#oops this got long lol
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Prompt:
Actor Au!
Where Batman and Co. are the most popular TV series and they’re currently filming Jason’s death.
Only Bruce goes so deep into acting he breaks down for real upon the part where he arrives at the warehouse and digs through the rubble for his child.
#Jason just thinks it’s phenomenal acting#and totally doesn’t move a muscle until the Regisseur calls the cut#at which point Jason just jumps up and goes ‘that was AWESOME Pops!’#only bruce doesn’t stop crying and clutching at him#and literally everyone else is disturbed by the sheer level of emotion#the only reason the cut wasn’t called earlier is because the filming crew was too shocked with Bruce’s screaming and begging#Jay honey you played the dead child a little too well#Bruce is having a full blown mental breakdown#Dick and Tim have to be called on set#unless they’re already there and also joining the cuddle pile because#JASON YOU PLAYED YOUR PART TOO WELL#Joker’s actor is going on a month long vacation he’s got trauma#I’m still sick af but this au came to me in a fever dream oops#might be dying more at eleven lol#actor au#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#robin#tim drake#red hood#joker#prompts#angst#jaybin#batdad
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Cheer up prompt #27
An anon and @this-was-a-terrible-idea also requested #27! A popular number apparently lol. I hope you all enjoy! ♡
"--and then Mr. Browsten said that with all the, um, the hullabaloo that it wasn't fair to make us take a test, so he cancelled it."
Tim pauses for breath and Mom hums an encouraging noise. When Dad makes that sound, it means he's not really listening, but he knows Mom's paying attention, even though she hasn't stopped curling her hair. From where he's lying on her bed, he can see her reflection in the vanity mirror, and she's frowning just like he knew she would.
Mom doesn't approve of canceling tests, which means she doesn't approve of Mr. Browsten, because he cancels them all the time.
(Mom says tests are important to know where improvement is necessary. Mr. Browsten doesn't seem to agree.)
"So we watched a documentary instead and it was pretty interesting, it was about puffer fish! Sarah asked what puffer fish have to do with grammar and Mr. Browsten said that learning is its own reward, but I think he just didn't have anything else ready so he took something from Ms. Cappola instead. She's the fifth grade science teacher and I heard her classes watch movies at least twice a week."
Mom tuts, which Tim was expecting, and sets down her curling iron.
"Ridiculous," she mutters. "I don't know why we're paying that school so much in tuition when they can't be bothered to teach you anything. It's a miracle you ever learned to read."
"It's because I'm smart," Tim informs her helpfully, and Mom smiles her special just-for-Tim smile.
"You are," she agrees. "And thank goodness for that. Now, would my smart boy do me a favor?"
Because Tim's smart, he already knows what she's going to ask. He rolls off the bed to his feet. "Curling iron?"
"Yes, please." Mom rolls her chair away from the vanity so he can crawl under it to unplug the curling iron. She plugged it in herself, but that was before she was all dressed up in her expensive dress. "Thank you, Timmy."
"You're welcome," he chirps, crawling back out.
Mom rolls back in front of the vanity, but Tim stays where he is, kneeling next to it so he can watch her put her makeup on. There are a lot of different bottles and brushes and powders involved, but Mom never hesitates. Tim doesn't know how she keeps it all straight.
He likes watching Mom get ready to go out. Sometimes--like tonight--she lets him pick out the jewelry she's gonna wear, and then she chooses her dress and hair and makeup all based on what he picked. Even when the colors don't match, it all fits together like a puzzle...a puzzle she pieces together in seconds after Tim's impulsive choice.
It's really cool.
Tonight, Tim picked pretty, dangly earrings with some kind of red stone (ruby, Mom said when he asked), so Mom picked a black dress. She said it would make the earrings pop, which he didn't get until he saw her wearing it.
Now, he watches her choose lipstick as red as the earrings and asks, "Does the lipstick make the earrings pop, too?"
Mom finishes smoothing it on before she smiles at him. "You tell me."
Tim studies her. The lipstick matches the earrings, but it doesn't draw attention to them the way the plain dress does. He already watched her do her eye stuff, and her eyes look bigger somehow, but they're not colorful like they were when they all went to the opera last week.
"No," he decides. "You went new...neutral?" He waits for her slight nod of confirmation, then continues, encouraged, "You went neutral with your eye stuff and red with your lipstick to make your lips pop."
"Very good," Mom says, smiling. She cups his cheek briefly before turning back to the vanity. "Clever boy."
Tim beams and watches in fascinated silence as she uses some kind of powder. Even though he's staring right at her, he can't tell what the powder actually does. All he knows is that when she's done, her face looks...different. Still pretty, but kinda sharper somehow.
Makeup is like magic, he decides. No matter how many times he watches her get ready, he can never figure it out.
"Can I try?" he asks impulsively.
"Try what?" Mom asks, a little distracted. The cap on one of her bottles is stuck and she's struggling to open it.
"Your makeup!" Tim takes the bottle from her and opens it by using the hem of his shirt to grip it better. Mom can't do that, her dress is all shiny and slippery. "You look pretty, I wanna try."
Mom pauses and then smiles.
"I don't have long before I have to leave," she warns him, "but I don't see why not. Do you want to pick out some lipstick?"
Tim absolutely does. He levers to his feet as, across the room, Dad finally stirs. He's been reading some stuff his assistant from Drake Industries brought by earlier, ignoring them both, but now he says, "Janet" in a weird tone.
