#opening myself up
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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so i just 14 seconds ago learned the blonde dude in dragonball is not, in fact, a unique character
#14 seconds bc i timed myself and that's how long it took to write this post#i was so alarmed i immediately opened a tumblr tab bc i was in desperate need of spiritual guidance#('spiritual guidance' is a loan term i use to refer to being Haunted by the Ghouls in my Accursed Amulet)#(yes the amulet is my fucking phone it fulfills the definition LOOK IT UP)
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"You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself." Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
#art donaldson becoming the most interesting character to me#i'm just obsessed with his jealousy and desires#he's so opaque bc he rarely speaks up but he's an open book when you know how to read him#that much jealousy should have consumed him entirely from the inside we're lucky he's still standing#“was anyone going to tell me about this parallel or was i supposed to notice it by myself?”#i say as never check the tag bc i'm easily annoyed#this seems like an obvious parallel considering the next scene that happens with tashi but i never realized it before now oops#nasty snake donaldson they will never take you away from me!!#art donaldson#tashi duncan#patrick zweig#challengers
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Out of sight, out of - wait.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#granny wen#a-yuan#It's always fascinating how colours translate from the page to the screen.#It would probably surprise a lot of people to see what some of these comics actually look like in physical form.#My lighter colours takes about 3-4 washes before it shows up on scan which means it tends to ripple the page.#And my yellows and oranges are drastically different colours when scanned compared to the ink colour.#There's about 20 or so comics where everyone's hair is purple - because it scanned in the exact same colour as my light grey.#Wait my book is right here in front of me so I can...yeah...Comics 57-77 were indeed purple.#This is all to say - is it not fascinating how what we see is often not the full truth of what the subject truly is?#Is it not fascinating to open another episode that reminds us that despite everyone's claims they could totally spot the evil YLLZ-#-The man walks around among them for months as no more than a man haggling for deals like the rest.#It's almost as if he's just a person. It's almost as if none of us - no matter what we do are really anything more than just a person.#Your good acts will be overtaken by how other's interpret you in negative light.#Just as easily are people willing to forgive crueler actions if they hold you in high esteem.#But what's real? Is the page I hold the real version of this comic? Is it the one you look at?#Is the man known as Wuxian the most himself when he is alone or on the battlefield?#Perhaps he is and has always been a scared orphan boy lost in the market.#I think there is no good answer to any of these questions.#But I do know that panic rising in WWX as he frantically looks for A-yuan was for more than one boy.#To be human is to have layers around a delicate center. We only really grow around our wounds from childhood.#In other words; Donkey from Shrek would also probably call Wei Wuxian an onion. I'll see myself out now.
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Hey, Writers! Hype yourselves up!
If you see this post you are hereby obligated to tell me in the replies and/or tags what you believe your strengths as a writer are! Go off! For this post, we’re tossing that imposter syndrome in the bin!
#trying to hype myself up by making everyone else hype themselves up#anyway i’ll go first: i think i have a really strong sense of character and narrative voice!#that’s it that’s what i think im good at#probably opening myself up to have my notifs blown to hell but hey it can’t be any more annoying than the weetbix post notifs
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Tommy mentioning that Mark reminds him so much of Techno hurts my heart because like. Yeah they are really similar in the sense of both being surprisingly chill extremely hardworking genuine Californian youtubers with a sort of deadpan style but also. They're two paths that went differently. Mark started his channel after getting a (benign) tumor out at 23. Techno died from his tumor at 23. What would techno have looked like when he would've reached the point where Mark's at, 10+ years on YouTube? It's always in the back of my mind, what would he be saying about the new skyblock updates or minecraft snapshots but this is a new tier, like would he have written something maybe? Maybe he'd have that comedy series on Greek mythology he mentioned once. There's no way he'd quit hypixel of course but what else would he be chasing? He never even got to enjoy the post-10 mil plateau of inspiration Mark and Tommy were talking about. I miss him
#technoblade#markiplier#tommyinnit#tom simons#a door opens up#tw death#tw cancer#mark edward fischbach#i make myself sad#sorry#powerwash simulator
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Begging swifties to understand that Taylor didn’t write reputation and Lover with the knowledge of how the relationship was going to end and that trying to “excavate” those albums for evidence to prove a specific theory as to why it ended is not how they should be viewed. Taylor wrote those songs feeling a very specific way because that’s what she was experiencing and she is now reflecting on them with hindsight and relates to them differently than when she first created them. These conflicting emotions can exist; how she views it now doesn’t diminish how she felt about it when she first released it.
#taylor swift#don’t know if I’m expressing myself as properly and as articulate as I’d like#but both of the emotions she’s feeling about the songs can coexist#like little lover can still be a love song that’s what it was for her for a while#but she can also look back and say ‘oh maybe this wasn’t the best’ but it doesn’t void what it was originally#like I keep seeing things like oh she wrote this lyric in lover about him not showing up and it’s like no that’s not right#like yes you can see her underlying anxieties and fears in those songs because she was open about them#it doesn’t mean she predicted how it would end#there was a point in time where she thought this man was the one and would write about feeling that way
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💙🖤❤💚🐾
batboys tail wagging charm i had for preorder last december.
