#oops im infiltrating

[angelesca]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐱𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐡𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐮𝐨𝐟𝐮’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 - 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐬! ʕ •̀ ω •́ ʔ

w.c. total: 6500+ (whew)

this was overdue oops... like who wants to read a halloween post in december?? ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴ but! im happy to finally get this out of the basement!!! YAY everyone is silly n' goofy ofc, reader is gender neutral

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

feixiao gang goes ghost hunting! w.c. ~1330

content: jiaoqiu is the designated scaredy cat(sorry jiaoqiu it had to be someone), feixiao being awesome as always, moze wants to go home, they are breaking into your house

“o’ wondrous general, you must lead the way and charge first!”

“hey! don’t push me!”

“c’mon, just go in already…”

“moze, heeeeeeelp meeee–aaAaaAaah!”

“...”

the dead of night stirs awake, no thanks to a lively bunch of bright-eyed no-namers, hoping to eternalise themselves in the tabloids (moze does not wish to be associated, he is just tagging along).

despite their spiritual powers, business for this ghost-hunting squad has been dreadful. ever since the formation of the ghostbusters hunters, they have accumulated a whopping number of one hungry dog, one angry landlord, and one confused grandma on their doorstep. that is to say, they have had no customers at all.

if they don’t hit the jackpot tonight, they will, as feixiao exaggeratedly puts it, die.

“okay!” feixiao huffs, keeping jiaoqiu at arm’s distance. jiaoqiu lifts an irritated eyebrow, dismissing the hand that feixiao shoved in his face. “first, we must equip some weapons.” with a click of her fingers, moze begrudgingly reveals himself from the shadows.

a strange bag announces itself with a loud thump when moze throws it down. jiaoqiu holds his head with his hands, mouth gaping open, “hey, be careful!” he rushes down to his knees and cradles the device like a newborn. “this is my portable hotpot cooker!”

feixiao waves her hand. “why do we need that to hunt ghosts? are you gonna eat them?”

jiaoqiu grins.

“feixiao, you are literally holding a gun in your hand.” moze grunts, picking up the only sensible item: a flashlight imbued with a light that reveals all. 

they were certainly prepared to tackle the dangers of their first ever ghost-hunting mission.

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

feixiao punches a window with devastating force, shattering glass as easily as her swatting a bug. moze tips his hood down in shame as he watches the two foxians struggle inside the makeshift entrance.

they successfully infiltrate enemy territory. gulping, feixiao instructs, “moze. flashlight.”

plumes of darkness which obscured, dissipates its shadowy tendrils, tucking into even darker corners. the flashlight illuminates a safe beacon within the room, washing relief into jiaoqiu. “that’s more like it– um, what is that?”

“what is... ” —feixiao turns towards jiaoqiu’s direction. the two are frozen solid— “what… ”

in a corner, the contour of a steep shadow. it squeaks like a frightened mouse, belying its daunting aura. it flees out the door.

“the mission is already starting, huh?” feixiao cocks her gun ready, bloodthirsty. “let’s go, ghost hunters.”

the three nod in unison, finally agreeing for once. they follow the trail, quick on their feet to catch the prize. jiaoqiu points towards a slamming door. “there!” 

the gang rushes towards it with jiaoqiu taking the lead. with haste, he aggressively rips the door open.

an elephant sits on the toilet, shaking. jiaoqiu slowly closes the door. "i am so sorry."

“behind us,” moze indicates, pointing behind them. in the kitchen, a fridge light gleams white, confessing to a tall silhouette which stood hunched before it. 

the three tiptoes closer. the silhouette stops, ears perking. in their hands, a pile of… indistinguishable meat…

“z-zzz-z-zom-m-b-bie…!” jiaoqiu trembles. he steps back, but is unfortunately interrupted as his back collides with a soft obstacle. he turns around– “llll-ll-lion??!”

laying on the floor, a talking lion (impressive) scratches its nose with its paw, yawning. “if you guys are gonna break in, at least do a decent job of it.”

“what’s all this noise?” the intrusive voice, disguised innocently, reeks of a disturbing intention to kill—according to jiaoqiu’s narration. thunderous stomps strike upon the floorboards. there is no mistaking the behemoth in front of them: a mythical dragon towers over them. “who are you?” 

jiaoqiu yelps as if pricked by a million needles. he latches onto moze’s back. “we’re dead!”

…yet, when perilous flames of ye all-mighty scorch the weak of their will, a hero arises from the ashes to reignite a hearth that once blazed a hope so lustrous. 

she, who braves the inferno, shall relinquish herself as a mere plaything of fate to save her people.

and sever her humanity she shall; render her bones brittle if thou must. forswear the tangible vessel that shackles thy to a fragile mortality, to ascend as the hideous terror of gods.

“finally, a real challenge.” the hero forgoes her firearm, cracking her knuckles. she wields her bare fists in front of the apathetic dragon, a worthy challenger. an assertive grin spans her face. “an opponent strong enough to evaluate the effectiveness of my training!”

the hero is none other than feixiao, the esteemed leader of the ghost hunters!

“seriously?! you muscle-headed freak!! moze, capture her!”

with jiaoqiu riding moze’s back, and a deflated feixiao under his arm, the ghost hunter squad dashes off, abandoning their pride at the door.

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

“crap.” you stare wide-eyed at the broken window. never in a million years did you think someone would have balls heavy enough to venture into xianzhou’s infamous haunted house. 

about to enter inside, the door bursts open before you could touch the handle. you jump out of the way of the intruders, who were two foxians now laying on the ground. following closely, a third man walks out the door, surprised to meet your eyes. “oh, are you the owner…?”

“yes…” you stare back, baffled. “did you guys break my window?”

he glances at the foxian pair and embarrassment flushes his cheeks. the purple man groans, rubbing his neck. “i deeply apologise,” he bows his head. “let me know how much you need for compensation(please don’t take us to court) and i'll pass it onto those two-”

“hey!” the pink foxian shoves himself into the conversation, wrapping an arm around the purple man’s shoulder. “we’re a three, right? us three will pay for it!” he wriggles his eyebrows.

“ah, reinforcements have arrived.” the white-haired foxian marches towards you, patting your shoulder. you raise a confused eyebrow. “be careful, this mission is seriously sss-grade difficulty.”

you watch the sweat pour down feixiao’s forehead. her legs wobble dramatically, as if the tremors of an earthquake have struck her. “are your knees okay?” you ask.

“don’t worry, these are the results of my workout.”

jiaoqiu sarcastically interjects, “is pissing your pants a workout now?”

the white-haired foxian clears her throat, ignoring the other. “let me introduce you to the gang: i’m feixiao, this is jiaoqiu, and moze. nice to meet you, fellow hunter.”

“they’re not a ghostbust– i mean, hunter; they’re the owner of this property,” moze explains, pointing a thumb at you.

you nod, arms crossed. “anyways, i kinda need you guys to pay for my window. it’s a lot of money, y’know.”

feixiao gauges you. eyebrows creasing, teal eyes piercing. she hopes that her intimidation will knock a few zeroes off the price. “how much?” 

“let’s see… not only a broken window, but trespassing is a crime too.” you tap your chin. “how 'bout a million?” unfortunately, her tactic is ineffective.

feixiao’s eyes pop open, her soul almost skipping to the afterlife. “one million?!” your attack deals a devastating blow; truly, this mission is of sss-grade difficulty. despite her strength, money is the one weakness that hero feixiao cannot defeat. her eyes frantically shake, shoving a disorganised jiaoqiu in front of her. “i’ll sell him off, he’s very useful! good at cooking!”

jiaoqiu’s eyes brighten at the mention of cooking. “hmm… i propose hotpot, a most nutritious and filling meal. i can boil some homemade broth, perhaps a mala and tomato base, and cook some mild, oily dishes to accompany the spiciness—no coriander. by the way, i’m not a chef or anything i swear i’m a healer.”

although they literally broke into your house, they seem to be an honest-to-good bunch. if anything, you are impressed they haven’t passed away from shock, considering the eerie residents that nest in your home.  besides, hotpot sounds pretty good. “okay, but you guys are paying for all the food! plus my window, of course.”

moze smiles at you. “thank you"

you smile back. a hotpot party, huh? hopefully, they don’t mind the extra spooky guests…

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

2. dragon's tail w.c. ~920

content: dh's tail being sensitive bc it's that time of the year

it must’ve been the 1987469th time you’ve knocked on dan heng’s door.

whatever possessed you to believe this time around would be different, is met with disappointing results as usual.

it is time to adopt another strategy.

you knock again. “dan heng?”

nothing.

“high elder mk2000?”

nothing.

“cold dragon you— woah!” something heavy cuffs onto your wrist through the slight gap of the door, pulling you into shadows.

dan heng’s room is unusually dim. in the dark space, the light of a lamp is the only comfortable shelter your eyes could return to. with its help, you find a faint silhouette on the bed—a tall lump under a blanket. that is when you notice it was dan heng’s tail that dragged you in.

you plop onto the bed. from under the blanket, dan heng peeks at you. “...! how did you get in?”

you hold up your wrist, revealing the culprit. his tail uncurls and tickles your nose.

“it has become restless these days. don’t worry, you can leave me alone for some time.”

“but your tail is all over me-mmphfff!” the end of dan heng’s tail brushes over your mouth, cutting your words short.

his tail flops around like a fish in your lap. “ignore it,” he says, as if it's the easiest thing in the world.

“i just got here though...” feeling mischievous, you poke his tail and it twitches. you are rattled by how sensitive it is.

dan heng scoots over, shuffling away timidly. you observe how he keeps pulling on the legs of his trousers.

shuffle shuffle.

... sliiiiiide.

when he turns his head to look at you, you manage to be even closer than before. a complete opposite of his intentions. "?!"

“it wasn’t me.” you gesture at his tail which is wrapped around your shoulder, like an old friend.

dan heng sighs. “i apologise. i do not mean to avoid you.”

“it’s fine,” you reassure, sitting criss-crossed on his bed. “take your time.”

your words manage to wring a smile out of dan heng’s blank face. he clears his throat. “however, do you really have to keep doing that?”

“doing what?”

he indicates towards your hand which is furiously stroking the soft underside of his tail. you are moments away from collapsing into it and plunging into a sweet dream. his tail seems to like it too, swaying side-to-side.

nevertheless, you stop. “sorry. it’s a force of habit.” 

yet, his tail directs your hand back, requesting that you continue. you look at dan heng who rubs his forehead. they say that a dragon’s tail also represents it’s heart...

you clasp your hands together. “if you don’t like it, i won’t do anything.” 

like a spoiled kid, the tail thrashes up and down. dan heng’s eyes shoot open, as startled as you are. oh boy.

the powerful appendage swirls forceful winds, conjuring a storm in a frenzied rage, a volatile disaster. you have to duck your head to avoid a deadly swing, and swat away a vigorous jab coming for your stomach. "ack!"

dan heng attempts to curb his wild tail, securing it with his hands. "down!"

that one word traps the tail under a spell. with its freedom torn, the end of the tail slithers back and forth, as if dejected.

“... can i still pet it?”

“no,” dan heng promptly shuts you down. your head lowers in disappointment. “don’t spoil it.”

“but it's turning red. should it be doing that?”

dan heng shoos you. “just leave for a bit. it will calm down eventually.”

“you’re sure?”

dan heng nods.

“i was talking to your tail.”

dan heng sighs. “please. just for a few minutes.”

you shrug your shoulders, getting off his bed. “if you say so—uh?”

you swear you were standing up a few seconds ago. how did the door turn into the ceiling?

you get up again, and it’s like deja vu when you blink. nice to meet you again, ceiling. how have you been since the last few seconds that passed? you have a clue on who the criminal is. 

“about me leaving,” you tug at the tail manacled around your waist. with how strong the grip is, you might be chained to dan heng's room for eternity. “you’re really sure?”

no response. dan heng’s back faces you, a wall that separates. despite being in the same space, he seems to exist in another plane.

you sit up. “dan heng?” 

another stifling silence passes. it is unnaturally uncomfortable, like shuffling into a recluse corner in an empty room. and when there’s nothing for your ears to hone in on, you can only examine with your eyes for hints. he’s tugging at his trousers again.

moving closer to inspect, hesitant, you brush his hair behind his ear. they are burning bright red. skin searing hot. “you’re burning up?”

dan heng rubs his arm. “it’s…” he starts, “could you stay for a bit longer?" 

in the months that you have gotten to know dan heng, this is a rare moment that shines golden. “you’re sure?”

“i’m sure this time.”

although he prefers to keep to himself, you appreciate when he does decide to rely on you. you quickly clamp your mouth shut to stop a smile from spreading.

his tail shudders, excited. gradually, it glides across your leg, searching, as if hunting for treasure. 

