#or a good liar for that matter
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Hey, so to have a second good thing to wake up to (yes, i am a freak that reads tags) have a question:
How do you think Misha and Arthur would meet? And how would Misha respond to literally puppeteering Arthur during WITW?
HOW ARE YOU SO FAST i havent even had my morning coffee when you sent this sjhdbfjshd
long answer ahead:
im guessing you mean them meeting face to face. how i imagine it happening starts with misha carrying arthur back to base after he passes out from severely overstraining himself during a fight. usually they would phase in and drag arthur to a safe spot and watch over him until he woke up.. but this is a dangerous area and that cough sounded particularly bad, so they decide to drop the act and get him to safety
up until that moment theyve been backseating his missions and talking to him the whole time.. due their chronic inability to shut up and keep a low profile. any questions about their identity are either ignored or answered with a shitty lie ("dont worry arthur im just your subconsciousness :)" "you dont sound like me" "dont worry about it :)")
after arthur wakes up, he goes to find out how tf he got here since he was running solo and no one was supposed to be in the area, people tell him he got brought back by a stranger thats currently talking to dr entrati. no one knows who they are or where they came from but seem to be important to the doctor
when the two finally meet he instantly recognizes the voice thats been talking to him in his head nonstop but cant straight up ask without sounding insane to everyone else. arthur settles on asking if they met before and misha says that maybe they have, who knows? ;)
misha sticks around in the flesh after that and they team up :) the voice in arthurs head has gone suspiciously silent for the most part but he can still feel some echo of foreign emotions bouncing around his skull
as for the puppeteering part: misha has mixed feelings about the whole warframe thing and already feels very iffy controlling umbra. they tried to keep their control over arthur to the absolute minimum before their official meeting and forgoes it completely when they work together (up until the inevitable reveal i guess)
#cant say misha is a good actor#or a good liar for that matter#their acting is very much theatrical due to duviri#so you can imagine how much nobody buys what theyre saying#its a hilariously messy situation#this is your chosen operator albrecht good luck#inbox#chronicler of narrative#drifter misha#wf arthur#personal hc
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the human capacity to adapt to anything is fucking me up again
#like. getting used to a chronic illness in the sense that you are not constantly in the throws of grief? good.#but also you get so used to it that you're like Surely Everyone Feels This Way And I Am But A Liar And A Weakling#no matter how blatantly untrue this is.#like no self i think most people are capable of. sitting up.#curseblogging#getting a disability lawyer and every time i think about it i start sobbing in panic#bc i'm so afraid he'll think i'm lying about not being able to work
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Why did you do it? I don't know what you're talking about. I was drunk that night, and you told me you would always look at me— You want to get back at me, right?
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 09
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chaing tien#jiang dian#nat chen#chen bowen#userspring#userrain#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#WE LOVE WHEN AI DI IS A BITCH. 10/10 NO NOTES. just. be a freak about it why dont you i love this for him#its actually insane how good of a liar he is. like........he really truly seems so unbothered by everything#but no matter what he says the idea of something casual is the last thing he could ever want. its so painful for him#and he only pushes the idea because he doesnt think chen yi will ever ever love him seriously OR casually#as if the idea of being with him could anger chen yi. SHOULD anger chen yi. because of how preposterous it is#but he also feels like he owes chen yi. like. ai di literally thought that after prison chen yi would never seek him out#would never want to speak to him ever again and he thinks thats BETTER for them too bc he cant take back what he did AND#he cant take back his own vulnerability. but he cant take anything casual with chen yi so he hides behind this facade of being uncaring#that chen yi KNOWS is FALSE and that BREAKS ME. his face as ai di pushes past him.......ow.#a more openly expressive version of 'i know he's lying to me but i dont understand whats going on and that HURTS me' but Extra Painful#because ai di is all chen yi wants. and - 'an explanation'... he wants ai di to want him too
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 24
"What is this place?" Manon asked Glennis as she found the crone polishing the handle of a gold-bound broom beside the fire. Two others lay on a cloak nearby. Menial work for the witch in charge of this camp.
"This is an ancient camp-one of the oldest we claim." Glennis's knobbed fingers flew over the broom handle. "Each of the seven Great Hearths has a fire here, as do many others." Indeed, there were far more than seven in the camp. "It was a gathering place for us after the war, and since then, it had become a place to usher in some of our younger witches to adulthood. It is a rite we've developed over the years—to send them into the deep wilds for a few weeks to hunt and survive with only their brooms and a knife. We remain here while they do so."
