#or any state like. uh.
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I am always kind because I never know the school or other situations a person may have had growing up. But pls tell me how this 20 year old in my class didn't know Ohio had its own constitution
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Okay I'm so sleep deprived so pardon whatever this is but something that's got me FUCKED up about ai generated pictures songs writing is that it just fucking kills the ability to analyse for me because there's no fucking INTENTION behind it. Like why was this decision made why were these colours used what does that say about the work NOTHING because a bunch of programming took work that DID have intent and theme and purposeful choices and turned it into SLOP. Like I COULD analyse this but it doesn't MEAN anything it's EMPTY I want to EXPLODEEE
#Like you can. You can technically analyse ai work for theme and visual literary etc motif but it's all fucking slop to me man#It's making me so cynical about like. Art. I guess. Given the state of corporations and capitalism and the endless stream of#MAKE MONEY BY ANY MEANS. FOR EVERY SECOND THE LINE DOESN'T GO UP WE EXECUTE A HOSTAGE#Like FUCK#I saw that fucking coca cola ad on tv and I wanna get violent man. Like the ad as a representation of all of. This#I know an ad isn't the same kinda thing it's just on my mind#Like nothing means anything anymore it's all gotta be slop it's all gotta be easy corporate slop to appease the market. Every fuckin thing#Ai generated shit is just an endless meaningless hole of malicious thieving garbage and I want to commit a crime#Sorry hi I've been back on that doing art professionally (kinda) grind and I haven't slept in a solid three days it's kinda wearing on me#Gonna be real lads#Oh also that's another thing this is my fucking. Like career path. I do art. And I have to monetize my one great passion. In order to eat#And pay for the constantly exploding rent prices. And now corporations are like hmmmmm#What if we didn't even pay you for that#What if. Hear me out. We stole people's work and made a computer do it#AND THE STUFF THE COMPUTER IS DOING IS GARBAGE#MEANINGLESSNESS SHIT ON TOP OF MEANINGLESS SHIT. FOR PROFIT#Uh anyways I'm going to bed now I have to get up in 3 hours I hope everyone has a better night than this and gets some rest!!#ai mention#vent post
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i think it's severely under-explored that, in possibly the rarest timeline imaginable, hawke can potentially become both viscount of kirkwall and princess of starkhaven
#assuming that the wife of the prince is a princess idfk. there's never been any mention of a princess of starkhaven#(for clarification: starkhaven doesnt have a king; they only take the title of prince. so no queen i assume)#da#da2#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#but like. what consequences does this have for the free marches and the independence of the city-states?#obviously none because they cant alter the story so much for such a rare outcome#but................it's interesting!#personal#also hey since i dont feel like making this its own post: ive got a bunch of asks recently and i AM PLANNING TO REPLY!!!!!!#i was gonna do that 'reverse unpopular opinion' thing right away but then my sleep got fucked up and it messed up my plans too badly#but ive uh. basically written my entire responses in my head. just gotta write them down sometime
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Sooo... we've been getting Flood Warning updates every 2 hours, extending the warnings into tomorrow.
This is the Eastern US, which still hasn't fully recovered from Hurricane Helene.
The Eastern US still has not recovered from Helene, and we are FLOODING... AGAIN
#hey hey hey#dont forsake your friendly neighborhood Appalachian hillbillies#the entirety of Kentucky is drenched in high standing water#we are in a state of emergency my friends#luckily I live on the higher end of a hill that drains into a deep ditch that flows into the local creek#there's so much water that it sounds like I'm standing next to a waterfall when I go outside#so uh#dont be surprised if people come here asking for aid. we have to help each other if we want to survive this presidency#kentucky#flooding#floods#flood#i believe the flood here already has a kill count (1 confirmed. It was a guy in Horse Cave whose truck veered from the road and flipped*)#*i haven't found the deets but like it happened at 10AM after it had been raining nonstop since midnight.**#**flood waters and hydroplaning is no joke. never attempt to cross visible standing water at any speed#stay safe out there
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I feel a little weird that my biggest problem during what appears to have been the apocalypse was being without power. Like, now that I am caught up on what's happening in the world outside my direct line of sight? Holy shit.
