#oooh ive been feeling badly

[jazzzzzzhands]

Doodling my favorite Welcome Home bug for comfort QwQ

[spaciebabie]

does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.

[fukounaboy]

My brain will not let me watdh the thint and the urges wre badk i just wmt to do things. >:(

[deadtwinksdetectiveagency]

hello!! ive been experimenting with a dark!edwin and dark!charles au but never have been able to get out of my damned writing block and actually put ti to use besides my tumblr rp blog

i'd love to see it put in an actual fic

dark!edwin - based off of him realizing that maybe using spells a little more frequently can get him the results that he and the agency needs. "a good detective does what he must to complete the case" "it's just one spell"

dark!charles - based off of his anger and jealously towards anyone who tries to mess with edwin. it's almost like a yandere situation but he's also just willing to be violent and maybe also cause some deaths. "stay away from edwin" "i'll poison you with the flower you gave edwin"

Oooh, I love this idea! Thanks so much! Hope you like xo Warnings: canon-typical violence, murder, immobility

You murmur in your half-sleep, turning your face away from the light into your pillow. Is it already morning? You feel like you’ve gotten about thirty seconds of sleep, limbs still tired and heavy and—

And—

And immobile?

Your heart catches in your throat. You try and wiggle your fingers, but they’re like marble, rigid and rooted. “H—h—”

“It would appear that our subject is awake at last.”

You turn your head so fast your neck burns. Standing on either side of your bed are two teenage boys, one in a suit and bowtie and the other in a dark red polo. An alarm bell goes off in your mind, and you try and focus even as polo boy passes a whole-ass dagger to bowtie boy.

For a moment, your vision shifts. The world skews, distorting diagonally, but the two boys don’t skew with it. You can see through them, though, and it dawns on you: this is a haunting. You blink, and the world goes back to normal.

“Listen,” you croak, “this doesn’t have to end badly.”

Polo boy grins, and your stomach turns. He’s charming, this one, with his easy smile and mobile expression. His nonchalance is more frightening than the other one’s calculating stare and giant book and the faint magic clinging to his fingertips.

“Don’t worry,” polo boy says. “Just hang in there, and you’ll be fine.” He pats your shoulder, voice dropping to a mock whisper. “Edwin’s gotten real good at this. It should only hurt… a bit.”

“Charles, as much as I appreciate your bedside manner, would you kindly step back?”

Bowtie boy—Edwin—sets his book down on your bedside table. You crane your neck, and you can make out just enough words to make your skin crawl.

Enough.

As Edwin begins to chant, you let out a slow breath and reach deep for the pit of power that spools in your chest. Magic uncurls like a cereus flower at night, flowing through you like a second blood, and as Edwin’s voice rises to a crescendo you bolt upright, hands clamping instinctively around his throat to silence whatever spell he’s casting.

Edwin reaches up and clutches your wrists, eyes wide, sputtering. Dark glee courses through you, and you laugh breathlessly.

“I told you,” you tell him, “this doesn’t have to end ba—”

CRACK.

Your body crumples, and you watch in horror. That’s you, you, sprawled on your bed, blood seeping onto the pillow from the back of your head, eyes glassy, chest unmoving.

You—

What?

Charles drops his cricket bat and vaults over the bed as Edwin peels your spectral, trembling hands from his neck. There’s no sign of your chokehold left, just pale skin. You sit heavily on your bed, dread settling where your power used to be as you stare at the two boys who’ve killed you.

“Hm,” Edwin says. He fixes his collar and fixes you with a sharp glare until Charles grabs his shoulders, brown eyes wide with concern. Edwin’s expression softens at once.

“You okay, mate?” Charles asks. His hand hovers by Edwin’s neck like an uncertain bird until Edwin takes it tenderly.

“Yes, thank you.”

The two of them turn to look at you in eerie tandem. Charles looks like he’d happily murder you again; Edwin just looks disappointed. You don’t bother trying to stand. Whatever they were trying to do, they’ve failed, and there’s no fixing it.

No fixing you.

Somewhere to your left, a blue light starts to glow.

“Time to go,” Charles says, tucking the book and bat into his backpack.

Edwin phases through your closed door, and before he goes, Charles looks at you again with a horrible smug meanness on his face that makes you lean away.

“Go to hell,” he says, and you tremble as he follows Edwin out.

Go to hell?

It’s not a threat.

It’s a promise.

[miiilowo]

I forgot William could juggle omg. Mentally adding that to my silly facts about him.

Sorry for so many asks its like 1am and I'm just like so feral about your interpretation of William. You are are so correct about him all the time and hes such a silly little guy

How do you think William went about the murders? Did he try to be sorta detached from it or did he amp up the villian persona?

Do you imagine the 5 missing children all were killed in one day or over the course of a week? Canon seems to support both options a bit I think , but more leaning towards all at once I think, it's been a bit since I checked

How many murders did your William commit? That tends to vary alot depending on what theories and who you ask.

Oooh how'd he go about luring them? Was it just a simple "hey I have a surprise for you come follow me" or did he gain their trust longer than that or did the SL animatronics do all the work for him. Did he just target random kids or did he have a method for picking them. Speaking of, did he plan at all which animatronics they were going to possess?

How'd he avoid getting caught? Did he?

Hmm lots of murders questions let's go off topic. If he had to own a pet what animal would he prefer. Like he def LOVES rabbits. But hmm, they like, need more work and attention than a cat. And William doesn't seem like he'd be great at that

As a children's entertainer, did he often try to throw fun birthday parties for his kids? Oh hmm, why was Evan having his party at Fredbear's if he's so scared of animatronics? Bc he obviously does care about Evan. Ive personally always interpreted that as like, William being too busy + recovering from the springlocks to like, plan something proper but there's honestly so many ways you could think of the why, so I'd love to hear your interpretation!

HEGHENEGEHEEGEHEHE EHEHEEHE HEGEHE <- likes thinking about the murders a normal amount <- lie <- fraud <- misconstruance <- trickery

i .okay so i.ok. Ok. so. ok. So. Okay. S

i am personally fond of making him as unhinged as possible in that regard. if im going to be obsessed with a cartoonish murderer im going to want him to get fucking silly with it alright im not gonna make him do some boring shit like sedating his victims before killing them or something <- targeted toward the novels

there is a LOOOOOOOT of inconsistency in "canon" sources. (canon in quotations because anything aside from the books is dubiously canon. half of the time i feel like im in the warrior cats fandom again with how people cannot AGREE ON ANYTHING OR REMEMBER INFORMATION) it makes sense for it to be done tastefully considering this is kind of a sensitive topic, being. murder. and all. theres less details about it. however, i have issues and problems and need to know everything about him or else ill DIE. BADLY

while the idea of him doing them all at once has been the agreed upon thing for...pretty much the past eight and a half years, i find the idea of them being one at a time more interesting. going about it strategically and with some level of premeditation makes for good contrast with charlies murder, which was very clearly a crime of passion. by creating more stark contrast between these events, it makes charlies death feel more significant, generally more fucked up, and more ... Out of character, for william. It makes it feel like it really MEANT something, if everyone else's deaths were executed in a way that really shows the difference in motivation/intent :3

i personally think that charlie was the first death, and was motivated by williams envy & resentment regarding henry since shes his daughter. Very heat of the moment, fueled by hatred for her father; swift, i imagine. probably just had a pocket knife in his car or something. i think this event is what makes william realize he enjoys killing; as much as i'd like to paint him in the most pathetic light possible, i can't imagine hed kill children for the sake of feeling powerful. obliterating charlie out of obsessive gay jealousy obviously probably made him feel like he had power over henry, which im sure he adored, but i generally think hes in it for something else.