Manon asked quietly, "Do you know what our initiation rite is?"
Glennis's face tightened. "I do. We all do." Which hearth had the witch she'd killed at age sixteen belonged to?
"You're not a cold person."
He arched a brow. "Is that your professional opinion?"
Manon studied him. "You can descend to those levels when you are angry, when your friends are threatened. But you are not cold, not at heart. I've seen men who are, and you are not."
"Neither are you," he said a bit quietly.
The wrong thing to say.
Manon stiffened, her chin lifting. "I am one hundred seventeen years old," she said flatly. "I have spent the majority of that time killing. Don't convince yourself that the events of the past few months have erased that."
"Keep telling yourself that." He doubted anyone had ever spoken to her that baldly-relished that he now did, and kept his throat intact.
She snarled in his face. "You're a fool if you believe the fact that I am their queen wipes away the truth that I have killed scores of Crochans."
"That fact will always remain. It's how you make it count now that matters."
Make it count. Aelin had said as much back in those initial days after he'd been freed of the collar. He tried not to wonder whether the icy bite of Wyrdstone would soon clamp around his neck once more.
"I am not a softhearted Crochan. I will never be, even if I wear their crown of stars."
He'd heard the whispers about that crown amongst the Crochans this week-about whether it would be found at last. Rhiannon Crochan's crown of stars, stolen from her dying body by Baba Yellowlegs herself. Where it had gone after Aelin had killed the Matron, Dorian had not the faintest idea. If it had stayed with that strange carnival she'd traveled with, it could be anywhere. Could have been sold for quick coin.
Manon went on, "If that is what the Crochans expect me to become before they join in this war, then I will let them venture to Eyllwe tomorrow alone."
"Is it so bad, to care?" The gods knew he'd been struggling to do so himself.
"I don't know how to," she growled.
Ridiculous. An outright lie. Perhaps it was because of the high likelihood that he'd be collared again at Morath, perhaps it was because he was a king who'd left his kingdom in an enemy's grip, but Dorian found himself saying, "You do care. You know it, too. It's what makes you so damn scared of all this."
Her golden eyes raged, but she said nothing.
"Caring doesn't make you weak," he offered.
"Then why don't you heed your own advice?"
"I care." His temper rose to meet hers. And he decided to hell with it-decided to let go of that leash he'd put on himself. Let go of that restraint. "I care about more than I should. I even care about you."
Another wrong thing to say.
Manon stood—as high as the tent would allow. "Then you're a fool." She shoved on her boots and stomped into the frigid night.
I even care about you.
Manon scowled as she turned in her sleep, wedged between Asterin and Sorrel. Only hours remained until they were to move out—to head to Eyllwe and whatever force might be waiting to ally with the Crochans. And in need of help.
Caring doesn't make you weak.
The king was a fool. Little more than a boy.
What did he know of anything?
Still the words burrowed under her skin, her bones. Is it so bad, to care?
She didn't know. Didn't want to know.
#Chapter 24#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Manon Blackbeak#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#more notes and annotations in the tags spoilers for the chapter & priors#anyone else getting Ramaelle vibes#we fly with you. — the significance of that line#Dorian and Vesta dynamics lol I love it#It'd be a boon for his friends. If they could survive it would be enough.#the heart mothers and fire and witch queen + just manon being manon at her best allowed proving even to her like Asterin said etc#It was now a matter of convincing his magic to become like that shifter's power.#Be what you wish Cyrene had told him. Nothing. He wished to be nothing.#Your wyvern seems like more of a dog than anything. It was not an insult Manon reminded herself. The Crochans kept dogs as pets.#Adored them as humans did. His name is Abraxos Manon said. He is ... different. He and the blue one are mates.#her mom mode and then her and Asterin realizing lol#“For love. These beasts despite their dark master are capable of love.#Nonsense yet some kernel in her realized it to be true.#Hurry northward the wind sang day and night. Hurry Blackbeak.#say It took you long enough to figure it out.#Gods above she was beautiful. He wondered when it would stop feeling like a betrayal to think so.#but Dorian kept peering inward a kind of therapy I guess and ignoring the whisper presence which is also good#None of this could end well. For either of them.#I am not a softhearted Crochan. I will never be even if I wear their crown of stars.#I like the ice best… Narene and Abraxos sitting in a tree… so much foreshadowing… change and liar… damaris is real or not real… many things#When they awoke something sharp in his chest had dulled-just a fraction#What he'd opened up revealed to her. A sort of freedom that letting go.
