#oops! all hamsters

[angrelysimpping]

Speaking of cat bailey, i sometimes think about oops all hamsters...

Remember them trying to keep you away from IW during blood moon? Like i can never stop thinking the bastards (bailey and avery) biting us so that IW won't yank us away... (ssh im delulu, they are saving us bc we are precious to them)

Also the "they won't leave you alone during blood moon" now imagine with the human them. Will bailey or avery really accompany u? Howhowhow

- baileyfucker

oops! all hamsters au :3

EHEHEHE

As hamsters, they're pretty outta luck, yknow? They can't really keep you safe v_v

Out of the resident bastards, I think Bailey might accompany you to wherever it is Ivory takes you. In these aus, Bailey tends to get at least mildly possessive over pc either due to light Stockholm Syndrome (is that a thing? Let's act like that's a thing) or wires getting crossed in their wee brain duw to whatever caused the au (animal aus usually meaning some animal like urge to have you as a mate). While the fucker has a monetary reason to keep track of you normally, they're more aggressive in protecting you in this situation.

Unfortunately, Avery is not coming along. They're not! They're are already tiny and wee and hamster-fied. They might bite you squeak indignantly when you're yoinked away to on blood moons but They're not following after you. What if they get hurt? No, they're not going.

Eden is in your shirt pocket. They're this big chonky hamster that would be easily mistaken as a guinea pig from size alone. They are a potato of a hamster. An animal the size of a fist and ready to act like one too. They would want to fight Ivory over trying to abduct their spouse, know they can't quite do that, and still nip at any pale tentacles that get in range.

Mmmm Whitney....might? They're fucking terrified about being a hamster and might end up getting taken with you purely because you are the only familiar thing to them right now. It's less of "trying to protect you" thing than "it can only be worse if we're separated" thing. High love Whitney would squeak angrily if anything threatened you because, hamster or not, you're their property. But a whole....wraith....thing? Dude, Whitney can't help you. They obviously can't help you. They're still squeaking.

It's a 50/50 with Wren. Look, they gotta look out for themselves, you know? It won't help anyone if their tiny hamster body gets yeeted by a weird ghost thing. But also, they're a curious fucker. And they do *like* you. Find you amusing. They'd hate to see something happen to you. So, they might tag along at high love. Maybe.

[anoddopal]

When she first joined up with The Bl.ackbeard Pirates, Bun-Bun Silva was a reclusive husk of a person. None of them initially had the opportunity to properly engage with her, nor did they even really see her— the exception of that rule being D.oc Q.

He began to relay little jokes, anecdotes, and conversations he had with Bun to the others, which were always met with a baffled: “What do you mean Bun talks?”

[azuhrasims]

You didn't think Cherry and I would forget the birds, the bees, and the grubs, did you? Cuddle that grub, darling. You cuddle everything else.

Oh, bonus! The animal Cherry absolutely does not need to care for!

[to-fall-or-not-to-fall]

bagginshield fic recs!!

Planning Your Perfect Dwarven Wedding by Meg_Thilbo

what the title says, fifteen chapters of Bilbo being confused af by dwarven culture and just trying to get his wedding in order

I Got Married In Erebor And All I Received Was Disrespect From My Entire Company by thisislegit

thorin is too much of a coward to tell bilbo they're not actually married by dwarven customs and the others are done

A Pretty Face by panickyintheuk

apparently thorin is ugly and bilbo has not gotten the memo

What To Expect by alkjira

they have children and there is a possibly magical cat and a hamster

It was a Fine, Bright Morning: Perfect for Murder. by meyari

wherein the hobbits have had enough of lobelia and the dwarves are traumatized

The REAL White Council by orphan_account

azog is the only real one here, if you haven't sacrificed an arm for your otp are you really even trying

Well. Fuck. by ThyLocalBard

bilbo is angry and gandalf is a traitor

When Silver Fails by amethystviolist

they get together and stuff idk but it's really well-written

A Hobbit Prince for a Dwarf King by bebel_bee

balin wtf i mean it worked but

The Nine Children Appropriated By Thorin Oakenshield (And The One He Didn't Want For Himself) by Shay_Moonsilk

thorin does his best impression of tony stark and everyone is so done

between friends (and the occasional lover) by sepulchralsymphonies

thorin is a better actor than he seems

Take My Hand by Erulisse_Manwathiel

so by dwarven standards bilbo has been dating literally everyone they meet and thorin is concerned

The Grace of Yavanna by chrystal896

hobbits are really frickin weird ok

Siege of Erebor by airebellah

a great battle for the ages

Clothing Wars by JaceDexter

i for one cannot believe the elves agreed to that but then again it was bilbo asking so

Bilbo Baggins's Greatest Burglary by MordorIsCalling

dwarves

Galadriel's Hairpin Box by Erudammit, orphan_account

gandalf makes questionable decisions and smaug dies a lot

A Complaint A Day... by birdkeeperklink (speculating)

bilbo complains a lot one of the great mysteries of erebor

Say the Magic Words by birdkeeperklink (speculating)

hobbits have interesting ways of problem-solving and also magic that too

a tale of ivory table cloth and ruined weddings by Imagined, rottingflower, Scarlet_Ribbons

thorin may have forgotten to propose a little bit oops

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Come Out and Play 1

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, age gap, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your mom welcomes an old friend back into her life that brings chaos with him.

Characters: Thor, Loki

Note: Two silverfoxes for the price of one

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Thor loves thunder. Take care. 💖

Your mother’s singing along to her favourite Donna Summer classic as you come through the front door. She doesn’t hear you as you drop your bag and your boots at the door. You cluck and shake your head as you tiptoe down the hallway and peer into the kitchen. All this just because you’re staying the night? 

You tilt your head and squint at her diligent fingers. She roles the filo around the filling and places each little pocket on a pan. The warmth of the stove radiates through the space and beckons you in. After the frigid chill of your apartment, it’s a relief. 

You waft over to the counter with the smell of baking pastry and chopped peppers. You stand beside your mom quietly and smile at her work. Her arm collides with yours and she looks down at you. She squeals and tosses one of the uncooked hors d’oevres. It sticks to the wall before falling apart. 

“Oh, my!” She puts her hand to her chest and raises her voice, “Alexa, lower volume.” The music recedes and you back up with an apologetic bow. “Hon, I didn’t know you were here. Oh, I hate when you sneak up on me like that.” 

It’s not intentional, more a bad habit. You’re a bit too quiet for your own good sometimes. And hers.  

“Sorry,” you mutter and turn your attention back to the pan, “...lotta food...” 

“Yes, I—I'm so sorry, I didn’t mention. I forgot.” She rambles as she does. Where you’re quiet and reserved, she often talks in streams of nervousness. “When you called, I was so busy and I had so much going on in my head. Sometimes it feels like there’s a hamster in there running on its wheel.” She throws her hands up in emphasis, “anywho, I’m so sorry to hear about the building, did the landlord say when the heat will be fixed?” 

“...dunno,” you shrug and sway. “...the food?” 

“Oh, right, yes! I was saying, dear, I have an old friend coming over. He’s just moved to town and I was so excited to hear from him. We went to college together! I last saw him when I was probably your age. He’s so nice, you know? And we kinda found each other online when I was looking up fake flowers for the new door wreath. I was thinking pinecones would be seasonal but then it occured to me I could get some real ones from the part--” 

“Mom,” you rein her in with a dulcet drone. 

“Ah, my friend, I know! He’s so lovely. You’ll like him. I figure, we can have dinner and some drinks. You’re welcome to join.” 

You nod and peek over skeptically at the bottle of wine, “wouldn’t wanna invade. Should’ve said something.” 

“You know you’re always welcome here,” she reaches for you and you catch her wrists, keeping her sticky hand from touching your cheeks. “Oops!” She giggles and recoils. She turns and rinses her hands off. “Sorry, hon.” 

“I’ll stay out of the way,” you assure her. 

“Don’t be shy. Oh, and make sure you at least get some food.” She flutters around and dries off with a hand towel. “You’ll like him. Thor is super nice! He knew your dad too.” 

You nod and don’t comment on the last part. You never really knew your father yourself. He left when you were young. He didn’t go very far but you see your half-sibling in passing at the mall or even a few times at college. Thankfully, you’re all done with classes. 

“Alright,” you agree. “I’ll put my stuff away.” 

She hums and tells the smart speaker to turn it back up. You leave in the blare of disco music and grab your bag from the entryway. You wish you’d known she was having company. You would have just made do with some extra blankets. 

As if to blow away that thought, the wind whistles and shakes the windows. You go upstairs and put your knapsack on the wooden chair by the narrow desk against the wall. You stretch your arms and yawn as you pace around. Your stomach growls as the aromas in the kitchen follow you up. 

You go back down, hoping to assuage your appetite with some water, and as you get the bottom step, the doorbell chimes. You stop and wait, staring at the door. You mom sings along to Lipps, Inc and you sigh. 

You hop down and shuffle to the door. You pull it open, hiding behind it shyly. The man on the other side searches over your head before he thinks to look down. As you peek around wood, he smiles.

He’s tall. Very tall. And his shoulders are as wide as the large oak in the front yard. His hair shines beneath the light hung beside the door as his eyes sparkle. 

He holds a cone of flowers, the petals bristling in the fall wind, as shadow dims their colour.  

“Hm, I must have the wrong address,” he leans back on his heel and reads the numbers on the siding. “You wouldn’t happen to know where Selina lives?” 

“Here,” you squawk awkwardly. 

“Oh? You’ve shrunk... but you’ve aged well.” He tilts his head but his lips suggest he’s joking. 

“She’s in the kitchen. Wait.” 

You close the door in his face. It’s only as you go to get your mom, that you realise how rude you must have seemed. You didn’t invite him in or introduce yourself. Well, he isn’t here for you, is he? 

You go to the smart speaker and tap the button to pause the music, “he’s here.” 

“Oh!” She squeals and bounces, “already?” 

“Mmhmm,” you nod and back out of her way as she hurries to the door.  

She sweeps through and swings the door open. A gust of wind blows in and you peer around the door frame. The man’s deep voice booms out. 

“Selina! You look just as young as the day we met!” 

“Oh you!” She chirps. “You always were the worst liar.” 

“Mm, I am very honest, Seli,” he rumbles. “And who was that little mouse that was scurrying around? She fled so fast, I did not get a name.” 

“Oh, that’s my daughter,” she explains. “I told you about her. Her radiator broke so she’s here for the night. Always nice to have a full nest!” 

“Of course, of course,” he agrees. “Well, I wish I’d known. I’d have brought two bouquets.” 

“These are so lovely. When did you get so sweet, Thor?” 

“I’ve always been sweet, you were just too distracted to notice,” he retorts. 

