#oops getting emotional about fandom communities again

[blindmagdalena]

I'm sorry ahead of time because this gives off such a simpy parasocial vibe (bcs you're a tumblr celebrity in my eyes lol) but I'm very grateful for you and your blog! I've been on tumblr for like over a decade but I've never ever interacted with anyone in whatever fandom I've been in. I don't know what is it about your space here that possessed me to finally make a blog and share things and engage with others but I'm so grateful for it. You were such a lovely gateway into the fandom and your blog is just such a good vibe. Definitely inspired me to feel less cringe about posting stuff. I'm currently working my way through writing a mildly cringe Homelander voice kink fic that is inspired by some of the headcanons you've written in the past. I rarely feel inspired enough to write, let alone feel like sharing my work but for once I genuinely feel like the fandom is so nice and accepting that it's worth giving it a shot!! Anyway, don't mind me just felt like pouring my heart out lol. Thanks for being awesome and being part of the fandom!!

ah man, don't apologize at all! thank you so much! i can't tell you how happy i am that i could at all contribute to your decision to engage with the fandom and share your creativity. i've also been on and off tumblr for many years, and coming back to it i was pretty shocked by how much the culture had changed. no one should be afraid of sharing their fan work! that's what fandom is! fandom community is honestly more important to me than any of the actual material the fandom comes from lol

well i haven't read it yet but i'm over the moon excited about your voice kink fic!!! that happens to be one of my very favorite kinks, and if it's cringy then i'm most definitely the conductor of the cringetrain.

thank YOU for being part of the fandom! i can't wait to see what else you bring to it! 🖤🖤🖤

[nekrotiize]

It's a controversial take because everyone's stupid but I'm never going to stop calling fandom + shipping culture homophobic. Fandoms are consistently extremely homophobic, and shipping culture is consistently even more homophobic.

Yes, the way fandoms center men so religiously is obviously misogynistic. The only people who deny that are themselves misogynists. But the aggressive centering of men and the resultant fixation on male/male dynamics lends to this slimy coating of homophobia that nobody talks about. The misogyny is an issue, clearly. But gay men are, to most people in fandom, toys. We are sex objects to coo over. It's intensely voyeuristic. Every god damn interaction is scrutinized to hell and back, and the second a man shows any kind of emotional connection with another man, it gets pounced on, and he gets thrown into a mill that flattens him down to one of three deeply heterosexual yaoi tropes that are fandom's only way of processing the existence of gay men.

It doesn't even matter what that man is. A disconcerting amount of time, people will start fawning over the idea of literal rapists being gay with zero critical thought applied. As if gay men being painted as and assumed to be sexual predators isn't a method that's been historically used to literally legally murder us. (What the fuck do people think "Gay Panic" means, even?)

Gay men aren't given the ability to be human beings in fandom. We're not afforded nuance. We're accessories, we are constantly objectified, and no one ever takes the time to consider that we have cultures, and that we are real human beings. We keep getting shoved into the most heterosexual boxes physically possible for the easy digestibility of people who do not want to see us as human beings. Semes- sorry, I mean Tops are the taller, older, more masculine, capable men of the relationship. Ukes- oops, sorry again, I mean Bottoms are the smaller, younger, more feminine, and totally useless women of the relationship. It's painfully yaoi. Gay men in fandom are never given the opportunity to be regular men, because people are too busy turning everything into homophobic, misogynistic fetish porn of our existence to be normal for five seconds.

There's something comedic about how many people in fandom want to say they're progressive, accepting. Safe. How fandom is welcoming of everyone. Look, we've made all this representation! And every time, gay men are sex objects, the women are scapegoated to hell and back, the headcanoned trans men are always skinny white softboys not a single day over 21 maximum, lesbianism is maybe acknowledged 0.5% of the time and largely for brownie points, bisexuals are across the board made out to be overtly horny and often sexually aggressive, fans of color are harassed out of the community left and right, anyone on the aro/ace spectrums is called a freak and a killjoy for not participating in shipping, characters on the aro/ace spectrums are heavily included in shipping content with the excuse of "aros/aces can date/have sex like normal people, too!" with zero regard for what our love looks like, and there isn't a single accepted trans woman headcanon to be seen.

Fandoms are circuses full of dirty little liars with cotton stuffed in their ears and Shipping Culture is a disease.

And if you criticize either of them, the most annoying white liberals you've ever seen will start clutching their pearls because how dare you criticize something that's free?! Don't you know a lack of price point immediately negates any criticism?! Just laughable.

[charmac]

Today I spent about an hour around/with Rob and I'm gonna write about it.

He recognised me from last night, came up and talked to us where I really lost all ability to calm or filter myself (which was, admittedly, already very little). He told me he's been seeing a lot of my Tweets and I asked why he followed me. He said he thought I had "a lot of fun and interesting things to say." I did not expect that, literally at all, I was trying to see if he knew my handle, @/pqdres, was for San Diego's baseball team, so I derailed myself from that conversation a bit lol oops.

The night before this he signed my S10 DVD cover on the plastic protector I had, so he offered to sign it properly when he noticed I had it with me again tonight:

I know I just kind of bulldoze over his words, (He said “Thank you for all the Twitter love”) but it’s because I had a script in my head and.. I'm sure a lot of you guys get it, lol. He didn't seem bothered, which I really appreciate.

He took individual photos with everyone who wanted one (like half the people in the bar (which wasn't even that many) had no interest in him) and when we were taking mine he asked for someone to shine an overhead light so we could get a good picture together bc I offhandedly said I needed to turn off my front flash.

I met him again, a little later at another bar (like Charlie and Glenn in October, he just kinda was walking around and hitting up various bars Four Walls was advertising at) and I apologised for my constant presence around him. The reason I stuck around was because I had one last request for the night, something I very much owed to @macdennissurvivor. I told him Emma was the person who got me into the Sunny fandom, and I would appreciate if he could say hi to her on camera. I started recording and then he said 'Nope give me your phone' and then went on a walk and recorded a 20 second video for her on my phone. I think that moment was a fundamental tilt for me.

I know I criticize this man a bit, but god-fucking-damn-it if he isn't the creator of my favourite show in the whole world, one of my favourite characters of all time, half of my URL, the reason I am writing and creating as much as I currently do, the reason I have made actual, real, deep friendships in the past few years, and he took so much time and patience with me, he recorded a whole video for my friend because he does fucking care. He sees us, this part of the fandom, and he appreciates it: that we’re a community and truly connect through his show. Words really can't express my emotions. Thank you Rob, for this.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hey, i hope you’re ok. i’ve been watching this whole thing unfold from the sidelines since it first started, and it’s been wild because it’s been like watching what i went through when i first watched GO, from the outside. i’m so sorry we as a fandom introduced you to this godawful heartbreak, but also, if you’re anything like me, you wouldn’t want it any other way because it’s just. so perfect. good omens genuinely rewired my brain chemistry and is easily the best piece of media i have ever seen. even though it has destroyed me, i am so grateful i decided to watch it. i share all your feelings about crowley. i have So Many Feelings About Crowley. after s2 i reacted just as violently as you did lol. i will say, it does get easier with time. for the first two weeks i genuinely could not think about anything other than the Pain (lol), but now i’m fully functional again! i still think about Them every hour of every day, but now i think about other things in between too. so it gets better! commiserating with fellow Good Omens Brainrot sufferers helped make me feel a lot less alone, especially in the beginning. and now that it hurts less, i’ve actually found quite a comforting family of sorts in this fandom. make sure you make room for other things too though!!! take a few days just to be emotionally devastated, but after that try and go outside or spend some time with friends or family. eventually it will fade to a comfortable level of obsession and you’ll feel okay again. it’s a lot less scary now that we know season 3 is coming. and even though it hurts. there’s something sort of beautiful and exquisite about being moved this strongly by a piece of artwork, i think. sorry for this long ramble, i just wanted to express my support and let you know that you’re not alone i guess.

