#or 'other people have it worse'
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I hate how the only acceptable response in front of personal tragedies is fear and commiseration. I'm angry I'm angry I'm angry and I despise how it gets me condescending looks instead of the pity support that fear would get me instead
#i hate it so much because when you don't talk people don't take you seriously#but when you do talk you have to watch your tone and your emotions because otherwise ā#'you're making too much of a scene' or 'oh i didn't know it was that bad'#or 'other people have it worse'#or 'you should have said something sooner'#The sad thing is that it all comes from people near me or from professionals#apparently having more than one bad thing going on at the same time annoys people around you#who feel like your trying to rob their spotlight with your shitty life#god i hate it here#and let's not talk about the money required to get good treatment#and time#and the precariousness of the job market#I'm so scared#it's just not ny fault that my first response to fear is reacting#roba mia
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āthese characters should be mentally healthy before they get together šā ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes
#they should live under each otherās skin in a way thatās weird to everyone else. actually.#also on a more serious note since this is getting notes mental illness does not preclude people from deserving love#or the ability to give and receive it#it also does not make you inherently toxic#sometimes people are just toxic anyways of course#and a lot of people enjoy a toxic ship and are relating that to this and thatās cool!#but like#if you believe thatās the only option youāre wrong buddy#people can be worse together but they can also be better#acting like a character or a person has to āfixā their trauma or what have you to be worthy is. a fucking weird mindset.#but anyways!
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shoutout to people who don't have a "before" the trauma.
shoutout to people who don't have any sweet or nostalgic childhood memories. to people who don't remember enough of their childhood to know what the before was like. to people who lost their innocence before they ever learned the word for it. to people whose pasts were too painful to keep around in any form. to people who only knew trauma, and don't have an idea of what life would be like without it. to people who can't long for "the better days" because there weren't any.
you deserve a good future. i hope it's there for you soon.
#trauma#ptsd#childhood trauma#sorry just. feeling shitty about not having a past anymore#and please i'm so tired please for the love of god don't tag this with self deprecating shit like 'but i dont deserve anything'#you're only feeding into your mental health getting worse and you're using other peoples attempted positivity to do it#its just mean to both you and the op
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nothing makes me more insane than the phrase "selling your body" btw. like was i not also selling my body at every other job i've had where i had to be on my feet all day, lifting boxes, working in a warehouse, etc. why is it that sex work is uniquely labeled as "selling your body" while every other job is sorted into another category, no matter how much that job might have a physical impact on your body. lmao.
#personal#sw#in fact i have had worse long term physical effects from my jobs that were not sw. as a matter of fact#anyway also related conversation to be had about how most of the human trafficking in the US is not sex trafficking but is in fact other#types of labor that is trafficked#and that if you include prison labor as human trafficking based on different definitions. there is a lot of important connections we can dr#draw. about labor. power. control. and how to build solidarity to actually fight for people's right to free + safe working conditions and#self determination
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Ok no I do have to make it itās own post bc I donāt remember the bookās scene in detail but Annabeth seeing the fates cut a string at the arch is so fascinating. Bc we know thatās Lukeās string. Heās not dying soon, but itās been decided when he will die.
The moment the fates decide that Luke will die and when is right after Percy sacrifices himself. Right after he shows Annabeth his care and loyalty. That she is worth saving. That she doesnāt deserve the wrath intended for her. A set of dominoes has just been toppled and when they all finally fall, she will stand between Luke and Percy and choose Percy. From this moment, from this early on, Lukeās fate is sealed.
#sorry to spam the timeline with PJO stuff but I have Thoughts#pjo#percy jackson#percabeth#pjo spoilers#percy jackson spoilers#I donāt remember if sheās the one who sees it happen in the book or not but other peopleās posts make me think not?#the scene is significant in and of itself but having her see a fate sealed that will be inadvertently bc of her is soooo good#main trio season 1: it canāt get any worse right? me clutching 9 other books: oh dear
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What if when Michael got Distortioned he/they/it/(?) had just kept showing up to work? Imagine Gertrude comes into the archives and finds a bunch of paperwork filled out in yellow highlighter and folded into impossible shapes, and then Michael-Distortion just walks into the room door-style and sits down at his work computer so it can email Gertrude a phishing scam.