She laughs and titters around, “I need a vase. Oh, these are beautiful! Ooh, and a much needed pop of colour. I do hate the winter and it’s coming so fast. Please, come in, come in! You must be freezing.” 

He chuckles, amused by her chatter, “you know I always liked the cold.” 

“Mm, you would. Well, not all of us can bear it. Honey! Oh, there you are,” she pokes her head out from the dining room. “Come, meet my friend.” 

You reluctantly come forward. You fold your hands together and drag your feet. You should’ve stayed upstairs. 

“This is Thor. We both took architecture together!” 

You nod and look at her wide-eyed. You can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze but you know he’s watching you. You rock and twine your fingers between each other. 

“She just finished her own degree. She took literature! Isn’t that so lovely?” 

“Literature? Ah, my brother was always a fan,” he muses. “I do like some good story telling but I could never pick up much on the symbolism.” 

You slant your lips, “oh, cool.” 

“Anyway, I have some wine, why don’t you have a glass while I finish dinner? Hon, you want some too?” She stops beside you with the cluster of flowers. You shake your head. 

You flit up around the staircase, crowded by Thor as he lurks there, and you quickly flee. You don’t look back as you turn down the hall and barrel into his room. You can’t make out your mother’s words as she speaks but his laughter thunders up after you. 

You hide in your room and harrumph. You don’t know why you’re like this. Even at work, you can’t help but try to blend into the wall. It’s not hard to do in the stock room. 

You take out your laptop and resign yourself to a night of Netflix. You’re a bit disappointed. You were hoping to spend some time with your mom but she deserves a life of your own. For all the years she spent making sure you got this far, she’s earned it. 

You turn the speakers up until they hurt your ears. You can still hear their voices below. The savoury scent of your mother’s cooking rise with their conversation. You didn’t realise how much you missed her dinners until now. Those frozen dinners and fast-food deliveries can’t compare with the real thing. 

You hunker down in bed and try not to think of your growling stomach. You’ll wait to reheat some once that guy leaves. You sink down further and further, basking in the warmth of blasting from the vents. You dread going back to your apartment, even after the heat is fixed. 

Your eyelids begin to itch but before you can drift off, there’s a knock on your door. You get up and open it for your mom. The plate in her hands has your mouth watering as you get another whiff of her handwork. 

“Here ya go, hon,” she holds it out. “I’m sorry it’s a full house.” 

“It’s okay. Didn’t have to.” 

“You need to eat,” she insists. You take the plate. “We’ll try to be quiet. You know he’s so loud. He always has been. He makes me seem tame, doesn’t he?” 

You smile at her yapping. She’s so vibrant and chatty. You never could be even when you try. You envy how bright she can be. You feel so dull next to her. Sometimes you feel like you’ve disappointed her. 

“Thanks," you murmur.

“No problem! Love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

You wait for her to go before you close the door. You might not have a dad but you’re lucky to have her. You put the plate on your desk and move your laptop. You eat as you watch the show that isn’t as good as the internet suggested. 

The food is delicious. The little stuffed pastries are a bit spicy and you regret not grabbing a glass of water earlier. You got so distracted by that man. You think of sneaking down but you can just drink from the bathroom sink when you finish. A little tap water won’t hurt. 

You clear your plate quicker than you mean to and go back to the bed. The moonlight wavers outside your window as the night ware on. You yawn and make yourself get up. You can’t leave your dirty plate in here. 

You don’t notice the quiet in the house until you open the door. You listen at the top of the stairs before you descend. Slowly and silently, you make your way to the bottom and curve around to the kitchen. You rinse your plate off and grab some water while you have the chance. 

Your pulse builds as the house remains still. Strange. How did you not realise earlier? Well, you had your laptop cranked up. You can hear it from down there. 

You head back upstairs, balancing the glass in the dark, and as you pass your mom’s door, it opens. You yipe as a large figure collides with you. It’s him. Thor. 

You spill the water down your front and whip around to face him. He steadies you with his hand on your shoulder, “so sorry, mouse. I didn’t mean to--” 

His flannel shirt is undone and the soft glow of a lamp limns him from behind. Oh no! You pull away from him and skirt down the hall. Embarrassment nips at your ears and cheeks. You knew you were intruding on your mom’s night. 

You try not to think of what you interrupted as you dip into the spare room and snap the door shut with a kick of your foot. You stay near the door, breathless, until you hear the bathroom door squeak on its hinges. You shake your head and growl. 

You hope you didn’t ruin it. As awkward as it is to think of your mom in a relationship, she’s been alone for so long and you know you’re part of the reason why. Next time, you won’t go running back to mommy. It’s best for both of you that you grow up. 

[anachronismstellar]

Hello, I'm the anon who chucked a lot of brainrot are you recently, gonna sign off as moon anon since now, cause theme.

Okay but what if, one of the next peak lords really needs a hug. Like, that person is at least lvl 3 touch starved but doesn't really have the guts nor a person to ask for cuddles. And then they hear of Shang "peak lord collector" Qinghua. And they logically conclude that since he doesn't mind close contact he also wouldn't mind some other types of it, right?

Que a letter goes in with reports next time, adressed to SQH and enchanted not to be opened by any one else. And he's confused but then he opens it and it's very sweet letter asking if he would be amenable for a cuddle session. And on one hand what the heck, on the other this is so cut omg.

So he accepts and then he basically gets a cuddle buddy who also can make some really good snacks and actually got some really really nice bed and oop he fell asleep.

Bonus points if the peak lord is somewhere on the aroace spectrum and while there may or may not be sex, that is definitely a peak lord that will not hesitate to shank someone for sqh. So they are def collected. "Why do you invite him over?" "I'm a slut for cuddles. We also have a book club"

And yes, they will try to shank MBJ if he tries to take their cuddle time away from them. They might be the tiniest peak lord at the cursed 5'2/5'3 but it's cause they are condensed ball of mass destruction and they have their ways.

-moon anon

Moony!!! I'm so so sorry it took me so long to finish this asiufhsaudf

And, as you know, and as I do, the prompt ran away and became its own thing lol

The name for the Divination peak I borrowed from the amazing faq by 00janeblonde

Now, a few TWs:

There is a two line description of childbirth, I'm gonna put it in orange if anyone wants to skip that. Also, Jiao Qingxing is a very anxious baby! I didn't describe any panic attacks, but he is going through some severe touch starvation here, if that squicks you please please take care of yourself!

Last, but not least, I do have some comments about our dear hamster behavior in this fic, but enough of me blabbing, and on with the show! :D

--------

Jiao Qingxing liked to think he had a good face. It wasn't good practice for a physiognomer to analyze their own physical appearance, that would be the same as dooming themselves. But it was hard not to measure the space between his brows and nose while looking at his bronze mirror, or trace the small mole he had on his cheek with his fingertips when nervous. 

Nevertheless it was a good face. Maybe not a peerless beauty as Shen-shixiong, or striking as Wei-shixiong, but with good proportions and free of hardships. 

His numbers were also to be praised. Born under fortuitous time with astonishing balance between his elements, he knew he had been chosen to be the head disciple as soon as he gave his first cry while his mother still laid on her delivery bed, sheets smeared with blood and sweat. Oh he had to go through all the procedures to enter the Sect, but everyone knew that he would pass all tests. It was written on his name, on his destiny. And the following peak Lord of Zhi Ji would be chosen the same way. 

There was only one thing, he thought, in which he felt less fortunate than his martial siblings. 

“There you go, Shidi. You can put your clothes back on.”

Intimacy.

Jiao Qingxing’s entire body shook with relief as he sat down on the soft cot bed, the movement making his jewelry chim softly like clear bells. He felt a bit bad for tuning Mu-shixiong off while he gave the same old same old report on his vitals and his qi, too tired to hear the encouragement on the doctor's voice.

There was nothing wrong with him, he was improving since the past session, they were taking the necessary steps to move a bit forward and maybe take his hair do down while they do their sessions-

Jiao Qingxing closed his eyes, swallowing down as Mu-shixiong’s speech echoed on his head before the doctor said it, word by word, death by a million papercuts.

No matter how much time had passed, how closer he had gotten with his martial siblings, he seemed to be encased in glass. And it wasn’t for lack of trying on both sides, they all have been head disciples one day after all, and he had attended many parties in which Zhang Qingyan’s wine was passed around freely and games were played as if they were kids once more. 

Nevertheless, it’s been years since he had approached Mu-shixiong with his little situation, and still he hasn’t allowed himself to relax enough to put his hair down during their sessions. He appreciated Mu-shixiong not forcing the issue, but made Jiao Qingxing a bit sad that the doctor wouldn’t scream at him and make him go through his treatment properly as he would with the other peak lords.

Made their hugs feel a bit hollow, more an obligation than a nice moment between them.

“This one thanks Mu-shixiong for his time,” Jiao Qingxing said as he put his robes back on, one layer at a time as one would put silk over expensive porcelain to protect it from chipping. 

“Before you go, Shidi,” Mu Qingfang extended his hand towards Jiao Qingxing, the heat of his palm hovering over his arm without touching it. “This one has a matter to discuss with you.”

Jiao Qingxing held back his desire to hunch his shoulders, blinking away the visions of a thousand futures that could possibly settle over them. 

It was his power, it was his curse. Mu-shixiong called it anxiety but he had got too many predictions right to fully trust the doctor’s diagnosis. 

“As Shidi knows, this one is going to the Caves at the end of the month. Not for long, but for enough time to cultivate and check the others there. Unfortunately, I don’t think I will be back on time to have another of our sessions,” and it would be so funny if it weren’t sad to see his Shixiong nervous, as if Jiao Qingxing would cry and despair. 

Honestly, he felt bad for feeling relief.

“It’s no issue, Shixiong. This one understands. We can reschedule it for a further date.”

“I would agree to that if Shidi’s meridians weren’t blocked as they are now,” and wasn't Shixiong so nice to say it as if it were just a minor hiccup instead of him being in the cusp of a qi deviation? “I fear that we reached an impasse. I can’t forward your case to my head disciple because that would be improper, but I also can’t leave you without your treatment.”

“What are you suggesting, Shixiong?”

The doctor took off his glasses, pressing down on the faint mark on the bridge of his nose. Jiao Qingxing wouldn’t dare read his face so shamelessly, but he couldn’t help to think that the faint stubble fit him well, balanced his youth and gave the Qing Cao Peak Lord an air of maturity that was charming. None of these observations helped him when the suggestion came:

“I have made a list,” Mu-shixiong said as he slowly put his glasses back on, patting his robes before extending a piece of folded paper to Jiao Qingxing. “Of other possible candidates for your session. Of course the final decision-”

“No,” he said as he tightened his robes a bit too forcefully, the silk slipping through his fingers as they shook from anger.

