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suna-reversed · 4 years ago

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HI CAN I REQUEST 58 61 AND 99 WITH SUKUNA🥺

Kitchen encounters with the King of Curses

SUKUNA X F!READER// fluff+ nsfw!!// 1.9k+

the 3 kitchen encounters that changed your relationship with Sukuna.

#58 “Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

#61 “If you don’t change out of those shorts and into some pants I’ll have them around your ankles by lunch time.”

#99 “You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.”

(Tags/Warnings- starts out with crack and fluff but MAJOR smut and filth at the end! Degradation, Oral (receiving), creampie, being bent over a table??)

A/N: you can either consider the reader to be in a poly relationship with both Yuji and Sukuna, or you can just take Yuji as your room-mate/friend.

-----

“Oh my god stop it- what is wrong with you argh-”

“I will burn down this kitchen the next time you try to put such an atrocious thing near me again-”

You snorted in the corner, hands coming up to suppress your uncontrollable laughter. You never thought there would be a day you’d watch the mouth of your lover try to attack it’s own host (and your room-mate) after Yuji had promptly tried to pop in a piece of coffee jelly into the mouth on his palm. Noticing your presence, the curse spat a few bitter words at you too while Yuji pleaded for your help in the background,

“He said he was hungry!” Yuji exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

“Well, I don’t think he did anything wrong then Sukuna, it’s not like you specified what you were hungry for...” You replied, tone laced with playfulness as you watched the mouth disappear from Yuji’s palm.

It was silent for a while, and you heard Yuji sigh with relief, but it was short-lived as the mouth once again reappeared on his neck, a smirk growing as it lowly said,

“Now that I think of it, I do know what I’m hungry for. You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.”

The comment was enough to make heat crawl up your entire face, prompting Yuji to shoo away at the mouth with his hand (not a great idea because he did get bitten in the process).

-------------------

“Where’s the milk?”

You yelped, almost dropping the said milk carton at the sudden intrusion of a deep voice that you didn’t think you would ever get used to. Turning around, you realised that it wasn’t just a mouth on some part of Yuji’s body that spoke, but the king of curses in flesh himself. Very much in flesh indeed as he walked around in just a pair of sweatpants. Concentrating hard on keeping your eyes above his chest, you asked,

“Must you get rid of the shirt every single time you shift?”

“Yes” he replied without missing a beat. You pretended to ignore the sharp-set pair of eyes that were darting down your bare legs.

“And why do you need milk ? I didn’t think you required food for sustenance...or even preferred it.”

“I need it to take a bath of course.”

You scrunched your eyebrows, head tilting in confusion as you contemplated if he was being serious.

He countered with a look of his own that made it seem like his request was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And perhaps..you can join me” He said while covering the distance between you both in two long strides

Your face flustered at his suggestive tone, a hand reaching down to tug at your over-sized shirt nervously. His eyes darkened as his eyes raked down your body once more. Your breath hitched in your throat as he placed a hand right beside your head on the kitchen shelf, leaning forward until you could feel his breath on your neck,

“If you don’t change out of those shorts and into some pants , I’ll have them around your ankles by lunch time.” he whispered.

You gasped, half intimidated- half excited as his other hand lightly trailed up your side. But then just as quickly, you felt the warmth of his bare skin leave as he took a few steps back away from you. Noticing the sudden emptiness in your hand, you snapped your head up, your eyes meeting a pair of mischievous ones , whose possessor now held the milk carton in one hand as he walked away whistling a tune you didn’t quite know.

---------nsfw below cut!----------

It would be an understatement to say that Yuji’s mission had been a train-wreck. The biggest flaw being that you, a civilian, not only got dragged into it, but were also gravely injured. The higher ups had only let him get away with it because despite being utterly beaten and ruined himself, he had still risked his life to make sure he carried you to safety. No one knew that it wasn’t actually Yuji, who had ended up succumbing to his injuries, but the malicious curse instead who had gently nosed at your hair, carrying you back home as he, in his words, “forbid you from leaving him alone in this ramshackled world.”

That was the last you had seen of him, Yuji being caught up in meetings with the higher ups as you stayed in the now protected apartment, still recovering. And now here you were, standing in the kitchen in a comfy pair of shorts and sweatshirt, waiting for your tea to heat up in the microwave.

“Well, well, what did I say about you not changing out of those shorts...”

Your entire body stilled for a second at the voice that had become as familiar to you as the back of your hand. Turning around, your eyes met his, relieved that he was finally back.

Sukuna seemed to be in a daze as you walked towards him, your arms encasing his torso as you buried your head into his chest. When you didn’t feel him embrace you back, you pulled away worriedly. You knew it wasn’t just the strain on Yuji’s body that made him seem tired, his eyes were sunken, almost hollowed out as he continued to stare into your face. Your hand reached up to caress his face as a way of asking if he was okay. That finally seemed to snap him back to reality as leaned further into your touch.

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.” He mumbled onto the skin of your palm, eyes moving up to meet yours.

Your heart swelled with joy at the raw tenderness in his words. Getting up on your tip-toes, you pressed your lips to his, hands moving to entangle in his hair. Small pecks turned into deep passionate kisses as your tongues clashed with each other. You lightly squealed as his arms wrapped around you, easily picking you up and putting you on the marble counter-top.

For once you were mad that he hadn’t ripped apart Yuji’s shirt as your hands slid under it to run your nails across his muscular abdomen. He got the message as he deftly pulled it over his head in one go, doing the same for your shirt and bra that were ripped off of you and discarded somewhere on the floor. Your shorts soon enough joining the pile.

Sukuna’s hands wandered and travelled all across the expanse of your body. Everywhere except for right where you wanted him. His mouth sucked hickeys onto the skin of your neck as his hands fondled your breasts, rolling around and pinching your sensitive nipples.

You cried out his name, a plea asking for more. It was the sweetest sound he had ever heard and the curse decided that it won’t be the last time he does so. His lips trailed down your body, making sure to leave a trail of evidence behind, teeth coming into the mix to leave a bite-mark every now and then. Looking up at you from between your thighs, he had never had a better view. His mouth watered at the sight of your dripping heat as he pulled apart your legs. You were literally spread out like a feast on the table, a feast that was all for him to enjoy.

“Plea-please- need you to touch me.”

“Patience, my love.”

He ran a digit around your sensitive nub, another finger dipping down to add some lubrication to his perverse ministrations. You swore you saw stars as he finally leaned forward, pulling your thighs over his shoulders as his tongue rolled out to lick a broad stripe across your folds. The moans of your pleasure mixed in with the slurping sounds of him licking away at your juices only seemed to spur him on further as his lips suctioned around your swollen clit, making you buck your hips into his face. One of his hands slid up to knead one of your tits as he continued to devour you. You suddenly felt a wet sensation across your nipple, looking down to see the mouth on his palm nibbling at your bud. The mouth on his palm pulled your nipple into its mouth at the same time that Sukuna’s tongue latched around your clit, his teeth lightly grazing the hood making you scream out his name as your orgasm crashed through you.

Your chest was heaving, eyes still closed when he came up, teeth nibbling on the side of your jaw as his hand pushed away stray hair out of your face,

“You were so needy just a while ago. Already tired are we?” He asked in a playful mocking tone.

“Not in the-” You panted slightly, “...least bit.”

He looked up at you, hooded eyes filled with lust as he licked a stripe right across your jaw to your ear, before moving away, making you whine.

“So impatient...” He commented, clicking his tongue as he pulled you up, melding his lips with yours once more as your hands moved to explore the expanse of his broad shoulders.

“I want you bent over this counter. Now.” He growled out against your lips, barely moving back as you rushed to hop down and turn over, his hands already pushing your back down.

One of his hands reached to the front to rub your slick heat, the other pulling his thick member out of his briefs, a moan escaping your mouth as he lightly tapped it against the inside of your thigh.

“ah- fuck-” You moaned out loud as two of his fingers filled you up, but it wasn’t enough, “Sukuna- please- need you to inside me so bad” You choked on your words as you begged.

“Only since you asked so nicely.” was the response as the hand that was covered in your slick now moved up to wrap across your throat as Sukuna lined himself up with your folds. You threw your head back against his chest, gripping the edge of the table as he entered you.

“I’m not even halfway through and you’re already so stretched out...stuffed all full of my cock like the needy little slut you are huh?”

Your eyes rolled back at his filthy words, hips jutting out towards him more as he filled you completely. Both of you moaned in unison as he started to move, hands gripping onto your hips tight enough to leave bruises as he relentlessly thrusted into you. You groaned in both pain and pleasure as a harsh slap came down onto your ass, followed by an arm lifting one of your legs up. His cock brushed against that one sensitive spot inside your walls at the new angle, his thrusts getting deeper with each stroke as you came undone once again with a loud scream, his name like a plea on your lips. Sukuna found his own release soon enough, pulling out to spray the lower half of your back with his seed, making a mess everywhere.

You were in a post-sex daze as you felt yourself being lifted up and carried into the bathroom. Soon enough, you found yourself being lowered into a hot bath, another body joining you as arms wrapped around your figure, making you sigh and nuzzle into the familiar scent. You felt your eyes fall shut, a small smile still etched on your lips, unbeknown to the two pair of eyes on the curse’s face, filled with adoration, as they stared down at you.

------------------

The next morning, you sat on the same countertop you had been utterly ruined on top of last night, the eyes of your lover (who had reluctantly carried you out from the comfort of your bed because you were hungry at 6 am and couldn’t walk by yourself) met yours as he pulled out the box of blueberries from the fridge.

“Maybe you’d like to give another chance to coffee jelly now-”

“I will kill you-”

“I’ll feed it to you if you want you kno-”

You were cut off by a pair of lips pressing against your own in a gentle kiss,

“I have something much more delicious right here already.”

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjksmut #jjk hcs #sukuna x you #sukuna angst #sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #sukuna headcanons #gojo smut #itadori yuuji #yuji x reader #yuji smut

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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I feel another fanon debunk session coming over me, and this one’s a BIG one.

Let’s talk about the DickKory breakup, and why it happened.

Yup, we’re going there.

Before we get going though, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: this is NOT an invitation to bash on Kory. There will be no bashing of Kory on this post if I have anything to say about it, and its my post, so I do. So nyah nyah. But seriously like, don’t get my reasons for making this post wrong. I LOVE Kory. I SHIP Dick/Kory. And I don’t actually blame Kory for any of this, no matter how the page I’m about to show makes it appear, for reasons that I will get into later in this post, but like. I really truly don’t. I don’t think the Dick/Kory breakup ultimately was either of their fault. I think it was the painful end result of them both hitting rock bottom due to endless external fuckery with their lives and their minds during the tail end of their relationship, making it all but impossible for them to be there for each other the way they truly needed and WANTED to be....ultimately forcing them to break off and BOTH try and reorder their lives on their own. But IMO, this NEVER actually marked a dissolution of their feelings for each other, no matter what either (particularly Dick) eventually claimed in order to rationalize things to themselves.

I do however think some of the other Titans bear some culpability for not seeing things as they truly were here. I can understand given what they all went through during this time period like, how maybe it became easier to just blame Dick especially as he has a tendency to be so willing to accept blame? And so I think a lot of conclusions were jumped to that at other times they WOULD have spent more time thinking through. But here and now they didn’t simply because they were so relieved to HAVE an easy, simple explanation for things going wrong and someone to blame, someone who ACCEPTED blame. And thus more easily allowing them to speed through to the portion of events where they worked on ‘forgiving him’ for what he’d done so they could all move past it.

Okay, so let me stop talking in code for those of you who have only the faintest idea of what I’m talking about.

Traditional fanon states - and most wiki summaries I’ve seen actually CORROBORATE this, which drives me COMPLETELY up the wall because I would like to have WORDS with whomever wrote each of these wiki summaries - that ultimately, Dick and Kory broke up because they rushed into things with the wedding and both realized they weren’t actually ready to get married.

Let me be clear: this is totally and completely 100% true.

Fanon and wikis go ON however, to conclude that the ‘fault’ lies with Dick, because he was the one who jumped the gun in proposing, and that he only DID so, because he thought getting married would ‘help him finally grow up’ and ‘hit one of the milestones he thought he was missing while everyone else his age that he’d known in high school and stuff were graduating college and getting married and having kids right about now.’ And also that he eventually concluded that he didn’t actually love Kory the way he thought he did and needed to let her go for her sake.

Now let me also be clear: this is also MOSTLY true in the sense that he did eventually THINK these thoughts, some ten or fifteen issues after their crashed wedding, when he was off on his own and thinking through everything that was going on in his life and trying to make sense of the decisions he’d been making lately, most of which he was unhappy with.

The one part that ISN’T true is that last bit, which a lot of people extrapolate from and use as their basis for saying Dick ‘fell out of love with Kory’ and ‘realized that he no longer loved her the way he once had,’ with this leading into why they never got back together after Kory returned to Earth in the Titans revival series in the late 90s.

HOWEVER.

There’s a tiiiiiiiiiny little correction I must make to that last part, which might seem insignificant, but becomes ABUNDANTLY important when added to some other much needed - and much ignored overlooked - context:

Dick never ACTUALLY said or thought that he didn’t love Kory anymore, full stop. What he actually said, in its entirety, was that he realized “he never really loved Kory the way she deserved to be loved.”

Why is this distinction so important? Hang on just a sec, we’re almost there.

Now I would like to share with you, for those who have never seen this page or those who perhaps have forgotten it or its significance, the EXACT page where Dick proposes to Kory, from The New Titans #99, one issue before their wedding special in issue #100. (What’s that? You’re surprised that they got married the very issue after the proposal? You thought that they were engaged for a lengthier period of time? Ohhhh don’t worry, fair readers. We’ll get there. Ohhhh we’ll get there).

But first, those of you who have never actually read this page before, I would like you to take a look at it, and see if you can Where’s Waldo what it is about this page that makes my blood reach a boiling point in excess of 2000 degrees Fahrenheit every time someone utters the words “Dick rushed into marriage because he thought it would make him grow up or hit some important life milestone.”

Take a gander, what do you see:

See it? Get what I’m talking about?

Any talk of Dick and Kory breaking up because they weren’t ready to get married, and Dick having been the one to rush them into it before they were ready, COMPLETELY fails at accurately representing the events of that time if it fails to mention the fact that:

DICK ONLY PROPOSED WHEN HE DID BECAUSE HE WAS DESPERATE TO CONVINCE KORY, HIMSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT HE LOVED HER AND ONLY HER AND SLEEPING WITH MIRAGE HAD MEANT NOTHING!

(Since, y’know, he didn’t actually sleep with her so much as he was raped by her).

I mean, your mileage may vary, but me, I happen to think that bit there is pretty CRITICAL FUCKING INTEL when it comes to this whole matter.

Claiming Dick is to blame because he rushed into marriage because he was looking to grow up or hit some milestone utterly FAILS as an analytical conclusion in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY....

When there is both ZERO indication from him BEFORE the proposal, that those are reasons or thoughts he has that has him leaning towards proposing.....

As well as ZERO reflection AFTER the failed wedding, that being desperate to convince everyone who thought he’d cheated on Kory that he really did love her, was at all a key motivating factor in him proposing when and how he did.

Like it or not, Mirage and the storyline surrounding that is utterly CRUCIAL to the DickKory breakup, because EVERY mention of that describes the cause of that breakup being rushing into marriage, and if you take away that storyline - and every character’s reaction to it - there is absolutely NO reason to even THINK Dick would still have proposed when he did.

And thus, leaving the Mirage story ENTIRELY out of all talk of the end of Dick and Kory’s relationship, is just....blatantly not indicative of what the story actually was.

Now, in addition, I know we tend to talk about this story as though DC sucks for never calling the rape what it was, and say that if DC’s not willing to treat these things as what they really are, they shouldn’t be using them as story points. First order of business: Yes DC sucks a lot and their handling of all this sucked.

BUT.

It is also not entirely accurate to say that they never TREATED this story as what it was.

Because while everyone else may have been fixated on it as Dick cheating on Kory....initially, at pretty much every point UNTIL the wedding....Dick at least was STEADFAST in not considering HIMSELF having cheated. I mean, look at his language in just the page above. He talks about being “repulsed” by what Mirage did. The writers might have never actually called what happened to Dick ‘rape,’ but initially they were VERY consistent in nevertheless writing him as someone who at least to some degree felt victimized by what happened, rather than culpable. He was trying to convince everyone ELSE to see it that way - until eventually he kinda gave up, and started to see it THEIR way.

You can literally see him already starting to make the pivot towards rationalizing that POV to himself in the above page....he talks about ‘thinking with his hormones’ and that leading him to make a mistake, even though his hormones had nothing to do with whether what happened was wrong or not.....it was always entirely about: would he have consented to sex with Mirage IF he knew she wasn’t really Kory. Thinking with his hormones in no way addresses the fact that its completely unreasonable to expect anyone to be so on guard 24/7, even in the privacy of their own bedroom with their own girlfriend, that they have their eyes peeled for an impostor even there.

In fact, imagine what the others would have all said if Dick hadn’t slept with Mirage that night, or else had confided in them later that it felt not right, that something was wrong, at some point BEFORE Mirage entered and told Dick in front of everyone that it had actually been her. How likely do you think it would have been that instead of taking Dick at face value, many of them would have instead viewed this as just another time Dick was exercising “Bat-paranoia” rather than allowing himself to be intimate with a loved one the way normal, non-Batfolk do, y’know? Do you think they would have automatically agreed with him that there was something up and he had reason to feel that ‘something wasn’t right about Kory’ when Dick probably still would have had no idea what for sure he felt was off, let alone that it wasn’t ACTUALLY her? Or would they have gotten on his case about how this is just him self-sabotaging again and letting his issues come between him and someone he cared about?

Tbh, one of the things that was greatest about Dick and Kory’s relationship IMO was that she was one of the best at getting him out of his own head. With Kory, when they weren’t both being jerked around by brainwashing plots and the like, Dick was better at just....letting go and just being himself around her. He didn’t feel like he had to constantly be on his guard or waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ironically, IMO, Dick DOES have a tendency to self-sabotage at times and let paranoia or other issues keep him from totally dropping his defenses and letting himself be vulnerable with other people.....meaning he probably would have been MORE likely to cue into something being off, if it had been anyone BUT Kory he’d been dating when Mirage replaced them.

So bottom line is, you can’t actually fully blame the writing for the others’ reactions to this story. Because whether they ever actually acknowledged it or not, for a good ten to fifteen issues up to the wedding, the writers pretty consistently depicted Dick as someone who was and felt victimized, even if he didn’t consciously realize it yet himself, let alone why. There were repeated moments between Kory initially breaking up with him after it happened through this proposal above, where it basically reads like Dick yelling “Ask me how violated I feel! Go on, ask me!” Except he never really got the chance because he was too busy replying to everyone around him that he hadn’t cheated on Kory, he thought he was WITH Kory, and that was the ONLY reason he had sex that night.

Slight tangent - this btw, is why I can never even get worked up enough about Nightwing Annual #2 to be like, defensive about it. That was the flashback issue written YEARS after all these events, where retroactively Andreyko inserted at some point between this proposal and the wedding - without changing anything else or the events he wrote ever being brought up or acknowledged again - a story where Dick went to visit Babs to personally deliver her wedding invitation....but only AFTER they slept together. And then when he gave her the invitation and she got furious about what had just happened, he just blithely said oh Kory won’t mind, and Babs was like yeah well I MIND!

Which was a totally valid reaction for Babs to have to those events as depicted, its just....I can’t remotely take them seriously, not when I’ve actually READ the events that by Andreyko’s own admission are meant to bookend that story. So you’re telling me, that right after Dick proposes to his longtime girlfriend SPECIFICALLY because he’s desperate to convince her he loves only her and would never willingly sleep with anyone else......he would go and sleep with someone else between then and the wedding? And then just without a hint of remorse say oh what’s the problem, Kory would be fine with it - when literally everything else about the wedding even HAPPENING was based on the fact that he knew for a fact that Kory would NOT in fact, be fine with that? Umm, make it make sense, except you can’t, because that story and the point where it makes sense are in two entirely different galactic quadrants. Green Lanterns couldn’t make it from Point A to Point B. So lol, sorry not sorry, I’m gonna stay not taking that story or claims that Dick is ACTUALLY a cheater, like, remotely seriously. I mean, your mileage may vary, but I especially don’t think anyone who can make excuses for Bruce’s many transgressions being OOC like, has any business trying to pass this particular story off as in character, but WHATEVS. Like, you CAN do it if you really want to, but I mean, I’m just gonna think that’s silly. I’ll be like OMG you’re so silly. Why are you so silly, can we just stop with all the silliness. And then like, I’ll go do something else or whatever.

(Oh and for the record, the wedding was the issue after Dick proposed, but it wasn’t meant to be like, the day after or anything. BUT we do know it was still pretty damn soon after, like at most a week or two....because the concurrent storyline was Roy being upset because the government was trying to shut down the Titans and said they would unless Roy took leadership from Dick and ousted him, which Roy understandably was NOT keen to do, even and especially with everything going on as the Titans were a family first and foremost and he was stuck between trying to preserve them and keep them going and betraying everything they stood for by basically instigating a vote of no confidence in Dick’s leadership.....but point being, Roy kept stalling the government agent asking for his answer......when said agent was very impatient, and asked repeatedly both in issue #99 AND issue #100. So you’re never going to convince me Roy managed to stall said agent for months or whatever, or any longer than a couple weeks at most, to allow for Dick and everyone else to put together a shotgun wedding for him and Kory. Which just further adds to the make it make sense aspect of the above mentioned Annual, but I absofuckinglutely digress).

Anyway.

NOW, let’s bring it back around to when I said like, don’t do the thing, don’t actually blame Kory for any of this, don’t you do it? /paraphrase

Yeah. So we’re there at that point now, and I reiterate once more for the court, like, hey, what if you just don’t? Y’know? Even if you’re looking at her dialogue in the above page I posted and are like, I’m feeling the urge, the urge to.....idk something that rhymes with urge but is bad I guess? Whatever. Just like. Don’t do it. Say nasty things about Kory because of this story three times in front of your computer and I will totally like, be conjured by that and crawl out of your screen all creepy girl from The Ring style. It will NOT be pretty. I am NOT meant to fit through there. I can NOT make it look good. You have been warned.