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I'm not sure how much overlap there is between the Good Omens fandom and the LOTR fandom...
However as someone in both, I can attest-- there is some mutual heartbreak that we can share-- </3
#“he's a liar”#“he's poisoned you against me”#when your hubby is so brainwashed that you're forced to go your separate ways#no matter how much it hurts#yes I am well aware this separation does not happen in the lotr books#but neither does the entirety of GO Season 2 so same difference#sam and frodo should have kissed#Crowley just needs to save Azi from a giant spider#hey both of these scenes still make me cry#so at least there's that#good omens#lotr#aziraphale#crowley#frodo baggins#samwise gamgee#ineffable husbands#frowise#aziracrow#samfro#fandom things
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if liar liar has 1m fans im one of them, if liar liar has 1k fans im one of them, if liar lair has 100 fans im in there if liar liar has 0 fans smn brutually murdered me
sorry i was cooking when i got the notif and couldn’t leave the stove on but i read it like an hour ago and moved around the kitchen with a smile on my face 😭🩷
no bc ik when i post an ask i’ve received or random updates about liar, liar, you’ll be one of the first to like, reblog, or comment and i’m here for it <33
but if someone brutally murdered you, i’d be the first person to be at the crime scene because nobody is harming you under my care 😤
your support means the world to me, thank you sm for just existing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
#i’m gonna explode with all this love i’m recieving#you guys are too good to me 🥹#liar liar is still a very small family (that grows every week no matter how slow it does)#but i love it all the same#and i love the comments replies likes everythinggg#1l-ynn being an og wbk?? 😋#love her to death#i’d write a will and leave everything to ‘my readers’ and my friends and family will be so confused cuz they have no idea i write ff LMAO#liar liar is at 11k words rn so the halfway point is probably gonna be 13k words with how longgg it’s gotten?#wait not liar liar#the fifth chapter of liar liar LMFAO#and after the recent leaks (NOBARA IS BACK I NEVER LOST HOPE HAHAH) this chapter is VERY fitting#VERY#do what that information what you will#ty for ur support everyone#thank you 1l-ynn <3#my honey bunch sugar plum#and every other sweet nickname that cute old ladies use (most of my readers are older than me)#ilyyyy#liar liar asks!
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What art program and tablet do you use?
ClipStudioPaint Ver 1 and for my tablet a Gaomon PD2200
#asks#anyone that says you need a wacom 14455468995x series is a liar#literally if ur looking for a display tablet just find one with good resolution#this one kinda sucks because the buttons are flat and i cant differentiate#but i have my tourbox so it doesn't really matter for me#i still have my wacom bamboo tablet i use for my laptop and shes been holding up so good too
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Who's your favorite character? :)
CALE HENITUSE.
#NOONE FOLLOWING FOR THE THINGS I MAKE WILL KNOW HIM PROBABLY#TO BE SPECIFIC I LIKE THE OG CALE THE VERY MOST IN THE WHOLE WORLD#WOULD DIE FOR KRS AS WELL BUT OG CALE JUST HITS DIFFERENT#just talking dmm#asks#IVE BEEN THINKING ABT HIM NONSTOP SINCE I FOUND OUT ABT HIS EXISTENCE GENUINELY UNWELL#HES SO EVERYTHING#HES A LIAR AND A DOUCHEBAG AND HE DOES IT ON PURPOSE FOR THE GREATER GOOD AND IT WORKES#WORKED* BUT NONE OF IT EVEN MATTERED AND THEN EVERYONE HE LOVED DIEDDDDD#FUCK DUDE#tcf
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#this is why we can't have nice things#lies and the lying liars who tell them#fight the patriarchy#smash the patriarchy#fight peer pressure from the past#traditions are toxic#purity culture#puritanical nonsense#why does America hate science#american horror story#america#America is a horror story#fix America#students#this is what education is for#education and science#tools of learning#American stagnation#students or just future workers#school is not a job#this godforsaken country#America the stupid#how am I supposed to be patriotic about this?#puritanical feelings hold us back#progress matters#woke is wonderful#children as workers#why does America hate children?#why isn’t change a good thing?