“... do you need help?” you tease.

“what?”

you point at dan heng’s tail. “i think it’s trying to get in my pants.”

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

3. taste of flesh w.c. ~750

content: blade is jus a zombie cat who doesn't wanna hurt you, also why is this kinda angsty

what’s with the ominous cardboard box in your house?

approaching it, you find a sleepy blade hiding in the isolated space, much too tiny for his size. he gazes up at you, reminding you more of a cat rather than a zombie. “...?”

“what are you doing here?” you ruffle his hair, petting him and scratching his chin. he leans into your touch, eyes shut, almost dozing off again in your hand. “let’s wake up now, hm?”

when your warm fingers leave him, the cold air that manifests reminds him of what he was trying to avoid. to your disappointment, blade hunches over again, burying himself into the box. whatever is concerning him must be pretty significant.

“what’s up?” you crouch down, frowning. “aren’t you hungry?”

“... no,” blade replies, his voice muffled. 

a stomach suddenly growls. 

as demonstrated, zombies aren't good liars, especially when it concerns their hunger. blade follows true to this formula. he loves meat, though you worry about the blood pouring from the almost-rawness he indulges in.

you piece the puzzle together. meat. blade loves meat… blade. blade is a zombie… zombie? zombies eat…

“do i need to kill someon–”

“no,” blade catches on. “it’s nothing…” he seems to be gnawing at something.

“nonsense,” you reject his disregard for himself, scowling. you pull at his wrist but immediately stop at the sight of indents on his arm. bite marks. “blade... don’t hurt yourself. if you need something, please tell me.”

blade wouldn’t say it, but you had a feeling. 

you bet your unwavering trust in him. “do you want to try mine? not sure if i’m tasty, but it’s something.” slowly, you trace along your neck, insisting.

blade shivers, starved eyes lingering. the manifestation of his hunger falters from your face to the slope of your neck. “no…” 

blade clenches his eyes shut.

it’s all wrong.

fragments of memories flicker.

the pedalling of an ouroboros machinates his body. the threads of life weave his limbs back together, strung his muscles fiber by fiber, and pale, rotted fabric for skin stitched like patchwork. sewed together to amass a destructive creation. poured the cursed golden liquor—the mara—and it branched like neurons into his departed body. 

the air freezes. a hollow shadow watches you. it is hard to read his eyes. you cannot trace it and it unnerves you. it’s as if you are meeting him for the first time again. 

from the grave he rose. an insatiable hunger in his blackened guts. a hoarse throat that itched. naive prey wandered over to him. then, their body fell. 

his hand crawls onto your back, digging his fingers. he leans his weight onto you and your bodies fall, tumbling to the floor.

the moon who awoke when the sun slept; the sea who yearned to walk the earth—he was unnatural. those hideous impulses he submerged deep within his depths, locked away in his body like a tomb. confined it with pure restraint, dashed the key away to seal his horrors. 

a thumb feathers over the pulse in your neck. 

but in this moment, the forbidden unlocks. 

hot breaths sterilise your skin. you shut your eyes.

… nothing comes.

blade’s lips are parted but his teeth do not move. you feel a light suction on your neck, an amateur's kiss, then, the light pelting of his wet tongue over the tender patch of skin. just like a cat. his hand rubs circles on your back. “...sorry.” 

“...sorry.” 

“sorry.”

“sorry.”

blade mumbles a million more apologies, each one wrapped and tied together with a peck, tending to an imaginary wound. 

“i’m fine,” you console, “see?” you hold your hands up, urging him to take a proper look at you.

he moves his head, scrutinising you. and blade wouldn’t say it, but his eyes tell it all. there’s an aching in your heart.

you look at the ceiling, glueing and crafting your phrases. you take a deep breath. “... nothing's wrong with you.”

you give a small smile. you have no idea if these are the words he wants to hear—you can't read minds. but it is enough for you if the words can reignite a flame.

the construction of your words were planned for, but it spills out anyways, loose and natural. “go chase the winds, perhaps eat another bowl of rice, or being proud about getting out of bed. you deserve to exist as you are, however you want to, so go do whatever your heart pleases.”

blade doesn’t respond; the silence is what his heart desires. so you let him rest his anxiousness to the soothing lullaby of your pulse, reassuring him that you are alive. 

with your encouragement, he becomes the moon and sea, as well as the sun and earth; blade exists. as natural as can be. 

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

4. triple threat w.c. 853

content: *taps mic* triple jing yuan *cheering*

“drat, i forgot to buy toilet paper for luocha.” you close the cabinet, sighing. 

“i know just the solution,” jing yuan’s voice chirps to answer your worries. he sits by the window, chin resting on his hand. his smile perks up, eyes melting from his lifted cheeks, when your eyebrows elevate to declare your interest. “i do this all the time.”

“what do you mean?”

he clicks his fingers, and you’ve seen this before. in an instant, another jing yuan spawns, clipping through your floor like a video game. 

you frown. that seems painful. “is he okay?” you walk over to recently birthed jing yuan who wears an irritated expression, a stark contrast to original jing yuan. the hand you offer to him is taken up and you root jing yuan no.2 out of the floor.

however, the hand you offer is swatted away just as quickly. you raise an eyebrow at jing yuan no.2 who rolls his eyes. 

your eye twitches. “why is he so mean?” the difference between them is like day and night.

“careful, dear,” original jing yuan wraps his arm around your shoulder. “hmm, i’m not as well rested as i thought. my energy must be low.”

“meaning?”

“to preserve my energy, every new clone seems to inhabit less of my power and is further from the original me. although, their thoughts and memories should remain intact.”

“oh.” you hum, eyeing the other jing yuan. “well. welcome to my haunted house, evil jing yuan.”

evil jing yuan crosses his arms, glaring at you. “what an insulting entrance, to be assisted by…” he looks you up and down. “a human,” he sneers.

“hey, what’s your problem?” you retort.

before you could shed any blood, jing yuan steps in. “there is no need to direct your anger at anyone else but me,” jing yuan replies to his evil counterpart, “i apologise for my mishandling.”

evil jing yuan spits out the foul taste in his mouth, “reducing the aura of my sheer power by delegating me to redundant errands. you are foolish, jing yuan.” 

“but aren’t you also jing yuan?” you point out.

he rolls his eyes. “ugh.” 

you shrug your shoulders, sighing. “what now?”

jing yuan rubs his chin. “what if i did this?” he clicks his fingers.

you are unimpressed when one more jing yuan climbs through your window–why is everyone attracted to your window these days? the newest jing yuan wears an overenthusiastic smile. 

“didn’t you say you have to conserve your energy?” you side-eye jing yuan. 

jing yuan whistles innocently. he really would do anything to avoid being productive. within the time this all happened, you are sure someone could’ve dropped into the shop down the street and got some toilet paper.

“yikes,” evil jing yuan’s lips pucker, tasting the sourness of the newbie’s presence. 

the happy jing yuan beams, jogging over, “evil jing yuan!(that’s just his name now, you realise) how i’ve missed yooouuu- a-aah!” evil jing yuan pinches happy jing yuan’s cheek.

“do not touch me, vermin.” evil jing yuan spews caustic acid.

“boo, no fun.”

although happy jing yuan adopted jing yuan’s friendliness, you immediately notice the wide discrepancy. 

“you’re really energetic.” you identify the exaggerated flaw—it’s like playing spot the difference. this jing yuan had enough vigor to last a whole day, when original jing yuan would be sleeping through 60% of it. 

happy jing yuan eyebrow perks at your voice. a glint of recognition shines in his eyes. “oh? wait, i know you.”

“you do?”

“of course! you're jing yuan's favouri–yeowch!” evil jing yuan stomps on happy jing yuan’s foot.

“huh?” you turn to jing yuan, searching for answers. he turns his head to the side, hand covering his mouth. his ears are flushing red. it is a rare sight to see such innocence undermine the confident lion. you can’t help but feel flustered as well.

“ugh, embarrassing.” evil jing yuan’s face contorts, nauseated. “why would you reveal that?” he rolls his eyes again. he must be well-acquainted with the back of his head from how often he rolls those eyes.

happy jing yuan only laughs, scratching his head. “haha. i forgot we are all the same person, haha. sorry, my fellow jing yuans.”

that confession basically spoke for three jing yuans. this information, you didn’t know what to do with it other than wanting to shrivel as you feel their gazes suddenly burn holes into you.

happy jing yuan winks at you, taking your hand in his. “but i'm your favourite, right~?”

“wha-?”

evil jing yuan clears his throat. “as if. clearly, i outshine everyone—even an eyeless shrimp knows that.” he smirks, linking your other arm with his. “come, we shall rule the universe together! hahaha!”

jing yuan hugs you from behind, partaking in the senseless tug of war. “you said one was enough last time,” his voice blew in your ear, “you’re being greedy.”

“please guys, one at a time,” you joke, “i’m literally sandwiched here.” you might have to wrestle your way out.

with no toilet paper, luocha sat in the bathroom for a long time.

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

5. the office w.c. ~1168

READ MEEE!!! GUYS there's a part (you will DEFINITELY know which) that is stripped from one of my old wattpad stories, no editing just pure cringe written from ages ago. i died re-reading it and it will kill you too but the idea was funny

“hey, hey,” qingque playfully pokes your arm, rousing you from the clutches of sleep. “wake up, sleepyhead.”

you catch your head before it slips off. “say what now?”

countless feet shuffle in the office, stomping an ominous anthem—a thing of nightmares. your spine shoots up immediately, positioning you in a battle-ready stance prepped for war. fixing your uniform, your armour shines radiantly as you equip your weapon of choice in your hand: a forged doctor’s note in case you are accused of slacking off.

“everyone, i have news,” fu xuan, your supervisor, the master diviner of xianzhou’s divination commission–a very short person–announces, “starting today, a new matrix manager will join us. please offer him your warmest welcomes.”

you rub your disbelieving eyes, wondering if you were still dreaming. “wait a minute.” 

the new manager corrects his slanting head.

you inhale a sharp breath. “i forgot to lock the door.” 

“hm?” qingque taps on her phone, eyes glued to a game of celestial jade.

“if master fu xuan asks for my whereabouts, tell her i’m in the toilet!”

“where are you–”

the gears in your legs propel you forward, fueled by your adrenaline. slamming the head office door open, you meet the familiar sight, playing pretend in formal divination attire with a silver pair of thin-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. most prominently, his hair is jet-black instead of golden. overall, a 10/10 disguise. his hands comb through papers with the mastery as he remains deaf to your outburst.

“luocha?”

the flipping of pages responds to you. 

you march forward, rasping your knuckles on the desk. knock, knock.

this earns you a stinging glare. “i do not appreciate you making a scene.” luocha(?) finally acknowledges your existence. “you should be at your desk working.”

you place your hands on your hips. “and you, should be at home.”

his eyes wander over to the door, waiting. when nothing more happens, he beckons you with a finger, signalling you to close the distance.

you lift an eyebrow. you tread over, standing in front of him. “here?”

that is when you notice that it wasn't numbers and charts he was reading. in his hands were endless pages upon pages of… pictures of his coffin? that probably explains why the photocopier in the office broke this morning. 

luocha grips his heart. “i have infiltrated the enemy’s base today to reclaim what was rightfully mine. oh, how the days were peaceful until tragedy struck.”

“what did you do this time…” you sigh. “are you saying that the divination commission, for whatever reason, has your coffin?”

luocha nods.

you scratch your cheek. the only fear you have is fu xuan snagging you in her talons if she catches you, but you can’t leave luocha alone lest you want to testify to a rampaging elephant. moreover, you were always curious about what lies in the coffin. corpses? treasure? an earphone you lost years ago?  maybe this will serve as a good opportunity to finally ask. you come to a decision. “i’ll help. but you’ll go straight home after this.”

“okay!” luocha smiles enthusiastically. you almost fall over from how quick he pulls your hand.

after the agreement, you find yourselves wandering a corridor in search of luocha’s beloved coffin. surprisingly, it didn’t take much time before you both located the "x" on the map. almost like you were mere pawns roaming a chessboard according to a calculated plan. that begs the question: who is the mastermind stringing you along?

entering an empty meeting room, a coffin stands at attention, a lone soldier in the battlefield of fallen papers, pens as spears, and a whiteboard which has endured countless cleavings of ink on its body. 

you pat the coffin. “that was easier than i thought.”

“indeed.” luocha grazes his finger along the intricate carvings.

out of the blue, you hear familiar footsteps. your body grows stiff. “someone’s outside…!”

