Please No
You can't sleep and seek company in your misery through your best friend. However he's not at home.
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Request Rules
OH MY GOSH IM NOT DEAD! In all honesty I haven't been super motivated lately but I started this personal project a LOOOOOOONG time ago and felt I couldn't move on to other requests before I finished it. When I started this I felt really inspired to make it solely because I feel there is simply not enough Donatello fluff in this world, especially in 03' and 12' s case. So I hope you like it!
2012 Donnie x reader
Aged up, all characters are college/older adult age, depends on how you want to read it.
Fluff, slightly angst if you really want it to be there
Fem reader
Sleeping was always a struggle for you. Logically you knew you needed sleep, physically you felt tired, but mentally you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. Your body hated the idea and actually laying down and sleeping, so you went to the only person you KNEW would be up right now.
Casey Jones.
He was annoying when you first met him be he was chill enough that he grew on you pretty quickly. Not to mention that if it weren't for him you wouldn't have met your now boyfriend. You always enjoyed spending time with Donnie but trying to pin him down was hard especially since you didn't know where he lived. He didn't want you to meet his brothers just yet, says he wants time to adjust to your guys relationship before being teased. Which, fair. SO! To Casey's you went. You two usually met up at grueling times of the night so it was customary to clime up each other's fire escapes and practically break into the other person's house. You'd either scare each other awake or find the other sitting in their kitchen shoveling cereal into their mouth watching conspiracies on YouTube.
Tonight though, nothing. Like the dude up and vanished. You checked the kitchen and his room. You even went as far as to check the bathroom. THAT WAS HIS WHOLE APARTMENT! Did he have just as an abhorrent sleep schedule as you? Yes, but he never left the house to make it a strangers problem. So to ease your nerves you decided to call him, if that doesn't work, your gonna pray Donnie is awake enough to answer the phone.
One ring. Two ring. Third ring...
"This is THE Casey Jones." You breathed out a sigh of relief. He isn't kidnapped, dead, or lying in a ditch high of weed somewhere.
"Hey man, just dropped by your place, where you at?"
"Oooooh, one of those nights huh?"
"Isn't it always?"
"heh, I feel ya. Here I'll text you my location so we can chill." after that you heard talking from the other side of the phone. Someone that wasn't Casey. But before you could ask any questions Casey quickly responded to whatever it was that they said.
"SHUT UP! ILL KICK YOUR BUTT INTO NEXT WEEK, BUD!" ending with extra sass on the 'bud'.
That's when you got his text. Perfect!
---
Orrrr not. You swear you followed the directions exactly, so why are you standing in the middle of an alleyway being told to go forward when THERE IS NO FORWARD! Being the reasonable person you are you blamed it all on Casey and let him know of your little predicament.
And, 'wait there, just a sec was his reply.' You didn't think Casey would be the kind of person to plot someone else's demise. Not that he he hasn't caused someone else's demise, he just doesn't have the forethought to think ahead about it. However this whole, standing in an alley in New York at 2 am alone, is really starting to feel like a plot.
Once again, your nerves started rising. You looked around the old bricks, worn with water damage and scraping and covered in graffiti. The dark distorted your surroundings making it unclear if you were really alone in that alley or not. The stench of the trash bags shoved as close to the corners and walls as possible started to get to you. Your breathing got a little heavier. The ominous lighting from the street lamp didn't help either. Then a sound rose above the scampering feet of rats. You turn to see the man hole cover slowly scrap along the concrete as a large gloved hand shoved it away. The darkness of the alley clouded the figure and with the covering gone the hole left seemed like a endless pool of inky nothingness. You were stiff as a board and you could hear your heart thrashing in your ears. This is it. This is where you die and it's all Casey Jones's fault.
"Hey you did make it! Nice!"
Your threw a scrapped can square at his face.
"Ow!"
"CASEY! YOU SCARED ME!"
"Yo chill! I told you I was coming to get you!"
"YOU TOLD ME TO WAIT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FRICK YOU WERE DOING! GOSH CASEY! WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING DOWN THERE!?"
"Hehe, come on. I'll show you," he winked at you before gesturing you to enter into the manhole first.
"No."
"Oh come on! Don't you trust me?"