I refuse to believe anything but the idea that he loves the thrill of it. I make note of this because of how he reacts to being springlocked in the novels, where he was sort of drunk on the pain, and was having far too much fun with it. That, and because he's an entertainer, a performer, he probably enjoys excitement quite a lot. He loves big reveals, he loves drama, he loves reactions! I think that can be applied to the murders as well :3 I've said all this, while leaving out my best supporting piece of evidence, being that, in canon, for Cassidy's death, he kidnapped her and beat her to death. With a shovel. So. Seems a bit over the top. To Me. I dont know. Like if he wasnt. Having fun with it then. Yknow.

My favorite favorite favorite thing about afton is how he just sort of sloooooowly unraveled over time. And even when he DID snap, there was sort of a gradual worsening as time went on; I dont think he WANTED to like killing, but he did! And eventually, he gave in to that desire to get as violent as possible. He stopped caring, and he started to enjoy it, instead of pushing it away.

Its also important to note I do think there was only one missing childrens incident. While I wouldnt put it past william to do it twice just to shut down multiple freddys locations out of spite, there isnt really a lot of evidence to suggest that he killed at the fnaf 2 location; everything that goes on there can be explained by other means we already have.

So, Susie goes first!!!!!!! By this point, I firmly believe that Elizabeth has already died, charlie has obviously already died, and Henry has forbade William from ever setting foot on the premises ever again, but he gets away with it by wearing the spring bonnie suit. Killed her dog, apparently. Prick. Anyways, chica/susie states that she was the first to go and has apparently 'seen everything'. I don't take this as necessarily meaning that he did everything at once, especially since we know he Fucking Kidnapped Cassidy, but i do believe all of them were dragged into that saferoom at some point. oh, yeah, i also think its the saferoom because

not on the cameras

employees only really go in there if theyre literally bleeding out from the springlock suits, and the suits were decommissioned when william used them, meaning no employee would have ANY reason to be in the safe room. the phone guy states the spring bonnie animatronic was 'noticeably moved', then reminds people they arent supposed to be used, which supports me thinking william used the suits when employees werent supposed to use them + means nobody regularly fucks with the suits that ARE in there in the first place if this is a notable event he has to point out

animatronics dont know it exists. not in their programming. what are they gonna do, tell his fucking mom

i dont know why im explaining why the saferoom would be the best option i just see that nobody seems to agree on this for some reason

easier to do it in a room nobody can access rather than dragging them outside while theyre alive and/or concious

makes sense for him to know all this since he used to own the franchise

anyway, he probably didn't have too much trouble getting them back there since he had the suit on, but he also knows what hes doing in general. even if he werent wearing the suit i dont doubt he'd have been able to pull it off. hes a childrens entertainer. probably told them he had candy or cake for them, or some sort of surprise, maybe lied to them and said their mom or dad was in trouble and they needed to follow him, that kind of thing, standard fuckin. kidnapping behavior i guess. as for selecting the victims, picking kids who were kindof off by themselves doing their own thing makes the most sense. i imagine thats the only thought he put into it

while id LOVE for each death to be as bloody as possible, im not sure william could really afford that, given the setting he was in. hard to get too messy when youre in a public establishment; even if it was unlikely anyone would ever come into the saferoom, its probably better to make cleaning up the evidence a relatively easy process. i really. really really really like the idea of him using an axe for some reason? i know it was popularized because of the die in a fire music video, and would not be pertaining to how he killed anybody, but im attached to it got DAMNIT. im kind of contradicting myself because axe murdering is like an inherently messy process but yknow. maybe that was just one of em. it doesnt seem outlandish to me that there could be an axe in the saferoom- Like a fireaxe, yknow? i can imagine him having a knife knocked out of his hands, panicking and grabbing that. thats fun. i like that one

actual timeframe though. ummmmm. definitely not all in one day, but having them be throughout a week seems too long. having kids go missing in One Place over the course of a WEEK feels like it would be giving the place ample time to get shut down briefly. i give him 3 days ABSOLUTE maximum. maybe two.

initially i think he wanted the sister location animatronics to do the work for him, but after liz dies he doesnt wanna deal with them because. grief, and after killing charlie he processes that he doesnt mind getting his hands dirty i guess. so theres that. the sister location animatronics never really got the chance to function how he wanted them to because circus babys pizza world never opened

as for how he didnt get CAUGHT, there just...Wasnt enough evidence to convict him. DNA testing was introduced in 1986, one year after the murders occurred, and i suppose any crime scenes wouldve been wiped clean by the time forensics couldve been involved. It's definitely a situation where a lot of people just KNEW he did it, but it fell flat in a court of law- Henry, of course, would be one of those people who knew. That, and the fact fazbear ent is very scummy when it comes to those sort of things, prioritizing their brand over individual people. Even if Henry knew william did it, he'd probably want to crack down on people continuing to pursue his arrest; itd be bad for the company, after all! having their name attached to this forever? having one of their FOUNDERS attached to it forever? absolutely not. hed know there was no way theyd imprison william, and dragging the ordeal out would just cause damage to the label. henry may be better than william, but he is not a beacon of all that is right and good in the world. remember this forever

anyways um! im a firm believer in the idea he'd have a bunny. i can understand where ur coming from w the 'theyd be too much work to take care of' sentiment, but he had 3 kids, and a bunny is still less work than 3 kids. admittedly, he hated one of them and the other two died, but YKNOW its not like hes a complete stranger to taking care of things. michael lasted a long time. technically was only tangentially williams fault he died. cat would be good too

i do think he'd probably want to plan things for the kids as well, which is demonstrated by evans birthday party. i think at this point in the timeline he was just very, very caught up in his work, as shown by him watching them remotely through the camera system in his house + talking to evan via the fredbear plushie. so generally i agree w you on that, i dont have much to add :]

[badnew2005]

can u explain what clip show/chokes says about dennis’ whole running away/facing reality/holding tight behavior?

oooh this is my fav topic i feel like i’m talking ab the same point over and over again BUT IM NOT GOING TO STOP !!!! i’m assuming this is the post ur referencing and i’m gonna keep using these parameters etc. this is definitely not the best ive ever talked ab this but !! its whats happening rn !!!

there’s a bit at the very end of clip show that has always felt absolutely dripping in desperation from dennis it’s right after their phones all finish updating the “thank god we’re back to normal” but everyone ignores him while he waits for a beat too long trying to laugh and smile ab it all like. it’s always read to me as the “normal” dennis wants is their past their youth, specifically before mac came out and before he left. dennis’ fight or flight has been acting up and influencing the gang for so long but it really is specifically tied to mac coming out, mac being recognised as gay by the gang and the fear they’ll recognise him too you know he’s been fighting, pushing back, causing tension and arguments and declaring his hatred etc etc. dennis is very very desperate to be back in charge of the direction of the gang and their mentalities etc, hes desperate to keep living in the past!!!!!

and chokes is another favourite example of this miscommunication and contradiction like ALLLLLL dennis wants is to go back to "normal" to before mac came out. mac being able to see through him and know him in a way dennis thought he had blocked was terrifying and caused him to physically leave like the fear of mac being able to see through his facade theres a LOT of things hes keeping hidden he cant let mac know like. but then he came back. and part of wanting everything back to normal is that unspoken connection and communication with mac - hes getting frustrated and angry at mac for not being able to read him and understand him anymore, that they cant just pick up exactly where they left - that they cant pick up from a few years ago and pretend nothings happened nothings changed. like dennis can’t communicate !!!!!! he wants mac to know him he wants everything to go back to how it Was before north dakota but. north dakota didn’t just happen to dennis. it happened to Mac Too. don’t forget that. macs seen dennis push back because he got too close so macs only following blatant orders he doesn’t want to get too close again and for dennis to leave. again. its dennis not being able to face reality to face the actual situation he himself put them in by leaving, emotionally and physically, and then crawling back. ive been saying soooo much hes only just emotionally returned from north dakota i think s13-15 we see him still stuck in fight or flight (as he has been for many seasons before this too) but in the process of crawling back home - emotionally. tail between his legs!