“Shidi, be reasonable-”

“I said no!” he shouted, and that made the doctor raise both his hands, always hovering but never touching.

No one ever touched-

“Shidi,” Mu-shixiong waited until he had calmed down, not wanting to upset even more the progress they had made during the past two hours. “I assure you, whoever name is on that list will be careful with the information and I will instruct them myself about all the procedures.”

And isn’t it sad? He should be used to it, but it still hurt to hear it in medical terms like that. Procedures. As if hugging Jiao Qingxing demanded step by step routine. 

He took the paper. He knew that Mu-shixiong wouldn’t scream at him or force anything, but the doctor might get some weird ideas like dragging Jiao Qingxing to the caves with him and that would be even worse than dealing with whoever might be written down.

Jiao Qingxing hated the caves, too many possibilities, too many destinies interconnected, too many futures that he couldn’t grasp. 

“How…” and he had to take a small pause, pressing his lips in a thin line as he blew air from his nose slowly. 

Exhale. Inhale.

“How much time do I have before sending you a response?”

“I would say until the end of the week.” and he didn’t need much to read the discomfort on his Shixiong’s face. He knew the deadline was tight, considering how sensitive it was for Jiao Qingxing. 

“Very well,” he said instead of lashing out again, picking up the list without looking at it yet. “I will think about it.”

“This Shixiong appreciates his Shidi efforts.”

He left Qing Cao Peak with disheveled robes and a sword speed that would make Liu-shixiong envious.

-xx-

It had taken him three days to look at the list hidden on the sleeve of his robes, the paper so crumbled it was a miracle Jiao Qingxing could understand Mu-shixiong's calligraphy at all. The list, as expected, was extremely short, with some names that were a bit unexpected, such as Qinghui-shixiong, to some a bit more sensible as Gao-shixiong. 

What was curious, though, was the name at the very bottom of the list, scratched out but still recognizable, considering his options:

Shang Qinghua

Now, there could have been many reasons for the name to have been reconsidered. He wasn't one for gossiping, but he was almost sure he heard someone say that Mu-shixiong had special feelings for Shang-shixiong. Could be that he had put the name down and then got jealous? Mu-shixiong didn't seem the type to do so…

Another possibility was that Shang-shixiong himself was too busy to schedule an entire evening with him to deal with his situation. That sounded more plausible, considering how he had never seen Shang-shixiong stop moving or taking a break. 

But that wouldn't be the perfect reason to put Shang-shixiong's name on the list? Mu-shixiong might not be the jealous type but he was the type of person that wouldn't throw away the chance to force his most jittery Shixiong to stop and rest. So, putting Shang Qinghua's name wouldn't be killing two birds with one stone? Why take his name away then? 

He traced the lines over Shang Qinghua's name, making an impulsive decision. 

He was making it a bigger fuss than it was. They would meet, have calming tea, sleep for two hours and then probably never look each other in the face again, and then he would go back to his appointments with Mu-shixiong that were strictly professional but at least it didn't involve socializing. 

That’s what he repeated to himself as his head disciple announced the arrival of the An Ding peak lord, a few weeks later, for their appointment. He asked his head disciple to guide his Shixiong to his Leisure House, putting his papers aside to take a deep breath, gathering the courage to get up and move. He hadn’t slept a wink the past night, jumping from bed as soon as it was deemed an acceptable hour to take the longest bath he had ever taken, scrubbing his skin so hard it became red all over. It didn’t help with the sensation of ants crawling up his arms, but it made him more grounded, focused on what he had to do. 

Tea. A little talk. Sleep. Send Shang Qinghua away.

He opened the door to his Leisure house as if opening the door to a war council, soft steps hesitantly carrying him all the way to the table where Shang Qinghua was sitting, back towards the door. 

What made Jiao Qingxing stop on his tracks was how relaxed his Shixiong seemed to be. The bun on the top of his head was nowhere to be seen, instead soft brown hair covered yellow robes in waves of curls, as if Autumn itself had dropped its colors all over Shang Qinghua. 

The smell of lavender, the usual tea Mu-shixiong would prepare for them both before their appointments, was a familiar comfort, calming his heart as he got closer to Shang Qinghua, stopping just a little bit behind the An Ding peak lord. 

“Shixiong.”

The sound of wood being knocked followed by a string of curses made Jiao Qingxing flinch, immediately taking a step back. Meanwhile, Shang Qinghua rushed to get on his feet, almost falling face first on the ground to take a bow, excuses spilling from his mouth faster than Jiao Qingxing could understand.

“-said that I should wait here, but oh my god I should have waited by the door, I’m so sorry Shidi, shit I’m already messing this up, aren’t I? And after all the talk Mu-shixiong sat me through too, oh Heavens, but I made some tea! Lavender is your favorite, right? I brought some others as well just in case-”

“S-Shixiong-” it was too much, Shang-shixiong was too much. Jiao Qingxing already knew that; he had to sit through all the Sect meetings just as all the other peak lords and ladies after all. However, one thing was to face Shang Qinghua’s presence with others to shield Jiao Qingxing from all the anxiety Shang-shixiong seemed to be moved by, another thing entirely was to bear the full force of it. 

This might have been a mistake, maybe Mu-shixiong had been right on striking the name off the list.

Because on top of all the exaggerated hand movement, the nonstop talking without talking about nothing at all, there was… There was something odd about Shang-shixiong’s that Jiao Qingxing couldn’t pinpoint. An energy that made all the hairs of the back of his neck tingle, rising up as if he were in danger; a faint circle of bright blue in his eyes that hurt Jiao Qingxing head if he stared for too long. 

Things were moving too fast out of control, he had to go back to the plan, they already had tea so they just had to talk, if Shang-shixiong let me talk, Qingxing thought with a deep sigh as the other kept going on and on about-

What was he talking about?

“-but then I read this book uh- back in my hometown, I don’t have it anymore, but I did some research, you don’t need to worry!”

“Thanking Shixiong for his efforts and his time,” Jiao Qingxing bowed low, already feeling exhausted. “But this one must beg forgiveness for wasting Shixiong’s time. This one will talk to Mu-shixiong-”

Warm hands touched his shoulders to gently make him straighten his posture, pulling a gasp from Jiao Qingxing's throat. He forced his gaze to stay cast downwards, not daring to look at his Shixiong’s brown-blue-gold eyes. 

“Jiao-shidi has nothing to apologize for, it’s this one who has to beg for forgiveness,” Shang Qinghua slowly but surely moved one of his hands from Qingxing’s shoulder to his hair, tugging it gently before putting it behind Qingxing’s ear. “This one went a bit ahead of himself, didn’t he? Hm…” and then he let it go, as if Jiao Qingxing hadn’t been branded by his heat, melting under it as soft snow on the first day of spring. 

Shang Qinghua sat down again, tapping the pillow next to him as an invitation, his silence ringing on Jiao Qingxing's ears after so much noise in the past minutes. He definitely should have just waited for Mu-shixiong, he could feel his breathing starting pick up as the situation fell out of control, he wanted to be touched again, he wasn’t expecting Shang-shixiong to be so warm, he-

“Here’s what we are going to do, Shidi,” Shang Qinghua said as he pulled Jiao Qingxing by the sleeve of his robe, making the Zhi Ji peak lord sit heavily next to him. “We are going to talk. Just talk. Okay? If you still think this is a bad idea, I will talk to Mu-shidi and we can think of something else. No harm done. What do you think?”

He gave Shang Qinghua a little nod. Talking is a good idea, he could talk. Staying so close to Shang Qinghua might be a bit too much, but he also wasn’t extremely bothered by it. 

“Good, great, now, I know that if we keep going this way I will do all the talking and that would be bad,” Shang-shixiong said as he busied himself by pouring them tea, offering the first cup to Qingxing as if he weren’t throwing all the ceremony and property out of the window. “So why don’t you tell me a little bit about your cultivation? I had never had someone reading my fortune, sounds fun!” He finished with a nervous giggle clearly not wanting to have his fortune read at all.

That was okay. He wasn’t going to do it anyway.

“There are many ways to tell one’s fortune.” he forced himself to say after sipping his tea, closing his eyes, pretending to be lecturing his disciples. “Analyzing the stars and the calendar is a very common one nowadays, but there is also the Four Pillars and, in my field of studies, Physiognomy. It’s not perfect, usually one has to combine more than one method…” and bit by bit he relaxed, letting his shoulders drop, the trembling of his hands simmering down until they were steady again. 

He spoke for a long time, explaining each type of method, their histories and when to apply them. And when it felt as if he couldn’t speak anymore, Shang-shixiong started asking questions, doing his best to pull Jiao Qingxing into a debate, challenging him to explain from how one could calculate the position of stars and determine which place a bed should be put in a room, to how the lines of the palm of his hand were connected to his heart and life. 

And the most mesmerising of it all, Shang Qinghua paid attention. It hurt a bit to have his full attention so close, but Jiao Qingxing couldn’t help but drink all of it, eager to be seen, to be truly seen after so many years of polite small talk and far away smiles. 

Before they both noticed, the sun had already set and their time together had come to an end. Reluctantly, they both stand on their feet, with Jiao Qingxiong following Shang Qinghua all the way to the door. 

“Well, that was fun!” Shang-shixiong chuckled, not back to his full energetic self, but unable to hold back his excitement either. “Now I have to rearrange my entire room, see if it improves my mood like you said.”

“I will be waiting to hear about the results, Shixiong.” Jiao Qingxing couldn’t hold back a smile either, shaking his head at his Shixiong’s silliness. “But it takes time. It won’t work after a night.”

“Yea, you are right.” Shang Qinghua nodded with a sigh, a twinkle in his eye that made Jiao Qingxing blink. “So I just have to keep coming here for the next few weeks then. To give you my report.”

Jiao Qingxing didn’t have a single romantic bone in his body. Or any interests for these types of relationships, that’s precisely what had put him in this situation to begin with.

But even he had to admit that… That Shang Qinghua was good at this. Flirting. Heavens, he might have even felt his cheeks heating up!

“If Shixiong so desires,” he said as he lowered his eyes once more, unsure how one should send a person away after being flirted with. “This one would be happy to hear Shixiong’s report.”

“Great! I will bring the tea, I know we didn’t drink much of it this time-”

“White tea.”

“Pardon?”

Jiao Qingxing felt the burn on his cheeks spread down his neck, glaring at the floor as if it could force it to open and end this embarrassing moment. 

“I prefer white tea. Mu-shixiong makes me drink the other to help me calm down but-”

“Ah,” and Qingxing couldn’t help but look up at Shang Qinghua, the soft smile on the An Ding peak lord tugging something on his heart. “Then I will bring the white tea. No need to tell Mu-shidi about it, huh?”