Hello anon maggot! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, please don't apologise, it's so touching to read. This fandom really is beautiful, isn't it, and it's so crazy to see how much art and creativity inspired it as well as was inspired by it. It's such a kind community and it's wild how strangers have bonded over Good Omens and become so tight-knit. And yes, Crowley. Just Crowley. I am in love with them. I'm glad you've also found a family in this batshit insane and loving fandom.

Yeah, I'm trying to remember to take a break *looks away guiltily* whenever I'm not on tumblr I just seem to pull a Crowley and sleep through the day. It's been such a rollercoaster of emotions.

Why did I say that. Everyday, it's a-getting closer, going faster than a rollercoa-

Oops.

[popstart]

hi can we get your heathney thoughts and hc </3 ur ppp fic was so good i read it all in one day i love the dynamic u gave them

talking about ppp in the past tense is kind of killing meee(i want to work on it again idk whats up i just have writers block infinity and health problems + phys disability flareups. blehhh) anyways once i get to it again is when its gonna get good. rn its just setup for setup BUT IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT SO FAR! yay ^_^! truthfully i see way too much wrong with it and want to fix a lot and thats part of why i havent touched it in like. um 7 months🤐. lemme retcon some things and fix the pacing and itll be GOOODDDD...

heathney is literally just whatever i feel like forcing onto them at the moment because when i was writing hcag and ppp there was like... 3 fics for them HELP😭 and i had a different idea in my head than the ones i half-read. i havent really touched ao3 in the same last 7 months so im not sure if its different now but bc it was bleak for a while i kinda just made stuff up and hoped it stuck with people (which apparently it did. im glad people like my work :3)

my thinking about them started when i was writing/drafting heartaches (im still writing for it too. auahghh🫠) it was all spawned by a random train of thought that i wish world tour was less focused on alejandro and more on the dynamic that could have formed around heather and courtney PURELY because of that 1 second scene where heather was comforting courtney. thats literally it that entire fic was spawned by two seconds and some anons egging me on bc it was an idea other people were interested in. I wanted to delve into the thought process of heather behind that. like how genuine was that scene to heather and how impactful was it to courtney. basically I just thought the idea of heather taking advantage of courtney when she was so volatile and emotionally clingy sounded evil and fun. i literally just didnt like that courtney got so into alejandro bc i hate that man so much so i swapped some things around and got hcag

sorry for being the ultimate tangent master im finally getting back to ppp heathney. anyways. Having been writing the sort of dynamic of heather and courtney being weird teammates that are only using eachother but also in it for their own emotional clingyness reminded me of my FAVORITE SHOW EEVRRR lps populaarr🙈🙈🙈🙈 and also aus of that show i love so i stole the concept. in my mind they became childhood besties for the resties until they got separated then hated eachother when they met up years later. With the way i was writing heather in hcag i was thinking soooo hard about how fucked up courtney couldve been if she had an influence like heather as a kid. this is also going back to my time in the amphibia fandom oops i hella stole everything for that fic and tweaked some things.

I dont think ppp is the heathney dynamic of all time because its literally shit i made up and stole and inserted into a really self indulgent fic, BUT it is a dynamic i love for them in the setting of the au its in. heather being so so so controlling to courtney as kids and courtney having no friends to base this behavior off of thinking its normal. aughh... they have opposite levels of social skills which makes their communication shit which entertains me. Heather knows what she wants from people and knows how to get it, and she doesnt notice (or care) how harmful she can be. Courtney doesnt know how to talk to people very well and has a very twisted grasp of what people think about her, in her eyes being the most well liked person on the planet and throwing a tissy fit every time thats challenged. im gonna say it 20 times but it just grasps me way too hard and it gets my brain thinking forever and ever about them. courtney as is very much a "i want what i want and ill get it" kind of person but in ppp heather is so good at manipulating her that the kinds of personality traits she shows in canon are very much suppressed (whether that was on accident or on purpose from heather is technically spoilers? for ppp i guess). theyre still there but hidden from years of being friends with heather as a child. LOL BASICALLY. i hope its obvious but despite their deep friendship as a child and how much love (and rose tinted glasses) they had for eachother and the past, that shit was NOT HEALTHY!!!! AT ALL!

so heather is really good at manipulating and courtney was the one that ended up on the brunt of it all. not surprising, we all know what heather is like, but COURTNEY.. ohh im so sorry about what i do to her im constantly fucking her up because i just love to see how she reacts to it. she is so reactive and emotional and i love it. i love seeing such an intelligent and confident woman be so weak to her own damn self UGH it kills me inside but i cant look away i need to mess her up constantly. Courtney in ppp has such an interesting perspective to write because i can insert some random ass idea into her head and play it off because she is emotionally STUPID! you can truly make her think anything thats at an extremely juvenile level of emotional awareness/understanding and you'll be able to play it off because she has way too much confidence in herself while knowing very little outside of academics and very clear-cut rule oriented things. the way it plays into her thoughts about heather too.. oohhhh. evil evil stuff.. she knows heather is considered a bad person and she also sees herself as being better than everyone in every way so she cant mentally stoop down to heathers level of brutality, meanwhile because of the way she sees herself shes constantly thinking bad of others and people see them very similarly. Courtney doesnt realize it but she is on a veryy similar playing field to heather in terms of how people see them. it would be gutting if she ever realized but her brain does Not let her see it that way. i just love courtney corruption arc ok orz. i need heather to play into it so damn bad. it grabs me so hard.

anyways this is quite messy and very spur of the moment but these are basically my thoughts on them. i want them to make eachother worse but in the most fucked up way imaginable. i want them to have the most deep and complicated history ever

[incandescentflower]

Emoji fic writer ask time! 🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

⛔Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

👀Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

✅What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

🎢Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

thanks lauren! this one is so fun!

🛒If it's a one shot, I am most often writing smut (haha) that is a character study. Intimacy can be shown in a lot of ways, but any kind of sex (and I mean any kind of physical touching) requires a vulnerability for most people if it involves intense feelings (which it always does in my fic) and I like to explore how that impacts what we already know are the character's struggles/fears/characteristics. What does vulnerability look like for them? how do they ask for what they they need and how they show what they want from their partner (communication is always a major part, but not always verbal).

Longer fics just usually play out these conflicts and challenges in a larger story that is a variation on theme.

I love nature imagery. I love seasons, weather, sun rises, sun sets, those tactile experiences we all have of the world around us.

⛔I definitely do have at least one. Most others I plan to go back to at some point, but I started a DanYok Not Me fic where Dan has amnesia that seemed like it would be fun, but then at the time, I wasn't really thrilled how they played out Dan at the end of that story so I lost the motivation. I do sometimes think I am now far enough away from my immediate emotions about that story to write something that makes more sense to me, but *waves hands* look at all these other ideas in front of me haha

👀oh jeez, I think besides finishing my current half-posted bbs wip, I am going to start working on a Cherry Magic thailand fic. A few of us have had some fun talking about how the manga exists in the CMTh universe and that it could be fun to mess with that a bit.

✅I've been told I write comfort smut so maybe that's it? 😂 See above first answer haha. I do like the friends with benefits tropes and the self delusion people can do to get to be close to the person they desire. It might be a different trope I'm working on and then somehow oops, that's kind of friends with benefits. sorry/not sorry

🎢I'm not exactly sure what this means, but for me I guess I would just assume it was a fic that kinda went unexpected places? I would say it's Boldly Going Where Adachi Has Never Gone Before Eventually, because it's a fic that came out of a cherry magic prompt challenge I helped run and it was just written on fandom crack.

from the fanfic writer emoji ask game!