hes holding on tight to this sense of control to his fanatsies and memories and refusing to acknowledge reality which you see him do countless times over and over in different situations but like the end of clip show was SINISTER with the “we’re back to normal” it’s dennis’ fantasy he wants so badly to become reality. he’s the best at monitoring reality and pulling one over on the gang. because that’s all he Ever does. that’s all he’s been doing. they’ve only just caught on or directly challenged him or tried to live in their own fantasies. clip show reinforcing again and again dennis is the most skilled at / aware of having fantasies replace real life memories and experiences. he can change his perception of life to suit him, but is painfully aware its not reality for the first time. highshchool and the golden god one of my fav / the easiest examples of this like just hes always been running away from the truth from reality from some version of himself that he cant look in the mirror. also i legally have to mention roller rink its ooc because its like clip show its their memories theyre telling a story like remember when i was nice and cool yeah i do because it hurts less and they love eachother. clip show dennis takes control of the narrative of the story of the mission to get back into "reality" BUT thought he could pull one over do macden live together. hes a scared little baby running away! SAD! alsoooooooo like how the spinning top doesnt fall and we see the second charlie poke his head like !!!!!! THEYR (DENNIS IS ) STILL STUCK in dennis' fantasy of life aka where theyre all back to normal. i feel like i havent said enough ab holding tight its listerally just clinging into the past onto these idealised versions clinging onto mac and their relationship like not letting him move on you know.

yeah okay again this is def not my best explination of it but thats generally what i was getting to in that paragraph mentioning clip show and chokes :) its all dennis' relationship w the truth and reality and how he's always used it as a crutch trying to be someone else aka running away from himself from the gang from his real actual life. playing pretend as the person he thinks he should be. but then coming home and not being able to communicate ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGG because he cant even admit it to himself so they just get stuck in these cycles.

[glitterdustcyclops]

oooh fun tag game @swirlingflight did and i want to do too

Rules: name your favourite movie, character, animal, drink, song, season, book, colour and hobby.

Movie: Pacific Rim first and foremost because that shit rewired my brain on a fundamental level. still holds up years later. too bad they never made a sequel, it would have been cool to see how they could have further developed the incredible world-building the first movie teases at (AHEM) the second answer is sofia coppola's marie antoinette cuz it fully lives in my brain rent free even now, 17 years later. that movie is my EVERYTHING.

Character: right at this moment it's a tie between izzy and astarion and no we're not going to be discussing any parallels moving on

Animal: jellyfish!! but really all sea creatures, especially the tentacled ones. they're all absolute freaks in the best ways.

Drink: generally tea (i think my blood is more tea than water by volume at this point) but especially boba tea but only if it's good, i'm outrageously picky about my boba tea

Song: ooof this is impossible. groove is in the heart is the one that feels most like "me" like if i were a wrestler that would be my walk on music, but there's SO many songs that i love it feels cruel to pick favorites. anything by queen, rhiannon by fleetwood mac, flamingo by kero kero bonito, blinding by florence but also every other song by florence, and lately francesca & first time by hozier and like a million more besides.

Season: summer because that's my birthday, but close second is fall cuz halloween and pumpkin spice and the best seasonal treats

Book: sooooo many but the arden st. ives series by alexis hall was the one where it did so many things i've wanted to read in stories for forever and it got its hooks in me so deep i immediately re-read the whole thing after i had finished. i think i've re-read it like four? or five times? at this point?? i want to print those books out and eat them page by page.

Colour: minty green!! the color of baja blast and pacific oceans and everything good and bright and happy and lovely in the world.

Hobby: i'm gonna take swirl's answer for this and say creating too :P most often writing but just as much painting or drawing (badly) or caligraphy-ing and a billion other various crafts and such

as always no specific tags but do it if you want to and tag me so i can see your answers!!!!

[skoulsons]

if anyone is interested. live notes of mine while watching ep5

AHSOKA EP5 UNHINGED NOTES

Jacens so cute

HIM HIDING BEHIND CHOP

the way he peaked out 😭

HUYANG WITH SABINES HELMET

DOES HE THINK SHE DIED

‘I told them to stay together’ :((

‘They never listen’ :/

SHADOW WARRIOR

OHEJDOSB DOEHDNEOHS WI OH

world between world looks so cool

ok actually not ready for this conversation uhhhhh

YOU LOOK OLD 💀💀

baylan Skoll my boy

IM HERE TO FINISH YOUR TRAIJIJG

he’s so close to her why am iiiiiii

snips :(

can they hug actually.

OOIEHZ F SNTHE BLUEEEEE

I WOKT FIGHT YOU

IVE HESRD THAT HEFORE SJXHSKHDKSHSKSHDKS

I KNOW SHE SAYS THAT IN REBELS WHEN HES VADER AND THE WIAGDKWBDBDKSGSKS

I never finished clone wars or got very far or seen rebels in full I can’t imagine how this feels to the big big fans are you guys ok

SENATOR ORGANA :(

jacen what do you see bby

He’s so force sensitive.

LISTEN TO YOUR SON HES LIKE YOUR HUSBAND

THE LIGHTSABERS

bro world between worlds is crazy how does this even work

THE SCOREEEEEEEE SIDHSKDHSK ITS SO DELICIOUS 🤌🏻🤌🏻

THE GHOST I love hearing it called that

JACEN HAS ABILITIES HIS FATHER KANAN WAS A JEDI WE GOR THE NAME DROP AND THE CONFIRMATION AND THE AND

ohdkshdsk not Anakin’s iconic move

I love their footsteps on the bridge(??)

oh. oh no. are we getting flashbacks.

what’s going ON

O RN SKFHSKD ITS ORDER66 ZisNT IT

holy shit. it’s the 501st and anakin leading them.

OR NOT??? What’s going on

Hayden as clone wars anakin whatsjshskhsjdg

live action ahsoka wjayskwhkshd

TEMURA????? ?:?/?

GET AEAY FEOM THE ME HIS HAND ON HERS WHCIH CLONE IS THATD SKDHKSDHSJDHSK

REXRSRXWRXRSRXWTXRREXREXREXRSRX THATS GOTTA HE REX AFORSS FROM ANI RIGHT

is that aayla too i can’t tell but that’s gotta be rex right RIGHT

ITS REXRS DJSGDKSGDKSDGSKSGGS REX MY SWEET BOY DMDHDKDHD VEISHSMSVD

this is so weird in a good way but it’s WEIRD

imsorry I’m still kinda losing it over rex.

OFJGJHHHGGHA DBA THE VADER CHANGE THE CHANGE TO VADER AND BACK TO ANAKIN theyre reallt jusf teasing

xwings are so beautiful

‘You do things your way bc you care. That’s why people like you’ that’s like the nicest thing Huyang has said

Oh wonderful 💀💀

OOOOH she’s got two sabers now

OOOOH THIS IS THE MANDALORIAN ARC I REGNOGIXE THE ARMOR

AND THEYRE THE 332ND THE CLONES THEYGE GOT THE ORANGES AND WHITE AND BLUE

REXXXXXXX NIFE WORK COMMANDER MY LITTLE BROTHER AND SISTER

INLOVE HIM SO MUCH DISHDKDHDKDH

her s7 armor 🤌🏻

SIEGE OF MANDALORE YEAH YEAH YEAH

He looks SO s7/rots anakin I love this

Oh wow that shot looked very reminiscent oh the one from rots (I think form what I remember it’s been a minute)

OUIHRBS DENITS RED NOW

OOOHDBA FEKSJ THAT SHOT THATS SUCH A GOOD SHOT THEYRE LIKE SILOUHETTES WIRH THE LIGHTSABERS AND ASKDHSKDH

ENAODHWKSH THE ANAKIN TO VADER TO ANAKIN SKDHEKSHDKV STOP THIS DAVE

HIS EYES :(((

his one eye being red and the other being normal akdhskdhskdhhafsu

I know it might be the saber but also.

