#apparently having more than one bad thing going on at the same time annoys people around you
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I hate how the only acceptable response in front of personal tragedies is fear and commiseration. I'm angry I'm angry I'm angry and I despise how it gets me condescending looks instead of the pity support that fear would get me instead
#i hate it so much because when you don't talk people don't take you seriously#but when you do talk you have to watch your tone and your emotions because otherwise “#'you're making too much of a scene' or 'oh i didn't know it was that bad'#or 'other people have it worse'#or 'you should have said something sooner'#The sad thing is that it all comes from people near me or from professionals#apparently having more than one bad thing going on at the same time annoys people around you#who feel like your trying to rob their spotlight with your shitty life#god i hate it here#and let's not talk about the money required to get good treatment#and time#and the precariousness of the job market#I'm so scared#it's just not ny fault that my first response to fear is reacting#roba mia
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Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice
#like I get that you're financially stressed but also it feels a bit rich to complain about it when you're on student allowance (not loan)#and your parents still contribute to things for you even though allowance is supposed to be for people whose parents can't afford to help#and you get multiple scholarships a year even though you're technically not eligible for half of them anymore but then as soon as the money#comes in from those you spend it all on a brand new dress for your sister's hen's do picnic because you can't wear the same dress as you#will for the actual hen's night or the wedding. Better buy a full price one at an expensive store instead of looking in a single op shop or#borrowing one from one of your three sisters who are all roughly the same size#god life must be so tough for you getting the same amount of money as the rest of us on student loan except you only have to pay back half#like the only money you have to live off is the same as what the rest of us get + scholarships (plural) plus what you earnt in your summer#internship? how could you possibly survive??#anyway I am NOT a fan of people who are like 'oh you say you have no money for rent but you have a phone?' because that's bullshit#and the whole 'millenials need to stop eating avocado toast so they can buy a house' thing is also bullshit#however. If you pay $60/week for a gym when you have access to the free uni one (or any other gym in the country is like $20)#and you buy uber eats multiple times a week for like $30+ each time despite having a premade meal in the fridge. and you get multiple#scholarships which mean you are arguably among the more well off students. AND you impulse buy things that cost over $100 regularly#then maybe the problem is not that you don't have enough money to split the rental costs of a washing machine (<$3 each/week)#maybe you are just bad with money#which is fine like it's not like it's unfixable it's just annoying when you act like you're worse off than people whose only money is what#they get from student loan each week so they eat beans on rice for dinner for a week#because that's all they could afford (yes I know people who did this. Yes she complained more than them)#so no I don't think I'm gonna be taking financial advice from you babes because one of us has entertained the idea of a budget to help with#finances and it's not you xx#(she turned down offers of financial help/advice/books to borrow from multiple people multiple times. I 100% get that you might not want to#talk to people about it especially your friends but we had multiple books on finances lying around the flat which she always said she didn't#need. And then she'd continue to complain that she didn't have enough money#god forbid you suggest something like going to a cheaper gym (or worse. The perfectly fine free uni gym!)#again. Her gym cost $60/week for most of last year until they brought in a student discount which was 'only' $45/week#the next most expensive gym chain I can find costs maybe $30/week for the highest membership level#to get what she was getting she would only need like a $20 membership#BUT to be fair she wouldn't get such strong culty vibes at any other gym#lol anyway sorry for the rant. I could keep going but apparently you can only have 30 tags and this is the last one
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"Another damn Super."
Shotgun Sally had had her fill of fighting superheroes. Henching used to be easy. Crack some safes, intimidate some people, stand guard at some deals. It's the only skillset she's ever had, and she was happy doing it. She had no interest in moving up - too much paperwork and headache - and going straight was impossible with her record. No, henching was where it's at. Or it used to be. Until those meteor storms a few years ago. People getting superpowers from the radiation. Started wearing costumes. Ridiculous. Comic book stuff. Job hadn't been the same since.
Intel came in. Sally answered the phone, writing down all the info in her notebook as usual. New hero. Contact said she goes by "Miss Fire." Left a calling card, apparently? Stupid name. Basic. Probably young, unsponsored. Hasn't been caught on camera yet, but apparently some deals went bad. Bodies at the scene had third degree burns on their hands and faces. Not one of those no-killers, this one. The name made her easy to figure out. Typical energy projection hero, probably has flamethrower breath or shoots fireballs. You hear it all the time, kid gets some flashy powers, gets full of herself, decides to be a crime fighter. Nobody ever trains the Supers to care about human life. Sally'd never had a reason to kill anybody in her work. Some rounds at the feet usually scares people into compliance. At most she'd take a few teeth or break some bones, but she'd never killed. What was their excuse?
Sally was tense. The contact was late. Deal was supposed to be done by now. That meant something was up. But it wasn't her decision whether they pulled out or not, that was up to the boss. She was watching a rat eat a pizza. Then she heard it. Gunfire, sounds of burning and screaming. "We got a Super!" A nod from the boss, and Sally was off.
Sally darted around a corner. There she was. The kid wasn't exactly what she was expecting. Usually these flashy types are dressed in spandex, or wearing heels (ridiculous), but this one was wearing simple boots and a parka. What confused Sally most of all was the lack of any glowing. Usually with these energy projection heroes you could tell what bodypart their powers came from by a residual glow, especially if they'd used their powers recently. Nothing around the throat or the hands.... In fact, her hands weren't even out. They were in her pockets. She looked totally relaxed. Was this not the hero?
Sally leveled her shotgun. She was about twenty paces away. Standard procedure with heroes was to keep your distance, in case they have melee powers. But she was more than close enough to turn the girl into a cheese grater if need be. She had to find out if this was the hero or not. Sally always preferred the direct approach. "Miss Fire, I presume?"
"That's me," the girl replied. Her face was blank. "You don't wanna be pointing that thing at me."
The girl's candor was annoying. "I believe I do. See I've been hearing about you hurting my people. I can't have that."
"They shot first. It wasn't on me."
"I'm gonna give you one chance to get out of here. It's past your bedtime."
"Make me."
Alright, that was enough talking. Sally couldn't tell if this kid had powers or what, but there was only one way to find out. Sally switched her shotgun to a low-spread mode and aimed between the girl's feet. If this wasn't the Super, this would scare her off. If she IS the Super... well, whatever happens happens.
Sally almost missed it. In a swift motion, the girl took her hands out of her pockets and opened both at Sally as if to reach out to her. Sally's reflexes kicked in, throwing herself to the ground to dodge the oncoming fireball or laser beam or whatever it was. But nothing came. The girl was just standing there, with her arms out. She looked like an idiot. Sally got up. "Of all the... what the hell do you think you're doing? I could've shot you."
The girl seemed surprised that she hadn't. She looked scared. "Usually they do by now..." she whimpered. She suddenly turned around and started running in the other direction. Sally was stunned. She was about to chase after her, but then she heard a noise she didn't like. Her gun. It was hissing at her. In fact, it was glowing. Alarmed, Sally threw the shotgun away from her as fast as she could. As it collided with the ground, it exploded into a ball of purple and blue flames.
Sally sat on the ground, watching the smoking remains of her favorite gun. She took her notebook out, and flipped to the info about the new hero. She crossed out "Miss Fire" and wrote "Misfire" under it.
"I hate Supers."
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I need people to remember that Nya was also in love with Jay since day 1, its just that it wasn’t her biggest priority seeing as she was going through a whole thing called insecurities and finding who she is outside of her brother and outside of her parents and outside of her village and outside of Jay.
Nya loves Jay the same amount, she has loved Jay just as long as Jay had, but her love for Jay wasn’t something she was willing to pursue when absolutely everyone would dumb her down to just that. The same way everyone was already dumbing her down to Kai’s sister the second they all met, and the same way they were already dumbing her down to just the love interest between Jay and Cole even after finding her identity and place as Samurai X. Imagine how much it hit her when Samurai X, and image she crafted so carefully with so much love and attention and pride, was suddenly belittled and mocked because apparently he was actually a she.
And you can’t forget the fact that she was suddenly forced to grapple with another new identity as the water ninja, and then had to deal with all the hate and mockery and belittling everyone was doing as she wasn’t just the water ninja, but the girl ninja. Its not easy to hear the comments people from a whole city make of you because of your gender. Even people from your own gender, and it must’ve been even worse because no one else understood, they knew it was a problem but they still believed her reactions were too over the top. The stress of all of that and then also having someone she loved but wasn’t ready to love with try force another path onto her was bound to stress her out.
Jay wasn’t necessarily an ass during that season, from what i can remember. He was a whole mess yeah, his insecurities making him take actions he wouldn’t have before and try forcing his wants and desires onto someone else who wasn’t ready for it. But he grew and learnt and stopped all that as the season progressed. He had to understand that the people around him won’t just leave or downgrade him, and that he must ease his own anxiety and understand that whatever happens will happen for the good of them all. That doesn’t change the fact that his actions in the beginning was a shi show though, so no wonder Nya pushed him away during that time. Reminder that you can still be angry and annoyed at someone you love, especially when they deserve it.
Not to mention she has never been all that vocal with her affection. Not like Jay. You know she cares and loves you simply through the way she trusts people but shes also been a lot more locked up over her emotions, and thats okay. Because Jay knows (haha, knew.) that Nya loves him just as much because if she didn’t she would very obviously state that. She may not be vocal over her emotions or her love for someone, but she is over her opinions. She won’t just let someone use her or mess with her because she feels bad or that she has too.
Right now, for Nya and Jay’s character, I’d rather focus on the identity crisis that JAY is going through now instead of Nya, and of how NYA is the one chasing and wanting to bring Jay into her life despite him not wanting (not being ready?) to do so. I’d rather focus on her development as a character and now as a teacher. And how Nya is going to change and grow like how Jay changed and grew in Skybound for her. Honestly I would love a lot more focus of developing Nya’s character as an adult who is horrible at being vulnerable and how she will grow, with the whole ‘Nya and Jay!’ Thing just a tad bit more in the background and used as more of a kick up for it. And for us to watch what may happen to Jay as he changes in a new environment with new memories and experiences.
For once, i want to watch them grow separately rather than watch them grow for each other. I know Nya can do that, but it’s only with Jay having lost his memories that he’s now capable of doing that for himself and only himself.
Sorry this was huge throw up of a rant so honestly just believe that this is five random points shoved into one post and rambled in a horrible way
Edit: reminder that Nya didn’t just disregard her feelings for Jay just so she wouldn’t be placed as simply his girlfriend, but also because she had many other worries. Completing missions and making sure everyone lived, being the biggest brain and planner in the team for ages, as well understanding her self outside of her town that she lived in for ages. Kai was able to fond himself easily amongst the other ninja, but Nya didn’t have that. So obviously she, as a 13-16 year old young teenage girl, would rather focus on finding new hobbies and having new experiences than pursuing a love life she wouldn’t even be confident in pursuing in. Jay and Nya are not each other only priority or worry, their love for each other is important to them and who they are, but isn’t the most defining factor or shouldn’t be the most focused.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago nya#ninjago jay#nya ninjago#jay ninjago#sorry this is actually so baf#like damm#i under stand that their relationship is very important to the both#but it shouldn’t be used so often as the realsn their characters develop#jay walker#nya smith#nya jiang#jaya#dragons rising
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travelling home after christmas today
checking my tickets this morning to make sure everything is in order. realise i somehow booked a 2-stage journey with a change at Doncaster rather than a direct ticket.
aw fuck. :(
report this to my sister who suggests trains might not be running as usual. assure her that it's definitely my fault
arrive at station. my train is at 13:03. there is also a direct Edinburgh train at 13:00. longingly watch the direct train depart. :(
my train is somehow running 5 minutes late in spite of starting at King's Cross?? wym you're running late. you haven't been anywhere.
anyway this is a problem bcos i only have 11 minutes to change at Doncaster.
train also doesn't start boarding until maybe 2 minutes before scheduled departure. there are around 200 people trying to board. we are not leaving at 13:08.
finally leave at around quarter past. yeah i am not making this connection. i didn't have a seat reserved so no great loss.
notice that the app now says my connecting train is delayed due to 'overcrowding'. ehh i don't think i want to get that train anyway.
the connecting train isn't delayed enough for my to catch it. phew, i think, bullet dodged!!
the next train to Edinburgh arrives. it was also delayed leaving Kings Cross for the same unclear reasons as my original train. it's booked solid but the screen says there are seats available in coach C so off i go.
attempt to board the train. the vestibule is so full of people that im honestly not sure i can fit.
manage to fit. oh fuck. oh this is not a good train to be on.
various people are scouting out coach C in seach of seats and come back without. decide to make a trip myself as they were a couple and i'm a lone traveller so might have more success.
i have my big rucksack on + an extra bag so im just barging my way through there. there's people standing in the aisle. way unpassable.
return to the vestibule.
someone has left a very large buggy in the vestibule, unfolded, seemingly abandoned, unbelievably in the way.
someone suggests that we could fold the buggy. everyone agrees this is a good idea but no-one is the buggy's owner.
i ask if anyone knows who the buggy belongs to and someone points to a woman halfway down the carriage, beyond a bunch more standing people.
people are needing to get through to the bathroom. attempt to put myself on the other side of the buggy to clear a path. almost get stuck bcos w all my bags i am just so so large.
manage to get to the other side of the buggy and take off my backpack so i'm not taking up so much space. add my backpack to the luggage piled in front of the luggage rack.
someone returns from the adjoining vestibule with news of more space for luggage, suggests we move the buggy
collectively manage to get the buggy's owner over. she tells us she is travelling alone with 5 children. now feel kind of bad about being annoyed by the buggy.
buggy is too wide to go to the next vestibule without being folded. she say she can't fold it because it's got bags in it and there's nowhere to put the bags.
it's pointed out that she can put the bags in the other luggage rack where there is (apparently) more space. the buggy is removed and we all have space to actually move around.
my rucksack is at constant risk of fallling off the luggage pile and it's on the other side of the carriage door so not much i can do. another passenger is kindly keeping it in place for me.
also a problem w standing on long haul trains is that they are just not designed for it so there's nowhere to hold on and i almost fall into people several times.
okay we are coming up on York. maybe, i think optimistically, a bunch of people will get off at York (it's a big station) and things will improve
ohh god things do not improve
more people pile into the vestibule including a couple with a very large suitcase and a baby
suitcase has nowhere to go except the middle of the corridor. couple debate whether they should just get off the train and find alternative transport. woman says (reasonably) that she doesn't want to stand holding the baby for 3 hours to Edinburgh.
before they can come to a conclusion the train leaves
predictably the vestibule is now home to a crying baby
a man comes out of the coach w a bag from the buffet service. asks politely if he can get through so he can go back to his seat.
oh we are SO sorry but you are going to be here a while :(
manage to get my rucksack properly onto the luggage rack :)
after a while the man w the buffet car bag says that at the next station he's going to get off the train and back on at the next entrance in hope of getting back to his seat
we wish him godspeed. he gets off the train. never see him again. i hope he made it.
we are now not far from Durham. very large man w a very large bag comes through, smacks everyone with his bag, and then almost dislodges my backpack taking his suitcase out from underneath it
announces confidently which side the train doors will open on.
ok we have a shot here. on my previous recce i noticed a whole group of seats marked reserved to Durham. tell myself that i must act swiftly and decisively when we get to Durham.
by this point im having significant foot pains from too much train standing.
we arrive at Durham. the big group mentioned leaves and then a reshuffle commences
family of 5 kids mentioned previously (remember them??) are moving to take over the vacated table. observing events it looks like there's going to be 1 free seat left.
there's 2 people closer to the seat and i can't just barge past them BUT they are together. ask if one of them wants the seat.
they do not want the seat!!
move swiftly & decisively to take the seat.
it is covered and i mean covered in popcorn but i will take what i can get at this stage.
from beneath the seats me and some other helpul passengers retrieve a dropped pair of gloves, a hat and a toy Sonic the Hedgehog which we return to their owners.
finally sit.
take off coat put in eye drops begin drinking delicious 7up i've been carrying since kings cross etc.
at the next stop the person in the other seat leaves and am joined by another of the group from the vestibule. we sit and quietly read our books :3
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elle’s archive
-ˏˋ. stiles stilinski ˊˎ-
we always find a way (to make it out alive) ➵ beacon hills holds a lot of bad memories for you. you’re still not sure how you let yourself be persuaded to go back.
