately never feels fulfilling. it does so little actually interesting with the factions it made or the area its set in and the fact people absolutely adore this mod fucking baffles me. this mod is not good. i genuinely want to know what people like about this because i cannot understand a single aspect of it, ESPECIALLY the people saying this is better than like, base Fallout 4 itself.

[soulofamy]

for the au prompt: ashzoth but one’s a seafarer of sorts and the other is a mermaid/mermaid-adjacent (you can choose who is which bc idk)

Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts that would happen in a story.

ill go with syzoth being the sea farer! maybe one day ill revisit this idea and do the converse so that ashrah is the sea farer

syzoth was a simple deckhand on a pirate ship. he doesnt particularly enjoy his job, but his options were limited in how he could support himself. the captain of the ships goal was to find sirens because he believed that was his ticket to getting rich

ashrah was a siren who disapproved of how her sisters lured sailors to their deaths

one day, ashrahs sisters decided their newest victim would be the ship syzoth served, despite ashrahs pleas for them not to

despite being unable to stop them, she was at least able to save syzoths life. she stopped him from drowning and brought him to a secluded cave where he could rebuild his strength. she came to visit him every day and they fell in love

syzoths captain and a few of his crew washed up on shore alive, syzoth and ashrah got to witness a full on war between the pirates and the sirens

bonus snippet beneath cut:

The scent of salt water and the sounds of the ocean intensified as Syzoth grew conscious. His eyes fluttered open and for a moment, his vision was blurry. He blinked hard, willing himself to see, before realizing there was something soft over his lips, and a gentle touch over his cheek. His heart began to hammer inside his chest when he realized he was not alone. His head jerked to the side as he gasped.

"It worked," the melody of his present company's voice breathed in aw. She met his gaze with elation as she propped herself up on her elbows. "You're alive!"

Syzoth attempted to scramble back but was met with a sharp pain in his abdomen.

"You shouldn't move," the woman said with caution. "You are still injured, you need to rest."

"Who are you?" Syzoth rasped as he laid back down on the sand. His lower half was submerged in water as he laid on what appeared to be the bank of a creek inside a cave. His head spun as he tried to remember how he got here.

"My name is Ashrah. Your ship capsized and I rescued you," she informed him. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to think back. The details were fuzzy, but that sounded accurate to him. At least the part about his ship capsizing. He opened his eyes again and looked past her. His eyebrows raised in surprise.

"You're..." he began, awe struck. "They're real..." he breathed, thinking out loud.

"Surprised?" Ashrah said with pride, flitting her golden tail.

"And everyone else?" he asked, looking back up at her.

Ashrah frowned, then sighed. "We have much to discuss, it seems."

[dysfunctionallygrey]

MORE PJO/HoO x Pokemon rambles

My mind is a restless expanse of thoughts and it is my duty to make sure they are at LEAST coherent. The Heroes of Olympus and their Pokemon? Hell yeah high five me guy. I will probably go more in depth when i make their own individual posts... whenever that may be... Ill try and put up part 2 with the rest later!!

Jason has a full team of 6, he just has no memory of how he got them, or anything about them for the matter. When he battles though, the muscle memory kicks in and for a second his Pokémon think he's got his memories back and none of the whole amnesia thing ever happened. Only for a second though.

Reyna has two very loyal and very powerful Lucario. They follow her obediently around its actually sort of odd not seeing them with her. But that wasn't always the case. Back then, on a mysterious island, there were two sisters, each with their own Riolu. What happened to either sister, the other wouldn't know.

Me to any justice/fairness leader type character when i make a Pokemon au: Woe, Lucario be upon you.

Hazel... boy oh boy where do i even begin... The sheer amount of Pokemon i was able to find and go "hey that would fit for Hazel" But at the start of her story, id definitely give her a rock/ground/ghost type like a Golett and ive always imagined her having a Drillbur because i will bet on my life the real Hazel Levesque would look at the thing and immediately be endeared. Also a carbink. Guys its a little gem pokemon that can learn light screen its perfect for her.