THEY STILL LOOK SO SITHY WHDJDID

THEYRE NORMAL YEAHHHHH

he’s gone :(

COULDNT THEYBHAVE HUGGED?????

aw she’s all tucked in <3

oh WHOA her thing is off I don’t think it’s ever been off before

not to take away from everything this episode has been so far but I really just like one scene with baylan and his daughter shin please.

heras little family :(

AWWWW AJDHAKDB CUYE LITTLR HUG LOOK AT THEM

Ahsoka cradling his head 😭

“No.” “Yes.” “No.” Love huyang

come onnn ahsoka

DOTS ARE CONNECTING

Chops “uh oh” 😭

PURRGILSSSSS

FOLLOW THOSE PURRGILS

is it two r’s or two l’s I forget

they just spawned In 💀

they’re so gross and cool at the same time

I feel like they should be following the current and not against it but. what do i know

oooh big boy

so. I don’t know what’s gone with them what is the goal here how do they work exactly

LOVE her white outfit are you KIDDING

AW THEYRE SWIMMING IN CIRCLES

do they get eaten or

ok well this is definitely going to end badly

carson 💀💀💀

CARSON

‘Kiddo’ im cool 🤠

orhskd it’s eye

looks like the mouth from nemo.

this is so insane

“I have no idea” 😭💀

THEYRE CHARGING UP TO JUMP

They way their tails light up 😭

[amiableness]

now that i’ve revealed by identity i feel awkward sending asks 🧍🏻‍♀️i can’t even sign off like i normally do 😔

i’m at work right now and when i came in five hours ago i saw this elderly couple playing board games and they are still here!!! they are so cute!!! i can’t wait to grow old peacefully with someone <33

i can’t wait to read the new dad james fic when i get off of work!! i also need to catch up on peonies because i’m still on chapter one.

how are you today?

hi my darling m!

don’t feel awkward at all! i’m so excited that you’re still sending asks! you could sign off as maeve or as m, whatever you feel most comfortable

oh my god that’s the cutest thing i’ve ever heard. i want that so badly with my boyfriend, i think it would be so healing

oooh let me know what you think of both! i’m so excited to hear your thoughts!

i’m doing well. i had a really tough day in therapy yesterday so i ended up going back in today. so for the rest of the day ive been trying to take care of myself and do things that are comforting to me and my nervous system

i hope you’re doing well <3

[pinkadork]

One day words will stop being exchanged and knowing you're more likely to be relieved than devastated or even a bit bummed is sending me

Like okay

Pause for a minute

Lets be real my tumblr page is like my public diary or whatever and like

Idk i look at shit and its sad how much through the entirety of this shit therapy or not ive been trying to see more than my side and be able to see my faults for what they are while also doing something about it but i swear im either villaianized or pacified by you in any given moment and then its like im both a dumb ass for wanting you so badly was and i feel like my feelings get overshadowed bc the bpd and oooh i take meds now, and you still treat me like like an abuser and thats what you tell people. And i just wanna stop feeling like I'll never be able to enjoy anything fr ever again. Even at my best i still have you on my brain when it feels like you're doing everything to erase me and then make me feel like thats the right response. I fucking hate this shit so much its like i sit here and I'm fine and then i keep fucking setting myself off with how upset this makes me. Like nigga i live in my aunt basement, i work in a fucking factory, im a fucking temp worker nigga , and yet and still my stupid ass is worried about who? Trying to figure out how to get right for who? Pathetic as shit.

I know you wouldn't do the same bc you didnt.

I'm so frustrated. it's unbelievable. I keep wrapping my head around how bs this all is, or how i swallowed how angry certain shit has had me.

Again nigga its been months and i know for a fact the same shit is being peddled.

You doing your thing is whatever but doing so and then trying to undermine the fact that itd hurt me (which you later admitted to trying to do anyway) nigga fucked someone then was like "i mean we broke up like 6 months ago so i did good right lol" fucking first of all at 6 months vs 5 years make it make sense, second of all it let me realize that the second time we tried when shit felt "so right" mesnt nothing to this nigga it was a good two months which for me made the breakup reset and st the time this happend made this like 4 months but as you can see by me writing this out who the fuck other than me cares about some weird shit like that. Regardless its like i have to be either high as hell or always working now more thsn ever to not walk into the very accessible highway.

I accepted that i ruined my life but holy fuck did you make it worse

I am forever sorry about how shit ended and every rude outburst ever spouted from my lips, any time i made you feel any negative way, but my brother in christ i didn't and dont deserve this shit and sometimes it really bothers me that i love you the way i do. You act scared of me like im obsessed but i feel like im going mad bc it was like you made me this way. From jump, the constant vc, the way youd make me feel insignificant or like i wasnt enough, and then have the nerve to try and make it a thing about my insecurities that yes i told you about but fuck.

I feel so dumb because i actually would wait until you're ready because i feel deep in my core that i fw you for life type shit. Its always gang shit whatever. I love you and want things to be okay regardless to how i feel .

Fuck im tired

[sorikkung]

IM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT AFTER REREADING ACT 1 NEW AND IMPROVED W MORE BRAINROT LESGO!!!

ive literally just been sending myself discord messages to a private channel while i read SKFDJGKSJF so here is. the compilation i guess

ok so rereading the first few chapters and. i completely forgot san smiled at mc straight away what was that. was it just bc he thought she was hot or did they already know shed be on that ship i needa know how early the plan was set in action... was this entire stowaway thing staged or was it only when san found her in the cargo bay that they were like yup shes a siren (maybe via seonghwa's siren powers sensing her, or when they took her jacket off to treat her arm maybe they saw the tattoo or sumn) like... i get the feeling they knew long before she first revealed it to anyone, based on how san and seonghwas entire relationships w her were done deliberately to gain her trust, it rly just changes the entire way i view these first few chapters its INSANE. i knew things would be drastically different upon a reread but like THIS different... these first chapters seem so light hearted and almost like, typical scifi story beginnings, like typical not as in bad but just standard for the genre yk, like oooh she impresses the captain and earns her place on the ship and they all have tragic backstories... but now knowing there is So Much More going on underneath makes this so much more sinister its Haunting. i fucking love it

also her saying wooyo looks vaguely familiar got me bc it could so easily be read as her seeing his glimpse of tan skin n dark hair before passing out, but no, that vague familiarity was from her past wasnt it... that first meeting w them hits so different knowing wooyo knows who she is the entire time. my god.

i also wanna note how drastically different the writing feels going back - it was good from the start, but only now that im rereading do i realise how much you've improved over the course of writing?? which is to be expected, writing something for this long, but wow, its cool to see the progression of such improvement yk. you went from good writing to Great writing to Every Fucking Line Is Rewiring My Brain Stem. goals

yeah see seonghwa saying joong doesnt make decisions on a whim and obviously decided she could stay long before he told her... he had to have known she was a siren already, right? like, why else would he decide to let her stay... unless it was just bc shes the ghost of eros and he doesnt know the details of that but like, idk, im not buying it