“here.” he shoves you into the coffin and follows suit, secluding you in his arms. you gasp when his leg nudges in between your thighs.

the tiny space doesn’t allow you much freedom apart from staring at luocha’s face and being acutely aware of everything that was happening downstairs. you try not to think about it. try not to think at all.

unbeknownst to you, luocha monitors your everything: how you cast hesitant glances, mumbling hot breath that kisses his cheek. while you are trying to distract yourself, he is entirely focused.

luocha breaks the silence. “... it’s hot in here.” 

“???”

the unknown figure is approaching. your heart is playing to the beat of each sinister step.

“shhh, quiet,” luocha says something reasonable this time.

you hold your breath. the rough grumblings of a voice vibrate through the coffin and you can recognise that voice in your sleep. “not here.” fu xuan is hunting for your blood, claws sharp. 

her heels turn and click when she is left unsatisfied. the coast is clear and the tension you held in alleviates. you glance at luocha, expecting him to be equally embarrassed. 

but you are met with a knowing smirk. something about this feels suspiciously like a book trope.

you clear your throat. “we’re safe now.”

luocha nods. opening the coffin, you both try to untangle your intertwined limbs.

“could you move your right leg?” you ask.

“i’m trying.”

“okay, i’ll just hold onto your arm for a bit…”

“that’s my arse.”

“oops, sorry—!”

you trip on something but luocha safely catches your arm in the nick of time. looking down, you realise that there are a bunch of books spilled on the floor. 

you look at luocha who gives a hesitant smile.

in the monotonous pile of words and pages, one clearly stood out. one that you swore to oblivion. you feel your soul claw its way out of the suffocating entrapment of your body, your mouth hung open, not the forbidden collection…

‘secret affairs in the office: uh oh, i’m in love with my boss!’

… shit. 

no wonder this situation felt familiar. 

——

“Shhh, quiet.”

… I shouldn’t be doing this with my boss.

We're so close that I think we exchange breaths with each other, tangled in this small space of ours. I cringe as he leans into my ear, his black hair falling. “It’s hot in here,” he breathes. The hairs on my neck stand erect. 

I face my fears when I glare back at him. He'll be exploring every nook and cranny of my body with the way he stares back, hungrily, on the prowl for my bare skin. His rough hands tug at my shirt.

I smirk. “What are you waiting for then? Undress me.”

——

you wish you didn’t remember that.

“did you like it? i heard the office trope is very popular with humans.”

you lightly thwack luocha’s head with the book, cheeks hot. “what on earth were you thinking?”

“oh, we haven’t done the next part—”

“we are not doing that!” you quickly shut him down. “we’re going home!” and you’ll make sure to burn every single book.

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

6. what if w.c. 320

after another day of work, you could not wait to get home soon. you open the door. entering. turning on the lights. 

flick.

sighing, you throw your bag off your shoulders, stretching your arms. you want to catch up on sleep, but the stress of tomorrow’s agenda ravages your mind. you hum as you think of what to do next, filling the bars of silence with your melody. dinner, probably. 

you head into the kitchen and open the fridge. songlotus cake, puffergoat milk, berrypheasant skewers... why is there so much rice? it's like someone is telling you to eat another bowl or two.

let’s try reading a book. grabbing a cushion and a random book off the shelf, you sit by the coffee table on the floor. you flick through the contents: dragons, zombies, lions, changelings. these old tales, how boring. does anyone actually believe in these superstitions? you yawn. 

when you lean back, you accidentally press on the tv remote. the screen is brought to life. "oh..." you turn it off. after all, no one is watching tv. glancing at the clock, you realise it’s already close to bedtime. you should run a bath and get ready to sleep.

making your way over, you almost trip over something. huh? yet, there's nothing on the floor. you shrug your shoulders. you head to your bedroom to find your change of clothes. however, the task is difficult when your room is a complete mess. where did you put your pajamas again? 

as if on command, in the corner of your eye, a drawer slide opens. “...what?”

walking over, you find your pajamas in the drawer. you scan the corners of your room.

... it must be the wind. what else could it... be?

after your bath, you lay on your bed, comfortably settled. you stare at the ceiling, slowly counting the seconds until your eyes close.

the house is quiet as usual. peaceful. 

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

7. hotpot party! w.c. ~1165

“hot!” you fan the congee in your mouth, eyes tearing. dan heng sighs, handing you a napkin. “hot... hotpot… hotpot…?” slowly, the burning congee helps you recover an important memory: “it’s hotpot night!”

“hotpot?” jing yuan turns away from the tv.

“...hot…pot…” blade wakes up.

“h-o-t-p-o-t.” luocha robotically dances.

the bell rings, and you are relieved that it wasn’t the smashing of a window when you greet the ghost-hunters. 

“hey!” feixiao gleams, flashing a smile. in her hands are bags of ingredients, you assume, noticing the spring onions sticking out. “we’re here for hotpot!”

“i’ll just borrow your kitchen to heat it up,” jiaoqiu quips. 

moze nods at you as you let them enter. but you are too late to warn them when you hear the unison of feixiao and jiaoqiu’s screaming, “g-g-ggg-gg-ggghosts!!!”

“hey, that's rude,” jing yuan says, “after you trespassed into our house too.”

“wait… general?” feixiao points at jing yuan. “weren't you one of the arbiter generals? you’re real? you’re like, one of my biggest idols!”

“uuuhhhh…nooo…” jing yuan averts his eyes, hiding behind luocha. “quick luocha, do something.”

luocha stops chewing on the hair of an agitated blade, concentrating. channelling the strength of his spiritual ancestors to reach new levels of enlightenment, he poofs into a chair (why). blade reaches for his sword.

dan heng weaves through the chaos, finding you at the front door. he leans against the wall, arms crossed. “you didn’t invite more people than this, did you? it’s already so noisy.”

“uuuhhhh... nooo…” you guiltily look away from his interrogating eyes which accuse you. just then, the bell rings again and you open it excitedly. “huohuo! you made it!”

“it’s good to see you again.” huohuo smiles, eyes softening from the rise of her cheeks. by her side are qingque and…

“master fu xuan?!” your heart soars to your throat, astonished by the great, but still short, presence of the master diviner.

“ahaha, sorry,” qingque rubs the back of her head. “the master diviner insisted on coming to check that i wasn’t slacking off.”

fu xuan nods. “qingque said you are hosting a productive meeting on how to strategize for the chartings of ship routes via the jade abacus, and its convergence into predicting future prospects. i have high expectations for your discussions.”

you and qingque stare at each other.

“hmph, what a waste of time,” tail grunts. “mingling with a bunch of peasants, i should get paid for gracing you all with my presence.”

“good to see you too, tail,” you reply. the group head inside.

"hey, hey?!!" you hear more of jiaoqiu’s shouting, "the house will burn down!"

“that’s actually a ghost this time,” jing yuan notes.

suddenly, a wave of heat blasts everyone. “the term ghost," tail roars with the rage of a thousand suns, "cannot be compared to the heliobus race!” 

thunder strikes. you gasp. 

jing yuan walks to the door, eager. “that must be my friend.” the door opens but no one is there. he gestures towards something in the sky, behind the house. you walk outside, dan heng following shortly. 

it is lightning(-wielding thunder-clapping spirit-squashing) lord. they wave at you, magnificent and bright. 

“how will lightning lord eat hotpot with us?” dan heng inquires, genuinely confused. 

jing yuan waves his hand, dismissing dan heng’s worries. “it’s fine. they're just here for vibes.”

when did old jing yuan learn slang? “oh, okay. if they don’t mind.” you wave with two arms at the giant. 

out of the blue, a cold breath trickles down your neck. “hello…”

you are startled, realising someone blue was behind you all this time. her sluggish, bent posture and slow manner of speaking—it reminds you of someone.

“uurk… who invited grandma over??” jing yuan slips behind you.

behind the lethargic “grandma”, another blue person pops out. “good evening, general. and friends.” he greets politely.

you wave your hand. “oh, another friend of jing yuan?”

jing yuan frowns. “how do you not know who he is? he’s our kid.”

“what do you mean ‘our kid’...” you glare at jing yuan, lifting an eyebrow. recounting the numerous stories, you close your eyes in contemplation. “if i remember correctly, you must be yanqing?”

the kid nods, confirming. “thanks for inviting us over.”

you attend to the other blue person. “and this is…”

“jingliu… you made it…” blade is at the front door. he trudges over, wiping the sleep away from his eyes. “why don’t you…come in…”

“thank you… i… love hotpot…” her head bobbles, trailing inside. “thank you… thanks… thank…” 

yanqing assists jingliu. “let’s get you inside, grandma.”

you ask, “was that your zombie friend, blade?”

“yes… cool friend…” blade glares at jing yuan. 

“what? she tried to kill me once!” jing yuan exclaims.

another roaring claps in the distance. it captures your attention.

what in tarnation… 

“my people!” luocha dashes out the door, waving all too happily at the concerning amount of elephants rushing your way, about to bulldoze your house down. where are the elephants even coming from in xianzhou luofu??

you shake luocha’s shoulders as he chants ‘elephants, elephants, elephants!’. “why did you summon a stampede of elephants?! can they even eat hotpot??” 

“haha, no idea,” luocha scratches his neck. blade flicks him on the head. luocha dramatically doubles over, holding a hand out at the elephants and under his silent command, they immediately halt. “they’re well-behaved, they mean no harm.”

“uh, i guess this is okay.” you wave at the elephants, their trunks waving back. “how about you dan heng, did you invite anyone over?”

dan heng observes the sky, silent for a moment. 

you notice his melancholic expression as he points towards a bright streak slicing across the night like a shooting star “they’re busy travelling the universe.” he smiles. “so they can’t make it today.”

“oh?” these must be the dreams he spoke of. so it was real after all. you wave at the sky, hoping that his friends receive your greeting. “another time, then. we’ll have so many hotpots nights from now on, they are sure to come over for at least one of them.”

his eyes glimmer, the end of his tail wagging.

feixiao calls from inside the house, “hotpot is ready!” 

“that’s our cue,” you declare, herding a dragon, zombie, lion, and a changeling all back inside. of course, it is met with difficulty as they try not to tear at each other for bumping shoulders, or when jing yuan craftily pinches some butts and blade pulls out a rifle(thanks for the gift feixiao). 

before you join the festivities, you notice a crystal flake falling on your sleeve. frosty winds bite at your body, and you witness how your breath fumes into clouds. looking up at the darkening sky, you admire the white confetti announcing winter’s entrance. 

then, you study the scene in your haunted house. it’s hell, and it’s chaotic as usual. you laugh. and like magic, you are warm again. 

you close the door. 

⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(¬ ´ཀ` )¬⋆⁺₊⋆♱♡♱⋆⁺₊⋆(┛〃°Д°)┛⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊⋆⁺₊

some art i scribbled ٩(･ิᴗ･ิ���)۶

what i imagined for office luocha ( ･ิ ͜ʖ ･ิ) (my apology to luocha fans)

a/n: i wanted to finish writing this way sooner but life amirite guys(ﾉД`) a lot did change from what i originally planned, but! i'm biting the bullet and finally posting this so that i can move onto something new! that one part in luocha's story... save me from the cringe... and no i will not be posting the rest of my wattpad story, that is torture ill be posting an update later abt my next work(hopefully)!!! stay tuned~ thanks for reading! ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)

[fushitoru]

aashi i may be in the minority here but i desperately need bridgerton nanami 😭

idk i feel like there are barely any nanami fics on this app and even on ao3 like i only ever see one shots for my man but i desperately need to read a long fic about him and bridgerton nanami is soo babygirl and the whole lady whistledown plot is so so interesting too i really hope u end up writing it ily

also if u have any long nanami fic recs pls give em to me im starving 😪

- anon in ur walls

oop-

i meannnn if you are are craving nanami series I do have an enemies to lovers / academic rivals idea but I’m not sure. im experiencing writers block I fear the fear of being a one hit wonder is toe gripping

and yes lowk it’ll be interesting to see. I might rewatch season three to see if I gain inspo

but nanami series rec (all are completed, 18+, hurt/comfort):

@/pseudowho's Infiltration. Canon AU, i loved the pining in this. It had a lot of my favorite tropes, including forced proximity, the classic making out to avoid getting caught, and fake marriage (to overthrow a cult).

@/ayyy-pee's Strangers in Love. Exes to lovers and the angst hurt so good, but they made up so well. Like I said before, Nanami has his own faults and deserves to yearn, and this fic fits the bill perfectly.

@/delirious-donna's Your Best Friend's Brother. The humor is done amazingly well, and their writing style is amazing. The sexual tension is actually INSANE there were times I was screaming at them to fuck because of the chemistry they had :3

I'm very selective with my recs, and I think these fics had what I tend to require: good characterization of Nanami, stylistic and good writing style, and pining.

