#or architect yet sadly

[whippedcremepi]

THE DECAYED characters designs for my fellow fans

Some blurry screenies for reference, images have been brightened for clearer viewing.

[unpickled-olive]

Realizing that, while I like Destiny lore, what I love is Seth Dickinson's writing.

The Final Shape was a lovely story and the characters' archs were all emotional and satisfying. Maybe a nostalgic tear was shed for Cayde bonding with his reformed, resurrected killer.

But the things that have kept me coming back for 9 years were missing. I thought there'd be concrete answers about the Traveler, or some more thorough insights into the Witness, or even good lore on the Dread. I was hoping for another great lore book to join the ranks of Books of Sorrow, Unveiling, Mysterious Logbook, Marasenna, Last Days of Kraken Mare, etc. Some philosophy and horror, a genesis or exegesis or thorough backstory on a yet unexamined character/species.

Sadly, I didn't find those. The Dread's origin is that the Witness made them. Do they think and feel? TBD. The Traveler's conclusion was something like "you just have to have faith <3." Fine for the characters, but not for the readers/players of a 10-year-old mystery.

There's some nice things. The Micah-10 Traveler interpretations are cool, as is her origin story. And the foreshadowing still has me excited for the Dreadnaught, a yet unseen Disciple, etc. But I think key parts of what made Destiny lore so alluring for me are diminished.

Maybe it's the layoffs at Bungie. Maybe it's new writers going in a different direction. Either way, the aspects of sci-fi/space fantasy—ancient mysteries, metaphysical warfare, _____—have taken the back seat to personal drama that frankly isn't that interesting or fleshed out.

Maya could be an interesting antagonist, but she needed more backstory than "this simulation was evil or something" and more nuance than "the Vanguard are coercive, so I will coerce all of humanity." Why not explore what her presence means for the Vex, or the other simulations helping Praedyth escape the Vault?

The Witness trying to sway various characters was fine, but that has been covered so many times, especially in Beyond Light.

All that said, back to Seth: their absence in TFS made me realize how huge their presence in the lore was for my love of Destiny. I finally went and read their original works. What an incredible writer.

First, I read Exordia, the first/only entry into a dark mindfuck of a space opera. Its horrific in abstract ways: mysterious alien monoliths that poison reality around them. It's horrific in grounded ways, too: the alien invasion plays off of parallels with the Anfal campaign and the US involvement in Iraq. It's campy at times (with a villain who shouts "I love genocide!") but also profound. There's souls and date, but also math. There's also my favorite trope: mysterious, ancient architects.

After that, I read Baru Cormorant—all three books in a month. It's tragic and inspiring and genius. Originally I couldn't get through the first chapter because of the "fantasy" label. I've already read Earthsea and wasn't in the mood for wizards on boats. But I had the wrong impression. Understandable, because there is just no succinct way to label it.

Is it even fantasy? Honestly, I still don't know.

What it is is its own world. One that the inhabitants haven't fully mapped. One whose past is a must and whose future is uncertain. It's about hegemony. It's about purpose, obsession, and revenge. It's about revolution and community.

The colonizer culture is a kaleidoscope of different influences. Seafaring. Peri-industrial. Eugenic. It strikes me as something like 17th century Britain with a 20th century grasp of science. They don't have guns, but they do have both Greek fire and lobotomies. The story plays with different cultural views on indigenous rights, race, sexuality, and gender in ways that commentary real life while serving as interesting world building.

This story also weaves an insane amount of intellectual concepts into it. But rather than bog it down, they lift it up. The fate of the republic hinges on a myriad of different questions: is evolution Lamarckian or Darwinian? Can mathematical proofs usurp cultural hegemony? How do economics influence history? Most importantly, can you destroy the enemy from within before it destroys you?

It is not just cerebral, but tragic and heartbreaking. I saw the end of the first book coming, and yet I was devastated by the last chapter. Crushed like no ending has ever really crushed me. I didn't want it to happen.

There will likely be some time before the final book comes out, which is understandable. So much research goes into these. So many plot threads need to be woven together. So many mysteries not yet confronted.

This is all to say: if you like what I like about Destiny–thorough examinations of ancient mysteries, sci-fi takes on souls and magic, fantasy takes on science and technology, obsessive characters and vividly fucked up monsters, cancer and math as motifs, metaphors manifesting, and genius characters written by genius authors–give Seth Dickinson a chance.

[explosivedesire]

So she was back in Spirale. Which meant having to visit everyone that probably didn't even know she had been thrown back into the city. Some people were lower on the totem pole then others but one in particular was right on the top.

A quick address look up and long walk lead her to the residence in the Sunset Circuit. It was only then that Architect realized she never actually went inside their home nor did she know anyone else who lived there. Maybe he wasn't even home? Maybe he moved? There was really only way to find out.

...And it involved kicking down the door and busting right into the main room.

"EIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN. Guess who fell asleep again and decided to end up back in this hellhole again?!"

It was her, sadly. Although the moment he barged into the living room she stared at the TV, seeing a movie about some dog and their owner on the screen. Although the moment she turned over towards Eiden all the doll saw was someone with a bunch of tissues and tears going down their face.

And somehow he didn't even realize she kicked down the door or anything yet. Was it really that engrossing?

".....Are you crying? It's a movie what the hell are you crying about?"

@kleinstar

[valend]

Disgusting. This is….. so low I cannot even fathom who, out of all the people in our world had the absolute nerve to attempt this irreverence, in such a foul way. That is unacceptable. A scandalous affront to both history and good taste, is this egregious portrayal of burr, the man whose name should be  listed in the Cambridge dictionary, as a synonym of “coward”. This duplicitous scoundrel should be forgotten, all of his so-called legacy which consists of disreputable to his already dodgy reputation amorous escapades with unsurprisingly, mostly married women, burned , so it does not corrupt another generation of people with its deviousness. Oh, what do we get instead? Stripping away the very essence of what  burr was — epitomized ambition, devoid of integrity — replaced with a sultry facade and veiled femininity, originated from the desire to make the viewers submit to their innate desires, not everyone having the will to resist. Creators of this theatrical farce ought to be proud of themselves: I haven’t seen a more unbecoming choice of actor in the entirety of my existence. Is it not maddening to witness this blatant disregard of the historical truths, in what is supposed to be its accurate depiction? The carefully-crafted image, evidently conspired by its inventors to distract us from the mold that rots beneath. They claim to be anti-burr, and yet, in what I hope was mere zealous pursuit of dramatic flair, drape him in charisma, as if he was the embodiment of nobility! What nonsense! To elevate a man, whose looks and bearings do not even begin to match the brilliance of sir Hamilton… Hamilton, the genius architect of our nation, who worked endlessly to elevate it, while Burr had languished in his shadows, thriving off his accomplishments, but never creating anything himself. Yes, he has a presence; there is no denying that, but a presence deceiving. He should be portrayed not as an enticing figure — but as a cautionary tale: a reminder, where jealousy and femininity can lead a man. One can overlook his inspiration expression and outward folly only if he chooses to — and the writers had made their choice. Furthermore, they succeeded, even the so-called “lesbians” of this place had fallen easily under his perceived charm, despite the claim of “knowing better than that.” Historians of our age no longer want to preserve history, they want to see it the way that pleases them, even if it includes rewriting it completely. I, as a man of honor and virtue, cannot stand for this. I can — and I will — fight against indulging in the romanticization of a man whose only memorable action was one of betrayal — and resist the instincts the actor’s appearance evokes in myself. Sadly, that is not what most viewers will do, thinking a “pretty” face is enough to justify the vile ‘man’ behind.

“So called “lesbians” of this place” not the valend shade 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[rotworld]

19: Going In Circles

(previous)

you get lost. things get worse.

->contains gore, body horror, parasites, ear penetration, non-consensual touching.

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.

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It’s impossible to know how long you spend on Aliquando Island. It looks like a few days but feels like months. You wake up beside Jamie just before dawn, studying their tranquil expression—parted lips and fluttering lashes—until weak sunlight trickles through the balcony doors. You dine on seafood with the artists. Sometimes Jamie tries their hand at oil panting in one of the second floor studios, talking amicably with a woman who used to be a University art professor. Sometimes you follow the Architect down to the beach, listening to his rambling stories about the island while he casts his fishing line.

He sees something about you that startles him a few times. He turns and suddenly goes wide-eyed and silent mid-conversation. “Oh! My goodness,” he says, laughing off the shock. “I thought you were—no. Not yet.” If you ask him what he means, he’ll feign ignorance. He’s already forgotten what he just said. But he looks at you differently, you think. You catch the twinkle of nostalgia in his eyes from across the room, like he’s just seen an old friend.

