#or again maybe i just cant read lmaooo

[4giorno]

baldies gate is very difficult

[phagodyke]

i will ALWAYS be salty abt the ed-sheeranification of one ok rock (one of my fave personality-building anecdotes i explain at parties to ppl getting to know me) but the fact is that takas voice is soooo hot he could sing the words on the back of a milk carton to the tune of a t*ylor sw*ft song + id probably still listen to him. sorry

[lexithwrites]

can you write professors remus and sirius fucking when they’re older and being scared of being caught pls <3

nsfw aheadddddd (once again a muggle au because i cant write hogwarts lmao) also i didnt proof read this so sorry if its got mistakes lmaooo

Remus just managed to stop himself from knocking his mug of tea off the desk when Sirius thrust again, and instead gripped his boyfriends shoulder in attempt to ground himself; or at the very least get stabilised. He was already close, he had been since Sirius had sauntered into his office and locked the door, that cocky grin on his face that always had Remus blushing. He just had that kind of affect on him, he had since they first started dating as teenagers. Maybe it was embarrassing, but Remus couldn't care less with Sirius so deep inside him he felt it in his stomach.

"You gonna cum already, Moons?" Sirius purred into his ear, fingers grabbing at his hips to keep him place. Remus' legs had been wrapped around Sirius a minute ago, but the asshole insisted he keep them nice and wide for easy access, and who was Remus to say no to that hypnotic voice? His trousers, that he had ironed that morning for fuck sake, were now hanging off his left ankle, and his tie was undone and bouncing around his chest and shoulders as he was fucked into the oak wood of his desk, every thrust causing Remus to gasp and whimper into Sirius' neck.

"C-Can't help it." He mumbled, nails dragging across Sirius' shoulders at a particularly slow roll of his hips. "Oh god—"

"Sshh, someone might hear you." Sirius teased him in a sing-song voice, briefly glancing over to the door and seeing shadows walk past it. He felt a little on edge at the idea of getting caught, but he locked the door for a reason. "You don't want our coworkers to hear you getting fucked, do you?"

"N-No."

"You don't want them to hear how much of a slut you are? On the job? God, maybe they'd be jealous of you." He smirked and nipped Remus' ear when he felt Remus clench around him. "Jealous?"

"Shut up and keep going." Remus grunted, pulling Sirius' closer as he started moaning a little more desperately in his ear. "Please, Sirius, I need to cum please—"

"I know, love." Sirius was close too, sweating a little at how hard he had been going earlier. Bending Remus Lupin over his desk and holding him down as he pounded him had been fun, but being close to him like this was what really got him riled up. He liked hearing Remus' breathing against his skin, feeling him dig his nails into his back and rock his hips against his own. He liked feeling Remus fuck him back, god he loved it. "Let me cum in you?"

"Since when do you ask nicely?" Remus scoffed a little, leaning back to look into Sirius' eyes and push his matted, sweaty hair away from his forehead. Sirius could devour him right now, he was so gorgeous it hurt him. He bucked his hips and Remus gasped, feeling Sirius cover his mouth to quickly catch the cry of pleasure.

"Since you've got a meeting later, and I don't want to assume you want my cum dripping out of you during it." Remus' eyes almost rolled back into his head, lashes fluttering at the thought. "God, you're hot." Sirius moaned and kissed him hard, licking into his mouth and starting that brutal pace up again. "Cum for me, Moons. It'll make me cum, it always does."

Remus didn't last long after that, and later in his meeting he was asked if he needed anything since he was wincing a little in his seat. He blushed, saying his back was aching, and tried not to look anyone in the eye. Dammit.

[suckishima]

okay so i know i posted a few weeks ago that i did get to see the haikyuu movie when i was in japan last month and ive been so busy i didnt fully have time to process lol so ive been writing down thoughts as i remember them so, spoilers under the cut (no particular order)

final rally pov shot was craaaaazyyy (sidenote i saw challengers today lmao and they did a similar pov shot thing a couple times and it reminded me how sick it was to see such a complicated thing be animated)

in addition to that tho, while i liked the drop of the music then to just have it be kenmas breathing, i felt lie his breathing seemed a little repetitive?? like it was possibly just the same couple voice recordings repeated???

and also tbh.. i kinda didnt love how after the super amazing pov animation the way they chose to animate the full court flashback to tokyo training camp was just like a flat pan around the room. it just didnt feel all that dynamic after seeing something so cool, and maybe it was just my screening but the image was kinda blurry and not that crisp at that part

in general tho i thought the sound design was really cool, so much of it just straight up felt like a live match happening, and the part when kenma tells hinata to stay interesting and the sound cuts out?? ooo v effective i thought

and then the birdcaaaage aaaah i loved the way the wings like got all stifled in the cage when kenma first trapped him and then ofc the bursting out of it oooo im excited to see it again in imax

there were a tonnnn of small moments that i assumed wouldnt make the cut that actually did too, yaku sitting on lev's back when he's doing pushups, the bokuto/kuroo hair swap flashback lmaooo, goshiki having to share his ipad with tendou (i cant remember for sure now if he actually says that or not but theyre definitely in the movie), bokuto and akaashi coming over and talking to yachi and ah i think theres more. a lot of them were shortened down a bit, but i appreciated them getting attention nonetheless. sadly no kuroo/lev poop conversation though lmaoo

i thought the kuroo/kenma flashbacks were pretty good as well, i think they possibly added a few lines?? it seemed like there were more frames of stuff of kuroo being inspired by the "lowering the net" concept which was really cool bc thats really integral to his character to me. and then theres this line where kenma is like "hinata has kageyama and i have kuroo" and uhhhh that is news to me!! im like 90% thats new content lmao, and oooo it was good, the shots they chose with it too gooood

oh for some reason they changed how kenma flops??? he falls with his butt up in the air instead of just flat??? like why lmao, obviously that was like an Actual Choice they made bc they had to draw it and obviously had the manga as reference and it makes no difference other than to confuse me lolll

im interested to see it again distributed by crunchyroll too bc im sure some of the subs i saw werent right, a few lines just didnt make sense and there were a few instances of like "lead blocking"

and okay. i gotta talk about the chapter 298 stuff

its there its in the movie!! but,, it's watered down lmao

and i think i was also too in my head and overanalyzing it which im disappointed in myself for so im hoping on rewatch ill have a better time

the "hes always been one step ahead of me after all" was like as perfect as it could get tbh, it looks just like the manga and tsukki like says it just right and yamaguchi comes onto the court behind him totally focused and aaah really loved it. then the service ace and tsukkis little laugh it really good

but then i'm torn on the actual serve and block, there's no inner thoughts on yamaguchis "oh no the ball isnt drifting enough" and then tsukkis silent reply "no that was plenty" before stuffing it, so we arent hearing their like mind reading/intuition connection there which was a bummer. and thennnn im not positive on this bit but i dont think anyone repeats anything about the serve and block being the perfect play?? (its yamaguchi echoing ukai in the manga) and then no little flashbacks to how theyve been training

HOWEVER the big main flashbacks of seeing how yamaguchi walks from behind tsukki to in front of him are there!!! and the way theyre presented is interesting? i was like taken aback by the decision to have the clips being showed within their silhouettes as they move toward each other (i couldnt even tell thats what it was at first tbh..) that i missed whether or not all the panels were in it..... (majorly disappointed in myself for that one). idk visually i found it a little confusing i guess and so i couldnt fully appreciate and im hoping itll look cool on rewatch when i understand whats happening

and then the high five ahhh it was pretty good, idk if anything will ever live up to that manga panel for me, the joy and success and sense of achievement in that image means so much to me lol, but its animated fairly well. do wish they didnt cover tsukkis smile tho

then kuroo asks how tsukki feels about volleyball and he says its fun and he smiles and its.. fine. like ugh its just one of those things were this entiiiire section just slightly suffered from being a two minute segment of a movie instead of a whole episode (or even just half an episode tbh), like something about his smile and saying it was fun just fell a little flat for me and i was unfortunately a little sad about it, i was hoping for a little more buildup and like emphasis. this is a huuuuge culminating moment for him and it didnt quite feel like it to me bc the movie had to have other priorities where a season wouldnt have

later one when tsukki and kuroo are like battling at the net exhausted tho and tsukki smiles again that was pretty good, the animated is really top notch when theyre all panting n stuff, and the voice acting there was great, really liked it

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP47 SPOILERS!

welp. todays the day. pray for me guys this could easily be the most upsetting episode of dndads for me. im dreading this so bad

- IS THAT FUCKING HERMIE SINGING???

- I CANT DO THIS

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE INTRO TO BE SAD IM SICK IM SICK IM ALREADY GONNA CRY

- "HATING MY FATHER INSTEAD OF HOLDING YOUR HAND" HEY???? HEY???! IM GONNA KMS

- OAKWORTHY IS CANON. IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE.

- FROM WHAT I HEARD I THOUGHT SCAM WAS IN THE INTRO???? BUT THIS. THIS HURTS SO BAD

- i feel sick i havent been able to move on from the intro

- im gonna be so honest i was expecting a "sike" or something at the end so u can imagine my relief when the little clicks started playing

- okay. okay. time to listen to ur fun facts u sick fucks

- WILL ACCIDENTALLY CALLING THE PODCAST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AGAIN LMAOOO

- anthony stfu i dont want to hear ur voice (hes literally the dm)

- MASTER OF MANIPULATION LINCOLN LI WILSON

- will. what evil fact do u have for us today.

- NORMAL DOES TAROT READINGS WHAT

- WILL IS GONNA JUST DRAW A CARD RN???

- LOVERS??? THERES NO FUCKING WAY

- WILL ACKNOWLEDGING HERMIE DIED IM GONNA THROW UP

- A BROKEN MARRIAGE???? HOLY SHITTTT

- scary plays the piano omg!!!

- THATS THE DUMBEST REASON EVER

- "im really nervous about what anthonys gonna do this episode" U AND ME BOTH MATT

- MY HEART IS POUNDING. MY HANDS ARE SWEATING. MOMS SPAGHETTI /ref

- it has taken me an hour just to get through the intro + facts.

- "but at what cost?" AT WHAT COST IS RIGHT BETH.

- SO NORMAL WASNT CONSCIOUS FOR IT. UR FUCKING JOKING

- MATT SUGGESTING THEY HIDE THE TRUTH FROM NORMAL. I CAN FEEL TEARS COMING

- ATOPPP ANTHONY HELPP

- BETHS REAGAN JOKE TO THE RESCUE

- NORMAL IS AWAKE AGAIN. OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD

- NOOOO OFC THEYRE GETTING INTERRUPTED

- "wheres hermie?" IM DONE

- NORMAL CANT SEE HERMIES BODY OH MY LORDDD

- anthony rushing them away. i cannot. i cannot

- "well fix it" im done

- NORMAL GOES TO PICK THEM UP.

- I CANT DO THIS.

- "this marriage has one less spouse but heavens got one more little angel" MATTHEW ARNOLD CAN U NOT.

- im sitting here in shock through all of this

- "just be happy ur not in hell" shut up anthony too soon

- thank god normal didnt take damage again

- lincoln cool scar era okay

- NORMAL PANICKING LOOKING FOR SPELL COMPONENTS LIKE HE DID W TERRY JR I CANTTTT

- HENRY OAK GARCIA. SAVE ME HENRY

- LARK AND SPARROW GIVING EACH OTHER A LOOK HELP ME. HELP ME

- NORMAL DOING SENSE MOTIVE AGAIN STOP IT

- AND GETTING A 1 AGAIN!!!!!

- theyre back home.

- "VOTE WILLY"?????

- "u guys ready to see him?" NO. NO IM NOT

- ty for protecting dood scary :[

- NORMAL IS HOLDING HERMIES HAND AND TALKING TO THEM. WILL CAMPOS DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE

- ANTHONY STOP RUBBING IN HOW DEAD THEY ARE

- "the only thing keeping u together is the absolute ignorance u have of the fact that maybe the only person who ever showed u any real affection in the last couple years of ur life is dead" anthony burch im hunting u down.

