#op has kidney stones

[neonghozt]

Christian brutal snipez again

[raayllum]

for snake boy callum 2.0 week day 2, snakes + stars

It takes time, but eventually Callum is pieced together enough, and Ezran can't evade enough, that Soren sits them down to have a conversation on castle security. About assassinations.

One of the guards who'd stuck around through everything—had deserted Viren's army, had fought in the tower with Soren and survived the night, had sworn true service to Harrow's heir—sits with them. A familiar face as any, but Callum still eyes her warily.

She's not his family, and she's not even Soren, and...

"There are enchantments I can set around the castle," Callum says. Sky spells are sound like alarms when sound pings off. Sun spells he can craft with help from Aunt Amaya's resources for lights and morse code, shadow traps and truth crystals, just to make sure everyone is being honest.

"Won't some elves maybe know how to undo them, though?" Ezran inquires. He's sitting in a regular chair and his feet can't touch the floor.

He's so tiny, still, and while Callum has seen first hand how capable his brother is, how much he shouldn't be underestimated—He's strong and brave, he'll get it, he'll save the egg!—Callum shakes his head.

He hates the circumstances that led them here. The assassination, the murder, and there's peace now, but their family—and the silver lining of it all isn't even here, now, and—

"It's not elves we have to worry about now, Ez," Callum says darkly. "The other human kingdoms aren't happy with you or Aanya. Even our own is..."

"At least we do not have to worry about more Moonshadow elf assassins," the guard says with a tiny, joking smile, not seeing the warning signs Soren makes with his hands, and it takes all of Callum's self control not to demand she be thrown out of the room.

In the end, he sulks and studies in his new office. Viren'd had a primal stone too once upon a time. There has to be something in his notes, loathe as Callum is go through them of course, that could be a worthwhile measure to implement. Or maintain.

Not that any of them were enough to protect his father from Moonshadow assassins in the end, but... Ez will be different. He has to be different.

Eventually, he turns to a book that's propped half open in the corner of a bookshelf he hasn't really explored yet. The sketch of a soulfang serpent pokes out, and Callum goes and pulls it from the shelf, cracking the tome open.

It hits like a blow to the chest, to be reminded of the Midnight Desert after—he focuses on the eery green glow of their eyes, the shimmering grey of their scales. They look nothing like dark magic chains at least. A passage is circled about their connection to the Moon arcanum and souls (that's almost enough to make him put the book away) and Viren's cramped handwriting: Two head — switch?

I'd switch places in a second, he'd said to Claudia that day in the library, and she'd run off with an excited gleam in her eye.

It curdles his stomach now to wonder what it was, but... They'd found a basket with snake feces in it in King Harrow's room afterwards. Opeli had shown them the court records once she'd thought they could bear it.

Maybe Viren had...

But it's awful, from the sound of it. Wearing someone else's face, your soul in a stranger's body. It's not as though Katolis doesn't have surgeries—there's the baker's son who'd needed a new kidney, a few years back—but to take a wholly healthy body and... It's the worst kind of dark magic.

Ez finds him out on one of the balconies later, feet slipping just like Callum's had on the climb up. (He can't quite manage to summon his wings again, yet, but... he's working on it.) Callum grabs his hand to help haul him all the way up. It's a moonless night, clouds obscuring the slim crescent that is there. Stars twinkle in between.

"I'm not going to get assassinated, you know," Ezran says, nudging him in the shoulder.

Callum exhales. "I know," he says, because he won't let it happen. "I just..." Tears build, cold on his face in the mid-autumn air. "You're all I have left, Ez."

"She'll come back."

Callum looks away and wipes at his nose with his scarf, sighing when Ezran wraps an arm around his shoulder. He's the big brother, he's supposed to be comforting Ezran, not the other way around.

"I saw the notes you left," Ez continues quietly. "Well, the ones Viren left, I guess. About the soul fang serpent." He runs his fingers over one hand thoughtfully. "D'you think Dad...?"

"I don't know," Callum says. "But—there's no way Dad would've agreed, even if he was given that kind of deal."

The magic was awful. It wasn't precise enough. If the spell could swap souls and bodies, maybe—let the corpse fall and then put you back in, heal up the wounds—let you be yourself, and the other person's soul and body would be severed but buried, then—

Callum pushes those thoughts away. No. No, even if Harrow could've kept his body, even if he could've kept his face, it still wouldn't be fair to whosever soul died on that blade. Not fair to the family, or husk left behind, or...

Callum buries his fingers in his hair and breathes through his nose, in and out. Ezran rests his head on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're High Mage now," his little brother says, stifling a yawn. "I wouldn't know how to handle all this magic stuff without you."

Someone had to make these kinds of decisions, Callum reminds himself. Or at least consider the possibilities, the paths spreading out before them, even if they weren't all going to be—shouldn't be taken.

He has to be more than Ezran's high mage. There are humans, and dark mages, and someone has to know what they might be up against from the Pentarchy. Ezran needs a shield, from whatever he can still be shielded from.

And that person is him.

"Hm." Callum kisses him on the forehead once Ezran he's asleep, then shifts and picks him up.

Ez is getting heavy for this, but—Callum manages to make his way down, carrying him all the while. He passes Ezran off to Soren in the hall, the king snoozing as the crownguard hefts him up and then heads down the hall to the king's tower.

Callum hauls tome after tome off the shelves after, full of dark magic—grotesque images and wicked spells—carrying them up to his spot on the balcony, a primal flame in his hand as he begins to read. The stars have nearly blinked out by the time he stops and goes to bed.

He had to know what his brother's enemies could be capable of if he wanted to be able to stop them, after all.

(Later, he will know what he's capable of, too.)

[noonegetsleftbehind]

i have always been pretty transparent on here about the things that i am going through and struggling with so...

tldr? i'm going through it and it's made me a little slow and given me no concentration and i feel bad about that, but i am working on it. hang in there with me. i will be on when i can and post when i can. i love you all and i'm sorry for making any of you wait.

to say the year has been rough would be an understatement. don't get me wrong... a lot of GREAT things happened too and i am so grateful for them. nothing is ever perfect and there will always be bad times with the good. that's just life.

it's just been a super whirlwind of WHAT THE FUCK at the end of the year. in september i started getting horrid jaw/face/head pain. it got so bad i wound up in the ER twice for it. they said it was a bad ear infection so antibiotics it was. still didn't stop. they said it was a sinus infection. more antibiotics. went to an ENT and they ordered a CT of my sinuses and told me what i already knew... my nose is fucked up and needs fixed. i have a deviated septum. i've had one like my whole life. it's been over 30 years of me not remembering what it's like to actually be able to breathe, of constant sinus infections and various other complications of not being able to breathe.

flash to being told i have chronic sinusitis and more antibiotics... the pain changes and i think mmmm maybe this is more than just the sinuses.... so i went to the dentist. sure enough all 4 of my wisdom teeth were PISSED. went to an oral surgeon and two of them were badly impacted, one sitting directly on my nerve and one at the time had an active infection. got shit set up to go ahead with surgery.

all of a sudden i feel something familiar and convince myself it's just a uti.... i knew it wasn't. it was bad. my doctor told me to go to the ER so i did. that's when i learned i had 3 kidney stones that were in my ureters that were working on passing and a giant ass 10mm boulder about to drop of out of my one kidney. saw my urologist and got told hey it might take a minute to schedule this surgery, but you need it so if you're in pain go to the ER and make sure you're admitted so they do it as an emergency surgery. welp... pain got bad and i had my first stay in a hospital as i had to wait until the next morning for a surgeon. had all of that removed and a stent put in for 2.5 weeks.

the day after i had to have my stent removed was my surgery for wisdom teeth. apparently 3 of 4 of my teeth were infected and it was a bad fucking time. healed from that. saw my CT results from the sinus scan and hooooo boy is shit fucked in there. got scheduled for another surgery on jan 25th to have my nose fixed and for them to go in and fix my sinuses.

i have 3 doctor's appointments AND a bloodwork appointment on tuesday. another doctor appointment wednesday. a meeting with my lawyer thursday and my pre-op on friday. on jan 19th i have my hearing for disability and i am scared shitless about the whole thing. it's been really really rough and it would be nice if i could finally have something work out in my favor.

i've just been... stressed. stressed and tired and depressed. i am pretty sure the meds i am on are NOT working and to top that off they give me HORRIBLE nausea that i cannot cope with without having anti-nausea meds on hand. i'm talking without that i will projectile vomit about 10 minutes after taking them.

my anxiety is at an all time high. my depression is... about as bad as it's been in about a year and the last time it was bad was not a good time for me. i struggle every day lately to find any semblance of joy in the things i normally love doing like writing etc. it's been... hard. i come here as an escape and to not have that escape just sucks. it sucks and i tend to feel guilty and awful for making people wait and letting people down so to speak. it just adds to my ick.

so this is me laying it all out there. i have a lot going on. my head isn't always in the best of places lately and concentration is so hard for me. when i AM on here it means i am really trying hard to be. hopefully the med situation will get better after tuesday and then i'll need time to adjust to something else.

i'm sorry i'm not fast or on it etc. i wish i was. i really do. i just have a million things going on and my anxiety is constantly coming at me about it which then just triggers my depression among other things.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Some more suggestions:

Rip open a pomegranate for a charcuterie centerpiece to evoke the Persephone Mythos, and (according to one infamous tumblr debacle) it's reminiscent of a gory heart

Actually, why stop at evoking a Heart? Chicken hearts are available at a ton of Asian and Hispanic grocery stores and are actually really easy to cook up quick (very underrated Low Spoons food!) and what's more Goth than eating an actual heart?

Depending on what Goth Subcultures you're part of, there's a lot of less-eaten organ and bone meats that are less-commonly eaten because they're not aesthetically palatable to Normies despite being delicious. Tongue, Liver, Kidney, eyes, intestines, genitalia and BLOOD are all staples of many cuisines worldwide and really make you think about the very goth nature of. There's Duck-Blood soup at my local polish place that is EXQUISITE.

Hell, if you really want to think about how you are eating a once-living thing, consider a whole-animal roast like Trout, whole duck, suckling pig or even Rabbit. Celebrate it's life by cooking it well, pick it's bones clean and Memento your own Mori.

Re: Candles: Agreed, if it comes on plates, it comes with candles, but consider your dishware too: Black is a classic and obvious choice, but consider jewel tones to pop against a dark tablecloth and provide some contrast to your food. You know how birds of paradise and sunset moths and a lot of other animals with SUPER dark pigmentation also have patches of intense color? Take if from a Biologist and Artist- Jewel tones make Blacks Blacker, like how moments of joy make the despair so much more intense.

You can also try gold-tone tableware to evoke that Dracula's-Golden-Cutlery literary motif!

Do you know what stone fruits, potatoes, asparagus, tapioca, Rhubarb and cashews have in common? They're all plants where only parts of it are edible, or they need to be cooked very carefully or they're extremely poisonous. Think about all you ancestors who took their lives into their hands figuring this out while you eat.

Granted, this last suggestion is more Punk than Goth, but I feel like it adds something to any cuisine: In the continental US and I think a good portion of Europe, almost everywhere has local farm co-ops and game-shares so you can eat in an environmentally friendly way that supports your community and is also HELLA fresh and doesn't go through the aesthetic screening that grocery store foods, and I feel like having some genuinely grotesque-looking produce on the table adds to the aesthetic.

[milan-chica]