With a last promise to be back at the same time the next day, Shang Qinghua jumped on his sword, soon enough becoming a speckle of yellow in the dark sky. 

-xx-

Shang Qinghua came back the following day. And the next. And the next one.

Sometimes they talked for hours, other times they worked along in silence, or as silently Shang Qinghua was capable of being. It almost felt like routine, as if it was normal for the An Ding peak lord to spend so much time at Zhi Ji peak.

And, bit by bit, he could feel Shang Qinghua getting closer and closer. A brush of their hands here and there, a playful tug at his sleeves, their shoulders touching as they revised paperwork side by side. 

Again, Jiao Qingxing wasn’t a romantic, but he could appreciate the gestures, more than anything he could appreciate the lack of hesitancy in which Shang Qinghua invaded his personal space, as if he had all the right to be there. And funnily enough, Jiao Qingxing felt as he did. 

“Shidi,” Shang Qinghua called his attention, probably not for the first time by the way he was pulling his sleeve. “Can I brush your hair?”

The question felt as if it came out of nowhere, making Jiao Qingxing pick up one of the braids close to his neck.

“What for?” he asked, not entirely against the idea, but also not sure if he wanted to trust his hair to the person who kept theirs in a bun most of the time. But all he got for an answer was a shrug, and Shang Qinghua flicking the small chain on his hair pin. 

Too curious to see where this was going, he gave one last glance at his Shixiong before going all the way to his room to grab his comb, handing it to Shang Qinghua before sitting with his back towards the other. 

“If it hurts, let me know,” he whispered a bit too close to Jiao Qingxiong's ear, starting him enough for Qingxing to move a bit away from his Shixiong. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Shang Qinghua said with a squeeze of his shoulder,  getting to work. And, as if they had all the time in the world, Shang Qinghua took away his hair pin, using his fingers to massage Jiao Qingxing's scalp. 

It was as if someone had poured hot qi from his head, dripping down all the way to his toes. He barely could hold back a moan as Shang Qinghua used his nails to scratch from the top of his head to the back of his ears, thumbs pressing a bit over the back of his neck. 

He couldn't help but close his eyes, tipping his head back as clever fingers separated his hair into sectionsbefore Shang-shixiong actually started combing from the bottom all the way to his head.

It might have been the most relaxed he had felt in years. He felt his body swaying, a whine leaving his lips when strong arms pulled him closer, until his back was fully resting against Shang Qinghua's chest. And again it felt like Shang-shixiong was made of heated rocks, his warmth making it very difficult for Jiao Qingxing to concentrate on being awake.

“Shidi?” The voice next to his ear made him whine, the sensation too good for him to answer properly. “What about we take a nap, hn?” and how could he do anything else but agree?

Once more he was held by Shang Qinghua's gentle hands, this time to be carried all the way to his rooms. A distant voice in his head screamed that it was a mess, Shang-shixiong deserved better than two days old sheets and an unmade bed, but there was a rumbling coming from Shang-shixiong's chest as he hummed a nice tune, distracting Jiao Qingxing from his loud thoughts. At some point the humming was gone, replaced by Shang Qinghua explaining everything he was doing as he removed all the layers of robes Jiao Qingxing preferred to wear, leaving the Zhi Ji peak lord only with his most inner robe.

“Shixiong,” he whispered as cold sunk deep into his skin the moment Shang Qinghua left him to remove his own clothing. “Shixiong, please-”

“Shh, sorry, sorry, I'm right here,” and then Jiao Qingxing felt-

He felt.

The hiccup was like a punch to his chest as tears trickled down his face. Suddenly it was impossible to stop the sobbing as he hid his face against Shang Qinghua's neck, calloused hands touching him everywhere, burning his skin in a searing white sensation. 

But not hurting. Never hurting.

“Shhh… Shidi is doing great, that's it, let it all out…” Shang Qinghua's tone of voice sounded far from being an order, but it felt as a command all the same. 

And Jiao Qingxing cried, and cried, until his voice was gone and his heart felt hollow. And when there was nothing left for him to pour out, Shang Qinghua was there to hold him through, his presence a soothing balm that lulled Jiao Qingxing to sleep.

The next day, when Shang Qinghua left after they shamelessly slept in, there was a smile on Jiao Qingxing's blushing face, and a letter to Mu-shixiong ready to be sent, reporting not only the successful results of the session but also a request to discuss his treatment in depth.

-xx-

Ye Ling had a notebook.

Not an An Ding notebook, that was a separate one, filled with all types of forms and procedures, plans for classes and disciples’ names that needed to be kept close or the ones that should be praised. No, her notebook, well cherished and taken care of, had the cover made of dark leather, paper so used that it didn’t close properly anymore, calligraphy so small that, if her Shizun ever saw it he would say she was practicing to cheat on tests. 

Not that he would ever see it. If Shizun ever caught her notebook... 

She would be dead.

It had Shang-shizun’s entire love life noted somehow. The things she was able to piece together, at least. There were many gaps, her Shizun too paranoid for her to snoop too much without getting in trouble. And because she would be dead if her Shizun ever found the book, she took an extra step to write everything in code, with names and symbols that she had made herself.

Her Shizun had taught her well!! It didn’t hurt to be prepared!!

However, because her Shizun was also the person who taught her how to write things in code, when she saw her precious dark leather notebook in the hands of Shang Qinghua, An Ding Peak Lord himself, she felt her vision darkening, and the sound of her heartbeat so loud it made her ears hurt.

She could try her luck. He probably hasn’t seen her come in. She turned around, ready to bolt-

“Ye Ling.”

Oh. Oh no.

That wasn’t the “I am so angry I might actually go after Liu Qingge and throw him down.” voice.  

That was the “You didn’t file the form correctly and now I’m angry and disappointed” voice.

And it was so so much worse.

“Yes, Shizun?”

He closed the notebook and put it down in front of him right in the middle of his desk, as if daring her to get closer to grab it. Then, slowly, so slowly that all the hair in her arms and neck stood up, he raised his eyes at her, pressing the point of his index finger against the pad of his thumb, the only thing betraying calm posture.

“I won’t step in the way of my head disciple getting some extra coin.” He got up from his desk and her knees were going to fail her if he got closer, all the alarm bells ringing on her head. “But you must agree that I am entitled to some questions.”

She dropped to the floor so fast her hands slapped loudly on wooden boards, touching her forehead to the ground.

“This disciple is immensely sorry and apologizes! This lowly one is ready to accept her punishment as Shizun deems fit!!” At each word that she screamed, his footsteps got closer. “This one won’t complain and will take care of the entire course plan of the new disciples when time comes, this one is also willing-”

She wasn’t even aware of what she was promising anymore when he grabbed her by her forearms, picking her up as if she were a small crate of parchments to be moved, patting her sleeves to clean up the dust on her white robes.

“Stop that! It won’t work with me, young lady, in the school of begging for your life, I might be your grandmaster!” 

Shizun, have some decency! Show some mercy!! Normal people don’t brush off their students' meddling and betting on their love life! And they don’t confess being masters of begging for their life either!!

“No take backsies though, next batch of new disciples is all yours to teach.”

“But Shizun-”

“Nope, not hearing it! You said you would do it, they are yours now!”

“A-Aren’t you mad?” and it was a testimony of how confused she was that she didn’t even notice the extremely informal way she just addressed him. And thank Heavens her Shizun wasn’t one to stick to these types of formalities, otherwise she would be packing her bags to the sewage district for sure.

“Oh, don’t be silly, of course I’m not mad!”

“Uh-”

“I am furious,” and the glare he sent her way was scarier than Shen-shishu’s, she didn’t even know that was possible. “I don’t care if you make a betting poll on my sleeping habits or whatever I will quit my job before the next Immortal Alliance Conference, what I am disappointed about is the fact that you wrote it down!”

She didn’t flinch. She knew her Shizun would never touch a hair of her head to harm her in any way, and she knew she deserved this scolding. But in moments like these, when her Shizun is actually serious for a change, when she was reminded that her Shizun was an Immortal with enough strength to level mountains if needed, and a brain with so much information about everything and everybody that it was actually scary, it was very difficult to not send a prayer to the Heavens for her life.

The Sewers might not be so bad. Maybe.

“This one begs her Shizun for mercy, the notebook was in a safe location, I swear!”

“Not so safe if I was able to get my hands on it!” he argued back, and this close she could see the white of his eyes, his lips pulled down in an almost sneer. 

She lowered her head again, blinking to make the burning sensation in her eyes go away. She wasn’t going to cry, she wasn’t, tears were for playing victim and tricking the enemy, that’s what Shizun had taught her. 

She would swallow her pride and accept her fate. 

An inked finger touched her chest, right down her neck, making her tilting her head even lower to see what her Shizun would do next. But before she could move at all, he swept his finger up, catching her nose for just enough of a moment to make her stare at his hand cross eyed, letting her go with after a gentle squeeze. 

“I taught you better than that, Ye Ling.”

She didn't have the face to answer or look at him, so she only nodded, shoulders hunched to make herself smaller.

“Now, as for punishment, I want a complete research on codification of information, different types of ciphers, and talismans for protecting books and contracts.”

She raised her head, not wanting to complain about her good luck but also not believing in it one bit, twisting and pulling the cord of her head disciple pass on her waist. That was it? Getting stuck with the new disciples was harsh and a task more fit to her shimeis and shidis, her schedule as a head disciple already busy as it was. But… Teaching the kids, research on codes and… Nothing else?

“Also your notebook is mine now,” Ah. There it was. “I will give you another notebook later, but this one stays with me.” Then he twisted her around so she would be facing the door, pushing her all the way out of his office. “Good luck rebuilding your betting poll from scratch, now shoo, I have work to do!”

Then the door was shut with a faint “thud”, leaving her alone with heart fluttering on her chest like a bird that had escaped the claws of a very scary cat. Her hands were so sweaty she had to pat them down on her uniform to not drip it on the floor.

It was fine. She wasn’t dead, it was fine.

If you are alive, you can always start again, wasn't that what Shizun said?

But first she had some research to do.

---------

Can y'all believe this AU has more than 25k words? I never wrote so much for a fandom in my entire life lol

Now, about Shang Qinghua and Ye Ling: He is angry and so proud and so angry is not even funny. Mostly because that little notebook could have put him in a LOT of trouble with a certain demon King 👀 plus, I don't believe Shang Qinghua acts as much as a crying "weak" mess around his students, he has to teach them how to deal with a lot of shit from other peaks, so he lets An Ding disciples take a little peek under his "I'm just a silly guy please don't hurt me I will cry" mask. As a treat.