OH and this is reminding me of another thing i cant tell if this is just a progression of writing thing or if its part of the act they put on but like. san and seonghwa seemed like they felt pretty bad about killing up until this point. like seonghwa on the ship saying they dont have to kill everyone vs san wanting so badly to keep mc alive. this is part of why i think they mustve known she was a siren on that ship somehow bc yeah san did the same thing to jongho but we also know that hongjoong knew abt jongho right away. the san we know now doesnt seem like he holds much remorse for what he does bc hes just the captains loyal black dog… tho i do remember him feeling pretty bad abt it in the earlier chapters, i cant tell if thats just something he worked thru w mc or if it was just part of the act to gain her trust. man. i be doubting EVERYTHING now 😭 😭 😭

god i MISSEDDD the feisty sassy interactions w hwa and the mc omg things have gotten so grim now i literally forgot this was their original dynamic… “You’re so feisty, princess. If I didn’t know how dangerous you truly are, I might ask you to spar with me one day.” “You’re so romantic, pretty boy. I’m sure all the ladies love when you say that.” “All the ladies and men, in fact." i still fucking love that entire exchange its so good i love them

"and yet again you find yourself shocked by the boldness of this crew." i am once again wondering how much of this is just them being flirty bastards and how much of it was a LIE… or at least orchestrated SDKFJHKSDFHKSKFD also “Aren’t you a bit too cheeky for a criminal?” “Is there a special guide I should be following? ‘Proper ways to be a criminal’? Rule number one: don’t be cheeky with princess, it gets on her nerves.” is another really good exchange GOD I RLY FORGOT ABT ALL THIS I MISSED IT SO BAD i do love me some good banter. now when hwa uses the nickname princess it just feels so sad 😭 😭 😭

"It’s the little shit who plugged an anesthesia shot into your neck." i love it when fics refer to wooyo as some little shit or anything along the sorts its like. sooo true bestie i see we are thinking abt the same man <3 i love him sm

damn i forgot wooyoung was this Nervous at first, what was up w that… is it bc mc was there?? cause he seems mighty comfortable w the rest of em now SJKFDGKJSFD but then again that could just be after everything that happened afterwards. now i wonder if the real reason he went into the medbay was bc he missed her or sumn.

NOW I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR WOOYO, SEEING HIS LONG LOST CHILDHOOD FRIEND AND THE FIRST THING THEY WANNA DO IS SOCK HIM IN THE NOSE 😭 😭 😭

“Because you’re only good at causing problems, not fucking solving them." DAMN WTF DID WOOYO DO THAT MADE SAN SO MEAN TO HIM 😭 I DONT REMEEMBER THIS…

“In all the time you have worked together, you should know by now how San behaves and that he says things he doesn’t mean.” this hits a lil different now too, is he actually mad at wooyo or just tryna defend mc…. yeah im rly just here doubting every single interaction they have now SJDFKKJSFDHKSDF

"his amount of respect for his captain seemed lackluster at best." LMFAO IF ONLY SHE KNEW. ok so this fr has to be an act bc san would do anything hongjoong asked of him, so this is obviously him tryna appeal to mc as someone who also doesnt always agree w authority so she can confide in him, right?

"Yeosang won the mental battle. He wormed his way into San’s mind and won that way." at… telling him to shut the fuck up?? 😭 😭 howd That worm into his mind 😭

"you seem a bit more like the type who needs to be put in place rather than the other way around.” i rmb first reading this and thinking DAMN that is so ballsy for a man like yeosang to say, but is he just comfortable around her real quickly bc he knew her already. or, well, not comfortable, but comfortable enough to tease her like that hskdfgkjskdjfgsdf

“Oh? I didn’t know that you were an Elitist." yeosang you little shit SDFKJGKSDFKHSFJKDH

this whole interaction with yeosang is sending me now that i know he knows… my god hes such a little SHIT JDKFGKSDFKH

"For someone who is supposed to be a traitor, he sure seems to have a lot of pride in his home and military…" and now im wondering if yeosang really is still prideful which is. entirely possible and i could be reading too far into it or. is he tryna jog a memory….

“You seem to be the type to balance him out with calmness and humility. At least that’s the aura I get from you. Yeosang always feels so angry but you exude the opposite of that.” this bitch? mc? ghost of eros? CALM? SFDKJHSKDFHKSFDK girlies been tryna question n fight every bitch since being put on the ship but like, sure, i guess… lmfaoooo

"You can only hope that he somehow missed the marking on your back." suppose theres a chance he saw it here, but… i doubt it my bets are still on he knew the whole time shkdjfgksdf but i will see if he pays more/different attention to her after this 👁️

“Good girl. See, we can make you obedient yet.” yeah even with the context of all the future chapters what the everloving FUCK was THAT. are he and wooyoung not together already yet no they were together since long before the horizon right. i still dont know what hes playing at here flirting w her so much 😭

“Before it’s all over? How do you think this is going to end, Y/n?” how does HE think its gonna end? do he and wooyo and the others know what the big 3 were plotting to get to our ghost? i was under the impression only they knew about the whole deception to earn her trust thing, esp given how hongjoong treats yunho and manipulates him i figured the others would be the same but like… what answer is yeosang expecting to hear, here?

"And Hongjoong certainly isn’t the type to keep slaves, despite how he might come across sometimes. There’s a difference between being harsh and inhumane.” me when i manipulate peoples feelings, insecurities, trauma and relationships but i draw the line at keeping slaves… SDFKJGJKSDFKJHSDKJF i think hes still harsh and inhumane babes but ok!

“I know one thing for certain. You are not an Elitist.” yeah so he TOTALLY knew she was a siren i forgot abt this SJKDFKJHSKJDFH but hes waiting for her to say it herself, isnt he?

“I have studied Elitists in the past, and I am one myself." no the fuck you aint. SDFKJHKSJFHKJSFDKJHSKFD i used to think joong might be a siren as well himself but seonghwa would know if he was after sleeping w him so long and he still said without mc they only have One siren so… either hes a spectre, which, has no reason to hide from everyone i dont imagine, or hes a normie… my bets are on normie. so used to not being taken seriously for his class that he keeps it a secret and has a need to prove himself. honestly with the new interim id almost believe hongjoong was an elitist More if it werent for yeosang saying theres only one real elitist on the ship and its him SDFKJHSKFHKSDF

reading the first interims now and… man its crazy to think how Soft hongjoong was at the start. he was still cutthroat and ruthless, but he seems so much smaller here. like between this interim and the latest hongjoong interim, you can really tell just how far down he's spiralled. its fascinating. i love character development for the worse <3

goddamn all his worry about his crew members and being scared of breaking their trust… wheres this energy w ghosty SDKFJGKSJFGKSFDKG how far he's fallen fr…

"I don’t know how to fix him. I need to fix him. I need to help him. I just have to do something.” and he calls out mc for having a saviour complex… 🤭

anyway that was my rereading experience but heres some anecdotes from my two friends i dragged into it who Also happened to just finish act 1 and its interims around the same time

>friend 1 messages me randomly "this fic is getting me emotional wtf" and changes the topic when i ask them to elaborate KSJDFGKJ

they then (the next day) send me this screenshot followed by "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

and this one followed by "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK"

then i asked what they think of it overall so far and they said is very good, theyre excited for the pace to pick up!

meanwhile friend number 2 was going thru it so i am suppling screenshots (mind the lack of cohesion theres conversations in between some of these but im tryna cap just whats strictly relevant LMFAO)

(this was the screenshot they attached w the withered wojack)

anyway if these friends r seeing this sorry for exposing u lol but i am at least preserving ur anonymity to a number <3 actually wait you shouldnt be reading this bc mad spoilers. well ANYWAY. i imagine the only one reading this far is the author so caly i hope this brings u some modicum of joy <3 KSJFDJGKSDFKJ onto the next act!! 🤩🤩🤩

tbh it was rly good timing that we all finished the act around the same time i have no idea what im gonna do when the reading inevitably gets disjointed (haha unless...?) i guess id chuck those into your ask box??? or would dming you be ok. man either way i am flooding the fuck outta ur notifs lately and i apologise do lmk if you want me to slow down SKDJFGJKSFKDJGSKJFD hope ur having a good day regardless :>

mists of celeste ➻ one

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, eventual smut ➻ Word Count: 4.5k ➻ Rating: M ➻ Warnings: language, violence, guns and weaponry, blood, future warnings tba ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you 

⇐ previous | next ⇒

mists of celeste act one ➻ part one

‎

“You said that you’re with the military? I don’t recall the military having ships as small as yours.” If possible, your eyes would roll all the way back in your head at the man’s comment. Instead, you plaster a smile on your lips, gaze flitting around the bridge as you do. 