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They served as Atty Gen the same time it took the same big they took on the same big fights to get California bow here in Delaware big fights helped change the entire country I know how much bow respected and her work that matter a Free Spirit Brave Soul Medical Assistant Leopard Heart T Shirt From AllezyGo lot to me to be honest with you as I made this decision so now we need to get to work playing this nation out of these crises we find ourselves. America cabinsand resolve to go offand find buckyand bring them back to normal meanwhile buck is off killing hydra scientistsand trying to become more human as you imagine with the shield team yeah finding out everyone’s hydra is a pretty big mess john garrettand grant were exposedand start shooting people in the faceand a big battle between hydra shield ensues in the cast that follows the us government declare shield a terrorist organization that’s fun for colson the gang john garrett breaks initials facilitiesand steals a bunch weapons from colson’s past ventures pheasant simmons end up in a medical pod which grant ward then chucks to the bottom of the ocean fits almost sacrifices himself to save simmons because they’re in love but in a fury shows up just in time to save them during colsonand team upand eventually defeat garrett to make schools in the new head of shieldand jesse were up to date his team now includes this dude called macand the studio tripletand this dude called patton oswalt after the spirit wasn’t hiding with the excellent disguise of a beanie however colson is now starting to experience side effects from being resurrected using cree fluids the main side effect is he start sketching a map of that ancient cree city for humans to find is that sin is brain now meanwhile the soon to be human is been running around the show for a while now called reyna goes to daisy’s dad calvin who is still looking for after all these yearsand tells him she’s found his daughter he really was sincere so he sets out to do that this has been the because he almost drownedand now he’s got brain damage simmons is nelson’s work undercover in hydra with the help of fellow shield agent bobby morse shield team lost recruit sassy british man lance hunterand some other people but they’re not as important agents also start fighting this inhuman called carl creel the absorbing that back over to calgary now he discovers it is usb stick with information on it that he would like to have however it’s currently in possession of guest to reva connors luke cage’s wife so he is jessica to find usb formand then orders her to kill reva jessica does it but it’s so dramatic that she manages to break free from kill race controland walks away he is then promptly hit by a bus just giving he’s dead but he survives in later forces a guy given both of his kidneys so he can live after all this jessica jones decides to become a private investigator while luke cage is pretty devastatedand also now running his bar okay now were going to go to space for quite a bit that is a still looking for those infinity stones after loki stuck to getting the tesseract so he lists run the accuser’s old cree crazy fanatic friend to help them in case you forgot the cree are still war with the no vampire the good police of spaceand it was a peace treaty involved that decree signed but ronan went rogueand started terrorizing secondary people send r is the capital of the vampire enemies a lot of weird names once i’m sorry anyway ronan with the help of dennis’s adopted daughters nebulaand gomorrah is now looking for the orb that contains the power infinity stone on places like praxis nine process nine at data know but so far no luck also grew rocket or start collecting bounties for example on this guy called balto so this point most everyone is looking for this infinity stone orb dennis wants it to come to the universe once it’s usand give it to the collectorand this random urgent wants it because it can probably be sold for a lot of money this merchant hires yonder in the rafters to get a form peter quill now going the name star lord is all grown upand despite what they taught him once to move away from the ravages so he locates the orband takes it for himself just before running into ronan’s henchmen started quill escapesand gomorrah center treated on the planet of zande are guerrillas attacked by gomorrah for the orband by writing group for huge bounty on his head in the end all capturedand sent to prison called the kiln where they meet tracks the destroyer tracks his family was killed by running under the command of panos so once revenge on both those guys which intends on getting through gomorrah in the end these unlikely five team up to get out of the kilnand plan to get the order to the collector so they can all get paid now you got the rogers were medic will the notochord who would uphold the lawand ronan once the orb on the tail is to know where a celestial head where the collector is peter so I love it gomorrah jackson arcata getting drunkand fighting but eventually through all these distractions they doand of giving the orb to the collector however one of the collector’s assistance to the stoneand a big explosion happens because it’s an infinity stone was as good markwell to take the stone back in a fit of junk vengeance just goes run into the planet a fight in a fight which she loses badlyand tries to kill more in spaceand gets the orb that peter saves her at the last minute right as a captured by the raptors ronan as the stoneand decides to betray santos giving it for himselfand paying to distressand areand then santos the crew now going by the name of the guardians of the galaxy eventually regroupand team up with the ravages to guard the galaxy they team up with another court as well a big clinic to bounces during which grid sacrifices himself to save his new friends eventually after some paddlingand dance off peterand russ the guardians grab the stoneand kill run with it saving the day in the process peter is able to hold the power of the stone for sunday does because he’s part celestial areas of the stones than of the court keep safe I wonder that’s agoand they often become kind of guns for hire also rocket pics of the twig from grits corpseand plants that create a new gruden baby form who grows with the team meanwhile the collector gets mocked by herod the duck ego the living planet celestial is my someone who held infinity stoneand realizes it must be some of his day yonder never delivered is a plan to get peter to’s planet they can join forces so we can consume everything everywhere nebula has escapedand is now hated by pretty much everyone in the universe but she really wants to kill her dad that us she tries to steal some superpowerful batteries from these aliens called the sovereign but is caughtand taken prisoner however there’s a giant monster called the obelisk that slowly drain those batteries power to the sovereign the guardians to defeated they greeted so if they get nebula as payment after they succeed however rogge still similar batteries because he’s kind of a dick that’s not a joke that’s pretty much what he did it still battery the summer discover this since in the fleet to kelly guardians but ego shows upand destroys that fleet reveals himself as peter’s dadand him peter gomorrah jackson egos helper mantis who can read people’s emotionsand make people feel emotions go back to ego’s home planet his body meanwhile rocket baby groupand nebula stage repair the ship meanwhile the ravagesand the undo off on some hooker planet celebrating the victory against ronan when yonder runs into sylvester stallone after all these years stone is a bit of foreshadowing that how yonder won’t have a nice rabbit your funeraland yonder is not too happy about it but soon after the sovereign approachand then ask them in the ravages to catch the guardians for them that’s the planet where the guardians crash landedand after b skirmish take rocketand baby group prisoner one of the ravages taser face please yonder was getting too softand stages of mutiny nebula helps the ravages take out jan doand then goes off to kill her sister onceand for all is really she just was to kill her whole family at this pointand his mentor killed the mutiny but eventually yonder rocket bondand escape with the very very slow help of baby groupand yonder’s number two crack when you gets a new arrow controlling mohawkand the murder all the ravages mastered’s in the coolest way possible meanwhile on egos planet egos teaching peter how to use his celestial powersand peter is loving it something seems off thoughand that is his beginning friends with tracksand wants to tell them about egos deep secret as in all the child murdering young to know as well that child murdering so him craband daily gruden rocket getting the shipand jump across the universe to save peterand the gang from ego nebula get steel spina first invites gomorrah but eventually they stop fightingand talk out their differences peter is getting really into ego so celestial thing welcome nebula discovered cave of the children under the surface peters advertised may goand almost as long would egos plan until ego reveals that he killed peter’s mom at which point peter steps out of itand the battle begins the process of all the cd the plantand transforming has already begunand the stuff starts expanding all over the universe including honor the guardians by egoand the sovereign as they just arrived peterand ego to get out in the weirdest way possibleand ultimately yet the guardians when an ego is no more in the process peter loses his celestial powers is not totally op when infinity work comes however to say peter yonder redeems himselfand sacrifices his own life freezing to death in outer space youngest funeral followsand all the raptures including stallone come back to honor him since they realized he wasn’t such a bad guy after all nebula gomorrah become somewhat loving sisters nebula leaves to find a way to kill santos which I guess takes another four years to get around to doing kremlin takes over yonder zeroand still reunites an old ravaged team then yonder’s honor the sovereign still pretty upset with the guardians create adam warlock to be the ultimate weapon against them though that’s also to take a few years to fully manifest also this old man has been an informant for these beings that watch the universe called the watchersand that’s all you need to know about them nowand go back to earth there’s this guy called jonathan sanborn who gets in an accident at the factory work sadand is paralyzed he seeks medical helpand physical therapy but those do nothing for so he hears about ties for the masters of the mystic art still hang outand has over there here he meets the one entries in the way of the mystic artsand eventually leaves as he can use the magic to walk again this year team is having more adventures mainly revolving around trying to figure out those weird drawings colson is doing this includes may find an agent with a mask that makes you look like me it’s probably burned onto a face that guy verna reinhardt also comes backand get his hands on the diviner again over hell’s kitchen not murdoch confesses at his church about his vigilanteand because he’s very catholic but decides to give it up anyway to make a city a safer place in the same area reporter called karen page discovers some shady activity involving money laundering going on with this companyand tries to tell one of its employees but wakes up the next morning next to his dead body holding a blade knife she’s accused of murder against nelsonand murdoch to defend her she’s doing some investigatingand so some people want to killed matt in his vigilante outfit safes are become known as the daredevil that karen such working as a secretary for nelson murdoch ever since that you turn invasion a bunch of house prices have dropped new york or something real estate related like that so they’re more russian gangstersand mobstersand all that taking advantage of the situation wasn’t fisk that the range kid from before returns him to make the city a better place but a better place for him isn’t better for a lot of people also he falls in love the woman called vanessaand start being people’s headsand with car doors those two things are mostly unrelated so that as daredevil fights back against him involving lots of dark hallwaysand alleysand beating up russians in bidding of ninjas called nobu in the process thought he discovers who he isand has a big scene of acting on the way that also provides a nurse called claire temple finds a new year’s at houston to his wounds wasn’t fisk also starts working with mme. Ways you really know why when I very dearly out there on how the world can the larry down cleanup every note and an been cresting to the returning energy are you willing to give out to joe biden here is my answer going on recollections can break your heart they can make to gain from the here was interesting to hear what the president experienced intelligent and actually believe in the rule of law was starting to see the soul of this nation and my favorite things to fix sacrificing your ideals or your commitment to family who better to introduce your children biden sleep joe biden is our dad now about it when I tell you what kind president our dad will be will be and honest caring principle to listen will be there when you need him tell you get to when you get when you will never let you down the rock candy strongly shouldering you can ever lean on every time you succeed will make your grandkids fielded what they’ve got to see others treat cream on the line get up no matter how many times he’s been knocked down

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Premium This Summer Season will Presents Who Love:

New Jersey Connecticut Detroit in New Orleans all appear to be passed their peak and we are seeing consistent declines in hospitalization and cases in regions across the country are only conclusion is that were getting their as the American people are put into practice presidents guidelines of social distancing because you been listening and adhering to the guides the state and local officials we are of making or making meaningful progress in a Free Spirit Brave Soul Medical Assistant Leopard Heart T Shirt From AllezyGo very real sense sparing Americans to be exposed to the coronavirus and no less extent on saving lives are task force actually believes Mr Pres that if we continue these mitigation efforts in the days ahead as states implement their policies including phased reopening that will preserve those gains we do believe by early summer we could be in a much better place as a nation with the with much of this coronavirus epidemic behind us earlier today we also had a conference call led by Sec Ben Carson and leaders from hot about the president’s announcement yesterday and. Delay the Election and Suggested That He Will Not Leave Office If He Loses His Is Not Normal and We Must Never Treated like It Is under This Administration Authoritarianism Has Taken Root in Our Country I and My Family and Many of Yours Know the Insidious Way Authoritarianism Destroys the Democracy Decency and Humanity As Long As I Am Here I Will Work with Progressives with Moderates and Yes with Conservatives to Preserve This Nation from a Threat That so Many Although Heroes Fought and Died to Defeat This President Is Not Just a Threat to Our Democracy but by Rejecting Science He Has Put Our Lives and Health in Jeopardy Trump Has Attacked Doctors and Scientists Trying to Protect Us from the Pandemic While Refusing to Take Strong Action to Produce the Masks Gowns and Gloves Our Healthcare Workers Desperately Need Nero Fiddled While Rome Burned Trump Golfs His Actions Planned This Pandemic Resulting in over 170 000 Deaths and a Nation Still Unprepared to Protect Its People Furthermore Trumps Negligence Has. A call and so anybody of anything to say again young people are almost immune to this disease the younger the better is the stronger and stronger to have a stronger immune system it’s incredible See Other related products: My Favorite God Calls Me Son Clover Cross T Shirt

[patriciahaefeli]

A Cautionary Tale? A Love Story? You Decide

It's been one of those rollercoaster weeks, one that began with a great deal of pain, which I tried to ignore at first, so as not to ruin my 17- year old’s already Corona-compromised birthday party. At some point during our 5 p.m. family Zoom celebration, I quietly left the room and went upstairs to lie down, writhe in pain, get back up, bend over, moan, repeat. This continued through the night Monday – and at one point, I remember thinking that labor wasn’t this bad and that I should probably go to the emergency room. In this new world we’re in, that thought was quickly dismissed by one word: COVID. I paced the floor at 3 a.m., alternately moaning and then bopping my head and sort of softly singing what kept running through my head, which was the chorus of The Knack’s 1979 hit song, “My Sharona.” Only my version went “My Corona.” Yes, even while suffering, I’m clever that way. 

By Tuesday morning the pain had subsided. I was exhausted however, and slept throughout the day. “Tricia! Drink this! Jesus, she’s burning up.” It was the alarm in my husband’s voice that I responded to more than the command. I sat up, drank the water he was holding out to me, and when I caught my reflection in the mirror over the dresser I had the brief, feverously detached impression of someone who’d sat under a sun lamp for too long. Sun lamp, the words made me almost giggle out loud. Sun-lamp, sun-lamp, sun-lamp…Does anyone even know what that is anymore? A few hours later I had a virtual appointment with my regular GP, during which the decision was made for me to go to the office first thing Wednesday for a full exam. My instructions (my fever-addled brain again added the words “should I choose to accept them” - hehehe), for entering the building would come in the form a text. 

My office exam was efficient and thorough. Upon arrival, I called the office and someone met me at a side door. As we were both masked and gloved, we nodded and murmured muffled greetings. Two PAs and an MD palpated my tender abdomen while I stifled screams. They decided that I should have a C-T scan that day, with the expectation that the offending culprit was a kidney stone. As many radiology facilities are currently closed, it took a few hours for them to locate one that would take me. My scan took place at 4:30. I was the last patient of their day. 

 Fast forward to 6:30 p.m. Wednesday evening. I picked up the call, which was remarkable in itself because anyone who knows me knows how irritating it is that, a) my phone is always on silent mode, and, b) I rarely answer numbers I don’t recognize. It was another doctor from Vanguard, calling to let me know that my C-T scan showed no evidence of kidney stones – “Yay!” BUT, he cut in, it did show acute appendicitis. What I needed to do, he said, was to go directly to the nearest ER. 

So here’s where this story really begins, because I was about to get a reality check regarding the difference between the inconveniences of “social distancing” and quite literally, matters of life and death. For those of us who are shuffling around at home in our sweatpants, eating too much, complaining about the buffoonery of our President, laughing at all the funny memes, and who are, to one degree or another, COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that health care workers do not have the luxury of ANY of that, here’s the newsflash: The Corona virus has virtually SHUT down normal operations for hospitals and surgical facilities, so if you’re also laughing in the face of social-distancing guidelines, and just can’t wrap your head around the possibility of contracting this deadly disease, know this too: If you break your arm, or your spouse has a heart attack, or your child’s strange rash won’t go away and you’re just really concerned, good luck. We are NOT in Kansas anymore, peeps. 

 I considered doing a bit of a negative a rant on the first hospital that I went to here, but perhaps that wouldn’t be fair. “The nearest ER” for me would have been another hospital, but due to their somewhat dubious reputation, we opted to go just a bit farther away. The best thing I can say about that experience was that the safety protocols to enter the ER were impressive. Picture the scene in E.T. where the Hazmat-suited guys from the space program find out about him and “invade” the house in a tunnel of white - then picture the people standing six feet apart outside of say, ShopRite, only these people don’t look so great. They’re kind of bent over, or swaying, or leaning on someone else. Then count your blessings that your gut hurts and you’re not bleeding out…or struggling to breathe. 

Three hours later, after they’d reviewed my scans and completed all of the necessary pre-op tests (blood work, EKG, urine analysis), I got the word that most of the ORs were being used as ICUs for COVID patients, and they were only doing “emergent” surgeries. They sent me home with massive doses of antibiotics, and a referral to see their staff general surgeon - outpatient. 

I figured they were right, too. Must not be very serious. I was doing well with that notion until the following morning, when I heard the barely concealed shock in the voice of my regular MD.  

“Did they see your scans?” his tone serving only to increase my anxiety. 

 “Yeah. But my appendix hasn’t exploded yet.” I said. 

 “Ah,” he sighed, “I know things are being handled differently in the ‘current environment,’ but last time I checked, acute appendicitis was emergent.” 

Okay, pay attention now, because here’s where it gets really interesting: See if you can answer his parting questions: 

 “Do you have a general surgeon? Preferably one with their own facility?” 

 So, do you? And if you do, are you sure they’re even open right now? I sure as hell didn’t (and the name they gave me at the hospital turned out to be for a doctor whose answering machine told me he was not seeing new patients). And the idea that it was now pretty much my problem to solve was a little intimidating – especially for someone who generally needs to be told that they’re sick (enough) or in (enough) pain to seek help—but that’s another story. Now that doctor, who I respect and like a lot, said he’d be trying to find me one, but that I should do my research as well. 

 My husband and I made a fairly long list of people/places to call, and split it. Those we were able to reach at all offered possible solutions to my dilemma, but each dead-ended pretty quickly. I focused on the task now, trying to ignore what it might mean that the ache in my belly seemed to be spreading down my right leg. 

As of this writing, I have yet to hear back from my regular GP and yet, here I sit, post-op, able to get this down mostly because of a Facebook message I sent to one of the nurses in the Belleville Public School district. The only real help I got came from her, a nurse, who responded immediately to an “in-boxed” message, and kept responding for the next hour, sending me the names and phone numbers of doctors (sometimes with their credentials!), links to possible facilities, and words of encouragement. She gave me her personal cell phone number and encouraged me to call it if I had questions and/or to let her know how it was going. I felt like she meant it, too. I also think she was responsible for the first in a series of serendipitous events that just may have saved my life. One of the names she gave me turned out to be the dad of one of my kid’s friends. 