Okay so like, the reason I say none of this is on Kory even though I don’t make the same distinctions for the other Titans is threefold. No, lbr, its probably more on account of I can’t count and I’m always wrong about this shit. But let’s start with three.

1) The first thing we need to address is the fact that Dick WAS acting erratically and out of character through all of this time, even before what happened with Mirage. This was still in the near aftermath of Titans Hunt, and he was still reeling from that, and holding himself totally accountable. People who’ve followed me for awhile have probably seen me fixate on Titans Hunt before, but I honestly don’t think anyone who hasn’t read the full extent of comics from that storyline all the way through like....The New Titans #115 or so, like.....truly grasps the extent of just HOW much that single storyline affected Dick. He was at rock bottom because of it in a way that is probably only truly comparable with the Blockbuster storyline, but for even LONGER. Like the span of comics I referenced just now covers probably like....almost fifty issues.

That’s fifty issues where Dick consistently brings up his failure to stop that and how much Joey and Charlie and Arella and everyone else’s deaths during that like, just weighs on him, and fucks with his confidence and just.....his overall sense of purpose and self. He WAS lost and aimless for a lot of that time. And he DID absolutely even recognize HIMSELF that it was affecting him. Like ten issues or so after the crashed wedding, when he’s on his own journey of self-discovery while looking for Kory in the Amazon (uh yeah, that’s a thing. I’ll get to that)....like, he acknowledges to himself that ever since the Titans Hunt he’s been getting crazier and more demanding (his words) and he doesn’t even recognize himself anymore...and he attributes all of that to not having come to terms with their deaths and his inability to prevent them.

Now, notably, he DOESN’T ever at this time acknowledge that his behavior took an INCREASINGLY downward spiral ever since Mirage and specifically due to everyone blaming him for what he deep down felt wasn’t actually his fault but was losing conviction in. And quite frankly, even though he SAYS at this point he’s ready to move on from their losses, I don’t think that actually happened, but I’ll get back to both those things. First, the important point here, in terms of Kory, is that from her perspective, Dick had been increasingly unpredictable and not himself ever since the losses during Titans Hunt. Actually, given that she was the one who went with him to the Manor after Jason’s death and the only one who saw him come in and out and who thus knows the full extent of what transpired there - with this all happening not long before Titans Hunt - you could additionally say her awareness of that also has her almost prepared to expect the totally unexpected from Dick at this point.

Does that mean its right? No. But it does mean that its there.

2) Next. Kory was not actually offered the chance by the storyline to internalize what happened between Mirage and Dick from a stable, grounded headspace. Mirage KIDNAPPED Kory and replaced her before she slept with Dick. In the grand scheme of things, what happened to Kory specifically here is probably far from the worst thing that’s ever happened to her, but it couldn’t have been pleasant and I’m the first to yell NO TRAUMA OLYMPICS so in that spirit, fuck whether it was as bad as it COULD have been, and again, just acknowledge that it happened, and its reasonable and expected that it would have a negative effect on Kory. She was targeted and victimized by Mirage too. Not in the same way as Dick, but add that to the fact that unlike the other Titans, she was the one IN the relationship with Dick and thus the only one besides him that had a stake in what Mirage’s actions served as a catalyst for in that regard, like....she was not an impartial bystander to all this, and that needs to be considered. She was PART of it. It was her life that was hijacked by all this too.

3) Third.....it is extremely extremely EXTREMELY important here to acknowledge that Kory is herself a rape survivor. She has extensive trauma from her childhood in the Citadel, and that is bound to color her perceptions of what happened here, at least initially. I am 174% soooooo not here for vilifying another rape survivor in defense of a different rape survivor. Like, I’m just saying.....do not throw Kory under the bus for not acknowledging Dick’s trauma and trauma responses as a rape survivor in this story if you’re not also YOURSELF acknowledging Kory’s OWN trauma as a rape survivor.

This is key not because it says any opinions she had at this time don’t count, but rather that they simply don’t come from the same place as the VICTIM-BLAMING that is the central issue with others holding Dick accountable for his own rape. In Kory’s case, we have to consider the issue of projection. The ways in which her own experiences and how they’ve informed her DEFAULT perception of something that deeply affected her, might skew her initial reaction to experiences which share a LABEL, but not specific ELEMENTS.

What I mean here is both Kory and Dick, as of this point in time, are rape survivors. But they survived very very VERY different kinds of rape. Both were abundantly clear that they DID NOT WANT what happened to them, that they were not willing parties to what actually transpired....but what springs to Kory’s mind when someone says “I didn’t want the sex that happened” is understandably going to look VERY different from what Dick was describing when he said “I didn’t want the sex that happened.” So its not really all that unreasonable for Kory to hold those two things up in her head and say these are not the same, and from there jump to the unfortunate conclusion that Dick HAD wanted it on some level, else it would have looked more like her own experiences...especially because others around them were already voicing and affirming this opinion in various ways.

Again, is this fair, or deserved? No. But I talk all the time with other characters and with Dick himself about how its just not reasonable to expect characters - especially ones with highly CHARGED emotions related to their own parallel experiences - to act from an unbiased state or POV and thus leap to the most ideal conclusion without at least first stumbling through some other ones. So with Kory, her own context with rape simply CAN NOT be divorced from the fact that recognizing the central issue of this later moment in time was that it was a rape. Her own experiences and the likely projection of them onto the moment at hand add a degree of context to conclusions she arrived at that other characters simply do not have....and thus, again, its not okay to paint her with the same brush as all those characters. And unless you’re already somehow making a distinction as to why her reaction is different from others despite superficially appearing the same......then like. You need to be. LOL.

4) The other factor that’s important to consider here is that just like Kory was never offered the chance to RECEIVE information of what happened from a relatively grounded place and headspace....the stories never gave her any real time to think things through, process over time, and arrive at different conclusions from her earlier ones. Again, I talk all the time about how Dick’s experiences with the Titans pre-his time in Bludhaven were colored by multiple instances of brainwashing and his head being fucked with and being personally targeted and jerked around in a ton of ways? The same is true of Kory, and it needs to be given equal weight.

Their wedding was crashed by ‘the dark soul self’ of Raven - who they thought was dead - as she infected Kory with what she called a demon seed that was going to grow a new demon inside of her. Due to her possession, Kory spent weeks in a mental institutition, trying to overcome the entity inside her (with Dick sitting by her side and holding her hand through all of it, just FYI). When she finally did purge the entity from her, Kory took off and ended up in a village in the Amazon, with the ordeal having given her amnesia. Dick went after her, but he’d only just tracked her down when she took off again to foil an alien invasion using radio waves that she was uniquely suited to recognize due to being familiar with their tactics, but which pitted her against most of the rest of the world in like, the Ultimate Gaslighting Showdown as everyone kept telling her she was crazy (she was wearing a tinfoil hat to protect herself from the transmissions, the writers were deliberately not doing her any favors).

Only after that was foiled did she regain her memories, and while off the page she agreed to meet with Dick to talk about their failed wedding and everything that happened afterward, as he’d returned from the Amazon by now, where he’d ultimately come to his own self-realizations about everything (or what we were told to accept were his realizations)....in the end she took off for Tamaran without meeting him, leaving him waiting where they’d agreed to rendezvous. Again, I say this not to vilify Kory, because I absolutely think she made the best choice for herself at the time, and should have, and I don’t think Dick has ever blamed her for that and tbh they both separately came to the same decisions about needing to be apart to recollect themselves and figure out who they were and where to go from here, like, without having to actually talk it out to arrive at the same point. I DO raise this point simply to put out there that in contrast to many other things I’ve seen said about the break up......they....never technically broke up?

Like I mean, don’t get me wrong. They DID. They both considered themselves broken up and eventually moved on with other people, Dick with Babs, and Kory with a general who she married back on New Tamaran before it was destroyed by the Sun Eater (again, Kory went through some SHIT after their break up. Dick wasn’t the only one.) But I just mean like.....it was LITERALLY the most mutual break-up that is possible for a break-up to be, because neither one of them ever actually communicated their intent to the other in order for them to both CLEARLY be on the same page. There was no “Dick called off the wedding” - that never actually happened, it was just....never revisited. There was no “Dick told her he no longer had feelings for her” - that was something that happened later, and yes, I’ll get to that too. OMG shut up me. But also shh I’m talking.

But yeah like.....their break-up, despite being almost universally claimed as Dick’s choice and responsibility, with zero mention of Mirage’s role in it in any official accounting of it I’VE ever seen, and with Kory painted as being the victim of Dick’s wandering ways and not knowing what he wanted in the distant aftermath of their break-up, as it was said that due to being Tamaranean, she loved for life and thus would always be in love with Dick even though he after her return claimed he no longer loved her (like, I don’t blame Kory but I also don’t like takes that act like Dick DID all this to Kory somehow. Like that’s literally the entire point here, neither of them needs to be to blame or each other’s victim according to how the story ACTUALLY went).....

But yeah, despite all that.....it really was the most mutually arrived at decision ever, because neither one of them actually EVER EVEN SAID ‘WE NEED TO BREAK UP’ to the other. They both just....ended up there on their own.

(And also because DC wanted them there in order to secure the rest of their push to put Nightwing solely back in the Batbooks for the next several years. With, don’t forget, this all coinciding with the government forcing him out of the Titans and putting Roy in charge and with this all culminating in Dick having his initial adventure in Bludhaven at Bruce’s ask, and then deciding to make that his new base of operations and kinda reinvent himself there, at the start of his solo title. Again, shout out to the myth of “Dick Grayson always runs from things because commitment issues” - not only did he NOT flee to Bludhaven because he just changed his mind about the wedding and said whoops sorry Kory, it wasn’t even his CHOICE to leave the Titans, even if eventually he agreed it was for the best right now. His ex went back to her home planet and he was asked to leave his team. Why the fuck WOULDN’T he go somewhere else?)

NEXT. (jfc he mumbled to himself under his breath. what the fuck did I start here).

Circling back around AGAIN, this time back to Dick’s STATED reasons for deciding things were over.

Two...umm, fuck it, ‘a number that is more than one’ things that need to be kept in mind HERE:

1) The most crucial bit of context when examining Dick’s journey of self-exploration in the Amazon while searching for Kory and what he comes to say and think about everything that’s happened and his own behavior....

Is that he is an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator at this point in time. Y’know how we talk about Dick having that tendency to take on more accountability than is actually earned and is way quicker to view himself as in need of apologizing than he is to view others needing to do that for him?

Yeah I mean, that’s a thing, I definitely have like a billion citations ready to go on a moment’s notice, but point is, being aware of that tendency means absolutely nothing if you don’t actively APPLY that awareness to Dick’s periods of self-reflection and like....compare and contrast what he THINKS about things he’s said or done with like....what he’s ACTUALLY said or done.

For instance, on the way to his so-called epiphanies about all this, he makes the claim that the entire time Kory was dealing with the demon entity inside of her, he was being so selfish because all he was doing was wishing she would wake up or be free of it so that she could help him with his problems instead. (And just for the record, I can provide actual panels for everything I reference in this post, I’m just limiting myself to a couple because I’m just trying to NOT beat War and Peace’s pagecount as it is. Will I succeed? No. Did I try? Yes.)

Now, Dick spending his time at his possessed fianceé’s side doing nothing but wishing she would snap out of it and focus on his problems instead.....is that selfish of him?

Well, yeah.

But is it TRUE?

I mean, you tell me:

This is right smack dab in the middle of that whole storyline, set only a few issues after the crashed wedding, and before Kory successfully evicts the demon entity and loses her memories. This is literally what Dick was ACTUALLY like the entire time. At the TIME, every single thing he said and did was focused on her.....the CLOSEST he came even in his internal monologue, to making it all about him, was him thinking about how this has shown him just how much he needs her.

Do people helping a loved one through something traumatic occasionally have selfish thoughts where their awareness of their own troubles momentarily supersedes their focus on their loved one? Yeah. Does this actually make them selfish if their ACTUAL focus and actions and words are aimed entirely at their loved ones the whole time, with no single actual detour to “hey, while you’re up, can we talk about me for a sec”?

Mmmmm....I feel like no, but I am open to you drawing other conclusions as long as you are aware that they are wrong and mine is right, kay. I mean okay, fine. You can disagree with me here but I’m still gonna disagree about your disagreement there and its just gonna be this whole big thing and its like, ugh, whatever, y’know?

But hey, you do you.

ANYWAY, point is, unless you draw the wrong conclusion here in which case PTTTHB!, like, I think its safe to say Dick thinking in the midst of his self-awareness deep dive that he was being nothing but selfish during that whole story and thus didn’t deserve Kory, like....whether or not the writers are actually AWARE of it or not, I mean......that’s still a pretty good context clue that his internal monologues at this point in time are maybe a little bit skewed towards being more about accepting blame than reflecting reality, right? Yes, no, maybe so?

Well then again, if you agree with me, then add to that awareness the added bit of trivia that every single other one of Dick’s ‘ultimate realizations’ (he just wanted to get married because he thought it would bring stability to his life, it would help him grow up, hit one of those aforementioned milestones, etc)....like every single one of them.....was an opinion that was FIRST offered by one of the other Titans.

Every. Single. One.

(Wanted to get married for the stability was something Donna said she thought was his reasoning, to the other original Titans. The bit about thinking it would help him grow up was unfortunately ALSO Donna, but said to Kory before the wedding when Kory asked if she thought this was a mistake and if she thought Dick had proposed for the right reasons. The milestones thing was said by either Roy, Garth or Wally, I honestly forget which, but it was when the three of them went out to discuss the pending government takeover of the team and how to break this to Dick with everything else going on).

And with not a SINGLE one of these opinions present in ANY of Dick’s internal monologues BEFORE the proposal, hinting that they were anywhere near being on his radar at THAT point.

So....which makes more narrative sense? That Dick ultimately just realized that everything he THOUGHT was motivating him when he proposed was NOT true and that it was only his friends that clued into his actual reasons, which he must have overheard at some point and internalized in order to have replicated said opinions in his thoughts so exactly? Again with ZERO mention alongside any of this, that peoples’ views of what happened with Mirage was at ALL a factor in his thinking?

Or.....does it maybe better track, that over the course of Dick repeatedly expressing that he didn’t know it wasn’t Kory, that he never wanted to cheat on her, that he loved her and only her and would never knowingly do that....with NO ONE budging and everyone from Kory to all of his best friends acting like his adulterous guilt was an over and done with conclusion and they’d already long since moved on to the point of how willing or not they were to forgive him, based on everything else he’d been going through.....and with Dick thinking that how remorseful he appeared to be and how willing to ACCEPT accountability was likely to play a part in how much people were willing to look past all his recent fuck-ups here.......

Does it maaaaaaaybe actually make a little bit more sense that Dick’s total 180 into taking full responsibility and coming up with all these rationalizations for his actions that essentially just mimic theories everyone else had for his behavior has more to do with his deeply internalized acceptance that nobody was listening to his side of the story or what he was actually trying to say (without even real SELF awareness at the time that what he was feeling wasn’t just ‘I’m innocent of what you’re accusing me of’ but ‘I was violated and used’)?

That it was more about him finding ways to justify to himself getting on the same page everyone else ALREADY seemed to be on in regards to him and his recent behavior, as that seemed to be the only way to move forward, that he was tired of fighting everybody and feeling like he was in the wrong for it so honestly, maybe they were right?

Because from there.....

Its only a veeeeeery short hop, skip and a jump from “well I guess I DID do what they say and I SHOULD have known it wasn’t Kory”.....to.....”since the only thing I kept clinging to for how I couldn’t know was my insistence that I truly loved Kory, and it turns out that I still SHOULD have known anyway......doesn’t that mean that I didn’t really love Kory the way I thought I did? Or as much as I thought I did?”

“Did I never really love Kory as much as she deserved?”

Cuz uh, remember earlier when I talked about it being significant that Dick never ACTUALLY claimed during this time that he didn’t love Kory anymore or fell out of love with her or anything like that, but rather that his precise claim was “I didn’t love her AS MUCH AS SHE DESERVED”?

Aka.....”enough that I would have known it wasn’t actually Kory that I was with?”

Yeah. Uh, that. That’s the significance there. Yeah. So....

2) Now as to something else to keep in mind in regards to Dick’s eventual ‘self-realizations’ - this calls back to when I said earlier that Dick WAS acting erratically during this time, stemming all the way back to the Titans Hunt aftermath. He was overly aggressive, he was ready to fight anyone at a moment’s notice, he was tunnel-visioned.....in short, he was actually quite a lot how the fanon interpretations of his temper I rage about usually depict him. But the key thing here, and the reason why I wouldn’t have a problem with people drawing references from THIS time when talking about him behaving this way.....

Is that much like when Dick was behaving erratically during the Brother Blood storyline, it was with NARRATIVE INTENT.

There, Dick’s behavior led to the reveal that he was lashing out because he was fighting the Church of Blood’s mental conditioning. Here, Dick’s behavior is directly tied to his downward spiral resulting from the trauma of Titans Hunt and his guilt from that.

In both cases, I’d have zero issue with people referencing specific instances of this behavior....

As long as they ALSO reference and acknowledge the specific narrative context that was directly CONNECTED to that behavior. Its not about whether or not it excuses any specific thing he does, its about the fact that while these behaviors did happen, they shouldn’t be depicted as indicative of his OVERALL characterization, because they were specifically and deliberately written into his actions WITH INTENT by the writers, who were trying to use his DELIBERATELY out of the ordinary behavior to arrive at some narrative point or conclusion.

And here, for Dick, that was the eventual realization that he’d never fully dealt with his feelings about the losses during the Titans Hunt.

I don’t like how he acts in a lot of the issues around this time. Its ugly. But its MEANT to be ugly. I don’t like Dick’s fight with Roy when he tells him about taking over leadership because of the government’s interference. I don’t like it AT ALL.

But what I DO like is how the very next page after the fight, after Donna follows Dick out of the room, Dick turns around and acknowledges how out of control he’d just been and said he felt it proved that everyone was right, things HAD gotten to him more than he’d realized or admitted to himself, and it probably was a sign he needed to take a step back, and besides, Kory needed him more than the team did right now anyway.

THAT’S one of the core things I like about Dick Grayson, that almost without exception, his worst actions or behaviors are almost immediately followed by his realization of this and a tangible action or change in his actions to address it. That’s not something every character can claim - in fact, its unfortunately pretty damn rare.

But here’s the problem with that, in this specific scenario:

Dick WAS spiraling, he DID act out in ways he was right to be called out on and to feel guilt about, and there WAS basis for him acknowledging that there was stuff he needed to address in his life and his head, and to take responsibility for.

Thing is though, nobody else at any point ever stood up to point to where in his willingness to hold himself accountable for his mistakes and try and do better in regards to his friends and teammates and overall relationships....

He additionally took on guilt that WASN’T deserved. Because the other Titans were the ones who in their overall rush to judgment about his behavior and the reasons why.....still erroneously lumped in with the rest, their conclusion as to how the situation with Mirage should be viewed.

And frankly, though this doesn’t make them look good, there’s plenty of places you can go with that which don’t make them heartless monsters either. They were wrong, not to listen to him about Mirage, and I maintain that this tangibly WORSENED his already existing downward spiral from Titans Hunt, because that was already stuff he really could have benefited from support for the others from....and then this other thing happened that he additionally really needed support about, rather than blame.

Problem is, the overall impression given off by the other Titans was that they thought they already WERE doing their best to be supportive, by being so willing to look PAST ‘what Dick had done with Mirage’ and FORGIVE Dick for that, make allowances for why it and other decisions they didn’t agree with, like his rush to marriage, might make sense based on what they were attributing as the reason for his out of character behavior....the fallout from Titans Hunt...but ONLY that.

Like to be clear, I’m aware that there is a flip side of things in fanon, where some stans overcorrect on Dick’s behalf and act like the Titans all universally slut-shamed Dick and were terrible to him. No. That’s not what happened either. There was ONE slut-shaming Titan and ONLY one....and that was Pantha, who to be frank, like.....she was literally written to be the button pusher in regards to everyone. She likely would have said the same thing no matter who was in that situation, because she honestly didn’t care, she was just interested in making the cheap jokes at their expense.

The other Titans though did not adopt a slut-shaming stance against Dick...just a victim-blaming one. Which makes some things better, but some things worse IMO.

Its easier to understand how they could have all fallen into this trap despite all being seasoned heroes who should have known better than to view these specific events the way they did....if you consider that their fatal flaw here was ironically that they were SO quick to try and find a reason that Dick might have done this that they felt they could forgive....that they never actually thought things through long enough to recognize how quick on the draw they’d been in their reactions. And then they failed to listen to Dick’s side of things because they’d kinda convinced themselves that they were ALREADY doing him a favor and hearing him out by having decided to look past what he’d done and make allowances for it....and so they kinda filtered everything he was saying through a lens of like...waiting for him to catch up to what they’d already decided had happened and onto the part where he did the Dick Grayson thing and apologized and accepted responsibility for it....at which point they, as his friends, would be honestly able to say “already forgiven, dude.”

You could additionally factor in the idea that their very respect for his capabilities and high opinion of his overall ‘on the ball-ness’ made what had happened easy to view as something that’d just slipped past his radar, a rare oversight that again, he could be forgiven for, rather than what it was....again, something that he should never have been expected to ‘catch’ in the first place, any more than they would have been.

Either way, the real problem was always just that they failed to support him in the ways he actually needed, because they were already busy forgiving him for things he didn’t actually need forgiveness for because they were never his to accept blame for in the first place. But then BECAUSE Dick was already primed to accept the blame for what he WAS right to accept responsibility for, he overextended and took on everything that was held against him, rather than first differentiating between where a mea culpa both was and WAS NOT due.