Ngl, this fic became a little bit of a indulging moment for me, and I had to get out of my comfort zone writing it! But I really hope you all like it <3

I'll post it on Ao3 later after I take a nap lol

10/12 PEAK HERE WE GOOOOOO :D

[prettyinpwn]

Hi! I don't remember if anyone asked this, but do you have any headcanons about Shermie Pines?

Ah, see, this is the part where I totally self-promote share this wonderful, totally not owned by me ask blog reply: https://askthestans.tumblr.com/post/756343677567336448/hey-stan-can-you-tell-us-stories-about-your

But here's a full summary of my headcanons on the guy:

Older brother to Ford and Stan. I know the timeline's screwy with that baby in the background of ATOTS, but I personally just headcanon that that's some other baby and Shermie's not around in the house because he's off in the military.

I definitely picture him being in the Navy. I picture he's got sailor's tattoos. And actual cool ones, no offense to Ford.

I can't find the reference for the life of me, but I swear to God I once read from Hirsch (I think it was a tweet?) that Stan learned the "you cuddle up to a girl, knock her up, suddenly your life's fallin' apart" oddly specific joke in Little Gift Shop of Horrors from Filbrick. Going with my headcanon that Shermie's the older brother, that means he's the oops baby.

Because of that, and Filbrick's general suckage, Shermie struggled a lot with his dad like the Stans did. I think like Stan, he wasn't especially exceptional - or at least in a way that could make them money like Ford's brains - and Filbrick might have projected a whole "my life fell apart after I had Shermie" thing on the poor guy. So... I don't imagine Shermie got along real well with Filbrick. I also headcanon the large gap in years between Shermie and the Stans as Filbrick's hesitation to have more kids. I think Caryn would have wanted more, and eventually convinced him to have another (and whaddaya know, two for the price of one!), but Filbrick all over just gives me the vibe of a guy that never wanted to be a father, and Shermie knew that even as a kid, so he felt rather unwanted.

In terms of personality, I see Shermie as like... a straight laced golden retriever. Like a pure heart of gold "sees an old lady struggling to walk across the street and gets out and helps her" type guy. Being Mabel and Dipper's grandfather, I think he shares Mabel's optimism but Dipper's sense of right and wrong, which is what makes him a bit of a square (see the Ask the Stans post linked above). Even so, he's not outgoing like Mabel, he's introverted like Ford and Dipper. Like... people picture introverts as moody and quiet with dark thoughts, but when Shermie's quiet he just has happy fantasies like his granddaughter, Mabel (except replace hamster balls and hot boys with, idk... probably baseball or a movie he saw one time and loved).

I see him as a family pillar of support type guy, too. As the older brother in a poor family, I think a lot of responsibility was put on his shoulders. He definitely helped run the pawn shop (though Filbrick got irritated whenever he gave too generous of a discount), and made extra money on the side for his family with a side job. Going into the military was not his choice - given the era, it was probably a draft - and he sent his money home. Caryn probably did Tarot readings on him every night between his letters home hoping they always turned up positive.

He sent little letters home to Stan and Ford, too. He'd make Stan promise to protect Ford for him since he couldn't while he was out at sea, which is what inspired Stan to be such a protector. Then, he made Ford promise to help Stan with his homework like he used to, but once again, couldn't while in the Navy. And he'd tell them about his "epic ocean adventures" to gloss over the horrors of what he was actually going through, which I like to headcanon partially inspired their obsession with fixing up the Stan-O-War so they could have epic ocean adventures someday like their big brother. It wasn't until they were older that they realized, oh... yeah, he wasn't swashbuckling with pirate ghosts in the US Navy. :(

Physically, I think he's the one who looks the most like Caryn. Stan and Ford are like Filbrick short king copy+pastes, but I picture Shermie more tall and lanky like their mother, and has her aquiline nose. Coloring-wise, he's a Pines: brown hair and brown eyes. And sailor tattoos, can't forget those.

I feel like he had to be a pseudo father-figure to the Stans because of Filbrick. Filbrick wasn't the type to teach them how to ride a bike or play a sport, scare "monsters" out of their closet, bring them home for dinner from the beach, etc. Like he fulfilled more of the emotional role of a father to them that Filbrick couldn't.

With Stan, I think he played defense for the kid against Filbrick. I don't think Shermie would have directly gotten angry with Filbrick, especially given his golden retriever-ness and the era, but he defended Stan in little ways. Say Stan broke something, Shermie might have stepped in and tried to smooth things over before Filbrick could get angry. But boy oh boy, if he saw anyone else picking on Stan (or Ford, for that matter), better watch out. He might be a golden retriever, but he's still a Pines, so he's got that whole, "Mess with my family and I'll send you to the hospital." thing going on.

With Ford, I think Shermie was like Stan to him, protecting him and generally trying to make him not feel weird for his polydactyly and nerdiness. While on the surface I think Shermie and Stan might have bonded more because they had more shared surface level interests, I think Ford really looked up to Shermie, especially since Shermie was - as an introvert - the closest to Ford in personality in their family. Shermie wholly supported his love of weirdness, even if he didn't understand what the hell he was talking about half the time, and often would go along with him and Stan on monster hunts as kids just to make sure they got home safe, even if he had no interest in the paranormal himself.

As far as flaws, I can see him having inherited Filbrick's temper and absolutely hating himself for it. Like normally he's a sweet, happy-go-lucky guy, but when he blows up he feels like such an ass afterwards because it reminds himself of his father. His golden retriever personality might have been a way of him trying his best to form an identity far, FAR away from Filbrick, so when parts of Filbrick come out, he feels gross. The Stans look the most like Filbrick, but Shermie - for as nice and sweet as he is - inherited more of Filbrick's bad personality traits than they did.

When Stan got kicked out, Shermie was out at sea and their mother hadn't told him about it, feeling awful she'd let Filbrick just kick Stan out. So when he got home, he was like, "Where the hell is Stan?", and Caryn had to tell him. Shermie always blamed himself for not being there to play defense for Stan like he always had in the past, but at the same time, he was P I S S E D that Stan broke Ford's science fair project. And given that Caryn felt guilty and didn't want to speak against Filbrick and Ford's opinions, and Filbrick is a dick, and Ford was still freshly wounded from the whole fight and disappointment... well, he got a biased view of Stan. He felt so betrayed by Stan for decades for having "hurt" Ford and the family. I think this would explain why he wouldn't have gone to Stan's "funeral" later on. Cue him feeling like an asshole after the events of Gravity Falls and Stan and Ford and/or the niblings tell their grandfather what went down the last three decades.

Even so, I think he tried to find Stan afterwards in his drifter grifter years, but to no avail. Stan didn't want Shermie to find him and disappoint him, and all the evidence Shermie did find seemed to prove what Ford and Filbrick said about Stan, so... :(

He worked in the IRS for his career after the Navy. It made Stan barf when he found out. But Shermie just wanted a good old normal family life and a boring job after what he went through in the war.

As for the way he interacts with Dipper and Mabel, just... pure cuteness. Picture the most stereotypical sweethearted grandfather. Stan and Ford are like the cool old relatives, but Shermie is the big softie old relative. He buys Mabel craptons of arts and crafts and knitting supplies for birthdays and holidays, and he buys Dipper whatever paranormal stuff or video games he wants. He fully sees Dipper as like a little Ford and a lot like his own son (D&M's dad), but he loves Mabel too, of course.

If I think of any more, I'll be sure to add them to this post. :D

[soapoet]

what do you need to heal?

oof, you all deserve a hug.

01.

Shufflemancy: SENSITIVE by MOTHICA

your feelings are really potent. you feel like a pressure cooker, constantly ready to burst open. emotions are both your playground and your graveyard, it seems. you feel everything strongly, but there is almost a sense of it never being enough. you yearn for something more, something bigger and better to latch on to. you've probably been accused of being toxic once or twice, and there may be a trail of broken lines of communication behind you as a result. but you have no ill intent. you have so much to give, and all you want is equal returns for your investments. interpersonal relationships especially feel lackluster to you.

here's a storyline that might resonate: you meet someone, platonic or romantic, and sparks fly. you're so invested, they take interest in you, you're each other's favourite person, two peas in a pod, partners in crime, a dynamic duo. every day you pour your heart and soul into this connection, drop the drawbridge and invite them inside your walls to experience you and your world fully. and with every day that goes by, slowly but surely, the honeymoon phase begins to fade. their efforts lessen, even when they say you're their whole world they never seem to find the time, they stop sharing, and feel intruded upon when you inquire and poke around to see what's up. you step back, thinking yeah, alright, i just need to chill, give them space. but that just makes things worse, doesn't it? you end up feeling abandoned and the grief for what the connection once was is agonising. every time you try to rekindle the flames they lash out. you're overwhelming, nosy, obsessive, they feel cornered. oh my god, you're so toxic! and then you fight. you fight for your feelings and the relationship. they just seem to fight you. you tell them they knew what they were getting themselves into. you showed them everything. shared the deepest, darkest corners of your castle. didn't they say that it's okay, that you're perfect as you are, flaws and all, and that they'd never leave? and then they still do.

you're not a monster. you're not trying to lure people in and make their lives miserable. you simply seek companionship. the kind that seems impossible to find these days. you understand that everyone has a life of their own, things to do, and that it's okay to need time and space. what you do have a problem with is the lack of trust. when you drop your armour you need reassurance that it's not in vain and that you are safe. that your vulnerability won't be taken advantage of. you don't want to worry about whether or not you let wolves inside your castle walls. what you need to do is learn a healthy dose of discrimination. really vet the people you let in. take things slowly, and allow things to happen without having to force it. let people come to you. wield your emotions in a constructive way. if you feel like a fraud trying to fit into the whole love and light spiel, then don't force it! you're incredibly powerful. learn the art of transmutation and try to make your emotions work for you instead of against you. it may be easier said than done, but if anyone can do it, it's you.

02.

