#or a hospice job
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literally. literally
#exactly how i feel#why can’t i not work for a year#and then get a boring outpatient job#or a hospice job#sorry for the nurse posting but
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12 hour shifts should be illegal under any circumstances
#'nOboDY wAnts tO WoRk aNymOrE' well maybe you should try paying a living wage for normal shift lengths instead of expecting people to spend#half their lives at a horrible job for barely above minimum wage#this for a hospice care facility med tech position. die#sorry i've had a whole bottle of wine and i'm trying not to ha ve a panic attack about going to my shitty evil job which i hate tomorrow#AUGH AUGH AUGJH AUGH UAGH#me
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forcing myself to function through anxiety feels like im piloting an animatronic of myself
#very out of body like keep urself warm bc that helps with anxiety and forcing myself to eat and drink and i even wrote a whole cover letter#and im about to handwash laundry and the whole time my body feels like static#listen im like fine im anxious bc my grandma is now on hospice care and is declining fast and im across the globe from my family#and i was already anxious about a job interview thursday and about not having ajob yet and about my lease ending and about some minor healt#problems im experiencing and about my current research fellowship abroad so now im just in a constant anxiety attack#and tbh i want to talk to my mom about it but shes busy handling everything with my dying grandma#which like her health has been declining for two years it just took a rapid turn this weekend so its not a surprise just this is#bad timing for me personally to be processing this and dreading a call from home#like i'll be fine its just anxiety and stress and like certainly not the first time ive faced grief#i dont really want to talk about it#i just needed to vent it in some way bc i dont really want to talk to the students here about it
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It has not been a good day
#ooc#my brother is losing his job#my best friend since 5th grade let me know that her mom is going into hospice#who I care about a lot#and I care about her a lot obviously and she just had a child#ask to tag#death#job loss#idk
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Favorite Artful Dodger scene so far:
Belle: "He's dying, isn't he? What can we do?"
Jack: "Hold his hand and see him into the next life."
Also, the parallels between this and Jack's earlier speech about how dangerous it is for a surgeon to play God. No matter how good a doctor you are, you still have to be a person - it is being a person that makes you good, and if you lose sight of that, you'll fail.
And when you've done all you can as a doctor, there's still something you can do as a fellow human being. Be there.
#death tw#artful dodger spoilers#the artful dodger#medical tw#hylian rambles#there is something about the sacredness and intimacy and terror of death that gets to me#it might have something to do with the fact that i volunteered doing fundraising for a hospice program as a teenager#never did any actual end of life care and didn't want to but still saw a lot of how it affected my coworkers and our clients#something a coworker said still gets to me. she said when people ask how she could do this job she says 'how could you not?'
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(( I just want to say that I live! I want to watch the newest arc soon and hopefully get some Charles muse back again cause I love this little fuck face, life has just been throwing hardball after hardball at me so I've hardly had time for myself. ))
#my 11 year old baby kitty died last month#my grandma that i have a really good relationship with just went on hospice and likely won't make it through August#i changed jobs and am now a vet tech#went from toxic job to even more toxic job#tried getting out and had a few promising interviews but didn't land any#i don't get enough hours or pay so fuck me#trying to get some passive income stuff going#my oldest hedgie also tried to die a week after my cat#but she pulled through thank god#had to get put on another anxiety med#out of tea#psa#also insomnia is a bitch#honestly its my friends here and irl that have been getting me through these times#but i do hope to make a come back here soonish#the mun
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Pulled the death card in a tarot reading last week and was like "yeah yeah, it means change, blah blah blah" but no someone really did die. Like that card meant death death. Crazy when divination turns out to be literal.
#no one I know or am close to personally but still#started a new job last Monday#turned out one of my mew clients was already in hospice when I got there#and she died on Saturday#so yeah big life change in the having a new job sense#but also actual literal death very much WAS a part of my week
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Aged Care Employee Day & Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day
Person A works for the post office and decides to send packages to the nursing home patients with various things whenever Person A spots something they think the various nursing home people may enjoy. But they always make sure to package them as weirdly as possible, for the nursing home patients to have fun guessing and opening them. Person B is the front desk person at the nursing home and so the one who receives the packages from Person A and takes note who they’re for and gets them to the patients. One day, Person A brings a package for Person B.