"NO! Also gross. I'm not going down there just for the heck of it Casey. I have never been curious what New Yorks sewer system looks like."
"It's not about the sewers! We just have to walk through the system to get to the place," he told you mildly annoyed.
"And your purposely being suspicious about 'the place', because?"
"Because that's a surprise,"
"Oh joy. I just love surprises at 2 in the freaking morning, in the sewers, wearing my pajamas," you snarked as you lowered yourself down the manhole scowling slightly.
Casey led you through the sewers keeping a brisk pace. You asked him about the voice you hear over the phone earlier and all he told you was that it was part of the surprise. To which you rolled your eyes.
"You seem pretty confident on where your walking," you remarked.
"Well I sure hope so!" he laughed to himself, "I've only been coming here since highschool."
Him saying that struck a possible idea of what his "surprise" could be. But you couldn't be sure.
You initially met Casey in college. Not that he went to collage, he just crashed a class that you shared with his friend. He called her red, talked about her a lot too. You didn't really know her outside of that one class. It felt strange to know so many details about someone you've never talked to. He did mention that she was Donnies first crush but Donnie never talked about her though so you didn't really care much for that detail.
You knew that Casey had known Donnie, his brothers, and "red" since high school. He told you about their adventures all the time. Sometimes it made you feel a little disconnected, especially since the only people you ever knew from the group were Donnie and Casey. But you tried not to let that feeling get to you. It would simply take time. Besides, even if you're newer and don't know the whole group, neither Donnie or Casey ever made you feel like you weren't a part.
The thing is though, is that Casey only mentioned highschool when talking about the turtles. So while it is a loose assumption, you had an idea of what he might be planning. Part of you really hoped it wasn't what you were thinking. The other part really REALLY wanted it to be what you thought. But the majority part was to tired to care and just wanted something to do.
After a short walk you noticed the sewer transition into an abandoned subway station. That's when you heard the sounds of videogames and people. The smell of pizza lingered in the air the closer you walked to the sound. Eventually you got to the part of the station where lights lit up the dark space.
When you got to the entrance, you saw two turtles playing videogames. Pizza boxes littered the floor, some of them containing pizza, some completely empty. You were a little stunned honestly. Donnie had a genuine reason for not introducing you to his family, you didn't want to cross that line. But at the same time, you really needed a brain rotting distraction. You hesitated. But when Casey gestured you to go first through the turnstile first, that hesitation crumbled. You just wanted some pizza, was that so wrong? I mean you were already here, might as well just commit. You and Casey passed through and neither of the brothers tired to look at you. The one in red acknowledge the sound by saying,
"Welcome back Case."
"What didja need to do that you left so fast brah?" Asked the orange one.
"My best bud needed A.M. pizza, so I figured here would be the best place for her to get some," Casey told them patting your back before taking his seat next to the orange brother and picking up an abandoned controller. You followed, feeling out of place, you sat beside him.
This got reds attention.
"I'm sorry, she?" He paused the game to look over at you.
"WHAT?! CASEY WHO THE HECK IS SHE?? YOU CAN'T JUST BRING RANDOM PEOPLE DOWN HERE!"
"Dude chill out! First of all, shes not random, she's y/n," reds eye twitched, "Secondly, it's no biggie, she already knows Donnie, she's no snitch."
You smacked Casey's arm and shook your head.
"Hey! your already here aren't you?" he whined at you.
"Wait, how do you already know Donnie?" orange finally spoke up.
"Yeah, who are you anyways?" red questioned you.
"I-um. Hi, I'm y/n" you stiffly introduced.
You felt very awkward about this whole situation.
"And you know Don, how?" red reiterated impatiently.
You decided to play dumb.
"What do you mean?"
"How do you know Donnie?! Oh my gosh are you dumb?!"
"No, I get what you asked, but in what way?"
"THE FRICK DO YOU MEAN 'IN WHAT WAY?' HOW DO YOU KNOW MY BROTHER?!"