Shufflemancy: Bridges by ALIKA

stop fooling yourself. you're really making yourself jump through way too many hoops. things don't have to be an obstacle course. there isn't some long, ever-changing list of things that need to happen before what you want can happen. it's like you're running around in a hamster wheel. chasing after what ifs, looking for signs and clues, and when something doesn't align then oops, there you go, right back to the drawing board. reconfiguring things, going back and forth, fine-tuning, undoing, scrapping everything and starting all over. reading your energy feels like i'm walking into a room with crumpled papers all over the floors. and when i look at them, your plans and ideas are so good! why have you cursed yourself into this space of false starts and stagnation?

because your head is full of doubt. your mind is like the static of an old tv screen. there is so much noise, buzzing around and it's so loud you're unable to think straight. there are so many distractions. you're being pulled in so many directions. everywhere except forward. you are so focused on that first step being absolutely flawless that you'll do anything but actually take the damn step. every time you gather yourself and tell yourself alright, it's go-time my dudes, you just stand there, or notice something that you just gotta fix real quick. and before you know it, you're doing all kinds of busy work. anything to make you feel better about not doing what you want to do and feel like you're at least making some contribution toward your dreams.

you heard there would be signs that you're on the right path or that your manifestations are working, and you took that personally. you see a sign, then look for confirmation that the sign really was a sign. then you tell yourself you need to stop actively looking for signs because then you won't recognise the real signs. but uh-oh, what if you were already doing that? does that mean that the sign you noticed was a false flag and you're just delusional and just out there fooling yourself? please give me a sign that— stop. sit down. cut the noise out and just breathe. you really need to start trusting yourself. you have a vision. a path forward. you got shit to do, things to achieve. stop checking the time, the mirror, the skies... just check yourself. still want what you want? great, you got it. have some faith in yourself. refocus your energy and try to stay present. it's okay to get distracted and it's normal to doubt, just don't let the doubts and distractions rule your present moment. the light has been green this whole time, so just go.

03.

Shufflemancy: Trauma by NF

no. that's two letters, but it feels wrong in your mouth, doesn't it? like it's too big or like it'll break something. when we're drowning there is a period known as 'voluntary apnea'. our instinct to not inhale water is stronger than our need to release the buildup of carbon dioxide that occurs when we hold our breath for too long. the brain can cause us to endure the increasing terror and physical pain because of this survival instinct. and it feels like your ability to say no is behind this kind of mental block too. when you do say no to things it almost feels apologetic, and is riddled with apologies and reassurance. you don't want to do this or that, but it's just today, maybe some other time, you'll check your calendar, assure them it's not like you don't care, you're just busy, you gotta go. you'll find any excuse that sounds reasonable when you don't have one. and for what? you don't need to explain yourself. no is a full sentence.

it really feels like you're on the outside looking in. you have a fear of not just missing out, but being left behind. it's like you've convinced yourself that in order to be worthy and good you need to please everybody. maybe in your past you've been betrayed, experienced neglect or really, truly, felt all alone and without support and guidance. so when you're around people you're on your best behaviour. you listen and you are eager to learn. you adopt people's hobbies or otherwise make an effort to be there for them. people come to you for advice, you're a shoulder to cry on, a problem solver, a good time. but when you get overwhelmed, your nerves get the best of you and you need someone to lean on, you feel like you shouldn't burden people. they have better things to do. maybe they wouldn't be able to help anyway, so why bother?

in many ways you feel like a ghost. not quite sure where the influences of other people and life circumstances end and where you begin. your boundaries are so blurry it's no wonder you've accepted so many concepts of yourself that it feels like the hand of cards you were dealt are masks instead of tools. you may need some time in isolation and solitude for a while. not to say farewell to the world and become lonely, but learn to really be with yourself and figure out who you really are and who you want to be. put yourself on the operating table and start carefully removing things that don't serve your well-being. you are whole all within yourself, and i promise that it's all complete and good and worthy of so much love. you don't need to be patchwork quilt made of concepts forced upon you by the world. you're allowed to be yourself and grow in exactly the direction and at the speed that you want. there's room here under the sun for you too.

[serenhoshi]

𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡 𝐎𝐮𝐭

Author's note: I'm back from the dead (finally lmao). A few month ago I got my wisdom teeth out and started writing this, which I just finished (a few months later oops). Hope you'll enjoy!

Seungcheol:

Would be dead serious when it comes to you resting. "Doctor said to rest a lot so you're not moving." Would change the ice on your cheeks and remind you to take your meds when needed. Even if you don't live together he would stay in your appartment, or would take you to his, to keep an eye on you "just in case".

Jeonghan:

His first reaction when he saw you after the removal was to laugh because your cheeks were swollen. Your cheeks eventually got bigger on days 2 and 3 so he mocked you even more and ended up making edits of you as a hamster. Would definitely take 0.5 pics of you and send them to the members.

Joshua:

Would be so, so sweet. Very caring like Seungcheol but less protective maybe? He would come around at your appartment or call you to make sure you're okay and taking your meds and stuff. On the worst days he would surprise you with homemade soup and soft foods to enjoy while watching a movie.

Junhui:

Kinda lost? Like if you come and see him with those ice packs on your swollen cheeks he would be "??? what happened to you??"

Probably never had to remove his so it's like he never knew wisdom teeth existed and taking them out was a thing.

He would be careful around you of course, but don't fully rely on him for medicine reminders because he will just forget.

Hoshi:

A bit like Jun in a way, I think he would forget you cannot eat solid food for a while. Poor Soonyoung would want to susprise you with good food after practice, but you cannot eat it so he'd eat his chicken wings with tears in his eyes while you eat yogurts and soup.

Maybe would try to pinch your cheeks at some point because he just has to, they look so round and pincheable he would not resist. But you pushing him away would eventually give him a hint that it's not the right time to touch your sensitive cheeks.

Wonwoo:

Would give you time to recover alone if needed. Sometimes would send a message to make sure you're alive and doing fine. I imagine him seeing you in person maybe 2 or 3 days after the surgery, and just standing straight while looking at you like "oh, what happened-" but then remembering your wisdom teeth removal and asking you a lot of stuff about it out of curiosity.

Woozi:

Would be your personal guardian of meds and sleep. Like he has his watch or phone at all times to check when you took your last med, and when is the time to take the next one, so that you don't take too much and hurt your stomach. Would order all kinds of soup and eat them with you, you didn't ask him, but he felt like living this suffering of soft foods with you so you don't feel alone.

Mingyu:

A bit like Woozi and Seungcheol; he'd always be around and check on you and the time you took your meds. Would change the ice packs on your cheeks even while you sleep so you don't have to. He'd make soups and soft foods himself and THEY'RE SO GOOD. He would make the food suffering a lot more bearable with his cooking skills!!

The8:

I think he'd mock you a bit on the 2nd or 3rd days because of your swollen hamster cheeks, but once they started healing he'd worry because of the bruises you would develop on the said cheeks. He'd force you go back to the dentist because "it's not normal to have blue cheeks when healing" and "people will think I'm hurting you." He'd eventually feel silly once the dentist told him it was normal and part of the healing process.

Dokyeom:

He'd be honestly always so confused, Google search would be his best friend. Before and after the removal, he'd look up many informations to make sure he would be able to help you. Examples of his research: "how long before eating solids after wisdom teeth removal"; "do the stitches fall off by themselves wisdom teeth removal"; "how to prevent cheeks swelling wisdom teeth removal."

Vernon:

I feel like he'd be chill about it, not as dramatic as Seungcheol but also more informed than The8 ou Dokyeom. If you have any questions he'll look it up or ask around him to help you out. He'd message you a bit more often to make sure you slept well enough or you ate at least a little. The kind to give you the space you want afterwards.

Seungkwan:

He'd try to contain his laugh but honestly it would be so hard after seeing your swollen face. He'd look away, hand on his mouth and would say stuff like "oh I'll never forget that face"; "I feel so bad but it's just too funny." He'd visually avoid you for a bit and then would help you in your healing journey.

Dino:

He'd be a mix of everyone I think, sometimes he'd laugh a bit at your face, then would help you with the medicine and force you to bed, then would order soup (and even make some himself- which I would not recommend- but at least he tried!). Definitely the type to facetime you when away one evening and burst out laughing at your swollen face appearing on the screen. This shithead.

[rainofaugustsith]

Feeling feels about the SWTOR "If you didn't log in, you're losing your name" bullshit. One thing, giving this only about a year's grace period is pretty sus IMHO especially when one considers the amount of disasters happening, longterm illness, deployments, wars, etc. happening. I feel like they should have given this a grace period of a bit longer.

Am I going to play SWTOR again? Not incredibly likely given that the way the story has gone since 6.0 - the Alliance Commander being reverted to a faction lackey with all progress completely lost - does not sit well with me. One of the reasons I have mostly fallen out of love with Star Wars is that unlike the first three OG films, it seems like a fucking hamster wheel nobody ever escapes. For millennia after millennia, the same exact bullshit, or variations thereof, with a very stark, narrow and dogmatic worldview and "this side evil! This side good" simplistic perspective that is entirely grating. They never learn. They never move on. Any of them. One of the reasons I loved SWTOR up through KOTET is that it seemed like they escaped that hamster wheel, that there were broadened perspectives and "gee, it looks like there are good and evil people everywhere in the galaxy, and maybe we shouldn't write off entire planets and spiritual expressions as evil, and how can we build bridges to go beyond what we have now?" sentiments and stories. And then they did the traitor arc and oops, here we are again on the same treadmill. Having said that I poured so many hours into Viri, and so many into my other alts there, and built up such a world for them, and spent so many hundreds of dollars on years of subscription, that their names mean something to me. I also worry that since I have the Rain Plays SWTOR page, which still does get read and referenced, that if someone sees a character running around with one of my names that does awful shit it will reverb back on me by name association. ...which is why I'm downloading a 51GB game so I can log in for two minutes to save Viri's names. I haven't even played since 7.0 drops so I assume I'm going to find her abilities bar gutted and also have to pick fighting styles for her (I don't give a damn; all my Jedi are getting the Sith equivalents and all my Sith are just getting whatever is the other DPS in their own home class). Ah well. Just dropping in to say hi, putting Viri and Lana back in their house if needed (the Alderaan stronghold has a tendency to not leave people where you put them) and dropping out again. But I feel like it might be nice to say hi to these two for a few minutes. This is where I left them.

[dub88dab44]

I finally caught up with season 10 and I have some thoughts. This might be an unpopular opinion, but.....

I really like this season! I originally stopped playing after the first volume cause I created a sweetheart of a character, and that just wasn't working. So for the first time since season 1 I decided to wait until I could binge the season (I got impatient, oops) and let me tell you

S10 works so much better when you're playing it as one big story, rather than having the same issues week after week. But as a whole, here are some more specific thoughts:

(under the cut cause this got looong)

First of all, design. I like MC's design. We've come a long way since whatever that s5/s6 MC mess was. I understand that Fusebox, in order to make this game work, has to prioritize. And keeping essentially the same MC sprite over multiple seasons for the sake of the other characters' designs seems reasonable to me

Speaking of: For the most part the other characters' designs look great! They actually look like real people to me the obvious exceptions being Sophia (why... just why?) and kinda Franki (idk, she looks odd to me) and sorry Hayden (why does he have a hamster mouth)

Moving on to plot: I actually like that we don't couple up with someone straightaway! This plot point is a big one where being aware of it ahead of time helped a lot. I was growing tired of every LI immediately being all in with MC. In past seasons, as soon as you couple up, every LI just turned into the same lovesick mush. Let us work for people's affections!