“Do you like it?” Jamie asks you one evening, the two of you leaning against the balcony railing to enjoy the cool, salty air. “The ocean, I mean. Would you want to live somewhere like this?” 

“You know what I’m going to say.”

They nudge against you playfully. “Alright, smartass, how about this? Would you want to come back to a place like this between exciting, life-threatening courier deliveries?” 

“I don’t know,” you admit. It’s true, you do like the ocean. Aliquando Island doesn’t grate on you like most cities. You aren’t waking up in the morning with a persistent itch for the road, anxious to keep moving, but that could very well be the island’s strange, warped sense of time. You ask Jamie, “Would you be there?” 

Jamie yanks you over by the forearm and crushes your lips together. The fluke slithers into your mouth like a second tongue and Jamie moans when you suckle it gently. They grab your jaw when they pull away, the fluke flicking against your lips one last time before it retreats. “You make this so, so difficult for me, courier,” they murmur. “How am I supposed to let you out of my sight when you say things like that?” 

Eventually, the isthmus appears again. The Architect informs you over breakfast, though  not without some apprehension. “It may not be quite right,” he warns you. “I can’t promise that you’ll even be able to leave.” You thank him for his hospitality. You tell him you’re going to get help somehow, that you’ll come back someday. He smiles sadly. “I know. And I’ll be so happy to see you again. I just wish it would be under better circumstances.” 

The artists gather on the front lawn of the mansion. The goodbye is bittersweet. Jamie makes a fuss about letting you drive but lets you off with a stern look. You wave as you turn the car around, heading for the isthmus road. 

“How do you fix something like this?” you ask. “When anchorware malfunctions, what do they do to stabilize the area again?”

Jamie looks back, watching the house vanish in the swirl of the fog. They squeeze your shoulder. Your heart sinks. 

[NOW PLAYING ON THE RADIO: LACRYMARIA OLOR BY NICOLE DOLLAGANGER]

The drive is just as you remember it: slow and eerie, the fog so thick you can’t see further than the nose of your car. You can hear the ocean if you listen, rolling waves and gentle seabreeze. Home is southwest until it isn’t. The pull falters, the string gone taut and painful in your chest. Southwest. South. Southeast. It seems to glide. Home is behind you, and then it’s dead ahead. Jamie keeps a hand on the headrest of your seat, posture rigid and eyes shut. They’re not saying anything, which worries you. 

“Our best bet is to find the nearest town,” you tell them. “Meet with some other couriers, fill out our map a bit. The University is usually to the east. Just need to narrow things down a bit.” 

Jamie hums in acknowledgement. You let them focus. Truthfully, you’re not sure what you’ll do once you reach the University. Anchor feels untouchable. Would anyone be willing to sanction a place so vital to the Drift’s continued existence? Could they even reach it, or would all the roads be even more twisted and tangled up after you’d managed to slip through?

“You are missed, angel. It is time to go home.” The God of Nelton’s voice is strong and clear. You’ve been neglecting your anti-parasitic medication, but its influence has been gentle; a soft nudge rather than smothering pressure. It wants you to want the soothing pleasure of its control. It reminds you of the Feast of the Multitude from a skewed, rose-tinted perspective. You see yourself from a hundred voyeuristic perspectives, panting and shameless in Malachi’s lap. “You are all welcome in my embrace.”

You can’t help but feel some fondness and amusement for that. It’s a definite improvement over before, when it wanted to rip the fluke out of Jamie’s brain. But Nelton isn’t your home, and you have more immediate concerns, the worst of which becomes apparent when Jamie opens their eyes and sighs deeply.

“We’re lost,” they admit. “This is different somehow. I can’t tell which way it out.”

“That’s alright,” you say. “We just followed the road coming into Aliquando Island. We should be able to follow it right back out—”

There’s someone in your backseat. You glimpse them just briefly, your eyes flicking across the rearview mirror and away before you process that there is a shape, a person, someone in the middle space between you and Jamie with a hand curled around your seat. You screech to a stop and look back in a panic. Nothing. Nobody there. Your heart races. Did you really imagine that? 

Jamie follows your gaze to the backseat. “Are you okay?” they ask gently. “Do you need a break? I can drive for a while.” 

You’re fine. You have to keep going, have to figure out what to do about Anchor. You keep driving into the fog. Did it last this long before? You feel like you’ve been driving for hours and making no progress. You check the clock and it hasn’t budged; the same early hour you left, down to the minute. Something is very wrong.

A shape lurches out of the fog up ahead. You manage to stop in time to see the strange, hulking thing move in jolts and jerky shudders. It’s a mosaic of features; human, animal, alien. Skin stretched loosely like an ill-fitted sheet around a jumble of broken glass, hand and hoof and claw dragging its body forward. There are a pack of them moving in the same eerie way, slinking across the road in stop-motion. 

Those are glass mimics. Young ones who are still learning imitation, still collecting usable bits and pieces, or older ones shedding their borrowed forms. You saw one in New Ridgeway. It tried to steal a woman’s face. There are at least a dozen in front of you now, ranging in size from a housecat to a large, bristling wolf. 

“Shit,” Jamie mutters. “That many of them, they’re probably migrating. Glass mimics are one of the few things that can pass through planes without a shift to help them.” 

“They’re not bothering us, at least,” you say quietly, hoping they don’t change their minds.

Jamie frowns tightly. “It’s not them I’m worried about. If we’re seeing them on the move, then we’re not in the Drift anymore.” 

“That’s right, children of the road.” The voice sounds close; in the car with you. You see the thing in the mirror again but when you look back, it’s not there. One of the mimics in the road—an older one, larger than the rest, more limbs than it’s supposed to have, extra skin dragging like a ragged cloak in its wake—stops. It lifts itself up on mismatched hind legs in a nauseating blur of motion, shaping itself before your eyes. It discards its extra parts, a patch of rotten, pus-oozing hide and spotty fur sloughing off with a sick splatter. It contorts and rotates, hiding its sharp inner parts beneath soft, human curves. It starts to look familiar. 

You remember those long, graceful limbs and glittering eyes, silken hair draped over both shoulders. It’s Elisile. It occurs to you now how much he resembles Jamie; that’s one of Jamie’s sweaters, Jamie’s pretty smile and bony wrists. The other mimics continue on, vanishing into the fog, but Elisile stays. 

“The cracks between broken worlds are no place for you. Something must have gone terribly wrong,” he coos, his voice louder than it should be. You see him in your mirrors. He shouldn’t be there. Has all your time passing through sharp, fractured patches of reality worn away their protective coverings?

Jamie gets out of the car. You stammer protests but they ignore you, climbing out and resting their hand against the open door. “Elisile?” they ask. Their voice is quiet and uncertain.

“Hello, Jamie.” You don’t see the mimic move but it’s slightly closer. “I’m glad to see you’ve found each other. There’s safety in numbers.” 

You glance between the two of them. “You’ve met before?”

You can’t read Jamie’s expression. They’re wary but not afraid. They look at Elisile like a friend they didn’t expect to see again. “We’ve met before,” they repeat. That’s all they’re willing to say.

“You know he’s—”

“A mimic?” Elisile cuts you off, his attention returning to you with a sharp glance. “How much do you really know about mimics? About my species, or any, for that matter?” 

You know the basics. Glass mimics are cold to the touch. They don’t sweat, and their blood is black. They take on shapes they learn through close observation or consumption, and they’re not known to understand human speech, only copy what they’ve heard. 

That’s what you thought, anyway. Elisile’s interactions with you have all been a little too convincing for you to believe he’s unaware of what his words mean. 

“You need my help,” he says, his smile soft and innocent. 

Jamie frowns. “We can manage on our own.” 

“Oh, of course. I can see you’re managing splendidly.” He moves closer and your pulse picks up when Jamie doesn’t move, doesn’t even seem to register Elisile as a threat. You get out of the car and put yourself between the two of them. Elisile blinks and his eyes change colors, attempting to mimic the golden glow of Nelton; your eyes. “You haven’t told them, have you? About the storm, the snow. What’s coming for you now.” 

Your heart skips a beat. “How do you—?” 

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you since we last met. It was difficult to see much at first, but the Drift is falling apart. Nobody’s mirrors are what they used to be.” His gaze shifts to a spot over your shoulder. “A happy couple needs to communicate. Don’t you think, Jamie? Surely you won’t let that slide. Who knows what other secrets they might be keeping?” 

“I didn’t—I wasn’t trying to—” 

“What is he talking about?” Jamie asks quietly. 

You forgot about the Road Ripper. So much has happened since the motel, so much time spent just trying to survive, trying to cling to whatever fleeting happiness you could find, and part of you had hoped he might have lost your trail. You try to tell Jamie all of this but their expression never softens. They study your face intently, as though searching for any sign of a lie.

“They’re marked,” Elisile says. “It’s nothing tangible, but it doesn’t have to be. He can find them no matter where they go, and as long as the snow can get in, so can he. He’ll hunt them until his bloodlust reaches its peak, and then he’ll kill them. And if you’re with them when it happens, Jamie, you’ll be marked next.”

“I don’t care about being marked,” Jamie snaps, turning towards you. “But what about the rest of this? When were you going to tell me someone was following you? That you were in that kind of danger?” 

“I was…I was going to,” you swear. “Jamie, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to put you in any danger. It honestly slipped my mind—” 

“It ‘slipped your mind?’” they echo, incredulous.

You can feel Elisile watching all of this. He stands nearby, hands together, smiling gently. “It’s not their fault, Jamie. Their priorities are just skewed. Too much time around humans. The last time I saw them, actually, they were helping an Anchor scientist get out of New Ridgeway safely…”

A hand seizes your shoulder and slams you back against the car. Jamie’s eyes are cold. “He’s lying!” you say quickly. “I wasn’t—I was in New Ridgeway, but she said she was from the University! She studied mimics, she was on a cleanup assignment—”

“There are no ‘cleanup assignments.’” Jamie’s grip shifts to your neck when you try to fight, pushing you back down and threatening to cut off your air. “Courier. Tell me you did not do this. Tell me that Elisile is mistaken, and it was someone else.” 

The mimic is closer again, leaning against the car and staring down at you with feigned sympathy. “You didn’t know, did you, courier?” he says, his voice sickeningly sweet. “You couldn’t have known. I’m sure she spun some sort of story for you. New Ridgeway was Anchor’s fault. The city had an unusually large number of children of the road. Of course a place like Anchor would be interested in that. There was a lab in town for a while, conducting tests, taking samples…New Ridgeway complied initially but their compliance waned as the tests became more extreme. Less safe. I don’t know when exactly Anchor blockaded the city, but at some point, no one was allowed to leave.”

“I didn’t know,” you insist, struggling to speak through Jamie’s tightening grip. “Jamie, I swear, I had no idea—” 

“I believe you, courier. That’s not the problem.” Their other hand reaches up and strokes your ear, thumb tracing the shell. “The problem is you’re too trusting. Too incautious. I shouldn’t even be here with you, should I? You forgave me too easily. I could lose you. To anyone, or anything. All it has to do is speak sweetly enough.” 

“That’s not true!” 

Jamie leans in and kisses you softly. The fluke scrapes your lips. “Elisile,” they say, never breaking your gaze, “hold them down.” 

You fight but you don’t win. The last time you saw Elisile, he let you go. If he’d used even a fraction of his strength back then, you’d never have left New Ridgeway. It’s easy for him to wrestle you down to the asphalt no matter how you kick and writhe. He straddles your waist and there’s no moving him, no bucking him off. He looks light but his weight is crushing, and it’s effortless for him to hold your wrists down on either side of your body. Jamie crouches above your head and you see them upside down, leaning over you. They turn your head to the side, hard asphalt digging into one of your cheeks. Their fingers pinch and play with your exposed ear, stroking the lobe.

The God of Nelton squirms anxiously. You feel it calling out to Jamie’s fluke, that spindly connection unfurling, before it suddenly snaps. Cut off, you think. The fluke—and Jamie, by extension—are unwilling to compromise.

“I don’t want to cause permanent damage,” Jamie murmurs. Their thumb rubs up and down, caressing the dips of your ear. 

“You don’t need to,” Elisile assures them. “Just a short, deep sleep, so travel is safer. Can’t have your beloved getting lost.” 

Your reaction is delayed from shock. You can’t wrap your mind around what’s happening. Jamie would never hurt you. You had a rocky start but they understand you, respect your choices. They stroke your ear with a heated, half-lidded gaze. “Jamie, please,” you beg. “Please don’t do this. He’s—he’s doing this on purpose! He’s manipulating you, he’s trying to get something out of this!” 

“Elisile is worried about you because you keep doing foolish things,” Jamie murmurs. They lean in, breath ghosting against your ear. You shiver when the fluke darts out and slithers along the curve. “I said I wanted to keep you and I meant it, courier. But you make it difficult.” The fluke extends further. Dozens of thin, squirming hair-like tendrils split off along its sides and ghost across your skin like cobwebs as it begins crawling into your ear canal.

You scream, trying and failing to get any part of your body free. Elisile clicks his tongue, chiding you like a misbehaving child. Jamie tries to distract you with gentle kisses and nips, tonguing at your ear while the fluke crawls deeper. You don’t want to believe this is happening. It’s a nightmare, worse than any vision of endless darkness and great, incomprehensible monsters and forgetting how to breathe. It doesn’t make sense. Tears burn in the corners of your eyes and wet your cheeks. You cry Jamie’s name like it’s the only word you know. 

“I love you, courier.” 

You don’t hear the words, but you feel them. They’re warmth blossoming in your chest, a pulse of soothing acceptance. The God of Nelton goes lax in your chest. 

“I love you, and I’m so sorry.”

You hear a sound like a cabinet of plates shattering all at once, a shrill, ear-splitting noise of destruction. Elisile tumbles back and away from you, both hands broken off at the wrist. Thick, black blood spurts like ink from the jagged wounds, splashing on the pavement. Jamie’s palms are bloody from dozens of thin lacerations, shards of glass lodged in the cuts. You remember the night you met, the way they hovered over the body of the fluke as though prepared to die for it—because that’s how they lean over you now. 

“If you’re leaving the Drift, then leave. I won’t follow. This is my home, Elisile. They are my home. I won’t betray them.” You hear the fluke in the sharpness of Jamie’s voice, the territorial growl edging their words. Elisile doesn’t look surprised or even upset. He stands up gracefully, still bleeding profusely from both wrists. 

“You’ll regret it, Jamie. This broken little world of yours is being torn apart at the seams,” he warns. “But I won’t waste my breath. I can see you’ve made up your mind.” His gaze lowers. He sneers at you. “I hope this wretched place doesn’t disappoint you.” 

He slinks across the road where the rest of the mimics went, vanishing into the swirl of the fog. His shape unfurls as he goes with a wet, shredding sound and the scrape of glass, his silhouette no longer human. Jamie helps you back to the car quickly and without a word. “We should keep moving,” they say, tense, not looking at you.

“You had me worried for a second there,” you say. You mean it as a joke, even if you’re half-serious. Jamie doesn’t laugh. They curl up against the window and stare at the fog, keeping their distance. Sometimes you catch them glancing over at you guiltily. They didn’t mean it, did they? They were just acting, getting Elisile to lower his guard. 

But the look in their eyes—that hurt and that fear, you think, that was real. I could lose you to anyone or anything, they said.

“You don’t want to talk about it, do you?” you ask. Jamie shakes their head. Maybe you both have a few things you’ve been keeping quiet. All this time together, all the talking you do, and there are still a few secrets and insecurities lurking unsaid. 

Maybe the glass mimics moving on does something to reality, or maybe it’s just luck; either way, the fog thins out to its usual distant, wispy curtain. It’s night now, dark enough that you need your highbeams. You see the forests of Verlinda thick at the roadside and feel Anchor pulling at your heart. It should be cause for celebration, the time to joke and laugh and talk lightheartedly, but neither of you says a word for a while. 

“I’m sorry,” Jamie says quietly. “That was…I should’ve warned you, at least.” 

“Do you really think I’m going to leave you?” you ask.

“I don’t think you want to leave. I think someone will take you, and you’ll let them. I think you’re going to do the kind thing when you should do the smart thing. That’s how I’ll lose you.” 

You don’t know what to say. You want to reassure them and promise you won’t. That you’ll stay. That they won’t lose you. You’re still mulling over the right words when you see a shape in your headlights. A man standing in the middle of the road. You nearly swerve into a tree trying to avoid him. He runs over to your window without hesitation, banging on the glass.

“Courier? You—you made the delivery, didn’t you?” He’s familiar. It takes you a moment to remember why, giving him a once-over and realizing he’s standing out here naked. He’s Verlindan; one of the men who was with the Stag. 

“Garvan?” you say, your face heating with embarrassment at the memory of your last meeting.

“You did, you must’ve. The mark’s gone. What did they say?” He looks awful, you think. His eyes are bloodshot and rimmed with dark lines of exhaustion. He’s shaking. “What did they say?” he snaps when you don’t answer. “What did they tell you at the University? What did they find?” 

“They didn’t tell me anything. I don’t even know what I delivered,” you say. Garvan’s shoulders sink. He collapses without warning, sinking to his knees on the pavement. “Garvan? What’s going on?” You’re out of the car without even thinking about it, dimly aware of Jamie’s door opening behind you. 

“He’s dead, courier,” Garvan croaks. “The Stag. He’s dead.” 

(next)

[indomitableblackdragon]

I can't figure out this spacing thing and I'm not about to find out. So hey! I'm Allul (They/Them, trying to figure that thing out)! I'm that fucking creature that's flooding your dash with posts about a boat girl and whatever other shenanigans my mind decides to get up to. I'd say I should apologize but really the longer you know me the more you realize this is just how I live my life

I'm 26 (Not for long) and a terrible chronic gacha addict that probably should've stopped a long time ago. But since i haven't I now have adopted boats (as this blog shows) along with....

androids

horse girls

very bisexual prisoners

food personifications

goblins

cinnamon rolls

and plenty of other random things that go in and out of my mind on the daily. This may come at a surprise to plenty of people but I literally haven't even been here a year yet (shocking I know). Most of my writing career has been either super bad fanfics, skype rp (yes this sadly was part of my life), and forums of recently. Only after being dragged here by a few friends did I realize what I was missing out on and I'm glad I joined! I promise you I'm not intimidating as I may seem (If I even come off as intimidating) and really I'm a DM away from blowing your eardrums off about whatever you want. Like lets be real my first blog here was a goddamn pokemon. I think that says everything you need to know.

Anyway next is checks notes about myself and that's problematic. Because I have no idea how to do that :3. According to my friends this meme explains it best

But as expected writing is my hobby (go figure) and beyond that is probably video games. A lot and a ALOT of RPGS, Fighting Games, and whatever is out there to get my serotonin running. Currently I'm down in the mines playing Granblue Fantasy Relink, Granblue Fantasy Versus Rising (are you noticing the trend), and dabbling in some other ventures (Gundam Versus if you want to know how niche my tastes get. I also collect plushes!

in line with my crippling Granblue addiction music CD's!

But yeah if it wasn't obvious I love talking about literally anything. My interests are kinda all over the place but most people can vouch that I'm a damn good listener. And that includes plotting even if my mentality usually is just a "fuck it we ball one" rather than really planning it out (I do love planning too! But sometimes you really just gotta go off and never stop). If you don't find me here on NJ's Blog well don't worry I have like 11 more as well. Featuring...

Morgan le Fay (Fate) (@talesofrainandstars_

Melusine (Also from Fate) (@robustdragonheart)

Nian (Arknights) (@unfetteredfreedom)

Mika ("Archive that may be Blue") (@witchoftrinity)

Architect (Girls' Frontline) (@explosivedesire)

Fenie (Granblue Fantasy) (@sourceoftheflame)

Miyoi Okunoda (Touhou) (@geidonteispostergirl)

"Sparkle" (Honkai Stars Rails) @sparklingsplendor

Hiroi Kikuri (Bocchi the Rock) (@sickhackbassist)

My OC Protag from Armored Core 6 "Raven" (@echoesofcoral)

Beyond that I'm always in Discord if you just want to chat or anything else. You can also find me on twitter where I rant about the most craziest things and cry when my favorites in gachas actually get content (it doesn't happen often). Other then that I have no idea how to end this so here's a picture of my dog

anyway I think I've ranted long enough. Looking forward to talking with everyone more and anyone else who is willing to put up with my muses!"

[hay1ock]

Only Friends Episode 7 😮😮😮😮😮

Kicking off the second half of the series with a bang. I loved how things got shaken up. I have no idea where we’re headed.

I’m writing this as if I haven’t seen the preview for Episode 8. So I won’t be judging Ray for something he hasn’t done yet, nor that I have full context for at this point in time. It doesn’t look good, but then other preview scenes in the past haven’t played out how they were presented. So as a heads up, in case this ramble isn’t for you, from an Episode 7 POV I don’t feel Ray’s done anything wrong (re. Sand). In a way Sand was the architect of his own hurt. Plus, not going to lie, seeing all the negative commentary specifically aimed at Ray (regardless of how people feel about the RayMew pairing) and how quickly some wanted to tear him down. It didn’t feel good or deserved.

So, with that said, this episode picked up where we left off with Sand in pursuit of Ray. I was scared that Sand chasing after him would be what would cause Ray (and maybe even Sand) to crash, but as it was he was a little way behind as he pulled up on the scene post-crash. I guess Ray swerved to avoid a vehicle based on the lights in his face that didn’t stop/see the accident happen, leaving Ray in his car after hitting the side of the tunnel? - so he wasn’t wrong, without Sand showing up, who knows how long he might have been there before anyone else passed by. I’m glad no one got seriously hurt (at least for now), be it Ray himself or an innocent bystander. If he hit someone I have no idea how he would handle it, and then of course anybody else who played even a tiny part in what went down that evening. Sadly, it wasn’t enough of a wake up call to see Ray reflect on his behaviour or his problems with alcohol as we see he was already reaching for a drink once back home.

The scene between Ray and Sand in the hospital was sweet, in a gentle scolding kind of way. Sand doesn’t overlook that what Ray did was wrong and dangerous, but I appreciated his firm but calm tone, particularly in light of how Ray’s dad barrelled in soon after.

Why did you do it? - I imagine that would be something hard for Ray to admit. He’d played the bad guy, blown apart all his friendships and when Sand wasn’t able to tell him they were anything but ‘fellow human beings’, I really think he didn’t care what happened to him, maybe even willing to seek out a way to put an end to himself if not for the accident stopping him right then. There are a lot of what-ifs, of conversations that could have changed how the evening played out (Looking at both Mew and Sand here).

Learn to love yourself - it can be hard to do, and even more so if there’s nobody in your life who loves you, to disprove you’re unloveable. I wish Sand could have dared to tell Ray how he feels about him. Would it have stopped him getting in the car? Would it have changed anything later in this episode?

Declaring himself Ray’s emergency staff, though it implies caring, I don’t feel like Ray is capable of making the leap to Sand having genuine feelings for him. After all, Mew was his emergency contract and up to this point had never gone beyond friends no matter what Ray had dared to hope for. Similarly, in the bathroom scene later on, Sand does say he cares about Ray, but continues, adding how his dad does too. If Sand is putting those two things forward as equal, then I can see why Ray, though clearly attracted to Sand, happy to flirt and tease, wouldn’t think there was more to it and Sand’s feelings were still firmly in the lust not love, nothing beyond friends bubble.

I have mixed feelings about Ray’s dad. I’d like to think he cares but sucks at showing it. Yes, Ray needs to be called out for his actions and drink driving, but the fact he didn’t once ask if he was okay, or something along the lines of yep, you screwed up but thank god you’re okay, was disappointing but expected considering the only involvement he seems to have in his son’s life involves his wallet. I do wonder what he has asked Sand to do. Was it something as simple and along the lines of keep an eye on Ray and something that encouraged Sand to go round with his juice and detox plan? Or is it something more serious and that will be seen as a betrayal once Ray finds out?

The scene between them at Ray’s home in the living room was cute. I do like that Ray gives in to Sand (as we saw in Episode 5 and here saying he’d drink the juice) just as much as he uses his ‘na’ to get his way with Sand. Sand is capable of putting his foot down if he didn’t want to help Ray, it just seems like he doesn’t want to quite so much these days, blurring even more his already blurry boundaries and feelings. The way he carefully undressed Ray, seeing the seatbelt mark of what Ray had ended up doing to himself, and the part he had played in the events of that night. I’m glad he apologised and would have liked to have seen on screen whether Ray apologised in return along with thanking him for saving him yet again (if only Ray’s dad hadn’t shown up while they were talking). I will say the shaving scene tickled me. I tried to focus on what they were saying and the moment rather than Sand moving shaving cream about. Also, sitting in the bath THEN running the water? Brrrr cold booty.

I liked the little talk about Sand’s situation regarding his father. I can’t decide if we’ll see him, and though it might be fun to have him related to someone (Boston’s dad inferred he too was a bit of a player) I think that would be one twist and connection too many among this group. So if he does show up I hope it’s someone very much away from the group, but also, I wouldn’t mind if nothing came of it. It might just be a narrative about how family can be anything - Mew with his two mums, Sand with his single parent family, Ray as good as choosing his family in Mew and friends.

Also from their conversation, I would probably consider Ray an alcoholic. We’ve seen him drinking in the day - at Yo’s, the flask he was carrying (again), even when Sand arrived this episode - it’s probably at a degree he can still function, then drinking in excess when out or under extra stress. I would agree he is in a way addicted to Sand - as a distraction, for comfort and support, in a way his own little safe space even more so than Mew who is very blunt, almost accusatory, assuming the worst - even this episode, even though he knew Ray went off in a state at the party and none of his calls were being picked up, he just figured he was drunk and asleep. I know shit went down but still… maybe check in on him?