“Yes, Ambassador Salvadore. They sent me on a transport ship, as I am here to relieve the captain of his duties—”

“That is not necessary, Miss.”

“—on military orders, Ambassador.” Your grin continues to stretch as you gauge the state of the bridge. It is severely lacking in terms of soldiers, which is good for you on multiple fronts, but the ambassador before you is proving to be more difficult than you first anticipated.

Keep reading

[jounosparticles]

oh my god wait you're so right... i imagine the doctors might have had some security in place but like. with the hunting dogs disbanded, there's probably not a “reason” to keep the security in place. maybe someone with some old pent up rage towards them hmmmmm

also i really hope they don't cure tachi's blindness 😭 i know how badly disabilities are written in bsd so it's probably pretty likely but man. the potential. i think the two of them bonding over that & jouno supporting him and helping him learn to navigate the world would be great to his character development

speaking of character development though ,, the au is very much focused on the hunting dogs and ada but i had this idea for a little bit that like.. post mersault, chuuya becomes a little more neutral and occasionally helps out the ada with stuff. obviously not to the point where he's acting as a traitor or whatever but i think some of the rivalries would start to settle down after how much they help each other save the world

i honestly don't see jouno and chuuya getting along at all LMAO i feel like jouno has a very black and white way of seeing the world when it comes to his morals?? like in his mind bad people are bad and good are good. which is part of why he has such an easy time/takes enjoyment out of his jobs. but with chuuya actively standing in the middle, helping the ada out despite being mafia, being an enemy- but at that same point i wonder how his black and white view would affect tachihara. hhfhfjsndj i want him to have a moral crisis at some point.

(also i forgot to say earlier that i do plan on watching season 5 eventually, im rewatching bsd in its whole now and im about done with season 2, if not entirely done (i forgot to check). my characterization is based off of fan content that i consume and what i could manage to gather about what ive seen so im sorry if im like insanely off with characterization HELP i promise i have decent reading comprehension. anyway :3)

- 🗡️

yeah i’m so hoping the doctors can keep safe, i assume they always will be fine but it would be such an easy way to wipe out the hunting dogs. I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!! it is just an idea that crossed my mind haha

i will say that i wish bsd wrote disabilities a bit better than they do. the whole ordeal with kunikida really bothered me a bit however i won’t go too in detail here until you’re caught up on season 5 :) (since i’m unsure if you know what’s been happening anyway). it would be nice to let tachihara prove himself to be super strong without needing his eyesight. disabled rep is super important!!

and about chuuya i could see that honestly. it seems like the mafia and ada are willing to work together if needed anyway, as we’ve seen atsushi and akutagawa team up a few times now. i always find it funny to go back and see the tension between them during the first arc verses now they just treat each other like a mild inconvenience lol.

i think your idea with jouno is also a little funny considering his own past. i really want him to question his own morality and whether he sees himself as a good person through it all. i also believe tetchou carries the same black and white view on morals.

i wonder how the hunting dogs will see tachihara after as well. he’s a decently grey character here. his conflicting status between being a mafioso and a hunting dog will surely bring up tension in the future.

(oooh i see!! that makes sense. your characterization has been good so far :D i like seeing your interpretation of things!!!)

[jamietarttownsmyheart]

I'm the guessing game show anon lol In my delusion i think will get a parallel to jamie screaming at roy for not couching him and ted telling them to woman up like i imagine them fighting and that affecting jamie cause idk maybe his father started texting him and them fighting made him remember his fight with his dad (Phil confirmed and based on the trailer they are playing soom with Msnchester in the trailer it looks like jamie at first is like nervous or idk kinda dizzy stressed but then there's a scene he is playing really well and I assume is pushing for the goal but it seems like a Zava play and I'm like his only motive to want to score that badly is his dad and i theorise next episode is about Jamie) theory b that Isaac is gonna make a big scene be an asshole Jamie will call him on his shit theory c probably roy will realise there's an issue and they will start screaing theory d that is a bit likely cause it was such a cliche that isaac was the one to discover first he is gonna say some bullshit like i cant be here with colin or something or someone will say something and he will be like dont say that it sounds gay and you can give someone a bad impression or some shit theory e idk someone will spill their guts and isaac as the lovely asshole piece of work he is will saythanks for trusting me you really are a true friend but i don't see them being md at each other by the end of the episode and ughhv legend I' to afraid to dm you because you are cool also i had this funny theory based on the theory that if they wear or have something leopsrd print they are queer till now we just need jamie and isaac to come out and will to wear something leopard print to make it even so i call it the 6 inifinity stones cause for now 4 people are out theres's 2 left 😂😂😂 also love the i call it rogue theory cause is most likely to be a likeable theory ut a bit like sure it won't happen like jamie and will being secretly siblings anyway thats all i think lets see if i have the guts to dm you later

hey gussing game anon!! i havent watched the episode yet, hopefully will do that tomorrow and i've steadily avoided spoilers, so, lets go with theories.

my own:

i feel like, isaac and colin's "conflict" will not be that isaac is homophobic but rather wondering if he ever did smth to make colin feel unsafe or wary of telling him.

since we're nearing the end of the season soon, i feel like maybe we'll get more of the "endgame product" of sorts, with clues like x couple is gonna happen, or x couple won't happen, that sort of thing.

i wish i had better theories for this guessing game but ive been so consumed by finals that my brain is mush im sorrly lmao

your theories:

i think will get a parallel to jamie screaming at roy for not couching him and ted telling them to woman up like i imagine them fighting and that affecting jamie cause idk maybe his father started texting him and them fighting made him remember his fight with his dad (Phil confirmed and based on the trailer they are playing soom with Msnchester in the trailer it looks like jamie at first is like nervous or idk kinda dizzy stressed but then there's a scene he is playing really well and I assume is pushing for the goal but it seems like a Zava play and I'm like his only motive to want to score that badly is his dad and i theorise next episode is about Jamie

oooh okay, i like this, this is good. is this ep a manchester ep? or will that be the one after? i do hope there is some resolution there, and i love how youve analayzed the stress in his playing lol

theory b that Isaac is gonna make a big scene be an asshole Jamie will call him on his shit

oh, this one directly is the opposite of my own theory!

theory c probably roy will realise there's an issue and they will start screaing

lmaooo plausible, roy does love screaming

theory d that is a bit likely cause it was such a cliche that isaac was the one to discover first he is gonna say some bullshit like i cant be here with colin or something or someone will say something and he will be like dont say that it sounds gay and you can give someone a bad impression or some shit

i see you're protecting yourself by preparing for the worst lol, no harm in that! im a sucker for isaac though and i believe in him

but i don't see them being md at each other by the end of the episode

i do think that they'll reconcile by the end of the ep, you are so right for this

also i had this funny theory based on the theory that if they wear or have something leopsrd print they are queer till now we just need jamie and isaac to come out and will to wear something leopard print to make it even so i call it the 6 inifinity stones cause for now 4 people are out theres's 2 left 😂😂😂 also love the i call it rogue theory cause is most likely to be a likeable theory ut a bit like sure it won't happen like jamie and will being secretly siblings anyway thats all i think

lmaoo, you wanna see isaac and jamie in leopard print, yk what, valid, we need to see it. lmaoooo i love your name for it! the six infinity stones, i love it

aLSO your jamie and will being secretly siblings theories, i did not see that one coming, anon i am intrigued by this simply bc i love hearing ppl's hcs and thoughts. are you thinking a half-sibling situation or?

and hey anon, no need to be shy! but i totally understand it too, and if you dont feel like dming me yet, thats fine too! take your time, and, in the meantime, the ask box is always open!