[leahrintarou]

can you please please please please pretty please with a cherry on top write a smut fic with a mean dom kita, but he still showers you in touches and fulfills your needs ? just like …… please make him so dirty, filthy mouth mean, and depraveddddd i NEED himmmmm (oh and breeding kink might fit in here too oops :D)

🎃 Kita Shinsuke - Hard Dom

Warnings: hard!dom kita x fem reader, jealousy, fem bodied reader, mentions of kita looking at other women, penetration/stimulation, barely noticeable breeding kink lol, im not used to writing hard dom guys so um i hope i did a lil sum sum with this lmao

Word Count: 1.9k

kita's hand increasingly squeezed the plush of her thigh, daunting her with her inability to focus solely on the screen. tighter it got, as every jumpscare played out. their living room was dim, the television sharply breaking the lack of light with warm and gray-scaled radiance. flashes of images spouting from its glint. her legs were enclosed around her boyfriend’s infiltrating digits with what she thought was an innocent gesture; though, unbeknownst, it soon came to be much more.

their night started off rather uneventfully, as their exhaustion made itself apparent from their long day out with friends. walking around aimlessly was the one thing that fuelled the drag, but not without feelings of isolation. With the pairing of cold shoulders accompanied by prolonged silent treatments, y/n didn’t dare confront kita with her mindfulness of when his gaze lingered on the faces of some of the women in their friend group. 'It's just basic manners of eye contact; he’s not doing anything wrong' is what she would relentlessly repeat to herself.

even though she'd try to convince herself that her boyfriend was never the type to do such a thing, his friendliness would counteract her ideas of hope with doubtfulness. kita noticed how she'd loosen the grip between their interlocked fingers whenever he'd share a laugh with one of the girls. how her smile would falter when he turned his head to converse with them. though this detail was small, he still picked up on how y/n would have him repeat his sentences because she 'didn't hear' him, even though they were within a finger’s reach of each other. all she craved was his attention, even if it were to be extended by a second.

tensions clouded their drive back home. in an attempt to swat away the fog, they mutually agreed to watch a newly released horror movie in the silent hopes of easing their obvious discomfort. kita began to develop the trait of learning to hide his emotions, which would prove beneficial to his volleyball team as it kept the opposing side guessing what course of action he’d take. Though, as they say, opposites attract. Someone could tell how y/n was feeling from miles away due to her expressive body language. nevertheless, as they sat together on the couch, whether or not y/n relished it, the way she leaned in closer to kita's person as his digits danced against her skin, kita had no trouble being able to read her true, undisclosed feelings.

y/n finally turned her head, breaking the session of excruciating silence and giving kita a lustful glare before placing eager kisses on the crook of his neck. despite the shower that he'd taken just minutes prior, the now-faint scent of his cologne still lingered within the pores of his skin, which she so desperately wanted to bury herself in.

one thing, of course, led to another, and that's what brought them here. kita's hands made restless motions of pleasure with the inserting motions of his digits in and out of her sex. y/n was already becoming a breathless mess at his lack of mercy with her. already coming to her high at least twice already; however, kita was seemingly unpleased. his eyes lingered on the screen of the tv while y/n hugged his arm to try and ground herself to reality while next to him. he forced her to keep her legs spread because if she were to do otherwise...

"i'll stop everything completely."

he said, his eyes still on the TV as he seemed dazed. y/n let out moans as his palm would slightly graze over her bud every once in a while. was he doing this on purpose? of course. did y/n have to know that? absolutely not. and even if she did, it would be the least of her worries since now the movie was coming to an end, which means that kita's attention was now fully focused on y/n. this might've sounded like a good thing a bit earlier in her day, but right now she knew that kita would observe the entirety of her while putting every damn thing on either of their bodies to good use. 

"shin, 'm s-sensetive. slow down for a sec-" her voice faltered with every other word. it was a sight to see, to say the least, and while kita knew he had the ability to follow through with her request, what was the fun in that? he smiled, leaning closer to her ear before placing a kiss on her temple. "why should I? my sweet angel was just complaining about how I gave my attention to other girls, and now she can't handle what she asked for." y/n let out a whine when he fixed his wrist to reach even further inside her. "you're being ungrateful, sweetheart."

kita used his thumb to now give her aching bud more of the attention that he spoke of prior. y/n was immediately sent over the edge at the overwhelming feeling, and the heavy moan that fell along with it was music to kita's ears. his lips wore a smirk of satisfaction when her legs shivered, desperately trying to stay in place as his previous warning was in the back of her mind. "those thoughts of yours can be really stupid sometimes, y/n." he says, his fingers slowing to a pace that would be bearable for her in her state of sensitivity. y/n noticed and was grateful for this gesture of his.

kita used her freehand to sturdily grip y/n's jaw, forcing her to lock eyes with him. "say it, y/n." he started, his eyes flickering down to her sex as he spoke his next words. "say that you're a stupid girl who lets this aching hole think for her." his fingers entered her sex a bit roughly, making y/n wince from the sensitivity. y/n's eyes glossed with unrecognizable and uncontrollable emotion. kita smiled slightly when her legs fluttered closely around his hand. he watched intently, looking back up at y/n with daring eyes that silently said, "close them and you'll realize that I meant what I said, earlier." even despite her many releases, she didn't feel all that satisfied, so she forced herself to think of something else. well, tried to at least.

all she could mutter was, "you're so mean, shin.." y/n whined with a slightly visible pout on her lips. kita released y/n's jaw from his hold as he watched her let out a breath from the action. he quirked an eyebrow, watching y/n's sex as he slowly removed his fingers from her at a slow pace. her arousal coated his digits and leaked down the back of his hand and palm as he held it up in front of both of their opposing faces. "am I, sweetheart?"

y/n was reluctant to give an audible answer, so she sufficed with a nod. "i just don't want that thought crossing this empty head of yours again." he laughed, his tongue skillfully catching the traveling arousal that'd made its way to his wrist. "i'll give you what you asked for, and you're going to take every ounce, got it?" he said, using the pads of his middle and ring finger to swipe a bit of her own arousal onto her bottom lip. he leaned in for a sloppily shared kiss, and as he pulled back, his freehand ran down her abdomen before stopping just barely under her belly button. he pressed into the area slightly, y/n shivering at the bitter temperature of his finger tips.

"is this where you wanna feel me, sweetheart?"

he asked, gently trailing his fingers further up, now stopping above her belly button and below her sternum. "or do you wanna feel me here?" y/n let out a whimper when he pressed into the area with much more force this time. "can you take all of me, angel?" y/n nodded eagerly at his words. kita wasted no time pulling his bottoms down to his thighs, revealing his erected member. y/n knew kita wasn't the type to come apart as quickly as his endurance allowed him to go on for hours.

he quickly placed his hands on her hips, lifting her to straddle his lap instead. he knew y/n was still sensitive, but that made it all the better for his chance of pushing her over the edge. y/n felt tears prick her eyes with a sting as he shifted her to swifly allow her to slide down onto the entirety of his member. kita let out a low groan that almost made y/n tip over the edge.

he found the whole situation pleasing, and as he admired her pleasure-filled features, he lifted her hips slowly before allowing her to fall back down, her thighs meeting with his own bare lap. he continued these motions, seemingly getting off from the friction, of course, but the way y/n reacted to every touch was just as arousing as ever. her whines met with the crook of his neck, and even as she tried to kiss him to muffle her sounds, he pulled back so he'd be able to hear every indication of her climax approaching once more. y/n was obviously displeased by his teasing, but she couldn’t worry anymore about that when he spoke, startling her just a bit.

"if you wanna cum, you gotta do it yourself, sweetheart," he smiled, and with that, he let go of her hips and instead rested his hands on the sides of her thighs. y/n's legs were practically burning, and she knew that he was dead serious, so she mustered up the limited amount of energy that was only being fueled by her pure desire to push herself away from his member, only to meet with his lap once again. kita watched intently, admiring where their bodies connected, letting out a stringy moan at the sight of his girl. y/n was nearing her high, and it was obvious when she gripped the fabric of his shirt with force. "do you want it inside of you, angel?" he questioned, following her lolling head as the energy was being drawn from her being with every movement of hers.

her eyes widened as kita hurriedly awaited an answer. she honestly didn't know whether to say yes or no. ultimately, though, it was never her choice. her body agreed with the first option. "speak up, y/n. i need you to talk to me." his voice was comforting and calm, and y/n knew this was his way of easing any pressure that she might've felt. Momentarily after, she nodded, kita quirking his brow, unsatisfied with her lack of audibility. "with your voice, sweetheart."

she let out a whine of his name before following out with his request. kita gave into his pity felt for y/n, once again firmly gripping her hips to aid her in riding out her approaching climax. they let out synchronized sounds of pleasure as their highs finally approached one another. y/n panted heavily, breath fanning kita's cheek as he admired the slight jolts of pleasure that continued to coarse throughout her body. his warm arousal settled in her sex as kita pulled her to his chest, placing a kiss on her shoulder.

"was i too mean for you, angel?" he teased, letting out a small laugh as she nodded to his words. "then how should I receive your forgiveness?" with that, she lifted her head, already knowing the intentions behind his words. "shinsuke, I'm tired-" she mumbled with a groan.

"how about a two-minute break then?"

"just...TWO MINUTES?" 

I HOPE U ENJOYED THIS, IT WAS A LAST RESORT CHAPTER FOR KINKTOBER THIS YEAR :) !!

Taglist: @meowmeowmau @jiwooahae @sunaemoby @diana7was7here @msbyomimi @chocoweird0 @riiceandsoup @issllaaa

[toxooz]

i'm sure you've described them before but i can't find anything on it so, could you describe the skate squad's powers if they have any?

idk if would say powers moreso just abilities BUT

Ponti with his HUGE ARMS can smash rip tear crunch squish impale ect. his bigass tail can put a hurtin too he can easily hold down a body under there, His ears can hear for miles if he really focuses, and finally his infamous death roll which is basically a gator death roll where they latch onto a limb and twirl tf outta their body

Abios eye has a bunch of phycological powers (oops) and can infiltrate the frontal lobe and get into someones head, see memories (spoiler alerttttttt 👀👀), and can manipulate feelings by controlling the brains chemical production, and probably a lot of other cool brain stuff i gotta get back on my neuroscience im rusty 😔 his eyelashes also emit pheromones that aid in all his succubs stuff but its close range

Ollie n his big brute strength ofc the fact that orcs are naturally super buff n strong but also his demon features where he does the thing similar to Gandalf when he makes the room all dark and terrifying when he's not fuckin around (it was heavily inspired by that) Ollie can make a room go cold and dark from his '''aura'' for lack of better word. His presence gives you the same chills as seeing a ghost and makes you hallucinate ect. That why when he does that ppl typically get too caught up in their body's fight or flight overdrive to be able to think clearly. I'd like to think he gives off Large Animal presence like as if u were in front of a horse or lion and that feeling is amplified when hes indoors lmfao AND he can also 'get in the head' as well like he can say some demonic shit that echoes off of the inside of the skull and can shake the very core of the soul (probably sounds like Sauron in tha head)

Kariiii has her dragon fire that's super hot and glittery so she can be a lil master of illusion if she wants. I'm thinking abt giving her gecko hands n feet so maybe she can climb on walls too if not she can still climb with her wing claws. She can lick her eyeballs and shes also got some fairy pizzaz that kinda works like a special 'aura' as well. She does have a hoarding pink things problem but she makes sure its at least presentable for the most part pfft

Remy oh bOI he doesn't have much goin for him but i think hes kinda got what Ollie's got just to a miniscule extent like he can make the room feel uneasy if he's all sulky and angsty but its only enough to mildly scare or irritate not so much 'strike fear into the hearts of men' cause hes also got that everlasting shadow over the eyes

he can climb like a monkey with his tail ( so can Abby) so ig he's rlly good at parkour

Oscar's got his slime that can be a blessing or a curse when it comes to sticky situations and in the water he's kinda a menace he is SUPER agile and uses his ears for fins when he swims. He's got a 2nd jaw in his mouth for grabbing prey and those teeth carry a nasty bite

Vinny may be soft n fluff but he's also got his lil needle claws and teeth and can be really flexible and agile as well cause son cats WILL fuck u up when theyre angry

[mistresxxx]

Couldn't resist

Ghost x afab reader

This man has been stuck in my head for MONTHS so I had to write. Once again I'm barly getting into writing sumt so please give me a break. This was kinda rushed, I wrote this in about an hour. Nun the less enjoy

Summary: all of task force 141 were having drinks at the base, you got a little to flirty with alejandro.