No matter how you slice it, the Titans WERE wrong on this front, and Dick absolutely DOES have canon grounds to nurse some bitterness and resentment about, towards them. Again, with a lot of ways that can be approached. Personally, when I think about fics tackling this subject, my big want is always gonna be like.....confrontation fics? Like that’s what I’ve always really wanted to see here....like there’s a lot of obviously valid catharsis to be had in fics that have someone walk Dick through what a more objective view of what happened back then and let him finally unburden himself of all that unearned guilt there...BUT all the focus there is typically on that realization of the truth for DICK, that like....there’s almost never any follow-up where that realization is further pursued and extended to the relevant Titans? And tbh, I’ve always viewed that as the far greater ‘crime’ this story executed in regards to Dick’s character....not an overall obliviousness to his own victimization, period, but the fact that he was basically pushed into ACCEPTING a culpable view of events when actually, he’d always KNOWN on some level that it wasn’t really his fault and he had every reason to feel repulsed and angry and violated.

Like, I do obviously view Dick as someone with a large degree of self-awareness, in no small part due to how often he DOES do these introspective deep dives and reflect on events and actions and behaviors, and even though I understand the viewpoint that things look different when applied to yourself than to others, I do think its perfectly likely that Dick would at some point come to his own realization about what had actually happened with Mirage and why he’d initially felt the way he did about it. Maybe not before the events with Tarantula, but in the aftermath? I think he absolutely would connect certain things then, even if just because of how FAMILIAR everything felt to that earlier time post-Titans Hunt. The Blockbuster arc was like, the most rock bottom Dick had ever been SINCE that point, and various similarities could have definitely been pinging all over for him....the losses he suffered reminding him of his guilt for the fallen Titans, the end of Dick and Babs’ relationship, while based on more reasons than just Tarantula kissing Dick, like, still including that as a reason and so thus bearing an uncomfortable similarity to the last time he was held accountable for his rapist and now eventual rapist’s actions, etc.

And I do think that Dick having some realizations of his own post-Blockbuster could explain a LOT about his later interactions with the Titans, who I honestly don’t think he was ever quite as close to again?

Which makes a ton of sense if you view the 1999 series, and how difficult it was for them to get Dick to join up, and how he was plenty ready to leave at any point...like, that makes a TON of sense if you consider that Dick might have at this point been quietly nursing hurt of his own that everyone was so eager and willing to let bygones be bygones and ‘forgive’ his mistakes of the past, that nobody still had ever realized what he’d had to realize all on his own....that THEY all had a perception of events and like, their friendships, that included forgiving Dick for a betrayal that Dick NEVER ACTUALLY ENACTED. Where its like, thanks, but I didn’t actually need that, what I needed was someone to listen to me. But at the same time its totally understandable why he wouldn’t ever want to bring that up himself....because he’d already TRIED expressing himself on this matter years before, and been shot down, and its totally reasonable that he worried history would just repeat there rather than bring him the closure he WANTED on that front. But again....the distance he keeps a lot of the Titans at after his return to the team pairs pretty damn well with him being both quietly resentful of forgiveness he never needed and wondering when it was everyone else’s turn to accept the accountability for wrongs done that everyone was always so quick to demand from him....as well as why the last thing in the world he’d want to do is bring this all up again himself.

Similarly, this is why I think he always expressed to Kory, ever since her return to Earth, that he wasn’t in love with her anymore.....I don’t think its necessarily true that his feelings ever fully went away, and I also don’t think he’d bear the same resentments towards her that he did the others, even though Kory too ‘forgave’ him for something he never needed absolution for. Because I think at the same time, he’s more aware than most of Kory’s own history, and he has too much empathy for what all that likely stirred up for her at the time as well as his awareness that she really did love him and always had and that she’d mourned their relationship just as much as he had.

So I truly don’t think Dick blames her, in ways that can’t be said of the others, and I don’t think it was truly that he didn’t love her anymore, or that there was no longer anything there....I think he always just said that in order to protect himself, because he was still hurting from everything that had happened back then and how everyone had always painted it as his fault ever since, and his own traumas had only compounded those very specific feelings with later events like Tarantula and her impact on his life, and its just like......I think if it ever came out via someone else re-raising the issue, Dick would be like okay, yes, absolutely let’s finally talk about this....but I totally understand why Dick would never want to re-raise it himself because....he definitely did TRY to express his violation way back when. Why should he be the one to have to essentially.....retry his own case with his friends in order to finally get the verdict he should have had all along, y’know?

Its one thing to get that its probably never going to happen without initiating it himself, but its another thing for that to get you past the hump of just not wanting to relive some of your worst moments when your best friends not believing in you or being so willing to believe something about you in some ways did just as much damage to you as the actual initial violation.

But again, all that said, I would absolutely like, rob the Louvre (Okay I’d also rob the Louvre just for money but like. You get it) for stories where one of the Titans has an ‘oh shit’ realization about everything with Mirage years later. And they tentatively try and bring it up with Dick in the hopes of ‘fixing things’ by correcting the damage they’d done when making him feel it was his to accept blame on.....and for Dick to just be like. “Yeah, uh, I was there. I figured all that out a long time ago, I just didn’t see the point in trying to convince everybody twice.” And them like....being like oh crap we have to figure out a way to make things right, like all this time we’ve thought things were kinda broken between us because of what Dick did but actually it was the other way around and about Dick’s feelings about what WE did.

Okay now like....don’t laugh but I’m literally still not done, because I had this whole other thing about how now we needed to finally talk about the Zitka in the room, which is that IMO its always been kinda backwards to view Tarantula as the focal point of Dick’s traumas here and what happened with Mirage as some kind of footnote kinda....personally I think it should be the other way around. That its Mirage that weighs on Dick the most because what she did was premeditated where with Catalina it was a crime of opportunity. With Miriam though, it was always going to happen no matter what, because it only happened because she MADE it happen. She like....stalked Dick pretty much from the time of her arrival in this timeline (or at least how that initially was viewed - the timeline thing, not the stalking thing. Forget it. Weird story is weird. Doesn’t matter). But like....Mirage went after Dick with intent. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she was willing to do whatever to make it happen, up to and including kidnapping Dick’s actual girlfriend and taking her place.

With Tarantula, like, she was more than quick to seize on the first opportunity to make it happen, but like...that’s still a different thing IMO from like...KNOWING that someone literally plotted out and premeditated one of the most disruptive traumas of your life without any care for what it would DO to your life, and you later carrying all the blame for that in everyone else’s eyes without anyone ever acknowledging what it did to YOU....even though MULTIPLE people know and its even affected your overall reputation. With Tarantula....I think that trauma absolutely compounded everything else that happened with Blockbuster but it was hardly limited to just that, but again with Mirage....that one specific act pretty much derailed the entire course of Dick’s life at the time. Because again....while you could absolutely claim that there are other issues Dick and Kory might have broken up because of later, even without Mirage’s actions, like....you have to MAKE the case for those reasons. You can’t just attribute their breakup to rushing into marriage, when again....Mirage was the literal catalyst for Dick proposing when he did.

Which again, to bring it all back to the start.....that’s why it will forever make me channel Gar Logan and turn into a green-hued screeching howler monkey every time people are like I absolutely agree that its not okay to blame Dick for his own rape at Mirage’s hands....but then turn around and be like okay, but Dick and Kory did break up because Dick rushed them into marriage before they were ready.

Cuz.

Like.

THEY’RE THE EXACT SAME THING!

The one is just the other but described from a different vantage point.

faslkfhaklfhaklfhkalfha

I get if people didn’t know that before now, but please please please can we like....push back against the misinformation on this particular topic because omggggg is it unpleasant to repeatedly hear people contradict themselves in the same paragraphs half the time because they literally don’t know that they’re talking about the same events in both cases.

Believe it or not, I actually had a lot more about Mirage and about other ways things could have gone differently for Dick and Kory if he’d had even just a little more support from someone else at the time, whether from Bruce or even just one of the Titans, like all it would have taken was just ONE person to try and view things from Dick’s perspective and be like okay everyone hold up, some bad fucking conclusions have been arrived at here.

BUT I am tired and this is long and literally just...whatever. I’ll do that some other time. LOL. And I bounce.

#first person to try and tell me the wordcount of this is getting blocked I swear to fucking god

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bananaofswifts · 4 years ago

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Taylor Swift appears to be waging war over the serial resale of her old master recordings on two fronts. She recently confirmed that she is already underway in the process of re-recording the six albums she made for the Big Machine label, in order to steer her fans (and sync licensing execs) toward the coming alternate versions she’ll control. But now that she’s followed the surprise release of “Folklore” with the very, very surprise release of “Evermore” less than five months later, the thought may occur: If she keeps up this pace, she may have more new albums out on the Republic label than she ever did on Big Machine in a quarter of the time. Flooding the zone to further crowd out the oldies is unlikely to be Swift’s real motivation for giving the world a full-blown “Folklore” sequel this instantaneously: As motivations for prolific activity go, relieving and sublimating quarantine pressure is probably even better than revenge. Anyway, this is not a gift horse to be looked in the mouth. “Evermore,” like its mid-pandemic predecessor, feels like something that’s been labored over — in the best possible way — for years, not something that was written and recorded beginning in August, with the bow said to be put on it only about a week ago. Albums don’t get graded on a curve for how hastily they came together, or shouldn’t be, but this one doesn’t need the handicap. It’d be a jewel even if it’d been in progress forevermore and a day.The closest analog for the relation the new album bears to its predecessor might be one that’d seem ancient to much of Swift’s audience: U2 following “Achtung Baby” with “Zooropa” while still touring behind the previous album. It’s hard to remember now that a whole year and a half separated those two related projects; In that very different era, it seemed like a ridiculously fast follow-up. But the real comparison lies in how U2, having been rewarded for making a pretty gutsy change of pace with “Achtung,” seemed to say: You’re okay with a little experimentation? Let’s see how you like it when we really boil things down to our least commercial impulses, then — while we’ve still got you in the mood.Swift isn’t going avant-garde with “Evermore.” If anything, she’s just stripping things down to even more of an acoustic core, so that the new album often sounds like the folk record that the title of the previous one promised — albeit with nearly subliminal layers of Mellotrons, flutes, French horns and cellos that are so well embedded beneath the profuse finger-picking, you probably won’t notice them till you scour the credits. But it’s taking the risk of “Folklore” one step further by not even offering such an obvious banger (irony intended) as “Cardigan.” Aaron Dessner of the National produced or co-produced about two-thirds of the last record, but he’s on 14 out of 15 tracks here (Jack Antonoff gets the remaining spot), and so the new album is even more all of a piece with his arpeggiated chamber-pop impulses, Warmth amid iciness is a recurring lyrical motif here, and kind of a musical one, too, as Swift’s still increasingly agile vocal acting breathes heat into arrangements that might otherwise seem pretty controlled. At one point Swift sings, “Hey, December, I’m feeling unmoored,” like a woman who might even know she’s going to put her album out a couple of weeks before Christmas. It’s a wintry record — suitable for double-cardigan wearing! — and if you’re among the 99% who have been feeling unmoored, too, then perhaps you are Ready For It. Swift said in announcing the album that she was moving further into fiction songwriting after finding out it was a good fit on much of “Folklore,” a probably inevitable move for someone who’s turning 31 in a few days and appears to have a fairly settled personal life. Which is not to say that there aren’t scores to settle, and a few intriguing tracks whose real-life associations will be speculated upon. But just as the “Betty”/”August” love triangle of mid-year established that modern pop’s most celebrated confessional writer can just make shit up, too, so, here, do we get the narrator of “Dorothea,” a honey in Tupelo who is telling a childhood friend who moved away and became famous that she’s always welcome back in her hometown. (Swift may be doing a bit of empathic wondering in a couple of tracks here how it feels to be at the other end of the telescope.) One time the album takes a turn away from rumination into a pure spirit of fun — while getting dark anyway — is “No Body, No Crime,” a spirited double-murder ballad that may have more than a little inspiration in “Goodbye, Earl.” Since Swift already used the Dixie Chicks for background vocals two albums ago, for this one she brings in two of the sisters from Haim, Danielle and Este, and even uses the latter’s name for one of the characters. Yes, the rock band Haim’s featured appearance is on the only really country-sounding song on the record… there’s one you didn’t see coming, in the 16 hours you had to wonder about it. Yet there are also a handful of songs that clearly represent a Swiftian state of mind. At least, it’s easy to suppose that the love songs that opens the album, “Willow,” is a cousin to the previous record’s “Invisible String” and “Peace,” even if it doesn’t offer quite as many clearly corroborating details about her current relationship as those did. On the sadder side, Swift is apparently determined to run through her entire family tree for heartrending material. On “Lover,” she sang for her stricken mother; on “Folklore,” for her grandfather in wartime. In that tradition the new album offers “Marjorie,” about the beloved grandmother she lost in 2003, when she was 13. (The lyric videos that are being offered online mostly offer static visual loops, but the one for “Marjorie” is an exception, reviving a wealth of stills and home-movie footage of Grandma, who was quite a looker in a miniskirt in her day.) Rue is not something Swift is afraid of here anymore than anywhere else, as she sings, “I should’ve asked you questions / I should’ve asked you how to be / Asked you to write it down for me / Should’ve kept every grocery store receipt / ‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me,” lines that will leave a dry eye only in houses that have never known death. The piece de resistance in its poignance is Swift actually resurrecting faint audio clips of Marjorie, who was an opera singer back in the day. It’s almost like ELO’s “Rockaria,” played for weeping instead of a laugh. Swift has not given up, thank God, on the medium that brought her to the dance — the breakup song — but most of them here have more to do with dimming memories and the search for forgiveness, however slowly and incompletely achieved, than feist. But doesn’t Swift know that we like her when she’s angry? She does, and so she delves deep into something like venom just once, but it’s a good one. The ire in “Closure,” a pulsating song about an unwelcome “we can still be friends, right?” letter from an ex, seems so fresh and close to the surface that it would be reasonable to speculate that it is not about a romantic relationship at all, but a professional one she has no intention of ever recalling in a sweet light. Or maybe she does harbor that a disdain for an actual former love with that machinelike a level of intensity. What “Evermore” is full of is narratives that, like the music that accompanies them, really come into focus on second or third listen, usually because of a detail or two that turns her sometimes impressionistic modes completely vivid. “Champagne Problems” is a superb example of her abilities as a storyteller who doesn’t always tell all: She’s playing the role of a woman who quickly ruins a relationship by balking at a marriage proposal the guy had assumed was an easy enough yes that he’d tipped off his nearby family. “Sometimes you just don’t know the answer ‘ Til someone’s on their knees and asks you / ‘She would’ve made such a lovely bride / What a shame she’s fucked in the head’ / They said / But you’ll find the real thing instead / She’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.” (Swift has doubled the F-bomb quotient this time around, among other expletives, for anyone who may be wondering whether there’s rough wordplay amid Dessner’s delicacy — that would an effing yes.) “‘Tis the Damn Season,” representing a gentler expletive, gives us a character who is willing to settle, or at least share a Christmas-time bed with an ex back in the hometown, till something better comes along. The pleasures here are shared, though not many more fellow artists have broken into her quarantine bubble this time around. Besides Haim’s cameo, Marcus Mumford offers a lovely harmony vocal on “Cowboy Like Me,” which might count as the other country song on the album, and even throws in something Swift never much favored in her Nashville days, a bit of lap steel. Its tale of male and female grifters meeting and maybe — maybe — falling in love is really more determinedly Western than C&W, per se, though. The National itself, as a group, finally gets featured billing on “Coney Island,” with Matt Berninger taking a duet vocal on a track that recalls the previous album’s celebrated Bon Iver collaboration “Exile,” with ex-lovers taking quiet turns deciding who was to blame. (Swift saves the rare laugh line for herself: “We were like the mall before the internet / It was the one place to be.) Don’t worry, legions of new Bon Iver fans: Dessner has not kicked Justin Vernon out of his inner circle just to make room for Berninger. The Bon Iver frontman whose appearance on “Folklore” came as a bit of a shock to some of his fan base actually makes several appearances on this album, and the one that gets him elevated to featured status again, as a duet, the closing “Evermore,” is different from “Exile” in two key ways. Vernon gets to sing in his high register… and he gets the girl. As it turned out, the year 2020 did not involve any such waiting for Swift fans; it’s an embarrassment of stunning albums-ending-in-“ore” that she’s mined out of a locked-down muse.

#taylor swift #evermore #review

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lush-lavenders · 4 years ago

Text

❀Lay Off❀

Harry Potter x Hufflepuff!Reader

Summary: Y/N often gets mad fun of, just because of the house she belongs to. Harry, her new boyfriend, gets fed up one day and confronts the bully.

Request: N/A

Author’s Note: I don’t mean any Hufflepuff hate for this fic! I am a proud Hufflepuff, and wrote it cause I feel a lot of people really do hate on them. But anyways, I hope you enjoy it! (I don’t think this is my best work, but here it is anyways.)

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: British Cursing, Bullying, Fluff

!I don’t own this gif!

“Miss L/N, have you finished yet?” Snape asked, only interested in finally ending his class. It would have been just about over 10 minutes ago, if you had turned in your paper and didn’t zone out.

You snapped out of your thoughts, blushing with embarrassment. “Yes, of course, Professor.” You grabbed your paper and stood up, walking it over to him.

You could hear a couple Slytherins snickering. They made you want to shrink to the size of an ant. Which is something they probably would love to do to you.

Snape took the paper from you, quite aggressively you might add. “Now that I have all your essays, you may be dismissed.”

You went back to your table, collecting all your papers, books, and quill.

Draco Malfoy’s voice loudly made its way over to you. “Finally. I’m not surprised we had to wait for some Hufflepuff.” His pals laughed along with him.

You just shook your head to yourself and quickly rushed to the hallways.

“Y/N!” A voice called out from behind you. You slowed down to see Harry and Hermione heading your way.

You bit your lip slightly, holding your books close to your chest. “Sorry about keeping up the class.” She muttered, Draco’s words ringing in her head.

Hermione shook her head. “It’s quite alright. Ron would have done it if he could wake up on time for some classes.”

You gave them a small smile, not being able to muster up anything more. “Well, I have to get to Charms. I’ll see you guys later.” You waved a little before turning and walking away.

You heard two sets of footprints, but only one was getting quieter. The other one landed right next to you. “Hey, Y/N.”

You looked to see Harry walking beside you. “Hi, Harry. Is something a matter?” You tilted your head a little. You knew he was supposed to be going to class with Hermione, so you didn’t understand why he was going with you.

He shook his head. “No, no. I just wanted to know what you were doing after class?”

You thought for a moment. “Well, we have study hall next… And Oscar needs me to help him out with a potion… Oh, and I need to finish my paper for Transfigurations, or else Professor McGonagall will have my head…” She rambled on, tapping her books lightly. “But after all that I should be free.” You didn’t realize you were looking down as you spoke, so you quickly looked up at Harry.

He chuckled a little. He always found your rambling quite cute, which was something you couldn’t figure out. “Well, after you finish all that, I’ll be Hermione and Ron. Come get me, I have something I want to show you.”

You smiled, a genuine soft smile. “I can’t wait.”

Harry and you had been dating for a couple months now. While it was a little awkward at first, you two slowly became more comfortable around one another.

He kissed your cheek before turning around and walking to his class. You watched him for a moment before rushing off to class.

----

You smiled as you finished your paper, slipping it into the cover of one of your books. You then collected your books and stood up.

Oscar sat in the spot that was next to you. “Going to see your Gryffindor?”

You rolled your eyes a little with a giggle. “I’ll see you later, Osc.”

You started to make your way over to the Gryffindor table when your favorite Slytherin stepped right in front of you.

“Going somewhere, L/N?”

You sigh a little and try to step around him, but his goons basically surround you. “Please just leave me alone, Draco.”

He laughed. “Aren’t Hufflepuffs supposed to be kind and caring?” He asked in a mocking tone.

You open your mouth to defend yourself, but he just cuts you off. “No, sorry. I’m wrong. Hufflepuffs are just the kids who aren’t any special. They’re the house of rejects.”

That hit you kind of hard. Sure, you weren’t the smartest, or bravest, or most cunning, but you were still a good person. At least you tried to be 99% of the time. You didn’t feel like a reject.

“What? Is the little puppy sad?” He laughed. You didn’t realize it until he spoke, but you were on the verge of tears.

Harry came up behind Draco and turned him around. “What do you think you're doing?”

The only thing you heard was him say, “Potter,” before you quickly made your leave. You didn’t want Harry to see how much the Slytherin’s words got to you.

You ducked into the girls bathroom and quickly hid in a stall. You sat on the toilet with your head in your hands, crying.

----

Avoiding Harry was like a child without a cute smile on their face - impossible.

You had a few classes with him, so you made sure for the rest of the day to arrive right before it started and leave as soon as you could. You were surprised at how successful you were. Until now.

It was study hall, again, the time you were dreading. You didn’t know how you were going to avoid him now.

You sat at your house table, keeping your head down and praying with every fiber in your body he didn’t notice you. But what good is praying when you’re up against the Chosen One?

You were reading about a potion you were to do tomorrow in class when a presence sat down beside you. You, at first, thought it might have been Oscar; but when the presence didn’t say anything, you knew he was waiting for you to look at him. Harry was waiting for you to acknowledge his presence.

You just kept reading, pretending like you didn’t know he was there.

“Y/N.” Harry starts, his eyes trained on you.

You shake your head, stopping him. “I don’t want to talk about it, Harry.” You were quiet, but loud enough for just him to hear.

“Well I do.” He sounded as if he was fed up. You didn’t blame him. “How long has he been doing that?”

You shrug. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You mumble, knowing full well that was a lie.

He groaned. “Bloody hell, Y/N. I may not be Ravenclaw, but I’m not stupid.”

The mention of another house made you a little upset. “Sorry I’m not a good judge of character, like one. Or as brave as a Gryffindor to say how I feel. Or as cunning as a Slytherin to hide how I feel. I’m just a bloody Hufflepuff. The only good I do is when something’s wrong with someone else.” You went off. You didn’t mean to go off on Harry, but you couldn’t hold back.

