#or Kep for short :)

[kangals]

welcome home baby Kepler 🔭

[mitamicah]

Gig report: Käärijä at Böle Arena and Club 05.04.24

It has now been five days since my first Käärijä gig in Finland and my first stadium gig with him as well. In short it was an amazing experience and one of those concerts I probably will keep with me forever. However, there were both great and less great parts of the whole thing.

TLDR; I loved the shows especially because we were able to see Jere live out his Rammstein fanboy dreams and that we got Paidaton Riehuja during the spontaneous DJ booth set which made me cry. However, I was more than once annoyed about security and their lack of communication to the fans.

Disclaimer: this report is written from my point of view. Keep in mind that this is just the opinion of one kääryle and some of these experiences are very much subjective to my unique situation.

My trip to Helsinki was far from ideal. The flight I was meant to take on Friday May 3 2024 was cancelled and so I have to wander around in Copenhagen Airport for eight hours before flying to Stockholm then Helsinki and landing around dinner time instead of the originally plan 9.20 in the morning. For this reason I had to cancel the tattoo appointment I just made and mentally cancel my plans to explore the inner city of Helsinki. Luckily I wasn’t alone since another fan had been scheduled to take the same flight so we hung out together. Our luck didn’t improve however so we caught the Joker Out travelling curse in Helsinki when our bags were missing for half an hour to an hour. Because of this we were only arriving to Pasila station around 8-9 o’clock in the evening.

I blame me having been up very early (2 am), the annoyance of all we’ve gone through and my autism making me like clear cut rules that people actually following for my feelings about the next part. The thing is that we were a group of four going to Böle just to see the venue after eating some Korean/Japanese food to be met by a big group of campers outside the venue. This confused me since the venue had informed on more than one occasion that queuing before 8 am Saturday was prohibited. From what I gather from Elmi (ehaapasalo on ig) that talked to some of the campers the security personnel had given into the campers to be allowed to camp at the venue although NOT at the main entrance. Yet they (the venue) had not make an official statement about this making it so half or more of the fans would not have known about this chance of plans. I was way too tired and it was way too late for me mentally to change my plans so I went to my hotel where I slept horribly given I worried about the queue the entire night.

Next morning I woke up as I’d planned at 5.30 (would’ve been more than enough time had the queue started at 8 am) to be informed through IG group message that there were already 60+ numbers given in the unofficial queue. Already slightly sleep deprived I went to the queue a little past 7 am with a big, lurking cloud (figuratively) over my head. I got number 99.

At 8 am the second big change of plans where announced: Instead of starting giving out official numbers at 11 the security would now ask people to line up so the numbers could be given at 8 am. This change didn’t bother me as much as the previous one but it was still not a great feeling I was left with since this was not clearly communicated before now. We got our numbers (mine was 95) and pretty much 85-90% if not more went home to sleep and/or eat. That meant me that had looked forward to hang out and meet people in the queue felt I was getting even more punished for following the rules.

Because of this and my foolish hope of getting Käärijä to notice my sign asking for a tattoo, when a fan told me there were still tickets to the day show I ended up buying one for myself. (and so I ended up with yet another number being 38). More people slowly starting to arrive after that, and with the company the anxiety and sour taste in my mouth subsided slightly.

The dayshow would start at 3 pm, so we had been asked to be back at 1. The line however only started to form because we (the fans) got impatient at 1.30. Other than that the personnel did alright when double checking our numbers and I’d say getting inside seemed to go smooth and easy so cookie points for that at least.

The day event would be the first (and so far only) time I’ve gotten barricade (however I wouldn’t have it for long since I allowed two squeaks fourth of my height to stand in front of me – it was an all-ages show after all). I was standing next to @duekko a bit to the right of the stage yet still somewhat close to the middle and we had a lovely time waiting (and enjoying the concert) together I’d say.

The show itself was amazing- I loved seeing Jere fulfill all his Rammstein fanboy dreams with amazing outfits, outfit changes, pyro, smoke and silly gags. I especially enjoyed hearing People’s Champion (laughed my ass off seeing häärijä in the mushroom hat) live for the first time and the Tequila interlude and having the dancers around for Huhhahhei, Kot Kot (although in chicken costumes) and of course Cha Cha Cha was a treat.

The one thing that might have slightly made the experience less enjoyable for me was definitely my own fault. The barricade seemed miles away from the stage (to make space for pyro) and it was so dark that you could not see anything from the stage (I believe). That meant that no matter how much I tried it was definitely not going to work out with having Jere notice my sign. I did try both here and at the evening event yet I felt much more in the way and self conscious about it than I had hoped. So that slightly coloured my experience since I personally like to be as little aware of myself when I’m at a concert as possible. It also seemed that Jere were a bit nervous (understandably so) inbetween songs having to keep to a schedule yet as soon as the songs started he was back in performance mode and seemed to have a great time so that was lovely to see.

After the day show I got about an hour of queuing with people again which was lovely yet far from enough to speak to everybody I wanted to. A third little annoyance with the security arrived when we were lining up for the evening and then got the message to go inside 15 min before but just stay inside awkwardly in our queue until the doors opened for real. That truly was a strange experience and I have no idea what the security was thinking. Of course somebody in front started running as soon as we was allowed to move so to not getting stampeded everybody had to move. This whole chaos ended with me getting a way better spot than I’d imagined (third row a bit to the right yet still closer to the middle than in the day show). In some ways I think this spot was better than the day show at least in terms of the angle I was looking at the stage from.

The support band from the evening show was decent yet I am not sure they’d be added to my spotify playlist anytime soon. The evening show felt a lot like the day show just turned up to eleven with Erika joining for Rouska (as expected yet still very much appreciated) and songs like Rock Rock (the original version) and Menestynyt Yksilö being added to the setlist. Before Urheilujätkä (that was also being played at the day show) we held a little memorial for Hanna which made me teary eyed. We also got Cha Cha Cha twice this time which gave me big flash backs to the Europe tour which is only a good thing. (but yeah again my sign quest was a dud).

After the concert I was able to meet Aarni which was really cool (I went into big golden retriever puppy mode so by the off chance you are reading this Aarni, I am sorry for being so in your face x’D). I got a picture with him and gave him three stickers so he could give some to Jere and Häärijä (later in the evening I met him again and he confirmed that the boy had indeed gotten the stickers). My sidequest did cost me a setlist however but that is okay because Anniina (@formulalakana) got it instead which I am more than happy about (you may have seen it going around since it is the one with the Bojan picture at the bottom).

Joining the afterparty the first I did was finally buying that green hoodie I’d wanted since the Stockholm gig and then I went to buy water since I hadn’t really drunk anything since that morning. Sonny was the DJ of the evening and he played Käärijä songs – new, old, known and unknown – all evening. It was great hearing studio versions of People’s Champion and Ihan Sama yet also just hearing Morgan and Kovis being played on speakers at a club healed my soul.

I ended up joining the dancers just at the right time because 3-4 songs later Käärijä and crew joined the DJ booth to play a very spontaneous extra set for us. This was by far my favourite part of the evening because unlike the stadium shows the vibe was way more personal and intimate and heat of the moment. We bullied Jere into performing Kovis, we got the demo version of Cha Cha Cha, we got Ihan Sama and Punainen Marli. Heck, we even got to hear the new collab between him and Joost called Traffik! Everything seemed to go too well when suddenly a person behind me fainted and we immediately called for the show to stop. While it took a bit for the people on stage and security around to notice we were able to help the person (I really hope they are okay). I will give a few cookies to the security there as well – they seemed to react pretty quickly and professionally in this situation (they’d also actually been taking us seriously during the concert when asking for water unlike at Joker Out at Kulttuuritalo day 2 where we had to almost have people fainting before we were allowed water).

