#opm fic

[rants-about-opm]

Jealous

-Trade Fic for the splendid @the-little-guru . The prompt was Badd's cat getting jealous of him spending more time with Garou.-

“Just pet her, you'll be fine."

Garou narrows his glinting eyes at the grumpy ball of fur occupying Badd's lap. Tama returns the disinterested glare, almost daring him to try. He barely lifts his hand before her whole body puffs up like a marshmallow, and she growls low in her throat. Almost on instinct Garou growls back.

"If your little rat bites me, I'm tossing her to the moon."

Badd frowns, adding a second pair of eyes staring Garou down. Privately he wonders if that trademark glare runs in the family.

"You realize that if you two don't get along I'm choosing her over you?"

Garou blinks lazily and shrugs, but he's actually quite miffed about it. This whole 'getting to know people' and 'making connections' thing was hard enough without being cucked by a damn cat. She's already purring as Badd rubs just behind her ears, her half lidded eyes watching Garou, like she's trying to mock him.

"Why couldn't you own a mantis or something?" Garou mutters. "So much easier to deal with."

Badd is only half paying attention, cooing nonsense to Tama.

"Tama's just jealous. Once she gets used to you being here, it'll get easier."

"This is the first time you've invited me to your house, and I've been here six minutes. How is she gonna get used to me?"

Badd glances up at him with a smirk.

"Cuz you're gonna keep coming over, smartass."

Oh.

Garou huffs and turns away, picking at a loose thread on his pants.

Suddenly an 8 pound ball of anger is dropped in his lap.

He tenses up as claws dig into his legs and Tama yowls, eyes wide and locked with his.

"Badd." Garou hisses.

He doesn't break eye contact to look at Badd, but he hears snickering.

"Badd, call off your damn bloodhound."

Tama leaps away, scuttling across the couch to go sit behind Badd.

"Worth a shot." He grins, ignoring Garou's death stare. "You want a coke?"

Garou stops glaring. He suddenly isn't mad anymore.

Rolling his eyes, Badd gets up and starts walking to the kitchen. Garou stands up to follow, only for Tama to dart off the couch and trail behind Badd possessively, sitting at the entrance to the kitchen to keep anyone else from coming in.

"Forget being the ultimate evil." Garou grumbles to himself. "I think she has me beat."

Unable to do something as boring as sit on the couch waiting for Badd to come back, Garou starts pacing. His fingers are already tapping against his leg impatiently, and he’s considering just leaving. Badd already said he would choose Tama over him, so why bother? There’s other people he’s kicked the shit out of before. Although, they might not be as willing to forgive him. Plus Badd was way more worth his time.

“I guess I’m stuck with him.” Garou sighs.

Shoving his hands in his pocket, he scanned the apartment for something interesting to occupy himself with.

He didn’t have to search long.

"You know, you can be really mean sometimes." Badd murmurs to Tama.

Taking two sodas out of the fridge, he sets them on the counter and reaches down to scratch beneath the little cat's chin. She purrs immediately, turning her head to allow better access.

“He’s a lot like you, you know. A stubborn, clingy bastard. No offense of course.”

Suddenly, Tama’s eyes seem to narrow, and she makes a weird noise, scurrying away.

"Tama?" 

Taking the sodas, Badd follows her, planning to hand off the drinks to Garou before going to see what she's up to, but Garou isn't on the couch. Badd stops, blinking in confusion. He cranes back to look down the hallway to the front door, but Garou isn't there either, and he would have heard the door shut if he had already left. 

Tama meows again from the opposite corner of the living room

Badd looks to where she's sitting in front of the cat tree, and follows her line of sight up to see...

"Garou, the fuck are you doing on my god damn cat tree?"

Yeah, the idiot is perched on the top of the tree, smirking down at Tama as she meows loudly at him.

"Cry about it, furball." He chuckles.

Badd sighs deeply, closing his eyes and counting backwards from ten like Zenko always tells him to do. His hand twitches, aching for his bat.

"If you break my two-hundred dollar furniture, I'm going to kick your ass."

Garou shrugs.

"I don't know why you paid that much when you could have just gotten a box or something, cats love that crap. Besides, if she's gonna hoard something I want, two can play at that game."

"Oh, you want me?" Badd replies, grinning smugly.

Garou's wide eyes snap up to look at him, his expression blank. Badd can practically see the gears screeching to a halt in his head.