I am the moron who only notices she's in a zombie movie 2 days in when she tries to go get Starbucks.
#I'm in a sturdy cabin on a hill on the side of a mountain#with the kind of vegetation that goes 'nuh uh' even with torrential rain going 'mudslide time'#(seriously thank goodness for the trees and the meadow plants I didn't even know to be scared of that)#and I couldn't cross the creek or get any news with the power out so I was very much just... here#I couldn't leave but I was safe and comfy#and now I've seen pictures and video and I'm like 'I am the dumbest luckiest bitch on this green earth apparently'#and uh. I still can't leave or get more groceries because all of western NC is still in a state of emergency#and also the roads are kinda. gone. in several places.#the state has literally said 'All roads in Western North Carolina should be considered closed and non-emergency travel is prohibited.'#but like with the power back I have water and I can make soup forever#will it be good soup? no. but it will be soup.
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Uh. Medias I like. Kind of somewhat. We’re going with loose definitions here but basically here are some medias and you’re allowed to go bother me with questions about them. Idk.
Shows:
Sighs deeply
- Monkey Wrench
- Murder Drones
- The Amazing Digital Circus
- waiting for The Gaslight District and Knights of Guinevere
- The Owl House
- Good Omens
- Our Flag Means Death
Movies:
- Nimona (the movie version)
- The Wild Robot
- SECRET OF KELLS
- pretty much anything made by Studio Ghibli, but some favourites are Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Castle in the Sky, and Nausicaa of the Winds
Not much else because I actually don’t like movies that much. There are movies I enjoyed but none of them spark any sort of brainrot or inspiration.
Books:
- Skulduggery Pleasant (of course)
- Iron Widow trilogy
- Sunbearer Trials trilogy
- Hell Followed With Us
- Nimona (the book version)
- Monstress
- used to be into Wings of Fire, read up to book fourteen I think? Lost track
- probably more, I am an avid book enjoyer
Games:
- Sky: Children of the Light
- Dungeons and Dragons
- Ultrakill
- Cult of the Lamb (have never played, would like to at some point)
- Mouthwashing
- hey have I mentioned Dungeons and Dra-
#can you tell I hate watching things on streaming services#can you tell that like 80% of the stuff I watch is indie#yes I have watched HB. tapered off some months back bc I massively disliked the writing direction#anyways uh. have I ever mentioned monkey wrench#go watch it. it’s good#I have said this a million times#it is also on YouTube#I will continue to be annoying about monkey wrench#ALSO. yes I have listened to epic the musical#I have the fucking. queer internet teen set of interests don’t I#anyways ya I’m good to ramble about any of these. at any time#trying to not maintag anything this is just me rambling#I enjoy media#ARE THERE HETEROSEXUAL INDIE SHOW ENJOYERS. I DO NOT KNOW#hmm not gonna talk about my music taste bc it’s weird#I blame my father for my music taste#being awkward because I am in a perpetual state of expecting to be bullied for my interests lmao
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I personally always hold a character's original story or writing higher than things after. I still consider them, but if things contradict than whatever was in the original usually comes out on top
#PUT THE JAYBIN FLASHBACK PANEL DOWN#anyway my recommended reading for jason is uh. near all 80s batman comics and then judd winick's writing#i atm cant put the jaybin reading recommendation any shorter but the least i can say is dont JUST read his desth and the garzonas case#jason is intentionally out of character leading up to his death + jim starlin didnt like him#and if youve read dick robin be prepared for him to act like robin. (esp if youre reading the barr davis neary ones ive heard)#(barr is the writer iirc but barr davis neary is how i remember it because the author n art were often connected in that case)#(if you see a screenshot or panel of a small cute squishy 80s jaybin thats barr davis neary)#hes not the angry robin but hes also Not Really a happy robin. just chillin. and being a person that cant be defined by one emotion#i stand by considering pre crisis important reading. at least for you to get a better feel of him. he died pretty soon after the retcon#i do think he doesn't have much strong character going on. i struggle to describe him at times#when you first get to tim after awhile of jaybin he immediately has a stronger presence so to say#but back to the dick thing. if you dont like jason being a copy of dick i dont think youre gonna like jason point blank#hes kinda. often compared to dick. and is not allowed a different hero identity. +implied not allowed to change the costume#i like to use this as a base for adult jason copying people/wearing other heros costumes/ and never really having his OWN identity#bruce kinda fucked him up imo. but imo. we going out of cleary stated territory#and i do know now that im putting the quilt man fight on the list tho. pretend theres a list#and the titans crossovers of course#jason todd
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I am reconsidering some things for this blog.