I’m scared but excited to see where Ray and Sand go from here considering how the episode ends. And yes, I have a heart and it broke for Sand. I just can’t make Ray out to be the bad guy in this situation - that boy deserves a bit of happiness even though I know it will be fleeting. Sand likes Ray. He just has his own baggage that won’t allow him to put it out there in the world. Better to keep it to himself. The run in with Boston had already set them back a number of steps and I’ve mentioned how in the other episodes Sand continually draws the line between them, they’re friends, it’s lustful behaviour/moments between them not love. If he had confessed to Ray… I wonder how things would have gone regarding Mew? Would the conversation between Ray and Mew have steered in a slightly different direction?

And so Ray and Mew. I’m actually fascinated to see where these two go. I’m pretty sure it will be short-lived. Ray has put Mew on this pedestal, adores him. We know how much Mew means to him. I believe Ray loves him, but whether that is the same as being in love with him, there is only really one way to find out. So I support Ray and Mew testing the limits of what their relationship is or could be. Though gotta say, when Mew kind of led the conversation in that direction, I was surprised. I had felt Ray had kind of taken a couple of steps in making peace with his love of Mew. Granted his feelings can’t just be switched off but I had hoped maybe something more could evolve between him and Sand. But this moment with Mew brought those feelings straight back to the surface.

Now, before the series started, I had considered whether Mew would be the kind of person to use Ray in some sort of way against Top, and end up breaking his heart and discard him. Once I watched the first 2 episode, I kind of withdrew that thought. Mew genuinely seemed to love Ray as a friend and so I didn’t think he would hurt him in that way. I still don’t. Instead, he is using him to escape his pain, not for revenge. As he said, Ray is always there for him, has never hurt him. Sometimes, relationships don’t start out with fireworks and heart flutters. Friendship can also be a good basis. I just feel, the Mew that has suggested he could try to love Ray is not the same Mew who Ray fell in love with. For Ray, Mew was someone who could lift him up, saved him when he was at his lowest point. The Mew of now, won’t be lifting Ray up, he’s sinking down into Ray’s world. They’ll be a bad influence on each other.

I have to say, seeing them dancing together at the end of the episode, I fully support them trying. I can’t quite decide if it’s just drunk friends grinding up against each other and testing the waters or if they did decide to properly give it a try just yet. Obviously, before Mew had his lists and took time to get to know Top. He already knows Ray, and waiting didn’t lead to anything good in the end last time so maybe he’s all in already. I guess we’ll see next episode where they’re at. I guess one other possibility is them pretending and playing games with Top, but Ray was being very open and genuine so I hope that won’t be the case, especially as we know there is someone out there who is able to love him back. *Bangs Ray’s and Sand’s heads together* Stop being so stubborn and have a proper chat and maybe a kiss lol.

Mew and Top. Wow.

I do feel some sympathy for Top. He’s never going to be my favourite character, in fact, I don’t know if he’ll ever leave the bottom spot among the 6 main boys, but I did feel bad for him this episode - apart from his stupid remark about not caring if Mew and Ray had slept together or not ����‍♀️. You nearly had me Top lol. I don’t know what would have happened if he’d confessed sooner. He had genuinely caught feelings for Mew and was trying to change himself for the better (though I still think he was trying to also change Mew and being somewhat possessive). We see him in isolation, frustrated and upset. When Mew burned that page in front of him you could feel how much that hurt. The scribbling in the book. I wonder who he was considering calling. Maybe Mew but also maybe someone like Beam. I don’t think his guilt and being dumped will have helped his insomnia any.

I feel like he should give Mew some space, putting himself in Mew’s orbit while the wound is very much fresh is only going to make Mew defensive and angrier. The scene where the friends group had decided to put their personal issues aside for the sake of the hostel project and then in walks Top, the biggest personal issue of them all. My face was very much like Cheum’s 🙄.

How on Earth he’ll win Mew back round based on Mew’s shift in character, I have no idea. Will they get back together before the end of the series? BL couple logic would suggest yes, but I have no idea how many flaming hoops he’d need to jump through to convince Mew to give him a second chance. I’ve never been cheated on (at least not that I’m aware of lol) so I’m not really sure what I’d do in Mew’s position, what it would take for me to forgive a partner. The trust would be hard to get back. And if Boston still gravitates around them… hmmm. Again, I guess we’ll see if there is a way back for them.

Really enjoyed Mew this episode. Was nice to see things switched up, his manipulation of Nick and Gap to get the recording of Boston. The way he was sat there just casually chatting to Boston’s dad about Boston’s short film. I am glad he didn’t drag Boston’s dad into things and release the video (though I’m guessing it’s still on his phone and looked like he only copied the file from Gap’s computer). It will be interesting to see where his character goes next. I feel he’s spiralling and I’m kind of scared who he’s going to drag down with him in the end.

Boston is a piece of work. I enjoy watching him give zero fucks about what he’s done. The scene by the pool, even then he’s still poking at Ray about Mew, showed no remorse for his actions and actually came off as an even bigger asshole. It was great to see him get kicked into the pool and Mew jump in after him. Legit felt as if Mew would have held him under given a chance. Obviously, wishing death on Boston isn’t exactly okay, but I can understand the sentiment in the heat of the moment. I don’t know if Boston has an apologetic bone in his body. Even when Mew came to his house with Gap’s recording, he begged but I still didn’t hear anything close to a sorry. I couldn’t decide if he was saying that his dad didn’t know he was sleeping around or sleeping with men. I mean his dad was definitely supporting his player ways when Nick was round there so…

Speaking of Nick. As soon as Top mentioned the recording in the car and Boston’s little cogs started whirring it was clear Nick wasn’t going to have a great day. He shouldn’t have bugged the car in the first place, and well, he was right, Boston shouldn’t have fucked his friend’s boyfriend either lol. Despite his declaration of him being as nasty as Boston, I’m still waiting to see that. They’d fallen into this strange holding pattern where Nick was getting the attention he desired, but as far as we know Boston was never looking to take it anywhere properly. He’d been scared into monogamy by Gap and was fond of Nick, but whether he was anywhere close to developing feelings… So yeah, Nick didn’t need to be nasty up to this point so maybe we’ll see him play dirty to get back with rather than at Boston. He told Mew about Gap, but I feel that he was a sad little puppy who was easily talked into it. Honestly, I feel bad for him. Nick knows what Boston is like but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and damn that boy is stupidly in love. My heart broke as Boston laid into him and told him he never loved him.

I like that he didn’t throw Sand under the bus concerning the recording and how Ray had gotten hold of it. Though if Boston thinks really hard about it, I’m sure he can make a logical guess. The scene between Nick and Sand back at the apartment was both heartbreaking and heartwarming as Sand hugged him, apologised for abusing his trust. His need for revenge on Top blinded him to everything else, including the fallout for others and himself.

Overall, I loved this episode and the preview has got me desperate to know the context and how we reach some of those situations and the dialogue.

It really has been an incredible show so far.

Previous ramblings.

Episode One | Episode Two | Episode Three | Episode Four | Episode Five | Episode Six

[springjjjj]

In case of out of the box theories, please spread the word THAT:

1. This is NOT a ghost/horror story

2. This is a REINCARNATION & TIME TRAVEL plot

3. This is a HAPPY ENDING 100% unless— (explanation below but it is going to be a huge spoiler. Read at your own risk)

Gif by @earthpirapat

I warned you! ⚠️

If we remember the 1st trailer, that was a huge spoiler from the whole Part 1 of the whole novel. As we can see, Jom is from the present time. He is an architect sent to Chiang Mai to modify an old house where he also had his accident. He next woke up to 1927 which was Khun Yai's era (I won't discuss which era they live, we will watch the series together) in Chiang Mai BUT after the wormhole is done with his time in 1928, instead of going home, he will be traveling to another time, Ayutthaya period (beginning of Part 2), where Khun Yai also exists but as a commander and a different person than Khun Yai in Part 1. Part 2 will also explain Khun Yai's behavior that could not be explained in Part 1.

To clarify, we have 3 eras. Present, 1927-1928 & Ayutthaya period where we (and Jom) will be witnessing the different Khun Yai's in each lifetime.

Now, this is a happy ending because after Part 2, Jom will be sent home to the present time, there will still be a little bit more things that will happen to resolve everything in the present time but once he goes back, he will be meeting another version of Khun Yai who has the heart of Part 1 & Part 2 towards Jom. So don't worry, it will not be like your Scarlet Heart, Mr. Queen or Rooftop Prince and whatever is in your mind.

What's the possibility why it won't be a happy ending?

Obviously, it will have a happy ending 100% based on the novel but the only reason why it probably won't is because there's a huge possibility that Deehup is preparing a S2 for this series.