"Jack?" Mom asks, even as she directs Tim's attention to the little circles on the bottom of her lipstick tubes that show what color they are. She has a lot of options.
"Janie, really," Dad says. He sounds unhappy, and Tim looks up from comparing two different shades of pink to find him frowning. "You can't mean to let our son--"
He stops mid-sentence and Tim bites back a wince. Dad's in trouble; Tim hasn't seen that look on Mom's face since he told her about his last nanny giving him whiskey to help him sleep when he woke up from bad dreams.
"My son," Mom says very deliberately, "is welcome to express himself however he likes."
Is trying makeup expressing himself? Tim just wants to see if it makes him as pretty as it does Mom.
Either way, that's not a good tone. Tim looks down and concentrates really hard on picking out a lipstick.
"Janet," Dad tries again, weakly. He obviously knows he's in Big Trouble, but for some reason he hasn't apologized yet. Tim tries to psychically tell him to cut his losses and back down, but his telepathy apparently still hasn't kicked in, because Dad says, "It's just that--"
"Do you know what you want to try, sweetheart?" Mom asks, completely ignoring Dad.
Tim looks between his parents, decides to let Dad dig his own grave, and hands Mom the red he settled on.
(If it's the red that most closely resembles the red in Robin's uniform...well, it's not like Mom has any way of knowing that.)
"Excellent choice!" Mom says. She stands up from the vanity and pats her chair. "Take a seat."
Tim does, excited. He's not usually allowed to sit at Mom's vanity.
Lipstick, he learns quickly, feels really weird. He has to sit super still while Mom puts it on him, and it makes his lips feel weirdly heavy, like there's something on them.
Which there is, actually, so...he doesn't know what he was expecting.
Mom hands him a tissue so he can "blot" his lips, just like he's seen her do a million times, and then steps aside so he can see his reflection in the mirror.
"Whoa," Tim says, leaning closer. He makes a few faces, pushing his lips together and out, transfixed by how bright and noticeable they are. It doesn't make him pretty like Mom, but he likes how it looks anyway. "Cool."
Behind him, Dad throws up his hands and leaves the room. He's angry, Tim can tell, but Mom is smiling down at him, so Tim's not worried.
"Do you want to pick eyeshadow next?" she asks.
"Yes, please!"
Prompt #27 was experimentation! Well selected! ♡♡
#yasminfic#tim drake#tim drake fic#janet drake#yevezc#prompt response#when was the last time i wrote something that wasn't even vaguely jaytim lmao#but for some reason this was the first thing to come to mind#edited to add a read more because oops did not realize how long this got lol#sorry for taking up so much of your dash
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Yunho + Watch ⌚ because everytime I see watches I think of how incredibly pretty it'd look on Yunho's big slender hands 😔
babe your thots are valid and i’m here to validate them…
~
you had always noticed your boss’s hands. they were incredibly sexy on their own, not to mention the expensive rings and watches he adorned them with-symbols of his power and wealth. sometimes you would sit at your desk and think about his hands-the way they were so big and capable, the speed with which they moved when he typed, how they would be able to fill you up so easily…
no more fantasizing, not now that you were getting the real thing. mr. jeong had you sat upon his desk, your legs forced far apart as two of his long, slender fingers disappeared within your core. he looked focused, like he was just doing his job, making you unravel to the point of ecstasy in his less-than-humble office. “dirty girl,” his low voice resonated just above a whisper. “i bet this is what you think about all day at your desk, hm?” just then, his fingertips pressed against your sweet spot just right, and the coil inside you snapped.
your pussy spasmed and throbbed as you came hard before your boss. he watched your expression, moans harmonizing with yours as he continued thrusting his fingers into all the right spots. then something caused him to look down, and when you saw the look of surprise, you knew what had happened. the man chuckled, looking back at your face. “do you always squirt or are my fingers just that good?”
as your orgasm began to subside, he removed his fingers and quickly sucked them clean before he let out a disappointed groan. “shit, baby, you ruined my new watch.” you looked at the flashy object, probably worth thousands, and covered your mouth, mortified. it was dripping with your pleasure, thickly coated in the sticky substance along with most of the man’s arm. “don’t worry, doll, this can be fixed,” he assured you. “but i never knew you’d be such a dirty, messy little slut.”
#this got a little long OOPS LOL#you got me goin anon#ateez fanfic#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez blurbs#ateez smut#kpop smut#ateez scenarios#ateez reactions#ateez drabbles#ateez headcanons#ateez hard thoughts#ateez hard hours#yunho#jeong yunho#jung yunho#yunho ateez#yunho smut#yunho x reader#ateez
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fanart of the fic Washed Up by @slicedmayonnaise
#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#john marston#javier escuella#jovier#kayomin#aka this gave me the excuse to draw javier with long hair LOL#maybe i made him too pretty... oops...#this was good practice tho#experimented on john#it was weird drawing john without his scars#also im sorry im so bad at tattoos#i hope i got javier's hair right in the last one#i also apologize if anything is inaccurate aah
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random avalance gifs [12|∞]
#legends of tomorrow#ava sharpe#sara lance#avalance#lotedit#avasharpeedit#saralanceedit#avalanceedit#mine*#gif*#random*avalance#i couldn't decide where to stop so now it's a long post oops?#i really wanna do more of season 5 for these but i only got a 10 minute scene compilation of the whole season#so this one it is lol
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And of course Super Paper Mario and 4. Convince me to give this game another try perhaps :]
4. …why you should choose to check out the world of this story and choose three gifs that should underline my point.