"I have no idea what you're on about." Garou says flatly.

Badd crosses his arms.

"You're trying to make my cat jealous." He smirks. "Because you want me."

A moment of silence passes between them.

Garou hops off the cat tree, taking a soda from Badd and walking past him.

"I'm leaving."

"You want me."

"I'm never coming back."

"You're jealous that I pet her head and not yours!"

"Go jump off a cliff!"

Badd hears the front door slam, and laughs, turning to Tama.

"I'm so sorry, little miss prissy pants, but I can't *not* fuck him."

He turns to go upstairs, and freezes.

Zenko is standing on the bottom step in her pajamas, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. 

She looks back and forth between him and the door. She tilts her head judgmentally.

"Was that the weird goblin that tried to kill you?"

[villainous-ace]

Office AU - Saitama x Genos

(Aged up characters)

Saitama, 35 year old office drone at a large corperate company. After working for 10 years he's only managing to be promoted to TL (team leader) of his department; co-workers and higher-ups taking advantage of his position to steal his accomplishments and push him down the ladder. Plus! losing all his hair at 25 and everything else he's just gone numb.

As he contemplates turning in his resignation for the umpteenth time for the day(though he doesn't have any slush funds to depend on). Enter high energy and serious 29 years young upstart Genos, a employee sent over from another branch after supposedly causing some tension in the other branch due to his attitude and un-bending and robotic like personality.

Desite being over qualified hes been handed off to Saitamas department. How troublesome. Saitama has no idea how to handle over serious passionate types, but whats even more troublesome...

is how embarrassing this guys praises and compliments are!!!!

It doesn't seem to matter how mundane or simple his instructions or advice is, this Genos guy acts like he's imparted some sort of great wisdom. He's even taken upon himself to start looking after him at work, bringing him lunch and all sorts of other unnecessary like he's a personal assistant.... or as his annoying coworkers like to put it.. his WIFE.

Poor disgruntled Saitama can't seem to catch a break, maybe he really should just resign

[roktavor]

Written for the 'lifted by the neck' square on my @badthingshappenbingo card.

Rating: T Words: 4.9k Pairing: Batarou Summary: (AU) After an especially violent, disappointing bout in the fighting ring, Badd goes home to Garou - who offers more comfort than expected.

[card progress under the cut]

[themisterhip]

"Let me worship you..."

Fanart inspired by this fanfic (NSFW) made by @theomnicode (READ IT, IS AMAZING ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)) Also hey, I'm not dead :D (read the notes for info) Have a hot sneak peak:

[tawus]

Me: "I'm reading One Punch Man manga for the engaging plot, the intentional and thinly veiled derision of the hero-villain dichotomy, the fast-paced action, wholesome comedy, and Murata's god-tier art style"

The engaging plot, the intentional and thinly veiled derision of the hero-villain dichotomy, the fast-paced action, wholesome comedy, and Murata's god-tier art style:

[vmppiz]

⠀ ⠀

(First post)

ᰔ ೄྀᯓ

✰ 𝑺𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒎𝒂┆

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⏤͟͟͞͞ Headcanons

​𓆩 Saitama feels like the type that wouldn't know you'd be in love with him, or acknowledge it himself, hes oblivious, the only way he'd know is if you'd told him; we never see him ever have a crush but we have seen him get "jealous" at how Geno's has more fans than him but he usually dismisses it and says that's it's fine.

𓆩 maybe in the past, he was a bit more expressive about love not physically but definitely in his head he had a lot more thoughts rolling around in that head of his before becoming depressed/numb.

𓆩 I don't think him having a lover would exactly pull him out of the state he is in now, but some of his feelings would change maybe just not realize it at first, when with him sometimes youd think if he even cares.

𓆩 he DOES NOT spoil oh boy is he a broke boy 😭 I doubt hes one to pamper, maybe he tries but it's always something small probably picked those small flowers you see growing around grass.

𓆩 he definitely wants to go slow, he'd probably only like someone if he knew them well enough; he doesn't like to go head first he's not like that, he'd probably be nervous about it too.

𓆩 most affection that he receives from you despite being in a relationship would come to a surprises, it's not that he doesn't like it he's just not used to it.

𓆩 he wouldnt know how to comfort you not saying that he wouldnt try, maybe, just he's not good at it with the whole never being in a relationship thing.