-ˏˋ. derek hale ˊˎ-
but I need your lips on mine ➵ derek hale is a mystery you have yet to solve
How You Get The Girl ➵ it’s been six months since Derek stopped replying to your texts, so why was he suddenly standing in front of your door?
-ˏˋ. jake "hangman" seresin ˊˎ-
જ⁀➴ drabbles
how you first met (and how you became more)
you’re dating (but no one knows)
you’re married (but in secret)
you pick him up from the airport
જ⁀➴fics
songs about girls (like you) ➵ Jake has finally returned from his mission.
how do you love somebody else? ➵ the one where you and Jake are exes.
get like me ➵ the one where you defend Jake’s honor.
five kisses ➵ five kisses with Jake
never knew (that I could fall so hard) ➵ You and Jake are friends. Just friends
── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── wingman's best friend universe ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──
all the fics below are part of the same universe, but can be read as stand-alone fics!
hooked from hour one ➵ the one where you share a mutual friend, but are unaware of it
baby, you down? ➵ your best friend is a naval aviator, but apparently so is the guy you’ve been dating? Yeah, funny how life works.
cruel existence ➵ you get hurt at work and Jake spirals
-ˏˋ. bradley "rooster" bradshaw ˊˎ-
જ⁀➴ drabbles
you're married (but in secret)
જ⁀➴fics
summer days (drifting away) ➵ Bradley bumped into you at the beach and then just keeps doing it
speak now (or forever hold your peace) ➵ it’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life.
cross my heart (hope to die) ➵ it’s easy to fall in love with Rooster. It’s a bit harder to be in love with him.
-ˏˋ. natasha "phoenix" trace ˊˎ-
you're married but in secret
-ˏˋ. pete "maverick" mitchell ˊˎ-
he likes you (but in an annoying way)
do you believe in love at first sight (or should I walk by again) ➵ the one where you keep running into Maverick.
-ˏˋ. tom holland ˊˎ-
you mocha me crazy ➵ an encounter at a coffee shop leaves you with more than a cup full of coffee
summer days ➵ it’s just one of those rare summer mornings. They were Tom’s favorite
five signs you’re too close to your boss ➵ you liked being the personal assistant of the CEO of Holland Enterprises. But sometimes you wondered if you were too close to your boss.
dance your worries away ➵ when you signed up for a beginners ballroom dancing class with your boyfriend, you hadn’t expected to be standing without a dancing partner. But then again, life has a funny way of working out
things you left unsaid ➵ having casual sex with Tom despite having feelings for him? What could go wrong?
put in love and don’t give up ➵ honestly, you never pegged Tom for the kind of guy that ghosts people, but here you are. Ghosted.
will you find me (afterlife) ➵ the five stages of grief start with denial and it didn’t seem like Tom was going leave that stage anytime soon.
honest feelings and bad timing | Teaser | One | Two ➵ It’s always been you, Tom and Harrison. A package deal. But sometimes things change.
swanky fortune ➵ when you clicked the ‘donate’ button on the GoFundMe page, you never would have expected to actually win. But are you going to take advantage of the opportunity or will you embarrass yourself in front of your celebrity crush?
of broken promises and heartbreak ➵ It’s been six years since you and Tom broke up, six years since you’ve last seen each other. A lot has happened, Tom got insanely famous, making countless billion dollar movies, attending one red-carpet event after the other. But now he was attending one event, he wasn’t sure he was ready for. Your wedding. And he wasn’t attending as your groom.
-ˏˋ. peter parker ˊˎ-
need a ride? ➵ just because you were at a country club, doesn’t mean you had to behave well
Talk To A Stranger! ➵ you liked talking to strangers. Well, when it’s not in real life, that is.
no air ➵ Short breath, panic flooding through the veins, sweat trickling down the sides. Peter knew the symptoms of a panic attack just all too well after a fight with a certain villain from space. Didn’t mean he knew how to prevent them, though. Luckily, you were by his side to help.
heavy burden ➵ you liked to live your life like you want it, but there was always someone who stood in the way of that. Always.
#stiles stilinski#derek hale#jake seresin#bradley bradshaw#tom holland#peter parker#hangman x reader#jake seresin x reader#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster x reader#stiles x reader#derek hale x reader#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x reader
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(Can be read as a stand-alone, but also as my attempt to give this slightly Angsty fic a happy ending!)
1845 words
Remus and Fabian are together, so Remus doesn't understand why Fabian would be so upset his best friend Benjy is dating someone. Until he learns who Benjy is dating.
Your Person
Remus feels a hint of annoyance as he sees Benjy’s cloak on the hanger. He came over to visit Fabian again. Yet, Remus knows he isn't one to question Fabian’s relationship with his best friend, as that makes him feel somewhat like a hypocrite, and that's a can of worms Remus prefers not to open.
At first, Remus is surprised when he hears raised voices, until he realizes Fabian and Benjy are having an argument about the same thing that has been bothering Fabian all week.
“…just doesn't sit right with me! Oh, hi darling,” Fabian says mid-argument as he sees Remus.
“Hello love,” Remus says, as he walks up to Fabian and gives him a quick kiss. “And hi again, Benjy.”
“Hi Remus,” Benjy says absentmindedly, before continuing the argument. “Fabian, I can't adapt my dating life to you having a ‘gut feeling’.”
“It's more than that! It's just a wrong match, Benj.”
“Then I'll find out in due time,” Benjy shrugs.
“But if I can save you the trouble…”
“Fabian, why do you care so much about who I date?”
Remus, who has just walked into the kitchen to pour himself a beer, thinks that is an excellent question, and he lets Fabian know by leaning against the kitchen counter slowly sipping his beer, while staring pointedly at Fabian.
“I just… That is… Only because… Because he's Remus’ ex!” Fabian exclaims. “You can't date Remus’ ex! That's just bad form.”
Remus isn't entirely surprised about the news that Benjy is dating a guy he has apparently dated before. There are only so many gay guys in their social circle, after all. But he isn't going to let Fabian make this about him. Fabian is the one who has a problem with Benjy dating, so Fabian is going to take responsibility for it. “I don't mind Benjy dating an ex of mine,” Remus says casually. “We all hang out with the same people, we all date guys, it's bound to happen.” He turns to open one of the kitchen cabinets to see if Fabian has any snacks left. “Who are you dating anyway, Benjy?”
“Sirius.”
Remus freezes with his hand halfway to a bag of crisps. “No.”
“Excuse me?” Benjy asks.
Remus turns around. “No. Just… no.”
Benjy frowns. “I thought you didn't mind me dating one of your exes?”
“Not Sirius,” Remus says instantly before he can think about it. “Sirius is… He's different.”
“What’s different about him?” Benjy asks.
“Yes, Remus,” Fabian echoes, looking more smug than upset though. “What's different about him?”
“Sirius and I are still…”
“Still what?”
Well, that is another excellent question. How to describe all the things Sirius still is to him? “We're still close friends,” Remus ends up on, running a hand through his hair. “That makes it different.”
“Of course it does,” Fabian says. “Now that it's about handsome, charming Sirius Black whom you're still oh-so-close with it's suddenly a whole other matter.”
Benjy looks from Fabian to Remus and back. “Something tells me this is more between you two than it has to do with me, so I'm going to let you sort it out.” He gets up from the couch and walks to the front door. “Bye Fabi, bye Remus. See you later.”
As Benjy leaves, Remus glares at Fabian. “Weren't you just saying yourself that you have a problem with Benjy dating my ex? I'm only agreeing with you.”
“I have a problem with the whole principle of it, not with it being Sirius Black!”
“No, but I bet it has to do with it being Benjy!”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Please, Fabian,” Remus says. “You've been acting annoyed and upset ever since you found out Benjy is dating someone. That, with all the time you spend with him, how am I supposed to feel?”
“Well, let me think,” Fabian replies sarcastically. “Probably about the same as it makes me feel when you talk about your ‘special relationship’ with Sirius Black.”
“I haven't been doing that though! I didn't even know it was him whom Benjy is dating until just now!”
“And only then you suddenly had an issue with it.”
“That's different!”
“Different indeed,” Fabian agrees. “I never dated Benjy, you did date Sirius.”
“Hardly,” Remus replies. “We dated for a short period when we were only fifteen years old, that's it.”
“And yet,” Fabian says. “He's not just an ex, he's somehow the ex.”
“At least I already had that experience with Sirius and decided we're better off as friends. With you and Benjy there might still be the question of ‘what if?’”
“I don't…” Fabian sputters.
Sensing an opportunity, Remus presses on. “You never wonder ‘what if?’ when it comes to you and Benjy?”
Fabian recovers himself, though. “You really consider you and Sirius a closed chapter?”
“You're not answering the question!”
“Neither are you!”
They angrily stare at each other in silence for a moment. Remus feels justified in his anger about Fabian having been so put out over the last week by the idea that Benjy is dating someone, but deep down he knows that lashing out at Fabian might also be a defense mechanism, as he doesn't want to deal with his own feelings about Sirius moving on. Their conversation at Lily and James’ wedding, where Sirius told him he still felt so much when it came to Remus, has been playing in Remus’ mind more often than he would like to admit.
As if sensing what Remus is feeling, Fabian tilts his head. “Why did you and Sirius never date again? I mean, I know you had this big fight back in fifth year, but you sorted yourselves out, so why did you never date him again?”
Now it's Remus’ turn to be taken off guard. “I… He… We… We barely managed to salvage our friendship. I almost lost him as a part of my life, I didn't want to take that risk again and potentially lose our friendship forever by turning it into something more. There was just too much to lose, he meant too much to me…”
“He what now?” Fabian asks.
“I meant…”
“I know what you meant! You're too scared to risk your ‘special relationship’, while apparently, I'm a whole lot less special than our perfect Sirius Black.”
“That's not what I said! Don't put words into my mouth!”
“I was right to warn Benjy. He should think twice before getting dragged into whatever is going on between you and Sirius.”
“Oh, like you even care who Benjy is dating,” Remus scoffs. “You don't want him dating anyone! Don't you think it's weird how no one is ever good enough for Benjy according to you?”
“He's my best friend! Of course I want what's best for him.”
“Is him being single not more what's best for you?”
“Maybe not,” Fabian snaps. “Maybe I should be with Benjy instead, rather than with someone who doesn't think I'm all that special anyway!”
“And maybe I should be with Sirius then,” Remus snaps right back. “As you're so obsessed anyway with how special our relationship apparently is!”
They are both standing across from each other, their hands clenched in fists, breathing heavily, as each other's words, but also their own words, sink in.
After a moment of silence, Fabian blinks. “I think I might have feelings for Benjy.”
“I think I might have feelings for Sirius,” Remus replies.
They stare at each other, before Fabian groans and lets himself fall on the couch, Remus dropping down next to him.
“Rem, what are we doing?” Fabian asks, hiding his face in his hands.
“Potentially dating the wrong people,” Remus offers.
Fabian lets his head fall on Remus’ shoulder. “We're a mess, aren't we?”
“Fabi,” Remus sighs. “What do we do now? They're dating each other, for Godric’s sake!”
Well, there are a lot of things Remus would rather be doing than going on a double date with his ex, the person he's in love with, and the guy his love interest is currently dating. Like going to the dentist for instance, or swimming with sharks, or jumping out of an airplane perhaps.
“Oh my, you're so funny, Siri,” Benjy giggles, squeezing Sirius’ arm.
Remus gives Fabian, who's knuckles are turning white around his fork, a pointed look. He was the one to agree to this double date after all. Something about observing how Benjy and Sirius are as a couple before potentially intervening.
“Excuse me for a moment,” Remus says, as Benjy makes a show of tickling Sirius’ side, before he heads off to the toilet, desperate to get out of there.
“Remus, I'm so sorry!”
Remus turns away from the sink towards Sirius, who's rushing up to him.
“Did you really think this was a good idea?” Remus hisses, his frustration with the whole evening getting the better of him. “After you basically told me you still have feelings for me at Lily and James’ wedding, for us to go on a double date?”
“I know, I know,” Sirius says, running a hand through his hair and looking unfairly handsome. “But on the bright side, at least I'm finally trying to move on?” He tries.
Remus just stares at him, as Sirius has no idea how little of a bright side that is.
“But for real,” Sirius continues. “Benjy just said a double date with friends, I didn't know it would be you and your boyfriend!”
“Me and my ex,” Remus corrects.
Sirius blinks, then shakes his head. “Merlin, this really is the most awkward double date ever!” Then he gives Remus a sympathetic look. “I'm sorry, Moony. I didn't know. What happened?”
Remus bites his lip, not sure whether saying ‘I realized I'm in love with you’ while Sirius’ date is right in the other room can be considered bad form. “We just realized we weren't each other's person.”
“How?”
“I…” With Sirius’ bright grey eyes looking at him like that, Remus can't keep it in. “I think I realized that you're my person, Sirius. I tried so hard to suppress it out of fear of mucking it up and losing you for good, but it's the truth and it has always been the truth.”
Sirius stares at him for a moment, before the most beautiful smile lights up his face. He takes a step forward and takes Remus’ hand. “Really? You mean it? You would like to finally try again? With me?”
“Pads…” Remus says, staring at their joined hands. “Benjy is…”
“Just trying to make Fabian jealous,” Sirius replies. “I mean, it's been fun with him, but nothing more than just fun, when we both needed a distraction as we were desperately pining after the one we really wanted to be with. As I was desperately pining after my person.”
“Your person,” Remus repeats softly, before returning Sirius’ smile.
As they walk back to their table, hand in hand, neither of them can help the smiles still on their faces.
“Benjy, Fabian, I think we need to switch places.”
#wolfstar fix-it#wolfstar getting back together#wolfstar fluff#pining remus lupin#pining sirius black#wolfstar#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar fic#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#sirius black#remus lupin#remus x sirius#fabian prewett
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pls do chan tea session how he views his teammates? thanks very much!
Omg y'all THIS has been the reading we've all been waiting for😭🙌🏻🙌🏻😂 i swear i couldn't stop gasping and tacking a moment after each card to gather myself cuz WTF IS ALL THIS😂😳🫣 yk i did a tea/vent reading with changbin a few weeks ago and i thought its gonna be a banger but we couldn't get one "bad word" out of his mouth - he wasn't serving AT ALL😤 and i got a bit discouraged to continue the series but im so happy i did and did it with CHAN cuz my guys's spilling so much😂 tbh idk what i think of it all and if i agree, in fact i was quite shocked at a few cuz i really did bot expect such answers and i pulled several cards as confirmation and it all pointed painfully obvious to what the first card was already showing. So im just gonna start and ya'll are gonna see foe yourselfs😂
Oh also my tea series was initially not really meant to be focused on the group but more in general but at least with the last reading with changbin i found it difficult to take such a vast field of topics and distill it so if you have suggestions on what else they could have things to vent about or tea to spill send ask. Please be specific tho about something specific that interests you / preferably with a specific member:) ok moving on
Ok not really i forgot to mention that i asked about his opinion on the members WITHOUT FILTER and leaning more on the tea side. So, very important - this is not Chan's absolute opinion on the members, but a small, "scandalous" fraction if the opinion he has build on them over the years. It doesn't mean that this is all he thinks of them - remember humans are complex beings and can have conflicting thoughts and feelings:)
Tea Series: Chan's opinion on the members
Lee Know
I was SHOCKED but he kinda thinks of him as a bit of a dumbo. Not in the sense that he really is stupid but to Chan it looks like he's just a bit out of it and there's a vibe of a whole geoup laughing about a joke that lee know doesn't get, and not necessarily cuz he's stupid, its just he doesn't care to get it😂😭 this baffles him and im actually seeing a similar energy with him regarding lee know as i did with changbin in the previous reading where Chan just feels a bit weirded out by lee know at times and just sometimes gets annoyed cuz he just doesn't understand him. Yk how people are disgusted/scared by spider no reason? This is something similar, it just icks him how he cant understand lee know. He accepts it tho, more than changbin for sure. And im feeling that its actually even charming to him sometimes. Im hearing "a genius dumbo". So yeah, they're very different apparently, and to chan lee know just seems way waaayyy out of the circle, way above it all, way to out of it and he doesn't even want to get in and that BAFFLES him so much!