#and by some things.#i mean one thing.#to not accept rping with duplicates.#except for Solas#this is the first time ive had muses that are not Solas share a blog with him#and on my last multimuse i didnt have a rule against duplicates.#at least I dont remember having one?? maybe I did and I couldnt be bothered to check tbh.#but i *have* followed back numerous solo & multimuse duplicates at this point#and i fear i may be putting up an unnecessary wall betwixt us.#i was speaking about this to a friend the other day and ive just been chewing on it ever since.#i feel like I owe some kind explanation abt it bc i think it makes me look like a prick to be okay with the others & not him.#Like uh. Years ago a Solas was so bigoted in their portrayal of him that it altered my DNA and fully traumatized me.#is that maybe the stupidest thing ive ever said out loud? yes. Do i need to touch grass? clearly.#Obv that person isn't every other person. & I should get over myself. But I cant. I genuinely feel anxiety over the thought.#so I thought'd it just be easier to put a blanket rule on duplicates. But actually this is not serving me.#and just to be clear i have 0 issues w/ u & ily if u have Solas on ur multi (this only applies to like 4 of you i think but still)#like i followed u for a reason lol.#and if YOU don't mind dupes#you are welcome to reach out for ANY of my muses including Solas.#but as long as it states ur cool w/ it in your rules. i think i'll drop my refusal to reach out for other Emmrichs and Felassans.#ofc ofc i'll still be respecting your rules if you don't want dupes.#i think ill be updating my rules page soon.#ooc
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sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you should’ve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Seven’s Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#i’ve been at this since new years and i’m only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i don’t mean ‘cleaning’ as in doing some light dusting. i mean there’s junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says they’re from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadn’t drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadn’t even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didn’t open them up for a smell test i just chucked ‘em in my giant trash bag#i’m finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but it’s also distracting me like those pictures did#i’ll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like ‘u found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didn’t you immediately recognize ur own mom’#and 1. there’s countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/don’t recognize and never even met#and 2. i’ve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i don’t look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. i’m turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i don’t like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shan’t rest until i’m satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why it’s taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#it’s not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so i’m trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that i’ll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally don’t know if i’ll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and it’ll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
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I know I don’t do fnf stuff anymore and left the community a long time ago but I’ve been really obsessed with friday night monster of monsters lately
#no I’m not making any drawings for it unfortunately#I have made drawings for the creepypasta it’s based off of though!#I like how the mod tries to expand on the universe of the personalized game zach is playing#and it has some cool references to the godzilla franchise as well which I’ll always appreciate#the songs are also some of the best I’ve ever heard in an fnf mod like straight up#there were only one or two that I didn’t like but the rest were very catchy or at least had memorable parts in them#anyways the only reason I could get away with making this post and rambling is because I stated I won’t be making any fnf related DRAWINGS#which means I can still talk about it I just can’t draw any stuff relating to it#so uh yeah thank you for listening to my bullshit 👍
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you know with all the yearning posts I see on there it's surprising that I don't go into that agonizing over being single and lacking any sort of romantic intimacy mood that I used to enter more often when I was, like, 13.