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as a writer how do you stop thinking about like getting kudos/comments? I've just started writing fanfic, and when I start a writing something -- it goes well and then eventually I get to point where I'm like "ahh but what the readers don't like that? or what if I don't get as many kudos or comments" and it makes it difficult to continue because then it becomes stressful -- I guess how do you deal with "wanting to write stuff for yourself" and "wanting validation" thanks!
You're going to hate this answer, because I hated it too, but TIME. When you first start writing and you get kudos and comments and people love what you're doing, it's a huge validation of your effort and talent, and it's natural that you want MORE of it. When I first started putting up fics I already had been writing for 15+ years, knew I was good at it, and still for a good few years found myself really glued to the hit counter, and the kudos, and wondering how I'd be able to get people to comment the same way they did on things like Seven Suitors.
But the thing is that commenting comes and goes in waves, and unless a fandom has a big comment culture, or is large enough that you're guaranteed a good glut of them every time you post...you're going to hit a point where you write exactly what everyone wants and get crickets. And at that point you'll get ANNOYED, because LOOK, I MADE THIS, i made it for YOU GUYS, and now y'all don't have anything to say? It'll get to you. It'll make you doubt that you know what anyone wants at all. It'll happen and it'll suck the whole time.
Lots of advice will say "write for yourself," which is an excellent sentiment. You should always write what YOU want. Put into your fic what you want to see, write the nitpicky poetic metaphors and craft the most screwball twists your heart desires. Pour yourself into the most niche AUs and most tin-hat canon theories. At the end of the day, you want the IDEAS you put down to be for you, because comments and kudos are nice, but if they don't come...you have to be proud of what you put out, even when it feels like an echo chamber.
But also...we don't POST things for ourselves. We post things to share. Fic are a conversation with canon and it is perfectly natural to want to create something that creates conversation among other fans. So you're never going to fully get the need for validation out of your head, you're not. You can hide hit counts and ignore your inbox all you like, but the want to have someone interact with your work, to inspire someone to reach out to you will ALWAYS be there. You just have to create a healthier relationship with it.
Be confident in what you write. Think less about whether people will like it, and more about how you WANT them to react. The reader is the most important character in any novel, but it's the one most authors forget to manage. When you come to a point where you go "oh man, I hope this is good for them!" stop and go, "what do I *want* them to be feeling here?" Focus on where you're putting their attention and whether you WANT it there. There's so much you can do when you visualize your relationship with the reader as PART of the work, and it takes off a lot of the pressure of "is this good? is it disappointing? will this get me validation?" and brings it back into the realm of storytelling. You are taking your reader on a journey, and when you do it well people will think less about "did I like that?" and more about "what comes next?"
#asks#writing advice#writing#please understand nonnie that what you are feeling is completely natural and part of the process#and shades of that will stick with you no matter how good you get#but the thing you want to keep in the center of your mind when it comes to that#is that you can only get kudos once on a fic and you are lucky to get a 1:100 comment vs hits ratio#so the instant validation WILL dry up and you'll have to have something about your story#that makes you push through. because people will come back and comment!#people will blow through 50+ chapter and leave you the most emotionally hungover review promising you their first borns#but sometimes you will have written a good third of them with NO feedback whatsoever#and you just have to trust in yourself that it's good. it's FINE#i used to obsessively check hits and be really put out to see how many people were coming and not commenting#especially when i wrote really emotionally driven stuff and really tore myself up to get those feelings through#but i also would have been miserable only writing fluffy 1 or 2 shots with no plot just to get the flush of comments those fics get#you just gotta do what you gotta do and let your audience find you. recontextualizing the relationship helps a LOT#i already was big on focusing on the meta plot of my works because as i said. 15+ years. had a lot of time to experiment and get good#but i still had to like. give myself the same pep talk 2 years in about how to view that relationship#everyone goes through it and if they say they don't they're a liar and i mean that seriously 🤣
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i’m just saying the secret history would make such a good telenovela and be 1000000 times funnier in spanglish
“no es murder…… creo es una…. es…. una redistribution of matter. si. una redistribution of matter.”