NOTE: i will be forgoing the GIF part and using pictures instead because every single GIF search result has been clogged up with mouth-breathers on the internet who have been arguing over whether SPM is good or bad and have been doing it in GIF form for years. don't believe me? search "super paper mario" on discord's gif search. you'll see it. you always see it.
oh jesus. see the thing about liking super paper mario is that there's a lot of SPM fans out there who really like the game but can't really connect a very important dot as to Why they like the game. (HINT: THEY PLAYED IT WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND ARE NOSTALGIC FOR IT SO THE FLAWS IT HAS IS WAY LESS FOR THEM, AND BY PROXY, ME.) IM self aware. i will never be able to hate the game, but i am incredibly aware that the gameplay can be fairly lacking sometimes. if the story doesnt already grip you, it probably wont ever be worth it to go through the gameplay. thats my bit. thats my piece.
(but then youll have people who see how SPM defenders dont like to critique it when it deserves to be critiqued and start going after stuff like "oh the story isnt even that good"? MAN WHY DID YOU BRING THE STORY INTO THIS.)
but i digress. the life of a paper mario fan is a long and hard one.
POINT THE FIRST. MARIO'S "EXPERIMENTAL" ERA.
you can argue that ttyd also fits this bill, and i think it does, but this is about SPM so im focusing on that. if the mario series has never really Gripped you or you havent really been a lifelong fan, i always think the gamecube-wii era of mario has been one of its more interesting moments. the switch renaissance has allowed a breath of creativity to come back into mario, and mario's allowed to be Weird again, but gamecube-wii mario is weird in a really SCUFFED way and i love it. the gamecube's flagship mario game was a LUIGI game where he cant even jump. super paper mario came out before mario galaxy or NSMBwii. that was our mario rep on the wii for a while. mario games get a little crazy, a little weird here. and so what you get is a more melancholic story about the end of all worlds, and exploring what it really means to be a hero, and the closest many games will get to acknowledging that the mario characters can have emotions that arent Perfect. its just such a fascinating era for such a perfectly-marketable franchise and i adore it. it's a testament to what mario can Be, for me. Mario Is Weird. say it with me now!
POINT THE SECOND. GOODBYE TO A WORLD.
i just really like the theme of All Worlds Coming To An End. usually in these sort of things, it's "save the world so the world doesnt end!" but in this game, it really feels like "the world is ending and you have to fight even to have a chance to succeed". it colours the tone of the game in such a fantastic way. many songs in the OST have a ticking clock in them. the inescapable void is even in the hub world. it's like the majora's mask of paper mario. many people talk this up but the fact that in chapter 6, you're beholden to the traditions of a silly king who REFUSES to believe the world is ending even when HIS ENTIRE SKY IS PURPLE, and youre trying so hard to beat this 100-man duel faster and faster, only for the world to end and then youre forced to go back into the chapter and see this GRAVEYARD. it makes it so much more tangible. THIS is what will happen if you fail. and this overhanging melancholy paints the themes of love so much stronger. it's not just a love story, it's a love story in adversity. love conquers all, but what is the "all" in question? well, this. bleakness. sometimes the bleakness is part of the love. sometimes you make a sacrifice in the name of love, and nobody likes it, but you know it must be. the whole game is actually a love story between bleck and tippi and it just grips me so. it's such a multi-faceted depiction of love and loss that it feels so much more real to me, that love isn't always the Magical Solution. love is a sword, a shield, a prayer, a wish, a curse, a blessing, an order, an act of cowardice, an act of bravery, a sacrifice.
(you see what i mean? i can literally only be talking like this because i grew up with this stupid ass game)
POINT THE THIRD. FUCK ALL THAT THOUGH LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BLECK MINIONS.
so, the whole kind of crux of this game is that it's a love story between bleck, the main antagonist, and tippi, your companion, right. if you can't flesh both of them out you're in a bad way. obviously for tippi, she's hanging around you all the time, and you get to hear her journey play out throughout the entire game. BUT WHAT OF BLECK? HE'S HIDING IN HIS CASTLE! how are we supposed to know more about him and learn his story if he is IN HIS CASTLE? well that's why after every chapter, there's this interlude where we CHECK UP ON THE BAD GUYS.
i blame this game entirely for my love of villains. this gang of baddies has so much quirks and personality that i find it hard NOT to love them. they're not just gormless minions of the count- each shows their own personality in their relationship with him. mimi has a puppy-love crush on him, o'chunks has a sort of warrior's bond with him, nastasia pledges herself to him and almost uses the minions she controls as a conduit for her dedication to him, dimentio is like a cat in a bird store, and mr l clearly isnt supposed to be here but i dont think he knows that. the minions bicker amongst themselves but clearly have a bond of cameraderie because it all feels like teasing of people who've known each other for a long time.
you fight each minion at least twice, and even though the lackluster gameplay kinda comes in full force again, you get to see so much PERSONALITY in these guys. mimi is super-bratty but seems to know most people would see her as a monster so leans into it, dimentio is playful and jovial while also having his own motives, o'chunks is bold and brash but asks you to finish him off the second time he fails, mr. l is cocky to a fault and reeks of insecurity. i just love having these guys we can always check up on. it's like lord crump but MOOOOORE.