[moonchild-in-blue]

Hey its anon again. Thank you for the reply. I was angry and rambly, but i had just woken up and almost immediately saw takes that pissed me off so i went off lol. Its just very frustrating seeing people act so awful towards others for interpreting up to interpretation art differently. While discourse over whether or not the music is romantic/sexy is not the only discourse about how to interpret sleep token, it really seems to be what has the most vitriol aimed towards people over. As someone who does very much embrace the romantic/sexy elements of sleep token, it makes me feel very unwelcome in the fandom because im supposedly in many peoples eyes just a stupid horny fangirl who is not a real fan or is a terrible person or whatnot. I can acknowledge these elements and appreciate them on just a surface level in a given moment, while also diving deep into metaphors and double meanings or whatnot in other moments. One day ill be like "oh this song gives me unholy thoughts", another day ill deepdive into the tragic meanings, rinse and repeat. Thats the fun of sleep token in my eyes, its many things all at once and can give you so many totally different emotions depending on what angle in certain lighting you look at it in in a given moment. Hell, i find the idea that the romantic/sexy meanings are only surface level to be false, ive changed my perspective on some songs to see them as hornier than i realized once other people pointed it out so no i do not think sexual interpretations dumb the music down and i think it makes the music so much richer in meaning. (I also honestly dont hate the "baby making metal" thing, hell even one of their stage crew called sleep token "sexy metal", its such a nonissue to me that i dont get why people get so angry over it) I wish we could just stop with the "dont romanticize/sexualize sleep token!!" stuff, and just embrace mature nuanced discussion where we embrace the variety of experiences we have with the music. (And even in cases where people say a song like atlantic is sexy, like, okay, weird take but you do you as long as youre not being shitty to other fans or vessel) I also honestly dont think its wrong to speculate on vessels life. I do it a lot, i want to know what this music means to him since its obviously so personal to him and i admire the vulnerability in his lyrics and stage presence. I do think the whole thing fans do where theyre like "this music is definitely about this thing that im assuming happened irl so im gonna be shitty to people for disagreeing on my interpretation because i totally know without proof vessel would be offended" is shitty, but thats because its infantilizing to assume a grown man needs to be protected from people enjoying the romantic/sexy stuff he puts into his art and because its just otherwise shitty to treat people like shit over assumptions. But yeah, theres lots of nuance in sleep token. Its a really bizarre art project with the anonymity and little communication with fans, and it leads to lots of disagreements among fans for how to approach it. Im not perfect either, i can be a bitch too lol, but we can seriously do better as a fandom to handle the nuance (again, im not immune to being shitty! Im only human and all! But i still do get very upset with the fandom a lot because of my Hot Takes on various things). Thank you for your time, and again thank you to everyone who call people out on being assholes over different interpretations (this got rambly again but idk how to trim it down oops)

I'm not gonna comment further on this, cus honestly there's no point to drag this on and I'm tired, so! You do you anon, yay for music etc etc 👍

[elkkiel]

You are welcome for the discussion <3 im just always glad to see st fans who are mature about sexual topics, and sometimes ill see stuff that makes me feel unwelcome as someone who reallyyy loves the sex appeal in the band/their music and it being a big factor of my appreciation of them. Im not actually offended at all by the term baby making metal and i get surprised by the vitriol people have towards the term. Art can be sexual but also be meaningful in manyyy different ways, i can appreciate the many layers of the music and ves's emotional vulberability in his art while also not acting like hes an infant who accidentally put sensuality in his music yknow (emphasis on SOME of the music, no im not saying atlantic or blood sport is sexy because just no)? I just feel like with how much personal attachment people have to the band (because yeah the music is SAD and ves has obviously been through awful things so i get being protective or being legit triggered by peoples hornier interpretations) things can get out of hand quickly in spaces ive observed in the fandom. Though perhaps ive just observed particularly bad places in the fandom in all fairness, im pretty new here and all having been listening to them for 2-3 months now. Tumblr doesnt seem too bad but ive seen stuff on twit that really angered me with the insults being thrown around and stuff that honestly seems infantilizing to ves (no, dont sexually harass him. Ive seen vids where people screamed "daddy" at him and.. ew. But like, i doubt hes offended by people having hornier interpretations on various songs as long as you dont get downright absurd and weird about whatever hes been through irl). Im rambling but i have Many Thoughts, genuinely didnt mean to have a long discussion but oops it happened. Thank you for discussing with me, kissing you on the mouth too (if youre cool with it of course lol)

If we're all in horny jail, Vess is the warden lol. Like he's the king of sexy fanservice and we're all just here soaking it in (darling? I think we've saturated 😳). To clarify my earlier answer, I loooooove me the sex appeal side of the music. It's just not why I'm a fan, if that makes sense. I'd be no more or less into them if Vess was fully clothed and decided to wear underwear for once (but I'm definitely not complaining about his current... attire loooool. don't search anything related to II on my blog it's embarrassing and I would be a total hypocrite to say that all sexualization is wrong.) It's totally normal to associate the music with sexuality considering, ya know, like a good chunk of his discography is sensual in some way. Bro literally wrote a song about vore as a romantic metaphor. If anything, it's a little unusual to insist that the music isn't sexual.

I'm not annoyed by any of the thirsting on a general level, just when that's people's only takeaway from the music (again, I would be incredibly hypocritical to take a hard oppositional stance lmao). But, that's also my personal opinion and not an objective judgement. I can't expect everyone that heard the summoning on tiktok to deep dive into the lore and discography, so baby making metal is just the only impression some people have lol. And that is okay no matter how I personally feel about it.

It's one thing to be a little miffed about booktok claiming Vess as their sex icon (referring to the reasons in the last ask), it's another thing to get huffy on his behalf about things that YOU'RE uncomfortable with. It's something that twitter fandoms overall seem to really struggle with. They're adults; if they were uncomfortable with contextually-appropriate thirsting, they can assert that boundary themselves. Again, I was in the dream smp fandom on twitter since 2020—the aggression with enforcing boundaries on the person they're a fan of is super unnecessary and, if anything, totally disrespectful as well.

In my experience, the Tumblr community tends to be a little older on average, so the discussion here is generally more mature and level-headed. Obviously you'll get a few dickheads in the bunch, but everyone here is pretty chill even if they disagree. The ability to articulate your thoughts in long-form text posts makes for a more rational medium for discussion imo. Honestly, twitter is a bit of a waste of time if you're looking for a positive, proper fandom experience. It's a platform optimized for rage engagement and echo chamber discussion, neither of which make for positive community building.

I'm starting to ramble and lose the plot a bit too lol. Also I am down to make out anytime anywhere. I'll bring the water bottles if you bring the toothpaste (nothing more intimate than scrub-a-dub-dubbing the chompers pre-smooch sesh 😘🩷)

[whumptober]

Whumptober 2020 - Updated

Welcome to Whumptober 2020! We’re doing things a little differently this year so please make sure to read the Event Info carefully. We are also excited to announce the addition of an AO3 Collection, which can be found here.

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

No 2. IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY  "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped

No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

No 6. PLEASE.... "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, please"

No 7. I'VE GOT YOU Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker

No 8. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation

No 9. FOR THE GREATER GOOD "Take Me Instead" | "Run!” | Ritual Sacrifice

No 10. THEY LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN THEY BLEED Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood

No 11. PSYCH 101 Defiance | Struggling | Crying

No 12. I THINK I'VE BROKEN SOMETHING Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask

No 14. IS SOMETHING BURNING? Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire

No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

No 17. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

No 19. BROKEN HEARTS Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval

No 21. I DON'T FEEL SO WELL Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

No 22. DO THESE TACOS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU? Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal

No 23. WHAT’S A WHUMPEE GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation

No 24. YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

No 26. IF YOU THOUGHT THE HEAD TRAUMA WAS BAD... Migraine | Concussion | Blindness

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD? Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage

No 28. SUCH WOW. MANY NORMAL. VERY OOPS. Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged

No 29. I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest

No 30. NOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

No 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead

Alternate Prompt List

Alt 1. Punctured

Alt 2. Falling

Alt 3. Comfort

Alt 4. Stitches

Alt 5. Stoic Whumpees

Alt 6. Altered States

Alt 7. Found Family

Alt 8. Adverse Reactions

Alt 9. Memory Loss

Alt 10. Nightmares

Alt 11. Presumed Dead

Alt. 12. Water

Alt. 13 Accidents

Alt. 14 Shot

Alt. 15 Carry/Support

Event Info

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 Official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don't have to include the exact wording into your work). Additionally, there are 3 prompts for each theme.  These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, and photo/video/audio edits. Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2020 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruised, #stabbed,  …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself, because tumblr sucks)

#nsfw, #nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober2020​ blog. They must be tagged in the order above.