 At that point, things happened pretty quickly. I called him (at home) and told him my situation. In a matter of 20 minutes, he had my scans and had booked  a time slot for me for same-day surgery at Clara Maass. He’s a high-energy, outgoing kind of guy, and although I’d stood on sidelines with him and his lovely wife at many a sports event, I don’t know him well enough, nor did I think it was appropriate to laugh out loud when he laid out the plan: “With everything going on, I just really want to do you – and get you the hell out of there!” 

So here I am, more grateful to him than I can possibly express and having some time to consider just how random and crazy and dangerous that whole situation was (turns out, my appendix had begun to perforate after all, and the real fun was just beginning) and how fortunate I am. 

 But the real heroes here - Oh, and God, aren’t we all a little sick of the “hero” thing? – well get over it, and listen up! From the minute I walked through the door of Clara Maass yesterday, my experience was the best it could possibly have been. The nurses! OMG the nurses - I was in pre-op for hours. Lucky as I was to have been squeezed in to an already crowded surgical schedule, the truth of the matter was that my presence had required a quick shifting of resources—stretchers and space and - nurses. My sudden appearance in the queue was inconvenient, possibly even annoying. And yet all of them, including the nurse who ran the OR, came by to check on me, to give me extra blankets, to chat with me, and laugh with me. A friend’s daughter-in-law, who is a nurse there, got a text from him and even she came from three floors below just to say hello and charm me with her Australian accent and tired-but-twinkling blue eyes. I swear, for me? The whole experience was a cross between a weirdly sterile spa stay, and – as mine all happened to be women - a girls’ sleepover with your best girlfriends—only these were women I'd just met (but they’d also pretty much seen me naked, so, there’s that…). 

Most of them were nearing the end of a 12-hour shift. As I lay there, relaxed and warm, reading and texting, they race-walked back and forth among those of us who waited, or were recovering. I lost count of how many times one of them asked me if I was okay, or if I needed something. They ate their dinners on the move, taking bites and then sprinting off, tearing off one set of gloves, putting on another. These people Do. Not. Sit. The sink was right near my bed, so I saw a lot of hand-washing traffic too, and a lot of red, chapped, over-sanitized hands. They spoke in soothing voices to those who were waiting, and possibly scared, and loud-enough voices for those emerging from the cloud of anesthesia to understand. Sometimes they shouted good-natured complaints to one another, or teased one another – and me, as when one started repacking those bags they give you for your clothes, amusement in her voice as she yelled, “What the hell did you do here, shove it all in like a little kid? Your purse is open – Maria, come over here and see this – she’s a mess!” Hahahaha! One came by and pointed to the cover of the book I was reading entitled “The Silent Patient”, and joked “That’s the kind we like!” 

I even began to wonder if what I was getting was “special treatment” reserved for those whose surgeries were personally called-in by the surgeon. Once he arrived, however, it was clear that not only did they not know he was the one who got me in, but they chided him in the same affectionate way. At a point, I said to one of them, “Doctors think they’re all that, but nurses really run the show don’t they?” She winked at me and elbowed me a little, “Like husbands, honey – they just think they’re in charge!” 

I lounged, for over four hours while they stood on what had to be tired feet, hands on hips as they talked to me, telling me which part of the hospital they’d spent the morning in, or where they were headed next in this crazy, all-hands-on-deck environment. We chatted about jobs and kids, and only when the topic of this deadly disease came up did the lack of words become conspicuous. Then it was all a mime of sad shakes of the head and downward glances. 

It occurs to me today that after all of this, I'm not sure I would recognize any of them tomorrow if I saw them on street – nor they me. Of course, we were all masked. But maybe I would – if I could see their eyes again. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that most of all, those eyes conveyed a profound kindness. And laughter, and concern, and compassion, and dedication—and a toughness that allows them to do it all. 

I'll tell you a secret: I am a person who often has a weird response to unexpected kindness - it makes me cry. I welled up more than once yesterday afternoon. I may have been just one of many for them – this is just what they do - but for me, a bond was made. I will always remember them. 

Make no mistake: it’s no hardship to be home in your sweatpants with your gel manicure looking a little ratchet, and your spouse and kids seeming more like houseguests who have overstayed their welcome. Today, I want you to feel really, really blessed and grateful, and if you’re like me, a generally healthy person who never really gave too much thought to the job that these people do, I hope I was able to convey just a little of it. 

That school nurse who rescued me put it this way: “I took an oath when I graduated just as physicians do. I have followed it for 28 years and it has never let me or my patients down.” That whole oath thing is good and important and all, but the heart behind it gives it grace. 

So, if you get an invitation to do one of those car processions where you beep your horn and cheer for the local health care workers as they go in to, or leave, work– get in your car and go. Or, just mail them each a check for a million dollars. Either way.

[undiagnoseddrama]

9. To go where no one has gone before...

So a cystoscopy was booked. A cystoscopy is an endoscopy of your bladder, basically a camera through your urethra to diagnose conditions, investigate etc. There are two main types of cystoscopy; rigid or flexible. Flexible scopes only requires local anaesthetic. A rigid cystoscopy requires general anaesthetic and different instruments can be attached for surgical removal etc.

First of all I had a pre-op. 14.01.19. The usual blood pressure, urine sample, consent forms etc. I had to see a nurse about the risks of the procedure and she said “Right you’re getting bladder Botox procedure and a cystoscopy.”

I was like hell no!! I haven’t agreed to this! I had a look at my notes the consultant had written and it said cystoscopy and Bx. Bx in medical terms means a biopsy. This is where they scrap some cells for further testing. Good job I checked because otherwise I’d never be able to pee with the Botox going on🤣 (usually for severe overactive bladders). I think I embarrassed the nurse a little but you definitely have to be aware of the procedures they’re doing, you have to be aware of your health. Research is key! 🔑

She explained what I might need to bring with me to the hospital; dressing gown, slippers etc for the time in the ambulatory suite - a new department in the Women’s so you don’t have to be under general anaesthetic for these procedures, you’re in and out and can recover at home instead of staying in hospital.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

01.02.19 - D day.

I had to be at the hospital quite early in the morning and mum wanted to stay with me the whole time. We got called in and my mum wasn’t allowed into the suite with me😥 I think she was a little more scared than I was. I was quite relaxed because I thought this would be give me some answers finally!

I went into the room with my bag of tricks and sat down on a ‘blue’ chair (significance of this will come later😅). I sat down next to other women, mainly older than me which can be quite daunting too and just began lightly chatting whilst watching the TV. The women were all in there for different reasons not all cystoscopies.

The nurse called my name, explained the procedure which again they got wrong! She said so you’re here for a cystoscopy of your uterus. Well no, a cystoscopy first off means in the bladder only and I couldn’t understand why they don’t read the notes properly it’s scary how wrong they could be! I corrected her and said it’s my bladder and a possible biopsy. She just gave me a dirty look in disbelief.

Sorry to the nurses who I have embarrassed or insulted but I have to make sure it’s right🤷🏻‍♀️ She gave me a hospital bracelet and them hideous gowns. I got changed, knickers off, the total gross part, put on the dressing gown to match the other ladies and my slippers and went to sit on a ‘red’ chair this time. This meant that was it, you’re on your way. We were all lined up like we’re ready for the slaughter house🐄 👍🏻

We sat patiently till our name was called into the side room, consisting of a desk, a bed, multiple surgical instruments, two nurses and the consultant ready to go down under😫

I sat down first and discussed my condition what they’re going to look for and the procedure. I also weirdly begged for pictures of my bladder as I wanted to see and record it🤷🏻‍♀️ he said I couldn’t take a picture of the screen but the images that go in my notes I could take a picture of so all good!

I laid down on the bed, feet in stirrups and took a deep breath🙈 he sat on the stool cleaned the down below area, with what I presumed was some surgical wipes and then said he’s ready. First of all they fill your bladder with a saline solution they do this using a catheter. The nurse beside me told me to grab her hand. I looked and did. I knew this was going to hurt.

So in it goes. Up my urethra. The instant feeling, I’ll be honest is horrific, an instant wave of feeling sick, I almost asked for a bowl🤢 They told me to pant and breath through it as if I was in labour. I could feel it move every inch into my urethra and then into my bladder. It was then an instant feeling of needing a wee, I panicked a little thinking I was going to wet myself😩 but this was to expand my bladder so it could be seen on the screen.

He pulled out this catheter and the rest of the fluid poured out all down to the floor. I’d thought I’d wet myself but they reassured it was just excess fluid when the tube was removed.

He then grabs the next tool, the cystoscope. My one was flexible, hence the reason I was still awake! So in he goes again feeling the tube move every inch up into your bladder, once it reaches the bladder you get instant relief, actually it’s more comfortable there, if that’s even possible in this situation.

I took my mind off things by looking at the screen. What other time do you get to see the inside of your bladder I was fascinated😏

He never noticed anything malicious, no growths, no reason to take a biopsy. He did find trepidation lines - five of them - which indicates early signs of an OVERACTIVE BLADDER. In your 20s you shouldn’t have any at all! Older ladies and men will have several lines, especially if they overactivity. See the image below!⬇️⬇️⬇️

He checked both my ureters which lead up-to my kidneys. Both looked fine! I then asked what are the red things floating which at first he didn’t notice.

He took a picture and they’re floating blood clots, either from past infection, kidney stone production where blood from the surrounding tissue and then led to my bladder, he had multiple reasons but couldn’t give me a definitive answer.

Interstitial cystitis was not on the cards, he found no signs, so I felt like all of this was a waste of time😭

He took everything out, the nurse dried all the areas, took my feet out the stirrups and then told me to stand up slowly as everything might feel weird.

I sat back on the chair, dressing gown on and talked to the consultant. He prescribed me with 3 months worth of antibiotics (Cefalexin 250mg) as a prophylaxis so my bladder could recover from infections.

He also advised bladder training. So out of caffeinated, fizzy drinks and alcohol only have one a day. Obviously this can be hard if I’m going out, busy day and purely forget but I do try!🥴

I took pictures of the bladder images he took. Left the room and went to sit back on my red chair.

Everything felt out of place down there. I remembered I urgently needed a wee and went to the toilet and to also put some knickers back on.

I expected a scene from Carrie with blood everywhere but for me it was okay. The stinging was there and uncomfortable feeling after but nothing too malicious.

I sat back down, got given one cefalexin to prevent any infection and a tea with biscuits for some energy. The nurses were all lovely during the procedure and very comforting afterwards, some of the women came out white as a sheet, horrible to see them before and after.

I had to sit for half an hour before they took my blood pressure. The nurse called me in, took it, hesitated and said I might have to stay for a while because it was low.

I asked how low because naturally I do have low blood pressure. I have been dancing since I was 4 and the sort of ‘athletic’ element of that as they call it, reduces blood pressure. She was annoyed by this as it wasn’t in my notes before, but I said it wasn’t my fault🤷🏻‍♀️

I was free to go, collected all my stuff, walked out of the suite, awkwardly I felt, and back towards the main waiting room, to see my mums face light up when she saw see me. She genuinely ran to me to get my bag and help me walk.

I was fine, I could walk just everything felt in the wrong place, like they he muddled it all up.🙈 I was exhausted to be fair and we just waited till my dad could pick us up.

We went home, I fell asleep and recovered for the week with some paracetamol and ibuprofen to reduce any swelling.

I experienced some bleeding generally on my pads during the week and definitely when weeing. It just felt like UTI symptoms. The aftercare was just rest really and I was bag to myself in a few days, the ‘everything out of place’ feeling did stay for about a week or so but eventually got back to my normal.

3 months of antibiotics then began...

[majingojira]

Halloween Versus Battle

For a while now, I’ve sort of wanted Death Battle to include Buffy Summers as a contestant so I could see their numbers, but most opponents for her are either too weak (Grimm) or too powerful (Hellboy, Hellsing) by large margins.   But I think I found one for a good fight:  Selene from the Underworld movies. 

So, how would they fare in a Death Battle?!

Let’s go over the three major categories: Offense, Defense, Skills.  

Offense:  Selene has been shown to be able to snap necks, break bones, shatter stone, and performed a classic Mortal Kombat spine-ripper fatality in her most powerful form.   Her biggest move is flipping a fan by ramming it with her shoulder. She was running at top speed at the time building momentum, so there is an asterisk to it. After that, she once kicked Marius, a very large werewolf, about 30ft into a glacier which he was shoved into.  A very strong showing.  Buffy, by contrast, has more lifting feats to her name. Generally, her blows don’t just knock people over, they send them flying.  20 to 30ft in one poor schmuck’s case.  And that’s while holding back. She’s lifted reinforced concrete blocks larger than herself, metal portcullises, steel girders (easily), decapitated a foe with a cymbal, sliced off a woman’s arm with a shard of glass, bent and broke steel prison bars, kicking vamps through brick walls, causing a metal loading garage gate to literally explode into pieces with one hit, shoved her foot through a large demon’s skull, among others.  

Buffy’s physical strength has been compared to Spider-Man, and while not that intense, she is no slouch in the strength department at all. 

I don’t have the math skills to compare that all, but my guess, Buffy has a slight advantage, but not enough to confer an overall advantage.  Next up on offense is weaponry.   Selene has a lot to pull from.  Two Berattea handguns, Walther P99s - both pistols using 9x19mm Parabellum or .40 S&W rounds.  Basically between 9 and 10mm bullets.  Buffy was one felled with a heart shot by a Beretta 92FS and though the bullet didn’t fully penetrate the heart, it got close enough and did enough damage to put her down.  Selene also carries throwing stars (some of which carry explosives), grenades, and knives.   However, every single weapon Selene has is hampered by one thing: most of it is either silver, silver-nitrate based, or silver plated.  Even the grenades are more about getting Silver Nitrate spread around than sheer explosive force.  Silver is a much softer metal compared to lead and other bullet-forming materials.  Meaning they have less penetration and losing the blade’s edge faster. These are great against vampires and werewolves, and some can still kill humans, but ... they are weaker.    Worse, she packs Silver Nitrate bullets, which are basically high-speed paintballs. Lower penetration, and designed to poison the target.  Buffy has a plethora of weaponry at her disposal, depending on what she wants to take with her that day.  I’ll limit the list to the most common things she uses:  Wooden Stakes and Knives; Swords and Axes (mid, large, and throwing); Crossbows;  A Rocket Launcher (M136 AT4) (she’s used it TWICE so I’m counting it); The Scythe ...   The Scythe is OP.  With that thing, she’s deflected bullets, lasers (!), and spells.  She’s cut through superhumanly tough targets as well as slicing through the side of a futuristic armored car.  In one instance, a vampire with Slayer memories used it to cut off the head of Mayor Richard Wilkin’s demon form, killing him instantly. In Buffy’s hands, it’s harmed Maloker, the Old One that created vampires.   The wooden stake can punch in and out of concrete without losing its edge.  And her last weapon is ... the environment.  She will use whatever is around her to enact any advantage she can get.  This includes, but is not limited to, kicking a vampire into the broken branch of a tree to stake it.  