You both went back and forth like that for a while. Little did you know that this was Casey's plan all along. He had talked to Donnie about introducing you the family but he always said it "wasn't the right time". You and Donnie had been dating for almost a year now and had known each other even longer. Yet his brothers had yet to know you even existed! Knowing you, you wouldn't push the issue because you didn't want to pressure your poor boyfriend. You were under the false pretence that he would come around eventually. The truth is, he wouldn't. And it wasn't because of his brothers teasing.
They would still tease him yes, but they've grown, they know the line. The real reason Donnie hadn't introduced you was because one; he wanted you to himself. And two, the biggest reason; he was embarrassed of where he lived. Yes his home was cleanly and all but it was still a sewer. It had taken a long time for him to begin to believe that you actually thought he was attractive and not some kind of monster. Living in the sewer though? What if that breaks your entire image of him? What if you think he really is some slimy gross sewer monster after? He couldn't bear the thought. After being with you for so long, he doesn't think he could live without you.
It took a lot of nagging but when Casey finally broke him and that was the explanation he gave? Casey was so done. So he took matters into his own hands. He waited for the opportunity to present itself and tonight was the night.
"Dudes!" orange interjected, "Chillll. Ever consider that maybe she won't say cuz we haven't introduced ourselves yet?? Hmmmmmmmmm?"
He chewed red out. Red just scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"Hi, I'm Mikey, and that grump is Raph," he told you, "He's been awake too long, he gets fussy without his nap."
You giggled at this, but before you could say anything back Raph had tackled Mikey to the floor. As they rustled you made a small laugh.
"What is going on in here so late?" you heard someone say from behind you. You turned to where it was coming from and saw the third brother you had yet to meet. Blue.
Before he could say anything to Raph or Mikey though, he made eye contact with you.
"Who are you?"
"This is my best bud y/n. Y/n, the fearless leader Leo," Casey introduced.
"Don't call me that Casey," he told him sternly. He walked over to you guys and took a seat in the other side of you.
"You know Case, if I wasn't half asleep I'd be way more upset about you bringing a stranger to the lair."
"She's not a stranger though, she's known Donnie for a while now. Besides we already got yelled at enough by Raph," Casey told him.
He humm and nodded in a 'that makes sense type' of way.
"So you've know Donnie for a while?" he asked.
You felt like could tell Leo just as much as you could tell Raph. Which was nothing. But you felt like Leo would be more receptive to a reasonable answer then Raph was.
"I'd tell you, but I'm not at liberty to say right now," you said.
"That's not suspicious at all," he teased.
"Hey!" you laughed at him and he laughed back.
Casey elbowed you and smiled proudly. He acted like he deserved a thank you for introducing you to your boyfriends family behind his back. All you did was elbow him in the ribs. That was he really deserved. You would be lying though if you said it wasn't an oddly fun situation.
That's when Raph had pinned Mikey and he started screaming.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I COULDN'T HEAR YOUR BEFORE?!" Raph yelled at him with this hands pushing Mikey's head to the floor.
"AAAAAAAAA!!" was all Mikey said him response.
Leo sighed next to you, "I guess I'll be taking care of that."
Before he could make a move though, you heard a familiar voice.
"What is going on out here?! I can't work with all this RACKET!" Donnie grumply shouted.
He stopped right in his tracks when he saw you though.
The only time you had seen Donnie that worked up was when an experiment failed or his brothers got on his nerves. Even then though, it was just venting after the fact, so you never witnessed the brunt of his frustrations. Safe to say you were a little startled, not put off or anything, just surprised mostly.
"Y- y- y- y Y/N?! What in Earth are you doing here?? At this hour? Here? I- ??" he was completely flabbergasted and udderly mortified.
He looked a mess, bags under his eyes, mask lazily pushed above his eyes, and not to mention yelling like an angry old man! Oh nononono. It was bad enough you were in his sewer home, there's no way you don't think his a monster now!
"Would you look at that, guess you did know Don after all," Raph said, head in hand while an elbow laid on Mikey's head.
You turned back to Raph, "Why would I lie about that?!"
This boy was unbelievable.
"Raph get off Mikey," Leo told him.
"Not until he says it!"
"Really Raph? I though you stopped doing that when we were teens."
Deciding that you needn't be involved in that conversation, you turned back to Donnie who had a horrified expression on his face.
"H- how long have you been down here?" he asked quietly.