I already have a post for Piper Mclean. But the gist of it is Piper eevee piper Sylveon. and femininity and queerness and self acceptance. go read my post if this seems interesting to you.

i love Annabeth Chase a lot. If you asked me what i wanted to be as a kid i would've said her and since i love her a lot she deserves only the best (my favorite pseudo): Metagross. But only evolving very late. I imagine it also as a gift from her mom. (Metagross = Steel Psychic = big brain = Clear body user = invisibility cap) At first shes SUPER stoked like holy hell a pseudo legendary, at 12 years old!! and then she starts training the Beldum and she realizes oh. wow it is taking too damn long for this thing to evolve into a Metagross. It doesnt stop her from being smart and giving it Eviolite lol. And then it reaches the MoA equivalent to the story. She confronts Arachne (probably pokemon battle) then the Metang evolves into Metagross. Athena is probably smiling down at her. and then she gets sucked into distortion (aka tartarus) :P

Percy Jackson has Mono water team. With a Gyarados and a Palafin. Funny thing is Jason also has a Gyarados. Neither of them are allowed to have it out in a 1km radius of eachother.

part 2 perhaps later

[inventedfangirling]

Hello this is basically a long post about me sorting through my feelings about bad buddy and why it means so much to me.

So over the past few weeks ( i first watched the show 7 weeks ago) ive been trying to figure out what exactly about bad buddy and patpran in particular have got me so inexplicably fond and devoted to them and apart from the usual answers of great writing, directing, performances and the best most electric chemistry and banter known to humankind, i did arrive at couple of other answers too.

First of all pat and (especially) pran are deep and well rounded characters.

Their worlds feel lived in and real.

Their feelings and thoughts and motivations are of course excellently portrayed by both ohm and nanon. and they gave representation to queer people everywhere. pat being the pan/ bi king he is and pran being the gayest babyboy warrior poet ever. pran especially given his repressed nature and emotional closed-off-ness is somebody a lot of people surely saw themselves in, including myself. seeing myself represented like that starting off the way he is and then taking small steps one by one over the course of the whole show (and over years in the show's universe) to arrive at the more assured, more open, more ready to be vulnerable (but still very much the pran we all loved in the first episode itself) was so wonderful to see.

The fact that the show happens in a non homophobic universe doesnt take away from just how special it was seeing queer characters fall, be and stay in love. and most importantly that they got their happy ending (i wont be hearing anything against this cos the ending was happy, despite the slightly bittersweet tinge of it, it was happy and there shall be no counter arguments begone i cant with that)

That episode 12 gave a glimpse of their future.

A world where pat will one day be able to sit with pran in his house eating food made by dissaya. that pran and pat's mom work on a common hobby together cos why not. a world where they no longer have to hide, a world were they could well and truly thrive.

Its so so important as queer people that we get representation and that in a world that is often cruel to the likes of us especially here in asia, that we see happy adult queer lives, where they can be in love in the most mundane of ways.

Patpran and bad buddy gave us that and i will forever be thankful for it.

That still doesn't capture exactly why i rate them as a couple so so highly in my head.

So i thought of patpran in the context of all the other love stories i could possibly remember watching. i thought of some of my top favourite couples - mondler, phil & claire, schmidt & cece, peraltiago, leslie & ben, jack & rebecca, randall & beth, simon & wilhelm, jaeyong & sangwoo, ji hyun & jaewon, bai lang & xun an, tara & darcy, sumi & rimjhim and so so many more and what stood out for me when it came to patpran was that they were the one couple out of all these couples i adore who didnt let anything get between them once they got together.

Every other couple among the ones ive listed have had jobs or other relationships or distance or parents or workplace rules /etiquette or circumstances or the royalty standing in between their love and as a result causing the couple to break apart ( a couple of episodes for mondler to seasons of confusion for peraltiago and schmidt & cece etc) even if briefly.

Except for phil & claire (who btw wasnt even sure about marrying phil when she did) almost none of these couples got together and stayed together throughout their relationship. and yes i agree that a lot of these obstacles and circumstances are very real and taxing and no wonder people chose their own peace at least for a while to deal with everything BUT i just cant help feel more appreciative of pat pran even more cos these two 19 year olds figured this whole thing out faster than any of those full grown adults did.

And yes its fictional and maybe even unrealistic (given the kind of relationships i see irl) yet patpran really do deserve all the love they get. they do deserve a lot of props.

Its not like they didn't have adverse obstacles standing in their way, they had to fight against their families years and years of lies and all the intergenerational trauma and their faculty rivalry and a shitty friend who outed them and any single one of these should have caused at least 12 episodes worth of conflict and miscommunication in any other couple.