#the magnus archives#tma#michael distortion#the distortion#i think this would make everyoneās lives worse#the eye š¤(<-phishing) the spiral#tricking someone into thinking youāre someone they can trust so that theyll give you info they can use against you?#that shits both eye and spiral coded af tbh#edit: for those who have said that they want a fic of this i would like to clarify that other people can do what they want with this idea#but i personally cannot write for shit#so i cannot provide a fic. unless you want it bland as hell and written in ieee format#sorry yāall. my skillsets are infodumping about spiders unprompted and eating chicken nugget
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Itās not that I donāt LIKE the Fandom Popular Pairings, itās that I find the assumption that everyone ships them and the general all-consuming nature of said pairings to be kinda exhausting,
#the funny thing about me getting into pro////////seka is that i can FINALLY articulate this#because it somehow feels worse than in any other fandom Iāve been into#that said Iāve been thinking about this for a while#also hi. if youāre here to throw some āhave some originalityā comment please donāt thatās not the fucking point.#itās not āthey suck because theyāre unoriginalā itās āitās very frustrating to feel mildly positive to neutral#about a ship everyone keeps shoving down your throatā#people can be like this with any and all ships. itās just that the popular ones tend to have this attitude be totally inescapable
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I finally watched breaking bad (all within the past week or so while I worked, finished it and watched el camino last night) and I'm confident this isn't a new thought I'm expressing or anything but genuinely how DID an entire generation of dudes convince themselves Walter White was cool and admirable and intended to be sympathetic. I know ppl just lack media literacy sometimes but I'm still so confused
I don't think I've EVER watched a piece of media that so blatantly depicts a guy making the worst possible decisions at every turn and having his life ruined for it and not being redeemed or made sympathetic in any significant or lasting way. the kinds of justifications villains USUALLY give that make people consider them "morally grey" or "tragic" or whatever (everything I did was for my loved ones, I did what I had to to survive, once I was in this I couldn't get out, I just needed you to trust me so I could keep you safe, etc etc) is ALWAYS framed as complete self-serving bullshit when Walt says it, and one of the only shreds of personal growth he ever exhibits in the whole series is when he finally fucking admits that. every time he does something even remotely cool or drops a quotable one-liner, something terrible immediately happens that makes everything worse and makes him look like an unreasonable idiot asshole again. by the end of the series the ONLY characters they can still contrast as being morally "worse" than him are literally a bunch of bloodthirsty neonazis who kept a guy in a cage for several months. this show is practically SCREAMING at you the entire time not to admire Walt. why did every dude I knew in highschool have his face on tshirts and Facebook pfps.
I just don't get it. at least with The Dark Knight's Joker it was like, a feature-length movie and that's it. you spend a lot less time with the Joker and it has a lot less time to delve into his motivations, so there's way more room for flanderization and misinterpretation as people extrapolate the few cool/interesting/sad things they saw into a whole nuanced misunderstood guy in their heads and online. Walter White has 5 seasons' worth of 45min episodes to convince you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a miserable fucking loser who ruins everything he touches because of greed and selfishness. if you weren't watching it for that, what WERE you getting out of this. what DID you think this show was about. am I just missing some key piece of context from 2012 or whatever that would help me understand this
#buny text#breaking bad#also I'm vaguely aware there was a big movement of fans who blamed everything on his wife and said she was the worst#which like. obvious misogyny from the primary audience of teen boys and young men aside#she's not really worse than any of the other adult characters?? she sucks real bad in the first couple seasons but so does everyone else#half the point of having all these characters be so shitty and rigid and unwilling to grow or accommodate others is so that#they can serve as landmarks to show how rapidly walt is abandoning his morals and spiraling into self-justification as the series goes on#the people you hate in season 1 are largely people you sympathize with in season 4 and 5 because compared to walt they're saints#idk. it's just weird having grown up around the fan culture for this show for the past decade or so and then finally watching it#and just being completely baffled now that i know what they were responding to
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Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man š" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.
#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man#and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans#but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women!#and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women#let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever#or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him'#yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge#transhet#anti-transmasculinity#again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too#antimasculism
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dev dimmadome#fop dev#dale dimmadome#emetophobia#art#digital art#fanart#comic#Sorry for taking so long on this I was procrastinating bcs its just kinda a context page that needs to exist for other stuff to happen#I love it when they interact like disgruntled roommates#like on one had he SHOT HIM on the other hand whats Dev supposed to do? Go no contact?? Hes ten#This takes place like 2 days after the deer attack#Dale got whisked away to fairy world to get speed healed and had his memory wiped of the whole thing#Devs relationship with his dad is so messy cause like yes his dad hurt him but also thats his dad and he loves him.#even if his dad doesnt love him back#He wants to Want To Hurt his dad. thats the right way to feel about after what he did. and he does feel that way sometimes.#but on some level its was kind of a relief to hear that he couldnt wish harm on people#because even if he could he isnt sure he could go through with it#and there would be nothing worse than having the power to do something and yet. not#sorry if that sounds insane#complicated relationships with your abuser my beloved#also just the quiet acceptance Dev has for (what he thinks is) Peri straight up lying to his face#Dev likes Peri a lot but he is also deeply aware that Peri hides a lot of things from him#I think he appreciates that Peri tries to shield his feelings. His dad doesnt do that#ofc Peri isnt actually lying here I just think the layers of such a small interaction are hilarious
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Meme Prompts 14
#meme#memes#prompts#cryptid batfam#cryptid batfamily#cryptid batman#batman au#They're pretending to be cryptids so good#wing au?#wing au#They also created their own whistle-chirp-click language#There's a lot of in-gotham memes that don't really break containment but the few that have confuses people#Yes it is in fact a running joke in Gotham that Bruce & Batman are co parenting all of Gotham#The bats won't kill you but they'll do worse if you're doing all this for shits and giggles#Everyone knows Jason is Red Hood & the Second Robin but they think it's a possession scenario#Jason (theatre nerd that he is) leans into this hard#Bruce & the kids use their wings & other vigilante gear to stim while out & about#This makes them horrifying to see in the dark because it makes their silhouettes body horror-esque lol
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perhaps the most important question iāve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that arenāt weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource iāve ever found or tried to get through or anyone iāve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but thereās so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i donāt think people can untie that from their āhelpful tipsā#itās all āi used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you donāt have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!ā and itās like. okay.#you see how thatās not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any āon timeā person#ever had#this has been a comic iāve been stewing on for ages as well but. well thereās of course the shame#idk itās something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ātry harderā to fix. and that if you donāt#you inherently donāt care about other peopleās time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean iāve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#itās something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. theyāre always always viewed as a personal failing#and iām sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Donāt care about anyone else#thereās a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.
If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.
Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.
#positivity#disability positivity#partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability#i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue#and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect#but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy#but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do#and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst#man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe...#...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him...#...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed...#...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that...#...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried
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theatre etiquette is at an all time low, yāall cannot be singing and shouting things at actors. period.
theyāre doing their jobs, and i did not pay the ticket price to listen to you.
#just saw back to the future andā¦jesus christ#whatever was said after johnny b goode#it only got worse after that#and i heard about the thing that happened at the outsiders#we cannot be acting like this#or when shows blow up on tiktok and people show up to sing/film#i remember the waitress incident#this goes for all shows btw#i just know chicago is gonna have issues with we both reached for the gun blowing up the way it has#i was at a COMMUNITY THEATRE production of sweeney todd and the girls behind me were singing a little priest#but it was obvious they had only seen the johnny depp version bc they were thrown off by the other lyrics#broadway#musicals#theatre#back to the future musical#the outsiders musical#waitress musical#chicago musical#100
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How many people witnessed softie food addict horror who needed something in his mouth or he would actively kill and turn to cannibalism š§āāļø or was that just me.... anyways honestly it was silly.. he'd maybe get along with cook horror... I just like fanon crossovers guys*sadge
Anyways canon horror is also silly(really silly. What an asshole, man)(no seriously he's actually such an asshole.. I might love him for that but-) I don't think he would get along with the others(loser)
#me when I acknowledge as many sides of an argument as possible which just makes me confused because I am trying to take off of other people#but they're so diverse that I can't mix all of it and so I don't know how to interpret any characters anymore and what makes it worse is my#ahh not actually understanding people or relationships because I got minimum emotions maximum carelessness but I also love emotions so I#love the psychological torture of all of this but I also don't understand it so I'm depending on everyone else but yet again they're so#mixed I get confused and I don't know how to deal with any of it so I'm just here standing confused screaming in my own mind as I try to#understand how to make it all work together and then#....#Jesus fuck#sans au#utmv#undertale au#horrortale#horror sans#UwU#anyways disregard any ideas I may have ever because they will always change and I don't know what to do anymore.......#bro I'm boutta resort to Wattpad fics.... get ready for Wattpad highschool ficš¼/j#I want to do that but I lost my fluidity in writing sighs...#I never graduated from Wattpad sorry guysš#I didn't do that well drawing canon horror tbh but it'll have to do
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