He was completely baffled and caught off guard.

A chuckle was heard from behind, and the two of them turned to see Draco. “Looks like the Snuffleduff finally cracked.”

Harry threw a scold his way. “Shut it, Malfoy.”

You stood and started to gather your books. You couldn’t deal with this again.

He stood up beside you, turning to Draco. “Weren’t you ever raised to hold your tongue?”

Draco rolled his eyes. “Oh please, Potter. At least I was actually raised.”

“Watch it.”

“Or else what?” Draco pushed. “You’re gonna sick your Hufflepuff girlfriend on me? I’m so scared.”

You took a deep breath, turning to face him. “Just leave us alone, Draco.” You were never one to stand up for yourself. But right now, you felt like you were also standing up for Harry.

He chuckled, crossing his arms. “Turning a bitter, are we?”

Harry took a step forward, pushing Draco back a little. “You’re going to have to deal with a lot more than bitterness if you keep this up. So lay off.”

Draco scoffed, pushing Harry back. “Don’t try to sound like my father. Why would anyone ever even listen to you? Especially when you slum it with Hogwarts’ rejects.”

Harry took out his wand and pointed it at him. “Keep running your mouth, Malfoy. I dare you.”

Draco followed his movements. “You better watch who you challenge.”

It was obvious he was about to cast a spell when Snape came up between the two boys, grabbing their heads. “Cut this nonsense out, before I put you both in detention.” He forcibly made the boys look away from each other before pushing them away and walking away just as quick as he came.

Harry sighed and shook his head, fixing his hair a little.

You took his hand without a word, pulling him out of the room.

“What are you doing?” He asked, but still followed you.

You took him out into the hall before going out to the courtyard. No one was there at this time, which was a little surprising. You were relieved by it, cause then you didn’t need to go around searching for an empty place.

You sat down on one of the benches, and Harry sat right beside you. He looked at you expectantly, which made you a little nervous suddenly.

Fidgeting with the sleeves of your robes, you looked down at your lap. “Thank you…”

“How long has he been saying those things?” He repeats his question from before.

You sigh and shrug. “I don’t know. Since we became friends, maybe?”

You couldn’t see his face, but you could tell he was kind of upset. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Shrugging was a friend of yours. “Why tattle about something that’s true?”

He shook his head, putting a hand under your chin and making you look at him. “That’s not the truth, okay? Nothing about what he says is even close. You are one of the most brilliant girls I’ve ever met. You're genuine and amazing in your own way.”

You felt yourself start to blush. “You’re just saying that…”

“I’m not.” He shakes his head again, holding your hands. “There is not a single other girl I can imagine spending my time with than you.”

You smile, letting yourself finally listen to his words. “I don’t think Hermione would like you saying that.” You said with a giggle.

Harry smiled, happy he finally got through to you. “Then let’s not tell her.”

He started to lean in, and you followed suit. When your lips met, you relaxed fully. You might have been dating for a little while, but this was the first time you ever kissed.

The bliss and pure joy that erupted from it made it clear to you that you would go to war for this boy, and he would go to war for you.

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter Imagine #Harry Potter One Shot #Harry Potter x reader #Harry Potter x You #Harry x Reader #Harry x You #Harry Imagine #Harry One Shot #Harry Potter Fanfiction #Harry Potter Fanfic #Fanfiction #Fanfic

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talpup · 4 years ago

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Summary: Yami Sukehiro just wanted to join the Magic Knights and make his mentor proud. He knew there would be trails. He knew trouble would come his way. Knew he would be faced with discrimination for being a foreigner and a peasant. What he didn’t know. Didn’t expect. Was that literal Chaos would come his way. That he and his mentor’s sister would be at the center of world ending trouble. Or that he would fall in love with his mentor’s sister and face more than discrimination; but the jealously of Nozel Silva who loved the same woman he did.

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, sexual behavior, and other possible triggers. For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

***Unlike most chapters which are segmented into a days events, this one is a continuation of the same day as the previous chapter.

Chapter 99

Yami and Teris had spent the evening out at the Saber Wolf pens. It had meant missing supper but neither had minded. With the way Yami had been this last month or so, it was clear he needed space to breath. And with events having Jax bar Yami from going out riding, cuddling after sharing what happened during each others morning had been the least and best Teris could offer.

In truth, Teris had needed the breather too. Her reluctance to leave the space and return to the rest of the world and its never ending troubles leading her to tarry longer than she normally would have. Yami hadn’t been happy about the reminder of this evenings meeting. But his hope that Jax would finally tell them whatever it was he had been hiding for the past few weeks kept him from putting up much of a fight when Teris said they should head in.

Jax was coming up from the back hall when Yami and Teris entered the house. “There you two are. I was getting ready to send someone out to search for you.” His eyes narrowed. “You didn’t go out riding did you?”

“No.” Yami glowered.

Teris sighed heavily. There went any release of tension their evening together had brought.

Jax huffed at Yami’s growling tone. “I see you’re still in a temper.”

“Yami!” Bran dashed down the stairs. Seeing Jax, he straightened and gave him a nod. “Captain.” Clearing his throat, he turned back to Yami. “I need to talk with you.”

“It’ll have to wait, Bran. I have a meeting with my Vice Captain's.” Jax turned, expecting Yami and Teris to follow.

“It can’t wait! It’s important.” Bran blurted.

Jax turned back, brow raised. Bran wasn’t the type to challenge.

Looking up at Yami, Bran told. “It—it has to do with that thing we talked about at my family's farm on Vanessa’s birthday.”

Yami rubbed the back of his neck, muttering a curse.

“What’s he talking about?” Teris asked Yami.

“You know what this meeting is for. Is this really that important?” Jax asked, subtlety reminding Yami of the people waiting in his office.

“Yeah.” Yami told the Captain. He looked down at Bran. “It better be.”

“Fine. Teris. With me.” Jax pointed at Yami. “My office, quick as you can.”

Yami gave Jax a nod.

Teris hesitated by Yami’s side.

Hand brushing down her arm, Yami tilted his head toward Jax, encouraging Teris to follow the Captain. “I’ll be there in a bit.”

99.1.2

“Where’s Yami?” Greywright asked when Jax entered with only Teris.

“Had something important to deal with. He’ll be here shortly.” Jax closed the office door.

“Well in that case. If I may, I’d like to start by discussing the meeting I had with Teris this afternoon at Magic Investigations.” Marx said, not wanting to spend the evening repeating themselves to catch Yami up. He looked at Teris. “I am correct in figuring you already told Yami about that, yes?”

Sinking into a hard-backed chair, Teris nodded.

“You had a meeting with one of my Vice Captain's?” Jax turned from Marx to Teris. “Why didn’t I know of this?”

Teris opened her mouth to explain; but Marx spoke up first, telling Jax, Greywright, and Julius about the small painting Magic Investigations had unearth in the ruins of Yurist’s lab. Marx stopped at the point where he had asked Teris to look at the portrait and ask the History of Chaos about it.

Julius turned to his sister. “You had never thought to ask the History of Chaos about its author before?”

At his incredulous tone, Teris became defensive. “It’s called the History of Chaos! How was I to know it had any information about Yurist himself?”

“Because most authors put some kind of note or forward in their work.” Julius shot back.

“Enough.” Greywright ordered.

Caught between annoyed and humored, Jax complained. “You two are such siblings.”

“I said, enough.” Greywright rumbled. He glanced at Julius, thinking the same as Jax and cursed the way of things. Even if everything worked out to its best possible outcome, Julius and Teris would still face hardship and heartache.

A Wizard King gave up all family ties to serve the kingdom and its people. On paper it sounded sensible. It kept the Wizard King, and therefore the Magic Knights from focusing on the welfare of certain citizens. Cutting ties and taking on a new last name also meant enemies couldn’t exploit a familial weakness, since there wasn’t any. But in reality, many Magic Knights still focused on the welfare of certain citizens. And while enemies might not be able to fully exploit a familial weakness; becoming Wizard King, cutting ties and changing your family name didn’t erase the love and experiences one had before those ties were cut.

Sighing, Greywright focused on Teris. “What did the page of Chaos say when faced with this portrait Magic Investigations found?”

“It’d be easier if I just showed you.” Teris unclasped the case that hung at the back of her waist and called forth her grimoire. The tome landed in her hand, falling open to the page of Chaos.

Julius didn’t even try to tamp down his curiosity. Getting to his feet, he moved to stand behind his sister eagerly looking over her shoulder.

“Who is this?” Teris asked the page, thinking of the man and pregnant woman she had seen in the portrait.

“There’s a mental link?” Jax uttered, unnerved.

“What’s that?” Marx asked, turning to him.

“Since when could she think something and have the page pull an image from her head?” Jax asked, wondering why no one else seemed distressed by this.

Marx blinked, eyes going wide at the disturbing realization. He censured himself for missing such a thing when just this morning he had asked Teris if all Nova’s were guilty of ignoring the painfully obvious.

Too mesmerized by what looked like ink billowing on the page of Chaos, Julius didn’t even hear them. The swirling dark liquid coalesced into letters, words, and finally full sentences. He reached without thought, needing to get a better look at the magical sight.

Teris gladly let her brother take the spell-book, having read the answering message twice. Once with Marx and then when she had shown Yami.

“My son is death.” Julius read. He looked up at Jax and Greywright, and clarified. “Lower case ‘d’.”

Jax exhaled, relieved at the distinction.

Eyes lowering, Julius continued reading. “He killed my beloved Celeste who died bringing him into this world. A world dimmed of light and full of darkness now that she’s gone.”

“Little ‘l’ and ‘d’?” Jax asked.

Julius nodded and went on. “If I had seen it, I would have stopped it. Found some way to save my sweet, beautiful beloved. What good is a Prophecy Mage who cannot see what will effect him most? But the more connected I am to a happening, the harder it is for me to see. I left my newborn son with a governess and threw myself into my work. Years must’ve passed for he is now grown. I didn’t even know Erin had left for the Spade Kingdom until this portrait had arrived. He looks happy. He and his bride, heavy with their child. He and Mir—“ Julius faltered, looking up at the others, “Mira Spade.”

The Azure Deers Captain looked at Marx. “Not the Mira Spade?”

“The time frame fits. Though we have no images of her. So even if we had a proper date, we wouldn’t be able to say for certain.” Marx answered.

“Why? Who’s Mira Spade?” Jax asked.

“The daughter of some long past Spade Kingdom King.” Greywright said. “There’s not much we really know of her. But the little we do has fed into some fantastical tales. It was said she married a foreigner who took her name as a show of fealty to his new home and family. Story says she was cursed for the marriage, and began to wither soon after becoming pregnant. She supposedly didn’t last till term. Weakening and dying. It’s said the babe was cut out of her. And despite being only seven months, that the child lived. That every nursemaid that came on to care for the child began to wither and weaken just like Mira had; all the while the child continued to get stronger.”

They all stared at the Magic Knights Commander.

“What? I know things too.” Greywright said.

“Hear the story from Sabine?” Julius teased, mentioning the Knights Commander’s ex who had once been an Investigations Mage.

Greywright colored slightly at being caught. “It was a favorite tale of hers.”

“And tale is all it is. For there is little we actually know about Mira Spade.” Marx said.

“Well I guess you now know she married Yurist’s son. Bet you and your fellows in Investigations will have a field day with that.” Jax said.

Marx had to admit that confirmation of such a long held question many had wondered over would be a rather large deal in Magic Investigations. That was if he wrote up a report detailing the discovery. “There will be no field days for Magic Investigations yet, Captain. The meeting I had with Teris was off book for a reason.”

Greywright nodded, glad he wouldn’t have to tell Marx to keep quiet. “He’s right. So long as Ellara is running Magic Investigations, nothing about Yami, Teris, or what we learn about the Agents of Chaos can be reported over there. That includes anything involving the History of Chaos, Yurist, or any of his other works.” He looked at Julius. “What else does the page say?”

Teris shook her head even as Julius answered. “That’s it.”

“But what does it even have to do with Yami, Teris, or the Agents of Chaos? Other than that Yami and Teris have the History of Chaos and Yurist wrote it and had a son who married some Spade Kingdom Princess who died before their child was born?” Jax asked.

Marx opened his mouth to answer. But before he could speak, a knocked sounded. Yami entered with Bran in tow.

Jax shot to his feet. “What’s going on?”

“That important matter was even more important than I thought.” Yami said, closing the door behind Bran. Sighing, he told them of the task he gave Bran the day of Vanessa’s party.

Jax stared in disbelief. “You ordered him to spy on members of his own squad? My squad!”

“Asked.” Yami corrected.

Jax scoffed, anger bubbling. “As if he’d tell you no, even if you weren’t his Vice Captain. In case you haven’t noticed, Yami, the boy looks up to you.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, the kid’s grown up.” Yami snapped back. “Yeah, he’s a bit creepy with the way he looks up to me. But I made it clear this wasn’t an order but a personal and dangerous ask that could land him in trouble if caught.”

Bran colored slightly, embarrassed at being called creepy and being discussed so openly.

Jax shook his head, still upset.

“If he didn’t have the backbone to tell me no, I wouldn’t have asked.” Yami said.

Though nervous, Bran took a step forward. “I did it cause I wanted to help.”

Jax ignored Bran. “What did you tell him? Did you tell him about Ellara? Yami. What were you thinking!”

“I was thinking that we have an unwitting spy and a creepy ass bastard, who knows more than he’s saying, living under this roof and it would be nice to know what they were up to when they thought no one was watching.” Yami said, his own anger rising.

“He has a point.” Greywright said. “While I trust that you, Yami, and Teris are careful about what you say around Olsen; this is one area we can be pro-active about. None of us want to think Olsen is being used to spy but what if Ellara used him to plant something?”

Jax frowned. “Plant what?”

Greywright shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s the point. None of us know. Bran’s ability to listen in was invaluable during the Nine Day War. It would be a waste not to make use of him.”

Bran ducked his head, tinting at the praise.

“Make use of him against my own people?” Jax challenged. Before Greywright could speak, he sighed and turned to Bran. “What did you overhear?”

Bran quickly told how he had been riding a Jay following Iban through the forest when Ellara appeared, and had then explained how he jumped into several bees to listen in.

Jax was barely able to keep silent and let Bran finish. As soon as he was done, the Black Bulls Captain exclaimed. “She’s married to him!”

Disturbing as that was. As troubled as Teris was hearing Bran tell of the deal Iban had with Alowishus, the entire thing sounding as if the Blood Mage use to have some personal and not just ancestral connection to the Agents of Chaos; she was more concerned about Yami.

Settling down Jax a glanced at Julius, Greywright, and Marx. Naturally, he had told them about Iban and the binding vow Alowishus forced Iban into. Jax had been disappointed when Julius and Marx confirmed that such a binding blood vow couldn’t be broken without suffering the ill effects stipulated when the vow was made; but somewhat reassured that Iban hadn’t lied about it.

The Black Bulls Captain looked at Yami. “Well I suppose that explains your temper. Good to know, I guess.”

Teris didn’t see anything good about any of this. The Darkness within Yami was affecting his temperament, and according to what Bran overheard would consume him if left to grow.

“What do they mean, ’more desirous of Teris’?” Julius questioned, protective brotherly instinct simmering to the surface.

Mildly chagrined, Yami rubbed the back of neck, avoiding his mentor’s gaze. “Yeah. I’ve been struggling a bit. Feeling pent up and angry. But the force inside me isn’t going to consume me. I’m handling it.” He shot Jax a brooding look. “Though it’d help if Teris and I could go riding on our wolves.”

Jax’s eyes narrowed.

Yami looked at Teris asking the question he had wanted to ask but hadn’t because he didn’t want to worry her. “Did you have the same problem in the year leading up to the Solstice?”

“Yeah, but not--”

Teris was cut off by Julius. “If the ritual the Agents of Chaos did on the Summer Solstice released the building force inside Teris. What happens to Yami when we stop them from doing the same to him for the Winter Solstice?”

Teris’ eyes widened, darting from Julius and back to Yami.

“Let’s table that disturbing thought and come back around to it.” Greywright said. “Everyone take a seat.”

Jax sat back down, while Julius handed Teris back her grimoire and returned to his place on the sofa. Yami pulled a hard-backed chair next to Teris’ and sat down beside her.

Bran looked about nervously. He hadn’t been invited to this meeting. He hadn’t even known the Magic Knights Commander, Captain Julius, and a top ranking Investigations Mage had been in here. Yami had merely brought him in to relay what he had overheard while riding the bees.

“Take a seat, Bran. You’re a part of this now.” Greywright said.

Even though the Commander outranked his Captain, Bran looked to Jax for confirmation.

Jax nodded.

Bran looked at Yami. This clearly surrounded him and Teris. If either Vice Captain told him to leave--

“Sit!” Yami barked.

Bran nearly sat on the floor in his rush to comply. He managed to back up a step and sit on a chest near the door.

“There’s that temper again.” Jax chastised.

“No. That’s just Yami.” Julius said, hiding his humor in his sympathy for Bran.

Greywright rubbed his forehead and sighed, thinking he was surrounded by a bunch of children. “Julius, even though Marx was the one to discover it, Shadow was once a Captain of your squad. So why don’t you tell Teris.”

Instead of telling, Julius picked up a fabric bound book from the coffee table and handed it to his sister.

“What is it?” Teris asked, taking the book.

“It’s the last journal of Captain Shadow Banashe.” Julius saw the change in Teris’ expression, and gave her a reproving look. “I see you recognize the name.”

“She made no mention of Captain Shadow’s name in her report or debriefing of the geyser labyrinth.” Jax said of Teris.

“I got it from you.” Teris said, looking at Marx.

Eyebrows knitting together, Marx opened his mouth to refute ever telling her such a thing.

“Well not you directly.” Teris went on. “There were several files left open on the table during my debriefing that day. I didn’t see her last name but I saw the first, and that she had been a Captain of the Azure Deers.”

Julius’ expression darkened, disapproval growing.

Marx bristled at the violating breach of classified files. Julius never would've done such a thing. Well, Marx amended in his head, Julius’ obsessive curiosity most definitely would’ve seen him do such a thing; but he never would’ve admitted to it without any sign of guilt or shame the way Teris just had.

Jax ran a hand over his face, both exasperated and impressed by his Vice Captain.

Thinking she would make one hell of a Magic Knights Commander one day, Greywright fought a smirk hoping Sir Jorah truly could find a way to keep Teris from being banished for her refusal to wed Nozel.

“Did you see anything else?” Greywright asked.

“Nothing of use or that I’ve been able to piece together to make sense of.” Teris frowned, annoyed with herself. Shadow had been the Clover Kingdoms last light magic user before her. The mummified corpse had called herself the Light Bringer and Harbinger of Darkness. She looked down at the long dead Captain's journal, the cover frayed and faded. “When did you find this thing?”

“The day before Flic turned himself over to your comrades.” Marx said.

Teris’ frown deepened. She had held so much hope that Commander Greywright would learn something about the Agents of Chaos’ plans or whereabouts from Flic; but it seemed that even when something was dropped right in their lap, nothing of sizable use came from it. It was frustrating. They were always one step behind Alowishus and his followers. No. That was far too generous; they were no where near that close. They were barely working on the same playing field.

“That was seven days ago. You all keeping stuff from us again?” Yami asked, eyes on Jax.

Jax stared back. Even though he had listened to Commander Greywright and Julius despite his own wanting to tell Yami and Teris about the leather bound journal he found four weeks ago, he wasn’t about to be shamed by his Vice Captain for it.

“It wasn’t like we had much of a chance. What with Nozel and Fuegoleon turning up missing the morning after Flic turned himself in. You and Teris being taken later that evening. Flic becoming gravely ill two days after you returned, and then him dying yesterday.” Julius said, in defense of himself and his friend. He glanced at Bran disturbed that what the young man overheard between Ellara and Iban all but confirmed his and Marx’s theory on how Flic was killed. A part of him wanted to find Iban and force the man to tell everything he knew no matter how insignificant, and no matter the cost to the Blood Mages family.

“Julius only informed me about the late Captain's journal two days ago. Marx telling him that same morning.” Greywright said, thinking that they needed to come up with a better way to communicate. But even communication crystals could be tapped into. And according to what Yami had seen the morning of the Summer Solstice, the Agents of Chaos had hundreds of members. Without knowing what type of magic those members had...

“A quarter of the journal is blank.” Marx said.

“I’m guessing it’s more than just empty pages of an unfinished journal from a life cut short.” Teris said, not seeing any other reason Marx would point out such a thing.

Marx nodded. “While the blank pages are at the end and likely would have been thought of as empty, there are two sentences and a signature three pages later.”

“Three blank pages and then more writing?” Teris looked between Marx and Julius figuring that even with everything going on they would've tried something to reveal what, if anything was written.

“You were able to sense what no one else did in the geyser labyrinth. As if the remains of Captain Shadow had been calling to you.” Julius said, disturbed and intrigued.

Teris darkened at the memory. “She used me.”

Julius’ eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Used you?”

Teris picked at the threads of the frayed journal. “She used me to get to Yami. She called herself the Harbinger of Darkness. Said she called to me to fulfill her destiny. A destiny that was clearly to bring out the Darkness in Yami.”

Julius sighed. “I can see how you might think that, but--”

“There’s no other way to think of it. It’s what she did!” Teris stormed.

Yami grabbed Teris’ hand and got to his feet, pulling her up with him. “Excuse us a moment.”

Jax and Julius blinked as Yami opened the office door, stepped out with Teris, and closed it behind.

“Well,” Greywright sighed, sitting back, “anyone want to relay to Bran the importance of keeping quiet about all this while we wait?”

Jax, Julius, and Marx turned to Bran.

Not knowing what to do, Bran smiled and waved. Knowing that was the wrong thing to do but unable to stop, his other hand grabbed his waving hand and pulled it down.

An embarrassed blush tinted Bran’s cheeks. “Sorry. I’m just really nervous.”

99.1.3

Yami turned to Teris as soon as the door closed. “You’re not some transformation mage pretending to be Teris, are you?”