And yes i do recognise that bbs didnt have the luxury of time or multiple seasons but they could have kept them apart for a whole episode at least, i was convinced we were in for that at the end of episode 8 as the aftermath of wai outing them. like there is no way the relationship comes out of it unscathed ( i thought! ). and while im sure they personally were rattled and betrayed (pran more so), instead of blaming anybody else or each other they actually chose to handle it together, they worked together and chose to move forward together.

The fact that such a terrible experience instead of breaking them apart actually reaffirmed to both pat and pran just how much their relationship means to the both of them, that they come out of it actually stronger??

i was friggin shook to my core.

And then came the gunshots and the family finding out and the running away and the coming back and the fake breakup and the pressures of all of this should have been enough to drive a serious wedge between any two characters, especially at their age and lack of experience. and yet??? and yet at each obstacle they get up, they draw the other closer and they get down to working on it together again.

Over and over and over and over again.

So for me what separates patpran from everybody else is the fact that ever since they got together, they have chosen eo, intentionally, that has made the difference.

Pat and pran's story may have been destined ( i personally don't know if i believe in destiny). they may have been born neighbours and felt unexplainable intense feelings (that later turned to love) for the other but when it came down to it, at its core, bad buddy soars when the two come together and they choose to keep being together, despite everything that stands in their way.

Love is a choice. love is a sacrifice. but its also a sacrifice and a choice they made for themselves and for each other and above all for their relationship.

Almost all the couples mentioned above arrive at similar destinations but they arrive at it with years of experience and years of struggle. i just cant help marvel at our teenagers who did love better than whole ass adults double their age could.

And more importantly above the awe i feel inspired and hopeful because they showed me that there's always a choice. thats there's always another option. you dont need to get out of your comfort zone. but you also dont need to be in the comfort zone always. you dont need to keep lying to yourself. you dont need to hide every single part of you. there are always other options. there is always a choice.

That hope is not just a noun its also very much a verb. That you and i and each one of us can make that choice.

That if ever i choose to partner up with someone and if we do proper healthy communication (patpran invented healthy communication and consent btw, they deserve EVERYTHING for just that but thats a whole other post) prioritizing the relationship where it mattered, i too could have something ( even remotely) like their love.

For the first time in my life probably i felt like that kind of love was attainable for me if i wanted to pursue it. They gave me hope. and they gave me joy. and i will never not be unbelievably grateful for it.

[pumpkinsy0]

Didn’t Ponyboy date Cathy at some point then broke up in the TWTTIN book? Do you have maybe any thoughts about it or hcs?

yknow what ive been waiting to say my think piece about this im glad u asked

okok they didnt BREAK UP in the book i dont think, but they just didnt get together in the movie as far as ik, BUT YKNOW WHAT I STILL DONT LIKE THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MUCH AND ITS NOT BC I SHIP PAPERCUT

first off i just,,,,dont think cathy needs to b in a relationship atp, he brother was missing and having a bad trip on some drugs her bfs brother was giving him, so i feel like just putting her in a relationship w the guy her ex bf didnt like all to show the message that “shit changes” is so,,,hm,,, like it just felt kinda shoved in there and i thats part of the problem i had w twttin as a whole, a lot happened but u dont rlly feel that much of an emotional attachment to it bc u feel like ur just being told the story and not immersed in it, so when things happen ur just like “oh,,,,ok”, like ik there was a time skip but i dont think it was THAT LONG of one, maybe like 3 months bc angelas hair is still pretty short and m&m is still out of it so even w the time skip it still feels rushed idk how to explain it but it was so,,,eh

secondly, if i remember correctly, m&m said cathy liked bryon more than anyone else so i kinda took it as she still thinks about him a lot, and im not saying she DOESNT like pony, but she does compare them in her head a bit. so i think theres just a barrier between the two of em and so their relationship is just,,,an awkward first for pony at least and its not BAD to cathy just not so good timing so they arent 100% themselves if that makes sense, they didnt rlly act like they were in a relationship, so they didnt last for like a full on year but a good couple months, maybe like 5 or 6ish

annndddd i probably had more to say but i forgor but these r my main points

[ultimateloserboy]