𓆩 he loves going on walks with you, or going to the store to see what is on sale when he's out of the house he doesn't feel so bored and actually shows signs of happiness out with you.

𓆩 he's blunt asf anything that comes out of his mouth is exactly what he means but if it's something that hurts you he instantly says sorry not meaning to hurt you.

𓆩 loves to lay on your lap and loves to cuddle up with you under the covers, just hope he doesn't crush you ruh roh

𓆩 at first his affection is a little hard to show but through time he gradually starts to show it a bit more. (I'm delusional)

𓆩 loves to play with your hair unintentionally, your laying next to him next thing you know he's feeling your hair between his fingers.

NSFW:

𓆩 I feel like he wouldn't be the dominate one but I also don't think he'd go over board with being submissive just enough where he doesn't hurt you with how strong he is. (Maybi switch, can see him being a little Dom)

𓆩 he wants so much appreciation, once he's comfortable enough and gives you consent (definitely thinks consent is hot) his feelings would complicate since hes never felt love before he would feel himself melt in your arms with your praise.

𓆩 maybe is a bit out of character but I can see him aiming at your breast the most when you both decide to have s3x, loves nipple play and will suck on them, tell you how good your breast are how soft and squishy they are to touch.

𓆩 s3x would probably pull him out of his depression but it wouldn't make him s3x hungry he'd just feel that rush he'd been yearning for except it's not in the form of a fight.

𓆩 he'd be nervous to show you his junk, tell you to stop before you could spring it out, a little scared you'd judge him.

𓆩 when it comes to the sounds he produces it's probably a lot of groaning he definitely tries not to be too loud let's out a few whimpers and moans here and there.

𓆩 hes fine with trying new things as long as they aren't overboard.

𓆩 secretly loves bondage !! And just loves it when you sit on his face; definitely breaks out of the rope just to grab a hold of you and taste you so much more.

𓆩 loves spreading you open when he gets the chance to and loves your p̶u̶22y̶ endlessly.

۵ .

[villainous-ace]

This is definitely going to influence my fics from now on

Thank you for the food 🙏

I haven't read Dark Matter but I have it tabbed

Do you have any head cannons for Boros' backstory? Like how his childhood was on his home planet or how he got so much power?

WELL

Yes, I have a few. Thanks sm for asking

He was born in a lab. His people have very strong regenerative abilities, so some decided to conduct experiments on living subjects, both their own and others. Their goal was to make the ultimate powerful creature. They more or less succeeded, but not with their own species. An octopus like creature with telekinetic powers. That creature, named Geryuganshoop, grew too strong and broke out of the lab, destroying and killing everyone in the process. With him, there was another test subject, strong, but not as strong, but willing to help his friend along to escape. That was Boros. The two stole a ship and escaped from the planet. They were faced with many hardships and enemies, but Geryu was always there to protect them. Boros grew tired of relying on his friend to survive, and decided to become stronger. He trained and trained, learning from powerful masters across the galaxy. He sparred with Geryu constantly. Eventually he became stronger. Stronger than Geryu, than anyone in the Universe. In the process he and Geryu met others to travel with together, and they formed a group. Not abiding by the law, always traveling through space, stealing what they could from others, challenging whatever strong warriors they met. The group became bigger and bigger as Boros grew stronger, and they were now a feared pirate group known to most of the people of the Universe. Geryu was still his friend, his right hand man, as he ruled his pirate ship and laid waste on planet after planet. But as decades passed with no battles that would sate Boros’ lust, he became more and more depressed, distant. His relationship with his best friend was strained, now barely interacting outside of business. Then he hears of the prophecy, and sets course to Earth.

He was the strongest of his species, from the very start. The females of his species were generally much stronger, but he was an exception. In his youth, he was hot headed and cruel, seeking destruction and battles, challenging and killing everyone in his way. He was exiled before he was even an adult. He was sent off world on a small spaceship to die. He was in wild space, lost and on the verge of death, when he was found by a random explorer. They took him into civilization, and there, Boros learned to coexist with others. But he still craved for the excitement of a good fight, so he left with a few friends to travel the Universe to find warriors he could challenge. He became a pirate, the group becoming a huge organization spread across the Universe under his leadership.

He was the strongest of his species, from the very start. He united and ruled his planet, becoming a fierce leader. He grew bored eventually, and left to find other adventures. He meets the three warriors, he bests them all in battle. They follow him, and they recruit more strong beings, and form a pirate organization. Boros returns to his home planet from time to time, but is mostly traveling across the Galaxy to find a good fight.