“AY DIOS MIO CHARLES STOP ACTING COMO UNA PINCHE BEBÉ”
“people landed on the moon already” “*muttering* mentiroso” “que dijiste????” “DIJE MENTIROSO”
“el pinche puede hacer lo que quiera y no hacer pinche ningún bien y no enfrentar ninguna pinche consecuencias” “por favor basta” “YO HAGO LO QUE ME DE LA GANA”
#the secret history#tsh#translations:#1. it’s not murder…. it’s… its…. it’s a redistribution of matter. yeah. redistribution of matter#2. my god charles stop acting like a fucking baby#3. ‘liar’ ‘what did you say’ ‘i said liar’#4. ‘he can do whatever the fuck he wants and do nothing fucking good and face no fucking consequences’ ‘please stop’ ‘i do what i want’
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𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔?
The Betrayer
You like to do things up close and personal. As personal as you can get. You are an excellent actor, and you do adore putting on a smile knowing your worst enemy, the one you hate the most, doesn't suspect a thing when they tell you their deepest secrets. Your only motivation is revenge, and revenge you shall get. Perhaps you loved them once, long ago, but any fondness for your target you once felt has long since warped and twisted into perverse obsession, laced with malice and venom and seething hatred. Good or evil does not matter to you. All that matters is they get what they deserve.
tagged stolen from @historiavn tagging @uselessdevice (rufus or leah), @multipleoccupancy (edgar), @imjustanauthor (mulder), @dcmur3, @countlessrealities (evil rick or evil morty), @ladiesandwitches (scully), @versin-surfin, @badassxbirdy
#not everything is true but not everything is untrue either lol#Isaac is a great actor and a great liar#definitely obsessive#and he does things VERY up close and personal#good and bad definitely doesn't matter to him#BUT !!!! while he can get blinded by revenge bc of his obsessive nature he is NOT driven by revenge at all!#he's driven by science and his crazy little alien brain#isaac (oh now you want to talk to god?)#dash games#ooc
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 64
Chapter; Highlights
Hours later, Yrene was still shaking.
At the disaster they'd narrowly avoided, at the deaths she'd witnessed before that wave had struck, at the power of the queen on the plain. The power of the prince who had prevented the ensuing steam from boiling alive any caught in its path.
Yrene had thrown herself back into healing during the chaos since. Had left the royals and their commanders to oversee the aftermath, and had returned to the Great Hall. Healers drifted onto the battlefield, searching for those in need of help.
All of them, every single person in the keep or the skies or on the battlefield, kept glancing toward the now-empty gap between two mountain peaks. Toward the flooded, decimated city, and the demarcation line between life and death. Water and debris had destroyed most of Anielle, the former now trickling toward the Silver Lake.
A vision of what would have been left of them, were it not for Aelin Galathynius.
She'd been asked to inspect the queen when she'd been carried in to a private chamber by Prince Rowan, the two of them borne off the plain by Nesryn. Yrene hadn't been able to stop her hands from shaking as she'd hovered them over Aelin's unconscious body.
There had been no sign of harm beyond a few already-healing cuts and slices from the battle itself.
Nothing at all beyond a sleeping, tired woman.
Who held the might of a god within her veins.
Yrene had then inspected Prince Rowan, who looked in far worse shape, a sizable gash snaking down his thigh. But he'd waved her off, claiming he'd come too near a burnout, and just needed to rest as well.
So Yrene had left them, only to tend to another.
—
To Lorcan, whose injuries ... Yrene had needed to summon Hafiza to help her with some of it. To lend her power, since Yrene's had been so depleted.
The unconscious warrior, who had apparently tumbled right off Farasha as he and Elide had passed through the gates, didn't so much as stir while they worked on him.
That had been hours ago. Days ago, it felt.
Yes, she needed to rest.
But a horn, clear and bright, blared from outside.
Everyone halted-then rushed to the windows. Yrene's smile grew as she, too, found a place to peek out over the battlefield.
To where the rest of the khagan's army, Prince Kashin at its front, marched toward them.
Thank the gods. Everyone in the hall muttered similar words.
From the keep, an answering horn sang its welcome.
Not just one army had been spared here today, Yrene realized as she turned back to the water station. If that wave had reached Kashin.