Buffy wins weaponry hands down.  She has a shorter range, but the raw power output overwhelms what Selene is capable of. Or, to put it another way, Selene’s most damaging weapons are her knives and shuriken.  Buffy’s are the Scythe and a Rocket Launcher.  Between Offense and Defense, we have Speed, which aids both.  Now, with Selene’s fully upgraded speed being shown as ‘blur movement’, it might seem she has this in the bag, but Buffy is no slouch either.    Aside from blocking a laser blast while midair from less than 20ft away, she’s dodged lightning at a similar range, deflected pistol shots within 5ft of her being fired, dodged automatic fire, caught crossbow shots from the same range, and set off a bear trap and escaped it by sheer reaction speed.   She’s run roughly/around 60mph in a straight run, which is a lot faster than many people give credit for.   And, really, a lot of her epic speed is over short distances under that blur cloak.  The actual distance over time speed value is remarkably slower.  Still, Selene has the speed advantage, but not the reaction speed.   Because Buffy has a Spider-Sense. In addition to being able to detect vampires (something she’s not very good at initially and has to focus to use) she can use her senses to alert her to danger well before it strikes.  Be it incoming attacks, invisible attackers, or fighting while blinded.  Early on this required a bit of concentration, and to this day, she still needs some focus to attain it (if she’s off her game it doesn’t work so well), but it happens on the turn of a dime rather than needing a few breathes to focus.  So, Between that and the laser deflection/lightning dodging, I’d say they’re equal.   Now we come to durability. There are two categories: Recovery and Armor.  Buffy wins Armor, Selene wins Recovery.  Buffy has had buildings fall on her, taken blows from building wrecking foes (literal gods), and fallen from heights similar to what Selene has done and walked away with no effect.  She was also once in the blast radius of a house-leveling explosion and was just blown away by it (She is tiny after all).  She was once thrown into a stone coffin, shattering it and while it hurt like hell, she wasn’t killed by it.  Nor did being stabbed through the kidney from the back and out the front do more than get an “SSSSS--Aaaah” reaction from her for a minute or so and she was up and fighting again.   She also once blocked a vampire’s cleaver attack with her own arm, and it just cut her. No loss of her hand, just a cut It was a relatively fresh vamp, but still a vamp.   Her recovery rate is very slow but constant.  Aside from the stabbed and got up thing (which she has multiple instances of), she has the endurance to fight for days and can recover from deeper stab wounds (like to the gut) within a day.  Slow, but steady.  To add to this, she’s never bled out from these wounds she’s taken. Including several full impalements.  Selene, being a vampire, has a weakness to silver and decapitation/extreme damage. So she can shrug off most blows that don’t damage her in that way, but they do wear her down.  Instead of outright resisting the blows, she regenerates from them.  This can, when she’s recently fed, force bullets out of her body.   But this recovery is based on how much she’s fed and on what she’s fed on lately.  So, it’s a lot faster than Buffy’s healing factor, but it is not unlimited like Buffy’s, who continues to heal until you put her down.   So they both have their ups and downs here.   Skills are where it gets tricky.   Selene is the best of her elite fighting unite or ‘Death Dealers’ and can think tactically when needing to.  However, her tactics are geared towards her primary foes: Lycans, and later, humans and vampires.  She’s 700 years old and training that time.  She’s trained in Hand to Hand combat (styles unknown, primarily Aikido, Jet Kune Do, and Filipino Kali) as well as with her weaponry.  Acrobatics training is also on the table, along with squad tactics.  Buffy ... Buffy cheats.  Seel all slayers are connected, mentally on a subconscious level.  In the novel “Slayer” by Kiersten White, which is canon with the primary Buffy lore, it’s revealed that all slayers share a dream space.  From this, they get prophetic warnings, as well as share the subconscious memories of past slayers.  This means that (once trained and honed) they aren’t so much learning new fighting moves but remembering them. Given what little we can determine from the first Slayer and the Shadowmen, they likely date back to the earliest parts of human civilization.  I’m going to go with Göbekli Tepe as a starting ballpark estimate.  Which means we’re talking about 12 THOUSAND years. Almost 20 times the experience of Selene.  That’s the upper limit of what this could be.  The lower limit would be pre-Babylonian, some 5 thousand years ago. More than 7 times Selene’s experience.  And it’s shown too, as Buffy has defeated vampires nearly as old (Dracula, 600) or far older (The Master -- well over 1000 years at least) than Selene.  So, Buffy has a wider variety of skills (and weapons she is good with) to call upon.   Her actual fighting style is ... improvisational.  That’s the thing with Buffy. Her fighting repertoire is so broad it’s hard to know what she may throw at an opponent, and it keeps them on their toes.  That includes her habit of treating the locations she fights in like she were Jackie Chan.  Only Aikido and Jiujitsu are mentioned as fighting styles she knows, but she also has a habit of critiquing fight choreography in movies (shown on an old Kung Fu flick).  In Season 5 it is mentioned that she and Giles are working on a hybrid fighting style of their own devising.   And even if you argue that Selene is stronger, and faster than Buffy herself, that’s not much of a perk as she has defeated many foes of greater power than her own.  This includes The Master (a Vampire older than Selene),  Slayer Vampires (Slayers turned into Vampires), Demons far larger than herself,  The Hellgod Glory (With some prep work).   She has also done battle directly with Old Ones/True Demons.  Primarily Maloker, the progenitor of Vampires, and Olvikan, the thing the Mayor became in season 3.  And in Season 11 and 12, I mean that directly.  As in “Ride and slice” attack and harm them. Monsters 20 to 50ft tall or more at the very least. Maloker at full size would be a worthy foe of Godzilla. She fought it, survived, and even managed to hurt it.   Selene ... doesn’t have anything like that.  When she faces a foe stronger than her, she doesn’t outsmart, outmaneuver and somehow survive or win. She gets her ass kicked until she gets a power-up and then outpowers her foe. For all her tactical thinking, it assumed inferiority or at least equal of her foes.  Things of greater power are insurmountable.   Not a good comparison for Selene, and there’s something else that puts Buffy over the top. There’s also something about Buffy that Selene just doesn’t really have a counter for. Buffy’s Mouth.  Buffy has a sharp tongue and keeps her foes off-balanced as best she can with a barrage of quick-witted comments. And for all Selene’s tactical intelligence, her major arcs come from her being manipulated and fooled for over 700 years.  Selene is stoic, driven, and ... a ripe target for Buffy’s style of quipping and sardonic comments.   She’d have a field day with her outfit alone.   This would easily put Selene off her game, in a field where she’s already lagging behind.   Buffy also demonstrates some mental toughness.  Though she has been affected by the hypnotic powers of some vampires, it’s really only because she has a reason to give in to the influence (like any real-world hypnosis).   Finally, it should be mentioned that Vampires in Underworld are ... different from most.  They are shown to die from severe physical trauma -- so decapitation and shoving any weapon through the heart would kill Selene regardless of its make.  She also almost bled out once from massive internal injuries.  Selene’s upgrades have removed the weaknesses to Sunlight and Wolfsbane, but this fact remains:  Selene is easier to kill than the vampires Buffy normally fights in a physical sense.  And the difference in weaknesses is not something that would throw Buffy off her game at all.  She’s dealt with three different varieties of vampires: the standard Vampire, “New Rules” Vampires (which are stronger than classic ones as well as having the ability to shapeshift into certain animals and mist), and Turok’Han “Neanderthal Vampires” who have reinforced chests to make them resistant to staking and they largely ignore holy objects.    So having a “New” Variety of vamp to deal with is no big deal for her.  Buffy herself is still human, so wounds that would kill a human quickly would kill her.  She is denser than a normal human, so doing that is not so easy.   Buffy Summers has clear advantages in weaponry, reaction speed, durability, skill, and mental fortitude.  It seems to me that Buffy can easily send Selene to the Underworld. 

[fishmech]

selections of text from april 2004, within the surviving log i have from a webcomic irc channel

i’ve managed to keep this around since 2004... but the file itself definitely has a lot of missing days that im pretty sure i was in chat, and then there’s other part where there was blatantly a corrupt sector or something on the (various) hard drives it got stored on in the ensuing 16 years..

anyway this is by no means a representative sampling or anything, i’ve just been skimming in and out of the whole file - but as passages struck me i copied them into this post. frankly this is the most ive read out of this file since the chats were actually live!! and it’s deeply weird to delve this far back into my own words let alone a lot of people i vaguely still recognize - and others who i dont remember anything about that username at all.

and some of this stuff is just records of netsplits happening or remnants of some of the weird mIRC scripts I used to run for various reasons, and those are fascinating as an example of how this whole method of chatting like physically functioned.

[00:31:01] <Shiny> Sorcs suck. :/

[00:39:23] <Shiny|AdvanceWars2> o.o

Session Start: Thu Apr 01 15:20:31 2004 Session Ident: #bobandgeorge [15:20:31] * Now talking in #bobandgeorge [15:20:32] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] topic- 12'http://www.bobandgeorge.com | The Helmeted End | http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Other/CalanthaSheet.gif | Chat rules: http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Other/Chat.html | Sai says Moo12' [15:20:32] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] topic- set by 01Dave (12Thu 1st Apr 2004 [00:00:36]) [15:21:42] <Randomius_Pryme> ... dfnogjnetyht8yjhijhyei;rjiyioeojghrheowghwehgiodhsiodugildjnioptijblktjrtkkfgjfklsdfjhrdlrtjdfofjnmgklbikrmnubkfio;mjtmiodtjbnortjktogjtkhnrginbnbrtilnhbiotnmbhnoniortbnibidbnmtibilermibkilrthmrlghhrdfutgjgfjjitjlelkingtnuingheronuouireuh8trjirjirrtjkrtjht sent to 01WebServ [04:15:32] 01*02*12* › CTCP 01VERSION from 01WebServ Replied 12'[00:25] * aftershock has left #cyberchat12' [04:15:32] -Global- [Logon News - Jan 31 2004] DarkMyst is proud to announce the unveiling of one of it's latest projects - our new website. The new, spectacular design better represents us and our new vision. Please take a look at http://www.darkmyst.org. [04:15:32] -Global- [Logon News - Mar 18 2004] DarkMyst is making a new web-based game available to it's users; Legend of the Green Dragon. Based on the old BBS game "Legend of the Red Dragon", we believe many of you will find this to be a very enjoyable game. To play, visit http://www.darkmyst.org/logd/ [04:15:32] -Global- [Logon News - Mar 26 2004] Be sure to check out our newly designed website often to check for news and other updates! Point your browsers to http://www.darkmyst.org [04:15:32] -Global- [Logon News - Mar 26 2004] DarkMyst is seeking a php coder familiar with the old BBS game "Legend of the Red Dragon" to help customize the new web-based game "Legend of the Green Dragon". If you're interested, please speak to Ryan. [04:15:32] 01*02*12* Unknown user mode [04:15:32] -Security- This server runs an open proxy/wingate detection server. If you see a port 1080 or port 23 connection, please disregard it. [04:15:43] -NickServ- King_Peer is not a registered nickname [04:17:01] 01*02*12* [01FishMech98SE] Nickname no longer in use. Changing to nick... [06:40:47] *** AmpArga updated succesfully [06:40:48] * Attempting to rejoin channel #bobandgeorge [06:40:50] -ChanServ- To talk to FishMech first /msg him with "Fuego!" If he doesn't respond, he isn't here, but feel free to play with GameServ! Current stupid link: http://home.comcast.net/faqs/faq06.html [06:40:50] -ChanServ- Password accepted - you now have founder-level access to #Fuego!. [06:40:51] -ChanServ- STFU [06:40:51] -ChanServ- Password accepted - you now have founder-level access to #STFU!. [06:40:51] -ChanServ- STFU! STFU! [06:40:51] -ChanServ- Password accepted - you now have founder-level access to #STFU. [06:40:52] -ChanServ- You misspelled it! The channel you are looking for is #Fuego! Yes, with an "!" [06:40:52] -ChanServ- Password accepted - you now have founder-level access to #Fuego. [06:40:55] -ChanServ- Password accepted - you now have founder-level access to #bng. [06:40:58] -ChanServ- Well, Geemer, i did what you said! [06:41:00] -ChanServ- Password accepted - you now have founder-level access to #insert_any_combo_of_supported_characters. [06:41:02] * Rejoined channel #bobandgeorge [06:41:02] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] topic- 12'http://www.bobandgeorge.com | The Helmeted End | http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Other/CalanthaSheet.gif | Chat rules: http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Other/Chat.html | Sai says Moo12' [06:41:02] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] topic- set by 01Dave (12Thu 1st Apr 2004 [00:00:36]) [06:41:02] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] users- 0136 total user(s) [06:41:02] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] users- 015 op(s) 0113.89% - 0131 other(s) 0186.11% [06:41:02] 01*02*12* 01úúúúúúúú02úúúúúúúú12úúúúúúúú14úúúúúúúú15úúúúúúúú [06:41:02] -ChanServ- Welcome to the Bob and George chatroom! Please check out the rules at: http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Other/Chat.html [06:41:02] 01*02*12* 01úúúúúúúú02úúúúúúúú12úúúúúúúú14úúúúúúúú15úúúúúúúú [06:41:04] * Logixor (lcr@195.46.6.2654) Quit (Ping timeout) [06:41:43] 01*02*12* 01úúúúúúúú02úúúúúúúú12úúúúúúúú14úúúúúúúú15úúúúúúúú [06:41:44] 01*02*12* 01ChanServ is 01services@01darkmyst.org [06:41:44] 01*02*12* 00ChanServ is ®12Channel Service¯ [06:41:44] 01*02*12* 00ChanServ on 01services.darkmyst.org ®12[0.0.0.0] DarkMyst's Services¯ [06:41:44] 01*02*12* 00ChanServ is an IRC Operator [06:41:44] 01*02*12* 01úúúúúúúú02úúúúúúúú12úúúúúúúú14úúúúúúúú15úúúúúúúú [06:41:53] 01*02*12* 01ChanServ is 01services@01darkmyst.org [06:41:53] 01*02*12* 00ChanServ is ®12Channel Service¯ [06:41:53] 01*02*12* 00ChanServ on 01services.darkmyst.org ®12[0.0.0.0] DarkMyst's Services¯ [06:41:53] 01*02*12* 00ChanServ is an IRC Operator [06:41:53] 01*02*12* 01úúúúúúúú02úúúúúúúú12úúúúúúúú14úúúúúúúú15úúúúúúúú [06:41:56] <Sting> If I may recommend a remixer, y'all need to listen to some of Mazedude's stuff. [06:45:26] <JediDrunkenLlama> awww...poor Infernomancer... [06:45:34] <JediDrunkenLlama> and away I go!...for a soda. [06:47:54] <Forai> JDL reads demonic degan? [06:48:08] <JediDrunkenLlama> yep, got turned on to it by Sting and Urch. [06:48:13] <Forai> same [06:49:37] <Sting> Heheheh. [06:49:42] <Forai> http://www.ozyandmillie.org/ <JDL try this one [06:50:00] <Forai> !Spanish Godzilla: BUENO! [06:50:13] <Sting> DAMN! [06:50:33] <Sting> Poor Infernomancer! [06:50:44] <Forai> yeah [06:50:48] <Sting> Never fear, though! tIm shall have his revenge! [06:50:51] <Forai> but that's what ya get for attacking the star [06:51:32] <Sting> Pff. [06:51:36] <Sting> Damn plot devices. [06:51:48] <JediDrunkenLlama> dude, don't forget Karnak. [06:53:00] <Sting> Karnak's not gonna help him, now. [06:53:09] <Sting> He knows too much, it'd be best to let the threat die. [06:55:03] * Geemer (florian_g@dm-23944.dsl.hccnet.nl) has joined #bobandgeorge [06:55:17] <Geemer> hi [06:55:25] <JediDrunkenLlama> so you're saying that Karnak himself won't attack the son of his target? [06:55:55] * Miji (ninja@dm-14122.dsl.austtx.swbell.net) Quit (Exit: <CompuMan> The tragedy of Canada is they could have had British culture, French cooking, and American technology, but instead they got American culture, British cooking, and French technology.)