#unma rambles#there's also the 'agonizing over lacking any platonic intimacy' due to all my previously irl friends now being online#and not being nearly as close with anyone else#but that's like#how I am eternally#tis my default state at this point#I'm just ignoring away the agony#like I do with most things#anyway some of y'all be uh#the 'thirsty' equivalent for wanting love#desperate sounds wrong#not like I'm shaming y'all or anything I'm the same lmao
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sorry hold on im still not over annie saying her and red were together “a long time ago”. girl youre seventeen??
lucky that shipping container squashed him cuz i cant imagine what chuck woulda done to him. woulda deserved it whatever it was
#‘im gonna kill you with my bare fucking hands’ as you should nicky boy!!!!!!#for the record!! nicks age is never canonically stated completely#personally see him as 19 cuz if he was any older id have to beat his ass 😔#hopefully blue castle wasnt weird like that cuz uh. why#but then again. the twins exist……..#dead rising#he speaks#annoying all the dr fans who still go through the tags with my stupid ass posts sorry lol
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i loveee playing forever au it makes me. so sad </3 im so sorry to all of them none of them get a happy ending
#liiike.. the closest thing to a 'happy ending' is like. a non canon alt concept me and a friend came up with#where after sunny dies (bc he does end up dying. he has 5 spirits attached to him which are all slowly absorbing his energy. it was fine-#when it was just mari bc he could recover energy at a similar rate to when she was taking it. but with 5 its just too much) they end up-#reviving. bc yknow . this is a spinoff of revived mari#but even then its not. a happy ending rlly. 1: sunnys dead. and 2: all of them.. would not be left in the best state upon reviving#none of them would have their memories of course. and probably wouldnt be the best health wise either. since the energy they absorbed from-#sunny to revive. is yknow. split up among five people. so like.. aside from mari they probably wouldnt be doing the best physically#just uh. if anything kind of hope sunny died while he was sleeping .so they'd be.atleast like their DW selves rather than.nothing#but still.not. rlly the best ending for them#<- idk does any of this make sense. i love rambling.#playing forever au#aubrey.txt
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#wow ok so the new nurse practitioner im connected with is uh. The Worst Person#extremely discriminatory#doesnt give a fuck about her patients well being or health#wont do her job properly even when its fucking over said patients#is lazy as shit and tries to get out of doing any work whatsoever even just checking a fax#and has now screwed my healthcare over bc she's going on vacation for 2 weeks and DIDNT INFORM ME even tho i have tests scheduled#and am supposed to start meds that r extremely time sensitive#but now i just. Cannot access them bc she wont prescribe them before she leaves#so uh. ok. we're fuckin Done w this#gonna talk to my support worker tomorrow and explain and ask for a referral outside the program#which suuuucks bc that means said NP would have to do it and im sure she'll put up a fight but uh#ya no sweetie we r done w this#u hate disabled ppl and think my life and health is a joke#u have spent 3 weeks sabotaging any attempts i have made at getting adequate care and access to resources#genuinely and actually Fuck Off And Die#this is. truly infuriating i rly dont have words#like hooo boy if i had to quote some of the shit she's said and done y'all would be shocked#which is rly saying something considering the abysmal state of healthcare in most countries rn#aiyaiyai#Fuck This#i am. so so so done
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I wanna flesh out a yakuza oc but every time I think about it I end up thinking about an oc of mine who already Exists who’s not a yakuza oc. but is, in fact, an oc who is a yakuza. and that fact is genuinely completely unrelated
#he existed WAY before I started playing yakuza or knew really anything about it#actually he contributes to why I got into yakuza to begin with. cause when my friend first showed me y0 I was like ough… my character#grew up in this exact environment and culture and structure and etc (son of a patriarch)#so it was legitimately a good reference for his background and stuff#I kinda wanna talk about him/his background more on here but. like i said he’s. not technically a yakuza oc#and he can’t be because he. canonically. has PLAYED yakuza. like the games EXIST cause it’s just a normal real world type universe and#I won’t get into all this much but he ends up in the states on the dl for Reasons. accidentally ends up with a son when he’s 22 (son’s#mother being significantly younger but again we’re not gonna get into THAT mess). ends up