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month.

Questions not addressed below can be directed to this blog as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gif set or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe :)

Q. Do I have to do all 31 Days? Can I post early/late?

Participate as much or little as you like, and post whenever! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.11, #psych101). Combining prompts into one piece of work is okay, and posting late is as well so as long as it’s in October.

Q. What if I don’t understand a theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help clarify. That said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation :)

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely! That’s like shooting two whumpees with one bullet :)

Q. Can I upload/repost my whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. The archive can be accessed here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle :)

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If it just conveniently checks the boxes, then please don’t. You can, however, add new chapters answering one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, whoever you like.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes,  but it only counts once

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day's prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

Yes, but please do not use a specific prompt twice. We have also created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from [here].

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s.?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.  

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you :)

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine.  The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst focus ok?

Of course!

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What's whump?

See this post

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn't whumpy at all, does that count?

No, sorry, but keep in mind that whump [see definition] is something very nuanced and different for everyone and emotional whump/angst is just as much part of it, as is physical whump and torture. So before you dismiss your idea, think about this.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we posted the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time”.

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. emeto tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.  

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the whumptober2020 tag

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, just be sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies of whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, tags are your best friend.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

[9w1ft]

There ARE pressing issues. Indeed. And in June, you could very well support them while supporting Pride. Like. Retweeting something about them. Like. Posting a message about how we acknowledge that Pride is intersectional and that queer lives matter and racial minority lives matter and gender equality matters etc. Acknowledging the anniversary of the petition and how far it went and thanking everyone that signed. Hell, liking à freaking tweet.

There are many ways to continue to support one or many causes and look *legit* rather than just being One Time Loud during promo season. I /believe/ she's an ally (duh, I'm here) but it also looks kinda cringe if she's only ostensibly an ally when she has something to sell.

i am once again going to refer to be there in five because i think she articulated it well in… i think it’s episode 141 (edit: ep 241 🙈 oops! it’s about 40 mins in, if you want a listen), at one point she said (i’m paraphrasing) that the past few years (ie since covid) have been a big period of growth for a lot of people in regards to social issues. even for people that have always been advocates and activists, it has been a period of time that has magnified and underscored many key problems with our society. it would be one thing for taylor to remain consistently quiet (as many respected celebrities do) on all fronts, however her general quietness (not silence but noticeable quietness) is coming on the tail end of Miss Americana, a documentary who’s key message as taken away by her fans was that taylor was ready to start speaking out on social issues. so there is a dissonance between miss americana taylor and the taylor we have seen (or not really seen) since. and i think a lot of fans, especially through the k*mye thing, really went to bat for taylor when the general public decided taylor was a “bad” person. a lot of people really cut their teeth in maintaining and amplifying that taylor is in fact a “good” person who does “good” things. for these fans, Miss Americana surely felt like a redemption, and acknowledgement and conclusion to an arc that was so formative in their lives. in a way, Lover era was further proof of concept. she began advocating for the queer community, posting more vocally about things, supporting and interacting wider net of fans, etc… but that seemingly all went away the moment her masters were taken.

then the pandemic hits and soon we have people marching for Black lives, and taylor is uber quiet. to the point where she leaves tumblr in perpetuity —a move i worry she will never address— and at one point hands her instagram account over for like a day to an activist but by and large she is gone.

and we can see in folklore a portrait of a taylor that is unbelievably sad. there is a lot of emotion in that album directed at (who i believe are) the people who fucked with her music. there’s epiphany in the mix as well. but she remains super quiet overall. she did the “we will vote you out in november” tweet, and we get the pride post last year and things like “happy pride to you too” but in general the times where she has appeared have been to defend issues related to herself. there’s that business of the bad joke in the netflix show (“happy international womens day i guess 💔”), the tweet in response to the gorillaz guy, etc.

and i think the one thing that has kept a lot of fans afloat or at somewhat of a balance is the idea that she’s been focused on her re-records. now that the momentum for that has been lost, i think it’s left a lot of fans restless

this is by no means an exhaustive recounting of all the related events but i’m assuming we all know the beats so to circle back to the top, bethereinfive said in so many words that long story short, a lot of fans are anxious that they have grown during the pandemic in ways that their idol has not. i would add that i think the parasocial relationship we as a greater fandom have with taylor will lend people to see her as an extension of their own morality. and thus, seeing taylor not do something that you would or associate with people you wouldn’t, etc, feels as if you had lost control of your own body where you thought you previously had it.

now, personally, i still firmly believe that Miss Americana was originally intended to be her coming out documentary. this is just my feeling and i don’t have a well structured argument either than perhaps that we know rep tour chicago was filmed, so there is footage of taylor saying her pride speech that apparently got left on the cutting room floor. and the fact that Lover era was, in general, Gay As Hell.

so while i believe there is a separate discussion to be had about what taylor’s empirical quietness on many social issues means to us as fans, i think at the start that, for a lot of her fans, there has been a grand miscommunication stemming from Miss Americana having been (imo) morphed into a documentary about “finding your voice” or becoming an activist, where maybe that was never taylor’s intention in the first place. to put it another way, she may have unintentionally overpromised on a version of herself that she was not planning to commit to at this time.

once again, a separate conversation can be had about if we like the state of affairs, or if it’s “good” or “bad” to just come out without also defending marginalized communities, but i do think it can be said that the documentary contributed to peoples frustrations.

i think as gaylors, and particularly if you are magically still a kaylor, we are more able to see a greater variety of stressors in taylor’s life that may have been leading to her being checked out at the moment. i have so much empathy for her for so many reasons, she is in a truly singularly complex position and i truly believe if i was in her shoes i would understand it, and i’ve been doing my best to take opportunities when i get perplexed as opportunities to improve my own actions.. ie, focus my energy on what i can control and not what (who) i can’t

but anon, as you said, it’s pretty simple to do a little bit more than what she’s doing now. so in the absence of evidence to the contrary… yeah. 🙈

[lavenderbexlatte]

plz type out the hot take essay. we love critical thinking within fandoms.

alright so. chan's personas.

i feel like he's already had a few.

2017, so predebut and over the survival show, it was the Monster Rookie. jyp's veteran trainee, hip hop prodigy, stone-cold leader who was ~sometimes~ silly but who mostly was a badass who singlehandedly put together skz and led them to debut.

yeah, no. the show wasn't a survival show, not really. they eliminated people, sure, but i would bet top fucking dollar that jype always intended to debut the group as is.

and chan didn't form the group. jype did. that's a blatant story told to make the group seem more...underdog-ish? idk. regardless. that's not how that works.

2018 was Teen Chan. bear with me on the name.

he was a rookie idol, but he was trying everything. he was on ASC for a while. he tried MCing, he tried fitting the goofy and sporty role on the team for a while. he dropped the hip-hop persona. he turned away from rap toward vocals. he was funnier, looser, more physical comedy, more awkwardness.

2019 was the birth of Emotional Support Kpop Boy Chan, which ran through 2020, also.

as he developed his chan's room method over 2019, he fell more into the responsible, socially-aware, image-conscious role. he focused a lot on his output toward fans. he started to cultivate an open, honest, and communicative style of being.

but is that real? or is it another persona?

not that he's fake, but that...it's what he thinks he should be. 

i think that he probably tries really hard to be exactly what he needs to be. and we do get glimpses of the real guy, bc of course we do. he’s not lying or deceiving us. he’s just creating a boundary of his own. he wants to be a positive force, so he ONLY shows the good on chanbang. that kind of thing. 

now, why would he make the OTHER personas??