and through a combo of you inferring things about these people and some of the Deeper Lore (flopside bar stories), you kinda come to learn that these minions were kinda manipulated by bleck when they were at their lowest. mimi is a failed creation of SOMETHING. o'chunks' men all died because there was a traitor in his midst. nastasia was saved from a cage by bleck. and the more you learn about bleck the more you see that he is a man grieving the woman he loved, apathetically trying to end all worlds so the pain would end. he lies to the minion, he says he aims to make perfect new worlds, and they believe him, and they love him, because he saved them.
this sort of birth of a relationship through bleck's pain and manipulation comes through by the end, as the love the minions have for bleck is a KEY part of the final act. and idk it's a bunch of deeply-hurting misfits binding together and accidentally finding love in a world they found loveless. i think thats really cool. i think THEYRE really cool. such an awesome cast of villains.
but yknow. again. this is my childhood game. the special feeling i have for it can't really just be put into words. it's my diamond in the rough and nothing can really change that. it's Home.
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I went to draw a full body of Rattman and ended up with this. I have a version with Chell’s ponytail too but liked this one better.
In case you can’t read it, the text bubble says “Wow, you both look like total shit.”
#portal 2#mel portal#chell portal#doug rattmann#portal 2 fanart#all of them are disabled oops lol#Mel is partially deaf and Doug is partially blind#and Chell is semiverbal#artists on tumblr#digital art#art#her legs got blown up by Wheatley btw#and GLaDOS built her new ones even though she totally hates her#definitely not friends#or bitter exes#this tag list is getting long though so bye#my art
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Essay on heartbreak points
Just thinking of LBH pining over SQQ along the novel before he finally gets the man
Pre-abyss LBH wants SQQ, but the thing i see in him is not just wanting him, carnally sexually or otherwise, he wants SQQ’s attention and approval bc he admires him, its as simple as that. Og goods already had his admiration just bc he was a great cultivator, he was elegant and beautiful and worked hard af, it was like…if a polished stone like jade was used to hurt rather than be the soft, warm and flawless concept of beauty - that chinese media usually uses -. But then the cold showed a soft inner core! Yes! Our dear transmigrator took over and confused the hell out of t he poor LBH that still struggled to excuse SJ’s behavior. Then though, SY took care of him with love and with smiles, using mdoern sensibilities to measure things like care and affection…and I think that some of those discrepancies between a hellish setting and a soft oblivious SY must have been quite jarring to LBH. He sees someone that believes in inherent good and is passionate and silly, knowledgeable and kind, and can’t help but want to be close! He admires him so much!!
Still pre-abyss, not only LBH admires the heck out of SY, he is also his shizun, and i don’t forget about his teacher kink but im talking about the dynamics of it instead of anything sexual. LBH knows and firmly believes that his position is way below that of SQQ’s, he is protected and cared for, but he longs to protect and care for as well right? Because he has seen that SQQ is powerful but not above everything, because he is knowledgeable but not all-seeing, because he may be taken advantage of by someone crafty that doesn’t deserve his kindness. LBH pretends to fall and be weak and helpless when it’s convenient for him, but he knows he has to take every advantage he can bc he needs to be strong enough to protect SQQ, because the world has shown him that there are many dangers and that someone not of a peak lord’s status isn’t worth to marry (idk how much about this airplane would have put into his work, but lets remember that ancient chinese marriages were a very foemal and important thing that involved status and wealth, not just love). Let’s remember our bun has also been a street rat and probably saw many things at one point or another! We can only speculate and write fics about that last point, but the street is not a good place to be, especially in a PIDW setting. Also, bc he wasn’t strong enough, quick enough, bc his family had no power or money his mother died, it’s as hurtful and as plain as that for him, even if he knows (does he though?) that it’s not his fault.
Onwards to the abyss! It’s shit. That’s what it is. Shizun who he admires, respects and loves above everything, who told him that nobody was intolerable for the heavens went against every fucking shit he said and coldly forced LBH into the abyss. What the actual fuck SQQ (affectionate), you gave him so many issues fr. I can only imagine how confused the poor LBH must have felt when his Shizun yet again changed tune like this in a way he can’t fully explain this time, even more so, he could try, but it wouldn’t change the fact that LBH is currently in the worst place ever because the person he loves with his whole heart threw him there (and possibly wanted him to stay down there? to become one of its creatures? To die? He has no idea???). LBH has strived to be good, to be worthy in his teacher’s eyes since he entered the sect and he has just gotten proof that he isn’t and will never be even though he had the hope of getting there despite everything. It’s just filled with heartbreak and i think that the system only deducted SQQ’s current total points bc he literally had to die to be deducted any more and LBH can’t have him dead and the system knows that extremely well! It also gave SQQ a scenario push remember? And that was only for LBH’s benefit istg, SQQ had no idea.