Analyzing P'Boss explanation, it looks like they will be ending the series only with Part 1 and will return with Part 2. Since he mentioned the older era will be an easter egg, there's a chance that they won't be covering it for this season. Besides, 12 episodes doesn't look like it's enough to cover the whole 2 parts of the story. So we might expect that the ending of the series will be a cliffhanger but that's only my analysis based off P'Boss interview, you may interpret it based on your own belief.

In my opinion, I do hope we'll get 2 seasons. Part 2's quite complicated, it will need a lot of preparation.

Among Deehup's works, I read Lovely Writer & I Feel You Linger In The Air (still reading 🥲). I would really enjoy discussing the novels (LWTS & KaoUp too). I'm also watching Step by Step, sadly there's no novel translation yet. In the future I might keep talking about IFYLITA here.

[blackjackkent]

I was right - Hope got the whole crew in peasant gear.

I like that she made Hector and Karlach match and Jaheira and Minsc match. Very apropos. The leather vest thing that Hector and Karlach are wearing actually doesn't look half bad.

The room up ahead is the one to which Raphael brought the group when we first met him, and it's, uh, not looking so hot now.

The table is still heaped high with plates, but the food on it is spoiled and rotten, swarming with flies. Several of the chairs are broken or tipped over, and several of them hold skeletons that have clearly been here for some time.

"This place is all entrances and no exits..." mumbles a drifting spirit passing through the room.

An animated skeleton labeled "Infernal Mason" is sweeping up the floor, although I'm not sure it's having much effect.

"Another sorry soul come to wander these halls," it growls as Hector approaches. "What do you seek?"

"I need to find the Archive," Hector says carefully.

"I cannot help you," the skeleton rumbles. "This is not my home, even if I can never leave."

Hector relaxes slightly. This creature seems unthreatening, if not particularly helpful. "What ties you to the House of Hope?" he asks.

"I was an architect in life," the skeleton says with an air of regretful nostalgia. "A builder of tombs and temples, but mostly of towers. My proudest work reached for the stars and sought to dry Selune's tears. It was a monument to life and to virtue, and a happy home to my master for many years."

[SELUNE] "A life with Our Lady of Silver is a good life," Hector agrees gravely.

"It was a good life," the revenant says sadly. "I only wish our Lady had not averted her gaze from us. When tragedy came, my master fell into darkness and despair. He marshalled a great army to ruin the world and bring all into shadow. I could not let it happen."

Hector's head lifts and his eyes widen slightly. A great army...to bring all into shadow... This creature is speaking of Ketheric Thorm. Of the Moonrise Towers, those architectural wonders that became the home to abomination.

"I sought out the devil Raphael and signed an infernal pact with him," says the architect. "He promised to destroy my master's army, and I promised him my soul in return. The devil was true to his word. Fiends slaughtered my master's forces, but he endured somehow, and blighted the land..."

Hector nods slowly. Yes - he knows this tale, or of it at least. Halsin has spoken of the original battle against Ketheric a century ago, and Raphael has made reference more than once to having had a hand in the drama and misery of the shadow-cursed lands.

He glances at Jaheira, who is watching the undead creature with an intense, unblinking gaze. When she doesn't speak, he does instead, asking, "This is a familiar tale. Are you the architect of Moonrise Towers?"

"You know my work?" The architect laughs, a hacking, rasping sound. "Oh, I am glad that it endures... Perhaps you also have the misfortune of knowing my master - General Ketheric Thorm."

Hector smiles humorlessly. Yes, he knows Ketheric. He knows the terrible thing that Thorm became after this creature's actions, too. But it would ease no suffering to tell any of that, so he holds his tongue. All he says is, "Ketheric is no more. I killed him."

"Then all came to pass as I had hoped," the architect says eagerly, and Hector can see its bearing straighten with some new hope, "though a century too late for my family and friends. Your actions may have justified the price of my soul. I thank you." A slight pause, and then, "Tell me - what became of my pride? What became of Moonrise Towers?"

Hector considers his answer for a moment before answering. He dislikes deception, and yet to tell truly of the state of the Towers when he left them would be cruel, for the place was full of mutated flesh and dead bodies and blood, a blasphemy against the goddess to which it was originally raised.

"The tower still stands," he finally says slowly. "But it is a hollow place now."

The skeleton nods slowly in acknowledgement. "Perhaps one day, new life will find it," it rasps softly. "Thank you." It points down the corridor. "Now go. Finish your business here, and leave while you can."

[karume-selfshipper]

Tides that Bind: Sidon's Fan Club

Gossip girls gossiping, most under the cut.

Toting so much ore around the Domain was not a fun task, yet Ledo had to lug it around. As the youngest of the architects, he was the one tasked with heavier jobs. That didn’t make it any less difficult, especially with how much he was carrying.

“Oh, but Princess Selatoh has been acting a little strangely don’t you think?”

Ledo paused in his attempt to move the ore as Tula’s voice reached his ears. He had little idea that Tula, Tona, and Laruta also spoke of Selatoh as well. Though he had to admit that on the rare occasion he had overheard others who fawned over Selatoh also discuss Sidon. Perhaps that’s all this was.

“In what ways? I’ve only ever noticed her and Prince Sidon arguing lately.” Tona answered, “Or is this about her fan club?”

“A little of both actually.” Tula sounded absolutely delighted to spill the tea, “Apparently her arguments with Prince Sidon have been rather good for her love life.”

Ledo found himself listening intently, the ore at his feet all but forgotten.

“She has been spending quite a bit of time with Tottika and Ledo lately. Those two seem to be her favorites by far.”

“Oh right!” Tona clapped happily, “I really don’t think Tottika has much of a chance sadly. He seems a little too meek, especially around Princess Selatoh.”

“Well, that could be good for her. Princess Selatoh seems like she enjoys quiet and calm people. Tottika also trains with her, so just think about how much he might be able to just get physically closer.”

Tona’s loud hum helped ease Ledo’s mind, “Yeah, but the hours Princess Selatoh spends posing for Ledo is just as capable of getting close like that. And Ledo has actual quiet time where he can talk with Princess Selatoh so she probably can confide in him more.”

“I suppose that is true, but you know that their colors really don’t go together. Setting their personalities aside for aesthetics, Ledo’s shade of green does NOT go with Princess  Selatoh’s shade of red, or her navy blue markings. He just seems so vibrant compared to her.”

“But that contrast!” Tona hopped up and down, “Its much better than Tottika’s pitch black. Like, Tottika looks more like her shadow than her partner.”

“Okay, but that totally fits the stern royal and her loyal guard, don’t you think?”

“But how can you not see the perfection of a royal and her artist? Or maybe it would be the artist and his royal muse? Either way they would be so much better together.”

“Oh c’mon! Tottika is always around Princess Selatoh.” Tula groaned, “The Princess and her loyal guardsman who keeps her safe from everything, who is her perfect safe space, is the much better love story than the artist who always watches his muse from afar. Being forced into the same room for hours on end doing something like sculpting is not romantic.”

“Training for hours on end isn’t romantic either!” Tona huffed, “They just have their weapons and fight with each other until told to stop.”

Ledo couldn’t stand here listening to this anymore. His head flooded with these weird thoughts. Should he be worried about Tottika being a romantic rival? Did he really have a shot with Selatoh? It was all too confusing for the hopeless romantic.

[gakkubi]

sorry to pop up on you kinda just wanted to check in. I was writing something about Konan and thought about you--i hope school is finishing up for you as well as possible and that you are still healing and getting healthier. Keep doing you bro 🌸

hellooooo G-P my dear! oh how I missed talking to you!

I wonder if you've finished writing about Konan yet? If so, can you link me where I can read it? lol I'm so interested!

I'm sorry for the time it took me to answer this message, as well as missing the previous. I'm finally graduated 🤩 Which means I am officialy an architect and urbanist!

However, it did come at a great personal cost. Most of my 2023 was spent either working non-stop on college or the studio I'm employed in - and, as crazy as it sounds, I spent the months of July/August sleeping less than 4hrs a night, every night. Sadly, not sleeping is normalized among architects. 😵‍💫 After I graduated in September, I found I couldn't stop sleeping and being in bed at every opportunity I got; which, of course, was only natural, given how many days I powered through without any sleep whatsoever lol. What I took a bit too long to realize was that all the stress threw me right into a depressive episode, of which now I'm just starting to get out of. Who knew being under extreme leves of mental distress and physical pain could have serious side effects? lol! Moral of the story: SLEEP. It's good for da brains.