The DJ set ended in the most magical way because Jere decided to end with Paidaton Riehuja. Now I am a transmasculine person who like many transmasc kääryleet probably have a very strong connection to this song. Because of that I had been daydreaming about one day being lucky enough to be at a käärijä show where this song would play (preferably after my top surgery) so I could confidently and comfortably throw my shirt off and join Jere being shirtless and just feel the relief of not caring about my looks together with the wind on my chest. I had never imagined this would actually happen and definitely not here at Böle not even half a year into my hrt journey and pre op. Because of the rarity of the moment however I without thinking struggled my way through four layers of shirts to by the half way point of the song stand in only my sports bra howling with the little bit of the voice I had left. When the song was finished it hit me what I’d just done (for context: this is the first and only time I’ve willfully stripped down shirtless in public after coming out and the first time as long as I can remember I’ve been this unclothed and felt completely safe about it). I cried. And that is a first. I have never cried at a concert like that- always after the fact. So this is the one moment that make it so I think I will remember Böle forever. (I also cried at least two more times after exiting the dancefloor). Before exiting the danceflor however somebody next to me found a flower pin that they thought was mine (it wasn't) that I ended up taking with me home - so if anybody lost a flower that day (you can see it in the picture below) and what it back feel free to let me know :'D xD.

I stayed till the end of the evening chatting with new and old friends and dancing with strangers. I at one point saw Jesse yet was not fast enough to get over to meet him. I didn’t managed to meet everybody else yet heard about others having amazing moments with the guys which made me very happy for them (even if I myself also felt a bit sad that it hadn’t been me but you cannot get everything).

In the end I’d say Käärijä was a good first gig for the venue yet there are things they can definitely approve such as their ability to communicate and stick to what they have put out there as the official rules to make it the fairest for everybody involved.

As always I thank all of you for the amazing stickers, bracelets and other gifts I got this evening!!! (I got 23 bracelets which has definitely broken the last record which was held by Joker Out in Helsinki day 2). It was amazing meeting you all, taking pictures with you, getting excited with you, dancing and laughing with you and just overall sharing this amazing time together.

For the ones that are curious I did manage to get my tattoo appointment rescheduled for Sunday (that will probably be its own post) and because of that I also had time to add in a spontaneous tattoo to celebrate the milestone that is me being comfortable enough to take off my shirt first time in public. The rest of the trip in Helsinki was spend going on a Käärijä related solo tourist tour that you may-may not have seen me post about already.

Thank you for reading this gig report and I hope to see some of you again in July.  

[julystruck]

BITTER LITTLE GOD

[aaaaaaaaraaaaaraaa]

Another day foaming at the mouth thinking about richard siken's Wishbone poem

[ruairy]

.

[pluttskutt]

where's the steddie

its in the queueueueueue

[thespacesay]

ID: a tag. #hairdressers desire me carnally / end ID

having thick hair and going to get your hair cut is just having to listen to your hair dresser repeat over and over again how millions of people would commit despicable crimes to have your hair

[be-good-to-bugs]

hi welcom back to the horrors

[jybyls]

Birthday girl || J.O

Masterlist

Synopsis: It's your girlfriend's birthday.

Warnings: Fluff, short, literally wrote this in five minutes.

Words: 140~

- 📜🎧🍂 -

"Happy birthday, my love." You whispered in her ear, softly kissing her cheek to wake her up. She stirred awake, already smiling at your kisses as she stretched her arms out. She contently hummed, slowly opening her eyes to her favourite sight. You.

"Morning, darling." She murmured, gently pulling you into a loving kiss, "I'm twenty-two today." She mumbled against your lips, smiling ever so adorably. You nodded, brushing your nose with hers, "You're twenty-two today." You pecked her lips, then moved to her nose, kissing every single one of her freckles, which made her giggle as she wrapped her arms around you, kepping you close to her. You placed one last peck on her lips, both of you happily smiling.

"Happy birthday, Jenna. I love you more than you know."

That was already an indeed 'happy' birthday

- 📜🎧🍂 -

A/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNA, jesus, she's 22, that's insane. Anyway, I hope she actually has a great birthday <3 (sorry, this is short. I don't have time to actually write something, but I wanted to post on tumblr for her birthday) (btw I'm posting a birthday edit on tiktok)

[aifanficssssss]

Hawks Gets Flustered.

Pairing: Takami Keigo x Reader

Warning(s): None Words: 1552 

A/N: hawks my husband, please tell me if there are grammatical errors, english is not my first lenguaje! also remember this was writed by an AI, i just make a few corrections to make the story make more sense.

Summary: Hawks is a flirtatious bird who doesn't know how to act when her crush respond him with the same energy.

Hawks had always been a bit of a player, always flirting and teasing the girls around him. But there was something about Y/n that made his heart beat faster every time he saw her. Maybe it was her fiery spirit or her bright smile, but he couldn't help but feel drawn to her.

So, he would flirt with her every chance he got, always making her blush and giggle with his suggestive comments. But one day, Y/n decided to turn the tables on him.

"You know, Hawks," she said with a sly smile, "you're not the only one who can dish out the flirting. Maybe I should start giving you a taste of your own medicine."

Hawks was taken aback. He had never heard Y/n speak so boldly before. But instead of feeling intimidated, he found himself intrigued. He wanted to see what she was capable of.

And so, she began to flirt with him in earnest. She would make playful comments and tease him, always with a glint in her eye. Hawks found himself both nervous and excited by her sudden change of attitude.

He tried to keep up with her, but he found himself stumbling over his words and blushing bright red when she said something particularly suggestive. It was a side of Y/n that he had never seen before, and he found himself completely enraptured.

But as the conversation continued, Hawks began to feel more and more nervous. He wasn't used to being on the receiving end of the flirting, and he wasn't sure how to respond. Finally, he decided that he needed to take a break.

"I, uh, I need to go," he stammered, his wings twitching nervously. "I'll see you later."

And with that, he took off into the sky, leaving her laughing behind him. But even though he had been caught off guard by her sudden change of attitude, Hawks knew that he couldn't wait to see what she had in store for him next time.

Hawks flew through the air, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't believe how much Y/n had gotten to him. He had never felt so nervous around a girl before.

As he soared above the city, Hawks tried to shake off his nerves. He had to get his head back in the game. He was a hero, after all. He couldn't let a little flirting throw him off his game.

But no matter how hard he tried to focus, he couldn't get Y/n out of his head. He kept replaying their conversation over and over again in his mind, trying to figure out how he could have responded better.

Finally, Hawks landed on the rooftop of a nearby building, panting slightly from the exertion of his flight. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

"Okay, Hawks," he muttered to himself. "You can do this. Just go back down there and show her what you're made of."

With that, Hawks took off into the air once again, flying back towards where he had left Y/n.

When he finally landed, he saw her standing there, a smile on her face.

"Hey, you made it back," she said, still grinning.

Hawks took a deep breath, trying to summon up his confidence. He was a hero, after all. He couldn't let a little flirting throw him off his game. And so, he approached Y/n with a sly smile on his face.

