#or at least one thats not for me
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his therapist woulda had a field day at their next appointment
#my art#doodle#fanart#resident evil 8#ethan winters#i think its so funny that he has a journal in re8. not only does he have a journal but he illustrates it. i dont know if capcom intended to#imply that ethan stops every now and then to jot down the horrors and the hour that the horrors occur my guess is prolly not#but now its there and it makes me laugh. i shouldnt laugh at his mental health journey but i am anyways#shoutout to people who journal i wish i was you but instead i draw a guy feelin my emotions for me#but im so happy the sun goess away at 5pm. truly immaculate. i miss snow. but we stay chillin#i made more dear diary doodles but these were my favs n they went well together#i changed the entry in the 2nd one though cause i thought it was funnier to me this way#i cut my hair too short again im not even sad about it anymore like whatever man#at least its out of my way. and my shower was SO fast i got to stand there 5ever and it was still only like 15 minutes#fantastic. there are so many joys in life. theres twice as many horrors but the joys are definitely there and they are definitely joyful#anyways thats the post stay warm n cozy out there gang
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who is your favorite AA character? šļøšļø
ziskaā¦ I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because sheās so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character sheās built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I donāt think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so itās probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasnāt there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesnāt give it to me I still firmly believe thereās be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc thereās already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya itās something new and theyāre basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think thatās fascinating and itās a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasnāt working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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thereās an island off the coast of bambouche.
you used to like this view, you think. now it just gives you a headache.
you keep looking anyway.
(greyscale version + sketches below)
hey guys. do you ever think about how close bambouche was to the island. do you think people in bambouche used to know how to use the stars as a map. do you think bonnie would try to look for the island when they look at the ocean in postgame. do you guys. do you. dā*GETS PULLED OFFSTAGE BY A COMICALLY LONG CANE*
also for the record this is intended to be postgame!! i gave them the pillow hat :333. btw this was. deceptively hard to draw???? i spent 5 hours on this. even with my looser painting style i still fall victim to perfectionismā¦ agoniesā¦ anyways!!! hope you enjoy!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#that water took me like 2 hours you guys better appreciate it#<- silly#upsides to painting on one layer: faster! less layers to worry about!#downsides: hard to detail shit thats behind the foreground. aaaaaaa why did i put bonnie on the same layer as the water#also!! those clouds!!! were a bitch!!!#initially i just used one of procreates Cloud Brushes because Lazy but eventually i forced myself to draw them#at least they look good š©¶#(i think anyways.)
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One wedding and three funerals
Background paintings under the cut
#tomgreg#succession#tom wambsgans#greg hirsch#shiv roy#roman roy#kendall roy#yeah no im not tagging everyone thats too much#this is me going 'how much implications themes and symbolism can i fit in one painting'#yes i gave rose shivs haircolor. if we ever find out how she looks like and its not like this im just gonna pass away i guess#but yeah i hope yall connect the dots#i put waaay too much thought and work into this. i was googling pictures of all the actors as kids just for reference (sigh)#honestly kinda wanted to make tom and greg link pinkies as like. a pinkie promise. but that was too hard to draw in this angle#at least not without obstructing the view of the ring which is important to see so ya#my fave is actually the tomshiv wedding pic i went off with that. i love them... they should have run away to become sheep farmers fr fr#anyway im so glad im done with this UGH!! finally i can draw smth else without being like oh noooo i need to finish this#i see a lot of you wondering why there is no portrait of logan but one of ewan#it's bc the placement of the painting represent their standing. logans portray would not hang next to the stairs#his present portrait hangs at the end of it. all the way up at the top. alone and withering away#basically the picture you see underneath ewan to the right? its where toms parents would be. the right side of the wall is tom and gregs#and the left one is the roy siblings theirs. since they grew up rich rich. and tom and greg didn't#but ya thats why ewan hangs here and logan does not :)
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This is what he said right
More meme accurate version underneath:
#guess who's reading transformers skybound!!!! this bitch (im not okay)#also guess who's really starting to fall for skystar (its me)#this is how i cope okay#i cope by making memes#pretty sure someone already made this joke before but who knows#transformers#transformers comic#transformers skybound#optimus prime#skyfire#skystar#implied at least#starscream#he's there in spirit#the fire burns#the fire crackles with joy#low quality memes#edits#memes#shitpost#transformers shitpost#i think thats all the tags#jetfire#tf jetfire#cant believe i forgot that one
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heres the cg in different halloween outfits because drawing only one is BORING!!!!!!!!!! and i want to throw all the costume thoughts in all at once
seperate vers
#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava#animation vs minecraft#avm#ava red#avm red#ava tsc#avm tsc#ava yellow#avm yellow#ava green#avm green#ava blue#avm blue#holy fuck this took me sooooo long .............#shading in particular took me ages#at least its ...done in... n... november. ......#SOBS#fun fact! herobrine red's whole hood is supposed to reference the huge obsidian stick#thats. one of the things im proud about designwise heh#lilacsart
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Heard he was part of the mob in his prime...