…
Lucky. They had all been so, so very lucky.
Yet Yrene wondered how long that luck would last.
If it would see them through the brutal march northward, and to the walls of Orynth itself.
Lorcan let out a low groan as he surfaced from the warm, heavy embrace of darkness.
"You are one lucky bastard."
Too soon. Too damn soon after hovering near death to hear Fenrys's drawl.
Fenrys's smirk was a slash of white.
"You've been out for a day. I drew the short stick and had to look after you."
A lie. For whatever reason, Fenrys had chosen to be here.
Lorcan thumped his head back on the pillow. "Elide." Her name was a rasp on his tongue.
The last he remembered, they'd ridden through the gates, Aelin Galathynius's unholy power spent. Then oblivion had swept in.
"Helping with the healing in the Great Hall," Fenrys said, stretching out his legs before him.
Lorcan closed his eyes, something tight in his chest easing.
"Well, since you're not dead," Fenrys began, but Lorcan was already asleep.
Lorcan awoke later. Hours, days, he didn't know.
The candle was still burning on the narrow windowsill, down to its base. Hours, then.
He didn't care. Not when the dim light revealed the delicate woman lying facedown on the end of his cot, the lower half of her body still on the wooden chair where Fenrys had been. Her arms cradled her head, one outstretched toward him. Reaching for his hand, mere inches from hers.
Elide.
Her dark hair spilled across the blanket, across his shins, veiling much of her face.
Wincing at the lingering ache in his body, Lorcan stretched his arm just enough to touch her fingers. They were cold, their tips so much smaller than his. They contracted, pulling away as she sucked in a sharp, awakening breath.
Lorcan savored every feature as she grimaced at a crick in her neck. But her eyes settled on him. She went still as she found him staring at her, awake and utterly in awe of the woman who had ridden through hell to find him ...
Tired. She looked spent, yet her chin remained unbowed.
Lorcan had no words. He'd given her everything on the back of that horse anyway.
But Elide asked, "How do you feel?" Aching. Exhausted. Yet finding her sitting at his bedside... "Alive," he said, and meant it.
Her face remained unreadable, even as her eyes dipped to his body. The blanket had slid down enough to reveal most of his torso, though it still hid the scarred-over wound in his abdomen. Yet he'd never felt so keenly naked.
It was an effort to keep his breathing steady beneath her sharp-eyed gaze. "Yrene said you would have died, if they hadn't gotten to you when they did."
"I would have died," he said, voice like gravel, "if you hadn't braved hell to find me." Her gaze lifted to his. "I made you a promise."
"So you said."
Was that a hint of color stealing across her pale cheeks? But she didn't balk. "You said some interesting things, too."
Lorcan tried to sit up, but his body gave a burst of pain in protest.
Elide explained, "Yrene warned that though the wounds are healed, some soreness will linger."
Lorcan gritted his teeth around the sharp stab in his back, his stomach. He managed to get onto his elbows, and deemed that progress enough. "It's been a while since I was so gravely injured. I'd forgotten what an inconvenience it is."
A faint smile tugged on her mouth.
His heart halted. The first smile she had given him in months and months. Since that day on the ship, when he'd touched her hand as they'd swayed in their hammocks.
Her smile faded, but the color on her cheeks lingered. "Did you mean it? What you said." He held her stare. Let some inner wall within him come crumbling down. Only for her. For this sharp-eyed, cunning little liar who had slipped through every defense and ironclad rule he'd ever made for himself. He let her see that in his face. Let her see all of it, as no one had ever done before. "Yes."
Her mouth tightened, but not in displeasure.
So Lorcan said softly, "I meant every word." His heart thundered, so wildly it was a wonder she couldn't hear it. "And I will until the day I fade into the Afterworld."
Lorcan didn't breathe as Elide gently reached out her hand. And interlaced their fingers. "I love you," she whispered.
He was glad he was lying down. The words would have knocked him to his knees. Even now, he was half inclined to bow before her, the true owner of his ancient, wicked heart.
"I have loved you," she went on, "from the moment you came to fight for me against Vernon and the ilken." The light in her eyes stole his breath. "And when I heard you were somewhere on that battlefield, the only thing I wanted was to be able to tell you that. It was the only thing that mattered."