[07:35:35] <JediDrunkenLlama> I hate my subconscious :) [07:36:07] <JediDrunkenLlama> <JDL_Underbrain> Hmmm...he's perusing that Electronic Gaming Monthly.  I bet he wants to be JUST LIKE Seanbaby!  Let's make that dream of his come true! [07:39:40] <JediDrunkenLlama> HOLY FUCK!  Little Gamers did an actual INTELLIGENT (or not, depending on your definition of smarts) bashing of RIAA? [07:40:14] * Crash (Greg.Harm@dm-29034.wdc2-4.16.145.185.wdc2.dsl-verizon.net) has joined #Bobandgeorge [07:40:14] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] Clones: 2 from Crash (Sting) CtrlF1 whois; ShiftF8 ping [07:40:15] * Rena[Sleep] (rena-chan@dm-12755.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer) [07:40:34] <Crash> And there I am, still. [07:40:41] <Crash> I arrived before I left, once more. [07:40:42] * Geemer (florian_g@dm-23944.dsl.hccnet.nl) Quit (immortal.se.eu.darkmyst.org anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org) [07:40:43] * Sting (Greg.Harm@dm-29034.wdc2-4.16.145.185.wdc2.dsl-verizon.net) Quit (immortal.se.eu.darkmyst.org anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org) [07:40:43] * Kol{Sleeping} (Kolock99@dm-17361.mac.uaf.edu) Quit (immortal.se.eu.darkmyst.org anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org) [07:40:43] * Forai (supercala@dm-18058.mlrbrg01.pa.comcast.net) Quit (immortal.se.eu.darkmyst.org anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org) [07:40:43] * Urebaaknit (aozy89@dm-20115.dsl.pipex.com) Quit (immortal.se.eu.darkmyst.org anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org) [07:40:43] * Lex24 (Lexington@dm-1651.bagu.cable.ntl.com) Quit (immortal.se.eu.darkmyst.org anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org) [07:40:43] * @ChanServ (services@darkmyst.org) Quit (immortal.se.eu.darkmyst.org anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org) [07:40:54] <Crash> mIRC is the only place where I can time travel, and not unravel the universe. [07:41:56] <JediDrunkenLlama> that's something that Einstein didn't take into any of his mystical magic equations [07:42:19] <Crash> Indeed, the senile old coot. [07:44:27] * ChanServ (services@darkmyst.org) has joined #bobandgeorge [07:44:27] * Lex24 (Lexington@dm-1651.bagu.cable.ntl.com) has joined #bobandgeorge [07:44:27] * Urebaaknit (aozy89@dm-20115.dsl.pipex.com) has joined #bobandgeorge [07:44:27] * Forai (supercala@dm-18058.mlrbrg01.pa.comcast.net) has joined #bobandgeorge [07:44:27] * Kol{Sleeping} (Kolock99@dm-17361.mac.uaf.edu) has joined #bobandgeorge [07:44:28] * Geemer (florian_g@dm-23944.dsl.hccnet.nl) has joined #bobandgeorge [07:44:28] * anlx.uk.eu.darkmyst.org sets mode: +o ChanServ [07:44:39] [WebServ VERSION] [07:44:39] 01*02*12* › Reply of 01VERSION : 01I am using CelAMP SongDisplay By Cel. sent to 01WebServ [07:44:39] 01*02*12* › Reply of 01VERSION : 01I'm not currently listening to anything, so nothing to show you. sent to 01WebServ [07:44:39] 01*02*12* › Reply of 01VERSION : 01Omai wa sono uchi, sakana to ishoo ni onemu suru koto ni naru, zo! sent to 01WebServ [07:44:39] 01*02*12* › Reply of 01VERSION : 01:Kvblndfnogjnetyht8yjhijhyei;rjiyioeojghrheowghwehgiodhsiodugildjnioptijblktjrtkkfgjfklsdfjhrdlrtjdfofjnmgklbikrmnubkfio;mjtmiodtjbnortjktogjtkhnrginbnbrtilnhbiotnmbhnoniortbnibidbnmtibilermibkilrthmrlghhrdfutgjgfjjitjlelkingtnuingheronuouireuh8trjirjirrtjkrtjht sent to 01WebServ [07:44:40] 01*02*12* › CTCP 01VERSION from 01WebServ Replied 12'[07:50] * dnai has joined #cyberchat12'

14:28:13] * Elegy (hellcat90@dm-36682.elkrdg01.md.comcast.net) has joined #bobandgeorge [14:28:14] 01*02*12* [01#bobandgeorge] Clones: 2 from Elegy (Concerto) CtrlF1 whois; ShiftF8 ping [14:28:18] <Key> Concerto [14:28:22] * Elegy (hellcat90@dm-36682.elkrdg01.md.comcast.net) has left #bobandgeorge [14:28:25] <DarkPredator> Not changing the story... compleatling the story. [14:28:29] <Key> Stop having your sex bot coming in and out. [14:28:31] <Concerto> My soundcard keeps dying. [14:28:41] <Concerto> So I have to log out to get it working again. [14:28:43] <Desert_Wolf> :/ [14:28:52] <DarkPredator> ... sounds like fun... [14:29:10] <Key> Sucks for you. [14:29:13] <Concerto> IT'S NOT FUN!  IT'S ANNOYING! [14:29:18] <Key> I suggest getting a new better one. [14:29:30] <Concerto> I shouldn't have to!  This computer is brand-new! [14:29:31] <10FishMech98SE> I've got a spare soundcard [14:29:42] <Entrail> The hell is this!? [14:29:48] * Eiko is listening to 12894. The Song of MF - I Like To Move It (1:35) [14:29:49] * Entrail CRACKS Eiko [14:29:52] * Eiko enjoys it [14:29:56] <Entrail> VIOLATED [14:30:00] <Zenith-Studying> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY IT! [14:30:14] <DarkPredator> Concerto... What kind of sound card is it exactly? [14:30:29] <Concerto> Um, I haven't cracked the box open to look. [14:30:31] * Desert_Wolf goes back to abducting DarkPredator [14:30:47] * Randomius_Pryme steals Desert Wolf. [14:30:54] <10FishMech98SE> Heck, i have 3 spare soundcards, 2 spare Ethernat cards, 1 spare video card, and 2 spare 56k modems [14:31:02] * Desert_Wolf is stolen after he abducts DarkPredator [14:31:09] <Concerto> It's the generic kind that Gateway buys for their computers [14:31:27] * Zipp[AFK] is now known as Zippr [14:31:39] <DarkPredator> ... Gateway Sound cards are shit [14:31:45] <Randomius_Pryme> FishMech: HARDWARE FUSION!!! [14:31:49] <DarkPredator> Get something else and shove in it if possible [14:31:52] <Eiko> Random quote: <Karnak> Cathy: AACK! I'm too fat for this bathing suit! Where the hell is my nose? [14:31:53] <Concerto> The other one works fine...on the other machine... [14:31:57] <10FishMech98SE> Now if i didn't need postage to give people my spare computer stuff... [14:31:59] <Eiko> One of the 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the US Army: An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape. [14:32:09] <DarkPredator> I had a Gateway laptop and the sound card keep dying on me... so I had to buy a dell @.o... and got rid of the gateway... [14:32:30] <DarkPredator> Also the gateway desktop in the other room has Soundcard issues... that cause it to have to be shut down.

[14:54:12] <Randomius_Pryme> Where's Urch? [14:54:22] <Lex24> ASG [14:54:23] <Urebaaknit> Esengard? [14:54:24] <Lex24> A [14:54:25] <Milly> Urch goes to hollywood. [14:54:25] <Lex24> ON [14:54:28] <Lex24> FRENCH [14:54:29] <Lex24> PAPER [14:54:30] <MidwinterIspriting> www.angelfire.com/comics/midwinter/fx.PNG <<< new work [14:54:33] <Milly> TINK! [14:54:35] <a_subtle_gesture> YES, lex! [14:54:37] * Milly tackleglomps. [14:54:38] <Lex24> =D [14:54:42] <Urebaaknit> You finally worked it out :D [14:54:50] <Lex24> I owe you big time ASG [14:54:50] <a_subtle_gesture> was my help handy? [14:54:53] <Urch> I'm not here. [14:54:56] <Lex24> Yup =D [14:54:57] <Randomius_Pryme> I vote that we put France in upper orbit... [14:54:58] <a_subtle_gesture> you're welcome [14:55:02] <Milly> I already worked it out, hon. You didn't respond. ^_^ [14:55:10] <Randomius_Pryme> And Belgium. [14:55:16] <Lex24> I got a B overall which wasn't bad since I did the foundation level on all my exam papers [14:55:17] <Sting> Are there boobs on that sprite? [14:55:26] <Lex24> Maximum on foundation papers is a C [14:55:37] <Lex24> I got high marks in most of those [14:55:49] <StormyD> Yes, Sting. How observant of you. [14:55:57] <MidwinterIspriting> on bottom set yes. The chest plate is pretty tight on FX so thats why it doesnt show [14:56:02] <Lex24> I CAN do French but I have no idea how to write large amounst of it [14:56:06] <Sting> Then they're fascinating sprites. [14:56:08] <Lex24> amounts^ [14:56:15] <Concerto> I vote that we float all of Europe but Germany and Greece. [14:56:17] <MidwinterIspriting> =^_^= [14:56:35] * DarkPredator (Person@216.78.167.33923) Quit (Exit: There are more things in heaven and earth Horatio, than are dreamt of in your Philosophy.) [14:56:58] <Lex24> Frost, those titties look sharp enough to cut glass [14:57:11] <Randomius_Pryme> COOL! [14:57:13] * Shiori (Shiori@dm-28760.a2000.nl) has joined #bobandgeorge [14:57:14] <Desert_Wolf> O_o [14:57:19] <Lex24> Actually.... sprite that! [14:57:26] <Naota> ... [14:57:33] <StormyD> o.O [14:57:41] <Sting> >XD

14|23:55:56 * Ryx_Euclie (none@dm-18250.dsl.emhril.ameritech.net) has joined #bobandgeorge 14|23:56:04 * Ryx_Euclie is now known as Dave 14|23:56:11 <Dustin> Orta is a fabulous piece of art with an excellent game thrown in for good measure 14|23:56:22 <Dave> im closing bng 14|23:56:32 <Dogadon> Uh.. whatever.. 14|23:56:36 * Dave (none@dm-18250.dsl.emhril.ameritech.net) has left #bobandgeorge 14|23:56:37 <Toronto> Faker! 14|23:56:48 <Dogadon> What the hell just happened? 14|23:57:01 * Calantha sets mode: +b *!*@*.dsl.emhril.ameritech.net 14|23:57:09 <Toronto> The REAL Dave would have given a needlessly complicated reason 14|23:57:52 <Surge> ............. 14|23:57:59 <Jissy> ... 14|23:58:02 <Surge> That was utterly friggin stoopid with a capital wtf. 14|23:58:11 <Jissy> Need more Advil... 14|23:58:34 <Charmega> Need...pepto! 14|23:58:38 * Charmega stomach implodes 14|23:58:48 <Surge> Be ironic if the real Dave came in here and said he was going to close Bob and George down. x.X 14|23:58:53 <Surge> That would wig me out. 14|23:59:00 <Ronald_MacK> There is no real Dave. 14|23:59:06 <Ronald_MacK> He's a character. 14|23:59:10 <Ronald_MacK> Liss writes and makes the comics. 14|23:59:38 <Dustin> Yiff yiff. 14|23:59:43 <Toronto> Quote I say! Quote! 14|23:59:44 <@Calantha> (135) - Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes. - Walt Whitman 14|23:59:45 <Amdoran> Anyone know of ANY sites that don't penalize for Remote Loading? 14|23:59:45 <Ronald_MacK> ... 14|23:59:53 <Toronto> Geocities.com 14|23:59:58 * Denelian (Den-sama@dm-8483.telia.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer) Session Time: Thu Apr 15 00:00:00 2004 15|00:00:03 <Ronald_MacK> Photobucket. 15|00:00:31 <Toronto> comcast.net 's home page builder, but you need to have Comcast Internet for it 15|00:01:16 <Skye_Alpha> Mario Sunshine discussion? 15|00:01:17 <Skye_Alpha> o.o 15|00:01:22 <Surge> I THROW BEDLAM. 15|00:01:30 <Toronto> Rampages are fun! 15|00:01:31 * Surge throws....bedlam....whatever it may be 15|00:01:39 * Toronto is now known as FishMEch98SE 15|00:01:42 * FishMEch98SE is now known as FishMech98SE 15|00:01:47 <Surge> JESUS! It's Fishmech. 15|00:01:55 <10FishMech98SE> BOO! 15|00:02:00 <Dustin> FISHMECH! It's Jesus.