"Not super long, Casey and I only got here like, a few minutes ago," you answered him.
Donnie took a deep breath, he looked like he was about to loose it. You didn't blame him honestly.
"You. Brought. Her. Here?!" he asked Casey. Clearly hanging by the thread of his last nerve.
"Yeah, s'not like you ever would have, so I took matters into my own hands. Besides she's my friend just as much as she's your girlfriend, I have a right to introduce her to my closest buds."
"Wait. Did you just say, girlfriend?" Mikey asked. Leo was helping him off the floor with a displeased Raph standing to the side. They all froze after Casey's statement and started at you and Donnie with wide eyes.
"JONES!" you both yelled at him in unison.
"What? They were gonna haft'a know eventually, I just got the awkward part out of the way for you," he shrugged and winked at you both.
You were gonna kill him. And by the looks of it Donnie and you were on the same page.
You pinched the bridge of your nose and let out a sigh.
"Okay, I think Donnie and I need to have a private conversation. When we're done we'll clear everything up with you all. Okay?"
"That sounds good," Leo nodded while everyone else complained.
You turned to Donnie signaling to lead the way to wherever you two could have some alone time. He seemed nervous and jittery, but led you none the less. He let you in first through a big sliding door that opened up into what seemed to be a garage. It had tables with tools and other electronic equipment strewn around. There were chemistry supplies as well along with some posters in the walls.
"So," Donnie started, fixing his gaze on the floor, "you wanted to talk?" He adjusted his mask to fit back over his eyes.
"Uh, yeah," you answered. Why was the air so thick all of a sudden? Donnie was so closed in on himself it was almost like he was afraid of you. Honestly, you wanted to ask him why Casey said he would never take you down here. But now wasn't the time for that.
"What do you want to do now? I know you wanted to introduce me on your own terms but now that that's not really a possibility. So where do you wanna go from here?" You asked.
You figured it would best to have a game plan before explaining everything to his brothers.
"I understan- Wait what?" He looked at you confused.
"Uuhhh, where do you want to go from here? Ya know, now that your brothers know?" You repeated yourself. Now you were confused.
"I. Wha. That's all you have to say?" Donnie said mouth agape, shocked.
"What? I mean, about this situation yeah? I mean, I am curious why Casey felt the need to do this but that's not really my first priority right now. Am- am I missing something here?" You asked him.
"I- I thought... I live in a sewer," he told you.
"You thought you lived in a sewer?" Your confusion increasing, "Like. You didn't know?"
"No! I know that! I just... you don't care?"
"Why would I care? I'm sorry," you put a hand to your forehead, "did you think I would judge you for your living conditions? Which are honestly pretty cush. Who do you take me fore Don?!"
"I! Well it's not that I thought you would judge me, it's just... I'm a mutant. Living in the sewers just- I don't know. The only things you think of living in the sewers are creepy gross monsters or rodents. On top of that it's the sewers! Most people find that pretty gross."
"Donnie. We've known each other for longer then a year. If I was disgusted by you, you would know by now," you spoke dryly.
"All this time I thought you just needed to get used to things. But you were just assuming the worst about me? What the heck Donnie?" You were hurt. You loved him so much, and he thought you would leave him because of where he lives? He really thought you were that judgemental?
"What?! No! I wasn't assuming the worst about you! I was just afraid you'd realize you deserve better than me!"
"BUT YOU'RE ALL I WANT!"
He stopped and looked at you, eyes wide.
"Really?"
"Yes! And I hate it when you talk like you're not deserving of love just because you're mutant."
"I just... I just don't see what you see in me," he admitted.
"Then stop assuming things and closing yourself off. Talk to your family, talk to your friends, talk to me. I never worry about whether or not you love me, you've seen me at my worst and never left my side. You're so scared of how I'll react to your worst you never even give me a chance to show you," you grabbed his hand and looked him in the eye.
"You don't get to decide how I feel or what I think, only I do."
"You're right, I'm sorry. Sorry for assuming things, things about you, and for taking so long to introduce you."
You kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you," you smiled at him. Then pinched his neck and pulled him to you.
"Ow ow ow ow!"
"And never do that again," you let him go.