Warnings ig? - foul language, p in v, rough sex, a drip of praise, ghost just being an asshole. I honestly feel like this man dosent know what calm sex is. He's just aggressive, 18+ minors go away thank you ♡

It just started off as drinks, harmless really. All of task force 141 got done with a mission and thought they'd celebrate with some drinks at the base.

You where not new but had only been apart of 141 for a year. Price walked in with a bottle of vodka "this is apart of my personal collection so you lads should be happy im sharing" he laughed "just pour some shots captain" you smiled back " impaciencia somos ahora?" Alejandro spoke before taking a sip from his beer. You took a shot and looked at him "solo tratando de pasar un buen rato" he leaned in "Sé cómo mostrarte un buen momento hermosa." You smiled "me gustaria eso señor~" you purred. Before you and him could go any further ghost slammed his gun on the table. Which made everyone look over at him "oops" he looked at you.

After that ghost grabbed a bottle of bourbon and went to his room, soup tried shouting "COME ON L.T LIVE ALITTLE" but all that was herd was a slamming door.

The night was calm, soup, gaz and ruddy where playing uno while plastered. Alejandro and price where sitting at the table sipping on there beers going over paper work and you where just watching the three boys act like 5 year Olds. You got tired and decided to go to bed.

The next day was another mission so the boys had to shake the hang overs, which they oddly did well.

Before 141 head out they said goodbye to alejandro and ruddy since they where getting on a plane back to Las Almas. Alejandro went to shake your hand and pulled you in "Quise decir lo que dije princesa" you pulled away wide eyed he smiled at you and started walking away "hasta pronto hermanos" ruddy yelled. You felt a pair of eyes on you, of course they where ghosts. You just walked away.

Price had you and ghost stationed on a building, 2 snipers ready if need be. The rest of the men would infiltrate the building and try to get the drug lord out as peacefully as possible but everyone new that wasn't going to happen.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Do you two have eyes on the target?" Price asked. "Yes sir" you and ghost both spoke, "alright good we're going in now, wait for my call. Soap and his team will go in a little while after us, out."

You leaned back looking at ghost who was still staring threw the scope of his sniper. "He said he'd call it you don't need to keep watch" you spoke matter of factly "don't care" ghost sharply stated. You rolled your eyes and asked "what's been with you lately? You slammed your gun down on the table last night when me and alejandro were talking and you stared daggers into me and him early today." He stayed silent, you then got more annoyed at how dry he was acting so you decided to push his buttons. "Ohhh I know what this is about, you don't like we where flirting with eachother?" He still said nothing trying his dambist to just stare down the scope. You pushed further "come on ghost we fucked once. one time. Dosent mean you get to be mad im was flirting with someone else." Nothing said. And futher you pushed "what is it you scared he might fuck me bet-" your words where cut off with a hand aggressively put around your throat. "You need to learn to shut the fuck up." He looked down at you "oh so he dose speak" you chuckled. Which just pissed him off more. "What do you want "y/n" you smiled "for you to fuck me obviously."

Before you could react he had you up against the wall. "We're making this fucking quick. Pants off." He spoke annoyed. "Yes sir" you smiled. You pulled your panties and your pants down to your ankle. he lifted you up on top of a box that was in the room with you to. He slides 2 fingers in "already wet for me? Fucking slut, you wanted this." You grinned your hips "mmhmm maybe I did" you smile "you annoying little shit." You can see him roll his eyes threw the mask before pumping his fingers into you faster. "Ghost we're entering the building you see us?" Soap asks over the coms, you forgot soaps team hadn't gone in yet. Your eyes widening. "ghost how copy" soap questions "you stay fucking quite" his hand that was on your neck moves to click the button to speak "affirmative I see you. Y/n just wouldn't shut up." He chuckles before shoving his fingers as deep as possible into you. You throw your head back and moan before soap can hears, ghost cues off "ha alright I'll let you two know if we need your guys help sit tight. Out" soap says before entering the building. That was the least of ghost worries "copy" after ghost answer he takes his fingers out of your cunt. "Get on your stomach" Ghost commands. You happily do so "good girl~" he spoke, which made you clinch around nothing. all you could hear after that was the sound of his belt unbuckleing and his pants hitting the ground.

He lines himself up and bends over so his mouth is right by your ear " you annoy the shit out of me so I'm gunna fuck you then your gunna shut the fuck up and stop acting like a fucking slut. Got it." You look up at him "yes sir~ please just fuck me" he chuckles "pathetic" he then slams into you, he gives you maybe a minute to adjust before he sets a relentless pace, your head hanging low while you moan in ecstacy. "Yes fuck, oh my go- just like that" you don't know what your saying at this point you just don't want him to stop. He grabs you by the throat and pounds into you more "you voice is so- ah fucking annoying" he is fucking you like he hates you and for some reason it turns you on more.

He's hitting all of the good spots, you feel that knot in your stomach tighten "fuck gho- im gunna uah c-cum" you whine "then play with your clit and cum. I'm not doing all the fucking work." He won't admit it to you but god the way you moan when he fucks you sounds so good but he has to be quick you two are on a mission for fucks sake. It's not long before your cumming, your back arches one hand on the box the other going from your clit to his hand that's on you hips. "Fuck yes oh my God yes" ghost slams into you a few more times before he pulls out and starts to put on his pants.

"Wha but you didn't cum?" You start to fix your hair and pull you panties and underwear back up, he gets closer. "Were on a mission, if im gunna make a mess out of you I'll do it back at the base. You got what you wanted so now I'll get what I want later." You smile and look up "oh so well continue this later?" You ask smugly "sit down and shut up."

----------------------------------------------------------

Mission went successful as always and once everyone was back at the base and everyone was in there rooms. You where at your desk doing paper work when your phone dinged, you looked over at it when it read *message from L.T*

"Time to hold up your end of the deal princess"

[princess-of-the-corner]

jfng im sorry but i hella thought "Chloé training in theater with Alfred and the other family members, mainly for spying/infiltration/etc purposes is the acting training Zoe wished she could have"

oop

[httpiastri]

some quick notes from your previous reply (i’m sorry i took so long ive been so busy recently but i finally have time now so):

firstly, i hope i never meet a handball player irl, ever. the fact that you just casually know people above 200cm?? i’m sorry but i’d actually feel like a pest around everyone 😓😓 (plus id get really jealous of heights) and id also be terrified to even stand near anyone close to 200 pls

and omg the fact that the guy who got you into coaching recently passed? i hope you’re doing okay 😓🙏 but if it helps— he may not have known how much he changed your life, but through coaching, you’re basically keeping his legacy alive, yeah? i think it matters, personally, that people are remembered and honoured and you’re kinda doing that through coaching, because you’re kinda solidifying (if that’s the right word for it) the fact that he existed, and he did enough good to change the lives of people for the better, and that his time here on earth wasn’t all in vain because he did good and he brought joy to people like you by leading you to being a coach and that his impact lives on even when he’s gone yk? it’s a form of closure, i think— to know that even if someone is gone now, there are pieces of them scattered behind in little things (in your case, in your daily life as a coach), and that not all is lost, just a little harder to find

also oops the fact that i called them girls even though they’re only a barely a few years younger than me 😭😭

and omg pepe would 100% make me feel comfortable meeting him at a race even if he might be stressed and no way you got to go to races at 8?? you had a chance to be one of those cute kids probably decked out in merch (if no merch was involved you probably got to scream happily at everything and good for you😭😭 because thats exactly how races should be experienced)

finding sponsors can’t be that hard… we could infiltrate the space in various ways im sure (my friend’s mum knows someone who works for Marlboro that gets invited to races bc the company was an EX-sponsor so anything’s possible)

on a rather unrelated note— pepe’s been acting very much like a muse for me recently… whatever that might mean… (might even be nothing honestly sometimes i don’t know what i mean either)

anyway! as always, i hope you have a lovely lovely friday, and weekend, and june (pepe’s month!), and that people are kind to you and that the sky looks beautiful and gorgeous all the time ❤️❤️

- 🪷💗

gosh dont apologize :( esp since you know im bad at answering….. its alright 🥺 just glad to hear from you 🥺🥺

shdjdhd it do be scary to meet really tall people!! when im around the men's team i work with sometimes, i almost get neck pains bcs staring up at them is so hard ���‍💫 and i have this other job where i have to like sit by the court and do things for the match, and when players come over to talk to me and they literally tower over me???? insane 😶 but yes i too get jealous of heights, esp since in handball it's good for girls to be tall too so everyone around me is always tall asf? ive always been considered to be a tall person in school but at 175cm i am nowadays considered short in the team i currently play in 😐😐😐 so yes i feel u aaa (also several of the girls i coach are my height already and just. pls stop growing, you're scaring me. 🥲)

ALSO OMFG i almost forgot to answer this but i had a thought yesterday.... about my favorite volleyball player being 188cm and i thought "hm that's not very far off from pepe" so of course i have now started thinking about volleyball player!pepe 😶 idk if you enjoy volleyball aaaaaaa but i just thought about his height and his big ass hands that would make hitting the ball easier and just..........

thank you, im doing okay but it's still weird to imagine? because i haven't really had anyone close to me (or even semi-close) pass away so it's a very new experience, being in his neighborhood (very close to where i live) and thinking "oh what if i see him in the shop like that day-" before realizing... but god you put it in such a sweet way, im lowkey teary eyed :( i will continue to do my best to keep his legacy alive and honor him through my coaching!!! he created this thing that became so important to me and for that i will be forever thankful. but yes i agree, it means that he brought more meaning to my life and therefor also the girls i coach, and that's such a beautiful thing. it's life, i guess 😭 so hard but also so sweet...

skdjfhdjjf dont worry, i call them "children" to their faces very often even though some are even 16 😁 but to be fair ive known a lot of them since they were nine so to me they're still babies :(( also you being that young and still so smart is so cool and cute aaa

no because i have imagined meeting pepe MANY times and i really really think he would be so sweet about it. very happy that i recognize him and like "aw hey it's okay! no tears please" when i cry 😭 and i think he also would agree to do a silly pose with me for a photo aksjdhfjkdf 😭 i sadly didn't buy a lot of merch BUT (did i mention this already?? then i will be so insanely embarrassed....) we did get me a kimi lotus cap for obvious reasons 🥺 that i still have to this day actually !!! and ofc we took a pic of me next to the lotus truck 🤭 (also realizing now that i wasn't 8, i was 9 or 10 🤣 well well)

oh! then i think we can pretend to be your friend's mum's friend's kids? so we should also be invited?? or maybe we just need to get a job somewhere that has connections and can invite us..... to be fair my dad wrote to dino beganovic's manager or something about sponsoring him just for funsies (idk how u mean to sponsor someone just for fun tho 😶 he was like "what if i get my company's logo on his car and in return we get to come into the paddock once?..."), but then the manager responded with a full deal and stuff and my dad just got scared 😭 but we should keep looking, i'm sure we can find a good sponsor for us 🥰

aaaaa that's so sweet 🥺 i love that 🥺🥺🥺 if you feel like talking further about it, im all ears 🥰

aw dalring i hope you have an even lovelier lovely friday and week and month and year !!! and yes yes pepe's month, i think it will be very good to us all (esp him!!!!!!!) 🥰 i think that maybe the world listened to your ask because the sunset was so gorgeous tonight 🥺 so thank you for that <3<3

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 9.15.23: Axeholm, again

joins call. jorb tells me that they're discussing if we'd rather fight one horse-sized spoink or several spoink-sized horses We Are Now Talking About Pikmin.

LAST TIME, ON DERAGON IF ICESPIRE PEAK: OUR HEROES ARRIVE AT HTE OFORGOTTEN DRAWRVEN FORTRESSO GF AXHOLE . WE . FRONT GATE LOCKED. CAREFUL INTILFRATION , IM FUCKING THIS UO PSO BA D. DAUBLE. HOWEVER, A HORRIBLE STENCH PERMEATED THESE HALLS, AND THE SOURCE WAS QUICKLY DISCOVERED TO BE FOUL DWARVEN GHOULS ROAMING THE HALLS. AREPO'S RESEARCH SUGGESGTED AXEHOLM HAD FALLEN TO A BANSHEE IN AGES PAST. WILL OUR HEROES BE ABLE TO SECURE AXEHOLM? FIND OUT…….. TODAY! THIS SUCKS SO BAD

Last time, on Dragon of Icespire Peak!