seeing the first game being sold somewhere in nyc#and is unable to restrain his curiosity about it (as an Actual Yakuza) so he ends up getting his son a ps2 for his birthday partly just#as an excuse to buy and play yakuza 1 because he NEEDS to know what’s in it#something something it ends up being a weird bonding thing with his son who’s definitely too young to be watching this game being played#(he was born the same year as haruka so he’d be like. 8-9. also already a concerningly violent child with many issues but. anyway)#something something he ends up disappearing out of the blue from the states when his son is 12 but the pastime still sticks for said son#from then on. so uh. yeah weirdly significant that these games Exist in this story/universe bdsjhfdfjnd#idk why I’m avoiding saying his name. his name’s asura. he’s a year or two older than daigo (born 1974) and his family’s supposed to be a#pretty powerful one in the tokyo area and he was supposed to be a nepo baby sorta like daigo except he’s not Technically an only child- he#has a much younger sister. but obviously she wasn’t gonna be considered for taking over their father’s seat nor would she want to#she wants absolutely nothing to do with any of it and changes her last name pretty soon after moving to the US to get away from them#no beef with her brother or anything she was just treated absolutely horribly and disgustingly by older members of their family growing up#ANYWAY I should stop talking bdshshcbsnnf I didn’t mean to infodump all this the lore is just. deep with these guys#Asura wasn’t even made to be a particularly prominent character or anything it’s his SON who’s a Bonafide Main Character and asura’s ties in#the story are mostly related to Him. (though his sister is also a pretty prominent character so there’s connection there too)#rambling#also one more note. yes. the timing and location of where asura would’ve first bought yakuza 1 means that it would most likely be the#infamous original english dub version. which is hilarious to think about#especially because his son’s mom (I keep calling her that because they weren’t really in a Relationship they just co-parented and lived#together a little less than half the time. it’s complicated) Did Not Approve of a game that Adult around their kid. so she would not be fond#of walking in the room and hearing TEN YEARS IN THE JOINT MADE YOU A FUCKING PUSSY#luckily she was so young and considered her son a lost cause and a burden as it is so. she complained but didn’t really do anything about#it. I mean shit she was like. only around 24-25 I think. but yeah
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the last remaining threads of my sanity are slipping through my fingers rn 🚬 😑
#i'm out of cigarettes i'm incredibly ill and i'm reconsidering my relationship to a certain fandom.#look i'm NOT saying i'm gonna stop the divorce proceedings but uh. fuck. i may have been re reading some of my older works and unfinished#fics and i MAY. i repeat MAY. have some tiny shred of interest posting about st*r w*rs again#motherfucker i'm SO hesitant to speak that into existence and will be absolutley APOPLECTIC if it happens bc i don't fucking WANNA like sw!#i divorced it! i took the kids (my ocs) & filed a restraining order & crossed state lines & broke all contact and yet! and fucking yet!!!!#i find myself in tags i havent visited in over two years on the archive like some beaten dog slinking back home to a shitty master#i honestly hate like. fucking ALL of the shit i've written from then that i reread and some of it was so bad i couldnt even bring myself to#click on it after reading the summary. like. UGH! i have a half baked fic idea i wrote a little for and i think it's more compelling than#any of the literal dogshit i posted back then so i MIGHT work on polishing that up and posting something that isn't actual garbage by my#current standards. all of this is still up in the air tho bc i dont know if the hyperfixation or even the bare minimum lvl of interest has#returned or if it's just fever induced delirium. i've been having INCREDIBLY fucked up bad horrible awful vivid dreams as of late so fever#induced brain fuckery isn't out of the question. sigh. i'm so mad abt this#even if i do regain some interest in the fandom i don't think i'll have any interest in new source material after the mando s2 finale &#tbo.bf sucking ass & the obi show being mid & everything with the ST. i plan on watching ando.r but after that? zero interest in anything#new from sw. so. if anyone still reading this and is getting excited abt me POSSIBLY MAYBE being interested in sw just know i still hate it#a bit and feel like i'm being dragged kicking and screaming back into this mess unwillingly. or it's due to a fever. god i need a smoke#len speaks#that's literally the longest tag rant i've ever gone on. fuck that's a BAD sign
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