"Yes of course absolutely never again," he nodded and smiled at you. You smiled back and patted his chest.
"Now before we continue the conversation of how to approach your family, I feel like we should address the eavesdroppers in the room," you said pulling back the door all the way. It was already cracked open to allow the peepers better visuals for your conversation.
As it slid open you noticed Casey and the three brothers trying to run away from the door.
"What! Guys! What part of private conversation do you not understand?!" Donnie yelled at them.
"I told you guys you shouldn't have done that," Leo scolded them.
"YOU LITERALLY JOINED RIGHT AFTER SAYING THAT!" Raph pointed an accusatory finger at him, "AND FOR THE RECORD IT WAS MIKEY'S IDEA!" He yelled moving his pointing to the youngest.
"Wow dude, I thought we were in this together," Mikey put a hand on his chest hurt.
"Well in the end it doesn't matter cuz it already happened right?" Casey shrugged and took a seat on the couch again.
Out of everyone here you and Donnie were most ticked at Casey.
Both you and Donnie approached him from behind and grabbed one of his shoulders.
"W-what? Uhhh. You dudes need something? Eh heh..." he stuttered nervous. Only just now did he realize the hole he had dug for himself.
"Why don't we have a chat Casey," you smiled but it was less of a question and more of a statement.
"Privately," Donnie finished, no smile to be found.
You both were gonna have fun with this. Then Donnie could take you home and tuck you in. What a great boyfriend girlfriend bonding activity!
------------------------------------------------------------Listen y'all, I know Google maps don't work like this, but just for the sake of plot pretend like it does.
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want me some yara and ace too
💘💘💘
Ask, and ye shall receive!! Here you are, dear Anon!! <3 This prompt ended up working really well with another one, so this is technically part 1 of 2!
Part 2 here!
💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss
“Alright, Fire Fist,” Haruta said, turning his attention to the young man in question. “You’re up next. Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” Leaning back with his hands locked behind his head, Ace flashed the surrounding group his most cocky grin. “And don’t make it a lame one, either. Do your worst; I can handle it.”
The participating Whitebeard Pirates let out a collective “oooooh!!”
“Don’t let your mouth write cheques you can’t cash, Ace!” Thatch said with a chuckle.
“Oh, c’mon. How bad could it be?” Ace replied with a shrug. “Last time, I literally ate something that Teach licked. It can’t get worse than that.”
“Hmm…” Haruta’s brows puzzled together, seeming to take Ace’s words as a challenge. He tapped a finger against his chin, deep in thought. Suddenly, his expression lit up. “Wait! I’ve got it.” A smirk rose to the Twelfth Division Commander’s lips. “Ace… I think I’ve found your one weakness.”
“Weakness?” Ace laughed confidently. “What, you want me to jump into the ocean? Cuz one of you’s gonna have to go pull me out.”
“No, no. This is far more dangerous than that.” A wicked glint flashed through Haruta’s eyes. “I dare you… to kiss Yara.”
Ace’s grin immediately vanished, heat flaring to his cheeks. His entire body suddenly felt as if it was burning; a sensation entirely unlike using his Devil Fruit. Those flames he could own; could control as if they were mere extensions of himself, bending to his whim. No, this heat was unpredictable and all-consuming, threatening to swallow him whole and leave nothing but a shattered heart amidst a pile of ashes. He wasn’t sure if there was anything that could actually burn fire, but if there was, he was certain it would feel something like this.
The chorus of “oooohs!!” only crescendoed, compounded by raucous laughter, the other pirates immensely enjoying the Second Division Commander’s discomfort.
Ace laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “Okay. Ha ha. Very funny. Now give me a real dare.”
But Haruta’s eyes only narrowed. “That was it,” he stated, crossing his arms. “Kiss Yara. I’m dead serious.”
“C’mon, Ace!!” Curiel shouted. “You said you’d do anything!!”
“Yeah!” Jiru grinned. “Give her a kiss already; we know you’ve been dying to!!”