These are the few I have for now, but I have to mention a certain backstory made by not me, but my friend, @lara60

Boros escapes from his oppressive home planet, and meets a band of pirates that take him in. He grows stronger and stronger, facing the challenges he and his friends face in their adventures across the Universe. This is an ongoing story on AO3, it updates every two weeks. It is my FAVORITE fic, period. The storyline is insane. It is so entertaining, engaging, and thrilling. There’s a whole ensemble of OCs that you’ll fall in love with as the story goes on. It is just too great. As of now, Boros is still not as strong as he is in canon, but he’s getting there, slowly but surely. And watching this young and naive Boros turn into the ruthless pirate lord we know from OPM is just an amazing experience.

Here’s the piece I drew for the one year anniversary of the fic

This story is my fav backstory for Boros. I can’t think of anything else other than this fic that I’d consider his canon origin story. It’s called Dark Matter and I’m currently VIBRATING IN MY SEAT waiting for chapter 32 to drop this Saturday. It just gets better and better with each chapter. If you ever get interested, check it out!

Thank you so much for sending this ask, it is as always a delight to talk about my favorite alien boi💜

[waterbottlqueen]

HEAVEN CAN WAIT

[suprababka]

"You're everything I could ever wish for"

Happy birthday to @zombiefox89 (@soulsheen)!🥳💝

I hope I didn't mess up with time zones and you receive my mini-surprise exactly on your birthday, not sooner nor later!

Dear Zombiefox, I highly hope you'll enjoy reading a small fanfiction I wrote for you (and for other Zombieman's stans too)💕

I know we got closer to each other only this summer, but I count you as my friend. Moreover, not just a friend, but my first online-friend from another country :D

I thank you with all my heart for every like and comment you leave under my post. Your support always means a lot, and I appreciate it!🤗

I wish you nothing but the best (as cheesy as it sounds), not to be overwhelmed by your work and to have more free time for your hobbies, to take nice fun walks with your dogs, to participate in exciting adventures with your friends in D&D world and, of course, to find and read new stories with your favourite man ;))))

Happy birthday!!!🙌🤗🫶✨💗🎉🎊

There are many things you love in your relationship with Zombieman (and about this man too). The way he looks, smiles, pays attention to every detail about you, supports you, surprises you with little gifts, gives you compliments... The way he loves and appreciates you.

He may come off as an emotionless person, but in reality, he cares a lot and is not ashamed of showing it. Though not anyone is "blessed" to see his affectionate side, only people who are close to him know how empathetic he is. For example, Child Emperor… and you. Especially you. The person who showed him he was able to love and, moreover, deserved to be loved.

That's something Zombieman will never take for granted. He cherishes every moment spent with you: watching a movie while cuddling on the sofa, running together under the rain, telling each other different stories before going to sleep, staring into your eyes and taking in all your beauty, cooking with you, or trying out different cafes. And today is no exception, as you're both sitting in the recently opened café.

"M-m, this looks amazing!" you exclaim vigorously, examining a large milkshake in front of you with whipped cream formed as a cat head.

Yes, you two decided to go to the cat-themed café. Usually Zombieman doesn't go to places like this since all he needs is a cup of coffee to go on with the life. But with you… something much more meaningful and energizing than coffee appears. It's your smile. The way the corners of your lips lift is a ticket straight to heaven for him. Really, he feels like nothing else matters. As long as you're happy, everything is fine. That's why the hero's main goal is to give you joy, to do anything in his power to make you laugh and beam.

While Zombieman is deep in his thoughts, you cheerfully tell him about your Friday and consume all of your drink in no time.

"Earth to my handsome boyfriend,"  you call out to him.

"Hm?"

"So you were not listening to me."

"Why? I was."

"Mm, sure. What was the last thing I said?"

"Well, 'What was the last thing I said', yeah?" he smirks, proud of his witty remark.

"Really funny and smart,"  you roll your eyes, making him chuckle and pat your head.

"I'm just messing with you, love. Though you're the one who does this in our relationship."

"Hehe, that's true. But I'm still waiting for your answer. Can't have my boyfriend slacking off now, can I?"

"Of course you can't. You were telling me about how hard your day was. I'm sorry everything went downhill, but what matters more is that you handled it. You did a great job, dear. I'm proud of you as always."