"I see you're still trying to keep up with me," he said, his voice low and teasing.

Y/n laughed, a sound that made Hawks' heart skip a beat.

"Oh, you have no idea," she replied, her eyes twinkling.

And with that, the two of them launched into a playful banter that lasted well into the night. Hawks realized that he had never felt so alive, so excited, so...happy.

The next day, Hawks was doing his daily patrol of the cityl, his mind was still on Y/n. He couldn't believe how much she had gotten under his skin in such a short amount of time.

He kept replaying their conversation from the previous day in his head, trying to figure out what it all meant. Did she really like him, or was she just toying with him? Hawks was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice when he landed on a rooftop next to another hero.

"Hey, Hawks. What's up?" asked the hero, a woman with long black hair.

Hawks snapped out of his reverie and looked over at her.

"Oh, hey, Midnight," he said, trying to sound casual.

Midnight raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything okay? You seem a little distracted," she said, her voice tinged with concern.

Hawks sighed.

"I don't know, Midnight. There's this girl… and I just can't stop thinking about her," he admitted.

Midnight nodded understandingly.

"I see. And how does she feel about you?" she asked.

Hawks shrugged.

"I don't know. She's really flirty and teases me all the time, but I can't tell if she actually likes me or not," he said, feeling frustrated.

Midnight smiled sympathetically.

"Well, maybe you should just ask her," she suggested.

Hawks felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of actually asking Y/n how she felt about him.

"Really? You think I should?" he asked, feeling nervous.

Midnight nodded.

"Absolutely. It's better to know for sure than to keep wondering," she said.

Hawks nodded, feeling determined. He knew that he had to talk to her and find out once and for all how she felt about him.

And so, he took off into the sky once again, his heart pounding with anticipation. He was going to find her and finally get some answers.

When he arrived at Y/n's apartment complex, his heart sank in disappointment. He had seen her with a guy, and the way they had hugged and said "I love you" to each other had made him feel sad with jealousy.

He was about to fly away and forget about the whole thing when he heard a voice calling out to him.

"Hawks, hi!" Y/n's voice cut through the air.

Hawks turned around and saw her standing at the entrance to her building, looking at him with concern.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, walking up to him.

Hawks tried to act casual, but he knew that he must have looked upset.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just...didn't want to bother you," he said, his voice trailing off.

Y/n looked at him quizzically.

"Bother me? What are you talking about?" she asked.

Hawks hesitated for a moment, then decided to come clean.

"I saw you with a guy, and I just assumed...well, I don't know what I assumed," he said, feeling foolish.

She looked at him, realization dawning on her face.

"Oh, you mean my brother? Yeah, he was just dropping me off. He's in town for a visit," she explained.

Hawks felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Your brother? Oh, I see. Sorry, I guess I just jumped to conclusions," he said, feeling embarrassed.

Y/n smiled at him, her eyes sparkling.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you came back. I wanted to talk to you," she said.

Hawks felt his heart skip a beat. Was this it? Was she finally going to tell him how she really felt?

He followed her inside, his mind racing with possibilities.

As they settled down on the couch, she took a deep breath and looked at him.

"Hawks, I wanted to tell you something," she said, her voice serious.

Hawks felt a knot form in his stomach. This was it. He was finally going to find out how she felt about him.

But before she could say anything, Y/n burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I can't keep a straight face," she said, still giggling.

Hawks looked at her, confused.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

She composed herself and looked at him, still smiling.

"I'm sorry, Hawks. I didn't mean to tease you like that. But the truth is, I like you. A lot," she said, her eyes sparkling.

Hawks felt like his heart was about to explode with joy.

"Really? You do?" he asked, feeling incredulous.

Y/n nodded.

"Yes, really. I've been trying to tell you for weeks now, but every time I try, you always fly away or something," she said, her tone playful.

Hawks felt himself blushing.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to react," he said, feeling nervous.

She leaned in closer to him.

"Well, maybe you could start by kissing me," she said, her voice low.

Hawks felt his heart race with excitement as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.

It was everything he had ever wanted and more.

As they pulled away from each other, they both couldn't help but laugh.

"I can't believe it took us this long to finally kiss," Hawks said, feeling giddy.

Y/n smiled at him.

"Better late than never, I suppose," she said, her voice playful.

Hawks knew that he was never going to let her go. He had finally found someone who understood him, someone who made him feel alive. He was grateful for every moment he spent with her.

[kangals]

what does the grooming process look like for stellina and kep?

my 'process" for grooming is very much what i would call 'poor man's dog training':

get a silicone lick-mat

apply peanut butter very generously

slap that bad boy onto the front of the fridge/kitchen appliances at dog eye-level

groom while they're distracted

i start this process day 1 as puppies and continue it through their whole lives. should i actually be putting in the effort to actually train them to stand still and quietly for grooming without the need for food distraction? yes. do i? no i'm lazy.

or if you're asking about like, what grooming i'm actually doing:

hair: i do an all-over brush at least once a week (should do twice but again, lazy and not needed). takes like 20-30 mins. my 'schedule' for brushing is basically this:

red areas (behind ears, arm/legpits) are high-friction and very prone to matting. these you have to brush out at least once a week, no exceptions, or you will get mats. this is also very sensitive skin so it's good to desensitize them to brushing as much as you can.

yellow areas should be brushed at least once weekly to comb out any tangles and debris, but are less prone to matting.

and then the rest of them i'll brush through but that's about it, that part pretty much never tangles.

i normally just use a pin brush and slicker brush, and a metal comb for the yellow/red areas. sometimes an undercoat rake if they're very sheddy.

collies are 'dry' dogs - they don't really drool, and they don't have the oily waterproof coat that breeds like a lab or hound does, so they're naturally low-odor without much of a 'doggy' smell. i'll bathe every 4-8 weeks depending on what the weather's like and if their skin seems like it's getting cruddy. 2-3 times a year i'll take them to a groomer to have them do a 'deshed' treatment where they really blow out the undercoat, because this makes a huge difference in keeping them comfortable in the heat, and in how much hair i have to vacuum.

for stellina i've also been getting an outline trim (shortening up the yellow areas on the pic with long feathering) in spring and fall, it just keeps things cleaner and it makes a huge difference in the amount of time i have to spend brushing.

feet: i dremel nails every week, same PB-mat method as with brushing. every week is probably overkill but i think it's good desensitization and also i hate long nails on dogs so i'm a bit anal about it. collies tend to get long hair on the feet/between the pads, some people like the 'grinch feet' look but personally i fucking hate it so every 4-6 weeks i just take round-tip scissors and clean them up.

other: the rest i do as needed, e.g. if i see any wax/debris in the ears i'll do a clean with OTC ear cleaner and a cotton ball. one of stellina's eyes tends to be teary, so about once a week i take a warm washcloth and wipe them down to prevent tear stains. and then i vacuum my house weekly, sometimes every 2 weeks if it's not too bad.

honestly i'm writing a lot but what i've listed here is way less than 1 hour a week on average, collies IMO are not particularly high-grooming needs dogs (compared to, say, a doodle or OES that needs daily brushing and regular professional grooming). i find the grooming and hair totally manageable. i honestly prefer dealing with long hair because it tends to clump together on the ground, rather than short hairs that fly and scatter into everything. people tend to see roughs and go 'oh no way too much hair' but like, it is super manageable as long as you've got half an hour at some point each week to brush your dog. i'm very obsessive about my pets being 'neat' and i do fine.

sorry for the incredibly overly-long answer to your very simple ask lmao

[mejomonster]

How did you learn Chinese, like did you use a specific program like Duolingo or did you take classes? How hard was it to read Priest's novels with where you were at in your language learning journey? I want to get back into learning (been wanting to since I watched The Untamed,) but I gave up about 8 months ago 😭

Hey ovo)/ so uh. That's a big question. I have a studyblr @rigelmejo so if you really want the full on journey lol its on there, steps i took and what I studied and progress and study tools I found and used and stuff I've linked for people.

For the shortest tip I can give you? Would be to check out the Heavenly Path site if you're interested in learning to read novels. You'll need to figure out your own way to study about 1000 common hanzi, basic grammar, and basic pronunciation (I link resources on rigelmejo), but after that point the Heavenly Path site has reading resources for graded reading, easier kids novels, easier manhua, webnovels by difficulty level, all the way up! So you can at that point just follow their recommendations and use reading tools they link (like Pleco and Readibu apps which I suggest you download asap - they include tools where you can click a chinese word when reading for translation and audio pronunciation and pinyin). So yeah at 1000 hanzi, just start reading from their suggestions! (Also consider downloading Bilibili Comics app as it has English and Chinese free manhua, so you can start reading manhua earlier, and youtube/viki.com learn mode and Any platforms with dual english/chinese subs and start trying to look up 1 word every 5 minutes or more as curious and practicing reading the chinese words in subs you've learned). I suggest you check out all pages on the Heavenly site, they link a ton of resources.

The short-ish version of what I did the first year I studied chinese? I fumbled a lot, read through an entire grammar guide summary in a few weeks here http://chinese-grammar.com/, watched some YouTube tone videos and went through a pronunciation guide here https://www.dong-chinese.com/learn/sounds/pinyin which took a week or two and I'd do it every few months, read through the book Learning Chinese Characters: (HSK Levels 1-3) A Revolutionary New Way to Learn the 800 Most Basic Chinese Characters by Tuttle publishing in about 2 months (I really liked their mnemonics to help me remember hanzi), started Ben Whatley memrise decks 1000 Chinese common words and 2000 common words (took about 2 weeks to finish one then I took a few months break then studied the other 1000, mainly focusing on studying new words and not reviewing until the last week if I had time - in retrospect I think learners would do better with the Chinese Spoonfed Anki deck but the memrise courses I used worked fine for me). I was watching cdramas as usual most weeks, English subs with the Chinese hardsubs on the video file like most youtube cdramas, with Google Translate app on my phone to look up a word every several minutes as curious. Once I was 3ish months in and learning the memrise Ben Whatley 2000 common chinese words, I read some Mandarin Companion graded readers in Pleco app then some more 300-600 word graded readers in Pleco. That gets me to like month 6ish. Then I started reading manhua and looking up words in pleco or Google translate when I needed to in order to grasp main idea overall (or was curious about a particular word). Kept reading graded readers in pleco.

Around month 8 I tried 天涯客 and 镇魂, both brutally hard. I was reading in Pleco in the Clipboard Reader (from websites) or the Reader tool (i bought it for like $20 dollars along with handwriting recognition, OCR, and expanded dictionaries). Mandarinspot.com has a good reading tool too that can add pinyin if you need it, and Readibu in some ways i prefer to Pleco depending on your particular reading needs on a given day. Tried a few easier webnovels, tried a pingxie fanfic 寒舍 which was hard but easier than priest novels (love that fanfic). I kept bouncing between webnovels then around month 10 天涯客 novels took about 1.5 hours to read through a chapter. At that point I brute force tried to read it or 寒舍 daily with 1 chapter a day, got 28 chapters in before i burned out with 天涯客 and 60ish chapters into 寒舍. It was about a year in. I cram studied 500 hanzi in some common hanzi deck with mnemonics I found on anki over a month, hoping if I improved vocab I'd read easier. I also was gradually trying to watch more cdrama with only chinese subs, around month 6 I finally watched Granting You a Dreamlike life full episodes with no eng subs (about 5-10 word lookups an episode), watched 15ish eps, then after that shows got less daunting to try watching.

A little over a year in Word of Honor came out and I watched it in chinese first because I was too impatient for eng subs. After that went decently I got braver about reading, tried Listening Reading Method (see @rigelmejo for those experiments), more stuff etc like extensive reading with no word lookups.

In retrospect I WISH I'd started with easier novels Heavenly Path recommended. However on the other hand? I've seen people who read their first cnovel with Pleco as early as 3-6 months in which blows my mind. So me picking hard novels to start isn't the Hardest thing in comparison lol. This past year (so at start of year 3 studying lol) I actually read like 10 things on Heavenly Paths easier recommendations and it helped immensely in filling in gaps in vocab and reading fluidity I had. So if you do pick a priest novel as your first novel and manage to chug through it without giving up, be aware "easier" novels may still have stuff you can learn later so don't rule them out as reading materials later on.

I've also seen people do literally no study except maybe some curious Google searches on hanzi or grammar or pronunciation, then brute force read novels in Readibu until they improved. A brutal way to do it but possible. (I really recommend at minimum learning hanzi are made of radicals though as it makes recognizing and remembering them so much easier).

I think the best thing I did for learning to read was just being Brave and Trying to read regularly. And it gradually got less hard.

[pocket-lad]

CH 11- Making Friends

Prev

After an excruciatingly long yet suspiciously short amount of time, the world swung around rapidly and light filtered into the cube. The dust settled, and Adelaide found herself staring up at bright fluorescent lights embedded in a stark white ceiling. She took a very deep breath, relishing in the release of all the stale air.

That was the only deep breath she could manage before a shadow eclipsed her and the same hand from before grasped the top of the cube. It set her on a laminate countertop, full of scuffs and scratches, that was so black it made Adelaide feel like she was falling into a void. All different kinds of scary-looking equipment towered up around her, and even more existed in the distance. But the most pressing issue was the three humans gazing down at her in awe, speechless.

Surrounded on all sides, Adelaide was frozen in the center of her prison. The glass walls, despite being walls, made her feel exposed and vulnerable.

Surprisingly, her captor was the least intimidating of them all. He had a close-cropped beard and graying hair. Adelaide could tell that he was just doing a job, that he had no emotional stake in her existence. But nobody was immune to marveling at such a tiny being, so it looked like he was sticking around.

The two Beans she was worried about were right in front of her. One was a young man with short red hair and freckles and the other a young woman with piercing blue eyes and a long, dark ponytail. They both wore lab coats, which was a very bad sign.

The woman broke the silence, keeping her eyes trained on the borrower. “Thank you, Paul,” she said, dismissing the man Adelaide assumed was her captor.

“What, I can’t stick around?”

“No,” she said shortly, then broke eye contact with Adelaide. “I think they need you downstairs, anyway.”

Paul must have gotten the hint because he threw his arms in the air and waltzed out of the room.

The pressure in Adelaide’s back lifted the minute he was gone, relieving her from the feeling of being watched, at least from behind.

“Alright,” the young man breathed. He leaned in to open the top of the glass cube with a pronounced eagerness in his eyes.

Adelaide backed up slowly, even though there was nowhere to go. Her pace quickened when the man’s gloved hand reached for her. Her back hit the glass wall - hard - and she willed herself to sink into it and disappear forever. She turned her face away, unable to watch as the fingers would soon inevitably wrap around her, securing her in his palm. But they didn’t wrap around her body. They pinched her bag.

Adelaide’s arm was forced upwards, jarring her shoulder out of place for a moment, as the man tugged on her bag, trying to dislodge it. As it soared over her head, she grasped onto the strap in a desperate attempt to hold on to the one thing keeping her grounded.

But obviously the Bean was much stronger than her, so she was yanked into the air along with it. Only when she was halfway to his eye level did the man seem to recognize that she was still attached. Instead of annoyance though, Adelaide faced fascination. Arguably the worst of the two. The man thought it was interesting that she was hanging on.

Unfortunately, he had to get her detached, so he firmly wrapped his hand around her body and tugged. Adelaide fought as much as she could, but this had happened already before. Time and time again. And every single time, she was never able to overpower the Bean’s thick fingers, so it certainly wasn’t happening now. But something in her blood told her she couldn’t stop fighting, no matter the odds.

The latex of the gloves pulled at her delicate skin and the bag was torn from her hands, leaving behind burn marks. The pain in her left hand flared up in a way it hadn’t for a long time.

Before Adelaide could hurt herself worse, the man set her down on that black countertop again, this time outside of the cube. In fact, the cube had completely disappeared. The immovable, giant glass cube that kept her prisoner for hours was simply whisked away by a human.

The impact of her ankles on the counter sent vibrations through Adelaide’s legs that did not feel good. She could hardly keep her balance when his hand pulled away.

“Careful!” the woman chided, but she didn’t seem that concerned. In fact, Adelaide could have sworn she heard a faint chuckle when she said, “You’ll break her ankles!” Little did the woman know, she wasn’t exaggerating.

Adelaide tried to blink away the spots in her vision, which were probably a result of both the oppressive lights and the quick drop. And the impact. And the anxiety. When the spots wouldn’t go away, she started to panic, her breath coming much quicker. And when she panicked, the spots seemed to get worse.

“Why don’t you check on the weapon? Paul left it over there,” the woman told the man, pointing in a direction and making Adelaide duck. She returned her attention to the borrower, who looked on the verge of a panic attack.

“Calm down. I’m not the one you need to worry about. I just need to get your vitals before the doctor comes in,” the woman explained. “He’s the one you need to worry about.” She laughed again. Why did she think she was so funny?

The voice only disoriented Adelaide further. This woman was going to do experiments on her. Some doctor was going to do experiments on her. It was every borrower’s worst nightmare. She was going to become a science experiment, and she’d expose the world of borrowers and the whole species would be in danger because she didn’t think to hide when she heard the goddamn door open. Borrowers would be found, and it was all her fault.

Adelaide’s body was suddenly squeezed on all sides and hoisted into the air. When she was able to straighten out her vision, she was looking at every pore on the woman’s face. When she wasn’t able to keep her vision straight, she was looking at a giant, tan blob. The latex of the woman’s glove was even more uncomfortable than a regular human hand, sticking to her and generating a lot of heat.

“My name’s Clara Marshall. Can you tell me your name?”

Adelaide dizzily shook her head no.

“You can understand me!?” There was a bit more excitement in Clara’s voice.

Adelaide dizzily shook her head no. If she was seeing this correctly, Clara smirked. Fuck. Her chest bubbled, and she squeezed her eyes shut in hopes of quelling both the fear and the vertigo.

“Excellent. Will you be able to sit still while I do a routine checkup?”

“No. Fuck off,” Adelaide spat.

“And you can talk?!”

“No. Fuck off.”

“It’ll make both our lives easier if you don’t move. I don’t want to restrain you and stress you out further, but I will if I have to… I at least assume you have reasoning skills?” Clara ventured.

Adelaide forced her eyes open and shot Clara a strong glare. And besides the occasional twitch, she held her ground.

Despite Adelaide’s hostility, Clara decided to trust that she would stay put. There was quite literally nowhere to go, and even if the borrower did make a break for it, Clara, and any other person nearby for that matter, was much quicker and much stronger.

Adelaide was once again set down, thankfully much gentler, but she still stumbled back, eyes frantically looking around to find a way out of this. She felt naked without her bag and her knife. She needed her bag and her knife. She would know what to do with her bag and her knife.

In the split second Clara’s back was turned, Adelaide sprinted for the edge of the counter, fully intending to leap toward the ground. She’d be no use to them dead. Probably. A chill raced up her spine at the thought of them examining her dead body, but at least she wouldn’t be around to notice it.

Clara turned back and clicked her tongue in disappointment. The borrower was tenacious, that was for sure. But right now, it was a moderate inconvenience. She reached out and gently scooped the girl up, depositing her back in the center of the counter.

Adelaide blinked. She didn’t exactly run full tilt into the hand, but the sudden change in direction still hurt. As soon as the hand let go, she tried again. She wouldn’t just sit still while they experimented on her.

“Please sit still,” Clara said calmly.

“No. Fuck you.” This was quickly becoming one of Adelaide’s favorite phrases.

Clara simply dragged her back again, but kept her in a secure hold when she had her where she wanted her. With her other hand, she placed a clip on the borrower’s arm.

Adelaide tried to get away when she saw the clip approach. The human had it pinched in her fingers so that it would stay open, and she guessed it was about to clamp around some part of her body. And she was right.

When the clip shut around her arm, Adelaide cried out in pain. It felt like it was crushing every single bone in her arm. She tried in vain to push it off, to get it to come loose, to do anything, but it simply wouldn’t budge. Every time she moved, it felt tighter and tighter.  Just when she thought her arm would snap, the clip released. Clara set her back down on the counter to write something in her notes, but Adelaide couldn’t even muster the energy to stand up. This was only the first test and she was already beat.

“Sorry about that,” Clara’s voice rang out. “Didn’t think your bones were that weak. We’ll have to go with plan B.”

Adelaide didn’t want to know what plan B was. It couldn’t possibly be any worse than what just happened though, right? She cradled her arm, ignoring the comment about her weak bones, and tried to focus on literally anything else.

Clara returned with another device. The ends of it were tucked into her ears and it had a long tube dangling from the middle. At the end of the tube was a small metal cylinder. Clara took the cylinder in her hands and brought it toward Adelaide.

Adelaide scrambled back on her hands, unsure what this device was supposed to do. She was becoming more and more aware of just how useless her struggles were, but that didn’t stop her. Clara inevitably scooped Adelaide up again and put the cylinder on her chest.

Adelaide wriggled around, making it impossible for Clara to keep the cylinder in one place.

“Hold still and take deep breaths for me, okay?”

“No. Fuck you.”

Clara huffed, clearly frustrated with the lack of cooperation. The doctor didn’t say that the borrower would be this combative. So, she squeezed just a little tighter, securing Adelaide's arms to her sides. It kept the little thing in one place, but it still couldn’t force her to breathe properly.

“The sooner you cooperate, the sooner this will be over.”

Adelaide stared at Clara. They both knew what her response was going to be. Adelaide didn’t even need to say it. In fact, she purposely forced her breathing into a more erratic pattern, hoping to screw with whatever results this scientist was looking for.

Giving up on that one too, Clara once again released Adelaide on the table. She was luckily able to use a tiny camera to see into Adelaide’s ears, and through a little persuasion by pinching the borrower’s jaw, she could see into her mouth, too.

Adelaide froze completely when the giant fingers squeezed her head. Her mouth was forced open and a camera shoved inside. Her head immediately exploded with pain and she couldn’t close her mouth if she tried. Her jaw would be sore for weeks. But she couldn’t move. If she moved, her head might just get crushed. What a horrible, horrible way to go. Adelaide’s eyes darted around in fear, looking for anything familiar to latch onto, but they found nothing except the fluorescent lights and the cold stare of the female scientist.

The last machine for the time being was a tube with a cushion on the inside. After Clara’s request for Adelaide to stick her arm in the machine was overwhelmingly denied, Clara pinched Adelaide’s arm and stuck it in there herself. The only redeeming factor was that it was her uninjured arm. Uninjured so far.

Adelaide had to freeze again. She didn’t want to. She wanted to fight. But pulling her arm away while it was held between two powerful fingers surely wouldn’t do anything good.

The machine was attached to a tube, which was attached to a giant syringe. Clara started to push on the syringe and Adelaide felt the cuff get tighter and tighter around her arm. She could feel the blood pumping through her veins underneath the cuff, which was unfamiliar and incredibly uncomfortable.

And Clara wasn’t even looking at her! She was looking at some monitor with numbers all over it. The more the woman pushed on the syringe, the tighter the cuff got, and she wasn’t even paying attention!

All at once, the pressure released, and Adelaide pulled her arm out of it faster than anything she’d ever done in her life. She could still feel the pounding of blood in her arm. She tried to shake it off as best she could, which prompted a laugh from Clara.

“Please take your clothes off.”

Adelaide balked. In what world did this lady think Adelaide was going to take her clothes off?

“Luke won’t be coming back. It’s just us,” Clara said as if that would reassure her. “I really don’t want to cut them off of you. They’re so well-made and intricate, I’d hate to ruin them.”

Adelaide backed up, wrapping her arms around her body. She couldn’t seem to take a proper breath anymore. She couldn’t do this. There had to be a way out of this. She couldn’t give in and do what the woman asked - that would be admitting defeat. But the thought of an unknown giant coming in with a pair of scissors over twice her length, cutting off all her clothes was nearly enough to make her pass out.

Slowly, and without taking her eyes off the giant, Adelaide unwrapped her arms and peeled off her jacket. Then her shirt. Then her shoes. Then her pants. She would not undress further. If Clara wanted her to do so, she’d have to pry the underwear off her cold, dead body.

Apparently that was enough. Clara scooped the clothes out of the way and set them off in a place far out of reach.

“Hey!” Adelaide yelled, which was the first thing she said to this person that wasn’t ‘no’ or ‘fuck you.’

Clara didn’t respond, but instead produced a flexible measuring tape. “Are you going to hold still for me now?” And then before Adelaide could respond, she said, “ No, fuck you . I get it.”

Clara poked Adelaide in the chest, which made her fall to a seat. The finger returned and pressed on Adelaide’s chest further, forcing her to lay down. She kicked her legs and pushed at the finger, but she was pinned down good. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Clara did her best to measure the borrower, from her height, to the length of her limbs, to the circumference of her bust, waist, hips, and head, all while manipulating Adelaide’s body this way and that, seemingly with no regard for comfort. The measurements ended up as more of an approximation, but they’d do for now. In time, she’d get the borrower to cooperate.

In the end, Adelaide ended up pinned under Clara’s hand again. The cold surface of the counter seeped into Adelaide’s back, and the latex of Clara’s gloves continued to cause friction burns all over her now less-clothed body. She finally gave up fighting halfway through the measurements, too exhausted to continue further and too scared to cause more damage.

That was until she saw the massive needle headed straight for her. Whatever strength Adelaide had left was put toward escaping. This needle was definitely unbelievably tiny to the humans, but it was still way too big to be anywhere near her.

“You might feel a slight pinch, but after this, it’s over. I promise.” Again, Clara thought her words would somehow reassure Adelaide. What she neglected to mention was that it would be over for now . Adelaide simply couldn’t believe they’d take her vitals and measurements and send her on her merry way. No, they’d let her rest for a while and be back at it again tomorrow.

As much as Adelaide struggled, the hand kept her firmly in place. The needle pierced the skin in her arm, and she somehow managed not to scream. A weird sensation filled her whole arm, well past the site of the needle, and then she saw the tube it was connected to turn red. They were taking her blood. What kind of sick freaks needed her blood?

The longer she sat there though, the weaker she felt. Her thoughts became muddled, her vision became blurry, and her struggles died out. By the time they were done, Adelaide didn’t even register the needle leaving her arm and the hand releasing her body. She laid there, her head nodding side to side in an effort to gain some type of awareness.

“Oof, might have taken too much there… Here,” came the slightly distorted voice of Clara. She scooped Adelaide up and moved her into the premade enclosure, hoping she would take the time to rest. She did feel a little regretful about taking too much blood, but the borrower would survive. They’d be more careful next time.

Adelaide was cold. Even when the ground turned into something much softer than the counter, she was cold. What little heat her clothes provided was now gone. She thought she felt naked without her bag and her knife. But here, in this strange dangerous place with strange dangerous people, wearing nothing but her bra, underwear, and socks, Adelaide felt truly naked. She felt truly vulnerable.

She blinked rapidly. She knew she was somewhere new. The lights were less harsh, the walls were closer, and the ground was softer. As long as the hands weren’t touching her anymore, she figured she could rest up for a moment.

Then, a massive face eclipsed her new world. “Feel free to get dressed. I’ve placed a bucket in there, and we’ll need to collect a urine sample at some point.”  When Adelaide didn’t say anything, Clara continued on a more personal level. “Hey, just be glad I didn’t let either of the men do this. You’ll be thanking me later.”

Adelaide still didn’t respond.

“Seriously. I’m here to help you. If you need anything, just ask.”

Just ask? Okay . 

“Let me go.” Adelaide wished her tone was more commanding but she was unable to muster anything.

A look of pity flashed across Clara’s face. “I’m afraid I can’t do that…” She hesitated. “I hope we can be friends.”

This was enough to shake Adelaide out of her trance. She sat up a little too quickly, and the pain in her head forced her to lay back down. This scientist thought they could be friends? After all that? Adelaide’s body was beaten and bruised. Her mind was on the fritz. All because of these giants who thought they could do anything they wanted just because Adelaide was smaller than them.

This woman didn’t seem to conceptualize the power dynamic here. Friends? She just took advantage of Adelaide without thinking anything of it. She assumed they’d be friends because that’s what she wanted. And so Adelaide would make it her mission to be anything but.

Knowing she wasn’t going to get any more out of Adelaide, Clara left. As far as first introductions went, it could have gone better, but it certainly could’ve gone much worse. She’d count that as a win. And the fact that she was able to communicate with a whole new species was incredible. In every way except size, this person seemed human. Obviously they’d test that out more later, but Clara’s findings amazed her.

Adelaide laid there, staring at the ceiling. That whole procedure could have been ten minutes or ten hours, she wasn’t sure. She ran her fingers through the ground beneath her. It had a papery texture and crumbled in her hands. She played with it for a while, grounding herself with the tactile sensation.

When she felt like she could sit up, she did. Her head still protested and her body wobbled, but she managed to stay upright.

Adelaide was in the middle of a cage. It didn’t look exactly like a cage. At least, not the ones she was used to. The walls were clear, probably some kind of glass. She could see the lab beyond, which thoroughly ruined the attempted homey atmosphere. On one side of her box was a blue dish full of water and another yellow, empty dish. On the opposite end was a pile of fabric. Behind her was a bucket. And up in the very corner was a small, black, shiny surface and an even smaller blinking red light. A camera.

A shiver raced through Adelaide’s body, and she noticed a bit of cotton folded up by the other fabric. The temperature was slightly better in the box, but not by much. She needed to get warm. She slowly crawled toward the cotton and unfolded it to reveal some kind of gown. She begrudgingly slipped it over her head.

While Adelaide instantly felt much more secure and much less exposed, she did not feel much warmer. It was only a thin layer of fabric. So, she stood up and tried to walk toward the fabric pile for more

Immediately, Adelaide’s vision went sideways and she fell over. Her head spun like crazy. What did that scientist do to her?

After a couple minutes, she crawled over to the pile. How pathetic she must look, having to crawl toward everything she needed, shivering and small. Adelaide picked out the thickest fabric she could find and wrapped it around her body. Her next mission was water, which was unfortunately across the enclosure. 

Something told her that she was playing into the scientists’ desires for her. She shouldn’t accept their fabric. She shouldn’t accept their water. But there was something about the body that, when it was desperately in need of something, overrode any sense of will from the mind.

Adelaide dragged herself across the floor, reaching the water dish after what felt like hours. She cupped her hands and brought the water to her mouth, taking a couple small sips. She then splashed her face. That was it. That was all she needed and she’d accept no more from the humans.

Out of energy, Adelaide did not feel like crossing back to the other side again. She curled up in her own little fabric bundle and laid down. She was out within seconds.

***

Adelaide awoke with an even stronger headache than she fell asleep with. She blinked her eyes open, wondering why it was so bright. Did she stay the night with Ian?

And then she felt the paper beneath her and the strange, scratchy fabric around her.

No .

It wasn’t a horrible dream. This was reality. Adelaide had been kidnapped. Ian wasn’t here, and he probably wouldn’t ever be here. Adelaide was alone and in the hands of Human Bean scientists.

Instead of bolting up like her instincts instructed, Adelaide decided to stay where she was. The fabric was warm and she had no desire to show off what she could do or how she lived. Maybe she’d be much more boring than the scientists wanted, and they’d either let her go or forget about her or kill her. Whatever.

The sound of a metal door swinging open alerted Adelaide’s senses. Slowly, she sat up and scooched back into a corner. A person emerged, but their face was obstructed by a clipboard. God, she hoped it wasn’t Clara. She didn’t think her body could handle any more tests today.

But it wasn’t Clara. It was much worse than Clara. And it wasn’t someone Adelaide had seen for a very long time, to the point where she’d almost forgotten about his existence.  The footsteps got louder and shook the ground harder as they approached. The person leaned over the box, and Adelaide found herself staring up into the eyes of Dr. Henry Wu.

“Good evening, Adelaide.”

.

Next

[oh-saints]

can you write about kepa and a teacher? xx

i'd never thought i like writing this but here we are

footballer

you always try to be as accommodating to your students as possible but when the career day comes and you have no idea who might possibly fill in the sick guest star's shoes, your boyfriend comes to the rescue.

kepa arrizabalaga x teacher!reader

word count: 1.4k

note: blurbs for this guy bcs i think i might write too long if i continue LOL but this time i happen to write this during work so ofc this is not proof-read.

“fuck.”

being a teacher to primary school students, you vouch yourself to always try your best to reduce cussing. no matter where, but especially in public places that exposes you to children in general. mcdonald’s during peak time is definitely not a place to decide it’s the best place to swear out all the bad words.

for that fact alone, kepa swings his head towards his girlfriend immediately with pure confusion and worry plastered all over his face. the degree of damage must’ve been too high for her to lose her self-control.

“what’s wrong, amor?”

and there is the face he recognised happen so rarely. the face of someone in the brink of having a mental breakdown—being a teacher, you tries her best to keep her composure at all times, no matter how absurd the kids’ question and imagination might take her.

kepa immediately wraps his arms around you and runs his palm on your back, in the attempt of soothe you. under his touch, he notices a mild tremble running across your body and he can’t help but sway their entangling bodies left and right, peppering kisses on the top of your head as he does so. she must’ve been under so much pressure…, kepa thought.

but that’s what you like about kepa. before you two even got together, you know he’s always going to be a constant fixture in your life because he will always be there for you. when he can’t be with you, he’d make it up in words and long calls until you feel better.

now, you can’t ask for a better boyfriend. he never pushes you to do thing you’re not up for it, like right now. he’d never insist you to tell him what goes wrong immediately and instead would always let you have your own little space first. he recognises that it’s normal to be all over the place for a moment, as long as you get yourself back together as quick as possible—he knows life is always like that, he’s got 90 minutes of game for a weekly simulation.

during the whole queue leading up to the mcdonald’s cashier, kepa wraps you around him like a mother koala to her joeys. you don’t mind, for you always like hugging him. despite his slender figure, he’s firm and sturdy from all the muscles and it’s as if you’re holding your pillar of life. in which, in a way, is what kepa is in your life.

and he likes having you clinging to him because your figure somehow moulds perfectly into his, filling his curves nicely like a pretty glove but never suffocating. just like your relationship; built tightly upon trust so you don’t suffocate each other.

“you know the career day is tomorrow,” you start, as you peel off the paper of his bigmac. it’s now becoming a habit to prep his food first before you, and it’s becoming kepa’s personal reason to bring you for a meal out for that reason alone. “and i managed to get this astronaut to come as my guest star this year,”

kepa manages to slip a muchos gracias, baby and throws her a smile as he receives the bigmac from her hands. “let me guess, he bailed.”

“he died this morning, kep,” you huff out your frustration because who else are you going to bring to the career day? it’s basically the only day where the teachers are competing to flaunt their best contacts on their phone. “it took me months to get him on board and now i don’t know who else to bring at such a short notice.”

“is the job footballer allowed for the career day?”

＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊＊✿❀○❀✿＊

you know kepa’s always man of his words and know that he’ll always be there to support you through thick and thins but damn. you didn’t expect him to truck through your damage control plan.

well, technically it’s his. kepa offered himself to fill in the astronaut’s empty shoes for the career day.

you, at first, panicked. that was pretty much given. because at this point, kepa knows the drill—a student of yours would ask how you can get to know and befriend such an important figure. you can’t exactly say kepa’s your boyfriend because it doesn’t seem ethical to bring your boyfriend, someone so personal, to your professional life.

let’s also not forget the whispers and suppressed talks behind your back because you’re date the kepa arrizabalaga, chelsea’s number 1 goalkeeper. funny because you’re sure some of them know about you and kepa, the mainstream gossip was the one who spilled the hot tea of him dating a mere commoner a long time ago.

but the moment you introduced kepa to your class and was met by a very rowdy response, especially from the boys, all of your worries are replaced by relief and you can’t say enough silent thank you over your shoulder as he stands behind you, facing the excited class with warmth that can contend the sun shining outside.

and maybe he melts you more than the bright sun by the way he handles the hyped children effortlessly good for what’s considered his first try. he entertains as much questions as possible and provides a reasoning logical enough for kids in the case he can’t answer their question. he walks around the room to attend to them personally, even going as far as crouching to meet their eye level whenever they’re too shy to say something.

he controls the room with ease but in a fun way that gets the kids immediately listen to him. he gains respect from both boys and girls alike. no wonder he’s kept his first-choice place for a long time and now obtains back the gaffer’s trust on his capacity and capability.