Changbin
This one's not hot at all, im seeing this pile along with felix's being the most melow ones. So I see that chan really sees changbin as his equal, possibly the only guy in the group he sees as one. Not in the way that others are below him but rather he's to the same level of matureness, toughness, headspace etc according to him (not that i agree😂). He views him as a bro and really enjoys spending time with him and "talking like men" or whatever its called😂 im actually seeing them going out for drinks or having late night talks with some strong alcohol (although im not really seeing chan drinking very hard i think the alcohol's more for changbin to loosen his tongue and for both of them to feel like adult men😂🙌🏻) Also another thing thats coming up which made me laugh is that chan thinks changbins bad at love and always has bad luck in it (and is kinda a simp) and he(cb) should learn a thing or two from him(chan). This gives me such huge sleepover vibes i live it so much - all of chans readings have that feeling to it and im always giggling when reading his energy😂💗 So yeah im also seeing them having lots of chats about women too🌝 and...sex👀👀👀 but for that i think it needs to be a bit deeper in the night and the bottle should be close to empty for that conversation to open. But it does, pretty often (not often like every other day but often only within their "meetings" so if they have a hangout every other months, and have had 6 this year, in 4 out of 6 this conversation happens - thats what i mean by often).
Hyunjin
Fo hyunjin he thinks he's very impulsive and very pushy but on the inside(?). He also thinks he's very appreciation hungry and attention greedy. Not attention whore-y tho (contrary to han), but rather ifjgkkf like someone who lives for the applause. Someone who's a performer. Not only on stage but also in private. I think he thinks that hyunjin's actually a bit insecure (not the kind of looks-insecurity, but the primal one like having security in your own being and the person who you are, having trust that you got ur own back) and that he's compensating that insecurity with others validation and admiration. And if he doesn't get that or feels like he doesn't he gets spiky/prickly. And thats where his impulsivity comes up and where this pushy energy happens. He may behave normal on the outside but on the inside he's going crazy and thinking of all the ways he can fix that and if you spend time with him long enough you begin to see that eagerness and spikiness - according to chan.
Han
According to chan he's pretty isolated and a tad bit odd. Probably thats why he gets along with lee know the best. He's also a bit infantile in chans eyes, like an annoying 12 year old fortnite little cousing that spits when he speaks and knows now personal space. Not saying hans like that - just creating a vibe to describe how he feels to chan sometimes😂 idk if nuisance is the right word but im getting the feeling that when 3racha's doing their thing, hans kind of the odd one out and he can see that han wants to belong and tries to but chan feels like he's that little cousin that wants to hang out with the cool old bros and, yeah sometimes feels liek a bit of a nuisance i would say. Cuz chan does include him, when he maybe would not. I could see that being a theme during their time in the 4/4 dorms. And here's the part i mentioned above - i think chan might view han sometimes like an attention-wh*re, making a clown of himself, and embarrassing himself quite offten to appeal to them or maybe others he fancies and wants to impress. Another thing is, that as i said he might be a bit odd and at times overexcert his boundaries? Or have weird boundaries? Like he hates when people touch his blanket or he only has to wear orange socks and if someone put the laundry and forgot one of his sock and now only one's clean he gets really pissed over nothing - stuff of that sort.
Felix
I would say thats the only pile where he had nothing "bad" to say about him and i pulled 4 cards for him cuz there had to be something - but there wasn't so i guess chan really really likes Felix and holds him in very high regards☺️ he thinks that he is muchs tronger than he looks and can defend himself and his loved ones very well. In fact i believe when chan saw this side of him he was really shocked because felix seems really sweet but when it comes to protecting what he loves he gets very fierce and that was very shocking to witness. Theres just admiration, admiration and more admiration in this reading he thinks felix has that royalty vibe to himself and really just has it all. Im getting a slight whiff of jealousy, but a friendly type of jealousy. Like he just thinks he's so amazing and sometime she wishes he were like that. He wishes he were as cool as him, as lighthearted as him, as bright and positive as him, he were as liked by him and i also feel like chan feels that stuff may often be just very effortless for felix and even if he's bad at something its still with grace. Theres this aura to felix that he can never do anything wrong and he just sometimes feels that felix has it too easy and must be really lucky or like gods favourite and thinks he must have really good karma for that.
Seungmin
He thinks seungmins too sharp and that his words hurt. Im also seeing lots of bickering...no actually fights. So either chan often gets the urge to just throw it all and start a fight with him or drop the manners and just tell him off - or they actually do that often. I do get the feeling that this is exaggerated in his head and that maybe to seungmin their fights aren't nearly as bad but once again i feel like chan might be holding back a lot and seungmin might'be much sharper and meaner for others than he thinks he is.
I.N
Finally the last one😮💨 he thinks he's a mamas boy and sees him still as a kid. That one's pretty obvious but to be honest i expected something else cuz im getting a much maturer energy from him, the other guys have said that too but still, here im getting that he's just a kid and doesnt know "of the real world", relies too much on mom and dad etc. Tbh i don't think thats the case😂 but rather that chans having a bit of a parent syndrom where he actaully feels like i.ns big bro or some sort of a parent figure or whatever and he literary watched him grow from a child to a man so i think that image of him from a few years back has stayed with chan and maybe its difficult for him to let go of that impression if i.n being still just a little kid being full of wonder, innocent and still dependant.
#skz#stray kids#tarot reading#kpop#bang chan#lee know#seo changbin#hyunjin#lee felix#han jisung#seungmin#i.n#kpop tarot#skz tarot
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🚐🚐🚐🚐🚐🚐
24/10
I worked a seasonal position as a receptionist, and my boss offered me a temporary position helping out in another department for a month once my contract was up. I accepted on the basis that it was 30 hours a week max and all I'd be doing was admin tasks, no speaking with clients. Which after a season full of holidaymakers I was desperate for.
The week I'm supposed to start I receive no communication from who I was told was my new boss until the day before I'm supposed to go in for a little bit of training, and she's put out when I reiterate that that week there's two days I can't do due to previous commitments I made while I thought I'd be unemployed. And when I get to work on the training day, the person who actually will be my boss doesn't ever work that day, so my poor previous boss had to scramble to find something for me to do, since no one could train me nor could I get on the company system properly as my new boss hadn't sorted my contract.
I'm annoyed but hey, things happen. It's the first week, so there's bound to be hiccups, right?
I get to work the next week and my new boss starts to train me with the system I'll be using, only to be pulled away because we have an auditor in and of course that's more important. I don't mind that at all, but don't have me come in to work if you know you don't have time to train me. The same thing happens the following day and there's another new hire from a different department in the same position as me, so we end up doing hardly anything all day and feeling like spare parts. By this point I'm fairly pissed off that the three shifts I've done have been pointless, but I'll persist.
I do two more shifts this week, both of which are actually me being trained and working, and it's becoming very apparent that I will actually have to speak with clients for this role; it's not just helping the department catch up with paperwork. I'm very much feeling lied to, messed about, and like I'm not the right fit for the job, so I take the weekend to think about it, and message my new boss on Sunday morning to tell her that I'm grateful for the chance but I won't be coming back in. I was very polite in my message, I didn't mention my frustration with the disorganisation in the department, the fact that everyone looks down on you for actually taking your lunch break rather than just working at your desk while you eat, or that, morally, I cannot be involved in helping sell holiday homes to people on a site that's severely rat infested and crumbling, but the general manager refuses to spend any money to revamp the place.
I was very final with my message, which I think was obvious by the fact that I wished my new boss the best of luck and a good holiday season, so I figured that would be that. I'll admit my anxiety has me refusing to check whatsapp so I can't see what she's said, because a) I'm not ready for that and b) to me, it's done and dusted.
She's tried to call me five times in the last 20 minutes. I don't know what the hell she wants, but I'm not answering. My best guess would be she wants me to work my notice, but there's absolutely no point. I'm still not trained properly to do this new job, so at least some of my one weeks notice would be me being trained for a job I'm leaving. Normally I'd never quit without giving and working my notice, but in this instance it's pointless.
I'm not going to answer her calls or call her back. I don't care. Honestly, working on reception was bad enough; it's very clear that the company as a whole values profit over guests' happiness and safety. It's one thing to sell someone a holiday on our shit hole of a site, but it's another thing entirely to be a part of them becoming an owner of a run-down holiday home. At least with guests, I can give them vouchers or money off a future holiday or at a push a refund. With this new job, I can't do anything but apologise for the shitty situation I've helped put the new owners in. I wish I was brave enough to say that to my now ex-boss.
Posted by admin Rodney
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i guess i’m human no more
4732 words
joel is extremely used to the vast amount of feathers he finds in their bed (and his mouth) every morning—going so far as to know which yellow feather is from jimmy's wings or grian's (jimmy's have more brown hues in). joel essentially knows their wings off by heart, and has been teased endlessly after that one time he accidentally revealed this fact to grian. despite all this, there's- there is a bit of a situation. it's- there's a new colour feather.
good LORD this has taken me a while to finish. judas had the incredible idea of watchers/listeners being contagious to people they're emotionally close to in MAY and here I am in december only just finishing the oneshot for it
I did in fact go wild with this one. there are many headcanons and so much bad boys because I love them
CW: body horror, gore
there are too many feathers in their bed.
this is extremely ordinary—in fact, joel would be concerned if there were a normal amount of feathers in their bed, because it would mean that jimmy and grian had just been laying completely still. after sleeping in the same bed as them for a week or so, joel has learnt that this seems to be physically impossible for either of them to do. every single morning, joel has woken up with jimmy and grian sprawled in increasingly unlikely positions on top of him and each other (which is kind of sweet), and at least three feathers in his mouth (which is kind of gross).
that's not even to mention how many feathers they shed when they stretch their wings out. honestly, joel wonders if he should just attach a bin bag to their wings and see just how many feathers they can amass in a single day; it'd be an interesting experiment. although, the most they shed is when they're preening, which- okay, he can no longer get annoyed with them when they leave the piles of fluff on the floor—not since they let him help. now he knows how loopy they get, joel understands why they'd forget to tidy up.
(joel wouldn’t admit this at gunpoint, but he's never felt so.. okay- it's- it will sound silly, but so trusted, than when jimmy suggested joel help, and grian agreed. there are very few things so intimate than preening, as joel has learnt, and the idea that they would ask him for help with something that personal makes his head spin.)
all of this to say, joel is extremely used to the vast amount of feathers he finds in their bed (and his mouth) every morning—going so far as to know which yellow feather is from jimmy's wings or grian's (jimmy's have more brown hues in). joel essentially knows their wings off by heart, and has been teased endlessly after that one time he accidentally revealed this fact to grian.
despite all this, there's- there is a bit of a situation. it's- there's a new colour feather.
it doesn’t sound that weird, but- no one else on the server has wings with the pattern on the feathers joel has started finding, so there's no way it just rubbed off someone else and fell off here. it's a kind of orangey-beige, with dark brown marking; something joel knows is not a pattern on anyone else's wings on this server. it could be a weird glitch, if grian or jimmy have different markings on another server, and at some point their wings lagged or something. yeah, that makes sense.
so much sense, in fact, that joel didn't bother telling grian or jimmy about it—which apparently was about to bite him in the ass.
-
if joel has to spend one more second trying to be diplomatic with scott, whilst being shot looks that very plainly tell him to chill out, he's going to stab someone. especially as martyn and grian are clearly arguing about something or other in the most roundabout way possible, and jimmy keeps backing grian up. joel has no idea what either of them are actually arguing about, and apparently neither does scott, which is only some consolation. also- not necessarily related to this situation, but joel must have slept funny or something, because his back has been aching all day, which is not adding very much to this experience.
"look- I don’t want you to be my ally any more than you want to be mine," joel says, thoroughly exasperated. "but you and your allies seem to be fundamentally immortal in these games."
scott raises an amused eyebrow, clearly entertained by joel's attempts at formality. dickhead. "so, you’re trying to profit off my skill?"
joel scoffs, stretching his neck in the hopes of lessening some of the pain in his back. "you say that like it's a bad thing. you know, I-"
"no- you’re being ridiculous!" martyn interrupts, half shouting and apparently unaware of the commotion he’s causing. "it's downright irresponsible-"
"and what do you think you’re doing?" grian's wings have puffed up in anger. "you realise that out of everyone you could turn-"
"which is exactly why i’m not going to." martyn insists. joel has no idea what either of them are talking about, but it's better than arguing with scott.
jimmy barks a laugh. "there are more than one reasons you’re wrong there-"
"you can’t talk!" martyn jabs a finger at him. "how would you know-"
"how would I know?" jimmy says, voice slipping from indignation to anger. "how would- do you remember, martyn, who turned me?"
joel's back gives a sharp stab of pain, and he winces at it. maybe he pulled a muscle or something when he was swimming up the side of the mansion with building materials.
scott looks at him. "what are you doing?"
"you- what?" joel glares back instinctively, which scott apparently finds funny. "i’m not doing anything?"
"if you say so." scott turns back to the argument.
joel scoffs, folding his arms- and instantly regrets it as a spasm shoots up his back. void- what did he do to himself? it seems like it's getting worse as the day goes on, which does not happen with muscle strains- as far as he remembers, anyway. scott glances at him again, and joel pretends he hasn't noticed.
" -hen you should know better." martyn's voice is cold, but there's something like regret lacing his tone. joel feels like he’s missed at least five chapters- what are they on about? "you know the risks-"
"you know the risks firsthand, martyn." grian steps forward. "and do you truly think They will take kindly-"
"of course They won't, but it's not going to happen." martyn hisses.
whatever joel has managed to do to himself seems to be worsening by the second- demonstrated by the pounding behind his eyes that seems to have materialised out of nowhere. cool- great, this is exactly what he needs right now: more pain. he closes his eyes for a moment, in the hope that the lack of light might alleviate the throbbing pain. it does not help at all—in fact, it just makes him feel a little unstable, since he can no longer see where he’s stood.
he's- wait, what- did joel open his eyes and not notice? that- no, that's definitely- what the fuck? is the game glitching, or is-
"joel?" scott's voice is uncomfortably close to his ear, and joel's eyes snap open (how the fuck could he still see). "are- what-" (why does scott look scared.)
"you- that's not normal." joel's voice sounds so far away from his body. does he have double vision?
pearl looks over at bigb from where she's been laying upside-down against the wall. she says something that looks like, "I have an idea." but no sound comes out.
maybe he just needs to lie down- it's probably fine. it's just- he has some kind of fever- he just needs to have a nap.
grian is too busy trying to stop both himself and jimmy from attacking martyn to notice that anything is wrong.
someone grabs his arm-
joel lists sideways, and scott manages to catch him on instinct before he completely topples over. his eyes- they've definitely not always been purple.
grian looks over, panic rising in his chest like bile as he realises the worst has happened-
"can- is there-" joel's breath is coming far too quickly- is he even breathing anymore? "I don't-"
someone is grabbing his shoulders, and there are too many faces to even- decipher who it is. he might be on the floor- there's something that could be grass under his hands, and someone is talking- who is talking? joel doesn’t want- he doesn’t like any of this. can he go home?
his mind swims, bursts of colour and movement flashing before him, gone before he even has time to understand what they are. head pounding, faces blur his vision- some he recognises, some he can't even begin to process if they are actually faces by the time they've vanished. people are shouting what might be his name and everything is- there's too much- there's way too much-
amidst the chaos, there's a gentle pressure against his forehead, and all of a sudden-
"I- grian?" joel is- he’s looking at grian. he’s only looking at grian.
grian's eyes are fading from purple back to black, and he looks so worried, joel is almost embarrassed. "i’m- void, i’m so sorry."
joel's chest is tight with fear, and now he isn't dealing with- whatever just happened, he realises that his back has begun to hurt a lot more than it already was. "what- what the fuck was that."
"it- that was my fault." grian drops his hands from joel's shoulders, and joel immediately misses the warmth, but he’s too focused on how guilty grian looks right now. "i’m- I was reckless- I knew what might happen, but I-"
"what happened?" joel says, almost exasperated. his back is killing him, and he doesn't know what's going on, and he just wants to go back to the mansion and curl up in their bed. "I don't- I don't care whose fault it is, I just- what was that?"
grian looks like he might cry, and that might just be the worst part of all of this. "you- so. you know what I am, right?"
"I- yeah?" joel remembers suddenly that scott and martyn are still here. "I- I know."
"well, that- if I get.. too close to someone, they-" grian's breath catches in his throat, and he coughs. joel wants to hug him, but- even the thought of lifting his arms that high makes his stomach turn. why does everything hurt so much? "it. it happens to them, too."
joel stares for a second, brain sluggish against the pain and overwhelm as he tries to understand what grian actually means. it takes a moment, but it begins to dawn on him. "you're saying- no, that wasn't-" he looks over at jimmy, half expecting to find him grinning. he is more solemn than joel has ever seen him. "that can't be- possible, I don't-"
"what did you see?" jimmy asks, and this is ludicrous, but-
"pearl and bigb." joel's head feels foggy, his spine burning at his flesh. "I- me, but, from scott's point of view. and my eyes were- wrong, I don't-" he takes a breath. "why did you not tell me?"