"Aw, thank you, honey! You're making me blush now."

"I wouldn't be a good boyfriend if I didn't flatter you, huh? But what I said was true."

"Of course it was,"  you kiss his cheek. "You know that I wouldn't want to be anywhere but with you right now."

"And that makes me happy. I feel the same way."

"Good, as you should do,"  you smirk. "Alright, let's get going, honey?"

"Yeah, let's head out."

It's already dark outside, and you two should probably go home, but you insist on taking a walk in the nearest park.

"There is a good spot to admire the sky,"  you reason, lifting up your finger and pointing to the appearing stars.

And of course Zombieman can't argue with you and accepts your offer, not that he minded it in the first place. Wrapping his arm around your shoulders, he begins walking with you. It doesn't take you long to reach the spot you were talking about. As both of you sit on the ground (the hero's arm is still wrapped around you to keep you warm), you notice that the sky is already full of different shining stars.

"Wow, so magnificent…" you comment; your voice sounds like you're hypnotized by the beauty of the view over you. That's quite understandable because Zombieman would act the same way as you do… if he wasn't already enamored by you, that is.

"Look! A falling star!" you suddenly exclaim, standing up and pointing at the sky. "Quick! Make a wish!"

Your boyfriend chuckles, amused by your enthusiasm, and stands up. He quickly glances at the star and returns his gaze back at you.

"You're everything I could ever wish for,"  the man says, patting your head. This makes you gasp and look at him with a flustered smile that Zombieman loves so much.

"B-baka! You can't just say things like that out of the blue!.."

"Oh, really? Didn't know there are specific circumstances to tell my girlfriend how I feel about her," as he finishes his words, you playfully jab his shoulder. "Ouch, what was that for?"

"For being a smartass. But just so you know… I feel the same way about you."

"And that makes the luckiest man in the world,"  he smiles, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer against his chest. "So, then what did you wish for?"

You place a finger on his lips, smirking, "I can't tell you. Otherwise it won't happen, you know?"

"Right, of course. Guess we will have to see, huh?" he smirks, tilting his head and capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. Little did both of you know that you made the same wish: to be together forever.

[the-daiz]

Imagine a crack fic which is literally... Puri-Puri's dating tips 🌚🌚🌚

"So, you want to know the secrets of picking up unsuspecting specimens?" A clink echoed in the sealed room as Puri-puri prisoner carefully lowered his teacup against the tiny plate cupped in his contrastingly large hand.

"That is not what I asked-"

"well, sure it was, you've got 'hopeless romantic' written all over you." He cut you short, his posture laid-back as if the interrogation room drew out no sense of panic or worry in him, a normal reaction you’d see on most— if not all your work hours.

You had been called in the late hours of a Wednesday night to interrogate the famous hero for another one of his infamous… incidents, if you will. The hero association granted him extra privileges, noting the finely crafted matching tea set with a plate of tiny sandwiches before him, in the interrogation room, and before you: the esteemed detective of this case.

You were almost positive that if he wanted to, he could slip past these allegations with a few pulled strings from the H.A., but, from what you’ve heard from your colleagues, the fine hero wanted to be judged fair and square for his crimes in the name of ‘justice’.

(your colleagues heard him mutter something about how ‘his lovely boys in prison must have missed him’)

You certainly had your work cut out for you tonight.

"Quite the assumption, Mr puri." You spoke firmly. "But let's focus on the matter at hand."

"Your single-ness?" He brought the teacup to his lips.

"Your crimes." You countered.

“Oh, I get it now!” He perks up slightly, his large build straightening as he peered down at you. “You need dating advice.” He leaned down a bit and winked.

“no-“

“You just got dumped, didn’t you?” He looked at you with something akin to sympathy.

“Mr. Puri. My personal matters do not concern this.” You said with an involuntary twitch of your lip.

“There’s no need to be ashamed. We’ve all been there.” He places the cup down and flashes a prideful smile along with a fiery flex of his triceps, causing his sleeves to rip to shreds. You covered your eyes and squinted as a bright light shone from him. “But don’t fret, you’ve come to the perfect lover-boy for advice!”

You blinked in disbelief. ‘Lover boy..?!’

“You’ve gotta take care of yourself, in general really. Making sure that your mentality is clear and confident, and is only emphasized further by your outward appearances, guarantees that your partner will stay head over heels for you.” He interjected anything meaningful you were about to say.