This also allows for actual character building. I feel like I actually know Ethan, Milo, Hayden, and all the others. Characters having their own consistent personality? Unheard of since s4! I refuse to acknowledge s5 You have to make the coding work somehow and I feel like this is a smart way of doing it and stopping the personalities from melting into each other without doing a forced couple à la Miles/Jasper from s1. If a season wants to draw me in, distinct personalities is one of the most important factors to me.

Jesse!!! That's all.

No but seriously. Jesse is (so far) what Nicky/Seb from s3 was supposed to be. I have been craving a character like Jesse!! A male best friend whom you can genuinely come to for what would otherwise be girl talks. With the option of a friends-to-lovers route but also the option to just hype each other up!

Jesse thinking MC was the cheater during the dirty laundry challenge bc Sophia was spreading lies? Yes please! This is the type of drama that is genuinely important to me. No character, even your faves, are without flaws. This was a genuine fuck up on Jesse's part but I think it's so good for character and relationship building. More drama like this please!

Speaking of characters I love: Lisbeth. First of all, her character design? A+, give whoever did that a raise! Her character? The whole witchy, wanting to live in a overgrown castle, plays in a band and smashed her guitar vibe? A++! Calling her partner a good boy, giving dom-mummy vibes, but also nervous around her crush? Please let me marry her!

Okay hear me out.... I like Sophia as a character. Shitty person! Good character. Because I feel like she makes sense? I've seen many people basically call her cartoonishly evil but I don't think that's true. I think she is just self-absorbed. She genuinely doesn't think about how her actions might affect other people. Not in a fuck-you type of way, it just genuinely doesn't occur to her that when she is happy other people won't be happy for her, or that they might be hurt by the chaos trail she leaves behind. I find that compelling as an antagonistic character, especially since you can choose how sassy or understanding MC is of Sophia's narcissism.

If I were to ever make one of those TikTok hear-me-out cakes, I would put Tristan on it. What can I say, I like a good ratboy! Visually he reminds me of an early Damiano David from Måneskin, and I think that man just fundamentally changed something in my brain chemistry

What I like about the dates is that they are more than I generic "I like you, and I see myself with you and only you, you changed my entire outlook on life, now kiss me". Cause after a while that just gets boring. I feel like we actually get to learn about the LIs on the dates (partially due to them being given actual distinct dialogue!). Please, yes, actually tell me something about yourself! And that boat/snorkeling date? That shit was good!

The challenges have also been really fun so far. I particularly loved the dirty laundry challenge and the fairground (can never go wrong with a blindfolded kissing challenge, and combining that with the tea from the rest of the challenge was a cool thing to do)

Speaking of, the drama is delicious! Genuinely reminds me of s2 (maybe too high of a compliment, but whatever). I feel like we get to be a part of the drama, like how Jesse confide in MC about his feelings and doubts about his couple. I also love the Ethan/Hayden rivalry. And getting to split up a couple? I thought that was a cool new twist although I agree it probably should have come later in the season. I love that as MC, you kind of get to decide how seriously you want to take everyone coming to you with their issues

This is a minor thing, but it makes such a difference to me: Whenever a Thing has happened (date, tea got spilled, announcement, etc.) it's often the boys (lead by Jesse, my heart) who say "let's go for a debrief" FIRST. In past seasons I have been a little frustrated by the constant girls chats, cause like... I might not trust the girls?? Why are you making me do this?? *cough* Amelia *cough* But seeing the boys leave to chat males it so that (a) well, they're busy, might as well go chat to the girls instead of it feeling do forced, and (b) implies an actual bond between the boys - which makes the characters and the world feel more real. Male characters having relationships with each other? Outside of rivalries? What a concept!

I think the gems are well spent. Season 10 still has a bit of an issue with interesting drama only being introduced to you if you spend gems. But that also means that spending gems actually gets you something worth your money. Be it drama, intimate scenes with your LI or an extended scene where you get to clap back - I much prefer this over the alternative aka gem scenes being essentially meaningless (so essentially s5-s7)

I partially created this list because I've grown exhausted with the negativity in this fandom. Sure, there is also a lot to criticise. But despite all I still love litg. We've had unplayable seasons (s5) we've had mid seasons (s6 & s7), but recently we've also had some really good, replayable material (s8 & s9) that rivals the early stuff. And I think that deserves acknowledgement. So I'm gonna be cautiously hopeful for the rest of s10 and the future of litg.

[absolutefilthimsosorry]

Spoilers for DnP Incohearent!!!!

I’m having so much fun trying to solve these that I made a list to keep track! Message if you can help me fill in any I’m missing or if I’ve got any wrong!!!

Also lmk if you see any I’ve missed!! I’m going to keep updating this and have it unrebloggable but you can reblog this post to have a link to it!

These are all gathered from this post and this post so check the notes on those first to try to solve them then look here if you need answers!

Sow march cheer ray = so much cherry

Wee nay urn for uke oye yer tub = we’ve never fucked on youtube?

Ta fold in fig = the golden pig

Feed hay hid eho = vday video

Tat he won ape hit morse him he = daddy want a bit more simmy

Watt ken ice hay = what can I say

North key bus teabag king = naughty busty baking

Fool tie enter nit hobo / fall tie mint her nepo moe / fault aye mint earn are ohm owe/ foul thyme inch hermit hole mold = full time internet homo

Cumin mile aid deed or = come in my ladydoor

Hum hay zinc tan = amazingdan

Elven ower fug sedge own = eleven hour fuck session

An berry moth ribeye adam stir = and every month we buy a hamster

March rest array = Manchester eye

Cyst herding yell = sister daniel

Add a ding teps = editing tips

Cop dubai khaki luna = topped by kakuna

Late eat tore = ladydoor

Half tugger etch two eggs cyst = have the courage to exist

Perish she end wink = Parisian twink

Coal ten big/ goal then pick = golden pig

Cyst ordain yell = sister daniel

Train youth inks = try new things

Gay mean moss/ gain ink mass = gamingmas

Soften need = soft and neat

A wools lied = owl slide

Topper bought them hill = top or bottom Phil

Coat fit firenze = golf with friends???

Few ours pig meow fits = viewers pick my outfits

Read less tar = red lester

Eye eight soup igloo = I ate super glue

Insight youth era too walls = inside you there are two wolves

Mine amy stan = my name is Dan

Clap hella = glabella

Hiss teeth rent = hits different

Eel eyes apron kay kiss = Eliza pancakes

See pram haze ink bra jet = super amazing project

Feels lie yawn = phils lion

Fuel ease snot dawn fair = Phil is not on fire

Jaw shush ear son = josh hutcherson

Ball bull him tour food = bauble in your foot?

Sure eck = shrek

High ate dust = hiatus

Add a dink deps = editing tips

Ga hay shoom air age = gay shoe marriage

Pope eat plate aim = poppy playtime

Eat aches stu = it takes two

Goo gal few ed = google feud

Baze ick lee eye meg ay = basically I’m gay

Ko min yout ti ew = coming out to you

Ender knit subvert grew oop = internet support group

Phylis turn yar a sheen yes = PHIL LESTER YOU’RE A GENIUS

With Audi intern yet wean ed brr wood halve mat = without the internet we never would have met

Gum ban yins drool I’ve = companions through life

Reed sons wide answer flail = reasons why dans a fail

Ewan dam ah some are reed = you and Dan are so married

Denver sis fill/ Denver cis full = Dan vs Phil

Or lawn huffing = all or nothing

Dunk rye core raft = don’t cry craft

Mortal jester roam and thick/ Morph adjust row antic = more than just romantic

So wall how debris poll light = swallow to be polite???

Oar hinge art = orange heart

Foray virgo em = forever home

Chai reel loop/ share real oob = cherry lube

Cad boyd anne = cat boy dan

Far turf ill lip = father philip

Tess lit hen ink = the slittening

Forth house indie rolled or touches = four thousand year old tortoises

Hey moth swish roundup floating = a month without uploading

Jam march let pet tea an farms = Je mange les petit enfants

Day lion howl tour = Dalien Howlter

Ima let all kit = I’m a little kit

Feel pearl lays shell ter = Phil plays shelter

Fewer blue key app ending = viewer spooky happenings

Hell low iam tour reel = hello I am Toriel

Laugh tuh gey mile kuh = left to get milk

Villas eek wreck why vuh = Phil’s secret wife

Footy strain gin said dent = ___ strange incident????

Snow core play sum = snokoplasm

Nope puts cereal sleeping mage innit = no but seriously imagine it

Tear rip pulling flu hence = terrible influence

Jeff why eye aisle hike vague liner = fyi I like vagina

Eggs intense all cry cis = existential crisis

List of contributors

@fletthewreck @dandp @deadandphilgames @manchesterau @thephouseplants @awrfhi @jonsaremembers @rachosaurusrex @dapgolf @dan-whoell @dnphobe @dreamingalto @steveandscraggy @phanbeats @danandfuckingjonlmao @pepper-pastry @yonpote @un-interactive-introvert @spaniel-trowel @sisterdanieldyke @queerdnp @morganadelacour @amid-fandoms @spectral-kitkat @goingpheral @angelzonearth @wdapteo @2009phan @dansevilpianotea

[whattraintracks]

Okay, so we’re doing this 

Intro: 

I’m sorry with the rain and trench coats all I can think about is “The Maltese Hamster”

oop that’s Karai’s voice 

Present Timeline: 

chatting about the latest adventure with the bestie 

and looking at matrices. Donny is STEM goals 

Time Scepter: so whatchu thinking about?

Donatello’s Brain: indecipherable matrix assault

Time Scepter: oh my gosh, please send him anywhere but here quick quick quickquickquick 

hence he was sent to the future of a near timeline as opposed to an entirely alternate reality 

kidding 

hmm so he’s looking into time travel and alternate dimension related calculations

interesting that this got him sent to the future instead of the past like he and April were talking about 

I’ve seen this scene three times now and it is never not funny how Raph arrives just in time to deliver a sick burn 

Lair Ruins: 

the obvious Chekov's gun of the Tunneler is sending me 

largely because I would not have noticed it if I didn’t already know so much about this episode 

also this has video game vibes 

your character just woke up and starts spouting ominous observations about the environment 

Mike sighting! 

ooh spiky nunchaku 

oh my gosh I am so ready for extremely competent adult mutant ninja turtle fight scenes you have no idea 

ahhhhhhh angry Mike hurts so much 

Montage Across the City: 

the music does not have to go this hard but I am in love with it (p.s. still feeling this way post episode, that soundtrack was phenomenal) 

with Mike’s “We were a team! Without you it just didn’t work.” I can see the back and forth of ‘SAINW happened because it was Donny specifically that disappeared’ and ‘actually this would have happened if any of them had disappeared’ 

Rebel HQ: 

Angel name drop! she has commandos!?! get it girl 

Splinter and Casey both believed Don would come back /sobs/ 

I’m sorry is that Baxter Stockman? in the resistance?? 