Our heroes arrived at the forgotten dwarvern fortress of Axeholm, seeking to ensure that it's safe for refugees from Phandalin should the need arise. Upon arrival, they found the front gate locked, but after a careful infiltration through arrows slits in the walls, Dauble was able to open the doors for the rest of the group. However, a horrible stench permeated these halls, and the source was quickly discovered to be foul dwarvern ghouls, roaming the halls in undeath, including one carrying a signet ring with Axeholm's crest. Arepo's research suggested that the fortress had fallen at the hands of a banshee in ages past, which may well still be haunting the lost fortress. After several battles against the risen, and more yet to come, will our heroes be able to secure Axeholm? Find out, today!

DIRECTLY INTO INITIATIVE! right i forgot we left off right before an encounter fixing the issue from last time of "deleting tokens blows up initiative" by putting invisible men under the ground. like fallout nyx put on 1 Hour Of Silence Interrupted By Pikmin Noises and got jumpscared

green: my father was a pikmin jorb: oh! green: don't ask.

arepo's up to bat! time for vicious mockery. oh hey we can see healthbars now jorb: how are you giving kepesk bardic inspiration? green: you just hand it to me.

[insert the "dauble!" "boggle!" conversation Again - NYX HAS ONCE AGAIN BEEN JUMPSCARED BY PIKMIN nyx: ok im normal, im normal. i have a pikmin on my shoulder but its vibing, im here jorb: wildshape into a pikmin. 2 inches tall

dauble does not wildshape into a pikmin. dauble is using word of radiance! -oh they're not close enough nevermind. wait no they've moved into range. WORD OF RADIANCE!

oh right. walls exist. kepesk sadly cant clip through walls. thankfully attack of opportunity bounces right off him!

hm. gettin kinda crowded in here

HOLY SHIT MY CROSSBOW WORKED. IT ACTUALLY GOT A KILL FOR ONCE. WILD . also used a nat20 to annihilated a guy with 2hp left Consultation Saving Throw - ah oh no dauble is now paralyzed . that's an issue. OH GOD THEY GET AUTO-CRIT NOW IF ANYBODY MELEES THEM? THAT'S AN ISSUE

jorb: you feel necrotic energy seeping into your limbs and you cant move. nyx: or speak. jorb: your mouth is a limb! leo and jason: Hm.

arepo is casting sleep! OOPS NEVERMIND UNDEAD AREN'T AFFECTED BY SLEEP. time for another vicious mockery (and also whacking dauble with bardic inspiration. 🎶 walk it off walk it off walk it off) jorb: dauble, it's your turn! you are paralyzed and inspired! hooray, the inspiration got dauble back on their feet! still surrounded by ghouls (and lizards) though

kepesk being the change he wants to see in the world (killing people)! ghouls cant fall asleep but they CAN feel shame

green: [rolls a 23 on a con save] jorb: would you like to use your bardic inspiration? green: UHH?????? (she was fine)

jason: i think i broke something. leo: WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?? (apparently he rolled two nat10s back to back. he's also fine)

DAUBLE KNOWS INFLICT WOUNDS. SURE. A NECROMANCY SPELL. SURE. anyway they are inflicting the hell out of those wounds

nyx: im going to grab [the ghoul] by the neck and bash his head into the floor. leo: HOLY SHIT jason: i ""cast"" inflict wounds nyx: and he's going to get fucking raptured. he's going to wilhelm scream himself out of existence kepesk: I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT!

well! that's one way to end an encounter! don't you hate it when you're paralyzed so you have to reduce a zombie to a fine dust

arepo has found a platinum amulet with a hammer and anvil! and also a little chest. jason: what horrible monster have i unleashed. jorb: the mimic eats you. um - oh hey arepo finds another potion! oh its labeled this time so he doesnt need to drink to find out. superior healing!

dauble's hoarding instinct is kicking in. wuh oh alidaar: i put a hand on dauble's face and shove them away like a misbehaving cat. hmm. dauble doesn't like the amulet, actually. oh its the symbol of moradin, the dwarven god of creation! alidaar's holding onto it for now.

jorb: so you're heading up the stairs, dauble? leo: dauble! green: dauble! jason: daubling up the stairs.

WUH OH. BANSHEE.

jorb: its face becomes a mask of rage as it screams G [cuts out]

dauble: uh. guys? kepesk: treasure? :D alidaar: i dont think treasure screams. arepo: well, sometimes. alidaar: …do you have experience in screaming treasures?? kepesk: i had a treasure that screams, actually. …it's a long story. alidaar: huh. neat. kepesk: it doesn't scream anymore though alidaar: why does that sound so concerning

kepesk: [to the banshee] dude, you gotta get out of here, there's a banshee in the castle TIME FOR INITIATIVE

leo: [checking tracker] ooh, she has a name! (jorb: how's the pikmin noises going?) jason: most people have one. she has a "hello my name is vyldara" sticker (she does not)

arepo leading the battle with vicious mockery! and telling the banshee she's off-key for 1 psychic damage.

jorb: she uses horrifying visage. so everyone in 60 feet that can see her - green: alidaar can't see.

jorb: i'm assuming he's been looking around the corner! leo: yeah he's peering around scooby doo style

WUH OH . everybody but arepo failed their wisdom save! - nevermind, dauble got advantage bc They've Seen Worse. the reptile duo are now scared shitless what are lizards afraid of that mammals arent? pufferfish.

ah no this sucks. we can't move willingly closer and we have disadvantage in line of sight. thiiiis suuuuuuucks kepesk tries throwing a javelin! unfortunately, shaky hands from Absolute Terror makes a miss. man what am i gonna do

green: if we win, i'll pick [the javelin back] up. nyx: IF???????

OOF. NAT 2 AND NAT 1. kepesk has dropped the javelin on his foot

the fact that the two heavy hitters are frightened is not good, actually. i mean dauble and arepo are pretty good at what they do but kepesk and alidaar are both the up-close brawlers and they are currently unable to get up close and have a disadvantage on brawling.

DAUBLE WALKS UP. SMACKS KEPESK UP ON THE HEAD. "GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER" it is REALLY funny that the tiny halfling and the bookworm bard are completely unaffected by this and the two beefy lizards are weeping and wailing in terror

kepesk: you wouldn't get it, it's a lizard thing, alidaar: she's a pufferfish!

dauble knows turn undead! apparently they did this before and i forgot

nyx: im going to hold up my - jesus christ i forgot about the pikmin. jorb: you hold up your pikmin!

dauble is using shadow clone juitsu! sure. dauble 2: the second one. green: cmon kid we've gotta save dauble… 2!

discussing if we can throw kepesk or not. unfortunately we cant green: so long, gay kepesk! jorb: thank you for playing my game!

I Am Going To Shove Kepesk . i have shoved kepesk

kepesk: [TERRIFIED SCREAMING AS HE IS SHOVED FIVE FEET TOWARDS THE BANSHEE]

alidaar ducked out of line of sight and shook off the fear! shoving kepesk made him feel better.

jorb: arepo conjures a spray of spectral black lotuses. jason: i'm trying to think of a magic card with ugly art to be like "oh, you think that's bad?" nyx: he throws pot of greed. green: wait, but what does that card do?! leo: IT ALLOWS ME TO DRAW TWO CARDS AND ADD THEM TO MY HAAAAAAAAAAAND

arepo has showered the banshee in a spray of ugly-ass cards.

wuh oh. arepo and kepesk having to make con saves against a mournful wail! kepesk rolled a 1 but thankfully he has bardic inspiration - ah wait no he's one short. AH OH GOD DIRECTLY TO ZERO

Dauble Has Entered Kill Mode . INFLICT WOUNDS!

………..oh my god there's no effect.

green: ..so what happens if we all die? like is that it, we delete the discord, [..] jason: is kepesk still afraid while dead? green: kepesk is on a second adventure in his brain where it's like YOU'LL FAIL and he's like NO, MY FRIENDS ARE WITH ME

The Unconscious Kepesk Is No Longer Frightened green: in my dream state, im having a miniboss battle

hm . i cant really do much from where i'm at even after running up, i'd have to close the distance somehow before using any of my runes… jorb: you could use your crossbow! leo: alright. fuck it.

leo: WHOA! [..] alright, i'm using my crossbow again!

leo: … [strained] i love my crossbow, it sucks so bad

arepo has given kepesk the superior healing potion! wahoo! chekhov's potion in full effect green: the potion was cursed and because you used the action to give it to me, i'm fully cursed. jason: why would you say that? kepesk hugging arepo and weeping

huh. the banshee has Left. well. kepesk is giving chase through the closest door!

leo: [EXPLOSIVE LAUGHTER] jorb: what, what's happened?? leo: the - the state of the room! green: not just the state of the room…

green: …you'll see it is NOT CONNECTED.

kepesk stomps out of the room and his rage activates on its own ah. the room kepesk went in has a stone tub full of gnawed dwarven bones. great!

nyx: i have a question. is the banshee smart enough to know dauble 2 isn't real? jorb: is kepesk smart enough to know dauble 2 isn't real? green: kepesk 100% thinks there's two daubles.

hm. alidaar can't get in the room. CROSSBOW TIME jason: oh, he's shooting into the door? jorb: alidaar shouts "dauble, duck!" nyx: both daubles duck.

crossbow just BARELY hits - leo: i'm using my fire rune! GUESS WHAT I REMEMBERED - guess what i realized my crossbow counts as a weapon!

rolling my physical dice bc i like doing that once a session i guess! oh god i have to get on the floor to roll my physical dice . oh god ive unplugged my headset. great googly moogly its all going to shit

OH . GREAT. SHE HAS A RESISTANCE TO FIRE AND IS IMMUNE TO BEING RESTRAINED. AKA THE TWO THINGS MY FIRE RUNE DOES. MAN

we have another pile up.

green: IF I COMPEL DUEL THEM, WILL THEY GET AN ATTACK OF OPPORTUNITY FROM ALL THREE OF THEM? [..] jason: definitely cast compel duel on the creature that's demonstrated an attack that goes in a straight line [and kills us instantly].

i appear to have spaced out at a bad time. is green rolling to see which ally to slap to keep kepesk's rage going nevermind, kepesk has bit a ghost. jason: refreshing, tangy ectoplasm. jorb: it's kinda like biting a lacroix?

jorb: using your noggin! leo: you're THINKING! nyx: i'm thinking!! jason: Now You're Thinking With Daubles [...] jorb: so true, bestie. i mean, b-slur nyx: WHY WOULD YOU CALL ME A SLUR NOW OF ALL TIMES green: I SPACED OUT FOR A SECOND, HUH? leo: ME TOO?? (nyx has a running joke where he says b-slur instead of bestie)

HERE COMES ALIDAAR WITH A STEEL CHAIR!! jorb: how would you like to do this? leo: ……………i don't know! alidaar fuckin Vaults over arepo and slaps that bitch apart. LET'S GO

alidaar pets dauble on the head. alidaar pets dauble 2 on the head. dauble 2 evaporates

dauble stares kepesk down and tells him "be more careful next time. i can't afford to lose you." alidaar holds out the most awkward fistbump and goes "aayyyyy, gettin knocked down and yelled at for it buddies…!"

jorb showed off the banshee stat block and it has SO MANY RESISTANCES AND IMMUNITIES. ITS IMMUNE TO COLD. FUCK MY LIFE FOREVER

jorb: there's another bedroom [..] who puts their bed in the middle of the room, god damn. GOD DAMNIT I ALERTED THE HORDE (STIRGES) dauble wakes up, goes FUCK YOU, and explodes a stirge

arepo: there's bugs in there. kepesk: ew!

jason: are they bugs? jorb: they look like this but smaller. [posts image] green: every time you show me this it looks more and more disgusting.

arepo has viciously mocked the final stirge . arepo: the rest of you already left, what are you still doing here =/

alidaar has rolled an 11 to smack the stirge like a mosquito. that's a miss. this is incredibly embarrassing EVERYONE IS TRYING TO SLAP THE STIRGE OFF ALIDAAR. AND FAILING NEVERMIND. KEPESK HAS FLICKED THE STIRGE INTO A WALL WITH A NAT 20 UNARMED STRIKE. FUCKING CLOWNSHOW

things the fireplace contains: 100 more stirges, a banshee, the second boar, sephiroth,

Everyone Has Become Fascinated With This Fireplace

jorb: any magic items you miss will go in the dragon hoard. nyx: jorb i am going to go to your house and eat you jorb: that's what i've been doing! any loot goes in the dragon hoard! leo: we've been REALLY bad at looting things.

dauble has found a chest! time to put the signet ring in it dauble: put the ring in there. kepesk: oh, jeffrey! nyx: dauble stares at him. green: i don't know why it's jeffrey the ring on my character sheet.

kepesk: nooo i dont wanna go in there, youre gonna cask of amontillado me! dauble: i will if you dont put the ring in there!

ooo! fancy helmet and fancy gauntlets! green: [hopeful] wearable for lizardpeople? jorb: eh, you can make it work.

dauble has decided to shove the items in their bag and scoot out. dauble please. dauble you have 10 magic items. dauble we're dying

oh hey this place has hot water! and also bones in the tub but that's fine

I Roll An Eight On Animal Handling To Find Out There's A Naturally Heated Hot Spring Underground

okay i guess we're cleaning the bone tub. cool

WE HAVE KNOWN AREPO FOR LIKE, A WEEK, WE ARE NOT GETTING NAKED IN THE BONE TUB WITH HIM arepo has decided to walk away. kepesk doesn't shower. Roll To See If Dauble Has Seen A Capybara (they have not)

jorb: alidaar, what are you doing? leo: staring at the binturong. wondering how his life got to this moment. alidaar sits in the tub with his entire armor on.