2017 Monster Rookie Chan, i think, is the result of 7 years of training and a deep, deep inferiority complex. based on when he was recruited, his age, and who he trained with, chan should have been in got7. he should have. why would they pass him over? 

easy. he wasn’t good enough yet. some people are born to be stars (bts jungkook. jackson wang. nct/wayv ten) and i firmly believe that’s not chan. chan WORKED to get where he is. he WORKED to become an all-rounder. at got7′s debut, he wasn’t READY. and i think that he was determined to make it stick this time. hence. a strong and fearless persona. 

2018 Teen Chan was him overcompensating. he had been a badass for a long, long time at that point. his whole image was Leader. strong, bossy, parental. he wanted to get goofy. he didn’t have many solo stans before this era. seriously. 

2019-2020 ESKB Chan was him softening again. he realized that the goofy role better fits the younger members, especially once chan became both the leader and the oldest. there was no one left to baby HIM, or be an equal. so he stepped fully into being the one who takes care of EVERYTHING. the band. the company. us. not himself tho oop-

and that brings us to 2021. 

the new era. and his new persona. Sexy Chan.  

body chains. multiple songs about sex. always being naked. the wolfgang stage. why does he keep wearing collars he knows i love writing him a collar but this is REAL LIFE-

yeah. fuck that 🤣🤣

[dancer-me]

Fic Writer Questions

@hopeintheashes tagged me (that was pleasantly surprising, so YAY) as well as anyone who wants to play (so if you want do - just do it!!!) 1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have nine!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

106,461! I broke 100,000 on AO3 and didn't notice =O

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

For posted fanfiction, I have written for 5 fandoms at this point. Naruto (this was my early days, around 2007 to 2015, with pretty huge gaps inbetwen), Merlin (oops), High Seas (just the one small fic because Netflix had me angsting hard enough to break my hiatus), and of course 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Express to Nowhere (911 / 911 Lone Star) 2. Giving up Ground (911 / 911 Lone Star) 3. Quarter Life Crisis (911) 4. Pull me Under (911) 5. Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You (911)

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hesitate to say this about a WIP but I'm pretty sure it's going to be Giving up Ground when it's done. Not that it's going to have a sad ending, but that it's part of a continuous series and I already have the next part planned out and partially started (titled "Overdrawn" for anyone interested) so it will leave things feeling hopeful but open-ended, which can be construed as angsty. But really, all my other stories, while they have angst for the most part, have happy endings because I'm a sucker for it. Chaotic Energy is slow burning itself to the happiest of endings.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmm... I think it's Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You! This story was just such a fun blast of drama, hijinks, and hilarity, with our two leads getting their love story at the end of it all :) All my completed works have very happy endings, but this one resonates because there really wasn't any angst at all in the whole thing. Just good fun!

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

The only cross-over I have ever written or been compelled to write in my life has been with 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, and that's my Chaotic Energy series. I don't know if it's "crazy", though it's turning out to be crazy long, since my original plan for it was 5 separate one-shots and Captain, that ship has long since sailed. We're deep at sea now, SOS. I love what it's become, though, and I hope everyone who reads it is enjoying the journey :)

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Weeeeeeeeell. Here's the thing. I wrote m/f smut back in the day, on ff.net and carried my one shots over to AO3 when I made the move. I'm talking way back in the day - those two "E" stories are dated 2015 but I actually originally posted them in 2011 - TEN years ago!! I haven't written smut since (I'm not counting TK and Carlos getting frisky in chapter 2 of Giving up Ground). It's not that I wouldn't, but that I haven't been inspired and with time somehow I have also become ragingly self-conscious over whether I could still do a good job. My smut has always been emotion based though, as I've never been able to truly go PWP. That said, I'm actively open to and considering some m/m smut for my current fandom. Fingers crossed I don't embarrass myself.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do on all my recent work on AO3 (basically my 9-1-1 and lone star fics that I've written since coming out of hiatus).

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on any of my AO3 work, though I have received hate on my much older work on ff.net to varying degrees of reasonability. So far the AO3 community has been very kind to me! I’ll get some comments where I think readers had hoped I’d go in a different direction, but nothing has ever been too much.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery but also no, stop, don’t do that.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, actually! I wrote my first ever published fic for Naruto called “Stand Alone” back between 2007 and 2011 (took a couple years off in the middle there to, you know, finish high school…) that someone asked me if they could translate into Russian. At the time I thought that was super cool, and it still is, but now I look back at that story and I think oof, now we can cringe at it in multiple languages. (more on that later)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I’m not opposed to it! I’ve seen some excellent fic partnerships and it’s so great seeing writers leverage the creativity and talents of their friends and peers.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Y’know, before 9-1-1, it was Merlin x Arthur, but Buck x Eddie have 110% of my heart and attention now.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

On the topic of Merlin… I started writing “The Quest for the Knife” back in 2015 at the peak of my Merlin fixation after painstakingly planning it out. I have pages upon pages of outlines and notes for a 14 chapter adventure… somewhere. I found a piece of it like an archeological dig when I was moving this pandemic season, but the rest seems lost to time. I’m sad because I had gotten so excited about it and loved my first two chapters, but I don’t think I’ll ever finish it. I might take it down so I can stop wallowing in guilt.

16) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I write good action / adventure scenes and plot lines, because I love painting vivid pictures of what I see playing out in my head whenever I think through my stories. I like to incorporate subtle (and not so subtle) humour as well in my work, which is born from my very active internal narrator voice as I go through my day-to-day and try to find the humour in everything. I also like to make outlines before all my bigger stories too, which ‘usually’ means I avoid cringey plot holes and can make some fun connections.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

*looks at the camera very seriously* writing convincing smut. Well, that, and the kind of emotional, flirty love and fluff that I love devouring in fics. I don’t think I do nearly as good a job there. Get in a character’s head and angst them up? Sure. Wax poetic in a convincing and not jarring way about how much Character A is in love with Character B without making it seem like it was a bit too much of a leap? Debatable.

Also… I tend to require my readers to suspend a lot of disbelief to enjoy my fics with elements of adventure, because I tend to do exactly 5 minutes of Google research for something before I decide I’ve had enough and go ahead.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Here we revisit the cringe of “Stand Alone,” where I tried in the first half (the 2007 portion) to incorporate Japanese since I watched the anime in Japanese and felt this was the best way to try and have the character’s voices come off the page. It… is really just a big ol’ cringe, because I didn’t know the language, and I definitely didn’t use suffixes right at ALL. So… I tend to avoid it personally because I don’t want to cringe at how wrong my use of other languages is.

But if it fits you, your story, fits your character, and you know the language confidently enough to not embarrass yourself? You do you *carefully side steps around discourse and leaves the room*

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto!

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I think it has to be “Express to Nowhere” these days. It was wanting to write that fic that pulled me out of hiatus and helped me find joy in writing and sharing my work again, and I have nothing but love for it and how it turned out.

Holy Cow I was warned that this level of introspection was going to take a minute but whew this was a good chunk of time. Fun to do and think about though!

Tagging: @221bsunsettowers, @onelonelytortillachip, @blueeyedbuckley and anyone who sees this and thinks, "hey, I have an answer for these questions." Because I am madly curious and would love to see your take!

[the-starryknight]

Top 5 of 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by the utterly brilliant @tackytigerfic who is a gift to this fandom <3

I’d like to tag @sitp-recs (what lists or serieses are you most proud of? :) and @onbeinganangel @thesleepiesthufflepuff @teacup-tai @julcheninred @glittering-git @fantalf @peachpety @veelawings @ladderofyears @lastontheboat @mxmaneater @erlasart @erebeus-roxy @unicorn-in-the-library @zigster-ao3 @pineau-noir @queercore-curriculum @primavera-cerezos @gallifrey1sburning -- please don’t feel pressure to do this if you’re not up for it! and however many things you’d like to share (5 or more or less) is welcome, 2020 has been a hell of a year for creators <3

Like everyone else in the world, this year has been so challenging in so many ways.  And the past months have been incredibly lonely for a great many reasons -- moving, leaving a job I’ve loved, ending a relationship to name a few.  It’s been a bit of a lonely last few months, and I feel so lucky to have had fandom to turn to -- beautiful fics to read, brilliant people to meet, and my own, newly renewed creative energies to rediscover.