“What?” Teris’ eyes furrowed. “Yami, this is serious.”

“I know. So why are you afraid to look at that thing? It’s not like you.”

Teris bristled. “You heard why. She--”

“Whatever happened, happened cause I needed to get to you.” Yami said, cutting her off. He looked at her remembering the fear and anger he felt when she disappeared behind the rock wall. He shook the memory away, telling himself as well as her. “We’re not in some labyrinth where you can be locked away from me.”

“No we’re not.” Teris agreed. “We’re standing here after having just heard that the force inside you is growing so fast and strong that it might consume you. That even the crazies who want to see that force grow are concerned.”

“Weren’t you listening? I said I was handling it.”

“Yami. I’m worried. I love you.”

Yami’s fingers clasped behind Teris’ neck, palms cupping her face in both hands. His forehead pressed against hers, steel grey eyes staring into her dark bottomless ones. “I love you too, Ikigai.” His nose bumped hers, breath fanning her face. “It’s why you have no reason to worry. I’d never lose to anything, least of all some force inside me, so long as I have you.”

Head shaking in his hands, Teris opened her mouth. Yami silenced her with a kiss. It was meant to be a brief, reassuring kiss; but as soon as his lips touched hers his desire for her ignited like a broken jar of Wild Fire.

One hand dropped from her face, arm wrapping tightly around her waist. Yami pulled her close, leaning over her. The words Bran overheard Iban tell Ellara replayed in his mind. “The Darkness is already bleeding out and effecting him. He has been more volatile. Angrier than usually. Possibly even more desirous of Teris and the Light that is inside her.” That last sentence echoed as he kissed her. “Possibly even more desirous of Teris and the Light that is inside her.”

Yami didn’t think anything could make him more desirous of Teris. He certainly didn’t like the idea of anything effecting him that way. But as the kiss grew ever more heated, he thought he understood what Iban meant. It had nothing to do with desire. At least not his usual loving desire. This desire was darker. Consuming and unquenchable. It wasn’t for Teris herself, but for what Teris was. What Teris could be. A light and warmth that could fill a dark cold, bottomless hunger.

Yami pulled away leaving them both breathless. “Read the damn pages. I know you want to.”

Teris stared up at him.

Yami quirked a brow. “Aren’t you the least bit curious?”

“Yeah. But… The last time I gave into my curiosity where Captain Shadow was concerned bad things happened.”

Yami’s lips brushed hers as he spoke. “You have no clue what you mean to me If you think some long dead woman could take me away from you.”

99.2

“A letter from Lady Ellara.” Calen said, entering his Master’s office.

Alowishus frowned. He wasn’t expecting anything from her. Given the suspicions of Captain's Julius and Jax, coupled with the traitor Flic surrendering himself to the Magic Knights, Alowishus hadn’t imagined he would hear from Ellara for more than six months. Something had to have happened.

Alowishus opened the missive. It was a brief message, straight to the point. Typical of her communications. But what wasn’t was that it didn’t bear her usual endearment at the end. Curious.

Setting down the letter, Alowishus told Calen almost proudly. “The Darkness in Yami is growing.”

“Already? Isn’t it far too soon?” Calen asked.

Alowishus thought back to his latest dealing with Yami and Teris, three days ago. He supposed his eagerness and following anger over the Future of Chaos had something to do with his having missed the signs. Still, that was hardly an excuse. He was better than that. He had spent too much time and had too much riding on his plans to become sloppy and not notice every little thing.

“How do we tamp the force down?” Calen asked.

“Tamp it down! We will do no such thing.” Alowishus said.

“But--”

“Yami is not the real concern here, his fix is an easy one. What we need to worry about is Teris. At this rate she will not survive the Ritual of Darkness. If she doesn’t grow stronger, the Darkness within Yami will kill her and the Light inside her with it.”

“What are we going to do?” Calen asked, worried for their hopes for the new existence.

“We will deal with Yami. Contact King Morris. I think it’s time I made good on my promise to let the Diamond Kingdom have Teris.”

99.3

Back in Jax’s office, Teris took up Captain Shadow’s journal. She hesitated, eyes lifting to Yami.

Yami gave her an encouraging nod.

Taking in a fortifying breath, Teris opened the journal to the marked page. Her eyebrows furrowed, wondering if the page marker had been put in the wrong place. The pages weren’t blank. Sure, that’s what Julius and Marx had been hoping for. That as a light magic user like Shadow, she would be able to read the blank pages. But surely it couldn’t be this easy. Could it?

Teris began to read aloud, half expecting them to stop her and say that wasn’t the spot. Only they never did.

“I was a fool. I fell in love with him. Everard Spade.”

Jax straightened in his seat.

Yami saw the looks the Knights Commander, two Captain's, and Marx shared. Was this about whatever secret Jax was keeping that the Captain had been going to tell him about before Greywright called in about Flic dying?

“But how could I not?” Teris continued reading. “He was handsome and kind. Powerful and strong. More powerful than I could have ever imagined. But we will get to that. There was always something about him. A melancholy. Even when he smiled, it never fully reached his eyes. He told of his mother's death. And I thought that was why. Who wouldn’t be forever marked by sadness when your own father said you caused your mothers death? It broke my heart for him. Opened me up to him. Which I learned too late is what he had wanted. He didn’t need to lie to gain my care and sympathy. His truth is that sad and broken. He truly is a wounded, tormented soul. But the way he used that truth. Sprinkled in just enough without telling the whole horrid tale…

I thought I was going to spend my life with him. Little did I know. It was my life he wanted. The betrayal happened on the Summer Solstice. He came to my base before dawn. I thought it romantic. Thought he couldn’t wait for our picnic that afternoon to see me. He was ravenous. Insatiable. The two of us making love as the sun rose on the longest day of the year. Little did I know he was feeding on more than my lips. He left me in bed weak. Nearly dead and drained of mana. My Vice Captain found me. I was unconscious for days. Stuck in Healer’s Hall for two weeks. Confused. Heartbroken. He had used me. It was months later that I realized just much he had used me. Had any of it been real? I don’t know. He never said. Doubt I would have believed him if he had.

He was the Master of a group that called themselves the Agents of Chaos. The group apparently went back several hundred years. Several say they were started by Yurist’s son. Others that Yurist himself began the group. All I know is that they were a group of zealots obsessed with ending it all to bring about some knew reality. And that they were being led by the man I once loved and thought had loved me in return.

Everard Spade stole my heart to steal most of my mana. Did he know I would survive? Did he even care? Was our accidental meeting even an accident? Over the course our continued battles I would learn that Everard left nothing to chance. Our meeting had been no accident. Our love affair fully planned. The man was patient. Obsessed. While he might not have known I would survive having nearly all my mana taken the morning of that Summer Solstice, he had to have had a good idea that I would. For his plans for me were far from over.

I don’t know how, but he began to enter my dreams. Showing and telling me such haunting things that I wish I could have forgotten upon waking. One of the things he continually told me about were the primordial forces and the rise of Chaos. That there would one day be a light magic user who was inhabited by a portion of Light; and a dark magic user inhabited by a portion of Darkness. That together their magic could end not just the world but existence itself. As time passed I came to dream of this Light and Darkness; but never when Everard visited me in my dreams which always happened on the night of the New Moon and the two nights before it.

It was during those dreams of Light and Darkness that I came to realize my destiny. I am the Harbinger of Darkness. I will call the Light and see the Darkness show itself, announcing the rise and growth of Darkness. I don’t understand it or know why; but I am certain my fate as the Harbinger will be locked in place this day. Which is why I am writing to you, my fellow light magic user. Because those dreams have also told that I am the Light Bringer. I am the light magic user that comes before you, the one who is inhabited by a portion of Light. It is to you that I write this warning.

Everard Spade is ancient and strong. Older than any person has a right to be. It is little wonder that he has gone mad. Seeking out knowledge and making plans that will let him finally, truly, have the peace and rest he so desperately desires. But how does one kill Death? Mana knows I have tried. Tried to give him the death he wants and justly deserves. In the years following that Summer Solstice he has haunted and tormented my every step. And I have tried and failed to rid the world of him and give him the eternal sleep he wants. I thought I had finally succeeded. That you and this dark magic user would be spared of his plans. The world safe from his aims. But I fear I was wrong. Though small and faint, I feel his presence once more. I fear I only succeeded in killing the body. A body I know no soul could still reside in. I saw that body burn to ash. I incinerated it with my magic. But somehow the life force that had been within that body is growing and among us once more. Whether because of a curse. A spell gone wrong. Or a cruel twist of fate. The man that calls himself Death lives on.”

Comments are VERY MUCH appreciated and really make my day. Thank you to those who have left hearts. And a special THANK YOU to those who have recently commented or re-blogged. It really means a lot.

Next chapter snippet:

Julius’ eyebrows pulled together. He didn’t like Jax thinking he was right. He didn’t want to be right. It had been a crazy theory at the time. It was still a crazy thought. Just because what they had learned last night further pointed to such a possibility didn’t make the idea any less insane. But given everything else; talk of Chaos and primordial forces, and crazy zealots who wanted to end everything to start a new beginning. Was the notion that they were dealing with someone that old really that insane?

#yami sukehiro #julius novachrono #marx francois #Black Clover #light in the darkness

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fizzingwizard · 4 years ago

Text

Alright and now for episode 23! Which was a lot more interesting. Still lacking in pertinent ways but at least it got some stuff moving, and there were a few small but very nice character moments.

I took a LOT of Taichi spam this week you guys. The animation was slightly better than normal and my boy was just so good.

At parkour. He’s good at parkour.

More below!

We pick up where we left off last week, with Devimon arriving in his true form and picking a fight over Poyomon. He’s so threatened by a wad of jelly.

He does seem a bit weird though. More on that later.

The quintessential Taichi picture.

And just a cute one.

So okay, Devimon makes mincemeat of MetalGreymon and WereGarurumon. Like he wipes the floor with them. Even though they should be a level above him. I was like what’s going on. Clearly dark powers are giving him extra strength, but this still seemed like too much...

Yamato yells for Takeru to go hide. Taichi then yells for Yamato to go hide xD However Devimon has no trouble destroying all their possible hiding spots and attacking them.

Takeru worries about his brother :’<

Taichi quickly tries to think of a strategy but yup “Hide” is all he can come up with.

They communicate via digivice and Yamato has something of a better strategy but... it still just amounts to hiding.

Meanwhile their partners continue to get their butts kicked.

MetalGreymon: Hey watch it I just got this painted!

WereGaurumon: My nails! I just had them done!

Taichi: Would you two stop fussing, you’re so vain!

Taichi: We’ve got more important things to worry about! Like my hair!

Meanwhile in the real world... the four are together and Koushirou updates Jou and Mimi on the situation, which boils down to Not Good. The tank ships are still on a collision course. On top of that, Koushirou notices that the data being absorbed by Calmaramon’s... idk what to call it, data collection tower? thing, is being sent directly to the digital world. He guesses it’s going to be used to power the creature whose name I forgot they fought before.

This guy.

Koushirou also guesses this probably means Taichi and Yamato are in some deep shit rn.

Taichi is pretty smart too... he’s able to tell that Devimon is able to manipulate the dark mists and that’s how he’s able to find their hiding spots and attack them so easily.

Here’s the evil crystal that I would have thought was from Sailor Moon. Ahhh evil is so beautiful. And purple. Hmmm, the Crest of Knowledge is also purple, and absorption of data is converted to power.... GUYS KOUSHIROU’S GOING TO GO DARK.

Kidding, kidding. I would totally watch it though.

So the others go to fight Calmaramon and destroy the tower to help Taichi and Yamato. But, uh, they didn’t count on Calamaramon’s tentaclesx ;D

Kabuterimon makes the classic amateur mistake of DRAMATICALLY ANNOUNCING HIMSELF when he swerves in to rescue the girls...

... and he gets his just desserts. :P

Meanwhile Taichi and Yamato... are still losing. So who steps up to the plate but...

Takeru and Poyomon! Lol!

No seriously, this scene SCREAMED of the one in 99 where Hikari sacrifices herself to protect Yamato and Sora. I was really expecting Takeru to do the same thing here. “Leave my brother alone! Take me instead!”

But, I guess, since he’s a boy, he’s less self-sacrificial and more just... irrationally strong...

His conviction results in evolution!

Poyomon becomes Tokomon! THANK GOODNESS. I could not handle another “poyo, poyo!”

Devimon takes one look at this pink-cheeked thing and FREEEEEEAKS OUUUUUT.

“You remind me... of someone I once knew... you have... the same eyes... GRRRRRRRRR!!!!”

he didn’t say that but he totally should have lol. Now someone please make an edit of Angemon where he takes off his helmet and he has Tokomon eyes underneath x’D

Data readings on Koushirou’s computer start going haywire! The data is being sent somewhere fast!

I was expecting some kind of power up but I wasn’t expecting full on evolution. Because yup. That’s what goes down. Devimon evolves.

And here’s where he gets weird. His evolution seems painful. Unnatural. He doesn’t seem exactly pleased with it, to be frank. He’s really agitated by Tokomon but he doesn’t do much in the way of monologuing and it’s not even clear that the evolution is by his own design. It just kind of seems to happen. Then, once he does evolve, he’s much less talkative. This is generally not the sign of sanity or even sentience. It’s like Devimon is imprisoned by his evolution, which goes on a rampage.

Neodevimon. Actually, original Devimon is scarier but :P

Lol and then Tokomon gets blown out of Takeru’s arms and goes for a tumble while Takeru runs frantically after him xD Great moment.

Rollin rollin rollin, though the streams are swollen...

NeoDevimon is very powerful but y’know... WereGarurumon just STOOD there. This... this is totally his fault that he gets hurt here x’D

Taichi is displeased with this development, and yet, still cute in his displeasure.

Finally Koushirou manages to get through! Taichi is too preoccupied to jump for joy or anything but you can see that he’s excited. “Koushirouuuuu please save us!!!” basically that’s what’s going on

However he’s right away blown over and his digivice scatters and the signal drops...

Yamato is very Stressed.

However, contact with Koushirou has rejuvenated Taichi.

LIKE THE PHOENIX HE RISES FROM THE ASHES

Taichi: “FUCK THIS SHIIIIIIIIIT!”

His renewed conviction becomes power. Yeah, that’s a thing, we know.

Meanwhile, in the human world, the others have worked out that Taichi and Yamato are fighting and need help, and they combine the powers of their own passionate hearts in a classic shonen anime trope.

Koushirou gets a special moment all to himself! It’s really fast but still, the episode makes a point of focusing on Koushirou’s desire to connect with his friends and help them. I choose to believe this a nod to Koushirou’s significant role in the show and a way of saying “Sorry they’re not all together right now but they will be soon and characters other than Taichi and Yamato will get to do cool things in the not so distant future!”

Their partners are then able to defeat Calmaramon and destroy the data collection tower.

BOOM, baby.

Meanwhile our heroes who never sleep manage to defeat Devimon. Which, I figured, meant he’d retreat for now, but...

He freaking dies! Yup, that’s right! Disintegrates!! I was like what the heck?? This was a Boss Battle???? It had none of the signs of being a boss battle other than the boss being present and it wasn’t even that hard...

However, it’s not over till it’s over...

... Tokomon looks on NeoDevimon’s death kind of creepily. Like, the episode makes a point of showing us Tokomon’s reaction, not just the group’s. So... I feel like this is gonna be relevant. I COULD BE WRONG. But I just personally wouldn’t stick this bit in without it meaning something. But that something could be pretty much anything so we still don’t know much.

The sailors aboard the tankers whose control systems are restored at the last second are pretty darn relieved anyway.

This was my favorite moment in epiosde, Mimi flinging herself over Koushirou and knocking Jou out of the way to hug Sora in her enthusiasm over their victory xD awww Mimi

Yamato wants to know what’s with Taichi. Taichi’s like, “The others helped us from afar, I just know it...” AND THAT’S WHY HE’S BEST BOY.

Yamato gives Takeru an adorable pat on the head and tells him good job. Only thing that could have made this moment cuter would have been if he also patted Tokomon’s head. BECAUSE HELLO. KID JUST EVOLVED. SAY HI AND TELL HIM YOUR NAMES AT LEAST.

But then! Darknightmon uses the dark crystal thingy and...!

Le gasp! NeoDevimon’s corpse emerges from the ground...

Taichi has a flashback to another time they thought they won only for their defeated opponent to be infused with dark energy and resurrect...

... uh I forgot this guy’s name too >_>

Taichi: “Wow I never saw this coming!”

Well, I did. :P Due to being over ten years old...

We end with NeoDevimon’s mask cracking off!

Creepy!

Final thoughts... it now kind of looks like Darknightmon is the one pulling Devimon’s strings rather than the other way around. But my guess is that’s not the case. It could also be that Devimon told Darknightmon to do this - after all, Devimon used the stone’s power to evolve Darknightmon before, and this is just the reverse of that. Or it could be they are equals and in cahoots with each other. I definitely think there’s an even greater, bigger Bad out there that they either work for or are afraid of etc something like that, I think we probably all feel sure of that at least. But Devimon in this episode really surprised me in the ways he seems to lack agency. He seemed like a pawn of evil rather than the chessmaster himself.

So next week! Looks lit!

Devimon’s new evolution? or power up? whatever is creepier than NeoDevimon so that’s a relief.

BUT THIS IS EVEN CREEPIER HOLY CRAP TAICHI! Get some sleep, your eyes are all red! (And he’s injured. His hand is where he got hurt two weeks ago fighting Splashmon right? He got hit with miasma. I wonder if this is the same wound and if it’s somehow controlling him due to the dark energy getting into his system... But everyone’s more or less been hit with the dark energy at this point so maybe not. Anyway, CREEPY EYES, CREEPY CREEPY EYES.)

Also Yamato DIES. He DIES y’all. *funeral march plays* Hmm, Tokomon looks hungry...

Then we got this bit which in case you can’t tell is Takeru being awesome. So I figured, ahh, THIS is the boss battle, and we’re gonna see Angemon again already... weird as that sounds :P

HOW-E-VER

We also get this???? Taichi silhouetted against a brilliant light????? What does it mean? I mean we know Takeru has healing powers so I’m fully expecting that to happen but uhh are we also going to canonize Taichi next week? lol. Saint Taichi. I love him the best but I will be a bit miffed if next week IS the big boss battle and Takeru’s role is “power up Taichi so he can kill it” and that’s it... But I guess we’ll have to see.

It does rather look like they saved the animation budget for next week, the preview was nuts x’D Can’t wait.

#digimon adventure:#digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure reboot #fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon

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devinetheory-2 · 4 years ago

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I found this unnervingly accurate and fascinating.

Things Narcissists Do When They Think No One Is Looking ..

1 – Go through your personal things

2 – Create numerous dating profiles

3 – Try to get in touch with their exes on social media

4 – Visit websites of very dubious merit. KIK Skype etc.

5 – Try to turn your family and friends against you

6 – Plant spyware on your devices or install hidden cameras etc.

7 – Sabotage your finances

8 – Spy on you

9 – Flirt with your best friend (or even your adult children)

10 – Plan secret rendezvous with their side-supply

11 – Hoover old sources of supply (a.k.a., their exes)

12 – Pave the way for their next relationship

If you’ve been in a relationship with someone you suspect is a narcissist, there has likely come a time when you developed a burning desire to know the things narcissists do when they’re by themselves.

If we’re to be sophisticated about it, we must consider that like other citizens of society, they engage in activities that are conducive to maintaining a certain level of livelihood. Things like going to work, having their cars serviced, and going to doctor’s appointments.

But apart from those harmless undertakings, things turn rather bleak.

Narcissists rarely ever admit to it, but all your worst fears regarding your relationship are playing out just underneath the radar of your awareness.

You know that ever-present, vague sense of dread you have in the pit of your stomach, wondering if they’re lying or telling the truth? That’s your intuition, which can cause physical sensations in the body.

Our “gut feelings” are called that for a reason — research suggests that emotion and intuition are very much rooted in the “second brain” in the gut. In fact, Michael Gershon, professor and chair of pathology and cell biology at Columbia, says, “The gut can work independently of any control by the brain in your head—it’s functioning as a second brain. It’s another independent center of integrative neural activity”.

But don’t take my word for it. You can read all about it on Psychology Today in an article titled, Your Backup Brain.

My job here is to give you a breakdown of what the narcissist in your life – employing very specific techniques of psychological depravity – does when they think no one is looking. Hidden secrets that would literally bring you to your knees…

Here, I map out thirteen of the most common things narcissists do when they think no one is looking. The possibilities on this topic are endless, but the following is a sampling of the ones I’m most familiar with, some of which I personally experienced.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Things Narcissists Do When They Think No One Is Looking ..

1 – Go through your personal things

Narcissists are constantly doing things that they will eventually be confronted with. Therefore, they spend inordinate amounts of time trying to dig up the most minuscule piece of incriminating evidence against you so that they will have ammunition when they are finally caught.

Many times, what they find “incriminating” is just a figment of their imagination or something entirely fabricated. For example, I used to work in the banking industry for years before I left to become a teacher and, later, to create this space for narcissistic abuse recovery.

As a bank employee, I wore suits which required me to wear pantyhose. One day, I accidentally tore a hole in a pair of them and discarded them in the trash. My ex, during his regular “dirt diving” practice, found them and confronted me with them, accusing me of having been unfaithful.

Of course, he was entirely wrong, but you can probably imagine how it turned out.

Long story short, narcissists engage in sneaky, underhanded behaviors every day. In many cases, they think other people are like them, but just better at hiding it. In others, they simply want to have something to throw in your face when you discover they’re still doing ‘that thing’ they promised you they would stop doing.

A general exception to this shady practice is the cerebral narcissist, who uses their intelligence to lord over others. They think most people are simpletons who don’t have anything interesting going on in their lives, except, of course, other academics and scholars whom the cerebral narcissist is insanely jealous of.

2 – Create numerous dating profiles

Not all narcissists cheat, but most of them do. The ones who don’t tend to be of the “cerebral” ilk and simply do not enjoy having intimate relations with other people.