Advancement Unlocked: How Did We Get Here?

Time To Interrogate Dauble (in the bath) hoo boy! alidaar is very suspicious of dauble's newfound necromantic magic, but dauble keeps brushing it off because they dont want to lose anybody else - tobias isn't the first person theyve lost, and if this helps them keep people safe, then its fine. alidaar tells them "if you didn't want to lose people, you made a bad choice becoming an adventurer." it gets Supremely Awkward bc of them being in the Bone Tub and alidaar exits stage left

jason: does the binturong popcorn smell get stronger when wet?

Kepesk Is Now The Chosen Lizard (binturong has climbed up on kepesk's shoulder) nyx: dauble is not speaking to any of their lizards right now.

hm. the walls in here are covered with weird secretions that would allow creatures to walk on walls and ceilings…. like a gecko…………….

GIANT GECKOS (hey remember last time when i mentioned jorb said he needed to reskin some monsters)

jorb: first up is the immune to ninjas dauble "dauble!" "dauble!"

unfortunately arepo is out of spell slots and wasnt able to regain them on a short rest. this will be a problem most likely

WHAT . ALIDAAR TWOSHOT A GECKO . SURE (breath weapon + dragonslayer crit) and kepesk follows up with nearly taking a gecko down! off to a great start :D

OH NO IM BEING YOSHI'D

jorb: do you have any bonus actions? leo: uhhh, i do, but i dont think it would help me any.. or be good for anyone around me…… jorb: your breath weapon? oh, no, that's- leo: giant's might. |D; jorb: oh! green: shove kepesk down the stairs. jorb: that's a wall, not a railing, so.. green: smushes kepesk against the wall. nyx: you hear - [mario super mushroom soundboard] - and kepesk gets smushed

(i have decided to not use giant's might)

jorb announces the start of a round with "[name], you're up! with [next] on deck." and it's very fun. it reminds me of being in theatre for some reason

jorb: and that's a natural 1! nyx: take double damage! -no not actually jorb: i believed you! you could've lied to me! leo: always lie to your dm. it is always morally correct

I HAVE FINALLY USED MY INSPIRATION . leo: i have had that inspiration for a literal year. green: WHAT

GIANT'S MIGHT TIME . where's the funny button [SUPER MUSHROOM NOISE]

meanwhile, kepesk continues killing

arepo gives alidaar bardly inspiration by playing the godzilla theme. or jurassic park because that's the only one any of us can remember at the time. wait no green remembered it, jorb had to google it though

jorb: how do you want to do this? leo: UM. I HAVE A FUNNY IDEA BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS,

GIANT LIZARD ON GIANT LIZARD WRESTLING MATCH . alidaar chucks a gecko down the stairs. amazing way to end an encounter YET AGAIN . the gecko also has a very delayed explosion after we leave

kepesk's time for a fireplace adventure! a gecko eats his head and he dies instantly. no hes fine

OKAY! one nap later and we've cleaned up axeholm best we can, so time to go back to phandalin!

…ah . uh oh. there's a shadow over phandalin. cryovain swoops down, then flies off east. BOOKIN IT TO PHANDALIN AAAAAAAAAAA

nyx: oh god, did he take the barrel crab?! green: NOOO! THE BARREL CRAAAAAAAB!

oh god. ice and talon marks outside barthen's provisions. everybody's in a panic. OH HEY SILDAR'S HERE sildar was kepesk's traveling companion! and also became barry bluejeans in another universe but that's not really relevant. rest of the wilders are in neverwinter though

NOOOO OH MY GOD CRYOVAIN STOLE VINCENT…….. MAN………………..

OH . SURE. we have gotten paid 250 gold for axeholm! also alidaar is trying to be the coolest guy in the room, sorry kepesk </3 alidaar has handed the 250 gold over to dauble. we are never getting it back

sildar: do you know where the dragon's lair is? alidaar: [nervous sweating]

oh thank god. dauble does.

sildar: i wish you best of luck as you go out to slay… the dragon of icespire peak. leo: YIIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(there was also some after session discussion about what dauble's deal is! apparently something that got left out of my notes TWO YEARS AGO during the dwarven excavation was that dauble got the cursed necklace from the body of a dwarven cleric. their name being dauble is a Recent Development, and it happens to translate to "treasure" or "valuable". they've become very possessive of the party, just like they've become possessive of any treasure in proximity. they dislike the moradin pendant. I'M SURE THIS IS FINE.)

[whosaidsealscantfly]

Finding Home (4494 words) by TheFlyingSeal Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Welcome Home - Clown Illustration Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Wally Darling (Welcome Home) & Original Female Character(s) Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Wally Darling, Barnaby B. Beagle, Home - Character, Julie Joyful, Frank Frankly, Eddie Dear, Sally Starlet, Howdy Pillar, Question-Answerer, Poppy Partridge Additional Tags: maybe there will be romance?? we'll see how this story develops, im basically manifesting my theories about the story through this fic, and if they're wrong. then oops, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Action/Adventure, no beta we die like men, POV First Person, Detectives, Horror, Psychological Horror Summary:

Gloria Alvarez and her rookie partner, Alana O'Quinn, are specialized detectives who are assigned on a case to track down a suspect in a string of crimes. An anonymous tip leads the duo to discover the Welcome Home Restoration Project and its webpage. They decide to infiltrate from the inside in order to investigate what their suspect, the "Question-Answerer," is up to; however, when Gloria and Alana realize that something is off about Welcome Home and its website, the pair realize they've stumbled upon something more than they can bargain for. -------------------------

Hi hi! This is my contribution to the Welcome Home fandom. It's a little bit different from all the other OC works I've seen, so I hope it's not so jarring? This concept has been brewing in my brain for some time as I always love a good horror mystery, and since we're only in the prologue of WH's story, I figured, why not!

Because this is a story that follows the events of Welcome Home, updates will reflect what we currently know! It will also have the same content warnings Clown posted about Welcome Home, so please keep that in mind @:]

Also, while my goal is to try and write my story along with Welcome Home, there will be some things that stray from canon due to creative liberties. But!! I will try to adapt as we learn new information without retconning anything. It's a good challenge for me, methinks..

Not every OC you see here belongs to me either!

Gloria Alvarez belongs to me Alana O'Quinn belongs to @AMWells on AO3 and @AMontheFM on Twitter Commissioner Rakesh "Rocky" Kapoor belongs to @MDoebling on Twitter

If you like it, be sure to let me know! I will update regularly, but a little kindness and appreciation always boosts morale <3

[altruistic-meme]

I'm slowly working on my queer fiction shelf! I went out shopping today for new titles to add, and I'm happy that I've got "The Song of Achilles" and "Blue Lily, Lily Blue" (book 3 of The Raven Cycle) on the way as well :)

I have only read a few of these so far, but im definitely going to work on reading them all!

I've finished Good Omens, the Captive Prince trilogy + side stories, and the All For the Game trilogy. I'm hoping to start the Raven Cycle books this week, and we'll see where I go from there!

Books on the shelf, in order:

Heartstopper v1 by Alice Oseman, Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann, Secondhand Origin Stories by Lee Blauersouth, Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys, The Dream Thieves, and The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, The Foxhole Court, The Raven King, and The Kings Men by Nora Sakavic, The Summer Palace (and other short stories), Captive Prince, a Prince's Gambit placeholder (bc I own the book but it's with my sister), and Kings Rising by C.S Pacat, and Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

[bobzora]

confession ive never actually seen the yaldabaoth bad end i just know joker makes like. a face. you know, a face?might harass my friend to pretty please grab it for me when he gets there in his playthrough (which is on my ps. soooooo new thieves den unlock!)

[gothreigen]

“i’m going to beat you with the power of friendship and this gun i found” but it’s “i’m going to beat you with the power of friendship and this alien super weapon i found when i infiltrated a government facility”

[erotetica]

me; postulating rory gilmore is latina bc alexis bledel is latina: is this anything? is this anything? what about this is this anythi 

[studiorainey]

Worker Bee

[infiltrated-adventure]

New page added.

>Read from start.

>Read from update.

[crazyspookies]

ZRS9Part1

Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well, Well...look who’s here

it’s me!

and also

Him

Alright so there’s a lot of stuff ive been thinking about S9, some of it good some of it bad, but i told @siriusmistake​ (wink ;)) that i had some strong feelings about Van Ark’s presence in the plot so this post is sponsored by them and consists on me flailing about stuff lol Also this is long oops here we go

1. Van Ark is alive Reveal

If you’ve been around long enough, you’ll know i’ve always suspected this so just to get it out of the way: i knew it

Many of us did to be fair. Now let me tell you a story “fenn im not here for a history lesson” Well aren’t you.

2. A History of Belief

This is the part where i talk about all the clues and theories about Vana Ark bein alive, you can skip it if you wanna lol. Back in...S5 there was not one but TWO occasions where i thought there would be a “van ark is alive” reveal. Once, in M3 (yes i looked it up) when we infiltrate Abel the first time and there is a moment we talk to Lobatse where we go into one hut and it’s full of cryogenic freezers and i thought “that’s it, here he is”. Same happened when we infiltrated abel as a spy and Sigrid took us to see the cryofreezers.

Why did i think that? My reasoning was that 1) Unless we see someone’s body we can’t really be sure they’re not dead (hello paula, hello sarah, hello simon, hello p-, you get the gist). 2) Sure, we hit him with a rocket launcher; but then again we did too on our first day and we’re fine.

Mostly. I theorized that maybe we damaged him enough to warrant him a few years out of the game. We got told that New Canton took care of the body but, at the time, Sigrid hadn’t showed her true colors yet so it would have been easy for her to just move things around to get it for herself and put him in cryo. Then S7 gave me a red herring by making me think, for the space of a single afternoon, that there was a possibility that Sage was Van Ark. I was real on the fence with this one because i saw the flaws in my theory but also. Didn’t regeneration change Peter’s face just enough not to look immediately recognizable? Was Sage Van Ark faking a nice attitude? Seemed a bit too crazy, but also someone compared van ark, dr.tomorrow and sage together.

Still, it felt too crazy. Right? ...RIght??? And to quote myself “I don’t trust van ark to know how to even fake how to be useful and kind to society and create ways to make a better community and be sensitive to other’s emotions for as long as Sage has been doing it. He can’t be that good an actor. the part where he might be alive and got a new face is not that crazy though.” So true past me, so true. Still, we did get something juicy in S7M25-26 that gave us a clue to Van Ark being alive, besides other things. We go with Maxine to a facility where Sigrid had created some nanotech capable of nullifying the regeneration abilities, in case she needed them to take care of Van Ark. True love right there fellas. HOWEVER, the nanites were in “regeneration mode”. Hmmm well isn’t that interesting. Obviously it gives us a clue that all the above could be true. That Sigrid got Van ark’s body and tried to speed up his regeneration. Now in retrospect it has more connotations still. More on that later.

Also in S8 sam goes ahead and drops one big “well we never did see his body” so

3. He’s Alive! So what.

Amelia: quite a shoker huh! Every one of us who has been expecting him to show his ugly ass at any moment: this bitch again huh So, he’s alive. Not that much of a surprise, considering. Still, the reveal comes around and i can’t help but think that the thing i care about most is how they’re going to pull this off. Van ark being alive by itself is of not much consequence to me anymore as plot device. Bringing a big baddie back - and this is the very first Big Baddie himself- it’s a risky thing to do. Is it the right thing to do? Maybe, if done properly. Or in a way i like lol. And honestly s2s hasn’t given me a lot of confidence when it comes to handling old and sensitive character related topics in  S9P1 (looking at you, sam’s-being-opened-up-without-consent-and-injected-with-another-being thing and no one batting an eye about it. Especially not Five who def has no traumatic experiences related to medical torture and being injected people in their head, no sir). So yeah, it’s a risk, and it’s an old baddie anyway, we’ve killed him once already, we know his whole shebang already, he’s old news.