A pit opened in Ace’s stomach as he came to the realization that the other Division Commanders weren’t going to simply let up. But for Yara’s sake… He shook his head emphatically. “Guys, no. That’s not fair. I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
The familiar voice grabbed his attention. Butterflies burst into his stomach as his gaze met the beautiful heterochromatic eyes that belonged to none other than the object of his affection. Yara sat down on a deck chair across from him, having just returned from refilling her mug. She balanced it on her lap, crossing one of her long, slender legs over the other.
“It’s-- I-- Because…” he stammered, his face going even redder. “I just-- I can’t.”
Yara merely stared back at him, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s only a game, Ace. I don’t mind.” Taking a sip of her beverage, she placed it down on the ground next to her.
“Do it!!” Blamenco egged him on.
Ace desperately turned to Marco for help, hoping that the level-headed First Division Commander would put him out of his misery, but Marco’s lips twitched into an amused smile instead. “What’re you waiting for? She said she’s okay with it, yoi.”
The crowd was full-on chanting now. “Kiss her!! Kiss her!! Kiss her!!”
Ace sighed. He was doomed either way. Shakily, he stood up, trying to ignore the cheers as he made his way across the deck and knelt down in front of her. His palms began to sweat, small licks of fire bursting off of his body.
“Oooh, someone’s nervous!!” Thatch teased.
“Shut it!” Ace snapped at him before turning his gaze towards Yara.
He swallowed, his stomach twisting into knots. She really was the picture of loveliness, her long violet hair swept over her shoulder, golden hoop earrings glinting in the evening light. Her eyes-- one deep chocolate brown, the other ringed gold and piercing, like a hawk’s-- met his. The weight of those three words he’d been wanting to say to her since forever rested uncomfortably on the tip of his tongue, his heartbeat thumping hard and fast, as if it would burst through his ribcage at any second. But perhaps it would be fine if it did. It belonged to her, anyway.
Ace began to lean in, the intoxicating scent of her vanilla lotion overwhelming him, his mind going hazy. Yara paralleled his movements, her head tilting at a slight angle. His hand rose, cradling the side of her face, his fingers tracing her jawline. Their noses brushed against each other as his eyes fluttered shut. The warmth of her breath ghosted against his lips, flooding his senses with desire.
Yara…
You have no idea how much you mean to me…
How long I’ve wanted you…
But…
He stopped, his breath hitching.
No. Not like this.
Ace’s eyes opened. Gently turning her head, he leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek.
Boos rang out from the crowd as he pulled away, stepping back to give Yara her space. Surprise flickered across her face as her hand rose to her cheek, lightly touching where he had given her the kiss.
“C’mon, do it properly!!”
“Don’t chicken out!!”
“Hey, the dare was just to kiss her!” Ace snapped at them, picking up a balled-up napkin someone had tossed at him and throwing it right back into the crowd. “Haruta didn’t specify where!!”
He turned back to Yara, giving her a lopsided grin. “Sorry about that. I know they suck.”
But the look on Yara’s face was not one of relief; instead, he could’ve sworn he saw hurt flash through her eyes.
Her expression quickly hardened. “It’s fine,” she said coldly. “I’ve had enough of this childish game, anyways.”
Ace’s heart sank as she grabbed her beer and strode away, heading for the living quarters. Had he really made her so uncomfortable, just with a kiss on the cheek? Or was there something else? His shoulders drooping, he made his way back over to his spot and plopped down next to Marco. He had decided long ago to live without regret, but…
Pressing his face into his hands, he let out a massive sigh. What the hell had he just done?
it got sort of angsty there at the end i'm sorry
anyways tagging @auxiliarydetective @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene
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The Extraordinaries As Shit I Heard People Say In High School.
Nick: Are you suggesting we euthanize people?
Owen: I'm not not suggesting that.
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Nick: Can I name his dad John Locke? Is that from anything?
Seth: Please tell me you're kidding.
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Seth: I'm just passionate about things. Including hating Owen.
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Gibby: By Walking Dead Logic, the sexier you are the more likely you are to live. We just have to bimbo-ify Seth and he'll live!
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Gibby: No! See, see Nick can twerk! Not that white-boy moving your back non-sense. That man can shake. his ass. correctly!
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Jazz: Okay. Who has the booty and who has the looty?
Gibby: You're richer than me, so technically you have the looty.
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Seth: You give off scoliosis vibes.