and talking about death! Funny thing isn’t it? It’s ridiculous that SQQ dies so many times (srsly bro, wtf - again affectionate) but I believe that the first was the most traumatic for LBH. SQQ doesn’t sneer at him like a disgusting mucus but instead is afraid of him! LBH worked hard to just see SQQ again, to reunite the courage to talk to him and ask him if he regretted what he did, to show him he was a good person and that he had power now, that he could impress him and protect him (he has lost a lot of his own self-esteem base and i do believe that’s part of where heartbreak points come from) the person whom he values the opinion of the most -the only one even- thinks him a beast and an unredeemable demon…and when he tries to peove himself not that, the only thing SQQ does is run away from him, to decide to be silent and refuse even LBH’s (biased) kindness. He wouldn’t even take LBH’s robe! Imagine that you love someone and that someone hates your guts and refuses to even acknowledge that they hurt you, oh, and all this while an evil sword is fighting to take advantage of your negative feelings. Post-abyss is also shit, just a bit better bc LBH has the illusion of control, he thinks he can still control the situation and is slowly losing hope of shizun understanding him. But the illusion shatters when SQQ self-detonates to save him. The one he supposedly hates. LBH is probably just eternally confused in sv now that i think about it lmao *pats consolingly*
post death 1 (actually 2 for SY): LBH thought he knew shizun, then he realized he couldn’t explain everything shizun did. Then he tried to ask, not even for a full explanation, just to know if shizun really did hate him (bc LBH truly doesn’t care at that point what SQQ does or what SQQ’s reasons and actions were as long as he still loves him, smhw he is so…) and got instead a blow up in his face, coupled with other ppl’s accounts of SQQ mourning him like he was actually truly dead, missing him and finally he sees SQQ sacrificing himself for him. This surely must be enough fpr LBH right? Well…not really, SQQ could have been sacrificing himself to protect the ppl around him - LQG is there and we all know that LBH is mildly sus of him at this point, it will get worse later when LQG is the one coming by every fucking day to retrieve SQQ’s corpse so mhm…its possible LBH thought they had something (not necessarily romantic) at some point, or that LQG and the other ppl were important enough to sacrifice his life for. Not only that, but shizun was not rejoicing when he came back, he never said anything. He killed himself in everyone’s pov -but SQH’s-without explanation, in the most tragic and confusing way of all, saying he would repay LBH…lets also remember that repaying someone can mean completely cutting ties and leaving with a clean slate. And the only actual thing he did was show LBH he didn’t have actual control over the situation and that it was possible to be completely powerful and still lose the ones you love and care about. Idk (or don’t remember haha…) the moment LBH started building the bamboo house in the demonic realm, but it says a lot about what he wants and what he dreams about, the most probable things he is feeling at this point is desperation and melancholy, nostalgia. He longs for the days where he was secure in the knowledge of Shizun’s affection for him, no matter what kind of affection it was, but at the same time is bittersweet because he knows that shizun will never love him foe who he is and that drives him mad with heartbreak that is just building up over time. He will also feel incredibly guilty over SQQ repaying him with his life, because all he ever wanted was basic communication but Shen ‘i am so emotionally repressed i can’t even tell what I’m actually feeling’ Qingqiu obviously thought he was being hunted for revenge. So rip LBH, he wanted an explanation or just a simple ‘i regret it’ but what he gets is confusion, a corpse he has to reanimate asap, and incredible guilt + more damage to his self esteem
Then SQQ comes back and doesn’t even try to search fpr him? And everything becomes a huge mess quite quickly. But. Luo Binghe watches his shizun go back to his martial family and interact with them in a way that he doesn’t interact with LBH anymore. LBH gets his face rubbed with the fact that what he strongly wishes for (going back) is impossible because he made the mistake of being born. Which, would demoralize the strongest of us honestly. And uta been so long since i read sv that I don’t remember much, but im sure that LBH can’t even think that SQQ does care for him, the trauma and insecurity, the abandonment issues have grown so big that they are like a bull in a china shop, ready to shatter everything in short range. Its only when SQQ gives his life (LBH does not know this but he is aware that SQQ would not have used papapa to save the world with just everyone) and gives him something he kept for so long - and that LBH himself thinks is precious despite being worthless - that he understands a bit that shozun may not hate him so much. I’m surprised that heartbreak points weren’t so used or that we didn’t get reminded of them through the story, because it would have given us an inkling of how LBH was feeling, but also spoilers and SQQ’s obliviousness, i imagine that at the end of sv they would have been lower than what they were (in truth) at the IAC but not completely gone
finally, i think that heartbreak points could be used to gauge how traumatized poor LBH was at eaxh point in time, but also to measure the state of his self esteem and the level of hope he had according to the way SQQ acted along the novel. I think that the points were all gone at some point (i eont remember anymore -cries- ) but i fullly believe that post canon Binghe still has heartbreak points and a whole lot of issuws that start to slowly disappear as thwir relationahip progresses. The only thing is that LBH still ties his own worth to SQQ’s opinion of him, and he will have heartbreak points again if he misunderstands SQQ st any point (unlikely but still).
Anyways…
THIS POOR BABY BREAKS MY HEART! He was terrible but he was also very human and truly, he deserves good.
Sorry about the rambling essay! :D
#luo binghe#svsss#character study#kinda#im just rambling about LBH’s love and obsession with SQQ#I’ve always said that sv is funny from SQQ’s and SQH’s pov but from everyone else’s is a damn tragedy#this is why LBH’s poor heart is like a maiden’s lol#he is a dramatic little shit but he has reasons to be iw what im saying#random thoughts#rambles#mentions of death#canonical death i mean#Essay on LBH’s suffering haha oops#the usual#do tell me if i got smth wrong or forgot ro add#its been so long since i read sv i wanna buy a copy so bad#i may add more to this
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rules — shuffle your “on repeat playlist” and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people
Thanks for the tag @friendly-jester !!