It’s been a pleasure to get to create beautiful things with you all, and to indulge in all your beautiful bits of creativity, and to be part of this lovely community of people.  And that I think making this blog -- choosing to reach out and be vocal in this wonderful community, that’s probably my #1 of 2020.  

As for the fics, well, I’ve only been at it since September, so bear with me!

A Room Up There (And You In It) (59k, T) - Everything in this dear fic came from all the emotions I’ve motioned above - being lonely in a great beautiful house, seeking connection among old things, the quietness of connecting with people you can’t see... I haven’t written something this long since I was in high school, and I’m so proud of myself for finishing it, even during such a crazy time of my life.  It’s been so gratifying to get to share it with you all.

Matching Pair (4k, T) - This fic taught me that I could write creatively again, and how cool is that?  I’ve mainly written plays in the recent years, so it was exciting to write something prose again.  Though I think I can write a bit better than that (and certainly edit better than I did this fic :’) it was wonderful to get to stretch my typing fingers again).  And I got such an incredible response! I felt so loved and welcomed into the fandom.  

Lie Awake (5k, T) - It was while I was editing this piece that I really thought about my role as a ‘being a fic writer.’  Matching Pair was meant to be a one-off.  Practice writing to see if I could still do it, publish it, and move on.  Except then I participated in the lovely Drarry Discord Drabble Challenge for October, and wrote a little drabble I adored featuring a trope I love (Master of Death!Harry).  I wrote this fic, and my dear friend gryffindorhearts completely tore it apart in her beta of it (in the best of ways).  See, I’m a playwright by training and as such, I pay very little attention to the way things flow in space--the way people interact with objects and rooms and the like. Not my fault, that’s the director’s job! Except in prose... I’m also the director... Anyway, it was editing Lie Awake that made me realize that I could (and wanted to) spend the time crafting my stories, to work at the things I struggle with and improve them, for no other reason than that I can improve.  And I think that’s pretty cool, so here I am writing an entire advent fic about spaces.  Oops?

halcyon days (1.3k, T) - Gosh.  When I wrote a great deal in high school (and desperately planned to be a published author before I finished college), I could sit at my keyboard and it felt like my own consciousness had been bypassed. The words would just flow without my needing to guide them much at all, it was so intuitive.  And then I got very, very depressed.  And I lost that ease of writing.  And I thought that was the end of my being a ~creative~ as a career and as a passion.  Since then I’ve learned how to write without that spark or to create at least something even when my mind isn’t working like I’d like it to do.  But this? This fic came to me like it used to do -- I wrote it in about 45 minutes (approximately 2 sprints on the Drarry Discord).  Though I don’t think much of my writing will flow so easily in the future, it was a needed reminder that I still have that kind of spark in me. 

Thanks for reading along <3  Thank you all for creating such beautiful stuff to get us all through this awful, awful year.  Cheers to a brighter 2021. 

[moonlight-breeze-44]

Hey Em! I've gone through most of your Malec fics and I really love them! (especially the autistic!Alec one but also all those dealing with Alec's mental health issues) I was wondering if you have other recs for me of fics you love, since I'm really new in the fandom and there's so much out there?

Hi there! I’m so glad you’ve been reading and enjoying my fics! That means so much to me :) You’re so sweet! <3

I always have fic recs, so I am more than happy to give you some anytime you want. Here’s a list of a few (or a LOT because I got carried away, oops) that I love with my whole heart. I’m not sure what kinds of fics you like, so I rec’d some of my faves and ones that are specifically about autistic!Alec or Alec & mental health issues.

~ ~ ~

- Walking With Death by Aria_Lerendeair. This is a fic about Malec becoming immortal husbands, and it’s angsty but so, so, so good. Death is a character and Alec buys him coffee.

- Stone Can Be Broken by lawsofchaos and the wonderful sequel Hearts Can Be Remade by Aria_Lerendeair. Both are very angsty, but Laws’ has a hopeful ending and Aria’s has a happy ending. Be sure to read the tags on Aria’s! <3

- Five Times Alec Hides His Tears And One Time He Doesn’t by notcrypticbutcoy. This fic is about Alec’s struggles with anxiety and it is such a heartwrenching read for me. 100/10 recommend. 

- Violet by cuubism. This one deals with some pretty serious suicidal thoughts, so be cautious! <3 Magnus and Alec meet each other on a bridge. Or, the one where helping someone else is sometimes easier than helping yourself. Written by cuubism of the Malec Discord server we’re a part of!

- Wish Upon A Shooting Star by Aria_Lerendeair. Another immortal husbands fic, and it is so, so sweet and has a whimsical, optimistic energy that will surely make you smile. (Bonus points: written by our very own sassy moderator of the Malec Discord server.)

- “You are hurt” by sugarandspace. I’m not sure how much you like parabatai feels, but if you do, this is THE FIC for you. Jenna, who is a member of our lovely Malec server as well, does it wonderfully. It’s set post-3x18 Malec breakup and it has Alec self-harming and lots of feels with him & Jace.

- A Different Time by TK_Extraordinaire. This fic is basically a character study of Alec, a look at how he evolved over the years told from the POV of others.

- Tell me I’m perfect (but tell me the truth) by SquaresAreNotCircles. This fic is one of my favourite fluffy ones and it’s basically 7.5k of Alec talking about how much he loves his boyfriend to everyone who’s not him and then one time Magnus finds out about these secret compliment-fests.

- Brother Let Me Be Your Shelter by alistoney. This fic deals with Alec’s self-harm and it is an add-on to that scene in season 1 when Alec storms away after Jace & Clary kiss. Lots of Izzy and Alec feels, provided graciously by the amazing Zia of our Malec server.

- I will catch you when you fall by sugarandspace. Another fic where Alec self-harms, but this time it’s Magnus helping him out.

- Quiet now, you’re gonna wake the beast by EternallySilverMagnusAndAlec. This is a wonderful autistic!Alec fic that also goes into the emotional trauma that Alec has to deal with from Maryse. Written by EternallySilver of the Malec Discord server!

- Not So Unrequited by Aria_Lerendeair. A best friends to lovers AU that goes through their journey together as friends (including lots of delicious angst) and eventually leads to the confessing of feelings.

- The Lonely Hearts Hotline by Fatale (femme). I prefer oneshots to long fics, so this is one of the only fanfics I’ve read that surpasses 20k. This is the story of CEO Magnus and phone sex operator Alec and yes, it is absolutely as good as it sounds. 100/10 must read.

- Subjective by Accal1a. This fic was actually just posted tonight in the Malec Discord server, but I wanted to link it in case you didn’t see. Hannah has an amazing way with words. This is a 5+1 about Alec & dealing with homophobia. It isn’t all posted yet, but it will be soon, and the first chapter is SO GOOD.

- Autistic Alec AU by AceOnIce. This is a series of fics where Alec is a mundane and autistic, and it shows the journey of his relationship with Magnus. It’s amazing and also written by one of our Discord server members, Amelia.

- shed my skin, my scars by ByTheAngell. This fic is another fic about Alec & self-harm, written by the wonderful Elle of the Malec Discord server, with a few mentions of other ways of not taking care of himself, too. It’s set post-canon and portrays the way that people can fall back into bad habits quickly and easily very well.

- On Thunderstorms and Scared Shadowhunters by alxdrlightwood. The fic in which Alec slowly begins to accept that it’s okay to have a phobia, and Magnus is there to provide cuddles.