17|11:22:33 <KingForte> What IS Pokemon Snap? 17|11:22:49 <Blade_Serpent> An N64 game. 50 bucks. 3 hours to beat. 17|11:22:50 <@Tails_Corra> It was kinda sad though that I beat it on the first run through >_> 17|11:22:53 <Blade_Serpent> >.< 17|11:22:54 * Dogadon (Do@80.41.3.16738) Quit (Exit: Client exiting) 17|11:23:07 <@Tails_Corra> It was an..... original concept, I suppose 17|11:23:11 <10FishMech98SE> Blade: it only costs $15 nowadays 17|11:23:13 <KingForte> Great. 17|11:23:21 <Blade_Serpent> Big surprise. 17|11:23:30 <Blade_Serpent> Hmmm. 17|11:23:36 <Juke> And B&W only costs 10 at Wal-Mart with the expansion. 17|11:23:44 <Blade_Serpent> Anyone on right now that plays Warcraft 3? I seek a combat. 17|11:23:52 <KingForte> Recoloring don't cost money. 17|11:23:58 * KingForte is now known as KingForte|Recoloring 17|11:24:14 <Scout> TFT or RoC? 17|11:24:46 * Geemer is now known as Geemer[GunBound] 17|11:26:17 <10FishMech98SE> Skip growled, only a tentacle covered his mouth halfway through and he had to repeat himself. "They said I was crazy for mixing peanut butter and jelly together, but I wasn't. I was crazy for thinking the resulting combination was lighter than air and filling a blimp with it." 17|11:27:46 <Lucon> XD 17|11:28:12 <Blade_Serpent> FT. 17|11:28:46 <Blade_Serpent> Or RoC, I don't care. 17|11:29:17 * Geemer[GunBound] is now known as Geemer 17|11:29:46 <Blade_Serpent> Ugh. Gunbound. Worms, without the whole fun part. 17|11:29:58 * Skye_Alpha|Away is now known as Skye_Alpha 17|11:30:40 <Gamesicker> you are right<Blade_Serpent> 17|11:31:30 <Skye_Alpha> :O 17|11:31:52 <Lucon> Unh unh unh unh.  Where is it? 17|11:32:03 * Geemer is now known as Geemer[GunBound] 17|11:32:22 <Lucon> I think I'll make that my new quit. 17|11:32:28 <KingForte|Recoloring> Geemer likes his GunBound, does he? 17|11:32:44 <Geemer[GunBound]> yesh 17|11:32:44 * TallgeeseVI (joseph@64.136.159.17257) has joined #bobandgeorge

25|15:53:37 * Surge catches Chocobos 25|15:53:41 <Vort-chan|Homework> what does spoony mean? 25|15:53:46 <FishMech98SE> Wacky 25|15:53:49 <Surge> Use it in a sentence. 25|15:53:54 <Pichu0102[afk]> You spoony chocobo! 25|15:53:55 <Vort-chan|Homework> Spoony bard 25|15:53:58 <Surge> ... 25|15:53:59 <FishMech98SE> 'You spoony bard!' 25|15:54:03 <Pichu0102[afk]> XD 25|15:54:04 <Surge> ALl your spoony bard are belong to us, right? 25|15:54:16 [Pichu0102[afk] SOUND] 25|15:54:16 <Surge> Now where the hell do I remember that from.... 25|15:54:23 <FishMech98SE> ALL YOUR power converters ARE BELONG TO US 25|15:54:25 <Concerto> Spoony Bard! 25|15:54:40 * Concerto is SINISTAR 25|15:54:42 * FishMech98SE listens to Doug's Garage Band - Bangin' On a Trash Can, which is #459 of 693 25|15:54:54 [Pichu0102[afk] SOUND] 25|15:55:15 <Dastardish-Neko> http://67.18.37.14/82/100/upload/av-1.gif <--- I feel so neko. =^_^= 25|15:55:24 * Lex24 is now known as William_Tell 25|15:55:32 * Pichu0102[afk] SOUND] 25|15:55:35 <Surge> William Tell! 25|15:55:38 <Surge> HOly biscuit. 25|15:55:45 * FishMech98SE is now known as Bob 25|15:55:46 <Pichu0102[afk]> [SOUND] 25|15:55:47 <Pichu0102[afk]> :O 25|15:55:56 * Dastardish-Neko is ready to gaught the arrow. 25|15:55:57 <Pichu0102[afk]> DAT J00 B0B?!?? 25|15:56:06 <Surge> n0p3 25|15:56:07 * Bob growls at Pichu 25|15:56:14 <Dastardish-Neko> No it's not my boob Pichy. 25|15:56:21 <Pichu0102[afk]> ... 25|15:56:23 <Concerto> Oh, I have to give people Pichu.wav ... 25|15:56:25 <Dastardish-Neko> *pichu. 25|15:56:26 <Pichu0102[afk]> o_O 25|15:56:47 <Randomius_Pryme> No. 25|15:56:53 * Cronos is now known as Altor 25|15:56:59 * William_Tell is now known as Lex24|Painting 25|15:57:07 * Bob listens to Tesla - Morse code's history. In morse code., which is #531 of 693 25|15:57:18 <a_subtle_gesture> ..cool. 25|15:57:20 <Surge> pfft 25|15:57:36 * ThndrShk2k (ikickyour@dm-1498.agstme.adelphia.net) has left #bobandgeorge 25|15:57:42 <Concerto> http://www.geocities.com/hellcat9000/pichu.wav 25|15:58:40 * Randomius_Pryme starts humming the theme for Monty Python's Flying Circus. 25|15:58:47 <Surge> XD I think DF was making a point in his latest comics... 25|15:58:53 <Surge> *is 25|15:59:02 <Surge> Stupid tense. 25|15:59:11 <Pichu0102[afk]> :O 25|15:59:43 * Randomius_Pryme thinks for a moment.

27|16:39:00 *** AmpArga updated succesfully 27|16:39:08 <gornotck> It should have been Hallie_Lowe. 27|16:39:26 <Zenith> Mawwaige! 27|16:39:28 <Velcant> Now there's a line to walk in on. Gorn calling something sweet. 27|16:39:32 <Hallie-JDL> ^^ 27|16:42:09 <Keighan> Er... 27|16:42:47 <Hallie-JDL> Right. 27|16:42:52 <Hallie-JDL> Anyway. 27|16:43:04 * Lex24 (Lexington@dm-1651.bagu.cable.ntl.com) has joined #bobandgeorge 27|16:43:32 <Bob> UOoU§Acÿ? 27|16:43:32 <Bob> U:sšö¬æOOI‘¢?ª= 27|16:43:39 * @iX uses the Trout Buster on Bob! 27|16:43:40 <@Sarah> Stop that 27|16:44:33 * Shiny (Shiny@dm-6858.client.comcast.net) has joined #bobandgeorge 27|16:44:40 <Cicero> OMG IZ SHINY :OOOOOOO 27|16:44:52 * @Daisuke (dave@216.159.163.16729) Quit (Connection reset by peer) 27|16:44:55 <Shiny> Cicero lolololomkokilololilol 27|16:45:04 <Cicero> omk? 27|16:45:14 <Deathguise> Anyobody else interested in voice chat, or am I just going to lone in the room? 27|16:45:17 <Shiny> Yes. Own Your...Keys. 27|16:45:36 * Shiny slips into PM land. 27|16:45:55 * Hallie-JDL was already there

[anastpaul]

Saint of the Day – Saint Pope Pius V OP (1504-1572) – born Antonio Ghislieri (from 1518 called Michele Ghislieri, OP) 17 January 1504 at Bosco, diocese of Alessandria, Lombardy, Italy, was head of the Catholic Church and ruler of the Papal States from 8 January 1566 to his death in 1572.   He died on 1 May 1572 in Rome, Italy, apparently of a renal disorder caused by kidney stones.   He was a reformer, an apostle of prayer and charity, a great organiser, Marian devotee and apostle of the Holy Rosary, lover of the Holy Cross.  Pius V was highly ascetic. 

He wore a hair shirt beneath the simple habit of a Dominican friar (for which reason he is often attributed with the institution of the White cassock worn by the Holy Father) and was often seen in bare feet.  In the time of a great famine in Rome he imported corn at his own expense from Sicily and France, a considerable part of which he distributed among the poor and sold the rest to the public at a very low price.  After the papal election, instead of hosting an elaborate banquet, he ordered that the food be given to people in real need.   Tradition holds that he once restored a beggar’s severed foot.

He is chiefly notable for his role in the Council of Trent, the Counter-Reformation, the Battle of Lepanto and the standardisation of the Roman rite within the Latin Church. Pius V declared Thomas Aquinas a Doctor of the Church.

As a cardinal, Ghislieri gained a reputation for putting orthodoxy before personalities, prosecuting eight French bishops for heresy.   He also stood firm against nepotism, rebuking his predecessor Pope Pius IV to his face when he wanted to make a 13-year-old member of his family a cardinal and subsidise a nephew from the papal treasury.

By means of the papal bull of 1570, Regnans in Excelsis, Pius V excommunicated Elizabeth I of England for heresy and persecution of English Catholics during her reign. He also arranged the formation of the Holy League, an alliance of Catholic states to combat the advancement of the Ottoman Empire in Eastern Europe. 

Although outnumbered, the Holy League famously defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Lepanto in 1571.   St Pius V attributed the victory to the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and instituted the feast of Our Lady of Victory.   Biographers report that as the Battle of Lepanto ended, Pius rose and went over to a window, where he stood gazing toward the East. “…Looking at the sky, he cried out, ‘A truce to business, our great task at present is to thank God for the victory which He has just given the Christian army’.”

Pope Pius V was from a poor Italian family and had entered the Dominican order at age 14.   A teacher, a master of novices, a bishop and finally a cardinal, he was a strict and honest man, as well as a zealous reformer.   He wept when he was told in 1566 that he had been elected pope.   The 18-year-long Council of Trent had ended 3 years before and he, as Holy Father, had the task of implementing it.

The previous pope had been easygoing but Pius V made immediate changes.   At first, the people complained that the atmosphere of Rome became like that of a monastery.   But soon the pope’s personal character changed their minds.   He ordered that the gifts given at his coronation be sent to hospitals and to those in need.   The Church finances were examined, the army was reduced and the lifestyles of the cardinals and bishops were simplified.   Seminaries were established, synods were held, dioceses were organised, and parish priests were called to regular meetings.   A new catechism was completed.   Parish priests were made responsible for Catholic education.   The Roman Missal became the sole Mass book for the Western Church (with a few minor exceptions) for four centuries.

His first care as Pope was to reform the Roman court and capital by the strict example of his household and the severe punishment of all offenders.   He next endeavoured to obtain from the Catholic powers the recognition of the Tridentine decrees, two of which he urgently enforced-the residence of bishops and the establishment of diocesan seminaries.

He revised the Missal and Breviary and reformed the ecclesiastical music.   Nor was he less active in protecting the Church.

We see him at the same time supporting the Catholic King of France against the Huguenot rebels, encouraging Mary Queen of Scots, in the bitterness of her captivity and excommunicating her rival the usurper Elizabeth, when the best blood of England had flowed upon the scaffold and the measure of her crimes was full.

But it was at Lepanto that the Saint’s power was most manifest, there, in October, 1571, by the holy league which he had formed but still more by his prayers to the great Mother of God, the aged Pontiff crushed the Ottoman forces and saved Christendom from the Turk.

St Pius was accustomed to kiss the feet of his crucifix on leaving or entering his room. One day the feet moved away from his lips.   Sorrow filled his heart and he made acts of contrition, fearing that he must have committed some secret offence but still he could not kiss the feet.   It was afterwards found that they had been poisoned by an enemy.

After only six years as pope, Pius V died of a painful disease, of which he had never complained.   He was buried in the chapel of St Andrea which was close to the tomb of Pope Pius III, in the Vatican. Although his will requested he be buried in Bosco, Pope Sixtus V built a monument in the chapel of SS. Sacramento in the Liberian basilica. His remains were transferred there on 9 January 1588.  The front of his tomb has a lid of gilded bronze which shows a likeness of the dead pope. Most of the time this is left open to allow the veneration of the saint’s remains.

Portrait of Pius V by Pierre Le Gros on the tomb

In 1696, the process of Pius V’s canonisation was started through the efforts of the Master of the Order of Preachers, Antonin Cloche.   He also immediately commissioned a representative tomb from the sculptor Pierre Le Gros the Younger, to be erected in the Sistine Chapel of the Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore.   The pope’s body was placed in it in 1698.   Pope Pius V was beatified by Pope Clement X in the year 1672 and was Canonised by Pope Clement XI (1700–21) on 22 May 1712.

Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman declared that:

 “St Pius V was stern and severe, as far as a heart burning and melted with divine love could be so … Yet such energy and vigour as his were necessary for the times.   He was a soldier of Christ in a time of insurrection and rebellion, when in a spiritual sense, martial law was proclaimed.”

Saint of the Day – Saint Pope Pius V (1504-1572) Saint of the Day - Saint Pope Pius V OP (1504-1572) - born Antonio Ghislieri (from 1518 called…

[nopakun]

(1st pic) Demolass, looking down upon lesser being, before she bludgeon them to death with The Sword and The Stone.

(Yeah, THAT sword in the stone. What are you going to do bout it? King Arthur?)

(2nd) Demolass, yearning for the good old days she can passed out in an alley and woke up with 2 kidneys.

(3rd) First ever full body test, which my sister doesn’t like very much, but she keeps the alternate boots design in mind.

She also doesn’t like her hair.

(4th) Expressions test.

 [Ullapool Caber] wasn’t even OP, it was incredibly fun to use. (via reddit) I swear I will bomb that man’s ass for that terrible opinion.)

Also it was the moment the decision to make her taller than RED (m) Demoman was made.She will stand range from 183 cm to 254 cm. You’ll get a star if you know why [it is a reference!]

(5th) Just few doodles.

(6th) Weapons test/ Also arguing if she will drink from a metal keg or a wooden barrel. A metal keg would fit BLU’s aesthetic more, but I am pretty sure she won’t be able to use a straw directly on it. 

BTW: Fan made weapon

The Sword and The Stone (Place holder name)

Base damage 65, Mini crit 88 critical hit 195

This weapon has a large melee range and deploy and holster slower.

- -20% fire rate.

+ This weapon can deflect projectile. Deflected projectile deals mini crit.

(because everyone hates sandman’s stun)

(and melee parry isn’t a thing in TF2)

(but seriously, I want a really heavy blunt trauma weapon.)

[gunnerpalace]

A Rant About The Dark Knight Rises and Alfred Pennyworth in General

A lot of stupid things happened in The Dark Knight Rises. I want you to think about Bruce Wayne sitting in an airport in Central Asia, playing Angry Birds as he waits for his flight back to America. Maybe doodling a design out for the giant bat made of flammable fluid he draws on the bridge caisson while Gordon thinks he’s being led to his execution. (I like to think he was going to draw fine detail, but messed up and hastily filled it in.)

But the absolute stupidest thing is that Catwoman killed Bane.

Why? Alfred. Alfred has a lot of different backstories. In Christopher Nolan’s continuity, Alfred is imagined to have served with the British Special Air Service. There doesn’t seem to be any indication this is quite canon, but Michael Caine subscribed to the idea and portrayed him as such:

Michael Caine said, when playing the character, “Because I was a soldier, and I had this voice of this Sergeant and that’s his voice. And I always imagined him to be S.A.S. – which is our special forces.” 

This later became comic canon and the basis for a pending TV show. If we assume he’s about the same age as Michael Caine himself was when the film was shot, he’d be around 79 years old and born sometime around 1933. He would’ve been too young for WW2, but Burma had decades of conflict. We can infer from what he says regarding the Joker:

With respect Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that you don't fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.

that he was involved with the post-independence conflict there, and that his unit was officially “not there.”