New Genesis – Ado
Mortal Reminder – Pentakill
The Whole "Being Dead Thing" – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
That Beautiful Sound – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
Prologue: Invisible – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
Rell, The Iron Maiden – League of Legends
Money – Mystery Skulls
Dead Mom – Beetlejuice Original Broadway Cast Recording
Backlight– Ado
A Pizza the Action - The Stupendium
No pressure tagging: @digital-gargoyle @thatonegreyghost @astudyinpanda @astralalmighty @foxxxtransformer123 @seth-shitposts @never-ending-fanfic @ahsoka-its-all-of-us and anyone else who wants to play
#tag game#anyway you can definitely tell what i got into recently lol#this has been in my drafts for so long oops
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for the Sports Anime Olympics week, day 3... Ina11 Superpesis AU!
pesäpallo (a mix of baseball and a local game "kuningaspallo" from late 1800s) is the national sport of Finland, and Superpesis is the highest national league here. ig started suggesting me superpesis videos a while ago, so when the prompts were up for the week, I instantly knew what I wanted to draw for the AU!
my own knowledge is mostly based on playing pesis in elementary school gym lessons, but it's said to be paced faster than baseball, and apparently the pro players dive a lot? and home runs require a bit more tactic since you can't just blast off the ball with all your strenght.
ngl, the outifts look a bit simple to my own eye since all the superpesis outfits have a lot of ad logos which I was too lazy to draw.. but it was fun turning the soccer outfits into pesis uniforms!
and now the main reason for this AU: among the pesis videos I've seen, there's a specific place with the best videos: a stadium/play field in the west called "island field" where a river parts and goes past two sides of the small island the field is on. knowing that 1) there are no fences around the field, 2) if the ball hits in on the first bouce it basically won't be out no matter how far it goes, and 3) they have cameras set specifically to the river... it tells a lot what sometimes happens there:
here is the og video (and you can also find other cool clips on that account if you want to see pesis in action! they post mainly official league stuff, but the video side is partly curated for curious people)
instagram
#oops this got little long... all my insp for the week went into this one au...#no read more this time guys I'm going to make yall at least browse through (in hopes that you'll watch the video)#((except that I forgot the “expand” thing lol oops))#these imgs are set on 2nd season (with random kudou as the referee because why not)#core memory: it was a tradition for 6th graders to play a friendly game against teachers on the last day of school before summer vacation#also in the art high school I went to.. we played against teachers before summer holidays... and the winners got baguettes as a prize#I don't know anyone who watches superpesis but I think almost all finns have childhood memories around the game#animeolympics2024#own art#inazuma eleven#Instagram
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55! My lucky number
lalalalala i like u!
this one uhmmmm.. halloween even tho it's december josuyasu 👍
except i realized too late that i was thinking of lovey dovey mv LOL.. but whatever they can be roly poly too i guess
#SRY IT TOOK SO LONG LOL#been waitingggg for time to draw them for this but then i got distracted and drew them in totally different scenario the other day OOPS!#but yea i combined the mvs in my head or something#bc i was like 'yes disco and crazy noisy bizarre town is. kind of disco maybe'#and the halloween art by kohei ashiya for the zombie part!!!#obsessed with that art likke omg couples costume..... wow......#but no the zombies are supposed to be at the club not at the disco#struggling like crazy to draw them in these outfits for some reason i give up 😞😞#lyrics i dont think fit them much even i was mostly thinking mv#except i wasnt even thinking of the right one so 😭😭...#i think the one part that fits is the part like 'idk what to do! im going crazy i cant lose u'#bc that is what happened when okuyasu died for a little!#him telling a like 10yr old to STFU would be funnier to me if i wasnt busy punching the walls#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba fanart#josuyasu#okuyasu nijimura#josuke higashikata
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y'all ever think about the 10 years engie spent as a roughneck in the oilpatch? because I do.
Like, do you think he was trying to break away from the family legacy of becoming a mercenary? that maybe that boy in the picture, trying his father's goggles wanted nothing more than to be an engineer just like his daddy - even had a natural knack for it too, said his dad, just like him and his father before him - and was too young to see clearly the toll it took on him and his family? do you think that, as he got older, he would begin to recognize the extremes his father and grandfather went to for their work, obsessing over it, even experimenting on their own bodies. do you think he came across his mother crying at the kitchen table late one night, unable to recognize the loving man she married who now never came home and obsessed over his work, and decided right then and there that he wasn't going to be that man to his family? that he was going to forge his own path - be his own man, and break free from the Conagher family curse?