- And They Were Roommates by CoolStoryMatt. A roommates college AU where Malec are oblivious idiots that really need to learn to communicate better. Another of the rare above 20k faves of mine. Absolutely hilarious, with great plot and so many moments that’ll make you yell at your screen.

- Whumptober 2019 by Donovanspen. This is a series of works with Malec hurt/comfort and angst.

- No reason to feel like this by sugarandspace. A fic in which Alec deals with depression, and Magnus is there for him.

- it took me years to say the words that you did not even need said by arekiras. A series of fics about autistic!Alec and his life as a Shadowhunter, Head of the Institute, and boyfriend/husband to Magnus Bane.

- Red-Handed by Carmenlire. This is a fic about Alec relapsing with self-harm and Magnus being there for him. Like Elle’s fic above, it also portrays the way one can slip back into bad habits quickly and easily very well.

- Reasons To Stay by AceOnIce. This fic is a 5 times fic with 5 times Alec wanted to die, but didn’t.

- holding onto you by anonlymous. Another Alec & self-harm fic where Magnus is there for him.

- Once You Taste It by Carmenlire. Yet another Alec & self-harm fic, with Alec making the choice to go to Magnus before things get too far.

- An Unlikely Angel by thatnerdemilyj. This fic is a Fraywood brotp where Clary leaves nice sticky notes for Alec after being exposed to all of the bad thoughts in his mind. Bonus points, it’s written by the lovely creator of our Malec server, the other Em!

- First step after the fall by sugarandspace. A fic about the aftermath of 2x08 but Magnus has wings as a warlock mark and he used those to save Alec when he jumped. Lots of angst for both Magnus & Alec!

- Survive In That Despair by thattrainssailed. This fic is one of the only no-dialogue fics I’ve ever read, but it makes the emotion that much more potent. It’s another Alec & self-harm fic, and it’s more graphic than the others I’ve rec’d here, so please be extra cautious! <3

- We Care For Each Other by ZequoiaRose. A bad day fic with absolutely ridiculous amounts of hurt/comfort. So soft, I don’t even have words. 100/10 recommend. 

- I cannot touch because they are too near by jillyfae. This fic is honestly the best fic about the parabatai bond I’ve ever read. It has a truly lovely amount of wordbuilding and is told from Magnus’s POV where he wants to know more about the bond Alec & Jace have. Extremely soft and written by jilly from our Malec Discord server.

- Between The Lines by Carmenlire. If you like pre-canon fics at all, this is an absolute must-read. It tells a heartwrenching story of Alec & his repression due to the Shadowhunters’ homophobic society, told from Isabelle’s POV. 

- Starling by cuubism. One of the best fics about Alec & mental health issues, in my opinion. It’s absolutely heartbreaking in the best way. It can also be pretty intense, so be sure to read the tags and the author’s trigger warnings! <3

- Astraphobia by AceOnIce. An autistic!Alec college AU where Alec’s fear of thunderstorms causes him to meet Magnus for the first time. So, so, so cute. Like, illegally cute.

- The Breath of a Lie by Secretness. This fic is another one of the best fics about Alec & mental healh issues. Although, please be aware - it is very, very intense. This fic will fuck you up good if you’re not careful, so please take care of yourself. <3

- 11:45 by bidness. This fic is the last of my above 20k recs. It is the sweetest workplace AU you will ever read, where Magnus keeps stealing Alec’s lunch and leaving apology notes behind. Also written by the absolutely wonderful Tilly of the Malec Discord server.

- The Best High School Love Story (Maybe Ever) by Aria_Lerendeair. If high school AUs are your thing, you will absolutely love this. It features competitive Malec, best friends to lovers, and the cutest storyline to ever cute.

~ ~ ~

So I ended up giving you like, half of my bookmarks, oops. Sorry about that. I hope you find some that you like among these, and thank you so much again for reading my fics!

Thank you for the ask!

[immortalcoelacanth]

PTA: Science Team (HLVRAI Fic 1/3)

*pulls dusty story out of garage and drops it into Tumblr*

I have been trying to finish the first chapter for AGES, and I finally got it done! I crave PTA AU content due to the wholesomeness and angst, and I just had to work on one short fic for this fandom. So, welcome to the first chapter out of three!

Word count: 1788

Summary: PTA meetings are a sham and no one hates them more than Gordon, but upon being forced to miss a “mandatory” meeting because of work, Benrey comes up with a brilliant idea to deal with this problem.

Chapter 1: Hostile Arrangements Require Equally Hostile Solutions

“Fuck! Shit! Okay-okay, I’ll just-motherfucker she did what?!”

Cursing was in Gordon’s nature. He often used it as a way to express his angry, dismay, shock, and all sorts of other negative emotions. As such it was not unusual to see pacing about and spitting insults left and right. 

What was unusual, however, was the fact that he was cursing in his own home. He had a strict swearing free zone in effect as a way to stop Joshua from picking up on any foul language, including a swear jar that tended to fill up whenever Bubby visited. It was quite fortunate that Joshua was currently being distracted by Benrey as the pair had been playing video games together for the past hour or so. 

Or they had been until, in a surprising display of stealth, Benrey crept out of the young boy’s room and slowly approached the frustrated Gordon. 

Gordon, who was currently continuing to quietly yell into his cell phone. 

“Are you kidding me?! I was scheduled for a meeting on the weekend! I have work tonight! How in the FUCK did she-”

“psssst, hey, hey feetman. you might wanna chill out there and, uh, stuff. turn down the volume.” Benrey cut in while pointing the tv remote at Gordon and clicking the volume button. “don’t wanna be a bad boy and teach joshie any naughty words.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Gordon sighed, no real anger in his voice before redirecting his attention back to the phone call. “No, not you Natasha, it was just Benrey-”

“tell tasha her cookies are baller.”

“Wha-baller? Who the fuck says baller anymore?!” 

“c’moooooooon man, be a bro.”

“Natasha I am so sorry-tell her that yourself!”

“i can’t feeman, you know i don’t have a phone.”

“YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STUCK IT IN THE MICROWAVE!”

“i-i was just chagrin’ the battery with those radio waves, man. ads… they never lie.”

Laughter could be heard coming from the phone in response to the conversation going on between the two men. It was enough to snap Gordon out of his somewhat enraged state and refocus on whatever it was that Natasha was telling him. He gestured for Benrey to leave and only succeeded in shooing the ex-guard to the kitchen so he could have some peace. 

Not that the peace lasted long based on the muttered cursing and general sounds of Gordon stomping around. 

About ten minutes later, the frustrated physicist joined him in the kitchen, quickly making himself a cup of coffee and grumbling under his breath. Welp, looked like this was the perfect moment for some interrogation. 

“soooooo, wha was that about?” Benrey asked as he took another bite of the block of cheese he had been digging into. If you asked him, he’d say it tasted pretty gouda.

Damn, he needed to torment Gordon with more puns again. 

“Fucking-” Gordon exhaled sharply and ran a hand through his messy hair, too angry to noticed how Benrey reached out and gently pulled at some of the locks, watching them bounce and resume their previously curly shape. “Linda.”

Well, there went his good mood. 

Benrey’s eyes immediately narrowed, becoming nothing more than glowing slits in his shadowy face, as a disgruntled frown replaced his previous smile. Even the cheese in his hand seemed to start burning, smoke wafting off it as it began to melt in response to the sheer anger that name invoked in him. 

Linda Smith, the scourge of the neighborhood and one of the most uptight, pieces of shit that Benrey had ever encountered. A narcissist with a massive superiority complex, she constantly put down everyone around her who she thought of as being inferior.

Which was just a cover for how much of a racist shitwad she was, plus there were the various comments she made about fags invading the neighborhood.

An obvious insult aimed at not just Gordon and Benrey, but the other “not normal” couples that lived here and there. Poor Joshua had overheard some of the insults on multiple occasions, and she had called the kid a mutt to his face-

“Benrey? You wanna calm down before you poke holes in the ceiling again?”