Once, he might have scoffed. Declared that far bigger things mattered, in this war especially. And yet the hand grasping his ... He'd never known anything more precious.
Lorcan ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "I am sorry, Elide. For all of it."
"I know," she said softly, and no regret or hurt dimmed her face. Only clear, unwavering calm shone there. The face of the mighty lady she was growing into, and had already become, and who would rule Perranth with wisdom in one hand and compassion in the other.
They stared at each other for minutes. For a blessed eternity.
Then Elide untangled their hands and rose. "I should return to help Yrene."
Lorcan caught her hand again. "Stay."
She arched a dark brow. "I'm only going to the Great Hall."
Lorcan caressed his thumb over the back of her hand once more. "Stay," he breathed.
For a heartbeat, he thought she'd say no, and was prepared to be fine with it, to accept these last few minutes as more of a gift than he'd deserved.
"Say it," she whispered, fingers stilling in his hair. Lorcan opened his eyes, finding her gaze. "I love you."
"Yrene said you might always have this," she said, her hand mercifully falling away.
"Then it will be the scar I treasure most."
Fenrys would laugh until he cried to hear him speak this way, but Lorcan didn't care. To hell with the rest of them.
Another one of those small smiles curved her lips, and Lorcan's hands tightened in the sheets with the effort it took not to taste that smile, to worship it with his own mouth.
But this new, fragile thing humming between them ... He would not risk it for all the world.
Elide, thank the gods, had no such worries.
None at all, it seemed, as she lifted a hand to his cheek and ran her thumb along it. Every breath was an effort of control.
Lorcan held absolutely still as she brought her mouth to his. Brushed her lips across his own.
She pulled back. "Rest, Lorcan. I'll be here again when you wake."
Anything she asked, he'd give her.
Anything at all.
Too shaken by that soft, beautiful kiss to bother with words, he lay back down.
But until then, he wanted her here. Sleeping at his side, where he might watch over her. As she had watched over him.
Elide seemed to read that on his face, and her cheeks reddened further. "Later, then," she breathed, limping to the door.
Lorcan sent a flicker of his power to wrap around her ankle. The limp vanished.
A hand on the knob, she gave him a small, grateful nod. "I missed that."
He heard the unspoken words as she disappeared into the busy hall.
I missed you.
Lorcan allowed himself a rare smile.
#Chapter 64#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Yrene Towers#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 64 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Elorcan#Yrene-Shaking-Queen&prince quote a pair-Blood glowing-the Line-No time for those levels-He watched her#A tired sleeping woman who held the might of good within her veins-He can heal himself but should take the help but also sweet#to want to tend each another-Carranam with hafiza? How do the healers work-a smile-another prince has arrived-not just one-luck again#GET TO ORYNTH-LorcanLIVES-Fenrys-Darkness embraces him-lol-Their fight-Chosen-Since you’re not dead?-A candle to tell time#A kindness-His hand-Utterly in awe-Through hell to find him-He’d given her every word-Aching exhausted alive&he meant it-#I made a promise-Didn’t balk-😂-Inconvenience-She smiled2-Forgiveness can you imagine🥹-Only for her-For this sharp eyed —#cunning little liar who had slipped through every defense-Let her see all of it-Many loves kindling-poor Gavriel just avoiding everything#What then?-So Lorcan said softly-Every word-And I will-I love you-I will be with you always-I have loved you-He was glad he was lying down -#-so he didn’t pass out-the light of her stole his breath-Since vernon-The only thing that mattered-Most precious-For all of it-#A mighty lady of Perranth-History repeats-I know-With wisdom in one hand and compassion in the other-A blessed eternity-Stay#ALL THESE STAY LINES-So Close-Defiant storm-All these ship making me nervous it’s going to well don’t hurt my bbs-The scar I treasure-BOTH-#Fenrys would laugh talking this way-He would not risk it for all the world-She wasn’t worried for once-Anything at all-I’ll be here#Soft beautiful lingering-Sweet who would’ve thought he’s a lil softie after all-Unbreakable-Dundundun-Watch over him#Driving eachother insane but in a hot way lol-I missed that-I missed you-The brace -Lorcan smiledAGAIN2times-No cages ever again#WELCOME HOME KASHIN YOU ARE GOOD NEWS WE NEEDED YOU#what’s the speech Fenrys?-never known anything more precious yeah that’s elide
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It’s difficult to not feel discouraged sometimes when your partner is also an artist and happens to be faster than you in every conceivable way
This doesn’t bother me often because everyone is different and comparing production time and skill against each other or anyone is detrimental mostly and its ok to have your own workflow