so, maybe, at the age of 18, he began working as a roughneck in the oilfields of west Texas. It was hard manual labour, long days spent on drilling rigs with the Texas sun beating down on him, but it was good money, and though some of his coworkers were rough most of them were good enough guys and he along with most of 'em. and hey, sometimes maybe there were even on-the-spot practical problems to be solved - issues with the drill that in a fast-paced environment like that couldn't wait for a proper tech to come around and solve? and in those moments, engie would step in and fix the issue quickly, working without hesitation, like it was second nature to him. And maybe his coworkers would always remark upon his natural aptitude? ("you're in the wrong line of work, Dell.") Maybe he would shrug it off, say it weren't nothin' - just hung around his father a lot growin' up and learned a thing or two - but deep inside, he hoped for more of those opportunities to fix things, and maybe those little moments of on-the-spot fixes were the very things he looked forward to most. And maybe, even as he gained a reputation for being a mr. fix-it amongst his coworkers, given odd things outside of work to tinker on, it wasn't enough. maybe slowly, over the years, with each thing he worked on, the flames of his intellectual curiosity were stoked more and more, until eventually, he went back home and visited his mom, during his week off. And, late one night, against his better judgement, he went into his father's workshop - untouched, everything covered in a layer of dust (he hadn't been home in years). he knew he shouldn't. He could feel the gnawing at him, the voice demanding him to give in to his intellectual curiosity and follow in his father's footsteps getting louder. He had been trying to fight it, but he finally reached his breaking point and went into his father's blueprints. that was what tipped him over the edge. He spent the whole night, locked away in his father's workshop, poring over each design, his mind racing with ideas of how he could make it better. He couldn't stand it anymore, he needed more. When the sun came back up again, Dell informed his mother that after 10 years, he was quitting his job and enrolling for university. and although he was certain that he would not become the same man his father and grandfather was, as sure as he would be an engineer, but do it differently and not succumb to the family curse. And although his mother smiled, ever gentle and encouraging of her son, coffee mug in hand, there was a sadness in her eyes. Because she knew that Dell always had the same tenacity and obsessive intellectual curiosity his father has. And if Dell was going to do this, there was no moderation. He was going to fling himself into it completely, lose sleep, lose focus of everything else. And she was right.
...
OR maybe he always knew he was going to be an engineer and was like, "well, I'm going to do a whole lot of schooling, so what's the best way to save up for tuition? oh yeah! work in the oilfield for a few years :)" lol
#oops ended up writing a longer post than intended#idk lol i think about it a lot#10 years in the oilpatch is a long time for a guy who - once he got to college - ended up getting 11 phds#like he HAD to have been pushing back against the family legacy right?#idk what do you guys think?#tf2#tf2 engineer#tf2 headcanons#team fortress 2
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The fact that Shane said that people who touch/fondle their hair a lot most likely have a hair pulling kink when THIS MAN IS ALWAYS RUNNING HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR??! Shane?? The call is coming from inside the house, I’m afraid.
Hi Anon!
OK so... did he know he was telling on himself so bad? Because you're right! Shane plays with his own hair more than anybody else I can think of. Even when he's not playing with it, sometimes the video will be edited/cut to a different time and its been messed up, so you KNOW he's been doing it off-camera.
i think he's proud of his hair! and to be fair, it IS very nice hair. it looks soft and smooth and i'd like to touch it and tug it, too who said that
anyway back to the call coming from inside the house. i think he doesn't know. it seems kind of like an unconscious action, so he probably thinks he doesn't do it too much, when in reality, he's touching it all the time!
im not saying shane has a hair pulling kink... but im not NOT saying it. (disclaimer: we like to have fun here! this is not too serious. and now, i will get weirder.)
I'd also like to talk briefly about... his forcefulness.
He was NOT gentle with it in prev post and that's not the only example!
Take a look at this bit from a 2020 BFU video:
sir what are you doing that is a straight up TUG.
this might be my imagination, but he gets an interesting expression after he pulls it - like he was really enjoying it.
and i'd like to say that's where he was like, oh, i should probably stop pulling my hair on camera because it feels a little too good. except… he goes in AGAIN right after!
He really can't keep his hands off!
He seems to enjoy/be used to pulling it HARD. and if prev post is any indication… he's quick to have other people pull on it too :3c
OK thanks for coming to my Hair Pull TED talk. love you bye
#personal#replies#oops this got long hehe#i went looking for parts where he was touching his hair and i was a little astounded at that expression he made in gif 1#but he touches his hair legit all the fucking time its actually crazy. lol#this was fun! thank you for the ask anon!
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That moment in your obsession with Ed Edd n Eddy where you have a hard time finding the character design remotely as ugly as some people frame it to be.
#actually I actively disagree the character design is ugly I think people are just intolerant to unique and imperfect art styles#I mean...they are ugly but it is appealing#ofc that is subjective to taste#but I think people see a somewhat janky style of drawing and their gut reaction is negative#you do you ig but sometimes that factor is what is beautiful#oops this got too long-winded again lol#squack
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When I first watched the Boys and seen Homelander and continued to watch this man fall from grace while trying to keep it together and then pretty much accepting he was going to be the bad guy (my opinion)
The song Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths comes to my head whenever I see Homelander. It is an amazing song and I feel like Homelander just fits it’s so well.
ohhh my god the way i was OBSESSED with this song. it was #1 in my spotify wrapped in 2022.
absolutely love how the song is an internal battle. he's begging himself down off the roof, but everything around him only pushes him closer to the edge.
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken Remember the pact of our youth Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you Soldier on, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?
and then this next verse in particular just guts me
Loathe the way they light candles in Rome But love the sweet air of the votives Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone Engage with the pain as a motive Today, of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above
we know he craves love and to be celebrated, but loathes the rituals he endures to obtain it. still, he does it. he obeys. he lights the candles. he genuinely believes this is how he will heal. how he will be loved.
but of course it isn't. and that sentiment only sours the longer he pursues it. insecurities fester. his loneliness worsens. there is a voice that urges him on, but so too is there a voice that hisses, they don't love you. they never will.
Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now You are absent of cause or excuse So self-indulgent and self-referential No audience could ever want you You crave the applause yet hate the attention Then miss it, your act is a ruse It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now It's a pointless resistance for you
they both grow and grow and grow until finally those two voices in his head are so distinct, they may as well be their own identities.