But if the narcissist you know is attractive, extroverted, and likes being the center of attention, it is very likely they are doing things you would be horrified to learn about.

To the narcissist, seducing people is another tool for manipulation, control, exploitation, and destroying the self-esteem of their partner(s). In most cases, there’s serial cheating, withholding affection, degrading requests, verbal assaults, and addiction to off-color websites.

Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, they’re so skilled in the bedroom that their partners often stay in the abusive relationship because they’ve never had it so good, which creates a twisted dynamic leading to self-loathing, guilt, and shame.

At any rate, narcissists have a track record of being serial cheaters. This explains why they generally have their cell phones on lockdown, leave the room when certain calls come in, and are oddly obsessed with a text exchange as you’re sitting down to dinner during your anniversary.

If you’ve caught them doing this, don’t be fooled by their seeming attempt to earn back your trust. It doesn’t matter if they let you go through their phone if they’ve secured a secret line behind your back.

If it feels weird, you’re probably onto something. Don’t ignore your gut on this one.

3 – Try to get in touch with their exes on social media

Imagine this scenario. You’re sitting at your work desk and decide to call your partner (whom you suspect is a narcissist) to check in and get a feel for how things are going. They seem fairly friendly and the two of you make plans for dinner and a movie that night. You hang up feeling relieved and begin to think your recent arguments were probably just normal relationship issues. You feel slightly elated thinking about how the evening will unfold.

The narcissist, however, hangs up and goes back to liking their ex’s Facebook and Instagram photos. The two of you have been arguing a lot lately (due to their relationship crimes), so they have to line up another source or two of narcissistic supply to have as a backup for when you finally come to your senses and give them the much-needed boot.

Moral of the story? Never trust that the narcissist will be a decent person. Ever.

4 – Visit websites of very dubious merit.

Webcam sites, porn, KiK, Snapchat, Tubmblr etc.

Since the media powers-that-be are now filtering and blocking certain terms and phrases, I am unable to express the exact terminology I’d like to use here, but, suffice it to say that many narcissists, when alone, spend hours on various websites of very dubious merit.

Sites that would break your heart and devastate you for weeks on end if you’re in a romantic relationship with them.

If you have discovered your narcissistic partner has been visiting such sites, you can bet with 99% certainty that he or she also has online dating profiles and is probably hooking up with other people behind your back. At the very least, they are likely engaging in things via the internet with people they’ve met online that would make you feel unwell.

5 – Try to turn your family and friends against you

Contrary to popular belief, the narcissist’s smear campaign doesn’t begin just after your breakup. In many cases, it’s been alive and well for some time. You just weren’t aware of it.

The reason everyone now runs in the opposite direction from you or, at the very least, looks at you with a raised eyebrow, is that the narcissist has been smearing your reputation since before the relationship even ended. The two main reasons for this are:

All relationships are doomed in the narcissist’s mind and they want to get a running start on assassinating your character.

They assume you will vent to people in your shared social circle and want to ensure they cut you off at the pass so you will look unstable when you muster the courage to start talking about your experiences.

These actions are to preserve the false image they’ve portrayed all along. Unfortunately, they’re often very successful at doing this. If your friends or family have suddenly started pulling back or questioning your judgement, the narcissist has likely planted the seeds of doubt in their minds. If they openly side with the narcissist when you begin sharing your relationship struggles, it’s time to start whittling down your inner circle.

6 – Plant spyware on your devices or install hidden cameras in your shared residence

This can happen a few different ways.

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, don’t assume they aren’t smart enough to track you using your devices. I’ve seen this assumption come crashing down around people’s ankles more times than I’d like to admit.

One common method that abusers use to legally track you is by using the geolocation services built into all smartphones; if you know, or can guess, the password to someone’s cloud account, you can follow their movements via the software designed to find lost or stolen phones that comes installed on many devices. Many times, the abuser sets up a cloud account for the person they want to track, giving them full access to their target’s location at any moment.

If you suspect you’re dealing with a narcissist, don’t accept a phone from them that they’ve set up for you using their cellular account. If you do, you can assume they’ve set it up to track you.

Another way abusers can keep tabs on you is by installing spyware on your electronic devices. Some of these spyware can be installed remotely. It’s somewhat more difficult to install spyware this way than it used to be, but it still happens.

Most spyware is designed to track not only your location but also monitor your calls, voicemails, texts, and emails – and even watch you using the camera on your device.

7 – Sabotage your finances

I’ve lost count of the number of people I’ve worked with in my coaching practice who’ve been financially devastated because they gave in to the narcissist’s seemingly genuine requests to give them access to their accounts.make you feel unwell.

They may have loaned you money or paid for a big-ticket item at some point to make you believe they are generous, but it was only to instill in you a sense of obligation in preparation for the debilitating shaft you’d get from them later.

Another scheme that falls into this category is their asking for your support while they are unemployed. These schemes are all designed to “break the seal” in the area of financial matters so they can take shocking liberties later, such as:

Getting loans in your name

Taking out a second mortgage on your home without your knowledge

Not paying IRS taxes, resulting in your possible confinement in jail

Expecting you to pay for everything while they save their own money for themselves

Forcing you to get all the utilities and insurances in your name so you’ll have to pay for them all

…and so on and so forth.

If you’ve been having problems in your relationship and believe your partner is a narcissist, it would be in your best interest to avoid mingling your finances in any way. If you already have, start a secret account and begin adding money to it whenever you can. Have your statements delivered to a family member’s address.

Prevent narcissistic financial abuse early by stashing away money when you can and refusing to put your name on any legal documents with them.

8 – Spy on you

We already covered spyware and tracking apps that narcissistic abusers can use to keep tabs on your whereabouts in #6.

However, many narcissists will literally stalk you so they can see what you do when they’re not with you.

While legal definitions of stalking vary from one jurisdiction to another, a good working definition of stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual toward another person through the carrying out of behaviors intended to frighten, distress the victim, and/or instill a sense of guilt and hopelessness in the victim (which often leads to learned helplessness). Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and usually include following the victim (in person) and monitoring them.

According to Lamber Royakkers, author of The Dutch Approach to Stalking Laws (California Criminal Law Review 3, October 2000):

“Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwantedly, and disruptively breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have a current relationship or a recent one. Moreover, the separated acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse, but do taken together (cumulative effect).”

Disruptions in daily life that are necessary to escape a stalker can include changes in employment, residence, and phone numbers. Many targets of stalking have had to move to another country and basically go into hiding.

Many of my coaching clients have been stalked by their narcissistic partners. Stalking behaviors carried out by narcissists can include:

Constant texts, emails, and phone calls

Frequent, unwanted deliveries of gifts, cards, and flowers

Constantly driving by your home

Showing up at your place of employment or favorite hangout

Spreading rumors or publishing personal information about you on social media

Cyberstalking

Using social media to follow and friend your social media followers and friends in order to keep an eye on you

Installing spyware on your computer or cell phone

Finding out about you by using public records or online search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers

Using technology, like hidden cameras or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go

Threatening to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets

Stalking is often mistaken as hoovering in that once a source of supply expresses a desire to end the relationship, the narcissist refuses to give up their power by forcing themselves into the victim’s world through harassing, following, and monitoring.

Stalking is a common behavior of narcissists when a source of supply tries to initiate No Contact. When stalking begins, the victim typically has a clearer picture of what kind of person the narcissist is…which is why they want to go No Contact in the first place.

If you believe you are being stalked, you should avoid downplaying the issue as it will only get worse over time. You may have to take protective measures to secure your sense of peace, privacy, and security.

9 – Flirt with your best friend (or even your adult children)

When it comes to narcissistic cheaters, no one is off-limits. In fact, narcissists often derive a twisted sense of accomplishment if they can get your loved one interested in them, like your best friend or adult child.

So, imagine you’re at work and it’s the narcissist’s day off. You think everything is relatively calm and feel a spark of emotional safety. Then, you get a call from your best friend and they give you the very unsettling news that the narcissist has made a pass at them.

If you’re best friend is truly loyal, they will tell you about this the moment it happens.

But in some cases, the flirting continues while remaining a secret. Maybe your friend has experienced a string of failed relationships. Or they’ve recently gone through a difficult divorce. Vulnerability makes a person a prime target in the narcissist’s mind and this may well include your best friend.

My best advice? Never trust the narcissist alone with your friends or family members.

10 – Plan secret rendezvous with their side-supply

Speaking in very general terms, when a narcissist has an out-of-town trip planned, whether for work or for their third cousin’s wedding, there is a strong likelihood that they will meet their side supply there or even take him or her with them.

Narcissists are creatures of economy and rarely pass up an opportunity to groom supply. In fact, the narcissist could well be dubbed The Constant Gardner because they are perpetually trolling for and grooming new targets, even though they always have a main source of narcissistic supply. Furthermore, they are continuously ending relationships for various reasons, especially with those who require a lot of “maintenance” (i.e. normal human interactions) or have stopped giving them money or other fringe benefits. Therefore, they must fill in the gaps left by those they’ve discarded by securing new supply sources.

Those work trips the narcissist always goes on? They could very well be genuine, but don’t be surprised when the new supply calls you, asking who you are and what you’re doing calling the narcissist!

11 – Hoover old sources of supply (a.k.a., their exes)

Narcissists typically don’t let go of their exes completely (unless their exes completely let go of them). They’ve been known to contact old flames out of the blue, sometimes as long as ten years post-breakup!

Not all narcissists do this, but most do. When a person has passed the litmus test for being “good supply”, narcissists literally can’t help themselves and will often reach out in an attempt to resurrect old relationships (albeit, one-sided ones).

This explains why you may have noticed how the narcissist in your life likes to remain “friends” with their exes or wants you to be friends after your relationship has ended.

It gives them an ‘in’ if they ever need to cycle back around.

12 – Pave the way for their next relationship

You’ve probably read a hundred times how narcissists leave relationships and then swan dive right into a new one.

Maybe this happened in the aftermath of your own relationship with a narcissist.

The main reason this happens is because narcissists don’t bond with people. Not romantically, not traumatically (at least, not for them), nor matrimonially. We from these bonds with narcissists, but they are not able to form emotional bonds with us due to their true lack of empathy and inability to attach to others.

Another reason narcissists are able to form relationships so quickly is that, any many cases, the relationship isn’t so new. If you’ll remember from earlier, narcissists are always combing for fresh sources of narcissistic supply. Because of this, most narcissists are perpetually in various stages of relationship with other people, from the shiny, newbie supply to those who are enduring varying levels of the narcissistic abuse cycle.

Therefore, when they showcase the new supply on their social media accounts, it’s usually not someone they’ve just met, though narcissists are often very skilled in making it appear so.

13 – Emotional abuse of partners and spouses

If you’ve ended a romantic relationship with a narcissist, you probably saw them out and about, loving up on the new partner and seemingly having the best time of their life. You see them flashing an engagement ring on social media and sending out ‘save the date’ notifications, broadcasting how silly in love they are and giggling about how they feel like a couple of teenagers.

Your first reaction might be to (stunningly) wonder what this new person has that you don’t. Just maybe, the narcissist had been right about you all along. Perhaps you really ARE the reason your relationship with them didn’t work out.

Then, you feel completely disabled by the seeming about-face the narcissist has made with the new supply, sending you into a depression so deep you can barely get through the day.

This is just another phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle and applies to you the same as it does everyone else. The narcissist you know is no different from the others. As personal and unique as it all may feel, it’s just another blueprint narcissistic manipulation.

When you see this happening, it’s crucial not to take it personally. This is one of the narcissist’s favorite times, when they are love-bombing new supply while simultaneously making you feel like discarded trash. The narcissist can’t help but gloat over how they’re able to make you feel emotionally destroyed, left to pick up the pieces while they’re off living their life as though your history together means nothing.

What you’re not thinking about is how the new supply will be subject to the same emotional abuse that you’ve endured. There are no exceptions to this. Don’t listen to the new trend of so-called professional advice which states that narcissists are only abusive towards YOU because your personality is incompatible with theirs, which is on my list of ‘Stupid Sh*t Therapists Say’.

Narcissists are abusive towards everyone. Regardless of status, ethnicity, intelligence, religious beliefs, or how tiny their waist is. The new supply simply won’t be spared, unfortunately.

Dealing with a narcissist

Healing From the Trauma of Narcissistic Abuse

It’s absolutely crucial to come to terms with the unsettling things narcissists do when they think no one is looking so you can make educated decisions for your future and your wellbeing.

Don’t let yourself fall into a false sense of security because the narcissist knows what to say to soften your defenses and make you doubt your judgement. Pay attention to patterns because patterns don’t lie.

With the right support, you’ll be shocked how amazing it feels when you can flourish on the other side of abuse and heal your life in ways you never

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kelyon · 4 years ago

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Golden Rings 7: A Salad

The Storybrooke Sequel to Golden Cuffs

Rumple makes dinner for Mrs. Gold

Read on AO3

Cooking was a skill Rumpelstiltskin shared with Gold. In the old world, the women who’d raised him had shown him all their tricks of brewing and baking and making the most of anything on hand. They told him that a boy needed to be able to do for himself just as much as a girl would. When he’d married Millah, he’d known more recipes than she had. They’d laughed about that--during the brief time when there had been any laughter between them. Even before she left him and Bae, the task of feeding them had often fallen on him.

Once he’d gained the powers of the Dark One, Rumpelstiltskin had been able to conjure up feasts beyond imagining. He’d delighted in pulling food out of the air, grand dishes he would never have tasted as a poor spinner. But Bae had insisted that he liked the old meals better, the food his papa had made with his hands. So he had tried not to use magic for a while. For Baelfire’s sake, he had tried.

For Gold, cooking had been a necessary art. There weren’t many restaurants in Storybrooke, and their menus quickly grew tiresome. Though he could easily afford a private chef, Gold disliked the invasion of allowing another person into his home. Why should he trust some stranger in his kitchen, handling his food? Gold took pride in the self-sufficiency inherent in creating his own menus. Cooking required patience, preparation, and a deft hand--all traits he valued in himself.

And, as with most things, it was a way to flaunt his wealth. Not everyone had the time and resources to master the art of haute cuisine. Gold could spend hundreds of dollars on a set of copper crepe pans or custom-forged knives. And he would only bother with the rarest ingredients--the freshest vegetables, the leanest cuts of meat. The style of this world was to present individual bites of food on plates large enough to hold a whole dinner. At fine restaurants, a three-bite portion could cost more than a family’s weekly grocery bill.

Disparities like that amused Gold to no end. His cruel, spiteful nature liked wasting money as much as he liked having it. He would season his food with costly saffron and white truffles--and then throw half of it away, uneaten. No one in Storybrooke knew about that, of course. But Gold knew. It gave him a twisted satisfaction to compare his own extravagant asceticism with the panicked thrift of every working-class parent who looked with grateful eyes at the 99 cent kid’s meal at Chicken Little’s.

Because of course Gold had no actual appreciation for fine foods. Bastard didn’t take joy in any of his possessions or his privileges. He just liked having things that other people couldn’t afford. Things that other people wanted, and envied him for having.

Mrs. Gold came into the kitchen through the door that led out from the patio. Relying on his cane, Rumpelstiltskin had only been able to carry the box that held his dagger and the chipped cup. But his wife held a bag of groceries in each arm.

“I’ll set these down and go get the rest!”

She flounced off, an impressive feat considering the height of her heels. Belle had had difficulty the first time she’d worn shoes like that. It had been his task to teach her how to walk, how to dance. They had come to love dancing together in the ballroom of his castle. On the day of their wedding, they had danced for hours.

But in this world he was crippled again. On the night Mr. and Mrs. Gold had wed, she had danced with every man in Storybrooke except him.

Small as she was, even hobbled by her footwear, Mrs. Gold was capable of mundane tasks that would cause him agony. Whether Gold liked it or not, his life was easier with her around.

Perhaps that was why Gold liked to make her life so difficult.

When she came back to the kitchen, Mrs. Gold busied herself with the groceries and Rumpelstiltskin began to make dinner. Without thinking about it, he pulled out a drawer for a cup into which he could measure out chicken stock and wine and something called arborio rice. Gold had already planned to make risotto, and Rumpelstiltskin had no reason to object. He let Gold’s knowledge guide him through the process. On his own, he didn’t know where ingredients were or how to operate the massive hearth--no. Gold’s kitchen had no hearth, just a stove. It was powered by something called natural gas.

A twist of a knob, and Rumpelstiltskin summoned up a circle of blue flame. On top of the flame, he placed a heavy, enamel-coated saute pan. It was so clean it looked like it had never been used. But he knew it had been. This pan was one of Gold’s favorites.

Into the pan, he drizzled a stream of oil. The bottle said it was imported from Italy. Rumpelstiltskin assumed that was a marker of quality, or at least expense. He felt Gold in the back of his mind, offering up exactly how much the best extra virgin olive oil cost per ounce, not to mention the price of shipping directly from Tuscany.

Rumpelstiltskin pushed Gold away with memories of a time when even butter was an unspeakable luxury. From the time he was a boy he had learned to pour off grease and lard and meat drippings into a clay crock so it could be used again when needed. Fat had been a precious commodity in the old world. Animals didn’t have much on their flesh and people had even less. The idea of being choosy about what the grease tasted like--or even if it had gone rancid--was ludicrous.

Behind him, Mrs. Gold had the refrigerator door open and was putting away the food she had bought earlier.

“Can you hand me the chopped leeks?” Meticulous as a machine, Gold did the preparation for his meals days ahead of time. Half the glass containers in the refrigerator were full vegetables he had minced to a paste or diced into perfect uniformity.

“Yes, Mr. Gold!”

She bent at the waist to search for the container he requested. With obvious intent, she hollowed her back and stuck out her pert, round, arse. His hands itched to touch her. He wanted to squeeze that soft flesh or deliver a sharp smack against her pretty skirt. Nothing too severe. Just enough to make his wife yelp. Just enough to let her know that he was looking.

Instead, Rumpelstiltskin looked away.

Surprisingly quiet in her heels, Mrs. Gold set some food on the counter beside him.

“I got out the butterflied chicken breasts as well, Mr. Gold. Was that correct?”

“It was.” He said what Gold would say, made the menu Gold had planned. “And you’ll serve the same sauvignon blanc I’m using to make the sauce. It should all be ready in less than twenty minutes.”

“Wonderful!” She smiled like he had given her a gift. “After I put away the groceries, may I set the table for both of us?”

He heard the question inside her question. Every night, Mrs. Gold set a place for her husband at the head of the dining room table. Where she ate depended on how he felt about her on any given day.

“Yes, dear.” Rumpelstiltskin unwrapped the chicken from the butcher paper and added it to the sizzling leeks. “I want my wife close to me tonight.”

****

While Gold had control of the actual preparation of food, part of their routine was that Mrs. Gold had to plate the food and bring it to him in the dining room. It stroked Gold’s ego to be served by a beautiful woman, to have his wife at his beck and call. He got to use his power. Pretend that he was some kind of lord of the manor.

A sad little king of a sad little hill.

Rumpelstiltskin sighed as he sank into the carved wooden chair at the head of the table. Like everything else in this house, the table was an antique masterpiece, stately and dark. A red damask table runner spanned the length of it, breaking up the shine of the polished oak. Two thin tapers burned in crystal candle holders on either side of a centerpiece of silk flowers. Even with the candles, the room was an ocean of darkness.

They were soy candles. Rumpelstiltskin hated knowing that. Soy melted at a lower temperature than beeswax, so these candles were relatively cooler, more tolerable on bare skin. By the time the meal had ended, quite a pool would have melted down. Hot wax, ready to pour over a naked body, if that was what Gold decided he wanted for dessert.

He looked to his left, to the chair where Mrs. Gold would sit. Both places at the table were set with polished silver and gold-rimmed crystal goblets. Linen napkins were wrapped neatly into engraved napkin rings. The bone china plates were currently in the kitchen. Most people in Storybrooke only saw this level of grandeur at black-tie events. Like weddings.

“Here we are!” Mrs. Gold burst into the dining room with a plate in each hand. She was still wearing her high-heeled shoes. She had been wearing them all day. Didn’t her feet hurt?

Rumpelstiltskin almost stood to help her. But the second he put weight on his ankle he winced and sank back into the chair. His cane was leaning against the table’s edge. By the time he thought to grab it and stand up properly, Mrs. Gold was already placing a plate in front of him.

“Thank you for permitting me to join you, Mr. Gold. I hope you’ll find me pleasant company.” She poured some chilled white wine into his glass. Her voice wasn’t quite as bubbly as it had been earlier. She seemed more subdued, like she was trying to be seductive.

Rumpelstiltskin took a drink.

It was only when he set his wine glass down again that he noticed that Mrs. Gold’s glass was empty. She hadn’t poured anything for herself. Though she sat in a chair, her hands were placed palms-down on the table top, on either side of her plate.

Oh yes, that was a rule. She wasn’t allowed to start eating until Gold did.

“Well, then.” Rumpelstiltskin shook out his napkin and placed it in his lap before he cut into the chicken and leeks.

In the silent dining room, he heard the half-sigh that came out of Mrs. Gold. She was relieved, wasn’t she? Grateful that her husband hadn’t changed his mind about tolerating her presence.

Swallowing his first bite, Rumpelstiltskin opened his mouth to speak. But what could he say? What could he offer this woman? How could he undo the damage of twenty-eight years of living like this?

But he had to try.

He looked up at his wife. And for the first time, he paid attention to what was on her plate. There was nothing but green leaves. No chicken in white wine sauce. No pan-fried leeks. Not a single grain of risotto.

“What are you eating?”

He heard his own voice come out in a thin, deadly whisper. He gripped his fork, too tightly to be natural.

Mrs. Gold saw that. She dropped her own fork onto her plate and looked over at him with wide eyes. “I--it’s a salad, Mr. Gold.” She lowered her gaze and sat with her hands in her lap. If he concentrated, he could see her trembling.

A salad.