Bonus monochrome newspapery version!
Maybe -- just maybe! -- this is my version of Overlord Angel.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin art#angel dust#angel hazbin hotel#he wasn't 1940s enough for me#but at least the pinstripes are relevant now!#someone tell this guy theres no point pulling off a heist if your money bag has a hole in it#jeri's art tag for convenience purposes#had a lot of fun with this one! ty to my friend for introducing me to all these cool new brushes#yeah thats a stock newspaper background. it was so hard to find one that wasnt AI
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crusty evolution redraw. in theory.
#xmen#xmen evolution#erik lehnsherr#magneto#quicksilver#pietro maximoff#snap sketches#i stopped liking this past the lineart stage but i told myself id try to finish whatever i start to at least try and learn somethin#did i learn anything ? thats for me to reflect on. for now tho ramble time š#its painful to draw erik with short hair but sometimes you gotta get outta the usual !! <- never doing this again#ive been ahead of my schedule with stuff i have to draw so ive simply decided todaay will be My Day for personal doodles#idk why ive decided my first evo fanart should be the one where erik and pietro leave behind wanda but ok !!!!! freak#i have a long hair ver but i didnt color it. i was just greedy .. not greedy enough tho evidently#anyways i have like. idk what four episodes of evolution left ?? depressing this show's great ...#i didnt nkow theyd have a david ep ... a pleasant surprise but now im emo ...#OH WELL lets see what else i doodle tonight#this week's going to be annoying but i think i say that every week LMAO and look at that i get through them anyway#we'll be fine and chill team .. ok bye bye
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AY(OYM) CHAPTER 6!!!!!
Sorry to reuse buddy elf hater Teru I just think he's great. Fits the theme (not really at all LMFAO)
#i do not know how much time i have today but HOPEFULLY i can read the whole thing in one go#i would feel very bad if it took too incredibly long. it usually does anyways skskfjlskskf#ANYWAYS. AYOYM GRAHHHHHH im so nervous#for teru. and mob. and terus mom#thats like everybody LMFAO. they all have me deeply concerned#mob the least but yk. still worried#i am hazarding a guess as to how many times ill cry this chapter: 1#actually it was 2. REALLY REALLY INSANELY GOOD CHAPTER HOLY SHIT
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HELL YEAH PRI(D(EMO)N)TH
#yea lydias goth not emo but a guy can dream#hiiiiiii im love them#finals are next week as soon as thats over we are BALLING.#get ready for ALL THE ART. AT LEAST UNTIL WORK STARTS FUCKING ME OVER.#my art#digital art#beetlejuice#beetlejuice the musical#bjtmtmtm#bjtm#bjtm lydia#lydia deetz#PRIDE MONTH#beetlejuice is agender + pan (and poly obv)#lydia is trans + a lesbian (still workin it out)#i wanted to do this like. a week after i posted the last one. but its pride month now#NOT beetlebabes if you tag it with that i will stab you with brain knives#pansexual#agender#lesbian#transgender
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IM GONNA LOAD ALL OVER THE PLACE
#risk of rain 2#risk of rain#ror2#ror#ror2 loader#my art#yeah sorry guys im a little unhinged right now#yknow that thing where the twilight creator made a genderswapped version of twilight#and everyone was like āi get it nowā#thats how i feel with rorr loader#anyways#i hate drawing loader with the exoskeleton#even though i designed this one its no different to all of the other exoskeletons#one day loader will be the character ive drawn the least#for the simple reason that this exoskeleton makes me want to commit warcrimes#and not the fun ones
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substitute
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#moondrop#<- dca.. they're back in town ...#not tagging sun bc thats just their head :p#anywayyy hopefully this means something to someone. that's all i could ever wish for when it comes to my art#thats probably a bit too sentimental or something but sometimes it's hard to tell if the stuff you make is actually reaching people#or if you're just another person making content to satiate an insatiable crowd#is my art edible? is it a meal to you? is it a one time only thing? does it have any lasting effect on you?#is it just nutrients to sustain you? or is it something that will genuinely stick to you for at least longer than the first second?#i will stop talking now. you can eat my art as much as you'd like but can you at least savor it a little? compliment the chef a little bit?#for the ones who've read this far: this is actually for an AU i've been thinking about recently. i won't be sharing what it's about lol#but if you wanted some context for this... here you go. i'd like to think this has more meaning to it than just being an AU though#and maybe me not disclosing what the AU is will make you think about this post for a bit longer? it's a mystery now....#aaaand i just noticed i forgot the bells on the ribbon on their arm. great. excellent. perfect. whatever
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"why, I had no part in that. you've always been this way!"