Fortunately, Gordon’s exasperated voice snapped Benrey out of his enraged state before he accidentally inflicted more damage to the kitchen. A place that had seen many, many small explosions and fires. At this point, he towered over the other man as sharpened, boney spikes poked out of his back and scrapped the ceiling. Plaster fell and dusted the countertop. 

“oops, s-sorry dude.” Benrey awkwardly shrugged, flesh dripping from his arms and face in a rather gruesome display, not that Gordon was bothered by this. He was used to how… horrific his partner could become. 

Especially when someone mentioned Joshua being hurt or insulted in any way. It was actually quite wholesome thinking about how much Benrey cared about the young boy and how much their friendship had bloomed since they first met. 

“I get it.” Gordon sighed. “She’s such a bitch she’d make anyone Hulk out.”

“ten points for the ref there, feetman.”

The physicist somewhat seriously flipped Benrey off, making him laugh, before continuing to rant about the purpose of the now finished phone call. 

“I still can’t believe that stupid school listened to her, and I’m not the only one getting fucked over here!” He spat. “I can’t just drop out-”

It was at this moment that the source of Gordon’s rage dawned on Benrey, and the ex-guard spoke up. “wait, the school thingy?”

“You mean meeting?”

“ya.”

Gordon groaned and hid his face in his hands. “The MEETING! Linda fucked up my schedule! I don’t know what she said to the administrator, but they canceled the weekend meeting I was booked for and rescheduled me for tonight. When I have WORK!”

Benrey winced in sympathy and reached out to pat Gordon’s shoulder with his not cheese coated hand. “damn, th-that’s a real cringe move. can’t you get, uh, joshie’s mom to take care of it? s...shea?”

“I can’t,” Gordon muttered, face muffled by his hands. “Shea’s been on a business trip for some conference and she gets back in five days.”

“oooooh, that’s why you’ve had little josh bro for so long?”

Rather than respond, the physicist just continued to groan and hide his face in his hands as he tried to figure out how to fix the mess he had been caught up in. 

Joshua’s school had a very… specific structure to how it was run. Standard funding and where it would be directed was determined by the staff, however, sometimes the school would receive donations or raise large amounts of money through fairs and other events. 

And it was how this extra funding would be spent that the local community had the chance to weigh in on. Determining if it should be used to get more sports supplies, help fund after school programs, or be used to help make the school more accessible. 

The ramp that had been added two years ago was one such example of the potential good that these extra funds had, however there was one problem with this process. 

All parents were required to attend a meeting and voice their thoughts. This was a rather new development that had been added after a small group of disgruntled parents, ones who had objected to using the extra funds to improve the school and arguing that it should go towards planning fun trips instead, had tried to sue the school board. 

Of course, the case had immediately been thrown out and dismissed, but it had set a dangerous precedent. A precedent that now made it mandatory for all parents to attend one meeting to determine their opinions on where the funding should be used and write it down so they could not claim their voices had not been heard. 

Honestly, it was such a stupid arrangement in Gordon’s opinion. Why not just send out an email? Or forms that kids could take home to their parents. It was so… disruptive and annoying, especially for single parents who had to work long hours. 

Like him. 

His hands tensed, nails nearly dug into his skin before Benrey carefully moved them, holding them. As Gordon looked up, the ex-guard sent him an awkward yet warm smile. An attempt at reassuring him that things would turn out alright. 

“hey... you-you gotta chillax feetman, things’ll be okay-”

“How the hell am I supposed to chillax in this situation?!” Gordon barked as he removed his hands from Benrey’s, shoved himself out of his seat, and began pacing around, furiously staring at the floor. 

“I’ve been fucked over by some racist bitch! Joshua needs someone there and it has to be someone who has some kind of guardianship over him for that stupid funding bullshit!”

As his partner raged on about the unfairness and overall stupidity of the situation, Benrey decided that it was time to think. To think, and plot, and come up with something that would hopefully calm Gordon down while solving the problem that Linda had caused. 

Simply put, Joshua needed someone who had designated guardianship over him to be present during the meeting to act in his best interests. Not surprisingly, Benrey did not have this title due as both he and Gordon had agreed that it would not be the best idea due to both his inhumane nature and the potential destruction he might cause. 

But, that did not mean that only Shea and Gordon were listed as the young boy’s guardians. There was one other who had been granted the title in case of an emergency, although his presence had never been needed up until this point, which was probably why Gordon had forgotten about him in his stressed out state. 

Dr. Coomer, one of Joshua’s “grandpas”. 

And, of course, if one member of the Science Team went somewhere, then the rest had to follow. The Science Team stuck together through thick and thin, no matter the strife or struggle and always left chaos in their wake. 

Hostile arrangements required equally hostile solutions, after all. 

“this is gonna be baller.” Benrey chuckled, his eyes flashing brightly at the brilliance of his plan. Now all he had to do was get Gordon to agree to it.

“pssst, yo, xen to gaydon.”

There was something about the tone that Benrey’s voice took on that snapped Gordon out of his ranting. How calm and collected he sounded, the coherency and confidence in his words. Somewhat concerned, the physicist turned around and saw the scheming look in the ex-guard’s glowing eyes as his fingers drummed on the table. 

“feetman, i got a plan.”

                                             xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I would like to make it clear that no offense is intended towards anyone named Linda, aside from the one racist Linda I know that she was named after who will never, ever read this so my sins will forever remain unknown :>

[aelwynrights]

fic writer interview

tagged by: @mordredmanor !!

name: josephine or josie!! aelwynrights on tumblr and twitter, scrxbble on non-d20 tumblr and ao3 

fandoms: the only ones i really write for are d20 and naddpod (specifically hot boy summer because i’m fully in for the bros)

where you post: ao3! i will sometimes remember to post about them on my tumblr and very less frequently remember to tweet about them but i’m trying (i haven’t posted in months oops)

most popular oneshot: aelwyn abernant’s kiss list, aka the first fic i posted for d20 or literally any fandom! i was having emotions about aelwyn and healing and kissing girls so i wrote 5,500 words about it (and aelwyn/sam is in it for good measure)

most popular multi-chapter: i don’t write multichapter because i don’t write “plot” i write “vibes” which don’t last for multiple chapters but!! shoutout to multichapter fic writers you all are so powerful

fics you were nervous to post: uh all of them but especially find out your hiding places again because i adore egwene and i really wanted to do her justice and begin living because i don’t usually write/relate to hardwon and it was a little more experimental !! but i love them both so

how do you choose your titles: usually hozier lyrics! occasionally lyrics by other artists, and sometimes little phrases that i just make up

do you outline: absolutely not! my fic writing process is getting a line or two stuck in my head and then building 3,000 words about that so it goes very much the opposite direction from how it’s meant to (i think for this hbs carmac fic i wrote the last two or three lines before anything else)

favorite story you’ve written so far: the naddcord knows this but put your emptiness to melody! it is fully a hot boy summer fic written before any of the campaign episodes came out but i got to put my love of music and my love of writing into one sweet little thing so if you listen to naddpod or just like reading things check it out (there’s literally no naddpod spoilers because again it was written Before The Campaign Started)

complete: everything i’ve posted so far! i could write more about some of them but they are sittin’ pretty

in progress: i have 1 aelwyn fic half written in my docs about ghosts and running and nightmares that i may not be able to finish and i have 1 hot boy summer fic about last ditch late night parties that is unfortunately canon compliant so i don’t know if i can write it bc i’m not used to writing hbs fics based in canon

coming soon: nothing for now!! we just finished the d20 big bang (go read space heist bad kids au) and i am feeling eldermourne and i am feeling more aelwyn recently but we are seeing my final assignments for this bit of school through and then reevaluating fic writing

prompts: please please PLEASE send me prompts (or like. anything)! i adore writing and sharing things w this community and my inbox is always open for prompts or conversation <3

tagging: @drinkingdeadpeopletea @beverlytoegoldv @elmowithshoes and anyone else who wants to do it!!