Of course it was. He had seen her bring it in with the other groceries, a plastic tub of pre-washed baby spinach. Cheap and easy, just like her. It was part of their routine, one of Gold’s rules. Every night for dinner, all Mrs. Gold was allowed to take for herself was a plateful of salad greens, with no dressing. Anything else she ate, he would have to expressly permit or give her himself.

Sometimes Gold liked to make her beg for every bite until she cried.

He took a breath. He didn’t speak. He willed his pulse to slow down to a reasonable pace. He kept his voice controlled. He couldn’t frighten this poor woman any more than she already was.

“I cooked two portions of chicken,” he said carefully. “I wanted you to have some as well.”

“I-I-I’m sorry, Mr. Gold.” She kept her head bowed, her whole body tense. She expected an attack, verbal if not physical. “I thought you wanted the other piece for your lunch tomorrow.”

“I want to provide for my wife.” He tried to explain, tried to keep calm, tried to keep from crying. Buried memories crashed into his head and he had to raise his voice to hear his own thoughts. “I want you to have more than just fucking leaves!”

In one instant, a thousand memories assaulted him all at once. Year after year--first as a child, then as a young man on his own, then with his son beside him. When the hungry months came upon the land and winters wore on and on. The stores left over from harvest grew smaller and smaller. And Rumpelstiltskin never had much to store away even in good times. Year upon year, he waited as the winter ebbed, but the hunger remained. Waited as they days grew longer, but the trees stayed bare. Waited until the first hints of green began to bud and grow, signalling that spring was coming and there would be something to eat again.

He had shown Bae what his father had shown him. He had taught him the ways of the woods. They had so little land for a garden, but there was always something in the Duke’s forest. He had bundled up Bae in his shawl and his cap, to go out in search of food. And every year they had found mushrooms and ramsons and Jack-by-the-hedge--anything to flavor water enough so they could call it soup. Anything to keep them going for one more day.

Bae being who he was, he had thought it a grand adventure. He had wanted to know what else in the forest could be eaten. And Rumpelstiltskin had shown him violets and wood sorrel and taught him to boil stinging nettle. But Bae was a growing boy and all the adventure in the world couldn’t fill his gnawing belly. He began to eat anything that was green, any leaf, except for those he knew were poisonous.

One day, Rumpelstiltskin had found his son in the pasture with the sheep, his mouth stained green from eating grass and clover.

To his shame, he hadn’t stopped him. He hadn’t said a word. Because Rumpelstiltskin--spinner, cripple, coward--had nothing better to give him. Because Rumpelstiltskin--useless, penniless, worthless--could not fill the belly of the child he would give his life for. The person he loved most in the world had nothing to eat except fucking leaves!

Taking his cane, he stood up quickly. Mrs. Gold flinched at the sudden movement. Rumpelstiltskin bit back a curse that would have burned down the house around them if he had any magic at all.

She started to rise, but he hobbled over to her. Plate in one hand, cane in the other, Rumpelstiltskin slid his dinner onto Mrs. Gold’s raw spinach.

“Sit down,” he ordered through clenched teeth. “Stay here. Eat that.”

“Yes, Mr. Gold,” She answered like an automaton. What was the word in this world? A robot. A toy programmed to have the same responses no matter what the owner said or did to it. Mrs. Gold was nothing but a thing. And not even a thing Gold valued enough to care for.

“Thank you, Mr. Gold.”

He went back into the kitchen without a word. He didn’t trust himself to speak.

It took the last straining threads of his self-control to keep from throwing Gold’s fine china plate against Gold’s state-of-the-art refrigerator. He should take this wretched cane and smash in the glass-fronted cabinets, destroy everything inside. All of Gold’s crystal and porcelain and the plates so thin you could see light through them--he should shatter them into splinters and shards. Rumpelstiltskin should destroy all the things Gold held so dear. Objects that mattered to him more than the woman he had married. It would feel so good to reduce his wealth to nothing and his prized possessions into rubble.

But that wouldn’t bring Belle back.

It wouldn’t undo what had already been done.

With a single breath, all the rage escaped from Rumpelstiltskin’s body. He leaned against a wall and felt himself crumple into a heap. He had just enough presence of mind to cover his mouth with his left hand. Stifle the sobs so she wouldn’t hear.

That bastard! That monster! How dare Gold do these things to Belle! Rumpelstiltskin knew his share of evil, but he still had enough humanity to be appalled that Gold would treat her this way. His most precise cruelties were reserved not for his enemies or his debtors, but his own wife! The woman he had chosen to marry, the woman whose hand he had held as he vowed to cherish and protect and love her!

But instead Gold made her starve herself. The richest man in Storybrooke took it as a point of pride that his wife barely ate. In this palace of a house, he begrudged her every inch of space. He made her feel like an intruder in the only home she had. He degraded her and insulted her and treated her like she was less than human. Worst of all, he made her think that was how he showed affection.

“Gods.” He rasped out a prayer to powers he had never believed in, deities who didn’t exist in this world. “Gods, Belle. What did I do to you?”

Because as much as he blamed Gold, as much as he hated Gold, the truth of the matter was that this was Rumpelstiltskin’s fault. He had created the curse. He had wanted to come to this horrible world. He had planned and manipulated and twisted the path of fate to his will. He had worked so hard, for centuries, to get to where he was now. He thought he had arranged it all, so that the price of this magic wouldn’t fall on him.

But the very existence of this town was a punishment. According to the one who had cast the curse, Rumpelstiltskin was due the suffering he had lived under for twenty-eight years. Being Gold was a bleak and miserable existence. And he had taken out his anger on the one person who would never leave him.

He looked down at his hands, at his wedding ring, at the scar on his palm. He had made vows to Belle. He had promised to protect her, to belong to her, to trust her with the best and the worst of himself. Like Mrs. Gold, she had a mind-boggling capacity for loving even the most vile of men. And unlike Gold, Rumpelstiltskin could not punish a woman for loving him.

It wasn’t Belle’s fault, and it wasn’t Mrs. Gold’s. The persona of Gold didn’t exist anymore. As satisfying as it was to rage at a dead man, there was no way to take Gold to task for how he had treated his wife.

And Belle would say it wasn’t his fault either. He had come to her so many times, full of worries and guilt.

Sweetheart, how can you still love me? Knowing what I’ve done and what I’ll do?

Rumple, she had assured him. This curse is a powerful weapon, but it is not in your hands anymore. You are no more culpable for what happens than a swordsmith is responsible for a duel.

Part of him didn’t believe her. He could never look at himself with the grace and mercy of Belle’s kind heart. He had created the curse, he had wanted this weapon to be used. He had placed it in the hands of a madwoman, knowing it would destroy her, knowing it would bring misery to everyone--including himself and the woman he loved.

Still, perhaps Belle was right. And perhaps, somehow, he could find a way to redeem himself for his past. Even if he could never be good enough, perhaps he could use his evil for a good purpose.

Perhaps.

When he was ready, Rumpelstiltskin pulled himself to his feet, dusted off Gold’s fancy suit, and went back into the dining room.

Mrs. Gold was still at the table, her posture rigid but her plate empty. She looked up when he came through the door. For a moment, he saw her eyes--the perfect blue rimmed with red--and then she looked away.

“I finished everything, Mr. Gold. It was delicious.”

His heart broke anew at her voice. Belle was so strong, so sure of herself, even when she faced insurmountable obstacles. Always, she would stay brave. Always, she would do the best she could with the knowledge and tools she had. In that moment, Mrs. Gold seemed just like her.

“I’m glad you liked it.” Rumpelstiltskin stayed in the doorway, both hands braced on his cane. “From now on, when I make a meal, I expect you to eat your share.”

She nodded, still an obedient creature. “Yes, Mr. Gold.”

They were silent for a moment, then Rumpelstiltskin spoke. “I want to apologize, for earlier. I should have been more direct in my desires. And I shouldn’t have let my temper get the better of me. I’m sorry.”

Mrs. Gold blinked, several times, before she spoke. “I--W--You have nothing to apologize for, Mr. Gold. You can do whatever you like.”

“I know.” Rumpelstiltskin swallowed back the bile in his throat. “And what I would like is to have a wife who is well-nourished and who doesn’t fear her husband.”

She twisted her wedding ring around her finger. “I don’t fear you, Mr. Gold. I just hate the thought of disappointing you. I never want to be less than what you deserve.”

From the beginning, Belle had always been more than he deserved. He had stopped a war to acquire her, and he would never fully pay for all the love and goodness she had given him.

But he couldn’t tell any of that to Mrs. Gold.

“I’m going for a walk,” he announced. “I need to clear my head.”

Mrs. Gold nodded and stood up. “Where should I go, while you’re out?”

In spite of himself, Rumpelstiltskin clenched his jaw. “You are allowed to stay in this house when I’m not here.”

“I--Really?” She looked more confused than pleased. “Even when I’m not tied up or anything?”

He let out a long, heavy sigh. Yes, he remembered. Gold had regularly left the house while his wife was restrained with no way to get out. There was also a dog cage in the basement where Gold would leave her on work days when he didn’t want her in the shop. It was a miracle the bastard hadn’t killed her.

“Yes,” he answered. “In fact, it’s high time you got your own key to this place. It is your home, after all.”

Slowly as the dawn, a smile lit up her face. Gods, she was so beautiful.

“Thank you, Mr. Gold!” She stood up from the table and moved to embrace him. But Rumpelstiltskin held up one hand and she stopped in her tracks.

“You can clear the table whenever you like. I’ll wash the dishes when I return.”

That was another part of Gold’s arrangement. He didn’t allow his wife to clean, because he didn’t trust her with his precious antiques. For Rumpelstiltskin, the thought of submerging Belle’s hands in dishwater like a scullery maid was an insult. Far from the worst thing she had ever been subjected to, but the principle stood. He would gladly do drudgework if it would spare his wife the labor.

“What should I do until you get back?”

He shrugged. “Something you like,” he suggested. “Something to pamper yourself.” Something to make up for the hell you’ve lived in for twenty-eight years. “You could have some of that ice cream you bought today.”

Mrs. Gold chewed at her bottom lip as she thought. “I could… take a bubble bath, maybe?”

She was asking for his permission, his approval. He gave it to her. “That’s a very good idea,” he said gently.

He pushed away the thought of his wife’s legs sticking over the edge of a bathtub. Her head leaning back as she relaxed in the steaming water. Her lovely body hidden under piles of white bubbles until she emerged like a goddess from the sea, warm and soft and scented with roses.

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head. This wasn’t his wife in front of him. Belle was gone, and it was time to confront the person who was really responsible for that.

He had to see the Queen.

#golden rings #rumbelle fic #rumbelle #ouat

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shes-an-oddbird · 4 years ago

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Yours, Mine and Ours

Day 1 of Dousy Week! Crazy how a drabble I intended to be short and sweet turned out to be nearly 2,000 words but when I go to write my multi chapter fic I can't crank out 3 coherent sentences. Anyways please enjoy another variation on Daniel gets hurt and Daisy doesn't handle it well. Hopefully with a little twist. :)

*Story has nothing to do with the movie of the same name

Summary: After spending the day in recovery with no sign of Daisy, Daniel goes in search of her in their room, only to find that its her room now and he lives next door. Dousy Week 2020 Prompt Close Calls (and New Horizons - Kinda).

ao3

Its cold. That’s the first thing he really notices. The second is that he can barely pry his eyes open and that lifting his hands to his face to clear them isn’t going to happen. Its drugs again. What an awful feeling. But he’s not on a battlefield or on the floor of some dingy barn. There is something soft beneath him and something warm holding his wrist.

As his senses slowly return, he manages to turn towards the source of that warmth. There is blurry dark hair and dark eyes staring back at him. He blinks a few times, excited to see her face but realizes soon something’s not right.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m not the sister you were hoping to see.”

Kora is standing next to his bed, there is a chair across the room she likely jumped up from when he started to stir.

“What happened?”

“Attacked on a supply run.”

“I thought we were on a non-hostile planet.”

“We were but getting a whole planet to agree on whether the giant ship full of humans with their extremely powerful inhuman director is not a threat is never going to happen.”

“So it was rebels?”

“They hit you with some sort of toxin, its out of your system now but it sent your vitals crazy, people in charge gave us an antidote to try to smooth things over but they didn’t know how effective it would be on a human.”

“Was anyone else hurt?”

“We’re all fine.”

He relaxes back onto the bed. He’s still groggy but if the poison is out of his system than its probably just a side effect of being asleep and stationary so long.

“That’s odd they didn’t try to take out more of us, we were unarmed.”

“Daisy and I are never unarmed and when you didn’t answer your coms, well needless to say they scattered when she came to find you.” That probably didn’t help tensions, but he was thankful. The reason their team was as safe as it was traveling through space was because no one really wanted to risk crossing Daisy and Kora and that gave them time to prove they were only there to make peace. “She was here, the whole time you were out, medics couldn’t get her to wait outside, she only just left a few hours ago, asked me to be here so you wouldn’t be alone when you woke up.”

“Where is she now?”

“Her room.” Kora answers. “She put us back on track for earth, no more stops now that we’re refueled, you’ve got an appointment with Simmons when we get there by the way.”

That was a given. Simmons was the expert on alien biology, whether she was officially working for SHIELD or not. “Did she say when she was coming back?”

Kora looked uncomfortable. “She didn’t say, I’m sure soon though.”

When the day passes with no sign of her he can’t take it anymore. Its late in the evening and most of the crew is turned in for the night. He knows he shouldn’t be out of medical yet, but he thinks if he gets caught, he can just say he’s gone to get a change of clothes or a sweater from their room.

He slides open the door, relieved to see a light on. She wasn’t asleep yet.

Daisy is just sitting up when he steps inside. She’s clearly startled to see him, her eyes are wide and worried. “What are you doing here, you shouldn’t be up yet!”

She looks a mess and that’s saying something seeing as he’d spent time with her shortly after she had literally died. She obviously hasn’t slept but that wasn’t unusual. Her eyes are red, her hair looks unwashed and she dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts. She may have been trying to sleep or at least lying down because there is no work spilled across their bed like it often was.

“I wanted to – “ He wanted to see her. Her tone is full of worry though and he thinks she probably wants to hear a better excuse. “I needed a sweater, its freezing in those recovery rooms.”

“Oh.” She shifts uncomfortably. This was not at all the reaction he had expected. As the number one rule breaker on the ship he thought he'd get a earful of teasing for leaving without doctor approval or maybe at least she'd look happy to see him. “You should have just asked for an extra blanket.”

He steps over to their dresser thinking he might as well grab one for when she hauls him back down there. “I wanted to stretch my legs too and wanted to see you of course.” She stays quiet. He pulls open the top drawer of the dresser to find it empty. He opens the next one down. Also empty.

“Daisy where are all of my things.”

“They’re next door, in your room.”

This stops him.

He does in fact have a room next door, though it’s never been used. It’s really just for show; they are an official branch of SHIELD and every agent was required a bunk. Just the same, Daisy’s bunk was bigger simply because she was in charge. Not because it had been designed to accommodate two people.

He had thought the room had felt different when he walked in and a second glance around tells him his things have vanished. He’s not a messy person but his belongings that are always out, his books from the nightstand and his typewriter Daisy had given him that sat on their desk, were gone.

It hits him quickly what’s happening. He’d been warned, not once, not twice but three times that this would happen. That if he got hurt, she was going to pull away. Mack had warned him, Simmons had elaborated on why and May, thank god, had advised him on how to handle it.

She’s stubborn and the only way to get through to her is to be even more stubborn.

“So this is your solution, to put a wall between us, literally.” He asks but she doesn’t answer, just sits cross legged in the middle of their bed looking thoroughly unsure what to do or say. “Daisy, what happened wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was, they attacked you because they don’t trust me.”

“That’s not your fault, you didn’t give them any reason not to trust you.”

This he realizes doesn’t make her feel any better.

“Please go.” She lays back down. Turns her back to him and faces the wall. He needs to get closer to her and make her look at him. It's the only way to get through to her. He crosses the room to the bed and lowers himself carefully to the edge.

“Please just go.” She whispers and curls farther in on herself.

“I’m going, but you want me and all my stuff out.”

“I already moved all your things.”

He reaches out to tug on her sleeve. Though she probably wore the old t-shirt more, it was technically his. It was the first thing the team had given him to change into and ever since he had kept it to sleep in. “This is mine.”

She sits up and glares at him and maybe it’s the resemblance but May’s word ring through his head again. How was anyone supposed to be more stubborn than she was? He tugs at her sleeve again and she jerks away. Whatever anger she has built up she can’t maintain and it leaves her with a heavy sigh. She pulls the shirt off but rather than hand it over she inspects the thread bare fabric and the faded SHIELD logo. Goose bumps run up her arms and back as the chill hits her, now dressed only in her sports bra and shorts. His instinct is to reach out and warm her up, pull the t-shirt back over her and wrap her in the thick quilt at the end of the bed.

But he has to be stubborn, he reminds himself again. So instead he reaches out to take the t-shirt and it does the trick. He pulls at it but she refuses to let go, her fingers gripping it like a lifeline. He uses it to pull her to him and she comes willingly. It’s an overwhelming relief as she sinks into his arms but her sniffling and the wet tears soaking into his shirt doesn’t let him enjoy the victory long.

“It was different this time.” She mumbles.

“What do you mean?”

“It hurt so much, but you’re still here.” Not like Lincoln or Trip or even her parents. “All those times before I lost what I had, I’ve always lived in the moment, day to day, too much going on to think ahead, but now, with you, I was – I was losing a future too.”

He'll admit that takes him by surprise. “You think about our future?”

She nods. “I’ve never really done that before, not far into the future anyways.”

He supposes that’s where they differ most; maybe it’s the generational thing but he’s been thinking about their future practically since the day they met. “What do you think about?”

“I don’t know,” she starts to sit back up, embarrassed or scared to say. He lets her rearrange herself but doesn’t let her move too far away. She’s leaning into him but her face its still turned away. “Just us being older together, after our space adventures or whatever, maybe working at SHIELD to help Inhumans together, I think you’d like to work at the academy, maybe getting married, maybe a family.”

As she speaks, she gets quieter and quieter until he can only barely hear her, but he does. He holds her tighter trying to express how much he would like that to be their future without saying it out loud. He knows Daisy well enough that actions are sometimes better than words. And sometimes the necessary words were for breaking the tension. “Well I’m flattered that I’m apart of it, but I think sticking me in a different room might be a step back.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“We’ve had this conversation before, we’re both prone to running head first into danger, I thought we agreed that that was going to be a regular thing and that staying together was just our selfish reward for being so damn self-sacrificing 99% of the time.”

She laughs and sits up again, finally, really looking at him. “We did agree to that.”

“Good, so I can move my stuff back in?”

“No.” She says climbing out of the bed. “But you can march yourself back down to medical and just as soon as we’re back on earth you are getting an earful from Simmons on proper bed rest and wandering around after literally be pois – “ He cuts her off with a kiss and he feels her smiling against his lips.

“And after all that?”

“After that you can move back in.”

"Good." He kisses her again and in her distracted state he manages to steal back the t-shirt. He pulls away enough to slip it back over her head. "This can be yours until then."

#aos fic #dousy #dousyweek #daniel sousa #daisy johnson

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bi-naesala · 4 years ago

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Found you (chapter 1)

Bad Batch arc retelling (sort of) | Fives lives AU

Also on AO3

It’s still weird for Fives to be considered a war hero. Sure, he uncovered a deep conspiracy that would’ve resulted in the fall of the Republic, but going from “that di’kut Fives” to “hero of the Republic Fives” is a huge step.

What’s most weird is the amount of attention he’s getting now, and he means the positive kind of attention. That’s not even the weirdest part actually; what really bothers Fives is how tired he is of it already. It may be weird coming from Mr. Attention Whore himself, but that’s how he feels. He just doesn’t like the idea that he’s somehow more important that the rest of the vode.

Maybe that’s why he’s relieved when action calls again.

The Chancellor might’ve been found guilty of being a Sith Lord and Dooku might’ve been apprehended, but there are still some Separatist cells fighting. There aren’t many left, but this doesn’t mean that they have to act less cautious.

Here’s the weird thing: for some reason, they seem to be fighting better now. Might be desperation, but their tactics have changed; they’re more efficient, almost as if they could predict what the Republic’s next step will be. This either means that there’s a spy in their ranks or, more likely, that they have found some source of intel.

It’s Rex the one who approaches Fives first. They’ve been dancing around this theory for a while, but neither of them have had the courage to openly speak about it, at least until now. It’s far-fetched at best, but the evidence is there; besides, they’d both be lying if they said they don’t want it to be true - especially Fives.

“I think Echo’s alive.”

Here it is, what both of them have been thinking for a while. Rex’s voice is hesitant, and Fives can’t decide if it’s because he fears he won’t listen to him or - more likely - that he isn’t sure himself on how true this statement is.

“I think so too,” he quickly replies then, “You two have been working on most of these plans, and now somehow the Seppies can anticipate our moves. It can’t be a coincidence.” It would be too convenient.

It may sound unlikely, but let’s not forget who orchestrated all this. If the Supreme Chancellor himself can be guilty of being a Sith Lord, then it’s possible that what remains of the Separatists are using Echo for their strategies.

As Fives and Rex exchange a look, however, they understand what the most difficult part of this will be: making the others believe them.

The first people to be informed are General Skywalker and Cody.

Skywalker is still recovering from the discovery of the Chancellor’s true nature - they were pretty close after all, and damn now that they know the whole story, isn’t that creepy? - but he listens to their thesis with an open mind, even if it’s clear he doesn’t entirely believe it. He knows about loss and he understands why they would want to believe that, but still…

“Sometimes people just die. No matter how much you want to, you can’t bring the dead back,” he begins, thinking about all the people he has failed to protect, and it’s exactly because he understands that he continues, “But if you think that it’s worth it, we can investigate.”

Relief surges through both the clones.

“Yessir!”

Differently from Anakin, Cody goes full skeptic immediately.

“We can’t jeopardize everything just for this.”

Fives greets his teeth. How dares he speak like that about a brother? After all they’ve been fighting for he just wants to leave one of them behind?