“People like confident lovers, not sulky ones, unless you’ve got one of those mentally ill partners— Stay away from those, they’ll ruin you.”

“You better maintain your shimmy too, make sure to maximize your assets.” He flexed his arms again, the exposed muscles bulging with veins. It made you grimace. “If nothing else works, you can always flash em’! Sometimes you’ve gotta show them what they’re missing out on.

“That much can be said about my dear boyfriends. They can be so silly at times. How adorable.” He let out a dreamy sigh and shook his head with a smile. You could’ve sworn you saw a few illusions of tiny pink hearts fluttering around him.

“right…” you coughed into your fist. “So about—“

“Don’t forget to love yourself, you can’t expect anyone to appreciate you if you can’t even appreciate yourself.” He winked, one hand pointing at you while the other rested over his chest.

“That’s real sweet.” You responded rigidly. Before you could attempt to stir the conversation back to the case, an alarm blared from outside, causing you to flinch.

“That’s my queue!” He shot up from his seat. “Better go make sure no cute boys get attacked by any monsters, that would be such a tragedy!”

“hey, wait! You can’t just—“

He busted through the door. Before he left, he turned to you with a charming smile.

“don’t forget: love is a battlefield, with strength and courage, and a bit of assets, you’ll be sure to win!” He gave you a thumbs-up, then he was gone before you could even process his words.

[rants-about-opm]

Hello OPM Artists!

I'm wanting to do a barter commission!

If you will draw something for me, I will write a fic for you! It doesn't have to be OPM related, it can be anything you would like.

Reply to this post/message me if you are interested, and I will dm you to discuss what I'm looking for and what you would like in return!

[villainous-ace]

Modern AU Genosai Fic Outline

Genos , [freshman college]:

An overly optimistic and straight laced student who, despite his serious nature has a pension for getting in trouble due to his unyielding personality and blunt way of speaking.

Is a engineering and robotics major.

Saitama, [Freeter]:

had no interest in college deciding to work odd jobs for needed cash, spends the majority of his time exercising,  reading manga watching anime, hanging out with his friend King, looking after the house and cutting coupons.

Plot outline:

After Genos gets himself tangled up with some delinquents on his way home from school Saitama steps in to help him (either on his way home from grocery shopping or maybe taking out garbage or something at his part time job) The scuffle ends with saitama winning but it results in his groceries being damaged and/or him getting fired. Genos feeling "indebted" to Saitama (but its very clear to the reader that hes infatuated by Saitama and wants and excuse to get close to him) ends up tracking him down desperate to repay him. After his persistence Saitama agrees to let the kid do some chores at his house. Friends to lovers ensues.

#pining #unrequented love #unrequented to mutual pining pipeline #idiots in love #god just go out already ect.

[euphress-fics]

Euphress Fics

Welcome to my blog <3 I'll be writing yandere x reader content, and taking asks/requests! Fandoms and other disclaimers under the cut.

I'm using this tumblr account as a way to write without having to start whole books. I typically use wattpad (under the user "euphress") but tumblr gives me the chance to write when I'm not feeling an entire story!

Fandoms I will write for:

My Hero Academia Hazbin Hotel Helluva Boss Scott Pilgrim VS The World One Punch Man Ouran Highschool Host Club The Disastrous Life of Saiki K Hunter X Hunter One Piece (season 1 or OPLA only, unfortunately.) Haikyuu (Nekoma and Karasuno only)

Rules, Exceptions, ETC:

NO: pedophilia, nsfw of minors, racism, homophobia, transphobia, blah blah blah you know the drill OK: nsfw (adult/aged up characters only. obviously.), non/dubcon (not to be romanticized, only for entertainment purposes, not glamorizing.), specific kinks (just no piss/scat/weird or anything that goes against my "no" list), multiple characters, harems/reverse harems, LGBTQ+, polyamory

Not Sure? If you're unsure of my rules/limits, ask! also, if you're here from my wattpad account... hi!

[scary-senpai]

So I was working on a little something for @wanpanmas...

What you must understand about me, is that I can never be normal about anything, ever.

Anyway, the prompt was supposed to be hot chocolate.

"What force, what brutality!" "Her power is surely on par with Tatsumaki's." "Thank God she can only manipulate desserts."

From the safety of HA Headquarters, Sitch and Sekinger surveyed the skirmish from every possible angle as it streamed across multiple televisions screens.