Indeed, Leslie, THE DRAMA. His reappearance is important to me, for the most part, because it’s bound to unbury some very angsty, dramatic little feelings on any Abel character that’s had to deal with him before. Especially Peter. Five too but that’s headcanon territory.

I mean it’s almost fine when we were in the UK. Terrible, sure, but feels...distant enough? We suspected this might happen, we just have to go there, kill him again, deal with whatever has to be dealt with and come back. Easy peasy yeah? Five’s used to this. There’s a little knot in their stomach and kind of a guilty giddiness to get moving already. They think it might have been born out of necessity, because if you dread whatever might happen every time you go out on an (dangerous, possibly deadly, possibly traumatic) “adventure” you’re bound to end up dead. And Van Ark just feels so far away now. The closer we get to scorpion base - and to Van Ark- the tighter the knot in their stomach gets. The closer we get to him the realer it feels, the easier it is to feel old rage bubble to the surface. They look at the others and have to wonder what they feel. In the silence of the desert night they feel their fingers twitch and the scenarios where they meet him more and more real. In the silence of the desert night, the distant gidiness becomes an ugly kind of excitement,  mixed with dread and anger when they think how killing him again might feel and their fingers twitch. For good this time. And, if they get to Van Ark quick enough, they can stop Peter from doing something stupid. They look at Peter, and worry. Peter who’s been wrecked by guilt for for years, Peter who’s been suicidal for years, Peter who only now, very recently, has started to want to get better, to make small steps towards doing so. Peter who has a fucking burn cube sewed on his chest. Peter who’s already died twice because of all this shit. It could help Peter move on, Five knows that. For him to see how much he’s changed, how far his come, to look at the old fucker in the face and tell him to go fuck himself. However they’d rather not risk it. They’ rather not end up in a situation where Peter feels he has no choice. He’s been doing well lately, no need for Van Ark to fuck it all that up. They look at Janine and wonder if she’s thought the same, or if she just refuses to even think it at all while dealing with her grief over Tom to even consider the scenario of losing someone else she cares about. (Might have gotten excited here didn’t expect that lol Also i did a little post about five changing classes in dnd to a Paladin while making this post and ooohhh because i went to read about paladins and about how they’re all about protecting the innocent and delivering justice, and yes that is a generally very Five thing but also found this little gem “[...] Or are you an embittered loner sworn to take vengeance on those who have done great evil, sent as an angel of death by the gods or driven by your need for revenge?“ and isn’t this DELICIOUS. Especially after all that nonsense i just wrote up there) (Also like that moment we learn that Peter has a burn cube sewed up, i swear to GOD s2s you better fucking not.).

4. Ernie

Ok So. first time we see Van Ark he’s behind a door, unconcious and hooked ona  machine and Bakari tells us he’s not in charge of anything, he’s one of the experiments. Obviously the first thing that crosses my mind is both:

and

Janine said no :( She did say we had to get to the uk first and then come back deal with him but how would be even do that. Two birds one stone is what i’m saying. But then we actually meet the guy and oh boy.

5. M15-16

1) “ERNEST VAN ARK: Hello there. Hello! So thrilled to meet you. Do shake my hand. I’m Ernest, by name and by nature. [chuckles] Sorry, my little joke. Ernie Van Ark at your service… is nobody going to shake?”

By now i was real worried because...i really don’t think i’d enjoy a redemtion arc for this character. Amnesia? Not unless he goes right back to being a villain afterwards. This guy chose all the bad things he did with 0 guilt, it would rightly piss me off to see anyone forgive him just becasue “oh he’s helping now”. Not after everything that happened. It’s still a very funny scenario though dsfsdf just the abel crew infiltrating this base, scared shitless because this old nemesis is going to recognize us and welp no he doesn’t??? and he’s looking young?? and hes kinda nice???

 2) “JANINE DE LUCA: You look… young.”

i wonder what that’s about. I think that this is a mix bewteen him being actually younger and also like. We’re all 8 years older. My Five was 26, now they’re 34 it’s been a long-ass time. Guillemete says he’s middle aged so he could be somthing like 45-55? I’ve always guessed him to be early 60′s in S2 so it should be a big enough difference for us to be like “WOAH he looks REALLY YOUNG” so im going to say Earnie looks to be in his early/mid 40′s. 

3) “ERNEST VAN ARK: [...] when they caught wind of his immortality… well, I’m told he had a mishap with a rocket launcher.”

4) ERNEST VAN ARK: “A few scrapings from him ended up on the black market, a little pink and gray matter.Red Scorpion Base purchased them, knew they’d be useful. The cells were inert. The base kickstarted the regeneration process, got them to sort of regrow into me. Took some work, but here I am, all his intellect, none of his memories. It’s my regeneration they want to study, of course.”

Ok so this is a lot of info in one place and also puts thoughts in my head about future etc. After a year since this i’ve had time to come down from feeling kinda pissed but let me tell you, by this point both me and my Five were immenseley frustrated. For many reasons. The main one being the “i don’t know if s2s can pull this off seeing how things have gone”. The “he’s not the original and i can’t confront him the way i pictured” is frustrating but i think it can be interesting precisely because it challenges the characters expectations and introduces a different kind of tension. 

From a character standpoint my Five¡s about to lose it. They’ve been on edge the whole way here and i’ts been getting worse. The recent situation with sam has left them wondering if they can feel safe around their own friends, if they should cut away from Abel, at least for a while if not longer, when all this is over. And then this guy. This guy who looks and sounds like Van ark but isn’t him in theory but has the potential to be anyway and how DARE HE NOT REMEMBER WHAT HE’S DONE.

And that’s the most fun about this situation for me if we are to keep in close contact with Ernie. All those frustrated feelings no one can properly take out on him because he’s not the original van ark so he technically hasn’t done all those terrible things but god his stupid face is right there and is bringing all of it out anyway.

And besides, he could be faking it. Ernie sounds suspiciouly like the person Van Ark was faking to be when we met him the first time (i don’t think this is the case though tbh) and I imagine Five remembers his warning right before they blew him up. ”PROFESSOR VAN ARK: [static] Runner Five, I do hope you can hear me. I’m broadcasting on a wide band of frequencies just to say – I know your face, I know your name. I do not forget, and I do not forgive. I will come and find you. When you least expect it, I am going to destroy you.”

And even if he wasn’t faking there’s other matters too. This is one of those big “people can change/nature vrs nurture/ etc kind of deals right? Sure this isn’t the original van ark, but he has been formed from the same brain. A man that chose eugenics as his core belief and did genocide, torture and murder about it. The potential for him to choose it again is always there and it makes me nervous to have him around, and leaving him at Red Scorpion Base also makes me nervous because even as an experiment, he’s dangerous. His regenerative abilities are dangerous in the wrong hands. Probably the panagea is one of the things that have been made thanks to it but you know how this kinda things goes: taking the thing and using it to make weapons and super soldiers and the like, as the Guillemete comments here:

“GUILLEMETTE FELIS: [...] Genetic material from Ernie was used to treat a life-threatening injury Henderson suffered some months ago. The results were… dramatic. Your quarry is no ordinary soldier. His endurance is enormous, but his personality, unstable. You will know what I refer to. I believe your own Sven “Psycho” Mountback was treated with a similar but less advanced treatment in Poland several years ago, leading to his current… psychological situation.” 

So not the current treatments are unstable, makes you think how can Bakari be so sure the panagea works at all. Also wtf are they doing in Poland.

5) “ERNEST VAN ARK: No no, nothing like that. I always wanted to visit England. I don’t suppose you met a politician named Sigrid? I’m told we were in love. It sounds terribly romantic.”

WHY WOULD THIS BE RELEVANT SDFSDFD Earnest says that Red Scorpion Base (or their top dog i guess) got a hold of the flesh and kickstarted the regeneration process (and i have some STUFF Ive been thinking about when it comes to that), so it sounds like he’s spent whatever concious life he’s had in Red Scorpion Base mostly under supervision, probably. Make sure the investment doesn’t run away. How do you feel about that Ernie. I feel like this guy is mostly “the research here is v important and complicated and i am part of it all so im not really going to think about the fact that i am a piece of property because why would I bother” I justc an’t believe we’re not going to see more of him you know? S2S can’t just present us with this guy and then be like “ok thats all you’re going to see of him ever”, wouldn’t make sense. Also what is this research? We just get that one sentence and i’m already like hmmmm that’s weird and suspicious”.

I imagine that once he became fully concious he must have had questions about himself but it doesn’t sound like he was given too many details. “A misshap with a rocket launcher” doesn’t really tell us whether he knows he was murdered or not, but “im told we were in love it sounds terribly romantic :)” we can tell he doesn’t know Sigrid’s dead and also that whoever told him that either didn’t know the details of their relationship, or did and just didn’t tell him because why would they tbh. SOunds like he was told somethign among the lines of "You were a v smart scientist who lived in the far-away land of the uk, working towards a big cure to save humanity (that's how you got your regeneration powers!) and you and the prime minister were in love :o) And then there was an accident/some terrible spies shot you with a rocket launcher "

Also SDFSDF bless Peter for being like “im gonna kill him” right away when we come across Ernie in the greenhouse like YES THATS WHAT I WAS SAYING!! Peter your brain is huge and so very wrinkly I knew you’d be with me on that one.

 I also understand Ernie calling for help, it’s the smart thing to do and i just Love the idea that from his point of view we’re obviously the bad guys. I mean he’s been told we’re spies, to hide away, and now we’re talking about killing him right in front of him sdfsdfs

I just want so badly to bully him. I want to be forced to take him with us and i want his presence to make everyone high strung and uncomfortable and terribly snipy and the whole time he has no idea why everyone hates his guts so badly. Does he even know that the zombie apocalypse was partly his fault? I bet not. I want to tell him we killed him and also his terrible fascist wife. I just think it’d be neat.

6. THEORIES

OKAY so like when i was making up theories about what could happen with Van Ark i remembered something about S7M25-26. Upon reading the transcripts i realized a couple things.

At the time, we had a wriggling hand we cut from a zombie that had bitten Peter and gotten his regeneration abilities. Veronica guided us to a water treatment plant where Sigrid kept a nanotech machine capable of nullifying Van Ark’s regeneration in case she needed to neutralize him at some point, so we set off there to see if it worked on the P-Hand and maybe even be able to use that technology to help Peter lose his so that he felt more like a person, less like a monster who can put everyone he loves i danger. Feelings that are still relevant seeing as we haven’t tried a treatment on him yet (most of the research was destroyed but i think Sage had some stuff too??, i need to check a bunch of stuff to know what happened with this whole thing exacly). And also Ernie, who is also a danger. It will be interesting to see what’s his opinion on his regeneration. 

In any case, when we get there we have a terrible misshap and the hand starts growing fast as hell instead of dying.

“ VERONICA MCSHELL: It appears Sigrid’s treatments stimulated growth.”  

Well. Isn¡t THAT interesting. Peviously I thought was that Van Ark's body in general might not have been extensiveley damaged, and that Sigrid had gotten it and worked to save his life. In Red Scorpion Base we are told that "A few scrapings from him ended up on the black market, a little pink and gray matter" so i thought that maybe he had been blown into pieces. But now i’m thinking that there is a couple possibilities. Veronica at some point says that sigrid threw failed experiments to an automated furnace. Makes you think.

Clones. Maybe there wasn’t enough of Van Ark’s original body to regenerate, so Sigrid started experimenting with unknown degrees of success and burnt off the failures in the furnace.

We don’t know how many failures there might have been or how many successes. I can’t imgine she’d make more that one if she succeded, but there’s no way to tell. It could be that she herself sold the kickstarted flesh to Red Scorpion Boss although I don’t really see Sigrid doing that with Van Ark though but then again, who knows lol. There’s also the possibility that someone else found the research/got a hold of the pieces of Van Ark she hadn’t used and has been selling them around, after all how did that flesh end up in the black market? It0s just flesh from a dead man, no reason for it to be there unless you know exacly what it is so whoever put it in the market knew exacly what they were selling. If there’s enough bits of van ark to go around, maybe that’s what’s going on in Poland? Who do i see taking bits of van ark, kickstarting their regeneration and selling either the flesh or even clones to the highest bidder? Could be anyone. Could be Valmont, seeing as he has plenty of contacts, could be someone new. I don’t think he’s the top dog at Red Skull base necessarily but i don’t discard it. Whoever it is they obviously recognize us and know what we’re all about and they know to be weary of us. Either our reputation in the uk has reached other countries or this is someone who has been to the uk/we’ve dealt with one-on-one.

Guess we’ll see what happens.