#mod poss#creative writing#writing prompt#fanfic prompt#fanfiction prompt#story prompt#creative writing prompt#ficinsp#alternate universe#plots and prompts#obscure holiday prompt#senior home au#hospice au#nursing home au#job au#post office au
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Just got word my grandma was officially put on hospice. Got to see her two weeks ago so I'm glad for that. Now it's just a waiting game.
#my job has me aware of the ins and outs mostly#ive helped with hospice patients#still... shes my last grandparent
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ben affleck.jpg
#my first hospice client is a transphobic antivaxxer zionist#->the caregiver is#so imagine what i had to go through today sitting through 2 hours of the conversation jumping topics and every single one bringing a take m#more nightmareish than the last#and i cant say shit because my job is to sit there and smile and nod and provide emotional support for these people in their time of need#and i cant neglect a patient by arguing and causing a conflict between us#just because theyre the most misinformed misguided ignorant people ive met in years
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yeah and i’m one of them
#i’m joking kinda#but isn’t it wild HALF of new grads quit nursing in the first year#anyways trying to stick it out for a year so i can get a clinic or hospice job
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it is so depressing looking at what i was getting paid for my $16+ an hour fulltime jobs vs what i get paid now but i could not have stayed at either of those jobs or i would have killed myself. for two very different reasons but i would have in either scenario
#cvs sucked while i was there but at least when i was off the clock i was off the clock#and the reason i had to leave that one#was just. i could not keep living in ky. and i had a really secure position at that specific cvs that i couldnt get at any around where#i moved to bc cvs slashed hours super hard. the hospice pharmacy.....#i was almost as miserable as if i hadnt moved. i had an immediate and extremely noticable decrease in how suicidal i was#after leaving that job. it was crazy. they want me back too but i so extremely cant do that#personal#suicide mention
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What sort of setting do you want to work in after graduation?
In general, definitely something in medical social work but I’m open to setting and population!
#eventually would love to do palliative care#it’s possible I could start with hospice which seems to be an easier job to get for whatever reason#and that’ll be good exposure to experiencing death and bereavement#and see if I can actually handle it lmao#would also be interested in oncology#especially with teens and young adults#and I really enjoyed the hiv clinic for my internship so I would be interested in that as well#answered#smallcatalysts#personal#medical social work#social work
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Anybody else having quite possibly the worst day of their life
#personal / don’t rb#I just had to make the decision that one of my foster cats is now a hospice case#which I kind of always knew was gonna happen with her#but I’m still fucking heartbroken. I really thought maybe by some miracle she would have smth curable#I need to stop getting my hopes up like that#I love her so much she’s like my baby and I just want her to be happy and comfortable#but I can’t keep her alive for selfish reasons#I’ve had to do this so many time and it never fucking gets easier!!!!!!! I hate it here I hate this job!!!!!
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am i an insane person for planning to apply for another fellowship next year
#its like i hate making money#3 years of internal medicine 3 years of pulmonary/critical care whats another year#for hospice and palliative care?#anyway i started looking into fellowship applications (FOR THE SECOND TIME) today and started to feel somewhat anxious#which is stupid because a.) i'm just going to suicide match at my current institution#and b.) like... if i dont get in.... i'll just have a job in my current subspeciality....... literally nothing to lose#i'm actually very excited#catch me your local bookiedookie fanfiction author becoming a world expert in palliative pulmonary/critical care medicine in 5 years
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Getting a job in the care sector like. It’s only 6 months of free training to be a caregiver?? I’m sorry?
#tbf im not going into the medical side of it at all#I just want to provide help and assistance#aiming for hospice caregiver (which sounds grim but it’s important to me)#and I’ll still have my job at the theatre/library/museum#but I found out you can’t sail on tall ships with epilepsy and that was a 6 month course as well#so end of life care it is then!#(more than happy to work with pediatric patients but I know more about hospice so)#anyways#YOU ARE TRUSTING ME WITH A HUMAN BEING IN NEED OF A CAREGIVER AND ONLY SIX MONTHS??#I mean. okay#hopefully I won’t be working in the hospital often or at all#at home care is just. it’s nicer. also my hospital is severely underfunded and a general nightmare#been a patient enough times there to know
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