Owen: What the hell does that even mean.
Seth: Figure it out.
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Owen: What's your favorite candy, Gray?
Seth: Circus peanuts.
Owen: You seem like a circus peanuts kind of guy.
Seth: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Owen: obviously. Only psychopaths and supervillains eat circus peanuts.
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Nick: Just because he was gay and did crimes does NOT mean he WANTED to do crimes!
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Owen: Hot take; we could purge the Bill of Rights.
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Nick: Your heterosexuality is currently dormant.
Seth: Wow thanks captain obvious, it's almost like I'm actively kissing a man.
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Nick: It's just logic! Neurodivergents are more likely to be kinky! Otherwise, they'd get bored.
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Seth: You can't talk about Owen Burke--- I'm trying to have a good night.
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Nick: Smash. Smash. Sma---
Jazz: Hard smash.
Gibby: What are you doing?
Nick: Playing Smash Or Pass with the WWII propaganda.
Seth: ... Don't do that.
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Seth: Have you ever like, thought of just pretending to be a good person?
Owen: Is that not what I'm currently doing?
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Seth: There are two wolves inside of me. Twink and Medieval Viking. And sadly, the Viking is always winning.
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Jazz: By the way, Burke is in our fifth period.
Seth: *catholic crosses himself* that's fine.
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Owen: Did you hiss at people as a child?
Nick: Bold of you to assume I don't still hiss at people.
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Seth: why do you hate to see me winning?
Owen: It's not that I hate to see you winning. It's that I love to see you slightly below winning for brief periods of time.
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Seth: Instead of being made with love it was made with the tears of a depressed seventeen-year-old.
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Nick: Billie Eilish is American?
Gibby: Wait, for real? I thought she was British.
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Gibby: Lizzo or gay rights. One has to go.
Nick: sorry gay people. The answer is always Lizzo.
Seth: Nick, you're literally gay.
Jazz: See! This is what I'm talking about! we live in Joe Biden's America, and in Joe Biden's America you cannot proudly proclaim your love for Lizzo! You must support his liberal homosexual agenda.
Gibby: Being a lesbian has only brought misery. Being a Lizbean has made me feel alive.
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Nick: It's like--- y'all are on board games and I took a left turn to Wii sports.
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Nick: Why am I not depressed this year?
Seth: You got medicated.
Nick: Oh yeah...
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Jazz: As demonstrated with Seth and Nick--- the solution to homophobia is gay chicken.
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Gibby: It's kind of like lesbian sex.
Nick: You're telling me this as if I've seen lesbian sex.
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Nick: I played Genshin Impact for four hours yesterday.
Gibby: Is this your mental health awareness statement?
+
Nick: Oooooh ~ lubricants ~
Seth: Those are for a car.
Nick: And ALSO---
Seth: For a car.
+
Jazz: I mean, who would date Owen? It's like, you have no standards.
Nick: Well, I have standards. They're just not very high
+
Owen: how're we doing, gays and gals?
Seth: I'm having an allergic reaction to being in your presence.
+
Seth: I'll eat a breadstick Nick took a bite of. I'm not eating breadstick Nick deepthroated.
Jazz: to be fair, I didn't expect him to actually do it.
Nick: I am nothing if not committed to a bit, Jasmine
+
Nick: Hear me out--- we make a Grindr account.
Gibby: No good plan starts with 'we make a Grindr account;
Nick: fine then! Step one. We fill his house with sulfur monoxide---
Seth: Absolutely not.
+
Seth: A good 40% of the time I think you're flirting with me, you're talking about Shadow Star.
+
Seth: You know, being caressed by tiny hands is not the weirdest thing Nicky's done to me.
Jazz: I'm taking away the tiny hands.
+
Nick: I could make so many sex jokes.
Gibby: Nicky, this play is about racism.
+
Gibby: There's this crunchy Christian vibe in Nova city.
Nick: Crackheads, cops, and Christians are what makes Nova city Nova city.
+
(during a board game)
Nick: What do you mean we can nuke Mars and not face any ecological repercussions? that's definitively not hot nukes work!
Gibby: Well, I'll trade you some slavery for sheep?
Seth: Can we please do something ethical.
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