"selfishness, mostly." grian says softly. "there's no excuse."
"what- I just don't-" joel's breath is starting to feel laboured again as he tries to concentrate on his words and not how it feels as if his back is being sliced open. "why does it hurt?" his voice slips into something so vulnerable, joel is almost thankful that he’s too distracted to care that scott is right behind him.
for the first time, confusion flits across grian's expression, coupled with a concerning amount of panic. "I- hurt? what hurts?"
before joel can remember how to string the words together, scott is saying, "I- joel, take your jacket off."
grian looks as confused as joel feels, but scott sounds weirdly serious and joel is in too much pain to argue. "it- I can’t. it hurts to move."
"what's going on?" jimmy says, closer than he was a second ago.
"I would have thought you'd know." scott is saying, and joel is about to accept his fate and hit him when he finishes- "he’s growing wings."
there's a moment in which all joel can think is that he probably should have mentioned those feathers he kept finding in their bed, until there's a resounding squawk of- "what?"
"makes sense." joel grits out, if only because the juxtaposition is funny. if joel can’t commit to the bit in any situation, who even is he? "don't- don't suppose you have potions?"
"martyn, can you grab a golden apple?" scott says, stepping in front of joel—who is not happy that his best bet right now is scott smajor. he’s not so stubborn as to not accept his help though. "grian, help him take the jacket off. cut it off if needs-"
"you are- you are not ruining my jacket." joel manages to look up in order to glare at scott, but he falters as he takes in how concerned scott's expression is. scott notices him looking, and his face turns blank.
"fine- take the jacket off then, or it will get ruined." scott scoffs, turning away to watch martyn grab the apple.
"can you- are you gonna explain what is going on?" grian says, somewhat more desperate than joel thinks he meant to sound. "how is- why is this-"
a spasm of pain wracks joel's body, and he suppresses a scream as he falls forward on his arms, shaking a little. his breathing is heavy again- he just wants it to be over.
"if I die," joel manages, head swimming. "will- can I just-" he can’t muster up the energy to finish the sentence, but the desperation in it seems to be conveyed. can it just be over?
"I don’t know." scott says, and despite it all, the helplessness in his voice brings joel some sense of vindication. so he doesn’t know everything.
"okay, i’m- i’m gonna take your jacket off." grian says, more panicked than joel knows he wants to sound. "can you- is that possible?"
joel lets grian move around him, barely lifting each arm as grian guides the sleeve of the jacket off his shoulders. as soon as the first sleeve comes off, joel finds himself relaxing ever so slightly at the lack of pressure against his spine. he should probably make that vest bigger.
"why- why is this-" joel can barely manage half of that sentence before the pain becomes too much, but scott seems to understand what he was trying to ask.
"i don't- i’m not sure." scott says, more panicked than joel thinks he’s heard him in a long while. "I just- this kind of thing happened to me in double life, but I still don't understand-"
"oh void." grian says suddenly, and joel has to resist the impulse to turn his head. "I thought i’d- it shouldn't be possible anymore-"
"what shouldn't be possible?" jimmy says, with a sense of urgency joel has never heard from him before.
grian hesitates for a moment, and joel recognises it—grian always does this when he's about to say something either bizarre or embarrassing. or both, more often than not. "the game- it thinks we're soulbound."
there's a pause as everyone seems to process this ridiculous information, before jimmy says, "it- but why does it hurt? tango grew wings in double life, and he didn't even notice until his shirt got torn."
"there's- it's a.. thing." grian audibly winces as he speaks, as if he knows exactly how terrible whatever he’s going to say will sound and is preemptively apologetic. of course. "the closer soulmates are—like, emotionally close, I mean—the less painful it is- and vice versa. but- the game thinks we're soulmates, which. I assume is- is 'cause we're close. so since we're not actually soulbound-"
"it thinks that must be distance." scott realises. joel is gonna murder someone once he regains the use of his body.
joel groans, dropping his head to the ground in exhausted exasperation. "why's everything so.. weirdwith you?" he manages.
"i’m so sorry." grian says, voice quiet enough that joel thinks only he was meant to hear it.
joel is about to tell him not to worry about it when a kind of pain he’s never felt before in his life shoots through his back- and the ripping of flesh is all he can hear, a scream forcing its way from his mouth- primeval and torturous. he’s never felt pain before- he’s never felt death before- there can be nothing worse than this.
it feels like years until joel realises that he is beginning to see shapes again, that there are other noises in the world other than his own whimpers of agony, that the terrible tearing is not all he can feel anymore. there's something that feels like a viscous kind of liquid against his skin, and a sickly sweet smell that he can’t quite name. healing potion, joel recognises as the pain begins to lessen.
after a long moment, joel finds himself able to push himself into a sitting position- and almost falls backwards as newfound weight pulls him down again. jimmy is in front of him all of a sudden, catching his shoulders and wiping something wet off his face. it could be tears, or blood, or potion—joel has no idea.
"you- you with us?" jimmy asks, a scared-looking smile on his face, as if trying to reassure joel of something he can't bring himself to trust. "you’re not- you’re feeling better?"
joel nods, suddenly exhausted and more thankful than he realised for the warmth of jimmy's hands against his arms. "you- you guys are such nerds."
jimmy grins, looking ridiculously relieved at being insulted, and there's a soft laugh from next to him that sounds like grian. "yeah?" jimmy says. "how's that?"
"not- not sure if I misheard, but." joel takes a breath, and jimmy squeezes his arm gently. "'think you care about me so much that the game thinks we're soulmates. and you- you turned me into a watcher, or something." joel manages a grin.
"yeah. you heard right." jimmy says, and there's a rush of affection in joel's chest. "I- do you want to lie down or something, 'cause you look like you’re about to pass out."
joel answers by shuffling slowly forwards and falling onto jimmy—far too tired and in far too much pain to let the embarrassment stop him. jimmy gives a slight gasp of worry, before wrapping his arms around joel's waist, lower than joel expected him to. it takes a second for him to remember that- he has wings now, which are probably in the way of normal hugs. jimmy presses a kiss into joel's hair, and he makes a soft sound of content.
"sorry I took so long." martyn's voice comes from somewhere behind him, more nervous than joel thinks he’s heard him in a while. man, he should grow wings more often if it makes everyone this scared. how's that for a trap? "we didn’t- I wasn't sure you’d be able to eat the apple-"
martyn's explanation is reduced to white noise in joel's ears, and- void, he’s tired. jimmy's heartbeat is audible from where joel is leant against him, and he can almost feel the way his own heart stutters to catch up; he wonders if grian's heart is at the same pace, with whatever this bizarre game has done to deign them unofficial soulmates. he wishes he had enough energy to pull grian into their hug and see for himself if their hearts all beat in unison now.
something occurs to him all of a sudden, and joel closes his eyes. he isn’t sure- and now probably is the worst time to try this kind of thing out, when he has no idea how any of it works, but maybe he can.. do something with this whole watcher thing.
joel feels as if he’s trying to use a muscle that doesn’t exist—like some kind of phantom limb—but after a moment, grian's face comes into view. it's easier than he thought it'd be. almost like controlling a timelapse drone, but with your mind, and also the video is directly transmitted into your brain. it's pretty cool.
there's a stab of regret as joel stops congratulating himself on such a good job, and actually takes in the amount of guilt etched into every line of grian's face. his stomach drops as he turns (kind of? he sorta- uh. hard to explain, actually) and sees that jimmy is wearing a painfully similar expression. almost scared to see, joel looks at martyn and scott, and is at least vaguely reassured to see that they just look worried. frankly, if joel ever saw scott looking guilty because of joel, he'd have to end his own series.
"it- it's not your fault y'know." joel manages—more of a mumble than anything else, but grian and jimmy both seem to know he’s talking to them. "'s kinda cool. I should probably thank you."
grian is looking at him- or, maybe his.. watcher drone? either way, he seems to know he’s being looked at. "I am sorry, either way." he says, but he doesn’t look as devastated as he did a moment ago. "I didn’t- I should have told you what could happen."
joel snorts. "if you thought I was about to turn down cool powers and wings, you don’t know me well enough." he finds that it's getting somehow easier to speak, despite being exhausted, and he remembers the healing potion still travelling through his veins. he never thought he'd be this thankful for martyn- probably ever.
grian smiles, and it feels as if a knot in joel's chest has dissipated. "you’re definitely getting the hang of it."
jimmy hums in agreement. "it's not called a drone though." he says, and it very suddenly occurs to joel what a listener must be able to do. "I- did you not already know?"
"how was I meant to?" joel huffs, watching with slight embarrassment as jimmy smiles at it. "you’re a secretive lot."
"so- and I hate to disrupt this," scott suddenly says, and joel suppresses an instinctive groan. "but do you need any more help?"
there's a mischievous kind of look that flashes across grian's face, if only for a second, and joel can't help but feel reassured by the fact that he's getting back to normal. "well- we could use a couple allies?"
scott sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can’t really turn you down now, can I?" he says, and there's a weird kind of tone that makes joel wonder if he’s actually as annoyed as he’s putting on.
"I just grew wings." joel mumbles, unintentionally quiet but apparently effectively sympathetic, as even martyn seems to be swayed. look at him go. "'can’t just.. throw us to the wolves now."
scott rubs his face with a hand, clearly throughly exasperated at how easily he has been won over. "yeah- okay, fine. we can be allies."
"thanks." jimmy grins a little, and joel watches as scott softens ever so slightly at it.
joel opens his eyes, and he’s once again staring into the coral reef, facing away from everyone else. jimmy's hand is in his hair, and his back is only aching now. he’s a little worried to move, in case it all starts feeling abysmal again, but he can hardly spend the rest of his 24 hours on the mean gills' bridge.
"I could carry you." jimmy suggests, and joel makes a noise of concern—thinking about how precarious they've made their base. "that's- yeah, that's a good point."
"could you try to stand?" grian says tentatively. his voice sounds closer than it was a moment ago, and there's a hand on joel's shoulder that has to be grian's. "the pain shouldn't get too much worse, since the potion has actually fixed a lot of the wounds."
joel wonders if grian can read minds too, or if he just knows what joel would be thinking. he doesn’t think he can read minds, which suggests that- maybe grian just knows him that well. it's a nice thought.
he pushes himself slightly more upward, regretful as he leaves the warmth of jimmy's embrace- and immediately begins to fall backwards again, once again completely forgetting how unbalanced he is now. both jimmy and grian make noises of panic before joel catches himself before he topples all the way over, and he can’t help grinning despite the twinge of pain the sudden movement shoots through his back- and wings, which is a bizarre feeling.
"I might need some help not falling over." joel grins, as grian stands up and lends him a hand. "but it doesn’t hurt that much anymore."
"that's good." grian says, a wave of relief overtaking his expression. joel squeezes his hand, and grian smiles.
jimmy is at his side before joel realises. "maybe we avoid bread bridge for a bit." he says, and joel snorts.
the journey back to the mansion is not nearly as perilous as joel had worried it'd be, considering that it's day and anyone they bumped into seemed to notice the dried blood accompanying the very large wings on joel's back and presumably decided that trying to kill them now would just be rude. the downright murderous looks from both jimmy and grian when someone came a little too close with a weapon, or made just a bit too serious of a threat probably also helped.
instead of attempt to swim with the unfamiliar weight of his newgrown wings, joel elects to pillar up instead. jimmy and grian hover next to him, climbing onto trees and swimming up the water in some attempt to provide a safety net if he falls. admittedly, it's quite sweet- not that he's about to tell them that. he instead settles on insisting that he knows how to pillar up, and praying to every deity that might exist for him not to fall off immediately.
luckily, no one falls or dies or whatever, and they all make it to the top of the mansion in one piece. joel is prepared to pass out in their bed as soon as he reaches it, but he doesn’t really want his bad boys to worry even more at his exhaustion.
as if reading his mind- oh. he forgot- yeah, he can actually do that, can't he? it- anyway, jimmy plops himself down, and gestures for grian and joel to join him—which joel happily obliges. grian almost hesitates, but joel drags him along, and grian doesn't even bother protesting.
joel lays next to jimmy, and grian—who followed quickly after him—pulls him into a hug. huffing softly, joel hugs back. "it's okay." he mumbles into grian's shoulder. "I promise- i'd say something if it weren't."
"I know." grian half-whispers, clearly fighting tears. "i’m- I just can’t get over- I did this to you."
joel swallows more emotion than he expected. "yeah. but- it's- it's 'cause you care. it's not- I can’t hate that." grian makes a little noise that could be a suppressed sob.
"thank you." joel can barely make it out, but he can’t help but blink back tears at the honesty in it- from grian, of all people, that means a lot.
his wings are still sore, and moving them sends an ache down his back, but joel finds himself wanting to wrap them around grian. "I just- I also- y’know. care." joel says, kind of hoping it's too muffled for either grian or jimmy to hear. "it's- I like having.. I don’t know, a piece of you guys with me."
grian sniffles, holding joel tighter. "I- dude, you’re- you’re gonna make me cry."
"join the club." joel huffs a laugh, eyes burning. he buries his face in grian's jumper in the hopes that it'll wipe away any tears that come.
there's a very quiet clearing of someone's throat next to them—unmistakably jimmy. joel doesn’t even need to look up to know he’s also trying not to start crying, and he blindly reaches out a hand until he finds jimmy's shirt and pulls him towards them both. grian catches on, shifting a little to make room for their bad boy.
"I- I didn’t wanna ruin the moment." jimmy is saying as both grian and joel drag him into the hug.
joel can't help smiling as he feels jimmy wrap his arms around him, which- it's embarrassing, but weirdly, he doesn’t even care. "as if either of you could ruin anything." he scoffs, almost to himself.
there's a kiss pressed into his hair, and grian laughs as joel rolls his eyes (if only to disguise how much he appreciates it). "bad boys for life, right?"
jimmy mhms along as joel grins, "bad boys for life."
#the title is maybe a bit on the nose but I was struggling with song lyrics and monster by dodie is one of my favourites#gore#body horror#how else do you tag growing wings very violently#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#grian#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#bad boys#the bad boys#limited life smp#the end may be a bit weird but honestly idec it's been 7 months#wren writes#trafficblr#trafficfic
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Ok. Something I see in the ml fandom sometimes is really starting to bother me. It's not common, per se, but I've seen it enough times now that I'm about to lose it. But people don't deserve me yelling at them/on their fics, so I'm venting here instead. XD As always, feel free to ignore this/not respond if you'd prefer. I'll try to be vague, but I also understand if this is...too specific.
So. With that out of the way. I get near livid these days whenever I see an 'Adrien as an abusive romantic partner to Marinette' AU. Like to an extent I understand, it's an alternative universe. Non canon. Exploration of a "what if." Don't like don't read, yadda yadda. And generally I just...move on.
But also. At the same time. It just makes me so ANGRY. To know this exists. That multiple people can have the absolute gall to take a *canon* abuse victim. Who is sweet and patient and kind (genuinely, but also because he has to be, if you subscribe to the fawning interpretation). And turn him into a manipulative abuser, the unambiguous villain of a story. (And yeah, I've seen the argument that abuse victims can sometimes go on to become abusers themselves, but that doesn't really justify writing Adrien specifically this way? It's still...grossly out of character? Not to mention a bleak and insulting trajectory for his journey as a victim?)
But even better....they take a character who is canonically being gaslit, more or less, by his girlfriend into glorifying his abuser and downplaying the abuse he experienced (I know the term isn't exactly correct but gdi calling it mere "lying" is also an understatement). And then say, you know what. What if we do a switcheroo! And make that same girlfriend -his- abuse victim instead! Let's once again make it about how terrible *she* has it, because canon doesn't already focus on Marinette being upsette enough apparently. It just...leaves such a poor taste in my mouth???
To be clear, these aren't Marinette salt fics, some sort of weird "see how -you- like it" thing. No, these are "Marinette is a victim who will ultimately triumph" stories, not necessarily written by people who even dislike Adrien (if the stories were explicitly Adrien salt I wouldn't have read/come across them in the first place).