i know i make this post every other week but dont hug me im scared is so deep within my soul. i have genuinely never seen a show summarize the feeling of being a human better than this one. (at least for my neurodivergent ass, anyway) the show may hardly make sense when you try and find an overall plot, but life itself doesnt have a plot does it? it’s just days, on and on in a persons life. but besides that point, dhmis was never supposed to be about plot anyway. its about what you feel, its always been about that. and every time something happens, sensical or not, i feel something ive felt before in my life. when red guy is surrounded by his own kind, singing in a room full of awkward silence, im reminded of when i was a kid performing for my family and they paid no attention. when hes on stage with the world screaming over him, im in the crowd watching as my own voice is silenced. when duck is singing in the kitchen about his lack of family, eating dinner alone at a huge dining table, im on the other side with my own pathetic plate. when yellow guy is crying, begging for the world to be quiet for a moment, i am in another bed, a torn-apart little boy crying after a nightmare with no one to run to either. they might make no sense, their stories may be ridiculous, but they are feeling what ive felt before, feelings ive never seen represented in this way. dont hug me im scared is a home to me. a wretched, painful reminder of a home, where i sit in the fourth chair and watch my own life in a twisted, blurry dream. where i see creatures unlike anything ive seen, beings sewn to sing and dance discover the mortal pains that i had to discover long ago. people like to think the trio used to be human before they forgot, but i disagree. in my eyes theyre cotton and felt, tortured to become human and discover the pain of mortality, the horrors that come from flesh and blood, the terrifying intricacies of feelings such as love. most people watch from their couches, or their laptops, but i watch from right behind them. i walk up the stairs with a little yellow hand in my own, stepping up to see my own helpless life in the fun-house mirror that is dont hug me im scared.

[nightmyst14-blog]

Back at it again!!

2nd part to showing some of my ships, so today its my Kingdom Exclusive ships!! Now some should be more familiar.

Also throwing this out there for honestly no reason, I'm prefectly okay if you ship anything different from what I show here. These are all MY ships. If you ship something else, as long as its not-toxic and not Proship, I'm bound to be okay with it.

With that in mind, let's go.

Polychampions: Even after their event, I can't help but love this trio!! Their dynamic is so funny. I can imagine their hugging sessions are the best, especially with Capsaicin being there. They all keep an eye of each other, even dealing with their own issues.

CaviOyster: My most written about ship!! Sea cookies got to stick together, after all!! It tickles me that it was these two who stood up to Custard and the others about the treatment of the Creme Republic. They're Clotted Cream's uncle and aunt figures.

DarkCherryWolf: I couldn't decide werether I liked Darkwolf or Cherrywolf more, so I slapped them together. I imagine Choco already knew of Werewolf even when he left the COD, so they started to hang out more. Then later Choco was introduced to Blossom. Shenangians happen and now, they're all dating. and thanks to the idea @analogical-spacegays gave me, they are all now parents to the squirrel trio Roll Cake, Pancake , and Pinecone.

PureHolly: A comfort ship of mine. Loving parents of Royalberry even the two are in separated kingdoms. PV feels awful about all the hardships Holly went after his sacrifice, and constantly does his best to be there for her. Everytime they meet up, Holly engulfs the shorter man in a big hug. PV doesnt have the heart to stop her, plus he enjoys it,

AlmondLatte: A classic, but a good one, Their banter during the Light the Beacons story is so funny. I love the found family potential between them, plus Walnut and Creampuff. Latte would be a loving stepmom to Walnut.

ClottedClover: A rarepair!! Noble x Fairy/Elf vibes. With the idea of Clover being White Lily's son, that's going to be an AWKWARD reveal. Its a secret relationship the Consul is hiding from his father. Clover often would send Clotted songs he's written for him or 4-leaf clovers on his travels. One day, Clotted wishes to accompany.

RaspRye: This comes from me rewatching the scenes of Jedidiah and Octavius from all 3 Night at the Museum movies ( I know I'm old) and imagining them as these two. It works. Rye is always on the move from bounty hunting, so she's always stopping by House Raspberry to pay Raspberry a visit.

MalaFrost: Hot and cold gfs!! They give me SU Ruby and Sapphire vibes. How they meet is where Mala was given a dare to survive in the coldest region for the week (as you do), and was found by Frost Queen after Mala almost frioze to death. Of course Forst took care of her and restored her to full health, bue expected her to leave due cookies usually being scared by her and her powers. Istead , Mala stuck around and tries to court her, without much avail. One day, Frost decides to take up her offer. In short, Frost fell HARD in love at Mala's silliness and her good heart, along with impressed how well she was as a chieftain. They've been dating ever since.