In other words, Alfred is a battle-hardened, black ops, special forces soldier. He is an even more deadly character than the former Royal Marine that Michael Caine played in Harry Brown. You know, this Michael Caine:

The same one who snarls, “You two are a right pair of cunts!”

Okay, so what does this have to do with The Dark Knight Rises? Well, first of all, it’s just Chekhov’s Gun: why bring up Alfred’s past, even obliquely, if nothing comes of it in the end?

Rather more thematically, Alfred has been there for all of Bruce Wayne’s life, only to desert him in his darkest hour and have no role in it. It’s not emotionally satisfying.

Finally, as Michael Caine himself has noted in real life, crime is largely a function of poverty. A common critique of Bruce Wayne is that by dressing up as a vigilante and circumventing the law, rather than using his wealth to try and address economic inequality, he is actually exacerbating the very problems he nominally fights against. (A common theme is that Batman creates his own rogues’ gallery just by existing, especially the Joker.) Batman is essentially a hobby of revenge for Bruce Wayne, and a very inconsistent one at that. (Notice how he leaves  R'as al-Ghul to die after the latter he suggests he’ll do no such thing, but saves the Joker despite the latter’s insistence he’ll have to be killed. Christopher Nolan’s Batman is ultimately just a contrarian asshole.)

Alfred should’ve been the one to kill Bane. Where Catwoman shot him with that cannon, it should’ve been Alfred stabbing him in the kidneys with one blade, and then casually slitting his throat with another. Bane’s massive bulk topples over, and there’s little old Alfred. "I told you, Mr. Wayne. It might also mean saving your life. And that is more important," he says, before spitting on Bane’s corpse and growling out, “Cunt.” Why not? Make it shocking, like when Morgan Freeman swears in Wanted. Give him a vicious side. Let us see the old him.

This gives thematic closure on Alfred’s backstory, his commitment to Bruce, and ultimately his willingness to do what Bruce will not. He would be, for one last time, cleaning up Bruce’s messes and being the help he needs by doing what he not just won’t, but can’t.

Because really, that’s what Batman is: a toff playing around with “justice” and in equal parts escalating and causing these apocalyptic problems that he is “saving” everyone from. It should hardly be surprising that it takes someone from a lower class to come in and fix his problems. It would’ve been a far more powerful closure to not just Bruce and Alfred’s relationship, but to Batman’s “career.”

Stepping away from The Dark Knight Trilogy itself, we can take this even further, as a kind of reinvention of Jeeves and Wooster. You can imagine Alfred inventing, say, Red Hood as a kind of convenient myth to explain how all Batman’s enemies wind up dead. I don’t even mean him dressing up as Red Hood, but just invoking him as an idea.

The Riddler is shot through the head by a sniper in the middle of taunting Batman. Batman, clearly shocked, exclaims, "Alfred, someone shot the Riddler!"

Meanwhile, Alfred is cleaning his sniper rifle on a rooftop a mile away. "Good heavens, sir! Must be that Red Hood fellow again!"

Basically, Alfred should be like Norman Burg from The Big O but even more so, and it’s a shame he was completely wasted in the movie.

[mybumpbirthandbeyond]

Fire is the Test of Gold

I’ve openly said in my previous blog posts that I’m depressed. A lot has played a part in that, but by now, you probably have a snippet of context from the post Gráinne and I shared on my mental health.

The illnesses have stopped me in my tracks. They were not anticipated, and nor would I have ever expected to have that many, or suffer that long each time. Every single month from October 2021. That cut off my outlet – exercise. I haven’t been able to get any consistency or progress in the gym as a result, and I feel like a beginner every time I go back. Exercise has always been my way of coping with my diastasis and the mental toll it takes. Having that taken away from me every few weeks, has not helped in the slightest.

In turn, I haven’t been able to channel my frustration about the fact the aesthetics just will not change this time – no matter what I do, and no matter how hard I work. I feel like I’m trapped in a constant downward spiral. I get my head above water, gasp for breath, then immediately get dragged back down again.

I now realise it’s more than likely my work which has caused the illnesses and I’m convinced I’m burning out. I came back from maternity leave to a short-staffed team, low morale and within weeks I was given a whole other territory to cover as well as my own. Basically, I was doing the job of two people and I did that for 6 months until the start of August. I was off work twice with illness within a couple of months, when I had only ever been off once before in 5 years with suspected kidney stones. Coupled with the fact I had only just returned from maternity leave, I felt I couldn’t then take annual leave. By the time I reached July, I had taken 3 and half days total and have reached a point where a break isn’t just required, it is absolutely vital. I go to sleep, and wake up as drained as when I went to sleep. On weekends, I’m regularly napping when the kids nap, because I literally have no energy. I’m just exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. 

Do you know how difficult it is to try and not think about surgery? I do my damnedest to not think about it, then something always reminds me. I get a random message from someone who is now post-op. I have to arrange a trip to Dublin for work and I think, is this one of the last before the date? I get followed on Instagram by plastic surgeons in Spain. You really couldn’t have made this stuff up, and yet it happens just when I think I’ve managed to put it out of my head. I’m so touched that women have messaged me to tell me about their surgery and then wish me luck with mine. I’m so pleased for them that they have no regrets and it is what they have hoped for. However, there is a small part of me that thinks: I really want it to be my turn now. This has been the slowest, and one of the hardest years of my life, and I just cannot wait until it is over.

I keep having nightmares that surgery isn’t going to happen. I get within weeks, but there’s another setback and I have to wait months until the next date. Or that it’s that bad, that I’m beyond help and there’s nothing that can be done. 

I made the decision to have surgery back in February 2020. That’s a long time to wait once you’ve made a decision. I almost wished I had only just made that decision this year. Whilst I’m very grateful that everything has lined up how I wanted it to (even way back then), this year feels unbearable. But I have no one to blame but myself for that. I have been ahead of myself for so long. I can be indecisive at times, but once I have made my decision and once I have set my heart on something, it is almost impossible to change that. So here we are, in the longest, most unbearable year of my life, that feels like it’s getting even longer by the day.

I guess I should address the post. Did I have my reservations when Gráinne asked to post it? Truthfully? Yes, for a few reasons. It would open me up completely to a much, much bigger audience, but also to people I wouldn’t tend to discuss these things with from my own perspective. I was very vulnerable in that post. Yes, I have disclosed very honest and raw emotions in this blog – but it is entirely different story when you’re filmed doing that and speaking about those things. I feel I can speak to Antony and Gráinne about anything, but I was very, VERY aware that the consult was going to be filmed. It would be made available to some at a later date, but that was going to be further down the line. Ultimately though, I knew it could help a lot of people in the same position, and it was important, so that was the reason I agreed. I never disclosed any hesitation or reservations to anyone.

You can tell I’m a bit less comfortable than usual a few ways: I say ‘like’ a LOT. I say it in general speech normally, but in that 60 second clip, I say it loads. That is an indication that I’m finding it difficult to articulate myself and how I feel. I don’t hold eye contact for as long as I normally would do. I frown when I speak or laugh it off when I do. I don’t know what to do with my hands. I gesture with my hands a lot when I speak, but I either keep my arms folded (which everyone knows is a defence mechanism) or I shift them but never seem comfortable. Like I said already, I am very comfortable speaking with Antony and Gráinne, but it was the what I was speaking about, that I wasn’t comfortable with. What nobody knows though, is that I messaged them both to explain how I was feeling prior to the consult, because I didn’t want to blindside them. I really felt it was important to speak about it though, as it is clearly hugely underestimated. 

The comment on Gráinne’s post from our consult was something I was actually completely unaware of until someone sent me a snapshot of it. Because the person who commented had been blocked, I was unable to see the comment. My husband was incensed and it took every bargaining tool to ensure he didn’t write a reply. The only way he agreed not to, was if I deleted Instagram. We were away for a few days at the time and Alex was right: it completely changed my body language and my mood. Just as I was starting to relax and switch off, that happened. 

To say it felt unfair, is an understatement. I share in the hopes that it might help others who are in similar situations, and like me, don’t know anyone personally who has diastasis. Who feel they cannot speak to anyone about it, because no one understands. There are plenty of professionals who have a professional understanding, but unless you have been in this position, you cannot possibly understand what it feels like. 

It says a lot more about that person that they were willing to hijack Gráinne’s post on my mental health to make passive aggressive remarks and take a swipe. I don’t block people lightly. I have only blocked a handful of people - mainly, postpartum coaches who try to spam me with their programs (knowing full well my situation), or a random few who have tried to suggest it was my diet, or weight that was the issue. 

However, there are a handful of women who have abused my openness to bombard me with messages all about themselves. Who have no thought of what it might be like to receive numerous messages going on and on and on about their thoughts. I reply to 99.9% of all messages. The majority of those messages are women seeking advice or sharing their story and I am always very humbled by the fact they have taken the time to message me. Sharing their story (no matter how difficult it is to hear and no matter how much it can enrage me when they have been treated poorly) is not the issue. I’m always happy to listen. Jumping on my feelings and challenging what I am doing, ignoring advice I have repeated over numerous messages which involves seeking help from someone qualified, IS an issue. It drains me. 

I remember full well the person who commented. While I do not remember exactly the message that she sent which was the final straw, I remember telling my husband: “you won’t believe what I’ve just been sent.” Once I repeated the message, he told me to block her. That it wasn’t fair for me to put up with that, and I shouldn’t have to. So I did, but even then I still hesitated. 

Most people probably don’t expect to have any consequences to blocking someone - the idea is that you don’t have to hear from them again. But apparently, I do. Apparently, it’s okay to use a post on mental health to attempt to discredit me to my physios, and to anyone else who read that comment. 

I don’t apologise for the way I reacted. I don’t think I have been disrespectful in any way. I had my very good reasons for doing so, and the irony is, I did it to protect my mental health. I have already been in a bad place for some time. I shouldn’t have to put up with that. That is not what I signed up for when I decided to share my journey, or when I agreed to my physios sharing my story. 

Alex regrets me sharing so much. He says I’ve given too much of myself to it throughout the 3 years and counting. That may be so, but the question I asked myself and then asked him, “is it worth it? Has it been worth it?” My answer, despite feeling the way that I do right now, is yes. Despite how bad I feel right now, to know that something I have shared has potentially helped someone feel a fraction less of what I’m feeling right now; it is worth it. Despite the fact that there is no one there for me in the same way, it is worth it. The messages I have received from women, or physios or fitness professionals on behalf of some women; it’s worth it. That is the only reason I’m continuing to share. It’s for the women who have been misinformed, mistreated, and even blamed. The ones who do not have the support that I do. They are worth anything I am going through right now in my own journey. I have always put others before myself and that is something I cannot change.

Going forward, I will have a few more in person consults before surgery. The nature of these has now completely changed for me. It would be interesting to see if the tissues have changed at the next appointment. It would be mind-blowing to think they were still changing at this stage in the game. I almost hope they have, but not for myself, for my physios. That will be another indication that their theories on loading are correct. For me however, I couldn’t care less. It is no longer about the numbers for me. We all know full well that there is nothing that will fix me other than surgery now. Even if the tissues haven’t changed, I have made significant changes from where I started at 11cm (twice). I know I could not have physically done anything more, nor worked any harder to try to make it work. I’m proud of that.

Claire’s core blast will continue, but I can no longer do it under the guise of flogging the dead horse that are the aesthetics of my diastasis. The goal is all wrong. I feel like I’m doing it because I have to. In order to continue working, I need to reframe my thinking. It is now about muscle bulk: lots and lots of muscle bulk and as much of it as possible before surgery. The aesthetics may not change - but the bulk will if I continue to work. I have to focus on that, to give me the best possible repair and recovery as possible. To make my life post op, as easy as possible. To make the route back through rehab, as straightforward as possible. I plan on being ripped at the end of this 😉

Knocked down, but not out;

Struggling, but surviving;

Slow, but still moving;

Bruised, but not beaten;

Fighting every urge to give up, but still fighting.

“Fire is the test of gold; adversity of strong [wo] men”

[floop0wder-blog]

How Common Is Off-label Drug Use?

It happens. Whether you believe in multiple personalities is up to you, but you need to understand that the brain has the capability to switch off, so to speak, while your body is still operating. Is it still occurring? That would have likely busted the market open with cheaper drugs and a new level of competition. Unfortunately there is no wall mount option so the dispenser will require a dedicated level surface near your sink. This means some residue will always remain behind. If the Batman murders are indeed a covert op, the motives behind it don't need much explanation. I hope you are able to use some of them. Campaign for Personal Prescription Importation (CPPI) is a national nonprofit patient advocacy organization that advocates for Americans’ access to safe, affordable prescription medications from Canada for personal use. In 2003, CanaRX was warned by the FDA to stop providing Americans with medications because they were obtaining medications from unapproved suppliers and shipping refrigerated medications using plain mail services. Some may fill prescriptions at other pharmacies, traveling great lengths to get their medications. There are creams along with medications that are specifically made that could assist with the event of infant diaper rash. Susan Sayler, a TI in San Diego, says many women among the TIs suffer from attacks to their sexual organs but are often embarrassed to talk about it with outsiders. Meats and seafood promote gout attacks. When did this craze begin and in what way is it affecting me personally today? We have become so busy these days that we want to finish every task in the shortest possible way. This approach helps ensure your pet receives the best possible care. 5000 ft. It was a perfect day for the hike and Helpful Buckeye cut 2 hours off his best time for this hike. Else wise, there is naught to prevent someone from taking all 3 prescriptions to multiple pharmacies to be filled on the same day. It may take several weeks for your symptoms to improve after you begin taking this medication. Take into consideration that liquid Geritol contains 12% alcohol for the 12 ounce bottle. You ought not take Nitrazepam tablets in the event that you are pregnant, intending to wind up pregnant or are bosom nourishing. The strains being seen this year don't seem particularly virulent and are well-matched with this season's vaccine. Ibuprofen Kills Thousands Each Year. But before you begin a vitamin C regimen, you should get your physician's approval; because high-dose vitamin C might possibly eliminate uric acid from your body too quickly, causing kidney stones. Geritol liquid can be found online, at pharmacies, and retail stores. Returning to the United States can be a lengthy procedure. Venomous and poisonous snakes that can strike at any time, biting insects that will infect you with killer diseases, and spiders that are only inches from your head whilst you sleep. Canada Meds can be obtained at a cheaper price with no compromise on quality. Subscribers have access to a list of physicians and medical professionals that participate in the Medicare program and the Physician Quality Reporting Initiative. Not only have the investigative documents been sealed, but also sealed is the complete list of court filings. You do not have to worry about stains, be they oil, grease, coffee or soup. Pregnant women are often the worse sufferers of hemorrhoids and are often in desperate need of hemorrhoid remedies. There are numerous online Canadian drug companies which make provision users the facility of buying generic drugs against low prices. A 2005 attempt at a rally drew a few dozen people and was ultimately rained out; the TIs were determined to make another go of it. GIRARD'S STORY, HOWEVER STRANGE, reflects what TIs around the world report: a chance encounter with a government agency or official, followed by surveillance and gang stalking, and then, in many cases, voices, and pain similar to electric shocks. So, instead of becoming a landscape architect, Girard began a full-time investigation of what was happening to him, often traveling to Washington in pursuit of government documents relating to mind control. Could it be that the entire scenario is as simple as one guy going off his nut? Going Off-label Without Venturing Off-Course: Evidence and Ethical Off-label Prescribing. What questions should I ask my doctor about off-label drug use? However this does not mean the side effects will not occur with lower dosages or short term use. Los Algodones is an unusual small border town, about four blocks square in size. For approximately four years, the Pentagon conducted secret research: zapping monkeys; exposing unwitting sailors to microwave radiation; and conducting a host of other unusual experiments (a sub-project of Project Pandora was titled Project Bizarre). Also from Beautybay I got the Macadamia Oil No Tangle Brush, which I fell in love with. And just like that I got it. Was the Batman shooting a mega-ritual carried out by the occult elite and its mass media appendage? Wow, what great savings. While its exact range is classified, Doug Beason, an expert in directed-energy weapons, puts it at about 700 meters, and the beam cannot penetrate a number of materials, such as aluminum. While your dog is suffering from cataracts, canada pharmacy online the lens becomes cloudy and opaque. Is it the glycerine that is making it sticky? Truly professional. Good job! Tom Skinner, a spokesman for the U.S. It should be noted that this investigator also reviewed the audio radio traffic from the Aurora Police Department, and requested a source from the department to authenticate the radio (audio) communications. 3 off manufacturer coupons in the January 24 Sunday paper. In a systematic review, Kripalani et al.