And yeah, I understand fan-fiction is often OOC and/or can be a way to deal with one's IRL struggles. But dear GOD does it piss me off like nothing else when someone chooses the *canon victim* to be the Big Bad that the self-insert character gets to overcome. It's plain insulting, is what it is. Long story short, leave Adrien alone and choose a different freaking character to be the abusive jackass!
....you know, I'm think ultimately it wouldn't bother me so much, if it weren't for fandom's much more widespread tendency to indulge in Marinette wangst and act like she's the epitome of human suffering, often at his expense or while ignoring his struggles. So I guess this sub-genre of abuser!Adrien is the straw that broke the camel's back for me.
Anywho, rant over XD I think I've calmed down a bit, so if you read this, thank you for providing a space for me to vent and I hope it wasn't too annoying!
---
This blog does double time as an analysis and vent blog, so sending in pet peeves is completely allowed and even encouraged. Yeah, like, even if Adrien wasn't an abuse victim, seeing a trend of “abuser AUs” for any character you're a fan of is annoying. When something annoying gets combined with this fandom trend being basically the culmination of things pushed in canon, it turns downright aggravating.
Because that's really the thing that makes it more than just another case of basic “well, we need someone to mistreat our lead so that she can overcome hardships”; it has its roots in something actually harmful going on in the show and fandom. Adrien's victimhood constantly gets sidelined, or he's demonized for his trauma responses, so a fic trend where he continues the cycle of abuse just comes across as even more victim blaming.
Meanwhile, Marinette's petty grievances are treated as signs of how she's the biggest victim on the block, she's suffering so much more than the literal abuse victims, so a fic having her be literally victimized by the very abuse victim whose victimhood she commandeers in canon is both very expected for this fandom but also really aggravating.
I’m saying I get it.
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Apparently, Boot Camp Doesn't Have Lessons in Subtlety
Rating: T - Word Count: 3.5k
Read on Ao3
SUMMARY:
Benny DeMarco doesn't get paid enough to sleep in the same barrack as the Bucks at the POW camp in the winter months once everyone has to start sharing bunks…
Buck and Bucky are sharing a bunk and let's just say they are not subtle about anything that is going on in that bed. If anyone was oblivious to the feelings going on between the two of them before, it's never been more obvious than now.
Benny DeMarco is pretty over it, but he'll also defend them to his dying breath. Oh, and he's taken to gossiping about them with John Brady.
OR
A companion fic to my 5+1 Clegan bedsharing fic In your arms (I think I might survive) giving a humorous outsider perspective from the men of the 100th and those sharing the barrack with Buck and Bucky.
Benny DeMarco does not get paid enough to put up with petty shit in life. Specifically, the Bucks. Specifically how not subtle they are about their obvious feelings for each other.
God, could they be more obvious?
It was obvious from the moment Bucky came walking in the gates asking if Buck made it. Sure, the two were best friends and that was a normal question, but anyone who has eyes could've seen the way Bucky's whole demeanor changed once he caught sight of his "best friend."
Best friends my ass.
Best something, though, that's for sure.
It's usually not horribly distracting or overt, though. They pass as friends most of the time unless Bucky is drunk, Benny supposes, or they're arguing in which case they act like a goddamn married couple. They fly under the radar pretty easily at the prisoner-of-war camp for that reason. No danger, really. The Nazis would have their heads for any kind of association. Everyone knows how the Germans feel about that sort of thing. It's not spoken about. Hell, most people everywhere don't look too kindly on it, but DeMarco's not the kind of man who thinks somebody should be murdered because of the way they're living their life. It's not like some happiness in another person is worthy of the death sentence. That's just madness. And Buck and Bucky are some of DeMarco's best friends, he could never feel hatred toward them.
Annoyance? So much. And in increasing amounts...
See, they were fine until it got cold at night then Benny is certain everyone in the whole of their Barracks became painfully aware of the fact that they were painfully in love with each other because — goddamn it — they were sleeping in the same bunk and if it wasn’t obvious before that the two were hopelessly smitten with each other, well, after that it certainly was.
For one thing, Buck Cleven has the worst case of puppy dog eyes that Benny has ever seen. He’s had it bad for a while now (since before Benny went down and was still back at base) with his little soft smiles that he thinks he hides so well and mostly (mostly!) only gives Bucky when he’s not looking — but everyone else is.
LORD give him strength.
And then there’s Bucky.
That man antagonizes the fuck out of Buck at any given chance and Benny doesn’t even think he realizes it. And the worst thing is they both seem to like it. It’s the strangest thing and Benny is sure that this is their way of flirting.
Which is entirely infuriating because it’s the most annoying thing in the universe to be around.
Bucky’s antics only increase once they start sharing a bunk, and Benny’s not sure if it has more to do with his close proximity to Buck or his general cabin fever due to the German winter at the Stalag. Whatever the cause, Bucky is incorrigible, and his behavior at times is nigh impossible to deal with. Though, Benny has to admit, the moments of levity do bring several of the other men out of their low moments more often than not, himself included, so he can’t fault Bucky too much for his attitude. Even when he pisses Benny off, he is a light in the dark camp.
Still makes Benny want to punch him in the face half the time, but in a brotherly way.
And if the two of them are bad during the daytime, that’s nothing compared to how transparent they are when they’re actually snuggled together at night.
Now, Benny’s not an idiot. It’s winter. Even he is sharing a bunk. It’s cold as fuck outside and even he understands the necessity to shove aside pride and get in close quarters with a buddy for the foreseeable future. But, the Bucks have taken this situation and turned it into a nightly slumber party.
After the lights turn out they stay up whispering and giggling with each other like a couple of school girls. He’s convinced if their hair grew out long enough while they were here in the camp, the two of them would spend the nights braiding each other’s.
It’s not like Benny is especially complaining that they’re talking. They’re not that loud; he can’t even tell what they’re saying and he’s not sure anyone could even those in the bunks closest to them (though, the men in the bunks above and below them soon found themselves migrating away due to the way the Bucks consistently stayed up talking at night— nobody wanted to be in their bubble. They were a whole world unto themselves. Again— not subtle). So, it’s not the volume that bothers Benny about their conversations at night. It’s not even really that he’s bothered. It’s just that, really? It’s every night. And maybe Benny can admit to being just a little jealous because it’s not like he has a best friend here. Or anyone to talk to. Not that he would really want someone so important to him to be experiencing the Stalag alongside him, but it’s significant that in a place like this, the Bucks have each other. They seem to be holding together better individually because they have one another.
It pisses Benny off as much as anything else does. It’s not rational, but it makes their voices carrying across the room at night irritate him. He tries not to let it get to him because it’s not fair that them having a sliver of happiness should make him feel that way, but he’s just a man.
He starts to get over it when he starts gossiping with John Brady who is in another barrack, but also from the 100th and knows as well as he does what it is to know the Bucks.
��Brady, you have no idea— Bucky has it so bad. Yesterday we were all sitting around shootin’ the shit after lunch and— I swear to god— Buck gave him this look like he was being an idiot — because he was — and Bucky just leaned in real close to him like none of the rest of us were even there, face almost touching, no sense of personal space whatsoever—“
“Well, hey, it’s not like Bucky’s ever been good at personal space with his buddies much anyway—"
“Yeah, but usually he’s drunk. But listen to this next bit. Bucky leans in real close to Buck, fully sober, grinning like an idiot, and says ‘I could show you a thing or two.’” Benny lets it hang in the air, waiting for Brady’s response. He has his hands splayed in a well? gesture. Brady’s eyebrows fly up and he leans toward Benny in interest.
“You were all talking about baseball, right? But still, that is… very not subtle. A blatant flirtation.”
“I know.”
“Buck must know that too, right?”
“Please, Buck is always flirting with Bucky. He just does it differently. That man is not subtle either.” Brady seems confused by that, not convinced.
“Wait, what do you mean, I’ve never seen him flirt with anyone. Doesn’t he have a girl back home he’s writing to? I thought they were pretty serious!”
Benny makes a placating gesture and leans back in his chair. “I’m not saying he’s not serious with his girl back home or anything, but the way he makes eyes at Bucky is not a made-up thing. And anyone who’s ever read the Bible knows a man can have more than one lover.”
“Benny!”
“I’m just saying…”
But the thing is, the Bucks really aren’t subtle. Like, at all.
And if Bucky thinks he’s quiet in any sense of the word then he’s a damn fool.
Buck may be able to keep quiet most of the time in the daylight, being that he keeps mostly to himself and is pretty private, not saying too much, and isn’t overtly given to random outbursts of sound. But Bucky? Bucky is the pure opposite of Buck. In the daytime, he’s impulsive and will make stray comments on any conversation whether he’s a part of it or not, whether it’s appropriate or not. The only time Benny has ever seen Bucky hold his tongue is when it’s in a professional capacity in front of a superior officer, and even then half the time Bucky is mouthing back and risking his career.
To say this translates to the situation with the Bucks is to say that the sky is blue.
Meaning in December everyone in the Barrack with the Bucks is aware there is a change in the nature of the relationship between the two of them.
They are not subtle. Heavy breathing and the occasional low moan from their bunk is not an unusual occurrence starting sometime in December with increasing frequency.
Nobody says anything about it.
The Bucks are both happier for the shift in their dynamic and anytime somebody goes to complain about it, all of the men from the 100th noticeably stiffen and glare. They’re protective of their Majors to the end. All of them would likely die for either of the Bucks, let alone sucker punch anyone who criticized the men for finding happiness in wartime.
It’s not really a conscious decision on Benny’s part, to defend the Bucks and their relationship, it’s just that any time he hears anyone start to get a little tetchy about it, he gets defensive. So what if they’re keeping you up a bit? Shove off, put some wool in your ears, and deal with it, it’s the damn war. Stop being such a damn child about it.
They don’t complain anymore after that.
It’s just the way it is after that. Nobody says anything about it to anyone else. If the 100th is this protective of the Majors for mere comments, imagine how they would be with an actual threat? DeMarco’s not sure the 100th would be able to leave a man alive. Or at least unscarred— probably scare a man into secrecy if they even thought about saying anything about their Majors.
The days surrounding Christmas are perhaps some of the most awkward days of DeMarco’s life. Not only because it’s Christmas and he’s trying to ignore the holiday, not get caught up in his complicated feelings about the Holy Day that he wished he was spending with family back home, or even on base in more favorable circumstances with more friends, but also because the Bucks are acting weird. There’s a definite tension between them like they’re fighting. It carries into the next day too and the itchy feeling permeates into the air like a bad smell and affects everyone. It’s frankly awful.
Even Brady, who’s not in the same Barracks takes note of it at meal time.
“Benny, why does it feel like Mom and Dad are fighting and it’s my fault?”
“Thank GOD I’m not the only one who noticed!”
“I mean, look at them! They’re sitting right across from each other, and they keep glancing at each other when the other isn’t looking and they’re all moping sad eyes! What is going on?”
“Fuck if I know, Brady.”
“How long until they make up?”
“God, I hope it’s soon.”
Brady has a wild smirk on his face. “My bets are on tomorrow night. By the next morning, they’ll be acting back to normal— just you see.” His eyes are like a madman and Benny can’t see any logical conclusion to what he’s saying.
“No way in hell, kid. I’ll take you on that.”
But when he wakes up the next morning to Bucky’s horrible renditions of the birthday song, Benny knows he’s beat. That little shit knew too much. If Benny had known today was Gale Cleven’s birthday he never would have doubted that the Bucks would reconcile today.
And reconcile they do.
By the end of the night, Benny is convinced anyone in the Barrack who didn’t already know about the Bucks surely does by now because—
They. Are. Not. Subtle.
Or QUIET.
GOD.
Sometimes Benny wishes he could bleach his brain.
He loves his friend, but really, the two of them are colossal idiots.
There was more moaning tonight than usual and the culprit was none other than Buck, which is honestly surprising too since he’s the quiet one between the two of them for most of his life. But it is his birthday.
And— goddamn it— Benny does not need to think about what kind of present Bucky must be giving Buck tonight. Because that is just way too much.
But really? REALLY? In front of all of them?
Benny DeMarco is not getting paid enough to deal with the Bucks.
Benny shuffles into the mess in the morning and sits at his usual table waiting for Brady with his head in his hands. When he sees the Bucks walk in shoulder to shoulder, practically glued to the hip once again, talking quietly about the fuck knows what Buck smiling with his eyes and Bucky practically vibrating out of his skin with wild energy—
Well, Benny knows he’s lost the bet.
Damn, Brady.
Speak of the devil. The younger man takes a seat at the table across from him with a smirk, inclining his head toward the smitten couple a ways down the mess, but doesn’t say anything.
“Oh, shut up, Brady, I got enough of an earful last night.”
Brady’s eyebrows go up comically high at that. “Wait, no! Now you have to dish!”
Benny glares. “As if you didn’t know already that it was Cleven’s birthday yesterday.”
Brady has the decency to look sheepish at that. “I’ll admit, I may have had some insider knowledge there— but how was I supposed to know you didn’t also know? All’s fair, and that.”
“Whatever. You really sure you want to hear this one, Brady?”
“Since when have you been shy about the exploits and drama of the Bucks, Benny?” He’s sure his face must be red. Benny glances over his shoulder where the men are sitting across from each other, chatting like the tension of the last few days never happened.
“Okay, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. They— well, obviously I don’t know anything for certain, but…”
“But what? Spit it out, Benny!”
Benny covers his eyes with his hand. Why is this so hard to say? Is it because it’s his friends? Is it because they’re men? He doesn’t know, but it feels so secretive like he can’t say it in the daylight. He takes the hand away and leans in a little closer. “Well, I’m pretty sure that Bucky got Buck off last night. There was so much moaning and most all of it was Buck. Some sort of birthday surprise. It’s never been like that before, ya know?”
Brady’s eyes go comically wide, his jaw falling slack just so. His eyes dart over Benny’s shoulder to where the Majors are. Benny wonders if he’s broken the poor kid. After a moment, the biggest grin Benny has ever seen splits Brady’s face.
“OH MY GOD! FINALLY!”
What.
Benny is so confused.
Several people around them look over at Brady’s outburst.
“Brady, shut up!” Benny hisses between clenched teeth.
“Sorry! Sorry, it’s just. I mean, it’s kinda romantic, innit? I mean, you know they met at bootcamp, right? They always tell stories about falling in love during hopeless circumstances and how love overcomes everything— to actually see it happen? I mean, c’mon! Look at them! They’re beating the odds! They keep surviving everything and even though they both got downed in Germany, they both made it here to the same place? Beating the odds again? How can I not be excited that their friendship destined for more is becoming that? And that they’re making it work despite that?” Brady’s staring off into the distance, a goofy-looking smile on his face, his eyes practically filled with hearts, and Benny—
Benny is just staring at him with a dumbfounded expression.
What the actual fuck is going on here.
Benny gets it on a superficial level. What the kid said makes sense in a girly romance-novel sort of way, but it doesn’t connect for him the same way. The Bucks are just his friends and they’re just two guys who like each other and maybe had sex last night way too close to him in the barracks.
Brady is something else.
“Right.”
After that, everything escalates. The Bucks are all over each other day and night it seems, and Brady is always either talking to Benny about them or hounding him for information. It’s like the Bucks bring Brady hope in the camp, but Benny is concerned that it’s bordering on obsessive. As for the Bucks themselves… well, they’re still flying under the radar during the day to anyone who doesn’t know them, but for the love of all that is holy Benny just must know them because it’s like all he can see are their little glances and nods. The way they leave things around for each other in hidden gestures that mean something to the other. How one of them will quirk an eyebrow or leave space for the other to fill.
He doesn’t mean to notice things. He’s trained his whole life to be an observant man! It’s in his nature to pick up on interpersonal dynamics. He could do this with his eyes closed. (At night he does this with his eyes closed and he wishes he could just knock himself unconscious but he swears those men are making out in the bunk across the way. He just knows it).
So, when it’s Valentine’s Day and Buck gets a letter from his sweet, sweet Marge and Buck absolutely shuts down, Benny really should have seen that coming. It surprises him that he didn’t see it coming, actually.
“Brady they’re acting like idiots.”
“Why? It’s Valentine’s Day! They’ve been dating since at least Buck’s birthday— what could possibly have happened?”
“That’s the thing, Brady. I have a theory.”
“Uh-oh. What is it.”
“Listen here, kid, I dunno how well you’ll take this.”
Brady’s eyebrows draw together.