I'm now on some meds for anxiety (not depression per-se, as the episode was a consequence and not a cause), and I'm feeling better. Admittedly I was terrified at first, wondering if my personality would change and all that, but I found now I have more energy to overthink the things that bring me joy (like Naruto), and that I've significantly less f*cks to give about things that make me stressed. lol 😂

I've thought a lot about you all this time, I wonder how you are, if you've partaken in more swimming competitions, and if you've been writing. I'll take a look at your Ao3 as soon as I can. (: 🥰

In time, I'll organize myself to be back, as I have a lot of drawings and fanfics to finish, as well as other projects to start. For the time, I'll attach a some sections of my final project; it is a building design to house and support patients that travel long distances to attend the hospital in my city. The motherf*cker almost killed me, but I am proud of it regardless. lol

I'm happy to (slowly) be back. I've missed you and all of this immensly. 🌻

[kobedivision]

The sun was setting, casting a warm glow through the windows of Ren Nakashima's home. It was a rare day off from the relentless pace of his music career, and he was savoring every moment. With his guitar in hand, he was lost in a melody, the notes flowing effortlessly from his fingers. His headphones were a barrier to the world, allowing him to immerse himself in the music.

His tranquility was interrupted when Ayano, his younger sister, appeared at the doorway. Her presence was a gentle reminder that even on his birthday, the world wouldn’t pause for long. A flicker of annoyance crossed his face, but it melted away when she mentioned a visitor at the door.

Ren set his guitar aside and made his way to the entrance. He expected to find a fan or perhaps a courier with yet another gift. Instead, a delivery person handed him a small, unassuming package with a letter attached. The simplicity of it piqued his interest.

After a polite nod to the delivery person, Ren closed the door and examined the package. It was just a single CD with no cover art, just a handwritten label. The letter, however, bore the unmistakable handwriting of Kai Quinlan, his friend and fellow musician, which read:

"Dear Vox,

Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, my fellow architect of sound. Today's not just another day; it’s a celebration of your journey, your music, and the indelible mark you’ve left on the hearts of many.

I regret that I can't be there to hand you this letter and see the surprise on your face, but the decks call my name, and the airwaves await the touch of DJ Veenyle. The studio's been my home away from home, ensuring our Collaboration Project hits just the right notes when it drops.

The track we've been refining is finally complete. It's a wild ride of beats and bars, a testament to the late nights and the relentless spirit that defines you. It's got your signature all over it, and I’m proud to have been a part of its creation.

I trust that the one who's captured your heart will hear the truth in your lyrics and understand the depth of your devotion. Music is our language, and through it, you’ve spoken volumes.

Looking forward to our next studio session, where the magic happens and the music comes alive. Until then, keep the fire burning and the verses flowing.

Happy birthday, once again.

With respect and beats,

Wolf of Shadows"

With a newfound eagerness, Ren returned to his room. He placed the CD into his radio, the anticipation building as the player whirred to life. As the first beats of the track filled the room, Ren closed his eyes, letting the music envelop him...

“A-ayano, shhh! Nii-san’s busy!”

“But I wanna see what Wolfie got him!”

Ryōhei winced as Ayano stomped her foot and pouted, the older boy briefly glancing back only to see his older brother still nodding his head to whatever beat Mr. Quinlan had sent him much to his relief, he turned back to his little sister only to find her trying to walk up to him, with a choked yelped, Ryōhei pulled her back and entrapped her in his skinny arms, Ayano growled and squirmed.

“Let me go! Let me go!”

“Ayano please! Nii-san will be v-very mad if you interrupt h-him, you d-don’t want to m-make him mad, d-do you..?”

Ayano squirmed a little bit before settling down. “No…”

Ryōhei sighed and slowly let her go, Ayano crossed her arms and pouted sadly and Ryōhei, despite how much Ayano teases and torments him, she was still his little sister and he doesn’t like to see her sad, he kneeled down to her level and took her hands in his. “I-It’s okay, maybe when Nii-san is finished, w-we can ask him t-to take us to that new ice cream place…I-I heard that they had strawberry-“

“STRAWBERRY SHERBET?!” Ayano’s ruby eyes sparked and Ryōhei once again winced at the volume, a chuckle caught both of their attention and they turned to see their big brother Ren smirking down at them, Ryōhei wanted to sink into the floor, so much for keeping quiet.

Thank you for the gift!

[nerendus]

I've seen a lot of posts and Youtube comments that say otherwise, but I love how the original Subnautica, how I see it at least, does show sympathy towards the Architects.

Yes, at the beginning of the game during your first encounter they are portrayed as being imposing and threatening—destroying your once only shot of getting off the planet (which you should've stayed on) and then intercepting a broadcast of their enforcers saying that they are going to kill you.

But as you learn of Khaara and the quarantine that has been imposed for several hundred years, walking through the subsequent alien facilities and seeing not a soul of those who built them, it feels...sad and incredibly lonely. I can't help but always feel bad for those who wouldn't have made it to the sanctuaries to upload their consciousness, as well as those who did but will never wake up—we see Al-An in Below Zero, but no others. Did they silently return home? Or are they still sleeping, doomed to never know they could come back to life?

And the game sort of goes out if its way to...quietly suggest they are not so different from humans when it comes to behaviour. They are significantly more intelligent and advanced, yes, but the glass casings in the facilities tells us of their culture that seems to hold a lot in traditions that most Sci-fi series wouldn't give to super intelligent extraterrestrials. They study other less developed species, similar to how humans study animals—which many in those fields do it out of respect. They had safe havens for their kind to retreat to when they became overwhelmed with the likely possibility of their death.

The violence they are shown committing is...not at all beyond what humans would do if they were in that situation. The Architects were faced with total annihilation, and they set up a weapon to keep other societies from facing what they faced. And if they survived the initial attack, their quarantine enforcers will spare those who manage to stay healthy, and whilst most definitely inflicting pain, I doubt the Warpers would go out of their way for a sadistic treatment for the infected.

I've always wondered why the planet would be under a strict quarantine yet there would be no broadcast in outer space alerting travelers of the dangers. And I have two theories why that might be the case: they either did have a broadcast and for whatever reason it no longer plays in orbit or, as the Architects have never seemingly made direct contact with humans before, they didn't send out a broadcast in hopes that others would see the planet as a useless drop of water—as an alien broadcast would certainly arouse curiosity, and explorers would head down there despite the warnings.

I feel that much of the distaste towards the Architects comes from not their violence but their treatment of the Sea Emperor Leviathan. Now, admittedly, I am deeply in love with both of them, but sadly, I am more of an Architect simper, so I naturally have to side with them when it comes to this argument.

But again, this is a species on the brink of total extinction and the loss of a culture far older than the entirety of humanity, it only makes sense that they would take drastic measures in attempt to save themselves.

One thing that I've recently realised, is that when the Sea Emperor says that they could not hear her and her pleas to release her children, I first assumed that it meant that they heard what she said and just disregarded it. But as a species that is highly intelligent, that doesn't exactly add up. They wanted her children to hatch and to release the enzyme that would save them and the planet, and if they were going to all go into hiding within data pods until the planet was healed, it logically only makes sense to let her children leave so they go spread the cure around. So, I think that is meant to be taken literally. Despite their translators and own telepathy, the Architects were incompatible with the Sea Emperor, and thus subjected both of them to a lifetime of misery and loneliness.

Anyways, in case it wasn't obvious, I'm in love with the Architects and the stupid lore of this stupid game set on a stupid water planet and I wrote way too much for what its worth. I'll probably post something like this again with slightly different wording in a few years as this is the only thing in my mind.

[girl4music]

Love albums with tracks that bleed into each other as if it’s just one long song - a continuous process. Story.

They mostly don’t exist anymore sadly because of digital streaming. But the prog rock scene still keep to that. You know because prog isn’t very mainstream.

Just enjoying a bit of Dream Theater or Tool every now and again reminds you how could albums used to be where they put instrumentation and production first.

Pink Floyd and Marillion are more lenient.

Or Genesis. Damn. Love a good Genesis album.

Or Pain Of Salvation…. God.

Still think Remedy Lane is an absolute motherfucking masterpiece. Definitely need to revisit that with these hifi headphones and TIDAL’s exceptional sound quality. Anybody got a favourite prog rock/metal albums? I’d love to discover some new prog music.

It’s not prog rock but I’m still waiting for Spiritbox to drop their full length sophomore. Need something to tie me over until they finally release what I’m sure is going to be just as good as Eternal Blue. I’ve been absolutely obsessed with that album since I heard it.

It’s just so good. It’s like the Architects meets Tesseract. Yeah, if you love Metal and you haven’t heard that one yet… I cannot recommend it enough.

[warhammer-fantasy-muses]

❝ you’re plotting something, aren’t you? come on then - out with it. ❞

Khax at Locephax? Idk lmao

The stretched-out face of the Slaaneshi-turned-shield says nothing at first, not that it physically could with being stretched so taut over Valkia's shield, but at once a voice cackles throughout the Architect's mind.