- STOPPPPP NOT THE AD

- THE OLD EARTH WHOOOA

- is the dude w the white beard that "new fan fave npc" will was talking about lol

- HENRY REVEAL. HENRY REVEAL!!!!

- BARRY?????

- I SCREAMED I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

- I DIDNT KNOW IF WE WERE GONNA GET BARRY BACK. NO WAY

- MERCEDES IS DEAD..... STOP IM CRYING AGAIN

- THEM ALL CALLING HERMIE THEIR FRIEND. OOUGH

- UR FUCKING KIDDING. ANTHONY DO NOT TEASE US LIKE THIS

- "MADE OF GOOF MATTER" UR JOKING

- NORMALS SNAPPING OHHHH GOD

- NORMAL. NORMAL ISTG.

- NORMALS TRYINF TO BRING THEM TO SCAM?????

- HOLY FUCK......

- THEYRE IN THE SIMPSONS NOW.

- SCAM LIKELY. MY FUCKING ENEMY.

- WHY DOES HE. WHY DOES HE ACTUALLY CARE. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS THERES NO WAY

- "HES MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD" SHOOT ME.

- THEY DONT HAVE A SOUL.

- WTF IS SCAM GONNA DO

- ANTHONY I DONT TRUST U ONE BIT

- anthony burch. i hate u

- okay scam apologizing does feel good

- "I DONT WANT ANOTHER ONE I WANT THIS ONE" AND PUNCHES HIM. OH. MY GOD.

- "u feel like home for some reason" WAILS

- OH MY GOD SCARYS GONNA TELL NORMAL.

- GUYS I CANT DO THIS I REALLY CANT

- THE TREE. WILL CAMPOS PLZ

- HENRY TOLD NORMAL HES PROUD OF HIM. NOBODY TALK TO ME AGAIN EVER

- ty henry for giving normal what he needed im gonna sob my eyes out

- THEYRE GONNA PUT THE SUN BACK.

- THE FUCKING. THE FUCKING SUNRISE

- MATT OLD LADY NPC

- WHAT IS THIS FUCKING IMPROV

- CHAPARRAL.

- DONT FUCKIJF HIT ME UP

- "i liked u too" sighs.

- "GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE" END ME.

- "hermie u definitely were one of us" SOBS

- "i did notice u. thanks for everything" AAUAGAUHH

- LINK SAID NOTHING FOR HERMIE GOOD GOD

- "lark shakes ur hand, sparrow goes in for a hug" ough.

- OH MY GOD HENRYS GONNA SEE CODE PURPLE.

- HOLY SHIT YALL THIS IS BIG

- THEYRE TEACHING HERO AND NORMAL HOW TO SHOOT.

- BABY NORMALLLL

- "help me normal, only u can save me normal" WTF??? WTF????

- WHAT THE FUCK.

- guys i made it through. [confetti falls on me]

[lostfracturess]

nici i’ll have u know i just took two shots of tequila in preparation for this chapter 🤣🤣 and it’s close to 1pm on a tuesday

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE S&C IS OVER 100k NOW THANK U FOR THE NEVER ENDING FEAST QUEEN

“how can u stay so calm?” “drugs, sweetheart. it’s the drugs.”

i cackled so fkn hard 🤣

"Tell me," he whispered, his breath a warm caress against your ear. "Where would you want him to touch you?"

IM CHEWING MY MF KNUCKLES I NEED THIS MAN (or both men) IN MY BED IMMEDIATELY

Geto stripped the rain from his hair, then twisted the dark strands into a fresh bun. His eyes flickered between you and Satoru, a single raised eyebrow his only question. You wouldn't meet his gaze, the floor suddenly fascinating. 

stoppppp okay first of all the writing is eating so hard idk how but w every chapter i just fall more n more in love w the way u write 😭 BUT ALSO DON’t GIMME THE IMAGE OF A RAIN SOAKED GETO or else something ELSE is gonna be soaked out here🧍🏻‍♀️

ok i have to stop quoting every other line lmaooo

"Just so we're clear," Satoru's voice suddenly cut through the quiet, "I don't share. Not you."

PLS I KNOW I SAID I WLD STOP QUOTING EVERY OTHER LINE BUT THIS WAS THE NEXT LINE AND IM SCREAMING this is not fun to read while i’m in my fertile window

sighhh the conversation ab the 37 y/o pt passing n how he’s just a statistic now 😭 so heartbreaking yet realistically put

im loving the daddy dom energy satoru is exuding in this chapter i just love when usually flirty/amused men lock tf in when things get serious lol it’s so hot. also so sweet how all he’s concerned ab is her reputation & career ahead

“A familiar ache rose in your chest. You longed to reach out, to bridge the chasm he insisted on maintaining. But his posture, rigid as stone, and his clenched jaw, sent a silent warning. This was his battle, one he'd fight in isolation—as always.”

ughh i feel like this perfectly sums up their dynamic. also if s&c was a paperback book this wld 100% be a quote that readers wld highlight on the page n crop to post on pinterest lmaooo it’s so good

“He was falling apart. But all you could do was watch.”

🥲 pls. stopp im so fragile rn.

NOOOOO NOT SUKUNA BOOO BOOOOOO 🍅 🍅 GIMME FIVE MINS IN A ROOM W HIM RN 💥👊🏼

i have sm anxiety over this ethics hearing my palms r actually sweaty. its like i’m THERE rn.

wait nici can u explain again sukuna’s want for revenge towards gojo n wanting to tear him/reader down 😭 was it like the jealousy that he wasn’t able to become a successful surgeon like gojo n had to settle on educational matters instead? :”) im dumb sry. ik he’s the root of gojo’s addiction but i think i might be missing something here lol. or do we not know yet

ok i still hate sukuna’s guts but there is partial truth to what hes saying🧍🏻‍♀️not saying reader isn’t brilliant n talented in her own right, but for sure, satoru’s attraction to her has given her opportunities that other qualified students were potentially robbed of (we live in a society lol). but idk how exactly she ranks among her peers, so maybe she rly was the best student for the job, but that’s all very subjective

"Because you would do the same," you finally managed, the words scraped raw from your throat. "You would stay. You wouldn't leave me."

ok “why do you even stay?” sent a chill down my spine but THISSS. im gaspeddd :””(( reader loves him sm and if her commitment to not letting him take all the blame isnt evident enough, her sticking w him thru his drug addiction is truly a type of devotion that comes from a purest point of love

“You—you make me feel things I've spent a lifetime avoiding, things I don't know how to handle. It scares the hell out of me."

ouchhhh 😭 ok but i feel him on this. that avoidant attachment be hittin againnn lmao me n him are so same

"You don't need to deserve me, Satoru. Love isn't about deserving. It's about choosing each other, again and again, no matter what. And I choose you.”

CRYINGG YES 😭😭😭💕💕💕 this healed a part of me ngl

"If you don't come down in the next few minutes, you're the one getting folded, first-year."

WHY IS HE ALL OF A SSUDEN MR FUNNY MAN NOW PLSSSKDJDJD their chemistry this chap is off the charts

FFFFFUCKKK MEEE JUNKYARD BOY CHOSO!!!!????? I BET HE SMELLS LIKE GREASE N SWEAT N SOMEONE I WANNA FUCK. omg he called me pretty company 🤭🤭 bye dr gojo im all about them blue collars im sorry 😔🤚🏼

"I love you, first-year. Damn it, I love you. I don't care how complicated this gets, I want you."

god pls 🧎🏻‍♀️ if i’ve done anything good in life, then just give me this man

OMGGG HES GONNA FUCK US OVER THE HOOD OF A CAR ?!??!!?

"You give in too easily." A teasing smile played on his lips. "You don't really want me to fuck you on this hood, right?"

😐😐 this isn’t funny. im not laughing rn. i will not stand this sort of edging. gimme dick NOW

omg🧍🏻‍♀️ive no words to say about that smut. delicious, devious, dampening. he is my every fantasy and i desire him. i desire him so deeply

aaa he hurt her in his sleeeeppp 😭😭 for a man that cares so deeply like him that mustve really fucked w him. also this is so random and must be my daddy issues speaking lmao but satoru (minus his addiction) wld be such a good family man🧍🏻‍♀️the way he loves is sooo providing and stubborn to a fault but almost in a way that’s kind of grounding lol bc i feel like he’s almost always, at the end of the day, right about everything? haha i cld be proven so wrong ab this but i just had to share the thought

mannn im on the second court hearing n im just SO damn curious what is going thru satoru’s head rn 😭 it seems like something switched in there somehow, his demeanor is so different

him actinf so calm rn is scarinf the shit ourta me im ngl🧍🏻‍♀️like bb ur scaring me. PKS IN SO SCARED WHY IS HE SUDDNELY TELLINF US HE LOVES US

ah. and there it is. satoru’s impending fall from grace. i saw it coming from a mile away and that he wld do something like this, but fuck. the way it was written. i thought it would be something that came a place of more heightened emotions from him, something desperate to protect (kinda like in the first hearing). but THIS….so calm, collected, so sure of his love for reading that he’s willing to let go of almost everything that has given him purpose in life up until this point. it aches.

:( im heartbroken rn. amazing chapter 😭💕 thank u sm for writinf it, oh my gosh, jusf amazing

i need more tequila

giiirl!!! not the tequila ahhhhh 😭😭 that brings back bad memories omg.

& yes the story is over 100k already and still no end in sight. i never thought i would write so much lol. but also i'm already so sad when the story will eventually someday end. like i never want to not write about my unhinged neurosurgeon gojo help.

stoppppp okay first of all the writing is eating so hard idk how but w every chapter i just fall more n more in love w the way u write

thank you so so much!! that's such a big compliment coming from a fellow author <3

BUT ALSO DON’t GIMME THE IMAGE OF A RAIN SOAKED GETO or else something ELSE is gonna be soaked out here🧍🏻‍♀️

GIRL 😂 I'M SORRY.

i have sm anxiety over this ethics hearing my palms r actually sweaty. its like i’m THERE rn.

so glad the angst transpires well in this chapter!!!

wait nici can u explain again sukuna’s want for revenge towards gojo n wanting to tear him/reader down

so first: sukuna is an asshole.

second: sukuna is an asshole.

third: SUKUNA IS AN ASSHOLE.

no seriously, how i portray him is like a very power driven man, that thrives on the misery of others. moreover satoru being his lifelong rival and sukuna finally getting a change to push him of his throne is just something he wouldn't let slip through his fingers. so it's really all about power and control on sukuna's side.

also satoru's states in that chapter that he did something stupid in his past that sukuna is still mad about. feel free to speculate, given satoru's past 😂

ok i still hate sukuna’s guts but there is partial truth to what hes saying

yes it is!! satoru really has just eyes for yn and is defensively letting other students down in the process. this just adds to the overall mess their relationship is.

ok “why do you even stay?” sent a chill down my spine but THISSS.

hmmmmmm ahhhhhhh SO HAPPY that these lines landed well <333 love them!! they are so messy and raw ahhhhh

WHY IS HE ALL OF A SSUDEN MR FUNNY MAN NOW PLSSSKDJDJD their chemistry this chap is off the charts

he had a little bit of drugs and was all happy again lol.

FFFFFUCKKK MEEE JUNKYARD BOY CHOSO!!!!????? I BET HE SMELLS LIKE GREASE N SWEAT N SOMEONE I WANNA FUCK.

i was wondering, if i should just do a random character or one of the jjk cast and choso just came into mind at first. idk why but i think it fits ahaha.

omg🧍🏻‍♀️ive no words to say about that smut. delicious, devious, dampening. he is my every fantasy and i desire him. i desire him so deeply

here to serve!! so glad you liked the spicy scene. they are always a pain in the ass to write.

aaa he hurt her in his sleeeeppp 😭😭 for a man that cares so deeply like him that mustve really fucked w him.

YES!!! you're the first to comment on that!!! also thought that this is so so so SO BAD for him. like he would never (physically) hurt her and doing it unintentionally in his sleep??? EVEN WORSE. poor boy must have felt so miserable and angry at himself after.

the way he loves is sooo providing and stubborn to a fault but almost in a way that’s kind of grounding lol

honestly, love your observation about the potential family man side of satoru! his love IS fierce, demanding, and sometimes overbearing, but at its core, it's deeply protective, and i think you're spot on about that being grounding.

but THIS….so calm, collected, so sure of his love for reading that he’s willing to let go of almost everything that has given him purpose in life up until this point. it aches.

so happy satoru's fall from grace hit well!! wanted that choice of his to feel both shocking and inevitable. not a desperate outburst, but this chillingly calculated decision, born out of love. it just hurts so good!

thank you so so much for your lovely reactions to the chapter ellie, as always!! it means the world. also give me some of the tequila lol. sending you kisses and hugs ♡

[carmenized-onions]

HEY LOVELY!!!

Been a while since ive done one of these. Im re-reading AGAIN and forever will be. im obsessed, truly.

Through re-reading this hit SO hard.

“The other shoe still hangs in the air; but not in your bed.”

LIKE WHAT? HELLO? KILL ME? Your writing is phenomenal. i cannot fathom how you do this EVERY CHAPTER.

Anyway, im so exited to read every chapter to come. Am i in love with Tony? maybe a little (a lot). I was also wondering if you have anything planned for after you finish Chicago's finest? Another The Bear book? or maybe something else entirely? Not to rush you or anything, obviously. Im just so incredibly nosy. My deep apologies.

Just to tell you for the millionth time, im in love with you, youre writing, Tony, how you write the characters, EVERYTHING. gives me life.

me when i hear anyone coming even CLOSE to me while im reading Chicago's finest.

me planning a characters slow and painful demise when they upset Tony. (love you Carmy. not really. no, joking i do. maybe not. NO I DO I SWEAR.)

me trying to act casual when i see you've posted.

ALSO

me trying to act casual when Tony and Syd are interacting. (Dont worry, babe! by Chappell Roan? Who said that...?)

ANYWAY (for the second time) very sorry that this is just me rambling about stuff you dont want to hear.

Hope you're having an amazing day/night, lovely!!

I've stuck you in perpetual re-reading hell have I? My deepest apologies. Esp since I've been chronically re-reading in my brief basically hiatus as i write, I USE SO MANY COMMAS GUYS??? WHY WERE YOU LETTING ME GET AWAY WITH THAT??

the revisions once the series is finished is gonna go CRAZY.

Anyways, SUCH A DELIGHT to hear what silly prose of mine sticks out to you!! thank god you think i do it every chapter!! i am constantly doubting each chapter (man why do you think 15 has been so delayed? LMAO)

I adored using the other shoe as a through line throughout the Troubled Angst arc, one because it's very canon, but also because its very much a thing for me, like, when a good thing happens, cannot HELP but wonder how it's going to get fucked in the end.

which, after telling my doctor that, got reccomended the same books i reccomended carmen LMAO. love you son <3

THANK YOU FOR LOVING TONY!!! I love her dearly, I put so much of myself in her and also so much of what I see and love about my darling friends; my sweet darling dashing hero complex burden carrying the guy overconfident yet under confident tony. My sweet babe. the people love you!!

As for when I finish Chicago's Kindest (PUNCH BUGGY ACAB!! FUCK THE FINEST!!), I'll probably certainly absolutely take a break from writing for The Bear for a bit (though I'll definitely be around to answer asks!! duh!!). But once I return, I am hoping to...

If you send in little blurb requests for Chicago's Kindest, I'll do em!! I know esp with like Mikey/Chip there's a lot of bits that have been spoken about but never actually written out and lived. So like. If you got requests, send em in, I might write em.

I promised a SquidInk spinoff and bitch you're getting one!! There's two different ideas I've got twirling around for them at the moment, they might combine into one one off, or two separate things, who's to say!

More and More I cannot see RiChip as anything more than a platonic duo, but like, maybe I'll try to write something about them? I do adore those two. I just cant see em doin a kiss. that's just bad for my brain.

And I have no hard plans atm, but like, I'd like to write something for RIchie in general at some point. What about and what of? Idk. Certainly not a series this long. that's for fucking sure.

I don't think I can ever write for Carmen though again LMAOOO, it's only Tony for me atp. Like I can't pair him with a new reader, I'll fucking freak out. It's Chip or Die, y'know?

And while I have an epilogue planned, once Season 4 comes out, if there's something interesting that I feel like I wanna throw my hat in on, I'll come back for a Chicago's Kindest Season 2, so to speak. But no promises. They will probably give me nothing to work with, with how our stories diverge. who's to say.

anyways! not nosy!! sorry for talking about it for so fucking long!!!

i'm so glad I write the characters well, please note that it's cause I'm always freaking out about it. I am re-writing bits of lines all the time to make sure it suits their voices and decisions ,and even still i have changes i wanna make looking back LMAO

DONT CRASH OUT WHEN READING CHICAGO'S KINDEST LMAOSOD where is everyone typically when reading CK?? I'm usually on the subway editing my google doc lmao

and listen, every time i re-read Just Dropped i'm like damn. why did i not go with the punching route. should've cold clocked his ass. (love you carmy but JESUS CHRIST I WROTE ALL THAT??? WHAT WAS I GOING THROUGH MY WORD???)

THE LAST PHOTO ALSO?? i know that's a classic promo image but what the FUCK IS RICHIE DOING IN THE BACK? WHY ARE YOU SITTING LIKE THAT??? SIT UP BIG MAN WHAT THE HELL WE RUN A BUSINESS GIRL

Always rant and ramble to me!! Love to wake up to spam in my inbox. even if it takes me ten years to answer (sorry to everyone still trapped in my inbox, i love you babies)

all of you are really gonna hoot and holler when you see the squidink playlist, truly, it's so gay and sad. i love those idiots. when do i get to make them kiss. is it now? i hope it's now.

anyways i am SO LATE TO GO TO BED I'VE GOTTA GO BABIES BUT THANK YOU FOR CHATTIN WITH ME SORRY FOR TALKING FOR TOO LONG <3 HOPE I GET YOU YOUR NEXT CHAPTER SOON BABY I'M SORRY FOR THE FORCED HIATUS

[raspberrysmoon]

ive read all of ictd except i've grown tired of my sleep which i will do right this second so if you wanna rant i'm here !!!!!

YAYYYYY ok first i need you to go listen to these songs in this order. hey little songbird, when the chips are down (both versions, there are two), gone im gone, and wait for me, (not the reprise, but the two after gone im gone) all from hadestown. do that first then read pls 🙏🙏

next, this is also very important

(ok my entire draft was just deleted and i am going to cry. fuck! anyway)

this is a draft of how ruth, richie, and max get out of the black. ignore that for now though its like,,,,, major major spoilers lmaooo

now. look at hey little songbird again, maybe relisten to it. "i want a nice soft place to land / i want to lie down forever", from eurydice.

lex is webby's. she always has been, just like hannah has. her brothers dont usually interfere with webbys people. but wiggly? wiggly likes to play games every so often.

relook at hey little songbird as wiggly and lex rq. eurydice is tricked into a deal she doesnt understand. idk it works to me.

now, the list. every character on it has one of three personalities, and one of three "roles". kind, cruel, afraid and companion, obstacle, aid. all the groups (1-4) fit together somehow. linda, river, and zoey all match. wilbur/holly, ted, and jenny all match somehow (or will).

ive been struggling with group four, kais group. nobody really matches kai and is importante to rmr. hear me out. move hannah/daniel to be kais aid, make lex their obstacle. so, gr4 would be kai.c hannah/daniel.a and lex.o. but who else matches holloway and wiley

i have three options i cant decide btwn for that one. either A.) its duke, cruel. B.) switch ted to be cruel to fill that quota, make duke afraid, C.) use duke k (dukes dad) in that slot, cruel. idk someone help me here 😭

doing this would mean a few things though, and idk if theyll be positive. first, lex would switch from webby-aligned to wiggly-aligned halfway thru the mainfic. second, three to seven chapters, likely in a row, would be dedicated solely to lex snd her switch, then possibly ethan a bit.

now. like. hear me out this is SO experimental. wait for me (not the reprise, the other two) as ethan trying to get into the black to get her and being unable to, because he's not strong enough/hes not wiggly-aligned anymore. he's webby. they switch.

does this. make any sense. at all. do any of you get me. am i insane

[pupuyvs]

omfg why you gotta surprise me like this 😭😒😫 didnt realize it was about a new update and was reading the others post and was like 'tf is going on 🫨' then i saw the update and tf dude. mentally was ready for monday not today jkjk but in all seriousness youre just the best 🫶🏼

nowwww...this update. damn dude. first of all jihye shouldve told chaewon about her plans for college so shes def in the wrong there. but chaewon girllllllll smh. im excited to see how she comes back from this and like what type of groveling or actions (maybe publicly claiming jihye at idk prom 👀) she'll have to do get jihye back (and win the groups approval again)

i agree with the other anonymous about jihye seeing ningrina and being like 'oh. ning fought and left her friends for min' and hurting but happy for her sis but still hella sad and hurting (im already hurt from this angst so im all for a little more angst until everything get better 😈)

and about that video spoiler lmaooo (im sorry to jihye) but wdym fight? girl got her ass beat 😭

anywaysss tysm for the update! cant wait for the next to see how all this ends! you 🫵🏼 the best author 🙂‍↕️🫶🏼🩵

-🦖

my bad im very impulsive so 😭😭😭😭

however one of ur guesses was very good not gonna say which

and yes she may have gotten her ass beat but she fought back!!!!

lastly tyyyyyy for loving it i always look forward to ur thoughts 😁😁

[ham-st4r]

hi!!!

so, i read “nobody gets me me (you do)” and wow!!! it was so amazing!! i cant!!!!!!!!

first of all, i loved that this time yn is an idol/famous and hee was a “normal” guy !!! it was fun to read and to see a different perspective on that!! this also brings me to the fact that omg omg omg omg heeseung was such a sweetheart here :((( like omg he was everything !! a husband material for sure <3 he was so supportive and caring and omg!! i melted ngl <33 BRUH yn was such a bitch lmaooo  - i was literally pissed while reading some of the shit she said!!! and NO!! i will not put myself into her shoes!!!! she said some bullshit that no one especially !!!hee!! deserves/d :((( but i guess we got some good and im taking RLY GOOOD fucking so - yeah the sexy scene u write never disappoint !! but still !! and when he left YEAHHH GOOD FOR HIM but also :((( seeing both of them  be still in love was so sad, i mean yn rly fucked up and im glad she realized it!! and omg this sza song is sooooooooo good and wow the story plus the song WAS TOP TIER !!!!! the whole getting back together was so cute :((( i hope they did get married eventually <33 

THANK U THANK U this was a lovely <333 <3 i appreciate the work u put into it <3 it rly shows! i was excited for this since it was a wip and it rly met my expectations !!!!  thank u !!!! take care !!  ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Hello!

First off, thank you so much for your review. I appreciate this so so much.

I’m glad you enjoyed the reversed idol roles. I’m constantly trying to come up with unique ideas, so I’m happy that stood out to you.

I agree that heeseung was a sweetheart. He didn’t deserve all those things y/n said to him ;( and I also agree that y/n was a complete a hole 😂

And of course I had to write make up sex lol

Also, with the part where heeseung broke up with her, I wanted to showcase that you can love someone with your whole heart, but if they don’t put that same love back into you, then they are not worth it.

But, it also showed that people can learn from past mistakes and get a second chance cause they realize they messed up and they’re willing to be a better person for the one they truly love.

And also, yes! The Sza song is literally gold.

I could, maybe in the distant future, write a little scene about them getting married finally, but who knows.

I didn’t know anyone was even waiting on this story. I’m sorry it took so long to get out. I had a bunch of issues with the editing, but it came out just the way I wanted it to.

Once again, thank you so much. I really enjoyed this, and it made me feel the emotions of the story all over again.

Thank you so much! I hope you have a wonderful day!

For anyone that hasn’t read the story yet you can read it here >>>

[the-kipsabian]

Yo hi there! I’m very sorry to bother you at this time of the day, just reaching out if you’d be so kind to check the post that I pinned on my blog and maybe give it a little help by boosting/sharing it? it’s for my cat :((( and we need help to get him the dental care he needs. It would really mean the world to me and I understand if you don’t, still appreciate you and stay safe! and btw, please do send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately instead as I want avoid other blogs to think im a spambot or what, once again im sorry for asking this, praying you’d consider! 🫶🏽🥹

you know what

no 🙏❤

hey kids, lets play a game of spot a scam again!! (im copying the message ive replied with before here and the original is at the bottom if you wish to reblog that one :) just editing this a bit here to show the new stuff they are putting out there in this very message yay!!)

okay this is literally the same story ive seen before at least three times. its word to word the same. youre not even trying

reblogs only from original posts. they have gotten "smarter" tho as this blog followed me in attempts to try to show its "real". and yet they havent reblogged from blogs they supposedly follow, only from probably the top posts from some popular tags and only from the original posters. also please note literally all the posts in their blog have been reblogged today within the past three to four hours (apparently im so loopy i cant read times rn, its been about the past 15 to 16 hours but the point still stands, they are all reblogged within the last 24 hours)

also they try to act more human with a decent description and likes and follows turned off. dont try hun

their only original post as far as i scrolled (which admittedly wasnt very far as its obvious this is a scam lol) is the donation post. unsurprisingly

ive said it before and i'll say it again - they seem to target people in similar positions that they are supposedly in, trying to pluck that sympathy cord with "your pet is sick so you are sensitive and know how this feels". this isnt my case rn but i obviously have posted cat photos and i have a donation ko-fi link in my pinned post sssoooo

"pls consider answering this ask privately" lmao so what people dont know youre a scammer? NEXT (they literally say this now like lmaooo for real? so that people dont think youre a scam bot?? honey please are you even trying)

a simple search even within tumblr tells you people already know about this. the account, the story and the cat. you aint fooling anymore

if unsure kids, ask a friend and google things 👍 reverse image search, for example, is your best friend!! also googling the latter half of the given paypal name reveals immediately that this is a scam. plastered all over the first search page lmao

also kids, in case youre asking "well what bad could a one little me reblogging a post even if its a scam do if i dont donate :/" 1. im sorry what and 2. it makes them look legitimate which they are not. the more notes the more trusted the source cause tumblr is full of idiots (sorry not sorry ive been here for over 11 years i know what people are like) plus you put your friends, mutuals and followers in a risk of participating in a scam. and have your name associated with it as well. do i need to go on?

anyways hi go report this blog and always be hesitant if someone you dont know asks you for donations like this. unless its a beloved mutual on your dash, reconsider. stay safe, thanks 💜

looking forward to being unfollowed and blocked immediately after posting this, but i'll be sure to report you for a scam. :) also fuck you for using someone elses poor cat and their situation to literally scam good natured people out of money, what the fuck is wrong with you

peace and love, fuck you ✌💜

[bruce-wayne-simp]

Like Minds

Hey hi hello im about to watch Like Minds (aka Murderous Intent) and apparently the only way i can watch movies now is by liveblogging them so ���‍♀️

(Maybe expect the LotR trilogy next idk)

Like with Remainder i have a vague idea what this movie is about. Well, maybe a bit more of an idea what this is about. All i know is there are 2 teenage murderers and a TON of homoeroticism (not canon i think but youre crazy if you dont see it)

Also this liveblog/my watching of Like Minds was heavily sped up by @catlovingwitch who sent me a lovely ask which fuckign FUELED me to do this so thank you v v much ❤️❤️❤️

Once again, i am a T Sturridge stan so this will probably be very heavy on him. Unless over the course of this i become an Eddie Redmayne stan

Spoilers be ahead

Idk why im like. Anxious? Whatever.

Its starting aaaaaa

Eddie R screaming on a train (hes thrilled)

Ooh theyre stealing stuff?? T Sturridge isnt here yet

(The way its set up is Alex (Eddie) is captured by the police and is basically giving them The Backstory™️ which is where Nigel (Tom) comes in)

Oh shit he killed Nigel

Ok so psychiatry lady is here and her name is Sally

God Alex looks so young

Ooh this is interesting and actually really good

Flashback starting

THERES NIGEL god hes pretty

Lmaooo Nigel is the new kid and hes Alex's roommate and Alex is kinda pissed lol

Thats what you get when you snoop. Alex was looking in Nigels trunk and found a taxidermied cat(??)

Lmao Nigels in the doorway like 'Do you mind?'

Oh hes so concerned about his taxidermy

'Hes weird' they say as they explode a cockroach for fun

Lmao Nigel reads books about anatomy/autopsies?? yikes

Oof Alex is pulling the misogyny card. Hes telling the psychiatrist lady shes running out of time to have kids 💀 sir youre not helping your case

"Nigel got what he wanted." "And what was that?" "Eternity."

Sally is Over It. She doesnt think Alex is guilty

Shes listening to the tape she recorded from her talk with Alex and is like 'hmmmm'

Back to flashbackss

Oh god Nigels dissecting a bird IN THE DORM ROOM

Lmaooooo i love Nigel

Alex is PISSED and is like 'the least you can do is show me some common courtesy' and Nigels like '??? K.'

Well that interview just went to shit

So Alex was kinda taunting Sally but mostly the detective dude. So detective guy comes in and is like 'Gunshot residue says you were holding the gun when it went off'

Alex asks to see his father, the detectuve is like 'he cant help you', Alex panics a little, grabs Sallys wrist snd is like 'Nigel was holding the gun when it went off, i didnt do this' and the detective dude loses it and punches him and Alex is dragged off to lockup kicking and screaming

Apparently Nigel ALSO had GSR on his hands so anybody couldve pulled the trigger

Yall need to watch this fucking movie

Ok so basically a guard runs back in and is like 'He wants to talk'. Well actually hes holding 2 guards hostage w a police baton and is pleading to be let out of the cell. He fights the guards, loses and Sally shows up as hes on the ground being cuffed again. They sit him on the bed, Alex insists he didnt kill Nigel and then starts talking about someone being 'here' and 'listening' and Sallys like '???'

Ooh ok so Alex thinks someone is talking to him im his head?? Does he think Nigel is?? We are at a flashback btw

Wait did they already steal stuff off the train??

Alex youre a bit of a brat lmao

Wait was he stealing stuff for his dad????

Ok Alex and his friends are kind of dicks

Ooh Alex is challenging the pastor dude who is teaching religious history i assume

Nigel is looking at him like hes kinda in love

HOOOO CHECK AND MATE. GET REKT PASTOR DUDE

Lmaooo Nigel keeps dead things in jars. He has a big thing of formaldehyde hanging up lmaoooo

You know what i actually kind of agree with Alex. I mean thats p reasonable

(The Headmaster (who seems to be fond of Alex) sees Nigels collection of dead animals and is trying to justify why Nigel is there and allowed to stay. Alex is the first quote)

"He's a part of your club and nobody else wanted him so youre doing the 'brotherly' thing. Yeah well does my future depend on that?"

"Thats enough-"

"No, you dont give a fuck about me or this guy the only thing that you care about-"

"Thats enough!"

"-is the amount of kudos his father's-

"I said enough!"

"No, which is fine, but just dont give me the 'brotherhood' bullshit."

Then the headmaster slaps him and is like 'This boy will be made welcome' and walks out lol

Oooh theres Nigel

Lmao he walks in, slides in behind Alex, grabs his notebook off the desk and walks out, visibly amused.

Jfc Nigel is making psychological notes on Alex and his friends

"This little shit needs to be taught a lesson"

Alex's friend, Josh, is a pos. He just made a literal Nazi joke. To Alex's credit he tells him to knock it off

At least one of his friends has 2 braincells.

Are they straight up chloroforming Nigel??? Wtf

They dragged him onto the train unconscious

Oh shit Alex is like holding him outside of the door while the steel beams to the side are rushing past them. Nigel seems out of it tbh cause hes not freaking out

Josh is lighting firecrackers and tossing them out of the train and he dropped one and freaked so Alex and Nigel got back in. Nigel went to walk away and Alex pushed him up against the wall like 'Where do you think youre going??'. Nigel just spit in Alex's face and Alex punched Nigel

Oooooohhhh shit Alex leaned Nigel out of the door again and Josh started freaking out and told him to let Nigel go and the handle Josh was holding onto the train with BROKE

Oh shit Nigel just let him fall

Like he straight up waved his hand over Josh's hand to taunt him i guess and he got sucked out of the train wtf

I feel like the thing to keep in mind here is all of this is being told by Alex and hes Not a reliable narrator

WAIT THE HEADMASTER IS ALEX'S FATHER???

Oh yeah Alex is an unreliable narrator for SURE. Besides some fondness there was 0 mention of him being Alex's father. Or maybe im just dumb which is entirely possible. Likely, in fact.

Lmao Nigel staring at Alex like a freak at Josh's funeral until his dad nudges him like 'Knock it off'

Alex's dad eyeing Nigel as he walks away

Alex and Nigel arent roommates anymore

Nigel reading basically smut in front of class (in front of Alex 😏😏) classy smut im sure but still

Alex is watching rehearsals of the play and Nigel comes up super close like 'sorry about ur friend' and is kinda. Creepy and morbid about it. Which tracks

I think its interesting that TS's facial expressions and delivery here is SO reminiscent of his role as Dream. Ive seen him make these EXACT expressions in The Sandman while talking. Its odd seeing them on a younger face tho (not in a bad way)

Oh my god Alex just got a human hand in a package. 3 guesses as to who its from? (I assume. I dont actually know. Im not gonna do my boy Nigel dirty like that)

Alex vomited and hes telling Sally that when he got back it was gone

Nigel comes into Alex's room, gives him some papers to help with his essay while Alex is yellimg at him to get out and leaves lmaoooo

My boy Nigel doesnt deserve the slander 😤😤

"How did he know i was struggling with my essay?" Youre a dumbass and hes smart

"How did he know my topic?" Idk maybe if you made an effort to know him youd find out. Im sure Nigel can be charming when he wants to be but hes not gonna be on guard 24/7 so you got to see the spooky shit hes into when you were roommates

"I mean he had answers to questions i hadnt even thought of yet." Omg could Nigel be... Smart?? Impossible. Only idiots study anatomy and dissect things. 🙄 CMON ALEX

Jfc Alex you are dramatic as hell. Hes comparing using Nigels notes to 'selling his soul'. Just get the easy A my guy

Me every time Nigel comes on screen: 🥰🥰🥰

Nigel and the dog im DECEASED

The dog doesn't like ALEX oooooo

Dogs know who you really are 🧐🧐🧐

"I've never brought anybody here before. You're the first. Okay? First."

Nigel just wants to be friends 😭😭 he brought Alex to his hideout and the first thing he asks is 'Do you like it?' 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh jfc Nigel is as crazy as Alex

God that LOOK he gives when Alex is flipping through the book. You cannot convince me Nigel isn't in love with Alex

"An implement for killing. That's what I am." N I G E L

Jesus. Alex thinks Nigel is in his head.

Alex just asked a girl (Susan) out on a date and Nigel came up afterward all friendly and tried to give him a book and Alex completely cut him off

Poor Nigel :(

Ok also poor Alex but i don't feel as bad for him cos hes an ass

Holy shit did Nigel kill someone?? Alex woke up and someone threw a knife on his desk stuck to a Jack playing card with blood

Oh my god its Susan (that girl Alex was gonna go on that date with)

Nigel this doesnt look good for you buddy

Nobody's accusing him but she was kinda.... dissected. Its pretty graphic if you watch this movie just be aware

Oh shit she was in the school greenhouse

I think Alex did it. Hear me out. Hes the one telling this story. If he did it, hes gonna tell the story in a way that makes Nigel look bad. Nigel, conveniently enough, cannot say anything otherwise. Cause he's dead. I think at the very least he did kill Nigel but telling the story this way makes him the hero for killing the big bad serial killer.

Ok back to the movie the knife and the card are gone from his desk and Alex is looking for Nigel.

Now the detective is getting statements from all the students who saw Susan before she was killed

Oooooh Alex got caught in a lie

'Ooh I sense some hostility' just kiss him already JESUS

OH SHIT. Nigel is remorseful about what happened and Alex was like 'You did it. Didn't you?' And Nigel says 'No, Jack. You did.'

(Jack is a nickname. It's explained in the movie i just don't feel like rehashing it sorry)

Alex punched him

"Well im sorry Jack but you were the one who got inside my head." OHHHHH FOLIE A DEUX

Nigel: You can fix him? I can make him worse <3

And we love him for it

Something something criticism of upper class structures (see: quote above about 'brotherhood'), parents being not involved in their kids lives and not seeing obvious signs of mental illness due to that (Nigel's... everything and Alex's authority issues, sense of grandeur and family issues)

This scene is where Alex's dad tries to get the detective to drop the charges and tries to use his connections to the detectives father to do so but he refuses to drop it.

Oh shit apparently theres no evidence Nigel did anything to Susan

Also apparently the detectives cant find Nigels parents so 🤨

Hmmm

Sally is gonna look at Nigels hideout

Damn Nigel had a TON of notebooks

Oh SHIT Nigel had photos of a sleeping girl

Nigel its really hard to defend this i hope you know that

Oh fuck theres a dead body under Nigels house

Apparently 2??

ALEX DID IT. FINAL ANSWER.

Nigel showed Alex the hideout!! Alex was the FIRST and ONLY person (besides Nigel) who knew about it!!! The bodies were fresh!!!! Alex did it. Nigel my babe ill defend you to the death Alex is a psycho

Its ride or die for Nigel Colbie in this house

Aww Nigel introduced Alex to his parents

"Helen and John, this is my best friend Alex. Hes working on the play." Oh yah rich ppl are fucked up. Imagine introducing your parents to your friend by their FIRST NAMES 🤮

Ooh he just read Nigels bible

Nigel thinks hes directly descended from the Knights Templar

See, Alex seems to be reading this like it's his first time seeing all of it. But HE BROUGHT IT UP FIRST. In that class with the pastor earlier. Nigel was watching him. This was right before Nigel started pursuing him (and i don't think this was how it happened. Hold on i'll talk about it later. I think Alex went after Nigel. And I've seen other people think this as well)

Alex's mother died while giving birth to him and he told his father that her death was his fault since he got her pregnant 😬

Oh god

Ok so

Sally found a card that said 'My beloved Maraclea' and Alex is telling her who Maraclea is

Maraclea was the lover of a knights templar in the 13th century who died and the knights templar. Uh. Had sex with her dead body. And basically 9 months later he goes back and her skull is moved from her shoulders to on top of her thigh bones which are crossed. He has to protect the skull bcs itll give them grest fortune or whatever

While hes telling her this theres a flashback to Nigel and Alex meeting up at night and uh. Theyre in a morgue.

I dont like where this is going 😣

Oh fuck its Susan

Is. Is Alex gonna necrophile Susans body

Did he do it???

Hes saying Nigel took him there to basically recreate the whole Maraclea thing but its ambiguous as to if he actually did it

Holy shit thats fucked up

So Alex is watching through the window

Nigels father found those photos that Sally found and. Um. I think those are of Nigels mother actually.

Implied incest/CSA warning (im gonna italicize it. Skip the italicized part. Nothing graphic and not even really explicitly abuse but theres an accusation being made basically. CSA bcs Nigel is 17)

Nigel is in his bed and so is his mother. Shes in a slip and hes in pajamas and his father is holding a gun and yelling and basically accusing them of sleeping together (tho Nigel is 17 and also thats his mother so uh. Yeah.)

Tbf it only incidentally looks like that and she claims they were just talking. But also i have no reason to trust her so uh. Yeah.

Oh my god

Nigels father just shot his mother right next to him.

Holy fuck.

Alex came in and grabbed the gun and asked Nigel what hes done and Nigel said she was 'chosen'

Alex points the gun at Nigel and Nigels dad gets in between them and is shot by Alex

Oh my god wtf

'Ill have my Maraclea' What. In the actual. Fuck.

And he just. Casually dumps his fathers organs into the fire.

"Dont you think they're gonna be missed?"

"Well as long as they dont find her nine months it doesnt really matter, does it?"

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Nigel i cant defend this.

Oh god Alex did it too with Susan

Tom Sturridge angry with a shotgun is something i didnt know i needed but im glad i have it

Oh shit they both did it

Nigel used Alex to kill himself

Holy shit

Alex had the shotgun pointed at Nigel and Nigel is very obviously upset and doesnt understand why Alex thinks hes the crazy one.

He told Alex to pray for him, reached up and pulled the trigger while Alex was holding the gun

ALEX WALKED????

HOLY SHIT ALEX IS MAKING HIS OWN BIBLE

HE LEFT AN ENVELOPE ON SALLYS CAR AND IN IT THERES A JACK CARD THAT SAYS 'MY BELOVED SUSAN'

Holy fuck he broke into Susans tomb and took her skull

Holy shit hes doing the same thing Nigel did to him to someone else

Roll credits

Ok ok ok wow so um.

I dont think Nigel did it

Well ok. I think the truth is somwhere in the middle. Alex is putting a lot of blame on Nigel for someone who may or may not have killed 2 people to Nigel's 1

God its so hard to collect my thoughts about this film. Also its like 2 am so uh. That doesnt help.

I think Alex had a more dominant role than he let on. Also considering how quick he was to pick up the mantle, idk. I just know while watching this i was surprised by how much Alex killed even as Nigel called himself an instrument for killing. All Nigel did that we know for certain was let a kid fall out of a train. Alex straight up shot Nigels father.

Nigel is more quiet and reclusive and morbid and Alex is more intelligent and outgoing.

Of course Alex makes a point to emphasize how morbid Nigel is and ive already pointed out how i think Alex is an unreliable narrator. Alex is smart. He knew how he needed to tell the story and he succeeded. He got off scot free.

Unfortunately i dont think Nigel would have been able to do that. Nigel was smart but not as smart as Alex. He would have slipped up

So what happened to Susan? I keep going back and forth on this. I think it could go either way. But i hate to say it. I think Nigel did it. This whole thing kinda goes back to the Maraclea thing and Nigel knew about it already. So he kills Susan and guts her so Alex has his Maraclea and he goads his father into killing his mother so he 🤮 has... his...

Basically i think Nigel is more evil but Alex had a bigger part than he lets on

Its v v complicated. Or its just 2 am idk. (respectfully) Leave your thoughts if you feel so inclined

Oh my god he said Alex killed her because in Nigels mind he chose Susan as his Maraclea oh good lord

(But Nigel is pretty and fictional so we'll give him a pass)

Im definitely rewatching this at some point. Its actually really good

Ok thats all lol bye im gonna go see if theres Like Minds fanfic

[t0byt3]

why i think noels lament fits vil pre overblot 🫡

i started thinking about this and havent stopped so now yikes

anyways uhhhh im going to reference exact lyrics and how i think they play to vil

also i hc vil as gender fluid so i will be switching between he/she/they pronouns for vil throughout the post

this ended up being long af i forgot that i cant stfu jesus

anyways start !!

Uhhh i will say that i dont think the fact that this song is bascially just a fantacy of some sort relates to vil (for the most part). like i think some of the lyrics would pertain to vils imagination or fantasias or whtvr but ya

none of the things i mention are 100% cannon (they could be?? idk) ill go back l8r to see if i can find proof from the story/book or from the manga to see if some of the "points" i make are actually cannon or just me confusing my hc w canon (it happens yikes)

"GOOD GIRLS CALL ME "THE TOWN BICYCLE" DON'T KNOCK IT 'TIL YOU’VE TRIED MY LIFE OF SIN"

the whole "town bicycle" thing pertains to vil cause people sometimes take their anger/h8red of a character out on the actor whos plays them so for vil who has said that she has played a shit ton of villain roles (i think she said shes played only villain roles if i remember correctly) so if thats the case then she has definitely had to deal with whtvr h8 and name calling has come w that.

then the whole "dont knock it till youve tried my life of sin" refers to people shitting on him for playing the villain specifically the "my life of sin" being vil playing the villain over and over (many villains are seen as wrong or sinful so that also plays in)

"MY PIMP, KNOWS NEVER MESS WITH ME"

lmaooo this just makes me think of his manager cause i feel like vils manager has def heard or seen vil loose his shit either on someone or just ranting about someone

idk if this is fact or not but i always thought of vils manager as being the same one hes had throughout most if not all of his acting career

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO FIND HIM, OFFICERS BUT IF YOU DO, PLEASE MENTION THAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE RETURNED THE PRETTY KNIFE THAT I STUCK TEN TIMES IN HIS BACK!"

tbh i see this as being one of those fantasy parts like vil fantasizing about harming neige and/or taking his place

idk thats all i feel like that line is self explanatory idk

"FOR I SING SONGS UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN I EMBRACE A NEW MAN EVERY NIGHT MY LIFE'S ONE NEVER-ENDING CARNIVAL; A WHIRL OF BOOZY-FLOOZY FLASHING LIGHT; I WANT TO BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL"

"i sing songs until the break of dawn" while i feel like in the song this could be referring to actual sing or fucking all night or whtvr IN THIS CASE FOR VIL i interpreted it as actual singing in which she sings while getting ready for bed or in the morning or smthng) either practicing songs for the hero roles she never gets to play or just practicing in general (maybe even singing songs that she likes just for fun)

"i embrace a new man every night" again im aware this is referring to s3x IM interpreting it as like,, taking on new roles every night either for a new play or a new part or whtvr (this one is one of those lines that doesnt really relate but ya)

"my lifes one never ending carnival a whirl of boozy floozy flashing lights" SHOWBIZZ!! lame but ya thats all i just think that this would be just like in referrence to actor life or whtvr. the whole "my lifes one nvr ending carnival" part could be read as slightly sarcastic cause while everything is also new! fun! wow! its also just ick after awhile cause thats just how its is. the nxt line would just be referring to all the bright ass lights and camera lights and shit that go into acting and whatnot

"HE SAID, "I THINK I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU" I'VE HEARD THAT LIE A MILLION TIMES BEFORE"

another one that i feel is self explanatory tbh people tell actors they love them all the time so while vil probably gets h8 for playing the villain they probably also get fans telling they they love them (which i can imagine how annoyed that must make vil but not the point rn)

"OH, TONIGHT I GIVE IN TO THE FANTASY TAKE LOVE WHEN YOU CAN, WHEN YOU'RE A WHORE"

as much as it annoys them when random ass people say they love them, i do think sometimes, vil will give into it a go along, either for publicity or whtvr. especially as a kid i feel like vil would give into that lie more often (hence why they dont anymore as they have learned its false) but sometimes when the loneliness goes haywire theyll indulge someone for a bit (typically just simple "ilu2 :))" and conversing with them) to gain some sort of fake closeness to satiate the loneliness for a bit (this is 100% hc i feel like vil is seen as the best or the second best so its probably hard to make real friends or relations that dont just want to use them for money or fame or whtvr but once again,,, not the point)

skipping a few lyrics here 1- cause tw and 2- bc i havent found a way to word the way i feel they relate to vil (maybe ill edit when i figure it out maybe i wont idfk)

"EIGHT MONTHS LATER I CATCH TYPHOID FLU"

this just makes me thing of her overblot lol while i def think that the overblot has been building for more than eight months but it just shot forward from being to book six to when she overblotted. "i catch the typhoid flu" makes me think of how she "caught" the overblot "sickness" since its going around/being passed around similarly to how i feel a flu or sickness would be (obviously not very contagious and if overblot was some sort of sickness nrc would be fucked)

"DYING IN AN ALLEY, A PRIEST KNEELS DOWN TO ME- "My child, do you have any final words to the Lord you'd like to say?" "Oui. Tell Him that, like Him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away!"

the priest in this scenario would be either neige or rook

if we're going w neige as the priest id says it because neige was trying to be nice to vil before vil tried to poison him. The line that noel says would be interpreted as vils words right before giving neige the apple which wouldve cursed him

if we are going with rook as the priest then i see it as rook talking to vil before she goes off to give neige the apple, like before vil separates from everyone, and noels part ould be like vil replying before she goes (i dont remember if they spoke before vil went to curse neige but ill look into it)

" SHATTERED DREAMS SUPER CRUSTY, HOLY TERROR WILD EYES AND BLACK MASCARA BROKEN HEART"

the other lines in this lil mantra dont really fit but thats okay

anywyas

the whole shattered dreams thing like duh bros shattered dreams of playing a hero role and being chosen over neige

super crusty - idk for this one ill be honest

holy terror wild eyes and black mascara - yea so "terror" more like rage but terror may fit cause while he was full of rage he could have also had fear that hed never be able to be more than the villain or second to neige

and broken heart obvi bros broken hearted over this realization

"IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE DREAM... I'D BE THAT FUCKED UP GIRL!"

in this case that fucked up girl could be in reference to neige

tbh that whole thing abt this song being abt some guys fantasy could also be in reference to vils fantasy of taking neiges place as the fairest of them all of the most loved and such.

anyways that was a lot and idk if any of it made sense tbh

thats all :3

[metukika]

ok you needing a second to understand that tumbel in tumblr saved me from my embarrassment for having misread your message xD hell yeah haha

maybe you could write us a lil post about your favorite character & why they are that :D (soz for not doin it myself i‘m not feeling like putting anything out there today)

and don‘t decide that you won‘t ever contribute to a bigger project that touches people yet !!!!!! YOU��RE SO YOUNG you‘ve got the whole world waiting for you and you‘re ALREADY so good at art though. your art is already touching people, no reason why that shouldn‘t work if you should ever work with others on a bigger project!!! GET OUT THEREEE i mean also take your time but IF YOU WANT THAT ABSOLUTELY SHOOT YOUR SHOT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES i‘d personally love to see your work in something bigger :D nothing‘s set in stone <3 <3 <3 !!!

aww thank you so much anon! idk who you are but youre so kind to me... thats so nice!

about the whole future thing... i know i have a lot of time but i think because of some stuff coming up soon (when i leave school) im stressed about the future and my decisions in it entirely. idk what im gonna do if i need to go to the military lol like what job to take... i havent started driving and i dont understand shit about all the other stuff thats attached with going to the military im just stressed in general. i dont wanna end up staying in my parents house forever ig.

but i have a lot of time and i know that even if my connection with my friends fade away when they get recruited (which is... also something that could happen... oh god i dunno how to make irl friends) i still have my family, and probably the online world too. if i open commissions im pretty sure id get some work, but i dont think i could do that too much cuz i hate drawing things i dont wanna draw.

but, again, who knows what will happen. ill be fine haha, especially if there are people like you who care enough to write messages like these. most of my online friends are from twt so its always nice to see a tumblr fan <3 thank you anon.

(im realizing how depressed this is all making me sound like i promise its just my school hammering in the importance of the military signs up like i dont even know what part of the mess ill be in most of the time theyre teaching shit that doesnt concern me. im okay, im not dying!!)

now to actually talk about my favorite character! woohoo! happy topic change!

for the two people who read this and the one thats actually gonna read till the end, im putting a cut so this isnt annoying on ur dash (note to anon: this post is so so fucking long i know u prob asked me my fav character to cheer me up but dont force urself to read this whole thing just to be polite lmaooo but id appreciate it if anyone did cuz holy shit)

something that ive realized a while back is that usually when it comes to favorite characters of media, i have a type.

when i made this the character i had in mind where souda (danganronpa), aiura (saiki k) and teru (mp100).

after making the tweet i also thought of denji (csm) who fits right in, and also bakugou (mha) who doesnt, but he looks like half of the characters i did mention lol.

i think the whole social but nice thing came to because of all those shows and stories where the popular kid in school is the mean bully.. maybe i dislike this trope cuz i havent personally experienced any kind of bullying in my school, even as an observer so i cant relate to the experience of having this type of antagonist. the worst it ever got for me was when in fifth grade a girl made fun of me for crying and no one laughed. (shes still in my class over six years later and shes really nice not ufhduh were not friends but were friendly and i dont hold a grudge). maybe its just cuz im wholesome so i dislike any type of negative character. maybe.

that might sound stupid cuz i said i like bakugou, who i used to think of constantly, like for the entirety of 2021 he was in my mind it was annoying. but idk man not all my favs fit into this category ((shinguuji, saihara, yuuko, tweek (who also looks like them! what the fuck!) yuudai from sakana (why are they all blond?!? and men. more female characters what the fuck) barf bag (yes im an object show fan good morning)))

anyways. i like the popular but nice trope is what im saying. why are they all simps? i dont know honestly only one of the characters that i mentioned at the start is simping for someone i ship them with (terumob) (but the reason i even like teru in the first place might be cuz i saw terumob art, thought it was cute, and decided to search more art. i do that with a lot of characters when i dont watch the show (from the original list ive watched all of saiki k, watched playthroughs of the first 2 dr games, watched like a season of mp100 years ago and watched like 2 seasons of mha even before that. i get my filling of plot and character from meme videos, fanart, and fanfics. i understand enough.) and i get hooked on the ship (more examples include akiangel, kiribaku and the two gay boys from evangelion. a lot of homo happening. also whatever the fic version of this is but with denji and yoshida).

about the simping and the bakugou being mean-- i accept my character's flaws!!! i dont erase them!!! bakugou is an asshole and thats why i wanna see him get punished and learn from his mistakes, even if its a little hard! a great fic where this happens (but isnt the main storyline) is quirk: knife! which is probably my favorite non ship heavy fic, check it out!

my fav characters have flaws but just like how you need to embrace flaws in the people you love, whether that means helping them get better or accepting them, i embrace these flaws cuz it makes them who they are! souda, denji and auira wouldnt be themselves if they werent pushing the lines with their crushes and idk what the fuck bakugou would be if he wasnt what he was.

alright lets actually start talking about my favorite character now.

so, right now, my favorite character of all time is-- ding ding ding-- kazuichi souda! who i already mentioned.

look at him! idk if the one and a half people who are reading this know him, but if u know denji, who is a more popular character atm, then imagine that but more wimpy.

the first time i encountered this character i was watching game grump's playthrough of the second game. i watched their first and enjoyed it but didnt really join the fandom. i didnt know anything about the second so i was going in blind like arin and dan, so theres a chance that whatever i thought about the characters was biased and connected to how they feel.

at first i really liked his design. a lot of the characters have small and complicated details but souda is probably the most simple design, not including hinata, but unlike him souda has a lot of bright colors that draw the eye in! i dont particularly prefer designs with sharp teeth but i think its a pretty nice quirk, since its another part of him that makes him look intimidating. theres a headcanon that he filed themselves but i honestly think he wouldnt do that, and prefer the headcanon that its genetic, even if it makes less sense. but danganronpa, and their designs, dont make sense. i think these little strange quirks are better when they arent thoughtout or have reason. he has sharp teeth becuz. just cuz.

if u dont know what happens in the game im just gonna say that the plot doesnt really matter, cuz really the only growth souda experiences is with his relationship to hinata (the main character) and his trust to his survivor friends that makes him stronger and convinces him to leave the virtual reality. im not gonna be talking about the plot in detail. i also havent watched the anime so im not gonna get into whatever he does there. i do know that he makes some cute faces in it, which is pretty awesome.

but, yeah, besides his design, at the start i truthfully didnt really like him lmaooo he was kind of stalkerish towards sonia (ill prob get into their relationship later), he is also a wimp but honestly... i get it hes stuck in a killing game i would be scared of anything too. i feel like of all of the cast, from all the games, souda is probably one of the best depictions of an actual teenager that might exist. of course he has his obnoxious moments, but in a way that a dumb teenager would have. i dont know when i started liking him, maybe after discovering soudam? hmm.

kazuichi is the ultimate mechanic, which is one of the talents in the game that actually gets used? he makes the communicators in chap 3 and fixes the elevator in chap 4. besides that, he is also important to the second chapter since he helped tie up komaeda and he also brought hinata to the diner, though that has nothing to do with his talent.

he learned to be a great mechanic from working at his dad's repair shop or garage or whatever its called. its mentioned that their family is pretty poor, and i think the concept of a character being at one point or another un-wealthy pretty interesting (did that come strange? sorry). he worked to help get their family money he is a good boy, he mentions being better than his dad too. he doesnt look like the typical mechanic, except from the greasy hair and jumpsuit (im talking specifically about his color scheme) and thats another one of those quirks that make no sense but i just like haha

speaking of his parents, lets talk about a popular headcanon that fans have of souda's dad (before we start i wanna state that my opinion on this topic and the topic of souda relationship towards sonia and his trust issues were all stem from an analysis video of him on youtube, if u know u know, so if i want someone more competent talking about it go there, but if u dont care enough to research it or ure only reading because u like me and wanna hear me talk about something i care about dw im gonna go into detail about these anyways

the hc is that souda's dad physically abuses him. i wanna talk about why dont agree (if u wanna skip this part ill put *** when it ends so just go there <3). this hc stems from a story he tells hinata in one of the free time events where he didnt go to his previous school trips because he wanted to save money for his family, even though he really wanted to go, and he says something along the lines of how his dad "beat the crap outta him" when he didnt go.

do i think his dad hit him? probably. i dont really know how common this type of discipline is in japan, or in places with more un-wealthy people so this might be normal to them. does that make that okay? obviously not. but if the only example we get for him hitting souda is after souda does something good for the family in his own expense, it wont make sense for his father to be mad about it, right? i think he was upset his son had to give up his happiness for them, even if it was to save money. the analysis vid said it might be souda just using more dramatized words for it. He was hesitant to tell hinata that he was picked on at school, i dont think hed just admit to being abused so casually. i think his dad might have smacked him from time to time when he was younger but probably stopped the more souda grew up. if his dad really hated him he wouldnt beat him after doing something that would benefit the dad, is what im saying.

also i think that the way souda acts doesnt reflect someone who would be regularly abused... its not like im an expert, but if we for example look at tsumiki, who was canonically abused and bullied regularly, we can see a great difference. yes, souda tends to be caught off guard or scared of stuff, but usually its less of other people and more about the situation around him. he was scared of monokuma and the monobeasts and the morning after the killing gama announcement. he's also generally not that apologist about his stupid behavior... for example he doesnt feel remorse for tying up komaeda, and even threatens to tie up kuzuryuu too. i also think he said something about wanting to punch one of the other guys? this might be cuz he tends to blurt out his thoughts stupidly and doesnt know how to hold his tongue (something that, if he was abused, would probably get him in trouble) but he never recoils from what he said. he whines about being judged, like after letting slip that he was thinking of sonia in a creepy way, but he never goes back and is afraid that someone might punish him or hurt him. like how tsumiki apologizes for the smallest thing at claims that she'll take any punishment.

it might also be because i generally dont like hcing characters with abusive parents haha. i know for a lot of characters its a part of what makes them who they are, but if thats not the case i feel like its always to excuse the character from some frowned upon trait they have.

its a bit difficult to explain so ill take an example from a different character from a different show. todoroki from mha was abused as a child, and its a part of what makes him him, and its a big part of his character, even if hes not in that situation anymore. i wont deny it. now, theres a hc that some people like to believe about bakugou's parents, specifically his mom, being abusive. this isnt canon. first of all everyone is entitled to hc what they want but a lot of the time i feel this is a way to explain his asshole behavior (also i just love mitsuki). i dont like excusing his fucked up actions and blaming his parents. i think that him being an asshole from the ideals that he himself made is kind of what made him interesting. he believes in what he learned from his own experiences that he and only he had. his stupid child thinking made him the gross person he is, and thats way more interesting than blaming his parents' behavior, like we can do with reason in todoroki's case. todoroki acts antagonistic at the start of the show because of the pressure his dad put on him.

now going back to souda, by making his dad abusive a lot of people linked that to him being a creep towards sonia. while i do see how his parents and their expectations might be a motivator, i prefer to blame souda himself for his wrong actions. i dont want to excuse his actions like that. its more interesting to see him grow from the ideals and reasonings he made himself.

***

now let's talk about his relationship with hinata! woo!

canonically, hinata is the person souda is closes to in the game, even though most of the time hinata is just tolerating his stupid behavior. except in his free time events maybe. their relationship is probably the biggest character development souda gets.

lets talk about his past a little more.

souda tells hinata that he used to be picked on for looking like a nerd. he had black hair (but i hc it more like dark brown, because reminder this is a post gushing about my fav character first and an canalization second), brown eyes (in hc world dull pale brown cuz a lot of the char's eyes are dull and pale colored) and glasses (hc: thin and rectangle shaped). he's not really a nerd... except that he's probably good at math and that type of things, since he builds machines and all. if i remember correctly, he says his bullied got away with what they did because he tends to be naive and trusts too easily. he was also used by his best friend that cheated off of his test, blamed souda for it (which he didnt really mind, showcasing how much not a nerd he is if he doesnt care about his studying and tests like that) and then kinda ghosted after feeling bad. but at the time souda was really heartbroken and felt betrayed, this whole situation gave him trust issues because that his naive heart cant tell when someone really wants to be his friend or if they'll drop him when they dont need him anymore.

souda and hinata start off being friends because souda didnt like any of the other guys enough (fair enough, hinata is the most normal one lol) and he tolerated him enough to go to the diner on the second island to spy on the girls with him. at the time kuzuryuu was still an asshole to everyone, but the two do get friendlier after the second trial (survivor boys bff agenda. i did say "bff coded" didnt i?)

souda tells hinata that after his ex best friend left him, he kinda went through something-- he dyed his hair, put in contacts, and pierced his ears (which i like to think was really scare to him) (and i assume this is when he started to wear bright colors, but i like to think he was always a fan of them (aiura and teru kinnie)) to make himself more intimidating (like i said in the list! remember the list?!) so that he wont be picked on. i assume the bullying he experienced was more emotional that physical, and he was probably called names for his nerdy appearance and was made to do tasks for toxic friends and somethings like that. tsumiki was physically bullied and she has bandages all over her design while souda rolls up all his sleeves and has his collar bone exposed while there is no marks on him. maybe he's have some scars from beginner's mechanical mistakes but thats hc territory.

anyways, because of his appearance change, he got some attention from flirtations girls and said that it had intimidated him. i imagine that while he was in his nerd looking mode, he didnt get much attention from the other sex so when they only started approaching him with the assumption he's some punk badass, that was probably a bit overwhelming for him and thats why he has a strained relationship with the female sex. he does kind of sexualize the girls, specifically in the second chapter, but honestly its not really that bad. it kind of even feels a little forced, like he said nanami had "huge jugs" and wonders if this "is what moe gap is" or something like that but he doesnt even say anything about wanting her lmao. the only girl he really shows any interest is sonia, and he mostly gushes about her beauty, instead of her body. not that thats really any better ofc.

he does get along with some of the girls or at least acts normal and not incel-y towards them, like whenever he's angry at saionji, when he felt awkward next to tsumiki or when he made minimaru for owari (though he did mainly do that to impress sonia). when alter ego enoshima suggest putting him between her boobs or whatever batshit crap she said he just yelled he's get crushed, so like. good for him for not being toooo bad. so yeah i do think there are reasons why souda's best friend woudlnt be a girl (for now, at least) and thats why it really is hinata.

and while hinata has other friends, his and souda's connection is special <3 some examples: he is friends with nanami, but they dont really get each other, or at least hinata doesn't feel too connected at her at times cuz shes like a robot and doesnt really get emotions to the full extent. canonically, his and komaeda's relationship is just not... bros, yknow? whatever it is its not "bros". he and souda are bros. i know that he and kuzuryuu consider each other brothers but i feel like while the friendship they have is great, hinata would be more comfortable just letting loose and being stupid with souda. they could connect by being stupid together and distracting one another from the bad in the world by being fun. cuz souda can be fun when he isnt stressed.

but since souda is an emotional character (i dunno if i mentioned this, if u didnt know souda beforehand hes emotional as shit and cries constantly, my beloved) they can get close the two of them emotionally and are empathetic enough to be able to comfort each other. that is, when souda trusts his enough to do that.

thats right. as much as id like to say souda is loyal like a dog, he doesnt really show that in the game lol. because of his experience with his ex friend, souda has trust issues, which i think i already touched upon (idk this is so fucking long im tryna go thru this one topic at a time but good god) and these issues come up in his and hinata's relationship, mainly chap 4. to put it simply cuz honestly the plot doesnt really matter in this context: souda suspects hinata to be a traitor, and because in chap 4 the characters are not allowed to eat, this probably makes him more stressed and causes him to think even more rationally. after the chap is over, in souda's last free time event, he invites hinata to the beach and order him to punch himself.

his actions are really silly here, but basically: hinata shows in souda trust, which makes souda feel like a bad friend, because he couldnt bring himself to trust hinata even though hinata didnt do anything wrong. he feels that their friendship is unfair and that he's the cause of this problem. so i guess he knows he'll get into an argument or a fight because of it, or maybe he wants to give hinata a reason to not trust him so he bring hinata to the beach so they could fist fight. but souda doesnt like to harm people cuz soda is a good boy tm so he asks hinata to do the work for him (which he does not do lol. they communicate and talk like normal friends). this is where souda tells hinata about his past being bullied, after in the last free time event hinata said he could see souda hanging out with the cool kids, so this is where he confides that hes not a cool kid. anyways souda comes to the conclusion that hes more scared of being a bad friend and a coward because of his trust issued that actually being betrayed, and tells hinata that he'll trust him. hooray!

in my mind they are suchhhh good friends. i dont mind shipping souda with a lot of the characters, but it think their friendship is the most important to me. i love them!

now lets get into his relationship with sonia!

i do, in fact, think that his crush on her is fake. i do think he believes in it. but he does not realize that the created a version of her brought on by her general politeness, her status as a princess and her beauty, in his mind that every day strays farther away from the real sonia. he denies her liking of the occult and other scary stuff that turns him off and he acts shocked when she admits to being a virgin (yikes. at least he doesnt really shame her. i think it just ruins his image of her-- again, yikes-- but he ignores it mostly. like he ignores her, the real her, most of the times)

i dont know why he needs a romantic relationship specifically so desperately, but i can think of why he wants that puppy love admiration that he has for her. she, or at least the way he makes her in his mind, is wildly out of her league. sure he wants a girlfriend, but deep down he knows hell never get her. thats why when she turns him down again and again he only gets hurt for like a minute. she even suggests she would rather he be the blackened in the 4th trial and he gets over it pretty quickly. this is the reason he wants to like someone out of his reach so much-- because he cant get hurt from her. he isnt being betrayed or heartbroken like his ex best friend did to him (yes this is about the trust issues again) because he never expected to be with her in the first place. by expecting failure by chasing a girl that is so so out of his league (a pretty perfect princess) he knows what he gets when hes turned down. to him, this is better than actually making an effort with someone he is genuinely attached to because in that case he might actually get his feelings hurt. we see this with his relationship with hinata, though it isnt in a romantic sense. sadly, after they become close friends, he still chases after sonia, but that might be because the player isnt guaranteed to play all of souda's free time events.

this stuff probably will take time for souda to understand. ofc this doesnt really justify his actions and creepy behavior towards her... i like to think that at some point (i constantly forget that dr is a game about killing each other and the apocalypse, but ig this can take place in here too since they both survive) he understands where his problem stem from, maybe with a conversation with hinata or kuzuryuu and he learns and he asks forgiveness from sonia and changes his behavior. the long and hard way!!! my boy did something stupid and he has to make up for it!!!! he will take responsibility because thats what good character writing is!!

itll probably be difficult to come to terms that the girl in his mind, that i do believe he actually fell in love with, is not real. he will cope <3

briefly i'd like to mention souda's and kuzuryuu's relationship i think they are bffs #2 honestly i feel that the both of them plus hinata could be the best trio they are such wholesome guys from all corners of the bro spectrum let the be friends<333 idk maybe even add owari. owari and souda sibling energy <3 this is just hc territory at this point. mioda and souda sibling energy!!!!! for more kuzuryuu and souda friendship read the fic Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi's Guide to Despair Disease: A How-To Take Care of Your Friends(?) Without Spiraling Out Of Control Story. still a wip.

hmmm that was a lot. lets talk about some hcs cuz believe it or not i dont just think of his as what he is canonically, but also what he could be!

ok lets talk about appearances (still canon atm:) he is short-- one of the shortest guys in the cast cuz fuyuhiko and teruteru dont count (thats a plus) and he is, sadly, pretty ripped. it makes since cuz he prob carries heavy stuff and moves his arms a lot for his talent of being a mechanic but when a (male) character is TOO ripped and not for a good reason (for example theres a good reason why nidai or oowada are physically strong cuz of their talents, and some characters are just himbos that deserve it like momota) i just look at them like :|. but it think souda deserves some strong arms <3 he is a cuddler. he would. i just dont think he's impressively ripped. like i think he could sprint fast, but not for long, and that girls wouldnt flawk him for his arms (if they already knew who he was) cuz all in all he is still a wimp loser and he will stay as such, please and thank you.

im a big fan of his narrow eyes. theyre just. dont make sense on him i love it. just like the sharp teeth, he is blessed with looking the opposite of his personality.

now lets talk about post canon appearances! in the world of canon, where the most tragic event in history happens and they were a part of the despair refinements and they live the neo world program (i always forget they dont live in my lil modern day normal aus, ugh), i think he would wake up still looking like how he did in his depair era. idk how long theyre like that but this is my personal hc: hair that reaches his chest, some ugly dulled down pink still sticking to the tips of his messy hair, no hat </3 but his hair is long enough that he doesnt have that hedgehog thing going on </3, no contacts, no glasses, probably scars over his arms and one over the side of his lips like that rio penguin from madagascar (also curse that show for making my tiny stupid child brain think there are penguins in the desert. at least there are such a thing as beach penguins... hmm). i think he would cut his hair to be shorter that it is in canon, a bit longer than hajime's and would resemble saihara's except brown, parted and no ahoge. he wold be dispensation by the length. he would also wear a cap (the normal way) and with his natural colors back, he would look very snuggble :)) he would hug everyone he would be the comfort giver at least to the survivors (this is the part where u realize how insame i am for him lol)

in a world where the end of it didnt happen, i feel like he would feel kind lonely for a while after school, and wouldnt care enough to wear contacts and would go back to glasses, and he wouldnt dye his hair (i just really like his naturality okay i know i said i liked him at first for his colors but this is character growth! he is learning that he doesnt need to be intimidating to get friends!!!) his hair would be a little longer than canon but not by much. i just have this au where he works in an office and there he meets kamukura (who, personality wise is just hinata but depressed) and they become bffs dont at me, and this is how he looks in that au, wearing a button down without the tie and the sleeves rolled up. i do think hed wear obnoxious colors in his free time tho <3

maybe i should get into ships a little? mostly i shipped him with tanaka because i love me some rivals to lovers that isnt angst filled and is mostly just petty. theys either be salty towards each other or tanaka would be very intense in his friendship and souda would be tsundere-ish, not the obnoxious type tho. imagine how denji acts towards yoshida. (denji and souda are actually really alike. before i knew anything about csm my twt mutual told me id prob like denji cuz i like souda and.. well he was right)

but recently i dont really focus on shipping souda with anyone as much as i focus on his friendship with hinata (am i the only one who watched gg compilations and put their faces behind the silly conversations? like i imagine their sprites laughing while the video plays. is that weird? them and also saihara&momota. cuz theyre the same relationship!!! tactful mc and their friendly dumb bro! they!!!). also if u recall i made that drawing of souda with a bunch of ships so its not like loyal lol.

also why are souda and tanaka together constantly in the anime... i think its the end song where theres a slide show of all the characters in class in places like a picnic and the beach and stuff and the two of them are almost together. theyre at the very least friends. that dynamic where they both look intimidating but theyre both so fucking stupid. frienemies. <333 they are so <333 theyd be friedns at least!!! thank you for the anime for realizing that.

i also like to imagine that he and tsumiki would be friends <3 they were both bullied, they both cry a lot and arent really taken seriosuly, at least when it comes to their emotions. i think theyd hug and cry together and be friends :) also as couple they could be very cute.

i dont really know what more to say... i think this is it! i dont know what about kazuichi souda makes me love him so much. he is flawed but not to the point of being unlikable. he is unique but can easily be related to! i care about him so much... the amount of aus i come up and put him in... i dont post so much about him, but know he is my love. ofc i dont have romantic feelings for him some ppl just thirst over their favs i wanna preface that aint the case. not cuz of his age (im close to him in age) but cuz i just... dont feel and romantic or thristy feelings towards anyone so istg if anyone says something stupid to me about that.

thats all! i think this is the longest post ive ever made? when i got this ask last night i thought id write about all those characters i mentioned at the start but then when i went to bed i thought about my answer and realized i have a lot to say lol.

to the one person who actually read until the end, if u even exist (who knows myabe this was for nothing, i still had fun), you're insane. and i hope u have a great rest of ur day. if u didnt know who souda was before this... well u certainly do now (also why did u read this?) sometimes i just gotta rant about something i adore haha. its been a while since i went all out cuz me and my irl dont watch the same shows. i hope i made whoever read this love souda! at least a little!

this post is 5787 words long... im not rereading this

[starwell-tarot]

hello darling!!! 🐿️🐢

hope your gloomy day still went pretty well, tell me about it!

some advice i can concentrate better on - as a mentionned yesterday it is definitly true that i like challenge and i got motivated by the idea of trying to find a way to make concentrating in class smth stimulating for my brain ofc i still need to find ways to it right but its a really charming idea to me! i also need to focus at home and get work done there to be able to concentrate better in class so its a whole process that im ready to try out with the method your proposed to me

motivation - feeding my soul, how poetic wow it is true that im very lucky to study what im studying rn and its actually stuff that are useful in life and if i dont find it interesting then maybe it can still be informations that i can share with others right? there is an enormous amount of material in every law classes so i wont be able to memorize everything but your advice made me see things differently and i actually want to try to remember most of it on the LONG TERM and not only for exams! once again it is an advice that really speaks to me and that i will think about when studying

balance - i actually LOVE lists/ plannings/ etc like writing everything i want to do for the day and packing my schedule with many different stuff like seeing many friends, doing productive stuff for school, doing my hobbies it really helps me see how i spend my time and share out the different things i do (so i dont do the same thing over and over again) and i cant believe i FORGOT about it like i actually stopped doing it and i forgot i am so grateful for this advice

relationships - my friends often complain that i dont share intimate things with them like my daily problems and all but i actually just dont see what they could do about it? anyway i still struggle with these things i'll try to question myself more often to see whats the right thing to do for everyone when im in a bad spot like you adviced

avoid stress - im really not good at dealing with negative emotions lmaooo its also gonna be a challenging point i'll try to believe as much as i can that stress is not an end its just a signal just like you said once again thank you for your works i'll try my best

self care - its so beautiful! i live in the city so im not that much in contact with nature but its true that whenever i go help my grandmother in the countryside it feels refreshing i just need more time to do so! now that i know its smth that could help me i'll keep that in mind and prioritize doing in these situations! im a taurus after all! even tho earth is only my third dominant element im an earth sign lmao

words of encouragement - everyone seems to be wrong about everything its crazy ajkdhdbnzev i really should be more humble its a problem but anyway yes even tho i think some people are stupid deep down i'll still take their opinion into consideration just in case when in fact i shouldnt with your advice i'll try to accept that sometimes peoples advices just arent for me and maybe they'll help someone but its not my case! thanks

daydreaming - yes in my experience heavy daydreaming has been because STRESS, bored in my life and obligations i have that i dont want to do the problem is that it really put me in problematic positions everything comes down to stress at the end so if i understand how to deal with my stress i wont feel the need to escape like this :/ i'll definitily think about your advice and when i notice im starting to daydream heavily ill try to ask myself why and to resolve the issue

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR READING!!!!! everything really spoke to me and ill make sure to apply it well in my life from now on i'll think about your kind words and do my best!

Hello! My gloomy day was comfy 😁

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lengthy feedback 🖤 it means a lot and it's very helpful.

I'm also glad to hear you're enjoying the perspectives and ideas the cards gave 🤔

I went on a whim with the challenge thing and then I was like ... Wait a sec .. didn't they say they have Aries placements? It just clicked at that point. I knew i was right on the money 😂

I was so taken aback by that high priestess card. Truth be told I too had the same mentality in high school! I studied just to know things. To grow wiser as an individual. (Went to a science college (it's a high school despite the name)) So I can kinda see it! Law is very very broad of a subject and there's a lot to study. But it's also so so useful in life! I actually had some law students save my ass when I had a very bad boss at a workplace once they helped me with the contract lol So yeah i definitely think you can become very wise as a law student!

Glad I can help you get back to your lists, too! And uhm, I don't think any human is ever GOOD at dealing with negative emotions. I mean, they're meant to make us uncomfortable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But being gentle and understanding and honest with yourself does make it better!

And I mean yes I see your point. Maybe your friends will not be able to DO anything about your problems but here's the thing. Keeping things hidden creates more stress in the human mind. It's like an extra layer. It's not just "I'm frustrated and confused" It's "I'm frustrated, confused, and keeping it to myself." If you talk to someone, it gets easier 😁 Plus, talking about what goes on inside your mind can actually put you on the spot in such a way you unconsciously organize your thoughts and find the answers yourself. (Like those scenes in movies when a character goes to rant to another one and they literally spend the entire time talking to themselves, giving themselves advice and thanking the other person although they did absolutely nothing 😂)

Literally when I was doing your reading i had "Go touch some grass, bro." In my head 😂 But yes, as an earth sign you probably could feel so much more grounded and peaceful if you interact with nature. 😁

And just wanted to remind you I answered your ask about the double interpretation tarot reading and you can send it to me anytime!

[manicpixiedreamcurl]

hello hello manicpixiedreamcurl, its brainrot anon here!

i just want to say that i love the gross brain emoji pls keep that for me! and ALSO,

I fully agree with you, a part two would be hard to write cause we already know whats gonna happen, you gave them a very heavily implied happy ending where they date and give each other kisses and yummy stuff what else could there be!!! it ended perfectly!! youre an amazing writer i couldn't ask for a part 2 cause part 1 is already perfect!!

also i just wanted to say that for some reason i started thinking of this eddie with the reader from TMYG, and how maybe shes still in a relationship with Andy but shes never comfortable enough with him to go all the way, and she so desperately wants her first time to be gentle and even fun if she can help it, and she hears her cheerleader friends talking about Eddie's skills and "yea hes a freak haha but he knows what hes doing and doesnt do anything you dont want " and she decides to take the risk and approach eddie and ask him to be her first and trusts him to do it well and its not totally unfounded, cause maybe she's been in a group project with him before or seen how he protects the freshmen or realizes his attitude is all a front. and when she asks it of him this bitter cynical eddie cant help but melt cause no one has put that much faith in him before and gives her the time of her life and everything gets really intimate cause hes so caught up in reassuring her through her nerves that he forgets this is supposed to be like all the other times girls have approached him, and then so on so on they fall for each other yes yes she breaks up with Andy (yay!!!) and happily ever after

ahskjdlfjfljf youve made me create an MCU (manicpixiedreamcurl cinematic universe) from your writing lmaoooooo

AGAIN I JUST WANT TO SAY, youre a great writer and i hope you keep having fun with eddie!!!

Okay so honestly read this and went I can't imagine tmyg reader ever doing that cause she'd just be soooo worried about how Andy would react if he found out and being called a slut etc etc but thennnn I'm like no I need to give my girl some credit actually, she's braver than she seems.

Going under the cut cause this got rambly.

And also!!! I literally wrote it lol and her and Andy were kinda on again off again on his schedule. So I really don't think she'd 'cheat' but during one of those off periods, actually yes could totally see it happening. Especially cause she has always had this little baby crush on Eddie, thinks he's cute and kinda a gent and that he looks after his little group, Jeff especially who reader has a tentative little friendship with. So literally omg actually could have happened for sure. But ALSO get this, early draft of tmyg was gonna be that Eddie and May were hate fucking secretly and he stopped it when he realised he really liked reader which then made May kinda bitter on two levels but I actually wanted it to be more about their friendship and the ways that can fall apart and also wanted Eddie to kinda be a real hopeless romantic who wouldn't really do that but my god it's all coming together lmaooo.

So yeah can totally see it happening that she'd hear about what he does with other girls and end up like shyly explaining everything to Eddie that she just wants it over with in a nice way with somebody who's going to treat her well and not spread everything around after oh my GOD. And Eddie would be kinda apprehensive like no maybe you wanna lose it to somebody you like and then she maybe like half confesses her lil crush and Eddie just can't believe it. Cue sweet virginity loss with Eddie half way through saying she shouldn't get back together with somebody who doesn't treat her right and he'd look after her like this and every other way if she lets him oh noooooooooooo 🥺🥺🥺

But also!!! Just lastly, you've landed on something I'm trying to get across with that reader which is that she's 'innocent' but she's not in naive. Like if she doesn't know what she's doing it's because she's inexperienced, not cause she hasn't talked about sex or, in my mind, read some interesting stuff ykyk. And she wants to do all this stuff pretty badly actually. Like honestly even Andy being a complete dick, if he hadn't just made it too uncomfortable and worrying for her, fully she would have just lost it to him cause she wanted it gone. That was sort of the general motivation to date Andy at all. Just to have a boyfriend and get all those awkward firsts over with, which obviously didn't work out.

This is rambly and incoherent but Jesus you have a fucking sway over my brain cells man. I can't write it. I can't. It would just be no happy endings remix lmao which I can't do but seriously what a concept honestly it actually would probably work out like similarly to tmyg like she loses it to Eddie and starts dating him but still feels this pressure to explain her actions to everyone with this less of the general 'eddie is a Satanist freak' judgement and more of the popular girls seeing him not as boyfriend material but someone you fool around with. Honestly wild.