but it does weigh on me vaguely sometimes sometimes that she can finish 2-3 full coloured pieces within a week and ive been painfully scratching out the same number but theyre only sketches that ill never revisit within a month
None of this actually matters in the long run, it just makes me feel bad on occasion
#like i should be doing more#im very sorry for complaining so much online#i just dont really have any other way to express myself#i know some of you have generously and kindly reached out to me to offer an ear#but my fatal flaw is i cant talk to anyone about my problems i just idk it was beaten into me that none of it matter#matters or my problems arent a big deal and i know ots healthy to think actuallt my problems are worth talking about or a big deal#but its hard to change a behaviour that was kinda literally beaten jnto you that talking about stuff likw this is a waste of time#i guess i just feel bad that i could do more and i dont because i dont want to#but i also want to if that makes any sense at all#i suppose it also doesnt help that alot of the work im doing right now i actually sorta hate like none of it is good to me personally#i want to stop being toxic towards myself#i just wanna stop hating me and who i am and what i do every step of the way#but that mean little voice inside me is like ahh. it wont shut up#I always say i need a break or more time but what am i gonna do with it#doing nothing at all isnt fulfilling#it sounds. sad like what teenager me did and i dont want to be or feel like that ever again but its fuckjng hard#this is so woe is me#im a liar bc i say the main text doesnt bother me but it bothers me alot im very envious of her speed prolificness and drive to create#and i have none like thats so unfair#this makes me sound ultra bitter god fucking damn it#i want to go to sleep and genuinely never fucking wake up again#please im done i just dont want to
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I think the disconnect between canon Belos and (a certain genre of) fanon Belos is that in canon he is pathetic (in the dramatic sense) not sympathetic.
#ramblings of a lunatic#like that's the thing he's a tragic character in a sense but he's pitiable in the dramatic sense more than anything else#you pity his codependency and his hypocrisy and his refusal to ever change and his borderline stupidity#(like I get it he's good at machines and hes good at manipulating ppl! but his plans are also kinda stupid and that's on purpose)#(he is a conservative he is charismatic not machiavellian)#but you fully understand that his refusal to ever grow or learn (which is the crux of his. Everything) is his fault#i don't know man I'm just kinda over the fandom conversations around Belos after watching and dreaming#even if it wasn't my first choice or instinct I've made the effort to understand why the writers did his ending the way they did#and i see their pov and I've decided actually. yeah i can see how that works#bc fundamentally while a very important character philip has never been the crux of this story#it has always always been Luz King and Eda. and the amount of ppl who are. deeply pissy about that fact#idk man i don't consider myself like. knowledgeable and conscious enough to accurately identify white bias in fandom#and I'm fully aware that fandom is not praxis and it's generally shitty to insist ppl spend more or less time on certain aspects of media#as if fandom is about filling quotas for HR#but also i can't ignore the fuckin. itchy feeling that ppl really took this man at his word when his main character trait is being A Liar#all bc he's a white guy with long hair#he's cool! i like him! especially now that i remembered the vocabulary featured in this post! i have words to describe my feelings on him!#and also none of this matters bc He Is Not Real and the toh writers are not sniffling and sobbing rn bc some ppl think they did belos dirty#i just have ''opinionated on characters'' disease#and my opinion of philip is that he's a great villain#but ppl willfully ignore WHY he's a great villain (He Is An Interesting Depiction of a Religious Conservative)#in order to invent different and more traditionally sympathetic reasons why he's great (he's just afraid and alone and he feels bad and he)#(you get it)#okay. I'm done#Do Not Read The Fucking Tags
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super happy i was selected for this job but also one of the first people i wanted to tell was him before remembering that we’re no longer speaking. but also fuck that man and i deserve better. but also… sigh
#nostalgia is a bitch and a liar!!! i know this!!!#but i just rmr when i was venting to him abt my current job and i started crying at one point and he was just so lovely and comforting#but he turned out to be a dick in the end so! nothing else really matters except for that#alright i’m good
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