just a little something from @morningstarwrites fanfiction "of saints and sinners" which i'm obsessed with
#im so crazily art blocked right now#but it's at least osas day so thats a win#someone wrote under my last fanart for this fic that my art peaked their interest in it and they went and read the whole fic??#that made me so SO happy#i fear lucifer looks way too annoyed in this one here#but i feel like after a certain point i was just drawing my own facial expression because im so frustrated help#at least alastor is happy#idk its 5am here and i should probably sleep#does any of this make sense#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#radioapple#lucifer morningstar#alastor#my art
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im still applying for jobs, ive applied for state assistance as well but theyre taking their time with approving it. i have bills coming up soon, at the very least i need enough to pay my electric bill bc theyre threatening to shut it off š¬ if anyone has anything they can spare itd be greatly appreciated. im transmasc and i have no family to rely on for this kind of thing. i also have commissions available, dm me for info
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearr
thank you šš
#idk what the secret to applying to jobs is but something is fucked up lately and i cant even get a stupid fast food job#ive applied to so many and got rejected by all of them or just straight up ignored#and thats WITH calling every few days to check up on it#i get either ignored or sent to a bot that just tells me to apply online or the manager has no clue whats going on#ive applied to at least 50 jobs this month and last month not a SINGLE one has given me the time of day#ive been to 4 interviews and got a few callbacks but theyre all dead ends#i dont know what to do anymore. ive been focusing hardcore on art so thats something but ive been working on my backlog and not making money#im just so frustrated and hopeless idk what to even do anymore. ive signed up for temp agencies even and they never have any jobs#its stupid that i HAVE a job but they refuse to give me hours. this is genuinely worse than being unemployed
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trans!soap taking his baby and running away from his rich abusive husband
(cw angst, financial abuse, single threat of child abuse, single mention of transphobia)
he's owned soap for years, since he was a teenager; paid for his medication and all his surgeries and tied them so deeply, soapās lost hope of ever getting away. he gets even worse when soap falls pregnant. he was always controlling; blowing up at him if he spent too long out of the house or did something without telling him. but he becomes utterly possessive during the pregnancy
soap knows it has nothing to do with his safety or the baby's
he knows he sees his baby as an investment; another being he can control and hold over him
he gets worse and worse but thereās nothing soap can do. there's been nothing he can do for a long time. then a few months after the baby is born, soap doesnāt watch his tone closely enough and his husband threatens to drop his baby in punishment for it
soap doesn't think. he doesn't plan
he takes his baby and runs
he sneaks out of the servant's quarters of the sterile mansion he's been forced to live in for almost a decade and walks down the street without a backwards glance; his baby the only thing in his arms. he knows all of his husband's cars have trackers, all of them in his name since he never lets soap drive or go anywhere by himself, so he walks far enough to be out of view of the mansion's cameras and steals one. it doesn't have a car seat and all he can do is clutch his baby to his chest as he drives
he doesn't know where he's going beyond away
he doesn't know what he's going to do; he doesn't have any money, no supplies for his baby, he doesn't even have water for himself so he can reliably breastfeed him. he's terrified his husband will find them; heās always felt omniscient, always everywhere and seeing everything he did. if he didnāt have eyes somewhere, he paid someone who did and they always dutifully reported back to him
soap just keeps his eyes forward. just keeps driving and driving, lost to the road and numb until the low gas light pops up on the dash and it all hits him at once
he turns into a gas station he can't pay for, in a car he stole, and parks behind it and his baby immediately starts getting fussy
he can't even call him by his name sometimes; too afraid to get attached, too afraid to lose him. as if he doesnāt love him more than life itself
even throughout his pregnancy, as happy as he was to finally have a baby, he didn't know if he could carry to term and that fear just let his husband dig his claws in even deeper; paying for extra scans he could never hope to pay for, favours on top of favours so he would aways owe him and isnāt he such a loving husband? taking soap in when his parents kicked him out for being trans, looking after him for all these years? you canāt even take care of yourself john, youād still be a woman without me, john, what is this tantrum about john-
soap tugs his shirt up to let his baby feed, drops his head back and cries
he can't stop it; wails loud and uncontrolled, chest heaving with his sobs enough that it sways his baby, occasionally breaking his latch and he can't even do this right-
he can't save him
a light knock sounds on the window and soap flinches, curling over his baby to protect him from his huband's cruel hands
but it's not his husband outside the window
soap blinks tears from his eyes and looks at the large stranger standing beside the car. a neck gaiter covers his mouth and it should be off-puttingā¦ but something about him stops the feeling in its tracks. the stranger takes a half-step back and lifts a chilled and sealed water bottle, pressing it towards the window
soap quickly swipes his face clean and rolls down the window. "sorry 'bout that," he apologises with a choked laugh, the careful front heās built over the years cracked and bleeding
the stranger gives a dismissive but somehow not diminishing shrug. "long day?" he asks
"could say that," he gives a shrug of his own and pats his baby's back as he makes a disgruntled noise, unconsciously swaying him
he politely keeps his gaze up on his face. "looks like you could use a break."