[maraudererasmut]

Black and White (Part XXXI)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX | Part XXI | Part XXII | Part XXIII | Part XXIV | Part XXV | Part XXVI | Part XXVII | Part XXVIII | Part XXIX | Part XXX | Part XXXI | Part XXXII | Part XXXIII

"Tell me everything!"

Remus smiled up at Lily, who was sitting across the table, almost vibrating with excitement. Long, delicate fingers were wrapped around a coffee mug and an expectant grin was plastered to her face. The artist rolled his eyes at her and leaned back in his seat. He was planning to take his time with this; he quite enjoyed making Lily antsy with anticipation.

"Well…" he began languidly, giving an indifferent shrug. "James practically shoved us into the office to get us to talk…"

"Yeah, I know that part!" Lily responded with a pout. "Details, Remus! Let me live vicariously through you!"

Remus chuckled at his friend and took a sip of tea.

"Well," he continued after a pregnant pause. "We talked. And then we kissed…"

"I knew it!" Lily shouted with a grin, leaning forward in her seat and jabbing an accusatory finger towards Remus. "I knew something happened in there! You two were making googly eyes at each other all night!"

"I do not make googly eyes, Lily," Remus protested, pretending to be affronted. "I'm a professional."

"Please. There's no point denying it, you're absolutely smitten!"

Remus simply shrugged in response, but he couldn't keep himself from blushing. She was right, after all— Remus was enamoured.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he lied with a smug grin.

"Whatever. The story's not over. Tell me more!"

"Fine!" Remus gave an exaggerated sigh, as if he wasn't loving every single moment of this interrogation. "Well, you guys left the gallery… and… uh…" Remus' mind drifted momentarily to the previous evening, when Sirius had him pressed against the wall. The artist felt his stomach twist in excitement and shook the thought from his mind before his face betrayed him.

"Oooh, yes!" Lily let out a giggle, wiggling her shoulders happily. "James said he interrupted you two having a moment. Was it as bad as he made it sound?"

"Depends on what he told you…"

"He said you two were all over each other!"

Remus felt his cheeks grow hot and ran a hand through his curls.

"I mean… we weren't having sex or anything…" He said sheepishly, earning himself a high-pitched squeal from his friend.

"So you were all over each other? Did he really lift you up against the wall?"

"Anyway," Remus decided that this was an excellent time to continue his story and stop dwelling on details. "After James came into the gallery— "

"Remus!"

" — we decided that talking was probably a good idea."

"Ugh, you're such a spoil sport!"

Remus gave Lily's foot a little kick beneath the table before continuing.

"Anyway. We talked about stuff… about how he was kind of a dick before…"

"Good. He needed to hear that."

"And about… ground rules that needed to be in place if we… wanted this to be a thing…"

"Oh my god! So are you two officially dating now?!"

"Uh… yeah, we are. We're… a couple, I guess?" Remus buried his face in his hands. "It's so weird to say aloud!"

"Oh my god, I'm so happy for you guys! This is amazing! God, Sirius has had a huge crush on you for so long!"

"Wait, what?" Remus blinked at Lily and furrowed his brow. "He has?"

Lily's eyes widened slightly as she realized her mistake.

"Oh… he… didn't tell you? Crap, I shouldn't have said anything…"

"How long?"

"Just ignore me! Pretend I didn't say anything!"

"How long, Lily?!"

"Since the beginning! Like… first time he laid eyes on you, I could see it. He was head over heels!"

"Why didn't you say anything!"

"I do not meddle, Remus!"

"Liar! You're such a meddler!"

Lily let out a giggle, as Remus nudged her with his foot.

"Anyway, what happened next, Remus?! The story's not over!"

The artist shrugged, trying to recall the rest of the evening.

"No, that's about it… he drove me home. We chatted a bit in the car… he called me his boyfriend, which was nice…" Remus couldn't keep the stupid grin off his face as he talked about Sirius. "And… uh… we kissed a bit… and then I left. He was a perfect gentleman. He said something about wanting to go on a date first before anything else…"

"Oh my god, Remus! I can't believe you didn't shag him senseless. You have far more self control than I do!"

"I mean, I dropped hints… I just… I guess he wanted to wait. I don't want to pressure him into anything."

"Oh, trust me. He wants this as badly as you do…"

"Okay, shut up. That's my boyfriend you're talking about."

Lily let out another squeal, garnering looks from other patrons of the cafe. She didn't seem to care, she was so lost in the thrill of Remus' love life.

"Why do you want to hear so much about this, huh?" Remus teased.

"Remus, I've been married for three years, and exclusive with James for six. So forgive me if I'm excited over blossoming romance! I haven't gotten to feel that in so long!"

"But… you and James are happy… right?"

"Of course! That doesn't mean I don't miss it. Yeah, I love James. And yes, I plan to spend the rest of my life with just him, but that's what love turns into: something safe and comfortable. There's something to be said about new love… that thrill of kissing someone for the first time, of experiencing that excitement." She leaned back in her chair and brushed a strand of auburn from her eyes. "Like I said, I'm living vicariously through you."

Remus grinned at his friend.

"Happy to help," he joked, sticking out his tongue. "So long as you don't plan to join us. No offense, but girls just aren't my thing."

It was Lily's turn to kick Remus under the table, and the two of them burst into fits of laughter. Remus savoured the levity of the situation, vaguely recalling how stressed he had been twenty four hours earlier. Was it really possible that so much had changed in such a short amount of time?

“What’s up, Remus?”

The artist cocked his head to the side and looked at his friend.

“What do you mean?”

“You looked lost for a second. Everything okay?”

“Yeah… I was just…thinking to myself.” Remus took a sip of his tea, enjoying the rush of warmth coursing through him. “Things seemed so different this time yesterday…”

“Yeah…” Lily agreed, glancing down at her coffee mug. “I know what you mean.”

“I just… I hope things stay this way, you know? I hope it doesn’t change back just as quickly…”

“I don’t think it will…” Lily said, matter-of-factly. “I don’t know if things will always feel exactly this way, they usually don’t… but finding that happy medium... that balance in between… that’s what love is all about.”

Remus narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips.

“I never said I loved him, Lily.”

“You know what I mean! I mean it’s not all… perfect or horrible. It’s not about being either ecstatic or miserable. There’s… Well, it’s all about those times in between. It’s about being comfortable and about working together through trials and complicated situations.”

Remus shrugged. Lily had a point, he just wasn’t sure if it applied to him.

“I suppose…”

“Look, just…” Lily let out a sigh… “You and Sirius are both so hot-headed. I love you guys I just… I think you should work on not being so… one way or the other. Find that place in the middle and stand your ground there. That’s where you’ll find the most happiness.”

“Place in the middle…” Remus repeated absently, wondering what Lily meant by that. “Got it.”

“Good. Now… let’s get ready to go. We need to see if anything of ours actually sold last night! You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be…” Remus smiled and rose from his seat, gathering his coat and scarf and bundling up. This would be his first time heading to his boyfriend’s art gallery.

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 20: 1x11 The Menagerie Part 1

Hello time for Spock’s Mutiny Part One

That is a LOT of 50s looking sci fi background to hit with me all at once.