You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers (it's not worth it, Achilles) More poignant than fame or the taste of another (don't listen, Achilles) But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker (you're worth more, Achilles) You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat) You want my opinion, my opinion you've got (no one asked your opinion) You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts (no one asked for your thoughts) Be done with this now and jump off the roof (be done with this now and get off the roof) Can you hear me, Achilles? I'm talking to you
UGGGHHHH just listening to this song again made me cry. man, it's SO good, and applying it to Homelander tears me to ribbons.
#oop this got long so i slapped a readmore lol#i can't help it there's just so many amazing lines!!!!!#music rec#homelander
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Unraveling
Yugi didn't often use his sleep dust on himself, he usually could fall asleep relatively easily, and since he lucid dreamed more often than not, he didn't need help much with that. But sometimes when he needed a deeper sleep, something to bypass even his own mind, he would sprinkle the dust into his tea and wait for it to drag him under.
It was like sinking in quicksand for him. Laying there, the sleep curling around him and slowly pulling him down, down, down into the dark. Drifting to realms only he would see, places he was looking for.
One place he wanted to return to.
Within minutes or hours, he was sitting on the edge of the bed in silence. There was no gentle breeze through the trees this time, no soft grass underfoot, there wasn't even a window for that warm sunlight to filter through. Sitting in the dark, eyes lowered, he just slowly took in the feeling of the room. There was a familiarity to it, and it wasn't entirely from the dream he confirmed with Atem he had had.
It was different now. The floor was now hardwood, old and creaky. The bed with its moldering blankets was dull under the layer of dust. Even in the dark, he could see the shapes of games scattered on the floor, a chess board with pieces knocked about. Shards of a broken mirror were scattered on one side of the room, glinting in the shadows. He could almost hear the cricking of the wallpaper peeling as time and pain took its course.
His eyes flicked up, the light turning on as he did so despite Yugi still not having moved. He stared it down, the door still partially covered in a sheet, as if it were a beast that could attack at any moment. More time passed, seconds, minutes, days, just staring at the door, contemplating. Slowly, he touched his feet to the floor, eyes never leaving the door, gaze unblinking. His footsteps were soft, gracefully stepping over what toys or items might be in his path as if it were a practiced motion.
Grasping the sheet, he pulled it off the door, the chewed and decaying fabric billowing and fluttering to the floor, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake. Yugi stared at it. At the hammer dented boards, thick nails, some flush to the wood, others bent and twisted as if he had been in a hurry to get the boards in place. The rusted chains were thick and heavy, smelling of oxidation and iron.
He could almost hear it. The screams of agony, the broken sobs, could almost feel the bite of the splinters. Echoes of the grief and bitterness it took to weave these kinds of barricades. To not just lock a door, but try to be entirely rid of it. Of building walls, burying the pain so it can be pushed away.
A desperate attempt at self preservation.
That weight crushed his chest again, like red hot fingers closing around his heart, threatening to strangle the life out of him. But he clenched his jaw, staring the beast of his creation down, despite the way his heart began to beat rapidly, despite how it felt like the room was closing in, making it hard to breathe. It felt like everything was spinning, waiting for what might happen. What was going to happen.
Kneeling, he picked up a hammer and lodged it under a nail. Pulling and prying, he started to creak loose the rusted metal. At first, he was methodical, just thinking about it one nail at a time, one board. The only sound was the hammer sliding into place and the creak and groan of the nails and wood as he pried them apart, nails falling to the ground with thuds as if far too heavy for their size.
But his movements quickened, faster and faster, spurred by the first board falling heavily to the ground. Tears began to fall down his face, emotions overflowing as he piece by piece undid the past mistake made out of heartbreak. Emotions that were too strong, too much as with a great heave about halfway through, the handle of the hammer snapped and with it…
It was like the final thread fraying after spiraling too long, too tightly.
Yugi just discarded it with an angry cry and instead continued with his hands. Tearing, yanking, the wood planks seemed to groan and keen with his own cries as he put all his strength into tearing them from the wall.
Bit by bit, he tore at the barricade. He didn't care that fingernails were broken, that splinters buried themselves deep in his skin. The pain just fueled his rage as he threw shards of wood out of his way, kicking the debris out from underfoot until all that was left was the great looping chain.
Grasping the linked metal with bloodied hands, he pulled and yanked, the only sound was his own grunting, cursing and screaming in frustration. Heaving with all his might, he twisted and put his whole weight into it, the most anguish filled scream tearing from his throat until… Rust crumbled and broke.
He was thrown to his knees in the woodrot and decayed iron strewn around the floor when the chain suddenly shattered, the metal crashing down all around him. Panting, he sat there on fall fours for a moment, body trembling from the effort and adrenaline it took to get to this point. The taste of copper was on his tongue as he finally lifted his head to see the door that had been beneath the planks.
Exhaustion was starting to settle into his bones as the adrenaline started to fade, but he pulled himself shakily to his feet. He couldn't rest yet, he still had one thing to do before he could leave this place again. Taking a breath, a quivering, blood-slick hand grasped the door handle…
And he threw it open.
#drabble#I dunno if I'll keep the title#but this was a long time coming#tw blood#tw emotional#tw anguish#deep below the dreams#I keep adjusting things but I'm posting before I revise it a third time lol#also under cut because oops got long again
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