“You don’t think they broke up on Valentine’s, do you?” Brady sounds horrified even at the thought. Before Benny can get in a word edgewise to calm him down, Brady is talking again. “But even if they did have some big blowout fight— Benny! They would never stay apart for long! Look at those two through everything! I mean—“
“Brady! That’s not it at all!”
All the stress instantly drops from Brady’s frame and is replaced with confusion in a moment.
“It’s not? Then… what is it.”
Benny heaves a sigh and runs a weary hand through his hair. Not paid enough for this…
“Listen, Buck got another letter from Marge today, right, ‘cause it’s Valentine’s and all, and Bucky got all sad about it—“
“Right! That makes sense.”
“Stop interrupting me.”
“Sorry!”
Benny glares.
“Sorry,” Brady says again, hands up in a peace offering.
After another moment of staring Brady down, Benny continues. “As I was saying, Bucky got all hurt about the letter, so my theory is that these two idiots,” Benny leans in closer and drops his voice for security’s sake as he continues, “have been dicking around this whole time and never actually talked about the fact that they’re both in love with each other.”
Brady gasps— loudly. He looks even more horrified than when he thought the Bucks broke up.
“NO WAY!”
“SHUT UP!” Benny hisses, looking around to make sure nobody is watching them. “But think about it for a minute.
“There’s no way they haven’t talked about it, Benny! You said so yourself, they’re always up at night talking and whispering— for hours sometimes!”
Benny gives him a wary look. “Yeah, but you honestly think either Buck or Bucky is willingly talking about their feelings for hours and hours?”
Brady purses his lips. “You got me there.”
There’s a beat of silence between them as they both sit with the revelation of it all.
“What happens now, then?”
“Well, one thing is for sure, if Bucky mopes around the barracks for one more goddamn minute I’ll lose my fucking mind, so I’m going to go tell Buck that his boyfriend is being an idiot. And frankly? That he is too.”
“Well, you better let me know how it goes tomorrow! This is SERIOUS, Benny!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure whether I want to or not, you’ll find a way to get it out of me.”
Brady does, in fact, get the story out of Benny the next day.
“OH MY GOD HE WHAT????”
“Brady, would you calm down? And shut the hell up? I just told you what happened!”
“I know, I know! I just can’t believe it. You really mean to tell me that Bucky was moping in his own bunk after MONTHS of sleeping in Buck’s and when Buck confronted him about it he stood at the foot and talked and then suddenly aggressively climbed on top of Bucky for some sexually charged fight until they eventually just started making out?”
“That’s what I just said, Brady, yes.”
Brady starts laughing and doesn’t stop until there are tears in the corners of his eyes.
“I’m also pretty sure they said I love you, but I never can actually hear them. Just from the context.”
“OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.”
“Brady SHUT UP!”
~Fin
#john brady#benny demarco#john egan x gale cleven#john “bucky” egan#buck x bucky#major buck cleven#bucky cleven#buck cleven#bucky x buck#mota#mota fic#mota fanfic#buck(y)#clegan#POV benny DeMarco
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I think we have all seen the "Argenti thinks the Reader is Idrila" stuff on here. But what if the reader actually is Idrila? So I wanted to request Argenti/Idrila!Reader (gn or afab reader) headcanons or a oneshot where Idrila, who has taken on a mortal identity after [Insert tragic event here], and meets Argenti. They develop feelings for each other, Argenti finds out she is Idrila, they end up dating. (Maybe or maybe not in that specific order) I thought maybe after protecting her followers from Nanook she disappeared to ensure Nanook doesn't target them anymore? That part isn't as important so feel free to add whatever backstory you think fits^^ Thank you in advance, I really like your writing!
NONNIE omg im booting up star rail rn to stare at him lovingly. also i changed the scenario a smidge so reader is her own person while also being idrila? if that makes sense......?? yeah. also bc otherwise id be writing ten thousand words n i didnt want ur ask to grow dusty in my inbox d(;∀;d) but tysm for the prompt i couldn’t stop thinking about it ueue. also hey gang peep me trying to make my blog look more coherent n nicer looking. am i doin it ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: a smidge of amnesia and soulmate trope (it’s not that bad, trust), fluff, love at first sight (does that even count in this scenario....), argenti and reader are dancing around the topic a lot bc argenti is a gentleman and doesn’t want to pressure her to talk. blurbs to set up the plot + a fic after them hehe. not proofread, writer’s block is killing me includes: fem reader (he refers to reader as "my lady"), argenti, natasha, luocha is kinda there wc: 2,3k
-ˋˏ You’d go to Natasha’s clinic at least once every other day because you always had the worst migraines. To the point where you almost got beat up by a Flamespawn one time when you were clearing out calyxes (thankfully there was a Silvermane guard patrolling the area, otherwise you would’ve been charred). The doctor always says the same thing; “Stop looking for fights so often”, “Let your body rest”, “I can’t prescribe you antibiotics”, and your favorite, “Stop slamming my door open I can’t do anything about your headaches”. She was a good friend, but whenever she repeated how she couldn’t be of any help to your predicament, you’d wish you could just take that glass vial hanging from her outfit and chuck it far, far away out of spite.
-ˋˏ Obviously it wasn’t her fault- she'd done everything she could. Natasha even had you undergo the Underworld’s equivalent of an MRI scan because of how frequently you would visit her, insisting that something was wrong. The symptoms consisted of forgetting important things too often, feeling a foreign buzz in your limbs and brain, having a sudden burst of elemental energy come out of your attacks and a myriad of benign but annoying, irritating signs that something was up with you.
-ˋˏ It became more of a chore than anything to leave your room. Some days you felt fine, but then when you’d go out again and beat up wave after wave of enemies in Caverns of Corrosion you would keel over, clutching your head while vague images of what could only be described as a fever dream ran through your mind.
-ˋˏ You decided to leave the Underworld for some time- considering your absence like some sort of “vacation”. You heard of a wandering doctor (and merchant, apparently) by the name of Luocha and, from the people that crossed paths with him, it seemed like he was extraordinary at his job. A trek to the Xianzhou Luofu would be a long one, but after weighing your options you thought you’d give it a try (it was worth it if it meant you’d stop waking up at ungodly hours, holding your head in your hands while hoping, praying that the pain stops.)
-ˋˏ You (somehow) made your way to the Xianzhou Luofu from Jarilo-VI. As competent as you were however, being stranded on a foreign planet with no map nor local to guide you was... a challenge. In retrospect, maybe you should’ve gotten in contact with that Luocha doctor and had him come to Belobog instead of you going to him since, well, he was a traveling merchant. Going from planet to planet is what he does (you assume).
✧✧✧
If you had read up more on general information about the Luofu you would have been aware of how many enemies were roaming around the docking area. But you didn’t. So, unbeknownst to you, a rogue mara-struck soldier was on your tail, trying to sneak up to you to snag the goods you hid in your bag (which were basically just different types of painkillers and sustenance that bodes well on an upset stomach. He doesn’t know that though.)
Your head was throbbing; ever since you set foot on the planet, your physical health had slowly dropped down to levels you wouldn’t be enduring if it wasn’t for the promise of a competent doctor once you get to the main city. Painkillers weren’t working, your feet hurt and to make matters worse, you felt the familiar lack of something in your head. It was so bad to the point where you had to have a tangible mark somewhere to remind you that you did, in fact, just take something for your headache and if you took two more painkillers, your body wouldn’t agree with your decision. It was a struggle even remembering what you did five minutes ago, no way were you going to be in top shape, beating up every enemy crossing your way.
Clouds began covering the bright sun, casting shadows over the desolate, geometric area. You huff, irritated that, from the looks of it, you won’t be able to find a cozy place to set up camp. Though sleeping on a ground made of primarily iron and steel was considerably less nerve-wracking than sleeping on the mushy, cold, dirty ground of Jarilo-VI. So, with a pout aimed at no one in particular, you find some place that you deemed decent enough to set your humble tent. It wasn’t often that adventurers slept outside of safe zones, however with your condition you couldn’t afford to miss out on some rest and possibly get even more lost than you already are.
You set your heavy backpack down, rolling your shoulders to soothe the ache in your muscles from carrying something so bulky. As you ruffle through your belongings, you open a bottled soda and take a swift gulp, sighing contentedly at the pleasant taste on your tongue. Now that you were sat and could rest your bones (until you started setting up your tent, at least), your ears were able to pick up on some not-so-distant footsteps.
There’s no time for you to react; the mara-struck soldier that had been following you lunges at you, aiming for your bag. Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to yell, but before any sound can leave your mouth, a long, red and gold spear pierces the ground between you and the rabid man, making you yelp in surprise. You scurry as far back as you can in your current state; however, the soldier doesn’t have time to take advantage of your weakened stature. The owner of the spear lodges himself before your shaking figure and the mara-struck, yanking his spear out of the ground with impressive elegance, and summons an array of thorny vines to catch your assailant.
It takes little to no effort for the seasoned fighter to take down the mara-struck as he swings his weapon, swiftly knocking the blunt end on the soldier’s plexus, knocking the wind out of him. A strangled scream leaves his throat as he scampers away, leaving your belongings safe with you and the strange red-haired man. He lowers his spear, careful to keep the sharp edge far from you, and turns around to face you properly. His brows raise a smidge for a split second before he composes himself and bows before you, the action short and curt.
“It would have been a shame to lose a beauty such as yourself,” he says smoothly, straightening his back to look down at you with a warm smile. He stretches his hand out, a polite offer to help you stand up, as he continues speaking. “My name is Argenti, I belong to the Knights of Beauty. What might you be doing so far away from civilization, dear...?” he trails off, waiting for you to introduce yourself.
You were in a state of shock, your mind still processing what had happened in such a short amount of time, that you failed to notice the lack of pain at the back of your head. As you meekly tell him your name, you hold onto his hand to help yourself up- as soon as his armored glove comes in contact with your hand something flashes in your mind; too quick to allow you to think about it too much, or to recognize what you saw for a millisecond.
“So far away from civilization... do you know how to get to the city?” you ask as you feel a glimmer of hope spark in you. His words were refreshing, probably the best thing someone has ever said to you in the past month. He nods, reaching into his pocket to fish out a blue handkerchief embroidered with a delicate gold trim. Argenti hands it over to you and you gratefully take it, blotting the sweat and... dust off of your face.
“I have made my way around the Luofu for long enough to show someone the way,” he says kindly. “Besides, even if I didn’t, I would still offer to accompany you through your trek. It is my duty as a Knight of Beauty, for I must uphold chivalry and distinguished manners, in the name of the Goddess guiding me.” His words resonate within you, making you beam, nodding in understanding.
Your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the knight. As you hand his handkerchief back, he smiles at you and gestures to your bag. “What brings you so far from your homeworld, my lady?” Argenti asks gently, though a glimmer of doubt swirls in his sparkling, verdant eyes. The question makes you pause, a memory flashing in your mind too suddenly for you to know what it meant. Although, from what you could tell, you knew you could trust him with what troubled you somehow.
“Ah, it’s a long story,” you start sheepishly, “I’ve been having these incredibly painful migraines recently. And sometimes I feel like my memory is fading too quickly for what would be considered normal,” you say, trailing off slightly at the end. “I’m looking for a healer, a doctor by the name of Luocha...?”
Somehow, the doctor was currently the least of your worries. You’d never felt so refreshed before, at least not that you could remember; simply being in Argenti’s presence seemed to be enough to make your aches disappear like a starskiff smoothly gliding through a cloudless sky.
“I’ve seen the man only a handful of times,” Argenti mutters aloud, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I can do my best to guide you to him, but if I may... you don’t seem to be injured?” the knight says, his voice trailing off into a questioning tone despite the observation. You shake your head, wondering how you should explain your predicament to the man.
“Like I said, it’s a long story,” you say again, shrugging sheepishly. You wondered if you should even go into the nitty gritty- he could always just be making small talk to help you get comfortable or something. Sensing your unease, he changes the spotlight to him instead.
“There’s no need to delve into details if you wish to keep them secret,” he says with a kind smile, bending down to take ahold of your hand- gently pressing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand. Red flushes your ears immediately, words caught in your throat at the sight of his hair cascading over his shoulders, a beautiful contrast from the gold and silver armor glittering in what was left of the sunlight.
“As for myself, like I mentioned earlier, I am a Knight of Beauty. I’m on a quest to find my dear Goddess Idrila once more, for I need to pay my respects to them after they saved me from a particularly grim fate.” His words echoed in your mind, your brows knitting together as you felt what could only be described as a cold bucket of water being dunked on your head. “I-Idrila?” you parrot, your voice coming out as a choked noise. Argenti perks up, the hand that had been softly holding onto yours now holding it with a firmer grip, his other hand joining it.
“Yes, Idrila. Have you ever heard of them? Or...” he trails off, looking deep into your eyes expectantly, almost as if he knew something you didn’t. His eyes seemed to suck you in, bringing a comfortable wave of warmth over you, making you yearn for something.
“I...” you begin, your gaze falling down to look at your feet. As you thought long and hard about what you wanted to say, what you tried to remember, you slowly look over to his spear, lying flat on the ground- long forgotten since the fight earlier. As if a lightbulb went off above your head, you perk up just as he did, and look at him, beaming. The words were caught in your throat; there was so much you wanted to say, to declare, to do in this moment of clarity, but with how fast your mind was running to catch you up on the current events of your life it was a struggle.
“Argenti,” you murmur, the name rolling off your tongue smoothly, as you realized seeing the traveling merchant was no longer required. Though the road might have been arduous, and you may have almost lost your mind in the process, being with Argenti suddenly made everything make sense. That’s why your migraines mysteriously disappeared as soon as you were in the knight’s presence, that’s why you had gaps in your memory, that’s why you were freakishly powerful... at convenient times.
Everything clicked into place.
The both of you share a pregnant pause, eyes locked together as the world seemed to come to a stop around you. If it were possible, you’re sure there would be delicate, silky rose petals floating around your figures, suspended in the air. You glance down at his lips, and for the first time, make a decision with a clear head.
His lips felt smooth against yours, the faint taste of vanilla mixed with roses transferring to your own lips. The kiss almost felt like it could be the result of a symbiotic relationship; now that you had Argenti, or at least had him by your side once again, you didn’t think you’d be able to continue on without him.
#i may or may not have butchered the ending bc i DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM /SOBS#i did my best#୧ ‧₊˚orderup!#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#argenti x reader#argenti x fem reader#argenti x you#argenti x y/n
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Thoughts on DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 12
//Hey everyone! So, it's been 17 months since the last episode, which...holy crap, right?
//Now that we've come to the continuation of our story, we have some new things to discuss, and I'm not just talking about what I've said. Instead of just repeating myself again, let's break down what's been happening in this episode and then we can continue theorizing.
I have three big things I want to address in this, which we should consider going forward:
(SPOILERS AHEAD)
The Murder Was Actually WORSE than it seemed
So Charles' point about where they fucked up was about the murder. However, it was about something I don't believe any of us quite considered: that the water from the relaxation room was taken and held for later use. We do have jugs in the trash that prove it's possible.
It's nice to see Teruko admit that she made a mistake and that the time of the murder was wrong, but to me, this meant two things: our murder could've happened at quite possibly any time and it would've been worse than it sounds.
See, death by drowning is already one of the worst ways to die, but if they obtained some jugs of water and used those in the murder, it means that our victim must've been waterboarded to death. Drowning is bad, but waterboarding is an even worse and more horrific way to die. More importantly to this case, it's pretty quick for the culprit.
Without oxygen, you'll experience brain death within 6-10 minutes. Since we now know the murder was set up in advance overnight, this means that all they really needed to do was grab their target, carry out the drowning and then hang the body to break the neck and disguise the cause of death. It could be over in less than 15 minutes.
We also now know that, as we all predicted, the murder likely took place around 7:30-8 AM, not PM, when most people were asleep and only a few were up at breakfast. This has also thrown most everyone's alibis out the window.
Essentially, whomever our victim was, she was murdered via waterboarding and then her body hung up while some people were awake. They cut is so close that the body was still swaying, as Teruko noted. That wouldn't happen just from the fans.
2. What's David Game Plan?
I've made it no secret that I'm not a fan of David, nor do I agree with the view that he's set to be DT's rival. As I've said many times before, Teruko doesn't need a rival like him, since the only challenge he offers her is being an existential threat.
That being said, I both like and dislike what happened with David this episode. It's good to see him not consistently being an annoying troll who evades questions by being a dick, and to actually have something more to say and some actual questions he raises. He's been lying about being Arei's killer, and apparently, that's part of what he considers a noble goal on par with Xander.
