#or at least funny

[megsdoodletag]

i swear i’ll post actual art on here sometime

i also swore i wouldn’t make 40k ocs bc i Knew they’d tend in this direction but i accidentally thought about a pairing for more the 10 seconds so they have a kid now i guess. i haven’t named her yet but meet the world’s smallest blueberry!

-She’s Guilliman and Yvraine’s. Don’t ask me how that worked. Cawl is there, draw your own conclusions.

-bc of the eldar natural birth difficulties Yvraine is like Insanely smug about having carried a kid herself. does not matter that baby is a halfling, baby can do no wrong and is also better than sliced bread and also toasters. However, the baby stays with Guilliman mostly bc mom’s adventures in the warp are not great for baby environments

-not that whatever Guilliman is up to is either but u know. they’re trying.

-when she’s little she sneaks into an ultramarine drop ship and they don’t realize she’s with them until they’re planet-side. Half the party hates being reminded Yvraine exists and want to leave her somewhere to die if not execute the xenos outright, the other half is like but she’s The Primarch’s Kid!! they compromise by teaching her the codex.

-she comes back home like [tiny baby voice] BROTHERS!!! FO THE EMPERAR!!! guilliman is like oh my god ur mother is going to kill me (yvraine does not kill him she thinks this is funny. you know those videos of babies trying to howl along with puppies? that’s what’s happening from yvraine’s perspective. except guilliman is very distressed about the whole thing which is even funnier) baby does also learn ynnead things but she can quote the codex back to front like the best of them and Will get into arguments about interpretation/intent law. She’s Very good at talking her way out of getting into trouble w the chaplains and favors unorthodox readings. she will also argue with dad when he’s being a hypocrite about a rule.

-Varro is favorite brother bc he lets her hide from the other chaplains under his desk when she doesn’t want to be studying.

-when she grows up she absolutely beefs out (finally, proof the primarch genes are in there somewhere!) and she’s essentially an eldar heavyweight bc none of the rest of them have the muscle mass. Her best friend is Boy Dorn, of tts fame, bc weird bastard non-marine primarch kids gotta stick together.

[cat-brrr]

Little guy alert

what will you do with him

[akiwitch]

I’m bored I’m gonna play that game where y’all vote for a wip and I have to write idk 1k per vote. That’s my August goal. Why not

[ribstongrowback]

hey i can't make it to Sorry For Visiting Wanton Destruction Upon Your Populace For No Reason Day yeah uhm its just that like you didn't invite my war crime friend and i think its kinda fucked up that you did that

[spitblaze]

"30 years old isn't old man" what privilege do you live in where your life expectancy is far past 30 years

This post blindsided me so bad I spent a full minute staring at it in shock

[inbabylontheywept]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[adaki]

Sry I’m late, I was being held in a maximum security prison on a secluded island and they had no wifi.

[catmask]

the 'all marriage is gay as far as im concerned' except its me watching a man and woman character in a show i like and accidentally saying 'theyre so gay' because i literally forget thats not the word for romance because to me all romance is gay

[morebird]

how could I resist mr. dark, complex and intriguing

[thirteendaysintaunton]

Tiresias: I see your wife........ with a ruthless man who has killed hundreds of people

Odysseus:

Odysseus:

Odysseus: *Monster starts playing* I will ensure that this man will be me

[geezmarty]

things I drew while playing aa2. and by "things", ahah, well. let's just say. gumshoe

[monkesupreme]

Making Bruce the kind of guy to work through his thoughts out loud when he knows hes allowed to. This leads to him rubberducking off of anyone who will let him, including, but not limited to his boys and assorted JL members. He latches on, and suddenly, this is not Bruce's Case, its Our case.

Despite him doing this to anyone that will listen, Clark tends to be the most available victim due to his extreme patience, his investigative skills, and love of listening to people ramble at him <3

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die

He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.

And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.

Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.

What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.

So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.

The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.

A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.

That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.

"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"

And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."

"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"

Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.

Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.

[eggramenart]

good for them but lmfao ???

[hinamie]

in spite of everything, I had fun <3

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut