#or a little rat man. he could be a little rat man

[asiantransformations]

From KorKor to GongGong.

JunHao couldn’t believe how far he’d fallen. Once, he had everything—a loving girlfriend, a thriving business, and a body that turned heads everywhere he went. Now, all of that was gone. The debt he owed the Chinese mafia hadn’t just taken his money or his livelihood. They had taken him.

It all started years ago when his business began to crumble. Desperate to stay afloat, he’d taken a loan from the wrong people. Rumors of the Chinese mafia’s brutal, unorthodox debt collection methods had been whispered around town, but JunHao never imagined he’d become one of their victims.

At 35, JunHao had been the epitome of masculinity. Years of waking up at dawn to lift weights in his makeshift gym-esque courtyard had sculpted his body into a oriental masterpiece. His biceps, thick and powerful, could split the sleeves of any shirt. His abs, chiseled and defined, were a testament to his discipline. And his manhood—well, his girlfriend used to blush just thinking about it. JunHao was proud of his natural endowment, which had always made him feel invincible, as if he were destined for greatness.

But that was before. Now, at 70 years old and trapped in a frail, withered body, he was a shadow of his former self.

Determined to confront the man who had taken everything from him, JunHao arrived at Mr. Chen’s opulent mansion. The doors were opened by two towering young men, their muscles bulging against their tailored suits. Their chiseled jaws and cocky smiles hinted at their borrowed origins. JunHao knew these weren’t their real bodies—probably stolen from aspiring athletes or struggling gym rats who couldn’t pay their dues.

The guards dragged JunHao through the mansion’s marble hallways, past walls adorned with priceless artwork. The air was thick with the scent of testosterone and power. Finally, they arrived at the courtyard.

And there he was—JunHao's old body, lounging in a hot tub like a god.

Mr. Chen, now inhabiting JunHao's former body, looked like a vision of strength and virility. His light, sculpted chest glistened with water, the ridges of his abs catching the sunlight. He grabbed his growing cock and let out a sexy, alpha groan. A black necklace with the Chinese Mafia's logo now rested against his broad chest. He oozed confidence, his powerful legs stretched out lazily as if he owned the world.

When he saw JunHao, his lips curled into a smug smile. “JunHao!” he boomed, his voice deep and commanding—JunHao's voice. “Come to admire your handiwork?”

JunHao's heart twisted in his chest. Hearing his voice come from someone else, especially someone who was desecrating everything he’d worked for, was unbearable.

Mr. Chen stood, water cascading down his muscular frame. He flexed his biceps, their size seemingly even more pronounced than when JunHao had owned them. “This body,” Mr. Chen said, running his hands over his chest and abs, “is a masterpiece. A gift from you to me.”

He laughed, grabbing his stiffening crotch with an audacious smirk. “And this? This is a real treasure. Your little secret, huh? What they say about Chinese people, isn't true apparently. Don’t worry, I’m putting it to good use now. Let’s just say it’s… thriving in the right hands.”

JunHao's face burned with shame. He’d always been proud of his virility, his ability to satisfy his girlfriend and leave her breathless. Now, Mr. Chen was flaunting it like a trophy, using it in ways that made JunHao's stomach churn.

Mr. Chen stepped out of the hot tub, water dripping down his thick thighs. “You know, JunHao, I’ve never felt more alive. This body—it’s a machine. The stamina, the strength… And let’s not even get started on the bedroom. Let’s just say the boys can’t get enough.”

He flexed again, this time making a show of clenching his pecs. “I don’t know how you kept this gem hidden for so long. If I’d known what you were packing, I’d have taken it sooner.”

JunHao couldn’t take it anymore. He dropped to his knees, his frail body trembling. “Please,” he begged. “I want my body back. I’ll do anything.”

Mr. Chen chuckled, the sound rich and mocking. “Anything, you say?” He gestured for one of his guards to get him another bottle of beer. Taking a long sip, he let some spill down his chest, then wiped it off with a slow, deliberate motion. “You couldn’t handle this body anymore, old man. Look at you—pathetic.”

He stepped closer, towering over JunHao. “But I’ll tell you what,” he said, his voice low and menacing. “I’m feeling generous. I’ll give you a new body—not this one, of course. This beauty is staying right where it is. But I can get you something… better than the sack of bones you’re in now. A younger body. Maybe even a little attractive.”

JunHao's heart leapt. “You’d do that?”

“Sure,” Mr. Chen said with a grin taking of his sunglasses seductively. “On one condition.”

JunHao's hope faltered. “What condition?”

“You’ll become my personal servant,” Mr. Chen said, leaning in close. “Every day, you’ll oil this body, shave this chest, and make sure it looks its best. You will also be my own personal cum dump. You should know how virile I am now and my precious liquids aren't to be just spilled on the ground. You’ll clean my mansion, pour my drinks, and watch as I live the life you gave up. And maybe—maybe—I’ll consider giving you a slightly better body in return. A body that will please my sexual needs more.”

JunHao's stomach kept being churned. The thought of serving Mr. Chen, of watching him flaunt what was once his, let alone serving and pleasuring a body that was once his, was unbearable. Yet what choice did he have? To live the rest of his days as an old, broken man was equally unthinkable.

“So,” Mr. Chen said, flexing his biceps one more time for emphasis. “What’s it gonna be, JunHao? Serve me, or rot in that pathetic shell of yours?”

JunHao looked up at his former body, now radiating power and confidence, and felt his world closing in.

"Okay."

[cece693]

SLASHERS MASTERLIST!

Michael Myers

Male Reader

My Pretty Boy Summary: M/n was a killer who used his good looks as bait to draw his victims in. Yet, you know who wasn't so keen on the idea? His boyfriend, Michael Myers. Sorry Summary: You knew Michael would never intentionally hurt you, but accidents do happen. And how can you stay mad at your boyfriend after he tries to make it up to you? Childhood Friends Summary: You couldn't remember your childhood, so with a plan to return to your old home in Haddonfield for clues, you never expected yourself to be tied to the boogeyman himself, Michael Myers.

Gender Neutral Reader

Captive Summary: You were a witness to one of Michael's killings, however, instead of killing you, he'd taken you as a prisoner. How odd...

Hannibal Lecter

Male Reader

Velvet Ring , Velvet Ring Pt. 2 and Velvet Ring Pt. 3 Summary: Before Hannibal Lecter became the Chesapeake Ripper, he was a mute boy sent to an orphanage. There he meets you—a boy who slowly wins his affection. However, nothing good ever lasts. Give Me Attention REQUEST: Hannibal smitten with male surgeon who doesn't want to be his friend. Me, Jealous? Summary: Hannibal's husband doesn't react to jealousy, but his little cannibal certainly does. You Can't Outrun Fate Summary: When M/N feels that Hannibal is losing interest in him, favoring being in Will Graham's presence, he flees. It takes a year or more but Hannibal returns, and won't let M/N leave again. Always, Forever Summary: M/N wanted this nightmare to end—he regretted ever meeting Hannibal Lecter, accepting his friendship, and more painfully, allowing the doctor into the darkest dwellings of his mind. Where M/N and Hannibal face each other during the Mizumono episode. Pretend Summary: You faked being attracted to Alana to gain insight into the FBI, never knowing that it would set off your boyfriend's possessiveness. Nothing Can Bring Me Back Summary: Hannibal was indeed a person suit, but also a safety net to a man who'd lost everything: his child, his lover...his heart. Hannibal/The Hunt crossover.

Gender Neutral Reader

No Feelings Allowed Summary: Hannibal seeks to destroy his feelings because love was something the little boy from 1945 knew all too well, not the monster that had replaced him. Birds Of A Feather REQUEST: reader is off-putting constantly? always has a blank expression and is just really morbid to the point of weirding out other people. And if possible, could reader have an obsession with rats? Platonic. Handcuffs Summary: You made Hannibal Lecter fall in love with you, however, that doesn't mean that your cannibal suddenly turns into a normal person. You can't declaw a predator, nor do you want to. Secretary Summary: Hannibal told Crawford that his secretary was 'pre-dispositioned by romantic whims' and traveled to the United Kingdom. However, it's rarely as simple as that. Protect Summary: You didn't care if people were against your relationship with Hannibal, calling you all names under the sun for managing to 'bewitch' one of Baltimore's highest socialites, but Hannibal was a different story. mano mažylė Summary: How would things turn out if Hannibal raised a child on his own? Not that good. Platonic.

Various

Gender Neutral Reader

Slashers With A Serial Killer Lover REQUEST: slashers' reaction when discovering that their lover is a serial killer

Jason Voorhees

Male Reader

Oh No, He's Hot! Summary: What m/n believed would be a rather simple job has him encountering a masked murderer named Jason. But, oh no, why does m/n feel weirdly attracted to the dominant man? Social Recluse Summary: Even if you accepted Jason and his 'hobby', he understood you didn't like interacting with people. Staying hidden in your cabin, luck isn't on your side when a camp counselor stumbles inside.

Norman Bates

Male Reader

Well Mannered Son and Well Mannered Son Pt. 2 Summary: The rain didn't stop, causing you to pull over and seek shelter at Bates Motel. The attendant was cute but raised a hell of a lot of red flags. But who said you were the most sane to begin with?

Ethan Landry

Male Reader

He's Not The Killer REQUEST: Ethan is being accused by Chad of being Ghostface. His boyfriend doesn't like people disrespecting him. You Belong To Me REQUEST: Ethan is obsessed with you. So when you manage to discover he's the masked killer, Ethan sees no other choice than to kidnap you. My Boy REQUEST: Friends think Ethan's stuck in a toxic relationship, unaware that the boy actually encourages it.

Brahms Heelshire

Gender Neutral Reader

Clean And Tidy Summary: The Heelshire's never posted that nanny ad. After all, you were perfect for the job. Not only were you Brahms's nanny, but you were also the caretaker of the house when the Heelshire's were away.

Stu Macher and Billy Loomis

Male Reader

Looks Can Be Deceiving and Looks Can Be Deceiving Pt. 2 REQUEST: Ok, but like imagine both Billy and Stu with a big tiddy goth! male! reader as their roommate. Reader looks intimidating but is actually really nice. Why? and Why? Pt. 2 Summary: M/n Prescott was a straight-A student, popular, good-looking, and kind. So why was he holding a gun and aiming it towards his sister? What was his motive? Can't Handle It? Summary: M/N didn't know what the big deal was. Why Billy and Stu were angry at him for making out with some girl when they were doing the same with Sidney and Tatum.

Will Graham

Male Reader

I Hate You Summary: Perhaps Hannibal Lecter was right. The darkness inside him was meant to be released, so why does it hurt when that acceptance isn't displayed by M/N, the person who he'd come to care for? Monster In The Making Summary: The Lecter siblings were obsessed with Will Graham but for entirely different reasons. While Hannibal wanted to deconstruct the puzzle that was the detective, M/N wanted Will to be his.

Joe Goldberg

Male Reader

Hello Summary: A new customer has entered the bookstore and, unsurprisingly, caught the attention of Joe Goldberg. After his disappointment with Beck, can M/N be his one true love? Obsessed Summary: It was supposed to be a one-night stand—fun with a cute guy you found in the club, but this was Joe we're talking about. Once he'd tasted you, he couldn't get enough.

Hannigram

Male Reader

Bite Me, Darling REQUEST: Hannigram fic with male reader who has a biting habit—this includes objects and biting Will/Hannibal.

[hotvintagepoll]

Dwight Frye (Dracula, Frankenstein)—he's my babygirl please please please please please i want to baby bird feed him flies and spiders and pick him up and make glitter edits of him and give him gross forehead kisses like he's my cat. in dracula he was so incredibly creepy that he was typecast as madmen for the rest of his life and he fucking hated it but by god if he didn't do a fantastic job. he steals the show every time he's up on screen just because he's so fucking deranged. i need him

Thelma Ritter (Rear Window, All About Eve)—So little! Barely 5 feet tall! So scrungly! Working class accent and regular person looks constantly surrounded by gorgeous people! Snarky as hell!

This is round 3 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Dwight:

He absolutely owns the entirety of Dracula (1931). Compared to the novel, his part is massively expanded and it's clear why. He's magnetically unhinged and his facial expressions are pure scrungle. And in Frankenstein, he begins the archetype of Frankenstein's assistant even if the character's name there is Fritz. He'd still go on to play other scrungly guys in later Frankenstein movies. But he's kinda the archetypal and progenitor of the scrungly lil guy. The scrungliest guy ever to scrungle. He's pretty much the blueprint for every mad scientist's assistant, and he's the best part of every movie he's in. He manages to make you feel sorry for the creepy little dudes, even when he's eating spiders and crawling across the floor. [editor's note: content warning for the "hunchback" stereotype and "madness" in the clips below]the "Rats" soliloquy:

I saw him in Dracula and frankly he has me bewitched. I could watch him do his silly routine forever. The gay tension with Bela Lugosi onscreen was frankly unparalleled. Kirk and Spock levels. I am chewing on the furniture

Played the weirdo little guy in Dracula AND the weirdo little guy in Frankenstein in the same year. Iconic.

The scrungles to end all scrungles! There's a reason why this man codified the manic vampire's familiar and the hunchbacked lab assistant for generations, because by God can this man be feral and scrungly: Whether he's soliloquizing about rats as Renfield, scurrying around Frankenstein's lab like a spider as Fritz, or skulking around dark alleys (and scaring the hell out of little baby me) waiting for a fresh heart to steal as Karl, if you want a scrungly little man for your classic film, Dwight Frye is your man. He has the range to play varying kinds of scrungle, with his wide eyes, his manic smiles, his soft, breathy voice, he is truly an undisputed scrungle master.

I honestly think it would be a crime to ignore Dwight Frye's scrungle factor. He played two of the prototypical creepy little henchman as Dracula's lackey Renfield and Dr. Frankenstein's hunchback servant Fritz, and I believe that his excellence in these roles absolutely shaped the future character tropes of the "Igor" type as much as Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff shaped the future understanding of Dracula and Frankenstein's monster. He's got it all from the looks, to the manic energy, to the crazed laugh, I'm telling you right now that I think he could win the entire tournament.

Thelma:

she wants to kill santa claus so bad for the first half of this clip. "thats fine. thats just dandy. mama wants to..thank santa claus too."

[hideodious-hat]

He wants SO BADLY to make Gihun see his POV. To come around. To see that the games are inevitable, that they're MERCIFUL, that Inho has worked to maintain the equality of them, because he sees that as priority 1. We see Front Man state again and again how important the equal playing field is, how hard "they" (he) works to maintain it. Look at the scene where the doctor and the pink organ harvesters are strung up as an example. Front Man apologizes to the players for the breach in standards. I believe he meant that genuinely.

Inho sees this system as an equitable and merciful way to quickly end the suffering of those already doomed, while offering a genuine opportunity of salvation to a lucky few. He (rightfully) sees himself as just another puppet - a puppet with control over many other puppets, sure, but people MUCH more powerful are still pulling his strings. He still has his part to play. And in the end, he's just as disposable as the rest of them.

He sees an equal in Gihun - another winner, another survivor of the games, and who could better understand each other? Who else could ever truly understand? And so... who else could ever possibly be his partner? Maybe he doesn't think of it romantically (consciously), but he wants Gihun to join him, Vader-style. He tried to get his brother to join him. He was rejected. Jun-ho didn't, couldn't, understand. But Gi-hun could.

I think Inho's obsession is two-fold:

1) He DESPERATELY wants Gihun to come to understand him, to agree with him. Front Man wants that power, that confirmation, that affirmation. Not only is Gihun his only real threat, his only real enemy (that he can engage - he thinks he can't fight the VIPs), but he represents the possibility that Inho is wrong about humanity. There's a thrill in breaking him, but more than that, if Inho can break that belief, that hope, then his moral stance is confirmed. This is inevitable. It's not Inho's fault. He can stop his moral dilemma, secure in the assurance that he's correct in his actions. And if Gihun can join him... so much the better.

But.

2) Inho also wants, equally or maybe even MORE, for Gihun to convince HIM. There's a little spark of goodness left in that rat-bastard, and it's fighting tooth and nail to come out. The actor himself said Inho is SUPER conflicted the whole time playing Young-Il. His buried inner self wants Gihun to be right. His buried inner goodness, tiny as it may be, wants Gihun's light to rub off on him. But that part of him is so muffled that he won't let it show (at least not in this season).

(This is why I hate it when people write him as PURELY evil and uncaring. He's so much more complicated than that and it's a disservice to his character and to the masterful storytelling and theme-weaving to just dismiss that part of him.)

he’s always analyzing him, challenging him, and testing his views.

‘oh so you mean you’re hoping more people from the other side died?…..interesting’

such a short little moment and yet it contributes so much insight to the narrative through the way in ho studies gi hun and interprets his words and actions.

[graceisinthelibrary]

For @royalbesties

From the "Send me a prompt, get a drabble" challenge. She asked for no 8, "How long were you planning on hiding this`"

I hope you will like it. It's set after episode 6 of Series 5.

It's not the first time I play with this idea, but it doesn't seem to leave me....

“How long were you planning on hiding this?” The question left him mortified. There was still enough elderberry wine in his system to make his head pound, but he wasn’t as drunk as before. Somehow he had made it up the stairs into his room for a nap. Now he was hangover and she had offered to look after the cuts all over his arms, face, and shoulder. He didn’t mind the little indulgence, but he had completely forgotten that her offer to treat his minor wounds meant he had to take off his shirt - well, what was left of it after the hike he and Tris had made through the Dales.  

After a decade of sharing his home with a woman like Audrey Hall, he should have known that nothing, truly nothing, escaped her notice. How she did it was a mystery to him, but his mother used to say that women were more perceptive than men and maybe that was the key. It didn’t matter now, because his housekeeper had found out his secret within less than a week’s time and it was no one else’s fault but his own. 

“Seriously, Mr Farnon…” She seemed a little embarrassed, at any rate flustered. She put down the small bottle with her witch’s ointment and disposed of the pad she used to apply it. 

“Just promise not to tell anyone,” he begged. “It’s personal!” 

“A grown man your age…” She sounded aghast and he felt how the pounding in his head intensified. Then there was the heat in his cheeks that had nothing to do with the elderberry wine. 

The comment about his age didn’t bode well with him. What was she implying? Not too long ago she had told him he had still plenty of him and now she was calling him old? 

“This has nothing to do with age,” he countered, hoping she didn’t think he was going through some sort of midlife crisis. He quickly pulled his shredded shirt over his shoulder and gulped down the coffee she had prepared for him. 

“When did you even get it?” She wondered. 

“Last week.” 

“I see…” 

He touched his right shoulder and flinched. It still hurt a little. “Oh bugger!” Sensing her eyes on him he looked up - most reluctantly - and awaited her withering assessment. If he feared anyone’s judgement it was hers. God himself could knock at his front door and tell him, he was about to go to hell and he wouldn’t mind. But she was something else. Her good opinion meant everything to him. 

“Can I… can I see it again?” She asked with a fierce blush spreading over her cheeks. To say he was surprised was an understatement. He was flabbergasted and secretly pleased. “Alright…” 

He turned his back on her and slowly pulled down the remainders of his shirt. For almost a minute she didn’t speak and he wondered if she was still there, but then he felt her fingertips on his shoulder blade and he gasped. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “I have to give you that.” She paused and then she added in a low voice, “Is it… did you… were it her idea?”

Her? He blew his cheeks. Did she mean Miss Grantley? Well, since she couldn’t talk about Helen, this had to be about Miss Grantley. Miss Grantley. The thought of his clumsy attempts to get her attention to prove himself - and the world - that he still got it, made him squirm. He had truly blown that one and he was definitely not eager to repeat the experience. 

“No,” he answered truthfully. “Not in the least.” 

Then again he felt her fingertips on his skin. They were tracing the outline of the horse that had been inked on his shoulder blade. A shiver flushed down his spine.   

“It’s Vonolel…not the rat, my horse from Ypres.” 

“Handsome creature.” He couldn’t get enough of her fingers on his bare skin, but the sensation was over too quickly when she removed her hand and told him to get decent again. 

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” He asked as he buttoned his shirt, a pretty useless action that at least gave his fingers something to do. “Not after I read the riot act to Tristan for inking a camel on his arse.” 

“Your secret’s safe with me,” she assured him with a chuckle. “How about a sandwich. I happen to have some jam…” 

[astronova-00]

Happy Birthday Sev!! Hope y'all will take this oneshot of an au that I plan for the future (my friend kinda cried...)

“What is that?” That being the subject of the kids’ attention. They were so focused on the vial that they didn’t notice someone walking in with a gaunt look on their face. Although they could sense the shift of change in the atmosphere. 

However, back onto the matter on hand…the kids couldn’t take their eyes off the vial. It seemed to give off a strange glow when Harry played around with it in his hands. As he did this, he caught the attention of the shadow in the background, who then made himself known, “What are you doing with that?” His voice came out strained and sounded more like nails scraping down the front of a chalkboard than the intimidation he wanted. 

Harry, and Ron jumped at the voice while Hermione had the decency to look guilty. “Hello Professor!” She happily replied while arming the other two to say something along the lines of that. They just mumbled nonsense under their voices. “How are you?”

“Enough chatter, I asked a question.” Severus’ tone suggested that he didn’t have time for games, and when Hermione got a good look at him, she could tell why. Dark circles creeped under his eyes and it seemed like he hadn’t slept in weeks. His hair looked dishevelled and even more greasy (as if that was possible). The professor looked as if his whole world was turned upside down. Although Hermione didn’t have the time to ponder on it any longer when Sirius bursted into the room, laughing along with Professor Lupin. 

“Oi! Whatcha doing here, Snivellous?” Sirius accusingly asked as he swung his arm around Remus’ shoulder to keep him balanced. The trace of alcohol was evident on his breath. Severus froze, not at the sight of his old bully-no he got quite good at not reacting to him-but instead at the smell. Flashes floated his head all at once and yet it was all a blur. The familiar bottle was seen in each flash with the smell of cheap whiskey lingering on. Same one that Sirius had now harboured. 

Severus was not in the mood for whatever childish games they would usually put up with. His eyes snapped down to Harry’s hand, and a twitch of emotion ran across his face. To tell which one would be hard to say. Ignoring everyone’s curious looks, Severus inched closer to Harry, and snatched the vial out of his hand. “Do not touch what is not yours.” He hissed with a vein popping from his forehead. 

Harry looked back at his professor with glowing hatred in his eyes, matching the vial in Severus’ closed fist. Ron hid behind Hermione with a sheepish face and apologetically smiled.  

Severus curses himself for being too distracted in his thoughts to not have seen the latter coming. Of course when there are so many changes that seem to have forced their way into your life, you don’t bother to acknowledge them until it’s too late. Sirius thrashed his way out of Remus’ arms (despite the other pulling him back) and headed straight for Severus but missed and landed on Harry. Who caught him right away and decided to lay him on the couch in the room they were in. 

Words flew around as the four of them gathered around Sirius and asked if he was alright. Severus couldn’t give a rat’s arse about him. He got what he came for and now he can leave before Dumbledore finds him with the leftover order members. That old man did not know what privacy meant when it came to over people. Severus left the fools in the room without making a sound (which he was very proud of) and wandered down one of the many halls in the manor.

A familiar pain struck through him. The very same one that has been clinging onto him, one that he cannot shake. It’s beautifully poetic in a sense. Warm hands always touch him but never there and they will never touch again. His ears ring with the soft whisper of their nights and the laughter of their youth. How they managed a lifetime together in so little time will always boggle Severus. He remembers everything and even when he tries not to, it sneaks up on him. Memories torn apart to showcase the struggle and how far they’ve gotten. Not far enough. It was never enough. All that pain and effort just for Severus to be left with a singular tag with his name on it. He finally understood the sorrow and grief when it came to these things. Pulled from his thoughts, Severus sees Dumbeldore from the corner of his eye. 

Albus clapped the other gentlemen’s hand and smiled. They seemed to be in a friendly conversation, so Severus decided to sit down at the long dining table that they’ve used for meetings. Severus had no doubts that he was going to get reprimanded for not showing up for the meeting tonight, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. There’s been a lot more of that recently. The urgency to fix all the wrongs he’s committed, seemed like an utter waste. What was the point? He found himself asking more often. What will he get out of all this?

As he sat down, Molly smiled at him and passed him a cup of coffee. Just like he likes it. She took it upon herself to get his preferences written down. Two sugars and one milk. Many guessed he liked it black but that’s what he loved. Severus’ shaky hands wrapped around the warm mug and the steam blinded him for a second as he brought it up to his lips. His eyebrows finally relaxed as he took his first sip and nodded at Molly who looked like a kid on Christmas. “Oh Severus! Let me get you something to eat with your coffee!” Before he could protest, she went straight into the kitchen and came out with a plate of whatever she had made. He looked at the plate and felt his stomach flip. He slipped his hand into his pocket where the vial was and moved it between his fingers. Thankfully those kids were dunderheads and didn’t realise what was inside. 

From the moment Severus walked in, Minerva did not take her eyes off him. Looking at him like there is something else to see. Peeling apart his carefully crafted facade and clawing deeper into him. His eyes floated to the wallpaper behind her and turned his mind off. Blank. Whispers of the past circling in a loop. He’s never felt more isolated, never more detached. It’s cold and empty inside…a feeling that has never quite left him. It’s a sad reminder that he is destined to always lose, no matter how far he gets. The clock was ticking and yet he was the one counting down the seconds. 

Albus Dumbledore was a man who was always able to command a room. Even if you didn’t know him personally or even like him, you respected him. While it be his morals or his powers, there was that common goal of respect that you’ve held for him. Severus was able to fall into that trap as well. Hook. Line. And Sinker. The old bastard managed to get the straggling members to head to the table and locked eyes with Severus. It was a gaze that meant there was something to be discussed in front of everyone with no escape nor time to come up with excuses. Severus clutched the vial tighter. 

“If I may,” Albus started off, gaining the other’s attention with his eyes still trained on Severus, “It has come to my attention that we have one last thing to discuss.” Leave it to him to have that cryptic sentence. 

Tonks had a keen eye for evidence, hence why she made a good auror, but her hair changed from her normal bubblegum pink to a navy blue, expressing her confusion. Her boss sat beside her with a protective look and then Alastor sat at the corner, nursing his flask. “Oi, spit it out already, why don’t ya!” Alastor muttered with a roll of his eye, and the other went haywire. “Some of us got places to be!”

Tonks let out a laugh and her face changed into a snout while her hair switched to a lighter blue and then rested back to her normal look. Kingsley covered his mouth ‘effectively’ with his mug of tea that Molly kindly brought over. Arthur helped her back, supporting the tray with the other mismatched mugs and teacups of hot water. Severus was the only one with taste (and strength) to handle coffee. The rest of the weaklings had their tea, while Albus decided to continue with his announcement when Sirius, Remus, and the kids walked in. Sirius had a drunken smirk plastered on. 

“As I was saying, Sirius has let me know that Severus has not shared all that he has learned within the few weeks that he has been gone. It seems that he is holding a vial that contains memories during the first war that will be crucial for the upcoming.” Severus’ eyes widened at this and slowly shifted his eyes to look at Sirius, who was already staring at him…as were everyone else. 

The thought of everyone’s eyes on him made him feel dirty. Like he had to scratch at himself until the hyponychium turned red. Goosebumps started to form over him, when he noticed that they were all looking for an answer. Sirius Black looked like he won the fucking lottery. Mouth wide open with his perfect pearly whites and even with the decay of twelve years in prison, his face looked even better. Severus parted his lips and silently cleared his throat and shifted his attention from Sirius to the whole room. “I-....I do not know what you are talking about.” He dismissed. 

However, since God was out to get him, he made Ronald Weasley pay attention to a conversation that was not quidditch related and decide to speak against his professor. There were only twelve people in the room and yet Severus felt as if he was on a stage giving a lecture. “Yeah you do! You literally yelled at us to give it back to you.” The ginger boy annoyingly added while Albus nodded his head. 

Severus glared at the boy and cleared his throat, “It has nothing to do with the order.” His words slowly pushed through his teeth and he took another sip from his coffee, using his free hand. 

Sirius barked a laugh and threw his head back, “You hear that, Moony? Seems like our little Snivvy got his own life that we weren’t aware of!” Remus looked as if he’d rather be anywhere but there. 

Severus was trapped, he couldn’t move. Everything he did was on a loop and his words were like someone else had written them for him. The muffled voices of everyone was coming back clearer into his hearing when suddenly the vial, he was clutching to like a lifeline, was being levitated out of his pocket. He couldn’t move, frozen in another thing that he didn’t have control over. 

“Severus.” Albus’ voice was a dangerous whisper, “Why do you have a pensieve on you?” 

The other’s face still remained calm, cool, and collected. He didn’t give any indication that he was affected by being called out. There were many times where Severus wished he stayed home from an order meeting and this is one time he greeted that he went. Everyone’s eyes varied from looking at him with curiosity or at the vial Albus was holding. “I am not withholding any information relevant to the war.” 

“But you are withholding something.” Albus pushed. 

“Am I not allowed my secrets?”

“Not if they are causing you to slip.” Severus opened his mouth to protest but Albus held up his hand, “Do not think that I have not noticed for the last few weeks, you have become sloppy. You have been giving quick, brief responses. Leaving just as soon as you’ve come in. I decided not to bring it up until someone else noticed and chose to do so with the company of trusted members.” 

Severus rolled his eyes at Albus' abrasive speech. “The vial contains muggle affairs…none of the sort that a respectable wizard would trouble themselves with.” However, this just gained the interest of Hermione and Arthur. “Severus! You know about those wonderful muggle devices? I would love to come together with you on that. I simply cannot get enough of the simplicity of the whole concept.” 

Severus gave the man a tight smile, “If I have the time.” A promise that would never be fulfilled, if Severus had anything to do with it. “However, if you would like to ask Miss Granger for assistance. As I recall she is a muggleborn.” 

“Oh yes! Mr Weasley, I would love to answer any questions you have!” The two broke off into a small conversation on the side as their voices faded in Severus’ head. His eyes drifted back to Albus who was asking Sirius for something. He couldn’t hear anything other than the beating of his own heart along with everyone else's’. The soothing rhythm from the others calmed his nerves. He could feel a bead of sweat on the side of his head, slowly rolling down. Once again, he snapped back into reality when Sirius came back with a wobble in his walk, and the bowl meant for the pensieve.  

“Either you agree to allow us to see whatever you are hiding from the order in this or we will force you too.” Albus’ cold decision came as a shock to both him and Minerva. 

“Albus! Surely the boy is allowed his privacy as does anyone else in this!” Minerva shouted as she stood up in her seat to make her point. 

“I have to think of the order and cannot allow my feelings to be involved with this matter. If the order does not feel safe-...”

“That is bullshit and you know it. Does Severus not matter in this situation? How dare you choose someone else over him, once again?” Minerva could have stopped and let Albus bash him but she didn’t. She has had enough, a little too late but Severus is not complaining…just tired of it all. 

“Minerva.” His voice heavy, “I’ll just get it over with. If being able to see that I am one capable of emotions is what these people who don’t know me need, then so be it.” Minerva saw his resigned sigh and sat back down with a look of pity towards him. He resisted the urge to glare at her. He did not need nor want pity for anything. Severus got up from his seat, carefully making sure his coffee wouldn’t spill and took the fogged up vial from his pocket of his trousers. He placed it in front of Albus at the head of the table. 

Albus had a troubled look in his eyes but his pride for the greater good overcame that. His hand slowly took the vial and uncorked it. “If everyone could gather around me.” Tonks, Kingsley, Molly, Alastor, Arthur, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Minerva, Sirius, and Remus cramped together around the old wizard. They all had different looks in their eyes that Severus couldn’t quite pinpoint due to him not really giving a fuck. 

“If I could do the honours, Black.” It wasn’t a question as Severus took the uncorked vial from Albus and poured it into the pensieve that Sirius was placing down. Sirius didn’t have time to react as they were being pulled into the memories of Severus Snape. 

Old polka dotted wallpaper that seemed like it was there forever. Everything was a faded pink in the bedroom and there sat two teenagers looking into a mirror and one on the bed. “I still think Sev could rock the look.” Said the dark brunette girl with hazel eyes. She was wrapped in a strawberry shortcake blanket and wearing a pair of jorts with beat up converses. 

“You’d think anyone could ‘rock a look’ as long as they got black hair.” A younger looking Severus deadpanned (with a heavy northern accent) as he stretched across the pink frilly bed sheets. His faded ‘Black Sabbath’ lifted up from his stomach and showed his happy trail and his jeans sagging. His docs were discarded on the floor and his bare feet were stretched out around the bed as well. 

“That’s Professor Snape?” Harry muttered to Ron, with a hint of flirtation in his voice. Hermione blushed and tore her glaze from the scene playing in front of her. “Can’t possibly understand why someone would call him ugly.” Hermione muttered softly as her blush stained her face. 

Ron looked at the two with disgust, “Lay off it.” 

“Am I wrong? Also pass me my bra.” The brunette asked with a hand outstretched towards Severus without looking behind her. The third teenager, the one beside her, passed the black bra from Severus to her. “Thanks.” She said as she uncovered herself and let her breasts fall down. 

The group looked around the memory and instantly covered the three kids’ eyes with looks at Severus. However he had a soft smile on his face and couldn’t take his eyes off the scene playing in front of them. “What the fuck is this Snivellous?” Sirius yelled out as his drunken state was sobered quickly when Albus had called them over. Must have taken a potion when he went to get the pensieve. “It’s my childhood.” 

The memory continued on. 

“Eden, I would love it if you didn’t flash our poor boys in my house. We are only fifteen.” A younger Lily Potter neé Evans walked into the open doorway with a six pack of cheap beer in her hand and a lighter in her other. Eden laughed as she coughed into her elbow. 

Hearing her voice snapped Sirius, Remus, and Harry up to look up to her with slight tears. 

“Only fifteen she says as she brings in alcohol and a lighter for underage smoking and drinking.” The darker teen who had dreadlocks and was lying on Eden's back. He had black jeans with an ‘AC/DC’ shirt on, and beat up converses as well. His ear was surprisingly pierced, which dangled a flat, black lighting bolt. “And here I thought our little Miss Princess Perfect was the good one.” He earned a laugh from Eden and Severus.  His twist of words also earned Lily giving him the bird. 

“My mother smoked and drank?” Harry exclaimed as he locked eyes with the memory of Lily Evans. Severus silently answered his question with a nod of his head. 

“Shut the fuck up Daniel before I kick you out. My house, my rules.” Lily stuck her tongue out as she placed the beer next to Eden and flopped on the bed next to Severus. “Move over.” 

“Looks like someone got broken up with.” Eden said as she pushed Daniel over of her and propped up on the inside of her hands with her stomach on the rug. “Tell us what happened, we know you wanna.” She said with a roll of her eyes as she popped open a can of beer and passed one to Daniel who did the same for Severus. 

Tonks and Kingsley raised eyebrows at each other before facing Severus with a look of curiosity. Neither had the guts to speak up until Alastor did. “Albus I don’t know much about you but all I see is a bunch of kids from the past. Ain’t nothing here that wicked boy is hiding.” Sirius flashed his eyes to his former boss and widened his eyes. Within all the years of working for him, he'd seen Moody a compliment. Hence why they also called him Mad-Eye. Sirius snapped back to Remus when he started to whisper something. 

“She looks young.” The words echoed around the empty space where the next memory seemed to be setting up for, Harry inched past his friends and closer to his godfathers. Sirius swung his arm over his boyfriend and looked at Harry with pained eyes and a weak smile. “I didn’t even think that Lily would be in these…”

“Why wouldn’t she be? She was my best friend.” Severus responded as he walked into the house, motioning for the others to follow him. “We should be in here.” He muttered as he opened the door. 

“How is it that you remember these? That isn’t possible.” Albus asked as he followed Severus. 

“It’s impossible to forget.” Severus whispered, before coming to a stop. 

The others filed in and the famous Golden Trio looked at one another for the first time in minutes. Neither one had to say anything to already know what they were going to say. Minerva walked behind them and had a wry smile on her face, and ushered them inside the room. 

The room was the same before but it was obviously a different day. Outside the small window, it was murky and a tough tree branch was racking against it. The rain, pouring harder than before. The four teenagers were still in the room except now they were wearing pyjamas. Lily and Eden had a similar set of silk camisoles with the matching shorts. But Lily’s were a groovy forest green with a touch of brown and dark red mixed in, while Eden’s were a simple blood red with a little lace bow. Severus and Daniel were wearing white wife beaters and black gingham patterned pants. Severus and Daniel shared the bed while Lily was helping Eden blow up the air mattress. 

“Thanks for letting us crash for a couple nights.” Eden thanked in between gasps, trying to regain as much air as possible. 

“I said anything and I mean it. It would be pretty horrible if I let you back at Sev’s while Tobias is there. Besides, think of this as our redo sleepover.” Lily smiled as held onto the almost full mattress. 

“How so?” Daniel asked as he opened a bag of crisps and started to shovel them into his mouth and hand some to Severus. 

Severus watched closer on how his past self and Daniel interacted. He seemed to be taking everything in, not letting him wander until they captured everything. Severus found himself sitting on the bed and staring at Daniel with a face of woe. Severus closed his eyes and let the conversation that he knew all too well flow around him.

“Lils, Jacob was a jerk and you knew that. Besides just last week, you were saying how you wanted a little fun and nothing serious. Why is he bothering you so much? He’s your average brown eyed desi. I mean sure your parents are just bigoted in general, but that’s just cokeworth’s edgy charm.” Eden complained as she couldn’t see the reason why her close friend was acting like this. 

“It’s because she has a crush on James Potter.” 

The room went silent and Lily went red and joined Eden with putting on the bed sheets for the two of them. 

Severus looked at the others to see them truly paying attention as to what was happening. It was like his life story was becoming more of a soap opera than anything else. His eyes lingered on the Potter spawn and for a moment, just a moment. He felt a wave of protection surge through him for the boy. 

“S-Sev, come on. You know I would never betray you like that.” Her perfect English accent, coming out stronger than ever. As if it was a reminder of where they really were. 

“What am I to say? It’s not as if he is unattractive. I cannot blame you.” Severus forced the words from his mouth as they sounded more posh than before. “However he’s a little bastard who thinks his daddy’s money will get him anywhere in life.” The black haired boy sneered, as he shoved the salty crisp into his mouth.

“James wasn’t the bastard, you were Snivvy!” Sirius argued as Harry paid no mind to him. 

“Yes but he has stopped those silly pranks that Sirus and him pulled on you.” Lily tried. 

“Oh yes, because that makes everything much better. Only bullied me for five years, ‘but now I want to get into someone’s pants so I must look like I can do good.’ Sounds like he really cares for you Lily.” Severus snarked back as he faced his back away from her. Lily huffed and layed down on the pillow and covered herself up with the blanket. “Fine.”

“Fine.” 

Awkward silence once again until Eden decided to break it up, “What do you call a pig that practises karate?

This time Daniel couldn’t hold his groan, “What the fuck do you want?” 

“Bitch I asked you a question.” Eden repeated with a threat. 

“What do you call it?” Daniel answered with his voice three octaves higher. 

“A pork chop.” Eden deadpanned before she started giggling at her own stupid joke. 

“That wasn’t funny.” Daniel rolled his eyes. “So just like you then?” Eden replied. 

“Because I am an excellent boyfriend, it is practically my job to be funny. Someone has to be.” Daniel yelped as Severus punched his stomach from not moving his face from the wall. 

“Well a good boyfriend should be like that regardless.” 

“Ay! Sev tell ‘em I’m a good boyfriend.” Daniel whined as he sent air kisses to him. 

“You’re alright, I suppose.” Severus shrugged as he wrapped his legs along Daniel. “Fuck you.” Daniel replied as he snuggled into Severus.

 The four of them laughed. The argument was long forgotten but never gone. It was just shoved underneath everything where later it could explode back into their faces. Severus waved a dragon heartstring wand over them and the lights turned off. The comfort of the rain falling casted them to sleep. The girls cuddled with one another and shared the heavier blanket. While the boys’ limbs were tangled in the early stages of slumber. 

The others thought that a new memory was going to flash by but they stayed there in the quiet room. It wasn’t until movement from the two boys that the order turned their attention back to it. 

Severus turned on his left side to face Daniel who was doing a poor job of sleeping, “Wake up, lover boy.” 

Daniel groaned and shoved his hands in Severus’ face. “Shut the fuck up! That was one time.” 

“But I can be your lover boy.” Severus continued on in a sing-song voice. “SEVERUS!” Daniel shoved his face into the other boy’s chest with his face turning a deep purple. “Promise me that you’ll write until I come back for Christmas?” Severus whispered in their bubble of peacefulness. 

“You can’t get rid of me that easily. We aren’t a quick fuck.” Daniel reminded him as he lifted his chin and signalled for a kiss. Severus leaned down and met his lips there. They shared a passionate kiss and then Severus dragged Daniel into a cuddle. “I love you.” 

Severus wiped a tear that escaped from his eye and got off from the bed. He walked down the room as the others watched him. 

“Who would have thought Sniv had a boyfriend?” Sirius asked no one in particular. 

“Did my mom always curse like that?” Harry’s words left his lips before he could process the scene between Severus and this so-called Daniel. He was having trouble wanting to leave the pensieve or have the rare opportunity to stay and hopefully see more memories of his mother. Perhaps getting to know Professor Snape better too. Then again, Harry and his friends were fifteen and had never even touched drugs or alcohol, so clearly there were a few things to discover. 

“Severus.” Minerva’s hitched voice told him what he needed to know. “Yes, he is.” The clipped answer let the silent conversation between the two of them come to a rest. Minerva lowered her eyes and mumbled something under her breath that not even Albus could pick up. 

“What…what exactly are we going to see here? Obviously it is your childhood, but are you sure it’s even morally right for us to see?” Hermione spoke slowly, trying to make sense of what she just processed. Ron looked at her like she had a second head, the two boys agreed with one another that they wouldn’t be talking. It was too raw for them to even voice their opinions about their most hated Professor, and they wanted to keep it that way. 

“Miss Granger. Obviously,” Severus drew out his word like he had done in their previous year of Hogwarts. “The moral rights of someone disappear as soon as they join a cult or a group trying to defeat said cult.” His face twitched in a minor annoyance and led the others out of the room and there they were in some sort of park. 

The grass swayed around Severus and Daniel, who were lying with their heads touching and faced up to the sky. “I want to kill myself.”

“I know.” 

It faded back and suddenly the group was in another memory. 

The room had the cigarette smoke stained wallpaper peeling off so badly, you could see the original drywall and plaster. There was an old wooden table in the middle of the kitchen with a beat up refrigerator and a barely working stove. They had to flick a match underneath it for it to work properly. A handed down rug covered the splintered floors, not that the rug mattered. Everyone wore their shoes inside the house regardless. A familiar looking Eden, though looking much older and had an IV attached to her, was cursing at the stove and finally managed to catch a flame.“Eggs?”She asked in a way that wasn’t really asking. 

An older looking Daniel walked through and smiled at her while raising up two fingers. She nodded and cracked a few eggs into the pan and watched them fry. She peeled off the plastic from the fresh bacon she bought the night before. Once the eggs were done she flipped them, “Danny, mind watching the food? I’mma go talk to Sev and see if he gonna get out of his shell.” 

“I hope you have better luck than I did. I’m lucky I got out there with both of my shoes.” Daniel laughed but his face showed a different picture. 

Eden walked out the doorway of the kitchen and climbed up the old stairs while skipping a few of them and dragged her machine up the stairs. She shuffled her hands against each other and then closed her hand into a fist and raised it to knock on the door. “Sev, open the door.” 

“Leave me alone Eden.” His muffled voice came out through the tattered door. “I have nothing to say.”

“Maybe but you got to listen to me.” Eden slid against the door and brought her knees to her chest. She took a second to get her thoughts and breaths together. Everything was different and everything was going to change. “Sevvy, you gotta listen to me real close. ‘Cause I’m only gonna say this once.” She waited until she heard a sudden movement from the other side before continuing. “The fact that you are feeling guilty about whatever the fuck happened during school proves you better than whatever that bitch said.” 

“She is not a-” 

“I’m not done and yes she was. Just because we hung out together doesn’t mean that she’d really give Danny or I the time of day. Besides you see the looks she gives the two of you.” 

“It’s not her fault. That’s just how she was raised.” 

“Yeah, well you were raised to be a bastard but now you only act like one.” Eden knew that she was able to get a laugh from Severus when he went quiet. “Don’t push Danny out. I ain’t gonna be here any longer and I need to know my boys can do good without me.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“You know it’s true. Live on for me and take care of him.” Eden’s voice wandered around Severus’ head. 

The memory closed and the group was left in the dark while Severus was left staring in front of him. 

“When was that, sir?” Hermione’s weak voice spoke up as she fidgeted with her fingers. 

“1975, the same year as the last memory. Although that was during the summer after my fifth year.” 

Hermione hummed and dared to look Severus in the eyes. “Is that when you called Lily Potter a Mudblood?” There was no flinch in her tone of words nor did she let herself waver. 

Severus didn’t turn to her, “Yes.” 

Remus looked more meek and into himself which startled Seveus but paid no mind as his eyes wandered off to Sirius. His face was cold and stoic but his eyes always told a different story. There was a real rage that Severus hadn’t seen in years but there was also a sense of guilt and defeat. A sadness gleamed to them that made Severus’ stomach turn. He did not ever want to be put into the position of ever feeling sorry for one of the guys’ that made his life a living hell. However he knew how Lily left an impact on all of them and him calling her that disgusting, vile name was the cherry on top for the behaviour. 

Harry looked between the three adults but his face surprisingly didn’t give away anything. He saw the memory a few months ago of how his father and godfather hung Professor Snape underside down and was laughing like it was nothing. It wasn’t nothing, it was sexual assault and no one batted an eye at that. Not even his own mother who had laughed at her best friend before he called her that disgusting, vile word. 

An owl’s hoot interrupted Harry’s thoughts as he faced in front of him. 

“Oi Sev! A birdie’s here for ya!” Daniel’s deeper voice rang out as he cleared the cluttered table away from the old bills and paperwork. They were sitting in the kitchen of Severus’ house and the light above them was turned off. The sun peeking from the old, ratty curtains lit the overview of the table. 

“Alright I’m coming.” Severus shouted back from somewhere else in the house. 

“Y’a I know you were...” Daniel laughed to himself as he lit his fag and took a puff. 

Severus ran down the stairs with his hair half dried and his shirt backwards. “You fucker, I thought someone was here. I could have put my shirt on properly.” 

“Next time don’t let me fuck you in the middle of the day.” Daniel smugly said as he let out a cloud of smoke in Severus’ face. 

Ron pulled a face and Molly and Arthur looked at Severus closely. “How come you don’t curse nowadays, Sir?” Tonks asked as her hair turned shorter and pointy. 

“I have to keep up the facade.” Severus simply answered. 

“Get that out of here.” Severus whisked his hand back and forth before he took a seat next to Daniel. “At least smoke the good one.” 

“Shut up.” 

Severus laughed and turned his attention to the owl and used his wand to take the letter attached to her off. He unscrolled the letter and rolled his eyes fondly when he saw the Malfoy crest at the bottom. The wax looked fresh, meaning whatever was in this letter was urgent. 

No one but Daniel and Severus knew what was in the letter and Hermione looked disappointed that she couldn’t read it. Albus had a distance, nostalgic look in his eyes as he turned to Severus, who was watching the scene unfold in front of him. 

Severus’ eyes widened and he turned to his boyfriend, “Dan.” Severus passed the letter to him and watched the cigarette fall out his mouth. “Sevvy.” Daniel took a deep breath and looked at him, “Whatchu gonna do?” 

“I need the money…besides it would just be a few higher end potions, ain’t like it's hard.” Severus lowered his voice and his head on the table while Daniel wandlessly and wordlessly summoned a pen for his boyfriend. “Take it and then cut it off. Yer Da fucked you up with that thing that happened last year and you don’t need more stress. I’m takin’ a couple of more shifts from the store, so you can have the house all day for them potions. Understand?” Daniel listed off as he handed the pen off to Severus. 

The other looked at Daniel with disbelief, “Dan, I can’t ask you of that.” 

“Good thing you ain’t.” Daniel stood up from his seat and pressed a kiss on Severus’ slightly sweaty head and wandered off, leaving Severus with the decision. 

Not thinking too hard, Severus let out a sigh of breath and wrote a brief letter back. Saying how he appreciated the opportunity and wanted to start as soon as possible. He needed to make it up for Eden, he promised her. 

“You were forced?” Sirius couldn’t stop the words from coming out his mouth and felt very conflicted. 

“Not at first.” Severus replied, leaving no room for questions. He knew after the last few memories he would have to explain everything. 

Flashes of the past formed in front of them, ranging from young Severus and Lily hanging in an old looking park or a younger Eden giving Daniel and Severus a thumbs up as she walked into the office in the fancy hospital. Scenes of Severus playing piano and singing in a club, wearing eyeliner or punk clothes played. Secret dates between Severus and Daniel, them swimming in the river or running away from an older man who looked to be Severus’ father. Lazy mornings of Seveus and Daniel in post bliss while naked. The two making out in some alleyway. Singing on the streets while carrying half-filled bottles of cheap whiskey.  Severus cries over the corpse of his mother, switching straight to a jail cell and then another funeral with the blurry name of Eden Wilderberry. However, after laughter and melancholy switched and overlapped each other, the headache from everyone came to a stop when they stood in Severus' childhood home. This time Severus looked just as he did now, perhaps a few years younger. 

The broken doorbell gave a pathetic ring before it fuzzed out. Severus, who was washing the dishes-muggle style, flicked his wand up his sleeve and headed for the door. He opened it after looking through the peephole and seeing someone wearing a full black suit with badges pinned to their left hand breast pocket. Dread creeped onto every bone in Severus’ body and he went weak in the knees. He knew that three weeks without hearing from Daniel was strange but thought nothing of it. He plastered a fake smile and opened the door, “How can I help you?” Thankfully he was wearing the only pair of muggle clothes that didn’t have holes in it. Force of habit. 

“Are you Mr. Swan? Daniel Thomas Swan’s brother?” The man asked in a posh voice as he held his composure. 

Severus blinked before nodding his head, “Yes I am.” He’s sure that Daniel spelled someone to not question the fact that Severus was pale as snow while Daniel was dark chocolate.  However his thoughts feld when he noticed a few more in full uniform soldiers coming out of a limousine. They had the Great Britain flag folded up and a blank face. “Why?” That one word tore his life apart especially with how choked up he got. “What’s happening?” And yet he was fully aware, hence why his guard was done and tears were threatening to fall. 

“No..” Molly gasped as she put her hands over her mouth and looked to Severus with tears. 

“Mr. Swan, I apologise.” The soldier bowed his head and continued on, “Your brother was a great man and an even better soldier. He led his squadron through an airstrike mission and they got striked down. He left a letter, we will be back in two weeks with all his personal belongings and all finances set for the funeral. Many blessings and may God watch over you.” The soldier handed off the letter as the others made their way to the door and gave him the flag and saluted him. One by one, they marched off into the limo and drove away.  

Severus numbly closed the door and fell to his knees. His eyes became clouded with tears and he couldn’t think straight, not anymore. He was wishing this was a joke. For once in his life he wished this was a cruel joke they were playing on him. He couldn’t let out any sound but he pushed his head to the dirty floor and rocked back and front clutching the letter in his hands, the flag discarded somewhere else. He was shaking and couldn’t stop, the pain he knew wouldn’t stop. A raw scream ripped from his throat and the tears couldn’t stop. It was too excruciating. 

A gasp brought the teary eyes off the scene in front of them and forced them to face Severus. Minerva pulled him into a hug where he let his hair cover his face and the others turned their eyes back to the scene. Albus looked on with no expression. 

Severus slowly turned on his back with his face looking horrible, snot and tears covered his face and he turned to the letter in his hand. He brought it up to his face and slowly unpeeled it and unfolded it. 

Suddenly the memory changed the point of view and they were able to read the letter that Daniel left to Severus. 

Sevvy, 

I’d think you would be proud that I am able to write correctly instead of how I sound with my accent. No one appreciates the northern culture in these posh parts. The Slavics are getting crazy and on the news with those basketball players in the states and their scandal is not helping. The air feels nice but I cannot wait until you are in my arms again or my cock is buried in your arse. Sorry, it seems that I am getting off track. I want you to know that I love you more than there are stars in the sky, more than the fags that I smoke, more than my whole entire existence. However, writing this with the intention that you are reading this, brings a pain to myself that I haven’t felt in over thirty years. You came into my life and nothing has ever been the same for the better. Through the deaths, trauma, torture, failed therapy sessions, and mini music careers, we have shared…I would never choose differently. I will always choose you like you have always chosen me. I could write a whole novel, a whole series about you that will never end. but I want to keep this short and small. (I will send you the journals I’ve kept over here) Remember the promise the three of us made when we were just five years old? We cannot leave without a bang? I have done more with you than I ever thought was possible. You truly brought the light back into my life (not just because you are white) and I could never repay you for this. Promise me Sevvy, that you will not give up. Fight until the end and make sure you kill that Voldemort bastard for me? Just a little..or a lot. I’m in the air force now Sev, I can authorise this type of shit. I love you forever and always. 

Yours truly, 

Daniel T. Swan 

Severus blinked and lifted his head from Minerva and suddenly everything went black. The group found themselves back in the dining room in Grimmauld Place. Molly looked towards her grandfather clock with the enchantments built in and noticed it was almost three in the morning. “Severus.” Her silent apology was appreciated as she looked at him with Arthur behind. “I will see you all at the next meeting, the children must be heading to bed.” It was a weak excuse but Severus was grateful for it. 

“Ah yes Molly. Please forgive me.” Albus turned on his grandfather's tone and bid them a good evening as they walked out the room and headed upstairs to their rooms. Soon enough, everyone made their own excuses to leave Albus and Severus alone. Sirius couldn’t have waited any longer before he fled with Remus giving Severus a sad smile and headed along with the other. Minerva pressed a kiss on Severus’ cheek and wished him ‘a good night’ as well while she glared at Albus. Then it was two. 

“Take a seat, my boy.” Albus’ voice travelled from one ear to the other as he took a seat at the head of the table. 

“I would rather stand. Actually, I would rather ask you. What the fuck do you think that you are so much as intitled to? You ask me to spy on you? Fine, I did it with no issues. But asking me to completely expose myself in front of these people? I’ve never wanted anyone to ever know about Daniel, and now what happens if any of them gets captured? The Dark Lord would violate their minds and then everything you’ve built for is gone because he’ll know that I have a weakness and will kill me. And then Lily’s son will be doomed because I just fuck everything up!” Albus watched as Severus ranted as he stroked his beard and his thoughts wandered. 

There was no doubt this was true, however Albus couldn’t find it in him to care. “I care for you, Severus. You know that I have for these last couple of years. However I wanted you to be free of all troubles that you’ve kept for yourself. I know that it isn’t easy losing someone that you’ve loved-”

“Love. I still love him and that will never stop.” Severus interrupted as he took a seat next to Albus and played with a necklace underneath the layers of robes he wore. Severus didn’t want to hear the old man’s excuses or pity. “Did you know that we were supposed to be married that year?” Of course he wouldn’t have known but what else could Severus say. 

“We were going to be married and I found out that he was killed on July 7th of 1992.” Severus got up and headed to leave, “Today was the third anniversary since his death and you have stolen any fond memories that I could have of him.” 

Silence accompanied Albus as Severus left with his grief and pain. Something in today had broken between the two of them and it wouldn’t be until a few years down the line that Albus realised what. 

[constantineshots]

“being an apologist is bad” don’t care i’m a john constantine apologist

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!

[marclef]

Day 7 of whatever this Pizza Mess is!!!

i bring you Rats!!! the character i had written down was just Brick, but why not have a couple extra friends in? let's just hope they're not anywhere near the pizzeria.... 👀💧

(also haven't been too happy with how i've drawn these rats before... so i decided to change them up a bit! i like them a lot more now 😁)

[fauvester]

uh oh! triggered some phantom trauma! (dannymanny iteration (c) nicktoonsunite)

[crustaceousfaggot]

So we can all agree that when Hickey told Gibson "He [Crozier] sees something in me... It could go anywhere. Anywhere." he was implying he was gonna fuck that old man, right?

[hickeysgodcomplex]

I'm back! And gonna talk more about Hickey! (Everyone's shocked i know shh shh shh!)

Gotta talk about the Billy scene!!! First of all, Dr. Goodsir giving up his sweet bedside manner cuz he hates these fuckers is soooooo funny. He's a bitch and i love him SO MUCH!

Second of all, i've seen people saying, one person at least, say it was a mercy killing. And i completely agree!!! I just also wanna talk about it cuz im having fun talking about shit.

So, the way Hickey immediately starts frowning when he sees Billy in the tent. And the way he KEEPS frowning almost the entire conversation. And even giving Goodsir that accusing look. Like it's HIS fault Billy is sick. Or like he's mad that he's telling Billy and himself that he's THAT sick.

But the way he's touches Billy's knee!!! The little gentle squeezes. And the way he puts his hand on Billy's chest when he tells him to be calm. And the way Billy is not being calms because he knows what's coming. He's lost his usefulness and he KNOWS that Hickey is gonna kill him.

But also, the way Hickey smiles at him is like, its not sinister. It looks like he's actually trying to comfort him. And the way he blinks so much. Hickey is upset. He's feeling feelings about Billy dying and he cannot have that. So he smiles, and pushes it down.

And then the way he fucking stomps across the little space to get his knife. It's like you can hear him thinking "he's dying. I can't let that happen. Wont watch it happen. So im just gonna get it over with. I'm just gonna kill him. Easy peasy."

But also like, the look he gives Goodsir when he's killing Billy. The way he just fucking stares and frowns at him. And he only starts frowning when Goodsir really starts fighting him. It's like he's thinking "why is he trying to stop me. Doesn't he understand that this is right? That it's what's best?"

Like he seems genuinely frustrated and confused that Goodsir is trying to stop him. And i think it's because at that point, for Hickey, in his mind, there's no other option or choice. They have to live. Billy is already dying. He can't watch Billy waste away and have feelings about that that make him weak. So Billy has to die. Right now. So that they can live.

It was a mercy killing. But for himself as well. So that he didn't have to watch Billy die. Which is of course in line with his selfish nature. But i still find the way he goes about it and the way he reacts to it, fascinating.

[ratatatastic]

genuine nightmare of a woman

[crimsonmonsoon]

Some more Qi Rong in anticipation for episode seven

[francy-sketches]

If I'd actually posted all my pjo art when I made it instead of hoarding it like a little goblin for no apparent reason today I might have been known as the octavian guy instead of the joffrey guy...scary thought...

[tacagen]

look there is something So special in the way thawne smiles in his non-flash-centered arcs