High up in the summits, the battle raged on—between the battered, beleagured heroes and the behemoth Swiss Maid that had somehow achieved sentience, and was now intent to wreck havoc across the snow-crested alps of K-City.

With a blood-curdling cry and a shake of her pigtails, the Swiss Miss dug her claws into the earth, ripped up a stretch of topsoil and began to wrap the earth around itself, layer by layer—as if storing a yoga mat, or a fruit rollup of some sort. Tanks, armored cars, entire infantry divisions—all abruptly squished together and immobalized like so much cream filling.

"A Swiss roll attack," Sekinger said. "We should have guessed."

"Metal Bat. Garou. Come in," Sitch spoke frantically into his ear piece. "Are you still there?"

"We're still here." Badd's voice came through, but barely. "We got lucky."

Garou's connection wasn't much better. "How's the backup situation?"

"I'll have to check." Sitch's assistant switched the video feed—bad news, all of it. Every city was beset by its own mascot disaster:

- Q City: Overrun by malevolent Tropicana Oranges. Watchdog Man, trapped in an endless game of fetch.

- A City: Plagued by Coca Cola Polar Bears. Zombieman was rapidly losing limbs.

- In Smelly Lid Prison, the Kool-Aid Man barrelled through wall after wall of reinforced concrete. Most of the prisoners had been freed, but Puri Puri had been buried under several cartloads of rubble.

Sekinger and Sitch looked at each other grimly. Their silence spoke volumes.

"Don't everybody answer at once." Garou's disdain was evident.

"And what about Caped Baldy, huh? What's he up to?"

Sitch cleared his throat. "We don't know. Nobody can reach him."

.......

While the K-City Alps were in shambles, the city below was fine.

Shielded from the fracas by several picturesque mountain ranges, the citizens went about their normal holiday preparations—stringing lights, decorating trees, and exploring the scenic Christmas Market that had popped up in the City Square.

As always, the line for hot chocolate snaked halfway across the block. It wasn't Saitama's idea of a good time, but Genos finally had a day off, and this is what Genos wanted to do with it. So Saitama had tagged along, for support.

Besides, it was nice to see the kid get excited about something other than murder, for once.

Saitama switched his phone to "silent" and mentally prepared himself for another lecture on wave machines.

"Wave mechanics," Genos corrected. "The Hot Chocolate effect is a phenomena of wave mechanics wherein—"

"—face it, Gen. It's a cool idea but that chocolate's never getting out of the swimming pool. It's way too sticky to put in a wave machine.”

"…indeed." Genos deferred to his sensei with a polite nod, and then gently changed the subject to something more accessible.

"Thank you for accompanying me today, Sensei. Are you sure that the Hero Association does not require your presence? They are often short-staffed during the holidays."

"Oh yeah," Saitama said, checking his pager. "I'm getting all these messages about the Swiss Miss. Isn't she supposed to be neutral?"

"Switzerland is a famously neutral entity," Genos confirmed. "Perhaps they refer to the Swiss Guard."

"That would explain why they’re Threat Level God,” Saitama murmured. “Well. I’m sure the Pope can handle it.”

Saitama promptly slipped his phone back into his pocket and went back to thinking about chocolate swimming pools.

[to be continued]

---

Author's note:

Maybe one day I'll write a fic without footnotes, but today is not that day.

The Hot Chocolate Effect

The Swiss Guard

[criscura]

Hello! Have you been reading One-Punch Man? Have you been enraptured by the escapades of the mysterious Blast, and curious about his tenuous relationship with the corrupted ninja once known as Empty Void?

Do you want to see them absolutely friggin' wreck each other's shit and rawdog sloppy style until they're dripping in blood sweat and cum???

Yeah the FUCK YOU DO!!!!!!

Have over 30k of bi panic, dick measuring contests, sweaty wrestling foreplay, and the kind of sex that makes you ask if they're fucking or trying to commit murder 💛

((And angst. Could I even call it mine if there weren't a few haymakers *right* to the heart??))

[unfortunatelycake]

Pine Needles and Hot Cocoa

Chapters: 1/3 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Garou/Satoru | Mumen Rider Summary: Garou doesn't particularly like Christmas. But there's one part of it he does like, and it comes wearing a silly elf hat, and riding a bicycle with a flask of hot cocoa in the basket.

Notes: @wanpanmas 2024 day 1: Hot cocoa