“You can’t talk like that!” he begins, moving towards Cody with ill intent, something that Rex picks up, so he immediately grabs his arm to stop him before he does something he will regret.

“Fives, not now!”

Cody looks at them and he sighs. He understands, he truly does, but they still have to draw a line, or else this will blow up out of proportions.

“It’s not that I…” he begins defensively, but he stops himself. There’s no point in answering aggression with aggression; they’re all tired - even in its last stages the war is taking a toll on them - and doing so would help nobody. “I know it’s hard being the one who survives. It’s a burden that no regular folk can understand.” He looks at Fives. “But we can’t let this affect the wellbeing of who remains.”

At those words, Fives deflates a bit, even though it’s obvious in his eyes that he hasn’t accepted the situation yet, and honestly Cody can’t blame him. If anything happened to Rex or any of his batch mates - even Fox - he would find himself in a very similar state.

“Even if we try to do something about it, how many brothers will die for something that we’re not even sure about?”

His words are harsh, but they need to be. The sacrifice of more troopers is something they cannot afford.

Silence falls between the three, each one lost in their own thoughts.

Unexpectedly, it’s Cody the one who breaks it. His mind works constantly, and he may have found an idea to solve this problem without losing too many lives. Besides, he simply is unable to say no to Rex.

“If you truly think that this is key to understand why the Separatists are on a winning streak, then I suppose we could send a small team to investigate it.”

“A small team?” Rex asks, careful in his enthusiasm. Cody may have given in but that doesn’t mean they’re done.

“Yes, a small team,” Cody replies, and it’s obvious that he has something in mind already, and when Rex asks him, he just smiles, “You’ll see. I need to make a call.”

Clone Force 99. Nobody in Torrent Company has heard of this name.

“99, eh? Nice touch,” Rex comments, smiling sadly as he remembers his fallen vod. It’s nice seeing that someone has found a way to honor him. Fives is smiling too.

“Oh, I knew him well,” he begins, “He was the only one who believed in my cadet squad… I can’t believe it’s been so long already.” It feels like centuries have passed since 99’s death. He wonders what he would think about him; would he be proud? He’d say that he did his best, that he’s done so much good, but he still let so many vode die without being able to do anything about it. Maybe, however, he can at least save one of the people he thought he’d lost.

“Oh right, you were underdogs before coming here!” Jesse exclaims, recalling the few stories he and Echo told, “You never told us much about your Kamino days, vod.”

Fives chuckles, lightly shoving his brother - who has begun leaning closer to him - with one shoulder, colliding with Jesse’s ARC trooper armor - yeah, the di’kut really managed to get promoted.

“That’s because you were only looking for blackmail material!” he chuckles.

The truth is that he and Echo have always been a bit jealous of their shared past. They didn’t do it with malice, but it was something that tied them to each other, something special that only them shared. Remembering all the early Domino squad shenanigans was always a special occurrence for them. Even after Echo’s death - but he’s not dead, Fives knows it - he never felt like sharing that part of his past; it didn’t feel right without his brother.

“Getting back to the original topic,” Kix interrupts, “I’ve heard some things about this Clone Force 99.”

Trust Kix to do some digging before getting briefed on anything. That’s actually reassuring, at least they won’t walk in whatever Cody has planned blind.

“So?” Fives encouraged him, “What have you heard?”

“They have a 100% success rate, so they’ve got that going for them,” Kix begins, though he doesn’t look that happy about it as he should be.

“There’s a ‘but’ in here, isn’t it?”

“Well, the thing is… I haven’t found much except for that,” Kix reveals, “Even their existence is barely known!”

“Who’s their general?” Fives asks, curious and suspicious at the same time. He’s learned to be wary of secretive stuff; they usually never bode well.

“I don’t know,” Kix replies, “I don’t think they have one.”

Fives moves his gaze to Rex. What has Cody gotten them into this time? His Captain, on the other end, just shrugs.

“This means we’ll just have to find out information when we’ll meet them.”

“It doesn’t worry you that they seemingly work alone?” Jesse asks.

“They must have their reasons…” is what Rex replies with, making it clear that this is the end of the conversation, “You should get prepared, now. We’ll be departing shortly.”

“Sir yes sir!”

They meet up with Cody shortly after that.

“So, Clone Force 99, eh?” Rex asks, making Cody smirk.

“I see you already did your homework,” he comments.

“Blame Kix.” That earns a chuckle from both of them, before Rex continues, “How come nobody knows nothing about them?”

“They’re defective clones with desirable mutations. They call themselves ‘The Bad Batch’.” Huh, that doesn’t exactly spark confidence, but if Cody trusts them, then they must be worth it.

An aircraft lands - and Fives swears, the pilot must be worse the Skywalker because it’s a messy landing at best - and the main door opens.

There’s the sound of steps and four clones in full armor step outside to meet with them. They haven’t shown their faces yet but they already look different - it must be their demeanour. One of them is particularly huge - just what the hell did they feed him on Kamino?

Fives straightens his posture, watching in silence. So this is Clone Force 99.

That’s official, Fives hates these dudes.

Well, not really, or at least, not all of them. Hunter seems cool and badass - not as much as their captain of course - Wrecker is a force of nature, Tech seems chill… Yeah, the only one he actually fully hates is Crosshair. He doesn’t like people who act like they’re better than everybody else, and Crosshair surely seems to believe that he is; besides, there’s so much venom in the way he calls them regs that doesn’t sit well with Fives at all.

A peek at Jesse and Kix makes it pretty evident that he isn’t the only perplexed one. Jesse shoots at him and annoyed glance, while Kix just shrugs, already resigned to the incoming headache that this mission will cause him. Fives tries to reassure them with a smile, even though he must not be doing a great job.

Oh come on! How bad can it be?

Aaaand they lost the Marshal Commander already. Maybe Fives should’ve just shut his mouth.

At least Kix will stay with him until aid arrives, which also means that they’ve lost the medic already. They’ll have to be very careful.

Still, did those other shebs really have to show off like that? They could’ve easily handled the droids coming at them without them having to try so hard to be cool!

Not that Fives doesn’t appreciate some help - if it keeps them alive a bit more, why shouldn’t he? - but he doesn’t want to give them more excuses to gloat, especially since their main target seems to be the captain, which is not ok.

What makes him more annoyed is that, deep down, he admires these dudes. They seem to have a plan for everything. He wonders how they would fair with General Skywalker and his “screw plans” policy. Who knows, maybe he’d manage to throw them off the loop.

At least he can admit that they’re competent, though he refuses to say it out loud. He doesn’t want to verbally harass them like Kix and Jesse are doing, but he also won’t do anything to defend them. They might be competent and all, but they’re still asshole.

“You can’t talk to Captain Rex like that!”

Damn, Fives gets distracted for one second, one kriffing second, and hell breaks loose. Of course, it’s Crosshair’s and his bitch mouth’s fault.

Jesse’s so close to hit him, but Wrecker’s on him in an instant, picking him up from the ground. Now, if it was just a simple discussion, Fives would’ve let it go - he would’ve bitched about it internally but he would’ve let it go. This, this is different; if that’s a fight what they want, they will have a fight.

He bolts up, followed by Kix, whose intentions seem more towards stopping the fight than to take part in it, but Fives is having none of this. Insults and mocking are one thing, touching a brother is another.

“Let him down!” he yells stepping towards Wrecker. He barely registers Kix beings pushed by Crosshair, and if he dares to try the same thing on him he swears, he’ll snap him like the twig he is.

He may not have their “desirable mutations” but he can still kick their asses if he wants to, and look what a coincidence, he really does right now.

It takes Hunter to defuse the situation before it ends up in a scuffle. Damn, they’re acting like a bunch of shinies.

There’s still the mission to focus on, and Fives tries to keep his composure, ignoring the Bad Batch altogether.

As they prepare to leave he goes to check in on Kix, kneeled beside Cody. He’s applying some bacta on his wound.

“I don’t have much, but it’s better than nothing,” the medic mutters, clearly not happy about the situation. If they lose the kriffing Marshall Commander, it’ll be bad. At least help is on its way, so hopefully they won’t have to wait for too long; all Kix has to do is to make sure that he stays alive until they arrive.

“You sure you can hold up?” Fives asks.

“You’re the ones going into danger, not me.”

“Careful Kix, I might start thinking you’re jealous that we’re getting some action, unlike you.”

“Kriff off!” Kix goes to give Fives a light punch on his knee, but as the smile on his lips suggest, it’s a light-hearted gesture. It’s nice being able to tease each other like this again; there was too much tension before.

They both chuckle, but then Kix gets serious again.

“And tell Jesse not to do anything too stupid,” he warns Fives, who rolls his eyes at those words, even though he’s still smiling.

“Tell him yourself,” he replies, not because he won’t tell, but just because he wants to be a little shit.

“I already did, but knowing him he needs a reminder.”

“I’ll tell him you said that.”

“As if he doesn’t know already what I think of him,” Kix huffs, only to look at Fives as he adds, “Please, be careful.”

“We will, Kix, I promise. We didn’t come this close to ending the war just to die.”

Fives takes a moment to himself to focus, but judging by the heavy steps coming towards him, he will be joined by Jesse soon. He was never good at stealth and ARC training sure didn’t help with that.

“You ready?” his brother asks once he’s in hearing range. Fives turns towards him.

“Yeah I am.” At first it seems the end of the conversation, then Fives remembers what Kix asked him to do, “Kix wants to remind you not to do anything too stupid. Weird that he said ‘too stupid’ and not just ‘stupid’, almost like he knew already that you’re going to do something dumb anyway.”

“Ah ah,” Jesse says, mocking a laugh, face completely unimpressed, “When did you become such a killjoy? Last time I checked you were all for crazy battle tactics.”

“It’s not that I don’t like them anymore, but…”

But he almost died. Sure, he’s risked his life countless times in this war, but this last time really did a number of him, and that’s only scratching the surface of what’s going on in Fives’ head. Now that he’s so close to see finally the results of not only his efforts, but the vode’s as well, he doesn’t want to kick the bucket; he doesn’t want to be just another casualty to add to the list.

There’s also Echo’s deal. If he’s truly alive and out there, Fives wants to find him. Someone will have to take care of him, and that someone is going to be him; he owes him that after leaving him for dead at the Citadel. He promised himself that he won’t die before reaching him, even at the cost of foregoing his usual battle tactics.

He should say something, trying to explain himself, but as Jesse gently rests a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it, he understands that he doesn’t need to. In the end he had revealed to him and Kix too about his and Rex’s theory about Echo; needless to say that they’ve been enthusiastic at the prospect of having their brother back.

“I know, vod. I was just teasing you,” Jesse says, “And I solemnly swear that I won’t commit any reckless act… At least unless the situation really calls for it.”

“I’ll hold you to it,” Fives smirks, “And now let’s show these shebs how Torrent does things.”

“Yessir!”

It went better than expected. By diving their forces they’ve managed to distract the guards enough to infiltrate the command center. Hell, they even managed to get a getaway shuttle - Fives supposes that even Crosshair serves a purpose after all.

Still, Rex has been weirdly closed off since their departure, something that doesn’t sit well with Fives, who approaches him, wanting to know how his captain is fairing.

“Something wrong?”

“I heard his voice,” Rex says, turning to him, “Fives, I heard him back there. I asked who we were speaking to and I heard him.”

So this means…

“Echo’s alive. It’s all true.”

It takes Fives a moment to process Rex’s words, and when he does he feels dizzy. So it’s all true; what was once just a mere hope has become the truth.

Echo’s alive and Rex managed to contact him. This means that he’s in Separatists’ hands. He can’t help but to wonder what they have done to him, if he’s fine, if he’s safe, even though he knows that this kind of pointless worry will only make things worse for him.

Still, now that he knows he’s truly alive, he’ll do everything he can to rescue him. He owes him that much.

“I suppose this means the mission is far from over, captain.”

Rex nods. “It only just begun.”

#arc trooper fives #captain rex #anakin skywalker #commander cody #arc trooper jesse #clone trooper kix #the bad batch #sw #tcw #star wars #the clone wars #my fics #mine #found you #clone husband

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 5 years ago

Text

Dating Beverly Marsh Would Include...

Requested: [I'm sorry I can't remember who requested this or if this was an anon, I'm sorry!] Hey, could I request some headcanons about dating Beverly? (Also if you could add in the reader having homophobic parents 💕)

Warnings: obviously there will be homophobia, [at the end so people can skip if they need to read safely 😊] specifically from the readers parents so please feel free to skip if need be. And remember my blog is a safe space 💕 oh yeah theres also plenty of grammar/spelling errors i'm sure

A//n: This was WAY longer than I anticipated. I just kept coming up with more stuff and holy crap I love writing Bev x readers???? Please request more Bev Edit: this was in my drafts forever and again as much as i have been trying to get requests out in order, it's been pretty tough but at least this way stuff gets out sooner so here ya go.

Okay

First of all..

Y'all make the CUTEST COUPLE, OKAY?!

Like no joke

You know that cliche about girls stealing their boyfriends hoodies/clothes??

Well that goes for both of you and you both are always swapping clothes cause you both love each other's sense of style

Plus, ya know, it's got that great boyfriend girlfriend smell

It's cheesy and played out, but it's honestly so wholesome, and again, you guys each have an interest in each others senses of styles

If you're bigger than her, and her clothes don't necessarily fit you, pfffttt no big deal, she had a million blankets that smelled like her and then you two got together and now she can only find like,, two. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love stealing your clothes!! They're baggier on her but oH MY GOODNESS DOES SHE LOVE THAT. She just loves being able to completely immerse herself in your stuff. Especially when she isn't feeling safe in her own home and you aren't around, the best thing for her is to wrap herself in her your stuff and be comforted by you. Uggh, its hella sweet

But let's start from the beginning...

Both of you knew about each other from school

You definitely heard the many rumors about "Beaver-ly Marsh"

Not that you participated, but you were always overhearing rumors from gossiping girls and bragging boys in your class

Your school wasn't huge but it wasn't small either

But it was kill or be be killed, and rumors spread like the damn plague

It was inevitable

And it was just a matter of time before you overheard the several rumors of the "slut" who did it with every guy in school.

You'd roll you're eyes at the word and the ridiculous insinuations, knowing the massively overplayed game of telephone that ruled your school was not necessary the most credible source of information

And you were positive there were rumors about you, I mean, it really wasn't possible to go to that school without a rumor going around

Everyone had one

Anyways, you never paid much attention to them, but then you met her...

And oh no.

Immediately, it was:

You already never paid much mind to the rumors, but when you got to know each other??

Nuh uh.

No way

Not Beverly

No no no no, no

She was way too sweet, and shy, and beautiful, and awesome, and funny, annnd oh no the damn butterflies were back and shit she made you feel things

And you??

Bevery had no clue she was into girls until you came along...

You were her gay awakening and her being so used to all those nasty things people said about her and all those boys??

Even though it wasn't true, any of it, she still always expected that eventually one day she'd get her first boyfriend, to love and cuddle with and everything normal

Again, then you came along and her heart was all like

BOOM BOOM BEECH

You both danced around each other a lot. Seeing as you were two precious little gay beans that lived in a conservative town in the 80s, it wasn't exactly the most accepting environment and you guys didn't know if the other was into girls at all

On both sides it was "does she like me or is she just really laid back and friendly???"

It took way too long to figure out you were both into each other

If I'm being completely honest here, y'all were like the female reddie

Two girls who became best friends and always bickered like crazy to hide your feelings

The way you two found out you had feelings for one another was bumpy and awkward but silly and cute nonetheless

It came off in a passing comment that just slipped out

The two of you were having a sleepover like you did every Friday night you were available

and you two were laying on her bedroom floor talking about anything and everything staring at the ceiling

Her radio was playing in the background and the two of you were surrounded by various snacks you had been munching on all throughout the night and the conversation drifted to gossip about your peers at school

It went a little something like this:

Y: "Did you see so and so today??"

B: "Yes!!"

Y: *laughing* "Yeah, what the hell was that?"

B: I have no idea what goes on in her head...

B: but I guess I gotta give her some credit, she's always super confident and I'm like, 90% sure that's what makes her the most desirable girl in the 8th grade"

Y: "I guess that makes sense"

B: "I do wish I had her confidence. Maybe I'd have better luck romantically"

Y: "Oh please, like you need that. You're infinitely more attractive than her"

B: "What?"

Y: *panicked* "What?"

B: *slowly sits up with smug ass smirk on her lips* are you saying you find me... attractive?"

Y: ..."what?" *sweating*

B: *still smirking* "Wait,"

Y: "WhAT?"

B: *stILL smirking* "do you-?"

Y: *full on gay panic* "No!"

B: *smirking and blushing*

B: *lays back down* "well, I think you're pretty attractive yourself, if it's any consolation"

She's still so nervous though so it comes out in a whisper

She's 99 percent certain you just accidentally revealed your crush to her but her heart was p o u n d i n g anyway

What if it just came out wrong and that's why you panicked???

Had she just revealed her crush to you by mistake???

But no

You both were a blushing mess and it did not go unnoticed by either one of you

You're hands kinda accidently brushed and you both just had a heart attack on the spot

But the connection you two had that night

You both just... knew

You guys kinda just... happened

After that you both were aware you liked each other

But it was kind of unspoken

At first

It's not like you guys never talked about it, but you two definitely became more touchy and flirty

Holding hands when no one was looking

Shortly before you guys happened and before that night, she had introduced you to losers and they just totally accepted you as one of their own

You got along especially well with Richie (wonder why)

But Bev wasn't too happy about this particular fact...

Especially after you two got together

She wasn't necessarily jealous, especially cause she already had a sneaking suspicion about his feelings for another loser, but because he took up a lot of her time with you

But then, to her chagrin, Richie found out about you two

the eight of you were hanging out in the clubhouse, and Ben had to make some adjustments so him and the others left momentarily to help him get the resources

Except you, and Bev

You two volunteered to hold down the fort [literally]

aaaaaaand you two wanted to have a few minutes alone together too,

Nothing scandalous or anything like that, but you two didn't get be close around the losers

Then Richie returned way earlier than expected [turns out he was doing more harm than good and they sent him back]

He was just outside the entrance and he overheard you two

"I wish we could tell them,"

"I know. And it's not that I don't think they'll accept us, it's-" *sigh* "I'm just not ready... I'm sorry"

"Don't be. It's okay, we can tell them when we're both good and ready."

"Thank you, Y/n."

Richie just kinda stood there thinking about what he just heard

I mean, it made sense, you guys were really close, but then again, that's just how he thought all girls were

But everything else kinda made more sense the more he thought about it

And, it honestly reminded him of him and Eddie

More specifically, how he felt about his best friend

Now naturally this was a very emotional moment, but Richie Tozier being Richie Tozier wasn't about to waltz in there and give some sappy speech about he accepts you guys and he's here for you no matter what

No, no, no

He laid down on the forest floor, sticking his head in the clubhouse scaring the shit out of you two and said

"You guys should really be more quiet, Ben may be a suspiciously good overnight kid architect sensation but he has yet to soundproof this baby"

He then stuck his arm inside the clubhouse, patting the ceiling, shaking a couple spiders loose from his his hand in disgust

"Richie...!"

You two jumped apart and you about nearly shit your pants

"Relax, I'm not gonna tell anyone,"

You both were startled as hell and absolutely disgruntled but the two of you looked at each other, simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief

He got up and joined you two in the clubhouse, and began lounging in his usual spot in the hammock, arms behind his head

"So, this means you two are both into girls, huh?"

Once again, you looked at one another and back at him, nodding shyly

He plastered on the most mischievous smirk you had ever seen and nodded his head, his huge eyes squinting slightly from behind his glasses

"niceee"

This of course was followed by simultaneous eye rolls, Bev even threw her gum wrapper at him but you laughed

It was a relieved laugh

Here you were, exposed and unintentionally outed to Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier and sure enough his reaction was "nICE"

It was honestly a relief and kinda hilarious

You guys just kinda broke out into laughter

It was nice moment

***TRIGGER WARNING FOR [PARENTAL] HOMOPHOBIA BELOW***

And for a while, everything was great. That was, until your parents began to take note just how much time you were spending with Bev

They kept an eye on it at first

Then they started asking questions

You knew this day would come one way or another

Hell, you grew up with them after all, you knew what they thought about people like you and it broke your heart

It terrified you

And it's exactly what you heard every night when you tried to fall asleep, their voices speaking to you clear as day; how disgusted they were. They weren't really there of course and it wasn't until you became a loser that you found out what that voice was...

The point is, your deepest fear was being realized so you did what you could do

Lie

And it seemed to work. Briefly

Your mother had come in to check on you two for the fifth time - usually she checked on you two four times since their suspicions - and found you two snuggled up on top of your sleeping bags

Your mother screamed, scaring the crap out of you guys and you jumped apart

Your mother was thrown into hysterics and went to fetch your father, wailing like a damn baby

Needless to say that night was a long one for everyone

And as if things couldn't get any worse, just days later you found out that Beverly had been taken by It

Immediately, every doubt, every fear, every inkling of shame your parents and your community had drilled into you was forgotten and all that mattered was getting her back

You and your friends literally went through hell to get her back

Needless to say it was a terrifying ordeal but you all had each other's backs and everyone came out okay

When you left Neibolt, you and Beverly were hand in hand

You couldn't give a flying fck about it, you just fought a shape-shifting demon clown you could face your small minded parents

And more importantly you knew even if your parents didn't support you, you had other people who did that and that was enough

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Hope you enjoyed, sorry it's so long and again this is out of order of who requested it so I'm sorry to those of you who had stuff in before this, but I've just been stuck for too long and I needed to get things moving again. Anyways, I hoped you guys like this and again, omg I love writing Beverly!!! I would not be offended if you guys asked for more Bev fics/hc when I open up requests again

#beverly marsh headcanon request #beverly marsh imagine #beverly marsh x reader #beverly marsh #headcanon #head canon #beverly marsh headcanon #beverly marsh head canon #bev head canon #beverly hc #beverly marsh hc #bev marsh hc #hc #hc request #homphobia #homophobia warning #it #it requests #it request

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