#batboys#dc comics#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#sugargrinds#please look at my babies#finished this awhile ago but i realised i never posted the final product 🙂↕️#i want to say this is a fun charm series to work on but i was crying shaking throwing up the whole time i had to draw the back design...#(will in fact inflict this on myself again)#edit: ill open order for these again in the future dwdw 🤠
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I forget how to draw every other day
#text#i've been hyping myself up to open commissions for the past week but the impostor syndrome or whatever you wanna call it
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#like jesus allowing himself to be crucified for the good of humanity#i am opening myself up to being torn to pieces for this poll because i believe it to be for the good of humanity#spn#supernatural
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my attempt at making a fursona
#i never see any mole furries so i thought id try my hand at it ^_^#i was hungry making this and was thinking of dirt cup pudding so its partly inspired by that and mario grass blocks#i dont draw furries very often so this was a fun learning experience lol. also!! star nose moles are kinda cute!!!!#when i was coming up with a name my mind kept going back to that tiktok of dogs and the tts voice saying stuff like i like mulch#mulch is my favorite food! yippee mulch!! so if youre wondering where i got the name theres the lore for it#i also wanna make a sea otter fursona.. and perhaps a snowshoe hare or other winter animal. oh or a barn owl!!#im trying to free my mind when it comes to making multiple sonas bc im still trying to wrap my head around it#ive always kinda seen myself as my persona but i want to try and be silly with it. actually while i was making this i was a little doubtful#to call it my fursona bc it doesnt look like me but a little voice inside my head was like well. youre not a 5 foot tall talking mole eithe#so you might as well. and i was thinking abt ppl with their dragon wolves with wings and i was like wow.. youre right... i can do what i#want forever. and brother that shit was enlightening it was like my third eye opened when i realized that#my art#myart#my oc#oc#fursona#mulch#furry art#sfw furry#character design#oc ref sheet#reference sheet
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L with a cat :3
#death note#l lawliet#everybody’s asleep it’s time to post L with a cat. and strawberries bc i like drawing strawberries. i be drawing those thangs all the#time for real. it’s bc they’re awesome and they look awesome adn also because L is like a strawberry to me….#anyway this is just a doodle bc i’m working on bigger and better things 😈 for a certain upcoming event 😈 but i can’t help myself#from drawing L cute style on occasion lol….#sorry i haven’t been posting a lot on here it’s been winter :/ and also i’ve been doing more non-fandom physical art :)#oh and i’ll prolly be opening commissions soon i just cannot be bothered setting up a sheet and i keep putting it off but i will do it#at some point lol….
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when
#im not finishing that sentence i must stop myself#the kid at the back vn#tkatb vn#the kid at the back#tkatb#tkatb fanart#solivan brugmansia#tkatb sol#ok i feel bad posting sketches bc i don't like how i make them but i know that if i don't post this now im never going to do it#also i tried this i've seen about making the nose like a triangle and somehow placed it right at first try .im never doing that again#do i need to tag this with anything if anyone knows or needs letme know i have no idea#he no babygirl that's a whole ass man and i need him crawling in four that's the last thing he can do#i should draw him cute sometime tho i have to make a creature out of him too#i wantto open him#brain do you have anything else to say? no actually im thinking weird stuff rn dont type anything else shut up forever#okback to my enclosure 🍖#also bestie if u see this i didn't make this bc of what we talked about i swear i just got possessed .worst timing of history#para cuandooooo para cuando para cuando para cuando para cuando come to the band
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Two charm designs I made for myself because I didn't see enough merch of my two favourite ships 💖
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer#radiorose#lucilith#alastor x rosie#lucifer x lilith#digital art#csp#my art#long time no see lmao sorry I was busy having fun on twitter#sorry for the big watermarks I've seen too many people get their designs stolen#it was supposed to only be two charms I made for myself but people on discord seemed interested; I'll see if I open them up for preorder
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same pose as last post p much but with bulge & belly....
links
#<3#could be massaged (petted) could be punched#for pics like these i don't really love linking all my stuff out in the open#i only really like doing that on pics i put more effort into- which is not to be confused with liking said pics more#i only post photos of myself that i like or find hot in some way- but i feel a little embarrassed when i clearly list my tip sites on#these lower effort pics lol :') so i opened up one of my neocities pages as a “linktree” to tidy things up on posts like this#trans nsft#queer nsft#t4t nsft#butch nsft#dyke nsft#bd/sm community#t4t ns/fw#trans butch#ftm nsft#butch bottom#trans ns/fw#trans ns4t#bottomposting#tboy nsft#tboy ns/fw#tboy tummy#tboy bulge#butch bulge#ftm packer#butch packer#butch sub#ftm sub#ftm bottom#ftm ns/fw
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i went to filter #wicked to regain control of my dash but i don’t think i’m allowed to do that in massachusetts
#im glad you’re all having a great time tho!!#this sounds like i made it up to be clever but i actually had my settings open#and couldn’t bring myself to click Add#wicked the defining regional slang term they could never make me hate you#also i don’t hear it that much anymore??? is it a dated defining regional slang term?#massachusetts
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