Spock with his carefully neutral face like ‘hmmm? a distress signal that did not come from here? how COULD that be?’

Kirk and Spock tilt their heads at the exact same time lol.

“Subspace chatter.” Please, Commodore, call it what it is, “gossip.”

“We met when he was promoted to Fleet Captain.” Okay so he was promoted, but to a weird rank that literally only exists for like two people in Star Trek I guess. (I had to look it up because I don’t know what a Fleet Captain is lol.)

I don’t understand how Pike could be the same age as Jim and yet hold the Captain’s position for 11+ years before Jim was promoted like??? Did he become a Captain faster than AOS!Kirk? Also, he looked like he was Jim’s age now in those tapes from 13 years ago. He cannot possibly be in his mid-30s now, or he’d be in his early 20s on the Talos tapes, and also, younger than Spock. So either I misheard or...it’s wrong. I guess it was supposed to mean that he was, at the time Spock served with him, the same age Jim is now?? But it shows up in a weird place to be making that point.

Oh, Spock’s mentor. The emotion.

And so begins Spock’s amazing cavalcade of lies, lies, and more lies. Doesn’t even look like it’s hard. He’d basically do anything for his replacement father.

Pike must be the only other person Spock has ever served under.

I love it when they argue about records and log books. Like, this sort of bureaucratic dueling makes up a lot more of the TOS plot than people think. The record logs must have been changed because Spock never lies!

Love that Kirk and Mendez are fighting and Mendez just yells “Well you’re right!” and that’s the end of the argument.

Is this the same Jose who wanted his peppers in another episode?

Spock is so supremely sneaky here. Mission Impossible theme plays as he skulks around and messes with the computers.

Okay, that little flirting thing with Miss Piper and the mention of “Helen” and Kirk looking briefly worried about what Helen might have said about him--that does make him look a little slutty. So he loves love okay guys!!!

That scenery out the window omg 1954 called it wants its illustrations back.

All these dumbasses on the bridge and only Uhura is suspicious.

Spock is so exasperated. All these questions! Good thing he has a fake recording of the Captain telling them all to just listen to Spock. He really thought of everything.

Kirk is looking very handsome and thoughtful. (My mom: finally a man who can think and still look fine.) He’s so distressed at the idea of Spock doing something bad.

This Bones and Kirk scene. I’m so distracted by their insistence that Vulcans can’t lie. I mean have you considered that when they told you they can’t lie.... they were lying??? Also lol @ the idea of Spock’s human side being “completely submerged.” That’s another lie he’s telling you Bones!

Love Bones defending Spock though. “He would never make a false entry! This is the LOGS were talking about here!” He adores Spock too.

That’s a cool little secret book they got there.

Kirk’s face when the Enterprise leaves without him!

Self-driving Enterprise.

I love how everyone is just unaware of the mutiny lol. Just cackling at Spock’s blatant and constant lies. “I’ve placed myself in command of the Enterprise.” Sitting in The Chair.

I’m sorry but I’m laughing so hard at all of this. He made sure to lure Bones back onto the ship with the vaguest of messages just so he could be like “Look, friend, I have a secret... I stole a Captain!”

Lol Jim following in the shuttlecraft. Can’t get rid of him that easily! Also I love the shuttle design. Adorable.

Oh no, Jim’s in danger! You can tell from Spock’s face that this was a crimp in his plan that he did not entirely expect. (I do think he figured he’d be court-martialed eventually but this specifically, Jim not turning back when he ran out of fuel, I think did throw him.)

Jim, caring more about Spock than about himself.

Bones like “hmmm who could it POSSIBLY be in the shuttle?”

“I never received orders to take command. Just went ahead and did it.”

Well this is an awkward situation!

Bones: “Well, confine him!”

Uhura’s reaction lol. Always a cutie.

Dammit I’m a doctor, not an arresting officer.

Scotty muttering (possibly his only line in this ep)

Spock’s weird statue. Lurking in the background while Spock somehow spies on the transporter room from his room? With a camera that can zoom in and out for dramatic effect?

So Spock thought it was possible Jim would follow him, so he made his mutiny impossible to undo.

Weird how they yet again call Spock a lieutenant commander when his rank stripes have always indicated he’s a commander.

I love when they discuss regulations. These nerds! They locate so much drama in it and the JD in me is having a damn good time.

I feel like this is the closest Jim and Spock have ever come to fighting. DENIED!

Oooh fancy dress time.

I feel like Spock is having a good time here lol. He lives for the drama.

He’d make a good lawyer. Kirk would too.”Commodore, you’ve opened the door” takes me back to Evidence.

And now, 13 years ago...

Jim, you’re ruining the DRAMA with your interruptions!

“Could you be biased because he’s your personal friend? Your special friend? Your best buddy Spock?”

This pilot looks like it was made 10 years before The Corbomite Maneuver or even Where No Man.

Young Spock wants to go exploring on the new planet! Kirk 100% would have gone, like, no question.

What kind of random ass outfits were those? Tennis Sunday on the Enterprise?

Look at that close up shot of the communicator. My flip phone c. 2032.

Gotta flop on the bed in the most photogenic way possible. Google Earth, always taking pictures.

This doctor is so obviously proto-Bones. And Pike IS Kirk but whinier and without that Shatner charm.

Swords and armor and deserted fortresses?? What?

This whole ep just reads as SUCH a rough first draft.

Knowing what we know about Spock, I almost doubt there was a distress message lol.

Time warp factor 7.

Court of space law.

Literally can’t believe they watched a 10 minute clip of Pike whining as part of this actual legal proceeding.

Kirk’s probably very curious to see more of Spock in his 20s.

Spock’s eyeshadow at the trial is super on point.

I can’t believe Pike has literal papers lol. Like papers made out of paper. They have printers in deep space?

Their little away team jackets, so cute.

More 50s sci fi backgrounds! I feel like people who think TOS is dated or ages badly need to watch this and, to a lesser extent, Where No Man. I think it shows just how much TOS did its own thing bc those pilots really took from the recent sci fi landscape, whereas TOS created its own thing. I think that’s why TNG looks more dated to me--it seems of a piece with other 90s media, whereas, aside from stuff like the hairstyles or the miniskirts, TOS doesn’t look 60s and it doesn’t look like other contemporary genre work.

Pretty blue flowers that make music make Spock smile--that’s my favorite part of the whole pilot. He’s so cute.

 A GIRL.

I love that reveal that the transmissions are coming from Talos IV because it means that Spock, while on trial for mutiny and an attempted capital offense, commits ANOTHER capital offense AS PART OF his trial. The balls.

“I respectfully decline.”

Literally the only time he freaks out about anything is when Jim is blamed. I mean truly his plan is at least 50% more complicated than it had to be solely to protect Jim. And now the Captain is going down with him, and he’s mad at him!! A cliffhanger for sure.

Honestly, even the power of Jim just standing alone in the room.... Underrated.

“To be concluded next week.”

[tantawans]

babyyy, sorry, ive been so busy, ive barely have time to breathe, but yeah, i will reply to your answers on my ask soon!! how are you doing? hows your health now? i dont have much to tell, ive just been studying a lot. and im craving garlic bread so badly today, and idk why :((( also, the brightwin fanmeeting was so beautiful (even if ive only seen like bits of it) and it made me cry. im just so proud of those two, they deserve all the praise, they are good people

hey angel! that's totally okay please take time for yourself!! i hope you're doing well please take care of yourself!💕💗 i think i'm feeling a lot better lately i haven't felt sick for a while so that's good! thank u for asking! oooh garlic bread sounds amazing i hope you get to eat some you deserve it!!! yeah i've seen a lot of gifs and videos and it seems like it was a very special and emotional event so i'm glad it went really well and they received a lot of love and support!!