David's point in this episode is that he wants to be a "good person" like Xander, which echoes my points in my theory about how that's what this chapter is about: The Meaning Of A "Good Person." Teruko is, understandably, still very bitter and hurt by his betrayal, so she considers that idea laughable. David's point that "I'm sure he had a good reason" actually made me laugh, admittedly.
But what's interesting is he gave us an answer in the form of a non-answer. He claims he believes in something greater than himself and the lives of everyone else in this game, and since they're all on TV, he questions why this would be happening if the people behind it didn't want to make things entertaining. He brings up how Xander wanted to end the killing game and he's been derailing the trial because he says he wants to do the same.
What's frustrating is, as Hu says, David has essentially decided everyone's lives aren't important enough to preserve, so it's better if they all just give up and die to end the game. Xander did not want that, he wanted to end it with minimal casualties. A Total Party Kill is antithetical to everything Xander stood for, so if David is being sincere, he's really spitting in the guy's face.
I'm really curious what exactly he meant by him being the only one who "recognized" him. The thing with J early on proved that some of these people were at least aware of each other pre-game.
But does this mean David is actually a good person with noble goals? What part of "You exist to manipulate others" is not clear? I can't accept that at this point, but here's what I can accept, because it fits in so well with what we've been seeing:
Consider: why exactly did Xander try to kill Teruko? Because someone wanted her dead and somehow convinced him to give it a shot. We know that someone out there wants Teruko dead for whatever reason, and direct attempted murder has failed. What's the next best thing? Convince someone else that she needs to be dealt with.
Remember the secret David got? "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault."
And let's be real: it's gotta be Teruko's. Between everything we've seen, it can't be anyone else. I'm sure David just said it was Xander's because it was easier to blame a dead person.
So let's consider how easy it would be for David to see that secret and then convince himself that Xander not only had the right idea, it really is better to let everyone die if it means Teruko is gone too. I can buy his admiration for Xander could drive him to do something like that if he learned something that horrible about Teruko, and then decide it was all for the greater good.
That, of course, assumes he actually means what he says. I remain convinced that Hu was the one who carried out the killing in his stead, and with the Blackened rule- it's the one who's the "most mastermind-y," not just whoever deals the fatal blow- David's alibi is irrelevant.
"But Bubbles, didn't Hu and Nico say that they have alibis for morning?"
Yes, but I'm also convinced David drove both of them to attempt murder for these very same reasons, first with Ace and then Arei. Either this was a "selfless" act based on his blind hero-worship of Xander that required everyone to be sacrificed, or this is all a selfish act to end the game and escape with his own life. Until someone can independently verify that Hu and Nico have alibis, I can't believe anything they say.
As for why they wouldn't say anything, Hu made a very impassioned speech about wanting to live and that David has no right to decide who should live and die. She is correct, and if her secret is that she was a hopeless child who tried to end it all three times, that actually adds a lot more weight to what she's saying here.
...But at the same time, under the belief that whomever killed would be executed, why would someone who wants to live just admit to being the one who did it? I don't like to consider it, bu Hu's desire to live paradoxically makes her more suspicious in my eyes. At least in being David's patsy.
Oh, and speaking of murder, here's the thing we all called.
3. Levi's Secret
Let's be real: we all probably saw this one coming. In the closing minutes of the episode, Levi admits that his secret is being a remorseless murderer.
Now, where everyone got this wrong is in assuming that, because that's his secret, it means that he must've been the one to kill Arei. That theory can be pretty definitively put to bed because, as I said with Hu, why would a murderer just admit to being a murderer after all this has happened?
Moreover, his point wasn't a confession. He didn't say he was the one who killed her, he apologized for potentially derailing the discussion again, and this was when everyone had hit a dead end in how to progress. If Levi were the Blackened, why would he do that? It would be in his best interest to stay quiet until the very end.
Instead, I think this is where an even stronger point in my favor comes in: Arei really did visit Levi, and they did discuss their secrets, but he didn't kill her. They either collaborated, talked about it or at least made peace about it, since they both came from pretty shitty families and probably found some common ground.
David brought up what it means to be a good person, but Arei and Levi are also great examples. Both have done terrible things and wanted to find redemption from them, Levi with murder and Arei with being a bully. The only reason I can see this being brought up now is because we have yet to hear his or her side of this story, and that could bring us to more important revelations down the line.
//So there you go, my breakdown of this episode. It's answered some questions, pretty definitively ended a couple theories, and raised many more points of discussion. And thankfully now we only have to wait until Friday to receive some more answers : P
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hello hello! it is i, the newly named 🤡anon! since christmas is coming up, i was wondering if you could maybe do carnival trio x reader spending christmas together? :) lmk if you're getting annoyed of the same three guys lol
Christmas with the Carnival Trio
Ft: My versions of Jason the Toymaker, Laughing Jack and Candy Pop with some references to their human disguises/human forms
Warnings: None! It's Christmas so pure fluff!
Jason the Toymaker
• Ah December...the one month of the year that his shop is always sold out and all the humans just seem to decide to pretend world peace exists. It both comforted and disgusted him.
• If you don't celebrate or like/enjoy Christmas then absolutely nothing is different between you two, he won't even mention the wretched holiday and gladly so as he hates the moments of self loathing after acting all sweet and nice and jolly and all that other disgusting stuff you humans do during this time.
• If you do celebrate then oh boy you have one uncomfortable boyfriend, nobody really knows what Jason is but he's close to a human atleast in the sense he has SOME emotions but they're very much repressed and uncomfortable for him. That warm fuzzy feeling he gets when you're covered in frosting and sobbing as the gingerbread house keeps falling apart. How he can't help but find you absolutely adorable in your santa hat and ugly sweater. That childish feeling he gets when you drag him outside to build a snowman together. The wonder when you two turn on the lights for the first time. He hates it...
• He has to admit, his favorite part of this human holiday is the food, especially the gingerbread, so make sure to make it a tradition to bake gingerbread men and make gingerbread houses! As previously mentioned, if you have OCD or sum and need to make sure the house is perfect then he will have a genuinely good time just watching you act like a fool trying to put it together, his little fool.
• You forced him. Into this horrifying sweater. It's itchy. More proof something is wrong with you humans. Why is it so itchy? And warm... It is kinda warm. Still itchy tho. He hates it. Too tight. Too itchy. Get it off. GET IT OFF!-
• The music isn't half bad but why does everyone find the need to go to church? It makes no sense to him! Y'all couldn't give a shit 11 months out of the year but when it comes to this holiday you apparently all decide to act like you aren't horrible people. No sense he swears.
• You want him to build a WHAT? Like hell is he stepping foot in that cold shit, he will gladly stay inside! You dragged him outside. Best thing you've ever done because he loves it, your snowman is named Earl, he will cry when Earl melts.
• When it was time to open the presents you gave him a small little box containing a handmade doll made to look like him and said his name was "Little Jason". He cried. Big time. You spent the rest of the day cuddling from that point on, no he will not let you open the rest of your presents, no he will not let you eat-
"I can never understand this tradition but I have to admit..today was perfect."
Laughing Jack
• His understanding of the holiday season was even worse than Jason's, he's low-key terrified of how sickly nice you humans get.
• If you don't celebrate or like Christmas then Jack is genuinely happy, he absolutely hates it because of how uncomfortable it is for him so if you don't like it then he'll pretend he was looking forward to it or something to make you feel a little bad. Wait you're changing your mind because of what he said? ABORT MISSION, WRONG OUTCOME-
• If you do celebrate then he's reluctant to say the least, and oh LORD is he uncomfortable, he shows it less than Jason tho surprisingly. The lights are definitely his favorite part. Sitting cross legged on the floor with a cup of hot cocoa (EXTRA MARSHMALLOWS OFC) watching you wrap the tree in strands of lights and garland, putting on some ornaments before plugging it all in, you let him place the star on top and he's curious why you humans even do this stuff until you finally plug it in and boy do his eyes light up in wonder. The lights remind him of the carnival, they make him somehow feel more at home.
• He's absolutely terrified of the snow. Without a doubt. Will cling to you like a sloth and considering he's mainly all fabric(skinny minnie) he can do this with ease. No he will not step down! Do you know what is in that stuff!? Lowkey germaphobe action going on. When you eventually detach him from your body he will initially scream like a banshee until he realizes the fact HE'S MAINLY ALL FABRIC and cannot feel the cold and then he's ROLLING around. And then you have to drag him inside as he's so filled with water he can't stand because would you look at that HE'S MAINLY ALL FABRIC. Will deny his childish behavior at a later point in time. Every year he swears he will never step foot in the snow, goes in the snow, loves the snow, remembers why he can't go in the snow as you have him hanging from a clothes hanger in front of the fireplace, swears he will remember why he doesn't go in the snow this time, forgets, rinse and repeat-
• He pretends as if he couldn't care less about gift giving but is secretly stressing over what to get you and obsessing over what you might've gotten him. It is nothing but panic attack after panic attack so PLEASE GIVE THIS BBY A HUG.
• Yes he has a human disguise and you will very rarely see it if ever as he has a personal hatred for It, yes he may be ugly but to him his human form is horrendous. You might only see him like this if you're both shopping in the same place for gifts and he will immediately hide.
• It's time to open the presents, he gave you something so thought over and preplanned and oh you can't imagine what he spent on it but...you gave him a little hand made plushie of him....it's all tears from that point on. He will not stop crying. I mean that. He will never talk about it after the fact but in the moments he doesn't act like a little asshole he's sobbing and holding on to you as if you were the last good thing in his life. Which you are.
"Why...me...you're too perfect...thank you. Ugh fuck you and your shitty holiday for being so sweet and making me cry! Asshole....mine.."
Candy Pop
• They have been around for quite a long time, he is technically the eldest of the three as nobody really knows when Candy and Caney(Candy Cane/his sister/twin/other half thingy-) were created nor who created them, so they are well aware of the holidays and boy does he enjoy it!
• If you don't celebrate then nothing will be affected, he's happy when you're happy, he still will try and make it an amazing winter for the both of you, planning activities for every day so you're never bored and making sure that you NEVER feel bad about your decision to not celebrate Christmas and that you know he's very happy either way.
• If you do celebrate then it's time for DECK THE HALLS WITH EVERYTHING-YOU-CAN-FUCKING-FIND FALALALALA LALALALA! Your house/apartment/cardboard box will look like Santa fucking exploded and the elves threw up at the sight. This man has had YEARS of experience with this holiday so you betcha they're bringing it out all at once. He will be the one dragging you around hun, face it.
• If Candy was obsessive over your safety before then let's just say it's worse now, bundles upon bundles of clothing so you don't get sick but it's kinda hard to move- And you are not leaving his side. At all. Possibly ever-
• Oh boy is this man a GOD at the Christmas festivities, you have no idea how the gingerbread house is so easy for him, and they somehow can make igloos, LIKE HOW!?
• Ugly sweaters. Ugly sweaters. Ugly sweaters. Ugly sweaters. Ugly sweaters. U G L Y S W E A T E R S.
• He loves walking around in their human form, it's almost as flashy as his regular self, and they loveeeeee doing winter activities like skiing and riding in a sleigh. He is a daredevil and thrill seeker at heart and is SHOWS during Christmas time.
• Present time! Boy did they get you a literal TON of presents, so much it was overwhelming, and honestly he was having more fun while you opened them then you were! He opened his present and found the small plush doll made in their image, by you..yeah he's never leaving it anywhere, it goes with them anywhere and everywhere and if it ever gets destroyed or lost you will have to deal with depresso espresso.
"Awww you're too sweet sugar bell! I'll cherish this just like I cherish you, forever."
POLY Special
Christmas eve.
Most stores are closed, especially since it's later in the day, you're driving home from one having had to get last minute presents. You left the guys home to bake and decorate, you don't even want to think of the chaos that's going on back at home right now. You drive through the empty streets, no more traffic as everyone has reached their holiday destinations already. You sigh, taking in a deep breath and enjoying the smell of the snow as you drive through the Christmas eve serenity. Not even the children are out getting into trouble as none of them want to miss their presents in the morning.
You pull into your driveway and you can immediately see your boys in their human forms fighting in the kitchen window, flour and colored sugar flying everywhere, Candy annoying Jack and getting food thrown at him, Jack just about ready to throw the island at him if he doesn't shut up and Jason on his god-only-knows-what-number cup of coffee. You can't help but break out laughing, yes Christmas may be that peace you had on the drive home but Christmas is also this mess you call a family and sorry not sorry you'll take your idiots any day over stupid peace.
You head inside and can hear the blasting Christmas music, your house looks like Christmas exploded and you don't mind one bit. You hang up your coat and glance into the living room, the tree glistening as four stockings hang by the fireplace, each one very much a display of their owner, Jason's is classy and elegant, yours is old fashioned and classic, Jack's is simple and basic and Candy's looks like an ugly sweater- You smile, turning to walk into the kitchen, the second you step in the room you're off your feet, Candy behind you with his arms around your waist.
"GUMDROP YOU'RE HOME!! How was your day out? Did you get everything you needed? Were you safe? Was anyone mean to you!?" he rambles on as Jason clears his throat "One thing at a time Candy. You're rambling again." Candy FINALLY puts you down "Oopsie! Sorry!" he chuckles as he suddenly sees Jack doing something incorrectly and starts yelling directions "I'M NOT FUCKING DEAF YOU NEON BASTARD!!" as they start fighting again and Jason sighs and leans back on the counter you laugh again and lean against Jason.
This. This is Christmas right here.
OMG THIS LEGIT TOOK ME LIKE A WEEK- I've had this request since earlier into December but on top of not seeing it at first I am going through MAJOR writers block so tagging the current time I'm writing this it's actually 8:30am on Christmas eve but for you guys this should release at midnight or around it. Please let me know if you enjoy this by supporting and feel free to let me know if you would like to be on the Carnival trio taglist. THANK YOU SO MUCH 🤡ANON FOR RETURNING WITH ANOTHER BANGER REQUEST!! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS, KEEP IT CREEPY MY GREMLINS, HOHOHO! -Creepz
@sketchist-art
@organs-web
#creepypasta#fanfic#creepypasta au#don't like don't interact#don't like don't read#accepting requests#asks open#pls reblog#christmas#headcanons#fluff#jason the toymaker#laughing jack#candy pop#creepypasta candy pop#creepypasta laughing jack#creepypasta jason the toymaker#jason the toymaker x reader#laughing jack x reader#candy pop x reader#creepypasta x reader#x reader#christmas special
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Prank 🕷️
gwen and miles convince you to help distract Miguel so they can set up yet another prank but there's an unexpected plot twist
w/c: 4K
pairing: miguel o’hara x f!reader
tags: fluffy, no smut soz, cute, soft spot for you, completely oblivious to his feelings for you, you like him, plot twist
part one
"Hey Y/n c'mere real quick!!" Gwen yells as I walk into the cafeteria and head on over to her and Miles.
"What's up guys?" I ask and plop down next to them noticing some boxes on top of the table they were chilling by.
"We thought of a funny prank to do on Miguel....." Miles starts to say as Gwen smiles.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It was only a week since they pulled off their last prank on him, with a tiny bit of my help.... I open my eyes and look at them. "Of course you guys did," I start to say and laugh then put on a straight face, "no"
"But Y/n-" Gwen chimes in but I wasn't having it.
"NO- I'm one of the people he can barely tolerate and even now a tiny bit less so if I help again he's gonna actually be mad at me- and for all we know he might be mad as we speak!" I say and shake my head.
"He'll be more more mad at us!! You just gotta distract him for us while we set it up..." Gwen says and makes pleading eyes at me.
"I don't know...."
"Pleaseeee" she says pulling her best puppy dog eyes and nudges Miles' side to do the same.
"I am not doing the eyes-" he mutters and she nudges him again harder.
"Please Y/n- I'm doing this against my wi-" He starts to "plead" but then Gwen covers his mouth and grins at me.
I roll my eyes and shake my head, "He got so annoyed at us last time!!"
"Last time was so harmless though-" Gwen starts to say but I interrupt.
"And this one won't be??" I question and laugh.
"Not what I meant- but look this one is something nice for him-" Gwen starts to explain but I shake my head.
"You guys giving Miguel a nice prank? Miguel O'Hara?" I raise an eyebrow at Gwen then look at Miles.
"In what world-" i start to say but Gwen holds a finger up.
"We felt bad that he got upset last time so we thought we'd make it up to him..." she says slowly and I sigh.