soap's breath hitches, anxiously darting his tongue out over his bottom lip. "could say that," he repeats uselessly and takes the water with a quiet āthanks,ā; his throat dry and screaming for it after crying so hard
the stranger hums, watching him down the bottle and soap doesnāt notice his eyes drifting to the backseat and footwell of the passenger side. doesnāt notice the slight tension in his fists at what he sees. "how long you been runnin', lad?"
soap freezes, the water settling in his stomach like a stone. he swallows thickly and the bottle falls from his lips
"not long enough."
the stranger just nods, looking idly back down the highway
"you know, this place is connected to a garage,ā he starts, nodding back to a building attached to the station without taking his eyes off the road. ālotta people drift through 'ere on road trips; too many to keep track.ā
soap frowns slightly, shifting his hold on his baby
āfunny thing is, plenty of 'em just abandon their car when they break down. like yours,ā he adds and finally turns back to him with a pointed look. āgot a whole junkyard of 'em. just rustin' away. be pretty easy to convince me to trade ya one."
soapās mouth parts in a gasp as he realises just what the strangerās saying. "how easy?" he whispers
he shrugs and even with his face hidden beneath the gaiter, he doesnāt feel afraid. "i'd say this car'd be a good deal. would blend right in with the rest of āem; no oneād ever notice it. what say i take it off your hands?"
soap's breath shudders out of him, his whole body going limp with relief. his baby's eyes fall shut with a satisfied hum and for the first time he can remember, he feels the gentle touch of hope
"i think we can work something out."
š§¼š
ghost owns the service station soap pulled into. he wanted something quiet and isolated after he retired and you canāt get much quieter than a backwoods servo surrounded by forest. he hasnāt had anyone pull in in days so heās quick to notice soapās car. heās also quick to notice soap's subsequent breakdown in one of the cameras. the sight of him crying, desperately clutching a baby like theyāre all he has left in the world, is so familiar he felt sick with it
he knows someone running when he sees it
if he didn't check on him, if this lad disappeared one day and the baby along with him, he'd never forgive himself. the lad doesn't even have a baby bag or car seat with him, and the personalised sticker on the back window of a lady and a dog is a dead giveaway that the car is stolen
but the lad is terrified. and when he startled him, he didn't turn. didnāt lift his arms to protect himself. no
he covered his baby
like he was afraid he'd be hurt
that's enough for ghost
š§¼š
i'd wanna set this in the 80's or 90's, just to make it even harder for soap to get away from his husband. he's a trans man with a newborn; he has no one to run to and no resources to help him. his husband's bought and paid for everything for him since he was 17; a few whirlwind weeks of unbelievable dates and extravagant gifts and he was living in his mansion, getting married the day after his 18th birthday. he thought it was love. thought he was being looked after and cared for the way heās always wanted
he was in pain and alone and naive enough to believe the first person who came along and promised to make it better. nothing's in his name, not his insurance or his meds, he doesnāt have a bank account or savings; other than a birth certificate, nothing even ties him to his baby. his husband could take his world away from him with a snap of his fingers and he made sure soap always knew it
he never had a chance of getting away
but ghost is ex-military
he doesnāt know the ladās story, doesnāt know the details of what heās running from. he doesnāt need to know
he decided he was helping him the second he pulled into his service station
#what up i had a nightmare about an eldritch horror trying to steal my baby and john mcclane from die hard shooting it to protect me#i woke up freaked out and decided to torment soap with it to feel better#thats literally the only reason this exists#that and the thought of soaps super hairy chest but thats besides the point#anyway#i was going to have ghost be a drifter after retiring but i like the idea of him being the unlikely safe person living out in the woods#ghost moves soap into the little one bedroom cabin he built behind the station#its hidden by the trees and kept warm by a fire. he gives soap and the baby the bedroom and sleeps out in the living room#he keeps watch out the window for whoevers after soap#he doesnt find out who it is for a while; soaps been burned and reluctant to trust anyone#but they gradually heal each other; ghost gives soap someone to trust and soap helps ghost heal his truma by giving him someone he can save#soap starts to work in the service station despite ghost telling him he doesnt need to but he wants his independence back#he finds he likes working and ghost cant take that from him when hes so obviously happy cleaning and shelving stock#soaps husband comes looking for him but ghost still has his contacts and calls a whole militia down on his head#each one of them with favours in the government if not outright political immunity; money means nothing in the face of them#they just threaten him; lets him know soap is protected now#at least; thats what ghost tells soap š#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weāre a team. ghost team#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#save post
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