"Gha-hahahaha~! Ooh, is the little traitor CURIOUS, eh? Curiosity killed the cat, you know~"

He says it with full acknowledgment of Kha'xanzyr's recent physical changes.

"But, if you choose to be so nosy-- no. Not yet, at least~ A predator's most valued asset is PATIENCE, after all! You of all your brutish brothers should know that! No, right now is not a good time... the Gore-Bride is sadly too occupied with her boorish 'husband'... but, devotion to a god as simplistic as Kharneth WILL have its limits..."

"He will fail to please her, eventually... or perhaps it will be the other way around? Regardless... when that happens... Valkia WILL be mine~!"

@skxrbrand

[zorkaya-moved]

“  don’t you understand? i love you. and nothing you’ve done, no matter how much of a monster you think you are, is gonna change that.  ” from :) kaveh :)

@avaere

It feels like this is something that happened before, but there is dissatisfaction with his words. She does not deny her logical viewpoint of herself from the point of view of a normal citizen of Teyvat, but it’s not something she thought Kaveh would speak of. He is acutely aware of her hidden sides, but she is doing her best to open up because she promised to him to be more honest. He asked to be let in and she does so, bit by bit by trying to open up, expose sides others will never be privy to. He does not see the faux happiness and sunshine she represents before the scholars and citizens of Sumeru or the public of Teyvat. She is known as a sunflower, as a woman with a stubborn streak, bright mind and even brighter potential to help others without asking much in return. Sumeru knows her as the light, as the guiding star, as someone who keeps their happiness and their future bright. A reputation built over more than ten years, hearts won over by lives saved and help offered when it was needed so much as if she knew where issues would start. Beloved silver flower of Sumeru who may show her thorns if someone disturbs or insults her experiments, her job, and the passions she clearly showcases in public. 

But Kaveh is allowed to see what happens behind closed doors. He is allowed to step into the house that is her internal world, he is allowed to catch glimpses of reality that is not so bright and sunshine-like. He now sees the sharpness of her tongue, the subtle cold and analytical looks, he knows of her ability to read people and her ability to turn the conversation favorably for herself. The architect is allowed to hear more honest words about those they are surrounded by, the way she may rationally explain why the present rule of Sumeru is not exactly beneficial for the current generation and how she denies being a Sage solely because it will limit her opportunities as a scholar. Kaveh is allowed to see past comedy, he is allowed to learn and know the truth behind Zarina Sokolova. 

And yet, as much as he is allowed and let in, slowly studying everything that she is… The words spoken by Kaveh suddenly strike her as odd. The internal denial of her natural skills in reading people makes the metaphorical cup of concern spill, exposing the growing concerns that continue to be ignored to ensure that Kaveh himself will open up. As love meant trusting the other person with everything you are, the learning slope was supposed to be tough, but Sokolova slowly started to notice more and more about her beloved that started to concern her. The switch of topics, the denial of care, the mentions of injuries she hasn’t heard of from Kaveh himself, and more instances that caused her to start thinking on how to properly approach this topic with her beloved as to not push him into anything. 

However, the gentleness she usually would attempt to use to approach certain sensitive subjects would be gone for this very moment. Perhaps, the word ‘monster’ caught her attention or perhaps her speaking with several people prior to their meeting today caused her to finally allow herself just a tinge of analysis. Not like she never analyzed Kaveh before, on the contrary: she learned his behavior, she studied his expressions, she memorized his body language, and she knew exactly when he’d wish to be left alone or when he’d need her by his side. Reading him now wasn’t hard, but solely because of that she did not allow herself anything more… breaching. As she did not have the same emotional output as the architect did, she approached his mental and emotional state with more caution because of care. Not that he was fragile, but certain topics may be fragile to him while not being to her. It was a natural deduction, but sadly… Her straightforwardness won today. 

“I am well-aware but I’m having doubts you understand that it’s a two-way street, Kaveh,” she tilts her head to the side, not hiding away her confusion. There is no gentleness in her gaze nor is there the tenderness she usually gazes upon him when she tries to gently offer him a listening ear. Zarina doesn’t enjoy arguments with the architect, knowing full well that he sees the world differently from her and vice versa. It does take time to understand his point of view, but when she lacks information, it becomes harder to comprehend. Manipulation is easy because there is no care, but genuine attempts to understand his point of view clashes too hard with her survival of the fittest mindset. “It’s not all about one person, it’s about us learning more about each other, relying on each other, and supporting each other. However, it seems you…”

Suddenly, she snaps out of her deductive state, signing out and closing her eyes to massage her temple for a second. The silverette understands he must have his reasons, but she hopes to at least hear about his well-being in an honest manner. At least, that. Ranting, venting, screaming, crying. It doesn’t matter how negative, but he does and should and must not always show her the positive, he must let her see the negatives as well. Just as she tries, step by step. It’s not something she ever wishes to push him into or force him into, which is why Zarina finds herself letting out a soft groan while trying to word what she means in a better way instead of coldly analytical. 

Kaveh said it to be supportive, but that is very much the issue as she comes to a crashing understanding. He doesn’t seem to care enough about himself as he cares about her, and it makes her think she does the same without yet knowing just how indulgent and selfish she is. He gets glimpses, the richness of alcohol, the outfits, the people who speak with her, the accessories, the parties, the attention she obviously basks in now that he had the time to learn of her extravagant behavior for the sake of entertainment. He learns, but will she ever learn more about him? What will he let her see?

Another sigh, Sokolova opens her eyes to study her lover’s face. It makes her wonder if he worries he’ll burden her. Such kind-hearted souls like him always worry about that. But the difference is that others do not matter, but he does. She’s always been told that love is a two-way street where love persists despite, but there is a flicker of concern in those golden orbs while looking at the architect. So now, Zarina reaches out to take his hand in hers. A physical contact to prove she is here and she is not going away, but also to keep him here. (Don’t run away from me.)

“Do you understand that I, too, will love you no matter what, Kaveh?” Her voice adapts that gentle note as well, gaze returning to soften the molten gold and cool it off so it won’t be so brightly shining. “Do you think I expect you to be perfect? I do not, you can't be perfect. There is no perfect human in Teyvat. Anyone who seems perfect is simply good at hiding their negative traits, but we all possess them because we are humans.”

Kaveh seems to never listen to others when they show worry. Not only that, she rarely hears from him where he got his bruises or cuts until she points it out. Why not tell something so important she so obviously can assist with, monitor and check in? His girlfriend is a doctor, but she also does not wish to pressure him which now starts to make her relook at her approach. Perhaps, she was incorrect in ignoring her own deductions and studies. The architect is the only one who knows how he feels and what his pain points are. Maybe being too cautious might actually harm them in the long run, but she still approaches with clear concern and love for him. 

“I think you are good at hiding what truly hurts you or worries you,” she confesses, not looking away from his face to see what subtle expression changes will appear. “I think you have things you fear telling me because there is worry that my perception of you will change in a negative way.”

Another silence to linger, to study, to wait out a moment to let those words sit there and become another weight to her attempts at showing him it’s alright… to someday open up. Not even today, but someday. To try. At least, to try. Nothing more. He doesn’t need to do more. An attempt, a try, a wish to try.

“If you will love me even if I might see myself as a monster, why do you act like I will not love you if you do the same to yourself? Perhaps, not a monster, but still something negative,” she does not continue her train of thought, thinking it’s not needed and it’s better left unsaid. Her hands keep his in her tight hold, but also can be easily broken if he pulls away. “I’ve seen the worst in people, Kaveh. And there is nothing you feel, experience, or have gone through that will make me see you in a different light. I only wish to learn more about you, to understand you better, to hopefully offer a listening ear, to be there for you. Because I love you.”

Because I want to be your support where others will never be. “You don’t need to keep this honeymoon phase going, Kaveh. I’m not here to only love your good sides, I won’t leave you no matter what,” her thumb caresses the back of his hand. Does he understand she means every single word? “I want to love you for everything you are. As you are willing to do for me. Can I ask you… to try? To try and trust that I will never, ever see you differently or love you less when you let me in?” It’s simply impossible, it’s impossible to not love him for her. “Not today, not tomorrow. Maybe not this week or this month, but… someday. Because... No matter, I’ll wait for you. I'll wait until you're ready. Because nothing can make me love you less, nothing can make me see you differently.”

There is nothing more she wishes than to give him anything he wishes for. She just wishes for him to show some selfishness, something he wants only for himself. The only time she heard that he said he wanted something was on his birthday when he said he wanted her, out of all things he could ask for, he asked for her. Thus, he'll have her and she'll wait while loving him eternally.