[theedgeissilent]

So here’s the deal. I’m someone who for 9 years now has had debilitating stomach issues that came about from a combination of issues all just hit a breaking point at once. Over a good majority of those years I would pop antacids like candy because I was CONSTANTLY nauseated all day, every day. Eventually at some point within that time got massive gall stones due to a combination of all that calcium I was getting from pushing the daily limit on the label of the antiacids, Dehydration and rapid weight loss due to not eating much. Getting those stones was THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. Right up there with passing my first Kidney stone some years later.  What I’m trying to say is stay hydrated, don’t take more that the maximum dose of antacids and if you find yourself feeling like you need to take the maximum dose regularly, go see a doctor. Finally, heed OP’s Warning and don’t drink concentrated antacid cocktails even as joke. Shit’s serious and can cost you a gallbladder. You have no idea how much harder it is to process most foods without one. Oily foods = instant death for me now if not taken with an ox bile capsule.

new mixed drink! i call it The Sludge

[architectnews]

Symbiosis Hospital and Research Center, Pune

Symbiosis Hospital and Research Center, Pune Architecture, Indian Educational Institute, Images

Symbiosis Hospital and Research Center in Pune

23 Feb 2021

Symbiosis Hospital and Research Center

Architecture: IMK Architects

Location: Lavale, Pune, Maharashtra, western India

Established on the lower slopes of a hill, amidst the sprawling 40 acres land of Pune’s renowned educational institute Symbiosis, Symbiosis Hospital and Research Center (SUHRC) has been developed on a forested hill, in a discrete and quiet location. Envisaged as a Multi-Specialty Hospital to provide excellent health care facilities and a State of the art – Centre that would enhance Skill development in the Field of Medicine, the development envisions to educate and empower medical students. Conceptualized to cater to the needs of all the stakeholders, the hospital caters to the nearby population of Pune and its neighboring areas, while providing Tele-Medicine services to ensure outreach services to peripheral, far-flung and access-compromised settlements. Amidst today’s context, currently, the hospital is being used for Government welfare as COVID 19 hospital.

Sitting along a slope, the building is strategically positioned to minimize the cut-and-fill of the hill site. Planned as a robust curve along the contours of the land, it forms the façade of the project. Imbibing the client brief of ‘grandeur’ being a key element, two significant and symbolic entrances have been designed, distinct in approach to cater to the client brief of unique identities for the hospital and the academic block. While the entry to the hospital is welcoming, peaceful, it also provides a sense of grandeur along with a structure that expresses Solidarity, resonating care, and shelter for the patients in distress. A large open-to-sky courtyard separates the Centre from the hospital. The entrances for both these blocks lie on either side of the building, making them seem like two completely different entities, providing the students with different access as well as a space for them for relaxation and academic purposes.

The entrance for the Skill Centre draws inspiration from the stainless steel surgical instruments used in hospitals. A mammoth silver steel bird, with wings wide open, welcomes the visitor into the building. Supported by steel pipes, a futuristic roof under the sun beaming brightly, is symbolic of a contemporary architectural response. The roof sits above the large semi-circular staircase that leads the visitor to the entrance.

In contrast, the response to the other block is humbler. Split into two entries, where one is for casualties and the other for regular populous, the base of the entrance is lifted to be in line with the interiors. Above this large entrance, a slightly curved roof is designed, shading the entrance and making it possible for people to wait outside too. The tip of the entrance is stretched upwards, thus letting in more light to create a deeper canopy so that at least two lanes of vehicles could be parked along the length of the building under it. The canopy was stretched to the complete width of the building and gave it a smooth curvilinear shape in the front, which mellows down the impact of the sheer size of this structure. A balance between light and shade has been achieved with smaller skylights within the roof, and a larger opening towards the upward bending tip.

The upper surface of this canopy was converted to a terrace garden, such that even the single bed patients would be treated to a biophilic space, which would promote healing. Two large courtyards in the building create buffer zones that help in healing patients, bring in ample light, and are overlooked by wardrooms and the Out-Patient Department. The OPD has no air-conditioning but allows for fresh, natural air while ensuring sufficient ventilation. All departments and spaces of the hospital are designed such to bring in daylight and natural ventilation. Even areas like OPD, waiting have courtyards on both sides and are naturally ventilated. Similarly, at all levels, there is a 3m wide corridor that abuts the central courtyard, which lets in natural light and ventilation, thereby reducing the AC load and power consumption for these areas.

The courtyards act as spaces for healing, for the congregation while reducing cross-infections. The terrace gardens are landscaped with flowering trees and plants to create a soothing effect for the patients as well as the accompanying caretakers. The main central courtyard transforms the space around it, unlike any regular hospitals, which are much mundane, completely air-conditioned spaces without any daylight and natural ventilation. Keeping sterility in mind, the courtyard is non-accessible, full of plants and small trees, etc. to avoid the risk of contamination and maintenance. The accessible spaces in the courtyard are paved with tiles and stones that are maintenance-free.

The main central courtyard not only brings in the above features but also makes the space aesthetically pleasing, soothing to the eye creating a calm oasis. The space is completely transformed, unlike any regular hospitals, which are much mundane, completely air-conditioned spaces without any daylight & natural ventilation in significant areas. This also helped in simplifying the way-finding in the building, which otherwise in other hospital projects is a complicated affair for the users adding to their trauma in searching spaces/ departments within the structure.

This 216 Bedded Hospital provides state of the art 5 Operation Theatres, equally well equipped 22 ICU units. The Radiology department offers MRI, CT, X-ray, Fluoroscopy, BMD, and other scans. A dedicated Cardiology department with Cath Lab facility, Kidney dialysis with nine beds, separate Gynaecology Department with an independent OT Facility.

Functionally, the building comprises of four sections; three of them belong to the hospital and the last one being the Skill Centre. Every section has been planned and conceptualized for its functionality- driven design and a distinct formal response as a result. The three blocks of the hospital, namely, the general hospital block, the procedure block, and the multi-specialty block, all have been planned with keeping in mind the ease of functionality and avoiding criss-cross movement.

Amongst the 900 beds in the general hospital block, 600 beds are for free patients and procedures, which are all taken care of and treated by the medical college students. This block has been connected to the procedure block, with services running along one side of the corridor. At the same time, the departments are situated on the other, allowing for ease of access without causing any disturbances. Further, the procedure block is well segregated from the ward block to ensure privacy to every patient, while being shared as a standard procedure block by paid and free patients alike. This block is equipped with the latest medical technology being robotic Operation Theatres and surgical operations.

The hospital is planned across five levels; departments such as the OPD, casualty, radiology, MHC, etc. which require easy ground access and are frequented by more patients every day have been planned at the ground level. The first-floor compromises of General, Twin, and Single bed wards, most of which overlook the garden space. The critical areas such as OT’s, Pre-Op and Post Op, ICU’s Cath, etc. are planned on the 2nd floor, making it the sterile zone and thus are also segregated from other areas of the hospital. The 3rd floor, which was earlier planned for future expansion, was also converted to a ward floor as the client decided to get a DNB Accreditation, which required 200 + beds.

All services are planned in the basement and lower ground level, including parking, stores, and other necessary hospital facilities such as morgue, medical gases, workshop engineering offices, garbage disposal, etc. The partly enclosed basement and LG levels are designed such that they use natural ventilation and daylight as much as possible. A 2.5 m wide ramp is also provided in the central courtyard, which will help patients to evacuate during a fire without being dependent on any mechanical systems.

Attention has been paid to construction details, where post-tensioned slabs are used to achieve flexibility, minimum beams, and larger spans that facilitate different size room arrangements and to allow for easy routing of ducts. The flexible grid is designed to synchronize the structural system at all levels. To enable a natural, original, and permanent finish on the building, which would be maintenance-free, brick was adopted as the material of choice for the double skin on the façade with deeper shading projections that would reduce heat gain.

The resultant boxing forms were skewed, twisted, or tapered to achieve variations in shape to form a multi-faceted façade that reflects light in different tones in any part of the day. Creating dynamism through its texture, capturing the play of light and shadow each day, the façade looks different, complimenting every mood of the day. What is typically done in concrete, has been made possible in the brick and looks exclusive. Naturally compressed, sundried earthen bricks produced on-site, have been used for façade and masonry work and methods such as brick-boxing were incorporated to achieve efficiency, while reducing pollution. Together with exposed concrete, the skin and the façade flatter the green hills beyond.

Smaller details have been taken into account to ensure a calm and serene atmosphere that promotes healing while encouraging research and creating spaces that are easy to use and maintenance-free. Colour coding has been enabled for easy identification of the assortment of spaces and critical areas such as ICU’s are endowed with light colors of soothing shades to reduce anxiety. To maintain a warm and tranquil environment for patients, soft home-like colors cover the inner walls of the hospital.

The ward rooms are designed with warmer and subtle hues of colors that are complemented with teak laminates. Varied temperatures and light with correct lux levels have been worked out for different areas, and the furniture has been customized for special and diverse needs. Acoustic materials in the ceilings of corridors and rooms reduce noise pollution and provide easy access to services. Encouraging way-finding, the nurse stations are highlighted with shades of warm yellow/orange to be identifiable from any side of the long corridor.

The Skill Centre is planned on the fourth and fifth floor with a separate entrance at the ground level. Being a part of the Symbiosis institution, the client brief called for a grand entrance that would be symbolic to the medical field, reflect Symbiosis legacy, and depict a futuristic approach. A grand entrance with steps ascending 8 m moves into the entrance porch. Shaped like the wings of a bird stretched to its extreme ends, the entrance is made of steel with an aluminium skin.

Resting on a combination of steel and concrete Columns that give it a solid base and balance, the double-height entrance leads into a curvilinear café, which in turn connects to the Skill Centre designated vertical cores connecting to the 4th and 5th floor. The café gains ample daylight and natural ventilation as it has an enclosed courtyard on one side and stepped landscape on the other, thus creating a pleasant view for the users of the Café. The Skill Centre has four departments; Centre for health skills, School of Nursing, Institute of health science, and a School of Open and Distance learning. They share 9 classrooms with approximately 60- 90 students per class, a 300-seater auditorium, a library, meeting rooms, labs, changing areas, where all professionals such as Surgeons, Doctors, Nurses, and other allied fields. All the departments are designed, planned, and implemented with one cohesive design vocabulary for medical professionals, with sufficient natural ventilation and daylight.

As multi-facetted angular walls create an orthogonal earthen tone on the façade, the landscape is designed as a free-flowing organic form, using plants of different colors, flower shrubs, and small trees. This creates a healing effect on the patients while acting as pleasant distractions for the patients’ relatives and hospital staff. The vast open space has been planned with approximately number of trees of different species, shrubs, and plants with a vast retention pond at the lowermost level to facilitate zero discharge. The large retaining wall of exposed concrete also gets covered with climbers and plants, converting a blank mass of concrete to an aesthetically pleasing feature that adorns the approach to the hospital.

Carefully and strategically planned, the building attempts to make gestures that are grand, yet local and responsive with attention to details such as the brick-art and the exposed concrete. Sitting comfortably on the fringe of the hill, the inner courtyards seem like a continuation of the hill, where the built form amalgamates with the site. Allowing nature to be a part of the hospital and integrating it as a comforting element for the patients, the hospital creates a space for recovery and rejuvenation.

Energy To ensure efficiencies in terms of cost, time, and impact, all details such as glass façade, percentage of glass vs. brick (not more than 30% glass on the entire façade), shading factor, temperature, and humidity requirement, etc. were finalized at early design stages. This ensured energy efficiency as per functionality and not based on other projects or standard values.

In a centrally air-conditioned hospital, 55-60% power gets consumed by the air-conditioning system and 15-20% power by the medical equipment. The balance 20% is shared by all the other systems such as lighting, water circulation, treatment, convenient power outlets, the vertical transportation system (Elevators), etc. Since there is a limited option to reduce energy consumption by Medical equipment, it is crucial to arrive at an appropriate air conditioning system. Water Cooled Chillers with Variable Speed Drive, premium efficiency pumps, and cooling towers with CTI certification for the assured thermal performance has been selected.

The chilled water system is designed for low flow high delta T (temperature difference), making the chilled water flow requirement 17% lesser as compared to the regular conventional system. Vertical Transportation Elevators are selected with gearless drive motors and VFD controls to save the energy consumed by elevators by 35%. Transformers are selected to meet the loss values permitted by the Energy Conservation Building Code published by the Bureau of Energy Efficiency of India. Light fixtures are selected with LED bulbs, and the domestic water is wholly recycled, treated, and used for secondary applications such as Air Conditioning, gardening, etc. – all resulting in zero liquid discharge from the building. Water Cooled Heat Pumps integrated with the air conditioning chillers are used for hot water production, thereby consuming only 35% of the energy as compared to conventional electric heaters.

Additionally, the by-product of chilled water produced is taken back into the chilled water system to reduce the load on the chillers. A thorough mode of System Testing, Adjusting and Balancing was enabled to ensure that the design intent is achieved in the actual functioning of the project by a third-party testing and commissioning agency.

Architecture: IMK Architects

Photography: Rajesh Vora

Symbiosis Hospital and Research Center, Pune images / information received 230221

Location: Lavale, Pune, Maharashtra, west India

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