WildChip: Last, but definitely not least, these two dorks. I know a lot of WildChip lovers can understand why I love this ship. Also, their bond also reminds me of Patroclus and Achilles from Greek mythology. I know they got their other's back, even when in danger.

That's all 9!! My next one will be mwcrossover ships, as I ship two characters One from Ovenbreak, and One from Kingdom. It might be a bit shorter than this, but we'll how it goes.

Hope you enjoyed!!

[araksi-art]

one of my favorite painterly pieces ive done lately: Al'ixia-MariUnak!!

my baby girl <3

she's got a longer backstory so here we go:

the society she's born into values social standing, beauty and prestige above all they are the high elven royalty of the mountains

her mother is of elven royalty, but her biological father was a wandering human bard that promptly disappeared. her mother's husband is also elven royalty and having a half-elf child was a big enough embarrassment and danger to his social standing that he had little infant al'ixia left in the forest to be devoured by beasts (to actively kill a child is frowned upon, but if they happen to die well... it is understandable that certain embarrassments need to be rid of)

her mother finds out though, and runs to the forest to save her little baby. when she gets there, al'ixia is already scratched and bitten (<the sideways scar on her face and others on jer body) and so cold. moments before she dies, before she should have died, her mother calls on an eldrich being. the forests in the mountains are full of potent and dangerous magic, and it works. her imfamt daughter is brought back to life, and immediately starts wailing. however, the being took a sacrifice - al'ixia eyes (those scars can never heal, but at least they dont hurt. she can still see somewhat too, though not in colors and with dark spots)

al'ixia grows up. hated by her father and sheltered by her mother, she has little contact with anyone outside their home. she does get to learn everything she wants though. eventually that includes sword fighting, which she get quite good at. she daydreams about the outside world. her father ignores her rather then hating her eventually, and he even tells her about his adventures in the outside world from his youth on some evenings. he doesn't care for her as his child, but tolerates her, as long as she doesn't embarass him further.

when she reaches adulthood (which well, is a bit complicated for halfelves, but its what she herself considers to be adulthood) she leaves her family's estate. she doesnt tell anyone, but does leave behind a letter. it doesnt do anything to help her family's reputation . she finds the outer world much warmer but still incredibly mean as her home was. she hides her scars behind her hair, but at least her ears dont bring scowls to peoples faces.

she meets a ragtag group of adventures and joins them. they get hired for a job and its really fun! al is having fun with other people for once, and its great, and they're such a diverse group from different walks of life and al'ixia is so excited. and then the mission goes wrong, and they're overpowered, and one of her party members falls unconscious, and then another stoos breathing and then al'ixia herself dies.

her parents are contacted by the last standing person in their party. al'ixia's body is kept in a freezer of the inn her party was staying in. both her parents arrive with all the fanfare that high elves showing up in a random village deserve. her mother goes to her side and hold her hand and makes the same decision she did years ago.

when Al'ixia-MariUnak wakes up again her scarred eyes are flowing with disgusting black ooze. she turns to the person holding her hand - her momma - and she sees something terrible. her mother has once again made a pact. and this time, she gave her own eyes for the life of her child. they hug, and cry, and al'ixia isn't angry but inky because she really really missed her mom.

al'ixia's father is furious, with both of them, but blames al'ixia. how dare she disfigure his wife. in a society where beauty has such an effect on social standing, its the same as accusing him of horrible crimes outright. he does not spare alixia a single glance and pulls her mother with him.

------

that's as far as her canonical story goes ! just as most of my special twelve characters, she was a dnd character in a campaign that never got finished, so her story isnt either.

eventually she learns acceptance, first from her party, and then from herself, and stop hiding. she's still socially awkward and naive and anxious, but she heals some of the pains in her heart that loneliness put there.

she is a half elf though, and when she visit her home again and her mother sees how much she's grown while her mother stays the same well... her mother makes plans for a third and final pact.

here's some feelings about that:

thanks for listening to me včeličko <33

wanna put together a more coherent exploration of the society her parents live in someday, not limited to name meanings, environmental challenges and the social rituals surrounding them, what the area even looks like etc. but its all just pictures in my head atm. someday tho