I look at them both and roll my eyes. "Fine but you owe me." I say already regretting my decision.
"YES!!! Thank you!!!!! I promise you won't regret this!" Gwen says excitedly.
"So distract him how?" I ask raising an eyebrow.
"Well I was hoping you'd think of something....." she says and bites her lip.
"Now Gwen-"
"You literally have to do the easiest part!! I mean how hard can it be to distract him...." She says and gives Miles a look.
"I guess I have no choice but to wing it..." I reply and chuckle.
She nods and motions for me to go. "Oh you meant like NOW?" I laugh and shake my head. Crazy.
"Yes now go! We need like an hour or so, good luck!" Gwen says and waves me off.
I wave at them and walk out of the cafeteria. Sneaking one more glance at them and they're whispering and laughing while opening one of the boxes. What did I get myself into?
I sigh as I walk the halls of HQ and heading to Miguel's office. Now the thing about Miguel is he's a very sarcastic, sometimes cold, very angry man. I somehow ended up kind of befriending him by just being nice to him. It wasn't a hard thing to do, I've always been kind to those around me.
Thinking I started on the wrong foot on my first day when I bumped into him like a dumbass but he didn't care. I slowly was gaining his trust and he started opening up to me, he started letting me hang in his office, I'd bring him extra food, we'd be conversing a lot which apparently shocked the other spider people.
I didn't question it, just assumed maybe he wanted a friend, someone he can be normal with. I didn't wanna accidentally read the situation wrong so I just make sure to be there for him when I can.
Although after spending that much time with him it had played with my mind a lot and I only recently started looking at him differently. Feeling something more than what you do with friends, but still I kept it friendly and tried to push those thoughts away even though I couldn't throw the butterflies in my stomach away.
And even with last week's prank he wasn't that cold towards me, he was still civil. Somewhat...
But even then it wouldn't be odd of me to go to his office, I usually visit him anyway and he doesn't really care unless he's in a mood, though he's never exactly rude to me.... But for the sake of allll of us I hope he's chill today.
I made it outside his office and I peep through the window and he's looking at his screens. I open the door as quietly as I can only to be met with his screams at the screens. So he definitely didn't hear me.
I quietly close the door and lean against the wall. He's swiping along muttering swears in English and Spanish and I widen my eyes. Then he turns around to look me right in the eye and snarls, "You're breathing loud Y/n, what do you need?"
Before quickly turning back and muttering, "Chingdada madre-" (mother fucker)
I cover my mouth to hide my laughter and shake my head. I'm fucking breathing loud??? They owe me big time.
"Be nice Miguelito, I just came to... check up on you.." I say and walk up to him.
He turns back around to me quickly pressing a button on his watch to remove his mask, and scoffs. "Check up on me? Oh so now I need hawk eyes all over me at all times? People are always coming in and out asking if I'm okay, if I need help, and I am tired of it. Do I look like I need help?!?"
I bite my lip to keep me from laughing and give him a knowing look. He sighs and turns back to his screens. "I'm getting exasperated. Why do you do it? I'm shocked you aren't sick of coming in daily. I know you're one of the very few who is around me a lot and surprisingly always in good moods, but how do you do it?"
He turns back to face me and crosses his arms "Oye nomas quiero ser buena amiga." I say and laugh sitting on a chair in front of him. (I just wanna be a good friend)
"And I don't know maybe y'know because that's what friends do..... plus i don't like seeing that vein on your neck that looks like it's gonna pop when you're mad. It is not a pretty sight.." I say shaking my head and jokingly shiver.
"That's what friends do, huh? Well, lucky me, then." He says sarcastically making me roll my eyes before he continues.
"That vein is what makes me. So maybe if everyone could leave me be sometimes, that'd be juuuuust perfect. And it won't ever explode." He says and I cover my mouth to not laugh.
"You're acting as if you hate my company. I'm one of the only people you can tolerate." I tease and laugh again. "And not just that one, also the one on your forehead, you could see that one from a mile away on special occasions." I snicker then cover my mouth with my hand. "and hey I never have your vein like that!"
He rolls his eyes, groaning. "Oh, really, never?" He teases. "Are you sure about that?" I stick my middle finger up at him earning me a glare.
"But you're one of the only ones who don't drive me completely insane whenever I see you, that much I'll admit to." He says raising an eyebrow at me.
"Yes I'm sure because otherwise you would've kicked me out, thrown something at me, or wouldn't have let me even take a step close to you." i say with a laugh spinning on the chair. "And awww que amable eres Miggy." I tease and smile. (How nice of you)
He chuckles, and when he speaks, it sounds like he's joking and being sarcastic, "Maybe the reason why I'm so calm around you compared to everyone else, is because I'm secretly love with you, or have a crush on you." I nervously chuckle and shrug, huh?
this man is so random...
He laughs again, and then he stops, he looks more serious. "No, but seriously, you're right, you don't make me want to rip my hair out. I'm not saying we're best friends or anything... but you're at least tolerable."
"Now that would be such a plot twist." I say and let out a nervous laugh. "I'm offended you don't think we are best friends but y'know what, we could get there." I reply with a genuine smile.
"I'm actually a really good guy deep down. I'm only really harsh and nasty to the ones who deserve it." He says with a shrug. "If someone cross the line, it's not my fault for having a bad attitude, it's their fault for making it happen." He says and I shake my head.
"And hey if you haven't noticed it already, I tend to be a very, very stubborn man." He says and I bite my lip. "VERY deep down." I joke making him roll his eyes. I gasp and widen my eyes, "and noooo really? I had no idea." I say sarcastically with a little smirk on my lips making him roll his eyes.
He crosses his arms and looks away. After a few seconds, he turns back to me, and his expression is different. "Why are you here, anyways?" He asks, sounding curious rather than angry. "I know the official reason is to check up on me, but what's the unofficial reason, hm?"
I bite the inside of my cheek and shake my head. Shit. "Unofficial reason? What are you on about?" I say and chuckle. Don't panic don't panic.
"Oh, come on, I'm not that blind. You're here for more than just checking up on me." He folds his arms and has a straight face. "Well, I'm all ears, 'm waiting. Spill it."
His voice sounds like it's a mix between annoyed and teasing, but more of the second than the first. Why does he know me so well???
Then I think of the perfect excuse. "Well I was kinda hoping you would tell me... two little birdies told me to come up for some reason and wouldn't stop giggling." I say letting out a chuckle.
Not a complete lie.
He looks at me, his eyes widening slightly before he lets out a short laugh. "Those fools are up to something, aren't they?" He snickers. "And I'm assuming they didn't tell you what it was?"
"Wait- I thought you would know." I say and shake my head laughing. Thank god he bought it.
"You think I know? There's not a single fucking clue in my mind of what those little gremlins are up to at any given time. They could be pranking someone, pulling the strings behind some kind of elaborate scheme, or planning my downfall. Honestly, who knows?" He says then groans.
I burst out laughing and smile. Too bad he knows them well enough too. "Or potentially all of the above." I say and laugh when a phone rings.
I pull mine out of the pocket of my suit and it wasn't it so I look up at him. He looks back seeing his phone on his desk and shrugs. "Do not tell me they planted a phone in here somewhere to be obnoxious-" he starts to say and I feel a buzzing on the jacket I had on, I widen my eyes and gasp. There it was. HOW THE FUCK????
I take it out and scoff. Those little shits- I answer the phone and scoff. "What are you guys scheming huh?" I ask now completely confused considering I didn't even notice them slip it in.
"Come on down to the cafeteria now!!" Gwen says with a little giggle. "And with Miguel!!" She quickly says before hanging up leaving me speechless.
What the fuck.
Then I look up at Miguel and he looks at me dumbfounded. He takes a step forward and points a finger at me. "Let me find out you were lying to me-"
"I didn't even know the phone was there!!!" I say and shake my head laughing. Sneaky fuckers.
"Well we gotta go to the cafeteria so let's go." I say walking towards the door and motion for him to come.
He groans and soon follows. "If it's anything sticky or stupid-"
"You'll yell at them?" I finish and he shakes his head.
"Oh I could do much worse than just yell-" he says and the protective older sister came out.
"Miguel!!"
"What? They're beyond irritating." He says and lifts his hand up in defense with a smirk.
"They're just kids. Don't tell me you're scared of teenagers....." I tease and nudge him.
He rolls his eyes at me and we continue walking towards the cafeteria. "They're harmless pranks anyway. At least the ones they pull on me... I can imagine they might vary though..." I say and bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
"What's the worst they've done to you?" He asks looking at me raising an eyebrow.
"I think switch up the salt for sugar. My tacos didn't deserve that treatment." I say and laugh.
He scoffs and rolls his eyes making me snicker. "Do I wanna ask?" I say looking up at him.
"I'll tell you, two days ago, esos cabrones me hecharon salsa tan caliente en mi agua, en frente de mi." He says and I smack my hand on my mouth about to burst out laughing and he gives me a glare. (Those fucks put some extremely hot hot sauce in my water in front of me)
"What do you mean in front of you??? You didn't see the color change???? Or hell- THEM? " I ask before covering my mouth again feeling my stomach hurt because I'm not letting the laughter out.
"I wish I knew how they did it, they're sneaky, quiet, like actual fucking spiders because I didn't hear them but I was just in the office and I took a sip and boom my whole face is red in seconds." He says annoyed making me widen my eyes.
"Did you swallow???!?!" I say finally bursting out of laughter and he glared harder but then looks away.
I gasp and cackle. "Estas ciego?" I ask teasingly and he growls. (Are you blind?)
"Shut up."
I lift my hands up in defense and laugh. "At least it wasn't poison." I say and snicker.
He nudges me but harder than I did it and I laugh harder. "You know what you're right, at least they didn't kill me." He says looking at me and rolled his eyes.
I giggle shaking my head as we walk into the cafeteria and I widen my eyes, my mouth falls open. Oh my fucking god.
I blink and cover my mouth suddenly feeling a flush suddenly creep onto my cheeks. They set up a fucking candlelit dinner for two in the middle of the cafeteria. Was I- was I set up????
I step closer to the table and see Miles and Gwen in waiter suits behind some decorations they set up. I look at them absolutely shocked and they just have little smirks on their faces. I then raise my eyebrows at them and look at Miguel behind me and he's holding two wine glasses with a small smile on his face. "YOURE FUCKING LYING-" I scream hiding my now flushed face and bursting out laughing.
I felt my face turn red, and I was unsure if it was from embarrassment or the fact that I didn't mind it.... I calmed myself down and just stared at everything with a shocked expression.
"Th- this was a prank on ME?" I say laughing and shaking my head.
There is no way......
He smirks and nods. I cover my face and wipe the tears that were falling out from laughing so hard. I turn to look at Gwen and Miles and shake my head. "You two owe me a HUGE favor." I say, playfully glaring at them.
They laugh and Gwen motions for me to take her arm so I grab it and she escorts me to one of the chairs making me grin while Miles just stands up there getting the bottle of wine trying to open it. I bite my lip watching him struggle a bit and Miguel turns his attention from looking at my reaction to Miles. "Oh my god- Miles give me that-"
Miles puts a hand up and waves him off to sit down. Miguel hesitantly sits down across from me but doesn't take his eyes off him. "Did you not get the corkscrew???" He growls and runs a hand over his hair looking stressed as hell.
I laugh and cover my face shaking my head. "No lo quiebres cabron-" he says standing up to grab the bottle from him. (Don't break it bitch)
Miles lets him get it and looks at Gwen who widens her eyes at him. He makes a face back and I turn to look back at Miguel who somehow popped it with his bare hands. Obviously this man is jacked but a cork???
I chuckle and shake my head. He looks back to me and smiles, sitting back down. He serves us both a glass and I happily take the glass from him, taking a sip. "So how did this come to be?" I ask curiously taking turns looking at the three of them.
"Can't say I'm shocked, about these two," I say nothing towards Miles and Gwen before turning back to look at Miguel, "how did you get involved? And why this?" I ask and cross my arms over my chest now looking at all of them.
Miles and Gwen both turn to look at Miguel, I look at him raising an eyebrow, when he speaks, "it was my idea."
"What-"
"I'm gonna be honest with you alright? But I just- I need you to hear me out." He says nervously and I nod.
He then looks over at Miles and Gwen and motions for them to leave which they do, walking over to the kitchen before Gwen gives me a sly wink when Miguel turned to look at me. I bite my lip and look back at him, his eyes looking so sincere and I was just appalled. My stomach felt like it was flipping in circles and I was getting a little nervous myself.
"Over the past few months... I've felt myself open up to you, a lot. I usually don't do that but with you it felt like I could just relax and not have to worry so much and just be myself with you." He explains and I feel my heart racing. Oh my god-
I gulp my nerves down and nod as he continues, "You give me a sense of normality and tranquility in this place and I haven't had that in a long time. You've barely been here six months and I feel like you've changed the way I view things, and how I act towards others. You've changed me for the better." He says then lets out a deep breath, his hands slightly shaking against the table.
"I- I think- no-" he stutters and then takes another deep breath and leans forward still looking deeply into my eyes. "I've grown to like you... a lot... and more than just friends."
I felt my heart race and I bite my lip to try to hide my smile from appearing so quickly. Miguel O'Hara likes me?
I was speechless, I couldn't believe the words just came out of his mouth- I didn't think he, of all people here, would think of me that way.... It made my heart flutter knowing he likes me back and suddenly it clicked, that's why he's been so open to me.
He looked at my face carefully, probably to see if he'd make me uncomfortable at all, but he continued, "so I thought this would be a... alright idea for me to uh admit this to you." He says now looking away from me as I take notice of his pink cheeks. Holy shit-
"Well I'm really glad that I was able to help you, I guess I understand why everyone was shocked when you let me in." I say and chuckle, I continue looking at him as he looked off to the side.
I take a deep breath and smile, "I like you too." I say and his face perks up.
"I've really enjoyed spending time with you, and having all kinds of conversations together. I didn't really want to assume you liked me back, I didn't wanna seem cocky or anything, or accidentally cross a line I wasn't meant to-"
He cuts my rambling off by looking up at me and reaching over to softly grab my hands, rubbing his thumb gently on my skin. I bite my lip and hold his hands back. "So let's have this be our first date, yeah?" He says softly and I nod, giving him a wide smile making him return it back.
Suddenly I hear the sounds of giggles and I didn't need my spidey senses to tell me where it came from. "Alright you guys can come in." Miguel shouts out and instantly the sounds of their footsteps are heard.
They run up to us with Gwen carrying a tray and Miles smiles at me. I smile at them both as I hear Miguel sigh, I turn to him and he gives me a soft smile. Suddenly Gwen is putting down the tray of a very clearly homemade pizza in a decent shaped heart. "Thank you madam." I say and she winks.
She set me up. She and Jess are the only ones who have known my true feelings for Miguel..... I doubt she'd told him, but that's why she knew I would be cool with this. So sneaky...
"You're a real one Gwen." I whisper to her and she mouths 'I know' as she takes a step back to stand next to Miles.
They both whisper to each other as I turn to look at Miguel and realize we were still holding hands. I couldn't help the rising heat on my face, I'd never been one to confess my feelings like that, for anyone, ever. Maybe he changed me a bit too...
I squeeze his hands making him grin and I hear the snap of a picture, or multiple actually. He closed his eyes and breathed in, "Miguel it's fine." I say and smile at Gwen who was holding up her phone.
'Send me them later' I mouth to her and she excitedly nods. "Alright thank you guys for your help-" Miguel starts but Miles cuts him off.
"Wait you're not gonna let us join you-"
"No-"
"We're kinda hungry man-"
"I don't care-"
"Malo." Miles mutters and Miguel lifted a hand up probably to throw something at him, and I reached over and intertwined our fingers together. (Bad)
He looked back at me and let out a deep breath, rubbing his thumb on my skin again. His chest was no longer heaving and his breathing was steady. "It's fine." I whisper and he sighs.
He nods and gives me a small smile, almost like a little thank you. I return it back and grin until Miles decided to speak up again, "No fucking way you calmed down the beast-"
"That's fucking it-" Miguel says and letting go of my hands to stand up and quickly stormed over to Miles who made a run for it as soon as he heard Miguel speak.
I roll my eyes and watch as Miguel began to chase after Miles all over the cafeteria. Gwen sat down across from me and looked down at the pizza, I sigh and nod. She gives me a grin and instantly takes a piece, I follow her lead and grab one as well while we watched the free entertainment in front of us.
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