I mean, of course he’s alive, cockroach man that he is, but in the resistance??? 

and Hun!?!? 

oh my gosh Hun you’re so melodramatic please 

wild to me that Donny shows up, checks the place out, and just says imma fix this and everyone goes along with it 

I have to wonder 

how long have they been waiting for him to do this exact thing that despite three decades of fear and pain and grief and betrayal and anger and everything else they don’t even question him, they just act? 

how long have they been waiting for Donatello to come back with hope and plan that they couldn’t say no? 

Shredder’s Palace: 

thinking about the cut taxidermy plot and Karai’s report is hilarious 

‘hi. yes, master, it’s me. you know that stuffed turtle you have? someone just saw him running around town. yeah he was attacking our men. killer makeover, doesn’t even look dead’ 

wait isn’t there a Leo centric episode in season four called prodigal son? 

and Shredder just called Don the prodigal son.

oh that comparison is going to ruin me 

Shredder's like nope. I've only made it this far with him gone. make him gone again. 

Some Building IDK: 

wow it is on sight between Leo and Raph 

have they been fighting about the same thing for 30 years? good golly. 

how many times has Donny had to separate these two by whacking them with his bo that was clearly well practiced 

ah I see they were saving the questions, concerns, and rising action for Leo and Raph 

newtrauma what nows? some kind of Utrom soldier? welp guess I'll find out (p.s. transcript says Utrominators so did Leo but the cc said neutromenators so I got lost) 

Shredder’s Palace Again: 

oh well done Donatello! very dramatic entrance! excellent presentation! nailed that cheesy heroic one-liner! 

April came! . . . and so did Hun+Baxter 

ouch that did not end well for them 

OH MY HECK WAIT REWIND THE BRAIN IS BRAINING 

Donny and April (normal timeline) were specifically thinking about UNCLE AUGGIE 

who DISAPPEARED 

so Donny got sent to a universe where HE disappeared 

I’ve connected the dots 

okay back to the show 

Mike seems to be taking the lead here and I like that very much 

wait I wanted the fight scenes but I didn’t want this part /sobs/ 

I’m sorry is Karai still trying to pull the old ‘I actually like you guys don’t make me do something I don’t wanna do’ like girl frickin commit already 

noooooooo—wait how did she slash through his shell? you know what, nevermind—oooooooooooooooo!!! 

gahhhhh Raph's death was so much worse. doesn't matter how prepared I was. I was not 

hooray April with the bazooka! but also girl where were you T^T 

“you are the last of your kind, Donatello” oh that’s particularly cruel 

it’s giving ‘alas, poor yorick’ 

holy crap April 

alone in the ruins of Shredder’s throne room surrounded by the bodies of all that’s left of her family and an entire ruined world to rebuild 

geez Don leave her the easy job 

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Mirai Yuhara and Ignihyde

Mirai | Ramshackle | Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia | Staff |

c/w: None!

-------------------

Ortho Shroud

Ortho's like a cute little brother to Mirai

Mirai knows the kid can hold his own

especially since Idia is his #1 protector

but he can't help but to dote on the cute little robo boy

They pull pranks together Ψ( `∀)(∀´ )Ψ

Ortho normally is the ring leader of the two

and Mirai sometimes has been pranked by Ortho instead

They mess with Idia sometimes

It's nothing serious

but it's funny to see his cute hamster face twist with fear

Mirai like to call Ortho Baby Uh-oh, or Baby Oh no

He desn't know why, but he does

Ortho doesn't mind, he answers to it anyways

Ortho plays matchmaker ♡ ～('▽^人)

Mirai didn't realize it at first, but he catches on quickly

Ortho: "Oops, Vil needs me. I'll be back guys!" (◕‿◕)♡ Idia: "W-Wait! Or-Ortho! Don't, don't-" ＼(º □ º l|l)/ *Ortho leaves the two in the labs together* Mirai: "So, you like jazz?" (￣ε￣＠)

Idia Shroud

Mirai is obsessed

not like obsessed obsessed

he just finds Idia awsome

much to Idia chagrin

and fear ＼(º □ º l|l)/

Like flaming hair?

and it's his favorite color?

and he's a gamer?

Mirai was like a moth to a flame 〜〜〜ф 🔥

And ofc they didn't hit it off at first

Idia was actually kinda scared of the blonde

He gave off so much extroverted main chara energy (눈_눈)

he always had a gaggle of people of all walks of life around him

but after a while, Idia realized Mirai wasn't an extrovert

he was just good at masking it

They actually become friends through gaming (˙ω˙)🎮(˙∀˙)🎮

Mirai met him by coincidence over an online game

It was kinda weird to know your new online friend lives a hop, skip, and a jump away

but that didn't stop them at all

and after the first few sessions, they're inseparable

Candy and Energy drink buddies

It's gotten to the point if people see their tags together

they quit

Mirai: "Look! It's GnomeAlone!" (✧ω✧) Idia: "I gotta do it!" (￢‿￢ ) Idia: *types *Hi GnomeAlone in the chat* *GnomeAlone has quit the game* Mirai: *Cackles* Idia: *Cackles*

They are a force to be reckoned with

Idia Shroud - Dating Mirai Yuhara

You would have never guessed they were together

You never see them together on campus

And if they are in the same proximity

They don't interact

But that is until Idia needs help ordering lunch

Idia: *Approaches Mirai lunch table, pulling on his shirt* Mirai: "Idia?" Idia: "I didn't want peppers...." (ಥ﹏ಥ) *gets up with Idia in tow to the lunch counter* "Mirai: "He said he wanted no peppers." (`ー´)

Mirai gives Idia the weirdest pet names

He's his Scrimby, his Scrimbo, his Scrimbly, his Player One

He also calls him Idi, Iya (ee-ya), Iyee (ee-yee), his flame, his moon

When he comes around, Idia calls Mirai his Apollo, like his gamertag

He calls him Freckles, his Sun, his soul, his Player two, and Mimi

It takes a while for Idia to warm up, but Mirai doesn't mind

he'll always wait for Idia

----------------------------------------

I'm back with part Ignihyde! ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝ This one was kinda long, but then again I do love Idia! (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡ I honestly feel Idia would make people quit the moment they see his tag! I happens to me when I play with my three stack with @the-scouts-codex when we play OverWatch lololol ｀;:゛;｀;･(°ε° )

On a side note, I'm really trying not to look at the character bio I did for Mimi. I'm starting to hate it, but I'm trying to tell myself it's okay. (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) I haven't drawn anything for a long while as it is. If you haven't checked that out though, you can see him here! Til next time! (o_ _)ﾉ彡☆

[miupow]

call me wrong but i think that annon meant hybrid reader stray kids would be interested in? i could just be reading it wrong but i think that is why they mentioned the poll result /lh ♡!!!

OH!! oops or… sorry twilight anomie and everyone i have the reading comprehension of a toddler

for kinds of hybrids owner!skz would like..

chan — sweet puppygirl !! teaches her tricks and speaks to her in a sweet voice always calling her his good girl ^^ who’s a good girl?? you are!!

minho — kittygirl ofc !! his little bratty kitten <3

changbin — bunnygirl !! <3 she’s so shy and cute and he just wants to eat her whole ! extremely protective over his little bunny..

hyunjin — puppygirl he spoils rotten,, his perfect princess who walks all over him she can do no wrong

jisung — either a puppygirl or a hamster/mouse maybe? i’m always repping either puppy or kitty sorry

felix — another kittygirl enjoyer hehe,, his shy scaredy cat little kitty who is afraid of everything and always hiding in his arms <3

seungmin — puppy girl ofc <3 wants his pup perfectly trained and obedient. doesn’t like his puppy around the other pupgirls cos they’re spoiled and a bad influence on his girl lol

jeongin — fox girl or bunny girl hehe

[bittersweet-innocence]

(little bits with my characters that run around my head plus with a new OC)

Questionable Therapist: honestly, they are awful to you and yet you sit here and defend them like you have a gun to your head.

Questionable Therapist, shaking his head: did the Barbie movie teach you nothing? They are just Ken, they don’t have a good day unless you do so why have you let them kick you out of your house.

Reader: I thought that it was about romantic partners ignoring your boundaries and forcing you to change your life. Or just not taking no as an answer, like toxic masculinity.

Questionable Therapist: no, it was about friends.

A few months later

Reader: so I started watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Questionable Therapist, staring blankly as he twirls his pencil between his fingers: we need to start putting limits on what you watch.

Questionable Therapist: for example, if you want kids movies, watch Across the Spiderverse. It has a great message about how friends can be and what they can do to you. Or SpongeBob.

Reader: SpongeBob?

Questionable Therapist: I’m convinced that all of SpongeBob’s friends hate him.

~

Reader, trying to use the bathroom as black paws scratch at the door and poke feebly under: …

Reader: Rufus, you’re not coming in here and sitting in my pants while I use the bathroom. Forget it.

Screeching on the other side of the door as Reader shakes their head.

~

Reader: have you seen the SpongeBob Hamilton animatic with Patrick?

Ghost Lover, considering their choices in partner: …

Ghost Lover: no, love, I haven’t.

(He watched over their shoulder in the wall as Reader watched it forty times in a row, tearing up at the AI voice and seriously worried for their health)

~

Reader: Babe, can I ask you about one of your purchases?

Sugarbaby: I thought this arrangement was that you wouldn’t question what I did.

Reader: …you’ve been custom made dildos. I can see the order details.

Sugarbaby, hamster wheeling every memory of meticulously measuring Reader’s junk while they slept, voice cracking: oh? That’s interesting.

~

Princess, playing coy: oops, I’m so clumsy~ perhaps you could carry me, my lord? Help me escape my bumbling feet?

Reader: you just fell into mud and scraped both your knees and your face on rocks. Are you okay?

Princess with tears in her eyes: please just pick me up.

~

(As a bonus)

Ghost Lover, making Reader seek out therapy for their addiction to SpongeBob Hamilton: I heard this therapist is good.

Reader: if you say so. Maybe some grief counselling could help me.

Ghost Lover: I wish you were talking about me and not SpongeBob dying in Hamilton.

Questionable Therapist, stepping out of his office: okay, hello new patient, I’m very excited to start our session. Come on in.

Ghost Lover, recoiling like a rabid raccoon: oh hell no, this man has twelve bodies buried in his backyard and he has a bigger dick than me, I can feel it.