“can you tell us your match-winning technique?”

kepa’s impressed by the question. the daring challenge, for instance, but also for the words the child uses to construct his question for his age. but he’d surmised as much, for you’re an exemplary teacher to begin with, especially on things related to words. he used to refer you as the walking thesaurus for your broad knowledge on literature, but now he’s more proud than anything that you’ve influenced the kids in a good way.

“how about if i show you instead?” kepa then switches his attention to you, who’s standing attentively at the back of the class, only interrupting when the question queue gets out of order. “can we do that?”

“outside?” your eyes scream panic because getting these kids to behave indoor is one thing, but outdoor is a whole new different game. “on the field?”

“we’re not allowed to play football inside, are we, miss?”

your student’s rebuttal and you’re lost. kepa had to smile at the smart remark that cornered you to a checkmate position, these lots are definitely your students.

but kepa once again proves you wrong. if he’s that good with kids inside the classroom, you underestimate him with kids outside of the classroom. more over on the grass, with a foot ball on top of that. he’s back in his habitat, for the lack of words, and he might be your own contender to be the class’s best teacher.

as he promises, he shows the class the basic techniques to be a good goalkeeper, fixes the postures for those who get it wrong. he then proceeds to show the kids his signature move and also why footballer should also be considered as career, not just a mere occupation most of people rather overlooks. all with the level of patience you never know you can possess.

at the end of the day, your class wins the best presentation and garners envious looks from other classes and teachers. but most of all, your students gain a valuable lesson they might not understand now, but definitely useful in the future. and a good time, on top of that.

as soon as you slide yourself into the leather of kepa’s expensive automobile after wrapping up everything, you waste zero second to place a perfectly strategised kiss on your boyfriend’s lips. your sudden movement startles kepa, but before he can digest his shock, you move to give him another kiss. deep and slow this time, taking your time to express your gratitude for what he’s done today silently, as well as giving kepa time to kiss you back.

and kiss you back he did.

“you’re the best, baby,” you say as you pull away, albeit with a heavy heart because kepa’s lips are very plump for his size and makes him more kissable and addicting than you’d like to admit. “what do i do without you, hmm?”

[godsjoke]

I need someone to make the Akira meme with Eiffel and Kepler.

Either the scene when Kepler say’s “I’m gonna get you, a cookie.” Or the long story short scene when my man’s Kep is annoying the shit outa Eiffel with “that there pig is the greattttest piiiiig oooon Earth!!”

Please 🙇🙏I need this lmao

I think it would be very slay

[heyhihellosworld]

𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁

Kepa Arrizabalaga x reader

Word count: 1k

Summary: Kepa keeps you close trough ups and downs

Warnings: Fluff, talk about sex

Notes: This gif was too cute, my Tuchel heart is crying and also so so happy he is baaack! Also this is a very short one but I didn't wanna drag it out and felt like a great end for it.

It had been a rough season, not only for Kepa but for you too. He said he was fine, that he was working to get better and that he was happy with the matches he got but you knew he was gutted. Having come in to Chelsea as a star-keeper, standing in every match to sitting on the bench the whole season was meant to be tough.

But he did as he said. He accepted that Mendy was better right now and took his time to train and develop even more to be ready when the day would finally come. He respected Tuchel, he loved Tuchel and knew he was right in the decision, that Mendy was better.

You tried to be supportive, keep pushing him to train and support the team from the bench but you could see and feel how hard it was. He was a great keeper and to know that and still see him on the bench was hard, not only for you but for fans too.

You would never be happy that someone was injured, especially not a friend like Mendy but you were happy that Kepa got the chance to make justice for his name, to get a revenge from the bench.

Keeping the clean sheet was important and when he succeeded he was over the moon, his smile contagious and the hug he gave you outside the changing room made your whole body flutter.

Tuchels sudden departure from the club was a punch in the gut, despite being benched Kepa loved the coach but as always he kept his head up, did the best of the situation and got to start in the next game, keeping the clean sheet.

He liked his new coach, talking to you about it, venting his feelings about being a part of the head fight to be standing within the poles again.

When Mendy was all fit and ready again and Kepa still got to stay in the goal you could tell how happy he was, not in any way because of winning the keeper spot over Mendy but because it was his passion, football was his passion and obviously you wanted to be apart of the real action.

In the game against Aston Villa you were sat on the stand. You had denied the box-spot and instead opted for a seat far down close to the Chelsea goal, planning to switch spot the next half-time to be close to the Kepa-action.

It was intense, Villa being a real attacking team, not letting Kepa rest at all. You screamed and cheered with the fans at all the amazing saves he did. You felt beyond nervous, your stomach fluttering and almost being unable to look but he was like spider man in goal and when the final whistle finally blew you cheered as loud as you could before exiting and sneaking your way into the players-area, waiting in the hallway as he did all the after-match talk and changing.

It wasn't too long tough until you spotted his brown curls in the door, soon met by the smile that lit up the whole room and you couldn't help but to giggle and run up to give him a huge bear hug.

"You were so good Kep" you smiled up at him, arms wrapped around his waist, his around your hips, hands resting on your ass and his smile was dazzling

"Thank you" he smiled "Felt so good to get that clean sheet, agh I love being back" he grinned, giggling like a school kid but it was adorable really. His eyes shining and smile contagious.

"I mean it, you deserve it"

He leaned down towards you, slowly and lovingly connecting your lips in a slow, sensual kiss. You didn't want it to stop and neither did he so you simply didn't. Only parting seconds to catch a quick breath.

"Oh wow guys" you heard a chuckle behind you making you break apart.

You turned around to be met by a grinning Mason Mount and Kai Havertz.

You knew most of the boys pretty well having been on several dinners and events plus some of the 'guy' nights Kepa was dragged too. You were at every game you could and were often around the training area to pick him up after a training or meeting.

"Hi guys" You smiled, untangling from Kepa and meeting them as they walked towards you, hugging Mason first "Good game Mase, two goals huh, amazing" you smiled, hugging Kai as well "You did great to Kai" You encouraged even if the german didn't seem to think so himself.

"Thanks y/n but Kepa was the real star today" Mase grinned, giving Kepa a bro-hug, Kai following his example, patting the Spaniards back.

"So, as we already told Kepa we are going out tonight, he said no but... do you wanna go? Maybe you can force him"

You chuckled, looking at Kepa who looked sheepishly att he floor. "You didn't wanna go huh?" you teased, knowing exactly why he didn't wanna go.

His cheeks reddened and you couldn't help feeling slightly bad for your boyfriend, walking to him and wrapping one arm around his back.

"Thanks Mase but I think we will have a home-night tonight" you smiled softly, Kepa looking at you from the side, smiling at your answer. "Okay, say no more you dirty people" he chuckled. You smiled, looking at Kepa who took the lead, "Well bye, see you Monday" He bid farewell "See you boys" you smiled, walking with Kepa out of the stadium and into the car.

"So" You grinned as you sat behind the wheel, drumming your fingers against the steering wheel.

Kepa sighed "I'm sorry okay, I didn't mean to take anything for granted. I just wanted to spend the evening with you, I don't care what we do" he admitted.

You smiled at his soft expression, your whole body fluttering with butterflies as you looked back at him and processed his words. "I know Kep, I was just teasing and despite, I will probably give you a little reward if you're up for it later"

He grinned at your words, leaning back into the seat with a content sigh as you drove off from the stadium and towards your home.